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charincharge · 2 months

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I Don't Want To Wait, sixty-seven

rowaelin high school bff au masterlist

AN: WHOOPS, I disappeared for two years. (Legit the last chapter was posted in May 2022!). But I’m back and have written… a lot of the rest of this fic, so we’re just going to post weekly (or even twice weekly!) until we’re finished. And I hope you’re still out there, anyone, to enjoy it. Quick recap for a previously on IDWTW. Aelin and Rowan had sex! It was great. Then they walked in on Rhoe and her dance teacher Petrah having sex, which was NOT great. Aelin never wants to go back to dance again. We returned to school. Senior second semester is going great. Busy for Aelin, who is still trying to work her butt off re: APs and grades. Less busy for Rowan, who is already recruited to college for lacrosse. Aelin and Lys had a huge falling out, but have slowly rekindled their friendship now that Lys is sober and working on her shit. Elide and Manon came out! They’re running as homecoming queens! Dorian and Chaol haven’t DTRed and are taking a break. Last we left off, Aelin texted someone to help retrieve her lacrosse hoodie from the dance studio after hours. But who? Keep reading to find out. Also, I have been gone for so long that I have NO idea who is still in the fandom or reading Rowaelin fic. Please reblog to spread the word! Taglist doesn't seem to possible anymore, so please share! Love you all and missed you all. Comment, message, meme, gif, whatever. Let’s go, team.

Aelin watched with wide eyes as Lys lowered into a crouch and removed a bobby pin from her hair. When she’d texted her friend to help with her mission, she hadn’t realized that Lysandra was a bona-fide expert at breaking and entering.

“It got boring in rehab,” Lys said with a small shrug, as if that explained her masterful lock-picking.

“Good to know,” Aelin said, chewing her thumb nervous and glancing over her shoulder at Rowan, who waited patiently in the jeep — aka, their getaway car. She didn’t think they’d actually need one, but this whole thing was such a thing, she figured it was probably safest to have a getaway car. What if the cops were called about the break-in, and they had to run?

Aelin almost chuckled at the thought of Orynth’s elderly Police Chief trying to run after them, but it hadn’t stopped her from telling Lys to dress all in black and meet them at the dance studio at eight. Luckily, Rhoe was at the station overnight, so he couldn’t see their ridiculous antics. But, after all, this mission was serious. She tried to refocus on Lys, who was finagling with a pin in the lock, taking her sweet time. A rush of panic ran through Aelin. What if they got caught? What if this got put on her permanent record? What if they got arrested?

BZZZZ. Aelin’s phone vibrated in her hand, making her jump with surprise.

“Gods,” she muttered under her breath, causing Lys to chuckle under her breath.

“Tell your buzzard not to worry, we’re almost there,” she said, twisting the pin again in a different direction. Aelin sighed at the reassurance. She knew that Rowan had to be feeling her nerves as well. Although maybe not quite as much. She wasn’t usually concerned about being a rule follower, but every step of the way had made her feel more and more stressed out. Which might have to do more with her overbearing boyfriend watching their every move than anything else. Couldn’t he just sit there and look cute and not worry? She looked at his text and shook her head. She should have known it’d be impossible. He was the biggest worry wart of them all.

Are you sure no one’s in the studio? It looks like the lights are on upstairs. Rowan texted from the front seat, his view of the studio probably better than theirs. But Aelin had spent too many years of her life at this studio. Despite her churning stomach, she knew they were fine.

Last class ended an hour ago. They always leave the lights on for the cleaning staff, but they get Fridays off, so they’re on until Saturday morning. It was part of my class schedule to turn the lights off. We’re good.

She looked over her shoulder after sending the text, and watched as Rowan threw a thumbs up in her direction. She couldn’t help but laugh at how silly he looked in his oversized black hoodie with the hood up. Despite completely disapproving of her decision, he showed up ready for the assignment at hand.

“Tadaaa,” Lys sang out quietly as the lock clicked open, the door popping ajar.

“Honestly, when I asked you to help me break into the dance studio, I figured we’d be throwing a rock into a window or something,” Aelin whispered, even though there was absolutely no reason to whisper at all. Aelin had timed it purposefully, so she wouldn’t have to run into … anyone. Okay, she really didn’t want to have to talk to Petrah. She’d avoided the studio (and Petrah) for so many weeks following the revelation that she’d been involved with her dad, and she had no intention of breaking that now. So, they’d had no choice but to break into the studio under the cover of darkness.

“Don’t thank me yet,” Lys said. “The door upstairs has a lock, too, right?”

Aelin nodded. Annoyingly, there were three doors they had to break open — the building door, the door to the second floor, and then the dance studio entrance. Thank god Aelin had her locker key, so that wasn’t a worry.

“So, why are we doing this again?” Lys asked as they trudged up the long stairwell to the second floor. She tried not to flinch as the rubber-covered stairs squeaked beneath her shoes. “Not that I’m not happy to help,” she continued. “I just thought that you started dancing again and loved it?”

“Ugh,” Aelin groaned. “I did.” Aelin paused for a beat too long, causing Lys to flip her dark curls over her shoulder to get a better look at Aelin.

“But?”

“It’s…complicated,” Aelin sighed as Lys crouched down in front of the second floor door.

“Well, this is going to take a minute,” Lys laughed. “Tell me.” Aelin was going to refute again when Lys’s voice changed, softer. “Unless you don’t want to…”

Aelin nearly smacked herself. She’d thought this would be a ridiculous, fun (and pretty low-stakes) way to hang out with Lys again, and here she was totally ruining it by keeping things to herself again.

“No, it’s not like that,” Aelin reassured her as she continued to work on the lock. “It’s just… horrifying.”

“Well now you can’t not tell me,” Lys snickered, but Aelin recognized the slight trepidation in her friend’s green eyes. Still nervous to push things. Aelin bit the bullet and let it out in a whoosh.

“Oh my GOD.” Lys’s nose crinkled, and she fell to her knees completely as her shoulders shook with laughter as Aelin told her story. “I mean, we all knew Rhoe fucked,” Lys cackled, causing Aelin to smack her friend’s knee.

“EW! That is my dad,” she said, fake heaving.

“He’s a hot, hot firefighter daddy, though,” Lys said, her eyebrows wiggling.

“I swear to god I will vomit straight on you.”

Aelin tried to be serious, but Lysandra’s smile pushed them both over the edge into a fit of giggles. They laughed and laughed, releasing the tension that had been hovering around them like a thick blanket all night, officially removing all traces of formality. Unable to help herself, Aelin reached out for her friend’s hand, squeezing her fingers gently and was relieved as Lys squeezed back. They weren’t healed, per se, but they were healing, and that was the most that Aelin could really ask for right now.

Taking a breath and wiping the remnant tracks of tears from her cheeks, Lys pushed herself back up to her knees. “Second lock?”

“Speaking of my family…” Aelin started nervously, but forged on, curious. “How’s Aedion doing?”

To her credit, Lys didn’t even lose pace as she unlocked the next door with ease.

“I know you want me to reply with something equally scandalous, but there’s nothing going on between me and Aedion,” Lys replied succinctly. “We’re friends.”

“Okay,” Aelin said, not completely convinced, but chose to respect her boundaries and believe her words.

The pair fell into an awkward silence as they headed down the hall toward the studio door. Just one last lock to get through — and then she’d never have to return to this place. A part of her heart panged at that thought, that she’d be leaving Orynth and this studio behind and not really getting to say goodbye to it. But running into Petrah was NOT an option.

“Hey, isn’t this the studio?” Lys asked of a propped open door, a gentle music wafting from inside. Aelin’s stomach sank. Had someone stayed late tonight practicing? It was a plus that they wouldn’t have to break into yet another door, but she really didn’t want to risk running into anyone. “I thought you said it was closed.”

At the same time, the pair noticed the schedule on the door, showing the company’s new rehearsal schedule. Their rehearsals now went until nine on Friday night, meaning that Aelin had shown up in the middle of a packed studio, instead of an empty one. And one where Petrah would surely be. She contemplated turning right around, but Lys had already opened the door too far, leading them into the studio lobby where the company was on break, milling around and refilling their water bottles.

And at the front desk, Petrah’s eyes widened with surprise upon seeing her. “Aelin!”

She should have guessed breaking in had been too easy. Had the doors even been locked? She knew Lysandra had gotten through them too quickly! Grumbling, she stepped out of the shadow and into the lobby toward Petrah. She couldn’t run away anymore, so she had no choice but to say hello to the woman who she’d been studiously avoiding for weeks. And by the look on Petrah’s face, she knew it, too.

“I’ll go grab your jersey,” Lys whispered, leaving her to fend for herself. “See you downstairs!”

“Traitor,” Aelin mumbled under her breath as Lysandra all but ran into the locker room, excusing herself from the awkward conversation that surely lay ahead. She wanted to run, but her feet were stuck, watching Petrah approach nervously.

“Aelin,” she said again, taking a deep breath. “I’ve been wanting to talk to you….” But Aelin cut her off.

“I don’t want to talk about it!” she said, ready to slap her hands over her ears, lest Petrah talk about her dad in any less than completely formal way.

Petrah’s deep pink lips curled up on one side in amusement, but Aelin watched as she took another deep breath and shook off whatever she’d been about to say. Instead, she watched as her smile fell into a wistful expression. “We’ve missed seeing you around here,” Petrah said.

Aelin’s eyes shot to the open doorway of the studio where the company practiced, all jetes and pirouettes and well-supported port de bras. She had missed dancing. She really had just gotten back into it when she let it fall away. Petrah must have seen her expression because she smiled faintly and let her delicate hand fall to Aelin’s shoulder.

“You could join the class. Dance it out,” Petrah suggested.

Aelin couldn’t tear her eyes away from the dancers. She watched the emotion pour from them. That is what she needed. But as Lysandra held up her jersey and trailed down the stairs in the periphery of her vision, Aelin shook her head.

“I can’t tonight.”

“I understand that it might be strange to spend time with me after what you overheard…” Petrah trailed off as blood pooled in her cheeks, filling her usual pale complexion with a deep blush. “It was completely casual. It’s only happened a handful of times, and we both know it’s not serious. I’m not trying to replace your mother, or anything like that, it’s just… an occasional stress release, and oh my god, I am sorry I didn’t mean to say any of that.” Aelin cringed at the words. She wanted to stop Petrah, but the woman couldn’t be stopped even if she wanted to. “Please don’t give up dance because of this,” Petrah pleaded. “You have such a gift, Aelin, and I would be filled with regret for the rest of my life if I knew I was the cause of you walking away from it.”

Aelin took a breath, the comforting scent of chalk and worn leather infiltrating her senses and calming her down as she figured out what to reply to Petrah. Of course she wanted to dance still. It was undeniable, the way her body pulled her toward the studio, the way a sense of calm settled through her despite her initial discomfort upon seeing Petrah. She thought about her lack of free time and her constantly building stress as the semester went on and how badly she wished she could just dance it out. That release of emotion centered her, and she knew that she was feeling off kilter without it. Making time for dance had improved her life drastically — it'd kept her sane as the rest of her semester spiraled out of control — and she wanted it back. So, so badly.

She was on the verge of agreeing to join the practice when there was a crash and loud shriek from the studio. When the shriek morphed into a choked sob, a churning nausea overwhelmed Aelin. She watched as Petrah’s face morphed into one of horror as she sprinted into the studio. Sure enough, one of the dancers was on the floor, cradling her ankle, cheeks red and involuntary tears dripping down her skin, while another dancer attempted to help her stand. The girl hissed, crying out in pain and sat down again.

“Call an ambulance,” someone ordered, and suddenly there was a frenzy, a rush of dancers looking on in terror at the injury in front of them. Aelin stood with her back against the wall, not wanting to be in the way, slinking out of sight while so much was going on. It felt like a sign from the universe that Aelin shouldn’t even think about wasting her time with dancing. Like the gods warned her that she had way too much going on to even consider it.

With Petrah distracted, Aelin slipped out, trying to gain control of her waging feelings. She slid into the backseat next to Lys, her mind reeling and unable to get the image of the crying dancer out of her head. So caught up in her own thoughts, she didn’t even hear Rowan call out to her, until red and blue flashed behind them. He swung his head over her shoulder, his mouth agape in horror as he stared at his unusually quiet girlfriend.

“Ace, what did you do? Are those the cops?!”

Aelin shook her head, the horrible feeling of nausea persisting in her gut as Rowan drove away from the studio.

. . .

It had been days since Aelin had received a text from an unknown number, and she still hadn’t decided what she was going to do.

I thought you should know we’re holding an emergency dance company audition this Tuesday at 5pm. Please come, Aelin.

Aelin chewed her sandwich thoughtfully as she pulled up the text again. The audition was merely hours away, but she was still on the fence.

“You still haven’t made up your mind?” Lysandra asked, glancing at Aelin’s phone screen. Her former — maybe current — friend had started joining them at the lunch table in the last few days since their late night break in, continuing to heal and thaw what had broken between them.

“I keep telling her to pro con list,” Rowan said, letting his fingers trail across the back of her neck and kneading the tight muscles there with his strong grasp.

“Mmmm,” Aelin mumbled, leaning further into his touch. “Con. Time spent without you.”

“Pro, something to do while I’m at lacrosse practice,” he countered as his fingers massaged a particularly tender part of her neck. She angled her head so he could have better access, but he took it as an invitation to let his head drop to her bare skin and press his lips against it, causing her body to light up. As she leaned toward him with another light moan, Dorian slammed his tray down on the table with a loud thwack.

“Get a room or get outta here,” he complained, tossing a fry at the still-intertwined pair.

“Someone’s got their panties in a bunch,” Aelin laughed as she tossed the fry back at the offender.

“My panties are perfectly smooth, thank you very much,” Dorian quipped. “Some of us would just prefer not to bear witness to your foreplay.”

“Pro,” Rowan whispered into Aelin’s ear, his lips ghosting against the tickling skin there. “I really love watching you dance.”

“Pro,” Aelin whispered back. “Increased stamina, muscle strength, and flexibility.”

Aelin glanced up at Rowan, who was already staring back at her with a fiery intensity. Her eyes glanced down at his mouth, which was curled into a satisfied smirk. His throat bobbed with a slow swallow, surely thinking of all the way those fitness benefits could be put to good use. She leaned in slightly, her lips a hairs breadth away from his when another fry hit her cheek. Aelin whipped her head around, rubbing at the salty spot where the food had made contact with her face.

Dorian was the picture of innocence, eyes wide as he chewed his own fry.

“Con,” Lys interjected. “Increased horniness.”

“Literally didn’t think that was possible,” Dorian said with a snort. “So, what are we pro-conning?” he asked, popping another fry into his mouth.

“Orynth Dance Company is having an emergency audition after an injury, and Aelin was personally invited to try out,” Lysandra explained.

“But I don’t really have the time,” Aelin started. “It would require actual rehearsal time. Like, a lot of nights. Not just an hour long class. Plus, I’d have to see Petrah every day. And I have to knock this last semester’s grades out of the park if I want to even think about getting a scholarship anywhere, plus I have a million AP exams to study for coming up, and that’s not even considering keeping up with hospital volunteering and going to your games and having any kind of semblance of a social life and…” she trailed off, her stomach finally settling as she came to the conclusion she knew she was going to come to all along. “I can’t join the dance company.”

Rowan frowned and reached for her hand. “Are you sure, Ace?” His hand wrapped around hers in a comforting squeeze, and she knew he was asking seriously. “We could make it work. I could help you study, we could bring out your color-coded schedule again to make sure we could fit everything in.”

“I know,” Aelin sighed, squeezing back. “But, I’m sure.”

But as the afternoon ticked by, Aelin couldn’t ignore the swirling feeling of guilt trying to pull her under. She was so distracted by the approaching time that she completely zoned out through all of AP Lit, startling when the period ended and Dorian poked her side.

And as five PM approached closer and closer, she found herself growing more agitated and even snapping at Rowan at one point. It wasn’t his fault; he had to head off to lacrosse practice, but Aelin had found herself so worked up that she had thought maybe he’d want to help release some tension.

“I’ll come right over after practice,” Rowan promised as he twined his hands around her waist.

“But you’ll be all sweaty and gross,” Aelin replied with a frown.

“I thought you liked when I get sweaty,” he laughed, nuzzling his nose into her hair. Aelin sighed, knowing she was being petulant, but she couldn’t get out of her own head.

“Only when I’m the one doing it!”

She tried to push him away, but Rowan’s grasp on her was iron-clad, too tight for her to even think about prying him off her. “Ace,” he lowered his voice. “I would love nothing more than to skip practice and be with you, but you know this is the only thing I need to do this semester to keep my place at Wendlyn.”

“Because Wendlyn’s more important than me?”

“I think you need a snack,” Rowan laughed, but Aelin didn’t find that funny at all.

“Sorry my blood sugar problems are amusing to you,” she said, stiffening within his grasp. She felt Rowan sigh deeply and watched as he pinched the bridge of his nose and scrunched his brows up the way she loved so much.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized. “You know that’s not—”

“I know,” Aelin replied quickly. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s gotten into me.”

Rowan raised a single brow as if to tell her he knew exactly what had gotten into her, and so did she.

“It’s not even four yet,” Rowan said. “You could still go.”

But Aelin was nothing if not resolute. She’d made up her mind, and it was completely logical. And she was sticking to it. No, she’d head home and, yes, get a snack, and dig into her lit homework. Maybe Dorian would be willing to give her his notes from the class, seeing as she couldn’t remember a single thing that was discussed earlier.

She forced a smile and shrugged her shoulders back. “Nope, you were right. I need a snack. I’ll head to Maeve’s and see what she’s got for me.”

Rowan grimaced. “She closed for the afternoon, actually, while they put in a new stove, but she should be reopened by the time I’m out of practice.” Aelin shivered as Rowan let his fingers trail in small circles up and down her back. “Why don’t I stop there on my way to your place after practice? Cheeseburger and brownies?”

“And then orgasms?” Aelin asked, causing a loud snort to erupt from Rowan.

“You want to have sex after cheeseburger and brownies? That feels dangerous.”

