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chososdiscordkitten · 9 months

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Obsessive!Choso♡pt 8

pt 7 here

content: STALKING.. (duhh), Choso feels immense guilt, TRACKING, lying, implied possible drugging, thoughts of violence, threats, drinking, Choso is a poor college student:( they/them pronouns used (a.n) I cry thinking about him. I really do, he's everything to me. He's like Dwayne the rock Johnson to me. Wrote this listening to 'For The First Time- Mac Demarco'

Taglist: @eristi @sunaumei @ex-ria @just-pure-trash @kha-0s @iluvreinah @iamboredowo @integers @waytootiredforthisss @1arminsimp @hannas16 @chosowhore @tojicvmslut @ofalcaodacolinablue @thesharkcollector @alexinity @mahgyu @mochipip @annhhaannn @ziklope @eterniatribe @everi-eve

Obsessive!Choso who somehow found himself lying on the floor, looking up to the ceiling with you next to him. Something about how when you're lower to the ground it's warmer- he didn't really remember the ‘why’ right now. Just knowing that anytime he'd say something, you'd laugh. No matter how dumb it was. The palms of his hands facing upwards. Being able to feel the warmth radiating from you, showing him just how close you really were, “I don't wanna go back to classes-” you exhaled, holding your hands atop your sternum. “Me neither-” he mumbled, closing his eyes and hearing you speak, “I hate this place- I hate the people.” you complained, hearing him hum a tired response. “Everyone here sucks and it's so frustrating.” your words made Choso turn his head to look at the side of yours. ‘Everyone except me, right?’ Admiring your profile, feeling his eyes scanning your features. You turned your head slightly, “Can I say something?” you tried to suppress a smile. Hearing him hum, looking at your avoidant pupils. “Say anything-” he smiled, making you turn your head back to face the ceiling with a scoff. “It's soo corny and cringey.” you laughed, feeling his gaze stuck to you. Mumbling a quiet “Don't care.” before you started speaking, “I think I met you for a reason-” you whispered, a smile creeping onto your face. Seeing him try to shake off the grin that was forming on his face at your words. “I've never felt more seen by someone before.” You smiled, cringing at the words falling from your lips without permission. ‘I will always see you. All of you.’ Shaking your head before speaking again, ”Do you like me?” You flinched realizing what you had just said. “As a- As a person?” You asked, turning your head and looking over at him, ‘Yes. As a person, as a friend, as everything.’

“What do you mean?” he hummed, looking into your eyes. “Am I shallow?” You asked, trying to make him forget of the past question that came out of you with no warning, seeing him furrow his eyebrows. Thinking of what to say, that's an appropriate answer, “From what I've seen- and what I've heard you talk about-” he mumbled, the saucers in your eyes making it very difficult to focus on what he was trying to say. Flipping to lay on his stomach, propping himself on his forearms as he looked down to your face. Smiling as he scanned your features, dim lighting making his cheeks tingle at how this was actually happening. Not a dream, or a scenario he pictured before bed. You were really here, not being able to process what he was doing. He lifted his hand, taking his pinkie and brushing a tuft of your hair from your forehead,“You are the last person I'd describe as shallow.” His contact with your skin made your cheeks tingle and your lips part. For the first time, he called you by your name out loud. You didn't notice that till he mumbled it, “-I think I met you for a reason too.” he murmured. Blinking your eyes as though you were expecting something from him, ruddy cheeks on his face making his thoughts leave him entirely. Mentally nodding his head no, looking away from you to the clock on the wall. 3:35 am. Backing away when he noticed he could count every eyelash on your face, “S’late.” he sighed, making you look up to the ceiling in disappointment with a sigh. Choso sat up, jaw clenched and eyebrows furrowed. Exhaling as though this was the most frustrating thing in the world. “You wanna leave?” You spat, tone stern as you remembered every opportunity you've given him to make a move. “I don't wanna leave you-” He started, looking down to see you still looking at the ceiling. “My roommates flight lands in a few hours-” You mumbled, knowing if you looked at him you'd say something that you'd regret. Choso didn't know why he felt the need to apologize to you in that moment, whether it be the look on your face or how your hands were now picking at the skin on your fingers. But he tried to find something to say. Something to make you feel better but all the smooth lines he'd think, all the compliments he'd give you mentally, all of that- was somehow gone from his mind.

