#also all of her friends are ex-friends bc she sucks. so bad <3

[bluejaybytes]

The worst part about having let myself post about my own OCs is that they're on my mind constantly and everythings already outdated. I'm like if Sisyphus was a lesbian

[duke-daemon]

hazbin hotel redesigns wooooooooo

okay so. i'm gonna discuss my thoughts about them n shit, putting under a readmore bc it's gonna get long and rambley. sorry in advance for the shit formatting, i'm on mobile </3

just some general shit about how i would rewrite it. i think the premise of redeeming sinners is entertaining but is executed horribly. i also am a fan of the "heaven isn't great either" idea but again, executed horribly. i'd make the hierarchy of angels more accurate because it's cool as hell and i have autism about it. the characters from hell would swear still (albeit not as much), but the angels would outright refuse to swear or make vulgar jokes ever. this would be partially to further the gap between heaven and hell and make the differences more stark.

hell would also be more like dante's inferno (again because i think its cool). the ars goetia would get a full redesign and would be more prevalent in demonic society.

now for the characters!

---

VAGGIE VALTIEL:

starting off with vaggie, or Valtiel as i've renamed her because let's be honest her original name sucks. Valtiel (Val for short) was an aspiring power angel who wanted to be an exorcist. she looked up to lute and thought the idea of killing demons was really cool and badass. however when she actually was on the field for the first time she discovered how awful this actually was. she tried to help a few demons but lute figured it out and felled her right then and there. the rest of her story is relatively the same. personality wise she's more stoic and less prone to all-out aggression. she still get angry, sure, but it's in a quieter and more menacing way. you DO NOT want to fuck with Valtiel.

CHARLIE:

next up is charlie! i had two ideas for her. the first one (unsettling drawing) has her as a mannequin/doll type demon. lucifer and/or lilith was unable to conceive and as such they built a kid from scratch. she's overall similar to og charlie personality wise, very kind and cheerful despite her unsettling appearance. she struggles with empathy sometimes but really does mean well. her motive for rehabilitating sinners is so they get to see their family again. being able to see heaven from where they are in hell must make them sad, so she wants to help make them happy again!

the second idea for charlie has her as an angel. specifically i casted her as a dominion angel due to their reputation as holy judges. she was once a demon but has been rehabilitated and has risen into angelhood! she now wants to help her former kin do the same and redeem themselves in heaven's gaze. again, similar cheery personality, but a bit more prudish in this rendition

tangent time!

as a side tangent, valtiel and charlie would have a different relationship in this rewrite. their relationship felt shoehorned in in the original show, like it was just there for the hell of it. we didn't see much development between them and it just felt kinda bland. so in my rewrite, charlie and valtiel are amiable exes. they tried dating when valtiel first fell (when charlie was still a demon in the charlie-angel version) but realized their feelings for each other were much more platonic than romantic. they ended things off on good terms, deciding they were much better as friends. they are still besties to this day! later charlie ends up with emily (or 'ellie' as i plan to rename her)

back to the characters

Alastor:

note: i made alastor mixed-race, which could be seen as bad by some due to vivzie saying he's black. however, as many have pointed out, he has no ethnic features whatsoever and i honestly wouldn't be surprised if she said that just to get away with using voodoo symbols (a closed religion) in his imagery/design. like viv, i am incredibly white and have little to no knowledge of voodoo, and even if i did i would not use it for something like this anyways due to the stigma the religion already has and (again) it being a closed practice. as such i removed it from his concept altogether, but made him mixed race (white passing) because.. why not i guess, i forgor my actual reasoning

with that being said...

alastor is by far my favorite of the redesigns and i'm honestly tempted to turn him into a legally distinct oc. i imagine he's somewhat reserved, along the lines of norman bates albeit a bit more extroverted. during his life he was a serial killer with a day job as a radio announcer. he took pleasure in reporting about his own murders on the radio, but that is eventually what got him caught (ie accidentally letting slip info that wasn't released to the public). as a result he was sentenced to death. upon arriving in hell, he quickly rose through the ranks to borderline overlord status and is a feared presence by demons and sinners alike. why is he bothering to assist in the hotel project? who knows... his motives are a mystery, like the rest of what he does

(he isn't actually alastair crowley i just thought the naming convention was ironic. however he may have also dabbled with satanic magic in lifetime..)

Angel Dust:

TW: brief discussion of SA

this is definitely my second favorite redesign. i loooove insect themes and wanted to do more than just Extra Arms, so he now has fucked up legs and a lot of eyes too! story-wise, angel used to be a criminal mastermind, hated by both the mafia and the feds. he was a gentleman thief, arranging massive heists under the cover of night while also partaking in the occasional drag show. he ended up a cocaine addict later in life, which caused his work to become sloppier. eventually he was killed in a heist gone wrong, specifically shot by the police.

i'm not gonna go too in-depth on the SA part of his story, but he is hypersexual due to being assaulted in both his life and afterlife. it would be something he'd be working on in the rewrite. his reason for coming to the hotel in the first place may have even been for help with this trauma. underneath his sultry exterior is a broken guy who really just needs someone to care about him for who he really is and not for what his body can do.

LUTE:

so lute and adam are some of the characters i have the most gripes about. the biggest one being why viv chose adam as the leader of the exorcists in the first place. if she wants a biblical figure tied to demon killing, Archangel Michael is RIGHT THERE, aka the one destined to kill satan during the events of Revelations. if she wants the first human to die, that would be Abel, not Adam. and i kinda doubt abel would want to do the stuff that HH!adam has been doing. if she wants an angel related to torture, Dumah is her guy! an angel that rules over wicked souls and tortures sinners every day except sabbath. so many better options...

with that out of the way, Lute is still the lieutenant of the exorcist, who are a specially chosen group of powers sent to purge hell once a year. think navy seals. she's pretty much the same as in the show, albeit more muscular and visually different from other exorcists (seriously why do they all look exactly the same?????) she's a very repressed lesbian who hasn't had time to work on that due to her duties

i also redesigned the exorcist uniform/armor because those LED purge masks are fugly as hell and their clothes don't even look remotely like armor.

Adam + Final Thoughts

i did start a redesign of adam but got bored of it. regardless, i think he'd be the head of C.H.E.R.U.B. instead of the exorcists. he doesn't want his children to make the same mistakes he and eve did, so together they started C.H.E.R.U.B. to help lost souls stay out of hell

final thoughts uhhhh i'm tired. show sucks, it had so much potential but viv ruined it by being a shitty writer and an even shittier person. the designs are fine i guess but they all look exactly the same and are in desperate need of variety. the humor is dogshit, saying dick and balls and penis over and over and over again doesn't make it any funnier than the first three times you made that joke. anyways that's it, i hope you liked my inane ramblings. gonna go vanish for another forty years or so, adios

[pollard-zero]

@idlenight + @autumnfangirler FUN FACT !!! we made that post........... and then immediately had to go run around for a few hours BUT OKAY. we're back and ready to talk abt our guys

