#all those years dodging doctor who fans

[bloodofgrapes]

if you stay on tumblr long enough you will eventually draw david tennant

[alj4890]

Mixed Signals

(Dr. Tobias Carrick x F!MC *Chris Valentine) (Dr. Ethan Ramsey x F!MC*Chris Valentine) (Dr. Bryce Lahela x F!MC*Chris Valentine) in an Open Heart Fan fiction.

Masterlist

Chapter 1

"Wow!" Sienna exclaimed when Chris stepped into the living room. "You look gorgeous!"

Chris grinned as she obediently did a slow twirl for her roommates. The off the shoulder gray dress she had on not only highlighted her gray/green eyes but also hugged her lithe figure like a glove.

"Trying to make the rest of us look bad, Chris?" Aurora teased.

"Nope." Chris sat down next to her. "Just felt like dressing up tonight.

"You look great." Elijah told her.

Jackie snorted. "You look like someone who is going to be doing a walk of shame come five in the morning."

Chris rolled her eyes. "No walk of shame tonight. I've got an early morning at work to worry about."

"What a waste." Jackie pointed out. "That dress is meant for only one thing and hanging out with your coworkers isn't one of them."

Chris shrugged. "Tonight, this dress is meant to celebrate the fact that I'm still here."

"Amen to that." Sienna swooped behind her for another hug. "Let's get this night started!"

It didn't take long for the group of five to make their way over to Donahue's. By the time they arrived, the bar was packed with doctors attempting to destress before heading home for the night.

Chris smiled, exchanging a few words with those who called out to her, as she made her way to the bar. Squeezing between two men, she yelled out her group's drink order.

"Look who finally decided to show their face again!" One of the men next to her exclaimed.

Chris glanced up and found herself genuinely smiling. "Hey Mike!"

"Hey yourself. So you singing with us tonight or what?" He asked. "The crowd goes wild every time you join us for a few songs."

"I don't know." She glanced at the stage over in the far corner to see his band setting up for the night's entertainment.

Chris was known for having an amazing voice. She'd even been offered chances by producers during her college years to record some songs. Her heart though had always belonged to medicine. As much fun as she had performing, nothing gave her more satisfaction than trying to solve the mysteries of the human body.

Mike heard her singing karaoke one night and begged her to join his band. When she told him she couldn't possibly with her work schedule, he then pleaded with her to at least sing a few songs whenever she felt like it. Her roommates demanded she sing their favorite songs and so she usually spent at least one night every week or two performing for the patrons of Donahue's.

Singing had always been cathartic for Chris, especially in dealing with the two doctors who seemed destined to leave her in constant uncertainty. All she needed to help get over them pushing her away again and again were a few heartbreak songs. Then, she was good to go for the next round with them.

"Sienna told us what happened." Mike added. "It's good to see you're back to your old self."

"Thanks Mike."

He leaned closer to her. "Look, you can't tell me no about getting up there. That dress alone will make Reggie give us a bonus for performing tonight."

"She'll be up there." A man said over her shoulder.

Chris whirled towards the familiar voice on her other side only to find Tobias.

"I will, huh?" She asked, fighting back a smile.

"Uh huh. You owe me a chance to find out why this guy is begging you to sing." His eyes drifted down her figure. "I've been dodging Edenbrook staff left and right waiting on you to show up. You owe me one song for that sacrifice alone."

"And here I thought the chance to hang out with me was worth the effort." Chris shook her head in mock sadness.

"That too." He winked at her. "But you can't expect me to hear something like this and not demand a demonstration."

She bit back her laughter. "Okay. One song."

"Four." Mike pleaded.

"Not you too!" She playfully pushed the musician away. "I'm still recovering."

"Three." Tobias countered.

"You literally saw me on my death bed a few weeks ago." She reminded him.

"Yeah, I did. But looking at you now," his lips slowly curved, "I'm starting to doubt you were ever near Death's door."

Chris tried to remain firm but found herself capitulating with the full force of his smile directed at her.

"I'm only doing one song tonight, two if I feel up to it." She bit down on her bottom lip to keep from laughing. "Some of us aren't too sure our lungs are completely healed yet."

"I'd be more than happy to take you somewhere private and do an examination." Tobias offered with an unrepentant grin.

Chris playfully swatted his arm.

"I bet you would."

Mike watched their interactions quietly. With an understanding smile, he told Chris to come find him when she decided which songs she wanted to perform.

"I'll make sure she does." Tobias told him. "No way I'm leaving until I hear her sing."

"You're lucky I'm in such a good mood." Chris said once Mike was gone. "Normally I would have fought against caving under pressure."

He nudged her with his elbow, chuckling as he took a long sip of his drink.

She nudged him back.

It felt good to simply joke around with someone again and not be wondering what it all meant.

The two continued to tease one another as they discussed their day. Chris found herself forgetting about being there for a party as she listened to Tobias discuss a new mysterious case he was working on. He asked for her opinion, then offered his own with a patient she'd been given.

It was eye opening how different he was compared to the diagnostic team she worked with. Though he was just as intelligent as they were, he wasn't above admitting he hadn't thought of something. There was genuine admiration she could detect when he thanked her for a new possibility with his patient.

Granted, Ethan would usually give her a special smile when she came to a conclusion that he, Baz, nor June came to, but this was different. Maybe it was because she didn't feel like she was in a race to hurry and be the first to diagnose a patient.

Once the tray of drinks was set between them, Tobias helped her carry them to the table her friends were sitting. Chris was not really that surprised to see Bryce sitting with them. He usually left his fellow surgeons after a few drinks and remained with her and their friends the rest of the night.

The one that nearly floored her sitting there though was Ethan.

Chris couldn't recall a time when she'd ever seen him join anyone at the bar, much less the group she typically sat with. He'd never been one to purposely socialize.

She noticed Sienna squirming a bit beside him. Her eyes darted back and forth between Ethan, Tobias, and Chris.

Sienna was clearly in a panic over the fact that she practically yanked the doctor down to sit at their table as he walked past. She'd been determined to have everyone who loved Chris there to celebrate. She simply forgot about the possible animosity between him and Tobias.

Chris broke the tension first that seemed to leave everyone unusually silent.

"Here we go." She set the drinks out. "Sorry, Ethan. If I'd known you'd arrived, I would have ordered you something too."

The silence unnerved her as Ethan narrowed his eyes upon her and Tobias. His eyes remained on her a touch longer as if trying to discern what was truly going on between them. Chris could only handle the scrutiny for so long before she tried to escape.

"I'll, uh, I'll go order you something."

She whirled around and plunged back into the crowd, ignoring the multiple voices who told her not to worry about it and the offers of taking care of it for her.

Crap. I don't know why I thought this night would be fun. When has that ever been the case when the men in my life are added to the mix? The sexual tension alone never ends well, at least for me. Should I have invited Tobias out somewhere more neutral where I wouldn't run into Ethan, even if I want to just be friends with him?

Once she reached the bar, she took a deep breath and waited to get the nearest bartender's attention.

Chris nearly jumped out of her skin when she felt a hand touch her back.

"I told you I would get my drink." Ethan grumbled, sitting down beside her. "Besides, why are you paying for everyone's drinks tonight?"

"I'm celebrating life." She mumbled, wondering if he was even aware he still had his hand along the small of her back.

"We're the ones meant to celebrate that." He replied, settling his gaze on her profile.

Chris knew if she turned towards him, meeting those blue eyes of his, and saw any type of warmth in them that she'd weaken her stance on remaining romantically uninvolved with him.

She'd go back to longing for something she knew he'd say was difficult or impossible or whatever new argument he would use to keep her from getting closer to him. With this second chance at life, shouldn't she go for something new instead of something that usually leaves her heartbroken?

She glanced back at the table. Tobias was sitting in Ethan's vacated spot, talking easily to Bryce and her roommates.

At least that's going well, she thought.

"So?" Ethan drew her attention back to him. "Tobias was invited."

"He did save my life." Chris reminded him.

"That he did." He mumbled. "I didn't realize you two had gotten close since then."

"We've become friends." She explained.

"Friends?"

"Yes," Chris turned towards Ethan. "You know what a friend is?" Her eyes widened as if shocked. "Don't tell me that one of medicine's most brilliant minds has yet to learn what a friend is." She clucked her tongue in pity. "If you're still not sure, Google it."

Ethan rolled his eyes in response.

Chris grinned at him. She always got a thrill out of annoying him to the point he'd roll those blue eyes of his. It was an action she took a great deal of pride in causing. She knew if he didn't respond with a quip of his own that she'd won the round of banter.

"You two get together often?" Ethan asked after a few blessed seconds of silence.

"I think we will." Chris decided. "After all, he and I have a lot in common."

"Such as?"

"We're both doctors." She began.

"Which you have in common with nearly everyone in this bar." Ethan pointed out.

"We both have a sense of humor." She added.

"Once again, many here have one." He said, a tad impatiently.

Chris looked up at him. "Tobias and I have one more thing in common that I don't have with anyone here."

Ethan quirked an eyebrow in question.

"We both somehow manage to get under your skin faster than anyone else."

Before Ethan could respond to that, she paid for the drink that was set in front of him and began to edge her way back to her table.

"Chris!" He grasped her arm to stop her. "Wait a second."

She glared at his back as he pulled her towards the dark hallway where Reggie's office was. The owner's private room was behind a cleverly hidden panel that Ethan, Chris, and a few others had been given special access to.

"What do you want, Ethan?" She asked, once she shut the office door.

The desk lamp was the only light source and cast the room in shadows. Ethan's eyes had an almost glow to them as he stared at her. The room was a little larger than a typical book room, yet with the intense way he was looking at her, she felt the space shrink. Chris could only recall one other time he'd ever looked at her the way he was doing so in the dim light.

Miami.

Before she could blink, she found herself trapped between the door and Ethan's body. His lips crashed against hers, drawing a startled moan from her. Her body automatically arched against his as if determined to feel every inch of him.

She clutched him close, returning every bit of his kiss. When his mouth moved down her neck, she breathlessly asked him what this meant.

"I thought," she gasped when he kissed her once more, "I thought you said we couldn't be together because you're still my--"

"I know." His breaths were coming in and out quickly. "I still think that it is more complicated than either of us realize."

His hooded blue gaze held her gray eyes.

"I didn't want to fight against it anymore." Ethan admitted.

Chris's head dropped back against the door as she tried to control her racing heart. It was hard to think clearly with him not only this close, but also with his hands and mouth still caressing her.

"Ethan?" She whispered, closing her eyes. "What do you want from me?"

"You already know the answer to that." He kissed her once more, silencing any other questions she might have.

She did know. She also knew why this might not be such a good idea. If she didn't know his arguments by heart now, she never would. She understood he was still allowing his moral code over her career to keep him from fully committing to her.

The question was: could she continue to exist with him in this gray area of love?

Chris knew if he'd say the word, she'd commit to him without a second thought. Once he allowed it, she'd love him with every piece of her heart.

But he wouldn't say it. He wouldn't allow the chance to happen. He couldn't let them finally be together, out in the open, in every single way.

Even if he'd suggested they be together in secret, exclusively and on a regular basis, she'd give herself to him without a second thought while she worked out a way to make it so in their world.

And yet here they were again, giving into temptation, without any hope for the future.

"We should," she cursed herself for her voice shaking, "we should get back before anyone notices we're gone."

"You're right." He stepped away, his fingers caressing her cheek.

She opened the door and glanced back at him. "Would you like to talk about us later tonight? Maybe drive me home?"

His visible hesitation made her heart clinch.

Deciding she didn't want to hear his answer, she hurried back into the bar.

[findingtarshish]

4 and 21 for the ask game? Also I just noticed in your bio it says you're studying library science that's so cool what the fuck <- fan of libraries who just learned more about library science via a museum conservation internship

4. What kind of music do your OCs listen to?

Hmmmm Well there's too many to answer for all of them so I'll provide a sampling of the ones I'm most normal about right now: Dahlia: Heavy Metal, but only during workouts Sulaya: doesn't really listen to music, but sings on occasion, mostly religious music of her people's faith. Harmony: Soft orchestral and classical

21. When did you start considering yourself a writer/artist?

There's actually an interesting story here. Wayyyy back when I was in the BSA (Big mistake, don't do that). I dodged all the REALLY bad shit happening in that org in those years, but I was defeated by my nemesis poor safety considerations, and ended up with a torn hip flexor Due to a variety of incompetent doctors who told me it was growing pains, I was stuck with this all through high school. So, no PE. I instead was sent to the library for a study hall, which I sure as hell was not going to use for homework, so I started writing! Every day, working away on my lil funny story, and that eventually became the larger narrative structure for all the ocs I have today. So weirdly, I owe it all to the Boy Scouts messing me up on the appalachian trail by overweighing my pack. And finally, yeah! I actually worked at the university library before I graduated, working on a transcription of an old recipe manuscript for special collections! I'm doing a thing with them this summer so if you stop by the special collections gallery, you can see some of my handiwork on display!

[bananasolid]

Best rts games 2017 on google play

Best rts games 2017 on google play how to#

You have to go through the levels, perform small puzzles, avoid enemies and complete the objectives. This game was created in celebration of the 50th anniversary of the creation of the series, back in 2013, and features all the different versions of the Doctor. Doctor WhoĪmong the Google Doodle games, there’s one perfect for fans of the Doctor Who series. If you want to know more about this game, just follow this link. The objective is to see the distance you can get with each one, as they all have their characteristics. You have several types of gnomes and you can throw them around the garden. In celebration of Garden Day in Germany, Doodle this time brought us a very fun game involving the gnomes that are on the lawn. If you’re curious to find out more, you just need to go to this Google Doodle link! 8. The concept is super interesting and makes the game a lot of fun. It puts you to control a bunny’s movements through basic programming concepts. To celebrate 50 years of programming for kids, Google made one of the most fun Google Doodle games in 2017. If you found it interesting, check out the link. Although the controls are limited, you can have a lot of fun. You can select any of the available discs to make your own combinations. It lets you be the DJ of the day, as there are some of the records used in the birth of this musical style that you can use in your beats. In 2017, Google decided to celebrate 44 years of the creation of Hip Hop with a really cool Doodle. If you think you’d like to try it, follow this link. The tricky thing is that they can appear in packs and have more than one symbol needed for their defeat.

Best rts games 2017 on google play how to#

Each ghost has its symbols on top of its head, so it’s easy to know how to defeat them. The only way to defeat them is to draw symbols with your mouse or finger on the screen, which creates the wand attack spells. The challenge is that he is constantly being attacked by ghosts. It puts you in control of a cat that can perform spells using its magic wand. Halloween CatĪs for Halloween 2016, Google decided to make an original and super fun game. If you want to try your luck, just click on the link. It is possible to move sideways and jump to dodge the balls kicked into the air. In this game, you act as the team’s goalkeeper and need to prevent any goals from being scored. Soccer also got its own fun browser game. Of course, Basketball wasn’t the only sport to be honored during the Olympics games with a Google Doodle. If you want to play, check out more on this Doodle link. You can choose how hard the ball will be played and take that distance into account. The cool thing is that the distance between the player and the basket changes, so you need to plan your moves carefully. The chosen one was basketball, with the game giving you several balls to try to score points from the basket. When the 2012 Olympics kicked off, Google thought it was a good idea to dedicate one of its Doodles to one of the sports. If you’re ready to spend a few minutes with this Doodle, just check out the link. It’s a lot of fun, but it will still be a challenge for those who still don’t know exactly the easy way to solve such a cube. As you can imagine, this Doodle gives you access to a virtual cube that you can try to solve using the mouse or touching the screen. If you’re interested, you can see if you can try to get the highest score possible by accessing the Doodle at the link.Īnother interesting birthday celebration was the 40th anniversary of the invention of the Rubik’s Cube in 2014. Made in celebration of the 30th anniversary of Pac-Man’s release, this game is simply a re-creation of the classic game.īasically, you can play Pac-Man in your browser at will using just the arrow keys on your keyboard. To start our list, we have a Google Doodle that we’re sure anyone would enjoy.

[traveler-at-heart]

Spy Kids

Summary: A sort of sequel to “Oy with the rookies already”. Maria asks you to train Kamala and America.

Natasha Romannof x Super Soldier Fem!Reader A/N: Mentions of blood, some violence, Reader being a babysitter (lol). And, so much damn fluff. -

It must be a mistake

“Questions?” Maria says, hands on her desk. She’s smiling as if she didn’t just give you the worst news possible.

“Yeah, just one. What the fuck?”

“Agent…”

“Maria! You want me to run a summer spy camp for two teenagers”

“No. I want you to train two enhanced individuals to make sure they are safe” you hold her stare and she gives up. “And also evaluate if they’d be good assets for the Avengers initiative”

“Oh, so now we’re collecting them like baseball cards?”

“We need to know their abilities. And make sure they can at least be safe on their own, if they don’t want to join us” 

“Isn’t one of them the founding member of the Carol Danvers fan club? Of course they’re going to join the Avengers if you ask”

“I’d still like to know what they can do. And given your success with Agents Belova and Bishop…”

Damn it. Who knew that would come back and bite you in the ass.

You think of all the plans you had for the summer. For the first time in years, it seemed like you’d have time off. Until now.

“And if I say no?”

“No one else has the time or capacity to do it” Maria shrugs her shoulders. “Don’t worry, I’m sure a 15 year old with powers and no training can hold her own.”

“Ugh. Fine” you snatch the file from her hands. 

You just hope this time you don’t actually have a heart attack.

*

Natasha took the news surprisingly well. She thought it was cute that you were the designated babysitter for the summer. 

“It’s good practice for when we have our own kids” she had casually mentioned, making you blush furiously.

She couldn’t possibly know…

You put those thoughts aside, plastering a smile on your face as soon as Kamala Khan walked to the foyer of the Avengers Compound… followed by an endless line of grown ups.

Relatives, perhaps?

“Will you be in charge of my beta?” a short woman approaches you. You’re at least one foot taller than her, but her gaze makes you feel small.

“Mom” Kamala hisses and then turns to you. “Hi. Sorry, I’m Kamala and this is my mother, my father, my brother, his wife and my friend Bruno” 

“Well, nice to meet you all” you think of a way to politely remind them only Kamala can stay, but her mother pokes your side again.

“Listen closely. She will go to bed at a reasonable hour, will eat her vegetables and make sure you respect prayer hours. And no boys. Nod if you understand” 

“I…” she raises her eyebrows and you shut your mouth, moving your head up and down. Before she can give you a new set of rules, a portal opens behind you.

“Alright, kid” Stephen Strange says, allowing America to go through the portal. He looks at you and gives a short nod. “Y/N. I trust everything will be going smoothly”

“Is this the Harry Potter man you mentioned?” Kamala’s mother points at him.

“Mom! That’s Doctor Strange” 

“And I’m America Chavez” the girl offers her hand and you smile. Every member of Kamala’s family goes to introduce themselves and you end up tangled in a sea of names and waves.

“Alright!” you say, a little hysterical. “This is getting crowded. Say your goodbyes and follow me for a tour of the place and some quick team intros”

Everyone finally leaves and the two teenagers follow you, giggling excitedly. 

Yeap, you’re definitely the nanny.

*

“Fighting stance” you say, stretching your limbs with a satisfied smile. Kamala raises one of her legs, like the dude from Karate Kid. With a simple push of your hand, she falls to the ground. “Congrats, you’ve been successfully kidnapped or killed. Whatever you want for this scenario”

“I’d prefer neither” she grumbles, standing up.

“Chavez?” you turn to the other girl. Her fighting pose is better, but you dodge her fist easily. Two more movements and she’s down on the floor.

“Alright. We’ll work on some basic balance and defense moves. Once we do that, you’ll teach me how you actually use some of your abilities and incorporate them to combat” 

“Oh! Are we going to learn to use weapons?” Kamala asks excitedly. 

“Absolutely… not. Let’s get to work, kiddos” 

Two hours later and at least they’ve learned to duck when you throw a punch. When Natasha finally enters the gym, she finds you with your hands behind your back, counting the number of reps the girls are doing

“At ease, soldier” she chuckles, her chin resting on your shoulder.

“Hey, baby” you turn around, happy to see she’s back from her mission with Kate and Yelena. “How was the Rocket Team?”

“Blasting off at the speed of light, as usual” Natasha wraps her arms around your shoulders and you melt at the proximity. 

“Yeah, well, prepare for trouble and make it quadruple” you sigh, turning back to the girls who are still doing push ups.

“You’re not playing mean with them, are you?” Natasha tsks and you actually feel bad. “They’re just kids, detka. Play nice”

“Yes, love”

She pecks your lips before stepping back and you want to whine at the loss of contact. 

“I think you’ve had enough for a day” the Russian speaks to the two girls and they stand up, eyes wide.

“Yes, Agent Romanoff” America pushes the words out and Kamala catches the last part, echoing the words.

“Call me Natasha” the redhead winks and then turns to speak to you, loud and clear. “Catch you later, honey pie”

Blushing at her words, you look back at your new trainees. 

“Only she can call me that, understood?”

“Yes, Ma'am,” Kamala mock salutes and you smile. 

*

“I’m not sure this is what Maria had in mind” Natasha admonishes, but still smiles, leaning on her outdoor chair. 

“Well, all I wanted to do this summer was relax so we’ll just have to compromise, won’t we?” 

You’re both sitting outside, a cooler with beers and a plate of guacamole on a table between you. Natasha sighs and stretches her arms.

“The sky’s very pretty today” she peers up, her beautiful green eyes shielded by a pair of sunglasses. 

“Very pretty, indeed” you agree, looking at her legs. You love it when she wears shorts. 

“Eyes up here” 

You both laugh, until a figure covers the sun on your side.

“Hey, Hill” you say with a cheeky grin. Her all black outfit is a very stark contrast to yours and Natasha’s shorts and tank tops.

“Just wanted to check how Chavez and Khan are doing but I see you’re taking it easy”

“They needed resistance training and I wanted some time with my girl” you smile. “It’s a beautiful day out, so why not do both?”

“Right, where are they?” the woman looks around, trying to find the girls. You pull out your phone and unlock the screen.

