#all this guilt tripping and pressure to do things this very specific way it's so suffocating

[la0hu]

love my housemates for unanimously being "yay go to japan!!!!! :)))" and also being like "don't tell your family until you are literally there because they don't deserve to know. power to emma"

[nyctoaerah]

yandere satosugu x female reader? can you do jealousy headcanons (like what makes them jealous and/or what they do when they get jealous)? sorry if that wasn’t specific enough!

╰┈➤𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: Yandere behavior (duh) murder, possessiveness, gore. (Ooc maybe) satoru being an oa little shit. Poly relationship.

╰┈➤𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: Yandere! Satosugu x Fem! Reader

╰┈➤𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄: WHAHAHA i didn’t knew if you wanted it to be separate or not anon, you said satosugu so i immediately assumed that it was a threesome. But heree, some hc’s:33 sorry pookie, i got lazy on suguru’s part:< SJAKEKSKA i did this first cause hc’s are the easiest to write💀💀💀

Masterlist

🔪Satoru struggles with pervasive jealousy issues, particularly when it comes to you and Suguru.

🔪This dude is like the embodiment of jealousy. he’s so envious he’s practically green with it. Hell he’s even jealous of himself. There was this one time he bet he could pull off dressing up as a girl for a dare, and oh boy, did he go all out. But then he got all pouty when you gushed all over him and got all touchy, something that you don’t really do often. And his reason of getting jealous with himself? He thought that you prefer him as a girl, like hello? you were supposed to prefer the original satoru and not his genderbent!

🔪But seriously, this guy’s jealousy knows no bounds. If Suguru flashes a flirty grin at someone else, bam, jealousy strikes. And if you dare compliment another soul? Jealousy overload. You hugged another man that isn’t suguru? He’s trying to force himself not to throw hands. This dude craves all the attention, all the affection, like a toddler hoarding toys in a playgroup. He’s aware he’s selfish, probably knows it’s not the best look, but he’s powerless against the possessiveness that overtakes him when it comes to you and Suguru. You both have this unique power to bring out the best and worst in him, after all, you two were the only one who sees him as “Satoru” and not as the “Strongest.”

🔪Satoru’s neurotic tendencies and jealousy issues stemmed from his messed-up childhood. The poor guy got stripped of his carefree youth and was thrust into the adult world way before his time after all. the jealousy bug bit him hard when he saw other kids having the time of their lives, while he was stuck with grown-ups fawning over him and expecting way too much and pressuring him. That childhood envy stuck to him like glue, and it grew into a full-blown mess when you, him, and Suguru became an item.

🔪The thing that grinds Satoru’s gears the most and the absolute worst, is when you and Suguru says something about other people’s eyes like; “Their eyes is so pretty” Blah, blah, blah, bullshit like that. It kills him inside that you don’t shower the same love on his eyes. His eyes are prettier, more powerful, and literally very unique, and you hardly ever mention how beautiful it is.

🔪Satoru absolutely loathes it when you’re completely oblivious to someone flirting with you. He’ll shoot menacing glares at the culprit when you’re not paying attention, as if daring them to keep it up, and he would end up threatening them.

🔪Satoru doesn’t bother in hiding his emotions, he’ll whimper, pout, and stick to you and Suguru like glue. And would play the melodramatic card, guilt tripping you. Or he’ll just straight up threaten you or tell suguru about how naughty you are.

🔪🔪🔪

Satoru’s head rested delicately upon your lap as your dexterous fingers ran through his snow white tresses. He gazed at you upward, sky blue eyes peeking from beneath his snowy eyelashes.

“Can you give me your phone for a minute baby? I just wanna do something”

Without pause for consideration, you obliged his request and gave the phone into his outstretched hand.

“Yeah, sure, here.” You responded with a hum.

“What are you gonna do with it, anyways?” You questioned, before your eyes widened as you saw how satoru’s digits hastened across the interface, focused intently on blocking specific contacts from further reaching your line.

“Huh, ‘Toru, what the hell?”

“Wait—why are you blocking them? Those are my—” Your words faded as Satoru lifted his head from your lap and moves away from you, his piercing gaze fixed on yours as he gently grasped your chin between his forefinger and thumb.

“Why do you always insist on conversing with them, hmm? Do you like them?”

“What— no! It’s not like that, what the fuck?”

“If you really love me and Suguru, then you have to sever ties with that girl/guy and keep your distance, okay?”

🔪Suguru really isn’t the jealous type, because he’s all about trust and loyalty when it comes to you and Satoru—He trusts you two.

🔪But, every now and then, a feeling of jealousy creep up inside him when he sees you and Satoru hanging out and having fun without him. He tries to brush it off though, understanding that you two are really close. He just wants to see his pretty lovers smiling, or at least that’s what he tells himself.

🔪When Suguru starts feeling jealous, it’s not a pretty sight. Beneath that kind and laid-back exterior lies a man who doesn’t really forgive that much. Suguru doesn’t forgive, and he doesn’t forget.

🔪Suguru may be a master at concealing his jealousy, but when it does surface, it’s like a storm crashing down. Picture this: you innocently text someone he’s really jealous of, and before you know it, your phone is pulled from your hands and tossed across the room while he summons a cursed spirit to destroy it completely, only to be replaced with a brand-new one moments later. Oh, and that person you were casually chatting with? It’s either you can consider them ghosted or consider them dead.

🔪Mentioning your ex around him was a big no-no. Because it immediately triggers him. can’t you just keep the spotlight on him and Satoru? One tiny mention of your ex’s name or Satoru reminiscing about his past flings, and Suguru’s mood immediately becomes sour.

🔪In stark comparison to Satoru, Suguru remains nonchalant about compliments being thrown around. He’s all for lifting people up until those compliments take a flirtatious turn. If that line is crossed, however, his cursed spirits will have its new meal.

🔪If Suguru was jealous and it led to an argument between you two, he would turn on his ultimate weapon—the silent treatment. He’d nonchalantly start hanging out with other people, making sure you noticed just to annoy you and make you jealous. He was well aware of his petty tendencies, but deep down, he simply wished for you to drop the bratty act and apologize.

🔪If you don’t really apologize and just pushed him over the edge... Well, you’ll have to say goodbye to your sanity because suguru is brutal as fuck when it comes to giving punishment.

🔪Unlike Satoru, who would guilt trip and manipulate you, Suguru would take it up a notch on the intensity scale. He wouldn’t shy away from using violence after all. And that doesn’t only apply to the person that he’s envious of, that applies to you too, and satoru. But that’s the difference, Satoru is a good boy, and you’re not.

🔪Suguru would be more than glad to kill someone in front of you and force you to watch it after all. He’ll hurt you too if you thrash and scream instead of being a good girl.

And you can’t really escape the both of them, after all, their love is like a noose.♡

🔪🔪🔪

Suguru’s hand forcefully clamped over your quivering lips, stifling any cries that tried to escape. His breath was hot against your skin, his fingers digging into your flesh with an iron grip, rendering you immobile. The metallic tang of blood invaded your nostrils. Your eyes were wide with terror, pupils shrinking, and your pulse quickening. A sickening view of gore played out before your horrified gaze, crimson splattering the walls, each nauseating squelch echoing through the room.

“I told you to stay away from them and you didn’t listen...” Suguru whispers, his breath hot against your neck, his delicate mouth parting to suck hard upon your pulsing skin, his mouth works its way slowly along your skin. And you shudder involuntarily beneath his touch, fear coursing through you as his lips close around a patch of flesh, sucking hard.

“See...? This is what happens when you disobey.”

The sharp prick of his teeth sends bolts of pain ricocheting through your body. Your already unsettled stomach lurches violently at the sight that greets you as you raise your head, struggling against his grip.

Before you, bound fast to a wooden chair, was the friend you had jokingly flirted with. Tears stream unchecked down their pallid cheeks, mingling with traces of dried blood, as their cries continue to ring in your ears.

Every limb was callously severed, Their bones was protruding out—the metacarpal bones, the carpal bones, the humerus, the ulna, the fibula, and other bones,  Their arms and legs are covered in long, vivid scarlet lines that are three inches wide, intersecting each other in a crisscross pattern and the wounds appear to have breached the surface of their skin, While suguru’s cursed spirits feeds on their severed flesh.

With a low, self-satisfied hum, Satoru drags the tip of the scalpel upwards your friend’s cheek, cutting them and the skin opens, revealing their inner facial muscle. He then reaches out to grasp a fistful of your friend’s hair, yanking their head back sharply to force clouded eyes up to meet your own.

“Suguruuuu, what do i do next? Do we gouge their eyes out for looking at our pretty girl that way?” 

“Do it. She said that she likes their eyes anyways... She’s probably implying that she prefers their eyes over yours.” Suguru smirks, humming as he pressed his body against yours, enjoying the way satoru’s face suddenly fell.

“Haah... Looks like i’ll be enjoying gouging their eyes then.”

[factual-fantasy]

Here is your reminder that the Octonauts fandom is going to be PATIENT, will RESPECT your boundaries, will WAIT for your possible return to the fandom, and will NOT pressure you into anything. Any Octonauts fan that does otherwise should not count, because they clearly do not know what it means to be an Octonaut.

An Octonaut is patient, kind, helpful, and respectful, even if things don't go the way they want it specifically. They will care for the creatures(in this case, people) that come to them regardless of how they want their day to go.

Octonauts are selfless; they do not let what they WANT get in the way of what others NEED. They do not prioritize themselves over others. If you never return to the fandom again, THAT IS PERFECTLY FINE. Because that is what I'd best for YOU. It may disappoint some, but as long as you are safe, happy, and healthy, it should not matter what people WANT out of YOU and YOUR art.

If you do decide to come back to us, then we welcome you with open arms. There aren't enough of us to form an overall opinion about the fandom, and sadly bad experiences can taint the entire look of our community.

Trust me, I've had PLENTY of bad experiences myself(probably TMI, but I once had someone DM me to roleplay something where them as Captain Barnacles had insomnia, anxiety, depression, PTSD, and a crap ton of other things and I as Shellington had to comfort him and whatnot. And then Captain Barnacles got his arm ripped off and they never messaged me again. This was on WATTPAD. They have since removed DMs, and I can see why. So bad experiences can definitely ruin one's image of the fandom.)

But if you enjoy the Octonauts and that's what you want to draw, don't let idiots stop you!! Octonauts do not discriminate and any hateful person who calls themself an Octonaut never truly learned what it means to explore, rescue, and protect.

An Octonaut is meant to protect and care for their communities, and unnecessary aggression or rude comments should not be tolerated!!! Not by you or by us! Guilt tripping is not good either!

AND: Remember to drink water, eat food, get some rest, and take time for yourself! Have a lovely day/night factual :3

<XD The Octonauts fandom is a tough subject for me for a lot of reasons.. I guess now would be a decent time to finally open up about some of it..

To start, I have had more art theft/reposters, art tracers, copying/heavily adopting all my headcannon/design choices.. in the Octonauts fandom, more than every other fandom combined. Including FNAF. 70% of the time when someone shows me an account that has reposted my art? Its one of my Octonauts comics.

I'm pretty protective of my work and I like to keep things to myself, so having all of these happen so frequently in this fandom has kind'a spooked me away..

And I get it, the fandom is not that big. Chances are when someone has a different/unique/good idea, everyone is going to adopt it into their Octonauts universe. I get it.. but that doesn't stop me from feeling really uncomfortable about posting Octonauts artwork. And I also get that a lot of the people in the Octonauts fandom are really young and don't realize that reposting is theft, or that blatant tracing is theft. That doesn't stop it from being really frustrating to see and very discouraging.. especially when you say "hey, you traced my artwork, please don't do that.." they just straight up don't listen 💀

What's frustrating is that despite not having posted anything Octonauts related in a long time, I STILL deal with constant theft and art tracers. I had to block a few recently after they denied clearly tracing my art and refused to take anything down.

Not even to mention the people who have bashed me for not head cannoning Kwazii or Calico jack as trans.. I totally understand that its a widely accepted headcannon, but my Jack is just a rare male calico and Kwazii is a regular male tabby/calico mix. The constant "why dont you draw kwazii with top scars?? are you a transphobe?? stop misgendering kwazii he's trans!!" is really annoying..

Another thing that really bothers me is the constant crab comic asks. Despite explaining multiple times that I do not want to continue drawing that comic, I still get constant asks like this,👇

This was sent after a simple eye study of the Octonauts. And it said that I'm still on the fence about Octonauts. What part of that post makes you think I'm gonna go back to the crab comic?

I understand that a lot of these people are young and just don't understand that all this stuff is wrong or could be making me uncomfortable. But currently I just don't have the patience to deal with all this junk.. So until I can get my patience back or find a work around for this, Octonauts is officially back on the shelf. 😔

[kitkatopinions]

Pyrrha, for the rewrite challenge

Alrighty, this one will be fun! Here's the thing about Pyrrha, I love her, but I don't know if I would write her to survive the fall of Beacon in a re-write. I go back and forth on it. So I'll write up to the fall of beacon, and then I'll write an 'if Pyrrha lived' thing too, because I just can't choose. XD

So, backstory for our girl. For a long time now, I've headcanoned that Pyrrha's parents were kind of like the Hunter version of pageant parents. I'd have it so Pyrrha's semblance was discovered when she was a toddler, and her parents started to make her do daily exercising, take daily fighting lessons, watch old Vytal tournaments, and started trying to build her up a brand to make her into 'the world's best huntress' as early as possible. (Also she'd be doing 'semblance training,' because in my rewrite, I would make semblances something that takes effort and training to use effectively.) I'd make it so that Pyrrha had a slow building resentment to her parents and the future they envisioned for her, but they put a lot of pressure on her to continue, insisting that she loves combat and has a duty to help people. So, Pyrrha would spend the first fifteen years of her life kind of just doing what her parents want, erring on the side of rich and feeling like she can't complain because of all the nice things she has, but also not happy. And she wouldn't have any friends, always too busy with training and brand deals and stuff to make or keep them (though I'd make it so that she and Neptune know each other from the combat school in Mistral. XD) Pyrrha's first big choice that's outside of what her parents want would be attending Beacon instead of Haven.

As for her time at Beacon, I would first introduce Pyrrha not right after Jaune comments about wanting to find a cute quirky girl, but as someone who seems eager to learn and inspired by Oz and Glynda at when they address the students. I would still make her partners with Jaune in their first challenge, but I wouldn't have Pyrrha teach Jaune how to fight alone. I'd make it so that Team JNPR and RWBY figure out pretty easily that Jaune (although less clueless than he is in canon) can't fight very well, and Jaune, Ren, Pyrrha, Ruby, and Yang keep covering for him and insist on helping him learn, and Weiss and Blake reluctantly get pulled into it. So it's actually a group thing that helps establish a bond between Team RWBY and Team JNPR, rather than like... A ship thing. I would also make taking Cardin down a peg into more of a victory for Pyrrha thing rather than making it all about Jaune while she secretly helps from the sidelines. I would have it so that even though Cardin still bullies Jaune, he also picks on and disrespects the other mains, and Pyrrha frequently rises to the challenge and 'embarrasses' him, and Cardin's misogynist vibes from canon turn into blatant misogyny, lol, and Pyrrha figures out a way to get him suspended or maybe even expelled eventually. I would also start setting up her and Weiss as having crushes on each other around the dance arc, having Pyrrha's crush on Jaune still present but not reciprocated, and having Pyrrha wind up with a romantic moment with Weiss rather than pairing Weiss off with Neptune for that. I'd make it so that Pyrrha's family also is trying to get her to do all this stuff she doesn't want to do, and she confides in Weiss about it and that kind of makes Weiss think a bit about her own family and what she wants.

Then we get to season three territory, and I would use the whole Maiden thing ("Guardian" in my rewrite) to give Pyrrha a stronger connection to Oz and Glynda specifically, and make Oz really contrast her parents by assuring Pyrrha that going through with being a Guardian is her choice and her choice alone, that she doesn't have to do it, and really is just guilt trip free. I'd have Pyrrha keep it from her team, and instead confine in Weiss what's going on without specifics (to get Team RWBY more involved in inner circle stuff earlier.) Then maybe Weiss would be the one who goes with Pyrrha when she goes to become a Guardian during the fall. If I had her die, those are the only changes I'd make, and I'd have her death impact a lot of people outside of Jaune, specifically Weiss. I'd also have a funeral for her that Ruby and JNR would attend at the end of V3 before they set off on their mission but Weiss, Yang, and Blake have to miss due to their respective issues, which is a wild missed opportunity in canon.

But if I did have Pyrrha live, I still wouldn't have her be involved in the main story for a while. I would have her lose to Cinder and nearly die (which is what Ruby sees and triggers her silver eyes still,) but be taken to Atlas by Ironwood to receive critical care. Ruby would tell people what she saw, leaving most people certain that she's dead and Jaune one of the only people who insists she might still be alive (I do like Jaune as a concept, I'm not gonna give him nothing. XD) Pyrrha would take a while to recover, but then start working to help Ironwood in Atlas, not attending school there and instead tutoring directly under Winter and the Ace Ops. She'd be more serious and subdued after her near death experience, and not very sure of herself, leading her to not take the offer of becoming the next Winter Guardian and instead having Penny slotted for that role. And Team RWBY and co would be shocked to meet her again when they were brought in on Ironwood's plans. Then I'd have her kind of act as a bit of a bridge between Team RWBY and Ironwood and the Ace Ops along with Penny. And I might have her be on Team RWBY's side while Penny is on Ironwood's side when they have their split (though of course I'd give that heavy editing and not make Ironwood a villain.) But also as for Pyrrha and Weiss... I'd have Weiss have moved on and now have stronger feelings for Yang, and Pyrrha would have to deal with and accept that. I might find someone else to put Pyrrha with eventually... But yeah, her and Weiss wouldn't end up together.

That's my plan, anyway.

[voxofthevoid]

Re: the person who had a hissy fit about your fic on AO3 not having the tags they wanted... these people DO understand that tags are a courtesy, right? Like, you don't HAVE to tag anything at all. It's a COURTESY that writers tag as much as they do, and if there's something that the reader is particularly bothered by, even if it isn't explicitly tagged for, then assume it has it! Don't assume it's safe!

VERY GOOD QUESTION!

Honestly, no, I don't think they understand. Or bother to. I'm not expecting anyone to memorize the ToS, but it'd sure be nice if people would at least check the tagging FAQ before showing their entire unwashed ass in the comment section. To be clear, I'm talking about entitled demands and other nonsense, including weird guilt-tripping bullshit and attempts at peer pressure. Polite requests and dialogue are encouraged by the archive itself, though individual mileage may vary.

A general rundown, not directed at anon but for those unfamiliar with Ao3's content policy: The archive leaves damn near everything to author discretion. Some things are mandatory, like accurate language, fandom tag, rating, and main warnings—the latter two, however, can be opted out of via "Not Rated" and "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings," respectively. Even if you make a mistake in these, Ao3 will contact you first, and if you don't respond, they may recategorize or hide a work; they have specific policies for this too, which can be found in the FAQ linked above. Point is, the entire Additional Tags field is optional. So are the character, relationship, etc. fields. You are fully allowed to tag as much or as little as you want.

From the reader end, a lack of information is also information; it lets you know what the author is willing to tell you before you enter a story. If, for instance, you want to avoid all underage fics, don't touch stories tagged with "Underage" or "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings."

I'm fond of extensive tag usage, but it's this freedom to tag how you want that I value more. It accommodates all kinds of writers and readers: the minimalists and the ramblers, the risk-takers and the cautious. Both what's there and what's not there are telling. Having preferences for how tags work is one thing, but dear god, the entitlement you see these days is something else.

The reason I switched to using Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings was that I kept seeing people say that writers using "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings" for stories regardless of the content was denying them fics they had a right to. Fucking fuck that. I stopped tagging top/bottom for a similar reason, though connected directly to hypocrisy rather than entitlement alone.

What I've been seeing, both in my comments and in general fandom spaces, is an increasing number of people who want their specific tagging tastes or expectations to be followed by all writers. The writers' own choices don't matter; it's all about catering to some rando without the manners god gave an algae.

The most egregious instance of it I've experienced was on a recent fic where I went out of my way to explain the sexual and romantic split in an unbalanced poly ship and still got people bitching (among other things) that they couldn't be arsed to expand a drop-down tag in the author's notes.

It's like the more you try to accommodate people, the more entitled they get. I used to add tags or even tweak bits of phrasing to make my readers as comfortable as possible. All that got me was increasing demands and entitlement. I've seen others share similar experiences. I take it as a learning experience in establishing and enforcing my own tagging habits and boundaries, but the entire atmosphere pisses me off.

The vast majority of readers are perfectly nice and polite. The minority comprised of pissrags are, however, loud and prone to ruining fandom as a whole. I'd say we're seeing the effects at the pan-fandom level right now, judging by fandom spaces I frequent.

...This got obscenely long. Oops. Sorry, anon! I've been pent up about this recently.

[just-a-carrot]

So, this may be a loaded question, and I'm sorry about that. But I really want to know, do you have any plans on what to do after OW ends? Like, any new stories?

It is completely 100% okay if you don't, especially considering you have a lot of things going on in your life, and you aren't actively trying to monetize your games. However, I just want you to know that your games mean so, so much to me, and many other people.

Our Wonderland has become an immense comfort to me over the past few months, and everyday I look forward to any new content you or others may post. That's not an exaggeration. Seeing OW content is genuinely a highlight of my day.

I know it can't last forever, but with the finale being so close I must admit that I will miss the story greatly. I'll probably keep replaying it and thinking about it for months on end.

I apologize if it comes off that way, but I'm not trying to guilt trip you into making more content than you want/can handle. I just want to tell you my honest feelings about the game, and the impact it had on me.

I hope, whatever the case is, that you'll be happy with your decision and that things will go well for you. You have created a genuinely amazing and beautiful story, and you deserve all the praise for it.

