#aed machine

[digitalasia]

We are AED defibrillator supplier

What is an AED ?

If you're wondering what an AED is – and why they seem to be located in most offices and public buildings, you're not alone. In fact, because these devices are now commonly available, more people than ever before are curious about them. So – just what is an AED? An AED, or automated external defibrillator, is used to help those experiencing sudden cardiac arrest. It's a sophisticated, yet easy-to-use, medical device that can analyze the heart's rhythm and, if necessary, deliver an electrical shock, or defibrillation, to help the heart re-establish an effective rhythm

[directdefibs]

Defibs Direct Australia is a company that sells AED machines. These machines are used to treat heart attacks and other life-threatening emergencies. They come with a lot of features that make them very versatile. One of the most important features is the ability to monitor the patient's vitals remotely. This way, the doctors can keep track of the patient's condition even while they're in another room. The machine also has a lot of other features, such as an automatic CPR feature and an emergency stop button.You can also find AED machines for sale online at our website, so be sure to check us out!

[whereintheworldiskamalakhan]

I’m officially CPR certified (for 2 years)!

[deebbiemedzer]

Automated External Defibrillator 

Shop our AED Devices our automatic external defibrillator is used for giving electrical shock to restore normal heart rhythm during cardiac emergencies.

[odinsblog]

Patrick Braxton became the first Black mayor of Newbern, Alabama, when he was elected in 2020, but since then he has fought with the previous administration to actually serve in office. (Aallyah Wright/Capital B)

NEWBERN, Ala. — There’s a power struggle in Newbern, Alabama, and the rural town’s first Black mayor is at war with the previous administration who he says locked him out of Town Hall.

After years of racist harassment and intimidation, Patrick Braxton is fed up, and in a federal civil rights lawsuit he is accusing town officials of conspiring to deny his civil rights and his position because of his race.

“When I first became mayor, [a white woman told me] the town was not ready for a Black mayor,” Braxton recalls.

The town is 85% Black, and 29% of Black people here live below the poverty line.

“What did she mean by the town wasn’t ready for a Black mayor? They, meaning white people?” Capital B asked.

“Yes. No change,” Braxton says.

Decades removed from a seemingly Jim Crow South, white people continue to thwart Black political progress by refusing to allow them to govern themselves or participate in the country’s democracy, several residents told Capital B. While litigation may take months or years to resolve, Braxton and community members are working to organize voter education, registration, and transportation ahead of the 2024 general election.

But the tension has been brewing for years.

Two years ago, Braxton says he was the only volunteer firefighter in his department to respond to a tree fire near a Black person’s home in the town of 275 people. As Braxton, 57, actively worked to put out the fire, he says, one of his white colleagues tried to take the keys to his fire truck to keep him from using it.

In another incident, Braxton, who was off duty at the time, overheard an emergency dispatch call for a Black woman experiencing a heart attack. He drove to the fire station to retrieve the automated external defibrillator, or AED machine, but the locks were changed, so he couldn’t get into the facility. He raced back to his house, grabbed his personal machine, and drove over to the house, but he didn’t make it in time to save her. Braxton wasn’t able to gain access to the building or equipment until the Hale County Emergency Management Agency director intervened, the lawsuit said.

“I have been on several house fires by myself,” Braxton says. “They hear the radio and wouldn’t come. I know they hear it because I called dispatch, and dispatch set the tone call three or four times for Newbern because we got a certain tone.”

This has become the new norm for Braxton ever since he became the first Black mayor of his hometown in 2020. For the past three years, he’s been fighting to serve and hold on to the title of mayor, first reported by Lee Hedgepeth, a freelance journalist based in Alabama.

Incorporated in 1854, Newbern, Alabama, today has a population of 275 people — 85% of whom are Black. (Aallyah Wright/Capital B)

Not only has he been locked out of the town hall and fought fires alone, but he’s been followed by a drone and unable to retrieve the town’s mail and financial accounts, he says. Rather than concede, Haywood “Woody” Stokes III, the former white mayor, along with his council members, reappointed themselves to their positions after ordering a special election that no one knew about.

Braxton is suing them, the People’s Bank of Greensboro, and the postmaster at the U.S. Post Office.

For at least 60 years, there’s never been an election in the town. Instead, the mantle has been treated as a “hand me down” by the small percentage of white residents, according to several residents Capital B interviewed. After being the only one to submit qualifying paperwork and statement of economic interests, Braxton became the mayor.

(continue reading)

[spookypete-94]

Difficult Gratitude

GhoapxFem!Reader

Story I've had in my head for awhile now, and just needed to press it out finally.

Reader is female medic. Takes place during the mission of Soap getting shot. Implied established relationship between Soap and Ghost already. Reader very good friends with Soap, and Ghost still learning how to accept it. More then likely medical inaccuracies. Its fan-fiction after all. Will be a longer read, I didn't want to split it into a series (since in the process of writing one already) so strap yourself in. Trigger warning for smut towards the end. Language used as well. I started this about 345 this afternoon and just finished right around 10 pm, so I hope you like it lol..

MNDI!

Blood. Working with it every day made it seem not as grotesque to you as it used to be. The mass amount of it surrounding Johnny however, made your heart stop and breath hitch. He was lying in a large pool of it. You could smell the iron and wasn't even on top of it yet. Even with your nervous system short circuiting, your legs carried you as fast as you could to him. Sent with a different group of soldiers and TAC agents, you were kicking yourself in the ass for not urging Price for you to go with him and Johnny.

Kneeling over you saw a gunshot wound to his temple.

"Fuck," you hissed out pulling on the straps of his vest trying to get it off.

"He's gone." Ghost grumbled next to, as he had already been kneeling over Johnny. Ignoring him, you continued, laying your head on his chest trying to hear a familiar thump-thump.

Nothing.

You began to cut his t-shirt pulling an AED out of your bag.

"He's gone." Ghost said louder, next to trying to swat your hands away.

"I have to know I fuckin' tried." You snarled up at him matching his tone. Your eyes narrowed and teeth still bared at him. Fully looking feral.

The reaction from you makes Ghost scoot back, allowing you to do as you wished. Sure, you had worked with them for years now, but you've always been cheery and sweet. Sickeningly sweet, Ghost had thought. You wouldn't say you were close with Ghost, but Soap had always tried to make sure you knew you mattered to him. Out of all the unfortunate work you had to do, he was the beacon of light out of it all.

Ghost sat back, looking at Price who had approached finally. As the AED went to work, shocking Soap every so often after your set of chest compressions. Taking the time to start wrapping his head wound while it would scan him again before sending another shocking volt. Ghost finally looked up to Price, a silent plea to make it all stop. He couldn't handle watching his lover's body jolt one more time on the ground. After about 5 minutes total, you felt arms pick you up around the shoulders dragging you away.

"Thatsa' enough," Price grumbled into your ear.

"No!" you yelled, arms and legs flailing. "'M not done yet!"

"You've done all you can." He said arms on your shoulders as you put you back on the ground still holding you back. Looking at you like a father would after they had lost their beloved pet. Your eyes searched Price's as they welled with hot tears. The silence was broken however, as the AED machine made a beeping noise still connected to Soap... A faint noise and a line matched a heartbeat being read.

Pushing Price out of the way, you grumbled to him, a voice now full of gravel as you fought back the tears. "Call for a fuckin' bird." Kneeling back next to Soap, you could feel eyes burning into you. Refusing to look up you knew they belonged to Ghost. But you would be damned to meet him as you prepped Soap to be able to fly. Pulling an IV and a blood bag, you started hooking them in, all while watching the faint green line praying the cadence continued.

**********************************************

The flight back was rocky at best. You stayed with Soap, other paramedics now with you helping in all the ways they could. Task Force 141 not too far off as they watched their struggling brother.

A curtain was drawn splitting them off as a vent was used. Your worry came true as you watched the green line grow fainter.

"Losing him," someone said as they began to bag his airway until the vent was ready. You stood next to him at the side ready to start compressions again if needed, until another strong arm pulled you away again.

"Let them, you've done plenty." Gaz said soothingly trying to hold you to his side.

"I'm so fuckin' tired of you guys," you snapped fighting back once more.

"As your Captain you need to step back. Your nerves are shot. Compressions have taken it out of you." Price said pulling you back further away while on the bird. "Sit your ass down." Forcefully he pushed you down as he ran the belts to contain you in your seat. "I know this is hard for you, but you need ta' remember this is hard on all o' us righ' now. The entire medical team is back there, sit your fuckin' ass down." Accent getting thicker as he commanded you to sit still, all while trying to control his anger at your behavior.

And you couldn't help it. You slouched forward on your knees as the tears finally spilled over. "He's my best friend. The best one out of all of you." You said, your tone wanting to inflict pain back at them for pulling you off the resuscitation team. And the part that made you feel guilty was that none of them argued because they couldn't.

"He is," Price said agreeing with you, kneeling at your level, brushing your hair to the side of your face before doing the same motion again. "What will be will be now... You've done more then enough." You held your face in your hands, keeping the sobs at bay, refusing to fall all the way apart at the seams.

Ghost standing back and watching it all, heart in his throat feeling as if it was going to leap out his mouth and to his feet the entire time. Unable to say or do anything.

**********************************************

Everything else was a blur once landed. Peeking through your fingers, you watched as Soap was rolled out on the gurney. Ghost not too far away in tow, following the man he loved be rolled away towards the surgery room. Price unbuckled you once they were fully out and in the building. Was he worried you were going to chase after? If he hadn’t forced you to sit and calm down, you'd of been the one rolling the bed itself.

Seeing Gaz's hand reach out you to take it, standing up and letting him pull you into a hug.

"Proud of you." He said squeezing you, thankful you had fought back against Ghost and Price to save his friend.

Finally, you broke off the hug, heading towards the building and the surgical bay. Your footsteps felt heavy, but honestly you walked so quietly. Like if you made a singular noise, God would find you strike you down with lighting for fighting off the Reaper who was supposed to take your friend.

Having to take this walk many times with other patients you knew where to go. And to no shock to you, Ghost sat in the same hallway outside of the surgical bay already. Picking a seat across from him, you sat down and interlocked your fingers together and placed your head within it again. It pounded and hurt, fatigue finally settling in after your adrenaline rush.

Feeling the same sensation of the eyes burning holes into you again, but you refused to look up.

Ghost sat there in turmoil. He wanted to say something, to say anything. His tongue too heavy, as if it was made with the same lead that had struck Soap. Instead, he sat across from you, and searched you for any sort of emotion. Is that sleeping feral beast still in you? Would you snap at him again for trying to stop you? Or was that sickeningly sweet girl back...

Gaz and Price, both joined you both not too long after that. Both quiet.

Your knee now bounced with anxiety.

**********************************************

Somehow you had fallen asleep, head rolled back and leaned onto the edge of the chair. Blaming it on the adrenaline dump, you would never have been able to fall asleep in such an uncomfortable position and piece of furniture if you could call it that.

A light squeeze of your knee from Price as the OR DR. came walking through the doors to speak with you all.

"Bullets out and breathing with a vent for the time being." Ears perking up as he told you all. You shifted up higher in your seat, ready to pay full attention and ask questions where needed.

"Is he awake?"

"No, he will be in a medical induced coma for a bit until swelling goes down in his brain. Sleep will be the best method right now, and better pain management."

"Do we have a recovery window?"

A silent shake of his head, "No I'm sorry miss, this was an extremely evasive surgery and time will only tell with this."

"Can we see him?" Ghost asked, standing up ready to follow.

"Yes, you can see him. He won't be able to acknowledge you are there, but part of him will know."

The Dr. turned back to you, arm now on your shoulder.

"You should be proud of yourself. Your efforts are what saved him. No doubt a medal should be given in your honor."

The last statement inflicting rage. "You think I did this for a fucking medal??"

Oh, the feral beast in you was definitely sleeping and not dead. Ghost thought, as Price stepped in-between and you and the Dr. blocking your path from mauling the medical professional.

"Thank you, Dr., We will find him back there." Words rushed as he tried to send the Dr. on his way.

Gaz and Ghost slipped past the doors, waiting on the other side as Price tried to have a calming conversation with you.

"You gotta' keep it together. He just saved Soap." He said trying to comfort that angry monster lashing at its enclosure.

"Did you hear him?? I would give anything for Soap to be bullet free. Didn't do this for honor, I did it because he’s, my friend." you hissed back to Price in an angry whisper.

"I know, I know. Was something a muppet would say, but try to keep it intact yeah? I know what you mean and why you're angry, but none of us thought we would even get this far."

And how you wanted to correct him, none of them thought you would get this far, but you bit your tongue. No need to be spiteful. Soap was still on this side of the earth.

Walking in and seeing Soap in this condition was almost as hard as seeing him in his own blood. His head was fully shaved down, proud mohawk gone. Face was so pale from the loss of blood, but his chest raising and lowering even if it wasn't directly on his own will, made you feel at ease.

All picking a corner of the bed, and pulling up a chair, you sat up at Soap's upper left. You scanned his face for anything but knew that wouldn't come for a while. It stayed like this for a while before Gaz spoke up.

"Remember that time he broke the course record for clearing a building?"

"Was thinking about the time he did it and accidentally stepped in a small trash can and continued with it stuck to his foot." Answered Price laughing lightly, pulling his hat down over his eyes. You all knew he was hiding the descending tears.

"How he always calls us "Goat Heads", across the radio." You said lightly laughing, wiping your face. It was a stupid joke used in the place for "Go Ahead" meaning go with you radio traffic.

"The time he told me he could fix my problems if I took my mask off. How I knew I liked him." Ghost said, his hand running back and forth across Johnny's tenderly. You blinked looking away from the action, feeling as though you should never see something so delicate come from both men.

It continued like this for a while, telling small things that you remembered about Soap that had struck you. Until it was finally late in the night. You rubbed your eyes that were sore and raw from emotions that had racked up throughout the day, almost into the next.

"We should get some sleep. Ghost, I'll have them bring in a cot for you." Price said getting up extending his hand for you to take. Not wanting to be rude you took it, letting him pull you up. You gave Johnny a slight rub to his shoulder. Ghost might have been up and staring at you intimidatingly at you had it not been for the new fresh salty tears that pin pricked your eyes again.

"Night," you finally muttered to them all before stepping out and heading to your room. Your heart panged and beat against its cage. Once in your room, you stripped of your blood covered clothes and lay on the bed, turning and wailing into a pillow. You needed Soap to pull through.

**********************************************

Every day you took the time to visit Soap. Spending hours upon hours there with him. Taking in a radio so he could listen to his favorite music, sometimes rotating that to his favorite movies on a tablet. Ghost had come to figure out you knew a lot about Soap. It made him wonder how close you really are, if anything causing a spark of jealousy.

Ghost was angry, wanted to tell you that Soap's quality of life was your fault. Wanted to tell you that because of you, who knew if he would wake up from this coma. The Dr. had advised that they had stopped giving the medication to make him sleep 2 days ago... and he still hadn't woken up. Oh, how he wanted to say it was your fault that he was lying in this bed, unable to speak and move... but the alternative of his Johnny laying in the ground 6 feet deep, still unable to speak or move factures his heart more, so he kept his mouth shut. Instead, he holds on the small piece of hope that eventually Soap will open his eyes again.

It was hard for Ghost. Day in and day out he had watched as you did Soap's physical therapy. Instead of being out in the field as a working medic, you stayed back as his primary nurse. No one argued with you. Not even when Price left to continue his hunt for Markarov. Price had benched Ghost and you worried your emotions would get the best of both of you. In fact, if Ghost would of said all of those mean, hurtful things about it being your fault Johnny was bed bound, Ghost wondered if the dragon in you would wake again. He hadn't seen it since that day but knew better to question its status of it still being there. It would burn him alive if given the opportunity, and devour him whole. Ghost could feel the anger seep off you sometimes and wondered if you were thinking back to that unfortunate, bloody day. Did you hate him?