“They’re currently at… yeah, they’re finishing their second lap around the Compound. I set an obstacle course and all they have to do is get through it. See? Easy” your smile fades as soon as you see the girls coming back, looking like they’re about to pass out. Well, shit. Trying to distract Maria, you call her out again. “Hey, have some guac”

“No, that’s ok” 

“I insist” 

“It’s really good” Natasha chimes in, trying to control her laughter.

“Fine, weirdos” Maria grumbles, taking a chip and then dipping it in the guacamole. Her eyes are wide open when she tastes it. “Holy crap! This is really good!”

“Told ya” you smirk, frantically signaling for the girls to sneak behind, back to their rooms. 

You exhale when they’re both out of sight, plopping back down on your chair. Natasha squeezes your shoulder, chuckling.

Ok, maybe you’d go a bit easier on them starting now.

*

All you bring back to the kitchen is the cooler with the empty bottles, since Maria decided to steal your plate. 

Kamala is sitting at the kitchen island, facetiming her mother. 

“I gotta go” she rushes to hang up as soon as you walk in.

“No, don’t stop on my account. Your mom will think I’m keeping you locked up” 

“That’s ok, she can be overprotective sometimes” the girl rolls her eyes, but you can tell it comes from a place of love.

“Nothing wrong with that. It’s sweet” 

“Not when you’re sixteen” Kamala laughs and you sigh.

“Boy, I was sixteen such a long time ago” you remember the music and the outfits with a distant smile.

“You’re like 30” Kamala says, confused and you snort.

“I’m a super soldier. Our aging process is a bit… slower” you explain and her eyes widen. 

“Sorry, I forgot for a second”

“No worries” you clean around, making sure everything’s in place or you’ll never hear the end of it from Grandpa Steve. 

After a few seconds, you feel the girl staring at the scars in your arm and legs, usually covered by your suit or everyday clothes.

“I didn’t mean to…”

“Kamala. It’s ok” you sigh. “Listen, a lot of the people here didn’t get to choose this life. We were forced into powers or skills we didn’t want. And it’s a lot to carry, but we try as best we can. Remember you have the chance to decide, ok? I don’t want anyone taking that away from you or America” 

“Thank you” 

You nod, feeling a bit exposed. You’re usually much more guarded around people you just met. 

“Right, see you later for movie night?” you’re definitely not expecting Kamala’s squeal of joy. She runs back to her room, asking if she can pick the movie and wondering if there’s enough candy in the Compound.

“Movie night? Why am I not invited?” Yelena says, her accent thicker than usual.

“You’re always invited, little widow”

“Great! I’ll bring the vodka” she struts down the hall.

“They’re underage, Yelena!” 

“That’s ok, I’m not sharing”

*

Later that night you find Yelena, Kate, America and Kamala sitting on the floor, giggling. You squint your eyes at the cups they’re holding.

“What is that?” you point to the two teenagers, eyes trained on Yelena.

“It’s soda. Gosh, you’re such a panty pooper”

“It’s party pooper, Yelena” you pinch the bridge of your nose. “And I am not”

“You can be” Natasha joins, kissing your cheek and smiling. She looks at the group. “Are we expecting anyone else?” 

“No, Sam is visiting his sister, Steve and Bucky left on a mission” 

“Girls night!” Kate and Yelena shout at the same time. 

The next minutes are a blur of screams to coordinate the rest of the evening.

“I wish they were this effective for mission planning” you say, amazed. Girls night includes a lot of snacks, face masks, makeovers and in the end, an improvised race.

Kamala has created a sort of sliding board with her powers and now they are all taking turns going down the hill around the Compound’s green area. 

“Are you sure you want kids? Seems like we already have enough children under our care” you say, looking at Yelena and Kate roll around in the grass after jumping from the board.

“Yes. I want to see you change diapers and read bedtime stories” Natasha says, leaning against you.

Kissing her temple, you go back to watching the girls. Now the four of them have climbed on the pink and purple board, hoping it will take their combined weight.

“Be careful” you plead. Natasha pinches your side, but a minute later you’re proven right. The group slides down at full speed, on their way to hitting a tree. 

“I got this!” America shouts, opening up a portal… that leads right behind you and Natasha.

“Shit!” you cover Natasha with your body, her back on the ground. Four bodies fall on top of you, but you hold yourself up to not trap Natasha. “Everyone ok?”

“Yes”

“Great, now get off my back. Pronto” little by little, the weight you carry diminishes. Yelena is the last one to stand and you’re about to get up, when Natasha pulls you against her.

“Not so fast” she smirks as you land between her legs. Natasha takes advantage of your surprised gasp, meeting your lips in an open mouthed kiss. 

“Baby” you moan against her neck, caressing the leg that is wrapped around your waist.

“Sooo gross, ugh” Yelena runs in the opposite direction, followed by the rest of the group.

You laugh against Natasha’s lips, happy that she’s always with you to make everything better.

*

“Clear” Kamala says, opening the door to one of the rooms. 

“Wrong” you appear behind the door, shooting her with a Nerf gun. “One down. One to go” you turn to America but she’s faster than you expect, opening up a portal so the dart you shoot ends up hitting Kamala again.

“Dude!”

“I’m sorry” 

“Ok, you can take a break. And then we’ll keep practicing until I’m out of darts. But hey… you’re both doing great, ok?” you encourage and the girls nod. You’re taking what Natasha said at heart and you are trying to be nicer.

When they get to the kitchen, they find a distressed Natasha.

“Is everything ok?” America is the first to speak, expecting a national security crisis.

“Oh, yeah. I just forgot a couple of things from the grocery store. Silly me” 

“We could go if you’d like” Kamala offers.

“No, you’re busy training”

“Y/N gave us a break… and we’ll be fine. We have powers. And I’ve traveled through dimensions. What’s a trip to the grocery store?” America insists and Natasha smiles.

“Well, alright then”

The girls are giddy with excitement. They obviously take a little detour to grab ice cream, chatting as they reach the grocery store. 

America adds a couple of snacks that were definitely not on the list and just as they’re arguing over which M&M’s are better, another voice chimes in.

“I think we should get both” you say and Kamala nods in your direction.

“Y/N is riii… what are you doing here?” 

“Oh, I’ve been following you since you left the Compound. Not once did you notice my presence” you smile, leaning against the shelf.

“Have we failed all tests?” 

“Relax, you’ve been training for two weeks. It’s a process. Now hurry up so we can go back in time for dinner” you wink at them and they smile.

“About the M&Ms?” America grimaces and you roll your eyes.

“Bring both, but don’t tell Kate, because I always make her choose”

And yeah, you were testing them but maybe, just maybe, you wanted to make sure they were safe as well. 

*

Kate and Yelena are actually great teachers. You smile as they teach America and Kamala some of their own moves. 

“That’s good, yes America Chavez” Yelena compliments and the girl smiles.

“Why, thank you, Yelena Belova”

You let them go on for another half hour, until you look at your clock. There’s something you need to pick up before the shop closes.

“Alright, cardio and then hit the showers, stinky minions” you say and the girls laugh.

“That would make you Gru” Yelena points out and you show her your tongue.

“I just need to drink some water” Kamala asks, reaching for her bottle. She spits a second later, coughing. “Oh, my God, this is definitely not water”

“Sorry, that’s mine” Yelena says sheepishly. 

“Nice, vodka for training. You ok, Double K?”

“Double K? We never got cool nicknames” Kate whispers.

“Am I drunk?” the girl yell whispers and you chuckle.

“No, you’d need a lot more than that… don’t tell your mom, though. She’ll kill me” 

“Let’s get you up” America offers her hand. You’re about to say something else when Maria walks into the gym, a grim look on her face.

“Agent Y/LN. There’s an urgent mission” she says and you sigh. Yelena’s head snaps up.

Lately, you only go on missions if it’s really bad.

“You can read the report on your way there” Maria says.

“That bad, huh?” 

She confirms with a nod and you sigh. 

“Hey, Yelena? I need to ask for a favor” you say with urgency and she nods.

“You’ll be back soon, right?” Kamala seems alarmed, but you smile.

“Yeah, no worries. I’ll be back in a day or two, kiddo”

The girls nod, but Yelena knows better.

Still, you wish for it to be true. 

*

Two days turned into six.

By the time it was all done, you were operating automatically, trying to lock away everything that happened somewhere very deep down your mind. A place where all the terrible memories lived.

You could have gone to the Compound directly, but you didn’t want the girls to see you like this.

Unsurprisingly, Natasha had anticipated this and was waiting at the safe house. When you first opened the door and your eyes met green ones, clouded by concern and fear, you wanted to turn back and run away.

But you had promised each other to be open. And trust.

So you trusted, stepping inside the small house.

“You’re…” she says, her voice small.

“It’s not my blood. I’m gonna get cleaned up. Ok?”

“Ok”

The suit stays on as you turn on the shower. You stand there for twenty minutes, watching as the blood and the dirt get washed away.

“Detka. The water is cold. Come here” she pleads, removing your clothes and trying to get you to snap back.

Hours go by.

Everything comes back as you look down at your clean hands, a stark contrast to the mess they were before.

They’ll never be clean.

You cry and hold on to Natasha. She’s the only one that understands.

“I don’t ever want them to feel like this” you whisper into her hair and she knows what you mean.

The next morning, you go straight to Maria’s office.

“I don’t need a debriefing now” she says, her voice soft.

“The summer camp, whatever the hell you called it. Stops now. I won’t actively encourage them to go through this”

“You saved an entire city” Maria reminds you.

“A family… didn’t make it. You know that”

“So you’d rather not save anyone at all?” she questions you. “Hell, even if you don’t train them anymore they could ask to be in the team when they grow up”

“It stops. I’m out”

You both stare at each other for a minute, and you know she’s sizing how serious you are. Maria sighs defeated. There is no middle ground, not anymore.

“Fine. But you’re telling them”

“Ok” 

Yelena finds you in the hallway.

“You ok?” she squeezes your arm and the gentleness of her voice makes you want to cry, so you only nod, looking down. “It’s safe in my room, for when you need it, ok, seestra?”

Oh, shit.

“I completely forgot”

“Come find me later and we’ll think of something. But you should really get to the kitchen now, yes? Eat something. Papa says it’s good for you”

“Thank you” you pinch her cheek and the playful move makes her smile, comforted at seeing you joking.

There’s another surprise waiting for you in the kitchen. Kamala, America and Kate are cooking breakfast; they turn around and their smiles are bright at the sight of you.

Now you understand why Maria asked you to tell them.

Damn her.

“Hey, kiddos” you approach slowly. Natasha eyes you curiously, sipping her coffee and reading the paper. She’s the only one that knows about your talk with Maria.

“We missed you. And thought you’d like some breakfast” Kate smiles.

“We have chocolate chip pancakes, scrambled eggs with bacon…”

“I made carrot pudding. It’s kind of like a comfort food for me” Kamala explains shyly.

You’re pretty certain you’re about to cry so instead, you drag the three of them to your arms and hug them.

“Oh, wow, she’s really strong” America says, struggling to breath.

“We need air, soldier” Kate pleads and you let them go. 

“Hey, let’s fly the Quinjet today” you propose and the teenagers squeal.

“Really?” 

“Yeah, it’ll be fun. But don’t throw up or anything” you grimace at the thought. 

“Can I be copilot?” Kate says, pretending she’s cool if you say no, but you nod and she dabs. “Yes” 

You roll your eyes, going to sit next to your girlfriend. You bring her hand to your lips, a silent thank you for taking care of you.

“Are you going soft?” she whispers and you chuckle.

“Maybe. Don’t tell anyone, though” 

“Your secret is safe with me”

*

Choosing to inform Maria the training will continue over text is better. You know how smug she gets when she’s proven right.

Later that day, you find Yelena at the gym, the rest of the team training as well.

“Troops, I’m calling for a meeting”

Kate, Yelena, Kamala and America gather around you. 

“I have a mission for you” 

*

It’s a beautiful day outside, and a perfect excuse to drag Natasha to Central Park Zoo along Yelena, Laura and the Barton bunch. 

Steve, Sam and Bucky are carrying some of the tables while Kate and America hang the fairy lights around the trees. 

“Looking good” you give them a thumbs up and walk over to Tony, setting up the last of the mini golf course. “Everything good, Stark?”

“Mechanism should be ready” he points at the little course, four separate roads leading to four holes. “Each time Red gets a ball inside a sign will turn”

“Signs are almost ready!” Kamala interjects, working her design magic. 

“You nervous?” Tony slaps your shoulder and you nod.

“Well, it’s only one of the most important moments of my life” 

“Don’t worry, we’ll all be watching from inside, cheering for you. And judging you if you screw up”

“Nice, Stark” you roll your eyes but smile.

By the time Natasha’s back, everything is ready and you steady your breathing, acting as if it’s just another afternoon.

“How was the zoo?” you greet when she walks into your shared room.

“Yelena tried to steal a penguin” 

“So, the usual” 

“I’m really sorry, detka. I wanted to stay with you today but Lila and Cooper gave me those puppy eyes”

“It’s fine. Got some work done. Want to take a walk around? It’s still nice outside”

Natasha eyes you a bit intrigued but agrees, so you go out after taking a quick shower. You offer your hand, leading her to the front entrance, away from the setting. There are a few things you need to say before you get there.

“Remember our first date?” you finally speak and she laughs.

“I remember how you asked me”

“Oh, yeah” you snort, blushing at how bad that was.

“We’d barely made it out of that Hydra base, battered and bruised”

“And I asked what was the one thing you always wanted to do but never got around to doing” you reminisce.

“I said playing mini golf. And you…”

“I said all I ever wanted was to ask you out on a date”

“As if it was so scary” Natasha rolled her eyes.

“It was at the time. Trusting someone, opening up. Love. But you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me” 

“Stop” she blushes and you laugh.

“There’s something I want you to see”

You finally reach the spot and it looks amazing with the lights on. The little mini golf set up is on. You look up, the entire Avengers team eagerly waiting by the window.

“What’s this?” Natasha says, looking around. Then her eyes land on you and you shuffle, anxiously. “You are going soft”

“Oh, well. Now, come on. I want you to play”

“Mini golf with a trained spy? My aim is impeccable, you know”

“Especially when you’re pissed. But you’re not now, are you?”

“No, just very happy” she pecks your lips and you blush. “Alright, watch me beat your super soldier ass, babe” 

“Oh, nice one, Tasha” 

Natasha chuckles, hitting the first ball. It ends up going to the last hole. A sign turns around.

Me?

Another ball goes, hitting the second hole. 

You

“You, Me?” Natasha reads, trying to make sense of it. Fortunately, she hits the first hole and there’s a new sign.

Will you ___ me?

“Baby”, she turns around, her arms going around your neck. “All of this to ask me to fuck you?”

“What?”

“Will you fuck me? Such a romantic” she chuckles against your lips.

“Stop being a smartass and finish the game, Romanoff. There’s one more sign to go”

“I love you” she whispers against your lips. 

She knows what you’re about to ask, that’s for sure. But you let her finish the game anyway, kneeling when the last sign turns.

“Will you marry me?” you ask, and this is the most terrifying thing you’ve ever done. You hold the ring Yelena kept safe before you left for that last mission. 

“Of course I will” Natasha answers, breathlessly.

Your hands are shaking when you slip the ring down her finger and she smiles, admiring it. 

“I love you” you pick her up, kissing her, hoping she understands she’s your entire world.

Everyone joins you then, congratulations going around. You pretend you don’t see Kamala and America toasting with that very expensive champagne Tony brought.

Natasha is showing the ring to Laura and Lila, speaking about how she had no idea you were all planning this.

“Is that why you tried to steal the penguin?” Kamala chimes in.

“Uh… sure” Yelena nods unconvincingly.

You roll your eyes, as the team keeps celebrating with food and drinks.

“Glad you made it” you greet Maria, who is once again enchanted by your magic guacamole.

“So this is what you were planning on doing with your summer? I would have totally understood, Y/N”

“Don’t worry about it. It ended up being perfect” you say, turning to the girls. Apparently, this is the first time they’ve met Peter and America is asking for proof that he doesn’t shoot webs out of his butt.

“They have a long way to go, don’t they?” Maria smiles.

“Yes. But I’ll be there every step of the way. And maybe, the world will be a lot kinder to them”

The rest of the night feels like something out of a dream.

Natasha Romanoff will be your wife.

Before the Bartons leave, Tony sets the helmet at one of the tables, programming it to take a picture. 

“Family photo” he announces and everyone gathers around. 

“America, Kamala, get over here, quick” you ask, pointing to the spot next to you. The girls beam, hugging each other.

“At the count of three, I want everyone to say…” Tony instructs and you all laugh.

“Assemble!”

[charliedawn]

Mission Socializing (Warning : thought of suicide! You have been warned.)

It is New Year's Eve and the slashers want to thank you for having organized a Christmas party for them. They call it : Mission Socializing. You decide to go and are welcomed by a very colorfully decorated room with a few people inside, the whole department in fact..You immediately spot Amita among the guests that waves at you to come join her.

" Hi ! Thought you would still be in bed..You know, like a complete lonely weirdo.."

She jokes and you punch her arm playfully before taking the glass of champagne that she gives you.

" Oh, shush you ! Not everyone has the time to party all the time..Besides, I am here, aren't I ?"

She nods appreciatively.

" That you are.."

Suddenly her eyes catch a little woman that is trying to make her way through the crowd.

" Talking about lonely weirdo..Looks like one of your kind is heading this way. I think this is my cue to leave.."

You don't have the time to stop her that the woman raises her fist, as if in a sort of salute.

" Hi ! Boss lady ! Or is it Mrs Boss ?! Lady Boss ?! I salute you !"

She greets you and you can't help but smile before replying.

" And I salute you too, Mrs Cortez.."

You had read everyone's file, especially of those who had spent the most time with slashers without having a problem. Mrs Cortez is one of them. She has been a nurse here for 3 years, and none of the slashers have ever tried to physically or mentally harm her. However, when you had asked the slashers about it, they had simply replied with a small smile or a look of horror..So, everything could be possible. But, you had not envisioned the woman to be one of small stature and wearing an Hello Kitty t-shirt and vibrant pink boots..You then notice that she still has her fist raised and decide to bump it. She finally lets out a relieved sigh before letting her arm go down.

" Thank god ! You're nice ! I was so nervous about meeting you, wondering if you were strict like the old one, but I can already tell that you're totes cool !"

You awkwardly smile at her before nodding in acknowledgement.

" Hum..Thank you ?"

She smiles widely before suddenly taking you in her arms and tightening her hold until you can't feel your waist anymore.

" You and I are gonna be friends, I can tell !"

You smile through the pain before nodding again and giving her a small pat on the head as a response to the very straightforward gesture.

" I'm sure, miss C.."

" Eva ! You can call me Eva !"

She cuts you off and looks up at you with stars in her eyes. In some way, she is curiously endearing. You find yourself thinking and are about to ask her to..well..let you go when someone else comes to your rescue.

" Miss Cortez, I would advise you not to crush our new boss with your overbearing affective bear hugs. We need her to last a bit longer than the other one, right ?"

Eva quickly steps away to turn towards the blond man that had just spoken and raises her arms to hug him as well.

" Dr Wilson !"

She announces him while literally jumping on him, but the doctor succeeds in dodging her. She lands on a nearby couch and the doctor applies pressure on a very precise spot in her neck that makes her sleep instantly. You ark an eyebrow at Dr Wilson that gives you a small knowing smirk.

" Force of habit..Don't worry. You'll get used to it as well."

He then gives you his hand to shake.

" I am Dr Victor Wilson. It is a pleasure to meet you. I'm the coroner of St Louis."

You give him a small smile before shaking his hand.

" Y/N L/N. Pleasure to meet you as well."

You then give a circular look around the room. There are at least 30 people staring at you, and you couldn't bare having all of them trying to shake your hand..The doctor seems to notice and chuckles at your little fanclub before lifting his hand for you to take.

" Let me guess..Not a fan of parties, huh ? Well, I am a gentleman, and gentlemen usually save damsels in distress..So, I saw that Five has generously offered a few of his very expensive bottles for the occasion..Mind having a drink with me ?"

You give another glance around to see Amita already talking to one of the male nurses. You sigh before giving the man a smile of agreement and taking his hand.

" Lead the way."

A couple of hours later :

" I'm totally wasted.."

Dr Wilson confesses while staring at his third drink, or is it his fourth ? He can't remember..But, you're not that good either. You look at the spinning room and can't control the fit of laughter that threatens to spill out of your mouth when you also admit.

" Me too.."

You don't even know why you're laughing, but you both end up doubled in laughter anyway, making all of the other guests turn towards you with widened eyes. But, in all honesty ? You don't care. You intend to enjoy this moment. However, you suddenly hear a few gasps and turn around to see..Jason ?! Jason looks at his shoes sheepishly and glances up a few times before raising his hand to wave shyly.

" Hi.."

He mumbles. Nobody answers and even the music stops. You are about to go save him when somebody else takes care of it. Ella wakes up and automatically raises her hands excitedly when she spots Jason.

" Jason ! Remember me ?! We talked at the Halloween party !"

When Jason nods sheepishly, she doesn't waste any time before hugging the shy slasher.

" Do you want to dance ?!"

Jason looks up at you, as if for you to get him out of his current situation, but you only smile, amused, and raise your glass.

" Go on, Jason ! Have fun !"

He looks at Ella that leads him by the arms to dance, they move right and left in rhythm with the music. You can see that Jason is having fun and smile, relieved to see that the sudden silence hadn't been a permanent veil over his good mood.

However, you didn't count on Amita to get out her phone and say.

" I'm gonna upload this sh*t to YouTube !"

You can tell that she's as drunk as you and doesn't know what she's doing. You stand up to stop her, but can't seem to be able to walk straight. You fall head first into someone else that helps you to get up.

" Are you okay, my child ?"

You look up with widened eyes at..a priest ?! He gives you a small sympathetic smile before helping you to stand up. He looks at Amita and takes her phone, ignoring her protests before deleting the picture.

" This is a place of healing, miss Williams. The patients' location must not be revealed at all costs. I would advise you to not do that again."

He says firmly and even Amita is speechless. He then gives you a glass of water and helps you to sit down in a nearby chair.

" W..Who are you ?"

You ask, lost and confused. The priest gives you a small smile before answering you.

" I am father Cornelius. St Louis' priest. I wanted to thank you for having Pennywise help me with the graves this year..My senses tell me they will be useful."