That's really all, Carrot. Please have a good day, and don't overwork yourself. You're an amazing dev. :D

THIS IS VERY SWEET?????

you're going to make me cry... this whole thing is so lovely 😭💕

i don't yet have any specific plans or ideas for once OW is finished. that's mostly because i never make future plans for anything LOL (i am scared of the future...). i do have random various ideas for potential things i could do once it's finished, but i would not be able to tell you when they would happen (or even 100% confirmed they would happen); they're more just like, little kernels of potential things sitting latent inside my head. these include:

The OW remaster, where I go back through and make some of the earlier arcs better and more polish/redo some of the art (this has the highest chance of happening)

Maybe another random OW side game at some point??? I know I'm already working on OC now LOL but I have so many random ideas for these characters in my head that I don't doubt I will suddenly get inspired to do yet another side game of some type, tho I don't know what that could be yet. I imagine it would be something of a different vibe than OC since I'm getting all my bittersweet-fluff-needs out now LOL

Game jams... I don't have any specific ideas for game jams but because they're always going on, there's always the chance I'll get a random little idea for one. Particularly when O2A2 rolls around again next year as it's such a good opportunity to work on something small and different. Or maybe next Spooktober (though I'd need a really good idea for that as I would feel a bit pressured to make sure it's good LOL)

A new project? I have an idea for one that's been tumbling around in my head for a while now that's more of a dark fantasy vibe. If I start to get the story for that a bit more developed in my mind I may eventually start working on it or at least start doing some sketches to help me better figure out the chars

those are all my current tumbling thoughts. but again because i hate planning or thinking about the future, they're all just kinda vague and none of them are 100% confirmed (even if the remaster is something i'm pretty sure i wanna do)

sob it really means so much hearing that you feel so strongly about OW though. just knowing that there are people out there who look forward to hearing about my chars brings me so much joy, especially since i think about them basically every second of every day LKDJLFAKDSFA they've really been my life for the last 2 1/2 years, to the point where it's hard to even think about not thinking about them or game dev in general. so really thank you so much for your support and for letting me know this as it's so sweet and kind! 💕

[jessicanjpa]

Tips for fanfiction writers: boosting reader responsiveness

(Writers and readers, please add on!)

We've all seen plenty of posts about how writers often don't see the response from readers/followers that we hope for. We've all been there. And for newer writers especially, a lack of response can be very discouraging. What are some ways we can encourage people to come read and respond?

Ask for reviews. It's totally okay to have an author's note asking for people to review (or reblog, etc.). It's even okay to say how important/motivating reviews are to you, as long as you're not pressuring readers via guilt trips or threats. Just as you're writing for free, readers aren't obligated to give any response, so express your gratitude for reviews often.

Ask for specific feedback. Some readers simply don't know what to say. Give them some ideas:

-What do you think will happen next?

-What do you think of [new plot development]?

-What do you love most about [character]?

-Ask for constructive criticism if you truly want it, and be specific: Does this character's voice sound right? How is my pacing?

If you're open to a little audience participation, have fun with polls. Examples:

-Whose POV would you like the next chapter to be in?

-What's a scene or scenario you'd like to see in this fic/collection?

Make sure people see your work. Often. Post your fic updates on social media and reblog each announcement a couple of times, and then again a few days later. Readers live in different time zones, might only be online on certain days, etc. Think about how to make these posts eye-catching: experiment with text/titles, images, teaser quotes, brief summaries, etc. Make separate posts later on with just a teaser quote or one heart-wrenching paragraph (include a link to the fic itself). Link to certain fics/chapters in your regular headcanon posts. Make bonus content for your fics: art, playlists, moodboards, etc. In short, market your fic.

Watch your word count. Write the kinds of chapters you want, but be aware that many people won't stick with a chapter that's more than 3k words. On the other hand, if your chapter/one-shot is pretty short, consider posting the entire thing. (Please use a "Keep reading" line.)

Polish your intro. First impressions are important. Spend a little extra time checking your first chapter for grammar, paragraph breaks, consistent POV/verb tense, and general readability. Reading your work out loud is a great way to catch errors and smooth out rough spots. If you need an extra pair of eyes, try to find a writing partner or beta.

Give and take. Make sure you're reviewing other people's work. Promote fics you enjoy and think your readers/followers might enjoy too. Always respond to reviews (when possible) and make sure guest reviewers feel welcomed and appreciated, too.

Find ways to widen your appeal. Your readership might be limited if your fics are very AU, crossovers, focused on OCs or rarepairs, etc. Don't write what you don't want to, but see if you can reach new readers by stretching your wings a bit and reconnecting with the larger fandom. Examples:

-How would [scene in canon everyone knows] go down if these two characters had a romantic past? Or with this one difference in the lore?

-Challenge yourself to write a gapfiller scene that follows your AU but still fits in canon (mostly)

-Take advantage of holidays and fandom events/challenges, when readers are more likely to try something new.

-Try out "Meet [the OC's name]" posts. Be sure to connect them back to existing characters and themes/plot points the fandom will recognize.

Consider a collection. Like multi-chapter fics, one-shot collections have the benefit of allowing readers to get notified when you update. A one-shot collection is also a great way to keep your fics organized and accessible, and it can bring in new readers while also notifying returning readers.

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Please add on! Writers, what have you found to be effective in terms of growing your readership and encouraging readers to respond?

Readers, what makes you more/less likely to pick up a fic? What makes you more/less likely to review, reblog, etc.?

[winterstripes]

My "favorite" phenomena

When I'm too socially exhausted to answer the first 10 dms, or I'm asleep, or offline, or Do-Not-Disturb, or visibly busy playing a game or streaming art-- Or for example any singular person has sent 10 dms in sequence without yet getting a response-- and then seeing "So-and-so is typing..."

Its one of those times I have to wonder if I'm giving off the wrong vibes because it doesn't feel like a healthy social relation at all- especially not on my end wherein I feel like an emotional babysitter who's some sort of attention and head pats dispenser.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Okay I lied, this is very much so my least favorite phenomena in my life currently. (or at least a close second with 'people who don't warn you they're drunk / on drugs before hanging out')

For my business, for how I was raised, kindness is an automatic response. In that same way a waiter's job is to be friendly and kind no matter how annoying, poor-mannered, and messy a table is- I feel like there's an amount of annoying I have to put up with in the position as a public figure(?) of sorts, or at least as someone with an audience. Its almost as though each person who sends volleys of messages like this assume they're not only being completely healthy about the interaction but must also be the only one doing it

If I do end up taking personal time the guilt trips begin as though only my direct personalized approval drives them to create, and without it they have a blame figure as to why they'll never draw again. The classic being this exact phrase with this exact wording "Long time; no talk." followed very specifically by more pointed interrogation as to my whereabouts and failures to respond in timely fashion.

=-=-=-=-=-=-= That's the part that really gets me I guess. It happens and there are only two real options which are 1) Put up with it and deliver an apology to each person treating me like a 24/7 on-call motivational speaker more or less daily-- or 2) Remove them one after another each time it happens and give up on my 'any artist is worth investing in'

The real hard part, I suppose, is desperately wanting to pursue that 'any artist is worth investing in' teaching mindset, but without respect for boundaries and privacy and even just having a day off its just not possible.

I think at some point maybe I had a big conclusion in mind for this but it really comes down to "respect artists' boundaries. Yes I may make dumb things, or cool things, or good or bad, I cannot be the reason that someone else creates though.

Its too much pressure and responsibility when I have to be my own inspiration first. Or at least, if I spend all my time taking care of others, I have no time to care for myself or the creative things I do.

[nightskied]

E. NILSSEN LEVIN : vocation , career , fallout.

liz had always been a pretty " artsy " type , but privately so , needing the space of freedom to cope through things . it was the one place that was hers without any pressure to be good . she could privately be bad at it , and beat herself up over it , or laugh at how hilariously bad she could get - and see if she could make it worse even further . it was fun and that was alright . of course , she quickly aimed to perfect herself , but the possibility to be bad and fail was there .

one of her earliest memories is her father teaching her how to look through the camera lens , and from that point forward god she adored the world through the lense . it was her way of digesting the world , things never made more sense than laid out in contact paper . she'd obsess over it : take a picture , write down every specification of the lense , the level , the hour , describe the frame , and then when she revealed them , spend hours comparing one thing to the other .

her father deemed it as a good hobby for her , and enjoyed seeing her delve into it , but when it really came down to who's who and what's what and liz said she wanted to take up photography full time once she was done with high school , her father shot her down . he'd never really done that , but he did that time and was unmoving about it .

truth was , liz had always been excellent in mathematics , physics and chemistry , and she had a knack for the cosmos , big and small . it did fascinate her , she had always been on the advanced courses for those subjects , more than for literature even - which was odd , considering she could always be found with her nose in a book ( even if , of course , at some point that book was the hunger games . then she'd return to her true homeland : deconstructed poetry , jane austen and , most of all , sci - fi ) . her father , good man but not free of faults , would rather see his daughter in a real career than taking up some little hobby . she had to make something of herself , it was time she stopped messing around and got down to it . of course she was more than welcome to keep up with it on her free time . but , college ? no , college was for real things .

then , when ezra came into the picture , one of the first things he did was convince her that she was no good for biochemistry . he encouraged the resentment she held for her father for not letting her do what she wanted to do . in return , liz took up some photography classes in college and dusted off the camera . as soon as she did that , ezra began attacking that too . what she did wasn't the point , it seemed , but the fact that she was doing it - which made it despicable , disgusting , mediocre , and why was she even trying .

from that point forth , however , liz didn't drop her camera again , and for a while she did both things . even when she was put into rehab , even when ezra disappeared once and for all , even when it seemed that the world was going to swallow her whole and she spent sleepless , very sober nights , in the library cramming for exams , she never stopped doing film and photography again .

she didn't dare defy her father entirely , which meant keeping up with s.t.e.m. , and doing her thing on the side , which was exhausting .

things changed , however , the last time things got bad after she came across ezra in a trip with friends , a year and five months after their break up . it was a spiral , a bad one , that led her down the path of any and all substances . made her miss all of her tests , then she lost the scholarship , and she never told her father about it . never told anyone about it , still went through the motions and began taking up debt because there was no way she would use her mother's guilt money ( plus , each relapse meant losing access to her autonomous use of the bank account ) .

eventually , she decided to drop out . still , hadn't told her father . probably wouldn't . if he asked , she'd deflect or lie or both , and that'd be that . at least , that meant she could take up photography full time .

[mylordshesacactus]

This got long so it’s become its own post.

I explained this to my seven-year-old cousin once when she expressed distaste over anyone possibly enjoying horror movies, and she understood perfectly, so adults have no excuse: 

People read dark fiction for the same reason they ride roller coasters. 

It’s a simulation of danger without anyone actually being under threat. It gets the brain worked up, releases a bunch of adrenaline into your system, you experience a whole rush of emotions and excitement and fear; but a safe kind of fear, where you know the danger isn’t real and there are dozens of measures in place to protect you. And then it’s over and you can get off the ride.

That doesn’t mean everyone is obligated to ride roller coasters. I, for example, am scared of heights, and most coasters are scary for me in a way that isn’t fun. The fear isn’t that I’ll die, the fear is of experiencing more of the ride and thus it’s not a safe fear, because it’s real and I have no control over it. As such, I don’t ride large roller coasters. But the fact that large coasters are not mentally or emotionally safe for me to ride doesn’t mean they should be illegal, or that there’s “something wrong” with anyone who enjoys them.

Similarly, sometimes accidents happen. Sometimes people have conditions they don’t know about until a coaster aggravates them in the worst possible way because they didn’t know to avoid it...and that’s no one’s fault. People have died or been injured in coaster accidents, and those accidents are pretty much always the result of human error, carelessness, laziness, or poor communication. It’s the responsibility of the amusement park to make sure that basic safety features are built-in and maintained--or at the very least (mangling the metaphor somewhat because this would obviously be illegal in real life) to make it clear that those features don’t exist! I feel like most people would avoid a ride clearly labelled “HAS NEVER HAD A SAFETY INSPECTION! NO RESTRAINT BARS! RIDE STAFF HAVE NOT BEEN TRAINED AND THERE ARE NO EMERGENCY SERVICES ON-SITE! OPEN FLAMES!” but if you click on a fic clearly labelled “author chose not to use warnings” you know the risks and they’ve met their obligation to warn you of them. And sometimes the people providing this content don’t perform that basic due diligence, and people get hurt as a result--but that’s on those specific bad actors, and doesn’t mean we ban all roller coasters. It also doesn’t mean every single ride operator on earth should be tarred with that brush, especially when they’ve openly spoken out against such practices! Furthermore, if you KNOW you have a heart condition and willingly get on a ride that says it is not safe for people with heart conditions, you cannot then blame the amusement park!

What makes roller coasters safe for me? Well, for one, the fact that I’m an adult now so my family has finally stopped trying to force me onto them. Pressure was a constant part of interacting with coasters for me for YEARS, and THAT fucked me up. There was “mild” teasing, frustration when I refused, anger if I changed my mind, and a lot of guilt-tripping about how it was my fault that they couldn’t go on the rides they wanted to because of me. That shit was not okay, and anyone trying to force someone to engage with content they don’t want to is obviously in the wrong.

The OTHER thing that helps me is content warnings the heroes who upload on-ride video of coasters I’m interested in trying. Knowing exactly what to expect--being able to see for myself all the drops so I can judge if they’ll be too much for me, and know in advance where they are so I can brace myself--can turn a ride that otherwise would have been a miserable and stressful experience that I chose not to subject myself to into a really good time. These are especially valuable, because what’s safe for ME is not automatically safe for everyone else. The only thing that makes a ride too much for me--my only hard limit--is extremely tall drops. I love inversions, fast twists and turns, I don’t mind rough coasters, it’s just drop height. But I’ve known people with medical conditions that made rough jolts dangerous, and plenty of people like tall drops but find tight turns and high speed overwhelming. Do I wish more coasters were designed to have the elements I enjoy without the ones I don’t? Yes, and not being able to find many frustrates me. But that doesn’t mean I expect everyone to have the same limits, or that I think people who design tall coasters with big drops and lots of airtime are malicious.

By this logic, actually, darkfic is much safer than roller coasters--once you’ve committed to a coaster you have to ride it out even if you change your mind. But the moment a dark fic or horror movie takes a turn you don’t like or becomes suddenly too real, you can turn it off and walk away.

And if you think enjoying roller coasters means someone will conclude that it’s okay to fling people off cliffs without their consent, then, well, in that case you’re just ungodly fucking stupid. Sorry you had to find out this way.

Have fun on those hypercoasters, you crazy bastards. Keep uploading ride videos for me.

[cinnamonest]

Misogyny/Sexism kink HCs/Fem darling HCs

This specifically is from a very long while back but, I’ve gotten a lot of similar asks over time for HCs for the kink for different characters. I started this post ages, forgot about it, and was going through my drafts and realized I never completed this one, so I went ahead and finished the unfinished ones and added newer characters too.

You ever make  something and then look at it like... huh, I really made this atrocity exist didn't I... I am responsible for these words... I will face judgement for them one day. I will answer to God for what I've created with no excuse for the sin I've wrought into the world. Neat!

This turned out to be more like gender-based HCs in general and attitudes towards fem darling but they're still awful and toxic and all those other wonderful things❤️ I made the more pleasant ones a bit shorter and the more awful they get the longer the entries get. But this all revolves around the kink in general. In case this, God forbid, somehow ends up searchable despite being untagged, and since this is probably the most sensitive kink I write for, just a reminder/warning to those that stumble onto this/aren't into it: this is entirely fiction. I don't believe or promote any of the values, beliefs, or practices mentioned here.

//misogyny (like seriously, that is the focus of this post, this is bad, you have been warned), noncon, lots of correlations between sex and physical identifiers/traits, yandere/noncon/kidnapping mentions, super toxic behaviors, mentions of cheating (from third parties/cheating fears regarding darling, not from the boys), pressuring/guilting into sex, psychological complexes for Albedo & Scara, pseudoscience, mentions of PMS/periods, victim blaming, gaslighting, manipulation, abusive tendencies, forced impreg/breeding

//also a LOT of slutshaming, since that's a core element of the kink, so be warned there's also a lot of discussion of a slut!darling with high promiscuity.

Under a cut for length (and to preserve what little sense of dignity I have left).

--------------

     Bennett, Gorou, Thoma, and Chongyun do the same thing where they're like. Over the top on making sure they're doing things the 'right way,' traditionally speaking. Like will accidentally trip you and knock stuff over bc they're in a rush to get to the door to hold it for you before you reach it. That sort of thing. Noooo don't try to pay for anything!! You're not supposed to do that!! Don't carry anything heavy, they're supposed to get it for you!! It's kinda sweet until it becomes obnoxious... like sir, I can perform basic tasks for myself please stop trying to help me.

They're the type to get mad at another guy for saying something bad and try to defend you. "All women are queens" type of boys, but so far it goes in the opposite direction and becomes almost demeaning because of the uncomfortable pedestal they put you on. Truly little white knights, bless them. They want to be respectful to the best of their ability.

-

Bennett goes heavier on the "noooo let me do that" thing. Poor adventuring partner. What CAN you do? He says he has to go into the dungeon first, it could be dangerous! No don't open the chest what if something jumps out at you? Let him fight the enemy, you just stand back, don't worry, he'll take care of it! You're just too fragile to have to do any of that stuff yourself, he could never sit back and let you do it, that would be wrong of him! What, let you make the FIRE? You could get burned! Besides, he can do it so much easier, vision and all.

This can backfire, very easily, because it's... him. No, let him carry the big heavy box, he could never just sit back and make you do that! Except that when he takes it out of your hands, he trips and breaks the entire thing. He insists on lighting the fire, only for it to start to rain in the process. He opens the chests, but they're always near-empty. But no matter how many times this continues to backfire, he will never stop insisting on doing things himself. He wants to feel useful! Is that really so bad? You'd break his heart if you ever pointed it out... like, he's aware of it nonetheless, but hearing you say it out loud forces him to come to terms with it.

 Also, keep in mind he's getting all his dating advice from his elderly dads. They're teaching him to do stuff that was normal decades ago, so expect a lot of overly-chivalrous behaviors, which he will rush to perform like his life depends on being able to hold that door for you, or give you his jackets and coats if it's cold, that sort of thing. To the point it honestly gets annoying, bless his heart, but given his sweet nature, you try to swallow the irritation at first, can't bring yourself to be mad... but that only encourages him.

 -

 Thoma in particular pedestalizes girls as a whole. He is that boy that thinks you're super capable, you can do anything a guy can do... and he feels the need to... remind you of that, all the time. You all know the type. Almost as if he wants to be recognized for being "good," wants his 'brownie points'... although realistically, he's looking for a more physical reward.

 Yes, that being said... our boy is down bad, he desperately needs his balls drained and will shamelessly try to obtain it. Thus, he also tends to have the sort of "being nice -> pussy" mentality, where he feels like if he just does enough nice things, eventually he'll get to put his dick in you. So much so that he goes overboard, makes you uncomfortable with the sheer number of gifts and acts of service being given to/done for you. The more desperate he gets, the more he lays on the "niceness," but it becomes very obvious very quickly exactly what he's so nice for. Not that he's consciously thinking so, he really, genuinely does also just naturally want to make you happy, but it would be a lie to say there isn't a significant portion of his brain being controlled directly by his dick. But he does everything with respect! He breaks into your room (respectfully), spies on you changing or showering (respectfully), takes every opportunity to let you go in front of him up stairs out of chivalry and respect, and may just take the opportunity to get a glance upward if you're wearing a skirt/dress (respectfully), drugs your drinks and food so you pass out and he can finally put his dick in you (respectfully!)... you get the idea.

 So yes, he's one of those guys that takes pride in being good. Granted, he's still a very humble person overall, but sometimes he seems to be a little too eager to remind you how much he respects you and is super chivalrous to you... like, almost as if he's not-so-subtly begging for something in return, which doesn't take a genius to figure out what that might be. I mean, in his mind, he's followed all the right steps, this is totally the part where you practically leap into his bed right?? If not, he keeps trying for a while... over and over. But to be honest, if it goes on long enough, he can get frustrated. Like, not that you don't totally have autonomy and all that, no, he'd never be entitled or anything like that! It's just that... since he's done so many nice things for you, it does kinda logically follow that he deserves something for it, don't you think? Not that he's saying you have to do anything for him! No, no, it's not like that at all. You don't have to do anything... it would just be really nice, you know, since he has done so much for you... no pressure.

 -

 To be fair, yin energy is associated with femininity, so, perhaps Chongyun reasons that in order to offset his yang energy issues, he needs a constant supply of it... logical thought process says he needs a sweet girl to have attached at the hip, to carry around like a good luck charm! So uh... he respects the independent girls and all, but maybe you, specifically, would be really well suited to a wifey life of doing nothing but being his and staying by his side all the time. You can help him with small tasks in his work, and calming him down when he gets too overwhelmed and hot! That's, um... empowering. Yeah, he also tends to take the route of "all girls should be free and empowered but here is my 1000-slide presentation on why darling is the exception--" you get the idea.

 Chongyun also white knights. So badly. It's embarrassing. He will unhesitatingly rush to your defense the moment another guy says something that could vaguely be interpreted as mean because he has to. He can't just let someone get away with disrespect! ...Even if you're practically begging him to leave it alone. He has to defend you, after all, not doing so would... well, it would look kinda pathetic, he can't have that. This is also true if darling is a stranger. Like, he white knights in general, because he's not about to let anyone be mean to girls on his watch!! He will definitely walk right up to some guy with an irritated glare to ask what they're doing to you, ask you if you're okay, fight them off if need be. It's only the right thing to do, he thinks.

 And finally, the whole yin energy thing... well, it has to be transferred to his body somehow. And he's been told the best way is intercourse. So, really, it is a very dire matter when he needs to bend you over the nearest surface, or push you up against a tree or the like. He respects you a lot and all that, but, uh, this is a very serious situation, you see, so maybe you can sacrifice that free will just this once for the greater good.

 -

 As for Gorou... well, he tries, but the issue is that sometimes biology takes over. Like, yes, he respects your right to your autonomy and freedom however-- it's... just that you told him you're not ready for it yet, but you see, he really really wants to breed you... so there is a conflict of interest here. Not that he doesn't respect you! But it's just that... he really wants it. So he may have to kinda set the respect to the side just long enough to shove his knot in you, then he'll go right back to being very respectful, promise, so it all works out right? He'll even apologize the whole time he's pounding his hips into you, that's how much he respects you.

 And he will help you take care of them, of course. But, uh, it may be something of a permanent occupation. He would never think that you're not good for anything else, of course, it's just that once you've recovered, he's definitely ready to stuff you again... and again... and due to his naturally very high doggie fertility, it usually only takes one try before he gets results. He thinks you'll be really good at the whole incubator-breeder thing. Not that you aren't a great fighter and all that too! But, well, technically since you have the parts, it's not too upsetting to say you were built for it, right?