Gathering his things and slipping his boots back onto his feet, seeing your arms crossed and a sour look on your face as you waited for him to leave. It wasn't because he didn't reciprocate- it was because you felt like you were just embarrassing yourself. Reading too closely between the lines at what he'd say or his actions. Grabbing his coat from the hook and looking to you with sad eyes. “I’m sor-” he started, not knowing why he was apologizing, but it felt like the right thing to do. Making you realize your face gave away what you were feeling. Playfully shoving his shoulder and smiling. “Don't.” you whispered, seeing him become less tense. “I'll text you.” he smiled, hand on the doorknob as he looked at you. Same look in your eyes you had when he pulled away earlier. Looking down to your socks, sniffling before looking back up to him with a forced smile. Mumbling a quiet “Okay.” before he opened the door. Taking the nob in your hand and seeing him stand on the rickety porch. “Bye-” he smiled, seeing a look on your face he had never seen before. Almost sorrowful. Small smile forced on your lips as you waved at him from the door frame, seeing him walk away. Closing the door and sighing against it as you pressed your back to it. Closing your eyes in exasperation. Wondering why he wouldn't make a move, all the signs were there. So why?

Obsessive!Choso walked home in the freezing weather as though it was his punishment. Even if he didn’t know what he did wrong, the fact that you made that face at something he did. It made him want to stand in the middle of the street. On that night he took a vow to never, ever make you feel that way again. In his mind, he was only being a gentleman, a well mannered friend. The last thing he wanted was to make you feel uncomfortable. If only you knew how badly he wanted to reciprocate what he thought you were throwing to him. Heavy in thought as he pulled out his phone, opening the app he had downloaded just last night. Seeing a small red dot on the map from where he left you. Smiling when he thought of how he'd know where you are as long as you wore his present. As long as you wore a piece of him with you, he would be able to know where you are. And make sure you weren't getting into any unnecessary problems.

Coming home, tossing his keys to the counter, opening the refrigerator and seeing nothing. Nothing to cook, not even frozen food or instant noodles. And certainly, no more money to eat for the next few days. Knowing that the firsts of the month were always the hardest, the subsidized apartment was still a heavy burden on his already thin wallet. Most nights not being able to sleep from how cold it was. But he found solace in picturing you, warm in your bed. Being able to sleep in a t-shirt and shorts from how high the heat was. If he closed his eyes and remembered, he could still feel the warmth tickle his nose from how warm your bedroom was. Creaky bed frame that threatened to break anytime he moved too swiftly on it, sleeping in at least two hoodies and two pairs of socks. Wrapped in as many blankets he could find so he could try to sleep. But his attempts were in vain, he couldn't stop remembering the look on your face. The look of disappointment and the patience you kept fading anytime he pulled away. Tossing the heavy bundle of blankets from him, sitting up slowly so the legs of his bed frame wouldn't give. Standing up and walking to the coat that hung behind the door. Pulling his wallet out, barely being able to see through squinty eyes, the moon casting a dim light through the broken blinds he can't afford to fix. Taking the stolen polaroids of you from the card sleeve. Smiling as he adored every single one, walking back to his cold bed and wrapping himself in the blankets. Placing 4 out of the 5 photos of you on his nightstand. Holding his favorite one in his hand scanning it the best he could in the dark. Thoughts of how he might just be delusional. Thinking you were just being nice to him, just being a good friend. ‘Maybe you are just naturally alluring. And maybe I am just a mad man in love with someone who only sees me as no more than a friend.’