You blush in embarrassment at the fact that you hadn't even thought about asking who Pennywise was working for at the time. It just dawns on you now that there is an actual priest at St Louis and you admit with an apologetic smile.

" Sorry. I wasn't even aware of your existence until tonight."

However, unlike what you had previously thought, the priest doesn't seem offended, he just chuckles in mild amusement.

" I don't blame you. I'm mostly here for the employees, since most of them know that they may perish between those walls..But, I wanted to thank you, miss Y/N. Since you've arrived, I receive less and less people."

You ark an eyebrow at that.

" But, isn't it a bad thing ? For you, I mean ?"

He lets out a small laugh before shaking his head negatively.

" Believe me when I say that I didn't apply for the post to only make last absolutions or bury bodies."

You nod understandingly while looking downwards, staring at the ground when you reply in affirmation.

" I imagine."

You look up to stare at Jason that looks like he's having fun dancing and laughing. But then, a shiver runs through your spine at the idea that Jason is still the Crystal Lake killer. The priest is right. How many people were killed by his hand ? How many would have been if he hadn't been arrested and brought to the hospital ? The answer is self-evident. It pains you, but your hazy mind still manages to conclude: hundreds, thousands..This is why, even though Jason is one of the sweetest of the slashers..You have to remember that he is as dangerous as they are. You don't hear Jason arrive behind you, and when he pats your shoulder, you can't help but turn around and instinctively slap him. The consequence of your action only dawns on you when a heavy silence falls around you and you see Jason's shocked expression, holding his stinging cheek with tearful eyes.

" J..Jason. Wait. I'm sorry."

You stammer apologetically, but it's too late, the damage is done. You approach him to look at his face, but he takes your wrist and almost breaks it in his hold. His breathing is uneven and he glares up at you with such intensity that it stops yours for a moment. Suddenly, some armed guards surround you and before you could explain the situation, Jason releases you and looks away with betrayal in his eyes as he is led outside.

You want to grab him, but he is taken away and you don't dare go after him..Maybe, it is for the best ? A little voice says in your head.

In his cell :

" Let me guess ? She got scared."

Jason doesn't need to look up to recognize the owner of the voice. Freddy.

" I told you, kid..Monsters like us don't get to be happy with angels like her..This is why I need to know, are you in or not ?"

Jason closes his eyes, a few tears running down his cheeks as he finally nods. If you couldn't accept him, then why would he stay ?

" I'm sorry, Jason..But, maybe it is for the best ?"

Jason looks up in shock at Freddy that only smiles sadly at him. For the first time, Freddy used his name in a sentence that didn't involve mockery. Not a nickname or an insult. His name. He should be happy, but he can't help but feel his heart tighten as he realizes that even his worst friend takes pity on him. Jason waits until Freddy is gone before standing up and screaming so loud that he is sure all of the hospital must have heard him. He then punches the wall repeatedly until his hands are bloody. He really thought he could change, that he could become a better person..He looks up at his reflection in the mirror and punches it so hard that he feels the shards piercing his skin. That's why he hates mirrors, because they remind him of the truth..He looks down at his mask, left on his bed since he thought he was finished with it. He takes it and after a moment of hesitation, puts it back on. He then carefully takes a big piece of glass to look at himself in it.

" Ugly Ugly Jason. You're ugly, but mama loves you..Mama loves you..Mama is the only one who ever did..Come on..You know what you have to do. Come home, Jason.."

He clenches his fist around the shard until it draws blood and looks at his wrist. One swift cut. One way to be with his Mama forever..He wants to do it, but then, he sees your face in his mind and finally throws the fragment in rage that bursts against a wall. He then buries his face in his hands and starts sobbing.

" I'm sorry Mama..I don't have the strength.."

He feels cold arms around his shoulders and a voice whispering tenderly in his ear.

" Don't worry, Jason..Mama will wait for you..Always."

[holykillercake]

Coin Stealer

Trafalgar Law x psychic!Reader

word count: 3.3k

summary: Law does not believe that you can see dead people, so you crochet him the strange-looking beanie of the strange-looking man that walks around the Polar Tang. 

highlight: ¨I´ll give a chance to the uniform, and I´ll only address you as Captain when you behave as Captain.¨

warning: You are entering Trafalgar´s room. 

notes: Bello, ma people! This is the 3/3 part of a lovely anon request in which the s/o makes them a thing with crochet! This time is Dr. Heart Stealer edition!! I really enjoyed writing this, and it got a little long, but I did not want to cut off important things. Anyway, I hope you like it!

𝐋𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬, 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐬, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞!

¨Hey, Bepo! Have you seen Law?¨

¨Y/N! I don´t know where he is... I´m sorry.¨

¨Oh, it´s ok!¨ you patted the mink´s shoulder, giving him a warm smile. 

You were never a big fan of his constant apologetic personality, but you couldn´t deny that you missed it during your time apart from the crew. 

The Heart Pirates had parted ways a long time ago when your Captain decided that the time to put his life-long plan in action had finally come. The crew split into three parts, and each one followed a different path. 

After the sudden disappearance of the Strawhats, the Paramount War, the Rocky Port Incident, and Law obtaining his title as a Warlord of the Sea, you were the first to depart, remaining in Sabaody Archipelago, waiting for the owners of the Thousand Sunny to return. You fought alongside a fishman called Hacchin, a weird guy that reminded you of Black Leg and other allies to protect the ship. 

Next to leave was Law, who sailed to Punk Hazard, where he formed a partnership with a crazy scientist bastard. Then the rest of the crew went on their own towards the island where you would meet once the plan was concluded.

The trajectory was not smooth by any means, but you did it, all of you. And now you feasted along with the Strawhats, celebrating whatever it was that you did not understand. Maybe they were like that, or maybe they didn't understand the risks you would take from now on. 

Anyway, the crew seemed to be in need of some music and fun, and you were too busy looking for your Captain to care about that.

In the midst of the evening breeze, the crackling of the fire, and the barrels of beer crashing in celebration, you saw the answer you were looking for.

Of course.

¨If I didn´t love you...¨ you growled as you made your way out of the island to reach the Polar Tang. And let´s face it, that was a detour.

You went straight to your room, where Law would probably be sipping coffee, napping, or just running from the crowds. And just like you, it has been months since he stepped on his own ship and slept in his own bed. 

So maybe you could cut him some slack. 

However, as you approached the room, there was no smell of coffee. No smell of coffee and no light snoring. Just a stillness carried with heavy emotions and your boyfriend, sitting in the dim light holding tight the crochet piece you gave him years ago. You swayed in place, expecting that thing you made to provoke him to be at the sea bottom.

¨Wondering why I kept this?¨ he asked. 

¨Not really.¨ you replied. ¨But I am surprised. Am I disturbing?¨

¨You never do.¨

You jumped on the bed, sitting beside him and resting your head on his shoulder.

¨YN-ya... do you know how he...¨ the question struggled to come out.

¨Peaceful.¨ 

¨Hm.¨ he nodded.

¨I don´t like when he smiles, though. It creeps me out.¨ His body bounced slightly as he joined you in a chuckle. 

¨Remember when you gave me this?¨

¨Of course, you almost kicked me out of the ship!¨ you giggled with the memory.

¨You were really annoying back then.¨

¨Hey! Objection!¨

¨Objection rebuffed.¨ he smirked and moved on the bed, pulling you to lay down on his chest.

You told him to shut up before cuddling in, not falling asleep immediately. None of you said much. Instead, you enjoyed the calming and comfortable silence of each other´s company. 

It has been a while since you had that. 

You remember every moment of your early days as a Heart Pirate. You and Law hadn´t started on the best terms, but he needed you - well, your skills - and you were given a good deal. 

The pivot of your history together began on a chain of coincidences. The first one being both of you docking on the same island. The second one was him finding a rare coin for his collection, the same one you would later slip into your pocket. 

You wandered around towns using the beautiful art of distraction to get anything you wanted from anyone. Watches, necklaces, wallets, and, well, coins? It was all he had in his pocket, and since it was a cute one, you decided to keep it. 

Some called you a thief. Some called you a burglar, and some may even have called you a big son of a bitch. But the thing they all had in common was that none of them knew exactly who they were calling those names. 

The thing is, you messed up the first rule and made eye contact with him. Well, it was more of you not being able to take your eyes off of him. He stood out in the crowd, and you had gotten cocky. So when he later found out about the missing coin, it did not take him long to connect you to it. 

A lot of things went through his mind. He felt frustrated because his Haki failed him, annoyed for the trouble he would have going after you, and intrigued by the touch so light he did not feel at all. 

Or that is what he kept telling himself. 

Yes, he was interested in someone with skills like yours, but maybe there was something else he would not admit. The way you looked at him as if you had deciphered his entire life and found the missing pieces of his puzzle. Even the ones he tried to hide. 

That night he went out for your head. Or better, your heart, literally. 

You were enjoying the comfort of your hotel room, eating some snacks, and playing with your new commemorative coin when he materialized himself by the bed. You instantly knew something was about to go down.

Oh, fuck.

That situation got pretty tense pretty quickly, both ends asking things, and no one willing to offer any answers. The stakes were high, glares cutting the air like blades. It did not help to ease the mood when in the sway of his hand your heart popped out of your chest. 

Long story short, his plan was never to drag you to the Polar Tang. Law wanted you to go willingly, joining his crew in exchange for your heart. However, the unfortunate variable he did not consider in the equation was that you would not go down without a fight. So by the time he reached the ship, he noticed the gentle fresh breeze ruffling his hair. 

You know, since his hair was usually covered by the hat. 

...

THE FREAKING HAT!

The next morning when he returned, you were waiting for him with a satisfied smirk bending your lips, the hat on your head, and the coin dancing between your fingers. 

At some point, you had stolen it, and once again, it passed unnoticed by him. That was not a good night for the Heart Pirates. And that was also the night Trafalgar Law realized a couple of things. The first, he needed you on his crew. And the second, you were going to be the death of him. Or maybe the aneurysm of him, he would not give you such credit. 

¨You´re late.¨ you said, amused, and his grip tightened around the sword.

¨What´s your name?¨ he repeated the question you dodged several times during your last encounter. 

¨What´s with the dog?¨ you pointed at the tall, white polar bear wearing a uniform. Law pursued his lips, breathing heavily through the nose.  

¨I am B-¨

¨Bepo-ya don´t talk to he-¨

¨Your name is Bepoya?¨ you ignored the man, bumping into his shoulder as you walked towards the mink ¨Hi, I´m Y/N! Nice meeting you.¨  

The polar bear looked back and forth at you and his Captain, not knowing how to behave in this situation, so he apologized and stepped farther back. 

¨Alrighty, now that we are all introduced, shall we go?¨ 

¨What?¨

¨Come on, Law, focus.¨ you snapped your fingers multiple times, teasing him. ¨You came here to pick me up, right?¨

¨No. I want my hat back.¨ He tried to grab it, but you ducked in time, holding the hat on your head with both hands. It was so soft. 

¨How about a trade? The coin for the hat.¨

¨How about my hat for your heart? Do this, and I won´t...¨ his words died in his mouth as he clutched his pockets. 

¨Looking for this?¨ You held your heart, wrapped in a cold and gelatinous box that you retrieved when you bumped into him minutes earlier.

How could you fool him again? He kept seeking answers that explained why it was so easy for you to outwit him, and his expression showed. 

¨You´re getting close, Law. Put your little trash can to work.¨ you tapped your temple, smiling mischievously at him. 

¨YN-ya, you know I can kill you, right?¨

¨Yeah, but you won´t.¨

¨How do you know?¨

¨I got a sixth sense for these things.¨ 

The rest of the conversation did not take long to come to an end. Amid sarcastic comments and threats to each other's lives, what should have been the pinnacle of the moment became a random passage in the Heart Pirates´ logbook.

¨So, YN-ya, do you want to join us? You´re gonna have to wear a uniform and address me as Captain.¨

¨I´ll give a chance to the uniform, and I´ll only address you as Captain when you behave as Captain.¨

Law sighed, giving himself a carotid massage ¨Ok. Let´s go.¨

He walked a few steps ahead of you and Bepo, wondering why he spent so much effort on an arrogant thief that wouldn't even call him Captain.

You quickly became friends with the polar bear, even apologizing for calling him a dog. He strangely apologized for your apologies, culminating in what would almost make the notorious Surgeon of Death suffer a stroke.

¨What the hell is that?!¨ you shouted when the Polar Tang entered your field of vision ¨That´s not a ship!¨

What if I am claustrophobic?

The ya thing is a schtick?

Death? That´s a little borderline controversial for a doctor.

Trafalgar more like Trafraude!

On occasions like that, Law wondered how peaceful and quiet would be the sixth level of Impel Down. From a current perspective, your initial interaction served as a vaccine, creating the necessary antibodies Law would need to deal with future pirate alliances. 

The crew got attached to you very quickly. Your adventurous spirit, your stunts, and street trades fascinated them. Losing bets against you seemed acceptable, your card tricks and the thing of guessing the numbers they thought was like fuel for a good day at work.

Law didn't seem to mind that much. After all, you wouldn't get him on his nerves if you were busy with them. However, one day, you let slip something that caught his attention. 

¨YEAH! That´s exactly what she looked like! How did you do this?!¨ 

Law heard Shachi´s roar, followed by a wave of surprised ´ooh´s coming from the kitchen, where the majority of the crew hunched around the dinner table. 

The doctor leaned against the door, silently observing what could possibly be more important than keeping the ship working. He had been drowning in files all night, and now he decided to have a coffee break. That mess early in the morning did not make him happy. 

No one seemed to be too intimidated when he cleared his throat, announcing his presence. Everyone greeted him with smiling 'good mornings' and turned their attention back to you.

 ¨What is going on here?¨

¨Captain did you know Y/N can see dead people?!¨ 

The coffee left a bitter aftertaste on his mouth.

¨What?¨

¨Yeah, Captain!¨ Shachi yelled on Law´s face, earning a death glare ¨She just described my mom!¨

¨Really, Y/N-ya? Now you´re a magician and a psychic?¨ he asked, taking the seat across from you. 

¨The perks of being me.¨ you shrugged. 

¨Do you see more dead people here?¨ 

Yes

¨No. But you sound a little skeptical, Law.¨ 

It was way too early for that discussion, but your biological clock didn't seem to care. Whenever Law came with his teasing, you would be ready to strike back.

He gave everyone a lecture about empathic accuracy and how good you were reading cues communicated by words, emotions, and body language. Or some crap like that. 

¨Ok, let me see if I got this right.¨ You shifted in the chair, hands moving in the air ¨You can pull organs out of people´s bodies, cut them in pieces without killing, switch their souls, but you do not believe that I can see dead people?¨

He tilted his head, but not giving you an exact answer.  

¨Do you wanna know what I think?¨

¨No.¨

¨I´ll tell you anyway. I think you have something you don´t want people to know, like a soft spot or a tragic past.¨ you sought the answer in his eyes ¨I´m guessing a loved one who died?¨ 

Overall, he was not wrong. You were a master in reading people´s body language, but you were not a jackass. So when the slight twitch of his mouth cleared up your doubts, it was time to stop. 

You knew how it felt, soft spots, tragic pasts, or late loved ones. There was no need to go further and throw more salt on his wounds. Hopefully, that taught him a lesson. 

An awkward silence ensued while everyone watched the scene, uncertain how to act, fearful that an extra spark would make everything explode into massive destruction.

¨Whatever.¨ he sighed ¨Show´s over. We´ll be reaching land in a few days, and we should be preparing to dock.¨ 

When everyone left the kitchen to go about their businesses, you remained alone with the figure that constantly wandered the submarine. He didn't do it in a creepy way. Despite his extravagant makeup and the intimidating aura, he was not a bother.

And it wasn't like he was there all the time, definitely more than anyone else. His passages were guaranteed on the days when Law was more sensitive. For bad or for good. He would look after him from the distance like a parenting figure. 

¨Who are you?¨ you murmured under your breath. 

For the next few days, Law made sure you were too busy to foster discussions about dead people or paranormal abilities.

When your services stealing rare supplies or getting answers to your Captain's questions you weren't required, you would help him with mountains of paperwork.

Only this time, he had outdone himself.

He managed to assemble the annual check-up of the crew, the inventory packing list, and the update of the logbook at once. This last one could easily wait until after you docked. But that freaking workaholic sadistic surgeon would not let this opportunity slip. So you pulled several all-nighters writing, signing, and stamping, all without exchanging a single word.

When you emerged, a few miles from land, you barely enjoyed the fresh breeze and sunlight. The crew hopped around, getting ready to put their feet on the continent as you sat in the kitchen profusely grouchy.

Your brain was fried, burnt, carbonized. 

¨You´re not coming?¨ Penguin asked, and you shook your head. ¨It´s been a while, Y/N, you should come.¨ you shook your head again. ¨I guess you´re not buying anything for the Captain´s birthday as well.¨

An incohesive question came out of your exhausted being. Penguin couldn´t help but feel sorry for you. ¨By the time his birthday comes up, we will be underwater, so everyone is preparing.¨ 

¨Do I have to?¨

¨No!¨ he chuckled ¨He doesn´t really like it, but we still buy him something.¨

¨Why?¨

¨´Cause he is a good Captain!¨ he said and sprunt out by the voice of someone calling him, waving goodbye at you. 

 It wasn't that you didn´t think Law was a good Captain. It was just an inherent nature of yours to clash every time you looked at each other. 

But on such occasion, you could combine the useful with the pleasant. After all, you were grateful because he gave you friends. Of course, he was the unfortunate by-product that came with them, but you could handle him. 

So fighting against your will to stay and sleep, you forced your way out to the solid ground, hoping to find the most random store someone could wish for, a haberdasher. 

Much to your delight, you did it. You picked a burgundy color wool and the first hook you put your eyes on and returned to your soft bed. 

The chances of you having scared your crewmates by staring at the blank for hours were high. In reality, you wanted to memorize and come up with a pattern for the strange-looking beanie that man wore. 

It had no pompom at the top like Penguin´s. Instead, two long pieces of fabric ran down from each side with heart-like things hanging.

When the sixth day of the tenth month arrived, Law´s desk was cluttered with presents. You had decided to wait until you were done with work and heading to bed to give it to him. 

After conquering that task, you locked yourself in your room, where you stayed until you had it finished. For some reason, you bothered to buy a box to put it in. Whatever.  

On the sixth day of the tenth month, Trafalgar Law could not focus on work. Every slight movement of yours, every bathroom break got him jittery, rehearsing words that wouldn´t make you hate him more. 

Not that you ever hated him, but you didn´t talk, so he didn´t know. After some time starting small talks and being ignored, you just gave up trying. 

By the end of that night, he had given up too. So when you placed the golden-yellow box on his desk, he couldn´t vocalize his feelings. It became just another silent night. 

Chests tight and hearts clogged with unspoken words. 

Law did not work for the next couple of days, and if he left his room, no one saw. The gifts on his desk were not even opened. Everything was left the way it was. 

Maybe you had crossed a line. 

As you marched up to the room at the end of the hall, several paths popped into your mind. You could act like you didn´t care, so what if you left? You had been alone for so long, it wouldn't make any difference! Still, something was begging you to apologize. To ask to stay, because being there was good, everything you never knew you wanted.

You were ready to pack your bags and have your title as a Heart Pirate retracted when you woke up one morning, finding a note on your desk telling you to meet him in his room. Your nails dug into your sweaty palms. Where did this tightness in your chest come from?

When you set foot in the room, your eyes hovered around. It was the first time you saw Law's room. It was exactly how you thought it would be.

Keeping your gaze locked on his was more difficult. He was sitting in an armchair near the foot of the bed. From afar, his appearance remained neat, as always, but as you approached you saw the circles under his eyes even darker. A thing you didn't think was possible.

For the first time, you didn't know how to read his expression. And seeing him vulnerable like that made your stomach drop. So you prepared yourself for the worst. However, to your surprise, all he did was ask you questions. 

No snarky remarks. You just talked.    

That day something changed. And from that day on, Law had found someone to help him carry the unbearable weight he had on his shoulders, and you found a place to call home. 

                                                             ...

¨Y/N-ya.¨ he called you, who was a cuddle away from sleeping.

¨Hm?¨

¨Before you left, in Sabaody...¨

¨Uhm.¨

¨You stole the coin again, didn´t you?¨ 

You giggled and pulled the commemorative coin from your back pocket, snuggling closer to his body and feeling the vibration of his chest as he chuckled.

Extra notes: I hope you had enjoyed it! It came out a little too long, but I have been feeling like I´m limiting myself when it comes to the number of words... I don´t know, I´m confused. 

Anyway, is that pink and red that I see on the horizon?

[uwuwriting]

Breaking in pt.2 w/ Aizawa, Shinsou and Bakugou

Request: Hi!! SoooOO I recently found your stuff and it's safe to say I am ✨obsessed✨ I LOVED the post you did of the BNHA reacting to someone breaking in with Hawks, Dabi and Todoroki. I was wondering if you could do another one with like Shinsou, Bakugou and Aizawa. I feel like Baku would throw mad HANDS. love your work stay stuff and have a good day x - anonymous

Okay I too love rescue fics and being kidnapped or held hostage is one of my favorite tropes. Throwing your kids in the mix is immaculat at least for me because I’m a die hard fan of domestic AUs. So of course I’m gonna write this trope again with these three idiots. I enjoyed writing the previous one so hehheehehehhe. Love ya. 💖💖💖

masterlist II rules

warnings: some descriptions of violence, some crying but fluff/comfort in the end. 

Aizawa Shota II a son (Kaito)

-He was running late. 

-He hated running late.

-Today the class had extra training hours and it lasted longer than he expected, so much so that he had to call for someone to fill in his spot on patrol tonight. 

-In reality he really wanted to spend the night at home with you and your 2 year old son, canceling his patrol because the kids didn’t finish training was just an excuse. 

-He had shot you a text informing you that he would be home tonight but a little later than usual. 

-You had just picked up Kaito from his aunt when you got Aizawa’s message. 

-You were excited to spend some time with your husband. 

-Between your time teaching and his midnight patrols, the only moments you truly got to spend with him were in between the classes or when he came home for dinner and then immediately left. 

-You knew he felt bad leaving the two of you alone for so long and you knew he beat himself up for missing precious time with his son. 

-Opening your apartment door you were met with complete silence which was odd. 

