#also can i just say real quick that the combat leveling is bullshit? my guy fights every damn night

[bragganhyl]

oh yeah i picked up stardew valley a few days ago

i know it's supposed to be a cute little *relaxing* farming sim but for my compulsive ass???

[comicaurora]

Being a watcher of anime, I just wanted to say that you've done a fantastic job of handling power creep in your comic. Is that something you think about in writing your fight scenes? Like, are you consciously making sure your characters never get to late DBZ levels of bullshit?

Ho yea, definitely. Stay tuned for January, I've got a video on powerups cooking because this has 100% been on my mind.

Spoilers for that, but my general theory is that power creep is a systemic problem that results from flattening the story's conflict struggle into a linear power vs power clash. This is most obvious in stories that are 100% strength-based with things like numerical metrics of "power level" where the thing that determines who wins the fight is who can get the highest number, but it also applies in stories where the starting premise of every new villain is "none of our tricks work on this guy!" Making the new bad guys too tough or otherwise too immune to the heroes' swiss-army skillsets makes everything feel floaty and pointless until the writer finally takes the limiters off and lets them wack 'em for real. It's frustrating because it's designed to be frustrating for both the characters and the audience, but it's also a trap. It locks the writer into an arms race with themself and also devalues all their increasingly cool ideas by virtue of inflation.

Hell, quick tangent, that's why I'll go to bat for one of the most hated mini-twists in the more recent Dragon Ball movies, when in Resurrection of F, Goku is severely injured by a regular laser pistol because it was a sneak attack in the back he wasn't ready for. Everyone got so mad, because of course he's like eight powerups past Super Saiyan at this point and it feels ludicrous that this could hurt him when Frieza death-beams couldn't, but it added a twist of actual stakes to these literal physical gods by recontextualizing their toughness as requiring awareness, preparedness and training. A sneak attack from a random minion could still take them out! Suddenly this conflict structure wasn't just power vs power, because stealth was a factor that could sidestep that power clash and render all those fancy new forms completely unhelpful.

Writing this story is already kind of a hard-mode thing, because I like making characters that are blatantly quite overpowered. There are things that every one of these protagonists are just too strong or tough or magical or socially powerful to (typically) worry about. Alinua is, frankly, basically never in danger of dying, and if she has time she can do feats of magic on a very large scale that basically can't be matched. Kendal and Falst are strong and tough enough to shrug off or push through physical injuries that could incapacitate or kill the others, and Kendal literally has multiple gods on his side, though that's not always a good or helpful thing. Tess is extremely hard to trap or slow down, and bladed/edged weapons have a lot of trouble with her. Erin is so versatile there are almost no situations where he's legitimately powerless, and he's very good at coming up with plans. Dainix has a one-two punch of a ton of combat training and a super-mode that pops out when he's in serious danger or overly stressed, which in writing-land is basically a get-out-of-danger-free card.

I think the trick is that all of these things are overpowered in specific directions, and they are not so overpowered that they can completely disregard other threats.

Kendal and Falst are not so strong and tough that they can just brute-force their way through, say, an entire city or an army of bad guys, and Tess isn't agile enough to completely run away from everybody, which is why they still need to be strategic when dealing with an enemy city, and why Tess's lack of tactical planning in Zuurith was starting to get her worn down by sheer numbers.

Erin and Alinua are ludicrously powerful, but on a much slower timescale than their teammates, so they're vulnerable to incapacitation by fast and agile opponents - and because of the way their magic works, if they're rendered unable to channel energy - like in the fight in Gleicann's forest - they're completely helpless. Because this is a weakness all mages have, everybody knows about it.

Erin has a high amount of social and political clout, but that means he has to play by a set of rules that basically nobody else does in order to retain that clout. He's dealing with a space of danger and complexities whenever they're dealing with other political powers, and he's doing it completely alone.

Dainix's regular non-Crucible form, despite being a highly trained and capable warrior, is just as vulnerable to physical threats as any normal non-mage human, making him the least prepared for a straight fight - and his Crucible form is barely understood and even harder to control, making it a tool that's very, very risky to rely on. He doesn't yet know what all his abilities are or what they cost him to use, and the first time it happened he was out of commission for weeks, so he knows there's risk attached.

There are always perpendicular threats or environmental factors that can hamper our heroes and feel totally logical in doing so, as long as their powerup is not just narrative shorthand for "okay they can win now." I steer clear of "the power of friendship has given me the boost I needed" because you can do that anywhere in any situation. I caveat'd the hell out of Vash's literal divine intervention in chapter 18 because "the literal physical god with perfect regeneration and supernova powers can show up at any time" is the kind of absolute stakes-killer I know better than to give free rein. There was an earlier draft where Vash could still heal Kendal (sort of retroactive spoiler alert, for a very long time there was a version of this fight where his enemy fully took off one of Kendal's arms and when Vash took him over he reformed it) but I had a dang good reason to not do that, so I didn't. Giving Kendal imperfect control over Vash's starfire abilities is narratively dangerous in the power-creep longterm forecast, but the fact is, even in the absolute best-case scenario where he gains perfect, effortless control over the raw fragment of a living star, I can still tie those powers to Kendal having access to the sword, and there are still lots of problems that cannot be solved by setting them on fire.

And even if a tool could be used to solve a problem, I think it's very important to focus on whether or not the character would be willing to do that. This is something I focused on a lot in the next couple chapters with how Dainix and Falst are gonna navigate the SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER. Kendal is, for the most part, totally unwilling to kill anything that isn't a chimera, severely limiting the practical applications of being able to crack rocks with his bare hands. Erin could theoretically solve most of his social conflicts through displays of raw magical power to intimidate or brute force his problems, but if he goes wild and stops being seen as a reasonable political player, he loses all of that oh-so-important social capital that makes people value him for more than just a talent for violence. Alinua knows full well the terrifying potential of her magic power, and all the horrible things it could do to anyone and everyone if she pushed her power past their limits, but spending ten years terrified of doing exactly that has left her completely unwilling to even consider that, even for people she hates.

So yea, it's a delicate balance I'm doing my level best to maintain, while still making sure our heroes get their wins and make progress. Reassuring to hear it's working out okay so far!

[juiceboxman]

So I took Siobhan’s advice and listened to the BBC’s radio adaptation of the Lord of the Rings from the 80′s

It’s pretty good, you can listen to it here https://soundcloud.com/inkmore/sets/lord-of-the-rings-radio 

I had some issues with it but I liked it for the most part. I’m not a massive LoTR fan, only watched the films so I don’t know much, but here are the thoughts I had.

I once heard someone describe Hobbits and the Shire as “drama free people” after listening to this series, that’s obviously not the case. Hobbits seem to live for the drama, always talking shit behind one anothers back. I think Tolkien was trying to satirise rural or village life in England and I think he did a good job depicting how petty people can be.

Sam is a working class hero and Frodo doesn’t deserve him.

I understand how people can like Sam/Frodo because there is massive gay vibes coming off them. Personally I interpreted it to be unrequited and an example of some class division, with Sam being working class and Frodo being middle class. The amount of dedication and support Sam shows Frodo I don’t think Frodo would show back if the roles were reversed. I feel like its a very one sided relationship with Sam putting in way more effort than Frodo.

Bilbo’s whole thing seems to be that he went on a gap year once that turned out quite bad and now he kinda lives like a hermit.

I don’t know how reliable to the books the Radio series is, but I feel like the movies do more justice to stuff. Like in the Radio drama Gandalf makes his first appearance by just coming through the door and Bilbo is like “ah, Gandalf” and...that’s it. Movie version was better in my opinion.

I think the radio drama does a lot better to explain what the ring of power does than the movies. I always got confused by what the ring does, like in the movies all it seems to do is turn people invisible and make them into heroin addicts. With the radio I kinda understand more about it. Like the ring’s power kinda depends on the wearer, like a Hobbit could simply use it for invisibility and expanding their life force but a King could use it to control the minds of an entire enemy army and a Wizard could do even more. But it’s still vague and I presume Tolkien intended it to be, like it’s just a representation of the concept of power and this world’s equivalent of a deal with the devil. Power or wishes may be commanded but they will ultimately corrupt you.

Time in the books seem wild. Like at one point Gandalf says that Bilbo has gone off and he himself will start researching the ring and then twelve years go by and Frodo has just been fucking about, forgot that the ring even existed and Gandalf comes back and is like “oh yeah, ring is bad”

Also, Frodo is 50 when he leaves the shire???? Jesus 

Also, were the Nazgul just running about for 12 years looking for the ring? Like at one point the Nazgul knocked on some Hobbit’s door asking about Frodo and the Hobbit told him to go fuck himself and slammed a door- to a NAZGUL

Aragon’s voice in this radio drama is...way off. Like it sounds like Greg Davies. You don’t really have the soft voice of Viggo Mortinstein but the gruff righteous voice of the Principal from the Inbetweeners 

Elrond denying Aragon to marry his daughter until he becomes king of Gondor is like a stern dad refusing you to date his daughter until you get a real job.

