Tumgik
#allergies are fun /s
cakerybakery · 1 month
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Adam slams back a glass of milk as he eats a tub of ice cream.
Lucifer watches in horrified fascination. “Aren’t you lactose intolerant?”
“Allergic. But I’m not going to let some pussy-ass allergy to cow’s milk dictate my fucking life.” Adam shovels. “I’m going to kick its fucking ass.”
“This is a terrible idea.”
“It’s a fucking great idea.” Adam got a few more spoonfuls before his guts started to turn on him.
An hour later Lucifer rubbed his back as Adam curled up on the bed feeling drained. “So did you learn anything, Adam?”
“No. Get me another glass of milk.”
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lightbulb-warning · 1 month
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i used to freehand comics all the time as a child and since the part i liked was the drawing part i would just draw panel after panel because i didn't want to stop drawing to think about icky icky words, plus the story TOTALLY still made perfect sense! to me! and noone else, but 'whoooo caaaaares omgggg its not like comics and sequantial art are a communicative meeediummmm lmaoooooo'. i spent my entire childhood telling myself stuff like "oh pfft I know this story by heart- ill SIMPLY remember the dialogue and write it later" ...and. I can't help but admire baby maiora's (call that a minora ba tm tsk) fucking audacity? hubris? confident wrongness? kid couldn't even remember to finish the comics in the first place? INCREDIBLE levels of unearned self assurance, wish that were me, genuinely- what an icon!!! anyway i think i have forever cursed myself
#maiora garrulates#the maiora overthinks the process of writing dialogue saga continues!!!!!!!#im so tired. i have been overthinking this shit in circles i have not been making any progress in any which way lmao!#im bitching and moaning for funsies this is not that serious in the Grand Scheme Of Things i just wanna improve at my fav thing#and ❤️ Unfortunately ❤️ my favorite thing in the world involves learning MY MOST HATED *NEMESIS*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! verbal communication. ew#words are fun! i LOVE words! toys!!!!! im using words right now and i didn't combust!!!!! wow look at that!!!!!!!!!!!!!#putting words in SEQUENCE? multiple times?? filtering THOUGHTS into SENTENCES???? sentences that a character would or wouldn't SAY???#AND THEN THERE'S ANOTHER CHARACTER SOMETIMES???? AND THAT BITCH ALSO HAS THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS????? AND THEY ALL HAVE PERSONAL IDIOLECTS#AND TONES THAT S U P P O S E D L Y ARE IMPLICATED BY MANNERISMS AND VERBAL HABITS AND CIRCUMSTANCES (AND THERE'S WRONG ANSWERS! ALSO!!)#AND THEY'RE IN A CONTEXT!! AND THEY'RE INTERACTING WITH EACH OTHER AND INFLUENCING EACH OTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#THE CONVERSATION COULD VARY GIVEN ENERGY LEVELS WHETER OR NOT SOMEONE'S FOOT IS FALLING ASLEEP THE F U C K I N G WEATHER#“oh dialogue is easy just say it out loud to yourself until it 'sounds normal' ^^”#screaming crying throwing up NONE OF THIS IS INTUITIVE TO MEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....!#ok dramatics over its out of my system! for now!!!#this is all easily explained bc i just. draw a lot more than i talk to people. so like. OBVIOUSLY i have more practice drawing#so drawing comes natural! talking does not! subsequently dialogue is Hard! No FUCKING Shit Sherlock!!!!! (affectionate)#so yeah. im using y'all (the tumblr void) as practice! hi!!! words at you!!!!!!!!!!#so yeah thanks for baring with me while passing by my corner of the internet#i do love self indulgence this is fun check out my navel gazing actually no do not look at my belly button#anyway i just think this is mildly interesting. some of my writer buds have the same “not good enough” allergy towards visuals#but they use it to be mean2me >:( same bitch that “omg i cant i suck at drawing i can't do this-” does the “uhm. just write? lol.” 2 meeee#we could have peace and love on planet earth and a common experience and yet you KICK miette for being bad at words!!!1!!! </3 heartbreak!!#what the fuck was i talking about even#oh yeah. perfectionism within creatives i guess. LMAO JK i am talking about NOTHIN!!!!G i am just putting Words Out Here ehehehehehe#its practice >;)c#all this bc ive been doodling comics for myself again and im V!! PROUD OF THE ART!!!! wanna share- but DIALOGUE!*⚡sfx!!*....... so! options#a) leaving it blank. no there are NO microphones in the budget. b) leaving blank *balloons* so that the Rythm is there. implied convo!!!#c) ...doing it badly. (tragic)(heartwrenching)(teeny tiny bruise 2 the ego) *dramatic single tear cleches fists * its the only way.........#...we shall see! literally none of this is all that serious i am procrastinating!! <3 playing with my tuoys!!!!!!!! silly time!!!#/all lh! am reaching 30 tags so that is all for THIS episode of the maiora bitches about dialogue saga thank you for joining me!!okilyBuhBY
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chibifox2002 · 3 months
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Just realized I never shared this woops
But yeah, Aggie's a dragonfly now lol
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satorusugurugurl · 6 months
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I love your writing!!!
Can i req Jjk men accidentally hurting reader during sex? If that’s ok w u, if not, it’s all good <33
JJK Men: Accidentally Hurting You In the Middle of Smexy Time
Summary: Things get a little too passionate in the middle of sexy time. And well, let's say tears are shed and not in a good way.
Characters: Gojo Satoru, Geto Suguru, Nanami Kento, Choso Kamo, FAB!Reader
Word Count: 2,337
Warnings: Smut, mentions of blood, biting, injury, crack, fluff, it's a fluffy crack post
A/N: This was so much fun to write! Love my some little crack posts like this!! I hope you enjoy! 😆
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Gojo Satoru:
You smirk as Satoru throws his head back against the pillows. His mouth is hanging wide open as your rock back and forth on his cock. Slowly teasing him, clamping down to the point that he’s writhing under you. His hands are holding your hips, squeezing you, urging you to go faster, to do something!
“Y-Y/N, I need more, fuck!” He bites down on his bottom lip, looking at your conjoined bodies. “You’re killing me, babe, please, fuck.”
“More?” You cooed your thumb, brushing over his bottom lip. “Does my poor Toru want me to fuck his brains out~?”
“Y-Yes!!” He cried out, growling as you slowly inched off his cock before slamming back down. “Hah! Ah fuck~!!”
You bounced up and down, and the squelching sounds of your pussy were nearly silent as Satoru cried out. How cute was he? Crying out like a whore while you used his cock. So pretty, the sight had you throbbing around him as you arched your back, playing with your breasts.
Satoru was whimpering as he watched your thumbs graze over your erect nipples. That wasn't fair! He wanted to suck on them, lap his tongue over the sensitive buds. He moved, thrusting up into you as he tried to sit up. The deep thrust and sudden jerky movement had you wobbling. You fell forward. Ready to brace yourself on his chest only to meet his head.
Your foreheads collided together in a sickening crack. “Ow!” Your hand flew up to your head as Satoru rubbed at his forehead, grimacing. “Ooooh fuck that hurt!” You pulled off of him, hurrying to the bathroom. “Toru!” You snarled, touching the already swelling goose egg forming on your head.
“S’ your fault.” You glared into the mirror as he stood in the doorway. His cock was still erect, your arousal glistening on the shaft. “You fell forward!”
“Because you thrust into me!”
“I only moved because I wanted to suck on your nipples.”
“And I got a goose egg instead!” Your pout was adorable as you poked at the bump on your head again. “Dammit! What are you going to do to make it up to me?” Satoru stiffened, eyes quickly meeting yours in the mirror.
“I'm sorry?”
“I said, what are you going to do to make this up to me? You promised you'd never hurt me. And look who broke their word Sa-to-ru-” Each syllable of his name had his cock twitching eagerly. He moved, lifting you off the ground and carrying you back into the bedroom. “Oh my god!” You squealed as he threw you on the bed, slotting between your legs.
“I’ll make the pain go away,” Satoru whispered, dragging his tongue down your body. “You'll feel better in no time.” He winked before dipping his head between your thighs, his matching goose egg on full display.
Geto Suguru:
“Mmm~ nngh fuck Y/N, you taste so fucking good.” Suguru breathes out against your pussy before his tongue flicks at your clit again. “So sweet and tangy, fuck I want more of you.”
You’re a mess underneath him; your back is arching off the living room floor, your shorts thrown somewhere behind the couch as the warm spring breeze blows through the room. It carries the scent of fresh blooming flowers and the promise of sunny days. Which meant allergy season was to follow with it.
You gasped, hands gripping Suguru’s bun as he pulled you closer to his mouth. “S-Suguru~!” His lips sealed firmly around your clit as his dark eyes locked on yours. Why did he look so pretty when he was eating you out? That had to be a crime somewhere in the world. But as his teeth ever so gently grazed over your clit, all other thoughts went flying out the window. “F-fuuuck! Hah! Ah fuck!”
Suguru moaned, alternating his technique from nibbling your clit, to writing his name against you, using the tip of his tongue. His skills were being used at full force, eager to get you to cum all over his tongue before he fucked you right here in the living room. He knew it wouldn't take much for you to cum.
You tightened your grip on his hair, a familiar feeling settling over you. But it wasn’t your orgasm, no, this feeling was in your sinus’. It was a burning sensation that had your nose scrunching as your toes curled. Feeling a sneeze approaching, you covered your nose with your elbow as you sneezed hard, jerking against Suguru’s face. The sudden jerky movement from your sneeze startled your boyfriend so much that he slammed his teeth shut.
Just as he was nibbling on your clit.
You screamed in pain, your thighs clamping around your boyfriend's head as you yanked him away. Those dark eyes that had just been filled with lust were now filled with fear. You curled in on yourself, hands dipping between your legs, cupping your pussy. This new throbbing sensation was not at all enjoyable. Suguru sat back, staring at you in shock as tears stained your cheeks.
“Oh fuck, I bit your clit.” He stated the obvious.
”Yeah! No shit!” You barked back, tears still flowing down your cheeks as you grimaced.
“Oh fuck, what do I need to do? How can I help? I’m so sorry.”
”I don’t know, Suguru!” You sat up, still cupping your wet sex. “No one has ever bit my clit before!!”
The silence is almost palpable between you before Suguru turns to your couch. “Hey, Google, what do I do if I bite my girl—”
“Don’t ask out Google Home, you freak!”
In the end, Google provided you with the answer: Hot water, antibacterial soap, and ibuprofen.
Nanami Kento:
Hot water hit your back as Nanami fucked you from behind. Fuck it was so steamy, and you were talking about the water. Nanami was like an animal slamming into you over and over again. His grunts and growls bounced off the bathroom walls, making your cunt throb harder. God, he was so hot; everything about this was so hot.
