#adonis creed fanfic

[starcrossedxwriter]

Princess’s Punishment (MBJ x Reader)

A/N: I didn’t have the energy to go back and find the two asks lol but this is a request from two folks for a kinky punishment story with. So enjoyyyy!

Warnings: degradation, name calling, NSFW, lots of kinks (spanking, cockwarming, etc)

***

“What do you think?” You gave her fiancee a model-like twirl so he could examine your outfit from all angles. 

Michael glanced up from his phone and the email he was typing, letting out a low whistle as his eyes swept over your perfect frame. 

“That dress gon’ get you into trouble, Princess.” 

You threw him a coy smile before turning back to the giant mirror in the middle of the store. You were the only customer there, Michael preferring to reserve stores for an hour or two so you could have a private and serene shopping experience. It ensured everyone in the store was solely dedicated to getting you exactly what you needed and wanted. Most stores happily obliged, knowing that anytime Michael brought his princess in, the limit on his card was nonexistent. Today was no different. 

“That looks great on you,” a man offered as he emerged from the back of the store. His dreads were neatly pulled back out of his face. He was the definition of tall, dark, and handsome, the exact type of man who would have once turned your head before you met Michael, the love of your life. But no one compared to the literal sexiest man alive in your eyes and that was a fact. 

You had never seen him in the store before but when the woman you typically worked with didn’t return, you realized he would be assisting you. 

“Hope you don’t mind. Jenn had a family emergency. I’m Marcus,” he reached out to shake your hm which you accepted with a bright smile. 

“Nice to meet you. Y/N,” you introduced yourself before turning back to the mirror, your hands running over the luxuriously soft material that hugged your curves. “Not sure this is the most flattering though.” 

“I have another dress in the back, we just got it in. Similar to this one but it’s perfect for you. Will be far more flattering. A body like that… you should show it off.” 

You did not pick up on the obvious flirting in his tone, particularly as that was the farthest thing from your mind. You merely nodded with a smile. “Thank you. That would be great. Can’t wait to see it.” 

“I’ll bring that and a couple other pieces. We technically aren’t supposed to show them yet but for a friend,” he winked at you. “I can bend a few rules.” 

“Really??” You were merely excited about getting an advanced look at your favorite store’s new pieces. 

“Of course. Be right back.” 

“Thank you!” You watched him for a few moments as he walked away before turning to Michael whose face was set in a scowl. “Everyone here’s so nice all the time.” 

“That nigga’s nice cause he wants to fuck you,” Michael grumbled, his tone signaling that he was not as pleased with the service as you.” 

Your jaw fell open before you laughed at the absurdity of the idea. Men rarely flirted with you, if ever. “Come on, baby. Don’t be silly. He wants us to spend money, likely to make his commission better so he’s just being extra complimentary.” 

“Nahhh, I watched him basically undress you with his fuckin’ eyes, Princess. Besides, I’m the one payin’ and nigga didn’t say shit to me. Acted like I’m not even here. I don’t like him.” 

You merely laughed, clearly not realizing that Michael was genuinely upset with the salesman. “Aww my grumpy baby. You don’t like anyone,” you teased before disappearing into your dressing room to try on more outfits. 

Outfit after outfit, you pranced around for your boyfriend and gave him a fashion show. He was thoroughly unhelpful as he loved 95% of the items you tried on and refused to help you narrow down the massive stack of clothes. Anytime you went shopping, he thought you should buy everything you remotely liked, even if you had one exactly like it in the closet at home. 

“What do you think? Don’t need both black dresses,” you muttered more to yourself than either man in the room. 

“You look perfect in both. Just get both.” 

“Not helpful, babe!” 

“I think you should get the one you have on. Shows off your body better.” 

“You commentin’ on her body a lil too much, my nigga,” Michael called out, clearly frustrated by Marcus’ innocent compliments toward you as you finished trying on clothes. 

“Michael!” You whipped your head around in shock at his rudeness. “Sorry, he gets very grumpy when we’ve been shopping too long.” 

“No apologies needed,” he raised his hands in surrender before making an excuse to go to the back of the store to get her something else. 

You scoffed once he was gone, you and Michael having a silent standoff. 

“That was hella rude,” you chastised him. 

Michael merely shrugged “Hella rude for him to openly flirt with my girl in front of me. He bold enough for that shit, he’s bold enough to take the heat.” 

“You’re ridiculous.” 

“Nah and what were you doin’? Flirting back with that nigga.” 

You let out a laugh at the absurdity of that statement. “Flirting back?? It’s called being nice. I only got eyes for one, very jealous man.” 

And with that, you disappeared back into the changing room to put back on your real clothes. You could not understand what was up with Michael as of late. He seemed to be so much more jealous than he used to be lately, snapping or glaring at any man who got too close or talked to you for too long. He had done the same thing at a premiere just last week. You had chalked the first couple times up to him having a bad day but now you wondered if something else was wrong. 

“You ok?” You asked as you both patiently waited for Marcus to package your mountain of clothes and accessories. 

His eyebrow was furrowed with an angry expression on his face. Still packing most of the weight of Erik Killmonger, he looked intimidating to say the least. But you did not understand what he could be that upset about, nothing had even happened. 

He did not answer you, merely handing Marcus his card to finish paying. 

“Need help getting these to your car?” Marcus asked, his hands already preparing to grab the heavy garment bags and smaller shopping bags 

“That would be g-” you started to say when Michael immediately cut you off. 

“Nah we got it.” His short tone made you cringe slightly, Marcus’s face blanching at the rudeness of it. 

He gestured for his security to pick up the bags and grabbed the rest himself before gesturing for you to exit the store. You merely offered a polite thank you before following him out of the store. 

***

As soon as you walked into the house, you started up the stairs to put your new items in their proper spots when he stopped you. 

“Princess!” 

“What’s up, babe?” 

His tone and face looked almost bored as he scrolled on his phone. “When you’re done, assume the position by the counter.” 

Your eyes grew wide with surprise. Assume the position was a clear directive in the Jordan household, one that let you know the relaxing evening you had planned was not going to happen. A sign that you had upset your master, and thus, must be punished. 

“What did I do??” The logical part of your brain was well aware he was not going to tell you. If your infraction was not obvious, he rarely told you what it was until the punishment had started. But as you racked your brain, you could not understand what on Earth you did to upset him. You had a really nice day together and aside from the weird interaction with the sales associate, he seemed fine. Then it clicked in your brain. 

His jealous streak seemed to not have ended earlier, after all. 

“That’s for me to know and you to find out. 10 minutes.” 

He did not spare you another glance before he disappeared toward the living room, leaving you gawking after him on the stairwell.

“Fuck my life,” you muttered as you raced up the stairs. You completely disregarded your original mission of putting your clothes away, you did not have time for that. 

Instead, you stripped down to nothing and pulled your braids out of their high ponytail. You went to your drawer and pulled out the various things you knew were required: your collar and leash, nipple clamps, flogger, blindfold, and ball gag. He did not always use them all and sometimes he used none of them. But that was another thing for him to know and you to find out. 

You descended down the stairs, your entire body almost floating with anticipation. You knew whatever he had planned would be the most delicious form of torture and that he would fuck you senseless once you begged for his forgiveness enough. 

Michael was leaning against the counter, scrolling on his phone as he waited. Ingredients for dinner laid out on the counter. 

“Thinkin’ short ribs for dinner. Cool?” He asked, his voice completely calm and normal despite what you knew was about to happen. The sweet, doting finace who cared what you wanted for dinner would disappear and a new persona would take over. 

“Sounds good. Thanks, babe.” 

“You ready, Princess?” he asked, checking in as he always did before an intense punishment or scene, which you always appreciated. They were punishments but they were supposed to be pleasurable, in a way, for you too. 

“Yes, daddy,” you answered immediately, handing him all the toys you brought with you before sinking down to your knees before him. You spread your legs just enough for your flower to be on display for him, already wet and aching for his rough touch in the mere minutes he left you. The chill of the house caused the hair on your arms to stick up but you ignored it, things would heat up in a few minutes. 

You wanted to smirk as you watched his eyes cloud with lust but you kept your face neutral. Michael was gone and your master stood in front of you. And his perfect, submissive fuck toy replaced you, designed and ready for whatever pain or pleasure he was generous enough to offer. And the growing ache between your thighs revealed a simple truth: you loved every single second of being his slut. 

Your eyes remained trained on the wood panels of the kitchen floor as he silently studied you. The minutes stretched on and on at an agonizing pace but you did not lift your head or move an inch. However, you could not stop the little sigh of relief that passed your lips when you finally saw his feet come into your line of vision. 

His hand wrapped around your throat, your mouth falling open with a small moan as he squeezed. It was not hard, just enough to let you know he was there. More, you wanted to beg. That was the problem, it did not matter what he did. You just wanted more of it and more of him. You were so addicted to the drug that was Michael, it felt like a lifetime supply would not even be enough. 

His hand forced your head upward so you were looking directly into his expressive brown eyes, your favorite part of him. This position could have had you cumming right then. 

All you could think about was how good it felt to have his hand squeezing your throat while you rode his dick. The mere memory made your pussy clench. But that was not in the cards for you… not yet anyway. 

“You want me to fuck you, don’t you?” He knew everything about his little fuck toy, exactly what his Princess wanted and needed. And there was not a man alive who knew it better. “Such an eager fuck toy for me. That’s why you were tryin’ on all those slutty clothes today? Think you’d get my attention and I’d come back here and fuck you like the attention-seeking whore you are?” He asked as he let go of your throat, much to your sadness, and started circling you. A predator sizing up his prey, indeed. 

You were not foolish enough to answer a single question he levied, they were rhetorical. 

“But I wasn’t the only man whose attention you got. Bet you loved that shit too… his hands on you fixing your outfits, complimenting you. Flirting with him, accepting his help right in front of your master. I should’ve fucked you right there in front of him to remind you that there’s only one man whose attention you should want.” 

The thought of that made your head spin. Him forcing you to your knees in the dressing room, fucking you from behind, claiming you and your body loudly for every person to hear. 

He gently put your collar around your neck, the fur lining made it more comfortable than it would have been otherwise. It was custom, Princess Y/N, embroidered on it. 

“Too tight?” he asked as he attached the leash to it. 

“No master,” you muttered. 

“Good.” 

He tugged on it, forcing you in step behind him. You bit back the moans this caused, him walking you around your living room and kitchen for a few minutes. He knew how much you loved to crawl behind him. It was clear he was trying to ramp you up as much as possible before the punishment truly started. And it was working perfectly. 

By the time you returned to the spot you started at in the kitchen, your knees in pain from the hardwood floor, your body was screaming for his touch. Your core felt painfully empty, you were desperate to feel him on you, inside you. He slid the blindfold over your eyes. 

You whimpered for a moment at the sudden loss of sight, sensory deprivation was a new game for you both and you were still getting used to it. 

“Say the word and the blindfold can come off, Princess,” he whispered. At your nods, he continued. “Face down, ass up. Legs spread. Don’t move a muscle.” 

You adjusted yourself to assume his favorite position. You hissed as your upper body laid against the cool kitchen floor but you made sure the arch in your back was perfect, your ass perched high in the air. Your legs were spread enough for him to see the glistening mess coating your inner thighs. 

“You disgustin’ cum slut. Crawlin’ like a whore made you that wet?” He degraded you, making your entire body shudder as his hands caressed your ass. 

“Yes daddy,” you breathed out, your brain already losing the ability to fully form words. The fog of pleasure was already heavy and he had not even started. “I-I’m sorry.” 

You tensed up sightly, knowing that when you least expected it, his caresses would turn into sharp blows that would make you cry out. However, just as quickly as he started touching you, he stopped. You could not feel his presence around you at all. You had not been given permission to move and you could not see him. You could not even sense where he was anymore. 

Had he left you there? Naked and unable to move like a statue? After a few moments, you heard soft footsteps not far away, causing you to exhale slightly. He was still hovering around. 

Minutes passed by, slower than you thought time could move, as he just left you there without  a single touch or word. But you followed directions, your legs would literally collapse before you moved a muscle. 

Your mind raced to understand why he was not punishing you. And after about 15 minutes of utter silence except for the sounds of him cooking, you longed for it. The sting of his palm, the fire of the flogger against your ass, your thighs, your back, literally anywhere at this point. But there was nothing. This was more of a punishment than the spanking. If you had been given permission to speak, you would have begged for your own torture at this point, would have begged for as many lashings as he felt you deserved for being such a shameless whore. But you could do nothing, nothing but sit with shaking legs in your disorienting haze of pleasure until he decided that you were worth even doling out a punishment on. 

It was clear to you why he chose that particular spot, a spot you knew was visible to him regardless of where he stood in the kitchen. You were on display. 

At that realization, you deepened the arch in your back to something you didn't even know was possible. You had to force yourself not to wiggle your ass in his face, entice him to light it on fire with his strength. 

“Couldn’t even last 15 minutes without daddy’s attention, could you?” You were not sure if you were allowed to answer. “You may speak, Princess.” 

“D-daddy pl-please…” you begged. 

“Didn’t seem to care about me earlier. Why should I give you attention now?” 

“B-Because… I need…” your words failed you. You needed so much in that moment. You needed the pain, you needed the pleasure it brought, you needed to be reminded what you were and whose you were. 

“You need what? Need me to make you cum? You’ll be grateful if I let you cum at all tonight. Need me to fuck you like the cumslut you are? Not sure you deserve my dick. Or you need me to remind you what happens to disobedient fuck toys who anger their masters? Need me to remind you who owns you?” 

“Y-Yes! P-Please… I d-deserve to be punished. I n-need it.” The words barely left your lips before you felt the first blow of the flogger against your ass. “T-Thank you,” you moan, savoring the sting and ache it left behind. 

However, you could not savor it long as he rained them down on every inch of your ass and thighs and a couple well-placed agonizing ones against your pussy that made you scream. You kept count, as was already required. 

“Keep your legs open, slut or I’ll add five more,” he demanded as your entire body convulsed as the flogger caught part of your clit. You forced your body to maintain the position, which took all your willpower. And to think, you begged for this. 

Tears were streaming down your face when he reached 29. That was the most he had ever done with the flogger as it was more painful than his hand and it was torture. However, you took it, the desire to use your safeword never coming to your mind. You would not be able to sit tomorrow but your entire body was on fire, hot, sweaty and desperate for him to fuck the shit out of you. 

When you finally said 30, you were proud of yourself for taking all of it like a champ. 

“That’s a good slut. You should see your ass right now,” he muttered. “So beautiful.” You could only imagine your entire body was completely red and you could feel a couple welts from where he punished you in the same spot over and over again. “You may sit up.” 

You whimpered as you stretched and moved out of your position, your muscles protesting. As you sat up, his hand cupped your cheek and wiped away the few falling tears. 

“Too much?” he asked quietly. 

“No sir. T-thank you for r-reminding me what I am,” you whisper. 

He helped you to your feet, your legs shaking slightly. 

“Let’s watch somethin’ on the tv. Short ribs are slow cookin’.”

Despite the pain in your body, you could not help but smile. This was what made the punishments worth it, this moment. You were happy he let you walk to the couch, giving you a chance to stretch your legs. You stood and watched, licking your lips as he stripped off his clothes before sitting down, his head dripping with pre-cum that made you want to sink to your knees and steal a taste. You licked your lips, longing clearly written on your face that made Michael want to chuckle. He knew how much his Princess loved servicing him on your knees. 

“Don’t even think about it. Worthless cunts who can’t remember who they belong to don’t get a taste. Why?” 

“Because servicing you is a reward and I don’t deserve a reward, daddy,” you mumbled quietly, your voice just as lost and pitiful as you felt. This was the point of punishment though because all you now wanted to do was assure him you were his perfect, obedient princess so you could be rewarded. 

“Good girl. Earn my forgiveness and maybe I’ll fuck that sweet mouth before bed tonight. Now for your punishment…” 

Your eyes grew wide. The last 30 minutes had not been the punishment?? 

Fuck my life. 

“Climb up here and sit on my dick. Facing the tv.” 

You practically catapulted onto his dick without hesitation. Not just because good girls did what they were told without hesitation but because this was your type of punishment. RIding his dick was your favorite pastime.

You slid down on his hard dick, moaning loudly as he filled you to the brim. It was not the orgasm your body desperately needed but it satisfied the overwhelming, blinding carnal need to be filled you felt. You immediately started rocking your hips to increase the friction and pleasure when a powerful and painful swat against your already bruised ass stopped your movements. 

“I didn’t tell your dumb ass to move. Seems like you keep forgetting I own you Princess. This pussy… this body… it’s all mine. And no one else gets to touch what’s mine, no one else controls what’s mine. So you’re gonna sit there on my dick and you’re not gonna move until I tell you to. When I tell you to ride my dick, you do it. When I tell you to stop, you fuckin’ stop. Understand?” 

“D-Daddy please?” you hoped your pleas for mercy and the soft puppy eyes you had on would be enough to soften his resolve. Of all the things he had forced you to do since walking in the house, this was the worst of them. To feel him inside you and be so close to bringing him the pleasure he deserved and you desperately needed but not be allowed to? 

Fuck my life. 

“You should be thankin’ me for even letting your worthless cunt warm my dick. Now sit there and watch the show,” he nodded toward the tv where an episode of both of your favorite anime was playing. 

You moaned and turned around, trying to keep your attention focused on the show in front of you. However, it was impossible. 

This was an utterly new sensation and, while it was torturous, you could not deny that it was pleasurable in its own way. 

Michael’s girth and length was something to be reckoned with and he knew how to use it. His dick perfectly curved into your g-spot and could have you cumming with a few strokes. As you sat on him, his hands occasionally wandered to caress your other pleasure zones. His strong hands massaged your inner thighs causing you to moan. 

You wondered if you could orgasm from just sitting there. You would not because you did not have permission but you wondered if it was possible. Because between his hands and the feel of him inside you, you could think of nothing else. You could feel every inch of him, his dick throbbing and pulsing like a heartbeat against your walls. 

Your body squirmed in his touch, your moans as he played with your body were consistent, particularly when he brushed against your clit. He offered a featherlike touch, it was barely there but you were so worked up, you felt every jolt of pleasure through your body magnified. 

Your pussy clenched around him as if silently begging him to move. But you knew he would not allow you to until he was ready. 

He worked up a rhythm against your clit, your movements becoming more uncontrolled, your breaths heavier. You weren’t gonna last long like this.

“Whose pussy is this, Princess?” 

“Yours, daddy. Only y-yours.” 

“Who can bring you pleasure like your master?” 

“N-No one. J-just you.” 

“Never forget that shit, understand?” 

You nodded fervently. Every punishment had a lesson and this one was etched into your brain matter as now was the feeling of every vein and inch of his dick. 

“I w-won’t! I promise, daddy.” 

He pressed a soft kiss to your bare back, increasing the speed of his fingers. “Cum on my dick, Princess.” 

With permission to cum, you stopped holding back and allowed your body to feel everything. Fuck his fingers knew exactly what buttons to push as your body finally got the pleasure it needed for the last hour. The build up was so fast you barely got to enjoy it but you did not care, you needed the crash, the fall to drown in the pleasure only he could provide. And when you reached the peak, you crashed hard. 

“You like that, baby? You gon’ cum for daddy?” 

“Y-Yes… fuck… t-thank you!” you cried out as you threw your head back as an explosion of pleasure took over every inch of your body. You felt pleasure down to the very cells that made up every part of you. 

You gasped as Michael’s hand wrapped around your long hair and gripped it, pulling you backward. He turned you so his mouth could claim yours, drowning out your moans and cries with a kiss so dominating you never wanted it to end. 

“That’s my good girl,” he praised, causing your heart to soar. “You’ve earned my forgiveness. Ride.” 

You did not need to hear anything else as you started to ride him with abandon, moaning every time his head rammed into your g-spot. You’d cum again before this was over but you made it your personal mission to ensure he did too. You pulled out every trick and play you had in the book until you felt his hands dig into your hips and he started ramming into you. 

You let him take control as he fucked you like a rag doll, ignorning the ache of your bruised ass and thighs as he slammed into them with every thrust upward. He kept you flush to his chest with one hand wrapped tight around your neck, the gentleness of his choking earlier long gone. 

“Where you want it?” he demanded as you felt the signs of him about to cum. 

“Cum inside me, please!” you begged. Michael knew you had a bit of a breeding kink, loving the feeling of him filling you with his cum. That was often another punishment when he would cum on you instead of inside you. Not that him marking his territory was really a punishment. 

“Want me to fill this sweet cunt, baby??” 

“Yes! Please, please!” you begged as he fucked you so hard you felt as if you would be seeing stars for hours. 

You could not stop your body from convulsing as you felt the warmth of his cum surge inside you, you clenched around him. 

Your legs burned as you used your arms, braced on his knees to stop your upper body from toppling forward. He rubbed soothing patterns along your spine to calm you. Michael pushed you to your limit every time but he also knew how to take care of you afterward. 

He lifted you off of him, a slight whimper escaping your lips at the emptiness you suddenly felt. He only sat you down long enough to stand up himself and you were quickly back in his arms, your legs wrapped tightly around his waist as he carried you up to your master suite. 

He laid you on the bed and got some soothing lotion and started massaging it everywhere the flogger hit you. You shuddered at the cool feeling but it felt heavenly combating the stinging you still felt and soreness you knew you would still feel tomorrow. 

“You did so good for me, Princess,” he offered, your sweet Michael clearly having returned to you. 

That was all you needed to hear, that you had pleased him. 

“Thank you.” Your gratitude was muffled against the comforter of your shared bed. After a few moments of silence, you sat up and glanced back at him. “You know you’re it for me, right? Don’t have eyes for anyone else.” 

“Yea I know… sometimes I just worry…” his voice trailed off. 

You ignored the ache to shift over to him and straddle his waist, his hands resting on your hips. “You’re always reassuring me, sometimes I forget you need that too. You are the greatest thing that ever happened to me. It’s you and me till the end of the line, babe.” You teasingly peppered his face with kisses until he finally smiled and started laughing. 

“You and me, baby.” 

“But anytime you wanna get a little jealous and possessive and it leads to that? Feel free,” you joked, the scene still dominating every space in your mind. At your words, you suddenly became hyper aware of his member pressed against your core and instinctively started grinding on top of him. 

“Princess,” he growled. “This time ain’t about me,” he reminded her. Aftercare was about you and he was committed to it. 

“How much time do we have till dinner?” 

“Two hours.” 

“Enough time for you to teach me my lesson again and then take care of me. Don’t think it quite stuck,” you shrugged nonchalantly, taking on your bratty persona to rile him up. 

You shrieked as he flipped you over onto your back and stood up. Master was back and he was ready to make the most of those two hours.

***

A/N: Thanks for reading!! My requests are open if you have more asks/requests… just know that it takes me a while lol

Drop a comment and let me know what you thought :)

[henneseyhoe]

Adonis being clingy with his wife and new baby.

Adonis x BLACK!FEM!reader

WARNINGS: postpartum depression mentions, other baby related stuff

SUMMARY: Adonis trying to be as helpful as he can, but the reader finds it a bit overwhelming while dealing with postpartum depression.

✮✮✮✮

“Pacifiers?”

“Check”

“Burping cloth?”

“Check”

“Bibs?”

“Check. Babe, we have everything. I promise” I chuckle, watching Adonis go through a list of baby necessities on his phone, while trying to calm the whining boy in his arms, the man being adamant on keeping everything where they need to be just for times like this when his son was irritated.

