#not bc of their history or anything its just a coincidence that it happens to be the zombie corpse of her ex that finds and kills her

[bluejaybytes]

The worst part about having let myself post about my own OCs is that they're on my mind constantly and everythings already outdated. I'm like if Sisyphus was a lesbian

[phantomyre]

following the train of thought that EC-vincent is a different timeline from rebirth-vincent, does that suggest that the entirety of EC could be just /one particular timeline's series of events/ instead of The History? or is this divergence just for vincent?

for example- does it make sense to consider EC-glenn to be different from rebirth-glenn & etc etc?

(wanted to get your thoughts if you had any)

Hey there, and thank you for the question! I do have a few thoughts on it, albeit I try to approach it based on what we've been given across all recent information so it might sound a tad generic. Long post... (sorry, I got carried away lol)

[Preface] As is already obvious, it would appear that of all the main party members, Vincent's the only odd-ball out in terms of his appearance. He doesn't 'belong' to any timeline in EC unlike all the other characters who are from Remake/Intergrade/Rebirth. And I think this is for a reason. I've seen the excuse of perhaps Vincent was just modeled a long time ago, but frankly I don't think the dev team are that shallow. They've had Vincent's model for about a couple years, give or take, or at the very least his design. And they know fans would pick apart character appearances and inconsistencies if something (like Vincent) was out of place. And yet they chose to go out of their way with a totally different take than what we see in Rebirth. It would have been a lot easier to port in Vincent's Rebirth design into EC, but Nomura decided to painstakingly create Vincent from scratch for EC. What's more, we also get a completely different Galian Beast, which is also another extensive process to create. Now granted-- perhaps what we see in EC was what we were going to get in Rebirth but got scrapped, and Nomura may have been so married to Vincent's EC design that he wanted to include it instead. However, if there's anything we have learned about the FF7 dev team (and Nomura), it's that there's always some nuanced reason behind it aside from 'I spent so much time on this; just add it already'. Anyone who has been in the FF7 fandom for some length of time will know you can't always trust what the devs say 100%. They are artists, and they like to be a bit mysterious. All this is to say... I just think there's a potential lore reason for why they decided to give Vincent this unique treatment of being time-line vague. Rebirth has shown us that there isn't a single timeline but multiple worlds that diverge and merge, depending on the choices being made by those who can affect fate. So at least within Rebirth's 'world', we know that multiple worlds can exist in tandem. This concept isn't exclusive to Rebirth, however. It is also indicated (by Sephiroth) at the very beginning of Ever Crisis...

During special story-based events where a portal is involved, you'll notice that they will always have something along the lines of 'another possibility' being repeated. So in essence, while there's nothing official that states EC is its own world or timeline, we are being told that the Lifestream is capable of weaving many 'possibilities', or alternative worlds. And this is front and center with Ever Crisis and Rebirth. What's more, EC just so happens to line up with the compilation lettering system... AC, BC, CC, DC, EC... Coincidence? For those of us who know OG's story and have played EC, there are a few differences when going through the OG's story. It isn't 1:1, and some things are taken from Rebirth. One might call it abridged. So... is Ever Crisis a separate world/timeline? Maybe. In terms of Glenn, I think it's a bit early to tell because Rebirth essentially gave us a spoiler for what happens to Glenn. But First Soldier's story has yet to conclude. So in terms of Glenn, he's a bit of an outlier. I think we'll have a better answer to that when we get part 3 as I'm sure we'll see him there in some form. Though back to Vincent... While it depends on how one looks at 'worlds' or multi-timelines, I think we can mostly all agree it's not a single world. What causes this to get very convoluted is that we got Vincent who is immortal... there are many ways they could handle him being both immortal and being a part of the Lifestream's system that creates multiple worlds from choices. However, the simplest thing I can think of is that Vincent simply exists outside of time. I feel as though Vincent is described as outside of time, but I could be wrong. All I know is that in BC, Vincent does say 'The passage of time has no meaning to me'. This is going deeper into some other territory but I'll just briefly say that I believe Vincent is incapable of merging with the Lifestream... but that's for a different discussion. And because I think he cannot merge with the Lifestream, he is thus 'outside' of time if that makes sense. TLDR: I think it's very possible EC is meant to be 'another possibility' of another world created by the choices of our protagonists (and by way of logic, the choices we make as gamers). Secondly, I think this curious lack of design cohesion is specifically for Vincent, only. This may have to do with him being immortal and existing (likely) outside of time itself. I think this is their way of communicating (as all artists do) Vincent's identity to us without really divulging it. I wouldn't doubt part 3 will uncover this side of Vincent so that we can come back to EC and see a connection.

[fizzbot]

I literally just sent you one but what if. You did more. For me? :3333

9, 10, 11, 12, 18, 20, 21, 22, 24 VIOLENCE (please do not look at how I spelled it in the last one) ask game <333

3, 4, 13, 17 (This time with Octavia), 18 (Striker), 22 (Husk), 24 (This time with Fizz), 25 (This time with Charlie) for the other fandom ask game :333

JKLDHFJKLSDFHJKL NO ITS OK I LOVE GIVING YOU MY THINKIES!!!!!!!!!! :DDDDD lets do this!!!!!!!! >:333333

violence ask game og post here!

9. worst part of canon for hh, its the valangel plotline. god its so bad. you cant have a silly joke character also be a horrific abuser, you have to pick one. also dont hire rape fetish artists to handle a very real?? issue?? hello??? for hb,,,,,i gotta pick the same vein and give it to stolitz. I KNOW I KNOW i bitched a lot about them in the last answer post but JKLSDFJKLHJKf IT MAKES ME SO MAD. especially bc (much like hazbin) the original plot of the story is SO FUCKING GOOD. a group of low-ranking hell creatures run an illegal business where the access the human realm??? ARE YOU KIDDING ME. THATS SO GOOD. i love that its a direct parallel to hazbin's "solving the overpopulation" main plot JKLSHDFJKLDS ITS SO FUNNY AND SO PERFECT AND WE WERE ROBBED IN BOTH SHOWS FOR VIVZIES STUPID FUCKING FETISH BAIT

10. worst part of fanon the vivzie dickriders are so goddamn annoying. ive noticed that this is kind of a trend in any media that has a large "critic" audience. like it also totally happened with miraculous ladybug. but for some reason when a bunch of people hate on the show bc it sucks, mostly bc the creator also sucks, it spawns a parallel group of people who will defend anything and everything about it. like there are people who devote entire blogs and accounts to ""disproving"" vivzie allegations (which no one has ever done successsfully btw bc she did all of the shit shes being accused of). and theres people who will defend every shitty plotpoint and piece of bad writing and leave no room for nuance. like, yes, im critical of the shows, but i can admit theres good in them. obviously i enjoy them enough to have a sideblog for them. but like. these people dont understand that its GOOD to critisize media, ESPECIALLY media that you like. its important to acknowledge when certain trends can be seen in the work, because otherwise youre going to be more susceptible to being negatively influenced. like, vivzie has history of antiblackness/racism/antisemitism. is it a coincidence that these people are horribly misrepresented in the show?

11. number of fandom-related words you've filtered only 2 related to the hellaverse actually!! but ive had to put a whole bunch of different variants/spellings. i have radioapple and adamsapple blocked just cause theyre the most prevalent ships that i dont like.

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them MIMZY. i fucking love her SO MUCH!!!!!! :DDDDDDDD part of why i despise radioapple and its shippers so much is bc so much of the fandom hates her for ""interrupting their moment"". SHUT THE FUCK UP shes the best part of their song and also the best girl and shes so pretty and cute and youre all WRONG for hating her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! light of my life <333333333 spinoff show about just mimzy immediately

18. it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on... rosie x mimzy :(((((((( they dont even have a proper, fully agreed upon shipname. i thought you all loved old women yuri :/// also POLYVEES????? i am SOOOOO sick of the ""vel and her gay dads"" shit. it is so goddamn annoying. VOX CALLS HER "MY DEAR". VAL CALLS HER "BABYDOLL." theyre all fucking.

20. part of canon you found tedious or boring honestly? all of hazbin. the heaven arc was just SO rushed and still felt like the same thing was happening every episode. helluva never/hasnt become tedious to me just bc its so much more episodic i think

21. part of canon you think is overhyped the fuckin. shipping. stolitz in helluva is SOOOOOO hyped and for NOTHING and the whole war was hyped in hazbin and yet was also so incredibly nothing. OH AND PENTIOUS' REDEMPTION??? everyones acting like its the most interesting plot twist ever as if it doesnt suck objectively

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores loona and via ://// the only time i see them talked about is when people are shipping them which is gross. i really really really want to see more of them and have them be developed more and given personalities outside their shitty fathers.

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse VALANGEL. OH MY GODDDDDDDDD i fucking HATE hearing ""hot takes"" about that arc. THEYRE NEVER HOT TAKES. EVER. theyre just excusing vals actions or excusing VIVS actions in making it. I HATE IT SO MUCH

fandom ask game og post here!

3. NoTP? OOH. i have a bunch. ummm. literally any striker ship that isnt blitzker. striker x chaz, striker x moxxie, striker x millie, striker x sallie, striker x stella, etc etc i could literally list them all day. i hate all of them. every single one cannot work without mischaracterizing him to hell. he works with blitz because theyre equals and they LIKE EACH OTHER. OH DUH radioapple!!!! literally biggest NOTP ever i fucking hate them. i hate adamsapple, and cherrisnake, anddddd.......there are obviously more but im blanking. some i dislike for more innocent reasons. like any ship with tex and/or any ship with sallie? i hate all of them just because those characters are so. Nothing. they have 0 substance apart from being sexualized

4. Is there a popular pairing you don't necessarily dislike but aren't too invested in? OH well i guess i kinda answered this above hsdjkf. i guess my hottest take is fallenstar (chaggie) and m&m. i simply do not give a shit about them. i care a LITTLE more for vega n charlie, but like. pretty much JUST because theyre sapphic. what does m&m have going for them, they are literally textbook boring married couple. who give a shit

13. What's a character or ship you haven't written/drawn yet but would like to some day? sjkdfhjksdf ive doodled them beforrreeeee but ive gotta draw more verbie <////3 im thinkin about making a finished piece for them they are CUTE.......otherwise i think ive drawn/written about like everyone i care for sjkdfhjsdkf

17. What's a book, movie, or show you think [Octavia] would like? AWW this is cute....ummmm!!!!! a piece of lore i just made up for her is that i think shes rlly interested in human culture. like she likes movies from earth, and literature from up there, so on and so forth <3333 shes really into horror movies but specifically the old and bad ones <3333 she will rattle off 100000 facts to you about how they made that fake blood for that scene or "did you know they used a REAL chainsaw?". i think she has an affinity for the macabre BUT i also think she has a bit of a soft spot. she was kind of robbed of a proper childhood a little bit (as were most goetians) so shes a sucker for sappy soft stuff too. she casually watches mlp or care bears and plays lots of minecraft and terraria <3

18. Type [Striker's]'s name and tell us what the autocomplete suggests as the next word shjkdfhjksdfhjkfsd ok so i wasnt sure whether this meant using google autocomplete or phone autocomplete. i tried google first and my only result was 'striker helluva boss' cause thats what i google for art ref. but then i tried it on my phone and. uh........................................................................this is so embarassing. i pulled out my phone and pressed the middle autocomplete button a few times and it landed on 'striker tying up blitzos arms'...........LISTEN. IT WAS BECAUSE I WAS WRITING DOWN THIS ART IDEA AND IT REMEMBERED. WHY DID IT REMEMBER

22. Give us a headcanon for [Husk] UMMMM!!!!!!! it is so muc harder to come up with these for characters i dont relate to as much..........i am so sorry but i have literally thought for so long and cant come up with anything that you havent already said <////////////////////333

24. What's your favourite thing about [Fizz]? i remember really not thinking anything of it at the time but i LOVE the transition of how he is in public/at ozzies to how he is at home!!!! its really interesting to see him soften up and i think theres a lot to be said about the persona he puts on in public that i just KNOW the show isnt gonna explore. i dont think hes the. best anxiety rep, but i do think there are moments where its compelling. OH and i LOVE watching his energy bounce off blitz, its super fun :3

25. What's your least favourite thing [Charlie] said or did? grgghgg ohh girl,,,,,you had so much wasted potential ://// this is a lot more nitpicky than my answer for stolas but its easily that one moment in ep 4. where she WHINES and CRIES like a BABY over angel and vega carries her away. the infantilization is SOOOO irritating, esp bc literally in the NEXT EPISODES they try to portray her as a strong and confident good leader???? its so pathetic and SO frustrating especially when she could easily make it up to angel by KILLING HIS RAPIST.