“Well, we could have sex first, but reheated cheeseburgers are pretty garbage,” Aelin replied, loving the soft smile that appeared on Rowan’s face. It was the one solely reserved for her. When she was being particularly ridiculous or annoying, it was like he couldn’t help but love her more, and the small curve of his lips let her know that.

“You’re right. Cheeseburgers first,” he paused. “Then sex, then brownies?”

“Deal,” Aelin said as she reached her hand out to shake his. But he instead grasped it in his and brought it to his mouth, kissing her knuckles lightly.

“I love you,” he said.

And though Aelin wanted to roll her eyes, she took a moment to relish the fact that her best friend in the whole world loved her. And would do anything to make her smile. In fact, he’d succeeded in getting her too distracted to think about the auditions and…

As soon as she thought about them, her smile faded again.

“Just go,” he whispered, but Aelin shook her head.

“Have a good practice. See you in a few hours.”

She kissed him and sent him off, hoping to pour herself into her studies. But even with her book open, Aelin digested none of what she was reading. She kept looking at the clock, distracted. Even as it passed five pm, knowing that she was missing the auditions, she still couldn’t focus. And her mood started to plummet.

It plummeted even further as she received a text from Rowan saying that their coach needed him to stay behind for a bit after practice and that he’d be later than anticipated.

She tried to read more, and when that didn’t work, she attempted to do some math equations, but she couldn’t get her brain to work. She knew what she needed. And it was to dance it out. Despite everything, that was still her best coping mechanism. When a second text from Rowan came in, apologizing for being even later, Aelin had had enough. She couldn’t just sit here and wallow. Instead, she wrote a note for whoever would get home first – her dad, Lorcan, or Rowan — and began walking.

She didn’t even know where she was walking until she ended up at the dance studio. It was unlocked, but empty. She couldn’t remember if there had been an end time to the auditions, but it seemed completely deserted. No one was sitting at the front desk, and the lights were eerily dim. This is what she’d expected to walk into last week when she’d stolen back her lacrosse hoodie, and she was even more annoyed about it somehow.

Instead of focusing on that, though, she went straight for the first open studio and turned the lights on. The fluorescent bulbs overhead flickered on, illuminating the wooden floors beneath with a warm yellow glow. She toed her sneakers off and padded barefoot to the corner of the studio where the massive (and ancient) stereo system was stored. She pulled her phone out and connected it, pulling up one of the old playlists Rowan had made for her and closed her eyes, letting the music wash over her. Her feet took off, working in sync with the rhythm reverberating through the bare floor. Next, her arms spread, stretching out and shaking off the stress of the last few weeks.

For the first time, she really let herself feel it. The worrying and wondering what the future would hold. She knew Rowan was destined for Wendlyn, but she had no idea what she would do if she didn’t get in, too. He’d assured her that they’d stay together and figure it out, but who really stays with their high school boyfriend? She knew they weren’t like everyone else – they were special – but it didn’t stop her from thinking about it and wondering. When it came down to it, that’s why she really couldn’t bring herself to audition today. She couldn’t risk spending less time with Rowan, not if this was the last few weeks of their relationship.

Whoa. Where did that thought come from?

She ignored the small tear that pooled in the corner of her eye, letting it drip down her cheek as she spun in time with the music. How could she doubt her and Rowan’s relationship after all this time? She knew in her soul that they were destined to be together. She couldn’t imagine a world where she didn’t wake up and see him every day. But there had been a small slice of fear since they first kissed, and it had ebbed and flowed with each passing day until it was now a gaping chasm in the pit of her stomach. The idea that she could end up elsewhere without Rowan was a real, actual problem. And the timeframe was closing in on them. What if this was the end of them? How would she ever recover?

Her hands reached overhead and then she let her body collapse to the floor in a graceful fall, letting go over the overwhelming sensations of fear that had been swirling and threatening to paralyze her. She arched her back and her neck released, the tension that Rowan had tried to knead attempting to relax and letting gravity pull her down, down, down.

It wasn’t that she didn’t trust Rowan. She did. More than anything. She just didn’t trust this world. She didn’t trust that everything would work out the way it was supposed to. I mean, just look at her dad. He’d thought he’d found the love of his life, and she walked away like it was nothing. Walked away from Aelin.

She didn’t want to cling to Rowan, to be the girl who changed her whole life just to be with a guy. She wasn’t that person. No. She was Aelin fucking Galathynius, and she could live life fully on her own. But she wanted to be with Rowan. Wanted the whole package. Saw their life together. And wanted more than anything for it to become a reality. But what if that future disappeared? What if it was cut short? What if they drifted apart. What if they tried to do long distance? Last summer while he was at camp was only two months and it was pure torture. It caused a rift so big between them that she wasn’t sure they’d overcome it. And yes, of course they did. But… to do it again? And for four years?

Her emotions threatened to choke her as she continued to dance out her frustrations, stomping and spinning and leaping, hoping against all hopes that the answers to her anxieties would appear if she could only dance long enough. She left every feeling, every worry, every gnawing anxiety on the dance floor, letting it tumble out through her moving limbs.

She didn’t know how long she’d been dancing when she opened her eyes again and refocused at herself in the mirror. She didn’t recognize the girl she saw there. She may not have come up with any answers, but she felt better. Raw, red eyed, red cheeked, and breathing hard, Aelin felt totally exposed. Which is why she nearly jumped out of her skin when a voice cut through the silence, over her harsh exhale.

“Practice starts next week.”

The director of the company stood in the darkened doorway of the studio, arms crossed and lips pursed in thoughtful approval.

“Oh, I wasn’t—”

“I know you weren’t,” she said with a formal smile. “But we’d still love to have you. If you want.”

It wasn’t necessarily the answer she had hoped to reach, but something about this moment felt like the universe trying to reassure her. That things do work out the way they’re supposed to.

“Yeah?” she asked, feeling somewhat hopeful.

“Yes.”

“Okay,” she said.

A wide smile crossed the director’s face. “Welcome to the Orynth Dance Company,” she congratulated her.

Aelin didn’t know what had overcome her, but she couldn’t help but run over to her and throw her sweaty arms around her neck in a giant hug.

“Thank you.”

Right on cue, Aelin’s phone buzzed with another incoming text.

Cheeseburgers en route. See you soon. Xx

. . .

As anticipated, the cheeseburgers were exactly what Aelin needed to rejuvenate herself, but Rowan was totally right that there was no way to be sexy after housing a half pound of meat and cheese.

“I’m so stuffed,” she said, patting her extremely full stomach.

Rowan snorted. “Why don’t we take a post-dinner break and watch something?”

“Only if it’s Housewives!” Lorcan shouted from the kitchen where he was cooking dinner for him and Rhoe, who were properly affronted that Rowan hadn’t brought them cheeseburgers, as well.

Aelin sighed and chuckled softly as she let herself slump over onto Rowan, who was already pulling up Housewives onto the television.

“You are such an enabler,” Aelin laughed.

“It’s easier than dealing with him being pouty,” Rowan smartly replied.

Aelin was about to agree when they were interrupted by an unusual ring tone.

“I’m sorry,” Rowan said, sitting up suddenly. “Is that your… home phone?”

Aelin genuinely couldn’t remember the last time that had rung. Usually she and her dad were both contacted on their cells. They really just had a home line because it was part of their internet package. She couldn’t even remember who had that number.

“Uh, phone’s for you Aelin?” Lorcan shouted from the kitchen.

Even weirder?

“Who the hell would be calling this late on a Tuesday?” Aelin whispered. Rowan’s brow lifted.

“Why don’t you go see?”

Curious, Aelin pried herself off the couch and headed to the kitchen where Lorcan was standing with a spatula in one hand and the phone in the other.

“Who is it?” she whispered.

Lorcan shrugged, simply shoving the phone forward. Helpful.

Aelin cradled the phone against her ear and took a deep breath. “Hello?”

“Hello!” A deep voice rang out over the phone. “Is this Miss Aelin Galathynius?”

“Um,” she cleared her throat. “Yes?”

“Excellent!” the voice boomed, causing her to pull the phone away from her ear slightly. “My name is Xavier Forul, and I’m a local alum of Wendlyn University. I’d love to have you in for an interview some time in the near future. Whenever you’re available! I know you’re a busy senior with a lot on her plate.”

Aelin’s heart took off, beating faster as his words unfolded.

“Interview?”

“Yes,” he continued. “It’s my favorite part of the process. As a former Wendlyn man myself, I get to sit down and speak with young promising applicants to see what their goals and ambitions might be and how they might become part of the Wendlyn world.”

Aelin glanced at the silver-headed mop peeking out above the couch and exhaled slowly. This was it. The universe reassuring her. She felt it with every fiber of her being. She could dance, she could nail her classes this semester, and she’d get into Wendlyn and be with Rowan.

“Wow, thank you so much for reaching out,” Aelin began, her autopilot pilot voice taking over. “I’d love to meet with you.”

As Xavier explained the details of the interview, Aelin’s hope buoyed. She’d been waiting for a sign from the universe, something to tell her that she and Rowan were going to work out and be fine. If a personalized phone call on a landline that hadn’t rung in more months than she could count, inviting her into the home of a University alum wasn’t a sign, she didn’t know what was. And Aelin began to hope for the first time that everything was going to actually work out.

~*~

#idwtw #idwtw au #rowaelin #rowaelin fan fic #rowaelin fic #tog fanfic #throne of glass #rowan x aelin #she's backkkk #i stg i'm finishing this fic #no fic left unfinished

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profound-imagination · 1 year

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Broken Promises - Fenrys Moonbeam

A/N: I thought I'd try something different and write for the TOG characters! There's not enough fics on here about them and Fenrys is my favourite lil wolf boy ❤️ This could definitely have a part 2 if people want it! I hope you like it!❤️

W/C: 2.8K

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The last place you thought you'd be was chasing ghosts with three fae males and another human girl, but here you were. All for that insufferable wolf. The one you couldn't shake from the moment you'd met him in Skull's Bay. Not to mention the young Queen of Terrasen who Rowan Whitethorn would hunt to the ends of the earth for, the four of you in tow.

It had been the most exhausting two months of your life, how Elide coped you didn't know, Gavriel's kindness in using his magic to brace her ankle was only a small part of it you were sure. How Rowan endured the empty mating bond was again a mystery. The other mystery that haunted you was why you so desperately needed to go with them, why you needed the wolf to be safe. He'd made his choices, he'd sworn himself to Maeve, he'd done this to himself and he'd broken his promises to you and he'd broken you in the process, but still you went.

Sea air caressed your face as you sat on deck watching the sun disappear in the horizon. You sensed him seconds before he sat next to you and drawled, "Mind if I join you?" You met his onyx eyes, "It appears you already have, Lord Fenrys." He snorted at that. "Just Fenrys, I'm no Lord." You smiled at him slightly and looked back out to the water, "How did you come to be such a close companion of the King?" He asked, looking over his shoulder at Dorian.

"Our mothers are friends, we are close in age so growing up, Dorian would be running around causing chaos, Chaol running behind him trying to fix whatever Dorian broke and I'd be behind both of them, just wanting to be involved." Fenrys chuckled, "I can picture that, the three of you being nightmares." You smiled as a memory hit, "Once, when we were 7, a boy from a visiting noble family pushed me over in the courtyard and poured his juice all over me because I wanted to play with them. He told me I was to be a Lady not a Knight and therefore I couldn't play Knights with them, when I refused he pushed me as hard as he could then poured his juice all over my new dress, I still have the scar on my knee. Dorian punched him so hard his nose broke and demanded he apologise and replace my dress. We were both screaming so loud our mothers thought we were being attacked, when they found us Chaol and Dorian were holding me and telling me I could be anything I wanted to be, if I wanted to be a knight, Chaol would train me himself and Dorian would name me the Kings Knight." Fenrys laughed then, a proper laugh, loud enough that Dorian, Aelin and Rowan all peered over at the two of you from the conversation they'd been having. "And are you? The King's Knight?" He asked, you smiled again and shook your head, "No, that job was always Chaol's, I took a more subtle job, as a lady of the court, I always had information and I was always listening." He raised an eyebrow, "So she's a spy." You grinned, "Something like that."

A friendship had formed between the two of you after that, it wasn't exactly a secret that Gavriel and Fenrys were trusted very little by everyone on the ship but you, the two warriors had given you no reason not to trust them so you made them be your friends instead, Gavriel was full of kindness and sorrow, sorrow for the son that couldn't yet look at him let alone speak to him, instead he'd ask you questions about him so you told him what you knew of Aedion Ashryver, the Wolf of the North. Fenrys was full of mischief and witty comments, often using that strange place jumping power of his to scare the life out of you, but you couldn't deny you had started to grow a soft spot for both of them.

"Have you been to war?" You asked them one evening, watching the Wyvern who had landed on deck not long ago in wonder. "Many times." Gavriel confirmed. "Do we stand a chance at this one?" His eyes met yours. "Are you worried that you don't?" He asked gently. "I'm worried that I won't live long enough to find out. I've had some training, but it was mainly self defense, I don't know how to wield a sword or a bow." His eyebrows bunched but it was Fenrys who spoke, "You'll see the new world, Y/N, I'll train you the best I can, so will Gavriel and I won't leave your side when the time comes, nothing will happen to you." You met his eyes, staring at him as if you could see into his soul, "You promise?" Your voice sounding weaker than you intended it to. "I swear it." Deciding not to pull on that thread of a promise you asked, "Do you think he'll let me pet him?" Gavriel snorted a laugh but Fenrys had gone pale, "Do not touch the Wyvern, Y/N!" You grinned at him, "I'm not going to but I am going to ride a Wyvern before this war is over."

You'd known deep in your soul that it was an oath he couldn't keep, the blood oath he'd sworn would pull him away from you sooner or later. He'd tried his best though, to train you, to keep you safe.

The Stone Marshes was a despicable place, one that should've never been entered, yet here you were, panting on your back and gritting your teeth as Aedion prepared gods knew what for everyone to eat on your first night in them. "Again." Fenrys commanded as you pulled yourself from the ground, "If you can disarm me, you can disarm anyone." You gritted your teeth and stood your ground, preparing to strike again when Rowan called him away to start his watch, you'd take him his meal later you decided.

Dorian sidled up beside you, he'd been unusually quiet these past few days. "So…the wolf?" He questioned with a smirk and you felt your cheeks heat, "So…the witch?" You questioned back. His smirk turned feline. "Fair enough." You laughed at him. "There's nothing between us, he's training me, we're going to war, Dorian and Chaol isn't here to teach me." His face fell. "Why did you stay? In the castle with me?" He asked quietly, so you were doing this now then, the conversation that had yet to happen about why you'd stayed while he was enslaved by the collar. "Because Chaol couldn't." Dorian's eyes turned stormy, "Y/N-" You cut him off, "I didn't want you to be alone, Dorian. I didn't know if you were still in there, but if you were, I didn't want you to be alone." He smiled gently and took your hand, his movements tracked, you noticed, by the white haired witch across the fire and the White Wolf on the rocks above.

"I don't deserve the loyalty you and Chaol give me." You squeezed his hand and smiled at him gently, "We don't give it to you blindly, Dorian, we give it to you because we believe in you and the world you'll help create. I give it to you for the little boy who got in heaps of trouble for breaking a bullies nose for me when we were seven, I give it to you for rejecting any and all proposed marriage matches for me, for always making sure I have a choice, in every aspect of my life." He sighed, pulling you into his side, his movements still being tracked, "I feel like I haven't given you one in this. You're being dragged into a war, I should've found you somewhere safe." Pressing closer into his side you said, "I had a choice, I could've gone with Chaol and Nesryn, but they have eachother and you'd have been alone, I chose to stay with you." He kissed the top of your head then, and Manon tensed ever so slightly across the fire and the White Wolf above loped away.

You were sure you did not want to know what Aedion had served you for dinner, you'd agreed with Aelin when she asked to never be told what she was eating. Balancing a bowl of whatever Aedion had cooked up in one hand and a skin of water in the other you trugged up the slope to find Fenrys. Your right foot caught in a root and your left began to slide backwards when you felt a weight behind you, pushing you back upright. You turned and smiled at the wolf. "I bought you dinner, I don't know what it is, I thought best not to ask, but I don't know if you hunt and eat as a wolf but I didn't want you to be hungry if you didn't and I just assumed that you did," You were well aware you were rambling and you cringed at yourself. With a flash the wolf was a man again and he took the bowl from your hands. "Thank you, Y/N." You could feel the heat rising in your cheeks as he studied you, "Show me your footwork and the moves we went through yesterday while I eat?" He asked as he handed you the dagger from its sheath at his hip. So you did.

Halfway through the steps he asked, "So you and Dorian?" You stopped, "What about me and Dorian?" His eyes hardened, "You seemed very close earlier?" Was he jealous? "He asked me why I stayed in the castle after Chaol fled." He nodded once, "Why did you?" He asked, so you told him, "I don't think he remembers, I told him the scars on my face were from the castle shattering, but it was that thing inside him, trying to break him, he shouldn't have to live with that when it wasn't him that did it, not really" Fenrys clenched his jaw, "There's nothing like that between Dorian and I, not now." His eyebrows rose, "Not now?" Your cheeks heated again, "Well, there never really was, just this this one time when we were 16, we decided to have our first time together after too much wine, we thought it was a good idea to get it over and done with, to take the pressure away from it being with someone we were interested in romantically." He nodded again, "I don't regret it." You weren't sure why you felt the need to add that on but you did. "It was awful." You confessed and finally Fenrys laughed, "That's often the way with first times." You smiled at him, "I don't see him like that, nor does he see me like that." He took a breath and made another oath, "No one will touch you again." The conversation was left there, "Show me the steps once more then go and get some rest." That night and every other night spent in the Marshes, you woke to a White Wolf curled around you, one of its Onyx eyes open, always watching. It was never spoken about. Nor was it spoken about how Fenrys had thrown himself off of the rocks he was shooting arrows at the Ilken from when Aelin's power exploded and threw himself over you like a shield.