(teenage girl talking abt her celebrity crush at a sleepover voice) okay so honestly the main one on our mind rn is melrose (no last name) (I don't remember if other important characters who are human have one) (we'll make one up later if we need to I guess) who is from the incubus series by sonnet009games (rated 18+ for explicit + unavoidable sexual content !!) who we can't stop thinking abt bc we're OBSESSED w the progression that's going on w their incubus situationship (who btw only started being a hookup w melrose as his "last resort" to avoid starving to death ??? but like.... Things Are Progressing fr.....) (last ep they both actually almost died like. For Realsies. like it was Dire !!!! and then flea ?? helped bandage their wounds ?? and didn't want to feed off them to heal his own bc he was worried abt how injured they were ??? hello ???? I am Throwing Up !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and there's also the complication that melrose is totally in love with another guy ted (who doesn't feel the same as far as we know and is happily married) and flea fucking Got On Their Case abt it and called them pathetic but then when ted showed up at the end of the last ep flea gets mad if u don't introduce him and tells ted that he's "kind of a fixture around here these days" like are you JEALOUS ??????? shut up !!!!!!!

and then there's our "preacher" cassidy who is our mc for larkin (by larkingame obvs) bc we've been talking abt them a lot w cryptid after finding out that she also plays who btw their entire fucking thing is being a vampire hunter ??? who was raised in a cult of vampire hunters ??? and also now is fucking. pretending to be a preacher to lay low from The single biggest name in vampire hunting (the guild that basically runs the entire thing) ???? which is !!! insane !!! and we've been totally haunted abt who could have possibly put the bounty out for cassidy + wyatt (their father figure who is the son of the literal leader of the cult that raised them) (it's literally 10k for preacher alive !!!!!! and 5k if dead which is still a decent amount !!!!! who is paying this !!!!!) but also abt the fact that we're So super impatient to see what becomes of them and ace (their ex from california who they literally said they wouldn't be surprised if he put out the bounty bc of what they'd done to him ??? so like. bestie !!! what did u fucking DO !!!!) BUT DOUBLE ALSO we keep thinking abt them being friends w cryptid's girl winona bc they both suck (affectionate) so bad and are the worst cult members (not paying attention during any of the sermons at all) <33

and THEN on top of those two we've also been talking to jules a bunch abt friday (as an extension of talking abt rainn and M from apt502-if) who really isn't anything special besides just being a sweetheart and the love of my life but also we're super stuck on thinking abt their rivalry w mason bc like. literally imagine dating someone in college and being so in love and pursuing the same field (being a teacher) and then you break up (it's mutual! it's fine! you're just not on the same page abt what you want out of life rn!) and you each move back to a different state.... AND THEN. THEY SHOW UP IN THE SAME CITY YOU LIVE IN ??? LITERAL NEW YORK CITY ??? DESPITE THEM VERY MUCH /NOT/ WANTING TO LIVE IN A HUGE SCARY CITY ??? AND OUT OF EVERY SCHOOL IN THE CITY THEY'RE WORKING AT THE ONE /YOU/ WORK AT ??? nah bc like..... on one hand. how fucking dare u. but on the other hand ??? at what point is it fate !!!! esp since they are Newly Single !!!!! also we just decided rn that I think we're gonna make friday be from minnesota bc I really want them to have that stereotypical accent just bc it's cute <3 literally please think of the country mouse and the city mouse. that's how they are w both rainn and mason tbh. but they're gonna be such a good teacher !!!!! u know those kids are picking from a treasure trove of stickers and fidget toys and desk pets when they're being good

besides them we've mostly been trying to pin down names for the endlessly-growing number of kids who don't have them so that we can get them listed and tagged to free up our 680+ drafted posts but . uh. that's. not going great honestly BUT SOME HAVE LAST NAMES NOW...... which is a start (and honestly it's not like most of these games have ever gotten past the initial demo so like Who Cares but also I need to name them........)

also pulp I'm obsessed w u !!!!!!!!! that is so sweet iluuu we literally almost just posted a bunch of facts we made up abt ocs we don't think abt as much out of the blue earlier and then we were like no....... we don't want 2 bug the people....... but like 😏 actually maybe we Will bug the people then

[conanssummerchild]

im pissed and im petty and bitter so here are my ex best friends red flags bcs fuck her and now that we're not friends i can stop pretending she was perfect

1. she had such a fucking superiority complex

i swear to god she always thought what she was doing was better or right, for example im really bad at school and she was little miss straight a's, which is fine, until she made it my business too. one time i was talking about struggling in maths and she gave me some advice and i said i did it differently and she said like "well who's in the low maths class?" i never talked to her about academics again. and thats only one example of so many

2. she complained so goddamn much

i swear to god every fucking hour she was venting about something, and it was really uncomfortable ngl bcs i never ever talk about my feelings and i wasnt used to someone being so open, which yeah i know my way isnt healthy either but i swear she had to make everything become about her feelings, like shut your fucking mouth

3. speaking of, she said like that it was weird for her when i talked to her about my dad

like i said i dont talk about my feelings but since she was so open i tried to be more open for her, but i guess i shouldve just kept my mouth shut, bcs i never ever complained abt her venting but when i did it it was too much aparently also i asked her this:

and she never bothered answering. hypocritical if u ask me

4. she reminded me too much of my sister

this isnt a flaw of her own and more of a me problem, but she was too much like my sister and i shouldve identified that as the issue it was earlier on (if ur not familiar with me, me and my sister have a really bad relationship) maybe then i wouldve been able to work through it and it wouldnt have been a problem

5. she was lowkey kinda patronising

she used this fucking voice at me sometimes (usually in autism related issues) and i tried to convince myself it was sweet and comforting but really it felt like she was speaking to a child (i do not fucking like being infantilised.) in fact a lot of the ways she treated me made me feel like a child and it fucking. sucked.

6. everytime i was struggling she would tell me how hard it was for her

I GET IT OH MY GOD SHUT UP. like the first time i didnt mind it, because i knew it was true, but like was it really necessary to say it every. fucking. time? i dont talk about my feelings normally. if she knew i was feeling bad it was only because i was feeling so bad i couldnt hold it together anymore or i was nonverbal. i understand im difficult to deal with like that but telling me how bad it makes you feel just makes me feel more like shit. not everything is about you and your feelings dude

7. she was really gatekeepy over this one youtuber i started watching

ok so theres this youtuber zara beth who one day i discovered on yt and i rlly liked her and so i told my ex bsf and she was like oh yeah i bet u only watched her videos on autism 😒 and she was being like so passive agressive the whole conversation like GIRL, CHILL. even if i did only watch her videos on autism whats wrong with that (and like i didnt even, i watched all of them on 2x speed and binged her entire account)

THE THREE DOTS??? 💀

8. several of the few times i would tell her abt smth that i was upset over she would just straight up change the subject 😭

9. she liked physical contact too much

ik this isnt a red flag really but im not comfortable with so much physical contact so we weren't compatible in this way

10. she liked video calls too much

again, not really a red flag but video calls and just phone calls in general make me so uncomfortable and exhausted and honestly its even kinda overstimulating and she always wanted to call

11. she said she didnt feel like anything was going on in the aftermath of us having had a disagreement, but it built up so much that we havent talked since. so i would say maybe we shouldve talked about it (like i suggested). ('my face was grey but you wouldnt admit that we were sick' vibes)

theres more red flags, but there was also so much good, it wasnt all bad, which makes it hurt more, she truly showed me what it felt like to love and i miss her painfully every day.

