#after both reveal themselves as being from the future to the town nobody has any clue what to do any more

[pyromaniac-cyndaquil]

Hello I am actually obsessed with the daytime future post (broken day AU? Like daybreak?). I adore light as vile in fiction because it's so different and fascinating. The dark hides horrors and plays on the fear of the unknown, the anxiety of knowing something could be after you. But daylight horror is in front of you, and you cannot hide from it. Violence and agony on full display. And of course the over abundance of a good thing becoming sickening, turning life into toxin.

Maybe the servants are Helioptiles/Heliolisks (they get Solar Power and are sun themed in general). If you want to replace Dusknoir, he could be a water type and that's part of how he rose in rank to be Dialga's personal servant. Inteleon could be interesting because of the spy motif, or Slowking for the intelligence, or a fully evolve water starter for the imposing vibes. Carracosta is a good option too.

OHHHHHH YOUR MIND, THIS IS EXCELLENT HELL YEAH

Light as a force that can be just as harsh and brutal as it can good is so underutilized and I agree, it's a super cool concept with a lot of potential for horror and cruelty!

Those are some super good ideas for the servants, intelleon and slowing are especially good 😭😭😭😭 I could see both being dialga's main servants - with slowking as the brain of their operations and intelleon as their (probably rather brutal) sniper and master of disguise.

I could see Intelleon heading back to the past to pose as an explorer in pretty much exactly the same way dusknoir does in canon - which then results in the very funny situation of having TWO separate renowned explorers in town giving completely contradictory stories while the townsfolk struggle to decide which to trust 😂

[heliads]

TW imagine being Lydia sister and meeting Theo out in the woods because of your power and you tell him everything about the pack.

i am assuming this is in response to your earlier request, which i posted a few days ago. if not it is now <3

part one / masterlist

And so, through great premonition and an utter lack of grief, Theo Raeken comes to stay in Beacon Hills. He chooses his battles carefully, always orchestrating from behind the scenes. He’s set himself up perfectly to take over this town; after seeing a thousand battles, both past and future, you can appreciate when someone makes as few mistakes as possible. Theo is one of these seeming masterminds.

You wondered, once, if there was anything you could do to change the future you saw. By telling Scott that he could trust Theo, you thought that would be as sure a sign as any that things would start to change. It would be fascinating to see that, wouldn’t it? Would your old drawings crumple up and burn without your knowledge, pictures of a world that no longer existed? Would they scrub themselves from your memory, leaving behind nothing but blank pages that not even time could touch?

In the end, you’ll never know. Perhaps time has written and rewritten itself a thousand times before, all without your knowledge. It stuns you for the first time how shaky a grasp you have on your visions. You thought that the only thing that could haunt you was their irregularity, how you couldn’t control when they came or what you saw.

This, though? This changes everything. For the first time, you rewrote history yourself. You put yourself into the picture by advising Scott on what to do, you lied to him about what to expect so he would go in blind. That wasn’t in any of your pictures, but maybe you should check again. You have no idea what’s real and what isn’t, and neither does anyone else.

Least of all Theo Raeken, supposed friend and prophesied villain. He’s supposed to be setting his sights on tearing out Scott’s throat, fully centered around the McCall pack the way that all past enemies have been. No one takes note of you unless they’re so blind that they miss the main characters in this story.

It might be Theo’s natural skill at blending into the shadows that makes him finally notice you. He wasn’t supposed to, you didn’t count on that. It should have been the two of you ducking around each other until this entire world burns down to ash, when the curtains blocking both of you liars from view finally unravel to threads forever.

Maybe he looked up while you were both pulling strings and saw you at last. It feels like he’d be the first in a while, certainly. You were in the vast darkness that comes with not being in the spotlight, and suddenly Theo spotted you in a way that no one ever had.

He suspects you, you’re certain of it. Guilty hearts call out to each other like searchlights, practically blinding in their blame. Theo is the only one who could possibly see all the secrets you’re hiding, because he’s the only other person who has half as many skeletons in his closet as you.

In the end, he takes things into his own hands and meets up with you, alone, where nobody else can see. He’s terrified that you’ll reveal him, or worse, you won’t reveal something he needs to know. Theo Raeken has always been a scavenger, forever searching for some way to get ahead. He’s used to finding needles in haystacks, the perfect weapon in a sea of nobodies. And, using these gifts, he finds you.

You stumble upon Theo in the middle of the Beacon Hills Preserve, just as requested. You’re not sure where he got your phone number, or how, but you knew it was him the moment he texted. Every player in your fables has a specific sound, an energy that you’d recognize from a brush of fingers against ink. Theo seems like Theo from an unknown number alone.

He’s leaning against the trunk of a massive oak tree, face half in shadow from the bobbing leaves. The darkness casts shapes upon his face, blocking out his eyes like a mask. He straightens up when he sees you, although you’re all but certain he must have known you were coming from the moment you parked your car on the outskirts of the forest and started making your way in.

You certainly saw the familiar spark of attentiveness in his eyes from yet another one of your visions. Your hands are still faintly bleeding from the force of a pen crushed against your palm, one more last minute confirmation that this is where you’re supposed to be. At this point, you want to see this story end.

It already ended a long time ago, if you think about it that way. By the time you think this, your future is set in stone. This moment is a distant past, the future no more than memories. This story has happened before, and it will happen again. There is nothing you, even the seer of prophecies, can do to change that. This story will conclude as it so wishes, and even your most courageous heroes cannot fight this.

Theo will try, though. The villains always try, and their fights are the worst of all. The heroes are allowed to stumble for a few moments before they right themselves, the universe likes to see them suffer before they prove themselves. The enemies, though? They were doomed to die even before they were born. They harbor their motivations, and no matter what they do, they’ll never win. They can fight tooth and nail for a promise they will never be able to keep. Tell me, does that sound fair to you?

Perhaps that’s why Theo seems so taken with you, he senses a sympathizer. Surely he’s aware of it, his imminent loss, he seems smarter than the rest. You want to reach out and shake him by the shoulders, tell him that no matter how many tricks he plays, he’ll always come up short.

Instead, you keep your distance. You rather like this story, and although you’ll be sad to see him go, you want to see every clash of forces between Theo’s soon-to-be pack and Scott’s friends. No matter the tragedy, everybody loves a good show. This one might be one of your favorites.

Theo steps forwards, out of the shadows and into the sun. “I hear you’re something of a seer.”

You incline your head once. “I’m a Martin.”

Theo’s eyes are curious. He’s still used to figuring things out, assuming that he’ll have a solution to every problem. “More than that, I think. You know, I was trying to figure things out about this town, and I thought it might be helpful to ask you a question or two.”

He hesitates, gauging if you’ll put up a fight. Instead, you just lift a shoulder. “Go ahead.”

The corner of Theo’s mouth twitches up, victory on the Raeken front. So damn used to getting what he wants, that’s why he’ll hit the ground so hard when he falls.

“I’m confused,” he says, drawing ever closer to you, “why is it that someone like you could have so many gifts, and yet no one listens? You issue out predictions and Scott and his friends ignore them.”

You fold your arms across your chest. “Everyone likes to believe in what they think is right. It’s no fun if you know your story before it even happens. At least by ignoring me Scott can pretend that he has a fighting chance.”

Theo nods slowly. “Right, because otherwise you’ll advise them on what to do. Like you told Scott that he could trust me. You know who I really am, don’t you?”

His gaze is sharp, flint and steel. You try to bury the sparks before your chest can catch ablaze.

“You are Theo Raeken,” you say decisively, “you’re a chimera from the Dread Doctors and you’re here to tear this town to pieces. You’ll kill Scott McCall or else make someone else do it. At the end of the day, you plan on getting what you want. Power.”

Theo almost seems pleased. “So you do know. Why wouldn’t you give me up to Scott? Or at least stay neutral?”

“You want Beacon Hills to be yours,” you repeat, “I say take the place away. How does that saying go, ‘a child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth?’ I want the whole town gone.”

Theo’s definitely smiling now. He’s just a few feet away, looking at you like you’re the answer to all of his prayers. “Can I tell you something? You already know it, probably, but I want you to hear it directly from me. I came here to make my perfect pack. The Nogitsune, the dark kitsune. The Martin sister who could see the future. I don’t want Lydia, Y/N. I want you.”

You exhale quietly, although not without a touch of humor. “You want a promise that I’m not going to expose you.”

Theo shakes his head. “You know how this entire plan goes down. I want you by my side when this happens. You’re worth more than you’ve let yourself think, believe me.”

This time you do laugh. “I believe that you’d say whatever you needed if it meant you could manipulate me. It’s what you do best, Theo. I have a firsthand account. You make people trust you so you can get what you need. It won’t work for everybody.”

Theo raises his chin. “No?” It’s not a threat, but he makes it sound like it could be one.

“No,” you say, “I’m going to do what I always do, which is to stay in the shadows and let the world pass by. This is my favorite source of entertainment, Theo. I’m not going to risk my ability to see what happens next just because you want some insurance.”

Theo laughs too, almost impressed. “Your entire home could be destroyed, and you want to see it happen. What happened to make you hate them so much? They cut you out of a family, I get that. They like to pretend that they’re better than that, though. You’ve really seen enough to make you wish they were dead?”

Your smile drops away. “I don’t wish any of them were dead. That’s the best part of seeing everything, Theo, I know who gets hurt. I can sit back and watch because I don’t have to fear for them. I am furious because I tried one too many times to get involved and they didn’t let me, and that’s when somebody died.”

Your voice is quiet, and you have to take a breath to calm yourself. “There was one time when I didn’t see a death coming. Allison Argent. I regret that one. I tried to tell Scott that an attack was coming, and he wouldn’t listen to a single detail. I begged and pleaded with everyone I could to let me help, and their refusal meant Allison died. If they don’t want my advice, fine. They’re never getting it again.”

Theo nods. “I’ll be sure to ask you things whenever I can, then. Just in case.”

You almost smile. “I know you will.”

You remain true to your word, and stay out of the whole Theo affair. You were a little curious to see how Scott would react when Theo finally betrayed him, if he’d run to you and ask why you lied. In reality, he barely connects the two events. This only cements what you’d thought earlier– Scott would never truly believe you. No one ever would.

Then again, there is one person who did. You’re there when the fight finally ends, when the bad guy finally makes his one mistake and the universe is able to swoop in and reset the scales. Theo’s fate is terrible, though, and you hated to see it even from the beginning.

When Kira first opens up the chasm to Hell, Theo looks terrified. It’s a strange expression on his normally calm face. And, when he asks for help, he shouts first to you. There’s nothing you can do, he knows that as do the rest, but he still looks to you. Maybe it’s because he knows you’re the only one here who would legitimately care if he went.

You do say one thing, though, before Theo falls forever. “I’ll see you soon.”

There’s a smile on his face before he goes. Theo is the first person to ever believe you, and he does now. He knows he’s getting out, and all because you said it. It is a refreshing thing, to be trusted. It’s a shame that it’s only happening now. You could have done so much together. Then again, you still have time. You know that better than anyone.

teen wolf tag list: @thatfangirl42, @rogueanschel, @lovesanimals0000, @rafecameronswhore, @bellabadacadabra, @watchreadfangirlrepeat

[shima-draws]

Aww yeahhh time for Kiyo to make his entrance!

I wrote an entire essay about him (again whoops) so it’s very long and under the cut for your viewing pleasure ;)

Kiyo

Age: 29

Hair color: Green

Eye color: Brown

Element: Stars

Kiyo, the Guildmaster of the Asterstone Guild! He only took up the position recently and has had the Guildmaster title for about a year and a half. He was the previous record holder for youngest Guildmaster until that title was stolen by Taku. (Kiyo holds a grudge about it but it’s playful.) 

Kiyo, just like lots of other characters in ATS, was taken in by the Asterstone Guild at a young age. He’s similar to Shima in that he has no previous memories before showing up outside the guild one day, battered and bruised. (That marks three characters in this series with amnesia now! Wrow) He grew up under the watchful eye and tutelage of the previous Guildmaster, and because of how attached to him she’d gotten, it wasn’t long before he began to express desires to take over the guild once she retired. After a lot of thought and contemplation she eventually handed over the position to him. This initially resulted in a lot of outrage from the guild members because they did not think Kiyo was suited to be the Guildmaster, but he eventually proved them wrong once he stepped up to the plate and showed them he could act like a true leader!

They did have good reason to be nervous about that, though, as Kiyo is normally a very laid-back and carefree person and is strictly non-violent. This has lead into lots of situations where he’s opted out of fighting, leading his guildmates into lots of trouble when they needed a hand, and they labeled him as both a coward for avoiding necessary battles on missions (which is practically a requirement for a guild member going out on dangerous quests, you sort of have to have a battle prowess to take on any foes) and lazy for not participating when he should. Initially this bothered Kiyo a great deal, but the previous guildmaster assured him that not everybody is suited for battling others, and that he can still pave his own way to success in a non-violent manner. While Kiyo may not have a liking for fighting, he has an extremely smooth tongue and is very capable of talking himself out of sticky situations (mostly by bribing. He is VERY good at that lmao). He has a talent for manipulating others into doing what he wants them to, though he rarely uses this on people he considers friends. When Kiyo’s able to complete a mission and win the day without resorting to using their elemental powers in a fight, his guild members have to stop and think for a second like. Hold on. He just did that so easily, he made it look so simple, we really need to stop underestimating him and calling him totally useless (Kiyo: Hey. HEY).

Kiyo’s pretty close to all of his guildmates despite their constant ribbing—the one person he’s close to that adores him completely is Lacie, because he was the person to bring her into the guild (she was around 10, he was 17), and being the first person to genuinely show her kindness that wasn’t for ulterior motives, Lacie became very attached to him. Kiyo acts like an older brother to her, and Lacie supports him in whatever he does. She was thrilled when he took on the Guildmaster position, and he has a very soft spot for her :’) She always sings his praises to anybody outside who will listen, and gets angry at Emrys the one time he called Kiyo incompetent.

After becoming the guildmaster, Kiyo actually does a good job at taking charge despite the general opinions that he wouldn’t. He’s still very casual about it though and is a bit more flexible with how the guild is run, preferring to let the guild members do things their own way and be less strict about the overall rules. He’s basically got the “Do whatever you want!” and “Just wing it!” outlook, and while a lot of the members don’t like this attitude, a lot of them do. At the end of the day they all do respect him, though! While he isn’t a fighter he’s very good at giving orders and keeping things in check around Asterstone lol

Despite Kiyo’s insistence on staying out of battles, he’s actually an extremely skilled fighter, and is probably the strongest and most dangerous person in the entire guild. The issue with this, though, is that whenever he gets into a fight, he tends to get too “serious” and starts going off the walls, treating the battle as a game and something fun and entertaining. This leads into him not knowing when to stop, and nobody else being able to stop him, so he’s seriously injured other people without meaning to—revealing that he’s actually terrified of violence because he loses himself in it, and why he prefers to stay on the sidelines. It’s only when Kiyo gets really serious in battles that a darker side comes out, and where the star mark in his eye appears. It’s only been seen a few rare times throughout his life at the guild, so nobody really thinks much of it or notices it. It’s only after the star mark appears that Kiyo passes out afterwards, having exerted a lot of power and extremely skilled battle prowess nobody has ever seen before. However, after a grand guild tournament where Kiyo faces off against Taku and gets too into it, revealing his star mark and almost slicing Taku’s head clean off, one of Kiyo’s advisors at the guild starts to look into it out of concern for both Kiyo’s safety and that of others.

In the middle of all this mess, Kiyo meets Toru, and after nearly forcing him to join Asterstone, the two start growing closer 👀 Toru joins the squad of not putting up with Kiyo’s bullshit, but that’s only after he gets over his starstruck fanboy phase. Because Toru is newer to the guild and because he’s a non-elemental not suited for fighting, Kiyo instantly becomes attached to him, finding similarities in their preferences and backgrounds. While Toru does think Kiyo’s an idiot sometimes he treats him very kindly, and is usually the first to defend him when the other members playfully tease him, so Kiyo’s just like you are an angel sent from heaven just for me and I adore you. Still though with Toru being a non-elemental Kiyo stresses about his safety CONSTANTLY, even after Toru gets official training in self defense. If Toru’s in danger Kiyo will blow off literally everything else to go rescue him first, which the other members have to get used to as it happens more often than they’d like akdasbmlads

Later down the line the guild is caught up in something terrible, and find themselves being targeted by a descendant of a great inventor and sorcerer (not Elymas this time tho lol). She’s apparently seeking what’s known as the Velle Nova, and has reason to believe Asterstone is in possession of it. After Kiyo’s forced to fight and unleashes the power behind his star mark, the descendant reveals that Kiyo has the Velle Nova, and then the truth finally comes out…

Kiyo remembers everything about his past. Years ago, his town had been caught up in a great disaster, and he was the only survivor. He was forcibly taken in by several scientists, one of them being the ancestor of the girl descendant. They were attempting to recreate the Velle Nova, one of the great sorcerer Elymas’ inventions, which is said to grant any sort of wish imaginable. They wanted to claim that power for themselves and possess the powers of the universe itself. However every attempt had failed, and without the real Velle Nova they couldn’t achieve what they were after. So they decided to pour all of their research into Kiyo instead, and try to create the weapon inside of a human being. This ended up making a twisted, broken version of what should have been the Velle Nova. But Kiyo couldn’t contain its power—it was going to unravel the universe itself and either destroy everything or alter it tragically into something unimaginable. One of the scientists working with the group realized how awful their experiment was and, being a Time elemental, decided to erase Kiyo’s memories (with some help) and send him centuries into the future so that the rest of the group couldn’t get their hands on him. Hence Kiyo winding up outside of Asterstone with no memories, and the truth behind his star mark. It had been granting Kiyo his wish the whole time—the longing to protect the things he cares about by being able to defeat any threat in his way. Of course with the unstable power that he can’t control, it usually leads into disaster;;

Kiyo, now having recovered his memories, realizes that the same thing is going to happen again, and decides to seal himself off to protect Asterstone and the world before the universe unravels. Cue an epic PMD-esque goodbye scene where he bids farewell to Toru, gives him his trademark scarf, and vanishes, escaping into a dimension between time and space where his power can be contained. *Starts playing I Don’t Want To Say Goodbye*

Toru, absolutely devastated by Kiyo’s farewell, decides he’s going to break time and space to save his man, except there’s one small issue...nobody else remembers that Kiyo even existed, and Toru only managed to by some miracle (and also maybe bc Kiyo handed him his scarf idk some magic soul connection thing). But after a while...a long while, maybe like a year or more...they finally unlock the key to finding Kiyo!!

Toru and Kiyo share a tearful reunion, and Kiyo cries a lot because it had been so lonely sitting in that black hole all by himself for so long. Toru begs Kiyo to come back, and suggests that Kiyo separate himself from the Vella Nova in order to live a normal life, but Kiyo informs him that he and the Vella Nova...are the same. They’re the same combined entity! Kiyo says that if he tries to unfuse, he’ll just end up destroying himself, because there’s nothing to separate, being one singular existence. So Toru points out uh hey since you’re the same thing, don’t you get a say on how your power is used? “It’s your power, Kiyo” yes we’re referencing Tododeku here we go

Kiyo’s like hmm uh yeah I guess you have a point;; so we went through all that for nothing huh. And Toru tells him you’re a fucking moron and Kiyo’s like ahh yes but you loved this moron enough to come rescue him from the void ;) And they kinda sorta confess but not really? Kiyo’s too nervous and Toru’s too distracted trying to figure out how to get them out of there but no worries they sort it out later. Kiyo tells him that hey I’m still dangerous and I could lose control at any given moment and Toru’s just like well I guess we’ll just have to stop you and bring you back to yourself. So with the knowledge that he’s got a whole guild of awesome people backing him up and a boy who broke the laws of the universe to save his ass, Kiyo and Toru escape the rift and finally return home together 💕 And that’s pretty much how their arc ends!

Extra personality traits

-He has a really short attention span so this makes things painfully hard on mission briefings, which leads to Kiyo usually screwing up the mission one way or another

-He often charges ahead without thinking and is the first one to become a target in a bad situation. Nobody really feels bad for him though because most of the time it’s his fault for walking right into it LMAO

-He can be very childish sometimes and most of the time he does it on purpose. His guildmates complain that their leader is a whiny, immature brat

-He is an expert on how to annoy people do not test him oh my god

-He can be incredibly selfish;; He’s gotten better with it during recent years, but he got scorned for it a lot when he was younger. He’s also very emotional, and you can read what he’s thinking like an open book! When his friends can’t read him that’s when they start getting worried.

-He has no experience in romance whatsoever and it’s the one (1) thing that can get him flustered. Nobody at the guild has ever seen Kiyo get mildly embarrassed or caught off guard, so they begin to think it’s impossible to make him blush. Then Toru shows up and ruins everything lmao

-He has a great sense of humor and can always make others laugh! He’s also very mischievous and sometimes plays pranks on other members of his guild.