He sat in the chair next to the bed watching and listening to you talk to his Johnny. Raising his arm up and down to stretch the muscles so when he did wake, they weren't as stiff.

"I miss you stealing my pudding off my food tray. Wouldn't complain if you swiped it ever again, would just give it to you."

What else would you give him? Ghost thought darkly. There was no doubt that Ghost thought you were in love with Soap. Listening to all the stories you had, sometimes your favorite ones over and over. Now you were over at his right arm, picking it up, setting it back down.

"Thought about the time you were trying to help me pick a dress for the military ball, and said I would never take fashion advice from someone with a mohawk..." You said a whispering laugh afterwards. Honestly that made Ghost smile as well, but he would never tell. Thank God for this mask. The thought washing over and over in his mind.

"Soap?" The way you had said it made Ghost perk up. Looking up finally seeing your face change. It was full of curiosity. Your eyes flashed to Ghost's locking with his telling him something was for sure up.

"Soap, if you can hear me, squeeze my hand again." Ghost watched as the shells to his blue eyes fluttered, trying to open.

"Oh my god, Ghost," you said quietly, extending Soap's hand to him to take.

He took it from you, quickly.

"Johnny?" And he felt it too. A slight squeeze. "Johnny," Ghost cooed to Soap, causing the hand to squeeze over and over. A rhythm. Squeezing Ghost's arm, you slipped past him, running out the door asking for Dr.

Finally, blue eyes faced the world and locked with brown ones.

"Mornin' Si." Johnny croaked out squeezing his hand even harder.

**********************************************

Soap's recovery was lengthy to describe at best. The Dr. finally learned the extent of the damage to Johnny's brain from the bullet. Thankfully, most of it was only physical. Soap had to relearn how to walk and only struggled with words periodically. Ghost would work with him on his speech therapy, and you helped him with his physical therapy still.

Soap was persistent spending 2 hours with you every day. Ghost sitting back and playing overwatch, he had to watch the 2 of you interact. Your sweetness fully back. He watched as Soap would place his hands on your hips goofily smiling as you would pull them off and place them on the bars instead of the railing so he could support himself- you know like he should be instead. Something had happened to his Soap. He would lean in and smell your hair affectionally. He never did that before. Ghost knew Johnny still had eyes for him, still loved him. It was one of the things Johnny made Ghost practice saying first. Somehow Ghost couldn't help but wonder if this injury had rewired his brain, or maybe because he had almost died, he wanted all the things he could have out of life. It still hurt him to watch.

Your anger with everyone had mostly died off once Johnny had woken up. Johnny was all the good things out of this job, he was what made it worth it. If he had died, a large piece of you would have been buried with him. Maybe that was your fault for not being as close as you should be with some of the others... putting Ghost into a different light for you now.

Giving it a shot, you asked Johnny about things about him and Ghost. A way to bond and a way to test his memory. Where was their first date, his favorite thing to do with Ghost. And every time, Johnny answered with calling him Simon. He never once called him Ghost because that's how Johnny knew him. In away Ghost got to learn about you, interacting with Johnny, and you got to learn about Ghost. Johnny told you were his best friend because you were fierce and protective. So was Ghost. You stood up for what you believed in... and guess what so did Ghost.

**********************************************

"Didya' hear tha news, bonnie?" Johnny asked looking down on you as you helped him to the rails. He could do it on his own, but it was your part in PT to make sure he got there and didn't fall down. Policy.

"No, what news?" Your voice is light, airy, still a stark contrast to Ghost who sat in a chair not too far off.

"Makaraov is bagged and tagged." He said proudly, grinning. "Price and his team got him yesterday afternoon.

"No kiddin'?" Your world spinning off its axis for a moment.

Johnny gave a slight nod, hands bracing your hips again and pulling you into him giving a hug. His head placed on top of yours.

"What a fucking relief," you punctuated out, sighing heavily. The urge to cry hit you again but you fought it off. Instead, finally locking with the brown coals of Ghost's across the room. The first time you felt like he wasn't trying to set you on fire with a glance.

"Cannae hurt us again." He said into your hair.

"Thank God." you said the hot droplets finally falling down your face.

It stayed like this for a moment before you took a step back, hands bracing Johnny while you looked up at him and over at Ghost.

"Got news for you both too." Ghost stood up and approached to better join the conversation.

"I bought a piece of land, bought a tiny house, and I'm stepping out."

"You're leavin'?" Ghost asked crossing his arms over his broad chest.

"I can't do this anymore..." you explained feeling like you were being torn apart underneath a microscope. "What happened to you Johnny, changed me. I don't think I can do the job anymore... I have nightmares still." you admitted. Ghost's body language softening, shoulders rolling down, hands resting next to Johnny's who still gripped the rail. He didn't even think of the mental affect that it had on you too. Another thing you unknowingly had in common.

"Ya' cannae leave..." Johnny said hurt in his voice.

"You still got me, can't get rid of me that easily. I'll stay in contact. And you're doing great, I'd say you'll be fully recovered in no time."

"I'm comin' with ya'. Visit for a bit until I'm fully released."

"Johnny..." your voice light.

"No, yer ma' nurse. Cannae leave me. Si?" He said looking over at Ghost. Johnny knew Ghost would give him the world and never say no.

"Would be nice ta' get outta here, until he's ready to go." Head turning back down to you.

You sighed. "Fine, way to invite yourself, Johnny." You teased, smiling and shaking your head.

The happy blue eyes and toothy grin was worth it... even if you felt like space was being forcefully invaded.

You are glancing over, entranced with Ghost's smoldering brown eyes next.

**********************************************

The piece of land you had bought was in the middle of nowhere. Surrounded by tall pine trees, a clear vessel of water cut through it. Mountains towered in the back, ironically 4 of them. You had named them Price, Gaz, Soap, and Ghost. Feeling like it fits all of them somehow. Even though you were stepping away from it all, it was comforting to know you had something like them with you still. The air was crisp and clean, something you have not had in so long. No smell of a medical room, no smell of tar and tang from firearms. No smell of blood.

It was a good change... peaceful. Something you needed. You arrived at your new home first, readying it for your 2 guests. You decided it was best to put them in the master bedroom. A king size bed for 2 large men. How ironic that you bought it for you, and it won't even be used for you on the first night you have access to it. Once that bed was dressed for them, you made the guest bed. Finding the joke funny you were a guest in your home. Honestly, you were excited to have this transition with someone sure... but you knew things were off with you and Ghost. But if Johnny was here it had to be ok. You would make it work.

They arrived before noon. You went out to assist, but Ghost stopped you at the front of the truck. He opened Johnny's door, standing there to help him if he needed it, but Johnny climbed down on his own and teetered out with a cane.

He grinned his notorious smile at you. Large white pearls, blue eyes squinting with glee.

"Look at you," you said proud of him.

"All on my own." he crooned.

Stepping inside, you showed them around your tiny house. Not a whole lot to show them but wanted them to see where they would be sleeping and where the bathroom was less. The bedrooms were on opposite sides of the house. Theirs to the right when they walked in and through the kitchen. Yours just to left.

"Pretty close to the door... and far from us." Ghost said in the direction to your room.

"Don't think anyone will be looking or finding us out here."

A light rumble leaving his chest as he looked back down at you. It made your stomach burn. What kind of noise is that?

"If she gets lonely, she can just come join us, Si." Johnny said over his shoulder peeking into your room.

It left you baffled. Sure, there was some touching from Johnny, but you had always brushed it off to how he was altered from his injury.

Your face looking from Johnny, back to Ghost. Staring back at you and not saying anything. Strange behavior.

"Your guy's room will be over here." You said, leading them through the kitchen and into the master.

"Nice size room for a tiny house," Ghost concluded looking around.

"Nice size bed for us too," Johnny said. Not wanting another weird comment, you stepped away for a bit. Grabbing 3 glasses and a pitcher of lemonade.

"Why did you get a tiny house?" Ghost asked, "All this land, coulda had a big ol’ house."

"Always just pictured it as me. Don't need a lot of space."

Again, Ghost stood leaning against the door frame realizing you were more alike than you thought. You plan on being alone... just like he had until he met Johnny.

You watched an arm of Johnny's sneak around Ghost's waist, and you once more diverted your eyes. Did physical touch really bother you all that much? He wondered.

**********************************************

The night eased its way in. You spent most of the day still trying to get settled into your new home. You all were outside now underneath the stary sky.

For dinner you grilled steaks with an assortment of vegetables and mashed potatoes.

"Bett'r cook then yer' a medic." Johnny said in-between bites. "An' 'ats sayin' sumthin."

"Don't talk with yer mouth full." Ghost scolded. He had taken off his mask earlier in the day. You had seen him without it before, but it was hard not to look at him. His angled jaw, a broken nose from who knows when or what, a scar that runs over his mouth... but he was beautiful to you. It was your turn to burn holes in him.

He knew you were looking at him but took a page out of your book refusing to meet your eyes, trying to let you feel comfortable with him... for Johnny's sake.

Johnny started talking to Ghost about what they could do during their visit, leaving you to get up and take the dishes inside. Stealing a moment for yourself, you ran hot water and washed the dishes. You heard the door open, but knowing it was one of them you continued.

It wasn't until a large hand brushed your hair to the side exposing your neck. That was what made you turn around to look but was stopped feeling 2 arms pin you against the sink before pushing you back into it, leaving you stationary. Lowering their head down to the side of yours watching your shirt get tugged to the side exposing a shoulder. A warm kiss graced your shoulder before their mouth came back up to the side of your ear.

"I've never thanked you for it all," Ghost's voice rumbled in your ear, making you look up and out the window seeing Johnny at the table looking up at the stars. Your heart jumped and fluttered. Any much longer you were going to need the same AFib you had saved Johnny with.

"I'm grateful for you and all that ya've done. He loves you... And think I'm startin' to."

Thump-thump was what you were looking for Johnny's chest about 3 months ago. If someone were to stop and listen to yours it would sound like a double drum. He kissed your neck, before pulling your shirt back up on your shoulder and giving your shoulder a slight squeeze.

You didn't look back up at him as he slipped back outside sitting next to Johnny wrapping an arm around his shoulders. Standing there dumbfounded for a minute, you grabbed 3 new fresh glasses and a tumbler of good whiskey for the occasion, not sure if you were going to be brave enough to step outside. So, you took a couple shots from it yourself to make sure you would have the courage to join them again

**********************************************

It was here you found yourself laid bare in front of them in the warmth of the fire.

Johnny made the first move, pulling you into his lap after his 2nd glass of whiskey not being able to drink from his injury making him more brazen from the amber liquid. His hands had worked their way into your pants leaving you a squirming mess, Ghost sitting now turned facing you.

It made you uncomfortable, his eyes the same color of the whiskey you noticed. His hand leaning against his fist, face unreadable as he watched.

"Relax Bonnnnn," Johnny purred into your ear. "We've already spoke abou' this." 3 fingers of his rubbing against you through your panties. "Both wan' this. Both wan' you. Least we can do ta thank ya'." Making your body at ease.

"Both want this?" You asked, head turning against his.

"Mmmmm." Ghost rumbled. There's that fucking noise again you thought still not sure how to take it.

"We do." Johnny said still whispering into you, his other hand pulling your pants down.

Ghost leaned down, tugging them down further helping them off your legs and over your feet. Instead of taking your panties down, he kneeled in further, tonging you over your cunt. A large gasp leaving you, the sensation still overwhelming. Johnny removed his hands from there moving up your shirt where he slipped under your bra, lightly pinching your nipples. Friction makes you roll yourself against them. Ghost had picked up either of your legs, placing them on either side of his head and neck. Not even bothering to take your panties off, he impulsively pushed them to the side holding them with a finger. His tongue slipped past your folds and rubbed up through you making your gasp shriller this time.

“Ghost,” you hissed out.

“Call ‘im Simon, Love,” Johnny said rubbing your nipples again, making a whimper leave you.

Simon did the same thing, hoping for a different outcome from your mouth, and you called out to him. “Simon…” Fingers slipping into his strands of dark blonde hair.

“There ya’ go.”

Simon made you ride his face while you were sitting down essentially. Making your hips grind up into his mouth where he greedily licked through you over and over. Once he decided you were wet enough, he slipped one of his large fingers in you, leaning back up to watch you. Your head was rolled up onto Johnny’s shoulder. Johnny having slipped your shirt up along with your bra, leaving your chest exposed.

“Oh, pretty girl,” he grumbled slipping in another finger, your head now rolling up further to look at him. The fire only made his eyes burn more. “Savin’ the love of my life pretty girl. Realizing how stupid I was…” he said pumping his fingers a few times before slipping in a 3rd.

“Siiiimon,” you whined squirming harder. Simon leaned forward, kissing you, before breaking it off quickly. Looking up he said to Johnny, “She’s ready, you ready?”

Johnny nodded vigorously. Simon gently helped you off his lap and onto the picnic table, pushing you back softly so your back was against it, turning you so your legs dangled off the side without a bench.

He leant down over you again, kissing you once more. It was just as much tongue as he had used on your cunt, still hungry. His fingers lifted your shirt up over your head and behind you on the table. He took his off as well and placed it under yours. You realized he was saving you from getting splinters off the table.

While he pulled back, you stopped him, hand behind his neck. Your movement confused him until he realized you stopped him so you could kiss him this time.

“Oh bonnie,” Johnny said finally unbuckling his pants and pulling out his cock stroking it a few times.

“Makin’ this hard love, want him to go first so he properly thanks ya’… then you go and have to do something like that,” Simon says dry humping into you. The friction is almost too much at first making you groan.

“Get in there Johnny,” Simon said stepping aside, allowing him through and have access to between your legs. He was slow at first a little wobbly, this something he hasn’t done for awhile clearly. You used your legs and wrapped around his waist, helping him to align with you before pushing in. It made your head roll back, your hair bunching up behind your head, a loud filthy moan leaving your lips.

“Yeah,” Johnny said moving out and back in. Looking down, you saw Simon’s hands holding his waist giving him assistance in fucking you.

The sight was definitely alluring and attractive to you. Simon helping Johnny. Maybe this is what it was like for Simon watching you help Johnny, and you had it wrong the whole time. Maybe he wasn’t jealous… he was envious. It didn’t take long for you to come. Your legs gripping on Johnny trying to slow him, but he just pushed into you harder and faster. Simon holding his core. Your warm walls finally squeezing him and slowing him down. Your cunt fluttering so hard, all you could do was constrict on to him.

“Jesus,” Johnny hissed out finally leaning forward laying on your abdomen for a bit. Your hands rested on his shoulders smoothing out his hair, letting him lax on to you while he caught his breath.

Simon stood behind him before finally helping Johnny sit next to you on one of the benches at the table.

“My turn,” he said standing back up and taking position over you. His fuck wasn’t like Johnny’s, it was rough. Instantly ramming into you over and over, lifting your legs up to his shoulders again using his raw power. Something Johnny would have to work up to. Johnny leaned forward kissing you, talking you through it.

“Such a good girl, takin’ it so well, lass,” again tweaking a nipple and holding a breast as they bounced from Simon's pounding.

This went on for a while, and even then, Simon wasn’t done. He turned you over and propped you up on your knees, thrusting into you from behind, watching you come undone on him this time. His hands gripped your hips, pulling you onto him in a way that didn’t feel human… but it sure curbed that feral dragon in you. And that’s all he wanted.

