#all i can do is shitpost until my will to draw returns | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yamagucji · 3 years

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some tips for writing blogs, especially those who are just starting out. these are some things that works for me and may or may not work for others.

how to add a read more link on mobile

type :readmore: on a free space, then hit the enter or return button

personally i think they’re very helpful because it lessens the space you take up in your dash, and might encourage more people to rb

+ you can also add this on a spot where it gives a sort of cliffhanger, essentially making people want to ‘read more’

headers, banners, and dividers

though not necessary, it’s good to have a title for your work. make sure it’s bold and doesn’t blend in with your notes (aka pairing, warnings, etc.). this also helps when someone wants to look up one of your works in your search bar

i don’t really make banners or covers for my works. but some good apps that i know of would be picsart and canva. if you’re looking for ideas, i definitely recommend going into canva

wondering how to make those really small, thin dividers? you can make them using picsart! to make a divider hit tools > free crop > brush > size (adjust it to your preference > then draw a line along the edge of your photo > save

using the divider you just saved, go back to picsart and edit it again > draw option > hit rainbow square at the bottom left corner > hit suction/droplet symbol right below the check mark > color in the white spots bc for some reason picsart glitches and makes dividers look white-ish

new blog? just opened an account?

this is gonna sound really frustrating. but... tumblr needs to check if you’re a bot or not. what does this mean? it’s likely that your first few posts won’t show up on the search bar. you may not even get to edit your header/pfp yet ://

this happened to me and there was no visibility on my account at ALL. what helped me get ‘verified’ is that i followed a LOT of accounts, liked a bunch of posts, made some posts here and there. now that lets tumblr know you’re not a bot

visibility

the tumblr tagging system usually only allows the first 5 tags in your post to show up. so, what can do you about this? only use FIVE or less tags in your post. wait about 15 minutes or more until you can add some more tags in your post, and they usually all show up like that

another important thing about using tags is not to generalize! especially if you’re using a popular tag. but also don’t specify it too much where barely anyone looks it up. for example, if you’re writing a gn piece about oikawa, i recommend you use the tags such as: oikawa x reader, haikyuu x reader, oikawa x gn!reader, haikyuu headcanons, etc

a good rule of thumb is to use character x reader tags first, then leave the full name or fandom tag last

FOR NSFW: tumblr doesn’t let any tags with nsfw show up. so, give your nsfw works another tag. maybe #namegetspicy idk, you figure it out

FOR WARNINGS: especially if you’re a dark content creator, i highly encourage you to add tw:xyz tags. if you already have a warning note at the top then that’s great. but even better for readers who prefer to actually block these tags that way they never get to see it

another important thing to note is that people have different timezones. it helps if you rb your work at a different time of the day, in case people missed it! (icymi) i’ve noticed that reblogging helps to make your post show up in the tags

interaction + feedback

first and foremost, you are not obligated to write for your followers, and neither are your followers obligated to interact with you. remember that everyone has their own individual lives, and they have their own things to do— so do you, too.

make friends! become mutuals with other writers, visit their ask box. i know it can be daunting having to initiate these things, but you might just turn out to have fun! you can’t expect people to interact with you if you’re not interacting (back). it’s... kind of a two way thing yk? no need to be afraid to interact with other writers. oh, and rb other writers works!

pspsps join tag games or do ask games. it’s fun and very interactive

it never hurts to ask for feedback. i usually do this in a more subtle way because i don’t really expect a full on analysis on my works. maybe a little, is this okay? or feedback appreciated. sometimes it takes a little bit of coaxing for the silent readers

formatting your posts and blog

i generally put in the title at the top in big, bold letters

then comes the header/divider. helps to make the post more... visually appealing ig?

it’s important to add warnings (if any) and the pairing. the audience is not all female, and it might be a little frustrating for male readers having to find out its an x fem reader piece like halfway through your fic

if you have multiple works posted, it’s really really helpful to have a navigation page!

you can organize the posts you make with tags! for example, if you’re shitposting, you can use a specific tag for that. if you have a nsfw related post (ESPECIALLY when your blog is open to the general audience) please make a tag for it

themes + colors

if you have a color in mind but don’t know which direction to go from there, i recommend looking up color + aesthetic

looking to use the same color? download a name color app that’ll give you a hex code for any color you want to use. then, you can type in that hex code for when you’re choosing a color for your tumblr bio

wondering how to make your header image small like mine? just choose a photo for your header and turn off the stretch image option

want to use a different text color that tumblr doesn’t offer? it’s not as complicated as you think. you’ll have to go on a desktop to do this and do some html (but trust me, it’s not very difficult). look up “HTML noob but trying my best - how to use colored text on desktop”

^^ i don’t have the link for the color text tutorial so you can try looking it up

how to make an aesthetic navi and masterlist

step 1: decide a theme! if you’re stuck, think about a character + color/season/mood or look up “[insert] aesthetic” to find some inspiration. or you can try looking at other blogs too

step 2: find a color scheme! it’s easier if you choose fewer colors. if you want to use the same color for both divider and text, download a color name app in order to get the hex code of that color.

step 3: add categories to your navi! most navigation pages include a link to masterlist, about/byi, and rules. your navi should have a title that indicates that it’s... a navigation page. you can add thin colored dividers with the same color to make it easier for followers to navigate

step 4: you can choose to create a ‘cover’ or a picture for your navigation and masterlist! again, i recommend you use the canva app as a starting point

extra: search up emoticon symbols to spice up your titles!

reminder for you as a writer

you’re not obligated to do any of these things. i’ve noticed that we tend to build pressure on ourselves when it comes to content and interaction. remember, this !! is !! for !! fun !! when you realize that it’s no longer fun, then know that it’s time to take a break. and there’s nothing wrong with a bit of self care.

^^ c/p from this post lol

at the end of the day, follower count and interaction doesn’t define you. again for the love of beings, you’re here on your own accord.

will be adding more if needed/asked.

#cupid; talks!#cueuepid

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20rubixcubes · 3 years

Photo

enhypen as baristas

maknae line x gn!reader (comedy, fluff, mild angst)

~1.2k words ea (headcanons)

warnings: cursing

a/n: i just wrote this for funsies, please be mindful that there is heavy swearing in these headcanons (particularly in ni-ki’s part), so if that isn’t your taste, perhaps skip this one! other than that, the rest of this is pretty chill, so i hope you enjoy my shitposting. oh, and lmk if you like this enough to want part two with the hyung line 👀 just maybe i’ll do it

sunoo

was only recently employed as an afternoon shift employee and was both shocked and distressed after discovering the cafe didnt have an instagram

“what do you MEAN you dont have instagram??? how do we post selfies???” “sunoo we sell coffee” “NO ONE WANTS COFFEE JUNGWON THEY WANT CUTE BARISTAS”

starts an instagram for the cafe and takes aesthetic pictures of his latte art

his selfies get way more likes though

speaking of his latte art, he masters the skill like a week in and everyone else is incredibly jealous

their jealousy wears off when jungwon tells him that he has to start training the new apprentices

pretends he forgot how to do it for like a week but it hurts his pride so he begrudgingly agrees to train the apprentices instead

in his free time he can be found snapping pictures around the shop, eventually expanding to taking pictures of the others too

“sunghoon stop moving you look cute and i need to take a photo” “sunoo im holding hot milk” “does it look like i care beauty is pain sweetie”

other than that, he sometimes sits in the booths to snack on muffins and do his homework since he only comes in to the shop for about an hour during his school lunch break and on the weekends

you meet sunoo after applying for an apprenticeship, wanting to get a job before you finish high school and start college

seen as though jungwon looks like the boss, you approach him, nervous for your first shift

“i’m here for the apprenticeship program?” “oh yeah! one second!”

he trots off to the back room, leaving you standing awkwardly in the middle of the cafe

“SUNOO GET OFF JAY YOU HAVE AN APPRENTICE TO TRAIN” “*gasp* YOU MADE ME SMUDGE HIS LIPSTICK I'M QUITTING” “NO YOURE NOT GET OUT THERE RIGHT NOW”

the yelling pauses before who you presume is sunoo stomps through the back room door, a scowl on his face

he spots you, groaning loudly “are you the apprentice?”

“yes” you say meekly, guilty for seeming to ruin his shift

he gestures you to follow him behind the counter, pulling an apron out from under the sink and shoving it to your chest

its clear that hes pissed, yanking his tools out from the cupboards as you tie your apron behind your back quietly

“have you made coffee before?” “only instant coffee” “oh fantastic”

he seems to be getting more irritated by the minute before he takes a deep breath and starts directing you around the machines

“to do the art, you angle the mug like this and draw with the milk, but it wont show until it reaches the top so dont go crazy”

as if its nothing, he demonstrates by drawing a perfect swan in the milk, setting the latte down and dusting his hands off

“wow… thats amazing” “i know right? no one here appreciates me enough” “they should! this is the best i’ve ever seen”

he grins at your compliment, nodding with satisfaction and sending a wave of relief over you as you notice he looks less angry with you now

“um… im sorry if i interrupted whatever you were doing before” “oh, that? i was just doing jay’s makeup” “you like makeup? me too! i’ve never seen a boy interested in it though, thats really cool” you smile genuinely at him as he blinks in surprise

“really? you think its cool?” “definitely!”

you watch the gears turn in his head before he smiles widely, seeming to have come to some kind of revelation as he nods

“i like you.”

your cheeks heat up immediately, but before you can say anything in return, he starts calling out for jungwon, leaning over the counter

“JUNGWOOON, CAN WE HAVE THIS ONE?”

“well thats up to them” he looks up from the table hes wiping down, adjusting his apron as he walks over to the counter

“so youre all finished with the course? i hope sunoo wasnt too much for you”

“i wasnt! anyways, youre employed, okay?” “sunoo stop theyre just an apprentice”

he groans loudly, irritated once more as he whips his head to you

“you have to work here, ok? i said so, so come back and apply or i’ll be mad!”

you laugh at his antics and smile “i’ll see what i can do”

after jungwon pries sunoo off of your arm, you return your apron and leave the shop with a wave

“YOU BETTER COME BACK!” is the last thing you hear as you step out onto the street, the bell ringing to signal your exit

a week later, you return to the shop, slightly anxious that your new friend(?) might have forgotten about you

but this is quickly washed away when you hear a high pitched squeal from the counter

“JUNGWON! HURRY THE FUCK UP AND GET THE FORMS THEYRE HERE”

you laugh as you approach the counter, a teasing tone on your voice

“are you supposed to be talking to your boss like that?” “whats he gonna do? fire me? im the only one who can make coffee in this place” “true”

soon enough, jungwon comes out of his hiding place, his hands clasped together

“im really sorry to ask this but please, you have to work here, sunoo hasnt shut up about you all week and i dont know if i can stand him anymore, i’ll even pay you extra please dear god”

you give sunoo a look, only receiving an innocent smile and puppy eyes back

“sure, i’ll take the job!”

jungwon sighs in relief as sunoo begins jumping up and down, yelling something about having his own little baby to take care around the shop as you groan, covering your blushing face

once you have your hours established (sunoo made you take the same as all of his, but you did the nights instead of the afternoons on the weekends, to his displeasure), you get straight to working

… well, sort of

it was hard to get work done with sunoo pestering you around the clock

“you think im cute right?” “yes sunoo” “even though i have bags under my eyes? “yes sunoo” “you promise?” “yes sunoo” “good”

admittedly he is slightly of help when it comes to the more fiddly parts of making coffee, but every other second of the day he seems to be flirting nonstop

“can i kiss you?” “no” “why not” “sunoo we’ve been over this” “BEING AT WORK ISNT A VALID EXCUSE”

worn down after his incessant yelling all day, you find yourself snapping faster than usual

“we’re not even dating, sunoo! why would i kiss you!? just stop playing with my feelings already!”

for the first time since you’ve known him, sunoo goes quiet

“why not?”

“what are you talking about now sunoo?” “why arent we dating”

now its your turn to go quiet

“do you not like me?” “what? no, sunoo-” before you can reason with him, you watch him quickly rush away from you around the counter, slamming the break room door behind him with tears in his eyes

cursing to yourself, you ensure there are no customers to serve before quickly darting after him

after looking around a bit, you hear sniffling from the supply closet and knock on the door quietly

“sunoo?” “leave me alone!”

you sigh, taking a step back and turning on your heel to face the opposite direction, running a hand through your hair as you think

you spot a dog bed at your feet, suddenly remembering that jake usually keeps his dog supplies covered in dog hair in the closet

“sunoo arent you allergic to dogs?”

“... *sniffle* y-yeah”

after you persuade him to come out by mentioning that his face is going to get all puffy, he steps out, eyes glued to the floor as he looks away from you in shame

placing a hand on his shoulder, you speak to him softly

“sunoo, look at me”

he does, hesitantly, his eyes red and watery and, as you said, puffy and inflamed

despite this, you smile

“i do like you back”

his eyes start watering again, your heart skipping a beat in fear that you had said something wrong

“e-even if my face is all puffy and gross?” his voice wobbles, the tears filling his eyes giving him a sense of vulnerability as you sigh

“yes, even if your face is all puffy and gross”

he smiles at that, shutting his eyes cutely as you press a kiss to his cheek

“and theres your kiss”

he whines “i was supposed to do that!”

“you can do it after we finish work, okay?” “WORK STILL ISNT A VALID EXCUSE…. but maybe today just because i need to ice my face” “yeah you really should, can you even see?” “no not at all” “great”

jungwon

the previous manager left suddenly and jungwon was given a semi-forced promotion as he was the only employee with at least half of a brain cell

poor boy is stressed 24/7

doesnt get paid enough for this

“hey jungwon we ran out out of coffee bea-” “I ORDERED NEW ONES FOUR HOURS AGO NOW SHUT UP IM TRYING TO MAKE SURE THE BOSS DOESNT FIND JAKE’S DOG SHELTER IN THE SUPPLY CLOSET”

goes through hell every day just to make sure the others dont burn the cafe down

is supposed to be on the morning shift but he stays until the afternoon

in his rare moments of downtime, he likes to go around and water the hanging plants around the shop

is that one vine where the mom listens to nicki minaj for the first time and screams “no” over and over whenever ni-ki gets control of the cafe music

“RIKI NISHIMURA WHAT IS THAT ON THE SPEAKERS” “ITS OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR ARIANA GRANDE” “TURN IT OFF THIS IS NOT PG13” “SHUT THE FUCK UP GRANDPA”

is only 16 but acts like a 32-year-old father going through a midlife crisis

lifts boxes of supplies all day yet his joints are famously brittle

“hey jungwon did you hear glass shattering too?” “sorry jay that was my back” “you need to invest in physical therapy” “maybe if i wasnt paying for property damage every other week 😊”

you meet jungwon when you drop into the cafe for a croissant and a coffee before your class starts

usually you come at night maybe an hour before closing so you had never seen him before, but here you were watching this cute but clearly stressed boy scramble around the shop carrying boxes of supplies to the back

trying not to be creepy, you sigh, turning back to your phone after watching him for a solid five minutes straight

as you do, you hear a crash coming from what you assume is the supply closet followed by a disgruntled groan

pausing, looking around at the other customers typing away at their laptops and waiting for another staff member to go check on the boy, you stand up as you discern that he must be the only one working and hesitantly go to see if he’s okay

“hello? are you okay?” you peer through the door, your eyes widening at the sight of him rubbing his head with a wince on his features, supplies strewn around him at his feet and a box knocked over beside him

“ah… um, yes, i’m okay, sorry if i disturbed you with that noise…” he smiles bashfully, pulling himself back onto his feet

“do you need help with all of that stuff?”

he opens his mouth to protest, not wanting to have to ask for help from a customer, but after seeing the amount of crap off of the shelves, he realises that there is no way in hell he’s going to be able to clean all of it up alone before his shift ends

“um… is that okay?” his cheeks flush with embarrassment as you smile

“sure!”

over the next couple of hours you two establish a little system of bagging the spilt supplies and passes them to eachother to put in boxes, chatting never ceasing as you discover that you actually have a lot of things in common

“since you work here, what’s your favourite kind of coffee?” “i like lattes… i cant stand bitter things” “me too! my friend drinks espressos though” “ditch them”

you also find out that he started being homeschooled after becoming the manager as he doesnt have time to attend normal school

the both of you find yourselves laughing nonstop, having fun in eachother’s company

so much so that you end up late for school

“oh shit! i completely missed my first class”

guilty for making you late, he offers to take you

“i can take you?” “you drive?” “well….. not exactly”

once sunoo and ni-ki arrive to care for the shop, he takes you out to the car park, pulling a spare helmet out of his backpack and securing it on your head before giving your head a pat as he gets onto his scooter

“you look cute” “i look like a bug” “a cute bug”

once you get to school, face red after having to hold onto him the entire time, you hop off and pass him the helmet with a shy smile

“thanks for driving me” you mutter, brushing off imaginary dirt from your shirt as you do your best to avoid eye contact, your face still flushed and heart racing

is it possible to develop a crush on someone this quickly???

jungwon is so cute that he makes it possible, you surmise

“of course” he mirrors your nervous smile, a blush finding its way to his own cheeks

as you bow and spin on your heel to start walking inside, he stops you

“wait!”