[shopcat]

i've definitely said this before but no harm in repeating like i think... beyond what the writers intend or what they're actually attempting to aim for (if anything) i can see the stupid steve nancy "love triangle" Thing in many entirely reasonable lights and not one of them end in it actually being a love triangle. it's not a love triangle. and MAYBE!!!! i'm just tired of the steve haters of the world being like "season 4 steve sucks he's just so into nancy" FUCK OFF!!!! MAYBE YOU TRY AND HANG AROUND YOUR EX IN A STRESSFUL SITUATION AND SEE HOW YOU COPE. BITCH. anyway i think it's a testament to um character empathy and a love for their part in their narrative to view things not only kindly but ... logically and not just dismiss what could be happening either out of like panic or despair bc that's just not as fun at the end of the day and i am maybe naively hopeful. and instead it's just SO easy to contextualise and a story is only what it's telling YOU etc etc.

like how okay to me the 6 little nuggets speech coalesces all at once like, 1. steve and nancy got together in a period of their lives where the only problem in their lives was meant to be like. which college they're getting into. to each other they represent the like literal halcyon days of normalcy in an incredibly depressing twist on it where the nostalgic times they wish they could go back to was just Average Life. just Highschool. with the knowledge monsters don't exist and their friends aren't dead. in the continued battering ram of the upside down's particular brand of trauma year in and out wearing them down i think being around each other will always bring out that part of themselves that remembers what it was like When They Were Happy and i think the entire reason they seemed to revert so much to their roots this season in those little glimpses we see is because of this and this particular like, go of it the stakes were higher and their involvement was far more concentrated so um. when every move you make has weight it's not CRAZY that he wanted to let a little bit of it off and i think he sees nancy as this shining beacon of What Once Was, so YEAH in the fucking throes of the beginning of the apocalypse he latched onto her again a little. entirely understandable and not a VILLAINOUS TRAIT on either of their parts

this goes hand in hand with 2. steve himself is a notoriously avoidant incredibly actually NEUROTIC person. he wants SO badly to just cling on to what he once had he will unintentionally dig his nails in to it and we see this a LOT in the context of nancy especially during season one and like the first half of season two. he wants to Let The Bad Things Go and just go to the movies and be a couple normal kids again. whenever the upside down rears it's head again he doesn't react with like, preparedness or even fear he just goes straight to NO NO NO NO NO which is like. literally. but it's because he doesn't WANT to deal with it like at All. and i find that actually interesting juxtaposed with how nancy actively seeks out and cannot let the upside down go... maybe for what it did to her or maybe because she just feels she has to. who else is going to. and the initial reason she even bonded with jonathan or if you like to think so developed proper feelings for him is because jonathan ALSO sought it out. the upside down is a mystery to them that they want to solve and the upside down is a PROBLEM to get away from for steve and i think this is significant. so i think them experiencing something that feels bigger than it ever has in a context where it's all on them and where the kids they're taking care of are in genuine danger as well as themselves, coming right off the back of having to ESCAPE the dimensional hell they were this time not even metaphorically dragged into it's totally reasonable to look at one another and go GOD. it was so simple with you!!!!!

and while also 3. the speech itself was ... a death speech to be later quoted and reminisced upon a la "but you need to go on your rv trip!!! you can't die here!!!" and he'll go "you idiot... the six little nuggets were you guys all along" and 4. within the Literal speech itself he SAID the kids were "practice" and it was probably only ever intended to be a way to show his genuine connection to them and was never meant to be taken quite so literally as "i actually want 6 real life children that you my future wife will birth", it's also tied into 5. i am so fucking scared right now. and we used to be in love. and you're sitting next to me while my throat hurts from the ligature wounds given to me by a monster and you appreciate how i also represent a sense of typicality and grounded preparedness that you sometimes feel you need. and you're also scared. and i want to be normal and i want to be happy and i want us to be safe in the end and i want something to look forward to. and it's the simplest thing on earth -> i want to get the FUCK out of here. but we can't get the fuck out of here because we're driving towards our doom and i'm the one in the driver's seat. and i'm scared. and i want to say it because if i don't say it no one else is going to know. and she says that sounds nice because it sounds nice...

and finally 6. i think steve is like. mourning. i think he's looking at her and going i loved you once and i miss it but, integrally, it's past the point of return. we've grown and we've changed and maybe you're finally realising how much and she is so important to him and he loved her and he LOVES her but he doesn't Love her. she is the reason his life changed and maybe he never got to put to rest that he could never go back to the way it once was but he doesn't WANT to go back and he's SAYING this. he's going thank GOD you gave me the bump on the head and woke me up because i feel like i'm finally moving forwards now and i wish it could be normal but it can't and thank god for that. i am so scared of change but knowing you is what changed me and i am so happy for it. she introduced him to it all through one way or another and he never once even considered that a bad thing (though i do think he doesn't give himself enough credit etc etc). their talk in the woods before it is SO important to me because he's saying Thank you. and he's saying GOODBYE!!! he's saying yeah the person i picture next to me in this pipe dream is you because in a way it probably always will be you and because it Was always you back then. but i don't want to marry you. i want a place to settle down and have some kids even metaphorical and i know YOU don't want that. it's an acknowledgement of how much they've changed it's a conversation behind the conversation of looking into someone's eyes and telling them what you want and knowing they don't want the same and letting go of what once was even though like YEAH it's not the end of the world if there's still some sort of stirred up feelings. but it's not a love confession and it's not a man desperately trying to cling onto his ex while she (grown woman that she is) sits there and smiles at him for it and therefore turns her into a doormat and him into a creep or whatever the fuck the braindead masses are squawking about...

AND THAT IS THE REAL 6 LITTLE NUGGETS!!!! also i think to reduce two great characters independently to who they are To Each other is a disservice and there is no hidden plot within the plot dedicated to their romance in any deliberate way imo. or whatever. steve is not just Nancy's Ex and nancy is not just one half of a love interest bouncing back and forth in the worlds most tired misogyny ping pong of steve v jonathan. i think all the stuff this season it's the show's way of letting us see that nancy can see how much he's developed as a person and how even after all the hard work he himself put in for it and it's his own genuine kindness and literal body he puts in the line he still believes it's all because of her and he's grateful and while i have Low Hope i also must also have Hope that it will end... kindly. they both deserve an Ending and not just a massacre of characterisation.

[executethyself35]

3, 13, and 14 of the ask game!! Excited for your new project <33

Maaac, thank you, you godsend

3. How did your OC feel the first time they left home? Why did they leave?:

Zippo: she left Russia when she was 2 and doesn't remember much, and when she left San Francisco for the war she felt homesick but got through it pretty well

B: when she left Cuba at 5 she was upset bc her whole family was there, but when she left New York to join the effort she got over her homesickness pretty quickly and pushed through

Ollie: she was happy when she left, she felt a bit himesick, but she becoming a medic and got to be from under her parents rules

Torrie: when she left England at 10 she was upset, she was losing her friends and family, and then when she left Ireland at 15 she didn't feel as bad bc she had her whole mom's side of the family coming with her, and then when she left for the war she didn't really feel anything bc she's uped and left what she called home 2 times beforehand

Eliza: when she left home at 16 she was fucking glad, she was out of a terrible situation, and when she left to become a medic, she didn't really feel anything, girl was going through shit

Mary: she felt homesick when she left to join, but she kinda just packed that shit down and kept it bottled up bc she didn't need anyone to know that

Marselle: sweetheart was the most homesick thing ever, she joined and the whole train ride to bootcamp she was homesick

Julia: when she left home for work in Philly when she 17 she felt like every kid who moves out does, homesick but getting on with life, and when she joined up she didn't have the same feeling of homesickness

Allie: she felt free when she joined the army at 18, she didn't have to deal with her moms strict rules, but she did miss her dad and sister

13. Does your OC have any siblings? What was their relationship with their siblings growing up? If they were an only child, did they want siblings?