**********************************************

Simon carried you inside and into the master bedroom before going out to help Johnny in. He had pulled the blankets back and set you inside them. You pulled the blankets back on the other side, making room for Johnny. Simon had an arm under him helping him walk into your bed. Simon then slipped in behind you, arm over your waist as he pulled you back into him.

Johnny rolled over to his side sandwiching you between him and Simon, hand in your hair stroking it.

“Did well, bonnie, good physical therapy,” he joked, thumb stroking your cheek.

You gave a small laugh, laughing harder once you realized you were in your bed tonight and not a guest in your home in the other room.

“Gonna need something bigger than a tiny house,” Simon matched back “gonna have little ones before too long.” His hand already over your womb, mouth on your neck again already.

Simon "Ghost" Riley Masterlist

[reasoningdaily]

NEWBERN, Ala. — There’s a power struggle in Newbern, Alabama, and the rural town’s first Black mayor is at war with the previous administration who he says locked him out of Town Hall.

After years of racist harassment and intimidation, Patrick Braxton is fed up, and in a federal civil rights lawsuit he is accusing town officials of conspiring to deny his civil rights and his position because of his race.

“When I first became mayor, [a white woman told me] the town was not ready for a Black mayor,” Braxton recalls.

The town is 85% Black, and 29% of Black people here live below the poverty line. 

“What did she mean by the town wasn’t ready for a Black mayor? They, meaning white people?” Capital B asked.

“Yes. No change,” Braxton says.

Decades removed from a seemingly Jim Crow South, white people continue to thwart Black political progress by refusing to allow them to govern themselves or participate in the country’s democracy, several residents told Capital B. While litigation may take months or years to resolve, Braxton and community members are working to organize voter education, registration, and transportation ahead of the 2024 general election.

But the tension has been brewing for years. 

Two years ago, Braxton says he was the only volunteer firefighter in his department to respond to a tree fire near a Black person’s home in the town of 275 people. As Braxton, 57, actively worked to put out the fire, he says, one of his white colleagues tried to take the keys to his fire truck to keep him from using it.

In another incident, Braxton, who was off duty at the time, overheard an emergency dispatch call for a Black woman experiencing a heart attack. He drove to the fire station to retrieve the automated external defibrillator, or AED machine, but the locks were changed, so he couldn’t get into the facility. He raced back to his house, grabbed his personal machine, and drove over to the house, but he didn’t make it in time to save her. Braxton wasn’t able to gain access to the building or equipment until the Hale County Emergency Management Agency director intervened, the lawsuit said. 

“I have been on several house fires by myself,” Braxton says. “They hear the radio and wouldn’t come. I know they hear it because I called dispatch, and dispatch set the tone call three or four times for Newbern because we got a certain tone.”

Not only has he been locked out of the town hall and fought fires alone, but he’s been followed by a drone and unable to retrieve the town’s mail and financial accounts, he says. Rather than concede, Haywood “Woody” Stokes III, the former white mayor, along with his council members, reappointed themselves to their positions after ordering a special election that no one knew about. 

Braxton is suing them, the People’s Bank of Greensboro, and the postmaster at the U.S. Post Office. 

For at least 60 years, there’s never been an election in the town. Instead, the mantle has been treated as a “hand me down” by the small percentage of white residents, according to several residents Capital B interviewed. After being the only one to submit qualifying paperwork and statement of economic interests, Braxton became the mayor.

Stokes and his council — which consists of three white people (Gary Broussard, Jesse Leverett, Willie Tucker) and one Black person (Voncille Brown Thomas) — deny any wrongdoing in their response to the amended complaint filed on April 17. They also claim qualified immunity, which protects state and local officials from individual liability from civil lawsuits.

The attorneys for all parties, including the previous town council, the bank, and Lynn Thiebe, the postmaster at the post office, did not respond to requests for comment.

The town where voting never was

Over the past 50 years, Newbern has held a majority Black population. The town was incorporated in 1854 and became known as a farm town. The Great Depression and the mechanization of the cotton industry contributed to Newbern’s economic and population decline, according to the Encyclopedia of Alabama.

Today, across Newbern’s 1.2 square miles sits the town hall and volunteer fire department constructed by Auburn’s students, an aging library, U.S. Post Office, and Mercantile, the only store there, which Black people seldom frequent because of high prices and a lack of variety of products, Braxton says.

“They want to know why Black [people] don’t shop with them. You don’t have nothin’ the Black [people] want or need,” he says. “No gasoline. … They used to sell country-time bacon and cheese and souse meat. They stopped selling that because they say they didn’t like how it feel on their hands when they cuttin’ the meat.”

To help unify the town, Braxton began hosting annual Halloween parties for the children, and game day for the senior citizens. But his efforts haven’t been enough to stop some people from moving for better jobs, industry, and quality of life. 

Residents say the white town leaders have done little to help the predominantly Black area thrive over the years. They question how the town has spent its finances, as Black residents continue to struggle. Under the American Rescue Plan Act, Newbern received $30,000, according to an estimated funding sheet by Alabama Democratic U.S. Rep. Terri Sewell, but residents say they can’t see where it has gone. 

At the First Baptist Church of Newbern, Braxton, three of his selected council members — Janice Quarles, 72, Barbara Patrick, 78, and James Ballard, 76 — and the Rev. James Williams, 77, could only remember two former mayors: Robert Walthall, who served as mayor for 44 years, and Paul Owens, who served on the council for 33 years and mayor for 11.

“At one point, we didn’t even know who the mayor was,” Ballard recalls.  “If you knew somebody and you was white, and your grandfather was in office when he died or got sick, he passed it on down to the grandson or son, and it’s been that way throughout the history of Newbern.”

Quarles agreed, adding: “It took me a while to know that Mr. Owens was the mayor. I just thought he was just a little man cleaning up on the side of the road, sometimes picking up paper. I didn’t know until I was told that ‘Well, he’s the mayor now.’” 

Braxton mentioned he heard of a Black man named Mr. Hicks who previously sought office years ago.

“This was before my time, but I heard Mr. Hicks had won the mayor seat and they took it from him the next day [or] the next night,” Braxton said. “It was another Black guy, had won years ago, and they took it from.”

“I hadn’t heard that one,” Ballard chimes in, sitting a few seats away from Braxton.

“How does someone take the seat from him, if he won?” Capital B asked.

“The same way they’re trying to do now with Mayor Braxton,” Quarles chuckled. “Maybe at that time — I know if it was Mr. Hicks — he really had nobody else to stand up with him.”

Despite the rumor, what they did know for sure: There was never an election, and Stokes had been in office since 2008.

The costs to challenging the white power structure

After years of disinvestment, Braxton’s frustrations mounted at the height of the COVID-19 pandemic, when he says Stokes refused to commemorate state holidays or hang up American flags. When the COVID-19 pandemic hit, the majority-white council failed to provide supplies such as disinfectant, masks, and humidifiers to residents to mitigate the risks of contracting the virus.

Instead of waiting, Braxton made several trips to neighboring Greensboro, about 10 miles away, to get food and other items to distribute to Black and white residents. He also placed signs around town about vaccination. He later found his signs had been destroyed and put in “a burn pile,” he said.

After years of unmet needs of the community, Braxton decided to qualify for mayor. Only one Black person — Brown Thomas, who served with Stokes —has ever been named to the council. After Braxton told Stokes, the acting mayor, his intention to run, the conspiracy began, the lawsuit states. 

According to the lawsuit, Stokes gave Braxton the wrong information on how to qualify for mayor. Braxton then consulted with the Alabama Conference of Black Mayors, and the organization told him to file his statement of candidacy and statement of the economic interests with the circuit clerk of Hale County and online with the state, the lawsuit states. Vickie Moore, the organization’s executive director, said it also guided Braxton on how to prepare for his first meeting and other mayoral duties. 

Moore, an Alabama native and former mayor of Slocomb, said she has never heard of other cases across the state where elected officials who have never been elected are able to serve. This case with Braxton is “racism,” she said.

“The true value of a person can’t be judged by the color of their skin, and that’s what’s happening in this case here, and it’s the worst racism I’ve ever seen,” Moore said. “We have fought so hard for simple rights. It’s one of the most discouraging but encouraging things because it encourages us to continue to move forward … and continue to fight.”

Political and legal experts say what’s happening in Newbern is rare, but the tactics to suppress Black power aren’t, especially across the South. From tampering with ballot boxes to restricting reading material, “the South has been resistant to all types of changes” said Emmitt Riley III, associate professor of political science and Africana Studies at The University of the South.

“This is a clear case of white [people] attempting to seize and maintain political power in the face of someone who went through the appropriate steps to qualify and to run for office and by default wins because no one else qualified,” Riley added. “This raises a number of questions about democracy and a free and fair system of governance.”

Riley mentioned a different, but similar case in rural Greenwood, Mississippi. Sheriel Perkins, a longtime City Council member, became the first Black female mayor in 2006, serving for only two years. She ran again in 2013 and lost by 206 votes to incumbent Carolyn McAdams, who is white. Perkins contested the results, alleging voter fraud. White people allegedly paid other white people to live in the city in order to participate in the election and cast a legal vote, Riley said. In that case, the state Supreme Court dismissed the case and “found Perkins presented no evidence” that anyone voted illegally in a precinct, but rather it was the election materials that ended up in the wrong precincts.

“It was also on record that one white woman got on the witness stand and said, ‘I came back to vote because I was contacted to vote by X person.’ I think you see these tactics happening all across the South in local elections, in particular,” Riley said. “It becomes really difficult for people to really litigate these cases because in many cases it goes before the state courts, and state courts have not been really welcoming to overturning elections and ordering new elections.” 

Another example: Camilla, Georgia. 

In 2015, Rufus Davis was elected as the first Black male mayor of rural, predominantly Black Camilla. In 2017, the six-person City Council — half Black and half white — voted to deny him a set of keys to City Hall, which includes his office. Davis claimed the white city manager, Bennett Adams, had been keeping him from carrying out his mayoral duties. 

The next year, Davis, along with Black City Council member Venterra Pollard, boycotted the city’s meetings because of “discrimination within the city government,” he told a local news outlet. Some of the claims included the absence of Black officers in the police department, and the city’s segregated cemetery, where Black people cannot be buried next to white people. (The wire fence that divided the cemetery was taken down in 2018). In 2018, some citizens of the small town of about 5,000 people wanted to remove Davis from office and circulated a petition that garnered about 200 signatures. In 2019, he did not seek re-election for office.

“You’re not the mayor” 

After being the only person to qualify and submit proper paperwork for any municipal office, Braxton became mayor-elect and the first Black mayor in Newbern’s history on July 22, 2020.

Following the announcement, Braxton appointed members to join his council, consistent with the practice of previous leadership. He asked both white and Black people to serve, he said, but the white people told him they didn’t want to get involved.

The next month, Stokes and the former council members, Broussard, Leverett, Brown Thomas, and Tucker, called a secret meeting to adopt an ordinance to conduct a special election on Oct. 6 because they “allegedly forgot to qualify as candidates,” according to the lawsuit, which also alleges the meeting was not publicized. The defendants deny this claim, but admit to filing statements of candidacy to be elected at the special election, according to their response to an amended complaint filed on their behalf.

Because Stokes and his council were the only ones to qualify for the Oct. 6 election, they reappointed themselves as the town council. On Nov. 2, 2020, Braxton and his council members were sworn into office and filed an oath of office with the county probate judge’s office. Ten days later, the city attorney’s office executed an oath of office for Stokes and his council. 

After Braxton held his first town meeting in November, Stokes changed the locks to Town Hall to keep him and his council from accessing the building. For months, the two went back and forth on changing the locks until Braxton could no longer gain access. At some point, Braxton says he discovered all official town records had been removed or destroyed, except for a few boxes containing meeting minutes and other documents.

Braxton also was prevented from accessing the town’s financial records with the People’s Bank of Greensboro and the city clerk, and obtaining mail from the town’s post office. At every turn, he was met with a familiar answer: “You’re not the mayor.” Separately, he’s had drones following him to his home and mother’s home and had a white guy almost run him off the road, he says. 

Braxton asserts he’s experienced these levels of harassment and intimidation to keep him from being the mayor, he said. 

“Not having the Lord on your side, you woulda’ gave up,” he told Capital B.

‘Ready to fire away’ 

In the midst of the obstacles, Braxton kept pushing. He partnered with LaQuenna Lewis, founder of Love Is What Love Does, a Selma-based nonprofit focused on enriching the lives of disadvantaged people in Dallas, Perry, and Hale counties through such means as food distribution, youth programming, and help with utility bills. While meeting with Braxton, Lewis learned more about his case and became an investigator with her friend Leslie Sebastian, a former advocacy attorney based in California. 

The three began reviewing thousands of documents from the few boxes Braxton found in Town Hall, reaching out to several lawyers and state lawmakers such as Sen. Bobby Singleton and organizations such as the Southern Poverty Law Center. No one wanted to help.

When the white residents learned Lewis was helping Braxton, she, too, began receiving threats early last year. She received handwritten notes in the mail with swastikas and derogatory names such as the n-word and b-word. One of theletters had a drawing of her and Braxton being lynched. 

Another letter said they had been watching her at the food distribution site and hoped she and Braxton died. They also made reference to her children, she said. Lewis provided photos of the letters, but Capital B will not publish them. In October, Lewis and her children found their house burned to the ground. The cause was undetermined, but she thinks it may have been connected.

Lewis, Sebastian, and Braxton continued to look for attorneys that would take the case. Braxton filed a complaint in Alabama’s circuit court last November, but his attorney at the time stopped answering his calls. In January, they found a new attorney, Richard Rouco, who filed an amended complaint in federal court.

“He went through a total of five attorneys prior to me meeting them last year, and they pretty much took his money. We ran into some big law firms who were supposed to help and they kind of misled him,” Lewis says. 

Right now, the lawsuit is in the early stages, Rouco says, and the two central issues of the case center on whether the previous council with Stokes were elected as they claim and if they gave proper notice.

Braxton and his team say they are committed to still doing the work in light of the lawsuit. Despite the obstacles, Braxton is running for mayor again in 2025. Through AlabamaLove.org, the group is raising money to provide voter education and registration, and address food security and youth programming. Additionally, they all hope they can finally bring their vision of a new Newbern to life.

For Braxton, it’s bringing grocery and convenience stores to the town. Quarles wants an educational and recreational center for children. Williams, the First Baptist Church minister, wants to build partnerships to secure grants in hopes of getting internet and more stores.

“I believe we done put a spark to the rocket, and it’s going [to get ready] to fire away,” Williams says at his church. “This rocket ready to fire away, and it’s been hovering too long.”

Correction: In Newbern, Alabama, 29% of the Black population lives below the poverty line. An earlier version of this story misstated the percentage

[gutsybitsies]

I know this is a cliche at this point but Jason has the energy of that “straight” guy from Reddit who didn’t realize he had a crush on his gay roommate, and just thought he was being subconsciously homophobic.

