#again. learning process
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Art Improvement as portrayed by my Very Good Bad Thing art
(More will be added, commentary in tags)



#I just straight up did not draw any humans before#like none. I Only drew monsters and fnaf tbh#the last one needs darker spots and Mysterion’s face needs work. i was trying too hard not to make the drawing too dark like I usually do#same goes for the third from last. I was so focused on not making it dark that it turned out way too light. also his pupils. theyre small a#Huntress' skin needs more colour#the first and second ones are just bad. but I dont expect anything else from my first drawings. its a learning process#Chaos' hand in the third one is tiny and all wrong but I like how I did the colour at least#again. learning process#Im sure I'll draw one for the next chapter too. I'll reblog this post with all future drawings and commentary#mysterion#mychaos#chaos#my art#I'll also probably make another one of these post with just south park art in general if I can dig up enough of it#fic art#VGBT
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11/20
#big day for doomed yaoi enjoyers#(me)#i’m never ever doing this again i was screaming every minute coloring this i literally cannot do hard light#biggest case of “trust the process” i’ve ever experienced in my life#also i was gonna originally do a gun instead of knife to keep it canon but i quickly learned i can’t in fact draw guns#a knife is more symbolic anyway. stabbed in the back. yk#(trying to comfort myself that i can’t draw firearms even after eight years of art)#i remember playing this scene for the first time and actually breaking down at 2am bc that betrayal STUNG#i actually had no remorse for akechi after that 😭😭 i actually felt like a sadist for enjoying beating his ass in shidos palace#akechi as a character was specifically designed to make me go through all five stages of grief within a matter of minutes#absolute rollercoaster of emotions#ANYWAY IM FINALLY FREE TIME TO NOT DO ART FOR THE NEXT FOUR MONTHS 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼#persona 5 royal#persona 5#p5#p5r#ren amamiya#akira kurusu#goro akechi#akechi goro#shuake#akeshu#lotus draws
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pathologic 3 announcement made me return to the classic game and finally play it properly! i think my favorite part of the bachelor's route is when he talks to maria kaina (or whoever's in her body at the time) and they explain that their planned Utopia isn’t even supposed to be a 'perfect' place but instead 'the mystical manifestation of a world inscrutable and inaccessible to men' going back to the original meaning of the word irl and instead of despairing Daniil fervently agrees that this kind of unimaginable leap is worth it, no matter where it actually leads
#pathologic#the bachelor#daniil dankovsky#andrey stamatin#peter stamatin#maria kaina#nina kaina#recent interview with dybowski made me kind of apprehensive#because i love the idea of an emotional state as a fundamental game mechanic for the bachelor but#he was very focused on the idea of following the 'teacher' in Simon and in the process learning everything he was meant to learn#despite never really 'catching' the dead guy in his time loops#i feel that the head of the studio is just projecting again#and in a way that old version of the bachelor made back when he was a student in his twenties#could end up seeming more compelling in the end#but we'll SEE#i am still wildly hopeful and hype#my artwork#ALSO anybody who likes the bachelor and reads those rambling tags#you should totally check out blank monk by chekhov#its short
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wanderer's adventures in sumeru
THANK YOU FOR 70 FOLLOWERS BY THE WAY!! some news, i made an offical art twitter account! 🥳 its @/marsunshi and i linked it, right now im focused on genshin there and will be a lot more active, but im still going to try and post mcsm content here because i have Many wips ^^ i also have my ao3 linked there and i have a few drafts of mcsm works that i might post at some point..who knows
#i love the idea of scara learning to allow himself to do things without thinking twice#picking flowers for nahida and asking tighnaris advice#actually conversating#sword dancing with nilou#he doesnt have anything to be defensive about anymore so he learns to just Be#his healing process is directly tied to sumeru and i want to see more of how he interacts with it's people#when hes not fighting them or launching them across field (ahem ahem interdarshan championship)#genshin#genshin impact#wanderer#scaramouche#kaveh#nilou#dehya#tighnari#doodle#scara in the first one can either be feeling guilty about shocking tnri in the AQ or wishing he could do it again in that moment#its up for interpretation
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day 4 of ugly sketching (and posting) a random character until I learn something to love drawing again
#kung lao#mortal kombat#mortal kombat 1#mk1#helsensm art#UPD tags#I hate it#I hate it so much#I hate the lack of motivation and ideas#I hate the process I hate the result#I hate how ugly it looks and the fact that people see it#and I hate that I must either stop drawing at all and be miserable#or deal with the discomfort of drawing and posting it and be miserable#in hope that with time the situation will get better#and I will learn to love drawing again
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more artfight crops! lichen for @hceinart, maeve dunmeer for @roocharffer, and ashadin'an mahariel (and fen) for @sapphodera 😊
#artfight#my art#other people's ocs#slowing down quite a bit from the first week... i can't believe the month is half over... need to find the momentum again#i do still feel like im learning a lot about my own art and processes though which is rly cool 😊😊
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come out
#look back was so good oh my goddddddddddddddddddddddddd#iwant to rewatch it a million trillion billion times#there were some parts of the manga that i couldnt recall when trying to remmeber the story#and then as it slowly unfolded in the movie my brain started piecing it back together again and i was like oh fuck. like my stomach dropped#stayed for the interviews afterwards too learning about the process was really interesting#auuhg. agughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.#look back#ayumu fujino#kyomoto#my art
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Never talk yourself out of making really stupid things as a show of skill. Trust in making really stupid things as a show of skill. You will become stronger than you can even fathom by making really stupid things as a show of skill.