Obsessive!Choso who woke up to the sun assaulting his sleeping eyelids, polaroid still in hand as he turned to lay on his back. Eying the small photo as he blinked his sleep away. Grazing his fingers across the glossy finish, furrowing his eyebrows as he recalled the look you gave him before he left. Placing the photo on the pillow next to him, checking his phone for the time. Always hoping to see a message from you, but knowing it was a little early in the morning for you. Especially since it was Saturday, knowing you liked to sleep in as long as you could. But he would wait around his cold apartment, waiting for you to call him or message him. Rereading the countless notes you had exchanged in class, feeling uneasy. Almost guilty for making you feel the way he did. Even if he didn’t know how you felt- he knew there was something wrong. Your aura, the coldness you showed him before he left. It was clear he did something to make you upset.

He felt as though he was going crazy in that little apartment, white walls making him feel like he was trapped in a seclusion room. Sitting at his desk and doodling in a notebook he kept on his bedside table. Trying his best to draw you from memory, smiling when he saw the page filled with small sketches of your features. Standing from his chair and falling to his knees at his closet, feeling like he had just lost the one good thing in his life. Sliding open the door and seeing the collection of you he had. Tears pricked his eyes in guilt when he thought of you. Seeing all the discarded things you had left for him, taking the small bottle of nail polish and grazing his fingers on the handle. The same handle your fingers were on when you were being nice to him. Feeling anger towards himself at the thought that he had hurt you in some way, he stood up. Stomping back to his desk and checking the time, seeing it was only 3pm. Frustrated fingers swiping across his screen and pressing the call button. Eyes closed as he heard the dreadful ringing, fiddling with his earrings with his other hand. Opening his eyes and beaming when he heard the loud sound of a washing machine moving. “Hello?” you asked, your tone still stern. What Choso didn't know is that you didn't know he was calling, you just heard the ringing and pressed the answer button quickly. “Hey-” he started, grimacing at how he didn’t know what to say, “I just-” he mumbled, hearing someone shouting in the distance through the phone. “I just wanted to talk to you.” He smiled, hearing you let out a small laugh when you realized who it was. Grin on your face as you walked away from the obnoxious machines. “Miss me already huh?” you teased, hearing him let out a stifled laugh. “I was worried.” he confessed, closing his eyes and imagining you sitting on the same couch he sat on last night. “Worried? Whatever for?” you asked, sighing as you took a seat on the arm of the couch. “I was worried I upset you- before I left.” he confessed, sitting on the edge of his bed. Hunched over as he heard you take a sharp inhale through the phone. “You worry a lot don't you?” you asked playfully, trying to remember why you were bothered so much by his actions. “I try not to-” he laughed, “But I-” he started, trying not to tell you the exact words that popped into his head that very moment. “I somehow always find a way to fuck it up.” he exhaled, squeezing his eyes shut in embarrassment. “I don't remember why I was upset.” You sighed, “I was probably just tired and dreading my roommate coming home.” you explained, trying your best to hide what you truly felt. “And? How has it been since?” he asked, being able to hear the loud sound of a vacuum. “She practically came home just to clean.” You laughed, looking to see your roommate violently cacumming. Gaining a laugh from him, “You have any plans for tonight?” he asked, the first time he ever asked you if you wanted to do something. The question made your heart swell, but remembering that you actually did have plans made it deflate equally as fast.

“I wish I didn't. But my roomie is big on socialization and wants to go to a bar tonight with some of her friends.” You exhaled, “And you're going?” he asked, his chest pounding at the thought that you'd be drinking around people who can take advantage of you. “Unfortunately I am- apparently one of her friends wants to meet me for some reason.” you frowned, Choso was able to hear the disappointment in your words. Praying to whatever god that was out there, that you weren't lying to him. The thoughts of how maybe you didn't like him at all were heavy at that moment. “But I don’t even know if I'm going- so I'll let you know, okay?” you asked, making sure to not discourage him from asking you that again. “Okay-” he was interrupted hearing your roommate shout your name, “I'll talk to you later?” you assured him before hanging up. Leaving him on his rickety bed waiting for you to call.