All this happened because you mentioned you’d never had shower sex before. Best confession you’ve ever made!
Nanami grabbed a handful of your hair by yanking it. “Head up, love, I don't want you getting dizzy.” He was utterly perfect and patiently led you through this experience. Nanami was making it an overwhelmingly pleasurable experience! “Now, put your foot up here.” He grabbed your leg, positioning it on the edge of the tub. “And enjoy the ride.”
That was the only warning you were given before Nanami pulled all the way out before slamming back inside of you. You arched, silently screaming as he set a pace that had your skin slapping against each other in a beautiful harmony. God fuck, holy fuck he was so deep in this position. You could feel his cock hitting your g-spot and cervix perfectly with each thrust.
“N-Nana! Nanami!” you cried out as he slammed into you harder with a grunt, water going everywhere, from the walls and the side of the tub for the mere force of his thrusts. “K-Kiss, kiss me.”
“As you wish.” Kento’s lips found yours in a heated, passionate kiss. You felt yourself drawing closer and closer to your orgasm. Feeling you could squeeze around his thick cock, Nanami slid his hand over your stomach, pushing down on your back and making you arch.
This was a position you had done countless times in the past. On hotel balconies, against walls, and in his office. The only difference this time was that water was involved. When he suddenly pushed you forward, your foot on the tub's edge slipped. You fell forward, grabbing the shower curtain for support.
“Y/N!” Nanami tried reaching you, but it happened so fast. You slipped, falling out of the side of the shower. Your shoulder collided with the bathroom countertop. Nanami knew it was bad the second he heard a loud pop. The pain hit you like a train as you landed on your side, gasping out a strangled scream.
Nanami turned the water off and jumped out of the shower, grabbing a towel and draping it over you before dropping to his knees. “Oh fuck, that hurts.” You winced, your fingers and neck numb. “That hurts bad!”
“Here, let's get you up.” As Nanami helped you stand, both of you winced at the same time as you assessed the damage. That popping sensation was the sound of your shoulder dislocating; your arm dangled uselessly at your side. “Y/N, I'm so sorry. I should have been more careful.”
“No, no, it's okay! It was an accident, Ken.” You sighed, turning to look up at him. “We should go see Shoko.” Nanami huffed out a sigh, nodding his head before leaning down to kiss your cheek.
“I’ll call us a car.”
You followed after him, groaning. “Do you think Gojo will be there?” Nanami froze midstep, turning to face you as he got dressed. “He wouldn't let us live this down. He might even submit our story to one of those trashy television shows like ‘Sex Sent Me to The E.R.’ or something like that.”
“On second thought, we're going to the hospital.”
Choso Kamo:
“Choso!” Yuuji yelled from the living room of the apartment. Voice muffled from behind the closed door of the bedroom. Choso loved his brothers, but right now, he was more in love with being balls deep inside of you.
Your boyfriend's hand was clamped over your mouth as he rocked into you as hard as he could. If you both were quiet enough, maybe he'd leave. Yuuji called out for his older brother again as you whined against his palm. His cock throbbed, the bed rocking faster as Yuuji muttered something that sounded like a goodbye before the apartment door opened and shut.
The second he realizes you two are good, he pulls his hand away. “Awe, Cho~ are you shy?” Choso glances down at your smug smirk before he flushes.
“Y-You're his teacher. I-Isn't it strange?”
You purse your lips in thought before smirking. “What’s strange is the fact that you aren't fucking me right now, Choso~” With wide eyes and red cheeks, your boyfriend did as precisely as you asked.
His hips bucked forward, his large hands moving from the sides of your head to your thighs, where he spread your legs further apart. You screamed out, throwing your head back in pleasure as his trailed kisses over your collarbone. He was so deep, you didn’t want to let him go; your cunt hugged him tight, making it difficult for him to pull out.
The constricting grip your pussy had on him made Choso’s eyebrows scrunch together as his balls slapped against your ass. You were so wet and tight. If you kept squeezing him like this, he wasn’t going to last very long at all. But from how you squirmed, surely you weren’t doing any better than him.
“Choso~! Choso~! Oh fuck~! Yes, baby, baby, please~!!”
“Y/N, fuck! Haa— I’m going to cum~ I’m so close~!” He gritted out, the bed squeaking under you from the force of his thrusts.
“Choso!!” He flinched, hearing the door slam open again in the living room. “Bro, I know you’re here! I can see it on the Find My Friends app!”
“Just like that! Just like th-mmmmph!!” Choso's hands flew up, hitting you in the mouth and nose. Harder than he meant to. Your eyes stung as your nose throbbed painfully against the palm of his hand. “Mmnn.” You cried out, tears welling in your eyes.
Choso’s head was turned to the bedroom door. His chest was rising and falling as he listened to Yuuji, and oh god, was that Megumi with him? Why were they heading this way? You both had to do something! Oh, right, you would know what to do! Choso’s head whipped back to you as he felt something warm spreading over his palms.
Tears were sliding onto his fingers, your tears. Choso quickly jerked them away, and he was met with a gory sight. Blood was smeared under your nose and over your lips. The stream of tears made pink streams run down your chin as you sat up, reaching for a tissue.
“Y/N?! Oh sweetheart, fuck I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!” He glanced at the palms of his hands that were stained crimson. “I didn’t mean to hit you that hard!”
“No! It’s okay!” Your voice was muffled as you squeezed gently on your nose to stop the blood flow. “You were distracted. Plus, it’s not like I haven’t been hit in the nose before.” You gave him a thumbs-up with your free hand. “Just the first time it’s happened when I was having sex!”
Just before Choso could take over holding the tissue for you, his door flew open. “Choso!?” Yuuji was about to walk in, but he froze, taking in the scene before him. His older brother, under the sheets naked, was in bed with his teacher, who squeaked, hiding her also very naked body against his brother.
And there was blood, lots of blood.
In a panic, Choso tried to get up to explain what was happening. But Yuuji slammed the door before silence rang out. Choso’s head dropped while you kept holding the tissue to your nose.
“I-I’m going to the movies with Megumi and Kugisaki. I’ll be home later, Choso.”
“A-Alright, be careful.”
“See you on Monday, Y/L/N-Sensei!”
Choso sat there mortified as he processed what had just happened. Not only did he unintentionally hurt his girlfriend, but his younger brother had walked in on him. The stuffy giggle that slowly had him turning his head to look at you. Your smile was wide, and your cheeks were flushed. That shy grin made his shoulders feel lighter. He knew the two of you would get through this awkward situation together.
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some-bunniii · 6 months
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Consoling Lucifer on Charlie’s first day of school
・❥ Charlie’s growing up, and Lucifer isn’t taking it well. Luckily, you’re there to keep the King of Hell standing on two feet.
x: just a short fic about a super soft lucifer who loves his daughter, i had some fun with this haha. reader is g/n and also has a parental role. no use of y/n.
~ 1.5k words
warning: tooth-rotting parental love
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“Are you crying, Daddy?” The tiny apple-cheeked figure asked, her head tilted curiously up towards the almost identical-looking porcelain face standing a few feet away from her, his hand over his eyes as he rubbed at them feverishly. 
“No,” He lied, his lips curved into a tight-lipped smile as he bit back tears, “It’s just allergies, Apple Pie.”
Lucifer’s eyes trailed back onto the poofy red dress Charlie wore. The intricate, black lines and little hearts woven into its soft fabric made her even more adorable in the outfit. She also sported snow-white stockings, and a pair of sparkly red shoes that glinted in the light as Charlie smiled giddily, excited about the new adventure.
A small red bowtie was nestled into her hair, which was styled in a large braid that ended at the middle of her back. It swayed softly as the young girl bounced in place, becoming antsy by the second. 
You stood right beside him, smiling happily at Charlie as she looked up at the two of you. It was you who had gotten her ready, no doubt did you think she looked like a beautiful little princess. However, you were not expecting such an emotional reaction from your husband, Lucifer Morningstar, when you presented her outfit to him. 
It was Charlie’s first day of lessons, which means—in Lucifer’s opinion—she was finally leaving the nest. Except for the fact she was still considered just a youngling when it came to being Hellborn, and Charlie still needed her father to read her a story every night before bed. She still has trouble reaching items on the counter, and remembering all the letters of the alphabet. She was far from flying off on her own, she was still her father’s little duckling.
He was already nervous the days leading up to this morning, and you had watched him flip through baby book after baby book. Each contains hundreds of photos depicting from when Charlie was a newborn, and through last Sunday. 
Whenever Charlie so much and breathed cutely, Lucifer was pulling out that camera and saving it for the album. Especially when he got a hold of a yellow duck onesie? The man was a goner, and the bookshelf was beginning to fill with rows of binders filled with polaroids.
Yesterday, you had been in the process of cleaning out a closet of rarely used items, when you stumbled upon a pair of Charlie’s old baby boots. 
Lucifer had just walked into the room when his eyes landed on the tiny boots. They obviously wouldn’t fit the girl now, as she had grown out of them long ago. It definitely stirred something inside the fallen angel when his lip began to quiver from the doorway, and slowly walked over to you sitting on the edge of the bed.
He took the boots from your hands, his thumb brushing softly over the small velcro straps. Charlie was old enough to start wearing laces, and she needed his help getting tying her shoes less and less as the months went by. That thought made him collapse onto you, tears brimming his eyes. 
“She had such adorable little feet!” Lucifer wailed in your lap, as you soothingly petted his hair. There were multiple photos in his hands, all of baby Charlie, “Her toes just don’t look like little sausages anymore, it’s not as cute!”
“At least she’s not a hobbit,” you replied, brushing a stray tear from his face.
“I don’t even know what that means!” He had sobbed.
It wasn’t like she was going off to college or anything, yet the way Lucifer clutched her baby blanket in his free hand—which she only stopped sleeping with 2 days ago—made it seem like the girl was not coming back from a few hours of teachings. 
“I packed you some snacks. Apple slices, and some funnel cake. Eat the fruit first, it’s healthy for you. Want to grow up big and strong, don’t you?” 
“Uh-huh!” Charlie nodded with enthusiasm, smiling brightly.
“That’s my girl,” Lucifer choked back tears, nodding approvingly. 
“Honey, she’s going to be late, hurry up and say goodbye,” you prodded gently, smiling warmly with clasped hands. You had been silently on standby, this was a much more emotional moment for Lucifer than you, he needed the space and time with his munchkin.
“You’re right, you’re right,” he growled softly at himself, “look at me, all worked up over nothing. What a joke of a King.”
Lucifer lowered himself to one knee and reached out a hand, and Charlie walked forward returning the touch. Her tiny hands were engulfed in his palm as he curled his fingers tenderly around them. The fallen angel met his daughter's gaze, before taking a deep breath.