 Likewise, he can't help but be defensive, protective. Not that he thinks you can't do it yourself! No, never, he just... gets really upset all of a sudden when other men talk to you. He doesn't really think about it, his ears just flatten to the side of his head and he growls out of instinct. Trust him, he's embarrassed by it himself, he just can't even think straight when that happens. He has to protect you, you know, you're his, so... oh, no, not... not like he thinks of you as property or anything! He just thinks of you as something that is just for him and no one else and that he has more of a claim to you than others, which is totally different.

  -----

Venti's issue is not really his attitudes or opinions or anything, he doesn't really have any that are too bad, and more his behaviors and the fact that every little thing he does to darling more or less all revolves around him being perpetually and insatiably horny.

 He has lots of respect for you as a female and your autonomy and all that... or so he says... but his actions tend to not quite line up with that because he's a nasty little perv with no regard for privacy or decency. He honestly thinks he's very respectful, if you were to ask him, because he doesn't realize that his habits of groping and voyeurism are in any way bad.

 Venti would be like one of those guys all for fair treatment and rights and all because they know that sexual liberation means they'll get laid more often, but still keep some sexist attitudes when it benefits them. Sexual autonomy significantly increases his chance of darling sleeping with him, does it not? In that case, well, it is the City of freedom! Honestly, that's probably part of the origin of the whole city of freedom thing, he probably decided Mondstadt should be a place where people are free to sleep with whomever whenever. ...Well, unless it's darling of course, darling should only be sleeping with him, darling just has the freedom to do so whenever she wants. Come on now, all rules (or lack thereof) have exceptions.

 But unlike the former four, don't except any shame or respect in terms of opportunities. He's shameless, and will take every chance he gets to get an eyeful, handful, or faceful of you. He already is a little perv and menace even before darling enters his life. Flipping up skirts with wind powers, spying on the nuns through the cathedral windows when they bathe or get dressed, copping a feel when he "trips" right into some tits. Unfortunately, once darling comes along into his life, he redirects all that perversion that was once spread across the entire female population of Mondstadt, onto one person.

 It's important to note that he uses his cute, somewhat effeminate appearances to get out of any real consequences -- over time, he's learned he can get away with it like that, so he has no shame and no hesitancy. He's not like those gross guys (who are, you know, tall, bearded, gruff-looking, everything he's not) in bars that grope and say gross things and get rightfully slapped or have drinks thrown at them, no, he can just flash a sweet smile and he's used to being forgiven for anything. He's not a big or intimidating guy, so most women he's ever interacted with or bumped into just roll their eyes or even find his behaviors a bit cute, ruffle his hair a bit and leave him alone. Should darling actually get mad about it, he can just get watery-eyed and let his head fall a bit... sorry... He didn't mean anything bad... you'll forgive him right...?

 That being said, it backfires against him. He enjoys using his youthful appearance to get his out of the consequences of his actions, but is taken aback when you consequently actually try to treat him like a teen boy or something. You should know he's way older than that, why are you talking to him like he's a kid, talking down to him as if he's stupid or naive? Or, gods forbid, you hit him with the 'you're like a little brother to me!' line, that would basically gut his heart out of his body. It starts to give him a bit of a masculinity crisis. Do you not take him seriously because he's short and slender? Do you not see him as A Man™?? Does he need to be taller? More muscular? It starts to get to his head. He has to try to make up for it. He'll start trying to be more impressive, trying to perform feats of strength and/or competency and make sure darling is watching.

 If all else fails, he can spring the revelation he's been planning for a while on you. After all, you'll totally respect him and fall for him if he has power, right? He's seen a lot of women that go for men with a lot of power. So revealing his archon status is a good step towards that. You probably wanna worship him now, right?? He will gladly accept, in fact, he has several highly suggested forms of worship that would be especially appreciated, if you'll hear him out...

 But in general, he can and will get very very pushy if he's still not reaching the goal. Oh, you're waiting for the right person or marriage or something? Something about purity or chastity? Well, you know, if it's with a god, it basically cancels out and makes you extra pure. You're worried about judgement? Don't worry, he'll never judge you (as long as the person you're sleeping with is him and not someone else, of course, in which case maybe you should just be judged for your taste in guys). He just pushes and pushes and talks his way out of every excuse you can give. He will stop at absolutely nothing, will go to any lengths, just to bust a nut in you. Please. What more do you want?

 In the end, he actually has very little respect for your autonomy and will, if it's what he doesn't like. His respect is a bit performative, and only lasts as long as he's under the impression that he's getting closer to his goal. Then he starts to test boundaries. You say you don't like touches, but certainly if he just keeps doing it, you'll get used to it. And again, he can always get out of your anger by putting on a cute face, no? That's the issue with that whole thing -- he's so used to it that he uses it as a default excuse to do bad things in the first place, the security of having that to fall back on makes him much more bold and willing to violate little boundaries until he can work his way in.

 Also, that whole "City of Freedom" thing backfires likewise if he realizes darling has been... taking advantage of that. Mondstadt's favorite bar maid or nun or whatever you are has a favorite pastime, and it's sleeping around? The horror. He's... conflicted... this is technically what he envisioned for this city, a place people could do whatever they wanted, but... but...!!! Darling's choices are bad for her, right? Maybe he can uh... appear to one of the nuns in a "vision" (think like he did with Stanley), pass on the divine message that they've had it wrong this whole time and promiscuity is actually like super duper bad. You can only sleep around as uh, acts of charity... for people in freelance occupations, such as bards, for example.

 ------

 Razor also has the best intentions, but it's... less wholesome than some of the ones above. It's just... he sees everything very naturalistically, very black and white. Definitely thinks of things in terms of "nature" being right because it's all he knows, so... Strength is the be-all-end-all determiner of position in his world. That's why pack leaders and the like exist, they fight for it. Why would you think you two are the same? You're clearly weaker. Your protests don't make sense. Do you not know? Here, he'll show you, see, he can pick you up and pin you down and you can't do either of those things to him because you're weak. Very weak! (He has been working on use of simple adverbs like that, please be proud of him...). So, now you understand why you're supposed to do what he wants right? What? What do you mean that doesn't matter? What else would you base these things on?? What are these "rights" and "free will" you keep going on about, and... "au-to-no-mee...?" You're just confusing him now.

 In all seriousness, with most gender-related things altogether, he just has absolutely no idea what you're talking about. This is especially true the more complex you're getting. He understands... that females are weak, and males are strong. That's... about the limit of his understanding. Anything beyond that is just met with a blank stare. He has no concept of things like autonomy, stereotypes, prejudices, anything of the sort. The only "right" he's familiar with is the opposite of "left" (and he gets which word is which direction confused sometimes). Nothing socially complex. Which, if you ask him, he knows all he needs to know. It sounds like these words you keep using are just things that only apply to humans that live with other humans in big cities and stuff, so it's pointless to talk about it when you live out here with him.

 This makes him somewhat frustrating to deal with, because he literally cannot be reasoned with. With our other boys, even if they staunchly disagree with you, see you as inferior, etc, you can still argue with them about it, still have back-and-forth dialogue, they still understand what you mean when you argue that you have the right to be free and do what you want, or when you accuse them of being prejudiced, even if they dismiss the idea. There's a catharsis in merely arguing and at least being heard, knowing the other person understands the meaning of your words. But that's not the case with Razor. You cannot have a discussion when he doesn't understand the very concepts in the first place, and this makes conversation on the matter impossible. Something about being trapped with someone on whom logic is lost, where your very valid points fall on deaf ears, is infuriating, as you quickly discover. It's like talking to a brick wall, except the brick wall may actually have him beat by a few IQ points.

 So, while he doesn't understand any of that stuff you go on about, he has another pressing concern, much more important than whatever you're talking about. You must have lots of puppies, and every second you spend not knocked up is wasted time in that regard. That's like the whole purpose of your life, right? That's the purpose of all life, to be fair, he thinks, either making puppies or having them, and he can get all the food you need and bring it back, and protect you from enemies! You just have to take care of the puppies. This is a good setup. It works for the wolves, after all.

 But back to general issues, or lack thereof, he doesn't really understand the concept of sexes to begin with outside of very obvious physical traits (he can distinguish a little bit, but only general traits that are not always accurate -- taller versus shorter, high voice and low voice, curved and not curved, and that's about it), and his vague, very limited understanding of social norms, so on the bright side you'll actually be free from some of the cultural expectations of women. He doesn't really care if you curse a lot or what kind of language/speech you use (as long as he can understand it, no big confusing words please), you won't be held to any standards of appearances, nor of "appropriateness" or "ladylikeness." It's a breath of fresh air compared to some of the others in that regard.

 He's just a little taken aback and confused when you don't want to cooperate with him, or more importantly, mate with him. He's never seen anything different... the males go hunt food and defend the pack from enemies, and the females mate with them and have the pups and nurse them and... that's how things go. He's just very confused by it all. Unfortunately, he has pretty limited patience and no real desire to understand, so ultimately he just gets frustrated and will force whatever he wants.

 Whenever you're still in the non-kidnapped stage, you really get a taste of that mating competition thing someone once told you about wolves. Again, he knows no better, he has no reason to think the humans operate any differently than what he's used to. Our boy is unnecessarily and instantly aggressive towards other men, glaring and even audibly growling just over the offense of them coming up to speak to you. It's rather embarrassing, really, since it's so obvious what he's trying to do and why. He stands super close to you, tries to physically stand in between you and other men. They keep coming up to you, no matter how many times he rubs your faces together and licks you to get his scent on you! Normally that is a clear warning sign between wolves that you're taken, but it seems the humans ignore it entirely, and it leaves him feeling uncertain of what else he can do... so he just becomes more protective and vigilant. God forbid another man were to touch you, because he takes that as a direct challenge, trying to steal you. Well, if they want to steal you away, they have to fight to the death first, which he's very willing to do at a moment's notice, not even the slightest hesitation.

 Finally, he also has no concept of chastity or promiscuity and won't ever think to ask if you've had other partners before, as wolves mate for life... but still, it's wise not to mention if you have. It... makes him feel something bad that he doesn't like. A bad feeling in his chest and stomach. He doesn't like thinking about it. He didn't even get to fight them! Is that why you're so difficult? Maybe he just needs to fight that other guy and kill him, then you'd like him a lot more once you know he's stronger... maybe that is the issue, that's why you're not being a very good mate, because he hasn't proven he's the strongest yet. Well, if you tell him where they live, he can bring the body back to you so you can see... but for some reason, you refuse to tell him.

 Also, thankfully, he doesn't use intellect against you, like some people might claim to be inherently smarter than you and thereby superior. He doesn't factor intelligence into his way of thinking at all, for, ah, obvious reasons.

  ------

I already mentioned Xingqiu being a sexist rich boy before (here) but like. Ugh. He is the most entitled little brat sometimes, underneath his generally pleasant demeanor -- it's more like he maintains that general niceness up until he stops getting his way.

 He feels like he can just buy you over because... girls like pretty things right? He sees it as a formula, you buy a certain amount of shiny, pretty materialistic things, keep giving them as gifts, and boom, you have a wife. What, what do you mean girls are each unique human beings with discernment and individual tastes?? They care about things other than just money and buying stuff? Well, then it becomes passive-aggressive commentary (read: not-so-subtle whining) about you being "complicated," why is there no easy formula to follow to win you over? After all, he has a very simple way to win him over, just be nice and obedient and worship him. How unfair.

 He's definitely used to a home environment where his mom was kinda a trophy wife, she's super submissive and obedient and does whatever his dad wants, and he expects the same from his cute little wife too. And of course, his mom always dresses very revealingly and sits in father's lap whenever he's meeting with business partners like a cute trophy to show off... and again, he expects the same. He's got this image in his head of how things will go, a sort of fantasy he's too naive to realize might not go as smoothly as he thinks, so he's genuinely baffled when you start off resistant. How unexpected. Maybe you just need to get used to being here? Maybe you're hormonal? Maybe he did something to make you mad and he needs to buy you something or do something to get you to settle down? Who knows what the issue could be.

 After all, he truly believes that the state of the women he's used to seeing -- submissive, quiet eye-candy wives that are extremely docile, agreeable, and happy all the time -- is the default state of girls. That's what they're naturally like, anything else is a disruption of their normal state that can be remedied. He is entirely unaware of, and has never considered, the possibility that maybe, just maybe, those women are sacrificing the freedom to speak their mind and behave the way they want in order to have a super rich husband... it really has never occurred to him.

 And if you tell him such, that you have your own thoughts and desires that don't revolve around what he wants, that the women he's used to seeing are only behaving the way they do for the benefits of their marriages, it leaves him somewhat shocked. Because, well, that does make sense, but it's just something incomprehensible. He reaches his own conclusion... perhaps, just maybe, he might be willing to accept that women are unique individual human beings, and not a monolith, as he previously believed. This is a big transition in his way of thinking, he'll have you know. In which case, you're still wrong about them -- that's how they are, all docile and sweet, you're just different. However, it does stand to reason, that you can be converted into being more like them. People are subject to change. So really, you end up back where you started, with him believing you just have to be won over with some set of actions that will eventually cause you to become the ideal he wants.

 He perpetuates the sort of system you're subjected to by participating in it -- his family more or less buys you by persuading your own family to give you over for a massive sum. Regardless of your background, the brat practically begged his father into securing you for him, which, if you weren't of an equally wealthy family, was quite the struggle to convince him, so hey, he's already put a lot of effort in you know? To be honest, the thought of you refusing doesn't really cross his mind... that's not how these things work. Even if you do, of course, getting your family to write such, his father just shields him from finding out about that rejection, and instead sends a second offer to your family... with a new, higher sum they can't bring themselves to refuse.

 And from the moment he... obtains you, he wants to show you off like a trophy, following that same example of what he's seen the men in wealthy social circles do, what he's observed his whole life. In the world of the elite, when you have something that makes other people envy you, when you have something shiny and new and want people to be jealous of it, you put it on display. Besides, it's sort of a masculinity thing with those types as well, the need to have a female on display as if to show off that look, this is mine. So he does -- puts you in clothes that make you uncomfortable, drags you everywhere with a firm grip and a smile, gets you to sit pressed up against him or on his lap when he meets with others. Also, rich people fancy clothing is heavy and uncomfortable, ugh. You never realized until now how many layers and unnecessary little pieces there are to this stuff.

 And what's much, much worse, is that you will be held to certain standards among his culture and class. He sneakily elbows you in the side when he introduces you to his friends as a quick reminder, because you were looking them in the eye when you're supposed to look at the ground when you speak to men who aren't him, taps your foot with his under the table when you make the mistake of forgetting that even when someone asks you a question, you're supposed to let him answer the question for you, unless he indicates otherwise. It's ok, he can excuse it the first time or two, you're just... getting adjusted. You didn't mean to do it. Just don't do it again.

 Honestly he doesn't outright tell you from the beginning that he expects obedience and compliance -- again, in his mind it's such a given, so ingrained as normal that he doesn't even think about it, and your defiance comes as a shock because he's never even really thought about such a thing. As soon as you're settled into forcibly married life, the first few days he just gives commands without thinking much of it... and is taken aback when you say no. He's not even certain that word is supposed to be in your vocabulary... It shatters the whole illusion of the submissive obedient wife thing. That's no good. But, ah, his father prepared him for moments like this. He just has to give you some money or a gift and an empty apology and then you'll be happy again. No? Ugh, you're being complicated again...

 He attributes it to a class or culture thing, if you're not from Liyue or simply not as wealthy. It's not your fault, you just came from... a less dignified background. Just give it time. Time and effort and reprimanding when necessary, but he trusts that you'll change and become the ideal wife in his head with time. And then, you'll stop bringing up all the dumb stuff you keep complaining about, like saying he's prejudiced or entitled, how you're in control of your body, blah blah... until then, it just goes in one ear and out the other.

 -----

 You'd think Kazuha would be one of the mildest offenders, yeah? Well, you'd be wrong.

 First of all, he's very, very unrealistic when it comes to projections of you in his head. When he imagines what you'll be like once you're with him, it's very idealistic and appeals to virtually every horny young boy's most eyeroll-worthy fantasies... but unlike most guys, he fails to realize how inaccurate to reality his fantasies are. He envisions this perfect "you" that never disagrees with anything he says, will do anything he asks, is always in a good mood, always affectionate, always horny, eager to go at it at a moment's notice. Always sweet and never mean. You'll hate every other guy that exists and only love him. He's quite disappointed to find out you're, you know, just like a guy, with varying emotions and moods depending on the timing and context. But that's okay. He still loves you. Even if he is disappointed.

 Then there's the actual negative things. The thing is... he doesn't realize it's bad. He's worse than Bennett/Chongyun/Thoma/Venti in terms of the actual things he thinks and does and says, but unlike some of the boys higher up on this list, he... doesn't even realize it might be offensive, the notion doesn't really cross his mind, it's so ingrained. He doesn't say anything in a degrading or authoritative tone. He says everything with that same soft smile and gentle voice as always, which makes the words themselves take a moment to process, and come as that much more of a shock, you question if you heard him wrong.

 If you're out wandering the land with him, camping out at night, he tells you not to worry, he can take care of the important stuff, and you can do the girl jobs, he adds with that same soft smile, pointing over to the fire and food you brought with you. You find yourself blinking, not sure if you heard him right... surely he doesn't seem like the type to actually think that way.

 And then, you start to think he thinks of you as fragile. He intervenes once, when you encounter very simple monsters on the road. No, no fighting for you... let him do that. It's mocking, really, even though he doesn't intend it that way -- he just can't help but sort of chuckle, you were actually about to draw a sword on those monsters, weren't you? That's so cute, you were actually going to try and fight them. Well, good thing he was here. You really make him worry about you, he hopes you don't actually think you could take anything on by yourself, do you...?

 And even after that, a few days later, you ask him why he can't trust you to at least go get the two of you supplies at least once... he tilts his head. Well, that's obvious, you'd go running off with someone else, as soon as you were presented with the option. It's okay, he knows you just can't control yourself, it's not your fault, it's just how you're... hardwired. Once again, said in that same soft, gentle voice he always has, as if he's talking about anything else, gives you a pat on the head as he speaks, not even noticing you staring at him in bewilderment. He says the things he says so sweetly, you have to take a moment to process before you realize how awful the words themselves actually were.

 When you get mad at him once, for a very valid reason, you quickly realize he has no intention of taking your anger seriously. He just smiles. Getting so upset over nothing... ah, are you hormonal today? Is it a cycle related thing? That explains it. Not for so much as a second does he seem to consider that maybe he was in the wrong and you have a reason to be mad. Your emotions and anger must automatically be due to something that invalidates your feelings, and is something he can tease and even belittle you for, in that soft way of his. This aspect is really bad, because you'll notice it repeats over and over, he never views your anger as valid. It's just hormones, a tantrum, or, as he once says when you get mad over something, just how you all are, getting upset over such little things... you don't bother to ask him what he means by that.

 When you finally snap at him about that specifically, he reacts with surprise. Why are you upset? It's not bad. What's that... You think he treats you like you're some kind of lesser?

 Well of course he does... with that same soft, precious little smile, and the slightest chuckle of amusement, he adds... because you are.

 You get another pat on the head as he speaks. It's not a bad thing. He's not sure why you're so upset about it. Everything has its place in nature, in the world, you're no different. There's no reason to get upset over it. He takes good care of you, and loves you a lot, so there's no need for you to worry about something so trivial. He doesn't even consider that you might find it derogatory or upsetting. It's just how things are. He thought everyone knew that? Why would that upset you? Besides, it's not like it causes you harm, it makes things easier for you if anything. You don't have to worry about the mentally taxing burden of making decisions for yourself. You can just leave that to him. He doesn't really get why this seems to make you upset, but if you're worried it'll make him treat you poorly, don't. He would never do that, so don't worry about it.

 It leaves you slack-jawed and somewhat shocked, but at first, you decide you have enough problems already, you can ignore him for now, as annoying as his attitude is. It becomes... increasingly difficult, once his thoughts start affecting expectations on you. You have been pretty docile and compliant thus far, realizing the position you were in and trying to earn your captor's trust, but that becomes more difficult with time. You start not wanting to follow the commands you're given (given so sweetly and with such a soft smile so that you actually didn't realize the wording was phrased more as a command and not a request until you stop to think about it...). You start becoming defiant.

 Oh... he feels some guilt. That's definitely his fault. He wasn't firm enough with you. Things... work best when everything performs its role correctly, you know? Couples also have roles, he thinks. Yours is to make him happy, be good, and take care of his needs, and his is to make sure you're safe and keep you in line, that's what he was always taught at least. So, really, if you fail at your job, it means he wasn't doing his right. So he'll have to be firmer with you, even though firmness is not his strong suit. He lets a lot of things slide, you know, you should probably be punished every now and then, for your own good. You may not understand it at the time, but it's for your benefit.

 Kazuha is also quietly a bit... critical (read: judgemental and insecure) of your, ah, choices. In a nice way! It's just... You know, when he met you, admittedly part of the reason he noticed you was because what you were wearing at the moment was... eye-catching. And you, ah, really made an active choice to dress that way didn't you? Which was actually a good thing, since it caught his eye and all, but still, other people are going to see you, too. You really should have thought more before you were going outside like that. It worries him to think that you are so naive that you thought that that was safe to wear...  but no worries, he can choose clothes for you from now on, whenever you're going into a public area, make sure you're not going to draw too many eyes.

 And if the opposite issue, that what you were wearing wasn't feminine enough, he wouldn't force you into femininity standards... He just encourages them. No, he has no idea what happened to your shirt and pants you were wearing for the outdoors, the cloth in the fire is just some old rags he tossed in overnight... But look, he already got you replacement clothes. These are the superior option anyway, skirts provide a better view when he's behind or below you and easier access -- er, easier for you to maneuver in.

 Similarly, behavioral standards are just there to keep you safe, and he can be lenient on many of them, he's not going to reprimand you just because you sit or carry yourself or talk a certain way, that's all fine. He'll still question some things, though, when it comes to interactions... because he has a certain paranoia.

