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bonefall · 7 months

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Clear Sky is a Monster.

Of all the characters in Warrior Cats, I think Clear Sky was the most heavily mishandled.

At every turn, the narrative begs you to sympathize with him, to "understand" the "misunderstood." To this end, his brother Gray Wing is used to "keep faith" in his inherent goodness, his abused son, Thunder, is forced to go back to him over and over, and his second dead wife is completely lobotomized in death to absolve him of all sin.

Because of this, of all this set-up for the "redemption" arc they're trying to tell in the last three books, DOTC is Clear Sky's story. Everything primarily exists to benefit and serve his arc. Thunder and Gray Wing might have POVs, but HE is the character who truly drives the plot. So in order to HAVE conflict for that back half, two evil foreign cats, Slash and One Eye, are summoned to act as contrast.

Their narrative purpose is to display "true evil" to make Clear Sky look less bad in comparison. Unfortunately, Clear Sky is the most malignant, deadly character who has ever blighted Warrior Cats.

The "pure evil" examples they summon aren't effective contrasts because they're flat. Clear Sky is what real abusers look like.

His rhetoric is what it sounds like when a cult leader is trying to keep control over a group. He lies when it benefits him, justifies his actions with his tragic backstory to assuage his guilt and manipulate others, and violently lashes out when his feelings are hurt before blaming his victim for making him angry.

He only made "some mistakes" in that SOME of his actions were accidents-- the vast majority of them were malicious, self-absorbed, intentional choices to punish, hurt, and kill others.

I've spoken about Bumble. I've tallied his body count next to Tigerstar. I've talked about how his infant son's death was his fault in sequel books, and called attention to the infected wound face shoving scene that no one talks about. I can't fit every detail into a single post-- because he's so rancid that I would practically be posting entire books.

So what I want to do here is tackle the heart of Clear Sky. Everything he does, everything he's motivated by, is absolute and utter control over other people. He leverages his "trauma" to evoke empathy from his targets to make them easier to manipulate. He's a dirty liar. He breaks down to physical violence when all other tactics stop working.

He's one of the most severe and realistic abusers I've ever read about outside of very adult literature-- and when I read the reasons why he's attracted to Star Flower, my stomach immediately lurched.

The Killing of Misty

Starvation Rhetoric and the Memory of Fluttering Bird

Aside; a question

Hunger as a punishment; he doesn't care about starvation

Exoneration arc

Predation: Star Flower is a replacement for his son.

I think that index is an evocative content warning. But to say it again; this post contains child and domestic abuse, physical assault, public humiliation, incestuous grooming implications, and a lot of murder.

I need to start with the death of Misty. I see a few people saying that Clear Sky killed her for "being on his land" or trespassing, but this is actually a misstatement that I feel is important to correct.

Misty and her children were on their own land. It was her house. Clear Sky killed her to take it.

This is one of the most important details to remember about Clear Sky, that this is the consistent end point of his obsessive need for power and control. By harassment, by violence, or by death, he will brutalize anyone who does not give him what he wants, or who makes him feel bad, and find some way to justify it.

This territory expansion was for no logical reason. There was plenty of food and plenty of land. Any aggression that's happening on this territory is in response to how he's been stealing land and mauling people.

When it's found out she was fighting to defend her children, Clear Sky's immediate response is to slaughter them too.

Petal doesn't have milk either. It wasn't about the logistics. He wanted to kill the kids, because looking at them made him feel bad, and she just managed to stop him.

Starvation Rhetoric and the Image of Fluttering Bird

It is often said that Clear Sky is doing this because he's "traumatized" from how his little sister, Fluttering Bird, starved to death in the mountains. That the emotion came from wanting to feed people. That's incorrect. It wasn't about food. Fluttering Bird's death, and all the "starvation" he's faced, are used as manipulation tactics to guilt, influence, and control other characters, particularly when he might meet resistance or be held accountable for something.

It was always, ALWAYS, about control.

He does not care about actually helping people; "Starvation Rhetoric" through Fluttering Bird is an image he can invoke to justify the actions that are as bloody and cruel as the one this post starts off with. Either in his own mind, or in the minds of the cats he's manipulating.

He does this to Falling Feather, before slicing her face open in anger when she doesn't buy it. He does it to Rainswept Flower, before he strangles her to death. And he does it in the chapter just before Misty's murder, both to his Clan and then to Thunder,

Clear Sky climbed up in front of an entire crowd and gave a grand speech about hunger and "adjusting" the borders around territory he plans to conquer. When he gets to "forgiveness" he feigns pain to make his point because he is performing. If the sentiment is not a total lie, then at bare minimum, he is intentionally playing this up for the crowd.

He is rallying the Clan to support his violence against the cats whose land he wants to steal, and selling it with his life's hardships.

The audience is clearly well-trained, because several cats recognize the cue, particularly Frost who is praised for loudly comforting him. This signals "loyalty" because showing your sympathy towards his "suffering" is how this type of emotional manipulation works. It creates a persecuted, righteous in-group.

He's also apparently used this tactic before, since this entire crowd knows what "I Would Never Forgive Myself " means.

He's made sycophants out of his followers. Like a cult leader.

His abused son, however, hasn't been fully indoctrinated yet. Seeing Thunder uncomfortable with the idea of expanding the borders for no reason, Clear Sky calls him over for a personal propaganda session.

Clear Sky begins the exchange by calling this a "duty" and a "great honor." Immediately framing what he plans to do as righteous.

He puts on the act when Thunder shows resistance, dramatically pausing to let the guilt trip sink in.

"Thunder waited, realizing that he said the wrong thing."

And then Clear Sky launches into infantilizing Thunder, talking down to him like a child who's too inexperienced to see the "signs of starvation," acting like he's being "patient" in "explaining" it.

And then we get it. "I know what starvation looks like (so stop trusting your own eyes) because I have been through more than you (so shut up and do what I tell you), and I'm being a HERO for what I'm about to do (so opposing me would make you a bad person)."

Thanks to these crocodile tears, looking "moved," the act works. The victim is immediately wracked by guilt because the abuser seems genuinely emotional.

He even lovebombs him over the corpse of Misty in the next chapter, making Thunder feel threatened.

Thunder doesn't have the words to describe what is happening to him, but he knows that this sudden snap to praise isn't natural. That something is very wrong.

A Question.

Before I move on to show that this IS an act, and that he is lying about how important avoiding starvation is to him, I will ask a question. Please think about it, because I promise I mean it genuinely;

Why does it matter if Clear Sky actually believes this or not?

The victims are just as dead either way, yes? Thunder is just as abused and guilt tripped. The entire Clan has been driven towards violence while coddling and cooing at their Supreme Leader. Clear Sky is slowly annexing the entire forest. If you have ever accepted that he had "good intentions" as an excuse for the harm he did, or that abuse and murder was what he imagined was "the right thing," or that his trauma justifies the way he leverages his own pain to make cats do what he wants... why do you think that?

Why does that make it morally better, as the narrative concludes? Would you accept the same for every other WC villain or antagonist? Tigerstar? Slash? Tom the Wifebeater? Brokenstar? Rainflower?

How could you tell the difference, if you couldn't read their actual thoughts on the page? ...are there any other "good intentions" you've accepted, somewhere else?

Don't share that answer with me. It's a question for you. Sit with it.

Hunger as a punishment; he doesn't care about starvation.

...but, regardless, Clear Sky is not deluded about starvation. It's a justification for his obsessive need for control, and always has been. There was no shortage before stealing Misty's land and kits, he is fully aware that there's more prey than they can eat.

He punishes Falling Feather with hunger and harassment for thought crime, by briefly thinking of leaving. But first, he invokes Fluttering Bird at her like he did before, flying into a screeching fit of rage when she doesn't buy it,

"I'm sorry I hurt you... BUT" is THE wifebeater phrase. THE stereotypical line of a domestic abuser. "I'm sorry I hit you... but it's your fault for making me so angry."

She went through the same exact starvation he did, calls out that he's just framing his greed as being for the collective benefit of his subjects, and is assaulted for that.

When we're in his head, we see his REAL concerns are not about hunger. He invoked Fluttering Bird to try and make her shut up and bow down to him; what he's focused on is her "gossiping" and "whining" about the open wound he left on her face. He's still furious at Fircone and Nettle for how Thunder QUESTIONED him. So he will "strengthen their commitment."

When "starvation" DOES enter his thoughts, it is to assuage his own guilt and JUSTIFY what he already did. What he already WANTS to do. It's post-hoc.

He had to suppress his own guilt at how his greed and ambition made these children into orphans, completely unable to admit that he's ever been wrong or has a change to make, so he invokes the starvation rhetoric at himself to excuse it. So he feels less bad.

Everything, EVERYTHING, in this confrontation is about his pleasure at being able to torment his subordinates. To continue the abuse when the initial confrontation is over. If it isn't pride in his power and control over them, it's plain sadism.

He invokes starvation in front of the crowd, again, after being pleasured at the guilt in her eyes, hoping that everyone sees her writhing with shame and embarrassment. Fear wasn't at the root of why he assaulted Falling Feather; rage was, and now he feels better that he got to humiliate the person who offended him.

Starvation Rhetoric is a manipulation tactic.

It goes RIGHT BACK to his twisted idea of "loyalty." Obedience.

A cat who's actually, primarily concerned about starvation wouldn't encourage other cats to steal her food if they feel like it. He wouldn't be using it as a weapon to retaliate against her because she hurt his feelings.

This is paired with the fact he restricts and monitors the diet of his cats. They eat when he allows it, and only what he gives them, in spite of there being piles of dead animals rotting, going to waste.

We then find he personally doles out food from these piles, plucking carcasses off them and flinging them at his cats, one by one. Probably so he can watch how grateful they are to him and make sure they stay a little hungry-- and definitely because it means he can control WHO gets to eat at all.

If Clear Sky chucked a mouse at Falling Feather and someone took it? She would have gone hungry. For not groveling to him. Like when he decides to starve her brother; a hostage who he promised to feed and care for.

He's a dishonest snake. He lied about abandoning baby Thunder, calling it a "test of strength," he lied about Bumble's death, he lied about keeping Jackdaw's Cry fed.

And he lied about starvation to Thunder, because he was just making up an excuse to steal more land.

He wasn't "seeing the signs" of starvation when he moved to "adjust" his borders. Even FURTHER into this so-called "delusional slip" into tyranny, he's freely admitting that it takes months for a person to starve when it benefits his sadistic need to punish undeserving cats.

"Dumb moor cats, always expecting more than they DESERVE."

Not need. DESERVE. It's not a delusion about starvation and it never was. STARVATION is how he CONTROLS SkyClan, and once again he's angry that his pleasure has been sullied.

The massacre at Fourtrees was started over Jackdaw's Cry catching a bat after being starved, on land that Clear Sky has decided RIGHT NOW that he also owns, because it mades him think about being disobeyed.

The bat is forgotten as Clear Sky pivots into a tantrum, wanting to make his family HURT for being 'disloyal' and 'ungrateful.' For leaving him. He LIKES seeing people grovel, cower, and beg, getting PLEASURE from watching how he can hurt and command other cats, and if you don't give him what he wants he will kill you.

Which, make no mistake, is what the "First Battle" actually is. Clear Sky attempting to murder those who don't worship him or swear their undying fealty to him and his twisted dictatorship. Particularly his own son, the most prominent victim of his emotional abuse.

It's not about the bat. It was never even about food or starvation. It's about retaliation for any perceived lack of control.

Once again he breaks out starvation rhetoric to try and manipulate someone, and when Rainswept Flower doesn't buy it just like Falling Feather didn't, he murders her in another fit of entitled rage.

Exoneration arc.

At the end of this battle that was entirely his own fault, we're introduced to the hollowed-out ghost of Storm. She has been flushed of all personality, so that she can be the perfect narrative mouthpiece.

She accepts yet another Fluttering Bird Invocation in spite of how we saw it's not sincere. He was lying the entire time and using starvation rhetoric as a manipulation tactic to get control over his victims.

And that's it.

That's the consequence. Storm's a little mad at him until he says "Buttering Flird" and she swoons.

He doesn't have to be ""afraid"" anymore because the cats just invented an afterlife to believe in. He keeps all of his power and influence and gets off scot-free, because "guilt" (which we SAW him repressing anyway) is supposed to be the best consequence for murder, abuse, and tyranny.

The husk of Storm even materializes again at the end of book 5 to say it outright; he "never drove anyone away." Not even after Book 4 where it's also his fault One Eye took over his Clan for 5 minutes. It was just destiny.

His "redemption arc" is just an exoneration arc. The narrative doesn't think he really did anything wrong.

EVERYTHING about Clear Sky has ALWAYS been about making grabs at power, but since the narrative didn't see a problem with him extorting his personal tragedy and the death of a child, his own sister, he continues doing it. As if these behaviors are normal personality 'traits'.

Even when that sister COMES OUT OF HEAVEN TO YELL AT HIM DIRECTLY,

He finds a way to COMPLETELY miss the point, so he can interpret her words in a bizarrely specific way that will conveniently end with him being the supreme dictator of the entire forest. Just like he ALWAYS does.

It's the entire 5th book. Clear Sky trying to convince everyone, including himself, that it's Fluttering Bird who wants him to grab at power, NOT himself and his own ambition, that THIS time, he promises, for realsies, it's actually about keeping everyone safe.

But just like ALWAYS, because he does not change, when this tried and true tactic manages to work on Thunder, during ANOTHER exchange where he's dramatically pausing and using the cold shoulder to make his pitiable act land harder,

He lapses right back into bullying his child, creating situations where Thunder will have difficulty or be put in pain, so that he can have an excuse to mock and belittle him.

And this all comes to a head when Clear Sky takes romantic interest in Star Flower, his abused son's previous romantic interest.

Predation: Star Flower is a replacement for his son.

Direct parallels are drawn between Thunder and Star Flower. Star Flower contrasts her loyalty to her father to Thunder's "disloyalty" to his own, in an appeal to Clear Sky.

Clear Sky brushes it off for now, citing that he cannot accept her because of who her father was.

But then, Thunder makes the connection between himself and her, because he knows what it is like to be a victim of parental abuse and correctly clocks that they have this in common,

On his vouch, Clear Sky accepts her into the group. She starts trying to offer himself to him; hunting twice as hard as the others, self-imposing harsh conditions like taking a wet sleeping spot. In their second interaction, Clear Sky begins to take interest in her.