“I love you, Charlie.” 
“I love you too, Daddy,” Charlie laughed, before leaping forward and wrapping her arms around his neck. Lucifer pulled her in, nuzzling into her hair as she squeezed him tightly. 
Even if Charlie grew apart from her father as she got older, you’d know she’d always be a daddy’s girl. It was Lucifer whom she invited for tea time among her stuffed animals, and it was he she asked to dance with when the radio’s soft melodies filled the lounge during the evenings as the three of you relaxed by the warm fireplace. 
It made your heart flutter with how similar the two were, and the way Lucifer fawned over Charlie like he’d never seen a more beautiful soul. 
“My best creation,” he had whispered with a smile one night, while the two of you were sitting on the balcony, the alcohol buzzing inside your mind as you held his hand from across the small table. Those words had made your love for him continue to grow, if that were even possible in the first place.
Lucifer and Charlie stayed locked in an embrace for a few moments on the floor before the girl released him, and Lucifer’s arms slowly lowered from her abdomen as she took a few steps back towards the door.
“Go on, now! Don’t let me keep you waiting, just remember to crush it.” Lucifer waved his daughter off, and she jumped with joy.
“Okay! Bye, Daddy!” Charlie giggled, her little red dress bouncing along with her toes as she quickly turned away towards the open door of her room. 
“Have fun, Charlie!” You called after her, as Lucifer slowly rose from his position near the floor.
“I will! Bye!” She replied, running down the hall, her little bag bouncing in her hands as she scampered away to…
…her private tutor’s small classroom at the end of the long hallway. The three of you had been wishing the girl farewell in her large bedroom inside the family manor, which meant Charlie’s teaching wasn't even outside of the home. 
That made Lucifer’s reaction even more humorous, but it was also incredibly sweet. The ruler of Hell, a nasty, bitter place, was a cinnamon roll behind the bad-boy act that he played so well in front of the rest of the realm.
When Lucifer stood straight again, you turned your head to face him. The sight before you caused you to clamp your lips shut tight, trying to suppress your laughter at Lucifer’s disheveled figure.
His hair looked messier than before he had said goodbye, and his face was soaked with tears. Lucifer’s lip quivered, and he quickly averted his gaze, slamming his hand over his face to contain his quiet sobs. The man was practically in shambles. 
“What’s wrong with me?” He groaned, rubbing a hand down his face, “I can’t control my emotions when it comes to Charlie.”
“Sorry to break it to you, Your Highness, but you’re in love,” you cooed, shaking your head with a smile as Lucifer sniffled beside you. He pulled a hand-embroidered handkerchief from his waistcoat, dabbing underneath his eyes to clean the fresh tears. 
“Come on, Lou. How about I make you some pancakes for breakfast?” You said softly, lacing your fingers with his as you tugged him towards the opposite end of the hall. 
“Really?” He sniffled, looking at you with glistening eyes.
“Mhmm,” your hands lifted to cup his face, tenderly squishing those small red spots as you replied with a honeyed tone, “Heaven knows how the ‘Big Boss of Hell’ can be such a softy. Don’t worry, Charlie will be back by lunchtime, and maybe we’ll go on a picnic, hm?”
Your free hand went up toward the fallen angel’s head, and your nails softly grazed his scalp as you pulled his hair back into a more uniform appearance. After fussing with it for a moment, you leaned in and placed a tender kiss on his forehead.
“A picnic sounds nice, I have no idea how you always have a remedy to everything,” He said softly as you pulled away, an adoring smile on his lips as you turned to tug him down the hall.
“Years of practice,” you laughed, as the two of you walked towards the large kitchen, passing loving glances between the other. 
At least, with Charlie away for a few hours, you and your husband could get some alone time together. God knows the poor man needed it. 
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lucifer is just so soft for his little princess whether it’s beating the shit out of adam or playing tea party it makes me just 🤭🥴 like damn
hope you enjoyed the lil snack, have a great day! 🤍
tags 🏷️
@ohnoivefallen @doodlebob2726 @coleisyn @undertale-is-sansational @nehy019 @mixplara @chewbrry @yellowsubiesdance @airwolf92 @lxkeee @jellybellyrulez @catnoirsleftnut @mbruben-stein @mint129106 @froggybich @moonlovers34 @just-trash-yeah-thats-it @lil-bexie @wings-of-sapphire @the-tortured-poet @enigmatic-blues @bethleeham @blue122 @cherry-4200 @azullynx @luzzbuzz @for-hearthand-home @helluvapoison @th3-st4r-gur1 @concentratedconcrete @cimadreamer @marsenbie @guacam011y @maxiskindahere @purplerose291 @fictional-character-whore @0willowwisp0
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foldingfittedsheets · 3 months
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wait what the fuck go back why are there lambskin condoms at all
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Yeah so, back in the day people didn’t like getting pregnant. And they didn’t have access to latex for a long time. So lambskin condoms are some of the OG contraceptives, they were better than nothin. The first iterations were made from animal intestines, there’s some debate but that was sometime in the 16th century, though some think it was much earlier.
When latex condoms hit the market in the 1850’s it would have been the death knell for lambskin except! People with latex allergies still needed an option that didn’t make them drop into anaphylaxis. Also animal condoms were still cheaper until the 1920’s. Fun fact: my friend Charlie is allergic to latex but decided to just use latex condoms anyway and got stuck hiding in a closet when the girls parents came home and forgot he had a biohazard on his penis until he started having a seizure and remembered to remove it.
Anyway! The downsides of current lambskin are numerous. First off, it feels an awful lot like wax paper which seems quite unpleasant for both partners. Additionally, it still transmits STIs, because lambskin is just… skin, and is permeable to infectious disease.
Lastly why it’s bad: Modern condoms are checked for microtears and breakage by running a small electrical current through them. That’s how we know they’re safe to prevent all the stuff. But lambskin can’t be subjected to this test, so it can’t even say it’s guaranteed to prevent pregnancy, if there’s microtearing semen are gonna get through.
But noooow there’s a baller new material called polyisoprene that can be tested for breakage, doesn’t smell bad like latex, and is hypoallergenic. They’re basically the best condom in every way, and lambskin should now bow out and stop existing.
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undeadcannibal · 1 year
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imagine one of the Fem! rookies getting lil skeleton hands tattooed on her hands, and ghost just-
*INSTANT BONER*
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Summary: Ghost can’t help but be turned on when he notices the Recruits’ new tattoos. Pairing: Simon “Ghost” Riley/Reader
Genre: One-shot, request(s) Word count: 1,138
Warnings: Mature rating, mention(s) of sexual acts.
A/N: Ooh, I had fun with this one, Anon. Was tempted to turn it into a full fic, but figured I’d be an asshole and tease y’all since I write tons of smut otherwise. Whoops! Anywho, thank you so much for the request, Anon. I hope y’all enjoy it~ Also, I apologize if this has a lot of mistakes. I’ve been slammed with allergies, mental stuff, and work, so I’m all sorts of fucked lol. ( Gif credit: xxx )
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Ghost paid little mind to most of the rookies they trained. At least, he had before until he'd met you a few months back. Price had mentioned to 141 he was interested in possibly having each of them bring some new recruits under their wing to help show them the ropes. He figured if anyone could get any of them ready, it'd be his boys. Each of them eventually had someone signed to them to help train. Ghost's recruit certainly was interesting, to say the least. 
John had figured with Ghost being more reserved than the rest of the group, it might be easier if he had a recruit that kept to themselves more than the rest. He was thankful for that. The less he had to worry about babysitting, the better. Thankfully, that never seemed to be the case with the recruit Price had assigned to him. 
You went by the call sign Mouse. 
At first, he'd assumed it was for your small stature, but after he'd heard whispers from the others, he quickly realized it was due to your specialty for silence and speed. Apparently, you were just as quiet as you were quick in your fieldwork. That he could appreciate. Yet, aside from that, he didn't know much about you even after weeks of training together. 
Aside from learning the truth behind your call sign, he'd also come to notice that - surprisingly - you were covered in numerous tattoos.
Every time the two of you sparred together, he found himself discovering a new tattoo he hadn't seen before or a blank spot that had yet to be filled with ink. 
Eventually, somewhere around the two-month mark, he found himself asking you about them after a successful session. You'd finally managed to break out of a particular grapple you were struggling with thanks to the size difference between you two. However, Ghost refused to relent until you'd gotten the hang of it. Your enemies wouldn't play fair if they towered over you, so he had to prepare you for any sort of outcome to give you the best chance of survival possible. Still, that didn't mean he was so strict as to not celebrate the small victories. 
As the two of you were hydrating after training, he'd found it in him to comment on your tattoos for whatever reason. 
"Noticed you had a blank spot there." He'd comment, glancing down at the blank space of flesh on your hands. It'd surprised him to see your arms covered yet you still had yet to choose something for them. Maybe you didn't care for hand tattoos, he wondered... 
"Have any plans for 'em?" 
You paused in bringing your water bottle to your lips, pursing them as you hummed softly. Seemingly debating on how to answer his question. 
"Mm, yeah... I've got a few ideas in mind for them, but have yet to settle on anything yet." 
He was content to leave it at that had it not been for your next response. 
"I've got a few ideas in mind but haven't settled on anything just yet. Tell you what though, when I do get those spots filled in, you'll be the first one I show them to." 
By the time that'd happened, it'd been a few months later and he'd pretty much forgotten the interaction until he'd bumped into you again on his way out for a smoke break. You'd stopped to say hi and chat for a bit before he suddenly saw your eyes widening. A giddy smile broke out on your face shortly afterward. 
"Oh, I nearly forgot!" Raising the sleeves of your long sleeve top, you also quickly rid yourself of those pair of gloves he often saw you wearing. "Check out the new tattoos I got while I was back home." 
With your forearms and hands bare to him, he could see the fresh, black ink now covering the spaces on your appendages that previously clear soft skin. 
The moment he realized what the tattoos were, Simon was thankful for the strait-laced control of his reactions. Certain if he wasn't so strict with himself that he'd be giving off numerous micro-expressions showing his interest in your new pieces. 
Of all the tattoos you had to get, it just had to be a stylistic representation of your wrists and hands skeletal system. 
Rationally, he understood that the new set of ink likely had no meaning behind it - most of his own didn't - but a smaller, possibly more primal part of him wanted to puff up his chest. Preen at the thought of everything you could have chosen, it was something similar to the gloves he often wore himself. Only much more permanent. And attractive. 
Fucking hell, he was down bad over something that meant nothing at all. 
Just so he didn't break down and smile, Ghost took a long and deep drag of his cigarette before exhaling the entirety of the smoke from his lungs. Watching the vapors dissipate entirely before finally having it in him to look at you once again. 