Just like “I really care about Nico and support him so why do I always feel uncomfortable when he brings a guy home??? Am I being homophobic? :(“

Odds are it’s Piper who eventually has to be like “you are a big gay moron…”

omg you have hit a sweet spot for me because I have like. such strong Bisexual Jason beliefs. and i love the idea where he is relatively friendly and nice to everyone, and disarms people by being genuine, except for nico's dates who he automatically HATES.

he hates them so much. he can't explain it, the only difference between nico's dates and other people are that they are mlm who are in a romantic situation with his gay roommate. the only explanation must be that he's homophobic.

but also!!! jason with an unreasonably petty dislike of will is my jam, especially if will is this great amazing guy that everyone loves and he's also genuine and friendly and always happy to lend a hand to people in need. and this is the guy that jason is for SURE certain that he's evil or up to something. will solace can be rescuing a baby kitten from the streets and giving cpr to a dying person and jason's narrowing his eyes thinking "wow this guy can't be the wind underneath nico's wings, he can't even defibrillate the heart without an aed machine." of course then will is able to do exactly that with his healing powers and it just leaves jason even pettier.

i do love the idea of the whole "oh no what if i'm being homophobic" vibe but i also love the idea of jason unleashing his inner bitchiness and pettiness, lord knows this boy needs to unload some of his feelings

[tangocardiaca]

Isuke Inukai is in ventricular tachycardia. It's 200 BPM and it's only few moments away from her passing out and more lethal rhythm kicking into her heart. She is hooked to an AED. But even if she is gasping for air violently, she's excited. Her girlfriend/fiance, Haruki Sagae is resuscitating her and the machine is ready to discharge. Isuke is turned on by thought, that electricity will enter her sexy body and then into her heart, stopping it for a moment and then starting to beat again with regular rhythm. Yet again I forgot to put original creator and source Original creator: KamiyaBloodVengeance Source: Isuke Dakimakura Collection by KamiyaBloodVegeance on DeviantArt

[hongmingoo]

Breaking Down

Pairing: Jeon Wonwoo x reader

Synopsis: Wonwoo didn’t hear the last part for your dying breath to him, only hearing up to “I’m sorry, Wonwoo” and began to swirl into the depths of self-loathing. The story of the people you left behind. 

Spin-off of Untitled,

Inspired by: Breaking Down by Ailee | Doom at Your Service | Hi Bye, Mama!

Word count: 3.4+k

Warnings: MINORS DNI | Major character death, critical ilness, heavy angst, very slight mention of suicide, mental illness, self loathe, hurt, grieving, depression, ghost!reader. Let me know if i miss anything.

a/n: I just wrote this story in one go, a product of my overwhelmed feelings poured into writing. It might not be as good and there might be grammatical errors and typos too but please pardon me anyways. Please enjoy, and do reblog and like this story to support me 🙂<3

You gasped, at the sight before you. 

Wonwoo was breaking down, crumbling into himself. He was tearing himself apart, shredding every last bit hope that held his person together with his own bare hands. He wouldn’t listen to anything anyone says, wouldn’t let anyone come near him. He shut himself from the world, diving head first into deepest pit of misery known to man. And it was because of you. 

“I love you, Wonwoo. My love…” you breathed but he didn’t hear you. Tears are blurring your vision as you watched the scene unfolding before you– Wonwoo clutching your lifeless body tightly in his arms as he sobbed his heart out on your chest, desperately trying to find your heartbeat.  Your brother burst through the door, with a bunch of nurses and doctors in tow. 

“AED. Intubation.” he called out to one of the residents. A nurse pushed through with a cart equipped with the machine, charging it as she placed all the pads needed onto your body. She held out the paddles for Joshua to take but he gulped. He looked over to his wife, who finished intubating you, and nodded. Joshua stepped back, letting his wife take over the process as his hands trembled in fear. He collected Wonwoo in his arms, rubbing circles on his back as he watched the painful process of reviving you. 

“Come on, Y/n. Come back to us” Iris croaked as she pumped at your chest while the machine are being charged and placing paddle for shock. 

It has been 30 solid minutes, the resident at head of the bed was getting tired of pumping oxygen into your airways with no response. His posture began to falter that the airbag slipped from his grip.

“Pull yourself together!” Iris barked, hands still pumping at your chest. 

“Enough” Joshua called out, the residents and nurses stopped immediately at their Head of Department’s order but Iris does not relent.

“What are you doing? Move your hands!” she argued, voice breaking. 

“Iris. Enough. You’re hurting my sister” Joshua warned, his voice firm and demanding. Iris turned to argue her points but the words died on her tongue immediately. His eyes are hard but filled with pain. Clear droplets are lining his waterlines glazing his dark brown orbs. Wonwoo broke free from his grasp, tugging at his collar roughly. 

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!!! REVIVE HER!! ARE YOU GIVING UP ON HER?? SHE’S YOUR SISTER!! MY WIFE!!” he screamed, shaking the older man, desperation clear in his voice. 

“I’m never giving up on her. But i won’t hurt my baby sister anymore, Wonwoo. She doesn’t deserve to be in pain anymore” Joshua replied, his voice surprisingly calm. Wonwoo opened and his closes his mouth, unable to utter any words out. He knew his brother was right, you have been in pain for so long. You doesn’t deserve to suffer anymore but he can’t just let you go. Not when he made you cry until the end of your breath, not when you apologized to him for something that wasn’t your fault. Not when he’s sure you hated him. 

“No… No… Y/n… She apologized to me. Her last words were ‘I’m sorry, Wonwoo’. She cried and apologized to me, when she did nothing wrong. How am I supposed to live with that?! How can I apologize to her if she leave me like this?” he rambled, looking back and forth between your body and Joshua. Silently praying that he’ll agree to save you again, to bring you back so that he won’t wallow in regret. 

“Patient name, Hong Y/n. Age 36. Time of death, 0415am, December 30th 20xx” Joshua announced, staring at his wrist watch to avoid the gaze lingering upon him. Wonwoo fell down to his knees, before he began yelling and screaming from the news. The doctors tried their hardest to hold him back, but he was tall and big, the tallest among them. It took 5 of them to hold him as he fought back, trying to reach for you. 

“Give him the sedative” he heard in the back of his mind, eyes never leaving you even as his vision blurry from his own tears. 

“Wonwoo-hyung” he heard this time, saw a vision of Mingyu rushing to him as his vision fades and he blacked out. 

You stood there, invisible to everyone’s eyes as the chaos ensues in the midst of the cold and quiet atmosphere of the hospital. You watched Wonwoo broke down, Iris trying her hardest to hold back her tears as she worked on you. And you watched Joshua swallow his tears and pain– trying to be the mature adult here, acting as the responsible guardian that he is.

But you could see it in his eyes, the pain, disappointment, loneliness and most importantly, sadness. It was his 43th birthday today, you promised to give him a scarf that you’ve trying your hardest to knit, celebrate his birthday together with a cup of warm latte and croffle on the rooftop of the hospital today, while you guys plan what to do for your birthday on the 7th of January. It has been your sibling tradition for years since your mom passed away. You both always made time for each other despite your busy schedules to spend these two days with just each other.

“You broke your promise. You’d have to stand on your hands for 1 minute straight now” he mumbled under his breath, as if he knew you’re there, right next to him all the time. 

“You can all go. I’ll finish up here. Mingyu, please bring Wonwoo to the next room so that Iris can check on him. The rest are dismissed. Thank you for your hard work” Joshua said, as he bowed deeply to his staffs. They all stepped out of the room, leaving him behind the closed door reluctantly. Iris and Mingyu lingered in front of the front door, hesitant to take the next step. But they knew Joshua needed the time alone. It wasn’t until they heard Joshua’s painful wail that they bawled their eyes too. The man was still bowing towards the door, as he let out the sobs that he held back an hour ago into the empty space of the cold ward room. He then walked to the bed and took a seat at the edge, caressing your pale face with his knuckles gently. 

“You’re still warm. My baby…” he sobbed, choking on his own tears.

“Shua…” you cried, sitting behind him, resting your head on his back, arms wrapping around his torso. 

“Why did you take her away too early, mom? I wasn’t ready to let go of her yet. I feel like I haven't taken care of her enough. I wasn’t a good brother to her. I haven’t done enough for her” he paused, taking a deep breath to calm himself. 

“But I'm sure you want to spend time with her more now, since you too didn’t get to spend enough time with her before. I hope that you’ll be happy together. I’ll send Y/n off properly, so please take care of her again, omma. I love you both so much” he exhaled his shaky breath, trying to manage a proper smile, but he wasn’t able to hide the pain he’s feeling right at the moment. So, joshua allowed himself to breakdown, bawling his eyes out, as hugged his sister’s lifeless body tight. 

“You’re the best brother I could ever ask for, Shua. I love you so much and I’m sorry for leaving you behind”

Wonwoo woke up two days later, for the funeral. To be honest, he didn’t have the slightest energy to carry himself around, let alone arrange the  funeral and visitation. He let Mingyu dragged him to the bathroom to wash him and dress him, tidying his hair, applying chapstick to his cracked lips. He let the younger fed him water, any sort of food he can bring himself to chew, only to vomit them all out mere minutes later. He let himself be walked to the funeral hall, where he saw the portrait of you smiling so brightly, sitting at the center of the of the parlor surrounded by white chrysanthemums. The younger gently sat him down on the cushions to the side so he could lean on the wall. 

Joshua came, wrapping the same band that he’s wearing for chief mourners around his right arm. 

“Just stay here, with her. I’ll handle everything, okay?” he asked, staring into Wonwoo’s lifeless orbs who stared back at him blankly. He squeezed the younger’s shoulders for encouragement before moving away to greet guests and handled everything that needs to be done. He doesn’t care. He can’t. How could he?   

He lost you. He lost the light that shines his being, his meaningless life. And losing you meant losing his life too. He felt like it was his fault, that you suffered, till the end of your breath, that you cried for him and you apologized to him instead of saying you love him. 

Why did you apologize? You didn’t do anything wrong. It wasn’t your fault that you got sick. You didn’t ask to fall ill. You never did. Even in the worst moment, you were still smiling at him. You still hug him, assured him, that everything will be okay eventually. But because he cried, he begged you not to leave him. He begged, pleaded and asked for mercy that you’d stay with him just a day longer, an hour, a minute, a second longer as your life wilted away.

He had wept in your arms when you were in absolute pain, that you apologized to him for leaving him behind as your last breath. He kind of thought that he deserves this. This is his punishment for being so selfish, for forcing to to go through all all those painful therapies that worn out your fragile body day by day. He doesn’t deserve you.

 He let everyone stares at him as he cried yet again, staring into the walls of the hall with empty eyes. He let those who mocked him be for being so irresponsible on his own wife’s funeral. He let those judgemental stares pierced through his soul, because there’s nothing he could think of other than you’re not being with him anymore. He let those nasty whispers ran through his mind when people scoffed at him for being pathetic. He let his mom hug him and cried for him when he didn’t respond to her calls. He let Iris took away your son to comfort him when the three year old boy cried for his dad. 

But you were there, right in front of him, as he stared up at your portrait when everyone already left. You have been there from the very beginning, watching him, staying with him. He just couldn’t hear or see you. It breaks your heart to see him like this. He gave up on his life. Your Wonwoo, who was the optimistic being, the thoughtful and caring Wonwoo, let himself be eaten alive by guilt. 

“Baby, please don’t cry… please stop blaming yourself…” you plead, only for it to fall on deaf ears. 

You didn’t leave him after that too, continued to stay by him even after he went home. Wonwoo locked himself in your bedroom as soon as he reached home, reaching for the last hoodie you wore and hug it close to his chest as he tried to fall asleep. He let his parents take your son back to Changwon, didn’t promise them he’d come visit, won’t say he’ll be okay by himself. Just let them leave, without a word. 

Wonwoo didn’t eat, for like 2 months, only surviving with water. He didn’t touch the food Mingyu cooked for him even after the guy practically moved in with him uninvited to care for him. Joshua came by too, every two days two check in on him, buying groceries for him every weekend and even went to Changwon to visit his nephew. But Wonwoo still didn’t budge from his bed. He didn’t wash nor clean himself. Didn’t go to work either, luckily Seungcheol understood and let him on unpaid leave for a year. But he silently paid for his commitments and gave money for his son’s needs to his parents in Changwon. They silently agreed among their group of friends to support Wonwoo with everything he would need until he can stand on his feet again, no matter how long it would take. 

Your husband let himself suffer, torturing himself by not taking the nutrients his body needs. But he didn’t try to inflict injury upon himself either, only letting life fades away just like that. It wasn’t a good thing, but you’re glad that he didn’t try to take away his life drastically. 

In the third month, Soonyoung forces a piece of kimbap into his mouth, begging him to eat, pleading and crying on his knees because he could’t bare to see his best friend like a zombie anymore. 

“Wonjunnie misses his appa, Wonwoo-yah. Please come back” he sobbed, wrapping his arms around his friend’s thin shoulders. Wonwoo let his tears fall yet again, but he’s too tired to say anything. He couldn’t bring himself to. 

It wasn’t until a year, that he’s able to walk out of the house again. But not without help, of course. Mingyu would help him walk, while Soonyoung drives him around. He visited your resting place for the first time, sitting next to your mom’s. It was filled with photos of you, during youth, wedding photo, pregnancy photo and everything memorial about you. He choked up again, telling you how he misses you so much. 

Soonyoung then drove them back to his parents home, to reconnect with his son. It brought tears to his eyes yet again, to be reminded of how much the boy resembles his mother. His eyes, nose and cheeks. The way he talks, his way of expressing himself, all of it reminds Wonwoo of you.

“I’m sorry, my Wonjun. I don’t have any strength to take care of you right now. I can’t be a good father for you in my state right now. I don’t want to hurt you. I promise I'll come for you as soon as I’m ready. Please know that I love you very very very much, my son. I’m so sorry, my Wonjun” he sobbed, hugging his son’s tiny body in his weak arms. The boy pulled away to stare into his eyes, his tiny hand reaching up to wipe the tears away from his father’s eyes. 

“I’ll pray that mama will take away all of your pain, papa. Please don’t cry” he pouted, eyes beginning to water too. Wonwoo pulled his son into his embrace again, tighter this time, crying his heart out. The boy doesn’t have to know that his mother had cried in her last moments. He also doesn’t have to know that his mother might have hated his father. 

“Your time is almost up, Y/n. You have to leave” a voice called out. You turned around from staring at Wonwoo to lock eyes with the person behind you. Rather than a person, he’s a deity. 

“How can I leave when he’s still like that?”

“Your five years are almost up. You have to go”

“Tell me how to reach him first. I can’t leave him like this. He’s blaming himself. He thought that I hated him!” you argued. 

“There’s nothing I can do. He won’t let anyone help him. He has no hope anymore in him”

“Then give him hope, Jeonghan! You’re a deity! For fucks sake!” you screamed, irritated at the long haired man. You were more desperate than irritated actually. You have been trying to connect with Wonwoo, get into his subconsciousness for almost five years to free him of his guilt. But he won’t let you in. he had lost all hope in him. Wonwoo is broken.

And your time is running out. If you don’t leave until your five years are up, you’ll be mindless evil spirit. Bounded to this world forever, and harming people. You might even harm your beloved ones. You'd hate that.

“What hope should I give? You knew nothing worked for him” Jeonghan sighed.

“Anything! A new woman? So that he forgets me” you gritted, frustrated at yourself. Jeonghan eyed you.

“Would you actually want that?”

“I’d do anything to save him” you exhaled. You knew it wouldn’t work. Jeonghan tried it before. Introducing someone new to Wonwoo but it only ended up offending him and Joshua. They thought he was inconsiderate of them and didn’t respect the bond they have with you. But you can’t hover around Wonjun either because he’s a child and still so vulnerable to attacks. You need someone to coax Wonwoo to open up his heart, which he locked away for the longest time, so you could slip inside and let him know how you actually feel.

To your relief, that person was Joshua, your brother, your ever saviour. He had cried after a long time, begging your husband to talk to him, to them, because they can’t see him like that anymore.

