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#also I get to be stuck in the house all goddamn weekend now
raeathnos · 2 years
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holdharmonysacred · 1 year
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I have posted a grand total of Jack and Shit these past couple of weeks, i Gotta get back to posting eventually. But today my mom flew on down to florida to go to didney whorl, and once she got there she wandered around some of the resorts. She did manage to snag some little plushies of Alice and the White Rabbit for me to add to my hoard, but god knows what else she’s found down there. The real power goal for her of course is to find some doggie-safe stuffed toys for my little old baby man doggie, because he would be so upset to see everyone else get presents while he gets nothing (though he’d also just be overjoyed to see his mom again after missing her for a week). Truly a wild, wild time.
Also I forgot to post an update on that bears poll but my blind box figure is now in the US! Tracking has been stuck at Inbound At Customs for the whole weekend, so god only knows if it actually is there or if it is hurtling towards my house at untracked speeds. I should get that later this week though, tomorrow at earliest! And once I do I’ll bring the poll back and show the final vote results and what the bear ended up actually being.
Besides all that I’ve basically been just Consumed by Genshin this past week. The new world quests are a goddamn rabbit hole in how they all connect to each other, and it’s also just fun to have a whole new region to run around in. I’ve been juggling between a mad rush for gacha rocks to try to gamble on a 50/50 for Lyney and doing some grinding to raise Lynette up, I’ve got her parked at some playable enough levels that tomorrow I’ll change gears and start grinding for artifact EXP fodder to finish getting Kokomi relatively caught up. I’m genuinely having a fun time though, I love swimming around in the new underwater segments.
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tuneyouout · 2 years
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I want to write an actual update entry but the truth is that every other day I am sick and nervous and overwhelmed and I really can’t function at high enough capacity to do that. So, it’ll be this.
My last ~proper entry was June 2021; it had notes about the same issue I’m having now except we’ve accelerated into finding out portion of fucking around. Mind you, I “fucked around” with permission granted.
My mom never recovered 100% from her TIA in 2020 and while she isn’t dying or an invalid or even incapable of living normally, it scared the shit out of me!! And every goddamn time we’d have any sort of post-covid return to office townhall at work I would spiral into the fear that I would be stuck in LA forever, working 7 days a week to feel financially steady, and never be able to be there for my mom when something eventually would change in her health. I would lose entire work days to this dread. And in February 2022 when I noticed some cognitive changes in her, I started freaking out worse. But then. My coworker got permission from my boss to start looking for a house in the Palm Spring area and once the move in date was official she went as far as announcing his news to our entire LA office. The relief I felt in this happening was beyond.
So I assessed my existence, kept an eye on my mom, and by May I was having the relocation talk with my boss. It was all “yeah of course! No worries!” and when I mentioned my abilities to still come to the office maybe like every other week if I needed to it was met with “we’ll figure it out, no problem.” After letting my roommate know that although I was completely flexible to her scheduling needs, my moving home was in motion, within a week she worked out a plan that admittedly, was much quicker than I expected, but had me raging my last days as an LA local in June and fully home the first weekend of July.
And after 3 months of house projects and odd peace, right as the boredom and existential fear of what I set myself up for started setting in, on October 13th we were told we needed to be back in the office 3 days a week, starting January. About 2hrs later, after it was evident my boss would not be calling me or my coworker to reaffirm our approved scenarios, I called my boss, bordering on hysteria and panic, and got absolutely zero support. After this, I spent the next 4 hours in my bedroom crying and staring, terrified of what the fuck I was going to do. The next day, I worked, saw Midtown in Orange County, drove to LAX, slept in my car for a few hours, and boarded a flight to the east coast at 5am Saturday morning to see Fireworks (and The Wonder Years) for the first time in 7 years. I had a wonderful weekend of meeting and seeing internet friends, driving across New England for a second show and trying not to let this massive bomb kill my joy. It was having 2 drinks instead of 3, and buying 1 shirt instead of 2, and just trying to not let my gut be chaos the whole time.
I contacted HR who told me my boss should’ve done an official approval when we had the initial conversation and now it would be much trickier to okay. They told me my boss should understand and be able to be flexible as to not expect me in the office that often when I’m 130 miles away. Yet here we are, with people now going in the office, my boss not giving any specific directions or approvals but also not giving off any hint of being cool, and I’m just working as I have been, knowing the clock is ticking. Dread. I’ve been applying to jobs!! I had 1 interview in November and while I don’t think I’ll be getting that, just getting an interview did boost some confidence. It’s just a fucking awful position to be in.
8 months ago I was nervous about my mom but making good money, had a great apartment and best friend of a roommate, was lovingly fulfilled by my weekend job, loving my friends and people around me, donating funds to lives and causes, planning trips. I almost fucking felt like I was getting my footing in LA after 15 years. And now, I’m in a job wasteland, too far from friends to get drunk and emotional with, too financially panicked to give myself a weekend to make plans for that, and living on a motherfucking prayer I don’t eventually have to go work a retail or service job where I’ll be lucky if I get insurance I can survive on. For the record, I am not fucking above any job, but without decent insurance and wages, this chronic condition becomes slowly life threatening.
I guess you’d call this regression. I left a fun job and all my friends. Convinced myself that I’m brave enough for all this. Well.
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luxflora · 2 years
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vent post below
killing killing killing violence and death. buffalo wild wings is still fucking open until midnight butbyou can't order after 10:30. but nowhere on the app or website does it indicate this until after 10:30 WHEN YOU CANT FUCKING ORDER. im so mad and hungry i just wanted to order teriyaki wings and watch transformers tonight after work and WHAT DO I GET TO FUCKING DO? NOT THAT. AND I CAN'T GET PIZZA EITHER BECAUSE PIZZA IS CLOSED TOO. GOD FUCKING DAMN IT AND EVEN FUCKING HOT POCKETS DOESN'T SELL THE BBQ CHICKEN HOT POCKETS ANYMORE. I JUST WANT BARBEQUE AND CARBOHYDRATES AND ROBOTS AND I DON'T EVEN GET TO WORK THE HAUNTED HOUSE THIS WEEKEND. NO I'M STUCK AT THE FUCKING RODEO ALL WEEKEND WHICH IS A GODDAMN SHITSHOW. AND I JUST - UGH. GOD FUCKING DAMN IT I NEED CARBOHYDRATES AND IF I CAN FIGURE SOME SHIT OUT, BARBEQUE. at least the fucking GAS STATION is open 24/7 again so I was able to stop in there and get a cherry pepsi. Part of me wants to find something alcoholic to take the edge off tonight but I know it would just put me in a worse mood for tomorrow which I can't afford. I'm mad bc Thursday is BOGO boneless wings so I ONLY get buffalo wild wings on thursday. Maybe I'll order a fucking pizza for tomorrow night. I have some chinese food which should be okay but I need to make some more rice to eat with it and I really don't want to deal with that until Sunday at the earliest. I slept like shit last night. I just. And my fucking sinuses are going nuts. I hope it's just the weather and I'm not coming down with something, my nose & throat have been pretty bad the past few days. And I'm having anxiety bc I had a root canal last week, which wentbgreat, but is expensive, and I have a follow-up appointment in early November, which will probably also be expensive because they'll probably have to replace a crown, and then there's car shit and Halloween shit and Christmas coming up, and I need to find a job with insurance ASAP bc that's going to run out soon. But I have to work as much as I can right now bc this is our busy season, and once it slows down in mid November, it will slow down a LOT. And last year we actually didn't get to have a couple of the big shows that we always have so who knows how much we'll have in the spring. God I need to eat something. And take a shower. And maybe a bath. And chill the fuck out.
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kpop---scenarios · 3 years
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Cravings || One
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Pairing: Vampire! Hongjoong x Reader
Warning: None Yet
Word Count: 3.1k
A/N: If you would like to be tagged, let me know!
"Babe, hey babe." Your boyfriend, Chad calls out to you, as you're sitting at the kitchen table, running over over bills again and trying to figure out how the fuck you're going to try to pay everything. You worked damn hard, and barely had anything to show for it. Ever since Chad had moved in a few months ago, without an invitation, you were stressed. Everything had gone up and doubled since he hadn't left, and he also hadn't contributed anything financially towards the household. You paid for rent, utilities, groceries and you even paid when the two of you went out for dinner. Chad worked full time, but where his money was going, you had no fucking idea. He constantly went out with his 'boys' , often coming home obliterated, and just expecting you to have your legs spread open for him when he rolled in, apparently that was your duty as his girlfriend, according to him. As if not contributing and acting like a man child was such a turn on. Not to mention the countless hours he spent on your gaming console, yelling and talking to his friends, leaving you no time to play any games that you like, unless you wanted to wake up a few hours before you had to work to sneak on it. But by the time you got home from work, cleaned up the messes he made throughout the day, made yourself dinner, showered and got into your PJ'S, you were too damn tired to do anything. You knew you had to wake up the next day and do it all over again, so any sleep you got was precious. 
A part of you often wondered why you were in this relationship with him. Maybe you were scared to be alone, maybe you didn't think you could do any better than him, but you stuck with him, because for some reason, you loved the guy. 
"What do you want, Chad?" You sigh, walking into the living room where he's sprawled out on the couch, headset on and his match paused. "I'm trying to figure out bills, you know that thing that keeps us warm, and with light and hot water, that you said you'd help pay and haven't." 
"Yeah, babe, can you go to the corner store and get those Takis, you know the ones I like? The not so spicy ones though babe, cause remember I have acid reflux, and a diet coke." He says, turning back to the screen, laughing at something said through his head phones. 
You could feel the rage building up inside of you, awfully quick, and it was seeping out of you even quicker.
"Are you going to pay for said snacks?" You ask, trying to keep your voice calm. 
"What?" He laughs. "Babe, no, come on. I'm broke. I don't get paid again for two weeks. You know this." 
"You just got paid yesterday." You breathe through gritted teeth. "Where the hell did all your money go?" You ask, your hands balled into fists. 
"You know babe, I had the fantasy football league entry, plus I owed Kyle money for the keg bomber last weekend, and I took the boys out for supper yesterday. Shit adds up." He says, never looking at you, only focusing on the game. 
"And that's my problem, why exactly? Why is it always on me just because you're not financially stable. Grow up, you're 35 for christ sakes!" You yell. You stomp to the kitchen, grabbing your purse and slipping on your shoes before heading back into the living room. 
"Yeah, she's got her shoes and purse." He laughs. "She's definitely going to get my stuff." 
"You know what Chad? I'm definitely not going to get your snacks, get your own fucking snacks, Chaaad. I'm going for a drink, with my own goddamn money." You spit, storming out of the house. 
You're wandering down the street, like you had been for the last thirty five minutes, and finally you found somewhere that looked decent enough. You walk in, and the lights are on very low, the place is almost dark, had it not been for the red lights swinging above tables, or the string of red lights wrapping around the ceiling. Your eyes wander the open floor of seating as a soft beat vibrates through the building. Every person in here who was sitting with someone was leaning closely to that person, seemingly having an intense conversation. The vibes felt dark and eerie, but you welcomed it, you enjoyed it instead of being around Chad's fuck boy mentality. You walk towards the bar, sliding onto one of the empty bar stools and setting your purse on your lap. Your eyes were looking down when you felt a presence standing in front of you. You look up and see quite possibly the most beautiful man you have ever seen. 
"What can I get for you?" He asks, his voice is deep, yet so smooth and calming.
"Double vodka and coke please, and for the love of god, keep them coming." You sigh. After your comment you see the slightest hint of a smile appear on his lips, disappearing even quicker than it came. 
"Bad day?" He asks, beginning to pour your drink. 
"Bad relationship." You groan. He nods his head as he slides your drink towards you. 
"Wanna talk about it?" He asks, leaning on the bar with his chin resting on his hands as he waits for you to speak. You look into his eyes, and they're so warm and mesmerizing, you felt safe and secure, like you could tell him anything. Which is exactly what you did.
"What's your name?" You ask. 
"Hongjoong." He replies. "You?" 
"Y/N." 
"Okay Y/N, what's bothering you?" 
"My boyfriend, we've been together for just over a year, and well.. he's something, and not the good something like people usually say. He moved in with me, without even asking me if I wanted to, and I just kind of accepted it. He doesn't pay anything, no bills, rent, groceries, nothing. It's all on me, even though he does work full time. He forgot my birthday, went out and got absolutely plastered with his 'boys'. On Valentine's Day, he took me out for dinner, and can you guess who was there?" You ask. 
"His boys?" He answered. 
"You sir, are correct. I was ignored the entire evening, and then he and his boys left, I ended up paying the bill, and I had to uber home because he had driven us there. Not to mention the fact that he assumes I'm just there for his pleasure, expecting me to be spread eagle for him whenever he decides to show up." You finish, chugging your drink as you try not to gag on the strong taste of vodka. 
"Why are you with him then? He doesn't sound like he contributes to the relationship at all, so why do you stay?" He asks. 
'Honestly, I'm not entirely sure." You answer as he slides another drink in front of you.
"Now that's a bullshit excuse." He replies. "There's a reason that you clearly don't want to admit." 
"Do you ever smile?" You ask him. 
"No." He answers. "Now, why won't you leave him?" 
"Because it's safe, I guess? I don't know if I can do any better than him." You shrug. 
"Y/N, you have no idea how much better you could do." He says. 
** 
From the moment Hongjoong had a whiff of the scent that was coming into his bar, he knew that it was the scent of the one. He intensely watched the door, waiting for the one it belonged too to walk through the door. As soon as you did, it was almost as though his heart could have started beating once again, the ice cold blood that ran through his body could have turned warm just by the sight of you. He isn't sure what it is about you, but he had always been told that he would know when he found the one, and having been alive for over a century, he had just assumed that it wasn't in the cards for him, and now he knows why. Because all his life he had been waiting for you. The person that he would do anything for, the person that he would be anything for had finally walked into his life, and for once he felt an ounce of hope, until, you had mentioned the filthy human you were in a relationship with, not to mention one that treated you like absolute garage, and you had assumed that no one better would love you, but shit were you ever wrong. He was standing right in front of you, and though you had just met him, he loved you with everything he had and would do anything and everything to protect you. 
**
"I appreciate your advice, Hongjoong, but it's getting late and I have to work tomorrow." You sigh. "How much do I owe you?" You ask, grabbing your card from your wallet. 
"It's on me." He tells you, grabbing your empty glass.
"Well thank you." You smile. "It was nice meeting you." You tell him as you slide off the stool. 
"You too." He says, watching you walk away from him. 
That night when you got home, you couldn't get Hongjoong off your mind, a smile spread across your face as you walked through your front door, and headed into the living room, then it instantly dropped. Chad had not moved from the spot you had previously left him in a few hours ago. "Oh, babe." He says, sucking the cheeto dust from his fingers. "Kyle brought me some snacks, since you threw a huge temper tantrum about my snacks, you can just venmo or cash app him, k?" He says, going back to playing his game. 
You went to bed that night, dreaming of one man, who was not your man. 
**
Over the next few weeks, you had absolutely no desire to be at home. So you headed to the bar that Hongjoong worked at, everyday after work for a drink, or two, or four. In those weeks the two of you spent an ample amount of time getting to know each other, you were sure he knew you better than Chad ever did.  You didn't want to see Chad, you didn't want to be near him and it was bad enough that he constantly texted you throughout the day, sending you lists of things to buy from the grocery store, as if he wasn't able to do it himself. But much to your surprise, he didn't text you when you never came home with his snacks, he didn't check in with you throughout the day, and honestly it no longer bothered you. 
You felt your feelings for Hongjoong deepen with every encounter the two of you had, every time you saw him it was like nothing you had ever felt with Chad, your emotions were amplified around Hongjoong and you weren't sure how much longer you could keep them hidden. 
"One more." You tell Hongjoong, as you set down your fourth glass. 
You can tell he wants to smile, but he's too good at controlling his emotions. "You've had enough, I'm cutting you off." He tells you. 
You pout, trying to give him your best puppy dog eyes, but absolutely nothing got to the man and it was frustrating as fuck. 
"A bad storm is coming, you should probably get home." He tells you, drying off some glasses. 
"I don't want to go home, he's there." You scoff, just thinking about Chad made you want to vomit. "I guess I could just get a motel room, at that place across the street." You say, pointing over to the run down motel, that had flickering lights, and probably a rat and cockroach infestation. 
"You will do no such thing." Hongjoong replies. "You can stay at my place." He says. "Give me a minute." He walks from around the bar, towards the back of the building, and you can't help but to turn in your stool and watch him walk away, damn he looks good. 
Within seconds he's back, grabbing your bag and scooping you up into his arms as he effortlessly carries you out the door. 
"I can walk." You object. 
"I know." He says, his face stone cold. 
"You're very pale." You tell him, as if he didn't know. 
"I know." He replies, unlocking the door to his car. 
"And you're very cold." You say. 
He sighs. "I know." He finishes as he slides you into the passenger seat of his car. 
As soon as he started his car, the rain began pouring as thunder and lightning jolted the sky. 
"You were right, there's a storm." You say, watching out your window. 
"I know." He replies, this time it sounded different. You turned to look at him, hoping you'd catch him smiling but no such luck. 
He continues driving, taking you out into the middle of nowhere, out of city limits, this was it, this was probably when you died. You panicked slightly but you felt it in your entire body that he was not going to murder you, at least not that night. 
Hongjoong pulls up to a gate, punching in a few numbers to open the gate, which just blocked off a winding road. You squinted as you tried to see where you were going but it was far too dark for you to see anything, until you pulled up to a beautiful mid-century mansion that made your mouth drop. It was absolutely stunning and you couldn't believe that he lived there. 
"Seriously? This is where you live?" You say. 
"MY family, but yeah." He answers, parking the car near the entrance. 
He hops out of his seat, walking towards your side to open the door for you, pulling you inside before you get too wet. He dragged you up a large flight of stairs, not letting you admire the inside of his house. He put you inside a large room, with a large bed and a bathroom ensuite. "There's towels if you want to shower, I'll be back in a bit to check on you." He says, avoiding all eye contact before walking out of the room. 
You let out a deep breath as you take off your heels, unbutton your pants and unhook your bra, placing it all next to the bed. You sit down on the bed in your underwear and t-shirt, wondering what to do, until your phone rings. 
Looking at the caller ID, you didn't want to answer it, but you felt it would be unfair for you to do so. 
"Hello?" You answer. 
"Hey babe, it's me.. it's Chad." He says. 
"I know who it is." You sigh. 
"Look.. I know you've been terrible, oh, wait, I mean I've been terrible in our relationship lately but I want to make almonds." He says. "No idiot, it's amends." You hear from the background. 
"Are you kidding me right now? Do you seriously have Brad over to help you?" You yell. 
"Well yeah, he noticed that we were drifting apart and offered to help me get you back." Chad explains. 
You get up off the bed, pacing on the hardwood floors as you tried to process what he just said to you. 
"The fact that you didn't even notice that we were drifting apart is all that I need to hear. You know what, Chad? I'm done. I'm done with this relationship, I'm done with you. Just get out of my apartment, I'm over it." You yell, hanging up the phone. 
You stand there, taking deep breaths as you replay the conversation you just had, he didn't even care enough to notice that you'd been pulling away. That kind of hurt, but then again it was Chad. He was never very perceptive. 
A knock at the door before it suddenly opens, reveals Hongjoong, walking into the room. He tried to play it cool with the fact that you were practically naked in front of it. 
"I heard yelling. You okay?" He asks as lightning strikes, causing the power to flicker. 
"Chad called, he had his friend Brad over to feed him lines because Brad noticed we were drifting apart." You explain. "But I did it. I ended things." You proudly admit. 
"Good for you." He says, staring at you, while you stare back at him. A crack of thunder hits loudly, making you jump, and within seconds Hongjoong's arms are wrapped around you, like he was protecting you. You look at him and he looks at you, and before you can tell yourself not to, your lips are pressed against him, and he is kissing you back. 
The kiss turns passionate and needy in seconds, both of your desires for one another coming out without any control. He moves you both to the bed, laying you down as he hovers over you, his strong arms keeping him above you. You wrap your arms and legs around him, pulling his body closer to yours, feeling him near was all you'd wanted. His ice cold fingers touch your stomach as he begins to lift your shirt up, you can feel his cock slowly becoming harder. You begin lifting his shirt, when his phone rings. He stands up, whispering an apology before answering his phone, barely speaking any words. 
"I'm so sorry, Y/N. I have some things to take care of." He says. 
"Oh, yeah, no problem." You say, sitting on the edge of the bed. 
"Get some sleep." He tells you before walking out of the bedroom door, leaving you alone once again. 
You tried to fight the exhaustion you felt, but it was far too hard. You got snuggled underneath the blankets, watching the door, hoping he would come back but your eyelids got too heavy for you to keep open, and you swiftly drifted off to sleep, finally feeling some peace. 
**
The warm sun was shining into the room, waking you up. You let out a little stretch before opening your eyes, only to see five men standing around you. You sit up, moving to the wall, as these men stare at you. You looked at them all, and they all looked similar to Hongjoong. Pale skin, dark eyes, dark head, blood red lips. 
"Who are you?" One of them asks. 
"Y/N." You whisper. 
Another one speaks up, looking at the other four men. "Who the fuck brought a human home?" 
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ererokii · 4 years
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Line without a Hook || E. Jaeger & J. Kirstein
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➳ Jean Kirsten x Fem Reader x Eren Jaeger
Word count: 4,517 Warnings: angst, fluff, unrequited love, cursing ➳ note: this is based off the song Line Without a Hook by Ricky Montgomery! I’ve been thinking this for a long time and I’m super excited by how it came out! Also big thanks to @reddriot​ for betaing!
➳ Synopsis: is love really worth it? Let me say, it’s not always worth it.
You can hold my hand if no one’s home.
Do you like it when I’m away?
☽✧ ✦ ✧☾
It starts out simple really. A boy and a girl. Childhood friends, to be precise. Those two are inseparable. Nothing can tear the friends apart, besides their parents, of course. Like two peas in a pod. 
Jean says he knows you like the back of his hand. He truly means that. He knows your favorite boy bands from when you were younger, how many terrible phases you’ve gone through, favorite foods, and places. If he wrote a novel about the things you told him, he would be a renowned author. 
Since kindergarten to now, in the middle of your junior year, you and Jean have been side by side. You told him everything. From random vents and gossiping about the rude girls in your class to how horrible your period cramps were— even though Jean hated hearing about the last, he stuck through it for you.
Only you. 
The pavement that followed the street your house was on is memorable. Jean can recall the amount of times you’ve had races, chalk scribbles covering the grey that would be washed away by the angry neighbors. 
He listens to you as you talk about a kid getting in trouble in your Calculus class, watches how lively your motions are as you speak. Jean can’t help but smile when a laugh slips past your lips and you glance at him. There’s an unknown sparkle in his eyes, one filled with love. 
You haven’t changed one bit, he thinks as he faces back forward, shoving his hands in the front pockets of his jeans. His mind begins to wander as you both continue down the pavement, part of your routine when school ends. 
Your houses are right next to each other. You’ve been with him since you were in diapers. He was there when your first tooth came out, congratulating you, and you were there for him when he finally learned to ride his bike with two wheels instead of three. 
The bubbly lovable five-year-old back then is the same as you are now. 
☽✧ ✦ ✧☾
Oh all my emotions
Feel like explosions when you are around
A sigh of disappointment leaves Jean’s lips when he listens to Connie talk about something he has learned over the weekend (something completely stupid— he just doesn’t care). Currently, the students are at lunch, the cafeteria full with loud shouts and random noises. 
“Connie, shut up,” Sasha groans, placing her water bottle on the table, wiping her crumbs off. “No one cares that you finally figured out how to stick a spoon to your nose.”
“What do you mean?! You were the one who showed me!”
The brunette gasps and looks over his way, cream cheeks tinted with an adorable shade of pink, pointing a finger at him. The bickering between the two commence as Jean listens, slightly amused. 
As much as he indulges in their argument, he can't help but wonder where you are. 
It’s not like you to skip lunch, especially without at least letting him know. Did you stay behind to talk to a friend? A teacher? Maybe you went to the bathroom.
But it’s at least 15 minutes in. 
“Sasha,” he speaks up, slicking back his hair. The sound of her name catches her attention, making her look at him. “Have you seen Y/N?”
“Y/N?” she asks in a whisper before her lips curl in a grin, already knowing why he asked. “Do you miss her?”
“Just answer my goddamn question!”
“Wait, what’s going on?” Connie asks, looking between his friends before stopping his gaze on Jean. “Why do you need Y/N?”
“Oh, you know! He lik-”
“Shut up!” Jean shouts, catching the attention of nearby students, his face heating up as his cheeks turn a darker pigment. “Just answer me!”
“If you must know,” she taunts him, twirling a strand of hair from her loose ponytail. “I saw her talking to someone in the hallway. Must be important, she’s been there for quite some time. Might want to be her knight in shining armor and saving her, huh?” she cocks her head to the side, staring at one of the windows in the room, watching as the branches of trees sway from the harsh winds. 
The atmosphere outside was cold, breezes rushing down on anyone who was not inside. The sun was hidden by the thick grey blankets filled with rainwater, waiting to shower the world. The temperature recently has been dropping, mid 50’s at least. The weather was a shock, to say the least. 
“I didn’t know Jean likes her!”
“What do you mean?!” Sasha gasps, turning her body to face her small-minded friend. “It’s only obvious! You must be really stupid then!”
“Well, how could you tell?!”
Before Jean has a chance to interrupt Sasha, she begins to rant. He prefers to stay silent, clasping his hands together in his lap as he lowers his head, finding interest in the marbled tiles of the floor his feet rest on. 
The words that slip past Sasha’s lips reach his ear and out the other. 
It’s easy to tell, Connie. Have you noticed the way he looks at her? Can’t you see the love in his eyes? The way he will actually go out of his way to help her with anything? Here you guys are, two close friends, I thought you would have known about his crush. I’m surprised you didn’t catch on every time he ditched plans with us to go hang out with her. He’s whipped, and you’re too stupid to know it. 
His cheeks turn a shade of pink as his eyes squeeze shut, her words replaying in his head like a broken record player. Each sentence is like a knife stabbing away at his brain, causing the slightest ache to form in his frontal region. 
She’s right. Anything she just said five minutes ago, is completely and utterly correct. 
He can still hear her talking about it to Connie, but he can only focus on three sentences that stick to him like glue. 
Have you noticed the way he looks at her? Can’t you see the love in his eyes? The way he will actually go out of his way to help her with anything?
Memories of him helping you in any possible way come to mind. He can’t recall how many times he has entered class two minutes late because you had so much to carry. 
He stares at you like you’re the only thing worth looking at. It reminds him of those cliche animated movies with hearts in the character's eyes. He’s blinded by his love for you, that he never noticed any signs that you don’t feel the same way about him. His heart races miles per hour when you’re around. Sometimes he worries for himself that maybe, his heart might explode within him. 
“Anyway, lunch has about 20 minutes left...where is she?” Connie mutters, scratching the top of his head.
“I don’t know, but,” Sasha grows quiet, listening to the ongoing thunder from the outside. The lights flicker for a second, a couple of yelps emitting from other students, slightly afraid that the power might go off while school is in session. “The storm is almost here.”
“Y/N!” Connie suddenly yells, pointing in the direction of the door, your body jogging closer to the table. “Where have you been?!”
“Sorry!” you laugh, out of breath as you drop your things on the bench, taking a seat beside Jean. “I got caught up in a conversation with someone! I guess I lost track of time for a bit.”
“I messaged you like four times,” Jean mutters, glancing over at you before looking at the table, playing with the plastic straw that he used to drink out of.
“You did?” you ask, pulling your phone out from your pocket, lips puckering when indeed he did so. “I’m sorry, Jean. I didn’t even feel my phone vibrate.”
“Oh, whatever, who cares! Eat! Or I’ll eat your food!” Sasha yells, pointing a finger at you, a smile gracing her features. 
You laugh along with her as you converse with your peers, the conversation you had replaying in the back of your mind. Jean chooses not to intervene, instead would rather listen. 
The roaring thunder plays in the background, everyone paying no mind to it. What he doesn’t know is that the storm is much closer than Jean could have thought. 
☽✧ ✦ ✧☾
Listen close, it’s a no
The wind is a pounding on my back
And I found hope in a heart attack
Oh at last, it is past
Now I’ve got it, and you can’t have it
Another evening, another study session, another day of bottling up his feelings until he can no longer hold them inside.
The storm made its way to shore, raining pouring down and even some hail; not what anyone was expecting. 
Jean mindlessly flips through the pages of his English book, not even paying attention to the words as he checks how many pages are in chapter five. 
“This seems pointless,” he adds with a sigh, tossing the book on your bed along with his highlighter he uses to annotate with. “I should just find a summary online or something, I don’t want to read this.”
“And why is that?” you ask, looking up from your book, placing the hardcover against your thighs. “Is it boring to you?”
“No,” he mutters, rolling onto his back. “It’s stupid. This love crap.”
“Well...it is a romance story, the teacher told us when we got the book. But why do you think it’s dumb?”
“He writes letters for her, and in the end, she ends up rejecting him. I don’t think that’s romantic.”
“And? It’s beautiful on his part,” you close your eyes as you stretch your arms over your head, letting out a grunt. “It’s the fact that he wrote to her every day. It’s like he poured his soul into every word. The words he uses are..literally everything. It makes me swoon over him, and he’s not real. Makes me wonder if someone would do that for me.”
Jean’s head perks up at your words, one of his eyebrows raised in curiosity when he notices the bashful look on your face, eyes averted to the comforter on your bed. “Why do you have that dopey look on your face?”
“Huh?!” your eyes are blown open as you look over at him. “What are you talking about?!”
“I’m talking about that, idiot,” he points at your face, watching your eyes cross faintly to stare at his finger. “You’re acting about that guy in the book.”
The patter of the rain is the only noise that fills the void called silence in your room. His warm eyes don’t leave your face at all, waiting for your answer. You’ve been acting weird ever since you were late to lunch this past week. 
He watches your mouth open as if you’ll say something but close it right away, like you were concealing anything you had to hide.
“...well? Y/N? Are you there?”
“Yeah!” you cough into your elbow, running a hand down your face. “I-- you can’t tell anyone.”
“You know I never tell anyone what we talk about.”
You’re silent, a bit too quiet than usual. You fiddle with your fingers before blurting the words that have been eating away at you. 
Jean’s heart stops for a moment, eyes wide in shock when he processes it. His blood runs cold as he’s unable to move, frozen like a statue. The signals in his brain begged him to respond, but he couldn’t. He could hear the faintest sound of bells ringing in his ears; all noise surrounding him was now drowned out by his thoughts. 