Also Aragon gets the reforged sword, like, immediately when they leave Riverdale. Which is a bit weird to me.

It makes sense why Frodo is trusted with the ring. A king couldn’t be trusted because he’d use it for conquest. A Wizard could overthrow Sauron but in doing so would become just as bad so you’re back to square one. With a Hobbit, there is no desire for conquest or any wish for power outside of simply having the ring. Even when Golum had it all he used it for was to hunt fish and extend his life cycle. I’m curious of whether if Sam had carried the ring all the way to Mordor if he could will himself to destroy it or would he have failed like Frodo. 

Gimly and Legolas’ friendship is so cute. Like they start off disliking eachother but bond over their prowess in combat and plan out a gap year after the whole fellowship where they see the sights of middle earth. So wholesome

I don’t understand why they didn’t just kill Golum. Like I know he was important to find the way to Mordor and was ultimately necessary to destroy the ring after Frodo failed, but like the idea of “don’t kill him because of pity and he also probably has a part to play” is bullshit to me. Like he’s so gross and troublesome. It’s the same excuse Jedi have with “oh you can’t kill a Sith Lord because striking them down means you need to embrace the dark side” bitch Luke Skywalker round house kicked a guy into a Sarlack Pick- whaddya mean he can’t kill this wrinkly ass Emperor??? Ethical mental gymnastics are mind blowing.

For me the moment that made me really dig the series was when the Fellowship disbanded. Like shit hit the fan and everyone’s forced to do their own shit, really engaging storytelling.

The series is quite short when you consider all the battles are short cutted. Like in the radio drama you’ll hear a series of grunts for 30 seconds and then a song about how bad that battle was. I guess it would take a lot to depict a battle purely by means of audio.

Seriously the series is quite short, like it’s 13 hour long episodes and by episode five I’m like “oh shit we’re starting the second book already? Damn” It felt half the time there was so much stuff cut out I don’t know why

I think the radio drama is best suited for people who have either watched the movies or read the books. Like I don’t think it’s well suited for people who haven’t seen LoTR content before. Like the scene with the Balrog there is no description of what it looks like.

Also, Gandalf fought the Balrog from the deepest dungeons to the tip of the mountain? Damn, Gandalf’s leg day must be intense

I love the introduction of Treebeard and the Ents. Like you get this horrific imagery with warring Orcs and other evil creatures and then turn a hard 180 to these hilarious tree people. I guess that’s why the LoTR is so great. Because you do get those hard, gruesome battles but you also get these lovely peaceful wholesome scenes.

Quick question, how do you meet a guy called Saruman and then be surprised that he’s the bad guy? It’s the same deal with Victor VonDoom.

Also, did Tolkien have to have all the big villains names sound so similar?

Man, Tolkien loves having people end up together. With the Horse Princess who got friendzoned by Aragorn meeting up with that guy from Gondor. You love to see it

So like, was the King of Nazgul just talking shit or can he not be killed by a man? Like could anyone kill him by stabbing him the face or did the Horse Princess just find a loophole?

At one point this woman kinda makes fun of this flower called Kings Seed or some shit and Aragon basically calls her a THOT 

Kinda sad the series didn’t have more dragons. Like I would have liked to see a huge black dragon at the final battle at Mordor. But that’s just me, I love me some dragons

Also, the final battle at the gates of Mordor is so endearing. Like they don’t even know if Frodo and Sam are still alive but they go to war anyway because they believe they are and in doing so keep the eye of Sauron off of them. It’s really heart warming

The radio’s version of the destruction of the ring is kinda anticlimactic. Like I said it’s better with the dialogue than it is at the representation of physical actions like combat. Like if you didn’t know what happened at the end of the lord of the rings and you were listening to this you would have no idea that Golum fell into the lava with the ring 

I love the owner of the Prancing Pony’s reaction to Aragon becoming King of Gondor. It’s like “hey, remember that guy you saw shit in the woods that one time? Yeah he’s the President”

Also Sam’s Pony lives at the end of it. Love to see it. I feel like Tolkien read his first draft to his kids and they were like “what happened to Sam’s pony?” and he was like “uh, yeah, the pony....the pony lived! yes! the pony found its way back to town” you can tell this story is vibing on a different level than GoT or ACOC

Hobbits returning to the Shire fucking shit up like level 16 PCs returning to the town they started the campaign in

Also, all the Hobbits in the shire have no idea what the fuck went down? Like I understand they live in the middle or nowhere but that’s astounding 

It’s so funny what ends up happening to Saruman. Like he goes from being the second in command of the Dark Lord to being a shitty local businessman in a Village in Yorkshire

I can see how people can really get into the LotR. Like a world like GoT is just fucked beyond compare and any happy ending will be bittersweet at most. But here you have an ending where the characters leave the world better than when they found it

Frodo asking Sam to live with him was him totally trying to get with Sam, right? And Sam was like “oh that’s nice Frodo, but I have gf” and Frodo’s like “oh that’s alright, she can move in too!” it’s like watching a man back step his request for love by inviting a family into his home. You missed your shot Frodo! You had a whole year with Sam and you blew it!

Sam ultimately moving on from Frodo with his thicc Hobbit gf is the character development we deserved

That said, in the movies Sam getting a gf was a thing at the end of the third movie- like he’d been so shy before hand but after almost dying he’s like “fuck it, might as well give my shot” but here in radio drama he...had a gf all along? Like we only hear about her in the final episode and he’s like “oh yeah, my gf ain’t too happy. I left her for a year to fuck about with you so now I need to marry her. Woops” very startling

Also love how Tolkien represented PTSD with Frodo. I don’t think works of Fantasy like this before Tolkien really did this stuff justice. That said the ending is a bit weird. Like I understand that the “Undying Lands” are supposed to reflect Tolkien’s belief in Catholicism, Eternal Life and Heaven. But it’s really hard to not interpret the ending as Frodo as struggling to deal with his PTSD so he commits suicide. Because the Undying Lands is a place that Sam cannot follow. It’s heart breaking but that’s the vibe I got off the ending.

So yeah, there’s my thoughts. It’s pretty good but I’d only recommend the series to anyone who’s either seen the movies or read the books. If this was your first introduction to LOTR I don’t know if that would be any good. 

Also, while we’re here I recommend Escape from the Bloodkeep from Dimension 20. It’s  DnD actual play series that is a slight parody of LOTR. It’s really good.

[nerdsideofthemedia]

Should the term “Mary Sue” be retired?

The original. 

I didn’t have any intention of posting my non-RWBY, non-MHA blog posts here, but here’s this one seems to be becoming important with the rise of the claims that Arya Stark is a Mary Sue. So here it goes:

In my walks through Dan Olson’s twitter, I came across this:

Which got me thinking: is the term “Mary Sue” completely pointless?

Before I wonder about this question, let’s take a quick journey through time. In the 70s, Paula Smith noticed a character pattern among the Star Trek fanfic and created a parody to point this out, “A Trekkies’s Tale”, whose protagonist was called Mary Sue. During the following years, the “Mary Sue” wasn’t necessarily considered as something bad, instead it was considered as a phase every writer will go through as it was intimately associated with self-inserts and was only applied to fan-fictions1;2.

In recent years, the term has left the fanfic and began being applied to original fiction too, losing its meaning along the way and gaining a pretty negative connotation. In fact, nowadays, “Mary Sue” is such an extremely subjective term that even TV Tropes admits:

“TV Tropes doesn’t get to set what the term means, the best we can do is capture the way it is used.” 1

Hell, I’ve even come across with this subjectivity, as once I called Orihime from Bleach a Mary Sue, on youtube, and one person defended my use of it by explaining she was liked by everyone, which wasn’t the reason I considered a Mary Sue to begin with and consider that justification to be pretty dumb.

Why is being liked by everyone not a good parameter?

Have you ever read/watched a shonen? Most of the good guys are on good terms. Even when there is some animosity between a main character and another one, it’s usually because of the other, like Vegeta from Dragon Ball Z, who dislikes Goku because he’s better than him, not because of anything egregious the latter did. In “My Hero Academia”, Bakugo hated Midoriya mostly because of pride and arrogance (they are now on good terms).  Yes, the Avengers may have not loved each other from the get-go, but, by the end of the film, they were ready to live happily ever after. And when the sequels even stop (they never will), they will end up being on good terms.

Another definition of what is a “Mary Sue” is it’s a character that is overpowered/great set of skills + tragic backstory, (sometimes even without the latter). So let’s take a look at:

Superman: an alien whose planet was destroyed, adopted by 2 humans, and has a set of skills that would make Goku turn… Well, he would probably just find it cool, but Vegeta’s head would explode for sure as he threw a temper tantrum. His powers include flying, super speed and strength (to the point of almost completely invulnerability), X-ray and heat vision.

