#already been wondering whether to use something less generic than 'personal/' for heavy life/mental health stuff recently ┐(‘～`；)┌

[mental-health-advice]

trigger warning for not wanting to live, trans struggles, self hatred

sorry that this is super long and whiny, no pressure to respond but thank you a lot if you do!

hello there! I'm currently unable to access therapy so I can't get diagnosed. I was already diagnosed with a sensory disorder as a child and general anxiety. I know I can't self diagnose but I want to better understand what's going on with myself and at least have an idea. Throughout my life I've felt really badly depressed. I can't remember the last time I wasn't depressed, it must have been when I was really young. The depression never goes away. It is occasionally less severe but only when I'm escaping reality. I'm transgender and I am not out to most people. I can't stop thinking obsessively about getting surgery. I fear deeply that I've been influenced somehow to feel transgender, because I don't usually feel a want with such conviction. I am never decisive, I always doubt myself, but I am so sure about how badly I need surgery that it scares me. The fact that I physically cannot stop myself from thinking about it is really concerning. My life is falling apart around me, I'm constantly failing and losing everything, and all I can think about is this daydream of getting surgery instead of fixing my life. I'm scared that I don't really want surgery and that I'm actually just telling myself that when I get surgery I will be able to fight my depression. I fear that I'm lying to myself about needing something to make it better when nothing can really heal me from depression. I understand that it won't just go away, but I want surgery so badly that I feel like it is the end goal so I can start living. It is the only thing that keeps me alive sometimes is the idea that I can do it one day and live my life and cope with depression. Sometimes I feel happiness for a second and it makes me so uncomfortable and scared because it's so foreign to me. I feel so alone. I have always felt so awful and sick about myself in every way. I don't even understand fully why I feel like I'm transgender. I know I've always hated my body and wanted to be a different gender, but I wonder if I am not trans and I actually just have self hatred problems. Inside I really do want someone to tell me, yes it's okay to be transgender and you're not wrong, go get surgery and then you'll be able to live your life. But not only is that confirmation bias ridden, wanting to hear validation so I run away from any transphobia, but. I also worry deeply that I will get surgery and then remain just as depressed because I am the problem. I feel like I am the reason my life falls apart. I dropped out of college 2 years ago and left my job and i tried going back to school but i failed my classes. I am living with my family again and I work for them but I don't really get paid enough to save anything. I'm too depressed to think of what i want to do in the future even though they ask me all the time what my plan is now that i failed again. I cant talk honestly to them about any of this. Im so scared of it i have constant nightmares about them knowing anything about me. I try to stay positive but i feel broken and useless. i am failing in every way. i dont know what to do im really desperate. Thank you a lot for being here for people.

Hey lovely,

I’m sorry to hear that you can’t access therapy. I do hope this will become a possibility in the future, so that you can get properly diagnosed, but most of all, so that you can get the treatment you need and deserve. Like you might know, we don’t promote self-diagnosis for the reasons listed here. However, we do think it’s good to be aware of your own symptoms and try to understand them better.

I’ve personally been diagnosed with Persistent Depressive Disorder (Dysthymia). This is when your depression lasts longer than two years. Throughout dealing with PDD, there can be major depressive episodes, since the depression with PDD tends to be slightly lighter / not as heavy. A different term for PDD is chronic depression, which I personally found really scary because I felt like it’d mean it’d never stop. The term chronic here is meant more as in ‘long term’, rather than ‘forever’.

It sounds like you see surgery as a chance for your depression to fall away. While I do think that you can feel better after surgery, feel more like yourself, I doubt that not having had surgery yet is the sole cause of your depression. It’s usually more complicated than that. So it can be tricky to expect so much of it, because then you can only be disappointed and I wouldn’t want you to have to go through that.

It also sounds like daydreaming about your surgery, is something that holds you up. It helps you manage your current mental state. And I’d say that’s okay! We all need something to keep us up, to escape the reality of mental health struggles. Of course you do need to face it from time to time, but you can’t do that all the time. You need an escape sometimes. So if that escape is daydreaming about surgery, I don’t want to take that away from you! I have my escape too, I read a lot of books where I can escape into different worlds.

Feeling depressed can become a security blanket too. It’s a familiar feeling. You know what it’s like. So then when you feel happiness, or at least a bit happier than usually, it’s scary. You don’t recognise that feeling. It’s completely new to you. So it feels uncomfortable and you try to get back to feeling depressed, because at least you know that feeling.

