#also been sitting on this since...december...LOL | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

astonmartinii · 6 months ago

Text

day nine: christmas on screen | carlos sainz social media au

pairing: carlos sainz x fem musician reader

what's better than being a super famous singer that's dating a formula one driver? being a super famous singer that's dating a formula one driver that is willing to dress up in silly outfits for your chirstmas special

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris and 4,231,893 others

tagged: chappellroan & netflix

yourusername: yoohoo! i'm excited to announce my christmas special is coming to you via netflix on december sixth!

view all comments

user1: i have never been more sat, my parents are telling me it's not out yet but i am SO sat on our couch

user2: this is about to be my entire personality for the next two months

user3: TWO MONTHS? weak.

oscarpiastri: CHAPPELL???

yourusername: i know right !!!

carlossainz55: why are you here?

oscarpiastri: i may not like YOU but i like y/n and i LOVE chappell

yourusername: so true of you

carlossainz55: no. not true of you

oscarpiastri: you have a problem with me streaming your girlfriend's music? supporting her career?

yourusername: i appreciate it oscar

carlossainz55: YES.

carlossainz55: you're only doing it to bother ME

oscarpiastri: listen here buddy i've been here since the disney days just because you're an OLD MAN doesn't mean i am

yourusername: i think you guys should maybe settle this on track and not in my comments lol

carlossainz55: i'm on it

oscarpiastri: if you can get close enough next season :P

user4: carcar beef even in the offseason we're being FED

user5: can't deal with oscar reminding me that carlos will be in the williams next year

user6: but oscar is also real as fuck for being a disney girl

charles_leclerc: do you need a piano man at all?

carlossainz55: if there's going to be a ferrari driver in this special it would be ME not YOU

charles_leclerc: well you're not really a ferrari driver anymore so.... it's still open?

yourusername: charlie... it's already been filmed... how did you think we made the trailer?

charles_leclerc: oh - BORING!

user7: so that's basically confirmation that carlos will be in the special right?

user8: i mean although his only talents outside of an f1 car seem to be golf, football and liking shady tweets - he does have a face card that demands to be on tv

user9: i wouldn't put it past y/n and carlos to somehow shoehorn smooth operator in there somewhere

carlossainz55

liked by landonorris, fernandoalo_oficial and 652,494 others

tagged: yourusername

carlossainz55: making my netflix debut with my love this winter - check it out december sixth!

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user13: CONFIRMATION !!!!

user14: tbf as soon as this project was announced there was no way he wouldn't be in it in some shape or form

yourusername: it took a LOT of pleading... had to use the netflix card in the end

user15: thank you for your service

yourusername: seeing your face on a big screen? do tell me more

carlossainz55: i'm just happy you let me on the same screen as you

yourusername: but we're always on the same screen together?

landonorris: not this gatekeeping...

yourusername: i don't think you'd want to see it lando

landonorris: why wouldn't i want to see my two best friends ???

carlossainz55: IT'S NOT SUITABLE FOR YOUR EYES STOP ASKING

landonorris: IS IT YALL FUCKING???

yourusername: my lawyer said i shouldn't answer that question

user16: netflix debut? bro said drive to survive? i don't know her

user17: i mean that show is a complete farce

user18: can't wait for the three episode run all about stake and no mention of max vs george

fernandoalo_oficial: wowee chilli you have outdone yourself this time!

carlossainz55: thank you nando :) i hope you will be watching

fernandoalo_oficial: i will be sitting pretty on the sixth no worries, but only if you and y/n come to my new years bash ...

yourusername: WE WILL BE THERE

fernandoalo_oficial: loving the enthusiasm!

carlossainz55: it's because she has a huge crush on you :(

yourusername: welp can you blame me?

carlossainz55: that's a surrogate father to me i will not be agreeing with you

yourusername: snooze

user19: y/n crush on fernando? she's even more relatable

user20: this makes the whole fernando x taylor swift thing even funnier

yourusername: i won't say it was me whole told taylor about that.... buttttt

user21: queen

netflix

liked by carlossainz55, landonorris and 2,893,099 others

tagged: yourusername, obx & f1

netflix: what will you be watching this christmas break?

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user22: me and my girls will be streaming drive to survive and then will be using a nonsense christmas as a palate cleanser

user23: REAL

user24: @netflix please do better with the next season xxx

carlossainz55: a nonsense christmas. over and over again. until it's all that is in my brain and tattooed on the inside of my eyelids

yourusername: omg you do that too???

yourusername: no living soul should ever see my 'baby' folder on tiktok LOL

carlossainz55: well SNAP

user25: really yall save the tiktok edits of each other?

yourusername: ummm yeah? some of you are VERY talented

carlossainz55: also we're apart more than we're together so something must tide us over

charles_leclerc: is that why you keep looking for cameras, smizing and pouring water on yourself

yourusername: don't forget the backwards cap!

carlossainz55: i gotta give them the material to keep my girl happy

carlossainz55: also who do you think suggested the juno position...

user25: thank you for your service

landonorris: wait so that cute fanservice moment was actually just the y/nlos KARMA SUTRA ???

user26: i need a significant other who does this much just for tiktok edits

user27: is this the 21st century romance we were promised?

user28: it's the best we're getting, poetry is dead i fear

yourusername: so i wrote juno for nothing?

maxverstappen1: i will be conducting a full dexter rewatch

carlossainz55: excuse you?

maxverstappen1: well why would i watch drive to survive? i lived it and i already watched a nonsense christmas - amazing work @yourusername

yourusername: thanks max!

carlossainz55: how have yOU watched it? i haven't even watched it yet?

maxverstappen1: i wouldn't have that if i were you y/n, that guy is meant to be your biggest fan?

carlossainz55: i AM

maxverstappen1: oh and i just bribed netflix lol - they had to make up with me at some point ;)

yourusername

liked by taylorswift, landonorris and 3,834,033 others

tagged: carlossainz55

yourusername: christmas was on screen for me this year, but i get to live my hallmark romance everyday

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user30: chat do we wanna put bets on how long it takes for them to get their own btec hallmark christmas movie like taylor and travis?

user31: next christmas for sure if they're still together

user32: 'if they're still together' kill yourself

liked by carlossainz55

user33: i will be sat for their awful attempt to film the racing scenes

carlossainz55: you're my fairytale ending princess

yourusername: as if you're not the biggest prize of all

carlossainz55: nope that would be you :P

yourusername: whatever you say beautiful

carlossainz55: no i'm being so serious, you being mine is the best gift of all and one i intend to keep for life

yourusername: well it's your lucky day, i want to be yours forever too

yourusername: but the y/ln name will live on

carlossainz55: i'm ready to take yours

charles_leclerc: it's true i caught him practising a new signature with carlos y/ln

yourusername: that's so fucking hot

user34: so that ended abruptly ...

user35: do we think?

user36: yep. it's defo what we think

user37: i mean i'd also climb my boyf like a tree if he said he wanted to be my life partner and take MY last name

taylorswift: we loved your special !!! see you soon xx

yourusername: thank you mama

carlossainz55: so are we all going to the super bowl orrrrrr

yourusername: let's get through christmas first babe

carlossainz55: ACTUALLY who do i talk to about getting you the super bowl halftime show

user38: boyfriend or agent? why not both!

carlossainz55

liked by fernandoalo_oficial, landonorris and 782,309 others

tagged: yourusername

carlossainz55: thank you netflix for allowing to broadcast how hot and amazing my girlfriend is and how absolutely off limits she is

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user39: bro used a NETFLIX special to tell people to back off his girl

user40: i need a boyf like this

user41: i think i speak for most men that we don't have the budget for this

user42: i mean y/n and netflix mostly paid for the special

user41: did or did carlos not ride in on his 'sleigh' that was a WHOLE FERRARI F1 CAR ???

yourusername: i want everyone to know your mine too

yourusername: why do you think i wear so much red?

lewishamilton: right, this is my seat now you people do know this right?

yourusername: RED CAN BE FOR SPAIN TOO

yourusername: DUMBASSES PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE TO THIRST OVER MY BOYF AND WEAR HIS COLOURS

carlossainz55: you do look otherworldly in red 🫶

yourusername: why thank you xx

yourusername: @williamsf1 any chance we can do a one off red livery - perhaps in spain pretty please

williamsf1: i don't think the social media admin has control over it

yourusername: okay i'll just dm james personally

carlossainz55: babe ???

yourusername: you look almost as good as me in red babe i'm doing it for the greater good

yourusername: @alexalbon you'd look okay too i guess?

alexalbon: i'll take it (and i'll take some tickets as well please)

user43: i love how y/n has just become the ticket plug

user44: and for both sides like why was she the one to get travis in touch with alpine but also giving charles the tickets to taylor in italy

landonorris: ugh we get it you're happy

carlossainz55: you doing okay buddy

landonorris: it's a lonely time of year and you guys aren't helping

yourusername: i have a song about this!

landonorris: what do you think has been on blast the last couple of days?

yourusername: i'll take the streams thanks buddy

liked by danielricciardo, oscarpiastri and 1,209,483 others

tagged: carlossainz55, charles_leclerc, yourusername & landonorris

f1: so how do we get y/n on OUR netflix show?

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user45: i ask myself this everyday

user46: i'll deal with all the fake drive to survive drama if we get a whole episode of y/n and carlos just existing

user47: i need a y/n hot lap while we're at it as well

carlossainz55: why are you posting such sexy photos of my girlfriend 🤨

f1: ummmmmmm... all photos of her are?

carlossainz55: WRONG ANSWER

carlossainz55: ONLY I'M ALLOWED TO SAY THAT ABOUT HER

f1: i didn't even say the word ???

francocolapinto: take me to jail then

carlossainz55: ugh i don't have the time to fight all of you

francocolapinto: weak

carlossainz55: i have a tight schedule which includes driving in the car you thought you would get and loving the girl YOU WISH YOU COULD BE WITH

francocolapinto: oop

user48: bro is crazy

user49: crazy in LOVE

liked by carlossainz55

yourusername: i guess you'll just have to ask nicely

f1: carlos won't fight us if we do right?

carlossainz55: no... for now

f1: COOL PLEASE COME TO A RACE

yourusername: i can't say much, but i do look just as cute in red as i do i blue :P

user50: YES QUEEN!!!!

user51: and when we get a y/n performance at a race and then we get a juno position at a grand prix weekend...

carlossainz55: that will be my onstage debut

carlossainz55: i know how outrageously horny all you lonely f1 guys are

user52: spill

yourusername: so not just as much as you babe?

carlossainz55: well i actually get to have you sooooooo

yourusername: true :P

user53: LEAVE US ALONE

fin.

note: woah this is like the first time i've written for carlos in like a year. oh and even though this is nice to him... the guilty as sin finale will come in the new year xx

#f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 instagram au #f1 x you #f1 #f1 social media au #carlos sainz x you #carlos sainz x reader #carlos sainz imagine #carlos sainz f1 #carlos sainz instagram edit #carlos sainz social media au

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httpknjoon · 6 months ago

Text

an awful good girl | myg

plot | that time in december of their tour where popstar!yn sang while sitting on santa's lap. (but who's santa anyway?)

w.c | 4K+

pairing | bass guitarist!yoongi x popstar!reader

genre | fluff, enemies to lovers

note | supposed to be another song but loved this one more. also, a little manhandling somewhere there... ps. i was listening to earth kitt's version of this song before switching. hence why some parts made it here.

main masterlist | series masterlist | want to request?

DAY 64 of Love Is.. On Tour

For your first December concert in Love Is... On Tour, you prepare a themed costume and performances for your fans. But a surprise song became the highlight tonight.

@.JUN0BABY: can someone tell me what's going on tonight??!?

@.t4asteme: WTF WDYM YN GAVE A LAP DANCE ON STAGE TONIGHT

[email protected]: she just sat on santa's lap

@.pov.yn: siri play that should be me by justin bieber

@.3435outro: as someone who's bi, idk if i'm jealous of yoongi or yn

@.FredInTheDrums: lol santa won tonight [insert picture from the stage]

@.0nlyangelz: her bassist is so hot i can't blame her 🥵

@.loveisviscious: lol how can they do shit like this

[email protected]: ikr?! they are prolly really good friends

[email protected]: we <3 that yn-yoongi friendship

But how did the concert even led to these tweets?

"Okay, band, gather in."

Before the band could go on their ride back to the hotel, Paul, the tour's wardrobe supervisor, called them to the wardrobe department's area. Exhausted from just performing, Yoongi slumped on the blue couch next to Noah, who was probably the only one still having the energy from the rest of the band.

"What's up?" Akio, the band's keyboardist, asked since she had been craving to go back to her bed.

Paul clapped his hands, "Okay, so you know that days from now is December. And we only have four concert dates left before the holiday break, right?"

The band members nod in answer.

"Good. So, each concert date will have different Christmas themes for these last dates. The first one will be Santa's workshop. And I just need you to pick your characters through the fishbowl method again." Paul explained, reaching for a cup filled with folded papers.

Having themed events is not really new with the band. During Halloween week, you did the same thing. You had two concerts then and decided to turn them into fun costume parties for your staff and fans. Yoongi, who was never lucky with the fishbowl method, got to be the Danny Zuko to your dreamy Sandy Olsson. They were only a week old on the tour at that time and the couple-costume made some rumors that eventually died down after you told the backstory during the same concert.

"Do you want to look at your characters or do you want it to be a surprise?" Paul asked.

Noah and Fred answered at the same time, "Surprise! Make it a surprise."

Both Yoongi and Akio just let them. Yoongi does not really care, while Akio is just dozed off on his shoulder. He tapped her knee to wake her up when Paul began making them pick a paper. After that, they handed back their secret characters to him one by one while he listed them down in his mini notepad.

"Okay, you are now free to go. You'll see your characters in the next performance. I already have your measurements anyway." Paul concluded, knowing how much the band had been dreading to rest.

The band got up and walked out of the room. On their way to their van outside, Fred and Noah were having fun teasing the youngest, Akio, like her little brothers. She groaned at their energy to wake her up. Yoongi walked behind them, busy on his phone, reading some text messages he missed during the concert. Most of them were from his friends and colleagues inviting him to work with them. But one message stopped Yoongi for a second.

From (555) 436-*22*

Hello, Yoongi. S, here. New number. Need to talk to you about something. Please call as soon as you see this.

It was a new number on his phone. But he can already recognize who sent it. Suddenly, his heartbeats were louder than his bandmates' laughs while he stared at the message in front of him. His jaw tightened when he read the text message once again. What does she want now?

"Hey, guys!"

All of a sudden, he hears your voice, greeting the band. He looked up, pushing his phone back to his pockets. You are now back in your oversized grey sweatshirt, after wearing your sparkly outfits all night.

"Did Paul already tell you about the costumes?" you asked, striking a small conversation with them.

You, yourself, are on your way to Paul to talk about your wardrobe for December performances. Costumes and themed parties are always your thing, so you try to do them at every chance you get. Cal stood next to you, busy on her phone for your schedule.

"Yeah, but we just picked some random paper. Then, asked Paul to just surprise us with our characters." Fred replies.

"Oh, that's exciting." you smiled.

You began talking about your plans for the next Christmas themes, making Noah excited as he is another big enthusiast of the holidays. Yoongi watched quietly on the sidelines. You two barely had any interaction since you cried on stage while singing POV, which was three days ago. It was too peaceful between the two of you, no arguments at all. On stage, you have interacted more with Akio or Noah. Not like he minds at all! It's just that it feels like you are avoiding him. You laughed around with everyone in the band during the show and rehearsals except him. He remembered you were being chatty with him before the rehearsals for POV days ago.

"And I got this new notebook, so like I took it as a sign to write new songs! I already have Christmas-themed ones, just need some help with producing them so I can release them before we take a break," you shared with the band, breaking Yoongi's thoughts.

The notebook! You got them. That's good to know. Yoongi did not really know if you got that souvenir notebook he left on your door as a peace offering gift since you haven't really said anything about it. He felt bad making you cry, although that was not his goal, and he didn't know what to get you since his options were limited at the time. He wanted to apologize and talk to you personally but you were always busy and he didn't know how, where, and when can he approach you.

"I know a guy for that!" Fred exclaimed, turning around. "Yoongi, you can help with YN with that, right?"

For the first time in a couple of days, you looked directly at him. It was like there was a switch. Your smile dropped and you blankly stared at him.

Caught in surprise, Yoongi looked away, "Yeah... Yeah, sure. I can help if she wants me to."

Although they won't speak about it, everyone, along with Cal and the other band members, can feel that there is some weird tension between you and Yoongi these last couple of days. There was no petty argument even though there are times that it can potentially start. Like when Yoongi accidentally knocked over your water bottle, you didn't say anything, which is unusual. Because normally, you would make a big deal out of it and Yoongi would fight back, making a bigger deal with it. But nothing, nada. You two were just robots around each other.

"It's fine, I still have other holiday songs that I can cover later these days." you smiled back to his friends. "Anyway, I won't hold you guys longer. I know that you want to rest already— Aren't we all?"