#passenger status#this is about learning how to do something new because i wanted to be able to do it. i don't have skill yet but i will.#this can also be about you picking up drawing again or starting to try to make music or whatever else. and it should be.#the process is the thing to love and doing it is what makes you better at it#love is fake anyway the game
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cat magnet
#souyo#yu narukami#souji seta#yosuke hanamura#p4#persona 4#cat’s art#p3#p5#if you look closely there are THREE cats in this image#actually i think of yosuke as a dogboy honestly. idk tho i have to get through the p4 story first#i botched my own study again gaaah. hashtag learning process i guess??#yu the catguy. so full of kindness AUUUUUHGH
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OKAY LAST POST OF THE DAY THEN I'M DONE–
This is something I was VERY nervous to post for some reason, but I've been SUPER into Elden Ring lately so, here's some designs I did for Archie and Maxie a few months back!!
( @abiding-by-the-laws-of-color and @ribbononline were huge inspirations for both the background and parts of the design process!! )
This took me about 3 weeks total because I had some struggles with them design wise (mostly Maxie, his gave me the most trouble), but in the end I'm VERY happy with them!! Maxie's minimal armor was inspired by the Black Knife Set, while Archie's is a mix of the Solitude Set and Relanna's Set and, had I drawn it, his helmet would've been like Guile's.
#i have a lot i could yap about with what went into the design process for these two but i wont LMFAO#Maxie's meant to be an Int build with mostly soceries#Archie's a Strength build greataxe haver bc I think him having a giant axe will always be cool asf in my mind#my three week struggle on these months ago was WORTH it brother#i learned a lot about rendering on these two and im SO glad#pokemon#magma leader maxie#aqua leader archie#hardenshipping#pokemon oras#elden ring#sorry elden ring enjoyers who see this#nugget art!!#nugget's yapping again
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Durgetash Resurrection AU
"Is that...? That's my body. I remember now. The Morphic Pool. The Elder Brain, it... I was dead. What did you do?" "I made a deal... with Lord Bane."
#durgetash#bg3#enver gortash#the dark urge#durgetash resurrection au#it's about time i made some durgetash content that isn't just shitposting lol#i promise i do plan to actually write this fic#god i know this looks like a happy reunion but i promise it will not be that simple#he's not exactly happy she's usurped him as bane's chosen#and the torture he experienced at bane's hand when he was dead does impact him significantly#but at the same time he's glad it's over so he's also grateful too#but also he spent so much time in hell as a child wishing someone would come save him until he learned he couldn't rely on anyone else#that now that someone actually has saved him he doesn't know how to process it#and yes bane doesn't insist on having just one chosen but he's not going to re-accept gortash easily#he'll have to prove himself all over again whereas durge is on top of the world right now#and he doesn't want her hand outs#and bane may say he's fine with them ruling together for now but you just know he's going to pit them against each other too#and durge is hardly soft herself. she saved him for her own reasons but she's not going to give up power for him. the netherbrain is HERS.#she betrayed her father for this. she became a new person for this. she's not here just for him but she wants him here with her.#he can share her throne but he better understand who's in charge here. she'll tadpole him too if she has to.#though she hopes he won't make her do that (not that she'll tell him she hopes that)#and he hates her for it but he also wouldn't respect her if she were any different#it's complicated#plus they have to deal with any interpersonal drama while also trying to take over the world 😂#because despite how the “control the netherbrain” ending makes it seem#the journals and plans in gortash's office make it clear that not everyone in baldur's gate is tadpoled. not even close.#(the brain doesn't produce nearly enough tadpoles for that)#so they have to deal with keeping the rest of the population in line & trying to militarize the city & get footholds in other cities#not to mention they have to counteract the fact that every god and other powerful being in the world is going to be working against them#tennetash
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Okay I know I'm the most biased person about dadmare, but you can't honestly tell me that if Cross started to mention the way xgaster treated him and his brother as children - the way an adult bullied and belittled and abused them - that it wouldn't make Nightmare see red