-Usually your three cats, Mochi, Mocha and Coco would meet you at the door, mewing and purring at your feet, Kaito always wanting to be put down so he could pet them. 

-Now though none of them came and you immediately knew something was up. 

-Your spidey senses were tingling. 

-Setting your stuff down you held Kaito closer to you as you slowly walked around your living room and kitchen. 

-Nothing seemed amiss.

-Kaito let out a small whimper and shifted in your grip as something moved behind you.

-Just because you retired from being a hero doesn’t mean your skills have disappeared. 

-Oh no, as a new mom you were hyper aware of your surroundings and you easily dodged the blow that was aimed at your head. 

-Whipping around you came face to face with a hooded figure that seemed more like a burglar than a villain. 

-The dude's eyes quickly landed on Kaito and he let out a shaky breath. 

-They definitely weren’t villains.

-People were aware of Aizawa’s family and any villain who tried to get to him through you would have known about Kaito’s existence. 

- “Shit…. Yo she has a kid!” 

-Another one came pounding from the hallway, eyes quickly landing on the baby you had clutched to your chest. 

-Letting out an exasperated sigh the second intruder rolled his eyes, grabbing an umbrella from the hanger and slowly making his way towards you. 

-  “Just knock her out and tie her up, put the kid in a crib or something.” 

-You weren’t about to let them touch your son, they wouldn’t even be able to come remotely near him. 

-Activating your quirk, thrumming filled the air as you were prepared to fight them, to keep them away from the crying child in your arms and that’s when you saw him. 

-He is always so silent, his footsteps so gentle on the marble floor of your apartment that you have convinced yourself that he is indeed half cat at this point. 

-Aizawa was burning holes at the back of their heads, hair up as he activated his quirk, cancelling theirs. 

-You kissed Kaito as Shota let his capture tool fly across the room successfully trapping the two burglars. 

-In six strides you were next to him, checking for injuries on each other while simultaneously trying *and failing mostly* to calm your 2 year old down. 

-The police were called, naming this whole incident as a random burglary and not a scheduled attack, relieving both of you; you didn’t wanna move again. 

-That night Kaito slept in your room, cuddled on Aizawa’s chest as you were nestled under his arm. 

-Three fur balls were curled at the foot of your shared bed, purring away lulling you to sleep. 

-You found those three locked in your bathroom.

-Apparently Mocha had scratched the living hell out of one of the burglars and they had locked all of them in the bathroom for safe measure.

- “I’m sorry for this.”

- “Burglaries happen Shota, it wasn’t your fault. I’m glad you came when you did, fighting while holding Kaito would have been kinda difficult. I think I might be getting kinda rusty.”

-He stroked Kaito’s plush cheek before letting out a sigh. 

- “I have never seen him cry like that. When he sees me he always calms down but now-”

- “He was scared, Shota. He saw them before I did and the whole situation shook him up. But he’ll be fine, he’s got us.” 

-Giving you a kiss and then placing another one on his son’s forehead, he closed his eyes, arms tightening around the both of you a little. 

Shinsou Hitoshi II a daughter (Kei)

-Hitoshi had been to every single pharmacy in the area searching for Kei’s medication. 

-She had gotten sick and you had asked him to fetch some antibiotics your pediatrician had suggested you give her if her fever didn’t go down.

-Now, Hitoshi was getting desperate. 

-It was the flu season and almost all the pharmacies had emptied their shelves from this particular antibiotic. 

-He was ready to pull his hair out. 

-Apart from that, he also hated leaving you alone like this. 

-You both needed him at the moment and he wasn’t helping at all. 

-Kei was suffering from her fever while you were about 7 weeks pregnant and he was out here running around like a maniac. 

-In one last desperate attempt he entered another pharmacy and to his surprise they had what he was looking for and he was out the door in a flash, leaving the store without giving the clerk enough time to say a single ‘thank you, come again.’ 

-Sprinting home, he dashed into your apartment complex and up the stairs, fumbling for his keys as he neared your door only to find it already ajar. 

-Slowing down he looked at the open entryway; he was sure he closed it on the way out. 

-Why hadn’t you closed it? 

-Pushing it open he came face to face with a disheveled living room, Kei’s toys scattered everywhere while one of your armchairs was knocked over. 

-A small whimper suddenly pierced the air and Hitoshi would recognize his daughter’s cries from anywhere. 

-A deep voice told her to shut up which was answered by your angry voice threatening to beat the living shit out of them if they touched her. 

-With silent steps, Hitoshi tiptoed to your daughter’s room where he could hear the talking only to stop dead in his tracks when shuffling came from your bedroom. 

-Another figure emerged from your bedroom halting once they saw Shinsou. 

- “What th-”

- “Sleep.” 

-Without bothering to check if the intruder passed out, Hitoshi pushed open the door, his anger radiating all around him at the very thought that someone had touched his family. 

-The second person whipped around at the sound of the door opening, eyes wide as they met Hitoshi’s, fumbling to activate their quirk. 

-They made the fatal mistake of speaking though and soon they were unconscious just like their friend, laying on the pastel carpet of Kei’s room. 

-In one swift motion he had Kei in his arms and untied your wrists, rubbing the irritated skin and checking for injuries. 

-Kei wouldn’t calm down, her grip on his shirt turned to iron once the police dragged them out of your house. 

- “I wish I could beat their ass.” 

- “You know you can’t use your quirk right now kitten.” 

- “Yeah but they pissed me off.” 

-Your doctor had forbidden quirk use during the pregnancy and that’s why those two morons had managed to catch you. 

-The scowl on your face had become almost permanent and Shinsou couldn’t decide if he should find it cute or terrifying.

-Kei became attached to Hitoshi’s chest.  

-Hitoshi refused to let her go just like she refused to let him go, staying in his embrace for the rest of the day, any attempt to get her away from him resulting in tears. 

-You are kinda salty but some ice cream will fix that. 

Bakugou Katsuki II A son (Tatsuo)

- “Okay kids, you have a nice weekend and don’t forget to finish your family portraits for Monday. Tatsuo and I would love to see them.” 

-A multitude of goodbyes came through the screen as your kindergarten class, some of your students even opened their cameras to wave at you and your son who was sitting on your lap. 

-Tatsuo babbled back at them, little byes leaving his lips as he too waved back at your laptop. 

-Being in quarantine wasn’t that bad for a kindergarten teacher. 

-Your online classes weren’t difficult to manage and you got to spend more time with your two year old son. 

-The class loved seeing him and would ask if he was joining them each morning. 

-Closing your laptop, you hugged your mini Katsuki as you started heating up his milk. 

-You were humming, gently rocking him as you waited for the milk, giving him stray kisses here and there just to see his little nose scrunch up reminding you of Katsuki more and more everyday. 

-Checking your phone for any new messages, you let out a sigh at your husband’s message saying he was coming home; that was thirty minutes ago. 

-Hero work didn’t let up despite the quarantine. 

-Bakugou was as busy as ever, leaving first thing in the morning and most of the time returning home late in the afternoon sometimes staying out even after midnight. 

-Today though he had managed to get off earlier than usual, promising to cook for both of you tonight. 

-You knew he wanted to spend more time with Tatsuo and the fact that he was gone for the majority of the day was eating him up. 

-He was so worried that he was neglecting his son; he even convinced himself that Tatsuo would soon come to hate him. 

-Your son on the other hand was attached to Katsuki’s hip, always searching for his dad in the morning and beaming when Katsu came home. 

-He could never hate him. 

-The sound of the door opening snapped you out of your little Katsuki infused dream state. 

-Turning around you expected to see your husband in the living room, arms stretched out as he smiled at the two of you. 

-But you were met with three strangers; three hooded strangers holding a crowbar and two bags. 

-It was a staring contest for a solid five minutes before either of you moved. 

-One of them noticed Tatsuo and nudged his “coworker” who then informed the leader of the trio. 

- “Better not make a sound sweetheart, I’d hate hurting that pretty little face of yours.” 

-He took a step forward only for you to take a step back, until your back hit the cupboard. 

-He let out a chuckle and motioned for his rookies to search the place as he continued walking towards you. 

-Tastuo was gripping your shirt, eyes trained on the man, his brows downcast in anger. 

-Your phone lit up on the counter and in one swift move you grabbed it, pressing your emergency call button as the intruder rounded the counter. 

-You sprinted for the front door just as Katsuki picked up only to be grabbed by one of the other two and dragged back inside the house, Katsuki’s yells echoing through the phone. 

-Now you are aware that your husband is one of the top pro heroes. 

-You know that in order to rise to the top charts in this industry you need to have certain attributes like strength, tactical thinking ….speed. 

-You felt him more than saw him. 

-You were wrestling to get the hands of the intruder off of you when you felt the windows rattle. 

-And before you knew it, your husband had tackled the man holding you to the floor, knocking him unconscious with a single punch before pouncing on the other two. 

-Tatsuo was letting out small hiccups as tears rolled down his cheeks, his grip on your shirt never wavering but he refused to sob. 

-He had his father’s pride okay? Even at the age of two. 

-Katsuki had you both in his arms in a flash, calling the police before checking both of you over for injuries and what not. 

- “Did they hurt you? I swear I’ll kill them if they did.” 

-  “We are fine Katsu, just a little shaken.” 

-The moment Tatsuo was in Katsuki’s arms he began to cry, burying his face in his dad’s chest still holding on to your shirt. 

-It took an eternity to calm him down and even longer to put him to sleep, even though he was sleeping in your bed. 

-The next morning Katsuki was on the news for marching to the police station and beating the living hell out of the burglars. 

TAG TEAM AY:

@the-arcana-fan-fic​ @angelwritings​ @axerrri​ @reinyrei​ @dnarez​ @storage11037​ @ezoyscorner​ @letscheereachotheron​ @wolfkid22​ @dark-thoughts-and-red-roses​ @threeamwriting​ @ysatrap​ @yashinosakura @belladonna-coven @angel6786​  @meena-in-a-nutshell​

[robininthelabyrinth]

part 2 to Complications (ao3 and tumblr)

-

“What do you mean you didn’t tell Wei Wuxian about it?” Nie Huaisang asked, feeling as if his eyebrows had just gone up as high as the clouds. “You tell Wei-xiong everything.”

Jiang Cheng scowled forbiddingly at him, but years of dealing with his da-ge’s much scarier version had made Nie Huaisang immune to any hint less than an outright “fuck off” – though it looked like Jiang Cheng was starting to consider that.

“You really do tell him everything, though,” Nie Huaisang protested. “Also, if you tell me to get lost, I will, and then who’ll rub your feet for you?”

“The maid,” Jiang Cheng said pointedly. “Whose job it is.”

Nie Huaisang sniffed. “Jiang-xiong, really! As if she’d be half as good as me.”

“At least I wouldn’t have to worry that she was volunteering to do it because of some undisclosed foot fetish.”

“I said you had pretty feet once.”

“First off, it was not once. Second, my ankles are swollen, I have calluses in places I never expected, and I’m pretty sure they stink,” Jiang Cheng growled. “They’re not pretty.”

“How would you know? It’s not like you can see them this late in the game.”

Jiang Cheng looked as if he was considering kicking Nie Huaisang in the head, so Nie Huaisang decided it was time to change the subject. The weight thing was a bit of a sensitive issue, since Jiang Cheng’s body had helpfully barely shown any evidence of the child he’d decided to keep until there was only a month or two left and then suddenly swell up in a vengeance; it was what had forced him to retreat off the field, claiming a flare-up of an old injury incurred during the fall of the Lotus Pier.

It was a damn good cover story, actually, which was why Nie Huaisang was constantly stunned at the fact that his brother had been the one to come up with it.

“Really, though,” he said. “Why not tell Wei-xiong? It’s not like he isn’t back now, even if he is off glorifying in his demonic cultivation instead of taking your position as leader of the Jiang clan forces.”

“He’s doing what he thinks is right,” Jiang Cheng said at once, because he always defended Wei Wuxian no matter what he did. “And anyway, his demonic cultivation is more effective –”

“Than your entire Jiang sect?” Nie Huaisang interjected, making clear his doubts on the subject. “My brother wrote to me about it; he said that that demonic cultivation of Wei-xiong is like a cannon – devastating when used correctly, but no match for sheer might in numbers.”

“That’s why I didn’t tell him, though,” Jiang Cheng said, and he suddenly looked tired. “He’s been trying so hard to help fight the Wens, with his demonic cultivation and everything, and he took – he takes everything really personally, you know? Mother asked him to look after me, and he seems to think that’s his only purpose in life now. It was bad enough with – with Wen Zhuliu. If he knew about this…”

Nie Huaisang nodded, sympathetic. Jiang Cheng had been suffering from mood swings the past few weeks, and in one particularly bad bout of them had confessed the entire painful story of the Lotus Pier and the immediate aftermath to Nie Huaisang. It’d been a bad night, and one in which Nie Huaisang had deeply wished he could offer some sort of alcohol or something as a remedy – the doctors had insisted on putting Jiang Cheng on strict diet, including a limitation on wine – but in the end he thought it had helped Jiang Cheng to talk about it.

Besides, Jiang Cheng was right about how sensitive Wei Wuxian could be.

“I’ll have to tell him eventually,” Jiang Cheng continued, looking a bit downcast. “Unlike most of the cultivation world, he knows I’m misaligned. It’s not like he’d believe I did the siring, and there’s no one else who it could have been…”

“Tell him it’s mine,” Nie Huaisang said, and grinned when Jiang Cheng gave him a look. “No, really! What a story that’d be, huh? Our Nie sect is protective of its children, so we would have gone through some really picturesque agony in deciding to let you claim it as a Jiang child –”

“Picturesque agony,” Jiang Cheng said, and he was aiming for judging but mostly coming off like he wanted to laugh. “What makes agony picturesque?”

“The fact that it’s theoretical,” Nie Huaisang said promptly, and that actually got a bark of laughter out of Jiang Cheng, as he’d hoped.

“Okay, go on,” he said, leaning back and giving Nie Huaisang an expectant look. “Your brother always says you’re good at making up stories that sound plausible. How could the brat have been yours? You weren’t even there.”

“Ah, but you’re not thinking of the right time!” Nie Huaisang said with a grin, holding up a finger. “The child was actually conceived earlier, back when we were at the indoctrination camp with the Qiongqi and everything; you and I sought comfort in each other’s arms –”

Jiang Cheng gave an incredulous snort.

“Shut up, it’s a romantic turn of phrase. Anyway, it was a spur of the moment thing, one time, and then next thing you know – child!”

“And when people other than Wei Wuxian start asking about how two men can have a child?”

Nie Huaisang lifted his fan up to his face and batted his eyelashes. “Well, Jiang-xiong, I am from Qinghe.”

“You’re an idiot is what you are. Not only are you not a woman in any way, the timelines don’t even work; those two incidents were too far apart. The brat’s not another Nezha.”

“Stop spoiling my fun. How am I supposed to get access to your pretty, pretty feet if you don’t let me have some ancestry with the baby?”

“I will kick you.”

“Maybe we’ve been secretly carrying on for years,” Nie Huaisang said thoughtfully. “In secret, of course, for – reasons that I will think of later. I went on a shopping trip a few weeks before everything happened; I could have swung down towards Yunmeng, and you could have come up on an overnight trip. You flew your sword to meet me in the middle, and we had a stolen night of passion –”

“We were literally engaged when we were younger,” Jiang Cheng said. “We wouldn’t need to steal anything.”

“We thought it was more romantic that way?”

“Try again.”

“Tough audience,” Nie Huaisang complained. “You know, most people aren’t this nitpicky about their porn…oh, I know! We got together during your time at the Cloud Recesses and were just on the verge of announcing that we wanted to resurrect our engagement when your father agreed to repudiate your sister’s; we thought it’d be rude to rub it into her face, so we decided to wait three years to tell everyone.”

“Three years?” Jiang Cheng frowned, doing the math. “Hmm. I guess that would work.”

“We would have just been nerving ourselves up to finally tell people,” Nie Huaisang said enthusiastically. “That’s why we agreed to meet! And there was wine, and moonlight, and things got out of hand, and next thing you know…”

“Aren’t you supposed to be good at porn?” Jiang Cheng complained. “What’s with all this ‘next thing you know’s?”

Nie Huaisang grinned at Jiang Cheng. “If you want me to tell you something spicy, Jiang-gege, you need only ask…”

“Never mind,” Jiang Cheng said hastily, his cheeks turning red at once. “And don’t call me gege in that tone of voice, you sound perverted.”

“As perverted as when I talk about your feet?”

Jiang Cheng really did try to kick him for that one.

“Ouch!” Nie Huaisang cried, playing it up even though Jiang Cheng had been slow enough that even he could have dodged if he’d made even half an effort, and anyway the kick itself was extremely light. “Jiang-xiong, don’t you know you’re supposed to wait until we’re married to start beating your wife?”

“Nie Huaisang…!”

Nie Huaisang couldn’t help it and started laughing.

“But no, really,” he said, wiping his eyes a moment later. “If you didn’t tell Wei-xiong, what does he think you’re doing here? Did you feed him the same ‘complications’ line as everyone else?”

“More or less,” Jiang Cheng said. “I told him I needed some time to go stabilize my qi, since I hadn’t had a moment to do it since my golden core was restored.”

“That’s a good idea, actually,” Nie Huaisang said, diverted by the idea of a good story. “You don’t know how Baosan Sanren brought it back, and whether it works exactly the same way – you said it even felt a little stronger than before, but too much strength all of a sudden can be bad, too. You don’t want to risk a qi deviation. Even a small one that could hurt your future potential.”

“That’s what I told him,” Jiang Cheng said, nodding. “I also asked if he could maybe consider looking into qi deviations more generally in the future, though I didn’t say why. He’s enough of a genius to come up with demonic cultivation; maybe he can do something about – about your family’s issue.”

Nie Huaisang’s heart softened. He didn’t think it was likely after countless generations of trying, but he appreciated that Jiang Cheng had thought of it. “You know my brother doesn’t expected to be paid back for helping you – either now, or back when you were still a child.”

“I know,” Jiang Cheng said, groaning. “That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t like to, if I could. But he’s so self-sufficient! What can I possibly do for him?”

“Now you know what I go through every birthday,” Nie Huaisang told him. “See, this is why we should get married; that way we can suffer through the uncertainty together.”

“Get lost.”

“If you insist…”

“Get your hands back on my feet.”

Nie Huaisang grinned and turned back to his work. “How did Wei-xiong take it, anyway? He must have been worried.”

“He said he was going to try to find someone to consult with and ran off at once,” Jiang Cheng said, and now he was scowling again. “When what I meant was that he could use that to fill his time while he stayed at the Jiang camp to help lead it, instead of me having to owe your brother another favor.”

“Wei-xiong was raised to be a head disciple, not a sect leader,” Nie Huaisang said with a shrug. “He thinks more about what’s right and what’s wrong than he does about what’s necessary, because in the end those decisions aren’t his to bear.”

Jiang Cheng was quiet for a while after that, clearly turning something over in his head. Nie Huaisang didn’t say anything, focusing instead of soothing his friend’s feet and asking the maids to bring them some more snacks, especially the painfully salty ones that Jiang Cheng had become so fond of.

“I still think my father wanted the sect to go to him,” he finally said.

There was no need to ask who.

“He’s not actually your father’s bastard,” Nie Huaisang said. He didn’t bother with assurances that Jiang Cheng would never believe; he had too much experience in being the worse half of a comparison for that. “So it wouldn’t have worked, anyway.”

“No, I mean – I think that if you and I weren’t already engaged when Wei Wuxian was found, if your brother hadn’t already made everyone treat me like a boy by then, I think my father would’ve set up a marriage between us.”

“Between you and Wei-xiong?” Nie Huaisang’s head hurt at the thought. “But you’re more like brothers than anything else!”

“He wouldn’t have known it then, would he? And that way Wei Wuxian would be the Sect Leader, even if his children would be named Jiang.”

“That’s really stupid,” Nie Huaisang said. “Even if you married him, shouldn’t you still be sect leader, and him first disciple? It’s not really the Jiang clan if it’s lead by someone with a different surname –”

Jiang Cheng started laughing. “No, no, it’s nothing,” he said when Nie Huaisang looked askance at him. “I keep forgetting you’re from Qinghe, where the only thing that matters is the saber. Yunmeng Jiang doesn’t allow women to inherit roles in the sect; that’s why I’m the heir, and not Jiang Yanli, and why the original plan was for one of my cousins to be the heir.”

“What? That’s so stupid. What if there’s a curse on the generation so that everyone bears only girls? Does the Jiang sect just fall over and die?”

Jiang Cheng’s eyes were starting to tear up from laughter, and he put his hand on his rounded belly to stabilize it. “I don’t know. That seems pretty unlikely, though, doesn’t it?”

“Unlikely my ass! Legend has it that it happened to one of my ancestors.”

“And everyone in the next generation was a girl?”

“Misaligned or otherwise, yeah. And shortly afterwards there was a whole thing with this one saber spirit deciding to possess a human body – it’s a long story, with lots of dead people; I’d tell it to you, but I can’t do it justice the way one of our clan storytellers would. You’ll just have to wait until we’re married.”

“We’re not getting married, Nie Huaisang,” Jiang Cheng said, long-suffering.

“You still haven’t given me a good reason why not,” Nie Huaisang said, undeterred. “It’s all been bullshit ‘I can’t burden you like that’ sort of stuff, and I already told you I don’t care.”

“Do you want to be kicked again?”

“No, but I could negotiate being stepped on –”

“Nie Huaisang!”

[aion-rsa]

Doc Ock Is Still the Best Spider-Man Villain On-Screen

https://ift.tt/3GqxhgA

It’s the trailer that broke the internet. The first Spider-Man: No Way Home sizzle footage, which ended with the familiar sight of Alfred Molina strapped to four mechanical arms, was viewed more than 355 million times in its first 24 hours on the web, setting a Guinness world record. When Molina’s iconic Doctor Octopus (or Doc Ock) smiled, “Hello, Peter,” the whole world smiled right back.

Despite it being nearly 20 years since Molina last played Doc Ock in a movie—way back when Tobey Maguire was still Spider-Man and George W. Bush was only in his first term as President of the United States—the excitement audiences had at seeing the not-so-good doctor up to no damn good was palpable. Part of this, of course, is due to the fan theory that if Molina is coming back, then Maguire probably will too (although that isn’t confirmed). But even without Maguire, there’s something just remarkable about seeing Molina as Ock again. After all, he remains the greatest Spider-Man movie villain to this day.