One second.
Two seconds.
Three seconds. 
“You like someone?” he asks in a whisper, barely audible to your ears, but you heard as you nod shyly, biting down on your lip. “Well... who is it?”
“That’s...I can’t say it.”
“Why can’t you?”
“I’m afraid to say it out loud because I don’t want to ruin my friendship with him.”
Friendship? That could be anyone at this point.
I have to figure out who, he thinks as he draws random patterns into the sheets. “Well, tell me about him then. Is he in our grade?” he asks.
“Yeah, he is. He’s in four of my classes.”
Jean was in four of your classes. Math, English, Foreign Language, and Science. 
“That’s it?”
You huff, rolling your eyes. “Can I finish before you interrupt? Thank you.”
You pause momentarily before speaking again.
“He’s stubborn. I’ve noticed that his demeanor changes when it depends on who he is with. He seems like a hardass and looks like he doesn’t want to be bothered, but he seems like a total softie when he’s with people he loves. Not to mention he’s hot...and tall. He’s blunt and straight to the point. He doesn’t bullshit at all. He’s really sweet as well, to me. He always goes out of his way to make sure I’m okay and how my day was. He just..he seems to care for me, and I feel the same way about him.”
Jean takes every word you say into consideration. He’s stubborn, it seems that he doesn’t like to be around people he doesn’t know but loves those he does know. He knows he’s hot. Practically every day he looks at himself in the mirror and thinks about how good he looks.
He’s blunt and straight to the point. He doesn’t bullshit at all. He’s really sweet as well, to me. He always goes out of his way to make sure I’m okay and how my day was. He just..he really seems to care for me, and I feel the same way about him.
Jean can feel his doubt and worry turn into happiness and confidence as you keep on ranting, to which he’s not fully paying attention anymore. He knows it's him. It has always been him.
No one else.
Jean likes you.
And you like Jean, that’s all there is to it. 
“Do you want to tell him?”
“Yeah...” you trail off, scratching the nape of your neck. “I want to tell him on Friday after school. Do you think he’ll like me back?”
“I think he would. How could he not? He would be a total idiot to reject you.”
You hum at his reassurance, placing your hand on his, squeezing gently.
“Thanks, Jean.”
☽✧ ✦ ✧☾
Darling when I’m fast asleep
I've seen this person watching me
Saying, “Is it worth it? Is it worth it?”
Tell me, is it worth it?
Friday comes, and Jean can hardly wait for school to end. He’s not paying attention, his eyes constantly staring from the whiteboard in the front to the clock that tauntingly ticks slower than usual. 
He bites down on the pink end of his pencil in anticipation, tapping his foot repeatedly on the floor, the noise resonating through the classroom. 
Maybe I should just keep my eyes off the clock, he thinks, lowering his head back to the worksheet their teacher gave the class.
Econ class was a drag. He could care less about the differences in macro and microeconomics, the same with Communism and Capitalism. It’s just a bunch of words that don’t make sense to his brain. 
This was one of the classes he didn’t have with you, the last class. 
Instead of doing his worksheet (luckily, the teacher said it would be for homework if it wasn’t finished), Jean proceeded to think about ways he could tell you his feelings.
He could be old fashioned, tell you how much he adores you and how happy you make him feel when you’re around. How his heart can be heard from the outside of his body, how his hands got warm and clammy, maybe sweaty when he became too nervous.
Or
He could ask you out on a date. Take you somewhere, one of the places you’ve told him in the past that would make a great date for you. He smiles when he thinks about taking you downtown at night, looking at the soft lights that would brighten the streets; loving the sparkle in your orbs as you look around in awe. 
He hums, pleased with himself when he figures out what he’ll do, scratching the back of his ear. 
He wonders if you’re thinking the same thing.
-
You glance at your table partner, looking at his piece of paper before looking down at yours, displeased how his is able to look better than yours. You pick up your eraser, gently wiping the shadings away from your drawing, careful not to crease your paper.
“It’s not that hard you know, you just don’t know how to shade.”
“I know how to shade, Eren,” you reply with a huff, placing your eraser back down. “It’s just...this is a bit harder than usual.”
“All you have to do is follow the markings,” he presses the edge of his drawing pencil against the reference photo both of you are using, tracing the shape of it. “You could honestly just copy the photo, I doubt this woman would even notice.”
You chuckle at his choice of words, shifting in your seat to get comfortable. “I don’t think she would anyway. She just stares at it and calls it an A. I bet for our expressive project, she wouldn’t notice if we copied each other.”
He shakes his head with a smile, the loose strands of his hair swaying with his head movement. “No, she wouldn’t,” he rolls the sleeves of his hoodie to his elbows, grabbing his pencil again. “Then again, we are working on it with each other.”
“Speaking of that, what should we do?”
“Up to you, Y/N. I don’t mind. I’m just trying to pass this stupid class anyway.”
You relish in the silence between you as you gaze at him from your peripheral. You take notice how his hair frames his face effortlessly to the dip in his nose. It’s perfect how it forms to his cupid’s bow to his lips; not too big nor too small either. Just right. 
You clear your throat, scratching at the nape of your neck. “Why not do...stages of love?”
That catches his interest.
“Stages of love?” he asks, moving in his chair to face you, a hand propping his head up. “Elaborate?”
“Like you know...how we gain a crush on someone. We like how they make us feel, and soon we think about them some more. Maybe make little scenarios in our head. Then we gain the crush and want to be around them. You know what I mean, right?”
He’s silent, hues that represent the blue of rivers, boring into your own. At first, you think he hates your idea, but then the corner of his lips curls into his infamous grin. “Yeah, I like that. Did you have anything else in mind?”
“Maybe...rejection?”
“Rejection?” he repeats, a bit shocked at how romantic your words were, to something filled with sadness. “And why would you want to do rejection?”
“W-Well,” you stutter, unsure how you should put it. “Everyone always talks about the good in love but never the bad. And I think it could be done good, you know?”
He hums, scratching away at his chin before nodding. “Yeah, alright. That sounds oddly specific, but I like it. We can honestly get started soon, that way, we can finish faster and not worry about it.”
His smile throws you for a loop, your face heating up as you pick up your pencil, trying to distract yourself. 
“Say, Y/N?”
“Yes, Eren?” you reply a bit too quickly, cursing yourself out internally for sounding too desperate. 
“Can we talk?” his cheeks are a shade of pink, his eyes averted as he plays with one of the strings of his hood, reminding you how a child would distract themselves. The tips of his shoe nudge against yours, barely kicking gently.
“Aren’t we talking right now?”
“No, I mean after school.”
☽✧ ✦ ✧☾
And in my eyes, there is a tiny dancer
Watching over me, he’s singing, 
Jean storms out of his Econ class with a grin, hands gripping onto the straps of his backpack as he looks down one end of the hallway before going down the other direction. The art room was three classes down his. Usually, Jean will wait right there by the door for you since you take ages to finally leave the classroom. 
When Jean finally reaches the room, he sees that the doors are locked, and the lights inside are off.
Huh, that’s weird, you’re always one of the last to leave, nor are you ever this early. 
He stands there for a few more seconds, peering in through the small glass, and sees nothing before taking a step back and quickly continues to walk down the hall. His legs are quicker, going down the two flights of stairs. 
His eyes frantically search for the yellow shirt you wore, unable to find you anywhere. 
“Sasha!” he calls out once he reaches the end of the stairs, running towards the girl and their friend, who was at the lockers, pulling things she needed to take home for the weekend. 
The brunette looks over her shoulder, stopping her conversation with Connie as she shuts her locker. “Yeah, Jean?”
He pants, leaning on his knees before letting out a deep breath and standing straight up. “Have you seen Y/N?”
She ponders for a while before shaking her head, looking over at Connie, who shakes his head, shrugging. “We haven’t seen her since Art class.”
“You didn’t see where she went at all?”
The events before class ending play in her mind before she gasps, snapping her fingers, pointing up at Jean. “Yeah, I know where she went!”
“...are you going to tell me, or am I going to have to guess?!”
She mocks him for a second before pulling her phone out. “I could have seen her leave with Eren. I think they went to the bench in the back. You know the one I’m talking about?”
He’s taken aback for a moment before shaking his head, retaining the information. “Alright, thanks.”
Why would you even be with Eren right now? You never meet with him after-
“Are we still on for this weekend?!” Connie yells when Jean is making his way down the corridor.
“Yeah, we are!” Jean's voice travels through the air, reaching both of his friends, hands clammy as they’re shoved in the front pocket of his pants. 
The walk to the back courtyard was tiresome. His feet seemed to drag behind him, an aching feeling forming in his gut. Thoughts pounded against his skull repeatedly, trying to force him to stop. He wants to stop, but he has to go.
He has to tell you he loves you. 
He can’t help but smile when you describe the boy you like this week. In his mind and most certainly his heart, he was the king of the world sitting on his high horse as he screamed in victory, letting the whole world know that the person he likes, feels the same way about him. 
The fresh air from the outside meets his nostrils as he deeply inhales, allowing it to enter his body before exiting. The sun is the first thing he meets with as he exits the building, bringing a hand up to shield his eyes away from the harsh light. He mutters something under his breath as he looks around for a second. 
“She’s a,
She’s a lady and I’m just a boy”
His honey orbs finally stop on a bench where you and Eren are seated, that’s not too far away, but his body is hidden from your view. He lets out a sigh of relief, leaves crunching underneath his feet as he walks, not taking long strides, rather walking slow to rethink what he’ll say.
“Y/N, I’ve liked you for a long...no,” he mutters, stopping in his tracks as he looks down at the green grass and leaves, kicking away at them. “I’ve loved- no, that sounds a bit aggressive, goddammit,” he groans, tugging at the roots of his hairs. “Why is this so fucking hard?!” he growls underneath his breath, leaning against the brick wall. 
He never was anything else but honest with you. How could he say it?
What if this ruins your relationship?
...what if you liked Eren?
His breath hitches in his throat when realization dawns on him. His lips part, a soft exhale releasing from within him. His fingers curl around nothing, as if he was holding the air’s hand. The tips of his fingers shake, his whole body stiffening as he stares hard at nothing. 
How could he be so stupid?
It all made sense now. How you stayed behind during lunch that one time without saying anything; in the back of his mind that day, he knew that someone had to be a boy, maybe a girl. Even then, you would always let him know. 
Jean should have known from the beginning that you only saw him as a brother. 
His chest aches as his vision goes blurry, biting down on the inside of his lip to the point where he can taste the bitter metallic on his tongue. He squeezes his eyes shut before opening, wishing he hadn’t at that moment. 
He’s singing
“She’s a, she’s a lady and I am just a line without a hook.”
His heart breaks, stomach-dropping when he sees Eren’s hand brings you closer to his body, lips pressed up against yours; your hand placed on his cheek, cradling his face. Even from where he stands, he can sense the urgency in the kiss, how your bodies move together as one, how your fingers grip onto him like he’ll leave any moment. 
His lower lip quivers for a second, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand, clearing his throat. Jean cranes his neck upward, looking at the sky, muttering the words, “Why him?” over and over like a mantra, no other words coming to mind. 
When he closes his eyes, all he can see is you. Not Eren, just you. Those moments where you laugh, cry, or stay silent, those are the moments that flash in his head.
Did he do something to you? Was it something he said?
Did you ever like him at all?
“It’s pointless,” he whispers, pushing himself off the brick wall, immediately making a beeline for the doors. He swallows harshly, legs moving faster than ever, wanting to get out of this hell hole called reality. 
Like every day, you’ll walk down the same pavement you’ve been walking on for years.
Only this time, he’s walking alone. 
Oh, and if I could take it all back
I swear that I would pull you from the tide. 
☽✧ ✦ ✧☾
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stressy-enby · 3 years
Text
Some Scars aren’t Physical: PART 1
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Iida x GN! Reader
TRIGGER WARNINGS: Past abusive relationship (gaslighting, possessiveness, yelling), slight panic attack, swearing
Summery: (Y/N) had a terrible boyfriend in middle school. He was possessive, manipulative, and just plain awful. Since breaking up with Him, (Y/N)’s had pretty bad relationship anxiety. It’s so bad, that it makes them afraid to pursue their new crush: the kind, earnest class rep, Tenya Iida.
Link to Part 2 
Masterlist
. . .
It only takes one bad experience to ruin something forever.
Take dating, for instance.
You hadn’t had many friends in middle school. You had Izuku, your friend since elementary school, and the people who sat next to you in class who occasionally talked to you. That was about it, but it never mattered. You were still happy.
Then there was Him.
He had been kind. Flattering. He laughed at your jokes and told you His own. You had been happier than you had ever been when you started dating. You spent long nights on the phone with Him, trying to smother your giddy laughter so not to wake the rest of your house. Then you spent hours recounting every moment of the conversation to Izuku, who always rolled his eyes playfully, remarking “As long as you’re happy, (Y/N).”
Then He changed.
It was a gradual shift. You didn’t even realize that something wasn’t right until a month or so into the relationship. It started with Izuku, funnily enough. He didn’t like how close you were with him. You had tried to calmly explain to Him that you were just friends, and had been friends for several years. He wouldn’t have it, though. He never outright asked you to stop spending time with Izuku, but He made it very clear that He didn’t approve of your friendship. 
You didn’t want Him to be angry with you. You didn’t cut Izuku out completely, you couldn’t bear to. You did start to avoid him, though.
It didn’t end with Izuku, though. Next it was the classmates you occasionally hung out with. Next it was anyone He didn’t personally know. Next it was anyone if He wasn’t there.
Then there were the arguments. You were frustrated. You told Him that he couldn’t control you like this. But you couldn’t bring yourself to leave Him. Not when His counterarguments where oh so persuasive.
“Listen, these people don’t really care about you. They’re just going to hurt you. I just want to keep you safe. You trust me, right?”
The hurt look on His face was enough for you to assure Him that yes, of course you trusted Him. You weren’t sure how honest you were being, though.
Four months.
It took four months of loneliness, and anxiety for you to finally end it. It took four months of Izuku pleading with you to leave Him before you actually did it. 
He wouldn’t go down without a fight, unfortunately. He went down in the end, albeit kicking and screaming. He had raised his voice at our before, but never like this. He had never screamed directly in your face. You’d never cried in front of Him before. You’d been good at hiding it, but the all the pent up anxiety and frustrations you were feeling spilt out when He shrieked at you like that.
He’d been suspended for two weeks. They were over all too fast.
He hardly talked to you when He got back, but you always felt His eyes. They seemed to follow you wherever you went.
Izuku stuck to you like glue. He was a nervous kid, and he never said anything directly to Him, but he was always there, offering you his silent support.
“Do you think you’ll want to date anyone else?” Izuku asked one day.
“No one from our class,” You rolled your eyes, surveying the middle school classroom.
“What about when we get to high school?” 
“I don’t know,” You answered after a moment. “I’d like to be in a good relationship, but…”
Izuku frowned. “But?”
You averted your eyes, feeling His gaze burning a hole in the back of your head. “I thought He seemed good at first. Look how well that went.”
. . . 
High school felt like heaven. It might’ve been grueling, and sure, villains showed up every other week, but He wasn’t there. Izuku was, though, plus you both managed to make a few other friends. 
Iida was one such friend. The first thing you had noticed about him was that he was loud. You had never liked loud people, especially after what had happened with Him, but Iida was never loud to you directly. He was just loud in general.
A few weeks into your friendship with him, and you realized that he was incredibly earnest. He was dependable, and seemed to be one of the kindest, if also intense people you’d ever met.
He was also handsome.
You spent lunch periods staring at Iida’s large hands, wondering what they’d feel like in your own. You laid awake at night, hugging your pillow and pretending it was him. 
One night, as you pictured him holding you, his gentle arms suddenly became tight and constrictive. Suddenly, it wasn’t Iida.
It was Him.
Your breathing became sporadic you threw your pillow onto the floor. You folded in on yourself, rubbing your arms to try to rid yourself of His lingering touch.
“I can’t,” You whimpered. “I can’t,”
You wanted to be with Iida, you really did. But He was still poisoning your mind.
. . .
“(L/N), are you doing anything this weekend?” 
You hummed noncommittally at Iida, who was standing at your desk, waiting for you to pack up to go home.
“I don’t think so.” You shrugged. “What about you?”
“Well, a cafe recently opened near my home, I’m thinking of checking it out.” He said casually, eyes darting away. “Perhaps you’d like to come with me?”
“Oh!” You exclaimed, looking up at the boy. “Uh, yeah! That sounds fun. It’d be nice to spend some time with you outside of school.”
“Yes, I-I thought the same thing.” Iida readjusted his glasses, a pink dusting forming on his cheeks. “Is Saturday alright with you?”
About twenty minutes later, when you and Izuku were walking home from the train station, he asked if you wanted to do anything over the weekend.
“On Sunday, maybe.” You kicked an acorn along the sidewalk. “Iida and I are going out on Saturday.”
“Woah, really? Like on a date?”
“I- I don’t- what?” You froze. You replayed the conversation with Iida in your head. “Is it a date? Shit. I can’t go on a date.”
“Why not?” Izuku furrowed his brows in concern. “Iida’s really nice, I think you’d be happy with him. You’d have a good time.”
“Yeah, well we thought I’d be happy with Him too,”
Izuku flinched, understanding flashing in his eyes. “Okay. (Y/N), Iida is lightyears better than Him. Iida’s a super serious guy, but that makes him transparent. If he had ulterior motives, or even if he just seemed like he’d be a dick, you’d know it. Iida isn’t Him. At least go out with him this one time.”
“But I-”
“It’s one date, not marriage.” Izuku reasoned, placing a hand on your shoulder. “There are no obligations. Go out with him. If it goes well, then great! You can do it again, or, don’t. If it goes poorly, then end it there. You don’t have to tie yourself to Iida just because he’s showing interest in you.”
You raised a pointed eyebrow. “What if I’m not interested in him?”
“(Y/N).” Izuku deadpanned. “You and I both know that you are.”
You snickered a little, the sound coming out breathy and broken. “Ok. One date. We’ll see where it goes from there.”
. . .
Izuku knew you and Iida had it bad for each other. The staring longingly when the other wasn’t looking, the flustered laughing, all the goddamn blushing, there was a lot. It was torture watching you both dance around each other, but he knew it wasn’t easy for you. He had left his mark on you, even if it wasn’t a physical one. 
Izuku wasn’t exactly thrilled to push you right back into dating when you obviously were uncomfortable, despite knowing that Iida could be a healing presence in your life if you let him. 
So you were going on a date with him. 
“It’s one date, not marriage.” He had said, trying to convince himself as well as you. “There are no obligations.”
Izuku knew Iida. He trusted him with his life, he just wasn’t sure if he trusted him with you. You, the closest thing to a sibling Izuku had ever had. You, who had stayed his friend even after you had manifested your quirk and he’d been left quirkless. You, who stayed by his side and defended him against Kacchan and his other middle school bullies. 
You, who had been hurt before by someone you had liked.
Izuku groaned, flopping onto his bed. “Iida isn’t Him. Iida isn’t Him. He’s not going to hurt (Y/N). They’re going to be fine.”
It still didn’t stop him from constantly checking his phone, to see if you’d messaged him. Today was your date. He check the time again. 3:21. You should be home by now, or at least on the way. He’d told you to text him when you were home and tell him all about the date, but you might’ve forgotten. Maybe he should text your parents?
No. He was your best friend, not your father. He’d wait to see if you contacted him. If you didn’t, no big deal. He’d see you on Monday at school. Izuku very deliberately placed his phone face down on his bedside table. Deciding to go for a jog to get his mind off it, he began to change into his workout clothes.
Not two minutes later, his phone buzzed. Halfway into his gym shorts, Izuku scrambled back to the table, tripping over his own feet and hitting his head squarely on the bed frame. 
“Shit!” He hissed, rubbing his forehead.
“Izuku?” His mother called. “Is everything all right in there?”
“Yeah, I just tripped. I’m okay.” He replied, feeling around for his phone with the hand not cradling his head. Much to Izuku’s disappointment, the text wasn’t from you.
Much to his surprise though, it was from Iida.
Iida: Is (L/N) afraid of me?
“Uh oh,” He murmured, fingers already flying across the keypad.
Izuku: wdym? Did something happen during your date?
Iida: Kind of? It went well, but (L/N) seemed really nervous.
Izuku: And you weren’t? Lol, it’s your first date
Iida: Well, yes of course I was nervous. (L/N) seems more nervous then would be ordinary in that situation, though.
Izuku: What exactly did they do?
Iida: They were very overly jittery. They looked apprehensive and guilty whenever we talked. At one point I put my hand on their arm and they flinched. 
“Oh shit,” Izuku whispered. Iida wasn’t done, though.
Iida: The night ended well enough, I suppose. They seemed to have a good time, it just looked like they were too frightened to enjoy it to the full extent, though.
Izuku: You didn’t do anything weird, did you?
Iida: Weird how? All I did was talk to them. I offered to pay for their food, but they declined. I touched their arm, but once they flinched away I didn’t try again. We walked back to the train station together, and I offered to accompany them home, but they shot me down again.
Izuku sighed, rubbing his throbbing temples. It was a delicate situation. It wasn’t really Izuku’s place to tell Iida your business. So how was he going to tell Iida that you had relationship trauma without actually telling him?
Izuku: Ok, I don’t think you did anything wrong. (Y/N) gets nervous at the idea of dating, but I promise it’s not you. They’ve had bad experiences with dating, but they seem to really like you and want to try again.
Izuku: (Y/N)’s story isn’t mine to tell. If they feel comfortable giving you all the details, then they will. All you need to know for now is that their anxiety isn’t your fault. It also doesn’t mean that they don’t like you because I don’t think I’ve ever seen them as happy with someone as they are with you  
Iida: I see. Their behavior makes a little more sense now. Thank you for telling me, Midoriya. I’d like to have a relationship with them, so on Monday I’ll talk to them and see if there’s anything I can do or stop doing to make them more comfortable. I don’t think I’ve ever been happier than I am when I’m with them either, in all honesty. I would hate to loose them over a misunderstanding.
Izuku chuckled, smiling warmly at his device. “What was I ever worried about?”
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ve1vetyoongi · 4 years
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wherever you will go | jjk
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Pairing: Jungkook x female reader
Genre: actor!oc, director!jungkook, smut, angst, humour.
Word count: 21k
Summary:  Not much happens when you grow up by the coast. Tourists come and go, the theatre where you work shows the same shows over and over and there’s always sand and salt in the air. Your dreams of making it big in the city are exactly that: dreams. When your hopes of becoming an actress are shattered into a million pieces, you find yourself getting drawn to a captivating up-and-coming movie director by the name of Jeon Jungkook. With his bright eyes and charming smile, he seems determined to glue your pieces back together -- even if it means leaving Ocean City behind for good.
Warnings: themes of loss/grief, mentions of death of a parent, dom!jungkook, dom/sub themes, spanking, squirting, unprotected sex, oral sex (f recieving).
Rating: Mature.
A/N: Hello loves! HAPPY JK DAY!! This fic is a lil celebration of our golden boy Jungkook so I hope you enjoy!! This whole fic is sickeningly fluffy and reads like a pretentious YA novel but ya girl wrote this while she was stuck in quarantine a few weeks ago and I debated not posting this bc I lowkey love it lowkey hate it so pleasedonthateme if it’s bad LOL. Also -- just incase you haven’t read the warnings already there is a running theme that deals with the loss of a parent (a topic very close to my heart, hence why this piece was especially healing to write.) so reader discretion is advised if that is triggering to you in any way shape or form!!!! P.P.S Largely unedited so pls bare with any mistakes!
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Prelude.
You're late for your work shift, you note, as you catch sight of your watch face glaring up at you menacingly from the arm clutching the handle bars of your bike. As if your mood couldn't get any more miserable -- the dreary morning drizzle that falls from the sky and drips icily down the back of your nape was bad enough.
Goddamn, you groan to yourself as you will your feet to pedal ever faster. Now my hair is gonna be frizzy.
It's a Saturday and the theatre where you work always opens earlier at the weekends. You promised you'd be on time today, but yet here you are, speeding down the worn in sandy sidewalks of your seaside town a whole block away when you should've been opening up half an hour ago.
It's a habit of yours, being late. And as hard as you try, you just can't change a habit. But it can't be helped you suppose. Continuity is all you've ever known. That's the thing about living in a tiny seaside town. Things never change.
The view from your bedroom window has been the same for as long as you can remember — Ocean City — Aka, block after block of rainbow coloured houses with flaky paint leading up to the harbour where boats bob nonchalantly and fishermen reel in their catches beneath the gull filled sky. Beyond it the beach; greyish rolling waves and upturned pebbles nestled atop of hard sand in the winter and clear water and brightly coloured beach towels and brave surfers in the summer.
Nobody ever leaves, and the tourists that arrive in summer never stay. Life becomes a predictable practice, just each day lived out to the next in an endless cycle of never ending continuity. It's suffocating and endless and sometimes you feel like you're just a pawn on a giant chess board, destined to move one agonising square forward at a time, never diagonally. It's hard to change directions when you've been taught to stick to what you know.
You didn't always live here, in this town of continuity. You lived in the big city for a while, where no day was the same as another. But after your mother died you and your older brother were shipped off to live with your dad, who wouldn't know the definition of adapting if it hit him square in the face. He's always been the same square shouldered, balding dude in his forties who never wanted kids and never quite got over losing your mother to the big buck actor she ran off with when you were two.
So that's how you ended up here. Late for work at your job in the country's most prized vacation spot. And your boring reality.
You roll past the beach huts on the shoreline that alternate between vibrant pink and muted blue, barely paying attention to the boardwalk with its little boat house that stretches out into the horizon like a crooked finger. When it gets dark, you can spot the pier carnival lights flashing in the distance from here as they dance across the reflection of the pale white moon and play among the waves.
Even now, the yellow lights of the ornate street lamps that line the water's front shine like tiger's eyes against the sky just like they always have when you turn down the familiar route that takes you past the winding lanes of trinket shops and the happy hour bars and the carnival that feels strangely empty at such an early hour, not a single rollercoaster ride in operation.
Before long you're skidding to a stop outside of the The Crestmont, the old theatre where you work. It's everything you'd expect from a vintage cinema; pink and blue neon lights and a gold trimmed ticket booth out front with a three-sided marquee that extends from the front of the building like a brightly lit airport runway. You hurry beneath it, grateful for the protection it provides from the rain that has started to come down in lashes now, before heading over to the rack around the back of the building where you can chain your bike.
The Crestmont used to be somewhat of a hotspot back in the day or so your told, but these days it only shows cartoons at a discounted price for the neighbourhood kids and the occasional local production of some worn out musical everyone has seen a hundred times before. It's lost all it's magic, everyone says. But you disagree; you probably spend more time here than anyone, and there's magic in every inch of this place.
From the red velvet curtains to the grand chandelier, The Crestmont is one of a kind. Sometimes you disappear into the theatre by yourself for a while unbeknownst to your manager. You can almost taste the laughter and the tears and the love that has been spilled and shared unapologetically amongst these seats. Pure magic.
Your mom left a piece of herself here, too. If you close your eyes you can hear her laughter spilling out into the theatre, or her lilting singing voice filling every nook and cranny like a haunting siren. She was the Crestmont's star. Ocean City's sweetheart.
There's a wall of fame in the lobby. It's covered in portraits crested with gold frames, all filled with pictures of the Crestmont's greatest performers. You've spent hours there — (turns out it's the perfect hiding spot from your manager) — fingers tracing the plaques beneath each one, all inscribed with names that townsfolk whisper with dreamy looks in their eyes. Some are black and white, some colour, but all of them depict pretty faces with beaming smiles that never seem to fade.
Not even your mom's. Her smile is pearly and bright, right above the plaque with her birthdate. And her death date.
And right there at the end, an empty frame. Your frame. You can feel it. You already know how you'll pose for your picture. Hair over one shoulder, hand on hip, smile so convincing that it'll be like every happiness in your heart is written right across your forehead proudly, and you won't have to dull it any longer.
You finish hooking a chain around the handlebars of your bike, catching sight of your reflection in the darkened windows. Staring back at you is a girl dressed in a maroon v-neck with a preppy dicky bow tied around her collar. You frown. The white shirt itches and the high waisted pants make your crotch look weird but the uniform is compulsory. The only thing uglier is the sour expression on your face, which you try to smooth out with your thumb, experimenting with plastering a sickly smile to your face instead. It might be convincing if your lips didn't strain and your eyes weren't so prone to rolling without your permission.
You need to learn to hide your emotions, your father said. You have your feelings written across your face. Customers don't like that.
It's true; customer's didn't usually like you, your unforgiving face or when you spilled cola down their blouse or spat in their popcorn. One more complaint and you were on the path to being fired once and for all, and although in some ways you would be glad to say goodbye to the stupid slushie machine that always gets stuck and the ungrateful customers and the goddamn uniform, you can't loose this job.
Not when it's your ticket to making it big. Then customers will point to your picture as they pass and clutch their chest with a snide superiority, Oh! Can you believe she served me a cola once? I always knew she was gonna make it! instead of Would it kill you to smile a little, honey?
So you swallow a sigh and make your smile as convincing as possible and march inside of the ornate theatre doors of The Crestmont, hoping that today may be the day where things finally change for once.
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Where it begins
"I'm going to work!" You call as you you pull a baseball cap down over your hair to cover it's unbrushed wildness. "I won't be back for a while so don't wait up, okay Taehyung?"
You pause with your hand on the door, listening carefully for a response; the small house you live in pulsates with the bass of some indie rock album your brother and his friends are obsessed with at the moment, and your eyes roll when you peer up the staircase and find Taehyung's bedroom door firmly closed like always.
With a shake of your head you scribble out a message on a sticky note — GONE 2 WORK. — and leave it for him to read when he eventually emerges from his man cave in search of sustenance and finds you gone.
You brush away the funny ache that nestles in your stomach. This is nothing new. You're used to not being heard. Your dad is always gone for trips you suspect involve more play than work, and your older brother pretends he's not broken by hanging around with the neighbourhood cool kids and barraging himself in his room for days on end. Despite living under one roof it feels as though you're miles apart, an invisible barrier separating you indefinitely.
You weren't always like this; distant, always stepping on eggshells around each other. You were a family once. A happy one. But since the accident there's been an absence in this house, and nothing has been the same since.
Still, you know that beneath Taehyung's standoffish persona, he's still your big brother. He worries about you. So you tack the note to the fridge and make your way outside.