WAHHHJSKDFHJKLD THANKS FOR ASKINGGGGG i love getting out all my thinkies :33333

[johannwolfgangvongoethe]

various sloda discourse, etc etc

i briefly touched on most of these before but this is my personal self-indulgend “I AM CORRECT NO ONE TOUCH ME” post about themes in the game, criticism i saw from others, and my own grudges with it

(warning for story spoilers) (of the whole game)

1. DUDE MADARAME IS FUCKED. THIS IS NOT LOVE

i cannot stress this enough. madarame does not love towa. madarame is a manipulative, deeply selfish, lonely person who specifically preys on the weak. i dont know if this is obvious to people who have never been abuse victims before and had to spent a large amount of time with people like him. he engages in multiple well-known abuse tactics: weakening towa and blaming it on him. blameshifting and gaslighting. specifically offering help afterwards to appear merciful. alienating towa from his friends to cancel out outside help. destroying towas sense of self, his sense of time, his ideals in life. destroying his confidence. at the start of the route towa hates everything about him, doesnt want to see him again, is grossed out by how much madarame violates him. at the end he is too destroyed to form coherent thoughts. anything that isnt being chained up and beaten and raped feels like a mercy to him. there is a reason madarame simply does not appear in the taku, rei, fujieda routes; towa has a social circle. he has support structures. it is harder to get to him. the only time madarame is able to successfully manipulate him, is when towa is in a downward spiral over indirectly killing someone and actively pushing others away. it also really is no coincidence to me madarame was drawn towards towa when he was young. towa was in a vulnerable spot: an older teen, who just escaped the most horrific past life, is caught up with the yakuza, and is extremely prone to selfharming. to a 30-ish year old madarame, he was an easy target to overpower. at the end of the day its all power games and feeling superior to him.

the game literally spells this out. over and over and over. there is nothing beautiful about it. it is a telling character study and explains a lot about their history and the world. but it is not a romance story.

like. dont romanticise this. be very very vigilant how much madarame isnt just gaslighting towa but you. learn about this behaviour and become a more mindful person through it.

2. towa, as a character, is the most satisfying creation

my boy towa. he is such a character. he is not the type i usually love but i am so so strongly captivated by his very special nature.

it is made so so easy by the game to put yourself in towas shoes. sometimes you play through a part only to realize the depths of what happened earlier bc you suddenly snapped out of towa brain. at least thats what it felt like to me.

he is strong and he is weak and he is manipulative but also brutally and compassionately honest. and it never feels out of place. i cannot describe how much i love this skrunkly. i especially love when he gets chattier later into a route... when you can tell he acts like a loner but loves his friends and loves to have people around him. he is a hot mess but he takes his meds and works his silly little job. they really captured the perfect image of a person who has given up on everything but underneath it all there is still a drive. there is still so much will to live.

i also feel like most people probably drastically changed their opinions on him while playing through the whole game. you learn and grow with him. theres a real sort of connection.

3. WISH IT WASNT A PORN GAME

slow damage, for all its rawness and aspirations, really gets held back by being sold under the premise that theres a set amount of porn scenes in every route. this is especially rough to read and sit throught in the madarame and foujieda routes but its odd for the other two as well. i understand there must be a certain amount of consistency if youre trying to sell a product, especially if you are nitrochi and, well, known for dick and balls. but at best it feels very out of place in this carefully crafted self-aware universe and at worst it just comes across as straight up offensive.

there were many times where i thought that either not having a sex scene at all would have been more meaningful (fujieda route, after towa almost killed himself. AT LEAST LEAVE THE CUM DIGGING OUT. or let towa do it himself. GOD.) or focussing on towas feelings instead of eroticism would have been better from a storytelling standpoint (madarame) and more tasteful.

I ASSUME this is as much a problem with boys love/vn media in general as it is with this game. though i cant say i read much BL. because i am not interested in reading about trama porn and shock value, which are an infamous stereotype. there is a time and place for graphic content but i feel like normalizing it and making it fapping material (sorry for my cringe wording) is really offensive and just damaging to readers in the long run.

4. the gender of it all

i have been thinking about this for a while and i think the localization team really made a great effort with getting the gender of characters across. imo, it would have been perfectly reasonable to have rei use she AND he pronouns throughout the story. though, see the point above, i dont know how limiting the genre is in that regard. and i do appreciate they really captured reis like... quirky bubbly personality and she and the gang do collectively go by “girls” a couple of times, iirc. it would have also been fine to use she/her for honami, junko, and arashi but i really Really love them all going by they/them as well. i did not expect them to be such heartfelt precious characters without transphobic violence ever being a topic and it was a breath of fresh air and so wonderful. their little clique truly is such a source of love and courage in the story. usually universes without any sort of bigots feel fake BUT in an enviroment like shinkomi it doesnt feel out of place! at least to me. you see all kinds of diverse people there. i do not doubt for a minute that the transgender community background of this city is probably the best thing about it LOL

in general, i did not expect gender to be such a big topic in general. reis development is interesting to watch and analyse. why does him becoming masc happen here but not in other routes? is this truly the end to the rei gender journey? is this party brought into place bc rei identifies moreso as a gay man than a woman here? lots to think about!!! not in a negative way at all, i think reis struggle with gender performance was really relatable+well executed.

ADDITIONALLY the fujieda bad end provides such an interesting take on this conglomerate between towa and his mother. the switches between pronouns were FANTASTIC and such punches in the gut. i absolutely LIVE for this monstrous uncomfortable weirdly gender creation and the little touches of “i thought there stood a woman....” and “it didnt matter to me if it was him or her”

5. somewhere between high empathy and cognitive dissonance

ngl, it is not inherently something i like but i am absolutely obsessed with the slight hypocrisy in the storytelling. (affectionately. they did well for what they had written out.)

shinkomi is a city filled with the impoverished, the disadvantaged and underprivileged, the sick and the preyed on. this is often mentioned and shown to be the case in the background, yet all the characters we meet live under stable circumstances. the danger never touches us, it is merely a setpiece. yet we are supposed to understand how rough life there is.

IN FACT CLASS IS SO IMPORTANT TO THIS UNIVERSE that i want to argue it was not necessarily the scars that helped fujieda and towa to bond, they were just a visual cue that thematically fit into the story. what really lifted any reservations between them was the recognition that fujieda comes from less than stellar place as well, that he has known a socially and financially unstable and dangerous enviroment. it eradicates fujiedas standing as a member of the upper class and makes him approachable.

mentioned under point 3: the underlying evil of the game is the sexual and physical abuse towa suffered in the past. yet current sexual abuse is often written to be sexy and appealing. it is quite dishonest

there is no love interest that does not have blood on their hands yet the only one to speak about his grief is taku. this makes sense because as a doctor, his sense to do good is deeply ingrained into his person, it is simply in character to do so. but shouldnt rei get to have a heart to heart about the people she had to beat in moneymatches, at the very least?

eiji as a character is this whole concept personified LOL i like him a lot

6. alas, fujieda is still in the trenches

slow damage really managed to cleanly wrap up so many little sideplots and the main mystery and tragedy surrounding towa and his mother was executed absolutely beautifully.

but alas, fujieda stayed in the trenches. he very much comes across as a side character to towa in the final route. yet he has his own trauma, his own regrets about his past, his own unresolved struggles. the end very much hints towards him and towa slowly healing together but ah.... i cant help but think i would have loved to see more that vulnerable side of him more...

from what i have heard about the artbook story (havent been able to check his afterstory drama cd out yet! but i definitely plan to listen to it eventually), it took half a year for him and towa to get physical again. thats so... strangely calming. the entire time throughout the post-shower scene i couldnt help but think they are searching for warmth but also slightly retraumatizing eachother. bro.. the sweet pain of seeing him readjust towas hands and face if he touched or kissed him in a wrong place. gently and quietly. without saying anything. you could tell he is still deeply hurt and was using the skills from his own undesirable past just to please towa. its very sacrifical in that way. this sounds like im not talking about what was really just a prostate massage but yeah. anyway.

i cant help but think fujieda hates sex. not that he dislikes intimacy. and he certainly seems to adore towa. but he has clear limits. sad but also nice to see, i think??? i love the vulnerability of it.

7. jast usa made a lifelike translation and everyone hated them for it

OK YES!!! YES!!! I DONT SPEAK JAPANESE!! but talking about it with my friends who do......... idk man i think they just tried to create a lifelike translation and put some funnies in there. its honestly fine. also on behalf of the very consistent they/themming i am willing to eat out of their hand. yes, yes maybe rei did not originally end all these sentences in “, hun?” but you know what. if english pronouns are putting a limit on you, you have to have him talk like a motherhen.

8. ok we have to do this. we have to talk about DISABILITY

towa is... so disabled. towas is deeply chronically ill. and we need to ackowledge this. to truly grasp a lot of the significance of the story. he is missing an eye, he is super mega depressed and suicidal, he is terribly underweight, no doubt his has multiple other physical issues caused by past injuries.

when everyone supports him unconditionally, they want to include and spend time with their struggling disabled friend. when people violate him, they are specifically abusing a disabled person with less chances to help and save himself. when taku is impossibly protective over him to a point where he neglects to tell him things, he is acting out a pseudo-custodian role he voluntarily picked up just because towa means a lot to him.

i spoke about this before but autonomy is of HUGE importance to towa. both because his specific backstory and childhood trauma AND because he is a disabled person. i think the fact people dont try to hold him back from going on self destructive sprees has a lot to do with this. they know it is his weakest spot. he does not react well to it. also shown quite effectively but how much freedom he loses in his bad ends.

in a way the madarame route makes specific use of this; madarame denies him his right to stay unharmed and stable and sells it to him under the guise of independence. but i think everyone can understand that this will never be a realistic permanent solution for someone in need of care, even if it might seem temporarily desirable. you cannot survive and thrive like this.

9. pick your coping skill; the game

slow damage, in my opinion, is a game mainly focussed on hurt and coping skills. everything towa does is a direct or subconscious attempt to cope with his life and past experiences. as such, to me it seems like the routes are less about love interests and more about different ways of dealing with it.

taku -> just fight the symptoms. take care of yourself. you can be happy in a new life. just attempt to bury your issues.

rei -> socializing is really really good for you and will help you build up confidence <3 also keeps you from running into traffic bc your friends will actually let you know your life matters

madarame -> just badcope lol. wear it like a shield and lash out against yourself and others. hurt hurt hurt but at least you dont have to work on yourself. it is the direct easy way out

foujieda -> radically tackling the roots of the issue. you will be SO hurt but you might be able to heal in a few years time

10. personal favourites (unimportant, i just wanna gush)

fav characters: taku (his old man sad boy swag has bewitched me, i just really love his struggle with doing the right thing, as a person AND a medical professional. he is the only character allowed to truly express his pain and guilt), ikuina (i love a good softspoken yandere what can i say. also flowerboy <3), igarashi (WHaT WAS HIS DEAL I NEED TO KNOW HOW HE ENDED UP WITH THE YAKUZA he is such a honest puppy of a person. his last post-game dialogue makes me think this isnt even a facade, he just is an upstanding person) honorable mentions: towa (how can you not be obsessed with him), rei (sweetest girl. literally did no wrong. joy of my life), eiji (HIS REVOLVER OCELOT LARP WAS UNBELIEVABLE literally hes just so funny and evil)

fav good/euphoria end: ITS NOT PERFECT BY ANY MEANS but taku. definitely taku. yeah the weird dependent relationship between a doctor and a patient with 20 years age gap is quite creepy. i could not imagine this irl. but their chemistry and just... fluffy, gentle, sweet bond. is. everything to me. while it is not the ideal solution by any means, i also love the sweet pain of towa just never finding out about his past and starting a new life without it. it will always hurt a little bit in the back. but he can be happy and surrounded by friends. I ALSO REALLY LOVE FUJIEDA GOOD END i think i would be way more obsessed with it if i saw them interact more in a very casual setting? since the plot moved on quickly, they had very little time to really... establish what connects them outside of painful things that happened in the past?

fav bad/madness end: FUJIEDAAAAAAAA it is so fucked up. it is the scariest one despite being the least bloody. there is something deeply deeply haunting about watching towa go through all of this, experience so much pain and suffering in the name of uncovering and rediscovering his own life......just for it all to be for nothing. he got worse. this truly is the most chilling outcome of them all and i think it is a fantastic last end for a story that mainly focusses on trauma and recovery. isnt that the ultimate horror story.

also i am quite fascinated that in every other madness end, towas life gets ruined by his love interests. fujieda however is as much in the role of a victim as he is, though. and the slight cry for help at the end really drives home why he cannot leave. they are caught in worlds unhappiest yet loving marriage.

fav route to play: FUJIEDA ONCE AGAIN just because the game got so quirky with visuals and you finally get all the information and clues and emotional gratification of it all. yes it also destroys you mentally but thats part of the joy.

BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY. reis route. it is so deeply defined by his beautiful friendships and there is a real sense of life and love when you see his little clique hang out... it definitely is the most fluffy and feel good to play through. i dont really like reitowa as a romantic pairing but seeing them hang out is SOOOO sweet.

thank you everyone for coming to my ted talk

[viktoriakomova]

Sorry for being dense but can you elaborate on your post about Norah?

tldr the call is coming from inside the house and the house is the UC Fayetteville sorority house and the den mother is miss val :)

we know from several former gymnasts' accounts that miss val had a pattern* of treating some gymnasts (most, even!) on the team very VERY well, and a select few (or notably and most sadly, sometimes just one) like total garbage. the trouble maker, the scapegoat, the designated whipping post.

we also know from obvious developments and patterns therein that ucla gym in the last 4 years has metastasized onto arkansas. and that miss val was influential in getting jordyn the HC position in the first place when you look at her and her husband's connections to the arkansas athletics dept.

waller was miss val's AC for like ~15 years. hiring him as a HC and her successor was a formality more than anything. nothing significantly changed when he replaced her, other than the absence of her mystique and cult of personality. which, granted, i can imagine sucked all the air out of the room. she is, after all, miss val.

we know that the environment was pretty toxic in norahs senior year. there is nuance to the exact details of a lot of what happened but it was indisputably a tense training environment. we can assume, based on how literally anything like this works, that the groundwork for that tension and toxicity was laid gradually before that year had even started.

so anyway, shifting focus back to ark. jordyns experience prior to landing a head coaching position at the age of 24 was ENTIRELY under miss val's tutelage. not just that but at the same program, within the same university's athletics admin, for only a few years. and on top of THAT, she hired her besties from ucla, including her then-bf now-fiancé (lol), onto her coaching staff. this is already not a great situation obviously.

at the beginning of this year, norah comes to ark as a 5th year transfer. supposedly to be closer to her bf in atlanta (.....😐) but also because she has an established relationship with the whole coaching staff. bc theyre basically all ucla transplants who have known her for years (jordyn and kyla for literally a whole decade going back to norahs junior elite days, long long history there). shes also a huge fan favorite and an amazing gymnast who deservedly gets very high scores.

i hope you can see where im going with this but bottom line is: looking at some of the eyebrow-raising stuff we've seen gymnasts and their families/friends say or hint at, putting all those things on a timeline, comparing that to gymnasts' arrivals, departures, injuries, underperformance compared to potential and expectations, etc. it seems a lot to me like things were not going great before this year, but it has really come to a head this season. and taking all of the above into account, i think norah's transfer was a catalyst for all that to really get going

jordyns mentor as a coach, basically the only coach she has ever studied under AND all within the only program she had ever worked for, is someone we know to be extraordinarily toxic and manipulative. and she remains a constant (predominant) presence in jordyn's career and the arkansas program as a whole. like deadass she moved to fayetteville and lives there at least part time jfkdjkfdjfk.

so no its not an unfortunate apparent coincidence imho and i dont think its all that crazy of me to suggest that theres a common thread here and not just "aw darn she transferred from one toxic team to another one that turned out to ALSO be toxic. :(" and for the record i certainly dont think that norah is one of the people suffering from the status quo within that program rn lmao.

there's also a lot about norahs last season at ucla and the team dynamics that i wont get into, primarily bc much of it is unconfirmed and based on rumors, ones that i realistically have no way of verifying, but also bc i feel like the above paints a decent picture of what is going on in a general sense without it... :)

*it also seems that this only happened in a few key years when the team was, for whatever reason(s), extremely polarized. other years the team was much more balanced. im not a fly on the wall so i wont speculate as to why that necessarily was but if you go back thru her seasons as a coach the Vibes are apparent

[merakiui]

Wait wait ok. So what if when you move into modern au Xiao's apartment, and you both learn that the other plays video games? Like wow what a coincidence, so you send him a friend request and he accepts it, but you guys are too busy to play with each other.

But Xiao's never online it seems, you shrug it off thinking that he's just busy doing something else on his computer. Except Xiao is almost always online, but has his online status hidden, so it looks like he's never on, and he uses that to his advantage to see what kind of games you play, or if you're online or not. You don't think much of your online status indicator, it doesnt mean anything right?

Xiao knows that you attend classes/have a job so you aren't home too terribly often, but one day you leave your door open a crack when in a rush to leave, you coulda sworn you locked it??

And that's how he gets into your room because he knows you are usually dilligent about keeping it locked when you are not home. He also notices that your computer is asleep and not turned off so its easily accessible since your door's always locked, and he can't help himself to take a peak at your search history (bonus points if he's a hacker too) since it was so incredibly easy to open.

All of your things have a slight scent of lavender, vanilla amd qixing, especially your headphones where you usually sweat during an intense gaming session.

Oh what if when you first move in he didnt bother with video games until he talked to you and became smitten?? So he gives it a try and just acts like he was a casual gamer to not alert you that he was a new player watching you 👀

OR you run into him months before moving in to his apartment, but it didnt mean much so you don't remember him, but he remembered you, and he used his ~hacker skills~ to find your online profile after you briefly mention in passing you liked to play video games, thinking you would never see him again.

Modernau! Yan Xiao is one of my favorites, esp bc he plays video games I keep thinking of these scenarios nejrnnf.

OOH and if the reader has access to some pretty lewd games when they think they're alone??

-🔑

(nsfw)

OMG OMG YES!!! I never even considered online status!! This is so true! He absolutely lurks. He would be the type of Discord user who’d either keep his status invisible because he’s just lurking, quietly seeing whether or not you’re online, or permanently on Do Not Disturb mode because he doesn’t want anyone messaging him. He’s probably in some servers but never talks or contributes much because he just lurks. Most of those servers are probably servers he joined because you’re in them.

Ooh, the lewd games! Xiao has played plenty of those before. He probably also reads and watches all sorts of hentai, too. What if he finds out that you watched/read/played the same lewd media as him? Omg he would be so happy to know that the two of you have a similarity.

He probably has a file on his computer with all sorts of pictures of you, some of which were from before you became his roommate and others of you going about your daily life. You’ll never know about this file unless you happen to find it one day if you ever use his computer.

[xebecatt2002]

"Gabrielle, Tell him. Do the Bard thing" Chariots of War

From the very first episode Gabrielle is introduced as a storyteller and straight away it is hard not to be impressed with the level of authenticity the writers give to Gabrielle’s skills as a Bard. Many of these stories she tells are based on fragments of authentic myths.

'Chariots of War', the second episode of the series, opens on Gabrielle telling Xena a story as they make their way to the bar in a village tavern. Though we only catch the ending of her story, there is still interesting details to unpick.

G: “And so, Zeus, in his appreciation, turned the two lovers into oak trees. And then do you know what happened?”

X: “Somebody built a boat out of them?”

G: “No-- their branches intertwined, and they spent the rest of their days in each other’s embrace.”

There are a lot of stories in Greek myth involving 'metamorphoses', the Greek word for ‘transformations’, with both gods and mortals turning into other things like plants or animals. The only story that comes close to the one Gabrielle tells is the story of Baucis and Philemon.

The complete version of the myth is only found in the work ‘Metamorphoses'. It is a collection of myths woven together into a narrative through their common theme of transformation. It was written by the Roman poet Ovid who lived between 43 BC and 17 AD, a period of Roman history which saw the end of the Roman Republic and the reign of the first Emperor, Augustus.

The gods Zeus and Hermes (known here in their Roman forms, Jupiter and Mercury) disguise themselves as mortals and travel across Greece. When they seek hospitality from the mortals they encounter, they find themselves turned away from every household until the come upon the simple home of Philemon and Baucis.

‘Looking for shelter and rest, they called at a thousand

homesteads;

a thousand doors were bolted against them. One

house, however,

did make them welcome, a humble abode with a roof

of straw

and marsh reed, one that new its duty to the gods and men.

Here good Philemon an Baucis had happily passed

their youth

and here they had reached old age, enduring their

poverty lightly

by owning it freely and being content with the little

they had.’

Ovid, Metamorphoses, 8.628-635

Here the couple greet the strangers and offer up what little they have, providing them with the best of the meagre food and wine unknowing their true divine identities. Ovid goes in to quite a bit of detail describing the hospitality the couple offer especially the dishes that make up their feast during. While they entertain their guests the cups magically refill with wine.

‘Meanwhile, whenever the mixing-bowl got empty,

it seemed

To refill of its own accord, with the wine welling up by

itself.

Stunned and scared by this wonder, Philemon,

trembling, and Baucis

lifted their upturn hands to heaven and fervently

prayed

For forgiveness after serving so poorly prepared a repast.’

Ovid, Metamorphoses, 8.679-682

Fearing they have offended their divine guest they seek to appease them by sacrificing their only goose. This leads to a comical scene with the elderly couple chasing the goose and failing to catch it. It appears to run towards to gods for safety which seems to work as the gods command them to spare the bird as they are grateful for what they have already provided.

They then proclaim that the couple will be spared from the punishment they will inflict of their impious neighbours who refused to honour the Greek custom of hospitality known as xenia (ξενία), a word derived from the Greek word for stranger xenos(ξένος). Sometimes referred to as 'ritualized friendship' the custom was based on generosity, courtesy and gift-giving that strengthen ties between people. In earlier times when it was thought that the gods walked among mortals it was even more important to respect these customs to avoid incurring the wrath of a visiting god. It would became seen as a moral obligation for both Guest and Host to show respect to each other.

Returning to Ovid's story, the couple leave their home with the gods and head to the safety mountains. There they witness the flood the gods send down to wipe out their impious neighbours. Nothing is spared except the couple’s home which undergoes its own transformation as it becomes a temple to the gods.

The gods offer to grant the couple anything they desire as reward. After deliberating with each other Philemon and Baucis ask to be guardians of the new temple and also, that when the time comes for them to die, that they die together so they don’t have to suffer the loss of their partner. After many years happy years together they are transformed into Trees. Philemon an Oak and Baucis a linden.

"We

ask

to be priests and to guard your temple; and since we

have passed our years

together in peace, let the same hour carry us off, so I

need not

look on my dear wife’s grave, nor she have to bury my

body."

Their wish was granted; as long as life was allowed

them, they served

as the temple’s guardians. When time had taken its

final toll,

and while they were casually standing in front of the

steps of the building,

telling the sanctuary’s history, both Philemon and

Baucis

witnessed their partner sprouting leaves on their worn

old limbs

As the tops of the trees spread over their lip sand concealed

them forever.

Still to this day the peasants of Phrygia point to the oak

and the linden nearby which once where the forms of

Philemon and Baucis.’ Ovid, Metamorphoses, 8.712-720

The devotion the couple have for each other is really endearing. You can really see why this story would appeal to a young Gabrielle who left her home and arranged marriage to find the true place she feels she belongs.

It is also an interesting choice of story to share with Xena, someone she’s just met who is aloof and independent. She’s eager to befriend the warrior but is finding her emotionally distant. This emotional distance is reflected in the physical distance between them. In these early episodes they have clearly defined personal spaces, such as sperate bedrolls, and they spend a lot of time apart as Gabrielle is left behind in a 'safe' location. You could read into this that just as Xena tries to keep distance between her and Gabrielle physically to protect her, she is trying to keep her emotionally distant for safety reasons as well. In some ways Gabrielle may understand this which is why she choses to tell this particular story to Xena. The old couple might seem weak and vulnerable but they are given strength by the devotion and support they have for each other. Gabrielle is trying to show her new friend that caring isn't a weakness but a source of strength by using this story as an example.

X: “What’s the point?”

G: “Come on, Xena. I believe everyone will find their tree in the forest someday-- even you.”

X: “I find the strongest trees in the forest stand alone.”

G: “You don’t have to be strong all the time, Xena; sometimes it’s good for the soul to be soft.”