Zippo: she has 5 younger siblings all who she has a great relationship with except her younger brother Eli, he pisses everyone in their family off

B: she has no siblings, she used to wish to have some, but she came to see her friends as siblings

Ollie: she has 1 older brother, and they have your typical younger sister older brother relationship, they talk shit to eachother

Torrie: she has 1 younger sister, and she loves her sister with her heart and soul and would probs kill someone for her

Eliza: she has 8 other siblings, two older twin brothers who she has a terrible relationship with, 2 older twin sisters who she has an alright relationship with, 2 younger brothers and sisters who she really doesn't have a relationship with

Mary: she has 2 older brothers and an older sister, she has a pretty ok relationship with them

Marselle: she has 2 younger brothers and 2 younger sisters, she loves all of them, including her baby brother who's a knucklehead

Julia: she has 2 older brothers, an older sister, and 2 younger brothers and sisters, she got a good relationship with all of them

Allie: she has a younger sister, who she sets an example for

14. Who was your OC's first love? How do they remember that person now? (I'm going to keep these kinda vauge bc i'm trying to save it for the fic):

Zippo: never had a first love really until waay later in her life, girl just kinda messed around

B: she also just kinda got around, she didn't have time for love when she's trying to prove her mother wrong on everything

Ollie: girls track record sucks, having a fiancée she was supposed to love, who instead she hates, like she would kill that man without a problem

Torrie: she's never had time to find the right person bc she's got help take care of her sister, the fuckton of cousins she has and other kids in her neighborhood

Eliza: girl has a terrible relationship with the term love, so she never really knew if she was inlove or not

Mary: an ex bf of hers, their breakup was mutual but she still remembers the fun they had, she realized that her love for him was always more platonic than romantic

Marselle: her ex gf Lacey (yes this is based off the Olivia Rodrigo song, what abt it), it was not a good relationship, but she still remembers the good parts from their time together even if it hurts to

Julia: she never really found the one until she moved to Philly, but shit happened (saving this for the ficcc) but she found him again

Allie: now she truly never gave two fucks abt finding the one, she knew it would happen, but she never cared when it did, she had better and more important shit to do

(the only people who know the ships are @panzershrike-pretz and @turtle-toe 🤭)

[masonscig]

speaking of rebecca, am i the only one who's kind of surprised by the amount of people who hate her (valid) while also seeming to love bobby (also valid, but feels contradictory here)?

like, i can completely understand both of those takes, don't get me wrong (full disclosure of my two detectives on bobby's route carrie has a good relationship with bobby and rebecca, and avery all but hates them both) but considering rebecca's absentness and manipulative tendencies tend to be what turn people off from her it's kinda strange to see some of those same people uwuify bobby who, as an ex in particular, is explicitly stated as being manipulative to the MC during their relationship using them for information, clout, and straight up stealing their work in college. and while i get the appeal of them being like, the one anti-copaganda figure in the series now with how book 3 ends, but this is also the same bobby who to this point has canonically: been an incredibly manipulative partner in college and has continued post-breakup, has stalked the MC basically once a book, bugged their office in book 1, forced their way into the mc's apartment in book 2, tries to coerce them MC into sex to loosen their tongue on multiple occasions included multiple tries after the mc's made it clear they're no longer interested, and can be directly called out for trying to take advantage of the detectives emotional state during the kidnappings to get more info despite showing little to no sympathy for the victims being taken. even if there's good intentions there nothing about that is healthy even considering their respective careers (maybe even less so because of them).

again, not trying to bash either side of it, i guess i'm just trying to figure where people draw that line? to me they're both emotionally manipulative individuals who are trying to repair what they had with the mc to some degree and protect them, but don't know how to do it without being manipulative. they mirror each other in a lot of ways yet one seems to get a free pass more often than the other. idk maybe i'm just rambling but thanks for giving a place to do it <3

oh i LOVE this ask – and no problem at all! ramble on bestie i love reading your thoughts! <3

 i'm gonna put my response under the cut bc i have Thoughts

i do think it's wild to see how much more willing people are to forgive (is that the right phrasing? maybe tolerate is better here) bobby's behavior over rebecca's, but i think i can understand why to a certain degree

so, to clarify before i say anything, i think both of them fucking suck and should not be in mc's life for multiple reasons. bad mother, bad partner, bad friend, whatever, honestly they're doing more harm than good – it's mainly because they both aren't willing to correct their behaviors. you could argue that rebecca is, because she says it, but she doesn't do anything about it. she just says she's going to be a better mom like saying it out loud will make it true

[also i'm rereading the stuff i wrote, and this is from the perspective of someone who only picks 'have a bad relationship with rebecca' for their detectives, so take all my rambling with that in mind!]

but i think the reason rebecca cuts a lot deeper is because there's a different kind of love you're supposed to experience from either relationship. (i'm saying this generally bc from your ask i'm sure we're on the same page ab this !! it's hard to put this into words because i know that people (this includes me) have a lot of complex feelings about parental/spousal love and what standards you should have for either.

("dump him/her!" and "go no contact!" crowd, i'm sorry but i'm not heading in that direction LMAO)

for me, rebecca falls flat in a million ways, because she's trying to make up for years of being an absent parent with empty promises she's yet to fulfill. i know it takes time, as repairing any relationship does, but it does seem like she's approaching it almost in a selfish way, like mc's forgiveness will atone for the years she missed out on, when that's not even close to how these things work. and now with mc working closer with her? it'll restrain the relationship even more before it even gets to start.

she definitely doesn't think she's intending to be manipulative, but she is, by guilt tripping mc at different points throughout the series – but no matter what her intent is, the point is, she was supposed to be a loving mother to her child, and instead of leaning into that, she leaned away. she allowed her child to grow up without two parents instead of one, when unconditional love is the standard for any parent. taking out the whole "rebecca is a working parent" thing, bc that's totally okay, there's ways she could be there for her child that she just. wasn't.

instead of "my love for my child takes priority over my grief for my husband" it turned into "my grief for my husband takes priority over my love for my child" – and that's not okay.

i think bobby is bad, but at the very least, i think being fucked over and abandoned by a partner is a different kind of betrayal than having an absent parent – let me put it this way: if you have an awful romantic partner, you can move on from that by being shown what a "better" relationship looks like. that's what's happening in canon with mc, their ro, and their li. but... if mc has an awful parent (rebecca), then what's replacing that parental love? familial love from ub? that's all good and well (incredible, even), but that's not the same as love from a mother that's there but chooses not to be, you know? (also, please note, take this for as it is, because i think love comes in all shapes and forms – and i believe that you don't need a certain love to live happily, i'm just talking hypothetically about these fictional characters LMAO)

also, i think that if you choose to have a good relationship with rebecca, it's still not a good look – i said this in another ask, but i think that rebecca approaching certain situations the same way regardless of her relationship with mc feels intentional, whether or not m*shka intended that to happen. it's further proof that rebecca won't (can't, isn't willing to) change i think

i feel like this ask got away from me bc i started thinking less about people forgiving rebecca/bobby and more about why i think rebecca is worse SORRY DGKMMDKGKMG

OKAY i need to stop myself bc i know i have a lot of thoughts and i could probably talk forever about this but i am shutting the fuck up now LMFAO

[ungirthed]