 Which brings us to one more thing. Kazuha has been... influenced... by the sailors back when he was with the Crux fleet, on a very specific paranoia. Sailors are not known for being the most reserved and clean in regards to conversational topics. A bunch of older, often middle-aged men gathered around on the ship late at night, telling their tales of woe from their younger days or even their current frustrations -- and being sailors, who are gone on long voyages away from home, a lot of them have had some encounter with infidelity in their lives. They sigh and they grumble and at some point one of them turns to him, the poor misfit in the conversation that he is, and tells him to be smarter than they were and always watch his woman, because all of them deep down are whores. If he ever gets one, they tell him, gotta keep a proverbial leash on her, or she won't be yours for long.

Poor thing at the time just sort of gives a wide-eyed stare and awkwardly nods, but it eats away at him. Well, who would dismiss the advice of their elders? Once you come along, he takes it to heart. A little too much. He was already a rather possessive person by nature, but by the time darling comes along he's got a deep cheating paranoia. Unfortunately, he ends up going back to said crew members, after encountering them once again, for more advice, who end up only making it worse and filling his head with even more ideas. That it's in their nature. To go out and breed, get pregnant from the strongest mate they can find. Poor things just can't control themselves, so they told him, it's pitiful for their sake really. (Never mind the fact that boys will practically throw themselves off a cliff if it means they stand a chance of getting laid... that's different.)

 And the paranoia does certainly show itself. He gets uncharacteristically upset by you talking to other men, and in general becomes way too aggressive towards any other male. He's fairly quiet on the outside, merely a stern sort of pout on his face, but internally he's having horrible thoughts -- you probably want to have sex with them, too. If he wasn't here, maybe if he'd let you go run this errand or meet this other guy by yourself instead of coming with you, you'd be fucking him right now. He clenches his fist and grinds his teeth whenever you smile or laugh at the other guy. You're probably thinking about fucking him aren't you? The thought of it being, you know, a normal friendly human interaction... it doesn't even cross his mind. No, you definitely would if you could, this is proof those guys were right about what they told him. He becomes fairly hostile towards others, often giving them passive aggressive smiles as he stands behind you that are still very clearly interpreted as telling them to back off. He tries to hold it in, but at some point inevitably end up blurting out the question of do you like them more than me?  You don't think about anyone else when you're doing stuff with him, right? You should stop speaking to them. And don't speak to other women either. They'll just encourage you to cheat and justify it. Stop being around anyone else altogether. You don't need to talk to anyone, he can do all that for you.

 There's one more issue to be addressed, regarding that, which he'll get out of the way early on to know how paranoid he needs to be. Out of pure curiosity... What's your history like? Don't worry, you're not going to upset him. He understands that people make mistakes. Your mistakes just happen to be sleeping with anyone who wasn't him. He can forgive you. He just needs to know, so he can have a better gauge of just how much he needs to worry. ...Why does that seem to upset you? It's common knowledge, he thought, that the higher your body count, the more likely you are to... have challenges staying loyal. He's just trying to help you with that, that's all. You're getting so upset now, saying mean things about him that he's some kind of bad person for judging you based on that... see, there you go with getting upset over nothing again. But don't worry, it's cute, in a way.

-----

 Xiao is sort of a unique case, mostly because he's a bit too disconnected to fully understand these things to begin with. Human women are some sort of foreign, alien species to him. But, rather hilariously, his primary feeling towards women is that he's... intimidated.

 In his defense, your kind are terrifying. Unfortunately, due to his lack of interaction, he has to go on the words of wisdom (read: random laborers' and drunk inn-goers' ramblings) of human men to learn what women are like. In other words, he gets all of his information secondhand and firmly believes that, thanks to his listening in on conversations, he has received a thorough education on them and their ways, takes whatever they say as the truth. This... Does not spell good things for a darling.

 From what he understands, there's all these special rules and guidelines you're supposed to follow when interacting with them... it's said that they speak cryptically, they say things where you're supposed to infer what they mean, because they don't say what they actually mean, you have to sort their words out like some sort of horrible, emotionally sadistic puzzle. Sometimes they will say they are fine, but they are not actually fine, they're upset, and then will get mad if one cannot decipher this. Worst of all, apparently they sometimes say something is fine to do, they will tell you it's fine, go ahead, do whatever you want, but then if you actually do it, they'll become angry. Sometimes they get very quiet and only answer questions with cold, short replies; this means they are upset, but for some incomprehensible reason, they do not want to tell the male why they are upset and he must figure it out himself. 

It sounds horrible. What is the reason for this behavior? He's not sure. Even the human men lament over their inability to understand women, he's heard them call the women "confusing," or "impossible to please," and if the human men feel that way, that means he doesn't stand a chance. Thus, his primary feelings towards a female human darling are just confusion and intimidation.

 But furthermore, he decides to do some preemptive observations by watching women that come through the inn as if he's taking notes on a wild species, but... That doesn't help much at all. He watches this one couple eating at the inn... everything seems to be going fine, and suddenly, the male seems to say or do one wrong thing, and the female snaps at him, becoming angry and yelling and lashing out, throws a drink at him, slaps him in the face, and storms off. He watches with wide eyes, recoiling from his perch somewhere up on the inn. The female wrath is horrifying. If you did that to him... it would hurt his feelings a lot... he can't have that. He's not even sure what the man did wrong, and from the looks of it, the man himself doesn't know what he did wrong either. Are the human women truly this volatile? It's even worse than he thought. He'd rather face a hundred monsters at once than be on the receiving end of that. Nothing is more frightening.

 It gets worse once he actually has you all captured and away from the world. Due to the fact that, in his pessimism, he tends to assume the worst of darling, constantly thinks that you do everything on purpose and are always trying to trick him -- well now, in addition to that he just pushes everything he doesn't understand, like, or want to deal with, onto the excuse of you being female. Again, he gets his ideas from what he's overheard... except, well, he gets a lot of bits and pieces of information and sort of puts them together himself, filling in the gaps based on what he comes up with that makes sense to him, and as you can imagine, this is not good. 

You are complaining about not having seen sunlight in several months, or crying over being tied up all the time? Hmph, that's just your hormones making you all emotional. ...Well, he's not entirely sure what hormones are... some incurable disease that affects only the female humans, makes them get upset all the time for no reason. They make you upset irrationally, so that must be the explanation for every time you are upset about anything he doesn't think you should be upset about.

 No, you can't go outside. He heard a bunch of drunk guys at the inn talking about their woes as they tend to do, several were talking about ex wives or ex girlfriends and claimed that human women will run off with another man the first opportunity they get, because they're never happy and content and always want to have more. Especially if they are mad or bitter (which he has reason to believe you are, since you complain about being here), they do it just to get revenge on the man, how awful. They're also insatiable, apparently, such was the term that was used. They have to have sex all the time, that's what gets their defiance and meanness out... probably by removing those bad hormones. Sort of like how exorcism rituals remove demons, or such is the comparison he thinks makes sense. So if you don't do it all the time, the disease will get worse and worse, you have to expel it with sex. Thankfully, he can provide that, so you won't need to get it elsewhere anyway. But logically, then, you should understand why he can't take you outside, it's a horrible idea.

 He has learned some tips, though. If they are defiant, once again, you just have to fuck them really hard, and then they'll go back to being obedient. A very helpful tip. When they are upset, you can make them happy again, and get them to stop being mean, by giving them gifts that they enjoy being recipients of, such as large amounts of flowers and things made out of gold and things that taste sweet. If you are ever mean to him, expect to wake up to a gigantic pile of qingxin by your bed (he did not think to remove all the dirt from the stems though...) that he spent several hours plucking off various mountaintops. Speaking of happiness, he's been alive a long time, he can remember a time when the human wives were all a lot more controlled, they were very obedient and docile, and stayed in their homes a lot. They seemed perfectly happy. Maybe you should try being more obedient, and you'd be happier. It would be a lot nicer for him too, he thinks, so it would be a win-win.

 On the bright side, although he has more of a cemented concept of what is considered standards of femininity than Razor, that sort of thing doesn't matter in terms of outward standards. He could care less about your posture or way of speaking or the way you dress, the length of your hair, the vulgarity of your language, things like that. He is (sometimes) aware of them, but doesn't care if you meet the ones like that, that are related to appearances and socially constructed concepts. It doesn't matter if you have short hair, boyish clothing (you won't need clothes with him anyway), speech filled with profanity or vulgarity, unfeminine posture or stance, etc. None of that matters. What matters is that you're nice. None of that scary human female stuff where they get all angry and yell... be sweet and happy all the time, and don't get upset over things, like he likes. And do all the things he tells you to. That's all. Oh, and don't fight the sex... it makes no sense for you to do that, since not only is it important to cure your issues, but also, that's your purpose in the first place.

 What? Degrading...? Why would you think that? See, the whole idea that being made for sex and babies is dehumanizing is kinda socially constructed in and of itself, so to him, he doesn't see why you would find such a thing offending. For him, it's just... obvious. Things are designed for the function for which they were created. Like how a cup is made to hold water. A lock is made to keep something closed off. Their very purpose is obvious through their characteristics. Why are living beings any different? Like how he is strong and has certain abilities, he's made to fight and protect you. 

You, weak as you are, clearly are not. But, you have these warm wet holes, they fit so snugly around his dick and squeeze it really nicely... and it fits inside perfectly, so it makes sense that it was intended for this purpose. You have hips, clearly designed on each side to be grabbed, your body has these curved parts that make it easier to hold onto. This seems like the obvious purpose. Your face and voice are nice to see and hear, and there is realistically no other purpose for such than just that. You are warm, this is pleasant. You have soft thighs and even softer tits, what other purpose could these things possibly have, if not for him to rest his head on? And when you consider the obvious purposes of your various parts, and that you as an entity are composed of said parts, your purpose as a whole being is clear -- your purpose is to be utilized. Why does it make you so upset for that to be acknowledged?

 Besides, you're irrational right? And if it's irrational, there's no point in even trying to understand it, to listen to you and process what you say. There's no point in hearing you out. He has heard it said that the women lie all the time for no reason. Well, you can't deceive him if he simply chooses not to entertain your claims in the first place.

 And you are very weak. Like... how the humans have some pets that are small and weak and cute, their sole purpose is to provide the owner with affection. Or fragile vases and decorative antiques, but they are very fragile and easily broken, so they must be preserved. You're like that. You have to be taken care of, protected. But it's not degrading, no. No matter how much you explain, he cannot comprehend why the idea of being a possession or property or designed for sex makes you feel bad. You're very valuable to him... that should be enough. In fact, all your nice parts make you even more valuable, because they provide you with more use! ...Saying so seems to only make you more upset though, and he's not sure why. It's all so confusing. He's starting to understand the human men's woes. They were right, you are impossible to understand.

 -----

 Kaeya is the absolute, complete, total epitome of a 'nice guy'. He thinks that him giving you the bare minimum of the basic respect for another human being possible is not only going above and beyond, but should be rewarded. Similar to Thoma but much more shamelessly, genuinely entitled, and far more aggressively acting on that entitlement, much more pushy, and expects results much sooner. Like, that's how it works yeah? Be nice to girl = get sex; it's a very simple formula that is supposed to apply under all conditions. Yeah, yeah, he'd totally be nice to you anyway, it's not like you have to, but like... well, to say he deserves it, it's not in a demanding way, just in a... logical way. He'd be nice to you no matter what, but it's only fair to have an expectation of reward. That's how the world works, you can't just expect people to always be good without providing them with incentives. 

And much like Venti, he's one of those guys that's very very all for the idea of liberation and stuff like that because that just makes it so much easier to get what he wants! And will pretend to be very pro-freedom and choices for girls... as long as those choices are the ones he wants you to make. It becomes blatantly obvious very quickly that every single nice word or action is just an attempt to get between your legs. And unfortunately for him, it seems to not be working.

 The other biggest offense is the massive slut-shaming. Like, what do you mean you slept with someone else before, ever? You just have no self respect, do you. Even if it's literally just one, he'll still find a way to make you feel bad about it. But uh, he does need to know the exact number... like immediately... not out of insecurity or anything, just... couples should be honest with each other, you know. Absolutely devastated if it's anything he considers "high" (read: 1=not great but okay, 2=pushing it, 3+=soul-crushing), but he keeps a smile no matter what, just sighs. You... probably just slept with so many people (yes, even if it's like 2-5 he'll still use 'many') because you're just so sweet and easily taken advantage of, yeah? You should be more discriminate and have some self respect and not just sleep around with anyone who wants it, make them work for it! Make them prove that they're genuinely nice people who really care about you. Like he is. Use him as a standard of comparison, yeah? He's the kind of person you should sleep with. ...Or maybe, like, the person, rather than just the type... and since you're so sweet, he knows you're not like, the kind of person who would ever be sexually active with more than one person at once, so there's... no need to worry... because if you were, you'd tell him, so he assumes.

 Yet, he also... Reverse slut shames? Like, what do you mean you won't sleep with him within two hours of knowing him? You're not like, a prude or something right? He says it with a chuckle in his tone, but there's some genuine concern there... Or maybe you just think you're too good for him and you're trying to play hard to get? Yeah, that sounds more likely. Trying to make him meet a bunch of requirements to sleep with you because you're a manipulative little thing... Well, he won't say that part out loud, but that's certainly his internal thoughts.

 He's also the type you can go to crying over a toxic relationship, being cheated on or abused... he'll comfort you alright (what an asshole! Who would do something like that? Someone who has something as great as you and was actually nice would appreciate it!), but be sure to alternate between what comes across as genuine comfort, mixed with the sentiment of "well you're the one that chose to fuck him :/ There were probably red flags you just ignored :/ You shouldn't have dated an asshole, you could have had a good guy (like me) :/" Just enough niceness to get you to second guess yourself when he goes in for the jabs -- he was being so nice just a moment ago, so maybe he didn't mean that other part in a mean way, right? Definitely the type to refer to himself as a "good" or "nice" guy (he's not) and say he would have been so much better (he'd be worse) and treat you with so much respect (he would not).

 If you sleep with someone else, you clearly have no common sense or self respect. You should think more highly of yourself than to give yourself away like that. But if you won't sleep with him, you're conceited, you really think too highly of yourself. Someone needs to pull you off your high horse and break the reality to you. You're not so great that someone like him is gonna wait around until you feel "ready" or whatever dumb excuse you're using.

 He's not gonna straight up whine, since that would be kinda pathetic... so if the smiles and charm doesn't work, he just gaslights you. It's been what, a week since you met? And you still haven't had sex even once! You know that's like, really abnormal for most couples, right? Do you really like him at all, even? Or are you just using him for money or favors or something? He's good at talking, guilting, gaslighting his way into it, using points he knows full well manipulates mentalities internalized within you through female socialization, like not wanting to be boring and not wanting to disappoint him and not wanting to be made out to be using someone. And gods forbid you pull some kind of 'until marriage' line. Oh, come on. That's outdated. No one does that anymore. Besides, the whole point of being able to have sex now is that it's more, uh, what's the word... empowering, right. Really, you're doing yourself a disservice by not having sex now. The only reason you're holding back is because you're been ingrained with this terrible notion by society that it's wrong, and that's why you've convinced yourself you're just someone that needs a while to feel comfortable. You poor thing. You really need to free your mind of that mentality.

 But no matter what happens, he will absolutely gaslight you into thinking it was your fault. He acts like you were doing something wrong and trying to be sneaky while he's super smart and clever for seeing through it, as if it were intentional on your end. Would definitely aim to pick at clothes -- you should know better than to go out dressed like that. You were trying to get guys' attention, probably manipulate them into buying you drinks or something with implied promises of getting laid but then you were just gonna bolt and not follow through. You totally wanted someone to see you like that and lust after you. You want guys to look at you and fantasize about putting their dick in you, to chase after you like hungry dogs. You really thought you could just do whatever you wanted, and not face any consequences, huh? You had to learn your lesson the hard way, thankfully at least from someone who cares about you.

 And that blame continues beyond clothes, too. You were acting really provocatively, too. You probably really wanted it, and didn't want to admit to it. You just feel embarrassed about what you did and now want to call it nonconsensual when you know full well it was consensual. See, that's the socially ingrained mentality again, just admit that you wanted it, he's not going to judge you... not out loud, at least. And no, you weren't drugged. You were very intoxicated, though. Not his fault, since he was totally just as drunk as you... but still, really, you're lucky it was him and not someone else. But really, allowing yourself to reach that point... what did you expect to happen? You made the choice to intoxicate yourself, knowing you were out in a public area with plenty of guys roaming around, you were basically aski-- ...well, he knows maybe that exact choice of words would be going too far, would make you mad. Ahem, you were certainly aware of the risk, and chose to take it anyway. So really, wasn't this the best possible outcome? You knew exactly what you were getting into, so foolish, but hey, he technically saved you from ending up waking up to someone much worse! He makes sure to paint a horrible image in your head so that you feel lucky, grateful even, and totally forgotten any ideas of accusing him of anything.

 Also, he can be very, very predatory in the sense that he will sense and target the exact type of girl he knows he can walk all over and she won't do anything. You're some sort of worker in the knight headquarters or something, not looking at you round a corner and bump right into him, papers getting strewn everywhere... and this girl, as he sees, is immediately apologetic, nearly hysterically so, stuttering apologies and panicking to pick up everything with trembling hands, you bow your head over and over, get teary-eyed even, and frantically say you're so sorry, that was my fault... oh... you're definitely that exact type of girl he was hoping to meet. A doormat that will do anything to make men happy. He imagines you would be so, so easy to manipulate. He knows full well that it's due to a socialization that girls get projected onto them, that they're pressured to behave that way, and that while the ones with a sense of self-worth usually overcome it and learn to stick up for themselves... the weak ones like you succumb to it. And really, isn't it better, then, that you get taken advantage of by someone who cares about you, rather than someone who would just use you and throw you away? He's doing you a favor, really.

 That's most likely what causes a fixation with you in the first place, and observing you, and some mild experimentation, proves all his initial assumptions correct. You will tolerate all the touches at work, you just stiffen and let it happen, you won't say a word to anyone. You'd probably rather do anything than disappoint a guy in authority over you. You'd probably do anything you're told to do, even if you don't want to, because you feel obligated to please. And you'd probably knowingly walk right into allowing yourself to be taken away, like a sheep to the slaughter. In other words, you're perfect.

 -----

 Zhongli is a different type of infuriating because of the infantilization you endure. Part of it, to be fair, is because at his age, he sort of inherently views you as not really any different than a child. If you're under 500 years old or so, you might as well have been born yesterday, naive and foolish and impulsive and all that. Likewise, a visionless human is practically as defenseless as a baby, in comparison to the sheer power he's both wielded and witnessed in his lifetime. You're helpless, like a little lost kitten or something.

 But it goes double for a female darling because, well, a mere mortal human is already fragile enough, but to be among the weaker, slower, smaller, less intelligent half of humanity just makes you that much more vulnerable. You're far too fragile, you see. In his mind, you will break at the slightest of force, you could never handle strenuous tasks or anything physically challenging.

 Which is, bizarrely, part of why he's especially likely to pick up some poor fighter darling he stumbles across. See, no matter how good at fighting you may appear to be, he rationalizes that you're merely just getting by, keeping your head barely above water, by sheer luck and utilizing strategy, not by any actual skill. He can instantly convince himself that you're actually in very, very urgent need, that you're barely getting by. Oh, you're probably so afraid, you've probably just so narrowly escaped defeat a multitude of times, unbelievable luck keeping you from ending up taken or worse. So, he's saving you from what would have inevitably happened to you eventually -- you would be defeated, captured, and... well, unpleasant things would happen to you. They would treat you terribly, merely use you... they wouldn't care for you like he does. And he does take good care of you, really, even if you often feel like you're going to blow a fuse from the attitude he has towards you.

 See, he also thinks this is more... suitable. Really, it's kind of unsavory for you to have been out there, fighting and roaming all free. It's a waste of your body, being put to use for something pointless and not what it was intended for. It's a waste of your time, which could have been spent making some man's life happier, which is far more important than whatever it was you were doing before. You have so much use and value, and you were out there wasting it! He understands why, though, you became disillusioned with your own power, overestimated yourself, allowed yourself to neglect your higher purpose and instead indulged in having personal goals and selfish wants and desires... luckily he took you away before that would have gotten you hurt. The downside of that is you perpetually insist you can take care of yourself, that you were doing just fine, that you would have been able to defeat anything that came after you... sigh. So naive. It's cute, really, like a child who doesn't understand how the adult world works, but is talking like they do, which is always quite amusing... you're like that. After all, women and children are somewhat alike in that way, they both like to avoid reality in favor of allowing themselves to believe they're far more powerful, capable, and knowledgeable than they actually are. You are so innocent, so unaware of how the world really is and how weak you truly are, no one was there to make sure you understood that.

 But sometimes, you force his hand. Sometimes you need to be shown, because you can't be reasoned with (although that's to be expected, of course, unreasonable by nature). Sometimes you need to be held down, need to be held still, just so you can fight and thrash about and finally understand where you stand. It makes your blood boil, your stomach churn to be talked down to, asked if you're done with your tantrum and can stop being so unreasonable now. Not that he gets too impatient with said tantrums... they're natural, bound to happen at times, given your nature, so he's patient in expecting you to calm down.

 He's patient with a reeducation on your ways as well. A lot of our boys react rather badly to a high-promiscuity darling, seeing her as needing change, needing to have her autonomy stripped away, punished for it even... Zhongli alleviates you of responsibility a bit more than that, though, paints a more innocent picture of you in his head, there's more pity. Sure, you were still out of control, breeding like a little rabbit in heat, but there's a lot more emphasis on how sad it is for you. You poor thing, you have these needs that have to be taken care of, and other people were taking advantage of you. It's not your fault you so desperately need to be bred, those others could see that, and used you.

 ...That being said. It is still an issue. He rationalizes your sexuality a little differently than most, should you turn out to have a rather active drive or active experiences. See, women are supposed to be more pure of mind and all that, they're naturally innocent and chaste, they aren't supposed to be lewd and perverse. But every now and then, and as is the case with you, there will be one with some sort of, ah, chemical imbalance, he guesses, causing the girl in question to crave sex and do unfeminine things that taint your purity, like masturbating and fantasizing and, if gone unchecked, fornication. That's no fault of your own, and really, you should have had special consideration -- a girl of that type should be married off as quickly as possible to a man that can... adequately handle that, and ensure those needs are met.