#UTDR#UTMV#Dadmare#Like the call is coming from inside the house again!!#Nightmare trying to be detached and collected to prove he doesn't have a familial attachment to his henchmen#And then he hears that Cross was treated badly by adults as a child and he's instantly like ''I'll kill him myself''#I just#Okay#Wick very nicely talked to me about Cross and dadmare yesterday and I'm still whipping it around like a dog with a new toy#LIKE I just think it could be a little healing for both of them#For Cross to get someone in an authoritative role who praises and appreciates him and refuses to treat him like that#And for Nightmare it must be at least a little rewarding to see someone who went through hell as a child and do everything you can to make#-them comfortable and tell them it wasn't their fault#Like I'm sure he still has stuff from his incident to process and maybe sharing it with Cross could do that#Obviously it's not 1 to 1 on what they went through but it might be similar enough to be cathartic#I don't know I just want to see them get along#I want Cross to have a father figure that would tear the multiverse in half to save him#I want Nightmare to learn to love and show it#I want 16 days off work in a row so I can lie in bed and go insane about this
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brush test slash rendering practice with ayem
#morrowind#almalexia#the elder scrolls#tes#tes fanart#art#id in alt#ok that's all the tags this needs ANYWAY#i started this 1. for experimenting with coloring from dark to light#2. because i wanted to draw someone kind of back turned to the camera#3. rendering practice for hair particularly#4. to go from sketch to rendering rather than doing lines to see if that doesn't smooth out my workflow a bit#5. because i've never actually used this brush past flat coloring#and out of those 1. i don't think i had enough of an idea of the palette or process to jump into dark to light painting so i did scrap that#and go with my usual “flat color with one of the mid shadow tones add shadows add light”#i do think that painting from shadows out is a thing people do digitally i just think this wasn't the drawing to test it on for me#i think i'd need to look at some other peoples processes and start with a more fleshed out idea of where to go#2 and 3 i think worked out. i'm gradually figuring hair out which i think is sick#4 i also think worked out for me which is also sick because i do get caught on lines a lot. they're fun sometimes but i think some drawings#benefit better from not having them and that it might be a bit faster#and of course everything i do is so that i can draw slightly faster and better for next artfight#as for 5. i have mixed feelings on this brush but that might be because i hate change. and also because i started this drawing on the 15th#of november and finished it yesterday. so im kind of just sick of working on and looking at it#it was a valuable learning experience and i think it came out well! i am also going to drop to my knees and rejoice when i can finally#close this file out and free medibang paint from under it so i can work on Literally Anything Else#thank you almalexia for being my test subject i should've used a reference for your armor when i did the sketch but i didn't#maybe the crown looks weird because of it maybe it doesn't. not my problem anymore i can draw other elves again#my art#iiii think i forgot a my art tag last time
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youtube
HAPPY BIRTHDAY FLOWER AHHGG I LOVE HER SM <333
#vflower#vocaloid flower#flower#vocaloid#go go ghost ship#english vocaloid cover#vocaloid cover#gaydexvocaloid#AGAIN NOT TOO PROUD OF THE MIXING BUT IG ITS A LEARNING PROCESS ABDHSJD#utatanep1ko did such a good job w the english ahhhggg#Youtube
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Tbh I feel like going to the US while the Nazis are in power is suicidal. So of course I don't understand your choice of going instead of your SO coming to Europe. But while I don't understand, I wish and pray for you to be safe. Whatever you choose, I hope you guys will be okay
You might be right. I have no idea what the future has in store or if I'll come to regret it. But I've already stated my reasons. As it stands, with the year-long process we've already started and that we can't just flip on a dime overnight, my partner can't come and stay in Europe legally just like that. Legal immigration is not that easy in one way or the other. Also... Yeah, I've stated that before, but one shouldn't underestimate how shitty things have been getting in Europe for the past few years as well, and how the influence of the US (which is huge) is likely to make things worse. So again I'm not 100% sure whether that'd have been better anyway.
Also also... Ima be real, I've shared that before, but the time where I was separated from my partner due to the travel ban was the only time in my life where I had actual suicidal ideation. I don't want this to happen again. That's why I'm making moves so it doesn't, first and foremost.