Thunder himself points out that Star Flower is seeking an abusive tyrant to replace her own father, which reads like he's deflecting the stress of how his father is abusing him to deny a connection he already made. As if Thunder sees so much of himself in Star Flower that it makes him (rightly) feel sick that his father is romantically invested in her;

Thunder then goes on to follow his own advice and form his own Clan, because Clear Sky IS like One Eye... while Star Flower remains here. At Clear Sky's side. Because she feels like this is what she "deserves," that she "understands" him, truly believing that her crime (warning her father that Clear Sky brought an ambush in case he lost the 1 on 1 death match he requested, which he did) are on the same level as his abuse and murders.

Clear Sky is attracted to Star Flower because, in his own words;

She is young.

She will not betray him.

She won't question him,

and she obeys him.

We've seen what "betrayal" is to Clear Sky-- not taking his excuses or his beatings. To "disobey" is betrayal. To "question" is disobedience.

These are ALL things he's tried to drill into Thunder. We saw him happily exploit their difference in age to tell him he can't have an opinion. He constructed humiliating games in retaliation for ever being questioned. He tried to murder Thunder and his friends for their "betrayal." Even now, being disobeyed causes explosive reactions.

He was previously grooming the things he now identifies as attractive in a young woman into his child.

If your body becomes too useless to serve him, like Frost and Jagged Peak, you're thrown out. If you don't unquestioningly follow his bloody commands, like Falling Feather or Thunder, you're subjected to abuse and public humiliation. If you're in his way, like Misty or Rainswept Flower were, you die.

If you meet all of his expectations...

You will be in a horrific position where you will never have agency over your own life ever again. Every move, every word, will have to be carefully crafted so that he feels like you're "loyal" to him by the arbitrary standard he feels that day. Never step out of line, never doubt his decisions, never live for anyone except him and the children you will give him, not even for a moment, because then you will not be "worthy" of his grace.

Star Flower would be in serious danger if this series wasn't written by abuse apologists. They accidentally wrote a perfect reflection of how child abuse victims often find themselves in unsafe and toxic romantic relationships with large age gaps which mirror what they went through as kids; but this team doesn't clock it, playing this relationship as wholesome and genuine.

He finally has someone who ""understands"" him. Because they think the character they wrote is misunderstood.

but reality is plain to see.

Clear Sky is a monster. The most realistic monster in all of WC-- far, far closer to real life predators and domestic abusers than the "born evil" rogues like Slash and One Eye. The Erins seem to believe that what separates Clear Sky from One Eye is "fundamental" good and "fundamental" evil, when the truth is that they'd be separated by very, very little.

If they had realistic motivations, they would be exactly like the character their existence is meant to excuse.

Slash and One Eye HAD to be kept flat and one-dimensional. If the book was more earnest, the only difference between Clear Sky and One Eye would have been that One Eye is stronger. So strong that Clear Sky needed to manipulate the other groups into helping him.

While anyone can change, not everyone will, and Clear Sky has no reason to. He sees no consequences. He has everything he wants; power, a pretty and obedient young mate, and unchecked authority over a brainwashed forest cult. There is always a victim on a leash, a naive enabler, or a bunch of desperate and gullible marks somewhere in his proximity to bully into doing his dirtywork

Whether his "intentions" were sincere or not (evidence points towards not) at its root it was always about control. Power is something he perpetually keeps, and continues to violently use.

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mariasont · 6 months

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Our Minds Entwined------------------------

ch 1, ch 2

Aaron Hotchner x Original Character x Spencer Reid

in which jason gideon's daughter joins the fbi as the newest youngest member

Chapter One:

The bar was abuzz with the kind of infectious energy that only comes from a group of friends riding the high of a celebratory night out. In the center of it all was Evelyn Gideon, her laughter a melody that seemed to turn heads and draw smiles even from strangers. She was the embodiment of sunshine—her allure as undeniable as the curves she carried with effortless grace.

Evelyn raised her glass, her eyes sparkling with excitement and liquor. "To new beginnings and breaking ceilings," she toasted, her voice carrying over the crowded room.

Her friends echoed the sentiment, "To Evelyn, the FBI's newest and brightest!"

As they sipped their drinks, the conversation flowed easily, touching on memories, aspirations, and the occasional playful banter about the 'aesthetically pleasing' aspects of her new job.

Evelyn leaned in, her voice a conspiratorial whisper, "You know, I've had my fair share of late-night googling and let's just say the FBI isn't all work and no play. They've got some serious eye candy too."

Her friends giggled, urging her on, and she obliged, a little tipsy from the copious amounts of wine. "There's this one agent, my boss, Aaron Hotchner. Oh, and another, Spencer Reid. They're like the real-life versions of those FBI recruitment posters. So hot, it's criminal."

The group erupted into laughter, unaware that just a few tables away, two men had paused their conversation, a knowing look exchanged between them. They said nothing, just an awkward cough as they went back to their drinks.

Spencer's eyes met hers briefly before averting his gaze.

Aaron's expression was unreadable as he scoffed, "Interns."

The laughter from Evelyn's table continued to ripple through the bar, a stark contrast to the muted tones of conversation at the agents' table. Spencer's eyes flickered back to his drink, the ice clinking softly as he swirled the glass, a thoughtful expression on his face. Aaron, meanwhile, maintained his stoic facade, though the corners of his mouth twitched in a suppressed smile.

Evelyn, buoyed by the warmth of the wine and her company, leaned back in her chair, her gaze drifting across the room. She caught Spencer's eye again, realization drawing on her face, and this time he held her gaze, an unspoken challenge passing between them.

One of her friends nudged her, her eyebrows raised in amusement. "He's cute."

Evelyn's heart skipped a beat, her mind racing with the implications. "I think that's my new boss and colleague."

Evelyn, her cheeks flushed from the alcohol and her earlier comments, caught the agents' glance and felt a sudden wave of embarrassment wash over her. She fumbled with her purse, her laughter trailing off into a nervous giggle.

"Uh, I just remembered, I have an early meeting tomorrow, and I should really get going," Evelyn stammered, avoiding eye contact with the table of agents. Her friends, sensing her discomfort, offered her quick hugs and understanding nods as she made her hasty retreat.

As Evelyn vanished into the crowd, Aaron and Spencer's attention was momentarily captured by the bar's TV, where a breaking news segment flashed across the screen. They leaned in, their focus on a case they'd been following, the world around them fading into the background.

When they finally turned back, expecting to find the lively group still immersed in their celebration, they were met with the sight of an empty chair where Evelyn had been. A twinge of disappointment flickered across their faces, though neither would admit it aloud.

Spencer cleared his throat, "Well, interns are always full of surprises," he remarked, a hint of a smile playing on his lips.

Aaron nodded, his gaze lingering on the now quieter table. "Indeed. But let's not forget, we were all there once," he said, raising a glass in a silent salute to their beginning memories.

"Statistically speaking," Spencer began, his voice barely above the murmur of the bar, "the chances of us overhearing a conversation about ourselves in such a setting are quite slim."

Hotch couldn't help but chuckle at Spencer's comment. "And yet here we are," he added, the hint of a smirk betraying his amusement.

—

The morning light filtered through the curtains, casting a soft glow across Evelyn's sleep softened face as she awoke to the chirping of birds and the distant hum of the city. She lay in bed for a moment, her mind a whirlwind of memories from the night before. The laughter, the wine, the unexpected encounter with Dr. Reid and Hotchner.

She was Jason Gideon's daughter, a fact that filled her with pride yet weighed heavily on her. At 23, she was young to be joining the FBI, especially the BAU, and she felt the pressure to prove herself as more than just a legacy hire.

Evelyn sat up, pushing back the covers as she swung her legs over the side of the bed. Today was the day. Her first day at the BAU. A mix of excitement and nerves bubbled within her, but there was something else too—a hint of mortification. She couldn't shake the memory of calling her new boss and coworker hot within earshot. She hoped against hope that they hadn't overheard.

With a deep breath she rose and made her way to the mirror. She took pride in her appearance, and today was no exception. She chose her outfit with care, professional yet undeniably her.

As she applied her makeup, each brush was an attempt to paint away the embarrassment of last night. She styled her hair, letting it fall into soft waves around her shoulders. We one last glance in the mirror, she was ready.

Evelyn grabbed her gun and badge, the weight of them both a reminder of the responsibility she was about to undertake. She was a member of the FBI now, and she had a role to play.

—

Evelyn's heels clicked against the polished floors of the FBI building, a steady rhythm that matched her racing heart. She drew a deep breath, letting her bubbly personality shine through her nervous smile as she passed through the security checkpoint. She didn't spot Hotch or Dr. Reid, a small mercy that allowed her to collect herself without the weight of their gazes.

The first day formalities were a blur—ID photos, paperwork, and the endless maze of hallways. It was all so technical and impersonal, yet it was the gateway to her dream.

Then, a beacon of light, she spotted Penelope Garcia. They had connected over an online forum for crime fiction enthusiasts, bonding over plot theories and character developments. Garcia's vibrant attire and smile were just as welcoming in person.

"Penelope!" Evelyn greeted, her voice a mix of relief and excitement.

"Evelyn! Honey, you're even more stunning in person!" Garcia beamed, pulling her into a hug. "Welcome to the BAU family!"

As they chatted, Garcia led her to the bullpen, where Evelyn was introduced to the team. Emily Prentiss's firm handshake and measured smile spoke of strength and understanding. JJ's friendly nod and Derek Morgan's charming grin were disarming, making Evelyn's nerves ease slightly.

"So you're the prodigy Gideon was always bragging about," Morgan teased, his eyes twinkling with mirth.

Evelyn laughed, the sound light and genuine. "I hope to live up to at least half the hype," she replied, her tone playful yet sincere.

Prentiss leaned in, her voice low but encouraging. "We've all heard great things about you, Evelyn. We're glad to have you on board."

"And we'll make sure you find your footing," JJ added, her smile reassuring.

The warmth of the welcome eased the knots in her stomach. She was a part of the team, surrounded by legends, and yet, they made her feel like she was one of them—bright, capable.

"Gideon."

The newfound calm in Evelyn's stomach vanished as swiftly as it had arrived when she heard her last name echo across the bullpen. The authoritative tone of Aaron Hotchner snapped the easy atmosphere like a taut wire. She turned, her heart hitching as she met his gaze. For a fleeting moment, she saw the mask of his composure slip, a flicker of surprise that quickly schooled into neutrality. "A word, please?"

Derek couldn't resist the opportunity for a quip. "Don't keep the man waiting, he's not known for his patience," he said, eliciting a round of chuckles from the team.

Evelyn's heart pounded as she approached Hotchner's office, her mind racing with a thousand thoughts seeming to rest on one—he was going to confront me about what I said. She stepped inside, the door closing behind her with a soft click.

Hotchner's office was a stark contrast to the lively bullpen, its walls lined with commendations and case files. He gestured to a chair.

"Good morning, Evelyn," Hotchner began as he motioned her into his office. "Please, have a seat."

She moved past him, her senses heightened, astutely aware of the shift in his demeanor. As she settled into the chair, she caught him glancing at a file on his desk, his eyes momentarily distracted.

"I didn't expect you to be so..." he started, his gaze lifting to meet hers.

"Young?" Evelyn filled in, her voice a mix of confidence and self-deprecation, butterflies filling her stomach. "I get that a lot, but I assure you it won't affect my performance, sir."

In his mind, Hotchner corrected himself, Attractive, but he let the thought pass unspoken of course, cursing himself for even thinking it. "Of course," he said aloud. "Your age isn't a concern. Your qualifications speak for themselves."

He leaned back, interlacing his fingers as he regarded her. "As a new member of the BAU you'll be expected to undergo a period of observation. You'll accompany the team on cases, but your involvement will be limited until you've completed your training."

Evelyn nodded, absorbing every word.

"You'll be assigned a mentor," Hotch continued. "Dr. Reid will take on that role. He'll guide you through our protocols and procedures."

"I'm ready to learn and contribute, sir." Evelyn responded earnestly.

He had been called "sir" by many, but when the word left Evelyn's lips, it was as if he heard it for the first time. He caught himself staring at the lips at which the words came from, snapping his focus back to her eyes.

Hotchner's expression softened ever so slightly. "I believe you are. And remember, this team is a family. We rely on each other's strengths to face what most can't even imagine."

With a final nod, he stood, signaling the end of the meeting. "Welcome to the BAU, Agent."

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x original character #spencer reid smut #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x original character #aaron hotchner x reader x spencer reid #aaron hotchner x original character x spencer reid #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfic #fbi #Spotify

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nayziiz · 3 months

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Witness | CL16

Summary: In the shadowy world of Monaco's elite, the Leclerc family reigns supreme. Charles Leclerc, the charming middle son, maintains their pristine public image—until one rainy night, during a fit of rage, Charles does the unthinkable. A young woman witnesses his actions, and her terrified eyes haunt him. Consumed by guilt and fear of exposure, Charles embarks on a desperate search to find her before she can destroy his family’s legacy. As he delves deeper into Monaco's underbelly, Charles must confront his own darkness and the lengths he will go to protect his family.

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x OC (Marie)

Warnings: Violence, blood, angst

Author's Note: Sorry for the delayed updates - life has been running circles around me this week. Hoping to get back into a stable routine again next week.

Masterlist

Charles desperately needed advice from Lorenzo on what to do, but he didn’t want to implicate his brother, with a baby on the way, nonetheless. It was his problem and he needed to clean up his mess. But more than that, he knew the person threatening him could do quite a bit of damage, because unlike Marie, this person had video footage. Worst of all, the video contained enough footage to clearly identify Marie, who would be seen as an accomplice to the murder since she didn’t report it.

Chapter 6

Just when Charles thought the damage control was done, he received word through one of his guards that someone else witnessed the murder. Not only did they see Charles kill a man in cold blood, but they saw Marie. They saw Marie run away and they saw that Charles did nothing to silence her permanently. They saw Charles take pity on her because he wanted to protect himself and his family.

Charles knew that he needed to protect her, whether she liked it or not. So, he sent his men out to keep an eye out for her, to steer any potential threats away from her. Of course she picked up on it after a day, but she tried her best to ignore it. She assumed he wanted to remind her of her promise to not tell anyone. Charles needed to speak with her too, to explain why he had his men following her again, that he wasn’t threatened by her, but that he wanted to make sure she stayed safe.

Perhaps it wasn’t the smartest idea to approach her late at night after her shift as she walked home. She could hear his footsteps behind her. She knew his men would never let someone follow her so closely in the dark without making their presence known. She could only assume it was Charles himself who was walking a few metres behind her. She came to an abrupt halt and spun around before stalking towards Charles who she could now make out under the misty moonlight.