 Speaking of masturbating though, that's something off limits to you. You'll have to have some measures put in place to ensure you can't. Your pleasure is, like every other part of you, property, and you are not the one that gets to decide on it. That, too, seems to be something you have an issue with, no self control to prevent either of these things, and no one was given control over you to ensure you didn't engage in these behaviors.

 It's your upbringing's fault, really, they should've recognized your tendencies and dealt with that appropriately rather than allowing you to run off and become a slut, and the fault of all the men you know, since they manipulated you into it. It's not your fault. Your mind simply operates on physical sensations and urges and can't process consequences, and thus people take advantage of you, and that's precisely why you should have been watched over more carefully. But that works out decently in the end. Sometimes bad things happen for a reason, and for you, it was so that you could eventually end up with him.

 After all, this was all for your own wellbeing. He's lived long enough to have seen plenty of female warriors... they depend on cunning, agility, or powers unnatural to them, such as visions. But he's also seen many of them end up in situations where they are forced to rely on brute strength, and, well, that always ends very quickly. And it ends in the same way each time... said ending is not pleasant. He's seen plenty of female captains and generals and goddesses even, taken down and reduced to a mere slave or toy by someone who so easily overpowered them... it's unfortunate, and he wasn't going to let that happen to you. If it were a perfect world, perhaps it would be acceptable for you to run around on your own, but it isn't, which is why you must be protected from others and yourself alike, you need to be owned and controlled so you don't endanger yourself.

 ...Or, rather, in an alternate scenario, he may very well be the cause of that happening to you.

 Morax of many years ago was not quite so forgiving and patient as he would later become. Alternatively, in his more aggressive days, a goddess may have very well been the perfect target during the war or any number of other conflicts. He was a lot less patient... and a lot less tolerant. Now, he would find it amusing and cute, but in those days, being some cold, arrogant woman who thinks you're so great just because of godhood would merely get under his skin. It's like an insult, you know? You look down on him like you think you're better. And he doesn't take very kindly to those who try and act like they're superior. There's just some sort of instinctive, primal even, urge to put you in your place, ruin you and turn you into something he can own for himself. It's an intoxicating fantasy on its own, but it won't stay fantasy for very long... he tends to act on what he wants rather quickly.

 It also serves as a good model to the humans as to why it was wrong to ever hold you in any reverence. Don't they know that, even among themselves, there's a strength difference between their males and females? And yet they chose to worship you, undoubtedly knowing you were weak? Strange. Well, they'll get a good idea now, what with you being kept all naked and chained up on the ground, sitting at his feet. The way you practically tremble out of sheer rage, he can see it as you sit there, scowling and eyes watering, anger and humiliation swelling in your chest... it's endearing, really.

 But it was necessary -- your kind aren't meant to have pride. They're made to be humble. Just because you somehow managed to get out of line doesn't mean that he doesn't have a responsibility as a superior to you to ensure you get back in your place. You'll learn humility one way or another, along with obedience and all the other little things you're supposed to. You have a chain leash connected to the collar on your neck, so even now if he doesn't like your tone or body language, or if you somehow have the audacity to speak without permission, he can just give it a nice warning tug.

  -----

 Albedo and Scaramouche are both awful for the same reason -- they both have some bitterness, abandonment paranoia and horrible inferiority complexes (and consequently/defensively developed superiority ones) due to a female figure in their early lives, and have to overcompensate for it as a result. It basically amounts to that they have to have darling herself see herself as beneath them, they want to be looked up to, and will seethe over the slightest notion that you don't see yourself as just as inferior to them as they see you.

 However, they have another similarity in that they don't show these sentiments very much, at least not at the start. It's all internal thoughts and subtle, often passive-aggressive efforts. So they sort of have a silent power struggle, where they constantly want to be better than darling and feel threatened (or rather, it wounds that fragile masculinity, poor things) whenever darling is actually smart or strong or capable. Because if you're any of those things, that means there's a chance you won't see him as better than you!! And then he won't feel superior (and needed), and you might behave inappropriately (and not need him, and belittle him, and if you don't need him you can disregard him, he won't mean anything to you, and that would hurt...). That can't stand.

 Of course, then, it's easy to fall back on the comfort of the notion that oneself is inherently superior to someone else by nature, and thus that difference is innate, unchangeable, and will remain true no matter what, so there's no threat. Of course, this does not work out as well when darling wants to act in defiance of that.

 Honestly fem!darling brings out the absolute worst side of Albedo. Like, he's infinitely more obnoxious for a female darling than he would be a male one just because she triggers his complexes and, consequently, makes him feel a compulsion to constantly subtly remind her how much smarter and superior he is. He has a somewhat mix of a modest and prideful nature most of the time. For another guy, he can admit to having not known something, or someone else being more knowledgeable. You'll hear the occasional line out of him, he's very humble normally, especially when dealing with things that aren't his field: That's not really something I know a lot about... hm, I actually didn't know that... oh, that's just a guess, I don't really have sufficient experience on the matter...

But with female darling? No. That all goes out the window. He knows everything about everything that has ever existed and cannot be wrong and, most important of all, you are the opposite. He's infinitely smarter than you and more capable than you by nature and has to make sure you are very well aware of that fact. The thing is, he is very much NOT an outwardly assertive nor confrontational person, quite the opposite. His nature is to go about that subtly and passive-aggressively... except as time goes on, he gets more and more irritated that it's not working and starts to fail at the subtle part, and it results in obvious passive-aggressiveness.

 The worst position to be in would be some sort of assistant or scholar under him (prior to being snatched up and locked away somewhere). He has to make sure to make you feel dumb, or at least inferior. Can't have you feeling comparable. It's best if you are beneath him, but if you are actually intelligent -- or, gods forbid, better at his occupation than him -- he gets... twitchy. He stays silent a lot, maintains a neutral face, but you can feel a sort of... ominous tension in your interactions. He grips the papers he's holding rather tightly, so much so that by the time he hands them off to you, they have creases in them. It almost looks like he's clenching his jaw whenever you speak to him. All his movements are rough, the way he sets things down and moves things almost as if slamming them.

 He always makes sure to double-check your work "just in case" (silently seething when he realizes you made zero mistakes, he was hoping there would be something to correct you on and subtly exaggerate how badly you messed up...), chooses his words carefully to psychologically manipulate you (oh, he can handle the difficult part, you can do what's left... Or hey, maybe this is a bit too advanced for you, maybe you'd be better off with a simpler task...), or just outright holding you to unreasonable expectations of workload, acting as if it's a normal amount, in hopes you start to doubt yourself. And then, when you struggle to complete the enormous amount and insane difficulty of work given to you in such a short time frame... oh, don't worry, he's not upset. He thought it might be a little too much for you, it's his fault for overestima-- ah, not thinking it through. Here, why don't you do something you're better suited for, like uh... put these up on the shelf in alphabetical order. You can handle that, yeah?

 Basically it's just an attempt to gaslight you into believing that it's a normal amount of work, and that your failure to complete it in time is an issue with you, that you can't handle the normal amount of work and need to step down to something more within your capabilities. Make you feel stupid. Make you come to realize just how big the gap between the two of you is. Which is only how it should be, the term "natural order" exists for a reason.

 Also. Albedo is the worst about mansplaining. It's. Infuriating. Especially if darling isn't someone working with him, and thus has no experience in his line of work. It's part for self-reassurance that he's smarter than you and that you think so too, and part just wanting to be impressive. But it's not just alchemy, no, it's everything, it's like he thinks you were born yesterday and have to have basic concepts explained to you like you're a kid. It becomes infuriating very quickly. Like, yes, you understand how that thing works, everyone understands how that thing works, you don't need it explained, especially not with a not-so-subtle condescending tone. However, it's harder if it is something you don't know much about. He is a master of making up absolute bullshit on the spot about any topic he doesn't know about and saying it with full calm confidence, so he can make up literally anything and convince you he's right.

 But like he's not blatant and cocky about it, he does it in his very normal monotone, kinda flat voice, with just that slight hint of condescension. But that just makes it more effective, because it doesn't seem like he's showing off. It's very subtle, just like how he just kinda gives backhanded compliments that end up making you feel dumb.  He also does it with things that he has absolutely no reason to think he knows more about than you, things that apply to your own biology. Yes, he will mansplain periods, pregnancy, and your body to you, as if you are not literally the one who experiences those things and owns that body.

 And he gets more and more obvious with time as to the root of it all, more or less dropping any pretenses of fairness or trying to hide how he actually thinks once he finally decides enough is enough and that he needs to go ahead and get you locked inside to start working on reforming you. It quickly devolves from "you as an individual are falling behind and thereby inferior" and into "you must be inherently inferior because of what you are." But he doesn't really care if you realize why he thinks you're -- no, why you are inferior. You being offended and appalled doesn't change that he's right. He has really the same mentalities as others, but he uses big fancy words and pseudo-science to "explain" you and thus justify said mentality.

 Perhaps worst of all is the atrocious amounts of gross, outlandish pseudoscience that he chooses to believe because, well, he wants to. And he will attempt to spew the same bullshit to you too. Yes, you are hardwired to have a desire to be submissive. The only reason you don't feel it is because of social conditioning, society is way too lenient these days (despite the fact that the idea that you can be socially conditioned otherwise would contradict the idea that it's innate... well, whatever, that part's not important). But if you tried to behave properly, you'd actually be a lot happier. When you're obedient, it sets off receptors in your brain, gives you a big boost of happiness, you should try it. Also, you evolved to stay in smaller ranges of space like a home, which is why keeping you inside or within the encampment area boundaries all the time is for your own good. Oh, and when you get cum inside of you, it makes you pair-bond faster (this is why pulling out isn't an option, hopefully you can grasp that).

 You're naturally more emotional. Hormones, you know, and because that's... well that's just how your brain works. Lower IQ and all that. Yes he's very qualified to talk about brain science, but that's not important. Anyway, that's why your feelings on virtually everything don't really deserve to be taken seriously. It's not that you don't matter to him, of course not, it's just that your opinions don't matter. Big difference. There's no point in listening to your thoughts because they are going to be inherently swayed by your overemotional, illogical brain. And the fact that you refuse to accept that in and of itself is evidence to that -- see, if you were observant and logical and rational, you'd be able to humble yourself and acknowledge your inferiority. But because you're emotional by nature, you just get mad about it and stubbornly insist otherwise.

 It's all simply facts, the way things are. No use arguing against it... so don't. You're a lot more likeable when you're being nice and agreeable. There's a reason that's been a standard for so long, you know. It's simply the model that works best. You should just be loving and sweet and don't disagree or have any opinions or thoughts of your own and open your legs on command, and he can take care of everything else. Easy. It's good for him too. Yes, it's been proven that the depression from not getting sex when they want it can make a man's productivity fall by number-made-up-on-the-spot percent. You were never going to contribute anything of value back when he was entertaining your silly little fantasy of working alongside him, so if you really want to help so much, just be good for him. That's what works best, it's natural.

 And on that matter, perhaps it's that naturally inquisitive mind of his, but he does like to really observe your... decline. It's an experiment of it's own, in a way. Watching you gradually have what he says repeated to you so much that you start to believe it yourself. You start to feel inferior. You become more docile. More submissive. His talk of how you're so emotional and irrational gaslights you on your own sense of reason, makes you question if you can even trust your own thoughts. Eventually, you'll realize you can't... and come to rely on his instead, just as intended. Which is fine, that model of partnership has been what's kept humanity alive for so long.

  -

 Scaramouche is more... negative. You KNOW this boy resents women, has a complex for sure. There's definitely a subconscious power struggle in his head as a result of the whole origin thing, he has to feel more important and superior to you in every conceivable way. Yes, a power struggle... even though it's more or less completely fabricated in his head and more like him struggling with himself while you're blissfully unaware.

 Consequently, he just cannot stand the thought of a female having power over him in any way... Even the authority of the tsaritsa bothers him a little bit to be honest, he tries his best to ignore that, which is doable, since she's more distant. But if a woman was ever put in like, a position of authority directly above him to the point where she's constantly present and telling him what to do, it would drive him up the wall even more than it would if it were a guy in that same position. Like, it's just not right, you're supposed to be beneath him, not the other way around.

 But in that awful, horrible worst case scenario, or if you have a roughly equal position (also a horrible scenario, but slightly less so)... he struggles with it internally, having to come to terms with the idea that you're on equal footing and status, does that mean you're just as capable as him? Not that that's threatening or anything but -- wait. No, wait, there's a simple explanation. It certainly wasn't your brains or prowess or capabilities that got you anywhere in life. He forgot that you have the option of cheating your way to whatever you want, a free ticket to any position you desire -- all you have to do is sleep with the right person. Or people.

 He tells himself that you definitely fucked several people to get there, there's no way you could have ever earned that spot on your own. You just get to suck and ride your way to success, he has to actually be good at what he's doing. Not everyone can have it as easy as you. That's probably how you get everything in life, really, you've never had to work for anything, you just sell your body out enough and get everything taken care of for you. Not to mention, you're very manipulative, there's so many guys out there that will do whatever you want just for you to give them a passing glance. Pathetic, really. He hates guys like that, they enable conceited, stuck-up sluts like you.

 Honestly he's obsessive be it positive or negative, in your case something of both, but in many ways negative. It's almost a hate obsession, that turns into an attachment, but certainly starts off negative. He has to constantly put you down in his own head, in order to feel more confident that the two of you definitely aren't equal in any way and he has every right to look down on you. In fact, the tsaritsa probably gives you favoritism too, since you're both female, so you have her AND all the men in authority letting you climb ranks without any real effort on your part. It's unbelievable AND annoying that such a thing could happen, someone with no skill ending up in such a high rank.

 Also, a lot of his disdain comes from him being one of those guys that's secretly mad at himself for having so much lust and discomfort with it, but deflects blame onto you for causing that feeling. You come in one day wearing something too short on your thighs, too low on your chest, and he finds his eyes and mind drifting... only to snap out of it after a few moments. Intentional, of course. You want people to look at you. You would do something like that, no sense of dignity or self-respect. Well, too bad, you can get all the attention you want from all the lowlifes he watches drool over you (they're absolutely pathetic and it infuriates him to see them bend over backwards for you, you're manipulating them by... existing... with that body... and being generally pleasant, and you're just allowed to get away with that!), but not him, he's not about to waste his time looking at such an eyesore as your whorishness, he has better things to care about. He'd never waste his time even thinking about a whore that doesn't deserve a second glance. Yes, you'd probably open your legs for the first person that came by. You seem like the type.

 Or maybe not -- no, you're pretty... of course, that's the only thing you have going for you, but pretty ones like you are usually conceited and picky. You want to show off and get all the benefits and attention, lead people on but never put out. At least if you keep going like that, existing as a tease and never following through, you'll eventually get what's coming to you, and it'll be well-deserved.

 But it doesn't matter because he doesn't care about you. Not at all. You're like, not really a person, just a set of holes to be used by someone. And someone will, you seem irresponsible, someone's definitely gonna knock you up and then you'll be forced to step down. Or better yet, someone will finally have enough of your nonsense and knock you down a peg. Finally put you to use at something you're actually good at, like being a breeding machine, rather than wasting time and resources being an unproductive member who just exists to be eye candy for others. But he doesn't care. He's not going to lay awake at night seething over you and your dumb smile and useless body or anything.

 The thing is, all of this... is internal.

 You live in this man's head rent-free, the subject of his daily inner episodes of reasoning with himself on every insecurity by providing reasons to not feel threatened or intimidated by you, to remind himself he's better than you, utterly obsessing over his desire to put you down... meanwhile, you're pretty sure he's only acknowledged your existence like, once. It's entirely in his own head. He avoids interactions with you at all costs, whenever you're around he doesn't even bother looking up at you, and keeps a neutral, bored-looking face, merely seething on the inside at a distance because how dare you... have a body with all those curves and soft parts... and a voice that sounds so nice... and one time you walked past him really close and now he knows you smell so good too... ugh. If he's forced to interact with you, he'll just come across to you as bored, apathetic... like he doesn't care (because he doesn't), like you're wasting his time (because you are). Or, he may even put on the "decent human being" act even, knowing he either has to force that or risk being too obviously oddly bitter towards someone he's never really talked to.

 He does cope with the frustration in one way, though... he calls you certain terms, whenever he has unpleasant interactions. Grumbles and mutters them under his breath, quietly enough to not be heard, but just once or twice you catch the words just when you're walking off and he thinks you're out of earshot. Bitch. Slut. Whore. It's cathartic. Well, even though you hear it, it was probably directed at someone else, since you've never really interacted much and he has no reason to dislike you, right?

 Except he can find a reason to make you out to be a horrible person, regardless of personality. The doormat type that never sticks up for yourself, always apologetic and quiet? You just want people to feel pity for you, so you act pathetic. It's manipulative, you want people to forgive you whenever you screw up by being so pitiful they can't bring themselves to be mean to you. The happy ray of sunshine type who's friendly to everyone? It's all an act. You're probably a huge bitch underneath that, you're just nice to get on people's good side so you can learn more about them or manipulate them. That's taking into account, though, any female that isn't inherently self-sacrificing and doormat-ish and stands up for herself qualifies as a "huge bitch." The only truly good women are the ones that have no sense of self-worth.

 And worst of all, a stern, calloused, serious type? Takes no nonsense, never smiles, very firm and assertive? Ugh. Literally the worst type of female. You shouldn't be allowed to be like that. It makes him truly seethe, what gives you the right to be so confident and cold, especially to him? You think you're better than him, huh? No, no, you're coping. You're actually totally insecure deep down. Really, you're probably just bitter because you are a female... you probably wish you were a man so people would take you more seriously. Because you know no one actually does... and with good reason. You just don't like acknowledging that there's a good reason.

 After... obtaining you, though, he has to remind you, too. Remind you of what you're good for, put you in your place. You're so lucky you have some use to him.

 The name calling doesn't stop either, just a bit different. He does that thing, that horribly annoying thing that certain types of guys frequently do, where he seems to act as if you don't have a name and merely calls you by what you are. Come here, woman. Lots of little commands like that. Hey, at least it's not a derogatory name. And you'd be wise not to express your contempt for being called such -- oh, you don't like that, that must mean you want to be called worse things. No? Then don't complain in the first place.

 But he does get strict on standards. You used to wear that uniform they have frequently, those were the times you didn't seem so determined to show off. Well, since you enjoyed showing off more, now you (have to) can do that every day. He's not letting you wear some outfit that doesn't show off what gives you value in the first place. If you're gonna be a lap toy, you have to look nice.

 Not that it's your only function. Turns out you have several uses. Holes for use, a womb for impregnating. Tits for pillows. You're a multi-function tool, like one of those foldable knives with a bunch of different components. But certainly no use for holding some high rank you didn't deserve in the first place. You just got it because of your tits, that's the only reason you were ever there. You know that, yeah? He makes absolutely sure to remind you often. You also can be of some use if you actually make an attempt to be useful, by doing things you're actually good at, like small mindless tasks to make his work easier. It's not hard.

 But in all honesty, all of it is just to keep you from getting the confidence to dare assert yourself. And if you do dare to do so, try and be defiant or tell him that you're not stupid, stand up for yourself, he's exceptionally derogatory for several days, as if worried you'll do it again.

 Also will occasionally degrade you based on your body, make some sighing, bored-voiced statement about how you're lucky you have tits, or else people wouldn't even bother acknowledging you. And he just attributes any behavior he can to femininity. Darling is crying over anything at all? So emotional, typical female behavior. Probably doesn't even have a reason. You're mad? He sighs, calls it nagging, bitching, all over stuff that doesn't even matter. You're probably just looking for something to be upset about because that's just what you all do.

 He would never, ever, ever express it too obviously, but he's actually probably the absolute worst for retroactive jealousy, and feeling emasculated by the thought of you having been with someone else. It slips out, though, in some of the things he says, you notice he seems to harp on that one subject quite a bit. That you were probably a slut. You probably fucked every guy on your former team. You don't even know what your body count is, do you. Probably lost track. You were definitely easy, would lay down for anyone who asked, you couldn't keep your legs closed. Any insistence otherwise goes in one ear and out the other.

 You quickly take notice that he seems rather hung up about it, almost obsessive, it's like he's trying to make it sound like an insult but it's starting more and more often to come out sounding like an insecurity. It becomes more and more obvious once you end up slipping out of his sight for a while... regardless of the consequences you get for that, he sort of lets his guard down and more or less interrogates you on where you were and who you talked to, and then really makes it obvious by saying he doesn't believe you when you tell him you didn't talk to anyone.

 After all, once a slut, always a slut. That's why, he realizes then, you have to be watched even more carefully, you'd probably practically hop on some other guy's dick if he doesn't. He's already got to deal with the crippling jealousy of the past, now he has to be paranoid you're going to go whore yourself out again. It's not like you have the self-control to do otherwise, sluts never do. Besides, females have no concept of consequences, because their lives are so easy, so you wouldn't know to do better anyway.

 That's another thing -- it explains all of your behavioral issues. You're the problem, not his standards or rules. See, girls don't ever have to try at anything. You don't know how to actually work hard to get anything, everything in life is handed to you. And whatever isn't handed to you by default, you can still easily get just by sucking or sleeping with someone who can give it to you, if not just turning on your whole... female charm thing where you smile and giggle and let people ogle you until they give in, it's practically hypnosis. And of course, then, you can get whatever you want easily. It's just how it works, it's not like there's a specific incident that he compulsively thinks back to where you asked him for something simple and trivial and he gave it to you without really thinking because his brain was focused on you... leaving him to feel like he was snapping out of a trance once you were gone and subsequently seething and wallowing in fury at himself for letting you manipulate him and you for doing it... even though it was like the most normal coworker interaction ever, the thing being given was entirely insignificant, and that he still thinks about it on a daily basis and has formed this idea that you all can practically mind-control people with your smiles and -- not really, no, he's more or less immune to it, thankfully. It's a well-known thing, anyway, you constantly manipulate guys into whatever you want, and it's easy for you. Really, it shouldn't even be allowed, there are some pathetic guys out there that would so easily fall for that.