Bruce Wayne: a poor (not literally) orphan who was raised by his butler and whose riches go beyond Taylor Swift’s wildest dreams, let alone poor (far more literal) little us. Thanks to it, he has access to technology that has little to no limitations, yet his money never ends.

Goku: an alien whose planet was destroyed, adopted by an old man who was killed by him in giant monkey-form. Not only he can fly, he is particularly powerful even for his people even though he’s a low-level specimen according to the planet’s hierarchic structure.

Ichigo: a guy who turns out to be part-Hollow, part-Shinigami, part-Vizard, part-who-the-hell-even-cares-anymore, even though some of them are pretty rare.

Harry Potter: an orphan raised by his aunt and her family, who all treat him badly, finds out he’s a wizard and finds out his parents have left him a mountain of gold (literally). Everyone either admires him or feels jealous as he is famous for “defeating” a particularly powerful wizard as a baby, without any damages besides a scar. He’s also part of a prophecy.

What about those self-inserts?

I guess we could still use the term as just a self-insert, but considering that most of the time we don’t know the writers, then we can only know their self-insertion if they tell us.

It also doesn’t justify its negative connotation. Writers are people, I presume, which means they have flaws. So why is a character based on oneself bad? Provided the writers are realistic and self-aware, those should be some of the most realistic characters. Now, I know there’s a trap in here, which is the tendency of favoring ourselves and make us just a bit (or a lot) more special than we actually are, but 1) this doesn’t necessarily happen to every self-insert; 2) that can happen whenever writers begin to favor a character for whatever reason, even if it wasn’t a self-insert, leading it to become more and more special or less flawed.

They’re the personification of perfection.

OK, except perfection seems to be kind of subjective, since what I like isn’t the same as everyone else’s. I mean I may like active characters and some may like passive characters. You may think perfection is pizza without pineapple, while I say “you are objectively wrong”.

Jokes asides, being different human beings, usually we end up writing “perfect” characters with our definition of it, which may not correspond to someone else’s.

For example, Bella Swan is called “Mary Sue” a lot for being perfect, but she’s deeply flawed. She’s co-dependent and suicidal. Edward Cullen is the one “Gary Stu” that actually stuck, yet he’s manipulative and a stalker. Yet, there is truth to the claim they are perfect, not to me, but to Stephanie Meyers as they are both idealizations to her, regardless of our opinions of them.

I suppose a character can be drop dead gorgeous, have all sorts of skills and being loved by everyone, but, eventually, he/she will make something that many will consider to be wrong. If that doesn’t happen, then there’s probability not a good conflict, which reveals that, maybe, the problem is in the story itself, not necessarily in the character.

Speaking of subjectivity in flaws and virtues…

“So why did you used to call Orihime a Mary Sue?”

Well, because I thought her flaws were inconsequential with Bleach begging me to sympathize with her for awful reasons and smart characters being really stupid, meaning causing unnecessary plot-hole or plot-contrivance for her. The few most glaring examples I recall (and I’ve read/watched Bleach at least half a century ago, so it’s possible there are a few lapses in my memory) being:

Her almost kissing Ichigo while he was unconscious. That scene is framed as if I am supposed to sympathize with her, instead of what it actually is: creepy as hell and also falls under almost sexual assault in many countries.

Her having an obsession for Ichigo to the point of only thanking him for coming for her in her mind, even though Rukia, Chad, Uryu and Renji were also there to save her. This again is framed as I’m supposed to empathize with her, instead of thinking she’s being narrow-minded and has an unhealthy obsession with Ichigo.

About others acting stupid: Uryu takes her to where Ichigo and Ulquiorra are fighting even though where they were before, Ichigo was losing cause he was holding back to avoid hurting her. Yes, the other place was bigger, but their powers were huge and Uryu taking Orihime should have been a stupid idea (and he’s supposed to be smart).

Not to mention, of course, she resurrects Ichigo by crying and yelling his name which was also major bullshit.

And yes, it’s time to talk about the gender-thing and to admit to my own prejudices despite being a woman, because Orihime isn’t the only character I know who has her flaws not being acknowledged or being perceived as good. Many male characters have all of those yet, I still don’t call them “Gary Stu” or any other male equivalent.

Sun Wukong from RWBY has pretty much all the same problems as Orihime: he stalks Blake for months yet faces no actual consequences. And his actions were framed in the show as “needed”, even though they weren’t since the entire Menagerie arc could be written without him with only minor changes. Creepy actions being framed as right and sympathetic – check.

He also abandons his team several times, which, again, was inconsequential (even if he confesses to being an awful leader in V6) and no way in hell a combat school would interrupt classes for an entire year. He’s completely oblivious of the Faunus struggle, though he’s a Faunus and goes to school in one of the most racist territories. And Blake goes from super paranoid to so relaxed she doesn’t even believe him when he says he saw a WF member wearing a mask for no apparent reason. If I had to guess it’s because if she kept being super paranoid, it would stand to reason she would be the one noticing Ilia spying all by herself, rendering him almost useless and without interrupting her talk to Ghira, which would have made Sun completely pointless. At some point, Orihime became all about Ichigo, Sun was always all about Blake (until V6).

Like I said, I have criticized Sun for being badly written, unnecessary and the contrivances his presence demanded, but I have never ever called a “Gary Stu”. Looking back, I think it’s a combination of a few reason:

I know “Mary Sue” is a term too subjective to be used without an explanation afterwards;

We just don’t tend to hold the same standards for male characters;

Even when we use them for male characters, it almost never sticks.

And I know I’m not the only one doing this.

Once, I came across an article that accused several characters of being a “Mary Sue”, including Orihime, but because she’s too perfect (are you sure about that?) and Sailor Moon, yet claimed Goku wasn’t one.  It’s particularly funny, because Sailor Moon is written to be more flawed than Goku (even if I much higher tolerance for Dragon Ball and DBZ to Sailor Moon).

Goku is an absent father and husband, yet his family never really holds that against him. His wife may complain about it a few times during the anime, but there’s no real strife between them and Gohan never holds it against him either. He gives Cell a senzu bean so that he and Gohan can have a fair fight, even though the entire world is at stake. It still is mostly inconsequential, until Gohan’s arrogance gets in the way.

Meanwhile, Sailor Moon is stupid, coward and petty many times, and it’s clear the writers knew it because they acknowledge those flaws within the show. She is mocked because of them, and her lack of resilience even leads to the death of one of the Sailors in a season finale, if I remember correctly (admittedly, I watched it 5 centuries ago, so I might be wrong). Yes, I know they come back from the death.

This is not an argument that Goku should be called a “Mary Sue/Gary Stu”, rather that the term is heavily gendered. It’s much more applied to female characters and even when used for a male one, it almost never sticks. Even in the example I gave, Edward Cullen, which was successfully labeled as “Gary Stu”, still feels like it was gendered-motivated. Not because of his own, obviously, but for the target audience’s: the majority girls and women. So there we notice another double-standard: the sex of the target audience also affects the claims to “Sueness”.

Ultimately, I have to agree with Dan, with the term “Mary Sue” being too subjective to actually have any validity and is deeply rooted in sexism. Explaining why a character doesn’t work for us  and why we think they’re badly written is far more productive. Let’s keep in mind, we aren’t supposed to like every character writers make, even the ones who are meant to be likable and relatable.

Note: Yes, I watched Overly Sarcastic Productions’ video on the subject. While I like Red’s take, I’d say almost no character in original fiction fits the mold. That in itself wouldn’t be the problem, but the fact that it will remain extremely subjective, I still find the term to be counter-productive, heavily gendered and it needs to die.

1 – https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MarySue

2 – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Sue

[quiet-onset]

Real Life (7)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 1,264

Tag List: @girlwhoisfearless, @lordemjay, @skeletoresinthebasement, @givemeanorigami

Halloween Special

“Y/N, come on, kids will be trick or treating soon.”

“We have four hours, Bucky, calm down.”

Bucky was waiting in your living room for you to finish getting dressed, his Captain America suit sticking to his skin. You’d insisted on running home to change into your costume before trick or treaters came by the Complex, so Bucky figured he’d tag along.

After all, he wanted to see who you’d gotten for this costume game that Thor had suggested. Seeing you dressed as someone from the team was destined to be a treat, especially after all the stories he’d heard about your Halloween costumes.

“Y/N.” He groaned for the umpteenth time.

“I’m done.” Your voice sounded closer this time. He figured you were waiting in the hallway. “Are you ready to see the most amazing costume ever?”

“If it means we can finally go to the store, then yes.”

When you jumped out, Bucky couldn’t contain his smile.

Black cargo pants covered your legs and combat boots were clad on your feet. You had about three different gun holsters, all filled with Nerf guns that were painted black, and the shirt you wore fitted your form perfectly. And to top it all off, your left arm looked just like his. You’d made your own metal arm cover in the lab. You bit you lip and looked over at him. “Do you like it?”

“You got me?”

