#all this time I was self conscious about my writing then ppl send me things like this

[thatbigbisexual29]

HELL YEAH people like you!!! Your shit is the bomb and you just seem like a real chill fellow to be around. Keep being great mate :]

Y’all gotta stop being a SWEET IM GONNA CRY 🥹

[thesherrinfordfacility]

the reading comprehension on this godforsaken website is genuinely insane. it's such shit ppl went after you for responding. fwiw you singlehandedly restored my faith in the GO fandom a little while back, some of the only well thought-out takes for miles (til i started clicking on the reblogs n found more). there was nothing wrong with defending yourself from people who didn't even read the meta. for something you put this much effort into, it'd be weirder not to be defensive

ive sat on the whole thing over the last dozen or so hours now, with a good mixture of upset, anger, some kind of numbness, and incredible amounts of anxiety. i posted that response out of the second; i was really angry, and i flew off the handle. whilst i don't appreciate being told by the other anon that i shouldn't be so attached/shouldn't have been so upset, they have a point, and were right to highlight (intentionally or not) at the very least that that is the root of the problem. i likened the fiasco to some secondary school bullshit, but i didn't realise - or want to acknowledge - that that applied to me too. the whole thing has reawakened ancient history that i thought i had gotten over years ago - more than a decade ago, even - and it very much turns out that that isn't the case, and was simply buried. the uncomfortable thing i also ran into is that the incident has made me re-examine myself with a little more, and definitely overdue, scrutiny - the post attacked at what i now think was my ego, and my over-confidence, and sense of entitlement. that's so uncomfortable to admit, but here we are.

i don't mind people disagreeing with me, but i still stand firm that i don't think sending an ask ridiculing someone, or adding tags that equally can be interpreted as being plain unkind, is a nice thing to do. it's shit - i felt humiliated, and self-conscious in a fandom that until this point, for all my controversial takes 😂 - had made me feel that i had a space to share them, and whilst may not be agreed with, would still be valued by nature of them belonging to a person. i have no doubt that everything on that post wasn't at all personal, but it still felt that what i had spent a lot of time, excitement, and joy writing was worthy of being laughed at, as if i were stupid for writing it (let me be clear - idc if people think the original post and the take within it is wrong, that's absolutely fair enough). it then called into question - what else have people been nice to me about, politely interacting with me about, and yet elsewhere those same people are being horrible about it?

that line of overthinking is entirely my issue, that's noone else's fault, but i do think that had these people just simply kept their opinion to a DM, or somewhere else where the original poster is unlikely/not going to see it, it might have all been avoided. people are entitled to share their opinion, i have no issues with that fact, but it can have consequences... just like the consequences of me rb'ing it once the anger had set in, and i ceased to think rationally. i am sorry that i reacted out of anger, without much - if any - rational thought; that it was bitchy as fuck, and - without the maelstrom of emotion attached to it, as it was from my perspective - it was objectively uncalled for. im embarrassed i reacted like that, and im aware that its only served to make me come across as even more ridiculous than the original post ever could 😂 but i want to settle in with what this has brought up, especially the shitty stuff that i thought i had long gotten over, and look at why i reacted the way i did - i think i was right to defend myself, but perhaps not in the way that i did.

as a separate note, and just really as a PSA to anyone waiting on me in my ask box or has sent me messages - im going to halt on posting any original posts/asks for a while (knowing me, because i can't help myself, a 'while' will probably be like a day). that's in part because im shitting bricks about posting anything in general (this ask response included), but also because - like i said before - i don't want to continue posting stuff when im now wondering how much is coming from a less-than-humble place - im worried that it's a lot more than i ever thought, which is vulnerable, but that's how it goes.

[bl4cktourmaline]

halooo~ i saw the matchup event and i’d like to give it a try! may i request a project sekai matchup? (both matchups if it’s ok!! both normal and yan) thanks a lot and i’ll be awaiting my date 😋😋

preferred gender: both works!

personality traits:

im an ambivert that’s pretty emotional.(i cry easily…) i can be quite self-conscious and sensitive at times even if i don’t realise it myself. im also a nostalgic person that keeps memories dear in my heart!! i love looking back to the past to giggle about the stupid old times. i’d say im pretty lazy myself, but if i ever decided to do something, i’d try my best to do it well. i’m kind of the mum of the group, as i have a tendency to care for others around me. i show my childish side with those i trust however. i’m the type to live in the moment and it’s my motive to try not to leave any regrets.

hobbies:

im on my phone quite a lot ,, i like gaming and reading manhwas. i also write a diary and play the ukulele! idk i’m trying to find more hobbies but school doesn’t seem to allow me to.. (there’s. so much school work….)

love langauge:

quality time for both giving and receiving!! i think time is crucial in any relationship. i also give words of affirmation and i think physical touch is cute!

(not so) fun facts:

- i’m deathly terrified of insects. of any kind. the only one kind that i’m brave enough to kill are ants

- i love rollar coasters but hate haunted houses. i live for the excitement of rollar coasters but i hate being jumpscared..

- i love doing personality tests.. i kept sending them to my friends i think they’re done with me /joke

- i’m a realist but i’m also capable of making up tons of scenarios in my heart for my friends

- i love analysing ppl close to me

things u look for in a person:

i think i tend to get along with tons of ppl but id love someone that’s responsible! i want someone that will love me for who i am and accept my flaws. i wish that we can both rely on each other. i’d also like someone who’s treats me specially compared with the outer world ..?!?

things u don’t look for in a person:

irresponsible people. those who always wishes to be in control of a particular solution one-sidely. and people who takes things for granted idk😞

i’m sorry this is so long!! thank u for listening to my ramble fr and getting to know me 😭😭 my brain suddenly malfunctioned and i forgot how to speak proper english … but dear mods, i hope u both have a nice day and wishing u the best~ rmb to take care of urself!!

"૮₍ •⤙•˶|💌 ᴮ���ᵉᵖ..! ᵒⁿᵉ ᵐᵉˢˢᵃᵍᵉˎˊ˗

✉! .•°⟡˚ ༘ ʸᵒᵘ ʳᵉᶜᵉⁱᵛᵉᵈ ᵃ ᵐᵉˢˢᵃᵍᵉ ᶠʳᵒᵐ ʸᵘᵉ !

⌨️ᶻᶻᶻ...yue is typing... ♡

↻ᴹᵉˢˢᵃᵍᵉ ˡᵒᵃᵈᵉᵈ !

꒰ʜɪɪ ʜɪɪ, ʀᴇᴀᴅʏ ꜰᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴀᴛᴇ?꒱ 🎐~*

❛❛,,𝐎ᵖᵉⁿ ᵗʰᵉ ᵐᵃⁱˡ ᵗᵒ ˢᵉᵉ ʷʰᵒ ⁱˢ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᶠᵃᵗᵉᵈ ᵗᵒ ᵇᵉ!,,❜❜

▶• ılıılılılılıılılılılı. 0 ⁿᵒʷ ᵖˡᵃʸⁱⁿᵍ... Project Sekai!

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡ɴᴏʀᴍᴀʟ ᴍᴀᴛᴄʜᴜᴘ♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᵖᵃⁱʳ ⁱˢ... Aoyagi Toya!♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Toya adore your caring and hard working nature but he also thinks it's cute that you seem to have a childish side like he just wants to cuddle with you all day if he could!

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Game Night is one of your night dates with him, being competitive in a fighting or racing game while leaning on each other with a blanket wrap around you two? Definitely one of the best sweet moments!

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ He saw that you write a diary for personal use, he thought it's would be great if you two share a diary and leaving comments for each other to read later on

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ He like reading like a lot, so if you would recommend some good manhwa to him, he would definitely try them out since it's your hobby, it's definitely mean it's an interesting read if it's coming from you!

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡ʏᴀɴᴅᴇʀᴇ ᴍᴀᴛᴄʜᴜᴘ♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᵖᵃⁱʳ ⁱˢ...Otori Emu!♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Emu is always quick to notice your moods, her first idea was trying multiple methods of cheering you up because when you're smiling is the moment your beauty shine the most !

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Amusement park dates are a must!! It's practically her second home and the fact you like roller coasters? Even better! She always wants to drag you to many thrilling rides because it's so much fun when she hang out with you the most

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Emu love taking pictures with you every single moment you two are together, she wants to cherish those sweet little memories with you so the two of you can look back on those memories with so much fondness !

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ You can play an ukulele ?? She freak out because she didn't know you were good at playing the instrument, Emu would definitely keep bothering you to teach her how to play so she get more quality time with you, it's a win win for her!

✿ — ↠ NOTE : It's okay xD I don't mind rambling at all ! I personally like rambling since it's help me with your matchup results hehe~ I hope you like the results <33

[saetoru]

hey tee, can i ask something? so ik how frustrating it can be when anons send hate, but what’s it like when other blogs do it?? how do you handle it?? & i dont mean when they’re like directly talking to you, but subtweeting in a way…am i explaining this well????? idk but something that i hate is when people will just ask & ask & ask you to write as if you’re a machine & not a human being.

there’s a particular account that never writes (which is completely fine), and they always ask everyone to be patient & etc. but they constantly talk abt how “no one writes like they used to” or just complain abt other people’s writing in general & it’s just so sad to see bc as a creator on this app, they should immediately understand tht people are not fucking machines & struggle with writer’s block & stuff like that. she just gives off big hypocritical vibes. idk if you’re mutuals w/ them or not (hopefully not).

her writing is fine, but as a person… idk. im not gonna say who it is, but they’re pretty known on tumblr. it really bugs me when she says stuff like that and then her followers just back her up like nothing’s wrong. generally speaking, i believe u can say whatever tf u want on your own blog, but some of the stuff she says just really upsets me, especially since im starting to write on tumblr. i have blocked her, but after seeing some the things she’s said, plus the amount of people that agree with her is making me real self conscious abt my work.

so yea, how do u feel when stuff like that happens to you?? im so sry for the long ask, but hopefully you can take the time to respond. it would mean a lot! ❤️

hi bestie !! i will answer under the cut:

i just block lmao. like deadass half of a lot writers on here ??? chances are i’ve blocked them and tbh that might sound bad but if i see a discourse or a “hot take” that i fully disagree with, or rubs me wrong, i block. and that’s bc i think all of us as writers, even if it’s the smallest part of our brains, compare ourselves to other writers. so i block writers that give me bad vibes bc i don’t wanna subconsciously start comparing myself to them in a manner that makes me question myself like you said. if a writer thinks majority of fanfic mostly sucks now, well i guess they’re not reading my sucky content bc they are b l o c k e d !!!

i actually have like two or three very strongly voiced ppl blocked that always say “fanfic isn’t what it used to be” or “all fanfic is the same now” and i think personally it’s a really entitled and annoying thing to say. if someone came into a writer’s inbox and said those exact things on anon, everyone would jump to attack that anon and say “it’s free content be grateful.” i don’t think someone being a writer gives them the right to dictate such strong opinions openly about other peoples fanfic writing styles/methods/choices. even if you provide content, you’re still consuming free content just as everyone else. it’s one thing to politely offer advice as one writer to another with good intentions, but that’s very clearly seen in your tone and how you word the message. if you think fanfic isnt what it used to be, then write what you want to see ??? it’s simple.

so yeah either way i would block that individual—maybe i already have them blocked too who knows LMAO i hope i do. but i wouldn’t let it get to you because tbh in my experience ppl who have the most to say about other writers have the emptiest masterlists 💀 the rest of us are too busy focusing on our writing to care about what other people are posting and whatnot. block them, block their friends that agree, block anyone else that agrees with them. LMAO i’m not saying this to act like “ur always right and everyone else is always wrong” but tbh if u just block all the ppl ur disagree with, then at one point ur dash will just be peaceful

take it from me !! the girlie that is blocked by like 75% of this app !! just remove people you don’t wanna see. filter their urls, unfollow ppl they heavily interact with, curate ur own experience without being a bitch. rant to ur friends, get it off ur chest privately but like don’t subpost them in a rly obvious manner and start more drama bc it’s just always gonna be a mess that way.

and tbh there’s a lot of things that ppl in a fandom community can and should come and discuss in a civil manner without peoples feelings getting hurt like meta and popularly flawed characterization patterns, but i think bitching about the “quality” of fanfic is a rly nasty thing to openly complain about bc it’s just unwarranted and discouraging. a lot of people are on here for fun, not to write new york times best selling novels, so just let them have their fun :/

[save-the-spiral]

PLS PLS LIST THE SWAPS!! TELL ME ABOUT THE SIBLINGS AND ALSO HIFUMI BECAUSE I LOVE HIM (IF YOU WANT!) I will also send more questions in the morning too, excited to see what you’ve been working on!!