The lawn is already brown despite it only being late May, and summer is shaping up to be hot and sticky, though you live two blocks away from the beach so the coolness of the ocean still thankfully pervades against your perspiring skin, the gulls already calling you with their high pitched squaks from down at the shoreline.
You've barely made it to the end of the drive before there's the sound of knuckles rapping against glass. You look up and your heart jumps into your mouth. Staring back at you is a pair of dark eyes from behind the upstairs windowpane. Even from this distance you can see how they shine, deep and dark like a cup of black coffee, and you'd recognise the annoyingly cute smirk that matches them anywhere.
Jungkook. Jeon Jungkook. Taehyung's best friend, and, unfortunately, your crush for as long as you knew what the word love meant.
"Hey, Y/N!" Your heart sinks when the window slides open and a messy head of brown hair sticks out through the gap and points at you with a pout. "You're leaving already? Without me?"
Oh; another thing about Jeon Jungkook. He's also your co-worker, which means you spend 16 hours a week in his company, much to the glee of your heart and the dismay of your conscience.
You weren't exactly surprised when you turned up to the Crestmont theatre for your first shift and were left in the capable hands of none other than Jungkook to teach you the ins and the outs of the popcorn machine and the ticket booth.
For as long as you've known him he's been somewhat of a film buff. He practically grew up holding a camera. You always used watch him and your brother making home movies in the backyard, fit with ketchup sachets for blood and endless costumes from your mom's closet. And the one time you stayed at his house when your dad went away for a while after the accident, you saw all the classic movie posters on his bedroom wall; Casablanca, Singing in the Rain, Jaws. So it made total sense for Jungkook to be at the Crestmont. In fact, you couldn't imagine him anywhere else.
That day you were mostly just surprised that he knew who you were at all. While you had spent years watching him from your bedroom window while he kicked a ball around with Taehyung or avoiding his eyes at the table when he stayed for dinner, he had never so much as glanced in your direction.
Deep down you think the reason he was so quick to take you under his wing is because he knew first hand how hard the accident hit your family. You suppose he feels he owes it to Taehyung to keep you in high spirits.
Although if you weren't you and he wasn't him, you'd swear Jungkook's attentions had become almost flirtatious as of late. He always goes the extra mile to spend time with you, and you even though you know it'll end up with you getting hurt you can't bring yourself to stop him.
You see, Jungkook has a gift for subtle charm. Like how he always sneaks you sodas out back on your lunch break, never forgetting the extra syrup — tooth rottingly sweet just how you like it — slipping one of his own dollars into the cash register to avoid a telling off from your manager. Or how he insists on helping you clean up after the theatre is empty, showing you the best secret places like down the back off seats to find misplaced trinkets and the creaky floorboard where your manager hides his cigarettes. How he insists on walking you home after the evening shift, even if he says he's going this way to see Taehyung anyway.
You've spent countless hours pondering over whether his sweet talking words mean as much to him as they do to you. And as much as you know it's unlikely for someone like Jeon Jungkook to ever have feelings for you, you can't help the way your heart speeds up every time he shoots you one of his signature bunny smiles that light up his whole face like he's happiness personified. And you can't bring yourself to hate him for it.
"I did call," you respond matter of factly, finally sucking in a breath of courage to turn around and squint up at him through the afternoon sun with a shrug. "But that trash you're listening too was too loud for you guys to hear me."
Jungkook's eyes widen as he fumbles around beneath the windowsill and pops up again holding up a shiny vinyl record sleeve. You recognise it instantly; it's from his favourite film — Submarine. He hardly ever shuts up about it.
"This is not trash. This is, like, the best movie soundtrack ever made!" He shakes his head as he takes the needle off of Taehyung's vintage record player, music ceasing with a scratch, and slips it into the sleeve with a grin. "Good thing I have it downloaded so we can listen to it on the way to work, hm?"
You roll your eyes and tap your foot impatiently, and at that, Taehyung appears behind him.
"You're leaving already?" He frowns, words directed at Jungkook even as he glances through narrowed eyes at you stood awkwardly on the front lawn.
"Yup. My shift starts in twenty." Jungkook shrugs, disappearing into the room for a second before he emerges again with a backpack slung over his shoulder. "Sorry dude. I can come back afterwards though, if you want?"
Taehyung purses his lips. Even from here you can see the stress lines embedded in his forehead that make him look older than his humble age of nineteen, somehow weak unlike how you always saw him as a kid. Big and strong; untouchable; your brother.
His blunt eyes never quite meet Jungkook's as he shakes his head softly. "'S good. I was gonna try and sleep, anyway, before the sun goes down. Didn't get much shut eye last night. Not with the..."
Nightmares. Taehyung trails off, but you know that's what he's alluding to. The nightmares that turn your big strong brother into a sniffling mess in the dead of night, kicking around mercilessly until you sneak into his bed and whisper to him until he slips into slumber again. Not that you ever acknowledge it in the morning over your bowls of cereal and vacant good morning's.
"Okay." Jungkook's face momentarily falls; a rare occurrence from the boy who seems to be perpetually cheerful. He pats Taehyung on the shoulder gently. "Take care of yourself, okay man?"
Taehyung just nods, letting out a yawn as he rolls into a stretch. "See ya tomorrow."
You're jolted from your thoughts when Jungkook throws his left leg out of the window, then the other, arms bulging in just the right way where they poke out of the sleeves of his plain white tee as he climbs down the drainpipe and lands with a thump on the soles of his high top sneakers.
"Hey kiddo." He grins as he wipes the palms of his hands on the thighs of his ripped jeans, before messing up your hair despite your groan of protest.
"Don't call me that. You're only a year older than me."
You're startled when you meet the pair of warm eyes that glint golden brown in the summer evening light, chest contracting as you look away and break into a fast walk towards the street.
"And you know you can just use the front door right?"
You hear him snort behind you, neglecting to use the front gate and instead launching over the fence so he lands directly in front of you on the sidewalk.
"How am I supposed to impress my best friends little sister if I can't show off my guns?" He flexes his arm, but you just brush past him with a roll of your eyes.
"You're an idiot."
You hear the clunk of his bike chain unhooking from the gate, before a set of wheels pedal up on the sidewalk beside you. "Hey! Where are you going?"
"Uh, to work?" You offer bluntly, squinting at him through the sun. "You should be too, we start in fifteen minutes."
"I mean why are you walking? What happened to your bike?"
You roll your eyes. "Some tourist kids slashed the wheels at the beach."
"Shit. Really?" Jungkook tuts, but you don't miss the glint in his eye as he nods towards the pegs on the back of his bike that were made for carrying a passenger."Then I guess it's my lucky day. Hop on, we can ride together."
You come to a standstill, arms crossed tightly. "I'd rather walk."
"Oh come on!" He wiggles his eyebrows. "It'll take double the time if we go on foot, and I recall it being you who got a final late warning last week."
"If we go on foot?" You laugh breathily, determined to stand your ground. "Just go on ahead, I'm good here."
"Well, I'm not exactly going to leave you here alone on the side of the road now am I? So I'll be forced to walk with you. And I'm older than you remember? Look, I'm already out of breath! My legs aren't what they used to be, y'know."
"Fine!" With a pout you take the helmet resting in his front basket and hook it underneath your chin, biting your lip to stop a smile from gracing your lips at the excitement that lights up Jungkook's features. "But only because I want you to shut up."
"Your wish is my command." He says with a pat to your head. "Hold on tight, okay?"
And as you wrap your arms around his waist, you're sure his ears heat up a deep shade of red, even it could just be the evening light playing tricks on you.
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The theatre at the Crestmont feels eerily quiet when its empty.
You know that because even though your shift was supposed to end at 5, you offered to stick around to help clean up after today's performance. Phantom of the Opera.
"Jesus," You groan as you pick up another sticky soda cup that someone had kindly spilled all over the ground for you to clean up, dropping the offender into a black trash bag. "Doesn't anyone around here know how to use a trash can?"
You fall into one of the theatre seats with a sigh and run your fingers over the scarlet velvet, worn yet plush, the texture soothing you instantly. You tilt your head back and let the silence engulf you. No orchestra, no musical numbers, no stage crew shouting directions. No whirring cotton candy machine. Just you and the stage.
From here you can see every detail on the high ceiling littered with renaissance-style paintings of mermaids and babies armed with heart shaped bow and arrows. Your mom was an actress. When you were a kid you used to spent hours staring at them while she rehearsed. You were convinced they came alive once the theatre closed up for the night, their cheeky smiles evidence of a secret only you knew.
A trail of rainbows is cast by the grand chandelier hung in the center, and it draws your attention all the way down the aisles and up to the stage.
The Crestmont is only small, fitting perhaps 200 people at most. It's hardly Broadway. But the fire in your chest ignites as you glance side to side before sidling up the creaking wooden steps that wind up to the Crestmont's center stage. Your favourite part of the whole theatre.
It's not the first time you've done this. You often like to come up here after everyone has gone home, even though you technically aren't supposed to. There's a certain magic about being alone up here as you collect the lone roses that were thrown on stage by tonight's audience. Breathing in the musty smell of butter popcorn that lingers on the velvet curtains, feel the warmth of the bright stage lights glazing your skin. Something about it feels like home.
The first time you ever saw the Crestmont stage was on tv, watching a grainy camera shakily capture your mom in the very same spot you find yourself right now.
Your mom used to have a cardboard box filled with her old audition tapes. Everything from Hamlet to A Streetcar Named Desire, she'd starred in it, and you spent hours together in front of the television set trying to memorise the way she spoke your favourite lines and listening to her lilting voice recite backstage anecdotes about her rendezvous with foreign directors who dined on her in Paris or underground parties with celebrities you had never even heard of as she stroked your hair.
It wasn't until you got a little older that you realised that, just like you, your mom was a dreamer. Sure, she'd visited a couple different states and starred in some makeup commercials once, and that was enough to make her a celebrity in a town as small as this.
But really? She was just a small town actress with dreams larger than herself and way larger than the Crestmont where she made her name. And suddenly the gaps in time where she would disappear for weeks — sometimes months — on end no longer made sense to you. If she wasn't drinking cocktails with the prince of Monaco or clubbing in London, then where was she?
"Down town with those no good roadies," Taehyung told you once. "They made all these empty promises. Told her she'd make it big if she just did what they said. But look how that turned out."
That was the day you realised your mom was a better actress than you ever knew.
She always thought that her dreams would come true. She believed it so hard that you believed it too, naively. But who knows? Maybe they would have if she didn't get into an accident on her way to New York for her big break.
It's easy to imagine how your mom felt up here. She always looked so alive and free in those VHS tapes as she danced effortlessly across the stage with an ethereal weightlessness, the theatre silent except for the melodic sweetness of her monologues that drew tears to the eyes of those who listened eagerly.
If you close your eyes you can hear the roar of the crowd, hands clapping furiously. The orchestra tuning their brass in the pit, bows melodic against strings. Flowers landing at your feet. The deep breath of satisfaction as you take your final bow and the curtain closes.
Just like that you're moving across the stage, reciting the lines you know so well...
"You're gonna be a star like me some day," A voice whispers against your ear, soft and gentle. A memory. Your mom. "Just like me."
And just like that, she's there. In the audience, clapping. For you. And you feel invincible.
The sound of applause breaks you out of your trance. Real applause. You find yourself stood center stage, broom in hand, staring out at row after row of empty seats that gape with the same emptiness that was here when you arrived.
Except one of the velvet lined seats is filled now. Right at the front.
"Encore!" Jungkook whistles, the harsh thwacks of his palms clapping together clanging inside your ears. "Do it again! That was amazing!"
Your chest seizes painfully, a sudden bout of panic turning your blood cold. You feel the colour leave your face. How long has he been here? How long has he been watching?
Jungkook is watching you attentively, eyes soft at the edges with wonder. It makes bile rise in your throat. You can't be up here. Not when there's a pair of eyes looking at you, judging.
"I..." You begin, but the words get caught in your throat.
"I can't do this."
The way Jungkook's eyes widen and he lurches forward to catch you is the last thing you see before your vision goes black.
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The boardwalk is strangely quiet for a summer evening. It's happy hour so you suppose most vacationers are already in the bars in their I LOVE OCEAN CITY T-shirts drinking cocktails or whatever. Not that you're complaining.
The smell of hotdogs and vinegar from the vans that line the strip still fill the air, snatches of conversations from children begging their parents to let them go on the waltzer one last time barely audible above the tinkling bells of the carousel. The ride operators drink soda's as they fan themselves with rolled up newspapers, grateful for the gentle hubbub on such a sticky evening, and then there's you, caught up in the middle of it all.
The wooden boards of the pier are warm against he backs of your thighs. You're sat with your legs dangling through the peeling guard rail that lines the strip. It was painted pastel blue at some point but years of sea spray and grubby hands made it fade to a sickly green tinge that matches the ocean.
Speaking of, the ocean would usually be directly below your feet, murky and wild, but today the tide has receded right back to reveal a large strip of sand. The stands suspending the pier rest on top of it so that you could walk right under and around them if you wanted to. You and Taehyung used to do that all the time when you were kids. Searching for barnacles. Exploring the dark places.
"Here. Eat up. You totally passed out on me back there. You could probably do with some sugar."
The soft voice beside you is the only thing loud enough to permeate your daydreams. You don't have look up to know who it belongs to. Jungkook.
He peers down at you, sun beating down against his back. He's holding two vanilla ice cream cones, double scooped, and he thrusts one into your hands before mirroring your position at the edge of the boardwalk.
The walk down here from the Crestmont was more or less silent, and your stomach twists now you realise Jungkook wants to talk.
"What are you thinking about?"
"Nothing." You lie. The ice cream is cold and sweet and covers the bitterness. "I just think it's funny."
Jungkook's tongue sneaks out to lick up the melted cream dribbling down his cone. "What is?"
"How this place stays the same but I feel so different." You were born here, raised here. This place was your whole life once, with it's salty air and bustling casino's. But since the accident, something's been bubbling inside you, swelling and crashing like the ocean below that taunts you and you've never felt farther from home in your life as you do now, looking out over the town that just won't budge, just like the funny ache in your chest. "Forget I said it. I don't know why I'm even telling you this."
Jungkook fidgets beside you and runs a hand through his hair with a sigh."It's okay, y'know. To miss her."
Your mom. You know that's who he means. Just the mention of her stings.
"Mhm." You snort. "Tell that to my family. If we all carried on missing mom then we'd be in pretty hot shit by now."
"If it's Taehyung you're worried about, then don't be. He's stronger than he looks."
"Until he's not anymore. And we lose him again just like—" You pause. You hate how you can hear the pain in your voice so you smooth it out. "Just like before. And I can't let that happen. I won't."
Jungkook shifts. As Taehyung's oldest friend he was there for everything in the aftermath of the accident. He was there when you put on a brave face for the sake of your family. He was there when Taehyung couldn't be any more.
"That doesn't mean you have to be strong all the time. Think about it this way. The ocean isn't always this calm right?" He gazes wistfully out over the ocean that swells and crashes against the shore, fingers twirling the gold chain around his neck. "Last winter when we had that huge storm, the waves were so big they smashed right through the pier support beams."
You furrow your brows. "What about it?"
"The ocean was just too much for the pier to bare and it would've come crashing down forever if half the neighborhood didn't come down to the beach in the dead of night, despite the rain, and hold it together until the storm calmed and the emergency repair boats could get to shore."
It's true. You remember how unforgiving the rain was as it pelted down against your back and froze you through to the bone that night as each and every familiar face from your neighborhood came down to the seafront to lend a hand, your family included.
Jungkook was there too. He was the one who knocked on your door in the early hours to spread the word. He got given free churros for life by one of the pier stall owners as a reward.
"What I'm trying to say Y/N, is that Taehyung has you to lean on, right? So who do you have?" Jungkook says, staring at you head on now. His sincerity almost makes you blush.
You bite your lip. Deep down you know that your beams are just as broken as Taehyung's and it's only a matter of time before they come crashing down into the water, and this time there'll be nobody to hold the pieces together.
"I don't need anyone. I'm just fine on my own. I can handle my ocean."
Jungkook brushes your hand. You flinch, so he pulls it back into his lap. "Well if you ever need a life boat, then you know where I am okay?"
You don't believe him, but he's staring at you so expectantly that you just tell him what he wants to hear. You're good at that.
"Okay." You whisper. "Okay."
Children's laughter bubbles up from the beach. You watch their distant silhouettes dancing among the waves. It's Jungkook who breaks the silence before it settles between you and becomes uncomfortable.
"Anyway, what were you doing up there on the stage today?" He smiles, like he's trying to lighten the mood. "You looked like you were having the time of your life before—"
You feel your cheeks start to burn. How long had Jungkook been watching you at the Crestmont? Had he seen the whole thing?
"It was nothing. I was just being dumb."
"Nothing?" Jungkook cocks his head to the side and punches you playfully. "It didn't seem like nothing."
"It just...it makes me feel close to my mom when I'm on the stage." You admit. "I loved watching her when I was a kid. She was always larger than life in my eyes. She had this way of making you really believe she was someone else. It was like she wasn't just acting -- she was becoming. Sometimes...sometimes I think I liked her better when she was in character."
You shake your head with a small smile. "I like me better when I'm in character. I used to dream about going to New York one day and becoming an actress just like she wanted to. Small town girl making it big in the city and all that." You scoff. "But I'm nothing like her. It's just fun to pretend sometimes."
"You're good. At performing. Like, really good." Jungkook's eyes are wide. When he places a hand on your forearm you don't shake it off this time. "You take after her. Everyone says it."
It's true. There's one photo of your mom in the house. It's in Taehyung's room. When you were younger you thought it was your face staring back at you from behind the glass. Sometimes you'll be walking down the boardwalk or serving soda's at work and you'll hear the whispers. See their heads turn. Is it her?
"Pfft. Looks mean nothing." You scoff. "She was fearless. I can't even speak in front of one person without passing out, let alone a crowd."
Realisation crosses Jungkook's face. "Oh. So that's what happened back there? Stage fright?"
"Uh huh." You roll your eyes. "So don't give me the follow your dreams spiel or whatever."
"Hmm." Jungkook uses his arms as a makeshift pillow so he can lay back against the ground. You mirror him, peering through your fingers to watch how the golden rays of the sun swallow his frame. "Remember that play they made us do in middle school?"
"The Nativity?" You raise your eyebrow. It was the first theatre production you were in, before the accident and way before you had stage fright.
"Yeah." He grins. "I was the sheep. Taehyung made fun of me for months afterwards because of that stupid costume my grandma made."
"Yeah." You snort. "You did look sorta dumb."
Jungkook bumps your arm with a playful pout that makes you giggle. "And do you remember how I forgot my lines on stage and nearly pissed myself with stage fright? God, I still remember how mad my dad looked in the front row. We'd practiced that part for weeks. I don't know why it happened. I just froze—" A small smile forms on his lips. "But you didn't. Next thing I know there's a kid in a gold star of Bethlehem costume running on stage to recite my lines for me. You stole the show, remember that? Everyone loved you."
"That was then." You murmur, but you can't suppress the smile tugging at the corners or your mouth. "I'm not the same person."
"You were a year younger than the rest of my class but you auditioned anyway, because you knew that you were the only person who could play the star. Because you were a star."
Jungkook turns so that his head rests on his elbow and you're suddenly so close you can feel his breath ghost across your cheek. Your heart pumps in your ears as you gaze dips down to his rosy lips and back up to his sparkling eyes which bore into yours.
"You still are a star."
The words echo in your ears, soft and sincere. His tongue snakes out to wet his lips. You lose your breath. And then you jump away, placing a safe distance between your bodies before you can do something you regret.
"And what about you. Are you still a sheep?" You tease, turning your face so he can't see how it burns rosy red.
"Nah. Figured out pretty quickly after that that I was better off behind the camera." He chuckles.
"Oh right. You still have that thing?" You nod to the camera in his lap. It's one of those old ones that looks like the type that needs a film reel and a projector, but it's been modified so there's a little viewfinder at the side to check the footage instead. "Can I see?"
"What?" Jungkook blinks.
"Some of the stuff you've filmed?"
"Oh! Right!" It's his turn to flush now, scratching the back of his neck as he anxiously thrusts the camera into your hands and pays close attention to the hangnail at the edge of his thumb as you watch the footage.
Your eyes widen when a familiar scene rolls out on the tiny screen. You, on stage at the Crestmont. Jungkook filmed you.
"This is..."
"You." He rushes."Yeah, I know. Sorry if this is awkward—"
"No. Not at all. I just—" You watch in awe as the you inside the camera moves across the stage with an effortless grace. How the lights make your eyes shine and your skin brighter than you remember it being in the mirror this morning. "How did you do that?"
Jungkook's forehead creases. "Do what?"
"Make me look like...that."
"I didn't do anything." Jungkook shrugs. "That's just how I see you."
You could listen to him say that all day, but you stop yourself mid swoon.
"Don't say things you don't mean."
"I do mean it. And I'll show you." He wiggles his eyebrows.
"How?"
He grabs your hand and squeezes it. Tight. "I don't know how yet but I will."
You roll your eyes. "Good luck, Jeon."
"You know I like a challenge." Jungkook laughs, and the melodic sound goes right to your chest. "I'll make you see yourself how I see you. Just wait."
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"Since when did you have four wheels?" You call to Jungkook with a quirk of your brow, resting your elbows on the window ledge of the beat up truck he pulls up in outside the Crestmont.
It's a sticky August afternoon and the rusty red vehicle purrs— or more like splutters — in the parking lot as Jungkook untangles your bike from the rack and lifts it into the cargo bed like it's weightless. Just yesterday he came by with his pump and a patch to fix that goddamn slashed tyre, and now he's stealing it?
"Hey! What are you doing with my bike?"
He is clad in nothing but a white vest and board shorts, and you can see perspiration glimmering at his temples as the salty breeze blowing from the beach ruffles the dark curls that flop over his forehead.
"This is my dad's truck," His eyes flash with pride as he hops into the open drivers side door and makes the engine growl. He nods to the empty seat beside him and pushes his dark round sunglasses down the bridge of his nose, fanning his face with his hands. "And you won't be needing your bike today. Now hurry up and get in, loser. I've been waiting ages for your shift to finish and the AC is broken."
You raise a brow. "We're going somewhere?"
"Yeah. Why else would I be waiting for you to get in my truck?"
"I mean, we're going somewhere in this?" You nod towards the truck's worn tires, the fumes that wisp from the exhaust pipe like a lit cigar. "Are you sure it's safe?"
Jungkook notices the way you bite your lip. You don't even have to tell him the worries that are running through your mind. It's as if he can read them like an open book.
"Are you still scared of riding in cars?" He questions, softly.
You nod. That's what an accident does to someone. Makes them scared of something they ordinarily wouldn't even question.
"A little." The breeze ruffles your hair and you hide behind it. "I'm getting better." You add, so he doesn't feel bad because you know he does. His face tells you as much.
"It's a short drive, if that helps." He rushes. "And I asked Taehyung and he said you'd be okay, but if you aren't then I can just walk you home—"
"No." You shake your head firmly. There's a funny fizzing in your stomach that's been there ever since that day on the boardwalk, and it's only growing stronger and stronger now you're inches away from Jungkook and his warm eyes and gentle smile. You don't want it to end just yet. It's enough to outweigh the wriggling fear that's always inside you just a little. "Where are we going?"
Jungkook's face lights up and your heart flips when you realise it's because of you.
"I told you I was gonna make you see what I see, didn't I?"
"Oh that was today?" You tease. "Must have missed it it in the calendar."
"Stop asking questions! Just get in. Please?"
"Fine." You walk around to the passenger door, sliding in beside him and throwing your bag into the back seat. "But I need to be home by midnight or Taehyung will worry."
"No problemo." Jungkook salutes as he switches on the engine and the truck roars to life. You clasp your hands tightly in your lap and breathe through your nose. You're okay. You're safe."Home by midnight. It's a promise."
You gaze out of the window to stop your thoughts from running wild. Jungkook turns left, away from town and the beach and everything familiar. You watch it get smaller and smaller in the mirrors, strangely relieved. Strangely excited.
"Now will you tell me where we're going?" You ask.
"Nope." Jungkook chuckles when you pout. "Just sit back. Relax. Take in the view. Listen to the music."
He leans across the dash, making a point to keep his eyes on the road as he fiddles with the stereo. A familiar string of guitar chords fill the truck. You recognise them, even if vaguely. Probably from Taehyung's vast collection of records.
"The Beatles right?" You ask, resting your chin on your knee as you dare to take a peek at him, blushing when you find him already staring at you.
"Pfft, yeah. Of course it's The Beatles! Only their greatest soundtrack, like, ever."
You shrug. "I've never listened to them before, so I wouldn't know."
"Oh come on? You haven't seen A Hard Day's Night?" His eyes widen when you shake your head. "Super Fly? Pulp Fiction? Purple Rain?"
You stifle a giggle at the look of pure shock he's sending you. "Nope. Should I have?"
"Absolutely!" He splutters. Passion shines in his eyes. "You're missing out on some of the greatest cinematography known to man!"
"I guess you have a lot to fill me in on, then."
"I sure do." His eyes soften. "Open the glove box."
You open it. Inside you find an assortment of cassette tapes, old and new. You send him a curious look.
"Close your eyes and choose one." He nods. "Go on."
You do as he says and shut your lids tightly, feeling around until your fingers curl around a tape you're strangely drawn to. When you open your eyes you find a worn box in your palm, yellow at the edges, and you're momentarily disappointed until Jungkook hums in approval beside you.
"Good choice! Dirty Dancing. A classic." He takes it from you and slides the tape into the stereo. It crackles a little before the music starts. "Trust me, you'll love it."
The stereo tracklist flashes amber. 01: Do You Love Me?
"You broke my heart 'cause I couldn't dance," Jungkook sings along in a deep voice, eyebrows bouncing as you loll your head to the side to send him an eye roll. "And now I'm back to let you know I can really shake 'em down!"
The song starts, all vibrant guitar and drums. It has a funky 60's groove, like it belongs in a swing dancing club instead of on the highway at sunset. It's a happy song and you think it suits Jungkook just right.
Speaking of Jungkook, he starts to bob his head in time with the beat, fingertips tapping in rhythm against the steering wheel. He looks adorably dorky, losing himself to the song, like he's forgotten you're even sat beside him.
"You look like an idiot." You deadpan, though you can't cover the laugh that escapes you as he sings along louder.
"No, I look like I'm having fun!" Jungkook rolls down the window and turns up the music so loud he has to shout for you to hear him. "Don't you ever do this? Just give in to the music for a while? Let your body do what it wants?"
"Uh, no. I prefer to just listen." You shout back. "Besides, your body should be focused on driving this car right now--"
"Oh come on! Just try it."
"Try it?" You blink, stomach suddenly knotting."Like now? In front of you?"
"Well duh. Look. Copy me."
He starts to shake his shoulders from side to side, fingers clicking as he nods for you to do the same.
"I...okay." You start to copy, but you catch yourself in the rear view mirror and you just look stiff compared to how effortlessly Jungkook moves to the rhythm.
"See you're doing it!" Jungkook grins, throwing his head back. "Feels good huh?"
"Kinda..." You have to admit there is something liberating about just letting go. "Like this?"
Your knees volunteer themselves to the beat, and then your arms, and before you know it you've got your eyes closed, hair whipping around your face as you speed down the interstate
"That's it. Feel the music!"
Before you know it, the song ends and you realise all at once that you're laughing. Loud and free, enough to make your belly hurt. Jungkook is too, the sound better than any song you've ever heard, and neither of you can seem to stop.
"Oh my god." You pant, covering your face with your fingers, embarrassed. "Now we both look like idiots."
"Don't hide from me." Jungkook bites his lip. You're suddenly aware of how close he is. His arms grab your wrists, pulling them away from your face, but he doesn't drop the one closest to him. Instead he links your fingers and uses your shared grip to change the gear as he turns down a winding road.
"I'm shy." You say, and you can feel the heat in your cheeks.
"Why? You're beautiful." Jungkook puts the car into park. You realise all at once that you've been driving for ages and you didn't even panic once. "Besides, we've arrived. And you're not gonna wanna miss seeing this."
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The destination Jungkook seems so excited about turns out to be a concrete parking lot.
"Where are we, Jungkook?" You ask, looking around but finding nothing but tyre tracks and dirt.
Jungkook has already hopped out of the drivers side, sliding over the hood of the car to tug open your door with a quirk of his brow.
He holds out his palm, upturned and calloused. "Do you trust me?"
You bite your lip, heart pounding. Do you trust him?
Your body speaks for you and you slide your hand into his. His thumb traces your knuckles reassuringly.
"Yes." You breathe. "I trust you."
"Good."
You yelp when an arm wraps around your waist and hoists you out of the car, tightly interlocked fingers blocking your vision like a makeshift blindfold. "Don't open your eyes until I tell you to."
"Okay." You giggle, feet stumbling as you try to find your balance with the help of a sturdy hand beneath your elbow.
Jungkook hums gently beneath his breath as he guides you up a path that turns from concrete to loose rock to dampened grass beneath the soles of your beat up sneakers. There's a voice in the back of your mind that tells you to be nervous; who knows where he could be taking you right now.
But as you breathe in the musty notes of his cologne and feel your heart flutter in your chest when he comes to a stop and rests his chin on your shoulder, just close enough to feel his laugh ghost across your neck, you don't care where in the world you are right now as long as it's beside him.
"Now, open."
The sun is startlingly bright when you open your eyes for the first time and see the vibrant meadow that stretches as far as you can see.
Wait — that's not the sun. It's sunflowers. Clusters of them, cheerfully waving with the breeze from where you stand on the path that continues for a few steps before it disappears among their stems.
The sunflowers are a burst of golden colour against the fading green of the meadow, and the horizon beyond that which boasts the silhouette of beach rock against the soft blue of the ocean at sunset. There's tracks here and there where the uncut grass is trampled, like some children had played hide and seek.
You reach out a hand and brush your fingertips over the velvety petals; breathe in the botanical scent of the fresh sunny blooms that dances through the meadow. It's breathtaking, you think. There's no coordination, just freedom choreographed by the wind as the tall stems sway back and forth in their gentle dance.
Before you know it you've taken off into a run, grinning with childlike glee when the tall grass tickles your nose and the sun whispers against your neck.
"Jungkook, this place is—"
"Beautiful right?" You nod breathlessly, blushing deeply when you come to a stop and find him staring right at you. He squeezes your hand and that's when you notice your fingers are still interlinked. "I come here a lot. When I need to think."
"How did you find this place?"
"Taehyung and I stumbled upon it a few summers ago by accident." He says. "Nobody knows about it. It's our secret."