Time passed agonizingly slow, laying in his bed face up. Every now and then checking his phone for the time. Seeing only an hour had passed, he exhaled loudly, frustration eating away at him. Sitting up and picking up the small notebook and his pen. Writing a letter to you, detailing his feelings and how much he loved you. How he’d wait for you, no matter if the day comes where you move on. Married and a few kids with someone but him. ‘Even if i have not seen you in years, and I know you are with someone else. And I have been forced to move on from you. Even if I am 80 years old with grandchildren. I will only think of you. It will only ever be you. Please think of me too. Even if you are with someone else. Only think of me.’ he wrote, pushing his hair from his face as he felt the heartbreak only felt by abandoned spouses. The mere thought of you being happy with someone but him made him feel cheated. Tossing the notebook to the foot of the bed, laying on his pillows and sighing. Blinking his eyes closed as he felt the fatigue eat at him. Waking up four hours later to a missed call from you. Immediately pressing your contact and calling you, only you didn't answer. Checking the tracking app and seeing you weren't home anymore. His heart started beating faster at the thought you were probably in danger and called him, or you wanted to see him but like an idiot; he fell asleep. Getting dressed quickly and leaving his apartment almost too quickly, following the directions in his phone as he walked through the cold winds to find you. He wanted to run to you, wanted to drudge through the coldness to reach you. Almost blacking out from the cold against him. But he found himself standing outside the frosted windows as he watched you, cold weather made the tip of his nose pink. Smiling and drinking with your ‘friends’ in the corner of the room, warm lighting making you stand out even more than you usually did.

Everytime he sees you, it's like the first time. Feeling the same hint of warmth in his heart he felt the first day of class. But he knew the smile you gave them was a forced one, knowing you didn't belong with those kinds of people. How different you were from them. The app told him you were there for an hour or so, seeing the people around you talking and joking. But anytime they'd say something you looked away, not finding interest in their words. Watching you fiddle with the bracelet on your hand as a waitress brought a tray of shots for your group. Seeing you nod your head ‘no’ at your roommate, being able to know it was her cause the other 3 people were men. Waving your hands ‘no’ as your friend shoved the glass in your hands from across the small table. The man next you, leaning down to say something into your ear, feeling anger pool in his stomach at how close he was to you. Especially since whatever he told you, convinced you to take the shot with them. Nodding his head in disappointment at how easily you were convinced. But the sight of you smiling without a care in the world was nice to see, even if it was forced.

Obsessive!Choso who furrowed his eyebrows when he saw your shoulders jump, smile now gone as you looked over at the older man next to you. Almost shuffling away from him. Choso couldn't see clearly from all the people in the bar, but he was sure that he had touched you. You made the same face you did when he saved you from the classmate who was too insistent. ‘What is it with you and men who are way too old for you?’ he complained mentally. It took everything in him to not burst through the door of the place, but those thoughts were soon gone. Seeing you pull your phone out, slowly shifting away from the man's touch. Hearing his phone ring in his coat pocket, pulling it out and seeing you walk away from the table. Clicking the green button and saying a quiet hello. Not being able to see where you went from where he was standing outside, “Heyy-” already being able to hear the smile in your voice. “Are you- are you busy?” you asked, voice slightly slurred, showing him that they were funneling liquor down your throat long before he got there. “No. Not at all.” he smiled, knowing that even if you were a little tipsy, you still thought of him. “Thank god-” You giggled, making Choso close his eyes at the warmth your laugh gave him. “I’m at the bar right next to the chinese restaurant in town-” you smiled, cheeks already warm at how quickly he answered your call. “And I'm sooo bored.” you finished, hearing him let out a quiet laugh, “You wanna come join me?” you asked, leaning against the bathroom door, silence in the air as you waited for his response. “Are you sure that would be okay? I know you went with your friends.” He replied, knowing that if he had just said ‘yes’ he'd sound too eager. “These people aren't my friends-” you laugh, “Come on-” you smiled, Choso pressed the phone closer to his ear. “I miss you-” you tried to convince him. This made Choso’s heart swell, your words making his cheeks flush. “I'll be there soon.” he grinned, making you let out a lush laugh. “Okay- I'll be waiting.” You smiled, hanging up the phone and walking back to the table. Seeing your friend give you a questioning stare, only to shrug at her.