“We have diapers right?”

“Mhm”

“What about wipes?”

“Yes, all in the nursery, Donnie”

“Okay, good, good….you need anything? Thirsty?” He tucks his phone away, rocking the now resting baby in his arms.

“Mmm…water, maybe?” I shrug and he nods, rushing out of the room. He had been acting like this all day, running around the house like a chicken with its head cut off. I hadn’t even been home for two hours yet, just coming back from the hospitals secondary check up after a very unplanned home birth. The house was a mess from two days ago, my poor mother and brother being stressed out of their minds trying to deliver a baby that wasn’t supposed to be here just yet.

Luckily, him coming two weeks earlier didn’t matter and he was healthy as a horse. with the way he was screaming at the top of his lungs, you could tell that was a healthy baby. But, meanwhile I was pushing a 5 pound, big headed baby out of me, Adonis was scrambling to find a flight back to Cali so he could make it to the birth, which was unsuccessful. It took an entire day and some change to get back home, the man so disappointed in himself that he took a business trip so late in my 3rd trimester.

Though I told him to do it, he still felt bad, promising to never leave my side in circumstances like this ever again. The birth went smoothly even though it wasn’t expected, and as soon as Adonis landed, he was blowing up my phone with FaceTimes back to back. And he was completely serious with the ‘never leave your side” thing, cause he was on me like white on rice when he got home. Helping me to and from the bathroom, even though I could walk fine, supplying me with any kind of food or snack I asked for, diaper duty, which was the best perk, and massages.

He was showering me with all kinds of love and affection, but as fast as my high came from giving birth, the lows swooped in just as quick. The 6th day after birth came and postpartum depression came knocking. I was still functioning though. Not cause I wanted to, but because I had an infant now and had no time to dissect why I really felt the way I did.

As more days passed, I became more agitated with my circumstances and Adonis constant ‘bugging’. I knew it was from a place of love, but I needed rest before anything. I was just too cautious to tell him that, afraid I’d end up sounding like a bitch because I wanted a break from my husband for a few hours. Some women would have to beg their husbands to do what Adonis does, but I felt ungrateful because I didn’t have to, and quickly got tired of that because of emotions I couldn’t control.

✮✮✮✮

About three more days had gone by, and it had officially been a month since giving birth. My postpartum depression had subsided a bit, and I felt better about myself, but Adonis was the same, and so was my sleep schedule.

“…can I help you, sir?” I look over my shoulder, spotting my husband watching me intensely. The infant I had in my arms whines and mixes at the sudden movements, unlatching from my nipple for a moment before going right back to feasting. I was reclined in a couch placed in the nursery, praying to god that I could catch some Z’s.

“Huh?” He queries, still staring.

“You’ve been following me around the house like a lost puppy all day. Now you over my shoulder watching me nurse like I don’t know what I’m doing” I say, a bit agitated since I haven’t slept for more than a few hours everyday for the passed month.

“What? I know you know what you’re doing, baby” He completely ignores my other statement, his attention still drawn to my current ‘activity’. I blink at him for a prolonged second, then laughed, shaking my head. “Okay, well back up off my bumper, can you?” I suggest, waving him off with my hand. He sighs, leaning up and walking away. “Your daddy is a bit obsessed, don’t you think?” I look down at our son, his brown eyes fluttering closed as he begins to drift off into his fourth nap of the day.

I close my eyes too, relaxing.

‘Maybe I could sneak in a nap too’

just as I thought I was gonna have peace and quiet, I feel Adonis plop down right besides me, looking over my shoulder. I was in my right mind to lock him in a room now. I sigh, opening my eyes back up to the unpleasant sight of the sun shining through the baby blue curtains across from me. I’d rather see the inside of my eyelids. I was exhausted.

“…he looks like me, doesn’t he?” He pokes, smiling down at his new found pride and joy.

I slowly turn my head to the man, his face being so close to me that our noses touch. “Donnie…get outta my face” I mellowly warn him, ready to run him out of the nursery.

“I’m sorry! I’m just intrigued. I wasn’t there for when he came, I just wanna make that time back” I bite back a loud cackle for the sake of not scaring my son out of his cinnamon toned skin. Snorting, I cover my mouth.

Giving him a ‘be serious’ look with the tilt of my head, I uncover my mouth. “Donnie, please. It’s been almost five weeks since his birth, you came a day late, and it’s not your fault. Be happy you even found a flight that would get you back here so suddenly. Plus, you already made that 24 hours back, now you just being clingy” I say, pecking his lips twice. “It’s just a bit…overwhelming right now, that’s all,”

“I’m not saying it’s you, I’m not not really in a place to…ya know…be as social with you as I was before”

He nods, understanding. “And you know I love you, but sometimes I don’t need anything at all, just silence” Taking in everything I say, he doesn’t argue, understanding that maybe he was doing a little much on the waiting hand and foot, asking me questions at every movement I made.

He caresses my thigh, kissing my forehead. “I’m sorry. I’m really not trynna stress you, I just don’t wanna feel like I’m not doin’ enough, or want you to feel like I don’t care”

I smile. “It’s okay. Just tone it down a bit, okay? Next week I promise you can be as clingy with us as you want” he nods, starting to play with the little mitten that covered our sons hand. I knew he still wasn’t gonna leave any time soon yet, waiting for the baby to stop eating so he could hold him again. I just let him be. For now.

“Does it hurt?” He asks suddenly, and I shake my head. “Not really. It did for the first few times, but since he’s latching better, no”

“…he getting enough, right?”

I pause, my eyebrow raising at the man.

“Yes, my titties produce enough milk for our son. Any other questions, doc?” I ask with playful attitude.

He shakes his head, still looking. It was silent for a moment , only the sounds of summer rain tapping against the window and swallowing followed by shallow sighs from the infant being heard. That was until I decided to put my boob up and replace my nipple with his favorite paci since he had fallen asleep, remembering the doctor told me not to feed him while he’s not awake, considering my milk supply was fine and he gets full fast.

Yet, that still doesn’t stop my husband from breathing down my neck, attempting to reach for him, which I dodge by brushing him off with my shoulder.

Taking a breath, I glare at him. “What, Adonis? You wanna feed him?”

His eyes glimmer with excitement as he smiles, perking up at the simple question. “I can? Yeah” he asks before quickly answering.

“Grow some titties then” I pat his chest then stood to my feet, now attempting to burp the resting baby.

[americahasasuperstar]

Bake ‘Em A Cake

She couldn’t believe that she had to deal with yet another nosey neighbor. She had just got used to Bianca blasting music at all times of the night without a care in the world, and it was like God wanted to give her yet another challenge to deal with.

Bianca told her that the new neighbor they had came to her and told her to turn her music down. From the seems of it, he seemed to have enough sense to not be disruptive to the people in their small, very thin wall having, apartment building. She was wrong though. She could hear thump after thump above her as she tried to get some sleep for her next shift in 8 hours.

“Hello!”

She didn’t care if she was being a bitch by banging so loudly on his door when she could’ve easily been a normal person and knocked regularly. She kept pounding as hard as she could until the door finally open, and revealed something she did not expect. Her eyes widened slightly as she looked up and down at the man in front of her that was sweaty and shirtless and fine as fuck. She could’ve sworn she felt her heart skip a few beats but she quickly composed herself when she realized what had made her get out of the comfort of her bed and make her way to the floor above her.

“Can I help you?” He asked her. A bit of an attitude she heard. Fuck did he have an attitude for?

Nyla scoffed as she pushed past him, walking into his very empty apartment. “Your loud ass thumping ass footsteps are keeping me awake.” She told him, tossing him a mean look over her shoulder.

“Come on in I guess.” He muttered.

Nyla looked around the apartment, only seeing a couch and a small tv. No pictures. No decorations. No accent furniture. God, it lacked so much furniture that it made Nyla want to puke. She turned around to look at the man, looking him to and down which allowed her to realize that the apartment did fit him. He didn’t seem like the type to go all out. Still made it an ugly apartment though. Or maybe she was just judging too much.

“This isn’t what people mean by minimalism, just so you know.” She stated, taking it upon herself to sit down on the couch.

He closed the door behind her, walking over to her on the couch. “Can I help you with something?” He wondered. He didn’t seem to mind that much that a complete stranger had walked into his home without a care in the world.

“I don’t know if you’re tap dancing, or doing the cha-cha slide, or just being a dickhead up here… but you’re being loud.” Nyla told him.

“Oh my fault, I didn’t realize.” He said.

“Yeah, everything’s thin in this apartment. Including my patience.” Nyla snarked, standing up from the couch.

He stared at her as she stared right back at him. Though, their stares seemed to be holding two different emotions. Hers being one of irritation and anger while his was more of… a lust filled stare. Then she realized why he had that stare as he looked at her. Nyla looked down in

horror when she realized that she had come up to this strange man’s apartment with nothing covering her upper body but a tight tank top that really did her boobs a favor. Like damn, they really looked good if she did say so herself. But that wasn’t the point. Nyla crossed her arms as she took a step forward.

“I’m Donnie.”

“Your real name?” Nyla scoffed.

“Donnie ain’t real enough for you?” He asked.

Nyla sighed as she stared at her nails out of boredom. “Donovan? Donald? Stop me when I’m getting closer.” She said.

“Adonis.”

“Way cuter than anything I said.” Nyla hummed. “I’m Nyla Gaines; your very generous neighbor.” She said.

“Generous?” Adonis asked, raising an eyebrow as he chuckled.

“I’m not cursing your ass out for waking me up. Twice. Take that as nothing but generosity.” Nyla told him.

“I’m grateful for it.” Adonis said.

“Wise choice.”

Nyla brushed past him, making eye contact the entire time, as she walked towards the door, stopping when he touched her arm. “You right below me?”

“Apartment B7. Which is exactly why I could hear your footsteps jumping around.” She told him

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Adonis nodded.

“Mhm. See you around Adonis.” Nyla said. “Welcome to Philly by the way.”

“How you know I’m not from here?” Adonis asked her.

Nyla snorted as she opened the door, giving him a look over her shoulder as she said, “I know everything boo.”

┊┊┊✧ ⁺ ⁺ 　°

“I was so mean last night, Bi. I don’t like myself when I’m tired.” Nyla said, shaking her head in disbelief.

Nyla had a mini self crisis as she stood in her best friend, Bianca’s, apartment. She had woken up, fully rested after Adonis listened to what she had told him, and felt bad for the way that she handled his nosiness. She didn’t like being mean. It made her feel all… icky. So as a way to apologize for being an asshole, she had rushed to make Adonis a cake so he could have something to eat for the next few nights. Because he surely didn’t have much besides cereal in that wack ass apartment— totally not her judging though.

“He woke you up twice and you had work. If anything, I’m sure you weren’t mean enough.” Bianca scoffed.

“I know, I know, but still, I feel bad. Being a bitch isn’t the best first impression.” Nyla stated, carefully scraping the excess icing off of the cake.

Bianca looked at her friend as she walked into the kitchen, amusement written all over her face. “So… you’re made him a cake?” She asked.

“Duh ho!” Nyla said. “You think he’s home?” She wondered.

“He ain’t got no life from what I can tell. Just to the gym and back.” Bianca shrugged.

“Great!” Nyla chirped. “Cause it’s done and I need to have him like me immediately.”

“Why do you even care?”

“Everyone in this building likes me, and I can’t risk losing that achievement.” Nyla said as if it was obvious.

“You worry too much, girl.” Bianca chuckled.

“And you don’t worry enough.” Nyla remarked. “Now wish me luck.”

“Wear a condom.” Bianca said, waving her hand dismissively as she walked back to her piano.

Nyla snorted as she scooped up the cake pan in her hands, shaking her head in amusement. “Oh my God, you’re sick in the head.”

Nyla walked out of Bianca’s apartment, heading up to the floor that Adonis lived on. She really did hope he was home. It would be a waste of her time if he wasn’t, and she hated wasting her time. Thankfully though, when she knocked on his door— very gently compared to how she did the night before— he opened it almost instantly. Clearly he wasn’t doing nothing much with his time. Not that she was judging him for not having a job or anything. Totally not.

“Adonis.”

Adonis smirked as he took in Nyla’s appearance. He didn’t expect to see her at his apartment door again, especially if he wasn’t making any noise, but he wasn’t upset by the pleasant surprise. She looked good. Extremely good. Better than she did when he first saw her. She looked way more put together in the middle of the day than she did at 1 am. He would’ve been fine admiring her forever, like he was planing to, if she didn’t clear her throat to get his attention saying. He smacked himself mentally when he realized that he was staring, realizing that he probably seemed like some creepy ass dude.

“Nyla Gaines.” Adonis said, nodding at her.

A sort of her felt special that he remembered her last name as well, but then again, it was only last night. “About last night—“

“You cool,” Adonis said. She could see a ghost of a smile creeping onto his face as he looked at her cake. “That for me?” He asked her.

“Hope you like chocolate.” Nyla grinned, holding it out for him to take.

“Who don’t like chocolate?” Adonis scoffed.

Nyla snorted as he took the pan from her. “I knew I liked something you.” She smirked.

She turned around, prepared to head back to her apartment now that she apologized for her wrongs. But his voice stopped her before she could even take a step.

“Where you think you going?” He asked her, beckoning her over to him when she turned to look at him. “Come on in.”

[nareyacute101]

Boyfriends Best Friend PT.1 ~ E&D

This is a fanfic I wrote a while ago so I’m just posting it and I hope y’all enjoy 😭

———————————————————————

Y/N POV

I was at home with my boyfriend of 3 years almost 4 next month, Donnie. We met in high school in the beginning of high school and started dating in the 10th grade. I thought he was really hot and sweet when I started talking to him. But, we were waiting for Erik to just hang out as friends , me and Erik are friends , I met Erik through Donnie because they have be friends since elementary so for a while, so Donnie walked downstairs since he was upstairs and I was downstairs eating food, "Babe, I'm going to the store to get snacks so if Erik comes , just let him in." Donnie said going to the kitchen " okay babe, I will." I said and Donnie came around to give you a short passionate kiss and left the house.

After he left, you went to put on comfortable clothes on and went back downstairs, trying to find a movie to watch and 5 minutes later, you heard the doorbell ring. You got up to open the door and knew it was Erik so you swung the door open and their revealed Erik. Now, when you first met him you thought he was cute or whatever but a year later and some, he got hotter and whew Chile, anyways, Erik was smiling and said " hey y/n" with his deep voice that was so sexy. "Hey Erik" you said as you hugged his torse and he wrapped his arms around your waist. "Come on in and by the way, Donnie went to by some sna-" you got cut off by Erik kissing you deeply and rough, you thought about pushing back but you kissed him back and a few seconds later, you pulled away.

"What was that for Erik?" You asked as you looked at his dark brown eyes deeply. " Y/N, I've always wanted to do that since we met through Donnie and your just so beautiful, smart and a intelligent women and I've always wanted you but never got a change because Donnie got you before me and now is my chance." Erik said then looking down and he truly meant that and I know it so I'm like f*ck it , I feel bad for him but then I'm going to feel bad for Donnie because I've been with him the longest but I'm going to give Erik a change to have me for now.

I started to kiss him again and then it got heated into a makeout session " Jump" Erik said seductively in my ear and I jumped into his arms and walked up the stairs and he was so strong carrying me and Donnie's shared bedroom, but, he threw me on the bed and hovered over me to connect our lips again.

"Strip" Erik said while standing up off the bed so you got up and took off your pajamas shirt and shorts leaving you in your laces bra and panties. Erik was already undressed and only in his briefs.

He was staring at you up and down and then said "Damn, my best friends girlfriend looking fine naked" ( omg 😭 okay keep reading ) Erik says so sexy and his body is so hot with those scars and those biceps (🥵). He pushed me on the bed and went down between my legs and looked up at me for permission , I nodded and he took off my lace panties " Damn" Erik whispered but you heard it so you smirked in your mouth( if that makes sense) and he just starting eating you out and I felt like I was in heaven on how is tongue was working my clit and his plump soft lips around my p*ssy " OH MY GOD ERIK FUCK" I yelled that anyone who was in the house can hear " I'm gonna cum Erik , fuckkkk" I said and then came.

"Now it's my turn princess" Erik said. So I got off the bed as Erik goes to lay on his back on the bed.

I crawl on the bed to meet his face and kiss him, then kiss my way down to his growing budge. I start to tease him by only putting my mouth on the tip, "stop teasing me Y/N" said Erik but I stopped teasing him after a couple of minutes then put him in my mouth.

————————————————————————

"Ughhhh yes Erikkkkkkk" said Y/N moanly loudly, "Fuck" Erik grunted while blowing my back out (omg😳) after a while I hear my phone ringing, "Pick it up" Erik said while his thrust going faster "I can't d—ooo that's fuck but okay" Y/N said while picking up the phone and answering Donnie "Hey babe"Y/N said while breathing heavily, "Hey baby so was there any particular snacks you wanted while I'm here?" Donnie said while looking through the aisles. Y/N looked back at Erik to slow down but Erik kept going "Hello?" Donnie said over phone not hearing his girlfriend speak, "Sorry I was looking for something but um yeah some—Takis chips and Oreo's please" Y/N said then whispered "fuck" after she said that because she was getting pleasured by Donnie's best friend. "Okay we'll see you when I come home, I love you" Donnie said over the phone. "Love you too babe" Y/N said then hung up and screamed "SHITT, This feels so fucking good Erik". "It's does huh princess?" Erik said then grunted. "Yes daddy" Y/N whined

"I'm home!!" Donnie yelled throughout the whole house.

TBC...

[imperfectlyxangelic]

The lack of Michael, Erik and/or Adonis V-Day fanfics…

[punishereditz]

Request

Request are closed ATM.

I write:

Jake 'Hangman' Seresin

Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw

Natasha 'Phoenix' Trace

Frank Castle

Din Djarin

Adonis Creed

Dean Winchester

Jack Reacher

La Knight

Pedro Pascal

And I will also write any Marvel, Top Gun, Star Wars, and wwe characters that you would like for me to write about! (And will include music with my stories.)

[melodichaeuxx-lacritquexx]

Lowkey wanna do my own writing challenge 👀…

[starcrossedxwriter]

Wicked Fantasies Part 11.2 (MBJ x Black OC)

A/N: Long awaited and well over due. This is basically chapter 12 but it really connects to 11.1. Nothing to say except enjoy!

“Michael, stop messing with the fuckin’ cuff links!” Alex called over to him from her spot on the couch. “I thought you weren’t nervous??” 

Michael cut his eyes toward his agent before forcing his fingers away from the gold cufflinks near his wrist. That had been his original claim when he arrived at his suite to get ready, proudly boosting that he did not feel nervous at all. And some part of him had believed that was true. But as makeup ended and he got dressed, the nerves started to settle in. Tonight was no longer some distant potential achievement. It was here and now. And his shoulders were starting to feel the weight of that pressure. He tried his best to remain excited and upbeat but there were some ticks he simply couldn’t hide. 

“Ha ha. I’m just… you know, already ready for it to be over. Gotta sit through 100 fuckin’ awards before they get to mine. Just gonna be a long night.” 

“Whatever you say,” she muttered, her face scrunching up at her phone for a minute. 

“Somethin’ wrong?” his antenna going up immediately, anxiety that something had already gone wrong seeping into his confident facade. “Fuck… You think we should’ve gone with the other suit, don’t you??” 

“Nigga… they’re both black tuxes, calm down. No one’s ever looked at you to be the pillar of fashion. You look great, that’s all that matters. Just taking care of some last minute details, boring shit you wouldn’t be interested in.” 

Michael knew not to press any farther as she immediately changed the subject, standing up and starting to walk over to him. He watched as she studied the time on her phone screen for a moment as his stylist’s assistant slid on the tailored jacket for his suite.

“Can someone check on his mom? Jason went to check out the space and it’s ready for photos. We gotta start in 10 though if we want to make it to the carpet.” 

“I’ll go.” 

He was thankful his mom agreed to accompany him on such a momentous occasion, she was the only date he could fathom taking as the woman he wanted was unavailable. 

Raven. 

Some fantasy that she would call or text him good luck drove him to check his phone every 20 minutes or so, praying for anything that signaled that she thought of him as he did her. She tortured his every waking thought, even after agreeing to give her the space she desperately wanted and needed. But his soul did not want space, his soul wanted their better half, the person who made all of this worth something. 

He shook his head for a moment and forced her to the back of his brain, where he knew she would only stay for a short while. No more than 10 minutes would go by before someone or something reminded him of her. But when he thought of her too long, the sparse stitches holding those wounds together tore open and blood flowed earnestly from them. And such emotional agony would not stand on the biggest night of his career. So he forced a smile onto his face and thoughts of a love he would likely never have again behind the barriers around his heart and knocked on the door to his mother’s room. 

However, he was not prepared to find her still clad in the lounging set Raven and he had bought her for Christmas, completely unprepared to attend the biggest night in Hollywood. 

“Ma, what’s wrong? We gotta leave soon. Why aren’t you dressed?” 

“Well I didn’t want to worry you while you were getting ready but I’m just not feeling well. I don’t think I can make it all evening. I’m sorry, baby.” 

Michael’s face fell ever so slightly at the disappointment, though he tried his hardest to hide it. It was not his mother’s fault that she was not feeling well and even he knew the rest of the day would be tiresome and exhausting for even those in good spirits. So he did not want her trying to suffer through on his account. However, he would not pretend that it did not sting, to know that he would not have anyone there to support him, hold his hand. That he would spend tonight… completely alone. 

Her renewed apologies made him fix his face immediately, knowing that she likely already felt badly for canceling on him. He had no interest in making her feel any worse. 

“I really am sorry, baby. But I wasn’t the date you wanted to take anyway,” she chuckled, her eyes filled with sympathy. 

Those makeshift barriers dissolved into nothing stronger than paper at her words. And as flimsy as they originally were, they were all he had to hold onto to get through tonight. 

“Don’t apologize, ma. Really no big deal at all. You should rest. And you know you’re always my favorite date. Besides, your love is the reason I’m here. You’ll always be my #1,” he leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. When her eyes, unsurprisingly, filled with tears, Michael chuckled a bit. “Don’t cry on me. Alex will kill me for messin’ up this makeup.”  

She took a tissue and whisked away the pools of tears in her eyes before adjusting his bowtie.

“You know how proud I am of you? How lucky I am to be your mom? I thank God for you, your sister, and your brother every day. And all I’ve ever wanted for each of you is to live out your dreams and be happy. No matter what you do or who you’re with. Just that. Tonight you’re seeing God’s manifestation of your dreams and win or lose, I couldn’t be prouder of you. But even I know, only one person could make you truly happy tonight. That facade might fool the world but not me. I saw how happy she made you, Bakari. How she turned my scared little boy into a brave and vulnerable man without even trying. I may have gotten you here but her love and adoration and the love you have for her will keep you here. Will help you reach dreams I couldn’t even comprehend for you. And that’s a woman I’ll happily step into the #2 spot for any day.”

“Thanks ma… but I don’t think she wants that spot anymore… wants me anymore. Hell, I don’t even know where she is in the world.” The resigned smile on his face and the humorless laugh could not hide the depths of his sadness as he recalled the message he received from David letting him know that Raven boarded a flight to only God knows where. He had failed and even tonight could not take his mind off the 101 ways he failed the love of his life. “I screwed up. Gotta accept the consequences. I wanna be the man you raised and the man she thought she fell in love with. Even if I don’t get to be that for her.” 