OK OK OK !!!!! AHH! So, before assigning talents, I swapped the pools, so for the first game, I use the talents from the second game, and vis versa! For some i listed gender, sexuality, or neurodivergencies, though this isn’t all of them, and I haven’t developed them all to the same level!

This is SO long. I didn’t even bother mentioning things like my plans for the killing games. (I have DR1 planned out in full, but only parts of DR2 and the v3 anime)

THANK YOU FOR THE ASK MY HEART SKIPPED A BEAT IN HAPPINESS WHEN I SAW I HAD NEW ASK NOTIFS!!

LIST:

Trigger Happy Havoc (first game)

Kyoko Kirigiri- Ultimate Luckster- Mastermind (: Sometimes lesbians can be evil okay! was trained as a detective like everyone in her family and didn’t get the ultimate :) she’s definitely not mad about that :) her luck cycle depends on how far she plans things ahead. her good luck is when she’s spontaneous! She hates when ‘normal’ people are accepted by ultimates.

Makoto Naegi- Photographer (Mostly wildlife and nature photography, with Sayaka helping him for some animal photography (: trans and bi <3 One of sayaka’s birds nests in his hair like all the time)

Kiyotaka Ishimaru- Ultimate Swordsman (AUTISTIC ICON, has trained in kendo since he was a kid, then was essentially given away to the Fujisaki clan by his very stressed dad. Semiverbal, rarely speaks.)

Chihiro Fujisaki- Ultimate Yakuza (Taka is her bodyguard! His family is in debt to hers, the Fujisaki clan is the most powerful in Japan. trans icon, of course, dates Sayaka! Very direct, though she’s far more delicate and polite when talking to taka, her best friend)

Sakura Oogami- Ultimate Nurse (Works as an EMT- her clan still is in martial arts, so she’s still very buff, she assists in injuries at the family dojo. Autistic Icon)

Asahina Aoi- Ultimate Gamer (ULTIMATE ADHD. streams and has a ton of fun, will ramble while breaking records, demigirl who loves her girlfriend sakura :)

Mukuro Ikusaba- Ultimate Chef (Works best with ‘cheap’ food, and making them taste good. a byproduct of growing up on the streets with junko, and junko being bored of the same old food they dug out of the trash. now works closely with junko for her teams’ nutritional needs! autistic and sapphic.)

Junko Enoshima- Ultimate Team Manager (there are SO many sports she can never get bored, and the professional scene is always changing! prefers coaching womens’ teams, because being an ultimate brings them more publicity and usually higher pay :)

Mondo Oowada- Ultimate Prince (OH MY BOY. trans adhd icon. now the crown prince of Novoselic, with a reagent in his place until he comes of age. His service dog Chuck is a maltese and an absolute sweetheart. Chihiro takes him under her wing to teach leadership. also dates taka later OF COURSE, though they’re poly and I may add more ppl to their relationship later.)

Celestia Ludenburg- Ultimate Musician (specializes in violin, most strings, though she can play any instrument. grew up poor, dedicated herself to an instrument and persona to cope)

Byakuya Togami- Ultimate Musician (Yep. two musicians. two catty trans gay icons about to throw down. they HATE each other and grew up as rivals. specialize in classical, they literally tore a professional orchestra full of grown adults apart trying to make them side with who was the best musician. they’re so good that they’re matched, and Hope’s Peak accepts them as one student and combined ultimate. they room together. they fight. Literally if one of them gets expelled, the other does too, so they’re STUCK. eventually they become literally inseparable and insufferable together like the WORST siblings. I love them.)

Sayaka Maizono- Breeder (animal handler) (Specializes in birds!!!!!! has songbirds on her shoulders all the time. will give unsettling animal facts without realizing they’re unsettling. sends her songbirds to serenade chihiro when they start dating <3)

Yasuhiro Hagakure- Gymnast (you see this tall goof who acts like an older brother to everyone and wonder HOW he’s a gymnast. he’s completely different in competitions, though still lighthearted. becomes a big brother figure to mukuro and junko especially <3 also trans bc i say so.)

Leon Kuwata- Traditional Dancer (he just. kinda hates it. it takes SO much work and effort but he takes to it naturally. his cousin kanon is NOT like in canon, instead she’s helpful. he’d literally rather be doing anything else. doesn’t know how to do anything like... basic either. can’t cook. cant do his own laundry. everything was dedicated to traditional japanese dancing before he attended HPA.)

Toko Fukawa- Engineer (writes schematics and is very good at it. gets VERY upset when her plans go wrong. her notes are orderly and perfect. host for their system!)

Syo- Mechanic (a factive of genocider syo, NOT an actual killer. she’s a protector mainly, and also is more adept at hands on skills when it comes to fixing things, her hands are less shaky. Her notes are a disaster and she does it to spite Toko.)

Hifumi Yamada- (???) (reserve course) Protagonist! My BOY. HIFUMI IS GOOD OKAY. He’s autistic and loves anime and gaming! he’s not particularly ultimate-leveled at them, or anything else! Attending Hope’s Peak as a reserve course student! At one point he joins the student council as a reserve course representative even if he’s only a freshman :) He’s also a moderator in Hina’s livestream chat, under the username of JusticeHammer, fastest ban hammer this side of the internet. He's internet friends with hina and sakura, and doesn’t realize Oh We Go To the same SCHOOL until he bumps into them. and realizes hina doesnt know what he looks like. but sakura does. its hilarious. he’s aroace, and during the year they’re locked in HPA, is in a queer platonic partnership with Hina and Sakura, while they’re dating each other. it’s great.)

Goodbye Despair! (second game)

Peko Pekoyama- Lucky student (ohohoh. her luck relies on her conviction. if she has doubts her bad luck strikes HARD. trans!, was taken in by Fuyuhiko’s family when she was a baby, grew up as just another kid in the family. They all expected Fuyu to go off to HPA on his own and then BOOM acceptance letter)

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu- Programmer (He. gets so angry while coding. He has an array of rubber ducks to talk to and work through his coding issues with. trans of course. Very protective of Peko when people say she doesn’t have a ‘real’ ultimate. ADHD and Autistic)

Sonia Nevermind- Writer (Literary Girl) (Her family immigrated to Japan when she was young! She writes a lot of serial killer novels, murder mysteries and horror and all that! Trans and bi :)

Gundham Tanaka- Detective (YEAH my guy is a detective. still talks Like That. Trans and bi and he and Sonia were kinda-dating (t4t autistic power couple in the making) when things started happening. He spends some time with his cool older sister who he looks up to a LOT. He and Sonia talk through things together a lot, they both have those red string walls, one for murder cases, another for a fictional plot lmao.)

Mahiru Koizumi- Moral Compass (my GIRL. autistic. Her morals rely a lot on people taking responsibility and being reliable, and she ends up having to work through some biases she didn’t realize she had when she arrived at HPA. Is still protective of Hiyoko, though that protectiveness is spread a bit thinner to extend to the rest of the class.)

Hiyoko Saionji- Clairvoyant!!! (HI YES I COULD TALK ABOUT HER FOR DAYS. Has actual visions in dreams and when she suddenly faints, but doesn’t really realize they’re uhh Real Visions for a WHILE. uses her status as an ultimate clairvoyant to trick and bully kids when in school for a LONG time, though her homelife wasn’t great with her grandmother trying to find ways to make her visions more consistent. SHES ALSO 12 WHEN SHE JOINS THE 77TH CLASS. she’s just so advanced in academics and her ultimate is so interesting hope’s peak cant HELP but scout her early. she has SO many issues guys no one appreciates hiyoko enough, autistic gifted kid hiyoko my beloved.)

Akane Owari- Gambler (started gambling to help out her family and Got Good at it. is very very conscious of money and food like all the time. Runs the hope’s peak betting pools once she arrives. these ultimates bet on a lot of things. she ALWAYS wins. until she doesnt!!!)

Mikan Tsumiki- Martial Artist (ohhhh Mikan. Still anxious and clumsy (though not like THAT in canon) and literally no one looks at her and thinks Oh The ULTIMATE martial artist?? it isn’t until you see her in the ring that you understand. She started learning self defense as a kid because her (bad) parents essentially said she had to rely on and protect herself and no one else would help.)

Kazuichi Souda- Pop Idol (OH TRANS ICON? he’s nervous and paranoid about Everything still, though now it’s like. oh the entire world is always watching my every move this is Okay (: has the brightest neon album eras. he literally keeps up a like. weird chad persona when interacting with people because he’s masking how hard he’s constantly just internally screaming.)

Nagito Komaeda- Soldier (AHAHAH my mans got issues problems disorder he’s a messssss, this trans guy, this absolute gay. this boy leveled a city of thousands of people with his own hands and some bombs. Still has medical issues, but most of his like. treatments and medicine is hold hostage as long as he stays in line. believes the ends justify the means and anyone who dies to him is obviously weak, because look at him! he’s weak, but that doesn’t matter because he doesn’t have to be the strongest, he just has to be stronger than the weakest scum.)

Chiaki Nanami- Heir (OOF. Agender, uses any pronouns. Doesn’t really. enjoy being the heir. grew up with Byakuya in the same circles. she treats the economy and stock market and stuff like games. enjoys gaming but isn’t good at them. collects so many things. has halls full of collections. Her parents stopped controlling her once she was able to prove she had more money than them and could literally bankrupt them if she wanted.)

Hajime Hinata- Baseball Star (Chiaki’s best friend, his family was upper middle class until he hit it BIG as a baseball star. wants to do BIG things and wants to attend hope’s peak more than anything!! Doesn’t really think of baseball as his THING, just a means to an end! trans :)

Teruteru Hanamura- Biker Gang Leader (started with shaking down some jerks who didn’t pay their food and drink tabs at his mama’s restaurant. now he RUNS their tiny town. His siblings are essentially gang mascots, he works hard to keep them out of trouble (while bringing them to like. meetings where he ends up beating a dude almost to death. its fine). most of what he does it to get more money to keep the restaurant afloat and care for his mama with her health conditions.)

Nekomaru Nidai- Fashionista (the drama. the CHAOS. most people are like ohhh we can never understand this artistic genius when he’s literally just. vibing and has ADHD and a love for coffee. Works a lot on accessible clothing lines for disabled people! Also he and Kazuichi work together sometimes, Nekomaru is good at calming Kaz down and seeing like, the root of whatever problem and making it better. ALSO A TRANS ICON and just flaunts it.)

Imposter- In the hope’s peak days they are impersonating Ryota Mitarai, as a part of the 77th class. In the Killing Game they impersonate Mondo Oowada as the Ultimate Prince. They’re doin’ their best.

Ibuki Mioda- (???) (Izuru Kamakura) Protagonist! Gundham Tanaka’s older sister (though they’re in the same school year). Nonbinary and using just. an array of pronouns alongside she/her, and jokingly fights with gundham for neopronouns like MOM said it’s MY TURN on the rawrself pronouns. She attends the reserve course to stay at her brother’s side. She dresses loudly and acts even louder because !!! she wants to stand out!! in the middle of this drab reserve course hell!!  but when things go down, she wants to be someone, to be worthy of being her amazing brother’s big sister. so she accepts some offers.

NON-KILLING GAME:

Ryota Mitarai- Ultimate Analyst (stays in his room. He’s terrified of the outside world but fascinated by it. watches hope’s peak academy through security feeds, picking up on little details. he just wants to understand things but never looks at the big picture.)

Chisa Yukizome- Ultimate Boxer (Homeroom teacher!! She’s working really hard and believes in everyone! Some are intimidated by talent, but she’s never hurt anyone outside of the ring! Dating Kyosuke)

Juzo Sakakura- Ultimate Student Council President (Has anger issues, though his work at reigning them in assisted in becoming an Ultimate. Was responsible for security and the Hope’s Peak student council. Dating Kyosuke)

Kyosuke Munakata- Ultimate Housekeeper (Meticulous, works himself to the BONE even if he’s good enough to not have to do that. Is working on establishing another Hope’s Peak! Dating Chisa and Jozu!!!)

