#also at your big age of 22 why are you bullying me for liking music

[allys-fairlylocal]

i’m in college and when the new era started all my friends were *gobsmacked* to find out how insane i am about tøp. and i was like. guys. i have been insane about them since i was 12, but i was bullied for it so i stopped talking about it😭 now im being bullied for it again but i don’t even care because it means less ticket competition when they announce the tour dates💯

[loptyrs-moved]

Can you talk more abt ur fandoms ocs? I like your writing a lot and would like to know more abt em

Oh my goodness I’m 🥺🥺🥺🥺 you’re SO sweet thank you!

Well, I have quite a few and some have their own deeper lore stories that go with them. If you guys want more information on them, I can do separate posts on all of them. But Here they are! I’m so excited to share my babies with you!

More is under the cut. The Picrew I used is here.

Ikemen Revolution

Black Army Side

Corrin Fukui

Age: Appears to be in mid-early twenties

Hair: Brick white

Eyes: Blood Red

Height: 4′11

Any other Qualities:

Draconic features -- She’s literally a dragon but not by nature

Curved Opalescent Horns

Shimmery opalescent tail

Wings that also shimmer in the light

retractable?

Pointed ears

Easily frightened by loud noises and sudden movements

stunted growth

Hoards blankets and comfort items

writes in a journal every day 

its one luka got for her and she refuses to write in anything else. she pours her heart out on the pages, and all her memories

she had a brother! but he passed away because of the magic tower :(

turns into a gIANT DRAGON 

ICE ICE BREATH BABY

Was found by Luka while on a patrol near the forbidden forest, lost and afraid, so she was taken in

Had amnesia at first

She actually is an experiment of Amon and she managed to escape

Excellent at sewing and gardening

Sufficient with baking

She’s for Luka! The way they fell for each other was a slow, gradual trust, and mutual understanding. She saw him as a man, as he was, and nothing else.

Sometimes is called Corri

gentle hearted and innocent

but not as innocent as you’d think 

she’s a dragon, and she’s a greedy little one

Ophelia Dae

Age: 24

Hair: Crimson red

Eyes: Jade green

Height: 5′8

Any other Qualities:

A skilled swordsman, and one of the Chosen Thirteen

9 of Spades baybeee

While she is more accustomed to short swords and sabers, Phelia is a magic user! But she isn’t really in agreement with Ray with his stance on magic

BOMBASTIC AS HELL

BISEXUAL

“Is he bothering you Queen?”

Trans

Was friends with Ray and Fenrir while in school, and was just as much of a hellraiser as them

she was there when the day things went dark happened and was almost taken but that day is a blur for her

phelia REFUSES to talk about it

she still has nightmares

raised by a single mother

TRIVIA! She was an old fire emblem oc i had and she was the daughter of Arvis -- so if you squint when she uses magic you’ll see Valflame

joined the army probably because Fenrir was too, and she was inspired by him 

she joined for her own reasons but he made it easier for her to do it too

his passion was what made her fall for him in the first place

has a personal vendetta against the magic tower for what they did to her and her friends

AND CORRIN JEEZ

will sacrifice herself if necessary to the cause

PROBABLY HAS ALMOST DIED BECAUSE OF IT

Bruh girl

Amira Nasiri

Age: 22

Hair: Chocolate brown

Eyes: Turquoise blue

Height: 5′3

Any other qualities:

My version of Alice! Difference is that she’s Persian

That’s it

She’s just as spunky as Alice 

however she responds with being called Alice a little different

she’s adamant about being called Amira

At some point she just accepts Seth does it to distance himself

also an avid baker like alice

pISTACIOS

BAKLAVA

Amira is just Alice except she’s just my take on her. 

She has the same vibrant spirit as Alice

and I personally consider Seth the canon route for REASONS

just ask me why fjgdfgjksd

Red Army Side

Azul Flores

Age: 25

Hair: Raven black

Eyes: Wisteria purple

Height: 5′0

Any Other Qualities:

An old friend of the Queen of Hearts

like she met him when she was 8 years old

fought his bullies when they would give him a hard time when he was a kid

they dated for a WHILE

did NOT work out

HARD CHILDHOOD

Ambitious, hard working young woman who was married into a high standing family on the Red side. Her mother was a teacher and gained the attention of one of the Chosen Thirteen on that side, and got married

Azul is NOT the officer’s daughter. She’s his step daughter

Has had extensive studies on the History of Cradle and of the Red Territory.

Wants to be a Cradle Historian

Works for the Red Army as a personal assistant to the queen

UNINTENTIONAL

THEY ACTUALLY CANT STAND EACH OTHER

Unless....

Look their story is very dramatic and it hurts me every day so please stay tuned with them. 

CUT THROAT BITCH

YOUR DEVIL

DEMON

Heckles Jonah like its her job — she knows him better than anyone elsd, if anyone knows his bs, its her

Bad resting bitch face

Actually really shy, and quiet when in different surroundings

A sweetheart and will cut a bitch for you once she knows u

She is perhaps one of the most transparent, honest, genuine person. there is no bullshit with her. she will tell you her honest thoughts with you

Cerise Nam

Age: 19

Hair: Berry Pink

Eyes: Petal Pink

Height: 5′2

Any other qualities:

Her mom came to Cradle from a far off place, and set up a food and pastry shop in the Central Quarter. Met her dad. Been there since

They live in Black Territory

She works for her parents and works with the pastries/desserts

loves making desserts from where her parents are from

She knows the Queen of Hearts VERY well since she makes the best mille feuille

Got a job from him actually, and works for the Red Army Headquarters kitchen

Loves to cook and bake!

a little naïve, but she’s a realist

youngest of FIVE kids!!

Morning girl

She may be petite but she can HEAFT heavy bags of flour/rice/dry goods

Met Zero by accident, and crashed into him while in town

love at first sight for her. how can you fault her?

she thinks he’s dreamy... and sweet...

does she flirt with him a little? Cerise can’t help it...

She and Zero have more of a hidden relationship because she fears her parents won’t approve

family stuff -- and she understands

RED ARMY OFFICER?? BLACK TERRITORY GIRL

look im cheesy

dont worry it works out

zero has to consider himself and his own personal stuff too so its a little difficult 

Non Army Suitor(s)

Lucile Lidell

Age: 20

Hair: Straw blonde

Eyes: Aqua blue

Height: 5'1

Any other qualities:

She and her twin, Noelle, are the actual descendants of the original Alice

Inherited unusual hairpins that were from cradle

More of the 'modern woman stuck in the wrong time' kind of gal

Rebellious

Noelle and Luci: partners in crime

Short skirts galore

Does not give a singular shit of what MEN think of her

Wants to be taken seriously

Sometimes acts like an airhead in order to get attention. She's actually pretty somber as a person and prefers to be in the background as her sister takes the stage

loves her sister more than anyone else in the world

When she and Noelle fall into Cradle, they kind of hightail it and live in the woods with Harr and Loki

Sticks with Harr since he's literally the least threatening man ever

First man to feel safe around

"Excuse me he said NO pickles!"

Will cut a bitch for him, or use magic -- luci will hurt someone if they even think a bout looking at him wrong

Loves to make clothes

'I mended the holes in your cloak for you...' 'Bye Harr, be safe and have a good day.'

'Welcome home, I missed you.'

Puts up a tough girl front but she's just a big softie just like him

Doesn't realize she has a crush on him until shit starts to hit the fan

Actually very vanilla tbh but wants to spoil her bf

Ikemen Sengoku

Ito Tsunade

Age: 26

Hair: Straw Blonde

Eyes: Molten Gold

Height: 5′5

Any Other Qualities:

Graduate student at the same university as Sasuke 

got stuck in the storm with him and Mai, and was tossed into the sengoku era

but she got separated from Mai

Met Shingen first much to her luck because uh.... lets say Tsunade is aint the sharpest tool in the shed

HEAD EMPTY

ZERO THOUGHTS

AIRHEAD

her aesthetic when she gets there?

TITS OUT

BIG HONKERS BIG TATA

HOT

her head might be empty but her tits are fat and they will protect you

Music nerd — loves traditional Japanese instruments, especially the difficult ones

Specializes in girl metal in modern day

eventually proves herself and plays some sick chords for the takeda/uesegi forces

she has entertained them for now

puts sake away like a monster

when she meets sasuke, she finds comfort in the fact he’s also lost with her, so she clings

asks him how to protect herself from shingen bc he’s horny lolol

genuinely thinks sasuke is hilarious

also does NOT realize she’s in love with him until the gravest of grave happens

her name was UNINTENTIONAL

Aibana Hinata

Age: Presents in his early-mid twenties

Hair: Black Midnight

Eyes: Haunting gold and vermillion

Height: 5'3

Any other qualities: 

The concubine of Nobunaga

Please know I made him a long while before the other guy was dropped so I’m just gonna offer this little gay boy

Nobunaga bought him from a brothel after being so intrigued by him. Hina entertained him so well that he was set for life

A RIGHT SNARKY BASTARD

HE KNOWS HE’S PRETTY AND CAN GET AWAY WITH MURDER

Likes to challenge Nobunaga in battles of wits

board games

debate as pillow talk

swordplay if the lords will entertain him enough

Bisexual as hell

Gender? Don’t know her

He uses all pronouns

True pronoun: princess

ONLY EXISTS IN A UNIVERSE WHERE THERE IS MAI

Nobunaga/Mai/Hinata........

Unless.......

Smart, and educated

former geisha

he can read! and write!

LOVE FUCKING WITH HIDEYOSHI

if there is mai, he would bond with her like no one else

he would be her best friend

her confidant

genuinely adores her

even if she is pursuing nobunaga, he doesn’t resent her ... he just wishes that she would find room in her heart for him too

puts up a tough exterior

a softie.....

[lin-dorie]

Cuties/Mignonnes, from the project to the meaning and international public interactions

OK Let’s talk about it. 

Let me tell you what Cuties is really about, the meaning behind it and what you need, as an international public, to understand it properly.

/!\ Spoilers needed. 

So Mignonnes/Cuties is French-Senegalese movie produced by Bien ou Bien Production in collaboration with Netflix for international distribution. Maimouna Doucouré is an award winning director, she’s french-senegalese, 35 years old, grew up with a dad and two mothers surround by a big religious family. Nothing wrong, just a little girl having thoughts and dreams like any others. 

Mignonnes, her very first long metrage, is based on a study she conducted for the project. She interviewed hundreds of young people with her team (pedopsychologist included) to collect a lot of infos and ressources to built a movie dealing with young people anxiety, sexual discovering, bullying, social media and young black people representation in movies. 

I. Story telling from someone who watched it.

Amy is 11 year old, she came in France with her mom and little brother. While hidden, she discovered that her dad is in Senegal and will soon come back with a second wife as it is authorized by Islam and accepted in Senegal. Her mom and aunt don’t tell her anything but she saw her mom crying about the topic, not knowing what’s happening, she ressents her dad and her condition as a refugee, the typical “it was better where we were before”. 

Her family is muslim, she wore a hijab to her religious ceremonies and practice like she was told to, without the opportunity to do otherwise. In her building there’s a girl, Angelica, she has a rebellious side in opposition to her workaholics parents and she dances hip-hop style which Amy has never saw. She befriend her and her circle of friends and decided to dance with them at a local championship. In order to learn the dance and prove to them she was “cool”, she stole her cousin’s phone, got herself instagram and started relooking herself as a young woman instead of the pre-teen girl style she got before.  But, she gets her periods. She’s afraid, she’s anxious, but most of all she doesn’t understand because nobody told her. Her aunt take care of her telling her “you’re an adult now” and how she wish she’ll live a beautiful life like they are. This is a problem as Amy doesn’t know what it is to be “an adult” nor does she know what it is to grow up, and the only roles model she has at home are her sad mom and her ultraconservative aunt. So she starts acting out, comparing herself to more developped girls, tries to be like them and starts mimicing them for their dances. While fighting for the phone she stoled with her cousin, she locks herself in the bathroom and posts an intimate photo of her on instagram as a last proof she’s a woman. Obviously, she’s getting bullied in school for that, her mom come, slap her across the cheek, call her names and ground her.  Amy became depressed and in her anxiety, tries to reach out for her friends who turned their back on her so they won’t be associated with her.  Nonetheless, she succeed into entering a championship with her former-friends and are disqualifies due to highly innapropriate behaviour on scene.  She go back quickly to her house during a panic attack, her mother comfort her telling her she doesn’t have to attend her father’s wedding if she doesn’t want to. Reassured, she skip the wedding and go play with kids her age. -END-

II. Producing and interpretation. 

DISCLAIMER : Self-made interpretations as someone who’s into thoughtfull movies. It may changes from one person to another. 

As sais before, it was produced by Bien ou Bien Production which a french production corporation based in Bordeaux. They are producing movies dealing with diversity, social issues, minority representation and religious debunking. They also produced Doucouré’s award winning short film “Mom(s)” that was dealing with the topic of polygamy in Senegal, and was based on her own life. 

Being produced by them again for her long metrage was a financial security and a very good deal. She got a France TV (public channels organisation) financial deal and scored that spot into Netflix international catalog making her one of the only black french-senegalese woman director into the international catalog. 

Obviously, as it is not a movie for children/teenagers, there’s few meanings behind the already well written script : 

Growing up without ressources : Amy is a stereotypical 11yo girl who doesn’t know anything about relationships, sexuality and woman body. It is well know that parents tends to have “the big talk” with their children when they are around 15-17yo, but puberty starts around 13yo and with that : sexual desire discovery, gender identity crises and body changes. Innocents idioms like “you’re a big girl now” or “you’re not a child anymore” shortenned childhood, leaving young girls without ressources to develop themselves and, often, shame to ask for answers.

Female representations and social media : We can’t criticize this movie without putting a context around it. Our society has been developped around certains standards, weither they are socials, professional, personnal... Social media and main stream TV promote a way of life that is unattainable for 90% of us but they give us the opportunity to act “as if”. In this movie, Amy is just like one of us except that she is way too young to understand the behaviour she is immitated. You can see it when she doesn’t understand why her friends are lying about their ages, when she’s pushing a girl into the water (possibly drowning the girl), when she cries on stage in front of those parents judging her... What Doucouré is trying to show us is that little girls are little girls, they aren’t tough enough to be shown anything just because it’s socially accepted. 

Children education :  To me, this is the main purpose of the film, showing that it is important to educate children. Predatory behaviour, public image, false advertisment, relationships... There is no “right time” to talk about it, and most of the parents are too late, the fact is protecting your children is also making them understand why this behaviour is dangerous, why this outfit is innapropriate and never blame your children for mistakes they can make. Amy is the exemple of what could happen if you don’t educate your children, and she is brave enough to rise when her my mom take a step toward her to comfort her. 

Religious family and sexual education :  As an atheist, I won’t talk about metaphors behind the prayers or anything, someone who believe in their God the same way her family does will be more adequate to talk about it. But it is one of the main critic and thus, I have to share facts : The movie isn’t centered around it, the only reason it is here is because they needed a traditional figure such as the aunt, they needed a strict environment such as a religious family and they needed a twist that would put the little girl into a negative feeling, they needed her to ressent her situation as a refugee in order to criticize how it is to grow up without help. So why Islam ? Well, in France, we have two main religions : Roman Catholics and Islam. Using Islam as the main religion of the film helped them showing the good sides of this religion such as love, family devotion and loyalty.  Added 22/08/20 : Islam has a lot of branches like any other religion. In Senegal most muslim practice Soufism, find differences between the way you practice and theirs mights come from that. Especially regarding the hijab, it’s common for young people to wear their hijabs only during ceremonies.

III. Streaming plateform and international public : 

If you’ve read all this, you know now that it isn’t about girls twerking or pedo porn normalization, in fact, until Amy came into the group, the girls are doing basic hip-hop dance (well, at least they try...). So how a movie mostly acclaimed by those who saw it can be the center of such a scandal ? 

Well, first let’s talk about culture appropriation.  As a 25yo white european woman I’ve had my share of culture appropriation story, did I mean anything bad when I did it ? No. Was I ignorant ? Yes. As everybody with a little bit of dignity I reflected on myself and stopped whatever the f*ck I was doing that was innapropriate as a white woman. That said, we can’t denied that the world has absorded some part of the black africans culture when it got popularized.

Twerking is actually a mixed between dances from African diasporas (especially Mapouka and Soukous from Ivory Coast and Congo), it is known nowadays a sensual hiphop dance and there is nothing wrong with doing it when you’re a grown up in your right mind doing whatever you want to do. So why using this dance in the movie ? First, it’s part of the heritage of Amy, a 11yo girl who hasn’t lived in a occidental culture before. Second, it is a way of telling you, public, that what you do has consequences. Suggestive dances on TV, sexualized hiphop dances in the streets, rated r music video available on YT... Adult contents are available anywhere, anywhen by anywho. Children included. It is what the director, who study the subject of the impact of oversexualized content on young girls, is trying to tell you through the film. 

Now, Netflix and the art of communication. Netflix has first released a trailer, a poster and a pitch that aren’t the one used to promote the film in the first place (France included). After the start of the backlash they released another set that are stil not the one used to begin with. Why ? Because Netflix is an industry, they aren’t cinema professionnals, they aren’t critics, they are a company like any others. They didn’t watch the film, didn’t understand it and didn’t advertize it as it should : A movie for adults who want to know what they could do to help the younger generations. 

Because a movie isn’t just for entertainment, there is no film just made to amuse you, everyone is trying to tell something thanks to their art. Yes, those same young girls who acted in the movie won’t be able to watch it because they are too young, not because it is inapropriate but because the subject is too thick for them to understand it fully at such a young age. The way Netflix handle the promotion of this movie was also bad because international public can’t resonnate with it the way we do. And I include myself because I was the age of Amy not long ago, in the same country she came to. Cinemas from every country is proper to this country, we have the chance to be able to watch films from other places made by people whom don’t speak our language, have their own religion or not at all and try to reach us with their own issues and traditions. 

I’m not saying this movie will be the best of this year, and I’m not saying that everything inside of it is perfect, what I’m trying to say is that it’s easier to agree with the majority than to forge your own opinion but if you take the time to watch you’ll be able to understand others and empathize with them. 

I hope it will help some of you understand the purpose of the film, that some will be kind enough to watch it before throwing their critics and that most of you will still enjoy movies for watch the director is trying to say instead of what the politics want you to see. 

