#all my homies instead fuck with chain saws

[orchid-merryweather]

I have a home maintenance class in my school, and as review for the final the teacher is just going through all the old slides, so I got to see this gem again and share it with all four people here

[ohsocheesiness]

Played both Cyberpunk 2077 Phantom Liberty Endings

Both are super good in my opinion for V, Reed, and So Mi. Needed somewhere to post my thoughts.

My Natural Instinct

I did not trust So Mi at all, bro. Even from the beginning.. the thing with the chimera was suspect. Disappearing like that after I saved myers... idk bro. However, I do empathize with her circumstances. She's stuck somewhere where she's being abused. She's dying and she just wants to be free.

Don't trust Myers, but seemed the type to keep her end of the deal.

I didn't necessarily trust Reed either, but I believed in him. A man of principle who stuck by his team and country even if they did him dirty. I felt like So Mi only fake cared about me, but I felt like Reed truly did care about me and my life. He saw V as another of his comrads to protect. However, I knew it was his government that he'd unfortunately follow till his wheels deteriorated.

Following Reed

I believed that Reed 100% wanted to help So Mi escape. I told So Mi I only kind of trusted her and that I think Reed wants what's best for her.

Gameplay wise I think it's cool that following the FIA turned into a freaking horror survival game lmfao. I love the secret agent style shit in PL

Anyway, only in this ending do we learn that ROGUE AI are basically attacking her and using her as a fucking link to the physical world through the real net. She mentioned she felt like somebody was over her shoulder her whole time. It was THEM. I wonder what Alt would've had to say about it if I asked her tbh.

In the end though, there was a great moment with So Mi who was at her end. I had a save point and played out both instances if I killed her or if I let Reed take her. I don't really remember what my first instinct was to do... but after knowing both endings it would've been best just to kill her and give her freedom man. However, saving her gives us a bit more to Reed's character.

Reed is freaking depressed bro lmfao. He is the one keeping so mi in chains. He is the one locked in chains. He knows he's just a dog, enslaved to ideals he doesn't think truly matters, but it's all he has. The only thing he can do is lean into it, despite knowing it's flaws. "All that matters is that So Mi is still living." I think that's why Reed never comes suicide despite seeming so empty, he's strong enough to carry everything.. it's his duty even.

Ofc I accepted the offer to save my life, it made sense to me that they could really help and that Reed would do right by me.

FUCKING HURT ME that Johnny had to get destroyed so abruptly like that. I know he didn't want it. He accepted it though, his true death. Just Rogue and V being his last remnants of life in NC.

If you tell Reed thanks, he says something like "there's nothing to thank me for, V" and leaves, head hung down. Another life Reed took and ruined. Got So Mi on life support, enslaved by Myers, Alex killed, V some kind of wonky life so different than before. Coma for 2 years.

Also my Panam romance 💔💔💔💔 damnit! Panam is definitely the type to fucking be done with it cause she thinks I broke her heart but dang. Wish somebody would've went through my contacts and gave them the heads up 😐 but I LOVE what happened to Judy after this. She deserved the peace man. She's such a cool homie if you guys are platonic.

Following So Mi

I tried to play a lot more empathetic with So Mi and her circumstances, instead of just it being mutually beneficial. V was the only one who can understand what was happening to her.

& Since I played this second, I felt guilty asking her to use the black wall to hack shit and kill people while we were escaping from Hansen's spot. It's lowkey best to play this ending as a netrunner. You help So Mi a lot more directly.

So Mi is really just like V, kind of. She just wants to live, so she'll betray and lie to her friends and simply just have to feel bad about it afterwards. For the most part, V won't sell out to a corp, but So Mi kind of sold out her friends. Her character flaw I guess.

This is also the only ending where a diologue option will tell you MR BLUE EYES is the one who contacted her for NUSA info and hooked her up with a deal to get to the moon! This is the only time i remember hearing about him before you do the Sun ending. He definitely a major player in the next game and there's something he's trying to do involving space. Which is why i assume he sends V on a mission to the crystal palace.

Anyway, So Mi eventually reveals that she was lying to me the whole time. She knew it was only a one use kind of deal.... prick. But I told her I would've helped her anyway if she just told me.. which maybe I would've tbh.

I carried her to the rocket thing. Reed was waiting for you. You two are at odds now and he means business. He lowkey tries to butter you up about protecting So Mi, but call him on his bullshit. Then he switches up, he wants to take care in to answer for her crimes. I said I didn't want to have to shoot him. He said "neither do i" 🥹 but yea I popped his ass after he gave me no choice. In a certain regard I was happy he found peace. Killing reed is the best thing to do in this ending 100%

You hook So Mi in the rocket to the moon and talk with Johnny as you two watch her go into space. Real.

Wait long enough you get a mysterious message to go find a package. The package has evidence that So Mi is alive on the moon. Very cool! She lives in this ending. And she's free. I was actually super happy about that tbh.

Also with this ending, Alex lives. PL tried to give you a relationship with her... in the ending where she dies I was sad about it but got over it. In this ending where she lives you get another chance to chat with her. She calls you up to the bar and basically wants to ask about Reed's last moments and to say goodbye. I really liked Alex's character and appreciated this goodbye.

A while after this, you get a postcard on your megabuilding apartment door from Morocco. Alex is free too. A very good ending. Now it's up to V to find out how to survive (lol)

Which is better?

You get to see into So Mi's past with the first ending. First hand. You get some conversations with Reed that give him more depth, but So Mi either dies or might as well have died. Reed lives on avoiding his very clear regret, but may have found purpose. If you choose to take the help here V becoming just another face in the crowd... a bit of a shame if you played into the 'become a night city legend' but kind of deep and real considering now he has a new life, but had to go through a lot and lose a lot on the way.

With the second ending, Alex and So Mi live & them and Reed are free from being dogs to the NUSA government. You get your farewells... at least somebody gets a happy ending. With this, you also get your farewell with Johnny in one of the base endings. You can digest the weight of a life and choosing your own way to go. There's some moments in this, the conversations inbetween, in big fights, hand in hand with So Mi that make this worth while. Digesting it all with Johnny means a lot too.

So idk

[with-paint]

Hey Beautiful

Rating: Teen and up

Pairing: Carl Gallagher x fem!reader

Word Count: 1,388

Summary: Carl goes to buy Nick a bike and decideds this is the perfect time to make your life hell. Set in 6x04

Warnings: lots of swearing, “that’s Carl, he used to be white”, Nick being iconic as always

A/N: I’ve never written for Carl or for anything in Shameless so like go easy on me. Pls

You sat behind the counter with your head propped up on your hand. Lazily looking down on your phone and swiping through your Instagram feed.

The little bell over the door chimed and you looked up, slightly irritated that now you had to talk with someone. Probably some dad with his fucking kid, buying his “little champ” his first bike. Ever since those rich Northsiders started crawling in, business at the bike store your dad owned had been good. On the downside, if you had to suffer through a story about how amazing training wheels were going, you were going to commit homicide.

To your surprise a kid around your age swaggered into the store. Well more like trying to swagger. The short white kid with light brown hair in cornrows tried very hard. You glanced at his hair again. The highlights in the brown could be a dark blonde really. This fucker was a basically a blonde hair, blue eyed, midget and he was trying to act all tough. You rolled your eyes and looked back at your phone, already nauseous from this interaction.

“Shit if I knew this is what waited for me, I would’ve come in earlier. What’s your name, beautiful?” He said. You closed your eyes and counted to five before opening them and giving him a blank look.

“You here for anything or are you going to waste my time?” You drawled, crossing your arms and looking out the window. A very tall dark skinned man stood outside the store. Fiddling with the handles of a brown bike. His face didn’t reveal much, but his eyes were lit with excitement. You smiled softly at the sight and turned back to the kid in front of you.

He leaned against the counter and a smirk appeared on his mouth. “Oh I’m here for something, you took my heart and I want it back.”

You wanted to groan, but you stopped yourself and instead rolled your eyes. Your dad had a security camera pointed at you right now. If he saw you being rude to a customer you’d be in a world of trouble.

“Funny.” You deadpanned and rested your chin on your hand again. “That your friend outside? The bike’s $300.”

The kid, to his credit, didn’t even blink and slapped the money on the counter. Usually the prices scared off the idiots who were looking for an easy ride. You hated that you were slightly impressed. You eyed the money and raised an eyebrow to the kid.

“What just ‘cause I’m black means you're gonna refuse my money? Think all black people are criminals? Shit baby, I didn’t know you were like that.” He put a hand to his chest, acting offended. You couldn’t help yourself and let out a scoff. You reached for the money on the counter before the kid grabbed it back. You instead, put your hand on his and his stupid face moved into a wide grin.

“Yeah that’s what I like to see baby, knew you wanted me.”

“Shut the fuck up. And why are you acting so hard, you’re the whitest thing in here with that wannabe hair and those blue ass eyes.” You spat moving your hand off his like it was made of fire. To your surprise his shit eating grin only got wider. He opened his mouth to say something before the bell on the door chimed again.

His friend walked into the store. One of the bike handles clutched tightly in his hand, and a little kid holding his other. You wondered where the hell the kid came from. He looked to be about four and he smiled brightly at the idiot standing at the counter. You furrowed your eyebrows and looked between the three boys in the store.

“Ay Nick. Little homie.” The idiot in front of you called as he turned to look at the two. The two elder boys seemed to be having a silent conversation. Idiot turned back around and nodded.

“You got any really fancy locks?” He asked. He reached to his neck to fiddle with the gold chain sitting there. You were taken aback by the question and the lack of flirty attitude. Something about the earnest way he asked and the nervousness of his hands threw you off. Your eyes widened slightly as your brain tried to keep up with what was happening. It was as if this guy did a full 180. It was as if you were to admit you didn’t have any bike locks he would be crushed. And for what? He was so selfish he needed to protect his stupid bike that he made his friend lug around? And who was that kid? Why was he looking at this wannabe like he personally hung the moon in the sky?

“Uh yeah, you got a price range?” You asked finically regaining the ability to speak. You pushed back on the chair and tossed your phone on the counter. Moving swiftly to get out from behind it.

“Just give me the best you have. No one is taking Nick’s bike.”

You froze as your hand reached up to grab the Kryptonite Kryptolok from the top shelf. This was all for his friend? The kid was willing to lose $300 on a bike as well as blow $50 on a bike lock? All for his friend? He looked that concerned over the safety of a stupid bike, because his friend wanted it?

You blinked a few times and grabbed the lock. You tossed it to Nick who caught it. His expression never changed from the blank on his face, but he nodded to you. You took that to mean he was happy. You could feel the guy's eyes watching you from the counter. Never leaving your figure as you moved to grab the lock and now walking back. You cleared your throat and slid back behind the counter. Not looking him in the eyes.

You could tell how much this bike meant to Nick. Could see that this was the most important thing. You didn’t know anything about Nick, you sure as hell couldn’t drop $350 on a ride. The fact that his friend did it so easily, without any care, without any fucking hesitation made a blush start to creep up onto your cheeks.

“That’ll be $350. That all?” You said trying to recapture that hardass voice you had earlier. You looked down at the counter and fiddled with your phone that was lying there. You didn’t want to look at him. Didn’t want him to see what his actions did to you. He was glad to spend that much to make his friend happy and that made your heart stutter. He may look like an idiot in that ghetto getup, but his actions were something you couldn’t ignore. You bit the bullet finally and risked looking up at him.

He smiled this time. An actual smile. Not that stupid cocky grin or that dumbass smirk, a cute little smile. You shook your head to clear the word ‘cute’ from your mind. He slid the money he put down earlier across the counter and dropped another hundred on top.

“Keep the change beautiful.”

Him and his friend turned to go before you did the most embarrassing thing possible.

You called him back.

He froze and his black puffy jacket shifted as he turned to look back at you. That stupid smirk was back on his face and you hated that you thought it looked good on him. You took a leftover receipt off the counter, jotted your number on it, crumpled it into a ball, and tossed it at him.