Seiko Kimura- Ultimate Blacksmith (GIVE MY GIRL KNIVES!! She’s an anxious gal, always wearing a facemask that filters the air in her forge because she has some respiratory problems. she prefers making more decorative pieces like an artist, but sometimes can create utilitarian pieces or tools to fit specific needs. Still a doormat)

Ruruka Ando- Ultimate Pharmacist (She constantly asks Seiko for new tools for her developments in medicine, saying its all for the advancement of humanity, so Seiko denying any request is SELFISH, though she never thinks to make anything for seiko’s health issues. Dating Izayoi. Specializes in medicine for mental health. Not Doing Great :)

Sonosuke Izayoi- Ultimate Confectioner (He loves sweets. LOVES them. Creates things that look plain, ordinary. but taste so GOOD you CRY and maybe ascend for a little bit. sometimes Ando makes cool new drugs to put in the sweets, who knows! It’s a mystery! He always has like. a huge refrigerated case of fresh cakes, and constantly has a lollipop in his own specialty recipe in his mouth.)

[destinyc1020]

Maybe it's just me but it seems like the only thing people care about when it comes to Uncharted is how 'hot' and 'sexy' Tom is going to look and it feels a little disrespectful, he said himself that whilst filming he cared too much about looking 'cool' and 'buff' and he didn't like it. Just in general lately I have noticed that the fans have been oversexualizing like every bit of content we get of him, there is a line. I'm just saying we should think about how uncomfortable it could make Tom to read a lot of the sexual comments and majority comments about his looks and body (he's a human being not just flesh and bone) especially as most of his fans are minors.

Ummmm....

Anon if you think that some fans aren't gonna find Tom "hot" and/or "sexy" then you're sadly mistaken lol. 🤣

As long as fans STAY IN THEIR LANE and aren't out here sending him inappropriate dm's, or groping him or saying lewd things to him when they meet him in person, then I don't really see a problem? 🤷🏾‍♀️

People are going to find him attractive. Ppl find a ton of celebrities "hot", "cute", "sexy", "gorgeous", "beautiful", etc. And I don't think any fans (at least the ones that have come to my inbox) are saying that Tom is ONLY hot and that's the only thing he has going for him. No way!

How many times have we talked about Tom's kindness in here, or his acting talent, or how funny, sweet, and charming he is? Like we know he's a person. And nobody is putting his looks over those OTHER qualities, cuz I can tell you right now, if he were a JERK, I wouldn't care HOW attractive he was, he would NOT be appealing to me in the least. 😤

If fans find Tom hot or sexy in Uncharted, is that really a crime?? 🥴 We're not blind. Some fans write actual y/n smut about him online, but somehow we're committing a crime for thinking/finding him attractive or voicing it out loud? 🤔 Look, I'm not here to judge anyone for what they choose to write about (OR read), but I just find it funny that finding him attractive is looked down upon, when there are other fans out here who are acting like groupies and stalking him all over the place to try to meet him in person, or fans who bully and say mean things about him repeatedly online, or those who write waaaay more revealing things on the internet about him than anyone on my blog has ever written. Maybe you just meant the fandom just in general, so maybe I'm mistaken with what you were trying to say. You all know I hardly go on Twitter, so if you're seeing stuff on Twitter but all means, plz ss it and send it to me so that I can get the context of what you're talking about. Otherwise, I'm pretty much in the dark. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Re: Uncharted....

When Tom was speaking about him feeling weird about filming Uncharted, to me that was more so due to the fact that he had to be so focused on landing his marks a certain way, looking a certain way, and trying to appear a certain way onscreen, and he's not used to that. This is especially jarring when he had been in a mindset with Cherry where his looks didn't matter at all. He's never had to do a role where he looked "hot" before, so of course it feels weird. It would prob feel weird for anyone tbh. I get the feeling he felt more self-conscious, like maybe a little bit of imposter syndrome. But I never got the impression that he meant that he hates it if fans find him attractive.

BTW, I've been saying that the movie looks like it's going to be a really cool fun action flick, and I'm also looking fwd to seeing Tati in the movie as well. 😊 Just putting that out there.

Anyway....

With that said, I will take your opinion to heart since you brought up an interesting topic. In fact, I think I'll create a POLL about it! Because by all means, I would hate to think that I'm offending some who are reading my blog.

So, look out for a poll soon! 😉

[rebelwith0utacause]

thanks for tagging me @pxrxmoore ^^ This looks cool!

feel free to answer all of them or just some of them or just ignore this all together, whatever you’re comfortable with, and then tag however many people you want!

1. what was your first encounter with fanfiction? 

I think the first time I ever came across fanfiction had to be either with Paramore + other VWT bands (ATL, BVB, The Maine) on Buzznet or with Avenged Sevenfold on Wattpad. I’m leaning towards the latter because I was reading stuff on Wattpad since 2007-8 and I listened to A7X more (plus I stopped reading/listening to new A7X stuff when Jimmy died in 2009/2010 which is also around the time I became active on Buzznet). Idk, it’s been so long and that entire era of my life is extremely blurry.

2. your favourite creation of your own of all time if you create stuff (feel free to link it)?

I once made a 10 ft macrame half hitch spiral braid out of wool. Basically just braided and braided until I no longer had wool (I might have added a bit more). I think I wore it 2-3 times as a belt, but it didn’t matter. It was something cool I could do and no one knew about it.

3. what vibe are you going for with your home decor (or what vibe do you wanna go for one day, if you don’t have your own place atm)? 

Don’t have my own place atm, but def something IKEA-ish, mainly whites and/or that greyish kinda light wood. I just like stuff that look pure and clean and would let my plants be the highlight. I’m thinking green minimal with lots of DIY furniture and white linens. 

4. first fandom you ever joined? what was it like? on what platform did it happen? 

Tbh, I feel like nothing compares to my 5sos phase so I’m gonna say 5sos. I’ve definitely been in others too (A7X, ATL, Paramore, Marvel/Tom Hiddleston, James McAvoy) but I’ve never been so immersed. Same goes for my metal bands, probably because most of them were either dead or disbanded by the time I started listening to them actively.

5. what are your sun, moon and rising signs, and do you think they make sense in relation to how you know yourself? 

I’m a Gemini-Cancer cusp sun, Pisces moon and Taurus ascendant and tbh I didn’t believe in this shit very much. But the more I started reading up, the more it clicked and made sense. I feel like I’m little bits of all, the good, the bad and the ugly but there are also sides of me that you see, sides I allow you to see and sides I keep hidden very deep inside my psyche that even I hardly see them and it just makes fkn sense.

6. if you write and/or read fiction (original or fanfiction), do the tropes/plots/character types you typically seek out to read and/or write about reflect something about you as a being or how you see the world?

I don’t necessarily think they do, but they might. I’m pretty sure I have a “nurse” syndrome irl so to counteract that need to help others I read fiction where others are helped (because probably deep down underneath all of that fixing I’m doing, I need someone to fix me). And by fictive fixing I mean all kinds of fixing whether it be actual wounds or psychological healing or even socialization and sex, it doesn’t matter, I’ll read it all. I’m also a very analytical person so I love doing a psych evaluation to both the characters and the writers.

7. what is the hardest obstacle you’ve had to overcome so far in life? 

There have been many and I always see the level of impact they had on me after I’ve overcome them completely and taken a few years to just dissect what happened. So I don’t know if these are the hardest but the most pivotal in my life so far have been learning how to overcome my fear of vehicles while battling depression at the same time, as well as learning how to stop feeling like I didn’t do enough to prevent someone else’s suicide.

8. what is your all time favourite song(s)? 

This is really hard because I listen to too much music tbh, but let me see: 

- Milice by Foltin, it’s a song in Macedonian about a girl called Milica and this guy is reminiscing about the beginning of their love, it’s just such a chill fusion song. 

- Youngblood by 5sos, it basically sends me into another dimension where I feel the hurt, anger and disappointment he’s feeling as well as the helplessness of knowing you’d probably never get over this person. Yeah, his voice has that much power over me.

- Face of Melinda by Opeth, this is a part of a concept album and while the backstory is pretty dark, the melody is so soft and serene and temperamental and violent at times, I just love it so fkn much.

- Nobody’s Wife by Anouk because we all have those badass bitch songs and mine happens to be this gem, followed by You Oughta Know by Alanis Morissette.

- Outlines by All Time Low, idk what’s the deal with this song but it came out during the time when I was young but felt very old and I just couldn’t find my place in the world so I replayed the shit out of it and it somehow helped me heal.

9. what do you look for in a person you wanna keep in your life, be it a friend or a romantic partner or anything in between? 

I kinda don’t look for anything in particular I just look for traits that would piss me off and say buh-bye to those people from the get go. Like... I need ppl to be politically aware and vocal, but not politically blinded, I need them to be eco-conscious and I need them to hate capitalism as much as I do. I need them to be modern thinkers but not to a point where they believe and stand for every fad coming from Western civilization. Basically someone grounded and being able to evaluate the situation without being constantly swayed by others’ opinions. Some might call it stubborn, but I really think that globalization has made us lose the good side of our ego. The part that makes us stand for something we truly believe in and not just be another sheep in the herd. 

10. this is a bit of a difficult one, but have you ever had a moment of clarity, a conversation with someone that made you go “oh!”, or anything along those lines? 

It’s happened a few times, but I’m really self-reflective so those things are to be expected of me. The last one I remember was around March last year and I was in group grief therapy and the psychiatrist was basically talking about how to deal with grief and suicide prevention and how talking helps and we talked about dreams and overall health and such and during those conversations he talked about PTSD and what helps to alleviate the symptoms and get over it and my EUREKA! moment came when I realized I’ve been healing my PTSD unknowingly on my own for the past 5 years. Basically that was such a great experience and it put so many things in perspective for me. I mean I come from a society where all things mental health are brushed under the carpet as if they don’t exist. And I’m definitely not the type of person to label shit and feel helpless because I can’t fix it. If anything, I’d def get angry and try to fix it myself because I hate being in limbo. And hearing someone voice my thoughts and fears and tell me that I’ve been doing great was just... Idk, felt like a pat on the back and a tight hug at the same time. 

tagging @karajaynetoday @krindy33 @twilightmomentswithyou @tigerteeff @myloverboyash @talkfastromance4 @notinthesameguey @ashtonlftv if you want to do this or haven’t done this before :*

[horansqueen]

AM Conversations : chapter 31

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4.5k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- if you want to be notified when this is updated, please message me or leave a comment!

- you can send me questions and theories and comments. tbh they all make me SO SO SO SOOOO HAPPY! and make me want to write more! you can also tell me if there are things you WANT to happen. you never know, i may add it :P

- thanks for being patient btw! i work a lot these days and will work even more in the next few weeks (until halloween) so i may not update as often as i’d like. :(

- note for this chapter: i hope its not too bad. im scared ppl are gonna lose interest tbh. and i know, so many dialogues but it was needed!

-please, message me, give me feedbacks, it would mean sooo much to me!

Chapter 31 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

I woke up the next day a bit disoriented. I couldn't remember when exactly I fell asleep but as soon as my eyes opened, I felt my lips curl. Niall was laying next to me and we were both facing each other. He was still asleep and I brought my hand to his cheek, making him whimper very low. Slowly, I moved closer and pressed my lips on his gently, leaving a small and soft kiss on his mouth. His eyes fluttered half-open and when he saw me, his lips curled. It made my bite my bottom lip when I realized I hadn't seen him this happy in a while. Niall was someone who was always smiling but at this exact moment, it was even more than that. Or perhaps it was the reflection of my own happiness that I could see on his face.

He didn't say anything, he just moved closer to kiss my lips again, making them curl. I brought my hand over my mouth and smiled more.

"Hi."

He chuckled and also brought his hand in front of his mouth.

"Hi." he repeated. "Morning breath?"

"Would be bad if it was the first impression you had of me in the morning."

This time, he laughed and i felt my heart melt in my chest.