“what is it?” you turn to him, your heart still thundering against your ribcage at the fond expression he has plastered on his features

“actually… can i pick you up? after school?”

when you pause, your face growing hotter and hotter, he begins to sputter

“i-i’m really sorry, its fine if not! that was way too forward, i just really like you and- oh god that was even more forward- um-” “okay” “yeah i’m sorry that was a stupid questio- wait, what?”

before he can say anything else, your smile widens

“i’ll see you later, okay? don’t be late!” you wave, skipping into the building with a fluffy feeling in your chest

with an awkward wave, jungwon watches you leave, his mouth wide open in shock before a grin replaces his expression

getting back into his seat, the lovestruck smile never leaving his face as he drives off, he begins to count down the minutes until he gets to see you again

ni-ki

works the afternoon shift

technically an apprentice but he gets paid and has been there forever so basically an employee at this point

or he would be if he ever actually made coffee

he sits with the work phone all morning and chooses the music

perpetually dancing to 7 rings by ariana grande (look up his cover. youre welcome in advance)

jungwon and jay scream at him to at least do the mopping to which he complies, but not without performing a whole ass concert with it

once they saw him twirl and dip the mop

eventually they just told him to go back to curating the music because he was scaring customers away and they were losing business

he was horrible at cleaning anyway

“hey jungwon i think i got window cleaner in your plant” “im firing you” “i dont even go here” “STOP QUOTING MEAN GIRLS AND FIX THE DAMAGE YOUVE CAUSED”

you meet ni-ki while youre drinking your coffee at a booth and he plays your favourite obscure indie song so you have to compliment his taste and get to talking

he plays your favourite songs whenever youre in the shop and audibly hisses at anyone who tries to change it

makes choreography to said songs at home and tries to impress you by casually belting it out by your booth

when you compliment his dancing and ask how long hes been practicing that choreography hes all like “oh hahaha it was just casual freestyle super easy peasy”

(hes been practicing for two weeks)

thought he was being super obvious by doing these things but apparently nOT because you have not caught the hint at all and hes getting impatient

asks for advice from the others begrudgingly

“give them flowers” “jay thats so boring” “do you want to use one of my dogs? everyone loves dogs” “wtf jake since when have you had more than one dog” “make them latte art with a heart on it” “sunoo ive literally never made a coffee in my life” “why dont you just ask them out like a normal perso-” “shut the fuck up grandpa thats so weird no one does that”

eventually he settles on sunoo’s idea of making you latte art and he embarks on his journey to make his first coffee

rather than focusing on the actual taste, sunoo tells him to just do whatever so that he can show him how to do the art

“why is it green ni-ki” “you said to do whatever” “and your first idea was to make poison? idk if this is the best idea if youre trying to ask this person out” “shut up and pass me the milk”

burns his hands on the steaming milk jug at least fifteen times and ends up with so many bandaids on his fingers

despite how stiff the bandages are on his hands, he eventually manages to make a sort-of legible heart

“it looks like africa” “have you ever had steamed milk poured on your eyes sunoo?”

poor ni-ki waits for you all day, his heart leaping every time the bell on the door rings only to roll his eyes when it isnt you

he even stays past his shift so youd better let him take you on a date or hes quitting

when you finally arrive he trips over the bucket at his feet he was using to clean and spills dirty water all over his pants

“omg ni-ki are you okay what happened” *five octaves higher* “NOTHING I'M COMPLETELY FINE WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT”

by the time he’s finished cleaning himself up (and by that i mean fixing his hair in the mirror for twenty minutes) he takes a deep breath and walks over to you, somewhat cold latte in hand

“um,” he clears his throat, his face growing red as he slides the mug towards you “i made this for you”

“aw thanks ni-ki! why is it green” “........its matcha?”

youre slightly suspicious but you look back to the mug and slowly realise that the “drawing” slightly resembles a heart, smiling a little bit to yourself

when you look back to him, youre a little confused as to why hes just standing there

“is something wrong?” you press the mug to your lips, taking a sip

“o-uh uh actually, i wanted to ask if… if you would uh maybe sort of go on a date with me”

you can only smile

“yes, but…”

his heart starts beating faster, watching you anxiously

you stand up, taking the notepad and pen from his apron pocket and scribbling your phone number

“only if you promise to learn how to make actual coffee” you wink, handing him the notepad and sauntering out of the shop

hes stood there dumbstruck, stars in his eyes at the slip of paper in his hand

but then he realises: he has a new mission

rushing to the back room, he slams the door open

“grandpa, i need you to teach me how to make coffee right now” “literally why do i pay you”

with your promise in mind, the others see him work more diligently at the counter than they ever have before

“wow youre actually working today?” “shut up i need to figure out how to do this butterfly before i pry my eyes out with a fork” “haha funny joke ni-” “did i stutter”

at the end of the week, he forces heeseung (the cafe’s best coffee maker) and sunoo (the cafe’s best latte artist) to judge his latte

“this is… surprisingly good” heeseung peers into the mug, smiling at the swan ni-ki created with the latte foam as sunoo grumbles “dont tell me im gonna have to start competing with this kid, it probably tastes gross” “it tastes amazing too” “im quitting”

with his coworkers’ notes in mind, he finally works up the nerve to send you a quick message telling you to come into the shop

when you arrive the next day, ni-ki greets you and immediately gets to work, making sure to stand as close as humanly possible to your booth so he can show off his newly acquired coffee making skills

with you only inches away, he does make a mistake and spill milk on his shirt after looking at you and not his hands for a second too long, but you decide to give him the benefit of the doubt when he sets the mug in front of you

“wow! this heart is perfect!”

you smile, looking up to him “did you seriously learn how to do latte art just so you could take me on a date?” “… y-yeah, and?”

you can only chuckle as you press the mug to your lips, readying yourself to drink liquid dirt…

“this is… really good!” you grin, taking another sip and putting the mug down on its saucer

“i think you’ve definitely earned yourself a date… or two”

at this news, ni-ki’s face lights up, shoving the urge to scream down his throat before nodding stiffly to try and contain his excitement with a strained “cool” escaping his lips

“are you okay ni-ki?” “yes just give me one second”

he quickly scrambles to the break room, a moment of silence wafting through the store before a shrill scream fills the air

eyes wide, you turn to jay, who had been manning the till, after hearing him burst into laughter

“what is he doing?”

“we told him the freezer was sound proof”

#grumbles i guess i will tag #enhypen #enhypen x reader #enhypen headcanons #kim sunoo #yang jungwon #nishimura riki #kim sunoo x reader #yang jungwon x reader #nishimura riki x reader

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phoenixyfriend · 3 years

Text

Madara and Obito... In SPACE

So the preface to this mess: I don’t know jackshit about Star Wars, so a lot of this went through friends who do know Star Wars (the primary of which does not have a tumblr).

(I have watched Episodes 7&8, and Rogue One. Of the first six movies, I remember watching maybe an hour total. I have not seen more than snatches of Clone Wars. Beyond that, nothing but fic.)

Anyway! Let’s go:

As y’all probably know by now, my favorite form of crossover is what I call “intrusive,” so... I'm enjoying the mental concept of "dump Madara on Coruscant and watch him go." (Prequels, probably.)

Does Madara know what's going on? No. Can he understand a word that's being said? No! Is he going to fight the first person to aim a weapon at him, and every person after that? Yes.

Is Madara fighting fit?

Nnnnnnnnnnnnnno, not really, he’s old as balls. This is "I was on cave life support but I'm getting back up to kick ass out of pure spite" Madara.

[Image description: A screenshot of a panel of the Naruto Manga. Uchiha Madara is old and visibly ‘decrepit,’ with spiky white hair and an amorphous black robe. He is sitting on a pale throne, and there is a scythe visible to the side. He has a speech bubble saying “I am... a ghost of the Uchiha.” End Description]

Two wrinkly old guys, staring each other down: There ain't enough room in this universe for the two of us. [Palpatine and Madara start fighting to the death]

Congrats, Palpatine! Your ass is getting kicked by a geriatric malcontent who doesn't speak any language you've ever heard or feel like literally anything in the Force. You may have Sith lightning, but do you have decades of frontline experiences and over half a century of cave-dwelling bitterness?

Both of them, simultaneously, in completely different languages: Get off my lawn, whipper-snapper.

Palpatine: Behold my mastery of the Dark Side, Foolish old man! Palpatine: [shoots lightning] Madara: Oh hey, you're like the seventeenth most dangerous person who can shoot lightning I've fought. Telekinesis? Fought that. Combat precognition? Fought that, have that, and let me tell you hwat, it doesn't help if you're opponent is just that much faster than you.

Now, I’ll take a step back and acknowledge that several people advised me that Palpatine would stand a chance against Madara, likely even win, if Madara just got hacked off of his life support and is down to one eye.

But. I want a shitpost, and also to clown on Palpatine, so Madara wins easily.

Madara also deserves to be clowned on, but the entire situation is clowning on him because he’s not in his cave anymore, and he really wants to go back to his Gedou Mazou statue.

Maybe Madara and Palpatine go Old Man Fight and then Obito just pulls a Ninja Move and kills Palpatine that way. Madara was ranting and Obito just. Ninjas behind Palpatine and slits his throat like “okay, you’re obviously evil so like... bye.”

(I just love causing "Wait what" reactions in characters that are used to having total control. Like. Have you read "Unexpected Guests"? The Bleach fic? Everything that happens in Hueco Mundo and after. That energy. I want that energy.)

Madara waves his scythe around like a cane. Obito just trails after like “Gramps, no” because it’s still pre-Sanbi, so he’s Mostly Innocent (you know, on the scale of how fucked up Obito is as a person), and just wants Madara to like. Stop.

Palpatine dies but nobody's sure what to charge Madara with since he did kind of expose a Sith? And Palpatine attacked first for [handwave] reasons?

Jedi: Well sir, in lieu of charging you with assassination of the emperor, we have decided to ask you politely to return to the elderly person's retirement home from whence you came. Please leave immediately. You are frightening the senate. Madara: [incomprehensible raving] Jedi: Yes yes, very interesting. Jedi, whispering: Does anyone know his caretaker???

Obito looks increasingly put-upon as events progress. You need Obito there to... well, not translate. Nobody can translate. But to at least poke Madara into being Slightly Less Homicidal.

Anakin seems sad about his friend dying and being evil so Obito challenges him to a spar. Madara and Obito get pulled into the Jedi Temple to help train Padawans? My first thought was "they wouldn't trust someone so obviously Weird, Crazy, and Incomprehensible around the younglings" and my second thought was "well they let Yoda do it and he's all those things so I mean? YEAH."

What if they put Madara in the bacta tank and he just freshened up like a daisy because of hand-wave Hashirama cell reasons (Blame Sir Tiddyface).

From “Decrepit and Reliant on Cave Tube Life Support” to “Will Call Down Meteors With Ease”

How many eyes does he have? Whatever’s funniest. Let’s say one Eternal Mangekyo Sharingan and one Rinnegan, for maximum chaos.

Would "half my body is missing" Obito freak out if Bacta regrew his eye? Can bacta regrow something like that? When characters lose limbs they usually just get cybernetic replacements, but the person I spoke with said that apparently they saw somewhere that that kind of thing can grow back it just takes a really long time.

I want to imagine bacta would help Obito with the Zetsu integration.

Anyway! Yes. Have Madara help train people despite being... Madara about it. You know... kind of a dick.

(I’d put example gifs but I don’t feel up to it. Y’all know what Madara’s “weakness disgusts me” ass is like.)

Obito had to get his "these fools could never make me sweat" sass from somewhere, after all.

Do you think Obito could fight the baby Jedi that are around his age while recovering? I have no idea what their skill level is at fourteen, but I want to imagine Obito sparring the Padawans.

Obito + Zetsu + Bacta = he still needs physical therapy but he can spar again!

Madara is delighted to have a baby ninja to bully. He's too old to not bully baby ninjas, and Obito is the only baby ninja. TBH Madara just makes Obito his assistant teacher.

Obito: What are we even doing here and how do we get home? Madara: I'm still working on that. Obito: But I want to go home and see Rin and Kakashi! Madara, who was like two days away from triggering the Sanbi plan: I'm working on it.

Something sticking in my mind rn is Ahsoka&Obito, since Obito is still Baby.

I think Obito would be excited to have someone his age that thought he was Cool and Talented for being able to do Chakra Things instead of writing him off as "the dead-last." Like, Rin is friends with him, but she doesn't look up to him as someone more/differently talented. He'd be excited to get to be "The Mysterious Cool Big Bro" for once.

I feel I also just like the idea of Anakin not knowing what to do with someone Several Years Younger that is also. Ninja Skill.

Miscellaneous thoughts:

Madara is a grouchy old man even AFTER he gets effectively de-aged via bacta dunk, for the record. He's back in his prime and the Jedi have no idea how. They're all concerned about tiddyface*. (When are people not concerned about Sir Tiddyface, really.) The mokuton is a problem.

*Sir Tiddyface is that random Hashirama face that Madara had growing out of his pecs for like... convoluted bullshit reasons.

(Madara doesn't have mokuton, but he has enough Hashirama cells that it interacted very, VERY weirdly with the bacta.)

Obito spends the intervening weeks trying to learn the local language. He's very eager. Not particularly fast. Still doing it though!

I want Obito juggling kunai as physical therapy while he's waiting for Mads to get out of the bacta tank and just gains himself the adoration of a gaggle of small baby Jedi children.

Madara comes out of the bacta tank looking like he did in his prime (which I mentioned earlier but whatever), and it absolutely incites a yelling match of an argument that draws way too much attention.

Someone tries to teach Obito how to access the Force, just to see what happens. He almost turns into a statue because the philosophy behind Force meditation is only a few steps away from Sage Mode Meditation.

Anyway, Madara smacks him with a stick like Fukasaku to make sure Obito doesn't turn into stone.

Madara grumps about the lack of paper and brushes and ink. Bitches about it until someone hits up an antique store or something to get them for him. The day before he and Obito are dispatched on a mission with someone, probably Anakin for plot reasons, Madara very publicly seals things into a scroll and then tells them that no, they can't learn it, because the Force isn't chakra so fuuinjutsu won't work for them, so There.

Obito practices some Teen Rebellion (tm) and like, tries to teach the Padawan friends he's made how to do Chakra Things... but he's so bad at explaining things that nobody can get it to work even if it were possible.

In Obito's defense, language barriers. Not in Obito's defense, he's just really bad at words sometimes.

#Star Wars #Star Wars Prequels #Naruto #Uchiha Madara #Uchiha Obito #crossovers #Phoenix Posts #body horror mention

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randomized-ice · 3 years

Text

ROOT Reformed

Okay so you know how Yamato, Sai, and Shin were in ROOT? Well, what if Yamato had seen the two children, one so sick he was throwing up blood and the other so antisocial he kept getting bullied because of how he talked, and adopted them? The Dad!Yamato, and Child!Shin and Sai headcanons that nobody asked for coming right up :)

When Yamato first met Shin and Sai, Sai was hiding behind Shin because he accidentally insulted someone and got punched. Shin was trying to comfort the small boy and protect him.

Yamato then decided to adopt them both, he scared away the bullies and helped Sai cover his black eye, which looked worse than it was since Sai’s skin is so pale and markable.

When Yamato learned that Danzo was sending the two small children on B-Rank missions as PAWNS and they just barely survive all their missions, he personally whooped Danzo’s ass

Yamato was put in charge of Shin and Sai and the two children warmed up to him quickly

Yamato chasing Shin around the room trying to get him to eat vegetables

Yamato having to force veggies down two screeching kids throats

Shin and Sai doing target practice and Yamato tallying up the scores

Yamato training Sai and Shin on their jutsu

Yamato helping Shin reach his full potential with his ice powers

Yamato finding out how to make pieces of paper so Sai could draw all he wants

They have a huge garden in their backyard that they take care of.

Yamato growing different types of plants with his wood style jutsu and Shin and Sai reading books on how to take care of them

On Christmas, Yamato sneaked Shin and Sai out of Root so they could go to an actual party

Yamato introducing Shin and Sai to Kakashi

When Shin and Naruto first met, it was chaos at first sight

Sai following Yamato like a lost puppy and holding on to his pant leg until Yamato picks him up and put him on his shoulders

Yamato, Sai, and Shin cuddling by the fire like the smol beans they are

When Shin got really sick from his unnamed diease, they immediately went to see Tsunade, even though it took a week to track down the gambling lady

Tsunade getting full access to Root’s medical supplies so she can make sure Shin is okay

Shin surviving and being cured of his illness, NOT DYING BECAUSE HELL NO YAMATO WASN’T ABOUT TO HAVE HIS CHILD DIE, NOT TODAY SATAN

Sai and Shin keeping their memories and growing up with an actual parental influence

Yamato chasing a cackling child with a huge butchers knife around the house, both of them are yelling

Sai being the sassiest little shit in the world and everybody thinks he doesn’t know what he’s doing but Yamato’s just like “You sneaky lil’ shit-”

When Sai got to join Team Seven with Yamato, they brought Shin along as an ANBU “for the mission” when really, they didn’t want to leave him behind and come back to find the house destroyed

Yamato trying desperately to find where the hell Shin is getting all this cup ramen from and Sai is just not telling Yamato because he’s a lil’ shit

Shin third-wheeling with Kiba on all of Ino and Sai’s dates (Kiba third-wheels on everbody’s dates, its a fact)

KIBA x SHIN, KIBA x SHIN, KIBA x SHIN (I’m sorry I just need my dog boy-o to love somebody okay??)