His friends laughed. You continued, "But thank you, guys. I had the best show tonight. I think the fans enjoyed Bed Chem the most."

Oh, yeah. That performance earlier where you invited Noah for the outro part of that song. It was wilder than what you did with Yoongi since behind the curtains, your silhouettes were shown taking each other clothes before getting into a suggestive pose, which you and Noah have fun doing since it was nothing but for entertainment. You are closest with him in the band since he was the only one who stayed from your past band. Plus, he is gay and everyone knows it.

Without any reason in mind, Yoongi's face felt so hot watching the scene, he had to look away.

Two days passed by quickly, you and the entire crew are now in another city. You left the hotel earlier than usual since you were excited to try on the costumes Paul made.

"Oh my god. This is so cute!" you exclaimed, checking yourself out in front of the mirror.

It was a red mini dress with a heart cutout in the chest area. Its upper and lower hems are lined with white fur. Paul even sewed silver gemstones everywhere, still in the theme of your sparkly aesthetic. You also have the matching gloves that equally looked perfect.

"I'll just show you the other ones every rehearsal." your wardrobe supervisor said. "Just to keep you coming here excited."

"I am always excited coming here to see your creations," you told him, twirling in front of the mirror. "How's the band's costumes?"

Paul pulled a rack of costumes that were made for your live band. There are two sets of costumes for the elves, a brown onesie and headband for Rudolph, and a red sparkly suit, matching yours, for Santa Claus. The faux white beard was ditched as it might disturb the member's performance.

"So, who's my Santa for tonight?" you smiled.

The surprise performance you planned for later needs a Santa. So, other than your costume, you were also excited to know who got the special role. You don't really mind who it is since you get along with almost everyone—

"Yoongi."

2:37 PM

You looked at the time on the upper right of your phone screen. The call time was exactly thirty-seven minutes ago. Initially, the rehearsals for the surprise performance will be practiced first since it is a new addition to the setlist. But Yoongi said he'll be late for a few minutes. So, they moved to doing a soundcheck for other songs. But it has been five songs without her bass guitarist. Where is Yoongi? He has never been this late before. You walked up to Cal, who was talking with Art.

"Should we just change San-"

"Sorry, I'm late."

As if on cue, Yoongi walked on the stage with his guitar. He looked different, you thought. Maybe because it was your first time seeing his flowy, black hair in a man bun, which you won't admit looks good on him. You rolled your eyes at thinking that. Yoongi went straight to his usual spot in the band. He was setting up his guitar when you walked up to him.

"You're almost an hour late," you told him, crossing your arms over your chest.

"I know, that's why I said sorry," he replied nonchalantly, looking down at his guitar. "I told Art that I am going to be late-"

For the thousandth time, he is avoiding looking at you again. You remembered him looking away nights ago when Fred asked Yoongi if he could help you produce your self-written songs. He was also doing the same thing for like two weeks now.

"Why can't you look at me?!"

Like a volcano that erupted unexpectedly, you cut him off. Everyone watched in silence at you and Yoongi. Your brows were furrowed as you stared at him. But instead of glaring back at you, Yoongi just replied, unbothered.

"As if you weren't avoiding me these past few days?"

You blinked, "Uh... I'm not."

Thank God liars don't really get their pants on fire when they lie in real life, because you would end up burning your legs if they do.

"Yoongi, YN, please follow me. Now." Art suddenly spoke.

He's mad,. You rarely see the older guy look serious. You looked at Cal, who simply tilted her head to Art, raising an eyebrow like she was telling you to follow him. You walked when Yoongi walked past you to where Art was going.

No one spoke as you two walked behind Art. But both you and Yoongi can feel the atmosphere feeling like you two are second graders who are about to get a lecture from your teacher. Maybe get sent to detention. Art stopped in one of the vacant dressing rooms at the arena. He opened the door for you two. he did not say anything but you and Yoongi took it as a sign that he wants you to go in first.

"Please occupy the couch— the same couch." he had to correct himself when you and Yoongi sat on a different sofa that was on each wall of the room. He sighed, kids.

Following what Art said, you and your least favorite band member sat on opposite ends of the couch. An obvious three-feet distance is between you two. Your tour manager reached for a monoblock chair, sitting before you.

"I have had enough of this whole eye contact thing, okay? We have to solve this here and now. It's wasting everyone's time." Art spoke sternly like he was a dad for both you and Yoongi. "Who can tell me what's the problem?"

"He won't give me any eye contact when he talks to me," you said, trying not to sound too bratty or childish.

Yoongi crossed his arms, "Two weeks ago, she was telling me not to look at her and now, she's asking why I'm not looking. I'm just doing what she wants me to do."

Art nods, then looks at you.

"He was staring too hard that day, it was uncomfortable. And I didn't mean for him not to look at me at normal conversations on the daily." you defended.

"We never had any normal conversations." your bassist mumbled lowly, making you roll your eyes.

Art intervened before another fight ensued, "So, what do you want now, YN?"

"I... I just want him to look at me when we're talking..." your volume gets lower when you realise how that statement felt a little needy.

It was like you heard Yoongi put on a smug smirk (if that was even possible), and you turned your head to him just to confirm that yes, he had that stupid smirk on his lips.

"We never see each other eye to eye. Why are you so bothered about it?" he asked.

Before you could pause and ask yourself the same question, you replied, "Uhm, eye contact is part of having a proper human conversation. I mean, it just feels like I am being ignored when I can't see the eyes of the person I'm talking with."

What the hell even is that answer? You mentally slapped your forehead.

"Yeah, you would know something about ignoring someone, right?" Yoongi scoffed.

You looked at Yoongi, who is now looking back at you. Art is starting to feel that this is something deeper than the eye contact thing.

"Should I leave you two alone?" he asked, more careful this time.

"Yes."

Yoongi was the first to answer, being firm with it. You were taken aback for a second by how quick he was but nodded when Art turned to you to get your answer.

"Fine, I'll give you five minutes. Then, everything should be good and we'll go back to rehearsals." Art stood up.

Yoongi waited for him to close the door before turning to you. He wasted no time.

"I'm sorry."

Confused, you squinted, "For... what?"

That was not what you expected you hear from him when he agreed to talk with you alone here. You thought he would just keep on implying that you were the issue and confusing.

Yoongi sighed, "I'm sorry for saying what I said when we were in rehearsals for POV. It was not my intention to make you cry while performing it."

"Oh..." you gulped. That was not his fault. "It's a decision I made, I just got carried away, that's all."

You know that there is something more to that, but you hate to sit and drown yourself alone with your feelings. So, you won't do that today.

"Yeah, I know. But I feel like I pushed you into it. That's why you were ignoring me. Right?" Yoongi added. "I know that everything is probably still—"

"You know what? It's fine, it's okay. I appreciate your apology. But really, it's not fully on you. Let's just move forward from this." you cut him off before he can say more things.

He looked at you for a moment, like he was studying you. You hate it. That is what you mean when you say you don't like him looking at you. It was like he could see right through your lies. Like some magician.

"Please stop staring," you whispered, feeling a little small. "Don't stare like you are reading me like a book."

His stare softened when you said that. Nodding, he looks away.

You quickly spoke, "But you can look at me! Just... don't stare too hard. I'm not that kind of diva."

He chuckled, "Okay."

"Okay." you sighed. There are things that are still not discussed but you can probably talk about it next time or whatever. As you felt the awkward silence filling in the room, you asked. "Are we back to normal?"

"Yeah."

By normal, it means professional colleagues who probably still have a very tiny animosity due to their differences. Because normal, to you and Yoongi, is not being friends. You are not friends, just two people who need each other for your jobs. But now, you are about to sit on your bass guitarist's lap for a performance later.

"Are you comfortable with this?" you asked him after letting him know that he would be involved as Santa tonight.

"You're just gonna sit on my lap?" he asked with a blank expression.

"Yeah," you replied shortly.

It was supposed to be something freakier than that but considering the unexpected changes earlier in your tour, you changed whatever that is into a simple sit on Santa's lap.

"Okay."

Everyone can feel the tension lifting from you and Yoongi the moment you two returned with Art. You were communicating at each other better and they could see it especially when you began rehearsing for Santa Baby.

The dancers and other band members were teasing and laughing when you two began with your bit on Santa's throne. Yoongi was quiet, but smiling at some parts. You, on the other hand, were playing along, loving the energy with your crew. You were back in your playful persona while dancing around Santa, teasing him, just to make others entertained.

You were enjoying the song, Yoongi understands. But you cannot stop unconsciously wiggling on his open lap and you were getting dangerously close to him, while he is wearing his grey sweatpants. He just have to do something.

"Santa baby— oh."

You gasped at Yoongi's sudden pull down on your waist, making you stay in the same spot on his lap. You looked at him, instantly recognizing the slight tint of blush on his cheeks.

"Just stay here," he whispered with his voice lower than usual.

"Oh, okay... sorry." you pressed your lips together before looking away to smile at something else.

"Just don't move around too much." he added before removing his hold on your.

You nodded, "Noted."

"Good." He whispered under his breath.

"Of course, we won't let this night end without a surprise gift for you!"

The fans screamed as you announced that. You have been performing for almost an hour now. four outfit changes later, you are now in a sparkly, red cloak with faux fur on its hem, hiding your themed outfit underneath. Your surprise holiday performance is conveniently placed in the final performance of the night.

"Hit it!"

As a signal, you posed, raising your index finger and putting your candy cane before you. The local barbershop quartet that you hired for your four December shows began singing.

"Ba-boom, ba-boom, ba-boom, ba-boom..."

Once the instrumental of the classic, sultry Christmas song began, Yoongi watched you turn around, instantly meeting his eyes. Unlike before, the director are now aware of your actions since you promised to follow what was rehearsed.

"Ba-boom, ba-boom, ba-boom, ba-boom…"

In every ba-boom, you step closer to Yoongi with your candy cane. The corners of your lips are curved up slightly. Your eyes say nothing but mischief that Yoongi can only hope that you will not do anything that can make him trend online. Like when you did your favorite freaky position before him.

"Santa, baby. Slip a Sable under the tree for me..."

The fans cheered when your soft voice began singing. You are an angel with the spotlight serving as a bright halo behind you, Yoongi thought. Whenever you sing to him during these live shows, Yoongi sometimes finds himself getting transported to another space. Maybe it's because of the light... the songs... the atmosphere... or the way you nod your head in every word you sing like you mean it. It's hypnotizing.

"I've been an awful good girl..."

By that line, you are already next to him, leaning your back to his side like you are in distress. You continued singing next to him, while a famous Santa Claus throne was being put up on the farther heart-shaped centerstage.

"Santa, baby, a '54 convertible too, light blue. I'll wait up for you, dear..."

Yoongi bobbed his head along with you while playing his guitar, seemingly enjoying the song.

"Think of all the fun I've missed, Think of all the fellas that I haven't kissed..."

You began walking around the band and all over the stage, singing to your fans who joyfully sang along with you.

"Next year, I could be just as good. If you check off my Christmas list..."

You took the time to sing and bond with them, giggling at the funny signs they brought with them.

"Santa, honey, So hurry down the chimney tonight..."

While moving to the song's fourth verse, you walked back to Yoongi. The fans screamed when you playfully teased him with your candy cane, before pulling yourself closer to him. You clung to his arm and you two walked down to the center stage.

"Come and trim my Christmas tree, With some decorations bought at Tiffany's..."

While singing, you pushed Yoongi to sit on the throne. He acted like he would stand up but you pushed him again, placing your candy cane on his lap. Finally, you dramatically remove your cloak, revealing your shimmering your mini-dress.

"I really do believe in you, Let's see if you believe in me..."

You danced around the throne, leaning over it before finding your way back to Santa. Yoongi mentally prepares himself, and even adjusts his pants.

"Santa, baby, forgot to mention one little thing, a ring..."

As soon as you found your place on his lap, your audience went crazy. You continued singing, facing Yoongi, your Santa for tonight. You pointed to your empty ring finger. Yoongi was just vibing along to your singing, swaying his head along.

"Santa, baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight..."

But you were so into the song that you forgot what Yoongi told you earlier. You kept wiggling on his lap once again, singing along with your fans. Screams erupted when Yoongi held your waist. You felt his hand firmly holding you down, making sure that you would sit still. Although taken aback for a second, you smiled and felt blood rushing through your cheeks.

"Waiting... Hurry, tonight... Hurry down the chimney tonight."

When you sang those last lines, you acted like whispering it close to Yoongi's ear. leaning a little closer to him. Yoongi simply raised an eyebrow, an action enough to get loud reactions.

The lights slowly dimmed down with you still sitting on his lap. Fans cheered for the last time, knowing that it was the last song. But suddenly, a familiar tune plays in the whole arena.

"You didn't think that was all, right?"

note | i received your requests and i'm working on it. but please know that holiday-themed drabbles are currently prioritised 🥹 tysm for the love

taglist rules

SERIES TAGLIST

@busanbby-jjk @jimingirl95 @treacherqus @jajabro @marnz1990 @ktownshizzle

PERMANENT TAGLIST (CLOSED)

@dunixxd @cixrosie @jksjx @embrace-themagic @buttvi @starbtslove @missseoulite @vanntaesworld @kenqki @imajinthis @stopeatread @seolaquotes @greyrain23 @chimchimmarie @petalsofink @jayhope88 @moonchild1 @laylasbunbunny @nikkiordonez12 @misshale21 @marblemoonstones

#bass guitarist! yoongi #yoongi fluff #yoongi x reader #yoongi imagine #yoongi au #yoongi x y/n #yoongi x you #bts drabble #bts aus #bts fanfic #bts x reader #bts x you #bts x y/n #yoongi fanfic #bts suga #httpknjoon #love is... on tour myg #Spotify

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greensagephase · 4 months ago

Note

🤭

Hiii, Lara pooks!! 🥰 I’m finally answering this ask that’s also been in my inbox since December (I’m sorry).

Not one, not two, but THREE works! I’m honored! May I say that the first one made me giggle because of how sassy he is? “Ya. The only problem? It’s a shitty plan!” I love this sassy mafia man! Also, God, he looks so good while telling whoever he’s talking to about their bad plan.

Okay, so when I first saw this ask, the second drawing on the bottom half of the first panel got me like??? 👀👀 Because I had noticed the green eyes in the previous ask from the half of the drawing comparing 25yr old and 35yr old Miguel. When I first saw the first ask, I thought maybe you were playing around with the eye color (green), and then you dropped this ask and I was like, “WAIT! This is actually a thing” when I saw that this Miguel has green eyes. And now you’ve revealed that he discovered rapture (in the latest ask you’ve sent, which I have yet to answer. I’m so behind with notifications🫠), so now I have questions that hopefully you’ll answer in future art! So, 25-year-old Miguel was working at a lab and he discovered rapture… And that’s why now in his mafia era, Miguel has green eyes! Did he take it willingly, or did something go wrong? And if he did take it willingly, why? How did he go from a geneticist to a mafia don? I have questions, Lara, and I hope we learn more in the future! 😭 🙏🏼

Also, I love the second panel so much! I love how I can tell 35-year-old Miguel looks so much more mature, not only by the white streaks of hair, but also in his face lines. Mwah! I loved that detail, and I need 35-year-old Miguel in my life, like yesterday, please!

I’m not gonna lie, the last panel had me barki- I mean, screaming! The way he’s sitting there, so powerful and handsome? Bout to ask if his lap is taken, or if I may take a seat. 😩 The hair? Sir, please, let me just run my fingers through it! Also! I hadn’t noticed mans has a scar on his eyebrow?! It’s only because of this colored drawing that I realize it’s a scar, and not like, something he decided to do to his eyebrow for himself (you know how some people specifically shave a line off?). Now I’m curious how he got it! Was it Kira? 🤭 Also, the way the light makes his eyes look so pretty?? I wanna gaze into them forever. 🥺

Aughhhh, Lara! Your art! You’re always cooking, and I thank you for that and also for continuing to share your OC and variant Miguel’s lore. It always inspires me to work more on my own, but I never do lol. 💀Maybe in the future! But, thank you once again for sharing your art with me! 🥹 I’m going to hopefully answer the rest of your asks this week. I was hoping to answer more this weekend, but I started feeling under the weather on Saturday. Anyway, feeling alright now, so I should be able to answer my asks and catch up.

I hope you had a wonderful weekend, pooks!💖

Alondra❤️

#Laura's inbox art drops #he's sooooo 🤭🤭🤭#I need him😩#alondra's answers 🍁#miguel o'hara #atsv miguel #spiderman 2099 #across the spiderverse #miguel spiderverse #miguel spiderman #miguel o'hara fanart #miguel o'hara x oc #mafia!miguel o'hara

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opiopal · 4 months ago

Text

(I found this old draft from like, early December! I remember it was a practice at writing dialogue and a bit of angst? I just remember sitting in an art class and typing it out lol, But I decided to clean it up a bit and post! Since I haven’t been posting often and I have about 60 drafts lined up, lowkey I can’t tell if it’s any good or not, since idk if my skills have grown since my wattpad days. I would’ve fully rewritten it, but I knew it would’ve been a pain so I just spell checked and replaced a few sentences.)