Choso waited all but five minutes before he walked in, taking his coat off at the door and stared at you. Looking down at your phone as he waited for you to look up. Almost as though you felt his gaze on you, you looked up. Ring of light around you as you saw him. Hair pulled back, eyebrows pinched together while he looked at you. Seeing you push through your roommates friends, gaining furrowed stares and questioning looks as you walked to him. “You got here so fast-” you smiled, standing in front of him. “You sounded very distressed.” he joked, noticing the flush on your cheeks from how much you had to drink. He looked behind you, seeing the table you were sitting at looking at you. You took the hint and looked back to them, “Come say hi-” you grinned, taking his hand into yours, feeling his cold rings against your warm hand. Sighing as you stood in front of the four people you had left, “Guys-” you started, seeing your roommate eye Choso with a confused look on her face, “This is my-” you started, looking over to him trying to find the words, “My uh-” seeing your roommates friends look at Choso like he did something wrong. This made Choso deeply uncomfortable, not knowing why they were looking at him the way they were. Hands still together as you felt your cheeks warm, “This is Choso-” you laughed, seeing them give a forced ‘hi’ to him. Sensing the tension, you let go of his hand. “We're gonna go get him a drink.” you grinned, your roommate murmuring a quiet ‘Wait’ as you left the table. Walking to the bar and leaning on the counter. Choso made note of how your roommate looked over at the man with a buzzcut that previously stood next to you. Seeing her mouth an ‘I’m sorry-’ before he looked back at you. Looking to him with a lush look on your cheeks, smiling as you scanned his face. “What's your drink?” You grinned, elbow on the wooden ledge, the sight of you reminded Choso why he does the things he does for you. Glowy cheeks, sweet smile on your lips. Effortless and yet so bewitching. Looking at him through your eyelashes making his blush spread from his cheeks to his ears. “Whatever you're drinking.” he hummed, thinking that your face is the face people would go to war for. Taking a seat on one of the stools, making Choso pull one out and join you. This made your roommate look at the guy she invited for the sole purpose of setting him up with you. Apologizing intensely, knowing he saw how much happier you looked speaking to Choso.

Obsessive!Choso who took a sip of his beer, snake bites clinking against the glass. Your eyes unapologetically staring at him, smiling and setting the glass down onto the bar. “What?” he asked with a smile on his face as you looked at him with half lidded eyes. “Mm, Nothin.” pupils so dilated that he could see them even in the dim lighting, smiling so hard your cheeks could start hurting at any minute. Taking a sip from your glass, feeling the group behind you stare holes into your skull. “In the three weeks of solitude- I forgot just how boring people really are.” you smiled, looking at Choso’s face and noticing how handsome he looked in this light. “I didn't realize it until I met her friends.” You finished, looking down to your hands. Your words made him lean his chin in his hand, looking to you with a confused look. “And?” he asked, hoping you could explain a little more. Letting out a small laugh and covering your face with your hands, pulling them away and looking into his eyes. Leaning in closer to him and whispering, “Out of all the people in here- you're the only one who I find interesting.” Seeing his eyes widen slightly at your words, “I think you're very interesting too.” he smiled, seeing you look away from him and fiddle with the sleeves of your shirt. “How did you get here so fast again?” You asked, changing the topic, recalling that it took very little time for him to walk through the door. His heart pounding at your question, scrambling through dozens of excuses. “I was- I was about to pick up dinner- from the restaurant next door.” Mentally grimacing when he noticed he stuttered. Hoping the state you were in dismissed it, seeing you nod your head and mumble a quiet ‘Oh’ as you looked away from him. “I know I just got here-” he started, eyes flickering back to the prying eyes, “But do you want to go for a walk?” he hummed. Seeing you look behind you to see that they were still staring. “Lemme go get my coat.” You smiled, leaving Choso on the barstool. Following the top of your head as you disappeared through the crowd, seeing you walk to the bathroom. Pulling out his phone as he waited for you.