"It's so beautiful." You whisper. "The whole world needs to see this."
Jungkook kicks at a stone with the toe of his boot. "I kinda like it being a secret. This place...is special to me."
"Then why...." The words get caught in your throat. You swallow and try again. "Why did you bring me here?"
"I wanted to show you the things I find most beautiful. Remember?"
"The sunflowers?"
"Well yeah..." He scratches the back of his neck. Swallows thickly, like he's preparing himself. "But I was thinking of something a little different..."
You close your eyes, a smile appearing on your lips as you let the crisp breeze caress your face. "Then what?"
There's a sharp click of a shutter, and when your lashes flutter open in surprise, Jungkook is shaking a Polaroid picture back and forth, his eyes glinting with something mischievous.
"Hey! Give me that—" You reach for the Polaroid, stomach churning with a sudden shyness that makes you hug your arms.
"Just — don't do that okay?" He holds it out of reach, pleading with his eyes. "Please."
"Do what?"
"Give up on what makes you happy just because you're scared." His palm cups your cheek. "You said it yourself. Being in front of the camera is where you belong. Don't you see that?"
"I'm not scared." You feel the heat rise in your cheeks when Jungkook sends you a knowing look. "Okay maybe I am scared. And so what if I am? You've already given me the face your fears spiel and I told you. I'm perfectly happy avoiding every camera known to man for the rest of my life if it means I never have to face them."
"But you've already faced one of your fears today. You got in my car, remember?" He raises an eyebrow, smug. "Well, two technically, 'cause you're here with me now and I know how nervous you used to get around me--"
"Did not!"
"Do too! Every time we talk outside of work you get all shy and--"
"Shut up."
"See! You're doing it right now!"
You don't know what compels you to do it. Maybe it's the heat rising in the apples of your cheeks or the way your heart quickens when Jungkook closes the gap between you, but before you can stop yourself you're reaching up and grasping his face with both hands.
"Oh just shut up and kiss me, doofus."
The smug smirk on Jungkook's face is replaced with wide eyed surprise, his lips falling still for a moment when yours crash against his. But then his steady hands find your waist and he supports you on your tip toes so he can pull you ever closer, melting into the plush press of your lips.
When you pull back, you're smiling. You can't help it. You've been dreaming of this moment since, like, middle school. And goddamn, he even tastes how you imagined. Like black coffee and toothpaste.
"See." He tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. "Happiness suits you."
"Whatever, Jeon." You smirk. "Don't let it go to your head, but it's thanks to you."
Jungkook flashes you the biggest bunny grin you've ever seen, eyes sparkling at your words.
"Wait...stay like that." He reaches for his camcorder in his backpack and points the lens at you. The smile falls from your lips. You place a hand on his arm, grip tighter than you intended.
"Jungkook stop."
"What's wrong? Just keep smiling like that, the shot was perfect—"
"I don't know what to do." You shrug, the lens boring into you like a judgy aunt at Thanksgiving dinner. "The camera makes me nervous."
"Just pretend I'm not here."
You sniff. "I don't want you to not be here..."
"Listen," Jungkook cups your face, thumbs tracing your cheeks fondly. "The reason I brought you here? It's because this place reminds me of you. Beautiful."
"Jungkook--"
"Just like you said, the world needs to see this place. Just like they need to see you."
"I..." Your heart is on the verge of exploding, you would swear it. "Okay." The word rolls off your tongue before you can stop it because somehow you trust him. And deep down, there's still that fizz of excitement mixing in with all the nervousness. The Jungkook Effect. You don't want to lose it to the darkness like everything else.
"I'll try. Just-- don't laugh at me okay?"
"You have my word, sarge." He salutes with a thoughtful grin. "Hold on a sec. I know exactly what you need to get you going."
Jungkook jumps to his feet and you watch with your chin tucked between your knees as he jogs down the rocky path and opens all four of the truck doors, even the trunk, before his head disappears into the vehicle and the same pumping bass from earlier starts blasting into the quiet serene of the sunflower field.
"There," He grins as he returns, out of breath, and sits back down beside you cross legged, holding his camcorder to his eye. "Now do what you were doing before again, but over there. Just pretend you're on stage at the Crestmont, okay?"
You feel the music wash over you and the urge to move hits you like a wave. Jungkook nods encouragingly and there's something in his eyes that flips a switch inside you. And for the first time in a long time, all the passion and spirit and feeling inside you fizzes up to the top and you can't contain it any longer.
"That's it!" Jungkook calls, shutter clicking uncontrollably. "I knew you could do it!"
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An oak tree provides sun-flecked shade, a cool sanctuary from the sun that sets on the horizon and splashes the sky's canvas magenta.
Jungkook laid out a checkered blanket from the trunk of his truck which you both lay upon, shoulders pressed together as close as humanly possible, surrounded by your devoured picnic consisting of his mom's fruit punch and bags of snacks he took from the concession stand at the Crestmont when nobody was looking.
"Holy shit, Y/N." He says through a mouthful of popcorn, jabbing his finger at his favourite shot of you in front of the sunflowers. "This is what I've been saying! You're a natural in front of the camera."
"No, you're amazing, Jungkook." You feel for his hand. It's funny how natural it feels already when his pinky links with yours. "Behind the camera."
"You think?" He chews his lip, eyes searching yours for approval.
"I know. You should do something with these. People need to see them."
"I'm thinking of becoming a filmographer, actually"
"Like at the pier?" You think of the tacky photo booth that overlooks the sea in town, fit with all the silly cardboard cut outs that tourists come and take a photo with for a dollar.
"No, I mean a real filmographer." He shrugs, and you're sure there's a trace of a blush on his cheeks. "Y'know. Movies and stuff."
You nod. It makes sense for Jungkook to spend his life with a camera glued to his right hand. You can't imagine Jungkook anywhere else, and you have to ignore the sinking feeling that comes with the realisation that he would eventually leave Ocean City -- and you -- behind for the big screen.
"Well you bet your ass I'll be front row to watch each and every one, Jeon Jungkook."
"My lucky star." Jungkook smiles.
"Always."
He must see the sadness brimming inside you, his body shuffling closer so your knees brush. It's reassuring somewhat.
"Actually...there's something I should tell you."
He shifts under your gaze. The nerves rush back. "What is it?"
"I guess I finished writing my first screenplay..."
"That's like a movie script, right?" You ask eagerly, and he nods. "That's great, Kook!"
"Yeah, it's great it's just --" He pauses, and clutches your hand tighter like he's scared what he says next will make you let go forever. "It's about you."
You pale. "M-me?"
"I mean, it's about you and...and Taehyung! And your mom." Jungkook rushes. "I was inspired by your story at the boardwalk and it just happened! I'm sorry, I know you probably hate me now and think I'm crazy but--"
"Burn it." You deadpan.
Jungkook blinks. "W..what?"
"I said burn it." You pull his hand into your lap and he lets out a sigh of relief. "I don't hate you, Kook. I just think you were right earlier when you said I need to face my fears. And the only way I can do that is by forgetting my past. The last thing I need is a whole freaking movie about it."
He joins in with your strained chuckles. "Sure you aren't mad?"
"Not mad." You assure with a smile.
"Then I'll burn it."
You avoid his gaze shyly. "I'm kinda honoured you wrote about me, though." You admit.
"I guess...I guess I could call you my muse." Jungkook blurts hurriedly. His nose is a deep shade of pink and it makes you want to tease him forever.
"Yeah." You nod to yourself with a smile. "I like that. Your muse."
And then his lips are on yours again, like he can't quite help himself, and you start to forget where yours begin and his end.
This time it's not delicate and sweet. It's slow and languid, hot and heavy. The sunflowers break your fall, Jungkook's lips never leaving yours as he climbs on top of you, one hand tangled in your hair, the other planted beside your head so that his chest hovers above yours. You're almost certain he can feel how hard your heart is pounding in your chest, but you don't care, too lost in the bliss of finally feeling Jungkook's plush lips against your own.
"Come to New York with me." He says breathlessly between kisses, and your heart stops.
"What?" You can hardly drag your lips away from his but you have to be sure you heard him right. New York?
"I mean, in the future. I'm gonna go to New York. Get a job at a film production company or something, I don't know--" He tucks a piece of hair behind your ear. "Come with me."
"I...I can't."
"Why?" He frowns. "Is it me?"
"No! God no."
"Then why? You said it was your dream right?" You nod. "So what's stopping you?"
"I..I have to take care of Taehyung, and my job at the Crestmont and--"
"Okay. Lets pretend none of that exists. It's just you and me." His breath ghosts against your forehead. "Y/N, will you come to New York with me?"
"Yes." It comes out breathless, but you mean it. With every atom and nerve and fiber in your body. "Lets go to New York."
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Where things change.
3 years later.
A postcard sits on the Welcome Home! Doormat you and Jungkook bought before you left for New York. You recognise the picture perfect image of Ocean City on the front, and Taehyung's messy scrawl on the back that tells you he's doing fine at his new management job at the Crestmont and he will be sending a housewarming gift imminently.
— Stay smiling, Y/N. Miss you already! Taehyung. :)
With a small smile you tack it onto the bare fridge. It brightens up the empty kitchen somewhat, a little piece of home and a reminder that you don't need to worry about leaving your brother behind to fend for himself so much any more. Since he pulled his life together and got a job at the theatre, it's like he came alive again. Found his purpose.
Speaking of purposes, you suppose that's how you found yourself here. In your very own apartment in a nice complex on the east side. The east side of New York City.
There's a pair of satin curtains hung over the balcony doors, probably left behind by the old tenant as it's the only form of furniture in the whole apartment. They rustle in the morning breeze and you tiptoe across the room barefoot to rip them open, letting your eyes flutter shut when the early morning sun filters through the glass and cascades over your face like a warm embrace.
You press a hand to the glass, studying your reflection; the messy lump of hair atop your head, the soft shadow of your lashes atop your cheeks. And beyond it, New York. Your new normal in all it's familiar glory from your dreams, yet still so deliciously foreign it makes your heart leap whenever a cab horn rings out in the distance or you breathe in the smell of fresh bagels from the shop down the street.
Home. You could finally call it that now. But New York is just a city and this apartment is just a house. The real reason you get to call this place home is because of who you came here with.
Jungkook.
You've been dating for two and a half years by now. He let you borrow one of his old much-too-big t-shirts to sleep in last night. There's a hole in the shoulder and the hem brushes your knees but it's warm and smells like his cologne and your heart expands when you close your eyes and remember this is just the beginning. You have so much to do, so many things to see here in New York. So many things to learn. And there's nobody you would want to explore life with more than Jungkook.
His camera equipment lays in a cardboard box by your feet, and something compels you to take out the old-school camcorder he loves. The leather strap tightens perfectly around your hand and the red RECORD button flashes as you open the doors wide and lift the lens to take in the view. Something tells you you're gonna want to remember this moment forever.
It's not long before a pair of arms wrap around your waist, chin tucked cheekily into your shoulder. "There you are." Jungkook husks, stilly groggy with sleep as his lips ghost across your cheek.
Turning around in his grasp, you find him still shirtless, sweatpants slung low around his hips. He's been working out recently, and you can't deny you don't love how firm his shoulders feel when you brace yourself on them to stand on your tip toes and leave a peck to his lips.
"Morning sleepyhead," you say, running your fingers through the strands of his silky bed hair. It's longer these days, whispering across the nape of his neck and falling across his round eyes sweetly. They flutter closed when you massage his scalp just how he likes it. "I was wondering when you'd finally get out of bed."
"Missed you." His lips turn up when he sees the camera pointed at his face. "Whaddya doing with that?"
"Making memories." You say simply, zooming in on him as he rubs his sleepy eyes. "So we never forget this."
A cheeky smirk appears on his lips as he wraps you in his arms, a surprised giggle leaving you when he spins you around and grabs the camera so he can point it at the both of you, his chin resting on your shoulder now as his bare arm snugly wraps around your waist.
"Hey stop! I just woke up, I look bad!"
"Hello us of the future," Jungkook chuckles, pulling your fingers away from your face when you bury your face in his chest to hide from the lens. "It's our first day in New York and Y/N is being all camera shy--okay, okay fine, lets show them the view instead!"
Jungkook finally flips the lens around so it focuses on the distant silhouettes of tall skyscrapers skimming the blue skyline, before he turns it back onto you guys once more with a mischievous look this time.
"But we have to go now because we have far more interesting business to attend to..." He lowers the camera as his lips start to trail up your collar bone and he smiles when your eyes flutter shut and you gasp at the feeling, but it's quickly replaced by a pout when you wriggle out of his embrace with a stern look.
"Not now. Later."
"Mmf? Why?" He whines, making grabby hands towards you. "You're so warm, jus' wanna cuddle for a bit."
"No time!" You call over your shoulder as you grab him by the hand and drag his heavy feet behind you. "We've got an apartment to decorate."
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Before you know it you've enlisted Jungkook's help in laying tarps across the living room floor, two pots of bright white paint plonked in the center. It's not like you could afford a decorator after all. You are two broke twenty-something's trying to make it big in New York, and all that cliche stuff. So you would just have to do it yourselves.
Jungkook's over in the corner, miming along to the guitar solo from some rock song playing from the radio balanced on the windowsill, the paint roller his instrument as he dances around the room with giddy impulse. There's paint all over his butt where he accidentally leaned against one of the wet walls and he's got his hair tied back into a bun at the crown of his head and you watch him out of the corner of your eye while an affectionate smile creeps onto your face no matter how hard you try to curb it.
That's when you notice the camera in his other hand. He zooms in on the stepladder in the corner, the paint spillage in the hall, the heart with Y/N + JUNGKOOK FOREVER written inside it on the back wall. Documenting everything as usual.
He was always filming you, too. Whether you were making coffee in the morning or drying your hair. He'd even slow down beside you on the sidewalk to get the perfect shot.
You find it cute, even though you pretend to hate it. It makes your heart flutter every time you catch him rewinding the footage with a contented smile on his face, like he just captured the whole world with his lens.
It's no surprise when you finish putting the final coat on the wall and step back to admire your handy work that you find him wandering around the apartment with his hand curved around the lens of one of his bigger cameras like it's natural to him. You always joke that thing is like an extra limb, but he looks so calm as he looks through his lens at the room that is now drunk on the afternoon sun pouring through the window, the golden rays like honey on his skin, that it's easy to see that the camera really is a part of him. Passion lies in the soft lines of concentration on his face, in the plump lip tugged between teeth as he fiddles with the settings.
Jungkook sees beauty where others don't, where others can't. It might as well pump through his veins. And it's one of the reasons you love him so much.
You shake your head when you see how a small smile finds his lips when he leans a shoulder against the door frame and lets the camera land on the thing he swears is most beautiful.
"Hey." You warn, shooting a side wards glare at the camera lens you spot Jungkook not so discreetly pointing in your direction. "Stop it."
"Stop what?" He runs a hand through his hair, lips pulling back into a sly bunny smile when you bend down to reach a spot you missed at the bottom of the wall. "I'm not doing anything."
Your upper lip twitches. "Are you zooming in on my ass?"
"What? No!" Jungkook scrunches his nose with wide eyes, a habit you knew meant he was guilty, a pout forming on your lips as he snaps the viewfinder closed and shoves the offending piece of his equipment behind his back.
You narrow your eyes affectionately. "Perv."
"I don't know what you're talking about." He blows a strand of hair out of his face innocently but there's a playful glint in his eyes and you can hardly keep a serious face as you plant your hands on your hips in what you hope is a menacing manner.
"Then lemme see it." You challenge with a nod to the camera behind him.
He feigns indifference, cocking his head to the side like an overgrown puppy. "See what?"
"That's it!" You shake your head, charging towards and him making grabby motions towards the camera. Jungkook looks down at you fondly as he holds it above your head, out of reach, and it only makes you you pout harder. "Hey! Give it!
"Never!" You jump pitifully, fingers grasping around nothing. A melodic chuckle spills from Jungkook's lips when you cross your arms over your chest in defeat and blink up at him crossly. "You have to say the magic word first."
You scoff at the teasing look on his face as he wiggles his eyebrows and waves the camera just above your head, before an idea strikes you and within seconds you're wielding a paintbrush, Jungkook's eyes widening when you point the paint coated bristles at his face.
"Give it up." You hold out your palm with a smug look. "Or the walls are not the only thing getting a fresh coat."
"You wouldn't." He smirks, despite being backed into a corner now.
"Oh yeah?" Without further ado you swipe the brush down the bridge of his nose, swallowing a giggle at the white smudge it leaves behind and his shocked expression beneath it. "You underestimate me, Jeon."
Jungkook pushes his tongue into his cheek, eyes dancing up and down your body before they lock with yours daringly. "You shouldn't have done that."
"Or what?" You taunt playfully, a laugh escaping you, but you quickly bite down on your lip when you see the glint in Jungkook's eyes as he submerges both his hands into the nearby bucket of paint.
You don't run when he steps closer. Instead your breathing quickens, heart doing a funny somersault when he brushes your hair to the side and clamps both of his wet hands on the sides of your jaw to bring your face up to his.
He tastes like coffee and desire when your lips crash together in a delicious tangle of teeth and tongue, all the thoughts racing through your mind dripping away like honey until all that's left is the thump of your heart against your chest and Jungkook's warmth as he backs you up against the wall.
When he pulls away he rubs his paint covered nose against yours, cocking his head and smiling sweetly when he leans back and admires his handy work.
"You have paint on your face." He looks down at his white hands innocently with a shrug. "Whoops?"
His hands trail down to your hips. You reach to your side and grab a fistful of paint, wiping it down the centre of his face and giggling when he groans and scrunches his eyes closed . "So do you."
"Okay, that's it. This means war!" Jungkook growls, strong arms wrapping around your waist, and before you know it you're stumbling over to the mattress in the corner, Jungkook's body hovering over yours.
"You wanna play dirty, huh?" Desire-filled eyes trace your face, travelling down the expanse of your neck before zeroing in on your collar bones. You gasp when Jungkook's lips attach themselves to the sensitive skin, every inch of you set alight when his burning fingers slide beneath the hem of your tshirt and find your thighs. "Always being such a bad girl, huh?"
"So? What're you gonna do about it? Punish me?" You say teasingly, and he stiffens, lips leaving a mark behind on your neck with a pop. Jungkook's narrowed eyes meet yours and you feel your heart speed up with anticipation.
His lips twitch, like they're dying to turn up. "Brat."
With that, you're being flipped over onto your knees with a yelp. Jungkook's hands work quickly and before you know it your tshirt is over your head and the sudden breeze from the open balcony doors against your hardened nipples makes you gasp.
"You love it." You laugh breathily.
"Too much," Jungkook confirms, before his large palm presses you down into the bed firmly between the shoulder blades so that your ass is thrust up in the air. You wiggle is teasingly, though the breath catches in your throat when the first spank lands on your bare skin. Then a second, the sound ringing out through the empty room like an echo and making a damp spot appear on your panties.
"Hey!" You chastise when you remember the paint on his hands that just left two glaring handprints right across your ass.
Jungkook just smirks. "What? Now everyone knows it's mine."
A third slap and you have to bite the blanket to stop from groaning, then a fourth, and a fifth and by then your eyes are watering but in the best way. Calloused hands smooth over the burning area, soothing it.
"Good girl," A raspy voice whispers next to your ear. "Such a good girl for me, taking your punishment. I think you deserve your reward now, hm?"
"Please." You moan as he reaches around to grasp your breast, tweaking your nipples in a way that has you writhing beneath him.
"Don't say I didn't warn you though," Jungkook chuckles as he rips your panties down your legs, gasping at the sight of your dripping slit like it's the first time. He runs a finger down your folds, biting back a groan when it makes your legs fall open a little further, desperate for his touch. "I'm not gonna go easy on you."
"Jungkook, what do you-- oh!." Before you can finish, Jungkook is pushing your face back into the comforter, spreading your cheeks with his palms and licking an agonizingly slow stripe up your throbbing core. His tongue finds your clit easily, toying it with the tip playfully until you're gasping for air.
"Mmf, tastes so good." He murmurs against your folds, the vibrations of his chuckle making you moan so hard your legs start to shake. His tongue finds your hole, swirling around teasingly before it slips inside and you can't handle it anymore.
"Jungkook!" You gasp, reaching behind to grab his hair. "I..I can't-"
"You can." He says, almost a command, mouth leaving your pussy only so he can slide over onto his back and pull you back down onto his face by the hips.
"Oh g-god!" Your hand reaches for the headboard, landing on the wall to steady yourself when you remember you still haven't bought a bed frame yet. Your legs are starting to ache from holding yourself up but you don't care, too lost in the feeling of Jungkook's tongue lapping at your swollen folds as you grind in lazy circles on his face.
"C-close, Kook." You manage to splutter, head thrown back with pleasure when he slides two of his fingers inside you and starts to pump in time with his tongue, the sensation of being filled enough to send you over the edge into a shuddering climax that is unlike anything you've felt before, the only thought on your mind the way your hole clenches around your boyfriend's fingers.
It takes a few moments for your legs to stop shaking, your hearing slowly coming back into focus as you hear both of your heavy breaths intermingled. You look between your legs to find Jungkook staring up at you with a grin, eyes filled with wonder. His chin gleams with your juices, the front of his t-shirt damp as you realise with a gasp what just happened.
"Did I--?"
"Yup."
"Holy fuck." You swing your leg over his shoulder so you're beside him, Jungkook sitting up to look at you, still mesmerised. "I...I'm sorry, that was--"
"The hottest thing you've ever done." Jungkook finishes, grinning at you like he just won the lottery.
You raise a brow, surprised. "Really?"
"Yeah. Can I fuck you now?"
You can't help but laugh at his eager puppy dog eyes, hands practically twitching at his sides to touch you. A quick glance at his crotch confirms the biggest tent in his pants you've ever seen, and you crook a finger towards him with a sultry smile and a nod.
"Let's see if you can make me do that again."
"O-Okay!" Jungkook pulls his shirt over his head eagerly, and then he's on top of you, burning skin meeting burning skin. Your palm runs down his chest, Jungkook's eyes falling shut when it reaches the hem of his sweatpants. You cant help but gasp when your fingers wrap around his length through his boxers, core already throbbing again to be filled. He shivers when your finger circles his tip, admiring the wet patch on his boxers.
"Eager?" You smirk.
"You squirted on my face, Y/N, of course I'm goddamn eager."
"Get these off then." You tug at his pants and he kicks them off without a second telling.
"Your wish is my command."
When he returns to hovering over you, both completely bare now, he pauses. His eyes meet yours, a gentle smile appearing on his lips as he tucks a stray piece of hair behind your ear and grips your jaw protectively.
"I love you, y'know."
You close the distance between you, pressing your lips against his but barely able to keep yourself from grinning with the elation swirling in your chest. "I love you too, doofus. Now hurry up or I'm gonna have to fuck myself."
"That sounds kinda awesome--"
"Kook!"
"Okay, okay, on it!"
Palms spread your legs, and you both gasp when Jungkook runs the blunt head of his leaking cock up and down your slit, coating himself in your juices before he lines it up with your entrance.
"Ready?" He checks, thumb tracing circles into your inner thigh.
"As I'll ever be."
And with that, he pushes inside, his head falling into the crook of your neck with a sigh of relief at finally feeling your walls clenching around his throbbing length. The stretch of his girth stings, but it makes you feel so deliciously full, so perfectly whole to be connected to Jungkook like this that all you can get out is another soft I love you that earns a blissful smile from your boyfriend as he starts to move.
Each stroke makes you lose your breath, the tip of his cock hitting your sweet spot just right. It's when Jungkook takes your nipple into his mouth that you feel a second orgasm start to build, one hand gripping the sheets as the other drags scratch marks down his muscular back in blissful agony.
It's not long before Jungkook spills inside you with a deep growl, your own high hitting you as you feel him coat your walls. He collapses onto your chest, breaths deep and exhausted, and wraps you in his arms before you can even catch your breath.
Jungkook pulls the sheets up over your shoulders and places a kiss to the top of your head. He's so warm you feel yourself start to drift off into a blissful sleep, the smile on your lips never faltering.
"I love you too." Is the last thing you hear him say before sleep takes you under, and you're safe wrapped up in each other's arms.
When you open your eyes, the room is warm with sunset's rose tinted blush, and Jungkook's body is no longer beside you. Rubbing your bleary eyes, you sit up on your elbow and find him on the ground in front of the freshly painted wall, intricate petals and stems flowing from the end of the paintbrush he delicately waves across the surface to paint the prettiest sunflower you've ever seen.
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"I'm home!" You hear your boyfriend yell out as he shuffles into the apartment, quickly followed by a yelp. "Hey, Gureum, stop trying to lick my face!"
You can't stop the smile that spreads across your features when a ball of white fluff comes bounding into the living room, the puppy that excitedly jumps into your arms tracking a trail of muddy paw prints over the script in your hands.
"Hey Gureum," You coo, scratching him behind the ears where you know his sweet spot is. "You're such a good boy, huh?"
"Don't praise him! He totally ran away from me in Central Park and I had to chase him all the way home!" You can practically hear Jungkook's eye roll, shaking your head fondly at the mock annoyance in his voice. It was Jungkook who begged you to adopt a puppy for months in the first place, and they've been more or less inseparable ever since — the little guy hardly ever leaves his side. It's safe to say Jungkook is definitely Gureum's favourite.
The smell of coffee and fresh bagels wafts through the apartment, a warm sensation settling in your stomach as your boyfriend rounds the corner and waves a brown paper bag.
"Still got us enough coffee to stay up all night learning lines though." Jungkook grins, dumping the contents onto the coffee table and raising his eyebrows when your hands dart straight for the chocolate cookies. "Speaking of learning lines, how is it going, pretty?"
He nods towards the script in your hand. It's worn at the edges and ferociously dog eared from all the nights you have stayed up until sunrise reciting the words littered across the pages over and over, until it's like your lips are moving by muscle memory and the words are a part of you.
After what felt like hundreds of failed auditions, you had started to lose hope. With every letter that landed on the porch with another SORRY or MAYBE NEXT TIME, you felt all the confidence in the dream you worked so hard to uncover start to dwindle.
But Jungkook was always there, by your side no matter what. Encouraging you when you forgot your lines or holding you when you didn't get the callback. Reminding you to eat whenever you were too absorbed in your work to cook or cheering you on from the crowd at your weekly improv performances.
It was Jungkook who cried with you when the director of the small theatre downtown called and gave you the lead part in his upcoming stage production. Your big break. And you were determined to make sure everything ran smoothly at opening night tomorrow, which is how you find yourself snuggled up on the couch rewinding your VHS copy of Dirty Dancing over and over again until you have every word memorised by heart.
"Pretty good." You say as you pop a salted peanut into your mouth while Jungkook slips out of his tweed jacket. He's been trying to dress more New-York-ish these days, or so he says. More dress pants and less sweats. "Final rehearsals start at five."
"Aren't you nervous?" Jungkook squishes into the space beside you, Gureum cuddling up between your bodies.
Tomorrow night's show is sold out, along with every night after that for the next week. You heard there were going to be at least 700 people there each night.
"Terribly." You admit, stomach churning at the thought of 700 pairs of eyes staring right at you. You try to focus on the fizzing excitement that lingers there too, growing stronger and stronger. "But I think I'm more excited".
"I'm excited to see you up there doing what you love." Jungkook smiles, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. "My star."
"Well don't get too excited because I still keep messing up this one goddamn scene," You flip the script to a page covered in bright highlighter scribbles and run your fingers through your hair exasperatedly. "I'm totally gonna mess it up and then I'll never get another job and—"
"Shhh," Jungkook takes the script from your hands and runs his eyes over it quickly. "Don't talk like that. You're gonna be amazing — hold up..." He raises an eyebrow. "Is this...the kiss scene?"
You feel your cheeks redden, voice small. "Yes."
"Then you're in luck because who better to help you practice than the best kisser in all of New York?"
You snort. "Wow, I sure could use some of your expertise Good-Sir-Makes-Out-A-Lot."
"Then you're in the right place..." He runs his finger over the script, jabbing at one line in particular.
[Johnny and Baby kiss.]
"Let's start here, hm? For practice, obviously."
"For practice." Your eyes roll but your heart still beats a little faster as he closes the space between you, hand pressing into the wall so his sturdy body hovers over yours, hands instinctively pulling him closer by the collar.
"Come give me a kiss, m'lady..." Jungkook murmurs, but before he can tilt your chin up towards his lips there's a sudden series of frantic knocks at the front door.
"What the heck?"
You both jump out of your skin, Jungkook's eyes narrowing as he glances over his shoulder at the shadowy figure outside, fist pounding the glass fervently, like they're trying to break it down.
"Okay, damn, I'm coming!" He yells with a roll of his eyes. He wraps the blanket around your shoulders as he hops up from the couch with a sigh. "Probably just some dumb marketer again or something — dude, chill! I said I'm coming! — be right back."
The lock slides open and you hear Jungkook gasp. Your stomach drops. "Who is it?"
"Uh, Y/N..." You hear the door click shut and the sound of squeaky shoes shuffling inside. The anxiety in Jungkook's voice makes your heart skip. "You might wanna come see this."
"Huh?" Your legs feel shaky as you follow him out into the hall, chest seizing when you lay eyes on the dripping wet hair and chattering teeth of the shivering man stood before you, eyes dark and grave like they used to be.
"Taehyung?" You splutter, ripping the blanket from around your shoulders and swaddling him in it as quickly as you can, Jungkook already bounding into the other room to get dry clothes and towels after shooting you a terrified glance.
Taehyung grabs your shoulders and pulls you into a tight embrace. His cheeks are wet against your shoulder, but you can't tell if it's because he's been crying or because he's been out in the freezing cold rain — hold on, did he walk here?
"Y/N," He murmurs frantically, eyes darting back and forth but never quite focusing on anything. You knew this look. This is how he looked that day you found out about the accident. Murky, far far away. Devastatingly sad. Something wasn't right.
"What is it?" You ask, pulling him into the living room and sitting him on the couch before his shaking knees buckle beneath him. "What are you doing here, Tae?"
"It's...it's the Crestmont." He whispers.
"What about the Crestmont?" Jungkook appears behind Taehyung, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder, but it's like your brother doesn't even feel it.
"They're tearing it down." He mumbles. "They're tearing down the Crestmont. Forever."
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"Okay, now let's start from the beginning."
Jungkook's calm voice lilts from beside Taehyung who, after a warm shower and two cups of cocoa, has stopped shivering and seems to be ready to talk.