•

(First scene takes place before lesson 16, second scene is during lesson 16. Also this is just a thing I thought of a while ago)

•CW: description of blood and dead body at the end.•

Mc has been staring at him for a while, hugging onto one of their pillows tightly, completely lost in thought. Mammon had brought them an extra cup of noddles, they had both just gotten back from RAD a while ago so they were reasonably hungry, and he apparently made two “by mistake” and just didn’t wanna waste it.(Mc thought it was a dumb excuse, but didn’t want to mention it and just accepted the food.) Though Mc had finished theirs a while ago, mammon was taking his sweet time, awkwardly staring down at the floor and occasionally flicking his eyes over at the human sitting no less then four feet away from him. It doesn’t cross their mind that he may be acting so awkward due to the fact that they have just been staring at him for the last ten minutes, but how could they really tell? Ever since they had made a pact with him, he’d been so awkward that it made levi look like an extrovert. As the seconds go by he wonders if he should question them, maybe there’s something wrong with them?? Why else would they be staring?? Or maybe there’s something on his face? Is his hair a mess? Is his shirt wrinkled? Why in the three realms won’t they just look away???

“do you like me?”

as they finally break the silence mammon chokes a bit, he coughs as his cheeks almost immediately get red,

“H-wh- I- What?!” “do you like me?” They asked it so casually, as if they were asking him if it were going to rain soon.

“O-of course I don’t!”

“then why do you hang around me?”

“because I HAVE to!”

“even at home?”

“yes!”

“how come?” They set their pillow to the side as they stare at him, he stammers

“I- well- because.. it’s… dangerous for you to be alone!”

Mc tilts their head slightly and furrows their brows, ”do you think your brothers would be a danger to me? Am I not safe here?”

“NO! I mean- uhm- obviously you’re safe here, I just.. you know I need to watch you!”

“but if I’m safe.. then why would you need to?”

“well-“ he pauses, his face somehow gets redder,

Mc smiles and scoots closer to him,

“you wanna know what I think?”

he side eyes them as they slowly start to smile,

“I think we’re friends,”

“PFFTT WHAAAT! NO! No. No we aren’t.”

“I think we are!”

“No” ”yes,” ”no-“ ”yes!” ”no!”

“Then I’ll ask again, How come you hang out with me?”

“I-“ as he pauses again to try and think of an excuse that wouldn’t cause anxiety or worry, he doesn’t want them to believe his brothers would hurt them- but he doesn’t want them to know the painfully obvious truth!!!! mc grins and wraps their arms around one of his,

“we’re frriendss~” they say in a sing songy voice, pressing their cheek against his shoulder. at this point he was so flushed you’d assume someone had came in and slathered red paint all other his face.

a bit of frustration creeps in as he yanks his arm from their grasp, and pulls them in for a tight hug as he avoids eye contact with them. If he can’t deny it, he might as well own it.. right??

“Well. I guess you WOULD want to be friends with the great mammon! It’s only natural!!”

a little surprised, mc giggles and wraps their arms around his torso in return,

“oh yeah, that’s totally it.”

“A- hey! Don’t be gettin all sarcastic!”

They turn their head to look up at him, at this point nearly laying in his lap. They stop giggling for a moment to smile at his face red face, they didn’t really mean to tease him, but he didn’t seem to be taking it to harshly. though still they apologize,

“I’m sorry, you’re right. Though you are a pretty good friend.”

“… really?”

his response surprises the both of them for a second, honestly he didn’t mean to say it, that was just an inside thought that managed to sneak out. He adjusts his arm to support the back of their head as he stares down at them.

“yeah, of course, I think you’re amazing mammon… and you’re doing a fantastic job… keeping me safe, that is.”

• •

That moment almost immediately enters his mind as he stares down at them, pulling their body closer into his chest as their blood slowly begins to soak his arms and lap.

he wasn’t doing a fantastic job. He didn’t. He hasn’t. Why would he let this happen? HOW could he let this happen? He’s holding his human, his mc, as his youngest brother laughs.

He can’t look away, his mind re-memorizing their face, their eyes looked straight ahead with no sign of life, unblinking. He cups their face, shaking them gently, wanting them to do something, anything. To laugh at him being so worried, to make a comment about all the commotion, to mumble something about Lucifer, to blink, to BREATHE, To do ANYTHING. he could feel their warmth fading away, they were so cold. They didn’t deserve to be cold.

His brain was so clouded that he hardly took notice of the door being opened and his brothers arguing coming to a stop, his head finally jerking up when someone spoke their name.

#obey me #obey me mc #obey me mammon #obey me one master to rule them all #obey me lucifer #obey me belphegor #obey me angst #obey me angst fic #Just something a bit old #Is it good? Idk #If not I’ll just post other stuff to hide from my shame lolol #There’s still probably spelling mistakes

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ohmybueckers · 5 months ago

Text

Never Strangers: Chapter Two

Warnings: internalized homophobia, binge drinking, appearance of player!paige (As stated previously this is NOT a reflection of how I believe Paige acts in real life), infidelity, angst y’all i’m sorry

Word Count: 9.5k (i need help)

Authors Note: This is coming out a lil later than I intended … lets just say it was intentional to celebrate Paige’s return and not because I was traveling all day yesterday (literally proofreading this in the airport rn lol). This chapter is told entirely in flashbacks to explain why Maya is crashing out so many years later because oh boy… this one is rough for Paige I’m not gonna lie.

also!! I don’t have a tag list for this fic but if there is enough interest I can consider it!!

December 2019

It had been a full month since that night in the parking lot, and overall not much had changed. They still did all the same activities they always did: drives around town, homework together in their bedrooms, going to the recreation center so Paige could practice her three point shot while Maya studied for this years case. The only difference is that these hangouts would usually end the same way: Paige’s lips on Maya, fingers in brown tresses while Maya trailed hands down Paige’s toned back. They waited until they were in somewhere remotely private, of course (although Maya didn’t know if a car counted as private).

It always stopped at making out though, usually when both of them were too breathless to talk. Not that Maya necessarily needed more physically - she wasn’t even sure what being ready for that felt like - but she still felt an ache after each time the door shut, either after Paige left her place or when she reentered her home after being dropped off by the blonde. She would be perfectly happy just kissing Paige for the rest of her life if she could just get some answers on what was going on.

She finally got the courage one Wednesday night. Paige was sprawled on her bedroom floor, hardwood made more comfortable by a multicolor rug. Maya laid beside her, close enough to smell the notes of aloe in her hair from her post practice shower. Shutting her AP Chem book (she had an A in the class anyway, being unprepared for one quiz couldn’t hurt that bad), she spoke. “So, what are we doing?”

Paige’s head rose from Catcher in the Rye as if Maya’s voice had startled her, cocking her head a bit. “Hmm?”

Maya exhaled, sitting up from her current position so she had her knees pressed to her chest. Paige followed suit, still lying down but lifting her upper body with her forearms (Maya would be lying if her heart didn’t stop a bit at the sight). “I mean, you’re my best friend. We spend a ton of time together… we do other stuff.” Maya let out a hushed giggle, a sheepish smile spreading on Paige’s face which flushed at the comment. “I don’t do this with my other friends.”

“Not even Maddie from mock trial?” Paige joked, her eyebrows raised. Paige had met Maddie just the past weekend, after Maya brought her to Paige’s game against a school in Saint Paul. In their five minute post-game interaction, Paige had clocked Maddie as one of the straightest girls she had ever met: full Lululemon and Kendra Scott outfit, bleach blonde hair, and a J initial necklace for her baseball player boyfriend.

“Paige, I’m trying to be serious right now!” Maya exclaimed, her hands reaching her head to hide the smile that was emerging. This was the issue - Paige made it too easy for Maya to relax. So relaxed she almost missed the way her face fell slightly, her teeth meeting her bottom lip.

“No one else knows I’m … gay.” The last word came out as a whisper, perhaps out of fear that someone was right outside of Maya’s door even though Maya’s dad and his girlfriend had been out for hours. “I think they all kinda wonder and I know they’d be cool with it, but ion know if I’m ready to say it yet. I want people to know me as Paige the basketball player, not just for being gay. I got so much I want to accomplish.”

Maya nodded along, her mind running fast to try and digest what Paige was saying. She’s a fixer at heart, always trying to find a way to make people’s problems go away. This just didn’t seem like a situation she could fix. At the end of the day she was talking to Paige Bueckers. The aspect of having that big of a spotlight on you at all times is something she would probably never be able to fully understand.

“Is that okay?” Paige asked, mistaking Maya’s silence for something worse. Maya quickly nodded.

“Yeah, I'm just thinking,” she responded, thinking about her own identity and how it affected how she was approaching the situation. “I don’t know what I am yet. I don’t think I have to know to know that I like you.”

“I like you too.” Paige responded, the blush on her pale cheeks now a lot more prominent.

“Well I’d hope so, since we’ve made out like 50 times.” It was now Maya’s turn to joke, earning an eye roll and a gentle shove from Paige, although it was clear from the adoration in her eyes that her annoyance was nothing more than playful teasing. “So what now?”

“I think we should wait before we call each other girlfriends or anything,” Paige spoke carefully, grabbing Maya’s hand. “But that doesn’t mean I want to stop this. I want this.”

The way Paige was looking at her and feeling how her thumb was drawing circles on the back of her hand made her believe every word she said. There was just one question that was burning in the back of her mind, one she needed an answer to before she could agree. “Are you doing this with anyone else?”

The shake in Paige’s head was immediate, her stare determined. “No. absolutely not, I can’t even think of doing this with anyone that isn’t you. What if… what if we just do what couples do, but we just hold off on the whole labels and public part of it.”

“Like a secret?” Maya’s voice was hardly above a whisper, as though she was already practicing. Paige’s head dipped.

“Well, that makes it sound bad.” She muttered, her voice almost shameful. “I just think it’s best if it’s just for us.”

Maya took a beat, almost deep in thought. Then a hand that wasn’t occupied by Paige’s grip reached out, a finger lifting Paige’s head back up. The smile that was once on Paige’s face returned upon seeing Maya’s expression, a kind smile on as the brunette leaned in so her lips were next to the older girl’s ear. “Lucky for you, I’m good with secrets.”

⎯⎯

January 2020

“Don’t open your eyes yet.” Maya heard Paige remind her as the two of them trudged through the Minnesota snow, which had turned to a bunch of gross white slush. Maya really hoped Paige knew how to navigate after living here her whole life, because she had learned quickly how prone she was to slipping on the icy pavement and her shoe choices were not known for their traction.

“Well, you’re covering them, so I don’t think that really matters.” Maya responded, her hands shoved into the pockets of her tan trench coat for warmth. Finally, they came to a stop. Maya heard a car door open, followed by Paige’s glove covered hands being lifted from her eyes. And she gasped.

When Paige told her she was taking her on their first official date, she wasn’t sure exactly to expect. She was more than happy doing their usual casual hangout, but Paige was insistent she was going to do something big. And that she did, just two weeks after Christmas and three weeks after their conversation defining what they were.

Paige had somehow turned the back of her car into a full picnic spread, filled with both of their fast food favorites (including Culver’s cheese curds, a food that had become weirdly sentimental to them) as well as a couple of containers filled with her favorite fruits, all placed on top of a red and white checkered blanket.

Paige scratched the back of her neck, her face flushed (whether it was from being flustered or from the bitter Minnesota cold was a mystery).“I know it’s not like… super fancy or anything. I was gonna do an actual picnic and then I realized we live in Minnesota and it’s fucking cold and…”

Maya wrapped an arm around Paige’s torso, pulling her in for a hug and shutting her up from her fit of rambling.“Paige, it’s perfect.”

Paige melted into the hug, towering over her and yet still seeming uncharacteristically vulnerable in this moment. The two of them crawled into the car, Paige reaching in the front seat carefully as to not bump her head. “I also have these for you.”

Maya would have been perfectly happy with the current setup, but Paige was never one to settle for just good. Because here she sat, a bouquet of tulips in hand with Trader Joes plastic wrap still around them. “You told me these were your favorite once.”

Maya nodded, her smile so big she feared her cheeks would hurt later. She figured the idea of getting flowers from a romantic partner was something made up by Hallmark to sell their movies, having never seen her dad or any of her friends partners give their girls flowers. Clearly it was different when the person you’re seeing is another girl. “I love them.” Maya confirms, offering a peck to her pale cheek. “Never knew you were such a romantic.”

Maya leaned in to properly kiss the blonde while pulling the door shut. She had enough of the winter cold, much preferring to be warmed up by her girl. “You’re not worried about what my dad will say if I come home with flowers?”

“Just hide them in your tote bag before you get to your room.” Paige shrugged, gesturing to the bag Maya brought with: a souvenir from a bookstore in New York years ago. “You know, once we both open about us, Imma get you all the flowers in the world.”

“Oh really?” Maya inquired, already liking the sound of that. “Does that mean I’ll also be able to kiss you in public instead of the back of your car?”

Paige fakes a pout, gesturing to the very minimal space between their bodies before cupping the younger girl’s face. “Are you saying you don’t want this?”

Maya scoffs. “I never said that,” she says in a whisper, evoking a small hum of approval from the blonde as she pulls her in by her shirt to kiss her.

Maya is pretty sure at this point that she loves Paige, but she knew better than to say it. She could worry about that later. For now she was content lying in the backseat with Paige, unbothered by how cramped this setup actually was in reality. She found when it was just the two of them, nothing else seemed to matter that much.

⎯⎯

“You’ve found yours already?”

The two girls sat side by side on Paige’s bed, one arm of Paige’s around the smaller girl’s shoulders and the other scrolling her own laptop. They were engaging in one of Paige’s least favorite activities: shopping. Correction: she liked shopping typically. She hated dress shopping.

Perhaps one of the better parts of switching cities, and therefore switching schools, is that Maya now went to a school that allowed both juniors and seniors to go to prom. Though Maya typically leaned towards a more simple style, gravitating towards simple jeans and sweaters, she always looked forward to the opportunity to dress up in a full fancy gown. And here was her dress: a deep plum shade, fitted at the top and flowy at the bottom, with just enough tulle to feel like a prom dress without going overboard. “I think it’s pretty! I like the purple.”

“Mmmm, me too. You’ll look so good in that.” Paige hummed in agreement, leaning in to peck her not-quite-girlfriend’s cheek. “I’m just not really drawn to any of these.” She gestured to her own screen, which featured various dresses from Windsor.

Maya laughed while resisting the urge to remind Paige that she has looked wildly uncomfortable in every situation she’s been made to wear a dress and that there were alternatives. Perhaps these thoughts were just clouded by Maya’s undeniable urge to see Paige in a suit.

“It’s not until May. You’ve got time.” Maya decided to drop the topic altogether. They both heard the rushing of water in the pipes in the house, likely from Paige’s dad and stepmom getting ready for bed in the bathroom downstairs. Suddenly remembering that accidentally falling asleep in contacts would not be a smart idea, Maya wove herself out from under Paige’s grasp and walked to where her overnight bag sat on Paige’s cluttered desk. “I still cannot believe your dad let me sleep over the night before your game.”

Paige shrugged “Game’s not til one, I got time. Besides, I told him you’re my good luck charm.” The last comment prompted a sharp turn of the head from Maya, her eyes wide and eyebrows raised. “What?”

“Paige, I love you, but that’s the gayest shit I think you could have said to him.” Maya giggles, mindful enough to keep her voice low. It doesn’t take a super mindful person to see how Paige stopped at this statement, staring at the other girl with wide eyes. Confused, Maya tries to recount what she could have done to spark this reaction. All I said was…

“Oh. Um…”

The room was quiet enough that both girls could hear each others breath clear as day. Hell, Maya was pretty sure if it were summer she would be able to hear the cicadas from outside all the way from here. This wasn’t how she pictured saying it: her fantasies usually saw her and Paige dating for at least two months before they said. Even if she felt it now. Even if she’s pretty sure she’s felt this even before they kissed for the first time.

“Say it again.”

Her voice broke through the silence, powerful enough to lift Maya’s head from where it had dipped. Paige was sat up, her arms pushing her to a standing position. “Say what again?” Maya asked, her voice wavering as she watched Paige step closer with an unreadable expression.

“The first part.” Another step closer.

“Paige, lets just drop it.” Maya begged, feeling her eyes begin to water a bit with embarrassment. Naturally this whole thing had to come to an end at some point - she wasn’t lovesick enough to believe that a high school fling would last forever. She just wished it wouldn’t be this soon, all because of a slip of tongue.

“Please.” Paige’s voice was hushed, yet firm as she planted herself right in front of the other girl, her height towering over. The lack of space made Maya feel short of breath - being near Paige had that effect on her. Especially when she looked at her the way she was now, as if she was hungry for every word she spoke.