1. Atla does not know the history or realities of imperialism and settler colonialism and i guess fascism but all these things NEED REASONS FOR ORDER. One of an economic and expansionist fashion seen through decimation of cultures and building complex intricate social relations to maintain that order for material reasons. This show doesn’t know or do that bc the writers have never read books pertaining to this. I GUARANTEE YOU they didn’t read fanon or like someone mentioned in a (not rly well researched) video breaking down the live action cedric j robinson who wrote black marxism

2. Aang is 12. This is a kids show. Nothing and i mean NOTHING that was written in this show indicated that aang would be ok with direct murder. The show flirts with death and people killing others but never explicitly shows it or people survive. They have killed multiple ppl just u know. Not the way we think. Anyway at no point in time would Aang have done that and it works bc it is a kids show. Pretty sure turtle duck wasnt a deus ex machina but i am also an adult

3. Pertaining to 2, bc the fandom has been lured into this false sense of the show being anti colonial this means that the solution Aang came up with isnt good enough. Not sure why because it seems most of these ppl dont know what they’re talking about so: why did he need to die? But otoh wtf is “breaking a cycle of violence” fuck that. But yea a 12 yr old buddhist monk wouldnt do that. Hes not a 20 yr old freedom fighter in Algeria. The writers probably didnt even think of algeria. Lmao

4. It is a kids show and since the above are not understood why are u arguing abt a 12 yr old. A sweet well written vegetarian angry bb

I refuse to believe Aang would be a bad dad but this is what the internet is telling me and therefore it must be true. Like with all the headcanons i am learning:

Aang is an asshole ? As seen by being a pre teen. I think

Azula has to be a lesbian or u murdered ur family. Also apparently she had friends (she didnt). You should feel bad for her if u think abt it (no)

Iroh is a bad uncle (???????????????)

Aang SINGLE HANDEDLY ruined everything he touched

Aang fucking sucks

Aang didnt kill someone and it isnt explained why one thinks that isnt a good end it just is bad bc aang is bad and even tho hes 12 hes actually 24

What is true that i am also learning: this show has nooooooooooooooo grasp of the true nature of imperialism and colonialism and neither do the fans whose only understanding of those things is via a tv show

[probablydinosaurs]

this was originally a twitter thread but mehhhh. the audience of one-two here get my insane venting instead. its 3am. I've had a rough day and I just want to list it out from worst to least worst. sorry if this is venting. again 3am. 1: my sister showed up completely unannounced, and waltzed in a fight with my other sister and her husband at their place. she had good reason to be here (she's homeless and is a fuckin ice age here. that's not a problem. we are glad she went to us for help.)-sadly she's an entitled fuck who begged my dad for cigs when we have NOTHING BUT A ROOF to give. its SCARY how poor we are. She was also VERY TRANSPHOBIC, which was not on my sister's bingo card this year. mainly about trans woman and their "complaining". my already shit sister saying terf shit was not smth i thought id hear. i was very upset about that. i haven't talked to her bc ik if i do, il cry but I've been giving her the silent treatment unless it's akward. 2: i have covid. had symptoms since like the 13th (i joked that i got it for my birthday) and its been a nightmare. i can't sleep. Eating sucks. my nose hurts. i think i blew a blood vessel in my eye. its just been the worst. 3: due to being unable to sleep, im wildly manic at 3am. i have nothing to do and no one to talk to. and im unreasonably upset that people on tiktok think Spongebob is a kid. like boi your face screams "post movie" pleaaasseee educate yourself on cartoon history. he is an adult! 4: after ALLL of this like 7 mins ago, the fire alarm randomly beeped a few times. luckily not a lot but still. stressed me the FUCK OUT. nothing is on. i think bc its the FUCKIN ICE AGE OUTSIDE, the apartment is a TAD too warm (witch its not. my feet are frozen)

5: found out today that scientists didn't start using real menstrual blood on pads/tampons till AUGUST OF LAST YEAR??? WTF WERE U USING BEFORE? That's why pads are always off SOMEHOW. SOMEHOW there's an issue. and tampons never fit right. they have been fuckin guessin for decades 6: my new cat is a needy hoe. I'm used to it but with covid and barely being able to walk/exist, her sweving between my legs is a nightmare. I always have to throw a bottle cap down the hallway just so she doesn't get in my room. 7: been on upsetting media tiktok. why the fuck is there a fandom forming around a vent cartoon about S/A???? like I won't say its bad but that's not a FANDOM THING! yall are fucked up (also it parodies the peewee's playhouse op and that bugs me. i love peewee.)

interlude: my needy hoe of a cat is named peewee (well to my mom, it's now Princess Pipsqueak but thats not a good name to say in frustration as I'm trying to exist down the hallway. also, we thought she was a boi at first and she has a face that looks like paul Reubens's. I still see it. 8: I have used up all the TP and tissues in the house and have been using paper towels to blow my nose, which is roughing up my already red sore nose. I put gold bond on my nose and it BURNED but now it feels smoother. 9: i feel like i annoy people with my Hannibal hyperfixation. i have yet to truly let it spread here but it's EVERYWHERE ELSE. (and il probs reblog this onto my hannibal blog so hiiiii) and yet it feels like no one cares. ik it's a bit niche, upsetting not everyones thing but Ive NEVER loved smth more and it hurts when i don't talk about it I just. want to get someone into it. someone else got me into it and it means a lot. I hope they are doing ok. I'm grateful they gave me my favorite hyperfixation ever. I've littrally never loved anything more. and I've been into a LOT of stuff. i was called annoying by an ex friend because i got into things too much. and to them, "too much" was anything that wasn't "i like this thing. i think this thing is good and cool. lets rp weird incest about it." (i hate my teen years) but like. that ex friend would HAAAAATE by hyperfixatiing now. i have friends to ENABLE ME NOW. 10: just added this one. kinda put two and two together that corp vtubers birthdays most likely aren't their real birthdays. everyone is celebrating a graduated corps bday and yet they moved to another company and like. no birthday in sight. and it feels weird to latch onto their old persona's bday when they are right there with probs a new (and more real maybe) birthday. you can actually go celebrate with them whenever their "new" birthday is and yet you are clinging to the past. especially since they are THRIVING where they are rn and were not happy as a bigger corp.

thats a bout it. thanks if u saw this and read. its ok if you didnt. i just had a LOT go on lately.

[candy-pants]

Oh no I’m so sorry!! I hesitated to say anything cuz I wasn’t sure if you were just taking your time lol. Sorry we’re down to the last day but let’s pack in a lot of questions in that case!! First off, Ashley is kinda slaying in that vid ngl. And I love learning more about latam Disney channel, thanks for sharing!! What show were they on?? And you have a point about Sabrina lol. Switching gears, ofc ik you love descendants and mal and Ben in particular, who are your favs outside of the core four and why? What are your fav ships besides bal and why? And what are your biggest hopes for rise of red? I hope you have a great holiday and enjoy your gift tomorrow!! Sorry again for the miscommunication!! -gcwca secret Santa

don't worry! i was thinking you were busy or something so i didn't say anything either sdjhdhdsj i know tumblr tends to be the worst functioning website on the planet but we're all still here so i guess that says something about us

okay this is gonna be a long one buckle up

1 - they were in a show called que talento! (yes with an exclamation point) and they were basically playing themselves if they went to high school and were still amateurs lol i really liked the theme song but only the show version bc the studio version sounds awful sorry bruno i know you produced it but it sucks