“Is there a reason you’re following me in the fucking dark, Mr Leclerc?” She snapped at him once she was face-to-face with him.

“I realise this may look suspicious,” he began, but she interrupted him.

“Is this how it ends? Will you be bludgeoning me to death as well or have you found some other way to dispose of me?” Marie countered, but once she saw the colour drain from his face and his small smile fade, she knew she had overstepped. “I’m sorry. It’s been a long day and I’m tired. I didn’t think you’d be following me tonight.”

“You have every right to be mad at me, but please know that I will not be harming you at all, Ms Dupont. I assure you,” Charles insisted, his voice soft and tender as he spoke to her. “But, that doesn’t mean someone else won’t.”

“What do you mean?” Marie asked, confused.

“It has come to my attention that there was a third individual in the area that night who… witnessed the murder. They saw me. They saw you. And, now they are threatening me with video evidence if I don’t pay them quite a handsome amount of money. They are also painting you out to be an accomplice because there was no police report filed,” Charles explained.

“So, that’s why you have your men stationed around me?” Marie realised.

“It’s the least I can do after everything,” Charles replied. “You were an innocent witness, you shouldn’t have to be punished for something I did.”

Marie remained quiet for a moment as she contemplated his admission. She appreciated the fact that he was upfront about the blackmailer.

“How much do they want in exchange for their silence?” Marie wondered.

“5,000,000 Euros” Charles mumbled.

“Damn,” Marie muttered before scratching around in her purse. “I have 2 Euros to help you out, you know, since I’m an accomplice now. I’m sure you can handle the rest, no?”

It took Charles a few seconds to register her attempted joke before he chuckled at her making light of the situation.

“If I had my way, they wouldn’t get a cent, especially from you,” Charles informed her and attempted a half-hearted smile. Marie mirrored his weak smile and looked around, spotting several of Charles’s men nearby.

“Would you like to walk me home? We’re halfway there anyway,” she wondered.

“Of course,” Charles agreed before they started walking side-by-side in the direction of her apartment building.

She didn’t plan on drifting off to sleep, but there was something about the silence of the night and having someone in the apartment with her that made her mind relax for the first time in weeks. She may not have trusted Charles completely, but he had proven to her on several occasions that he was in fact not going to harm her.

He carried her to her bedroom and covered her with her blanket before retreating back into the living room area. He tried to tidy up a bit, but didn’t know where most of the things went, so he gave up and went to rinse out their coffee mugs. When he dried his hands, he turned around and surveyed the open plan apartment. The last time he was in such a humble home was when he was still a young boy before his parents made a name for themselves. He thought back to some fond memories of reading books with his mom and watching racing with his father in their first family home. He choked back his tears reminiscing of a life with no worry and pulled out his wallet. He left all the cash he had on him on the counter for Marie to find the following morning when she woke up. He also left a note with his phone number on it, just in case she needed to get hold of him for whatever reason.

He didn’t want to leave one of his men in her apartment, as much as he wanted to for her safety, but he respected her boundaries and privacy. Instead, he arranged with the building manager that one of his men disguise himself as a roaming security guard on her floor while a second guard remained stationed in the building lobby, observing the people coming and going and a third guard at the building’s back entrance for good measure. There was no way he was going to let her get hurt because of him.

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Taglist: @headinthecloudssblog

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runabout-river · 1 month

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Thoughts on JJK chapter 266 (Spoilers)

I nearly cried...

We start with Megumi reiterating that he doesn't want to be saved. The last time we saw him he was down on the ground completely crushed. Here, Yuji managed to talk with him inside his domain, giving Megumi the opportunity to fully express himself and his feelings.

The "enough now" also has different connotations depending on the specific phrasing used in Japanese. I read a Twitter thread once that talked about it and how Megumi basically told Yuji that he, Yuji, didn't need to expand any more energy towards him, Megumi. That he could stop saving him because it was all right.

It was said right in the beginning that Megumi sees Yuji and Tsumiki as the same type of person he wants to protect. That was why he selfishly asked Gojo to help Yuji after he swallowed Sukuna's finger.

Megumi's thoughts on the life he wanted to give his sister are so bittersweet. He isn't centered in them so it's natural that without Tsumiki he doesn't know where he could go on his own.

And let's not forget, Tsumiki was the only true family Megumi had left and for one and a half years he tried to save her from her curse only to fail twice. His teenage years were dedicated to her so his mental descend is understandable.

Maki lived through the same loss and compared with her we explicitly see the differences in them. Maki had always wanted to live her life on her own with her own strength which meant that she had to leave Mai behind. When Mai died Maki was mentally able to go on with living without problems but unlike with Megumi's and Tsumiki's situation, Maki and Mai also had a deep conversation and understanding with each other in the end. Maki got to hear Mai's last thoughts and her last wish to destroy them all.

Megumi doesn't have any last conversation with Tsumiki so Yuji has to step in on that front. And he does so with fully acknowledging Megumi's pain and outlook on his continued life.

Sukuna uses Hollow Wicker Basket to counter Yuji's sure-hit and be able to fight him. He compensates the weaker CE output of HWB by keeping his handsign with his extra arms.

I checked, that hand sign is basically the same as Megumi's DE hand sign but with the left thumb up. Its interesting to think about the implications of that.

Sukuna also says the he can't use Gojo's version of getting his CT back up again after a DE because other parts of his brain are still damaged by UV.

We get an extended fight scene next but truth be told I did NOT care about the fight at that moment. Only Sukuna showing how angry he got with Yuji's "pity" was interesting. Other than that I wanted to get back to Megumi.

Bringing back that absolutely iconic panel of Megumi and replacing Gojo with Yuji 😭

That was the part where I stared at my giant monitor and got misty eyed. Especially with Yuji being so honest about how much he would miss Megumi even though he understands and would support him with ending his life.

Its interesting again how Gege chose to leave Yuji's scars for his close up panel. It's probably to show how Mahito's trauma he inflicted on him and everything else he went through didn't measure into his deepest desire to get his friend back.

Until now we also didn't see Megumi's eyes. Even in this panel we get a small Megumi from a memory he had with someone else. But...

Megumi immediately uses his shadows, those we haven't seen since Sukuna got his original body back.

But I also wonder about the implication here: was Sukuna's 10ST rendered non-functional because... he was in his original body? Or because the death of Mahoraga automatically deactivates the technique?

If it's the latter, than that means that with Megumi using his shadows here, he has his own version of his technique, one with his own shikigami who haven't been killed in the fight against Gojo.

The last part of this fight is about how Sukuna went against what he just thought a few minutes ago. He does use Gojo's technique of restarting his CT again. His nose is bleeding because of it though.

Then comes another part of the good guy's long thought out plan to bring Sukuna down. His finger strung up in an unknown location, ready to do... what? We'll see when the Shinjuku Showdown actually finishes soon.

We'll definitely get the merger arc next but there'll most likely be a few chapters of talk and plot in between as well.

But wait!

What is going on with Yuji missing 2 fingers now? We know that one Sukuna finger is still missing and we know that Rika ate at least part of either Sukuna or Yuji to get Sukuna's CT.

But is this finger in the last panel a new finger maybe? One made with Yuji's ring finger?

We'll find out eventually but for now, this was such a deeply emotional chapter...

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #sukuna #fushiguro megumi #gojo satoru #yuji itadori #meta #ryomen sukuna #itadori yuuji #still on the verge of crying

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boneempress · 1 year

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yellowjackets s2 finale spoilers~

I get that a lot of people are upset at the finale for various reasons, one of which is that Misty is the person who did...you know. Putting aside the implications for Natalie's role in the story, I want to talk about Misty because I think it was a crucial turning point for her and I think she had to be the one to do it for her story to progress.

Halfway through season 2, teen Misty learns Crystal is really Kristen and trades this for a secret that she wildly misjudges as being of equal import. Realizing her mistake, she threatens Kristen, who steps back and falls off a cliff. This death both is and isn't her fault; she didn't really mean to kill her, and she didn't actually touch her. It was an accident. She has an out. And, crucially, she gets away with it: no one else is witness to it, Kristen's body has yet to be found.

Fast forward to the hunt, Misty was the one who pulled Natalie back from trying to save Javi. I suspect she probably realized that saving the group's best hunter was the, objectively, most "rational" thing to do for the group, all else aside. (This is the first of multiple times we see Misty steal Natalie away from death before the wilderness finally comes to collect.)

So when Lottie picks Natalie as her successor, and the girls all give their own versions of fealty, Misty's is this incredibly dramatic bow that Nat laughs at. But Misty is dead serious, because I think she is taking this deadly seriously. The wilderness gave her a purpose she never had before so she trapped them all there within it, and Nat is its favorite. Whatever her reasons, I think this is the moment Misty dedicates herself and her life to Nat. It's why she looks so fucking pleased when Natalie shows up in her living room pointing a rifle at her, 25 years later.

Fast forward to Jessica Roberts. Misty tells us that fentanyl is her weapon of choice because it is legal and it looks like an overdose. Moreover, she doesn't just inject Jessica with fentanyl and fake the death afterwards; she injects the cigarettes, and she lets Jessica choose them. Because, after all, those cigarettes would've killed her anyway, a lot slower. So she does what she needs to do, but she still maintains a distance. And she gets away with it.

In season 2, several people have implied to adult Misty that she has serial killer vibes, and it seems to confound her in spite of the multiple deaths she's responsible for (that we've seen.) She goes into a sensory deprivation tank and concludes that she's a "closer" who cleans up messes for her friends - so that she can be useful to them again like she was in the woods - and she will do anything that that entails. She doesn't questions her methods or motives or do even the slightest bit of self-reflection. As horrible as the Crystal incident was for her, a part of her (like Shauna) has always been drawn to violence until it gets too close and personal to her. She was excited when she cut Ben's leg off and when she watched Shauna beat the shit out of Lottie.

So when it comes time for the hunt again, Misty has loaded up a needle with some drug, either phenobarbital or her favorite fentanyl. She will kill if she has to, for the good of the group. When Lisa threatens Nat with a gun she doesn't hesitate and goes in for the kill.

Only, purely by the good will of Natalie for Lisa, Misty misses her target, and she kills her best friend (again) instead, accidentally frames clean and sober Nat for a relapsed drug overdose, the person she pledged fealty to, the person she was willing to die for, the one person in the entire world whose death could possibly make her stop and question herself, wonder if maybe using violence to solve all her problems is a bad thing, if maybe bringing "it" back with her so gleefully was NOT a good thing. Maybe, just maybe, she will start thinking about the dark and terrible secret she hides - the black box she destroyed and doomed all of her friends with. Part of the reason adult Misty is so fun to watch is because of the delusional levels of self-confidence she possesses, and this is the one and only thing that I think could really shake her to her core. Crystal's death got pretty close when she was 17 and had a lot less armor, but Natalie is someone she has been trauma bonded to for 25 years. She gets away with it in the eyes of the law, yet again, but she knows what she did, and that she can never take it back. She has to live with it. She has to live with the worst possible consequence that playing with other people's lives could have for her.

And that's why it had to be Misty.

#yellowjackets #yellowjackets spoilers #misty quigley #she is so endlessly fascinating to me #actually can't wait to see where they go with her in s3

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weirdmageddon · 1 year

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ur davejade posting has me Remembering and goddddd. theyre so good. thank u

i want to make a davejade analysis masterpost but the funniest thing with these asks is that theyre the ones that really prompt me to put my thoughts together in some direction and i ALWAYS find a new implication or connection to talk about. like while i’m writing the connections will just make themselves known. if i made a masterpost i’d have to update it every time i think of something new which defeats the purpose of a masterpost because it’d never be finished. so i just like to spitball into separate posts and just shove them in my davejade tag. i was NOT expecting to get back into homestuck with davejade at the forefront but i can see things now i didnt then

im gonna go off again because it’s so obvious to me on this jumpy scrambled “reread” that dave has a fat fucking heart-on / affection erection for jade. hes tryin soo hard to be cool but hes like this with jade actually behind the screen and she knows it

words and deeds of a court jester dude who totally has a crush on his childhood internet friend and doesnt acknowledge it (btw this is woefully incomplete for the sake of brevity but i could elaborate in another post. i actually have a draft (edit: posted) with a shit ton of more analysis stuff in it on why he acts differently with her than other characters):

the next day (chronologically) when jade messages him:

hussie commentary: “Dave's one-pixel-smile there means that there are literally more than ten thousand drawings on the internet of Dave and Jade kissing. That pixel literally made that happen.”

i mean … it sure is easy to assume how he feels about jade based on the way he talks to her and when his sprite only ever smiles one other time in the entire fucking comic and the reality of that other one was arguable since it was during [S] Karkat: Mental breakdown and its likely karkat was hallucinating it based on the content and context of the flash

nah this one was real. and it was from the first conversation we saw between dave and jade in the comic and thus set the standard for their dynamic. and remember old school 2009 dave was kind of a menace so it says a lot

this girl was special enough to him to warrant that pixel

jade calling dave a “huge baby” for him getting nervous about a piss while she’s his server player. he makes such a big deal about it while shes like oh my god just go:

and the absurdity of the situation being one of his favorite memories

i know pesterquest isn’t “canon” canon but it passes my character essence check and still contributes something of substance to my argument. like i can say this is not at all out of place if these characters were plopped into these scenarios. remember this takes place on the same day as the above, 4/13/2009. theyre the same age as above and have the same relationship as they did above, just in a different scenario that wasn’t possible in canon wherein they didn’t play sburb

Jade wanders away from that window and toward another one, whose view is exclusively centered on the rolling blue. She presses a hand against the misty pane and sighs. JADE: you know, dave talks a lot about coming to visit me here. i mean, all of my friends do but dave especially JADE: in his usual davey way of course, which means making lots of jokes and not sounding very serious about it JADE: "yeah im itching to put on my safari hat and come traipsing down to doomdeath archipelago to get my ass murdered by infinidog the eldritch retriever," stuff like that JADE: i know he really means it though! he wants to see me, just like i want to see him JADE: but its just wishful thinking

anyway daves reaction to seeing his isolated online friend for the first time irl cry because she has guests. its even better with the character sprites

JADE: we can play with all my toys and jam out to some music and stay up all night chatting with each other and oh my god oh my god youre here youre all here this is really happening!!!!! Jade's next laugh verges on hysterical and she's got tears streaked down her cheeks. Dave looks a little perturbed. DAVE: wow holy shit uh DAVE: its cool jade no need to get so DAVE: like this DAVE: kind of fucks me up seeing you cry DAVE: not that im trying to make this all about me DAVE: i mean uh

and so after mspa reader’s intervention, who do we see with jade the next time we see her?

dave. and hes goofing with her squiddles while grinning

DAVE: okay so lets see what we got here Jade's room is bright and cheery, fresh flowers in the hanging pots, curtains pulled open wide to let in the afternoon sunlight. Jade sits on her bed while Dave paces in front of a line of squiddle toys, carefully assembled in neat ranks. DAVE: this blue one is clearly in charge look at his dominant posture DAVE: also hes the only motherfucker not tentacle deep in his homie DAVE: hes an untangled buddy that is some shit really cuts to the core of like DAVE: DAVE: emotions JADE: its actually because the magnets in him are messed up, and always have been!! DAVE: harley you are ruining the magic come on

basically what im putting together is that dave was REALLY fixin to spend some time with jade. extending into her sphere of interests that he doesnt express much with anyone else; you can tell he really wanted to engage with her in a less irony poisoned way. he’s softer with her than his other friends and god forbid the trolls, he is much less skeptical about things when talking to her (he even questions why he just seems to go along with her eccentric precognitive statements but he doesnt change his attitude about it), he showers her with his music and raps to the point where jade is expectant of getting poetry from him. rap IS poetry. please realize that dave is sending her his poetry, regardless of how goofy it may be. this is the level on which im viewing this at and once you realize this theres no going back. there comes a time in every homestuck’s life where they have to see how dave interacted jade and conclude that he had a cute little puppy crush on her unbeknownst to either of them. and it was adorable. and now, in the year 2023, it’s your time to realize this too. no going back.

and btw it all came back around…………………nimblest son of a bitch who had the gumption to glue a nasty pair of latex cat lips to his face

for a reason that wasnt a joke anymore

don’t think ive seen anyone talk about this parallel at the end to one of their first conversations in the comic. maybe somebody did back in the day but i never saw it

#davejade #homestuck #dave strider #jade harley #hs

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iheartjohnlennon · 11 months

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'Misty'

Liverpool, '59

Summary: John desperately wants you to make it up to him.