“I love you.” It comes out more as a question, even though it was one of the things Maya was most sure of in that moment. She watched Paige’s expression, which did not seem nearly as scared as she had been envisioning. “I didn’t even know I was saying it, you don’t have to say it back-”

The end of the sentence was soon lost to a fierce kiss, Paige grabbing both sides of her face as if she could slip away at any moment, yet still gentle as though Maya was the most precious thing on this earth. Through her shock, Maya’s reflexes acted quick enough to place a hand on Paige’s chest, positioning herself on the tips of her toes to give Paige easier access. Paige broke the kiss, still close enough that Maya could feel every breath as the other girl put their foreheads together.

“I love you.” Paige said softly, a shy smile on her lips. Her thumb moved to wipe the one tear that had escaped Maya’s eyes away, before kissing where it once was. “I love you, I love you, I love you,” she repeated, kissing a new area of her face after each affirmation before returning back to her lips.

⎯⎯

February 2020

Maya had been given the opportunity to watch Paige play basketball numerous times before, but there was something especially special about watching her play at her school. Perhaps it made her a traitor, but she loved cheering her girl on with the Bueckers family from the bleachers, watching the student section chant about how “overrated” she is (as if the game was even close).

Hopkins secured a near 30 point win, an event well worthy of celebration. Maya stood back as Paige made her way out of the locker room, allowing her to greet and hug them before turning to her. Paige after a good game was one of Maya’s favorite versions of her; there was something about the tired yet confident grin on her face as she made strides towards her, wrapping her in a big hug.

“Great job P,” Maya’s compliment was muffled by her position against Paige’s chest. They pulled away, very aware of the blonde’s family nearby, but Paige’s smile was unmistakably smitten. Thankfully, her dad and stepmom seemed to be fairly oblivious, and if they weren’t they didn’t show it.

“Paige, that last assist was incredible.” A voice appeared from behind them, followed by the strong scent of vanilla perfume mixed with Old Spice deodorant. A body weaved themselves between the two girls, and Maya immediately knew who it was: Paige’s teammate Jaz.

Jaz was beautiful, she couldn’t deny it. Long, impossibly silky black hair was put up in a ponytail that looked messy enough to appear effortless, but not sloppy. Her Hopkins jersey had been replaced by baggy gray sweats and a red tank that paired well with her warm skin. She would probably appreciate this beauty a lot more if it wasn’t incredibly obvious that Jaz was obsessed with Paige, her efforts to flirt obvious to everyone except the subject of Jaz’s adoration.

“Thank you Jaz. You did a great job too,” Paige grinned back, her compliment as general as possible. Though Jaz was definitely not a bad player typically, her shot was most certainly off in this game (not that Maya was paying attention to that or anything). Still, the other girl beamed.

“Are you going with the team to Chik-fil-a?” She asked, her hand grazing Paige’s back. “I got my car with me, I can give you a ride if you need?”

Good God, she couldn’t be more obvious if she tried, Maya thought as she watched Paige shake her head and stepped slightly to the side, away from her touch.“I think I’m going with my family and Maya out to dinner,” At the mention of her name, Paige gestured towards the shorter girl prompting Jaz to turn around. “Jaz, this is my friend Maya.”

That was maybe the first time Maya had been remotely bothered by being referred to as Paige’s friend, even if that’s technically what they still were. It felt like fuel for Jaz, as if Paige was free to be hit on.

Jaz looked at Maya as if she had just appeared and hadn’t been standing here this entire time. One perfectly shaped eyebrow quirked up, her hand reaching out to touch Maya’s shoulder. “It’s so nice to meet you! You are stunning! Paige, why did you never tell me your friend was so pretty!”

Maya smiled at the compliment, although something in her tone felt like it wasn’t entirely genuine. Maya convinced herself that she was just being bitter, swallowing her ill feelings and mustering a perky, “Thank you, you played great.”

Jaz gave a closed lipped smile in return before returning to Paige. “Well I gotta go, but I’ll see you in practice tomorrow right?”

It was only when the two of them began their dark and cold walk to the senior parking lot that Maya brought it up. “She was totally flirting with you.” The brunette stated, her tone matter-of-fact and somewhat teasing.

“What, Jaz?” Paige appeared shocked, an emotion that Maya found incredibly hard to believe considering the performance the girl just put on. “Nah, ion think so.”

“That was incredible, Paige. You’re so great.” Maya gushed in an airy voice. Sure, it sounded nothing like Jaz, but it was fun. “It’s fine, I just think it’s funny.”

Paige smirked, cocking her head slightly. “Really? You sound a little jealous.”

“Me? No way.” Maya said. She never considered herself the jealous type - she still wouldn’t, despite the small twinge of annoyance seeing Jaz constantly hit on Paige. It’s not like it was the other girl’s fault - Paige appears to be completely available. “Hey, I would do the same thing if I were her.”

“You did.” Paige reminded, scanning the parking lot quickly to ensure it had cleared out as much as she believed before wrapping an arm around the other girl and leaning close enough for only the two of them to hear. “And for the record, you have absolutely nothing to worry about. I’m kinda crazy about you, sweet girl.”

Maya felt her face get hot. Deep down, she knew that Paige was hers. She was not the jealous type.

At least that’s what she told herself over and over on the way to the car and to the restaurant.

⎯⎯

Post game meals with Paige were always celebratory - Hopkins did have an undefeated season after all. While Paige didn’t celebrate with her family and Maya after every game, she did often enough for Maya to expect the blonde to be in good spirits. Until one game in mid February.

“Coach tore into me about missing some rebounds.” Paige grumbled, her posture slouched in the Chipotle booth as she picked at her burrito bowl. “Went on and on about how that won’t go too well for me at UConn.”

Maybe it’s because Maya didn’t fully understand basketball, but this was absurd to her. I mean, Hopkins still won - the game was just a little closer than any of them would have liked. However, she knew she would never completely understand. She knew all there was to say was “I’m sorry.”

“No, she’s right,” Paige muttered, eyes not meeting Maya’s kind ones.

“It was one rough game, P. You still won. You just gotta do what you’ve always done - learn from your mistakes and grow,” her dad chimed in from his spot next to Maya. Drew, Paige’s little brother, was seemingly too interested in his quesadilla to care about this discussion.

“I just gotta be better.” Paige shook her head, her eyes fueled with intensity.

“You’ve always bounced back, P. You got this.” Maya encouraged, hoping that Paige had reached a point of acceptance with the day’s events.

Little did she know what would follow.

March 2020

It only took two days after that game for Paige to begin forgetting texts. Maya didn’t think too much of it at first, chalking it up to her basketball practices ramping up as the team prepared for the State Tournament. A slightly longer response time was no issue worth sweating over.

But then Paige stopped reaching out how she usually did. She no longer asked Maya to run stupid errands with her, even if that was the only time she had in a days stretch to see her. And every time Maya would ask if she could watch Paige shoot, or if they could do homework together, it was met with some form of an excuse.

“Yeah, I’ve just been a little busier lately, that’s all.”

Maya sighed as Paige gave an excuse over their phone call that she had heard too many times at this point. A month ago, she could have never pictured Paige declining plans with her without offering an alternate time. Now, Maya felt like a pathetic fangirl with the way she always had to reach out to Paige, trying to find cracks in her schedule. Sure, she knew that Paige had a state championship to prepare for, but basketball had never completely stopped the two of them from seeing each other before. It had been nearly two weeks since she had seen even a glimpse of the blonde, and she felt like she was going crazy trying to decide if she was just being overly clingy or if her suspicions were correct.

“You’d tell me if something was wrong, right?” Maya asked, searching desperately for any semblance of reassurance. She heard Paige sigh through the phone, a sound that tightened the knot that had been woven in her stomach for days now.

“Nothing is wrong.” Paige replied, her tone not entirely convincing, before adding, “How about I take you to the movies on Sunday night?”

Ok, now we’re getting somewhere, Maya thought. “Ok yeah, I’d like that. Pick me up at 5?”

“Of course.” Maya swore she could hear a small smile. “I gotta go, but I’ll text you.”

The call dropped, Maya staring at the lock screen on her phone: A collage of recent photos: some included friends from home, some included family (including one photo of her and her parents together that she could never bring herself to delete). Many of them included Paige, a collection of candid shots of the basketball star as well as photos Bob Bueckers had taken post games. She stared at the way Paige leaned towards her, their bodies fitting together like a puzzle piece, a small sign to them that they belonged to each other even if nobody else knew it. A small rush of comfort flooded her system as she was reminded that this Paige, the one in the photos, would never dream of hurting her.

⎯⎯

Maya stood on the sidewalk for five minutes before the text came.

Paige: sum teammates wanted to run some drills tonight to prep for this weeks game. i gotta miss tonight. so sorry.

Maya wanted nothing more than to throw her phone on the freezing cold asphalt and scream. In her eye she had every right to, because come on. She trusted the other girl wouldn’t dare to cancel plans like this, especially ten minutes after they were supposed to begin in the first place.

But Maya felt as though there was no point in cursing the blonde out. It was basketball, after all. Loving Paige Bueckers was knowing that her love of basketball would often, if not always, have to come first. Maya was fine with it. She had to be. At least according to the “No worries! Have a good practice!” text she sent back. Though she tried her best to come off cool and collected to the blonde, inside she felt as though there was something behind the scenes, and that she was being made the fool.

⎯⎯

She finally saw Paige again on Thursday night, the basketball player coming over to do some homework together. As Maya’s dad and his girlfriend were out of the house, this then evolved to them sitting in the living room, a news story about the coronavirus spreading across the United States on in the background. Paige paid it no mind, finding comfort in TikTok instead of the girl right next to her on the couch. Though the blonde offered her a couple of chaste kisses, she had still seemed distant. It was killing Maya.

“Can’t listen to that anymore.” Maya sighs, shutting off the TV altogether after a newscaster predicts that the incoming “two week quarantine” would not end that quickly. Paige doesn’t move, still staring at her phone. Maya observed her, wishing the small gap between them didn’t seem so massive in that moment. “I heard that Ella is throwing a party tomorrow night. Some sort of weird, lets see each other one more time before covid destroys our lives party. Are you going?”

Truthfully, Maya hated big high school parties, feeling as though they never matched up to expectations. Besides, they now remind her of the weeks following her parents separation, where she would go out and get blackout drunk with her friends around Boston. These were times she wished to forget.

However, she knew that Paige enjoyed them when they fit around her basketball obligations. So when Ella, a girl at Maya’s school with many connections to Hopkins students, announced she was hosting Maya jumped at the opportunity to mention it to the other girl. Surely she wouldn’t turn it down, not after the state championship got cancelled.

“I think I’m missing it.” Paige looked up, her eyes seemingly too engrossed in the art on Maya’s wall (the same art they’ve had up since they moved in almost a year ago) to make eye contact with the other girl. “Dad’s too worried about me going out with everything going on and basketball on the line, so…”

Maya nods, although her heart twinges a little bit with an emotion she struggles to identify. Logically, this explanation made sense. However, with the events of the past month, Maya was just so tired of even trying to change Paige’s mind at this point. “Makes sense.” She muttered, the two of them going back to their respective tasks. They were together physically, but Maya had never felt so far apart from her.

⎯⎯

Bodies filled the basement of Ella’s basement slowly but surely, the overhead lights allowing purple LED lights to take it’s place illuminating the room. Maya stood close to the bar area, sipping slowly on a mango white claw. Judging by the way she winced after each sip, this was not her typical drink of choice. However, Maddie had insisted she stop taking shots of cheap liquor after throwing back three within 10 minutes less than thirty minutes ago. “I love you Maya, but I do not want to have to drag your ass back home if you black out,” Maddie said sternly as she handed her the white claw.

Now, as Maya still had a fourth of her drink left, she was thankful for the interference. Spending the next two weeks stuck in the house already seemed nightmarish enough, she couldn’t imagine how the first day would go with a hangover. At least she was still drinking something - perhaps it wasn’t the healthiest coping mechanism, but she felt as though the alcohol was her one relief from the pain Paige was putting her through. Though Maya stood by her dislike of house parties, she was glad to attend this one.

That is until the side door across the room opened once more. Maya tried to listen to the story Maddie was telling her about how her boyfriend’s friends sucked as some song she had definitely heard on Tiktok blared through the speakers, but her other senses disappeared as soon as she saw a ponytail of blonde hair, followed by an all-too-familiar deep voice shouting, “Alright, who’s ready to get fucked up!”

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” Maya muttered.

It’s actually comical how every time Paige walked in a room every set of eyes seemed to be immediately drawn to hers, including Maya’s. She stood near the door, dressed in a hoodie and jeans and holding a red solo close to her. She laughed along with one of her teammates as one of them cracked a joke, and Maya couldn’t help but grip her White Claw when she realized that Jaz was right next to her, looking at her instead of the person who actually made the joke.

Maddie, confused as to why her friend stopped listening to her story, followed her eyes to the crowd of basketball players. “Paige? Didn’t you say she wasn’t coming.”

Maya’s lips pursed. “She wasn’t. I guess she changed her mind.” She would never in a million years tell Maddie the truth of why she was angry with Paige right now, no matter how bad she wanted to. If it meant not outing Paige, she was fine simmering in her rage alone.

The weight of two sets of eyes seemed to reach the blonde, because she turned towards the bar before either one could look away. Her eyes met Maya’s quickly, her previous drunken smile gone and a flash of something else on her face immediately - perhaps guilt? Maya broke the staring competition first, setting her drink down and reaching for her purse on the counter as she noted Paige walking towards her out of the corner of her eye. Shit.

“I just need a minute.” She hastily called out to Maddie, already making a beeline towards the stairs in search of a quieter place to collect herself. She ignores the calls from the host Ella and her own circle of friends as they tell her to stay downstairs, them shutting up on their own as they watch her pass by not with a look of nausea, but with her face flushed and nose scrunched as she holds back tears with all the strength in her. Finally, she finds a bathroom, pulling the door shut before allowing herself to fall apart.

The first tear drops, hot and heavy on her arm. Her reflection in the mirror looks so helpless, like a deer that has been shot. She hates it, having watched her friends back home go through the same thing and telling herself she would never act like that over someone. But that was before the divorce. That was before the move. That was before Paige.

Wanting to avoid wiping her eyes in fear of smearing her mascara, she leaned her head down over the porcelain white sink, her arms supporting her as she allowed the tears to continue falling one by one. She didn’t understand why Paige would lie about this. If she couldn’t stand being around her at a crowded party with her teammates, it spoke volumes on where they stood when it was just the two of them.

A sharp knock at the door interrupted her train of thought, her head lifting. “I’m fine, Maddie.”

“It’s Paige, open up.”

Maya scoffed hearing the determination in Paige’s voice, as if Maya owed her anything. “So funny how your dad changed his mind so fast.”

“Maya, please.” Paige’s volume raised slightly, just a little more desperate. And as much as Maya wanted to ignore Paige like the blonde had for the past few weeks, a part of her wanted an explanation too much to be petty. She gripped the handle, throwing it open. She was greeted by Paige standing there, hands shoved in the pockets of her black joggers. She took one glance at Maya’s bloodshot eyes, tired of fighting the tears pricking at them, and barged into the way too small bathroom, shutting the door behind them.

“What the fuck, Paige.” Maya spewed, her gaze intense. Of course, this would be the exact moment she began to feel the effects of the shots she had taken earlier in the night. At least there was a toilet right behind her if she needed to throw up, which she thought was a real possibility in that moment, just not from alcohol.

Paige looks away, eyes focusing on the white shower curtain that appeared yellow in the poor bathroom lighting. “I know this looks bad…”

“Looks bad?” Maya laughed, her eyes wide. She knew she looked fucking manic, and she really couldn’t bring herself to care. “You lied to me, Paige. I think you’ve been lying to me for a while. Do you think I haven’t noticed how you’ve been pulling away from me?”

Paige fidgeted with the bottom of her black hoodie. “I just had so much going on with basketball, and other people aren’t making it easy on me. I told you, I wanted to make a name for myself before I came out, and then you told me you loved me.”

The last sentence made the brunettes heart drop, her feigned amused expression replaced by something much darker. “No,” Maya’s voice was hardly above a hoarse whisper, the words replaying in her mind. As if all of this was her fault, just because she had the audacity to fall in love. “You are not turning this on me right now.”

Paige’s hand made a fist as her eyes shut for a moment, appearing to hold back her frustration before making actual eye contact for the first time in their conversation. “Everything just started feeling so serious and I got scared. I’m scared.”

Maya heard the way her voice broke at the last two words, and in any other situation she would have done anything to comfort her. A part of her still wanted to.“You said it back, I said you didn’t have to.”

“I wanted to.” Paige clarified, though her previous eye contact wavered. “Everything is just a lot right now, and I’m worried I’ll never be able to give you what you need.”

“I’m not asking you to make me your girlfriend right now, Paige.” Maya forced herself to quiet down, afraid that Ella and her friends could be within earshot of the bathroom and not trusting the quality of her walls enough. “I’m asking you to talk to me, to not cancel on me last minute and make up some bullshit excuse.”

“It was not bullshit.” Now it’s Paige’s turn to raise her voice, something she had never done to her before. She threw her hands in the air, and they made their way to the top of her head. “You were the one who’s been weird about us being private, acting like it’s not enough.”