It’d be easy to dismiss such a thought as mere nostalgia, rose-tinted memories of long gone times. Yet if that’s the case, Sony and Marvel Studios are keenly aware that most folks share that wistfulness about the Spider-Man 2 heavy since the new trailer greeted his return with all the reverence of Harrison Ford showing up again as Han Solo at the end of the first The Force Awakens trailer, or seeing a proton pack fire again at the end of Sony’s own Ghostbusters: Afterlife trailer. Clearly, Marvel is banking on most folks being thrilled to see Spidey’s greatest cinematic foe returned to their universe, despite Marvel themselves already taking a stab at multiple classic Spidey villains to date, including Vulture, Mysterio, and the Shocker.

No matter the continuity, or “Spider-Verse,” or even in our modern blockbuster era where Sony is giving Venom and every other Spider-Man villain their own spinoff movie…. there’s still just something about dear old Otto.

It certainly wasn’t planned that way. When Alfred Molina was cast as Otto Octavius two decades ago, he was following in the emerging Sony and Sam Raimi pattern of casting respected character actors who just received awards attention a year or two ago as the next big bad. In 2001 that meant casting Willem Dafoe—who was about to have a career renaissance after receiving his second Oscar nomination for Shadow of the Vampire (2000)—and a few years later, it was Molina’s turn fresh off the Oscar winning Frida (2002). Even so, it’s arguable that the studio which also wanted the Lizard and Black Cat in the sequel—and which would soon get its wish to overstuff a Spidey follow-up a few years later—never fully realized just how special having Doctor Octopus could be.

Director Raimi and the final screenwriter, Alvin Sargent, certainly did though. Jettisoning the other extraneous villains, as well as an awful studio note about having Doc Ock crush on college co-ed Mary Jane Watson, they returned Otto to some semblance of his comic book roots. And, just as importantly for Raimi, they took full advantage of what might be Spidey’s most visually dynamic villain.

Often drawn to be a pudgy and middle-aged introvert who hides behind sunglasses and a bowl cut, Otto Octavius has never been a “cool” looking character in the traditional sense. It’s why on the page, many young fans might gravitate toward the oily nightmare of Venom, or the demonic menace of Spidey’s technical arch-nemesis, the Green Goblin. But whereas both of those characters present a greater hurdle to make tactile onscreen, Doctor Octopus’ mechanical arms create a visual symphony of spectacle and danger. Simply put, watching the balletic movements of an agile wallcrawler dodging a litany of moving arms just looks wildly fun, especially in motion.

Raimi got the memo in that regard, relying on extensive puppeteering for close-ups and CGI for wide shots to give alternating weight and fluidity to Doc Ock’s appearances. He also made Ock the first comic book movie villain to actually be able to participate in comic book action. Dafoe’s Green Goblin from a few years earlier, while a campy delight, was somewhat hindered by that film’s smaller budget and the still nascent development of digital effects in superhero action.

But in Spider-Man 2? Doc Ock and Spider-Man could battle vertically on the side of a building for one set-piece and on top of a moving elevated train in another. Digital effects were still early enough along that Raimi didn’t feel the need to shove as much muddled carnage onscreen as possible. He thus had the relative freedom to bask in his images, savoring the vertigo of Spidey and Ock eyeballing each other while looking 40 stories down, or in the horror of just one car (and an actual car, not a CGI blob) being thrown through a window as opposed to a fleet of them. Sometimes less is more.

Yet it was more than just the visual splendor of Ock that made him a great villain. The Spider-Man movies, and superhero films in general, are littered with visually cool big bads who rely on massive amounts of computer generated effects, all of which are used to paper over how thin and disengaging they really are. Which again, brings us back to how intelligently Molina and Raimi presented this character.

Doctor Octopus is not what one would consider a “grounded” villain. There’s unlikely to be any Martin Scorsese-emulated origin stories made about his sad childhood. He’s a megalomaniacal fiend who despite building four mechanical sci-fi arms—and which are also revealed to have artificial intelligence and are resistant to magnetism and intense heat in Spider-Man 2—is still inexplicably searching for a creation that will justify his genius and get him worldwide acclaim.

Yet Molina and Raimi sharply underplay all that jazz, teasing out great depths beneath waters Molina keeps conspicuously still. This was a counterintuitive move after the first Spider-Man. Dafoe is, again, a delicious joy of scenery-chewing as the Green Goblin. But while playing Spider-Man’s greatest comic book villain, Dafoe was saddled with a ridiculous costume and ludicrous motivations, both of which were in-keeping with most comic book movie villains not played by Ian McKellen during the previous 25 years. 

Molina, by contrast, played Doctor Octopus completely straight and also with undaunted conviction. The movie would poke some fun at the character’s absurdities, at times, with J.K. Simmons’ J. Jonah Jameson snarking the obvious: “A guy named Otto Octavius winds up with eight limbs. What are the odds?” Nevertheless, no character dares laugh or crack wise in Doc Ock’s actual presence. Since the beginning of his career, Raimi has been a cheeky director, turning his gorefest debut, The Evil Dead, into a dark comedy. But he knows when to dial back and he always films Octavius with an operatic sense of pathos and grandeur.

Molina comports himself similarly onscreen. When we first meet him, his Octavius is slightly more dynamic than the megalomaniac on the comic book page. He has a wife Rosalie (Donna Murphy), and a life that existed before he became a supervillain. He and Rosie share sweet memories of studying poetry in college with Peter, and both display a genuine interest in another character’s personal life—an element which has gone largely by the wayside in the superhero movie genre, before and sense.

It’s not exactly Ibsen, but it’s enough to give the accident which welds the mechanical arms to his spine and drives him insane some emotional weight. And it gives Molina enough to chew on to make the character both tragic and, eventually, menacing as he gives in to his madness.

Read more

Movies

Tom Holland Says Spider-Man: No Way Home Introduces ‘Raimi Camera’ Style in MCU

By David Crow

Movies

Why Spider-Man 2’s Train Fight is Superhero Cinema’s Greatest Action Scene

By Mark Harrison

In the 17 years since Spider-Man 2 was released, supervillains have tended to be increasingly written as glib and self-aware as the heroes, particularly when appearing in the Marvel Studios canon. There has been a clear calculation made that these movies go down easier if the films frequently make winking asides to the audience not to take it too seriously, not to engage too critically, and just generally not to worry about it. There are exceptions of course, but ever since Loki was turned into the Hulk’s yo-yo in The Avengers, this has been closer to the rule than the exception, even for straight-faced villains like Ronan the Accuser in Guardians of the Galaxy, whose self-seriousness makes him a figure prime for ridicule when he’s baffled by the concept of a “dance off.”

In Jon Watts’ Spider-Man films there have been attempts to get away from this, with Michael Keaton’s Vulture coming the closest to replicating the generational tension created by Doc Ock. Once again we had a father figure doing battle with “the kid” who won’t accept his authority. Nonetheless, the Vulture’s beef persistently being left with Iron Man, and not Spider-Man, never let that rivalry fully blossom. Jake Gyllenhaal’s Mysterio, meanwhile, returned to the typical self-referential glibness of traditional Marvel Studios villainy, with Mysterio being more concerned with how his cape is ironed before he meets the Queen of England than he is with the fight at hand against Spidey.

There is no tension-deflating bathos humor to Doc Ock’s scenes in Spider-Man 2. When Ock’s arms first awaken from their AI slumber and slaughter a room full of surgeons, it’s nightmarish, with Raimi repeating many of the horror movie tricks he learned in the Evil Dead films. When Otto awakens and finds the dead bodies, he doesn’t make a lighthearted joke which trivializes the sequence. He lives with it.

Molina plays all his scenes with this level of conviction, which is why there has never been a better onscreen dynamic between Spidey and one of his villains. Peter Parker, even Tobey Maguire’s more earnest interpretation of the character, is just a kid often in over his head who compensates with a smart mouth. Ock is a curt professional who doesn’t have time or interest in engaging with such juvenilia. Their odd couple energy makes the potential violence increasingly bitter as the movie goes along.

Take for instance the bank scene. The dialogue between the two characters is almost perfunctory, and could be found as quickly inserted filler on any CW show. Doc Ock says, “You’re getting on my nerves,” and the Web-Head retorts, “I have a knack for that.” But the cold, almost clinical way, Molina responds, “Not for long,” has such confidence it’s almost thrilling to watch his anger boil.

Molina also brings in his choices to moments where Ock is also having fun. The instinct to have him look back and forth, twice, between two passengers before picking which to toss first off a train is a clever character moment. And when the rest of the passengers on said train gather to stand up to Ock as “New Yorkers,” there is an almost infectious glee in Molina’s smile as he gets to hurt all of them in one brusque motion.

Moments like these are couched in action movie eye candy which still holds up not because of the dated CGI but due to Raimi’s intuitive understanding of film composition and using action to tell a story as opposed to just overwhelm the senses and clutter the frame. Molina likewise gives all his moments a regal sense of superiority that elevates his character and performance above even the dialogue. Like the mechanical arms attached to his spine, this is a perfect melding of director and star. And it’s created a villain who has us all at “hello.”

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

The post Doc Ock Is Still the Best Spider-Man Villain On-Screen appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3oz064h

[spiltscribbles]

The One With The Princess Leia Bikini

~Notes: This gets sorta smutty.... :S

.-

Send Me A Friends Episode/Storyline?  |  Rebogs Ar Love, Reblog Are Life!

.-

Sirius tosses a glare at an indignant James sitting across the counter from him, affronted on everything he has ever stood for.

“Brooklyn Nine Nine is way better than some stupid, ruddy drama about doctors.”

“Take that back you prick!”

“’S true!”

”Gray’s Anatomy paints the manic  highs and lows of their jobs with dignity and realism.” James argues with an imperious tilt of his head. “The storylines don’t even compare!”

“There was a bomb at their wedding!”

“There was a bomb lodged in someone’s arsehole!”

Sirius opens his mouth to retort, but stutters on his words when one of their ducks steps out of his room, spitting up something green before he  begins to peck at the sofa cushion.

“Good morning Pronsie,” James crows, walking over to cradle him into his arms and kisses the top of his head.

“Mate, you have to stop feeding him the peanut butter, ’s making them crazed,” Sirius tells him sagely  before taking a spoonful out of the jar for himself.

“They’re just demanding,” James sniffs, perking up once Lily walks into their apartment. “You agree, love, don’t you?”

“What?” She asks, single brow kinked as she grabs a bottle of water  from the fridge, still dressed in her athletic wear from her run. “That your ducks are demonic.”

“See!” Sirius shouts.

“They’re just a wee bit ill, poor things,” James says with a cluck of his tongue, gingerly petting Prongs’s feathers and wandering over to Lily for a quick peck to her sweaty forehead.

“Ill in the heads,” Sirius retorts lowly, grabbing for his discarded Guinness.

James casts him a heated glower, never halting his gentle caresses to Prongs’s feathered back. “Maybe I should call Mum, she’d know how to help.”

“Oi, right, because your veterinarian mother has nothing better to do.”

“She likes the marauders wanker!”

“Okay, did not come here to interrupt one of your lover’s quarrels,” Lily sighs, forever suffering, as she loosens and regathers  her  hair anxiously, tying the red main   into a messy topknot.

“Rude,” Sirius and James chorus with the same peeved inflection.

“I’m exhausted you berks! Dorcas has been staying at our place ever since Marlene went on that tour around the continent to find new athletes for the firm to sign.”

“Oof, is it nasty?” James asks, gently placing Prongs the duck to the ground and straightening back up.

“She’s in a real strop over it, yeah. Re’s with her now.”

“Lils, you underestimate Cas,,” Sirius snorts, bending down and giving into Prongs’s silent plea for a snack, holding out a chunk of peanut butter for him to nibble at. “She’s not gonna let something so temporary fuck her up. They’ve been going out for over a year now.” Sirius studiously ignores the little nagging voice in his own head— one that frighteningly sounds like Mrs Potter of all people— Tooting at him that he’d certainly not be this nonchalant if Remus had to go on some research sabbatical in Rome or Athens for half as long as Marlene’s three month stint.

“You are so full of it Black,” Lily sneers, and he really wouldn’t be surprised if she’s somehow secretly found out how to read minds on her downtime from the restaurant.

“Dorcas is a diamond,” James says cheerfully. “I’m sure she’ll be right as rain soon enough.” As if right on queue they hear a booming crash coming from across the hall in Lily and Remus’s apartment. “Or erm— Maybe she won’t?”

"Prats,” Lily mutters lowly before pivoting on her heels leading the way for the three sum to frantically  scramble and follow suit.

Sirius is all levels of confused once they walk in  only to findDorcas starfished flat on the ground with her curls still soaked from what must’ve been a shower and grasping tight to a pink hairbrush. Remus’s standing over her with his hands on his hips, and lips pinched ever so slightly, the face he gets when he’s trying to figure out how to solve a particularly difficult dilemma. And it might be smarmy of him, but Sirius can’t help feeling a little parched when he sees the way Remus’s drenched T-shirt clings to his perfect form— near see-through.

“Is everything okay?” Lily asks as she steps closer, frowning bewilderedly.

“We just had a bit of an incident when Dorcas saw a clunk of blonde hair in the brush  that Marlene shares with her.”Remus explains, excepting the kiss Sirius offers him in hello. “And well, ahem then she found a garment that Marlene had left behind…  And well things escalated.”

“I’m going to be alone for forever,” Dorcas moans, making his point for him.

“I love it when you’re the dramatic one, Cas,” Sirius crows, narrowly dodging the aforementioned brush that Dorcas launches at his head. “Nice aim!”

“Leave me so I can whither away!”

“Nonsense, love, you two will be fine.” James interjects good naturedly.

“Let’s get some frozen yogurt, yeah?  Get your mind off of everything,” Lily suggests lightly, helping pull her up by the hands with Remus, Sirius’s own never leaving Remus’s back pocket.

“Can we go to the place with the jellybean  toppings,” Dorcas asks with a pout, head resting on Lily’s shoulder— dark tresses falling into strawberry blonde.

“Course, sweetheart,” she assures with a glowing smile.

Breathing in deep, Dorcas nods slowly, stretching her neck just slightly so to kiss Remus’s cheek in thanks  before she lets Lily cart her off into her room to get changed.

“I better put the marauders into their crate if we’re going to be out long,” James announces, effectively leaving Remus and Sirius finally, blissfully, alone.

“Is this the part where I tell you that I thought you only get wet when I’m around?” Sirius asks cheekily, rounding on his boyfriend with a smirk already painted over his face.

“You can,” Remus relents with a one armed shrug. “But only if you want to not speak with me for the rest of the day.”

Sirius lets out an endeared huff, head shaking slightly before he dips down to greet him properly. “Morning gorgeous,” he beams,  cupping his hands around Remus’s face before kissing him nice and thorough.

“I missed you last  night,” Remus says, foreheads pressed up against each other as his hands wander up and down Sirius’s back muscles appreciatively, landing on his forearms with a small squeeze.

“I had to concentrate on that proposal for the new  tube stop that Moody wanted by today.” Sirius tips back his head, toes curling ever so slightly at the way Remus is mouthing along the column of his neck, nipping at the hinge of Sirius’s jaw with particular focus.  “And believe it or not Messr Lupin, but you prove a formidable distraction."

“Is that right?” Remus smiles against his skin, pressing him even closer.  “And did you finish all that paperwork, architect Black?”

“Hmm, you’re getting off on this shit, aren’t you?” Sirius can’t help but laugh, especially when Remus pulls back,  blinking up  owlishly at him. “Oh don’t give me the innocent act, gorgeous. I’ve been able to see through that since the first night we met.”

Remus’s face turns a fetching pink, snickering slightly as he presses back up against him. “Can’t. Help. It.” Remus says between another round of peppered kisses on the lobe of Sirius’s ear, the hallow of his cheek and corner of his mouth too. “You’re brilliant.”

“You’re touched in the head, just a ball of hornyness.” Sirius accuses, tugs him close once more and slants their lips together while one hand slings around Remus’s narrow waste and the other begins to knead into his ass muscle. “Shall we take this back to your room? Do this properly without any clothing?”

Remus flushes, fingers toying with the collar of Sirius’s shirt as he swallows down, hard.”Could you— Erm, could you maybe wear those glasses you use sometimes for when you’re reading those long contracts?”

Absolutely preening,, Sirius cards a hand through Remus’s caramel curls, scraping his nails gently against his scalp. “And the professorial kink makes another appearance in the bed ladies and gents.” He announces to the empty room, as if he’s  a twentieth century gameshow host.

“I wouldn’t go so far as to call it a kink, per se.” Remus argues haughtily, cheeks infused red, and teeth sunk into his bottom lip.

“‘S okay gorgeous, I think your swottyness is rather cute.” Sirius goads, pecks Remus’s mouth lightly before dragging him off to his room to finally get at some bare skin. 

“It’s not because I’m a swot that I like seeing you like that,” Remus harrumphs, watching as Sirius sheds off his top before sitting leisurely on the bed, feeling bloody incandescent when Remus mounts his lap, nuzzling his nose against Sirius’s neck with his arms resting against his broad shoulders.

“I’d wager you have dirty librarian fantasies too,” Sirius laughs through the kisses, thrusting upwards so that Remus’s bum bounces slightly against his hardness, fucking miraculous.

“Hah— Hmm,” Remus breathes a bit more laboredly as he settles back down. “And what if I do,” he asks primly, unwittingly making it so a thrill runs down Sirius’s spine with the thought of his boyfriend— the bloke who is most certainly  the love of his god forsaken life— picturing the different ways he wants Sirius— above him and under him, all around him and deep inside of him. And Christ, what a beautiful thought.

“’S not a problem with me goldilocks,” Sirius tells him with a slight catch to his voice, not having expected that the idea would effect him so thoroughly. “Tell me do you like me stern? Maybe you turned in some late books and I had to teach you a lesson.”

“If I’m being honest, love, you don’t talk much in the fantasy,” Remus laughs when Sirius bolts upwards, flipping him so that he’s beneath Sirius and his hair is fanned on the pillow like a gilded halo.

“Fucking lies,” Sirius slips a hand through the hem of Remus’s sweats, unsurprised to find that he’s not wearing any boxer briefs, knowing full and well how Remus prefers to sleep in the nude.” “You love it when I’m waxing poetic about you, and when I’m harsh at you. When I tell you about how your mouth is meant to suck my cock, how I want to put you over my lap and spank that perfect little arse of yours.” Sirius wraps his hand around Remus’s length, twisting it slightly before  starting to pump, absolutely beaming at how he’s already begun to get Remus to get that oh so beautiful glazed look over his eyes, turning him undone with a few strategic touches and perfectly crafted, perfectly illicit mutterings. “When I call you gorgeous and a filthy little slag and when I fuck into you even after you’re already spent.”

Remus’s hips rock up, eyes squint shut when Sirius uses his free hand to thumb at one of his delightfully pink nipples and pinches it for good measure while he quickens the pace of his hand sliding up and down Remus’s shaft. “Tell me how much you crave that, love. How much you love being good for me, how much you love it when I show you how.”

“Sirius— Hold on,” Remus begs, voice coming out in an almost whine— haggard and breathy and high pitched— while both his hands knot into  Sirius’s dark hair, quaking so hard that Sirius knows he’s got him on the edge. 

Tenderly, he dips down his head, lips pressed against Remus’s ear and hot tendrils of breath skirting against his skin. Shh, ‘s fine, baby,” he promises him, stroking him through the climax. “’S okay, just let me take care of you, yeah?”

“Oh God! Fuck! Fuck— Sirius!” Remus chokes out, hips thrusting rapidly as he chases that relief and slumping back once his orgasm quite literally pulses out, coating Sirius’s hand and abs and some on Remus’s jumper too.

“You really are gorgeous,” Sirius tells him with a smile, gingerly kissing the lids of his still shut eyes before grappling for the little baggie of wet wipes they’ve begun keeping in Remus’s night stand drawer for moments like these.

“I hate how you could do that to me,” Remus tells him with heavy breaths as Sirius cleans up, taps his side lightly so Remus rises up his hips and Sirius tosses his pants to the corner, followed by Remus’s now spoiled jumper. He really couldn’t wait to get his hands off of him after a day apart.

“Oi! ‘S not my fault that the thought of me as some stodgy  librarian is what   gets you going, Moonbeam.” Sirius rebukes, pulls up the comforter so that it pools around their hips, while he lies back leisurely with Remus’s head propped up on his chest.

“We’re breaking up,” Remus tells him flatly, tracing small circles against Sirius’s tanned skin, interrupted by intermittent pecks.

“Cruel,” Sirius pouts, still carding a hair through Remus’s mussed curls, can’t imagine ever living without this, not after so many years of never ending yearning and countless almosts and taking one step forwards before being pushed two back so many times that it made them bloody barmy.

But they’re here now. Sirius has Remus in ways he never thought he’d ever want to claim a person— and lets himself be claimed in the same ways right back. Sirius knows Remus and all of Remus’s little quirks—  loves him all the more for it. He knows the way Remus likes his tea when he wakes up at three in the morning and can’t go back to bed, how it’s different from the tea he prefers to drink in the afternoons. Knows the way Remus licks the lip of the mug before every sip. Sirius knows Remus’s favorite book for each of his various moods, and knows that on those quiet days— the ones when Remus doesn’t like talking much at all— that Remus only needs time, needs to know that Sirius’ll be there when he wakes up the next morning with sunlit smiles and kisses that taste like violet skies and cinnamon scones and promises meant to be kept.

And of course Sirius will be there, of course he’d have Remus in any and all ways that he’d let him— He knows it in his bones that Remus feels that same crippling sort of devotion for him right back, knows that it’s a once in a life time sort of ordeal. He knows that he’s grateful for every breath they share with one another.

“”A man could take only so much smugness from his boyfriend,” Remus tells Sirius petulantly, the words belied by how he tenderly kisses his chest.

“No but Remus, darling, tel me. Who makes more of an appearance in the sexy thought time? Librarian me or the image of me in the rugby kit.” 