Word count: 2,059

Tags: Smut, Light Angst, Oral Sex

John spotted your figure, he wasn't bothered to approach though and wanted to seem aloof.

You were looking around the space and when your eyes met his; you ended up looking away shyly.

Unsure, he hesitated between going over or waiting for you to come closer. He pretended not to care either way, but his heart raced as the seconds passed and neither of you moved.

He made a beckoning gesture to you when you looked again. You promptly excused yourself from your table of friends.

"John, what's the matter?"

He had an expression on his face that was something you couldn't properly understand.

You decided it was something between annoyance and longing. The former was more apparent.

John abruptly put his arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him so your chests could touch.

He always had a forward nature when it came to lovey-dovey things, you didn't mind it sometimes.

"Why weren't you there?" You couldn't discern his tone, maybe it was bitter.

He must've been talking about his performance. Nothing brought him more pride than seeing you in the crowd.

But you felt his brash demeanour and stammered to talk. You ended up replying vaguely, "Something came up."

John leaned in close.

"Wasn't the same without you."

His words nervously flattered you.

You didn't think John could've suffered that bad without you.

"I'll make it up to you, make it up to us." You spoke.

"How?" He asked quickly.

"How what?"

"How will you make it up to me? Us?"

"Anything you want." You said.

"Anything I want, love?" John repeated, smirking.

You looked away and mumbled, "Well, I'll just show up next time."

He chuckled, "Next time won't be enough. You owe me way more than that, you owe us way more than that."

You raised your eyebrows, "Well, what do you suggest?"

John sat in his hallway, holding the telephone receiver to his ear.

He had summoned the right amount of courage to call you before he came. Not that he was scared of you, it was more so the rejection that scared him.

He didn't want you flaking on him again.

"Hello." You said sweetly.

"Oi. It's John."

"I know."

"So, 'm still alrigh' to come to yours then?"

There was a brief pause on your end, it made him anxious, but you replied.

The anticipation for his arrival made you physically and mentally sick, but in a girlish way.

"Of course it is."

"Okay."

The narrow streets became sheathed in twilight when John made his way to your house, and as he reached the doorstep, he took a deep breath to steady himself.

When you opened the door, an immediate smile graced your lips.

It was surreal to have John standing in front of you, in front of your house, in front of your eyes. He was a sight, as always.

He stared unabashedly, his eyes roaming every inch of your body. You felt exposed to what you were wearing, yet you couldn't help but feel a little thrill when he murmured, "Look at you..."

You greeted him inside with a beckon and he stepped in, taking in the ambience of your home.

He wondered how you could have had a boy over so freely, especially at a time like this.

As if reading his thoughts, you held his hands and told him, "No one's home tonight."

"Well, isn't tha' good for us?"

John loved the dirty implications of this visit.

He would do whatever he wanted to you without him having to be quiet, or without him having to hold anything back.

He followed closely behind you as you led him to the living room.

You offered him a seat on the sofa and he slipped his coat off.

You stood in front of him, "Could I get you a drink?"

John considered his options for a moment, "Any bevvies?"

Flashing him a smile, you disappeared into the kitchen.

You weren't too sure what anything was and just grabbed something amber-coloured in a decorated bottle.

He was lounging and accepted the drink with a nod of gratitude, the liquid warmed his throat with the first sip.

"Join me then," He patted the empty spot on the sofa beside him.

"Have a sip." He put the rim of the glass to your lips and fed you sips, you felt like you were being preciously taken care of.

When he finished the drink, John let his pent-up desire take control of him.

He set the glass on the coffee table and yanked you closer to him so you could be on his lap. His grip was possessively firm.

You were startled by his fervour and gasped as you had barely had any conversation.

He couldn't waste time and didn't want to be stopped by your hesitance. So he pressed his lips to yours. He found himself hugging you close by your hips, a need to keep you close as if he feared you might reject him.

His kiss deepened and his tongue started to taste yours. The mutual taste of a sweet alcohol was merged within your salvias, your tongue met his with an equal touch, engaging in a play of give or take.

As the necking on reached its peak, John reluctantly pulled back, his breathing was ragged.

His lips began to give smooches to your neck, he bit a little.

The feel of his lips now on your neck made you giggle and you moved him off of you.

With a whisper, he pleaded, "Let's go upstairs, please."

In a silent agreement, you untangled yourselves from the sofa.

You entered your bedroom and found the bedside table lamp, it cast a good light on the bed.

When you tossed off your robe, John appreciated how you left little to the imagination today, and all for him.

Reclining on the bed, your hips were on the edge of it and you sighed at the feeling of the plush underneath you.

Your position certainly enticed him to join you, and the look of you on the bed, illuminated by only a soft yellow glow, made him stiff against his trousers.

John approached the bed and stood over you, taking in every contour of your body that showed through your flimsy nightgown.

The intensity of his scrutiny made you feel intimidated, especially since you knew he was getting off on it.

He posed a question, "You want this don't you?"

This he said. That deictic rang in your head, you wondered if it meant more than what was blatantly obvious.

You made a contemplative face and said no words.

Feeling the sudden tension, he couldn't help but let a remark slip, "Cat got your tongue now?"

In the charged silence, he couldn't help but let nastiness seep into his words, as he often did.

"You're such a little tease, inviting me over like this."

"Stop it." You said smiling.

John got on his knees and held your hips. He kissed your feet, "Well, it's true, isn't it? Isn't it? 'M about to give you something aren't I?"

"And you're a slag, y'know tha' much right?"

You didn't think he meant for you to hear that, but it came out as purposeful, it came out as degrading.

His head prompted your legs to move apart for him.

You felt sickly when you felt his face flush against your heat.

He licked stripes against the thin fabric with a flat tongue, you felt yourself aching against him as he slowly and repeatedly did so.

John found your clit and the tip of his tongue intricately moved it about, you moaned contentedly.

And all the while he maintained a look, taunting you.

John pulled away to admire the pink material you wore, he fiddled with the lace that rimmed it.

You don't remember choosing to wear it with much conviction, but as long as he liked it you didn't care.

He used a finger to shift the fabric away from covering your cunt and as he did so, your hand instinctively found a harsh place in his hair.

He dipped the first half of his tongue into your hole, seemingly tasting you. His nose grazed against your clit; it was a wild feeling.

When he continually pulled back, your wetness trailed him.

John got off his knees and stood up.

You wanted him to continue giving you head, but he wasn't interested in that anymore.

He rolled your night dress up past your chest to give your tits a squeeze, your back arched.

He had fun with them, moving them together and then letting go, it was infantile.

He escalated his foreplay and made a point to straddle you.

John tugged impatiently at the straps of your bra, the fabric slipping down your arms when he couldn't seem to unhook it.

He leaned forward, his breath warm against your nipple.

He latched onto your tit with an eagerness that startled you, his lips moving in gentle circles as he worked, drawing out a dull tickling sensation that seemed to grow. He was like an infant searching desperately for sustenance, and despite the fact you weren’t lactating, it almost felt like he had found it.

Your chest tickled and it made your toes splay.

Suckling noises filled the room, he was whispering things against you, things you couldn't hear.

John pulled back and had a pleased look on his face, his lips were puffy.

He frantically removed his sweater and tossed it aside. His hands fumbled as he undid the buckle of his belt, letting his pants drop to the floor.

He stood in front of you, naked from the waist down. Biting his lip in anticipation, he took hold of his cock and rubbed himself off.

"Turn and lie on your stomach for me." He murmured.

You moved into position as instructed, pressing your face against the cool sheets.

He grabbed the hem of your nightdress and pulled it up over your back.

"You're perfect..." He cooed softly.

You parted your legs for him and he straddled you.

The weight of him pressed you into the mattress. He let out a satisfied groan when his firmness settled right against your heat.

He took his cock in his hand and entered you, his soft tip gave way for him to inch inside of you.

You were rewarded with a kiss to the back of your neck as he slowly sped up the pace, thrusting harder and harder into you. He moved back and forth, and your hips moved in tandem with his.

The bedsprings made a creaking sound with each movement he made against you, it was a sensual echo, one which he enjoyed.

Your skin met in the middle and made a moist hitting sound. You were moaning against the sheets, it was a half-hearted attempt to keep quiet.

He pulled your hips up so that you were on your knees, in a doggy position.

You found your ass in the air and your head squashed against the bed. And with that, he sped up even more, his hips moving in a frenzy.

He held onto your hips firmly and was focused solely on finishing. You tried to keep yourself from trembling, but you were failing. You eventually embraced the waves of overstimulation that were building up.

You pushed yourself harder towards him and he was giving it back just as hard. You flushed with a sudden realization that you were there, clenching around him and coating his cock with your wetness.

John kept his brisk pace but soon felt his orgasm approaching. He grabbed a length of your hair as it was within reach.

He held his cock deep inside of you and came, your entrance was filled with his cum, and it seemed he lingered to pull out of you.

John collapsed on top of you, his head resting on your shoulder.

You smiled and felt him smile back. His face was buried in your hair.

John got up and meticulously redressed himself.

He dozily kissed you, and that was his goodbye, leaving, and not looking back.

You sighed and simply lay there, your mind was buzzing with all that had just transpired to tell him to stay.

He had come, performed, and left, and that was that.

And somehow, it made everything better.

#the beatles #60s rock #the beatles imagine #the beatles smuts #the beatles x reader #john lennon #vintage #john lennon x reader #beatles art

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dekusleftsock · 1 year

Text

IVE BEEN A GOOD KID AND IVE ACTUALLY LET MYSELF LIKE. THINK ABOUT THE OFFICIAL TRANSLATIONS SO. HERE WE GO BITCHES.

(Along with some other things bouncing around, implications of togachako because of this chapter, maybe even a prediction? This is my FINAL THOUGJTS POST, unless ofc I notice something and I say it BUT HOPEFULLY THIS IS THE LAST AND ITS JUST GONNA BE ME BEING SILLY AND POSTING FANART)

1, i find it funny that Caleb said lickitung than Pikachu since that… totally doesn’t make sense nor was why Twice suggested the name. IDK IM A POKÉMON NERD AND AN MHA FAN SO I JUST FIND IT A LITTLE SILLY.

Like I think Horikoshi chose Pikachu bc it’s the most recognizable Pokémon, along with Himiko’s “chu-chu” noises she makes when she drinks blood ofc, but it was also probably suggested bc… Pikachu has the same blushies that Ochako has…

Not to mention the fact that Pikachu is also representative of Toga’s colors, those of course being red and yellow.

Lickitung makes no sense other than the fact that it paralyzes people/Pokémon by licking them and making them uncomfortable. It’s such a… random gen 1 Pokémon idfk. I can see WHY he chose it, because lickitung is supposed to be a friendly Pokémon that accidentally makes people uncomfortable, but I think Pikachu being said instead just makes far more sense; Pikachu is supposed to be a cute Pokémon. It’s origins in gen 1 were, “I want you to make the cutest Pokémon you can” and the artist Atsuko Nisida had to go through 3-5 iterations of pixel art (bc they would make the pixelated version for the game first AND THEN draw the Pokémon from that) before finally settling on what people call “fat Pikachu” which looked like this

Lickitung works ig by being a Pokémon that ultimately is harmless to people but just accidentally freaks people out and makes them off-put by them, but Pikachu fits much better in a chapter where Ochako calls Himiko’s smile, something we’re supposed to see as creepy, perfect/pretty/beautiful. Comparing her and her cuteness to something like Pikachu just seems like something twice would do anything bc he’s a sweetie like that.

ALSO ANOTHER THING FOR PEOPLE WHO KNOW NOTHING ABOUT POKÉMON: reguri is I think the most popular ship? That might be beat by Selena/ash and misty/ash, but regardless it’s super popular and also is EXTREMELY SIMILAR to bkdk.

This does depend on which version of them you’re talking about, but personally when I read pokespe (the most popular official Pokémon manga, there’s others but that’s just the most well known one) I always thought bkdk were so similar to red/blue to the point it was uncanny. At the time I thought “eh that’s just gay rival tropes there’s tons of other characters in other anime/manga/tv that are similar to them too” but after the mention OF Pikachu and Toga’s purposeful similarities I do wonder if horikoshi was a Pokémon fan in the 90’s during his childhood. That wouldn’t surprise me seeing as the games were such a booming success in Japan (literally it’s the most sold Pokémon games ever nothing has beat it since), so it would make sense if horikoshi was a secret Pokémon fan.

I mean, blues hair is even similar to bakugous but idk, maybe it’s a stretch.