“Because you haven’t been treating us like we’re private, Paige. You’ve been treating us like a secret.”

“You said you were good with secrets.” Paige defended, though unless Maya was just seeing what she wanted to see there was a sliver of guilt that crossed her expression as well.

“Not when I become one!” Maya couldn’t help but get flashbacks to their first conversation about labels - at the time, exclusive friends with benefits seemed like a great idea. Now? Not so much. “I get if you don’t want people to know about us, but lately its like you don’t even want people to know we’re friends.”

“That’s not true!”

“Then why can’t we hang out like we used to?” Paige’s mouth opened, but no noise came out. She had finally made the Paige Bueckers speechless, just not in the way she hoped.

“I still want you, I promise.” Paige answered, the actual question left ignored. It felt like every bit of patience Maya had for Paige had been chipped away by this conversation, and this sentence was the final blow.

“You should act like it then.” Everything in the room, from the glare of the lights to the presence of the girl in front of her, was suddenly too much, and she felt herself fall so her back was supported by the sink, her arms supporting her. “Can you please just give me some space right now?”

“Maya, please can I just…” There were tears beginning to form in Paige’s eyes, tears Maya couldn’t see from where her eyes were trained on the tile beneath them.

“Just go.” Maya’s voice was flat, a low edge to it as she willed the room to stop spinning. From the haze, she heard a sigh, felt a body move past her, and felt the draft as the bathroom door opened and shut immediately after.

It was the longest conversation her and Paige had in over a week, and yet she had never felt like she knew her less.

Her short trip to the bathroom ended up lasting about 10 more minutes after Paige left as she tried to regulate her breathing. She hated herself for how her brain seemed to go back to fixating on the way Paige sounded when she said “I still want you”, even though her actions had made her feel the opposite.

She was tired, and being tired meant being delusional. She needed to go back home and sleep. Or she needed more alcohol. One of the two. After fixing her makeup the best to her ability with only water, she opened the door, greeted with the faint sound of Drake from the basement. However, in her hurry to get out of the bathroom, she found herself going down the wrong end of the hallway, towards the master bedroom which Ella announced earlier was firmly off limits instead of the set of stairs.

She was more than willing to correct her mistake upon realizing until she heard a giggle, followed by a familiar sickly sweet voice say, “Paige, look at me.”

At this point the name Paige was like a magnet to Maya, always drawing her attention no matter what, although her heart dropped at the way it came out of the girl’s mouth. Against her better judgement, she took a step towards the door, which was cracked so it was half open. She had to crane her head to see the full picture, but the second she did she sincerely wished she had just turned around.

Paige and Jaz sat on one side of the bed, backs turned so she could only make out some movements. If Jaz was already beautiful when sweaty and tired after a game, she was absolutely radiant now - her skin glistened under a silver sparkly top, her jeans flattering her tall frame perfectly even when sitting.

Jaz wore her dark hair down, yet Maya could still see how her eyes closed partially in bliss as she leaned in closer and closer to Paige’s face like a prey that just caught her target, brushing a hair that escaped her ponytail out of her face and purring, “I’ve been wanting this for a long time. You know I have.”

Maya felt the whole world stop. She couldn’t think about much, all she knew was she had to go.

Her head pounded as she raced back down the hallway away from the bedroom, no longer attempting to hold back the tears that had been threatening her. She wasn’t quite sure if it was from the alcohol or her crying, but she knew that she needed to get out of that house now.

Scanning the basement through watery eyes, she quickly found Maddie, whose planned angry words about how Maya abandoned her were thrown away as she saw the poor girl. Pulling her by the arm, Maddie weaved her way through (perks of having tall friends), Maya stumbling behind. She could feel the bass of the music course through her body, yet the lyrics fell on deaf ears. All she could focus on were broken promises, promises that clearly should have never been made.

She would forever owe Maddie after this night. She owed her for ordering them an Uber, ushering her in as they escaped the brutality of Minnesota winter and hurt feelings. She especially owed her for not asking questions, simply looking at her with a look of concern, yet understanding. Maddie may be the straightest person she’s ever met, but the girl wasn’t stupid.

On the other hand Maya, despite her GPA and PSAT score to prove the contrary, had never felt more idiotic in her life. She replayed every chapter of her and Paige, trying to discover when and how she had missed the signs that Paige was chasing Jaz while being with her.

Her phone buzzed five times in rapid succession, each one bringing a new pulse to her head. Lowering her brightness, she checked.

Paige: where did you go

Paige: please can we just talk

Paige: i fucked up so bad

Paige: i don’t want this to be the end of us

Paige: i love you so much Maya

She choked back a sob as she read the last message, old photos of her and Paige still staring at her as she read the texts piled on her lockscreen. It felt like they were taunting her, a harsh reminder of what she came so close to having. She wanted to believe Paige when she said she loved her, she really did. But at this point, she had run out of excuses for her. She typed back a simple, Saw you with Jaz.

Paige: what did you see

The Uber stopped outside Maya’s house, giving her time to think of a reply as she thanked the driver and stepped towards her front door, thankful that her dad seemed to be asleep and that she wouldn’t have to answer any questions for now.

It was only after she somehow made her way to her bed, not bothering to take off her clothes for the night (that was a tomorrow problem), that she typed out, Enough to know that I really don’t want to see you, and pressed send.

And for the first time since Maya had met Paige, that statement was true.

⎯⎯

April 2020

Maya found it funny how the usually wholesome streets of the Minneapolis suburbs could feel so eerie. It had been two weeks into quarantine (which now had no end in sight), and the city had quickly fallen into some sort of routine in the chaos - online school during the day, DIY projects and Netflix at night, with some cautious walks sprinkled in. Now it was approaching 6:30pm, the sun preparing to set, and Maya was alone as she approached the tall figure waiting for her at the park.

“I can’t stay long. It took me forever to convince my dad to let me leave in the first place.”

Paige perked at the sound of her, turning around to face the girl. Her hair was lightly tossed by the wind as she took one careful step towards the girl, as if she were a deer and not someone who she used to sing love songs in the car with.

“I just need enough time to explain.” Paige began, staring at Maya for permission to begin speaking. Maya gave this to her in the form of a gentle nod. “I get why you’re upset. I would be upset too. What you saw on Friday … that wasn’t as bad as it looked. Jaz saw me leave the bathroom, and she said I looked upset. So she pulled me into that bedroom and um… she knows about us. I guess we weren’t that subtle.” Paige laughs at the end, though it’s clear to Maya that she finds nothing about what she said funny.

“Okay.” Maya says, “So how did you go from that to that?”

“I told her what I did and um…” Paige inhales, looking up towards the sky for a moment where a bird is soaring above her, “She started saying that maybe I should be with someone who understands the pressure of basketball better.”

Ouch.

“And then she said that she understood me and all this stuff. And then she leaned in, and um, I’m pretty sure that’s what you saw. But I need you to believe me when I say nothing else happened. I couldn’t do it, couldn’t kiss her knowing what I feel for you.”

In Maya’s heart, she knew that Paige had to at least be telling some version of the truth. For the past couple of weeks, her phone had received probably around 15 different texts from the other girl, practically begging Maya to say anything to her, even if it meant getting cussed out again. Maya finally decided that it was more worth it to get some form of closure than to ignore Paige and remain unaware of why she would do this all to her. Paige immediately agreed when she suggested they meet at a park only a few blocks down from Maya’s place, even if it meant Paige had to drive to the confrontation.

Maya’s firm stance against Paige faltered especially after seeing the look in her blue eyes, that wide eyed look as if she was the only thing she cared about seeing. But then she remembered that night, her converse clad feet planted on the hardwood as she watched Jaz lean closer with a determined look, and she remembered how she couldn’t see Paige’s face. For all she knew, Paige had given the same look of adoration to the other girl as well.

“I want to believe you,” Maya’s voice is soft, providing some relief to the tension in Paige’s face. “But I just can’t right now. Not when you lied to me about going to that party in the first place.”

Paige’s head dipped, her voice dripping with guilt as she spoke, “I fucked up, I know, but I swear that wasn’t the reason.”

“Then what was it?” Maya asks, a surprising level of calmness in her voice. Paige failed to respond, her upper lip biting down as her eyes began to water slightly. “I thought that as your best friend, you would care about me enough to tell me if you wanted to stop this.”

“Maya, I never wanted to end this.” Paige interjects, stepping closer.

“I didn’t either. I still don’t.” Maya replies, her volume higher now. She takes a deep breath, taking a moment to shut her eyes to prevent her emotions from overcoming her. “But maybe now I have to.”

The look in Paige’s eyes would come to haunt Maya for years down the line: one of anguish, the sting in her eyes escalating rapidly. “What?” Paige’s voice was hoarse, before escalating in desperation, her hand reaching for the younger girls, “Maya, please don’t do this.”

Maya shoved her hands in her pockets. “You’re going off to UConn next year, and I’ll still be here. and I don’t know if I trust you enough to not do something while you’re there.”

Paige blinked a few times, her expression confused, then angry, appearing not unlike she did when arguing with the referees at her games. “Maya, I didn’t do anything with her. I didn’t do anything wrong. You kinda need to be in a relationship in the first place to cheat.”

The last sentence hit like a blow to the chest, Maya taking a step back as if she had been physically shoved by the venom in Paige’s tone. Any form of reassurance they had given each other, all of the promises that it was just them, came back to taunt in her. Because what was so real to Maya was clearly just fun for Paige. Guilt immediately rushed back through Paige’s expression, her eyes horrified at what she just said, but it was too late.

“Nice to know this was all nothing for you,” Maya’s voice was cool as she nodded sarcastically, beginning to walk backwards in the direction of her house. Her eyes never left Paige, even as the blonde girl continued stepping forward to follow her.

“Maya, I didn’t mean that.”

“But you said it.” Maya’s voice remained calm. Inside she was fuming, but she found that when she spoke she no longer had the same angry energy she did that night at the party. If she’s going to try to make me feel like shit, so will I, Maya decided bitterly. “I found out my dad cheated on my mom that weekend. The day after the party”

Another beat of silence. “What?” Maya scanned Paige’s face, watching her defensiveness mold into horror. Upon further inspection, Maya noted how Paige’s eyes looked especially tired, dark circles forming like clouds underneath them. “Maya, what are you-.”

“I called my mom because I was stressed about this whole COVID thing, was worried about my trip in April being cancelled. I asked her to visit me in Minnesota, and she said she couldn’t, and she wouldn’t tell me why until I begged.” Maya stared off, thinking about the way her mother, who she had never seen cry despite encouraging her daughter to embrace her emotions, had sounded so wounded as she explained why the divorce happened. It left an impossibly bitter taste on her tongue. “My dad started seeing his girlfriend two months before they broke up. She never told me until now to protect him. I don’t know if she ever would have.”

“I’m so sorry, Maya.” Paige’s voice cracked, speaking in a hushed voice as if speaking any louder would shatter the other girl. “Ion know what to say.”

Maya couldn’t help but roll her eyes, because of course she didn’t know what to say. “So I’m sorry if what you did to me is a little fresh right now.”

“Wait.” Paige called as Maya backed up, her regret evident.

“Can you please give me some space, Paige?” Maya is ashamed at how her voice breaks, her effort to remain strong through this conversation now all for nothing. Faking a cough, she muttered, “I think you’ve hurt me enough.”

She began to walk away when she heard her speak again. “I’m going to Maryland next week,” Paige said, her tone matter of fact. “Quarantining with Azzi for a bit.”

Paige had spoken about Azzi Fudd to Maya before, explaining just how similar they were and telling her that “Azzi will love you”, as if it was a given that the two would meet. She’s unsure if Paige would make such a statement at the moment. She knew the two of them were close, but quarantining together? Across the state?

“For how long?” Maya asked.

“It’s going to be at least a couple of weeks, maybe a month? I’m not sure.” A month? It’s not like she particularly wanted to see Paige right now, and there’s no reason Paige would go out of her way to tell her, but still. To hear Paige say it so matter of fact after everything they went through, as if she was the last to know, stung a bit in a way she was not anticipating. “I want to see you before I leave for UConn.”

Paige looked at her as if she wanted to ask if she wanted that too, but was too afraid of the answer. In a way, this reminded Maya of the first night they met; both unsure of how to talk to each other, exchanging stiff words and stares at the dinner table instead. Except now everything had changed.

With a small smile, Maya shrugged, “Anything’s possible.”

The buzz of her phone in her hand took her out of the moment, a reminder from her dad that they agreed on her being home by 7 (as if all COVID germs died after sundown). She shivered, her body numb not by the temperature but the prospect of what she was about to do. She took one last look at Paige; the way her blue UConn long sleeve paired with her blonde hair, her lanky figure that one fit perfectly with her shorter one, and those damn eyes.

“My dad says I need to get back home. Thank you for meeting me here. I, um, I hope you have a safe trip.”

She turned her back quick enough so that Paige couldn’t see the tears beginning to pour, beginning the 10 minute walk back to her home surrounded by the whistle of the wind and the setting sun. Something about it felt so final, like this would be the last time she would see Paige for a long, long while. Maybe ever.

⎯⎯

Paige stayed in Maryland for three months. Maya hadn’t even known she returned to the suburbs until she was already gone, posting stories from her first week at UConn. Not a text. Not a single word. The younger girl decided to mute Paige’s posts and stories at the end of the year, realizing that nothing good could come out of seeing the other girl supposedly live her best life at her dream school while she was stuck at home. Maybe Paige would reach out on breaks, and then Maya could reassess the situation.

She didn’t.

Quarantine was rough on her already, her house in suburbia not nearly as picture perfect as it seemed. She could barely look at her dad, using any excuse to leave dinners early or get out of “family activities” altogether (she refused to acknowledge Jenn as a part of her family). She hated how this curse put on women in her family kept following her. It was in the way she was now quarantined with her fathers affair partner, the same one he had been dropping hints about wanting to marry. It was in the way her mother pleaded with her on the phone to please not let this affect her relationship with her father, though how could it not?

The knife was dug deeper when she passed the prom dress collecting dust in her closet, remembering cheek kisses and hands brushing her shoulder like she was still in Paige’s bed buying it with her. When she began making grocery runs again, she had to make an effort to avoid glancing at the wall of flowers, as doing so would cause her eyes to prick with tears. Hell, she even had to remove multiple songs from her playlists, because of course they had to share the same taste. Songs that she had loved for years were now practically unlistenable.

Everything was a reminder of how she had done everything right, and yet she was somehow still not enough. Maybe she never would be.

#paige bueckers #uconn women’s basketball #paige bueckers fic #paige bueckers angst #paige bueckers fluff

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kithtaehyung · 1 year ago

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back to december (teaser) (m) | ksj

title: back to december (teaser) pairing: brother's best friend!seokjin x reader(f) rating/genre: m (18+) ; angst , fluff , smut ; brother’s best friend au, wedding au, second chance au summary: ever since you left town to pursue your dreams, life has fast forwarded into one big blur. so when you hit pause to attend your brother’s wedding exactly three years later, your brain instinctively resets and rewinds. because you have to spend it with the very person that had been there at the start. the one person you regret leaving behind. note: this originally started as a one-shot for @raplinesmoon for the maui relief fundraiser, but turned into something more. since it also fit into the mold of this holiday collab, here we are! note 2: this is part of the jingle all the way collaboration with @kpopfanfictrash, @leahsfavefics, @cybrsan, @yoonia, and @sugaurora! all the holiday collab fics have the phrase “the holidays aren’t so bad with you around.” warnings: [explicit warnings to be posted on drop day!] language, alcohol, angst lol, time switches/flashbacks, seokjin being the sweetest until he’s not >:)), reader being damn cool, overthinking, bbf!jin needs his own warning i am warning y’all now, horribly great jokes, winter themes, relationship failures, stress/anxiety, jin being jin, did i say angst?, falling into cold water, a lot of gd yearning mood: back to december - taylor swift, halley's comet - billie eilish, universe/snowing in la - thuy teaser word count: 1.2k | est. word count: uhhh 20k+ lol wanna be on the taglist? add yourself here! est. drop date: january 2024

It all started with an accident in winter.

Ever the gracious hosts, your family decided to throw a cookout for your brother’s birthday, inviting everyone in the neighborhood and its outskirts to join in celebration. While your brother was initially opposed to being outside in the frost, word got around that his crush of three years running would be present, which suddenly warmed him right up to the whole idea.

Typical.

You were also initially opposed—having to sit through the festivities while your older sibling hogged all the attention—until you discovered your own downfall was attending, too.

Because of course he would.

And if he was coming, you were set on making your naive self presentable and noticeable, and you still consider the day of the party to be the best you’ve ever carried yourself. You were confident, you were radiant.

Until you got bumped into the backyard pool.

You don’t even recall who knocked you in. All you remember was water rushing into your vision, and paddling through outright shame and embarrassment when you shakily swam your freezing bones to the ledge. Everyone saw you: your friends, your family, your brother’s older circle and acquaintances. In your adolescence, it was the literal worst thing to have happened to anyone in the history of ever.