“No, I got the other dude with a metal arm on the team.”

“You look… wow.”

“A good wow, I hope.” You said shyly.

“A great wow.” He chuckled. “And the arm? Was that your secret project you kept hiding from me?”

“Well, I couldn’t let you see it! That would’ve ruined the surprise.” You said, walking across the room to grab your wallet. “Now, we’re twins.”

You made your way to the front door while Bucky followed behind, an amused smirk on his face. He had to admit, you looked better in his combat gear than he ever had. His eyes couldn’t help but roam your body from behind as you opened the front door. He was quick to look up when you turned around. “By the way, your costume is really nice, too. You look great.”

He snorted, answering sarcastically, “Thanks. Maybe I’ll take up the mantle.”

“I’m sure if Steve’s stubborn ass ever retired, you’d be first on the list.” You nodded, letting him exit first so you could lock the door. You heard him heave out a sigh as you turned around. “What?”

“I couldn’t.”

“And why not?”

“Y/N.” He paused, drawing a breath. He shrugged, “I’ve done things, doll.”

“I know that.” You told him. “But I also know that you are doing things. Things that are making the world better and safer. You are one hundred and ten percent worthy of taking up Steve’s mantle.”

Bucky felt his heart swell as he saw a flame in your eyes. The only other person that ever showed him that level of compassion was Steve. He couldn’t help but smile at the little crease between your eyebrows as you attempted to make him understand his value. You shook your head a little at his smile, confused as ever, “What?

“Nothing.” He said. “Just… thank you.”

“I’m just stating facts.” You said, shoving your keys into one of your many pockets. “Now, let’s go get some candy.”

Half an hour later, you and Bucky were roaming around the store. He’d wandered away a few minutes ago to get some things for himself, so were left alone to buy tons of candy for trick or treaters. You’d picked up a large bag on mini chocolate bars when you heard a small woah from the end of the aisle. When you looked up, two little boys, one dressed as Spiderman and the other as Falcon, came running toward you.

“Your costume is so cool!”

“Yeah, where’d you get the arm?”

You smiled, dropping the bag of candy into your basket. “I made it.”

“Woah!” They both said simultaneously.

They were both telling you how cool the Winter Soldier is and asking if they could touch your arm when their mother came jogging down the aisle. “I am so sorry. They’re so fast.”

“It’s fine, really.”

“So,” Mini Falcon started, “Do you know the Winter Soldier?”

His mother parted her lips to scold them for being intrusive, but you smiled slyly. “As a matter of fact, I do.”

“No way!” Mini Falcon jumped up and down.

“Can we meet him?” Mini Spidey asked.

Your smirked, crouching down to their height, “I’ll tell you what. If you guys help me pick out some candy for trick or treaters, you can meet him right now.”

A few aisles over, Bucky threw a new razor in his basket and continued down the aisle for shaving cream. As he looked for his usual, he felt a small tap on his back, followed by some giggles. He turned around and looked to the floor, seeing one of your Nerf bullets on the ground. Suddenly, another one hit him directly in the center of the star on his chest.

You and the mini heroes popped out from the end of the aisle, giant grins on their lips. “Well, go say hi.” You told them.

They took off up the aisle to meet Bucky, who had a hesitant smile on his lips as he crouched down to meet the two boys.

“You’re the best Avenger!” Mini Spidey said.

“Yeah, we both wanted to be you for Halloween, but Mom made us chose someone else ‘cause we were fighting over it.” Mini Falcon explained giddily.

Bucky’s brow sprang up as he smiled at them. “Oh yeah?”

“Definitely! But Captain America is a close second.”

“Yeah! You beat up the bad guys and keep us safe.”

Bucky looked up at you as you bit your lip to try and hide your smile. Not only was Bucky adorably hesitant with kids, but he was finally getting the appreciation he deserves. You watched it all with a grin as they took pictures with Bucky, and he signed their trick or treating pumpkins. When they left with their mother, raving about the both of you, Bucky strolled over to you with an amused smile. “Where’d you find my two biggest fans?”

“They found me.” You chuckled, following him to the cash register.

“Hey.” He nudged you with his basket. “Thanks for that. Seriously.”

You shrugged, looking down as Bucky smiled warmly at. “You deserve it.”

As you approached the cashier, Bucky glanced down at his watch. “Well, we have three and a half hours to kill before we have to get back with the candy.” He watched you carefully as you began to place your items on the counter. “What do you say we grab some dinner?”

You looked up, “Dinner?”

“Obviously some place not too fancy since we are in full costume. Plus, we can use Tony’s card.”

“That’s for business.”

“So we’ll discuss business.” He shrugged nonchalantly. “Come on.”

When you looked into Bucky’s eyes, you see the hope that Bucky was so desperately trying to hide. He wanted nothing more than to take you on a date, but he was so scared of rejection that he never asked. This was the closest he’d ever gotten, and you thanked God that he did. You smiled shyly and nodded, “Sure. That’d be great.”

“Cool.” Bucky discreetly let out his breath as he handed the cashier Tony’s black card. “Tony’s gonna be furious.”

“I know. It’ll be hilarious.”

Forever Tags:

@kimmy-h-life, @ben-platt-deserves-the-world, @thewordofthenerd, @wishuponastarlana, @yumeli21, @here-for-your-bullshit, @bethbat, @iamafangirlofeverything, @loveisloveandmorepeopleneedit

[stompsite]

So I Played FFXV

In most of my articles, I start out by presenting a problem. Maybe a lot of gamers hate zombies, and I want to write about a zombie game I love, so I present the problem of the zombie game, explaining in detail why I’m sympathetic to the concerns of people who hate zombie games, before explaining how the zombie game I love gets around that problem.

I do this because we’re rarely wrong about our feelings, but we’re often wrong about why. If I wrote “here’s a good zombie game,” no one would want to read that if they don’t like zombie games. By writing “this is why zombie games bore you and here’s how zombie games can excite you,” I appeal to a broader audience.

This brings me to Final Fantasy XV, a game one of my backers asked me to cover.

Good games writing often happens when an expert explains the ins and outs of a genre they know well to an audience they assume are quite intelligent but aren’t as familiar with the subject as they are. When I wrote about walking sims last year, I sat down and I went “okay, a lot of you are bored with walking sims. Why is that?” My editor’s boss didn’t seem to like it that much, insisting that the walking sim didn’t need any defending (even though The Chinese Room, developers of walking sims, had just shut down, and Tacoma, a walking sim with magazine covers, had sold a mere 10,000 copies). But I think people have strong feelings about things and they want to understand those feelings, so having an expert help them out without talking down to them is wonderful.

A little bit of history.

I may be an expert on video games, but I am most assuredly not an expert on JRPGs.

Unlike most people, I didn’t grow up with video game consoles. I saw a meme posted the other day saying “you can’t argue with me about games unless your first console was a Genesis or NES.” Mine was an Xbox 360, but I’ve been playing computer games for a great deal longer. Since Japan didn’t make many computer games (oh, sure, Final Fantasy VII was developed for Windows 95, but I don’t recall seeing it amidst the Diablo 2, Planescape Torment, and Half-Life boxes at CompUSA back in the day), JRPGs were never really a part of my gaming diet.

It’s not to say that JRPGs weren’t appealing. When my wisdom teeth were pulled, my mom brought our little 13” portable TV into my room and let me watch movies. I stumbled upon UHF channel 53, which broadcast a pirated version of TechTV, which was, at the time, airing Anime Unleashed, a block of awesome anime shows like Last Exile and Crest of the Stars. Most anime I’d seen up to that point was the stuff we got on kid’s shows, like Yu-Gi-Oh! and Pokemon. Digimon aside, most of it was garbage. Watching Boogiepop Phantom or Serial Experiments Lain during late nights on this stupid little black and white TV was something else entirely.

Since then, I’ve loved good anime aesthetics, so you’d think that JRPGs would be my jam. I thought so too, which is why I started talking to friends about them, but every time I did, my friends would talk about what confusing bullshit they were--especially, at the time, Final Fantasy X. “...but Final Fantasy VIII is better!” they’d tell me, and of course I’d ask them about that, and they’d tell me even more confusing bullshit. Plus, the whole turn-based gameplay thing was a huge turnoff. I got into other games, like Age of Empires and Unreal Tournament. They were more interesting. Games like Max Payne had way better stories than Final Fantasy VIII, that’s for sure.

Once, someone got me into Earthbound on an emulator, and I fell in love with it, until someone kidnapped zippy--I think she has a ‘real’ canon name but I don’t know what it is and I don’t want to know--and I couldn’t beat any of the fights because I didn’t understand the concept of grinding. Over the years, I tried other JRPGs, because the premise and the art sounded cool, but I bounced off the gameplay or the presentation time and time again. The closest I got to loving a JRPG was Dragon’s Dogma, and that was more of an open world sandbox game than any kind of RPG.

This brings me to another point.

JRPGs aren’t RPGs.