Obsessive!Choso jumped when he heard someone call him ‘buddy’ looking up to see the tall man with a buzzcut who was standing next to you. Furrowing his eyebrows and looking at him, “I didn't know they were taken.” he smiled, tone full of passive aggressiveness. Choso only looked at him, not knowing what to say. “I don't-” he started, “I was working on takin em home.” the tall man hummed. “Alex all but promised them to me,” he continued. This made Choso want to bash his skull into the pavement. He was silent, hearing this man brag on and on about how close you were to falling. “And- if all else failed-” he whispered, leaning down and pulling a small baggie from his pocket. “I can count on you right? I'll share em with you if you help out.” He grinned, this made Choso’s vision blur. But the sight of you at the table talking to your roommate soothed the anger that flooded his mind. He laughed through his nose, standing from the barstool, coat in hand. “Go near them again- and I'll kill you.” sickeningly sweet smile on his lips, taking a step away from him. Choso felt the man's hand on his arm, “Hey man-” he smiled, thinking Choso was joking. He looked into his eyes, nothing but violence in his stare as he shook his hand off him. “Touch me again and I'll split you open to see what washed up jocks are made of.” He smiled, seeing the tall man's grin fall, “Excuse me.” he hissed, pushing past him and walking to you. Seeing your eyebrows furrowed as you spoke to your roommate. Standing next to you and hearing you sigh in relief, “Wanna get goin?” Choso asked, seeing you pick up your coat. “Mhm. There's nothing left here for me.” You seethed, stepping away from the table and hearing your roommate ask you to wait. “So where are we going?” you asked, putting your coat on and looking over to Choso as you made your way to the door. “To the moon.” he smiled, seeing you zip up the zipper from your coat. You laughed at his words, blissfully unaware of the fate that awaited you if Choso didn't come save you from that man's grubby hands. Standing in front of the exit before putting his coat on, opening the door for you to step through before taking one last look at the horrible people you surround yourself with. Walking on the sidewalk, side by side. Hands almost brushing against each other as he guided you.

“Have you ever walked across the campus lawn late at night?” he asked, looking over to your bundled up self. “I can't say that I have- no.” you smiled, seeing him step towards the cold blades of grass, campus lights off since it was still winter break. “Since we're so far away from any major cities-” he sighed, standing in the middle of the large lawn. “The stars shine even brighter here.” He smiled, looking over at you. Turning your head upwards with furrowed eyebrows before opening your mouth with a gasp. “I can see them so clearly-” you smiled, Choso looked over at you and felt like he saw the future. No matter how cold it was; the warmth of seeing you smile was more than enough to keep him standing. Looking back to him with disbelief in your eyes, “How did you find out-” you murmured, not being able to fathom how he could have ever noticed. “On nights where I can't sleep- I come out here and try to count as many stars as I can.” He hummed, seeing you grin. “Isn't it too cold?” you asked, seeing the tip of his nose slightly pink. “Can't be colder than my apartment.” he joked, making you laugh. One of his favorite things about you was how you'd laugh at his words. No matter if they were serious or not, it gave him hope that you wouldn't notice he didn't have much to give to you. Hoping you wouldn't look too closely and see the holes in his shirts, or how the bottom of his boots were slightly starting to tear apart. Knowing he didn't have much to impress you with, but held the thought that maybe- just maybe his words would be enough for you.

You looked into his eyes, “I wish I could spend 5 minutes in your mind.” you mumbled, the words coming from you were true. The moon lights up your face, making a certain sparkle in your eye shine. You wanted to take a peek and see if he felt even a hint of what you felt blossoming inside your heart. Hoping that he'd let you in through a cracked door just to know if your efforts were in vain. ‘If only you knew you've been in my mind since the day I first saw you.’

Pt 9 here

I hate slow burns but this is a slowly becoming one. I enjoy making myself mad whilst writing. only fuels my hate for slow burns. whole time im like 'dude?!! kiss them???' knowing damn well I can write it but I refuse. as always thank u sm for reading, its getting there!! bear with me and my delusions of writing abt Choso being a gentleman!!!

edit: Choso is oldest of 10 brothers, no dad, no mom, only in college to get a decent job in the future to support his brothers. do the math

#jjk #choso kamo #choso my beloved #jjk choso #jjk x reader #choso x reader #choso x you #jujutsu kaisen choso #jujutsu kaisen #college au #emo choso #jjk sfw #non curse au

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