“Text me sometime, tough guy.” You teased as he bent to pick up the paper ball. He laughed as he tossed it between his hands. He shoved the ball in his pocket, fiddled with his chain and smiled at you.

With a wink he pushed open the door and called back to you, “See you around beautiful.” And with that Nick, the kid, and him left your store and made their way out of sight.

It wasn’t until later when your phone buzzed in your pocket did the grin on your face finally ease up, if only a little.

Hey beautiful. The name’s Carl

[1990jeevas]

I love it when people talk about things they're passionate about, tell me something cool!! Anything you want, just something you find interesting or want to talk about :D

hello anon my beloved, I am in a bad mood so you will be receiving a passionate, yet lowkey of pissy rant about why villainizing bakugou makes me wanna vomit and its NOT just because I'm a dumbass kinnie :)

tws: child abuse (emotional and physical), near death expierences, bullying, kidnapping, suffocation, lots of trauma in general tbh. if you've seen bnha then basically just keep all the general triggering plot stuff in mind incase i missed any warnings

also, note: I havent caught up on bnha in a minute, I'm at like the start of the war arc but I barely remember shit there tbh so like. probs missing new stuff. also bnha spoiler warnings lol

so, for starters, the homie bakugou has like,, a good handful of issues that come from his childhood that explain why he's an ass. he was always praised and never actually reprimanded for being a twat which led to him having a huge ego that ended up fucking him over majorly. this ego was something that his mother acknowledged him having, but literally didnt try to fix it with anything other than violence. see here:

like, instead of trying to help him, she hits and insults him, which is probably what led to his weird inferiority/superiority complex. being constantly told by others that you're outstanding and one day you'll be a top hero because you're rude and aggressive and then going home and being hit by your mother for those exact same behaviors is bound to fucking confuse a child.

so like, now that we've established that its definetly canon that his mother (parents? I think he said parents at some point but masaru doesn't seem like the type so 🤷) hits him though we don't know how much or how often (though if bakugou was as much of a little shit back then ((which as far as we've seen- he was)) then it was probably often), lets talk about how regardless of all that 1) hitting your kids as "discipline" not only doesn't work but is abusive lol like idc if it's spanking/popping them on the mouth for talking shit, slapping them across the face "on occasion", etc. shits not okay 2) hitting your kids!!!! does not work!!!!!!!! it is literally PROVEN not to work!!!!!!!! hitting a child who has done something wrong doesnt teach them to stop doing something it teaches them to be scared of you, which will cause the child to withdraw, removing part of their support system (assuming said abusive parents would even offer that up) and will most likely lead to them thinking they're a bad person, not that their actions were bad, which are two different things. so, ya know, that would clearly have an effect on a kid. like, as someone with a mother who reminds me all too much of mitsuki: I have acted like a complete shitbag and taken my anger out on people to feel better in the past because of the way my mother treated me. though it was nowhere near what bakugou did, I still know first fucking hand what a mother hitting and insulting her child will do, especially if they have no proper outlet for that (friends, a safe place to vent) which bakugou never fucking had.

theres also the fact that just talking to your kid the way mitsuki does (saying it's his fault he was kidnapped because he's weak, all while hitting him) is not??? okay?????? ive seen people arguing that this was just a joke in poor taste but like her son was KIDNAPPED and even if it was a "joke" there's literally NO WAY that would EVER?? BE FUNNY??????? she just sounds like the kind of parent who at the very least says shit without thinking that would traumatize bakugou (because being told right after being kidnapped it's your fucking fault by your mother is absolutely traumatizing) but it comes across as her being emotionally abusive.

mitsukis character as a whole comes across as a shitty mom who doesn't realize she's a shitty mom and thinks bakugou being an ass isn't at least partially her fault even though she's admitted to realizing he has always had an ego problem and doing nothing to fix it except for hitting and yelling which obviously did nothing but make him just as loud and violent as she is.

this is obviously not the entire reason why he's a dick but he was never properly taught that the shit he was doing wasn't okay and people not stopping it and/or praising him endlessly even tho he was a bully is basically the same as encouraging it, thank you very much.

moving on from that, let's talk about bakugous other traumas and how he naturally responds to them. hint: it's with either full blown panic or a fight response (verbal or physical, though usually physical. also sometimes it's the panic followed by the fight response.)

so far in bnha (keep in mind that I am not caught up, I've only read up to the beginning of the war arc and i barely remember those bits so) bakugou has...

nearly died via sludge villain (he was unable to move and was being suffocated to death- keep this in mind)

lost for the first time ever and against deku of all people (this nearly sent him into a full blown panic attack, likely because of that sexy little inferiority/superiority complex combo. think of this as like. gifted kid burnout lite. he has always been the best of the best and now suddenly he is being beaten by somebody who has always been weaker than him, which immediately makes him start thinking he was never actually that good, he's actually a fucking failure, a goddamn fraud)

won the sports festival by default (bakugou counts this as yet another failure because todoroki didnt try his best. had bakugou lost to todoroki full strength, he would've taken 2nd place with a bit of bitching, but he still wouldve taken it rather than refuse the medal as it would be a reminder that he failed. instead of accepting that like UA shouldve, the staff chained and muzzled him on live television and then had all might, his fucking idol, force the medal into his mouth. remember the sludge villain incident and how he couldnt move and was suffocating to death? yeah.)

been kidnapped because of the way he reacted to winning during the sports festival (he was aggressive and tried to refuse the medal because he felt he didnt deserve it and was then retraumatized by being chained up and muzzled. his "villainous attitude" was a fucking trauma response, do not tell me otherwise)

was then chained up once again by the LOV after being kidnapped,,, do we see the "retraumatize bkg" theme yet?

"ended all might" (he literally blames himself for all mights retirement because had he just not have been weak, all might wouldve had more time, right?)

my point with all of these is that bakugou has been severely traumatized and has then had his trauma responses (aggression, fight) used to further demonize him. not all people with trauma react the fucking same and the way the fandom just refuses to acknowledge anger as a valid form of trauma response is gross as hell.

moving away from that topic, bakugou has literally never had any actual friends, they all just used him and didn't care about him which absolutely will fuck up a kid, especially one who already has all that other shit going on. bakugou deadass never had a support system or people to help him grow as a person, let alone properly work through his fucking emotions so it's not surprising that he would take out his bullshit on the one person who tried to help him especially considering he saw dekus actions as him thinking he was weak. bakugou was raised to not seek help, he thought somebody strong shouldnt ever need it, so for somebody like deku (who bakugou percieved as weak and helpless already) to offer up help? deku must obviously think bakugou is even weaker than him, what other explanation could their possibly be!

speaking of which, there's his heaps of insecurities that he basically hid by being a twat and bullying others for most of his life. kid was so insecure he bullied deku for fucking years cause he thought deku looked down on him, thought he was better than him, etc. and that only got worse bc his idol then decided to take deku in, train him and even give him his quirk. there's probably some shit im missing but still he's got issues and always has had issues. that being said, he's actually improving and working them out now which is what makes him a really good, interesting character. it's also nice to see a character who is a dick without some tragic backstory (like his backstory is sad but its not the classic "my family was fucking slaughtered and i turned into a raging bitch who murders people" type shit) bc that rarely happens and it's like most assholes don't actually have a story like that they're just assholes lol

now lets talk improvement! lil bitch has been getting better since he got into UA and im so happy abt it!! he had a rough start what with deku suddenly having a quirk and all but like he is really improving now and it highkey shows that bakugou just mostly needed people who 1) didn't constantly praise him and actually criticized him instead 2) actually fucking punished him doing stupid shit and 3) some motherfucking friends

Since going to UA he's gotten actually feedback from teachers about his weaknesses and how to get stronger, he's lost against others, hes been told he has a shit attitude and is a dick, told he should be nicer and leave deku alone, etc etc. He hasn't gotten in trouble too much with teachers but others give him shit for what he does and aizawa has punished him too, while still acknowledging that bakugou is an amazing and dedicated student, something which no one else had done up til that point. and uh???? homie actually has friends who like,,, don't use him and also call him out when he's a dick. like specifically kirishima has done this shit and him and bakugous relationship is clearly very healthy and beneficial for the both of them. makes me feel all happy n shit, ya know

bottom line is: while it is absolutely valid to dislike or even hate bakugou because he is a massively flawed person who has been very cruel to others, villainizing him for the way he acts which in large part seems to be from a lack of guidance, a shitty mother and heavy amounts of trauma, is fucking awful. his actions cannot be fucking excused, he needs to apologize and continue to grow, but he is also a fucking teenager, who is just now being told that the way he acts is unacceptable by people who dont fucking abuse him (and I swear to god if any people who think mitsuki isnt abusive interact with this fucking post I will fullstop hardblock you, I do not fucking care) and actually treat him like a normal person instead of some prodigy child or someone who needs to be fixed.

people are free to debate my points or whatever bc I know some of this stuff is up to interpretation but like. dni if you're just here to say you hate bakugou for xyz reason or that he's irredeemable. also especially dni if you compare him to fucking endeavor yall bitches make me gag.

anyways thxs for the ask anon <33 sorry this is a kinda messy info dump lol

[calypsoff]

Twenty Seven.

Rolling my eyes hard while on FaceTime to Chris, you know what why is the man I love, also is the love of my life and I adore him so much, but he is so fucking stubborn. He has his moments where he will leave his ego at the door where he will obey me and what I say and then the next day he will refuse to hear me out or say I am being judgemental and I need to listen to what I am saying to him, it’s always my way, it never is anyways. But I swear he does shit and doesn’t think of the bigger picture at all “you got a face on with me?” So he says “not so much, you could be here with me in Cali but instead you’re there in Virginia about to do something dumb, it’s not even your child to care” I want to tell him no, I want to say to him if you love me don’t go but I know it will fall on deaf ears. I will look like the nasty one and that I look insecure when I don’t “exactly, show my face and go” I sniggered “that is the issue, you know why Chris. Do it, go. I am busy anyways, I think you need a lesson” rubbing my forehead “you are doing the most for nothing, it’s really nothing. But anyways I’m going to go and look pretty” annoying asshole “ok bye” disconnecting the call before he could say anything more, he just wants to annoy me “why does he purposely go out of his way to be an asshole!” I shouted “baby you could have said no, it’s easy” Mel added hearing the whole conversation, this is whole other issue. I don’t like how we are all dating people in the same circle, if shit goes wrong it will affect us “you don’t know Chris like I do, but you know what. Let him go, he hasn’t had the blogs be on his ass, he doesn’t know what it is like being famous and he will soon find out, I want him too. I’m going to rehearsal and ignoring him when he’s getting tagged in false claims, I don’t care for them. I just didn’t want the mess but let him, he will be calling me up saying I didn’t do anything. Let it happen Mel, who am I to hide him when he doesn’t want it from me, but I am angry, and until further notice I don’t want to know” shaking my head, he is going to get a nasty wake up call.

I enjoyed Virginia a lot, I loved how homie it was. I enjoyed my time with Chris, and I loved it all. It was a real good time away to be honest, it was my home when I was doing the exchange programme, I loved that his family treated me well and I feel Chris and I are closer than ever. But he just needs to stop trying to hear his own voice, like he doesn’t need to go but he will. And I can’t wait to hear him call me and say I didn’t do anything when they are dragging him, me. I have become immune to it, Chris will get a lesson in this “you have a face like thunder, the dancers are going to be shook” Mel said through her laughter “oh I’m not angry, I was just thinking. But how is you and Barry getting on? Is he less stubborn than Chris? Does he actually listen” Mel chuckled, she is laughing but I’m not, I hate when Chris is like this. Tries to be the man of our home, he knows damn well he will be crying to me “he’s a nerd, like Chris and I like that about him. He’s easy going, and we talk every day. He said that if we do end up being together and it works out well enough that he would move here and I’m like nigga already!? I mean I am not whipped at all but he’s nice, and easy going” I sighed out “oh brother, now why can’t Chris be this way” my man is a whole pain “because he likes to be the man of the house, I don’t know. Something he will get over but I’m excited” I’m scared of this whole relationship with friends’ things, I am just not sure of what to make of it. I feel like we will be judging each other, maybe that’s me because Chris is being a pain, but I hope it’s not what I assume it will be, I want better for me, for him, for us to be honest.