Remus moves to flip him the bird while he nips at the patch of skin he was just lapping at with quiet reverence.

“Ouch!”

“I hate that I told you that.” Remus fumes, actually embarrassed looking as he pulls away from him.

Sirius is frantic when he circles his arms around Remus’s torso and brings his body  back to lie over his own. “Nah, no, gorgeous,  I like it. Gets me going. The idea that you’re so lost on me that you picture me in those different outfits.” Sirius tells him, pressing a kiss of apology to the temple of his head.

“’S not weird Sirius!”

“Course it’s not baby,” Sirius soothes, hand caressing his side meaningfully.

“You’re bloody fit— you know that! ’s totally normal that I’d wanna wank off to my beautiful damn boyfriend.”

“Completely, no one’s arguing against you, baby.”

“Hmm,” Remus huffs before springing up suddenly, pinning Sirius with a suspicious glower. “So what, you don’t ever picture me like that? In your favorite sorts of fantasies.”

Sirius throws back his head, laughing at how distressed he looks. God he’s in love with such a bellend. “Cor! Remus, me calling you Prince Ponce all those years before we finally just shagged wasn’t simply  because you had a royal scepter  up your arse that I wanted to replace with my  prii—“ Remus shoves Sirius hard enough so he won’t finish that line, and honestly? Valid.

“So what? That’s all?” Remus fumes, settling away from him once more.  “You’ve only ever imagined me as some sorta golden boy you wanted to get your grubby hands on?”

“Course not, love, there’s like hundreds I think of.”

“Like what?” Remus needles, and Sirius feels his cheeks burn scarlet as he has to avert his gaze, knowing precisely what his top fantasy is and too nervous to actually say it out loud.

“Oh c’mon Sirius,” Remus sighs, obviously having read the doubt blotched all over his face. “I’ve seen you piss while eating an ice cream cone in a public beach, and that was before we began even dating.”

“’S not my fault that Marlene got stung by that bloody jellyfish!”

“We’ve crossed the possibility of being embarrassed in front of the other long ago,” Remus continues as if Sirius hadn’t interrupted. 

“Ugh fine,” Sirius grouses, tossing himself back on the mattress. “But you swear not to poke fun?”

“You have my word,” Remus says evenly, and gestures at him to continue.

“Okay— Well you don’t know this because we met so much later. But when Jem and I were younger— back in secondary school, maybe.” He coughs only slightly, gaze razor focussed on where he’s tugging on a stray strand of string hanging off the comforter, feeling suddenly very hot under Remus’s appraising gaze. “We, erm. Ahem. We were really bloody bored this one weekend so we watched the Star Wards prequels, you know. Just because everyone’s seen them and all.”

“Mmm, right. I don’t know where you’re going with this though.”

“I’m getting there tosser,” Sirius harrumphs, still doesn’t meet his hazel eyes, even if he’s a bit brassed off.

“All right, well don’t let me stop you.”

“Right, well— Hah.  You know the Empire Strikes Back,” Sirius asks tentatively.

“Course I do,” Remus nods, faltering just slightly once he pieces it together. “Oh.”

“’S just a thing I’ve thought about since I was like thirteen—“ Sirius explains lamely. 

“And you’d— You’d like to see me in that get up?” Remus asks, voice betraying his inhibition.

Sirius has a mild heart attack thinking of Remus— his Remus— in that golden bikini and doing it just  for Sirius and Jesus fuck he can’t even breathe. “Yeah— Yes, ahem, I would really like that.”

“All right,” Remus says with a nod and Sirius’s not really sure what he means by that. Whether it’s a thank you for sharing or a you have my permission to think of it or what, but he doesn’t get the opportunity to ask when there’s the sound of something else crashing in the background followed by  the muffled curse of a voice that is so painfully Peter that it hurts.

“Right, well let’s see if he’s broken anything, shall we?”

.-

A week goes by.

Sirius never really thinks of the conversation they had, supposes it was merely a passing fancy for Remus to be validated that Sirius has those same heated thoughts about him. (Which of fucking course he does. Remus’s the epitome of what it means to be beautiful. A God damn angel— Of bloody course Sirius is completely lost on him. But hey, it might’ve been just one of those insecurities of his, a hurtle  that needed to be past over for them to proceed in their relationship. So yeah,  whatever.) Sirius doesn’t think of it again.

Though the refrain from that is thrown out the God forsaken window on a typical Wednesday morning in the office, when Sirius gets the Snapchat notification that quite literally turns his brain into a stew of slush.

There’s a meeting with Benedict Carro who’s asked the firm to build his newest golf club in Devon, and Sirius is just collecting some of the charts and preliminary sketches from his desk for the impending meeting with the old git.  So he really doesn’t think much of it when he sees his phone light up with a message from Remus, is expecting it to be a picture of his adorably  scrunched up face or of a new addition to his ridiculous collection of candles, or maybe even of the ducks wandering across the hall like they’re occasionally want to do.

What Sirius most certainly does not expect to see is a fucking photograph of two distinct costumes lying on his bed, and the line “Look what came today,” written on the black bar.

“Mother of God,” Sirius thinks that he might be in the midst of an actual fucking seizure, feels his heart palpitating irregularly and his breaths catching and his insides fucking imploding all at once.

He can’t believe that this is a thing that is happening. That Remus went out and bought them just to surprise Sirius with and now he’s teasing him mercilessly because Sirius’s in love with a wicked fucking mastermind. And just, holy fuck.

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

“Mr Black, Mr Carro and his associates are here,” Sirius’s newest assistant— Benjy Fenwick, says in a tone that makes it obvious that he’s been trying to get Sirius’s attention for quite a while now and is about fed up. Sirius is really tempted to flip his phone around and show him a photograph of how insanely sexy Remus is, then he’ll surely understand the reason why Sirius’s been dissolved into a puddle of pure longing for the day to be over. But he ultimately reasons that wouldn’t be exactly appropriate, technically being Benjy’s boss and all, even though they’re nearly the same age.

But yeah— not a good look.

So he hurriedly texts back that Remus is the absolute devil incarnate before shutting off his phone and following Benjy into one of the meeting rooms in the back— trying to muster an air of nonchalance even if the image of Remus in that God damn Princess Leia bikini, is permanently  scorched into his every thought.

.-

“Sirius spent the rest of that afternoon sending admittedly explicit texts to Remus about all the things he wants to do to him that night, and practically sores back to their building when he leaves work.

Thankfully Remus had taken care of getting the place to their selves that night, so all Sirius has to do now is jump around from foot to foot in his room, beyond jittery in anticipation of Remus finally coming out the closet dressed in Sirius’s greatest fantasy of all time.

“Is the music absolutely necessary?” Remus calls out through the closed door.

“Yes,” Sirius says in a tone that’s about two octaves higher than his usual speaking voice, so beyond flustered. “’S for the ambiance Lupin!”

“Oy, if I had known this was such a thing for you, I would’ve done it earlier,” Remus snorts, walking out in a white bathrobe that gives nothing away as he eyes Sirius in the Han Solo outfit he got— complete with a fake blaster pistol and its holster. “You look so cute.”

“You’re a God,” Sirius tells him in aw, reaching a gentle hand over to run through  his dark, tawny curls. 

Remus rolls his eyes, but Sirius catches the smirk he’s wrestling down on his lips. “I love you.”

“I know,” Sirius breathes, padding up closer to him and kissing Remus slow and thorough, a tender hand caressing his cheek.

“God save the queen, that reference  actually did something for me,” Remus chuckles, but Sirius can’t respond, has permanently lost all ability to function or piece together words once he spots how Remus loosens the knot on his robe and slinks it off to reveal miles and miles of bare skin, only slightly concealed by the golden bikini of his fantasies, even complete with purple little frills that dangle off the hips.

Sirius realizes that he must’ve been gaping by the way Remus waves a hand in front of his face, “Earth to Sirius? Is this not how you pictured it? Did I get the wrong model or—“ Sirius shuts him up with a heated and desperate kiss that leaves them both breathless by the time they separate.

“Remus, please, for the love of God, get on that bed and wait for me to decide what I want to do with you."

With a  small grin turning up the corner of his lips, Remus nods eagerly, perching up on the edge of Sirius’s bed and blinking up at him— practically imploring  for Sirius to finally just have his wicked way with him already.

Sirius mildly thinks that he doesn’t deserve such a gift, but gets distracted when Remus separates his legs a little further and he can spot the way his dick is poking out the metallic colored panties, throbbing with anticipation.

“Budge up, I want your back against the headboard,” Sirius demands lowly, and Remus is quick to comply.

On his knees, Sirius shuffles up close enough to clamp his hands on Remus’s inner thighs, pulls them further apart as he smacks a hard kiss to Remus’s mouth, slowly moving to  nose at the edge of his cheek and ear as he tells him in a very quiet, very deliberate tone to keep his hands above his head. “You’re a good boy, baby, so I won’t tie them, but you’re gonna keep them up there and you’re not gonna move them, okay?”

Remus, already completely flushed, nods vigorously. He prefers staying quiet when they get like this— Sirius would ordinarily prod at him a little to get some words out, but he’s far too distracted right now.

He kisses across Remus’s protruding collarbone, thinks of how swan like and gentle his features are. How Remus’s a work of art and how he wants Sirius more than breathing, how that’s splayed all over his face, especially now.  And God, how heady of a thrill.

Sirius kisses down the line of his chest and stomach muscles with slow precision, nuzzles against the material of the bikini before he nearly breaks the left strap trying to get at Remus’s left nipple, teeth grinding and playing with the ball— biting a little harder when Remus whimpers, trying to cant his hips upwards.

Sirius pulls back, pinching his side lightly. “Stay still,” he reproves, excepts it wen Remus quietly apologizes, ducking his head down to the other nipple now, his hands tenderly petting against Remus’s sides as he sucks on it with the same ferocity.

“Sir—Sirius, please,” Remus begs from above him, head tossed back to show off the long trail of his beautiful neck.

“You’ve been teasing me all day, baby,” Sirius tells him in a voice that’s barely above a whisper, beginning to mouth against the light feathering of pale hair that runs down Remus’s torso, leading to his dick.

“I’m sorry,” Remus tells him, bottom lip worried between his teeth.

“Shh, it’s ok, I got you,” Sirius kisses the point right beneath his naval, and he ducks down to what he was trying to get at in the first place 

“Turn around,” he tells him, words clipped. “ON all fours.”

Remus looks relieved to finally be able and do something as he tells him “Yes,” and flips over,  already rigid with anticipation.

“You’re so good for me, baby,” Sirius tells him, places a hand on the small of Remus’s back for leverage as he kisses the smattering of freckles that dance over  Remus’s thighs. God he has such amazing thighs, strong and elegant and Sirius’s favorite thing is when he gets to kiss them like this, to nip at them and hear the little, abrupt inhale that Remus sucks in at the touch. “Stay good for me, okay,” Sirius tells him as he takes his hands and he spreads open Remus’s asscheeks, revealing the little, dark hole Sirius has spent many a night moaning exaltations towards.

Softly, and with hot breaths Sirius pulls to the side the weak material of the thong, peppers kisses all around Remus’s ass before dipping down deeper and lapping a tongue against the tiny, fluttering ring of wrinkled skin.

“Sirius, please,” Remus moans pushing closer to the hot sensation.

“I got you, sweetheart,” Sirius tells him, lips pressed against him as Sirius kisses the entrance adoringly—tongue plunging  inside deeper, harder, slower. And he loves this, the sensation of it, of Remus coming undone in his very hands.

Sirius is about to wrap a hand around the length of him, to stroke in tandem with his worshiping with his mouth, but suddenly there little moment of bliss is cut by the sound of insistent and boisterous knocking.

“Ignore it,”

“It could be important,” Remus argues weakly, obviously all levels of regretful as he peers over his shoulder.

“Fuck it, who cares, ’s my flat and they can sod off!”

Remus presses his lips together, looking like he might agree, but then comes a new round of rapping, and Sirius sees the resolve in his face.

“Oh bloody hell! Fine!” Sirius fumes, scrambling up. “But if it’s someone trying to sell me shit, I’ve got the legal obligation to punch them in the face!”

“Of course darling,” Remus smiles at him, and it’s the only thing that gives Sirius enough strength to swagger towards the front and open the door without already being in mid shout. Though, what he doesn’t expect to happen is to find his adoptive mother of all fucking people on the other side.

“Mum?”

“Sirius? Love?” Dr Potter greets, eyeing him worriedly with a tsk, bringing a small, brown hand to his forehead as if to take his temperature and making it so Sirius flinches back. “Why do you look all red, and honey it’s not October yet, what’s with the outfit?”

“Mum!, why are you here!” Sirius asks instead, avoiding the question all together, voice completely strangled.

“Oh, well James called me to check up on the ducks this Friday, but I was in town with an old girlfriend, so I reckoned I’d just pop over, see if you guys needed anything for me to bring you.” She explains blithely, still looking up at him with concern. “Your taking care of yourself, aren’t you dearest? You’re not working too hard?”

Sirius panics, tries to think of a perfectly plausible excuse besides the obvious— So but of course that’s right when Remus decides to shout from the bed. “Sirius who’s at the door?” And no! Jesus no!

“Remus? Lovey?” his mum calls back.

“Oh— Erm. Dr Potter.” Remus has stepped out of his room now, mercifully already back in his robe. “I didn’t know we were expecting you,” he says  with a pale color tinting his pillar, like he’s about to be sick.

Okay, yup, Sirius’s erection has died forever now after hearing Remus speaking to Sirius’s bloody mother dressed like that.

Fuck his life.

“Are you boys okay? Did I— Did I interrupt something?”

“Mum! James is just out to dinner with Lily! We’re fine, honest! And erm, we can’t wait to see you Friday night!”

“Oh dearest, I’m sorry I didn’t realize you  guys— ah dressed up—“ Dr Potter flushes, but there is definite amusement glittering in her eyes, and that’s right when Sirius slams his hand against his face and retreats back to the bedroom, barely hearing it when she bids farewell to Remus and tells Sirius to call her tomorrow.

“I reckon we won’t be continuing?” Remus asks, a total giggle to his words. Holy fucking shite! Everyone in his life are such pricks!

“I’m jumping off the balcony!” Sirius screams back in response, plunging his head into the pillows and contemplating everything that’s brought him to this point.

~My Wolfstar FIC Masterlist~

[eloquent-vowel]

Part 2 "I am" Bucky x OFC (#043)

Description: #043 is Dr. Leeb's greatest success. He took immense pride in raising her to be the perfect combatent and it was finally time for her skills to be put to use. His only worry is bringing outside variables into his perfect equation but when the heads of Hydra give you orders, you follow them. #043 is sent on her first mission and things do not go as planned.

Tags: Angst, Fluff, Slow burn, very much a slow burn. Bucky Barnes x OFC, Winter Soldier X OFC.

Warnings: Canon typical violence

Here is the second part of #043's story! I'm sorry there is no Bucky yet but I can promise that he will be coming in soon! (I did say that this would be a slow burn). Enjoy! <3

Part 1

Dr. Leeb sniffed again, those damn cleaning products always set him off, he had tried his damn hardest to get used to the smell of the sterile facilities but even after thirteen years his nose would not stop running, it was so embarrassing. Especially at a time like this, when he was in conference with the very head of Hydra. They had contacted his lab about using #043 in the field, he had agreed without hesitation- he knew his project was ready and he could hardly contain his excitement as the General laid out the mission briefing. It was finally time to show the whole of Hydra just what he could achieve, they would finally respect his mind.

"Dr. Leeb we have read your reports, #043, code name Eris, sounds very promising. Can you back up your claims?" The man known as The General spoke, his voice although tinny through the speakers of his office carried a deep undertone of threat. If Dr. Leeb was not sweating before he was now, he had rehearsed for this moment all he had to do was speak. He cleared his throat, sniffed and dapped at his forehead with his handkerchief.

"Well, General." He cursed his voice for coming out higher than normal. "As you know former experiments for the Eris project came up negative but #043 is different, whether this is due to her age or her biology I do not know, there is a possibilty-"

"Dr. Leeb, cut to the chase, what can she do?"

"Ah, right" He loosened his tie a bit, were the fans even working in here? "Yes, #043 is the perfect blend between technology and humanity. She arrived to us in a... less than ideal state this has meant that her left leg had to be amputated above the knee and her right leg was amputated below the knee, her legs were replaced with advanced prosthetics, based upon the Winter Soldier project. These were replaced to grow with her, it was a marvel really how we managed to make them grow perfectly wi-"

"Doctor!"

"Ah, sorry, yes, well. These legs allow her to run faster than the average human being, she has reached over speeds of 60mph - this of course is helped with the super soldier serum that she has adapted to perfectly. The serum, of course, has made her taller, stronger and altogether better. She is only 16 and has already grown to be 6 feet tall, it is likely that she can grow more, she can lift her body weight easily. She has also received the benefits of advanced healing, there has yet to be an injury that has not healed within the day. #043 is trained in Muay Thai, Judo, Comat Sambo to name a few, she has mastered firearms and the use of close combat weaponry- being most proficient in the use of brass knuckles. Her senses are enhanced by the serum have given her a great skill in prediction. She is brutal, cold and most importantly, loyal to Hydra."

Dr. Leeb nervously pushed up his glasses, it was impossible to read what The General was feeling. The man's face was eternally stuck in a position of serious anger- it was rather intimidating.

"This sounds promising Dr. Leeb. I read that she was trained intellectually as well?"

"Yes, yes #043 can speak Russian, English, German, Chinese, Japanese, French, Romanian and Spanish fluently and has been taught how to use the most advanced technologies. Her physical training has always taken priority, however, but I can assure you General that if you have a wall to break through she can do it."

There was a beat of silence as the General seemed to mull something over, there was a rustle of paper on the other side of the monitor. Dr. Leeb took in some deep breaths as he waited for the General to say something, dabbing at his forehead once more to try and get rid of the sweat dripping down his brow.

"Is it true, Dr. Leeb, that you believe she could take out the Winter Soldier?"

"Yes." Dr. Leeb answered without hesitation. "We are waiting for confirmation from the scientist on the Winter Soldier project but we are scheduling for them to meet. Remember she is has yet to reach full maturation, there is no doubt that she could best the Soldier when she is fully formed, we just wish to... encourage her to see him as a threat and enemy."

"Your faith is evident, Leeb, very well, here is the details of the mission- if she fails it will be on your head Doctor."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

#043 was training, as usual, she was in the middle of combat training facing of against a large group of hydra soldiers. While she knew she could defeat them one on one, having six of them attack at the same time was proving much more difficult. It was practically impossible to dodge and block every hit coming her way, much less think about landing a punch. She currently unarmed so at least two hits on vital areas would be necessary to knock one soldier unconscious. As she was dodging she began to form a plan, she would have to spread the soldiers out, she could tackle one down and run through them but they would see that coming a mile away, she could try throwing one away but that would take far too much time. There was only one option left, to jump.

#043 stopped dodging and planted her feet, she doubled her efforts to block incoming blows and began to tense her knees. The mechanical legs clanked and whirred as the cogs inside them tightened- the only warning any of the soldiers got was the hissing of hydraulics as #043 released the tension within her legs and shot straight over the heads of the group of soldiers. She twisted in the air and landed heavily in the ground with a loud cracking sound as the concrete broke below her. She was now facing the bewildered looking group of soldiers, she smirked, as they began to run to her. Just as they reached her she jumped once more, landing right at the back by the slowest member. They were down in two swift blows to their kidney's and temple. This unfair game of cat and mouse continued until it was only two soldiers remaining.

The following fight was easy to her. One of the soldiers was taken out by a high kick to the head from her left leg and a solid stomp to the sternum cracking numerous ribs and collapsing his chest. The other was simply ended by a push kick to the chest to put them off balance and #043 swiftly grabbed one of their legs and threw them into the far wall where they impacted with a harsh thud, leaving a rather large dent in the plaster. #043 drew in a deep breath and relaxed, letting her hands fall to her sides just as the voice of Dr. Leeb entered the sandpit.

"Well done, #043! You continue to improve day by day." She felt her eye twitch as he sniffed once more. "I have some good news for you, you are to go outside."

"Outside?" Her voice was gravelly from lack of use.

"Yes, you are about to go on your first mission, it is a rather simple one mind you- I think the General is just trying to test me with this- I have no doubt that you will succeed with flying colours, you are my perfect equation."

"What will I have to do?"

"You are to infiltrate the home of a Mr. Hugo Malet, a prominent figure in the arms trade. Hydra has a target on his head and you, my dear, have the honour of being the gun who aims for it." Dr. Leeb began walking away, gesturing for #043 to follow. She eyed her trainer waiting for permission. The stern woman just gave a nod and #043 was off walking just behind Dr. Leeb, peering over his shoulder to the files he held in his hand. He continued to brief her all the way to his office.

"Mr. Malet here has a holiday chalet in the French Alps, a rather modest six bedroom, five bathroom ordeal, wholly unnecessary for his family of four but if you have the money. Such a shame he got that money by selling weapons to the wrong people. Here." Dr. Leeb sat in his desk chair before sliding the file over to #043. "Look at him, memorise his face, his family is meant to join him in the chalet in a week but if there are any others witness you must eliminate them as well- do you understand?"

"Yes sir."

"Good. Repeat it to me."

"Hugo Malet, Chalet, French alps, no witnesses, no traces left behind."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In the helicopter over to the Alps #043 did not know who was more nervous, her or Dr. Leeb who had insisted on monitoring the mission in person. The plan was simple, she would parachute down to the drop zone two miles away from the chalet and run to the chalet where, under the cover of night, #043 would erase the traitors.

"T-10 mins until deployment."

The announcement over the intercom spurred her into action, she began triple checking her harness and parachute, placed the night vision goggles over her eyes and ensured that the mask covering the lower half of her face was secure. Once she was sure she was ready she took her position. The side door opened to reveal the pitch black, snowy exterior of the alps, the temperature was immediately freezing . Dr. Leeb piped up behind her.

"Do not disappoint me #043, once this goes successfully the Eris project will be a reality. You know what will happen if you fail."

#043 shivered at the threat, memories enclosed walls, electric chairs and sore flesh flickering in her mind and with a single nod she jumped.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The run to the chalet had been uneventful and soon the chalet was in view. There was a warm glow coming from within and through the window #043 could see the figure of her target walking around the lower floors.