People usually protest when I make this point. Either I’m wrong or it doesn’t matter, they say, but I think it does matter because I’m a game designer, and understanding the specifics of genre is a really useful skill for a game designer to have. When I look at the JRPG, I see a lot of very specific elements that make them stand apart. If I say “I want to make an RPG,” chances are, I will not make something like a JRPG. If I say “I want to make a JRPG,” I will. The mechanics are distinct and interesting and worth examining on their own; no JRPG in existence could ever stand up to even a half-decent RPG if we judged it by RPG terms. The roleplaying just isn’t there.

Judging JRPGs by their own standards lets us see these wonderful games for what they really are. JRPGs are not RPGs from Japan. They’re not even RPGs. Once, when I made this argument, a guy fought back by arguing that a game wasn’t an RPG unless it had a party (Witcher 3 doesn’t), a bestiary (pretty sure New Vegas hasn’t got one), was turn-based (quick, someone tell Dragon Age!), and had a linear narrative (hahahahahahaha!).

“But you’re playing a role!”

Playing a role means following a script, which is what you do in any game without choice and consequence. Roleplay is a specific kind of improvisational acting that’s about creating and defining your relationship with the world around you. Dragon Age: Origins is a roleplaying game: you can be a dwarf commoner or a human noble or whatever, and your various choices will have major impacts on your relationships. You can define the person that you are. They are tabula rasa.

In every JRPG I’ve ever seen, you are a specific character with a specific personality, and while you may have some choices--Noctis in FFXV can choose to let the crew pull over and take a group photo whenever Prompto asks him too--those choices have little impact on the overall narrative or Noctis’ relationships with the characters around him. Lunafreya will always love him, Gladiolus will always get mad at him when Ignis loses his vision, etc.

Different kinds of games.

Pillars of Eternity, which isn’t a great game, but one I enjoyed well enough, let me set my character’s stats prior to playing the game. I defined my character as a rogue with great mechanical skills and dexterity. In Final Fantasy XV, when you level up… you can’t really control how your character’s stats changed.

None of this is bad! It’s just different, like the difference between a third person shooter and a first person shooter. First person shooting lets you focus on the environment and your interactions with it, but third person shooters tend to focus on your character. They have their own unique strengths. You can’t judge a first person shooter by third person standards and vice versa. The same is true with JRPGs and RPGs. They are different games. And that’s good.

The Game:

When it comes to Final Fantasy XV, this is the foundation I have. I’m vaguely turned off by all the stories I’ve heard, I love the aesthetics of most of them, and the gameplay is something I feel is wholly distinct from other games.

Final Fantasy XV appealed to me because it had real-time action combat instead of being a heavily menu-focused turn-based affair.

So, here’s the deal: you’re Prompto, a prince, who is on his way to meet the object--and really, she is treated like an object in this game--of his arranged marriage, Lunafreya, who’s the princess of a rival kingdom, I guess? Except the wiki says she’s a captive of Niflheim, but she seems to get along well with her brother, who is in charge of the armies of Niflheim, so… like… yeah, I don’t really know what’s going on there.

The wiki also says she’s the “main heroine” of the game, even though she barely has any screen time at all. She has magical powers that cures people of some weird plague that’s making nights last longer, except that the nights are still getting longer and more people are succumbing to the plague, so she’s really bad at her job.

Honestly, she’s just there to look pretty and say things like “Noct, please hurry.” Then she dies. Then one time her ghost shows up and uses force powers to save the crew by removing plot armor that was only put there so she could show up to remove it.

She is not emotionally important to you.

This isn’t like Alan Wake, a game that reveals over time the complex nature of Alan’s relationship and just how wonderful of a person Alice Wake is. In that game, Alan was motivated by guilt, and you, as a player, could connect to him because you got to see all of this unfold. You wanted to help Alan find Alice not because “Alice is Alan’s wife,” but because you saw that these two wonderful, flawed people loved and cared for each other and deserved happiness.

Lunafreya is a pantomime of a love interest, but there’s never any real love there, so there’s no urgency to actually chase her down, no sense of loss when she dies. It’s not all her fault though (I mean, duh, it’s Square’s fault). Noct is equally culpable. He’s just… kinda empty. He’s a shell who occasionally feels things when the script calls for it (ur dad died, be sad, ur gf died, be sad), but who doesn’t feel like a real person. I don’t really care about anything Noct wants. I just kind of do the objectives because they’re what’s next.

I spent my whole life being told that JRPG stories were the best that video games had to offer, and… look, being completely honest here, Final Fantasy XV is the JRPG plot as described to me--incomprehensible, pointless, and horribly paced, doing grandiose things because the developers want to do grandiose things, never earning a second of the awe it expects you to have.

“Yup,” I found myself thinking when I finished it, “this is exactly like every JRPG that has ever been described to me except Earthbound.”

Earthbound is great.

Final Fantasy XV makes the mistake of assuming that because it looks epic, it is epic, but since it earns nothing, it isn’t epic at all. It’s a hodgepodge of ideas. Maybe other JRPGs do a better job, but based on every other JRPG I’ve played, like Xenoblade Chronicles and Suikoden, it’s just not a very compelling game.

So it may surprise you to know that I liked it a great deal.

Brotherhood.

In my film education, we talked a great deal about the idea of the “male as default.” A lot of this is rooted in idiotic Freudian psychology (especially all the Lacan stuff), so it’s as bunk as astrology, even when it sounds good, but let’s not throw the baby out with the bathwater here: all media has a perspective, and most media’s perspective assumes the male perspective as the neutral one.

American film does this too: it assumes everything is seen through American eyes. Most Hollywood movies are very, very American-as-default things, but that doesn’t mean they’re American movies. I’m not just talking geography, I’m talking assumptions about customs, camera angles, lighting, and so on. Russian film (European films too, but especially Russian film) tends to focus on specific body parts, using juxtaposition in editing to create specific senses about things. American films tend to favor wider shots, creating those same moods through things like motion and staging.

A film from another country can feel like it came from a different mind than the Hollywood monolith…

...and yet…

...there are very few genuinely American films out there. This is partly because most American films are built for export to other countries, so rather than focusing on specifically American subject matter, they focus on more universal things like drama and romance. Since America is so good at exporting American film, and many other cultures imitate the stylings of American films (because learning from successful things is how you succeed, after all), we end up with a very dominant American culture that has very little to actually say about America. In fact, lots of what America is tends to get lost in the shuffle.

If you’re lucky, you get filmmakers like Terrence Malick, who make films that are really about America and being American, but the significance of this is lost because people look at it and go “why do you make American films? All films are American!” But there is something specific there. Something interesting.

Maleness is the same way. It’s the assumed default in a lot of narratives, but because of this, very little attention is given to it. I once walked into the USAF museum while the XB-70 Valkyrie was in one of the hangars and didn’t see it because it was so big I thought it was the ceiling. Maleness in fiction is like that; it’s rarely examined closely because it’s too busy being big.

Here are two men. They are friends. The end.

We rarely look at how men bond, how they perceive each other, how they fight, how they talk and think because we’re too busy writing stories about the basic, empty characters who travel from point A to point B and the adventures they have along the way.

Oh, sure, sometimes you have people interrogating maleness, but they’re really only doing it to say “look what’s bad about being a man,” because they assume that male-as-default means we already see male-as-good, when really, male-as-default is male-as-nonspecifity. The beauty of maleness is rarely ever explored.

Somehow, despite all its narrative shortcomings, Final Fantasy XV excels at its understanding of maleness.

I think a big part of this is the road trip nature of the game. Sure, they’re ostensibly on the run and simultaneously on their way to a wedding, but that doesn’t prevent The Boys from having a good time. Each boy has a specific personality that is brought out in interesting ways; Ignis cares a stickler for safety and rules, Prompto is energetic and mischievous, Gladiolus is strong and confident and protective of those who are not. Noctis is basically an empty shell, but when he’s interacting with The Boys, there are still good moments to be found.

As you drive through the world, fighting monsters and helping friends, you learn more about these boys and the things they care about. Gladiolus is self-conscious about seeming too caring, but he cares so deeply, especially about his little sister Iris. He recognizes her crush on Noctis and even tricks Noctis into giving her flowers, knowing it would make Iris’ day. Prompto’s lower-class upbringing means he’s tremendously insecure about his relationship with the other boys. They’re not aware of how awkward he feels in the presence of people much wealthier and more important than he is, and when he makes it known, they do everything they can to assure him that he’s their brother and they wouldn’t have it any other way.

There’s something else that I’ve never been able to put into words. It’s a feeling I have occasionally, and one I cherish. When interacting with most men, there’s a degree of camaraderie, like, hey, we’re all on the same team, we’re cheering alongside each other, that kind of thing. There’s a whole second language that men are only capable of employing with other men that’s completely nonverbal, but not all men are comfortable using it with each other right away.

