#alpha protocol

[ruvviks]

trying to figure out how to draw rex' face. the consistency will come later

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[dykeinfection]

As a trans lesbian, I always find it really funny looking at media that are obviously done from a cishet male perspective. Like for example, the game 'Alpha Protocol' (2010). For context, the game refers to itself as "The Espionage RPG". As you can imagine you play as a spy and do all kinds of cool spy stuff like stopping political assassinations, planting bugs and blowing shit up.

The meat of the game however comes from its dialogue system. The various important characters from the game react to the choices you make and particularly what you say to them. This will change what they think of you, and they will react accordingly based on whether they like you, dislike you or are otherwise neutral. I could spend hours discussing the specific intricacies of the system, but you get the gist. Now, the other thing the dialogue choices affects are your romance options.

Like many RPGs these days, Alpha Protocol has multiple romantic interests for you to have your way with. Because it's incredibly cishet and you play a male protagonist, the only options are women unfortunately. Sorry to all the guy lovers out there, Alpha Protocol is not for you. Now, the romantic interest in particular I want to focus on in particular is SIE. SIE is a German mercenary in her 40s. Most characters in the game refer to her in someway as being old, ugly or disgusting. Or all three. Early in the game if you choose to flirt with her, one of the characters says: "If you hear a choking noise, it's me vomiting." Another implies that she smells like "Cat piss and tuna". For the most part the game makes it very clear to you that everyone finds SIE unattractive, and that you should to.

For reference, this is SIE:

Like, am I insane here??? She's so hot!!! And in a stereotypically conventionally attractive way too! She's just muscular and in her 40s. That's it! That's the whole reason the devs decided she was unattractive. During her sex scene your dialogue options are "No way in hell" and "Might as well". "Might as well"??? "MIGHT AS WELL"???!!! Thousands of lesbians would be ON THEIR KNEES begging this chick to bang them. Yet the protagonist is like "eh, I've got nothing better to do". And on top of that, in the sex scene he's annoyed!! She's got him tied to a table and is in lingerie and he's a bit miffed!! He doesn't react that way to any of the other love interests! (Who by the way are all in their 20s and rendered just as conventionally attractive).

Deeply deeply unserious game made by deeply deeply unserious men. Completely baffling to me.

[askseriousrainbow]

Here's numbers 80 to 71! Got some fun ones in this one! I've also added links to where you can get the games, with that being retroactively added to parts 1 and 2 as well. Obviously, I can't link if they aren't available.

80. Alpha Protocol New Entry (Available on: GOG) So this game is basically described as “Mass Effect with spies,” but that does a disservice to the game. It's well written, clever, has Nolan North as an unhinged ally, and really fun to boot. Obsidian was great on this one.

79. Evil Genius 2 Previous Rank: 73 (Available on: Steam) Stumbled a little but this take on the base-building genre is still a fun time, I love the Evil Geniuses and how they're all slightly different from each other with different doomsday devices.

78. Scarface: The World is Yours Previous Rank: 72 (Not Available, Sadly) While Vice City is an excellent spiritual successor of Scarface, The World is Yours is a great “What If?” sequel where you take control of Tony Montana trying to rebuild after Sosa's attack on his mansion.

77. Shantae and the Seven Sirens New Entry (Available on: Steam, GOG) I love me some Shantae, and this newest entry is pretty great. Solving the mystery of where the other half-genies went is quite the adventure and it's just a great time.

76. Blood Previous Rank: 82 (Available on: Steam, GOG) Blood lives... again. While not my favorite of the Trinity of Build Engine games, it's a good time, and if you want to play a Villain Protagonist, this game is great for that. RIP Monolith.

75. The Secret of Monkey Island Previous Rank: 65 (Available on: Steam, GOG) Ahh, Monkey Island, one of the greats. I love its cleverness and its insult swordfighting. The story of Guybrush Threepwood is great, and this is a great introduction to the series.

74. Serious Sam 4 New Entry (Available on: Steam, GOG) Ah, this is a great entry of the Serious Sam series. Very clever writing, excellent weapons, good secrets, an interesting “level up” system, it's just a great entry all around.

73. SimCity 2000 Special Edition Previous Rank: 79 (Available on: GOG, EA) SimCity 2000 is a vast improvement over the original SimCity, what with its water systems and mass transit. It's not perfect, but it's really fun.

72. Pinball FX (2023) New Entry (Available on: Steam) I like pinball games, and Pinball FX has a great selection of tables, including a MLP:FiM table and classic Williams tables, as well as some other licensed tables. It feels right to me, and the controls are intuitive.

71. Evil Genius Previous Rank: 68 (Available on: Steam, GOG) Yeah, I still like the original more. Alexis is just the perfect Evil Genius to me. While not having the numerous bases of EG2, the two bases in EG1 are fun to build up.

Next part tomorrow!

Link to part 1. Link to part 2. Link to part 4. Link to part 5. Link to part 6. Link to part 7. Link to part 8. Link to part 9. Link to part 10.

[rigil-kentauris]

sometimes you think life is shit and sometimes you wake up and a whole team of people have gone revived a forgotten dead mostly mediocre video game that you happen to love for no apparent reason

[riderofthewind]

[justlikeanoldfool]

Sis, from the game Alpha Protocol (Obsidian Entertainment, 2010).

[thejediexile]

GOG just dropped an Alpha Protocol port?

Sweet time to play an action rpg with better reactivity than the Mass Effect games

[elamimax]

I'm going to turn Mike Thorton from Alpha Protocol into a girl and see if anyone notices

[wolfleblack]

Alpha Protocol has magically reappeared for sale thanks to GoG, Sega and Obsidian

In June of 2019, Alpha Protocol vanished from sale due to music licensing issues, rendering the 2010 action-espionage-RPG unplayable to anyone who didn’t already own it or wasn’t willing to sail the high seas of piracy to get it. But now, it’s back! And it even has some improvements! Absolutely no mention of the games revival was made ahead of it simply reappearing on both Good Old Games (GoG)…

[brutalgamer]

Just like that, Alpha Protocol returns to PC thanks to GOG

Formerly long gone from online shops, developer Obsidian’s spy-themed RPG Alpha Protocol is back on the PC.

[ruvviks]

CALAMITY's team alpha looking fresh

[humormehorny]

When people talk about digital piracy, this is why

[devileaterjaek]

[rigil-kentauris]

every problem i have ever had with fictional men has stemmed from mike and sean fuck yeah with three exclaimation points. which is why i need obsidian to explain that. so i can heal.

[g4zdtechtv]

Cinematech's Trailer Park - Alpha Protocol Returns to PC

The poncing is back!

[justlikeanoldfool]

SIE, from the game Alpha Protocol (Obsidian Entertainment, 2010).