“Give it time, Bakari. You know what I always reminded you three. Everything meant for you will come to you or find its way back to you. God never denies what he ordained as yours, sweetheart. Something to remember for more than one reason tonight.”

There was a certain mischievous glint in her eyes that did not match the typical motherly tone in her voice. “More than one reason” stuck out in his brain. 

What the fuck does that even mean? 

“What do you me-?” he started to ask when his mother cut him off. 

“Oh gosh, you know I didn’t even notice the time? You should go, dear. Don’t wanna get in trouble with that Alex, do we?” 

Realizing that it was almost showtime forced his confusion right out of his brain as he forced himself to focus on the moment, his moment. 

“Nah we don’t. She’s terrifyin’,” he admitted. “How about you lay down and rest for a while and Allen can take you home when you feel better? Or you can enjoy the suite for the night? Totally up to you.” 

“Thank you, baby. I’ll hang out here, let the traffic clear a bit then head to your sister’s. Everyone’s watching there. You look amazing. Can’t wait to see you shine tonight ” 

“Thanks, ma. Aight, I should head down to take pictures. Love you.”  

He squeezed her hand before she turned around and closed the door of her room behind her.  

He walked back to where his team was waiting. The lack of noise and hustle and bustle in the space caught him off guard as he expected to return to the same chaotic space with his team racing around him. However, only Alex stood waiting on him. 

“Where’d everybody go?” 

“Oh I sent them all downstairs. Figured you wouldn’t mind a couple minutes of peace before the longest night of your life.”  

And that was why, of everyone on his team, Alex was one of the few that stood the test of time. She knew him, truly knew him and what he needed. 

“Thanks.” He paused as he studied her. “You good?” 

Alex had been in the wings of every major career moment in Michael’s life and she typically brought an air of assurance and confidence that put Michael at ease. She was a staple calming force that kept his own anxiety in check. However, tonight? Everything about her seemed off, distracted and anxious in a way that made his empath sensors go haywire. She seemed utterly engrossed in her own phone, which was not unlike Alex but typically she cued Michael in, if nothing else. But tonight, she offered him no insight.  

“Yea… just a big night. Want to make sure everything’s perfect,” she muttered. “Come on… Jason says they’re ready for us.” 

Michael did not need to be the smartest person in the room to immediately recognize that she was hiding something from him. He knew he would never get it out of her as she was the world’s most secure vault for secrets. And there was a part of him that did not even want to know for fear that it would scare him into skipping the night altogether. What if she already found out that he lost? If anyone in his orbit was part of some dark Hollywood back channel, Alex would be it. Or something happened to Raven and she did not want him to lose his shit right before the event. Because they both knew he would drop all of this in a heartbeat for her. Foolish? Perhaps but that was how he knew he had found true love, his soul mate. Because nothing in this life was as important as her and he would drop all of it to rush to her side if she asked. But she would never ask, because she did not consider herself worthy of sacrifices, which only served as fuel to spend everyday proving to her that she was.

Why did he even try not to think of her? Somehow, every thought was merely the first step down a path that led right to Raven’s doorstep. 

He trailed slightly behind Alex as she led him to the elevator. However, before she hit the button, she stopped. 

“Oh shoot. I need to stop by my suite. Forgot somethin. It’s just down the hall, it’ll take two minutes. Got a gift for you for your big night. A little good luck charm.” 

“Alex, you know you didn’t need to get me shit.” And he truly meant that. He was just grateful to have Alex in his corner, her presence and commitment to his career was a gift in and of itself. “And send me the bill for your suite. Would’ve just gotten it for you.”

“Nah, it’s all good. It was last minute and I only got it for convenience, really.” She used her key to open the door and held it open so Michael could walk inside. 

However, as she opened the door, her usual resting bitch face (Alex’s words, not his) turned into a bright grin, one that she clearly tried desperately to minimize but couldn’t. And while Michael had expected flowers or a gift basket or even a bottle of his favorite rum, now he wondered if the gift was something far bigger than that. What he did not expect, when he turned the corner into her suite’s sitting area, was to find Raven awkwardly fidgeting with her gown as Jason made last-minute adjustments. 

“Wha…” His words died in his throat as she turned to face him, his stride stumbling backward in shock as he drank her in. 

He could have stood there and stared at her for the rest of the night and it would not have been enough time. Several lifetimes filled with millions of minutes and seconds would hardly scratch the surface of how much time he needed to simply consume her presence, to refill the parts of his soul that had depleted without her. 

Beautiful was a gross understatement for her. She was stunning, a goddess plucked from the heavens and placed among lesser men. Michael did not think he had ever laid eyes on a more radiant human being. But it was not her stunning beauty that caused tears to spring to his eyes. It was the look of renewed hope in hers, the smallest flame reignited after it had been utterly extinguished the last time he laid eyes on her. And fuck, that could’ve ended him right then and there. To see hope and light in her again, to see the Raven he had fallen so deeply for, she was all consuming. 

She had not even said a word yet but the impact of her choice to be there, to show up for him and choose him after everything conveyed a love words would not be sufficient enough to. The silence stretched on as he studied all the things that had made him fall in love. The soft expectant smile painted on her face as she stared at him that only solidified that she was willing and ready to rebuild with him. The anxious way her eyes glanced down at her own dress and her hands fidgeted that told him she was searching for his confirmation that he still wanted her here or that she looked beautiful, that reminded him of her awkwardness and endless humility that made him fall in love with her in the first place. The way her eyes, the most expressive aspect of her, somehow told him everything he needed to know without uttering a word. 

“I-I hope this is ok?” she asked quietly as she broke the silence and expectant tension that blanketed Alex’s suite, snapping Michael out of his speechless trance. “Admittedly, I only gave Alex and Jason like 24 hours notice. So our options were kind of limited b-but they said it would compliment yours a-and likely get me on a best dressed list, which d-doesn’t really matter but could be nice? I dunno though… think I’ve had enough publicity for a lifetime,” she laughed anxiously. “But I don’t know what’s appropriate to wear to the Oscars with the 2023 Best Actor and they do. But I know this probably isn’t what you envisioned when you invited me in January. But don’t blame them. It’s definitely my fault. Lost weight so my measurements weren’t quite right and the time thing. Honestly, give them a raise… well I can’t tell you what to do with your money. But you should…” she glanced over Michael’s shoulder at Alex who was staring at her with a look that simply said, ‘speed the reunion up, sis.’ So Raven cut herself off, her last rambling words falling off. “Consider it…” 

“You… you came?” 

“I heard you needed a date?” 

Michael rarely experienced true speechlessness, the right words rarely eluded him. He usually always knew what to say. His brain was on the verge of explosion with all the things he desperately wanted to say, his deepest proclamations of regret and love sat on his tongue but he just did not know where to start, could not find the place to start.

Meanwhile, Raven had an entire soliloquy of how she was ready to forgive and move forward because she loved him planned out in her mind. But every painstakingly chosen word evaporated from her mind as she looked at him, as she stared at the man her soul had come to recognize as her safest place to be. The one place that did not demand she provide her most perfect words or anything from her at all. It simply demanded, insisted, that she just be.

And now, the words that sprung to her mind were not perfect at all. They were raw, they were broken… they were her vulnerabilities, her fear, her pain, and they were her hope. Her wildest fantasies and her dreams. And she was no longer afraid to express them loudly here. Because he was the one place where she could. 

“You remember when I woke up in the hospital and the first thing I said to you was apologizing for not being the girl you wanted? For not being good enough? A-and you told me not to compare myself to h-her… or anyone else. B-”

“Because you’re one of a kind,” Michael finished simply.

“That was one of the nicest things a man… anyone had said to me in so long,” she admitted, her head bowing slightly. “And I didn’t believe it. I wanted to be loved by you so badly, Michael. B-But I couldn’t believe a man like you would ever think I was enough because I wasn’t enough for anyone. I wasn’t right for anyone. A-And I had internalized this narrative that I didn’t deserve love o-or to be happy. That I just deserved some second-rate, half life filled with disregard and pain because other people told me so. A-And when we s-started dating, I finally started to believe that all that hope had been worth something? That maybe I deserved something… better? A-And w-when I saw her, my heart immediately felt like… you were finally admitting it. I wasn’t enough for you either.”

Every punch and injury he sustained playing Adonis Creed paled in comparison to that. He did not know if it was possible to feel worse about what he had done.

“Rae… baby, you gotta know that-“ 

She held up her hand to stop him, Michael immediately falling silent. 

“I know… at the time though? It felt like God confirming everything everyone w-who knew me ever said, t-the fuel for that voice in my head that told me I would never b-be enough, w-was right. And all the ways you showed me I was enough, all the ways you showed up for me… didn’t seem real anymore. And that broke me. So I left, gave you the out I thought everyone who knew me wanted. T-this nuisance out of their lives. But you… you didn’t leave.”

Michael could hear the pure perplexity in her voice, as if the competing voices in her head could not square why he kept reaching out, kept showing up even as she pushed him away. 

“Because I love you.”

“Because you love me.” Raven repeated it but Michael could hear it, the recognition that his words were the truth.

“I… um. I don’t believe I deserve you,” Raven said simply. “But for the first time, I know that I want more than whatever life in the shadows I thought I had to have. I know that I don’t want to push away love a-and happiness anymore. A-and I don’t want to push you away anymore. B-Because you are love, safety, comfort… happiness. I want to believe I deserve better? I want… to believe I deserve you. Because when I’m with you…” 

Raven let out a shaky exhale that felt like her body starting to expel all those tormenting thoughts she internalized as she finally admitted out loud that this love was everything she always wanted. 

“When I’m with you, all I feel is joy. A joy so pure that only something hand crafted by God himself could feel so good. You’re every fantasy I dreamed of but never thought I could have. Since the moment I fell off that damn table like a clumsy fucking idiot, you’ve been my safest place, you’ve been home, and you’ve been one of the few people in my life who’ve loved me unapologetically and loudly.” 

She finally closed the space between them, putting herself within arm’s length of him. 

“And I owe you an apology for… letting my exhaustion and pent up pain blind me to all the ways you’ve loved me loudly since the day we met. Regardless of how tired a-and exhausted I am from falling and crashing into the rocks, you were always worth climbing back up that mountain. You were always worth a second chance. And I should’ve recognized that far earlier.”

A pressure valve Michael did not even know had formed in his body released at her words. It felt like being able to take a deep breath again.

“So I’m here and I’m still hurt a-and exhausted but I’m ready to do something different, ready to run toward the cliff and take the leap and fall again. And I want to do that with you… If I’m not too late?” 

Michael did not even command his legs to move as her confirmation hit his ears. Before either of them could utter another word, she was in his arms. A sweet giggle erupted as he pulled her unexpectedly toward him and crashed his lips against hers. And the peace that brought was unparalleled. 

Raven could have melted against him, her soul at ease for the first time in too long as he held her tightly. 

The rest of their small audience melted away as their hearts and souls sought to reclaim their other half, their kiss spelling out every ache and pain their brief separation caused. His lips felt so familiar, so much like home, that it almost hurt. Every second in his arms felt as if it mended the fissures of Raven’s heart one by one, stitching her back together intentionally and with such care that it made her want to sob. 

Her own foolishness baffled her. How could she have denied herself this? This ethereal, otherworldly type of love. She would never find something comparable with another living soul. Because this insanely perfect man in front of her was it for her. She had never had a real family but in his arms, she could see one and it was everything she had ever dreamed for herself. The emotions of finally accepting, even in objective disbelief, his love for her hit her in waves that gently crashed over her one by one. But she was not overwhelmed like before, drowning beneath them as she fought for air. 

This was serenity, gentle waves blanketing her in warmth and care. Such care that it was painful to pull away to catch her own breath. 

Was breathing really a necessity right now?? She demanded of herself as his touch set off heat and flames of desire as he touched her. Weeks and weeks of deprivation meant she needed this more than she could describe, needed the physical representation of his love. His touch, his kiss, his devotion to her needs.  

She did not even look away from him but her next words were for the pair awkwardly lingering in the room, long forgotten.  

“We need 10 minutes.” 

Alex groaned, breaking the sexual tension in the room with her annoyance, though she acquiesced far faster than Raven expected. Though she suspected his longtime agent could see a losing battle from a mile away. 

“Fine but you really only get 10 minutes. Fuckin’ Oscars not a goddamn industry party. Can’t just roll in whenever we feel like it. And I swear to God… if you fuck on my bed or fuck up your outfits and make up, I’ll spend the rest of my life breaking you two up again.” 

And with that, she grabbed Jason by his sleeve and marched out of the suite, leaving the two of them alone. Raven did not even wait for the click of the door to launch herself back into his arms, her fingers working faster than her mind could direct to undress him. 

If anyone could see them, she imagined their movements were feral, so frenzied with their carnal instincts that it looked purely chaotic. Raven’s dress was in a crumble at her feet, his suit jacket was somewhere Raven could not even see. Her fingers rushed to undo the buttons of his shirt before abandoning the task for his pants. 

“Fuck, why are there so many buttons??” She came up for air long enough to moan in frustration as Alex’s warning rang out in her head. 

Only ten minutes. How was that enough time? That was not even a fraction of the time she required to do all the things her brain demanded she do to feel all of him and ensure he felt all of her too. 

“Fuck I missed you,” he uttered between kisses as he tried to take her incredibly tight but effective spanx off. 

She prayed Alex’s threat was a joke because she did not need a mirror to know her makeup would indeed need more than a light retouch. His kisses were unyielding, sloppy and utterly unrestrained. Their need for each other simply fed off the others and she knew neither would be satiated in ten minutes.

We need to stop, she thought. It was the biggest night of his career. She should stop so he could focus on that, right? 

But she couldn’t, didn’t want to. 

“I need you,” she whimpered, her desire to be filled far louder than the time clock in her head. 

And her voice was so needy that Michael, whose self-control was hanging by a thread, almost gave in. 

The only thing that gave him the strength to stop them before neither of them would be able to stop was the knowledge that she deserved more than a 10-minute quickie. She deserved to be devoured with every ounce of his being devoted to and focused on her. No interruptions, no distractions. She was a goddess to be worshiped with every stroke in her heat and that was not a process that could be rushed.  

“Baby, baby, baby,” he gently cradled her neck, forcing her to slow down and look at him. His resolve was tested at the lust in her eyes, how her entire body was suddenly flushed with heat. “Fuck…” the words were agony to push out but necessary. “I want you so bad. But not like this.” 

Raven, still a work in progress, could not stop the immediate intrusive thought that he did not want her, that she had misread everything. Michael could see it, how her eyes flashed with that fear and insecurity. He would never not want her, he would happily remind her of that every day if necessary. But he knew himself too well. Once he found himself trapped inside her, he would not be able to stop himself. And he wanted to take his time. 

“It’s not you. It’s never you,” he brushed her hair behind her ear. “I just… I want more for this than a 10-minute quickie in a hotel room that isn’t even ours. You deserve more.” 

Her heart swelled at his words, realizing that he was not even thinking about the clock. He was merely thinking about her. That forced her to calm down a bit, her lust still red hot and flowing but the logical part of her brain was taking control again. 

The slight pout on her face made him chuckle and pull her in for another kiss. It was deeper and more sensual, a quiet plea to trust that he would always give her what she needed. Even if not in the exact timing her body desired it. 

“Every moment with you counts and I’m not lettin’ anymore pass that I don’t treat you like you deserve. Trust me, I’ll give you what you need, baby girl. It’ll be worth the wait.” 

Raven knew he was right. Despite the persistent ache in her core, she knew she could wait for what he planned. It would be far better than a rushed reunion on a couch anyway.

“I trust you. Just make sure your team knows to clear your very packed schedule for the next couple days,” she teased as she stole one last kiss before she tried to put some distance between them. Her body still wanted him desperately and while she trusted him, she was not sure she trusted herself. 

But Michael merely pulled her back in and held onto her tighter. 

“Oh the world ain’t gon’ see me or you for more than a couple days. I’m all yours.” He winked at her before helping her get her dress back on and his own suit back on. Once he opened the door to let Alex back in, both of them looked exactly as the two had left them, not a hair out of place. Save Raven’s lipstick, which was completely gone. 

“Damn… three minutes? Knew you couldn’t be worth the hype,” Alex immediately said as she breezed back into the suite, utterly unbothered by the idea that the two might have fucked just moments prior. 

“You always got jokes.” 

Alex immediately fired off last-minute directions to the makeup team to fix Raven’s before they prepared for photos and to leave.  Though Raven had endured the tedious process of getting ready for awards and premieres  before, today was the most hectic yet. But she was not panicked because she stuck close to Michael, who was the picture of ease and calm. He was the eye of this hurricane, the small world that was him purely at ease even when he should not be. 

“You nervous?” she asked as the photographer directed her to perch on Michael’s knee before going to switch out the lens on his camera.  

He offered her the most sincere smile, his eyes glimmering with all the love and adoration he felt toward her. 

“Nah. Why would I be? I already got the most important thing I needed today. Tonight’ll just be a cherry on top.” 

***

Raven was beginning to wonder if her return had turned Michael’s hands into magnets. He barely let her go since they walked out of Alex’s suite. She could not help but laugh when Michael only allowed the photographer two minutes of individual photos before he pulled Raven back into his arms. It was not as if she minded one bit, she had so missed this, missed his touch. It was addicting. 

“You stare at me any harder, I’m gonna combust,” she joked as they sat in the back of his limo, Raven leaning into his side as she had done so many times before. . 

“My bad, my bad. I’m just fuckin’ shocked you’re here.” He weaved his fingers among hers, bringing her hand into his lips. “You know I’m gonna spend everyday making all this shit up to you, right?” 

“I know and I also know it’s unnecessary. I won’t lie, I’m still hurt and confused by what happened. But I know we can fix it. I don’t need you to feel guilty for the rest of our relationship either.”  

“The rest of our lives,” he softly corrected with a playful shove to her shoulder that made her giggle. Fuck he missed that sound, missed her smile.

“The rest of our lives,” she repeated. “I just need you to love me. That’s it.” 

“That’s a given, baby girl.” 

She leaned over and pecked him softly on the lips before settling back in his arms. 

“So… Can I read your speech?” she asked sweetly, knowing there was a terribly crumbled piece of paper stuffed into his jacket pocket. 

“Nope.” 

Raven immediately pouted, putting on the playful sad puppy eyes that always got to him. 

“Those ain’t gon’ work today, baby. But only cause I can’t show you a speech I don’t have.” 

Raven’s eyebrows creased in confusion, immediately assuming that his lack of a prepared speech meant he did not think he would win. How could he think such a thing? 

“Michael… You know you’re gonna win. And you’ve scripted all the others. Why didn’t you write one for tonight? I can jot you something down real quick?” she immediately started to look around as if her cell-phone-sized clutch was big enough to secretly contain a pen and paper. “Allen!” She leaned toward the front. “Do you have any paper? Spare receipt?” 

“Baby, BABY!” Michael called, gripping her hips to guide her back to her seat and calm her panic. “I didn’t say I didn’t write one,” he clarified. “I said I don’t have it. I just realized that… the scripted speeches are not what I want tonight. Need a different direction. So I gave the speech to Alex before we left.” 

Though Raven could guess the reason for a sudden need for a new direction in the 11th hour. But she still found herself asking anyway. “Any reason for this different direction?” 

“Just think I should speak from the heart if I win, you know? Like I did in that interview. If I get to go on that stage tonight, wanna do it as the man I’ve become. Dunno if I have your way with words, though. Not nervous about losing but I’m nervous about fuckin’ up up there, not sayin’ the right thing, you know? Or everyone hating it?” 

Raven’s eyes softened a bit, always appreciating this vulnerable side of him. She knew how difficult and painful it had been to reveal that side to her and to the world. But she knew he was better for it. 

“You don’t need my way with words, baby. You just need yours and yours is poetic, it’s kind a-and loving and true. That isn’t a new direction o-or a new man, Michael. It’s just you. Every moment I’ve known you, that’s just you. You just let me see it and I’m so grateful for it. And you’ve let the world see glimpses of it in the last few months a-and if the response is any indication, the world is grateful too. You’re not nervous about saying the wrong thing. Going out there without the armor you’ve built to protect yourself is just scary. But it’s worth it. You taught me that. Don’t think about the right or wrong words. Just what you want to say about this moment. Whatever words you have will be right.” 

“Feel like you got more poetic on me since January.” 

Raven chuckled and shook her head. “Still only minimally poetic… and I can’t take credit for that one.” But she stopped herself before she said more. Now did not feel like the best moment to drop emotional bombs. 

“We’re here, Mr. Jordan. About three cars in front of us,” Allen called out from the front seat. 

He glanced at Raven, her eyes suddenly swimming with panic that he could tell she desperately wanted to swallow. He could almost see the realization hit her like a wall. She was about to walk out into the public eye for the first time in months at Hollywood’s most significant night of the year. And Michaell had been so elated to have her back that he had not considered how emotionally overwhelming that had to be. 

Raven was determined to hide it as best and long as she could. Tonight was all about Michael and his career. And she had accepted being in the public eye when she decided to go back to him. She knew it would be difficult but he was worth it. They were worth the sacrifice. But her brain assaulted her with every possible name she would be called, the headlines that would materialize tomorrow. And all of that would reflect poorly on him. What if she ruined his life… again?

“Hey, hey, Rae. Baby girl. Look at me,” his hands gently framed her face to force her eyes to him. “Don’t worry about them. It’s just you and me, aight? Tonight’s ours. The first night of the rest of our lives, showing up 100% in our truth. None of this other shit matters. So just focus on me. I won’t let you go, I promise.” 

“Just you and me,” she repeated, nodding slightly. 

And with that, he opened the limo door, standing tall as crowds shouted his name and the chaotic sounds of the carpet filled their ears. 

First night of the rest of our lives. And she was ready. 

***

Though she had not been to many award shows with Michael thus far, she learned one key thing. They were just as boring as they looked on tv except when you were the date of a popular nominee, you did not have the luxury of letting that boredom show. 

Will my jaw ever recover, she wondered as it ached from smiling through three hours of devastatingly mediocre jokes and long-winded speeches. At least the carpet was exciting and thrilling, as daunting as it was. In fact, the carpet was actually fun for the first time.

The chaotic jungle was its usual frantic chaotic place, not any different than she expected. But perhaps it merely felt different because she and Michael were so different from who they were the last time they were out together. They had stripped themselves bare and had shed their armor. They were standing decidedly in their truth and the immense love they shared. And that felt like a new world.

And she noticed so much more than her self-pitied colored glasses allowed her to see. Every protective touch, every studious glance to ensure she was still smiling and well, the well-timed playful remarks or jokes he whispered in her ear right when her nerves started to encroach, every gentle kiss that still held his endless passion for her. She finally saw it all and felt it. And it was everything. 

Michael straightened up next to her, pulling Raven out of her own daydreams. Robert Downey Jr. made his way to the middle of the stage, an envelope labeled Best Actor printed boldly across it. 

She tightened her grip on Michael’s hand. She had a good feeling about this. 

“A leading man is more than an attractive face, though I’m sure every woman would agree that all five men in this category have that quality in common as well. But what they also have in common is vulnerability, empathy, and the courage to search for the humanity and depth of their characters to embody their wants, their fears, their grief, their sorrow boldly and bravely. These five performances are exemplary and remind us all just what a leading man is. Here are the nominees for Best Actor in a Motion Picture.” 