It hurt to think about what happened on the beach, you'd spotted Lorcan jump in a long boat heading to shore where he'd left Elide, Gavriel and Fenrys long gone, the blood oath calling them to their master you were sure. Elide had become your friend and you were teaching her how to read and write, so you jumped and swam. You couldn't imagine how much it hurt Rowan, to have arrived too late, you knew he'd have let himself be killed to get Aelin to safety. It gutted you to see the warriors powerless and it made you sick to your stomach as you watched Aelin be whipped over and over again, refusing to count.

Fenrys knew he was helpless from the moment he and Gavriel appeared right where Maeve had summoned them, he'd fought it for as long as he could, they both had. Before they'd used his power to jump from the boat he'd looked at her one last time, to find her already watching him, both betrayal and understanding shone in her eyes and he couldn't take it, so, like a coward, he'd grabbed Gavriel and they were gone.

The young Queen, his young Queen wasn't going to last, each whip sounded like the earth was shattering, Gavriel was still trying to right himself from the blood oath being ripped from him, Lorcan was doing the same, Elide was hissing at him like an angry cat, to fight it, to help Aelin, to do something, she pleaded with the witch as well. He wouldn't be so lucky, he knew that. Maeve wouldn't take the oath from him knowing how much he openly despised it. He didn't think he could despise it more until her scent hit him, she was coming and he couldn't stop her, she breezed past him, throwing herself at Maeve, his dagger in hand, the same one he'd handed her this morning, with another promise that he would be close by, the dark queen simply laughed at her and flicked her wrist as darkness slammed into Y/N and sent her flying backwards, he wasn't quick enough to stop the warning growl that left his throat and Maeve's smile turned snakelike.

"Fenrys," She crooned, "Keep your new pet controlled and on the ground." He gritted his teeth, he would not do it, he would not obey. He would not- "Would you rather I ask Cairn to give her the same treatment as my dear niece?" He was moving instantly, he pulled her up as gently as he could. "Please." She begged him quietly, "Don't do this, help her." Silver lined her eyes and Fenrys couldn't look at her. "Such a pretty face." Maeve purred as she dragged the tip of her dagger from Y/N's forehead to her jaw, not hard enough to draw blood but hard enough to be a warning to Fenrys. Instead Maeve struck her with her other hand. He swore he could hear Y/N's teeth rattle as her lip split, she struggled against him, absolute betrayal was all he saw in her face now. "Down, in the sand." Maeve commanded and so he pushed her down so she was lying face down in the sand, she had to hate him, he had to make sure she wouldn't follow, "You promised." She whimpered. Maeve laughed again, Aelin contained in her coffin, she commanded him to leave, his eyes met Gavriel's. Don't let her move, he willed his friend as he stood. Gavriel was there, pulling her up and into his chest as she shouted down the beach after him. "You swore!" Each word like a hot poker to his heart. "You swore you'd be here, that you wouldn't leave!" So Fenrys did the worst thing he could think of, he stopped next to Maeve who was watching him carefully, "I lied, pathetic human. You really thought I'd stay, for you?" He raised an eyebrow at her and saw his words hit their mark, saw her shrink into Gavriel's chest, then, to seal it, to truly break any trust or hope she had in him or for him, he turned to the dark queen and kissed her. "I missed you Majesty."

Fenrys woke with a jolt, Aelin watching him from the stone slab, a dream, it was a dream. She blinked at him. I am here, I am with you. It was either dreams of her, or his brother, which is why he tried his best not to sleep until his body gave out from the exhustion.

You and Gavriel had never spoken of those minutes on the beach where you'd clung to him like he was a teather to the earth, he healed your lip silently as you cried, as Elide pushed away from Lorcan and crawled towards Manon. Aedion pulled you away from his father with a growl, "What happened?" He demanded and through your tears all you could do was shake your head, he asked again and again until Dorian had pushed him away, folding you into his chest. Rowan holding a knife to Lorcan, he was saved by Elide who retold the story.

So a plan was made, Rowan would go with Gavriel, Lorcan and Elide to find her. Dorian was reluctant to let you go with them but he knew you'd go regardless so he agreed and went with the witches. Aedion and Lysandra disguised as Aelin would head back up North.

You were walking arm in arm with Elide when it happened, Gavriel and Lorcan in front of you stopped dead, Rowan taking up the rear was frozen on the hill. "What's happening?" Elide asked Gavriel as he and Lorcan rushed towards Rowan. The two of you caught the tail end of the conversation. "It came from the North, from Doranelle." Rowan looked lighter than he had in weeks, "She's alive." He breathed.

#fenrys x reader #fenrys moonbeam #throne of glass #crown of midnight #heir of fire #assassin's blade #queen of shadows #tower of dawn #kingdom of ash #dorian havilliard

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kimchiagustd · 20 days

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one week post KOA reading and not surprisingly, i am still mourning... spoilers ahead but i need to let go of all these feelings.

i miss this new family i discovered, the excitement of the next chapter or the next book, the anguish, the tears, the cliffhangers, the surprises, the couples and friendships dynamics. i miss everything about tog!

my brain is still processing aaaallllll the events of 7000 pages and a lot of things are settling when i could not process everything while still reading the books…

but to me, this saga is a masterpiece for so many reasons. as a woman, there are so many things validating in these books, i don’t even know where to begin with.

the sorority in tog is still mind blowing to me, probably my favorite part of the whole saga, that we clearly don’t talk about enough. the ending with aelin walking to meet her people with her girlfriends, marching with them as equals still gives me goosebumps. aelin and lysandra friendship (bestfriends and soulmates), aelin and ansel friendship (free young spirits), aelin and manon friendship (rivals then equal queens), aelin and yrene friendship (sisters), aelin and nesryn friendship (admiration and role models), aelin and elide friendship (bonded by fate and a love for the same kingdom) are so precious to me... i could write entire essays about them. i adore how all the female characters just fell in love with aelin, saw her vision of a better world and just followed her to the end. and then, the thirteen, do i even need te explain myself? i think a part of me will forever mourn them. the heartbreak i felt after their death is unspeakable. i never read a book with such flawed and beautiful characters. asterin (her hunter and her whichling), sorrel, vesta, imogen, ghislaine, faline, fallon, edda, briar, thea, kaya and linnea have my whole heart.

marion and josefin are branded in my very soul. their characters had so few pages but gods, how their sacrifice still resonate in me...

then the different journeys of all the characters… chaol has a special place in my heart, despite everything, despite all these things being said about him. he had so many flaws, did so many mistakes, but what a journey, what a fight against depression and disability, what an end… he was so lost and tormented throughout thousands of pages, even while being passionately in love with celeana (not aelin!), and is so appeased at the end, married and soon to be a dad… i rarely felt so proud of someone, fictional character or not. i am convinced chaol is one of the best written characters of the saga.

i read a lot of mean things about aedion too and that just broke my heart because the man redefined loyalty all by himself. he lost everything he was taught to believe in, whored himself with the enemy for his people while believing he lost his entire family and kingdom, lost every men and women in koa as a general (his very essence as a person!) and still held the line for hundreds of pages like rowan told him to do so. I. JUST. DON'T. GET. WHY. he is so hated for some fights with lysandra (that i don't excused!) in a horrific context, in the middle a many battles and thousands of casualties. just reread aedion's arc during koa : the only thing he experienced for hundreds of pages is failure, death, grief, terror and guilt, believing he failed terrasen again. LEAVE. MY. MAN. ALONE. plus, aedion is a bisexual icon, and he slayed the whole books, period.

same thing with lorcan. oh my lorcan… i won’t even begin with him but gods, what awful things i read about him… i don't know why but i fell really hard for this character, despite knowing very few things about him. he was far from being perfect, we agree on that. but what a redemption arc. him being finally at peace at the end, after 500 years of wars, (self-)hatred and being used and fooled by a valg bitch queen, made me tear up as mush as sam's death (shocking, i know but i don't make the rules).

i think, surprisingly regarding our society, people were harsher with the male characters than the female ones. aelin, manon, lysandr and elide lied and did mistakes too, yet somehow, people forgave them immediately. i think we should reflect on that.

a few words about baby dorian too... i think his end was my biggest and bitter disappointment at the end of the whole saga. i can't even tell how his ending wreaked me. he is the one character not at peace at the end of this whole journey. his city is utterly ruined, he is alone in his big castle (the very place where he lost the first woman he sincerely loved and the very place where he was enslaved) with the thought he killed the man he hated his whole life but somehow wasn't the bad guy, his friends are all married or happily in love, even manon won back the witches and her lost kingdom... but dorian is lonelier than ever and that does not sit right with me. he was such a hopeful and loving young man at the beginning of the saga but is broken at the end... i NEED a sequel, he deserves one, more than anyone.

and rowan, oh rowan... i think "love" is not strong enough to define aelin and rowan relationship. the way they overcame depression together long before falling in love with each other is one of the most beautiful thing of this saga. they just saw each other. i love how rowan accepted aelin 1000000%, flaws, scars, fire and all. i love how he never overstepped. like many people, i read acotar before tog and thought no one could surpassed rhysand but how wrong i was... to me, rowan is the best for so many reasons. he never took decisions for aelin, always respected her every moves, respected her pace, never lied to her. i am emotional writing this because him saying "aelin is my heart... my fireheart"... *sob* aelin loves rowan with every bones and cells in her body but rowan's love for aelin? i don't know, there's something about it, i can't find the right words... i don't think i'll ever find an other rowan in an other book. rowan was intensity, hatred, heartbreak, depression, longing, guilt, pain, redemption, learning, harshness, softness, falling in love, crossing an ocean for the woman he loved, giving her an armada when he had nothing, tattooing wyrdkeys in her back to bring her back to him, waiting, loving, loving, loving again and again and again. rowan is suddenly the sweetest and most beautiful name i've ever heard. rowan is love and so much more. rowan is aelin's heart and soul and the key to this new world because aelin without rowan is fear and too far gone. rowan is everything. and what i am about to write seems crazy but i think because there's so much things happening in tog, so much characters loving each other, so many couples we rooted for, we took for granted rowan's love and actions and he somehow became a secondary character - crazy, right? i think we loved passionately his character (especially in hof and qos) but somehow forgot on the way how utterly incredible and unique he is. him saying in qos aelin must build a theater in terrasen after the war and then him offering it to her as a mate / wedding gift at the end of koa? i mean, our boy is a man of his word and i love him so much for it. WE TOOK ROWAN FOR GRANTED AND DID NOT GIVE HIM ENOUGH CREDIT.

anyway, i could write so many more things about so many characters and scenes that broke me in these books (my same is sam cortland and i am not afraid) but you got the idea.

tog is the best saga i've ever read and i am not the same person anymore after reading it. i'll take time to heal. but how grateful i am i have a good run with all these characters...

#throne of glass #kingdom of ash #aelin galathynius #sarah j maas #dorian havilliard #manon blackbeak #the thirteen #elide lochan #chaol westfall #aedion ashryver #lysandra ashryver #lorcan salvaterre #rowan whitethorn #sam cortland #nesryn faliq #yrene towers

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fandom-pantheon · 22 days

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Oh, this will be a rant. Bear with me, or ignore me. You can either argue or agree… However, if you want to read, it will be a freaking essay. Just a warning.

1. MATES! Or better yet, the whole thing about mates being rare and the SJM being like: “You get a mate, and you get a mate, and you get aaaaaaa MATE, etc”, makes perfect sense. Like in ACOTAR you have a world divided in half. Literally half the population is separated by a freaking wall. If Feyre didn’t cross the wall, and eventually became Fae, Rhysand would never found his mate. Nor would Cassian or Lucien. Rhysand father was over 900, when he found his mother. Do you have any idea how many times he could have died??? In ToG, you don’t have winnowing, or teleportation. Traveling the world for weeks on end? Months? Years? Which human will do that? How many of them? And if Aelin and Rowan didn’t find each other, neither would Lorcan and Elide. For example. And in CC? Their powers were corrupted, and with that their senses as well. So yeah. MATES ARE RARE!!!!

2. The whole critique of HOFAS. I get it if you don’t like it. That’s perfectly fine. However, there is no reason attacking some of the well established characters like Nesta and Azriel. First thing first. Nesta, and the whole story how SJM just ruined the ending of ACOSF, cause Nesta was all healed and whatnot. Depression is a serious illness, that is far from easy to beat. And even if you “beat it”, it does not end overnight. Yes, she had an amazing story of overcoming all that was there, but still, it did not disappear. And it probably never will. There can be days, weeks and months that it can take hold of you. That is perfectly normal, and fine, and Nesta falling again, does not mean she is back there. She has her family, her friends and her mate to help pick her up, and having a bad day or two, or a week is NORMAL. Even for people who do not suffer from depression, let alone the one who does. So don’t attack with the whole “ruined the journey of Nesta”, cause it ain’t true. We do not know what is happening in Pyrithian yeat, so chill.

3. I’ll make it a new point. AZRIEL!!! My baby. If SJM stays true to her words, my little kinky baby! 😜 Why the freaking f*ck, is it weird to have Az there instead of Cass? Like yeah, Nesta and Cass are mates, but that does not mean they are joined by umbilical cord for f*ck sake! Az is a spymaster, and it makes perfect sense for him to be trailing them. Being found out however, by accident or on purpose is questionable, but it makes so much more sense for him to be there and get as much info about this new person from different world. If there was a battle, full on war, yeah, I would expect Cass, freaking GENERAL of Night Court ARMIES, there, but for this mission?? People, have you heard of common sense?? Just cause you want to see more of Cass and Nesta, does not make it a good idea for running a court as High Lord. Deal!

4. Az and Nesta friendship? Amazing. The way he calmed her down, with mentions of Cass and Nyx. Amazing! And it is established in ACOSF that there was friendship between the two, so why the fuck are ppl freaking out? Is it because of the fantasy of threesome?? Excuse you!!! Get your mind out of the fucking gutter prudes! Just because Cass was the main love interest and turned out to be her mate, does not mean she cannot enjoy her own imagination. For fuck sake, woman keeps reading smutty books, of course she has a dirty mind. And at least 1/4 of those books have 3somes in it, if not the whole reverse harem!!!! What women (in her sexual prime, like she’s 25 or something) would not enjoy 2 hunks worshipping her??? If you wouldn’t, well… keep lying to yourself. The rest of us know the truth.

5. AZ DESERVES A MATE! Now repeat after me! AZ DESERVES A MATE! No, not Elain. Gods not that bitch. And she will turn out to be a bitch I’m 99.99% sure of it. As Rhysand mentioned, even roses have thorns. And we still have to see what she has to show. I’m sure it’s foreshadowing. Nobody is that nice. Or better said, nobody is that nice for a long time. I’m not even sold on the idea of Lucien and Elain, let alone Az and her. Be it Gwyn, Eris, Helion or Mother herself, Az deserves a mate! A mate who will love him! All of him, good and bad, and icy. And no, not the one that will “melt his ice” but the one who will embrace it. Cause it won’t be Az anymore. I didn’t see Nesta taming Cassians wild side, but going along with it, enjoying it. So why would Az mate “melt his ice”??? The mate his shadows will feel comfortable with. Where he can go through his day and find shadows missing, finding them with him/her/them. Doesn’t matter. He needs his own journey, full of trials and errors, and full on f*ck ups, for his happy ending. I believe it will be Gwyn. But it can be anyone but Elain. She will never love him fully. She will always, even when she refuses Lucien, feel the mating bond, and I cannot explain how badly I don’t want that to happen to Az. Cause HE will wake up every morning thinking: “ Is this the day she leaves me for her mate?”. And seeing his brothers happiness with their mates, he will ask this. And he deserves so much better!

6. RHYSAND! Just that! FREAKING RHYSAND! Why the f*ck are ppl freaking out about his behavior in ACOSF and HOFAS??? Let’s start from the beginning. RHYSAND is a well established character. And he is the same from start to now. He is a manipulative, scheming bastard, secretly trying to do good things, by whichever means necessary! Good or bad. For f*ck sake, he was Amarathas 2nd in command and her whore for 50 years… Like, yeah, he is good, and he is a feminist, and he is all of this and that, but he is still just… him! That won’t change, and I don’t want it to change, cause I really like his character as it is. (You have every right to hate him, but not on the account of him “changing”) Him threatening Nesta when she revealed the risk of pregnancy! YES, YES, and YES! He had every right to do so, and him telling Cass to get her out of there, was more than I would have done. (And no, I am not talking about the moral dilemma of him not telling Feyre in the first place, cause that was bad, however, what would you do? We can discuss morality all day long, and everybody would take the high road until it’s time, sooooo… Don’t!) Oh, and him reprimanding Nesta in the extra in HOFAS. Again spot on. Because, if Az or Cass have done something sooooooo stupid, he would have beaten them in the training ring to the inch of their life. Mor would probably take the full burn of his power. And Amren… Well let’s not go there. Most of the ppl started talking shit about Rhys and his behavior in HOFAS, however I was pissed, and I’m still pissed at Feyre.

7. Feyre!!! Oh my Gods!!! I’m starting to hate her. I liked her so much. Strong FMC, overcoming her obstacles, trying to do good for her family and friends and mate. But HOFAS! So mad!!!!! YOU ARE A F*CKING HIGH LADY! Your damn sister just gave one of the deadliest weapons to basically complete stranger, who btw, came to your house and wrecked PRISON of all places… In Midgard Avallen island changed completely. What the f*ck happened to the prison when she took part of the star??? She f*cking freed the Asteri/Dalgan in you house, and you sister was like: “Yeah, sure, take the mask, please don’t die or fall prey to the Asteri”. And you give shit to your MATE and a f*cking HIGH LORD of the court for reprimanding you damn sister??? Like f*ck off bi*ch. I’m all for feminism and females supporting each other, but this is politics! This is a leader talking to his subject, not a f*cking family show on air. Honestly, it’s starting to look like Feyre is abusing Rhys, and using his feelings for her and their mate bond to do things the way she wants them to be done. And I hate that it looks that way.