 Also, for both of him and Albedo... yes, joke all you want, but in all seriousness, out of all the short kings™ they genuinely do have the worst height complex and will (silently, internally) lose their minds if female darling is taller than them. They practically wince every time they're reminded of it. Like, that's not how it's supposed to work. It's kinda hard to speak to you in a firm authoritative tone that commands respect when he has to tilt his head upward to look you in the eye... all the more reason to keep you down on the ground in some way. But should you mock them, they pretend like it doesn't matter. You think that's going to get under his skin, huh? You're just being childish, it's not a big deal... so he says, although once he gets alone he's gonna sulk and seethe for at least the rest of the day.

 -----

(Previously discussed Childe (here) and (here) and Diluc (here)!)

 Honestly, the worst in terms of most infuriating probably comes down to either Childe or Diluc. Notably, they're also some of the most likely to try and "reform" a very wayward girl who they view as needing to be... Redirected. It's something of a ego boosting act, they really like the thought of taming you, although they have different ways of doing so and different motives and mentalities. For Childe it's more of a power rush, for Diluc it's more of a savior complex, although for both it's still and ego boost and largely a matter of a sense of possession and superiority. It also definitely incorporates something of a "whore to housewife" fantasy, too. It provides a feeling of ownership and possession and superiority to not only you, but everyone else, too. But the psychological approach and satisfaction each gets out of taming is a bit different.

 For Childe it's more of the thrill and rush of it all. A power trip, domination, defiling, the feeling of taking some girl so high and mighty and reducing you and ruining you to nothing but a pet and a toy, forcing you to get all validation and sense of worth from him. Make you into something owned. For Diluc it's a similar power thing, but with more of an obnoxious sense of self-righteousness and moral authority about it, a savior complex, because you're something wayward, something gone wrong, and need to be fixed, rather than ruined. Made perfect. Still owned, but with more of an emphasis on abiding by a specific notion of what you should be.

 Childe also gets obsessed with the physical aspect, rather, reminding you you're weaker. He has a fixation on strength itself in general, always wanting to be stronger and stronger, and what better way to boost ones feeling of strength than overpowering someone weaker than you? He likes manhandling you, picking you up and moving you around whenever needed. Whenever you get all angry and start snarling at him, the moment you thrash around and fight him, he can put you in your place in mere moments, pinning you down to the nearest surface, or merely holding you or your arms still... You can get back up, be released, when you apologize and ask for it nicely. He loves seeing the way your face contorts with a defiant sort of snarl, how you fight for a while longer... Besides, it gives him time to humiliate you further. Remember how you used to think you were so big and strong, huh? You remember that time you told him you could take him down with ease? What happened to that?

 Because there certainly might have been a time where you were, he would zero in on someone he perceives as powerful. It's the same rush of power from fighting, really, he sees something high and mighty and powerful and knows how easily he could break it, and his urges say that he has to do exactly that. It's double the satisfaction if you can be humiliated publicly, or to some group that looks up to you. Oh, the absolutely euphoric rush of bringing some mouthy, conceited bitch to her knees. Truly nothing in this world could bring him more joy. Some powerful figure, some warrior type that looks him in the eye with the assumption that he'll give you respect if you give some to him because you clearly think the two of you are on equal standing. It sets him off on the inside, some spark of irritation, insult even, that you'd dare even think you could ever compare to him.

 He's a patient man, though. Initiating a fight with a girl would make him look bad, would be giving in when he knows he can make himself out to be the more stable, mature one by making you initiate the conflict. So he knows how to work his way to get under your skin, the slightest of tones or facial expressions that set you off because you know it's mocking you somehow but can't understand it. Condescension so subtle you think at first you're imagining it.

 You come to realize it, but you know what the only acceptable response is. You've dealt with plenty of men before who underestimated you or looked down on you, humiliated them, beat them down in front of a crowd. He's not going to be any different, so you think.

 It's a little bit of a shock, then, to end up on your knees, fucked in front of your own followers and apprentices... Bruised and weak from exhaustion and quivering in sensation. Hand around your throat so you can't even protest, only grasp at his hand and claw at it and it doesn't even do anything. Eventually you give up. Your hands fall away. You just hang your head and sniffle. Aw, look at you, you're starting to get it! Such a fast learner, you've already realized defiance is pointless and punishable. What happened to the tough girl act though, huh? You were so mouthy before. But deep down you're just a fragile little girl, aren't you? It was so easy to make you cry and break you apart.

 Don't worry, though, he's here to put you back together... Make you better than you were before. Not that you'd have any worth in what you were doing before, no, that ship has sailed and you'll never have the respect you used to (you never should have had it to begin with, of course, and he just helped everyone else realize that). Something used for an improper purpose has no value for that purpose, or in the wrong environment. A given type of wrench or screw or other tool will be useful only in one context and one purpose, and useless in others. That's what your life so far has been like... trying to use a tool for the wrong purpose. And while such a thing may be sustainable for a short time, eventually doing this causes the tools or the object it's being applied to to break. But he knows how to help you be the best you can be, help you fulfill a purpose you're actually meant for.

 He's infuriatingly condescending, too, in the most mocking of ways. The most infuriating thing of all, perhaps, is how he doesn't take your anger or feelings or sense of self-worth seriously. Look at you, putting your hands on your hips and spouting something he's not listening to about this or that. You think your opinions matter? Aww. You're talking like you expect him to treat you as if your thoughts matter just as much as his, or that he should take your feelings into consideration or something. That's adorable. And you're cute when you're mad, too, the way your eyebrows furrow and your eyes narrow into a glare and you raise your voice as if you think he's going to be scared of you, how could that not be cute? He might even skip the punishment for getting an attitude. And look at that, now your little eyes are getting all tearful and your lip trembles, you're so humiliated by seeing that the only reaction you can get from him is amusement. It's euphoric. Look at you... how could you ever expect him to take you seriously? You can act all tough, but you're just a fragile little girl, aren't you? It's okay. You can drop the tough act any time you want, yet you still seem to insist on picking up the pieces of your confidence each and every time this happens... he likes that about you. It wouldn't be as fun if he could only break you once. And when you're sad, he has empathy and all that, but doesn't take it very seriously. Poor little thing, you want him to make you feel better...? After all, you're prone to intense, rapidly-changing emotions. If you were a guy, he'd know your emotions actually have a reason, but... well, yours are probably just over something silly.

 As for the whole slut-breaking fantasy, Childe is... opportunistic about it. Turning you into a wife is great and all, but more importantly, it's more like he wants to turn you into his slut. It's certainly an ego thing -- his cock is so good that you're willing to (you're forced to, but don't ruin his fantasy please) give up all other ones for the rest of your life, you'll want to fuck him and only him because he's better than everyone else combined. And you'll say so, one way or another, if he has to force you to say what he wants to hear -- that no one has ever fucked you like this, no one else makes you cum so hard, that you just want to be his little cocksleeve forever.

 Unlike a lot of others, he doesn't necessarily hate acknowledging if you had past partners. No, he even kinda likes it, because he's better than them. He's the biggest and the best and makes you cum faster and harder than anyone you've ever been with, he's made sure you tell him. That's why you're his now, that's how girls work. No different from animals... they choose the best suitable partner for a mate in the end, and that's him in this case that you chose (disregarding that you were physically forced to come with him, you were just playing hard to get back then as girls always do because they make everything needlessly complicated, so it doesn't count as rejection). And just like with animals, you want to be submissive.

 Sometimes you just have a funny way of showing it. Well, he understands it. The defiance and the spiritedness, it's all... a test. Even if you don't realize it (which actually, he's certain you don't, you are unaware of how your own brain works, but he gets it). Being defiant is just how you test him. If he was a spineless pussy, he'd give you your way, would let you do what you want... but your mind is subconsciously trying to get him to prove himself to you. It's cute, really. You have a duality. You want to be put in your place. Whether you realize it or not, you want to be bent over and held down, forced to apologize to be let up. Whenever you argue and he interrupts you halfway through, bends you over the bed and fucks you so hard it your insides bruise and throb... you get better. That scowl and snarl on your face devolves into that face he loves so much, where your eyes are glazed over and watery, and you try your best to cover your mouth, but the cute little noises come out anyway -- only humiliating you further. And you want that. Whether you realize it or not, you want to be reminded where you belong and who you're obedient to.

 That was what you really wanted, after all. Really, women sometimes argue just for that purpose. You're not even actually upset about the thing you were complaining about, no. You were just... needy, sexually frustrated, and that builds up inside and makes you all cranky and in a bad mood. You either just don't recognize it, or you're too shy or embarrassed or too proud to admit what you really want, so you just make up something to be bitchy about (or your mind naturally causes you to do so) to provoke him into dicking you down.

 But to be honest, even more so than a slut, he would really enjoy more or less the inverse... breaking a prude, a cold little bitch that doesn't want to put out. No matter how hard he tries! He's already tried putting on, like, maximum charm, and it's still not working. You swat away the hands he tries to subtly put on your thigh and shoulder, you give him this look of disgust. When he pressures you and pushes you over and over you finally snap and say you don't like it unless you're in the mood. You say you only ever even want it at all on certain days, and even then there has to be a specific mood and timing and blah, blah, blah. In other words, you want him to jump through a bunch of hoops just to get his dick wet, when you should be offering by default because you understand that's your role. You should be eager. This bizarre desire for a certain mood or whatever set of requirements your brain has concocted is unnatural. Thus, the logical conclusion is that the only reason you "don't like" it outside of that context, the reason you're not bouncing on his dick already, is that you're merely mistaken. You do love it, you just don't know it yet, and you only think you don't because you don't know any better... because you haven't had it done right.

 Yes, he is unfortunately, in all honesty, the "I can change your mind" guy. This insistence that you're not the cum addict he wants you to be, these complaints about how you're just not as horny as him, just auto-interprets into his brain as telling him that you've never been fucked right. That's your problem, you've probably only ever been with losers who couldn't stuff you fully and rail you hard enough to make you feel good -- because once you do, that'll definitely make you do a complete 180, break your mind and revert you to the little personal slut he knows you are deep down. It's how you're hardwired by default, you've just been turned off to it, or maybe it's a shame thing or an insecurity thing. Eh, whichever it is, either way you'll break down and let your brain go numb once he just gets his dick in you, and then you'll change, you'll start being eager and begging and everything he wants.

 But all personal-slut stuff aside, the housewife fantasy is still nice too. Cute domestic stuff. Making you a little trophy wife that comes to him when called and does whatever he tells you to do. Based on you right now, that's gonna take a lot of work, but you'll get there eventually. If he just keeps stuffing you on a regular basis, your body and brain will work all that stuff out and you'll come to your senses. Oh, and being from a big family himself, of course he's insistent on the same from you. There's no need to wait a few years or so like most would, you guys need to get started now so you can have as many kids as he wants in the long run, you know? Not a whole lot, just a dozen or so. Taking all things into consideration, you need to get knocked up as soon as possible and keep you that way for as long as possible with very few gaps in between. He can make it work, no need to have a stable situation beforehand. Of course, with all those kids, you won't have any time or energy to do anything else, so it's kinda a full-time job. Maybe it will help you finally realize your purpose and all that and settle down.

 No protests are going to be listened to, just so you know. Of course you say you don't want it, but that's just how you think now. Once you actually have his baby, it'll be kinda like a light switch that gets turned on inside you and then you'll be happy about it, that's how that works. Same way with everything else... you'll start to love it with time, once everything is done right.

  -----

  But yes to that one anon, Diluc is kinda in another tier of his own. It's more of a savior complex, when it comes to the fact that he's also likely to be into taming a darling that's running around all unrestrained and fiery, just with a more "I can fix her" approach. He sees you in your... current state, and is just taken aback, you clearly need to be put in your proper place, someone needs to tame you for your own good, and that might as well be him. Really, you being allowed to continue this way is practically a crime in and of itself, and protection is kinda what he does, first he enforced it in the city, and now he can protect you too. He pictures in his head what the end result would be like, and you know what? He sees potential in you. Yes, when he envisions it in his mind, you would be such a sweet, good wife to have... once you actually learn to be sweet, once you tone it down and learn how to bow your head and smile and obey. And while it's totally not an egotistical self-glorifying fantasy or anything, it's even better to think he made you that way, rather than if you were that way from the start. Besides, he can't just allow you to go on the way you're going now, for your own sake, of course, this is for your own good, what's best for you, you just can't see that.

 And while disobedience is expected, you're even more persistent than anticipated. It's a habit of yours that will have to be dealt with very quickly. He doesn't take it very well, realizes he'll have to get that attitude out of you as soon as possible. It's not becoming of you. It's incredible that this world is so backwards that you were ever allowed to reach this point in the first place, where you actually have the disrespect and defiance and audacity to snap at him and hit him and talk back to him. Really, what kind of people raised you? Or maybe, if you're not from Mondstadt, that might explain it. Maybe they just don't do things right wherever you're from. Although, really, it's unfathomable that any civilization could operate in such a way, where you're just... allowed to do whatever you want? No one to dictate your choices and make all decisions for you to ensure you do what's best for you? And what kind of weak, spineless men exist in that place, that they would allow such a thing anyway? Well, whatever. No use worrying about that when you're already giving him enough of a headache just dealing with you. What's important now is that he fixes you. He keeps telling himself the results will be worth it.

 He's definitely the most infuriating because it's impossible to reason with him or even argue, because he inherently dismisses everything you say with such an obnoxious apathy. Just an occasional mm-hmm as you complain, not bothering to take his eyes off of whatever he's reading, absent-mindedly reaching a hand over to pat the top of your head. Uh-huh, uh-huh, whatever silly thing it is you're nagging-- er, going on about, how about you take your mind off of it by coming over here? Just sit in his lap for a bit and calm down, you'll feel better. Or go... clean something, get that frustration out in a productive way. It's not a big deal. It's in your nature to complain about unimportant things. Actually... ah, he gets it. You're not even upset. You just want attention. He can give you a bit, but he does need to get work done, too. He can give you more attention when it's done.

 You also double as a sort of trophy. Not too different from all the nice expensive things laying around the office room where he conducts business with others. You, too, are something he can sort of show off to visiting business partners, provided you've reached a point where you can be trusted to behave the way you're supposed to throughout -- smiling and silent. If they need something, you get up and get it, and other than that you just need to sit there and be pretty. It's an easy job, so you should be grateful. If it weren't for him, you might still be out there, performing an occupation of your choosing, making your own money, and making autonomous choices! How awful, bet you're glad you're here now, where you're provided for. It's not good for you to work, after all. It would be weird, since you're supposed to be fully dependent.

 Overall, he definitely enforces standards of femininity way more than the others -- you have to dress a certain way, talk a certain way, act a certain way. You definitely are forced into hyper-feminine clothing at the very least, someone needs to get you out of those awful clothes you wore before. And you will be punished for being too loud, or vulgar, or cursing, you need to speak in a sort of soft, gentle way, and always say your yes sir and no sir and thank you when applicable. Smile when you talk to others, when guests are present too... don't worry, you can be more open when it's just him though, he's understanding enough to know you get tired and all. He'll correct little things, too. Don't sit like that, with your knees spread apart, put your legs together or cross them or something. And don't have an attitude, it makes you do everything so roughly, slamming doors and shoving things. Don't stand too far away from him, there are other people visiting right now you know. Don't speak to them or look them in the eye, either, it's improper.

 And most of all, stop trying to be so... so... assertive. He can't really think of the right word. It's just unnatural, this way you behave. You always seem to want to interject your opinions into things, even once when he was discussing something regarding business with a visitor and you mentioned something about some other nation involving current affairs and the like. Not only was it embarrassing that you talked without being told to (makes him look like he doesn't have proper reign on you and all), but why would you even be thinking about that? See, this is your problem. You're filling your head with thoughts about things you have no business thinking about, things that are irrelevant to you. Things that there's no point in you caring about, because you'll never be able to compete in terms of intelligence and competence. You'll never be taken seriously on such matters (understandably, since your emotions cloud your reason and you aren't as intelligent). Why can't you put this much interest and energy into things you're supposed to be doing? Sigh.

 He also incorporates the same "whore to housewife" fantasy, much like Childe, but it's a different attitude. It's not just about the ego boost, it's about it being the right thing to do. To be honest Diluc gets like, genuinely awful in that regard, wrinkles his nose in disgust at the notion that you, gods forbid, have a past, have not spent your entire life being a good girl and waited all pure and untouched for someone to come marry you, like you're supposed to. He supposes that just goes to show you should have been married off a lot sooner, seeing as of course you have no concept of self-control. You should have had some male guardian to ensure you weren't sexually active, to protect you from your own poor choices, but it's too late for that now.

 Still, you can be reformed. It's kind of sad, really, he has some pity for you. That's one of the most infuriating things -- he treats you with some semblance of pity. Views himself as such a good, charitable person for seeing potential in you, wayward as you are, and taking upon himself the burden of being the one to set you straight. But it's necessary, noble even. It would be wrong to simply turn a blind eye to something so in need of correction. If he sees a problem, he fixes it. Simple. And it's a win-win, because he can both fix you and help himself. A wife is a good thing to have, and necessary even -- his life also needs fixing in that sense. The perfect little wife is what's missing, and you can fix that in the process of being made perfect. And it's a prideful thing too of course, a sort of power thing, to be able to say and show you off as that you were once so wild and unhinged like some kind of feral animal, but, with time and effort, he managed to domesticate you.

 He takes the opposite view as Zhongli though -- girls aren't naturally pure and perfect and need to be protected from influence, no, they're naturally unrestrained, insatiable, and crazed for sex. Like a literal bitch in heat. It's part of why they can't be trusted to make decisions for themselves. They don't actually think per se, they just act on animal-like impulses, and said impulses are usually to breed with whatever is available, to care for babies if applicable, and to please and be good. Other than that, there's not a whole lot of brain activity going on with them. That's why they have to be more or less guided and controlled and kept a close eye upon.

 Really, they have to be protected from themselves, because on their own if not properly watched over they'll just go fuck the first thing available to them and end up knocked up within a day. Why do you think they used to be kept inside and watched over all the time? It was to prevent that from happening, of course. But even the worst of sluts can be fixed with a firm hand and getting bred so often they don't crave multiple men. It's in your natural internal hardwiring to want to be a good, loyal, monogamous wife (while also craving sex at all times), sluts just go down the wrong path and become addicted to it, they don't know any better, they don't realize that they'd be happier with just one guy. Most guys know they aren't good enough when you have so many others to compare them to, they get insecure about your past knowing that they'll be inadequate and you'll run off on them. Not him, though. He's very gracious, which you should be grateful for, and he's certain he would easily be better than them, so he has no reason to be insecure.

 That's why this is doing you a favor. Of course, given your... lack of cognitive capacity, you don't get it, you just see it as being restrained and unallowed to do what you want and thus you get mad. You're incapable of understanding why this is good for you. Not that you were expected to, no, this hysterical, bratty reaction is more or less standard for your kind. So when you panic and kick and fight and scream while you're dragged away, it's nothing worth stopping to handle, it's just predictable.

 On its own, your intensity of willpower is not a bad thing. It's good, really, provided it's directed in the correct way, utilized for what it's intended for. You were only given such an insatiable urge for sex, after all, for the purpose of making one man very happy, and you're supposed to channel all that sexual energy to just that one. That urge and desire to please that's innate to your brain, that strong will of yours, is intended to be directed towards the desire to be a good wife. Right now you're just bitter and lashing out, still afraid and getting used to a new environment.

 There's another issue, though, upon first obtaining you. You have to be married. It's improper otherwise, you know. Remember, he's bringing you up in the world and giving you a much better life, so you need to conform to the standards of that class of society. It's just the right thing to do, and you can't sleep together beforehand... Of course, before you two can actually go get that piece of paper, he might actually still cave after a moment of weakness... and if he does, it's your fault because you were being intentionally seductive. Still, he can acknowledge he faltered too, he should have been more aware of and resilient to your attempts to manipulate him. Everyone makes mistakes.

 Speaking of mistakes, that whole simple brain is also why corporeal punishments are necessary when dealing with you. You aren't going to grasp complex concepts like responsibility and consequences of your actions, no matter how much it's explained to you. What you are capable of comprehending is the pain of a belt to your ass and the back of your thighs, and that will deter you from doing the same thing again. It's unfortunately necessary. You won't respond to any other form of correction. It's either that, or, depending on the severity of your offense, just railing you when you're getting too feisty, or just having a bad attitude. Or both methods, that works too, really helps make the point sink in.

 Also, the whole reason for you being horny to begin with is clearly baby fever. You need to be bent and bred and stuffed with cum. No wonder you were so insatiable, you were using protection before! Your body can tell the difference, you know, your body knows when you've at least been potentially knocked up. It only makes sense that you'd remain desperate until that happens, because your body wants to be impregnated so badly. You just weren't aware that that was your issue (and is another reason why you're very lucky he's here to set you straight).

 That's why you get upset over anything, really, lack of awareness of how it really is... and it being in your nature. Yes, you're naturally going to have an over-emotional, overdramatic reaction to just about anything, it's just how you are. He can tolerate it... he finds it kind of cute, even... the realization of which just seems to make you angrier. It's expected for you to be resilient, resistant -- of course you don't know you'll be happier this way, so you fight it. Change can be scary, you're not used to it yet, so it just needs time... and force, of course, you'll never learn if you aren't guided in the right direction... you just need to be guided a little more firmly than others. Not that it's all negative, of course. Encouragement and positive reinforcement is necessary too. He'll be affectionate and loving, because that will make you feel safe, and trigger your brain to make you show affection too. It'll all work out in the end.

[down-in-devildom]

Hello! I saw that your request is open. Can I request for some hcs for the brothers with a very giving mc, but when they try to do something nice for them they get defensive/guilty like "who are you why are you nice to me I'M the nice one here, don't do nice things for me I feel bad?!?" And tries not to burden them in any way. Thank you! I love the way you write uwu

Thank you for the request! Also, I hope people will let others do nice things for them without thinking they don't deserve it or something. You are worth being treated well!!!😤 I also had a hard time naming this request...

Brothers react to MC not accepting returned favors 

cw: guilt tripping(?)