Robyn is cute, like she left me her gold chain. I mean it’s cute and small, but she left it behind, I think she did, or she purposely left it here, but I am wearing it anyways. Putting my snapback backwards, I wore the chain anyways, but I am just wearing the minimum, I wore white tee and grey sweatpants. I am just going to go to the thing and then leave, I am there for the free food like the fuck. It’s not even that deep, like I don’t understand why it’s a big thing, I mean I get it but it’s nothing. Go there and leave, that is it. I am late anyways, I told him I am going to go there late because I don’t want to be there all day. They are having the reveal at a hall, so I will turn up and then leave. I showed my face, I am there for my nigga so does it matter. Closing my bedroom door and making my way down the steps “where are you going?” Desean asked me “out, I will be back. Dad, I am borrowing the car!” I shouted; I been borrowing the car every day since being here. I need to get my own car; this is my list for my family. A new car for them, a new home. A bigger one anyways, they deserve it “when will you be back?” my dad asked “I won’t be long, I am going to see TJ” my dad nodded his head “uh, isn’t it Seiko gender party today? I saw someone post a little something about it” nodding my head “anyways, bye” I don’t need to hear anyone speak on this, I know what I am doing. This is my life, I need to take a hold of it in a way of making big money, I need to get into that life. And I think California, well me being in California will do me good. I need that in my life, I need to win big for me and my family and also Robyn, I need to do it for her too.

Locking my car door and making my way to the hall, these Jordan’s I have on right now are brand new, I just bought them today and these sweatpants is what Drake gave me from his clothing line, dope. I ain’t dressed up, I ain’t even shaved so if anyone thinks I made the effort then they lying as fuck. Licking my top lip pulling open the door to the place, I told TJ I am coming, and he came to meet me “I am so fucking happy to see you my brother” TJ hugged me “nigga got a whole fucking clown suit on” Barry snorted laughing “I had to look the part, I got the Burberry tie on. Man, my momma is so happy about this. I hate it” moving back from the hug and dapping Barry “well of course you ain’t going to be happy, shit was a mistake” I chuckled “is Seiko brother’s here?” not like I care “mhmm yeah, they trying to beef me up but whatever” of course “I am hungry, where the food at. There better be chicken wings” rubbing my stomach “nigga I paid half, I made sure there was. We wait on you so come. We can get some alcohol and food” nodding my head, least they waited on me. I don’t care for anyone, just my brother’s.

Licking my fingers as I placed the paper plate down, I am getting weird looks from people I don’t know “little rat, why you keep coming here?” TJ said to his sister “can I get a picture with you?” wiping my hands on my sweatpants “who?” I asked “you” she pointed “me!?” I spat half confused “can I? I want to tell my friends that I know you because you date Rihanna!” she half shouted, I chuckled “who is Rihanna? I don’t date Rihanna ma, see. The pictures you see they are photoshopped. I am single” I lied, but she doesn’t believe me. She seems more disappointed that I even lied to her, she looked down at her phone “my sister is pain bro, like she into this celebrity shit. Like live you damn life “look” she patted my lap, turning to her “oh wow, who is that woman?” she out here pulling out receipts of Robyn and I “stop lying, can I please have a picture with you. You’re super famous now” she is tripping “I am not famous, my god. It’s me Chris! I ain’t had this before with you” TJ nudged me “just do it bro so we can get rid of her” taking in a deep breath “fine, come here” waving her over “TJ take it” she passed her his phone and she openly sat in my lap, I ain’t into this picture thing “you look so annoyed, smile for me. Quick” I grinned at the camera “now go away! Leave us alone, dang” that is the weirdest shit to happen to me today.

Sitting back in my seat as TJ made his way to his baby mother, I find this hilarious to me. I know this nigga hates this, but he is putting on a front, I am so happy it wasn’t me. Chewing on my bottom, Seiko and I eyes met and she is just blatantly staring at me in a room full of people, I mean I wish she looked away, but I can tell she regrets things, she looked away as she should. Clearing my throat looking away laughing to myself “you look well Chris” looking to the side of me “I do? You look well too Kristie” moving my arm from the chair “you’re rather the celebrity in this joint, kind of knocked my best friend off her pedestal” moving my chair away from her as she sat down “I don’t bite, I mean you should know that” rubbing my hands against my sweatpants “I ain’t do shit, I come here to support my friend” there is one thing, I never fucked ugly bitches and I love that for me “likewise, she does love you and still does” I sniggered “right, and having sex with my best friend made that right” she pointed at me “you sir are a hypocrite, you fucked all her friends” shaking my head “she was right there, y’all was ok with it. She knew it was wrong from jump with TJ. She knew that” is this girl being real right now “I never liked her like that anyways, that is the point. I am happier, away from her” Kristie laughed “who wouldn’t be dating Rihanna? She is beautiful and rich, you tell me Chris did you purposely take her there to get with Rihanna?” shaking my head “I didn’t think Rihanna would even remember me like that, I love her so much and I don’t pass around that word much so you can’t say it’s like that when it’s not. Nothing to do with being rich, she is my childhood sweetheart” I don’t care, I will tell the whole world “that sent my friend a shut up letter, Seiko loves you still. I say good riddance, she says she lost but you look well. Better then I last saw you naked” she winked at me “it’s the tan” she got up from her seat “I suppose” watching her walk off, now I should have dated her between her and Seiko.

I clapped seeing that my friend is having a son, happy for him. I think if he was having a girl he would be even more depressed “are you dating Rihanna? You’re the guy she is dating” this girl pointed me out, I stopped clapping “huh, what?” I said all confused “you’re like the guy Rihanna is dating, she was in Virginia and she was at her old school, oh my god you are actually him. I follow him!” she shouted “I am just a regular dude” I put my hands up, in my defence I am “can we like take a picture with you? You are literally the sexiest light skinned nigga. I get why she would date you” I chuckled “I will pass on the photos” I walked by them “congratulations brother, a boy” dapping TJ “I am so happy, like I don’t know what I would do with a girl. Now you need to have a boy, then Barry we all going to have a day care” shaking my head laughing “you need to get Rih pregnant, on god” I shushed him “relax on that, she busy now. But I am happy for you” hugging him “thank you” I know he appreciates it “nice seeing you here” Seiko spoke to me, I stepped back keeping my distance “for TJ, I am going to see to Barry” dapping TJ walking off.

Barry is eating again “people are weird here, they all are speaking on Rihanna and I am her boyfriend. I am but the fuck. I am just a regular dude” Barry is stuffing his face “that makes you famous by affiliation now Chris, you famous” furrowing my eyebrows “that is bullshit, anyways. Kristie came up to me. Started speaking on Seiko still in love with me and shit. This is why I ran here but I think it’s my time to go” I think I do “can we talk?” Seiko is right there “about what? There is nothing to talk about” Barry stood next to me, I ain’t moving anywhere with her “did you go to her concert to get back with her, I hate myself. She was laughing at me all that time when she took you from me” taking in a deep breath “I was never yours, yes I was with you. I dated you but it really meant nothing when I always loved her, I did. I wish you let me go, take off my pictures. Move on, so you can be happier in yourself also. I came here for TJ, not to see you. I am going Barry, good luck with that” I pointed at her bump as I walked off, all I know is that I am in my city but people are acting mad weird now with this Rihanna shit and I want to run home.

[hellsbellschime]

I'm still not in the mood to see it. You are the first person that didn't liked it , everyone I know is like 'YOU HAVE TO WATCH IT. NOW'. What did you find wrong? (I don't mind spoilers)

Holy fuck sit the fuck back homie because there is not one thing I liked about that movie and the more I’m thinking about it the more that I hate it. 

I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen something this on the nose

Like in order to establish OH MY GOD HE’S A LUNATIC in the first few minutes they show him in a white room banging his head on the window

He’s supposed to be delusional which they use as an excuse to write things in the shittiest way imaginable i.e. the most on the nose dialog you’ve ever seen to explain what the fuck is happening or including scenes that make absolutely no sense and have nothing to do with anything that they never explain because THIS GUY’S CRAZY

The representation of people with mental illness is horrific

The representation of people who have been abused is horrific

The representation of people who have been adopted is horrific

Arthur is like repeatedly beaten up by people really violently for no real reason?

He has this neurological condition that makes him laugh hysterically at inappropriate times SO YOU CAN IMAGINE HOW THAT GOES

At one point he murders people in the most hilariously over the top way and it’s so weird

One of his coworkers gives him a gun as a way to set him up to be fired from their clown agency because that’s a thing that makes sense?

Arthur brings the gun to a children’s cancer ward when he’s giving a performance and he drops the gun so this weird plot to get him fired actually does work?

When Arthur gets fired he’s on the phone in a phone booth and once again bashes his head into the glass hard enough to shatter it BECAUSE IN CASE YOU DIDN’T KNOW HE’S CRAZY

He gives his non disabled mom a sponge bath and sleeps in the same bed as her?

At one point he throws all of his shit in the refrigerator on to his kitchen floor and just gets into the refrigerator, and then they cut to him just in his bed chilling because I guess WE REALLY NEED TO KNOW HE’S CRAZY

His mom tells him that Thomas Wayne is his father and he goes to Wayne Manor and has a run in with Bruce and Alfred and in this world Alfred is like super jacked but nearly gets choked out by a 100lb Joaquin Phoenix

He later confronts Thomas Wayne in the bathroom of a fancy movie theater and after Thomas explains that Arthur is actually adopted and his mom is also WITH A CAPITAL C CRAZY Thomas just punches him in the face?

He idolizes this Jay Leno style talk show host and is an aspiring comedian, and someone records him bombing at an open mic and they play it on the fake Leno show to make fun of him and like don’t even make jokes about it, it’s just hahahahaha let’s laugh at the loser

He goes on this show later in full clown makeup and confesses to killing three yuppie dudes on the subway on live TV and instead of stopping the interview the Jay Leno character just keeps interviewing him and gets pretty combative

And then SPOILER ALERT Arthur shoots him in the face on live TV

This character is played by Robert DeNiro, who played Travis Bickle in Taxi Driver, who was the obvious inspiration for Arthur, IN CASE YOU DIDN’T GET THE REFERENCE

There is a dwarf who worked at the clown agency, and after Arthur kills his own mother he and the dude who set him up come to see if Arthur is doing okay and he lets them in and locks the door with a chain lock

Arthur unsurprisingly kills the dude who set him up by stabbing him in the face with scissors and caving his head in 

Arthur doesn’t want to kill the dwarf man so he lets him go, but the dwarf man can’t reach the lock so Arthur let him out, and the only apparent purpose of this gag is HAHAHAHA DWARF MAN

The killer clown becomes some kind of folk hero and symbol of the class stratification in Gotham

So everyone riots in clown makeup and identical clown masks

Arthur is arrested after committing murder on live TV

He’s taken into custody but the cop car he’s in gets hit by an ambulance that has been stolen by the rioting clowns

When he’s recognized they pull him out of the car and like lay his unconscious body on top of it, and when he wakes up he stands up and they’re all like cheering for him

Because of the accident he’s bleeding in the mouth, and he puts his fingers in his mouth and smears the blood on his face into a clown smile

It cuts to him in the mental asylum laughing, and the lady who’s talking to him asks what’s so funny, and he’s just like OH YOU WOULDN’T GET IT

And then it cuts to him walking out of the room but his footprints are bloody, implying that he killed her or something?

And end movie

AND THIS IS JUST ALL OF THE AWFULNESS THAT I CAN THINK OF OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD. I honestly can’t think of a dumber, weirder, more unpleasant movie that I’ve seen in the past few years, I’m fucking astounded that so many people love it so much. And I saw it with my mom and she was similarly disgruntled about it.