"I've smelled your morning breath and been a witness of more." he pointed out with what I guessed was a smirk from the way the corner of his eyes moved up. "Those little futile things won't change my love for you."

I could feel my heart flutter at the same time than my eyes when I heard his words.

"I woke up facing you like this so many times. I've wanted to kiss you so many times. This is the first time I actually do it. I never thought I would."

He stared at me and took his hand away. He was not smirking anymore, just smiling softly at me. I never thought Niall would ever look at me this way. I wouldn't have dared to wish for it.

"Fuck morning breath." he just said moving closer to me and getting half his body on top of mine before pushing my hand gently away and kissing me. It took me a few seconds to allow him to deepen the kiss but eventually I did. I closed my eyes, enjoying the way he kissed me and the warmth of his body over mine until he groaned in my mouth. "How did you sleep?"

I tried to think of an answer but all I could focus on was the way his lips ran down on my neck and how good they felt on my skin. I wanted to lock myself with him in his room for weeks like our own private and deserted island, leaving reality behind.

His phone started ringing and he groaned, his lips stopping on my collarbone. He simply sighed and I grimaced before he got up and searched for his phone through the pockets of the pants he wore the day before. It was not his type to leave dirty clothes on the floor but it seemed like both of us were distracting the other and I couldn't hide that I liked it.

"Hello?" he quickly answered without checking the caller ID... and with the way his face changed, I believed he shouldn't have had. "Oh hi."

I sat in bed and tilted my head, feeling suddenly a bit stressed, wondering who was on the phone but also annoyed, because whoever it was, they were clearly disturbing our alone time like some sort of ship running aground on the beach of my private island. I pushed on the covers and turned to face him, crossing ,my legs as I sat on the end of the bed.

"No, sorry, I'm busy tonight." Niall continued, turning to look at me before sending me a small smile. "I'm spending time with my girlfriend."

I held my breath and Niall stopped moving. After a few seconds, he raised his eyebrows and rolled his eyes. "No, I don't mean my friend who is a girl, I really mean the girl i'm officially dating. My girlfriend." Silence. "Okay, bye."

He hung up and sighed, throwing his phone on the bed and looking through his drawers for a clean pair of boxers that he just took out.

"Who was it?" I didn't want to seem invasive but the question was burning my lips.

"Oh." he just said with a shrug, glancing at me. "It was Heidi."

The simple mention of her name made my heart jump in my throat, making me slightly nauseous. I was not sure if it was because I was jealous or scared but all I knew was that Niall had sex with her a few times and that it was probably why she was calling. I wanted to ask him to delete her number or even block it but I knew I couldn't. I was trying not to be that kind of girlfriend, the type who gets insecure about every little thing that happens, and every girl her boyfriend talks to, but it wasn't easy. Niall and I were clearly not in the same league and although I knew love is not about physical appearances, I couldn't help but be nervous about all of this.

I suddenly felt extremely self-conscious but also mad at myself for letting someone like Heidi ruin my mood.

"I need a shower." he let out, taking me out of my thoughts. "Wanna come with?"

My mind suddenly went blank and my lips parted slightly as I stared at him. Did I want to see Niall naked and wet in the shower? Fuck yes. Did I want to stand in front of him in my birthday suit? Hell no.

"You reek too, by the way." he added with a smirk, taking his shirt off and throwing it in the laundry basket before turning back to me again and raising his eyebrows.

"Uhm."

I couldn't talk and I couldn't move. I could feel my heart beat all over my body, not really knowing what to answer. He knelt in front of me with a worried expression and placed his hands on my thighs. I could feel how warm they were, even through the fabric of his sweatpants that I was wearing, and it made me swallow hard. I was so scared to do or say something that would make me lose him that I could barely think straight. I had to do something about it before it ruined the relationship I had with him. As lovers, but also as best friends.

"Tempting, but no, i'll just go after you."

I tried to look normal and sent him a smile but he frowned a bit before nodding and getting up again. He bent down to kiss my lips and it sent a rush to my brain. I already regretted saying no but I knew i'd regret a 'yes" even more when i'd be naked in front of him.

I realized I was holding my breath when I sighed as soon as I heard the shower start and I closed my eyes, feeling suddenly ridiculous. Niall was now my boyfriend, and he said he loved me... he wouldn't change his mind because of what I look like naked, would he?

I sighed loud and lied back down in bed, grabbing my phone and crossing my ankles together. I couldn't help it and searched Niall's name on google only to find recent articles about him. There were pictures of us kissing at the bar and although it was from afar and not very clear, I felt extremely ugly. 'It's official! Niall Horan finally dating lifelong friend!'

My heart jumped in my chest when I realized the article started with 'After years of friendship, it is without a surprise that Niall Horan is finally seen kissing his childhood friend...' My eyes roamed on the sentence twice, three times... ten. 'Without a surprise'?

I scrolled down to the comments section and started nibbling on my bottom lip. I knew that whatever I would read would end uip hurting me but it was stronger than me. I was not the type to really care about what people thought of me but despite what anyone may tell you, reading mean things about yourself sucks and hurts.

'Can't believe she dated both Harry and Niall! Talk about a dream life! 😍'

'I have no idea how that ugly girl got one of them let alone both. 🤔 It makes no sense'

'They are so adorable!!!!!'

'He fucking deserves better have you seen her? 🤮'

'He lost a bet 😂😂😂'

'OTP OTP OTP 🥰'

I shut my eyes tight again and threw my phone on the bed before groaning low. All I could see behind my eyelids was a parade of emojis and I did the best I could to hold my tears in. I knew Niall was out of my league but some people could be so cruel when hiding behind a computer screen. The shower stopped and when Niall came back in the room, he was followed by a cloud of steam. I looked at him quickly from head to toes, enjoying the view as he walked up to me with only a towel around his waist.

"My turn!" I just said, jumping out of bed. He stopped me as I walked by and pulled me closer, making me chuckle low.

"You're all wet!" I complained jokingly, making him laugh.

"Then just take your clothes off."

His fingers reached for the top of my shirt and he pulled gently on the collar to move it down as his eyes dropped in. I felt my heart jump in my chest and shook my head, taking a step back and making him groan low.

"Pervert!" I added with a chuckle, walking to the bathroom.

I turned around and before closing the door, I stuck my tongue out at him, making him laugh again but I still locked behind myself. I knew my fear and my hatred for my own body was stopping me from living some great things with Niall but I just didn't feel ready to show him all of me. I just wanted him to think I was beautiful. I wanted to turn him on, I wanted him to want me the way I wanted him.

I brushed my teeth first and quickly got undressed and started the waterI stayed a bit longer than I should have in the shower, letting the warm water fall on me and relaxing me as the memories of the night before played over and over in my mind. It was still incredible and unbelievable to me that Niall had finally realized he had feelings for me too but it was my reality now and It felt like I would never get down from my cloud.

I got out of the shower, drying my hair the best I could with a towel before wrapping it around my body and remembering that I left my clothes in the room. I raised my nose up and inhaled deeply before going back. I frowned when I saw him laying in bed in only a pair of boxers and my phone in hands. He looked at me and sighed, turning the phone my way to show me the article I had been reading while he was in the shower.

"I'm sorry I checked your phone it's just..." he sighed again and shook his head. "You shouldn't read shit like that. You know those mean comments aren't true, right?"

I held my towel to make sure it wouldn't fall and sent him a sad smile, walking to the bed. He sat on it and I shrugged as he looked up, wrapping his arms around me.

"Liv, please, listen to me." he let out in a low but worried tone. "I feel so lucky to be with you. You are beautiful and I love you." he paused but he kept staring at me. "Olivia, I love you."

"It's just..." I closed my eyes and sighed, feeling him hold me tighter against him. "I don't know."

"Talk to me, okay?"

I nibbled on my bottom lip and finally just nodded. He let go of me and lied back down in bed, leaving space for me. I lied down next to him, leaning my head on his shoulder as he wrapped his arm around me. I felt secure suddenly and the fact that we weren't looking at each other anymore made it slightly easier.

"You've never seen me naked." I just pointed out.

"That's... correct." he seemed a bit confused. "And i'd like to change that."

My lips curled in a fond smile.

"I mean, I don't know what you're expecting but you may be disappointed." I tried to explain, feeling his arm pull me closer. "I am not shaped like Maya or Heidi or those girls you normally end up with."

Silence. All I could hear was the sound of my heart beating against my chest. He started drawing shapes on the skin of my arm with his fingertip and It made a shiver cross my body as my heart skipped a beat. It reminded me of that time at the movies...

"I only had sex with Maya a few times." he confessed, making me frown.

"Like, how many times?"

"I don't know, four?"

I knew they had dated for a while and it was surprising that they hadn't had sex more often. Clearly, she wanted him and no one could not want her. I frowned more, a bit confused by it but also wondering why exactly he was telling me that.

"Why?"

My question was not clear but I knew he'd understand.

"I couldn't." he explained, shrugging a shoulder. "I couldn't because I only wanted you."

I couldn't help but let out a chuckle. It was laughable to think someone had the chance to bang a girl like Maya but couldn't because they wanted me more.

"I guess my love for you made it impossible for me to lust after an other girl." he continued. "I don't know what you're scared of but I know I want you more than I've ever wanted anyone else. And I won't be disappointed because it'll be you. And that's all I want. You."

I let my eyes roam on his body and I couldn't deny that I wanted him, too. I had never wanted anyone the way I wanted him. Obviously, this relationship was based on more than sex but it seemed to be an issue and I understood that he wanted to solve it. I also wanted to share everything with him. We had never really talked about sex together, at least not about our personal sex life. It's not that it embarrassed me but I didn't want to hear about the girls he had sex with and what he did with them. it would have been too hard to hear because of my love for him and for that reason, I also kept my stories a secret to make sure he wouldn't tell me his. It was a precaution I took to avoid my heart being too broken and so far, it had worked.

"Remember when we were in my room and you were about to check in a drawer and I told you not to?" I started in a low voice, raising my eyebrows without looking at him. "It was not because of my underwear.. It's just that... it's the place I keep my vibrators."

His fingers stopped moving on my shoulder and I held my breath, a small smile playing on my lips. I hadn't expected to admit that to him and obviously, he hadn't expected to hear it either.

"Plural?"

"Yes."

We remained in silence for a while and he finally chuckled.

"That's so hot." he admitted, laughing a bit. "There's so many things I don't know about you when it comes to sex, Liv, and I'd love to talk about it with you."

My traits softened and I looked up at him, moving slightly to get my head on the pillow, my face turned his way. Talking about my body embarrassed me but talking about sex in general didn't and I was totally fine with that discussion.

"Okay, I go first!" I let out with a smirk. "Who's your favorite pornstar? And if you say Jenna Jameson I'm gonna be very disappointed in you."

He sent me an insulted frown, his lips slightly parted, and it made me laugh.

"Do you know me at all?" he just asked, making me laugh. "I don't think I have a favorite, but I guess I enjoy Shyla Jennings."

I raised my nose up and groaned a bit, still looking at him.

"I can't say I'm surprised, and I also can't blame you."

"Why not surprised?" he asked, raising his eyebrows curiously.

"She's your type." I laughed, moving my chin up to look at him better.

"Oh I have a type now?" he wondered as I nodded. "Alright then, who's your fave pornstar?"

My face changed and I shrugged with a small smile.

"Gina Valentina, no second thoughts."

I saw a bunch of emotions cross his face and it made me laugh as he shook his head.

"Wait, what?"

"Oh, you wanted a man?" I asked, amused by the conversation, as I sent him a smirk. "Tyler Nixon, then."

His eyes roamed on my face and I tried to guess what he was thinking about. He was discovering things about me that I never thought he'd know but I was totally fine with it: I had nothing to hide. His lips curled into a small but fond smile and I licked my lips, my eyes never leaving his. I felt his hand take mine and he placed his palm against mine before intertwining out fingers together.

"Tell me something that you did that I would never guess."

His voice was low and the atmosphere in the room had shifted completely. We looked at each other for a few seconds and I licked my lips. He brought his hand on my waist, now completely facing me, and my heart jumped in my chest at how good he looked.

"One time I had a threesome with two other girls."

His eyes opened slightly more and his eyebrows raised up, making me laugh. He held me tighter, his fingers sinking in the fabric of the towel I still had around me, and I knew he had many questions to ask.