This moment beautifully foreshadows the relationship that grows between Xena and Gabrielle throughout the series as both become entwined emotionally, spiritually and physically in a multiple of ways. There are moments that the imagery of the myth is invoked in such a way that Xena and Gabrielle symbolically become the lovers. Intentional or not by the writers it is a fantastic coincidence.

One episode that subtly does this is ‘The Abyss’ during one of its poignant cave scenes. After an encounter with cannibals Xena and an injured Gabrielle become tapped in a cave that is rapidly flooding. As Xena tries to get them out, Gabrielle tells Xena her final wish, that she wants to be buried with Xena.

X [Whispers]: "Gabrielle-- Gabrielle-- here-- here. The time's

come. We're getting you out of here, all right?"

G: "Oh."

X: "All right."

G: "Xena, I have a-- a last wish."

X: "I don't want to hear of it."

G: "No-- I'm serious. You don't want to know?"

X: "What is it, then?"

G: "I don't-- want to be buried-- with the Amazons."

X: "All right. Well, in fifty years, when the time comes."

G: "Xena-- I wanna lie with you-- with your family? In

Amphipolis."

X: "What about your family?"

G: "I love them-- but I'm a part of you. I want it to be like

that forever. I love you."

It is the climax of a series of intimate moments that are grounded in their love and devotion to each other. Gabrielle’s words cement their soulmate relationship. They are meant to be, and will be, together forever like the lovers of her story.

The context of this moment adds another layer to this allusion. As Gabrielle is affirming to Xena that she is a part of her, the warrior princess is preparing to save her injured partner by tying her to herself using vines. This nicely invokes images of Gabrielle’s story of the two lovers who becoming trees and entwining together. Also it connects with Ovid's tale of Philemon and Baucis as like the mythic couple, Xena cannot bear to witness the death of her partner. As Philemon and Baucis were spared that fate by being transformed into trees, Xena is using a plant to physically entwine her and Gabrielle to save her from death.

This climb up the ravine walls to escape the rising water could be reminiscent of Philemon's and Baucis' arduous climb up the mountain to escape the flood or just another coincidence. What perhaps isn't is that it is love and devotion that binds each couple together for eternity. Just like the lovers in the story Gabrielle tells in season one, and the myth it is based upon, Xena and Gabrielle will be together for eternity in each other's embrace.

Throughout the series there are a number of different ways Xena and Gabrielle become entwined together. As the emotional distance between them shrinks, the physical space seen in earlier episodes disappears and they begin to embrace each other. Not only is there a myriad of touches and hugs to connect them but while sitting, walking and even fighting they become inseparable.

They become so close that they pick up traits from each other and almost merge into one. This is such a vast topic to discuss it really needs its own post to explore in detail but the importance for this discussion is the idea that they merge into one entity. The idea that they become one is the connection with the myths and invokes the imagery of metamorphosis.

This metamorphosis becomes literal later in the series. In season 5’s ‘Succession’ during Ares’ contest to determine a worthy successor to Xena as his Chosen, he places Gabrielle and Xena into the same body. At dawn they discover that Gabrielle metamorphoses in to Xena and dusk, Xena into Gabrielle. This nicely alludes to Gabrielle’s story as they transform, much like the couple becoming entwine trees, two individuals become one entwined in each others bodies.

This physical metamorphoses happens in the series when it has become fully established that these two are soulmates, destined to be together for eternity. They are truly devoted to each other that they cannot be separated, just as the lovers cannot bear to be parted from each other even when they are transformed into trees.

As Gabrielle predicted at the end of her story, they both found their tree in the forest in each other.

Sources

Ovid, Metamorphoses

Whoosh.org, Episode Transcripts

Screen captures by myself

Thanks to Simjay on the Discord Xena group for the Gifs!

[tweedfrog]

im sorry, but reading ur last couple posts it kinda sounds like you think Ned should have been more overtly racist and bc he wasn’t grrm is racist, but on the flip side giving arya prejudice thoughts also makes grrm a racist and a bad writer? like grrm for sure has dodgy bits but you’re giving him a bit of a no win scenario here. if he had made the targs black like originally planned do you think that would have been better or worse? (1/2)

ok im going to address this point by point because there is a lot of reaching and misunderstanding here

1. I am not here to present a ‘win’ scenario for GRRMs writing. I am discussing the shortcomings of the way he writes racism and yet uses racist tropes. A lot of these are as you state ‘no win’ scenarios because he decided to craft a world where racism exists while having extremely few characters of colour in important positions, AND while using racist tropes. There are many no win scenarios simply because of this tension.

2. I dont want Ned to be a more vocally racist character? And please point out where I said that Grrm was racist because Ned wasnt portrayed as having overt anti-dornish sentiment? I stated that because GRRM created a world where racism exists everything now has to be analysed bearing that in mind. It’s the same as stating that because misogyny exists in universe male characters are possibly (and likely) somewhat misogynistic and their interactions with with women and the way they treat female characters must be analysed in such a way.

Me stating that anti-dornish racism could have been a possible reason why Ned reacted less vehemently to the deaths of Elia and her children is me analysing it within the frame-work that GRRM set up. I’m using this to point out that when white authors add fantasy racism into a story they dont see the raicst implications of what they are writing because they dont understand the way racism impacts almost everything in real life.

For example in our world when non-white children or women go missing or are murdered their deaths are much less publicized than when white women or children get murdered or go missing. So yes racism affects the way that people are treated in such scenarios and when you decide to include fantasy racism in your story you have now included all of this extra stuff and need to do work to make sure that what you are writing does not perpetuate or enforce racism.

3. I literally never said arya having racist thoughts made GRRM a racist and bad writer. I have no clue where you got that. I used Aryas remark to highlight how anti-dornish sentiment clearly exists in the North because 9 year old children dont develop racist ideas in a vaccuum.

4. Where did I ever state that everything that happens to the martells was a micro aggression? I’m also confused as to where you got the word “micro” from??? Because idk about you but things like characters not really caring about the rape and death of a non-white woman and the deaths of her biracial children, a child being shunned because they “smelled dornish” and dornish women being hypersexualised in the narrative are some pretty macro aggressions.

5. Finally you deciding to ‘not discuss the essoss stuff’ is missing one of the main points of what I am trying to say. GRRM’s writing isnt racist because sometimes bad things happen to the Martells. The combination of his writing of the dothraki as savages with no introspection when compared to the free folk, the brutal killing of many martells for shock value, the contrast between the way he portrays Lyanna and the way he portrays Elia, the exotic/erotic trope he uses when writing dornish women, the fact that he hasnt named the princess of dorne while all her male counterparts have recieved names AND backstories and the fact that he made a white character the centre of the essoss plotline and a whole host of other decisions combine to make his writing....kinda racist. If it happened one time it may be a coincidence. If it happens about 10 times its a pattern.

Would it be racist if the Starks were written as inuit and then split up? Probably - given the history of murder and brutal seperation indigenous families have faced! Would making the more visibly indigenous stark children plainer while making the more white passing stark children better looking be racist? Probably - considering the way that eurocentric beauty standards are still upheld! With GRRM his issue is that he doesn't use 1 or 2 racist tropes in isolation. That could be a mistake. He uses several in succession.

Regarding the Targaryens being Black I think that if he wrote them in exactly the same manner (unlikely given how he treats other characters of colour) it likely wouldnt be racist but that the fandom probably would take it as an excuse to be racist.

So now that weve gotten through all of that straw-man criticism about my “take” I’m actually going to suggest some ways that he could have still written about fantasy racism without accidentally perpetuating it

1. If he is going to brutally kill off Elia he needs to AT LEAST have more discussions surrounding her death. Who Elia was as a person (dont just make her a sad cardboard cut out - I want to see some background on who she was outside of being an abandoned wife and mother). One story about Elia by Oberyn isnt enough. I also want to see more societal shock about Elias death because theres a weirdly small amount. The rape and murder of the crown princess shouldve been an extremely huge scandal and should have horrified many more people.

2. Theres no real way to kill off two non white children and have their white sibling be a prophetic hero without dicey implications so Aegon needs to survive and be the actual Aegon and not a secret blackfyre. We dont know if he is a secret blackfyre or not so this may just be a case of the fandom taking an excuse to be racist and running with it

3. Have more Dornish characters that dont die brutally for shock value (Elia, Oberyn, Quentyn). Furthermore when you only have 2 povs of dornish characters,,,,and you kill one of them off, yes that is not a great look

4. Dont introduce the only WoC pov in the whole damn book nipple first and as a blatant play on the brown seductress when she has legitimate political concerns and greivances

And thats only the dornish characters! With the dothraki and most of essoss just.....anything aside from what he’s done would be better. But of course im sure none of this is actually racist writing decisions. No its simply complex characterisation of course!!1!

[forbiddenship]

do you think ej and gina can be truly happy together without ricky and gina's arc being fully closed? it just makes me feel like we're missing something and things are too good to be true. plus, the show is probably going to go into its next love triangle in s3 which is ej-gina-ricky.

i think their arc has already been closed! yes, it hasn't been stated explicitly by gina that she has moved on. for one, because i think the writers plan to address this in some way in season 3, probably with a ricky/gina conversation that brings them back on the road to being good friends. they can't 100% clear up all the drama and leave nothing to be explored - it is a teen show after all. and two, if tv writers are ever given the option of either alienating an entire subsection of their fandom or stringing them along, they usually pick the latter. especially in early seasons of a show.

but despite all of that outside-looking-in stuff, the storytelling itself and gina’s arc regarding this is actually really nice, and i personally think it was done well. she starts off by realizing that she needs to stand up to ricky when he’s treating her poorly in ep 5. however, she’s still heartbroken over him and planning to go home because of it. in ep 6, she realizes that she wants to focus on the friends and family that truly care about her and make her happy: ashlyn and ej being the two characters she interacts with primarily in this episode is not an accident - with this episode being the one where she reaches the conclusion salt lake is worth sticking around. and of course, the “may i have the exercise” scene and the one where ricky walks out the door are the scenes most symbolic to gina letting go of him and looking towards her future.

in ep 7 and 8, we see the idea of gina ‘closing the door on what she had with ricky to pursue her own happiness’ come to fruition - the writers make it very obvious that gina is much happier once she has let herself stop dwelling in the past with ricky and simultaneously shows that she just can’t help but be happy around ej. it’s a cliche, and it’s something the r*na’s like to say is an oversimplification, but at the end of the day, it’s honestly one of the main reasons i think we all ship portwell and that anyone ships anything, for that matter. when you see the characters you love being happy and carefree together, making each other happy, you want to see more of them together. you just do.

and then i can’t go much in depth into ep 9 bc a LOT happens for gina, but basically meeting jack and creating a real genuine connection with him makes her realize that she’s fully moved on and now ready for something “real and reciprocal” - as tim federle puts it. she starts this episode off by talking to / about ej. throughout the entire journey she has in that episode, she’s wearing the duke sweatshirt as a way of showing how he’s on the back of her mind while she’s talking to this new guy - and even her conversation with him circles back to ej. by the end of the episode, gina knows that she’s ready - for her first kiss, her first relationship - the right guy just has to show up. and of course, the rest is history :)

ep 10 drops a few hints on gina’s current feelings about ricky too: she’s seen talking normally to him in a group setting for the first time since episode 6 (at which point she still had feelings for him). i don’t think it’s a coincidence that the first time we see her talking to him (and being totally chill about it) since then is right after she’s had her revelation about ej. then when ashlyn brings up the chocolates again, gina isn’t flustered this time, a clear contrast to the way she acted around ashlyn when the chocolates were brought up the first time and for the entirety of episode four - evasive, confused, and embarrassed. this time, she handles it with grace and just tells the truth with no problem. and by ep 11 we know that she’s not bothered by the chocolates anymore bc a) she’s told ej about them and b) they can laugh about it together, almost like an inside joke.