[betweenthetimeandsound]

Three Minutes to Eternity: My ESC 250 (#140-131)

#140: Lordi -- Hard Rock Hallelujah (Finland 2006)

“You will see the jokers soon'll be the new kings!” I'm semi-convinced that if I heard this song when I was a child, I would've been so scared I would just hide (I also panicked at the cover of Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, though that maybe because I didn't want to read such a long book). Watching it for the first time in 2020, I didn't mind it, though the monsters still puts me off. As much as I like to jam to this one, I can’t see myself listening to it over and over again. That said, one can’t take away from the sheer catharsis of this song, from the opening notes to how Lordi gleefully announces their arrival and thunders down Athens with the arockalypse. Whether it’s the first hard rock winner or the last schlager one, Lordi came, saw, and grabbed a first win for Finland after so many attempts, and made rock more popular in Eurovision for a few years. i You can’t resist yourself from headbanging to this one! Personal ranking: 3rd/37 Actual ranking: 1st/24 GF in Athens

#139: Natasha St-Pier -- Je n'ai que mon âme (France 2001)

“Mais je n'ai que mon âme pour te parler de moi, Oh, juste mon âme, mon âme et ma voix,” “But I only have my soul to talk to you about me. Oh, just my soul, my soul and my voice.” By the turn of the millenium, France switched back to contemporary ballads to represent them. While 1999 and 2000's entries didn't do well, their next two would be really strong songs amongst the weakest years ever, and that's why I appreciate France so much in the contest. Initially, I didn’t get it, because it sounded a bit derivative (not unlike what Celine Dion would sing). However, one thing which won me over was with the intro, which provided the base of a really great build. A soft intro leading to a lush instrumental, it shone above the crowd, and it turned from being "derivative" to being "gentle and sincere. Natasha delivers this with equal parts softness and grace, though the English parts did feel a bit out of place in the end. That might have cost it a (deserved) place on the podium, and France would have wait twenty more years for the next medal-placing. Personal ranking: 2nd/23 Actual ranking: 4th/23 in Copenhagen

#138: Lena -- Satellite (Germany 2010)

“I even painted my toenails for you I did it just the other day!"

Whenever you check the comments of any video on this song, you will note a bunch of angry Turkish people who insist MaNga should’ve won 2010. While I really love their song (and will end up later on the list), Satellite was a worthy winner. Along with its commercial success, Satellite is adorable because it is uptempo, sweet, and infectious. Lena acts like she’s having fun on stage and doesn’t even try to pretend. Her accent, which emerged as a result of her English teacher, adds to the charm and her overall innocence. It’s cute, which can turn off some people, but not me--I really embrace it. Also, Arilena Ara made a cover last year for Eurovision Home Concerts, which you should check out! It keeps the poppy vibe, but adds a funky edge to it. Personal ranking: 4th/39 Actual ranking: 1st/25 GF in Oslo

#137: Lazy Bums -- Shir Habatlanim (Israel 1987)

“עושה לי כוס קפה ומדליק לי הסיגריה יוצא אל המרפסת לפצח גרעינים הציפורים יורדות העציצים של המרפסת ומפזמות איתי את שיר הבטלנים” “I make myself a cup of coffee and light a cigarette I go out to the balcony to crack open some seeds The birds come down to the plants of the balcony And sing with me the bums’ song” The Culture Minister threatened to resign when Shir Habatlanim was chosen for the Israeli entry in 1987, but it adds to the charming element to this performance. After a decade in which the Israeli entries pranced around, this was something different, and the two actors really take on the role. The lyrics were a bit silly, but relatable with the bums not seeing the sun because of the buildings and doing random tasks while hanging out with the birds. The Lazy Song before the Lazy Song, I'm starting to think this is the "reality" on playing hooky, whereas "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" is the "expectations" part (and they are really high in the movie). The Blues Brothers-inspired performance ("We're coming to ya--"), combined with Kobi Oshrat's orchestration, makes this otherwise troll song into a comedic masterpiece. It's three minutes of fun and endearment, and I can't help but smile. Personal ranking: 4th/22 Actual ranking: 8th/22 in Brussels

#136: Antique -- (I Would) Die for You (Greece 2001)

"Κάθησα και σκέφτηκα Κι είδα ότι μ’ αγαπάς Μόνο εσύ, μόνο εσύ" "I sat down and thought Realised that you love me Only you, only you" Greece's first top-three placing in Eurovision is thanks to Helena Paparizou and guy whose name we do not know Nikos Panagiotidis, both who were based in Sweden at the time. They were well known for combining Greek instruments and dance beat; Opa Opa (written by Giorgios Alkaios, see #207 for his entry) is a really good example of this! (Thanks again, Nikos Terzis for composing this too) From the opening bouzouki, Die for You establishes a sense of cool; the pop production following it adds a sense of modernity that the 2001 class lacked for the most part. And compared to Je n'ai que mon ame (#139), the switch from Greek to English is absolutely natural. It feels like being in an exclusive club, filled with dim lighting and a very spacy ambience of it all--though the orange in Parken works as well. And despite being nineteen, Helena oozes cool in all the ways. From her sleek hair to her jumpsuit to how she moves, she makes the song her own, for what it's worth. I frequently find myself copying her handography, though sometimes my desk lamp blocks my left hand, making it feel a bit clumsy. Though I don't say this often, either Antique or Natasha should've won in 2001. Personal ranking: 1st/23 Actual ranking: 3rd/23 in Copenhagen Final impressions on 2001: DR tried to go big with 35,000, but everyone went to drink, and it felt like one hundred. The songs at hand tried hard to be cool, though in some places, we were better off in school. On their own, the strings in our hearts remain broke, though when the trophy did, our minds awoke. Despite the ambitions, the contest would make people leave the room. Thankfully, it was better than that of 2002! :) (On another note, of all the years Italy didn't participate in the contest, 1999 and 2001 were the most irritating. Here, Elisa's Luce (tramonti a nord-est) won Sanremo, and it's a surrealistically beautiful indie song with cool lyrics (especially it was originally written in English, and had to be changed to Italian for the contest). Had they competed, I could see a top-five finish for them, and I could see this as an all-time favorite for me.)

#135: Katerine Duska -- Better Love (Greece 2019)

“Won’t you lean on me You can lean on me Let them look, don’t know, don’t care Go deep with me...” She's not Amy Winehouse, she's Katerine Duska! I had a love/hate relationship with this song during the 2019 season. On the one hand, it’s a really good song, with a lush production and sultry vocals from Katerine Duska. The lyrics, while simple, deals with the theme of love in an interesting way--no matter who you are, you deserve a love that suits you.

On the other hand, considering my grudge towards the 2018 contest, I was worried that this may do well and restart the Greek golden age. That feeling amplified when the rehearsals started, when Katerine and co. had this faerie queene aesthetic. It looked absolutely beautiful, with flowers and fantasy and whimsy. And most important, swords (the MV had sabres whereas the live performance had epees.)!

Of course it qualified, but it collapsed in the final and placed 21st in the end. Some people attributed to how "messy" the staging was, along with Katerine's vocals. In hindsight, I could see it with the former, but the latter remained firm, and she aced that high note.

But it was a good change for Greece, showing that they can do indie music as well as pop and ethno. And Katerine's non-Eurovision songs are fantastic; especially check out Autumn Again and Athenian Skies! Personal ranking: 4th/41 Actual ranking: 21st/26 GF in Tel Aviv

#134: Netta -- Toy (Israel 2018)

“Wonder Woman don’t you ever forget You’re divine and he’s about to regret...”

This has been a total phenomenon ever since its release. However, it’s also quite polarizing, with some people really bopping to this one whether it's on the radio or Tik-tok, and others getting repulsed by the chicken noises or the strong message it provided.

For me, it's Toy's "in-your-face' nature which makes it really special. From the first listen, there's the element of surprise with Netta's looping (the MV intro on Spotify >>> regular studio intro). It then builds until Netta announces herself as a "beautiful creature" and that she wasn't going to be bullied by others. While the songwriters definitely used the "Me Too" movement as a vehicle for the song, it's Netta's influence, along with the Mizrahi instrumentation in the chorus, which packs a punch. Without those chicken noises, Toy would fall flat.

The staging had to be worked on several times, but the final result captured the song's kookiness in every way. From the fake looper to the backing dancer's choreography, the following three minutes is an explosion of fun (though some of the energy died on stage on first viewing).

In short, Netta deserved to win, and those who suggest otherwise is just mean.

Personal ranking: 5th/43 Actual ranking: 1st/26 GF in Lisbon

#133: Mariza Koch -- Panagia Mou, Panagia Mou (Greece 1976)

“Κι αν δείτε ερείπια γκρεμισμένα, όι-όι μάνα μ', Δεν θα 'ναι απ' άλλες, απ' άλλες εποχές, Από ναπάλμ θα 'ναι καμένα, όι-όι μάνα μ'…"

“And if you see shattered ruins, oh oh my Mother, It's not from other, from other eras It is burnt by napalm, oh oh my Mother...”

In their second appearance at the Eurovision Song Contest, Greece sends this politically-charged song to criticize the invasion of Cyprus two years before. The Greek military junta at the time wanted to unite the island with mainland Greece, which led to a coup. As a result, the Turkish government invaded Cyprus, and declared the non-recognized Republic of Northern Cyprus. This status remains to this day, which has hindered Turkey's admission to the European Union.

(Interestingly enough, Turkey broadcast this contest despite not participating, and censored the Greek song to replace it with a patriotic song. Haha)

Dark context aside, it ties into the folk tradition during that time, but adds a Greek touch to it with the bouzouki. Combined with thoughtful yet tragic lyrics, it stands out as a darker yet deeper tone from the 1976 contest. Mariza also conveys this with her clear, yet harsh vocals pinpoint the horrors of what was going on. Also, the orchestration adds to the grandeur of this with its lush strings.

Personal ranking: 3rd/18 Actual ranking: 11th/18 in Den Haag

#132: Chocolate, Menta, Mastik -- Emor Shalom (Israel 1976)

בוא, בוא, בוא עוד היום”, אני עוד כאן אז בוא אמור שלום, אמור שלום

“Come, come, come today, I'm still here so come say hello Say hello..”

From one heavily politically charged song to a slightly less so, haha! Emor Shalom is s very playful and cute song, the three girls charm their potential lover (or diplomatic) with their voices and dance moves.

The hidden political context comes from "shalom"--is it hello, or is it peace? When the song was performed, Israel had been independent for thirty years, but their geopolitical relationships were not good with their neighbors. So the three girls, who sung for the military, were not only hoping for a lover, but also for peace.

The song itself incorporates some elements disco with trumpets, which got me into it in the first place. I'm not entirely sure about how the latter works--they are fine, but it does feel a bit cartoonish. While the lyrics are a bit simple, they still add to it.

Personal ranking: 2nd/18 Actual ranking: 6th/18 in Den Haag

#131: Sonja Lumme -- Eläköön elämä (Finland 1985)

“Kaupungissa on yö, puistoon kanssasi jäin Sä seisot edessäin täynnä toivoa” “It’s night in the city, I stayed in the park with you You’re standing in front me full of hope” Top ten anime opening themes, part two!

From the intro until the end, I love how Eläköön elämä progresses. It not only has a sound which matches with music trends (along with those mullets, but it's the 1980s so we can move on about this...), but also has a joie-de-vivre in terms of the lyrics. I've heard about it being connected to the Cold War; considering it was before glasnost, I'd imagine one of the themes here was to enjoy every moment before the world ends.

Ossi Runne's orchestration mixes the punchy pop-rock with some really good strings and brass. An awesome instrumentation and hopeful lyrics, when put together, you’ve got one of Finland’s best ever entries.

Personal ranking: 1st/19 Actual ranking: 9th/19 in Gothenburg

Final impressions on 1985: While Sweden first hosted in 1975, the production ten years later shows their capabilities in putting on a good show. From the graphics to the stage to Lilli's hosting, it's a totally fun experience. The songs were a bit weaker than it, though there were enough gems to keep the mood buzzing. Plus, there were several good orchestral moments there (especially #193) which made it all the better!

[kathyprior4200]

Velvety Rich and Sickly Sweet

Once there was an African American girl who lived in a big city. Her name was Venessa. As a little girl, she loved playing with dolls and getting dressed up. Tea parties with her friends were a favorite pastime. She adored candy, cake and anything sweet, a craving that lasted for the rest of her life. She dreamed of becoming a famous celebrity.

 As Venessa got older, computers and phones started to arrive. It wasn’t long before she got into social media. She pursued a career in fashion and posted videos of herself in velvet dresses baking cakes and seductively sucking on candies for the males. Her videos went viral and she basked in the online limelight.

 But the more well-known she got, the more she distanced herself from her former family and friends. Venessa soon partook in gossip, laughing at other women and being a self-centered bully. She enjoyed the reactions of hurt people less well-off than her. This was especially true when she became a risqué model and dancer.

 Soon enough, all of Venessa’s actions came back full circle. Venessa soon found herself as a target of bullying and racism. She received one hate comment after another…from the n word, to bad things about her black curly ponytails. Some even called her fat and fake.

 Venessa was furious…so furious that she began to track down the bullies and kill them with knives. Childish laughter could be heard among the screaming victims. Venessa covered her tracks well…after all, no one suspected famous model to be a killer. However, she kept pictures of herself posing with her victims holding her knife.

 But she was soon found out, and almost got arrested. Venessa soon spiraled down into madness, having a crazed breakdown. Distraught over the mean comments, she overdosed on skinny creating drugs. Her body couldn’t take the amount and she died before she was discovered by the police. A mirror was in one hand while a headless doll was in another. Venessa died at age 22 in 2012, the same year as Vaggie.

 Venessa soon arrived in Hell and became known as Velvet. Velvet was a fitting name, due to both her wealth and her fondness for red velvet cakes. She even made an Instagram account called radvelvetcakes. Rad was a word meaning “cool” and “trendy,” the things she always aspired to be. With her status as an overlord, it was…well, a piece of cake.

 Velvet would’ve been demon food if not for two Overlords who decided to take her in. Velvet soon had two friends and fellow Overlords: “Daddy” Vox and “Daddy” Valentino. The former was a wealthy TV demon, who owned all the TV stations in Hell. The latter was a moth pimp, who owned Hell’s number one porn studio. Together, the three Overlords made a near unstoppable fearsome force to be reckoned with. They become known as the Triple Vs. The three of them often hosted lavish parties on yachts and in fancy soirees, electronic music and dubstep pulsing through the air. All three of them controlled the “stimulants” of Hell: TV, drugs, porn, social media and food.

 Vox had a flat screen TV for a head and wore a black suit with a large red bow tie and blue stripes going down the suit. He wore a black top hat with antennas and a teal Wi-Fi symbol on it, the same symbol on his chest. When he first came down to Hell in the 1950s, he had an old boxy TV head. But thanks to his power over electricity, he upgraded himself as the years went on. In his full demon form, the red eyed, sharp blue-toothed man could cause entire blackouts. Formerly a white man named Vincent, with black hair and icy blue eyes, Vox died from a TV falling and crushing his face. In Hell, he continued his sinful actions he did when he was alive: hooking up, doing drugs, and hosting gruesome TV shows for entertainment. TV towers were everywhere, looming like impenetrable metal fortresses. With his showman personality, he stood equal to Alastor in power, if not more.

 Valentino was a light purple moth pimp with antennas and fancy coats. He had a ring of fluff around his neck with small red hearts on it. His glasses were pink and heart-shaped. He was often found lounging on couches with female “clients’ in his lap, smoking red smoke from a cigarette. The smoke itself could drug demons and make them doped up. Cruel and greedy, he enjoyed using and abusing people for his own pleasure, in particular, his porn star and worker Angel Dust. He promised love and pleasure, both of them illusions in the long run. His victims would be helpless and obedient, unable to leave and think for themselves. Valentino was originally Vasilis, a dark-skinned man from Brooklyn who also did drugs, smoked and participated in human trafficking. Valentino had died in the 1970s…and his distant relative was none other than fellow moth demon Vaggie!

 And then there was Velvet herself. She was a black-skinned doll demon, short but very deadly. One of her favorite outfits was a velvet laced white dress with small hearts around it and black shapes. She wore black stockings and pink shoes with white puff balls on it. Her hair was dark pink and in two thick pigtails. She had red sclera and white irises with black pupils. Although she looked and acted like a child, she was in her twenties. Velvet was the Overlord of sweets and social media. If Harley Quinn turned into an animated doll who loved gossiping and tea parties, then that would adequately describe what Velvet was like. Velvet once sat with Vox and Valentino safe in the porn studio during the Extermination. She eagerly checked her phone and took selfies while sitting next to Vox.

 Velvet could go full demon form like the other Overlords, but her power was laced with an extra dose of insanity. For in her most powerful form, she could make deadly potions to use against her enemies. Velvet was skilled enough making regular potion for perfume and to use as beauty products. But she could also make poisons and noxious gas to defeat any demon who dared disobey her and her fellow Overlords. In her most extreme form, she could magically turn her victims into sweets, absorbing their souls as she ate them! Even Vox and Valentino steered clear from her when she was in that form.

 Like a doll, Velvet was doted on by Vox and Valentino, as well as her many followers. All three of them went back and forth from doting their workers to abusing them with deadly threats. Although Velvet enjoyed being spoiled, she often felt like she was treated like a child too much. She was perfectly capable of taking care of herself, even meeting up with Rosie and other wealthy ladies to eat demons in the streets. Velvet was also infamous for sometimes using demons’ blood and organs in her baking.

 Yes, Velvet was living a life of luxury, perhaps second to the royal Magne family and the Eldritch family. Imagine her surprise when she found out that the princess was running a hotel to redeem sinners. She laughed it off, calling Charlie absurd. In many ways, she was similar to Seviathan, Helsa and Katie Killjoy: self-centered individuals who lived on gossip, trends, fashion and putting others down.

 Velvet was frequently seen on and searched many media platforms in Hell: Voxtube, Voxflix, Voxbook, and Voxtagram. The movie and social media sites were all run by Vox, of course. His dimensional monopoly was getting closer to becoming permanent.

 There was her Instagram account: “radvelvetcakes. Fun with the Overlords! Follow and comment to keep up on moth-pimp, voxtagram 8k and me!”

 On July 6, 2020, Velvet posted a selfie of herself smiling on what appeared to be a dance floor decorated with green neon candy tiles.

“This is my newest account! Be sure to tell your friends! Ain’t I a cutie?”

 On the same day, Velvet posted a selfie of her and Vox. Vox didn’t look very happy.

 Vox said, “Chillin in the studio. Rad photo by my girl radvelvetcakes.”

 On July 7, 2020, Velvet posted a picture of Valentino and Vox eating hamburgers at Hell’s version of McDonalds. Vox had his TV mouth open, a hamburger and French fries on his lap.

 “Lol. Voxtagram8k is one to talk. He’s hardly as cool as he thinks he is.”

 A later picture showed Valentino eating a giant chicken sandwich messily.

 Valentino posted, “Picking up the goods,” as Vox and a smiling Velvet got into their limo after going to McDonalds. Vox had a bag in his hand, while Velvet carried two drinks. The McDonald’s M logo was upside down.