"You did too, didn't you?" I kept talking, raising my eyebrows too as my eyes roamed on his face.

"Maybe." he sent me a smirk. "I mean, one time when I was very drunk... it happened. But the whole thing is a bit blurry."

I don't know why but it was a relief that he didn't remember it clearly and I licked my lips. It was ridiculous of me but I couldn't help it. I knew it was impossible but I wanted to be the only girl he'd lust... the one who would make him cum the hardest, the one he could never forget.

"Was it someone you were dating?"

"I was... seeing one of them." he admitted with a groan. "And it sort of killed whatever relationship we could have had."

I nodded slowly. "It was the same for me. We broke up only a few days later."

"When was that?" he asked with a frown, probably trying to remember something he wasn't even there for.

"During your third tour."

It made me realize how little I talked about myself when it came to relationship and how little I knew about him, too. I had met all his official girlfriend, although the number could be counted on the fingers of one hand (and not the whole hand), but I wasn't aware of all the 'maybe's' and 'almost's'.

"Are you scared of what could happen after we make love?" he finally asked after a long silence. "Or what I will think? Say?"

I sighed low and looked away. Every time the discussion switched back to my insecurities, I couldn't seem to look at him in the eyes. I knew he'd be able to read me and it scared me, but I also knew that at some point, i'd have to open up to him, or I would lose him.

I shook my head slightly, looking at our intertwined fingers and It suddenly hit me. If someone was going to be there no matter what, it would be Niall, the way he's always been there.

"I hate my body, I hate the way I look naked, and there's no way you will like it. These people online, your fans, or whatever, they're all right."

The words came out of my mouth and I didn't even think. Everything I said I meant so deep that it hurt. All of this I had thought and believed for so long that expressing them out loud gave me a shiver.

"You're beautiful." he just said in a whisper.

I looked up in his eyes and I could see that he was hurt. I licked my lips and swallowed hard as he let go of my hand to slide it back on the towel around me. He kept staring at me as his hand pulled gently on the fabric and an other shiver ran all over my body, not only because of the cold air hitting suddenly my damp skin but also because of the thought of being naked in front of him. He pushed the towel on the floor and I held my breath, biting my bottom lip and sucking my stomach in. I didn't know why I cared so much, I had no idea why I was so scared after everything he showed and said, but I couldn't help it.

His fingertips ran on my waist and to my hip, ending softly on my thigh and I swallowed hard as he sent me a small smile. Slowly, he moved over me, pushing me on my back, and I moved my chin up to keep eye contact with him. I loved the feeling of his over me, like the weight on my whole body was some sort of protection against everything else, even my own complexes. He bent closer and brushed his lips against mine so gently that I felt my heart twist in my chest.

"You're beautiful and I love you." he whispered, making my lips part lightly.

I couldn't move, I was paralyzed, but I forced myself to keep my eyes open when his lips brushed on my jaw and down my neck. They traveled to my breasts and when I felt his warm tongue on one of them, I whimpered, my body jerking very slightly at the feeling.

I wanted to tell him that I loved him too, that I had never been in love with anyone else and that I never would, but the words got stuck in my throat. His mouth moved to my other nipple and I tried to push away all the questions running in my mind without much success. What did he think? Was he disappointed? Was he still lusting me? Loving me?" Or did he just feel bad for me?

His hand reached for my stomach only a few seconds before his lips and he finally looked up at me, shaking his head from left to right and pressing his fingers gently on my skin.

"Don't do that." he asked in a breath.

It took me a few seconds but I finally exhaled and relaxed my body. His lips curled in a small but find smile and he mouthed a 'thank you', making me swallow hard. I didn't know if he realized the strength it took me and what it implied for me exactly, but he seemed to be grateful and that was enough for now.

Very slowly and softly, he pressed his lips on every inch of my skin as my heart seemed to flutter. I felt dizzy suddenly by the way he showed me love but I still couldn't move. I just focused on his mouth brushing everywhere it could and leaving a burning sensation on my skin. Nothing had ever felt like that before.

His hands glided on my thighs until my knees and he spread them slowly. His lips stopped on my lower stomach and the sight of him between my legs was incredible and way more exciting than anything I had imagined before.

"Is this okay?"

I stared at him a few seconds that seemed to last an hour and he waited, his eyes never leaving mine. I licked my bottom lip but nodded slowly but he kept looking at me as he brought his lips down. I held my breath when his lips left a kiss on my slit and I gripped the sheets with one of my hands.

I was completely naked, the curtains were open and I was with Niall. It was everything I had wished for yet it was also my biggest fear. I tried not to think about it when his fingers ran between my legs and his tongue pressed on my clit, making my body jerk again. It slid down and entered me and my eyes fluttered close as I restrained a curse word from escaping my lips.

"Oh my god." I breathed out, forcing myself to open my eyes if only to look at my boyfriend and burn the image of him eating me out on my retina forever.

His tongue and lips worked between my legs, making them twitch as I got closer and closer to an orgasm but it's only when he started sucking on my clit that my back arched and my eyes finally shut tight.

"F-" I stopped myself and started shaking but he held me down on the mattress with one of his arms as an orgasm crossed my whole body.

I couldn't stop squirming as the intense feeling invaded me from head to toes and it's only when it was gone that I whimpered, feeling both embarrassed and happy at the same time. I felt him crawl up my body and when I finally opened my eyes, he was hovering over me, holding himself with his elbows and smiling down fondly at me.

I felt my heart melt at the way he was looking at me and I smiled back, feeling my heartbeats accelerate. Out of fear, and out of love. I just didn't expect his next words but it brought me near tears.

"I didn't think it was possible, but I love you even more."

[strvwberryblcnde]

👫 teddy/lana

send a 👫 and I��ll write four headcanons i have about our muses’ relationship.

ok so. lana has a habit of sharing food as one of her many love languages i think. she jst likes.... giving ppl things even if it means she’ll have less. she’d let a wolf make a meal out of her n eat every last piece if she loved him n she knew he’d feel full. bt of everyone i feel like teddy hs always been the one she does this w most.... like even when they first met in the cafeteria she gave him spoonfuls of her greek yogurt n honey. whenever she’s eating fruit (which is a lot she’s obsessed w strawberries n peaches n grapes n tangerines n oranges) she’ll ALWAYS give him half whether tht’s segmenting up pieces or dividing bites evenly between them n Without Fail it’ll always b half tht she gives him whereas she might give other ppl like.... a bite or a piece or two bt......... it’s rly specific each time tht she gives teddy half. it isn’t even intentional it’s jst like a subconscious thing bt if we were to slide on spectacles n analyse this in an english class fr it’s Meaning then. looks at u then looks away. i think this represents the way tht teddy hs always felt like another half of her. they’re one in the same. in a lot of ways they’re very similar mayb even................ TOO similar n that’s why it’s been sch a fking.... bastard of trying to work things out ever bc they very much hv the same rampant commitment issues n bad timing n fears of never being gd enough. i feel like in the past a guy she ws dating (noncommittally as lana tended to do these things) wld have even noticed this n it would have bugged him a lot just like... how close she was w teddy in general............. n he would’ve one day brought it up in the middle of a fight he’d picked jst cutting away from what they were talking abt to be like. u only ever give me one bite but u would give teddy all of it if he asked u to. tell me i’m wrong. n she’d scoff out a laugh in disbelief looking around like omg...... all this over a fruit...... what are u even sa-- n he’d cut her off n be like. literally tell me i’m wrong lana. n she wouldn’t even b able to after going quiet n rly realising what it was he was actually Saying. he’d storm out. relationship over. icons of always being a little bit in love w each other n not even noticing it until someone else points it out <3

god. sighs dramatically at the idea i jst had. i cn imagine in la verse lana being rly drunk getting bk from a date one time n inevitably it was just some random loser since she’s back to dating Trash in this era bc she just truly cbas trying after her breakup w dom n............. it would be like a parallel to tht one time they’d fallen out over him sleeping w imogen when she ws upset w him bt crawled into his bed drunk at a party just to lie w him for a little while despite everything...... she wld have gone to his instead of hers on some drunken automatic pilot n somehow got into his room n..... she’d clamber in n flop nxt to him n maybe it wld be funny at first if he woke up n was like lana what the fk...... are u doing here.... so disorientated n confused.......... n she’d just be joking initially bt very clearly drunk like making fun of her date talking abt how he kept complimenting his own hair n calling himself a tesla in a sea of prius’ n checking himself out in every window they passed n then the laughter wld slowly trickle off n she’d go kind of quiet fr a moment n maybe teddy wld assume she ws passing out bc she’d drank sm bt after a short silence she’d perk up with a mumble out of nowhere n, barely conscious of what she’s saying, b like “why didn’t u wait for me like u said u would”. n if he was like.............. huh? she’d have her eyes shut n just b murmuring half awake then open them sleepily to look at him n rly quietly be like........ “u promised”. mayb she’d even reach out to gingerly trace his face bt then her wrist wld go slack bc she was rly tired n she’d just wriggle closer n tuck her head to get comfy n be like “warm” then promptly fall asleep. JSGSFKGHFHGKHGSFKH. literally jst jolting him awake w this rarely serious n genuine conversation then passing out. jst the worst fk teddy’s life bet he lay there staring at the ceiling fr so long after tht one <3 lana wouldn’t remember this in the morning either she’d wake up like why am i here........ did we meet up last night............ teddy jst like >_> u crashed here it was nbd.

i picture the first week they moved to LA lana wldn’t have admitted it bt she wld be feeling rly homesick............ radcliffe was very much like the first place she truly felt was her home n she’d miss all of the ppl there n just the general area A Lot............. one night i can see her jst wanting to spend with teddy to have like a sense of familiarity in an unfamiliar city (even if she’s spent a decent amt of time there over the yrs bc of jameson records hving studios etc bt still) n i’m imagining them like. breaking into an indoor swimming complex that her n her friends in high skl used to break into in the summers when they vacationed yrs ago.... maybe lana still has a key cut tht works from a connection she made bk then idk <3 it doesn’t matter <3 n they’d inevitably be drunk n just messing around n splashing each other n doing handstand competitions n all the typical..... fun frivolous childish antics lana n teddy tend to get into whenever they’re around each other.... truly jst transformed into big kids whenever they’re in the other’s company..... inspired a little by this gifset jst in terms of the playing around underwater vibe. anyway. mayb they mostly dry off bt they end up climbing up onto the rooftop after n it’s a baking summer night anyway so it isn’t like they’ll catch a cold being damp bt they share a big fluffy towel n bottle of rum between them huddled overlooking the lights of the city. n maybe somehow it gets onto lana admitting how much she misses home n how it’s kind of weird being here especially bc she’s further from caleb. she’s never been this far from him since he was away in the army n we all kno hw tht turned out. mayb she’d go a bit quiet after saying this bt then i think she’d take his hand w their fingers laced together n she’d rest her head on his shoulder n be like. at least i’ll always have u. it’s like i took a piece of home w me. we’ve always had each other like that. then she’d perk up n lift her head n be like let’s make a deal. i’ll be ur home if u’ll be mine. ok? n make him pinky promise. i dnt think she’d quite consider the sentimentality in tht bt 😔 she nvr rly does she jst says what feels natural without attention paid to the deeper meaning tht motivated it n.... sighs. looks at u then looks away....