There comes a point in a male relationship where everything just sort of clicks. That guy over there is just a man you know, but that guy over there, you and him are mates and you’d fuckin die for each other if you had to. When you do things together, there’s a sense of rightness and appropriateness to it all. If your best friend asks you to help him carry some groceries in from the car, it’s different than if you help your next door neighbor who you don’t really know all that well.

I’m sure other, better writers have written about this sense of brotherhood. When I’m playing Destiny with a matchmade team and we roll an enemy squad into a mercy rule defeat, it feels good. When my friends and I trigger the mercy rule against the same thing, it’s like, heck yeah, these are the men who mean the most to me in this fuckin world and I am so lucky to have them with me.

Final Fantasy XV does its darndest to put this in the mechanics. The boys res each other during battle. They all have unique combo moves that play off each other. The battle barks are all designed to make you feel like… hell yeah, these are my bros, we kick ass together.

How many games just have two dudes talkin about dude things together? How many games are like “yeah, bro, let’s go running in the sand and whoever outruns the other is the winner!” How many games get that great banter is affectionate? How many games are willing to have a bunch of dudes who love each other and will die for each other whose relationships deteriorate over time but they come back from them stronger than ever?

There are a lot of stories about men in games, but very few stories about being a man.

Final Fantasy XV might be the best of ‘em.

And it’s still… dumb and flawed at times. I think I would’ve liked a more interesting protagonist and central conflict. I think the game is at its best when you’re cruising around a big, open world, humming about chocobos. I think Square had the opportunity to make a huge, incredible game about an adventure and they wasted it on a game that gets progressively linear (in a bad way) over time. I mentally checked out by the end of the game. I didn’t care that some random giant dude showed up, I beat the shit out of him, and then I had to fight a couple more dudes just like him, and then after beating them into submission too… we, uh, killed the guy who was stalking us the whole game? Why would I connect with random giant ghost kings when I spent the entire game playing alongside my brothers? Instead they get knocked out and fall asleep on the floor and I have the ending I was always destined to have.

Man, fuck destiny.

The game is great when it’s being personal, but it sucks when it’s trying to do all this other stuff. There are no affectionate moments between Noctis and Lunafreya. Mister Badguy, whose name I forgot and don’t feel like looking up because fuck that guy, he was boring, has to exposit his backstory (i was gonna be king but then i didn’t get to be king so i decided to have my revenge in like 2000 years’ time! mwahahaha!!! here is my entire personal history!) instead of just being interesting on a dramatic level.

It’s bad when it’s trying to be a grandiose RPG. It’s great when it’s doing something I can’t think of any other game doing before. I think you should play the first 8 or 9 chapters of the game. I think everyone should. That’s where the fun lies.

What about the gameplay?

The gameplay is kind of neat. Some stuff doesn’t feel nearly as good as other modern open-world games (like, uh, driving, which is kinda terrible and inconsistent about when it lets you drive, and interrupts your drive in really annoying ways at night, but the attention given to things like “needing to fill up with gas” is really cool).

Other stuff is clearly channeling How JRPGs Work, which is cool. The way the game gives you XP or deals with magic and abilities feels Very Classically JRPG. But it’s all wrapped up in a real-time action game that’s nowhere near as satisfying as Dragon’s Dogma or Ninja Gaiden or something. I’m not saying it has to be, but holding down a button and watching your character autoattack isn’t very fun. Zipping around with your teleport power is totally awesome though.

Magic is super strong and I probably should’ve used it more, but I was never really in love with crafting it. The leveling grid is kinda cool, but I have no idea how, when I did nearly every quest in the game, someone is supposed to unlock some of those skills. It just doesn’t seem possible considering the game’s content.

Quest design isn’t great; most of it’s just random fetch quests. The open world itself is nice most of the time, especially when you have a chocobo, but because the game’s so invested in making you feel like you’re on a road trip, you end up doing a lot of driving which a more generous fast travel system would have avoided, which means you end up seeing a lot of the same places over and over again, which kinda kills the whole road trip vibe.

And So it Ends.

There’s DLC. I never did that. I kinda soured on the whole epic journey by the end because of how boring the solo stuff was, and the DLC appears to be all solo stuff. Sorry, but the overall narrative and the gameplay just isn’t there. That’s not what makes FFXV good. The camaraderie is. The vibes are. Listening to the sizzle of ignis’ cooking or watching a huge monster fly in from above. There are so many incredible moments in this game. It’s too bad the narrative and the combat couldn’t keep up.

I think FFXV benefits and suffers from being a big 3D real-time game. A lot of classic JRPGs are 2D affairs where you have to communicate everything purely through text boxes. FFXV has the benefit of voice and physical performance, adding a huge layer of nuance and personality to its characters, their wants, and needs. But because it’s a big, bombastic 3D game, it can’t help itself, and wastes time with boring, endless set pieces that look cool but do little else.

Could I recommend it? I dunno.

But it kinda makes me want to try other JRPGs, even though there’s really nothing else like it out there.

[dragoneko]

JJBA part 7 volume 3 reactions

It’s been a year since i read this but i’m back and ready for bullshit

no i don’t remember what’s happening except for horse race so i guess i’m going to find out

- Gyro is winning

- oh shit the runner came second?? crazy

- nine stages? no wonder this is 24 books

- can you fake being a cowboy?? what sort of criteria does one need to fulfill to become Cowboy?? is cowboy a state of being

- cowboy or gunslinger... does owning a gun not make you a gunslinger?? are they going to evaluate how well you can sling guns first?? “don’t worry this guy is legit, he passed his gun slinging exams and got good gun grades!”

- why is it so funny they got a blank application and were just like, yeah, sounds good let him in

- spinning is illegal

- i hope they don’t expect me to remember this big list of names

- i have no idea what that is supposed to mean

- did he just spin Johnny off the horse?? what does that have to do with muscle or skin i’m so confused

- did someone pull their guts out?

- rope? so they were dragged to death?

- “not a single cougar track in sight,” those damn cougars, known for using rope

- there’s an imposter among us!

- wait didn’t they just list Mountain Tim as a racer, why would they let him investigate that’s not exactly an unbiased source

- oh well if the horses respect him it’s fine

- “are you actually married?” is a really shitty first line to say to probably anyone

- “the horse probably went out of control after seeing human blood,” you know, like horses are known to do

- did someone deliberately bottle some evidence for them?

- “B-Jeans”? Barry no!

- ...how many lodgings are there to chose from in the desert?

- Sandman gets a favorite terrain bonus

- you’re all wearing weird hats

- okay so the observation train has limits, it’s not just that convenient

- “he’s doing something stupid! i have to follow him now!”

- there’s so many straps on that horse?? also they’re hardcore implying that’s the murderer so combat ahead i guess

- oof ear violence

- weaponized cacti

- those are some incredibly precise cacti

- oh jeez the eyes

- uh oh time for crime orbs

- don’t like the eyeball bugs that’s real bad

- are... you cacti revenge man by any chance??

- okay thanks for explaining exactly what you’re doing

- if i’m to understand... the spinning sent all the needles back to him?? maybe???

- okay so this was a completely unrelated murder-capable cacti revenge man, good to know

- rip Marco, not sure how a government could expect a kid to actually be able to keep such high level secrets and deny it but rip

- if you think about spinning well enough it just works?? okay then

- “Do it again, I wasn’t looking.”

- oh it’s him! he still has his head!!

- if this guy dies they’re probably going to blame them huh

- oh so it’s less blame and more deliberate stand nonsense

- they keep showing the murder hoof, so it’s either these guys or they just keep showing it to make us think it’s them but they’re really just being followed by the murderer still. i’m betting on the latter.

- “no one’s looking! quick, do some crime!”

- sir your foot is knife

- “oh whoops my gun is doing magic?”

- maybe throwing a steel ball at the people doing metal magic wasn’t a great idea

- lots of improvised projectiles going on here, first cacti needles, now rocks

- if that guy can survive lizard poison he’ll probably survive that somehow huh

- okay i guess these guys are just the murderers

- stick metal in your face to just completely change what you look like i guess

- Hey Mountain Tim why do you have suspiciously murder evidence themed powers

- how come everyone seems to be getting stands through going to cursed places “don’t go there it’s dangerous” “well now i have to”

[semi-imaginary-place]

three houses blogging 7

So I’m playing maddening again and I forgot to grab the knowledge gem in the sothis paralogue. rip

Remember when i made claude a brawler? Well now im paying for it in hunting by daybreak where he cant use fists on a wyvrn.  Problem was i didnt have any bow abilites so his avo dropped like 30 points.

My “canon” recruits

VW: Shamir, Cyril, Felix, Sylvain, Linhardt, Dorothea, Petra, Hanneman, Flayn, Setheth

CF: Manuela, Hanneman, Sylvain, Felix, Mercedes, Marianne, Lysithea

AM: Ferdinand, Caspar, Bernadetta, Catherine, Gilbert, Lorenz

SS: idk all of them?