Maybe it was Jeonghan who told him about the dire situation you are in now, or maybe it was his instinct because Joshua has always been observant of you. You have been hovering over him long enough for him to catch up on supernatural feels. He wasn’t the one to believe that sorts of things, but if it was a chance to save his brother, to pull Wonwoo back to himself, he was willing to do everything that it takes. 

Finally, after years of trying, you slipped into Wonwoo’s subconsciousness. You saw him sitting in the dark corner alone, and lonely. 

“Wonwoo, baby?” you called out. His head whipped to your direction immediately upon hearin the voice he missed the most. 

“Y/n” he broke down, running into your arms and you gladly receives him, kissing his face that you missed dearly. You kissed him on his hair as he cried his heart out, telling you how much he misses you. That he wished he'd died with you too. You let him weep for who knows how long, until he can breathe properly again.

“I love you so, so, so much Wonwoo my love. There isn’t a moment of time that I didn’t. Please don’t be in pain anymore. Please live happily with our Wonjunnie. And please keep me in your memory always. I’ll always be here for you. I love you. I love you so much, my love” you say, staring into his glassy eyes.

You knew you can’t stay there for long, you’re not a deity. Wonwoo is bound to wake up again. And you wouldn’t want anything more than that. You’ve said what you needed to. You saw that the frowns on his brows has faded a bit from your assurance. The dark, and gloomy place has begin to fill with colours. The chains of his heart has been broken and the guilt he felt is slowly vanishing. Your job is done and you need to go. With a deep breath, you let Wonwoo go, staring at his handsome face as you backed away– towards Jeonghan who was waiting for you. 

“I love you, Jeon Wonwoo” you say one last time before vanishing. 

Wonwoo’s eyes shot open, seeing he's passed out at Joshua's couch as usual. The windows are open a bit to let the cool air in. And for the first time in a while, he can breathe properly. The heavy feelings confining his chest have dissipated and he believed that it's your doing. 

"I love you, Y/n. Thank you for staying with me"

And that night, Wonwoo realized that you might not be there with him physically, but you'll always be there in his heart and mind. 

-Fin-

[trivialbob]

Last night Sheila presented a session on how to use an AED (automated external defibrillator) to a group of pickleball players. The age demographic of this group made it more meaningful than, say, doing it for a pee wee hockey team. I went along because it was held in the private dining room of a pizza restaurant. Mmm, pizza.

Sheila brought her own AED. She also had a training AED and a dummy torso from her job to use for demonstrations. AEDs are everywhere these days, it seems. Getting a little familiarity on how they work is a wise. They're really quite easy to operate too.

About 20 years ago another person and I actually hooked up an early model of one to a possible heart attack victim. The victim wasn't breathing, but his heart condition was such that the AED would not deliver a shock. The device will only shock under certain circumstances. We were told the machine won't shock a person with a normal heartbeat nor a body with no electrical rhythm (total flatline). When our AED didn't detect the correct condition for a shock, all we could do was continue CPR until an ambulance arrived.

When Sheila was done with her presentation we went to a nearby brewery to meet up with some friends and participate in a jigsaw puzzle contest.

There were about ten tables, each with the same puzzle. The first two teams to complete the puzzle won a prize. The first place team finished in about 45 minutes. Second place was about 10 minutes behind that.

I had not worked on a puzzle in ages. It took me a bit to get into the swing of things, matching colors and looking for the edge pieces. Our team of four got about halfway done in about an hour and twenty minutes when we decided to call it a night. Sheila and I got to keep the puzzle. I think I'm going to try completing it at home. I'd definitely do another contest like this, so a little practice isn't a bad idea.

You don't exactly need to bribe me to go out to a brewery. However, I like fun little events like this that the breweries host to attract more customers.

[male-cardiacftish]

Mountain Biker guy collapses from a heart attack on the woods. He's lucky there are two mountaineers strolling nearby who also happen to be carrying an AED machine with them.

[desceros]

yeah I guess you're stuck with me interacting with you sorry

oh god. where were those aed machines i stuck everywhere for this

[onouwu]

Dr. Omiata's Depravity: Finished Playing (pt2 of Assassin's Second Round)

Continuing from pt1 HERE

Having had her fill of the perverse game, Ellie went into doctor mode once more. Reaching into her bag, she retrieved the AED machine she brought with her. The woman's deathly pallor sparked a new resolve within her. This wasn't how she wanted the symphony to end.

With practiced efficiency, she placed the defibrillator pads on the woman's chest, one above the right breast and the other to the left of the rib cage, ensuring a clear path for the shock to the heart. She turned on the machine and waited for the charge to build.

As it was ready, Ellie hit the 'shock' button. The woman's body jolted. Her heart, however, remained stubbornly silent. Ellie didn't relent. She shifted, straddling the woman's waist, and interlocked her fingers, ready to perform chest compressions. With her palms positioned on the center of the chest, she pressed down hard and fast, forcing the heart to mimic what once was its natural rhythm. She could feel her sternum straining under the pressure of Ellie's desire to save her, or maybe it was greed... a selfish desire to take back that which she used up and let go. These days, Ellie knew better than to trust her sense of morality.

One, two, three... Her count was steady and forceful, a reminder to the lifeless heart of its duty. Between every series of compressions, she would sit back and hit the shock button again. The jerking of her body that followed was much like a gasping fish out of water.

Ellie's muscles strained with the effort, the sweat trickling down her chin, like a tyrant taking her frustrations out on a dying peasant she persisted. Finally, another shock.

And then... she heard it. A confirmation from the device that there was no need to shock. She put the stethoscope's earpieces in, the bell to the redhead's chest. It was faint, barely a whisper amidst the heavy silence, but it was there. A solitary thud, then another, growing in strength, forming the sweet rhythm of life. The woman's chest sporadically rose and fell beneath Ellie's hand. The sight was nothing short of a miracle.

Ellie let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding. The woman's heart was beating once more, frail and steady. Ellie dismounted her and sat to the side. She took a moment to take the woman in.

The redhead laid there in a stunning display, her skin like fresh milk, Her hair was a riot of wild curls spread around her head. Her slender arms and legs were stretched outward by the chains, the tension visible in the defined lines of her muscles. The blue-green veins under her skin were a network of rivers, their flow restored by Ellie's efforts. Ellie's lips returned to kiss the gentle curve of her breasts, the bruised flesh over her heart, and the gentle curves of her belly. This time, her kisses were not to push her over the edge, but an expression of her satisfaction and joy for the outcome. "do you think you're lucky or not?" she asked the fragile, unconscious figure in her bed, tracing a finger over her lips with just a hint of guilt. Ellie's smile a mixture of relief and victory. Not even death can take her precious little toys away from her.

[threadandlace]

✵When I Say Softly, Slowly- Seamstress for the Band series, part thirteen (11.7k)

Masterlist- to start from the beginning

You woke up in pain. Your ankle hurt, your face was raw from crying, and your heart felt like it had been smashed with a sledgehammer. You rolled over in the bed and reached for your phone to check the time. 5:45 am. You opened your messages for an update but there wasn’t one since Jack’s 3:00 am text.

Jack: He’s out of surgery and stable for the night. Try to get some rest. I’ll let you guys know if anything changes.

Last night had been a blur. Danny had helped you move Albert to the floor after you’d found him unresponsive on the bus. You remember screaming for help, the surroundings eerily quiet despite there being thousands of people in and around the venue hours before. You had performed about 10 minutes of CPR while you waited for paramedics to arrive. You had barked orders, sending Sam back into the venue to find an AED as you continued compressions on Albert. Sam had apparently been frantic as he ran around the venue in search of the machine you requested, getting back to you when the paramedics had finally arrived. They had whisked Albert away in the ambulance and you had finally had the chance to break down, the exhaustion and heartbreak hitting you as soon as Albert was out of sight and his life was out of your hands. A few of you had loaded into one of the vans and headed to the hospital before being sent away. 

“It’s late. You can keep one person here for updates, but the rest of you need to trust the process and come back in the morning. He’s in great hands,” a nurse had explained when the group had arrived at the hospital. Jack took watch and echoed the nurse as he sent the rest of you back to the hotel to sleep.

You swung your feet over the side of the bed and made contact with something warm and solid. You yelped and lurched backwards onto the bed, quickly withdrawing your feet. 

“It’s just me!” Josh exclaimed, his figure materializing as he sat up on the floor. “Oh, shit, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to kick you. I didn’t realize you were down there” you said as you slid forward. He reached out to gently pat your leg. “It’s okay. I’m sorry I scared you,” he said softly, his hand lingering on your calf for a moment. “So, I’m going to go get changed and then do you want to go ahead and go to the hospital? See what’s up? I can always go by myself though,” he said and you shook your head before realizing he couldn’t see you. “No, I’m good! I’ll get up and get ready and meet you out in the hall in a minute,” you said. He squeezed your shoulder before finding his way to the door, the light streaming through as he went out into the hall.

You flopped back against the bed. There’s no way anything happened, he was on the floor for Christ’s sake after we were at the hospital. You pieced together the night as you got up and started getting ready. It had been you, Jack, Josh, Dean, the other driver, and Damion, Jack’s assistant, that had taken the van to the hospital. Jack had offered to stay at the hospital and take the first shift of sending updates to the group, you and Josh had both offering to come back first thing in the morning. 

It was all starting to make sense- Jake had been asleep and you and Josh would be getting up together anyways, so he just crashed on your floor. Right?

You set the irrational worries aside and finished getting ready, meeting Josh in the hallway. “I got us an Uber, it should be here in a minute,” he said as he led you towards the elevator. You rode down in silence, both of you exhausted physically and mentally.

 The Uber driver had greeted the two of you before turning onto the main road. Josh had reached across the seat to place his hand over yours, giving you a weak smile. “He’s going to be okay,” Josh said quietly and you nodded, tears starting to well in your eyes as you remembered how scared you had been last night, how scared you were for Albert.

The radio switched over to Safari Song, taking you and Josh both by surprise. You both chuckled and Josh leaned forward to ask the driver if he could possibly switch the station. “Sure! You don’t like rock?” the driver asked. You couldn’t contain your laughter as Josh shook his head. “I’m not the biggest fan of that band. Their singer is a washed up Robert Plant wannabe,” he said, giving you a smirk. “Really? I had no idea,” the driver responded as he switched the channel to country. Josh grimaced, but shrugged with acceptance as he sat back into his seat, his hand still placed gently over yours. 

You and Josh followed Jack’s directions to the wing where Albert was. You had subconsciously reached for Josh’s hand as you walked through the corridors, your anxiety ramping up. He wrapped his hand around yours, providing instant comfort as you rounded the corner to the waiting room. 

Jack was slumped in a chair, his laptop teetering on the edge of his lap as he snored softly. You reached forward to take the laptop from him and he woke up, straightening himself quickly before realizing it was just you and Josh. “Oh, good, I’m glad you’re here! There’s been no news since 3 am, but I was going to go inquire when you guys got here. Let me go ask real quick,” Jack said as he stood and made his way to the nurse’s station across the hall. 

You and Josh watched as Jack talked with a nurse- the same one that had sent the group back to rest. “She told us to go home and rest, but she’s still here,” you whispered to Josh, who had been flipping through a magazine. “Yeah, but she gets paid,” Josh said with a definitive nod before turning back to his magazine. 

Jack walked back to you, rubbing his face with his hands. “So, good news is that there’s no news,” he said as he sat in a chair across from you and Josh. “That’s good?” you asked and Jack nodded. “He’s still unconscious. They’re waiting for his family to get here so they can have them make a decision about which additional surgery they would like to have done. As of right now though, he’s doing really well. They just want to be ahead of the curve and make sure this doesn’t happen again.” 

You nodded. “What did they say even happened?” you asked. “Oh,” Jack said, shaking his head like he couldn’t believe he hadn’t told you. “Heart attack. And then they found an aneurism near his heart when they went in to fix the heart attack issue. So now they’re dealing with that,” Jack said. “I don’t understand all of it but,” he took his laptop from you, “I have been in communication with his family and they’re on their way. And Emily is going to meet you in Florida. She’s been cleared for travel. And the transport company sent out a new driver for you,” Jack pointed to you, “so you guys should be good to head to Florida as soon as everyone is awake!” 

You sat there for a minute, taking everything in. Jack noticed your sadness and laid a gentle hand on your knee. “I know it’s hard, but we have to keep going. His prognosis is good, his family is going to be here soon, things are rolling,” Jack said and you nodded. “No, you’re right. We have a lot of people counting on us, counting on you,” you gestured to Josh, who nodded. You could tell he didn’t want to go, but was being strong for you. “Alright, well, are you staying?” he asked Jack, who nodded. “Emily will be landing in Tampa about the time you get there and will hit the ground running. I’ll meet you guys down there once Albert is on the mend and his family is here and settled. They should be here this afternoon.” 

“So,” Jack said, standing, “I’m going to send you both to go get some coffee, something to eat, and then go rally the troops. We will get through this.” You nodded, barely able to stand before Jack pulled you in for a hug. “I know you and Albert were close. I’ll make sure he knows you were here, okay?” Jack whispered and you nodded into his shoulder, begging for the tears gathering in your eyes not to fall. “Josh, you’re okay?” Jack asked, turning to him. Josh nodded and gave him a smile. “Yeah, just ready for Albert to be out of the woods. I’ve grown to quite like the geezer,” Josh said with a chuckle.

You and Josh went to the hospital cafe to get something while you waited for your Uber back to the hotel. Both of you got chai’s and chocolate chip muffins before heading out the front doors of the hospital. “I really wanted to at least get to see him,” you said quietly as you picked at your muffin. “I know,” Josh replied, taking a sip of his tea. “He knows how much you love him though, and you can tell him yourself when you see him next.” 

The drive back to the hotel was a little lighter, you and Josh discussing different ideas for the outfits he wanted to wear in Europe. He discussed themes he wanted to represent and you nodded, taking notes on your phone as he talked. You loved the way his mind worked- his thoughts were fleeting, yet they all connected in one giant web. You were lucky that you were able to speak his language, having the ability to pick out the specifics of what he wanted from the ramblings he sometimes went on.

When you pulled into the parking lot of the hotel, you had three or four solid ideas for outfit sets- all four of the guys matching to a certain degree in theme, although each set would be unique. You and Josh thanked your driver and Josh ensured the tip went through before heading into the hotel. 

You were surprised to see most of the group sitting in the lobby when you walked through the doors. Everyone had their stuff packed and in-hand. “What’s going on?” you asked Ava as she walked forward to hand you your bags. “I packed your stuff up, hope that’s okay. Jack called and filled us in and the drivers are saying we need to leave now due to a storm that’s heading towards the coast. They don’t want to get stuck in it because it could delay us getting to Tampa. And the semis with the stage stuff are already en route, so they need us to follow suit,” Ava explained. You nodded and Josh turned to take his luggage from Jake, who had come to stand next to you. 

“I’m going to ride with you,” Jake said under his breath. You turned and gave him a questioning look and he took a deep breath before continuing. “I was talking to Dean and he said that the driver they were able to send down to take Albert’s place is… an interesting one. Dean doesn’t like him or trust him. Dean tried to get this other guy to switch rigs so that he could drive you, but the guy refused. He’s apparently kinda slimy, so we don’t want you to be alone with him. I just don’t have a great feeling,” Jake said quietly, you and Josh leaning in to listen. “I’ll ride too,” Josh said with a nod. “I’m better at hand-to-hand combat anyways,” Josh added as he took another sip of his tea, causing Jake to chuckle. “Whatever you say,” Jake said with a smirk as he patted Josh’s chest. 

You instantly understood what Jake had been saying when you met Andy. He had reached out to take your hand, squeezing it a little too tightly, when he had met you as you boarded the bus. 