But someone’s outstretched hand greeted you when you got to the pool’s edge.

And when you looked up, you questioned if you hit the bottom on the way in because the face you were seeing was a shock. Were you deceased? Did you somehow swim to heaven’s beach?

No. It was really him, the very person you got all dressed up for.

Seokjin. Handsome, reserved, off-limits friend of your brother Seokjin.

Years later, you still question why he was the one helping you out. But it didn’t matter at the time because all you wanted was to get thawed out as soon as possible.

“Come on,” he had urged. “You’ll get sick.”

Trembling because of the cold and nothing else, you took his hand and let him haul you into the house, wondering what the hell was going on the entire time. Why was he the one helping you? Where the hell was your brother?

Because not only did he lead you inside, but the boy also accompanied you to your bathroom, grabbing a towel off its rack and wrapping it around your knocking shoulder blades.

“Grab some clothes, okay?”

“Huh?”

“Go get clothes,” Seokjin ordered, moving towards your shower. “And change out of those as soon as you can.”

“Oh.” Blinking, you couldn’t decide if your shivers were from the fall or his comments. But either way, you were shaking horrendously. “Yeah, okay.”

After that, you remember being so cold you couldn’t even move your legs. Which meant that Seokjin had to lead you to your room and wait at the entrance while you hastily grabbed whatever you could find.

There was no way he was gonna catch the cutesy patterns of your underwear. No way.

When you were done, Seokjin brought you back into the restroom, the spray of water echoing through the festively decorated space. “It should be warm enough now,” he urged. “Don’t wait.”

“Thank you,” you finally huffed, hating how your shakes stifled your gratitude. “You can, uhm. Go back out there now.”

“Mm.” In the doorway, his eyes reflected the bright lights so perfectly. To this day, you still remember the way you compared them to stars. “Well. Umm. Good luck.”

And you will never forget the way you felt heat before you even touched the run of the shower.

“Yes, it’s all set. We are still on for Monday.”

“Good. This is the meeting we absolutely cannot miss.”

“Umm, yes—I mean—Understood.”

“Is everything okay over there?”

Rushing to close the door of your rental, you bite back a curse as your suit jacket catches in the edge. Because of course it does after the frantic day you’ve already had. “Yes! Everything’s”—you smush your top against your side while shutting the door again—“Fine! But I do have to go.”

“Sure, sure. Oh, one more thing—”

Right. Rummaging through your purse, you locate the keys at the very bottom while trying to ingest the four things being tossed into your ear, locking the car in a fast walk to the massive mountainside property ahead of you.

“ —then we’ll finalize the merger. Got that?”

Holy shit, your brother must be doing even better than you or his fiance is loaded.

“Hello?”

“Oh, shit, sorry. Yes, Mr. Hamada, we can do that.”

“Mm. What did we say about language.”

“Apologies.” Damn your filthy mouth for running even faster in cold weather. Because it is the goddamn arctic out here. “I will say I have been getting better, though.”

“Improvement won’t matter if you fuck up during the meeting.”

“Alright, buddy.” Your superior’s laugh grates your ear as you haul ass into the warm estate, worry suddenly gripping you when you realize that no one is walking around.

Shit, are you that late? Did you miss everything?

Skittering right to the main doors, you start to panic. Are these the main doors? They look like them. Fancy. Very fancy. Shit, shit, shit, is the wedding over—

A full body bumps into your side as you round a table bursting with flowers. Having a sound enough mind to cover your receiver, you react in a shout, “Hey, watch it—”

“Sorry!”

Wait. You know that voice.

Even though it’s one that you haven’t heard in years.

“…Jin?”

Everything slowly stops as the man turns and, if you weren’t so in shock, you would’ve noticed the way his eyes traveled from your heels to your perfectly trimmed brows.

You expect both something and nothing. Because when it comes to the person standing in front of you, there’s no telling what he’ll destroy you with next.

But what comes out is merely a tiny, chest-constricting,

“Hello.”

You stare, and stare, and stare some more. Even your boss cannot bring you back to the present with his incessant poking.

Because Jin looks so fucking handsome in his suit that’s not quite dressed yet, with hair that’s swept just enough to throw you off planet earth. Even the way his tie lounges around his neck gives you pause, because it showcases how broad his shoulders have become.

How can he look the same and yet so heartbreakingly different?

“I—”

“Later, tuna fish.”

Your heart lurches.

“They’re waiting for me.”

To your dismay, Seokjin presses a soft hand on your shoulder while passing through the ornate entrance, his lingering burn searing through as you watch him button his suit on the run.

Well. At least you didn’t miss the wedding.

You hear your sibling’s hearty shout echo throughout the hall, but you have to physically tear yourself from your spot to finally answer your boss.

And to not fixate on the one person you thought you were safe from today.

But of course he’s here. Why wouldn’t he be? Him and your brother have been inseparable since the beginning, and you should’ve known even being on different planets wouldn’t keep them apart too long.

Speaking of…

Traveling to another galaxy might solve the numbing ache in your chest. Maybe you should consider that gigantic leap yourself.

Because seeing Jin again brings you back to December.

And the frost you feel in your bones overshadows any weather brewing outside.

tbc.

wheee! we have a teaser! | join the taglist!

a/n: isi i hope you know what monster you're about to unleash lmao. here's to another holiday seokjin! gosh, he will keep haunting me and i love him for it. second chance with isi's initial brother's best friend!jin request? gotta love it. the one-two-three punch, i reckon. anyways, hope y'all enjoyed the teaser and i am so so nervous about the main drop but hope you like that, as well :'))

links: jingle all the way collab ; masterlist

#let's get it!#bts fic #bts fanfic #seokjin fic #*latest #*ryenfictalk #holidaycollab #fic:btd #seokjin x you #seokjin fluff #seokjin angst #seokjin smut #bts imagines #bts reactions #ryenwrites

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elizmanderson · 5 months ago

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print ARC giveaway!

so I finally realized that the ARCs that have been sitting in my living room since December need to...end up in the hands of other people lol oops

AS SUCH

I'm doing an ARC giveaway for two print paperback ARCs of The Keeper of Lonely Spirits, my upcoming queer cozy fantasy (out March 25)

to enter:

follow me

tag a friend in the replies (or if you're rb this not-from-me, tag me too to be sure I see it)

bonus: rb this post

there will be one U.S. and one international* winner

runs through 19 January 2025

*international entrants must live somewhere that can accept packages from the U.S.

the book is currently available for preorder from your favorite North American** retailers. to get a signed copy and support an indie bookstore, you can preorder it from Gathering Volumes in Perrysburg, Ohio :)

link to preorder page on Gathering Volumes

**afaik right now, only North American rights have been sold, hence my specifying North American retailers. it seems like international Amazon sites might have it? I hate to send people to Amazon, but for my international peeps that unfortunately might be your only way to get it for now without paying an arm and a leg for shipping.

I don't think I've ever run a giveaway on Tumblr before, but. I have. so many of these bad boys. so let's see what kind of action this gets

also btw if you didn't know yet: surprise! I have another book coming out in like two months

link to book description

#the keeper of lonely spirits #books #fantasy books #queer books #cozy fantasy

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aliwritex · 4 months ago

Note

hi this is kinda weird request ig lol but since it's valentine's day could you make a franco fic where he goes to his bsf house (cuz she lives in monaco and he's in monaco now, at least was in this morning for business / might not be an important information but it could be an excuse for him to stay over at her house or whatever) and both are single so they're the only valentine option to each other ?

notes: i’m only an hour late i’ve seen people post kinktober in december have mercy 🙏🏽 this is also short but there’ll be part two with smut that’s how i’m choosing to apologize edit: changed the header to match pt 2

You thought another valentine’s day alone wouldn’t bother you so much – since it would be the 20th of your life. You had girlfriends over for dinner the night before and had planned to stay in on the 14th, do some crafts maybe and clean up the decorations from your ‘galentines’ dinner.

In fact, you were fine, you didn’t really mind till you opened up instagram and saw everyone getting flowers, then moved to tiktok for distraction and everything was valentine’s themed.

You just groaned and put on phone down, deciding to do something else, but just as you did it chimed. You picked it back up again, it was a text from your friend.

“wyd tonight?” “nothing i’m guessing”

“you don’t have to say it like that” “you’re alone too this year” you replied

“i just landed in monaco” “we should hang out, later tho cause now i need a nap”

You agreed on dinner, at your place – you figured all the restaurants would be too busy and you didn’t want to pass as a couple. So hours later you found yourself setting up the table for another homemade dinner in your tiny apartment.

Franco didn’t knock, he texted you that he was on his way and you told him the door was unlocked. So he caught you bringing the food to the table and called out your name softly to not scare you. It still scared you, but it’s the intention that counts. When you turned around he had a bouquet of flowers and a bottle of wine.

“I was feeling festive” he explained “also thought you deserved something since you’re the one feeding me”

“I missed you,” you moved to hug him and couldn’t help but enjoy inhaling his cologne and having his arms wrapped around your waist, “haven’t seen you since last year. You look-“ you stopped to take a look at him “tan”

It’s not that you had a crush on Franco, you just knew and acknowledged that he was a handsome man. And he smelled really good, always. The fact was, he was the only close male friend that you had so your brain was always confused about your feelings towards him. Certainly you’d say you loved your girlfriends and would do anything for them but it was different with him, you didn’t really know where to cross the line. Besides, your friends always say that someday you might just end up together.

“What a latin summer gets you. Can we eat? I’m starving and this smells amazing” he asked as soon as you let go of him.

“Yeah, yeah. Can you serve us and wait in the living room while I deal with the flowers? We can catch up while we eat “

Franco gladly followed your instructions and walked to the couch with two plates as you got your flowers sorted. It was really sweet of him to get you a bouquet, though you couldn’t help but think it was a bit uncharacteristic of him to do so. You had never hung out on valentine’s before, so maybe he was just, in fact, feeling festive.

You had to stop your overthinking by the time you were done with the flowers, so you served some wine and made your way to the couch.

Besides the crazy thoughts in your head, your friendship with Franco had always been easy. One of those that you can just sit and talk about everything, it came easy for both of you. So by the time you were done with dinner you had already been through a thousand different topics and you had your head on his lap.

“So, what has got you spending Valentine’s alone? Not even desperate girls begging to get dicked down?”

“Can’t I take the time to come see you?” he raised his eyebrows as he looked down at you.

“Oh, don’t flatter me. I’d rather it was someone else instead of you, too, so don’t feel bad”

“I didn’t wish it was someone else, I like being with you. Besides, I think we had a proper valentines, dinner, flowers, wine, we’re basically only missing one thing” he teased, but you didn’t catch it, too busy scrolling through netflix to find something to watch.

“The chocolate, right? I swear I hid a box from myself last week but I couldn’t find it earlier. Can you bel-“

“That’s not what I was talking about, ¡por dios!” he said, frustrated before bending down to kiss you.

You were in shock for a second, unable to move as his lips pressed against yours till he pulled away to look at you. Then you didn’t hesitate in sitting up and reaching back for the kiss. His hand reached for your face, pulling you closer and smiling when your lips brushed.

Your noses bumped before he kissed you again. You could almost taste the wine on his stained lips and it made you want more. So when your lips parted and interlocked you sighed against his, letting him kiss deeper and deeper into your mouth.

You hadn’t realized how much you actually wanted him till then but since you got a taste you couldn’t stop yourself. Your hands met the back of his neck, pulling him closer as his fell to your legs, guiding you to straddle him. In no time you were sat on his lap, making out, tasting each other’s mouths as you felt heat travel from your faces down to your cores.

#a writes #franco colapinto x reader #a answers

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yuyusuyu · 7 months ago

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bloody hell — the emos

synopsis. oh, if only, if only she hadn't crossed paths with him. then maybe, just maybe, all of this could've been avoided... except, it was bound to happen by fate. there was no escaping the fate that was given to you at birth.

pairing. ot8! vampire! ateez x fem! reader (not poly! everyone will have their own ending!)

genres/aus. vampire au, suspense, romance, angst, slow burn

warnings. mentions of being watched, cursing, a kms joke oops. if there's anything i should add, please lmk !

rating. pg-13

wc. 3.2k lol...

a/n. this was nawt proofread... super duperrr sorry for uploading late !! was very busy and am very busy right now but things should calm down during december !! this is also a long chapter bc i deadass forgot to include the first part last chapter LOLLLL

send an ask in my inbox or leave a comment to be added to the taglist! reblogs and comments are appreciated! helps with not getting shadowbanned!

TODAY IS CLOUDY AND SOMEWHAT CHILLY, though you don't mind it. you see people who are bundled up with scarves hanging around their necks, some of them even wearing mittens to protect their skin from the biting chill in the air. september has its own few days of cold before october settles in, today being one of them.

you rip your eyes from passing students down to the bag in your hand, the plastic wrinkling as you shift on your feet to lean against the familiar black car beside you. jongho’s borrowed clothes lay folded neatly inside, smelling of the expensive kind of detergent you bought to wash it. you sigh and close your eyes, your head hurting just thinking about how much the detergent cost. jongho doesn’t care about these things, you know that, yet you can’t help but care when it comes to him.

it’s no question that he’s well off, maybe even rich but you can’t gauge just how much he is. you’ve been aware of such things ever since you first met him three years ago, how your classmates from then used to whisper about the things he wore, his belongings, everything. and so you’re so painfully aware of it all now, the expensive things he owns, how you’re extra careful around him at times.

though he may not be like her, flaunting around the wealth he has and making snide remarks about how you should be careful or how poor you are, you don’t want to risk it.

she’s made you have these bad habits, the ones where you care too much over things like this that shouldn’t matter.

“i hope i didn’t keep you waiting long.”

jongho wears a beanie, hiding the purple streaks in his hair from your eyes. he rounds the car and opens one of the back doors, dumping his practice bag and his backpack in the backseat. you hop inside his car quietly and buckle your seatbelt just as he sits in the driver’s seat.

“you didn’t take long,” you say, glancing at him.

he hums and sits quietly, shoulders slumping just the slightest bit.

“are you… okay?”

jongho tilts his head to look at you, a tired smile on his lips. “yeah,” he breathes out, “it’s just been,” he pauses, “a long day.”

by the way he sits up to start the car, by how his shoulders relax and tense all at the same time, you decide to not ask him about it and keep quiet, watching as jongho drives away from the campus.

“do you want me to pick him up?”

you turn away from the window and blink at the male. “what?”

jongho’s lips quirk upwards, clearly amused. “we’re here already. you know,” he points at the middle school building on the other side of the street from where he’s parked the car, “kou’s school.” he leans over the control board, and presses his index finger to your forehead, pushing your head back. “what’s got you distracted, hm?”

you open your mouth to reply, finding that it’s dry but you’re interrupted by the swinging door from behind jongho’s seat. jongho leans away from you as your brother gets inside the car, sporting a bright and infectious smile.

“sis!” kou drops his backpack by his feet after closing the door, hurling himself at you and attempting to hug you. you laugh when he pulls away, rubbing his head after hitting it against the roof of the car.

“woah there, little guy,” jongho says, his dark eyes gleaming with mirth, “careful.”

kou apologizes, smiling sheepishly at him. “hyung,” he says, settling in the backseat, “are you staying tonight?”

“sure am, champ.” the older male watches kou through the rearview mirror, only putting the car in drive once he’s buckled up.

the eleven year old gushes about his day: what he learned in math and science, how literature class was boring, how he and his friends played a lot during their break. you don’t register jongho’s taken you to the mall until kou starts pouting and wishes you wouldn’t have to work today so you can spend time with him and his hyung. you have to promise to dedicate saturday to only him and jongho, and that’s when kou beams and lets you leave.

“no way you just got here.”

“oh shut up, mingi.” you roll your eyes at the male that twists around to walk right in front of you. “you’re going to trip if you keep walking backwards like that.”

mingi shrugs. “i’ll be fine,” he says, “but how come you’re just arriving?” he raises an eyebrow at you. “you’re an early bird.”

“nosey much?” you mumble, walking past him in a hurry, “hurry the fuck up, mingi. we have less than ten minutes to get to the store.”

the tall male loudly laughs, clearly entertained by your behavior, and follows closely behind you, pestering you with questions.

mingi leans down, wearing a look of disgust as he glances between you and the incoming flock of people. “the emos just keep coming and coming,” he whispers, standing up straight and walking out towards the cashier to tend to the person waiting to buy their items. mingi grins at them, leaving you alone to roll your eyes as you focus back on the task at hand: unboxing and sorting the new merchandise onto the shelves.

which should be mingi’s job right now.

true to mingi’s words, the emos do keep filing into the store to keep buying the edgy jewelry in stock, just like every tuesday evening and the ones before that. you huff through your nose, wiggling your fingers and stretching your arms just as mingi walks into the back, your closing shift manager praising him for getting through the emo rush in one piece while they go to flip the open sign to the closed side.