They’re not childhood friends in pokespe, but they are childhood friends in the games, blue bullying him as they got older and pushing red away, red goes and has an emo arc on mount silver by himself without telling anyone, eventually comes down from that mountain in black and white 2 where red and blue are starting to be friends again, and I don’t think they’re seen again until sun and moon where they’re on vacation together in alola. There’s other outside game content that has just… progressively gotten more gay.

AGAIN, IM NOT SURE IF HORIKOSHI HAS READ THE POKESPE MANGA OR IF HE PUT THIS MUCH THOUGHT INTO IT! However I WILL say that if you enjoy bkdk you will probably enjoy reguri and the pokespe manga, especially since it has a more interesting plot than the anime or games, along with being less corny. It’s a lot more… I don’t wanna say graphic but honest? It wasn’t really made in mind that it would be targeted overseas like all the other Pokémon stuff, so it’s just more honest about environmental issues and pet abuse and things like that. Red and blues character arcs and friendship, along with Leaf’s character arc is very interesting just by itself, highly recommend.

MOVING ON… my Pokémon nerdiness aside, I love Himiko’s defiance to conform to hero society especially as a villain. Will she go against this vow because she sees herself as a full fledged villain? I wasn’t really sure.

She didn’t, which is great, but I also think those themes of pity and feeling like Ochako is still looking down on her… remind me exactly of Katsuki.

I also find this page and what toga says quite interesting.

Saying that she KNEW ochako was sad too, that’s a VERY interesting observation to make when thinking of someone you “hate”.

And I like the distinction that Ochako wasn’t afraid of Toga because of her smile being creepy, or that she was trying to harm her or tsu, but because she couldn’t understand why she was smiling during a fight.

More bakugou vibes/lines

If/when they ARE canon, explicitly and completely and all that, then that would make mha a, and idk if it’s the first, shonen GL + BL. That would be fucking crazy.

ALSO THIS? THIS IS ABSOLUTELY NOT AN IZU//OCHA MOMENT… let me explain.

It’s a couple of things: Ochako is not explicitly saying how she wishes she could talk about her love with Izuku, instead it seems to be more framed as talking ABOUT Izuku.

He’s not even looking at her, and she’s not looking at him; no, instead Ochako and Himiko are looking at each other, and talking about the importance to talk about your feelings openly, how she admires that quality to Himiko.

In a way this is Ochako saying “No, don’t become like him, this is why I admire you. That trait makes you admirable, it’s a trait I love in you.”

And lastly, that marriage proposal. Is it REALLY a marriage proposal? How romantic or platonic is this this scene?

Well, I went back and read chapter 348 to find out, and a little detail disregarded, not only by me but everyone else, was the line, “If you ask me, being a couple means being one and the same. Makes sense right? Nothing else… would fulfill my desires.”

And then ochako in 393, purposely bearing her feelings to Himiko and offering her blood to her? Even with this knowledge? The knowledge that Himiko would see this as a confession? Fucking crazy.

For all her flaws, I can perfectly picture why Ochako would prefer someone who sees romance like she does, openly unapologetic about her feelings like she is, over someone who can’t even see a teenage girls confession as an actual confession of love. Way to be selfish Izuku.

(God he would be SO offended at all the shit talking I’ve been doing to him recently HAHA! BUT HE NEEDS TO HEAR IT BC HES AN IDIOT WHO SHOULD BE TAKING HIS FEELINGS SERIOUSLY. How are you going to let the hot headed blonde kid that bullied you be better at this. HOW.)

So yes, I think this is so explicitly romantic, I literally thought this scene would never fucking happen because I KNEW how gay it was, how gay everyone KNEW it was—but god damn. Horikoshi you mad man.

#togachako #himiko toga #togaraka #togaocha #ochako uraraka #mha 393 #mha chapter 393 #mha deku #togachako brainrot

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moodymisty · 8 days

Note

Heya Misty! Your blog has cheered me up so many times since I found it last year. Genuinely, thank you for everything you share with us. Its always a ton of fun here! If I'm not too late for requests, could I request some pred/prey smut with Leman? Wolfdaddy can always use more love :) and I hope the future has nothing but blessings in store for you xx

Author's note: BARK BARK

Relationships: Leman Russ/Fem!Reader

Warnings: NSFW, Predator/Prey play, Oral (female receiving), Very light breeding kink

The tree branches scratch at your skin through your clothes, boots trampling through the deep snow. It's up to your mid calves- considered a light amount of snow on Fenris. You can feel your own hot breath fan across your face as you run through it, stumbling through the woods with no sense of direction.

Russ had given you a few hour head start, with the implication that you wouldn't even last till nightfall. You hadn't disagreed with him, though there was a sudden blossoming of pride in you that wanted to prove him wrong.

But the sun is starting to set, the sky is turning purple and orange; That sense of pride is now replaced with fear, you have a feeling he's toying with you.

You keep hearing leaves rustling and branches breaking without a trace of why, but always from a particular direction.

You know he's toying with you.

For just a moment you dare to try to stop and catch your breath, feeling your heart beat against your ribs. Your body feels hot in your clothes despite the temperature, though taking them off would be suicide in this icy chill.

A terrifyingly loud crunch has you taking your hands off your knees and putting your head on a swivel like a rabbit, taking off again through the thick snow trying to make any sort of distance- before realizing that it isn't an option.

Through the last few trees you can see the edge of the cliff, dropping down hundreds of feet into nothingness. Your throat burns in pain, each heavy breath is like knives against it's dry flesh as you stare into the abyss.

Russ herded you here- he's trying to trap you and succeeding.

"I can smell you, little wolf."

The deep rumble of his voice echoes through the trees, and you don't bother to look around before running. The snot in your nose is frozen and you can feel snowflakes against your skin, the cloth of your clothing dragging in the snow.

"You want to get bred. Once I catch you, I will."

There's absolutely nowhere to hide out here- The only foliage is the trees and even if you had the strength to climb them, you would only trap yourself for him. The instinctual want to get higher is a thing you have to fight within yourself to keep moving.

Not that he would complain if you trapped yourself; You're sure he's being lackadaisical on purpose to draw this out, to try and simulate a hunt that would actually require some effort.

"You make such good prey,"

Russ' revert back to baser, wolf taught instincts has him overjoyed at the struggling of what to him is a small animal, one who's heart is about ready to explode.

"I wonder if you could ever last the night out here."

You suddenly stumble over in the snow, the cold ice stinging your palms like needles. Through the cloud of your own breath you try and get to your feet and keep moving along the edge of the cliff to somewhere else- anywhere else, but you end up just stumbling over again as your body begins to give in.

You feel the ground rumble beneath your hands and knees and instantly your heart begins to race, the prey instinct of being injured and exposed.

"I can smell you're bleeding,"

He says, emerging from between the trees. You quickly try and scamper to your feet, only to fall right over again into the snow. A scream catches in your throat as the thought of fleeing overtakes you.

Russ however simply laughs at the struggling of his prey and quickly moves in to snatch you up, tying you wrists together as you try to escape from him.

"Let us get this bounty back to the Great Hall then, shall we."

You scream as he throws you over his shoulder, gripping you by the thigh and trudging through the snow leagues easier than you could.

There's no motion you could possibly make to free yourself from him now, and your heart finally begins to slow down once your mind catches up with the fact that this play hunt is over.

It's terrifying how a change in context can turn him into an absolute horror; And you know he's only playing.

Despite it being so easy however Russ seemed to very well enjoy it, bursting back into the blooming warmth of the Great Hall boots thundering on the ground. He tracks in snow from his boots, it crumbling to dust all over the floor and making a mess of the rugs.

"Ahh, father!"

One of the wolves guarding the hall speaks up with a pep in his voice and a warm flush to his cheeks from the chill outside.

"You finally got your prize I see!"

Embarrassment blooms on your face in a sudden explosion when you realize that Russ apparently not only told his sons about this little game, but more likely bragged about what his prize was going to be.

Russ lets out a chuckle from deep within his chest you feel vibrate in your gut, nodding at his astartes.

"Tell Bjorn he's in charge until the morn, I won't be interrupted unless it is urgent."

The wolf nods back, and watches Russ leave in the direction of his bedchambers. You are able to watch the wolf as he departs, giving you a keen look before leaving himself to presumably tell Bjorn of his temporary duties.

The entire time Russ has quite the firm hold on your thighs and ass, taking the fruit of his hunt right to his den. Once he gets there you're thrown onto the massive bed covered in pelts with little fanfare, hands still tied.

For a moment, the way Russ looks down on you is with that same predatory stare you saw out in the woods, and your heart begins to pick up pace as he approaches and hefts his weight onto the bed.

"You're taking this far more seriously than I-!" He suddenly pushes you around on the massive bed, wrapping the fabric around your wrists to connect you to part of the headboard. "Than I expected!"

Russ gives you a large, fang filled smirk.

"What, do I seem the type to half ass things?"

He doesn't quite care about your response, only about the way you squeak when he grabs hold of your clothes and rips them off of you bit by bit, the fabric scattered about. The snow you had also tracked in on your clothes dusts around the bed, some of it getting on your bare skin and making a shiver run up your body.

Your breath comes out of your throat shaking and ragged as he presses his face to your lower stomach, laughing as he grips your thighs. You can feel him intake a good breath of air as his beard digs into your skin.

"You smell even better than usual- should do this more often."

You don't know how you feel about that; You're so tired from all the running that your muscles are screaming in pain; You don't think you have the strength to do much more than lie here and simply let him have his way with you. Not that he will complain about enjoying his prize in such a way.

His mouth drifts lower, large hands pushing your thighs apart and back. You let out a soft noise in your throat.

He then presses his face between your thighs, mouth covering your cunt. He listens to the way you suddenly squeal and kick your legs, hands still locked above your head. You writhe underneath him with no way to even grab something to ground yourself, your whines echoing in the massive, high ceiling room.

The course, rough hair of his beard scratches against the skin of your thighs and outer lips, surely leaving you with hot, scuffed skin that will burn for days after. Russ finds it amusing, and will sometimes after he's done and sees the raw flesh will lick and kiss at it- listening to you try and whimper at him to stop.

You feel the deep groan he lets out rumble against your core, tongue brushing over your clit. Your thighs are tight trying to close around his head but he doesn't let them, pressing them back and far apart. He closes his lips around your clit and sucks listening to you squeal and writhe underneath him, before pulling away and laughing at the way your hips try to follow.

He drags his jaw against your leg scratching the soft skin with his beard. He can't resist giving it a quick bite also, leaving dents in the soft fat at the apex of your inner thigh.

He returns his mouth to your cunt and continues, feeling his sharp fangs occasionally catch at your skin. He may never be the most coordinated, but he makes up for it with an enthusiasm that has tears in the corners of your eyes; Spit mixing with the juices that leak from you neverending.

"R-Russ,"

Your stomach tenses almost painfully as he continues to lap at you, one hand leaving it's grip on your thighs to slip a finger past your entrance. You gasp and tighten around him, feeling the way his thick digit slips deep inside of you. It feels like he's trying to push up through your lower stomach with how deep his is, brushing deep towards your cervix.

Your one thigh pressing against his head now free, he slips a second finger inside of you and listens to you keen and writhe at the stretch. He chuckles, tongue dancing over your folds and overwhelming you until your stomach feels like it hurts so much it's going to explode; Clit throbbing underneath his tongue.

Your throat is raw from running for so long in the cold but this only makes it worse, letting out a ragged, shaking dry moan as you body goes limp and you cum on his fingers.

He continues for just a bit longer feeling the way you whimper at the overstimulation, milking every last bit out of you until there's nothing left.

Left panting and totally limp you feel his fingers leave your cunt, grimacing at the way they stretch you wider as they pull out. His mouth leaves and he wipes your juices, though it mostly smears them over his beard then actually cleaning himself.

Out of breath and limp you look up at him with wide eyes, watching as he starts to undress himself.

"Can you untie me first?"

You plead to him, watching as he undoes the top half of his clothes. You see his lower stomach, the trail of hair that leads down below his waistline and beneath his trousers.

"No. I quite like when my prey is tied up."

#leman russ x reader #primarch x reader #warhammer 40k x reader #reader insert #reader #mywriting

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lottieurl · 1 year

Note

MISTYNAT

THANK YOU I CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON YOU FHDJJS

ship it and i am SO serious about it lately. and s2 is so fascinating in that it solidified my mistynat brainrot while making me fear that the writers are about to destroy misty as a character - through walter - but! fears aside lets talk about them and how i see those characters and their dynamic and the ways in which s2 is now influencing my thoughts. SO!

my take on misty is that she's fucked in the head (that's everyone's take but bear with me) and so she doesn't want the same earnest obsessive reciprocation reflected back at her. which is why i hope whatever they do with walter crashes and burns cause it can only be INTERESTING and good for misty as a character if ultimately she doesn't WANT that (i just also think she's a lesbian but i know she won't be ~canonically so) and hear me out!!! with crystal it was different cause it was the first time misty even felt a connection to anyone who seemed to like her back AND she was a teenager. plus the thing about mistycrystal is i think it's PART of the reason she's like that. she had this illusion of complete acceptance and understanding from someone so similar to her only for that person to take it back right before dying. so that explicitly made it clear to misty that she can't have that. it's unhealthy yes (cheering clapping throwing confetti) but i think she feels safer if someone is - like nat - vaguely antagonistic towards her and yet seems to care. not only does that feel safer it also gives her that RUSH. the thrill of winning someone’s affection or i guess manipulating her way into getting it lmao it's like. a game to an extent. and BECAUSE of what happened to her in the wilderness there IS NO ONE WHO CAN GIVE HER UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE. it wouldn't MATTER if walter was fine with the black box secret cause he wasn't TRAUMATIZED TO HELL AND BACK BY IT. his acceptance means nothing. and misty CAN'T "heal" and she cannot form Healthy Attachments much like other survivors (again. cheering and throwing confetti)

and the nat part of this? LIKE LISTEN. nat who lashes out at perceived rejection? nat who can make it impossible for anyone to stick around (like the only relationship she seems to have with like anyone is with travis and if i understood correctly they haven't BEEN together for a long while and it was just seeing each other once in a while to do drugs. so. she's downright incapable of healthy relationships. like all of them obviously but i am just making a Point) so anyways. she can make pretty much everyone give up eventually cause they may care deeply but they're just not sick in the head enough to put themselves through it. enter misty. misty WON'T EVEN ACCEPT IT'S A REJECTION. AND SHE LIKES THE HIGH OF THE EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER. fucking perfect i want to read 300k of this disaster

on top of that you have the really messed up way they can relate to each other (although i don't think nat would admit that) in that both of them miss the wilderness. i mean to an extent that's true for all the survivors but we start the show with nat saying she lost her purpose when she got rescued. and in s1 we are sort of led to believe she meant that she was the hunter who was HUNTING ANIMALS and providing for the group i suppose but then we get to s2 and the implications are much different. and we end on nat being embraced by her peers in a way she's NEVER been before. which is such a parallel to misty feeling finally accepted after the crash. so you have those two characters who were both socially stigmatized and mocked/bullied during their teenage years and are still facing social rejection in adulthood. for different reasons (like. with misty lets be honest most people like her coworkers aren't aware she's like actually dangerous and whatnot. they just don't like her because she's very in your face not neurotypical. and nat is a depressed addict with an attitude) but like the social consequences are the same really

and to end on a happy note. Of Course i ship it. if something can have this in the summary of a fic and be insanely in character OF COURSE i ship it

