#all the water is piss

[urmomw4ntsme]

i want to be a fish sometimes theyre souch losers

[moongothic]

Okay so realistically speaking, giving birth is an excruciating, painful nightmare, and from the few Crocodad fics I've seen most people seem to prefer to write realistic pregnancy and make Luffy's birth a (physically) painful thing. Because it makes sense, it might be more relatable for some writers that way etc, and that's perfectly fine (like genuinely, it's not an issue at all, this is not a critique or a complaint)

God I don't know how to make this segue- Have any of you watched Ore Monogatari!! (My Love Story)? It's a great early 2010s romantic comedy series, funny as hell, super cute and sweet, would reccomend, but that aside. During the series the protagonist Takeo's mother gets pregnant and she ends up giving birth to Takeo's baby sister. And it's that scene, where Takeo's baby sister is born, that I keep on thinking back to whenever I wonder how Luffy's birth might've gone.

Takeo and his mother alike are Sturdy Motherfuckers. Like absolute gigachads, borderline superhuman, it's great and it's funny as hell. And because of that near superhuman nature... Takeo's mother goes to give birth at 4:15 pm. And she has finished giving birth at 4:16 pm. One fucking minute is what it took for this woman to bring a child into this world. An absolute legend

The screencaps do not do justice to how fucking funny this is in the actual episode

And so like

Like we know Crocodile's been through absolute hell, being an amputee and all. And as Domino told us at the entrance of Impel Down, we also know the man did not even flinch when forced into Impel Down's traditional 200 Celsius cleansing bath (or 392F)

So Crocodile has better pain tolerance than the average person. Like, you might have to put in a bit of effort to cause him actually hurt. So if giving birth to Luffy was an absolute cakewalk for Crocodile, not only would it make perfect sense in-universe and be completely in-character for him, but also

It would be objectively funny as hell

[axolotlclown]

I suppose I'm a little late to the party, but I needed time to collect my thoughts.

Here's the thing, everyone's caught up on Caiti's age and whether she consented. To me, that isn't anywhere near the point. Her being so young is certainly creepy and strange, but not the point.

Here's the first thing, though less important than the next. As an adult, it is blaringly clear how irresponsible these "adults" were. Two grown ass men supplying alcohol to underaged girls in a hotel room. They were up drinking until 6am. They were one noise complaint away from getting the cops called.

Second thing. While underage drinking in the US is fairly normal, 18 is still pretty young here. Also, publicly admitting to supplying alcohol to an 18 year old is crazy, but not the point.

18 year olds can't compete with grown adults when it comes to alcohol. They don't have the same tolerance. There never should have been any "one upping."

No one should have gotten that drunk. The fact that there was a girl leaving, vomiting in her hand is fucking ridiculous. When someone, regardless of their age, is drinking too much too quickly, you cut them off and give them water. This is how college parties are run. Once you start wobbling a little too much, your speech is slurred, and you stop being a person, someone gives you water and walks you home.

And nobody walked her back to her hotel room?? Two grown men. I don't give a shit how tired you are. You always walk a girl home. Who the fuck raised you??

I am an adult man in college. I have been around a lot of different men. I have hung around men that behave like this. Let me promise you this: they got those girls drunk like that on purpose. They both wanted something. When they didn't get it, they just let the girls go. They were never interested in their safety. They were never interested in who they were.

And let me promise you this: there's never just one girl. And any well brought up man would have cut them all off and sent them on their way. There is way more to this situation than lets on.

And of course George never asked for her consent. It was never a question. They brought those girls back to that hotel room with the thought that they'd get something out of it. To George, he heard 18 and thought, "oh cool, she's legal."

I see this happen all the time in college. Usually men don't grow out of all of it, but they usually grow out of begging like a shitty dog in some random girl's DMs. To hear a grown ass man, 26 years old, behave like a fucking 19 year old sophmore in college is pathetic. I'm not interested in giving pathetic men any more time.

Also, love and light to Caiti, she looks like she's 16. "I didn't know she was 18!" First off, doesn't matter. Second off, I would've guessed she was a minor, so I know you checked first. Or else you're even dumber than the fucking college kids. Damn.

[tothelasthoursofmylife]

S4E8: KuroTangled - "And for that one moment, everything was perfect..."

All those days watching from the windows All those years outside looking in...

All that time never even knowing Just how blind I've been...

Now I'm here, blinking in the starlight...

Now I'm here, suddenly I see...

Standing here, it's all so clear I'm where I'm meant to be...

And at last I see the light...

And it's like the fog has lifted And at last I see the light...

And it's like the sky is new And it's warm and real and bright...

And the world has somehow shifted...

All at once everything looks different...

Now that I see you...

All at once, everything is different Now that I see you

Now that I see you...

[aaandbackstabbed]

Scrooge: Goldie, I am not having anymore silly arguments with you!