this is inspired by tht scene in don’t trust the b in apartment 23 where she’s like “look. that video of me getting rawed by my best friend means the world to me.” KJGFGJKSFHKGHKSFGHKFSHKGSHGK god. inevitably in lana n teddy’s prime when they were literally hooking up 24/7 in earlier college yrs they made.............. a few videos. i mean it’s jst realistic. it’s jst common sense. probably even a feature length film at one point. n i had this idea where bc teddy’s trying to get into acting etc mayb if he gets an agent his agent is like.... do u have any dirt u need to take care of? loose ends to tie up? incriminating files to delete? sex tapes? n if he was like... ya..... mayb his agent wld have asked him to delete them if he still had them on his computer or w.e i mean i kno lana wld n wouldn’t have deleted them she wld have been proud of their work of art...... bt maybe he told lana abt this just laughing abt it n the atmosphere ws lighthearted at first bc she’d find it rly funny too like ommmmggggggg i’m a skeleton in ur closet tht is so fun if u get famous i cld be blasted all over perez hilton that’s kind of sexy..... bt............... mayb she’d as a joke be like. mayb we shld watch it one last time before u delete it. kind of like a funeral service. a goodbye party. sailing out the flaming viking raft n paying our respects u know??? n they were joking bk n forth bt then she’d be like. seriously tho mayb we should? growing more accustomed to the idea actually being a genuine one even tho tht is fking. the WORST idea i have EVER heard in the world like i do NOT know how lana wld think she has the self control to do that bt in her head she’s like. teddy n i are jst best friends now... it’s fine........... we’re open w each other it’s just a bit of fun.......... n then i can imagine if he went along w this it’s like a game of chicken they’re playing w each other where they’re both like fking hell shd we do this.... dnt wna seem like I’M the one tht thinks i can’t handle it........ n it’s some back n forth like nick n jess in new girl where they’re daring each other to have the threeway w the landlord. bt then like not even.... a minute into watching it as they’re both silently holding their breath n crunching popcorn they mde for the occasion (insisting on acting like it ws just a normal movie night) lana wld literally have to be like. slams laptop shut. UMMMM i forgot.... i....... have a very important meeting......... n teddy’s just like. meeting? u don’t have a job... what are u ta-- n she’s like A MEETING A VERY IMPORTANT MEETING...... very blatantly squirming around as she slowly gets up n tries to head fr the door... n teddy’s like.... taking the excuse without much question too like... ya i have to run lines actually i jst remembered gt an audition coming up..... n they’re both like ya haha... maybe some other time.... or maybe just delete it it’s whatever.... anyway we gtg haha... bye.... ttyl...... lana wld literally hv to SPRINT out of there to go home n. deal w how flustered this made her i won’t lie. she bumps into parker n is all flushed in the face n is just like CAN’T TALK BYE n takes off sprinting again like some kind of freak. it’d b a train wreck. i jst think that’d b rly funny tho n dare i say it? it’s canon. 

[pr0sciutt0]

just gonna answer some more anons about the plus size reader stuff below the cut so i don’t clog up the dashboards of all of u lovely followers and then regular service will resume!!!!

Anonymous said to pr0sciutt0:Yay!! Im so excited! Thank you for being willing to write for poc! Readers and im excited to read the fic you linked! As a plus size girl myself, Whenever I read fics where the reader is I cant help but feel more confident about the parts of me Im self conscious about. Also im so glad you write with us in mind ❤️❤️ and Ive got even more admiration for your work! That anon must not realize most fics are small figure based 🙄 im sure they can get over it. They were being rude.

representation is important!!! i have life experience of writing for characters with dysphoria and chubby characters and lots of others so seeing them represented makes me feel happy, and i’m glad i can do something for other ppl too!! just pls remember that i am white and i may very well fuck up so pls do not be afraid to call me out!!! <3 

Anonymous said to pr0sciutt0:Oh geez, there's plenty of reader fics I don't read because they don't apply to me (like of a specific gender or sexuality) but I just skip them and move on. There's still plenty of stuff out there! I also don't like going into detail about Reader's physical appearance, unless, like you said it's specifically asked for.

bird meme “i am uncomfortable when we are not about me???”. i like to write vague stuff so as many people can connect to it as possible! that’s why if i get an ask that’s very obviously for someone’s o/c or whatever i prefer not to answer it bc i want my content to be enjoyable for lots of people!!!

Anonymous said to pr0sciutt0:Ive read your terzetto fic about a million times and even though its about a chubby reader you still dont describe the body THAT much like???? Anon just say you're fatphobic and move on

and its like. specifically THAT chapter. the body praise self-conscious chapter. i havent reviewed the others in a while so there might be more bigger readers but like, not all of them?! i try not to over-describe even for plus size reader’s bodies bc people carry their weights and stuff so differently! haz and i wear the same size in clothes but we carry our weight differently in different places so we look different!! i want people to Relate!!

jojotrashcan said to pr0sciutt0:Nat!! I just want to thank you for including a chubby reader in your works! As a certified fat gal (tm) it’s hard to identify with works of fiction, and it’s nice finally having something that reflects my body type! So just like a huge thank you from me! You know this already but I love and appreciate all you do for this community, and it always disappoints me to see someone send hate to some one who works so hard for us! Keep your chin up b/c I appreciate seeing diverse fiction!

i love u!!!! idk if i’ve mentioned before but what i want to do when i eventually Get Better At Not Letting My Mental Illness is work in a publishing house, specifically a YA imprint bc i’d like to make a push for more diverse heroines in ya lit!!! (i also wanna WRITE diverse ya heroines but u feel me, one thing at a time)

Anonymous said to pr0sciutt0:So God forbid someone write for different body types and races I low key just glaze over some fics cause you can tell who it's for even just with little hints of the body or skin type. Can't a girl a plus size girl be loved too by her fictional favorites :(

no . . . fat people . . . MUST BE UNHAPPY. ONLY WAY. 

bubbleu said to pr0sciutt0:Let also include the fact that if in most even kdramas , anime, or any type of tv show or movie if it's a big girl she usually ends up having to lose weight for guys to even like her or even look her way so how dare people be inclusive in fics for fictional people you do you boo I'm happy you're writing for anyone literally fuck that puto

these people are not happy that i’m like a size 18 and my fictional boyfriends still love me. its SO RARE to find a fat gal character where her desire to lose weight isn’t a driving character force. and its always always always framed as a good thing. nobody addresses the original body dislike and just says “WOW IM SO GLAD YOURE NOT FAT ANYMORE” like that isnt gonna leave a lasting scar on the person’s psyche i just

Anonymous said to pr0sciutt0:F the hater, all my big ladies deserve to fantasize about their hot JoJo spouses too!

this is a BODY POSITIVE space. chubby gals and guys and nonbinary pals. skinny gals and guys and nonbinary pals! hyper femme, hyper masc, androgynous, ones with body hair or traditionally ugly features or visible disabilities or scarring or anything - ur jojo spouses love u

Anonymous said to pr0sciutt0:Anon mad that fat people enjoy stuff smh

local anon unhappy that they have found one fic that is not about them

babyybitchhh said to pr0sciutt0:Anon is an entitled ass and I implore you not to let that message get to you. As you said, mentally replacing words to better match your own physical descriptors is super easy but considering that you’re writing these scenarios for free, no one has the right to complain anyway.Like, at the end of the day its still YOUR writing even if your fulfilling a request and the author will always have final say on the finished product. Consider only writing chubby/fat reader from now on tbh ; )

i am pretty much usually imagining a chubby reader or a reader who looks like me. thats why i do it!!!! i honestly just cant imagine going into another writer’s ask and being like “hey you have given me this piece of backstory about this fic you wrote and i HATE IT, IMMEDIATELY DENOUNCE IT???

[bec-da-horse-rider]

Hmu! Let’s be friends!

So basically I have one friend...though I only see her once a month, once every two months. I love her and she’s my best friend but she soooo busy(all the time!)! I feel so alone all the time! I’m extraordinarily shy and I don’t know how to make friends or talk to people. She says I’m her best friend to but I wish she’d rely on me a bit more. She NEVER talks to me when she’s sad or just calls me when she’s lonely, or talks to me when something bad has happened (examples; she got bullied, lost a game in her sport, etc. Not talking about crazy bad like someone died). I want (and kinda need) to feel needed and wanted. I’m the type of friend where if it’s 3am and you can’t sleep, your feeling lonely/sad, call me. I’m the type of friend that is always there for you. The type of friend where you can tell me anything and no one will ever know. You can talk to me about anything. But here’s the thing, no one ever does...I just wanna feel wanted and needed.

Heres some stuff abt me:

1. I love animals.

2. Horses most of all

3. I own two horses, a dog, and six cats.

4. I hate school.

4.2: So I hate talking about (my) school/school work. However I’m more then happy to talk about yours!

5. I’m a huge cowgirl

6. I love anime

7. I hate reading

8. But I somehow enjoy writing stories

10. I can’t seem to put them down in book form though :(

11. I’m christian (doesn’t mean you have to be! :) I’m cool with anything!)

11.2: I don’t like religion talk(it’s fine if your in the same religion). It just ends up in fights and stuff. I try to steer away from this subject because I know some people are uncomfortable with it and I’d rather not end my friendship(or whatever we are) over the fact I’m Christian and stuffs. I won’t talk about it to you unless you want to.

12. Not gonna lie here: I do NOT support LGBTQ I do however support you. I won’t judge you for being gay(etc). You can be apart of the LGBTQ community. I may not support what you are doing or the decision you made but I do support you and I will NEVER make you feel like being gay(etc) is wrong or bad. I just feel like y’all should know that ❤️

13: pm/dm/message me any time! 24/7

14: I am SUPER self conscious about the way I look. I don’t like the way I look either so I’m sorry but I won’t FaceTime or send pics with my face in it >~<

15: as I have christian parents and I am christian if a show is rated any higher then tv-14 (rarely 14a is ok) I will not/won’t watch it

16: I like shows like; miraculous, voltron, dragon prince, etc. But I also like shows like; greys anatomy, skyscraper(that’s a movie lol), *insert another action movie/show here*, etc. I like kid shows (obviously not for like 3 year olds and stuff; tru, paw patrol, etc) but I also like more adult ish type stuffs (not any higher rating then tv-14 and not talking about s*x stuffs). I love action movies blood and gore doesn’t bother me!

17: my favourite show is “RWBY”

18: I’m indecisive.

19: my favourite colour is; black, blue, and a royal purple. I can’t choose!

20: I’m 15! (2004 is meh birth date. My birthday is sometime in April)

21: I’m Canadian! I actually do get lots of “oh so that’s why your so nice”s (yes people online have told me that after they found out I was Canadian lol) and it is funny.

22: My name is “Rebecca” I don’t like it though...I prefer to be called ”Bec”. Though I’m not picky and I won’t get mad if you call me by my full name or anything else! Call me whatever you want!

23: I’m homeschooled!

24: I have weird taste in music :)

25: I’m single, Iv never had a boyfriend...or even a crush! (Just to be clear I’m just saying that so you know me better, I’m not looking for a boyfriend or anything)

26: my parents are strict(ish). My parents don’t like/allow me to talk to ppl online I don’t know irl. But I am literally going insane from loneliness. I NEED someone to talk to. The loneliness is quite literally swallowing me whole.

That’s all! Hmu! (Boy or girl!)