[link to the fic which you absolutely SHOULD read it. best mistynat one EVER]

#thanks jas sorry for the fact that half of this i already said before in dms BDBSJSB #i will be answering all the other asks everyone. its just taking me ages ive been answering this one in between answering emails djsjsbsbsb #yellowjackets blogging #mistynat

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wiltking · 10 months

Text

ok - i had to go back and consult my screenshots regarding this post (the doe eyes/pouting quote) to make sure I wasn't wrong in thinking geralt's words were aimed at saskia. and sure enough, i still think that's the case, but i want to take a moment to dissect the conversation further. the whole thing is as follows:

geralt: can you tell me what'll happen to iorveth now?

saskia: let's be honest - he's a terrorist. i'll not lie about him nor whitewash his deeds. he must earn respect on his own, and perhaps, a few generations on, humans will forget.

first - i was surprised to have the option to outright ask about iorveth. yes they're friends, but i didn't think geralt would directly raise this line of questioning, especially after the direction it takes. he knows enough to worry (or at the very least care) about iorveth's safety and saskia's ability to guarantee it now that she has her pontar valley (thanks to geralt and iorveth's combined efforts). her response is sobering, but equally surprising given that recent events weren't enough for iorveth to earn her respect, or gratitude, or solidarity especially when we consider how geralt has known him for a far shorter time and has gained (seemingly) more affection and understanding for him in that time.

it's also telling that saskia thinks geralt would be on the same page as her. not to mention her implication that iorveth's only chance at redemption will come once his actions have faded into obscurity with time. as if saying, come on, we don't have to pretend anymore that iorveth has any moral standing. let's be honest.

geralt: did you intend just to use him?

saskia: geralt, iorveth has killed more humans thank you've eaten chickens. he's not one to be used - it's not that simple. he came to believe in me and knew from the start what we were fighting for. he made a choice.

not one to be deterred, geralt doesn't dispute her claims but rather questions saskia's character, accusing her of using iorveth. but saskia's response is interesting for her acknowledgement of iorveth's agency in the matter. as if she's saying he was aware of his disadvantage from the beginning, and that his feelings (?) for her were always involved, and both knew that they would lead nowhere. it was his choice to fight for her, to put everything on the line for her cause, despite knowing full well that his feelings were one sided.

geralt: sure you don't know what i'm talking about? the baby doe eyes, that intense, misty gaze, the pouting?

saskia: we shared a cause, fought side by side...

again, geralt doesn't relent. he continues to ask if saskia really wasn't purposefully playing up her looks to get iorveth into her hands. he isn't the type to easily fall for a human after all (or someone he thinks is human), much less work with one. even she must know that. she says herself that iorveth isn't one to be used, that he's a terror to all humans. an outright 'terrorist'. she later goes so far as to say the scoia'tael will be welcome in the free pontar valley. but iorveth himself? well.... (let's be honest, geralt.)

so geralt's insistence of her being at fault makes sense from his perspective. how else could she have convinced someone like iorveth to so thoroughly do her bidding? and her answers do start to fall apart when she doesn't deny playing up her doe eyes, her pouting. or maybe saskia genuinely doesn't think she did anything wrong. given her nature, i'm almost more inclined to believe her ignorance.

but if all this is true, if saskia truly didn't mean to use iorveth's personal feelings and devotion for her own gains, then geralt's decision to go to bat for iorveth (for this perceived wronging, for iorveth's heart) reveals more of geralt's affection for the elf than any intentions saskia might have had. like, sure, maybe geralt won't defend iorveth's actions. his past. his bloodshed. his morals. but he will defend iorveth's heart. on principle. by his own initiative. after all they've been through together. and that's the main takeaway of this all.

geralt: iorveth did and would do anything for you. question is - what're you prepared to do for him?

the one question i'm left with is this: what are you prepared to do for iorveth, geralt?

#i promise this is my last iorveth essay. i sweeeaaarrrrr......#long post #tw2 #also to be clear i like saskia. a lot. but i had to take a scalpel to this conversation you know how it is #the witcher

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pretty-little-howtown · 2 years

Text

Han Jisung x Idol!Reader

Genre: Suggestive, Fluff, Angust

Warnings: None (I know of, if there are any please let me know)

Word Count: 9569

Masterlist

You are a part of a 6 member girl group (CELESTE) under JYP

The group has a sort of ethereal almost mythological vibe

Each member represents, a mythical creature

The group had two previous comebacks before this theme

Mihi (lead dancer and sun vocals): fairy

The closest to the two previous comebacks

glitter purples pinks

art deco inspired, ordinary objects are pretty and ornate

Flowers, petals, some wind motifs as well

Hee-young(main vocalist, visual, makne):angel

sky heaven themes

Has a massive pair of wings in the MV

Gold, light blue

Wind motifs feathers

Yuri (main dancer, main vocals and sub rapper): elf

Also, elegant but there are glimpses of something darker

tree themes (think Galadriel LOTR)

Foresty, vines, some crystals mostly opal diamond selenite moonstone and white howlite

honestly, Lord of the Rings stylez

Aera (lead vocalist, visual): nymph

floral themes, water lilies, some more water themes

Perhaps suggest a sort of rusalka vibes (not explicit, just some sort of implication the nymph may be a vengeful spirit???)

The darker parts are more obvious but with a brighter colour palette that acts as a kind of misdirect

(Sugar Rush TXT vibes)

Y/N (main rapper, main vocals and sub dancer): vampire

The dark parts are now on full display, and fully embraced

deep red blues greens

Lace, silver

gothic with a splash of grunge

Title track has scream’s (dreamcatcher) styling with the lacy dress parts not the magic in the MV lol with a cross between Odd Eye and Nxde (with it’s sampling of classical music)

B side track is the one you got to go crazy on. It’s full rock/ metal think I Miss the Misery by Halestorm with Odd Eye’s styling)

Nam-Gli (leader and lead rapper): witch

The dark parts continue with as much elegance, but there’s a certain finality to it

dark purples, black, gold, and silver

Misty, foresty but a darker green to Yuri similar to Odd Eye MV

(As an aside: the birth order is Nam-Gli, Y/N, Aera, Mihi, Yuri, Hee-young)

Each comeback is based on one of the mythical creatures of one of the members

The group is very popular, but because comebacks are rarer than for most k-groups not massively successful

A lot goes into giving the perfect vibe, a lot of you do brand deals and modeling on the side. Aera has two dramas under her belt

You, Yuri and Nam-Gli have your own lil side trio, with you and Yuri being a duo when Nam-Gli is busy. y’all cover your favorite songs usually by other trios

The three of you had covered 3RACHA songs several times and the fans loved it

The three of you settled on the members that complemented your rapping styles with Nam-gli usually covering Han’s lines Yuri Changbin’s and you Bang Chan’s

The fans absolutely adored your little trios 3RACHA covers so JYP had the grand idea of getting your groups together and you started doing more activities with them

It started off slowly, with the label testing the waters

At first it was just your trio and 3RACHA doing a lyric challenge of sorts where they would have to rap the next line of yours and your group members verses while you would have to do the same with 3RACHA songs

The atmosphere was really nice and to your surprise you seemed to bounce off Jisung the most

You didn’t really think much of it at the time, the company probably wanted to strike while the iron was hot and get both groups some more promotion

You didn’t really think you’d see any of Stray Kids again

The company, however, had other ideas. After the fan response they knew they struck gold and quickly set up more activities for both groups

Despite initially being shocked to see Stray Kids again you found yourself natural drifting towards Jisung in the group interactions

Really quickly it was easy to see you and Jisung had wonderful chemistry in the group shows and so you ended up doing separate vlives just the two of you

The very first one started off a bit strange, the two of you had no idea what to say to each other when it was just the two of you. During group activities, the two of you would sit next to each other either piling on top of one another in fits of laughter when another member said something you found funny; defending something either of you said that you agreed on, or playfully arguing whenever you inevitably disagreed

One time, both groups were asked if a sauna was burning, what would you rather cover your private parts or your face. You and Jisung collapsed in on each other when Seungmin said the question was probably which would you protect from burning

In short, you could always rely on other members to say something for the two of you to react to

You both awkwardly asked how your morning was at the same time before bursting out with laughter, slightly diffusing the tension. While the rest of the live was slightly awkward, the initial icebreaker allowed you to joke with each other a little more

From then on, the lives usually consisted of you guys catching up with each other, Jisung excitedly telling you about his busy days while you filled him in on yours

The lives had different vibes depending on where they took place, if it was in the Stray Kids dorm the lives were far more chaotic; one day he threw a pillow at you. You glared at him, beckoning with your finger for him to come over. He looked terrified, and you struggled to keep your grin in. You subtly grasped the pillow he threw at you in your hand and hit him with all your strength, starting a pillow fight which, much to your chagrin, Jisung ended up winning

He would always do mildly annoying things to get a rise out of you, but you dealt with it with a Stoic patience, only occasionally giving in. Every live always ended in laughter

You would often stay round afterward as both of you had a break, he was remarkably chill when the cameras weren’t on him, it was difficult to get used to but refreshing

After a few hours of being high energy, you were both tired, so you’d either put on a movie or scroll through your phones, showing each other memes and catching each other up on things you couldn’t say on camera

You told him about all the comebacks for Celeste. He asked more about the groups' concept in general, and you happily explained how with each comeback a certain member is focused on as it’s their theme. Celeste's last comeback was fairy themed, so Mihi was featured the most, and she had more freedom to implement her vision. You joked that for this comeback, she became the group's pseudo leader

Jisung quickly asked when your theme would come up.

You said not for a while, as the company wants the group to establish themselves with more feminine themes first. You said Yuri’s was next, and you were still super excited by it. The concept she talked you through sounded amazing

“What concept have you got?” Jisung quickly asked. He was leaning towards you on the couch, and he’d put his phone down, listening intently

You were extremely taken aback, you’d talked at length about it with your group, seeing if they were okay with all your ideas, and they were annoyingly accommodating it made you want to cry a little.

They’d suggest ways to make your vision come true without compromising it in any way. They said it was because you did the exact same thing with their ideas. It made them really happy, and they wanted to make you happy as well

You shyly started with the mythological creature your theme was about and Jisung’s eyes went wide, “Vampire?! That’s so cool!!”

This boosted your confidence a little and you told him everything. How you wanted it to be inspired by classic vampire literature with a modern rock twist. You listed your inspirations from Dracula and Carmila to Halestorm’s music. You said you wanted the music video set to be in a gothic revival house (you didn’t mind if it was a replica or green screen as long as it fit the vibe) like Strawberry Hill in London. You realized that the rock vibe probably won’t be accepted by the higher ups, but you were sure as hell gonna try

Jisung looked at you in awe, you were amazing already, but even more so when you talked about your project. The determination in your eyes made him smile

Lives in your groups' dorm were a lot more chilled out, both of you having chill conversations perhaps scrolling through your phones if there was a lull in activity on the vlive but mostly responding to comments made by fans

This is where the fans really got to see a different side to the both of you. Often you would be working on something while Jisung read out the comments. You stop what you were doing and join in the conversation. Then you would switch, Jisung would put in an ear bud and work on his music while you carried the conversation

Occasionally you would set out vlives where people could just work with the two of you, usually when you had deadlines coming up

In the vlives at your dorm you would always be draped over each other in some way, just general keeping physical contact

For some reason after these vlives Jisung was full of energy and would end up causing a raucous, the two of you had a makeshift lightsaber fight, and you enjoyed it so much the two of you impulsive brought lightsaber replicas after

When yours arrived, you raced over to the Stray Kids dorm ready to challenge Jisung, you burst through his door activating your white lightsaber, but your eyes went wide when you noticed he was in the middle of a live

You blinked a couple times trying to hold back a laugh, “I’m so sorry, I’ll wait” you left the room with your lightsaber making whooshing noises as you left the room and closed the door

You could hear Jisung burst out laughing as Minho passed you, saying “told you so”

You quickly checked the vlive to make sure the fans weren’t mad that you interpreted, thankfully only a small handful said what you did was really disrespectful, while most were clearly enjoying themselves. There were lots of laughing emojis, with loads asking if it was a lightsaber

Jisung replied smiling saying how after your last vlive together you impulse brought yourselves lightsabers, “mine actually came today” he enthused and took out a purple lightsaber

You laughed as he swooshed it around, hearing the replica make the noise

Your cheeks heated up when all the comments started saying “lmao y/n’s a massive nerd’ Jisung laughed on your phone screen nodding his head

His eyes seemed to light up as he talked about how much you loved Star Wars and how you knew so many historical facts and how much you knew about architecture

Your stomach pleasantly twisted, causing a shiver to run up your spine

You saw Jisung sign off and quickly pocketed your phone, but not before you saw a comment teasingly saying he ‘shouldn’t keep his girlfriend waiting’

You hopped Jisung didn't glimpse that one, you knew he’d overthink your friendship and might stop acting in the same way he did

Besides, you didn’t need him overthinking at the same time as you were

He swung the door open and stared at you, expression unreadable. He took his lightsaber from behind his back and activated it, the purple glow lightly illuminated his upper body

You activated yours, and you dueled each other throughout the dorm before collapsing on the sofa and watching a movie like usual

A couple of days later, your two groups had to complete a series of challenges pulled from a challenge pile, you read yours out loud “challenge someone on the opposite team to a lightsaber duel”

You and Jisung burst out laughing, confusing both of your band members

You fell first. On a separate vlive someone asked how you’d managed to find such a good friend in Jisung, you look at the comment a little shocked, you didn’t know how to answer

Of course the content your groups make was thought of by the company for further promotion and without that you doubt you would have ever met Jisung

You tell the truth: you’re not sure, “but he always takes care of me. He always checks if I’ve eaten and checks in to see how I’m feeling, and I return the gesture in kind.” He’s always drinking energy drinks, and you’ve been trying to get him to cut back at least a little. “You’ve all seen the vlives I’m sure, and it thinks it’s really easy to tell that we’ve got a good rapport with each other and I think we’re gonna be good friends for a really long time”

Your heart clenches when you say friend, and you realise you want something more than just friendship

Jisung takes longer to come to terms with his feelings but where you lacked in action on your end he did not hesitate to initiate

Every time someone asks about you on one of his vlives his eyes light up as he compliments you to no end “she’s so nice, she always checks in on me, makes sure I’ve eaten. Oh! She’s trying to get me to cut back on energy drinks because the caffeine is bad for you and I drink way too much.” He’ll then go on to talk about your stage presence and how it absolutely mesmerises him and how you were the first member that caught his eye when your group debuted even though the fairy theme is the complete opposite of yours, you killed it

It takes relentless teasing from his band mates before he realises his feelings for you

He walks in after one of his vlives and his band mates are all talking about the will they won’t, they between the two do you

When they mention it to Jisung he obviously denies it saying he’d know if he had feelings for you, and he doesn’t, you’re just friends

Minho looks at him incredulously and pulls out an edit he saw of the two of you made by, clearly a very dedicated fan, “you look at her like you’d look at a girlfriend, and you say you don’t have feelings for her” he scoffs. “I do not look at her like that, and I do not have feelings for her. Can we drop this?”