"How'd you do during the fingers and knuckles?" 
You laughed sweetly and softly, causing him to feel an odd sense of pride in being the cause behind that laughter. Especially when he took notice of the way your cheeks appeared even softer and rounder than usual as you did so. 
Eyes down, soldier. Look at the tattoos, not her damn squishable cheeks. 
Watching you wiggle your fingers in his direction, you grinned up at him cheekily. 
"Pain comes with the territory. Besides, I kinda enjoy that type of pain, and it's also a hell of a lot cheaper than therapy." You joked. 
Simon felt like a pitiful man when he felt the familiar stirring of arousal deep within his lower belly shortly after. His mind already drifting towards mental images of you down on your knees before him. Opening his pants just so you could wrap those tattooed fingers around the base of his cock. Stroke him till he grew hard and began to twitch within your palms. Eventually - given your permission - he'd paint the dark ink with his release, claiming you in a way and--
He needed to stop his thoughts before he began to spiral down the rabbit hole that was his sudden lewd thoughts that came on with your new tattoos. 
He was going to need another cigarette as soon as he finished his first one. 
Clearing his throat, Simon glanced at you with dilated, bright eyes. 
"They look good on you, kid." 
Even if he wouldn't admit it aloud, Ghost secretly saw it as a secret bond between the two of you.
Now, you had a permanent mark of his favorite pair of gloves on your body.
The thought alone turned him on much more than he'd ever thought possible. 
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2K notes · View notes
nicromancytarot · 6 months
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DRAWING YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE’S APPEARANCE
This is a general reading based on a collective of people. Take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. If you don’t feel the pile resonates with you, don’t be scared to try another, if it still doesn’t feel right, that’s ok! Maybe our energies aren’t as connected and my readings are not for you.
I do these strictly for fun and educational purposes. I don’t charge for these readings, and I do not fake readings.
PICK A PILE READING
I asked my spirit guides what your future spouse looks like, I’ve drawn a VERY rough sketch for a man and a woman, pick a pile and find out which one is for you!
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Pile 1 ———> Pile 2 ———> Pile 3
PILE 1
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MALE
- Blonde hair
- Glasses
- Strong muscles (both body and face)
- Prominent Adam’s apple
- Blue eyes (first thing you notice, they could even sparkle a bit)
- Wavy hair
- Fair skin
꒰꒰・┄┄┄┄・♡・┄┄┄┄・꒱꒱
- Teacher / Professor
- Mathematician
- Secure in themself
- Into politics / debating
- Doctor / Nurse
- Scientist
- Public speaker
- Wealthy
- Uranus
- Aquarius
- Calves
- Vegetarian / Strict diet
INITIALS: N, H, S, E, M
FEMALE
- Blonde hair
- Blue (fish) eyes
- Glasses
- Nose piercing (hoop)
- Prominent cheekbones
- Fair skin
- Large bust (posible surgery)
- Small waist
꒰꒰・┄┄┄┄・♡・┄┄┄┄・꒱꒱
- Social media (influencer?)
- Hairdresser
- Slow talker
- Scientist
- Dancer
- Therapist
- Humanitarian worker / Advocate
- Artist
- Something wrong with one of their arms
- Folklore
- Cosplayer
INITIALS: B, A, P, F, E
PILE 2
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MALE
- Dark skin
- Dark eyes
- Dark, short hair
- Wears a lot of caps (specifically blue)
- Skinny body
- Sad resting face
- Stubble
- Pretty smile
- Tall (6’ - 6’3)
꒰꒰・┄┄┄┄・♡・┄┄┄┄・꒱꒱
- Rich
- Large house
- British
- Small waist
- Enemies to lovers
- Hugger
- Into styling and fashion
- Chef
- Lawyer / Judge
- Chess
- Army
- CEO
- Producer
INITIALS: S, H, I, D, Z
FEMALE
- Dark skin
- Dark eyes
- Dark hair (wears a straight wig from time to time)
- Long face
- Pretty smile
- Prominent eyelashes
- Neat eyebrows
- Prominent collarbones
- Large bust
꒰꒰・┄┄┄┄・♡・┄┄┄┄・꒱꒱
- Rough past
- Farmer
- Humanitarian worker
- Estate agent
- Emotionally mature
- Carer
- breadwinner
- Protester
- Train conductor
- Likes to go on walks
- In charge
- Police / firefighter
INITIALS: G, R, S, N, T
PILE 3
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MALE
- Fair - tan skin
- Light - dark brown hair (possibly ginger)
- Hazel or brown eyes
- Small lips
- Skinny body
- Wears a bandana
- Possible piercings
- Small eyebrows
꒰꒰・┄┄┄┄・♡・┄┄┄┄・꒱꒱
- School
- Part of the LGBTQ+ community
- Many jobs
- A texter
- Understanding
- Into science, possible scientist
- Mechanic
- Author
- Protester
- Football (soccer)
- May have cheated in the past (could do it again)
- Peanut allergy
- Office job
INTIALS: N, P E, R, S
FEMALE
- Fair - tan skin
- Brown or green eyes
- Light brown hair
- European
- Large eyes (Tim Burton)
- Large, dark eyebrows
- Tall (around 6’)
- Small lips
- Hooked nose
- Wears a bandana
꒰꒰・┄┄┄┄・♡・┄┄┄┄・꒱꒱
- Pain
- Possibly born prematurely, or could give birth to a premature baby
- Good with money
- Shy
- Rebellious
- Works in a place where she has to restore things
- Nut allergy (I screamed when I got this for both lmao)
- Possible black sheep of the family
- Contemporary
- Past life soul that owes their life to you in this one
- Strong
- Model
- Coach
- Gets sick a lot
INITIALS: W, A, M, K, T
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the-pixelated-pirate · 4 months
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Request for Anon!
Hellooo lovely people! Sorry to keep you waiting, literally all year, but I'm back! I had a lot of fun with these because I've been in such a big Maji' mood <3 hope y'all enjoy!
Romantic Majima HCs ♡
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WARNINGS/NOTES: NSFW under the cut, gender neutral reader w AFAB anatomy, Y1+ Maji' in mind but some hcs can still work for Y0 :3
REQUEST STATUS: Open!
REQUESTS LEFT: 3!
SFW
• Loves claw games, will win everything in the machine for you if you ask. On second thought, Majima would do ANYTHING for you if you asked
• Doesn't matter how long you've been together, Majima will always be flirting with you. He'll always finding something about you to compliment and makes extra sure that you know you're loved by him <3
• Plans the most sporadic dates. Always jumping the question when you least expect it. He found this neat looking sushi place a couple blocks from your place, what about dinner at 8? Tonight? Of course, tonight! He saw some kids eating some ice cream just now and it sounded perfect! You're not busy, right? Let's go!
• If you've got a job with the public, you know he's skipping out on his duties to come visit you. You work in retail, he's holding up the line to flirt and swoon over you. Your boss hates him
• He can't let anyone know that he's the biggest sap over his s/o. You've got him wrapped around your finger, Majima isn't sure if he enjoys it or not.
• Favorite moments are early in the morning, when you both first wake up. It's so domestic. Loves getting to cook breakfast with you, holding you close from behind and smooching you up <3 his kisses taste like coffee
• Plays into the "Mad Dog" nickname a lot, calling himself your "guard dog" and being positively feral and the slightest bit protective over you.
• Loves to bite. Anywhere. He'll leave marks, and end up maybe getting punished because he left a big ass hickey where clothes don't cover it
• Loves loves LOVES to cuddle. His favorite place to rest his head is your chest. Or your thighs, he ain't picky. He could cuddle you all day if you'd let him, especially after a bad day at work. Your fingers in his hair is an absolute dream
• Sings in the shower
• Has a notebook of important dates that he always keeps on him, so he doesn't forget them! Some dates include your birthday, and your anniversary of course!
• Turns into a big baby when allergies kick in. Now he's got you around, he begs you to take care of him. Let him bundle up in your bed, feed him some warm soup, massage his jaw when it starts to ache, won't you? You just love him so much, right~?
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NSFW
• Okayyyyy.... Maybe it's a little indulgent... But he'd be so down to try pet play. Probably prefers calling you his little kitty/puppy, but it feels pretty damn good the other way around, too
• As much as it hurts to say. Look at him. I don't remember seeing a spec of hair on him, minus the facial hair. That mf waxes. Brazilian. And if I am misremembering... It just feels in character, ok
• Loves to see you dress up. Loves to see anyone in a suit or dress, if it's a special occasion he will find some place to drag you to so he can show you one hell of a time. Oh, the risk of getting caught? Just adds to the thrill, doesn't it?
• Switchhhh. Through and through. Can be a big bully, or he can be a big ole masochist. Loves pleasing, loves being pleased. Majima in the bedroom is very 50/50, everyone is happy
• Fav place to cum is. Anywhere on you. Ass, stomach, face. Will he clean it up... Probably. If you tell him to.
• LISTEN.... He's down for some freaky stuff... If you tell him to lick it up, he just might. He's always been pretty unpredictable, hasn't he?
