Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changin' ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life
Landslide ~ Fleetwood Mac 🌾
Every time I think about how much Hange changed, from being giddy and full of life and happiness in season 1 to being quite serious, sad and overwhelmed in season 4, my heart breaks a little bit more. 🥺
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ROO!!
I know I dissappear for a bit lolz but I'm back now!
And if anyone was wondering where ive been (you probably don't care LMAO) I went to a mental hospital :(
But anyways!!
I'm in desperate need of levi cuddles, I need him to lay his head between my thighs and let me play with his hair🙏🙏
Hiii sweets! I’m glad you’re back and ofc I care!!! I hope you’re doing okay now <3
Omgomg Levi cuddles like this are the best!!! It’s also really good when he’s ‘busy’ with some gaming tournament or something similar- his head resting between your thighs he’s tapping away on his phone while you run your fingers through his hair and chat about your day. He’ll answer here and there or ask about something too, so you know he really is listening!!
And it helps him relax too, if he loses he’ll toss his head back against your tummy and grumble about the game being stupid!! Just bop him on the nose lolol it’ll shock him enough he’ll stop grumbling and lean into your touch some more. Almost purring when you gently scrape your nails over his scalp.
It’s definitely his favorite way to cuddle too and Levi will actually ask to do it, or place himself there. Grabbing your thighs and placing them on his shoulders, grabbing your hand and placing it on his head without a word. It just means he’s had a bad day, or missed you. He needs the comfort just as much as you do and ofc you’ll give it to him <3
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“Are you okay?” Levi asks you.
“No.”
“I know, you don’t look it. What’s wrong?”
“Everything is wrong, Levi. I’m exhausted…I wonder what it’s like to have a brain that functions the way it’s supposed to.”
His eyebrows furrow slightly. “Your brain is fine.”
“But that’s the thing, it’s not!” You say exasperatingly. “It’s wired differently and so it makes everything more difficult. I switch between three modes: Not wanting to exist, Surviving, and Beyond Surviving. Guess how much time I spend in each mode?”
Levi doesn’t say anything in response. His expression shows more concern than confusion this time.
“Fine, I’ll tell you. Most of my time is spent surviving. Some of my time is spent not wanting to exist. And just a little of my time is spent beyond suriving…what kind of life is that?”
Levi’s eyes look at you with sadness. “Not much of one, to be honest…but it’s yours and you only have one.” He counters.
“Well, I don’t even know if I want it half of the time. Y’know, someone told me that life is basically climbing mountains. You climb a mountain, which represents a challenge or obstacle, once you get to the top you enjoy the view for a moment…then you climb back down and do the same thing all over again. Rinse and repeat.”
Levi seems to identify with what you’re saying and he knows you’re frustrated right now but he needs to keep you from spiraling. He’s not letting you give up. That’s not the way. “It’s what we have to do, Y/N.” He says gently.
“And what if I don’t want to do anything? What if I don’t want to climb fucking mountains? What if I don’t want to constantly be challenged and given obstacles? What if I just want to sit at the top of the mountain and just be?”
Levi knows these feelings all too well…he’s wrestled with them a few times throughout his life but he’s continued to push through because that’s what you just do. And you’re going to do the same even if he has to do the pushing for you. You snap Levi out of his thoughts with your next statement.
“It would be so much easier if I just…”
“Stop.”
“But-“
“Stop.” He repeats sternly, his steel eyes boring into yours.
You grunt angrily. “You’re not even real, Levi!” You yell out at him. You’re not angry with him. You’re angry at the world, angry for the universe and your parents for putting you in this predicament, angry for placing you into a world that doesn’t accommodate you. “You are a 2-dimensional character I use to cope. There’s no way for you to actually soothe or help me. You. Are. Fictional.”
Your words don’t seem to phase him. He shrugs. “I’m real enough.”
“What does that even mean?”
“I’m real enough to you. Y/N. You are the one who brings me to life. You are the one who decides how real I should be. What does it matter if I’m not a real person?”