-He’s very stubborn when he wants something and not in a good way. He also pouts a lot when he gets like this

-He loves his guild and his guild members man :'( If any of them are ever in any real danger he's quick to offer himself up first as a target. He's protective of his friends and will do anything to keep them safe!

-A very very affectionate person. He mostly shows this through physical acts like hugging and generally touching other people. In return he also craves affection and gets very soft when it’s given back to him. I’d probably say he’s a little touch starved despite being in close contact with others all the time lol

[bluerosesburnblue]

I hope you don't mind this ask, but... Any theories / speculations about the most recent story update for KHUX?

Oh, I don’t mind at all! I’m glad you asked, actually, because I’ve had some thoughts, though not many new theories of my own, unfortunately. That being said, I can definitely go over how some of my old theories and some of the fandom’s hold up and my thoughts on a few of the new theories I’ve seen floating around

One thing that I’m consistently proud of is how my old guesses about Darkness’s true nature just keep ending up almost right barring some slight details. I made the claim back when Re:Mind first came out that Darkness could be a hive mind of entities that plant bits of themselves in others, and then refined that back in July of 2020 by likening it to a parasite that worms its way into people’s hearts and incorporates itself into them to control them. This past update confirmed that the Darkness we’re fighting is one part of the hive mind that wormed its way into Ven to force him to act out, and that by doing so it detached itself from that hive mind and became incorporated into Ven’s being (which Ven can then shape). So I gotta say I’m pretty pleased about that part

All that’s left to be seen from the July post is if Darkness has a connection to Verum Rex/Quadratum, but I doubt that that will be touched on by the KHUx finale. Though I will say that it’s pretty interesting that the Master of Masters tells Darkness about “a world [he] can’t even conceive,” which seems like it could easily be referring to Quadratum, which also means that Darkness knows about it

That’s pretty much all I have to say on the Ventus/Darkness/Vanitas connection, but there’s still more to cover in this update

One thing that I’ve been trying to figure out is who the cloaked figure right at the start of the update is, Luxu or the MoM. Measuring the sizes and my old guess based on the KH3 Secret Reports both say Luxu, but this brings into question “when,” exactly, the True Dandelion scene takes place as it doesn’t have the dark haze around the edges that they give flashbacks, but is clearly the real-world set of pods as they’re not destroyed AND it’s missing the pod that Maleficent already used. The True Dandelion scene has a lot to unpack, but this scene at the start does make me wonder if Luxu and/or the Master have a way in and out of the datascape that doesn’t involve the pods, otherwise the numbers don’t add up

Also related to the post of mine I just linked is the idea that the Black Box is the datascape. I believe that this might still hold true. It’s interesting to note that they show the scene from Back Cover where Luxu is given the box in the first place just prior to the reveal that using the lifeboats to escape starts the process to seal it off and have the real Daybreak Town fall to darkness, and the Master’s “hint” to Luxu involves this very process. Why would Luxu be forbidden to open the box? Quite possibly because it contains the infected datascape meant to seal off the vast majority of the Darkness hive mind. And several Dandelions. It is both the “hope” mentioned in KH3 through those Dandelions, as well as a trap to keep Darkness out of being able to interfere for quite a long time

Now, the questions that I’m sure are on everyone’s minds are “who is the True Dandelion,” and “who are the ones who use the lifeboats?” Let’s start with the True Dandelion, as there’s far less moving pieces involved in that one

I won’t take credit for coming up with any of these options, I’m just going to discuss the logistics of them. So the candidates for the True Dandelion in, what is in my opinion, the least likely option to the most likely option, are:

Kairi: I’ve seen this one floating around and... honestly don’t believe it at all due to the sheer amount of logical contortions that you have to do to make it work. To wit:

Where the hell would she even come from if it was Kairi? As can be clearly seen with Ven, is stated to be true with Subject X, and is implied to be true of Lauriam/Elrena, those who travel to the future using the pods will regenerate their bodies at the age they were when they used the pods. Which would make Kairi at the oldest a four-year-old. Four years prior to KHUx was when Brain was told that he was a Union Leader. So she either would have been just born immediately prior to the war and was just... stolen or something? And we never saw? Or just after the war, where she would probably have to be the child of a Dandelion that got teen pregnant because they’re supposed to be both kids and the only survivors? Or Luxu and Ava’s kid somehow? Like, what? The timeline is just insane with that

If she was born before the war... you would assume that the True Dandelion would be, you know, a Dandelion. Which would mean that Ava handed a Keyblade to and recruited a literal toddler. This would also retcon Aqua being the one to accidentally pass the ability to wield a Keyblade down to Kairi and I refuse to make theories predicated on “the author will retcon this.” You just open up a huge can of worms doing that

The body wrapped in white looked a hell of a lot bigger than a four-year-old to me

I am sick to death of “this character was secretly from the Age of Fairytales~” being employed by the narrative. It’s happened at least three times already (four if you count Luxu). Enough already

Ventus: Ven has some hints, though some notable contradictions to it being him

On the one had, the sheet that the True Dandelion is wrapped in is extremely similar to the one that Xehanort wrapped him in when planning to leave him on Destiny Islands in BBS and there’s a possibility that Xehanort may have found him in that very sheet if he regenerated wearing it

On the other hand: Ventus might not have even been a Dandelion in the first place (he definitely wasn’t a Union Leader, but I don’t know if it was ever said whether he was selected as a regular Dandelion or not), and there’s the timing of the scene that I mentioned above. It’s definitely after Maleficent used her lifeboat but before anyone else used theirs (when you would expect Ven to remain with his friends) and, since the scene doesn’t have the flashback effect, it’s implied to be happening concurrently with everything else, so Ven should still be fighting Darkness in the datascape while it’s happening and eliminating him from being this particular person

Strelitzia: Oh, boy, have we got some nice old hints to Strelitzia, but still a few logical contortions, just like Ven

The white sheet is coming back up again. Namely, the fact that we still have an unexplained scene where Strelitzia appears to Lauriam in a dream wrapped in a white cloak, though it’s of a different style than the one that the True Dandelion is in. That scene also featured flower petals being blown into the wind, much like a dandelion seed (though, notably, the petals that are blown aren’t Dandelion seeds)

The question is, yet again, one of timing. How would Luxu get her body? While she was only introduced in KHUx, her scenes are all flashbacks to before the war, so we know that she was struck down in the real world, not the datascape. We see her body dissolve into light and her heart be released. Now, technically you only need a heart to time travel (actually, a heart is the only thing that can time travel), but Luxu is clearly seen putting a body into the machine. A machine that only allows for time travel because it destroys the body. If he had her heart, he wouldn’t need to use the lifeboat because she’s already in a state to time-travel on her own and this eliminates the possibility of him putting her Nobody into the machine, because without a heart it would just evaporate her body leaving... absolutely no heart to go to the future with

Now, Luxu theoretically could have grabbed her heart. We know that he was hanging around Daybreak Town at the time while observing thanks to his fight with Ava, but Strelitzia is struck down just after the fight with Ava starts so it’s very likely that Luxu was too preoccupied to retrieve her heart before it was gone. Speaking of Luxu’s fight with Ava...

Ava is my current top pick for the True Dandelion candidate due to the sheer number of questions it answers and how few it raises

Ever since KH3 came out, the question of “where the heck is Ava?” has been buzzing around as a major mystery. Her last chronological point of appearance is the same as the other Foretellers: the Keyblade War itself, where she’s shown leading her Union to battle. Notably, she seems resigned to her part in this, and this is the first and only time we see her after her battle with Luxu where he reveals to her the Master’s true plans. Melody of Memory seems to imply that the other Foretellers managed to skip to the future by going to another world, Quadratum (or at least this is the most likely explanation as there’s not enough pods to send all four of the other Foretellers AND the characters that we know end up in the future to their destination). However, Ava isn’t with them and Luxu knows what happened to her

It would be easy to write this off as them trying to drop Ava from the narrative or her not being important, but her chess piece is included in the “Eraqus and Xehanort foreshadow the next saga” chess game on the far right of the board and Nomura confirms that they represent the Master’s six apprentices, i.e. the five Foretellers + Luxu. So, Ava is necessary in the upcoming saga and yet, she didn’t get to the future the same way as any of the Master’s other apprentices leaving her open to get there via a lifeboat

Ava is the very founder of the Dandelions, who all of the others look up to and defer to and was spoken of heavily in the scene just prior to the True Dandelion reveal. That’s grounds for being called the True Dandelion if I’ve ever seen one

Luxu would very easily be able to ensure that Ava would be able to make it to the future. Just like with the Master of Masters, he already has the memories necessary for her to use to regenerate a body, and either her Keyblade or her mask would make for effective mediums that wouldn’t be too difficult for Luxu to take. If he put her in the white cloth, he probably took her mask off already

Ava hasn’t been around for the events of KHUx, so there’s no timeline discrepancies if it’s her

So, now that we have an idea of who the True Dandelion could be, let’s talk about the rest of the lifeboats and how they might fit together. For the purposes of this discussion, let’s assume that the True Dandelion can’t be one of the Union Leaders and that their battle with Darkness is taking place at the same time as Luxu is sending off the True Dandelion. I’ll be referencing an old theory of mine, while making additions now that it’s clear that there’s two sets of lifeboats: the Data Set and the Real Set

Right now, there’s an equal number of Real Pods and Data Pods: 5 each. For the Data Pods, of the seven that we started with, one was used by Maleficent and one was damaged in the battle between Maleficent and Lauriam. As for the Real Pods, one has been used by Maleficent, and one has been used by the True Dandelion. This leaves us with five each.

We can narrow this down further by eliminating people that we know end up in the future. These are:

Ventus

Subject X, who is most likely Skuld based on her description

Lauriam

Elrena* (of note with Elrena is that we actually have no idea where the hell she is at the moment or how she’s going to get into the pods. Furthermore, while every other lifeboat user sans Maleficent has been shown to have amnesia upon waking and Lauriam/Marluxia directly indicates as such applies to him, too, in KH3, Elrena/Larxene’s KH3 scene and character file short story both indicate that she recalls Lauriam and possibly Strelitzia, though she also seems surprised at the idea that she’s part of an ancient Keyblade legacy. I won’t deny that there’s a possibility that she doesn’t use a lifeboat and ends up in the future by other means based on the discrepancies)

So with three confirmed cases, we’re left with one ambiguous case in Elrena and three more possible candidates: Ephemer, Brain, and Player. Four people, and two pods

I want to make it clear that despite what I brought up against Elrena, I do think that she’ll be using one of the lifeboats if only so that KHUx has narrative consistency. They introduced Elrena, they made her part of the investigation on Strelitzia’s whereabouts, so it only makes sense that they need to show us where she ended up for a satisfying conclusion. So let’s slot Elrena in for one of the lifeboats. That leaves one between Player, Ephemer, and Brain

My best guess is that Player won’t be using a lifeboat at all. Not only are they a create-a-character that would be a HUGE pain to try and incorporate into future entries in the series without making a “canon” version and thus ruining their appeal as an avatar, but we haven’t seen or heard mention of them at all in the games set in the present-day. There’s zero indication that they made it, which makes them the most easily eliminated as a lifeboat user

That leaves Ephemer and Brain, and I still believe that Ephemer will be the final lifeboat user, and for the same reasons as stated in the theory I linked at the start of this section. Not only does Brain have the same facial sprite as Eraqus, but he wields the Master’s Defender which will be later passed down to Eraqus and I believe that this eliminates him as a time traveler, despite the fandom’s popular opinion that it confirms it

Because I don’t believe that Brain is Eraqus’s grandfather, but rather his distant ancestor who inherited the No Name and passed down both Keyblades through the ages

So let’s resolve some plot threads taking everything I’ve stated and linked to above into account

My Big Guess for the KHUx Finale

Ventus will use the fact that Darkness is tied to his heart now to give it a physical, but still mostly amorphous form that he, the Union Leaders, and Player can finally take down. Darkness will be sealed inside Ven’s heart, where it will lie dormant until he reaches the future. Eventually, Xehanort will extract it in the form of Vanitas and it will follow Vanitas’s life cycle, ending in him being reabsorbed into Ven at the end of BBS. Darkness, now back in Ven’s heart, will make brief contact with Sora during the events of Re:Mind

Lauriam, upon learning that the world will be sealed with the use of the lifeboats, will attempt to rescue his partner, Elrena. Both will take lifeboats out of the datascape and into the future, whereupon they will be recruited into Organization XIII by Luxu’s current incarnation, Xigbar, likely to keep an eye on them. I believe there might be a squabble among Ephemer, Skuld, Brain, and Player among who will use the final lifeboats (each person nominating others besides themselves), but ultimately they will settle on Ephemer and Skuld

Skuld will wind up amnesiac in the future Radiant Garden and is discovered by Ansem the Wise and his apprentices and dubbed Subject X. She becomes Xehanort’s favorite test subject due to the similarities in their amnesia and possibly some lingering memories that he has that don’t quite belong to him (KHDR Xehanort certainly seems to want to meet his “old friends” very badly)

Ephemer’s heart will wind up in the Keyblade Graveyard as I mentioned in an old theory, unable to manifest a body due to the lack of a medium present. Through this state of being just a heart (and possibly related to those old talks about him being “unchained”), he will be able to enact the Light of the Past moment from KH3, and may very well be revived for future events in the series

This leaves Brain and Player behind in the datascape. However, you may remember one detail that I brought up, but neglected to fully expand on until now. There is a difference between the Data Pods and the Real Pods. While all of the Real Pods have been used up at the time of my proposed sequence of events, the Data Pods have not been. One was never used, only damaged. This leaves open the possibility that it can also be repaired (Also, I’m just gonna say it. Player’s met someone recently who has a magic hammer that can repair anything... might not come back but also totally could). Brain and Player could then repair the final pod and, in a callback to when Player was sent to Game Central Station, have them both agree once again that Player is the more expendable person in the scenario. Brain will take the repaired pod, leaving no way out of the datascape for anyone else, while Player stays behind to be sealed away for the time being (this could also be a callback to the original KHx, where Player also stayed behind to take part in the war instead of fleeing with the Dandelions, as they refused to leave their party behind)

When Brain escapes, however, he will be met with a Daybreak Town with no Real Pods left, as Luxu used one on the True Dandelion. Now that the seven pods have all been used up and the real Daybreak Town is falling to darkness, Luxu will take a corridor out as the Master instructed, but bring the newly appeared Brain along with him (either that or Brain emerges after Daybreak Town falls, either is possible) and bequeaths the No Name onto him. Brain, stranded in the past while all of his friends have been sent to the future, will be Luxu’s new apprentice and rebuild the fallen Daybreak Town as Scala ad Caelum, then pass down both of his Keyblades: Master’s Defender to his biological descendants, and No Name to his apprentices

As for the Master of Masters? I think he’s already taken an eighth lifeboat (you’ll note that there’s space right in the center of the cluster where one more could theoretically fit) and had done so before the start of the original KHx. He’ll be revived at some point in Xehanort’s young adult life to goad him into his insane plans as seen in Re:Mind, then duck into Quadratum to hang out until the next arc in the franchise, as hinted at with his appearance in the KH3 Secret Movie

(He is most definitely not Sora. He’s clearly bound to the same rules of time travel as everyone else which means that Sora couldn’t go back in time to become him as that would be long before the point in time where Sora was born and that breaks KH time travel rules. Not to mention that the Master talks about Quadratum in this update like he’s never seen it before until it came up in the No Name’s range of vision. Sora is literally in Quadratum right now, he’d definitely know what it was already if he was the Master)

And I do believe that should cover everyone’s whereabouts by the end of the game and into the next arc of Kingdom Hearts with minimal plot holes

This is just my best guess, putting together details that I’ve been accumulating for the past year and a half or so into what sounds like a coherent sequence of events that bridge the gap between KHUx and KH3 and beyond. There may be some details I get wrong, obviously. Nomura has been known to be... unpredictable. But I think, based on the evidence we have at hand, that this is the most logical series of events to end the game on and I’m really interested to see how close this gets to the actual finale we see

[mydisasteracademia]

SFW Alphabet: Izuku Midoriya

Aaaaand here’s everyone’s favorite green bean! Look at my baby, all grown up and ready to destroy people. (wipes away tear)

(Both of y’all are around 16 here. Don’t worry, nothing horrible here! Just two dorks in love.)

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

He’s incredibly affectionate to you. He’s definitely more of a verbal affirmation kind of guy (and if you identify as female he’s gonna be horribly flustered if you try to hug him). He always talks to you and encourages you, and his smile is just adorable.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Your friendship likely started when he was on a trip into town and he noticed you needed some help carrying a couple of boxes. The two of you hit it off right away (especially due to the fact that you were wearing an All Might shirt). As your best friend, he’s incredibly chatty and smiley. He loves hanging out with you and just talking about things. When you first showed him your Quirk, he was so starstruck that you both spent an entire lunch just talking about it. He’s so sweet it’s hard not to get along with him.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

He’s so shy with physical affection it’s hard to cuddle with him without him fainting. Usually he only cuddles with you when he’s half-asleep and unaware of what he’s doing, and only then he pulls you to his side and all but curls himself around you.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

He can cook a little bit, and he can clean fairly well. At the moment, he doesn’t want to settle down. He wants to become a pro hero first. Judging by his commitment to the grind, the day he gets married and has a family may never come.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

It would kill him, but he’d set you down and gently explain why you can’t be together anymore. He would keep any and all tears at bay until he’s alone, and then he spends a night training and crying, trying to get your hurt expression out of his mind.

F = Fiancé(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

He’s very reluctant to commit. He’s still just a teenager, after all, and he’s got a whole career as a hero ahead of him. He doesn’t want to get married because he doesn’t want his loved ones in danger; he already keeps his mom fairly out of the loop just because he doesn’t want Shigaraki going after her.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

He’s definitely a little more gentle with you in both ways. He really cares for you and doesn’t want to hurt you, especially while you’re a civilian. This can be a bit of a double-edged sword at times, but he more than makes up for it.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Having grown up with a really affectionate mom, Izuku likes hugs. He can’t help but get horribly flustered every time you hug him, but he does love them. He’s not going to initiate it, but he hugs back tight enough so that you can’t be separated. Sometimes when he’s sleepy he’ll wander around and hug you, hiding his face in your neck as he mumbles something about his mother. It’s really cute.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

It would take a lot for him to realize he caught feelings for you. Like, a lot. This boy is so oblivious it’s likely he’d never actually say it. It would take you telling him for him to start thinking about it, and even then it would be a while before he admits it back.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

He can get fairly jealous, but depending on who it is he’s not going to act on it. Usually it comes about that he gets insecure about your relationship and is worried that you’ll find someone better than him. If he gets a seriously bad vibe about the person you’re with, he'll go up to you and try to walk you away.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

If you kiss him right on the mouth, he’s going to pass out. If you kiss him on the cheek, he gets red as a tomato and starts stuttering. It can be irritating sometimes. He does like it, though; he’s just so shy he doesn’t initiate. Sometimes he’ll kiss your forehead absentmindedly.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

He’s pretty good around little kids. He’s got a way about him that gets their attention. It’s so adorable seeing him interact with kids like Kota and Eri due to how obviously starstruck they are.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Whoa now, both of you are still first-years. I don’t imagine ever sleeping at the same place (unless he needs a place to crash at in the future). Going ahead a few years, when he’s already a pro, it’s likely he’d get up way before you, cook breakfast for you, eat, and leave -- leaving a note saying that he thanks you for your hospitality and he’s sorry to impose. What a gentleman.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Again, going into the future when he’s a pro, the only way he’s staying the night at your place is if something happens and he needs to stay. He’s incredibly apologetic as he thanks you for letting him stay. He retires to the guest bed when you retire to your room, and he’s out like a light.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

He doesn’t reveal anything about OFA, of course, but sometimes he’ll give you tidbits about his life. He tends to be a bit more hesitant about his past, but he has lots of stories about the present that he likes to share.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

He can be very patient, especially when it comes to his friends. It takes a fair bit to set him off. Usually it’s when he sees an injustice that his friendly smile drops and he gets serious. Or when Bakugo is being horribly rude again, though that’s more of a rarity these days.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He documents everything he can about you. Sometimes this accidentally creeps into stalking territory, but he’s usually good about realizing that and backing off. He tries to remember everything you tell him about yourself because of how close you are.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

His favorite moment? He has a lot that he considers his ‘favorites’. Picking just one, though, he fondly remembers the first time you told him you loved him -- he was in the hospital after a bad run-in with a villain, and you visited him with flowers and tears, demanding that he not be so reckless because you loved him. It really got him thinking about your relationship and kicked off his realization that he loved you back.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

He’s incredibly protective of those he cares about, and you are definitely not an exception. He’s so protective he would rather pull a Nana Shimura than let you get hurt because of him, so you’ll have to do a lot of scolding to get him to stay put.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

He puts his all into stuff between you two. Gifts for every date, he remembers every anniversary (and gives you presents for that too), occasionally brings you your favorite snack whenever he sees you -- there’s a reason he jotted down everything he knows about you.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Like I said before, he’s so self-sacrificing that he would pull a Nana before ever letting you get targeted. It can be infuriating when he avoids you for a while due to this, and while he is incredibly apologetic it’s the first thing his mind goes to. His mumbling can be a bit irritating if you don’t have the patience for it. He can be a bit of a stalker towards certain people until they realize and tell him to quit. He’s so dedicated to being a hero that it’s often all he thinks about.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

He can be concerned, but only when he looks at his scars. Sometimes he can be fairly self-conscious about how scarred his body is, especially when he gets depressed and anxious.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Honestly? At first, but he would push it down in time. He loves you so much that he would rather you not have to associate with him if it meant you were safe, and no matter how much that hurts, he would do it. It doesn’t mean he wouldn’t keep an eye on you from afar, but eventually he would be able to push the pain down and go about his duties.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Gets incredibly clingy when he’s half-awake. So much so that Bakugo is the only one who’s used to it the first time it happens in the dorms (and surprisingly doesn’t make a fuss). Whenever there’s a major exam, there’s at least one night where Izuku passes out on someone and will not stop clinging to them. Usually it’s Uraraka or Iida, much to the former’s excitement/embarrassment.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Nothing villainous. Nobody rude, or abusive, or manipulative. He’s had enough abuse from his peers, and now that he’s got a healthy friend group, he’s not going to tolerate that from even a s/o. Especially not anyone who’s against the hero world. As much as he has his doubts, he’s not going to go out with a villain.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Fairly regular sleeping pattern, given that he’s only a student. He goes to bed kinda late, but wakes up early to work out.