#tw sui ideation#tw sui talk#again i can't just pick and choose it's actually a really tough process and not just something i can go willy nilly about#it's a bit of a headache having people telling me otherwise#i'll do what i can and we'll keep doing our best to stay safe but it's not like i can just switch roads overnight#i wish i could but it's never as simple#or maybe it is for people who are already us citizens i have no idea#but i'm not quite sure#either way tbh i'm not sure moving to europe as so many people are throwing in online rn is that great a solution either#europe is the us's playground and geopolitically its bitch#some things definitely are better than in the us but in a world where money rules everything i don't feel it's quite as fool proof#as everyone makes it sound#as someone who was born and raised there respectfully#who's felt that influence for life#and btw as someone who also grew up not speaking english and who had to painstakingly learn#don't think you can just move to a random country you can't speak the language of and that everyone will be as nice about it#as if you were a tourist#language is important#my partner doesn't speak my country's language#so yep there's that#i've already said that several times anyway it's getting tiresome#we COULD have tried for the UK in a timeline where those dumbasses didn't choose to leave the EU#but that ship sailed almost 10 years ago#i wonder if anyone realizes that#sorry for saying that after such a wall of text but thank you for the concern though sincerely
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𝑪𝒍𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒐 ✧

✧ Regret
✧ Rememberance
✧ Reunion
✧
All men are equal in death. To Clotho, such is their reigning tenet.
And to Clotho, a man like them sheds no tear for the departed. A necromancer need not fear death, for it is a cycle devouring upon itself, and they are the ringmaster of this primal instinct. As in— need, should, must. One must not fear, one must not ache or pine or rage. A snake is still a snake. Death is still a wild animal. Show your soft palm within the ribcage of your fist, and it will not yield to you. Clotho, for all their cool expertise, knows this through trial and error.
All men are equal in death. So this mantra becomes their epitaph for every sentiment buried under the grave of their tongue.
It's a corpse beneath the floorboards; this memory. The tremble in their fingers - the shortness of breath. Their prized coherence pooling out their ears like brains on a sidewalk. Black is all they've known the world to be, but this time it is blue. Saliva spilling past the shore of her lips. Piercing red lightning streaking through the sky of her eyes. She does not respond when they shake her. By God— what have you done?
All men are equal. Their mother was no man, no monster. Mother, simple and sweet, was cruel enough to damn her. As they were.
Their tears come soft on the linen of her robes. She is softer still. The used crowd of spellbooks and artifacts and alchemical instruments behind them laugh hollow at the display. Wire is taut, so is cloth. Neither will hold them now, after destroying the muscle that stretched to cradle their wretched self. So they bind her in her day shroud. And they bury her in the belly of the primordial Mother.
On her grave, they plant a singular Asphodel. Their one specimen.
And when they shakily kneel back to look down at the mount of soil, for a moment - just a moment, their nails slip back beneath the dirt. Back to where home was.
A moment was all it took. Soon as it comes, they rip it out her shabby resting grounds and lay it on their crown. That brain-shaped gilded mausoleum of theirs. So it has remained all this while - so has she, with that memory just as equal as a dead man.
But you know they never stay where they're supposed to for long.
In the land of the dead, asphodels are for the gray in between. They are the sustenance of the dead. They are my regrets, following you to the grave. O, Mother. You raised a walking corpse. As long as I hold you in my heart, the grave goes where I go; and dead men tell no tales, so... I love you. Isn't that the worst thing you've ever heard?
#im literally fighting sleep deprivation as we speak WhILE i haggle for my documents so#if i make no sense. no the fuck i don't!!!!!!!#tldr clotho killed their mother (ex senobium mage) in a rage for ;) reasons i won't say just yet#and they could not resurrect her because their grief always impeded the process#one parallel with leander and clotho is their tight hold on their emotions#where leander runs his like a well oiled machine. clotho is - for the most part - entirely aloof and apathetic#still. when it counts. that wretched passion interferes when they need it absent the most#the asphodel they wear is the same one. they let it wilt and then they rejuvenate it over and over again#they've spent the next few years learning to resurrect beings of any and all make up. by trying to form bonds#only to break them. in every sense of the word. practice if you may; for when one day they try again to bring her back#clotho is the most mr nonchalant oc i have and yet they're motivated solely by love#maybe not a love that's soft. it's a damned and wretched it#but it's a love nonetheless#touchstarved game#touchstarved mc#touchstarved vn#touchstarved oc#clotho
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