“It’s silly.”
“Who says it’s silly?”
“I don’t know, a bunch of people.”
“Well, fuck all of those people then. Just fuck them.” He states as if it’s obvious.
You sigh. “It doesn’t work that way, Levi…”
“So make it work that way. No one else is keeping you alive but yourself.”
“And you…” You say softly.
Levi shakes his head. “I don’t do anything. Like I said before, you’re the one who does the all the heavy lifting. I exist because you want me to. I function the way I do because you want me to.”
“So I control you?”
Levi rolls his eyes at that. “Don’t be a brat. What I’m saying is I’m just an outlet for you.”
You pause, thinking of his words. He’s not wrong. He’s just a character but he’s also not just a character because of you. “I wish you were real.” You admit sadly.
“I wish I were real too…for you.” He sighs as he runs a hand through his raven hair. “But it doesn’t matter if I’m real or not. I still occupy your brain. I still make you happy, that’s all that matters. As long as you let me live in your mind, I’m always going to be here for you.
You nod, not saying anything further.
“Okay?” He asks.
“Okay.”
“Good.”
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A fall day with Levi
The air outside has a bite to it but it smells so fresh and crisp. You bundle in your warmest coat, walking through all the fall trees with Levi by your side. He notices your cheeks and nose getting red and he pulls his wool scarf off and wraps it around your neck, giving you a kiss on your forehead.
Hand in hand you walk, time doesn’t matter and all you can think about is being with him. His presence calms you, his voice soothes you, and the small circles his thumb leaves on your hand feels so reassuring and sweet. You both don’t even have to say much, just each others company is enough.
He takes you to the Saturday market, you basically just follow him around while he buys all the things he needs to make you dinner that night. He loves to cook for you, his own little way of showing you his love.
Once home, he starts on dinner, and you basically have to beg him to let you help. He will huff but eventually nod his head for you to come chop some veggies while he prepares everything else. Dinner turns out amazing (of course) and the two of you just stay sitting at the table just talking about your week.
Levi runs you a bath at the end of the day, putting in your favorite soaps and lighting all the candles, you sit in the tub leaning on the edge while he sits off to the side and listens to you rant about the upcoming week. He can’t hold back the small smile on his lips just listening to you talk.
How did you both get so lucky, to get to spend all your days together like this?
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Art I did during my break but don't wanna post on main but you know what. I like Levi and Richard (and Arienne the redhead).
Basically, Levi and Richard go to school together, Richard decides to go by the name Richard and the only person to without question go along with "I'm a boy now" is Levi who calls him Dick. And then gets into fist fights with boys that don't call him Richard. So Richard falls pretty much in love in school then his parents divorce and he moves away.
Many years later (10+) Richard meets Levi again and it's very much nothing grand. Levi overhears Richard introducing himself to someone and is like "lmao Dick? You work here now? Sucks to be you" and Richard is immediately 'I love him so much I hate myself for how easily I give up all dignity for him' but yeah. They work in different departments so Levi does more behind the scenes stuff while Richard talks to clients and is very social.
And their coworkers in both departments love Richard because he's such a nice guy and Levi's department hates Levi a lot cause he's an asshole. (then stuff happens that would require a tw blah blah blah) So after a month of Levi not being at work he returns and Richard immediately goes over to the department to check on him and he's just. Incredibly mellow. No cussing and no cockiness and worst of all, he's being called Richard which is very much not correct from Levi. So he points it out that no one else calls him Dick and if he had a problem with it he would have said something by now so hey, maybe don't suddenly change the entire friendship on your own. (So Levi texts him later to say "sorry for being a dick, Dick" and Richard is v happy and content with that turn out)
Richard is honestly tragically created out of spite for the fact I saw a name IRL and I know that the state that I live in would in fact NOT have someone that intentionally funny and trans so I have to make my own funny trans guy to fill the void.
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