[geekywritings]

Rise of a Queen - Nikolai Lantsov x OC PART 7

When they set out the next day, there was something different between them. Something neither of them could quite place. But their gazes met more frequently and Taya couldn't remember the last time she had felt so right in someone's presence.

But they had no time to focus on this newfound bond that had developed. Finding the others was their first priority and so for two days, they continued their journey east. But no sign of Alina was found and nobody had seen any large groups including Grisha coming through.

"We should head back to the capital and gather a search party to cover more ground.", Nikolai announced when they stopped to take a rest by a stream. The mountains were towering in the background and he doubted the group would have gotten this far to Dva Stolba without being seen.

"I think you are right.", Taya agreed, currently washing her hands by the stream. They had traveled for almost two weeks, but it felt as if they had been gone but a day. So the thought of returning was a strange one. Especially since life wouldn't be the same in the palace. Her family was at the Spinning Wheel with Os Alta being too dangerous at this point. But they had to go back and make sure reparations were underway and order was still upheld. No, not they, just Nikolai. He was the future Tsar now and he needed to show presence and strength.

Without stopping at every village for information, they covered ground much more quickly, only taking short breaks for the horses or to sleep during the night. Taya expected them to be back in a heartbeat until an event just a two-day ride from the capital changed everything.

The two of them were resting by a stream, finishing their last bread and reminiscing about their childhood pranks, while the horses were drinking. Taya was resting against Nikolai, who leaned into her weight, enjoying having her near. It was a perfect moment that was ruined by the sound of gunfire.

They spun around and found themselves facing a group of seven gruff men, all of them holding pistols. The one in front had fired a warning shot to get their attention and prove they were not fooling around.

"Up on your legs and hands up in the air.", he announced and slowly Nikolai and Taya complied. It was too late for Nikolai to reach for his own pistol at this point, so it was safer to go along.

"If you came to rob us, you are a day too late. We spent our last coin in the last village.", she spoke calmly. The group however just laughed at him.

"People so finely dressed surely have something of value.", one of them shouted.

"Look in our saddlebags and take what you need.", Nikolai continued, vaguely gesturing in the direction of their horses. "You will find nothing but provisions and spare clothes."

The tall man at the front nodded and two of his comrades went to raid the bags, taking everything they could find and turn into coins. But, just as Nikolai had said, there was no money left.

"Take off your coats too.", the leader continued and Nikolai and Taya exchanged a look before taking them off and throwing them towards the men.

"We will take your horses too... But we won't just leave you behind without anything. A nice bullet in your head will sort out your problem of being stuck here." Now, this was getting too much. As two moved towards the animals and the leader stepped forward to grab the coats, Taya sprung into action. She lowered her hands slightly and a mighty gust of wind sent the men flying. Although shocked, they jumped back to their feet, cursing about Grisha, but another attack knocked them right back down again.

Again they struggled to their feet and Taya realized that she had made a mistake by sending them flying in different directions. Now she had to watch two sides. She spread her arms and unleashed two gusts of winds, but suddenly the sound of gunfire echoed again. She had missed one. A second and a third shot could be heard and suddenly she found herself sinking to her knees. Pain shot through her side and shoulder and as she placed her hand over the spot, she felt the wetness. Blood, she realized. More gunshots could be heard and she turned towards Nikolai, worried for his safety. But he had been the one to fire apparently, taking down one man after the next, as some of them started to flee with their little loot.

Just a second later he was by her side, checking her injuries. "Does it hurt?"

She wanted to say something smart or funny. Like walking in heeled shoes or needlework being much more painful, but she couldn't. Because the truth was, Taya had never felt pain like this. It was burning and draining and it came in uncomfortable waves that threatened to have her lose consciousness. She was having a hard time registering what was happening around her. Nikolai had grabbed their coats, trying to use them to bandage her up at least a little.

"Taya, listen to me." She turned to look at him to show she had heard. "You have to get up on one of the horses. It will hurt, but we need to get you to the next town as soon as possible." He was so collected, even though she could still hear the worry in his tone. "Can you do that?" She nodded feebly.

It only worked with his help and he made sure to climb on the saddle behind her, after tying his horse's reigns to her saddle. Holding her tightly, he pushed the horse into a gallop. From then on, everything was a blur for Taya.

He kept pushing the poor animal harder and harder, not knowing how far they would have to ride. One of the bullets had lodged into her shoulder from what he had seen at first glance, but he wasn't so sure about the one that got her side. There had been too much blood to tell. But that fact that she was still awake and talking to him was a good sign. Still, he didn't want to take any chances. He had bandaged her up as tightly as possible and tried to apply pressure as he held her on the horse, but he could feel her going lip in his arms.

"Stay awake, Taya!", he called to her. "You have to stay awake!"

Out of all the dangers he had anticipated, bandits so close to the capital had not been on his list. He hated himself for having been careless, but who could have seen it coming? And without Taya's intervention, they could have been dead.

Finally, a town appeared over the next hill, and relief washed over Nikolai. Taya was fighting to keep her eyes open from what he could see, but she had not passed out yet. By the time he stopped the horse, she was barely conscious, however, practically falling into his arms from the saddle.

"I need a doctor. Right now.", Nikolai called to the first people who came looking and they were fast to react. A man allowed them into his home, where he could put Taya down on a simple bed. The man's wife arrived a second later with water and bandages.

"My son is the doctor here. He will come as quickly as possible.", she announced, before taking a look at their two strange guests. Taya's side was covered with blood, much of which had stained Nikolai's clothing as well during the ride.

"Let me guess, bandits?"

Nikolai nodded, stepping away to allow the woman to work. She peeled away the coat and narrowed her eyes. "Sergej, go and tell Pavel that he needs to bring something against the pain as well." The husband nodded and left the room. Although the woman had pronounced her son as the doctor, she seemed to know what she was doing,

"Can you sit up girl?", she asked and even though Taya barely seemed to hear her, she tried to move. Not that she got very far without Nikolai helping. He should not be there, while the woman undressed her, but he couldn't leave either. Besides, there was so much blood, he could hardly focus on anything else.

The woman, who introduced herself as Maria, began to clean the blood, getting a better look at the damage. "She was lucky. The bullet just grazed her side.", she announced. "But she has lost a lot of blood."

"But she will live, right?" That was the most important thing on his mind.

Maria thought for a moment. "Yes, I think she will. My son is a good doctor and it won't be the first wound of this kind he will be treating."

As if on cue the door slammed open, revealing a lanky man with round spectacles on a nose that seemed strangely large for his thin face. "Is it another one?", he just asked, as he moved to Taya's side.

_________________

Two hours later, she was all bandaged up and asleep with the help of some medicine. Nikolai thanked both Pavel and Maria, as the three sat down around the table. As it turned out, the bandits had been causing problems for a while now, regularly attacking travelers, as well as farmers. Pavel was constantly working, while Maria kept her husband at home and away from their fields in the fear of losing him.

"Is there any way I can send word to the capital?", Nikolai asked Maria.

"And what will they do? They have been attacked by the Darkling, as far as we have heard and the royal family has fled.", Pavel complained.

"Tell me how I can send a letter as fast as possible and I promise you that I will handle your bandit problem.", Nikolai insisted.

Two incredulous faces stared back at him. For a moment, he weighed his options before announcing: "I know it may be hard to believe, but I am Nikolai Lantsov. And I vow to you, as prince of Ravka, that I will deal with the problems you are facing."

If their eyes went any wider, they would pop out of their heads, he thought, but slowly the first surprise settled and Pavel seemed to study him more closely. "You do look like him...I was in the capital when he returned and saw him ride in", he said eventually. "And there were rumors that the second prince liked to dress like a commoner."

It sounded so offensive when spoken like that, but Nikolai had no time for this. "You must believe me."

And they did, helping him to devise a letter to his generals, asking for soldiers and one of his aircrafts. By the next morning, both arrived. The little ship was being piloted by the two Squaller twins that had helped the surviving Grisha get to the Spinning Wheel after Nikolai and Taya had found them. Both had volunteered to return and help relief efforts around the capital and seemed particularly proud to encounter Nikolai again.

"I have an important task for you. I need you to get Taya back to the palace and into good medical care. Have her be moved into my chambers and looked after until I return.", he instructed and both boys grinned widely and saluted.

"You are not coming with me?", her voice sounded weak behind him and he turned instantly. Two steps and he was kneeling by her side, taking her hand. "I have a few things I need to deal with here first."

"You will be a good Tsar one day, Nikolai.", she whispered. "A great one even."

Coming from her, it was a true compliment. But he hardly had time to think that far ahead at this point.

"And we have to thank those nice people appropriately.", she reminded him. "They didn't need to help us, but they still did." Nikolai nodded and promised her he would take care of everything and that she just needed to rest now. And then, he watched as the twins carefully carried her away and set off towards the palace. He, meanwhile, had some bandits to hunt with his men.

_______

Although Nikolai had expected to be finished within a day, it took a while longer to find and deal with all the spread-out hiding spots. The seven men that had attacked them had been but a small part of a much larger group, which acted all around the area. And Nikolai and his soldiers didn't stop until they were sure to have gotten the very last one of them. He could not have his people live in constant fear of being robbed and shot on the road.

With the task finished, he made sure to return to Maria and her family first to give her proper thanks and assure her that her husband would be in no danger on his fields anymore. He also promised that whenever the family needed something, they would be welcomed at the palace. He owed Taya's life to them and he would not forget it.

"Moi Tsarevitch", Maria began and Nikolai hated how strange it felt to hear his title. "You kept your word. You watch out for your people. I will pray for your reign to be long and peaceful once you wear the crown."

Next to her Pavel nodded and handed him a small bottle. "I assume the doctors at the palace have many more resources than me, but please take this. It is a pain medicine I have created myself. It works great and has considerably less severe side effects."

Nikolai took it with gratitude. "Tell your lady to rest for a few weeks. Her bandages should be changed frequently and she should not move her arm too much." , the young doctor added.

"She will not be happy to hear it, but I will make sure to let her know."

________

Back in the palace, Taya had indeed spent most of her time sleeping. The doctors gave her strong tinctures against the pain that made her drowsy and dizzy and at night she would always be given a few drops of a sleeping potion in her tea to sleep through the night.

On the sixth day, she was feeling a little better. Her side had been bandaged tightly and only her shoulder still caused her problems when she moved it. The doctors had wanted to give her more of the medicine to stop her from fidgeting, but she had refused. She was sick of sleeping all the time.

A knock on the door came and she let out a sigh. "I will still not take the medicine.", she called, stubborn and irritated. "So unless you have the book I asked for hours ago, don't come in."

"I don't have a book and I will insist on you taking some medicine, but seeing as it's my room, I'm coming in regardless."

The door opened, revealing Nikolai. He was still in the uniform his soldiers had brought him, looking disheveled from the journey.

"You are back!", Taya's entire face lit up and she wanted to open her arms to welcome him, but stopped herself just in time to avoid some serious pain. "Did you take care of the bastards?"

He nodded and moved to sit by her side on his bed. Seeing her awake and moving let relief wash over him. His silent prayers had been answered. "How are you feeling?"

"Drugged.", she said honestly. "The doctors here really don't hold back with the medicine... And I'm bored. I asked for a book hours ago, but they just told me I should sleep."

He let out a deep sigh followed by a chuckle. "I will make sure to scold them appropriately."

"Please do."

"And I will get that book you so desire, Lady Saadovska."

"I expect nothing less."

He could continue that little banter, but instead grabbed the hand of her uninjured side and brought it to his lips. "I thought you'd die... During the ride to the village...", he revealed in a whisper, letting go of the fear he had carried inside of him over the last few days.

She was touched by his concern. Touched by the fact that he seemed to care so much. "I can't die on my first adventure. That would be too tragic a story." She moved the hand he was holding, cupping his cheek and feeling him lean into it and place his hand on top of hers.

"I should have protected you."

"They ambushed us. And we were outnumbered."

"But you still dealt with them."

"No, you did. I got shot, remember?"

"But if you hadn't used your powers, they would have shot us both."

This was something Taya didn't even want to think about. The mere thought of possibly losing Nikolai, have him die close to her, was too painful.

"I don't want to talk about that possibility.", she told him honestly.

Moments of silence passed until Taya said: "You should go and take a bath."

"You want to get rid of me already?"

"No, I just want a clean you next to me in bed."

It was the perfect opening for so many smart remarks, but instead, Nikolai leaned forward, his forehead pressing against hers for a moment. "I won't be long."

___________

Getting into bed next to her was different this time. First of all, it was his bed, in his room. And secondly, the whole palace was probably already talking. The mere fact that he had asked her to be placed in his bedroom had most likely caused the first little scandal.

She seemed to read his mind again as she said: "They are probably wondering if I'm your mistress." There was humor in her voice, but Nikolai asked himself if she really was taking it as lightly as she pretended.

"Do you want me to set things straight?", he asked, cautiously.

"I don't think anyone can stop the gossip wheel once it starts turning. I just hope my mother does not find out." She could handle servants and other nobles talking, but her mother would be a real problem. If Lady Saadovska had her way, she would probably lock her daughter up in one of their countryside estates for 'ruining her reputation' like that. Family honor meant everything to her.

Nikolai too was well aware of the rules at court. A family's name could rise and fall through the actions of daughters, who were not careful. "Then maybe I should just announce that we are engaged."

Her head turned abruptly and she ignored the jolt of pain that rushed through her. She studied his features and then slowly lowered her head. "Don't do this."

"What do you mean?", he asked, honestly confused.

"Make political decisions about that." Marriage was mostly political in her world, but hearing him suggest engagement just to drown the rumors hurt almost as much as her injuries.

"Why not? It would help you."

"No, it would not!", she snapped, blue eyes turning dangerously stormy. "I don't want you to say it because it's a strategic move! I want you to say it only when you mean it!"

He should probably say something, but he couldn't somehow. Besides, Taya wasn't finished.

"I hate how you can be so nonchalant about this. I hate how you can flirt so easily with me and I hate how you constantly manage to charm yourself into my heart, while I never know if you are serious or not." She was just letting it all out now, unable to hold it in, triggered by that light statement of his. "During those last few days, I thought it was real... But now... I don't want this if I'm the only one with feelings involved. It would be too painful. I don't give a damn about my reputation and I'd rather live with constant gossip than in a fake engagement."

"You have feelings for me?" That was the only thing that really stuck with him after everything.

"Yes. No... That's not the point."

He leaned closer to her, cupping her hand with his. "It is for me.", he said. "I thought you'd still only see me as the boy you played with as a child, the friend you are helping to get the crown."

"Nikolai..."

"I wasn't flirting for fun.", he continued. "Maybe sometimes, but the gestures and everything else was real. Do you know how often I had the chance to get separate beds during our search? I always picked the option where we would have to share because I liked having you close. You give me a sense of peace and comfort and hope. With you there, I was sure we would find the others."

The storm in her eyes was starting to settle, being taken over by a vast sea of emotions.

"When I saw that man shoot you, I lost my mind. I wanted them all dead. And when I saw you bleeding, I feared I lost you and I couldn't stand the thought of it." Again he moved closer, leaning his forehead against hers. "But I could never imagine you having feelings for me. I abandoned you, I dragged you into danger and..."

She pressed her lips against his, shutting him up. It was a clumsy kiss and he could still taste remnants of medicine on her lips. But it was her kissing him and his mind went beautifully blank. When he felt her pull away, he placed his hand behind her head and drew her back in. His kiss wasn't as gentle as hers. He had wanted to feel her lips for longer than he was ready to admit and now that he had the chance, he wasn't ready to give it up. If he could, he would have embraced her, wanting to feel her body pressed against his, but not wanting to hurt her, he settled on just the delicious feeling of her soft lips on his.

When the kiss broke, their faces remained close.

"I did not see that coming.", he revealed with an elated grin.

"I didn't want to hear that nonsense from you."

"If this is your way of stopping me, I will never cease to speak nonsense."

She bumped her forehead against his as a response.

"I can't believe this was my first kiss. You didn't even buy me flowers.", she said overdramatically.

"That could still be rectified."

"And you never wrote me any love poems."

"Trust me, you wouldn't want that."

"What about love ballads beneath my window?"

"I don't think the people within earshot would approve."

"Now you are teasing me."

"And you are not kissing me to shut me up."

Again their lips met, soft, tender and light this time, more playful than anything else.

"Do you really want me to court you?", Nikolai asked, just to be sure.

"I wantyou to prove that this is real and I'm not getting lost in a dream."

"I will do that. Every day from now on.", he promised. "But now I must insist that you take your medicine and rest." With a groan, she agreed.

____

@imma-too-many-fandoms​

[excusemewhileiplaykh]

Why was Roxas born in Twilight Town?

For the most part, Nobodies are born at the place that their original selves (their “Somebodies”) died and turned into Heartless. There are, of course, exceptions to this rule. For instance, Roxas was not born in Hollow Bastion, but instead spawned in Twilight Town, presumably at the Old Mansion (Here’s a video of the moment in KH2 where Xemnas finds Roxas and gives him his name).

So what gives? Why would Roxas end up here and not Hollow Bastion?

I suppose one of the most obvious answers is the fact that Twilight Town seems to be a special den for Nobodies. That may be because the world lies between the Realms of Light and Dark (hence why it is also in perpetual twilight). Moreover, it seems Roxas is a special type of Nobody.

I mean, yeah, duh. He’s SORA’S Nobody. You know, the main character? Of course, he’s special.

Well yeah, but there’s something else that seems to make Roxas unique among Nobodies. I’m sure we all remember that moment in KH 2 where Roxas first goes to the Old Mansion chasing after a Dusk and it says this to him:

“My liege” is very strange, very particular wording. “My liege” is a medieval term used by vassals (or soldiers) to refer to their superiors (like generals, captains, etc.). Similarly, kings have “lieges” who control their soldiers.

So was Roxas born in Twilight Town because he has special command of Nobodies?

Probably not. In fact, the Dusks probably refer to all the humanoid Nobodies as “My Liege” as the Organization members control the lesser Nobodies and we know for a fact that the other Organization members weren’t born in Twilight Town (at least not the Radiant Garden ones). Moreover, Xemnas is portrayed as the King of Nobodies (just look at his armor in his No Heart phase from the KH2 final boss fight), thus all the other Organization members would naturally be his lieges.

So that theory is out… So what now?

Well, there may be something else that might explain Roxas’ birthplace… but it’s pretty out there.

So I mentioned before that Roxas seems to have specifically been born at the entrance of the Old Mansion, a place that’s extremely strange on its own. For instance, one of the most mysterious things about the Old Mansion (besides, ya know, the unicorn imagery that makes it seem like the mansion is connected to Ira, the white room, why there’s a computer room there that can monitor a virtual reality just like the computer room currently in KHUX, etc.) are the pods.

Sure, Sora, Donald, and Goofy’s pods aren’t so suspicious; we kinda understand why they’re there (kinda), but then there’s extra pods (we can see 8 pods in total, including Sora, Donald, and Goofy’s).

It also seems as if there are more pods beyond the initial opening. Also they were supposedly used before, but by who?

Well, let’s go back to the weird connections the Mansion seems to have with KHUX… Like I already mentioned, the computer room in Daybreak Town has become a big story element. Much like how DiZ used the TT computer room to monitor Roxas in the virtual Twilight Town, the Dandelions are able to view data worlds (as in those based of the Book of Prophecies which are also worlds we play through in other KH games such as BBS, Days, KH 1, etc.). 