A hand reaches across the coffee table to tug on your wrist mid-lift to your mouth, a reminder from Jungkook to stop biting your nails. An old nervous habit you thought you'd left behind in Ocean City but apparently more than just Taehyung showed up here unannounced tonight.
"I...I got a call this morning." Taehyung begins, pausing to take a sip from the mug he cradles in his lap. His hands are shaking so he places it on the coffee table for safe keeping, right beside your discarded script. "It was from a construction company."
"And?" You prod, somewhat impatiently, making Taehyung jump.
"And apparently the owner of the theatre is behind on rent and...and..." He swallows hard. "And they're buying the rights to tear it down and build an apartment complex in its place."
"What?" Both you and Jungkook exclaim at the same time.
Jungkook's fists clench. "I always knew that old man was shady."
Taehyung fumbles in the pocket of the coat he arrived with, retrieving a brochure which he thrusts towards you.
The image on the front is of a metal skyscraper, far too shiny and new to belong in a seaside town like Ocean City. Fusion Apartments — modern living.
Jungkook rakes a hand through his hair, eyes sorrowful as you pass it over to him. "This sucks. Big time." He murmurs. "The Crestmont is the heart of Ocean City. How can they just bulldoze it like it means nothing?"
"That's why..." Taehyung swallows. "That's why I came here. I thought maybe you guys could help me, and we could do something before they—"
"We?" You furrow your brows. "You want us to help stop them from tearing down the Crestmont?"
"I mean yeah, I guess? I figured you guys would understand how important it is—"
You bite your lip. Taehyung flinches when you place a hand on his knee. "Tae. It seems like they've already got it figured out I mean...what can we do about it? The Crestmont has had a long run and maybe it's time for something new in Ocean City..."
"Y/N?" Jungkook warns, but there's a betrayal in his voice. How could you say that? It pains you, but you continue anyway. "What are you saying?"
"I just...I think it's time to let the Crestmont go."
Taehyung stands up so abruptly his mug smashes onto the marble tile.
"How could you?" He roars, but his bottom lip trembles. "The Crestmont is mom's place! It's all we have left of her in that fucking town and you want to just let them burn it to the ground?"
You tut, kneeling to pick up the broken pieces of china with a sharp glance at your brother. "For goodness sake, Taehyung. Mom isn't there anymore. She never was. She was always running off with some roadies and leaving us behind because she thought she was something special."
Taehyung scoffs. "What? Just like you?" He grabs the cocoa sodden script, crumpling it up in his shaking fist. "You are exactly the same as her. Running off to New York and leaving me behind to get your big break."
Jungkook steps forward warily. "Taehyung, you don't mean that—"
"Yes I do! If Y/N had just gotten in the car that day she wouldn't have died. It was all her fault. And now she's just gonna let them take what we have left of her."
"What?" Jungkook blinks.
Your stomach sinks. Is that really what Taehyung thinks? You wouldn't blame him. Deep down, his words strike a nerve. Because you know they're true.
Taehyung's eyes are hazy, unfocused. You reach for him dizzily, but he backs away into the hall.
"I shouldn't have come here." Taehyung whispers. He looks between you and Jungkook one last time before he's grabbing his coat and running down the steps to the first floor.
"Taehyung, wait!" You hear Jungkook's footsteps follow him out into the stairwell, but you're trapped on the ground, heaving for air.
Your hands shake as you pull yourself up to the window pane and watch Taehyung disappear into the gloom of the city, the sorrowful raindrops that lash against the glass mirroring the ones on your cheeks.
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YOU: Taehyung??? YOU: [CALL IGNORED] YOU: please Tae YOU: can we at least talk about this? YOU: we're worried about you
It's been nearly 12 hours since you watched Taehyung disappear among the hustle and bustle of New York from your apartment window.
You and Jungkook were out all night searching for him. By the time you gave up the sun was rising and the birds were chirping and Jungkook somehow convinced your shivering form to return home to rest with a Taehyung shaped hole in your heart.
"It'll be okay. He'll be okay. He always is."
A phone call to your dad revealed he hadn't returned home that night; so where did he go exactly?
The weight of that question sits heavy in your chest as you sit backstage at the theatre, staring into your own vacant eyes in the dressing room mirror.
It's opening night. The show is due to start in fifteen minutes. Your lips are painted a deep shade of red, hair backcombed to perfection by one of the makeup artists. Beneath the harsh lights of the exposed bulbs that line the mirror, you look almost unrecognisable.
Confident, strong, successful.
Anyone would say your dreams had come true, or something sappy to that effect. But even as you sit among the hustle and bustle of the costume team and breathe in the fragrance of perfume and powder blush, you couldn't feel further away from the New York version of yourself if you tried.
Staring back at you is a reflection of the shy, terrified girl from Ocean City you worked so hard to forget. Yet here she is, mind whirring with worries for her brother instead of the lines she should be rehearsing to death before curtain call.
This should be your big moment. One which you will remember forever. But all you want to do right now is hold Taehyung close like you used to and tell him you're sorry and that you won't leave him again.
"Y/N!" You're snapped out of your thoughts by a familiar hand on your shoulder. You cover it with your own, instantly eased somewhat when you glance up and lock eyes with Jungkook in the mirror.
"Y/N, I found him."
"What?!" You jump to your feet, chair scraping obscenely. It draws the eyes of the people around you who quickly register Jungkook's polite smile as their cue to shuffle out of the dressing room and leave you two to talk. "Where is he? I need to talk to him—"
"He's not coming."
"What?"
Jungkook sinks into the chair beside you, forehead creased. He runs a hand through his hair and momentarily you catch a glimpse of the old Jungkook. The Jungkook that always took care of his best friend Taehyung.
"I...I gave him a ticket for the show tonight and told him to come. To see how much this really means to you...but—"
Your finger nails press half moons into your palms. "But what, Kook?"
"He was already leaving for Ocean City."
A sob wracks your frame. "Do you think he hates me?"
Jungkook's arms engulf you before the first tear can roll down your cheek, his chin tucking perfectly into the cleft of your shoulder. "Of course not, he's just...he's hurting right now."
"I can't lose him — not like this, Kook..."
"Shh. It'll all be okay."
You jump back and start to pace. "But it's not okay! What he said last night is true!"
Jungkook sucks in a breath. "What?"
Your knees buckle and you crumple. You can hardly breathe, shame washing over you as you admit the truth for the first time.
"I caused the accident! I'm the reason my mom's...she's..."
Jungkook wraps his arm around your shoulder, voice soothing. "What are you talking about?"
"The night of the accident she got a call from some big buck director. She was cast in this huge movie. Her big break." You're speaking to fast, but Jungkook nods to tell you he's listening.
"So she told Taehyung and I we were leaving for New York that night. And we were packing our bags before my dad got home and...and I said I wasn't coming. I didn't wanna leave Ocean City behind."
"I kicked and cried and said I didn't want to go, so her and Taehyung took off by themselves and that's when they got into the crash. She was upset and going too fast. It was all because of me." You start to sob. You've never admitted this to anyone before. Not even yourself. It tears your heart in two to say it out loud. "I'm the reason Taehyung's broken."
"You can't think like that." Jungkook clasps your face in his hands, thumb wiping away a stray tear. He looks scared, but his voice stays calm and convincing. "What happened was an accident. You were a kid. None of this is your fault."
"That's why Taehyung must hate me so much." You choke. "I'm doing what mom always wanted to, but she never had the chance because of me."
"Y/N?" A crew member steps into the room awkwardly with a cough. "I'm sorry to interrupt but the show is about to start. The audience is getting restless."
"Go. I'll take care of Taehyung, okay?" Jungkook pulls you to your feet, engulfing you in a final hug before he pushes you towards the stage entrance at the small of your back. "You're needed out there. Show them what you're made of."
Your eyes widen. This can't be happening. Not now.
"I...I can't."
"You can." Jungkook grabs your face and captures your lips, hard. It tastes salty with tears. "You're my star remember?"
"I love you." You whisper when you pull back, fingers reaching for him weakly as a costume designer hurries you towards the door.
"I love you too." Jungkook calls. His smile is the last thing you see before the door slams shut and there's no going back. "Now go break a leg, pretty!"
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Particles of dust float in and out of your vision beneath the blinding stage lights.
Everything feels different from side stage. Your heart races as you press your ear to the velvet curtain separating you from the world, listening to the hubbub of laughing children and chattering adults filtering into the theatre. You imagine them taking their seats, buying icecream from the vendors, alive with anticipation.
The lights dim. You hear the director behind you, shouting something about places please! but it's like you're underwater, limbs weighted as you move like a ghost to your position for the opening number.
Your palms are clammy and you wipe them on your dress.
Show starting in 5...
Your legs turn to jelly. You close your eyes and try to calm your racing thoughts.
4...
Taehyung. Is he okay? Why didn't he come tonight?
3...
Shit! What was your opening line again? Goddamnit, Y/N, think!
2...
Mom. Would she be proud?
1...
You open your eyes.
The curtain is gone, and a pair of hands pushes you out into the harsh white spotlight. You shield your eyes with your fingers, heart dropping when you look up and find hundreds of eyes staring. Staring right at you.
It's like you're on the edge of a cliff, about to dive into the cool water below. Or fall.
Everything starts to blur. You're a teenager again, stood on the stage at the Crestmont. Panic rises like bile in your throat, and you don't know whether to scream or to run.
Run. Run. Run.
Your mouth opens, then closes. There's an awkward cough from the audience. Words run your mind in circles, but none of them are right, and before they can reach your lips they evaporate on your tongue.
Your panicked eyes roam the sea of seats that zoom in and out of focus. Your knees buckle, and you're sure you are going to pass out right here in front of everyone, but then your eyes meet a familiar pair of brown ones that makes the room stop spinning for a moment.
Jungkook. He's smiling at you, fingers crossed in his lap. There's not a trace of nerves in his gaze as he nods for you to go ahead.
I believe in you.
Just then the door to the theatre flies open and every head in the audience turns towards the darkly clothed figure shuffling through the aisles, mumbling sorry's and excuse me's until he reaches the empty seat beside your boyfriend.
He lets down his hood, shakes free a head of blonde hair that's still damp from the rain. He's out of breath, like he ran here.
Taehyung.
Your brother looks up at you, frozen in place, and his eyes soften. He flashes you a thumbs up and his lips curl around the four words you needed to hear.
You can do this.
And just like that, the panic disappears. The words come flooding back, and your body flies into action, moving across the stage
You forget all about the fear, and the anxiety, and Taehyung and the Crestmont. For now it's just you and the stage, together in harmony.
And you've never felt more alive than when you take your final bow and the crowd roars to life, just like you always imagined it would.
Your jaw hurts from smiling, and before you know it you're crying. Because when you squint against the theatre lights, you see Taehyung and Jungkook in the front row, holding each other and shouting your name.
Y/N! Y/N! Y/N!
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"Hey! Be careful!"
The bouquet of congratulatory geraniums cradled in your arms gets crushed between your body and your brother's. He practically tackled you as soon as you entered the dressing room, carried on the cheering shoulders of the other cast and crew members.
"Holy shit." Taehyung holds you at arms length. His eyes are ringed red around the edges. "You were amazing, Y/N."
"You really think so?" Tears start to well and you're so happy to see him that you throw your arms around his waist. "I'm so glad you came, Tae."
"Yeah. You were just like her." He smiles. "Just like mom."
You share a small, sad smile. You've heard those words all your life but it feels different when it comes from Taehyung.
Jungkook pops his head into the room. He catches your eye over Taehyung's shoulder, and flashes you a small smile when he sees you cradling him in your arms.
Talk to him. He mouths, and you're suddenly reminded of why Taehyung came here in the first place.
"Hey listen—"
"Taehyung—"
You both start to talk, bursting into easy laughter when the other stops, seemingly hit with the same idea at the same time.
"You go first." You smile, encouragingly.
"Okay." He pulls you over to the couch. "I'm just...I'm sorry for storming out last night. I shouldn't have come here and expected you to help me—"
"No, stop. I'm sorry." You place a hand over his. "I want to help." You hold an arm out to Jungkook, who crosses the room and slides his hand into yours. "We want to help. We want to save the Crestmont."
Taehyung's eyes bulge. His voice drops to a whisper. "Really?"
"You were right. The Crestmont was mom's place."
You think about how it felt to be out there on the stage, in front of a crowd cheering your name. The excitement, the exhilaration. Your first stage.
The Crestmont is your mom's first stage. It's where she felt those same emotions for the first time. You can't let it be demolished. Not for anything.
"She deserves a legacy. We can't let them tear it down. I don't know how yet, but we'll save it."
"Thank you." A tear streaks his cheek, and his arms pull you and Jungkook into a tight bear hug.
"Thank you. For showing me what really matters, Tae." You whisper. "Let's do this together, okay?"
"For mom."
Taehyung holds out his pinky finger, and you link yours with his.
"For mom."
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Where things go wrong.
Six months later.
Every second that passes is marked by a deafening tick from the kitchen clock.
Jungkook was supposed to be home 10 minutes ago. You're sat alone at the dinner table, a carefully presented meal for two spread across your mom's old polka dot table cloth. You even lit candles.
With a sigh you drop your chin into your hand, absentmindedly pushing your spaghetti around the dish while your eyes remain trained to the front door that will open any moment.
To be honest, it's been months since you and Jungkook shared a meal together. He spends most of his nights in his office, hunched over his laptop staring at the blinking cursor on some script he'll never finish. And ever since Jungkook's big script got rejected and he fell into a slump of no work, he had to get a job at a local convenience store all day for some spare cash to get you through the month.
You know he hates it. He hates the rude customers and how he can never shower the smell of grease out of his hair.
You know the bickering that turned into arguing that turned into fighting was just a result of his restless aggravation at being shot down too many times. Of watching his dream slip right through his fingers.
But you haven't exactly been as understanding as you should have been. You're overworked too, with the play, and The Crestmont, and you hate how easy it was to accept sleeping apart and missing dinner dates.
So you texted him to tell him you were making dinner tonight. A cease fire of sorts, or maybe just a feeble attempt at glueing back together the cracks that have appeared between you recently with pasta sauce and meatballs.
But he's late. Again.
And it makes you wonder whether there was any point in trying.
"Y/N?"
A gravelly voice jolts you out of your thoughts. Keys jangle onto the counter, shoes are slipped from feet and thrown into the storage cupboard with the creaky door.
"I'm in here." Your voice sounds meek, but you straighten and muster up a smile. To show at least one of you is making an effort.
Jungkook appears in the doorway, clad in his ugly traffic cone orange uniform. His shoulders are slumped, bangs limply stuck to his forehead. He looks tired, exhausted.
"What's all this?" He nods disinterestedly towards your untouched homemade buffet before heading to the sink to fix himself a glass of water.
"Dinner." You cough. He stiffens. "Remember?"
"Oh." He scratches the back of his neck. His eyes flash with something close to guilt momentarily, but then he smoothes it out. "Yeah. Dinner."
"It's okay, you're not too late. We can just heat this up in the microwave—"
"I already ate, Y/N." The glass in his hand slams onto the counter a little too loudly. "At the store."
You can't hide the way your face drops.
"Please." You whisper. "For me?"
Jungkook stares at you for a few seconds, unblinking, before he exhales shakily and pulls out the seat opposite you.
"What's on the menu?" He asks, hands already grabbing for the bottle of red wine in the middle of the table without so much as a glance at the food you worked so hard to prepare.
"Pasta."
"Right."
An uncomfortable silence settles. Jungkook nibbles at a meatball, and you suddenly feel too sick to the stomach to keep anything down.
You jump when Jungkook's fork clatters to the table. He wipes pasta sauce from the corners of his mouth with a napkin and you're sure you can see a slight tremor in his grasp.
"There's something I need to tell you."
His words ring out into the deafening silence that shrouds the apartment. You train your eyes to the candle in the middle of the table that flickers back and forth and carefully place down your own cutlery.
"Should I be worried?"
"No...I mean, I don't know. Maybe." Jungkook waves his hands around and when his eyes meet yours they're distant. Like the table that separates you spans oceans. "Just promise not to freak out."
"I'm not promising anything. Why are you looking at me like that?"
He shifts and the cheap flat pack dining chairs you bought when you moved in creak like they always do. "I...I got a movie deal. They loved the script I told them I've been working on and they want me to direct it."
Your heart fills with something sweet; pride. Even despite your downs recently this is still incredible news. You knew your boyfriend should be ecstatic...so why is he staring intently at the table cloth like it killed his whole family? "That's awesome, Kook. So what's the problem?"
"I gave them a different script."
Something shifts in the air. You hold your breath.
"Huh?"
"The script. The one you told me to burn before we came to New York. The one about you...your life."
Your blood runs cold and it's like your frozen. Just searching through the never ending blackness behind Jungkook's eyes that fails to falter, no matter how hard you pinch your inner thigh and hope you're about to wake up from a bad dream.
"You wouldn't." Your voice sounds strained and Jungkook doesn't even flinch. "You...I don't believe you."
"I'm sorry." He runs an exasperated hand through his hair. "It's just that they hated the first one and I wanted this deal so bad. It's a once in a lifetime chance Y/N, don't you see?"
The boy staring back at you isn't the sweet and sensitive Jungkook from Ocean City or the strong and passionate man from New York. His words get all mixed up in your head as you repeat them over and over and it's as if you don't even know him at all. All you can feel now is betrayal. And just like that all the anger that has been building inside you for months explodes.
"So my life is just a fucking plot for one of your indie movies, Jungkook?"
"It's always your life isn't it? Never mine." He slams his hands on the table hard enough to make your insides shake. "Ever since we came to New York I've supported you, sat back and watched as you achieved all your dreams. And it hurts, Y/N. To come home from my dead end job, and write another goddamn script that nobody wants to even read."
"I came to New York because of you!" You don't even realise you're crying until you taste the hot salty tears that won't seem to stop. "I came here so you could make it big! You're the one who encouraged me to audition for the play in the first place!"
"God, are you really that naive? Don't you see? I came to New York because I saw how much it meant to you." Jungkook lowers his voice, and there's something in his words that makes your heart twist. Pain. His eyes look watery and you long to reach out for him. Like the skin on skin contact will somehow make all of this okay. "And not once have you ever considered how it might feel for me to sit back in your shadow."
"So that's what this is? Jealousy?" You shake your head and get up from the table and turn to leave, but Jungkook grasps your wrist.
"Why can't you be happy for me?"
"I am happy for you Jungkook. And I always will be." Your heart softens and you're reminded of the boyfriend you know. The boyfriend you love. You want to believe he's in there somewhere so you place your hand over his, and for a second he looks hopeful. "But this was never your story to tell. That's what hurts."
He drops your arm, gaze cold and distant. "Then I guess that's it then."
"What?"
The room starts to spin.
"If you can't accept my decision to go ahead with the project then I guess we can't do this anymore."
"This?" You whisper.
"Us."
"Jungkook...Are you saying we're over?"
He drops his head into his hands and lets out a sigh. "Maybe. I don't know."
"You don't know?" You chuckle but it's hollow, empty. "You don't know if you love me any more?"
Jungkook's face drops and he lurches towards you, but you step back.
"No, shit Y/N I didn't mean it like that!" He looks scared. "I was just angry and it slipped out."
"Don't." His arms reach for you again but the brush of his fingertips feels scalding hot, wrong. "Don't fucking touch me."
"I'm sorry..."
"Don't lie to me Jungkook." Your vision is blurred with tears as you rip open the closet and yank out a suitcase. "You're not sorry. I was never your muse. I was just a stepping stool to the top."
"Where are you going?" Jungkook's crying now too. It comes out as a sob.
"Home." You say as you rip open your shared closet door and start throwing your things into the case. "I'm going home. Where I belong."
"I can't lose you like this. Please." He reaches for your wrist again but you're already half way to the door.
"Too late." You say. "I'm going home. And I'm never coming back."
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The familiar scent of burned popcorn and candyfloss soothes you as you creep through the backdoor of the Crestmont. It always had a broken hinge which opened just enough for a body to squeeze through. Seems not a lot has changed since you left Ocean City.
It's dark inside. Silent too, without the popcorn machine running and the movie trailers playing on LED screens. You don't know what you expected. It's gone midnight by the time you get back to Ocean City, but you don't want to go home just yet.
Comfort washes over you as you run your fingers over the gilded edges of the counter, and slip beneath the hatch on auto pilot. It feels strange to be back here without the starched shirt and bow tie you used to hate. You've swapped out worn sneakers for heels that click against the tiles and you've performed on stages for crowd's bigger than the Crestmont's but here and now, you feel like yourself. Even though everything in your life has changed, you're still the same small town girl underneath it all.
Without thinking your legs carry you to the wall of fame. The faces smile up at you, like they're saying welcome back.
"Hey mom," You whisper, stopping momentarily in front of her portrait. You stared at it for so long as a kid that you have every detail committed to memory but seeing it up this close makes your breath hitch. "It's me."
With a sigh you force yourself past into the hall. Your hands tremble as you push open the door to the theatre. It's just how you remember it, sparkling gold and red velvet and mystery. But there's yellow tape strung up across all the seats and a sign has been propped up on the stage, red glaring letters burning a hole in your heart as you read them.
DANGER. DUE FOR DEMOLISHMENT. STAY AWAY.
All you can do is let your legs buckle, back sliding down the wall as you hug your knees to your chest and let out a throaty sob that echoes from the high ceiling.
When did everything go so wrong? You must be cursed. Everything you touch gets destroyed.
"Y/N?"
The lights flicker on, bathing the room in a soft golden glow. You wipe your tears, but that doesn't stop them from coming.
"Over here."
Your voice is small but a few seconds later Taehyung's face appears from behind one of the velvet seats. His eyes soften when he sees you curled up in the corner.
"What are you doing down here?" He clambers over the seat to join you, his long legs folded awkwardly in the small space.
"Having a one man party." You snort and point to your tear stained cheeks.
"Are you okay?" His hand covers yours and the contact makes you jump.
"Yes..." You sniff. He raises a brow. "No. Jungkook broke up with me."
Taehyung chokes. "What?!"
"I mean, we fought and then he...he said we were over." Your heart stabs painfully but you shrug. "So I came here. Didn't know where else to go."
He places an encouraging hand on your shoulder. "Listen...I know I haven't always been there for you when I should've. Hell, you always took care of me and I never even asked how you were doing." He offers a small smile. "But I'm here now. And you can tell me anything. If...if you want to."
A few seconds tick by in silence. You try to form a sentence but everything just comes back to the same three words.
"I miss mom." You blurt.
It echoes through the theatre, and you can practically hear the mermaids and the cupids painted on the ceiling gasp. It surprises you too, the combination of grief and relief that washes over you at finally admitting it.
"I know." Taehyung pulls you into his chest, lips whispering against your hair as you let out a sob and it's like all the sadness and denial is rushing out of you like a faucet, filling the whole room up like a water tank. You're terrified of the moment it gets too full, and you stop being able to breathe. "But you're a lot like her, y'know."
"That's exactly the problem!" Your words come out as a yell and it makes you both jump. "Everyone always says I look like her, I talk like her, I act like her. And I hated it for the longest time because I hated her for leaving us!"
"But without even realising it I became her, Tae. I did what I always said I wouldn't and became selfish. I hurt you, and Jungkook and even the Crestmont."
"That's not true."
"It is! And the worst part is I don't even hate her any more. I need her. To hold me, and tell me it's going to be alright. But she isn't here!"
"What does this have to do with Jungkook?"
"Jungkook wrote a script. A long time ago. About mom. And you and I. And everything that happened." You swallow, Taehyung's eyebrow raises though he doesn't look at all surprised by this information, nor as horrified as you that a record of your bleak shortcomings exists for anyone to read. "He got a movie deal. That's why we fought."
Taehyung hums. "You don't want him to make the movie?"
"It's not that I...I want to be happy for him. But I can't." You choke. "It's too painful. Remembering."
Accepting.
"When I said you were a lot like mom, I meant that you are headstrong." Taehyung pauses. "I felt that way once too. Like I hated mom and the goddamn world for taking her too soon. But in the end, the only person I hated was myself. Like however hard I tried I could never get over her, and all the pain I was pushing down into a dark place kept taunting me through the nightmares." He shivers, and you grip his hand tighter. "But one day I realised I don't have to be afraid of that pain any more. That pain is a part of me. But that doesn't mean I have to let it win."
"So what did you do?"
"I let myself feel it . I faced it. The only way I could let mom go was to stop running away." He pats your shoulder. "You need to set the girl in that script free, so you can move on."
And just like that, you're swimming...up, up, up, until you reach the surface of the water tank and you can take a heaving breath for the first time.
You throw your arms around his neck. It feels weird to hug him like this, but it's nice. "I missed you, Tae. Thank you.”
"I didn't do anything." He says. "The strength is inside you, you just need to find it. Just like you need to stop holding on to the past and let the new you shine for once."
You shake your head. "I need to talk to Jungkook. I don't know why I stormed off like that and..." You trail off. "Wait, how did you know I was here?"
Taehyung grins. "I didn't. I got called in to sort some paperwork and I noticed the back door ajar. Good thing it was you and not some crazy with a baseball bat, right?"
"At this time?" You nod to his still pyjama clad state. "Is it important?"
"Y/N," He laughs lightly. There's excitement shining in his eyes. "Someone just bought the Crestmont."
You scramble to your knees. "What?"
"We're staying open, and I get to keep my job."
And then you're hugging again, and laughing and crying because the Crestmont is going to be okay. You're going to be okay.
"That's incredible, Tae! Who is it? Who bought the Crestmont?"
"I don't know, it was an anonymous transaction. But the guy said he would be here...." He glances at his wrist watch, and as he does, the door creaks open. "Around now."
"Hello? Anyone here?" A familiar voice calls out.
"Jungkook?" Both of your jaws drop as you poke up from behind the seats. Sure enough your heart flutters when you see him, all wind swept and out of breath like he ran here.
"I thought you might be here." He scratches the back of his neck awkwardly. "Can we talk?"
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The car ride to the pier was mostly silent. Jungkook borrowed his dad's old beat up truck -- it was that or his old bike with the pegs on the back -- and it still smelled like leather and petrol like it used to.
Everything about Ocean City is the same as you remember it. The pier stands strong atop the rocky sand, sea air deliciously fresh as it fills your lungs. The rolling waves shimmer like gold dust below the wisps of pink clouds that greet the rising sun. The beach is a peaceful view at this time. No tourists, all of yesterdays sandcastles swallowed by the sea spray. It took a couple hours to work through the paperwork so by now it's early morning — 5:30am according to your phone lockscreen.
It's chilly, and your skin is covered with goose bumps even despite Jungkook's suede jacket wrapped loosely around your shoulders. But you don't mind.
You've missed this. You've missed Ocean City.
"No ice cream, I'm afraid." The breeze ruffles Jungkook's hair as he emerges from the fairground and settles beside you with his legs poking through the rails. He flashes you an apologetic smile. "I guess the parlour doesn't open until 9..."
You feel a pang in your chest. Being here is like a serious case of deja vu. Countless hours spent in this very spot, eating vanilla scoops with rainbow sprinkles beside Jungkook used to be so normal. When did you grow so far apart that you're surprised he even remembers?
"Jungkook..." You swallow hard when you meet his eyes, hands longing to reach out and stroke the stream of sunrise on his cheek that makes his dark eyes sparkle. "We...we need to talk. About everything."
There's a moment of silence filled only by the calls of seagulls greeting the morning before he speaks. "I sold the script."
He sounds nervous. Like he's not quite sure what your reaction will be.
You swallow. "And you used the money to buy the Crestmont?"
"Yeah." He says matter of factly, scratching a phantom itch at his nape. "I guess I did."
"Why?" Your voice is small.
"I can't loose you, Y/N." He murmurs. "Just like you can't loose your mom. The Crestmont was her everything. But you are mine. And loosing the Crestmont would be loosing a piece of you, and I couldn't stand that."
The breeze ruffles his hair as he reaches for your hand and links your fingers and squeezes hard. You don't make any move to stop him. You know what it means, so you squeeze back and return the sentiment. I'm sorry.
Before you can stop yourself you lurch forward, arms curling around his neck and it's like coming home. His hands pull you flush to his chest, hearts beating in sync and you know everything is going to be okay now.
"Thank you." You whisper against his nape. A tear rolls down your cheek and soaks into his collar and before you know it you're blubbering. "Thank you so much, Kook."
"You aren't mad?" His voice is muffled but you can hear the quirk of his brow.
"Mad? No..no..." You lean back and wipe your eyes with your sleeve. "But what about the movie? And your dream to be a director and--"
Jungkook grabs your shoulders. His own eyes are glassy as he tucks a piece of hair behind your ear.
"That was never what mattered to me, Y/N. Not even a little bit. There's one reason I went to New York and it's the same reason I came back to Ocean City tonight. You."
"But--"
"No but's. As long as we're together, I'm already living my dream." His lips turn up into a smile, his eyes tracing your face like it's the first time and he can't get enough. "And I never ever want to wake up."
You shift in your spot to face him properly for the first time, and emotion hits you like a tidal wave. It's like all of a sudden you realize how stupid you've been; to fight with the man before you, a man who only knows kindness, about the trivial when the things that mattered the most were always right here, in front of you. The things that mattered most were always in Ocean City.
You brace your hands on his shoulders and lean up so your lips are inches apart. His eyes fall shut naturally, and you can't help but laugh with what you can only describe as one thing: happiness.
"I love you." You whisper against his lips. A warm palm cups your jaw and closes the distance between them and you're almost too lost in the way Jungkook's kiss takes your breath away to hear his response.
"I love you too."
"Sooo..." You bite your lip with a coy smile when Jungkook pulls away, the blush upon his cheeks scarlet beneath the sun which is rapidly rising. "I take it we're no longer broken up?"
"Well duh," He swats you playfully. "You think I'd do all this just to dump your ass?"
"Hey!" You pout. "I dumped your ass."
Jungkook shakes his head with a laugh.
"Besides," He glances out over the horizon nonchalantly and shrugs. "I'm gonna need help if I'm gonna start my own film company and run the Crestmont."
Your jaw drops. "A what now?"
"A film company." He explains. "A different type of film company, right here in Ocean City. For the outcasts like me who have a vision that even the biggest names in New York can't see yet." He smiles, so big and bright it makes your heart leap. "I'm gonna show them, Y/N. And everything I need to do it is right here in Ocean City."
"I know you will. I never doubted you for a second." You take his hand and link your fingers, squeezing hard. "And you bet your ass I'll be front row to watch each and every one, Jeon Jungkook."
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Epilogue.
"Just keep your eyes shut!"
"I already know where we're going, so why can't I look?" You laugh, attempting and failing to tug Jungkook's interlocked fingers away from your eyes.