“kill me now,” mingi groans, dramatically flopping onto the makeshift chair you two had made earlier before the emo rush started (something mingi prides himself for coming up with) and falls through it because you had emptied it long ago. “the emos need to find a new store for their stupid shit!” his hands fly up and attempt to tug at his long, black hair, trying to play it cool as he quickly stands up and dusts his baggy jeans.

you snort and bite your tongue to hold back a laugh when your coworker glares at you. leaning down to grab the last couple of shirts in a box before walking back into the store, mingi follows after you with an unopened box in his hand. “you also like that stupid shit they wear… you know, the jewelry. so doesn’t that make you an emo, too?”

mingi gasps, slapping your arm as you two stand next to each other. you chortle as he tears the box open with a cutter, grumbling about how foul it was of you to say that about him. “you’re evil,” he says, lazily throwing shirts and shirts onto the shelves. “how could you call me an emo? do you know how derogatory that term is to me? and this jewelry is mine, so the emos can go suck a nut and find a different store!”

laughing, you place the last shirt in your hand onto the shelf, giving mingi’s back a singular pat. “right, sorry,” you cough. “you’re definitely… not an emo… my bad.”

puffing his chest out, the pink haired male points at the box at his feet, crossing his arms afterwards. “apology accepted… only if you help me with the last box.”

“oh no,” you take a step back, arms raised in the air as you shake your head. “i’m not helping you. you basically left me alone to go through twenty damn boxes while you handled the emos. that’s my job. you’re not very slick when it comes to trying to get out of the things you have to do, mingi.”

mingi scoffs and narrows his eyes. “actually, you were supposed to do that today and i was supposed to be out at the cashier.” when you deadpan and point at something behind him, mingi raises his eyebrow before turning around. he gulps and looks back at you, smiling sheepishly.

you, as always, are right: you were going to be at the cashier and mingi was going to unload the boxes.

“well…”

“well…” you repeat his words, smiling in amusement as mingi scratches the back of his neck.

“well… the manager actually said that they forgot to change the board for today!”

“mingi, i literally saw the manager change the board today when you clocked in late.” you grimace at him, “by the way, how the hell did that even happen? we got here at the same time.”

the male gapes at you. “what? no, he didn’t! don’t lie to me, yn! and… actually, i have no excuse for clocking in late.”

you shrug, walking into the employee room. “i’ll ask the manager and send proof later!”

“what? yn, wait! don’t—”

you grin, twirling around and taking a step back at how mingi is quite literally right behind. you’re surprised at how quick he was able to get to you. clearing your throat, you turn back and head towards the locker you put your things in. “i’m just messing with you, mingi.”

“oh thank goodness,” he says, sighing and heading over to where he put his things.

the first thing you grab upon opening your locker is your phone, turn it on and read the messages jongho sent you.

jjongs: hey, i won’t be able to pick you up tonight

jjongs: i just finished helping him with his homework and he wants me to read him a story

jjongs: i won’t be able to get there in time when you get out

you sigh.

you: don’t worry about it, jjongs

jjongs: i’m so sorry

you: i said it’s ok

jjongs: text me when you’re on your way so i can come out and get you

you: seeing me outside my own apartment building is sooo romantic and chivalrous of you

jjongs: can’t have a fair lady like yourself be out in the dark for long

you: LOL?

jjongs: oooo you want me so bad

you: in your dreams wtf

you: i’m leaving the store right now so i’ll text you once i’m out

jjongs: ok

you and mingi shut your lockers at the same time, a loud thud resonating in the room. then, the two of you walk out, making sure to say goodbye to the closing shift manager before heading out of the store, walking down the almost empty halls of the mall. once outside, you quickly bid mingi goodbye and take a step forward when mingi speaks.

“it’s really late,” he says, looking down at his phone with furrowed eyebrows. he puts it back into the pocket of his jacket, stuffing his hands into them and looks up at you. “i’ll walk you home.”

you sigh and smile, shaking your head. “i live far away, and i have to take two buses to get back. i wouldn’t want to bother you anyways.”

mingi looks at you through squinted eyes. “it’s late and it’s dangerous for women to be out at this time. i don’t want to be lonely without having my favorite coworker around to bug all because you decided to walk alone at night,” he huffs.

“damn,” you say, eyes slightly wide as you raise your arms up in mock surrender. “okay, fine. you win. you can come along, but don’t say i didn’t warn you.”

“puh-lease,” mingi snorts, joining you as you walk towards the bus stop. “how far could you possibly live from this place?

“holy shit, you really weren’t lying when you said that you lived far away.” mingi gasps as you two exit the last bus you had to take to get to your apartment.

you glance at mingi from the corner of your eye. “there’s still some walking to do if you’re still so adamant on seeing me off. honestly,” you sigh, stopping. “you really didn’t have to come all the way here, mingi. i’ve been doing this for a while, so i’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”

“i don’t care,” mingi says, crossing his arms over his chest. “i’m being a good friend right now.”

“a good friend?” you tilt your head, surprised. “since when did we become good friends?”

“since we started working together,” he replies, his tone so serious that it takes you aback.

you didn’t know he considered you as such.

“how are we supposed to be good friends when we barely know each other and only work together a couple days every week ?” you grumble, clutching onto your bag as you resume your trek to your apartment. it’s already late, and you feel bad for not being there to tuck your brother away to sleep

“we can start getting to know each other right now,” mingi says, catching up to you quickly. he bumps shoulders with you, grinning. “i’ll start. i really like girls.”

“no shit,” you laugh.

mingi looks at you in surprise.

you’ve never really… laughed like this before. you usually laugh quietly but never this loudly to the point that your eyes are closed and your head is thrown back in amusement, your hands covering your mouth in… embarrassment, maybe? or is it out of habit? he’d like to know.

“you’re always flirting with the female customers.” your laughter subsides into giggles, and you playfully elbow his side.

mingi scoffs. “i do not!”

you stare at him.

“...well, maybe you’re right—”

“nope,” you cut him off. “i am right.”

“well, what about you?” mingi quickly says. “what do you like?”

you hum in thought. “well, i like school.”

“really?” he laughs. “you like school?”

you shrug as you both pass the pharmacy, and you make a mental note that you have to pick up kou’s medicine tomorrow morning. “yeah,” you reply. “i like school. gives me something to do and look forward to…”

mingi frowns at the tone in your voice. something to do and look forward to, she says…

it’s then that you stop. mingi blinks a couple times and looks up, coming face to face with a run-down apartment complex. he looks between you and the building, surprised.

she… lives here?

“well,” you look at him, smiling. “thank you for walking me all the way here, mingi. you really didn’t have to, but i appreciate it nonetheless.”

“oh,” he says, “it’s no big deal… listen, is it alright if i head in with you?”

you cock an eyebrow at this. “why?”

“just to make sure no weirdo tries following you back to your place.”

again, you laugh. “no one’s going to follow me, mingi.”

“but—”

you walk towards the entrance and push the doors open, saying, “goodnight, mingi,” before the doors close and you disappear up the stairs, leaving mingi staring after you.

“ah shit,” you groan, pinching your nose. you forgot to text jongho. well, you shrug, it’s not like i’ll get in trouble. jjongs is just a friend.

the walk to your faded apartment door with the very ugly numbers of ‘117’ plastered on right beneath the peephole stare right back at you. as you rummage through your bag to find your keys, the door suddenly swings open and a boy that reaches your shoulders grins widely at you.

“sis!”

“kou,” you say, baffled. “why are you still awake?” jongho leans over the kitchen counter from behind kou. “what’s he doing up, jjongs?”

kou pouts, opening the door wider as you slip inside, kicking your shoes off and turning around, waiting for your brother’s answer. the boy looks up at you. “i wanted us to read together before i went to sleep… i’m sorry—”

“mhm,” jongho hums out in agreement, turning his back towards you two. “what he said. kou is quite the convincer, you know?” the sound of water running fills the air, and you can only assume that he’s washing dishes.

you sigh, leaning down slightly to ruffle his hair. kou perks up, smiling as he tries leaning into your touch. “there’s nothing to be sorry about, kou.” you stand up, holding out your hand. kou grabs it, and you lead him over to his room. “did you brush your teeth already?”

he nods. “yes. um, sis?”

you hum as you flick the light switch on in kou’s room, ushering him over to his bed. he goes under the covers, and you tuck the duvet right under his nose, pinching it afterwards. kou giggles, “sis, stop!”

“okay, okay.” with one last pinch, you sit back comfortably at the edge of his bed. “what was it that you wanted to ask?”

“oh. um…” kou’s cheeks flush as he looks away. “can you um, put the butterfly clips in my hair again for when i go to school tomorrow? i really like how it looks in my hair.”

“of course!” you coo, kissing both his cheeks. “anything for my little brother.”

“thank you, sis,” he giggles. “can you read to me now?”

“of course—”

kou begins to cough uncontrollably. you’re quick to get on your feet, leaving temporarily and coming back with a cup of water and two pills in your hand. you pat his back as kou carefully takes the glass and pills into his hand, popping them into his mouth before washing them down with the water. once he calms down, he awkwardly lays back down in his bed, screwing his eyes shut.

you know he doesn’t want to talk about it.

so you grab the book you two have been reading together for the past month, finding the page you two last left on and begin reading out loud to him. a couple minutes pass before kou tells you that he’s feeling sleepy. you place the bookmark on the page you just read and place the book back on the nightstand.

“goodnight, kou,” you whisper, giving his forehead a quick kiss, ready to head out when you notice that the window in his room is open. you head over to it, leaning out for a second to feel the night air. a shiver goes down your spine, goosebumps appearing on your arms and the back of your neck. you immediately lean back inside the room, shutting the window and locking it.

it felt like you were being watched… but who the hell would want to watch you?

you're nobody.

you scrunch your nose, deciding to ignore whatever just happened and opting to go freshen up before heading to sleep.

you’ll just have to worry about it if it ever becomes a problem, but for now it isn’t.

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BLOODY HELL | yuyusuyu 2024

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ursuburbanmother · 1 year ago

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I’m On Fire, But I’m Trying Not to Show It || Chapter One

Pairing: Angus Tully x fem!Reader

Summary: You and Angus have been best friends since you were little children. Now in high school the only thing that separates you is a lake between both your schools. Due to what was describe by your headmaster as "Unfortunate circumstances due to chance, and poor planning on our part," you are forced to stay at the Barton Academy for the holidays with the company of your best friend or maybe more.

a/n: hi guys! I’m new so try to be kind to me lol. Anyways this is probably not very good. It’s slow paced cause I wanted to establish their friendship. Not sure where this is going so if you have any suggestions let me know! Also not grammar or beta read so…

Word Count: 3k

Find: Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Enjoy!

December 17th, 1970

You hadn’t spoken to your parents in months. You figured they would call or write a letter or something. In October they wished you a speedy little, “Happy Halloween,” before hanging up. You could hear the loud party in the background. Always the socialites, they were probably eager to get back to enjoying themselves by downing flutes of champagne and appetizers. Now it was December, and you had not received a peep from either. When the holiday plans form was passed out to the girls of your boarding school at the end of November, you ignored it. Then the deadline came, and you hastily checked off the box that said, ‘Plan to stay on campus.’

Your parents hadn’t called to dispute it and now you’re stuck at mass, sitting in a pew, watching other happy families and their daughters anxiously waiting to leave. You wondered if there was still a way for you to get away. Your friend, really only friend, Angus Tully was headed to St. Kitts and with him gone, your only true escape was gone. If he knew you were stuck holding over, he would beg his parents to take you, but you knew it would be too much of an imposition, so you kept that fact secret.

Life had always seemed to throw you two together. Even at the age where cooties were still a very legitimate fear. Born in the same snobby Boston neighborhood you two were often the only kids at your parent's parties. You remember that humid night on the Fourth of July when you had met the lanky boy with a mess of brown curls. The fireworks had begun to go off and everyone wore white dresses and suits. You had become restless and started to wander the halls of your home aimlessly. Streamers of blue, red and white hung from the ceiling and servers walked around passing out sparklers.

You found him on the patio. He tugged, annoyed, at his tie. Your own dress was stifling in the heat and for a pair of seven-year-olds, you found the best solution to your ailment was to jump into the shallow end of the pool.

“I’ll do it, if you do it,” you had promised under the hum of cicadas and floating fireflies.

“Deal,” you shook hands.

The water was cold and clear. You swam around for a while, splashing each other and playing Marco Polo. It was at the same time your mother had decided to move the party outside so people could watch the lights in the sky a bit better. You two were pulled out of the pool and shook like wet dogs.

Livid, your parents fed you the line all parents wait to say to their troublesome child, “If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you?” You decided at that moment that yes, you would.

After that you two were inseparable. Because when you're a kid all you need is one single act of solidarity to devote your life to someone. Throughout elementary school you were practically fused to one another. You’d exclude people from your game of hopscotch and eat lunch in secret nooks. When you two were headed to high school your parents enrolled you in a posh all-girl boarding school and Angus to some prep school in another rural part of Massachusetts. Phone calls rang long. You remember the groans you would get from other girls who would give up trying to use the payphone. At some point you had run out of quarters and so to save money you had begun writing letters. Angus being Angus, he’d write as if he was off at war and the letters were the last things keeping him sane.

You knew he never enjoyed school but after he was kicked out from his first preparatory, then his second and third, you had turned into a scolding mother.

“What are you going to do now?”

“Die if I’m lucky, shave my head at Fork Union if not.”

“I want to go to college with you Angus. If not college then I at least want to be able to be an adult with you. One with a diploma so we can get easy jobs as regional salespeople or something,” you mumbled, twirling the phone cord around with your finger.

“You really thought this out,” he laughed.

“I’m serious, Augie.” You heard him sigh across the line.

“Okay. I’ll do better. No screw ups next time.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

When he was sent to Barton, your sister school, you couldn’t have been more excited. It was a short walk away; you could see it from across the lake that separated you. Your mom had been the one to call you about the change. She said his mother thought having him near you would make him less fussy. Something about you being the good influence he needs. You doubted that yet bit your tongue, knowing it would create more trouble than anything. Now it had been over a year and Angus had kept his word. When the opportunity arose for you to meet up, you would take it. Football games or talent shows, you were there. To anyone outside, it would have appeared as though you two just held a lot of school spirit. Like that beach boy's song.

“Be true to your school now,” you’d sing into Angus' ear.

He’d roll his eyes but always join in, “just like you would to your girl or guy.”

“Rah-rah-rah-rah sis boom bah! I love that part!” You’d giggle.

He’d try to hide his smile, but you could always tell. He’d put his arm around your shoulder and say, “Yeah okay.”

…

Once you were dismissed from mass you sighed and trudged all the way back through the snow to your dorm building. Having it so empty was eerie, you could hear your own footsteps echoing down the halls. You made your way into the common room to wait for Ms. Orchard.

She was meant to be your babysitter for the next few weeks. She was your Renaissance literature teacher. Ms. Orchard was nice but on the older side, which meant she was traditional. You often thought she would be better suited to be a Home Economics teacher if she was so invested in being ladylike.

You sat in the corner of the couch and opened a book. Minutes passed and it seemed obvious no one was coming to join you. Not even Mrs. Orchard. She probably broke a hip trying to make her way back in the snow.

“Ms. Orchard has broken a hip while walking in the snow,” the door suddenly bursts open hitting the side of the wall so hard it shakes the room.

“What?” Your mouth drops at the news. Shit, had you jinxed it?

Your Dean, Mr. Jameson says as he walks in, covered in snowflakes. “Yup. She slipped on ice on the way here. By the parking lot. Didn’t you hear the ambulance?”

“Uh… no?”

“Hmm,” he hummed, looking around the room, “where are the other girls?”

“I think it’s just me sir.”

“Ah, right. Well that makes this easier. You’ll be spending your Christmas break at Barton. Now, it’s awfully last minute so we hope they take you. Why don’t you go get your bag ready and-,”

“Hold on. Barton the boys' school?” You could almost gag at the idea. No offense to Angus, but you could remember the endless horror stories he would tell you of life in a boys' school. The air always smelled weird, and cleanliness was the least of their worries. “Isn’t there somebody to replace Ms. Orchard?”

“This place cleared out thirty minutes ago, Ms. L/n,” he said, “And I have a family to get back to.”

“But-, I just-, isn't there a rule against this or something?”

“I have no doubt that the teacher supervisor there will ensure you have a safe, jolly time Ms. L/n.”

“But I-,”

“That’s enough. I understand this is an unprecedented situation, but the only alternative would be to leave you here alone and that just is not going to happen. Please Ms. L/n, make this easy for everyone.” With his hand he motioned towards the door.

“Fine,” you gritted out. You got off the couch and went to your room. You half-heartedly crammed anything you could into your suitcase. Some shirts, sweaters and pants. You ran out of space and resorted to carrying your books in your hands along with your potted plant. You felt bad leaving your lavender to just sit and wilt, so you took her with you.

“I made a few calls. Everything should work out. You all settled then?” Mr. Jameson said once you had made your way back to the common room. Nodding with a tight-lipped smile you headed out. You two could have walked but apparently, he was in a hurry to catch a six o’clock flight and you ended up taking his car.

It was a short drive and with reluctance you made your way inside the school. “Come on. Put a pep in your step,” Mr. Jameson clapped.