• Loves rough sex. Nothing better. However he does have his softer spells. Will go easy on you if you ask. But you better beg, he loves listening to that sweet, sweet voice of yours
• All of my faves have voice kinks. Because I said so. Solidarity k 🤝
• Like mentioned he can get pretty cuddly afterwards, but he can still take care of you if you're wiped out. Just get ready for some hugs and a whole lot of smooching
• Okay. Crossdressing. Are you surprised. Making him wear dresses, making you wear something you normally don't.. just something about it
• ALSO. ROLE 👏 PLAY 👏 HE WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND FUCK YOU HARD AS THE HANNYA MAN. AS A POLICE OFFICER. GOROMI... WHOEVER. OK
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modawg · 6 months
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my favorite thing to think about is camp half blood and them as a community so here’s random chb head cannons bc i said so and i love them
this is gonna be long
i’ve said this before i’ll say it again Aphrodite cabin haircut day (which spans abt a week) it’s a whole production they have a sign up system and everything like an actual salon it’s super fun because everyone’s just talking to eachother and laughing as they sit on the floor infront of their “hair stylist”
basically every year like a yearly check up (see point 2) the aph cabin will hold a yearly hair cut day(s) where you can come in and really request anything but it’s really for just trims so no one’s walking around with split ends
don’t get me wrong if you want to cut your own hair you can you can also get a haircut any other time of the year if you want but it’s like a whole thing and it’s just easiest to do it during that time
yearly health screenings!! they also do like a screening when you first come into camp to see if anyone has allergies disabilities etc etc this is also a whole production but is less fun (apollo kids are more strict when it comes to your literal health)
on sunny days people lounge in the grass taking the sheets from their beds to make picnic type blankets but literally once one small group does it the entire field is covered in blankets all connected
when this happens it’s such a fun experience sometimes they’ll have kids dueling to the left while to the right some apollo kids are playing and singing with their friends as they pass strawberries throughout the entire coven and get sunburnt together
there’s a sign next to the dock that says “no running on dock” and edged under it is “unless percy’s on duty”
i feel like when percy is near the water/near the dock it becomes an automatic like safe zone and kids love it bc they can sprint and cannon ball off the dock without embarrassingly slipping and going to the infirmary with their heads down
speaking of percy he has a class teaching kids how to preen and handle the pegasi (pegasus??) where a bunch of them will come and lay out in the sun and he’ll walk around showing on blackjack what feathers to pluck and which to leave alone etc etc
genuinely fuck the godly parent pavilion table rule everyone sits where they want to sit when you first come it’s customary to sit with your siblings just so you get used to the people you’ll be living with but once your comfortable you sit with your friends when you want to
some kids don’t even sit at the table they sit on the floor or right outside the pavilion on the grass or on the edge with their close friend they try to not have kids eating in the big house but who’s to really stop them tbh
(i believe this one’s kinda cannon) but they have a comunal tv inside the big house along with the comunal computer and they have movie nights or you can sign up for a personal movie night but 90% of the time people will probably join you
also comunal landline lol
they also make their own movies and host their own plays when they want to (see next point) normally the apollo and aphro kids help with this but it always comes down to the hephaestus kids who record and convert so everyone can watch it on the big screen
many kids who passed in the wars are preserved in this way
PLAYS they have so many plays hosted normally by the apollo kids hephaestus and aphrodite kids help with the assembly and makeup surprisingly the 2 most cabins who actually preform (aside from apollo) are athena and ares
idk i feel like ares kids need this outlet they always act like they’re doing it only bc a lot of their friends are creatives but it’s a lie
normally the plays are just greek myths that they do with a modern twist but they can also do poems or other fun things the kids want (it’s kinda like a talent show type thing)
camp magazine!! again i’ve said this before but GYATTTT i will die on the hill of camp magazine
the magazine is a short little thing that goes out once a month normally having camp gossip interviews and reminders that go out for the month
every month the cover is decided by the ending of the previous magazine (there’s a poll) sometimes they have special guest models on the front like vogue when the aphro kids are really feeling themselves
percy has been this model on many occasions and tho he doesn’t really know it annabeth has kept every cover he’s on
this magazine was originally run by selina and after she died it was sent out to memorialize the kids who died during the first war with a pic of her and charlie as the front cover; it stopped running after that
yearly ms o’leary camp cleaning day
this is the most hectic day in chb herstory like genuinely
they have to split into 3 groups A B and C once A gets tired B comes in once Bs tired C comes in then it starts again
percy’s there as a constant stream of water and the hephaestus kids make giant scissors so they can trim her along with extra big dog brushes so they can get all her fur (i head cannon her as a HUGE fluffy dog fight with a wall idc) they always finish her off with some bows and a feast to celebrate
athena kids have a sign up sheet outside their cabin where you can sign up to get tutored you just write what you need help with and when you want the help and someone normally can
same with ares kids and learning how to fight
tbh most cabins have this when it comes to certain special talents like learning how to play instruments or gardening
they have a huge bulletin in the big house where people can pin things up have it be reminders about yearly things pictures they want up help wanted posters (lol) drawings really anything
you can leave everything up for a week for everyone to see then it’s a curtesy thing to take it down to make room for new things
help posters are infact a thing normally it’s just with things they can’t get help with day of or something that isn’t actually too important or for something far in the future
ie, if they need more actors for their play or a window won’t close or something
everyday (and this is cannon) you have a chore if you bust your ass to the big house you can sign up to some of the good ones that don’t take as long but the longer you wait to sign up the faster the good ones go
this sets up for a lot of bargaining between campers abt getting different chores but a lot of the times people do them together or with friends and it really isn’t that bad
kids often set up their own stands with different things could be sign up for a 2 minute sketch a lemonade stand or other random things
they sometimes set up field trips out to the mortal world emphasis on the sometimes
if they do it’s normally to a more crowded area like a museum or a park or something so it’s harder for monsters to smell them they also have to go armed and with at least 1 seasoned vet to every 2 campers
this has to be approved by chiron 1 month in advance and has to have said vets signature so kids are just making shit up
these groups don’t really get any bigger than 10 or so campers and they only really stay out for a couple hours but it’s always everyone’s favorite thing
since kids can’t use phones other then the landline they have a lot of cameras like a LOT of cameras every cabin has a couple and there are some in the big house too for kids to borrow and take pics with
if you break it you normally have to take on the chore of whoever’s fixing it along with whatever chiron says
you also sign up for these so they know when you took them when you brought them back and you MUST mark any scratches or anything that might happen so everyone is aware of the status of these cameras (they have monthly maintenance checks)
it’s really funny when you look through the pics different cabins take with their camera you can really tell who’s who’s
at the end of every month they get gone through by the cabin to delete whatever they don’t need and converted into whatever the cabins want so they can be preserved and reused later
camp family album; every year they take a camp picture
in the big house there’s a small library of things ranging from the memorial book to ancient greek books to the family album that holds signatures like a yearbook and camp pictures that chiron loves the most and he keeps in the book
the year(s) the books span over are written on the side so campers can look for themselves and see the history behind chb
ok i’m going to leave that at that bc i need to go clean but i will maybe come back to this later ok byeee~ (^з^)-♡
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nwjn-z · 1 year
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𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐇 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐍 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐠𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬 !
warning(s): none
author’s note: i saw someone do this with anime characters and i thought it would be fun to do it with the boys !! (i dont remember the person tho😓)
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kyle broflovski .
a redbull and nerds clusters
okay, kyle drinks redbulls bc they give him energy and he has a hard time sleeping so he always needs them but he has a hard time sleeping bc he drinks redbulls.
Ike’s favourite candy are nerds clusters so Kyle’s just used to getting them for him but he tried them recently and started getting some for himself.
stan marsh .
a pack of beer and m&m’s
do i even need to say it? ofc he gets some type of alcoholic drink but he isn’t very picky unless it’s like those fruity seltzers, he hates those. usually gets a case of beer and maybe 1 or 2 of those buzzballz.
he also really likes m&m’s. both him and shelly’s favourite candy are m&m’s and they will fight for them (shelly wins every time). Sharon used to have to separate the m&m’s into two containers and label them with their names on them bc they do not share.
kenny mccormick .
an arizona and takis
kenny likes to get the mango flavour arizona, he’s just a mango flavour kind of guy. the guys also all pitch in 2 dollars to give to kenny so he’ll drink a mixture of all the slushie flavours.
also it’s cannon that he eats takis so obvi he would get them. he also only gets the original flavour ones he just doesn’t like the other ones. he won’t even eat the blue takis even though they’re the same 😭
eric cartman .
a diet mt.dew , xL cheesy poofs , and a reece’s
it’s canon that he drinks mt.dew and he drinks it pretty often but I also think sometimes he gets a dr.pepper slushie.
i put xL cheesy poofs bc im thinking of those big bags of cheese puffs. i can imagine him getting one of those big ass bags and not sharing with anyone 😒. he also gets a reece’s and proceeds to rant about ppl with peanut allergies.
BONUS:
-i think craig and clyde would get gatorades together everyday in elementary and just never stopped. craig gets the blue one and clyde gets the red one.
-wendy gets sweetarts ropes and bebe gets watermelon sourpatches.
-butters likes to get a blue raspberry slushie and funyuns.
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fishyfishyfishtimes · 2 months
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A real big pet peeve of mine is when people act like food allergies or specific dietary needs only exist because certain people are whiny selfish bastards who decide to invent new reasons to be special. Like what!?? Seriously why is “I only eat gluten free, dairy free, pork free, nut free AND egg free food!” a punchline. Why is a peanut allergy likened to actual nonsense like “caramelphobia”, is it really that far fetched to some that a person can DIE if they ingest allergens??? I’ve gathered that at some point a gluten free diet was a “trend” in the mid-2010’s but seriously, was it ever really THAT big of a phenomenon??
Haha so fun I love to hear how the treatment for my autoimmune disorder is a “made up diet”! I feel so welcomed, thank you so much.
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justcallmesakira · 8 months
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Bsd men with a childish s/o part 2!
Sypnosis: Bsd men with a very silly and goofy s/o with ranpo, akutagawa and nikolai! Genre: Lowkey fluff, crack
Warnings: poisoning with peanuts, sliding down a metal Rollercoaster railing, implied doxxing a Mexican kid, blasting, teeth 😇
A/N: Okay so my last post got loads of likes so I decided to do a part 2 because why not? I don't think I will do part 3 but you can request if you want..?
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Ranpo-
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Wow... look two autistic lovers challenging each other who can eat the most sweets without getting cavity!
You one time tried stealing his candies,, so he kept you in those childrens tents filled with colorful balls😧😧😧 yk those silly cages made for children so they think they are meant to have fun?
Nahh fukuzawa gunna call the CPS
If you think he will be all sweet with you.... No shit bro your in for a ride, AND I MEAN A LITTERAL RIDE-
"uhh ranpo I don't think we should use a Rollercoaster as a slide" "shut up you kid! Sliding not a crime xD"
Two grown up adults found sliding down a roller coasters rail
BRO let the news reporter have a break 😭
He's kinda like dazai but a bit more childish with you (awh how cute...)
One time he tried to play with a kid on the sandbox but he refused so you came and gaslighted the kid to eat a peanut butter lollipop 🍭🥜
Turns out the kid had allergy to nuts
Kid: AUGHHH AGUH AGHGh AEEEEUGHH you: :3 Ranpo: god must be happy
FAMILY GUY Reference??? YES
And so two totally romantic lovers go on a journey to poison little kids!
Hohoho if aomeone bullies you he's gonna go "Hello (first name) (middle name) (last name) who lives in (full address) and was born in (birth hospital)" on that Mexican kid who tried to bully you
That's hot😋😳🤭
One time you lost your left glove in the winter so he took your left hand and slid it in his gloved hand
YES THAT'S POSSIBLE I DID THAT TO MY hopeless romantic ass Self!!!!
Akutagawa-
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....