"Status report" The voice of Dr. Leeb crackled through her earpiece.

"Target sighted, moving to engage."

Armed only with a silenced pistol and her brass knuckles she moved stealthily through the pine trees until she found the backdoor. Much to her joy it was unlocked and she entered silently. There was the faint sound of some sort of soft music playing in the front room, following the noise she crept towards the slightly ajar door down the corridor.

She entered the room, pistol first, to see Hugo Malet sipping wine on the couch, sitting in front of the fireplace a woman - presumably his wife- under his arm. Without hesitation #043 shot both figures through the back of the head, killing them instantly. She approached the bodies, turning them both over to confirm their identities.

"Target is dead, his wife also."

"Great job, #043, no witnesses. Return to Location Alpha"

#043 stared at the two bodies for too long. They were slumped, still cuddled against one another, their eyes dull and lifeless. If it wasn't for the bullet hole through their foreheads'. Their lives had so easily been ended, they had not even seen it coming. She had taken lives before, but they had always been fighting her- it was her or them. This was new, the easy kills. The easy killing felt wrong, she felt wrong, her hands began to shake. Her mask began to feel too tight, the air in the room was too dense for her to breathe- desperately she made her way to the window- opening it to let the fresh air hit her face.

"Mummy? Daddy? Can I have some hot chocolate?"

#043 froze, the voice was high pitched, a child's voice, her head turned in horror to watch the door to the front room open and the Malet's youngest son enter the room. His face immediately creased into confusion, too young to understand why his parents were slumped, motionless on the couch. He was so small. #043 knew about the concept of children, she was certain she herself must have been one at some point, but she had never realised how small they are. This one must have only reached her knees, his small arms were reaching for his parent's until he caught #043 in his sight. She slowly raised her pistol.

"Who are you?" The small child asked

"I am..." she stuttered, who was she? A number? How old was she? Was she once this child, this small, this helpless, this clueless, this... innocent? The boy's eyes shone with tears and fear.

"Are you a friend of Daddy's?"

Such innocence, so small, every fibre of #043's being was screaming at her- no witnesses- but her hand was shaking, her hands never shook, there was some p[art of her that refused to harm this child. The longer she looked into his eyes the farther down she pointed her pistol.

"I am..."

But if she left this child alive she would be put in that chair again, she would be hit and placed in that tiny room, she would be a failure and Dr. Leeb would be disappointed in her. She slowly began to walk towards the small child who simply looked up at her, wide eyed and teary.

"Who..." The child's voice faded away as #043 was looked directly down at him.

"I am... Eris."

With that Eris hit the child over the head with the butt of her pistol , enough to knock him unconscious but not enough to kill him, then fired a shot into the ground by his head, she hoped that an ambulance would arrive soon. She took a deep breath before climbing out the window, leaving the crime scene behind.

"Returning to Location Alpha, No witnesses remain."

Part 3

[dontmeantobepoliticalbut]

Trump & the Military

(This was shamelessly copy/pasted from OP on Reddit (u/myusernameiscool1234, thanks dude!) because it needs to be spread and I wanted to update a tad, add links and reformat it so it's easier to follow. I'm sure I'm missing stuff, so feel free to add to it and I'll try to update accordingly. Please Share!)

On Military Service

• Trump dodged the draft 5 times, 4 for college and 1 by having a doctor diagnose him with bone spurs.

• Trump said having unprotected sex was his own personal Vietnam (1998)

• Trump said “I felt that I was in the military in the true sense because I dealt with those people” because he went to a military-style academy and that he has “more training militarily than a lot of the guys that go into the military”. (2015 biography)

• Trump accepted a Purple Heart from a fan at one of his rallies and said: “I always wanted to get the Purple Heart. This was much easier.” (Aug 2, 2016)

• ⁠No Trump in America has ever served in the military; this spans 5 generations, and every branch of the family tree. In fact, the reason his grandfather immigrated to America was to avoid military service

• Trump made his 2nd wife, Marla Maples, sign a prenup that would have cut off all child support if Tiffany joined the military (reported on June 4th, 2019)

Use & Treatment of Military

• He sent commandos into an ambush due to a lack of intel, and sends contractors to pick them up, resulting in a commando being left behind, tortured, and executed. (Trump approved the mission because Bannon told him Obama didn’t have the guts to do it) (Oct 4, 2017)

• He forgot the aforementioned fallen soldier’s name during a call to his pregnant widow, then attacked her the next day (Oct 23-24, 2017)

• He urged Florida to not count deployed military votes (Nov 12, 2018)

• He used troops as a political prop by sending them on a phantom mission to the border and made them miss Thanksgiving with their families (Oct-Dec, 2018).

• He stopped using troops as a political prop immediately after the election. However, the troops remained in muddy camps on the border (Nov 7, 2018).

• He called troops on Thanksgiving and told them he’s most thankful for himself (Thanksgiving, 2018)

• He fired service members living with HIV just before the 2018 holidays (Dec 19, 2018-present)

• He finally visited troops 2 years after taking office, but only after 154 vacation days at his properties (Dec 26, 2018)

• Trump lied to deployed troops that he gave them a 10% raise. He didn’t give them a 10% raise (Dec 26, 2018). He initially tried to give the military a raise that was lower than the standard living adjustment. This was before Congress told him that idea wasn’t going to work. Then after giving them the raise that Congress made him, he lied about it pretending that it was larger than Obama’s. It wasn’t.

• He revealed a covert Seal Team 5 deployment , including names and faces, on Twitter during his visit to Iraq. Endangering both the operatives and their families. (Dec 26, 2018)

• He refused to sign his party’s funding bill, which shut down the government, and forced a branch of the military (see below) to go without pay. This branch of military was forced to work without pay, otherwise they would be AWOL. However, his appointees got a $ 10,000 pay raise (Dec 22, 2018 – Jan 25, 2019)

• He didn’t pay the Coast Guard, forcing service members to rely on food pantries (Jan 23, 2019)

• He denied female troops access to birth control to limit sexual activity (on-going. Published Jan 18, 2019)

• He banned service members from serving based on gender identity (Jan 22, 2019)

• He diverted military housing funds to pay for border wall (Feb 15, 2019). A judge subsequently denied this. In July 2019, SCOTUS ruled that Trump could in fact divert military housing funds to pay for his wall.

• Trump pardoned war criminals (May, 2019)

• In May 2019, Trump turned away US military from his Memorial Day speech because they were from the destroyer USS John S. McCain. Trump initially ordered the USS John McCain out of sight during his visit to Japan (May 15, 2019) which led to the ship’s name subsequently being covered. (May 27, 2019)

• In June 2019, Trump sent troops to the border to paint the fence for a better “aesthetic appearance” (June 7, 2019)

• Trump demanded US military chiefs stand next to him at 4th of July parade (reported July 2, 2019)

• Trump made the U.S. Navy Blue Angels violate ethics rules by having them fly at his July 4th political campaign (July 4, 2019)

• On July 31, 2019, Trump ordered the Navy rescind medals to prosecutors who were prosecuting war criminals.

• On ⁠October 8th, 2019, Trump plans to withdraw from Open Skies treaty giving Russia the ability to target our military aircraft.

Attacks on Service Members

• Trump said he doesn’t consider POWs heroes because they were caught. Says he "prefers people who were not caught" (July 18, 2015)

• He said he knows more about ISIS than American generals (Oct 2016)

• Trump attacks Gold Star families including: Myeshia Johnson — a gold star widow and the Khan family—gold star parents (2016-present)

• He called a retired general a ‘dog’ with a ‘big, dumb mouth’ (Jan 1, 2019)

• Well documented dislike of Sen. John McCain, going back to his statement on POWs (see above) and leading up to McCain’s passing. On March 20, 2019, Trump complained that deceased war hero, Sen. John McCain, didn’t thank him for his funeral.

• Trump started his D-Day commemoration speech by attacking a private citizen (Bette Midler, of all people) (reported on June 4th, 2019)

• Trump used his D-Day interview at a cemetery commemorating fallen US soldiers to attack Robert Muller, former FBI special counsel and a Vietnam veteran (June 6, 2019)

• Children of deployed US troops will no longer get automatic American citizenship if born overseas during deployment. This includes US troops posted abroad for years at a time (August 28, 2019)

• After he pleading with superiors in a letter asking to offload most of the sailors on the ship in order to allow for social distancing and sanitizing the USS Theodore Roosevelt, Trump attacks Capt. Crozier calling his letter “terrible” and "not appropriate” leading the Secretary of the Navy to remove Capt. Crozier from his post. 114 of 4,000 sailors on the ship had already tested po sitive for COVID-19. (April 3, 2020)

• On June 24, 2020, the White House ends the National Guard's deployments to assist the American people during the COVID-19 pandemic, the day before thousands of National Guard members would qualify for early retirement and education benefits under the Post-9/11 GI bill.

Immigrants in the military

• He deported veterans (2017-present)

• He ordered the discharge of active-duty immigrant troops with good records (2017-present)

• Trump doubled the rejection rate for veterans requesting family deportation protections (July 5, 2018)

• Trump deported active-duty spouses (11,800 military families face this problem as of April 2018).

• Trump deported a spouse of fallen Army soldier killed in Afghanistan, leaving their daughter parentless. The US has since overturned this as of April 16, 2019.

• In July 2019, Trump denied a United States Marine of 6 years entry into the United States for his scheduled citizenship interview (Reported July 17, 2019)

Treatment of Veterans

• For a decade, Trump sought to kick veterans off of Fifth Avenue because he found them unsightly nuisances outside of Trump Tower. Being quoted as saying, “While disabled veterans should be given every opportunity to earn a living, is it fair to do so to the detriment of the city as a whole or its tax paying citizens and businesses?” in 1991.

• Trump sent funds raised from a January 2016 veterans’ benefit to the Donald J Trump Foundation instead of veteran’s charities (Jan, 2016). The foundation has since been ordered shut because of fraud and Trump to pay $2 million in damages as of November 2019.

• The controversy surrounding wether or not he said vets get PTSD because they "aren’t strong" (Oct 3, 2016)

• He blocked a veteran group on Twitter (June 2017)

• Trump changed the GI Bill through his Forever GI Act.

• Trump changing the GI Bill caused the VA to miss veteran benefits, including housing allowances and forced many veterans to run out of food and rent. “You can count on us to serve, but we can’t count on the VA to make a deadline,” one veteran said. (reported October 7, 2018)

• While in Europe commemorating the end of WWI, he didn’t attend the ceremony at a US cemetery due to the rain – but other world leaders went anyway (Nov 10, 2018)

• He got three Mar-a-Lago guests to run the VA (unknown start – present, made well-known in 2018)

• He increased privatization of the VA, leading to longer waits and higher taxpayer cost (2018)

• He tried to slash disability and unemployment benefits for Veterans to $0, and eliminate the unemployability extrascheduler rating (Dec 17, 2018)

• He canceled an Arlington Cemetery visit on Veterans Day due to light rain (Nov 12, 2018)

• He tried to deport a marine vet who is a U.S.-born citizen (Jan 16, 2019). He deported countless other veterans (2017-present)

• When a man was caught swindling veterans’ pensions for high-interest “cash advances,” Trump’s Consumer Financial Protection Bureau fined him $1. As a reminder, the Trump administration’s goal was to dismantle the CFPB, installing Mick Mulvaney as the director, who publicly stated the bureau should be disbanded. (Jan 26, 2019)

• Trump purged 200,000 veterans’ healthcare applications (due to known administrative errors within VA’s enrollment process and enrollment system) (reported on May 13, 2019)

• On August 2, 2019, Trump requisitioned military retirement funds towards the border wall.

[trojc-rewrite]

The Rise of Jimmy Casket Rewrite, Chapter 5

Tw - Past Loss

——————————————————————————

The three of them reached the hotel room, and the first thing all three of them did was throw themselves on the mattresses. The room itself wasn’t too big, two queen sizes and a small loveseat, as well as a bathroom and a counter with a microwave and a coffee maker on it.

Toast sighed, lounging on the mattress. Ghost came out of the bathroom, wiping his hands off on his red t-shirt. He looked at him, wrinkling his nose. “At least shower before getting on the bed you dirty ass dope.” He said, frowning.

Toast laughed a small bit, sinking more into the bed. “Not like you’ve never been this dirty laying in bed sir.”

Spooker and Colon looked up slightly from their makeshift pillow fort, entertained by their conversation. Ghost gave him a snarky look, and sat down on the edge of the bed. He looked tired, but not as tired as Toast felt. His limbs felt so heavy, like weights holding him to the bed.

“Long day.” Ghost said finally, messing with a piece of torn thread. Toast nodded.

Spooker stirred from the other bed, a pillow squishing from under his weight. He cleared his voice quietly. “Hey, Ghost?”

Ghost looked over at him, raising a brow. “Yeah?” He asked, sounding somewhat irritated. Spooker ignored his tone, scooching himself forwards from the side of the bed.

“Why did you leave?” He asked softly, cuddling a pillow close to his chest. Ghost’s face went white, before turning red. His tired expression morphed into one of anxiety, avoiding eye contact with the ginger.

“Don’t feel forced to answer sir, you don’t have to-“. Ghost cut Toast off.

“No! No, I do want to tell you all, it’s just, hard.” He said slowly, processing his words. He gave Toast an apologetic look. “Sorry.”

Toast sat up, nodding. “It’s okay.”

The brunet nodded, and took a deep breath.

“I left to protect you all.” He started. “I was getting worse, something was wrong with me. There was this voice in my mind, like anxiety but so much worse. Violent, horrible thoughts. ‘I could kill him for you.’ And, ‘I can protect you.’. It was like the voice knew me.”

Ghost swallowed, Toast noticed him beginning to clench the blanket. He sat forward, fighting off the urge to touch him, he knew that touching him would only make him worse.

“I didn’t want to hurt any of you, even if you all deserve it sometimes. So, I left. To get help for the voice, I knew it wasn’t just anxiety. It was a thing. So, I read around, and got help. One exorcism type thing later, it’s gone.”

He sighed shakily. “The thing called itself Jimmy, and it was not happy that I got rid of it. Or I guess him, but he wasn’t just pissed. He seemed desperate, like, hurt and frantic.

He pleaded like he knew me, ‘No! You can’t get hurt! I have to protect you!’ His head bled, like it had a hole in it. It was horrible. I told him no, and he just.”

Ghost wiped his eyes, the event was hard for him to talk about and Toast wanted to shut it down, but he kept talking.

“He said, ‘Then I’ll make myself come back.’ And then he left. But I knew what he meant. He was coming after you, and the other two. I couldn’t let that happen to you guys, so I left to find you three.” Ghost finished, and looked at Toast with a tired look in his eye. “So that’s why I left.”

Silence hung in the air, thick with anxiety and confusion. And then, Colon jumped up suddenly from the bed, causing pillows to lurch off the mattress. “The scratches!” He cried, “The scratches, the fire, Gavin. It’s all connected!”

Ghost turned to him, his nose scrunched in confusion. “What? What happened that you three didn’t tell me?”

Colon grabbed Spooker, peeling the bandaid off of his neck. The wound was healing, red and scabbed over, with dried blood sticking to the skin. Spooker flailed, smacking his hands against Colon's arm. “We left because we had started seeing these cuts on each other, as well as other wounds like bruises and scratches. Toast has some, I have a big bruise, and this is Spooker’s wound. Toast decided it had something to do with you so we left. Admittedly, I didn’t believe him at first, but he was right.”

Ghost stared at him, wide eyed. “Okay, and about the fire?”

“Well, we were staying at this gross motel and then, we woke up and it was lit on fire. Like in flames. We escaped but that's how Toast got his wound.” Spooker explained, now removed from Colons grasp.

Toast nodded as Ghost turned to him. “Another bizarre thing; we checked out the wreckage in the morning, and in the wood were these green vein-like things. They were glowing.”

Colon settled on the edge of the bed, making eye contact with Toast. “I wonder if it wasn’t Gavin that started the fire. When he hit you on the bridge, he had those lime green flames. They looked almost identical to the ones at the fire site.”

Ghost sighed. “All this for an exorcism. Who does this Ghost think he is and why does he care so much about who’s head he’s in. If I were a ghost, I’d be happy as hell to leave somebody’s head.”

Toast shrugged, “To be honest with you sir, I would have no idea.”

Spooker looked at Toast, “That reminds me, Toast, that night of the fire you were having a weird dream. We could tell, you were whispering about some ‘Mary’ girl. What was that about?”

Toast stiffened, and Ghost’s face turned angry. He spun to Spooker, glaring, “Hey! Don’t you-“

“It’s all right sir, he doesn’t know. It’s not his fault.”

Toast blinked away tears, closing his hands softly around his ring. It took a few minutes to get the words out, they were stuck in his throat, struggling to leave.

“Mary was my wife.” He said quietly, breathing out. Spooker and Colon stared at him. His heart seemed to beat in slow motion, his stomach filled with grief. It had been years since her death, but every time the wound opened it bled again. He closed his eyes, trying to calm down. A few tears fell down his face and he bit his lip.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know. Toast I am so sorry.”

Spooker said quietly. Toast could hear him shuffle off the bed, and he could feel the bed's weight shift as he sat next to him. Ghost huffed quietly from beside him, but Toast was thankful when he didn’t raise an argument.

“It’s all right.” He said solemnly. Ghost sat closer to him, he could feel his best friend's warmth on his side, showing as much affection as he could muster in the moment.

“I bet she was amazing.” Spooker murmured. Toast smiled.

“She was. Her smile was as bright as the sun, and it made you feel warm from head to toe. She had these beautiful hazel eyes, so filled with love. She was beautiful, but her personality was even more beautiful. She was sweet, and caring. But she had that kick to her, sarcasm that could almost beat Ghost.”

Ghost stifled a small chuckle beside him, and Toast knew he was thinking about the time the two had a sarcasm match. Ghost had barely won.

“She would have liked you Spooker, she would’ve liked Colon too.”

Toast dried his tears, sniffling.

Ghost turned to him, his green eye round. “You okay?” He asked.

Toast nodded, “I’ll be okay sir. So, anyways, back to the mission.”

Colon snorted from the other bed, “We can worry about the mission in the morning. It’s late, you and Ghost just got done crying, and you’ve almost died twice in the last 24 hours. We all need sleep.”

Ghost nodded, “And we need to get you to a doctor tomorrow morning too. That leg looks bad, if we wait any longer you could need an amputation.”

Toast let out a groan, “But-“

Ghost shook his head, “Absolutely no buts. This is coming from me, Johnny. Sleep, then I’ll take you to the doctors.”

Spooker looked at Ghost with a confused face. “Can you even drive Ghost?” Ghost rolled his eye.

“Of course I can!” He snapped. “I just don’t most of the time because Toast offers too.” He slipped under the covers, snorting.

“Now shut off the light I’m going to bed.” Ghost grumbled, turning face down on the pillow.

“I’ll sleep on the love seat.” Toast got up, but Ghost grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him down back onto the mattress.

“No. Now get the fuck in bed and sleep.” Ghost demanded. Toast bit back an argument, and slipped under the cover.

Toast felt the warmth settle over him, immediately melting into the mattress. He felt so warm and at ease, like he’d never get up. Colon reached up and turned the fan off, the light going with it.

The air conditioning hummed quietly from the window, keeping Toast at the perfect temperature. Ghost flipped over in the bed, “Hey Toast.”

“Yes sir?” Toast whispered back to his friend.

Ghost shuffled under the covers, “I hope you sleep well.” He whispered awkwardly. Toast smiled.

“You too sir.” He chuckled.

Spooker leaned up in his bed, “Awwwwww.”

Ghost flipped over aggressively. “I’ll kick the shit out of you.” He threatened, throwing a pillow at him. Spooker dodged it, and Colon let out a yelp as it hit him instead.

“Not! Cool! Ghost!” Colon yelled.

Spooker laughed, “Yeah Ghost, don’t throw pillows at Colon.”

Ghost huffed and fell back into bed. Toast smiled so wide he thought his cheeks would fall off.

‘Together at last.’ He thought to himself. Tiredness overwhelmed him, dragging him into sleep.

——————————————————————————

POV - Toast’s wife is dead

[iwriteficsandmore]

A Little Piece of You

Oh shit, haha! Forgot to put a preview here. Hi! I’m alive! Have been busy writing for my other WIPs but wanted to get this out here bc I love you guys and also this was a cute af soulmate au. Thanks to @insanemarshmallow for the wonderful explanation of this chibi soulmate AU! Also god bless the settphel pairing of league of legends. It gave me the right amount of inspiration for a cute and angtsy oneshot :D

For a child, it's a wondrous thought the one of knowing you would one day find a soulmate. Even more so when you constantly saw it everywhere you went. People going about their lives with cute tiny versions of that one person that belonged with them and whom they were to spend the rest of their lives with. It was a fairytale on its own. One that became yours to live once you turned eighteen and that little piece of them came to you. It was a strange thing to see it happen, but just as great as you thought it'd be when a tiny version of your soulmate hatched from its egg. It had been born alongside you, a reminder that you, too, had someone waiting for you once you grew. You took care of that egg when young knowing how precious it was after hearing so many stories of happily ever afters. And now you finally had it. Alive. 

The first thing that came out of the shell when it broke were red feathers. They poked out somewhat matted and ruffled as it finally emerged and huge amber eyes met yours. His tiny hands ruffled his dark blonde hair back. Chills ran down him as he shook himself out of his stupor and traveled from his head all the way to his toes and tiny wings, sprouting at the end like a blown-up balloon. He was adorable. And the first and only thing he said was his name: Keigo. Finally, you had your very own soulmate! 

But...the experience of having a soulmate was tiring to say the least. 

You didn't know if it was just Keigo, but taking care of this particular red bird was a full-time job. Quirks were already a problem to deal with in and of themselves. But that the small part of your soulmate's soul could readily use those wings of his to fly all around your house was a bigger problem in itself. When you got him at first you thought about keeping him in a cage whenever you had to go out and couldn't take him with you. The first few times, though, you noted how sad he was when you came home. The way he clung to you every time you let him out and how those massive tears welled up in his eyes broke you inside. You threw that cage away after a week of having it. Having no place to keep him however meant that you needed to teach him to be careful. If Keigo wanted to be free, he needed to be careful lest he be taken away or hurt. Little Keigo didn't take that lesson fully to heart until after a little incident with a cat. After that, he would stay close to you whenever you took him outside with you. It took almost a full year to get used to him, but once you did, it was like you two had been together for your whole life. 