‘They didn’t tell me I’d be driving for a knockout,” he said, his toothy grin reminding you a bit too much of a shark. Luckily they warned me I’d be driving with a weirdo. “Oh, well, thanks,” you said as you tried to remove your hand from his grasp. “And what is it you do?” he asked, leaning closer to you. If you had taken a second to actually walk through the bus, I’m sure it would be pretty clear you skeeve. “I do the costuming and wardrobe for the band,” you answered with a smile, ready to be left alone. 

Josh, sensing your discomfort, reached forward to take Andy’s hand as he introduced himself. “I’m Josh,” he said, hitting Andy with his megawatt smile. “And you do what?” Andy said flatly, clearly immune to Josh’s charm. “Singer! Frontman! Face of the band if you will,” Josh joked. Andy withdrew his hand and nodded. “Very cool,” Andy added, clearly not thinking it was very cool. “Are you all riding on here? I thought it was usually just the little lady. At least that’s what the itinerary says,” Andy asked. “Oh, yeah, we take turns riding and doing fittings. Helps keep things running smoothly. She has a lot of work to do, incredibly talented this one,” Jake said quickly with a pat to your shoulder. “And she’s great company!” Danny added as he scooted past the group and walked down toward the back of the bus. “Ah, right. Well, settle in and we will get on our way shortly,” Andy said before returning to his seat.

The group collectively exchanged glances when you had all taken your spots in your usual seats. The clear consensus, even without words, was that Andy was not liked. “Where’s Sam?” Jake asked. “He wanted to sleep until lunch. He was tossing and turning last night- I think it really threw him for a loop not knowing what to do,” Danny answered with a sigh. 

“I’m glad one of us knew what to do,” Jake added, turning to give you a smile. “You were a badass last night. Really and truly,” Jake complimented you, leaning forward to pat your knee. You gave him a tight smile, tears welling in your eyes. “Yeah, the paramedics said if you hadn’t stepped in and done CPR, he may not have made it. You should be really proud of yourself,” Danny added. “It was a group effort,” you replied, remembering how Danny had helped you maneuver Albert to the floor, Jake had called for help and Josh had watched from beside you, frozen with fear, but getting you anything you requested and helping count your compressions. 

The group was quiet as the bus merged onto the highway. “Well,” you said before standing, “is anyone up for a fitting? May as well get something done and working will help clear my mind while we wait for an update.” Danny was the first one to stand, following behind you towards the closet to help you pull out the outfits for Florida. 

You had decided on red as the color for Florida. Something about it just seemed fitting. You laid out the outfits on the table, directing Danny on where to put the various pieces. Jake stood and started to help, rearranging things as you pointed them out. Eventually, you had the items laid out by member. 

Jake instantly fell in love with the boots you’d picked for him. They were chelsea boots, of course, and were two-toned with different red stains on the leather. “Any chance I could keep these?” Jake asked and you shrugged. “We bought everything outright, so I don’t see why not. We will probably use them a few more times, but after the tour, I’m sure you can have them.” 

Danny turned to you. “You bought everything? I thought a lot of it was rented usually?” he asked. You nodded, “it can be. But I do a lot of thrifting and know a lot of people in high fashion who either want to get rid of old inventory or want their designs used. So, it works out. I do the same thing with the fabric- a lot of it is castoffs, thrifted, that kinda stuff.” Jake shook his head, “you’re pretty brilliant, you know that?” 

You shrugged and lifted up Sam’s suit jacket to use as an example. “Like this? Tom Ford from a few seasons ago. I took apart the panels, altered the measurements, added embroidery and crystals, and made it into this,” you explained as you turned the suit jacket around to show off the red accents you’d painstakingly applied. “And these,” you placed the jacket down and picked up a pair of satin-type bright red pants, “are recreating some, according to fans, iconic pants Sam wore before. They’re actually made out of a material Jen used as a backdrop for photographing one of her collections. It just worked out perfectly.” 

“I knew you were a genius, but not to this caliber,” Jake said, shaking his head. “Hey, when you hired me, you said you liked to stay as green as possible. I took that to heart,” you replied. Danny shook his head in amazement as he looked over his outfit. “Yeah, definitely let me know if the bicep area needs to be changed. I made it looser than your measurements but I can always adjust,” you instructed as you showed Danny the area you were talking about. “Lace can be tricky to work with, but it can be adjusted. This was actually from a wedding veil and I dyed it this color of red,” you explained. You turned to show Josh his jumpsuit and realized he was fast asleep on the bench, snoring softly. Jake chuckled at the sight. “He really can fall asleep anywhere. I feel like the two of you have that in common,” Jake said. 

Jake turned to look at you. “Did he keep you up last night?” You froze at the question, your body instantly tensing. “I mean, that uh, I hope he didn’t snore. Because, you know… he snores really loud sometimes? And uh…” Jake spoke more quickly than usual, trying to explain what he meant. “He told me he crashed on your floor when you got back from the hospital. To uh, not wake me up. And because you guys told Jack you’d be back first thing in the morning,” Jake finished, nodding with satisfaction at his cover. “Oh, yeah, he was fine! I totally forgot he was there and stepped right on him in the morning,” you replied with a chuckle. There, now they know he was not IN my bed and therefore we didn’t sleep together. Sexually or otherwise. Even though I have no doubts he would’ve told them either way. 

Josh rolled over, grunting suddenly. “I don’t fucking snore. And stop the interrogation Jacob or I’ll find the energy to beat your ass,” Josh hissed, his threat empty. Jake laughed and shook his head, “whatever boss.” 

Danny had been watching and listening as he changed, his face hard. “You okay? How does it fit?” you asked with a smile, hoping to break through the tension in his eyes. “Yeah, great,” he said, giving you his signature smile that melted your heart every time. “The sleeves are perfect actually, I think you got the measurements perfect,” Danny said as he moved his arms around, testing the range of motion. “Perfect. Is it too tight here?” you asked as you moved and hovered your hands just above the collar of the shirt. “No, you can check it though,” he said, nodding to give you permission. You slid your hands between the fabric and the warm skin of his neck, pulling to check the give of the fabric. “Yeah, I used a fabric with more give, and that feels perfect,” you said, removing your hands and nodding. “Perfect,” he echoed before moving to the other side of you to begin changing back into his street clothes. 

“How’s this look?” Jake asked, twirling to show you his outfit. “Stunning. How does it feel?” you asked as you walked over to assess the final fit of the jacket. “Good. I love this cut,” Jake said, gesturing to the ¾ sleeves and deep v cut on the front of the suit. “It’s really flattering on you, really accentuates your chest and the coin necklace of course,” you said with a smile as you pointed to the necklace he always wore. 

Jake smiled and dropped his head shyly. “Yeah, I may need more coverage on the jackets during the next leg though,” he said quietly. “We can always change the cut if you want, that’s no problem. What is it you don’t like?” you asked. “I uh… people have just been saying things,” he whispered as he took the jacket off and put his button down back on. “Saying what?” you gently prodded. 

“They’ve been utterly disgusting online,” Danny said, walking back from the bathroom. “Saying what?” you asked again. Jake took a deep breath and rubbed his forehead with his hand. “They’re I’ve gained weight, gotten fatter. It’s only a few people, but,” he said softly, his voice flat. You scoffed at him and looked from him to Danny, who was nodding to affirm that Jake was telling the truth. 

“You’re kidding, right?” you asked and Jake shook his head. You hated how deflated he was, how crushed his confidence seemed. “Jake, I will do whatever you want, make any change you desire. But I will only do it if it’s what YOU want and what YOU are comfortable with,” you said, leaning forward to place a hand on his. “I’ll tell you right now, you are not fat. Far from it. This cut looks fantastic on you, absolutely screams sex appeal. And I don’t say that lightly,” you said, getting a chuckle out of him. “See, I seem to recall a whole lot of comments you showed me the other day about wanting to lick the sweat off your stomach, so, clearly there’s more appreciators than haters,” Danny said with a laugh. “Daniel, I showed you that in confidence,” Jake replied, giving him a smirk.

“Listen, I have heard my fair share of comments when I’ve ventured out into the venue, and I can confirm- the hearthrob vendetta is alive and well. People love what you wear and what you show off because it’s you. I believe that people should be more enthralled with your talent rather than your body, but I can confirm that people are obsessed with you for both reasons,” you added, tapping his leg with your foot for dramatic effect. 

Jake turned to smirk at you as he raised an eyebrow “did you say people are obsessed with me?” You rolled your eyes and took the jacket from his hands, turning to hang it back up. “Don’t flatter yourself too much. I’ve heard enough nasty comments about all four of you to horrify me for decades,” you said with a laugh as you reflected on the various things you’d heard people whisper to each other when they thought nobody could hear, their intoxicated minds speaking freely. 

“Oh, we’ve seen it,” Danny said with a chuckle as he leaned back on the bench across from you. “And heard it,” Josh croaked from his spot laid out on the other bench. “Oh, true! Josh’s in-ear picks up feed from a mic that faces the pit. The shit he’s heard is so disturbing it’s funny” Danny added, giggling as he likely reflected on various comments he’d heard. 

“Don’t remind me of barricade granny,” Josh said with a groan before rolling over. “Oh shit, barricade granny!” Danny said, doubling over as he laughed even harder. Jake rolled his eyes and shook his head before explaining. “There was this lady, probably what, like in her 60’s? 70’s?” he asked and Danny nodded as he gasped for air. “She was making the most disgusting comments, like, holy shit it was insane. Screaming them too, loud enough to hear clearly. And then she flashed Josh when he walked towards her. Absolutely no fucking shame, that woman,” Jake said, laughing to himself as he reflected. 

“That’s… horrifying,” you said, your eyes wide. “Yeah, but it was hilarious too,” Danny said, wiping tears from his eyes. “Imagine being that worked up over this guy,” Danny said, pointing to Josh, “in a sparkly jumpsuit. She probably thought you were fucking Elvis or something.” 

“Well,” you said as you worked to hang the outfits up, “I hope to never see a pair of granny titties. That’s all I got.” Danny started laughing again and Jake grimaced. Josh rolled back over. “They actually weren’t bad. I think they were fake. But still, the principle made me turn around real quick. Don’t need to be staring at someone’s grammy’s rack. Jesus,” he said with a chuckle. 

“Does that happen often?” you asked. “What? Get flashed by grandmas?” Danny asked with a chuckle. “Just in general,” you added and Jake shrugged. “Sometimes. People online really started to tear them apart over it, you know, consent and all that,” Jake replied. “I, sadly, can’t really see from where I am. I know I’ve seen my fair share of boobs popping out when we used to watch people run to barricade though,” Danny added. “Oh, yeah, that’s true. We used to watch people come in for general admission and they’d be so concerned with fighting for a spot, you’d just see everything flying. We don’t watch anymore because it’s turned into a bloodbath. A little disappointing to see,” Jake added. 

“Who would’ve thought that you guys would be rockstars, hmm?” you said, both Danny and Jake smiling. “I knew he’d make it big,” Danny said, gesturing to Jake. “And that he’d become something. I thought he’d be more of a filmmaker, some big shot director. But that will be his next move I think,” Danny added, pointing at Josh, who was back to snoring in the corner. 

“Yeah, what’s next for you guys?” you asked, pulling a panel for one of Josh’s future jumpsuits out of your drawer. You began applying the embellishments by hand, checking your pattern as you went. “Not sure. Probably another album, work on it slowly,” Jake said, clearly in thought. “I think Josh wants to focus more on film endeavors, so the three of us may work on the musical portion of the next album while he does that. I don’t think we will tour for a while. It’s been a whirlwind and Emily is begging us to take a break. Something about longevity or something,” Jake said, waving the thought away with his hand. 

“I have a few friends with bands that I want to help out. Do some producing and mixing, that kind of stuff,” Danny added. “Yeah, Sam wants to work with some other bands too. Just kind of go slow for a little bit,” Jake added. “That sounds lovely,” you replied with a smile. You couldn’t imagine doing tour after tour with no real end in sight. 

“What about you?” Danny asked. “Oh, I’m on my way to having a waitlist longer than I can even imagine. A lot of smaller bands want to work with me, which I love. I really and truly do this for the art, not the money, so I probably will take a break and do some smaller projects. I know Jen has been requested to come work with some brands in Japan for a bit, so I may join her there and act as her assistant. But, honestly? After all this travel? I think home is going to be nice for a while.” 

The three of you talked for a while, discussing all sorts of topics. When the bus pulled into the gas station, it shocked all of you that you’d already made it over the line into Florida. Jake woke Josh up with a gentle tap and you made your way off the bus. “Ugh, we are definitely in Florida,” Josh said with a grunt as you stepped off of the bus. Luckily Andy was on the other side of the bus, refilling the gas tank. “What do you mean by that?” you asked Josh with a chuckle. “It is humid. My hair is gonna hate this,” Josh replied gruffly as he ran a hand over his curls, still clearly working on waking up. 

Sam was already inside, ordering his lunch from the Subway inside the gas station. “Ah, look who made it,” he said with a smile. “You’re clearly rested,” Josh said as he poked at his little brother. Sam stuck his tongue out at Josh, who lurched to smack it. “I swear we were in the presence of toddlers,” Danny said with a sigh, Jake chuckling in agreement. Everyone ordered their sandwiches and headed back towards the buses. Sam and Josh decided to ride with you, both as a protective measure (Andy was still not trustworthy, according to Jake) and so they could do their final fittings. Jake and Danny rode in their bus, excited to nap after lunch. 

“Please make him sleep after you fit him,” Jake said, pointing at his twin before giving you a look. “I will make sure he sleeps,” you agreed, Jake nodding with approval. When you climbed back onto the bus, Andy was sitting at your desk, flipping through your sketchbook. “Oh, you’re back!” he said as he jumped up, closing the book quickly as he struggled to hide what he had been doing. 

“What are you doing back here?” Josh barked, clearly irritated. “Oh, I was just waiting for you guys to get back,” Andy said, running a hand through his thinning hair. “Well, we are back now and ready to go,” Sam added, his tone sharp, but not rude. Andy nodded and started to walk past the three of you but Josh stopped him as he tried to scoot past. “I suggest you stay out of things that aren’t yours,” Josh hissed. Andy nodded and continued to move past the group.

“That was weird,” Sam whispered, echoing what you were all likely thinking. You went over to your desk and picked up your sketchbook, moving it back to the shelf where it had been before you’d left the bus. “I’ll make sure he never sets foot on another bus if he so much as glances at you wrong,” Josh said to you before he took a bite of his sandwich. “If he is being this nosey, who knows what he has or will do,” Josh added as he chewed. 

“Easy killer,” Sam said with a chuckle. “I’m sure he was just looking around,” you said as you unwrapped your sandwich. “There isn’t anything in here that’s really secretive. I mean, besides the designs for the rest of the tour. But even that isn’t like a national security issue,” you said with a shrug. “It’s the principle,” Josh said quietly. “I don’t like him either Josh, but we will keep an eye on him,” Sam said as he ripped open his bag of chips, sending crumbs flying across the table. Josh rolled his eyes, but said nothing. “Jesus, you really do need a nap,” Sam said as he cleaned the table with a napkin, “or to get laid.”

Josh smacked his hand on the table, causing you to jump. The look he was giving Sam was lethal. “Shut up Samuel,” he hissed and Sam raised his hands in defense. “What? You know I’m right,” Sam replied. “Look, we can find you a nice girl in Florida. Pull out your old Tinder account and give it a tune-up. You don’t even have to have sex, just a blowjob, okay? It’ll fix you right up,” Sam said with a laugh, clearly enjoying tormenting his older brother. 