Moreover, we know that at some point the Dandelions (as well as Elrena and Demyx and Luxord when they were human) end up in the future or in the Worldline from the other games ; Luxu implies the Dandelions hoped Worldlines in KH3 Secret Report 11. 

(Interesting how Luxu mentions Maleficent, “a certain lady of magic”, may know about this whole Worldline business. This suggests that Maleficent may have appeared in the KHUX timeline through Worldline hopping).

The strange similarities between the two computer rooms makes me suspect that the Dandelions’ time travel may have involved the TT computer in some fashion. I also would like to suggest that they used the pods to wipe their memories so they wouldn’t remember Daybreak Town and possible cause some kind of complications for themselves. This is very speculative, but again, keep in mind all of the unicorn imagery in the Old Mansion and how Nomura loves to use visual imagery to foreshadow what will happen later on in the story (Think the X’s on all the characters that was later revealed in DDD to have been used by Xehanort to track all the heroes).

So what does this have to do with Roxas?

Well keep in mind that while Roxas was made from Sora, he was also made from Ventus. The Birth by Sleep Ultimania clears this up:

(source)

The way Nomura talks about all of this makes it seem as if Roxas was equally made from Sora and Ventus’ heart (perhaps even more frm Ventus’ heart because of his appearance). The fact that Roxas was made from two people isn’t too farfetched either, considering Naminé was also made from two people, Sora and Kairi (actually, her blonde hair kinda makes it seem as if she may have also been made from Ventus…). Ansem’s Secret Reports from KH 2 clarifies this, too:

(source)

Ok so let’s go back: what does this all have to do with Roxas being born in Twilight Town?

Well, I would suggest that the reason Roxas is born in Twilight Town is because Ventus’ heart first appeared in the main Worldline (as in the one we are most familiar with from KH 1, KH 2, BBS, etc.) in the Old Mansion when the Dandelions plus Demyx, Elrena, and Luxord somehow used a connection between both computers to move through Worldlines. Actually, let’s remember that there are 8 visible pods. The 5 Dandelions plus Demyx, Elrena, and Luxord makes 8… 

Additionally, if we accept that Naminé was also made from Ventus’ heart, her birth in Castle Oblivion can also be partially demystified. Remember that Ventus’ body resided in Castle Oblivion, thus if Naminé was connected to Ventus, it would make sense (or at least make sense in KH terms… ) for her body to have formed there because of this connection.

Again, I want to reiterate that this is all speculative and there is no definitive proof that any of this is true, but the knowledge we have so far seem to suggest that this is a strong possibility. I suppose this we all be confirmed or unconfirmed once KHUX wraps up its story. We’ll just have to wait and see.

[jackdawyt]

Dragon Age: Inquisition is one of my favourite games of all time. I love everything about this game, from the compelling hero’s journey, to the roster of lovable characters, to making the Inquisitor my very own unique protagonist. Few games compare to the experiences and tremendous moments that Inquisition provides, not to mention the Trespasser DLC which revealed the true intention of the game’s villain, and paved the story forward for future titles.  

I think it’s rather telling how good this game is, considering we’re still talking about it nearly 6 years later after launch, discovering new theories and mysterious hidden deep within the lore. Heck, if Dragon Age: Inquisition was a mediocre experience, I don’t think I’d have a YouTube channel today with thousands of recurring views weekly talking about the game, and where the story is going to go since the events of Inquisition.  

However, there is something critical that I feel is necessary to discuss regarding Dragon Age Inquisition’s original marketing demos and the expectations they set for the finished game.  

Following up to the launch of Dragon Age: Inquisition, I used to obsessively re-watch the first original gameplay demo shown at Pax Prime 2013. At the time the game was in its pre-alpha build, however, there were many impressive features and dynamics showing just a glimpse of what we’d come to expect once we got our hands on the game.  

In retrospect, these promises were scrapped before the finished project released.

This post is not meant to be a negative outlook, poking holes at BioWare’s effort, but an investigation and critique into BioWare’s game design, more specifically, the cuts the developers made tackling Inquisition’s complicated release, and how they’ve learned since.  

For the uninitiated, Dragon Age: Inquisition released in November, 2014, a month after the next generation of consoles launched. As the game was jammed in-between two gaming generations, it was designed to ship on both the previous generation of consoles (Xbox 360/PS3) and the current generation (XB1/PS4).

In order for the game to predominantly run on the lower spec consoles, many gameplay cuts, downgrades and setbacks were made to the final project.  

I’m not talking about conceptual ideas in pre-production that were drafted for the game, like The Architect making a cameo appearance in a “Here Lies The Abyss” alternative twist, or the Hero of Ferelden, Hawke and The Inquisitor meeting up in a potential drafted prologue. Of course, there were plenty of ideas, concepts and story threads that were canned and reworked because the developers had better, and frankly more relevant plans for the game.

I’m talking about actual features and mechanics that were incorporated and designed into the vertical slice demo that was shown off to the fans at Pax Prime 2013, and then were removed later on just before launch.

I would like to point out that the gameplay I’m going to show was alpha footage, and the developers made sure we all understood that it could easily change, nobody lied to us. If anything, BioWare were so eager to show off the next Dragon Age game, that perhaps this was the biggest detriment to the project.

I’ll have the full Pax gameplay demo linked for those who want to watch it fully. But without further ado, I’m going to be revealing the Dragon Age: Inquisition we almost got.  

Cut Content:  

The demo starts with a significant cut, originally Dragon Age: Inquisition would’ve featured stunning party member cutscenes when entering new areas for the first time.  We see Varric, Cassandra and Vivienne discussing how prepared they are since the Inquisition formed. Varric banters that he’s outnumbered by the ladies once again.  

We can assume that these dynamic banter cutscenes based on your party members were replaced with Scout Harding’s area report.  

The models and textures for the characters and armours look very different too. Cassandra has a more angled facial structure, like her original concept art. And, the Inquisitor’s armour and textures don’t even exist in the final game, I remember attempting to recreate this look, a thousand times over, however, no fabrics in the game have this orange texture.

Helmets also appear in conversations, which is a huge pet peeve of mine, I’m still upset to this day that we can’t see helmets in conversations and there’s no mod to fix it. However, they added this feature in Mass Effect: Andromeda, so maybe we’ll see it in the future.  

In general, this demo showed that there was going to be a lot more cutscenes when entering new areas, in party banter, and for minor conversations with smaller characters.  

Upon inspecting the gameplay, we can see the camera’s placement was significantly adjusted. The demo had a third-person feel, whereas the game ended up with a pulled back camera, probably to suite the tactical camera for combat. Fortunately, there are mods that actually fix this issue.  

The UI has evolved since the demo, there used to be a Skyrim-esqe navigation compass that was replaced with a radar. And the party member icons are different, but that’s just nit-picking.  

The combat is more or less the same, however, it does seem more reactive and heftier in the demo. Most likely because the camera is more zoomed into the action. There are some tweaks though, the enemies react more to the Inquisitor’s attacks, the stumble, flail and even run away, as opposed to just taking the damage and then attacking you back.  

However, minor these cuts may seem to you; they did change the game a fair amount adding more immersion to the overall experience.  

Even so, the most obvious and upsetting cut when watching this demo regards the entirety of Crestwood, the area has been dramatically reduced in the final game.  

In this demo, the Inquisitor is given a conflict. One of the Inquisition’s soldiers asks the player how does the Inquisitor want to handle their armies' movements throughout the area.  

The Inquisitor could send the Inquisition army to save the town of Crestwood.  

They could lead the soldiers to tend to the nearby wounded.

Or they could bolster every solider to the Keep, leaving both the wounded and the town of Crestwood.  

Each choice had a consequence, and both Mike Laidlaw and Mark Darrah spoke on having multiple ways to approach the situation. For instance, in the demo’s scenario the Inquisitor decides to leave the town while it’s under siege, instead, they find a secret entrance towards the Keep. Using Antivan Fire, they burn the invaders’ boats which would prevent them from escaping after their attack. The Inquisition take the Keep, and head back to the ransacked town filled with newly fresh corpses. A dynamic cutscene of Varric mourning the dead plays out, adding emotional impact and weight to the decision the Inquisitor just made.  

And this was just a side questline...

The demo ends with the developers reiterated the tactical and dynamic approaches when showing the Inquisition taking over the Keep at The Western Approach.  

According to Mark Darrah, you could weaken enemy defences by doing things like drawing out the troops or poisoning their wells.  

Then, once you claimed the keep for yourself, you’d get a quest called ‘This Water Tastes Funny’, in which your Keep's well was poisoned and you’d have to go find fresh water.

The Keep’s themselves were originally designed to have a lot more influence and reactivity throughout the world. Once captured, the Inquisitor could choose a dynamic choice for the Keep’s overall goal, if you had enough Inquisition agents. 

The Keep could be specialised based on the Inquisition’s advisors. You could choose to run your Keep as a Military outpost, boosting fortifications. It could be a Keep of espionage and secrets, for information gathering, or you could make it a Keep of connections and merchants for diplomatic purposes. Each different speciality had a different advantage and aesthetic to suit its purpose.  

Adding more choices and roleplaying values for making the Inquisition your own army, having a say in what aspects it should grow in.  

That sums up the majority of the cuts made since this demo. I will say it’s unfortunate seeing these unfinished features that shaped the game in a completely different direction, that inevitably couldn’t make it into the finished project.  

But I think it’s wrong to pin the blame of this cut content on anyone because the developers were tackling a console generation shift, and they wanted everyone to have the opportunity to play the game without having to get a new console. Can you really blame them for that?  

Perhaps many of these features may be designed into a future title since the developers wanted them so much in Inquisition? And speaking of the future title, at least the next Dragon Age game won’t be coming out in between a console generation, it is being designed strictly for next-gen, so there shouldn't be any console setbacks and limitations.  

Even still, when Dragon Age 4 does eventually get a gameplay reveal, don’t set your expectations in stone based on that reveal. The finished project will look very different. These days gameplay previews aren’t always accurate, and that’s just a dilemma of the entire games industry, not just EA and BioWare.  

Wrapping up on a positive note, BioWare have learned from this experience, and they’re approaching Dragon Age 4 with a “show, don’t tell” strategy. They will be proceeding with caution when marketing and revealing the next Dragon Age game, and that may play a part in why we haven't and won't see anything official for a while.  

I don’t think I could end on a better note then the Narrative Director, John Epler’s message about Inquisition’s development. John said: “A good 90% of 'bad' decisions are, in fact, the best decision at the time. Game dev is all about making the best decision you can at the time, with the resources you have. A lot of stuff you thought was weird or awkward came down to a gut call of 'this is the best I can make this and I trust it's good enough'. Sometimes we're right, sometimes not.”

BioWare decided to make these cuts to Inquisition because they realised it was the right thing to do for the entire project, perhaps they felt they couldn’t deliver these features to their full capacity, or they wanted a change of direction. They believe these decisions were made for the greater good of the game, and I commend them for that.  

Dragon Age Inquisition is an incredible RPG with tons of personality, that not many games can even mimic. Although the game had some minor setbacks with the fair amount of content that was cut, the game is just as amazing without those initial features.  

Like I said, perhaps we’ll see these mechanics in the next game, if not, then at least it has been a learning experience for BioWare, that they can utilise for the development of Dragon Age 4.  

In any regard, let me know your thoughts down below on this gameplay demo relating to the finished game, and don’t forget to check out my latest news update!

[cori-writes-fanfic]

I have a lot of Thoughts after the reveal of the new Dark Road kids, and most of it isn’t directly about the kids themselves and more kind of crazy predictions about how the story will go.  (This may be a little bit of a jumbled mess as I try to organize my thoughts, so…bear with me.)

So we know that:

We don’t really see any of the Dark Road kids in the future besides Xehanort and Eraqus (or, at least, that we know of).

Eraqus is stationed at The Land of Departure, rather than Scala.

Literally nobody talks about Scala in the future.

Eraqus was a “blue blood”—i.e. descended directly from Keyblade wielders (most likely Brain)—and Xehanort was an off-worlder who was made an apprentice and desperate to Eraqus’s equal.

We don’t really know much about what Scala was like, but we can guess, based on the size, structure, and the information about Eraqus’s family that it was likely a thriving city at one point.  We know that it was built on the ruins of Daybreak Town, and that many of the citizens were likely descendants of Dandelions.  I’m running on the assumption that not every citizen in the city would be a Keyblade wielder (though many are, and the “blue bloods” are often expected to take up the blade).  That said, my guess would be that many times masters would take townspeople as apprentices, and they’d only really take on off-worlders if they showed a lot of potential (which would really drive Xehanort’s desperation to prove himself).

As for the kids themselves, I’m going to jump on the bandwagon for two of them: Bragi being Luxu and Vor being Kairi’s grandmother.  For the first, I think it’d be interesting to see Luxu interact with the other apprentices, knowing what he does.  …Well, that, and the name is way too similar to Braig, so if they’re not the same person, I’m likely just going to get them confused.  For the second, it’d give an explanation for why Kairi’s grandmother knows that story about the Dandelions (not that it’s technically needed, but it’d be kind of fun).  That said, I’m thinking they aren’t blue bloods like Eraqus, but from regular families around the city (and I’m sure that’s going to be proven wrong soon, but…oh well).

Story-wise, I’m kind of predicting that things will start off mostly with just general training, we’ll get some references to the Dandelions/X-blade/etc. through Bragi, and MoM will pop up at some point to speak cryptically to Xehanort and stoke his ambition/fear.  I’d guess that The Land of Departure is some sort of outpost for the Keyblade wielders (perhaps one of many) that either a) a couple of masters and apprentices live at full time, or b) masters and apprentices are on a rotating schedule for who stays at an outpost and maintains it at any given time.

At any rate, about half way through the story is when I think the big “Scala calamity” is going to go down.  Essentially, I’m guessing that Bragi/Luxu is going to spur this on (presumably in order to make sure Xehanort ends up as the “scape goat” for whatever his plan is, though I’m not sure how exactly that would work).  This ends up killing and/or scattering the Keyblade wielders, and either flat out destroying Scala or basically taking it out of this plane of existence.  Xehanort, Eraqus, Urd, Hermod, and Eraqus’s/Xehanort’s master manage to escape together and head to The Land of Departure for safety, hoping to find other Keyblade wielders there. When they don’t after a time, the master head’s off to check the other outposts.

Meanwhile, the kids are stressed because they’ve just had their home destroyed, many Keyblade wielders are missing—including one of their closest friends—and the other betrayed them.  Xehanort is particularly antsy, which is partly because he’s feeling somewhat inadequate; he wanted to prove that he was good enough to be a Keyblade wielder, but he couldn’t do anything to stop Bragi, couldn’t protect his new home and friends, and now he’s not even allowed to look for them and Eraqus is insisting that they stay here because the master ordered them two, and Xehanort just doesn’t understand—

And then MoM shows up again. Xehanort vents his frustrations, and MoM does his usual thing and kind of manipulates Xehanort into leaving.  This is ultimately what ends up prompting Xehanort’s “world tour” as he calls it in Re:mind; his desperate attempt to find what Keyblade wielders are still out there, and to prove that he’s still good enough.  Unfortunately, none of this actually gives him the time to, you know…process the traumatic event that he and his friends have just gone through.  So when he travels the world, he can’t help but notice the bad things; how so many people will lie and go behind the backs of people that they claimed to love (like Bragi), how so many people claimed to be strong but when it came down to it they couldn’t protect anyone (like him), and how sometimes those mistakes end up leading to dire consequences (like what happened to his home).  Ultimately, this is what ends up fueling his philosophy that the world needs to be restarted, even if his reasoning is faulty; if people are horrible, and they’re just going to cause more suffering (and force others to go through what he did), then they should just be saved the trouble.  And he’s going to do things right this time. He’s going to make it better.  He’s going to prove he’s not weak and maybe be able to make sure nothing like this ever happens to him again.

Back at The Land of Departure, the kid’s master has basically decided to take up permanent residence there.  He hasn’t had much like finding other Keyblade wielders; he only found one, a young master named Yen Sid, who was so traumatized by the fall of Scala that he decided to give up the Keyblade, though he’s promise to keep an eye out for other Keyblade wielders and send along any information he could get.  The master decides that the best thing he can do is keep this outpost in good condition and train his apprentices in order to make sure they’re prepared to go out into the worlds on their own. Eraqus, in particular, works like crazy in training, and adheres to his master’s teachings almost religiously; like Xehanort, he’s still grieving from an event that none of them have properly worked through, he’s just handling it in vastly different ways.  His family’s the one that was descended from the Union Leaders; he’s the one who needs to pick up the slack, to lead, to make sure that everyone’s okay.  He can’t let the others know how bothered he is by all this; he has to be strong for them. (But in the back of his mind, he’s still thinking about the darkness that Bragi brought to their shared home, and how it had destroyed everything he’d loved.  He still has nightmares about it.  It terrifies him.)

After Urd and Hermod become masters, they decide to travel the worlds, like Xehanort, with the purpose of both trying to protect people and see if they can find other Keyblade wielders (even if, by this point, they know it’s unlikely).  Eraqus wants to come with them, but they gently refuse; the master is growing weaker, and someone needs to make sure this outpost stays standing.  If anyone should be taking charge of this, it’s Eraqus.  He agrees, albeit reluctantly, and his friends head off.

Urd and Hermod visit The Land of Departure much more than Xehanort does (though all of them return for the master’s passing).  At different points, the two appear with a child in tow (Terra and Aqua).  Maybe one or both of them are their kids; maybe they just found them.  Regardless, they can’t bring them with them, and the kids have nowhere else to stay, so they have to come to The Land of Departure.  Then, at some point, Urd and Hernod just…stop coming back.

And Eraqus is troubled. He’s worried for his friends, but he can’t leave to look for them, not when he has two very young children to look after, not when for all he knows he’s the only Keyblade Master left. So he stays in The Land of Departure, and he raises—and later trains—Terra and Aqua.  He never talks about Scala; Terra and Aqua never experienced the place, never had to deal with the heritage they’d lost, and he can’t bring himself to burden them with his own traumatic memories.  (Though, if he’s truthful with himself, he can admit that’s partially because he doesn’t want to relive them, either.)

And then Xehanort reappears. Out of the blue, like nothing’s changed. Eraqus is overjoyed.  He hasn’t seen any of his friends in years, he thought he was the only one left, but now one of his friends has returned, and he’s desperate to learn more about what’s happened in the outside world.

But Xehanort…isn’t quite like Eraqus remembered him.  He’s talking about bring about another Keyblade War, about whether or not they’re worthy (he’s worthy), and Eraqus doesn’t understand.  (Why would you want to force others to go through the same thing they went through?)  Xehanort doesn’t really explain, and of course, Eraqus attacks him, and Xehanort gives him his scars.  (It’s like Bragi all over again.  The darkness corrupts people.  It takes his loved ones away from him.)

Xehanort, of course, disappears for a few years, and then comes back with a young boy named Ven. Eraqus…isn’t quite sure what to make of this, this time.  He’s not going to turn the boy away (and maybe even recognizes the name, depending on how much Bragi/Luxu told them), but he’s also…a little wary after the last meeting with Xehanort.  But…Xehanort is also the only other Keyblade wielder he knows, besides his apprentices. The last member of their group still standing.  And no matter what Xehanort had done, he can’t bring himself to completely sever that friendship.  He doesn’t entirely believe Xehanort’s given up his plan, but—maybe if he keeps a close eye on Ven, then he can make sure it never works out.  And maybe if Ven is here, the last of his friends will stop by more, and he can try and change his mind.  It doesn’t work.  It was never going to work, but how could he have known that then?

…Aaaand I’m going to leave it there because this got…really out of hand.  This is almost definitely not going to be canon, but, hey; it’s fun to think about.

[historianatlarge]

1917 - Film Review

A few days ago, my wife and I went to see ‘1917’. I’m certainly a bit behind the curve in terms of writing my review of it, but the film has stayed with me since we were there, and I feel the need to get my thoughts down. Really, that in a nutshell is the best recommendation I can make to you about this film – well over a week later, I am still turning over what that moment means to me, what the memory it created will mean in the future.

I had been hesitant to go see it in theatres, in part because I had seen so very many films about the First World War. All these films had a sort of rhythm to them, an almost traditional way they played out, dependant on the country that made the film, or whom it was portraying. In short, I had expectations – certain themes, certain notes I expected ‘1917’ to strike. In the end, it was my mother who convinced me I should go see it and she was not only correct but extremely correct in urging me to do so. At every turn, ‘1917’ caught me by surprise – it struck hard and gave me a moment of renewed belief in the power of cinema to reinforce the importance of history to a mass audience.

Before I review it in further detail, I will indulge in an aside; one that represents those little moments of life that we tend to remember for a long time after as odd or strange, perhaps even a little bit humorous. We went to see the movie on the 14th – perhaps not the most obvious choice on Valentine’s Day – the same day that Sonic the Hedgehog premiered. By coincidence, 1917 was showing in the theater next to it, and both movies emptied out within a minute of each other. You can imagine the very, very odd juxtaposition between a roomful of gleeful children, teens and parents compared to the very, very somber and even sorrowful people coming from next door. In short, I now have a superb example of ‘contrast’ to use when teaching an English class.