He navigated you around. You had only been in the main building, never the dorms. Blindly you let him guide you until you found yourself in a room with four other boys and Angus. Angus who was supposed to be half-way to the airport by now. His sulky face shifted into one of shock. You took a step towards him only to be stopped by your dean's arm in front of you. The other guys were looking at you with mouths wide open. It was like their eyes were about to fall out of their sockets. You grumbled, not knowing what else to do.

Mr. Jameson took the lead, “Mr. Hunham? Correct?” He outstretched his hand for him to shake. Hesitantly the older man took it.

“What’s the meaning of this,” he pointed between Mr. Jameson and you.

“Unfortunate circumstances due to chance, and poor planning on our part. This is Ms. Y/n L/n. Come introduce yourself.”

“I’m Y/n L/n,” you shrugged, looking at Angus for guidance. In unison they all say hello.

“Can we speak in private,” Mr. Jameson asked.

“Alright,” Mr. Hunham says, “no funny business,” he gives a pointed look to the boys.

The two teachers leave, and you quickly move to Angus to encapsulate him in a quick hug.

“What the hell? What are you doing here?”

“Funny, I was going to ask the same thing.”

“What the hell Angus. You have a girlfriend?” A blonde boy with a red tie says as his eyes scan your figure. You shift uncomfortably at the action. “A smoking one too…”

“Shut it Kountze, you’re catching flies,” Angus scoffs.

The door creaks open as both gentlemen return from their brief chat. You and Angus move away from each other like you were caught doing something wrong.

“It seems we will be extending you an invitation to Ms. L/n,” Mr. Hunham says, “you okayed this with Woodrup?” He verifies again with Dean Jameson.

“Yes, it’s all settled. We at Janie Patrick’s School thank you. We owe you one,” he turns to you, “goodbye L/n, you’re in good hands.”

He was halfway through the door when Mr. Hunham cleared his throat obnoxiously loudly. “As I was saying, we will be following a standard school schedule.”

“Uh, sir? We’re on vacation.” Kountze points out.

“Which means we’ll be taking our meals together. And you will observe regular hours of study.”

“Are you kidding me?”

“The Peloponnesian War awaits, Mr. Kountze, you and Mr. Tully. The rest of you can get a jump on next semester. It’ll pay off. You’ll see.”

“We’re already holding over, and now we’re being punished for it?” Angus says bitterly and on fast reflex you rub his arm comfortingly. Mr. Hunham is just as fast to notice.

“Oh no, no, no. Do not tell me this is your girlfriend Mr. Tully.”

“Wh-what. No! We’re just friends.”

“Yeah, we were born on the same street!”

“I do not intend to break apart your romantic escapades all break long.”

“We. Are. Just. Friends,” Angus reaffirms, venom on his tongue. You could see the blush rising on his pale cheeks. You could feel your own as well.

“Mhm,” Hunham hums skeptically, his gaze lingers on you two for a second before glancing back at his clipboard, “Alright… You will be afforded limited windows for recreation and supervised physical activity.”

“The gyms are not even open yet.”

“Yeah, they only lacquered half the floor,” another boy points out, this one has long blonde hair that reaches his shoulders.

“Fresh air will do you good,” says Hunham.

“It’s like 15 degrees outside.”

“And the Romans bathed naked in the freezing Tiber. Adversity builds character Mr. Tully. Uh, speaking of which, the school will be cutting heat to dormitories and faculty housing and so we’ll all be bunking in the infirmary. With separate accommodations for Ms. L/n of course.”

They all groan. You're just upset. You had thought you would spend the next two weeks avoiding Ms. Orchard and lying to Angus about your whereabouts while he admiringly described the beaches of St. Kitts to you over postcards. Although you supposed it wasn’t all bad. You could spend more time with him, under the watchful glare of Angus' teacher of course.

Together you all get ready to haul your things to the infirmary before being stopped by Mr. Hunhams tsking in disapproval.

“You philistines are just going to let the lady carry her own things? I’m sorry to see Barton has failed in ingraining a sense of chivalry into you.”

“Oh no, it’s alright really, I can do it,” you protest but they all scramble to help you anyway. “Can I carry your suitcase Y/n?” Kountze says, in an odd way, that was meant to be suggestive.

“Okay Kountze, piss off,” Tully pushes him away, leaning down slightly to get your things, “let’s go.” He walks quickly out the door, leaving the rest of you to follow him.

As you are slapped in the face by the harsh winds you curse the idiots at your school who refused to let you wear pants. You were forced to put on double the tights and your warmest coat. It did not do anything to aid you and your shivering made that clear. It was like they wanted to torture you when the boys stopped halfway down the quad and in front of a truck. You're still holding your books so it's not like you can rub your arms to help you out a little. They were complaining about Hunham, who they so endearingly nicknamed “Walleye.”

“Hey, guys, hold up for a second,” Angus tells the young kids in front of you. He sets his, and your things, down on the grimy paved road. He searched through his pockets and lit a cigarette. “Want one?” he asks you and Kountze.

“No. I got something else. Give me that,” he grabs the lighter from him and sparks a joint.

“Hey, don’t smoke that out here. I don't want to get busted by Walleye.”

“Don’t be such a pussy,”

“I’m not a pussy, I just don't want to end up at Fork Union paying for your mistake.”

He ignores Angus and instead turns his attention to you instead, “You're not like a total priss right?”

You shake your head. At least you didn’t think you were.

“Alright,” he smirks and stretches his hand out for you to shake, “Teddy Kountze.”

“Nice to meet you,” you say. The other unnamed boy is the next to greet you.

“Jason Smith.”

“We know who you are. You want to hit this,” Teddy offers the jock the joint.

Jason scans his surroundings before agreeing, “Uh, yeah.”

“You got a great arm man,” he compliments,

“Yeah, well, it’s just football.”

“How’d you get stuck holding over?”

“I’m supposed to be skiing with my folks up at Haystack, but my dad put his foot down. Said I can’t come home unless I cut my hair.”

“So why don’t you cut your hair?

“Civil disobedience, man.”

“I dig that,” you comment. “You know that when they tried to cut that tree between our schools, I organized the tree-sitting.”

“Holy shit that was you? Figured it was some hippies from Boston,” Teddy snickers.

“Nope. I sat in that tree for hours, drinking from water bottles that Angus tossed up to us.”

“Did it work?” Jason wonders.

“For now, yeah.”

“Awesome…. But no, he’s cool. It’s just a battle of wills. Still, I was hoping he’d cave first, because the powder up at Haystack is so sweet right now.”

“What about you, Mr. Moto? Why are you here?” Teddy asks one of the first-year boys.

He appears embarrassed to be singled out, “No, my name is Ye-Joon. My family is in Korea, and they think it’s too far for me to travel alone.”

“I figured it was because your rickshaw was broken,” Teddy laughs to himself. Angus didn’t exaggerate when she said this guy was a jerk.

“What a rickshaw?”

Angus intervenes, “You’re an asshole, Kountze. Your mind’s a cesspool and a shallow one at that.”

“Who’s the asshole Tully? You’re the one who blew up history.” Jason notices the tension and brings the group's conversation back to the freshman.

“What’s your story man?”

“Alex Ollerman. I’m here because my parents are on a mission in Paraguay. We’re LDS. “Mormons, right?” Alex nods yes.

“Don’t you guys wear some kind of magic underwear?” It's like Teddy loves to hear himself talk, you think.

“Common misconception. Actually, it’s called a temple garment, and we’re only supposed to wear it when-.”

“Hey, what's with the townies?” Kountze spots two men emerging from the chapel with a large, heavy green tree in their grasp.

“Hey, what are you doing with our Christmas tree?” Angus shouts, tapping you on the shoulder in a way that says can you believe this?

“The school sold it back to us. Scotch pine, still fresh.” The stranger shouts back.

“Yeah, we’re going to put it back on the lot. We do it every year.”

“This is the most bullshit ever.”

The boys put out their separate smokes much to the relief of Alex and Ye-Joon. You fall behind the rest of them and Angus naturally finds his place next to yours. You stroll in silence until he decides to break the ice.

“You going to tell me what happened?”

“You tell me first. You were so excited to go on vacation.”

“One word. Stanley.”

You grimace, knowing what that means. “Shit. I’m sorry.”

“It’s whatever. They want to spend their honeymoon forgetting my existence then they can do just that. I’m almost an adult anyway. Then I can go anywhere I want anytime.”

“Is that what Judy said?”

“That was the bullshit excuse, yes.”

“Hey, you got me though. We’ll make this fun.”

“We have no tree, Hunham will be breathing down our back, and Kountze hasn’t stopped ogling at you since you arrived. Does that sound like the perfect Christmas to you?”

You laugh softly, “Ignore Hunham and Kountze. As for the tree, we could always Charlie Brown it. What do you think the lavender is here for?” You shake your plant a little. The purple bush sways in the wind.

He smiles, “Yeah… It’s not a bad little tree,” he begins to quote.

“Maybe it just needs a little love,” you say together and break into a fit of giggles.

#angus tully #the holdovers #angus tully x reader #i love this movie #reader insert

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starmocha · 6 months ago

Text

It's been a while since I've done my usual end of the year fic review (originally from LiveJournal), since I did take an unexpected writing hiatus for 1.5 years (mental health reasons and then RL emergency crisis). This is the first year I've deviated from writing Sess/Kag completely (still adore it and did try to write some stuff during that period of crisis, but had too much on my mind to focus). When I say Love and Deepspace has me in a chokehold... Inviting some writers to join me in this end of the year evaluation for all stories you've written for any and all fandoms. It's a good way to yap about your stories and writing process, but feel free to opt out. Absolutely no hard feelings. <3333 Also feel free to tag others or just join in if you like! (I also suggest making a new post, so people can like all of the writers 💖) Tagging some lovelies: @rose-tinted-kalopsia @unluckywisher @aeyumicore @irandial @callilypso

【 I will be linking stories on tumblr, but these can all be found on AO3 (loveppears) as well! 】

Total number of completed stories: 37

Total word count: 84,143 (give or take; I find AO3's word counts to be a little wonky. Also lowkey disappointed I couldn't add BOTDK's word count to this since it's sitting pretty at 38.3k words 😔)

Chronological Breakdown:

May »

calling your name | Dawnbreaker/MC | 1.5k words

June »

July »

August »

September »

October »

November »

December »

Overall Thoughts:

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted?

Definitely a lot more! As mentioned, I did take a 1.5 year writing hiatus due to RL reasons, so it's kind of astounding that I managed to slip back into writing again after so long and found a steady rhythm. I've noticed my rate of putting out stories (especially to my standards) has been one per week, if not biweekly, which beats my previous years of one per month if I'm lucky lol We are not addressing the elephant in the room that my speed/motivation started with all all of the horny Sylus smut in July 🧍‍♀️

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January?

Love and Deepspace lol I have written Reader fics for another otome game (Several Shades of Sadism) before, but that was a few years ago and was the only otome game I actually felt inspired for. LADS surpassed that, because, what 37-ish stories in just eight months??? 😭😭😭

What’s your own favorite story of the year?

Teehee. I can never pick one, so let's go with top five, in no particular order: - fly to you like birds do - would you still love me if i was a worm? (and other thought-provoking questions) - it was always you - Elysium - never the same Maybe an extra special mention for Sunday Reset, my birthday present to myself and the fandom <3333

Did you take any writing risks this year?

Writing Elysium (and Bride of the Dragon King) felt like a risk since they're so goddamn long (especially the latter...).

Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the new year?

For the love of god, give me the attention span to finish all of those series I've promised 😔🫶

From my past year of writing, what was…

My best story of this year:

I feel like Elysium and it was always you can be tied for best story.

My most popular story of this year:

OK, this one is a little tricky to determine. fly to you like birds do has the most kudos & bookmarks on AO3 (1,157 kudos, 132 public bookmarks currently), but not as many interactions on tumblr. would you still love me if i was a worm? (and other thought-provoking questions) is my third popular story on AO3, but I think it got dropped to also third on tumblr it was always you is the most popular on tumblr, but it's at fourth standing on AO3 (although it seems to have been steadily rising in standing recently). I'll probably go ahead and say it was always you is my most popular story at the moment. But, um, you guys do realize this is part 2, right???? Why does it have more interactions than part 1 now 😭

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion:

never the same - I don't really write Raf (I'm a coward), but I am quite proud of this one, especially since it was earlier in the year when I was trying to get back into writing again.

Most fun story to write:

Crow in the Bedroom and would you still love me if i was a worm? (and other thought-provoking questions) - I love clowning on Sylus lmao

Story with the single sexiest moment:

Um.....a moment??? Idk....but people seemed to enjoy both but if it's forever, it's even better and it was always you (aka the Sylus breeding series 👁👄👁) ...........part 3 is coming....it is....I promise

Most “holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you” story:

People seemed to think both the day bleeds into nightfall and never the same (same series) were pretty fucked up, but if you've read my older stuff in other fandoms, this was just on brand behavior of me lol ...I actually need to write Xavier and Sylus' parts now too....and...Caleb, I guess........fuck. orz

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters:

never the same - this was around the time Rafayel's myth came out and I absolutely adored his myth instantly.

Hardest story to write:

....Bride of the Dragon King. Not hard to write per se, but tedious to write because the document is now 100 pages long and every time I try to read through it, my eyes hurt, so I haven't been able to fill in the missing scenes or do a full read-over yet. ....but the other day I did print out all 100 pages to read and edit old-school. I am nothing if not committed to the bit 🤡

Biggest disappointment:

I'm just disappointed it's taking this long to finish BOTDK....and I suppose writing the epilogue for the Sylus breeding kink series since I keep getting distracted by other plot bunnies. Oh. And the Christmas series I was supposed to finish in twelve days. My own anemic body betrayed me at the worst time ever. 😒

Biggest surprise:

...I'm writing consistently? 🥹

Most unintentionally telling story:

but if it's forever, it's even better and many stories afterwards definitely exposed something about me...............

Highlights + Wrap-up:

5 Favourite Opening Lines:

1. This was weird. This was very weird. This was so very fucking weird. — Crow in the Bedroom 2. You were going to kill Luke and Kieran, you decided decisively, as you stood outside Sylus’ study, your hand wrapped around the doorknob, trembling uncontrollably and filled with anxiety worse than any other instances in your life. — to: my true love 3. She was coming home soon. — the day bleeds into nightfall 4. To you, every moment with Zayne felt like a present, always unexpected, always delightful, and every single one you cherished with all of your heart. — you're the only one, my love 5. Distantly, in the Celestial Realm where the immortals resided, the vast kingdom of the Dragon King was shrouded in nighttime for all of eternity, stuck within an eternal spring. — Bride of the Dragon King :: Prelude (I'll be honest. I find opening lines tend to feel very lukewarm, so I wouldn't say I actually have any favorites.)

5 Favourite Closing Lines:

1. In this moment, you also recalled the elders had long ago told tales of a paradise after life, but you wondered how there could be a greater heaven than the one on the grassland with your lover—your destined half. Sylus. — Elysium 2. The pieces of your lives fell into place, this picture of paradise becoming clearer with each passing moment. It was yours to keep, yours to hold. How divine. — it was always you 3. Sylus closed his eyes, and he rubbed his temple as he gritted his teeth again, wondering with irritation if he had just gotten cockblocked by a mechanical bird. — Crow in the Bedroom 4. One day, in a new lifetime, they will be together again. “For ‘tis Lemuria’s vow…” he murmured, stepping forward and letting his lips meet hers on the canvas. His eyes closed as he shuddered and sighed, his hand splayed over hers. A bond everlasting. — never the same 5. Set aglow, it felt like the two of you had slipped away to another world, to a dream where you and he played and waltzed among the stars, his hand firmly grasping yours, a silent promise that he would always hold onto you even when all of the stars burned out. — you shine like the stars, you light up my heart

5 Favorite Lines from Anywhere:

1. Normally, you were more than ready to bed the leader of Onychinus, because why the fuck wouldn’t you be? — Crow in the Bedroom 2. He gazed into your eyes, as if in awe at seeing the whole universe staring back at him, gifting him with the secret message of a distant star echoed across time and space that had been waiting to reach him. — you shine like the stars, you light up my heart 3. “We are meant to be, and were we not, I would rewrite the stars, to change the course of destiny and weave a new tapestry of fate to make you mine.” — Elysium 4. He knew he had stolen a piece of Heaven, already prepared and willing to pay the heavy price to keep what he had coveted. — it was always you 5. Soft, even breathing filled the room, and dreams of playful little dinosaurs and crows filled a little girl’s head as she slept peacefully, safe in her father’s protective embrace and surrounded by her cherished plushies. — Little Dino

Fic-writing goals for 2025:

I have got to finish those goddamn series, fuck's sake...

#★⋆. ࿐࿔ fanfiction games #love and deepspace #love and deepspace x reader #sylus x reader #zayne x reader #rafayel x reader #xavier x reader #can't believe it took a man with a weird crow obsession to pull me out of my writing funk #👁👄👁

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