8. This is the last one for now. Az and Rhys interaction in extra in ACOSF. AGAIN, ppl say it with me… RHYSAND IS A HIGH LORD OF THE NIGHT COURT!!! So yes, they are friends and all of that, but at the end of the day, Rhys is the leader, and he knows his shit. And he has every right to say that shit to Az. However, I do think it is misleading. We will see if I’m right, but. If Gwyn is Az mate, I believe she knows. And I believe Rhys knows as well. I really think they are friends. (Especially over the things that happened to them, and knowing who their mates are, but not telling them, since they weren’t/aren’t ready. The whole scene of Rhysand telling Nesta to be respectful to Gwyn kinda gives me that vibe). So him telling Az “he will make him regret it”, kinda comes from that. However, I get a feeling (again might be wrong, time and SJM will tell), that making Az regret his action will involve his mother. We had mentions of her, sooooo. (I have this reoccurring thought, about a random attack, that Az takes care of, on one of his spying missions, and the enemy mentions that they will take his mate or something like that. Az coming back to Velaris, and freaking out about Elain being in danger, and everybody freaking out as well. Until Rhys asks to look at what happened, and realizes that the enemy was not saying Elain, but his mate, and runs of in search of Gwyn, who’s been attacked or kidnapped… Yeah, just there sitting in my head. Does not want to leave.)

Anyway, that’s it for now. There are much more points I would like to make, but I’ll leave it for some other time.

It took way longer than anticipated to write this. And I’m sorry for any grammatical error or misspelling. English is my second language.

If you stuck till the end, thank you, and let me know what your thoughts are??? I would appreciate discussion over open war, but go ahead and do what you like….

Love,

Lady Tina

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manonblaqkbeak · 4 months

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Time With You

Hello everybody, happy 2024!!! I'm on annual leave (that i took to read hofas lmao) and decided to use this time to right this fic that has been in the back of my head for monthsssss but i hate using my laptop so never got around to writing it until now.

it does start out with Aedion's POV, something i dont think ive ever done, but it ends with Aelin's as this is a rowaelin story lol

as always, hope you enjoy!!

cw: brief mentions of death/grief, arobynn hamel being a POS. but otherwise its purely fluff bc i love human au rowaelin fluff

word count: 1500+

Aedion couldn't stop staring at his cousin—which sounded strange, but he had a very good reason for why his eyes were glued to his cousin; Rowan Whitethorn's hand was on her bare thigh.

And why was it on her bare thigh? He had no idea.

Aedion was aware that they were talking more, had become friends instead of constantly bickering, but he wasn't at all aware that their friendship had moved to the point where Rowan was resting his hand on Aelin's thigh.

And Aelin seemed to like the fact that it was there. He knew his cousin as if she was his sister—if she didn't want that touch, then she would remove it and bite Rowan's head off. It wasn't like she was a stranger doing that. One of their first conversations when Aelin had started at Orynth University had been a verbal spat; Rowan bumped into her and when Aelin asked for an apology, Rowan claimed that she had been in the way and that she should apologise to him.

And so that one conversation started years worth of petty arguments and forced proximity due to Aedion's friendship with the silver-haired man.

“Stop staring,” Lysandra hissed under her breath.

Aedion turned to his fiancee, and frowned. “How long has that been going on for?” He hoped that his cousin and Rowan couldn't hear him. All of their friends were at their local pub, the best way to catch up these days, the air outside in the courtyard refreshing after being inside a stuffy office. And when everyone got there, they had found that Rowan and Aelin were already there, occupying a tall table with stools—with only enough room for the both of them. And when everyone else went to the long benches that they always sat at, Aelin and Rowan stayed at their own table, talking amongst themselves.

“They've been talking for a while,” Lysandra said, her emerald green eyes sparkling from the warm fairy-lights strung up around the place.

Aedion's frown deepened. “What does that mean?”

Just then, Rowan stood up, the menu from the restaurant behind them in his hand, his wallet in his other and he leaned over and kissed Aelin on her cheek.

Aelin's smile was brighter than the sun.

“Since when does Rowan kiss Aelin?” Aedion asked his eyes about to drop out from their sockets and his confusion growing even more. He and Aelin were as close as siblings, but he could admit to himself that he did feel a little hurt that Aelin hadn't told him of this development.

With Rowan out of sight, Lysandra and Elide shot up out of their seats and made their way towards Aelin. Aedion followed after them, even though Elide said, “Women only, cousin.” Aedion didn't listen and stood next to Lysandra, patiently waiting for his cousin to speak.

XXXXX

It was a little embarrassing to admit it, even to herself, but with the moment Rowan put his hand on her bare thigh, all thoughts but one disappeared.

Aelin liked Rowan, a lot.

And when Rowan got up to order their dinner—and was insisting on paying for her—Aelin forgot that all their friends were only a few feet away, that there were strangers surrounding them, that live music was being played, but when he got up and left, and her friends and cousin were in front of her, asking question after question, Aelin had to mentally slap herself out of the stupor she found herself in and asked Aedion to repeat his question, but only because he was the one who spoke last.

“Are you and Rowan dating?”

“No, not yet.” And Gods, maybe it sounded pathetic, which she hated sounding, but she hoped that they would soon move on from this weird-limbo thing that found themselves in and would start seeing each other properly.

“When did you start liking him like that?”

Aelin shrugged, if only because it was too long of a story to get into right now. “I'll message you about it later.”

Aedion raised his eyebrow. “You promise?”

Aelin huffed a laughed when he extended his pinkie finger, his fathers ring gleaming in the fairy-lights. “I promise,” she said, wrapping her pinkie around his. “Now go, all of you, Rowan's coming back.” They all rolled their eyes at her, but did what she said and soon, Aelin found herself face-to-face with Rowan again.

XXXXX

Aelin was glad she left her car at her apartment, finding that the evening was nice and breezy without being too cold, because it meant that Rowan walked her home and held her hand the entire time. Her smile was so wide she knew that she would still feel it hours later.

Gods, she couldn't remember the last time she had been so...giddy about someone. Maybe in the beginning stages with Chaol, before their relationship fizzled out and they both realised that they were better off as friends (and they very much were; sometimes it was like they never dated for two years and lived together for one).

But this beginning with Rowan, it felt different. She didn't want to think too much of it, but Aelin...she thought to herself that it would be very easy to fall in love with him. How funny life was to go from heavily disliking him, to holding his hand weeks after she found in the park near the beach, his eyes teary as he sat in silence, his grief consuming him over the death of his late girlfriend, Lyria.

Aelin found herself at that same park due to her own grief over the deaths of her parents. They had been gone for years and years, but the time living under the harsh and cruel roof of her foster parent, Arobynn Hamel, still lingered, may always linger, as her therapist told her, but it was up to Aelin to decide what to do with those emotional and mental scars.

And they found themselves talking about their grief, their lives and wishes for their futures. He walked her home after that as well, and their friendship had changed after that, for which she was very grateful for—that there was someone else like her that dealt with dark thoughts and feelings, but was fighting each day to overcome them.

Shaking off the thought, Aelin blinked and realised that she and Rowan were just a couple of moments away from the front doors of her apartment building.

Rowan dropped her off at her front door, the scent of her favourite diffuser—camellia and lotus flower—greeting her as she opened her front door. Rowan cleared his throat and Aelin turned to him.

“It's your weekend off, isn't it?” he asked, his Doranelle accent still quite thick even after living in Terrasen for years now.

“Yes.” She was assistant manager of Havilliard Books. She and Dorian, one of her oldest friends and store manager, long ago worked out a schedule that worked amazingly for them both. And not only was she assistant manager, but she handled their stores personal Instagram page, and because Dorian's father owned the multiple stores throughout the continent, Dorian made sure that she received extra payment for keeping their page up to date and inviting.

“Did you have any plans this weekend?”

“No, I'm free all day.” She usually reserved Sunday for an apartment clean, but fuck that. She could clean later.

Rowan smile, his facial tattoo crinkling slightly. It was a work of art, that tattoo, the Old Language of Doranelle was stark against his golden-tanned skin.

“How about I finally take you out on a proper date? Starting from the moment I arrive here tomorrow morning and it ending whenever you want?”

Aelin's smile grew impossibly more. “I would very much like that.”

Rowan's smile grew too. “Good, then I'll see you tomorrow, Aelin. I am very much looking forward to it.”

Aelin reached up and kissed his cheek like he had kissed hers earlier. “I'll see you tomorrow. Thank you for walking me home. Goodnight, Rowan.”

“Goodnight, Aelin, I'll see you tomorrow, how does nine sound?”

“That sounds good.” And as an early riser—even on her days off—it would give her plenty of time to get ready.

“Okay, I'll see you then.” He kissed the top of her hand, reminding her of her favourite romance stories and waited until she was inside and locked the door behind her to leave.

A whoosh of air left Aelin and she found herself humming to her favourite classical pieces. She did end up cleaning her apartment, finding that she had too much energy to have a shower and go to bed, and as she cleaned, she called Aedion, telling her cousin of her budding relationship with Rowan. Her cousin was ecstatic for her, even as he promised to kick his arse if Rowan hurt her—although Aelin told her meddlesome cousin that she could very much do that herself, as she took self-defense classes at her gym and had the toned and muscled body to prove it.

Afterwards, as she lay in bed, she and Rowan texted each other until Aelin's eyes started drooping, her last message only half-written, but she fell asleep with a smile on her face, ready for tomorrow.

#rowaelin #my work #rowaelin fanfiction #rowaelin fanfic #throne of glass fanfiction

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nikethestatue · 3 months

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Nesta is not going to be a 'wingwoman' for Gwynriel. I wish Gwynriels understood that. The relationship between Nesta and Azriel is about...Nesta and Azriel. It's not about Gwyn. Or Elain, for that matter. Although Nesta acknowledged and recognised Azriel's torment over her sister, and never say even a glimmer of interest from Gwyn (and no, 'you are the new ribbon' is not a comment about their romance, but about beating the BR obstacle course), that's just not how SJM structures her couples.

Aelin wasn't setting up Lorcan and Elide. Bryce wasn't setting up Ruhn and Lidia. Cassian wasn't setting up Feyre and Rhys. Rhys wasn't setting up Amren and Varian.

SJM is an 'observational' writers, where others observe something happening, but don't act on it. Nesta wasn't going to go to Elain and ask her 'hey, do you like Azriel?" But we, as readers, were going to see 'something charged' passing between Elriel through Nesta's eyes.

So Nesta won't bring Gwyn closer to Azriel. The relationship is strictly between Nesta and Azriel and its flow and its nuances. Nesta won't being Emerie closer to Mor. And she won't bring Elain to Azriel.

House of Wind Gang is not going to happen.

SJM wants to show the intricacies of the Nesta/Azriel friendship. Not have Nesta play matchmaker.