The room dimmed ever so slightly as the reel started to play, the seconds that passed felt more like hours as they watched snippets of each performance. Michael’s was last, Raven’s free hand gently rubbing his arm as she felt his nerves finally kick in. She was impressed he only felt them now, she would have been an utter mess all evening.

“And the winner is…” the Marvel actor did a little fist pump that immediately gave the winner away, deafening applause almost drowning out his name. “Michael B. Jordan, Waves.” 

Michael’s head fell into his hand for a moment, genuine shock coursing through him. He had convinced himself that he would not win to minimize the disappointment. But he had not really considered how it would feel to actually win? To actually receive this honor. And it was more than he could have hoped it would be. 

Raven pulled him into her arms as they stood, tears swimming in her eyes. 

“I’m so proud of you,” she whispered before he kissed her. 

He honestly would have been fine to simply revel in this moment in her arms but he knew the clock was ticking on his speech.

He finally let her go and jogged up the stairs, giving RDJ a hug before stepping in front of the mic. The entire theater was still on their feet applauding and cheering as he stared out into the crowd. 

“Wow. Thank you so much for this. As a kid from New Jersey, you just don't really ever expect your dreams to take off like this, to end up in a place like this. This is just… more than I could’ve ever dreamed for myself. So thank you. There are a million people for me to thank and not enough time before they play me off. My family and friends, my team and manager, the cast and crew who poured their hearts and souls into this film… Without all of you, I wouldn’t have made it here tonight and I’m grateful for your constant support.” 

He glanced down at the trophy in his hand before continuing. “Umm… But there’s one person I do want to thank though and that is the love of my life, Raven Turner. When I look at you, all I can think of is how rewarding it is to be loved by you, to be chosen by you. That makes every day feel like I’ve just won an Oscar. I feel so blessed to be given the opportunity to love you, to stand in your light, and to live everyday working to be the man worthy of your love. Getting to share this moment with you goes beyond anything I could’ve imagined. Thank you for seeing me for all that I am and loving me for it. Thank you for falling with me, baby and I hope I make every day of our lives together worth it.” 

She knew that the tears that streamed down her face were not attractive or good for the camera that was surely about to pan to her but she could not have hoped to care. 

“I love you,” she mouthed though she doubted he could even see her from up there. 

“I love you. Thank you!” He held the statue up in his hand before turning and walking off stage, his standing ovation renewing. 

***

Michael wanted to laugh at how Raven stretched her body like an adorable kitten after sleeping like the literal dead for most of the daylight hours. He did not blame her, they did not stumble back into his house until after 4 am. Once the show ended, the pair bounced from after party to after party drinking, smoking, and dancing the night away. He had not had that much fun at industry events and parties in so long. And it had been so much fun that he was *almost* sad it was over, a perfect final night of an insane run in his career. 

But then he remembered that closing that chapter meant he could focus his attention on the perfect and hopelessly exhausted woman rousing in his arms. They could heal without the distractions of events and the public eye. They could build their lives together officially. The joy of that instinctively caused him to pull her into his chest, pressing his lips to the top of her head. 

“Mornin’ baby,” he whispered, his gruff voice filling her ears as Raven slowly opened her eyes.  

Peace and contentment gently glided through her frame like a light summer’s breeze, easing all the aches and pains she had felt before. She had missed this… falling asleep snuggled in his arms, wrapped lovingly and tightly in his scent. She would have been inclined not to move until she caught a glimpse of the time on his iPad. 

She let out a soft gasp as she tried to shoot up, shocked at how late she slept. However, his tight grip stopped her from lifting much beyond her head and chest. 

“You gotta let me go, baby. We should get up. It’s almost 3 pm… sorry, don’t even know how I slept that fucking late. I know you got shit to do.” 

“We had a late night and there ain’t shit to do today. And if there had been, I would’ve told you. Rest.” 

She used the back of her hand to rub her eyes as she glanced at him, studying how his eyes returned to a script on his iPad that was highlighted to death. She merely rolled her eyes. Of course he would be working right after the biggest night of his career. 

“How long have you been up?” 

“Since 11 or so?” he shrugged. “Figured I’d relax and read some scripts my team pulled for Outliers. Been so crazy, they’ve just been piling up. Grabbed a snack bout an hour ago and made you some tea but it’s definitely cold. I can make you more if you want.” 

“Why didn’t you wake me??” 

He merely shrugged with his unbothered charm, his hand gently rubbing her back, which lulled her into laying her head down on his chest again despite her brain’s alarm bells to get up.

How am I so tired?? She wondered as her eyes threatened to fall shut again. All her body wanted to do was fall asleep in his arms.  

“When you didn’t even move when I got up, it seemed like you needed the rest. And still do.”  

“I’m good.” 

“Those bags under your eyes say otherwise.”

“I know you ain’t talking…” she offered back, glancing pointedly at the equally stark dark circles under his eyes. 

“Touche. But no actor gets enough sleep. Early call times, global press tours, events and after parties. It’s the name of the game. You haven’t been taking care of yourself?” His annotation was that of a question but they both knew the answer. “How much sleep you been getting since we-” Michael stopped himself, the words he held back still hanging heavily in the air. There was still so much they still had to discuss, wounds that were still unhealed and unresolved. 

While Michael thought Raven was always stunning, he could not ignore the obvious toll the events of late had taken on his girl. He thought it had just been emotional but he had not seen her long enough to notice the physical strain his actions had caused too. And while she had told him not to feel guilty, he did. So he was not going to wake her up or bother her when it was clear she required a reset. And while he would always adore her for rallying for him last night, today was a new day. And she deserved to be catered to and have someone take care of her for a change. 

“Couple hours a night… Between the break up and the paparazzi during the first couple weeks… and then all the shit on social media, I was just on edge 24/7, my brain couldn’t shut off long enough to sleep… or sleep well. I had some old sleeping pills I used some nights when I was desperate but… it was hard not to think about everything over and over and over again. And then wallow in it.” 

“You stopped eating too? You lost weight.” 

Raven chuckled. “You know most men wouldn’t have a problem with their girlfriend losing a couple pounds. Wasn’t like I didn’t need to.” 

“You’re fuckin’ sexy at any weight but I gotta problem with anything that means you ain’t taking care of yourself. Especially when it’s my fault.” 

“I didn’t do it on purpose and it’s no one’s fault. I just… didn’t really have an appetite a lot. But that’s starting to come back. I’m fine, Michael. Truly. We’re still celebrating you, can’t end that early just to fuss over little ole me.” 

Michael knew she wanted him to pretend he believed her for the sake of not discussing this right now. But what was the point in that? He would not pretend he had not been terrified for her. That he was not still terrified at how all of this had worn her down. And he knew it was not just what he did, it had just been the final straw in a life-long list of painful experiences. But one thing Raven had always had when he looked at her was hope, even if the flame was as small as a dying candle. There was always an air about her that let him know she genuinely believed things would get better one day. 

But when he saw her at her apartment, the night at that bar? That was gone, completely extinguished. Her eyes, his favorite part of her, held nothing but sorrow. He would not be able to live with himself if he ever saw that look in her eyes again. 

“You aren’t fine, Rae. I know that shit. And I’m allowed to worry about you. I mean shit, how you looked after that video was bad enough. Then the bar?? Not gon’ forget that shit happened just cause we’re back together. And I’m not gon’ pretend you’re fine when you aren’t either. You’re not gonna keep sweeping your needs under the rug. We can lay here all day and sleep if that’s what you need.”

“You have better things to do, Mr. Academy Award Winner then watch me sleep. I can take care of myself.” 

“What if I like watching you sleep??” 

“Then that would be kinda endearing and… kinda creepy?” she mused. “But mostly endearing.” Not that she would ever admit it but she enjoyed watching him sleep too. 

“Well I might be creepy then,” he admitted. He did genuinely love watching her sleep, when she was in his arms, there was just a rare peace about her that he loved to see. “The outside world has gotten too much of me lately. Now, the only thing I wanna do is take care of you. Not cause you can’t do that shit yourself but because you shouldn’t have to. Everyone needs to be taken care of and I’m not letting the next 30 years go by without you knowing what that feels like. Now you’re gonna feel it. Every single day. Rest, Raven.”

His words tumbled through her brain as she stared at him for a moment, her eyes brimming with tears. She was exhausted and not just physically. But of carrying the weight of every problem on her shoulders, of being alone in crafting solutions. She was so often consumed by pure survival and it had made her resourceful and smart. There was not a problem that life threw at her that Raven had not figured out a way through. She was stuck in survivor mode 24/7. But the problem with survival is that it was an all-consuming task. There’s no opportunity… no room to rest. And no one to take on the burdens for her so she could. 

“I just haven’t h-had anyone… who cared enough to worry… in a long time, no one willing to share the load,” she offered simply, sniffling lightly. “Until you hired David… I didn’t think you cared what happened to me after we… I ended things.” 

“I did. I do.” His hand gently cupped her cheek, his thumb whisking away the tears that slowly fell. “Fuck, I thought about you every minute of the damn day, Rae. You had me over here losing my damn mind. I care… I love you so much, it fucking killed me. And scared me. And I deserved it, to worry and stress and flip shit because I fucked up… I hurt you.”

“You did. But it wasn’t just you. Life’s been shit before and I could always, you know, keep going? It was just the final blow to the little bit of hope I had? And I just didn’t see the point in getting back up again. That was my best… the bare minimum needed to keep breathing. The heartache… I knew I could get over that eventually. One day in the far fucking future, I could… would force myself to get over you. Or just accept that I could never have you. It was the ache of losing hope that killed me. It was like my soul ached? And there were moments, like the night of your premiere, that I just thought that would never heal?” 

“So you got wasted? To forget?” 

She chuckled. “Alcohol is a great temporary solution. When you’re that low… shit gets desperate,” she admitted. “Anything to numb the pain for a short while. But it always comes back.” 

“How often?” 

“Rarely and that was the worst night, I promise. Honestly, wasn’t sure I’d ever want to touch alcohol again after that.”  

“And now? How do you feel?” 

“The wounds in my heart still need mending but every second back with you has healed parts of my soul. I’m… not ok,” she admitted, Michael immediately empathizing with how difficult it was for her to say those words. “You’re right… it doesn’t just go away. But I will be ok.” 

He nodded. “I know you will be. I’m gonna make sure of it. Raven… look, I know this shit is scary, giving up control when you’ve been the one driving for so long, the one responsible for everything for so long. But I’m here, I’m not going anywhere and I’m not gonna let go again. It’s safe to let someone else behind the wheel for a while. Rest for me, baby girl. Please. 

As if she was light as a feather, he shifted her so her body laid on top of his chest, his strong arms anchoring her in that spot. She buried her face in the nape of his neck, breathing in the perfect scent that her heart recognized as him. 

Even as her body resumed its pliant posture in his arms, Raven realized she did not want rest. No, she wanted to feel him in the very depths of her. She knew they had to talk, knew there were conversations to be had. But fuck, she could not wait. She wanted to revel in this moment, of finally being with someone who genuinely loved her and cared. And she needed to feel it on a cellular level. 

Raven forced herself to sit up, quickly straddling his hips and giving him a quick but tantalizing grind against him. That turned his frown into a mischievous grin, though she could still see the concern in his eyes. 

“This is the opposite of rest, baby girl.” 

“I’ll rest as long as you want after. I need you.” 

“We still got a lot to talk about, Rae. I just don’t want you to get caught up in the moment ‘n not really want this yet. ‘N I…” Raven should have been put off the pure animalistic look simmering in his eyes. But instead it just made the desire grow stronger, long tentacles stretching out to every pleasure zone in her body. Demanding he touch, bite, slap, caress… literally do anything to satiate her. “I’m not sure what you need, what we both need.”  

Her palms cupped his face, guiding his eyes to hers. “Then don’t be sure. I love that you take care of me, Michael. But taking care of me isn’t having the perfect thing to say or do for me. Sometimes, it’s just being you and figuring it out as we go. I know I need you. And that’s what I want, to feel every part of you… whatever you have to give me. And everything we need to talk about will still be here when you’re done with me.”

And with her permission, the reins holding him back evaporated and he pounced. Raven was on her back before she could blink, Michael capturing her lips, reminding her of the dominance she missed. And desperately craved it.  

“Tell me what you need, baby,” he whispered in her ear.

“Everything. All of you.” 

Michael would happily oblige. He licked his lips as he stared down at her. Where would he even start? 

Some part of him wanted to render her utterly immobile as he usually did. But a more significant part of him just wanted to savor her. Wanted to feel everything she had to offer and bask in having her back with him. And while he loved the fast-paced dominant sex they were used to, it did not always allow for that. And he knew in his heart that they both needed more than fast and furious today.

His hands gently ran up the smooth skin of her thighs, gathering the oversized t-shirt on her frame in his hands and sliding it off. Her nipples pebbled slightly at the cold air against her warm skin. 

“Fuck, you’re beautiful. You know that shit right?” he asked as he pressed soft kisses against her neck. 

“Y-yes,” she whispered, her eyes rolling into the back of her head as he sucked on a particularly sensitive spot before moving down to her collarbone. 

“You know how much I love you? What I’d do for you?” he continued a slow but intentional path down her body, lingering on her chest as he engulfed each of her nipples between his lips. He took his time there, remembering how much she enjoyed nipple play. His mind called back to the numerous times he put clamps on them. His tongue licked her nipples, Raven whimpering and squirming beneath his hot mouth.

Soon, they would reacquaint themselves with those roles, he thought. If she was up for it.

Her body was ablaze as his lips and tongue found their home on every inch of her skin he could get to. Down he trekked, only slowing when he got to the paradise between her thighs. He knew her inner thighs were a weak spot, something he learned long long ago. He knew it was the teasing that got to her, being so close to where she needed pleasure the most but not exactly there yet. 

“Fuck I missed this,” he whispered. “Those little moans you make, how I make you squirm and beg and plead. The taste of you on my tongue.” 

“Michael… please,” she whimpered. “I need…” the words were lost on her, her brain was no longer in the decision-making business. Her body, the pleasure sensors that lived beneath the surface of her skin guided every feeling, every filthy thought, every base desire and need. “C-Can’t wait.” 

He lifted his head from between her thighs, his breath teasing her core with heat that turned her into putty in his hands. She could not wait, she needed to be connected to him. To feel their bodies become one again in the most intimate and carnal way. 

“You trust me, baby?” 

“With my life,” she answered truthfully. 

While his actions had shaken that trust, when it boiled down to it, she would never trust her body with anyone as she did with Michael. She was his and he had never harmed her or made her regret handing over the reins to her pleasure to him. He had proven himself worthy of it tenfold. 

“Then trust that Imma take care of you, princess. Always.” 

Princess… fuck was it possible for her heart to literally explode? Or for her to be anymore wet than she already was? 

His poor sheets, she mused. 

He resituated her legs on his shoulders and grinned up at her as he continued nipping at her inner thighs, Raven’s soft moans only spurring him on. She was already a mess… a delicious, delectable mess to be sure, her juices glistening and begging him to lick, suck… devour her. 

“Fuck… all this for me, baby?” he smiled as his kisses and bites grew closer and closer to where she desired, where she needed his touch the most. 

“Y-yes…” Her body had missed him more than she realized. 

“I missed you.” And with that short statement, devour her, he did. 

Bliss. 

Ecstasy. 

Fucking nirvana. 

He made her feel all of it with one masterful flick of his tongue against her bud, her back arching off his mattress and a guttural moan rising from her belly. He proved within minutes that he had not forgotten, forgotten what buttons to push, what spots to focus his attention, how she liked to be pleasured. 

He did not let up or come up for air as  his mouth savored every inch of her that he could, spelling out his adoration and love for her - not with his words - but with his tongue and his two fingers buried in her heat. There was a sensual pace to it that she was not used to with him. Typically, sex was deliciously punishing and unyielding. It was rooted in his care and gentleness for her but the pace left no time to breathe. Not that she minded. 

But today? He took particular care, the march up to her peak was tantalizingly slow but perfect all the same. There was no rush between them, despite Raven’s original desire to fit almost 2 months of lost time into this one moment. But Michael understood that they had time. There was no invisible clock, nothing rushing them. He could savor the little gasps of pleasure when he sucked her clit gently, the way her legs clamped around his head when she was close, how her pussy clenched around his fingers as he increased his speed to exactly where she liked, how her hips rocked to meet every thrust. 

Every plea, every moan, every scream for more. He wanted to hear all of it. And he wanted her to savor the feeling of being taken care of, because she would need to learn to get used to it. He could do this every day, more than once a day to be honest. 

“So… close,” her moans grew louder and louder as he took her to the edge of the cliff of pleasure. 

She allowed herself to fall as she felt the pleasure in her belly snap. Her mouth simply remained agape with a breathless scream on her lips as she fell into the depths of ecstasy. The crash didn’t feel like one at all, but a soft landing as he continued his ministrations against her clit, drawing out her orgasm for as long as he could. And it was pure bliss, warm waves of pleasure continuing to crash over her until he finally extracted himself from between her legs. 

“That was…” Being at a loss for words was commonplace when they fucked. But Michael understood as he pressed his lips to hers, allowing her to taste herself briefly. 

“Fuck!” she cried out as he immediately started to sheathe himself inside her, a welcomed surprise. She tried to hide it as her face screwed for a split second, her body becoming reacquainted with his girth and size. The stretch he provided today in particular, given their stint apart, was a short-lived sting of pain that managed to take her breath away. 

He immediately stilled. 

“Talk to me, Rae. You good?” 

Her eyes were still shut tight as she waited for a moment for her to get used to him again. So she merely nodded. 

“Words, baby.” 

“Y-Yea I’m good. J-just been a minute a-and you surprised me.” She let out a content sigh as pain gave way to mind numbing pleasure, giving him the directive to move. “A-and t-that’s not… fair,” she moaned. “W-wanted… to taste… you too.” She wanted to force her lips into a playful pout but the only facial expressions her muscles could conjure up were those of passion and pleasure. 

“Next time, princess.” He sucked on the soft skin of her neck as he drove into her. 

Raven could only see the darkness of the back of her head as her eyes rolled back with every rock forward of his hips, sending his dick right into her g-spot. His thrusts were relentless, Raven’s nails digging into his back as she held onto him for dear life. 

“Fuck… I-I love you,” she panted, unable to form any other real sentences worth anything. That was all that needed to be said in her mind. 

“Say it again,” he demanded, gently biting her neck as her declaration of love only spurred him on. He grabbed her legs and pulled her ankles to his shoulders. 

“I love… FUCK! Fuckkkkk, j-just like that!” She cried out, abandoning the words originally on her lips for completely incoherent ramblings of a woman who was being split into two but loved every single second of it. 

Did he just kill me?? Am I dead?? Because this no longer felt of this world? No human being should be allowed to experience this sort of pleasure. Or be able to give it… was the man above her even human? 

“You feel so good, baby. You like how I’m fuckin’ this pussy??”

“Yes! Yes! Fuck I love it so much. Don’t stop, please don’t stop!” 

Stopping?? An utterly foreign concept to him at that moment. And he did not. Raven barely could breath as Michael moved her into position after position, fucking her into oblivion. 

Tears sprang to her eyes as he fucked her from behind, his teeth biting gently into the skin of her neck.

“Where you want it, princess??” he demanded as he felt himself getting close. 

“Cum inside me,” she gasped, not wanting their union to end any sooner than it needed to. This was as close as they could get and for some part of her, it still was not close enough. 

More, more, more, her soul seemed to demand. More of him. 

“Don’t say that shit to me if you don’t mean it?” he warned, those few words causing a fever to settle over him, his hips snapping forward into her ass with a force that jolted her further into his mattress. 

“Please, baby,” she whined desperately, unable to find any other words to assure him that was what she wanted. 

Euphoric was the only word that came to mind as he pulled her flush to his chest and emptied his cum inside her. 

“Thank you, thank you,” she panted, her pussy clenching around him as he pumped in and out of her slowly.

Michael gently let her body fall into the mattress, Raven’s eyes already starting to flutter closed as he went to grab a warm towel. Another whimper escaped her lips as he cleaned her up. 

“That was… whew. I missed you.”

Michael did not bother putting his own clothes back on but instead slid into bed with her, cuddling her body against his. 

Of course now, sleep was not something Rave could avoid, her body spent as it always was after their time together. 

“ Give me an hour and then my legs will work again. And then I’m taking over,” she muttered as she yawned. 

He merely laughed and nodded, pressing his lips to her forehead. 

“Wouldn’t bet on it. I only made you cum four times.” 

Raven lifted her head to look at him incrediously. “Only four??? I can’t feel my legs, babe.” Her jaw dropped at the slight frown creasing his lips. “Oh my God… you’re actually upset,” she laughed. “You’re insane.” 

“I have a reputation to uphold, babe. Six minimum every time.” 

“If you wanna kill me, just say so,” she joked.

“Just tryin’ to put you to sleep without a fight,” he offered with a smile. “I give it five minutes before you’re out like a light.” 

“Very mischievous but effective.” 

Raven did not understand how she could even require more sleep, even after a palty (as Michael would complain) four orgasms. But he had accomplished his goal, her entire body was boneless and pliant in his hands. Everything in her told her she was finally home and safe to let go of everything else for the first time in her life. So she welcomed the coming rest, allowing her eyes to drift closed. However, before she fully gave in, she whispered. 

“You should rest too… you’ve been going and going since the top of the year. You’ve earned it too.” 

“Deal.” 

The life of an actor was defined by sleep deprivation so Michael had learned the important trait of falling asleep literally anywhere and anytime. Because his body was on his press tour schedule, he had felt wide awake after a few hours of rest this morning. But he knew if he closed his eyes for 5 minutes, he would pass out again. 

“I love you,” he offered quietly as he shifted them both so he was laying down again. 

“Not as much… as I love you,” she mumbled back as her eyes fluttered closed.

Tag list: @readinghere2023 @blackerthings @prettyisasprettydoes1306 @physicxal @purplehairgawdess @miyuhpapayuh @rueruesclues @geemamii @certifiedlesbianbaddie @pipsqueak-98 @nyifly22 @destinio1 @twocentaur @gopaperless @musicisme333 @majesticbrown @roguekiki @taurusqueen83 @mysteryuz @miamormilan @itsknor-thedeep @naj-ay444 @mads-grace4 @nayaesworld @kholdkill @msniaimani @nccu-rnc @apenasumlug4r @dezzy154 @munchsa

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A/N: Whew ok y'all do not know how much I agonized over this chapter LOL but our babies are backkkkkk and we have maybe two chapters left and an epilogue. Thanks so much for sticking by my slow writing ass. Drop a comment and let me know what you thought!

[moonpiemoonshine]

Sneaky Suspicion

(A Adonis Creed Fanfic)

“And in this corner, wearing the grey and white The Titan, Tessa Titanium Morrison!” The ref yelled and the crowd cheered at the woman. Her dirty blonde hair swaying while she loosens her body up. “And in this corner wearing the gold and green, the County Cobra! Clairese!” He finished and the other half of the crowd yelled at her.

The two women wearing all the normal boxing gear but their hands being bare. No wrap, no nothing. The two death glare each other, the low lighting of the empty warehouse making it difficult to see each other’s faces. The ref called the two to the center of the ring.

“Okay girls, no hair pulling, biting or private shots. All else is allowed, you’re done when the other is down for ten” he stated bluntly and the girls nodded.