“Don’t be fucking vile, Sam,” Josh spat, his face reflecting utter rage. “Okay, okay, sorry,” Sam said, chuckling to himself as he turned back to his sandwich. You felt Josh’s eyes on you, but you refused to acknowledge the conversation, your eyes trained on your phone instead. “Well? Fucking apologize for being so vulgar, Samuel,” Josh barked. “Oh, uh, sorry. I was just joking,” Sam said, his eyes never leaving the table. “That was a shit apology,” Josh chastised before taking a bite of his sandwich, signaling he was done with the conversation. 

The three of you ate in silence for a moment before you decided to try to cool things off. “So, I’m really excited about this jumpsuit for you Josh. I pulled some inspiration from the costumes they use in ice skating competitions. I think the necklines and cutouts are really quite cool and I’m excited to maybe venture into more of that with your stuff,” you said with a smile, testing the waters. 

Josh looked up at you, his face calm and eyes warm. He gestured to the jumpsuit, which had been hung up on the wall. “I love it. I think it’s really interesting and adds some contrast. I know you had shown me some concepts a while back, and I think this was one of the ones I was especially excited about,” he said, returning your smile. 

“I see I’m bringing those red pants back,” Sam said, his mouth full as he turned to gesture towards his outfit. “Yes, there were many requests for their return,” you said with a chuckle. “Probably because my ass rivals his in them,” Sam said, giving Josh a gentle shove. Josh took it well and chuckled, shaking his head. “You wish,” Josh added, giving him an eyebrow wiggle. 

“Well, you may have me beat there. And in having your entire dick and balls out in front of everyone,” Sam added with a laugh. You rolled your eyes at that comment and pointed at Sam. “I’ve been working hard to ensure things stay concealed on this tour, okay? We are going for tight, but in all the right places,” you added with a laugh. “It’s okay to be jealous, Sam,” Josh said with another laugh and Sam flipped him off. “If you wanna talk length, I think-” Sam started, but Josh’s look shut him up instantly. “Again, quit with the vulgar shit Sam,” Josh shot and Sam nodded, returning to his sandwich. 

After lunch, they both tried on their ensembles, both sets of clothes fitting perfectly. “Another set without needing adjustments. I think I’m really getting the hang of your measurements and preferences,” you said as you helped Sam out of his suit jacket. “And my ass looks good?” Sam asked, turning and popping his butt out towards you. “Stunning,” you replied with a laugh. You were glad things seemed to be good between the two of you, especially after such a rocky start to the tour. 

Josh had been standing in front of the mirror, running his hands along the various cutouts on his jumpsuit. It was low-cut and had organic cutouts on the front, giving the piece movement along his chest. “I think this part hits perfectly and you don’t even need to wear any jewelry with it because it’s got an interesting neckline,” you said as you traced your finger along the top of the jumpsuit bodice. Josh tensed and you instantly removed your hand, realizing you had crossed a line. “You’re fine,” he whispered before clearing his throat and heading towards the back of the bus to change back into his street clothes. 

“Can you make me some cool underwear? Is that in your job description?” Sam asked and you turned to be met with him standing in his boxer briefs, gesturing to the sides. “I want something more fun because these are so boring,” he said with a sigh before pulling his pants on. You couldn’t help but laugh- the man had no filter sometimes. “Like when I bring a girl home and she sees these?” he said, gesturing to the plain pattern before zipping his pants up, “boring, right? But if it was like, I don’t know, Greta Van Fleet logos or something, now THAT would be sick.” You shook your head and held your hands up. “I’ll see what I can do Sam.” Josh came back into the work area and gently hung his jumpsuit up in the closet. “What do you think, Josh? Matching Greta Van Fleet underwear?” you said with a laugh. He shrugged and returned to his spot on the bench. “I bet we could sell those as merch and they’d do okay,” he said with a grin.

You ended up heading back to the bunks and taking a nap for the rest of the drive. Josh took the top bunk, telling you to wake him up if he snored. “You haven’t bothered me yet. I sleep like the dead, as you should know by now,” you added before rolling into your own bunk and drawing the curtains closed. You laid there for a minute, painfully aware of how close you both were. You thought about getting out of your bunk, crawling up into his and laying next to him, the heat from his body lulling you to sleep. Nope, we are professionals. And he doesn’t see me like that. One drunken kiss should not be enough to keep me in this spiral. Despite your desperate pleas with your brain, you fell asleep thinking of the man laying above you, with only a few inches of plastic keeping you separated. 

___________________________________________

“Wake up beyotches, we are hereeeee!” Sam’s voice carried, even through the thick curtain surrounding your bunk. You flipped your curtain open and were met with Sam in all his excited glory. “You better get up! It’s time for dinner! And Emily is back! Come on!” He said, slapping at Josh’s curtain before bouncing down the hall. 

Josh groaned and popped his head out of his bunk. “Is it really 7:30?” he asked and you gasped before checking your phone. “Shit, it is. I can’t believe I slept this long,” you replied. “We slept this long. I think we needed it though,” he said as he slid out of the bunk, his feet landing with a soft thud on the floor of the bus. You lifted yourself out of your bunk, sliding your shoes back on. 

“Latest update is that Albert is awake and doing well. They have his second surgery scheduled for tomorrow,” Josh said, looking up to give you a smile. “That is fantastic news,” you replied with a sigh. Before you could say anything else, Josh had grabbed you in a hug and was holding you tightly against his chest. You slowly wrapped your arms around him, the shock wearing off and giving way to comfort. Both of you stood like that for a moment, Josh taking a deep breath before squeezing you once more and pulling away. He held onto your shoulder for a moment as he looked at you. 

You gave him a smile and patted his hands with yours. “I’m so glad he’s going to pull through. I know he still has another surgery,” you started as you bent to find your purse and pull on a sweatshirt, “but I’m really glad things are finally looking up.” Josh nodded and put his phone in his pocket. “Shall we?” he asked, pointing towards the front of the bus. “We shall,” you said with a chuckle as you stuck your arm through his and pulled him along down the hall of the bus.

Andy was sitting in the driver's seat and watched as you and Josh headed towards the stairs. “If you guys ever need the bus to yourselves, just let me know,” Andy said with a wink. Josh stiffened and turned to confront him, but you pulled him towards the door. “No need, but thanks for the assumption. See you later,” you said before jumping down the last few stairs into the parking lot. “Fucking prick,” Josh cursed under his breath and you turned to look at him. “Ignore him. He’s a weird perv, we’ve already established that,” you said with a shrug. Josh just nodded and you both headed towards where the group was congregating outside a local Italian restaurant. 

Emily saw you first and walked towards you quickly, throwing her arms around you. “Oh I missed you,” she said. “I’m glad you’re back,” you replied, giving her a gentle squeeze. You pulled back and ghosted your hands by her belly, careful not to actually touch her. “How’s the peanut?” you asked. 

Emily placed her hands on yours, guiding them gently to rest on her belly. “Actually it’s peanuts,” she said with a huge grin. Your mouth fell open in shock. “Twins?!” you exclaimed and she nodded enthusiastically. “No way!” Josh said from beside you, reaching around to give Emily a gentle side hug. “And further along than I suspected. I’m actually 13 weeks today,” she said with another huge grin. “Emily, congratulations! Are you so excited?” you asked. “Yes. And terrified. But I’ve seen how twins can work out and I fully expect them to pop out with some talent after being around you two,” she said to Josh as she gestured towards him and Jake, who was leaning against the side of the building. 

The three of you chatted for a few more minutes before the group headed in, a table finally ready for a group your size. Emily insisted you sit next to her and fill her in on everything she missed. Josh took the spot on your other side, a comforting familiarity to the constant chaos. 

You spent the meal catching Emily up on everything that she’d missed and she showed the table pictures of her babies- little white squiggles swimming in a black abyss on the ultrasound printouts. “I think they’re going to be girls, but Jared thinks it’s going to be one of each- a boy and a girl,” Emily said. “Why not two boys?” Jake asked, raising an eyebrow. “Because I do not wish to speak that into existence. I’ve talked to your dear mother enough to know that twin boys are more than a handful,” Emily replied, pointing her finger at Jake and Josh. Josh held his hands up defensively. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. We,” he gestured from himself to Jake and back again, “were great. it was that one,” he pointed at Sammy, “that gave her the most trouble.” 

Sam looked up from his pasta, clearly lost in the conversation. “What? What’d I do?” he said. ”Enough. You did enough to drive mom mad,” Jake said with a chuckle as he sipped his wine. Sam shrugged. “Probably. Everyone knows that it’s the job of the youngest to cause chaos,” he added matter-of-factly. Everyone chimed in, sharing their own thoughts about birth order. You sat back and listened- being an only child you didn’t have much to contribute, but you loved to hear everyone recount their childhoods, no matter how chaotic and messy they were. 

You wondered how you got so lucky. This was truly the chance of a lifetime- designing centerpiece stage costumes for a star power band, surrounded by a group of talented individuals who wanted nothing more than to see you all collectively excel. Something about the journey you were on had you feeling extra nostalgic. 

As soon as you were checked into your hotel room, you decided to call Jen. She was working on a short project in California, so you used the time change to your advantage. 

“Hey, let me step outside real quick,” Jen said, barely audible over the loud music reverberating through the phone. You turned down your volume and waited for the background music to fade. “Okay, I’m here,” Jen said with a sigh. “Where are you?” you asked, sure the answer would be entertaining to some degree. “Some night club. You’d hate it. I almost do- it’s a bit too loud, even for me. But I hit it off with a few of the models and they wanted to show me how they party in LA. It’s got nothing on New York, I can tell you that,” Jen said smugly. She filled you in on her latest projects, getting some of your input on a few ideas she had before turning things over to you, 

“How’s teen beat land?” You rolled your eyes before taking defense. “They’re not teens, and they’re more talented than any stupid pre-teen magazine pop band,” you said. Jen laughed on the other end, making you smile. “So which one are you in love with?” Jen asked. “Wait, no, let me guess. I think there was a moment with the curly-headed tall one, but the lanky one kissed you… but you like the short one? With the goatee thing? And you kissed that one too,” Jen threw out, her descriptions making you giggle. “You’re on the nose,” you replied.

You filled Jen in on everything that had been happening. “I don’t think there’s really anything there, I think we are just always working together and he’s friendly,” you said, concluding with your position on Josh. Jen sighed loudly, making her feelings clear. “I think that you’re both into each other, especially after what Danny said. That you’re made for each other? You and Josh? One of his closest friends saying that has to mean something,” Jen pointed out. “I guess you’re right. It does hold weight,” you replied. “I think you guys should just have sex and see what happens. If it sucks, no hard feelings. If it's great, keep him on the backburner and have some fun during this stretch of time,” Jen proposed. “Look, I don’t think either of us are those kinds of people, okay? I’m just going to continue to feel things out, see where they go, remain professional,” you rebutted. “Whatever makes you happy. But if you guys end up married with five kids, remember that I said to just go for it. Okay?” Jen added. “Deal.”

You could’ve talked to Jen for another hour, filling her in about the drama with fans and Albert. You’d texted her the night Albert went to the hospital and she had been checking in for updates periodically. She knew he meant a lot to you, and therefore he meant a lot to her. “Look, I need to get back in there before they realize I’m missing and call me out for being a pussy. Hang in there and let me know how things go,” Jen said before giving you a final goodbye before hanging up.  

You heard a knock on the door and went to check who it was. You were surprised, but not shocked, to see Josh at your door. You opened it and he gave you a smile. “Sorry, I know it’s late, but Emily wanted to make sure you knew that we needed to get to the venue early again tomorrow. They’re expecting the same rigamarole with the GA line and wristbands or whatever and they want to ensure there aren’t any issues. They’re doing some sort of new lottery system or something, I have no idea.” He paused, looking you over for a beat before continuing. “They want us rolling out at 9:00. I guess that’s important to convey,” he said with a chuckle. He is nervous… why? 

You looked down and surveyed your pajamas, realizing you were in an oversized tee shirt, a pair of underwear hidden under the draping fabric. You moved further behind the door and smiled, trying to ignore your poor choice of wardrobe to greet your late night caller. “Thanks! I’ll see you in the morning!” you said quickly before giving him a final smile and closing the door. 

You watched through the peephole, your curiosity getting the best of you. Josh took in a deep breath and ran a hand through his loose curls before nodding and turning to head back in the direction of the twins’ room. 

That could’ve been a text. A text from Emily nonetheless. Or Ava could’ve just woken me up in the morning. What the hell was that?

__________________________________________

Your alarm went off at 8:30, eliciting a groan that rattled your soul. You checked your phone before getting up.

Danny: Jake and I walked across the street to the coffee shop, do you want a chai?

You: Yes please! 

You headed to the bathroom to start getting ready for the day and heard your phone buzz again. 

Danny: In return… Can you please ensure Josh and Sam get down on time? 

You: I guess…

Danny: Alright, there will be a muffin with your name on it too then! Thanks! 

You got ready quickly and were headed out the door by 8:45. You stopped by Sam’s room first, knocking a few times. He opened the door quickly, his face reflecting how tired he was. “Hey!” he greeted, surprisingly chipper for it being so early. “Good morning! I see that you’re alive and well. Can I trust you to be out of here and on the bus by 9:00 or do I need to pull you along with me as I go check on your brother?” you asked, giving him an eyebrow raise. He rolled his eyes, giving you your sassy answer. “Go get the diva up. I’m actually ready today,” Sam responded, gesturing down the hall quickly before turning and closing the door. 

It took Josh an extra moment to open his door, and he answered still clearly half-asleep. “Are you the wakeup crew?” he asked groggily. “I believe that I am,” you said as you walked past him and took a seat on the far bed. “And you have about ten minutes until I’m dragging you downstairs to the bus, ready or not,” you added.

“There’s lot’s that can be done in ten minutes,” Josh said under his breath. “What?” you asked even though you had clearly heard him. He cleared his throat as he pulled on a pair of pants over his boxer briefs.  “I’ll be ready well before ten minutes,” he said, much louder this time. “Well good. Because I’ll have a chai waiting on me upon your delivery to the bus, so the faster we can get there, the better,” you added with a smirk. 

He disappeared into the bathroom and reemerged a moment later, a toothbrush hanging out of his mouth as he picked a shirt out from his suitcase. He looked so… real and domestic standing there in front of you- casually brushing his teeth, his curls loose and wild and his skin still pink and warm from sleep. This Josh was worlds away from the one you clothed in elaborate costumes before he went onstage to entertain thousands of adoring fans.

He was ready within five minutes and you headed down to the bus. He was quiet, but turned to you once you were on the elevator. “Ava said you’re going to watch the show tonight. The whole thing for the first time. Is that true?” he asked. “I’ve seen the show before- there are screens backstage and I’ve caught glimpses when I’ve gone to concessions. But yeah, I think Ava wants me to actually sit and watch the show from seats, at least once. Not that I’d ever complain,” you replied. He gave you a smile, “I think you’ll really enjoy it. It’s different seeing it live and in front of you, seeing and experiencing the crowd. Compared to on the screens backstage, of course,” he added and you nodded. 

“Look who made it,” Danny said as you and Josh loaded onto the bus. “And…” Jake checked his watch, “with two minutes to spare! And you beat Sam.” Danny handed you a cup with your name printed on the side. “Your prize,” he said with a wink as he also passed you a bag that contained a blueberry muffin. “Thanks,” you said before moving to your spot at the table. Josh gave Jake a dirty look and Jake shot his hands up in defense. “Yours is at your seat, dear prince,” Jake said with a heavy dose of sarcasm. 