To return to my main theme, however, all of this – even the aside – speaks to the idea of the unexpected. At its core, I believe that is the key to 1917’s power and very real feeling. It abandons many of the old tropes to focus on the moment, with a galaxy of circumstances the audience, and the movie’s characters, can’t know about all circling around in the distance. This, in a very critical way, was the First World War. To the individual, the war was beyond comprehension – and in many ways it remains difficult to understand today. A war of millions of people in a labyrinthine, mud-soaked hell couldn’t fail to be anything other than that: a grand, confused mess on which a great slaughter was carried out. Throughout the film, every character finds themselves not only part of events they do not have any control over but are surprised by it – something I can assure you happens to the audience as well.

The violence in the film is sudden, and unexpected. Death is never predictable, never something forecast – it is at once a routine part of the larger tapestry but a sudden, awful surprise in moments that arrive either with pure shock or by unusual circumstance. This emphasis on circumstance is a crucially important concept to understanding the life of the individual during the war. By abandoning the look at the big battles, director Sam Mendes has crafted something unique. It gets us past mere statistics, past stereotypes or national myths and to the crucial reminder that these were ordinary, real human beings and not just names on a cenotaph or a granite monument. Years of a family’s love and care, a bundle of hopes and memories and emotions – all of it suddenly ended in sometimes absurd ways in a war that was itself absurd and, in many ways, unreal.

This air of unreality is reflected in the reactions of the film’s characters, and the audience. The movie is all about reactions, of course, since nobody has any mastery of the world they find themselves in – another very real take on the conflict. But as they make their way through the film, practically every character must come to terms with something unreal to them. The larger event that frames the film is the German retreat to the Hindenburg Line, a measure taken in 1917 to shorten the German defensive front by falling back to a heavily prepared defensive line and freeing up resources. This they achieved with near complete surprise, so much so that apparently at least one soldier left up a sign for the advancing Allies saying “don’t be angry, be amazed!”

The very idea that the Germans would retreat without making the enemy wrench territory from them inch by bloody inch is an astonishing surprise to the characters in the film, to the point where some simply don’t believe it, and you simply cannot blame them for their error. Again, these characters – these people - are not masters of their own fate. Advancing into the abandoned German defences brings yet more surprise, at the solid, clean and well-prepared nature of German positions (which often were superior to Allied entrenchments for reasons best gone into elsewhere) – and then further surprise at the nasty surprises left behind.

All of this world of surprise, of sudden and unexpected violence, or strange events that are difficult to accept, is painted onto a background created with great care and even greater skill. Much has been said about the cinematography of the film, and the long shots are certainly unique in that they keep the audience from resting. You keep watching for the sudden changes, the unexpected twist – in short, the audience undergoes a shadow of the experience of the soldiers themselves. Their world did not cut away, it remained a constant threat where the most (seemingly) inconsequential decision could result in death.

This unreal world is depicted with both the grim reality and the strange, horrible beauty that war art often evokes. The ruins of a French town illuminated by starlight shells, for instance, presents a remarkable and grand tapestry while still depicting just one small place and one small moment. It is at once beautiful and terrible, and I am certain that any dedicated student of the First World War will understand this feeling, even if they struggle to put it into words. It certainly isn’t easy. For me, it reminded me of seeing Regeneration Hall at the War Museum in Ottawa. For all the beauty of the space, for all the care in its construction and message, the statuary was disturbing – and the image of their faces has stayed with me ever since. While the Hall is explicitly about hope for a better future, it reminds us about the horrors endured to get there. This is an unspoken and complex discussion, one that the movie carries on with expert skill.

The movie also abandons the stereotype of the officers as being almost evil and unfeeling, a hallmark of many First World War movies. This is replaced instead by an officer class just as overmatched by events as the regular soldiers, just as unable to adapt to the sudden changes on the battlefield. Some of the officers you will see in other First World War movies are almost comically inept and without any human feeling whatsoever – and while these people did exist, it certainly paints a more realistic picture to show the wide range of emotional responses to the war, rather than fall back on a singular image. Once again, this is a complex discussion – and I am glad the movie provokes it.

The film does more to conceptualize the war accurately, but I will avoid discussing that to avoid revealing any major plot revelations for those still planning to see it. To sum up, then, all I can say is that this movie sticks with you. You turn it over in your mind time and time again, and that is some of the highest praise I can think of for any motion picture. It brings a vanished world back to us, one that is at once very far away and just over the horizon if we fail to learn from the past.

The score, the cinematography and the acting are all superb – and by and large beside the point. It is the frank and new way that it deals with its subject matter that makes this stand out, at least from my perspective. I cannot recommend it more highly, for it has been a very long time since I left a movie theater with the words of Siegfried Sassoon so clear in my mind:

“Sneak home and pray you'll never know

The hell where youth and laughter go.”

[hiyo-silver]

Behind Blindfolds

Nobody expected the world to end the way it does until it starts. It was always thought to happen all in one go but instead it drags on for years of feigning really living when all they're doing is surviving. In this situation maybe, surviving is really losing.

Summary: A newbie joins the gang, she takes a particular liking to Beverly.

Chapter 1 + ao3

Taglist: @fuckboykaspbrak @thesquidliesthuman @rachi0964 @beepbeep-losers @bigbilliamdenbro @jalenrose11 @sleepygaybrough @itandstrangerthingsfanfic @boopboopbichie @peachywyatt @aizeninlefox @sockwantstodie @ahoybyeler @yooonbum @coffeekaspbrak @sedanleystanley

Beverly has never been so unsettled by the things that go bump in the night. She’s like to consider what she was a brave little girl, but really she was no more than a little girl who couldn’t find it in her trauma muddled mind to be afraid. Now, however, in the wake of what all the news channels are calling “the end of the world- at least how we know it,” she summons her courage to try and will herself to even close her eyes.

She’s the only woman here and she can feel all of their eyes on her in the hours that they’re awake. She’s young, pregnant, and seen as the weakest link in this band of misfits. Now they rely on the clocks to keep a more normal circadian rhythm. The windows are all shaded by large chunks of cardboard taped stiffly over the glass. No chances should be taken against this monster. It has no mercy, ruthless and evil. It’s almost like It has no mind or shape of It’s own, just taking people over for small bits of time just to destroy them. It can and will bring a fall to anything in its path. Derry has never known something more evil, it’s just a quiet town in rural Maine.

There’s a knock on the front door. Everything in the Uris house seems to freeze at the sound. The timid knocks grow louder, more desperate and scared. Stan pads down the stairs in his fluffy blue robe. Mike follows close behind, a long gun propped up on his shoulder. Bill joins them down the stairs carrying a handful of pretty fashion scarves, all silk and floral. They’d been Patty’s, but they can be easily used as blindfolds. It’s important to mourn the dead, but you can’t mourn if you yourself haven’t made it to a point of survival.

Beverly rolls off the guest bed, socked feet slipping out silently to the foyer with the boys. The three of them are whispering, all tying the scarves at the back of their heads, “Pass me one,” she demands in a hushed tone. She finds that part of being the only girl is useful, her voice is more distinct. Bill knows it’s her and shoves one in her direction. There’s no time to argue. May as well keep her safe if she insists on being involved.

“State your name and purpose,” Mike commands, projecting his voice loud enough to be heard through the door. Never once does the gun falter from it’s position poised on his shoulder. He may not be able to see through the scarf, but it’s easy to tell what his target is. Right in the center of the front door, right where he heard the voice from.

“Kay. Kay McCall. I live alone and my power’s gone out. I’ve been looking for anyone else who may be alive,” a woman’s voice calls back. She holds the same confidence that Mike’s command had held. It’s almost intimidating, but the team can definitely use another powerhouse like her.

“Listen K-Kay, I’m going to pass you a big blanket, o-okay? Hang it over the lamps o-outside the door. Then I’ll le-let you all the way in. It’s just for our pr-protection.” Bill tries to keep his voice steady, not wanting to stutter over the important instructions. By this interaction, Bev can tell that the man’s always stuttered that way. It’s been a part of his day to day life for years. He opens the door a crack, keeping the chain locked to keep them safe.

A hand with nails that were once painted but now chipping reaches in carefully, non threateningly. They can���t see it now, but it’ll become obvious without the blindfolds that she may be confident, but she’s definitely a nail biter. She does what she’s told as efficiently as she can, her own blindfold leaving her to her other senses. All the survivors will get good without their sight. They won’t be able to safely see the outside any time in the foreseeable future.

Finally she gets it draped over the outdoor lanterns, it’s meant to keep what could be seen outside the house out. They finally do open the door fully to reveal a short woman with curly black hair, shutting the door hastily and fearfully behind herself. They pull up their blindfolds, hers is a nice sleeping mask that matches her solid colored maternity pajamas. The pale pink of her tank top contrasts her deeply tan skin. The lack of blindfold reveals brown eyes chocked full of fear and worry.

“My name is Kay McCall,” she repeats, hoping to prompt some sort of chain of introductions. There’s less of them than it seemed like outside the door. She wants to come off as least scary as she possibly can. She’d like to be able to say that people don’t automatically assume her to stereotypes, but as soon as they know that her dad is black, she’s seen as nothing more than an angry black woman with a lot to say. She can prove herself otherwise though, as long as people give her a chance to explain her points. She’s just as useful and valuable. Though she sees Mike and lets out a breath that she forgot she’d been holding. He’s like her, and he’s very obviously trusted and in a position of leadership.

After their eyes meet hers they travel down. It would take an idiot to not realize she’s pregnant, about as big as Beverly’s own stomach. Kay takes note of this. “How far along are you?” she asks, her hand resting on the top of her stomach, still breathing hard from the journey here.

“Almost full term,” Bev responds. The boys take a different shade of shocked then Kay does. Their shock only increases at her response.

“Me too.” Two babies born around the same time. Two babies who will know nothing but living with no grass and no sunshine. The miracle of birth should be exciting, but really it just fills the awake group with a fresh wave of fear.

“Welcome to the club, Kay, us losers stuck living through this hell,” Mike says, finally lowering his gun. They used to exclusively call themselves the survivors, but now it feels less hopeful, only making them feel more stuck. There’s not much to do now. Rations are lowering, there’s no cell service, and the streets aren’t getting much quieter. There’s no end in sight of whatever this is. They don’t feel like winners, like success, quite the opposite. Losers. They feel like losers.

“Thanks,” Kay says in a small whisper. It’s not like she was expecting the warmest of welcomes, but she didn’t expect the entire group to disperse out before even introducing themselves properly. She rubs her arm awkwardly, left alone in the foyer with Beverly. She already sees an ally in her. She’s the only other woman she’s seen in this group, and even better they’re both at the same point in their pregnancies. It would do them good to become close.

“Your name?” Kay asks, the wording comes out sounding a bit entitled but it wasn’t meant to. She’s used to comfort at least most of the time. When she divorced her husband a long while ago she ended up with most of the money. She knew exactly what she was doing. She’s a published author, quite wealthy, and ready to bring her baby girl into the world. That is until this thing came along. Her books don’t feel as important now that life itself is on the line.

“Beverly. Beverly Marsh,” Bev tries to speak as smoothly as Kay does, but she nearly always comes off as rude or uncaring when she must be serious. Her voice comes out in an unsure quiver instead. Like her hesitant tongue wasn’t ready to say anything. She’s short and small in stature, but the way she carries herself gives off more power than Beverly thinks she ever could- key would thinks she could ever.

The dim light of the foyer gets tiring and soon Bev decides that since she’s been here longer it’s her job to direct. “You probably need somewhere to sleep. Pillows and blankets are in the closet down the hall, I’ll get some for you,” it’s her excuse to walk away, and hopefully bring her closer to going back to sleep. Growing a human inside of her body is showing itself to be exhausting.

She pulls open the sliding closet door and sees something even worse than all the horrors she’s seen in the past few days. In the closet, illuminated by the light bulb at the top of the closet, are Richie and Eddie. Not just Richie and Eddie but Richie and Eddie naked, Eddie’s dick up Richie’s ass, panting in a way he couldn’t blame on his asthma. It takes them a few moments to notice Beverly and the door opening, a look of horror crossing their faces. “It’s not what it looks like,” Richie rushes out, pushing his glasses up his nose, pulling away from Eddie as fast as he can even though it hurts.

“Uh, I just need a pillow and a blanket and a minor case of amnesia,” Beverly says in a hushed voice with a sarcastic smile. She just reaches up for the top shelf to pull down what she needs. “Use protection, be safe, goodnight,” she says as she closes the door again. She lets out a deep sigh, that was another thing she definitely did not want to witness. No wonder they hadn’t been there for Kay’s arrival, they’d been in the closet getting started on whatever they were doing.

Bev hugs the pillow and quilt to her chest, waddling her way down to the foyer. She starts to pass them to Kay, “Where do you want to sleep? I can help you find somewhere,” Bev asks, she wants to get this over with but she remembers being the new one. She can be the Bill for Kay, he explained to her most of what she needed, and she can help Kay.

“Where are you sleeping? I hear pregnant woman shouldn’t be alone all the time, it can make their baby not develop well,” Kay suggests. Really all her time alone has gotten lonely. She didn’t think that not having a partner would feel so much like a loss, but it’s just something new to learn about herself. Self discovery is important.

Beverly looks a bit uncomfortable for a moment or two, before just nodding. She’s been pretty lonely too. Leaving Tom was the best thing she could have done, but she still has an ounce of regret. She leads Kay to the guest room, she got lucky to sleep in a nice bed, they decided that she should because she’s pregnant. Kay is also pregnant, it’s just fair.

“So who’s your baby’s father?” Bev asks, she remembers that Kay said she’d been living alone, maybe she’s like her. Solidarity sounds refreshing.

“A sperm donor, number thirty three to be exact,” the shorter woman says with a sly smile, trying to set her pillow and blanket alongside Bev’s. She’s learned that relationships aren’t very fulfilling to her, but she wants to be a mother. She wants to bring a child into this world, who knows? Her child could bring the change the world needs. Self reliance was alright before, but what seems to be an apocalypse brings a completely different set of rules and goals. “What about yours?”

“An asshole. I loved him, I really did. But he hit me and hurt me and I don’t think he’d make a safe father. So I got out of there. I’m still not sure I’d make a safe mother either, but I can’t take the baby away from myself,” Beverly explains, too exhausted to have a filter. Besides, she’s stuck with these people for now, they’re allowed to know.

“You’ll make a great mother,” Kay says in a sure voice.

“How do you know?” Bev asks, laying in her spot, pulling a strand of her hair behind her ear.

“Because you’re questioning if you will be. Sign of intelligence,” Kay says, laying beside her and looking over at her, trying to get herself comfortable. “The best way to be a good mom now is to get some rest.”

[southeastasianists]

Cambodia will vote on Sunday July 29. Today, the 20 competing parties can make their final appeals to the voters. It is the endpoint of a campaign that many have dramatically dismissed as a death knell for Cambodian democracy. Both publicly—through articles and social media posts—and in private conversations, people often draw on their observations and memories of Cambodia’s past elections to weigh in on the state of politics and to consider what options remain.

First, some background. National elections are held every five years. In 2013, the opposition Cambodia National Rescue Party (CNRP), headed by Sam Rainsy and Kem Sokha, came close to defeating Prime Minister Hun Sen’s Cambodian People’s Party (CPP). The results shocked the ruling party, which has effectively been in charge of the country’s affairs for almost four decades.

After the commune elections in 2017 demonstrated that popular discontent with Cambodia’s longstanding leadership had not ceased, the government began a series of drastic measures. Sokha was accused of plotting a “colour revolution” with the help of the US and jailed on treason charges, for which he could face 14 years imprisonment. Rainsy left the country under threat of defamation charges. In November 2017, the Supreme Court dissolved the opposition party and barred its members from political activities for five years before redistributing their seats. The bulk of them went back to the ruling party, a handful were scattered among other “opposition” parties.

So on Sunday, 19 parties will contest the CPP’s powerful grip. But without a major opposition party, this year’s election looks markedly different than previous ones.

The 2013 elections provide the most common backdrop to structure people’s observations of this year’s campaigns: compared to the bustling excitement and the loud and cheerful confidence displayed by CNRP voters all over the country, the opposition parties’ campaigns this year are mostly remarkable for what they are not. Even the capital Phnom Penh, otherwise the hub of campaign activities, is mostly silent and few things indicate that challengers to the CPP remain.

Yet for someone who has spent years combing through archives that document the work of the United Nations Transitional Authority in Cambodia (UNTAC) it is the country’s first elections that still shape observations, at times producing an almost eerie sense of déjà vu:

what exactly is the role and agenda of the small parties? Will the government track voters’ choices in the ballot boxes? What will the total numbers of votes cast reveal about the future of Cambodia’s democracy?

These questions, now on the forefront of many voters’ minds, were just as intensely debated 25 years ago. At the end of its mission to implement the 1991 Paris Peace Agreements, UNTAC organised the country’s first democratic elections in 1993. The highly anticipated event was globally celebrated (some might say overly glorified) as the “birth of democracy” in Cambodia.

In 1993 as well as in 2018 a total of 20 parties registered to compete in the elections.

However, then, as now, the concept of a “political competition of ideas” was mostly elusive in an environment marked by fear and insecurity.

In 1993 it was the memories of the war that loomed large. During their televised campaign speeches Cambodian politicians alluded repeatedly to “mountains of bones, rivers of blood and an ocean of suffering” and appealed to their fellow politicians to prioritise national reconciliation. The theme was also evident in the parties’ names—Khmer Neutral Party or Liberal Reconciliation Party—and party symbols that used images like shaking hands or the peace dove.

Amidst the ongoing political violence in the country, the candidates chose their campaign locations and words carefully. “We live with the tiger and therefore must act in such a way as to avoid being eaten”, explained a candidate to an UNTAC official. Another observer noted in his report: “… the Bulletin of the Democratic Party is printed in a no-fuss black and white typescript. The Bulletin’s lackluster presentation style is carried over in content. This is no doubt a deliberate tactic to avoid direct criticism and the possibility of harassment.”

In 2018 similar tendencies can be observed. Many of the CPP’s competitors embrace the least objectionable of all causes in their campaigns and vaguely profess to “protect forests” or “end poverty” once in power. In his office, one party leader handed me a small program, the size of half a postcard, and gestured towards the breast pocket of his shirt: Easy to put it in here, he said. Easy to hide. And of course, small programs are also cheaper: most of the parties are notoriously under-financed and have only limited funding to spend on the campaigns. They focus their attention on going door to door in the provinces, talking to prospective voters and distributing their leaflets.

In the space of the city of Phnom Penh this translates into an overwhelming presence for the CPP. Huge, well-lit billboards have been erected at major intersections of the city. They line many of the large boulevards, streets and bridges. The party’s programs, slogans, and symbols have been glued to building walls at regular intervals. The portraits of the party’s leaders, Hun Sen and National Assembly president Heng Samrin, shoulder by shoulder, are omnipresent. There are tents, where party supporters alternately play campaign speeches and music. Expensive cars adorned with the CPP symbol can be spotted all over town. Shops sell CPP hats, shirts, phone cases and other merchandise. Rallies involve thousands of identically dressed supporters in cars, open trucks, and motorbikes and are flawlessly choreographed events: police are positioned on every corner, their ears pressed to their walky-talkies, waiting for their signal to stop the traffic and wave the motorcades through.

Amidst all of this, the campaigns of the other parties are difficult to find. None have a single billboard; their signs are small, mostly at the outskirts of the city, by the side of dusty roads. Some have taken to parking tuk-tuks decorated with flags and equipped with loudspeakers that blast recorded campaign speeches by their leaders towards the passers-by. Their processions have dramatically fewer supporters and the authorities are less likely to support their way through the city’s dense traffic, often leading to the campaign processions being cut into smaller and smaller groups of supporters.

In 1993, cognisant of the CPP’s relative wealth and reach even at that time, UNTAC tried to level the playing field by creating a radio station and then distributing radios in the provinces. One might assume that with the advent of social media and the intense popularity of Facebook in Cambodia the smaller parties could make up for much of the financial, material, and organisational limitations of their campaigns by reaching out to their supporters online. Yet, the government’s announcement to monitor social media ahead of the elections has spooked many and it is almost as quiet and monotonous on the web as it is in the streets of Phnom Penh.

Despite these restrictions and regardless of the media used, rumours travel fast in every era. To express their concerns and ask for advice in the run-up to the 1993 elections listeners from around the country wrote to the UNTAC radio station, which sometimes received several hundred letters a day. During a special program, selected letters would be read and answered on air. People had heard of magic pens or spy drones, and contacted UNTAC for advice.

Similar stories circulate today. Smartphones and their integrated cameras make it unnecessary to imagine more elaborate methods of surveillance inside the ballot box, but the dominant themes of those rumours remain the same: people worry about the government’s ability to compromise the secrecy of the vote.