Shin just randomly came home one day holding Kiba’s hand and Yamato immediately adopted him

IRUKA AND KAKASHI SHOW UP AND BAM (Yes, this is KakaYamaIru. Shhh-)

Naruto and Kiba calling each other “Brother” bc their father-figures are dating

Sai and Ino being quieter about their relationship than Shin and Kiba but they’re literally so damn cute oh my lord

Shin and Kiba going on dates that are mostly composed of running around the woods and chasing rabbits but they love it anyway

Yamato being a Proud Dad™

When Danzo died and the family got their curse marks removed and became real Leaf Village citizens they were overjoyed

Suddenly, the Leaf Village had about 100 more extremely talented teenage shinobi at their service

Yamato re-opening Root but this time, making it into a friendly place where everybody is supportive of one another

Sai and Shin helping people understand that they’re not alone anymore and it’s okay to have friends and be original because you’re one purpose in life is not to be a pawn for the Leaf Village anymore

Sai getting to decorate the ceilings of the Hatake Mansion with whatever designs he likes, making it not only beautiful but deadly

The Hatake Mansion having designs of tigers, birds, flowers, and symbols all over the roof

Murals of the person in their rooms (Naruto has a silly fox one, Kiba has a dog one, Kakashi has a lightning one, Yamato has a garden one, and so on.)

Yamato adopting Shino bc we need our bug boy to be noticed (COUGH COUGH NARUTO)

Shin running around the house, chasing a bee that stole his homework

Shin becoming a super energetic gym teacher at the Academy

Sai becoming an elite jounin and having a custom, crop-top uniform

Yamato becoming the nicest leader of an ANBU division there’s ever been

Shino and Sai being weird shitposting edgelords together

Sai and Ino baking cookies together only to find that Shin, Kiba, and Naruto ate them all

Iruka managing the chaotic household while being constantly cuddled by Kakashi and Yamato

Iruka teaching Sai about friendship and smiling

They have a huge ass garden

Yamato helping Ino and Sai at the Yamaka flower shop

When Sasuke returned, he was immediately adopted

The Hatake Household of Chaos

Sasuke, Shino, and Sai being weird shitposting edgelords

Anko as the weird aunt who came around only to fuck shit up and leave

Gai as a weird uncle and Lee as their favorite (and only) cousin

Kakashi making breakfast and dinner for about nine hungry people

Yamato making all the kids little lunches

When Orochimaru came back to the village, Shin and Sai both made sure that he was five feet away from Yamato at all times

They only began to trust Orochimaru when Sasuke told them that Orochimaru was his sensei/father-figure and the supporting father figure he never had

Orochimaru apologizing to Yamato for testing on him

Orochimaru becoming a father figure to Yamato and Sasuke

GRANDPA OROCHIMARU

Orochimaru and Shino talking about bugs and snakes

Shin, Naruto, and Kiba chasing a yelling Orochimaru around the house with a bunch of marigolds and ammonia (snakes hate those)

Iruka trying to make peace with the marigold and ammonia welding children and a terrified Orochimaru

Tsunade coming over to see her favorite little brat (Kakashi)

GRANDMA TSUNADE

Tsunade secretly supplying the children with marigolds and ammonia to get back at her old friend (Petty revenge is a bitch)

Orochimaru tricking Sai into calling Tsunade old

Tsunade never sending Jiraiya on that mission alone, she sent Kakashi with him and they managed to win the fight. Barely, they were in a coma for a few weeks, but they sure as hell won.

TSUNADE AND SAKURA BEING ABLE TO HEAL ITACHI AND THEN ITACHI WAS ADOPTED

HATAKE HOUSEHOLD OF PURE AND UNRESTRAINED CHAOS

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theliterarywolf · 4 years

Note

How was the sequel to Tales from The Hood, a shitshow?

The original Tales from the Hood, while having some campy horror elements, still managed to present its stories and tone competently while still incorporating themes of struggles of black Americans in urban areas.

Examples:

A black politician who’s been trying to fight against police corruption gets beaten to death and injected with drugs post-mortem by said corrupt cops to slander his name. The politician returns from the dead to exact vengeance. Obviously this short tackles police brutality and corruption.

A little boy and his mother who are constantly beaten and abused by what he draws and identifies as a ‘monster’ who, it turns out, is the mother’s new boyfriend. The theme here is Domestic Violence and how often people try to brush it under the rug as just a way of life in the community.

A former klansman-turned senator buys a building called ‘The Dollhouse’ that is of high historical significance to the local black community, despite their wishes and complaints, to serve as the headquarters for his racist campaign to become governor. The house in of itself was where a confederate-supporter, after the loss of the Civil War, decided to murder all of his slaves rather than see them freed. Their restless souls haunted the place until a ‘voodoo woman’ managed to calm their souls and place them into dolls. You can pretty much guess where this is going and the themes.

The final entry centers around a gang-member who, after getting hunted and shot down by rival gang-members, is taken into police custody and is given one last chance for freedom by a doctor’s new, radical behavioral therapy program. Said therapy takes a note right out of A Clockwork Orange and bombards our main character with alternating images of brutal gang-violence and KKK lynchings. After which, he is berated with apparitions of all the people he’s shot and killed; including a little girl who was a victim during one of his drive-by shootings. Of course, this kind of therapy will only be successful if the subject shows some remorse...

And all of this is wrapped in a framing device of three gang-members trying to find some drugs at a funeral-home, even harassing the funeral-director, which turns out to be a portal into hell.

... *deep breath*

I have to do a ‘Read More’ because this post got long. But I implore you guys to read on to see the abyss of insanity and bad directions that were taken in regards to the sequel of this movie. Please.

The sequel decided to throw ALL NUANCE AND TACT out of the window and give us such wonderful stories as:

A white girl and a black girl are on a road-trip and decide to go to the... ugh... Museum of Negrosity where the owner chastises them on thinking that the uncomfortable racist memorabilia he owns (collections of minstrel show cartoons, golliwog and pickaninny dolls) are things of the past instead of acknowledging them as parts of America’s racist past. And, for some reason, the white girl is obsessed with buying one of the golliwog dolls because she had one when she was little. Anyway, they sneak back in later with the white girl’s brother who happens to be the black girl’s boyfriend, so they can steal one of the dolls. Through hijinks, the doll comes to life and grows to the size of a human being. The brother/boyfriend gets whipped to death, the black girl gets cut in half by a minstrel-colored guillotine, and the white girl... Fucks the giant golliwog doll, gets pregnant, and a few days later, has her stomach torn open as a bunch of baby versions of the doll go flying out everywhere.

Some gang-members track down a former pimp who’s changed his ways to try and shake him down for some owed money. He doesn’t comply, so they kill him but, golly-gee! How are they going to get the money now~? Oh, I know! Hold a scam medium hostage so he can perform a seance to talk to the pimp to find out about the money. But, oh no~ It looks like the medium’s powers decide to actually work this time~ Ooh~

Two douchebags hookup with two hot chicks and, after the world’s worst game of Cards Against Humanity, they decide to roofie the girls so they can record themselves raping them so they can post it to ‘le dark web’. ... Lo’ and behold, the girls turn out to be vampires who were playing 4D chess to rope the two douchebags in so they can use them for their own recording-something-brutal-to-post-online scheme.

And... The LAST one. Oh my God, the LAST ONE. *deep breath* Okay.

So we follow a black republican councilman who is married to a white woman and they’re expecting a baby after a long line of miscarriages. But the wife is having weird bouts of bad dreams and insomnia. What are the bad dreams about?

... I need you guys to understand. That I am not shitposting when I type the following words. *deep breath* Okay.

The wife is being haunted by the ghost of Emmett Till telling her that she doesn’t deserve to have her baby. You know? Emmett Till? The victim of one of the most brutal, horrific murders in America due to one of the most disgusting, vile acts of racism? THAT EMMETT TILL?!

So..! The black councilman is working for a white politician who... I’m just going to put a direct quote from the movie so you can get where they were coming from.

“That man wants to close down ten more voting locations, all of them in black districts!”

Anyway, after a house-call from a doctor who brushes off the dreams as hormones, the councilman hosts a party for the politician who’s running slogan is ‘Let’s take Mississippi back!’ Gee-golly-willickers! Can’t imagine where they were coming from with that one!!

So the party goes on, the politician even congratulating our councilman on his ‘white wife’, but said wife rushes downstairs after having another dream; ranting about ‘that boy from the field has decided to LIVE! And if he lives, our baby’s going to die!’ And she runs outside with a machete to try and kill the ghost of Emmett Till (who, again, very real person and victim of racist brutality).

So the councilman’s mother and the local voodoo expert drive up and the voodoo expert tells the councilman that Emmett Till is trying to talk to him about the nature of sacrifice. The next day, the wife is talking about how her stomach is getting smaller, but the councilman doesn’t want to hear any of it and calls the doctor again. And, guys..?! If shit hadn’t jumped the rails before?! The train just starts doing cartwheels from here.

The doctor is suspiciously short-tempered with the politician this time around and he does examine the wife to confirm that her stomach is indeed shrinking. However, when he’s told that the councilman is the father, he storms out and snaps “I don’t work for coloreds!”

Then the wife runs out of bed and tells the doctor that the councilman isn’t her husband and that he kidnapped and raped her. So both the wife and the doctor drive off and the councilman realizes that the world has somehow gone back to the era of Jim Crow.

... Oooh my gosh, typing this is making me want to commit toaster-bath but it gets so much worse..!

So, after the voodoo expert comes to chastise the councilman about not ‘respecting the sacrifices that have been gifted to you’, he is able to see the ghost of Emmett Till (who was a real person, why is this happening..?!) who is there to tell him that he’s decided that he wants to live. Which means that the world will never see the brutal images of his body at his funeral and that will cause a Butterfly Effect in history that will make it so that the Civil Rights Movement never happened.

You may be questioning the logistics of this, but don’t worry! The ghosts of the girls killed in the 1963 16th Street Baptist Church Bombing in Birmingham come to explain and further berate the councilman about ‘respecting the sacrifices that have been gifted to him’ and working for a racist politician.

But wait! There’s more! *whines* I keep crying out to God but he won’t answer...

They’re soon joined by the ghosts of the three Freedom Riders who were killed during the Mississippi Burning Murders, the ghost of Civil Rights Activist Medgar Evers, and DR. MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.

Not to mention several other unnamed figures who walk up while everyone else starts chanting about ‘respecting the sacrifices that have been gifted to you’, who look like Rosa Parks and Frederick Douglass, just to name a few.

... I need a drink. I need a cold, stiff drink. ... Almost done.

So, in comes the Klan. You know, the white-robed bastards; I hear they have an outreach center a few cities away from me. Sure, fine, whatever. The wife is leading them along with the white politician who hits the councilman’s mother in the face with a baton and Emmett Till stops time just as reinforcements show up to tell the councilman that, in order for everything to go back to normal, he has to join the ranks of those who sacrificed.

“If what you want is worth us dying for, how come its not worth you dying for?!”

And, at first, the councilman disagrees; even being dragged away by Klansmen. However! It’s his wife angrily spitting in his face that makes him realize that this world isn’t the world he wants to live in. So he runs over to Emmett Till to tell him that he will join him... And then he’s beaten to death, becoming a sacrifice to get the world back to normal. And, once it is, his spirit joins Emmett Till’s and walks off into the great beyond.

So! Not only did this schlocky, B-movie horror movie sequel decide to use a REAL LIFE VICTIM of racism-driven brutality as a story-device, but it also wants to put forth the message that the people who lost their lives during the Civil Rights Movement? Yeah, they HAD to die! Otherwise the Civil Rights Movement would never have happened~!

You see why I hate the sequel to Tales from the Hood so much? Not even mentioning the terrible framing segments of a racial-profiling robot being told these stories so it knows what ‘criminals’ to go after, but this movie is just a temple of ‘WHY?! WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS?!?!?!’

#Anonymous #replies

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mutedsilence · 3 years

Text

I decided to create a post with links to all my work. They include summaries and the tag list. It’s under the split. I’ll update as I write more.

Or, here’s a link to my dashboard MutedSilence

The Towel Johnlock Domestic Fluff Domestic Pride Gay Sherlock Holmes Bisexual John Watson Towels Flags Words: 2,002 Chapters: 1/1

Summary: John and Sherlock have been living together for just about a year in this. Sherlock is given a towel from Mycroft for his birthday.

Ianto Sings Janto Dancing and Singing Singing Fluff Domestic Fluff Tooth-Rotting Fluff Words: 844 Chapters: 1/1

Summary: Ianto is alone in the hub. He decides to start singing, he doesn't know he's not alone.

Soldier and his Detective Series Johnlock Mystrade New Meeting Fluff AU Kissing papa lestrade Worry Sherlock is a Brat Established Mystrade Protectiveness Protective Sibling Rivalry Texting Mycroft is really protective but a bit of a dick too Feelings almost break up First Dates John Watson in Afghanistan Homophobic Language Phone Calls email BAMF John Background Case Mycroft Being a Good Brother Sherlock Holmes Has Feelings Jealousy Words:45,738 Works:3 Complete:Yes

Summary: Sherlock is on a case. Just as he's about to be taken down by the suspect, a stranger takes down the suspect and Sherlock begins to fall for the blond stranger. (This is a story set in with a different meeting, John is on leave from the army and Sherlock has started his career with the met.)

Trying to Forget Ianto Janto The 456 Aftermath Grief/Mourning Drinking Jack Needs a Hug Hurt Jack Words: 438 Chapters: 1/1

Summary: So, in the doctor who episode - End of Time part 2 - the Doctor tips off Jack to Alonso. It takes place in a bar and I decided to carry it on.

Mission to Flirt Johnlock Pining John Fluff Angst with a Happy Ending Slow Burn Flirting Jealous Sherlock Oblivious John Mutual Pining First Kiss Hospitals Background Case Greg Lestrade & John Watson Friendship Sherlock Holmes Loves John Watson John Watson Loves Sherlock Holmes Bisexual John Watson Gay Sherlock Holmes Proud Greg Lestrade Words: 9,064 Chapters: 1/1

Summary: Turns out John has been staring at Sherlock like a love sick teen. Greg decides that John just needs to flirt. So, he does. Sort of. He certainly tried to at least.

Fine. I admit, I love him. Johnlock Pining Texting Mycroft's Meddling Pining Sherlock Holmes AU Fluff References to Oscar Wilde Language of Flowers Background Case Distracted Sherlock Holmes Mycroft Being a Good Brother No Reichenbach Secret Admirer Sherlock Holmes Loves John Watson Oblivious John Words: 9,237 Chapters: 14/14

Summary: Mycroft has had enough of Sherlock's pining and decides to make him do something about it. Starting with Sherlock figuring out his feelings for John. ((Set before the Reichenbach fall))

Christmas at Holmes Manor Johnlock Mystrade Christmas Party Developing Johnlock AU Different First Meeting Mentions of drugs Depressed John Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism John has been discharged Developing Relationship First Kiss Developing Mystrade Mycroft is good with Children Words: 4,838 Chapters: 6/6 Collections: 1

Summary: Mummy is known for her Christmas parties at Holmes Manor. Sherlock hates the parties and tries to avoid them. This year he can't get out of it. He hates every second. But will he hate it after meeting an army captain?

Hannibal Montannibal Alternate Universe - Hannah Montana Fusion Pure and utter crack beggar's clay chicken inspired by a shitpost Will is a fanboy Hannibal in a dress and wig?? just go with it Ambiguous/Open Ending Words: 613 Chapters: 1/1

Summary: Hannah Montana/Hannibal fusion. No one knows that Hannibal is Montannibal, that is until he invites Will Graham for dinner.

The Soul Patch IronStrange Soulmate AU Tumblr Prompt Heart Attacks First Kiss CPR Post-Doctor Strange (2016) Stephen saves Tony it's a little cheesy Words: 1,411 Chapters: 1/1

Summary: Soulmate AU: Everyone is born with a black section of skin where their soulmate touches them skin-on-skin for the first time. When this happens, the mark changes to said soulmate’s eye color. Tony Stark and Stephen Strange both hate it because they’ve had to live with the stigma of having black lips all their lives. Tony goes into cardiac arrest at a gala, and Stephen ends up giving him CPR.The prompt I based this off. Set after the events of Doctor Strange (2016)

Who is Victor Trevor? Johnlock Teenlock Unilock Jealous John POV Sherlock Holmes victor is made up practice date First Dates Sherlock Holmes and John Watson Being Idiots Words: 3,256 Chapters: 1/1

Sherlock is in love with his best friend, John Watson. When confronted, Sherlock makes up Victor Trevor - a person that Sherlock wants to ask on a date. John offers to help by taking Sherlock on a practice date. The one thing Sherlock wants more than anything.