They headed to their respective corners, Tessa keeping eye contact with her competitor. When the makeshift bell rang the girls darted to each other. Clairese had quickly thrown a left hook and it shifted Tessa back a bit. Tessa quickly recovered and landed a left and right hook. This made her stumble back, but Clairese threw herself into Tessa’s gut making her fall against the ropes. Claire took body shot after body shot on Tessa but Tessa finally wrapped her arms around Claire’s head and kneed her jaw to get her off. Clair had fallen to the ground but was right back up, she tried to land a harsh kick but Tessa had grabbed her ankle and pulled her to fall onto her back. Claire stayed on the canvas till the count reached six and then wobbled her way up. Claire snuck behind Tessa in a headlock and held her tight. Tessa could break through it so she dug her nails into Claire’s arm and drug them down her arms and with the harsh grip she had lunged forward and pulled Claire over her shoulder and slammed her to the ground.

Claire stayed down on the ground to the end of the count. The crowd roared at Tessa’s victory and she held up her red battered hands. She lazily hopped of the ring and a man had given her a jacket and slid her a wad of cash. Tessa left the building and walked through the dark streets of Philly. She made it to her apartment complex and walked to the third floor. She quickly went to her bathroom throwing off her jacket and running the water. She ran her hands through the cold water, they shake out of pain and tears prick the girls eyes. She looked in the mirror and was shocked to not see a bruise forming on her face. She was glad to not have suffered a brutal blow to her face this time.

After she wrapped a bags of frozen peas on her knuckles she started to play music from her speakers. She rested on her couch scrolling through her phone. Texts from her dad popped up but she ignored them. She knew it was late but was too tired to care. Her body sore from the fight but glad to not feel the pain in her face like she used to. After a while she hears a loud knock on her door. Rolling her eyes she gets up and off the couch and quickly turns down the music and goes to the door. When the door opened and she sees the man in the doorway she lifts her eye brows in shock to see a handsome man she’s never seen before in her building.

“Oh, uh hey. I’m Donnie. I uh just moved in upstairs and I got to work out early in the morning but I can’t sleep with your loud music playing” he said going from a rude tone into a soft tone.

“Oh okay, I’ll turn it down.” She said bluntly before giving him a quick forced smile then closed her door. She thought he was good looking and thought it was heavily interesting that he had to state the fact he was gonna work out.

The next morning she was sore but still wanted to continue her training. She saw Donnie when she left her apartment and she gave him a small wave when she passed by. She continued her schedule like usual. She’d train in the morning, go to work and cook in the afternoon then went home and trained some more. She worked on building up a tolerance in her knuckles and arms. She blasted her music to make sure her neighbors didn’t ever hear her training. She’d had been training at night like usual but when she heard a knock of her door she quickly paused her music and went to open the door and she saw Adonis there once again.

“Too loud?” She asked in a soft tone.

“Oh no, I uh.. what you doing right now?” He asked in a nervous tone.

“Just working, why?” She replied now curious.

“I just wanted to know if you wanted a break, are you hungry?” He continued and Tessa let out a small giggle at his nervousness.

“Where are you from, this how you guys ask girls out?” She laughs.

“I’m from L.A, but I’m not asking as a date. I just wanna know if you’re hungry” he stated trying to fake confidence.

“I could eat” She shrugged and quickly left the door way and grabbed her things.

They went down to a sub shop that Tessa had enjoyed, Max’s. Everyone who was working complimented Tessa when she walked in and she ordered subs for the two of them. She tried to sway Adonis from not paying for the food but he did anyways. Tessa lead him to a booth and the two sat down.

“So Donnie, since you paid for the food I should know the full name. Just so I know who to write the check to” Tessa joked and a small laugh leaves Adonis.

“Adonis Johnson, you?” He asked and a small sigh leaves Tessa.

“I’m Tess, Tessa Morrison” she answered, hoping to not get a follow up question.

“That name it’s familiar” he says curious.

“My dad is Tommy Morrison, better known as Tommy Gunn” Tess answered in a lightly annoyed manner.

“Woah, who would’ve guessed I would’ve ran into-“ Adonis started but Tessa cut him off.

“The worlds biggest wrestling disappointments daughter. Yes that’s me” she sighed and Adonis felt guilty for words he weren’t even thinking about.

“No,no it’s just I didn’t think I’d meet a semi famous boxers daughter. I came here to fight” He stated and this intrigued Tess.

“Oh, so that’s why you just had to make it known you were working out when we first met” Tess replied with a sly smirk and a smile crept on Adonis’s face.

“Yea, but I wanna ask. You run in the morning, you’re gone for a while. Why do you do that?” He asked in a upbeat mood.

“Can’t a woman just wanna stay in shape” she joked then continued, “No, I used to run all the time with my dad it’s just a habit I keep up”

“Oh really, then why’d you have frozen peas strapped to your knuckles that night?” He asked quirking a brow now cornering the woman. She sighed and knew there was no way to hide it.

“Okay, I do some fighting on the side. I don’t do it since I need to look decent for my job” she said feeling lighter telling the truth.

“Where do you work?” He replied and Tess smiled sheepishly.

“You are just full of questions aren’t you? I work at the Black Board, restaurant during the day and big party bar at night. I work the later lunch rush and happy hour” she answered.

“You got a man?” He asked bluntly and a light laugh left Tess.

“No, you got a girl?” She shot back and now Adonis laughed and shook his head no. “What got you into fighting?” Tessa continued.

“Well it’s funny my pops used to fight” he said in a lower tone.

“Huh, he fight pro?” She asked now fully interested.

“Something like that” Adonis answers looking away, now uncomfortable.

“He train you?” Tessa continued with slight excitement.

“My pop died before I was born” Adonis stated and now Tessa felt guilty for asking.

“Sorry to hear that” she said in a low guilty tone.

“So where’s your next fight at” Adonis shifted the tone back into its groove, but now it was Tessa’s turn to be uncomfortable, she should tell the truth but didn’t want him to judge her.

“I’m not a pro fighter of any sorts, I uh do a lot of off the book type stuff. I have one next Friday at the old can corn factory.” she answered not super enthused, hoping he wouldn’t care too much.

“Can I roll with you, I wanna show up” He asked with genuine interest. This made a small smile creep on her face letting her emotions take over her thought process.

“I’ll think about it” she said with a smile.

The two had left the restaurant and went back to their respective apartments. Tessa was so giddy when she got back to her room, she really did enjoy her time with Adonis and wanted to see more of him. Her good mood was dampened when she had finally looked at her text messages from her dad. He was asking for his cut of the money from her fights, she was so frustrated she called the man.

“You get your money if you show up to the fight. That was the deal, you got me into this mess and so you gotta deal with the recoil” she spat when he finally answered.

“You think I have time to see you fight when I know you can win” her father said in a cocky arrogant manner.

“No show, no money” she stated bluntly then hung up the phone.

The next couple days she’d train, and see Donnie on her downtime. He’d come and see her for a quick check in at her bar. Adonis would know when she came back from work and he’d go down to her apartment and hang out. She’d cook for him and one night before he had started to eat the two shared a kiss, letting their chemistry settle and spring. The new couple talked mostly about Adonis and his plans in fighting, Tess kept mostly quiet when it came to her fighting career.

On Tess’s day off she was hanging out in her windowsill looking out into the street and she noticed Adonis packing his things into a van, she was confused on what he was doing. He was with a older guy but Tess had a hard time figuring out who it was.

“You moving?” Tess asked leaning out the window. Adonis looked up and smiled at the girl.

“Oh yea, I didn’t get a chance to tell you, but I’m gonna be living with my uncle for a while, training for the next fight” he explained and the man he was with finally looked up towards her. She instantly knew who that was and she wanted to shrivel up and die.

“That’s your uncle?” She asked not believing him.

“Yea a long time. He’s gonna be training with me, and when we ain’t training you’re welcome to come on over” Rocky said to the woman. Tess allowed a small smile to go over her face but did it to hide the fear and shock from seeing Rocky.

“Okay, thank you” she said in a kind tone and rocky closed the van doors and went to the other side of the van. Tessa looked down at Adonis and shook her head and gave him a judgmental look.

“Why you giving me that look?” Adonis asked with a slight laugh.

“When where you gonna tell me your uncle is Rocky Balboa? You know he might not be the biggest fan of me” Tessa answered astonished by this fact.

“Imma call you” is all Adonis could say.

“Okay, I’m not gonna hold my breath” Tess replied rolling her eyes and waved him goodbye. Adonis hopped into the van and they started to head to Rocky’s house.

“That girl seems nice who is she?” Rocky asked and Adonis looked at him with a surprised expression.

“Wait you don’t know her?” Adonis follows up and now Rocky is confused.

“No, why would I”

“Rock, that’s Tessa Morrison. You know Tommy Morrisons daughter” Adonis explained and Rocky went wide eyed.

“Woah, I woulda thought he went back to Oklahoma. Didn’t expect him to stay around here, and let alone have a kid” Rocky stated and a small breathy laugh leaves him.

“Rock, she thinks you hate her” Adonis stated bluntly and now the older man was set back.

“I’ve never met the girl, I got no reason to hate her. Her father I do, but she’s a completely different person” he replied and this made Adonis feel better.

“Agreed, she’s pretty great” he said with a small sigh and this caused Rocky to chuckle.

“Women weaken legs” Rocky stated quickly and Adonis composed himself.

“My legs work just fine” Donnie said in a slightly offended tone.

Friday night had rolled around and Tessa prayed that Adonis was busy with training or that he had forgotten. Tessa stood in her corner of the ring looking at the bigger woman across from her. To distract herself for a moment she looked through the crowd and saw sadly her father. He seemed heavily unimpressed so Tess looked back at her opponent. The bell rang and Tess started.

The fight was aggressive, this woman was leg heavy and used them well. Tess had lasted about ten minutes before she was knocked to her knees and held down and was taking heavy body shots. Tess was weak and had finally wanted to give up, but she wiggled her way up and fought through this woman for about five more minutes, the woman had tired herself out and after two left hooks she finally went down and stayed down. Tess’s body was too weak for her to stand for very much longer. She slid off the mat but clung to the side to stay up. She was given the money and seconds after her father was at her side.

“Got me going there for a second, almost thought I waisted my time” Tommy snickered and Tess rolled her eyes. She gave him a portion of the money but her body stung in pain.

“Can you help me get to my apartment, I don’t think I can walk there on my own. Please” she softened her eyes and pleaded with her father.

“Can’t, busy with work. You’ll survive” He replied coldly and walked off.

Tears flowed from Tessa’s eyes and the crowd started to leave. She knew she could barley walk but she didn’t wanna stay in the gross empty building. Her eyes started to blur from the pain circulating through her body but she felt a pair of hands on her shoulders and she looked up from the floor and say Adonis in front of her.

“Tess! Tess! Oh my god the hell is wrong with you. I though you boxed, not actually street fought” Adonis said panic ringing through his voice.

“I’m sorry” is all Tess could croak out.

“You can’t walk can you! Here lemme help” he said panicking and worried.

He picked up the girl and carried her to the van he had driven there. He drove to Rocky’s place and bursts through the front door yelling for Rocky’s help. He laid her down on the couch and Rocky came running in, the two men both now panicking and on high alert.

“The heck happened to her!” Rocky asked seeing the beaten girl.

“She told me she did fighting on the side, but it’s not any type of fight I’ve seen before. This is some underground dog fighting” Adonis said worry dripping from his tone, “I can’t take her to the doctors, they’ll ask her or me what happened and if they find out she’ll be locked up” Adonis continued looking at Rocky.

“Fine, I’ll help you, but the moment she is well she needs to explain herself. I’m not gonna have that around me or you” Rocky stated sternly and Adonis quickly nodded in agreement.

Rocky and Adonis did their best to ice and wrap up the girl. She was knocked out cold for about twelve to fourteen hours, the two men stayed around to be there for her when she woke up. When she did it was hard for her. Her eyelids heavy and her body sore. She sat up on the couch and saw Adonis, he was quick to rush to the woman’s side.

“Tess! You okay?” He started with worry and caressed her face. She lightly nodded to answer and so Adonis continued “the heck’s the matter with you! The hell you doin dogfighting” Tessa sighed and looked at the stand next to the coach, she saw her phone and reached and grabbed it, lightly hissing in pain.

“My dad is a cruel man. He hated the skill I showed in boxing in such a young age, but no one wanted to train me because of him. So he took up the job but I didn’t like his fighting style, didn’t work out for me. So I tried to get outside help, even tried to change my name but he made sure no one would help me. He made it to where I couldn’t even land small boxing matches with bums. So when money ran tight, I would dog fight. It made good amount of money and we lived. He relies on me and my fights” Tess explained and showed the men the texts her father sends. Asking about the money and setting up of matches. Rocky was pissed, the thought of Tommy making his blood boil.

“That coward. Never being able to do the work. Always wanting the easy way out” Rocky grumbled and then sat closer to Tessa and put his hand lightly on her forearm. “I don’t what you to be fighting like that no more. You fight, you fight the real deal. Your father got any problem with that he comes to me” Rocky stated and tears and a smile appeared on her face.

“Okay, thank you Rocky” she said and Adonis held her hand in comfort.

(Stay tuned for part 2 😌)

[lady-olive-oil]

Michael B Jordan Masterlist

Here we have baby daddy number 5774😂 And the ultimate Cutie Pie, Daddy Bakari!!

Back to The List

Erik Killonger Drabble/Imagines/Fics:

Drabble 1: That’s My Baby

Imagine 1: When We (remix) w/Johari

Drabble 2:

Michael B. Jordan Drabble/Imagines/Fics:

Fics:

Back and Forth

Prologue || MTC || CH 1 || CH 2 || CH 3 || CH 4

Imagines:

Imagine 1 || Imagine 2 || Imagine 3 || Imagine 4 ||

_____

Creed 1 & 2 Drabbles/Imgaines/Fics

My Everything:

Prologue || MTC || CH 1 || CH 2 || CH 3

Imagine 1 || Imagine 2 || Imagine 3 || Imagine 4

____

Gif Sets:

Bring It Back ||

[imperfectlyxangelic]

This song as a series with either Erik or Adonis would be so dope.

It could be about a girl (at least 18) and her forbidden relationship with Erik or Adonis (at least early 20s) because her mother feels like he’s not good enough for her, he’s a gangster/drug dealer or whatever, he’s rumored to be involved with other women… etc, etc. but she continues to sneak around with him until her mother finds out and threatens to disown her unless she leaves him alone…

Somebody make this happen!!! Please!!!

[liviareads]

The Bathroom : Adonis one shot

Now this was written because I had an itch to start writing again after like 9 years, loosely based on the Euphoria episode season two Ep 1 (great show). I just thought it would be fun to write so please don’t judge lol. I can carry on if anyone would like this to continue. I have tried my best to be good with grammar etc but I was writing on my phone and in various different places while writing lol. I haven’t picked a face claim for the lead lady character yet so please feel free to send some through. Thx x

“Do we really have to go to this shit?” Roma exclaimed, her two friends Maya and Capri decided they would pull up to her place and force her to go to some party. Which she was not happy about

“Bitch yes we do, so stop complaining and finish your drink, we are here.” The bass from this singular house could be heard at least a mile down the road.

Roma huffed before taking back her drink of white rum and sprite, she sat their scrolling through her Instagram, liking a picture here and there. Muffled conversation filled her ears, she was not paying to Maya and capri’s conversation at all

“Bitch are you listening?” Coming out of her trance, Roma looked up from her phone at Maya.

“Not really but please repeat.” Maya rolled her eyes before filling Roma in on the plans for tonight. One simple rule was to get drunk, however Maya’s plan was to find a man so she could forget her idiot ex boyfriend for at least 10 minutes. If that

“Got it” Roma had no intentions on getting drunk, as much as she would usually be the life of the party, tonight she was not in the mood. However that didn’t stop her from knocking back 3 shots of Patron before entering the party.

“Can I just ask when were house party’s still a thing?” Roma asked the girls as she got out of the car, the liquor was slowing getting to her and she started to feel like maybe she could get out of this funk she was in

“Some guy I’ve been speaking too invited us, apparently it’s his friend’s thing” Capri said as she walked in front of Maya and Roma. The house they were walking up too wasn’t too big but not too small, probably the right size for a party. Nicely furnished from the outside.

Roma wasn’t sure what to make of this scene just yet, maybe a few more shots and she could vibe with it. Her and the girls made their way through the crowds of people, the odd few gang of girl’s gave them some looks as if they’d taken their man away from them. Laughable

One thing Roma’s grandma taught her, was to walk into a room and believe you are the most prettiest girl in there, show them bitches who is the boss. Grandma’s words precisely

“Let’s go do some shots!” Capri shouted over the music, the rest of the girls followed her into the kitchen which wasn’t too packed full of people.

Maya found 3 clean red cups as Capri found the Patron. The patron was poured into each cup and was downed within seconds.

“Absolutely beautiful, also I need the toilet so I’ll be back” Roma hated to break the seal but it had to be done in this case. She left both Maya and Capri in the kitchen as they downed more shots. She knew one of them was either going to be sick or passed out.

After asking at least 3 people where the toilets was, she finally found it. Reaching for the door handle, it remained stiff. “Fuck” she mumbled to herself.

The hallway where she was waiting for the toilet was pretty much empty, a door stood across from the bathroom door and muffled conversations could be heard behind it, also the aroma of weed was not hidden well at all

She began to knock on the door hoping someone was answer. Silence. Then she began banging on the door till someone finally responded

“Shit! Wait I’m on the toilet!” A man’s voice called out. She stood there swaying side to side trying to focus her mind on anything else but needing to pee. Didn’t work.

The muffled conversation from the opposite door across from the bathroom got clearer as the people in the room got closer to the door. The door opened and out a waft of smoke came, along with the stench of weed. Then followed a group of guys, who weren’t shy of letting Roma know that they were looking at her. Not that she cared.

Roma had this mean girl attitude when it came to men, she didn’t care for them, and she also liked to play them at their own games. She hadn’t had a serious boyfriend since the age of 18, she was now 23, however she did not feel the need to have one. All the guys she’d come across seemed to be the same in one or another. Assholes eventually. She much preferred living her life and making money, not having to answer to anyone.

The group of guys slowly started to pass through the hallway, giving a quick smile and wink to Roma, she just turned her back and began banging on the door again. The guy shouted again to wait which made Roma even more pissed. Roma slowly turned as she felt a presence behind her, it was of the guys from the room opposite.

“May I help you?” She asked, the attitude radiated from her body, she was not impressed at this invasion of space, adding the need for the toilet onto the list

“Need to use the restroom beautiful?” The smirk he held changed to a smile which revealed his beautiful set of teeth. Damn he was handsome. But Roma would never let a guy know that.

“I do but some ASSHOLE is taking their sweet time!” She made sure the person on the other side of the door could hear her, the guy laughed before moving Roma to the side

“Yo! I suggest you get out of this bathroom in 2 seconds otherwise I’m going to kick the door in, and then your head!” His whole demeanour changed, the sweet mr smooth was now a raging bull. Within a second the door flung open and out walked a guy and girl, he was doing up his zipper, she looked embarrassed. Roma rolled her eyes at the scene in front of her.

“I’m all for fucking in the bathroom but at least make it sure people don’t need it, we all don’t want a UTI!” Roma aimed it more towards the girl, the couple both shuffled past Roma and the guy.

“Thanks for that” She spoke to the guy, he gave her a head nod before she ran into the bathroom and locked the door.

Roma does what she needed to do, freshens up and gives herself a once over in the mirror, she needed another drink asap. Opening the door to step out, she is met with the guy from just a few minutes ago, he is now standing opposite to the bathroom door, looking at his phone. He looks up once the door opens, looking her up and down for a few seconds.

“Did you need to use it after me?” Roma asked him

“Na but do you wanna share some of this?” He pulled a joint out of his jacket pocket

“I don’t smoke, plus I wouldn’t take weed from a stranger anyway” Roma rolled her eyes, she began to walk away when she felt him grab hold of her wrist slightly. Her head flew round so fast, she shot him a look that told him he should let go.

“My bad darling, I was just wanting to have a conversation with you, somewhere that is not crowded” Again he flashed that million dollar smile

“My name is Roma, not darling” before she could finish her sentence he cut her off

“My name is Adonis, nice to meet you darling” Roma rolled her eyes at the ‘darling’ part. This guy thought he had some serious game.

“Carry on rolling them pretty eyes of yours and you’ll be stuck like it” he laughed. She felt a wave of embarrassment fall over her, was she really letting this guy get to her, let alone talk to her.

“5 minutes and I’ll back off” he said shrugging his shoulders before walking into the bathroom. Was she really going to follow, she didn’t even know him, he could do anything to her in there. He was a decent size guy, she probably couldn’t fight him off even if she wanted too.

“Fine but touch me and I’m smashing your head off the sink” Roma followed behind him. She had a sense that he wasn’t the type of guy to try anything like that. There was a strange yet comforting feeling coming from him.

“So Roma, what made your parents call you that?” He asked as she propped herself up onto the sink area

“After the city Rome I believe, nothing special” she was now right in front of him, taking in all his features. She couldn’t deny at all that he was good looking. He wasn’t about to find that out though

“Beautiful name for a beautiful woman” Smooth talker too, 100% player

“Do you always talk to girls like this?” She asked raising her eyebrow at him

“I want to say no but I don’t think you’ll believe me, am I right?” He began to walk closer to her, which caused her to scoot even further back onto the sink area

“Bingo, I can sense a player when I see one” he just shook his head and laughed at her response

“Do you always act like this?” He mimicked how she acted when asking him the same question

“Yes because I don’t trust you men, all the same” The act wasn’t an act for Roma, she’d created this over the years and it had stuck

“Well what happens when a guy wants to get to know you?” He somehow got even closer to Roma

“They don’t because I don’t let them, it’s peaceful that way” A hot flush came over Roma at that point. She was wondering if he had some type of power to make her feel like that, because it had never happened before.

“Sounds like you pick some shitty men” he laughed. From what Roma could see, he most definitely had a good physic. The broad shoulders told her everything she needed to know.

“Yeah, look I better go, my friends are going to be looking for me” she said hopping down from the sink. She was now right in front of him, close enough to smell his cologne. His height was perfect.

“But we was just getting to know each other?” Another hot flash washed over Roma, she didn’t like the power this man held.

“I’m sure there is loads of girls out their that you could get to know and drop them corny lines onto” She gave him a slight nudge which indicated for him to move, which he didn’t.

“You know, one day you’re going to have to give someone a chance?” His hands now found their way to both sides of her, pushing her back towards the sink. Both his hands lay one the edge of the sink area as he looked down at her. She wanted to fight this feeling of excitement, but instead she decided to play the game.

“You know…I might just take you up on that advice.” She ran her finger up and down his torso. Game on.

“Smart girl.” He said while leaning even more forward. Roma licked her lips and decided to put on the sweet and innocent look, making her eyes glossy. “Can I kiss you baby?” As much as Roma thought about it who was she kidding, she wanted to kiss him however she wasn’t going to let him him have the satisfaction.

He lingered over her as he waited for her answer. “Mmmm, No.” she said licking her lips and plastering on her sweet and innocent smile.

“Oh so it’s like that ma?” Adonis now provided a little bit of space between them but still remained close.