[istheresomebodywhocanimagine]

Train Kept a Rollin’ (SMUT)

anonymous said: Do you write for Joe? If you do, could you write a smutty imagind where him and the t reader are having sex and he sits the reader down on his lap, so the readers back is against his chest and he fingers her from that angle? If not, thanks anyways!!! 🌸

(a/n: Horny Joe is prime Joe, and ben is a precious boi - also, speaking of Ben, THANK YOU for 1000+ notes on the ben smut. i’m genuinely floored at all of the love and attention that it got, and i appreciate y’alls support SO MUCH. stay thirsty homies)

Thank god for consumer demand for private train bunks. You were sure if someone hadn’t decided ‘Hm, let’s make individual rooms in these trains for longer/overnight trips,’ you’d be absolutely red from embarrassment at this exact moment. But you weren’t red from embarrassment at the moment, that’s for sure. Who you had to thank for private bunks, you had no idea – but God bless them.

Relatively spacey for the price, the rooms on the Amtrak train were something to be thankful for – otherwise, how would you get any privacy this week, with Ben visiting? He’d wanted to go to Disneyworld in Orlando with the two of you, Joe insisting on taking the train so you all wouldn’t have to worry about driving/paying for gas. Although it was almost 9 hours more of a ride that way, you were thankful that you weren’t putting that mileage on your car, or any rental car for that matter.

But having Ben over in the States with you was tiring. Yes, you loved their affectionate bromance, but it was hard sharing your boyfriend with a foreign sexpot. They were always practically on top of each other, flirting on Instagram even though they were next to each other, posting stories, giggling like idiots. And sure, Joe was just as affectionate with you, but you were growing tired of having to take fifty pictures of them so they could tag Gwilym in maybe two of them for shits and giggles.

You got to book tickets for the train. So, you booked two private rooms on the train, since it was almost a 24 hour ride. It gave Ben time to catch up on emails, enjoy the Eastern seaboard scenery, and relax. It went without saying what it provided you and Joe with – the moment the train had taken off, you’d jumped his bones without so much as a warning. Honestly, you’d never been more excited to even just make out with Joe. But obviously, things had gotten a bit more intense than that as the train moved away from NYC, and now here you were.

Straddling a pants-less Joe as you pulled his shirt off, the semi-soft interior of the Amtrak seats rubbed up against your knees. Joe had long since stripped you of anything but your panties and your bra, which was practically off anyways, flipped upside down on your torso probably 15 minutes ago so he had easy access to your breasts. Your cheeks were a splotchy red, a feverish lust coursing through your whole body as you pressed your lips to his again, the desperation from the last few nights manifesting itself in the eager way you palmed him through his boxers.

“Oh, Jesus,” he groaned softly, his hips bucking up towards your hand involuntarily as he separated his lips from yours. His hands came up to unclasp your bra, tossing it to the side when he was done, and within seconds he started pressing open-mouthed kisses to your neck, moving downwards with each one. As he did that, his hips still rutted against your hand needily, making it obvious to you that he was wanting more than just that kind of friction. When he spoke next, it was like he’d heard your thoughts. “It’s been too long, babe.”

A brief smile passed over your lips as he paused to mumble into the skin of your shoulder, but it erased itself quickly as he attached his lips to your nipple, sucking lightly. “Oh my god,” you breathed out, and you nearly forgot what your next move was until he took your hand and moved it up to the waistband of his boxers, his other hand resting directly on the small of your back.

Slipping your hand into his boxers, you ran your fingertip up the side of his cock, which was getting harder and harder by the second. The sensation made him shiver and almost whine – then, he moved his mouth to your other breast, rolling his tongue over your nipple before just barely nipping at it with his teeth. Your cheeks flushed an even deeper shade of red, the aggressive stimulation surprising you and making you moan his name lowly.

A satisfied grunt came from the back of his throat as he pulled back to look at you, something akin to awe written across his face. “I missed the sound of that,” he murmured, his lips looking slightly swollen from the work he’d put in and making each word that much more alluring. But Joe was always alluring. That goofy, lopsided smile framed by those beautiful lips – it was a wonder you two didn’t have a bunch of kids scrambling around you at the moment, from the way you two always went at it.

He went to speak again, but he was cut off by the sensation of your thumb running over the tip of his cock as you wrapped your hand around it, gathering the pre-cum that had been leaking out and using it to lube up your hand before you started to pump your hand. A strangled breath left his mouth instead, his head falling back against the couch and eyes fluttering partially closed as he relished in the feeling of your hand wrapped around him. It really had been too long.

“Babe?” you asked, running your free hand up to his jaw, where you ran your thumb over his lower lip to gain his attention. With a bit of struggle, he managed to open his eyes, looking up at you through bleary, glazed eyes and groaning when he saw a grin play at the corner of your lips while your hand still worked dutifully at his cock. “I want to ride you, is that alright?”

He laughed weakly in response, his eyes closing again as he pressed a kiss to the inside of your hand, nodding. “Please,” he managed to croak out, one of his hands gripping your thigh tightly, where the light filtering in from the window reflected off of your smooth skin, pliant underneath his touch.

Pulling your hand out of his boxers, you crawled off him for a moment so he could scoot forward and push his boxers off. While he did so, you rid yourself of your panties, tossing them to the floor as well before you straddled him again, resting one hand back on his knee and draping the other arm over his shoulder. He looked up at you for a moment, chewing on his lip before reaching down to take ahold of his cock, running the tip along your sex and gathering some of the wetness. You bit your lip, holding back a breathy moan as he brushed it over your clit, and watched as he lined himself up. Once again, he looked up at you for confirmation, and you nodded slightly before slowly sinking down onto his cock, your lips parting as you sharply inhaled at the sensation.

As soon as he’d completely sheathed himself in you, you paused for a moment and leaned down to catch him in a quick openmouthed kiss, Joe’s tongue swirling around yours for just a moment before he pulled away slightly, resting his forehead against yours. After a deep breath, you rocked your hips deliberately, shallow breaths leaving the both of you as you steadied yourself, then began to ride him.

It was an interesting dynamic, the very minute feeling of movement as the train went along working against you as you rolled your hips.  Joe’s movements also didn’t help as he fucked into you erratically, his hands securely on your hips and pulling you down to him with every thrust. A wicked chain of choice words left his mouth as you circled your hips, taking a moment to rest after your thighs started to burn. “Oh, that should be against the law,” he groaned as he moved his hand up to massage one of your breasts, his lips parted ever-so-slightly, and he licked his lower lip as he looked up at you.

You let out a breathy laugh, shaking your head, and grabbed his other hand, bringing it up to your other breast so he could toy with it as you leaned back, supporting yourself on his knees as you rolled your hips agonizingly slow. You moaned his name lowly as his he ran his thumbs over your nipples, rolling them between his thumb and forefinger just as slow. He was matching your pace, which was frustrating for the both of you, but you needed a breather and he was just getting started.

He must have been able to tell from the sweat forming on your forehead that you were close to tapping out, so he wrapped his arms around your torso and pulled you back so you were flush against him, his lips pressing a gentle kiss between your breasts before he murmured, “Turn around and sit on my lap.”

You raised an eyebrow, panting heavily, but complied, pulling off of him reluctantly, which made both of you whine softly at the loss of contact. Turning around, you seated yourself on his lap as he scooted back to give you more room – his cock pressed against your ass, still veiny and swollen from the need for release, but that wasn’t his primary concern right now. You were.

He moved you so you were straddling one thigh, and you let out a deliciously loud moan as his hand snuck down to rub your clit in wide, languorous circles. “God, I love you,” you murmured, leaning your head back against his shoulder while your eyes fluttered closed. His fingers were always able to pull you to the edge – Joe knew you in a way that no one ever had before. It was like he was brought into this world already knowing how to drive you crazy, both as a lover and in general.

“Better not be saying that just because I’ve got my fingers inside you,” he chuckled, and you furrowed your eyebrows as you peeked an eye open. From what you could feel, his fingers were nowhere near inside you, because you were sure you’d be a fucking mess if they were.

“What? You haven’t got- oh shit,” you breathed out as he slid two of his fingers inside of you, curling them up and making you writhe in pleasure. But he just held them there, taunting you, practically daring you to fuck yourself on his fingers. And because he knew you couldn’t help it, you did. As soon as your hips moved, he pulled his fingers out with a devilish smirk on his face, and he ran his fingers up your pussy as he leaned down to kiss your shoulder.

“Let me do the work, angel.” And with that, he slid his fingers into you once again, this time pumping them slowly and curling them up to hit all of your sensitive areas, each move making you more and more of a mess. When he reached down with his other hand to rub your clit, you thought you’d died and gone to heaven right there. You were sky high at this point anyways, the feeling of his long, slender fingers pumping in and out of you accompanied by his other hand working at your clit making you dizzy with pleasure. “You like that?” he asked, hardly audible over the sound of blood rushing in your ears.

Nodding, You let out a choked moan and turned to nuzzle his neck. As much as you wanted to hit your climax right away, you needed something to bring you back down to Earth before the whole train heard you screaming his name. Which, he probably would have enjoyed, after the embarrassment had ebbed away. So, you gathered your thoughts as best as you could, only briefly interrupted by a pitiful moan as he added another finger. God, this man drove you crazy.

Then you were served a perfect reminder as you shifted your hips, brushing up against Joe’s cock once again, and you thought you heard a whimper escape his lips at the friction. Your lips curled into a knowing smile before you reached up and spit on your hand, the action alerting Joe, but not fast enough. Within a second, you’d reached down to wrap your hands around his cock, circling the tip with your thumb as a shaky breath escaped from his lips. But he didn’t fight it, so you started to stroke his cock in time with his fingers sliding into you, matching his pace and eliciting an unholy sound from the both of you.

It was like you were both in sync, minds connected as his fingers worked away at your core and your hand stroked at him. When you briefly let go of him to reach down and cup his balls, you thought you’d have to put a muzzle on him before he got any louder as your name came tumbling forth from his lips. He only seemed mildly ashamed as you giggled at the wanton nature of his moans, and a quick curl of his fingers shut you up quite quickly as you gasped, closer to the edge than you’d been this whole time.

“Shit, I’m close,” you murmured, letting your head rest against Joe’s as you felt pressure building up in your lower stomach, and Joe nodded a bit before continuing to fuck you with his fingers, his other hand starting to move faster and faster against your clit. That, combined with a quick curl of his middle finger, was enough to pull you over the edge, and you let out a series of moans as you came on his hands, your orgasm taking over your body and making your back arch as you squeezed your eyes shut. Overwhelmed with waves of pleasure, you could barely feel Joe’s hands leave your core, but you shivered at the loss once you’d rode out your high.

“You good?” Joe’s lips against your cheek brought you back to reality, and you realized he wasn’t quite finished yet as you moved your hand back up to wrap around him again. He nuzzled your cheek, taking a deep, trembling breath as you started to pump your hand once again. As you did so, you crawled off his lap and kneeled in front of him on the floor, still pulling him closer to his high as he watched you, tangling a hand in your hair. It was no surprise, what you were doing, but he still let out a sinful groan as you dragged your tongue up the underside of his cock, then wrapped your lips around the tip.

Swirling your tongue around the tip, you triggered a string of curses that would put the previous one to shame, and his grip on your hair tightened as you started to take more of him into your mouth. Ignoring the wetness that was dripping down your thigh at this point, you hallowed your cheeks as you started to bob your head, Joe trying to hold back from thrusting up into your mouth as he groaned. “Just like that, baby, just a little bit more.”

Humming momentarily, you started to take more and more of him into your mouth, and you felt him twitch in your mouth before he was undone. He came into your mouth, hips thrusting forward as he involuntarily fucked your mouth, desperately riding out his high and moaning your name over and over in a raspy, sex-laden voice. All you had to do was hold still until he was coming off his high, after which you swallowed the salty substance and pulled off of him slowly, wiping your lips with the back of your hand. His grip in your hair released as you crawled back up to straddle him again, finally letting yourself rest as you slumped forward against him. Arms wrapped lazily around his neck, you felt his own snake around your waist, pulling you flush to him as the both of you panted, worn out but oh-so-satisfied.