That same night, he can’t help but reach for his phone and search your names on TikTok

The more edits he watches, the more he notices how he’s staring at you. His eyes really do betray him, and he remembered back to his vlive how his heart pounded when he talked about you and how he couldn’t stop smiling

He’d fallen hard

And just in time for your theme to be the centre of your group’s comeback

You kept it from Jisung because you wanted it to be a surprise you knew how excited he was for your theme to come up and every time he said it you willed your heart not to explode

Loads of your friends were excited, Jisung was no different, you told yourself

The comeback was steeped in deep blues, rich reds and engulfing greens, silver necklaces and black lace. The music’s tone was darker, like something watching from the shadows; it sent a chill down his spine as he watched the MV

You sampled a lot more classical music as well as used more classical instruments (violin especially) to give a more gothic feel to the comeback, all somehow perfectly intertwined with some fully rock songs.

At the very end, you let out a splendidly sultry laugh, showing off the fangs made especially for the comeback. If you had to be honest you kinda liked them, probably too much

JYP decided it would be good publicity for both groups to have Stray Kids react to your group’s most recent comeback, especially as the two groups were still close despite your groups popularity rising and thus having less activities together

There were lots of shocked expressions and ‘whoas’ coming from the group in general. They were used to the bright colour palettes and upbeat feelings of your group's songs

Despite there being a lot of posing and standing, the boys found it endlessly compelling, there were bursts of quick movement where the screen would go blank, and you would end up in a different place on the screen

Similarly, there would be a blur of motion followed by one of the members changing their position in the room

Jisung watched intently whenever, you showed up on screen of the title track’s MV, by the end he was brimming with pride knowing you were the main driving force behind the comeback

He watched you fully sink into the role, more than he’d ever seen you do before, you embodied the vampires of legend, you were dangerous but endlessly enticing

While most of the scenes took place on a set that resembled and old mediaeval castle, the choreography scenes were set inside a hall clearly inspired by Strawberry Hill

Chan, mostly impressed with the composition of the song, asked who’s theme the comeback was, before someone from behind the camera could answer Jisung beamed and yelled “Y/N’s it was Y/N’s.”

When the group looked at him questioningly, he said you had told him everything about your vision, he just had no idea it was coming up next. You must have kept it from him as a surprise

The group talked more about what they thought was really good about the comeback’s title track, from the lyrics to the set design

Next, they showed the boys the album’s B-side track; even Jisung, knowing everything he did, was utterly shocked. Like you mentioned, he didn’t think the company would allow you to do a fully rock song

The lyrics seemed to hit really close to home, the song expressed the frustration in knowing your feelings for someone but not being able to do anything about it, having to hold back every time they’re around you. Not allowing yourself to give in and the hurt that carried with that

Not to mention, the visuals were heartbreakingly beautiful, seeing you laying in a forest with a—very familiar to him—band hoodie and ripped bell bottom jeans just staring at the sky made him feel things!

All he could do was stare at the screen watching the credits roll by, and he kept noticing your name a lot more than in the title track

Everyone was in awe and thought they’d seen it all

The video ended with the whole of Stray Kids wishing your group the best of luck throughout your promotion and that they’ll see your group at your comeback stage

Needless to say it was an absolute hit, within the first couple hours there were already thousands views on the title track’s MV with the number was steadily growing

You and your group prepared frantically for the comeback backstage. Everyone was rushing about getting makeup and any clothing alterations done

Yuri rushed over to you to make sure you were okay, judging from your expression you were very anxious, “hey, what are you worried about?” she asked

You were taken slightly aback that she was able to tell, but realistically, who wouldn’t. It was very clear you had been a ball of stress ever since before the comeback was even released. “I don’t know, just-what if it all goes horribly wrong? It’s on me, I suggested the concept. I picked all the outfits, set the staging, sure the video has enough views, but they’re a meaningless metric of popularity for the company. If they don’t receive a high profit from album sales and promotions, that’s it. It’s the end-”

You continued rambling until Yuri interrupted you, “you were not the only one, if the company saw something they knew wouldn’t work they wouldn’t have let it happen. Besides, this comeback was awesome! I, for one, loved every second. I don’t think that’s the only reason you're nervous. I think it has something to do with a certain boy group member you often hang out with and his opinion”

You gave her a warning glance, taking a deep breath. Yuri just patted you on the back and let you finish getting ready

Jisung watched the entire comeback stage in awe, his expectations were utterly blown away, you looked stunning in your outfit and the looks you gave on stage were perfect

You brilliantly embodied the essence of enticing but deadly on screen and stage

The red skirt opened and closed around your thighs with every movement, contrasting with the tucked in baggy band T-shirt, that was also in the B-side music video. He smiled, you thought of every detail

God, he wanted to kiss you so bad

With the very last beat of the stage, fake blood was poured all over you and staying in character you smirked at the camera running your tongue over your teeth as you grinned bringing attention to the fangs you’d worn for the performance

You got a small break where you promote the album more, telling them there were more performances still to go

You did all that without paying any attention to the blood still dripping down your face, seeping into your clothes and Jisung couldn’t keep the image of you grinning as blood dripped down your face out of his head

you took one last gulp of water and set yourself in position for the B-Side track performance

It was just as high energy as the title track but with more intricate group movements usually surrounding you singing your lungs out in the middle

At the end you all bowed and one of the staff came out in stage whispering in your ear and ushering you off stage

Everyone was confused until Nam-Gli clarified the staff wanted you to get changed because the dripping blood was a bit of a safety hazard, all while avoiding several pools of fake blood on the floor

The audience and group laughed at the side steps, but thankfully staff came out with mops cleaning the blood patches

As they’d finished you ran back on stage and Jisung nearly choked, there was no way you could have looked more stunning on your big day yet here you were. Pulling out surprise after surprise

The entire outfit was skin tight, a stark contrast from the previous look, under the black jacket's front buckles was a black bustier top that slotted inside the hem of the leather chained and pleated skirt

Jisung was relieved to see you kept the thigh highs, he’d never admit it, but they were his favourite part of the ensemble

The stage continued with renditions of previous songs as well as a rehash of the title and B-Side until, tired and ready for bed, your group bid everyone goodbye leaving the stage

Turns out Stray Kids left early because they were all stood backstage waiting to congratulate you all

Jisung launched himself at you as soon as he saw you, enveloping you and in a tight hug. He breathed in your scent as he buried his face in your neck and refused to let go, until Chan cleared his throat at which point you separated

After several congratulations and cheers, the conversations started separating off

You stood next to Jisung with Changbin and Yuri, all of you conversing about the coming days both for your group and Stray Kids

You barely paid attention to their words, hyper focused on how close your hand was to the Jisung’s, you could feel the heat radiating off it

One tiny shift and your pinkies would be intertwined, another small shift, and you’d comfortably fold your hand into his

Your hand twitched a little at the thought, so desperate to follow through on your desires but ultimately stopping short

You couldn’t do it, you made up excuses for yourself, he hasn’t given any clear indication he likes you, the dreaded dating ban. Not that you followed all the rules, but this one was just too convenient

When you left your daze Jisung was staring at you and once you made eye contact he reached for your hand folding it into his own

Your heart jumped, did this mean what you thought it meant ?

“Can I speak to you?” you saw a small flash of pink dust his cheeks, “privately”

Your heart lurched again as you nodded, not breaking eye contact

He dragged you into a dressing room and stood in front of you, this time holding both your hands

“I wanted to take a moment to congratulate you, personally. You were amazing. I mean, I couldn’t take my eyes off you. You were mesmerising,” he grinned, and you smiled back, your heart swelling with each word.

“I’m so proud of all you’ve accomplished already, and it’s only the beginning”

Meanwhile, the group were placing bets as to why Jisung pulled you into another room, he wasn’t exactly subtle

“They’re definitely gonna bone?” Minho deadpanned

“Ew gross, they’re not gonna do that”, exclaimed Mihi

“No I agree, Jisung’s too much of a chicken, probably hasn’t even kissed her,” Changbin teased

Felix then chimed in, “it’s weird he’d go for Y/N. I was always under the impression Nam-Gli would be more his type”

“Please,” she dismissed Felix’s claim, “I want someone who can take care of me, I’ve already got my hand full raising these four”

“What about Y/N?” Chan frowned

“She’s an equally stressed parent” Nam-Gil smiled and the group laughed

Back in the dressing room, Jisung continued, “I can’t wait to see my best friend grow and become even more famous!”

Wuhoh, ‘best friend’ your brain wouldn’t stop repeating the word, it packed onto it and refused to let go

Jisung regretted it as soon as he said it, it felt so wrong, it made his stomach churn

You managed a weak smile and replied, “thank you so much,” you slipped your hands from Jisung’s warm hold, “we should probably head back and all go home. It’s late, I don’t want the girls to think I’m doing anything weird”

“Oh yes, totally, this was just a casual conversation between best friends,” Jisung really couldn’t stop himself. He had no idea what else to say, my crush? A conversation between two people who could possibly grow to have a long and beautiful relationship? Maybe start a family that spans a generation, with each child being more successful than the previous?

At least ‘best friend’ wouldn’t freak her out as much he thought

‘Best friend’ that infernal title was stuck with you all the way to your bed, nagging you and telling you we're stupidly misinterpreting the signals. He was just being friendly

Soon you fell into a flat dreamless sleep

When Jisung got back instead of sleeping, he looked up his and your name again. On TikTok, YouTube, everything. He found several edits that made him smile a little

Twitter, however, made him blush the most, it was filled with playful ‘wish he looked at me like that’ followed by screenshots of his staring at you in joint lives

Others were from the video filmed of his group's reactions to your comeback. The tweets talked about how absolutely whipped he looked for you, mostly with, ‘we all know who that look’s for ;)’ and ‘jiy/n dating when?’ comments

Part of him hoped you’d see these and know, he didn’t mean that he only wanted to be best friends but the other hopped to god you didn’t see them to save him the embarrassment

He fell asleep to an edit of the two of you with the classic sickly love song played in the background

You weren’t able to see Jisung as often as you had previously, the comeback schedule was gruelling, but perhaps it was for the better

At least not seeing him meant you didn’t have to hear ‘best friend’ emerge from his lips and painfully lodge itself inside your heart

Jisung, however, couldn’t help but feel upset. Every time he saw you his heart filled with a strange mix of pride and adoration with an insufferable anxiety because why were you only just texting him back it’s been an hour?

Your comeback schedule kept you too busy for Jisung’s liking. He understood, he really did, but after the so dubbed ‘best friend’ incident he was constantly on edge seeing you

Maybe ‘best friend’ did freak you out and your comeback was nothing but a perfectly convenient excuse to ignore him

You sat on a raised bench behind three of your bandmates in between the other two, there was no missing you

Each of one of you was given a pointer for your ‘most likely to’ game

You enjoyed some fun ones like, “who’s most likely to stack it on a night out?” “who would not realise they stayed up all night because they were too busy playing video games?” etc.

It was hilarious getting to know new things about your members you never would have before

When the next question got asked, you froze, ‘most likely to fall in love with someone from another group?’

Act natural you thought as everyone pointed at you

You tried to diffuse some of your nerves by delaying your point for comedic effect, the MC laughed, so it must have worked a little

“Me?” you mock gasped, “I would never!” all the members laughed, and you chuckled along with them

“Oh, are you sure?” Yuri teased, “it seems exactly like something you’d do”

“In all seriousness is it?” the MC asked

“I mean, if it happens, it happens” your heart skipped a beat thinking of one person in particular. “I’d like to say, I’m aware our group's dating ban isn’t over yet, so I wouldn’t do anything I’m not supposed to. Besides, feelings aren’t always reciprocated” you ended with a bittersweet smile

Feeling the tension you left in the air, you spoke up again, “unless of course your Yuri, who responds to so much fan mail she can barely keep up,” you smiled brightly

Yuri blushed to the backdrop of all the members laughing, “aww don’t be embarrassed, it’s cute” you smiled again, and she shyly smiled back with the rest of the members giving small chuckles at the interaction

Jisung had finally decided on something to occupy his time with.