How did you get him to date you bro 😀
He does not even understand what wrong with you so he always has be the one saving your ass during a mission just in cas3
OH it's not for your protection.... It's him protecting the building so you don't blow it up
😁😁😁
You know how he goes ◉ - ◉ sometimes? That's exactly how he questions your silly antics
"I can't wait for the tooth fairy to come for the teeth under my bed!" "◉-◉" higuchi: you are too old for fallen tooth what are you sa-- Y/N WHO'S TOOTH IS THA--"
He only glared at higuchi telling her to not question it with you behind him ":3"
Sometimes you play with his rashoumon by putting make up on it
Idkdontaskmehowyoudidthat-
"sir we bombed up the plac-" "good" 💁‍♀️💄👹---🧑
GUYS THE DEMON IS THE RASOUMON AND DON'T QUESTION IT
If anything akutagawa is questioning why he has to keep you in a children's daycare
BRO give him a break-
When dazai met you and you two had matching energy he was just staring at you two with respect... He felt a bit felt out though
HUG HIM RIGHT NOW👿
Other then that he tries to understand you and protect you from danger because of your goof :)
Nikolai-
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This is gonna get messy.... 😨
Honestly you have matching energy butttttt- BONUS POINTS IF YOU ARE A TERRORIST WHO Goes >:3 WHILE BLOWING UP A BUILDING-
Fyodor is questioning his life choices because you two acCidENtaLly burned his kitchen
"Damn.... It's 7 am..." Fyodor said calmly as he saw his only house burn down
Your gonna become his pretty assistant in his circus or sth🤡
Anyways you know those bumper cars? You two ride those and bump each other with it causing a friction and blasting the whole place
He will let you lay on his thi- I mean lap if you are too tired but don't be surprised to wake up with pigtails and heavy makeup :>
NIKO I love you but if you do that... Things are gonna get way messier😊😊😊
If
If you want anything he Wil just open up his portal and bring
"oioioioi koala (the name you gave him because of kolya) I want to drink shrimp and lollipop soda" *opens up portal and takes out a golden can* "here you go! :3" "Oh tank yew :3"
Totally sane and normal!!
Yes you call him koala instead of kolya but he always goes 😳🤭
I would too bbg wann-
Overall I think it's sort of good to be cheerful I mean at least you get too get away with his pranks (slightly)
Just make sure he doesnt sigma 3 breakdown hair you
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A/N: I know this wasn't good but I am not in the mood to write yk--so sorry it's not funny or anything anyways I am not sure whether I WI will write part 3 or not
Tag: @silverbladexyz
Reblogs and likes are very much appreciated!
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blueaetherr · 2 years
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Can i request richarlison where he spoils her so much xx🫠
in thought of you
pairing: richarlison x fem!reader [she/her]
warning(s): none
summary: the one where richarlison spoils the reader in more ways than one
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Richarlison has always been a giving person. It was something in his nature, in his person, something naturally of custom to him. And he enjoyed it—the giving part of things—because he knew he wouldn't be letting go of it any time soon seeing as he loved it so much. He associated giving with two kinds of people: those in need and those he loved the most. And Y/N, his partner, was just one of those people he loved the most.
And this part of Richarlison was most prominent in their relationship, towards Y/N, appearing in a few ways.
At first it came through as rather materialistic. He had the money, the resources and everything else one needed, why would he not cash out on her? He bought her the world: they spent their time searching for her choice of clothes, he was open yet careful when picking out her jewellery, so much so that she was soon drowning in luxury and prestige.
"They reminded me of you," he would say, every time he brought back the finest necklace, every time the two passed by an item and Richarlison knew he had to get it for his partner, every time his mom spoke highly about a certain item of clothing or jewellery. And he would say it all with the kindest smile one would ever see.
And Y/N would return the smile and say, "Thank you," because she was grateful. For how he chose to spend on her, for how he always had her in mind even when he went out shopping for himself. For how he let her feel herself in such glamorous wear, for his efforts to make her happy. For that, she was grateful. But it became too much for her; too flashy and far out of her comfort zone sometimes, so he had to switch it up.
Then there came the flowers; the gift offering simple presence and kindness. Richarlison gave them to Y/N whenever he could, the ones his mom kept in her assorted garden or the ones he always noticed walking past the local florist. Whenever they went out and he saw a flower, laying perfect and pretty, he would pick it up and personally hand it to Y/N. When he knew he would be gone for a few days for a match, he would have flowers, far delicate and dressed, delivered to their place.
"These reminded me of you," he would say or message, every time he brought back a bouquet or two home, every time he picked up that random flower off the side of the street, every time he had her favourite flowers, in her favourite colour too, delivered home. And he would say it with a smile, one rather favouring his nerves, considering that offering flowers wasn't his initial way of giving.
And she would say, "Thank you," nonetheless. She always loved the flowers, personally. For their pretty appearance, for their delightful smell, and for how Richarlison associated them with her. For how determined he was to get a flower even if it was really out of reach; he always made the effort for her, regardless of the challenge that came with it. She remained grateful for his will to give. But, soon enough, it became too much for both of them.
Not enough room in the house to place the flowers, not enough space in the garden to plant them. Not enough space in the kitchen or rooms to place them, bringing in too many insects and causing her allergies to act up. This one, Richarlison was reluctant to switch up—flowers grew to be his favourite item to give his partner. But for their best interests, he chose to switch it up.
Finally, there was the quality time. Now this one, when he could, Richarlison spoilt her with a lot of this and so much more. The mornings spent in bed, the afternoons cleaning the house together with spirits and music high. The evenings playing football in the backyard for the thrill and fun of it all, the days he would wait on her until she came back from a late night out.
And Y/N would say, "Thank you." In fact, she had more to present than just a thank you (even though Richarlison thought it was more than enough). She would hug him, kiss him and do everything she had to offer him (how could she not when he always managed to give her the world)? For the times he pulled her back into bed, for the times when they were belting song lyrics on their off days. For the times he waited up for her after a night out, for the times he chose to hang out with her over his friends. And there was no criticism to any of it; in simple, she was grateful.
In her eyes, in all ways was Richarlison spoiling her, gifting her, giving to her. Through the materials, through the flowers, through the quality time. And she loved them, she appreciated it all equally. Because whether he chose to spoil her in one way or another, at the end of the day, they reminded me of you, these reminded me of you, this reminded me of you—he did everything in thought of her, and that was enough for Y/N to be reassured in their relationship.
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luv-gukkie · 1 year
Text
★ 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐫, 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐤 ★
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ᗯᗩᖇᑎIᑎᘜ ⚠︎︎ : іᥒᥒ᥆ᥴᥱᥒ𝗍!rᥱᥲძᥱr, ᥲgᥱ gᥲ⍴, іᥒ𝖿ᥲ𝗍ᥙᥲ𝗍ᥱძ!ᥡ᥆᥆ᥒgі, 𝗍ᥲkіᥒg ᥲძ᥎ᥲᥒ𝗍ᥲgᥱ, ᥎іrgіᥒ!rᥱᥲძᥱr, ძ᥆mіᥒᥲᥒ𝗍 ᥡ᥆᥆ᥒgі, 𝗍ᥲkіᥒg ᥎іrgіᥒі𝗍ᥡ, ⍴r᥆𝗍ᥱᥴ𝗍ᥱძ sᥱ᥊ (good job yoongi), innocent!rᥱᥲძᥱr, ᥆rᥲᥣ sᥱ᥊ (𝖿ᥱmᥲᥣᥱ rᥱᥴᥱі᥎іᥒg), ძ᥆ᥴ𝗍᥆r!ᥡ᥆᥆ᥒgі
Pairing: Fem! Reader x Yandere Min Yoongi
last time you were here, your tummy was upset and your nose sniffled every chance it got. you told yoongi how you felt with such an upset tone. "dr.min, i just don't want to be sick anymore. i don't like it." you pouted, your pink lips falling down so cutely. he remembered what you wore too. a nice little pink dress that reached your thighs with some white shoes that had long, white socks sticking out of them. your mother sat in the corner, explaining to him that you've been ill for weeks and that you were terrified at just the thought of walking through the hospital doors. you blushed at the comment, whining your mother's name for spilling too much information. he checked your temperature and other things as well, asked you some questions that your mother answered instead of you, annoying him in the process. what would it take to just hear your voice more. but other than that, you were such a sweet girl. that's why he gave you a strawberry flavored lollipop each time you visited. maybe it was the small sparkle in your eyes when you saw him pull out the sweet and the way you told him that you were very thankful. it's the same reason why yoongi has a gummy smile on his face when he saw your scheduled appointment. oh boy, he couldn't wait to see you.
the first thing he noticed as he walked in was your shoes neatly placed beside the hospital's chair; clearly standing out in plain room with white walls and no decor that could possibly illuminate like you did. you sat there, legs pressed together and hands under your legs with a gentle smile pressing on your face. "hi mr. min!" he laughed in return. you could never get the fact that it was dr. min. no matter the amount of time he and your mother told you. at the thought of your mother, he didn't see her. "where's your mother?" at his question your body slouched and you stared at your lap, "my mom told me to come on my own...that i'm a big girl." a pout on your lips as you told him.
whenever you came, it was a refreshing sight of life and a better day for him because all day he would stare at people who complained to him or coughed in his face and other monotonous doctors that had gray strands growing in their hair and wrinkles on their bodies. however, yoongi could always count on you to make him smile. "don't worry, this will be fast and fun!" he moved the strand of soft hair behind your ear and placed his hands on top of your lap, rubbing them, "let's start!" he wiggled his eyebrows making you giggle. he checked you and everything seemed to be normal. when he asked why you came, you explained to him that you had gotten a terrible flu and that you worried it could be something else as you kept on sneezing each second of the day. exaggerating was always a big part in your personality, yoongi found it hilarious.
yet, there was a stutter at his smile when he realized you didn't fake your illness to see him. but it was all alright, at least he could see you now and in a healthier state. "okay, well you're all better now. how are you?", he asked, well aware that it's his job to find out if his patients are healthy mentally as well,"anything happening at home?" his back facing you in order to type in his computer, prescribing a medicine to help you with your allergies. the ones that you said turn your face red, nose stuffy, throat itchy, and eyes all watery; that make you stay in bed. when yoongi heard a broken sob behind him, he's never looked so fast. he ran to be by your side, worried completely on your behalf. he caressed your face and pulled at your cheeks gently, whispering to you. "what's wrong honey?" you couldn't face him when you had this guilt building up on you. "d-dr. min, i l-lied to my mom", he nodded his head, suggesting that you should finish, "a-and to everyone else that i don't have a boyfriend." you finally cried out in frustration; big, fat tears falling down your face. "b-because i-i do!" yoongi couldn't believe what was coming out of your mouth. his mind not willing to grasp around the fact that you had someone that held you. that kissed your lips, held your hand, and cuddled you secretly. his mind trying to form another version to help him cope. it's true that every young person has someone before they find their true love. yet, sometimes the person they date from young ages are the ones where everything happens.
your heavy head finally looking up to see his reaction, his figure loomed over you and his dark eyes seemed distant as they stared at you. his gummy smile no longer there, just a pat on your head and he left your side. at least he tried, your hand quickly grasped his wrist and a whine escaped your lips along with a cry. "m-mr. min, please stay!" you grabbed his white coat, doing your best to prevent him from leaving the room. tears strayed form your eyes, your knees touching the cold floor as you continued to babbler nonsense. anything to make him stay and comfort you. he was the only one you could trust, you couldn't tell anyone else. your frustrations pausing when he turned around to look at you on the floor, "good girls don't do that (y/n). they don't lie like you did", his face said it all; how disgusted he was by your actions.