Beautiful landscapes and scenery quickly passed by as the two of you caught your breath, the midday sun still coming in through the window and hitting the both of you, a warming force that was very welcome as you began seeking a replacement to fend off the blast of the cool A/C since your body temperatures were decreasing rapidly. The sweat on your skin cooled, making goosebumps raise on your arms as you shivered, kissing Joe’s head and smiling when he made a happy noise.

“Thank God for Amtrak,” he murmured against the skin of your shoulder, and you nodded in assent before standing and going to grab something, anything, to clean the two of you off. But there was nothing to be had, and you pouted as you turned back to him. “Shower?” he suggested, and you nodded, grabbing your phone as the two of you headed for the small shower in your cabin.

It was a tight fit, but you managed to share the space as some soft music played from your phone just outside the shower door. Cleansing yourself of the sin from moments before, you decided to just relish in the warm water as Joe wrapped his arms around your waist from behind, pressing a kiss to the top of your damp head. “Wonder how Ben’s doing?” you murmured, Joe chuckling and shaking his head before he rested his chin on top of yours. Both of you just let the water run over you, warming you back up, and you dreaded the moment you’d have to leave.

As if on cue, your phone began to ring, and you pouted before you shut off the water, grabbing the two towels from just outside of the door and handing one to a grateful Joe before stepping out yourself, drying off as you crossed over to your phone.

Ben’s double-chin selfie with Joe was taking up the screen, and Joe laughed when he realized that Ben was calling from maybe two cabins down instead of just walking down the hallway. Rolling your eyes, you answered the phone and put it on speaker. “Hello?”

Ben’s voice was panicked, almost hurried as he spoke, and worried you for just a second before you realized why he was upset. “Y/N, please tell me you’re hungry. I don’t want to go down to the café alone. American trains are intimidating.”

Laughing, you dried your hair and looked back at Joe, who was wrapping the towel around his waist and chuckling. “I suppose I could eat. Joe, what about you?” He nodded, and you wrapped your towel around you before you picked up the phone. “Yeah, we’re both down. Just give us a second to get dressed.”

“Ew, why aren’t you dressed?” Ben gasped, his voice crackly as you went through a bit of a dead spot reception-wise.

“Just showering,” Joe answered, giving you a knowing look before wiggling his eyebrows, which only got him a light smack on the chest from you.

“Oh. I thought you were shagging. My bad,” Ben laughed, and then he cleared his throat. “Please hurry. I can hear my stomach digesting itself... Joe, wear something cute.”

“I’d do anything for you, baby,” he replied, not missing a beat or batting an eyelash as he schmoozed with Ben once again, making you roll your eyes.

“Your homiesexual is showing, guys,” you warned lightly, wringing out your hair over the sink. Joe reached to pinch your ass quickly in retaliation, and you shot him a dirty look before smacking his hand away. 

“You’re just jealous that we’re meant to be, Y/N.” With that, Ben hung up, and you grinned widely as you turned to Joe fully, wrapping your arms around his waist.

“You are such a liar. Just showering?” you scolded him teasingly, a goofy grin lighting up his face as he leaned down to kiss you, your towel falling a bit to the side when he picked you up and wrapped your legs around his waist. You made a noise of surprise as he sat you down on the edge of the sink, the metal cool and unforgiving against your heated skin, but Joe’s hand moving to tug your towel the rest of the way off distracted you.

“Think Ben can wait a bit longer?”

taglist - @crosmopolitan​ @just-ladyme​ @rogerfxckingtaylor​ @fourmisfitz​ @shae-is-not-ok @moreinfinite @fruityfreddie @poachedhazontoast @strawberryfields-forever @imladrs @psychoticobsession @ladylannisterxo @rebelrebelyourefaceisamess @destiel-stucky4ever-loki-queen @wanderingsami @stardvstial @iminlovewith-rogers-car @glowungeyes

message me/reply to this to be added to the permanent taglist! REQUESTS CLOSED

[thehomierobbstark]

Girl, Fuck You

A/N: Apologies for the silence lately, Homie’s been feeling a little bitchmade in the emotional department the last couple days, but she gon be alright. I was actually gonna drop this after part 2 of the last story (haven’t figured out a name yet), but it’s heavily emotional and I needed a little siesta before I plunged back into it. Thanks for thinking of me for this request @lifelover4u! I hope its at least semi what you wanted 😅lol

Warnings: 👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿 Down below as well as the prompt 

This is for all my lil cute ass black gorditas out there rockin back fat, belly rolls and thick ass thighs that touch!!  x Reader is always gon be black, chubby, and sassy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Her hands grip the back of Erik’s head as she leans down into the kiss, pressing her lips hard against his. He gives a low moan underneath her mouth, digging his fingers into her sides to hold her tighter, pushing under her shirt to feel her soft, fluffy midsection. Her skin warms at his touch, and she wraps an arm around his neck to pull herself closer, her knees on either side of his waist spreading wider to sink down into his lap.

He pulls back and takes a sharp intake of breath, biting his lip to try and hold back the sensual groan that wanted so badly to escape his lips. His low eyes trail over her, taking in the thin gold baby chain around her neck that he’d given her last month, and the way the excess length spilled into her cleavage.

He could see a tiny bit of the blue lace bra peeking out from under her white tank top, the garment fitting snugly against her C-cups. The perfect size for him to devour with his mouth.

He vaguely wondered if her panties matched, too, but he restrains himself from hooking a finger into her belt loop and taking a look for himself.

He strokes his thumb over the skin of her tummy, teasingly going lower and lower with each rubbing motion. Attacking her chest, he sucks and bites the tops of her delicious chocolate mounds while his other hand grabs onto her ass, encouraging her to move on him.

She presses soft kisses into his forehead and temples as he ravages her with his mouth, scratching at his beard softly and rolling her hips into him.

The hand on her tummy swipes lower, his fingers brushing over her lace covered treasure, rubbing tight circles just above her slit, denying her the friction he knew she wanted.

Moaning in protest, she tries to grind her hips into his hand so he could feel her damp sex.

“What, princess? What you want? I’m staying above the panties like you said,” he goads her, reminding her of the rule she’d had him following ever since they’d made it past first base a couple weeks ago.

He’d made it very clear once he’d gotten a chance to wrap his arms around her waist later that night that he couldn’t wait to ‘get his mouth on that pussy next,’ a confession he’d whispered in her ear while they were at dinner with her friends (mostly just to see how much she’d squirm).

Since then he’d been restraining himself to second base even though his mouth watered every time he saw her lower half, and the way his fingers kept working her made it really hard for her not to renege.

“Come on, Erik,” she whines, and humps against him again. He snickers into her skin, nuzzling her behind her ear, fingers still playfully avoiding her clit.

“Watchu want? Say it babygirl, I’m not a mind reader.” She feels him grin against her neck and she rolls her eyes, annoyed.

He knew exactly what it was she wanted, he was just determined to make her work for it.

She takes a mental deep breath and pushes aside her pride, too horny to consider stopping.

“Fine,” she sucks her teeth, fixing her mouth to say the embarrassing words.

“…I-want-you-to… touch me?” she asks instead of tells, speeding over the first few words to try and save herself at least some dignity.

He detaches from her neck, leaning back and giving her a bored look.

“Really, babygirl?” he deadpans.

She looks down, fiddling with her fingers as her face grows hot.

“What? I said it…” she shrugs her shoulders innocently.

“After all that practice, that’s all you got for me?” he cocks his head at her, alluding to the little “training” sessions they’d shared trying to help her break out of her shell by making her tell him how he made her feel.

She hadn’t been too explicit yet, but he was hoping to help her get there tonight. It seemed she just needed some inspiration. A little push.

“What more do you want from me?” she looks into his eyes with her big, deep brown orbs, looking so cute and angelic as she sneakily tries to play on his heart strings. He was always a sucker for those eyes, but not tonight.

Tonight, he was ready to corrupt his little girl and wipe that look off her face forever.

Flipping her off of him to sit on the couch, he sinks down to the floor, pulling her butt to the edge and holding her legs apart.

“That’s not what I mean and you know it.” His voice is laced with danger and desire, both of which have her tiny bud quivering with anticipation.

“Now… tell me what you want…” he pops open the button on her jeans, slowly unzipping her fly as he never breaks eye contact, licking his lips.  He grabs the waist of her pants and roughly tugs them down, the jerking movement jarring her and bringing her back to her senses.

She places a hand on Erik’s shoulder to slow him down.

“Erik, wait! Hang on-“

“Babygirl, you can either tell me what you want, or shut the fuck up and let me do what I want. Final warning.”

He’s stripped her of her jeans now, tugging the last of the material from around her ankle before tossing them somewhere behind him. He smiles a devilish grin, happy to see that his earlier theory was right, and he eyes the ocean blue panties laid against her pretty brown skin.

His words were so mean but not a sliver of disrespect could be found on his face. Such an asshole. He knew how tongue tied and wet she got whenever he was demanding with her.

He starts in on her thighs, giving slow, sloppy wet kisses that end with sharp bites, making sure to give each leg equal attention as he trails up to her pulsing center.

He gets right to the thin soft skin on the inside of her thigh near her opening, and sucks it into his mouth, tongue working hard over it like he’s trying to make the biggest hickey ever.

“Erik!” she calls out again, her thighs locked in place around his head, trying to keep him from going any further and give herself some relief from the sensation as she tries to push his head away.

He pulls back but only for a second, forcibly pushing her legs back apart and pinning them down with his forearms.

“You still haven’t said anything baby,” he tsks at her, and she remembers his threat from a few minutes ago.

“How many fingers you think this pussy can take, huh? One? Two?”

He grabs her jaw, shoving a finger into her mouth and pumping it in and out a few times before adding another.

He bends down to pull her panties to the side with his teeth, gently grazing over the lace before scraping up the soft material with a slow bite, careful not to accidentally nip her sensitive parts.

When he gets them clear of her intoxicating center, he gives a long hum, biting his lip as he eyes her salaciously.

Her mouth was still stuffed with his fingers and she didn’t dare make a move to try and cover herself, so she just sits there and whimpers, eyes wide as she watches him watching her.

“I don’t know, she seems kinda tight. I think I’mma need to stretch her out a little to get her ready for my dick.” He evilly grins, and before she can disagree he shoves another finger into her mouth, making her gag, and her pussy quivers at the degrading sound.

She breaths out hard through her nose, grabbing his wrist to try and get a handle on his plunging hands before she damn near chokes on her saliva.  She feels him trying to add another finger and pulls out of his hold on her jaw, his fingers slipping out of her mouth and leaving strings of spit to fall over her chest.

“Okay! Okay Erik, fuck, I’ll tell you what I want!” she finally submits to him, too fearful of what might happen if he gets all those fingers inside of her.

His spit ridden fingers grip her neck hard, jerking her towards him and baring his teeth as he gets in her face.

“Speak.” His hand clamps down tighter around her neck, and she uses the little bits of air she can gasp in to talk, knowing he wasn’t going to let up. He smacks her ass as she speaks, making her squirm and moan as she struggles to get the words out.

“Make me c-cum *gasp* with your mouth, Daddy…” She pauses to moan at her own words, feeling herself start to drip down below. “I- fuckkk- I want you to *slap* wrap those fat lips around my clit Daddy and *groan* make me scream…”

The sides of her vision start to grow dark, but it all feels so good she doesn’t want him to stop gripping her neck.

Thankfully, Erik was able to recognize it and pull her back from the edge before she could get too close to falling into unconsciousness.

Choking was one of her kinks, and while he was more than happy to help her explore it, he valued an alive and breathing girlfriend more.

“Nah, come back to me baby, we not there yet,” He speaks to her softly, releasing his hold and lightly tapping onto her cheek with his fingers to get her attention and bring her back.

She was in her own little world of bliss and euphoria, and he laughs at the goofy ass grin plastered wide across her face as she comes down, her breathing growing steadier.  She hadn’t even come yet, but the mental high she was riding was enough to tire her out and keep her mind spinning as if she did.