Lucifer

Lucifer was enjoying a date with MC after completing a sizable portion of his work early thanks to them lending a hand. They were dining at the Ristorante Six when he noticed MC scanning the menu very intensely

The grimace the MC did every so often raises some concerns for him. When the MC says that they want to order a small soup of the day, Lucifer looks at them with a raised brow

He could have sworn MC would be famished after having their lunch stolen from them by Beelzebub around noon. MC could not have possibly have had the time to eat a snack, what with all the paperwork and organizing they did for him after classes to try to lighten his workload

When Lucifer asked if that would be enough, MC's stomach let out a mighty roar in response. Lucifer was now suspicious that MC was holding back for some reason so he decides to order the food for the both of them. He signals for a waiter and makes sure to order MC's soup of the day as well as a dish or two he believes would be to their taste

When MC starts to protest about not wanting to be a burden and have him pay a fortune, Lucifer waves off the concerns and assures them they needn't worry about that. Besides, he wants nothing more than for MC to enjoy themselves after helping him earlier

"I don't want to burden you and make you pay for my meal. I am always happy to help but I don't want you to feel obligated to do something in return."

Lucifer is taken aback before he sighs and gives MC a serious and pointed look. "I am a demon that takes pride in my ability to deal out suitable punishments and rewards as I see fit. It will do you well not to question my generosity"

Mammon

Mammon felt like he was in debt to MC for helping him study and pass his latest exam. He could not afford to fail his fourth semester in a row without Lucifer finding out and skinning him alive! He doesn’t normally feel the need to do anything to actually pay people back, but he felt like he really owed MC for this one

When Mammon and MC were visiting the flea market to find some cool trinkets that can probably be resold for a profit on Akuzon, he noticed the MC’s gaze lingering on a small golden ring with intricate engravings. He makes a bit of a show of paying for the ring before losing some of his bravado and shoving his hand in the MC’s face and demanding they take it

MC looks a bit confused before thinking it was something that Mammon thought would resell well and tried to put it in the basket they carried to hold the rest of their haul

“No, ya got it all wrong. I got it for ya to- ya know- thank ya for helpin’ me the other day. I woulda been a goner without you...or something” he mumbles while trying not to look directly at them

“That’s funny and all but what’s the catch? I’m pretty sure you don’t normally give away things or do anything without expecting anything in return”

Although MC does not appear to mean any harm from the comment, it kind of stung a little for Mammon. They can’t seem to grasp that they were special and he WANTED to give them things.

Mammon becomes a bit more sullen about the ordeal and may not give anything directly to the MC from then on. He will opt instead to leave little trinkets in their room or claim he found some trash he needed to get rid of (even though it would clearly be something of value). He does not really know how to show his thanks in any other way so he is kind of stuck in a cycle of trying to backhandedly show his gratitude without his motives being questioned

Satan

Satan’s room was an absolute mess, more so than usual, when MC was kind enough to lend a hand in helping him organize his massive collection of books into something a little less chaotic

He found an ancient tome full of old runes and herbal medicines that he thought he saw MC flipping through while taking a quick break from organizing his things, and assumed it would be a nice token of his gratitude. It was inlaid with gold leaf and the engraved relief on the cover was done with a clearly skilled hand, making the old book really stand out

“Please, take this tome as payment for your time. I would have lost my mind, surely, if you did not help me in my time of need, like you did”

MC’s eyes widened with surprise before seeming to nod and say they would return the book to him later, after they take down some notes for their next hex exam. When he clarifies that he wishes for them to keep the book, MC looked taken aback

“I couldn’t possibly take one of your books! I don’t expect anything for helping you out and you shouldn’t feel the need to pay me back for something I was more than willing to do anyway. It is kind of weird for you to want to give away your books like this when you closely monitor anybody else that takes them”

Satan’s eyebrow twitches just the slightest and he has to keep his smile in place to try to not alarm MC when his irritation spikes slightly. They don’t seem to understand that him thanking them with a gift versus him guarding his collection from Mammon are two different things entirely

He leans a bit into the MC’s space with his smile still plastered on and looks them dead in the eyes. “Do you mean to tell me that the tome is not to your liking?” MC kind of feels forced to take the book and thanks Satan before making a hasty retreat to their own room. Satan takes the newfound space to clear his mind and start thinking of other ways that he can possibly approach the matter in the future without pressuring MC into accepting his generosity

Asmodeus

Asmo’s life and reputation was saved when MC responded to his emergency text asking for a very specific shirt to be brought to his photoshoot. One of the assistant demons did NOT get the memo when he said that he was more of a skull-scream peach kind of guy then a wailing-melon toned guy and the outfit assembly was not doing his beautiful complexion any favors

When Asmo got out from his shoot, he felt like he absolutely had to repay MC for going out of the way for him. He went straight to Majolish and picked out a new outfit for them that he was sure they would look absolutely fantastic in and then hurried home to wrap it up nicely 

Asmo presents the gift with flourish before asking for the MC to open it so he can watch their reaction. Asmo was not disappointed by the stunned look on their face and the silent ‘o’ their mouth made, but got a little put out when they said they could not possibly accept it. Didn’t they like it? Surely he did not pick something that wasn’t to their taste

“I can’t accept this, Asmo, it is way too sweet and generous of a gift! I had to go in the direction of your shoot today anyway so it wasn’t a burden to drop off your shirt. Please don’t reward me for something like that!”

Asmo has met a variety of demons and people over the millenia and can tell that there was something about the gift itself that was making them uncomfortable. He still is firm with them and insists that if he spent the grimm on them, they should take the gift, but starts thinking of other ways to maybe show his thanks in the future

Do words of praise and gratitude make them squirm? How about physical affection? Would a kiss count as a thanks they are willing to accept? He sure hopes so but he wants to show he appreciates them and will try to show it in any way possible until they accept it

Beelzebub

Beelzebub was starving! More so than usual and that is not a pretty sight. He was at RAD during one of the classes when he noticed that his snack bag had mysteriously gone missing when he tried to reach in to pull out a protein bar. His stomach loudly protested and he was starting to eye up some of his classmates as if they were on the menu. MC saved the day when they came rushing in with the aforementioned missing snack bag, that they found in the hallway

Beel was able to happily munch away for the rest of the lesson and it seemed like the whole class let out a collective sigh of relief. Beel was very grateful for the MC taking the time to deliver him his snack bag and decided to treat them to Hell’s Kitchen after school 

MC agreed to go willingly and ordered their food while Beel asked for well over half the menu. After they ate, Beel reached for the tab but found slight resistance when he finally looked at the bill and saw MC’s hand was also on it. When Beel stated that it was his treat for them saving him early, he was met with some pushback

“Please do not feel like you have to pay for me. Giving you the snack bag was for everybody’s benefit, so it actually came from a place of selfishness, really. I do not deserve you paying for me.”

Beel’s heart pinged a little at that. Did MC mean he was so close to losing control that they only helped him out of pity? Out of fear? He knew he was a big and his hunger knew no end, but it kind of hurt to be seen as a threat that needed to be controlled with readymade snack bags like that

Beel kind of shakes it off quickly enough and starts to think that maybe they just didn’t like the meal as much as him and was trying to spare him from paying for something they didn’t really want. He takes the time to watch MC over the next few days to see if there are other foods that they may like better. That was the problem, right? Maybe something from Madam Screams was more their style? How about that crepes stand in the park that was super delicious?

Belphegor

Belphegor was not having a great day. For one, he was awake and for two, he was tasked with doing laundry for HoL this week and he was super behind on his assigned chore. If Asmo pestered him one more time about properly separating out the colors and Lucifer lectured him about how to properly fold fitted sheets, he may just have to be imprisoned in the attic again. Luckily for him, MC took some time out of their schedule to help him finish quicker

Belphie was thankful enough that he figured he could allow them to nap with him as an award. Do not mind the fact that MC always takes naps with him but this time can be a little bit special. He nicked a projector from RAD the following day and set it up in the attic so that it would project constellations on the walls and ceilings. He also made a really comfortable pillow fort for them to share. This took a lot of work on Belphie’s part so it was a privilege for MC to join him

When the MC finally arrived at the attic after Bephie texted them to meet him up there, they were not expecting the space to be turned into such a nice and cozy room. Belphie explained that it was as a thank you for the help the other day after they kept just standing in the doorway. He then demanded they came and laid down with him

“You didn’t have to put all this work into making this space for me! It was just folding laundry. It wasn’t that big of a deal, I promise”

Belphie turns his back on them and kind of pouts into his pillow. If they don’t appreciate him sacrificing sleep to make them happy and feel appreciated, then who cares. He can nap just fine by himself and he is hard press to prove the point

After the MC stands there for a little bit and then finally decides to join him in the pillow fort, Belphie ignores them for a bit. Neither of them move from their spots until Belphie sighs and rolls over to use their chest as a pillow. If all this work really was for nothing, he might as well enjoy his well-earned nap better with a warm body pillow

-------

hmmmmmmmmmmmmm....I gave up on proof reading this part way so I hope it is okie dokie

-Leo

[maryse127]

So about earlier

My mom has had a bad memory for A While but lately it's gotten worse and worse and she is also confused a lot and basically you shouldnt leave her alone for extended periods of time. Which means that on vacation I was basically the second adult on the trip after my dad. It means I had to guide and watch over my mom when having toilet breaks on the way home in a roadside restaurant as if she were a child instead of my mom. Tell her which way to go. Guide her back to the car. That kinda stuff.

She has always been annoying and moody but on top of that nowadays she just doesnt do shit anymore and constantly asks the same thing and forgets things and gets offended when you tell her that yes we did indeed already ate the pastries.

And honestly I cannot take it. It's nothing but tension at home. It's the constant repetition of questions and getting offended when you answer them. It's the fact that she used to be mad serious about having a clean home and now she doesnt do jackshit in terms of housekeeping but still complains that she is the only one ever doing things. My dad cooks. I do my own laundry. It's having to babysit my own goddamn mother. It's her always complaining about stuff like an old injury she refuses to let a doctor look at. It's her slamming a door at 3 am. It's my dad who always knows to say the wrong thing. It's my own guilt at despising and not trusting my mom with anything.

I have to go there basically every weekend because of the specifics of my student housing (no washing machine or space to hang clothes to dry, having a room inside the house of someone who likes quiet private weekends (I can stay the weekend if I want but the default is going to my parents)). And I hate it. I feel such a pressure to finish this masters in 1 year just to get a job and find a home and be free of them. This is also why I am so worried about the housing crisis going on in this godforsaken country with its shit government.

And my dad managed to get her to see a doctor after she once admitted she wasmt doing too well. But then she started denying anything was wrong amd she was feeling fine. The doctor agreed she is, in fact, not completely fine. So further examination but it takes forever to see a specialist so while I am glad there is a start at maybe improving things in the future it won't do anything for me now

Fast forward to earlier today. My dad suddenly created a groupchat with me and my brother and without my mom. The message basically came down to 'I have to go away for 2 days for work and I dont want mom to be alone so I need one of you to babysit tomorrow night'

Obviously he worded it much nicer amd respectfully but this is what it comes down to for me.

And my brother would do it, bless his soul, he has the patience and kindness for it, probably because he sees her so infrequently, but has plans tomorrow night.

So the burden falls to me. Apart from absolutely not wanting to spend time with her it also messes with my own planning a lot. I got groceries for the entire week now I have to go have dinner with my mom tomorrow. It also takes forever to get there with public transport because I have to take the bus home instead of having a bike at the station or have my dad pick me up there. While I also have a fuck ton of studying.

Like I finally after all this time get to be a student and get a real student life but nope have to go home and babysit.

Also fuck my dad with his very passive agressive whatsapp usage even tho he doesnt mean it that way.

Those messages happened during class so I basically cried from frustration in a lecture hall. Nobody even noticed. I am not sure if I am glad or sad about that.

It's just so unfair. It's just all this tension that has built over all these years. It's just having parents that I never really felt emotional support from until my dad watched me have a panic attack during the first covid lockdown. And even then. He tries but it's just not good enough. He was never there when I was young and my mom never understood me. So yeah no wonder I struggle so much asking for help or just admitting I am not okay.

I just want a normal fucking family. I just want to not be stressed. I just want to be okay. I just want to be able to focus completely on studying instead of being distracted by this. I want my fucking headache to piss off. I want my fucking videogame delivered so I can at least have some escapism from all this shit.

[egcdeath]

Since you said we can send in request😄 how about a bachelor party for Steve and reader. Full of fun and romance.

bottoms up

summary: steve tells you all about his wild bachelor party. 

word count: 1.2k 

warnings: excessive drinking, terrible decisions, fluff, basically a crack fic, i barely use dialogue tags in this so you’re just gonna have to guess who’s talking

author’s note: this was supposed to be a drabble. 

you can find my drabble masterlist here and my regular masterlist here <3

It had been a long, exhausting weekend of celebration. Of course, it was exhausting in the best way possible, but between the extensive spa days, bar hopping, and seeing more male strippers in one night than you'd seen in the entirety of your life, you were really looking forward to curling up in bed with your fiancée.

It seemed Steve was feeling similarly to you, as he was already pajama clad and sprawled across your bed by the time you arrived home.

You quickly freshened up and joined him on the mattress, slipping under your duvet and cuddling up to Steve.

“How was your weekend?” Steve asked, rubbing circles on your back.

“Exhausting. I could probably sleep for years.”

He chuckled softly at your statement, “well, don’t do that. Wanna talk about it?”

“I’ll tell you over breakfast tomorrow. I don’t think I have the energy to come up with the words right now,” you aimlessly played with the hem of his shirt. “What about you guys? Why don’t you tell me a bachelor party bedtime story?”

“It was… a lot. I almost called you several times. Let’s just say that Sam... stopped me.”

“That bad, eh? Tell me everything,” you gushed.

“Well we were supposed to go camping. I don’t know who decided that was a good idea. Actually I do, it was Thor. It took about half an hour before Tony was starting arguments with everyone. I think he was getting moody about having to be in the outdoors away from all his tech, and something about how bachelor parties aren’t supposed to be like this. We didn’t even get to dinner before he insisted that we find a nice hotel to stay at for the night, and go to a club.”

“You guys don’t really seem like campers anyway. What happened after that?”

“I was getting there before you interrupted me.”

“There was a natural lull in your story.”

“Whatever. So we pack everything up and go back out to town. There was some boujee ass hotel Tony knew about and took us there, but there were no rooms. So he was like ‘make room’ and the staff told him that they would try but they just needed a minute. So Buck suggested that we go to the hotel bar, and we did. The only problem is that alcohol doesn’t have the same effect on some of us that it does with others, so Thor had to break out the Asgardian mead. And he had a lot of it.”

“Oh no, I feel like this is not going in a good direction.”

“You’re absolutely right, because one second I’m sitting in a hotel bar, and the next I was half conscious on a private jet.”

“Steve! You did not black out. That’s not very responsible of you.”

“I was peer pressured! Besides, I don’t think I did anything too bad. Did you not get super drunk for at least one night?”

You pondered the question for a moment, “hmm. Go on.”

“So I wake up on a private jet, not like a Quinjet, but like, a real plane. No idea where I am or where we’re going. Sam is the most sober among us by the time I’m awake, but still pretty drunk. Keep in mind I’m also a little out of it. I ask him where we’re going, and he told me Las Vegas. At this point I’m not surprised, but I want to call you to let you know that I’m no longer in New York, and I start to take my phone out of my pocket to call you, and he flips his shit. He grabs my phone and dunks it in a glass of water, and starts saying that if I use the phone on the flight, our flight will crash.”

“You’re joking.”

“Nope. Now I’m phoneless, but I’m not really mad. Honestly, I thought it was funny in the moment. My memory’s a little blurry, but I feel like we laughed ‘till we landed.”

“Please tell me that the crazy events end here.”

“Oh, Sweetheart,” Steve chuckled.

“Christ, Steve.”

“So we get off the plane and at this point, I realize that Bruce must’ve left before we boarded. I don’t even blame him. This trip probably would’ve made me Hulk-out too. Anyway, we take an Uber to our hotel. Our poor Uber driver, he was so starstruck and excited to have Avengers in his car, but like, everyone was completely out of it. And to make things worse, Bucky threw up in the back.”

“No,” you gasped.

“Yeah. It’s only a matter of time before tabloids get ahold of that. Remind me to call our PR person in the morning.”

“Got it.”

“We finally get to this hotel, and I guess at some point while I was blacked out, Tony had booked us some penthouse suite at one of those really nice hotels. I can’t really remember how we got up there, but I know it was a struggle. I was just glad to be able to go to sleep in a real bed. By the time I wake up, I desperately need an Advil and a call home. Unfortunately, I can’t have either, since everyone starts insisting that the best way to beat a hangover is to drink more. To be fair, I slept in pretty late. So it’s kind of a reasonable time to drink now. If you consider time zone differences. That aside, I’m sipping on a beer when there’s a knock on the door-“

“I feel like I’ve heard enough of this story.”

“That’s fair.”

“But I’d also like to hear more. But this is stressing me out.”

“I made it back in one piece, what more do you want from me?”

“I want you to get a new friend group,” you whined.

“Is it bad that I want the same for myself?”

“I think that’s perfectly reasonable.”

“Okay, so back to the knock on the door. I’m getting a little nervous, because I specifically told the guys no strippers. That was just a can of worms I didn’t want to open. And I think there’s gonna be a stripper at the door, but nope. Who opens the door? Fucking Loki. I don’t know why they came, or how they found us, but they were ready to party. Suffice it to say I do not remember the majority of that day. All I can say is that there was way too much gambling happening, and if I found out that Tony is filing for bankruptcy, I would not be surprised.”

“That is… wow.”

“I’ll give you one more thing before you go to sleep. Someone got married to a stranger. They’re gonna get it annulled but.. I did attend a wedding ceremony where an Elvis impersonator was the officiant,” Steve leaned over to his bedside table and turned off the lamp that was dimly illuminating the room. “Goodnight.”

“You are such an asshole! You don’t get to leave me on a cliffhanger like that.”

“I need you to be excited and engaged for when I finish my story tomorrow!”

“Fair,” you huffed and snuggled closer to your fiancée.

“Was it Sam?” you asked after a moment of silence.

Steve quietly laughed at you instead of responding.

“Nope. It was definitely Bucky. I’m right, right?” you pressed.

More silence from Steve.

“No way. Thor?”

His snickers became louder at this, and you gasped.

“I said I’ll tell you in the morning.”

“I don’t like when you keep secrets from me,” you prompted, trying to guilt trip your partner.

“Fine. It was Thor. But that’s all you’re getting from me for now.”

“Oh my god. Why wasn’t my bachelorette party as exciting as yours?”

[zv5x]

So uhh,,, I'm starting to get into writing again after restarting everything, so to really warm myself up I'm doing the Yandere ABC's prompt thingy with Spirit! Cause I need the Spirit simps to return to my blog and cause Spirit is my main source of serotonin!!! Plz enjoy teehee, and I promise I'll get to all of your requests soon! let me have my Spirit simping hour, I need it very much ( :̲̅:̲̅:̲̅[̲̅:♡:]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅) Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get? - Spirit is VERY intense affection wise, and is almost always holding onto you in one way or another. Whether that be laying his head on your chest and purring quietly, or by insisting that your hand stays connected with his while outside, he's always making sure he has a good handle on you. He's also very protective and caring, so expect to be feeling a lot safer in the future. And I mean a LOT safer. Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling? - Spirit was never a big fan of wasting his time on the filth that keeps the two of you apart, so he likes to keep rival elimination quick and painless. However, if he feels that whoever he's killing isn't worthy of a quick death, he will most definitely accommodate to that fact. Or, if you ask him to kill someone and specifically request for it to be long and messy, he'd do it without a shread of hesitation. After all, he'd do anything to prove his loyalty to you. Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them? - Mocking you isn't in Spirit's vocabulary. He could never treat you with a shread of inhumanity (unless that is, he sees it as needed), as he feels you deserve the best and nothing but the best. He owes his life to you! You saved him, you showed him that the world wasn't nearly as vile as he once thought. Treating you with anything less than the love and adoration that you deserve just doesn't seem like a concept to him even. If he get's to the point where he sees abduction as necessary, he might do the occasional "ara ara" type shit while stepping on your chest though lol, he can get like that sometimes. He'd step on you very gently, though..he doesn't want to hurt you too bad Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will? - Before you even got him out of the game in which he was trapped, he was very creepily overbearing. Though, he couldn't directly show that considering he wouldn't ever get let out then. He'd just keep tabs on all your devices through the shadows. P.S., it was very kind of you to make a ROM of his game for your laptop for him to move into! It made things so much easier for him! Now he can have a much easier time watching you sleep and hearing you breathe when he's placed right by your side on your bed (you said you didn't want him to be lonely, which he thought was very kind and cute of you. It's exactly why he adores you so much). It also makes it so much easier to look through your phone since you have that data connected to your laptop as well. Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling? - What was that, (Y/N)? Spirit's actions are making you doubt his undying love for you? No fear! He'll pour his entire heart to you right then and there! He'll list of just every little thing about you that makes his heart beat fast, he'll also lovingly alert you to the fact that he owes his life along with everything that he is, all to you! He wouldn't be alive or free if it wasn't for you! The coding of his game would have crumbled and basically ate him alive, so without you he'd probably be dead. Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back? - A combination of betrayal and confusion. Confusion, due to the fact he just doesn't understand why you'd want to leave him. Isn't this exactly what you humans consider true love? The idea of being with someone who would gladly bare any level of agony just to be the only one you gaze upon, the idea of someone being willing to go to any

length just to see that smile of yours that they always adore seeing, how is this not what humans consider love? The feeling of betrayal from you doing something as selfish as trying to leave him, the pain could almost eat him alive. How could you? He's done everything for you, he's given you every inch of love and affection that he has to offer, and you repay him by trying to leave him all alone? Expect the biggest guilt trip you've ever experienced. "I thought you loved me, dearest! Why would you try and leave me?!" Along with millions of demands to know who you were running away to. There had to be some place for you to go when you left him after all, so whose throat does he have to slit just to prove to you how much he adores you? Go on, don't be shy, tell him! Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape? - The hunting you down aspect of all of this? Yeah, I guess he could consider it a game. But the thing is, he never really considers what he's doing Hunting you down unless you're directly trying to run from him. So, at that point, hunting you down is exactly what he's doing. Spirit considers everything he's doing to be completely understandable and normal for human relationships. So he definitely doesn't consider what he's doing to be a "game" or anything else similar. His love for you isn't just some game, it's serious and it's all he has Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them? - If you ever dare cheat on him, expect to see the last thread of sanity he has in him just snap right before your eyes. He could never kill you, no. But your little partner? Expect them to be torn to shreads right before your very eyes. Ever hear one of those crazy ass yandere laughs? Yeah. He'd pull that too. He'd quite literally go ballistic, getting up when who you cheated on him with isn't even recognizable, screaming at you and demanding to know the reason for your disloyalty. He did everything for you! And you just go on and pull shit like this? No. He won't accept it. You won't get away with it. He still loves you of course, and will remind you of that fact every millisecond, but you can tell he just isn't the same. More possessive, more angry and suffocating. Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling? - Spirit definitely wants to marry you. Like, this is a fact. He's basically your fiance without even proposing to you yet. He'd definitely enjoy a few kids as well, but only if you want them as well and are able to have them. He understands any reason you might not want kids, and he won't pressure you. Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope? - He's like, literally the CEO of jealous (As well as the CEO of protectiveness). His protective nature causes him to be extremely suspicious of others and their intentions. Sometimes if he feels that person was getting a little too friendly with you, he'll possessively wrap his arms around you while you're talking to them and growl at them until they power walk away out of fear. Sometimes while the two of you are cuddling he'll subtly and quietly bite your neck to leave marks. Or, sometimes he just goes for the more direct route, and offs anyone who he saw as in his way. He can't have anyone walking in on private property thinking it's their own, can he? Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling? - He's usually extremely understanding and sweet. Spirit doesn't like having to use fear tactics to get his way, since he hates it when he has to resort to putting fear in you. Around you, Spirit is more loving than he ever was around anyone before. You're his precious darling after all! You saved him, you taught him what love was like. How could he not act painfully loving and sweet in your presence? You just make his heart flutter so violently. Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling? - Literally exploding Senpai's face off one day while you were paying his game. He's just been watching you for so long, allowing