2 - out of the core four (and ben) i have to say uma is a huge fav for me, probably my 3rd favorite character of the franchise. when i heard china anne mcclain was back on disney channel to play her i was sooooo excited and i can't imagine anyone better for the role. i love that she has such a strong sense of justice and community even if her ways aren't necessarily the best. obviously i love that the franchise makes sure to let us know she and mal are two sides of the same coin and if they weren't both so proud and stubborn they'd be friends, but i like that uma isn't just a carbon copy of mal like they're very much two different characters. uma is driven by collectiveness and she cares so hard about everybody it's almost aggressive and she's such a great example of leadership on the isle (as acknowledged by both ben in d2 and mal in d3 (and as a side note i'm obsessed with mal, ben and uma's dynamic and i could ramble on about it for the next 10 years but that's not the point)) and if i don't stop now this is gonna turn into a mal vs uma analysis

3 - i really really love the idea that mal and uma are exes. like to me that's just canon and no one is gonna tell me otherwise bc it doesn't contradict anything! "and how would you know, mal? you've never had [a boyfriend]" so in my head she could have dated uma idc it was probably quick and messy bc they would have this toxic power struggle which ultimately ends in mal not letting her join the gang. i think they would absolutely kill each other as a couple now bc of how similar they are but as exes? hell yeah that's a vibe

as for present day relationships i'm a fan of harry and uma getting together at some point in the future bc lbr those two are in a weird situationship lmao i also love jay and gil!!! very unexpected but jay realizing how jaded he's become after seeing the beauty of gil experiencing things with such wonder and then deciding to do a gap year so they can travel the world together is something that can actually be so personal

ALSO i'm not usually one for crackships but harry x evie had me like 👀 in d3 bc sorry wtf is this

for the record i don't think they should realistically get together, i don't think they'd work out, but the chemistry is there and for some reason kenny chose to highlight it so idk

4 - oooo so rise of red. here's the thing. i'm fully expecting this movie to be bad sdjdshjdjhsjdh i'm mostly worried about these seemingly amateur writers they got. like. even if descendants is its own little fanfiction thing let's at least try to make things coherent inside its own universe. the fact that they all went to school together defeats the purpose of beast UNITING THE KINGDOMS but well anyway let's see what they're gonna do

i like jennifer phang as a director though! she did two eps of cloak and dagger (one of which is 2x01, one of my personal favs) and the pilot of secrets of sulphur springs, so i know she's competent. and mark hofeling is coming back which is GREAT bc changing the production designer would be a terrible move for a spin-off partly set in present day. i just wish kara saun would come back to do the costumes but oh well

i'm so excited to see your gift!!!!! i hope you have a great holiday as well!!!!!!

[makowo]

I posted 6,043 times in 2022

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I tagged 5,869 of my posts in 2022

Only 3% of my posts had no tags

#misc - 3,096 posts

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My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

[no no go off flood my tags it is super weird about how Kyoko is given a hope obsession despite her just trying to make a clever compliment and I don't get how he needs better friends, like his friends are willing to harbor terrorist fugitives for him what more do you want.]

okay okay okay. SO.

Kyoko is most fucking definitely not hope obsessed. i dont know how people were led to interpret her like this, but it's obvious if you think about her backstory, motivations, and actions for a even few minutes.

Kyoko is someone entirely defined by her logical way of thinking, and is literally written to directly contrast Makoto's more emotional thought process. She makes no direct reference to Hope and Despair as actual concepts or sides to take, other than in the final trial, when everyone has to do that. She calls Makoto the Ultimate Hope with no idea that it would really catch on, or that this would be a title with any weight.

Hell, Makoto isn't even that hope-obsessed, none of the dr1 cast is (except Junko ofc, though obsessed with opposition to it). He mentions it a lot because he's gotta as the Ultimate Hope, and the world is kinda defined by this conflict. Nagito and Munakata are the only major characters that could be defined like this directly, tbh

Makoto also already has great friends. It's just that at that point, they had known each other for a month, wherein that entire month was dictated by a high stress situation where any of these strangers could be plotting their murder at any moment. The reason Kyoko is the one to save Makoto is not because she's the only one that cared, she's the only one that was entirely convinced of both his innocence and survival.

The others had to have known in some way that Makoto was innocent, even though Kyoko certainly informed none of them of this. But Monokuma had stuck tightly to this idea of following the rules he set, and the fifth trial was really out of left field. I can't blame them for not trying to go save Makoto because they had no idea if he even survived that execution anyway, and if they didnt vote for someone during that trial, they would all die. It was a lose-lose situation, with no right answer to it.

(I will say however that canon does NOT do well with showing how they would have grown closer after escaping HPA, and that scene in the cafeteria where everyone backs off from him like that was just a bad attempt to shove in some comedy to lighten the tension. This doesn't immediately mean they're assholes to him tho, just stop taking canon at face value like that.)

In the end, I do think some of this can also be attributed to Makoto fans entirely misinterpreting Makoto's character. I'm sure you've seen the Jesus Makoto posts, as well as lots of people viewing him as pure and without fault without thinking abt any of his actions (blatantly points at sdr2) critically, nor even probing the surface of his character. I don't need to say anything more.

43 notes - Posted March 19, 2022

#4

we all know that if naekusaba somehow happened at some point in canon then they'd definitely be awkward exes at best right. like we all are aware that makoto hears abt her crush on him and felt kinda bad, so he tried to make her happy by giving it a try. it couldnt work out at all though bcs mukuro likes him just because he smiled at her once, cant hold a conversation for the life of her, and generally doesn't have the personality nor any interests that would mesh well with his at all. the only reason it lasts as long as two months is bcs makoto doesn't have the heart to back out and mukuro doesn't want to acknowledge the truth of the situation. it's painfully obvious to everyone else though, so someone steps in because it's just unbearable to watch it go on for any longer

43 notes - Posted February 18, 2022

#3

we could be doing something very neat with despair makoto aus yknow.

something about the Ultimate Hope title being inherently cursed for the superiority it gives over other people while also constantly perpetrating the concept of Ultimates as a whole.

something about how it is a title given to those that managed to survive extreme suffering that they should never have had to go through, but only puts them further away from others around them.

something about the way it makes others glorify the person; they are brought to being a symbol of something greater, a herald of a new age. An expected martyr, at worst. that person isnt a person anymore, just a stand-in for something greater

something about how it would inevitably destroy even the kindest people, because no person could bear that weight. The inevitable end is destruction of others and the self, because there's far too much strain put upon a person who got this title for going through something horrible.

no matter how much good it symbolizes, no matter how much good can be done with it, it still holds a similar standing as Ultimate Despair. opposites inevitably reflect one another.

45 notes - Posted June 2, 2022

#2

see if you're going to make Naegi an angel or some divine, powerful thing in an au you have to do it with some amount of irony. it is integral to Naegi's character that he is from a very normal background, a completely innocuous person who is thrust into the limelight via the most stressful method possible. You can't get around that fact without rewriting a huge chunk of what caused him to be a kind, compassionate person.

it feels just. Wrong. when Makoto starts out special. that role of being special must be thrust upon him, or it be previously stated that he wasn't always such a person. Makoto is a normal guy who must suddenly need to take on the great responsibility of leading others, due to his stellar performance of leading others in a deeply traumatizing event.

if he's specifically stated to be the one and only person able to be this beacon of hope, and/or takes it with absolute grace, then like. what the Fuck is the point yknow. that's not Makoto, that's an ideal version of Makoto that completely undermines his extremely average background, and his continuous troubles with self-esteem and the lack of experience he has in being "special".