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sassyhobbits · 1 year

Text

Misery Business, 12

masterlist

~~~

During the next month, they fell into a strangely comfortable lull.

Their mission had to go mostly on pause while Elide worked to decrypt all of the most sensitive information on those drives. In the meantime, they did have work to do. Their normal duties kept them occupied. But, with Rowan now working with her, he was able to feed Aelin little bits and pieces about Maeve that she was then able to pass on to Arobynn, to make him believe his plan was working and she was using Rowan to slowly dismantle Maeve. On the other hand, she made sure to work more with Maeve, to do the tasks she asked without complaint, to make her think Rowan was charming her over to their side.

The hardest part of it all was controlling her rage as Aelin looked the two people who had ruined her life in the eyes and pretend she didn’t want to violently dismantle them and feed their body parts to feral animals. The only reason she didn’t snap was because she knew they would get what was coming to them.

She and Rowan had made their own sort of ‘domestic bliss’, if one could call it that. They had begun sleeping in Rowan’s bed every night and the spare bedroom became the glorified closet Aelin had joked it would be the first night she arrived. They spent plenty of time learning one another's bodies, of finding ways to make the other moan and come apart beneath their hands. At this point, Aelin was sure they had fucked on nearly every surface in the apartment: the kitchen island one night after Rowan had cooked them a rather spectacular meal, the dining table when Aelin had gotten down on her knees and sucked him off one morning before he left, the couch when they were watching t.v and couldn’t make it to the bedroom before sliding off their underclothes and coming together. It was a frenzy Aelin never wanted to end.

A delivery arrived for her one day consisting of a box of fancy chocolates and an expensive bottle of wine. A small notecard accompanied it and, written in the center with chicken-scratch handwriting read, Sorry. -L

Aelin frowned at the note, her husband doing the same from where he peered over her shoulder.

“Is Lorcan trying to poison me?” Aelin asked.

“Poison isn’t usually his style,” Rowan said, rubbing his chin and frowning deeper. “But neither is apologizing.”

Aelin didn’t toss them out, nor did she eat them right away. Though, eventually, after she arrived home from a rather long mission, she caved and popped one in her mouth. She didn’t die, so she decided to open the wine and share it with Rowan, which then led to a wine-fueled tumble in the sheets.

There was likely only one person that would be able to convince Lorcan Salvaterre to write an apology letter and send a gift that wasn’t meant to kill her.

Aelin had taken Elide’s offer and came over to her apartment one night. It was a strange thing, to be there for pleasure instead of business. She was certain she sat stiffly for most of the evening, preparing herself for the worst. But the worst never came. So, later that week in the spirit of continuing friendships, she invited both Elide and Lysandra over one night. They ordered take-out and drank wine and laughed. Both Aelin and Elide knew better than to broach the topic of Lorcan while the subject was so hot, but that was half a thought in the back of their minds all evening.

Aelin had a good time. And it was good practice for when they finally killed Arobynn and she could try to be a regular woman with regular friends.

She had grown rather accustomed to sleeping in the same bed as Rowan. But tonight she had a job, and wouldn’t likely return until the early hours of the next morning. A frown formed at the thought, realizing how much she now treasured waking up to his handsome face in the morning, resting her head on his chest to catch a few more minutes of sleep or kissing his neck while they enjoyed a quick morning fuck.

Aelin had a long, leather trench coat on, forgoing her normal uniform of tactical clothes and gun holsters. She would have to go undercover tonight. No use in bringing them along.

She glanced down at the emerald on her finger, slipping it off with a sigh and tossing it in a jewelry dish she had put on Rowan’s dresser. She wouldn’t be able to wear it tonight, and didn’t trust others to not steal it away while she worked.

“Should I be offended?” Rowan asked, strolling out of the bathroom. His hair was still damp from his shower, a pair of gray sweats slung low around his hips. He stopped before her, putting his hands on her waist. “Are you going to pretend you’re not married to pick up other men?”

Aelin laughed, wrapping her arms around the back of his neck and kissing him. “That’s actually more accurate than you think.”

He stiffened.

“Does it make you feel any better if I’m picking them up to kill them?” Aelin fluttered her lashes innocently. “I have to go undercover at Clarisse’s tonight.”

“Arobynn’s strip club?”

“Unfortunately.”

Rowan’s lip curled in distaste. “Is there no other way to do the hit?”

“This guy knows he has enemies and never goes anywhere without like six bodyguards following him… except for his fancy hotel room with a pretty woman who he just happens to pick up tonight.”

“I don’t like it.”

“It’s not your job to like it,” Aelin said, brushing silver hair from his forehead. “But it is my job to kill him. Simple as that.”

He released a long breath before brushing his lips against hers. “Just… be safe.”

“Aw. You’re cute when you worry.”

“And you’re a pain in my ass.”

Aelin smiled broadly. “As if you’d have me any other way.”

Rowan responded by kissing her once more.

…

Aelin didn’t like Clarisse’s.

The club was situated in a busy, expensive part of the city and generally attracted two types of customers: rich men who could afford it, and sleaze-bags wasting a month or two worth of wages to enjoy the finest women the city had to offer.

It was technically a strip-club, but everyone knew it was more of a high-end brothel. The narcs just never had enough evidence to properly shut it down.

Arobynn had been a frequent enjoyer of the atmosphere and the women, that much Aelin knew. In fact, it was the reason she had met Lysandra. Arobynn favored her, often spent obscene amounts of money to take her back to his estate for the night. One morning, Aelin had found a stunning woman she didn’t recognize lingering outside. It was just the beginning of winter, and it had been obvious she wasn’t dressed for the occasion, shivering in her trench coat with her still-bare legs pointing out.

“Why are you sitting out here?” Aelin had asked.

There was a frown on Lysandra full lips- still stained red from the previous night’s makeup, bags under her eyes. “I don’t like it in there. Too many men that are too comfortable staring. My car should be here soon… I think.”

Aelin had known what Lysandra had been there for and who had paid for her. She didn’t think she was often extended kindness, so Aelin half-expected the stranger to refuse when she offered for her to come wait upstairs in her room with her until the car arrived. But she agreed. And it was the start of what Aelin had too-long referred to as a partnership when she had really just been too much of a coward to say what it really was- a friendship. One she was profoundly grateful for.

But, as they were both aware, this wasn’t a normal sort of friendship. Which was why Lysandra was helping her pass as a stripper as a means of later killing someone. Most girl friends spent their evenings watching sappy romances. Maybe one day they would be there too.

“Look up,” Lysandra instructed, eyeliner pencil held in her talented fingers.

They were seated in a back dressing room where the girls were to get ready before they were on. Lysandra, being one of their top earners, got the luxury of a private room. She hadn’t bothered to do much in decorating, and it was instead filled with the necessities of her trade: towering heels, fancy make-up, and lots of little lacy things.

Aelin complied, allowing her friend to apply a dark, smudgy kohl around her eyes.

The tip of Lysandra tongue poked out between her red-stained lips as she worked. There weren’t a lot of people Aelin would feel comfortable allowing so close to her eyes, but Lysandra was one of them.

“This makes your eyes look amazing.”

“I doubt my mark is going to be looking at my eyes. What matters is my tits. How do they look?”

Lysandra’s gaze dropped to her chest. Aelin had to look the part, so she wore a black, lacy set. The bra was highly uncomfortable, but it pushed her boobs up to what felt like her chin.

“They look unfairly good. Why does an assassin need such a nice rack?”

Aelin shrugged. “The gods work in mysterious ways.”

Lysandra laughed and tossed the eyeliner into a bag she had resting on the counter. The movement caused the sleeve of her robe to ride up her arm, displaying the bands of bruises encircling her wrist.

Aelin’s blood turned to ice, her hand shooting out, catching Lysandra’s and pulling the sleeve down fully. There was no mistaking that it had been large hands that had caused the bruising on her wrists, and the others on her upper arm. It had taken her too long to notice with Lysandra doing her make-up.

But, judging by the look on Lysandra’s face, she hadn’t meant for Aelin to see them anyway.

“What happened?” Aelin demanded.

“It’s nothing serious.” Lysandra pulled her arm to her chest, sliding the sleeve of her robe back into place. “Arobynn’s just been a bit rough the last few nights, is all.”

“Last few nights? How often has he been requesting you?”

Lysandra’s lips were pressed into a tight line. “It’s been more often since you moved in with Rowan. I just don’t think he quite knows what to do with himself now that you’re not there to push around.”

Shame and guilt flooded Aelin, hot and acidic. “I’m so sorry, Lysandra.”

“Don’t apologize. I’ve seen the marks he leaves on you when he’s pissed. You’ve had it worse.”

“What he does to us is different,” Aelin whispered. “But both equally reprehensible.”

Lysandra gave a bitter laugh and dipped her chin. “You’re right.”

In that moment, all Aelin wanted to do was to assure her friend that Arobynn’s days were numbered, that soon she would free them both from him and that Aelin would then turn her attentions to Clarisse, to get Lysandra out of this life. But, she said nothing. Not that Aelin didn’t trust Lysandra. She knew her friend would never speak of it on her own free will but… Lysandra wasn’t trained to hold out against torture if it came to that. And Aelin didn’t trust this establishment either. It could be bugged, or there could be a eavesdropper waiting to pass on juicy information to whoever would pay the most.

Aelin simply grabbed Lysandra’s hand and gave it a firm, comforting squeeze.

Lysandra squeezed back before loosing a breath and grabbing a wig from the mannequin head upon which it rested.

“Let’s get you finished up. The sooner you get out there, the sooner you can put that creep down.”

Aelin grinned and ducked her head, allowing her friend to place the wig over her tightly-braided hair. “I’ve always wondered what I would look like with dark hair.”

“Still hot. But blonde suits you better.”

“So I suspected.”

…

It was late and Rowan couldn’t find sleep.

The apartment seemed deadly quiet without Aelin. A quiet so smothering it seemed to ring in his ears. He couldn’t remember how he had survived like this for so long before his wife had moved in. And now, the sound of her voice, her laughter, her trashy television, had become so ingrained into his home it was hard to be without it.

He sat in the living room, a glass of whisky that he was working through slowly to his side, a book in his hand. He knew Aelin had said she wouldn’t be home until nearly morning and that he shouldn’t wait up for her but… it felt strange to sleep in the bed without her now.

Rowan was struggling to focus on the scene before him when his phone buzzed on the coffee table. Welcoming the interruption of an unsuccessful night of reading, he grabbed the device, interest instantly piqued when he recognized the name that came with the message.

It was an informant he had inside the Terrasen Bureau of Investigation. It was impossible to get someone deep on the inside, to get all the details Rowan would’ve preferred, but this man listened well and provided what information he could which, when helpful, led to a fat check sent his way.

Keep your people away from downtown tonight, the message read. It’s gonna be flooded with cops and agents. They’re setting up a sting.

Rowan felt his stomach sink. Where?

The few moments it took for the informant to type were the longest of Rowan’s life. Clarisse’s. Someone let it slip that some of Hamel’s top people would be there tonight.

There was a dull droning ringing through Rowan’s ear. Aelin. Aelin was there, was likely the one the narcs were going to try and capture. And if they did that, with Aedion Ashryver as the head of the bureau… no. No, he couldn’t let that happen.

He sprung into action, sweeping into his room and clipping on his harness as well as two pistols, concealed a few knives on his being, and covered it all with a coat. He had to get downtown as fast as he could, get Aelin out before the bureau got there.

He could only hope he could do it in time.

…

Rowan had never been inside of Clarisse’s. He knew where it was located, had seen it from the outside more times than he could count. It was located in the busiest part of downtown and people tended to flow in and out of its doors all night.

He had always stayed clear of it. Up until recently, any establishment owned or funded by Hamel was somewhere he was not welcome.

It was a large, rather unassuming building with a bright red neon sign hanging over it flashing its name. There was a line of men waiting at the door, likely no one he would ever bother with. The people who mattered, who worked with Arobynn or had the money to spend on the girls, got in without question.

He strode past the line right up to the front. He could hear the music pounding from inside the building, a few men drunkenly stumbling out with wide grins on their faces. All signs that Rowan had beaten the feds here.

For the briefest of moments, the bouncer stationed at the entrance looked as though he was going to try and stop Rowan from entering. It was a possibility he had prepared for, and he had already planned to fight his way through if needed. But, the guard seemed to recognize him, had been trained enough to know who Rowan was to Arobynn, that he had wedded his heir for an alliance.

Wordlessly, the bouncer motioned for Rowan to enter. And that was that.

With his hands shoved into the pockets of his coat and his head ducked low, Rowan took his first steps into Clarisse’s. Immediately, his senses were assaulted. The drowning sound of the music’s pounding bass, the scent of cigars and alcohol, the dim lighting slashed through by the occasional beam of color light. Scantily-clad waitresses slipped through the crowd, bearing trays of expensive drinks and steaming piles of meat. Men laughed bawdily, ogling the women who served them and the others dancing for their entertainment.

For a moment, Rowan wasn’t sure where to begin looking for his wife within the madness around him. But then, he simply looked forward.

On center stage, there were two women. It was easy for him to recognize Aelin’s friend, Lysandra. She was beautiful, her luscious dark hair loose and gleaming in the colored lights, her curves highlighted by the deep green, lacy ensemble she wore. She clearly knew her craft, knew how to move to get men foaming at the mouth and vying for her attention. Most of the crowd was looking to her as she swayed.

But there was another figure on that stage. One that Rowan nearly didn’t recognize at first.

Her long, lithe, strong body was on display in a matching lacy, black set that left nearly nothing to the imagination. The bra pushed her breasts up sky high, the delicate fabric clinging to the curves of her hips, and her long legs seeming impossibly longer with the towering heels she wore. With the blunt, black bob she had her hair in, it was no wonder Rowan didn’t immediately recognize her. He watched this woman dance for seemingly a single man, one who looked at her like a meal and was surrounded by five, strapping bodyguards. The lights on the stage hit her face at just the right angle, and Rowan recognized his wife.

Her body moved entrancingly, perhaps not as skilled or honed as Lysandra’s dancing, but enticing nevertheless. Aelin’s eyes were pinned on what he realized was her mark as she danced, and the stupid fool was too horny to notice the promise of death that lingered in them.

As he was assessing the situation around him, he met Lysandra’s eyes. There was only the barest hint of surprise in them as she recognized him, but she didn’t show it. In fact, she made it look as though it was part of the performance as she closed the distance between herself and Aelin, wrapped a hand around her arm, and pressed her lips to her ear to whisper something.

It was clear what that something was when Aelin’s eyes snapped to his, lips tightening in almost imperceptible anger.

One moment Aelin was on the stage and with the next flash of light, she was gone. The man who she had been dancing for frowned, looked as though he might complain or go searching for her. That is, until Lysandra took off her top and moved closer, effectively making him forget Aelin for the time being.

Rowan looked in the crowd, scanning the dimly lit bodies and faces for the one that belonged to his wife. In the flashing lights, it was nearly impossible to differentiate between the patrons, the dancers, the servers and the security. He was sure it was purposefully designed that way, to give the customers anonymity.

In the end, Rowan didn’t find Aelin. She found him.

Two hands clamped down on his shoulders and shoved him into the nearest open seat. In a heartbeat, he was being straddled. But her weight and the scent of her perfume was all too familiar.

There was ire glowing in her eyes, her upper lip twitching in an attempt to hold back a sneer. But, she had a role to play. She wrapped her arms around the back of his neck, pressed her body tight against his, and leaned in close enough until her lips were brushing against the shell of his ear.

“What the fuck are you doing here, Rowan? Do you want to blow my cover?”

“We need to leave immediately.”

“What? Why?”

“It’s a godsdamned sting.”

The words had barely finished falling from his lips when the music shut off suddenly, all the fluorescent lights flickering on at once, revealing every ounce of debauchery that had been happening under that roof. Men shouted in outrage, women gasped and moved to cover themselves. Rowan grabbed Aelin’s waist, hauling them both to the feet just as the doors burst open and feds started pouring in.

Instantly, it was chaos.

The women shouted, hurrying away from where the armed men were pouring in. While some of the male patrons were crying out in protest at their night being interrupted, others were shoving and rushing towards the door. Chances were they had warrants out for their arrests.

Rowan snatched a man’s trenchcoat off the back of the nearest chair, helping his wife shrug it over her scantily-clad body. He took the spare gun he had brought and pressed it into Aelin’s palm, leaning in close and hissing, “We need to go. Now.”

But it was as if she hadn’t heard a word she said. Aelin’s face had paled, her eyes wide and unblinking, pinned directly on a darkly-dressed man who had strolled in with the latest wave of feds.

Ice flowed through Rowan’s veins as he recognized who, exactly, had arrived.

His hair was a familiar shade of blonde, eyes the same color as the woman he had wed. Rowan had spent years dodging him, damning him, but always still slipping through his fingers. He was the biggest pain in his ass.

But to Aelin, Aedion Ashryver was so much more.

Rowan didn’t know how long it had last been since Aelin had laid eyes on her kin, but judging by her expression, it had been a great long while.

“We need to leave,” Rowan tried saying again. But still, it was as if his voice didn’t penetrate her ears. Aelin still looked towards her cousin, a tremble growing stronger in her hands. He didn’t dare say her name, real or false, in this place. So Rowan merely wrapped a hand around her upper arm, preparing to drag her away if necessary.

Aedion stopped, the waves of feds flowing around him and filling the premises. His brows were lowered, jaw set, lips tight, gaze sweeping around him. And somehow, whether by divine intervention of a particularly bad moment of luck, he looked right towards them. Right towards Aelin.

Instantly, Rowan saw his expression change. It was clear that even from the distance, even with the years that separated them and the disguise Aelin wore, her cousin recognized her. Aedion’s mouth and hands went slack, taking a nearly trance-like step in their direction, and his lips formed a familiar name.

Aelin.

“Fuck.” They were compromised. More than compromised, if he were being honest. They were screwed. “Please. Please listen to me.”

Whether it was his words or the slight tug he gave her arm, Aelin snapped out of it. She tore her gaze away from Aedion and followed his lead, falling into the chaotic waves of people rushing away from the feds.

It was a swell of bodies. Rowan’s senses were assaulted by the smell of expensive colognes and hair gels, alcohol, the shouts and squeals of both workers and patrons. Judging by the mania in which these people were trying to escape, Rowan would guess that nothing good would be waiting for them if they were caught.

Rowan and Aelin included.

A startled woman crashed into them, breaking the grip that Rowan had held on his wife’s arm. Even with turning back in her direction instantly, she was lost to the swarm. And with the people pushing and frantic, if Rowan stopped moving, he would be trampled.

He hissed out a filthy, dirty curse and pushed along with the crowd, inching closer and closer to the back door. Those going that way were idiots, there would be plenty of feds out that way waiting to catch those trying to escape. But Rowan knew better, and he knew his wife did too.

Arobynn wouldn’t frequent an establishment that didn’t have a discrete way for him to leave should the worst come to pass. Such as this shit show.

There was a door that led to a basement garage that Arobynn would park at when he would visit. Though Rowan had never seen it himself, nor had he been in this building, his years of studying Hamel and his movements proved to be more than beneficial tonight.

He managed to shove himself out of the thick of the crowd, slipping down a dark hall. Despite knowing approximately where the entrance to his garage was, Rowan hadn’t the slightest idea what the entrance looked like. It wouldn’t be a door, that would be too obvious. Was it one of the framed paintings? The shelf against the far wall? Or-?

Then he spotted it. A long, tall mirror pressed against the wall. The glass was spotless save for fingerprints on the edges and the shape of lips in the same shade of red that had painted Aelin’s mouth that night. A clue, and a message. She had gone this way.

He pulled at the edge of the mirror and with only minor resistance, it swung open and revealed a dark, long hallway. Rowan wasted no time slipping into the shadow and shutting the entrance behind him, leaving him in near-total obscurity.

Relying on little more than his instinct and whatever vague shapes his eyes could make-out through the murk, Rowan moved.

He strained his ears for any clue of where Aelin could be, hoping for the sound of her voice or the click of her heel. Anything that told him he was getting closer and that she was safe.

But he wouldn’t be so lucky.

He didn’t know how long he traveled, the cool, damp air telling him he was likely underground somewhere. Where exactly, he couldn’t pinpoint. His intel had only told him that Hamel had a secret exit, but not where it led to.

After what felt like hours, the narrow hall opened into the garage he was expecting. There were a handful of dark, nondescript black cars parked. None running, nor had the garage been opened. But there was another exit whose door was opened just a crack, pale light from the night streaking inside.

He followed that light, slipping outside and finding himself in an alley. From his vantage point, there were no obvious signs to tell him where he was. Nor any signs of his wife.

A frustrated breath hissed out through his clenched teeth, tugging on his hair. Where the ever loving fuck was she? Rowan debated just heading towards the nearest road, finding his way home. Perhaps she was already on her way there, perhaps-

But before he could further debate his next move, there was a distinctly metallic click from behind, and then the tell-tale feeling of something hard and dangerous nudging the back of his head.

“Where the fuck is she?”

Dread, cold and oily, rushed through Rowan. He knew that voice. Knew it belonged to the one person he had been meaning to avoid at all costs. Grinding his teeth, Rowan slowly raised his hands.

“I said,” Aedion Ashryver growled, jabbing the back of Rowan’s head once more with his gun. “Where is she? What have you done to Aelin Galathynius?”

He was compromised. Fucked, in all honesty. In his harried rush to find his wife, he had let his guard down. And now he was at Aedion Ashrvyer’s mercy. Not that he likely had much to give. He thought that Rowan had kidnapped his cousin, probably suspected he and his consorts were doing much worse on her given the situation in which he had found them: Aelin dressed as a stripper, Rowan’s hand tight on her arm and pulling her away. Rowan would be lucky to leave here tonight walking.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” The excuse sounded lame even to Rowan’s ears.

“You bastard.”

Rowan could hear the hurt, the sorrow, the pain in Aedion’s voice. He couldn’t imagine what he was feeling. Even if he had been holding on to hope that Aelin was alive all these years, seeing her must have been an entirely different experience.

Rowan considered his options. He could continue to try and make paltry excuses to buy himself some time, but it likely wouldn’t do much. He would be taken into custody, interrogated, likely tortured for information. Especially since he had just been seen with Terrasen’s princess.

Aedion gave a low, mirthless laugh. “We’ve been looking for the right excuse, the right situation, to bring you in for years, Whitethorn. And now, we’re going to have plenty of time to get answers out of you… by any means necessary.”

Fuck. Rowan had a few moments, perhaps only seconds, before Aedion summoned backup and he would be totally and thoroughly screwed. They’d haul him away under armed guards, take him to somewhere so secure there would be no chance of escape or rescue. And although Rowan had been trained to not break under torture, he certainly wasn’t looking forward to it.

“Put the gun down, Aedion.”

Rowan froze. He knew that voice. And judging by the catch of Aedion’s breath, so did he.

Aelin.

…

Aelin willed her hands not to tremble as she pointed her gun at the back of her cousin’s head. Every fiber of her being was protesting, telling her it wasn’t right. Aedion had been like a brother to her growing up, the other side of her golden coin. Pointing a weapon at him felt wrong. So wrong.

But his gun had been pointed at her husband. Which meant she had no other choice.

“Aelin?”

Her name sounded raw and painful coming from her cousin’s lips. Hurt and confused. Aelin had to swallow hard to keep the swell of sorrow within her in check.

“Drop the gun, put your hands up, and turn around slowly,” she instructed in a low, even voice. “Now.”

Inch by inch, Aedion squatted low and placed his weapon on the concrete below before raising his hands and turning towards her.

It was a practice in self-control to keep her expression blank as she saw Aedion for the first time up close since they were children. There had been photos of him over the years, yes, but Aelin had never liked to look at them for too long, lest the ache in her chest get the best of her. But now… there was no turning away.

The years had added a harshness to his face the same way they had done to hers. They still had similar sharp jaws and cheekbones, matching golden undertones beneath their skin. Their hair was the same shade of blonde, though hers was still hidden beneath the harsh, black wig she had worn tonight. And then those eyes… Ashryver eyes, same as hers. His, however, were swimming with tears.

“You’re alive,” he rasped. “I never gave up hope but…” His eyes scanned her up and down, likely looking for injuries that she didn’t currently have.

Without Aedion’s gun pointed at him, Rowan moved to her side, his presence steadying and grounding in the whirlwind of this moment. Aedion’s eyes shot towards him briefly, filled with disgust momentarily before they were locked on hers once again.

“Aelin,” her cousin began, “you can come home. Please. Put the gun down and we can get you away from this. Keep you safe.”

“I can’t go home, Aedion. Not now.”

There was a deep furrow between his brow. “Is he hurting you? Is he keeping you here? Are others?”

“Rowan is not hurting me. No one is forcing me to do anything or keeping me anywhere.”

“Then come home. Whatever you’ve been through these years, whatever you’ve had to do to survive… it doesn’t matter. We can get through this, get you help-”

“Aedion, please.” Aelin’s heart hammered in her chest, palms slick with sweat against the grip of her gun. “I need time. I need you to trust me. There are things I have to do before I can be rid of all of this.”

There was confusion in his gaze, but he still said, “Then let me help you.”

She shook her head. “I can’t let you do that.”

“Please, Fireheart.”

Aelin flinched.

Fireheart. Her mother had called her that as a child, a name that had only ever been spoken with love. She hadn’t heard it, hadn’t even dared to whisper it to herself in the dark, since the day her parents were killed. Hearing it again now… Aedion was good. Good at trying to get her to do what he wanted.

But she couldn’t.

“If you’ve ever trusted me, you must trust me now,” Aelin said. “Stay out of my way. Don’t come looking for either me or Rowan. You’ll be putting us all in danger if you do so. Do you understand?”

“I don’t understand any of this.”

“Well, you’re going to have to fucking figure it out, Aedion. Don’t come poking around unless you want to get either us or yourself killed.”

Aedion blinked, still trying to put all the pieces together.

Her heart wrenched for him, for all the hurt and confusion he must be feeling now. It wasn’t fair but she didn’t have the luxury of being fair.

“You have to trust me, Aedion. You have no other choice.”

Aelin lowered the gun and her cousin let his hands drop to his sides. He was too shocked to pose much of a threat now, judging by his body-language. So she took a step closer, close enough that she could have embraced him if she wanted to.

“I- I’ll find you after,” she whispered, lips pressing together tight. “But for now… I’m sorry.”

Aedion only had a heartbeat to look confused by her apology before she swiftly brought the butt of her pistol down on his head and knocked her cousin out cold.

…

Not a single word was uttered as they traveled back to Rowan’s apartment, keeping to shadowy places, hiding in alcoves when police vehicles sped past.

Aelin was on edge the entire time, her entire body tight and fragile, like at any moment, she would shatter. It took much effort to keep herself together, to not fall apart in relief when she laid eyes on Rowan’s building.

Rowan was just a step behind her as she pushed into the apartment, his fingers just missing her arm as she swept away.

“Aelin…”

She didn’t respond, her towering heels seeming deafeningly loud on the hard floors as she strode into Rowan’s room, making a bee-line for the bathroom. She fisted the hairs of her wig and tore it off, tossing it carelessly to the tile floor of the bathroom. The stranger’s coat, which smelled heavily of cigars and booze, was next.

Her hands were trembling as she turned on the sink, splashing bracingly cold water on her face and scrubbing roughly, hoping it would help ground her back in her body.

Aelin gripped the edge of the counter and dared to look at herself in the mirror. She looked a fright. Makeup was smeared across her face, dripping and clumping. Her hair was sweaty and frizzy and her eyes… blown wide and red-rimmed. She felt ridiculous, still wearing the matching set.

In the reflection, she saw Rowan enter, concern etched on his handsome face. He approached slowly, giving her time to step away if she so wanted. But, she didn’t. Let him place his hands on her shoulders and turn her towards him gently.

Wordlessly, he grabbed and wet a washcloth, cleaning away the ruined makeup with a tenderness that made her heart clench.

“Are you alright?” he asked quietly.

There was a tightness in her throat. “I- I just didn’t expect to see him tonight. To talk to him.”

“I know.” He cleaned away the smeared, red lipstick around her mouth. “I’m sorry.”

The trembling returned to her hands, her entire body, as her eyes burned. “He… he’s going to keep looking for me, now. He’s not going to stay away. And when Arobynn finds out that Aedion knows I’m alive, he’s going to-” She couldn’t even finish her statement, the sobs overpowering her.

Rowan dropped the rag and hauled her against his chest, holding her tightly as she cried.

She lost track of time with the sorrow, not knowing how long they stood in the bathroom, waiting for her cries and shaking to subside. When her body went limp with exhaustion, Rowan gently guided her into the bedroom, urging her to sit on the edge of the bed. He went to his knees before her and removed the heels she wore before he removed the bra and panties.

Rowan had undressed her plenty of times now, but this was different. It wasn’t for the purpose of fucking her, but rather to simply take care of her. He returned with a soft shirt of his own for her to wear for the evening, helping to slip it over her head.

He pulled the covers back and they crawled into bed, instantly coming together in the middle. Aelin found solace in his arms, tucking herself into his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart, and praying for sleep to take her swiftly.