 On July 9, 2020, Velvet posted a picture of herself showing off her manicured nails. Her sharp nails were decorated with sparkles, diamonds and little bows. The nails were extended ones. In the background, it looked like Vox’s leg was breaking down a door.

 Later, Valentino mentioned that he would fuck up Velvet for posting bad pictures of him and Vox.

 “Bored and missing the boys so I decided to do my nails up pretty!”

On July 10, 2020, Valentino posted a picture of Vox letting his pet shark loose on a tripping Velvet.

 Valentino said, “Got her. This is the only time I’ll say this, but Vox having a giant demon pet shark actually comes in handy.”

  On July 13, 2020, Velvet was seen beaming in a picture along with Vox, Valentino and their blue pet hammerhead shark.

  On July 20, 2020, Valentino posted a selfie at his new club.

 Valentino: “New club, new pole, anyone else wanna give it a whirl?”

 Stolas: “No thank you. I’m sure even if things are new, the same slime is still around.”

 When asked if Blitzo would do a dance on the pole for Valentino…

 Blitzo: “No, no that won’t happen. I’m too busy with my horses and business.

 Stola: It would be quite the sight. But I wouldn’t wish to see Blitzy working in Mr. Valentino’s establishment.

 Stolas: Why would I ever want the rat to want such an excellent business venture?

 Valentino: Watch yourself, bird.

 Stolas: That’s a lot of talk for an insect.

 Velvet laughed out loud as she read the comments.

 On July 21, 2020, Velvet posted a selfie of herself about to eat a dirty green lollipop with a fly on it. Valentino stared in horror with wide pink eyes under his heart glasses.

 “Val stopped me from eating a lollipop I found on the ground. But what he doesn’t know is that I grabbed it after he tossed it in the bin! #FreeCandy. #LivingFree. #RatsEatShitOffTheGroundAllTheTime.”

 Valentino replied, “Stop, we have money! We can get you another one!”

 Velvet: “It’s mystery flavored! We can do what we want!”

 Vox said to Valentino: “I will not be the one cleaning the toilet tonight.”

 Stolas said, “Wonderful parenting there,” and added a thumbs down.

 Moxxie the imp added, “Why would anyone eat something that was on the ground?”

 On July 23, 2020, Valentino posted a selfie of himself smoking, his eyes glowing pink under his shades.

 Valentino said, “Dealing with Angel always puts me in a bad mood. Gonna go have some fucked up fun.”

 Velvet eagerly asked, “Oooh, oooh, can I join?”

 Valentino replied, “Sure, why the fuck not?”

On July 25th, Velvet went on a killing mission with Vox and Valentino. Velvet was seen in a picture, beaming while holding a knife in her hands. The blade was stained with purple cake frosting.

 Valentino said, “Thanks for the backup today, baby doll.”

 Velvet responded, “It was so much fun! Wish we could do it more often.”

 Valentino added, “Always up for a little messy fun.”

 On July 26th, Velvet posted a picture of herself doing a “duck” face while holding a piece of pink and teal cake on a plate. The rest of the cake was on a plate on a table, with suspicious bloodstains in the frosting. Nearby, a blue demon stood holding a piece while his right shoulder had a bloody bandage on it.

 “So it turned out it was cake!” Velvet posted. Apparently, Velvet had thought that the demon was made of cake, so she had used a knife to slice his shoulder. Then she sliced up the cake and to her delight, it was, indeed, cake. Velvet had gleefully watched videos on VoxTube that showed artistically made cakes that looked like ordinary objects. This led to a meme or an online joke that everything was secretly cake. Velvet briefly wondered if she was cake herself.

  On August 4, 2020, Velvet posted a video of a blue Vox writing down notes and a red Valentino screaming at him. Vox remained unfazed.

 Velvet said: “Laughing my fucking ass off!”

Valentino wasn’t happy and said, “The fuck? You were supposed to advertise my company, not, whatever the fuck this is. Cute drawings, though.”

 Velvet: “Thank you.”

 Valentino: “Lucky you’re a crazy cute bitch.”

 Vox said, “Ur lucky I have a built in mute button. Also, this is perfect! <3.” Vox was the more easygoing, “dad” type individual in comparison to Valentino.

 On August 5, 2020, Velvet happily posed in a picture, holding a pink balloon she was about to pop with a pin. In front of her was an illuminated cake that read “Happy Birthday Gasu,” in reference to an artist who made character art for the show. Valentino had a scowl on his face as his red jacket got messy, the hearts on his fluff turning into broken hearts.

 “Celebrated Gasuguma’s birthday with cake! Love his amazing pictures of Vox, Valentino and me! Happy Birthday!”

 Valentino complained, “Yeah some celebration, stained my fucking jacket. Cake was good, though.”

 On August 6, 2020, valentine posted a picture of Vox in a dark room with two cups of soda in his hands.

 Valentino: “5:30 am. I asked Vox to get me a strawberry iced coffee several hours ago. The fucker shows up now with half a finished diet soda! Do I kill him, yes or no?”

 Velvet was annoyed. “So that’s where my fucking diet soda went.”

 Valentino: “Oh my fucking god, he didn’t even buy it for me.”

 Vox: “I’ll send Vark the Shark to deliver your drink next time.”

  Valentino: “You just wanted to see me.”

    On August 7, 2020, Vox’s picture showed his TV screen cracked and one of his antennas crooked. Vox’s screen turned to colored bars and Valentino was grinning in the picture.

 Valentino: “Thanks for the soda, Voxy. Don’t fuck up my order next time.”

 Velvet sadly says: “My dads are fighting.”

 Valentino: “Don’t worry baby doll, not my fault, Vox is a dumbass.”

 Vox: “Velvet, you’re literally the same age as us, wtf?”

 Sir Pentious: “Ha ha ha, that’s hilariously evil, Valentino. Or may I call you Val, we should “hang” soon?”

 Stolas: “You can do better.”

 Vox: “Time to get a new screen. Ungrateful rat. #notmyboyfriend.”

 Valentino: “You woke me up. Sorry not sorry.”

 Stolas said to Vox: “I would say you could do better, but I’m not entirely sure you can.”

 Valentino: “Go fuck an imp.”

 Stolas: Gladly.

 Valentino: Sad.

 Stolas: What’s sad is traipsing around in a giant tacky coat trying too hard to be intimidating.

 Valentino: What’s sadder is watching you thirst over a tiny-dicked imp 24/7.

 Stolas: From what I’ve heard, he has a bigger dick than whatever you have between your legs.

 Valentino: From who? Lol. You obviously don’t have anyone, I don’t see nothing on your insta other than a thirsty dried old man.

 Stolas: …

 Stolas: You only like Vox because he can display glowing lamps on his screen, dirty moth.

 Velvet laughed out loud, this was the most fun she had in a while.

  On August 17 2020, Valentino posted another selfie.

 Valentino: “Got some business to take care of.”

 Stolas: I knew disco was dead, but I didn’t know it went to Hell.” Another successful roast.

 Velvet said: “Looking pretty dapper, Val. Don’t worry, I know Vox will see it!”

 Valentino said to Stolas, “Don’t hate me ‘cause you ain’t me, imp fucker.”

 Stolas replied, “Why would I want to be a rat?”

 Valentino: “Why are you so obsessed with me, baby cake? Want me to stop by? Help remove the stick from your ass.”

 Stolas: The stuck up my ass would be more pleasurable than anything you’ve got.

 Velvet was laughing so hard, tears came from her eyes.

 Valentino: Don’t knock it till you try it, baby. You know what they say about moths.

 Stolas: That they’re little pests obsessed with light bulbs? Owls eat insects, you know.

 Valentino: They can go all night.

 Stolas: Well owls eat rats. Wait this came out from the wrong particular situation…

 Valentino made an erotic face.

 Stolas: No.

 Sir Pentious to Valentino: “I own the same shirt, maybe we can do business and hang.”

[shadyb00ts]

How 2020 Turned Me Into A Swiftie Again

If you’d told me a few years ago that I’d have not one but two Taylor Swift albums in my year-end favorites list, I would’ve thought you were out of your mind. Then again, stranger things have happened in this hellscape of a year.

I’m really not sure where the first time I heard the phrase “Life is too short to pretend to hate Taylor Swift” was. I have no idea who originated it, but it stuck with me when I started to unpack that about a year ago, during her Lover era. By then, my perception and feelings about Taylor had been very... inconsistent, to say the least. I started out as a full-on stan, then it dwindled from there overtime until I basically became a hater, which then turned into indifference but silent respect. Now, I’m pretty much on the road to becoming a stan again. Revisiting her catalog, analyzing her lyrics, watching interviews, the works. 

I wanted to examine what it was that made my opinions about her go through so many steep rises and falls within this entire decade. Part of it was her shift in musical style that I didn’t quite mesh with, but another part was owning up to the internal biases I had when I was younger and how gullible I was in going along with whatever the media or the popular conscious was saying about her and the kind of person she is. 

I’m somebody who’s incapable of separating art from the artist. I simply don’t listen to artists when I don’t like them as people or don’t agree with their actions. Examples include but are not limited to Kim Petras, Melanie Martinez, Azealia Banks, Grimes, just to name a few. I have my own personal reasons for just not wanting to engage with any of their music, and if you still want to, that’s none of my business.

At some point in my life, I think Taylor got on that list. Looking back on it now, I find that completely ridiculous, because she never really did anything or acted in a way that warranted that reaction out of me. So I wanted to delve into how that even came about in the first place.

With that said, I want to take a trip down memory lane and go back through her eras, and go through the timeline of my strange relationship with Taylor Swift’s body of work as well as her public persona. Fair warning, it’s gonna be really cheesy and emotional at parts, but it is fully my truth. Thank you in advance if you manage to read the whole thing.

Part 1: The Country Era

It’s 2010 and I’m in eighth grade. I’m in an extremely Muslim country, the only son of an extremely Muslim family that enrolled me in an extremely Muslim school. I’m getting bullied by the boys in my class for being too feminine and being ignored by the girls for being a boy. The last close friend I had from elementary school had just moved away the year prior, and I’d never felt more alone in my life.

I was a closeted gay kid still trying to figure himself out and hating who he was. I escaped to cringey online chat sites like IMVU and catfished as a girl, because at the time I thought the only way to get boys to like me and want to be with me was to pretend to be someone else, someone I actually liked.

When I think back on this era, I mostly remember the girls in my class obsessing over these three albums and singing her songs with each other all the time. I desperately wanted to join them and fangirl with them over her music, though of course they never gave me the time of day. I remember I would memorize so many of her songs and write them all down on a special notebook I kept. When I wasn’t paying attention in classes, that’s what I would do; scribble out a collection of all the songs of hers that I knew by heart.

To me, these three albums represented a certain kind of vivid fantasy. Taylor’s songwriting has obviously grown exponentially over the past decade, but even back then she was always so damn good at storytelling and detail, painting you a very clear picture of a scene and placing you right there. For a miserable, self-hating fourteen-year-old gay boy that was always seeking escapism from a homophobic environment, this was the perfect outlet for me to live out a different kind of life, to play pretend.

I honestly can’t explain what it is about her style of songwriting but she always made me feel like I was genuinely experiencing everything she was talking about. Things like kissing in the rain, riding around in the truck of the boy of my dreams in a tiny one horse town, shedding teardrops on a guitar that I definitely didn’t own, experiencing crushing heartbreak. This was stuff that my sheltered ass couldn’t comprehend.

Taylor perfectly captured that ideal, that small town girl with big dreams and storybook romances. I was in love with her discography at the time, having memorized pretty much the entirety of Fearless because that was my favorite of three. Middle school was hell for me, but her music was definitely something that helped me pull through, because she sent my imagination into overdrive.

This was a time in my life where I didn’t really care yet about an artist’s public image or the media’s portrayal of them, It was purely about the music for me. Of course, when looking at these albums now, there were a few questionable choices she made lyrically, I have to admit. Particularly with songs like “Better Than Revenge” and “Innocent”, both having aged terribly with the former being bafflingly misogynistic and the latter being about Kanye. As of my writing this, Taylor is currently in the process of re-recording her old catalog, and I assume that she would skip these two songs in particular, as well as several others that haven’t exactly aged well.

This era really got me through some tough times and she provided much-needed relief for me within each of these three albums. I’ll always have an attachment to them because of the bittersweet memories they represent.

Part 2: Red

Red I decided to put in its own category, because this was kind of a weird era for Taylor. Even back when I was an ignorant teenager that barely had any critical thinking skills, I felt the dissonance of this album and its Max Martin produced singles. This album represented Taylor dipping her toe into pop music, which she made abundantly clear when she decided to release We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together as the lead single.

I actually remember this moment quite clearly. She premiered the single at some kind of fan event that I believe was streamed live on YouTube, and either I watched it live or I watched the full recording of it later on. At the time I remember feeling it was kind of bizarre to hear Taylor adopt this style of music, because it was so drastically different from her previous work and it took me a while to adjust. Obviously I enjoyed pop music at the time as much as I do now, but I just hadn’t been expecting it to come from Taylor. 

Fortunately it was just the three singles that were full pop, and the rest of the album still had her signature DNA and also includes some of her best work. All Too Well, for example, is I think one of the best songs she’s ever made, if not the best. I think if I were introducing Taylor to someone that’s totally unfamiliar with her, that would be my first choice, because it’s a masterwork in songwriting and emotionality.

I do think the thing that irked me the most about this album and era, even to this day, was the lack of cohesion. Of course I figured that she would eventually venture into pop music, but the way in which she did it just felt a bit too jarring to me. Perhaps if the album had a more even distribution of pop songs and country songs, it would’ve been slightly more palatable for me. It’s not even that the three pop songs were bad; they were quite good for their time. Though to be completely honest they’re the songs I barely ever return to any time I listen to Red now. They’re the kind of catchy pop songs where it’s difficult not to get sick of them at a certain point in your life. I’ve grown to really dislike the lead single, and even 22.

Her image was also starting to get much more scrutinized by the media around this time. I think this era probably marked the sharp rise of the “Taylor Swift has too many boyfriends!” argument people loved to throw around. I wish I could say I was smart enough to not buy into that shit at the time, but I wasn’t. While it didn’t bother me, it was something that I wondered about, why she dated and broke up with so many guys at such a young age. It was something that I judged her for. Obviously I didn’t yet understand that it was normal for people her age to date around. Plus it gave her some great material.

By this time, Taylor was making the gradual transition of country sweetheart to pop star, and while Red was kind of a rocky start to that, naturally she managed to pull it off. But not quite flawlessly.

Part 3: The Pop Era

Okay, I have a lot to say about these girls.

I think this era started off strong with 1989. It was a more fully realized version of Taylor’s little pop experiment, and it actually had the cohesion that I needed to be able to fully adapt to this new style she’d cultivated. She wrote yet another one of her best songs with Blank Space, which I like to think was a precursor to Reputation (and dare I say that one song did Reputation’s concept better than that album as a whole?).

However... Shake It Off. I’m sorry, I just hate that song.

WANEGBT, the first single off of Red, isn’t exactly the best song either but it made sense as to why she chose that as the first single. It was to signify her dabbling into pop. Reputation’s first single I also am not the biggest fan of, but again, made perfect sense as an introduction, but I’ll get to that later. Shake It Off, though? For the life of me, I have no idea why this song was the first single. Or to be frank, why it was even on the album at all. 

I’m sorry y’all, I just hate it. Everything about it. The verses, the chorus, the appalling rap bridge. She should’ve kept that song in the drafts and released Blank Space as a first single, and that’s a hill I’m willing to die on. Sorry Shake It Off stans, but I’m sure all three of you will get over it. ❤

That said, 1989 had some excellent songs, and I was finally starting to get used to Taylor doing pop. However, my excitement and enthusiasm for her music started to falter due to my weak mind at the time once again getting swayed by the media. 

This time, I began to see Taylor as someone that seemed to be very calculated and conniving in the way she curated her image. Something that didn’t sit well with me was the “girl squad” stuff, and how all of the women she surrounded herself with were essentially these supermodels with unattainable beauty standards, and also believing the rumors about how certain famous women were given private requests to join Taylor’s “squad”. And then of course, the Kim and Kanye thing happened. #TaylorSwiftIsOverParty trended worldwide, and that was probably my earliest exposure to an instance of a celebrity getting canceled, so I was just happy to join the bandwagon. My opinion of her shifted like that, and it’s crazy to think about it now, how I barely had the capacity to form my own opinions and was easily influenced by everything I heard.

Despite me kind of joining the Taylor hate train, I did like Reputation as a concept. I liked how she disappeared from the public eye and came back being like, “You want me to be the villain? The snake? Fine.” Look What You Made Me Do, as I mentioned before, was the perfect choice for the first single despite the song itself being sonically....not the best. The music video and the line about how the old Taylor couldn’t come to the phone was an iconic moment in pop culture, I have to admit that.

I didn’t listen to the album as a whole until later, though. I was having my own hang-ups about Taylor that I think are silly now, but at the time when I didn’t like an artist I would mostly avoid their work. When I did listen to the album, though, I thought it was... okay. There’s one standout track to me and that is Getaway Car, and it’s the only song from Reputation I can say I fully adore to pieces. The other songs on there I either just like, or I find to be meh at best. (Also I know Ready For It is objectively a bad song but I really enjoy the chorus, don’t @ me, @ god)

A few years later, Lover happened and.... Once again, horrible first single. ME! is a genuinely atrocious song, and I have no idea how esteemed, prolific songwriter Taylor Swift managed to reach a point where she had a song with the phrase “spelling is fun!” in it. I feel the exact same way about this song as I do about Shake It Off. It had no business being in the album whatsoever.

As far as Lover the album goes, this came out around the time where I was kind of feeling indifferent toward Taylor (which is hilarious if you know what the first track on it is). I was much more politically aware and had learned not to put too much faith in white women, and I was focusing on other artists so much that Lover barely even came onto my radar. I listened to it once, thought it was meh, and moved on. I revisited it earlier this year and realized I was a bit too harsh on it the first time around. Sure it was her weakest album overall, but it wasn’t bad by any means. It was perfectly alright, and there were songwriting moments within it that were still quite strong. The title track and also Miss Americana comes to mind as standouts.

She started to become more vocal politically around this time. A lot of people thought it was too little too late, which was a fair point. However to me it made sense that she stayed tight-lipped about politics when she was younger, considering she was operating within the realm of country music. Plus, upon watching her documentary, it was pretty clear she had old white men behind the scenes telling her what she should or shouldn’t say, to make sure she maintained that all-American country girl sweetheart image. Still, I do agree with the people who thought that she should’ve used her platform sooner.

Oh and for the record, I think You Need to Calm Down is a terrible song. The video was cute, and the message behind it is fine, but I just hate it sonically.