62 notes - Posted June 19, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

543 notes - Posted March 3, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[anonymouslylovesyou]

Bridgerton ep 3

Opens with a gay as hell dance nobody involved is beating the allegations

It seems to be some sort of dream sequence bc all of a sudden everyone else is gone

DAPHNE'S DREAM? Damn I for sure though it was Simon's she's gotta play this so so cool I'm rooting for you Daph

THREE PROPOSES

Bro why is he sucking that spoons dick

Penelope! We haven't seen her in a while

Not Penelope obviously standing in the doorway

Her mom is so right marry your bestie

A whole ass parrot is at this dance, multiple parrots even

Not her glancing at him while dancing with other people

Not them making fun of the people fawning over the prince

Oop Anthony's ex appears

Local rich siblings do not know how to work a stove

"He prefers it that way" bullshit man

Daphne has fallen 😭😭

Marina is back in the game, against her will

Ah the prince I forgot about him. I only have room in my heart for 1 blonde man and currently it's Jace Stardiamond

OH Marina is getting rude but also yeah she should

Sir maybe you should take up Painting if you have all these art opinion

Damn politely rejecting the prince to hang out with your boyfriend

"Excessive pride suits you Miss Bridgerton" Me and who

They're a good couple bc they love to do bits together

Also girlie you're alone with him, your reputation

"This one is intimate" and their hands drift together and they start holding hands

Feigned swoon

Ah not going to the opera to hook up with that girl

One of the brothers is trying art

Marina was brought to the slums and continues to stand firm

Local man can't give his girlfriend sex ed

SIMON BABY YOU CANNOT START SEX ED WITH WHEN YOU TOUCH YOURSELF

Shit man he's so hot tho

Love that his advice is "give yourself an orgasm and that'll help you pick out a man"

Everyone including his surrogate mom is telling him to put a ring on it

Eloise is smoking again, giving good advice being upset at the life of being a women

Love the sibling interactions on this show

Oh shit there's so much onscreen sex in this show it'd wild

NO HES BREAKING UP WITH HER

"We were never friends" KILL HIM DAPHNE

"You were a convenience" I WILL KILL HIM ACTUALLY

Man fuck this guy <- guy who does know this will be resolved happily

Get his ass Siena, do not let him win you back so you can just be the other woman

Penelope close the door this is top secret letter

Oh shit Marina crying and that wretched bitch Georgw is a disloyal bastard

OH NO I WAS WRONG FUCKED UP OF PENELOPES MOM

Sad that we don't get anything about Penelope's sisters

Daphne be the star you deserve it show him why he shouldn't dumped you!

Every! Eye! On! Her!

Not a shot of the Prince cutting in front of Simon come on

Her hair looks so good

Her dropping her fan was such a move, that's going in your book man

I wanna do these fancy little ballroom dances so fucking bad

[thegeminisage]

QUICK update on the end of tng season 1 since i didn't have time last night. yesterday i watched "we'll always have paris" and then last night we also caught "conspiracy" and "the neutral zone."

we'll always have paris: NOT as bad as i feared. i did think picard making eyes at his ex for 20 minutes while her husband was dying in sickbay was kind of shitty of both of them but i REALLY liked the time distortion. it was soooo spooky and cool the elevator thing genuinely wigged me the fuck out

EVERY time picard tells data to stop talking i want to kill him <3

i'm surprised beverly didn't have a moment at the end where picard like offered her a kind word or something to help her with her Problems this episode but actually all she did was tell deanna she didn't want to talk about it and that was the end. ik it's doing her dirty but i actually respect her for that. none of anybody's business. i wish she'd stop crushing on picard though i feel like she could do better

anyway data's big moment at the end was very cool. i trust him so much he's my best friend

conspiracy: bugs bad. ohhh my god i can't believe none of you warned me

anyway it's weird because this should have been the season finale, given that it was brought up multiple times previously. or maybe only one time?

also love and light captain picard is the DUMBEST bitch on the face of this earth or galaxy or whatever. what part of KEEP IT A SECRET did he not understand...first he told deanna dnt hen will and then his ENTIRE bridge crew and then he went to confront the bad guys directly! yes it worked out for him but sir what the fucj

i did like that starfleet guys were basically getting hullened. killjoys i miss you. liked it less that there were BUGS.

i LOVED the riker fakeout but unfortunately i was hiding my eyes during that part because again, bugs

were walker and wesley's dad and picard like the three musketeers of tos...was this the implication...man that sucks. i would have actually been interested in that relationship if they had bothered to comment on it at all

VERY exciting to see a vulcan again!! so unfortunate that he was hullened.

anyway, for the buildup it got the actual resolution felt anticlimactic and very easily solved and it WASN'T EVEN. the season finale. whatever, tng

the neutral zone: WE'RE SO BACK. i like how this whole episode was an excuse for the romulans to be like lol we're back. that's an extremely bad and dumb premise but good for them

love that worf is anti-romulan. sorry about your parents king

those frozen bitches made me so mad. well just that one guy. i wanted picard to give him the business so bad. like when mike threw that fork in the bear. i don't even like picard and i would have been cheering him on. unfortunately he did not yell at the capitalist. even when the capitalist SNUCK ONTO THE BRIDGE.

guy with a southern accent did a good job. too good. don't like that

i felt the worst for the blonde woman bc she didn't ask for this but picard to will was like i need you to keep these people under control and he didn't and then he said to deanna i need to to keep these people undercontrol and then love and light she just hung out with this lady all episode. then when he was like (to security) gyet this man off the bridge they just stopped and stared at the romulans. what are we fucking doing on this ship

anyway even for all that data was right to revive them i can't believe so many people were incredulous that he wanted to do the compassionate thing and rescue a derelict vessel with human beings aboard. i thought starfleet was all about that shit?? jesus christ

anyway we are about to do "the child" and the summary looks bad so pray. pray.

[millenialfanfictionaddiction]

Hey mom! It's been a while but I just wanted to get this off my chest b3cause school drama sucks.

Basically I'm going to NYC for a competition but here's the thing, the last time we went on competition trip there were so many messes the teacher had to get involved bc it was THAT bad. And the thing is that I can already feel that something bads gonna happen between me and a girl I'll call, L. She basically went behind a very good friend (ill call em IG) of mine's back and sent their convo to their ex (L was friends with both IG and their ex) and then L also has an odd sense of humor that isn't really funny most of the time. AND THEN another girl from my group just told my good ass friend (call em A) that they "didn't want to work and that it all sounded too hard 🥺" LIKE GIRL YOU LITERALLY PAYED $1,400 DOLLARS FOR THIS TRIP AND NOW YOU DON'T WANNA WORK???!! BSFFR

AND IT GETS WORSE! I also JUST found out that my ex is:

1. on the school watch list for potential school 🔫er.

2. Spread PRIVATE information about TWO of his friends to other people and then proceeded to still call em his close friends, like what????

3. is a pathological liar

4. brought weapons to school

5. tried to break up his friend group for literally no reasons by making up lies about his friend group shit talking his friend (one od the ones he spread private info abt)

6. punched a 12 year old girl bc he disagreed with her and his ex-partner (ye she punched the little sister of someone he was dating, idk what went through his mind to do such a thing)

And that's all that I can remember at THIS moment. God knows what else he's done. I would’ve never in a million years dated him, had I known this.