“Damn, who knew dirty talk could do all that?” She asks once her breathing returns to normal, talking to no one in particular. He kisses his teeth as he makes himself comfortable on the couch, laying down and pulling her body with him.  

“Umm, I knew, why you think I been trying to get your shy ass to talk nasty this whole time?” He smacks at her thigh to help emphasize his point, and she flicks his forehead back.

“Shut up, it was rhetorical,” she grumbles, scooting back a little more to siphon some of the heat radiating off his body. She pulls one of his arms under her to lay her head on it, loving the strong earthy scent of his cologne that envelops her and the comfortable bulkiness of his bicep.

“Girl, are you bout to fall asleep? We not done yet! I’m still tryna eat you until dinner,” His voice is loud and bothersome in her ear, and she sleepily mumbles for him to shut the hell up, burying her face into his arm.

“Aight, bet. Watch if you don’t wake up with me between ya legs ma.” He threatens, and she ignores him, her mind already drifting off into a glorious slumber.

He scoffs at her silence, wrapping his other arm around her waist and pulling her impossibly closer, muttering something about how “you gon learn today”.

In the soft silence of her heavy sleepy breaths and his quiet even ones, he can’t help but be happy that he was finally able to defile his perfect little princesses mouth, even if he wasn’t able to carry out her request yet.

All he could think about as he held her soft, warm body against his was how sexy she sounded begging for him to put his mouth on her, and the small “O” her mouth made moaning from the mischievous look in his eyes. The image of the bite marks he’d left behind on her fluttered through his mind, and he wondered what those pouty lips of hers would feel like wrapped around his thick cock, that tongue sticking out to taste every last drop of his hot -

“Erik?”

Her small tired voice snaps him from his daydream, and when he answers his voice is thick with distraction and lust.

“Huh? Wassup?”

He didn’t even realize he’d pressed his rock solid dick in between her cheeks, and snaked a rogue hand under her tank top to massage her pillow soft breasts.

“Why yo heart beating so fast?” She asks, trying to cover up her sniggering laugh, and he detaches himself from her, turning to face the back of the couch like a petty child.

“Girl, fuck you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Warnings: Choking, Daddy Kink, Dirty Talk (I blew my own wig back tbh yall 😂)

Prompt: Based off this post per request. 

No tags right now because it’s currently 1AM, but I got yall when I get back from work tomorrow🤘🏿

[prorevenge]

He must have been a master hacker.

Warning: book ahead

Decades ago a was a restaurant manager. After years of working for TGI McChillibees I was recruited by a regular to come work at a hotel.

I was tired of the big corporate game and this seemed like a new challenge. Plus I was tired of trying to take pride in slinging food that when done perfectly was still mediocre at best.

Right away it was evident this hotel was a shit show. It turned out the property was under federal receivership as the owner was under indictment for making half a billion dollars in loans to banks that didn’t exist for companies that didn’t exist.

(One day the bellman who drove the shuttle can came back from a run superexcited to tell everyone the owner was back in country and he knew it because the bellman saw the owner led out of the airport in handcuffs by guys with windbreakers that read FBI.)

I was brought in to update the bars and restaurants but was not allowed to change anything. The head of housekeeping denied my request to dim the lights in the bar because it looked cleaner. I later found out this is common in some Asian countries but who the hell in America wants to sit in a bright white box with a bar in a shitty airport hotel when there are a load of hip bars a cab ride away.

No one. And that’s who was drinking in our bar. No one.

I was used to working with people more or less my age and with the same point of view. Now I was managing long term union members who gave zero fucks. Add to that the complete lack of training I was given in how to work in a union environment and it wasn’t pretty.

The HR manager (who recruited me) was leading negotiations with the union for the next contract and didn’t want to upset the apple cart so she refused to endorce any discipline. We had a busser no call/no show for a month. We let him go as it was job abandonment, it was grieved, and he was brought back as a banquet porter. Wtf?

It was a union house yet when someone no showed or called out I was expected to cover. I didn’t know this until a few weeks in when I got a call at 3 am saying I had to cover the breakfast shift as both server and cashier.

The controller was convinced everyone was stealing. She walked around all day looking for opportunities, nay possibilities that someone might remove a paper clip and screw the hotel.

The accountant sat in his office chain smoking cigarettes. He looked like something out of a movie with his long nails and an ash never less that three inches long. His office was always locked and he was barricaded in his desk by two shredders and they were always going.

The banquet manager got arrested for a DUI and convinced the guy who had my job before me to bail him out. No one knew this until one day he no showed and the cops come by looking for homie. Turns out the old manager had put his house on the line for this dude so he was fucked.

The Chef was awful. Like out of a book awful. He would buy fish from his steward who was catching them in the bay. The bay that was known to be full of PCBs and other contaminants from a few hundred years of pollution and was deemed off limits for catching food.

The Sunday buffet was everything from the last week or so covered in cream sauces and lemon slices. Didn’t matter if it was bad or not, just add more lemon slices.

Banquet food came out of the freezer and got put in the hot box hours before the event yet this clown ran around yelling at everyone like he was Gordon Ramsay.

The GM was told his contract wouldn’t be renewed a month into my tenure so he said fuck it and had me order cases of Dominus, and Lynch Bages, a fifth growth Bordeaux that drinks like a first. I learned that wine crap later as I was 25 and considered Miller Genuine Draft Light and Rumpleminz the pinnacle of fine drinking. All I knew was the shit was spends.

He would get off work and sit in the bar knocking back $60 of wine (around $100 in today’s scrilla) while I was yelled at for letting him do it.

Let him do it? That was my boss. How could I stop him?

Needless to say things weren’t working out so after a few months we agreed at my 90 day review to part ways. It was an easy decision.

I was moving on and happy in my next gig but still friends with some of the people I worked with who were there. In fact I ended up in the wedding of one of them.

I was already salty about my time there as what I was promised and what happened were worlds apart. But then my friend got fucked over.

She had landed a long term contract with the power company. We had some bad storms that damaged the power grid and they brought people from another market in for 9 months to trim trees, modernize things, whatever it is power companies due in such cases.

My friend should have received 1.5% of all their billing. Rooms, food, misc expenses all should have had a slight vig that kicked to her as was laid out in her employment bonus program. This would have been huge money as it was dozens of rooms a night over nine months.

When bonus time rolled around they kicked her a tiny fraction of what she was owed. Instead of close to 6 figures she barely got a few grand.

She was livid, as was her fiancé and I.

One night we were all bitching about it at the bar watching football. I really hated that place for me, for her, for everyone stuck in that hellhole. A terrible thought entered my brain around halftime and wouldn’t go away. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do but this would be my night.

I drove to the property and parked next door. It was not a well lit area so I could sneak over to where my old office was and jumped the wall. We always left the slider open to go out and smoke (it was a converted ground floor room) and I knew the banquet manager who shared the office was still on the run so I should be safe.

Once in the office I looked around trying to decide what to do when I saw the POS computer. This was the 90s so everything was controlled by this dinosaur from the 80s in the backroom that had a plastic box over the keyboard so no one could accidentally hit a key.

I grabbed my shirt like I’d seen in the movies so I wouldn’t leave any prints and fired it up. This old beast ran MSDOS as it’s operating system and I was enough of a geek to know what to try.

I typed in cd\ to get to the root directory. Then del . For the vast majority out there who have no idea what that means wiped out the root directory. I was giddy with that total “aw fuck what did I just do” feeling. Not sure if that was enough and completely surprised I was able to do so I double downed and typed in format /c.

The damn thing blinked and just started chugging along. Fucking erased itself.

I got the hell out of there and somehow made it home without a dui. I guessed they’d have to reboot from a back up and ha ha that would be a pain in the ass.

A year or so later I ran in to some of the hotel peeps in a bar and they asked if I’d heard about what happened.

It turned out that someone hacked the pos system and destroyed it. Because it was so old, “experts” had to be flown in and they said the person must have been a masterful hacker because if they had done anything less then it would have been an easy fix. Anything more and it would have left electronic fingerprints.

It turned out that there were no back ups. It was towards the end of the month and all the sales data was gone. The experts couldn’t rebuild a system so old so a new system had to be purchased and installed. That alone ran over 6 figures to do.

This also triggered an audit.

Remember the controller who was convinced everyone was stealing? Turns out she was. She and the accountant were led out of the hotel in handcuffs as it turns out the feds don’t like it when you embezzle from a company in their receivership.

At that point it hit me that I could be in some seriously hot water so once my heart started pumping again I stopped any sort of coy “what do you mean” bullshit when asked if I knew anything about it and shut the hell up.

The statute of limitations is long gone and it’s an obvious throwaway. I wish I could take credit for being such a master l33t haxter but it was just the actions of a pissed off drunk with a geeky background.

(source) (story by Poskilla)

[khiphop-discussions]

SMTM6 Ep.2 Highlights/Comments

The producer be sneaking around trying to hide which contestant they’re watching like they slick or something. LOL

Sleepy!!!!!!! Sleepy, DinDin, and Yongguk need to come on together. This show would be SOOOO much fun with all 3.

Sleepy scared the SHIT out of me right there. Junoflo and Sleepy better stop scaring me.

Tiger JK asked him if he’s here....bitch Duh! LOL Tiger

Don’t understand the point of the Doubl K cliffhanger when we already know there’s no chance he’s NOT passing after all of this screen time.

Double K has me lowkey crushing after that audition

Double K has 2 chains (no pun intended). That means you gotta eliminate him twice to get him off the show lol

I’m already mentally preparing myself for the round 2 because I already know what happens to [redacted until later]

Maniac! LET’S GO!

Those reactions are fake. Nobody was mad dogging each other. Don’t get fooled by the editing.

LOL they clowning the couches

They act like no one else on this show is friends with the producers other than Penomeco. LOL Dok2 and Tiger JK all have people signed to their label on this show  and ALL the producers have VARIOUS friends

So they aren’t even gonna acknowledge that Junoflo’s signed to Tiger JK’s label after all that with Penomeco? LOL. I guess there’s no reason to keep pointing out connections anyway since they’d have to do it for like 75% of the competitors

OK Black Nine I see you...

Sangwook is a cutie. I don’t know if it’s my residual Khundi Panda love is wearing off (cause they damn near twins lol). He’s sweet I wanna bake him cookies.

They shouldn’t fail him. I don’t think they should have failed him.

But this better set the bar because it seems like they are failing ANYONE who forgets lyrics. So they better do it for EVERYBODY or y’all gonna hear my mouth lol

RUDALS! J’Kyun! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Failing because the rap is old (in style)? Girl BYE!

Somebody needs to fail Dok2′s braids

To quote One “Pass, Pass motherfucker”

Ignito is a Death Metal rapper lol

And then Kebee is a Christian Rock rapper

1KYNE!!!! Saw him in the waiting room

Come on Kebee...recover bro PLEASE....eliminated

The schoolgirl rapper be SOOOO upset when people get eliminated like that. I feel you girl! Message me!

That instrumental Ignito used is hard as fuck 

I was about to go off on ALL 8 of them lol

Wonjae is good but he’s not gonna make it far. He has no performance and he can really only do that one style more than likely. His style just inst gonna work for this show.

I LOVE this girl. She’s got so much charisma. What’s he name! The one that’s got a short cheetah type hair style

I’m not the biggest fan of ASOL tbh. But I wish her the best.

Truedy’s a good rapper she just need to get her shit together. Stop with the fake Black shit. I can’t support her until she get’s it together. (I wrote this before I saw the rap) 

Zico is right though...she got worse. I’ll be watching out for her though. I don’t WANT to keep with the typical “I HaTE truedy blah blah blah” shit. I want her to change and do better. I don’t WANT her to keep appropriating my culture. I want her to change and get good at rap so their can be one more female rapper to root on. But if not....then fuck her. But I’m definitely not gonna keep bringing her up just to talk shit about someone. I’d rather spend my time on someone I like

Who’s that guy with the ripped jeans and the weird noises? He’s interesting but that hair....good lord.