~~~

a/n: allow me to apologize for the long wait for this chapter! some months, the writing juices flow better than the others. still, i hope everyone enjoys! we’re honestly probably pretty close to the end of this story!

tags: @val-gon @cookiemonsterwholovesbooks @lattristantketchup @poisonous00 @sleeping-and-books @booklover242 @elentiyawhitethorn @shyvioletcat @charlizeed @swankii-art-teacher @nalgenewhore @morganofthewildfire @emily-gsh @fireheart-violet @fangirling-4-ever @leiawritesstories @stardelia @empress-ofbloodshed @fromthelibraryofemilyj @gwynethhberdara @rowaelinrambling @justreadertings @thegreyj @rubyriveraqueen @rowanaelinn

#misery business #my writing #rowaelin

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morganofthewildfire · 1 year

Text

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My New Year's Kiss

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just some cute little fluff

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Rowan hadn’t quite imagined this is how his New Year’s Eve was going to go. He didn’t think he’d be holed up in the guest bathroom of his best friend Lorcan’s house, holding back his girlfriend’s hair as she vomited into the toilet, but he wasn’t mad about it.

In fact, he was grateful to be the one making sure there wasn’t any vomit on her face, and that she was puking properly into the toilet.

After all, he’d been crushing on Aelin Galathynius for practically his whole life, so he couldn’t be upset about finally getting the chance to be by her side. From growing up together, being by each other’s sides through other relationships and jealousy and stupidity, Rowan didn’t think they’d ever get past their friendship to something more.

But they finally had, coming out of college, and now after a year, they were more in love than ever.

“Gods, Rowan,” she groaned, leaning forward to rest her head against the porcelain. Her golden hair was sweaty, sticking to her neck and her clammy skin. Her mascara was smudged, her blue eyes dim, the product of the several drinks she’d had.

She’d started off with a good old Moscow Mule at their apartment, but then when they’d arrived at Lorcan and Elide’s party, she’d had a mix of strawberry lemonade vodka, an alcoholic tea/lemonade mixture, some seltzers, and then two shots of peppermint schnapps.

It was the shots that had finally done her in, sending her to the bathroom before the clock even struck midnight.

Rowan hadn’t drank much of anything, just sipping on the same beer all evening. He didn’t particularly need the alcohol, he was just happy to be there. And he wanted Aelin to have fun without worrying about being responsible. He was there to take care of her.

“I warned you about the schnapps,” Rowan chuckled as she glared back at him halfheartedly.

“Lys kept shoving them at me,” she whined, “what was I supposed to do?”

He opened his mouth to tease her more, but stopped when she retched again. He rubbed her lower back softly with one hand, holding her hair back with his other as she spit into the toilet.

Her sparkly dress, that had made his heart nearly stop earlier, was rucked up over her knees where she was tangled up on the ground. Her heels had been abandoned hours ago.

The loud music and raucous conversation was muffled through the door, giving them a little bit of peace there in the bathroom.

“Just let it all out,” Rowan whispered to her, “You’ll feel better afterwards.”

Aelin groaned again, leaning back from the toilet to fall against his chest. “Never let me drink again,” she complained, and he had to chuckle again at that.

“You'll be drinking again next week for Lysandra’s birthday,” he said, “don’t even deny it.” His girlfriend didn’t respond, just leaning forward to vomit again.

“Just no shots,” she forced out when she was done retching, and Rowan smoothed her hair back behind her ears, his other hand rubbing small circles against her waist.

“I’ll do my best,” he said, fighting the smile on his face.

“10! 9! 8!” He heard everyone begin to shout the countdown, and he blinked in surprise. He hadn’t realized it was so late already. But he didn’t miss a beat, tilting Aelin’s face gently to look back at him. “7! 6! 5!”

“No, Rowan,” she protested, “my mouth is all vomity.” She fidgeted a little bit in his arms, but he didn’t let her go, just smiling softly at her.

“I don’t care,” he said. “I just want to kiss you at midnight.”

“4! 3! 2!”

“You’re too godsdamned sweet,” she whined, but stopped resisting, turning to face him completely.

“1! Happy New Year!”

Rowan leaned in and captured her lips, vomity breath or not. Her lips were soft against his, despite the smudged lipstick and lingering alcohol, and her cheek was soft under his hand. He just wanted to forever breathe her in, forever hold her in his arms. He wanted her to be forever perched in his lap like this, leaning on him and trusting him.

There was no one he’d rather spend New Years with.

“Happy New Year,” Rowan murmured to her, smiling down at her.

“Happy New Year, buzzard,” Aelin replied, grinning up at him. “I love you.” She nuzzled into his neck, her golden hair tickling his nose.

“I love you, too,” he said, combing through that hair.

The others would come looking for them soon. Or they’d probably leave soon, Aelin could use some good sleep and some water. But for now, they’d enjoy this little haven of peace.

-----

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sarahjswift · 1 year

Text

Twin Wounds Chapter 4

Here is another chapterrr :3 I made it extra long because you all have been so nice and supportive! (I went to a coffee shop and wrote this chapter eating a grilled cheese sandwich like a real writer!!)

Tag List: WE HAVE AN AMAZING NEW MEMBER. THIS PERSON COMMENTS THE SWEETEST THINGS ON MY POSTS AND I LOVE READING THEM!! PLEASE WELCOME...@aelinchocolatelover!! As always, also huge thanks to @backtobl4ck :)

Word Count: 2.6k

Warnings: Language, Light Smut :3

Enjoy!! :)

People can be homes. Sure, Aelin scoffed. Apparently, her therapy group was a bunch of cringey idiots. And her fucking hot therapist was the most infuriating person she had ever met. Her palms hurt from her nails digging into them all the while he had looked at her. She couldn’t handle his beautiful eyes looking at her knowingly. As if he knew what she was going through.

After another miserable half hour of therapy, the group was herded to an outside area. People were gathered around talking like it was high school recess. The area was a large grassy field, some proud oak trees scattered around. Another nurse, Beluar, smiled at their group and motioned for them to mingle.

Lysandra immediately sat down on a bench beneath a tree, Lucas following suit. “That was a stupid session,” she said, her eyes closed.

“I..I don’t know, I liked it,” Elide said softly, flushing when Tiela nodded at her. “What about you, Aelin?”

Aelin looked Elide up and down. She thought the female was sweet, was probably a great person, and had been through some traumatic things. But Aelin didn’t have the energy to dredge up small talk and form friendships. She shrugged, staring at the ground.

“It’s rude not to answer somebody,” a cold voice said, and Aelin’s eyes snapped up to Tiela, who was looking at her with an disgusted expression.

Aelin bristled. “Are you my mother?”

“No, thank God,” Tiela smirked. “I’m sure you were a nightmare. Even worse than you are now.”

Aelin grinded her teeth. Tiela must have still been salty from therapy. “I’m not going to waste my time listening to this shit,” she growled, standing up and storming away. She felt her anger cloud around her head, blocking out other senses, before she slammed into something hard. She cursed and looked up, ready to fight, before she was faced with an eyeful of her therapist.

He was even hotter up close, so close that she could see his eyelashes - so close she could smell him. He smelled like pine and snow, a scent so nice she almost closed her eyes and leaned in - before realizing what was going on. She lurched back, muttering an apology - but in her haste, she tripped and almost fell over.

Rowan reached out and steadied her, his hand warm and strong on her arm. It sent electricity through her body, and she looked up at him, breathless. “Are you all right, Aelin?” he asked, his beautiful face twisted into concern.

“I’m. Fine.” she gritted out. Realization seemed to cross Rowan’s face and he immediately let go of her arm. Aelin felt cold where his hand used to be and crossed her arms.

“I’m…I’m sorry that this isn’t an ideal place to be,” Rowan said to her softly. Aelin raised her eyebrows at the sudden change of tone in the conversation, and her therapist scratched the back of his head. “I know you’d rather be at your home, maybe with your cousin-” Aelin’s expression at that must have been alarmed, because Rowan stammered; “I-I know him from your file.”

Aelin cocked her head. “My…file?” Rowan nodded, and a horrible thought crept into her mind. “What….what is in my file?” she breathed.

Rowan rubbed his neck and looked at the ground. “Oh, you know, the usual. Er, a photo of you, a little from your cousin, and….ehm, things of that sort.” From that terrible performance, Aelin had a pretty good idea what else was in her file - but she didn’t, couldn’t, handle that shame.

“Alright,” she said, forcing herself to believe him. She didn’t let herself consider the alternative - that the staff at this place knew about Him. She felt sadness replace the anger in her stomach, and she hugged herself. Find the knife, a small voice in the back of her mind whispered. Aelin shoved it aside.

“Actually, I wanted to talk to your group,” Rowan continued, bringing Aelin back to reality with a start. He squinted into the distance where her group was still sitting and began walking to them. Aelin followed behind, cursing mentally that she had to go back to those judgy people. As she neared the group, Lysandra looked her up and down and subtly moved to the side of the bench - making a place for Aelin. Aelin mentally debated before sitting down next to the woman.

“Hello, everyone - long time no see?” Rowan chuckled to himself. The rest of the group stared at him in dead silence, and he hastily continued. “I wanted to talk to all of you. I forgot to mention something at group therapy today. At the Whitethorn Rehab Center, patients are allowed one phone call a day to a person of your choice, whether it be a family member, a friend, or a loved one. We have an hour a day designated for this purpose -- 10-11pm – but if you’d like to make a call at a specific time, just tell a staff member and they can help. If your person of choice doesn’t pick up the call, you will be allowed one other time during the day.”

The group perked up at that, and even Aelin felt a bit lighter. At least she could still talk to Aedion. Maybe she could convince him to get her out of this place.

“Are you alright, Lysandra?” Elide asked softly. Aelin turned, and to her surprise, the female beside her was watery-eyed.

“I’m fine,” she said thickly. “Just..I’m excited to have a call.”

“Who will you call?” Rowan asked in that gentle, understanding voice he used with them, the voice that made Aelin feel safer than she had in a while.

“My niece.” Lysandra blinked a couple times, clearing her tears away, and set her shoulders. “I’m practically her mother. She’s staying with her grandmother right now, but…she doesn’t like it very much. She’ll be very happy when she learns I can call.”

The group nodded. “Actually, it’s time for calls,” Rowan said. “Shall we make our way?”

Twenty minutes later, Aelin was dialing Aedion on one of those old phones you always saw at a police station. She leaned against the brick wall, listening to the phone ring, before lurching up straight as she heard the click of a call.

“Hello?” Aedion’s voice crackled through the line, and Aelin let out a breath. She hadn’t realized how much she’d missed her cousin.

“Hey, Aedion. It’s Aelin.”

“Aelin? Are you okay? Do you need help?” Aedion asked frantically.

“No, I’m fine. We get a call every day at this place.” Aedion let out an appreciative hum, but Aelin pressed on. “But actually, yeah, I would like some help. I want you to come pick me up.”

Rowan sat in his office, trying to calm the heat in his blood. One fucking look, one fucking touch and he was no more than the horny teenager he had once been. It was disgusting, him thirsting after his patient who was three years younger than him.

And yet - and yet Rowan could have sworn that heat had flashed in Aelin’s eyes as she looked at him through her lashes.

Move past it, man, Rowan chided himself. He checked his watch - 12. Time for lunch. He pulled out his Tupperware and began to eat his sandwich, pulling out his phone. He’d texted Remelle earlier to say he’d gotten her number, and she had texted him back.

Remelle: Hello muscles

Me: Hey

Remelle: Oooo hello good sir

Remelle: What you doing?

Me: I’m on my lunch break

Remelle: what do you even do?

Me: therapist

Remelle: ….

Remelle: mm k

Me: what

Remelle: nothin, that’s a notable career

Remelle: good for you

Me: ..thanks

Rowan frowned at his phone screen. He couldn’t help feeling a little hurt at Remelle’s obvious distaste for his profession.

Remelle: ANYWAY

Remelle: I was wondering if you r free tonight

Me: I am

Remelle: 😈

Remelle: My shift ends at 11

Remelle: meet me there?

Me: sure.

Me: do you want to go to a place or….

Remelle: nah car hookups are hot

Me: ok heh

Me: see you then i guess

Remelle: 😘

Rowan closed his phone and sat back in his chair, taking the last bite of his sandwich. However awkward their conversation was, he was looking forward to seeing Remelle again. He needed to get Aelin out of his head and focus on his career, dammit.

Though, that might be harder than he thought, given that Rowan had already scheduled a one on one therapy session with Aelin for Monday. Dammit, Rowan cursed himself. Well, that’s a problem for Monday Rowan. Not Friday Rowan.

____

“Did you have a nice talk with your niece?”

Lysandra looked up, surprised, but Aelin was even more startled with the question that had slipped out of her mouth. Lysandra gave her a tentative smile. “She’s well, happy to hear from me. Luckily her grandmother isn’t being too terrible. Yet.”

Aelin nodded. “Good.”

They were sitting in the cafeteria eating lunch, all of them quiet after their phone calls. No matter how much Aelin begged, Aedion had insisted she stay at the center.

“Please, Aelin. They are here to help, I promise. You just have to let them in,” Aedion had pleaded.

“I fucking hate this, Aedion!” she’d hissed into the phone, not wanting to be overheard. “Please, if you still love me, come pick me up. This is not helping.”

Her cousin had been silent for a few long moments, quiet enough she’d thought the line had dropped, before saying; “Just give it two weeks. If you feel the same then, I’ll pick you up.”

“Fine.”

“I’m sorry, Aelin. I just want to help.”

Aelin had let out a breath, pinching the bridge of her nose. “I know. It’s okay, Aedion. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Aelin snapped back to reality to find her group staring at her expectantly. “Er, what was that?” she asked awkwardly, shoving a potato chip into her mouth. She had finally given into her hunger and had grabbed a bag of chips.

“I just asked who you called,” Elide smiled at her.

“Oh, uhm…,” Aelin debated for half a second whether to actually tell them, but she didn’t have the energy to make up a lie. “My cousin, Aedion.”

“Is he the one who checked you in?” Lysandra asked. The woman again had sat next to her at lunch and was now eating a bowl of soup. The steam flowed up and around Lysandra’s face - with that and her near-glowing emerald eyes, she created an eerie appearance.

Aelin dipped her head. “Yes.”

“My mother checked me in,” Elide said quietly. All eyes went to her and she took a small bite of bread. She chewed for a while, her face contemplative, before continuing. “She checked me in because of my bulimia. I had relapsed since joining a….a not so nice group of girls. She was distraught. I’d been bulimic since I can remember, but it stopped for a while, and then…high school.”