I can’t look inside your head, so I can’t tell you whether you’re transgender or not. But I can tell you that it’s completely okay to be transgender! You mention that you’ve always wanted to be a different gender, which sounds completely valid to me! Even if you hadn’t felt that way always, you could still be transgender. It’s okay to be transgender, it’s okay to want surgery. But I don’t know if it’s fair to expect to be able to live your life without depression afterwards.

Sometimes, thinking about the future can be too overwhelming. That’s what I find at least! I dropped out of uni and have been working ever since, but if I think about the future and going back to uni, I get overwhelmed. So I try to focus on the present. I’m working now and that’s okay. It’s okay for where I’m at right now. If I manage to feel better mental health wise, then maybe I can think about going to uni again. But right now that isn’t doable, so I don’t consider it. Do you think this approach might be helpful for you too?

I hope this helped at least a little bit! If there’s anything else we can do to help, please let us know.

Sometimes what seems impossible, is just hard. Love Pauline

[scripttorture]

1/? I have a character who has been caught up in a war between planets ever since he was a child. He was out into hiding from the age of 10 to 16, before watching his younger brother killed by the person prosecuting them and elder sister sell her planet (she's heir basically) to save his life and swore herself loyal to the person to save herself.

2/? (She isn't loyal, but she'd be killed otherwise.) The character is then sent to grow up on a different planet, with his mother who figureheads a resistance against the people who took the characters sister and killed his brother. That's basic backstory continuing the character eventually gets captured again, and it taken to a prison. The character is tortured in the prison bc he killed several very important people and cut off the hands of another. 3/? Its seen (by the torturers i suppose, or at least the woman ordering them to do so) as rightful punishment. I havnt quite hashed out exactly what the torture is other than he definitely by the end has rather severe nerve damage in his hands from the shackles and chronic pain/weakness in one of his legs from something or another. Anyway the characters sister was put in charge of this prison, 4/5 and has no choice but to stand by and watch as the character is tortured. She does her best to make sure he isn't killed and the character knows she has no choice but to let them hurt her bc she is just as much of a prisoner as him, albeit in an entirely seperate way. She could stop the torture, and she could get him out, but she would be killed for it and he knows it. Im just wondering if he would blame her, 5/5 because she is in charge and could stop it. But she would be killed and it would likely end with them both dead. She cares for him when she can which isn't often bc she isn't exactly allowed too. Would he blame her I suppose? She has never hurt him, but lets it happen.

-

Alright I understand what you’re going for here.

 It’s not the kind of situation that’s common enough for there to be systematic studies. Most of the time torturers and their victims don’t have a close relationship. It’s much more common to find cases where they were strangers or acquaintances prior to torture then close family or friends.

 This doesn’t make this a bad idea. It just means that there aren’t definitive answers. I’m working from a handful of anecdotes and extrapolating from other things.

 Even if this was a more common situation I don’t think you’d find many definite answers because individual variation would probably play a huge role.

 Torture changes things for survivors in a lot of unpredictable ways. While we know the possible symptoms what any individual ends up experiencing is unpredictable. And how well people cope with mental health problems, and how that in turn impacts their relationships is dependant on the person. Someone’s personal experience, friends, support network, work, general knowledge and a host of other things can effect these sorts of outcomes.

 Having that person also be tangentially involved in the survivor’s torture complicates things even further.

 What I’m trying to say is that there are a lot of plausible outcomes here and I think that makes this a writing question rather then a realism question. So the real focus is: what works best with the character?

 Blame is definitely possible in the scenario you’ve created but it doesn’t have to be straight-forward or simple.

 For instance the character might blame her while knowing logically that there’s nothing else she could do without putting both of them in more danger. And that could make him feel conflicted about blaming her, possibly feeding into self-blame as well. He could openly blame her, or he could hide his feelings for a variety of reasons.

 He might feel angry, that she’s ‘safer’ or that she can’t protect him. Or just because she ‘stands by’ and watches him at his worst. He might even come to hate her.

 But it’s also possible that he wouldn’t associate her with the torturers or guards and would view her more as a fellow (though perhaps favoured) prisoner. He might pity her. He might feel sympathetic towards her plight.