At this point my interest in Taylor was probably at an all time low. The era started off strong with 1989, but it progressively got weaker. She just wasn’t really giving me much in terms of lyricism, and her pop productions were starting to blend together to the point where a lot of them were sounding very same-y. Lover to me marked the point of stagnation in her music; it was solid enough, but it just wasn’t going anywhere. We’ve seen Pop Taylor, she was cute for a while, but what else? Where does she go from here?

Well... She went into the woods.

Part 4: The Cottagecore Sisters

When I heard about Taylor dropping a surprise album, I suppose I was intrigued. She is one of the few artists that are successful enough to be able to make a move like that and cause a lot of buzz and excitement. I didn’t think much about it though, because my 2020 at that time was still inundated with SAWAYAMA and Ungodly Hour on repeat. On a whim, though, I decided to listen to it one day, not expecting much out of it.

Earlier when I was talking about her country era, I mentioned that Taylor’s storytelling and her penchant for detailed descriptions were my favorite parts of her writing. Her innate ability to transport me into other worlds, to provide escapism when my life became too much to deal with. I feel like these aspects were missing in the several years that Taylor focused on pop music. There were flashes of it in some of her later work, sure, but very few. She was becoming a huge mega superstar and her songs started to lose that sense of relatability that had been easy for me to latch on too. These things definitely contributed to my loss of interest for her work in general.

And then Folklore managed to bring me back to that place of fantasy I described before, but heightened. Elevated. Evolved. This is why I think that Folklore is Taylor Swift’s magnum opus.

Storytelling is without a doubt her strongest skill as an artist. To be able to construct not just a narrative but an entire world through songs is not something anyone can pull off. Throughout her pop era, there was always that something missing because I knew that she was capable of more. I couldn’t explain it well back then, but despite her penmanship still being commendable during those years, it still felt oddly lackluster. I knew she could do better, but I didn’t have the proof yet.

This is it. Both Folklore and Evermore showcase exactly what I knew she was capable of. This is Taylor Swift at her most creative, at her full power.

I think in a recent interview I watched (though I can’t remember which one), even she herself acknowledged how it would’ve been a disservice to continue strictly writing autobiographical songs, and so she decided to write from the perspectives of multiple different characters while also occasionally inserting herself and her life experiences into these narratives. She essentially created her own folklore and managed to make me invested in characters that don’t even exist.

I have to talk about the love triangle trilogy: cardigan, august and betty. It’s a testament to her songwriting ability that these fictional characters feel like real people. The story of Betty, James and Augusta/Augustine is just so well done to the point where I forget that it’s Taylor Swift singing. When I listen to these songs, I am fully imagining the characters she conjured up. 

The song that I find the most profound out of the three, and also happens to be my favorite song on the album, is august. To me, it is the most heartbreaking song out of all of them. I relate so much to that girl who’s hopelessly in love with someone that just doesn’t give a shit about them and is merely using her for a summer fling. And it’s not even like I’ve experienced something similar to this in real life, Taylor just somehow made it relatable with the sheer power of her pen game. It’s even more heartbreaking considering we don’t know what happened to this girl, if she ever managed to find happiness, because in the Long Pond Sessions Taylor mentioned that Betty and James eventually got back together. They got their happy ending, but what happened to Augustine?

I can’t believe she’s got me this deep in my feelings over non-existent teenagers, I swear to god.

Just when I thought Folklore was going to be the end of this new side of her for a while, she releases Evermore in December, its sister album. While I don’t think it’s quite as strong as Folklore, it still delivered immensely in terms of lyricism, productions and vocals. Evermore’s release pretty much solidified the realization that I was basically becoming a Swiftie again, a whole decade later.

I was embarrassed by that thought at first, but honestly now I’m at a point where I don’t think there’s anything to be embarrassed about. Taylor is too skilled of a songwriter for me to consider her a guilty pleasure. I just needed something to help me come to that conclusion, and these two albums did just that. She finally gave to me what I was waiting for.

Final Thoughts

I don’t really stan artists the same way I used to now, which I mentioned previously in my review of Chromatica. I don’t deify them or hold them to an impossible moral standard they could never live up to anymore. I see them as flawed human beings that have the capacity to make great art. So when I say I’m becoming a Swiftie, I’m still fully aware that Taylor Swift is a thirty-one year old rich white woman who is bound to have shortcomings and missteps as a person. In my mind, she hasn’t done anything drastic enough or stupid enough for me to become uncomfortable in listening to her work. I had my own ideas about how she could’ve been fake, conniving, manipulative or whatever else the media was trying to convey about her, but there really is no way of knowing who she truly is as a person.

Celebrities and influencers have the power to curate their image however they want. The relationships they have with us, the audience, are entirely parasocial, so of course we base our judgments of them based on very limited knowledge, or just the surface-level view of what they’re like. I don’t know if Taylor is as down to earth and genuine as she appears to be now, and I honestly don’t need to know. If she does things I disagree with or acts a certain way that deserves criticism, of course I’d still call her out, and depending on the severity of what it was she said or did, it might end up with me not wanting to engage with her work anymore.

But the reality is, as a person, I’ve realized that she is just fine. I was holding on to a certain idea of her in my head where I think at one point I dubbed her “the Anne Hathaway of music”, meaning someone that comes across too perfect to the point where it seems calculated and disingenuous. But honestly, I just don’t feel that way about her anymore. I don’t feel particularly attached to her as a person, either. 

But I do feel an attachment to her music. At the end of the day, that’s where I’m standing now when it comes to her. I don’t have any expectations or delusions about her as a human being, and I’m not going to remain devoted to her if she does something dumb, but I believe that she is an insanely gifted artist who has written so many songs that genuinely speak to me and make me feel intensely. She lost me for a while, but now I’m right back in it.

So yeah, like I said in the beginning of the post, life’s too short to pretend to hate Taylor Swift. I’d rather just pretend to live in a mystical small town as a sad gay witch. And I’m at peace with that.

[knoxhq]

► ( rudy pankow & cis male ) according to the school’s records, knox drury is a 22-YEAR-OLD senior studying political science, and he lives over in moriarty. he is a gemini, so that must be why others describe him as dignified, humorous, cowardly and naive. when i see him, i’m reminded of walking into class an hour late with sunglasses on, the feeling of anticipation as you wait for a firework to fully blossom, the sound of party music leaking through the walls of a bathroom. ( gibby, 20, they/them, est. ) ◄

hello everyone !! so i won’t even lie to u guys, i am NERVOUS and it’s literally only bc this is the first group i’ve joined in so long like dfdhkjsfjad the last group i was in was almost a year ago but i ended up having to leave due to personal reasons and didn’t get to write so like !!! idk i’m excited !! anyways w that in mind, pls bARE with me bc i have like one (1) braincell and i forgot how to write intros. anyways enough of me rambling, lemme give you knox !!

also this is a bad intro pls dont judge me im trying 2 like. rewrite what i had b4 the storm took it out n like, i lost the braincell

basics. 

full name: knox hale drury.

nicknames: drury.

age: twenty two.

gender and pronouns: cis male and he/him

sexual & romantic orientations: bisexual, biromantic, femme leaning.

major: political science.

housing: moriarty.

backstory.

triggers: implied bullying, police and incarceration ( dw i didn’t make him jj 2.0 ).

nobody gets to pick their beginnings. it’s something that people tell knox all the time, hell, it’s plastered in every stupid coming of age movie, book, film, everything he’s ever seen. you don’t pick who your born into, you don’t pick who you get to be. and to an extent, he does think that this is true but he can’t help but wonder if maybe, if people could pick, if they’d pick differently. because he knows he certainly would pick differently.

it’s not that he even came from a bad home - hell no, he had the most loving family ever. his mother was a saint, a warm sensation bubbling up in his chest when he thinks about her warm cookies or the way she tried to still tuck him in even as a teenager. his father had his flaws, we all do, but he was a good and honest man. hardworking, he showed knox what that stupid american dream is that everyone likes to preach about. 

no, it had nothing to do with them but rather the overall opinion on him and his family. see, the drury’s weren’t well liked - they were seen as lowlives and as shady, the kind of people who you’d only go to if you wanted to get stabbed in the back. generations of drury’s fit this narrative but no, his father was determined to change that. and so was he, even if nobody around him seemed to want to give him a chance. 

knox would go throughout school with this name attached to him like a dagger to his throat - whisperings in the hallway of, “oh, my mom said the drury boy might be steal things if you let him over,” and other random, rude remarks. of course, the people that get close to him know better - they see him for who he really is.

that person is knox. he’s a golden light, often more selfless than the rich pricks who run that small town. he’d give his jacket or umbrella to people even if they didn’t ask if it just so happened to be raining outside, and despite the fact that his family didn’t have a lot, he’d still go out of his way to try to give when he could. 

he eventually graduated high school - one of the top people in his class due to his father’s encouragement, and after a lot of debate, settled on attending haddon university - miles away from that sweet, small little hometown he knew, but a fresh start where he didn’t have to work for anything. he could just go in being him, with nobody attaching a new narrative to him. it was what he wanted, what he dreamed of.

and he loved it. his first semester there was memorable as he found himself surrounded by new friends and people he even considered family. back home, however, things were slipping.

the drury family was never rich, ever by any means, but business was low. nobody wanted to go there, fearing that his father was just as shady as his grandfather. as things got worse, his father had to resort to other needs - stealing, lying about taxes, and doing everything he could to try to make it by. 

it finally caught up to him when knox came home for spring break - red and blue lights flashing outside as loud noises went on throughout the house, until finally someone swung knox’s door open and briefly blinded him with a flashlight, demanding to know where his father was. by the time knox got a grasp on the situation, his father was being rushed off in the back of a cop car. 

he plead guilty almost immediately and for the next few months, knox did school from home to stay with his mother. it was then that he switched his major from what had initially been just a vague, business degree to political science in hopes of going into law after getting that degree - a way of changing things, of helping people so they never got to that point. 

for now though, he’s gone back to haddon’s campus where he study’s away and occasionally finds himself slipping and partying, glasses always covering his eyes as he slinks back class, getting almost nO sleep every night.

study.

so i need u to know right now... knox is baby, FDSHJDFSHAJK

like he’s not by any means like he’s kinda a gross dude like, absolutely randomly burps n is like lol oops n shit, very little manners, will grab clothes off of the floor to put them on kind of man BUT LIKE as a whole ?? he means very well FDSJFAHJ he’s very gentle and will sit there and admire flowers on a bush and then get mad if u pick one bc ur hurting it like. he’s baby.

he also is very loyal to the ppl he’s friends w tbh like. damn he will never leave ur side

that also makes him kinda... super, actually, naive. you see, while knox is incredibly loyal, he often finds himself ignoring signs of toxicity for the sake of preserving a friendship - he fights for people who won’t fight for him, he lets people back in too easily, he just. he sees the good in everyone, even if there isn’t any good.

regardless, he’s not easy to just... manipulate to an extent. while he’ll fall for you being innocent, you can’t ever try to make him think he’s something he’s not - he knows his intentions and he knows they’re usually pure and he’s not gonna fold for anyone if it comes down to him or them. 

bt like again he’s baby

like i dont think he ever gets mad but damn when he does its probs scary as shit like bc he nEVER gets mad !!! hes like. a golden retriever ig

if u cannot tell im trying really hard not to make him too much like jj bc i realize that might be a big thing ppl do n i dont think jj is baby bt like. knox? knox is baby DSFHJKFDHKJ 

he’s just. idk. he’s very protective and cares about his friends a lot and will walk you home even if you went to HIS place and like is always ready to give you a jacket if it’s raining and he’s just lowkey a big, kinda dumb at times, teddy bear and i think that’s valid tyvm 

wanted connections.

friends. — please. knox will lOVE ur muses just let him be their friend tyvm plus he’s a bit of a social butterfly now and i think he’d honestly have a lot of friends.

best friend. — i’m gonna keep this to one muse bc idk i think it’d be really cute if knox got to have his own like, ride or die where they care abt him as much as he cares about them and they’re always there for each other and like !!! that’s cute !!! also found family trope bc i think that is.. again, kyoot, ty

frienemies. — so these are always like, super fun to plot out and i think there’s a lot to work w here... like give me ppl who are happy that knox is loyal and would defend them but would push knox to the side n not do the same for him... also friendships where knox fucked up ?? where knox, despite his goodness, couldn’t keep his mouth shut and revealed a secret to their friend group bc u see he can kinda be a gossip fsjfdaskj. idk there’s a lot u can do n i’d love to brainstorm!

enemies. — pls. like. we can brainstorm this too so i dont just ramble but pLEASE?? please.

flings. — honestly romantic ships are not the point of rps but romantic flings and stuff can be really fun to plot and i love getting soft about them so like ?? idk dude lets fling it up n have muses date for two weeks n then break up like thats swexi, dramatic, 10/10

exes. — i mean this is kind of like flings but i have an idea... give me an ex of knox’s who really was like. everything knox wanted. hell, the two had a really good relationship - they were in love and etc etc gushy details but they ended up breaking up bc they just. they weren’t meant to be! as sad as it is like it was as simple as that! and then the angst comes in after they break up bc god they still love each other so much but they just aren’t meant to be and they see them with other people and oh it just hurts but like, bonus points if they manage to become good friends even after this !! (sidenote, idk i wouldn’t want this to be a full ship tht gets back together bc idk i think there’s a bittersweetness in stuff like this n its just. like. its ok !!! idk !!! )

roommates. — and they were roomates- fdshjkfdsahjk

other things. — honestly these are half assed plots but i’m down for anything !!! i’m still fleshing out knox a lil too bc i really did make him on the spot so pls bare w me :)

[onestowatch]

Raissa Is the DIY Artist With Dreams of Doing it All [Q&A]

They say if you want something done right, do it yourself. Raissa has taken this idea and run with it. 

The 22-year-old is taking the music world by storm with her unabashed lyricism and unique creative direction. She proudly writes and produces all of her music, along with directing her music videos. In a landscape that can feel increasingly oversaturated, Raissa arrives like a breath of fresh air.

Raissa’s music is perfect for when you are deep in your feels but cannot quite put your emotions into words. She wears her heart on her sleeve and doesn’t shy away from being vulnerable in her songwriting. She is unapologetically herself and willing to bare it all in her lyricism. Whether it’s her self-love anthem “Angel Energy” or her untraditional love song “Bullying Boys,” Raissa is able to perfectly balance R&B musical elements with her soft and delicate vocals.

We caught up with Raissa to chat about finding inspiration in Lady Gaga’s theatrical stage presence and Joni Mitchell’s lyricism, staying wholly true to your vision, and the honesty found in writing and producing all her music. 

Ones to Watch: What inspired you to start making music?

I come from a family of people who, even though they don’t work in music, have always been really big supporters of the arts, so I always grew up around a lot of music. Like when a David Bowie album would come out, we would go and buy it, like my parents have always been big lovers of music. It was very natural for me to start writing music at a really young age. I always felt like I was meant to be an entertainer and music was the one thing that felt easiest to make on my own time. It wasn’t a conscious decision to do it, it just kind of happened.

You mentioned David Bowie, what other artists influenced your musical style?

Prince and Bowie are definitely two huge inspirations. I’ve always been attracted to artists that are very theatrical and are playing a character. There’s a huge juxtaposition of the vulnerability in the music that they write and the theatre in how it’s presented like when you see them in concert or in a music video. Lady Gaga is another artist. I’m a massive fan. She made me feel like, from a young age, that there was room for me creatively to make music, especially as a girl. My songwriting background is more influenced by folk and singer-songwriter music like Leonard Cohen and Joni Mitchell. They made me want to write songs and see the importance of lyrics.

Of all the different places that you grew up, what made you settle down in London?

I came here for school. I got into a good school here, so I decided to go, it wasn’t so much that I really wanted to come to London. I was also looking at schools in the US, but your tuition is just a bit out of control (laughs). I grew up in Kuala Lumpur and I knew that I really wanted to leave, it didn’t really matter where I went.

You’ve gained quite the following in a very short period of time. Do you feel more pressure when you’re making music knowing so many people are listening now?

I actually feel less pressure. All I can really do is make people pay attention and be honest in my music. I feel like my fanbase is young, they’re really excited, and they have a real respect and love for artists. They come from such a place of love and excitement that it pushes me to do better and makes me really happy to be doing what I’m doing.

It’s so cool to see so many artists blow up purely because their fans love and support them. What specifically do you think is drawing people to your music?

I hear from a lot of people that my music makes them feel really empowered to be sensitive and vulnerable, which is always exactly what I’ve wanted to do with my work. There’s a strength in not always being strong and in being kind and hopeful and loving. I’m also just 1000% myself in everything that I do, and people really respond when they can tell an artist cares about their work. And nothing I ever do is cynical – that’s a really important rule for me. And I think that’s probably attractive for young people, too. Like they don’t have to feel silly for liking certain things.

Yeah it sometimes feels like there’s growing pressure to not get excited about things.

1000%. Like something’s either not intellectual enough or too ditzy or too pop or not pop enough. And it’s just like, yo, we are just here to have a good time (laughs).

So, I know you touched on it earlier, but can you take us through your creative process? What does making a song look like?

It really depends. I’ll be on the bus or in a car, and I’ll write a verse or chorus, or sometimes an entire song before I really know what the song sounds like. And then I’ll get into the studio and get on keys or on guitar and figure out the melody and work around that. I like to start with guitar or keys and then build the production around it later. And I like working in small spaces, usually just me and one of the producers that I’ve worked with a lot.

Would you be open to working with other writers and producers in the future?

I’m not opposed to anything. I just finished up my EP and am about halfway through my album, and there have been no writers involved whatsoever except for myself. I’m super attached to my songwriting and can’t see myself ever singing someone else’s words. My music is like me standing up in front of people and just talking to them, and if someone else wrote what I’m saying, am I really the one talking to the crowd or is it someone else?

And the lyrics are why people connect to your music so much.

Yeah, I’ve seen so many people posting my lyrics or quoting songs in their Instagram captions. People get really attached to the images that I’ve written, which is such a great reaction. There was one girl who posted a video of herself dancing to “Bullying Boys” and I called my manager like screaming because you could tell she was just so excited and happy, and I know exactly how that feels. I used to be that girl dancing in front of my mirror.

What was directing your music videos like?

My manager called me and asked if I would be able to make a video for my song. I’ve always loved drawing and painting and learned how to use different creative software pretty quickly. I knew I wanted to condense a bunch of visual images I loved so I just figured out how to make that happen. I ordered a green screen on Amazon, taped it to the wall, and shot myself against it. It all felt very natural. I did my own makeup, picked out my own outfits, and made my own gloves. It was super fun! It’s made explaining my creative ideas to people much easier, too. If I’m ever in a creative meeting, I can show everyone exactly what I want and make mock-ups myself.