the one thing i have seen people concerned about in terms of chocolates-gate is gina telling nini that when she thought ricky gave her chocolates, she sort of “melted, as a friend.” she left out an important bit about how she had feelings for him and just made it a friend thing. at first, i thought this was a little weird too, because why would she need to lie about it instead of admitting her past crush the way she had to ashlyn (and presumably ej bc he’s known about this since 1x06)? but after watching 2x12, i realized that the whole chocolates drama, and especially the way they framed it in the 2x10 promo as something that caused this huge falling out - was literally just a ruse. a red herring. writers do them often enough to keep the audience on their toes: everyone loves a good plot twist. something that we thought would result in a blowout fight between nini and gina as they fight over a boy was literally not about boys at all, but actually about nini and gina’s friendship and how nini felt hurt that gina didn’t trust her. this ties into how gina wasn’t ready to open up to nini about her past feelings for ricky - which is both the reason she didn’t tell her about the chocolates and the reason she said she melted as a friend - but it tells a lot more about gina and nini’s level of comfortableness with each other / how much they’ve moved on from everything in s1 than it does about gina’s actual feelings about ricky. and nini basically says this verbatim. but the conversation they have in this episode helps them both establish that they truly can trust each other and that the boy drama is all in the past. after all, we know that nini knows gina/ricky had something at one point, she’s been jealous because of it before. but she doesn’t care about gina’s past feelings because it’s just that - in the past. and it’s also worth noting that not only is there no residual awkwardness or hard feelings as the girls discuss ricky/the chocolates, but also none when they discuss ej, who is literally nini’s ex. because again, the past is in the past and they are now both mature enough to be friends without letting boy drama and jealousy get in the way. which imo is a really nice way to tie up the gini arc. because gina and nini had some nice moments in s1 too, like in the thanksgiving episode and the finale, but they could never truly be real friends because of 1) the foolish competitiveness they had against each other and 2) the boy drama (both ricky and ej bc nini was clearly jealous when gina and ej went to homecoming together). but by the time they have the 2x12 conversation, they have both moved well past the point of letting their friendship with each other be affected by anything boy-related.

so love triangle-wise, i don’t think that old nini/gina dynamic will ever be brought back again. out of the four possible love triangles within the core four, two of them have happened already (ej/nini/ricky, nini/ricky/gina) and one of them is now pretty much out of the question (gina/ej/nini). the only one left is ej/gina/ricky, but it’s very unlikely that the writers will go there bc 1) it would be repetitive, cheap storytelling and 2) that sort of arc hasn’t been set up for season 3 since we haven’t seen ricky jealous of portwell or anything. plus, both ricky and nini’s arcs post-breakup are about them as individuals needing to find out who they are outside of their relationship with each other, which is sort of an inverse to portwell, as bestie @gracestone has discussed in depth before. shoutout to anouk, btw. reading your metas always makes me think and gets my juices flowing. you’re also very reassuring and objective at the same time so you’re one of my absolute favorite portwell blogs <3

i also think it’s worth mentioning, even though it’s not super important to the storytelling itself, that since this is a teen drama, they have followed a certain path in terms of love triangles thus far. and if they were to revisit those love triangles, which again i think is unlikely because i believe the show has moved past the point of needing them (as seen with gina and nini’s convo in 2x12), there is a pattern there that would likely continue. with ej/nini/ricky, nini was at the center and she picked ricky. then nini/ricky/gina happened, with ricky at the center and he picked nini. so if ricky/gina/ej were to happen, it would probably end in gina choosing ej.

but of course the notion of having this love triangle in the first place - with ricky and ej fighting over a girl - is already extremely repetitive, even if the girl doesn’t choose ricky this time. and again, i think it’s fairly obvious that the show has moved beyond that point of needing petty drama and love triangles to be interesting (at least between the core four bc i think something might still happen with redlyn and antoine), especially when there are now so many new plots and storylines they’ve uncovered.

to be honest, as much as people say season 2 was a mess - which yes, the finale wasn’t perfect, but i’d say the season was solid overall - i think they did a pretty good job tying together a lot of loose ends when it comes to romantic drama, while still leaving a little something to be explored in season 3. gina and ej’s relationship was set up perfectly. gina’s arc with ricky was completed (having a conversation between them in season 3 would be like a bow on the present, something nice, but not something necessary to close their romantic storyline as much as something to get their friendship and their old dynamic back). ej and nini are friends and are comfortable around each other (i would’ve liked to see more scenes with them so maybe we get that in s3). ricky and nini’s final convo was sweet, a little nostalgic, a touch of sad, but also hopeful. nini and gina have set aside the drama and truly cemented their friendship.

so that just leaves ricky and ej - the only pairing in the core four that hasn’t really had their “moment” yet. we know they’re chill with each other from their v-day convo and background moments, and they seem to be friends, but they haven’t truly talked. we do know from the convo in 2x10 (the closest ricky and ej have had to a real talk in season 2) that there’s no hard feelings about nini anymore and also that ricky is generally supportive of ej pursuing gina. ej/ricky having not talked about the girl drama the same way that gina/nini talked about the boy drama would have made me a little suspicious if it weren't for how they handled that scene in 2x10. it's been set up as them now understanding each other and being supportive of each other. no drama, no jealousy. so i don't think it's likely that there will be any blowout fight between them in season 3. on the contrary, i think that the type of heart-to-heart that gini had in 2x12 is awaiting caswen as well. and honestly, i'm here for it :)

[woozisnoots]

svt in college! | alex edition

° pairing: ot13 x reader ° genre: fluff(?), what my stream of consciousness finds funny, college!au ° word count: 1034 ° warning: slightttt violence ° a/n: i know i have requests to write >< but i really needed to write smth fun :( act as a shot of of serotonin into my veins ahahaha [insert fratboy emoji] disclaimer tho - this was ENTIRELY SELF INDULGENT and very very catered to me which is why vernon’s is unnecessarily long SO IM SORRY !!! i still hope you guys think its fun :D

° masterlist! 

seungcheol: a business major, minoring in international relations. has the slightest crush on you but suppresses it pretty well without you realizing because he knows you like someone else. he likes to take you on what he calls bestie dates to a nearby arcade or places to eat when you’re stressed.

jeonghan: a psych major, minoring in communications, whom you oddly spend a lot of time with because he asks for homework help every other day when you’ve only taken 1-2 psych classes in your entire life :P but he’s a good listener and subs in as therapist on the weekdays so you let him stick around. 

joshua: an english major. doesn’t know why and slightly regrets it but if it means he can keep the tinie bookshelf he has in his doom to make it look like he’s smart, then that’s motivation to keep him going. you tolerate him because you guys randomly go on trips at 2am and buys you food :D

jun: a childhood education major. the friend of a friend of a friend of someone’s cousin that happen to be your friend and so you see him at parties sometimes :) actually really fun to be around when you’re not too much into the party scene and play hopscotch or bean bag toss outside the persons’ backyard. 

soonyoung: the loud dance team captain that won’t give you 5 minutes of quiet time waiting for your chem professor to open the door to the lab room because he has his speakers on at max volume dancing to kelly clarkson,,,, he’s pretty chill otherwise, he’s in my math class. claims hes the eye of the tiger when he comes to class in leopard print

wonwoo: premed that’s somehow taking enough classes to graduate with a literature minor. he and cheol talk a lot because they’re in the same broadcasting club or something of the sort. you guys acknowledge each other’s presence and share a moment of tea together sometimes with cheol.

jihoon: double majoring in music composition and theory. says he absolutely hates it because he thinks the work he does is completely pointless. but then goes on to write you like 27484737 love songs within a week for a single assignment. denies to other people that you’re his best friend and that he hates your guts but you’re the only one allowed in his private studio on school days and can fiddle with his equipment sometimes :3

minghao: an art major minoring in history. eventually wants to be a gallery director so he can hold his own. you make him drag you everyone for his work when you’re bored or have free time bc he takes pictures for the school newspaper/website. you guys strike a negotiation that you drive and he buys snacks. 

mingyu: you only know him for playing in your uni’s (american) football team. his tall ass is like linebacker or some shit you don’t even know his major. you had to take a kickboxing class for PE credit and you swept him to the ground and put him a choke hold. you never let him live that down everrr. you also steal his lunch money from his bag when he’s at practice.

seokmin: a musical theatre major, minoring in music composition. you guys met through jihoon. you were absolutely FLOORED when you heard him sing as the lead for the school’s spring musical. it is now tradition that you guys get crepes after every show and make jihoon pay B) he hangs out with you and jihoon a lot and randomly make music together. and ahahaha people think jihoon and seokmin are fighting over you!! >:( that’s absolutely preposterous, seokmin is too good of a soul (you say this as you help him kneed dough for the pizza you guys are making together)

seungkwan: an education major, minoring in music because he wants to teach music to little kiddos ^-^ THE BESTEST OF THE BESTIES!!! like if you’re not hanging out with jihoon/seokmin or cheol, you crash at seungkwan’s apartment and raids his kitchen when you run out of groceries ;D he keeps making fun of you for your car until you remind him that he can’t drive. on the weekends, you guys love to bake muffin, cookie, or cake recipes to prep for the daycare on mondays :3

vernon: okay actually, he doesn’t go to college SHDJSJSHS you met him on the side of the road once when you decided to walk instead of using your car (silly you!) and you saw vernon doing some cool graffiti art (IT WASN’T VANDALISM!!!). which was a total coincidence because at that point, you were ready to take a bus and wait right at the bus stop where he set up. since it was a long wait, you guys talked and he kept you company. you learn that this is actually a big project he’s been working on and is finally getting paid big bucks for something he really likes doing. you learn that he’s a great conversationalist and you miss the bus first bus ride home and have to wait another hour or so whoops! this becomes more and more of a daily thing, slowly getting to know each other. fast forward months later and it’s your birthday :D and you don’t expect anything at all because how would he know, you don’t really like your birthday anyways UNTIL vernon surprises you with a spray paint drawing of your favorite animal! and then asks you out on a date and you guys fall deeply in love

chan: a linguistics major. yeah, he doesn’t know why either, he’s just rolling with it. says he’s liking it so far, but no one really knows if he’s lying or not, including yourself. you drag chan to college events like club fairs and rallies because you’re too embarrassed to go alone and no one else wants to go LOL he begs you to drive him places during your three day weekends because he always wants to go off campus and do stuff with you and the guy pals, but he doesn’t like the freeway :/ its fine though because he pays for gas. 

[langernameohnebedeutung]

Top five magneto moments from the X-Men movies?

Ohhh...lemme think. (I tried picking from different films. It's not really in any order of preference, just scenes I think are neat.

1. aka the first one. I mean, not the first-first one or the second one or- but the first scene with Charles and Erik being Like That and doing their thing.

There's already at least one pretty popular post about why this scene is so damn good and how it tells us so much about these guys' dynamic without telling us much at all and I just really think it's well-done, well-acted. Especially since in the og movies, Mags and Charles aren't the main-characters so they don't get that much screen-time but this is what we need to know and there is just so much being communicated. I was kind of torn whether to pick this one or the very last one of the film but I chose this one bc I feel like the first one is more about Magneto (we already know he's going to be the villain right here, we learn what motivates him, we get some of the trademark bitchiness Ian McKellen brings to the character. Good stuff. Also when he walks off like: "We're the future, Charles! Not them! They no longer matter!" So much going on here.) while the end-one is more about Professor X. Also, for me the last scene actually elevates this one even further because of the way it makes this exchange frame the entire narrative of the film. You do get the sense that Charles and Erik are two chessplayers moving their pieces with the whole "What are you doing here?" - "Why do you ask questions to which you already know the answers?" and -

Like, you just get the sense that everything that happened between those scenes is just a little bit beneath them. It isn't any major break or change in their lives or relationship, they're the same as before and that also gives you an idea about the kind of history these guys already got to have.

2). Obviously.

Iconic. Show-stopping. Do I even need to say anything? Probably one of my favourite prison-break scenes ever put on screen. Everything about it. The dialogue, the violence, the "never trust a beautiful woman - especially one that's interested in you", the camera movement, the wink, the glass shattering and the cell coming apart, Ian McKellen floating on a metal/blood frisbee. This one has it all. Some physics guy on YouTube actually made a video about how powerful Magneto has to pull this off and apparently, this is a lot more impressive than any of the major property damage we see him cause across films.

3. Ah yes the Villa Gesell scene

Lemme say first: This scene is completely and utterly pointless from a plot-perspective. It's literally just a character moment. And I love character moments. It's just there to show us who Erik is and the film bends over backwards to justify this scene being in it: An entire stack of coincidences that is Shaw's photo hanging on the wall of this pub with the name of his boat clearly visible and he's sitting next to the two Nazis who happen to be sitting in this very pub right there and then and of course one of them has his Nazi knife with him (which is a very weird mixture of a Hitler Youth knife and an SS Honour Dagger and even ignoring that it's a mess bc they even forgot that German capitalises its nouns so why is the inscription all lower case and I'm the most annoying person on the planet to watch movies with but t-)

And the thing is - I actually like this entire scene even more for all of that. Because they could have just had that Swiss banker tell Mags where Shaw is. But instead, his entire trip to Argentinia is in there to let us see Erik kill Nazis and we get an exact sense of what he's doing with his life, who he is, how he is - and also did I mention dead Nazis? - I live for that (and also for a deleted scene where he sees a mother and her kid at the Argentinian airport and has a flashback and 😢).