“Yes, now if you would excuse me. My friends are probably looking for me.” She placed her hand on his chest giving him a slight push, this time he did move out of her way. She began to walk away before turning around on her heels to face him again. “You’ve gotta be better at this game honey.” She gave him a wink before opening the door.

To her surprise Maya was right on the other side of that door, just about to knock it. “Bitch! We’ve been looking for-.” Maya looked over Roma’s shoulder before looking back at her and raising her eyebrow. Here we go.

“Cmon let’s go, I need a drink” Roma grabbed Maya’s arm.

“Bitch if you didn’t suck his dick!” Roma expected exactly them words to come out of Maya’s mouth. She was going to need more than one drink for this.

[collapsedinharry]

Harry : Big news

this is based off of one of my fav scenes in creed II.

thought it would make a cute imagine, enjoy :)

Harry had some news he wanted to tell his parents about and I wanted to be with him in Guernsey when he does.

We had drove over to his family’s house from our hotel to have dinner together. Harry insisted I stay back since I had thrown up shortly after the flight, but I told him I was fine and that it was probably just from jet lag.

When we got there it was just his parents as they said Josh was out with friends and well Rosie had moved for uni a while back.

All of us were having a simple conversation when Harry finally decides to tell them about a house that we just bought.

“Mum...dad, I have some news to tell you.”

“Oh, I already know.” Harry’s mum says.

“You do?”

“All the salt, shiny hair, glowing skin. How far along are you?” She asked me.

Harry and I both look at each other and let out a laugh.

“You think I’m- no, I’m not.” I say letting out a laugh while taking a sip of some wine.

She gives me a look that says “Alright, if you say so” and with that I spit the wine back into the glass and look back at Harry.

We both excuse ourselves from dinner and go to the nearest store. I grab a pack of two pregnancy tests, pay for them in a panic and get back in the car.

The drive back to the hotel was quiet with both of our legs bouncing, scared wondering what the outcome of the test would be.

“Harry don’t touch it!”

“What? I don’t care that you peed on it.”

“I don’t want you to mess it up.” I say as I pick it up. Those were the longest five minutes of my life.

I look at the test in my hands with a blank expression.

“What? What does it say?”

“It’s two blue lines.”

“Two blue lines. What does that mean, two blue lines.” Harry says as he searches on the box, but I already knew.

I slid down the counter, sitting on the restroom floor now.

“Maybe....maybe it’s broken.” I hear along with the fumbling of the box.

“That’s crazy.” he says.

“Mhm. I don’t know Harry, I don’t know.”

“You did say you wanted kids.”

“Yeah, but not so soon. I don’t know if I’m- if we’re ready.”

“Lets get ready then.” Harry says grabbing my hand and giving it a kiss.

“Yeah.” I say now smiling, thankful for such a loving partner.

[dashhoney25]

DDose: ten

JASMINE

I couldn’t believe it! I’m pregnant! I can’t wait to tell Hazel, but right now, I want to enjoy the fact that Erik convinced her to move in and now we can all be under one roof! I arrived home to the apartment to hear Essence by WizKid looming through the house. Vibing to the music, I followed the tune to Hazel’s bedroom and found her sorting through some clothes. “Hey sis! Erik told me you’d be here. Everything okay?” I asked. “Hey Google! Pause music” Hazel commanded. The music came to a halt and I took a seat on the bed. “Hey Jas, I’m fine. I’m just going through some clothes, looking for things to take to Erik’s. Aren’t you coming?” she asked. “Sis, I knew about this already” I replied taking one of her shirts and folding it for her. “I didn’t want to move in with Adonis unless you were coming too” I stated.

 Hazel continued to fold another shirt, “So you knew that Erik wanted me to move in?” she questioned. “Of course I did! Why do you think I helped you pick out a dress for dinner?!” I laughed. Hazel placed the folded shirt on the bed and grabbed a pillow, swatting me with it. “How could you hold out on me like that!” She laughed. “Okay! Okay!” I laughed, holding my hands up to prevent Hazel from hitting me again with the pillow. “Look, I didn’t know everything. But I knew that Erik would be taking you out and I wanted it to be special. Adonis mentioned that Erik wanted to go all out for the night, and I wanted you to look your best” I admitted. “Erik told Adonis that the night went great, how was it for you?” I questioned. Hazel smiled to herself as she placed the folded shirts into the suitcase. Hazel had this sly grin on her face, “Tell me!” I urged. Hazel laughed, “Jas it was nice. Dinner was beautiful, the scenery was breathtaking. The sex was just…” her voice trailed off. “Sex?” I questioned with a furrowed brow.

“Nobody mentioned anything about sex” I said getting irritated. “Because it wasn’t your business Jas. Why are you trippin’ anyway” Hazel replied. “Because I know how you are when it comes to Erik, especially when big decisions are involved” I warned. Hazel rolled her eyes. “What do you mean by ‘I know how you are when it comes to Erik’” Hazel mocked. “When he doesn’t feel the same way that you do, or act how you want him to act, you throw a tantrum and run… and then you cry to me about it.” Hazel folded her arms and kissed her teeth. “Haze, you know I’m right. I just don’t want you to make any lusty decisions over something that could be potentially permanent. You remember what happened with Trevor and I don’t you?” I chastised.  Hazel sighed. “Trevor was a shitty dude anyway. I don’t know why you moved in with him just to come back here two weeks later!” Hazel remarked.

“Sis, the point is, I made a hasty decision when I knew he wasn’t shit and I gave him the benefit of the doubt. Only you know what you and Erik can handle, and I don’t want to hear any of this down the line. Next thing you know you’re leaving Erik and looking for somewhere to stay because we’re not signing another lease here” I stated. “Who?! Sis I’m not giving up my share of the apartment. I’m gonna continue to pay rent here in case things go sour” Hazel replied. “So you’re planning to fail huh? You really think things aren’t gonna work out? Why did you tell him you wanna move in if you’re not ready!”  I argued.

 “Jasmine, I’m ready to move in with him. Erik asked me to move in like a gentleman, with his clothes on. As the night progressed, I felt the need to give him some to celebrate. There’s nothing lusty to ramble over.” Hazel shrugged. “I just want to come home in case I need to. I’m aware of how Erik can be and if I need to cool off; I’d rather be alone and not in his house alright?!” Hazel said attempting to get me off her case. “I see you’ve given it some thought. I just want what’s best for you. I don’t want you ending up how Trevor and I did” I said. “Who gives a damn about Trevor when you’re with Adonis now Jasmine! Focus on that.” Hazel fussed. “Now, if you’re done fussing, help me get the rest of these shirts into the suitcase so we can get shit started!” Hazel ordered. “Fine, but don’t say I didn’t warn you” I replied putting the last folded shirt into Hazel’s suitcase, zipping it up.

 HAZEL

“Alright, so that’s everything” Erik said placing my heavy shoe bin onto the floor. “You sure you need all of this?” Erik questioned. “Yes baby I’m sure. You can never have too many shoes” I replied kissing his cheek. “Thank you!” I say walking into the kitchen. “Mind grabbing me a beer?” he called out, taking a seat on the couch to take off his shoes. I grabbed a bottle of water and a beer from the fridge. I took a seat next to Erik on the couch. “Thanks” he replied opening the bottle. I let out a deep sigh as Erik flipped through movies on Netflix.

Getting comfortable on the couch, I rested my legs across Erik’s as his rested on the table. Laying my head on his shoulder, I took in the scent of his Burberry cologne. Exhaling, I felt like I was at home, feeling settled in the moment. Erik’s left hand held onto the beer bottle, while his right hand rested on my backside, holding me. “Comfortable?” he asked. Nodding my head in agreement he placed a small kiss to my forehead as he took another sip of his beer. Letting out a low hum, I fixed my eyes to Netflix and enjoyed being in Erik’s presence. It’s been a chaotic day with moving, and I wanted nothing more than to relax with my man. Surprisingly, I didn’t want to engage in any of the physical tonight. I wanted to experience our first night in the house on some chill vibes, real talk. Jasmine’s advice loomed in the back of my mind, I hate that I lied to her, but the way she acted when I mentioned sex, I panicked. I honestly didn’t want to hear her story about bum ass Trevor, but I don’t want her to be right about Erik just because we shouldn’t let the apartment go. I may not make the best decisions emotionally when it comes to Erik, but I’m not stupid enough to let go of where I lay my head, just because we’re living together under one roof. I’m aware that there will be tension but I want to create a safe space for the both of us when times aren’t the happiest. My feelings are Erik are strong, and I want what’s best for us no matter how this ‘under one roof’ situation turns out.

I had little interest in what was on Netflix at the moment, Erik’s cologne and strong arms were intoxicating. The distraction of his scent and embrace caused me to grab the blanket that rested on top of the couch and drape it over my body. Erik paused the tv, placed his beer on the floor, and moved his legs from the table and, to the couch so that I could get comfortable and lay on top of him. “You tired?” he questioned adjusting the blanket over my body. “A little, we have been pretty active today” I say snuggling up under him to get comfortable. “You right” Erik replied placing another kiss to my forehead. “Get comfortable. We’re home now” he said grabbing his beer from the floor.

 Our cozy moment was interrupted by the click of a lock. “You sure you got it?” a female voice called out. “Yeah, get inside, don’t worry!” a male voice replied. I could feel Erik shift from up under me, and then he was gone. I opened my eyes to see Jasmine coaching Adonis, and Erik nowhere to be found. I pushed my hair out of my face to get a better look. “Sorry Haze, D is just bringing in the last of my things!” Jasmine called out. Adonis walked in, followed by Erik with boxes. “Thanks again bro” Adonis said. Placing the box down, Adonis looked over at the couch. “Hey Haze. I’m sorry to wake you” he said. “It’s fine” I replied taking the blanket off of me and walking into the kitchen to greet everyone. “That is the last of everything right?” Erik questioned. “Yeah, why?” Adonis asked. “Shit I’m tired, Haze was falling asleep on the couch. Ya’ll woke her up, and I was headed there myself” Erik replied brushing his hand through his dreads. “My bad. We’re all here now. I know nobody’s in the mood to cook, should we get some pizza?” Adonis asked.

 “Sounds good to me, I’m starving!” Jasmine called out. “Get some chips from the pantry babe, it may be a minute before the pizza is delivered” Adonis suggested. “What kind of pizza should we get?” Adonis questioned. “Meat lovers, you cool with that Hazel?” Erik asked. “It’s fine” I replied grabbing the blanket from the couch wrapping it around myself. Taking a seat on the barstool at the island, Adonis pulled out a pizza menu from the drawer.

 JASMINE

I grabbed a bag of chips from the pantry and a bottle of water. I sat next to Adonis at the island while he looked through the pizza menu. “You cool with meat pizza?” He asked me. “Yeah it’s fine, throw in some wings” I added. “Ya’ll cool with wings too? Buffalo?” Adonis questioned. “YES!” Erik and Hazel replied in unison. I chuckled to myself at the irritation in their voices, these two were tired as hell; and hungry. I’m surprised Hazel hasn’t gone off on Erik yet. “Alright so an extra large meat lovers pizzas and an order of buffalo wings. Got it!” Adonis said taking out his phone to place an online order.

Erik rolled his eyes, “He’s got the menu in his hand, why doesn’t he just call them instead?” Erik said irritated. “You know how he is, he feels like nobody answers the phone anymore, just chill E” I replied. “I’ll be drunk off beer by the time that pizza gets here” Erik said as he walked to the fridge to grab another beer. Hazel rolled her eyes at Erik, I noticed the empty beer bottle on the floor by the couch. Hazel didn’t seem too happy, she clutched the blanket around her tighter. “You’re awfully quiet chick. What’s up?” I asked. Hazel appeared to be in a daze, unhappy and unbothered. “Nothing, I’m just tired, and I’m hungry” she said annoyed. Erik took a sip of his beer and took a seat next to her. Erik stared at Hazel a moment, “You know how she is when she’s sleepy” Erik taunted. “But seriously, we have been at it all day with moving.” Erik clarified.

“Alright! The pizza is ordered!” Adonis said jumping back into the conversation. “So what’s up? How ya’ll feeling since we’re all moved in now” Adonis started. Adonis came behind me and leaned on me, holding me from behind placing small kisses to my neck. “Obviously not as good as ya’ll” Hazel chimed in. I shot a look at Hazel to not start, I hate it when she takes it there and fusses with Adonis. “Brat needs a nap” Adonis uttered. I hit his side out of reflex. “Why you starting shit? Go back to sleep on the couch” Erik added. “Better yet, take your ass to bed in my room” Erik commanded. “Fine! Everything was fine until they showed up anyway!” Hazel snapped, she kept the blanket close to her body and stormed off. “Hazel chill out!” I yelled, raising from my seat. “Or what?” she responded. “I didn’t convince Erik to bring ya’ll here for this. Cut the bullshit. It hasn’t even been 24 hours yet and you trippin. We’re all tired, and we’re all hungry. Just sit down so we can all talk. Erik, give this girl some dick tonight and make sure she gets some sleep!” Adonis huffed. Hazel sighed and proceeded to take her seat. I don’t know what transpired between Hazel and Erik while Adonis and I were gone, but I’m not dealing with this. I talked to her, and I made sure that she was ready for us to be under one roof, but clearly she’s not. I was so embarrassed to be in the same room with her, I know I’m gonna have to hear it from Adonis when we go to bed tonight. “Ya’ll know I’m not big on bad vibes, and I’m always up for a good time. I was thinking, since we’re all under one roof, we should have a kickback this Friday night to celebrate all of us getting together” Adonis suggested. “You know I’m down, I can always call my boy up for the drinks and you know I can get the crew together along with the honeys” Erik suggested. Hazel kissed her teeth. “I just want us to have a good time, get to know each other better. All of this negative shit, I’m not putting up with. If we’re gonna make decisions and have stuff like this, we all gotta be on one accord. Feel me?” Adonis questioned. “I hear you” Hazel responded dryly.

 “So what’s up with the honeys and the drinks for Friday?” Erik questioned. Hazel locked eyes with me, I could tell she was annoyed with Erik, who seemed to not give a damn about what came out of his mouth. Hazel rose from her seat and placed the blanket on to couch, “I’m going to bed. Keep me posted on the BOOZE and the HONEYS” Hazel said with emphasis before leaving the kitchen, clearly disgusted with Erik. Hazel’s footsteps going up the stairs grew faint, and a loud slam of the door followed.

 “Erik what the fuck!” I yelled. Erik brushed the dreads out of his face. “What Jas? What’s a party without liquor and women? I’m not sitting up here around no niggas and we just drinking.” Erik remarked. “That’s not the point! Why are you bringing up women right now? That’s disrespectful. She just moved in and she’s supposed to be your girl!” I snapped. “She is, but she’s gotta recognize that just because she’s my girl, it doesn’t mean that my life stops. She’s in my life and she’s in my house, she’s not gonna change every aspect of me, Jasmine” Erik retorted. I didn’t want to be rude in front of Adonis but if I saw this coming, I would’ve never agreed to Hazel moving in with him. He couldn’t have asked her to move in on “gentleman terms’, that bitch lied. “Erik, the least you could do is check on her” I suggested. “Check on her for what? She sleep. She doesn’t want to be bothered”  Erik mocked. Frustrated, I was seconds away from going off on Erik. I rose from my seat and left the table. “I’m done” I said walking towards Adonis and I’s bedroom.

 ADONIS

“You need to get your shit in check E” I warned. “Check what D?! Hazel knew this shit before she moved in with me, why should I change any of that now just because she lives here? My life doesn’t stop, and it doesn’t revolve around her. We see each other, we smash, and we happy. That’s that, alright? Now when we have this kickback, I’m contributing, booze and the honeys.” Erik stated. I shook my head in disappointment. “You not at work right now, you’re not assigned to any task nigga. You here in the suburbs! Off duty! This isn’t a “finish the job” command right now!” I emphasized.

“You made a decision to ask Hazel to move in, if you not feeling her like that, just tell her instead of treating her like she just some to do!” I added. “Bro, I know where the fuck I am! We’ve been here for a year now! I know we ain’t going nowhere anytime soon! I like Hazel, aight. Just let me do me, I don’t see her complaining!” Erik defended. “What did you call that before she walked out?! What did you call that when I showed Jasmine some affection?! What do you call that when you bring up other women and liquor when we’re talking about celebrating?! She’s jealous! She wants you and only your attention matters to her! Come on man, she ain’t the conquest type of chick and you know she feeling you.” I admitted. “Donnie, I know what I’m doing. You ain’t gotta check me bout no pussy, cuz it’s just that with us. Some live in pussy that comes with some high maintenance shit like my time” Erik shrugged off. “You need to check yourself, or you gone end up alone.” I warned. “Please, yo pussy whipped ass would say some shit like that. You can’t even move without Jasmine. Fuck I look like taking advice from you?!” Erik snapped.

 “You got it” I said defeated. I wasn’t in the mood to go back and forth with my clown ass brother. He’s always been hardheaded and impulsive about shit, always thinking of himself. Sadly, Erik has always been this way ever since he got that assassin job with the government. He’s been so detached from everything, treating everything like an assignment. He’s never going to plant roots if he’s always treating things as a disposal, like his job… treating everything in sight like a bounty. The past 4 years being away from Erik it’s given me time to realize that I can’t continue my career in boxing forever, one of these days I gotta sit my ass down. I still don’t know what the future holds for Jasmine and I but I want her to know that I got her regardless of what my career holds.

 Sharing a home with Erik for the past year has been a whirlwind since he’s been back, bringing this girl and that girl to the house, keeping “trophies” for a later date. In the beginning it was fun living this bachelor life, but ever since Erik brought Hazel and Jas home for dinner, I knew it was time to hang that shit up. I see how Erik looked at Hazel that night, and I know he has feelings for her, but this extra shit gotta stop. My brother can’t play with people’s emotions and time like that, he just needs to be honest with her, especially if he’s confident that he wants to keep this ‘bachelor’ lifestyle.

 **

HAZEL

Jasmine and I poured punch for the guests as more came in. Erik had a beer in his hand, entertaining the small crowd gathered around him. Adonis was on the other side of the kitchen making himself a plate of hot wings and rotel. “This is homegirl’s third cup of punch tonight, what the hell did you put in here Haze?” Jasmine asked me. “Girl a little bit of fruit juice and some vodka, a few slices of pineapple and oranges. Something to take the edge off tonight” I said to her pouring myself a cup.

 “It does look really good” Jasmine said eyeing my cup. “Get you a cup sis. I made a ton!” I replied. “You know I’m still doing that detox.” Jasmine laughed. “Oh yeah I forgot” I said to her. I grabbed a plate of wings and took a seat on the couch with Kourtney, Dre, Keith, and Brittany. We were all laughing at joking, discussing some of the awkward things that were going on in the house amongst the guests. Erik took a seat next to me. “Hey babe you want a wing?” I asked with a smile. “Nah, but if you could trade places with Kourtney, I’d like to sit next to her so that I can start up this conversation and everyone can hear me” Erik suggested. I furrowed my brow, “We can hear you loud and clear from here. What gives E?” I questioned.

 Ignoring me, Erik moves over next to Kourtney and starts talking to her. Brittany notices the expression on my face. “Girl what’s up with E? And why is his loud ass so close to Kourtney?” she questioned. “Hell if I know” I responded taking a bite out of my wing. I continued to eat when I felt a tap to my shoulder, “Mind if I sit here?” Jasmine asked. “Nah, sis go ahead” I said moving closer to Brittany. Jasmine took a wing off my plate and began to eat. I was about to check her when Kamryn decided to ask a question to the group. Focusing our attention to the center Kamryn asks, “Why are men prone to one night stands rather than commitment?”

 “Oh Lord here we go.” Brittany nudged. “Girl as long as Erik, Devin, or Orlando don’t chime in, I think we’ll be fine” I replied taking a sip of my punch. “I swear, they’re the last ones on earth who need to chime in on this” Brittany joked. Brittany hit my thigh quickly interrupting me, seeing that Erik was getting up and he was giving the bedroom eyes to Kourtney, I’m not sure what was said, but how he looked at her, I knew he was drunk and feeling himself. “I can answer that one Kam.” Erik said confidently with a macho-man stance. “Why would an eligible bachelor like myself want to settle down? I look good, I can fuck, and I have money. I don’t see myself being tied down to someone based off “emotions” and “love”. I’d rather get sex when I want it, not when it’s hung over my head and taken away from me as ‘punishment’. Fellas, you got to be out of your mind if you think commitment is the way to go when it’s pussy everywhere” Erik spoke confidently.

 I couldn’t believe my ears. I handed my plate of wings to Jasmine for her to finish and I chugged my drink. I decided to give my take on the matter. “Kamryn I do believe that men like Erik are afraid of commitment primarily because they can’t handle it. They can’t handle being with just one woman. Instead of maintaining a vibe overtime, they’d rather chase the thrill of it all, all for one night, and be done. They’d rather not get to know and understand the reward of one woman but rather the mystery of what lurks underneath the damsels in distress each night” I shot back. Erik chuckled, “Look Hazel, all a nigga looking for right now is a good time, and some sex on demand. Fellas, what’s the rush when you out here living yo best life?!” Erik beamed. Devin stood up and hit his beer bottle against Erik’s in agreement. “You damn right, to no commitments, and good sex!” Orlando said raising his beer bottle as other men followed suit.

 Mortified, I grabbed my plate from Jasmine and scurried into the kitchen quickly to dispose of the chicken bones. I opened every cabinet until I found a shot glass. I walked over to the punch bowl and found the opened bottle of Don Julio next to it, I poured myself a shot and took it down fast. As the liquor entered my chest, I locked eyes with Erik briefly and poured myself another shot. “Hazel! Hazel” a male voice called out, it was Keith. “Slow down baby girl, I see you throwing them back” Keith said with a smile. I shook my head, “I’m good. I’m just—” “Don’t pay any mind to what you heard with that discussion. You know Erik is just playing” Keith said in a comforting tone. “And I know he’s your boy. You know him better than I do, so you know he’s telling the truth. If he was truly my nigga, he wouldn’t say shit like that” I snapped. “Haze, he’s just being a man, he talks about you all the time—” I glared back into the crowd to see Erik’s arm over Kourtney’s shoulder. “All the time huh? You see where he’s at, and it’s not over here” I stated before walking away.

 I ventured out to the patio and decided to get some fresh air. I knew that my anger and liquor wouldn’t be a good combination, but it was best for me to get away from everyone. Keith’s half ass attempt to save Erik’s ass was unnecessary, Keith was lying through his teeth and he knew it. I took a seat on the sectional, fluffed the pillow that rested on my back, and turned on the makeshift firepit to calm my nerves, to give an ambiance to the stars in the sky. I’ve been having second thoughts lately about moving in, and I’m considering going home for the night to cool off. Keeping the apartment was the best decision I could’ve made, despite giving Jasmine the satisfaction that she was right. Lately, Erik has been more blunt than ever and he’s such an asshole when he drinks.

 Seeing everyone through the sliding glass doors, everyone was having a good time, except me. Sadly, I’m glad that everyone doesn’t know that Erik and I are together, and for the ones that do, I feel utterly embarrassed. I’m embarrassed period. I never thought that I’d have Jasmine’s biggest worry confirmed in this way. I’m too drunk to drive back to the apartment, and I refuse to let anyone here take me home. My best bet would be to take an Uber or Lyft to get me to my destination.