Senpai to soak up all your love and attention. He just couldn't contain the jealousy, or the rage. He didn't get what Senpai did to be getting so much affection from you. So, he got rid of the problem. Senpai. He was able to convince you Senpai was completely unalive and unfeeling, just lines of code. Which, he was lines of code, but Spirit knew very well that he was aware of the world and environment around him, and could very much so be considered...alive. However, you didn't need to know that. Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else? - Kinda? You know how protective and jealous he can be, but he completely hides the fact he's literally committed murder. He doesn't want you to think of him as some heartless monster, now does he? That wouldn't do at all. He needs you to adore him, just as much as he adores you. He wants you to be fully willing to marry him, and live out the rest of eternity with him. How could that happen if the very thought of him scares you? Naughty: How would they punish their darling? - The usual, causing you physical pain. His methods of doing this vary, along with the severity of the pain. But, lucky for you it takes a lot to get him to the point to where he sees punishment as the only way. Additionally, if you allow him too, he could get a little...lewder with the punishments... Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling? - Not many, if everything goes by his plan. However, if you refuse to do what he says, he'll take away as many rights as he can. Physical freedom, friends, family, and everything else in between. If he feels something is keeping you from him, he'll snatch it away in a millisecond. You don't need it. However, if everything goes to plan, then great! He's so happy you realize that your future is with him, and only him! Patience: How patient are they with their darling? - Oh, he's extremely patient! That is, unless you do something to upset him. Don't show too much fear, don't yell or scream at him, don't deliberately make him jealous, or do anything similar, and everything will be okay! He understands why you might be a little reluctant, as you've probably never had someone as loving and adoring as him in your life! So much affection being given to you is something you need to get used to, he would know. It took him a little bit to fully adjust to all the love you had for him. Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on? - No. He wouldn't. Not in the slightest. He'd never be able to move on if you were to leave him forever. If you die, he could just chase you down to wherever you ended up considering he was a demon himself. But, if you somehow find a way to get away from him even after he chases you down? He'll be devastated. He thought you loved him, he loved you so much. He still does love you. He can't let you go, he just can't. He needs you. He lives for you. He craves you. You're his light, his everything, he can't imagine an existence without you by his side. But, that won't even happen, he won't let you go no matter what. You won't be able to loosen yourself from his grip. Not that you want to though, right? (Extra fact: Spirit wouldn't hesitate to resort to killing you himself, just so he could drag you down to Hell and keep you there forever. If it's something he needs to do, then he'll do it no questions asked. He hates causing you pain, he really does. But Spirit will do whatever it takes to have your love) Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go? - Spirit has a very warped view of love, so while he is capable of feeling guilt, he doesn't at all regret what he's done. He feels guilt for the way you cried when he tried snuggling you and holding you, he felt guilt for the way you trembled as he reached out to you, but he just couldn't feel bad for the people he damned and murdered. They were trying to take you away from him, and that's absolutely unforgivable. Stigma:

What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)? - Definitely his time in the Hating Simulator. He was completely ripped away from all contact with the outside world and everyone that inhabited it, human or not. He stayed like that for years, until his captors daughter finally decided to dispose of him. Then, somehow, he met you. You decided to pick his game and it's console up, and take him home. He didn't trust you at first, but soon, watching you talk to Senpai and get closer with him, he fell in love with you. Hard. He needed you in his life, he needed to keep you. He had to have you. You needed to be his, and his alone. Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves? - Confused, but still upset and guilty. He hates seeing you in pain, whether that pain be physical or mental. So to hear you scream and cry with such pain, it absolutely makes his heart shatter. But he just doesn't understand why you're acting in such agony...aren't you happy? Don't you love him? He'll probably look at you with a pained look in his eyes. He'll try and hold you in his arms and hold you close to his chest, no matter how hard you struggle. Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere? - Literally chasing you down to wherever you go, with no effort at all. He makes it so you CAN'T escape him, no matter how hard you try, and no matter who you cry to for help. With any other Yandere, there's always the possibility of escape. Whether it be by leaving their basement, killing them in self defense, getting them arrested, etc, etc. But with Spirit, there's nothing you can do. You're going to love him, or he'll make your life a living hell. Quite literally, in fact. Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape? - While there is literally no way to escape him, you can try and manipulate him to get whatever you wish. Spirit is extremely touch starved, to the point where he'll probably tremble and shake with pleasure if you do as much as reach out to him. Just hold him in your lap and let him purr into your neck as you run your finger through his hair, he'll be literal putty in your hands. While trying to use this against him to escape will result in harsh punishment, if you can think of anything you can get out of him using this then by all means go for it. Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling? - Only if needed. Spirit doesn't wish to cause you pain, but he won't hesitate to if he thinks it will make you love him and stop that hopeless struggling of yours. Spirit will make sure to cuddle you and kiss you after each punishment however, praising you in a soft whisper about how good you've been for him while he taught you a lesson. Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over? - If you want to know how much you mean to him, Spirit will without hesitation get on one knee and kiss the tips of your hand as he purrs words of pure love. He'll make sure you know just how loved and important you are to him by the end of the night, any way you wish for him to, no matter how direct or "explicit" Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap? - After escaping the Hating Simulator, maybe about a year Zenith: Would they ever break their darling? - If you were to "break" under his care, rest assured it was completely unintentionally. But, he'll still take your submission as a win. You're willing to tell you love him, you're willing to marry him and live a life with him, and that's all Spirit needs. He loves you so much ♡

[valley-of-the-lost]

The Emotional Abuse of Eden Starling

    I have a massive soft spot for Barbie movies. They defined most of my early childhood, from the music to the dress transformations. It was an intense nostalgia trip to revisit them when I was older and through a more comprehensive lens compared to when I saw them last. While I was doing this, one in particular stuck out to me. Barbie in a Christmas Carol. It was the version of the classic tale A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens that I had grown up with, and while my memories of it were fond, it didn’t trigger intense nostalgic reactions in me like ones like 12 Dancing Princesses did. So, naturally, I rewatched it to refresh my memory. And it immediately shot up to my favorite Barbie movie, at least, of the ones I have seen, because it handles surprisingly more mature and complex themes than you’d expect for a piece of early 2000’s kid’s media. I’d like to dissect one of these themes today: childhood abuse, specifically how Eden Starling, the protagonist of the movie, was abused by her caretaker, Aunt Marie.

Aunt Marie was emotionally abusing Eden throughout her childhood by overworking, socially isolating, guilting, shifting the blame, and asserting control over Eden through verbal manipulation. All of the above can be seen in the interaction between Eden and Marie in the Ghost of Christmas Past flashback section of the movie. While the conversation is brief and I am well aware that technically due to how short it is, it could possibly not be representative of Eden’s entire childhood, the movie treats it as the standard for their dynamic when Eden was a child, so that is how I will be treating it as well when analyzing the quality of Eden’s upbringing. So, without further ado, let’s parse out what tactics Marie employs on Eden throughout the conversation.

The scene opens with the Ghost of Christmas Past and Eden from the present (whom I will call “Present Eden” throughout the rest of this post aside from this scene summary) arriving in a room via a golden portal. Eden as a child (whom I will call “Past Eden” to differentiate her from Present Eden, again, aside from this summary) is sitting at a long table, resting her head on her arm and staring out the window at the snow falling outside. She has food in front of her, implying she was eating or expected to eat at some point, but she doesn’t touch it until her Aunt Marie says her name and walks into the room. Past Eden then straightens in her seat, looking more alert, and quickly eats all her food as her Aunt Marie enters the room while staring into a handmirror. After she is done, Eden asks if she can go to the Beadnell’s house for Christmas, where she had been invited by her friend Catherine Beadnell. Aunt Marie refuses, and says that after dinner they rehearse. Eden tries to press the issue, but is shut down and told to rehearse until dinner is ready.

Already the movie itself is calling attention to a major disparity in this scene: there is no indication of celebration within Marie’s household, be it Christmas or otherwise. The room Past Eden is sitting in is literally bare floorboards and blue wallpaper, with the only lighting being the dim sunlight streaming through the window. The decor itself is the epitome of the bare minimum; it’s wooden and matches the floorboards, giving the room a homogeneous appearance. Taken altogether, the dim lighting, cool color scheme, and general emptiness of the space gives the room a cold, lifeless feeling.

To further reenforce this, when the Ghost of Christmas Past thinks she accidentally didn’t send them to Christmas due to the room’s clearly lacking Christmas cheer, Present Eden corrects her by saying “No… this is right…” establishing that this is indeed how she spent her Christmases as a child. If that was not enough indication that something is definitely wrong, the Ghost of Christmas Past is still in disbelief, pointing out the absence of typical Christmas fixtures like a tree or stockings, but then she comes to a realization and says to Present Eden “Oh… you poor thing”. This expression of sympathy shows that there’s not just something off about this scene, something’s terrible about it that would warrant this sympathy in the first place. The conclusion from just this section of the scene would be that Eden was not very happy as a child, and never had what would be thought of as a “proper” Christmas growing up for one reason or another. So what was the reason for this? Why, Aunt Marie of course. Not just because she’s Past Eden’s guardian and therefore these responsibilities would fall onto her, but for other reasons that are revealed in the following conversation when Past Eden asks to go to the Beadnell’s house:

"Eden: I'm all done Aunt Marie. Can I go over to the Beadnell's house? 

Marie: Of course not. After dinner we rehearse. 

Eden: I know... But I thought we could... maybe make an exception today. Because it's Christmas! They all said they'd really love to see me there. Catherine even said it'd make her Christmas!"

This immediately ticks off two red flags: social isolation and overworking. Marie is preventing Past Eden from spending Christmas with Catherine and Catherine’s family, and by extension, denying her positive social interaction. In the context of the date being Christmas, Marie is also denying Past Eden a better Christmas with this action, as when Past Eden sneaks out to the Beadnell’s house, it can be seen that they celebrate a more typical Christmas. They have family, food, decorations, a tree, and presents, even some for Past Eden. This shows that Marie shows a lack of regard for Past Eden’s mental wellbeing, as positive social connections and interaction is critical to a child developing into a healthily functioning adult.     In addition to isolating Past Eden, there are implications that Marie is overworking Past Eden as well. It is obviously cruel to make a child work through a holiday when they obviously do not want to, but Past Eden’s wording (“...maybe make an exception today…”) insinuates that working through the day with no known breaks under any circumstances except to eat is the norm for her. Barbie and Kelly, the former of which is telling Eden’s story to the latter, also confirm this:

"Kelly: Wait... Aunt Marie is making Eden work on Christmas? 

Barbie: Well, every day. But yes, on Christmas too. 

Kelly: But that's not fair! 

Barbie: It's not. 

Kelly: And there's nothing Eden can do about it? 

Barbie: affirmative noise"

Forcing a child to rehearse day in and day out with no time off except to eat against their will is not natural; it’s controlling. It’s a bad sign for their future development and mental health, as this constant pressure to rehearse and by extension be good at this thing they are rehearsing for will likely end with them pinning their sense of self and self-worth on this one thing they’re working towards. Thus, they will have a harder time coping with failure at this one thing, or have no other emotional rapports to fall back on if something happens. Marie is not setting Past Eden up for a healthy adulthood here in any way. She has no regard for Past Eden’s mental wellbeing, and is not above employing manipulation to force Past Eden to agree to her demands, as she proceed to do when Past Eden tries to press her request:

"Marie: Make (Catherine's) Christmas? Make her Christmas? What about your Christmas? More importantly, what about your future? You want to be a star, don't you? 

Eden: I do, but- 

Marie: More than anything else in the world? 

Eden: Yes, but- 

Marie: Then what Catherine and the Beadnells want doesn't matter!..."

    Now, what happens here is that Marie guilts Past Eden for considering Catherine’s feelings and manipulates her answers to shift the blame for the circumstances onto Past Eden. This is all designed to browbeat Past Eden into submission so she will do what Marie wants. First, with the guilting, Marie shifts the conversation from spending time with Catherine to Past Eden’s future (“...What about your Christmas? More importantly, what about your future?...”). Her word choice of “what about” and “don’t you” suddenly imply that Past Eden is putting her future singing career in jeopardy by wanting to spend one day with Catherine. In essence, Marie is saying Past Eden is putting her entire future at risk just for the sake of catering to what the Beadnells want, completely ignoring that it’s what Past Eden wants as well, and thus making her feel guilty for putting something so important as her singing career on the line just for the Beadnells and their feelings.

    Marie also shifts the burden of the situation onto Past Eden over the course of the conversation, by suddenly placing it on Past Eden’s shoulders. “More importantly, what about YOUR future?” and “YOU want to be a star, don’t YOU?” both imply that Past Eden herself is responsible for the perceived obstacle (her singing aspirations) blocking her from going to Catherine’s house, and thus absolve Marie herself from any of the blame she has for creating this situation for Past Eden in the first place as her guardian.

    In order to guarantee that Past Eden will comply, Marie manipulates the conversation in her favor. First, she poses a yes or no question to Past Eden (“You want to be a star, don’t you?”) giving Past Eden reflexively predictable answers, so she can more easily get the response she wants and shut Past Eden’s objections down when Past Eden clearly has more to say by interrupting her (“I do, but-”...”Yes, but-”). She employs the same tactic again with “More than anything else in the world?”, except when she gets the affirmation she wants, she uses the absolute of “anything else in the world” to dismiss what Catherine and the Beadnells want, and by extension, what Past Eden wants. The message from this she’s sending Past Eden is that by her own desire to be a star more than anything else in the world, it’s her own fault for not being able to spend time with Catherine or the Beadnells because they fall under “anything else in the world”. In short, the problem is Past Eden’s fault. Which it isn’t, but Marie wants Past Eden to think that it is, so she bends to Marie’s will more easily. And eventually, she wants Past Eden to bend to her way of thinking too:

"Marie: Then what Catherine and the Beadnells want doesn't matter! What do I always tell you? 

Eden: In a selfish world, the selfish succeed. 

Marie: That's right. And if you want to succeed, you must use every second of your time selfishly. 

Eden: Yes, Aunt Marie. 

Marie: Good choice. I'm proud of you. Now go work your scales until dinner's ready." 

Marie defines how Past Eden should feel, and then tops it off with a dose of conditional affection. She makes Past Eden repeat a mantra she has told her in the past (hence the “always”): “In a selfish world, the selfish succeed”. Her goal is to make Past Eden internalize this value and eventually have it dictate her life, so she shuts down any other avenue for Past Eden to deviate from this. No Catherine, no Christmas, no disagreeing with her on any level.

Ironically, it should be said that Marie is telling Past Eden to be selfish and to “use every second of her time selfishly”, yet there’s no room for Past Eden herself to define “selfish” for herself. How can Past Eden truly live selfishly if she’s not allowed to define what selfish is for herself? She can’t, it’s a contradiction, and it exposes that Marie doesn’t want Past Eden to live selfishly with regard to herself. No, Marie wants Past Eden to live selfishly with regards to her, and wants Past Eden to only think she’s living selfishly for herself. A line earlier in the movie supports this and puts Marie pushing Past Eden to practice in a new light: “(In a selfish world, the selfish succeed) was my excuse for not having the talent to become a star myself!" This makes it seem like Marie was living vicariously through Past Eden due to her failed aspirations, like those dance moms who live through their daughters.

Of course, Past Eden finally relents to Marie as she’s no longer being allowed a voice in this conversation and Marie rewards her with “Good choice. I’m proud of you”. The “good choice” sounds vaguely threatening, as if implying there was a BAD choice in the first place, but the small bit of praise in “I’m proud of you” is an example of conditional affection, especially in the context of Marie giving it. Past Eden bowed to her wishes, thus she “earned” Marie’s affection. This is a bad message to send to Past Eden, as it says to her that she’s only worth the affection when she agrees with Marie. Essentially, she’s not worth loving as her own person, only as what Marie wants her to be.

After this, Past Eden sneaks out when her Aunt is asleep and sleds to Catherine's house. She briefly gets to celebrate Christmas with her friend and the rest of the Beadnells, but then a knock comes at the door. Aunt Marie had woken up and is there to yell at Past Eden and drag her back home.

When the knock comes, Present Eden’s reaction is worth noting, especially to determine how the following events affected her long after they initially occurred:

"Present Eden, to the Ghost of Christmas Past: Take me home. Now. 

Ghost of Christmas Past: Why? We're having so much fun! 

knocking gets louder and more insistent

Present Eden: NOW! 

Door opens to reveal Marie standing in the doorway

Aunt Marie: Where. Is. EDEN?!"

    Present Eden’s immediate distress with the smile vanishing off her face to be replaced with a scared expression at the sound of the knock and her increasingly insistent demands for the Ghost of Christmas Past to take her home before the door opens signifies that this particular part of the memory was traumatizing for her. It also implies that Eden, both Past and Present, is afraid of her Aunt Marie. This isn’t the first time Present or Past Eden have shown fear in Marie’s presence. Earlier, in the beginning of the flashback, when Aunt Marie addresses Past Eden, Present Eden recoils with a fearful expression on her face at the sound of Marie’s voice. Past Eden also has trouble keeping sustainable eye contact with Marie, especially when Marie is looking directly at her, which could be a sign of intimidation or anxiety.

    The traumatizing part of this event wasn’t just Marie angrily demanding to know where Past Eden was though, as is revealed when Present Eden relays the rest of what happened in her bedroom with her knees pulled up to her chest:

"Present Eden: She ruined the whole holiday. Just stood there, screaming, for what seemed like forever. At me, at Catherine, at the Beadnells, oh, it was horrible. That was my last Christmas there. Aunt Marie never left me alone for a second after that. 

Ghost of Christmas Past, placing a hand on Present Eden’s: I'm so sorry, Eden. 

Present Eden, shrugging off the Ghost of Christmas Past’s hand and getting up from the bed to fluff her hair: Don't be. Aunt Marie was right! I wasted time on those silly Christmas pageants for the Beadnells. After that, I concentrated on myself. And you know what happened? I made my Covent Garden debut at thirteen. Thirteen."

    According to Present Eden, Marie screamed at not just Past Eden, but everyone present. Not only is it already traumatizing for Past Eden to be yelled at by an adult figure she’s already shown signs of being scared of already, but it would also be mortally humiliating because she’d likely think the Beadnells are being yelled at because of her. As if Marie hadn’t already heaped enough undeserved blame onto Past Eden, intentionally or not.

    This event also marked a turn for the worse in Past Eden’s life. If Marie wasn’t controlling enough before by depriving Past Eden of social contact in favor of having her rehearse, she apparently became worse by “not leaving (Eden) alone for a second after that”. That, coupled with that being Eden’s last Christmas at the Beadnell’s, likely means that Eden was completely socially isolated for the rest of her upbringing, except perhaps in special Marie-approved and supervised interactions.

    As if this wasn’t all bad enough, Present Eden also reveals two key pieces of information through mentioning her Covent Garden debut at thirteen years old. It confirms that Past Eden in the flashback was at the very least younger than thirteen, as Present Eden speaks about the debut as if it happened after Marie forced her away from the Beadnells, and that Eden was a child star. The abuse has been happening at the very least since Eden was younger than thirteen and she was a child star, which she does not have the proper support system to manage the stress that would come with that. And even Present Eden herself doesn’t seem too happy about it either for a split second.

While the peek into Eden’s childhood is brief, dissecting it reveals that it is far more insidious than it appeared to be upon first glance. Marie’s methods of molding Eden into what she wants is terrifying as she’s willing to sacrifice Eden’s happiness and agency as a person in order to further that end. And the worst part is that she succeeds. The Eden at the beginning of the movie is the result of years of being subjected to Marie’s abuse, someone who was never allowed to grow into her own person and probably doesn’t even know how to express herself properly beyond the toxic methods that Marie taught her. But the extent of Marie’s damage to Eden’s life will have to wait until another post, since that’s another deep hole I want to dive into but for the sake of staying on topic we’re leaving that for later. Thanks for reading!

Loose ends: 

- The hell was Eden eating in the flashback? It looked like burned potatoes and toast. I remember being baffled by this even as a kid, because I was confused that I was supposed to see that as food. The implication seems to be that Eden didn't have good food and nutrition growing up, which @/barbie-movie-reviews pointed out in their review of this movie could be why she was so passionate about her crumpets. I plan to expand on that later for another post, but Marie apparently can’t be bothered to get decent food for Eden.

- Aunt Marie's handmirror and her looking at herself in it is likely a visual shorthand for her being a selfish person like how she wants Eden to be, especially since she is supposed to be the Jacob Marley of the story and the mirrors are her “chains”. Though now I get more of the impression of "narcissistic tendencies", which are apparently common in emotionally abusive parents.

- Aunt Marie tells Eden that after dinner they rehearse, implying Eden just ate dinner, and then later orders her to practice her scales until dinner is ready? It's either an inconsistency or awkward wording.