Which brings us to one last point: the current preoccupation with the total number of votes cast. During a televised statement in 1993, In Tam, the leader of the Democratic Party, urged his fellow people to go and vote to guarantee that Cambodia would no longer be isolated:

“Please participate in the elections; so that there are 90 percent or even more, so that they can see that we want to be a country that obeys the law and lives under the rule of law… Today they regard us as people living under the rule of the jungle, today there is nobody who recognises us; so if we do not all go to the elections, if we can’t be bothered to vote, then we will continue being a country that is excluded from the global community, so mobilise everything there is.”

And indeed, 90% did turn out, providing observers with the key element of their success story—despite the fact that both before and after the ballot it was business as usual and power-play and bargaining, not the will of the people, determined the end result.

Today, Sam Rainsy and his supporters urge the Cambodian people to stay at home to demonstrate that democracy can survive. Those who must go, they say, should spoil their ballots. They have dismissed all other parties as puppets or traitors and will claim every vote not cast for any party.

It is likely because of the tendency of the former CNRP members to bring up the Paris Peace Agreements, in their appeals from abroad, that people continue to regularly bring up UNTAC themselves: “they [UNTAC] installed the two prime ministers and then just left”, a shop owner said yesterday. A few days earlier she had also noted that “nobody will come to help because they already spent so much money then”.

Many commentators have loudly declared these elections “a farce”, “already over”, and “history” weeks before the polls have opened. And while it is true that Hun Sen is not going to disappear from the world stage by means of this vote, such statements are dismissive of those who are still grappling with the question of what the right decision under these difficult circumstances is.

To those people, who had neither the luxury to learn about the country’s history in libraries or archives, nor the convenience to observe and comment from the sidelines, it is the memory of another election that looms large: that of 1998 and the clashes leading up to it that turned Phnom Penh once again into a war zone.

Ahead of Sunday’s vote, Hun Sen’s government has conducted riot training and provided new equipment to officers around the country. Two days before the vote people are wondering: is the current suspense the proverbial silence before storm, or is it the silence before the silence? And what is worse? “We have stocked up on dry noodles, just in case”, a market vendor said.

Looking back, it becomes painfully obvious that not only are Cambodia’s elections flawed, they are also a flawed vehicle to trace political change in Cambodia. To those still committed to peaceful change, the simplistic tales of “birth” and “death” of democracy are meaningless. Cambodians will, as one party official said, just continue to use and engage whatever space remains. “It is important for us as Khmer, the leaders and the citizens, we must try ourselves, trust in ourselves and hope. We cannot give up. If we give up, if we think it is impossible, if we only think of losing, who is going to help us?”

[sinrau]

Storm Troopers on the Streets. People Being Disappeared. A President Dismantling Democracy. Where Does America Go From Here?

Masked men armed with machine guns. Abducting people in unmarked cars. No warrants, no explanation.

Here’s the navy vet who reminded them of their oath — and got his hand broken for it.

Here are the Moms who were gassed — attacked with chemical agents — for not obeying.

Here are peaceful protesters being beaten and tear gassed.

Here are the masked, armed men in question. Take a hard look. Does the term “stormtroopers” feel appropriate?

Here’s the part where the president announces that all that’s coming to city after city. Those armed men, those stormtroopers — are going to be in your town, too, shortly.

Is it fascism yet?

I ask that for a reason. Not to be snarky. Even at this late, late juncture — almost too late — there seems to be far too small and weak of an understanding of what’s happened to America. Sure, people like me have been trying to explain — and predict — it for years now. But by and large, the price we paid is being ignored and marginalized. The moment I started talking about American fascism being a real danger — whoosh — there went my book deals, columns TV appearances. Don’t cry for me. I never wanted them. I like making music. But you should have listened, or at least been able to hear the warnings.

Because now America, its democracy, its future, its present, faces a very real existential threat.

Fascist implosion.

How did I know that a fascist implosion was on the way? Why was I so certain of it?

The answer to that question is: “everyone — and especially intellectuals — should have.” Because that is what the socioeconomic data pointed to, in no uncertain terms.

Fascism happens when a society falls into sudden, fresh poverty. In particular, when it holds debts it can’t repay — and the result is widespread economic stagnation. A feeling of discontentment and hopelessness become pervasive. Social bonds fray. Trust collapses. A society is hanging together by a thread. Elites, whose status and prestige will be lost if they admit they’ve mismanaged society, don’t — and so the vicious cycle of poverty and despair simply thunders on.

Soon enough, in the vacuum, a demagogue arises, who blames the economic woes of the true and the pure on those its easiest to scapegoat. Long-hated, powerless minorities. “We will be Great Again!,” he cries. “All you must do is annihilate the subhumans.” His flock — long ignored and derided by elites as the cause of their own problems, now have someone else to blame, to demonize. Those who they’ve hated for generations, usually, anyways. Bang! The fascist spark is lit. The rest is history.

How did I know that fascism was coming, way back when? How did anyone not know, is the better question. We all know — or should know, roughly — the story above. It should have been as plain as a tornado heading your way on a sunny day. Why?

American wages have been stagnant for half a century. That suggested fascism. How did Americans make ends meet — considering prices of basics, from healthcare to food to education, are always skyrocketing? They went into debt. America became a debtor nation. That suggested fascism, too, this time strongly.

The debts Americans held were unpayable by the 2010s: the average American began to die in debt. Americans give me a blank look — “so what?” — when I say that, but to an economist, there should be almost no more devastating statistic — it means people don’t earn, save, or own anything. They’ve become neopeasants again. Germany owed money to France and Britain — Americans owed it to their own super rich. Different faces — same toxic economics. These toxic economics didn’t just suggest fascism anymore. They practically shouted it.

Finally, as a result of these ruinous trends, the American middle class became a minority in 2010 or so. A nation had fallen into fresh poverty. Sure, it wasn’t the absolute crushing poverty of, say, the Congo. It was something different, stranger, precisely because it’s so rare. It was poverty in a nominally rich society. It was people in the world’s largest economy forced to choose between their lives, that crucial operation, and their life savings. America’s middle class became a minority, its working class disintegrated — everyone except the super rich and their minions became one giant, amorphous class of new poor, perpetually indebted, living right at the edge. All this didn’t just shout fascism was coming — it screamed it.

America’s economic statistics by this point — the mid 2010’s — were shocking, breathtaking, surreal. At least to those who were paying attention. How many of us was that left, though?

80% of Americans lived paycheck to paycheck. A similar number couldn’t raise a tiny amount for an emergency. Half of Americans now worked “low wage service jobs.” All this screamed — screamed — fascism was coming like a wounded animal crying for help.

At least to anyone who knows the story of how fascism happens, which should be all of us, but especially intellectuals. America’s intellectual class, though, has never been much of one. It’s made, mostly, of pundits — men who look good in suits, but haven’t read a book since grade school, it seems. And so nobody — nobody — with any real influence or power warned Americans what was about to happen. What was now inevitable, inescapable, because in America, the 1930s had begun to repeat themselves.

What was about to happen, as sure as the sun sets, or the stars rise? Fascism was.

Right on cue, as if according to a script, Donald Trump emerged. Remember when I said “a demagogue arises, who blames the woes of the true and the pure on hated minorities?” Trump played that role with eerie, stunning precision. He called immigrants and refugees animals and vermin. He mocked disabled people. He demonized and dehumanized black people, Mexicans, Latinos, women. He threatened to build a wall, and promised that the true and pure would be Great Again.

You’d think at this point, Americans would have gotten it. Here was fascism. It was happening here. Just as had been foretold by anyone thoughtful enough to pay even cursory attention to history. Poverty, despair? Check. Demagogue? Check. Threats, intimidation, hate, dehumanization? Check. Blaming hated minorities for all a society’s problems? Check. Check. Check.

Trump was likely to win — because the historical deck was stacked for him. Fascism was on the cards now. That much should have been lesson one, and the opposition should have been fierce and furious both.

Instead, the very opposite happened. The New York Times “but-her-emailed” Hillary. Wait, what? Emails versus fascism? What the? Today’s “anti-Trump” brigade was squarely for him — folks like Morning Joe. And instead of taking the possibility seriously that he might win, and do, well, the things fascists do — anyone who tried to warn of that was dismissed, mocked, marginalized, scorned.

Nobody was allowed to say fascism. At least not if you wanted to be serious and grave and respected and all the other accoutrements of American punditry. Me? I’ve always cared more about telling you the truth than accolades. So I warned as sternly as I could, and swiftly lost my columns, book deals, TV appearances, and so forth.

Part of me was relieved. I never much liked any of that stuff. I wasn’t made to be a pundit. I’m a lover, not a fighter. But part of me was also horrified. Because I knew that now the final element in the recipe of fascism had arrived, too. What was that?

Demagogue? Check. Idiot army? Check. Hate and violence? Dehumanization and demonization? Scapegoating long-hated minorities? Check, check, check. All those are necessary for fascism to seize power. But to keep it, exercise it, abuse it? For fascism to really reach its brutal, grim culmination?

The final element is the most dangerous one of all, and yet it’s the hardest to see, too.

Denial.

Now Americans went into four long years of denial. They baffled the world. They felt like an eternity to people like me. Four long, terrible years.

Concentration camps were built. Nope, no fascism here.

Kids were “separated” from their families, and thrown in them. That’s a form of genocide by the way. Nope, no fascism here.

People were caged in the camps. Fascism? What fascism?

Entire ethnicities were banned. Fascism? Where?

Entire government agencies were purged, and “Acting Directors” — extremists, crusaders for the project of a racially pure “homeland” — were installed. Nope! Still no fascism here.

Oval Office advisors were revealed to be literal white supremacists. What’s it called when racial supremacists seize control of the government? Nope! Not fascism!

Hated minorities hunted by shocktroops in the streets. Papers checked. Fascism? Where?

The New York Times, among others, did fawning profiles of…Nazis. Fascism? Don’t be ridiculous! There’s no fascism here!

Four long, long years. Four stupid, terrible, idiotic, painful years. Of polite denial, quiet complicity, and flat-out cowardice. During which the Trump Administration checked literally everything off the textbook fascist checklist we learn in grade school, then high school, then college — concentration camps, bans, raids, paper-checking, dehumanization, hate, purges. While there were three kinds of Americans. One, the American Idiot, who supported all that. But two, the good American — who was in denial as deep as an ocean about it. And three, the American intellectual, politician, leader, who pretended not to get all that was fascism, or worse, actually didn’t.

The world was baffled, disturbed, bewildered, horrified. Were Americans really that dumb? They didn’t know fascism when they saw it? What the?

Didn’t they get that literally every item on the fascist checklist was now being ticked, save one?

The world hadn’t seen such a level of denial since the 1930s, either, as the one that swept America over the last four years.

That is why the fascists were so stunningly successful — to the point that now Americans have to ask: “will they steal the next election?” Their very own denial paved fascism’s way down the abyss.

I said one element was left on the checklist of fascism — what was it? Can you guess?

The old saying goes. “First they came for the Black person, and I did nothing. Then they came for the Mexican, and I did nothing. Then they came for the refugee, and I did nothing. Finally, they came for me.” I’ve modernized it a little.

The last checkbox on the list of fascism was all those institutions of fascism which had now been built — Gestapos, paramilitaries, concentration camps, cages, dehumanization, raids — being turned against white Americans themselves. The “real” ones, the ones who thought, foolishly, they were safe.

Nobody was safe. Nobody is safe when fascism ignites. Especially not the good people. They are either drafted into the fascist cause — or they are abused and intimidated into silence and submission. What was happening to the Mexican, the Latino, the Black — it was always a foreshadowing of what was to happen to all. Everyone was to be brutalized, in the end. Those shock troops were always going to hunt you, one day, in the streets, too.

That’s why fascism is so dangerous. It’s like a plague. It consumes a society whole, or not at all.

So what happens now? After these four long terrible, idiotic, painful years of shocking, incredible levels of denial, complicity, and cowardice, which let fascism flourish?

What happens now is this. The fascist institutions that Trump built get used against Americans, brutally and relentlessly and remorselessly. Camps, Gestapos, raids, bans, purges, shock troops, cages. Not just again Mexicans and Latinos and Blacks, who happen to be Americans. But Americans, meaning the whites who’ve thought they were above such things. Now fascism reaches its endgame, which is that the fascists use the institutions they’ve built to control and dominate a whole society through terror, brutality, and violence.

Now the shock troops march down your pleasant streets. They intimidate and frighten you from voting, protesting, organizing, marching. They scare your children and terrify your neighbours. Now the fascists do everything they can to steal the next election.

And if they win, then critics, opponents, dissidents — all get disappeared by those armed men. Thrown into camps. Put into cages. Who knows when they’re ever seen again. They’re enemies of the state now. Those shock troops stay on the streets forever. Your kids get recruited into the fascist machine, seduced by promises of glory. The Trumps stay in power for a lifetime. The great fascist goals of racial purity, ethnic cleansing, genocide, violence, holocaust — they begin in earnest.

That’s what happens next.

How do I know?

The real question is: how the hell don’t you still know? The entire world knows.

Night falls.

The leaves quiver.

The wolves bay, and the frightened animals scurry.

Is it fascism yet?

Umair July 2020

[centerofstupidity]

A Walk to Remember Chapter 1 Snark

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Interested in reading the previous A Walk to Remember chapter snarks? They can be found here. 

Next Nicholas Sparks Book Snark: The Rescue 

Chapter summary: We meet a Bible-thumping minister and Landon is a terrible person. Also, the designated love interest is an Angel of the House: innocent, perfect, and pure.

The story is set in Beaufort, North Carolina in 1958.

Landon says that the humidity is so hot in the summer that “walking out to get the mail made a person feel as if he needed a shower.”

People waved from their cars whenever they saw someone on the street whether they knew him or not,

In a Nicholas Sparks, everyone is friendly, good, and God-fearing Christians. (The villain is always one-dimensional.)

They know each other’s business and have lived in town for their entire lives. And news always travels fast in the small town.

Landon says for many people fishing and crabbing is a way of life.

Only three channels came in on the television, though television was never important to those of us who grew up there. Instead our lives were centered around the churches, of which there were eighteen within the town limits alone.

1. Yes, I know that Americans were more religious in the 1950’s. 2. But they still had a life outside of a church and weren’t thinking about Jesus 24/7. 3. People went camping and fishing. They also went to bowling alleys, sock hops, and drive-in movie theaters. 4. For most of the story, Landon isn’t very religious. He goes to church but that’s it. And Landon regards a girl who reads the Bible every day as a weirdo. 5. The only time Landon became religious is when he supposedly fell in love with Jamie. 6. It is important to remember that Nicholas Sparks has writing rules that he won’t break like all of his characters must go to church.  7. And he has said that people without faith are alone, thinking they are the center of the universe. 

Landon rattles off the names and types of Baptist churches in the area.

The big event of the year is a Christmas play sponsored by the Baptist church downtown and the local high school.

The play is written by Hegbert Sullivan, “a minister who’d been with the church since Moses parted the Red Sea."

Okay, maybe he wasn’t that old, but he was old enough that you could almost see through the guy’s skin. It was sort of clammy all the time, and translucent—kids would swear they actually saw the blood flowing through his veins—

Translucent skin… Translu…

“His skin was translucently white, like onionskin, and it looked just as delicate—” New Moon by Stephenie Meyer

So Hegbert is a sparklepire? Good to know.

and his hair was as white as those bunnies you see in pet stores around Easter.

Wow. Just wow. The prose is so boring and bland.

And Nicholas Sparks thinks he writes like Ernest Hemingway…

Also, what seventeen-year-old boy would say “bunnies”?

Hebert wrote the play The Christmas Angel because he hates A Christmas Carol.

In his mind, Scrooge was a heathen, who came to his redemption only because he saw ghosts, not angels—and who was to say whether they’d been sent by God, anyway?

I hate to break it to ya but both ghosts and angels are spirits.

The only difference is that a ghost is a human spirit that has not properly passed over to the other side and they remain on earth while angels are spiritual beings of light.

And who was to say he wouldn’t revert to his sinful ways if they hadn’t been sent directly from heaven?

Um… If the ghosts weren’t sent from Heaven, then where did they come from?

Baptists don’t believe in purgatory. After death, they believe that there are only two places where people can go: Heaven or Hell.

Unless the minister thinks the ghosts are demons in disguise.

It won’t make any sense because the three spirits are trying to get Scrooge to repent and be a better person.

The play didn’t exactly tell you in the end—it sort of plays into faith and all—

Maybe Charles Dickens didn’t think he had to spell it out in 72 pt Times New Roman font.

but Hegbert didn’t trust ghosts if they weren’t actually sent by God, which wasn’t explained in plain language, and this was his big problem with it.

1. And where is the proof that they are not sent by God? 2. Faith is about believing without seeing and not demanding proof. 3. And Christians who deepen their faith learn how to discern between the voice of God, the voice of Satan, and one’s ego. 4. Is Hegbert pissed off at Charles Dickens because the ghosts didn’t say ”I am the ghost of Christmas (past/present/future) and I was sent by God the Father Almighty, Maker of Heaven and Earth"? 5. Because following that logic, the Archangel Raphael was not sent by God. 6. In The Book of Tobit, the Archangel Raphael didn’t reveal his identity until Tobit cures his father’s blindness. For most of the story, Tobit knew the Archangel Raphael as Azariah the son of Hananiah the great.

A few years back he’d changed the end of the play—sort of followed it up with his own version, complete with old man Scrooge becoming a preacher and all, heading off to Jerusalem to find the place where Jesus once taught the scribes.

Unsurprisingly, nobody liked the play so Hegbert decided to write his own play.

He’d written his own sermons his whole life, and some of them, we had to admit, were actually interesting, especially when he talked about the “wrath of God coming down on the fornicators” and all that good stuff.

A fire and brimstone minister.

N. Sparks will claim later on that he has a great sense of humor and we are supposed to see him as a great guy.

Because we all know fire and brimstone ministers are not anti-semitic, homophobic, islamophobic, misogynistic, racist, sexist and xenophobic pieces of shit.

That really got his blood boiling, I’ll tell you, when he talked about the fornicators. That was his real hot spot.

“And don’t get him started on those Commies and sodomites."

So Landon and his friends hid behind trees and shouting that Hegbert is a fornicator before walking down the street.

We’d giggle like idiots, like we were the wittiest creatures ever to inhabit the planet.

Landon is following Anita Blake's logic: If you do something wrong, just say you feel bad about it, and continue being a terrible person. And nobody will dare tell you to STOP being an asshole.

Old Hegbert, he’d stop dead in his tracks and his ears would perk up—I swear to God, they actually moved—and he’d turn this bright shade of red, like he’d just drunk gasoline, and the big green veins in his neck would start sticking out all over, like those maps of the Amazon River that you see in National Geographic.

1. So Hegbert is a mog too? (Virtual cupcake to anyone who gets that reference.) 2. I know that some people can wiggle their ears. Because humans can't perk their ears up like a dog.

Hegbert is pissed off and he is looking for them.

Boy, it was something to watch, that’s for sure.

"Being an asshole is a lot of fun!"

So the assholes are hiding behind a tree. Landon sneers "what kind of parents name their kid Hegbert, anyway?" and Hegbert is standing there, waiting for them to "to give ourselves up, as if he thought we’d be that stupid."

They cover their mouths with their hands and Hegbert always knows where to find them.

Hegbert tells them that he along with the Lord knows "who you are". And a minute later, Hegbert walks away.

During the sermon that weekend he’d stare right at us and say something like “God is merciful to children, but the children must be worthy as well.”

"But subject you to pain, unpleasantness -- suffering -- and you will take notice, you will fight to overcome, to earn your redemption. That is when you're at your best." Gabriel from Constantine 2005.

I think Gabriel and Hegbert should go bowling.

The assholes lower themselves in seats "not from embarrassment, but to hide a new round of giggles."

Landon says that Hegbert didn't understand us "didn’t understand us at all, which was really sort of strange, being that he had a kid and all."

But then again, she was a girl. More on that, though, later.

"Girls are ladylike and only like cute and pretty things. And tomboys don't exist."

Landon repeats the fact that Hegbert is the one who wrote The Christmas Angel and decided to put on the play.

He says that the play isn't bad and this surprised everyone the first year it was performed.

I am putting on my jeweled turban and gaze into my crystal ball.

It's about Hegbert Tom Thorton who had lost his wife in childbirth and is raising a daughter all on his own.

It will also be sappy like a Hallmark movie. Aren't I awesome?

He hasn't been the greatest father and his daughter wants a special music box for Christmas. He can't find the box and meets an angel disguised as a woman on Christmas Eve.

The angel promises to help him to get the gift for his daughter. Along the way, they help a homeless person and Landon is quick to say that "back then they were called bums".

Tom tells the angel that he wants his wife back for Christmas. The angel tells him to look into the city fountain and he'll find what he is looking for.

Tom cries after seeing the face of his daughter. The angel is MIA and Tom heads home.

He realizes he hasn't been a good father and that his daughter is all he has left of his wife.

The story ends with the music box underneath the tree and the angel on the box looks exactly like the mysterious woman.