I Feel Like I Don’t Even Know Him! Johnlock Fake/Pretend Relationship Developing Relationship and Friendships Implied/Referenced Suicide AU Different First Meeting couples counselling It's For a Case Parental Greg Lestrade Protective Mycroft Holmes Slow Burn idiots to lovers Implied/Referenced Drug Use Miscommunication Eventual Happy Ending Did I Mention They Were Idiots? It's Sad Seriously It's Sad You Have Been Warned Words: 26,108 Chapters: 25/25

Summary: John is leaving therapy. Sherlock needs to get into the office of a couples counselor. A frantic Sherlock bumps into John as he's making his way out. John - with nothing better to do - agrees to pretend to be a stranger's boyfriend for the afternoon. Beats going home.

Let Me Share Your Pain IronStrange Hurt Stephen Strange Hurt Tony Stark Protective Stephen Strange Friends to Lovers Arguing First Kiss Hurt/Comfort Words: 3957 Chapter 1/1

Tony begins to feel stronger and better than ever. He doesn’t question it, not when his movements are quicker and his mind is sharper. His anxieties and pain appear to have diminished altogether. And the next time he’s facing a villain he finds there’s barely a scratch on him. Funnily enough Doctor Strange looks ten times worse himself after battles lately, even in ones he hardly has a hand in. Tony slowly discovers that Stephen cast a spell to absorb all of Tony’s injuries as his own.

I'll Tell You Until You Believe Me IronStrange Jealous Tony Stark Pining Pining Tony Stark Oblivious Stephen Strange First Kiss Love Confessions Insecurity Insecure Stephen Strange author projecting their insecurities onto the character check Words: 2231 Chapter 1/1

Stephen is quite popular, what with his status as sorcerer supreme, good looks and compassion. Stephen is oblivious to it all, chalking it up as just weird alien customs. One day, an interdimensional being aids Stephen and Tony in battle, flirting with Stephen the whole time. Tony feels protective of Stephen but lets it go for now (pre-relationship, Tony’s kinda jealous yes). Only this keeps happening and it builds up, Tony can’t take anymore and confronts Stephen about why he never shoots down nor reciprocates the advances of the inter-dimensional beings. Light angst where Stephen accidentally reveals that his obliviousness stems from his insecurities. He thinks Tony is pulling his leg.

Eastern Seaboard Ironstrange Established Relationship Bottom Tony Stark Established Tony/Stephen Is this crack?? Humour Tony's nicknames for the team Words: 717 Chapter 1/1

The only time Tony sees a hint of Stephen’s full power, without his moral limitations, is when they make love and Stephen’s magic accidentally causes an earthquake that knocks out the power of the whole eastern seaboard. Tony decides it's an achievement worthy of a nickname.

Super Fucking Long Sherlock Fic, Stop Being a Bitch and Finish It. Johnlock Slow Burn really really slow Angst Smut Fluff Eventual Sherlock Holmes/John Watson Unrequited Love mutual unrequited love Mutual Pining Violence Murder Case Fic Homophobia Homophobic Language POV Sherlock Holmes Idiots in Love they're really stupid and can't see past their noses but we love them Masturbation Oblivious Hate Crimes Hate Speech Hurt/Comfort Copping Off Coming Out Greg Lestrade & John Watson Friendship Sherlock Whump Words: 31,275 Chapter 48/?

Sherlock is bored out of his mind - luckily Lestrade has a string of murders. Even luckier - Sherlock and John have to go undercover in a gay bar, and John's in tight clothes. But what if going back into that scene reminds Sherlock of his uni days? And what if he reverts back to shameless pleasure behind clubs? What if John never returns his affections? A series of life-threatening problems could both bring them together, and drive them apart.

Our Journal Mystrade Developing Mycroft Holmes/Greg Lestrade Lestrade Can Draw switching POV Slow Burn Fluff mystrade Mystrade is art Mycroft is a Softie Even if just in his head Words: 3,798 Chapter 6/?

When the sketch artist is off, Greg is asked to step in. Like any artist - he thinks he's no good and hates his work. Mycroft just so happens to be around to lend some paper. After becoming enraptured in Greg's drawing, Mycroft's once-dormant feelings begin to fester again.

#fanfic #bbc sherlock #mcu #torchwood #hannibal #SahD #FiAiLH #c@hm #IFLIDEKH!#LMSYP #ITYUYBM #SFLSFSBABAFI #OJ

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alwaysalreadyangry · 3 years

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Collab poetry anon here: I'm actually also usually not into theories about other folks writing Shakespeare's stuff, because who cares and also I don't think any of them are persuasive. There is unlikely to be any smoking gun historical evidence that proves any theory right or wrong so it's mostly just academic vanity and a penchant for conspiracy theory. The plays are good, I'd rather focus on the work. But I set my eye-rolling aside for theories that are obvs false (aliens made him do it!!!) and are more about poking fun at the tendency to theorize about the authorship of his work than believing he didn't write the work. My hottest take was the one that was actually the most tongue in cheek. (The middle one you will pry from my cold dead hands: they write poetry together, that is immutable TRUTH.) That said, there is actualfax reason to believe that Shakespeare collaborated on many of his plays, so it would also be funny if in TOG world the three of them were writing the sonnets trying to out do each other. That retains Shakespeare's authorship, just with some added Joe/Nicky collaboration. Just three dudes trying to annoy one another by one upping each other. The dark lady is Andy and Joe and Nicky are like S T O P.

I'm also obsessed with the idea that Joe & Nicky cowrite a bunch of stuff together, not just poetry: Plays!!!!!!! Novels! Comic books! Music! Even if something starts as Joe's project (which I suspect is how many usually start), I can't imagine him NOT talking about it with Nicky and Nicky not becoming involved.

YES to all of this. And I LOVE the idea of them collaborating together with Shakespeare... are Joe and Nicky Beaumont and Fletcher...

In my head I’m also fitting this in with the incredible shitpost from a while ago about Nicky as the fair youth, so like. Shakespeare writing love poems to BOTH Nicky and Joe and their response being like, oh sweetheart no, and then writing sonnets in return which are ever-so-slightly mocking him. Yes yes an excellent love triangle that isn’t really that at all.

Also I completely agree about them collaborating on everything. Part of my issue with thinking “Joe does this thing and Nicky does this thing and they’re different things that never meet” is that like. They’re almost 1,000 years old, they have surely tried pretty much everything. Including writing and drawing and painting and music. In that time you KNOW they regularly got bored and collaborated on epistolary 18th century romance novels they published anonymously and scandalous plays and operettas and everything. Everything! They have had this gorgeous shared long life and they want to share all of it.

Especially given that like, ideas of a single genius author being behind a work of art was not really a thing until recently. When i was writing about early lyrics and having Joe singing poetry for Nicky in the 12th century... that’s a period of intense poetic development but also oral transmission, and people using kharjas written by other people in their work. Because it was better to have something good than something you write yourself, if you can’t manage it. And we have these different “corrupted” versions of some kharjas, because they change with transmission. That’s my shit! I like to think of Joe and Nicky mock-competing to see who can come up with the best closing line to a couplet, composing whole poems this way. And then years later they remember the poems but not who wrote what. Except for when there’s a flourish that they know must be Joe, or an image that has to be Nicky. But even then: where does one end and the other begin? What if they were mocking or imitating each other’s style?

Galaxy brain: Joe and Nicky wrote the Isle of Dogs and got chased out of London for it

#answers #old guard #tog #anon once again: your mind. I love everything about this

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thechekhov · 6 years

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how would you recommend an artist make themselves better known on tumblr and in general? ive been drawing and painting almost my whole life but its hard to get people to notice me, any advice? thank you, you're my fave artist

Thank you so much! That makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside…

As for your questions… hmm… it’s for sure a good one.

I’m going to get a bit… strategical on that one. Hope you don’t mind this approach.

Tumblr and real life are definitely alike in a lot of aspects, while in others they’re polar opposites. For the sake of keeping things neatly shelved, I’m going to focus on tumblr in this post.

＊*☆HOW TO GET ART NOTICED ON TUMBLR☆*＊

by chekhov

1. We have to understand how the tumblr sharing system works.

I know this sounds a bit too obvious. I mean, we all know HOW. It’s by reblogging!

I know that there’s a BIG opinion on tumblr that we should share and reblog art as much as possible to help artists get noticed. And that’s TRUE. It’s absolutely correct.

One thing I don’t agree with on that front is the guilt-tripping factor of it all. Like somehow people are responsible for the downfall of less popular artists because they didn’t reblog stuff enough. People are really quick to point at their followers and say “I GOT 100 OF Y’ALL HERE AND ONLY 3 ARE REBLOGGING ANYTHING”.

I get it. It’s frustrating!

But the fact of the matter is, you can’t force people to reblog stuff.

Instead, I recommend we harvest the power of the sharing we already have. We have to be smart about this. What I’m going to go into is a bit less concrete. We have to think about the PEOPLE who are doing the reblogging.

Artists aren’t the ONLY ones with motivations for getting their stuff seen. And because they create media they are, for lack of a better word… a vendor! The buck STARTS with them, but it doesn’t stop with them.

They have to also think about what the people are going to do with their product once it’s reblogged. Once someone buys from the vendor, they don’t just keep it forever. They distribute it to the others. And sometimes, those others distribute it again. We have to think about the bigger picture, and think about how FAR your art has the potential to go!

So, to get started we need to know… WHO are the ones buying from the vendor… and why?

What kind of rebloggers ARE there?

I’m going to give my own opinion here, and feel free to disagree. But the 3 biggest rebloggers most important to the artist are these:

1. The Pleaser

Sounds sexy, right? In fact, the pleaser comes in many different forms. But essentially their goal is the same - they reblog stuff like aesthetic posts, and other pleasing things. They themselves tend to like a lot of stuff and reblog mostly beautiful photos, nice designs, and lots of fanart of whatever they’re into at the time. Comics and story-like posts are good here (although if they’re too long, people tend to lose interest.)

How to get reblogged by a Pleaser?

Appeal to their fandom, their interest, and make something that moves them. Pleasers are most active around the time when the new episode of their favorite show comes out, or when their favorite holiday comes around. Drawing fanart during its peak popularity will usually catch a Pleasers’ attention, as will drawing aesthetic Halloween posts around, well, Halloween.

2. The Teaser

The Teaser is the class clown and the shitposter, and they reblog memes and jokes voraciously. In the Teaser’s audience are other teasers - and they also tend to be very generous rebloggers. The fact of the matter is - memes sell reblogs faster than any aesthetic art will. We’re social creatures and getting a laugh out of our followers is worth a LOT of fake internet points.

How do I get reblogged by the Teaser?

Memes. I mean, you knew this was coming, right? During the height of some new tumblr joke, people usually welcome any unusual spin, or any funny variation of an old joke.

My meme redraws have consistently been popular and have ‘boomed’ very quickly. For example, this redraw of sapphire from Steven Universe doing ‘the scroll of truth’ jumped to 5k almost within a day.

Many people peek at my page ‘for the lols’ but end up staying for the art, or because there’s another thing I post they’re interested in. Either way, memes are a gateway drug… to your blog.

3. The Librarian

The Librarian is a bit more rare, but they’re still important, because they tend to reblog a lot. They’re a bit unusual in the sense that they do this for themselves, instead of for an audience. The blog of the librarian is mostly just a replacement for bookmarking interesting stuff. These people tend to reblog tutorials, reference posts, and things they want to read later on.

How to get reblogged by a Librarian?

Make things that people want to keep around. Charts, references, tutorials. Chances are, the librarian will snag it up eventually.

Of course, these 3 aren’t the ONLY type of tumblr blogger. In fact, many of them are a mix of these 3. But the main point is…

2. What do most of these (and other) people on tumblr have in common?

Just like you, many people (although not all) want to get their stuff SEEN. You might be creating the original product, but they choose whether or not to distribute it to their audience.

Everyone is playing the same game, no matter which part of the chain they’re on.

You, as an artist, have the biggest responsibility to think about this long-term. Not only 1 reblog down the line.

For example, let’s return to one of my meme-posts that I did about wrist pain (carpal tunnel). When I made this, I had a vague idea of who would consume it. Obviously… other artists. But the reason that this got so popular? Is not only because fellow artists follow me. It’s because the artists that follow me also have followers who are also, conveniently, artists. That’s why despite the fact that many people reblogged the post directly from me - even MORE of them reblogged it from @sergle (shoutout to sergle! u rock) who is also a popular artist and also has an audience who were prone to want to reblog the post.

See that orange dot? That’s me. See that bigger blue dot? That’s sergle.

In a way, this is a game of chance. Will something you reblog be seen by someone with a large enough audience to keep it going? The thing is, we don’t know until it happens. And oftentime, the only way to achieve this is to keep trying. Stubbornly.

But you can’t just headbutt the wall in the same place and hope it eventually crumbles. You have to look for a door.

3. So what’s the door?

Take a look at your art. Is it consumable BEYOND the surface level of your followers?

Sometimes people get discouraged because their fanart is way more popular than their original art. Although I share their frustration, there’s a good reason for this, and your followers aren’t to blame.

The thing is, fanart is consumable at deep reblog levels. If you post fanart, there’s a good chance that even 3-4 reblogs down the line, there’s going to be a person who sees it and thinks ‘hey, I know Steven Universe. My followers know Steven Universe. I’ll reblog this!’ Fandoms are efficient because they already have a lot of context for the consumption of the art. They have a story (humans love stories), they’re invested in it, they’re interested in it, and there’s a good chance that sharing more stuff about it will get them more interaction with their mutuals, even if they’re not consciously thinking about all this as they reblog.

Unfortunately, that’s just not true for your original art. Many of us have beautiful, wonderful stories - but they’re not available to a wide audience. They’re not easily consumed, they’re not easily accessed (in comparison to being on netflix, for example). If you post a picture of your OC - maybe your immediate pool of followers who know that OC will reblog it. But their own followers who aren’t directly following you will not have any connection, emotional or otherwise, to that character. They simply don’t have a reason to care, and they don’t have any means to. Even if they visit your blog - will it be easy to find similar content? Have you got your links available on desktop AND mobile? Is it easy to find the beginning of your story? Is it free of mistakes and easy to read?

Large companies that make shows or comics funnel tons of money into making their media consumable. There’s a LOT of effort that goes into advertising, too. You, as an independent artist, simply don’t have that kind of manpower. That’s not your fault - but it’s also not your followers’ fault. Why are they supposed to reblog things that their own followers will never understand and connect with?

4. Back to square one: how do I get noticed?

I’m gonna keep this short and sweet because I feel like I already took up a lot of your time. After everything I’ve said, hopefully this will make sense:

Make content that has a connection to your audience somehow. Make it relatable to their life. Make it relatable to what’s currently going on. Make it worth their while to look at it.

Make content that’s easy to understand. Super detailed drawings, with nothing to focus on are difficult to digest. Simpler, sharper drawings that someone can understand within 3 seconds of looking at it are the most digestible of all. This isn’t a museum.

If you’re creating content that goes with a story, MAKE THE STORY. I know it’s tempting to create just a whole bunch of character sketch sheets and leave it at that, but you can’t complain about not getting an audience when your audience doesn’t have anything to consume in the first place.

Make the story AVAILABLE. Organize your tags. Make sure those tags are easily accessible. People will never like 100% of your art, so many it easy for them to find what they WILL like.

Don’t be afraid of fanart. Fanart gets you connected with people who like stories and content similar to yours.

Don’t be afraid to follow and reblog people that you want to connect with. Don’t be afraid to make them stuff and @ them.

Post your stuff to a LOT of places! Your audience is somewhere out there - probably not only on tumblr. You have to spread yourself thin sometimes, but make sure the account can all lead back to your main hub.

And last but not least…

Critically re-evaluate your art at least once a year. (I’m personally working on this.) Just because you’ve been drawing for years, and just because your art might be incredible doesn’t mean it’s appealing to people. Sounds weird, right? But think about it - there’s TONS of people who are not that amazing at anatomy, or coloring… but they still have a huge audience, and people connect with their art. A lot of times, it’s because their art is straightforward and easy to read/understand.

Ask a friend to critique your art. Ask them if they understand your work, or if it’s difficult to make out. Ask them what your work inspires in them. Ask them what they DO like about your work - and exaggerate that!

There’s a LOT that goes into art… no matter it’s a whole industry! Doing it all on your own is HARD and it’s a bit unthinkable how much artists have to do to compete with industries. But it’s not impossible, and it’s definitely worth it. :)

Hope I didn’t bore any of y’all who made it down this far.

Thanks!

#reblogging #art #artists on tumblr #arting #Anonymous #long post

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veryimportantsparkles · 5 years

Photo

Alright I’ve kept meaning to do sort of an infodump on my projects because I’ve been really slipping lately. I dunno how obvious it is? Probably kind of obvious. I’ve also been really bad about checking messages and responding to people. So I figure I can write up a status report and then point to it when I’ve been inadequate about communication.