I also like that it continues the pattern we get in the bank scene where he doesn't confront his targets directly but sets them up to incriminate themselves. We also get the "Frankenstein's Monster"-line which is something I have a lot of thoughts about - especially bc the whole "what makes us human/monsters"-question is a big deal in the movie. Also-also it sets up Charles 'head empty' moment from the finale of the movie where he tells Erik that the people CURRENTLY FIRING FUCKING NUCLEAR MISSILES AT THEM are just 'good innocent men' who are 'just following orders' and you just get the sense of how often Erik has heard this shit (also...thinking about how this film is set in 1962, meaning right after the Eichmann trial). There's just. A lot going on.

4. Oh let's be controversial!

ok I know this is something I know a lot of people hold against Erik and say it's one of his meanest and most unfair moments. but honestly? His anger is at least as earned as Charles' at this point and any take on this scene that is "one of them is right and the other is wrong" is ...boring. Erik once again lost people he cared about, he spent ten years in solitary confinement for a crime he didn't commit, he just learnt that literally everything that he warned about in the last film will happen (already has happened, partially), pretty much word for word ("Identification, that's how it starts. And ends with being rounded up, experimented on, eliminated.) to the point that an actual TIME-TRAVELLER comes back from the fucking future to tell them how bad they all fucked up.

(One of the things I like is that he doesn't make a difference between people who chose his side and people who chose Charles' side - he names Banshee along with Emma, Azazel, Angel. He's just sad about all of them. Generally, I'm still prissy that we never got to see him go full Magneto for any length of time in the prequels so him speaking of 'mutant brothers and sisters' is the closest we get to knowing what he would be like if they didn't always find some new weird between-movies plot for him like prison or starting a family in Poland or starting a leftist commune on an island - although I can kind of respect that one.)

Also anyone who ever had the misfortune of actually hearing me talk about this movie for any lengths of time knows I have...a lot of thoughts about Erik and his time in solitary confinement and I like that the first times we see his powers after he gets out after ten years of no metal, it's a huge mess. Erik as we know him from First Class would probably just wave his hands at those guards in the Pentagon kitchen and kill them with a few well-aimed knives in a blink of an eye - but this time around, he trashes the entire room and hits no one. And in the plane scene we see him lose control completely and almost bring down the plane once he snaps and you really get the sense that after ten years, he's no longer used to having metal around that reacts to his powers.

Also, in that same scene the mutual acknowledgement between him and Logan in the end? I liked that.

5. (almost) all scenes where he's just a giant menace to infrastructure and important landmarks.

Like the fact that he destroyed the Sydney opera house is just such a casual by-note, we don't even talk about that one. It's just how it goes, you know? The only let-down is that he literally went to France without taking down the Eiffel-Tower in DOFP? A giant metal structure? This is a serious oversight by the writers and really cheapens the whole movie-going experience. 2/10.

[aspoonfuloffiction]

I don't consider the writing in bridgerton to be pitch-perfect by any means but I really hate people for dragging the writer in episode 6 and even saying stuff like how "she should go back to writing classes" or that that episode should've focused on Kate instead of Edwina. Kate wasn't on the altar that day, Edwina was, so it makes perfect sense why SHE is the main focus instead of her sister when she has not been given any insight into what has truly been happening all this time. And a writer per episode doesn't just make all these decisions by themselves, the whole season is planned out and each script goes through several phases before its given out for production, so to blame this woman and say she's unfit to do her job is just????? I think re: Anthony at least, it can feel a bit disorienting because he goes through several different scenes with varying emotions from him, but this is why I kind of found it also realistic because a) he's caught in a situation where his family's reputation relies on someone who isn't him, therefore he doesn't have full control over it like he always tries to, and b) when he talks with Edwina, despite trying to be fully honest with her as she wants, he's also not because he's saying that Kate is "an easily removed obstacle", as in someone whom he "would" cut off from himself and his life despite us and him knowing that he frankly never could or will. And I completely get being angry with him over that line bc it's such a cheap shot, but it made sense that he's trying to paint this increasingly depressing picture of their potential marriage with some 'saving graces' in order for Edwina to still consider marrying him in order for them to evade scandal.

I feel like the script this episode (or at least the actors) do a really good job at showcasing emotions without the need for an explicit dialogue bit to explain all of it. Like when Anthony was all "she will have no part in our lives anymore if we get married", Edwina looks shocked and even hurt by the idea despite obviously being previously angry with Kate. So much of Edwina and Kate's conversations, and even Edwina and Anthony's circle back to Edwina and Kate, because even when Edwina talks about marrying Anthony to Kate it still has more to do with their complicated relationship than with Anthony (like saying her decision to marry him will have nothing to do with Kate, indirectly putting her feelings towards her sister in the spotlight than anything she might feel for Anthony).

There’s a difference between “I didn’t like this” and “No one liked this” or “This is objectively bad”. And I do not think people know that.

In fact fandom would have you believe that The Choice is the lowest rated episode of the show its not. In fact its not even the lowest rated episode of this season. As per imdb Bridgerton’s lowest rated episode was Diamond of the First Water and season 2’s lowest rated episode is Capital R Rake. So you know do with that what you will.

Also I can’t not see the directed vitriol to Lou-Lou Igbokwe, who is the only black woman credited on this season, and not think of the well established and well documented pattern of anti-blackness in the fandom. If Bridgerton fans did not have a history of pretty horrible discussion and treatment of black characters, actors, and creatives. I wouldn’t bring it up. However this fandom consistently tries to shut out black voices. So I am less inclined to call it a coincidence.

I think Lou-Lou did a good job with what she had. She was dealt a hard episode and she made it an entertaining hour of TV. I may not agree with all her or the other writers choices. (Anthony is unbearably confounding this episode) but I think she did a mostly good job. Because shit was entertaining and ultimately that’s what TV is meant to be—entertaining.

(also I agree Edwina was owed episode 6 I’m not sure about Edwina’s reaction to Anthony’s words. I’m actually ok with the reading that Edwina is pissed off at Kate and in bit of a blind rage the whole time because I like when we let women be angry but if you want we can talk about that more later!)

[writesowhatnext]

semaphore but tastier // cedric diggory

Summary: the reader is Cedric’s best friend and they can read him like an open book

Request: hi! can i request a cedric diggory fic where the reader always bakes him smth and he feels better bc of it? 🥺 thank uu

A/N: I really hope this is okay because for some reason I am totally off my rhythm atm and it is also 1am so context also i love ced so more requests for him when i reopen are welcome

Reader: unspecified

Warnings: Triwizard tournament, injury

Anyone would think that you were conditioning him. For what, exactly, you couldn’t say, but you really couldn’t deny how pleased you were to see that handsome smile on his lips. Cedric was your best friend, though, so of course, you wanted to make him happy; it was only natural. And if you found a way to do that via a means as easy as just baking for him, then why for Merlin’s sake wouldn’t you? That was your story, if anyone asked, and that was what you were sticking to. It was nothing to do with any secret, personal, intimate feelings you had for him and that was that.

The first time, really, it’d been an accident; just a happy little coincidence. You just happened to be holding one of your mum’s home-baked Apple Danishes when you saw Ced looking positively tragic in the library, mourning over his Transfiguration essay. All it took to turn his frown upside down was an eye roll and a carefully deposited pastry in his lap - he was clearly a man of simple taste. It’d always been like that with the two of you, actually: you found that you could read him like a children’s book. A very simple children’s book with very few words and lots of very pretty pictures.

It was because of that that you always knew the one thing that never failed to make his day; one of your mum’s freshly-baked sweet treats. It had even worked when he broke up with his girlfriend, something you were not as ‘unnervingly pleased about’ as your friends had teased, thank you very much. Food was your go-to, though, and it always, always worked. Well, mostly always.

Cedric wasn’t upset often. Somehow, it was as if it went against his very nature to be anything but smiling, anything but quietly confident and wonderfully charming. So, when you strolled towards the Great Hall, spotting him and quickening your steps to fall in line with his steady gait, you were surprised to see him scowling.

“Hello,” you grinned, raising your eyebrows as he turned to you, the wrinkle between his eyebrows ironing out slightly at the sight of your smiling face.

You both stopped to wait for the staircase and his brows sunk again, his jaw clenching.

“Hi,” he said, exhaling out of his nose. You smirked, grabbing his chin gently and pushing his cheeks together, making a face. Your fingers lingered on his chiselled jaw.

“Why do you look so cross, Mr Grumpy Pants?” you asked, letting go of him as you started up the stairs.

A reluctant smile tugged at his lips, but you could tell that despite his amusement, there was still something bothering him, creasing his brow.

“Seriously, Ced,” you said, bumping his shoulder as you walked side-by-side down the corridor. “What’s up?”

He stopped short, looking down at the cobblestone floor. You took a moment to trail your eyes down his profile.

“Do you think I should put my name in the Goblet?”

Your eyes darted to meet his grey gaze, your mouth drying up at his words.

“For the Triwizard Tournament?” he said as if he needed to.

You frowned, opening your mouth before closing it again quickly.

“I might need more than a strudel for this one,” you said, trying to make him laugh. Despite your hesitance at the idea, you were glad to see him chuckle, shaking his head at your little joke.

To say you were nervous would be an understatement. The whole concept of Cedric, your Cedric, being part of the deadliest wizard competition in history was throwing you for a loop and he hadn’t even been selected yet. As you sat in the Great Hall, though, at the Halloween Feast with your heart in your throat and your eyes solidly on Cedric, some part of you knew that no one else could be the Hogwarts Champion. Not if he couldn’t.

“Do you think he’ll be picked?” your friend asked, leaning backwards to get a better look at the already selected  Durmstrang and Beauxbatons champions. You didn’t need to ask who she meant.

“Yes,” you said, surprising yourself at how shaky your voice was. “I’m almost certain.”

“Oh, right, because he’s so handsome and brave and smart and kind and wonderful,” she mocked, her voice barely audible over the clapping.

You turned to her, making a face and pretending to mouth what she’d said, earning a slap on the arm. You were too busy squabbling to hear Dumbledore’s preamble, but you sure heard it when he read out the name of the first Hogwarts champion. At the time, though, you weren’t to know there’d be a second. The whole hall erupted at Cedric’s name and despite yourself, you found you were jumping to your feet, cheering and clapping along with everyone else, whistling and finding yourself swept along by the glee of it all, proud actually, of your best friend.

It wasn’t until the dragons that the true fear and nervousness sunk in. You were on autopilot as you crept around the Waiting Tent before the first task, your stomach in knots as you hoped somehow you would find him. Ever since he’d told you that Harry Potter had told him about the dragons, you’d been dreading the day, probably more scared for his safety than he was. You were far too distracted by the thought of something happening to him and the weight of the cream pie heavy in your palm to be completely focused. A rock twisted under your foot and you lost your balance. With a yelp, you ended up pushing through the tent, the fabric separating around your hands as you landed on the floor with a thud. You groaned, officially winded by your own clumsiness.

“Y/N?” a familiar voice said softly, riddled with confusion

You looked up to see Cedric, the man of the hour, with an amused smirk and raised eyebrows.

“You alright, Ced?” you asked casually as if you hadn’t just tripped straight through the wall. Shifting to get up, you were grateful to feel his hands on your arms as he helped you to your feet.

“Better now.”

He grinned at you for a moment, the yellow of his uniform tinting his skin perfectly. You blinked.

“I uh-“ you swallowed, blinking again. “I brought you this.”

You offered him the pastry in your outstretched palm, frowning at how sad it looked, slightly crushed and deformed by your little fall.

Opening your mouth to apologise, you squished the dessert in your grip, surprised as Cedric threw his arms around you, pulling you into him tightly. A grunt left your lips and if you weren’t already disorientated by the hug, the sound of a shutter and a bright camera flash made sure to do the trick. You both pulled away sharply and you would’ve fallen again had Cedric not placed his hand on your back to steady you.

“Wow,” a woman said shrilly. “Isn’t young love beautiful?”

You opened your mouth to correct her, but your words lodged in your throat when you noticed the floating quill beside her head. Your brain connected the dots and you found yourself taking an instant disliking to Rita Skeeter, a journalist Ced had complained about when he first got interviewed.

“That’ll make the front page if today goes poorly,” she mused, pursing her lips and tilting her head to the side. “And what a pretty page that’ll be, a couple like you.”

“Excuse me,” you said indignantly, immediately defensive. You didn’t get to finish before she was accosted by the Durmstrang champion, Krum.