"b-but mr.min i'm not lying to yo-", his shoe smoothly touched your covered cunt. "stop talking." you whimpered at the contact and hugged his leg as a reflex. "you probably fool around with boys." you shook your head at his comment with small moans slipping out of your mouth as his foot pressed against your folds more. you close your eyes at the feeling of your stomach clenching. his eyes lusting at the sight beneath him. "a slut." he says as your eyes water. he could easily take off that tiny skirt you always wear and that buttoned up white shirt that's see through, giving him and everyone else the view of your bra and cleavage. sobs broke out of your mouth as you mumbled things he couldn't understand, all while pushing your cunt against his shoe. hiccups escaped your small mouth, delicious to yoongi's ears. he kneeled to be just above your head, "does it feel good?" his voice covered with curiosity to know how you felt, questions popping up in his head if you had ever made love with someone else. your voice timid, "i-it feels weird," as you spoke to him you fastened your hips. your fingers clawed the fabric of his pants. "describe it honey," yoongi removed the hairs sticking to your sweaty forehead, fascinated at what he was witnessing and hearing from you.
he never thought he would have this chance. a chance with you. you whispered how it made your princess part feel strange and hot. made you wanna go faster. he played with your hair like how his fingers traced the cream buttons to your shirt. yoongi's foot started bouncing up and down with you on it. your breath became ragged and yoongi smiled down at you, "go on little one, finish up." you moaned out, "mr. min i-i feel like i need to pee." your lips separated and cheeks all blushed. your sight covered with unknown, innocent lust. his fingertips undid five of the tiny buttons, cleavage fully exposed and bra straps slowly caressing your shoulders as they fell down. his long fingers landed on your thighs, rubbed them all the way until your skirt wasn't doing it's job on covering your pussy and your thighs. the scene in front of him taking his breath away: panties all drenched with your own needs, the fabric colliding your folds each time you inched forward and back to reach your high, and his leather shoe smeared with your wetness. the hold on his black pants tightened and a muffled scream, and that's when he saw it. your panty moved aside just in time for him to catch sight of your cum dripping out onto his shoe and the floor. folds covered with the sticky substance that made his mouth water and eyes all hazy from it.
yoongi noticed the change of pace, your head starting to lower and eyes fluttering. "what's wrong, little one?" his eyes dangerous, "did you like it?" he asked, this time fully taking off the blouse and bra. he almost couldn't hear the "mhm" from your throat. almost. it was a reassurance that yoongi could continue. "you wanna slip out of your skirt?" he helped you up on the examination table, ignoring the pain of the erection you caused. your dazed form so easy to carry and control. probably even easier to break. your small hands compared to his, pushed the patterned skirt down to the glossy floor. yoongi walked to the door and fully locked it. your big eyes watching him for his next move. a need you didn't know about creeped out of your tiny hole. you laid back, overwhelmed and in tears on why your hole keeps closing around nothing but fresh, cool air. why it felt so lonely and warm, hoping mr. min could fix it like he always does to help you get better from colds.
yoongi spreads your legs apart, giving him the sight of your panties and the valley of your tits. he fondled with them; his cold fingers tracing you silt with the material sticking to folds. he dips his face close and put your legs on his shoulders. his lips leaving a tiny peck on it. then a long lick in the center of your panty, where he could feel the puddle of cum sitting. he drags them off your legs and into the pocket of his white, laboratory coat. "mr. min, it bothers me!" you whine out and throw a mini tantrum at how long he was taking. he was gonna take it slow, but you could be such a brat sometimes. throwing a fuss when all he wanted to do was help, he needed to teach you why you have to be patient. something your mom missed to teach you and now he could. yoongi settled himself between your legs, a mess forming on the harsh, thin paper beneath the two of you. he shifts his fingers under your thighs and pulls your measly form to him. he makes sure your head is away from him. he tugs of every clothing that blocks his dick from meeting your hole until his bare shaft is out and hitting his abdomen. "spit," he demands as his hand closes in on your mouth. and once he has it, yoongi pumps his cock a few times with your saliva, rubbing it all round his cock. since you wanted to hurry up, now you're gonna feel the consequences of not waiting to get your hole stretched before.
yoongi groaned in sweetness as slid his cockhead on your slit, using all the wetness he can receive to spread it out. your nails break through the thin paper under you at the anticipation to get away from the feeling. "it might hurt a little," he pauses because yoongi knows he's lying to you. but it's too late to turn back now so he puts a condom on for protection. yoongi gently pushes the palm of his hand on your mouth and jerks his cock past your cum-covered folds, through that small hole of yours. his palm hides the painful scream you emit from his peers and the plump tears fall out all over again, coating the dry tears. "it's okay baby, dr.min is just gonna push the rest in." but before he does, he looks at you in the eyes, as if searching for something.
you don't realize what it is, all you know is how your jutting your hips towards yoongi even though the mushroom tip of his cock felt worse than a regular booboo. the way your cunt ached with heat and your hole kept swallowing nothing telling you to push down through the pain. your walls painfully molding around his cock. your hands attached themselves around his waist, fisting his lab coat. you whimper his name loudly as you roll your eyes till the back of your head. yoongi doesn't dare to move, not wanting to hurt you in the process of making love to you. instead, he whispers soft, gentle words to your ear. he caresses your arm until your elbow and back again. he connects both of your foreheads together, a gummy smile on his face that brings a smile to yours. "mr. min, why are you smiling?" you ask with curiosity in your tone, slowly forgetting about the pain between your legs. "cause you're so cute." he says in his casual tone, knowing that you don't notice the difference of how he talks to you compared to every other person who walks the ground of earth. your cluelessness to his lovesick eyes and small hints. your jaded eyes only seeing his lazy, brown orbs with nothing in it. and when yoongi starts moving his hips against yours, his stiff dick is submerged entirely into your sopping cunt.
his slacked mouth he breathes out a heavy groan at the feeling of your walls randomly contracting around him. the pleasure so unknown and foreign to you. not knowing why you felt so full when dr.min finally pushed against you. why your body reacted like this, but yoongi knew why your back arched. it was the dull ache of his cock resting inside of your tightened pussy. every single twitch of his cock intensifies a tensing of your own cunt, both of your bodies feeling high. his beautiful hair is messy on his head, and each time you looked down you see his muscles flexing as he holds you against his body when he pivots his pelvis into you.
he wishes he could be yours. even if he told you, you wouldn't understood. he's got all these secrets building up on him, all of them include you. he shouldn't be here with you; with your scent on him, wrapped around in your arms with your clothes on the floor. But he can't help that you've got him wrapped around your pretty finger, and that you don't even know the power you hold over him. "my pretty, little baby," he purrs into your ear. his warm breath hitting your ear shell causing a faint moan escaping your plump lips. in his mind, both of you are connected without a barrier, so he pushes himself as much as he can with the lasts of his few deep, rough thrusts. plunging himself as far as he can into your womb, thinking of how your cunt pulses around him heavenly and with that, his cum spurts on the condom. yoongi lifts your hips up while you arch your back as you milk his dick completely. your voice is filled with panic as you stutter, "i want to pee." your eyes make contact with his as your mouth opens to let out a loud moan from the luscious orgasm. your eyes closing shut at the eye contact, shy that you're peeing in front of yoongi again. you're leaking out all over, some of it goes to the floor.
yoongi's eyes twinkle at the sight of you. his mind taking a picture of you like this. you were too good for this world, too pure to walk around by yourself but he couldn't block you from it. he wasn't one to mess around with people's life, and he definitely wasn't going to mess with yours. it was your choice what you wanted to do, not his. no matter how his beating heart rang in his ears or how thoughts ran throughout his mind to shield you, to keep you locked up from everybody else. even that mom of yours who dared to send you to the doctor's office your own. anybody could've taken advantage of you. yet, in the end, he could never. you could decide what to do with your own life. so, at least for now, yoongi was just gonna watch you from faraway. but his heart betrays him because it continues to pester him on his desires on how he wishes he could be yours. and even if he told you, you wouldn't understood. he's got all these secrets building up on him, all of them about you, of how much he fucking loves you. he shouldn't be here with you; with your scent on him, wrapped around in your arms with your clothes on the floor.
yet he can't help that you've got him wrapped around your small finger, and that you don't even know the power you hold over him. "my pretty, little baby," he purrs into your ear. his warm breath hitting your ear shell causing a faint moan to slip out of your plump lips. such a small sound from you makes him go crazy. "i'll have you soon." he whispers more to himself than to you. yoongi pulls out and throws the used condom away, his hands sculpting you back up to perfection. the small buttons sliding through the holes, all the way up to the collar. your eyes dart all over the room, avoiding yoongi's eyes as you feel the wetness on your pussy lips.
your panty is sealed in his pocket, but you've already forgot about them, letting the cold breeze touch your cunt. you can feel the stickiness between your legs, your lip quivers and your eyes fill up with tears until you finally let them go. "yoongi", you weep, "i'm sorry that i peed~." your cheeks flourished with tears and blush at the embarrassment you felt coursing through you. "please don't tell anyone," you begged, a little scared in the inside. "it's okay, let's not tell anyone, pinky promise?" he said, sticking out his pinky finger. nodding your head, you took his finger into yours, noticing the height difference. your tiny hole squelching wetness out without knowing why. yoongi snickered as he watched your cunt get wet at anything. "you like this, don't you? i thought you were a good girl. but you like it when i put my fingers inside of you, especially when my cock splits your cute pussy lips apart. never knew you could be such a whore." you feel a shiver go up your spine and a gush of something out of your princess part when his fingers part your folds. the air flowing in causing you to moan out his name and hold on to his wrist. "because you were a good patient, you can ask me for anything you want." that's how you found yourself repeating after yoongi for him to ram his fingers inside you as a reward. each leg on his side with your skirt flipped upwards once again. warm forehead against the chilly wall, eyes rolled back. completely unaware that yoongi's phone was out, filming every second your cunt wrapping itself around almost his whole fist.
"i'll see you next time, can't wait!" yoongi gives you a gummy smile. "here, a strawberry lollipop." the lollipop pressing against the tip of your noise. your eyes shine at the sweet treat, pulling it out of his hand with grabby hands. skipping away from him after a mutter of goodbyes from you, enjoying the first time you've gone to the doctor alone.