He had been working on lyrics to a new song

The frustration that came with the “best friend” incident gave him a sick sort of inspiration, making him want to write his feelings into song

One song was about how one person can make you want to be the best version of yourself while the other, he imagined, as a sort of sister track to your comebacks b-side track

He quickly looked up from his notebook to his phone, still pinging with a notification

He picked it up immediately, hoping it was a text from you

Sadly it was just a YouTube notification for your group’s newest video

He was curious and couldn’t stop himself from clicking the notification and watching the video

He laughed a couple of times thinking how he would have probably picked the same members having known them for so long

All of a sudden, all the pointers are on you

The answer to the question sparked hope in Jisung, if you were most likely to get with someone from another group he could shoot his shot

Perhaps the “best friend” incident was long forgotten, but his heart wrenched when he heard your response

To him, it was clearly aimed and didn’t miss

As a result he decided to drop hints like Hansel and Gretel dropped crumbs in your next vlive hopping the trail would lead you to his true feelings

He started the live before you came in so the two of you could get right to it, and he could have your usual alone time with you quicker

You walked into his dorm room with heavy steps

You’d rushed over after recording the relay dance for the B-side track and were exhausted, but you really couldn’t miss this opportunity. You hadn’t properly interacted with fans in weeks

Jisung noticed immediately and asked if you were okay. You just tiredly looked at him and sat down with a lopsided smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes

You didn’t want to admit in front of fans that you were exhausted

Jisung noticed and did the first thing he could think of to distract the fans

“Where's my hug?” he pouted, and you looked at him confused

Jisung continued his half serious pout, “I really wanted a hug but since you won’t give me one I’ll have to take it!” he grinned and quickly wrapped you up tightly in his arms

“Jisung come on, let go,” you lightly chuckled

“Nope, I’m not letting go until you hug me back,” Jisung proudly stated

You rolled your eyes smiling and wrapped your arms around his neck burying your head in it, and he did the same

You breathed in his scent and whispered in his ear, “I feel a lot less tired now, thank you” then pulled away and smiled

“You happy now?” You teased out loud

Jisung’s heart beat so fast in his chest the rest of his body couldn’t seem to keep up, but he smiled nonetheless

He started at you and gave you a killer grin, “I’m always happy when you’re around”

It was your heart's turn to explode. You bit your lip and turned round to the screen seeing the comments full off, ‘ew guys get a room’ with Jisung quickly replying that they’re already in one making your eyes go wide

He then quickly and expertly changed the topic asking how everyone was and what they were up to, picking out and responding to the ones he managed to catch in the sea of comments

The live went by smoothly, and you noticed Jisung would bump your hand with his every so often almost like he wanted to take your hand, god you wanted him to take your hand

He pulled away to switch the song that he’d put it on in the background and carried on talking to the fans

You really tried to stay in the conversation, but you zoned out singing along to the music under your breath (imagining 2/14 by the band CAMINO)

Jisung noticed and smiled before joining in

You both fell into the rhythm of the music, vocals effortlessly moulding together into a beautiful concert

The fans adored it, with comments of ‘you guys should perform together!’

You smiled at each other and said that maybe one day you’d be able to get it organised

When the live ended, he grasped your hand, fulfilling your deepest want of the moment before leading you away to the sofa when he draped himself over you as soon as you sat down

“You sure you’re okay?” Jisung asked, “you looked absolutely exhausted.” He looked at you with care and sympathy. You replied that you were better now, just tired from filming

He, still draped over you on the sofa, tangled your legs together and asked you to tell him what you’d been up to

You indulged him relaying the events of the day

Jisung didn’t look away for a single moment, his eyes betrayed warmth as he inched closer to you

You drew out the last syllable of your sentence and went silent, looking into Jisung’s eyes

Your breath hitched, and your eyes were half closed as his face closed in on yours. “Ji,” you breathed, “what are you going?” you whispered smiling and glancing at his lips

“Call me that more,” he sighed, looking up from your lips to meet your eyes; a fire just behind his pupils

This was it, it was the moment you’d know Jisung didn’t mean the stupid friend comment, there’s no way you could be friends when all he wants to do is kiss you until you were out of breath

There’s no way he could only be friends with you when he wants to nip chains of bruises down your collarbone

There’s no way he could only be friends when he wanted you to rake your hands through his hair

Time slowed to a crawl, you were in a parallel universe where time didn’t move and the consequences of a kiss didn’t matter

A parallel universe with just the two of you, no company, no toxic fans, nothing that would get in the way of your affection for one another; where your connection wouldn’t be denied but accepted and encouraged

You focused on his lips, and you felt his searing breath on your lips

He was so close, you were impatient

Before you could launch yourself at him, you heard a sharp knock on the door

The two of you threw yourselves at opposite ends of the sofa as the voice that belong to the knock said “I’m coming in”

The door opens, revealing a mildly annoyed Minho “are you coming or did you forget?”

Jisung stared at him blankly, you could see the cogs moving in his brain, and he yelled apologies

He shot up from the couch, and you knew this was your cue to leave

You walked to the door but were stopped by Jisung who wrapped his arms around you and quickly whispered “I’ll see you soon”

Your lips were still blazing on the way back to your dorm

Your members were enjoying their free time by watching a new drama on Netflix as you walked through the door

You took off, your shoes and sat down next to Aera on the arm of the sofa

Everyone turned to face you and Nam-Gli asked, “So how was it?”

You gulped and yelled, “such a normal time!”

“Why are you being weird?” Yuri asked, eyeing you up suspiciously

“I’m not being weird, you're being weird,” you rapidly released the words

“Very chill response,” Yuri responded in a flat tone, “now tell us what happened”

“Me and Ji- we,” you took a deep breath, “we nearly kissed. Minho interrupted. Turns out he had to go to an event but forgot about it”

You looked away as they yelled in surprise

“What are you gonna do when you see him next? You guys have another vlive in about two weeks, don't you?” Mihi asked

“Honestly, I don’t think I can face him after this. What am I supposed to say? ‘Let's continue where we left off?’” you grimaced

“YES,” Yuri yelled, “just get together already! Do not use the dating ban excuse, I know for a fact you couldn't care less”

The two of you argued about the importance of the dating ban, with you trying to defend yourself because ‘it’s not just an excuse’

“Okay, we get it you disagree,” Nam-Gli quelled the fire. “How about you give yourself until your next vlive together to see him? That way you can put it out of your mind?”

You nodded, grateful for her intervention, you relaxed and continued watching the drama with the rest of the group

You woke up feeling refreshed until you remembered why you wanted sleep to refresh you

Your heart started racing, remembering the events of the last day, and you couldn’t help but smile

There was hope after all

Be quickly the hope turned to anxiety, the dating ban was still in effect and would be for another few weeks, and you promised fans you and Jisung would perform together

That meant weeks of working closely with him every day after the two of you nearly kissed

You took out the switch you’d saved up for a booted up Legend of Zelda, hoping it would distract you, and it worked for a couple of hours

You finally found one of Links missing memories and as the cut scene played it was strangely captivating

Usually you would have skipped over it, having played this game to completion several times already. But something about the way Zelda looked at Link was familiar

You couldn’t help it when you reached for the phone you had been religiously ignoring since waking up

You clicked on his contact, seeing only one unread message when you expected more: ‘how do you want to pitch a song cover to the company?’

You couldn’t decide if you were relieved or angry that he said nothing about yesterday’s incident

You ignored it for as long as your mind would allow you before you huffed and picked up your phone

You replied with a mostly generic response about how the fans really wanted it and it would give both of your groups exposure

The two of you texted back and forth until you had a plan of action and before long you decided to meet with the company in a couple days as Jisung already managed to set up a meeting with the execs somehow

Overall the conversation was painfully professional. Neither of you cracked any jokes or referenced your favourite shows. It was so unlike you

Despite all of this you still hoped, he set up the meeting way too quickly.

Of course there was the possibility he wanted this partnership over with as quickly as possible but there was no way that could be true. Not with the fire behind his eyes when he looked at you

Jisung waited impatiently in the building lobby for you to appear

You hadn’t brought up the nearly kiss at all and he was worried. Did you think he was weird? Maybe he should have waited and dropped more hints. Was he moving too fast?

He nerves stilled when you walked through the door, despite your smile being slightly awkward it made Jisung feel light

“So shall we?” you asked

It was a simple phrase that meant nothing but what was on the tin but it made Jisung soar, he hadn’t heard your voice in longer than you would like

The two of you talked to the executives who loved your idea

Jisung watched as you professionally presented all the benefits this collaboration would have and how this is something that the company would be able to carry on into the future

He wasn’t expecting you to say anything about the future especially after the last incident

As you wrapped up your pitch the execs asked what song the two of you wanted to cover, Jisung hadn’t even thought that far but it seems you had. Immediately with confidence you said ‘PING PONG’ by Hyuna and Dawn

He could feel heat crawl up his face but despite this he still nodded his head and smiled after seeing your own impossibly infectious grin

“Great the matter is settled, you guys can work on it in time for the next award show” one of the execs said with a grin

The next few weeks you and Jisung saw each other every day for at least and hour if not more

Both of you decided to work on learning the choreography first because at you listened to the song to learn the choreography you’d pick up the lyrics easily

As a result your joint lives were mostly updating fans on how the rehearsal process was going

Despite your worst fears the vlives weren’t as awkward as you pictured, the energy flowed between the two of you effortlessly

However, you noticed how where previously he’s have a hand on some part of you body be it you are or your knee, he now refused to have any part of him closer than would be considered disrespectful

You missed his warmth. You were upset because you could tell he was holding himself back

You could imagine why, but it’s not like you pulled away during the incident. In Fact you distinctly remember yourself moving closer, until Miho barged in

Between the bittersweet lives and standing nearly every spare moment practising with Jisung the award show hd rolled around quicker that you expected

For some reason you signed yourself and Jisung up to be the opening act for the award show and regretted it

It hit you that you were supposed to perform a song made for a performed by a couple

Just you and Jisung. Just you and the one person you wished desperately to be in a relationship with but couldn’t

It was all well and good casually running through all the moves in rehearsal but this was serious

You felt nervous as you thought about what the fans would say

Most would not doubt enjoy it but you couldn't help but focus on the ones who believed they owned the idols they admire

All of a sudden you were hyper aware of the dating ban that had ended only a couple days prior

If the two of you were too close it would not doubt cause a scandal

Your mind spiralled as you imagined the headlines calling you undignified, loose, easy

“Hey, you’re gonna do amazing,” were the words that stopped your spiral, they were soft and reassuring. You knew painfully well who they belonged to

You took a deep breath and looked Jisung in the eye and he smiled

It made you insides melt and you were certain he could see it on you face because his eyes darted to you lips for a split second

You recalled how close he was to kissing you in his dorm room and once again thought back to the dating ban

If it was finished surely there was no harm right?

“Yeah, we’re gonna smash this,” you smiled back. “We’ve rehearsed this song so much it might as well have been made for us to perform,” you joked begging no one noticed the implications of your statement

Jisung only hummed and his eyes looked to your lips once again, this time they stayed there for longer than they should have

You licked your lips gently, part of you wanting to make sure they were ready for Jisung to capture them after so long

The other knew it wouldn’t happen as you saw the PA approach to tell you you were on in less than three minutes

Just like in the original you started off the show, the train attached to the right side of your body suit swayed along with your body

You felt confident and full of energy until you felt Jisung’s hand trail all the way up your leg confidently brushing your ass

Thankfully you were facing away from the audience allowing you time to collect yourself

You knew this would be more intense than rehearsals but you didn’t expect Jisung to go this hard

It fired you up and you decided to give it your all as well

Jiung could feel the heat crawl up his face as you shake your ass dangerously close to his crotch

He couldn’t help but smirk as you bit your lip looking him directly in the eye as if to challenge him

He eagerly accepted and the while performance had a push and pull effect to it

The two of you goaded each other on stage testing the waters every time your faces got too close to be called innocent

The built up tension culminated in Jisung dipping you and you holding his face in you hand ready for him to bend don and kiss you as the song ended

The two of you stayed in that position with massive grins on your faces until you couldn’t hold it anymore and Jisung pulled you up and you buried you face i your neck as he laughed and waved at cheering crowd

Once you recovered your turned around and waved at them as well smiling widely

Jisungs hand never left your waist

The two of you left the stage and you shot like a bullet towards Yuri who was silently screaming and telling you how good you were

Chan came up to Jisung and clapped him on the back but Jsiung couldn’t keep his eyes off you

He knew this was the moment to tell you. He was sure you must have known but he still gave you your space

He couldn’t lie and say he was entirely confident, there was a part of him that was worried because you hadn’t made any moved

But he had to tell you

Jisung walked over to you still smiling and took you hand in his, “can I talk to you, privately?” you glanced at Yuri who nodded and gave you a knowing look

“Sure,” you replied, content with your hand in his. You could get used to this you thought

He lead you towards a dressing room and closed the door behind you

You basked in each others presence just looking at each other

“You really went for it didn’t you?” you questioned with a smile

“Sorry, was it too much?” Jisung answered taking several steps closer to you

“No,” you breathed out, “it was perfect.”

You stayed still for a moment and Jisung admired the grin on your face

The silence was comfortable and electric, calm and expectant

“I really hope I haven’t misinterpreted things but I really like you-”

You cut Jisung off before he could say more, “I know. I really like you too,” you trailed off

“But?” Jisung asked with a mixture of hurt and frustration. If you liked each other what could possibly be stopping you?

“But, I’m not sure we should do anything right now. My dating ban’s only just been lifted and I don’t want to make things more difficult for either of us” you explained

Jisung was ready to argue, he was ready to present every piece of evidence that supported the two of you dating but this wasn't one he had prepared for

Much to his dismay he couldn’t argue with you on that point

Whatever happened he knew, that he would come out unscathed but you on the other hand. Well it would be a lot harder for you

His mouth opened and closed as you apologised before leaving him in the room alone with his thoughts

You gulped and went to perform your groups stage, you put on a show for the cameras and tried not to betray heartache in your eyes

Jisung did the same he finished his group’s stage and after neither of your groups won this particular award he went home disappointed

The rest of the members were getting slightly worried for him, exchanging glances

Minho ended up sitting down next to him on the sofa of their dorm

“I’m guessing talking about your feelings didn’t go well?” he asked tentatively

Jisung choked out a ‘no’ and repeated your exact reasoning

“That’s bullshit,” Minho stated

Jisung stared at him shocked, waiting for him to explain

“Sure dating is terrifying but hiding behind the dating ban is nothing but an excuse,” Minho expended

Jisung replied with his reasoning and Minho refused every claim

Jisung bit his lip, “ok well it’s not like I can do anything now,” he explained how he’d agreed and you would have to be the one who comes to him and tell him you’re ready

But Minho frustrated mumbled something under his breath and left

Thanks to your stellar performance the company said you and Jisung can have a break from your activities, that included your collective vlives, much to your relief

You couldn't imagine facing Jisung after what you told him. Not to mention you had already had an argument with Yuri about what you’d told Jisung

It was much the same as always; Yuri telling you to stop hiding behind the dating ban and you trying to explain you weren’t hiding behind it and this is the ebay option for everyone

You reached for yet another tib of ice cream hoping it would stop you from wanting to text Jisung

Any thought of him was painful but what was more painful was being apart

You missed your vlives, you missed hanging out with him after them, you missed the way his body melted into yours when he was draped over you on the sofa

Jisung tried taking his mind off the situation but nothing worked, not properly

Instead he dived back into work and finished the song he started all those months ago

At least this way he could work through his feelings

He frantically scribbled lyrics rewriting them to fit the beat of your bride track

He wanted the two songs to be connected even though the two of you couldn’t