My IRL job has been wiping me out. I’ve been getting short, labor-intensive shifts in the evenings, and then random surprise morning shifts shortly after, which has been really hard to manage my time around. My sleep schedule has been extremely broken and it’s affected my productivity a LOT. Leadership in my department is about to shuffle around and I’ve been interviewed for the manager position. If I get it I’ll be working an entirely different schedule, which could potentially be good for my sleepy brain but will definitely leave me with less art time overall. I’ve also been enduring some back/shoulder issues over the past few months. Nothing urgent, but it’s limiting how much I can draw each day. I think replacing my desk chair is going to be a big factor but it’s not the only factor. I just need to be a smart human and take care of my joints and not hunch over so much. Working on it.

Here’s the current status of my various art projects:

Laserwing

I ended chapter 5 in June and said I would finish up some other side projects before I start concept work for chapter 6. One of the projects I needed to finish was the Popkas Yugioh season 4 special, which I finished. The other big one was my Neonmob card set, which is most of what I’ve been posting lately. Once that’s out of the way (see below) I need to do concept art. Chapter 6 will put all the Laserwing characters in new outfits which will need reference sheets. I’ll need background sketches and layout diagrams so I don’t have furniture shuffle randomly around between scenes. I also need to sketch out the chapter 6 draft page by page. I’ve made Laserwing in GIMP up until this point and am going to try switching to Krita for chapter 6. I might need to do a test page to make sure my process transfers over well into a slightly different system. Once I’m ready to make real pages, those take a while. Chapter 5 pages were going up maybe every 2-3 weeks. I don’t know how many pages are going to be in chapter 6, nor can I say for sure how many chapters are in Laserwing. An old outline had maybe 40 chapters. It’s a story with a defined end point, I can say that for certain, but it’s intended to be long.

Popkas

I’ve had issues with Popkas for a while. I keep picking new themes for dailies, thinking they’re going to be quick and easy, but then end up making them hard for myself. It’s been to my benefit, I’ve forced myself into learning new art programs and techniques through Popkas. But it’s hard to keep up the daily schedule. Currently I’m doing the Paper Mario: TTYD bestiary, which has 124 enemies. At a rate of one per day, by the time I’ve finished them, Pokemon Sword and Shield should be released and we’ll have all the info about the new Pokemon. Those will be drawn in ‘Popka classic’ style (scribbly shitposts). After those are finished, unless my IRL work situation dramatically changes, I’m considering putting Popkas on pause. In order to do any other monster dexes I’d have to do a lot more research (for example, people have suggested Yokai Watch but I’ve never played one) in order to have anything meaningful to post. Same deal with Popka Specials (the anime writeup things), those take prep time and anime-watching time that I might not have. I don’t ever want to end Popkas, but a hiatus might be necessary.

Angelfire Hime

Did anyone even know about Angelfire Hime? Well I want to post more but that involves finding, scanning, retouching, and transcribing my old high school scribble comics. It takes as long as any other project but is also low priority because it’s all old content. Nobody is waiting for the latest update because nobody but me actually knows what that content is, and possibly nobody but me can even read it. It’s more a personal journey of self-reflection than anything. I want to return to it but not at the expense of better work.

MeganFantastic dot com

I had a domain name linked to a tumblr that was supposed to be my news blog/front page and I barely use it. Also, I let the domain registration drop. Also, I had let a typo in my banner graphic go unnoticed for YEARS and still haven’t fixed it. Even now, I’m writing this big post to my personal blog instead of the one for news. The idea was to eventually buy some real hosting and make MeganFantastic a whole site of its own, but that’s a lot of work. I’ve got a generally good idea of HOW I’d do it (probably wordpress) but I’m not a coder, it would take a lot of trial and error. This would be a huge undertaking and eventually Laserwing, Popkas, and all my other junk would be contained on one big non-tumblr website. But it’s uhhhhh not happening yet.

Hundera Youtube

My contribution to our LP channel is to show up, talk about video games, and then draw title cards. All recording, editing, and channel management is maintained by Josh, and I can’t speak on his behalf about our update schedule. I will say there are a lot of half-finished games we want to return to. I will also say that when the new Pokemon comes out Josh is dead set on recording it. I don’t know if he intends that to be a stream or a regular LP. In the meantime he streams Minecraft with his friends every Sunday and we fit in our own streams and recordings when we can.

Commissions/Patron Art/etc

I’ve not been very good about this lately and I’m truly sorry! I have a few things I’m working on, a few things I’ve promised to start working on, and a few things I’ve told people I can do once my workload lightens up, which hasn’t been happening yet. I really don’t have an answer. I almost never delete anything so if I’ve been sent a message in any form I should still have it, and I’ll be sure not to forget anyone. And if I do forget someone feel free to throw rocks at me!

Rane Story 2

What the heck is Rane Story 2? Well I guess I have to explain Neonmob. Imagine if ChickenSmoothie and DeviantART had a baby. It’s a virtual trading card site, which is fun and cute, and I’m drawing out a card series to release on there. I’ve been using it as practice for painting backgrounds and to fill out some backstory for some 4th-string Laserwing support characters. Before Mistaire came to Earth, she went to space high school, and that’s where Rane Story takes place. You can preview the series, and when it’s finished I’ll post about it. I’ll also repost all the art to DA. If you scroll through the last several pages of this blog you’ll see some of the art. I’ve put a lot of my brain energy into getting this done in spite of my work/sleep issues because I don’t want to resume Laserwing until I’ve finished it. This is what’s stolen my life, guys. Right now I have 6 more cards to make, and then I have to write and finalize all the text. I should be done SOON.

Pokemon Nonsense

When my back and shoulder get too hurty and I have to take a break from drawing, one of the easy things to do is whip out a DS and play Pokemon. I’ve done a lot of twitter shitposting about it lately. I’ve also drawn up a bunch of gijinkas for my Pokemon. I’m talking about it now because I also intend to draw up gijinkas for Pokemon to trade away. I’ve already done a few. However, I don’t know for sure how I’m going to distribute them. The idea is people can trade actual Pokemon with me (in either X or Let’s Go Eevee) and the Pokemon they get will come with a character design for you to keep. I was thinking I might do a discord server for organizing trades and such, but I haven’t yet. Mostly because it’s low priority and I have SO many other things going on. But actually playing Pokemon can happen when I’m too fatigued for real work, so the horde keeps growing. Hopefully my posts and scribbles about it are entertaining.

I feel like there’s other projects on hold that I wanted to discuss, but right now I’m too braintired to remember, and some of my ‘projects’ never actually got talked about online so nobody’s waiting for an update. My greatest problem seems to be that I try to juggle too many pointless side projects and then drop them all over the place. Sometimes I’ll shitpost about an idea and even I won’t be sure if I was serious or not. How do I end this post? I don’t know.

tl;dr Megan is SLEEPY and dropped her spaghetti everywhere but somehow still has time to play POKEMON and WON’T STOP TALKING ABOUT IT

#long post #what do i even tag this as

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q--uee--n · 5 years

Text

So, here’s Part 1 of my shamelessly pandering, fluffy Post-Zero Requiem headcanons/notes because I just want everyone to be happy and content and I don’t care how unrealistic some of these are. fuck

(Note: the following 999.9% disregards Re;surrection and falls in line with the events of the original series.)

Suzaku (Zero)

• at first throws himself into being Zero and protecting Nunnally, not at all thinking he deserves anything but the misery that’s been placed upon him.

• mistakingly believes Nunnally hates him for murdering her brother. She ultimately sets him straight, and though they’re fairly close, there are still moments where Suzaku’s guilt becomes an obstacle to their relationship.

• for the first few months, he is cold and stoic as Zero, but as time passes and he grows into the role, he begins to soften. Still, his Zero is relatively distant and mute compared to Lelouch’s grand, theatrical version.

• misses the hell out of Euphemia and Lelouch (even if his relationship with the latter was more complex than a Rubik's Cube) but, over time, slowly reconciles with their deaths. Slowly especially applies to Euphy’s case. It took a while, but he eventually limits his visits to Euphy’s memorial from once every two weeks to once a month to once every other month to once a year (in the distant future).

• formally reconnects with Kaguya after she brusquely informs him that she’s aware of his identity. She manages to swindle him into having tea with her. Every week. It’s at one of these meetings where he breaks down and apologizes for all the pain he’s caused her, but she reassures him that she’s just happy they’re together again. They often simultaneously laugh and gag at the fact that they used to be engaged, and Suzaku becomes so attached to her, Kaguya’s guard detail starts to become suspicious of his intentions.

• on the subject of his relationships, he, against all odds, becomes close to C.C. and even closer to Kallen. He and C.C. have a weird understanding based on their love for Lelouch, and he bonds with Kallen (once she maneuvers around her own issues) over their mutual painful experiences, which is where they find common ground.

• Gino discovers his identity by accident. Milly does so on purpose. Both are rather bizarre, cautionary tales, but as a result of them, Zero’s personal associates are up by two.

• ironically has a large following among small children, who are at the receiving end of his softest interactions with the public. Mothers everywhere adore him just for that. As do stores that make the most profit selling Zero birthday cakes.

• unironically has a large following among horny young adults. Is the topic of a popular tabloid, Zero Weekly, which mostly speculates about his sex life and what he looks like underneath the mask. He’s scandalized by the magazine, as are Kallen and Nunnally, but C.C. and Kaguya love it.

• utilizes multiple disguises, in part because Kallen refuses to be seen in a public setting with him while he’s Zero for a second time and the rest is because Nunnally just likes putting together outfits for him.

• in the little free time he has, his hobbies consist of feeding the stray cats he’s accumulated over the years, reading poetry (it reminds him of Lelouch and a kinder time when they were friends), and watching the ridiculously bad American soap operas he swears he doesn’t watch. Their content should make bad memories surface, but they’re just so horribly acted, the effect falls flat.

• only after years of it being drilled into his head, he eventually accepts that he doesn’t have to be alone if he doesn’t want to and that the whole Zero thing doesn’t have to be completely miserable.

• still healing from, well, everything but has acquired a loyal support base in the few friends he has, and though he still doesn’t quite think he deserves any happiness he’s found, he’s in too deep to reject it (and there’s no way in hell that anyone will let him).

• cries the first time someone says they love him, halfway out of disbelief because he doesn’t think he’s worthy of anyone’s love and halfway out of relief because he’d never imagined there’d come a day where the phrase was directed at him again.

C.C.

• hangs around after Lelouch’s death because she can, not because she, god forbid, cares about the people in her life. Nope. Not at all, thank you very much.

• lives in Suzaku’s quarters in the palace until he gets so frustrated by the pizza boxes piling up in his room that he asks Nunnally to give her her own space. C.C. is more than happy to move when she learns the room is Cheese-kun-themed.

• formally befriends Kallen after the realization that they’re both assholes with trust issues. They have bi-monthly girls’ nights of epic proportions, ones that usually culminate in a single whopping bad decision.

• is both intrigued and gobsmacked by the fact that Suzaku is still so cordial to her despite the circumstances and the things she puts him through daily. He’s the opposite of Lelouch in every way, but that’s what draws her to him the most.

• may or may not be attracted to Suzaku. It’s hard to tell.

• is online friends with Milly. Neither is aware of the identity of the other, but they’re nonetheless a powerful force that troll the internet with spam and shitposting.

• no one knows her real name. Except for Kaguya, of all people, and no one knows how or when or why they became close enough to be on first names basis, and it just doesn’t make sense at all, to the point where Kallen loses sleep at night thinking about it.

• once recounted the time Benjamin Franklin told her off to Suzaku after he returned from a particularly despondent assignment. Afterward, they stayed up eating pizza and reminiscing over fond memories they had of Lelouch, which allowed Suzaku to see a kinder, more vulnerable side of C.C. for the first time. It also marked the beginning of their weekly sleepovers, though they don’t refer to them as such.

• sometimes goes riding with Nunnally on weekends. The younger girl reminds her of her brother, and like his, Nunnally’s heart is pure and kind. She gives C.C. a warm feeling similar to the one she got from Lelouch.

• is constantly traveling and moving about but always returns to Nunnally and Suzaku’s side at their residence in Japan.

• is well aware of the fact that everyone she’s come to accept as friends will die while she’ll remain living. This is her biggest point of contention, and she contemplates leaving more often than not, but she stays because she can’t leave.

• "I said that Geass was the power of the king which would condemn you to a life of solitude. I think, maybe, that's not quite correct. Right, Lelouch?"

• has stopped accumulating experience and started living.

Kallen

• finishes her last year of high school and, soon thereafter, becomes a full-time college student. Focusing on her education, she takes time off the Black Knights but still works as a reserve officer and is never without the key to her beloved Knightmare Frame. Because just in case, and Rakshata is always updating the Guren.

• resented Zerozaku for months following the Requiem, even though she knew everything that happened was all according to Lelouch’s plan. She overcomes her negative feelings after coming across Suzaku at Euphemia’s grave and realizing he knows the pain she’s suffering. She finds that maybe they aren’t as different as she thought.

• proves vital in helping Suzaku heal and vice versa. They’re both disasters, and they’re opposite in every sense of the word, but all that means is that they never manage to stunt each other, even when they just can’t understand each other.

• after they become friends, C.C. is her second most contacted person. Milly is her first because that woman cannot be trusted.

• begins a charity in her brother Naoto’s name with the help of her mother. The charity is dedicated to reuniting families displaced by the war.

• discovers she has an extremely high alcohol tolerance once she’s of age and could outdrink anyone at any time (”yes, Tamaki that also applies to you. ...Please, Ohgi’s son has higher tolerance than you”) but generally doesn’t fuck with alcohol because she doesn’t like the idea of becoming dependent on it. She makes enough bad decisions on her own, thanks.

• is, like various other members of the original Order of the Black Nights, a hero of the rebellion and a bona fide celebrity, though she still has to work to support herself and her mother and is a tad bitter about that. Especially considering she has all the other “privileges” of celebrity such as sporadic street interviews while she’s on her commute to work.

• because of that one time she danced with Zero at that one party, everyone assumes they’re together, and the media plays it up. She can’t count the number of times she’s had to call in to news stations falsely referring to her as “Zero’s paramour”.

• “True or false? Are you involved with Zero?” “...Involved with–I’m not–who said–” “Ah. You hesitated. Does that confirm our suspicions?” “I didn’t hesitate because that shouldn’t have been a question” “Well, a source close to you informed us of the fact that–” “Source? What source–?” *cue the moment she realizes that the source is C.C. Or Milly. Or both.

• Gino is the source.

• sleeps over at the palace at Nunnally’s invitation when her mother isn’t home and she’s feeling particularly lonely, sometimes sandwiched between C.C. and Suzaku in his room but the bed is more than large enough. It’s weird but it’s comfortable and it makes her feel that much more secure.

• grows out her hair. By the time she’s twenty-two, it’s almost as long as C.C.’s.

• still loves Lelouch with all her heart, but does eventually become open to pursuing a relationship. (”Gino wants to go out with you, doesn’t he? Why don’t you just say yes?” “Just because I said I was open to dating doesn’t mean I want to date Gino, C.C.” “I suppose you’re right. Although that could be because you want to fu–” “One more word out of you and I’ll put Cheese-kun in the shredder.”)

• changes her legal surname to “Kozuki”.

#code geass #code geass: hangyaku no lelouch #code geass r2 #kururugi suzaku #zerozaku #c.c. (code geass)#kallen stadtfeld #kallen kozuki #headcanons #my notes #you don't have to take this post seriously #but i do

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deafchild2000 · 5 years

Text

I Never Really Liked Rikki

Alright before y'all go on and say I'm "shitposting" or degrading your favorite mermaid, just let me let it out!

Rikki Chadwick is one of the 5 mermaids (yes, counting Bella and Charlotte) on H2O: Just Add Water. When she she became a mermaid, she got heating powers, essentially leading to actual fire and lightning powers in Season 2.

On the Wikia, she's described as: Rikki is quite rebellious, independent, sarcastic and carefree, making the two argue often.Rikki frequently speaks her mind without euphemism or without care that her opinions might hurt other people's feelings. She has a hard time sympathizing with people who are in pain, as seen in "Dangerous Waters." She can be very stubborn and has a short temper. Rikki has a strong adventurous streak and is the first to fully embrace the possibilities of the girls' new powers. Despite their arguments, Rikki and Emma do get along a lot of the times, and Rikki genuinely cares for her friends. This is demonstrated when she takes Emma and Cleo out on a shopping spree with her new money in "Dangerous Waters." To make up for her previous blunder in the same episode, she also does her best to buy Cleo the perfect new fish (as thanks, Cleo dubs the fish "Hot Stuff," in honor of Rikki). Rikki also shows her care for Emma when Rikki prods Byron to apologize to her friend in "Sink or Swim," revealing that Emma is not as tough and thick-skinned as she lets on.

Not only does Rikki shows her rebellious nature freely, but she encourage it in her friends as well. In "Pressure Cooker", Rikki encouraged Cleo and Emma to rebel against Charlotte Watsford and her mother, Annette Watsford who were invited by Don Sertori to stay over for dinner. Thinking that Don is getting remarried and that Charlotte will become Cleo's step sister, Rikki encouraged the others to use their powers to ruin the food, not knowing that Annette was only invited as a business partner. Despite her carefree nature, Rikki is capable of displaying a sense of responsibility especially when it comes to money. In the episode "Hook, Line and Sinker", Rikki attempted to look for some financial security for her family by attending Harrison Bennett's seminar, only to find it to be a scam. In "In Over Our Heads", Rikki attempted to help her father by trying to find a lost treasure for the reward money because her family was struggling with the bills. During her stay as café manager in season three, she was able to show her ability in running a business successful. When Rikki left after breaking up with Zane, the café started to struggle despite Sophie replacing her as manager, showing her organizational and monetary abilities.