"Shush, it's a surprise! Just roll with it."
A surprise. That's what Jungkook said earlier too when he woke you up at the crack of dawn by throwing a dress at your head and telling you to meet him outside in the truck in 10 minutes or else.
By the time you pulled up into the familiar parking lot of your not-so-mysterious destination, the sky was already aflame with the glow of morning skimming the horizon, and Jungkook practically leapt out of the truck, palms unusually sweaty as he grasped your hand and pulled you towards the path quicker than your feet could carry you.
"What's the hurry, Kook?" You get out between heavy breaths, quads burning as the path gets steeper beneath your feet.
Come to think of it, your boyfriend has been acting strangely all week. Like hiding things behind his back when you walk into a room or talking in hushed whispers on the phone to Taehyung when he thought you were sleeping.
"You'll see." The path levels out and you stop. Jungkook wraps his arms around your waist, chin tucked into the cleft of your shoulder like a perfect puzzle piece. "Okay. Now you can look."
You round the corner, heart racing when your eyes flutter open and your vision is filled with a sea of yellow flowers. Your place.
The meadow is just how you left it, tall grass and sunny blooms dancing beneath the rays of morning sun peeking out from between the clouds. A warmth spreads through your chest and you both laugh when Gureum lets out an excited yelp, before bounding off between the stems playfully.
"I think the little guy wants us to follow him." Jungkook raises a brow and throws you a knowing shrug.
Excitement flutters in your stomach like a butterfly trapped between cupped palms. "How could I refuse?"
Fingers interlinked, you part the sunflowers and jog after the ball off fluff bouncing across the meadow, the breeze cool and forgiving as it ruffles the strands of hair that billow behind you.
Eventually you reach the clearing, and Gureum wags his tail at you proudly when you stoop down to scratch him behind his ears.
The sun reflects in Jungkook's eyes, turning them a warm golden brown. "Turn around."
You spin on your heels with a questioning glance. "Why?" That's when you see it. The spot where everything began. The tree where Jungkook kissed you all those years ago has bloomed with fragrant blossoms, and twinkle lights glow like tiny stars around it's branches. A blanket is laid out in the sun flecked shade beneath it, littered with feather cushions and lanterns and a trail of sunflower petals that begin at your feet.
"You did this?" You take his chin in your palms, face beaming despite the tears that have started to blur your vision. "Oh, Kook."
"Surprise." He smiles knowingly, grabbing you from behind and spinning you round and round until you both land with a soft thump in the middle of the outdoor cushion fort. "You haven't even seen the best part yet." He says with a nod to his right.
It's then that you notice the white sheet that's strung up a couple meters away between the trunks of two trees, Jungkook's vintage projector set up in front of it.
"What is this?" You ask, bewilderment evident in your voice.
"Gureum, would you do the honours?" Jungkook chuckles, extending a finger to point at a remote that your puppy obediently picks up with his teeth and drops into your lap with a wag of his tail.
Jungkook tucks a piece of hair behind your ear and takes a deep breath, like he's been waiting for this moment for a long time. "Go ahead. Press play and find out."
Your head shakes fondly, but your fingers tremble with anticipation as they find the PLAY button. You press it and the projector starts turning, a light flicking on at the top that makes a grainy image appear on the sheet.
The first scene is you. A teenager, dancing through the sunflower field, laughter spilling from your lips. The first time you hung out. And then it switches. You, again. Cleaning up a spill at the Crestmont, unaware of the camera. You. Paint in your hair as Jungkook chases you around the apartment in New York. You. Tears in your eyes as you hold baby Gureum for the first time. You. Asleep on Jungkook's shoulder on the subway, the camera panning to his face which lights up in a big grin, lips mouthing three words.
I love you.
Tears are hot on your cheeks, laughing as you remember the good moments and the bad, the funny and the sad, all immortalized forever through Jungkook's eyes.
The film fades out, and you throw your arms around your boyfriends neck. He chuckles when you tackle him to the ground, throwing a leg over his lap so that you can lean down and capture his lips between yours in a kiss that says all the words you want to say but you don't know how to. I love you too.
"I take it you liked it, then?" Jungkook says coyly, thumb stroking your cheek.
"It was beautiful Jungkook." You place your hand over his. "Now I know why you're always goddamn filming me."
"What can I say? You're my muse."
"Shut up." You punch him playfully. "You're gonna make me blush."
It's Jungkook's cheeks that flush pink. "Actually..." He starts to sit up, fumbling around in his back pocket. "There's something else."
"Oh?"
He clears his throat. "The first time we came to this place I knew I loved you. Back then, I said I wanted to show you what I found most beautiful. And it was you. It's always been you." He takes your hand, grip tight. "When we met we were just kids with big dreams. We might be older now but heck -- I still don't know what I'm doing. All I know is dreams come and go but you never left. You always stayed by my side. Which is why I want to promise you something."
"What, Kook?" You manage to whisper. Your heart is beating a million miles a minute in your ears. Is this what you think it is?
Jungkook swallows hard, eyes boring into yours.
"That I'll go wherever you go. New York, across oceans, up mountains -- you name it. As long as we're together, everything will be okay. So that's why I wanted to ask..." His fingers tremble as he produces a tiny black box, flicking it open to reveal a ring that sparkles see through in the sun. "Y/N, will you marry me?"
"Oh Jungkook," You throw your arms around his neck, overcome with emotion now as you capture his lips with your own. "Of course I'll marry you. You didn't even have to ask."
He lets out a sigh of relief, and then he's spinning you around in circles until you're both dizzy with love and belly laughter.
"I love you." He whispers, eyes shiny. His hand gently grasps your wrist as he slides the ring onto your finger.
You've heard him say it a hundred times before, but this time it's different. This time it's forever. Your heart flutters.
"I love you too, Kook."
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Where there are new beginnings
Ocean City is the same as it always was.
You wake up each morning to the distant crash or waves, and you fall asleep each night to the tinkling fairground music that makes your heart sing. Tourists come and go, flooding the casinos and eating churros on the beach.
The Crestmont is doing better than ever. Once Taehyung took over as owner, the theatre became the heart of the city, attracting visitors from near and far to see the renowned plays directed by none other than Jeon Jungkook, the most sought after playwright and filmographer in all of the East Coast.
And then there's you. Ever since you starred in one of Jungkook's plays, about a girl from a seaside city moving to New York with big dreams, there's been no shortage of movie deals and acting opportunities thrown your way.
But in the end, you always find yourself coming back to Ocean City.
Tonight the Crestmont reopens for business after some much needed renovations. Taehyung is throwing a party, and there will be plenty of big Hollywood faces attending to see the brand new theatre and the updated __.
But one thing will always remain the same. The picture of your mom hung in the gallery. Her big smile is the heart of the Crestmont, greeting each and every visitor with pride.
And in the empty frame at the end of the wall of fame, there's a new picture.
You. Smiling, with your hair over one shoulder, just how you imagined. And beside you is Jungkook, with his arm wrapped around your waist and Taehyung holding Gureum and making a silly peace sign behind your head.
And you wouldn't have it any other way.
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Okay so hi if you’re still here!! I decided to put this at the end because I didn’t wanna spoil the ending so please send love to @brekkiejeon​ !! They sent me the request for the ending of this fic all the way back in January and i’m trash and took like 7 months to finish writing it so i hope you enjoyed it even so lovely !!! <3 thank you for the request and sorry for the wait, this one really got me creative lol! 
Also I’d like to dedicate the smut in this fic to @atastefulwonderland​ because I know you love some good ole JK loving!! Hehe, ily~~
Also lemme know if this was bad because I never usually give OC so much backstory because I want it to be as relatable to the reader as poss obvi but these characters wrote themselves lmao like i’m just the writer i had no control okay???? I just do what these mfkers say. LOL.
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kaistarus · 4 years
Text
The Nishinoya Family’s Chaos
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Pairing: Nishinoya X Reader
Words: 2.6K
Summary: You’re spending time at Noya’s house and all of his sisters are home for the holidays. Noya can’t seem to catch a break, but you’re easily amused by his family’s chaos.
Notes: Apparently Noya has 3 older sisters? As someone with 3 siblings I absolutely could not let this information exist and not write a fic with Noya sibling dynamic. The name and info on his siblings is all made up, as far as I know the only canon is that they exist! :)
Masterlist // Ko-Fi
The first weekend of winter break you and Noya had decided to spend Saturday relaxing and watching movies. Tanaka had given Noya several Netflix recommendations, so with plenty of options you were currently attempting to toss popcorn into Noya’s mouth. You had forgotten what Noya’d selected, but whatever it was had already lost your attention. Noya needed to inform Tanaka his taste in movies sucked.
You snorted as your popcorn kernel missed Noya’s mouth entirely and poked him in the eye.
“Nice catch,” you said sarcastically, closing one eye to aim your next shot.
“Nice throw,” he countered, tossing the dropped piece in his mouth.
“It was a perfect throw. Excellent arc and speed.”
“My reflexes are beyond human comprehension. I would’ve been able to catch a mediocre toss,” he lightly squeezed one of your shins that lay across his lap. “It’s okay. I’m sure you’ll improve with time.”
You grabbed a handful of popcorn and threw them at his face. “I think a few of them went in! You’re right, I am improving.”
Noya picked up some of the pieces on his chest and tossed them back at you with a glare, but you shielded yourself with your arms. You tried to pick up another handful, but he’d already tugged the bowl away from your hands to hold protectively against his chest. What a cheater, you thought, as he mischievously smirked at you.
“Hey, Yuu. Can you do me a fav-Oh, hey (Y/N)!” His eldest sister, Yuki, appeared over the back of the couch making you jump. You had nearly forgotten his sisters had all come home for the holidays.
“Depends.” Noya threw another piece of popcorn at your face while barely acknowledging his sister’s presence. After the piece hit you in the forehead you gave him a small kick to the stomach that he over exaggerated with a groan and an arm slinging over it, letting his tongue hang out the side of his mouth.
What a baby.
“I’m going out to eat with some friends,” she said, smirking at your guys’ display before pushing herself away from the couch. “I started a load of laundry though, so I need you to switch it to the dryer in like half an hour.”
“Why can’t Mina or Sayori do it?” He passed you back the popcorn bowl so he could look over the back of the couch and question Yuki properly. You had only met her a handful of times, but she was absolutely ethereal with her beauty, like, just not fair level attractive. Not that you didn’t find Noya attractive, but what the fuck. How had he lived with that for so long and still have self-esteem?
“Because they’re busy.”
“I’m busy,” he gestured toward the television with his thumb.
“You’re not actually watching it.” She said irritated as you heard a lot of drawers sliding open and closed. “It’ll take three seconds, Yuu. Stop whining.”
“What are you looking for?” Noya leaned onto his crossed arms.
“Dad wants me to take his car because of the snow, but I don’t know where he keeps his keys anymore.”
“Drawer by the fridge.” He said lazily as he flopped back down, picking up your feet to lay them across his lap again.
“Thanks,” You heard the rustling of a coat as she likely prepared herself for the weather outside. “Do you guys want me to pick you something up while I’m out?”
Noya drummed his hands against your legs as he thought before raising a brow toward you, but you lifted your hands while shrugging. You weren’t really hungry at the moment, so you wouldn’t be any help.
“Not sure,” he said without looking back. “Can you text me when you’re heading home?”
“Will do,” she said, and you felt a chill over your skin when she opened the door letting the cold air inside. “See you soon. Thanks again, Yuu. Love you.”
“Yeah yeah, you too.” He said while rolling his eyes. Noya shook the bowl around while he searched for the few edible ones left since throwing pieces around didn’t leave you with much actual food. When he glanced up he raised a brow at your fond smile. “What?”
“I just like seeing you be a younger brother,” you said, poking him in the nose. “It’s cute.”
“Don’t demean me. I’m the farthest thing from cute,” he pouted while grabbing your hand to make you cup his cheek. Yeah, leaning against your hand really helped prove his case. You leisurely rubbed your thumb along his cheek as he rested against the palm he held in place.
“My mistake.” You whispered. Noya’s eyes narrowed at your obviously teasing tone, but when they flickered down to your lips you figured he must’ve decided on giving you a pass. 
“Yuu did you steal my fucking laptop charger again!?”
His hold on the back of your hand tightened slightly as he squeezed his eyes closed. After a long shuddering breath he gave you a quick apologetic smile before leaning back to glare at the ceiling where you heard aggressive stomping.
“No, I don’t have your goddamn charger!” Noya shouted while cupping his mouth. His head fell against the couch when the stomping moved toward the staircase.
“I told you to stay out of my room!”
“Why would I even want to go into that ugly ass mess!?”
“I’m in the middle of a fucking quiz and my laptop is dying.” His other sister, Mina, came stomping into the living space with murder in her eyes. You shrunk into the couch, but Noya just sneered back at her.
“I don’t even have it.”
 “Well it’s not in my room and you always steal my shit.” Mina menacingly marched to stand in front of him with her hands on her hips. “My chargers, my leftovers, my clothes, my-”
“We’ve been over this,” he stood up so they were nose to nose. “If they were your favorite sweatpants you would have taken them to college. They were free game.”
“That’s not how it works!”
“Is too.”
“Is not you fucking shrimp!”
“You’re one inch taller than me!”
“One more inch I can use to kick your ass!” She actually cracked her knuckles before her eyes flickered to you. “Oh my god, (Y/N)? When did you get here?”
“Uh, I’ve been here.” You laughed awkwardly.
“Really?” She furrowed her brow before turning back to Noya and both pinching then twisting his bicep. 
He squeaked. “What the hell?”
“Give. It. Back.”
“I. Don’t. Have. It.” He sneered, ripping her hand off him. They glared at each other for a few seconds before Noya sighed dramatically; leaving down the hall to his room with obnoxiously loud steps and slamming the door closed when he got there. You just shook his head at the childish display.
“So, how’s life?” Mina asked while taking a seat on the coffee table across from you. “Yuu treating you good?”
“Yeah, we’re great. He’s amazing.” You said, glancing down the hall where he was probably cursing up a storm.
“He’s a brat, but he’s a great kid.” She pointed a finger at you sternly. “Don’t tell him I said that.”
“Never.”
Noya came back empty-handed and you glanced back to Mina nervously. “It isn’t in my room.”
“You lost my charger?”
“That’s not what I-” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Are you listening to me? I don’t have it. Maybe you just lost it.”
Her jaw dropped. “So, you lose my charger and then try to blame it on me?”
“I didn’t fucking lose-”
“Hey Yuu. I need your help.” Came the voice from his final sister as Sayori wandered into the living room with her face in her phone.
“Oh my fucking god!” He dragged his hands down his face. “So, when I asked everyone to stay out of the living room did that just go over everyone’s head?”
“Jesus, who put a stick up your ass.” Sayori scoffed.
“The brat’s upset because I found out he lost my charger.”
“I didn’t lose-”
“For your laptop?” Sayori clarified and Mina nodded. “Oh, I borrowed that yesterday. It’s in my room.”
Mina blinked and turned to a fuming Noya. “It appears I may have been mistaken.”
“No shit.”
“I will be going now.”
“And stay away.”
She glared at him, but didn’t say anything as she went back to the stairs. Noya, however, like the bigger man he was, stuck his tongue out at her back as she was leaving. You shook your head again. Mina was double the hothead Noya was, so she was absolutely terrifying when angry. And Noya being as stubborn as he was just loved to walk the line.
Once Mina was gone Noya pushed past his other sister to plop sluggishly onto the couch and lay face first onto your lap, wrapping his arms around your waist. Your smile softened down at him and your hand automatically came up to run your fingers through his hair. It was one of your favorite things to do.
“Hey, (Y/N).”
“Hello,” You felt Noya’s annoyed grumbles against your stomach and you lightly tugged on his hair. He whined and tightened his grip around your stomach.
Sayori sat on Noya’s legs on the opposite side of the couch, making him yelp in pain. He tried kicking her off, but Sayori stubbornly didn’t move until Noya just ended up with his legs on her lap. You smirked at the scene while you just continued to play with Noya’s hair. Sayori was probably your favorite among Noya’s sisters because she had the same chaotic nature.
She also had the same blonde streak of hair and you thought that was really cool because it made them look like twins.
Sayori began poking Noya in the calves repeatedly until he whined dramatically and peeked down at her.
“What.”
“So, I matched with this guy on Tinder and I told him that I really love volleyball, but apparently he used to play it and now I don’t know what to do.”
He gave her a look of disbelief before flipping over on your lap. “Why would you do that?”
“I don’t know. I mean I like watching you play it so it wasn’t a complete lie.” She said as she offered the phone to him.
“Yeah, but you don’t understand it,” he took the device from her hands. You pushed his hair back away from his forehead and fiddled absentmindedly with the blonde strip of hair. Noya began scrolling through something before typing against the screen.
“Okay, well you told (Y/N) that you liked to read,” Sayori rolled her eyes. “I had to research book synopsis while you were texting her and that’s infinitely more pathetic.”
He turned red and kicked Sayori in the stomach. “What the hell? Shut up.”
“Noya, I knew you were lying right away,” you said. “We’re in the same class. You complain about lit class every day.”
“Then why’d you go along with it?” He said, sounding betrayed.
“‘Cause it was funny,” you smirked. “I honestly didn’t know half the books I talked about. I just wanted to see how far you’d go.”
“That’s evil.”
“That’s hilarious,” Sayori added, patting you on the shoulder in approval. “I’m so glad you two worked out.”
“Me too,” you brushed your knuckles along his cheek and he paused to give you a dopey smile.
“Okay, but be mushy somewhere else.” Sayori said, while fake gagging.
“You’re the one invading our space,” he snorted. “This could’ve waited until later, Sayori.”
“What are you even doing?”
“Oh, he’s flirting for me.” Sayori shrugged like it was completely normal.
“And you… want the guy to like you?” You asked, ignoring the half-assed glare Noya sent you.
“He’s actually a great flirt as long as there’s no emotional attachment.”
“Seriously?”
“Stop acting so surprised,” Noya furrowed his brow at you. “I flirted well enough to get you to date me.”
“I guess.” Although if you were being honest you actually fell for how bad he was at flirting with you. You were way more attracted to his awkward attempts to impress you than if he’d been super suave or something.
“This guy’s a loser.” Noya grimaced. “I don’t like the way he’s treating you.”
“Really?” Sayori slid down so she laid beside him on your lap and you lifted your hands awkwardly. He just tilted the screen to her and she tsked. “Man, boys suck.”
Noya nodded in agreement as he handed the phone back to her before she hoisted herself off you.
“So, this is normal then?” You asked.
“Yep, he pulls most of my dates. It’s only when he has crushes that he’s a wreck.” She snorted. “Like, it took three days for him to confidently text you by himself.”
“Don’t tell her that!”
“You were nervous? That’s so cute,” you smashed his cheeks together and Noya furrowed his eyebrows annoyed.
“Isn’t it?” Sayori squeezed his feet and bounced them playfully. “I mean, I had to text you the first day while he paced around panicking and ranting about how cute you were and how he was gonna fuck it up. I’ve never seen him so-”
Noya kicked her in the stomach. “Sayori, leave.”
She rolled her eyes, “After all I do for you…” She got up from the couch and sent a peace sign over her shoulder. “See you guys later.”
“Whatever,” he mumbles under his breath.
“Thank you! I love you!” She screamed from her doorway while Noya reached his hand up to pinch your nose and wave your head around.
“Whatever, love you too!”
You captured the hand on your nose and brought the back of his hand to your lips. “I also love you.” You said softly against his hand.
“I love you, too.” He whispered.
You let yourselves enjoy the first moments of silence together as his eyes drifted closed and you leaned against his hand. The only noise came from Mina’s muffled study playlist drifting through the floorboards as even the television had long fallen quiet-the movie ending a long time ago without either of you noticing.
“I like having you here,” he said, peeking an eye open.
Your eyes softened. “I like being here.”
The washer buzzed and he squeezed his eyes shut while taking a deep breath. He rolled off your lap with a whine, giving you a quick peck on the forehead before he went jogging down the hallway with a promise that he would be right back. You watched after him as he sock slid on the hardwood floor to make a sharp turn and continue running toward their washroom. You couldn’t contain the dopey smile on your lips.
You relaxed back against the couch as your cheeks turned a rosey shade of pink. You stared up at the ceiling fan spinning around and chewed on your bottom lip, mulling over your thoughts.
You really did love being here, being a part of the family chaos. As you heard the dryer start running and a door sliding shut somewhere in the house a nice thrum ran through your heart because… you especially loved being a part of the family chaos with him.
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chil2de · 4 years
Note
How are you today? If its alright with you, can I request a Atsumu x fem reader where she has a super tomboy style and ALWAYS wears baggy clothes, but one day atsumu comes over to hang out and the only outfit she has left is kinda a tight fitting shirt and for the first time ever Atsumu realizes just how curvy his girlfriend is
sorry if thats to specific! feel free to ignorethis!
warning - miya atsumu x reader
hiii! i’m doing okay anonie, thank you and i hope u are faring well!!! so um this ended up being a LOT longer than i expected pls forgive me it was supposed to be a cute lil drabble but now its like uh 2k words aJdhfhhd, i really loved this idea!!! don’t worry ab it being too specific i actually like that and it helps give me a general idea about the req
well whilst this isn’t tooooo nsfw there are a few small themes in the beginning + swearing since i write atsumu like that and implications of sexual content ig at the end but aside from that? just some fluff for our fav king. characters are aged up and i am unsure how it would work but call it anime logic and enjoy! thanks for requesting! (okay rereading the ending is lowkey smut why am i like this)
“b-cup.” atsumu huffed with confidence. he took a large swig out of his water bottle, nodding his head wisely in affirmation.
“really? i’d say c-cup.” suna chimed in, his half-lidded gaze narrowing.
“nah, it’s b-cup”
“what the hell are you two talking about?” osamu interjected, concern and disgust thick on his features as he came over carrying a few towels.
“(y/n)’s bra size” suna nonchalantly responded, his eyes flicking up for a few seconds as he accepted the towel from osamu.
“‘tsumu i knew you were messed in the head but, suna? have you caught his germs?”
“fuck are you making it sound like i have some viral disease?”
“you don’t?” suna snorted, plopping down onto the floor to sit cross-legged.
“why don’t you just ask her?” osamu’s gaze flickered onto yours from across the court. you felt your ears burn from the way the three of them were staring at you.
was something on your face?
a bug? dirt?
“huh? like i’m supposed to say, hey baby girl, what size are your tits?”
“i’m still saying b-cup”
“c-cup”
“i think b-cup” osamu joined in, watching atsumu screw his face at him
“you goddamn hypocrite-“ “who’s being a hypocrite?” kita inquired with a half-hushed tone, making his way over with a few protein bars
“oh my god i’m going home” atsumu groaned, resting his palms on his knees as he stood up. he beelined towards you, his exhaustion painted his lazy smile beautifully. he still had the energy to turn around over his shoulder and flip his middle finger up at his team whilst his right hand snaked around to your waist.
somewhere around your waist. it took him a little bit of digging through all the fabric.
it didn’t matter to him, though. as much of a jackass as he might’ve been, he never judged you for the way you dressed. even if it meant that sometimes you looked a lil bit homeless, at the end of the day- he still had that glimmer in his eyes whenever he saw you.
you would be his favourite baby girl, no matter what.
“is that my shirt you’re wearing?” he hummed, glancing down to look at it.
it was, in fact, one of his shirts. it was matte black in colour, with a small dip that would showcase atsumu’s collar bones. it was a little bit faded from the many wash cycles it endured throughout its lifetime, but he would always notice the small tear in the bottom right section of the fabric.
“sorryyy, i know you just washed it but it smelled so nice. also, wow, did you put on deodorant? you actually smell like a man it’s kinda creepy”
“i always put on deodorant you dipshit, you’re always crying about how pretty my face looks so your nose doesn’t pick up the scent. it’s verbena citrus, buy your own because i know you’ll try stealing mine so i’m putting a padlock on that shit.” atsumu scoffed, digging his fingers into your sides to tickle you as you walked. you squirmed, swatting him away as you dug your hands into the pockets of your joggers. they were not atsumu’s, unfortunately, for you found out the hard way that you would literally have to drag the excess fabric behind you like some train dress or bundle it up and fold it, which, in retrospect- did not look too aesthetically pleasing. you settled for your own joggers and favourite high-top sneakers to match.
“you know you’ll say all this but give me your deodorant anyway, right?” you stuck your tongue out at him. he rolled his eyes, ruffling your hair.
“hey.” he called out, causing you to direct your attention towards him.
he nudged your arm with his elbow.
oh.
“give it here.”
you uncurled your left hand out of your pocket, zipping it up to make sure the contents inside didn’t spill. atsumu slid his right hand away from your waist and opened his palm up, intertwining his fingertips between yours into a tight lock. he grazed his thumb over the back of your hand, giving you a small squeeze.
“that was the cheesiest and most corniest thing you’ve done and i hated it” you made a mock gagging sound, averting your gaze.
you could feel the blush fresh on your cheeks, heart pounding in your chest like it was about to explode.
“wait, you thought i was holding your hand because we’re dating? i’m just doing it because i know your dumbass would get lost” atsumu snorted, throwing his head back in laughter.
well,
you could still see the light blush tinting his cheeks. and it wasn’t the sunset.
“mmm, should i wear this one- wait-“ you grabbed the shirt, folding it upwards as you took a small whiff. well,, you did wear it yesterday… yeah, you did put it in the laundry basket,,, no, it didn’t smell toooo bad, but..
you groaned, tossing it back into said basket as you furrowed your brows in concentration.
you heard the doorbell ring which only caused you to panic even further. you just needed a shirt. literally any shirt. you were about to cut your freaking pants out and sew them together to another pair for a shirt.
since it was a friday, you had atsumu walk you halfway home. you only lived a street away from him, and the apartment was conveniently built on a fork between the road down to his house and the supermarket. hence, he dropped you off and went to the store all by himself like a responsible adult to grab some snacks for the weekend.
“it’s open!” you called out, leaning your jaw back as you shouted in hopes for your voice to travel further.
in that moment, just in the corner of your eye- you saw a familiar flash of black.
you swooped the fabric up, quietly humming in pleasure when it smelled like laundry detergent and fabric softener.
you lifted the shirt over your head, struggling to pull it down for a few seconds.
you admired yourself briefly in the mirror.
it was a casual t-shirt. it reached down to the middle portion of your arms, though it was significantly less baggy than all of your other clothes. you liked to sleep in it during hot and stuffy summer nights, but rarely found yourself using it otherwise.
it’s not like you didn’t like these kinds of shirts.
but when given the option to look “stylish” or comfortable, who wouldn’t pick comfortable? that’s what was important to you above all. clothes that made you feel like you were constantly in bed were a godsend from the heavens.
“hey dipshit, i spent twenty minutes jumping stores for you but no one sold any (favourite drink) so i got you-“ atsumu halted in his steps, the grocery bags curled around his fists were suddenly forgotten and discarded as he caught sight of you through the doorframe.
you were clad in a pair of old white shorts and a black t-shirt, complimentary of the fact that everything else was currently in the laundry machine. atsumu could outline every single damn crevice and dip on you, and he burned that shit so deep into his retinas that he would still see it when his eyes were closed.
he felt his breath hitch, something deep inside him resonating, growing feral like hunger.
he still stood by what he said,
baggy clothes or not, you were beautiful.
but he wasn’t expecting this
“so you bought what?” you inquired, twisting your torso halfway to greet him as you finished brushing through some knots in your hair at the vanity.
“huh?”
“you said there wasn’t any (favourite drink) so you got what? did you fall and crack your head open on the way here? cause it looks like it”
you could feel your heart squeeze, body temperature increased twofold as icy hot waves wracked every inch of your skin. there was a cold sweat that rolled down the back of your knees.
“shut the hell up, i hate you” atsumu grumbled, forcing himself to turn away from you and stomp off to the kitchen with a pout.
“jesus christ give me strength i hate this woman, where the hell does she get off thinking she can get away with looking so good like that” atsumu mumbled incoherent curses underneath his breath, shakily unloading everything he bought out onto the counter and stuffing the groceries into cabinets and the fridge.
“‘samu, i hate you but dude i need twin telepathy, give me strength so i don’t deck this woman right here right now” he cursed, gritting his teeth. his self-control was about to fly out the window.
“you okay?” you popped your head through the door, leaning into the kitchen.
he could see the outline of your prominent collarbones, the way the shirt still fell a little bit and hung loosely off of your frame. he could see the start of your stomach.
god, it should’ve been illegal the way he wanted to grab your thighs. he wondered for a second what it would look like with his fingerprints etched into your skin there.
“want a few tissues and some lotion?” you snorted, nestling up beside him to help. you gazed at him, watching him keep his eyes narrowed on the packet of pistachios he was fumbling with.
you thought it was cute.
“listen- if you’re not ready yet then i’d suggest that you find something else to wear cause holy shit if you don’t get away from me right now i swear i will not restrain myself-“
“i’m ready” you hummed, giving him an innocent smile. you toyed with your hands behind your back, fiddling with them as butterflies swept your abdomen.
atsumu snorted, eyebrows creasing in confusion. he turned to face you, setting the pistachios down.
“alright i’m not saying this to boost my ego, but, what did you say?”
“i said i’m ready”
you watched his brain stir, gears ticking and turning like clockwork.
atsumu let out a low sigh.
“yeah, yeah. well, then.”
his right hand slammed against the wall, caging you in. he leaned into you, looming over you as his half-lidded eyes burned holes inside your soul. you felt the air tense and switch around him, carnal desires swirling behind his gaze. his chest was so close to yours, practically flush, save for the tiniest gap. you could literally feel his heart hammering.
he was so invasive, so close, yet so respectful. he still kept his distance, just n case you changed your mind.
“are you sure this is what you want?” his voice was hot and slick against the shell of your ear, voice husky and octaves deeper. you could feel the sexual tension dripping from him.
you wrapped your arms around his neck, resting your forehead against him.
“i’m sure, ‘tsumu.”
a loud chuckle ripped from the depths of his chest. it was so hearty, and fuck, it made you clench.
atsumu swooped you up all in one swift motion, hands hooking underneath your thighs as he shoved you against the counter. he sent everything clattering and thudding in the process.
“don’t say i didn’t warn you, doll.”