Landon repeats that the play "wasn't that bad".

Apparently, the play sold out every year and people "cried buckets" every time they saw it.

Hegbert wants seniors in high school to perform the play and not the theater group.

I reckon he thought it would be a good learning experience before the seniors headed off to college and came face-to-face with all the fornicators.

Unless these seniors want to become actors, how is performing a play count as "good learning experience"? 

And how does performing a Christmas give the students the information to deal with "fornicators"? 

I'm getting the impression that Nicholas Sparks thinks that men and women in the past were BOTH expected to stay celibate before marriage.

But that's not the case. Men weren't expected to remain virgins.

Men could have extramarital affairs, have longtime mistresses, and even have sex with other men. And guys would get away with it as long as they didn't flaunt them in public.

Women were expected to celibate until they were married. It took an unchaperoned visit or ONE sexual affair for a woman to be considered a whore. 

He was that kind of guy, you know, always wanting to save us from temptation.

"Remember boys and girls: premarital sex is wrong!"

He wanted us to know that God is out there watching you, even when you’re away from home, and that if you put your trust in God, you’ll be all right in the end.

Riiight.

Because the same minister who gives fire and brimstone sermons would be the sort of person that would talk about God watching over you and if you trust Him, then things will be all right.

I think the minister would most likely say "God is always watching your every move. If you are bad, He will smite you. And your soul will burn in Hell for all eternity."

It was a lesson that I would eventually learn in time, though it wasn’t Hegbert who taught me.

"It would be my designated love interest."

Landon says that Beaufort is a typical southern town but it has an interesting history.

He talks about how Blackbeard owned a house in town and recently his ship might have been found by "some archaeologists or oceanographers or whoever looks for stuff like that."

Landon, they are called marine archaeologists.

Being that it sank over 250 years ago and you can’t exactly reach into the glove compartment and check the registration.

Because a pirate ship would have a glove box.

I think that comment sounded wittier in Nicholas Spark’s head than it does on paper.

Beaufort’s come a long way since the 1950s, but it’s still not exactly a major metropolis or anything.

We get it, Landon. Beaufort is a quaint and small southern town.

Beaufort was, and always will be, on the smallish side, but when I was growing up, it barely warranted a place on the map.

For the love of all that is holy, will you please stop talking about the same thing over and over again?

Landon keeps talking about how Beaufort is a small town and how "the congressional district that included Beaufort covered the entire eastern part of the state—some twenty thousand square miles—and there wasn’t a single town with more than twenty-five thousand people."

It turns out that Landon's father is a congressman.

I suppose you’ve heard of him. He’s sort of a legend, even now.

If he was a legend, then you wouldn't be telling us who he is.

Landon's father is Worth Carter and he was a congressman for almost thirty years.

Worth's election slogan is “Worth Carter represents ———” and people are supposed to fill in the city name where they lived.

I can remember, driving on trips when me and Mom had to make our appearances to show the people he was a true family man

I call bullshit on Landon's dad being a "true family man".

Landon's father is gone nine months out of the year and is living in Washington D.C. while his mother is taking care of him.

Landon talks about how his father election slogan "was fairly sophisticated publicity."

He says that nowadays people would put foul language in the blank space but in the good ol' days  "we never saw it once."

Landon quickly backpedals and says "okay, maybe once."

A farmer from Duplin County once wrote the word shit in the blank space, and when my mom saw it, she covered my eyes and said a prayer asking for forgiveness for the poor ignorant bastard.

Nicholas Sparks is still trying to persuade me that 1950's was a wholesome utopia.

But I'm not convinced.

Every era of human history, no matter how fascinating or glamorous, has a dark side that people don't want to acknowledge. 

And I find it very hard to believe that Landon has never seen or heard foul language before. 

For instance, in middle school, I heard people say things that would make even a sailor blush. 

Since Landon's mother is ladylike, she "didn’t say exactly those words."

So my father, Mr. Congressman, was a big-wig, and everyone but everyone knew it, including old man Hegbert.

Landon claimed that daddy dearest was a "legend."

And Merriam-Webster defines a bigwig as "an important person"

So the words "everyone but everyone knew it" is redundant.

Worth Carter and Hegbert don't get along. But Worth still goes to Hegbert's church whenever he was in town.

Hegbert, in addition to his belief that fornicators were destined to clean the urinals in hell, also believed that communism was “a sickness that doomed mankind to heathenhood.”

I will bring this up if anyone claims that Hegbert is a good guy. 

One of the biggest problems with A Walk to Remember is plot mixing. 

What is plot mixing, you may ask?

Plot mixing is a term that I have coined. Plot mixing is when an artist takes at least two contradictory plots and they mix it together haphazardly, resulting in a ghastly mess. 

For instance, Hegbert is supposed to be a wonderful guy with a great sense of humor. But he is acting like a Bible-thumping minister. 

They also knew that he was directing his words specifically to my father, who would sit with his eyes closed and pretend not to listen.

I have just a quick question: why would Landon's dad go to a church where the minister despises him and makes pointed sermons?  

According to Landon, there are other churches in the area. So, why hasn't Worth Carter left Hegbert's church and joined another church?

It turns out that Landon's father belongs to the House of Un-American Activities Committee.

My father had consistently looked for facts, which were irrelevant to people like Hegbert.

IRL, I hate it when people think they are the gatekeepers of knowledge, truth, and wisdom.

They also claim that they have "facts" that support their worldviews.

If anyone who disagrees with them, then they are dumb sheep and a racist bigot.

Are we seriously supposed to see HUAC as the good guys? 

HUAC ruined people's lives and careers. And their actions violated the 1st and 5th Amendments of the Bill of Rights. 

Every time Landon's father would come home after the church service, he would complain about Reverend Sullivan.

My father tried to defuse situations whenever possible. I think that’s why he stayed in Congress for so long.

Like any politician, a congressperson gives people in high places verbal blowjobs and make promises that they have no intentions of keeping along with having goons to cover up their crimes.

The guy could kiss the ugliest babies known to mankind and still come up with something nice to say.

Are we supposed to applaud Landon's dad being nice to the "ugly" people?

“He’s such a gentle child,” he’d say when a baby had a giant head, or, “I’ll bet she’s the sweetest girl in the world,” if she had a birthmark over her entire face. One time a lady showed up with a kid in a wheelchair. My father took one look at him and said, “I’ll bet you ten to one that you’re smartest kid in your class.”

Fuck this book with a rusty screwdriver!

And he wasn’t such a bad guy, not really, especially if you consider the fact that he didn’t beat me or anything.

A parent is not supposed to abuse their children, you twat!

But he wasn’t there for me growing up.

In a better story, Landon being estranged from his father would be a source of conflict. 

And throughout the story, Landon would fix his broken relationship with his father.

But this is a shitty story, Landon will meet his designated one tru luv who is purer than Sir Galahad. 

Landon spends time with this girl and his relationship with Dad is magically mended. 

I hate to say that because nowadays people claim that sort of stuff even if their parent was around and use it to excuse their behavior. I’m not using it to excuse the person I’ve become, I’m simply saying it as a fact.

No, you did. 

You even said it "made me become something of a rebel."

My mother didn’t go with him because both of them wanted me to grow up “the same way they had.”

So they were raised by one parent?

Wait a tick... I think what Landon means is that his parents wanted him to grow up in a small town. 

And small towns tend to be politically conservative. 

As a member of HUAC, a married man living alone would raise more than a few eyebrows.

Especially since the nuclear family was considered the "ideal" family in 1950's.

Also during this time period, people wanted to uphold traditional family roles and values.   

I'm sure Worth Carter's political opponents would have a field day if they knew he wasn't a family man. 

And you can't tell me that in a Southern small-town that people won't gossip about a married woman raising a child all by herself and her husband is rarely home. 

Landon says that his grandfather spent time with his father and how that "adds up to quite a bit before adulthood."

Landon talks about how his father was "a stranger" and someone he "barely knew at all."

He also used to think that "all fathers lived somewhere else."

Landon says that one day his best friend Eric Hunter asks him "who that guy was who showed up at my house".

Landon replies that the man was his father "proudly."

“Oh,” Eric said as he rifled through my lunchbox, looking for my Milky Way, “I didn’t know you had a father.”

"People around town were saying that your mamma was a whore and has a beau."

Landon repeats the fact that he was raised by his mother.

Now she was a nice lady, sweet and gentle, the kind of mother most people dream about.

Because most people want their mother to be a cold-hearted bitch.

Does Landon seriously think that his mother deserves a medal for not being an asshole? 

And I'm getting the feeling that dear old mom is going to be a submissive housewife who never speaks her mind, makes sure the house is always immaculate and treats her husband like a king. 

But she wasn’t, nor could she ever be, a manly influence in my life, and that fact, coupled with my growing disillusionment with my father, made me become something of a rebel, even at a young age.

Where do I even begin?

According to Landon, women are incapable of doing/liking "manly" activities. 

Butch women or tomboys don't exist. ALL women love feminine things and are ladylike. 

And it takes a MAN to raise a "real" man.

The father is supposed to do "manly" activities with his son on a regular basis. And boys are supposed to do and like "manly" activities.

If the boy doesn't and becomes a delinquent, then he is a sissy and his mother is to blame.

Not a bad one, mind you.

This is a Nicholas Sparks novel.

He would never have a "protagonist" do bad things. He has a wholesome image to uphold.

They must be good as gold or be mildly delinquent.

Me and my friends might sneak out late and soap up car windows now and then or eat boiled peanuts in the graveyard behind the church, but in the fifties that was the kind of thing that made other parents shake their heads and whisper to their children, “You don’t want to be like that Carter boy. He’s on the fast track to prison.”

Contrary to what Nicholas Sparks might believe, the 1950's wasn't Leave it to Beaver.

For instance, people did phone pranks, threw cherry bombs or were stealing statues.

Me. A bad boy. For eating boiled peanuts in the graveyard. Go figure.

Landon repeats the fact that his father and Hegbert don't get along. But he says "it wasn’t only because of politics."

And then it happens.

It turns out that Worth Carter and Hegbert knew each other for a long time.

And Hegbert is twenty years older than Daddy Dearest and used to work for Landon's grandfather.

My grandfather— even though he spent lots of time with my father —was a true bastard if there ever was one.

I have a question, Landon. Does your grandfather only wears black clothing and has an evil laugh?

He was the one, by the way, who made the family fortune, but I don’t want you to imagine him as the sort of man who slaved over his business, working diligently and watching it grow, prospering slowly over time.

We get it, Nicholas Sparks. Landon's grandpa is more evil and greedy than all the robber barons.

Next, you'll be telling us that grandpa was a pedophile or kicked puppies for fun.

His grandfather was a bootlegger during the Prohibition, started buying land and then hired sharecroppers to work it.

Grandpa also took ninety percent of the money the sharecroppers made and loaned them money whenever they needed it at high-interest rates.

Grandpa is so EVIL he forecloses on any equipment or land they happen to own. Evil Grandpa...

No. From now on, I'm calling him Grandpa Beelzebub or GB.

GB started a bank called "Carter Banking and Loan."

The only other bank in a two-county radius had mysteriously burned down, and with the onset of the Depression, it never reopened.

The other bank didn't "mysteriously" burn down, you twit. GB had his goons torch the place.

Though everyone knew what had really happened, not a word was ever spoken for fear of retribution, and their fear was well placed.

So even the police were shaking in their boots?

The bank wasn't the only building that burned down.

Landon repeats the fact that Grandpa Beelzebub's interest rates "were outrageous." As time progresses, GB amasses more land and property.

He gets the original owners to continue working and pays them just enough money to "to keep them where they were, because they had nowhere else to go."

He told them that when the economy improved, he’d sell their business back to them, and people always believed him.

The townspeople know that GB used fear and intimidation to get what he wanted along with his shady business practices.

And they ALL believed that he would honor his promises. 

Never once, however, did he keep his promise. In the end he controlled a vast portion of the county’s economy, and he abused his clout in every way imaginable.

Ya know what?

There are so many times I can point out how Grandpa Beelzebub is cartoonishly evil so I'll let this gif speak for itself.

Grandpa Beelzebub died while having sex with his mistress on his yacht in the Cayman Islands. GB was also an old man.

He’d outlived both his wives and his only son.

If Daddy Dearest died before GB, he wouldn't be a prominent congressman.

And Landon would have never met his father. 

He would be visiting Daddy's grave and be raised by a widow. 

Life, I’ve learned, is never fair.

Marvel at how deep he is! No one has ever made such a wise statement.

Landon whines that it should be taught in school.

Hegbert, once he realized what a bastard my grandfather really was,

You mean arson and usury are not legal and moral? I never knew that!

Thanks for letting me know, Nicholas Sparks!

So, Hegbert quit working for GB and went into the ministry. Then he started ministering in the same church that Landon's family attended.

Hegbert spent some time "perfecting his fire-and brimstone act", giving monthly sermons on the evils of greed.

He was so busy Bible thumping that he had "scant time for anything else."

Hegbert was forty-three when he was married and his daughter Jamie was born when he was fifty-five.

Hegbert's wife was twenty-three years old and had six miscarriages before Jamie was born. She also died in childbirth.

Hence, of course, the story behind the play.

I love it when I'm right. And Hegbert is so arrogant if he thinks that everyone would want to see a play that is his thinly veiled life story.

People knew the story even before the play was first performed.

If it was any more obvious, the character Tom would be called Hegbert and be a minister.

It was one of those stories that made its rounds whenever Hegbert had to baptize a baby or attend a funeral.

Baptists don't baptize babies. They believe that only believers should be baptized and be fully immersed in the water.

Landon repeats the fact that everyone knew about Hegbert's story and says it is why people "got emotional" when they saw the play.

They knew it was based on something that happened in real life, which gave it special meaning.

So if a story isn't based on something that happened in real life, then it isn't special? Fuck you, Landon.

Jamie Sullivan was a senior in high school, just like me, and she’d already been chosen to play the angel, not that anyone else even had a chance.

I would be very surprised if Jamie WASN'T in the play.

After all, the play was written by her father and is a thinly veiled story about her dad losing her mom.

And real subtle, Nicholas Sparks.

A saintly girl is going to play an angel. 

Thank God, Jamie isn't named Sunshine Goodness. 

Jamie playing the angel is going to make the play "extra special" and how it is going to be a "big deal" especially for Miss Garber.

Miss Garber is the drama teacher and she was excited "the first time I met her in class."

Landon admits that he really didn't want to take drama class but it was "either that or chemistry II."  

No papers, no tests, no tables where I’d have to memorize protons and neutrons and combine elements in their proper formulas … what could possibly be better for a high school senior?

How about lunch? All you have to do is eat and socialize.

It seemed like a sure thing, and when I signed up for it, I thought I’d just be able to sleep through most every class, which, considering my late night peanut eating, was fairly important at the time.

Why am I getting the feeling that "late night peanut eating" is a euphemism for sex? Because eating peanuts is not a strenuous thing to do...

Landon arrives before the bell rang and sits in the back of the room.

Miss Garber had her back turned to the class, and she was busy writing her name in big cursive letters, as if we didn’t know who she was.

You just said that you met Miss Garber for the first time in class.

Now you are saying that you already knew her.

Which is it, Landon? 

All these contradictions are giving me a headache. 

Everyone knew her—it was impossible not to.

"She was bludgeoned with the ugly stick."

Am I the only one who thinks this comment is catty?

She was big, at least six feet two, with flaming red hair and pale skin that showed her freckles well into her forties.

The word "tall" seems like a better fit. 

Big is used to describe the size of something.

While "tall" refers to the height of something.

I seriously hope that Landon isn't saying that this woman is "ugly". 

She was also overweight—I’d say honestly she pushed two fifty—and she had a fondness for wearing flower patterned muumuus. She had thick, dark, horn-rimmed glasses, and she greeted everyone with, “Helloooooo,” sort of singing the last syllable.

Translation: she's a fat Julia Child who wears glasses.  

From now on, I shall call Miss Garber Julia Child.

Miss Garber was one of a kind, that’s for sure, and she was single, which made it even worse.

Stop! Do not pass go! Do not collect $200!

A guy, no matter how old, couldn’t help but feel sorry for a gal like her.

Because after all, beauty on the outside is the only thing that matters. 

Being a good human being and having a nice personality is overrated. 

Later on, Landon complains that "the pickings were getting pretty slim" and how he doesn't want to be stuck bringing an "ugly" girl to the homecoming dance (i.e.  girls who have thick glasses or have lisps.)

People praise Nicholas Sparks for writing wholesome fiction that has life lessons and good morals. 

But I would rather read a story that has swearing (Ow! My virgin ears!) or graphic sex (gasp!) than a story with shitty messages and it is written by a pretentious writer who believes that they write literary masterpieces. 

Julia Child writes the three goals that she wants to accomplish: self-confidence, self-awareness, and self-fulfillment.

Landon remarks that she was "into the 'self' stuff."

Maybe it had something to do with the way she looked; maybe she was just trying to feel better about herself. But I digress.

It wasn’t until the class started that I noticed something unusual.

"Everyone wore black cloaks and pledged their allegiance to Satan."

Landon is surprised that the class is "at least ninety percent female" because he "knew for a fact" that school is split 50/50 between boys and girls.

There was only one other male in the class, which to my thinking was a good thing, and for a moment I felt flush with a “look out world, here I come” kind of feeling.

The schools in Beaufort NC have excellent math programs...

I don't feel like spending hours trying to look up the average high school class size in North Carolina during the 1950's.

So I'll be using the current average high school class size in North Carolina.

According to this, the average class size for secondary school (high school) in North Carolina is 25.8 students.

Let's say there are twenty-six students in the drama class. 

91% of 26 would be 23.66

Approximately, there would be 23 girls and 3 boys. 

Besides Landon, there would be two other boys in the classroom.

Girls, girls, girls … I couldn’t help but think. Girls and girls and no tests in sight.

It is good to know that Landon is thinking with his head and not with his dick.

Okay, so I wasn’t the most forward-thinking guy on the block.

Anita Blake Logic # 2: If you say something wrong, act like you are feeling guilty.

You DON'T try to be a better person and APOLOGIZE to the person/people that you have hurt. No one EVER calls you out on your shit.

So Julia Child talks about the play and tells everyone that Jamie is going to play the angel.

She starts clapping and it turns out that she is a member of Landon's church.

And there were a lot of people who thought she was gunning for Hegbert in a romantic sort of way. The first time I heard it, I remember thinking that it was a good thing they were too old to have children, if they ever did get together. Imagine—translucent with freckles?

The very thought gave everyone shudders, but of course, no one ever said anything about it, at least within hearing distance of Miss Garber and Hegbert.

So everyone is an asshole and gossips like fishwives?

Gossip is one thing, hurtful gossip is completely another, and even in high school we weren’t that mean.

"Like Duloc, the South is a perfect place!"

I'm sorry but I don't believe that a high school with no cliques and everyone is nice exists. 

Landon is a douchebag and so are his friends. 

Also, how is gossiping about Thank God Hegbert and Julia Child can't reproduce count as not being "mean"?

And the townspeople talk about Hegbert's wife having multiple miscarriages and dying in childbirth...

And for a novel that is so friggin' preachy by constantly talking about God's plan/the Lord's plan and quoting Bible verses...

It doesn't realize that the Good Book doesn't view gossip as a venial sin while "hurtful" gossip is a mortal sin.

The Bible denounces it.

Julia Child keeps on clapping until everyone finally joined in. She orders Jamie to stand up.

Jamie stands up and turns around. Julia Child is clapping even faster to which Landon snidely remarks "as if she were standing in the presence of a bona fide movie star."

Now Jamie Sullivan was a nice girl. She really was.

Translation: It's a pleasant way to say that she isn't attractive.

Landon talks about the town only has one elementary school so everyone has been "in the same classes our entire lives."

He admits to having a "few conversations" with Jamie.

Who I saw in school was one thing; who I saw after school was something completely different, and Jamie had never been on my social calendar.

"She is not worthy to stand before me!"

It’s not that Jamie was unattractive— don’t get me wrong. She wasn’t hideous or anything like that.

"Inner beauty is overrated!"

Landon reluctantly admits that Jamie "wasn't half-bad." But he doesn't consider her to be attractive.

Despite the fact that she was thin, with honey blond hair and soft blue eyes, most of the time she looked sort of … plain, and that was when you noticed her at all.

Because having fair skin, blonde hair, and blue eyes were NEVER considered to be signs of beauty.

And I really hate it when a character is "TV ugly".

Especially when it is combined with this. 

Jamie didn’t care much about outward appearances, because she was always looking for things like “inner beauty,” and I suppose that’s part of the reason she looked the way she did.

I love how inner beauty is put in quotes. As if the concept is absolute horse shit.

For as long as I’d known her—and this was going way back, remember— she’d always worn her hair in a tight bun, almost like a spinster, without a stitch of makeup on her face.

This statement is obnoxious because later on in the story Jamie will be described as beautiful even when she is dying of a terminal illness.