The group was quiet for a while. “I’m sorry,” Lysandra said softly. She reached out and covered Elide’s hand with her own. Lucas gave Elide a side hug, and Tiela and Selmer murmured their apologies. Aelin looked into the female’s dark, depthless eyes and gave her a nod. A nod of respect and sorrow for her, something she hoped to convey in the action. From the small light in Elide’s eyes, Aelin knew she understood.

___

“Have a good weekend, Sellene,” Rowan called over his shoulder as he left the building into the pitch black night. Sellene echoed the sentiment and Rowan walked across the parking lot to his car.

Sitting in the driver’s seat, Rowan sat in the dark, the only light being his phone screen. It was 9pm and he still had two hours before he was going to see Remelle. Two hours, with nothing to do. He sighed and pulled out of the parking lot, driving to the gym.

When he entered the locker room, he was immediately met by Lorcan, Rowan’s closest friend and gym buddy. The rough-looking man with dark wavy hair that brushed his shoulders and intense black eyes clapped Rowan on the shoulder. “Rowan. Dude. Why the hell did you ditch me last night?”

“I met a girl,” Rowan brushed him off, opening his locker. He pulled his shirt off and began changing.

“Oooo, a girl,” Lorcan cooed sarcastically. He rolled his eyes. “You could’ve texted, man.”

“I did!” Rowan protested, tying his shoelaces.

Lorcan frowned. “Uh, no you didn’t.”

Before Rowan could say anymore, another man entered the locker room - Fenrys. He was also Rowan’s friend, but they weren’t as close. Fenrys was a beautiful man with year-round tan skin and golden hair. He gave Lorcan and Rowan a wolfish grin as he passed.

“My dudes,” he crowed. “I haven’t seen you in forever!”

“It’s been two weeks, Fenrys,” Lorcan sighed, dropping his previous argument. He tied up his hair into a ponytail and left the locker room. Fenrys frowned at his back, and turned to Rowan with raised eyebrows.

“I have no idea what’s up with him.” Rowan finished changing and watched Fenrys unwind from the gym. “I’m just here for a quick workout before…er, before something else.”

“Oh ho,” Fenrys said, his eyes wide. “I know that look! Are you seeing a girl, darling Rowan?”

Rowan forced his face to stay straight. Fenrys’s grin stretched wider, seeing through him. “Nice, my guy. Good for you.”

___

After a nice core workout, Rowan was sweaty and gross as he drove to Remelle’s bar. Great, now she’ll think I’m nasty, he groaned inwardly as he gave himself a much-needed self-sniff. He applied some emergency deodorant, but it didn’t really help.

At 11:15, Remelle emerged from the building, its pounding music heard from outside. She scanned the parking lot before grinning as she spotted Rowan. She nearly skipped over to his car, hopping into the backseat where Rowan waited.

“Hey,” Rowan said, smiling awkwardly. “How was work?”

“I don’t really want to talk, you idiot,” Remelle laughed, leaning in to kiss him. Her mouth was sticky and she smelled like alcohol again. He wrapped his arms around her back, leaning into the kiss. Remelle stroked her hands down his arms, pulling away to say against his lips; “Holy shit you are jacked!”

“Just got back from the gym,” Rowan grunted, pulling back to look at her. She wore her uniform, but her top three buttons were undone.

Remelle wrinkled her nose. “That explains why you smell like a dead mouse.” Rowan winced and opened his mouth to apologize before she covered it with her own. Remelle pushed him back onto the seat, laying him down, and giggled as she leaned over him. Rowan stared up at her, her smudged mascara and flushed face.

“You look beautiful,” he murmured, and meant it. This was perfect - Remelle was an attractive, nice female - maybe they could date. When he was with her, he totally didn’t think about a certain patient. Not at all.

Remelle rolled her eyes. “I don’t need the compliments, I know already.” She leaned in and pressed rough kisses against Rowan’s neck. He felt his neck becoming sticky, and he sat up on his elbows.

“Er, would you mind wiping your mouth?” he asked awkwardly. Remelle didn’t look up at him, kissing across his collarbone. “Um, it’s just, your lipgloss or whatever. It’s sticky.”

“Oh my fucking god, fine,” Remelle groaned, sitting up. She grabbed Rowan’s gross gym shirt and wiped her mouth with it. Rowan felt a pit in the bottom of his stomach form as he watched her.

“Sorry.” Great - now he was uncomfortable and Remelle seemed annoyed. The woman shot him a glare and then let out a breath, unbuttoning her top to reveal her generous bosom.

She advanced toward him then, lips stretching to a wicked grin. “It’s okay. You’re lucky you’re hot.”

#throne of glass #fanfic #sarah j maas #rowaelin

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ashleyinwondrland · 4 months

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Imagine in a crossover between TOG and ACOTAR

Aelin and Feyre, queen and high lady, speaking as leaders of their homes, not friends yet. Aelin gives Feyre a document to look over and while Feyre can read now, sometimes it takes her longer. Especially with words unfamiliar.

Aelin sees Feyre’s confused look, and questions the high lady. Feyre, who chooses to be honest with the potential ally, tells her she only recently learned to read. Then explains her life, her story.

The whole time Aelin is listening to every word, while also being reminded of one of her most loyal friends Elide. She puts aside pretense with Feyre, and the two form a bond not just as an alliance but a friendship.

#acotar #tog #throne of glass #a court of thorns and roses #aelin galathynius #feyre archeron

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wordsafterhours · 10 months

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Songs About You - Chapter 14

Author's note: About time I got this done. I hope everyone who still likes this fic is around and will take time to enjoy this update. I made myself laugh, which is almost just as good as making someone else laugh.

*don't come for me at the end with pitchforks.*

Word Count: 3.3k

----------------------------------------------------------------------

She was floating somewhere between dreaming and unfortunate consciousness. Seeking to keep hold of sleep, Aelin flopped onto her side, groaning when she hit a dense mass instead of her usual plethora of feather pillows. Cracking a heavy lid, she peered at the lump. Dorian hadn’t moved, his soft snores unwavering. Least one of them was still delightfully asleep and unaware.

With the last tendrils of grogginess dissipating, a splitting headache became apparent. It felt like the bones were trying to crack apart in areas long knitted together. A dull sense of nausea was also floating around, but she was trying very hard to not acknowledge it, hoping it would sink away. Hangovers were merciless and never worth the night before.

Fleetfoot wasn’t bothering her, which likely meant it was still early or the dog was sleeping in as well. Whatever the case, Aelin decided more sleep would cure her ailment. Flipping over, she was met with brief surprise, again. Fenrys, a more eloquent sleeper than Dorian, was cuddling her stuffed animal, looking as though he was having the best sleep of his life.

Two attractive men in bed had to be somewhere on everyone’s fantasy list, likely even hers if she gave it enough honest thought. This would likely be a running joke in the days to come, but for now, it was comforting. One old friend, one new, both irreplaceable. After the events of last night, they had driven her home, whispered soft words as she cried, and offered to pummel both Rowan and Elide. It was exactly what she had needed.

Sinking into the mattress, Aelin closed her eyes, trying to calm her mind enough to fall back to sleep. But it was pointless. Her body was relaxed, the soft linen sheets caressing her skin, attempting to soothe her back to sleep, but her traitorous mind was in hyperdrive. It kept replaying the events of last night over and over, on a high-definition loop.

The betrayal was a feeling reminiscent of when she was a kid, and her mother would dab antiseptic on her cut. Except now, there was no one to blow on it, the stinging felt painfully in full affect. Rowan, in the days prior had eased it all, and somewhere in the depths of her disappointing sadness, there was a part of her that would fall at his feet, hoping he would do it again.

Aelin’s body froze momentarily, shocked, as an arm fell across her body, pulling her close. “I can hear you thinking from here and it’s disturbing my slumber,” the sleep-addled voice said against exposed shoulder.

“We cannot all be unbothered by the world, your highness,” she cheeked back.

He let out nothing more than noncommittal grunt. She would have thought him back to sleep if not for the occasional lazy circles he was drawing across her skin. This was their friendship, strong and ignorant of proper boundaries. To an outsider, they would appear like a couple, but having tried that once, it was evident friends was the better choice.

“I’m not sure if I should be turned on or jealous at the moment,” tutted Fen, his voice a little huskier than appropriate for morning hours.

Aelin cracked a lid, her bright eyes connecting with his appraising stare. He looked like the cat who ate the canary, and it made her face scrunch from a widening smile. “You’re just jealous that the stuffed animal doesn’t snuggle back.”

“Hmm, I don’t think it’s that,” he declared with a low chuckle.

“Aelin, where did you find this mannerless mongrel?”

“The same place I found you: the bar.”

“Excuse me, that is not where you found me.” She bit her lip, trying to hold in a laugh. She just knew his face was pinched in indignation. Dorian was known to be quite wanton in his behavior, but it wasn’t a topic of discussion. Everyone just knew and that was that.

“Is anyone going to invite the dog to snuggle or…?”

“I didn’t see Fleetf—” her remark stilted as a pillow collided with her face.

“Well, Dorian, you were right, he is a mannerless mongrel.”

“Fine! I didn’t want to cuddle with you two anyways. Wouldn’t want to give anyone fleas.”

Aelin let Fenrys roll almost out of bed before reaching out, grabbing his shirt beneath her fingers. “C’mere.”

The body heat from both men was almost too much to bear and she fought the comforter to stick a foot out for some relief. Contentedly, she relaxed, feeling unexpectedly safe in the current arrangement. She may not have Rowan and her best friend may have slit her heart from her chest, but in her bones, she knew Dorian and Fenrys would never hurt her. Perhaps, if she was less damaged, she’d let the blond seriously pursue her because underneath his cheeky persona, his heart was gold.

“Shhhh, you’re going to wake her up,” a harsh, hushed whisper grated across Aelin’s semi-conscious mind.

“I don’t even know how she’s sleeping through that loud banging.”

“I get the impression she doesn’t often sleep good.”

“Well, sleep is on the bottom of what’s important right now. If you haven’t noticed, it sounds like someone is making off with half the downstairs!”

“Buck up buttercup and put on your big boy pants. I think two of us can take whoever it is,” Fenrys claimed, sliding from the bed and into his discarded jeans from the night prior.

“I know we just met and all, but confronting robbers isn’t in my area of expertise. I have a full security team at home.”

Aelin, who had been listening to this entire exchange, was two seconds from losing all sense of decorum and giving up that she was awake. Dorian sounded so panicked, surely his eyes were the size of saucers, and he was likely clenching her comforter tight. He lived a far more sheltered life than she had, despite also growing up in the public eye.

“Dorian, get up!”

“You can’t just order me about.”

The bed jostled followed by loud thump. That’s one way to do it, she amusedly thought to herself. Cracking a lid, Aelin could see Fenrys holding out Dorian’s clothes with an annoyed expression.

Dorian huffed, his face matching Fenrys’, as he took his clothes and started to put them on. His lean arms slipped into his shirt, but he paused, angling his head—clearly he heard something she did not. Fenrys froze, too, his stance stiffening as he stared at her bedroom door.

Worry hadn’t been present before because if it had been anyone serious downstairs, Fleetfoot would have barked her head off. More than likely, the boys had heard the dog causing chaos downstairs, and not people. But now, doubt was filtering in.

The bedroom door flew open and before Aelin could even process what was happening, Dorian was running full speed and tackling the intruder, landing outside in the hallway. Fenrys froze in a shock, arm still raised, a heavy book in hand.

“GET OFF ME!” screeched Manon.

“Ah gods,” Aelin muttered, immediately springing past Fenrys.

A pant-less Dorian was moving to stand, and Manon was flat of her back, white-blonde hair splayed out on the wooden floor, red faced and angry.

“Hey M,” she supplied coolly, extending an arm to help to help her up. Manon waved her off, too busy staring daggers at Dorian, who looked like he was wishing he could be anywhere but here.

Aelin could feel Fenrys standing behind her and she leaned into him, enjoying the feel of his warm skin against her shoulders. Truthfully, an angry Manon scared her, and she wasn’t afraid to seek Fernys’ protection against her.

Manon sat up, her piercing gold eyes roving over each of them, no doubt cataloging details and mustering up ideas.

“Before you jump to the wrong conclusion, it’s not what it looks like,” Aelin rushed out defensively.

“So, you didn’t all come out of the same room in various stages of undress? No shirt, no pants, and don’t even get me started on the amount of skin you’re showing.”

The tips of her ears burned in embarrassment.

“I swear, it really isn’t what it looks like.”

“Somehow you saying that just makes it that more unbelievable. Everyone knows how you are.”

“Manon,” Aelin chastised. Dorian may have been a flirt, opportunistic in bedding people, but it didn’t warrant his feelings being stepped on because she someone was angry.

“You act like what I said isn’t true.”

“That may be, but it isn’t true in this moment. We don’t know one another well, but they’re both being honest when they say nothing is going on. Please don’t make either one feel bad for something that’s strictly innocent in nature.” Fenrys brushed passed Aelin, extending a hand to the woman still laid out on the floor. Manon took it, rising to her feet. No thank you was given and the four stood in silence.

She wanted to ask what Manon was doing there and why there was an almost musical banging coming from downstairs, but at the same time, she was tired of being talked down to. Self-conscious, she pulled down on her tank top, eliminating the skin showing above her sleep shorts. The pair of golden eyes missed nothing, zeroing in on her movements.

Fenrys noticed, stepping a few paces and giving her shoulder a soft squeeze in reassurance. “Manon, how about we go downstairs and get you some ice.”

“What for?” she sniped.

“To cool you off.”

“I’m not hot.”

Regret colored her face the minute she said she wasn’t hot, and Dorian looked too pleased with himself when he followed up with flirty statement declaring otherwise. Manon rolled her eyes and headed back to the first floor, taking the stairs two at a time.

“Does she eat children for breakfast?” Fen asked with shiver.

“With a side of kittens,” Dorian confirmed, his blue eyes watching the stairs, as though he were waiting for her to rush back up them and give another lashing.

“I think I’ll get dressed,” Aelin said to no one in particular, ducking back into her bedroom. The two boys followed, each grabbing their missing clothing and shrugging into them.

“We’ll see you down there, ‘kay,” Dor declared in parting, Fen hot on his heels.

With a resigned sigh, she flopped back into mussed bed covers, all will to change clothes dissipating. She grabbed the stuffed animal, sitting him on her chest, “Did you enjoy being cuddled by Fen, Mr. Snuggles?”

She manipulated the bear into nodding, smiling to herself at her antics. “That’s great, me too.”

“And here I thought I was the only guy that had been in your bed lately.”

Aelin let out a surprised shriek, throwing the animal at the intruder without a second thought. The attack was easily deflected with an arm wave and Mr. Snuggles fell to the ground with a soft thud. His large, tanned hand scooped him up and tossed him back on the bed, a predatory glint in his eyes and a pleased smirk affixed on his perfect face.

The embarrassment and anxiety coursing through made it feel like her stomach was in her throat, about to jump ship at any moment, and her lips pressed tighter together as though they could prevent it from happening. Women her age weren’t supposed to sleep with animals, much less talk to them, and now she’d been caught red-handed. How was it this man consistently had the worst timing?

Maybe if she closed her eyes and pretended he wasn’t there, he’d just poof into thin air, leaving her and Mr. Snuggles to their conversation. Squeezing them shut, she waited, listening intently for his departure, but in didn’t come. Fighting against her better judgement, Aelin kept her lids tightly shut, refusing to give him another ounce of her time.

Unreliable. Hot. Cold. Friend. Foe. The push and pull dance weighing down an already exhausted soul. It had been pretty clear last night where they stood and why he was here, she had no idea. The “why” bothered her more than his actual presence if she was being truthful. Nonetheless, she dug her heels in, refusing to inquire, refusing to acknowledge.

A gentle yet firm pressure forced her knees apart. Rough fabric skated across bared flesh, goosebumps raising in response. The bed dipped beneath new weight. The very distinct smell of Rowan wrapped around her.

“Aelin,” he said lowly but in a way meant to command attention.

Childishly, she turned her head to the right, eyes still screwed tightly shut. Her lungs were screaming in protest, fighting for her to release the breath she was unconsciously holding. A traitorous breath whooshed out, the subsequent inhale assaulting her senses again in pine and snow.

The bed dipped more right and the feeling of rough fabric became more pronounced as he shifted. Featherlight, the unmistakable feel of a calloused finger traced the bridge of her nose, across the light smattering of freckles decorating her high cheekbone, ending with a careful tuck of hair behind her ear.

Still, she didn’t move. He loosed a frustrated breath.

Fingers threaded throughout her hair, as though he’d done it a million times before, his thumb coming to rest just in front of her ear. “Ace, please,” he begged, just barely more than a whisper. The defeated tone wilted her fortitude. He sounded so desperate and while Aelin shouldn’t care, she did. He sounded like she felt.

“Why are you here?”

“I won’t tell you unless you look at me.” His thumb skittered across her cheek in a circle, a silent imploration meant to chase away the rest of her resolve.

“You’re not an any position to be making demands.”

“No, but I’ll get on my knees and beg if I must. It’s just five minutes of your time and I can leave when I’ve said what I needed to say.”

Rowan on his knees sent her brain sideways, as she allowed for a momentary glimpse of it under much different circumstances to play out in her mind. But as quick as it had appeared, she pushed it aside, returning her thoughts to the present.

His eyes were brilliantly green, every color of the Oakwald forest interwoven within their depths, but they stood out more than usual because the dark circles beneath his eyes. Rowan looked the roughest she’d ever seen him. Handsome, painstakingly so, but tired, sad, and something she couldn’t place. His silver hair, usually plaited and put up, was messily loose, like the day she’d seen it when he was cutting wood.

Dropping his hand from her face, he shifted, resuming likely what had been his initial position: a hand on either side of her shoulders, one leg resting against the bed between her knees. Unable to resist the urge, she raised her hand, gently brushing against his side to grab a piece of silver that had fallen forward. She swore he shivered but it had been such a quick response, it could have been entirely imagined.

Idly, she twirled the lock with her finger, waiting for him to divulge the reason for his forced presence.

“Lyria’s pregnant.”