That’s so empowering too. You can do it yourself and get the exact vision you want. 

Yes, for sure. There’s so much value in your point of view and not compromising on it. I think its way more powerful to do a lower-quality project that’s completely true to your perspective than making something super high resolution that has no soul to it.

So, what can we expect from you for the rest of 2020?

An EP and an album! They’re one big story that fit together like two pieces of a puzzle. The EP is coming next month and titled Hero Girl. Every song will have its own piece of visual content. I honestly think it’s the best work that I’ve made to date. Not that there’s a ton to compare it to yet (laughs). And a merch drop along with the EP! I’m working on the design of it right now.

Final question, who are your Ones To Watch?

Mia Gladstone, Brevin Kim, and myself, why not! (laughs)

[riotneko]

Get to know me!

Idk if this is supposed to be through reblogs/notes or whatever so ill just answer them right now. Deleted some that I don't know that's why the numbers are weird.

Feel free to rb with copy/pasted questions and ur own answers :)

1. What is you middle name? Don't have one.

2. How old are you? 17.

3. When is your birthday? December 31st.

4. What is your zodiac sign? Capricorn.

5. What is your favorite color? Green, purple/pink. Closely followed by red and blue.

7. Do you have any pets? 2 cats and 1 dog

8. Where are you from? Zurich, Switzerland

9. How tall are you? 5'6 or barely 5'7

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? 4

15. Favorite song? Midnight City by m83, lila wolken by material lovers who uncover/ not in love by crystal castles are some of them.

16. Favorite movie? Zootopia and judge dredd

17: Sexuality and gender? Bi and cis boy.

18. Do you want children? Maybe. Depends on how my mental health develops.

20. Are you religious? Nope.

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? Nah.

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? I don't think I could handle the huge attention and expectations of being perfect all the time.

28. What type of music do you like? I really like experimental music, rap, witch house, rock, indie pop, stuff like PC music. All kinds of stuff.

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? Two.

34. Have you ever fired a gun? Yeah and it was fun.

35. Have you ever tried archery? Yes. Was fun as well.

36. Favorite clean word? Too many to choose from.

37. Favorite swear word? Probably cvnt because of how raw it sounds in both English and German.

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? Two or three days. Was a mistake lol.

39. Do you have any scars? On my lip from slipping on a big rock as a kid.

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? Yeah it was actually was a girl that unironically bullied me. Either due to peer pressure or to get my attention. Either way I wanted nothing to do with her after what she and the others put me through.

41. Are you a good liar? I guess I could be.

42. Are you a good judge of character? Usually.

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? Yeah but not that believable.

44. Do you have a strong accent? Nope I don't think so. Especially when speaking English compared to other people whose first language is German/ swiss German.

46. What is your personality type? Shy but not a pushover, rather feminine I guess, sarcastic smartass.

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? A jacket that was like 150-300 bucks

51. Are you scared of spiders? No they are cute uwu

52. Favorite food? Kfc, kebab or ramen.

58. Do you have much of an ego? Sometimes.

60. Do you talk to yourself? When I need to think really hard. Idk why but it makes it easier.

61. Do you sing to yourself? No.

62. Are you a good singer? Bigger no.

63. Biggest Fear? Used to be school.

66. Do you like long or short hair? I have had long hair since I was like 10.

68. Favorite school subject? English or art history

69. Extrovert or Introvert? Introvert.

71. What makes you nervous? A lot of things. Seeing people I used to go to school with? Even if we used to be friends and they are always nice to me idk why. Also I have anxiety so yeah there's that. Oh and I guess also being near places that I have terrible experiences with. Like the before mentioned school even though I don't have to interact with it.

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? Depending on context.

74. Are you ticklish? Yes, extremely. I was always (still am but not as often) the main tickle target in my friend group/ family. If there was a chance to pin me down and tickle the crap out of me with no mercy they took it. Often to also verbally taunt/ tease me about the situation I'm in or to get me to say embarrassing stuff. My mom saw me being tickled by friends once and even cheered them on, gave em tips and thought it was funny. ”take his socks off and really get his bare feet and he'll talk in no time! That's the best method of tickling him.". It was all in good fun tho I'm not angry or anything. Also at Family gatherings I'm usually still guaranteed to get tickled helplessly like that at least once tho & this Christmas is another one... At least I'll get to laugh?

75. Have you ever started a rumor? I don't think so

77. Have you ever drank underage? A few sips. But here most alcohol is ok if you are 16 and some like vodka is 18+

79. Who was your first real crush? A girl that stood up for me when I got picked on when I was 9 or 10 lol

80. How many piercings do you have? None

82. How fast can you type? Gay speed

83. How fast can you run? Sonic wants what I can

84. What color is your hair? Natural is dark brown but I've had it dark red (red red not orange red), orange/brown and currently black.

85. What color is your eyes? Dark Brown.

88. What do your parents do? Mom works with kids and my dad did some shady military/ government stuff that he never specified. Not sure what he does now.

89. Do you like your age? Yeah.

90. What makes you angry? Bullying/injustice and old people starting at me on the bus.

91. Do you like your own name? It's Ali and yes but people sometimes don't believe me because I don't look Arabic at all.

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? Both would be ok.

94. What are you strengths? Strong sense of justice, loves to help people, creativity are some.

95. What are your weaknesses? I overthink a lot of stuff and am bad at dealing with trauma/ letting go of the past.

96. How did you get your name? My parents picked it or something idk

97. Do you collect something? I like creepy and cute stuff. Cute stuff is easier to find here and so far I guess I have a small hello kitty collection. 5 plushies, few patches, ice cream machine, shirt, figure, keychain. It's not even because I specifically collect hello kitty it's just that I find her so cute that if she's on it chances are ill like it enough to buy it.

100. Color of your room? I'll make it green. Not a very strong shade though.

[freespiritdani]

Okay, @freespiritdani, I wanna see how brave you are... The ASK ME STUFF list. All of them except the first one and the last one. Love ya lots, Mom.

Braver than you think, dear daughter! 

You should know be better than that, you’ve known me all your life....

Here goes:

2: Age -39

3: 3 Fears - flying, heights, snakes

4: 3 things I love - motorcycles, horses, being and living in the country

5: 4 turns on - intelligence, smile, heart, laughter

6: 4 turns off - body hair not on the scalp, bad hygiene, the male of the species, arrogance

7: My best friend - @cherokeesapphicangel 

8: Sexual orientation - lesbian and proud of it

9: My best first date - November 7, 2005, with the woman who would eventually become my world and my wife

10: How tall am I - 5′4″

11: What do I miss - things I’m no longer allowed to do post-heart attack

12: What time were I born - 6:12 AM

13: Favourite color - bright red

14: Do I have a crush - does my wife count?

15: Favourite quote - “Love is too beautiful to be hidden in a closet.”

16: Favourite place - at home, on the sofa, curled up next to my precious Angel

17: Favourite food - sushi

18: Do I use sarcasm - Now whatever gave you that idea? (in other words, yes)

19: What am I listening to right now - my precious Angel’s heartbeat

20: First thing I notice in new person - body language

21: Shoe size - 7

22: Eye color - chocolate brown

23: Hair color - black, no dyes.

24: Favourite style of clothing - “provocative”

25: Ever done a prank call? - yes

(where, perchance, is #26? LOL)S

27: Meaning behind my URL - I’m a free spirit.

28: Favourite movie - Hoodwinked!

29: Favourite song - “Niki Nana (We Are One)”, Yanni

30: Favourite band - don’t really have one

31: How I feel right now - very happy and content

32: Someone I love - my precious Angel (my wife)

33: My current relationship status - happily married

34: My relationship with my parents - they’re deceased (Mom in 2001, Dad in 2019)

35: Favourite holiday - Halloween

36: Tattoos and piercing i have - yes, classified (intimate)

37: Tattoos and piercing i want - Also classified (same reason)

38: The reason I joined Tumblr - Choices fandom

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? - you could say that....

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? - from my daughters

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? - How the hell do I know? I have no clue who you last texted!

42: When did I last hold hands? - right now

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? - anywhere from 2 minutes to an hour

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? - uh, yeah!

45: Where am I right now? - lying in bed with my wife, all cuddled up

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? - the mortician

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? - yes

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? - I’m alive and they’re not, so I’m going with “no”

49: Am I excited for anything? - Yes

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? - Yes. My brother.

51: How often do I wear a fake smile? Whenever I meet an asshole that’s going out of his/her way to be annoying

52: When was the last time I hugged someone? - a few minutes ago.

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? - Not gonna happen

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? - yes

55: What is something I disliked about today? - went by too quickly

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Oh dear god, that list is too long to whittle it down to just one LOL

57: What do I think about most? - a toss up between cooking for my wife and sex with my wife

58: What’s my strangest talent? - strange to whom?

59: Do I have any strange phobias? - I repeat, strange to whom?

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? - Behind, if a camera must be involved at all.

61: What was the last lie I told? - that I had totally given up drinking about 8 months before I really did

62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online? - neither

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Yes and Yes

64: Do I believe in magic? - Yes

65: Do I believe in luck? - Yes

66: What’s the weather like right now? - cold

67: What was the last book I’ve read? - Cover to cover? The Rite by Jennifer Bene

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? No

69: Do I have any nicknames? - Yes, many, most of them not polite.

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? - Numerous in a car accident in 2018, most serious of which was a punctured lung

71: Do I spend money or save it? Spend. That’s why Angel is in charge of the money LOL

72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge? Whose tongue? With my own tongue, no.

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me? *devilish grin* Yes there is....

74: Favourite animal? - Eagle

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? - cumming

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? - Artrip

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? - “Show Me How You Burlesque”, Christina Aguilera

78: How can you win my heart? - (my wife already did LOL), show me you care about me.

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? - “Here lies a girl whose only crutch/Was loving one woman just a little too much”

80: What is my favorite word? - kitten

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr - not without their permission

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? - “If your religion causes you to be a bigot, something is wrong with your religion”

83: Do I have any relatives in jail? - No

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? - healing

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? - If something happened to your wife and she died, how well would you take it?”

86: What is my current desktop picture? - See picture above question 2

87: Had sex? - Yes, as often as possible

88: Bought condoms? - no

89: Gotten pregnant? -Yes

90: Failed a class?- No

91: Kissed a boy? - Yes, unfortunately. 

92: Kissed a girl? - Yes, and I liked it

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? - Yes

94: Had job? - Still have job

95: Left the house without my wallet? - Yes

96: Bullied someone on the internet? - Not that I’m aware of

97: Had sex in public? - Yes, more than once

98: Played on a sports team? - Yes

99: Smoked weed? - Yes

100: Did drugs? - Yes

101: Smoked cigarettes? - Yes

102: Drank alcohol? - Yes

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? - HELL no

104: Been overweight? No

105: Been underweight? No

106: Been to a wedding? Yes

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? Yes

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? Yes

109: Been outside my home country? Yes

110: Gotten my heart broken? Yes

111: Been to a professional sports game? Yes

112: Broken a bone? Yes

113: Cut myself? Intentionally, no. Accidentally, yes

114: Been to prom? Yes

115: Been in airplane? Yes, once, when I was 8 years old. Had to be sedated because I panicked big time

116: Fly by helicopter? If being life flighted from an accident scene to the nearest hospital counts, then yes.

117: What concerts have I been to? Yanni, Christina Aguilera, Melissa Etheridge

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? DUH, I’m lesbian! My crushes by definition are Lesbian

119: Learned another language? Yes

120: Wore make up? Yes

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? Yes

122: Had oral sex? Yes

123: Dyed my hair? No

124: Voted in a presidential election? Yes

125: Rode in an ambulance? Yes

126: Had a surgery? Yes

127: Met someone famous? Yes

128: Stalked someone on a social network? No

129: Peed outside? Yes

130: Been fishing? Yes

131: Helped with charity? Yes

132: Been rejected by a crush? Yes

133: Broken a mirror? Yes

134: What do I want for birthday? To be with family, especially my wife

135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? Already have them, Marti and Staci

136: Was I named after anyone? First name, no. Middle name, my maternal grandmother

137: Do I like my handwriting? no

138: What was my favourite toy as a child? my teddy bear

139: Favourite Tv Show? Mythbusters (off the air now)

140: Where do I want to live when older? Where I live now

141: Play any musical instrument? Piano, violin, harp, didgeridoo

142: One of my scars, how did I get it? Heart surgery

143: Favourite pizza toping? Pineapple (sue me)

144: Am I afraid of the dark? No

145: Am I afraid of heights? Deathly afraid

146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? Yes to both

147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? Yes

148: What I’m really bad at - Taking credit for anything

149: What my greatest achievments are - raising 2 amazing daughters

150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me - “The only thing you’ll ever amount to is being a pretty cum dumpster”

151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery - retire

152: What do I like about myself - my body

153: My closest Tumblr friend - my sister

154: Something I fantasise about - not being so short

[motherfucker-somewhat-limited]

1: Name

Sarah

2: Age

23

3: Fears

Everything, I have anxiety

4: 3 things I love

Dogs, weird movies, sunsets over water

5: 4 turns on

Long hair, facial piercings, good sense of humor, back muscles

6: 4 turns off

Poor hygiene, rude to service workers, adults who are still obsessed with Disney to the point where they make it a personality trait, Trump supporters (or the equivalent in other countries)

7: My best friend

@wanderingwondererofthings

8: Sexual orientation

Bi? I think? IDK not straight tho

9: My best first date

I’ve only ever been on one date in my life and the dude ghosted me afterward which turned out to be a blessing bc it was not a good time in my life to try to start a relationship

10: How tall am I

5′2″

11: What do I miss

Mental stability

12: What time were I born

3:45 am or thereabouts

13: Favourite color

black

14: Do I have a crush

celebrity crushes but I don’t really count those

15: Favourite quote

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

16: Favourite place

bundled up under a heap of blankets by myself in a dark room with good snacks and a good book/movie

17: Favourite food

chocolate

18: Do I use sarcasm

do i

19: What am I listening to right now

my housemate doing laundry

20: First thing I notice in new person

what they’re wearing

21: Shoe size

womens 7

22: Eye color

brown

23: Hair color

brown

24: Favourite style of clothing

love that goth shit

25: Ever done a prank call?

not that i can remember

26: Meaning behind my URL

adam darski’s true form

27: Favourite movie

Ink (2009) dir. jamin winans

28: Favourite song

UHHHHHHHHHHH

29: Favourite band

Eluveitie

30: How I feel right now

like shit lol

31: Someone I love

My friends

32: My current relationship status

single

33: My relationship with my parents

it’s good and i’m very grateful

34: Favourite holiday

the day after halloween when all the candy goes on sale

35: Tattoos and piercing I have

none

36: Tattoos and piercings I want

seriously considering getting my eyebrow pierced soon. if I ever cut my hair short i’ll pierce my ears

37: The reason I joined Tumblr

to follow an art blog that made amazing JTHM fan art

38: Do I and my last ex hate each other?

what ex

39: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?

yeah from my mom

40: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?

yeah it was my mom

41: When did I last hold hands?

yesterday with my grandma

42: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?

takes me well over an hour to actually get up but then like 3o minutes tops

43: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?

no

44: Where am I right now?

in my room

45: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?

i’ve never been that drunk because i hate hangovers

46: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?

reasonable level unless i’m at a concert

47: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?

not anymore

48: Am I excited for anything?

sexy eggman is coming to san francisco

49: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?

no

50: How often do I wear a fake smile?

basically whenever i have to talk to strangers

51: When was the last time I hugged someone?

yesterday

52: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?

my mom is allowed to kiss other people it’s okay

53: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?

i don’t think so?

54: What is something I disliked about today?

i’m tired of being tired

55: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

my soulmate

56: What do I think about most?

spirals of existential dread

57: What’s my strangest talent?

I have no talents lol

58: Do I have any strange phobias?

going down stairs. i’m fine going up them but going down them freaks me out

59: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

depends on my mood and whether or not i’m ugly that day

60: What was the last lie I told?

“I’m okay”

61: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

In person or don’t fucking talk to me

62: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

yes and yes

63: Do I believe in magic?

idk. i believe there’s things that happen that we can’t explain yet so maybe that’s magic

64: Do I believe in luck?

i believe in good chances

65: What’s the weather like right now?

dark

66: What was the last book I’ve read?

The Habitation of the Blessed by Catherynne Valente

67: Do I like the smell of gasoline?

yes as long as i don’t have a headache or stomachache

68: Do I have any nicknames?

just dumb shit my mom calls me

69: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?

worst acute injury was the time i tripped onto an outdoor heater in kindergarten and burned the shit out of my hand. i also have a stress fracture in my spine that will never heal from gymnastics but that happened over a matter of years

70: Do I spend money or save it?

i try to save but i spend a little too much

71: Can I touch my nose with a tounge?

with a tongue? yes. with my tongue? no

72: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me?

my fluffy pillow

73: Favourite animal?

take a wild fucking guess

74: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?

trying unsuccessfully to sleep

75: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?

Columbus

76: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?

That Time of the Month by Harley Poe

77: How can you win my heart?

be a dog

78: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?

ceci n’est pas un corps

79: What is my favorite word?

sussuration or cathedral

80: My top 5 blogs on tumblr

this is the internet equivalent of the judgment of paris

81: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?

eat the rich

82: Do I have any relatives in jail?

not currently

83: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?

shapeshifting bitch

84: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

i’ll say anything on the internet i don’t give a shit

85: What is my current desktop picture?

86: Had sex?

no

87: Bought condoms?

no

88: Gotten pregnant?

no

89: Failed a class?

yeah, fuck ochem

90: Kissed a boy?

no

91: Kissed a girl?

 no

92: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?

no

93: Had job?

i’ve got one right now

94: Left the house without my wallet?

yeah lol

95: Bullied someone on the internet?

no

96: Had sex in public?

no

97: Played on a sports team?

i ran track for a couple years as a kid

98: Smoked weed?

yup

99: Did drugs?

no

100: Smoked cigarettes?

ew no

101: Drank alcohol?

yuppers

102: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?

no

103: Been overweight?

no

104: Been underweight?

yes

105: Been to a wedding?

yes

106: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?

only 5?

107: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?

only 5??

108: Been outside my home country?

yes

109: Gotten my heart broken?

yes but not romantically

110: Been to a professional sports game?

many

111: Broken a bone?

nope

112: Cut myself?

not on purpose

113: Been to prom?

yeah and it sucked and i wish i hadn’t gone

114: Been in airplane?

yes

115: Fly by helicopter?

no but I want to

116: What concerts have I been to?

a multitude

117: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?

yeah lol

118: Learned another language?

can I give this one a half a yes?