"very soon." a grin on his face as he watches you walk away from him with one hand holding down your skirt. yoongi laughs in the inside at the realization of something. he makes his way to bathroom and secures himself into a stall digging into his pocket for a certain piece of fabric. when he draws it out, your panties are dangling on his finger pads. he snickers at the fact that you left unaware of your not having any underwear on and he's slightly envious that the cool air is touching your bare pussy. so careless of you that any breeze could flip that already short skirt of yours upwards. oh such a slut people would think you were, walking with your cunt unclothed. yoongi spends his time fondling with your panties, playing around with them, making them kiss his cock all around.
he knows he'll see you soon, and when that time comes, you'll be his too.
929 notes · View notes
bagopucks · 9 months
Text
A. Matthews - Mean Words Hurt People
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✄————————————
Auston Matthews x Fem!reader
Requested✨
Word Count: 2.1k
Warning(s): none! Just light angst.
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“Hudson just take the pills.”
“No!”
“Hudson please! They’ll help.”
“No! Go away! I can’t do it, I hate you!”
It had been an awfully stressful week. Auston and I were both feeling the irritability. With the second round knock out, I was patient. I assumed he might need time alone or with his team, and it was time I was willing to grant. What I hadn’t expected was for him to dive headfirst into the fire. I worried that we never got time to discuss it or that he never got time to cope with it, but at the same time I wondered if Auston coping was spending time planning our wedding and being a father to Auston. I always wanted to ask, but I never wanted to overstep my boundaries.
Until it came to hell week. Hudson’s allergies had been horrible. I worked overtime almost every night, and Auston was left with most of the work. It was bumpy, sure, but even if it had been myself and Hudson, I knew it still would have been bumpy. Hudson was tired and cranky, and stuffy and itchy and miserable. Auston was miserable navigating everything, trying to keep the kid happy, trying to make him take his pills, trying to find ways to entertain him. I felt horrible coming home each night, some worse than others. Some more peaceful than expected.
Some days Auston would be out cold on the couch, his clothes a mess, his hair pulled up, exhaustion laced in his furrowed brow. Other days I could hear the screaming and fussing from Hudson well before I even got up the front porch steps.
Hudson’s allergies and attitude couldn’t have come at a worse time. Halloween was around the corner and I had so many plans as to how I wanted to share it with Auston and Hudson. The last thing I wanted was for my miserable and moody kid to put those on the back burner. Especially because it was a chance to go out and have some family fun. Even if we hadn’t been the most stable of families recently.
I reminded Auston to be patient, but it was never really him that seemed ready to give up. Sure he got overworked, sure he was as miserable as Hudson, and as lost, but not once had he turned to me and told me he couldn’t do it. Until the night I came home to quite the tense scene. Auston sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. Toys were everywhere, Hudson was nowhere. He looked a mess. He looked exhausted. And when he looked up at me and told me he needed a break, I couldn’t get mad. I understood. When Hudson had spells like these, I often found backup was the best way to handle it.
“Was it worse today?” I asked softly as I closed the door, assuming Hudson was asleep.
“I stopped asking myself that a while ago.”
“I’m really sorry, hun.” I sat down next to him on the couch, gentle as I rested my hand on his back.
“I don’t know what his problem is.” The tension in his voice was something foreign to me. Auston was usually so collected and relaxed.
“It’s just his allergies. He just doesn’t understand why he’s feeling so miserable, and why it won’t go away. Just give him time.”
“I really need a break.” A piece of me wanted to tell him parenthood is a full time job. But I couldn’t, because while I knew it was a full time job, I liked my vacation days. And the perfect babysitter came in the form of my mother.
“Maybe Hudson needs a few days with grandma.”
“You think?” I pulled back at the tension in his tone. “I’m sorry.” Auston was quick to apologize, running his hands through his hair and sitting back. When I finally got a good look at his face, I raised a brow. There was more than just exhaustion in his features.
“Did Hudson say something to you?”
“What?” I watched Auston’s deep brown eyes meet my own. “No.”
“Aus. Did something happen?” I quickly placed my hand on his thigh.
“No. Okay? It’s fine. I just- I’d like to go home… alone- to sleep in my bed. With my dog.”
“Okay… okay if that’s what you need. Auston, just- I’m here for you. Okay?”
Auston stood up, and I watched him walk toward the door. For reasons I didn’t understand, he was more than overworked. He didn’t seem interested in sharing, but I assumed a full night of rest would help. “Drive safe, okay?” I watched him nod as he put his shoes on, and I locked the door behind him after he left. I hoped to delve deeper into the issue when Hudson awoke in the morning.
“Hey sweetie.” I spoke from the stovetop, cooking a few eggs for Hudson to eat for breakfast. I watched the boy peek around the kitchen and dining area before he padded off into the living room. When he returned, he came to my side and hugged my leg. “Sleep well?”
“Okay.” His distant and somber tone made me sigh. Both of my boys were anything but happy. It hurt knowing I could do nothing to help either.
“We have to talk, okay?” I watched his big eyes shoot up to my own. I wondered if he already knew what was on my mind. “Go sit. I’ll bring your plate over.” And I did just that. Once I finished cooking the eggs, I put them on a small plate and grabbed a fork, carrying the items over to set them down on the table. I pulled my chair out across from Hudson. The lack of Auston at our table was oddly unsettling. We’d both grown used to his presence in the mornings.
“Auston‘s really stressed.” The mention of the man lost my son’s interest. His eyes didn’t lift from his plate. “You’re not making things easy, hun. And I understand your allergies are killing you, but that doesn’t give you any right to be difficult or mean.”
Hudson dropped his fork on his plate, looking down at his lap.
“Have you been mean?” I leaned forward slightly, listening in the silence. Listening until I heard a quiet sniff. “Hudson?”
“I didn’t mean it.” His broken tone made me raise a brow.
“Honey, what didn’t you mean?”
“Did I make him leave? I didn’t want him to leave. Is it my fault?” His questions made me shoot up from my chair to cross the table, kneeling on the floor by Hudson.
“Honey.” I spoke in a stern yet soothing tone, reaching upwards to cup his tear stained cheeks. “Hudson you could never scare Auston off. He loves you.” I cooed.
“I’m so sorry, momma… I didn’t mean it!” Somewhere in the midst of the chaos, mistakes had been made, and i finally understood the issue. An issue I never should have left Auston alone with. “I don’t really hate him… I didn’t mean it.”
“Hudson, why would you say that?”
“I didn’t mean it, momma.” His quiet cries turned into sobs.
“Shhh.. okay honey.” I rubbed my son’s head, my heart hurting for both Auston and Hudson. They both needed comfort I wish I could have provided sooner.
“I don’t hate him.” Hudson whispered in a broken tone.
“I bet Auston would like to know that.”
“Not if he’s mad at me.” I shook my head.
“He still loves you, honey.” I wiped his tears one last time. “You just need to apologize.”
From day one, Auston’s mind had been plagued with worries. What if he wasn’t good enough? Or what if he couldn’t be a good father? What if he wasn’t cut out for all the responsibilities, or he couldn’t be a good role model? He never actually prepared himself for the day the kid he’d worked so hard to earn the favor of, would say he hated him. Auston had been floored when Hudson screamed it across the house. It was worse than any pain he’d ever felt before. It was the last thing he’d wanted. And he didn’t know how to tell me. I couldn’t blame him. Because it was a situation I didn’t actually understand. When I turned up with Hudson on his doorstep, a piece of me didn’t expect him to be home, but sure enough, Auston had opened the door just minutes after knocking. Felix stood at his feet, clearly oblivious to the situation, panting excitedly at the sight of Hudson. His best friend.
“Hey Aus.” I flashed the man a tender smile. Auston breathed a sigh that made his shoulders droop.
“Hey.. is everything okay?” Auston opened the door wider, an invite inside. I hesitantly stepped into the home, resting a hand on Auston’s hip and pressing a quick kiss to his chest.
“I came to check on you.. Hudson did too.”
“I was uh.. Felix needs to go on a walk.”
“Let me handle it.” I slid past Auston to grab the dog’s leash, calling Felix and kneeling to get him hooked up. “I’ll be back soon.”
I had faith in my boys making up. Despite the fact that Auston wasn’t Hudson’s father yet, I still knew that they had the ability to talk about their emotions and communicate well. They had never fought before… but I had faith they could apologize and move on.
“Mom,” Hudson called for me softly.
“I’ll be back soon, honey. I promise you’ll be okay.” I pressed a kiss to my son’s head before patting his back, and gently pushing him inside. “Fifteen minutes max. That’s how long I’ll be gone.” I reassured both boys before stepping out the door. Auston hesitated before shutting it behind me.
Was I worried? Sure. But again, I knew they’d be fine.
Auston shuffled his feet nervously for a moment before glancing back down the hallway. “You thirsty, bud?” He asked Hudson, the two making eye contact for the first time since their fight.
“A little.” Neither knew how to begin the conversation, so instead, Hudson and Auston walked down the hall and fetched two glasses of water, before settling in the living room on the couch.
“Your mom wants us to talk.. doesn’t she?” Auston took initiative, holding the cold glass of water between his hands.
“Yeah.” Hudson nodded, eyes examining his own water like a science experiment.
“I’m sorry your allergies have been so bad.” Auston slid a bit closer. “I know that stuff sucks. And I wish I could have been a better help.”
“Mom said we’re gonna see a doctor next week.” He paused. “She said they’re gonna give me something that should work better than the pills.”
“Hudson I was only trying to help.” Auston could barely handle dancing around the subject, so he decided to face it head on.
“I know.” Hudson’s little voice quivered.
“There’s nicer ways to treat the people trying to help you. And I understand if you had frustrations. It’s okay to have those, but there’s better way to communicate frustration than insults. Mean words hurt people.”
“I’m sorry,” Hudson whispered, peeking up at Auston, guilt in his sad features. “I don’t hate you.” The words took a huge weight off the shoulders of both boys. Auston let out a shaky sigh, and Hudson felt far less guilty than before. “I’m really sorry.”
“It’s okay.. Hudson it’s okay.” Auston set his glass of water down, reaching for Hudson, who slowly got up and climbed into his lap. Auston rubbed Hudson’s back while the boy sat with him, a mutual understanding between them that there was still love shared. Their relationship remained strong despite what had happened.
“You’re not mad?” Hudson pulled his head from Auston’s shoulder to look at the man.
“Nobody’s perfect, Hudsy. You’ll learn that as you grow up.. and you’ll make other mistakes. Just like I will. And that’s okay. It’s important that people have patience with one another… I’m not mad. I love you so much. Just do me a favor and try to communicate a little better in the future when you’re upset, okay?”
“You’ll help me.. right?”
“Absolutely.”
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