Two of my favourite songs rn 😊😋❤️

[unproduciblesmackdown]

i love winston i love when he’s like 

okay wait i’m having all these thoughts at once. i’m assuming taylor let winston name the Area for their rendezvous since they were hiring the quants in secret but it’s funny he’s just like hey meet me after math meetup but also okay the scene is funny because yknow taylor walks in and it’s just winston standing there in the middle of the room all Ready with his first line even prepared like “you ever done math meetup?” and then i imagined math meetup to just be an outright brawl because if the next beat was him picking up a chair to go into melee mode it’d work

sdghjfds and then taylor saying “is that what this is?” like imagine winston just going “no”

i love winston he goes off about his life crisis and depression and then taylors like okay let me just go ahead and cut in here. what else did winston have in this speech about how he promises he is chastened by self-loathing now

and yes this was the thing i was originally going to say i’m just in that classic “omg i am On your wavelength so hard rn winnie” when he says “well i...promise to try. but as far as successfully not being a dick, i can’t absolutely guarantee it. like i can my coding.”

and every time i’m like oh my god winston good job....what a measured, honest, genuinely helpful response. truly in this moment you’re showing taylor that you can be great at this if they give you a shot. amazing!! perfect!!!! poetry!!!!!! ilu

and then taylor gives them the Reprimanding Look and says the “there you go, [backsliding into being a dick] again” and even now that i Know that’s what happens in the scene i don’t #get it lol i can only Comprehend winston’s social perspective there lmao........in the furthest stretch i’m like okay was it just the “i can guarantee my coding” bit? but i’m kidding myself nah i still can’t see that or any other part as Obviously Rude Or Annoying or whatever like no it just all completely makes sense to me and really solid. i will never Get It

but the real moral i get out of all of this is that i think it’s great whenever they interact b/c they’re both mayhaps socially “”offputting”” and Unusual in different ways and i like that they seem to find it fairly easy to interact with each other....taylor keeps like just providing these subtle prompts to guide him whenever they’re talking which, literally every time winston appears he’s interacting with taylor so, yeah they’re using these small cues to send this extra layer of communication to winston about what they’d like him to do right in this moment. and meanwhile winston already in his second meeting imo i always interpret that as him trying to act a lot more taylor-esque in his second attempt, and then, yknow, he’s just like, he gets warningly told by taylor “don’t annoy anybody” and then he annoys his coworkers so hard they both just leave and winston, bless him, just Stays and keeps working until taylor shows up and then he’s like heyyyy....whats up lol. and what’s Gold is that taylor is clearly combining both their own previous phrasing and winston’s previous phrasing to say “you backslid into being a dick >:|” and winston’s just like Fine Yes Big Time sigh....i figure he stands up to potentially anticipate being fired lol but also possibly just cuz it’s a bit weird not to anyways seeing as its just them.....but the point is that at no point in any of his interactions with taylor does winston act like he’s intimidated or offput by them......he Defers to them for sure but like, yknow doesn’t act like anything they do when they’re just being how they’re always being is like, wow taylor is weird and this is something that bothers me at all

and like i mentioned with taylor basically quoting winston some number of days later, they’re also going along with his yngwie malmsteen metaphor even if they just initially shoot it down with that “sad.” lol....but anyways it’s evident that like, taylor is taking in this info about winston but not in a “winston you suck and i want to give you an extremely detailed report on why i think so” way but instead in a “i’m paying attention to you and retaining info about you and i’m using what i learn in the way we interact so we can get more on the same page communicatively. like taylor’s not just asking winston to kind of be conscious and rein himself in sometimes, they’re also Asking him by using the way he phrases things himself and visual cues he can parse....they’re making this effort to make things easier for him basically, aka meeting winston at this midway point where they’re both trying to be aware of and employ the other’s particular social/communication style so that said socializing/communicating just Works Better. like, it’s nice because taylor doesn’t “””””have””””” to devote the least amt of consideration to making adjustments for winston’s funky little social approach, but they do. and winston is always making an effort to watch for taylor’s cues and listens when they’re sent, and taylor is making the effort to send those cues. i just think they’re neat

and the ways in which they’re gonna be seen maybe by the average rando who’s unused to them as socially Weird / Difficult / Etc and the ways this can present problems for either of them is natch different from them both, but i think it’s also neat how even tho (weird/difficult) + (weird/difficult) might seem like it should = extra deluxe weird and difficult, really they just seem to have figured out how to interact with each other fairly well and done so fairly quickly/easily...they #get it when they’re talking...that Dynamic....which is also extra fun because of the ways that winston clearly contrasts with taylor, and that’s always going to be fun, especially when they’re actually working together so they’re gonna want to try to understand each other / be on the same page / agree / get along / etc etc.....love to see the outwardly real different characters just work well together and not be bothered

also will keeps mentioning he’s in more episodes of billions (not in those exact words but) and sounding lightheartedly pleased about it so i’m a) glad and b) hoping this means he makes it to s5......trying to pitch benston before they have the writing roundtable for that one or however writing for tv works. i have a bud literally in that line of work. I Will Never Inquire. like hey patch me through to the billions ppl in nyc, i know you’re in la and have been in this for a year so you have Every Connection and have just been waiting for me to ask

anyways winston and ben kim ought to be kissing. @ us about it 

[denimini]

Seeing that khalid & colbert liked serendipity i cant help but feel proud & happy for our baby but i cant help remembering all those th solo stans who started shitting on jm & serendipity (saying he didnt even write it) the minute singularity came out. KARMA is on jm's side bitches, when will u learn? Like seriously his fancam trended & now this. Jimin is a good person that's why good things happen to him wheather ppl like it or not.

Hey, Anon!

What an intellectual you are! All your message speaks truth. Today’s been a blessed day for us Jimin and BTS stans because finally Jimin’s voice and technique received the global recognition from big and influential artists that it deserves. How are haters going to say now that Jimin can’t sing or that he doesn’t deserve his position as the lead vocalist? Jiminnie, our baby who is always always self-conscious about his singing abilities is being praised in such a public way!Serendipity, a song that came out almost a year ago, is still snatching wigs.

Oh, what a gorgeous day!

I laugh at the people who clowned the song or used the other intros to dismiss it as “lesser”. Especially based on “Jimin didn’t write it”. Well, hello, Tae didn’t write his intro either. In fact did any of vocal line write their own song? I know Jin was credited when Epiphany came out but is not credited in the album. So, that argument is pretty invalid.

Anyway, before someone come to me to accuse me of “being a solo stan” or “hating the other intros” let me stop you all right there! I love all the intros, I listen to them all, I appreciate them all, I streamed them ALL but Serendipity is my favourite one. It was my fave even in its shorter version and it is even more so now that I heard it in its full beauty and I’m not going to apologize for that.

I love the beat, the lyrics (thank you lyrical genius Namjoonie), Jimin’s gorgeous voice and stunning delivery. I love the delicate but detailed and mesmerizing choreo, the striking MV. I just love it all. The song gives me the softest, most airy and light feeling. It makes me smile and it fills me with serenity and calmness. I feel loved, taken care of and embraced when I listen to it and I know this song was made for Jimin. No-one would have done Serendipity more justice.

I wouldn’t say it wasn’t loved when it came out or well liked but I always felt it deserved more. It wasn’t promoted nor performed, it wasn’t praised by the group or even talked about enough. It just came and went away and I always felt a song like that was meant for more.

And now, 11 months later, my ‘more’ is here.

You’re right, Jiminnie deserves this. Not just because he is a wonderful person, I’d like to think all of Bangtan are, but because for the longest time he struggled with self-confidence and self love. He was always worried about his voice, always doubtful and he was worried for Serendipity. He even send Kookie away when he came to the recording. I hope now he sees that it is not just us ARMYs who will love him anyway that appreciate his song but also professional, soulful artists. I know he cares for us a lot but this is a different type of validation.

Anyway, I’m rambling a lot. To put it short: Serendipity deserves all the love and praise in the world for everything that it is and so does Jimin, for he is immensely hard-working, dedicated and talented.

[lunebinnie]

(1/14)I am so sorry for taking so long! (I also had to spend a lot of time studying this week bc I had my first exam for my Anatomy Lab on Wednesday... And then we had our first exam for *Lecture* Thursday (which also was the day I had a bunch of powerpoints due for my very intimidating adviser...) and then I had to substitute teach all day Friday (and then I meant to respond sooner but I got so busy 😭) so yeah I completely understand about school getting in the way no worries abt it!)

And also sleeping in on a day off when you’ve been busy studying lately is completely valid hon 👌 I hope that your midterms go well and that you’re able to stay healthy and take care of yourself in the midst of preparing! (not that you wouldn’t, I just have a bad habit of neglecting things like healthy sleeping and eating habits when I get caught up studying, so hopefully you’re not like me in that way) And yeah me too! I mean on the one hand I understand *why* they have that limit

3)If u could just send as many as u want there would be so much more spam and ppl would definitely abuse that. But also?? Um? I have a chronic condition called ‘Can'tShuttheFuckUp-itis’? 🤷 This policy is so discriminatory towards people like me who suffer from this crippling condition! I feel oppressed honestly 🙄 tumblr rlly has something against ppl just trying to get to know each other huh? Lol, but at least now we know why it eats them I’ll be sure to try to prevent that in the future

4)And oh my gosh that’s so cool! I’m super jealous!! 😮 lol. I wish they hosted kpop nights at my local bar! 😭😭 But no, I’m here at my little state college in a little 2 mi2 town just under pop 5500 (and idek if that’s before or after counting college students) in the middle of the 'farm zone’ of my state. All we get is country night @Riley’s 😩 RIP. But ya I wish I had more ppl around me who were into kpop! So far I’ve only met 3 ppl who listen to it. One was that roommate I told you about

5)One is just a casual listener who isn’t really into 3rd gen groups and mostly just listens to Girl’s Generation but that’s valid, and one isn’t even rlly a fan of any groups in particular, she just puts the kpop station on when she studies bc she says she needs music but if it’s in English she gets distracted, lol And omg that is insane! $500?? And 5 copies of the same album? 😲 (Says the girl who’s been a Monbebe for a hot 2 months and has already bought three (3??) Monsta X T-shirts… 😂

6)in my defense tho one of them was only $10 bc it was Black Friday? And u can’t blame me, Hot Topic is my krypotonite lmao) but yeah I already feel guilty about spending 30+ dollars on one copy of an album (thx international shipping) That’s so wild. And yeah I don’t get why ppl feel the need go out of their way just to insult other ppl’s music taste. I’m also pretty self conscious abt sharing my music taste and obviously the way everyone around me talks abt kpop has made me even moreso now 🙃

7) I haven’t gotten into too many groups yet bc I’m trying to go slowly and focus on getting into one group at a time but I do have a long list of groups I plan on getting into eventually! NU'EST is one that I’ve heard some of their songs on my Spotify based on my listening history and they’re on the list haha 😂 And omg I feel really similarly about Got7! I tried to get into them after I got into Monsta X and right before I got into Astro and although I did really like some of their songs

8)I haven’t really been able to get into their music as much as MX and Astro’s yet. I do think they seem like a really fun group in terms of personality though. As for the comeback I know right?? I mean I know a lot of ppl were freaking out abt the comeback being a 'sexy’ and how it wasn’t gonna be the same cute Astro we all love anymore. But they filled the MV with flowers and glitter and still managed to make it sexy as fuck! This album has a very different vibe but it still felt like them

9) They managed to pull off a more mature and sexy concept while still staying true to themselves and I’m so here for it! I don’t know if I could really pick a favorite era because I love them all! I mean Spring Up was an excellent era and every era since then has been great. They really don’t know how to have any bad concepts or make any bad songs huh? Lol. Since I’m still pretty new I really love the title tracks since I’ve heard them the most. (I have listened to their full discography

10)But I haven’t listened to their Bsides enough to pick out my favorites from those) I also really love Again though! The first time I saw the dance practice I was super into it and then I looked up the lyrics and was like 'this is supposed to be sad/regretful song it has no reason to be this much of a BOP?!’ 😂 I have such a hard time picking favorites though. Since All Light is new though I actually have listened to it enough times to pick some 'non-title song favorites’ from there haha

11) Other than All Night (which is great, obvi) I also really like Starry Sky, Moonwalk and Role Play 😂 and Bloom is so pretty oh my god! 😭😭 the album is great and has no bad songs but those are the ones I particularly like. I feel u about the dances honestly. I think that’s actually what drew me to kpop initially. I mean I like listening to the songs ofc but it wasn’t until after I actually watched an MV/saw the choreography that I actually was like… Oh shit I’m gonna have to be a fan now

12) It was the visual aspect that really made me want to be a kpop fan bc I haven’t really seen that level of performance with any western music. Which isn’t to say I think all western music is bad but I think it’s really impressive to watch kpop groups singing and also doing really impressive choreography and performing at the same time. Plus that’s the part I can show my family and say 'even if you don’t like the music because of the language barrier you have to admit they’re talented dancers’

13)And yes! With Astro especially I think the dance practices rlly succinctly capture the reason why I love them so much. They are *super* talented but they also have such great chemistry and u can rlly tell that they just love each other and have so much fun together! I love a family of six hardworking dorks! 🤧💗 lol. And yeah it’s too bad that neither of are able to see them this cb ☹️ (I also did the 'hypothetically…’ research but it wouldn’t have worked out 😒) I hope you’re right though!

14)Hopefully the success of this comeback is the catalyst to Astro getting more of the attention they deserve and there will be many more opportunities to see them in the future! (Although it is too bad we won’t be able to see live performances from this cb, since it’s so pretty 😭 tho with their track record I’m sure future cb’s will be just as good lol) But what about you? Do you have any favorite songs from this cb in particular? Talk again soon! (I’ll try 2 b better @ responding 😭) -AHA

FUCKKK okay so after like a million years of midterms + 2 days straight of sleeping ya girl is BACK to answer these asks after getting through the hurdle of copying and pasting and italicizing 14 asks onto one response on my phone. Did I perhaps fail at least 3 of my midterms? Quite probably. Do I have the energy to care atm? No. Did I need to get away from everything and fly to Boston to visit my friend for reading week? Yes.