I wasn’t really interested in KillahGramz last season but he’s improved now I’m interested a little bit. Let’s see what’s up with him, he did good.

That blonde guy from the US was giving me Kangnam vibes...lol

LET’s go Maniac!!!!!!

The only person on this show who can say “nigga” without getting in trouble....80% of the rappers on this show are shook.

My little homie right here! Woochan!

Dok2 PLEASE...you could NEVER. Woochan I’m sorry *insert the rest of that New York from Flavor of Love picture here*

2005? Good Lord...way to make me feel old Woochan

Stop saying he reminds you of Dok2...he’s BETTER thatn he was at that age. In a few years he’s gonna be better than Dok2 period. He’s not that far off.

Digili not Digiri I need to remember that.

This is SOOOO awkward....

He should have been eliminated Tiger....Like this is annoying as fuck considering [redacted] gets eliminated. Like at least give the younger guys a chance instead if you’re gonna give free passes.

There’s MANY people who shouldn’t have gotten eliminated of Digili. I think someone brought up Wonjae and that’s true.

Wait...what? They are mad cause they chose Nucksal’s beat? Like get over it. If he’s good, he’s good.

Nucksal’s the one who shoudn’t have used it. Especially since everyone already knows this verse from him. He’s my favorite k-rapper right now but it was weak as hell to pick “jakdu” or “Cut Cut Cut” as most of the international fans call it. But whatever.

Like that guy who looks like hippie Tiger JK what’s his name. He looks like a cool guy. He came on and performed earlier (we didn’t see it he was shown before the ripped pants guy send me both of their names if you know them please, as well as the cheetah hair style girl)

I’m so upset No:el got eliminated but not Digili. You can HEAR that No:el is better (wonjae too of course) and would have passed if not for the lyrical mistake. I hear Digili does better in ep.3 so I’m no gonna go to far in on him. But it does bother me that I get to watch No:el cry when worse people than him passed.

Young B.  I’d HATE to face him in a diss battle he just seems like he’d intimidate you before he even starts rapping. He’s SOOOO good and I love it. His vibe on and off stage is so different like I can’t even put it into proper words right now. Slay, just slay Young B.

The irony of Tiger JK giving this “responsibility” speech to Young B after...nevermind

At least Young B isn’t dressed like a damn fool this episode. Cause that episode 1 outfit....

Shut up...y’all eliminated him because he forgot the fuck out of his lyrics. It wasn’t anything else. He was perfect besides the choke. It wasn’t the beat, it wasn’t that he couldn’t make you listen, it was that he choked. Just say that

But anyway, that’s all foks. See you for the next episode. Nahae said she gonna try to do episode 3 REALLY quick. She said she’ll work all day tomorrow on it. So if it does get dropped tomorrow then I’ll probably watch Monday or Tuesday since I'll be busy Sunday.

[dmnqboss]

BEWARE OF FUCK NIGGAS!

This was a guy I was "dating" from work. We were "together" for 8 months. We went to his house most nights after work, spent our days off together. It felt like a relationship. The more time we spent the more I was feeling him. And it felt reciprocated. We eventually came to terms that we were together. It was more hesitant on his end (RED FLAG ⚠️)

It started off, him plotting on me. Whenever he saw me he made slick comments. You know the comments I'm talking about. He's from the Bronx. He was older, 39. I'm was 23. So I still like that slick shit. He was the only guy not afraid to approach me. *cough* narcissist. So he got my attention.

I hadn't spoken or been with anybody for 3 months before him. Before that time I had been talking to and trying to develop a relationship with an engineer on the job for 2 months but I was hesitant about being with him. But he wanted to be with me so bad. And before that I had not entertained a man at all for 1 year and a half. So I was rusty and needed oil to loosen up. Whether it was sexually or mentally. I needed a Male presence. I grown and I need love too.

Time passes and we are fucking with eachother a little heavier. It gets heavy when I tell him I love him 🙄🤦🏽‍♀️. Yes I'm a dumbass. I would never let him break up with me because I didn't like his approach. (Over text, starting a fight, etc.) And he always wanted to break up over something petty. (I should've ran). I thought I was being a woman by challenging him to love and open up. Too him that was crazy, bipolar etc. But I didnt see it that way.

He always called me ugly, said I was fat. One time we had a pregnancy scare and he barked on me. Told me to get on birth control and I better not be pregnant. He always spoke to me in disgust.

I had bad hair days and there were times my hair wasnt done. Now I am grown so I never roll out bed and bounce. I do something it just doesn't last throughout the day.I have a stressful life and thats an understatement. I didnt always have the time or money. He made sure he let me know how repulsed he was by me. But never offered to pay for my hair to be done. I asked him one day and he said no, he said I'm a grown ass woman who can take care of myself. He would go as far as not speaking to me in public. And humiliate me in public if we were together around his boys.😔🙍🏾‍♀️

During our time together he always compared me being black to being crazy. Mind you he is a full grown black man. He always spoke about Spanish girls and mixed girls. But sometimes tried to uplift me. Sometimes! Whenever I felt beautiful or confident he found something wrong with me.

I stayed. 😤. But that's because we had the best times. We were cool, we were homies. Honestly I took it as him never being afraid to be honest with me. We kicked it all the time.I loved him. We both expressed how comfortable we were around the other. He even told me he never felt that way with anyone else 🙄. I know sis, I fell for it.

One day one of his work friends, our colleague, came up to me and said I was sexy. Then tried to kick it to me during my break. He knew that we were together so, I didnt entertain it but I didn't put a direct stop to it. We were at work and I was uncomfortable.

When he got to work, I was on my way out. I talked to him in the office. I told him what transpired and told him not to get mad. He got mad but internalized it and said he didn't care. He questioned why I told him that, as if I was being messy or malicious.I came back minutes later to get his keys, I had been staying in his apartment for a week straight. Cooking for him. Cleaning for him. As a trade off in a way, but I enjoyed doing it.

I had just smoked and taken a bath. So I was relaxed and I fell asleep around 10 PM waiting for him to get home. At 12:30 he calls me to open the door and he sounds mad. So when I open the door I ask him if he is ok. He doesn't answer and is pacing like he wants to say something. But he doesn't. I think everything is Gucci so I get back in bed and fall asleep.

He starts talking.

"I'm going to ask him."

I say "ok."

He keeps going. Angrier and angrier by the second.

I'm baffled and I just kind of let him go off for a few. Since I'm not giving a reaction he starts to dig and dig and dig until I cant take it. I get Heated but I'm still trying to diffuse the argument as I'm water and hes lit up, I'm staying calm basically. But he keeps going and now we are both yelling. But when I yell he pretends I'm the one wilding out and gets quiet😡. (He has a history of doing this) So I go off, defending myself. Because he is insuating wild shit. The colleague told him I asked him for drinks... A YEAR AGO! I admitted I did because he expressed how his dad just died, he missed his daughter, etc. I was being a friend, plus I was getting drinks after work on my dolo ANYWAY!

This made me mad. Because instead of just chopping it up man to man, he questions me and insuates me being a ho. Mind you I'm with him ALL THE TIME. I'm very loyal when I'm holding somebody down. But I'd I'm single I do me. And most times I entertain NO NIGGAS! I'm a chill person. So when I'm fed up. I'm fed up fed up!

So boom I'm going in, but never do I disrespect him. I love him, why would I? But im letting him have it to defend myself. He expressed that he didnt want to hear shit like that. And I agreed to never tell him again.

It gets heated he tells me to leave in the middle of the night. I live in a different state so my trains dont operate like NY trains. I say no and lay back down because hes being dramatic, at least that's what I see it as. We were in a relationship so we fought like this from time to time.

Disclaimer: He drank all day and drank a bottle of Titos when he got home. So I'm ignoring him because he is drunk as well. He drinks everyday, he is a a functioning alcoholic.

I get smart and say

"You talking mad shit yet you drinking MY whole bottle of liquor"

He pegs the bottle in my direction and it hits the wall. I know he wasnt going to hit me but he was trying to scare me.

I scream at him. Because now hes fucking bugging.

So while I lay in silence and he watches a movie, I'm texting my mom. I tell her i want to leave in the AM and never come back. She asks if I'm ok and if I need help. I say no. 1 minute later something clicks and says, GTFOH! So she calls me an uber and I get my things situated. He tells me to take the groceries I brought to him the day prior. So I do.

I go into the room to figure out why this bothered him so much. I grabbed leg so I can stand in front of him. He exchanged words with me and then

BOOM! I'm pinned against the wall, my head hits the closet door.

BOOM! It happens again.

Hes grabbing my face and neck and pinning me against his bed.

(I don't know about you but this does not sound like a tussle to me)

I wasnt fighting back. Honestly I was a little shook and confused. Because this is the very thing he said he would never do.

He walks to fix his bed so I started calling him a piece of shit, crying.

I walk away talking shit towards the door we get near the door and he picks me up and slams me really hard into the wall that happens to have the power box on it. And guess what hits it? Yup. My head. 🤕.

When he let's go and stops, he checks his chain because I kept grabbing his collar so I wouldn't fall too hard. I push his shoulder when I'm down, out of disbelief and frustration.

Once I do that.

I'm done.

He grabs me , slams me into the wall with the towel rack and then slams me into the tub. My head hits tha rim and I can no longer fight. That took the wind out of me. I didn't want to fight anymore. He stared into my eyes and I could tell he would've put me in the hospital if I tried to fight back. At this point I want to get out of here. When he slams me into the tub his chain pops because I was grabbing his collar. This was unintentional. I know the sentiment affiliated with his chain.

I get everything and throw all the food and things I bought for his kitchen, out. Meanwhile my uber was waiting for 10 to 15 minutes outside.my mom is calling and texting and asking to call the police. I hop into the uber and immediately block all contact with this man.

So the messages posted were right after everything and I am seeing them in my blocked message settings today.

I was distraught.

This man spent 8 months with me. Seeing eachother 3 to 4 times a week. Sometimes we never left each other's side. Spent some crucial moments in our lives with eachother. Our birthdays, holidays, spoke to our moms about eachother, I got a promotion at work, my father almost died, he was right there. Good and bad. I thought we were riding for eachother.

I had to realize that this man, owes me nothing. I learned to never be so vulnerable with people like this. Who can torment me after physically harming me. I had a headache for a week because of the trauma to my head. I had a concussion before so I knew I he gave me one. But I didnt want to say anything. I thought he was a good man who made a mistake. But he is just a toxic narcissist.

Beware of fuck niggas. When you notice signs that he is abusive, mentally or physically, please run. You can not change him.

Do not demean yourself for someone like this. I was vulnerable and allowed him to play with that. I gave him power. Vulnerability needs to be saved for your HUSBAND! A man who loves just like you. Who would jump for you. Ride with you. Who would never, even after a nasty split, do this to you.

Thank God every day and focus. Count your blessings and remind yourself to stay prayed up. If you're an empath, sensitive person, unconditional, kind, or even a mess with a great heart... dont you dare let anyone demolish your character. Hold your soul tight and remember that this is all you have to stay resilient against toxicity like this. Love yourself so that you never have to seek validation from NO ONE!

Love yourself. And dont ever feel stupid for loving unconditionally. Keep that, especially if it's in your nature. This physical world is always full of temporary shit. That divinity your heart possesses, that's forever and nobody can buy that or take that away.

[latestnews2018-blog]

There Were Zero Things Better This Week Than Beto O'Rourke's Post-Hardcore Band

New Post has been published on https://latestnews2018.com/there-were-zero-things-better-this-week-than-beto-orourkes-post-hardcore-band/

There Were Zero Things Better This Week Than Beto O'Rourke's Post-Hardcore Band

Welcome to Good Stuff, HuffPost’s weekly recommendation series devoted to the least bad things on and off the internet.  

The single greatest thing I learned this week is that Beto O’Rourke, the Texas Democratic challenger to Ted Cruz for his Senate seat, once played bass in a post-hardcore band called Foss with one Cedric Bixler-Zavala on drums. And he kind of went hard? Harder than Mike Huckabee anyway.