A million and one reasons could have come out of his mouth, but Aelin would have never thought that’d be the one. The feeling you get from dropping great heights on amusement rides could not compare to how she felt in the moments following his admission.

Space. She needed space. Breaking out of his embrace, she was on her feet halfway across the bedroom before turning to face him. His eyes looked glassy, his proud shoulders rounded and sagging in defeat.

“How long have you known?” Aelin wasn’t sure why she asked. In her bones she already knew the answer.

“After I left here that morning. Lyria was waiting for me in the driveway of my house.”

Life was cruel. Or the gods were. Had she wronged the world so in her past life and was thusly being punished in this one? He had become a bright spot in her life and now, reduced to another pile of ash. Hiding her anger, she turned and stared into the empty fireplace, a too literal example of how it all felt.

“Say something.”

“What do you want me to say, Rowan? That I understand why you stopped answering my texts and made me feel like I wasn’t worth your time? That I understand you’re doing the best you can?” She clenched her fists and turned back to look at him, face red, lip quivering with emotion. “Because I don’t. I feel hurt and let down. Gods I’m so furious with you.” Her voice cracked and it only made her more mad at this entire situation.

“I’m sorry. I’ve spent weeks trying to decide how to tell you that I can’t be here for you like I promised. I want to be right here Aelin, and I just….,” he raked his hands through his hair, messing it further, “I have to be there for her and for my child. I won’t be someone who shirks their duty because it’s not convenient for me.”

“What about me?” she hated how small and pitiful she sounded. Selfish even. But she had to ask it. Where did she fall in this fucked up situation?

Somehow, in two strides, he had crossed the room and was holding her in a vice grip to his chest. “I won’t give you up.”

“You just said you can’t be here because you have to be there. I don’t understand.”

“It’s been hell, but I was respecting the boundary Lyria set as my girlfriend and mother of my child, but then last night, when I got a glimpse of how it felt to not have you at all… watching you crumple because of me, that’s worse than anything I’ve had to deal with since losing my parents."

Rowan’s strong arms held her tighter as he continued, “I can’t be here like I promised, like I want to, but I still want you in my life, Aelin. You’re my friend and you’re about to go through a very hard time. I won’t desert you when you need people on and by your side.” His assertion rumbled against her, putting to bed some of the crippling sadness he had descended on her only moments ago.

Ever a glutton for punishment, Aelin squirmed in his grasp, until her arms were free to wrap around him. She splayed her hands against his back, enjoying the feel of his strong muscles ripple beneath them. Rowan rested his cheek on the top of her head, neither ready to break the contented silence they found themselves in.

The pair stayed like that for some time before Rowan made to step back but was quickly stopped when the blonde let out a warning huff. His chuckled bounced her head albeit not in an uncomfortable way. “I was going to show you your surprise, but I guess not.”

Aelin tipped her head back to look at him, her eyes narrowed in suspicion.

“I think I’ve had all the surprise that I can handle for today,” she fired off, still looking up at him.

He smiled, one that reached his eyes, as he lightly thumped her nose. “You’ll like this one, Ace.”

“If it’s not a hazelnut chocolate cake from Emrhys’, I don’t want it.”

“Gods woman, it’s amazing you don’t weight 300 pounds with all the sweets you devour,” he teased.

“I have a great figure, thank you very much.”

“I’m not going to touch that statement with a ten-foot poll.”

“You sure?” she asked suggestively, giving him a once over with a raised brow.

“I’m leaving, see you downstairs,” he said hurriedly retreating for the door.

Not even waiting to see if he had left the room completely, Aelin chanced it and slipped her sleep cami over her head. A choking sound covered by a cough and subsequent slamming door let her know he’d seen something and that warmed her with satisfaction. If she couldn’t have him, at least she could bother him, and that would have to do for now.

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Tag list:

@theresyourfireandblood @backtobl4ck @leiawritesstories @morganofthewildfire @rowaelinismyotp @jorjy-jo @theresyourfireandblood @numbers-colors-fashion @swankii-art-teacher @whispers-in-the-darkest-heart @stardelia @astra-ad-mare

#rowaelin #rowan whitethorn #rowaelin au #throne of glass #rowan x aelin #songs about you #slow burn #bury me in angst #Lyria #fenrys moonbeam #dorian havilliard #Manon #rowaelin fanfiction #throne of glass fic #I like to be sad

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noemyreads · 9 months

Text

queen of shadows - sarah j mass

synopsis

everything celaena sardothien has ever loved has been taken from her. but at last the time of retribution has come. vengeance promises to be as harsh as the steel of orynth's sword—her father's sword. finally celaena returned to the empire; for justice, to rescue his kingdom and confront the shadows of the past.

the assassin is dead. she embraced the identity of Aelin galathynius, queen of terrasen. but before claiming the throne, she must fight. and she will fight. for her cousin, the general of the north... a warrior prepared to die for his liege; for his friend dorian, a prince trapped in an unimaginable prison; for her people, enslaved by a cruel king and awaiting the triumphant return of their leader; for your carranam and the release of magic.

in advancing her plan, however, aelin must watch out for old enemies. and open your heart to new and unlikely allies. all while the valg continue to work in the shadows. and manon blackbeak, the winged leader of the thirteen, trains her flying beasts. but it's from morath, the mountain stronghold of the duke of perrington, that a threat like no other promises to tear his band of rebels and his newly formed court apart.

my opinion

i finished this book with a mixture of warm in my heart and genuine dread, i liked that they finished this book relatively well and apparently they are finding each other, but i already imagine that what comes after that is total terror. I liked that the book serves two purposes, ending Celaena's story and starting Aelin's story, I have to admit, I love Celaena, I didn't want to have to say goodbye to her, but that's the way.

so far I don't swallow the fey very well, I find everything about them very strange, the author portrays them as animals, I feel a certain embarrassment when I have to read descriptions of these “male”, “female”, “male-smelling” people , I can't take it seriously. another thing that bothers me is the age of the characters, (this goes for most books of the genre), the characters are very young and have already lived through absurd things, I think it would be more realistic and present characters in their 20s.

“when you break the shackles of this world and forge the next, remember that art is as vital as food to a kingdom. without it, a kingdom is nothing and will be forgotten in time. I've already saved enough money in my crappy life that I don't need more, so you'll understand very well when I say that no matter where you establish your throne or how long it takes, I will come to you, bringing song and dance.”

I'm not a big fan of Rowan and Aelin as a couple, mainly due to their age difference, but I like how they both know their past and respect the history they had before they met, few couples have this maturity.

I was happy that by the end of the book, all the characters showed good development, - even the chaol who was driving me crazy. several things made me scream like a fool, SPOILER to aelin saving manon's life, keltain sacrificing himself and saving elide, manon helping dorian, dorian's friendship with aelin, all of these were parts of the book that definitely they tagged me. SPOILER

finally, aelin ashryver galathynius was home.

title: queen of shadows

author: sarah j mass

rate: 5

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goddess-aelin · 2 years

Text

Little Did I Know

Chapter 2- The Proposal

Masterlist

LDIK Masterlist

Word count: 2.5k

Warnings: language. Mention of death

Aelin didn’t want to talk to anyone. Frankly, she didn’t want to see anyone, either. Lysandra and Elide had come to visit her a few times in the days following the ball but Aelin knew she was acting cold and closed-off. Meeting your probable-future-betrothed could do that to someone when they had no say in the matter. Darrow, too, spoke with her a few times but only to inform her that the lords insisted they go full steam ahead with the arranged marriage to Prince Whitethorn

But Aelin was a princess first and a human second, never being allowed to show her dissatisfaction. Which is why she allowed Lysandra to do her hair and makeup into her usual style and why she put on her peach colored, knee-length dress. There was to be a tea party today and the entirety of her court and nobles from all over Terrasen were going to be in attendance. The official reason was for Terrasen’s national holiday celebrating the start of the new year. While many celebrated the new year at midnight, Terrasen royals chose to spend it with a full-day celebration of music, tea, and late night bonfires out in the cold Orynth weather. Unofficially, however, it was a chance for her and Prince Rowan to be seen together.

As far as Aelin knew, it was not official yet. She had signed no papers and had been told nothing about her official engagement to Prince Rowan. Yet the way Darrow talked, she knew a proposal was imminent. She wasn’t sure how Prince Rowan could propose, however, when they hadn’t been in the same room for more than a minute. She certainly wasn’t making it easy for him and for that she felt a certain amount of self satisfaction. If she was miserable, why shouldn’t he be, too? A small part of Aelin knew she wasn’t being fair. She was sure that he didn’t choose this just as she didn’t. But another, bigger and crueler part of her didn’t care. None of this was her fault. Darrow had told her she would have a choice and then just as quickly rescinded that offer and betrothed her to a stranger.

Aelin had ample time to think about how Prince Rowan might treat her. Would he try to belittle her rule as a woman? Would he be cruel and condescending? Would he force her into things she wasn’t ready for like bearing a child? Or would he be sweet and caring like he was at the ball? Her knight in shining armor, always protecting her from life’s struggles and dangers? In which case, should she be worried that he would meet an untimely death just like her parents? Aelin wasn’t sure which one scared her more. That was why it was easier to keep him at arm's length. It’s the same reason why her past relationships ended before they began. The men in her life were always asking for too much. Too many things that she could not give to them, her heart being one of them.

Aelin begrudgingly made her way down to the foyer of the palace. She would meet Darrow and Prince Rowan and from there, they would arrive at the party together. Aelin always enjoyed the celebration of the new year. Although she would rather attend something a bit more exciting, she enjoyed getting to spend time with her friends. She especially liked the bonfires at night, where anyone brave enough would dare to leap over the raging flames to bring luck in the new year. Aelin was always one of the first.

As she approached the two men awaiting her arrival, she took in the stern, albeit beautiful, face of Prince Rowan. Though his features were hard, there was something vulnerable behind his eyes as green met turquoise. Something inside her softened. The same something that told her he could be her friend, if she chose to take that step.

But the brief hope of friendship was slashed when he barely spared Aelin a glance. She knew he was probably hurt from her reaction the other day. The day she found out that the beautiful stranger she danced with was actually her betrothed. Aelin didn’t exactly blame him for acting cold toward her when she had done the exact same to him. So she decided to swallow her pride and offer an olive branch.

“Prince Rowan.” Aelin bowed her head a little.

His eyes gave her a cursory glance before he muttered a gruff, “Princess.”

Aelin had to stop herself from clenching her jaw. Though it had been ten years, her mother’s voice echoed in her head, telling her that she was not being very princess-like. So she held her head high and tried again.

“Thank you for accompanying me today.”

Rowan’s response was a simple dip of the head before he began walking away.

Fine. That’s how this was going to be then. Screw her mother’s voice. She wasn’t here and she never would be again. Aelin felt like clenching her jaw until her teeth broke.

She didn’t glance at Darrow as she followed Rowan toward the grand ballroom. The party itself would be held inside but as the night wound down, most guests would don their elegant furs and make their way outside.

Before entering the room, Darrow cleared his throat. “I know things are a little awkward at the moment, but we would like you two to show a unified front.” Aelin knew what that meant. He wanted them to hold hands, or at the very least escort each other inside. Since the prince was hesitating, Aelin bit the bullet and tucked her arm into his. Less intimate than intertwining their fingers. Less dangerous.

Rowan led her into the ballroom, where all heads turned toward them. Aelin could already hear the whispers from various guests who didn’t know that the Prince of Doranelle and Princess of Terrasen were an item. The joke was on them because up until a few days ago, Aelin didn’t know it either.

The party was a blur of introducing her escort, Prince Rowan Whitethorn, to various nobility. She didn’t know what else to call him. Her lover? Too familiar. Fiance? He certainly wasn’t quite yet. Betrothed? Calling him that would ruin the calculated ruse that this was a love match. The people of Terrasen did not need to know that this arrangement was, well… arranged.

For a brief moment, the two found themselves alone. “I don’t know about you, but I need a drink.” Aelin made her way to the refreshment table, which was, unfortunately, simply tea. Aelin poured two cups of the signature Terrasen Tea, brewed specially just for this event. She handed one saucer to the prince, hoping it would act as a sort of peace offering. Yet a grunt was all she got in thanks.

“Are you ever going to talk to me?” She half-whispered, half-hissed. She wouldn’t risk anyone overhearing, but the insolence was starting to get to her.

“Talk? Just like you talked to me when we officially met, Princess? I don’t recall you talking almost at all. Instead, you just ran away.”

Aelin took a deep breath to keep her temper under control. Now was not the time to have a heated argument and here was not the place. She took Prince Rowan’s hand and led him to the attached private gardens. To anyone else, she hoped it looked like two lovers stealing a moment for themselves. It was freezing cold but she thought maybe they needed that brisk, chilly air to cool their anger.

“I’m sorry, okay. I didn’t mean to offend you by walking away. I just…I was just taken by surprise when it was you.”

“Me? Am I that undesirable?”

Aelin let out a grunt of frustration. He was toying with her. “You know that’s not what I meant. If we’re going to air all of our grievances, how about the fact that you didn’t tell me who you were the night of the ball? How about the fact that you had been the best dance of the night, the only person who even looked at me with any ounce of respect, and you just…walked away. Just like that. Didn’t tell me who you were and instead let me see for myself the next day.” “I danced with you because I wanted to see if you were worth it.” Worth it?! Aelin let out a cold huff. “If I was ‘worth it?’ Wow, thanks so much.”

Rowan let out a frustrated hiss. “I just mean that if I was to enter this…agreement, I wasn’t going in blind.”

“So you just wanted to make sure I was attractive to you? Going in blind? I’m so glad you get that benefit while I’m sold like cattle to the highest bidder.”

“That’s not what I meant, either, and you know that.”

“Actually, I don’t know that. I don’t know you. I don’t know a single thing about you other than that you’re from Doranelle. So excuse me if I’m a little irritated about this whole, godsdamned situation.” Aelin heaved in a shaky breath. She would not cry. She. Would. Not. Cry.

“You think you’re the only one who was thrust into a shitty situation? Do you think I chose this? Because the joke’s on you, Princess. I sure as fuck did not. I’m a prince of Doranelle and because of that, I have a duty to do. My life, just like yours, was stolen from me. So do not talk to me like I have no idea what you’re going through.” Rowan’s chest was heaving by the time he was finished.

Aelin didn’t know what to say. She thought he had agreed to this. Darrow had told her he had agreed to this marriage. Aelin opened her mouth to say something but no words came. She couldn’t find them. And as time went on, Rowan’s face once again turned cold. The emotion from the past ten minutes vanished in a blink, the mask of Doranelle’s prince sliding back into place.

“Don’t worry, you don’t need to say anything, Princess. And don’t worry, I won’t be backing out of our deal. I can’t. The marriage contract is already signed on my part.” And with those parting words, Rowan turned his back on her and walked away.

The rest of the day passed in a blur. The prince was nowhere to be found and Aelin gave anyone who asked the excuse that he wasn’t feeling well. A weak excuse, but it worked, nonetheless. By the time dinner was over, Aelin excused herself from the festivities and made her way to her room. Before she made it to the stairs, she walked past Darrow’s office, noticing the light was on. Of course he wasn’t at the ball and was instead working. Her uncle-in-law was dedicated, she’d give him that.

As she knocked gently and pushed open the door, noticing Darrow hunched over a batch of papers on his desk. The official Terrasen seal on the top page allowed her to know instantly what the papers were for. As if sensing her hesitation, Darrow put his pen down and rounded the desk to hold Aelin’s hands in his own. “Aelin. My dear. You don’t need to do this. You can abdicate and all of this can be over. I see how unhappy you are with the situation and I’m telling you now that Terrasen will be ok. We will all be ok.”

A few tears fell as Aelin started shaking her head. “What kind of queen would I be if I quit before I even started? I cannot let Lord Hamel take the throne. I can’t do that, Darrow. Not because it’s what Uncle Orlon or my parents would want. But because I cannot. It’s not in my nature. It’s not in the way my parents raised me. And it’s not in the way you raised me, either. I’m doing this.”

Darrow nodded and pulled away from her, sweeping his hand toward the papers on his desk. “I’ll give you the rundown of the contract later but the basics are that we have a trade agreement with Doranelle in exchange for Prince Rowan’s place on the throne. You, of course, will be Queen but he will be considered King Consort and would take the throne fully if anything would ever happen to you before any heirs were born. All in all, you could do much, much worse than Prince Whitethorn.”

Aelin picked up her pen. “I know,” she whispered. And as she dotted her “i’s,” Aelin felt a new, heavier burden on her shoulders.

As she was falling asleep, Aelin’s last thought was that she didn’t even get to jump over any fires.

- - - - -

Aelin was awoken for the second day in a row by Lysandra. Breakfast was already on its way to her room and Lysandra had already picked a beautiful, flowy mint green dress for her to wear. Aelin was confused as to what was happening, her grogginess still lingering.

“Up! Get up, Aelin! Prince Rowan would like to take you for a walk in the gardens.”

Aelin froze. She was going to be sick. Because she knew exactly what a “walk in the garden” meant. She just didn’t think it would happen so soon after signing the marriage contract. Aelin didn’t say anything as Lysandra primped and prodded her, transforming her into the princess she should have felt like.

Aelin met Prince Rowan in the foyer again, taking his arm instinctually.

He leaned down a little and murmured to her, “Please at least try to look happy.”

If he could feel her trembling, he gave no indication.

As they entered the garden, Aelin could already see the paparazzi lined up, a perfect vantage point for what was about to happen. She hoped she didn’t look like a deer caught in headlights but wasn’t sure she was able to fully build her royal facade back up. She was nothing if not a great actress, though.

So as Rowan knelt on one knee before her, presenting her with an extravagant diamond ring, she plastered the most dazzling, princess-y smile she could manage onto her face. It was as if all of her dreams were coming true, a real-life fairytale. Except this wasn’t a fairytale and most of Aelin’s dreams were nightmares.

A/N: Yes, I did take Beltane and moved it to New Years Eve. Lol. This was a lot more angsty than anything I've ever written so I hope that came through. I don't want to make it easy for them but at the same time, I'm super impatient so I'm sure there won't be THAT much more angst.

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