A quick comparison of the cavalier units Ferdinand, Sylvain, and Lorenz. All three are from some of the most powerful families in their countries if not the continent. They’re all kinda entitled bastards and they all start off still stuck in the mindset of nobility. You can really see this in part 1 Lorenz and Ferdinand where they’re obnoxious about their “noble obligations”. 

With Sylvain its more that he resents the crest-nobility systems but has resigned himself to suffer under it, he doesn’t think he can escape and thus takes out his frustration on women and himself. With the women he pursues, Sylvain sets himself up for failure. First is that he sets up for himself a reputation of unreliability partly as a rebellion against the expectations his family has set for him. His family expects him to be the perfect noble and thus Sylvain downplays his competency whether that be his intelligence or martial prowess. He pretends to be the vapid noble with nothing in his head. Next, Sylvain advertises himself first with his family name and crest and second with his body, thus attracting people who want him for these superficial characteristics. He then can accuse them of only wanting him for these things, shutting down any possibility of there being anything more and driving people away. The cheating also acts as a means to drive people away. He then can take that as evidence that people only want him for his family, crest, etc. Its a self fulfilling prophecy of self destruction and emotional self harm. Sylvain has essentially shut down his ability to form new relationships. (i need to write that sylvain essay)

By comparison Lorenz also disrespects women (by refusing to take a “no”) but why he does so is vastly different. Lorenz never fully questions and turns away from the nobility system the way Ferdinand and Sylvain can. His rebellion is against the selfishness of his father because Lorenz under all the noble bullshit is actually a decent guy. Count Gloucester cares only about House Gloucester, its reputation and prosperity. To the ends of House Gloucester he is willing to assassinate rivals and kill any merchant that brings that rival prosperity, and take any side such as the Empire’s to ensure Gloucester’s survival. Lorenz disagrees thinks those in power must consider everyone, not just their own benefit. Lorenz is the game’s strongest supporter of the Alliance as a governing system. He genuinely values a non-monarchy. Lorenz puts what he believes are his noble duties above his own preferences. For example praying because that its what a noble should do instead of because he’s religious or actually believes in the Goddess. This extends to his attempts at dating. At the start of the game, Lorenz’s perspective is that it is his duty to ensure the prosperity of his house and this include a strong crest bloodline and someone in the role of “wife” that will benefit House Gloucester. Stuck in this mindset he totally disregards the women he’s pursuing. He grows out of this with help from his supports.

Ferdiand has one of the stronger character arcs in the game (but nothing will top Marianne) where he starts off incredibly naive and ignorant about anything outside the life of a Fodlan noble, hits existential crisis will Edelgard’s war, and rebuilds himself from there. Throughout the entirety of the game he actively tries to broaden his horizons and improve himself. Ferdinand’s relentless optimism really is admirable. As in Petra’s support shows, he starts off assuming Fodlan weapons and armor are the best (its Fodlan exceptionalism) because the books he read only talked about Fodland weaponry and spoke from a Fodlan perspective. Ferdinand believes in destiny, in purpose as shown in his Marianne supports. He’s written this narrative for himself as the esteemed scion on Aegir destined for greatness, where he will surpass Edelgard as her rival, and reform Adrestia and the nobility. But discrepancies keep cropping up, he can’t beat Edelgard in combat, Edelgard start a revolution while at the Academy and ascends as emperor, his noble title and assets are taken and his family disgraced. Ferdinand turns his frustration and loss inwards and uses it as fuel to shape a new path for himself.

the chad ignatz vs. the virgin lorenz

A supports that shouldn’t exist:

Claude and Ingrid. this feels like a B support that just keeps dragging on

Linhardt and Annette. a lot of linhardt’s supports take a sudden romantic turn in the A support. am i the only one that finds it weird?

They should have another support:

Hilda and Annette ! support. They are SO cute together. imagine them doing each other’s makeup!

Sylvain and Dimtiri A support

Sylvain and Ignatz B support. i just want more Sylvain ok

Byleth and Jeralt. no dad support? heresy

Balthus and Manuela. they can be disasters together

Balthus and Holst. I just want  holst

Raphael and all the blue lions (Felix, Sylvain, Dedue, Ashe, Merdeces, Annette)

all the church people will all the other church people

So a lot of people see AM as Dimitri’s journey on recovering from trauma and while that’s not a terrible interpretation-- I think a narrative about living through trauma and the slow decades long healing would be excellent --azure moon botches the execution and I'd argue that's not the authorial intent here. (a rare case where I like fandom interpretation better than what is canon). but hold on i need to back up.  So Japan's had these cycles of xenophobia and... fanaticism??? with foreign culture and at several points absorbed a lot of chinese culture. One greatly influential work was the Romance of the Three Kingdoms which cemented in the japanese consciousness the narrative that... hmmm how to say it.... unification is how things should be... that unification is what makes a good ending. Some people pointed out parallels beforehand, but the an interview with the developers confirmed that 3H was heavily inspired by Legend of the Galactic Heroes. I don't exactly expect a nuanced and sensitive discussion of mental health from any jrpg i play (or any game really) and that mostly applies to 3H as well, sylvain's self destructive tendencies are glorified as loyalty in his byleth s support. Bernadetta's trauma is used to up her moe factor (to great success given how high up she is on the popularity polls), i tallied the number of abusive families each of the students some time ago and the sheer number of female students with tragic or abusive backgrounds makes me suspect it was done for drama.  Azure moon was never quite meant to be a story about the the real life effects of actual trauma, which is why its so wonderful that so many people could create their own interpretations of azure moon that reflected their experiences. What it was meant to be was a story of the rightful king reclaiming his throne to the backdrop of how the past can weigh you down and affect the present. Its related to the concept of mandate of heaven in that when the rightful ruler is absent (no dimitri), the country is in shambles, people are starving, war rages, everyone suffers, etc. but with the ascension of the rightful king everything flourishes, the people are happy, faerghus has a bright future etc. If you look at it rationally a lot of what the blue lions suffered under is systematic. Faerghus is basically a death cult glorifying dying in battle and sacrifice such that children are trained to fight as soon as they can walk (ingrid and felix byleth supports), children are used as soldiers (dimitri and felix), martial training rules their lives above all else (dimitri-annette supports), religious fervor fueling all this etc. But in Azure Moon, non of theses systems (nobility, crest, chivalry, church, etc.) are critiqued or dismantled and it leaves the cast of the blue lions hanging. If anything, under a new charismatic archbishop (byleth) some of them might strengthen, and the only empowerment of the people comes from the top down (dimitri allowing greater participation in government) rather than the people raising themselves up. On another note, despite many cutscenes in part one about dimitri finding out how sketchy Arundel and and Patricia are, nothing is done with that in part 2 and there is no resolution to the Agarthan problem. But back to what I was saying Dimtiri’s life is controlled by the death’s of his family and Glen, Felix puts it best in that Dimtiri strings tombstones around his neck. So the aftermath of Rodrigue’s death and Byleth’s pep talk act as the turning point for AM. Dimtiri stops rejecting the throne and is welcomed as king to a joyful crowd, he is instantly forgiven by everyone (despite wandering around as a murdering beast for the last 5 years, not doing anything to help faerhgus, and torturing people), because of course he is, via the mandate of heaven now the the proper king is on the throne everything goes right. And I hate that narrative. The game frames dimitri accepting his role as king as incredibly positive from the cheering crowd to the support of all the other characters. AM tries to tie a political position to an emotional narrative and i don’t like it. (I also just don’t like dimitri on a personal level, he’s meh, and combined with this is why AM is my least favorite route).

My favorite supports: Claude+Shamir B, Linhard+Lysithea A, Sylvain+Felix A+, Hubert+Hanneman B, all of Petra+Claude.

long long ago .  humanity was ruled over by god kings, the nabateas/children of the goddess/dragons who saw it as their divine right and duty to rule, protect, and watch over humanity. But some of the humans wanted self rule, they saw the nabateans as tyrants imposing their will over another species, and they wanted freedom. "Humans should be able to decide their own path" they cried. The progenitor goddess Sothis had fallen into a long slumber after her efforts and her children ruled in the belief that she would one day return to rule them and they they were simply holding the spot for her. It is unknown if sothis was actually dead at this point or in a regenerative coma. Nemesis was either hired as a mercenary/thief to steal Sothis's remains, or the location was purposefully leaked to him. After stealing the Goddesses' body, the humans crafted her body into the sword of the creator and her heart became its crest stone.  Nemesis then led the invasion of Nabatea and killed the nabateans using a weapon made of their goddess and progenitor's body. The bodies of the nabateans were made into more weapons and given to the 10 elites as weapons in the war against the remaining nabateans and their human allies. Nemesis was then raised as a figurehead of the war, a symbol of the Liberation of humanity from grasp of the dragons. Humanity saw him as their savior king and the 10 elites as heroes liberating them from the dragons. Seiros founded the Church, raised an opposing army and the War of Heroes begins. Seiros eventually defeated the human resistance army and its remnants fled underground becoming the Agarthans. Church became a governing body in Fodlan as the remaining Nabateans again awaited the day Sothis would return to rule them (and one failed attempt at resurrecting her). The Agarthans attempted to preserve what technology they had left and continued to develop Heroes Relic technology eventually creating artificial heroes relics such as Aymr.  It is unlikely that Nemesis was ever the brains behind the operation, just another cog in the machine. The Nemesis you fight in game is either a zombie preserved in a cryostasis pod for millennia or a clone. it is unclear.  The nabateans had seen themselves as as benevolent rulers, like parents fostering children. (you can see where this gets patronizing). So some of them like rhea saw humanity's rebellion as a betrayal