 I picked my phone up from the table and began scrolling through a few apps. I twirled my curly hair around my fingers just browsing, doing my best to not look at the screen door. My mind was honestly going crazy over the fact that I had been gone for 10 minutes and Erik hasn’t bothered to check on me. Sighing, I stretched and let out a yawn to see a familiar face taking a seat across from me. “Hazel, party of one” he said. I rolled my eyes in utter disgust. “What are you doing out here Adonis?” I questioned. “I came to get some fresh air, what do you mean?” he questioned. “Adonis please go. I came out here to be alone. Besides, you look just like the nigga who pissed me off. Go back inside before you get cussed out.” I warned. Adonis chuckled. “I’m not him, and I’m not moving. I genuinely came out here to check on you” Adonis admitted. “What?” I questioned in disbelief. “Erik been on some other shit lately, and I told him about his mouth. I came out here to apologize on his behalf, I don’t condone any of what he said. Hazel to tell you the truth, I was embarrassed for you. I’m not anything like my brother and I promise you, I won’t treat Jasmine like that and you don’t deserve that.” Adonis stated.

I sighed, “Yeah, thanks” I said simply. Adonis got up and took a seat next to me. “I just apologized to you about my clown ass brother and that’s all you gotta say is ‘okay thanks’?” Adonis chuckled. I looked down at my phone, “What do you want me to say?” I questioned. “I don’t know” Adonis smiled. “I’m just glad that you haven’t cussed me out yet” he admitted. “Adonis…” my voice trailed off, “I’m not in the mood to play right now, let alone talk” I said feeling myself getting emotional. The more I sat in Adonis’ presence, the more emotional I got thinking about Erik, the liquor was also a bad combination. “It’s more than just the embarrassment of tonight Adonis. I’m sorry, but I’m not in the best condition to talk about Erik, let alone look at you right now” I spoke in utter honesty. The disappointment in Adonis’ face was evident. “I’ll just have to accept that.” He stated as he moved away from me. “Just remember that, you’re the prize, the catch, one in a million” he said before leaving. The look in Adonis’ eyes showed deep regret, and a bit of mystery. I knew that he wanted to stay, but it was in my best interest that I be alone. I honestly don’t know if I could forgive Erik after tonight.

@soufcakmistress @liilbougievert @honeyandpeaches @goddessofthundathighs @nahimjustfeelingit-writes @adreamsublime  @mochaxmars @harleycativy @blackpinup22 @19jammmy @mbjfangirl @browngirldominion @woahitslucyylu @bigchoose @uzumaki-rebellion @luvwitoutlimit1 @honeytoffee @queenflaws @callmemckenzieee @kkrown @sleepyheadreblogs @cecereads209  @imanerdychubbyqueen @shaekingshitup @thickemadame @amorestevens @daddy-killmonger  @ladymac82 @killmonger-fics  @bigchoose  @themeirajay  @peachescoochie @msreshel @theemelanintrappp @supernovaah  @rbhp @just-peachee @just-juicee @laketaj24 @killmoncoochie @blackmissfrizzle @bakarilennox @whiskey-cokenfanfic @readinginsilence100 @shyblackgurl @muse-of-mbaku @hearteyes-for-killmonger @chaneajoyyy @savagesugaqueenxx-writes @readingaddict1290

[starcrossedxwriter]

Wicked Fantasies Part 11.1 (MBJ x OC)

A/N: Ummm so welcome backkk! This is 11.1 because there's a second part to this chapter (I know... my self control keeps getting worse lolol) But I hope you enjoy!

TW: grief

“I’m never fucking drinking again,” Raven moaned to herself as she stumbled out of the comforts of bed. She felt like hell, if hell had a truck run over its head a few dozen times. 

Raven generally considered herself an early riser but nothing could pull her out of bed that morning after what was, objectively, the dumbest night of her life. Part of her wished she had had one or two more drinks so she could have officially transitioned into the ‘blackout drunk’ phase. So that she would, at least, be spared the embarrassing memories. But no, every horrible moment of the night from dancing wildly at the bar to Michael saving her was etched into the crevices of her brain with shocking clarity. 

Now, it was after noon and Raven still found herself wanting to be curled under her blanket asleep so she could escape her embarrassment. 

A knock at the door pulled her out of her wallowing self pity. She did not make an attempt to move, expecting Tiffany to answer. However, when the voice of their landlord rang out and her knocking persisted, she quickly slid on her robe to open the door. She decided Mrs. Winters would have to get over the fact that she looked like death reincarnated. 

“Rough night, dear?” 

Raven grimaced for a moment, she did indeed look as terrible as she felt. 

“Something like that,” Raven offered a tight smile, her body slumping against the door. “W-what can I do for you, Mrs. Winters?” 

“Oh I’m just letting everyone know that we had a pipe burst on the floor above. We’ll have folks in and out and you might hear some noise and stuff. But if you see any leaking into your unit, give me a ring?” 

“Of course. Will do. Thanks, have a good one,” Raven tried her best to politely shoo the woman away. However, she lingered. 

“Oh I meant to tell you, that boyfriend of yours is just such a good egg. So kind and polite. Admittedly I haven’t met many famous people,” she laughed. “But you just don’t expect them to have such good manners, you know?” 

Raven stopped. “My boyfriend?? Sorry… When was he here?” 

“He stopped by this morning. Gave me a check for your rent for the rest of your lease. Oh and asked where your mailbox was, said he wanted to drop something in it.” 

Raven was worried her jaw might come completely unhinged as the woman spoke. 

He did what?? 

“Are you alright, dear??” 

“Y-Yea, yea. Just… a bit of a surprise. Thank you.” 

And with that, Raven immediately closed the door, not listening to the elderly woman’s reply. 

“This nigga… I hate him,” she muttered to herself as she slumped against her door. 

Every cell in her body knew that was not true. But she also knew that everything she had told him last night was still accurate. She was too tired to forgive him and not just him… anyone ever again. The world has used up all of her second chances and she did not have it in her heart to be disappointed by him again. The narrative in her brain was so set in stone, she did not think anything he could say or do would make her believe anything else. She could not even make herself go retrieve the note that was apparently waiting for her in her mailbox. 

“Such a coward,” she grumbled as she flopped back into bed. 

She stared at her phone for several minutes, her text thread with Michael open. She wondered what she could even say? Thank you?

She knew any conversations demanding she pay him back or he rescind the money would be moot. Even if she had the mental fortitude to argue with him right now, she would still lose. But she could not just accept it without trying to push back. 

She typed and erased and typed and erased before lamely landing on: 

Raven: You can’t pay my entire rent. I can’t accept that. 

Raven: I don’t want that.

Michael: Yea you can. Told you… gonna show up every day tryin’ to fix us. You just gotta let me.

Raven: Money isn’t gonna fix this, Michael. 

Michael: I know. But it can fix the tangible things I fucked up for you

Michael: So let me fix that for you. 

Raven paused, as a warm sensation filled her, a warmth she had not felt in over a month now. The warmth of being cared for. She had never had someone take care of her without wanting something in return, except Michael. Even when their relationship was built on transactions, he still took care of her without needing or asking for something from her. The book deal, her rent were just the tangible examples of how he had stepped up to right the wrongs he could and she could not deny that those actions meant something, softened something inside her. 

He was doing exactly what he promised he would do the night before. He was fixing what could be, he was showing with his actions that she meant something to him. And yet, that blockade that stopped that belief from taking root was still there, still prohibiting her from believing these actions were anything more than a skilled manipulation. 

He would draw her back in, he would not change, and when he got ready, he would hurt her again. That’s what everyone in her life did. 

Raven: It doesn’t change anything

Michael: I know… didn’t expect it to.

She tossed her phone to the side and grabbed her pillow, screaming into it as her frustration got the better of her. The complex web of conflicting feelings with Michael B. Jordan trapped at its center only continued to grow. She wanted him to let her go, to stop caring and trying and going out of his way for her because that fit into the narrative nailed to the cross of her brain, it would confirm her beliefs and fears. 

But instead he continued to do the things that made her fall in love with him the first time, things that only reignited the dimmed but still existent flame that was her love for him. And she knew she would never get over him if she kept letting that happen, kept letting him in. 

So she did not even respond. Instead, she just closed the thread and tossed her phone to the side. 

“Let him go, Rae,” she demanded to herself. “You don’t deserve him and he doesn’t love you.” She repeated that a few times before it felt real again, before all that had started to soften was once again as solid as a block of ice. 

***

“You look like shit,” Alex moaned as she watched Michael’s makeup artist, Shanta, struggle to make him look less like a living zombie ahead of his Oprah interview. 

They were tucked away in a suite in Oprah's sprawling LA estate. It was difficult to make Michael feel poor but Oprah was certainly one of the few people in the world who could do so. 

“Thanks, appreciate that.” 

“You know I don’t believe in lying to you. Make sure you get those bags under his eyes,” she instructed. “Alright, this is it. Final stretch. Movie’s out and every review is stellar so far. Do this interview, it’ll air this week, Oscars on Sunday and then you can sleep. Though I bet it’s not the schedule keeping you up? Talked to her since the premiere?” 

Michael forced his body not to sag at the mention of Raven as to not disturb the hard work of the woman trying to make him look alive after days of no sleep.  

“She texted me about the rent thing the next morning. But it’s been radio silence ever since.” 

It had only been a few days since the fiasco after the premiere but Michael’s concern for Raven had not diminished one bit. He  could not let her go as she requested but he tried his hardest to respect her desire for space. His heart was stuck in the quicksand that was Raven and he had no desire to pull himself out. He wanted to be right there. He knew eventually he would have to accept defeat, accept that she had moved on. But he could not do it while she still questioned her own deservedness. She could hate him for the rest of his life, it would be her right. But his soul could not allow her to live thinking so lowly of herself. So if he had to pay 30 years of rent or call in favors to make her life easier and make her see that she deserved care and someone to sacrifice for her, he would do it. It was high time someone in her life put her above themselves. 

“Well, at least she talked to you. That’s something. You’re doing what she asked. Sis has lived a life, she needs time and space. Keep doing what you're doing. Except for the no sleep. For the love of God, by the Oscars, please get a good night’s rest. That’s your night.” 

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, Alex…” 

She scoffed. “You’ve won the big four, Mike. It’s not just because I believe you deserve it… Statistically, Best Actor is yours. The Oscars is your night. Have a little faith in yourself.” 

“I hear you. I just don’t wann-” 

“Excuse me?” A young man poked his head in the door. “Apologies for interrupting. I’m a PA. Just wanted to let you know that we’re almost ready? I can take you out to the garden when you’re ready.” 

“Be right out. Thank you,” Alex called. 

Shanta did her last quick finishing touches before Alex gave him her customary once over. 

“Shanta, my girl, you’re a miracle worker per usual.” 

They both offered Shanta their thanks, Michael rolling his shoulders before heading out the door to walk out to the gardens. 

He had met and interviewed with Oprah once before so he was not particularly nervous. But despite having done millions of interviews, there was always a kernel of nerves right beforehand that he could just never shake. 

He was dressed in slacks and a light black sweater, thankful for a cooler day as he walked out into her expansive gardens where the Oprah Winfrey waited for him. The cameras were already rolling, capturing footage that may or may not make into the hour-long special. 

“The man of the hour!” she called, her arms stretched wide to wrap Michael in a hug. “Actually I think man of the year is more appropriate. Welcome. I can’t tell you how excited I am to have you here.” 

“Thank you, thank you. It’s so good to be here.”

“Have a seat,” she gestured at the very comfy chair across from hers. “And we can jump right in.” 

***

Raven’s head was propped against her fist as she stared at her computer. A sentence. That was the grand total of her hard work for that Wednesday afternoon. But it was something, she supposed. Weeks of hard work had amounted to maybe two or three pages of her book. She had been offering Angelina vague answers on her progress, ducking and dodging her to avoid admitting that there was no way in hell she could have a draft by March 15 like they talked about. 

“Rae? You busy?” 

She turned in her chair toward the door to find Tiffany’s head poking in. 

“Nope… I’ll never be busy again at this rate,” she grumbled. “What’s up?” 

“I just turned on the interview… if you want to watch?” 

Raven scratched her head, unsure if she could even watch him? See him happy and thriving without her? Despite everything happening between them though, she could not pretend there was not a part of her that still wanted to celebrate this moment in his career. Interviewing with Oprah the week he was poised to win his first Oscar? How could she ever forgive herself if she did not watch this? Even if it hurts? 

“I’ll… be there in a sec. Thanks, Tiff.” 

Raven let out a deep sigh before she grabbed the blanket off her bed and dragged herself to the living room. The interview had already started and he looked gorgeous. Tired, she could tell, in the way he constantly had to readjust his posture, in the bags under his eyes that the makeup artist could not quite fully cover. But even at his worst, he looked captivatingly good. 

Raven found herself studying him so intently that she did not even comprehend the words he and Oprah were sharing. She just watched him and his mannerisms, she focused on the glimmer in his eyes that sparked every so often. She missed looking into his eyes, missed how expressive they were.  

This moment only amplified how much she missed him, missed hearing the deep baritone in his voice and the spark in his eyes when he spoke about his passions. She missed his bright and uninhibited laughter, how his hands were always on her in some way. She just missed him. But she had pushed him away, had told him to let her go. And even if he had not fully let go of her yet, she felt too scared to open that door again, even if her soul ached for her to. Particularly when he continued to try to show up for her in small ways. 

And despite how angry she still wanted to be at him, she had never had anyone show up for her quite like this… try for her like he did. And everyday, her brain took up far more mental space than it should have, debating whether she should follow her foolish heart and forgive him or listen to her logical brain and cast him aside. Days passed and she still did not know the answer. 

“So I’ll admit,” Raven’s ears finally started to pick up the conversation between Oprah and Michael, “I watched Waves more times than appropriate. But Gayle and I saw it at Sundance and we both thought it was just the most heartbreaking and poignant look at loss and grief that we had ever seen. While still being engaging and funny and so relatable. The journey your character goes through is just… I mean I think grief is one of the few universal experiences that we all will have at some point. And you really brought that to life through this character and his struggles with addiction. And the fact that you filmed this while engaged in completely different projects with complex characters like Killmonger in Black Panther and Adonis in Creed 3… I’m curious what you pulled from to give that performance?” 

Michael shifted in his seat as he chuckled, Raven had missed how passionate he got about this project, even though he had been talking about it and doing press for it since they first started dating. She knew he had not truly expected the role to blow up in the ways it did but she could tell he was grateful for it, nonetheless. 

“Well first, thank you. Yea aside from Oscar Grant, Andre was the hardest character I’ve ever played and he stretched me as an actor in ways, you know, I didn’t really expect? And I learned so much from him in his sort of journey through grief. You know, when I read the first script, the line ‘grief is the final stage in love’s evolution,’ really stuck out to me. When you lose someone, grief, this enduring pain you feel, is that love shifting and changing because it has nowhere to go, there’s no outlet for it anymore. And so, Andre really reframed my own thoughts on grief and loss and how I process that and allowed me to pull from personal experiences with loss to pour into that character.” 

“Yea I will say, that line was one of my favorites. I sat with that long after the credits rolled.” 

“Yea same. I remember sitting a-and thinking about that one for a while after reading it. And I loved that even in the more comedic moments of this movie, we still had those lines that made you wanna stop and really sit with what the characters were going through.”  

“Definitely, I was dissecting this movie for weeks after. It’s just amazing. So I do want to shift gears to talk about this moment you're experiencing because of this movie. This really is the biggest moment of your career. You’re nominated for your first Oscar and a favorite to win, so far in 2023, you’ve won a SAG Award, Golden Globe, and BAFTA. And you, as of two days ago, just had your directorial debut in Creed 3. First question, how are you still awake?” Both of them shared a laugh. “But serious question, how has this moment felt? How does it feel to be having this moment at this stage of your career?” 

“Oh wow, when you list it like that, I don’t know how I’m awake either,” he chuckled. “But seriously, you know… it’s been a ride. I know you’ve felt this too but you know, you don’t often take a moment to just pause and soak it in. You finish one interview or award show and your mind automatically just jumps to the next one. And I think what I’ve been trying to force myself to do in the later weeks of this insane time is just to slow down and enjoy it. Not rush through it and really enjoy the fruits of… really years of hard work and sacrifice. But that also means sitting with… you know, the challenges of this time too, which isn’t as rewarding,” he admitted with a sad smile. “But I’m growing and learning alot so it’s worth it.” 

Oprah nodded. “You know I always appreciate when people don’t let the 24 hour news cycle and gossip sort of steal their thunder and moment from them. And I applaud you for sort of moving through the more gossipy side of the last few months with grace and maturity. But you haven’t really talked much publicly about those stories and the effect they have had on you. And you don’t have to get into it if you don’t want but I am curious on how you navigated that and really came out on the other side, from what I can see, stronger for it?”

Michael bowed his head and chuckled. “Um… you know a good friend of mine told me that she thought this was the most vulnerable and most genuine I had ever been publicly on this press tour and I think it’s because I’ve had to navigate some really personal stuff during this great but hectic public moment? And that’s new territory for me.” 

“And I think that friend is right. I don’t think we have seen or learned this much about you ever.” 

“Yea and I wish I could take some credit for it but… it was all one person: Raven Turner. And the way we met, now as the world knows, was extremely unconventional and I can admit that our relationship started as a complete lie. A lie I thought would help me be seen as this serious, mature man my team was worried I wasn’t. And I wasn’t,” he admitted. “I was cold and guarded and not at all the best version of myself. And while I regret how we started and trying to fool the world into thinking I’m something I’m not, there isn’t a bone in my body that regrets falling in love with her.” 

He leaned forward a bit as he spoke. “Because all those walls and barriers we build around ourselves to survive in this world of Hollywood? To endure the criticisms and insanity we deal with? She's the first woman to see me. Not the actor and the money and the fame but just me. And in that, she saved me… without trying or intending to. She just loved me and loving her, choosing her is the single greatest decision I ever made. And I hate how this moment has fallen on her, how my terrible decisions led to these pretty disgusting misogynistic attacks on her. And I think my biggest regret is putting someone as pure as her in the line of fire like that and not doing enough to protect her. And you know, I have to live with that, which is tough.” 

“You know I’ve interviewed thousands of people in my career and while I believe you have to change for yourself and on your own, I also have found that the ones who love us, really love us, are often the most powerful catalysts for change in our lives. I’ve certainly seen and experienced that in my own life and it’s important to spotlight those who were that catalyst.” 

“Oh 100%. Especially when, I think this version of me was always there? I was just too hurt to trust anyone with it, so no one saw it. I buried me under this facade I thought was better? But I fell in love with a woman who taught me that you can’t be guarded, you can’t shut down just because you’re hurt. Life is about getting up every day, being authentically you, and reaching out and loving and risking your heart every time. And sometimes you’ll get swatted away and sometimes you’ll get an embrace. But you just deny yourself love when you don’t show up at all. So I’ve been trying to live by that more lately. Because she showed me what real strength and courage looks like. And I want to have that, I want to lead with that.” 

“Wow… you know people are going to watch this and I think, applaud that vulnerability. It’s refreshing to me because I don’t think our world incentivizes or encourages people to admit when they aren’t being their best selves. So I think for you to do that, at a moment when you’re at the top of your game, is commendable.” 

“She deserves to know the positive effect she’s had on my life. To be celebrated for how she supported me. And you know it’s not just me? When we first started dating, I remember her one stipulation was that we couldn’t go out on Wednesday evenings because she hosted a book club for kids at the library she worked at. And that was the most important thing to her, being there for them. The day of our first date, she spent an hour delivering books and SAT prep books to those same kids she worked just because. There’s just a selflessness to her that is truly admirable. And I think while people are attacking her and calling her these vile names because she made a certain choice during a hard time, they should know who she really is. A woman that would drop everything to help you even when you don’t really deserve it. A woman who I’ve seen give others all she had because they needed it more even when she did not have a backup plan for herself. I could honestly talk about her for the rest of this interview because she deserves celebration far more than I ever could. Genuinely good people don’t always get the shine they deserve, they don’t always get the love and care they deserve because we can often take them for granted. But no one deserves to be celebrated more than her, to be celebrated loudly more than she does.” 

“I love that… she seems like quite the woman.” 

“She is… and I hope she knows that.” 

“So tell me about…” 

The words faded away as his words tumbled through Raven’s head. They clashed jarringly against every belief she had internalized about herself, like metal against metal. But she found herself wanting to believe him. Believe the words a section of the world just heard. She wanted to believe that what he saw in her, even over the course of six months, was who she truly was. Not this broken, damaged scapegoat life had fashioned her into. 

There has to be more than this, right? 

Tiffany nudged her with a box of tissues in her hand. Raven had not even realized she was crying but she accepted them gratefully. 

“Don’t know how I still have tears over this man left,” she whispered as she wiped her eyes. 

“I don’t think those tears are because of him, sis.” 

Raven sniffled and grabbed another tissue. “You m-might be onto something. I can’t watch anymore. Night, Tiffany.” 

However, before she reached her bedroom, she heard Tiffany call her name. 

“I know what he did… sucks. And hurts. But that’s a man who loves you, Rae. More than anything. After that? The only person in the world who still won’t believe it is you.”

She turned around to face her, the back of her hand wiping away a few more stray tears. “You know he said the same thing?” 

“Well, I generally don’t think actors are that smart,” Tiffany admitted with a laugh. “But he’s right about that. You deserve to believe good things about yourself, we all do.”

“Nothing good has ever lasted… I always ruin it somehow. I tried to believe I deserved him and life proved that I didn’t,” she answered, her voice small. “D-Don’t have it in me to try again.” 

“Raven… I know we aren’t best friends or anything. But how many times have I watched you forgiven your dad and sister? Let them back in, try to make things right with them? Try to build the family you want?” 

“Too many…” 

“Right… So why does Michael only get one shot when you found the strength to give them 100? When he’s the one actually showing up for you? He’s the one who actually is trying to earn another chance?”  

“It’s not that simple and you know it.” 

“I know that the only person denying you happiness right now… is you. You push away the good people and things in your life because you feel like you don’t deserve it but no one would be here if you didn’t. Michael, the kids in your book club… me. I don’t keep signing leases with you because you’re a terrible person who ruins everything, no one has a gun to our heads, Rae. We’re here because you do deserve it.” 

“Tiff…” 

“Nope, shut up. This pity party is getting old and tired. It doesn’t matter what I think of you… or what Michael thinks or anyone out there.” She gestured toward the window. “All that matters is the narrative you’ve created and until you decide to believe something else, all you’re going to do is push people away and fuck up and self sabotage because it’s all you think you deserve. You gotta wake up and do some fucking work, girl. Cause until you figure out how to erase this narrative from your brain, you’ll never be happy. And you’ll never fall in love with anyone except for someone who treats you like crap. You’ll never build your own family. You’ll never finish your book or have another fulfilling career. You’ll just be stuck in this broken version of yourself alone… forever. And I’ve seen a few different versions of you over the last two years but this is by far the most pitiful.”

Raven had never heard Tiffany be so blunt. The words were biting but she could not deny that some of them rang true in her ears. And that was always the hardest information to hear. 

“Damn… tell me how you really feel.” 

“The soft gentle love wasn’t resonating clearly so had to go with a different tactic…. Just think about it. And once you fix all this shit and move to a mansion in the hills, don’t forget about me.” She winked at her, causing Raven’s jaw to drop slightly. 

“How do you even know that’s gonna happen?” 

She shrugged and grabbed the remote to press play, Raven not even noticing that she paused it.