“Sorry about that,” Ced said, his hand leaving your back as you turned to face him, his fingers skimming your arm distracting you entirely.

“Sorry about this,” you replied, lifting up the almost unrecognisable cream pie in your hand, the filling squeezing into the plastic bag around it.

“Don’t be, I think it has a certain charm.”

“I’ll give it to you now in case-“ Your voice broke.

“Hey,” he said, cupping your elbow gently. “I’ll be fine.”

Your vision blurred with tears and even his fingertips brushing your cheek lightly couldn’t salvage the sinking feeling in your stomach.

“Do you not trust me?” he asked a playful grin on his lips. You glared through your tears, pushing against his chest softly.

“You know I do.”

“Then you know that I’ll be fine. It’s just a dragon, what’s the worst that could happen?”

You inhaled, but he’d known you long enough to know the lengthy list of your response and insisted on stopping it in its tracks.

“It’ll be okay. Besides, I have to eat this…” he paused, frowning at the decimated pastry in your hand.

“It was a cream pie.”

“Ah.”

“Champions!” Dumbledore yelled, thundering into the tent and reminding you that you definitely were not supposed to be there. You looked at Cedric as he turned back to you and it was clear that you both reluctantly knew that you had to leave. You stared at him for a moment, brows drawn together, before you shoved the bag you held into his hand and gave it a squeeze. Leaning up, you pecked him on the cheek and immediately stepped away, not quite ready to deal with the aftermath of that particular decision.

“Please be safe, Ced.”

True to his word, he was okay. You’d almost had a heart attack when the Swedish Short-Snout got close to him, but you were beyond happy to see him in the Hufflepuff Common Room, sitting like a king with a mushed-up cream pie in his grasp. You were not at all impressed to see the burn on his face, though, and you were in half a mind to chew him out over it until he spotted you across the room. Immediately, he was stalking over to you and you found yourself doing the same, rushing towards him. You met halfway, throwing your arms around his neck and burrowing your head into his shoulder, breathing in his scent.

“I told you I’d be okay,” he whispered, his free hand rubbing gently up and down your back so lightly you thought you might faint.

He waited until you were there to open the egg and you definitely wished he hadn’t when a horrible screeching noise filled the air. The days that followed as he tried to figure out the contraption, you realised that the Triwizard Tournament had taken over your entire life. For months, what would happen next and more importantly, Ced’s safety had become your first priority and undeniably, that thought scared you. You listened dutifully, as a good friend should when he told you about the advice from Professor Moody to open the golden egg underwater, or when he talked about Harry or the next task, but anyone could tell you were distracted as you tried to imagine what you would do if anything happened to him. Your mind ran away with ideas of something happening to him with you having never told him how you actually felt.

“So,” Cedric said, elbowing you and breaking you out of your reverie one lunchtime. You’d imagined him a lot in the recent days and as you turned to him, your heart stopped a little to see his face in person, as handsome as ever.

“Why are you being strange?”

“I’m not being strange,” you said, though it came out more like a question.

“So, why have you been staring into the distance for the last fifteen minutes, then?” he asked, raising his eyebrows and biting into an apple.

You felt heat rush to your face and you looked down, trying to hide.

“At first I thought you just wanted to let me down gently.”

“Gently about what?”

You shoved the food on your plate around with your fork, desperately unhungry.

“The Yule Ball.”

“What about it?” you asked, frowning as Ced leant over your forearm and placed a strange looking bun on the table in front of you.

“I want you to go with me,” he said softly, his eyes nervous as you made eye contact. Why on Earth would Ced be nervous, you thought, assuming you were mistaken.

“You want to go with me?”

You’d been examining the bun closely when you looked up at him, your fingertips sinking into the delicate white icing as you froze. You couldn’t quite keep up with what was happening and you found yourself blinking far too much, your chest tightening in the process.

“You don’t have to-“

“Don’t you want to go with Cho Chang? Or that Granger girl? Or-“

“Why are trying to talk me out of asking you?”

You looked down, desperately aware of his eyes on you as you peeled your fingers from the sticky icing.

“What’s this?” you asked, nodding to it.

“Something to sweeten the deal,” he said and you could hear the distinct smile in his voice. “Also, you looked sad and you always bake me things with I’m sad.”

“Did you bake this?” you turned to him, frowning, the sound of your heartbeat growing louder in your ears.

“No,” he scoffed, shaking his head and taking another bite of his apple. “I’m just very nice to the house-elves.”

You smiled, huffing a laugh at his pleased expression.

“I don’t think I can go with you, Ced,” you admitted, swallowing gruffly and avoiding his eyes. “To the ball.”

“Why not?”

His voice was small and you wish you hadn’t known him well enough to hear the hurt in it.

“Because to you, it would just be as friends.” You paused, an odd regretful relief flooding through you. “And I like you way more than a friend should.”

“I’m not asking you as a friend,” he said.

You frowned, your eyes lifting up and to the side, before you turned to face him, surprised to see him quietly cocky and not at all like you’d ruined his life by admitting your feelings, as you’d expected you would.

“As a best friend?” you asked, your voice unmistakably hopeful.

You watched a smirk play on his lips and a mischievous glint sparkle in his eye and something you’d never felt before stirred in your chest. He finally broke eye contact, shaking his head and looking down.

“I think you know the answer to that.”

harry potter tag list:

@creator-appreciator​

@loveisblindness​

@xinyourdreamsx​

@brainlesspasta​

@hariosborn​

@staringmoony​

@rexorangecouny​

@alittletoomanyobsessions​

@peachesandpinks​

@yuptha-tsme​

@obsessedwithrandomthings​

@dreamer821​

@iprobablyshipit91​

[icharchivist]

this is actually bewildering how despite how little my mom and i manage to talk or connect with one another, when our interests end up crossing it end up crossing in the most bonkers way possible.

anyway under cut mention of ob//ey me and huh. Discussion of religions that probably qualify as heresy and probably would upset very religious people. (??? i’m not really sure but just in case.) consider yourself warned i guess?

Anyway this post have another degree off hilarity if you follow me for long enough to know about my mom and similar situations before.

As i mentioned, don’t get along with her, bad emotional bagage yadayadayada, but she is the reason i ended up caring this much about history and how much we overread and discuss on some topics, especially those concerning the Bi//ble and stuff. (disclaimer: she’s je//wish, my father insisted on giving me a ca//tholic education, but my mom always insisted on some readings and stuff, and idk what i am nowadays but neither my mom and i are religious if it makes sense, but we did study the topic in depth.)

but i am a fiction person first, though when a fiction i like is based on some historical stuff i often end up digging there.

Which led to bonkers situation in the past where, say, when i was obsessed  over d//gm was the time my mom kept watching stuff about APOCRYPHS like YEAH SURE. Then dr//agon age, turNS OUT it was when my mom was watching documentaries about templars ALL THE TIME. THEN when i got obsessed with g//bf because of Percival, it was when my mom was OBSESSED about Arthurian documentaries and i would often walk in the living to hear her go through those. And, ofc, religionwise, the fact my mom has a fascination with the Sumerians and the Arcadians, and have been studying and watching about Canaan and its culture for years, which also coincide with the time period i was deep into w///mtsb. Canaan being the place most myth around Lucifer, or as he was called, Helel Ben Shahar, originated from Canaanite religions (esp Ugarit’s), and is also the place that saw the importance of Ba’al ie Beelzebub grow before the hebraic religion took hold of it. Basically the long story short is that a lot of the mythos found in the To//rah is inspired by the myths from those regions that were lost to the time and it’s often why the deity from those regions are now the names of popular demons.  (if you’re into g///bf : ofc Lucifer and Bubs should be a telling, Sahar is Lucio as you know, Canaan was the place Lucifer lived in.)

aND LET ME BE CLEAR this is COMPLETELY accidental, i never talk to her about stuff i like (she doesn’t listen anyway), and when she ends up discussing those with me i’m already in an hyperfixation that match accidentally. idk how we have THIS as a timing OUT OF ANYTHING ELSE.

This is like. My normal life okay. Anyway it’s actually not unusual for us to discuss Canaan’s mythos when we see each other, since well we both made researches about it, let’s go. “Canaan is actually the most common discussion topic i have with my mom that isn’t tainted by personal trauma” top ten bewildering sentence but that’s my life let’s go.

Another important piece of setting, we were eating at a restaurent (my country banned the possibility to go on restaurent without a proof you’re vaccinated so we were safe just so it’s clear)

So, we were at dinner discussing Canaan on my birthday LIKE ONE DOES, and look. I at least AM prepared for my mom to go on tangente about Beelzebub. While it came out of nowhere, i am not surprised my mom started to talk about the inspiration behind Satan in the middle of the dinner.

what i didn’t expect was her suddenly going “and of course here we have Asmodé. Do you know who Asmodé is?”

me, stupid: “this is awfully familiar why do i know who Asmodé is. Well if it’s linked to Canaan his name must have become one of a demon so i must know an Asmo---”

and suddenly i froze. and i started laughing. like a fucking moron.

Meanwhile my mom “well you know Asmodé actually was the king of said country who-”

“Who opposed King Solomon yeah? yeah. yeah i know.”

“Exactly, so you know who is Asmodé.”

and then i bursted into laughing and i had to explain to my mom about the fucking dating app. I had to explain it to my mom. 

“I didn’t recognize Asmodé right away because i’m used to his english name, Asmodeus. And yeah i know him he called me this morning on my fucking app to wish me a happy birthday.”

at least it made my mom laugh as well.

I mentioned to her who were the seven brothers and i love. That when i said “and ofc Belphegor and Beelzebub”

My mom still unaware: “ oh yeah!! the two who are based on Baal! Baal Phégor and Baal-Zebub who are based on the same divinity and why those two demons were associated with the cult of Baal.”

Me still holding a laughter “yeah they’re twins in game.”

My mom: “AS THEY SHOULD BE.”

My mom NEVER listens to me talk about the fiction i like unless it’s connected to something she likes like that (bc then it means she can go “since it’s like that in your fiction DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS-” and tangente back on the legends and stuff)

Anyway so the thing is that we went deeper into this conversation, as one does, so we talked in depth, as usual, about Satan, Beelzebub, Asmodeus, L I K E O N E D O ES. 

And halfway through the mean i suddenly realized that the people on the table next to us, who i noticed were speaking english to start with though they understood french just fine, had been looking at us awkwardly for a long time. The woman especially was looking at me very weirdly.

It took me a few minutes to realize that they probably overheard us talk about demons the entire time and that i totally mentioned to my mom “so i have this dating app where i can date Lucifer, Mammon, Leviathan, Satan, Asmodeus, Beelzebub and Belphegor”, a totally fucking normal conversation. That i don’t know if they understood everything we were saying bc we talk so fucking fast to start with, and also the fact i worry bc while it’s ofc you can run into religious french people, english speaking people tend to be more religious and in my experience? know much more demon names than the average french religious person. SO THIS WAS AWKARD.

SO. What the fuck do i even do with this. What the fuck do i even DO WITH ALL OF THIS.

And like i said i’m actually used about us talking about Canaan and i legit wouldn’t have connected the dots if she just talked about Beelzebub, i’m used to him, it’s Satan that destabilized me because my mom brought him up when we were talking about Seth, the Egyptian god (and the irony that Mankind is the “descendant of Seth” by the To//rah, and we were talking about how Seth (Egyptian) was associated to “Baal” and then my mom so proudly went “and then, because of that, Set, known also as Sutek => Satan” and i had to keep a sTRAIGHT FACE as if my first thought wasn’t “yes the guy i want to kiss all the time, continue.”) and then it’s  Asmodeus that made me lose my damn shit, and i’m also realizing the absolute irony that i was listening to the ob//ey me songs while coming to join my mom for dinner to start with. 

I was totally prepared about a conversation about Canaan, that’s my mom’s hyperfixation let’s say. I didn’t expect that it’d come with “sudden realization that just like those others times where our interests crossed, this is happening again over this dating app i play with”

I legit don’t know what to say more i’ve been laughing none stop since i came back home. My normal i guess.

[straymackerel]

idk if your requests are open but if they’re not then feel free to ignore this. 😅 id like to request an imagine with dazai having a long, deep conversation with his new co-worker who happens to be a former member of the port mafia but she left for obvious reasons and only fukuzawa knows for now but ofc dazai being dazai, he’s sharp af so he decided to talk to her bc one, he understands her and second he developed feelings for her shortly after she joined ada. thanks in advance! 🥰

➽─{done! they were actually closed, but this was such a fun request i made it 2k long (✿´ ꒳ ` )}─❥

You often wonder if it was something you said.