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babymilkawa · 4 years
Text
shenanigan headcanons with:
bakusquad
gn!reader :)
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it’s the weekend and the bakusquad is bored
u guys have compiled a list of things to do in your 2 days of relaxation,,and ur gonna do every single one of them
first thing is that you and mina decided that bakugou, sero, kiri, and denki ALL need a haircut
it’s looking like everyone’s hair in Harry Potter and the goblet of fire
it’s ALSO cuz they lost a bet saying that you couldn’t fit 10 marshmallows in ur mouth,,,and you did
mina was the only one who truly believed in you 😔
so not only do they have to go to the hair salon and sit there for hours, they don’t even get to choose their hairstyle
you get to pick sero and bakugou’s hair
mina picks denki and kiri
so y’all are there and bakugou is grumbling the whole time
“does everyone really need to be here..”
as you and mina sit on the couch and wait, you can hear each boy making conversation with the hairstylist except bakugou
he’s growling and yelling at the poor lady 
“watch where you’re snipping!” “you call yourself a hairstylist?!”
like dude she’s not even done yet
anywaysss smh, you choose an undercut for bakugou cos GODDAMN HE’D LOOK SO GOOD WITH ONE
and you decide to cut off sero’s mullet rip #seromullet2021
mina, however, adds a bit more spice
she’s got kiri dyeing his roots brown and denki,,,she wants him to shave it all but cmon we’re not that mean
instead, denki’s the one who gets a mullet and his bangs are taken away too
when they’re done we’ve got 3 of them coming out of the salon fresh and feeling smug abt they’re new look
except bakugou,,,we already knew that right
he’s complaining but he’s prolly gonna go check himself out in the mirror later
so what’s next on the list?
baby pics!!
yep, there was more to the bet they lost
they all need to bring pictures from when they were little and y'all decide to do this while chilling at a cafe
you offer to buy drinks+dessert cos mina paid for the haircuts 
when y’all are settled, denki pulls his photo album out first
and oh boy, all of u r rly trying ur hardest not to laugh cos was denki ALWAYS THIS DORKY?? 
sure, he was cute as a baby, he had little blonde tuffs of hair and his little black streak of lightning wasn’t there yet
but his pictures from when he started school? boy had the thick frame glasses and even BRACES damn full package huh
when he first got his quirk, he apparently burned his hair a lot and majority of the pictures have his hair all spiky 
u can practically hear the static
bakugou shouldn’t be laughing, he’s up next
so not surprisingly, midoriya is in his pics too which was why he was even more reluctant on doing this punishment
they’re not really interacting in their pictures though, bakugou’s showing something to the camera and midoriya’s looking at him admiringly aww 🥺
when he got his quirk, he started going around in his little all might costume and u can see burn marks on the walls behind him
boy was smug but never grumpy, his eyes were still bright,,,and full of,,life,,,
then we have sero
his house was very decorative
a lot of his pictures are with his family and relatives
then around the time he got his quirk, there are pictures of his friends stuck to the wall or tied because of his tape
and his face is looking at the camera, panicking and on the verge of crying
one of his halloween costumes was a mummy, formed with his tape just wrapped around his body lmaoo
finally we have kiri
so we already know that his hair was black and that it was down before u.a. right
I think he looked the most different out of everyone
baby boy’s eyes were so big that they covered more than half of his squishy face
his pictures were mostly with his friends from school
y’all are flipping towards the end and it’s starting to get more recent
the final picture is one of the 6 of you awww dhfhhfjdhj
so now that ur done looking at the most adorable babies ever,,,u end the day at ur usual hill where the wind blows and the view of the city is best
just imagine sitting up there with the people u enjoy spending time with and it’s so peaceful and all 😌
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a/n: ik I did less Mina but I hope u liked it!!
bnha masterlist
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neonponders · 3 years
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Part 1 of this mafia_au here ~ nurse!Steve and mobster!Billy
• • • • • • •
The only reason Billy got a pair of cuffs on his wrists was because he went to the hospital. Hospitals were required to involve the police when suspicious wounds entered the building.
Now he lay patiently in his cell of the police station. Ironically, the safest place in town. Plus, Hopper did good work. Efficient. Billy knew he wouldn’t have to wait too long -
“Hargrove. You’re up.”
He swiveled his hips so his feet touched the ground, and rocked himself up to standing. The cop placed the handcuffs on his wrists through the sanctioned gap in the bars, and then opened the door. Billy strolled as contently as a handcuffed man could through the sterile, boring hallways between the cells and the interrogation room.
He sat once again in the steel chair, and waited some more.
This was an annoying tactic, making the person wait for a conversation. He supposed it worked on common people and smaller criminals, but Billy simply retreated back into his meditative space, where a full album of music played on loop...
The door opened, and he lifted his gaze to see Steve holding his file and warily looking between Billy and the seat opposite him.
Billy smiled much as he had the first time he woke up to Steve removing his blood transfusion needle. “Hi.”
Steve only sighed as he settled into his chair, and flicked annoyed eyes at him from behind his glasses. Billy liked his glasses. He also liked Steve without them.
“What’s your prescription?”
Steve blinked vacantly up at him. “Huh?”
Billy lifted his cuffed hands onto the table, one of them pointing, “Your glasses.”
Steve stared at him, and then his irises distinctly cut to the side. Billy’s own flicked to his ears, where he could just see an earpiece hiding beneath his hair.
“I probably don’t have to tell you this,” Steve listened to Hopper’s patient drone, “but the fewer questions he asks to you, the better. Don’t let him distract you.”
He swallowed thickly and took out the pictures inside of the file. “Do you know these people?”
Billy cast his attention over the images and knocked two of them back toward the file. “Those two don’t matter. The red-head is a test. To see how honest I’ll be. It’s my stepsister.”
Steve began to tuck the images back into a neat pile, but his gaze lingered on the teenager while he listened to the voice in his ear. Then, “She’s missing.”
“No, she isn’t. She’s at a safe house. And no, they don’t get to know where that is.”
Steve didn’t give that much of a response as he began sifting through the papers - 
“I don’t read quickly!” he shouted at the two-way mirror.
That caught Billy off-guard. But a moment later, he turned his head to laugh into his bicep. He could just picture Hopper harrumphing under his mustache.
“Is that legal?”
Billy perked up. “What? A safe house?” He shrugged. “A person on my property with my permission? Yeah.”
Steve slumped a little to the side. “With their permission?”
He shrugged again. “She gets out of school for a week. She’s thrilled.”
“Is there documentation of this place?”
Billy smiled. “Somewhere.”
A sigh heaved out of Steve as he bowed his head and started rummaging through his hair. Billy couldn’t blame him; a full week of shifts at the hospital and then Hopper probably interrogated him before allowing him to be in the room with Billy. Steve would certainly be at the end of his limits.
“Why? Why why why why,” he lifted his head for his brassy-gold glasses to be hanging low on his nose, “why am I here, Billy? You already know everything that’s in this folder.”
“I wanted to see you,” he said softly. Then he leaned forward and purred, “They handle me roughly here. I think my stitches might’ve tore.”
“Well you’re gonna be screwed in prison, and you’re way too pretty to survive that place - ”
“I wanted to see you. Sue me.”
“What are my chances?”
“Not great. My lawyers are excellent.”
Steve’s eyes squinted dramatically with thought as he pushed his glasses back up and leaned back in his chair. “Hmm...”
Billy wiggled a little as a grin flashed across his face. “You’re still my nurse until my stitches are out.”
Those large doe eyes widened. He gestured around the room. “Whatever this is, is outside of my pay grade and degree. Now how about you walk me through what happened.”
A lingering smile kept Billy’s features warm. Steve had said as much in the hospital, after the doctor stormed out of his private room and probably reported his ass to these people.
“On Wednesday, May 2nd, I got wind that someone was looking too closely at my stepsister. She already has some little nobody for a boyfriend so I knew this was something different. I told her to spend the weekend with him, and don’t go home. Either I pick her up, or she stays put. 
“She listens as well as I do.
“Come Saturday, May 5th, at...” his clear, turquoise eyes sparked off the harsh fluorescent light as he calculated, “7pm, give or take, I’m intervening a simultaneous breaking and entering, assault and battery, and kidnapping/hostage situation. Boyfriend is knocked out on his stoop. House is empty of parents because - well, teenagers.”
Steve tipped his head to that, understanding how teens would manage to be alone in a house together.
“I get my arm shredded and my aorta is almost sliced open, but by all means, hold me in custody instead of going after the other side of this ordeal.”
Steve glanced nervously at the window when Billy raised his voice at it. “Also, the boyfriend is black. I haven’t heard a word about him.” He leaned back with a blatant, derisive scoff. “Pigs believing they’re better than wolves.”
“Saturday?”
Billy’s sharp gaze locked onto him even though his voice matched Steve’s quieter tone. “Saturday.”
“Which would mean you were in the hospital until Tuesday.”
He nodded once. “Discharged at 1pm - ”
Steve’s shoulders hitched when Hopper swept through the door behind him. The nurse looked almost like a teenager next to the bear of a man licking his finger to move through the file pages quickly.
Billy’s feet found Steve’s under the table, pushing them together to frame them in between his own. Steve peered at him, a question in his eyes but Billy waited for Hopper to find what he wanted.
Steve could only lean out of the man’s way as he slammed a hand on the table, shut the file with more force than paper or card stock ever needed, and then marched out of the room. His bellow reverberated down the hallway. “GOD DAMNIT, HE HAS AN ALIBI!”
Billy kept his snicker to a minimum while Steve took his time processing that. “An alibi for what?”
He lifted his hands to scratch his nose. “Something I wasn’t there for, clearly.”
Steve gaped at him and hunched over the table. “But - wha- Your sister? Was that all bullshit?”
“Hopper makes me wait all the time.”
His back hit the chair once again as he shoved his fingers into his hair. “Oh my god, you’re so petty.”
Billy chuckled as a pair of officers came in and ushered them out of the room. Billy was pushed into a chair in the large cubicle room to work through his check-out process. Steve wasn’t far off, stuck at a similar desk doing basically the same thing.
Then all of the phones went off simultaneously. Some of the cops looked around at each other while picking up the receiver...
The room swiftly cleared by two-thirds, but Hopper returned to stand between Billy and Steve’s desks. The latter waited with tired eyes while the former fidgeted with the chain hanging between his wrists.
“Steve...the nurse on your routes was just murdered.”
That...didn’t quite land yet, until Billy mumbled, “You’re welcome.”
Steve’s head whipped around while Hopper scowled. “You’re not going anywhere. Not without a goddamn tracking anklet.”
Billy shook his head once, indifferent. “I have a fine taste for jewelry.”
Hopper couldn’t linger to deal with him, though. He ran out of the room to get to the situation at the hospital.
Steve could only slump back in the itchy upholstery of his chair. Eventually, Billy chimed, “You look good in your hot pink scrubs.”
The nurse’s head slowly turned. “How did you know?”
He found Billy with all of his weight on the arm rest, pointed entirely at Steve until he turned his face away. He gradually reclined back in his chair. “It’s my job to know.”
Steve was so tired. He felt worry for his kids in the hospital, apologetic for the rest of the staff, and just so, so confused...
“I’m just a nurse.”
Whatever Billy took from that, he replied, “You took care of me and made me laugh. I’m easy to please.”
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Max Philips and Werewolf Wife hcs
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@honestlystop @corrupt-fvcker @captainsamwlsn @thesadvampire @humanransome-note @biharryjames @max--phillips​
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Alright so let me start this by saying max philips is a combination of an absolute perfect husband and father but also a goddamn M E N  A C E
He’s loving and attentive, but mf will grope you in public, not to be a dick but because his internal monolouge is like “my wife is so cool and sexy all the time i love her so much” and then he grabs your ass while youre in a whole foods. 
Often times he’ll do that cliche “honey, im home!” bit when he comes home because he KNOWS it annoys the living hell out of you and he’s been doing it since yall got married. 
He is def one of those dads who will take any moment to boast about his kids. Some employees miss when he first started working there because now if you talk about sports he’ll bring up his son’s soccer team and you’ll be stuck there for the next thirty minutes as he shows you pictures of the boys at their last game. 
That obnoxious proud dad. If one of his kids does theatre? He’s whooping and cheering their name and you have to pull him down into his seat with a sharp hiss of “sit the fuck down”
Probably has started fights with the refs at soccer games when they miss a CLEAR foul or is somebody pushes his kid?? and they don't do a goddamn thing?? Vamp dad is shouting at the ref to get their head out of their ass before he does it for them. 
Because of this Max is no longer asked to bring orange slices for the boy’s soccer team. 
You have two kids. Both boys and both elementary school age. (idk their names yet tho) and they are your babies. Pride and joy. Light of your life.
They are also tiny agents of chaos that run you both ragged. 
When it comes to allergies, theirs coincide with being werewolves+vamps. 
Your vampire son is allergic to garlic and your werewolf son is allergic to wolfsbane. Luckily the extent to this allergy is just sneezing and breaking out into hives, not, ya know, death. 
But max still has to race downstairs at three a.m. because he can hear munching and now has to wrestle garlic bread out of his son’s mouth as he has an allergic reaction while still eating it because “WE CAN’T KEEP DOING THIS ALEX” 
Meanwhile you’ll go to the park with your son and see him sneezing with every step while picking wolfsbane because “It’s just so pretty mommy.” 
Safe to say you guys are constantly exhausted.  
Now lets be real here. You're just as fiery and protective of your family if not more and goddamn he does love it. 
He takes off every full moon, drives you and the family up to the cabin where you and your son can shift in peace. He thinks its a great bonding moment for you all. Your son is just barely a pup that trots after you, and more often than not you're just making sure he doesn’t get lost, start playing in mud, or eats trash (he has done this multiple times)
Your son shifts into a lil wolf pup and it’s adorable. 
But at the same time he has that puppy energy so he’s all over the place. Running after rabbits and play biting you, you take it all in stride of course but once he tries to get back to the house covered in mud Max brings out the hose. 
“Does this count as child abuse?”
“I don’t think so, look how much fun he’s having!” *cut to your son jumping and trying to eat the water as mas sprays him down with the hose*
                                 (A few nsfw headcanons as well)
You've got that mama bear strength combined with werewolf strength that max finds insanely hot to the point that anytime you tell off some bitchy mom for making a snooty comment about your kids he has half a mind to find a closet nearby and pull you in for a quickie. 
speaking of strength, the sex? World changing. More often than not yall have to resolve to quick screws in the morning before the kids wake up and he has to go to work. But when the boys are at a sleepover or their grandparents house for the weekend? You might as well warn the neighbors cause they won’t be getting any sleep with ya’ll fucking all night lmao. 
Max doesn’t feel pain much since he’s turned, but with your strength? the feeling of your nails raking down his back just teeters on the edge of painful and he fucking lives for it. 
Any time you visit him at the office? Office sex. He’ll have that look of like barely contained excitement as he asks about your day and shows you off to his employees but he is literally shaking to get you ontop of his desk. 
you take heat suppressants because nobody has time for that shit. But when yall were first dating and you forgot to renew your prescription?? 
Max literally broke like three traffic laws driving to your place. 
You basically called him and said “im in a horny frenzy and im gonna want to fuck you stupid for the next week.”
Homeboy was like “say no more” and left his job with zero explanation to his boss before getting to his car and driving like a mad man
Max is vv touchy. Not always in a sexual way. Sometimes he just wants to lay with his head on your lap or on your chest because he’s naturally cold so he loves feeling close to you cause youre all nice and warm. Sometimes hell just hug you and grab your ass. 
“You having fun there?”
“Shhhh honey im coping with a hard day at work.”
“By holding my ass?”
“It’s a magical ass, what can I say?”
Fang pals. Idk what else to say for that one but yeah. 
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alexshakestheworld · 4 years
Text
Fics Rec
Below are some of my favorite fanfics of all times. Most of them would probably be from AO3 (Archive of Our Own ) but sometimes I scout for fics outside of AO3 as well, if I find something worth reading I would put it here too.
I do read fanfics from multiple fandoms but I would make sure to include a tag so that you can know if there is any fic about your OTP in my list.
❤️Spirk (Star Trek: Spock x Jim Kirk): my favorite pairing of all times, though I prefer the AOS version to the TOS. I have read these fanfics so long ago that I can’t remember the content (so I apologize for the lack of my own comment/review) but if I bookmarked them they must have been good enough lol
Once Upon a Time (A Fairy-Tale Love Story) (by littlebirdtold): 47,461 words/6 chapters
Status: Completed
Rating: Explicit
Summary: In a universe with no Federation, where First COntact never happened, Jim Kirk is your average popular guy. On Christmas Eve, thanks to a series of strange events, Jim finds himself in a parallel universe where the Milky Way is under the control of an alien race and ends up as a servant in the residence of the Royal House of Vulcan. As he starts adapting to his new life, Jim’s curiosity fucks everything up - but hey, Vulcans shouldn’t have told him that he isn’t allowed to enter this wing of the palace; Jim has never been good at following rules. Or, this is the story of how Jim Kirk became a Princess (“Prince Consort, Bones!”) of the United Planets of Vulcan Kingdom.
Honestly, go read every single one of littlebirdtold’s fanfics. He/she/they are incredible and I’m still waiting for his/her/their comeback.
In the Shadows (by scifishipper): 25,202 words/4 chapters
Status: Completed
Rating: Mature
Summary: Accused of treason and stranded on Vulcan, Cadet Jim Kirk is offered a solution to his problems: bond with Ambassador Sarek’s son, someone he has never met. When he finally meets his betrothed at the ceremony, the Vulcan’s face is disfigured by cruel scars. Now, penniless and trapped, Jim finds himself committed to a reclusive stranger with a dark past. Has he sealed his fate forever or is there hope for the two of them to find love?
A sequence that you never learned (by annataylor): 64,624 words/14 chapters
Status: Completed
Rating: Explicit
Summary: When Jim gets it in his head to adopt an eight year old Vulcan, Spock presents a logical solution to the issue of Jim’s humanity: marriage to a Vulcan citizen
Logical Erotics (by EntreNous): 63,458 words/12 chapters
Status: Completed
Rating: Explicit
Summary: Just returned from a difficult space mission and about to begin teaching at Starfleet Academy, Spock chooses a logical way to relieve stress: a sexual encounter with someone he’ll never meet again. But when Spock discovers his partner of one night is Jim Kirk, a promising new cadet at Starfleet he’s torn between his rational decision to avoid intimate relationships and his increasing fascination with Jim. As Spcok’s normally orderly life starts to spin out of control, will his obsession with Jim prove his salvation or his undoing?
The Vulcan Heart (by obsidienne): 110,110 words/15 chapter  
Status: Completed
Rating: Explicit
Summary: Where two halves make a whole...eventually. (Post-STID
I remembered that my friend recommended this fic to me and I was a bit hesitant at that time because I have never read anything this long. But it turned out to be such a great fic that I appreciated his recommendation every day.
Unexpected (by foreverandeveralone): 10,339 words/8 chapters
Status: Completed
Rating: Mature
Summary: Cadet Jim Kirk doesn’t understand why everyone who is not nice to him always has bad consequences. Basically, Jim doesn’t know he is dating the Vulcan version of Sylar, who never forgives anyone who does bad things to his human.
Interesting fic if you love both Star Trek and Heroes.
The Door (by Pouxin): 77,118 words/6 chapters
Status: Completed
Rating: Explicit
Summary: Spock and Jim both have their doors. Jim wants his to be open. Spock wants his to be closed. An alternative STID things. With more literature. And esoteric faffing. And sex.
Kicked From Inside (by Stella_Notecor): 32,246 words/18 chapters
Status: Completed
Rating: Explicit
Summary: Drugged by aliens with an aphrodisiac that impregnates males is NOT how Jim Kirk imagined falling into bed with his first mate. That’s exactly how it happens though, and dealing with the consequences - including an angry girlfriend, a pointy-eared baby, and a chief-medical-officer who’s against the whole thing - will force Jim and Spock together, whether they like it or not.
My Golden Sun/Kin-Kur Las’hark T’nash-Veh (by giddytf2): 123,262 words/30 chapters
Status: Completed
Rating: Explicit
Warning: Mpreg
Summary: When Jim feels thet first gush of slick soaking down the inner seam of his pants, he shuts his eyes and turns his face away from Spock towards the mottled-stone wall of their solitary cell. Spock is staring at him. Spock has no idea what’s just happened, what’s just begun. Spock has no idea that their situation is about to get so much worse. Fuck, Jim thinks, curling up into a ball of bruises and ragged gold, his arms quivering and clutching his bent legs. Fuck my life for being a goddamn Omega.
(Or, a Star Trek: AOS story post-Into Darkness in a universe where both Alpha/Beta/Omega gender dynamics and pon farr exist, with Jim being an Omega going into heat and Spock experiencing his first pon farr while trapped in a cell with Jim. Oh my.
Time of Need (by sunshine (sunshinepiveh)): 33, 669 words/25 chapters
Status: Completed
Rating: Explicit
Summary: Spock’s pon farr comes early due to the destruction of Vulcan. Nyota is unable to cope with the stark brutality she finds as reality hits home. The captain will have to take necessary actions.  
Weekend Lover (by ValiantBarnes (Cimila)): 30,017 words/1 chapter
Status: Completed
Rating: Explicit
Summary: The one night stand Jim Kirk has with the Vulcan passing through Riverside is a welcome break from the monotony. It’s good, very good, but so fucking weird Jim’s sure he’s never gonna forget it. He’s not quite expecting to run into Spock again in san Francisco. A second one night stand turns into a weekend, turns into a lot of weekends, turns into Bones joking that he’s living half his week at Spock’s apartment. But! But, and this is very important: they’re not dating. What also turns out to be important is Spock’s job, which Jim never bothered getting the details of. Starfleet Academy Instructor and cadet?... Less fine.
❤️HotchReid (Criminal Minds: Aaron Hotchner x Spencer Reid): unpopular pairing but they are definitely in my top 5 pairings for sure
Don’t Ever Look Back (by kadeeleigh): 15,848 words/1 chapter
Status: Completed
Rating: Explicit
Summary: While on a case in California, Hotch and Reid’s secret angers Morgan
This fic features a nice amount of case investigation content, an extremely protective and slightly irrational Morgan, and a remarkably sexy and confident Dr. Spencer Reid.
Arranged Marriage (by VincentMeoblinn): 18,196 words/6 chapters
Status: Completed
Rating: Mature
Summary: When Reid decides to leave the BAU due to his painful crush on Hotchner, the man proposes an extreme way to avoid him leaving or them breaking the fraternization rules - by proposing
A marriage-before-romance fic. Slightly unconventional plot and relationship development (but it is fiction after all so no big deal) but generally cute.
Convergence (by Chestnut_NOLA): 33,232 words/10 chapters
Status: Completed
Rating: Explicit
Summary: Dr. Spencer Reid, newest addition to the BAU has been dreaming of art and murder. In denial that his telepathy has returned, Spencer must work with his team and his boss Sentinel Aaron Hotchner to find the Unsub. Will love help Spencer control his gift or will the darkness in his mind destroy not only himself, but Aaron as well?
It is the second and my favorite fic in the Transference series. If you are into the fantasy genre, Sentinel/Guide bond to be specific, I highly recommend this one.  
Healing Touch (by Rivermoon 1970): 21,981 words/1 chapter
Status: Completed
Rating: Explicit
Warning: Sexual Abuse, Emotional Abuse, Mpreg
Summary: Spencer has been watching his Alpha for a while and knows something is wrong. When Aaron collapses during a case the whole team worries. What they find out about his marriage to Haley will shock all of them and when Spencer is asked to help Aaron with his recovery how will their friendship change?
The abuse part is rather brief mentioned than thoroughly described, so do not worry too much (I can’t stand extreme angst). Nice relationship development. If you like Omegaverse, give this fic a try.
Take Me Home, Country Road (by wednesdays___child): 8,698 words/1 chapter
Status: Completed
Rating: Explicit
Summary: Aaron gets a call that his mother is not well. She wants her eldest son to bring home the pretty young doctor he’s been dating. The problem is that Aaron has failed to tell his family that the pretty young doctor is a colleague...and male
A fluff fic at its core. Cute happy ending. My to-go fic when I want to read something short and light before bed.
Lightning Only Strikes Once...Maybe Twice (by Dazeventura6): 16,433 words/1 chapter
Status: Completed
Rating: Explicit
Summary: While on a custodial interview Aaron and Spencer are stuck in a time loop. Can they break it? Or will they be stuck forever?
Set after the Hardwick incident. The content is something that I wish it happened in the series. A much needed fix-it fic.
Mine (by non_andare): 6,115 words/1 chapter
Status: Completed
Rating: Explicit
Summary: Hotch has never noticed Reid before; he’s an inconspicuous Omega who naturally submits and Hotch likes his Omegas to have fire. Then Spencer starts dating another Alpha and all Hotch can think is one word. Mine.
Reid/OC is briefly mentioned but the fic is mainly about Hotch/Reid. Fluff with a bit of angst but eventually happy ending. Jealous Hotch and shy Reid is a nice combo tbh.
Criminal Bonds (by VincentMeoblinn): 26,107 words/13 chapters
Status: Completed
Rating: Explicit
Warning: Implied/Referenced Character Death, Child Death
Summary: Reid was framed for embezzlement a year ago. Hotchner pleaded guilty to several murders. They meet in prison where reid is regularly abused by the stronger inmates until Hotch takes him under his wing
Alternate Universe where Reid is not a part of the BAU. Prison romance. Slight twist at the end but ultimately a happy ending (in my opinion)
Wolf Moon (by Ahmose_Inarus): 117,736 words/34 chapters
Status: Completed
Rating: Explicit
Summary: Alpha Werewolf Aaron Hotchner is far from pleased when Spencer Reid joins the team...The presence of the young werewolf is not welcome...but when Hotch learns that Spencer Reid was raised by a human mother after being abandoned by his werewolf father, he takes him under his wing. And perhaps he has found more than a friend in the younger wolf...But there’s an Alpha Female in the territory who is far from please...she’s had her eyes on Aaron Hotchner for a long time, and won’t let anyone stand in her way
An Omegaverse story. A bit long but worth every minute. The relationship between Hotch and Reid is so cute that it can take my frustration (and anger) against the antagonist away.
The Librarian and the Dad (by DarkJediQueen): 9,039 words/1 chapter
Status: Completed
Rating; Explicit
Summary: It started out as a little crush. Then it became so much more.
Cute. Cute. Super cute. Part 12 of the A Universe of Meetings series, which include multiple Alternate Universe stories. Check out the whole series if you are into Alternate Universe.
Solace (by Lady Angel (dameange)): 4,701 words/1 chapter
Status: Completed
Rating: Explicit
Summary: A Hotchner/Reid rewrite of The Angel Maker episode
Again, a fix-it fic I would like to actually happen.
Dr. Reid and Agent Hotchner (by E_Ng714): 21,013 words/14 chapters
Status: Completed
Rating: Mature
Summary: The BAU has hit a rocky patch, and appears to be falling apart. There is something going on with Hotch, but no one can figure it out. Cruz orders all of them to undergo psychiatric evaluation. Dr. Reid’s presence isn’t welcome by Aaron, at least not at first.
Alternate Universe story. They are both slightly out-of-character but not too annoying. Hate to love. A bit of angst but eventually happy ending.
Forgive Me For All I Could Not Become (by DegrassiFanatic): 105,975 words/20 chapters
Status: Completed
Rating: Teen and Up Audiences (there’s sex scenes though lol)
Summary: In which Reid has always been good at hiding things. He hid his father’s departure and his mother’s illness from social services. He hid his addiction from his team. He hid his sexuality from the world. He hid his inappropriate feelings from his boss. That is until he’s bleeding out in Hotch’s arms, in an abandoned church, in Oklahoma. From there on out, Hotch and Reid learn to make a complete mess out of each other.
Definitely in my top 10 HotchReid fanfics. I didn’t expect much when I started because I usually don’t read over-100k-word-Teen and Up Audiences-fics but this one turned out to be perfect and it literally saved me from a rough week.
A Different Kind of Solitude (by kyrdwyn): 15 chapters
Status: Completed
Rating: NC-17/FRAO (For Adults Only)
Summary: When Aaron and Spencer are trapped together by an unsub, things change between them while the team searches for their lost friends.
It is said “trapped by an unsub” but honestly the situation is not that bad. I tend to think in a positive way that this is a chance for HotchReid to get together. Pretty cute and domestic fic actually.
Home you know (by jetplane): 14,030 words/11 chapters
Status: Completed
Rating: Teen and Up Audiences
Summary: When Reid is diagnosed with cancer, he finds himself relying on Hotch for care and support. But spending so much time together forces each man to confront the feelings he has for the other, and it’s only a matter of time before their friendship evolves into something more.  
Go Home, Omega (by goobzoop)
Status: Completed
Rating: Explicit
Warning: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, mean Hotch
Summary: Pretty much Hotch is bigoted about Omegas and Reid is let on the team cause he’s a genius, which Hotch hates, but then Reid learns to stand up for himself cause he’s super kickass and sweet and deserves the world
Oneiroi and Hephaestus (by Lady Angel (dameange)): 31,231 words/1 chapter
Status: Completed
Rating: Explicit
Summary: What if Reid was one of the Yellow-eyed demon’s special children?
If you like both Supernatural and Criminal Minds, this crossover fic is one to go for.
Come Undone (by EloquentDossier): 77,180 words/22 chapters
Status: Completed
Rating: Explicit
Summary: When Spencer Reid forgot to take his suppressants two mornings in a row, it really shouldn’t have been a big deal. He had them in his bag at the hotel, and as long as he took one that evening, he’d be fine. What he couldn;t have prepared for, however, was the lab the latest victim worked at going into an at least twenty-four-hour-lockdown while he was in it. When Aaron Hotchner was asked to aid his subordinate through what would otherwise be an agonizing heat, he’d had several reservations, one of which had been the consent issue: Omegas couldn’t legally consent to sex during heat unless it was twenty-four hours in advance. With every concern rebutted logically (because of course the Bureau had an Agent Consent form in case of emergencies), he finally agreed. Of all the possible repercussions, however, neither man expected the one they received.
Or that time no one expected the Alpha to accidentally bond to the Omega while the Omega remained unaffected.
Cursed (by Black_Lotus): 60,254 words/20 chapters
Status: Completed
Rating: Explicit
Summary: Centuries ago Vasile Stolojan, the bastard son of Vlad the impaler, was cursed to be a Vampire. Many years later he has a new name, Aaron Hotchner, and a curator job at a prestigious museum in America but the pain he feels for his lost love remains, until he meets the new Docent, Spencer Reid, who looks exactly like his lover. Is it possible that after six hundred years the man he loves has been reincarnated?
I LOVE this fic.
Yours (by NimueOfTheNorth): 17,232 words/6 chapters
Status: Completed
Rating: Explicit
Summary: Spencer knew what he wanted in a relationship, and after years it looked like he found everything he dreamed of in Aaron. Now; if only Aaron’s past experiences and guilt complex wouldn’t get in the way.