If you don’t know Bixler-Zavala’s name, you will not care, and I don’t blame you. But for the small contingent of us who do, it is the single most random thing ever. By far. No competition. HOLY MOLY I’M GETTING EXCITED ALL OVER AGAIN. WHAT!?!? 

Bixler-Zavala would go on after Foss to become the lead singer of two bands that defined my childhood, the Mars Volta and At the Drive-In, making this a perfect melding of my teenage self and whatever the hell you would call my current state. ― Maxwell Strachan

“Kim’s Convenience”

Between “Crazy Rich Asians” and “To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before,” August has been such a landmark month for pop culture featuring three-dimensional portrayals of Asians that there’s a hashtag for it: #AsianAugust. (If you haven’t seen either of those, go do that!)

“Searching,” a thriller starring John Cho, the first Asian-American actor to headline a mainstream, modern movie in that genre, joins the party this weekend before rolling out to more cities next Friday.

And don’t sleep on “Kim’s Convenience,” a Canadian sitcom about a working-class Korean-Canadian family that premiered in 2016 but is now available in the U.S. on Netflix, which added it in July. In between reveling in how wonderful “Crazy Rich Asians” and “To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before” were, I watched a few episodes last weekend and was immediately hooked. It will definitely be relatable to anyone who comes from an immigrant family. But it also has the classic conventions of any great, slice-of-life family sitcom, with endearing characters and an abundance of irreverent jokes. ― Marina Fang

My Colleague’s Love For “To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before”

On the evening of Tuesday, Aug. 17, my colleague and dear friend Claire Fallon watched “To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before” for the first time. “It fucking wrecked me,” she tweeted of the now-beloved Netflix rom-com. By the time I saw her at work the next morning, Claire had watched “TATBILB” three times already. She seemed… different. There was a twinkle in her eye, a bounce in her step — the unmistakable signs of a woman in love.

Claire confirmed as much with her bombshell story: “Report: I’m in Love With Netflix’s ‘To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before,’” and she didn’t stop there. She RTed every article horny for the film’s romantic male lead, Peter Kavinsky, adding commentary like “i am hurting myself every time i watch it and realize he isn’t real.”

Before long, Claire’s husband was drawn into the fold. “They say you should include your partner in your fantasy life so I made my husband watch to all the boys I’ve loved before with me,” she tweeted on Aug. 18, a time she would later describe as “the most romantic weekend” of her life. This marked her fifth viewing of the film and potentially, I foolishly thought, her last.

Claire is now up to 10 viewings and shows no sign of slowing down. On Monday and Tuesday, when she normally live-tweets “Bachelor in Paradise,” Claire instead posted six GIFs of Peter Kavinsky — in a hot tub, on a school bus, smiling all sexy in a bathrobe. Where am I supposed to get my snarky “Bachelor” commentary now, Claire?! Her obsession became my obsession. Thanks to Claire, I now find myself talking incessantly about a movie I haven’t even seen, filtered through the lovesick gaze of my talented co-worker.

“If you’re wondering, i did watch it last night,” Claire slacked me today, unprompted. “I do little else.” If this post was a rom-com, this is the part where I’d declare my love for Claire and suggest that instead of Peter Kavinsky she take notice of the girl working at the desk across from her all along — fave-ing her tweets, offering her goldfish, casually suggesting they open the mail together. But it’s not, and Claire is married and I have more journalistic ethics than that! ― Priscilla Frank

The Greatest Sentence In The History Of Language

This was a bad week ― all weeks, now, are bad ― but at least we were blessed with one of the great sentences in the history of language.

“Suck my dick and balls I’m working at NASA” is a literary delight, nine words strung together so perfectly that there’s no way to misread them or misinterpret the emotion they intend to convey. The person who wrote them, who had the misfortune of directing them toward someone who oversees NASA, apparently lost out on an internship opportunity at the space-exploring government agency. This is a shame, not just because no one should be fired over a tweet but especially because no one should ever be fired after penning such a beautiful tweet.

Homer Hickam, the former NASA engineer who was best known for writing “Rocket Boys” but will now enter history as the man who elicited the greatest piece of writing humankind has ever produced, is apparently helping our glorious author find an even better opportunity in the aerospace field. But the real hope here is that one day our dear friend ascends to the top of NASA, resumes the shuttle program or some other form of space exploration, and paints our new motto on the side of whatever sort of craft eventually finds other forms of life out there, so that our newfound alien friends’ first brush with the English language is the English language in all its glory. And if we’re not going to cure cancer or solve climate change or find aliens or do any of the other cool shit science is probably capable of, we should put all of our resources and expertise into finding a way to project “Suck my dick and balls I’m working at NASA” onto the moon. ― Travis Waldron

Temi Oni’s Latest Poem

I see a lot of my experience in Temi Oni’s latest poem. I walk a lot. I’m catcalled far too frequently. I’m always minding my business. I’ve been hit on by teenagers, men my age, men my father’s age, men his father’s age. I’ve been asked if I suck dick, if I wanna fuck, if I want a dick in my ass and much worse. My initial silence has agitated the men harassing me to the point of them getting too close — just like Oni’s decision to at first ignore the man who asked her if she sucked dick irked him to the point of walking up on her. Like her, I’ve wonder who the fuck these dudes were talking to. I’ve wished my homies or my man was around because I also have a tendency to fly off the handle when I’ve been disrespected. I size the man up. Sometimes I say something smart, ask him who he’s talking to. Sometimes I don’t say anything at all.

And then, it happens: They threaten to rape you. It freezes you. You want to defend yourself, but you don’t know if you physically can. You want him to die because he thinks it’s funny. You’re paralyzed by your anger, but within moments your guts will churn and you’ll start to realize that you may very well be in danger.

You feel bad for this black person. You want better for them. But you also want to feel safe. As Oni says, seeing the police won’t calm you. Black women are constantly put into compromising positions by black men, but the most harrowing is the decision of whether or not we should sacrifice our own safety for theirs by not calling the police. You don’t want a black person to die at the hands of the police, even though they just threatened to harm you. On the flip side, the police often don’t even see black women as worth saving.

In these moments, I often feel a sense of loneliness that is much deeper than me being harassed while I am literally alone. Whenever a black man has walked up to me on the street or tried anything, no one has ever defended me. People can be around and yet no one does anything. At their best, they ignore it. At their worse, they watch. It induces a rage I still can’t explain, a fear I often feel and a pain that seems generational.

It’s the black woman’s Catch-22. ― Julia Craven

“Support The Girls”

Magnolia Pictures

Lisa (Regina Hall) often reminds people that she works at a “family place,” insofar as the Hooters-type watering hole she manages does not allow the predominantly male clientele to harass waitresses. As it turns out, the establishment is family-like, at least in the way its female staffers protect and fortify one another — a fitting theme for a movie titled “Support the Girls.”

Andrew Bujalski’s new film is one of those indies that comes out of nowhere and lights up the screen, the perfect cap to a wobbly summer. When a sports-bar chain comes to town, the forces of capitalism threaten to nullify Lisa’s mom-and-pop restaurant. The hourly-wage sisters who maintain the Texas joint are doing it for themselves, and they’re lucky to have the patient, affable Lisa as a lodestar amid the careless dudes in their paths. Hall gives an Oscar-worthy performance, delicately screaming into the void alongside Haley Lu Richardson (“Edge of Seventeen”) and Shayna McHayle, better known as the rapper Junglepussy. When she’s finally had enough, Lisa tosses a middle finger to the sky, a rare release for someone who’s burdened herself with always needing to keep it together. We’re right there with her. ― Matthew Jacobs

Bowen Yang

Bowen Yang may not be a household name, but you may as well learn it now.

The comedian and Vulture host became a viral sensation this week after a handful of celebrities — including Chrissy Teigen and Sarah Silverman — tweeted out some of his lip-syncing videos.

Yang has been uploading clips of himself lip-syncing various pop culture moments since May. But his most recent video, of him imitating Meryl Streep as Miranda Priestly in “The Devil Wears Prada” is what has put him on the map. It’s flawless, funny and just a delight to watch. ― Saba Hamedy

Terrific Human Mariska Hargitay

Academy Award-winning actress Hilary Swank got married this week. She looked lovely in Elie Saab with custom Christian Louboutin shoes. Her husband looked dapper. There was a tap dance! The wedding looked like it was ripped right from a high-class Pinterest page. But the best part of Hilary Swank getting married this week was actually Terrific Human Mariska Hargitay.

One of the photos featured in a Vogue gallery on Swank’s wedding shows Hargitay lurking in the background, seemingly holding up Swank’s veil as part of her duties as maid of honor. Swank and Hargitay are known BFFs, but still, could you imagine having Hargitay around on your wedding day? To give you pep talks, or hold up your dress while you pee or dab the sweat off your forehead after dancing too hard? For sure she’d make sure your Champagne hand was never empty. Congratulations on that, Hilary Swank. ― Paige Lavender

The R-Rated Puppet Movie That No One Liked

DAMON DAHLEN/HUFFPOST

Priscilla Frank with her date at a press preview of “The Happytime Murders” on Monday in New York. 

Some critics have deemed “The Happytime Murders” the worst movie of the summer, if not the whole year. Other people, like my colleague Priscilla Frank, have called it “the only movie that mattered, and the only one that ever will.” Listen, I probably won’t see the film, but I will scroll through photos of Priscilla and her Puppet Boyfriend performing nose kisses in an empty theater at least a couple times this weekend. You should, too. ― Katherine Brooks

Christian Covington’s Very Lifelike Madden Character

Guess I have to accept the fact that I’m ugly now…. Say it ain’t so Madden…. smh pic.twitter.com/fTcmitdrEw

— Christian Covington (@thetangibleC4) August 22, 2018

Who knew you could play as Shrek on Madden?

The difference between how Texans DE Christian Covington looks in real life and how he looks on Madden is basically the same as photos you post vs. ones you’re tagged in… if people were to draw faces on garbage cans and tag you in them. And like ogres and onions, this thing has layers: Is it so sweaty because it knows it shouldn’t be here? Does it look like a thumb? Is that mean to thumbs? With all the attention this has gotten after Covington poked fun at it, it’s only a matter of time before Madden tries to take this away from us like a bunch of Farquaads. So before that, farewell sweet prince. Like Shrek, may you live happily forever after. ― Bill Bradley 

Read last week’s Good Stuff.

http://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js !function(f,b,e,v,n,t,s)if(f.fbq)return;n=f.fbq=function()n.callMethod? n.callMethod.apply(n,arguments):n.queue.push(arguments);if(!f._fbq)f._fbq=n; n.push=n;n.loaded=!0;n.version=’2.0′;n.queue=[];t=b.createElement(e);t.async=!0; t.src=v;s=b.getElementsByTagName(e)[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(t,s)(window,document,’script’,’https://connect.facebook.net/en_US/fbevents.js’); fbq(‘init’, ‘1621685564716533’); // Edition specific fbq(‘init’, ‘1043018625788392’); // Partner Studio fbq(‘track’, “PageView”); fbq(‘track’, ‘ViewContent’, “content_name”:”There Were Zero Things Better This Week Than Beto O’Rourke’s Post-Hardcore Band”,”content_category”:”us.hpmgarts” ); fbq(‘trackCustom’, ‘EntryPage’, “section_name”:”Culture & Arts”,”tags”:[“@nonative”,”@health_gad”,”@health_pain”,”@health_depression”,”@health_adhd”,”@health_models”,”@health_hiv”,”@health_erectile”,”@health_ibs”,”celebrities”,”media”,”beto-orourke”],”team”:”us_enterprise_culture”,”ncid”:null,”environment”:”desktop”,”render_type”:”web” ); waitForGlobal(function() return HP.modules.Tracky; , function() /* TODO do we still want this? $(‘body’).on(‘click’, function(event) HP.modules.Tracky.reportClick(event, function(data) fbq(‘trackCustom’, “Click”, data); ); ); */ );