 He could plausibly have no strong feelings towards her at all.

 Whatever emotional response you think is best it’s important to tie it to what’s come before in the story.

 However you look at things he’s been away from his sister for a long time. It’s not clear to me how much time they spent together growing up (they could have been apart since he was 10 from the sounds of things).

 If they spent a lot of their childhood apart they may not have a close relationship to begin with. I don’t think that would make a particular response more likely but it could mean he has a less intense response to her presence generally. If they weren’t close before then he might not feel her presence is particular significant.

 If they were close then I think it’s a good idea to look back over the story. Read their interactions again and try to get a clear picture in your mind of what their relationship was before.

 Whatever happens you’re writing the process of how that relationship changes. And it’s really helpful to have a clear idea of where you’re starting from first. I personally find it helpful to have a clear idea of where I want to end up as well but some people prefer a more exploratory style where they find out where the characters end up as they write.

 It doesn’t matter which approach works better for you, what matters is that the intervening steps, the process of the relationship changing, are clear and understandable to your readers. And preferably pack a heavy emotional punch as well.

 So if blame is the result you want (if it isn’t use this as an example and apply the same process to the emotional response you want) think about what aspects of their relationship could feed into that.

 If they had a competitive or slightly antagonistic relationship then it might feel natural for him to place some blame on her. After all it’s probably an established pattern from their relationship. If he saw her as a protector and relied on her to keep him safe then this might feel like a huge betrayal.

 If they had a really loving, tender relationship then you might want to lean in to the illogical nature of the response. It might even be a good idea to have the character acknowledge (internally or verbally) that this isn’t a sensible response. And yet this does not make the feeling go away.

 With a more distant relationship did he feel like she betrayed her people or her family by ‘giving up’, regardless of how desperate the situation was? Or did he (as a kid raised in the rebellion) mostly view her as a prisoner?

 If he saw her as a prisoner and felt pity for her would that vanish as she stands by while he suffers? Or would it seem to confirm what he already thought; that she’s helpless, powerless.

 Find some part of their previous relationship that you can tie to this new set of feelings. Or acknowledge that it’s not a sensible response and have the character deal with more complex feelings as a result.

 Mostly try to resist the idea that there’s a ‘right’ response for your character to have.

 Try not to suggest in the story that there is one ‘proper’ response for a survivor to have. Because they are a varied bunch. People can live through more or less the same thing and come out with very different attitudes or perspectives as well as symptoms.

 The response you write should be the one that works best with your characters and the story you want to tell. Don’t feel you must use blame. Instead think about whether it adds to your story: does it create interesting character moments, obstacles for the characters or feed into the plot?

 You’re the person who knows what’s best for the story and what will work best with the characters. Be open to multiple options. Take your time and think through what works best.

 For the character himself it’s possible (may be likely) that he’d already have some trauma symptoms before he’s captured.

 I get the impression you’ve probably already seen the Masterpost on common trauma symptoms, but here it is for the new readers. :)

 For the physical injury pattern you’ve got multiple options.

 I think that really severe nerve damage suggests something more then shackles. Unless something went wrong.

 The easiest way to get both injuries in your character would be a suspension torture that was more common historically. Victims had their hands tied together in front of them, were hoisted anywhere between a few feet and two meters in the air and then dropped.

 This causes nerve damage in both hands and could cause breaks or fractures in the legs. Either could lead to chronic pain.

 Suspension without the drop would still cause nerve damage in about 15-20 minutes.

 Nerve damage is less common with restraints but it is still possible. Ratcheting cuffs that can tighten are more likely to cause nerve damage, especially if they’re applied too tightly over a long period.

 Other dangerous things that can happen with those sorts of restraints being too tight- Broken wrists and reduced circulation leading to painful swelling in the hands (look up ‘finger milking’ in my tags for more information).

 Over longer periods (multiple hours with the cuffs tight enough to cause swelling in the hands) blood clots might form and that uh… really dangerous. Basically if large blood clots start forming in a limb due to reduced circulation then they either block the blood vessels (which kills the limb and leads to amputation) or the clot gets swept back into the body when the restraints are removed. The clot usually then lodges in the brain or the heart causing a stroke or a heart attack respectively.

 I’d say suspension probably works better for your purposes.

 Standing stress positions can lead to chronic pain in the legs. But it often also effects the back and usually effects both legs.