Goldie: water is not wet.

Scrooge: how?! In the actual fuck-

[b4kuch1n]

frog documentation. frogcumentation

I think I mentioned a while back I'd post nibling frog momence after the gift's done given. which happened on the 2nd this month I just forgot lmao. anyways we can do it now. I used the boigameista pattern scaled up to four pieces of A4 print paper and decided to double deck it to a two layer thing, not unlike a pillow, for ease of washin. because it was gonna be gifted to a one year old child

took a long time and made a number of mistakes bc hand sewing makes me worse as a person but this guy was done in time for the birthday occasion and that's what matters. chose non-fuzzy fabrics for it because we live in a dense city in the tropics and from personal experience if I hug something made of fur I would explode. the original plan included felt patterns on its back for bonus textures for baby but that wouldn't stretch well along with the rest of the thing so had to hold that back. eventually we got this

zipper across its ass, the coat type of zipper bc I miscalculated when ordering. but it did have a shape and that's all that matters to me. will be a fun game for the baby to grow up and be severely misinformed about what a frog looks like

happy extremely late birthday to this thing also

[victoriartdrawings]

All the people complaining abt Katara not being 'angry', 'passionate' or 'raging' enough in the live action and then then you'll see Katara in s2 being the angriest motherfucker ever (against the fire nation, Zuko, or Sokka, even Aang... whatever they'll decide to do) and people will still be like 'wait. wait. no! nononono! angry, but not like that! '.

[sqlmn]

Lightning, water, and fire! Like forever before the plot starts. By the time the plot starts, the lightning and fire deities have been subjected to punishment by the two gods that picked them.

Oh (the fire deity) is first to be punished. They basically decide that since they're going to live for a long time, gotta set some long time goals! And they opt to be the wrath of the gods since most of the other deities are too 'soft' in their opinion. So Oh just. Smites humans. This isn't really a /good/ thing and in their defense mentally, they do it to help Ymber since he's the softest of them all. So their punishment by the gods is to be split in two, effectively halving the power of one into two. (Now they are in a male and a female body and use both male and female pronouns apart since they together make they but apart it feels weird to be they. But prior to the split they use they/them. Also the split bodies go by the names Ohiwe and Ohime.)

Fulj is the second to be punished. She falls in love with a mortal woman and that is a crime according to the gods. Mortals and immortals are not to be together and it will only bring suffering to both sides. So her punishment is her memories of the woman are stripped and her body basically broken to the point she can't remain physical all the time.

Ymber, unfortunately, is the one who blames himself for the discoveries and punishments. If he had only tried to restrain Oh more then maybe they would have chilled out and stopped before being punished. If he had only tried to persuade Fulj to not continue seeing the mortal woman so often perhaps she wouldn't have been punished. So he's just increasing the guilt on his shoulders every day that he remains unpunished since the elder gods have both laid down to rest. They can't enforce their laws anymore and none of the deities are keen on harming one another at this point. They just want to continue existing in peace.

[nametakensff]

Have you guys ever been so disgusted by family snz that you actually start crying

[mmmmalo]

If I ever finish my book, its subtitle will be "A Paranoid Reading of Homestuck" I think. Describes both form and content

Mobster Kingpin (whose bust is depicted by a mosaic of urban murals, who lords over the dollhouse world the heros inhabit) is located, like many of Hussie's villains, along the 4th wall, and his career of moonshinery seems related to a characterization of perception as the distillation of the perceived objects' essence -- Roxy's orange pumpkins give way to Dirk's orange soda, as one of the little ways their early relationship s premised upon a division between simplicity and abstraction. In Homestuck abstraction kills the simple (RIP Jaspers), and Dirk becomes a Daunting Text when he "sucks the fun out of shit. like a turd hungry dracula" -- a phraseology that returns us to the liquid conception of essence and points us to Kanaya, "rainbow drinker" being among other things a euphemism for the eyeball, which takes in color -- and insofar as troll reproduction is vaguely judicial in tone, the drones holding their buckets like scales, the Mother Grub seems posed in part as yet another threatening paradigm of viewership, demanding of you your essence. The earliest instance of this is in act 1: John's allusion to being allergic to the scorn of the peanut gallery is followed by a commercial for Hi-C Ectocooler -- a weirdly obtuse seeding of Her Imperious Condescension, whose character is downstream of a more general racialization of the 4th wall. Act 1 drags the sylladex into the fear of abstraction, first by having the narration express apprehension toward alien lingo like "captchalogue", and again when John drops the cat-killer, causing his arms (both fake and real) to be locked away in a box. Right? Right.