119: Wore make up?

yup

120: Lost my virginity before I was 18?

no

121: Had oral sex?

no

122: Dyed my hair?

yes

123: Voted in a presidential election?

yes

124: Rode in an ambulance?

no

125: Had a surgery?

do wisdom teeth count?

126: Met someone famous?

yup, holla atcha doug jones

127: Stalked someone on a social network?

no, i don’t care that much

128: Peed outside?

who hasn’t?

129: Been fishing?

no

130: Helped with charity?

i’ve donated some money

131: Been rejected by a crush?

yeah but a) I never actually asked him out, b) we were 12, and c) turns out he’s gay so like i’m not made about it

132: Broken a mirror?

no

133: What do I want for birthday?

a new laptop

134: How many kids do I want and what will be their names?

why would i want kids

135: Was I named after anyone?

my great uncle and great grandmother

136: Do I like my handwriting?

i have no opinion on it

137: What was my favourite toy as a child?

legos or something similar you can build with

138: Favourite Tv Show?

UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

139: Where do I want to live when older?

somewhere near the ocean

140: Play any musical instrument?

i wish

141: One of my scars, how did I get it?

i only have acne scars and those are pretty self-explanatory

142: Favourite pizza toping?

sausage, bell pepper, and onion

143: Am I afraid of the dark?

no

144: Am I afraid of heights?

sometimes

145: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?

no, i’m a good girl

146: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end

yeah, FUCK OCHEM

147: What I’m really bad at

being a functioning human adult person

148: What my greatest achievments are

not killing myself in college

149: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me

idk man i get upset by everything even when it’s not mean

150: What I’d do if I won in a lottery

pay off my friends’ and family’s debts, set aside a big chunk of money for grad school, maybe get my own place depending on how much is left

151: What do I like about myself

i have nice hair

152: My closest Tumblr friend

idk

153: Something I fantasise about

what don’t i fantasize about

154: Any thoughts on the paranormal?

hey demons come and get y’all juice

[kyliexc]

hey everyone ! i’m mini and i’ve had my eye on this rp for awhile, so im v happy to be here. let me introduce to you my bb kylie ! this is a big long so i sectioned off the parts explaining what’s what. you don’t have to read it all ! <3

❛ chicago’s very own kylie castillo has been spotted in new york city in a bentley continental gt, welcome ! your resemblance to becky g is unreal. according to tmz, you just had your twenty first birthday bash. your chance of surviving new york is uncertain because you’re hot-tempered, but being brave might help you. i guess being an aries explains that. three things that would paint a better picture of you would be hot cheetos with lime, clean makeup brushes, and soccer on the street. & ( cisfemale & she/her ) + ( mini, 22, she/her, est. )

*also, bc i always have to say this when playing becky g. im latina. :)

also pls like this and i will come to you for plotting bc i know ppl can be shy. (like me)

Basic Information

Full Name: kylie valentina castillo

Nickname(s): bean, ky, kyky, kc, k.

Age: 21

Date of Birth: April 15th 1998

Zodiac sign: aries

Hogwarts house: slythindor (slytherin + gryffindor)

Ethnicity: mexican

Nationality: american

Gender: cis female

Pronouns: she/her

Orientation: bisexual

Religion: agnostic-catholic

Language(s) Spoken: english + spanish

Accent: american with a hint of spanish

Favourites

Weather: fall

Colour: yellow or pink

Music: sebastian yatra, reik, travis scott, 

Movies: halloween or selena

Sport: soccer, basketball, hockey, volleyball

Beverage: tequila

Food: chicken or carne asada tacos

Animal: lions + dogs

Family

Father: alejandro castillo, soccer player (jersey #7)

Mother: lupe castillo (molina), seamstress

Sibling(s): jaime castillo + luna castillo

Pet(s): sushi and lola (dogs)

BIOGRAPHY

parents history

kylie’s dad is a notable soccer player in latin america, he has played throughout a couple world cups and has been on notable teams, even in europe (Manchester United? Barcelona FC? get back to me on this ahahah) He wore the number 7, believing it always brought luck to him and his family. kylie’s mom was just a normal girl who worked in a dress shop, sewing together sweet 15/16 dresses, which she really enjoyed and was good at. her mom’s family had a business and all the women in the family ran that little shop bc they made sure things ran smoothly. kylie’s parents met unexpectedly in a bar when her dad didn’t want to be noticed and her mom was out on the town with her friends. this turned into a fan marrying her idol sort of thing. it was super cute. 

kylie’s dad got chosen to be a part of the US soccer team, this was after he was dating her mom for about a year. before he could leave he didn’t even realize that lupe (ky’s mom) was pregnant with her older sibling jaime. that led to a quick marriage BUT lupe didn’t want to leave mexico just yet SOOO while her dad went off to the states, her mom stayed in mexico working on her business and it worked out really well for the two. 

two years later, after 2 years of a long distant relationship and the family dress business blowing up in Mexico, turning into a whole fashion empire, lupe finally decided to pack up and go to the U.S.A

along came kylie

kylie was the first born in the U.S.A, so she is american but she frequently travelled to Mexico during her childhood, therefore she understands both english and spanish. she is 100% proud of her ethnicity no matter how much hate she got for it growing up. 

kylie was always closest to her dad, he taught her how to have thick skin and go for your dreams. every night they would play soccer on the streets and he pushed her to be better. Kylie was on several soccer teams growing up, and has a lot of photos, awards, and memories to prove it. all her siblings were in some kind of sport. kylie’s was soccer while her siblings would be volleyball or basketball. they were known on the block as the golden 3 for being involved in sports. 

it didn’t mean she was a tomboy, oh no. while her dad taught her sports, her mom taught her how to be presentable. she would always say ‘let them judge you by what you wear so you can prove them wrong with who you are.’ those are words she lives by everyday when it comes to her appearance. 

her parents really taught her the value of working for what you want, even when kylie did grow up comfortable. her mom’s business was growing so much it was known in chicago and some other parts in the U.S. her dad was known for being one of the best soccer players coming out of latin america (up there with ronaldinho), but they both got to where they were through blood sweat and tears.

on her down time she got really into makeup and fashion, she did it a lot for prom season, posting it up on insta that some celebs hit her up to do their makeup and of course she couldn’t say no to that. kylie makes her own makeup out of natural ingredients that she uses with her clients, it’s something she doesn’t sell exclusively, it’s her best kept secret. 

she’s really popular within the latin american music scene and has done some collabs with english speaking people. those are just passion projects for her. it’s like, she’s known for different things, so she does them, but she’s not sure what she wants specifically.

since she’s tiny, people tend to make fun of her height A LOT, which she doesn’t mind, it pretty funny to her. it’s just something that’s been with her foreverrrrrr.

kylie still plays soccer in a league on her free time. it’s something that keeps her mentally grounded.

life isn’t so perfect * TRIGGER WARNINGS: anxiety, depression *

so being mexican in the U.S.A is never easy, and it definitely wasn’t for kylie that didn’t speak english until she entered school. she was constantly bullied and pushed around because of her ethnicity, because she was tan, unlike the other girls. 

of course she made other friends of color and non-color that accepted her but when you grow up seeing that there are people that hate you for what you’re born into, it damages a person.

for a long time she didn’t accept her body image, trying to lighten her skin or make herself look more accepting, it caused her to spiral into depression, she had a lot of fights with her family about this.

kylie developed anxiety where she overthinks and gets panic attacks, but thats why she still plays soccer competitively. 

kylie’s personality

kylie is literally F I E R C E. she’s got two types of personalities, one where she’s a home body and loves her family, will beat you in a quick game of soccer. she’s that bubbly girl with the laughter, sarcastic remarks followed by a smirk at the end of it

BUT

she is also that girl that when it’s time to work, she is scary. she knows what she wants, she know how she wants it and she will get flustered when it’s not like that. she’s got a whole ‘that BIIITCH’ personality, like when she’s on the red carpet, she just has it going for her kind of thing. 

but she’s a goof, and that’s something everyone will notice. she loves to make people laugh and smile. if you’re an asshole, those are her favorite types where she’s just drawn to those people. 

connections?

old school friends

old school enemies

makeup clientele 

squad?

ride or die

drunk friends

sibling like friends

exes ( good + bad + messy + angsty )

crushes ? 

former lovers to friends

um, anything? let’s brainstorm ! :)

[books-and-birds]

all the even #s

Hey, thanks Anon! I love talking about myself. This is gonna take a while...

2. A picture of me

I’m technology incompetent so ill try upload that after this

4. Last time I cried and why

Yikes! 2 weeks ago because I didn’t do so well on my math class this semester and I hate feeling like a failure 

6. Favorite band

Dawes. Theyre kind of folk kind of rock and its my main driving jam

10. Biggest turn ons:

fuck.. um... girls? Anything girls do? when a girl looks at me??? Good shit

12. Ideas of a perfect date

Picture this: Its raining outside. We’re both in pajamas. We make hot cups of tea and cuddle into bed under fluffy blankets and watch a movie together. Its supposed to rain all day, we have nowhere to go. We cuddle. You let me be the big spoon,

14. Piercings I want

I already have my nose and two on my ear, I don’t really want anything else. I went with my friend over winter break to get her nipples pierced and it looked really not comfy

16. Favorite Movie

Depends on the day. Life of Pi, RENT, Dead Poets Society, All the Star Wars except Phantom Menace, I just saw into the spider verse and that was pretty fucking rad.

18. Phobia

Dirty band-aids in swimming pools. NOPE.

20. Height

5′8′’. Small for my family of goddamn giants

22. Shoe size

Womans 8 1/2, mens 7

24. Do you smoke, drink, or take any drugs?

Only socially

26. Whats one thing you regret?

Not being more aware of the impact of my words at a younger age. Not apologizing when I had the chance. Not trying harder to stay in touch.

28. Favorite ice cream

TUMBLR DON’T HATE ME BUT I DON’T LIKE ICE CREAM

30. What does your last text message say?

Its me threatening my friend that I get the naming rights if he accidentally gets this girl he’s seeing pregnant. And I have name ideas to get this kid bullied his whole life through.

32. Have you ever painted your room?

Pepto Bismol Pink. Middle school was a TIME

34. Have you ever slept naked?

In the summer? Almost nightly. This actually led to a super weird interaction with a surprise visitor to my room recently. Good story/

36. Have you ever had a crush?

Right now my dude

38. Have you ever stole money from a friend?

No

40. Have you ever been in a fist fight?

Define fist fight. Maybe?

42. Have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?

Ouch, classic lesbian experience. That’s a yes.

44. Have you ever made out with a stranger?

Yep. At a music festival. It was a dude actually, I guess everybody goes through a straight phase in college, huh?

46. Have you ever left your house without telling your parents?

What, like sneaking out? I never had to. MY parents were super relaxed about that sort of thing. They let me have my own life. I’m also a middle child in a huge family, they couldn’t keep an eye on all of us.

48. Have you ever ditched school to do something more fun?

My friends and I had like 25 senior skip days our senior year. One time I had skipped school but my little sister called me asking to drop off a math textbook so I walked into school in flip flops and board shorts and looked the secretary in the eye and told her I was dropping this off. She knew I went there. She said nothing.

50. Have you ever seen someone die?

yes

52. Have you ever kissed a pictue

Does it make it weirder if I say it was a picture of a horse?

54. Have you ever loved someone or miss someone right now?

I’m missing all my college friends right now. I feel like I can be a more open, authentic version of myself around them.

56. Have you ever made a snow angel?

My whole childhood. New York, baby!

58. Have you ever cheated while playing a game?

Have you ever been a child? Of course.

60. Have you ever fallen asleep at work/school?

Yes to both. But actually I work at a school so double yes to the first one.

62. Have you ever felt an earthquake?

No but thats like a weird childhood fear of mine. What do you even do in an earthquake? Are you really supposed to take cover under a desk or is that just a weird thing they teach in elementary school?

64. Have you ever ran a red light?

Multiple times. All accidental. I scream the whole time like a fucking pterodactyl

66. Ever had a detention?

Once. Totally deserved it.

68. Ever hated the way you looked?

Who doesn’t from time to time? Most of the time I’m pretty comfortable in my skin and it took me a long time to get this way.

70. Have you ever pole danced?

Took a trial class with some friends once. I sucked!

72. Have you ever been to the opposite side of the country?

Yup! Its wonderful, maybe i’ll even live out there some day. I know its not the opposite side of the country per say, but Arizona has a pretty special place in my heart.

74. Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?

Nope. When I’m that sad i’m too much of an attention whore to go cry by myself.

76. Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn’t? 

Who hasn’t? I’m not exactly the same person 16 year old me had hoped I would turn out to be, but I wouldn’t change a thing either. I love who I am now, mistakes and all.

78. Have you ever slept with someone at least 5 years older or younger?

NO

79. Have you ever kissed in the rain?

Yup. Not romantic at all. Very wet. 0/10

82. Have you ever had a dream that you married someone?

Multiple times. If i crush on someone too hard I inevitable have this dream.

84. Have you ever got your tongue stuck to a flag pole?

It was a light pole

86. Have you ever been a cheerleader?

No, but once I got dressed up as our opposing teams mascot and had to sword fight our high school’s mascot and lose on purpose.

88. Have you ever brushed your teeth?

What would you do if I said no? How would you react to that, huh? Would you really want to know? What would you do with that information?? Think before you ask.

90. Have you ever played chicken?

On peoples backs, just straight up running at them, and on a horse! I won two out of three of these. I got a concussion from the other one. Guess which one.

92. Have you ever been told you're hot by a complete stranger?

Yes but it was a drunk girl so it was a genuine complement. Same girl later threw up on my front lawn, so you win some you lose some I guess.

94. Have you ever been easily amused?

Every damn day of my life. My friends describe me as pathologically optimistic. 

96. Have you ever mooned/flashed somone?

Lets just say I've been to New Orleans and I’ve earned my beads on Bourbon street.

98. Have you ever forgotten someone’s name?

Have I ever remembered someones name? Who are you? Who am I?

100. Give us one thing about you that no one knows

I am the director of a Ballroom Dance team at my college but I don’t know how to do the International Tango. :{

[georgieh]

Georgie Henley for The Times of London - ‘There is pressure on child actors not to admit it’s hard’

She had a ball as a child playing Lucy in the Narnia films, but her schoolmates were unkind — not that it stopped her. Now she’s on the London stage // Keep reading for full interview

Georgie Henley vividly remembers her first day in Narnia. She was eight years old, 12,000 miles from home and surrounded by a film crew waiting for her to act on camera for the first time. Henley was playing Lucy, the plucky youngest child of the Pevensie family in the Walt Disney film version of CS Lewis’s wartime fantasy classic The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe. On the first take she looked at the camera because she didn’t know better. That error aside, she thought she spoke her lines all right. Yet the director, Andrew Adamson, kept asking her to do the scene again. And again. And again.

After about an hour of this she started welling up. Adamson came over and asked why she was upset. “And I just said, ‘I’m getting it wrong, that’s why you keep doing it over and over again, isn’t it?’ And he said, ‘No, we have to position the camera in different places, we do different shots and then we edit them together.’ ” She laughs at the thought. “I mean, it’s basic stuff, but I didn’t know because I was just plucked from nowhere.”

Now 22, Henley has just started her first professional stage role. She is starring in Angry, a collection of monologues by the restlessly provocative playwright Philip Ridley at the Southwark Playhouse in south London. She is upbeat, articulate and aware of the negative narrative that surrounds child actors and quietly determined to buck it.

She is hugely grateful for her experience on the three Chronicles of Narnia films: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe in 2005, Prince Caspian in 2008 and The Voyage of the Dawn Treader in 2010. They have set her up financially, so that after finishing her degree in English at Cambridge University in 2016, she was able to move to a flat of her own in London. Unlike some other child actors, she says, who get pressured to support their families, her parents — Mike, a former solicitor who now works for HSBC, and Helen, who chaperoned her on all three Narnia films — made sure she kept her earnings.

“And I don’t take any of this for granted,” she says. “To have a franchise at a young age, it’s what a lot of actors spend their whole lives trying to get because you have guaranteed work and a guaranteed pay cheque. Not that I really thought about that at the time.” On the first film she didn’t even realise she was being paid. She did by the second film. “But it was like Monopoly money to me.”

Yet while she thinks there is “scaremongering” about what it’s like to be a child actor, she is quick to admit that it had a big impact on her school life. It happened almost by accident: a casting director, Pippa Hall, who had discovered Jamie Bell for Billy Elliot, held an audition at the drama club to which the seven-year-old Henley went each Tuesday after school in Ilkley, Yorkshire. “I was just lucky,” she says. She laughs awkwardly at the suggestion that, however she got the job, she was unusually good once she started doing it. “Thank you! I can’t cope with people saying nice things to me.”

She was “quite a weird child; on the fringe socially, just always off in my own world”. At first she thought she was auditioning for a panto in Bradford. As the process dragged on for months, and she started to travel down to London to audition alongside children from stage schools, she and her parents got to realise what it might involve. In fact, her parents pulled her out of the process when they were told it would involve four months filming in Canada. Her older sisters Rachael (who played the older version Lucy in the first film) and Laura stepped in, insisting that this was too big an opportunity to pass up. Her parents relented. Whereupon it became seven months in New Zealand instead.

“It changed my life,” Henley says. “It sounds cheesy, but it’s true. And I didn’t know anything. All I knew was what I had learnt in my drama club every Tuesday, and having parents who never told me to be quiet or anything, who liked me for being a little bit odd.”

Filming, give or take that first-day wobble, was wonderful. She apologises again for cheesiness. “It was like this magic thing. Every day it was a new costume, a new setting, new creatures to imagine you were talking to.” She watched the first film again two Christmases ago with her grandmother and enjoyed it. Certain memories from filming linger more than others: the day she played mini golf with Tilda Swinton, who was playing the White Witch, or the surprise party on set for her ninth birthday, when her father and sisters flew out to join her mother. “It was one of the best days of my life. It was just amazing. But it’s so funny when I meet children that age now and I think, ‘You are tiny.’ I remember what I was doing at that age and I can’t believe it.”

She has kept in touch with her co-stars, although they are rarely in the same room together. William Moseley, who played the oldest boy, Peter, acts in Hollywood. Anna Popplewell, who played Susan, still acts and lives round the corner from Henley in north London. Skandar Keynes, who played the younger brother, Edmund, overlapped with Henley at Cambridge. He was in his final year when she was in her first, but by that time he had stopped acting. “Nobody else will ever be able to understand what we did together. It’s this crazy, amazing thing. You just can’t explain it.”

As well as filming in New Zealand — and Eastern Europe and Australia in the later films — there was foreign travel for publicity junkets. She has visited Japan three times, she says, but doesn’t feel she knows the place since she spent most of her time there in hotel rooms. The same goes for New York. She will never forget being 15, waking up in her hotel room in Tokyo and remembering that she had a mock chemistry GCSE to do. She kept up with school work through tutors. The child actors shared classrooms as well as dressing rooms while on location.