 Falaka might work. It’s beating the soles of the feet with an implement. Depending on the implement it can be clean, scarring or even lethal. With a harder implement like a wooden stick it can lead to fractured or broken bones in the feet.

 But even when falaka is performed in a ‘clean’ manner it can lead to chronic pain. It causes a thickening of the tendons in the soles and also causes tiny bone fragments to detach inside the feet. It’s unclear how long these bone fragments stick around but they’re detectable by MRI for a few months with the right method.

 You could also just go with the idea of the leg injury being the result of a specific attack or accident. A broken knee perhaps, after a beating or a fall. Not all injuries in torture scenarios are ‘deliberate’, in the sense that they weren’t necessarily intentional. Because torturers are not as in control of the situation as they’d like people to believe.

 I think I’ll leave it at that for now, but if you have any further questions don’t hesitate to come by when the askbox is open. :)

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[thepoeticwit]

SPM: School, Parenting, Mental Health

(image credit: Lasie Slezac; Source: unsplash.com)

   For some, if not most of us Malaysians, we would have gone through the local government school system. This school system can be broken down into three levels: primary (UPSR), lower secondary (PT3) and upper secondary (SPM) excluding Form 6 (STPM) which is pretty much pre-university already. Those days in school were when memories both good and bad were made, and the gravity of stress and expectations were on your shoulders. Do you remember that? Do you remember whether your parents were strict or harsh on you just to get grades that would satisfy them? Do you remember breaking down and questioning yourself if going to school was really worth it? How about when you were looked down upon by many because you were inadequate? Have you ever feared that you would never make it out alive?

  These are the things that students today have to put up with. If you are an adult or elderly reading this, there is only a small chance that you are able to relate to the feelings above. Chances are that the circumstances and environment of the schooling system back then in the past 50 years or more were different compared to how things are as of now. The strictness of parents was present, as always. You already knew that school was worth it because back then education was the key to surpass poverty, and everything was less developed compared to now.

 It would seem that it has been deeply ingrained into the roots of the Asian culture, especially that in Malaysian families to regard strict discipline in all things especially education as a necessity in order to strive for personal greatness, honour and pride to the family name. Thus, this has been made into a cycle that goes on for generations. Some families may misinterpret this value and take it to the extremes, to the extent of abuse and violence. For instance, as I was browsing through Facebook, I saw a post made by an anonymous user on a university confession page who was deemed to be an SPM candidate.

 “Ever wonder what it’s like to be a teenage girl getting beaten by your parents? Not that slipper whacking. Being slammed to the wall, punched and slapped. Yeah, that's right. While having someone pull your hair so tightly and while you're crying wishing that you could just die that moment and end it all and that person brings you to the mirror and tells you to look at your shitty self.” She adds that she had suffered injuries such as bleeding in between her eyes, bruises, insults such as “retarded” (and other obscenities that won’t be mentioned here), broken spectacles, threats involving money, and a show of religion saying how God can see how useless she is. All this was done to her by her parents. “If God thinks beating up your daughter, constantly bullying her and wanting to make her kill herself then it is no God at all—it’s worse than a demon.”

 Having read that confession posted on that particular Facebook page, I wondered: does the local parenting culture make allowance for extremities such as this? Does parenting in Asian culture determine the methods of raising the child to be good and effective? Or does this do more harm than good, especially if the culture even allows this extreme? “It is definitely doing more harm than good,” said Grace Chan, a counsellor and Psychology lecturer at Methodist College Kuala Lumpur (MCKL). “This whole 'strict’ culture, particularly in achievement of grades is a selfish approach. Yes on one hand, parents are eager for children to succeed. But the definition of success for a lot of Asian parents are cookie-cutters; they are essentially the same. This cradle-to-grave path would likely start by achieving outstanding grades in university and to get a professional role and of course, to earn a sizable income.”

 In my own opinion, should such an instance of child abuse exist in families under the name of “discipline” and for the sake of culture, we have come to a point where change is needed in the methods of parenting in order to facilitate a healthier and more holistic growth and building of character. Otherwise, it is downright bullying and condescending upon a child-- the child has thus not failed the parents, rather it was the parents who have failed the child. Miss Suria (not her real name) a lecturer in Sociology had put it nicely, “Parents do not know what real learning is, so the only way they can measure how good the child is getting is by how good their results are”, She had also added that the strictness of parents is usually out of fear of not being able to provide for the child, and also wanting to use the child as a status symbol to improve their social standing among friends and family.