But the things is, I never connected to her. Actually, I could never relate to any of the trio, but Rikki at most (ironically it's Charlotte and Bella that has my favor.).

See, by technically, I should like her because I'm sarcastic, independent, rebellious, stubborn, easily vengeful, unapologetically blunt at times and savvy business-wise (side hustle - jobs- for money). Plus I've been borderline homeless and raised by a single parent.

But for myself and others, I had needed to be more than that. Where I'm sarcastic, I am concerned and loyal when it needs to be regardless of circumstances. Where I'm independent, even I have to admit defeat and ask for help because I accept I don't know everything. When I'm stubborn, while admitting for fighting in what I believe in, I do my best to set it aside when need be or else Karma would be on my ass. For my rebelliousness, I have to know when I draw the line and go too far. Same goes for being vengeful, but I at least have someone (mom and uncle) on my corner to steer me away and even get a good laugh out of it while I can still reverse it. I'm legit working on being blunt since past experiences taught me sugarcoating isny always the best option, but I do have basic understanding why people do it. Sometimes the bandaid does need gently peeling to get the job done - especially if it's for the sake of a child.

So in comparison, between me and Rikki, felt that aside from a few glimpses of her realizing her mistakes and vulnerability, in those 3 years of being a mermaid, she never really took on the lessons she learned and developed Empathy. Empathy is all about understanding someone and their feelings, especially if their in a place you've been before. And considering that Rikki had a bunch of friends to pull her from the dark side of her personality, no one really bothered to do that when her personality took a turn for the worse in Season 2. Season 3 was when she nearly reached the point of No Return if Will hadn't intervene to stop her from borderline killing Ryan in the moon pool.

Then, I've talked to friends about this and perhaps it originally stemmed from the mermaid aspect of her life. Yes, H2O is just a tv show, and it aired years before I entered my own teenhood, but people are drawn to it because they can relate to the girls in the show. So, when it came to being a mermaid, I believed that it was because all teenagers struggled with being different and that what usually (or generally) sets them apart from their peers.

Now, I live in the US, and I'm an African-American female who's smart (book and street-wise) and has an internal, physical disability: I'm deaf in my right ear. Add in a potential fact that I might have Aspergers (a form of Autism), I never really stood a chance growing up. I knew how to be apart of a group (most of the time), but I was essentially a wall flower in it. There was/are time when I had to dive into things trending for pre/teens just so I had to understand what the big fuss was about. (Plus watching people deal with unnecessary teen drama has always been a turnoff for me.)

Thus leading me to believe Rikki never really had to fight for anything. Yeah, she was pure but not poor enough to live in a single house of multiple strangers (which was my life in 5th grade). She didn't have to struggle to fit in, whether or not that was the case, since she basically had her own little niche of mermaid sisters and (a) boyfriend. In my case, that's more than anyone could ever get in high school- minus the mermaid aspect. But if you add that in, Rikki literally had a whole separate life all to herself where she could get away and in my case, I never had that. Reading and writing was the only escape I had from reality and there were times even that wasn't enough.

So, during that time, if I was one, being a mermaid, like Rikki, would be embeaced but with the rightful amount of shock of the situation would also be there as well.

And maybe I would be prone to abuse my powers, who wouldn't? Having a supernatural ability, using it as I see fit to work for me or against others? I actually thing having something no one else has tend to make anyone else selfish, whether they are all alone or in a small group of those like them. It's Human Nature to be like that. Besides, look when the trio had done so on multiple occasions, yet were hypocrites in regard to Charlotte when she did so to Nate. (Which I will happily point out all the times Rikki did just that, like when she found out she was a part of a fish scheme and all the other times she blantatly almost killed someone with her powers.)

However, I also knew that "With Great Power, Comes Great Repsonibility" is true, regardless of fictional or realistic obligations. If I did want to just pranks someone, I would do it so obviously- with potentially witnesses- and then make it a recurring gag.

(To be honest, if I did and did it so often to a sibling like Kim Sertori, well, let's just say I'd accept responsibility If I got found out because I had it coming for doing said pranks in the first place.)

If I had wanted to use my powers like a weapon to harm someone, I knew I better have a damn good reason to do so, especially if said powers were as dangerous as Rikki's. And then question if that said person was a threat or just someone I really didn't like. And add in the fact if it was on purpose or a genuine accident (like, for example, how I'd like to believe Emma was traumatized after realizing ahe had frozen Miriam alive. Sure the girls saved her in time, but still, that should have been a hint to the girls to not only expand the knowledge of their powers, but become increasingly aware of how dangerous they are. So if they hadn't saved Miriam or Rikki ended up killing her....)

Basically summarizing above, Rikki was shown on more than one regard just how careless and irresponsible she is with her powers and then had the nerve to be self-righteous and hypocritical when someone else does it, and it's someone she doesn't like.

However, while I admit to giving her cudos on some of her ocean adventure - definitely as she's a career diver as an adult- I don't think she really took into account just how much of an advantage she had as a mermaid. While she wasn't a full-on superhero, she probably spent more time in the ocean more than anyone else since getting her tail. Meaning you'd finished being more awareness to the issues on the ocean such as trash and oil spills, taking in for granted having a rich boyfriend could technically help achieve resources to do so. Yeah, they shouldn't be drawing attention to themselves, like at all, but if the ocean is your second home, you can't tell me you'd wouldn't try to help keep that home alive and healthy.

So maybe the producers didn't show it or it just never occurred to them (or in Rikki's case, until her job profession), but if I had mermaid powers and a tail, Lord knows I would have been kept busy for all my teen years cleaning the beaches and pulling up trash after trash to at least somebody caught onto it and started taking action themselves. Not starting a trend, but a chain reaction. And it wouldn't be a seasonal thing either. Basically, if you had the ability to be a live like a fish, you use your human life to bring awareness to sustain that life. We caught maybe a few glimpses btwn H2O and Mako Mermaids, but that would have been a great way for Rikki to express just how much she clearly cared about being a mermaid. But thus she didn't, so I have no reason to believe she did or had a basic understanding of what oppertunities she had offered to her as a mermaid.

I would see it before anyone told me.

And sensing that I'm going off topic, I'll just steer myself back to the point: All other reasons aside, here are my main reasons I never liked her:

Rikki never really grew to have Empathy, or understand when someone is in a place where she once was. She stayed mentally the same as she grew up and it wasn't until she was an adult and found herself back where she started, that she finally developed it.

She actually had more than any other teenage girl can want and more. A roof over her head to call her own, friends and a chance for a significant other? Plus an amazing double life you had to see to believe? For someone like me, who has to fight through obstacles everyday between my race and disability, everything about that spells something worth taking for granted.

She never really took responsibility for her powers or learned from the trouble she caused. Maybe at the time, things seemed necessary, but overall, she was extremely careless and selfish in regards for it. And then some, in regards for using her powers in public and nearly exposed herself, especially when nearly seriously hurting someone, but then had the nerve to berate someone who did just that when she'd done the exact same or worse (adding in potentially murdering someone in the midst of her anger). Season 2 was the so best example of how bad that got and frankly, turned me against her completely to be honest. And Season 3 was basically like Season 1, only Cleo was in Emma's place plus a crazed obsession with protection the moon pool. (Which proven right considered how many damn people found it in the show's history, but still!)

While debatable, she never shown and consideration to the environment ( the Ocean) until it fit her needs. I can name a hundred of ways she could have shown concern and and helped environmental impacts and sea animals affected by it, and do it anonymously, especially considering her future job as a diver.

Like all stories, the 2000s H2O trio is supposed to be 3-dimensial characters who change throughout the story - or in this case, a show - where Emma was a responsible girl who learned to enjoy life, Cleo was a kind girl who learned to grow a backbone and Rikki was a loner who got friends.

As a child, it's easy to see it that way. And considering how Rikki is viewed as someone you'd want to grow up into -Strong, opinionated, stand firm in what's right - who wouldn't idolize that. Anyone, even young girls, should be like that because, in the real world, values like that are rarer than your led to believe.

But when you take into to account of whether or not Rikki is the type of role model you should look up to, then that's why I labeled and the things she's done under:

Static Character.

Rikki started and ended H2O as a mermaid with a rebellious streak. But though she's made mistakes and apologized, she never changed who she was and truly learned from her mistakes, leading me to believe she just kept getting things without any real consequences, thus no character developement.

As I'm ending this, I will acknowledge that I know this sounds like a rant degrading Rikki - and someone will chew me out defending her for it- but after watching all the seasons and how taken Rikki into consideration I came to see if she was real, we'd never get along. So while I'm not going "I hate her so much!" or "She's so ugly!", I'm simply stating why that I don't believe Rikki deserves all the fanfare she's got over the years.

#h2o just add water #mermaids #rikki chadwick #rant #why I don't like this character

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phantomphangphucker · 5 years

Text

In The Hands Of Teeth - The Reveal Is Upon Us

You stand in front of this particular Door of Revelations, “lexoendus”.You’ve been warned to go with caution, though you can’t see why; they played few games and never toyed with anything but people’s ocular sanity. Though the door qualifies as odd for sure.

“Eh, I think it’s kinda stylish though not practical at all” patting your bag, checking that what you need is all there. Some food and drink, but most importantly your notes and The Knife of Revelations.

“The handy work on this thing is still toothtastic” you compliment, eyeing the blade of sculpted teeth. Putting it back you then glance down to your notes on the Lexx virus, proper prep and all that jazz, You think with a teeth-baring chuckle.

:Lexonervosa:

A highly contagious virus that attacks the central nervous system. After fully infecting a host the virus cells hideaway in the heart

:Symptoms:

Riddle obsession

Visible mask hiding identity

Mild paranoia of being cured

Desire to torment d-o-t-s

Increase in shitposting

Narrow obsession with one unique thing that comes to define their existence henceforth

Sudden onset chaos

Forming symbolic bonds with other infected

Formation of a hidden Door of Revelations.

:Treatment:

Either unravel the riddles revealing their identity or eliminate the virus by finding and destroying the heart inside the Lexx’s form.

Running your tongue across your teeth you knock on the door, it creaks open and you’re are greeted by a HORRIFYING looking doorman.

“hel-“, slamming the door shut but you reopen it because goddammit you have to do this. “-lo”, slamming the door again because fuck man you were not ready. Reopening the door slowly this time, but instead of speaking he simply raises an eyebrow; eyeing him and his harsh vertically stripped strawberry red suit cautiously you say “uh”.

He takes that as freedom to speak while moving his limbs spastically he speaks with a mouth that’s alarmingly big and way too sharp. “It’s a pleasure to be meeting you sweetheart, quite a pleasure” he drags you in, both light pink hands on your right arm, his grip is quite strong borderlining on painful. The door giving a sudden and damning slam behind you “excuse my abrupt appearance but I saw your fiasco with the others and I just couldn’t resist!” Physically twirling you around to face him close enough that you could feel his breath if he had one, he’s hunched over so that he’s only slightly taller than you. “What a performance!”

He Springs up to his full high suddenly, this guy must be at least 9 feet tall. “Why I haven’t been that entertained since the great political scandal of two one zero six!” He exclaims cranking his neck at painful and inhuman degrees wildly from side to side. The fact that he sounds out each number instead of saying them as a whole, is definitely all kinds of wrong; especially when he turns his head at a new angle after every number. He smiles wide “.....Soooo much tragedy” he mumbles.

You feel sweat on your neck and are completely confused by this door and this man. Lexoendus while alarming seemed innocent enough! Why the heck is there a freakishly tall skinny man?

Even his eyes are wrong, perpetually opened wide; you rarely see his eyelids. Either not noticing your mild distress or not caring, you can’t tell, this strange man continues “See I’m here because I want to help!” On that note he shoves you, with the head of his hooked crimson cane, down a hill which you hadn’t even noticed was there.

You stubble down into a land of teeth.

Small teeth

“Behold these approaching visitors” 🎵

Big teeth

“How I pity unwitting prisoners”🎵

Sharp teeth

“Welcome to the dark world”🎵

Blunt teeth

“In front of you unfurled”🎵

Mountains of them

“A beauty toying within your heart”🎵

Fields of flowers whose petals bite

“Hearts to burn out as you fall apart“🎵

Trees whose fang leaves would stab you if they fell

“How I wonder what for your searchin”🎵

Some stained with blood

“Come to see what keeps my world turnin”🎵

Some with dirt

“In the dark only green eyes see”🎵

And yet others bleached by exposure.

“There’s a game to be played that’ll see us free”🎵

Your toothy fall finally stills just as the doorman’s cane stabs into the ground next to your head. Standing you notice the thick barbed wire wrapping around his cane, that thing is a weapon for sure. He eyes you up and down, points his cane forward then taps your heels with the cane.

“That’s the direction you seek sweetie” Getting the message you begin walking. You frequently have to step lightly over yet another snapping flower or dodge a falling tooth-leaf. I mean I adore twinkling shiny teeth and all but this is absurd. He walks a bit in front of you smiling all the while. You’re positive that he smiles wider every time something sharp comes a little to close to you for comfort. “What is all this and what is with that singing¿?¿” at this point, you have no clue what to expect. A sea of teeth would be pretty cool to see though you can’t help but think.

“Step outside with me, be a pawn no more”🎵

He gives a curled smile and twirls his cane.

“I’ve never had such fun, fun before”🎵

The occasional flash of eyes sky blue or radioactive green doesn’t make any of this seem more normal. “Why, it’s just what grows from Its presence” he is making a show of revealing as few teeth as possible while saying that. You are unsure if that’s comforting or deeply concerning. Especially since you don’t know why there even is a doorman.

“You’ve fallen so far, then farther”🎵

Shouldn’t there only be the main with a Lexx mask on or Lexx suit if that door symbolized anything. “See dearie, even sealed away It’s essence still drips” he points to the black ink-like substance dripping down the walls, or what you think might be walls, of this place.

“Deep into the dark, darker yet darker”🎵

“It’s twisted nature, echoed in this place” he waves his hand out

“Is it the time to set these disgusting chains on fire”🎵

“It? What “It”” you stare cautiously at his back noticing him smile wickedly and glance with one eye at you. Not stopping or slowing his pace.

“Decades ago It manifested seemingly overnight, It began to topple ghosts who had been-“

“It seems like a lifetime ago”🎵

“-dominate since the beginning. -“

“Since I was free to glow”🎵

“Such raw power hand never been seen before, many have speculated what unimaginable -“

“Time for the fangs of gold”🎵

“- force enabled It to rival the zones most evil and destructive -“

“The story must be told”🎵

“- beings but one things for sure -“

“Domain built for a king”🎵

“-It is an unpredictable cause of destruction -“

“Megalomaniac to extreme”🎵

“-a wicked source of mystery -“

“This corrupted mind”🎵

“-and a violent monster of chaos”

“Is one of a kind”🎵

“The monster of ghosts long before”

“Full of corruption but that’s okay”🎵

“Creating paths of blood that followed It’s every word” slowing his pace and lifting up his cane as if it’s a staff he sweeps it around drawing your eyes over the land. “Until, deep into this darkened forest, captured and imprisoned.”

“All restrictions will die away”🎵

“Uh, What kind of person is behind this Lexx!?” Your bewildered expression earns a hollow laugh. His expression one of loathing, of someone who’s put off revenge too long.

“It’s not worth losing sleep”🎵

“Who are you¿?¿” You can no longer help but ask. Some weird doorman that shouldn’t exist who clearly has motives of some kind. His wicked grin returns with a vengeance “Why dearie me, how could I have forgotten something so utterly unimportant” he says that last word in a way that’s sickeningly sweet. But his scratching voice is all wrong for such a tone.

“It’s not worth analyzing” 🎵

“I am -”

“I’m not the bad guy”🎵

“- Atlas” he finishes with something close to a bow. This is the closest you’ve gotten to getting him to stop moving.

“I’m just a bit surprising”🎵

You eye him carefully, he has the name of a guide but he’s still weird. “Well, you seem like the kind of “atlas” that guides people to” looking around “toothy deaths” Entirely stopping he tilts his head painfully to the left at a perfect 90-degree angle. “Dear if I wanted to hurt anybody here, I would have done so already” with a too large grin. Again you’re unsure of whether you’re comforted or more concerned.

You two have been walking along for a while now, you’ve noticed that as you’ve walked the teeth have become more deformed, more damaged and more rotten. Honestly, they’re still pretty, though I prefer the more pearly ones. Not to mention there’s actually a smell accompanying it, you scrunch your nose up. Atlas suddenly hooks the back of your shirt with the curve of his cane and lifts you up to his eye level, ToothTacular Christ this man is tall! “Down where the monsters hide, normal is just a dream for all the ghosts like It”

“Uh, ok¿” You respond to his out of left field statement still dangling from his cane.“You lost your mind lassie, can’t be doing that here” putting you down he continues on with a playful glare. “I’m pretty sure he did that just to be a toothy dick” You mutter. “If you notice the scents you’re thinking too much.” He states tapping you on the nose with his cane.