Ever since you joined the Armed Detective Agency, all of your new coworkers have been nothing short of friendly and accommodating. All of them––except for the bandaged mystery who can’t quite take his eyes off of you.

At first you thought it was just your imagination. When he answered your questions dismissively, you thought maybe he didn’t have a way with words. When he bailed on group trips to Café Uzumaki––but only when you were going too––you brushed it off as a coincidence. And when you first ‘caught’ him fixated on you, looking you square in the face from his own desk, you hoped he was actually looking at something above your head or next to you.

After all, in the Port Mafia, you always felt as if you were being watched, precisely because you were being watched. Your every move was silently documented, your behavior acutely observed within a larger culture of distrust and suspicion. You wondered if maybe you carried that instinctive unease with you to your new day job. (The only proper day job you’ve ever held.)

But there was no need for deft maneuvers to realize that this intimidating brunette was, indeed, staring you down in silence. He has no intention of hiding it; he’s openly tracking your movements, peering into your essence. And the most unnerving part of all: he’s smirking half of the time. If you didn’t know any better, you would confront him the first chance you got; but your situation is precarious, delicate. You have no business drawing attention to yourself, a former member of the Port Mafia. Sure, the President is already aware of your circumstances, but the Mafia has engrained the virtues of secrecy into you. You hope to keep your past on the down low.

Besides, there’s something off about this brown-haired detective. Something you realized at the beginning of your employment, way before he started staring into your soul. Something you hope you’re wrong about.

So you wait it out, anxiously. Drained by the presence of your colleagues, you find yourself in Café Uzumaki alone one slow-moving afternoon. The paperwork was piling up, the tension in the air almost tangible as Dazai declined yet another offer to do actual field-work with the others in favor of keeping tabs on you (unbeknownst to anyone else). You’d left the office at your earliest convenience, hoping to relax in the corner with your favorite beverage.

It is all you can do to keep from spewing the profane as he invites himself to your table, waltzing in without a care in the world. 

You’re trapped.

Ordering himself a double shot espresso, your coworker ignores your apparent apprehension as he gets comfy in his booth seat. Downing his drink while you’ve barely touched yours, he glances behind him to check out the waitstaff. No words are exchanged until the baristas are out of earshot.

“Well, you certainly seem to have a vested interest in me,” you say in the most nonchalant manner manageable––nervous because of his constant surveillance, but also because he’s quite handsome for a borderline stalker.

“You can drop the tight-lipped smile,” Dazai replies, eyes darkened.

You lower your voice, hackles raised. “How much do you know?”

“I suppose it’s all speculation, but my hunches are rarely wrong. You chose to work at a detective agency after all.” Though he’s avoided your question, the look on his face tells you everything you need to know. Eyes narrowed, the corners of his mouth upturned, he most definitely has your former occupation pegged.

“What gave it away?” is the only thing you can think to say.

“Are you sure you want to know?”

“Perhaps it will aid me in playing detective,” you quip. He chuckles dryly.

“Oh, where to start. That concealed weapon you carry––it’s not issued by the Agency. Though its outline is comparable to our standard Beretta 92FS Inox sidearm, there are some subtle differences, even when it’s tucked away and wrapped in cloth.” You raise your eyebrows, surprised that anyone would notice.

“The way you move soundlessly and seamlessly,” he continues, not bothering to pause. “It’s obviously second nature. You hardly make a sound if you can help it. And then there’s your understanding of the underworld, even though you try to hide it. You obviously know much more than you let on; your knowledge is too convenient. You claim to know just the perfect tidbit or two for a case, having overheard a street vendor or a barkeep, but the expression on your face is all too telling of a certain sense of pride. Such a seemingly mild-mannered sweetheart as yourself. Did you know that when you flinch at violence, you always react a hair slower than everyone else, as if you’re simply following suit? Also––”

“Okay, OK, I get it,” you say, defeated. “So that’s the reason why you’re leering at me every day? To add to this never-ending list of yours?”

“Well...” Dazai’s voice trails off. His features relax for the briefest moment, more alarming than reassuring to you. And then that nagging thought resurfaces. That is, the very first thing that came to mind when you were first introduced to him. Again: something you hope you’re wrong about.

“You’re quite suspicious yourself,” you interject. “Let alone your little stalker habit... you have the same name as him.” The corners of his eyes crease. 

“That’s an odd way of putting it,” he says with a hint of mirth in his voice, and not a smidgen of denial. Fuck.

Logic dictates that you should be scared shitless right now, sitting across from one of the most dangerous men in Mafia history. Logic dictates that you should’ve used more covert methods of uncovering his past. Straightening up, you tell yourself not to think about it.

“Well, I was under the impression that Dazai Osamu was only a legend and nothing more. I mean, a teenage orphan prodigy who threw their life as a Mafia exec away, only to disappear forever? Sounds like bullshit,” you state with as much cool-headedness as you can muster.

“I take that personally!” he gasps, twisting his arms every which way in mock offense, as if to shield himself from your harsh commentary. 

“You didn’t consider changing your name?”

“Not even once.” He winks, to which your heart may or may not skip a beat. Are you scared, or oddly enamored?

You push your cup along your side of the table. “How come you turned tail too? You had the status to do literally anything you wanted.” He brushes it off.

“What is this, my interview? The last time I checked, you were the one on trial,” he says, waving his hand like he’s batting your assertion out of the air.

“I’m on trial?” you ask, the cup coming to a stop. “Do the others have suspicions as well?”

“Oh no, nothing in particular to go on. Though Ranpo most definitely has you figured out,” he says, to which you startle. “...but he couldn’t care less, so don’t worry.” You unintentionally sigh relief as he continues: “My colleagues have this peculiar way of testing their new recruits. We call it an ‘entrance exam.’ And before you ask, I’m not responsible for administering yours, but I might be able to push you in the right direction.”

“Any hints?” 

He shakes his head, “Not really. No general tips or tricks. I need some more information,” he says, leaning in a bit. “So tell me about yourself. Why leave the Mafia for the ADA?”

You press your lips together, realizing he’s asking you the very same question he himself dodged moments ago. “I needed a change of atmosphere. And scenery. I wasn’t quite taken up with the constant death threats and daily bloodshed.”

“Oh, death threats? And bloodshed? I don’t suppose you were on the receiving end?” Dazai asks, one eyebrow cocked.

You laugh a restrained laugh, nodding. “I wasn’t. But those kinds of tactics... they aren’t in my nature. Everything about that job was suffocating, and I just couldn’t do it anymore.” Dazai looks at you thoughtfully.

“It’s interesting, though. You carry your past line of work in all of your mannerisms. Any chance you were born into it?”

You nod again, “Not my choice.”

“What a coincidence.” He flashes a toothy smile, silence thickening the air. You scramble to break it, eager to talk about something else.

“...So? Any advice for my test?”

“I’d be a little more forthcoming if only you’d tell me the full truth,” Dazai responds, and your face falls.

“What do you mean?” Your strained voice comes out meeker than you’d like, and it’s Dazai’s turn to sigh. He leans back into his booth seat, as if a little distance might solve your unease.

“I lost someone. The best friend I’ve ever had. He told me I wouldn’t find what I was looking for in the Mafia, so here I am. And I’m pretty sure you have someone like that too.” How does he know? Why is he telling you this? Your hands––they’re clammy. You turn your gaze to your lap, realizing that he’d dismantle anything but the truth. There are no options but one.

“It was... a family member.” More silence. Is your nose getting red? You hope your nose isn’t getting red.

“The Mafia threatened them?” he prods.

“They were collateral,” you say slowly. You hadn’t expected to talk about them today. You hadn’t expected any of this from a coworker who kept you at several arms’ lengths for days. Another coworker might respond “that’s horrible,” or “I’m sorry for your loss,” but not Dazai.

“Dazai, do you ever wonder if it’s our fault they got hurt?”

“No,” he replies immediately. Then he hesitates. “I mean, yes, and for a very long time, but not anymore. Evil will do evil; if not to our loved ones, then to someone else.” 

He’s right. Of course he’s right.

“But does it make it any easier?” You peer at him, hopeful, and he dismisses your expectations with a quick shake of the head. “Right.” Pause. 

“But you’ve come to the right place. Unlike the Mafia, this is an environment where you can heal. Sometimes the wounds reopen,” he says, “but I promise you that your feelings will go towards something productive.” You swallow, blinking back would-be teardrops. The salty marinade seeps back into you.

Then, under your breath: “Okay.” “Thank you.” 

“Of course. I could talk about this all day.” The tightness in your throat dissipates, the water in your eyes no longer threatening to spill.

“So, the entrance exam? I’ve told you everything now,” you pry. He thrums his fingers, amused.

“Oh, that won’t be necessary. I figured pretty early on that you would be okay. You’re gonna pass just fine without my help––I only wanted to get to know my new coworker better.” His fingers stop as he gauges your response.

“Wha–?” This guy! He played you, straight to the verge of tears..! Shoulder tense, you jump to your feet.

“Sorry to deceive you. I’ll see you upstairs, then.” Jeez, the bandaged bastard’s already heading out!

“Wait!” Cheeks flushed, you’re unsure why you’re calling out to him, but it makes him stops in his tracks.

“...Yes?” 

“...You’re not gonna tell anyone, right?”

“I’ll think about it.” Dazai’s coy voice is all but reassuring.

“No, seriously,” you plead, eyes wide. “I really need this. God forbid someone else prompts a retelling of my life story.” He turns to face you.

“Then let’s make a deal.”

“What kind of deal?” 

He steps towards you, leaning in to whisper in your ear: “Meet me in front of this building tomorrow at 10 PM. There’s a restaurant I want to take you.” You feel your mouth open, then close by itself. 

This is it. This is why he can’t look away from you. If he was only observing you, he could, would do it without being so obvious. You’re sure of it now. You replay each once-menacing occurrence of eye contact from the past few days in your head, and you notice something new. Hunger? Want? Even greed? You can see it in his eyes right now. Those eyes, they threaten to dance around, maybe even travel a bit... lower. 

(You jest yourself. ‘Once-menacing?’ He’s still menace, still a danger.) He turns away, heading for the door again, not waiting for a response:

“Don’t be late.”

A chill runs up your spine. It’s a mix of fear, and bitterness, and panic, but most of all... 

A growing anticipation.

[fangirlinginleatherboots]

how do you keep track of trauma anniversaries? i’ve tried so so so hard to remeber mine but not even the most recent one can i pin down. i can barely even remeber the season. so every time i start struggling for seemingly no reason...i have this fear that it could be my trauma anniversary because i can’t remeber.

Okay so a really important thing to note is you shouldn't be trying to remember it or pin it down.

Unless you already know when the anni is bc of documentation, you shouldn't be trying to find out. That's dangerous and unhealthy. You risk uncovering stuff you aren't ready for and also it's obsessing and fixating on your trauma.

Also like. It doesn't matter. Unless you experience an anniversary affect, it doesn't really affect your recovery or help with processing to know the exact time of year. If anything its just gonna get you freaked out.

If you think you might be experiencing am anniversary affect on a date that is unestablished for you, write it down and move on. If next year you find yourself writing down the same day, then that's it.

Additionally, in my experience, anniversary affects tend to be mild for one time traumas or things that only happened one year. Anniversy affects that are full blown and extended tend to be for traumas that reoccur for several years in the past around the same date. Not to say a single occurrence trauma anni won't be devastating, it absolutely can be, but full on destabilization generally coincides with those reoccurring dates.

-Lou, Lucy, Cam, Adam

-------------------------

it's perfectly normal to have fluctuations in symptoms from time to time, whether it has to do with trauma or not (eg, phys disability related conditions, depression in nonsurvivors, etc). having symptoms worsen on some days/weeks doesn't indicate anything. additionally, not everyone who has undergone trauma necessarily has a trauma anniversary where their symptoms worsen--dates only affect your brain if you are a) obsessing over the date getting closer/it being the date or b) your brain subconsciously recognizes the date due to a recurring trauma that happens at around the same date every year or a trauma event wherein the date was somehow imprinted into your brain such as a death anniversary or something where you had just looked at a calendar etc. many people, both with multiple trauma history occurring on different dates and single trauma history, are not affected by specific times of year or specific dates. IMO searching for one is unhealthy, because again symptom spikes aren't inherently caused by anniversaries, and if anything you'll simply end up causing your own symptoms to worsen because you become fixated on the date

- switchcase