Returning to normal life between films was difficult, though. Her family did a great job of keeping her feet on the ground, she says. They are all “very close”. However, she struggled when she got to Bradford Grammar School when she was 11. “Secondary school is where I struggled. I loved the work side of school, I loved learning, but the social side was a minefield. And part of that was worsened by the films that I had done, by me being in and out of school.

“There is such a pressure on child stars not to admit that it’s hard. To smile in interviews and say, ‘Yeah, I love my double life,’ and pretend they are a special agent or something. Because if they admit that it’s hard sometimes they sound like they are difficult.” She wouldn’t change anything about the films, but wishes she hadn’t played her achievement down so much when at school. She didn’t act in anything at school until her final year. “It was that thing of not wanting to put your head above the parapet for fear of it being sliced off, but I should have had the confidence to be proud of what I did. I was bullied mercilessly; people were so awful to me at school. It was amazing getting to uni and people being, like, ‘That’s so cool!’ And I was, like, ‘I know, right, isn’t it?’

“So I wish I could say to the 13-year-old me, ‘Be proud of what you’ve accomplished.’ And that doesn’t mean being arrogant. They are not the same. I think I conflated the two things.”

At university she studied English, but did theatre too. “You can experiment and f*** up or succeed, and if you do well nobody cares a week later and if you f*** up nobody cares a week later.”

She wrote and directed a couple of short films while there. She also kept up her film acting, although without Narnia budgets. In Perfect Sisters she played one of two Canadian teens plotting to kill their mother. The Sisterhood of Night, an American film, was a bit like The Crucible reworked for the age of social media. She also made Access All Areas, which was about a bunch of teenagers who go on the run to an island music festival. “It was amazing to be doing different characters,” she says. “People thought it was me trying to get away from the Lucy Pevensie thing, and maybe it looked like that, but your tastes change.” Before that, she was offered other fantasy or period films, but preferred to wait until she could do something different.

Talking of which, her professional stage debut certainly ticks that box. Ridley, known for troubling plays such as Mercury Fur or Dark Vanilla Jungle, has written six “gender-neutral” monologues, including one long one that is one of Henley’s favourites, about a teenaged sexual experience that may or may not have been entirely consensual. How you view it, Henley suggests, depends on which night you attend. She and her co-star, Tyrone Huntley, alternate who performs which three monologues each night. “You’ve got me, a white, straight woman, and Tyrone is a black, gay man; it’s two entirely different identities, but it’s the same words.”

Henley was already a fan of Ridley and had even written an essay about him at Cambridge, although she was mortified when one of the producers told him this. She will not let him read it, she says with a chuckle. She did some directing at university and would like to do more. Later this year she shoots her next short film. Beyond that some other work seems to be looming, but nothing she is sure about yet. She lives on her own, loves having her own space and isn’t in a relationship. “I’m a single Pringle. I don’t know how people my age have time for anything like that because I sure as hell don’t. I’m trying to keep myself together, let alone worry about someone else.”

The previous day she had picked up her first pay cheque for Angry.Fringe wages can’t be huge, but she’s thrilled to be paid for doing a job she loves. She is happiest when working. “Some child actors grow up and their career gets quite calculated. Their management say, ‘You can do an indie film, then you have got to do a blockbuster, and then you can do two more indies,’ but I’m just looking for stuff that scares me and challenges me; things I haven’t done before. Because I still feel like I don’t know anything and I have still got lots to learn, so having to jump in at the deep end like this . . .” she laughs. There is nowhere to hide when you’re doing monologues. “And that is terrifying, but it’s also a gift.”

[bringbackmaes14]

I found this “About Me” template here on Tumblr. I’ve reblogged it on my account if you wanna see the blank one.

1: Name - Gracie

2: Age - 19

3: 3 fears - The dark, heights, and spiders

4: 3 things I love - Ducks, math, and singing

5: 4 turn-ons - Being dependable, a good listener, funny, and artistic

6: 4 turn-offs - People who are messy, narcissistic, only care about looks/like me for my looks, and ignorant

7: My best friend - My sister, Caroline

8: Sexual Orientation - Panromantic Demisexual

9: My best first date - I saw Black Panther and got ice cream with my boyfriend

10: How tall I am - 5’8”

11: What do I miss? - South Carolina

12: What time was I born? - 7:57 a.m.

13: Favorite color? - Purple

14: Do I have a crush? - Do crushes on fictional characters count? If so, my current crush is Fatgum from My Hero Academia

15: Favorite quote? - “Surround yourself with people who are smarter than you, and don’t be afraid to be the dumbest one in the room because that gives you the most potential to learn.” - Markiplier

16: Favorite place? - Lexington High School

17: Favorite food? - Ambrosia

18: Do I use sarcasm? - Frequently

19: What am I listening to right now? - My cat purring

20: First thing I notice in a new person - Probably their hairstyle

21: Shoe size? - Women’s 13

22: Eye color? - Hazel

23: Hair color?  Dark Brown

24: Favorite style of clothing? - Graphic Tees or Dresses; there is almost no in-between

25: Ever done a prank call? - Nope.

26: Meaning of my url - My URL (BringBackMaes14) is based on one of my favorite animes, Fullmetal Alchemist (Brotherhood is better you can fight me) and one of its characters, Maes Hughes. His death was the first anime character death I experienced, and he died in 1914 which is where the 14 comes from.

27: Favorite movie? - Robots (2005)

28: Favorite song? - There’s a Platypus Controlling Me from Phineas and Ferb

29: Favorite band? Panic! At the Disco

30: How I feel right now - A little bit tired, and my back hurts, but my mood is good

31: Someone I love - My sister, Caroline

32: My current relationship status - Single

33: My relationship with my parents - My relationship with my dad has always been bad. He was pretty abusive. My relationship with him is okay right now, now that I don’t see him but once a year. I’ve always been really close with my mom, and a big part of that is I’ve been disabled my whole life and so I’ve always needed her by my side, so we’re just together all the time. Things are a little rough right now though.

34: Favorite holiday? - Thanksgiving. It has all the same big meals and family gatherings as Christmas, but I don’t have seasonal depression then or gifts staring at me from under a tree for three weeks, driving me mad with anticipation.

35: Tattoos and piercings I have - My ears are pierced

36: Tattoos and piercings I want - I want a rubber duck tattoo, probably just a small one on my shoulder

37: The reason I joined Tumblr - To look at anime memes

38: Do my last ex and I hate each other? - No, things ended on good terms. We’re still friends and we talk occasionally

39: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night” texts? - No

40: Have I ever kissed the last person I texted? - No

41: When did I last hold hands? - It’s been a few weeks

42: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? - On a regular morning? Maybe 10 minutes. On mornings that I shower? About 45 minutes

43: Have you shaved your legs in the past three days? - I haven’t shaved my legs in 19 years

44: Where am I right now? - In my living room

45: If I were drunk and couldn’t stand, who would be taking care of me? - Probably one of my sisters

46: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? - I only turn songs way up when they have great bass

47: Do I live with my mom and/or dad? - I live with my mom, my two sisters, and my brother-in-law. It’s my older sister and brother-in-law’s house. I have a brother who still lives back in South Carolina where I’m from

48: Am I excited for anything? - I’ve got a virtual Halloween party I’m going to this week

49: Do I have someone of the opposite sex that I can tell everything to? - No

50: How often do I wear a fake smile? - Not very often. I wear my emotions pretty openly

51: When was the last time I hugged someone? - Last night I hugged my younger sister

52: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone right in front of me? That’s none of my business really. We never actually dated and I don’t talk to her a lot anymore.

53: Is there someone I trust even though I shouldn’t? - Not that I can think of

54: What is something I disliked about today? - It rained while I was in the middle of going on a walk.

55: If I could meet anyone on Earth, who would it be? I’d like to meet J. Michael Tatum. He’s a voice actor in a lot of animes that I’ve watched and I really like his voice.

56: What do I think about the most? - Probably myself

57: What’s my strangest talent? - I wouldn’t call it talent but I can make a really disturbing horse-like noise.

58: Do I have any strange phobias? - I’m afraid of swingsets and trampolines

59: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? It doesn’t really matter to me. I don’t take a lot of pictures of myself, but it doesn’t have to do with not liking having my picture taken

60: What was the last lie I told? - “I’m not in a lot of pain.”

61: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? - I actually prefer video chatting. It seems more personal.

62: Do I believe in ghosts? - Yes. I’ve seen my twin sister’s ghost several times in my life.

63: Do I believe in aliens? - Yes

64: Do I believe in magic? - No

65: Do I believe in luck? - Yes

66: What’s the weather like right now? It’s 60 degrees Fahrenheit and cloudy

67: What was the last book I read? Mother Knows Best: A Tale of the Old Witch Best by Serena Valentino

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? - No

69: Do I have any nicknames? - Boo, Gracie Pie, Dot

70: What was the worst injury I ever had? - I broke my spine when I was 16

71: Do I spend money or save it? - I tend to spend it but I’m trying to save it right now

72: Can I touch my nose with my tongue? - Yes. I can also touch the bottom of my chin with my tongue

73: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of me? - Yes, there’s a pillowcase and a blanket

74: Favorite animal? - Panda Bear

75: What was I doing last night at 12 a.m.? - Sleeping

76: What do I think Satan’s last name is? - I don’t know, Smith? We’re probably all overthinking it and it’s something much more simple than Morningstar

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? - Flashy by GameBoyJones

78: How can you win my heart? - By not judging me based on my past and my disabilities

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? - Quacked to Death

80: What is my favorite word? - Feshnickit - the act of consuming alcohol until a point is reached where an individual is unable to function normally

81: My top 5 blogs on Tumblr - lady-raziel, just-shower-thoughts, plus-ultra-writings, drawing-prompt-s, and writing-prompt-s

82: If the whole world was listening right now, what would I say? - What that tongue do? (Idk I think it’d be really funny if the whole world just randomly heard that in their heads). If we’re talking like I’m on tv and broadcasting to the whole world and I’m not just telepathic/mind reading, then I’d probably say something about rights for women, colored people, and LGBTQ+ people

83: Do I have any relatives in jail? - Nope

84: Superpower of choice? - The power to affect probability. What’s the probability that I’ll ace this test? 100% What’s the probability that it will rain on my wedding day? 0% What’s the probability that my dad will shit his pants every time he hears the word “dragon”? 80%

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? - Have you been handcuffed before and if yes, then why?

86: What is my current desktop picture? -

87: Had sex? - No

88: Bought condoms? - No

89: Been pregnant? - No

90: Failed a class? - Yes. I failed IT twice and Java Programming once.

91: Kissed a boy? - No

92: Kissed a girl? - Yes

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? - No

94: Had a job? - It wasn’t an actual paid job, but I worked as a student aid in my school’s library in my senior year of high school.

95: Left the house without my wallet? - Yes

96: Bullied someone on the internet? - I’ve bullied people in real life, but not on the internet.

97: Had sex in public? - No

98: Played on a sports team? - I played basketball with a church league for 6 years

99: Smoked weed? - No

100: Done drugs? - I take prescription drugs for my disabilities, but I’ve never “done” drugs, no.

101: Smoked cigarettes? - No

102: Drank alcohol? - No

103: Am I a vegan/vegetarian? -  No

104: Been overweight? - I currently am

105: Been underweight? - No

106: Been to a wedding? - I’ve been to 4 weddings

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? - Yes

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? - Yes

109: Been outside my home country? - No

110: Gotten my heart broken? - Yes, but not in a “I got dumped or turned down” kind of way. Someone close to me told me something really devastating.

111: Been to a professional sports game? - I once went to a Clemson Tigers vs University of South Carolina Gamecocks game, which was a pretty big game for South Carolina

112: Broken a bone? - I broke my L5 vertebrae

113: Cut myself? - Never on purpose, but yes. I sliced open my thumb knuckle once and had to get 3 stitches.

114: Been to prom? - I threw my own prom at home my junior year of high school because my school’s actual prom was 3 days after my spinal surgery so I wouldn’t have been able to go. I went to my school’s prom the year after and the theme was Emerald City from The Wizard of Oz

115: Been on an airplane? - No

116: Flown by helicopter? - No

117: What concerts have I been to? - I once went to a concert at my church for a Christian barbershop quartet called Soul’d Out

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? - Yes

119: Learned another language? - I took Spanish classes for 3 years and French for 6 years

120: Worn makeup? - I’ve worn makeup before for stage performances but I don’t like to wear it regularly. Every once in awhile I’ll wear some mascara.

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? - No

122: Had oral sex? - No

123: Dyed my hair? - I’ve dyed my hair purple, and blue. I liked it better purple.

124: Voted in a presidential election? Voting day for the 2020 election is in 8 days, and it’s the 1st presidential election I’ll be old enough to vote in, but I don’t think I’m going to vote.

125: Rode in an ambulance? - Several times. I had a lot of seizures when I was a little kid. My longest one lasted at least 2 hours.

126: Had surgery? - I’ve had 2 major surgeries: I had my gallbladder removed and I had a spinal surgery to fix my broken vertebrae where they screwed 3 of my vertebrae together and used part of my hip to make a bone graft to cover it.

127: Met someone famous? - Unless the guys from Soul’d Out count, I don’t think so.

128: Stalked someone on a social network? - Definitely not (and if I had, I probably wouldn’t tell you guys)

129: Peed outside? - Do Porta Potties count?

130: Been fishing? - Yes. I went once when I was maybe 8 years old, and I was the only one of my siblings to catch a fish. I caught it by the eye socket though and its eye fell out. I’m still not sure exactly how that happened.

131: Helped with charity? - Yes. I don’t remember what the charity was called, but I worked in a warehouse once to collect shoes for homeless shelters

132: Been rejected by a crush? - Yes, but it was when I was 11 so I don’t know if that really counts

133: Broken a mirror? - No, but I’ve punched a hole in a wall before

134: What do I want for my birthday/Christmas? - The number one thing on my list is some Artemis Drawing Figurines. They have adjustable and interchangeable hands, and they come in both male and female shapes.

[andrewberkowitz]

2017 - A Year In Review

I’m not a pessimist, but it sure is hard to find the positives in 2017.  We’ve lived through almost a full year of a sexual predator as our President, seen thousands lose their lives to senseless gun violence, and have had our racial tensions soar to impossibly new heights. Changes are happening every day and sometimes it’s hard to tell if we’re even heading in the right direction. The world is scary for everyone right now, and while it’s important to stay vigilant, everyone also deserves a distraction every now and again. Some people sweat out their stress by running marathons, others through hot-yoga, and others through leaving our country all together and traveling the world. My decompression, as it always has been, is through totally immersing myself in the endless abundance that is New Music and dissecting it until the late hours of the night. This year, I was slightly disappointed by the lack of consistency from bands and songwriters. There was no Lemonade to inspire us, no Blonde to lullaby us, and no Life of Pablo to wake us the fuck up. In fact, 2017 feels like the year mainstream rap and pop just took a year off. DAMN. was alright, but overall, I wasn’t compelled by anything that made its way to the Top 50 Charts. So, where does that leave us? With an obscure collection of mostly sad, but beautiful songs that I don’t recommend playing at parties. Grab some tissues, and enjoy. Best Songs of 2017 25. “In Chains” – The War on Drugs Truly almost any song from The War on Drug’s fourth and best album A Deeper Understanding could’ve made the Top 25 list of the year, and I chose “In Chains,” sort of arbitrarily. “Chains” is classic The War on Drugs. A repetitive piano line, grazing synth, and straight-forward percussion chugs the song along until screeching guitars whip us into an incredible chorus that would make Bruce Springsteen diehards sprint down the nearest turnpike at blistering speed. Also, on the topic of The Boss, if the piano solo at the very end is not a blatant ode to “Jungleland,” than I don’t know what is.

24. “The Grocery” – Manchester Orchestra

It’s really hard to include this song by itself because it really belongs as a companion piece to the two-minute “The Sunshine” that proceeds it. In fact, the entire album of A Black Mile To the Surface is such a cohesive album from front to back that it’s hard to appreciate the parts of its sum and not just the whole itself. Alas, if Black Mile is a cohesive narrative, than the “The Grocery” is its epic chapter. After a near death (“you squeeze on the trigger / but all it does is click”), the song builds into an impossibly gorgeous wall of sound, a mix of multiple layers of pitched up vocals, guitars, pianos, and drums. It’s everything, all at once, and it’s freaking awesome.

23. “Through The Roses” – Future Islands Arguably the hardest working person in the business, Sam Herring, frontman of Future Island brings all the emotions to the front on “Through The Roses,” a deep-cut off the AOTY contender The Far Field. Somehow Future Islands always finds a way to make singing about pain so danceable and this is no different. “Through The Roses,” is one of the most emotionally affecting (“it’s not easy being human”) and lyrically vivid (“the cut is waiting / the cut is waxing and it’s cold) songs in his entire catalog, but it will also the one that will get stuck in your head the longest.

22. “Tonite” – LCD Soundsytem

When I first heard this song, I really wanted to hate it. From the jump, we are greeted with a cheesy 80s house beat, SNL-inspired cowbell, and the hyper-processed vocals we're used to hearing in Daft Punk songs. "Tonite" chugs along for four minutes, gradually adding tension with the help of a gorgeous synth line, anxious guitar plucking, and a choir of echo-ing vocal harmonies. In the song's final two minutes, Murphy substitutes his talking for singing and the pay-off is incredible. With lines like “you hate the idea that you’re wasting your youth" and "terrible people know better than you / the use and abuse of the wants of dear listener," you'll be mad at yourself for questioning this incredible song in the first place.

21. “Losing All Sense” – Grizzly Bear

A standout single of the new record, Painted Ruins, “Losing All Sense,” is one of Grizzly Bear’s most accessible songs ever recorded. A bouncy guitar riff pushes along the up-tempo song until a kaleidoscopic chorus takes over, slowing the song down to a crawl as Ed Droste anchors the moment with the thoughtful lyric, “could I ask of you / not to cut into me?” It’s such a great juxtaposition of jingling, upbeat instrumentation and dark lyricism. Not since “Two Weeks” have we seen a Grizzly Bear song this replayable, which is such a nice reprieve from the dense tracks that cover the rest of the album.