Deciding that ignoring him is probably a bad idea, chuckling you state “I’m just here to purge this Lexx virus, eyeing the scenery might help me find It since you seem to be either taking me the long way around or are just a distraction” adding “though all the glistening teeth are rather pretty, like all the stars in space fell to earth.” Earning a genuine chuckle from the smiling doorman.“This whole Lexx thing, this simple virus, has been quite the thing! if I do say so” with an odd bow towards you “which I do” he finishes with a toothy smirk and a suspicious narrowing of his eyes.

“Which gave me a new gig“🎵

“Uh yeah, it’s made for lots of jokes, even new friends.” You smile fondly. Grinning wide, he replies “Oh, I’m certain it has sweet cheeks!”

“Caused for tons of people to show off those bones in their jaws that don’t have any flaws.” Eyeing his grinning teeth with a level of admiration, the man clearly cares about them “which you seem to be doing a lot yourself”. Chuckling “of course, I’ve got no reason not to.”

“let me know if you dig”🎵

“Now why don’t we get to something juicy!” He straightens with a harsh jerk and a wider smile.”since you seem so eager to be all, one and done” he twirls his cane while also twirling his free hand.

“Ain’t going home so better go big”🎵

You had long since stopped paying attention to the odd ass song being sung or played, you didn’t know. Though maybe that hadn’t been such a wise choice.

Grinning wildly he continues on, both with his feet and his large mouth. “The Lexx you seek isn’t much father, but lassie you lack what you need. And I don’t care to be a bother to your time or my own.”

“What do you mean? I’ll just go up and tell them to give up the ghost. Shits over, parties done -“

“Everything I’ve done in this plight”🎵

“- pack up your mask and skedaddle”

“No regrets and the time is right”🎵

He laughs in both a humoured and mocking way “dearie no, follow my guidance, would you kindly; some things need to be brought satisfaction!” his eyes curl upwards which is definitely not a human expression.

“Um ew” rolling his eyes he steamrolls right over your comment as he walks to stand right in front of you. Bending down he strokes you lightly on the chin “all I need from you, sweetheart, is a little present” straightening up and twirling the hand that isn’t atop his cane “a sacrificial lamb if you will”.

“But with this Lexx jail”🎵

“You mean like herbs or a full-on person to murder?!” You state raising your eyebrow and crossing your arms playfully, unsure if he’s serious or if this is just some sort of weird “are you worthy” test.

“you might get help from this devil of tale”🎵

“Death and destruction! But of course!” He exclaims cheerily, lofting his arms and shoulders up in what would be an exaggerated shrug if it wasn’t for his stiff back and cheery demeanour. “It is the brokenness that exists in every demented thought. -“

“Saw the fun, an opportunity, and along this creature bring”🎵

“Singing twisted melodies throughout all the lands.”

“With my fangs, incisors I can do anything”🎵

“Showing the images of the sick and disturbed”

“Am I your friend? Perhaps, perhaps not”🎵

“How could It require anything’s else to be freed” he finishes with his face only inches from yours.

“Mischief, mischief or chaos, chaos”🎵

Jarringly he pulls back while saying “just someone who’s a true sinner, truly vile, wretched! a traitor!” with a curt nod he adds “yes, that would certainly do splendidly”. Staring at him you wonder would someone with shitty teeth do it? who would fit such a bill? Who woul- you are stuck by a cursed memory. One so vile that thinking of it in a positive manner would certainly be cause for genuine concern, hell it might make your teeth fall out. Looking to this strange pink skinned red-suited man, you reply with a wide toothy grin of your own “oh I know just the sinner”

“Now you know the just of it”🎵

His returning grin is so wickedly large you fear his face may become lost in it. Though honestly, that would be an improvement. “Puuuuuurfect” again in that sickly sweet voice. “Simply get him here, preferably with the utmost haste”

“found the perfect fit.”🎵

Shooing you with both his hands, cane under his left armpit, does he even need that thing? “Now hurry along sweetheart, can’t have you dilly-dallying!” you turn to face him but instead find yourself smack dab in front of a door. “Where the-“ you get cut off as something pushes you right through the door. That felt suspiciously like a cane handle. Facing the now closed door one doorman simply smiles and cranks his head to and fro.

“Finished training”🎵

Upon returning to the door with a man in tow, which only happened because he knew about the Lexxpocalypse and like almost everything else the phandom did, he hated it. The door is still weird but this time you expect the creepy ass doorman, Atlas. Chuckling you say “go on open the door, opening a door is a pretty easy solution for this whole mess” I hope he scares you so bad you never talk again, you idiotic bastard. You don’t even deserve your own teeth. The man oddly just does it, muttering all the while “no one mocks my show with some stupid headcanons and this meme shit” As soon as the door opens he is yanked inside but as you rush to follow him in you find neither him nor Atlas. “Well, this is just toothtastic” you chuckle dryly.

“done explaining”🎵

Chuckling atop a hill with the limp body of one Bitch Fuckman this smiling doorman says with a grin “this time the sweet little thing can find her way to me, let her experience this places plentiful charms” Atlas simply walks off to where he had been when you had left this place.

Stumbling along you realize it’s a lot harder to not notice the song when you’re alone “that man though strange, is a stellar distraction”.

“Nothing will be left remaining”🎵

It’s a lot harder to ignore the constant snapping of teeth,

“A cold and maddening decent”🎵

The occasional thunk of a tooth-leaf piercing the ground

“Nothing thing can prevent”🎵

And the song which you’re starting to think is a warning, plus this place is smelling quite strongly. Eventually, you find yourself giggling “Christ what is wrong with this place? It’s like an acid trip at a really obsessive dentists office” Quickly you school your thoughts, remembering Atlas’s earlier warning and deciding that it was definitely right; giggling isn’t something you normally do. No matter how many pretty teeth there are here, I do have some ability to feel shame after all.

Finally, you spot the man of the hour, the doorman, Atlas. “Uh, are you carrying a limp or dead Bitch? Not that I’m complaining though” You ask as you approach cautiously.“Oh worry not dear, he’s simply sleeping!”

“Well, that’s a nice way of saying you whacked him” you mutter through crosses arms. “Oh come now, I’d hardly call giving him a gentle push “whacking”” with a shrug he adds “even if that push was down a few too many feet with a very sharp landing!” chuckles escaping his wide grin. With every step Bitch’s legs bounce limply and at some point, he lost a shoe. But remembering Livin’ Large you’re pretty sure you aren’t expected to care. Though you still elect to give Atlas a wider birth for the rest of this “trip” you don’t want it to turn into an actual trip.....down some toothy rocks. Though death by teeth sounds like a right good way to go.

Eventually, you stumble across a dilapidated throne of contorted teeth, occasionally blurring and glitching.“Well that seems grandiose and excessive, but it is mawvellous” you shake your head though Atlas simply eyes you with his ever-present smile. “On top the tipsy tower sits the tyrant, deliver It a devilsknife, see It smilin’.” Is all the commentary he supplies.“The only smiler I’ve seen here is you Mr. Doorman”

“When this game is over, my waiting stopped”🎵

Then you notice the figure sitting stiff on the throne, it’s Lexx mask standing out starkly. You also notice that this Lexx’s mask does have one hell of a weird ass smile. “Seriously? The psychotic murder Yugio face?” You’re not sure whether to be judging or amused, at least they went with a nice set of chompers. INSERT FACE

Shrugging Atlas merely says “it seemed most fitting my dear” Shaking your head, you take the Knife of Revelations out from your bag.

“All hope of ending me will be dropped”🎵

“I still don’t get why the sacrifice is needed” jabbing a thumb in the general direction of Bitch’s body, which has been unceremoniously left on the ground in a heap.“since this knife business should be all that’s needed” you fail to catch the wide and malicious smile Atlas gives.

“Did you enjoy this game we played with your heart”🎵

Stepping up you plunge the knife through the heart of worming teeth, causing the facade to fade. As it does so, revealing the creature beneath and you understand why things were this way.

“But with this, the Lexx game falls apart”🎵

“Sweet fanged Christ” stumbling back, if there was a door to slam you would because this glitchy antlered thing almost hurt to look at. Turning to Atlas you say. “Uh buddy? -“

“Evil One?” 🎵

“- Where the ever loving fuck is the main blog, I don’t know of any blog tied to this” You gesture wildly at the stretching glowing thing that’s now lounging like a cat across Its throne, four green eyes slitted in contentment “thing”

“Risen one?”🎵

“Oh honey, this Lexx thing was all for It,-“

“No I just want to have fun.”🎵

“- to bring It out-“

“But this new world of old can’t be tamed” 🎵

“The main blog has little involvement here”“That doesn’t make a tooth lickin’ inch of sense ya freaky man” you groan slightly high pitched. “What or who even is that, a ghostsona I assume but -“Chuckling he cuts you off “a ghostsona indeed little dearie, as for the who well..”

“Now time to be truly named”🎵

Chuckling atop Its throne It walks down the glitching steps, glitching Itself in time with it; it’s clawed feet reverberating clicking sounds across the ground and all its joints making a strange static sound at every movement.

“I’m an apex predator, TheSilver Born” spoken through a mouth full of sharp teeth and thick fangs. Grinning, Atlas knows well enough to step back. You, however, know no such thing.

“I, this thing, am Alistar” It says it’s mouth unhinging twice with a voice best described as honey that’s been poisoned. “and I well, I was outcasted, sealed, only cause this thing” gesturing with one hand outlandishly to Itself, clawed fingers brushing up against its opened sleeveless black trench coat “couldn’t be brought to zero” It steps closer to you standing straight with an outreaching hand only a foot away from touching you. It’s white mist like hair waving in the air, easily twice it’s body length. At this point, you realize you don’t actually have the ability to back off.

“Now here you stand, a proud little hero” came Its mocking sneer, sliding it’s horrifyingly long pointed black tongue out only to crack it like a whip in the air. Well this is some fangbangin’ bullshit, standing your ground “generally things that are sealed up are for a reason”

Chuckling and cracking Its tongue again, It responds “Oh I promise I am innocent of any Wicked crime”. With that Atlas steps up behind you, lightly kicking the unconscious Bitch Fuckman as he does, and begins stroking your hair. Dude, bro, buddy, pal, you are getting freakier and freakier by the second. I’m all for mawvellously creepy but not this kind of creepy. You elect not to say that out loud though.

“Others feared what it could do! This creature! By terrified eyes locked away.” He suddenly lifts a pointer finger up in front of your face. “So cleverly, I waited till Its name became long forgotten.” Chuckling he continues while you eye him with mild horror “Waited till the knowledge of Its murderous wake all dried up”. Listening all the while Alistar grins, Its long pointed ears twitching, at the mention of Its past actions; which definitely were wicked. “Till no one suspected It had ever been”

Ok. Ya. You’re the evil, or at least malicious, kind of creepy. Not my style. Opting to attempt for more information you ask him “what do you mean? That doesn’t make a-“

Cutting you off he supplies “Alistar’s been gracing these lands for a long time dearie. I felt that this “Lexxpocalyspe” was fit for ripping down Its bars” laughing lightly he continued “So the world bear witness to Its personal brand of fun!”

Chuckling Alistar adds “Now See My chaos collapse this fragile house of cards” It spreads it’s arms wide head back with its unihorn aglow, gesturing wildly as the environments teeth crack and pop, exploding and leaking, dripping shiny black.

“Free to create fountains of dark”🎵

“Reawakening this twisted heart”🎵

Laughing It spins and hugs itself. Tipping Its body over to Bitch Fuckman It cups his face in Its long clawed hands but turns Its head to face you.

“Remember you signed on to this toothy game”

“So if someone winds up dead well then I’m not the one to blame” It borderline purrs showing a wide toothy grin. As the environments teeth all burst to black you notice that thick tendrils of black ink cling to, no bind, this creature and you come to understand. “The teeth looked way better decorations wise” sighing there’s no way this is good “the sacrifice had nothing to do with the Lexx virus, did it?.”

“By the time that you’ve played your part”🎵

“That my dear -“

“A blackness will awaken with this heart” 🎵

“ - is obvious” Grinning wide showing every pointed tooth Atlas traces his middle finger up the middle of your throat drawing your chin to tilt back. Once again this is the wrong kind of creepy, dude. Still smiling he looks down at you “Oh yes my sweet this is not any sort of end, but rather a great new beginning!”.

Alistar smiles, body glitching between white and black wildly “a little horror-story just begun and our shows so far from over”. Chuckling Atlas wraps his long limbs around you from behind and rests his head atop of yours, just as Bitch Fuckman wakes. Well bite me and call me completely screwed. Is all the commentary your brain supplies.

Alistar kneeling over Bitch, legs at odd angles showing off Its second backwards knees, the sight rips from him a blood-curdling scream. “Oh come now, don’t make a fuss!” Atlas laughs “We’re only playing” Alistar practically sneers into Bitch’s face. “Playing is fun! This is hardly what I’d call fun! What the hell are you! Where the hell is this!” Bitch rapidly speaks. Words cascading out like a terrified waterfall.“Oh, when you’re with us the party never ends!” Atlas says as he hooks Bitch’s ankle with his cane, yanking it so to complete dislocate the leg. Bitch dissolved into pathetic crying and screaming. “Y-you’re insane! T-this i-is insane!”

“I’m pretty sure they both lost it long ago” you mutter. “Oh don't be a downer sweet cheeks! Let It enjoy Its new plaything!” He gives your chin a somewhat painful pressured stroke.

Then Alistar, bellowing loud “I, in the name of chaos” Flings him across the floor with one hand as It stands. Unfortunately for him, Atlas’s grip on his cane is formidable causing the previously dislocated leg to be ripped clean off. “To you, the creator who betrayed us, even flaunted it on tape.”

Thousands of miniature screens spin around glitching and play varying clips from Phantom Planet. You can’t help the mental knee jerk reaction of fuck Phantom Planet, it’s not canon. All the while Bitch lays crumpled with blood leaking from his stump leg.

“We’ve written your fate and it can not be erased” Alistar and Atlas say together.

Atlas - “Shamed”

Alistar - “Disgraced”

Atlas - “Scathed”

Alistar - “Defaced “

“I’ll never write another damn cartoon again, I quit!” Bitch Fuckman screams but it’s no use. You’re reminded of that face, one of unsatisfied vengeance, Atlas wore earlier. He knew exactly who I’d pick when he asked for a sacrifice. You realize, feeling played but also impressed. He’s a mawvellous bastard even if he’s definitely not good or nice. Though I guess I’m not one to talk on that.

“Kicking, screaming, sinking slowly”🎵

Alistar, grabbing his face, places both Its legs atop his belly.

“Give your soul, it’s what you owe me”🎵

“Why are you doing this!” He bellows “those were the best episodes!” It doesn’t dignify him with a genuine answer instead only supplying “No rhyme or reason just a smile that’s only growing wider!” As Atlas laugh heartedly. Clearly, he’s enjoying the show.

Alistar’s fangs sink into Bitch’s throat, causing strange energy to flow out of his form into It causing the black tendril chaining It to spasm and slide off pooling into an inky mess. Jeez, at least I’m joking when I threaten to eat people. Standing up every movement flicks black ink off Its form, rubbing Its face it smiles and comes over to run claws through your hair, leaving behind some of the inky mess.

Cringing you manage to get out “so, uh, could I fucking go now.” Squirming quite aggressively against Atlas’s grip, but to no avail “You got to show your fangy crap to an unwitting prisoner so...” Right at the end of those words someone with skin pale white, eyes of the brightest blue and lips darkest night, steps up behind the creature named Alistar, it’s thetribalmoth.

With a soft, though unkind smile she says “apologies young thing but that can’t happen” she’s the main you realize, as she strokes Alistar lightly across the chin and up the jaw with the back of her pointer finger. Oddly she gets none of the black mess on her. “You’re not really here, are you” you glare as you notice that she also happens to be a bit translucent. “Of course not, but I had to make some sort of appearance” smiling “I couldn’t just let my creations play without making my presence known” Glaring you retort “I’m not something of your “creation”” you would air quote if you could move. Laughing Atlas produces a pocket mirror and clicks it open right in front of you.

“For maybe there is hope you’ll see”🎵

Looking back at you is the face of Lexoendus. “WHAT. THE. FUCK”

“Your shackles don’t need any broken keys”🎵

Laughing thetribalmoth says “Oh please what did you expect, nothing I didn’t create could ever find this place alone”

“With you I was finally set free” 🎵

Atlas indulges you “you were needed, something to allow Alistar access to the outside. A Lexx was quite a perfect scheme.”

“I’ve been given this perfect opportunity”🎵

“So I brought the virus here”

“Take it with pride“🎵

“And I weaved your fabric” finished thetribalmoth.

“And enjoy the ride“ 🎵

“And how fortunate that you fit just right.” Alistar adds. “You fanged fucks knew this whole show would have to come to an end” swallowing harshly, baring as much of your teeth as Atlas’s grip would allow “that there would be a cure to purge the virus in time” you finish. The only answer you got was a grin from Alistar.