❤️Niam (One Direction: Liam Payne x Niall Horan): while everybody is going crazy for Stylinson and Ziam, here I am rooting for Niam lol
Break my fall (by niamcuddles): 147,428 words/15 chapters
Status: Completed
Rating: Mature
Summary: Being a police officer was never an easy job, Liam wouldn’t have imagined that it’d bring someone like Niall into his life and that they could ever grow so close under these circumstances. If they only would’ve known who the guy was that giving them so many sleepless nights.
With Your Love (by brainstorm): 57,448 words/8 chapters
Status: Completed
Rating: Teen and Up Audiences
Summary: Liam’s life was nothing like a normal twenty-two year old guy. Raising a kid on his own was probably the hardest thing he’s ever had to face but he wouldn't change his little boy for the world. He never thought he’d find someone that was good for both him and his son, but that changed fast the day he met his son’s new teacher.
Closer (by niamcuddles): 209,765 words/20 chapters
Status: Completed
Rating: Explicit
Summary: Niall’s pretty sure he doesn’t actually have a real crush on the rick and arrogant guy he’s been attempting to teach how to golf, but there’s something about him that just won’t allow Niall to say no. Not even when he gets made a very unexpected offer.
From the day that I met you (by niamcuddles): 272,394 words/25 chapters
Status: Completed
Rating: Explicit
Summary: Partying and having a good time are probably two of Niall’s favorite things, he just wouldn’t have thought that a night out would end with him getting to know Liam, or that their paths would cross a lot more often than just this once. But somehow they happen to be more helpful to one another than expected.
Like the angel you are (by niamcuddles): 164,367 words/13 chapters
Status: Completed
Rating: Teen and Up Audiences
Summary: To be honest, Niall has already given up on his life ever getting any better, he’s used to being on his own and not being looked after, so maybe not even a way too caring stranger can help change that.
Too Much Too Soon (by brainstorm): 47,353 words/3 chapters
Status: Completed
Rating: Mature
Summary: Niall stands up for himself for the first time ever but things don’t turn out the way he wanted them to and he finds himself struggling between the way he’s always been or the way he wants to be. It’s a matter of time to know who’ll win, his mind or his heart. (sequel to “For You, My Love”)
Like the air I’m breathing (by niamcuddles): 81,307 words/1 chapter
Status: Completed
Rating: Teen and Up Audiences
Summary: Niall is four years younger than Liam and he is sick of being the little brother, that is until Liam suddenly finds a girlfriend and cuts Niall out of his life completely.
Now we are (by niamcuddles): 143,082 words/15 chapters
Status: Completed
Rating: Mature
Summary: Liam’s kind of keeping a busy schedule right now, his whole life seems to basically only consist of work and studying, so what he really can’t need at this time are friends who constantly want to hang out, but above that, 19 year ole uni students who can’t take no as an answer.
For what it’s worth (by niamcuddles): 120,800 words/10 chapters
Status: Completed
Rating: Mature
Summary: Liam has trouble figuring out his life and what he really can’t stand are loud, talkative and clingy people, but he would’ve never thought that getting rid of Niall could be this hard.
Something I need (by niamcuddles): 87,735 words/5 chapters
Status: Completed
Rating: Teen and Up Audiences
Summary: 16 years is a very long time, but Niall still remembers all the things he and Liam have gone through together
❤️Gramander (Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them: Original Percival Graves x Newt Scamander): I honestly don’t remember how I stumbled into this couple fandom but they do have several great fics. For some reason I only bookmark this one though.
Here We Are (by Miss_Lv): 22,177 words/1 chapter
Status: Completed
Rating: Explicit
Warning: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Mpreg
Summary: Percival had long given up on the idea that he would find an omega mate, he ver seemed to fit what they were seeking in a husband, always too rough, not gentle enough. But then he meets Newt Scamander and the omega is utterly perfect to him, with his shy smiles and tendency to run headlong into danger. Catching vipers in his hands and keeping nifflers for company, Newt is nothing like the typical demure omega and Percival is lost before he can even think to resist.
❤️Jack O’Neill x Daniel Jackson (Stargate SG-1): Like I don’t even know their ship name for real…
I Walk Alone...No More (by Joy): 17,955 words/1 chapter
Status: Completed
Rating: Explicit
Summary: Daniel finds love in another universe. Quantum Mirror Story.
Even though it was not original Daniel and original Jack ending up together, but in the end it was still Jack and Daniel, and I was happy with the ending.
Pulling Threads (by Joy): 13,241 words/1 chapter
Status: Completed
Rating: Explicit
Summary: Daniel’s place in the world seems to be going nowhere. After what happened with The Others, sending him back, he’s got some thinking to do about what happens next. Does he go to Atlantis, forget about Earth? Or stay at the SGC in a role he’s not entirely sure is his. Then Jack invites him to dinner and his future is changed forever.
Civilians (by LadyRa): 46,557 words/1 chapter
Status: Completed
Rating: Explicit
Summary: AU ending to Point of View. What if the AU Samantha hadn’t been willing to let go of Jack?
Instinct (by AuroraNova): 27,783 words/10 chapters
Status: Completed
Rating: Explicit
Summary: Daniel Jackson is an unconventional, career-focused omega. It’s going to take one special alpha to win him over. Jack O’Neill is determined to be that alpha.
Strange Interlude (by ELG): 228,960 words/4 chapters
Status: Completed
Rating: Explicit
Summary: Daniel discovers that in other universes not only the uniforms are different… Jack and Daniel’s friendship has been under strain for some time but when Daniel is kidnapped by an AU Teal’c very different from our own, it’s up to Jack to save him. An AU Jack, however, complicates the situation considerably. 
❤️Chris Evans x Sebastian Stan (I ship Stucky so as a matter of fact, I ship the actors as well)
Sugar Daddy (by orphan_account): 91,139 words/17 chapters
Status: Completed
Rating: Explicit
Summary: Sebastian is a broke and abandoned college kid trying to scrape up enough money to pay for rent and tuition. When he meets Chris, an accomplished architect who takes him under his wing, he doesn’t understand what his friends keep calling him until he looks it up for himself.
❤️Harringrove (Stranger Things: Billy Hargrove x Steve Harrington)
Bite Your Tongue And Choke Yourself To Sleep (by trashcangimmick): 21,173 words/5 chapters
Status: Completed
Rating: Explicit
Summary: Steve is going to grad school in Chicago. Life is comfortable. Life is stable. Steve is doing great and he really wishes everyone would stop asking.
Set the Record Straight (by MischiefManaged97): 35,054 words/14 chapters
Status: Completed
Rating: Explicit
Summary: Steve was a little nervous about making things right with Billy after their fight. Steve just wants to apologize and relax, but Billy may have other ideas.
You’re the best I’ve ever had; you’re the worst I’ve ever had (and thet keeps fuckin’ with my head) (by determinedlove): 52,697 words/14 chapters
Status: Completed
Rating: Explicit
Warning: Mpreg, Intersex
Summary: Steve Harrington loved his status in the world and his life. He had great friends and babysat two amazing kids (but don’t tell them he said that). So what if he couldn’t sleep in his room sometimes because the house was just too damn big and the quiet didn’t help keep the nightmares at bay. So what if the new guy at school was everything he had been warned away from? He could play the game just as well as he could. But then Will goes missing. And the new guy proves to be everything people warned him about and so much more when no one else is around.
❤️Namjin (BTS: Kim Namjoon (RM) x Kim Seokjin (Jin)): These two are just so adorable together.
Pack Mentality (by resonae): 9,452 words/1 chapter
Status: Completed
Rating: Explicit
Summary: Namjoon is possessive.
The Professor’s Wife (by EquinoxSolstice): 12,163 words/1 chapter
Status: Completed
Rating: Teen and Up Audiences
Summary: Everybody knew Professor Kim was already married. It was actually the first thing they asked the man during the first day of classes, with one brave student asking the question out loud for everyone to hear. The older man responded with deep dimples and a raised left hand, letting everyone see the plain, silver band glittering on his ring finger. But, as one Jeon Kungkook found out, they were all completely, terribly wrong. What? The Professor didn’t say he had a wife.
Why Three is Better Than Two (by lulublue1234): 35,298 words/23 chapters
Status: Completed
Rating: Mature
Summary: Seokjin is a bit of a stalker. Smitten with a Father-son duo. Where Yoongi is the most adorable child ever created.  
The Shaman and the Exorcist (by metastacia): 145,258 words/20 chapters
Status: Completed
Rating: Mature
Summary: Seokjin doesn’t believe in ghosts. Which would cause a huge uproar if everyone knew since he’s kind of a big deal at his university; he’s a shaman who protects people from evil spirits. He doesn’t remember where he got the idea to do this from, all he knows is that superstitious people pay good money. Namjoon does believe in ghosts. Better yet, he can see them and he can expel them. But there’s a certain honey shaman at his university who’s stealing all his clients in his exorcism business, and he’s not happy about it because haunted people pay good money. So, what do they do? Figure out whose closet is holding all the skeletons, of course.
Fate Led Me To You (Now Let me Love You) (by MinMinnieMin): 58,382 words/15 chapters
Status: Completed
Rating: Mature
Summary: Seokjin did not believe he’d ever have a happy ending. How many happy endings did you ever hear an unmated Omega with a child have? But fate is a funny thing. What’s meant to be will always find its way. And Kim Namjoon tries his best to get Seokjin to see that. Because of fate, they found each other.
❤️Broyo (Prodigal Son: Gil Arroyo x Malcolm Bright): I seem to have a soft spot for couples with noticeable age difference
To be Normal (by holyfudgemonkeys (erraticallyinspired)): 70,399 words/26 chapters
Status: Completed
Rating: Explicit
Warning: Mpreg
Summary: Malcolm has a terrible encounter while out trying to be ‘normal’ and get roofied. He doesn’t report it and tries to move on but winds up pregnant. He turns to Gil for support who is there with open arms. As they work through the choices Malcolm has to make and Gil is just there more and more their relationship evolves into something more intimate and romantic than either of them could ever have planned for.
❤️Hannor (Detroit: Become Human: Hank Anderson x Connor): Again, another couple with considerable age difference
Arrival (by coffee666): 83,075 words/7 chapters
Status: Completed
Rating: Explicit
Summary: Hank just wanted help around the house for Cole. He never expected such a goofy thing that laughed and hummed and protected Cole with all of his being. Connor is not like other androids - but neither of them truly know how deep those differences go.
The Opposite Life (by Speckeh): 38,612 words so far
Status: Incompleted (9/10 chapters)
Rating: Explicit
Summary: 17 years and 9 months ago, Connor decided to start his own family, alone. He falls in love with the voice sample of Donor 55719, as the mysterious man talks about a mundane life. It’s everything he wished for. After 17 years of loving the two minute voice sample that fathered his children, what will Connor do when that voice suddenly appears in his life?
By Default//By Design (by Make_It_Worse): 9,211 words/1 chapter
Status: Completed
Rating: Explicit
Summary: Connor, an overworked clothing designer, who is also a huge brat. Hank, an HK800 android model, who isn’t having any of it.
❤️Hannigram (Hannibal: Hannibal Lecter x Will Graham)
With a Crown of Stars (by thehoyden): 33,536 words/7 chapters
Status: Completed
Rating: Explicit
Summary: When the call connects, Will says, “I know what kind of crazy I am, but I’m not this kind of crazy.”
“Will?” Dr. Lecter says.
“Yes, hi, sorry,” Will says. “It’s me. There’s a baby on my porch.”
Taken for Rubies (by emungere): 76,842 words/20 chapters
Status: Completed
Rating: Explicit
Warning: Crossdressing, Feminization
Summary: Will invites Hannibal over for dinner. Hannibal brings him wine and flowers. A dissection of their pasts and the slow convergence of their domestic lives.
❤️Rinch (Person of Interest: John Reese x Harold Finch)
Pallas’s Rosefinch (by elbowsinsidethedoor): 55,536 words/25 chapters
Status: Completed
Rating: Explicit
Warning: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics
Summary: Harold needs John. John needs Harold. And that’s the way I like it!
Difficult To Name aka Titles Are Difficult (by elbowsinsidethedoor): 51,710 words/17 chapters
Status: Completed
Rating: Explicit
Summary: John is a retired pro who comes back for a special client. For those who fear a BDSM themed story, please note that this is a tender love story.
Milk and Cream (by hallulawy): 33,388 words/6 chapters
Status: Completed
Rating: Explicit
Warning: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Out-of-character
Summary: Story between John (Alpha, 35, general practitioner) and Harold (Omega, 27-ish, entrepreneur, five-month-pregnant). They are not married (yet).
❤️Noah Reid x Dan Levy (They play Patrick and David in Schitt’s Creek if you don’t know)
Fries Before Guys (by wildxwired): 29,065 words/1 chapter
Status: Completed
Rating: Explicit
Summary: Six weeks ago, Home (on a) Plate showed up in front of the MTV building in West Hollywood and started providing the locals with quite possibly the most amazing and inventive variations of grilled cheese sandwiches and cheese fries every Monday and Thursday, between the hours of 12 and 2. It wasn’t just the melt -in-the-mouth gooey goodness that had people clambering around the truck, or the insanely fair prices that were usually nowhere to be found on the rest of the street food in LA, but the fact that this was all served up by some hazel eyed specimen with the forearms of a god probably didn’t hurt either.
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qqueenofhades · 3 years
Note
your recent fivan picture reblogs and tags make me realize that its a tragedy that there’s not a royalty rivalry au (ivan and fedyor being part of feuding families? Ivan being all business and Fedyor being the sunshine one who always goes out in the town?? Both of them find the other irritating but together they’d be a power couple?)
also how are they so cute???
Anon, I truly love how you remark upon it being a tragedy that there is not yet [insert AU premise here] while pointedly fluttering your eyelashes at me like we all don't know exactly where this is going. Also, I don't know why they're so cute, but I hate them.
Fourteen hours ago, Fedyor Kaminsky was absolutely not planning on being trapped in a coat closet in an uber-exclusive London nightclub in the company of his sworn nemesis. (For that matter, he wasn't planning on it an hour ago either.) Fourteen hours ago, he was on board his family's private jet on his way home from a wild party weekend in Dubai and congratulating himself that he had managed not to think about said sworn nemesis for the entire time, aside from checking his Instagram forty-six separate times to see if Ivan could possibly be doing something this fabulous. Of course he wasn't. His page has 6,402 followers (Fedyor's has 545,300) and mainly consists of black-and-white photographs of urban decay with terse Russian captions. Ivan Sakharov has so many problems.
One of those problems, however, is that Fedyor is currently stuck in a coat closet with him, and he doesn't know how it happened but he doesn't care. Ivan is wearing his usual black-leather-jacket-and-jeans getup, and he's not even trying to text somebody and order them to come get him out of the closet. (Yes, the irony is blinding, but shut up.) He's just leaning against the wall and watching Fedyor with a judgmental expression (or in other words, how Ivan customarily looks). "So," he says sarcastically. "If you actually wanted to talk to me, Fedyor Mikhailovich, there were easier ways."
"You think I did this on purpose?"
Ivan shrugs. "What kind of moron follows me into a coat closet and then proclaims he can't open the door?"
"Open the door yourself, then!"
Ivan just laughs. Then he says, "How was Dubai? Don't they arrest you for having sex in public?"
"I did not have sex in public."
"Oh?" Ivan looks at him goadingly. "Then what do you call that display?"
Fedyor opens his mouth, then shuts it, reminding himself that the only thing worse than being stuck in a coat closet nemesis etc is then having an utterly absurd limp-wrist slap fight. It occurs to him to wonder if Ivan has been Instagram-stalking him too, but that's crazy. For one thing, while it's not quite Montagues and Capulets, the Kaminskys and the Sakharovs definitely don't get along. They're both moneyed Russian families settled in "Londongrad," as it is now known for the concentration of oligarchs who have snapped up luxe properties and set up house, and they're usually butting heads. Fedyor is the outgoing, photogenic playboy heir to the Kaminsky fortune, and Ivan... well, presumably he does something besides sulking in corners, but if so, Fedyor has never seen the least sign of it. He may be a little (okay, a lot) more obsessed with Ivan than he wants to admit. For example, he kept seeing Ivan with an equally gorgeous and judgmental woman, twisted himself into knots wondering if they were dating, and scoured social media until he determined that she was Zoya Nazyalenskaya, girlfriend of fellow Russian Rich Kid (tm) Nikolai Lantsov, and she and Ivan just like to stalk around and stare at you angrily when you're not expecting it. Or whatever.
Nonetheless, there is more to Fedyor than just racing Lamborghinis through Kensington (that was once, and he was seventeen, but of course the tabloids will never let it go). His family is best buddies with Roman Abramovich, which means match-day Chelsea tickets whenever he wants them, and he flits among nightclubs and influencers and hot vacation destinations while definitely absolutely not thinking about Ivan and how hot he is while he's being a jerk. Ugh. Why him. Why this closet at a nightclub called Prism. Why.
"You know," Ivan says, stepping closer. "I think you want this, Fedya."
"I do not." If he was going to make anyone believe that, Fedyor should probably have at least attempted to step away, rather than reaching up to grip hold of Ivan's biceps. He hates that stupid jacket. He hates how goddamn good it looks on Ivan. "You're the worst."
"Sure," Ivan says. "We'll go with that." And then, even more outrageously, he leans down and --
Fedyor tries to moan, but Ivan bites it away, pushing him into a lot of obscenely expensive overcoats and grinding his hips into Fedyor's. They kiss savagely, break apart for air, glare at each other, and kiss again, as Fedyor shucks off that stupid jacket and thinks dimly that Ivan looks even better without it. He's going haywire with the lust he has unsuccessfully repressed for three years, since he first laid eyes on this idiot, and every nerve ending on his body is afire. He wants nothing more than to do this until he dies. Until he is nothing but dust and ashes. But not right now. Right now he's burning.
They're pressed up hard (in more ways than one) against the wall, uttering incoherent noises of need, when the door flies open. "Fedyor?" his assistant, Nadia, demands. "Is that you in there?"
At that moment, she catches sight of what is going on. Her jaw drops. There is really no way to pretend that he wasn't just caught red-handed passionately making out with his sworn nemesis in a closet, so Fedyor wipes his mouth and summons up a winning smile. "Ah," he says through gritted teeth. "Nadia. Excellent timing."
She looks at him, at Ivan, then back at him. Then she steps back, says, "You know what, I'm going to give you five," and slams the door.
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stusbunker · 4 years
Text
A Gentlemen’s Agreement Epilogue
A Supernatural Denny AU Fan-fiction Series
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Featuring: Dean Winchester/ Benny Lafitte
Other characters: Pamela, Jesse, Caesar, Crowley, Balthazar, Meg, Jo, Lee, Lisa, Sam (mentioned), Drea OFC, Robbie and SJ OMCs, Deanna OFC
Word count: 2340
A/N: Enjoy! xoxo Stu
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Brunch
    The sun was bright, but the air was crisp. The remnants of the early snowstorm had left soggy lawns and damp sidewalks. Benny pulled up to the restaurant and parked on the curb, smiling over at Dean. He waited patiently. 
    “You sure this is a good idea?” Dean squinted in the midday light.
    “Been dying to meet ya. Figured it’s only fair, I met your folks, you can meet my people too,” Benny said simply. “But I’m not gonna force ya.”
    “I just, I’m not used to being out in public. In numbers,” Dean sputtered.
    Benny raised a single eyebrow at him. “Well, I guess this is your best shot to try it out, dontcha think?”
    “What if they don’t like me? I don’t want you to have to choose between me and your friends,” Dean explained the root of the problem.
    “I like you, they will too. Just relax, be your charming self and if you don’t know what to say, you can just keep eating.” Benny put his hand on Dean’s thigh, squeezing just so.
    Dean growled out a sigh. “Fine. But you’re paying.”
    Like that could make an uncomfortable situation worth it. Benny smirked at Dean’s logic, waiting for his face to soften from grouchy to amiable. Once Dean relaxed, Benny kissed him, just long enough to keep him flustered and climbed out of the truck.
     They approached a large round table midway along the heated patio, where four people were already seated.
A raven haired woman waved them over. “My good Benjamin, did you bring a straight boy to brunch, just for me?!”
“Pammy!” Benny leaned in and kissed her cheek. "Hate to disappoint ya darlin', but ain't nothing straight about this'n."
 “Hey, now! Can’t a guy speak for himself?!” Dean snipped defensively as he sat in the spot beside Benny.
Everyone laughed. Pamela raised her eyebrow in question.
Dean licked his lips and put on the smolder, “Sorry sweetheart, but I’m taken.”
“Wait, this--- THIS is your sassy mechanic?!” Crowley leaned forward, extending his hand, his English brogue gruff and pandering. “Nice to finally meet you, handsome.”
       Dean gave Benny the side eye and all Benny could do was shrug coyly. Dean shook the man’s hand, trying not to show his discomfort from his lingering glances. Benny made the rest of the introductions, Jesse and Cesar were also a couple, but had been married for a few years. They seemed to be waiting on someone before they ordered. The group sipped their cocktails with a fresh pitcher of Bloody Mary in the center of the kitsch tablecloth.
Benny poured Dean a generous portion of the red drink and slipped seamlessly into the conversation. Dean sucked the palmeto out of an olive and listened casually, not too sure where he fit in this part of Benny’s life.
Twenty minutes later a rail of a guy swaggered in, with oversized aviators and a black linen suit. 
“Oh, thank Christ for booze,” he huffed, grabbing Dean’s glass without even acknowledging Dean was there. The blonde chugged the entire drink, before breaking for air. “I just had the worst hook up of my life, no, well, the year at least. He took me to his mother’s house. She tried to make me breakfast. I was simply mortified. I just left. What could I even do at that point, honestly?!”
Now that his audience had his attention back, the man gawked at Dean. He even pulled down his sunglasses for a better look. “Now who the fuck is this? Is it show and tell?! Because I am not prepared in the least.” 
He casually patted at his hair and eyed Dean from top to toe. Benny chuckled, but Pamela was the one to make the introduction.
“Balthazar, our regular hangover diva. Meet Dean, Benny’s boy toy,” she deadpanned, eyes sparkling with mischief.
“Oh you can’t be serious,” Balthazar lamented, looking from Pam to Benny to Crowley and finally at Dean. “Fuck you southerners and your goddamn accents--- always gets the hotter ones,” he muttered defensively as he threw himself against the armrest of the chair, crossing his legs.
“Well, now that we’re all here,” Cesar ended the dramatics concisely. “Maybe somebody should find our waitress?”
Dean looked at Benny confused. “We’re always here for a while, she doesn’t bother us until we’re actually ready to order. Tend to annoy her otherwise.”
Crowley volunteered as he needed to head to the men’s room anyhow. Five minutes later he arrived with an obviously surly waitress.
“Well look what the cat dragged in,” Meg’s smokey voice broke through Balthazar's latest story. She centered herself between Cesar and Crowley’s seat and cocked her hip, tongue firmly in cheek as she waited for Dean to take her bait.
“Heya, Meg,” Dean sighed. The inevitable caught up with him after all, they just had to run into someone he knew.
“Oh, this has got to be good, now, pray tell, how do you two know each other?” Crowley probed.
“Oh me and this schmuck? We go way back.” Meg smiled without teeth.
“Is that so?” Benny tested the waters.
“Not like that,” Dean grumbled. “Meg, here, took my little brother Sammy out for a few spins, back in the day. Didn’t you, sweetheart?”
“Yeah, well, what can I say? It was high school.” Meg let her indifference coat her entire being until curiosity sparked to life in her eyes. “So what are you doing with this crowd, or did they bring you in just to add a new level of torture to my Sunday shifts?”
“Well---.” Dean swallowed, looked at Benny for clarification and got mild amusement instead. “I think you’re stuck with me now.”
“Joy,” Meg bristled before taking their orders, knowing most of the table’s usuals before they even opened their mouths.
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News
    Benny rushed into the customer entrance of the shop, the wet October air had kept the service doors closed for the past week. He leaned against the counter, decorated in local business cards and charity fliers, anxiously waiting for someone to talk to. His chest was so tight he worried he’d pass out from excitement. He just needed to see him was all, once he saw Dean it would be easier.
    Lee sauntered in from the service bay, they both had drawn the short straw it seemed.
    “Hey, mind getting Dean for me? It’s important,” Benny asked, unable to keep the burning smile from his face.
    Lee eyed him curiously but nodded and headed back the way he came. He didn’t shout, not really. “Dean-o, your boyfriend’s looking for ya.”
    Dean unfurled himself from the engine he had been tinkering with all morning and glared at Lee.
    “Husband, whatever, seems urgent,” Lee acquiesced. Dean nodded and wiped his hands off on the closest rag. Dean pulled his wedding band out from his undershirt out of habit more than anything. He couldn’t wear it on his hands at work, but he didn’t want to lose it so Benny made him a braided leather necklace once they got back from their honeymoon.
    Dean ignored formality and walked straight into the waiting room. Once he saw the look on Benny’s face he knew what was happening.
    “It’s go time?” He asked, shock and exhilaration sparking his instinct to move.
    “It’s go time, cher. Lisa called me on the way to the hospital. Sam’s driving her from the office. Her water broke about 9:30,” Benny explained, the nervousness slipping into his cadence.
    “Alright, I’m gonna clean up, you want me to drive?” Dean asked, gauging the unsteadiness in his usually stalwart husband.
    “That’s probably best, yeah,” Benny agreed. 
Dean leaned in and kissed him firmly, resting his forehead against Benny’s temple before pulling away.“Hey, we got this, alright? That kid is gonna be so spoiled having you for a daddy, you know that?”
“Look who’s talking, gonna have you wrapped around their finger before they can even crawl,” Benny teased back, inhaling with contentment.
Dean headed back to warn his coworkers that he had a baby on the way and to clean up enough to be allowed into a hospital. Jo followed Dean out into the lobby. Quickly, she hugged Benny before demanding regular updates to the group chat.
“Alright, get out of here, we’ve got you covered for the rest of the week. Let me know and I will put in paternity leave as soon as everyone’s home, okay?” Jo got all professional about things as Dean left.
“Oh, right, shit. Well, I guess I’ll let you know when you can come over and---,” Dean started before Benny pulled him by his elbow.
“We should be goin’” Benny urged. Dean looked at Jo one last time and nodded.
This was it.
   Dean held Benny’s hand the whole way to the hospital, their grip tightening every so often, grounding them both. Because Lisa was a friend and the surrogacy was looser than most circumstances, both Benny and Dean were allowed in the delivery room. They were the best cheerleaders a birth mom could have ever asked for. Seven hours later, one chubby baby girl entered the world screaming to high heaven and splitting her fathers’ hearts open for an entirely new level of love and devotion.
    Mary Andrea Lafitte-Winchester, or Drea for short, was a happy and healthy little girl. And an overprotective big sister to her twin brothers, Samuel Joel and Robert Fergus, who came along four years later.
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Sunset
    They’re old men now. Dean is five years retired, while Benny works the register for their sons on the weekends. Both of their hands aren’t what they used to be. But they keep busy. Drea is bringing the kids round tomorrow, it’s the start of summer break and Dean’s been dying to teach her kids to fish.  
    Dean went grey after he turned fifty, but it hasn’t changed since, in color at least. Benny’s beard is as white as Santa Claus and he hides what little hair he has left under a cap. They’re both a little rounder, a little lower to the ground, but they got that way together and neither of them notice it on one another anyhow.
       Every year they visit Jesse and Cesar in Arizona for New Year's. Though they fly more than make the drive these days.
        They still take turns cooking the meals and the movie nights from their early days resurfaced into movie afternoons when their kids moved out. Dean can’t hear for shit anymore and, naturally, Benny makes fun of him for it. But Dean’ll put in his hearing aids if company is over.
 It’s early evening in the beginning of June and the bugs are orchestrating quite the soundtrack to their time on the porch. Dean pours his whiskey. Benny’s already sipping his sweet tea, his medications don’t let him drink much anymore. Jo’ll come by on Sunday, along with SJ and his wife and Robbie. Sam and Jess usually make it to every other dinner or so.
    “Hey there, handsome. Mind if I join you?” Dean teases, once a flirt always a flirt.
    “Not at all, cher. It’s a helluva view,” Benny glances at his husband, watches Dean take in the peaches and pinks kissing the slopes of the fields. They sit like that for an hour, until the dark is too thick to see through. Groaning and creaking they stand in turn. Dean keeps his hand on the small of Benny’s back as they head inside for the night, steadying them both.
    They moved their bedroom to the ground floor after Dean’s heart attack, a lot less worry about making it upstairs that way. After being married forty years, Dean still makes jokes about it being Benny’s place. But it’s always been his home. He kisses Benny goodnight, makes it a little saucy because he can. He’s the first to close his eyes.
    In the morning Benny makes waffles and tofu bacon. Dean pretends he can’t taste the difference, fooling no one. They make out while the sink fills for the dishes, too few to run the machine. Benny gets handsy first and Dean tries to squirm into the upperhand. They’re interrupted by a car pulling in the drive.
    “Busted,” Benny whispers.
    “You’re the one who wanted kids,” Dean grumbles against Benny’s neck, an old, unfounded retort.
    “Yeah, but the grandkids---,” Benny starts.
    “Were made to be spoiled,” Dean finishes and kisses Benny once more. Drea’s yelling at her kids to slow down before her dads even make it outside to greet them. Her eyes, blue as her daddy’s are tired. They don’t envy her the school aged years. Dean bends down as baby Deanna, who’s nearly four, comes crashing into his arms. He pulls her up and holds her tight, reminds him of her mama and he can’t help but get a little weepy over the passing years. 
    “It’s so good to see you, baby girl.” Benny pulls his daughter into a hug before helping with their bags. The older kids don’t come inside until it’s time to eat, climbing through the barn and splashing in the creek until they’re soaked. But Deanna sticks with her Grandpa on a simple stroll, while Pappy and Mama catch up.
    Dean still has the jacket he bought from Benny, though the pants are long gone. He’ll leave it to Robbie when the time comes, when his son finds himself a stud that’s worth settling down for. If that’s what he chooses. 
    For now, Dean lets his granddaughter pick up every rock and stick she finds and examines it to the nth degree. He explains what he can about each one. She’s very curious. He even lets her wipe her chubby little hands on his pants’ leg when she needs to. They get back to the house just in time to start dinner, but before they go inside Dean takes a mental picture of his husband on the porch, their daughter beside him and his granddaughter running past him.
   It is a helluva view after all. 
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