How did all your exams go? That sounds crazy though! I hope you got through everything ok!

Tbh I have the same unhealthy habits too, I essentially became nocturnal and lived on like one meal a day + snacks and coffee 😭 fr, I would be writing my midterm from 11:30-1:30, go home to eat, sleep from 4-7pm, then wake up to study all night for the next one, and repeat,,,,, I’m like an actual mess tbh

Honestly as much as I’ve enjoyed the Aroha secret admirer thing (it was sooo nice getting to meet new people) rn I’m just so glad that post-reveal we don’t have to deal with tumblr ask limits and writing entire essay responses all in one go.

Honestly 3 shirts isn’t even THAT bad especially if they weren’t all like ordered from overseas so they wouldn’t have been that expensive. When I went to the Myeongdong underground shopping centre I went craaaazy with Kpop merch despite stanning (at that point, pretty much only) BTS for a whole 3 weeks, so I ended up coming back with 2 albums, a bunch of stickers, a photocard pack (also bonus: got an Astro one too) and like a BUNCH of bt21 stuff. Speaking of, my All Light album finally came in!! I ended up getting a Moonbin, MJ, Jinjin, and Sanha photocard plus the a Rocky lyric booklet and ik I basically got THE best set for someone who loves all of them w my whole heart 😩✊ but I’m still sad I didn’t get any Eunwoo cards since he was my first Astro bias 😭 it’s soooooo pretty I love it sm and like lowkey I’ll probably end up buying more of their albums anyway oopsss

Speaking of Monsta X btw, I heard their new song and I thought it was really good! What did you think of it?

Regarding favourite songs, I swear my moods change so much, so it’s pretty common for me to not love a song at first and sort of rediscover it months later, and tbh that’s kind of what happened with Innocent Love, Baby, and Again. In this album though, I’d say my favourite Bsides are probably be Bloom, 1 in a Million, and Heart Brew Love.

And I toootally agree with the performance aspect of kpop being the thing to attract me it, even before I got really into it I’d sometime like to watch dance practices (and lowkey even learned a bunch of choreos a with my friend last term just bc we had access to a frequently empty dance studio). It’s just super impressive to see people singing and dancing at the same time mostly live, and for the same reasons I’m also super into musicals as well, which isn’t so say I think like lip syncing or just dancing/singing is bad, it’s just refreshing to see it done all at once, you know?

Also side story it turns out that I actually DO know another Astro fan irl!! Her older sister (who I’m closer to bc we’re closer in age) is the one who bought the million got7 albums. Even though she’s been a fan of Astro since before debut, her sister doesn’t even know she listens to kpop since she was afraid of getting roasted at first, but now she’s in too deep to say anything. I’d mentioned liking Astro to her before, but she didn’t say anything bc she didn’t want to expose herself in front of her sister but on Friday I saw her while her sister was out and she was like “oh btw here’s a secret I went to the Toronto fanmeet last year but my sister doesn’t know” I was SHOOK but tbh I’m just super glad now to have someone to talk about it and go to concerts with (I’m banking on the fact that they’re coming back)

Anyway, THANK YOU SO MUCH for waiting 2747287482 million years for my response, and it was so great to finally (officially) meet you Kjersten!

@kaptain-k-pop

[directoravasharpe]

prompt: avalance out with the team ft hornydrunk!sara and tryingsohardtokeephercool!ava

me, literally yesterday: i don’t take prompts

me, now, getting this: hmmmmmmm maybe i should take prompts

so….. maybe this is a thing now???? if ppl want to send me prompts, then i might write short things? i feel like after my big angst fic i’m totally drained for writing anything long so maybe i will try something a little bit new???? the joke is going to be on me if i get no prompts after this, but ah well.

“Put on something nice,” Sara says, as soon as Ava picks up.

“Okay,” Ava says, without hesitation. Then she pauses, her face scrunching up. “Wait. Why?”

“Team night out. We’re getting drunk.”

Ava looks at her, an eyebrow raised. “And the team wants me there?”

“Doesn’t matter. I want you there,” Sara says, as if that is the end of the matter.

To be honest, it probably is. Nobody argues with Sara and wins.

No-one except Ava, that is.

Ava smiles, and she can feel her cheeks colouring just a little. This is still new, and she’s not quite used to the feeling of being unreservedly wanted.

She changes with Sara still on the line. Sara is unhelpful, telling her that everything looks good.

Ava thinks she’s maybe biased.

When Ava eventually arrives at the bar, some dive in Star City that she definitely never would’ve chosen herself, it’s clear that Sara is already a few drinks in.

Or maybe more than a few, because Ava knows how well Sara holds her alcohol, and when Sara gets up to greet her, she actually stumbles. Ava shoots out a hand to catch her before she falls, and Sara looks at her, grinning.

She’s wearing heels, and Ava isn’t, so they’re almost the same height.

Sara’s eyes sweep over what Ava is wearing. It’s none of the options she had shown Sara, but Sara certainly seems appreciative, her eyes lingering brazenly.

Sara sways forward in the heels.

Her hands find Ava’s jean loops, pulling her in. Her mouth is hot, and she tastes like alcohol.

Ava’s eyes close instinctively, and then a second later, she remembers where she is, and pulls away.

“We’ve got an audience, Sara,” she says.

Sara scoffs. Ava raises an eyebrow. Sara turns around to see the rest of the Legends trying very hard to look like they weren’t watching.

Sara turns back to Ava and shrugs, before pulling her back to the table.

Everyone else seems to be even more drunk than Sara. The table is loud, and usually Ava would be self-conscious, would want them to quieten down, but it’s nice seeing them relax. God knows they need it.

Plus, the bar is almost entirely empty, so they’re not exactly bothering anyone.

Nate looks at her, then says, “Do you know why you’re here?” only slurring his words a little.

Ava sips on her drink.

“Because Sara wants me to be here, I presume,” she replies, her voice dry.

Nate shakes his head. “Nuh uh. Well, kinda. But it’s mainly because everyone else is scared to deal with her when she gets properly drunk.”

Ava laughs. “Why, exactly, would that be?”

“She gets mean.”

He looks to Ray for back-up. Sara shoots Ray a look, and he shakes his head. “No idea what you’re talking about, bro.”

Nate looks around the table, “Anyone?”

Zari nods, and then says something, but Ava doesn’t hear it, because all of a sudden there is a hand sliding up her thigh.

“I don’t get mean,” Sara says, pouting, putting on a show.

Ava can’t breathe. She takes another sip, and then another, and all the while, Sara’s hand is moving further upwards.

Sara isn’t even looking at Ava, and that’s the worst thing. Sara is hardly even concentrating, and she’s driving Ava wild.

The Legends are talking, and she can hear them, but the words aren’t processing.

Then Sara turns to her. “What do you think, Aves?”

Ava coughs, swallowing. Her mouth is dry, despite the drink in front of her. “About what?” she asks, her hand going to her neck, fingers pressing in as she tries to ground herself, tries to think of something other than where Sara’s fingers are.

Sara leans in close, her breath warm on Ava’s ear. “They said I was already being mean,” Sara says, punctuating her words with pressure, her fingers far too high up for comfort. “And they wanted to know what you think.”

Ava turns to properly look at Sara, her eyes wide.

Sara gives her a look, tilting her head, a smirk on her face.

Ava doesn’t answer, and instead downs the rest of drink, before getting up abruptly, Sara’s hand falling out of her lap.

“Next round’s on me,” Ava says, desperate to get away for a second.

Sara follows, because of course she does. Her hand snakes around Ava’s waist. Ava gasps as Sara’s fingers work up underneath the hem of her shirt.

She looks over her shoulder. This time, the Legends aren’t watching, and are instead still talking animatedly.

Ava turns back to Sara, her voice low. Sara’s hand skates over her skin, and Ava takes another deep breath. “You are mean when you’re drunk.”

Sara plants a kiss on Ava’s lips, then winks. “You haven’t seen anything yet. I’m practically still sober.”

Ava rolls her eyes. “Great.”

“You love it.”

“I don’t.”

“You do,” Sara insists.

“Maybe.”

[i-am-here-imagines]

Match Up #4

“ I would like a matchup!😄I'm a 5'4 straight Hispanic female. Appearance: chubby, shoulder length black curly/wavy hair, with dark brown eyes. Hobbies: hiking forest mountains, MMA, working out, reading, learning about things you don't learn in school (like did you know that the most feared pirate of all time is a female named Dian Murray? Or that soda and chlorine will make a small explosion?) Likes: family, cute things, k-drama (romantic ones with unlikely pairing), action movies, manga. Dislikes: disrespectful ppl, ignorant ppl, ppl who don't try hard when they want something. Personality: stoic/mad at 1st but actually loud, bubbly, very self-conscious, hardworking, some say aggressive but I don't see it, I can't stand up for my self but will do for loved ones, accepting of everyone (mostly because I know what it feels like to be excluded) and rarely hates on anyone (only if they meet my dislikes or if they pick on my loved ones).

I'm sorry for the number of asks I'm sending I didn't anticipate sending in so much info😅. Anyways I believe you ask for that's kind I trait we look for in a romantic partner. Well, would like to be with a person that accepts me for who I am but is not afraid of helping me improve myself. ”

Requested by @gwen4h !

Surprisingly, yet also not surprisingly, it was pretty easy to figure out a match up for you. :3 Sorry it took so long! I’ve had some internet issues, so hopefully, this was worth the wait!

I pair you with…

Midoriya!

You two likely met when Midoriya at a local gym. He probably noticed you when you first started visiting because of some work out apparel you were wearing that was <favorite hero> themed, but was probably too nervous to really go out on a limb and introduce himself. Eventually, you asked him if he could spot you while you doing maxes, and got to know each other a little better before he asked if you’d like to go out for lunch/coffee/etc.

The first date turned out to be less awkward as expected, and you both managed to learn quite a bit about each other. He asked about your hobbies and you two (of course) had many things in common. There happened to be a superhero movie coming out, which led to another meeting (*cough*date*cough*) being planned.

Now, it definitely took some time before he realized he had feelings for you; you two had worked out together, gone on several hikes, runs, and casual strolls, and you had geeked out over your favorite mangaka and movies, yet it took him a good couple months to realize that you two clicked well. Like, really well.

Once he finally asks you out, he’ll probably have planned out everything from the brand of shoes he wore and the organization of the silverware at the restaurant he’d take you to. He’d probably keep it simple from an outsider’s perspective, but every single detail would be meaningful so you’d be impressed. Good ol’ Midoriya making sure you know you’re cared about.

You two would regularly bond over the fact you were once somewhat ostracized from others around you, and try to volunteer and help others despite Midoriya’s hero work. If you see a little kid being bullied while out on a walk, you both step in and try to teach the kids a moral lesson about treating others kindly.

Both you and Midoriya tend to geek out over series you two end up watching on Netflix and such, knowing each easter egg, reference, and the character’s actors, and you both end up testing each other’s knowledge teasingly every once in a while.

Midoriya didn’t really have this sort of tradition in his family, but you end up planning a day of the week for you to either visit his mom or your family on a weekend day for a family dinner. Midoriya never really had big family dinners or anything, but he finds out he loves spending time with people that remind him of you. Plus, he gets to know and learn to value the people that are the most important to you.

While Midoriya was a bit of a nerdy guy, he had never actually watched a Korean drama. It wasn’t like he was opposed to the idea, but he had been so consumed by studying heroes that it never really crossed his mind. But once you came into his life and introduced some of his favorites to him? He was hooked and it was adorable how he’d cry when the simple shop owner would win the heart of the girl love interest rather than the fancy CEO. :>

He is genuinely impressed when you tell him some obscure fact about something, like how most toilets flush in Eb or how all the swans in England belong to the Queen. Despite him have several notebooks full of hero facts, he still is baffled that you took the time to learn all these crazy little details about the world. It’s also fun for the two of you to take some time to simply exchange things you know while bundled up in blankets on the couch and vegging out on snacks.

These were fun and easy to write, please request again! ^^ I didn’t write as many headcanons as I normally do, so I made them longer to make up for it. Hope you like these!

-muncats