Anyways mom, my life is 100000% hectic rn and I feel like I'm in the middle of a high school drama TV show. smh, wish me luck on NYC, I can feel that I'll need it 😔

First off hi Pluto!! It’s been a while for sure!!

Second off, wow.. just wow! That’s honestly so much to be going through! I’m so sorry you have to deal with all this stupid drama! It sounds like everyone is turning what could be a really fun time into drama which just ruins it for everyone!

Also you’re ex sounds awful! A lot of times we don’t find out things until after we’ve either A) left the relationship or B) been involved in all the crap surrounding it. Don’t blame yourself for what you didn’t know!

Also I wish you the best luck in NYC!!!

Side note: you can totally stop reading here if you’d like to skip my “mom input” 😅 I can honestly say I have no idea what is like being a teen today. I was a teen in the early 00s. Essentially “social media” and “the internet” we all know now, wasn’t like what it is now. I didn’t have a phone until I was 16 and I never had free internet access until I was in college. The things I hear about teens, the internet and just in life makes me feel like my teen years were a cake walk. It’s funny looking 15 plus years back and laughing at the drama that happened in high school and how it seems so insignificant. I really hope things settle down for you!

[creampuffqueen]

Ranking 'GUTS' by Olivia Rodrigo

holy shit guys i've been listening to this on REPEAT for DAYS now i'm in love with this album

so i thought i'd do a quick ranking <3

bad idea, right? - OUGHHHH i love this. obsessed with the beginning where you can hear the knocking and she does this breathy little 'hey' that makes me crazy. also it's just a fucking bop. yes queen hell yeah sleep with your ex (this does NOT apply to any of my irl friends none of y'all should get back with your exes)

making the bed - i relate to this a concerning amount, actually. feeling so tired of your own life but you can't complain really because you did this yourself, this is what you wanted!!! AGHGHGHGHGHG

all american bitch - HER VOICE AT THE BEGINNING. her voice is actually beautiful. it's so soft and airy and i'm obsessed with it. and then she's just screaming and that's too relatable tbh

ballad of a homeschooled girl - i'm not homeschooled and i think my social skills are adequate but i still fucking adore this song. it goes so hard

get him back! - loving the double meaning of the title. get back with him but also get him back for all the shit he put you through. she's so real for this

love is embarrassing - she's so right!!! it really is!!! also a huge bop

pretty isn't pretty - ITS IN MY PHONE ITS IN MY HEAD ITS IN THE BOYS I BRING TO BED!!!! she's so right it's all so fucked up!!! you'll never ever be good enough and it SUCKS you can't do ANYTHING ABOUT IT

vampire - once again, HER VOICE. it's so good in this. song got a lil tiktokified but it's okay bc the whole thing is a really good song

lacy - good but i will say the comparison of 'skin like puff pastry' does not do well for my head lmao. i don't think you want skin like puff pastry. but how her voice is so soft for this whole thing just sends me into the astral plane. i'm reading this as a song about beauty standards and anyone who is saying this is about her specifically liking girls needs to stop. let's quit speculating on celebrities' sexualities please. but otherwise a good song

logical - good. really good. i like it a lot, it's just not on the same level as the others i like

teenage dream - WHAT IF I DONT GET BETTER???? too real

the grudge - eh. not my fav. also don't like how everyone thinks this is about taylor swift. can we pleaseeeee stop digging into celebrities' personal lives and pitting them against each other?? just stop

overall suchhh a fucking good album. even the songs low on the list i still scream along to. no skips!!!!

[seaottersandstrings]

something lgbt just happened to me (extreme emotional pain edition)

(ignore me I just need an internet void to scream in where she wont see it or read if you’re nosy and willing to be nice about it)

(also if anyone has any advice for how to not be so fucked up about the girl who is kinda your ex but not really (in the “never actually dated but we both had feelings and acted like it a lot” way) officially dating a new person for the first time since she shattered your heart into a million tiny pieces please dm me said advice this is 100% serious)

like we have all the same friends and it’s been over half a year so I feel weird talking to irl people about it. even I am surprised at how intensely the emotions punched me in the lungs when she told us she has a bf now. like cmon brain I knew we weren’t over this but I thought we were at least getting better. 

also there’s the added fun layer of “her own internalized biphobia and biphobic family members made it so our connection was always laced with shame and repression and suffering anyway.” and now she gets to celebrate this moment with friends and family and do boy talk with her mom and ask her parents for advice about this guy she’s known for a couple months and have an easy friends to lovers arc with him. while I was stuck listening to her family coo over how she should get back with her ex bf once he transferred to our college while she and I were literally sleeping in the same bed the night before. but bc I’m not a guy ofc nothing could possibly have been going on there. 

like you’re telling me I was in a years-long, will-they-won’t-they sufferfest where I was embarrassingly emotionally devoted to this person only for npc #3 to crawl out of the woodwork and get the instant stamp of approval for wanting to get to know her better and giving it the old college try? 

and to be clear I’m not blaming her she feels how she feels and obviously the bi/homophobia is a societal/community level issue. it just sucks so bad to fall so deeply in love with someone over such a long time and have those feelings be treated less seriously because of things we can’t control. like just on top of the regular heartbreak of it all. and believe me the regular heartbreak of it all is more than enough for my little eggshell heart to handle. 

and on a regular heartbreak level it also sucks because she’s a good person that I genuinely care about on a non-romantic level and still think very highly of. like our relationship wasn’t and still isn’t perfect but she’s one of the best people in my life and an objectively decent human being. so it’s not like I can even rationalize to myself “well it was toxic” (actually maybe the dynamic was but like SHE wasn’t a toxic person y’know) or “she treated me badly” or “she sucks so I’m better off now anyway.” like no she’s wonderful and her new bf is very lucky life just sucks sometimes. 

did I mention she and I are still best friends and even though we live in different cities now which helps I still have to pretend to be totally 100% excited about this for the sake of being a good bestie? like god I love being a lesbian if I had to do life all over again and got a choice I would choose to be queer every single goddamn time. but this is the most painful shit I’ve ever felt in my life and that’s a pretty high bar at this point. especially since this is technically not my first heartbreak but it’s my first one since realizing I’m a lesbian and not bi and started having a lot of The Piercing Loneliness of Breaking Every Societal Expectation feelings about it. like I think my brain was unintentionally pulling a “maybe I’ll turn out normal-passing” on itself (which is total bullshit) for a while there. and even though I know that was bullshit coming to terms with being a lesbian was so much harder for me than coming to terms with being queer at all and everything related to it has just felt so much more intense since. 

and on some level I’m also jealous bc she got out and can have a relationship she can celebrate and talk about with her family without fear and I can never have that. like bi people obviously go through so much shit and have a hard time getting both straight and gay people to take them seriously and as someone who lived that (in the “other people treated me like I was bi bc we all thought I was” sense) and thought that was who I was for 7 years I would never want to diminish that but oh my god being on the other side now I can understand how easy it is to let yourself get bitter. And I never want to be that person but at the same time speaking purely of my own experience it didn’t take me so long (2+ years) to figure out I was a lesbian because I just didn’t know like at some point deep down I knew especially near the end of my questioning era but I kept asking myself “well are you SURE?” because didn’t want to face the loneliness of it. Of closing the door on the last possible chance I had for my family and I to bond over something in a normal way for once. And coming out again was incredibly freeing but I also had to be willing to break my own heart to do it and the compounding heartbreak is just so much. 

anyway if anyone is reading this I love you and I hope you’re having a better day than me. happy new year.