Little Keigo was fun to be around with, always enjoying the things you did with him. His taste for chicken got you to learn plenty of new recipes. He slept soundly with you, his little hands always cradling your thumb when he slept in the palm of your hand. And those feathers. You kind of figured what his Quirk was simply by the way he would control all those feathers on his crimson wings. Thing was that he would try to help you at times with things a little too heavy for him which was both worrying and sweet in equal measures. 

Sadly not everything was nice. Not long after he was born did you notice that he began showing signs of pain. Always different places but very visibly hurting. Like someone was hitting or hurting him somehow. You knew the wounds wouldn't show, but seeing him always tired and in pain for days on end would cause your heart to ache to no end. There were also times when his feathers would simply fall with no explanation. It wasn't him controlling them either. They would simply fall and turn a dark brown like petals falling from flowers. And in a way, it was, because when that happened, it would take several days for new ones to grow. Although you were saddened that he was grumpy and glum from being unable to fly, a part of you was also glad. Only when his feathers fell like that did he ever seem to take any breaks and rest. 

'It's your soulmate,' your mother said when you asked her. 'He's reacting to the soul bond between them. There's nothing you can do except wait it out with him.'

And it's exactly what you did. You never questioned it nor chastised him. You knew it wouldn't serve any purpose. Instead, you took care that Keigo wouldn't suffer anymore from your end than his counterpart was already going through. It still hurt though, seeing him hurting. But what stung your heart the most was the way that sometimes tears would just spring from him out of the blue. It happened during the middle of the night almost always and when that crying woke you up, it tore at your heart that you could do nothing more than hold him close and soothe that tiny part of his soul. 

A couple more years went by like that—sometimes painfully, most rather joyfully—until you figured it out. 

It was during dinnertime. Now that you were out of home and living by yourselves in a little apartment close to campus, it was usually spent doing exactly that, eating. But that particular day, Keigo wanted to watch TV. It's not something you did often. You were what they called a country bumpkin through and through. Though you had the resources, you seldom were on the web unless necessary for a task. You had a TV when you lived with your folks but aside from watching cartoons every now and then you never really paid it any attention. The one you had in your tiny apartment was one that had been left behind by the previous tenant. Just a small box with antennas that worked only when it wanted. Complying with his request, you somehow made it work, having it close enough for him to watch while you both ate. And it was while chewing through a serving of yakitori, you saw him.

Keigo. A much, much bigger version. And he was saving people and beating villains on network television. To say you almost choked to death would be an understatement. Keigo—your cute, little Keigo—was the Number Three Hero in all of Japan. The hero known as Hawks. Disbelief was what struck you first and hard. But the more your little Keigo, that little piece of him that resembled the hero to a T, pointed at the flickering screen with a larger than life smile on his face, the more you knew there was no denying the truth. But how? How had you missed such a huge thing for so long? Sure your upbringing explained it a bit. That your parents weren't big hero fans in general also added to it. But that could only hide everything for a little while. Maybe the first year. But for the last four?

God, you seriously needed to see an eye doctor from how damn blind you were. 

You were still baffled as could be when you and Kei went out to the convenience store if only to get your mind out of things. But there was no time for you to space out when, out of the blue, Keigo suddenly perked up and flew away from his perch on your shoulder. Utterly freaking out when it was this late at night, you chased after the fast little pigeon, turning corner after corner and getting more lost the longer you did. You dodged some random people who were on their late night stroll or going back home from work apologizing all the way as you chased after that little red fluff of feathers as quick as you could. Finally, when he was getting too far, you shouted his name in an attempt to get him to slow down. He turned a corner, you did too—and crashed right into someone.

A hand firmly grasped your arm to stop you from falling back almost instantly. You hurriedly apologized not wanting to lose Keigo. But when the person spoke up, you froze in your tracks.

"Y/n?"

Almost instantly, your head snapped upward and met amber eyes. Rather familiar ones at that with those delineations on those eyes. The name spilled from little lips almost instantly without you even noticing.  

"Keigo?"

A soft glow took both of your attentions and made you face to the side were a couple of little things were floating in midair. It was your little Keigo and in his arms...a tiny version of you. Both were giddily giggling as he spun them in midair with his wings. The glow that caught your sight had been the one they were emanating as they danced. A glow that, like you'd been told by your mother long ago, meant that you and your soulmate had finally found one another and were truly bonded. Out of breath as you were, it took you a second to finally turn back to the man before you. 'Keigo,' you reminded yourself. Before you could say anything, he let out a hearty laughter that reached his eyes as he took off the baseball cap he had on letting windswept blonde tresses fall over his face. Curious how on him it was a rather handsome look instead of cute. 

"Who would've thought, huh?" As he laughed again, he reached out his hand to the two tiny versions of yourselves. Your little Keigo brought themselves back to the palm of his hand, the two holding hands and bumping their foreheads against each other like little doves. "Y'know, I always thought the little you was cute. Never thought you'd be this lovely in real life."

"T-Thank you." Dumb, yes, but you had no idea what else to say. Your brain was fried after all these surprises in less than 24 hours! The No.3 hero—your soulmate—was before you, and it was far more than you could take at the moment. When you noticed him staring, it finally brought back some of that notorious self-consciousness of yours as you fidgeted in your own shoes. "S-Sorry! It's a bit of a shock to find you, well, here. Now. And god, I can't believe this is happening now when I just found out about you."

Those amber eyes grew a bit quizzical at her statement. "What do you mean?" You were embarrassed to admit that you barely had put two and two together about his identity which got another laugh from him. "Honestly, not surprising." He reached up to ruffle the little you's head lovingly as a tender smile came to his face. "You never liked watching TV or playing with my phone. I always carry a book with me because you like to read so much. I never thought it'd take this long to find each other."

"How long have you been a hero?" you asked, curious.

"Since I was eighteen."

Oh. That explained so much. Yet nothing at all at the same time. Wanting to start things again, you cleared your throat and stood in front of him as your little Keigo returned to your side, sitting on your shoulder with a proud grin. "H-How about we start again? I'm y/n, it's nice to meet you, Kiego-san."

Keigo chuckled as the little you returned to the safety of his shirt pocket, peeking out from under the flap with as wide a smile as his. "It's nice to meet you, too, y/n."

[willow-salix]

Fluffember prompt: Feathers (vaguely, and with a dash of Rainbow)

Day 13 of Isolation on Tracy Island 2.0

“OK, who threw that pencil at me?” Scott demanded to know. No one owned up. Honestly I didn’t even see where it had come from let alone who threw it. 

“No clue,” I answered.

“I’m gonna find out,” he growled. “I could have been badly hurt!”

I sniggered to myself, for a real life action hero Scott could be so dramatic sometimes, and didn’t bother looking up from the latest copy of ‘Better Gnomes and Gardens: Witches Weekly’ that I was flicking through.

“Seriously, that could have taken my eye out, it’s like a miniature stake,” he continued to grumble.

“Talking of stakes,” I started, trying to distract him so that he didn’t go off on a ranting tangent about the danger of flying pencil projectiles, “there’s been a development with the Highgate Vampire, he’s been spotted again. Seriously, what more can this crazy year throw at us? Don’t answer that,” I warned John before he could even utter a word. I know my boy and I know that he was about to throw out some highly logical statistic or another that would make complete sense but would make me want to cry.

“Highgate Vampire?” Scott asked, distracted as I'd hoped he would be. My evil plan had worked. I turned my magazine to show him the article. “You remember, when we tried out that new ka- pub,” I corrected myself, aware of just how many of his brothers were crowded around. “We walked past the cemetery and I told you all about the legend of the Highgate Vampire.”

Scott looked blank, which is a look I’m used to seeing on him, I gotta be honest, he barely ever listens to me. “You know, I told you the story of how, back in the 1970’s a group of ghost hunters decided to try to find a vampire that supposedly lived there?”

He shook his head. 

“Self appointed bishop vampire hunter dude?” I tried again.

“Oh, yes! I remember him. He’s back?”

"Who?" 

"The Bishop."

"No, he's dead, the vampire."

"The vampire killed him?"

"The Bishop is dead of natural causes, and the vampire has been seen again," John supplied. 

“Yes," I agreed." Apparently so, and they’re blaming him for this virus outbreak.”

Everyone went quiet for a second, not sure what to say to that. John reached out a hand and I passed over the magazine so he could read it for himself. 

“Why do you read this rubbish?” he asked after perusing the rest of its offerings.

“Why wouldn’t I want to know that blue aliens brought Elvis into that lady’s garden?” I asked, genuinely perplexed.

“I don’t know how to answer that,” he told me honestly, handing the magazine back to me.

“Do you remember that time that Virgil thought he was a vampire?” Scott suddenly asked him.

“Oh, God, yes. I hadn’t thought of that in years,” John laughed.

“Wait? He what now? There were vampires involved? Why was I never told about this? This is my one area of expertise and you've been holding out on me?”

“I did not think I was a vampire,” Virgil corrected them. “Our high school math teacher did.”

I tossed the magazine aside, this was far more entertaining than anything I’d find in there.

“Spill,” I demanded.

“It’s really not that interesting a story,” Virgil insisted, trying valiantly to deflect us.

“He was a sophomore, so about fifteen years old,” Scott started, dodging out of the way when Virgil threw a pen at him this time. Scott narrowed his eyes, like he wasn’t sure if that was proof that he had been the perpetrator of the pencil or not. Virgil, for his part, looked innocent. Pen, what pen? I saw no pen? What even is a pen? Isn’t that something you put pigs in?

“And he had to have two of his back teeth out due to overcrowding,” John continued, grabbing me and yanking me onto his lap, using me as a human shield when Virgil lifted his sketch pad threateningly.

“I’m so glad I married such a brave rescuer,” I deadpanned as John continued to hide behind me. "My hero."

“I was driving him back from the dentist and he was still a little out of it from the sedation they had given him,” Scott took up the tale.

“I’m just not a big fan of the dentist, OK?” Virgil defended himself. "They have to sedate me."

“His gums were still bleeding and he’d spat the gauze out within a minute of getting out of there,” John continued, ducking back behind me when Virgil glared at him.

“They’re going to tell it anyway,” I told him, “so why don’t you do it instead?”

Virgil nodded, seeing the wiseness in my words.

“My gums were bleeding but I didn’t know what to do with it all, I didn’t want to swallow it and to be honest, I was still pretty woozy, so I just kinda let the blood collect in my mouth.”

“Aww, that must have sucked, babe, I’m sorry.”

He nodded at me in thanks for my sympathy, something he was NOT getting from his brothers.

“We stopped at some lights and by that point my mouth was getting pretty full-”

“He was drooling like Alan at nap time,” Scott butted in.

“Did you not give him a tissue or something?”

“No, he was evil.”

“I was driving and I don’t carry things like that on me as standard,” Scott argued.

“I’ll pick you up if anything like that happens again,” I promised the big guy. “For girls our cars are like an extension of our house or our handbags, there's tissues, lip balms, snacks, bottles of water, everything.”

“Thank you,” Virgil sniffed, casting Scott a smug look, knowing I was firmly on his side.

“So, how is this vampire related?” I had to ask, I mean, I was sympathetic but I was also nosey as hell.

“I wound down the window as we stopped at the light,” Virgil continued. “And I...well, I was still a bit muddled…”

“He opened his mouth and all this blood came oozing out, it just dribbled everywhere,” Scott  practically yelled, bursting out laughing.

“Why are you laughing, you evil thing?”

“Because,” John piped up from behind the shelter of my person, “the car next to Scott’s was Mrs Beddleman’s. Virgil, recognising her, breaks out into this wide, goofy and completely bloody, smile.”

“She looked absolutely horrified and even though she wasn’t going that direction she turned right to get away from us. She was a very religious lady and she took to wearing a cross to school for the rest of the year until I left her class.”

“And she moved his seat to one beside the window,” Scott howled, doubled over laughing.

I bit my lip, trying very hard not to laugh.

“It’s OK,” Virgil sighed, “you can laugh.”

“I don’t want to,” I told him as seriously as I could. “But I really don’t think I can help it.”

I made the fatal mistake then, I glanced at Scott who was at the point of silently laughing, his body shaking and I cracked.

“It’s not like I’m the only one that had bad anesthesia reactions,” Virgil said slyly and I snapped to attention.

“Are you not?” 

“Nope,” he shook his head, grinning now. “We’ve all had broken bones and hospital stays over the years.”

“Oh, oh, tell me a Scott one!”

“He had an appendectomy when he was twenty. He was taken in for day surgery and when he woke up he was completely coherent,” Virgil started.

“He was?” Knocked out Scott had to be different to sedated Scott, because sedated Scott was hilarious and very snuggly. 

“What can I say, I have a strong constitution,” Scott preened.

“He’s lying,” Virgil continued. “He was talking normally, answering questions and the doctor said he was doing great and could go. He was starving, hadn't eaten since the night before and he insisted that the only thing he would eat was Chinese food, and it had to be a buffet, nothing else would do."

"I mean, he's not wrong, there is nothing like a good Chinese," I agreed. 

"Well, it appeared that he hadn't been as recovered as we thought he was."

"What happened?" 

"I came round from the anesthesia sitting in the restaurant and as far as I knew I'd just gone under in the operating room and I'd woken up with a plate of chicken teriyaki on a stick in front of me."

John sniggered, muffling his laughter against my shoulder.

“I don’t know why you’re laughing,” Scott huffed. “Have you forgotten about when you had your tonsillectomy?” 

“That was not my fault,” John mumbled, clearly regretting his previous amusement.

“Oh gods, what did you do?” I asked him, turning my head to look at him over my shoulder.

“Nothing! I was just talking to the anesthesiologist.”

“The anesthesiologist was new to the hospital so hadn’t met any of us before,” Virgil started.

“Do I take it that you all had frequent user passes? Like buy ten ops and get the eleventh free?” 

“Pretty much,” Scott shrugged, unashamed of just how bad that sounded. “So John’s there, being himself, talking to the surgeon and anesthesiologist about the operation and what they were planning, how long it would take, telling them what they needed to do, that sort of thing-”

“I like to know what to expect,” John defended himself.

“Swot,” Gordon teased, coming in at the tail end of John’s mini rant, Alan trailing along behind him.

“It’s not a bad thing to want to go into a situation with full knowledge of it. Research and a game plan are only sensible. How do you expect to get good at something if you don’t know the mechanics behind it?” He glanced around at his brothers who looked less than convinced. “You know you’ve all been grateful for my expertise more than once.”

“I know I have,” I agreed, ignoring the raised eyebrows that came my way. Let them think dirty things, that was their problem. I received a small kiss to the side of my neck thanks for my support so I’m not going to complain.

“So, what were you guys talking about?” Gordon asked, flopping down on the couch beside Virgil.

“They were sharing with me their tales of woe under the effects of anesthesia and sedation,” I informed him.

“Oh, yes, we’ve all got those,” Gordon agreed. “Which one was John telling?”

“The time when he had his tonsils removed,” Scott helpfully supplied.

“I don’t remember it,” Gordon frowned.

“Neither do I,” Alan added.

“He was talking to the anesthetist, we got that far,” I said.

“He was talking to him as they were asking him to count down from a hundred,” Virgil continued.

“I only remember getting to ninety-one,” John told me.

“We were outside in the relatives room, waiting for him to be taken to recovery,” Scott took up the tale. “We had only been in there about fifteen minutes when the anesthesiologist and a nurse came out looking like they had seen a ghost.”

“Dad stepped up and demanded to know what the problem was and if John was OK,” Virgil said. “It turned out that John had been far more coherent than he remembered and hadn’t stopped counting at ninety-one.”

“He’d gotten to sixty-two but when he reached eighty-nine he’d apparently switched to fluent Japanese, and then started talking about a wakizashi, that and asking them about their day.”

“A what now?” 

“A small, fourteenth century Japanese sword,” John supplied.

“The anesthesiologist was actually Japanese and he had apparently called three of his peers in the ten minutes that John had been under to ask how it was possible that this Caucasian, american teenager was suddenly speaking in fluent Japanese under the influence or anesthesia.”

“It took Dad a good five minutes of solid laughter to finally tell them that they hadn’t broken John or damaged his brain in any way, he was actually fluent already,” Scott laughed.

“Apparently he gave them the biggest scare they had ever had in more than twenty years,” Virgil finished.

“I was obviously being considerate and had thought that it was more polite to talk to him in his own language rather than English,” John sniffed, crossing his arms around my waist. “I don’t see what the big deal was.”

“I’m just impressed that you were speaking it fluently at all,” I said, earning a gentle finger flick as punishment for ever doubting him. “I meant that I can only speak three languages fluently, English, bad English and Sarcasm, so anyone that can do anything else is just amazing to me,” I quickly defended myself.

“Sarcasm is your native tongue,” John mumbled. I ignored him.

“He’s mostly self taught too,” Scott added, showing that, despite how much time they all spend teasing each other, they are always proud of their siblings.

“I used to watch a lot of foreign films and TV shows to pick up the pronunciation and read a lot of graphic novels and translated books to learn how to read and write,” John elaborated. “It’s a very effective way to learn and I apparently have a gift for languages.”

“As well as many other things,” I added to be nice. “Any other stories I need to know?”

“When Gordon was having one of his back surgeries they told him that they had to strap him down and when he asked why they told him it was so he wouldn’t fall off the table and he said ‘It’s OK, five second rule’,” Scott told me.

“‘Cause I'm a snacc,” Gordon added with a grin. “Apparently I also woke up with a violent jolt and when I was asked if I was OK I apologised to the nurse and told her that I thought I was a shark.”

“You also started a joke with the nurse as you went under and finished it the moment you woke up with no prompting,” Virgil laughed.

I clapped enthusiastically for that one and Gordon bowed modestly.

“What about me?” Alan asked, finding the whole thing highly amusing.

“You’ve only been under once but you were hilarious in both the things you said,” John answered. “You apparently woke up screaming ‘Where are my wings?  I want my wings? You stole my feathers you jerk! You were only supposed to take my tonsils!’ and then passed right out again.”

Gordon cracked up laughing, as did everyone else including Alan.

“You then woke up again and asked how long until the anesthetic kicked in, and when the nurse told you it was all done and had actually been two hours you yelled in her face ‘WOAH, DID I JUST TIME TRAVEL?’” John finished.

“That’s so precious,” I cooed, because Alan is adorable in everything he does regardless of what it is.

“We have a lot of stories like that,” Virgil said, “we sometimes have to give pain relief or sedate someone who is freaking out and they do the weirdest stuff.” 

“They do? Is there some kind of hippocratic oath that you guys have to swear or can you tell me some?”

“No oath,”  they assured me. 

“One woman grabbed Virgil’s hand, stuck her fingers up in his sleeve, stroked his arm and said ‘You’d make a great carpet’,” Gordon told me.

“It’s not uncommon for people to feel stressed and unsure of where they are,” Scott continued, “they often wake up screaming or panicking, but we delivered one guy to the hospital who’d had a pretty nasty bang to the head and broken an arm. We were unable to calm him down so we had to sedate him so he wouldn’t do any more damage. He woke up as we were transferring him to the hospital gurney and he hopped off before we could catch him, pulled his pants down with his good arm and started to helicopter right there outside the hospital.”

That broke me, I’m sorry to say. I might proclaim to be far more mature than these idiots and not find fart jokes and the like amusing, but the mental image of this guy, standing there, twirling...I just couldn’t stop.

“One girl asked us if we were single and we didn’t answer and deflected by asking her if she had a boyfriend or girlfriend and she started crying that she just wanted a dog.”

“Remember that young boy who meowed the entire way to the hospital?” 

“And that one lady that was really nervous so we told her to think of something nice and she started singing ‘I wish you a merry Christmas,’ but it was July!”

“And the one that said she wanted us to drop her off at the top of a rainbow so she could slide down it?”

“And the guy that woke up when we landed, looked right at Kayo and said as loudly as he could ‘Look! The love of my life! Don’t leave me, I can change!’”

“And that one guy who knocked out a few teeth and spat out the gauze we packed his mouth with and started freaking out crying ‘was that my liver? Nooo, my liver! I need that! Get back in you!’”

“A woman lost a couple of teeth too and was crying about being ugly. We gave her some pain relief and she was so hazy that, when we handed her over to the doctor and gave him her teeth she started screaming at him... what was it she said, John? You heard it over the comms and were laughing so hard.”

“She yelled, ‘Charlatan! I demand you return my teeth! They are mine and I will choose how they are to be spent!’”

I cracked up at that, mostly the way John told it, which I assume was the same way she had, like a plummy Victorian aristocrat that had just been insulted.

“And that teen who said ‘hey, mister, my ass itches and I’m too high to scratch it.”

“Oh, that’s pure gold,” I laughed, wiping my eyes because I was laughing so hard.

“What about you?” Alan asked me. “Have you ever done anything weird?”

“Only every day of my life.”

“I meant under sedation.”

“Oh, yeah, not really,” I shrugged. “I know that when I had teeth out once, after napping on the couch for a few hours I suddenly sat up and announced that I needed to make Mum a cup of tea. She told me I didn’t need to but I said she was my guest and I had to be polite or she’d leave me alone to die. There was no arguing with me so I got up, went to the kitchen and came back and gave her a mug of cold water with a spoon in it. I apparently said ‘drink up, luv,’ like a really bad impression of Parker and face planted the couch and passed out again. Mum made her own tea after that.”

That got a fair few sniggers and Scott threatening to take away my British card for screwing up tea so badly.

“I have to ask,” I said conspiratorially once everyone had calmed down, “has Kayo ever done anything like this?”

They all looked around, as if scared that she might be listening, then eventually Virgil nodded.

“She came round from her knee surgery after she dislocated it and insisted on trying to get out of bed. The nurse told her she had to stay put as they had just fixed her knee and it needed time to heal. She answered in the most confident, how dare you try to stop me way and informed the nurse that she was a ninja and that they heal three times faster than normal people. The nurse let her try and she dropped face first.”

Honestly, out of all the stories I’ve heard today, that one was the best. It’s nice to know that even the most capable and sometimes terrifying of us isn’t always perfect.