“Just got a good feeling about the two of you. Now go so I can lust after him in peace while he's still single. Kidding! Kinda..."

Raven let out a small laugh as she shook her head. "I know you're not kidding. Night, Tiff.” 

She slid into her bed, her only refuge of late, and stared at the ceiling. She was surprised she was not tired of looking at it by now. Michael and Tiffany’s words wrestled with her own thoughts for hours

What was her problem, really? It was not that what Michael did was unforgivable because it wasn’t. Some distant part of her, too quiet to break through the noise of her anger, always wondered if there was more to the story, believed that he had to have had some reason. But she was too angry to allow him to explain. It just became vicious ammunition that no one could ever love her or care about her… that she was the problem. 

Well, that’s true… no one’s ever loved you. And everyone who does leaves. 

She supposed her mother must have loved her, but she would never know. She would never feel it. And her grandmother’s love was so distant, so long ago, that it no longer felt tangible, was no longer a tether to anchor her self worth to something positive.

Instead, the only thing that tethered her sense of self worth to anything was her family’s disdain. Disdain that made her question what Michael could’ve seen in her, how he could ever love someone like her? That disdain which made it far easier to believe that what he did was proof that he did not love her than that he possibly did do it to protect her in some weird way. No other thought could live long enough in her brain to take hold. 

And she did not know if doing what Tiffany suggested would fix that. There was not enough time in the world for her muster the courage to interrogate and confront the source of these feelings. She had hoped she would never have to see her family again. Some days, never felt like too soon.

But she knew she could not avoid it. They were the root cause, the narrative in her head was fueled and sustained by them. And screaming at them across the Thanksgiving table and never speaking to them again was not the closure she needed. She thought she had dropped the weight that was her family when she cut them off. But she was still dragging all the luggage they gave her around and it was time to give it back. 

She knew her family did not want to see her either, knew it would be difficult to get them to even speak to her after everything. But she knew she had to try… because she knew there had to be more to life than this. That she had not been born to only suffer through life instead of live it. So she needed to confront her demons for herself, even if her relationship with them did not change one bit.  

She grabbed her computer and her wallet. It was time to go home.

***

Raven’s eyes remained trained on her dad’s house across the street as she sat in her rental car. She was almost shocked that none of her family’s nosy neighbors had not called the police yet as she sat there for nearly an hour, summoning the courage to actually go inside. 

She had felt so sure this was what she needed when she bought her plane ticket. And that confidence did not waver when she stepped onto the plane or during the long journey from LAX to Charlotte, NC. However, once she was in her rental car, she found herself waffling, aimlessly driving around for hours. Her brain seemed unable to direct her to the place she knew she needed to go. Home. 

She just could not make herself do it… not yet anyway. So she did not. Instead, she finally went to her hotel to try to get some rest and her night’s rest turned into the entire Friday holed up in her hotel. She had not booked a return ticket, prayerful and hopeful that there would be a reason to stick around for a few days. But that also meant she did not have the incentive of time to make her move faster. 

But she could not even make herself do this. Because she did not know how to be brave like this. Her life had been nothing but running from pain and confrontation. This was so contrary to that. She did not know how to do any of this. She tossed and turned all night, unable to get any sleep particularly when there was only one person who she wanted to talk to, wanted to seek courage and strength from. Because when she felt scared, when she did not feel strong, he was the only person she wanted to reach for. But she was not sure he would even answer. She had pushed him away, told him she needed space. 

But she had not felt like she could do this alone. So last night, she called him. 

“Rae! Everything ok?” he asked immediately, his question met with silence. 

Raven did not know what to say and regret filled her like ice water in her veins. But she knew it was too late to hang up, she had to see it through. She paid for that moment of weakness when she hit the call button as her throat closed at the sound of her voice. She found it impossible to speak, even if she knew what words to say.  

“I’ll wait until you’re ready, Rae. Got all night for you.” 

And she knew he was not just talking about waiting for her to speak. 

“Why?” she whispered, the simple word coming out in a strangled sound as she tried to push past the tightness in her throat. 

“Why what?” 

“Why even answer after everything I said to you? W-why do you keep trying?” 

“Because I love you,” he answered simply. “And you’re worth it. I’ll keep reaching out, baby girl. Even when you swat me away.” 

“You might be the only person who thinks that,” she whispered back as a tear fell. 

“I don’t think that’s true. But even if it was, knowing one person is in your corner is all you need sometimes.”

She laughed lightly. “That press tour got you only speaking in motivational boxing terms or something?” 

His deep laughter filled her ears and filled her soul with such joy that she had forgotten. She had forgotten what these moments felt like, the two of them on the phone or curled up together in bed, just talking. She missed it… she missed him. But she could not say it, could not bring herself to pull her body out of the water to make that long trek back up the cliff to where he waited for her. Everything in her brain screamed at her that she couldn’t do it, that she did not have it in her. And she hated herself for it. Hated how she clung to the ice barriers around her heart, even though they were utterly fractured and ready to fall. She just was not ready yet. 

She let out a shuddering breath as she hastily wiped away her falling tears. “I… don’t know why I called. I s-shouldn’t have called.”

“Call me anytime, Rae. I’ll always answer. I’ll always show up for you. I hope you know that… at least.” 

“Y-Yea… I think I do… or at least, it’s getting harder to deny it,” she revealed. “Your interview with Oprah… it was really good,” she offered lamely. 

“You watched??” she could hear the surprise in his voice. 

“Yea… I almost didn’t,” she admitted. “But I caught most of it. Did you mean it? Everything you said?” 

“Every single word.” There was no arguing with the definitive tone in his voice. “I get that you don’t trust me anymore. I lied and kept secrets. But one thing I never lied about is how much I love you.”  

Her eyes clenched shut for a moment. That was one thing he had always been consistent about, her ears had just been perpetually shut to it. 

“I… um… I gotta go. Early day tomorrow,” she lied as she sniffled. “I’m sorry for bothering you. Bye, Michael.” 

She was not sure what she had expected to get from that call and, at first, it felt as if she only got a firm kick in the heart for it. But for the first time since she landed, Raven had enough strength to finally drive to her family’s house. She had rolled her eyes at his boxing motivational quotes but hearing someone say they were in her corner, that had given her courage. To just feel like someone was behind her, even if she was alone, that meant something to her. 

She took a deep breath and got out of her car, forcing her legs to carry her to the front door. 

Her rounds of knocks went unanswered, Raven getting slightly frustrated but determined not to leave the porch. If she turned around and walked away, she’d never come back. 

After an extremely brief internal debate, she decided to simply let herself in, deciding that since she contributed to the mortgage, she had a right to come in as she pleased. And her father still, foolishly, kept a spare key underneath the welcome mat.

Though she had not been to her family’s home in two years or so, it still looked the same. Her father’s favorite work boots were thrown haphazardly at the door, several pairs of her sister’s shoes lined up next to them. She was an utter mess but she was, at least, somewhat neat. And it still felt… cold. And it had nothing to do with the cold winter east coast weather. The house had always felt like that, void of warmth and love that made a home a home. 

“Kiara?” she called out. “Dad?” However, she was met with utter silence. 

Part of her supposed she was thankful they were not home and that they had not just ignored her or something. She stood in the living room, staring around the room at the pictures that lined the walls and shelves. So many of her mom, her dad, and Kiara but there were none of her. That was not a surprise, it had always been that way. But that did not make it sting any less. All they had ever wanted was to erase her from their lives and if a stranger walked into this house, it would be as if she never existed.

She started up the stairs, her eyes refusing to linger long on any of the photos there. They were all lies anyway, a picture perfect family that did not exist because she had been born. She decided to ascend to the attic once she made it upstairs. Because that was where all her grandmother’s and some of her own things now lived. She had never really gone through her grandmother’s things after she passed, no one aside from her dad to pack them up. But she knew there was so much of their lives, so many memories she had forgotten of the one person who loved her, forgotten in those boxes that she now desperately needed to remember. 

She ignored how narrow the opening to the attic was, realizing that it had been easier to maneuver up here when she was a young teenager. Everything was still neatly packed away as if her grandmother would be back one day to pick it up. 

She started to open each box, pulling out and examining her grandmother’s things, so many beautiful things forgotten in this attic no one went into. For the first time in nearly two decades, she felt close to the only maternal figure she had ever had, felt like her grandmother’s hand was on her shoulder as she reminisced on their short but well-lived time together. 

She found the old costume jewelry her grandmother used to let her play with, laughing to herself as she thought back to dressing up in front of her vanity mirror pretending to be a model or whatever silly idea the pair had thought up. She almost cried as she found a very crumpled piece of paper with the last story she gave her grandmother to read before she died, a random short story that she had written for class. She had not realized, as she found a folder, just how many of her stories her grandmother had kept. 

A gold glint caught her attention, Raven reaching into a giant box to find a shoe box. Raven had seen that box 100 times but her grandmother had never let her touch it, claiming that it held priceless family heirlooms that she did not want Raven or Kiara to mess up. Raven rolled her eyes that something her grandmother had valued so much had been discarded and forgotten haphazardly at the bottom of this box. 

Finally giving into her childhood curiosity, she opened it. It was still filled with things, part of her thankful that Kiara had never found it. The jewelry and pieces in it were gorgeous and indeed priceless. She took her time as she examined each one, wondering if they had belonged to her mother or her grandmother or some other relative she never met. However, it was what existed underneath the jewelry that caught her eye: piles of tied up envelopes, one with her name on it and one with Kiara’s. 

The handwriting was not her grandmother’s, which made Raven even more curious. 

She pulled out the stack with her name on it and undid the thin ribbon that tied them together. There were ten letters there in total, each one with a different note scribbled on the envelope. 

To Raven on your 18th birthday 

To Raven on high school graduation 

To Raven after your first love 

To Raven after your first heartbreak

To Raven on college graduation 

To Raven on your wedding day 

She only had to flip through a few of them to realize who they were from. Her mom. 

“You’re killing me,” she muttered to the sky, unsure if she was speaking to God, her grandmother, her mother or all three. 

Her hands trembled slightly as she ripped open the one on top, addressed to her on her 18th birthday. These were some of the only words her mother would get to say to her, she did not care how long ago she should have read it. She would savor each one. 

To my sweet darling girl, 

If you are reading this, it means that I am not physically there with you on your birthday. It means that I’ve missed 18 birthdays and too many milestones to write a letter for and for that, I am sorry. You might be wondering why there is not a letter for all those milestones and birthdays that have taken place but this felt like the best place to start and the appropriate age for reading the musings of a dying woman. If there’s even such a thing.

We learned your gender today. Another sweet girl. If the doctor somehow got it wrong, these letters will be incredibly awkward. But I know they are right. Because you, my darling girl, are the manifestation of my wildest dreams. I dreamed of you almost a year ago, this beautiful girl with half my face but all of my spirit and personality. And every night since then, I prayed, begged God to make that dream a reality… no matter the cost. And he did. 

I know my body is not strong enough to be your mother, to be around to be the mother someone as brilliant as you will deserve. But I hope you know that deciding to have you and keep you, regardless of the risks, is the single greatest decision I ever made. You were not an accident or a misfortune given to me. You are my dreams. And if my last moments on this earth are spent looking at you, it will have been worth it. 

I waited until 18 to start these letters because I worried a child could never understand the choice I made. And you may still not. And if you resent me for leaving you before you could know me, I understand that too. But I hope that through these letters, you will get to know me. And you will feel some semblance of the immense love I have for you. 

I don’t have much advice because you’ve likely heard it all at this point. But the two most important things I can tell you, that I wish someone had told 18 year old me, is to know that failure is part of the journey. Your grandmother used to always tell me to keep reaching out your hand even if it doesn’t work. I didn’t really understand it soon enough but I hope you do. Life is about risks and if you don’t reach out your hand out of fear, you’ll protect yourself from pain but you will also miss out on the gifts God is trying to hand you. As a daughter, I hated to admit it, but mama was right about that… and so many other things. 

And finally, more importantly than anything else I could offer you in these letters, please remember every day that you are so, so loved. 

Know that regardless of what happened to me, I loved you with every fiber of my being until my last breath. Know that you were a gift from God. And every day you venture out into this world, know that you are worthy of so much because you were so loved from the moment you were dreamed up. Do not let anyone or whatever will happen to you in what I pray is a long, rich, happy life diminish that light, diminish your worth. I know how special you are and I don’t even know your name yet. And while I hope that your father and grandmother will affirm you daily, you don’t need other people to tell you that you are special. You have to know it for yourself. That’s the most important advice I can give you. Know who you are and your worth and take up as much space in this world as you want. And as long as you never forget how special you are… how deserving you are, you’ll move through this world shining bright. And the world will be forced to know it too and move to give you what you deserve. It’s not much and a bit cliche perhaps but I’ve been torn down enough to know that sometimes we all need the reminder. But those are stories for another letter. 

By the time I write my next letter, I promise I will have picked out a name for you. I read a book the other day where the main character was named Raven… I had not thought of it before but I like it. 

Happy Birthday. 

Love, 

Mom

The river of tears streaming down Raven’s face splashed against the slanted handwriting on the page, Raven quickly whisking them away so the words would remain legible. Raven did not even know how long she sat there staring at the words on the page, her heart bursting with the knowledge that her mother’s hand had touched this very paper, that she had poured her heart and soul into every word etched into it. 

It was like proof she had been real and not this entity Raven had conjured up in her head. Raven could not stop herself from ripping open all the ones that she should have gotten along the way. The one for her first love and the separate one on heartbreak were four pages each, and Raven did not pay attention to the clock as she absorbed each and every word. 

Everything she had learned about her mother had been through her grandmother and she had always wondered if her grandmother told her things just to make her feel better. But she realized that her grandmother had been telling the truth, she and her mother were so much alike. She found herself nodding and laughing along to her mother’s stories and wisdom embedded in all those pages. She was a prolific storyteller too and an amazing writer, another trait Raven realized she must have inherited from her.

For the first time in 30 years, Raven did not feel weighed down by this unbearable guilt. She felt lighter than she had ever been in her entire life. Perhaps this was what God wanted her to find here, not a confrontation with her family, but these words. This tangible proof that her mother had chosen her, wanted her… loved her and that she had not ruined anything at all. 

Her mother would not have wanted her to carry such guilt around for so long because there was nothing to be guilty about. 

The letters were scattered across the attic floor when she heard the faint sound of their garage opening. She quickly folded up all of her letters and stuffed them back into the box, tucking it under her arm as she climbed out of the attic. She did not make much noise as she closed up the attic, just as she heard her father and sister close the garage door and enter the kitchen. 

Their voices drifted up to her ears as she started to climb down the stairs, deciding that she might as well get the pure unpleasantness of this moment over with. 

“Wait… you hear that? Is someone in the house??” she heard her sister ask, knowing that they both could hear her footsteps against the old floorboards. 

“Don’t get your gun,” she called out as she started down the stairs. “It’s just me.” 

She was greeted with less-than-welcoming expressions from her family, such disdain that it made her want to scurry away. But she did not. She had done enough of that in her life.

“Adding breaking and entering to your criminal activity, now?” 

Raven scoffed as she placed the box on the kitchen counter that stood between her and her family. 

“Don’t think you can break into a house you helped pay for?” she answered coolly. “And I’m not the one with a mug shot here if I remember correctly.” 

“No you’re just the one who sold her cheap ass for a quick buck.” 

Raven shook her head, opening and closing her mouth for a few moments as she tried to find the words. 

“Yea I did… And I’m not proud of it,” Raven admitted. “But I won’t let you or anyone shame me for doing what I needed to do to survive. What helped the two of you survive too.” Raven scratched her head, realizing that trying to get closure from her family was unnecessary. Her mother’s words had given her all the closure she had ever needed. That’s what she had come home for. 

“You know, I got a plane ready to rip you both a new one for 30 years of abuse and torture. To try to force you to admit that I’m not the villain you made me to be. But… I don’t need that anymore. Because the cross of guilt and shame you two forced onto my back for all these years isn’t one I should have to carry. But I did because I thought it was the only way to keep you two around. And even without you two in my life, I still drag that cross around because I thought I deserved it. But I realized today, way too late, that I don’t need a damn thing from either of you to put it down.” 

“So you came here to what? To chastise us and steal?” her father asked, gesturing toward the box on the counter. 

“You can’t steal things that belong to you. These are letters mom wrote to me,” she lifted the open letters out before sliding the unopened pile to her sister. “And to you.” 

“Your mother wrote these?” he asked, his jaw tensing as he looked down at the stack. 

“Yeah, she did. You’ll enjoy yours… she was a really good storyteller,” she glanced at Kiara. “These letters just told me something I should’ve realized long before Thanksgiving. That cross? That guilt? It isn’t mine. And I am done wasting my life trying to rectify the mistake of being born. Because it wasn’t a mistake. She chose me… prayed for a second daughter knowing the cost and she decided it was worth it. And hearing her say that? That’s all I need to know that I deserve so much more than this… so much more than you.” She took a deep breath. “Being a grieving husband isn’t an excuse to be a terrible father and I’ll just be grateful I found some way to survive you and this. And jealousy doesn’t give you the right to be a shitty sister.” 

“What the fuck do I have to be jealous of??” 

“I always wondered that. But reading those letters… I finally got it. Because even as a failed author and prostitute, I’m everything she was. Grandma used to always say I had her personality… her talent. I always thought she was lying to make me feel better. But you knew she wasn’t and you could never stand it. Couldn’t stand that I was more like her than you.” For the first time, her sister was speechless. A good look on her in Raven’s opinion. “Mom wanted so much better for me than this and I’m gonna go and find it. Because I’ve wasted too much energy trying to earn the love of people who don’t deserve it. So if you want to go to your graves hating me, making me the scapegoat for every problem in your miserable lives, have at it. But know that I don’t hate you even after all this. I won’t be weighed down anymore by any feelings toward either of you ever again. You aren’t worth it.”

Raven pulled herself to full height and rolled her shoulder back as she scooped up the box and folder she had taken from her grandmother’s stuff. 

“Now I’m gonna go and have that long… rich and happy life mom wanted for me. And I hope you two do the same.” 

She did not look behind her as she walked away, a soft smile on her face as she walked out of her family’s house for the last time.

She let out a long laugh as she sat in her car, so much of the weight she had been carrying around gone. It did not feel sad like when she cut off her family at Thanksgiving. She finally felt as if she had cut the anchor away and she could float away, she could move forward and heal all the broken pieces of herself that they had gleefully chipped away at. 

When she got back to her hotel room, she just kept rereading her mom’s words. She would memorize each letter at this point. A part of her desperately wanted to open the other ones but she had not reached those milestones just yet so she left them where they were. For some reason, she worried her mother would disapprove of her breaking into them early. 

One line of five letters she read and reread stuck to her bones above all else. And of course, as if her mother had known, it was embedded in the letter for her first love. Love… the thing that had cracked her wide open and brought her to this moment in the first place.

You’d be surprised to know that this was the hardest of the letters to write. Because everyone has some prolific idea of what love is and feels like. And I realized I don’t… because I don’t think I’ve ever experienced the love I pray you are as you read this. That’s not to say I don’t love your father, I do. But I want something different than convenience for you. I hope that the love you feel is safe, allows you to feel the full spectrum of what it means to be human - strong and vulnerable, insecure and confident, boisterous and timid. I hope it feels like stepping out of the cold air and into a warm embrace. I hope it is loud and unapologetic because you deserve nothing less. And I hope it makes you feel so enraptured that everything else in the world goes quiet. And lastly, I hope, more than anything, that it feels like home. That when you’re in this person’s embrace, you feel as if your soul finally landed right where it is supposed to be. 

Her eyes scanned that passage over and over again, realizing that she had found the exact love her mother described. She had come back here thinking she was coming home. But this wasn’t home at all. Home was where he was. And he was back in LA, about to prepare for the biggest night of his life in 24 hours. And regardless of whatever trust needed to be rebuilt and conversations needed to be had, she could not allow herself to miss it. She could not allow herself to not show up for him.

Raven scrambled to find her phone as it was hidden beneath sheets of paper. She scrolled through, praying she had not deleted a long forgotten group thread that housed one number she had once thought she would never need but now was the most important phone number in the world. 

She almost shouted praises to God when she found it, clicking the call button on the unsaved number. She paced up and down beside her bed as every agonizing ring dragged on. 

“Didn’t think I’d see your name pop up on my phone ever again.” 

Raven let out a sigh of relief as her voice filled her ears. “I know… me either. But I need a favor.” 

“Does it involve a certain award show tomorrow night?” 

“Yes. Is it too late?” 

“Yea it is.” she knew Alex could hear the tiny sigh of sadness she let out. “For anyone but me. I’ve earned enough favors around here to create a miracle or two.”

“Really?? Cause I need like more than one or two miracles… a dress, hair, makeup… hell a flight from Charlotte to make it back in time. Without him knowing?”

“Consider all of it done. Hope you don’t mind getting up at the ass crack of dawn though.” Alex asked, Raven hearing the smile in her tone. 

“For him… I’ll get up anytime.” 

“Good. Then I'll take care of everything... I'll have to tell his mom but she'll love this. And probably be happy as hell that she doesn't have to go anymore. I'll text you details in an hour."

"An hour?? That's all you need??"

"You're new here so I'm gonna choose to not be offended by that."  

"Noted." She was about to hang up when she stopped herself. “Hey… Alex? Thank you.” 

“Don’t mention it. Seriously. Just make sure your ass is on that plane and in LAX tomorrow when Allen picks you up, got it?” 

Raven chuckled. “Yea I got it. See you tomorrow.”

Tag List: @readinghere2023 @blackerthings @prettyisasprettydoes1306 @physicxal @purplehairgawdess @miyuhpapayuh @rueruesclues @geemamii @certifiedlesbianbaddie @pipsqueak-98 @nyifly22 @destinio1 @twocentaur @gopaperless @musicisme333 @roguekiki @majesticbrownjawn @taurusqueen83 @mysteryuz @miamormilan @itsknor-thedeep @naj-ay444 @mads-grace4 @nayaesworld @kholdkill @msniaimani @nccu-rnc @apenasumlug4r @dezzy154

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A/N: So now will y'all stop yelling at me LOLOL our good sis is going back to her man! We love to see it! How surprised do we think Michael's going to be? Part 11.2 will be the Oscars! Drop a comment and let me know what you thought! And as always, thanks for reading!

[woodsman2b]

I've been tagged by @my-haunted-heart and I thank you so much!

Rules: We would like to ask you to recommend us 3 of YOUR fics: 1 that is "most popular" and 2 that are "hidden gems”!

First things first, here's my page!

My most popular work is Olympic Triumphs. In this story, Alexios represents Sparta at the Olympics. The sports competition is an opportunity to reconnect with former lovers, eager to taste again the delights of love with the misthios turned athlete.

About hidden gems, are there really "gems" in my writing? I wouldn't know, and I wouldn't dare to say so myself!

Though if I had to choose, the first one that would come to mind is a two-part story: The Complaint of the Two Spartans and The Tale of the Underworld Lovers, a crossover of Assassin's Creed Odyssey and Hades Game. The whole series is called A Hellenic Untold Story. It follows the adventures of Deimos and Thaletas above ground... And under. It's one of my favorite works!

The second one would be Adonis Calling. It involves Alexios trying to save Adonis from his fate. This is such a rare pair! I wish more people wrote about the handsome god!

I tag @myriath!! You have marvelous stories to share, my dear!!