   Let’s take a look back to what we’ve observed comparing the education system then and now. As of now, there are still tiger mums and dads out there forcing strict discipline on their child; heavy pressure overwhelms students, while the students themselves barely know how to cope with it and are thus easily crushed; having been crushed and mentally worn out, students develop anxiety and depression which easily gets the better of them; they do not view school as being worth going to because they are going to get backlash for even trying to do something to learn; all in all, they would also have a low view of themselves which may (and God forbid) lead them to the point of even taking their own lives. 

“Academic success becomes more and more important to the point they don’t care about anything else, then you will get small children killing themselves,” said Miss Suria. “So we’re not talking about 18-year-olds killing themselves, we got 10 or 12-year-olds killing themselves. So, the more serious it becomes, the more earlier the effects can be seen. I personally have seen children as young as six, seven, nine-years-old who are depressed and stressed because of this ‘kiasu’ culture that we have.” Here is a general fact: 20% of adolescents (aged 13 to 18) may experience a mental health problem at any given year, making it the group that is most susceptible to mental illness. Another fact is that 10% of children and young people (aged 5 to 16) have a clinically diagnosable mental problem, yet 70% of children and adolescents who experience mental health problems have not had appropriate interventions at a sufficiently early age.

  Just read the news: there are cases of suicide due to academic stress. The most recent case was reported on October 1, when a Form 3 student jumped to her death just mere hours before the PT3 examinations. This is only one of the many cases. How about that time three years ago when an SPM candidate hung himself in his room out of frustration of being unable to answer his Additional Mathematics paper 1 that afternoon (Nov. 25, 2015)? Again, only another of the many cases. What does this say? Would the correlation between academics, expectations, and mental health entail a causation? Rightly so, for if it were not for the extremely harsh attitude of parents toward their child (not even taking into account bullying in school, among other things) it would not have lead them to develop anxiety over the stress of grasping academic excellence for the sake of pleasing parents that are hard to please anyway. So, life is a mess, we are all screwed up, nobody loves me, I hate myself, school is not worth going to, and it is probably for the best that I leave this cruel world.

  So what shall we say about discipline? Should corporal punishment still be accepted to an extent, or completely eradicated for good? On one hand Grace Chan says, “Have no involvement of physical punishment; impact that would most affect a child in such a situation will definitely be on mental health.” Yet, on the other hand, Miss Suria says, “It’s the expectations that the parent has on the child that drives the child insane into mental illness.” She goes on to say that it is not entirely the parents fault but that parents get such an attitude from the pressures they receive from society and its expectations.

  Don’t misunderstand me. I do not condemn the discipline of our parents. Strictness is necessary where it is due, to correct and to shape our character. However, if it goes to the extent of it being overboard, abusive, merciless and unloving, then it is a grave sin to repent of. Perhaps there is a lesson to learn: we should gauge where to draw the line before strict discipline becomes abuse. Ever more rightly so, we should see children as human beings having intrinsic worth and the capability of doing whatever gift or talent they have been blessed with—we shall see past their flaws with eyes of grace and nurture them on the path they should lead. As I would go with Miss Suria’s verdict: parents need to be re-educated on what real learning is, and then they will know that it really is not about the grades.

[booabug]

*sigh* there's been a lot of discourse going on in the fandom recently, but I'm really glad you keep a lot of it off your blog. I was in a really dark place before I found ml and I'm forever grateful for it even when it can be problematic.

oh man, hard same. myself from before ml would not be recognizable to y’olks and I honestly consider that a good thing. It’s indicative of my personal growth. Part of that becoming more of someone I wanna be has been trying to keep this a good vibes zone, though I’ll answer kinda salty stuff too and keep it real with like, heavy mental health stuff.

im sorry to hear discourse has been draining on you. i hella know that feel. went “on break” before over it (but was still p active, it was barely a break at all) and during, considered leaving altogether. but you know what? no. pardon my language but to darn diddly heck with the negativity, and dangnabbit to letting it ruin something I love!

now im here, im cheesier than ever, and im not going anywhere~ ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

ive chosen to run a blog that can be a safe, funny, fluffy space for other miraculers. its rly rewarding whenever i hear ive achieved that for someone! i just hope nobody will be shy about asking for me to do whatever will improve that sense for them.