Sam stumbled onto the bus at 9:02, Emily right behind him. “Well, now that we have everyone,” she said, backing up and giving Sam a dirty look as he took a seat and took his coffee from Danny, “we will get on our way. See you guys there.” You all waved as Emily headed back off the bus. “She doesn’t want to ride with us? We are so much fun though,” Sam said with a chuckle. “Coffee is one of the smells that’s making her sick,” Danny said before taking a sip of his coffee. Everyone turned to look at him, collectively wondering how he, of all people, knew this. “What? I asked her if she wanted a coffee and she said she would, and I quote, ‘throw up everywhere if I got a coffee within three feet of her.’ So, that may be why.” 

“If I am ever that sick when pregnant, I just simply won’t leave my bed,” you said absentmindedly as you tore off a piece of your muffin. “You want kids?” Sam asked casually. “Oh, for sure. But that’s so far away, I can’t even think about it,” you said, waving your hand at the thought. You looked up to see Sam and Josh exchanging glances. Again, probably nothing. “What about you guys?” you asked. 

Danny chimed in first. “I guess I want kids, I dunno.” “Yeah, I think we are all on the fence about it except for Josh,” Sam added. “Josh was made to be a dad. I think the rest of us have cool uncle potential,” Jake added with a chuckle. “That’s not true! You like kids!” Josh replied, pointing at Sam. “Yeah, but there’s a difference between liking and doing well with kids and wanting them. Like, that’s forever,” Sam replied, shaking his head. “Well, yeah. I’d hope it’d be forever,” Josh said, giving him a face. “Being responsible for a human is a big undertaking, so it’s good to make sure it’s really what you want,” you added. Josh nodded, “huge, but also the greatest honor.” 

The conversation was ended abruptly by the sound of screams from outside the bus. You locked eyes with Josh, who motioned for you to come sit next to him on the bench on the side opposite the screaming. “Here, come sit,” he said quietly and you nodded. You sat and felt Josh put a protective arm around you, applying light pressure to help ground you. Jake and Sam went to the window on the opposite side, peering out between the blinds covering the glass. Danny alternated between keeping an eye on you and watching Jake and Sam. 

“Yeah, they aren’t even that close. We’ll be fine,” Jake said before turning around and plopping back down on the bench. Sam remained glued to the window, watching the ongoings outside. “Breathe,” Josh whispered in your ear and you realized you’d been holding your breath. You exhaled and took a sip of your tea before giving him a slight smile. “I’m okay,” you said quietly. Josh nodded, “I know. Just don’t want any panic, especially because we are fine.” Josh paused before raising his voice slightly to continue, “right Sammy? Are we okay?” 

Sam was quiet for a moment before answering. “Yeah, we are entering the gates now. They got closer, but venue security is keeping them back. It actually looks like there’s a group of fans pushing people back too, which is interesting,” Sam replied. “Yeah, I saw that some people were going after the fans that came up to the bus. Calling them out for inappropriate and unsafe behavior, that kind of stuff. I think a lot of them were pissed about it actually,” Jake added as he finished his bagel. “That’s good to hear. Some humanity left,” Josh said with a chuckle.

The bus came to a stop and Andy appeared from the front of the bus. “Well, we are in! Let me know if you guys need anything,” he said before winking at you. Sam faked a gag after Andy had walked away, laughing at himself. “It’s not funny. He’s utterly creepy,” Jake shot at Sam. Sam shrugged, “maybe, but I have a feeling he’s harmless. Just kinda gross.” Danny stood and shook his head, “well, we aren’t going to find out if he’s harmful or not because she won’t be on the bus alone with him, right?” The group nodded in agreement. “Alright, so show us what needs to be brought in so that you don’t have to come back out,” Danny added, motioning towards the closet. “I’ll get it with some venue staff, don’t worry. Let’s just go get settled,” you said as you stood. “No, I don’t trust them either. Between us, we can get it all,” Jake said, slinging his backpack over his shoulder as he moved towards the closet. 

You complied, and showed them what needed to go into the venue. Andy, of course, had comments when you all walked past him, clothing in tow. “I didn’t think the talent usually moves their own wardrobe,” he said with a snicker as he worked on filling out his log book. “Yeah, well, we’re not like most talent,” Jake shot back, his tone cold and serious. “I know that,” Andy said, giving you a once over before returning to his log. Danny nudged you and you headed down the stairs after Sam. “Disgusting,” Jake muttered under his breath. “Still think he’s harmless?” Josh asked Sam, who shook his head. 

_____________________________________________________

Time moved slowly when you got to a venue early and had to wait for call time. The group often got into shenanigans when they had to wait more than a few hours, Sam usually the ring leader. Today, he had decided to commandeer one of the security Segways and ride up and down the halls at break-neck speed, doing all sorts of quick maneuvers and turns.

“I fear you’re going to make me go into premature labor,” Emily had said to him as he drove past where Ava and Emily had been sitting with you. “Why?” Sam asked, pausing only for a moment before doing a few spins. “The sheer amount of stress you put me under cannot be helpful for a developing fetus, let alone two,” Emily added, raising an eyebrow at Sam. He laughed and took off down the hall, nearly running Danny over in the process. Danny ran after him, trying to pull him off of the Segway as they both laughed.

Jake stuck his head out of his dressing room, guitar in hand as he looked on with confusion. He turned to give the three of you a shrug before disappearing back into his room, the sounds of an acoustic guitar flowing freely through the air moments later. 

Everyone reconvened for lunch, and later in the evening, dinner. “What’s the setlist looking like?” you asked as you sat down next to Sam, who was looking over some notes he’d scribbled on a piece of paper. “Normal setlist for tonight. But Jake wanted to rework part of this,” he pointed to a scribble on the paper. “ to include some new stuff we are working on. I can’t seem to get it worked in,” he said, sighing in exasperation. 

“Just do the bridge music for the new song, it’s not that big of a deal Sam,” Jake said between bites of his sandwich. “Yeah, it is Jake, because it doesn’t go,” Sam said, looking over the table to shoot daggers at his brother. “Look, it seems to go really well with Cadence, why don’t we swap out the bridges? Or just tease the new stuff at the end of the bridge? Hm?” Danny said, taking a sip of his drink while he waited for an answer. You looked at Josh, who just shrugged. 

“Why do you guys want to do some new stuff?” you asked, genuinely curious. “Because someone thinks we always need to be three steps ahead even though some of us have to play and arrange the parts on how many different instruments? Hmm?” Sam shot at Jake. “You’re welcome to take guitar for a show. I’d love to see it,” Jake said quietly. “See, that’s not really funny, because you know I could do it. If the roles were reversed though? That’d be a sight to see,” Sam spat back. 

The air in the room grew thick with tension as the two faced off. “Well, in that case, put me on the drums I guess. Daniel, you’ve been working on your range, do you think you can hit a C7?” Josh said before chuckling. “You two are being ridiculous. Just play the normal set and we can figure it out on the road tomorrow. If you really want to do something spectacular, we can do the Highway and Safari mashup,” Josh added before finishing his drink and standing. Both Jake and Sam nodded. 

“Time to get ready,” Josh said before giving the group a wave as he headed towards his dressing room. “He’s getting ready late tonight. It’s already,” Sam checked his phone, “5:30. He only has a little over 3 hours to sit in his jumpsuit and do nothing.” You rolled your eyes but also stood and threw away your trash before following behind him. 

You pulled Josh’s costume off the rack in the hall and headed towards his dressing room. The door was slightly ajar but you still knocked before entering. “Hey,” he said with a soft smile as you entered, heading over to hang the jumpsuit on one of the hooks on the far wall. “Care to join me for a drink?” Josh asked, motioning towards where he’d turned on his electric kettle and started to make his pre-show concoction of alcohol, tea and honey. “Yeah, but not that,” you said with a chuckle before pulling a hard seltzer out of the room’s mini fridge. 

You took a seat in one of the push chairs near where he was mixing his drink. “Don’t knock it ‘til you try it,” he said, handing you his cup to try. You took a tentative sip and instantly made a face. “Josh, that’s straight whiskey and hot water with a hint of lemon. Putrid,” you said before taking a deep sip from your can. “Okay, but it works! I never have a sore throat, my voice is never scratchy,” Josh rambled as he walked over to his jumpsuit. 

“I love the red,” he said as he gently ran his hands over the night’s outfit. “How are you going to change it for the next show?” he asked. “Removing the sleeves,” you said matter-of-factly. “If you’re lucky, I may add some crystals. We will see how generous I’m feeling. Danny’s getting a new neckline and losing his sleeves, so I may have my work cut out for me. Sam is getting a wing and Jake is getting some more crystals. Both of those changes should be simple enough,” you said before waving your hand. “It doesn’t matter though.” 

Josh turned to look at you, his face hardened. “It does. Your work is really important. That’s why we specifically made sure to hire an incredibly talented designer to come along with us. We wanted our outfits to tell a story, to be an entire portion of our production. And that’s what you’ve done,” he replied. “No, I know,” you corrected, “I just don’t need to bore you with the details. You’ll see it when it’s all done, after all.” 

Josh walked over and leaned forward to level with you. He smelled sweet, like a mix of the honey and alcohol he’d been sipping on. “I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want to know,” he said quietly, goosebumps raising on your arms. “Yeah, you’re right,” you said as you leaned back, taking another sip of your drink. 

Ava popped her head into the dressing room, giving you a bright smile. “You’re still on to join me in the seats, right?” she asked and you nodded. “Okay, I’ll come find you before they go on and we can go find a spot in the reserved seats,” Ava said before giving you a wave and heading down the hall. 

Josh chuckled and shook his head after she had left. “What?” you asked. “Nothing,” Josh said before getting up and heading back over to carefully remove the jumpsuit from the hanger, turning to lay it out on a table. “Any surprises I need to be aware of putting this on?” Josh asked and you rolled your eyes. “You literally had it on the other day, Josh. It’s reinforced, so it’s not like it’ll combust once you put it on,” you said with a chuckle. “I know that, I just… it looks so delicate,” he said, pointing out the open panels in the jumpsuit which were held together by a mesh material. “It’s basically an ice skating costume, Josh. It’s flexible. It’s fine, I promise,” you said as you stood and walked over to the table. 

You flexed and pulled on the see-through fabric, twisting it to show him the durability. “Okay, okay, point take,” he said before taking the fabric from you and placing it back on the table before pulling his shirt off. “Please tell me you have the right underwear on,” you said, giving him a knowing look before taking another sip of your drink. “You know I never do,” he said with a grin. “Which is why I’ll finish changing in the bathroom.”

He disappeared behind the bathroom door and you laughed to yourself. You, Josh Kiszka, certainly haven’t left much to the imagination. You thought back to those first few meetings with the band when you went over general ideas and thoughts for wardrobe. “Please make it so Josh’s dick isn’t as prominent,” Jake had said before pointing to the printouts of previous costumes you’d set out on the table in your studio. “Like? Really? No more white, please, for the love of god. I cannot see another tweet about Josh’s massive horse dong,” Jake added, rubbing his face with his hands. “Look, I haven’t seen a single complaint,” Josh replied, throwing both of his hands up. Danny shot him a look, Sam pulling out his phone from his pocket. “I bet I can find one in thirty seconds or less,” Sam said as he opened his phone and began typing. “Okay, more groin coverage, I got it,” you had said, the group agreeing at varying levels. 

And now here he stood- the same man from those meetings, yet so much had changed. The second he stepped out from behind the bathroom door, your heartbeat altered, your chest squeezing at the sight of him. The red material draped over his body, each cutout perfectly placed and each crystal catching the light at the perfect angle. He was breathtaking, even in the shitty dressing room lighting. 

He looked up from where he’d been adjusting the strap over his collarbone. “That good, huh?” he asked with a sly grin. You swallowed hard, putting the world back into focus. “I think this one may be my best yet,” you replied. He walked over to assess himself in the full-length mirror near the door. “Yeah, I’d second that statement,” he said before turning and giving you a big grin. “And you get to see it on stage. How exciting is that?” 

Ava came back into the dressing room, stopping mid-sentence when she saw Josh. “Oh yeah, that’s one for the books for sure,” she said and Josh did a little twirl, showing her the entire jumpsuit. Ava turned to you, “Sam wanted me to see if you still had that pair of slip on black loafers? He wants to wear shoes for some reason, so I told him I’d ask you.” You stood, putting your drink down on the coffee table. “Yeah, I have them on the bus. Let me go grab them,” you said before giving Josh another smile and heading towards the back lot. 

The backlot was quiet, everyone caught up in pre-show preparations. You hurried back to the bus and put in the combination before opening the door and heading back to the closet. It was a bit of a disorganized mess, but you were able to find the pair of shoes Sam had requested quickly. 

“Well… hello gorgeous,” you heard a voice behind you croak. You rose instantly, pressing your back against the clothes in the closet as you spun. Your hand found your chest as you took a deep breath. “Oh, Andy, you scared me,” you said with a chuckle as you tried to dissipate the alarm bells sounding in your head. “I was hoping maybe we would have a moment alone together,” Andy said.

-------------------------------------------------------

writer's note: just a gentle reminder that everything I write is completely and utterly fiction

much love to my forever editor: @joshs-jonch

taglist: @eyelinerjake @radmads-gvf @gretavansara @everyglowinthetwilightknows

[nopulse2now]

This is the night our super sexy cpr

I'm really hoping she'll let me do what we talked about. I find her in bed, her arm dangles from the bed. Her hair isn't styled and wow incredible make-up job, blue lips and pale skin, white spit from her mouth

God I gotta record this this is gonna be good

I call her name she's groggy and shaky. Shit she's really cold. I can't find a pulse. I begin to pump her chest on the bed and get the pads out for the AED. My one complaint I pointed out to her that she was tense and looked fake

I began to do rescue breaths and I felt no resistance and her chest rose with each long breath I forced into her lungs.

I rigged the aed to give a low voltage shock. I hit her with the paddles. CLEAR. I begin to push gently on her chest so her belly ripples up and down . .while I'm having fun I've got a hard on and want to switch. Ok my turn.. hurry B4 the battery runs out !! I pump her chest again waiting for her to come out of character

I charge the Aed and slam her chest to the floor. So despite warnings about hard core CPR.. I shock her at 300 and her back arches. I happen to glance at the nightstand and see the pills scattered on the floor. I realize she ate the pills her breathing is slow

I put her make-up mirror in front of her nose and mouth to see any breath and see none.

Oh God God..OMG how long has she been down? I continue CPR one handed and call 911 and say my girlfriend is in full arrest. Yes trained in Cpr and the AED. I get the pads on her still chest, a bystander is now giving her chest compressions

As I watch her chest crashing in on itself The AED says to stop chest compressions. She's hit at 300 twice. .The EMT takes over and asks how this happens and I say sleeping pills

Yes but what were you doing when this happened? Um we were playing a sex game... What did you do to choke her into cardiac arrest and try and bring her back??

Oh no no not like that it's role play. Rated G we do fake CPR and AED were pretending but...

Ok uh sir you're looking a little pale. I realize I've been running on adrenaline for over an hr. But now that I'm calming down I have a crushing pain in my chest. My girlfriend opens her eyes as they continue to pump her chest. Then lots of cheering and she looks my way in time to see them working on me hard.

AED saying my rhythm is not shockable

Over and over again

Needles are jammed in my heart

We're loosing him

She sits at my bed side and holds my hand

I feel so happy she's here with me holding my hand

Telling me I'm gonna be alright you'll see... Suddenly her eyes open wide in horror as the flatline sound rings in her ears

I'm sad as I see her rushed from the room while they continue life saving measures, they look at the monitors and realize I never had a chance

The machine ceases to pump and my chest stops moving.