Dave shouts/throws his NINJA SWORD at a sticky fingered crow (crows would later, in a dream, act as Dave's personal 4th walls) and implicitly hurls an N WORD at a black figure, contributing to the comic's general air of racialized paranoia. A stupid pun, yes. Prior to this incident, there was a collision in Dave's hash map between NINJA SWORD and JUICE which, given the pejorative status of the former, suggested the latter might be an implicit JEWS. A stupid pun, yes. But as point 1 indicate, we actually have a pretty broad pattern of paranoia surrounding "juice"

The first time I became aware of possible antisemitism in Homestuck was a scene where Jack Noir commands all the Felt to get in the oven -- a couple readers wondered if it were a coincidence that the page had been published on Holocaust Remembrance Day, like a sort of hostile spin on the Christmas alchemy binges, or the New Years ball-drops at Jade and Jane's towers. With point 1 in mind in strikes me as curious that the (tentative) archetypally antisemitic archetype of the story would be the locking away of "juice" in a container, here invoked by the genocidal antisemitism of the Nazis. Likewise the way Lord English's manic glare often resolves into an 88 -- a number twice invoking the 8th letter of the alphabet H and thereby Heil Hitler -- would be consistent with the eye's general depiction as that which distills "juice". I had some anons wondering if the hints that the Mother Grub collects the blood of Alternia's children amounted to a blood libel smear, and I still don't know tbh, but we've apparently problematized rainbow drinking from another angle, so cheers to that

That the hostility towards abstraction might be among Homestuck's ciphers for antisemitism casts a different light on John's sharp rejection of psychoanalytic paradigms and "psycho-babblery"...? Like Freud is being invoked partly for his Jewishness... and that Freud's widely considered indefensible is utilized to let the antisemitic antiintellectualism pass through smoothly, I guess...

[thatbitchsimone]

How do you deal with holiday guilt?

I’ve been eating so much the last three days and all the food I rarely and never eat (chocolate, white bread, meat, butter, sugar) and I’m scared I’ve gained a ton of weight!!!

I know I should indulge because it’s Christmas but I feel like it’s gonna undo my healthy routine and eating habits for some reason. I’ve never felt this full but I want to eat more.

Anyone else feel like this and do you have any advice?

omg just eat the fucking christmas food and then go back to ur normal routine when christmas is over like everyone else like what is there even to feel guilty about

[sexynetra]

[eywaseclipse]

Something I love most about this scene is the absolute chaos it caused. Really the chaos Neytiri Jake caused. She knew ramifications of mating with a dreamwalker. Sure having physical relations with one is one thing, but to mate under Eywa? And while betrothed to another man? AND to be future Tsahìk of your clan!? Muah. Love. I always loved how stubborn and defiant Neytiri was.

Impulsive too. She was confident saying “this little himbo belongs to me now”, in a way the first clip is her showing him off proudly as an act of defiance to her parents, either out of spite or (unintentionally.) She didn’t think through any of the consequences this act would have on herself, Jake, or Tsu’tey. Not to mention what it would do to the family’s legacy and clan’s future. Mating with Jake jeopardized everything, yet she still stood confidently and looked Mo’at in the eyes and said it was done. There’s a deleted unfinished scene where Mo’at says if Neytiri went down this path she could never be Tsahìk and that her life would have been wasted. Makes you think about the cultural implications of this whole mess. And what it does to Tsu’tey and the clan’s future. But Neytiri said “nah he’s staying” lol I love it.

[eastsidepapi]

We live in Hell

[casketvamps]

i'm like 99% sure this is a bit from 6teen, but what i wouldn't give for an episode of metalocalypse where skwisgaar is devastated to learn that he sucks complete shit at guitar hero. just absolutely heartbroken and pissed off. it's the end of the world because mr. fast fingers wizard can't hit orange button

[stitches-and-sewer-water]

Well, this is gonna be my last time talking about what happened with Wilbur and I want to put it to rest here.

With it now being 100% confirmed to be him and with his dog shit apology I want to make it EXTRA clear that I despise that man and do not support him whatsoever.

I may still interact with characters he's made IN THE PAST (aka bursonas and c!wilbur) but I will not be talking about anything he could make in the future.

This has been a massive smear upon a large portion of my life, my inspirations, my interests. As many could be traced back to that overgrown weed disguised in human skin.

But I'm going to take something away from all this. I WILL be better than him, I will be everything he despises and be proud of it.

Ultimately, it's ok if this situation hurt to deal with and if you struggle to remember anything he's had his hands on.

But please, remember you aren't him. Those memories and experiences you had, despite being tainted now, you can still look back and smile. There's no shame in that.

But it's also important to remember him for what he really is, an abuser, simply put.

You can still move on in your life, you can still look back with happiness, and you can still hate what he truly is. All these can and should coexist.

As for me, I'm doing better about all of this. It still hurts, believe me. But I'm not going to sit down and wallow.

I'll consider this the time to take a bow and prepare for my future, I'll be more real to myself than ever.

It's time to keep going forward, at least for me.