To go on with that subject,

I mean “Please let me know if you want anything tagged!” It’s why ive kept it through any and every blog description edit. I use #swearing because someone said it can get to them; they added “only when it’s really bad,” but I’m like 75% sure they were understating things to be nice. I do slip up on these things… discoursey stuff makes it here, I’ve been swearing quite a bit lately, and I can lose my cool, but really—honestly, sincerely, truly—to anyone reading this:

Please, do not hesitate to say if anything on this blog makes you uncomfortable. Whatever it is, even if you worry it sounds weird or too sensitive, I will not judge you. Something in your life has made whatever it is burdensome, and I don’t want to add to that burden even in the slightest. You all know I roll around in the tags section like a pig in mud anyway. My memory’s usually good about filter tags! I don’t mind avoiding subjects either.

It’s not much for me to do. It’s like… literally the least I can do to help. I can do that much though, and if you just ask, I will.

[umgsoeminoo-blog]

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Lets you lose the fat present in your system by a completely natural method of changing the way in which Your Body Works. Keto Ultra Diet Australia is a good way through which you can cut the fat present in your body by replacing the source of energy from carbohydrates to fat. Keto Ultra Diet Australia is a way through which we can reduce your appetite if it is something which you cannot do manually on your own. Through this formula, a person can easily keep away the cravings at a distance because it contains an ingredient to known as hydroxycitric This supplement helps you to keep dieting while you also retain the essential minerals and vitamins which your body requires for everyday functions. This means that while you are taking Keto Ultra Diet Australia, your body will have the essential vitamins and minerals even though you will be on a diet. Keto Ultra Diet Australia completely safe and natural way for you to reduce weight, and it works almost on everyone who takes it. This supplement has the capability to get back your confidence to you. Keto Ultra Diet Australia will help you go a little easy on yourself and requires you not to do the heavy training which you otherwise would need to do in order to share the extra weight from your body. Cons of Keto Ultra Diet Australia It is not meant for the people who fall below the age of 18 years. Keto Ultra Diet Australia will work only if you make some effort on your own. This does not mean that the supplement requires you to do heavy raining or do spend hours in the gym, however, it simply means that you can reduce extra weight from your body by doing a minimal amount of exercising and dieting which is supported by the supplement. Keto Ultra Diet Australia only if you are consistent with it. There is no supplement which can provide you with the results if you are not regular on it. So start using it today, and make sure that you are continuous on earth in order to see any results after a period of one or two months. Who should use it? if you want to know if the whether you are suitable to use Keto Ultra Diet Australia or not, then let us tell you if you are. This supplement is meant for your consumption on a regular basis only if you fall above the age of 18 years. Since it will be bringing dramatic changes in your metabolic system, it is essential that used for in the adult’s category to be using the supplement on a continuous routine. In addition to this, if you feel that any of your medical situations cause you to take regular medications for some purpose format and Keto Ultra Diet Australia is not meant for you. Finally, pregnant on breastfeeding women are not supposed to take the supplement before the consultation of a doctor.

Where to get Keto Ultra Diet Australia from? If you want finally interested in getting the formula called Keto Ultra Diet Australia, then you might want to make a purchase right from here. If you want to make the online order of Keto Ultra Diet Australia, then click a link which we have given on this page. Redirecting you to the online ordering link website, the supplements can be ordered by following some simple steps. Also, if you purchase multiple bottles at once, the supplement will give you some discount from our which is going to reduce the price per bottle of Keto Ultra Diet Australia. So make sure that you use this link to online order the supplement, is it is not available on any offline Store. To get some exciting offers, now because the stock is limited.

Conclusion In conclusion, it can be said that this supplement is something which every obese person must give a try to. Keto Ultra Diet Australia something which is to be used continuously if you wish to see the results. Needless to say, the formula will work effectively only if you are making some efforts from your own side. In the end, everyone has started to loved Keto Ultra Diet Australia, and have also recommended it to friends and family. So why don’t you give a chance to the supplement yourself, and make your own conclusion on it? In order to buy it, make sure that you click the link right from here to get some exciting discounts and offers. We are sure that this statement is not going to disappoint you as the others have.