Jamie wears frumpy clothes and everyone thought it was "just a phase".

But it wasn’t just the way Jamie looked that made her different; it was also the way she acted.

"She acted like an Angel of the House: innocent, perfect, and pure."

Jamie never went to slumber parties or had a boyfriend.

Old Hegbert would probably have had a heart attack if she had.

Hegbert would have denounced his daughter as a harlot before killing her.

Jamie carried her Bible wherever she went, and if her looks and Hegbert didn’t keep the boys away, the Bible sure as heck did.

"It couldn't possibly be that her father is a Bible-thumping asshat."

Now, I liked the Bible as much as the next teenage boy,

Translation: not at all.

but Jamie seemed to enjoy it in a way that was completely foreign to me.

"She reads it from cover to cover."

Not only did she go to vacation Bible school every August, but she would read the Bible during lunch break at school.

This is Nicholas Spark's "subtle" way of telling us that Jamie is a good person. Because she reads the Bible.

Landon thinks Jamie is abby normal. How romantic.

No matter how you sliced it, reading Paul’s letters to the Ephesians wasn’t nearly as much fun as flirting, if you know what I mean.

Because flirting is a lot of fun!

If I didn't know any better, I'd say flirting is a code word for sex... 

But one of Nicholas Sparks' writing rules is that his teenage characters never have premarital sex. 

But Jamie didn’t stop there. I knew she volunteered at the orphanage in Morehead City, but for her that simply wasn’t enough.

Let me guess. Jamie is SO good that she is going to help baby animals and solve world hunger.

She was always in charge of one fund-raiser or another, helping everyone from the Boy Scouts to the Indian Princesses, and I know that when she was fourteen, she spent part of her summer painting the outside of an elderly neighbor’s house. Jamie was the kind of girl who would pull weeds in someone’s garden without being asked or stop traffic to help little kids cross the road. She’d save her allowance to buy a new basketball for the orphans, or she’d turn around and drop the money into the church basket on Sunday.

Ho-lee fuck! Where do I even begin?

There is no such thing as a Native American princess.

Nobody is perfect. But according to Nicholas Sparks Landon, Jamie is practically perfect in every way. 

Jamie is NEVER depicted as having any flaws. She is always nice to everyone and always never does anything wrong.

She was, in other words, the kind of girl who made the rest of us look bad, and whenever she glanced my way, I couldn’t help but feel guilty, even though I hadn’t done anything wrong.

You are a douchebag who makes snide comments.

Nor did Jamie limit her good deeds to people. If she ever came across a wounded animal, for instance, she’d try to help it, too. Opossums, squirrels, dogs, cats, frogs … it didn’t matter to her.

We get it, Sparks. Jamie is a paragon of virtue. Stop talking.

With Jamie, everything was in the Lord’s plan. That was another thing. She always mentioned the Lord’s plan whenever you talked to her, no matter what the subject.

I get it, Sparks.

Jamie is a saintly person. 

And Jesus is love, Jesus is life.

Landon tells us that Jamie thinks she is "so blessed to have a father like mine."

He thinks "what planet she actually came from."

Despite all these other strikes, though, the one thing that really drove me crazy about her was the fact that she was always so damn cheerful, no matter what was happening around her.

In real life, a person who is ALWAYS cheerful is depressed.

But this is a Nicholas Sparks novel. 

So Jamie is cheerful like a Disney princess. 

Thank God, Jamie doesn't break into song.

I swear, that girl never said a bad thing about anything or anyone, even to those of us who weren’t that nice to her.

Translation: Jamie is a female version of Jesus Christ.

Landon keeps going on about how nice Jamie is.

All the adults "adored" her and ladies would "come running out of their house" if they see Jamie walking by.

I was thinking about all this while Jamie stood in front of us on the first day of drama class, and I admit that I wasn’t much interested in seeing her.

For a girl that Landon despises, he won't stop talking about her.

But strangely, when Jamie turned to face us, I kind of got a shock, like I was sitting on a loose wire or something.

It is bad enough that Nicholas Sparks is forcing a romance between two characters and will claim that they are soulmates...

Now he has them feeling an instant electric connection.  

What’s next? Will fireworks go off? Will cherubs start to sing?

She wore a plaid skirt with a white blouse under the same brown cardigan sweater I’d seen a million times, but there were two new bumps on her chest that the sweater couldn’t hide that I swore hadn’t been there just three months earlier.

I'll give three guesses and the first two don't count. 

It isn't surprising since a lot of Nicholas Sparks' novels are renowned for having contrived "tragic" endings in which someone (usually the love interest) dies.

She’d never worn makeup and she still didn’t, but she had a tan, probably from Bible school, and for the first time she looked—well, almost pretty.

If "almost pretty" isn't a backhanded compliment, I don't know what is.

Landon quickly "dismissed" the thought.

But as she looked around the room, she stopped and smiled right at me, obviously glad to see that I was in the class.

Smiling is an expression that shows happiness, affection, etc. 

She shouldn't be happy to see him. 

The guy mocks her and avoids her like the plague. 

But Sparks told us that Jamie is made up of sugar, spice, and everything nice.

It wasn’t until later that I would learn the reason why.

[mitchbeck]

CANTLON'S CORNER: XL CENTER IS A MESS

BY: Gerry Cantlon, Howlings HARTFORD, CT - Just when you thought the XL Center train was on the tracks and heading for the station, something comes up to derail it. This time, it's potentially fatal. Last Wednesday's late-in-the-day press conference by Governor Ned Lamont where he announced he was forgoing his highway tolls plan but is instead funding the entire state transportation bill on the state’s credit card via bonding. That would force every other pending bonding package proposal, which includes the XL Center, to be sidelined. The bulk of money this year and going foward would be swallowed up by Lamont's transportation plan leaving only a small portion for other projects. The XL Center is not a tiny budgetary matter. Another year without funding and movement toward actually starting the very necessary reboot could, in fact, doom the XL Center The Governor's announcement came a day before the CRDA, the managing entity of the XL Center, was set to reveal a study, requested by the Governor from CSL International, as a market study to show the viability of a new arena under its Lower Bowl strategy. The timing could not have been worse. “As of this time there is no change in the Governor's position and this decision is way above my pay grade. There are a lot of big people on board (for the XL Center bonding request) a lot of things are happening behind the scenes," said Michael W, Freimuth, the CRDA Executive Director. "There are a lot of priorities and variety of projects that are under consideration by the Governor. I’ll let the process play out. I’m not into hypotheticals at this point, so I will the reserve any comment right now,” On the CSL report, which brings a mixed bag of news for the CRDA and the XL Center project, Freimuth was more than open in discussing its impact and the path going forward. The CRDA is in its seventh year of trying to remodel and re-boot the aging 45-year-old XL Center, which was originally built and opened in 1975. “I’m not surprised at anything that came out of the study. It was in alignment with what we know about the building. The revenue would be dramatically improved by making the investment in the building. Will it run as a negative? Yes, but it would be a lot less that were paying now.” The report says they can reduce the budget shortfall to a margin within $300,000 to $500,000 whereas currently the number fluctuates between $1.5 to $3 million. “The study was conservative in its projections and we asked them (CSL) to deal with what we have today. Future revenue streams were not calculated into this such as sports betting, e-sports, entertainment zone, in and around the XL Center, naming rights, and other sponsorship opportunities that could present themselves in the future," Freimuth stated. "That could add to the current taxes the city and state derive from the XL Center and could be a boom for the  primary tenants and drive the deficit down. This morning before I spoke with you, I authorized the transfer of money from the parking garage account, which is legal, of a million and half dollars to cover the operating deficit at the XL Center. That is the reality of the XL Center.” One of the critical basis of the report was to assess the feasibility of driving private capital money to help offset the state's check-writing. Not surprisingly, the answer came up short of what others who have expressed skepticism about the XL Center as a whole. That would be the other town and cities whose political delegations have very leery about more investment in the XL Center and Hartford in general, while they believe their needs are not being met in their towns and cities. “To bring in a return enough to attract private capital didn’t emerge. I’m not surprised. We tried it a year-and-a-half ago and we got one respondent who wanted 7.5% interest back on their investment over a considerable period of time. We can operate and do well in our market, but we're not the big boys, MSG, TD Garden, Staples Center, Cowboys Stadium, who have a vastly different formula and space to they operate in. The type of buildings we can compete with and set our rates to are multi-dimensional and have other unique characteristics. This is an arena that has a market, however those who think private capital is going to invest the numbers we need and which we can generate revenue, doesn’t fit their equation. This a public domain facility. Either we make the (investment) or we're gonna start losing things, in fact some of that has begun.” UCONN men and women’s basketball, and ice hockey, as well as the AHL's Hartford Wolf Pack, are the main tenants of the building. The landscape hasn’t changed, but the study says the financial landscape can change with the investment  in the building, but the model requires public dollars not private. “The model with the premium seating class we developed along with improvement in concessions operations and the other high-tech aspects that we don’t have now in the building. That will improve the dollars coming back and make it more profitable on an individual basis. We are competing against on-campus facilities that are used differently than the XL. We’re a full-season building, some of them are not. We have a full calendar. They often have half the calendar we do. We do believe we can get UCONN an agreement with different type of revenue that we have now and produce better revenue going forward once we have the investment in the building,” said Freimuth. The building's electrical, mechanical, and plumbing needs are vast and numerous. Freimuth was not shy about what the daily demands of the XL Center are. “Our repair bills are going up. The general exception to the rules, repairs are now being magnified…in all areas. We're struggling. We're treading water. The state is having to write bigger and bigger checks every year. The band aids we put on are coming off. We're hemorrhaging (money) right now. "The alternative of shutting it down seems feasible to a lot of people. We can continue to wobble along, but what does that say to those who attend events? The people who work at the events? The people who promote the event, and the people who pay the freight? Nobody is happy at the moment. We’ve talked enough. We’ve done enough studies and analysis. It’s time to fish-or-cut-bait,” Freimuth, who after seven long years seems to have reached his pique, said and continued on. “We've gone through multiple consultants and they all have come to the same conclusion about the building. It has to be re-done and re-booted. Very simple. We are not going to survive on the formula we are using today. We drive tax dollars, drive hotel and restaurant business. You have a building that we're asking for a $100 million investment in. We have made hundreds of millions of housing investments, leveraged $300 million in other services including the rail station. After preaching to corporate America for years in making an urban setting more attractive to younger workers and families. we're just gonna give up on the biggest entertainment center for the city? Give up on the XL Center? How do you rationalize that?" Freimuth unplugged wasn’t done yet. “You just brought a building for $200 million dollars (NoDo project), but you won’t give us a $100 million? Why are you asking us to do this? This a public domain facility. I can’t stress that enough and this Is very frustrating.” The near future he paints is not a pretty picture. “Right now, pick a crisis. At 10 PM we get a call that a fuse went out and half the concessions are out or half the building needs to be closed for one reason or another. Twenty people get stuck in an elevator during a fire. This might come our way. We have things breaking down now that we can’t get parts for them because they don’t make them anymore. We have dodged a lot of crises. It's like having a 40-year-old roof on your house and the roof is leaking. You can’t be surprised- you gotta fix it.” The work that is going on downtown is substantial, and the cause and effect of the XL Center are real. “Look at the work we're doing around the XL Center. We're at a crossroads. Go out Pratt Street and Capitol Avenue and then go down Allyn Street. The work being done there is fantastic. Then go South toward Bushnell (Park). Then head North to Orange and Trumbull all the way to the ballpark (Dunkin Donuts Park). You go by the XL Center both ways. Housing and business linked and stitched together and right in the middle of it, it's the XL Center. You build those four branches and cut the tree down leaving the spot empty? It doesn’t make sense?” This funding issue could be an issue with the installation of the new chiller system planned for this summer. “We're going ahead. Out of the 115-120 events, we have a year 60 are ice-related. We have no choice. The bids are in. We are in the process of reviewing them and we hope to select somebody in the next couple of weeks, formalize a contract and make our plans. It's another long overdue project.” The new generations of arena buildings are going up or are in the planning stages. In Long Island (Belmont Park), Seattle, San Jose, Palm Springs, Arizona State, to name a few, or others are being retro-fitted to be modernized (Webster Bank Arena in Bridgeport will require that in the next two years). The train is about to leave the station and the XL Center could be left behind. Read the full article

[geekywritings]

Rise of a Queen - Nikolai Lantsov x OC PART 12

The end of the war could have marked the perfect beginning of a fairytale for Nikolai and Taya. He was Tsar, the Darkling had been defeated, Ravka could finally breathe again and the couple could start focusing on their relationship. But the reality was no fairytale.

Only days after the crown had been placed on Nikolai's head, he became swept up in the responsibilities of a ruler. Endless meetings, balls, travels, and negotiations began, along with the much-needed rebuilding of the cities that had suffered during recent times. Whenever he was in the palace, there was always someone there requesting his attention or calling him to a meeting or following him with paperwork. Though more often than not, Nikolai was absent from the capital, traveling around his kingdom to meet his people and mend relations with West Ravka. It felt as if sleep or a peaceful meal had become a luxury a king could not afford.

Taya wasn't fairing much better. She tried to help Nikolai whenever she could, but she was soon also swept up in the Saadovska affairs. She had inherited the family fortune, but also her father's businesses. And there were more of them than she had ever expected! Not only did her family own several remarkable fabric businesses in Ravka, they also held shares of companies in Fjerda and Shu Han and had close business ties with Kerch traders. Furthermore, there was more land in her family's possession than anyone in all of Ravka could even imagine, including large estates and even simply lands for agriculture. It was so much that Taya spent a good few weeks trying to wrap her hand around it all before starting correspondence with her father's former business partners. Some of them were kind and understanding, but there were also those, who refused to work with a woman or tried to cheat her. For Taya this meant a lot of studying. She would spend many nights in the library, reading up on economics and business practices or former contracts until Nikolai would come and carry her back to bed after she had fallen asleep. Whenever he was not around, this task fell to Andrej or one of the twins.

Ultimately, the couple didn't have much time for romance. Ravka was like a child that required constant attention and within the first years, Nikolai and Taya felt burnt out. Yet at the same time, they couldn't feel happier. The country was flourishing, steadily gaining stability, military strength and even some recognition. So although Taya was usually the one pushing them to work more, it was her who announced one morning: "We need a break."

Nikolai had returned from a long journey to the West just the day before and still looked incredibly tired even after a good night of sleep. "What do you suggest?", he asked, his face still half-buried in the pillow. "That we run away?"

Taya chuckled, as she sat up, running a hand through his hair. "I don't think we'd get very far.", she admitted. "But I do think we can take a vacation for a couple of days without Ravka falling apart again. Besides, there is this small estate by the sea I want to visit."

"Estate by the sea?" Now Nikolai's curiosity had been piqued and he slowly half sat up as well, hazel eyes staring at her full of interest.

"Yes, apparently it has been in my family's possession for quite some time. My great great grandfather bought it for easier business with the local fishing industry. And it would be my chance to see the ocean for the first time."

Although she had joined Nikolai on several of his journeys, none of them had taken her all the way to the sea, which she longed to finally visit. "Let's do it.", Nikolai agreed, suddenly fully invested in the idea. "We will tell everyone today and be on our way by the evening."

Taya loved his enthusiasm and spontaneous nature and she nodded enthusiastically. "I will take care of packing.", she said, already mentally going over everything they would need for the short trip.

It was with a newfound energy that the two started their day, making sure that everyone knew about their departure, while also preparing for the journey. Tolya and Tamar insisted on coming along, but Nikolai refused. He wanted some time alone with Taya and where they were going, they would need neither servants nor bodyguards, he figured.

Everyone was so taken aback by the Tsar's sudden decision that nobody had much time to argue or raise concerns. And by evening, Nikolai and Taya were ready to depart. They hadn't packed much and could easily take one of Nikolai's smaller aircrafts, where he took care of navigation, while Taya kept the airship going. Traveling at night was difficult, but also much safer.

The sun hadn't even risen when they arrived at the small estate on a hill, overseeing the sea and the nearby fishing town. It was a two-story building beaten by the rough coastal weather, but still in good condition. Surrounding it was a garden full of wildflowers and tall grass. It was clear that nobody had tended to this place in quite some time. Using the key she had found in her father's study, filed correctly to the matching estate, Taya opened the door, revealing a dusty hallway, smelling of sea salt and stuffy air. At least they found that the place was equipped with working lights.

Leaving their luggage in the hallway, Nikolai and Taya just explored, opening all windows to air out the place. There was a parlor downstairs, as well as a study, a kitchen, three servant rooms, and a storage chamber. Upstairs were bathrooms and generous bedrooms, offering a stunning view of the ocean. The sunsets from this place would be quite the sight, Taya thought.

The furniture had been covered in sheets to prevent them from dusting, but they would still need to air out all linens, pillows and covers the next day. "Seems like your ancestors were quite the passionate sailors", Nikolai announced, as he joined Taya upstairs. He had found some old photographs and paintings in the study, showing her grandfather and great grandfather in this estate together with sea captains or standing in front of ships themselves.

Taya looked at them with interest, seeing them for the first time. "I didn't know that. But maybe it explains why I always wanted to go to sea.", she ran a finger over one of the photographs, realizing how much her grandfather resembled her father. A pang of pain shot through her, but she didn't allow it to take over. She would make her family proud by doing her best to carry on their legacy instead of shedding tears.

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After two days, Nikolai and Taya had settled into their little sea estate. Seeing as the linen had continued to smell of stuffy room, Taya had simply brought fresh ones in town. Not wanting any servants to disturb their peace, the couple took care of everything themselves and Taya discovered that she knew nothing about actual housekeeping. But it was fun to learn and try, even though the first meal she attempted to cook ended up being more burnt than edible.

Nikolai caught some fish, which they roasted over a fire and that tasted better than anything Taya had eaten in a while. Still, they decided to start eating in town to be among people and see what they lived like. Taya had bought some local clothes, allowing the two to blend in and for Nikolai to go unrecognized. It was lovely, living a normal life without duties or burdens.

"One day, when we are old and grey, I hope we can sit here and watch the sunset as well.", Taya said on the last evening of their stay, when the two were sitting in front of the house by the cliff, waiting for the sun to turn the ocean into the stunning shades of orange and purple Taya admired.

Nikolai smiled at her. It would be a lovely future indeed. "And who will be running Ravka?"

"Not us, for sure.", she replied with a laugh. "I suppose it would be our son."

A son. Nikolai had never thought about children before. He had been too busy being Sturmhond, getting the crown, fighting a civil war or just being Tsar. But now that she had said it, the vision would not leave his head. What would their son look like? Would his hair be darker? And whose eyes would he inherit? He hoped it would be his mothers, for he loved the blue more than he could put into words. He also hoped he would have Taya's personality, far more suitable for a ruler.

"If we do have a son, let's name him Mikhail. After my father.", she suddenly added. It was common for a prince to carry the name of a former ruler, an ancestor from the father's side, but Taya was ready to break with that tradition.

"Mikhail... I like it.", Nikolai said finally, his arm sneaking around Taya, as she leaned her head against his shoulder. "Though if he ends up anything like us as children, I feel sorry for us already." Both laughed and then just enjoyed the spectacular colors of the sunset before them.

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After the trip, Nikolai returned to work with newfound purpose and energy. He wanted to build a strong Ravka for the people and for the future. He wanted a stable country should he and Taya indeed have a son one day. He was also more determined than ever to finally marry the woman, who had been by his side for so long.

"I have an important task for you.", he announced, as Genya entered his office one afternoon. "But I must ask for utter discretion."

"Of course.", the redhead vowed, looking more and more intrigued.

"I need you to plan something"

"A Wedding?!", Genya almost squealed. "Your wedding?!"

Nikolai didn't even have a chance to answer before Genya rushed forward, both hands slamming on his desk. "I have everything thought out already.", she announced. "I have been planning this since your coronation. It needs to be a grand affair, of course. Worthy of a Tsar. But it definitely needs personal elements. I'm thinking of a lot of blue highlights to symbolize your time at sea and Taya being a Grisha and..."

"Genya... Genya.. slow down.", Nikolai spoke, even though he felt almost guilty interrupting her. She seemed so excited and he was glad to know that he had so many people behind him.

"Oh, I apologize."

Nikolai smiled, shaking his head. "No need. But what I specifically want from you is a design for a ring. Traditionally, Taya would get the Lantsov Emerald, but that is off the table.", he explained. "But I don't just wanna choose something from the treasury. I want something especially made for her. Something meaningful."

So it wasn't a wedding, but Genya was still excited nevertheless. "Oh, I will think of something!" It would be blue, she thought, but it definitely needed elements of green to hint at the traditional emerald. Without a second to waste she got to work, while Nikolai went back to planning on how he could ask Taya to marry him again.

The last proposal had been a lousy one, he thought. Absolutely not worthy of a future Queen and especially not worthy of someone like Taya. She wouldn't like an over-the-top gesture, he figured, but it had to be special nevertheless. Perhaps the finished ring would offer more inspiration.

He had no idea that he would not be asking Taya for quite some time...