“I’ll forever be a part of this community”🎵

“You took on a bit of a life of your own dearie,” Atlas says, sickly sweet. “But I didn’t stab my own heart you toothytits. I stabbed the one in that thing!” You struggle slightly more in your confusion. “Ahh, sooo many teeth puns” thetribalmoth sighs happily as she sits resting her head on a hand. “It’s nice to have something in common, I’m glad we can relate” you glare at her, which she seems to take pleasure in.

Walking up Alistar takes the Knife of Revelations from you, chuckling “Twas but an illusion of a tricksters game” The doorman’s smile is verging on giddy at the complement to his handy work as Alistar then leans in pushing the knife into your chest. “Can you feel it? join me in the darkness, join me and I can finish what you started” It purrs. Well, this bites. There’s not anything you can really do with Atlas wrapped around you from behind, he’s stronger than he looks, and Alistar is pushed right up against your chest.

You sputter through the black seeping over you and dribbling out your mouth. Jerking and glaring upwards you speak refusing to sound weak “Why would you? It seems like your goal is just to damn the world, but why?” Continuing on “why all this?”

“Honey, sweet thing, I’d say that doesn’t really matter. ‘Tis simply what I do.” While thetribalmoth mutters “Amusing is it not, how far he’ll go to keep this world from being left alone”

“So you create just to destroy? How many others have you ended to get what you want!” You accuse, completely ignoring thetribalmoth. Who honestly, seems pretty used to just yelling into a toothy void with no one paying attention. “Dearie, to win some you lose a few hundred” grinning “it wasn’t that bad anyway” twirling his cane free hand as you collapse to the ground, inside your toothy heart squirming wildly, body flickering, and slowly being merged into Alistar. Atlas, chuckling “at least you were good for something! It’s vision through your eyes has given It new life!”

“That’s real comforting” you wheeze out.

Then Alistar’s face, which was previously only inches from yours, whips over to face Bitch’s corpse as It slinks over. Long black veining connecting the two of you. Giving Bitch’s corpse a pat down “does this thing have any liquor?”

“I’ve just been functionally used as an entertainment teeth puppet to free a literal devil” you glare as harshly as one can while dying “Could you at least try to be serious” though I guess if the roles were reversed I wouldn’t be taking shit seriously either. “Oh don’t get your dolly eyes in twist sweetheart” Atlas says with a playful eye roll, as he bends down above you.

“Was that you trying to be sexist or Lexxist?”

“Whatever pisses you off more” he adds “besides it’s not like you were built to last” he dismisses you with a single twirl of his cane as he turns to face the erratic scene Alistar is making. His face is one of pure affection mixed with giddiness. That kind of affection screams adoration at that realization you continue your train of thought huh, he must serve her somehow. No wonder he’s here. “Is there seriously no liquor on him?” Groaning as It flops down and lounges outstretched across the corpse, smearing Itself with blood in the process.

“how does this fucker live with himself without a constant stream of knock-off mini bottles?” Is the last thing you hear before the static consumes you, as thetribalmoth erases your name. Your last thought is simply well at least I died absurdly and toothtastically.

Atlas sits down, legs crossed with his cane across both hips. As Alistar, standing with Its chest against his back, lounges It’s arms over his shoulders rubbing a cheek against the left side of his head.

Singing softly,

“These toothy parts freed my encaged heart”🎵

“Bringing lexoendus to an end, ripped apart”🎵

“This, their last show to put on”🎵

“But after tonight they’re gone”🎵

“I’ve made them disappear”🎵

“Now I’m the monster here”🎵

“A ghost reborn from their ashes” 🎵

Hundreds of voices cry, they thought you’d free them from this trial but you have only brought their pyre

@yourfaveissecretlyalexxblog

#lexoendus #thetribalmoth #gothmoth #reveal #lexx reveal #lex reveal #lexxpocalypse #atlas #ghostsona #alistar

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ieyasu-tacogawa · 6 years

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Analysis: MysMes V’s Route is genderbent Phantom of the Opera (the 2004 one)

Some of you may find this analysis to be a shitpost. Honestly it is. But I dare you to listen to all THIRTEEN of these Phantom of the Opera songs, read these analyses and tell me V’s route ain’t the same...

Christine = V

The Phantom = Rika

Raoul = MC

Carlotta = Ray

(Check out these sick MS Paint skillz ooh yeah. Pretend the Phantom is Rika)

Analysis and dissection of the songs below (WARNING: SPOILERS FOR MYSTIC MESSENGER V’S ROUTE AND THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA I GUESS. Also THIS IS REALLY LONG SORRY).

HANNIBAL

Ray takes MC to Mint Eye

“This trophy from our saviors, from our saviors, from the enslaving force of Rome!”

“We greet the victorious throng, returned to bring salvation!”

THINK OF ME

V’s idealistic views on Rika and romance at the beginning of the route.

“We never said our love was evergreen, or as unchanging as the sea. But if you can still remember, stop and think of me.”

I could quote half the song tbh.

ANGEL OF MUSIC

V and Jumin (Madame Giry’s daughter lmao) speak about V’s talent, Rika, etc.

V: “[Mother] once spoke of [unconditional love], I used to dream [someone I could love like Rika would] appear. Now as I [waste my time with photography] I can sense [her]. And I know [she’s] here.”

The final exchange: V: “[She’s] with me even now.” Jumin: “Your hands are cold” V: “All around me.” Jumin: “Your face, Jihyun, it’s white.” V: “I’m frightened.” Jumin: “Don’t be frightened.” (in Jumin terms, “approach the situation and assume the worst outcome blah blah”)

THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA

V and Rika climbing into her dark dark lair.

Rika: “Sing once again with me, our strange duet.” Rika constantly tries to prove throughout the story that V has some sort of devil inside of him too, since to her that’s the only way V could understand her.

“My power over you grows stronger yet. And though you turn from me to glance behind. The phantom of the opera is there, inside your mind.” Rika’s darkness is darker than yours! And yet despite her devils, despite her atrocious crimes, despite V’s hesitations and regrets, it is his “unconditional“ love for Rika that stops him from acting at the beginning.

V: “Those who have seen your face, draw back in fear. I am the mask you wear.” Rika tells us quite plainly that she uses fear as a manipulative tactic on the believers. V masks all these crimes from the RFA.

Rika: “Sing for me!” Equivalent to how Rika is constantly demanding V’s unconditional love.

MUSIC OF THE NIGHT (lmao)

This song is Rika af...

“Night time sharpens, heightens each sensation. Darkness wakes and stirs imagination.” blah blah blah. Basically the sensuality of this song is just as enticing and persuasive as Rika is. In addition, the theme of this song is to romanticize darkness, and we all know Rika loves that shit.

“Open up your mind, let your fantasies unwind, in this darkness which you know you cannot fight.”

"You alone can make my song take flight...” A final line to Rika’s dependence on V’s unconditional love.

I REMEMBER/STRANGER THAN YOU DREAMT IT

V accepts loving Rika but sees more and more of Rika’s darkness. She lashes out.

Rika: “Damn you! You little prying pandora!” etc. Plenty examples of Rika’s verbal abuse.

“Stranger than you dreamt it, can you even dare to look or bear to think of me? This loathsome gargoyle who burns in hell but secretly, secretly...” Rika’s devil yadda yadda.

“Fear can turn to love, you’ll learn to see...”

PRIMA DONNA

Me: “Your public needs you.”

Also me: “We need you too!”

Ray: “Wouldn’t you rather have that precious little mint hair man?”

Me: “Saeran, no. The world, wants, you...”

POOR FOOL

Ray: “Poor fool he makes me laugh, hahahahaha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha HA ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ho...”

“TIme I tried to get a better, better half.” OUCH OUCH.

“Poor fool he doesn’t know... If he knew the truth, he’d never, ever go.”

WHY HAVE YOU BROUGHT ME HERE?

MC: “Why have you brought me here [to the RFA]?”

V: “We can’t go back there... [She’ll] kill you. [Her] eyes will find us there [at Mint Eye]... If [she] has to kill a thousand men... [Rika] will kill and kill again.”

“My god who is this [woman]?” MC: “My god who [the fuck] is this [crazy ex of yours]?” V: “Who hunts to kill? I can’t escape from [her]. I never will.”

“[MC] I’ve been there, to [her] world of unending night. To a world where the daylight dissolves into darkness.”

V: “Yet [my ideals on loving this dark person] filled my spirit with a strange, sweet sound. In that night there was [painting I guess] in my mind. And through [that white canvas painting with love metaphor junk] my soul begain, to soar! I [loved] as I never [loved] before.”

MC: “What you [loved] was a dream and nothing more.”

ALL I ASK OF YOU

MC: “No more talk of darkness, forget these wide eyed fears. I’m here. No one can harm you. My words [that the game programmed for us] will warm and calm you... I’m here, with you, beside you. To guard you and to guide you.”

V: “All I want is freedom. A world with no more night, and you. Always beside me. To hold me and to hide me.”

MC: “Then say you’ll share with me one love one lifetime.” (meh...)

Both: “Love me, that’s all I ask of you.” (I think this one is a stretch given the timeline of V’s emotional development, but oh well, I think maybe the feelings were growing even if the words of love and declarations weren’t?)

Bonus if you have sympathy for Rika: the All I Ask of You reprise. Rika: “I gave you [the blank canvas you wanted]. Made your [art] take wing. And now, how you’ve repaid me. Denied me and betrayed me... You will curse the day you did not do! All that [Rika] asked of you!”

MASQUERADE

RFA member: “Dear, MC what a splendid party!” lmao

Everyone: “Masquerade! Paper faces on parade! Masquerade. Hide your face so the world will never find you...” This song is about how festive and happy things seem on the outside, but carry or ignore evils underneath.

WISHING YOU WERE SOMEHOW HERE AGAIN

V’s feelings about his mother...

“Wishing I could hear your voice again, knowing that I never would. Dreaming of you, won’t help me to do, all that you dreamed I could.” V’s dreams of painting are unrealized until the good ending (idk about that musician business).

“Too many years, fighting back tears, why can’t the past just die!?”

“Wishing you were somehow here again, knowing I must say goodbye. Try to forgive, teach me to live, give me the strength to try!” V’s rejection of his artistic urges, his mother’s suggestions and encouragement to let him explore art.

PAST THE POINT OF NO RETURN

Rika: “You have come here, in pursuit of your deepest urge, in pursuit of that wish which til now has been silent...”

V: “Past the point of no return, no going back now, our passion play has now at last begun.”

“When will the blood begin to race? The sleeping bud burst into bloom? When will the flames at last, consume us?”

Both: “The bridge has crossed, so stand and watch it burn. We’ve past the point of no return...” sobs loudly for Saeran.

Rika sings her All I Ask of You reprise and pleads her love to V once last time.

V and scooby gang unmask Rika and her crimes AND THE RFA IS DONE WITH HER GG.

#mystic messenger #phantom of the opera #analysis #low key shit post #mm v #mm rika #mm ray

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uselessnoise · 7 years

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Calling Donald Trump “Crazy” is Dangerous

... Instead, Consider His Actions as a Strategy and Act Accordingly Calling Donald Trump “crazy” is dangerous in that doing so is willfully ignoring his strategy. “Strategy?” you ask, “what strategy? He’s erratic, irate, and stupid!” Well, perhaps, but I urge the reader to think along the lines of a game.

In a game, be it a board or video game, should your opponent begin to play in a way you don’t understand, it is to your detriment to believe that they aren’t doing what they do on purpose. Often when people hear about AI beating humans at chess, they bring up the human element, the ability to do something unexpected. Then they’ll play against a computer and lose. Why? Because the computer isn’t capable of “surprise” - instead, the computer sees what its human opponent is doing as a legitimate strategy and undermines it and attacks it.

Regardless of whether or not Donald Trump is acting strategically or erratically, it is in the best interest of his opponents to consider it as strategy, to undermine it, and attack it.

As an exercise, let’s look at some of Trump’s behavior and ask ourselves what advantages they might offer Trump. Below I consider a few of these “strategies” and consider their purpose and how they attempt to achieve Trumps goals.

1. Random Action

Donald Trump acts seemingly at random to confuse and bewilder. Consider a game where you are presented with a handful of equally advantageous actions, but your opponent being able to guess your action makes that action much worse (see a game like Citadels). Openly and loudly declaring that you are selecting an option at random, and then doing so, makes it impossible for your opposition to guess which action you chose.

Donald Trump frequently acts like a wildcard, taking to twitter or outburst laden press conferences because doing so makes him look like a buffoon. It makes his strategy (relatively) impossible to guess. If his opposition knew what he was up to, they could guess and undermine his strategy. Is his most recent twitter tirade a new course of action, or just a lark? For Trump, it doesn’t matter, because now every tweet or speech is laden with confusion. Either answer has strategic advantage.

2. Distraction

This follows from #1. While his audience is unravelling the craziness of today’s shitpost-storm, the boring but important legislation is being pushed through Congress, the EPA is relaxing environmental protections, education is being shredded and gutted and so on. By being explosive and virulent, Donald Trump can pull attention to himself while his cronies can pull strings behind the scenes. These cronies of course, are extensions of the man himself - he did hire them, of course.

3. Aggression

Recently, when confronted about his approval rating in the recent “BeachGate” scandal, Chris Christie replied, “Poll numbers matter when you’re running for something. When you’re not running for something, they don’t matter a bit. And I don’t care.” That’s a lesson Trump knows quite well. Cite his approval rating all you like, it doesn’t matter until reelection.

Democrats often point to their oh-so-sacred representative democratic system as if it hasn’t failed them before, believing deep in their hearts that come 2020 a new president will be elected and this will all be a bad dream. Is Trump actually looking to get reelected? Maybe, but he doesn’t need to worry about that now. He can accomplish the most specifically by not thinking long-term. By sacrificing his approval rating, which is utterly meaningless, he can gain advantages where others would be cowardly and cautious.

In Magic: The Gathering there is a phrase people pass around - “The only life point that matters is the last one.” Because, in Magic, there is no half-loss or half-win, being at 1 life or 100 does not determine winner and loser. Only being at 0 life matters. A win is a win regardless of your final life total. By using this idea, Donald Trump need only narrowly avoid whatever his “lose” state is to gain advantage.

A famous Magic: The Gathering example is the infamous card “Necropotence”. For the uninitiated, having more cards in hand than your opponent signifies an incredible advantage. “Necropotence” causes a player to skip their draw step each turn, but in return that player can spend a life to draw a card - as many times as they like. Since a player begins the game with 20 life, they may spend 19 life to draw 19 cards, leaving them at 1 life, but with a massive advantage in terms of cards. With all these cards, the player with “Necropotence” can formulate a win. (fellow Magic players, forgive the simplification).

This is a card in Trump’s hand. Trump can do whatever he likes because he doesn’t care about his approval rating. This is a strategy the Democrats find too risky, and therefore aren’t willing to implement.

4. Redundancy

Some may have spotted my mention of a “lose” state for Trump and come to the conclusion that this means impeachment. Not quite. By having the White House full of Trump look-alikes - e.g. Pence - Trump is able to make himself nearly unimpeachable. Some Democrats have already pledged themselves to impeach Trump, impeach Pence, and just keep impeaching. But an impeachment takes time and energy. While Democrats will be busy impeaching, Republicans and the Right will be busy doing damage. Trump needn’t be in power for him to win, since each person below him is likely to just perform the same actions as Trump himself. By making his cabinet redundant - that is, basically all the same - Trump is able to make the process of impeachment many times more inefficient, many times more difficult, and eventually doomed to failure.

5. Fairness Instead of Justice

Post-Charlottesville, Trump condemned “both sides” - right and left - of the conflict. Trump also called the media’s treatment of himself and the protesters as “unfair.” The trick here is that fairness is not the same as justice.

Consider the case of four diners at a table, one starving, three that feel just fine. In the middle of the table are 100 peas. Fairness is to distribute 25 to each diner; justice is to give the starving person all the peas.

When Trump cites “fairness” he is actively spreading the hurt, redirecting as much of it as he can away from far-right groups while still being “fair.” In political games, this is a common strategy. “Equal” treatment often only means that one group is assigned more hurt or gain than another, with the semblance of this not being problematic at all.

This is why feminists are called “feminists” rather than “egalitarian” - because equality isn’t just. The emphasis is on female liberation rather than making all genders equal. Its why reparations for black communities are important but are labeled as “unfair.” Fairness and Justice are not the same, and Trump knows and exploits this fact while still being able to wave a flag of equality.

Sadly this is just the tip of the iceberg. I’m not the first and I won’t be the last to look at the strategies of the Trump administration. The left needs to visualize these and more to develop strategies to counteract them. The left must themselves become aggressive, seek justice over fairness, eliminate Trump’s smokescreen, and utilize the sovereignty of the people to take down the late-capitalist systems that let Trump come to power. Further, the left must collectively recognize that Trump is the symptom of late-capitalism and nothing more. 2020 is too late, by then the damage will be done and any Democrat candidate will only be able to sew back a few of Trump’s rips, but will still engage in rampant war, exploitation of labor, and the curse of privatization.

Trump is dangerous. Capitalism is dangerous. And ignoring their strategies is dangerous.

#politics #donald trump #game theory

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