20. “Proud” - (Sandy) Alex G

Alex Giannascoli, the prolific Philadelphia singer-songwriter refuses to put himself in a box. In the past half decade, Alex has shown us a multitude of different sides to him, from straightforward lo-fi bedroom folk-rock (Tricks, DSU), to dark, weird indie-rock (Beach Music). On his latest though, Rocket, Alex takes all of his influences, and then some, and throws them into an album that has as many abrasive, screaming experimental-rock songs as it does simple, cozy, alt-country songs. It’s a terrifically weird juxtaposition to hear, but one song that really stands out on the latter side of that spectrum is “Proud,” an incredibly warm, Americana-style song that has Alex strumming cleanly on an acoustic guitar overtop a dancing piano line and a tambourine. It’s such a simple and classic tune you’re going to swear you’ve heard it before. It’s definitely not even close to the most interesting song on Rocket (Check out “Horse” or “Brick” for that), but it’s definitely the most beautiful and replayable, and those are the ones that tend to find their way into my year-end lists.

19. “Supermodel” – SZA

SZA, who absolutely deserves the award for Breakout Artist of the Year, is a co-writer for Rihanna, and on first listen to “Supermodel,” not to mention the rest of the stellar Ctrl, it’s easy to see why. “Supermodel” kicks the album off with a bang, as her vocals carry the song throughout the entire track, twisting and turning in gorgeous fashion, not unlike the cadence one comes to expect with the flows of Young Thug or Frank Ocean. SZA’s lyrics are at the forefront as she sings, clear as day, “I’ve been secretly banging your homeboy,” atop nothing but a few pillow-y guitar chords. Well, shit.

18. “May I Have This Dance” (Remix) – Francis and the Lights ft. Chance The Rapper

Before Chance added a verse to Francis Starlight's, “May I Have This Dance,” it just sounded liked a 80s cheese-pop ode to Peter Gabriel. On the remix, it still sounds like that, but with a much-needed upgrade to freshen it up. Easily one of the most (and only) danceable songs on this list, Francis’s lyrics of “can I say something crazy? / I love you” actually feel authentic and not overly saccharine, which make this song cut deep, if you let it. Chance ends the song with a characteristically fun (ex: “I love you more than you mother”) verse as we’ve come to expect, before the explosive final chorus brings the song to the end. Make sure you check this song out live – Chance and Francis have an adorable dance that goes with it.

17. “Waving Through A Window” - Ben Platt

I’m just gonna say it. If you are not a fan of corny musicals, then go ahead and skip this song. Now that we have the haters gone, I can swoon over the standout hit from 2017’s biggest Broadway musical Dear, Evan Hanson, an incredibly powerful coming-of-age show about bullying, anxiety, suicide, and unrequited love. “Waving Through A Window,” is an immediate hit that may sound like a Top-20 Christian-Pop song (I know) on first listen, but when you really let go of your judgements you can enjoy the song for what is is - one of the catchiest songs of 2017. Just wait until the major-key change at the end – so amazing.

16. “Follow My Voice” – Julie Byrne

There were a lot of solemn, introspective albums released by fearless women this year (Vagabon, Phoebe Bridgers, Julien Baker, Big Thief, Palehound), and Not Even Happiness by singer-songwriter Julie Byrne is one of the best of the year. “Follow My Voice” is the opening track on the album and also the strongest. An absolutely gorgeous acoustic guitar flutters along as Julie shares what seems to be a moment of tension for her in a relationship (“to me this city is hell / but I know you call it home”). Around halfway through the song, strings are introduced and that’s when the waterworks begin. It’s an absolutely real song about personal sacrifice, insecurity, and love, and you can feel every emotion thanks to Julie’s soaring vocal range.

15. “Cold Apartment” – Vagabon

There’s really no silver lining to this song. “Cold Apartment” is a song about the painful end of relationships and how nothing ever goes as planned. I love how vulnerable Laetitia Tamko is on this track, as she starts the song off with “I know it’s my fault. I gave up on everything.” From there, you are in for a ride of dark and brooding instrumentation and lyrics. While this song elicits the same emotions as Julie Byrne’s “Follow By Voice,” the roaring percussion of “Cold Apartment” at least allows you to take out your anger by punching a wall rather than crying softly into your pillow.

14. “Haley” - Big Thief

“Haley,” a standout track from the Brooklyn quartet Big Thief, is a beautifully, intricate folk-rock song with enough tension and resolution to please the average classical music listener. Overlapping twinkling guitars carry the song as the song’s tempo swells and contracts back and forth, reminiscent of a 1970s Joni Mitchell.

13. “Hunters Gun” – Palehound

“Hunters Gun,” the opening track from Ellen Palehound’s newest album, A Place I’ll Always Go stuck with me the second I heard it. While under two-minutes, “Gun,” packs quite the punch, as a lo-fi crunchy drum mix and simple electric guitar accompany Ellen Kempner’s desperate and painful vocals. As Kempner breath-sings “Don’t come near me, I don’t wanna see your face,” you can literally feel the goosebumps from the horrid scene she’s describing.

12. “Ballad Of A Dying Man” - Father John Misty

Enough has been written on Father John Misty that I don’t feel like I need to give this man more credit than he already gets, but I’d be remiss to leave off a cut from Pure Comedy, the latest output from J. Tillman’s impressive catalog. Like many songs on Pure Comedy, “Ballad Of A Dying Man,” is a sardonic social commentary on modern-day culture, but this time from the perspective of someone who is about to die. “Eventually the dying man takes his final breath / but first checks his news feed to see what he’s about to miss” is classic Tillman, as he sings over a track that is brought together by acoustic guitar, piano and some background gospel singers. It may be easy to roll your eyes at this song but it’s even easier to admire its beauty and genius.

11. “Chanel” - Frank Ocean

“My guy pretty like a girl / and he got fight stories to tell” may be my favorite lyric of the year, and it’s the opening line to Frank Ocean’s stand-alone single “Chanel,” released in March. One of the more braggadocious Frank tracks in recent memory, Ocean’s boasts about sex, money, and fame with a vocal performance that constantly shifts and turns with each new line, from tenor singing to a lower-register rap flow, sometimes even within the same bar. This is Frank at his best, flexing both his singing and rapping muscles while somehow still finding a way to make us to shed a tear while he sings about maxing out his Amex.

10. “Mallwalkers - Fred Thomas

Fred Thomas writes stories and then creates music around them. The Michigan native has written over 20 albums under several different alias’s and all of them are just as raw and impressive as the next. “Mallwakers” is the final song of his latest record Closer and it’s vintage Fred Thomas. A distorted guitar riff and crashing drum beat carry us through a mostly spoken-word narrative that builds and builds as the instrumentation intensifies and progresses. Listening to this song, it appears Fred is not singing for anyone but himself, as he reflects on the boredom and torture of a younger, past life, questing and criticizing something new in every line. Almost every line is simultaneously genius, funny, and heartbreaking all at once, particularly when he calls his high-school peers “horrid hushed hall talkers” and “judge-gabled gawkers.” Fred’s art has always been just as enjoyable to read as it is to listen to it, and “Mallwalkers” is no different.

9. “City of Roses” - Sufjan Stevens

In 2015, Sufjan released Carrie & Lowell, arguably my favorite album of all time. Since then, Sufjan has catapulted himself into a rare space of artists I believe can literally do no wrong (joining Justin Vernon and that’s about it). In 2017, he released the Planetarium LP, a Carrie & Lowell live album, contributed two songs to the fantastic Call Me By Your Name movie, and most recently, released The Greatest Gift, a Carrie & Lowell B-Side alum. Within the latest releases, we have been blessed with dozens of new Sufjan tracks that belong on this list, but the one I’m choosing to include is “City of Roses,” a short, addictive ode to one of Sufjan’s favorite cities, Portland. Unlike most of the sad, autobiographical tunes from Carrie, “City of Roses” is a refreshing reprieves of positivity, yet one that doesn’t sacrifice any beauty along the way. Reminiscent of Illinois-style folk rock, Sufjan admits, “I’ve had it enough with the east coast,” as he begins his trek to the beautiful Pacific Northwest. This song is short and sweet enough it will quickly reach it’s way to your most-played list before you know it.

8. “Real Death” - Mount Eerie

On July 9, 2016, Phil Elvirum’s wife died from pancreatic cancer. On March 24, 2017, A Crow Looked At Me was released, an album that pretty much chronicles in real time the aftermath, mourning and pain that Phil went through and continues to go through following her death. There has truly never been an album quite like this. It’s a rare, rare inside look to the unspeakable truth of what it feels like to lose the one you love and be left alone to raise your two-year old daughter on your own. “Real Death” is the first song off Mount Eerie’s arguably unlistenable, yet Album of the Year A Crow Looked At Me. All metaphor is stripped away, as Phil leads the song with the immortal words, “Death is real / Someone’s there and then they’re not / And it’s not for singing about / It’s not for making into art. When real death enters the house all poetry is dumb.” The language alone to describe his loss (“crusted with tears / catatonic and raw”) is enough to make you cringe and threaten to press the skip button. There really is no reward to listening to this song. But it’s real and it makes me feel things. And it’s the 8th best song of the year.

7. “Hey K” - Passion Pit

If you didn’t know, Passion Pit secretly self-released an album this year in March called Tremendous Sea of Love and it’s actually one of my favorite albums of the year. Despite my enjoyment of being in the minority of people who have been exposed to this album, I think it’s worth sharing a piece of the magic from the album in the form of “Hey K,” the most beautiful arrangement Michael Angelakos has composed to date. Warm, dreamy ambient synthscapes that we’re used to hearing from Passion Pit glisten and swell with twinkly pianos as Angelako’s familiar, yet slightly processed tenor glides us through the track.  While the track is directly aimed toward Michael’s ex Kristina Mucci, it is actually an exquisite love-song; a song of appreciation for what they had and will always have.

6. “Pageant” - PWR BTTM

I know I shouldn’t be writing about PWR BTTM because of the allegations against frontman Ben Hopkins, but I can’t help myself and include “Pageant,” --- the centerpiece of the same-titled 2017 record that never even saw the light of the day --- on my list. This is one of those songs that just stuck with me the second I heard it. The way in which Ben’s voice awkwardly bends along with the off-tempo melody of the acoustic guitar, the way in which their voice feels like it’s on the verge of breaking apart at any moment, and the way in which it does break apart at the end, all before an electric guitar takes the song to its natural conclusion. To me, it’s a perfect song and it’s a shame the song never actually got to see the light of day. In fact, good luck even finding this song on the internet.

5. “The System Only Sleeps in Total Darkness” – The National

How long have National fans been waiting for a song like this? After just about two decades of subtle, textured, mellow, down-tempo rock songs, the National reward its fans with “The System Only Sleeps in Total Darkness,” an urgent, thunderous, accessible stand-alone single that fucking rips. “I can’t explain it any other way,” says Berninger, and I have to agree. This song --- along with Aaron Dessner’s gross guitar solo in the middle of the song --- is simply one of the most fun, aggressive, cathartic National songs ever recorded. It’s up there with “Mr. November” as one of the all-time best too, and that’s saying a lot.

4. “Intrepid” – Pinegrove

Pinegrove know how to tangle your heart into a ball, play with it, and then give it back at the exact moment you’re about to curl over and die. “Intrepid,” the single off the supposedly titled Skylight supposedly out in March, is a call-back to the lo-fi days from Everything So Far. On the first couple listens to this song, it’s actually quite unassuming. Evan’s vocals are tucked neatly into the back of the mix, as clean guitars ring out over a tense percussive back. At times, Evan’s voice becomes more pronounced as he screams, “well the way I spent my winter / I wonder” but then almost immediately, he and the music pulls back, and leaves us wanting so much more. What feels like a frustrating tug and pull of tension with no real resolution during the lengthy and repetitive middle section soon makes sense when it transitions to its fateful conclusion. The tempo slows, then quickens, then slows, and then quickens again. Finally, the intensifying vocals and guitars swelter until they can’t take it anymore and we are greeted with a climatic, harmonious resolution all packed within a single chord. It’s a song that really takes a while to sink in, but once it does, you will not be able to stop hitting repeat.

3. “Orange Colored Queen” - Ty Segall

Ty Segall is a legend. If you don’t know him, he’s a singer-songwriter who has released 10 albums in the past 10 years, and that’s just counting the ones under his own name. He is a naturally gifted songsmith, who, at his best, has a really classic sound whose influences range across The Beatles, The Kinks, David Bowie, The Rolling Stones, to Queen. At his most interesting though, you can find Ty Segall crossdressing, wearing a mask and screaming nonsense into a microphone for five-minutes. “Orange Colored Queen” though, of literally the 200+ Ty Segall songs is probably the most straightforward and down-to-earth he has ever sounded. Starting with a beautiful and lazy guitar line, Ty eases us into the song before soon enough at the :50 second mark the track doubles in time, the drums kick in, and we are in paradise. I have a hard time describing this song because it’s such a simple and basic pop song that it really just needs to be heard, similar to any Beatles song you’d find on One. When a song is this good and this simple, you don’t ask questions – you just listen.

2. Appointments” - Julien Baker

Ok, so first, if you know me, I tend to be attracted to certain songs that have a specific formula to them. One of my favorite formulas is this: Quiet, atmospheric piano-driven ballad with introspective lyrics slowly builds to an anthemic, explosive, and deeply cathartic (key word) climax and that leaves you stuck in your chair for a bit after it’s over. Some of my favorite songs of all time employ this formula of slow start → rising action → climax. “Exit Music (For A Film)” does this well, “Ultralight Beam” does this well,” “I Dreamed A Dream” does this well. “John Wayne Gacy, Jr.” does this well. Well, Julien Baker, welcome to the club.

“Appointments” is that formula perfectly executed, with a twinkling guitar repeating throughout the song atop a timid piano line. As Julien reflects on a destructive relationship, the song slowly but surely starts to pick up pace, until eventually the music drops out altogether. After echoing and overlapping vocals fill up the instrumental void, the piano and guitar suddenly come back, this time with Julien belting the final refrain like it’s her final moments on earth, screaming, “maybe it’s all gonna turn out all right / oh, I know that it’s not, but I have to believe that it is.” It’s a powerful ending to a song that seems to bring as much healing to the listener as it does for Julien herself.

1. “Blanket Me” – Hundred Waters

Like I said in the Julie Byrne review, this year was rich in providing deeply powerful introspective indie-ballads from extremely talented frontwomen. “Blanket Me” was a song I discovered this year at a time when I really needed comfort and it really provided me the warmth I longed for. Just like its name, “Blanket Me,” is the feeling of locking yourself in a room, lying on the floor, wrapping yourself like a burrito in blankets, and blasting your favorite song until you sink deep into the floor. And if you think I’m being dramatic, go ahead and press play. The lyrics literally read “gone under, capsized and sinking” before she screams, “blanket me” literally 81 times (I counted). On top of the repeating lyrics, you get absolutely smothered by noise, as you are met with waves of vibrating synths, explosive drum fills, and a choir of pitched-up electronic vocals. There is so much going on at once that it’s hard to separate one sound from the other. It’s totally immersive, visceral, and above all, comforting. “Blanket Me” is the best song of two thousand and seventeen.

Full List:

1. “Blanket Me” - Hundred Waters 2. “Appointments” - Julien Baker 3. “Orange Colored Queen” - Ty Segall 4. “Intrepid” - Pinegrove 5. “The System Only Sleeps in Total Darkness" - The National 6. “Pageant” - PWR BTTM 7. “Hey K” - Passion Pit 8. “Real Death” - Mount Eerie 9. “City of Roses” - Sufjan Stevens 10. “Mallwalkers - Fred Thomas 11. “Chanel” - Frank Ocean 12. “Ballad Of A Dying Man” - Father John Misty 13. “Hunters Gun” - Palehound 14. “Haley” - Big Thief 15. “Cold Apartment” - Vagabon 16. “Follow My Voice” - Julie Byrne 17. “Waving Through A Window” - Ben Platt 18. “May I Have This Dance” - Francis and the Lights ft. Chance The Rapper 19. “Supermodel” - SZA 20. “Proud” - (Sandy) Alex G 21. “Tonite” - LCD Soundsystem 22. “Losing All Sense” - Grizzly Bear 23. “Through The Roses” - Future Islands 24. “The Grocery” - Manchester Orchestra 25. “In Chains” - The War on Drugs 26. “Motion Sickness” - Phoebe Bridgers 27. “Man of War” - Radiohead 28. “Guilty Party” - The National 29. “You Have The Right” - Passion Pit 30. “LOL” - PWR BTTM 31. “DNA” - Kendrick Lamar 32. “Evening Prayer” - Jens Lekman 33. “Charlie” - Alison Crutchfield 34. “Half A Million” - The Shins 35. “Reactionary” - Fred Thomas 36. “A Slow, Slow Death” - Los Campesinos 37. “Ran in Soho” - The Mountain Goats 38. “George Washington” - Why? 39. “Over Everything” - Courtney Barnett & Kurt Vile 40. “Mercury” - Sufjan Stevens, James Mcallister, Aaron Dessner, Nico Muhley 41. “The Greatest Gift” - Sufjan Stevens 42. “Blood On Me” - Sampha 43. “Darkened Rings” - Cloud Nothings 44. “Third of May / Odaigahara" - Fleet Foxes 45. “Total Entertainment Forever” - Father John Misty 46. “Kill Jill” - Big Boy, Killer Mike, Jeezy 47. “What I Want” - Cende 48. “Radio” - Sylvan Esso 49. “American Dream” - LCD Soundsystem 50. “Take Care (To Comb Your Hair)” - Ty Segall 51. “Keep Your Name” - The Dirty Projectors 52. “Dogs” - Pile 53. “Say Something Loving” - The XX 54. “Gone Beyond” - Peter Silberman 55. “Creature Comfort” - The Arcade Fire 56. “How Do You Sleep?” - LCD Soundsystem 57. “Look At Your Hands” - tUnE-yArDs 58. “Tonya Harding (in Eb major)” - Sufjan Stevens 59. “Taste” – Rhye 60. “Sugar For The Pill” – Slowdive Best Albums of 2017 1. Mount Eerie - A Crow Looked At Me 2. Julien Baker - Turn Out the Lights 3. The National - Sleep Well Beast 4. The War on Drugs - A Deeper Understanding 5. Passion Pit - Tremendous Sea of Love 6. Future Islands - The Far Field 7. Manchester Orchestra - A Black Mile To The Sun 8. Father John Misty - Pure Comedy 9. Sylvan Esso - What Now 10. Grizzly Bear - Painted Ruins 11. Los Campesinos - Sick Scenes 12. Fred Thomas - Changer 13. The Mountain Goats - Goths 14. James McAlister, Bryce Dessen, Sufjan Stevens, Nico Muhly - Planetarium 15. WHY? - Moh Lhean

If you've made it this far, thank you for reading. I hope you at least learned one new song or album that can bring deep emotion into your life. Below is a Spotify Playlist of every song except for PWR BTTM and Ty Segall. 2018, bring it on. Playlist here: https://open.spotify.com/user/andrewberkowitz/playlist/1v9fNU9V2foTnGu7LOjspO