Edelgard is probably the best character in the game even if on a personal level, I don't like her too much. By which i mean she's the character that adds the most to the game from her character writing to her role in the story.  Edelgard is straightforward and stubborn. She has her opinion and not only will she not change it, she'll dig her heels in and double down on it.  She's committed... but that bites both ways. Allowing her to accomplish much, but keeping her from changing her course in the face of new information and circumstances. Inflexible.  yeah edelgard likes to be in control. its the if you want something done right you've got to do it yourself mentality. She believes herself to be the right person for the job and because of the stubbornness i mentioned earlier will not back down no matter what even if that means massive loses and her death. on non CF routes Edelgard provides an excellent counterpoint to byleth and the church, its really well done

both caspar and ferdinand would get into a bar fight. nnnnnn ferdinand tries to be a prim proper noble but he's a hotblooded shounen hero at heart. like how he chase linhardt all around the campus. i don't think ferdinand could see a fight and not think hey i should stop this and end up getting involved. like caspar he's got a strong sense of what's "right" or "what should be done" which is why he hits existential crisis in the war. Ferdinand (kinda like edelgard really) had written himself this narrative of his life, that he was edelgard's rival, that he would ascend to Prime minister and do it better than anyone before him, that he would correct the misdeeds of his father and bring glory to the aegir name, that HE not edelgard would be the one who brought Adrestia into a shinning new future. And edelgard (not out of spite or anything, it was nothing personal) brought that ll crashing down. And ferdinand doesn't know what to do with himself, what is up and what is down, what it just and right and what isn't.

i like how each route does its own thing. GD/VW is a mystery about what is really happening. BE/CF is a political thriller and has a kinda sinister tone. BL/AM is more character driven about the personal costs. a good example of this is the mutiny in the mists chapter. for gd, it introduces the mystery of heroes relics, in be it introduces the injustice of the church, bl: it sucks to be ashe. Silver Snow gives us Byleth's seach for identity set to the backdrop of the morality of the church. this is one thing i don't like about blue lions. white clouds sets up how arundel is very sketchy and the flame emperor is working with an evil third party, but then azure moon completely drops that. Compare this to golden deer part one introducing the mysteries of the relic weapons, the connections between relics, demonic beasts, crests, the children of the goddess, and church and in verdant wind that pays off as you go into depth about those things. meet up to 5 children of the goddess and the creators of the relic weapons. CF also continues what it started in white clouds by killing the head of the church. cf and ss are mirrors of each other so you need both to understand rhea and edelgard.

also interesting note remember how after jeralt dies each lord has a couple unique scenes? the advice each of them gives you is the same thing they repeated to themself to get through their trauma. Claude dealt with trauma by never letting his enemies know they had hurt them, don't give them that power over you mentality. Put on a smile and face the day, you must. Edelgard dealt with trauma by hardening herself and focusing all her energy into a goal, pick yourself up and be productive, moping around does nothing and helps no one, do something about it. Dimitri I remember the least well, one half of it was a just point me in the direction of your enemies and i will help you rip them to shreds, and i don't remember the other half. I do remember he tries to goad byleth into taking vengeance, which made me very uncomfortable the other thing i remember is that they all kinda had a point, but none of it might have been what byleth needed to hear. How they react to Jeralt’s death is another point of foiling for Claude and Edelgard, both try to do something productive, while Dimitri commiserates and grieves with you.

honestly i think raphael had some of the best advice for grief. i mean... if all you can bring yourself to do is the small stuff then take things one step at a time, take care of your body. exercise really does help your mental health. its like i keep yelling at people, raphael is probably the most emotionally mature of the students, he's grounded. If i had to choose someone to mentor dimitri, I'd choose raphael. which is why I am so disappointed in their support. Raphael is such a good boy, endlessly compassionate and wanting the best for everyone, the heart of a golden retriever.  and the devs are a bunch of cowards who won't let me s support him with male byleth. like so many characters are pretty means to him at various points and he doesn't take it personally, just takes it and tries to help them through whatever they're going through. a good boy

on a side note intsys disproportionately gives shitty tragic backstories to their female characters and it feels icky. i went and counted the number of terrible things female characters have been through compared to the male cast (i have that list... somewhere...)... and a way higher percent of female characters were tortured/kidnapped/forced into marriages/abused/etc. compared to the percent of male character with tragic backstories

jeritza ... .... certainly is a character. a shame that i like his character design but that I don't like him. he and hubert are in a single elimination tournament to determine who gets to walk away with the title of Edgiest FE3H Character. "death knight" or shinigami kishi   and wears black spikey armor and says shit like "this dance of damnation!". he's a decent unit, but a bit underwhelming compared to when he's an enemy. i suppose it would be game breaking if he had that dodge and crit as a player unit... and he's a not a bad unit... i found him to be quite good really... but it just cna't compare

an excellent character. One of the things I like about her as a character is that her character archetype is quite rare and its refreshing to see it done well. Right? so in jrpgs over the years a lot of tropes and archetypes have accumulated. And Edelgard adds so much to the story as the main antagonist for most routes, as a foil to byleth and rhea. a counterpoint to the church. Its real good. and then you get to join her for one route??? Love it. As a person, i can appreciate how raw she is as a person. As with all the lords her character development is excellent. When you meet her at the beginning its all serious business all the time. She takes everything seriously and she's trying very hard to be taken seriously. No chill what so ever in part 1. But by part 2 she's just tired. edelgard is very human. flawed. and whether her actions were "right" is up to a lot of debate, but she cares a lot (i personally think its was wrong to start a continent wide war). i think a lot of people in the West have forgotten how utterly horrific wars are. and yes she's pig headedly stubborn. the break not bend type

I really like bernadetta and caspars supports. Dorothea aggressively trying to befriend petra is great. and I did not expect ferdinand and hubert's supports to go like that but they're also really good. I think the ferdinand/hubert supports are another one that has multiple versions (b? a?) depending on when you get it in the game

I'm one of the few who likes the split route structure haha. it has its drawbacks yeah like how splitting up content means a good chunk of people will only play one route and judge the whole game based on that one route (and get angry on the internet about it  ). But i really liked being able to follow the different factions around (fe3h still need a rewrite, but i love the concept). the complex multifaceted ways the same event can affect different people. You need to play cf and one other route at least to get a basic understanding of whats going on in three houese

interesting thing is that the battle dialogue is also route locked. Like I went dialogue hunting last route in vw and got nothing. attacked dimtiri and sylvain with felix and ingrid and got nothing. Attacked edelgard with petra and ferdinand and got nothing on both maps annette and mercedes also got nothing. while i know in other routes all of them do get dialogue

What you get out of rhea in the last chapter of vw is likely accurate to the best of rhea's knowledge. Rhea knows she's dying here and likely dies soon after the game ends and nemesis is coming so she has little reason to lie. that doesn't mean what she says is true just that she has little reason to lie The church acts to maintain power and influence and shelter the nabateans who head the church by obscuring information on them. Contrast this with edelgard who got the truth of the church from her father but viewed it using the lens of the agarthans. The agarthans saw rhea and the nabateans as tyrants oppressing humanity and their views influenced edelgard. They aren’t wrong…. But there’s more to it than that (seteth’s supports)

so for some of the npcs, the ages from the datamine are more age of appearance or what age a stranger would think they'd be at first glance.this is why Sothis is listed as 9, jeralt as 45, seteth as 26, rhea as 28, and cornelia as 30 eventhough all these characters are older than that

Why Dont Ashe And Yuri Have A Support Chain. They Even Both Love Cooking And Set Up Inns In Some Of Their Endings!!!! AND LET HAPI AND CLAUDE GO STARGAZING TOGETHER

[this-is-a-true-trump-card]

Shino Is An Underrated Strategist and Fighter

Stayed calm when Zaku attacked, and blocked his punch with one arm. You could argue it's not impressive because Zaku isn't a strong Taijutsu user, but consider that Shino has never seen Zaku fight, so being able to calmly judge his opponent's attack and blocking it with one arm is an impressive feat. Shino himself is known (only by fandom) for being not so good at close range.

Got up from a high pressured blast of wind direct to the face. It was aimed right at Shino's skull, he hit the ground hard and rolled. He should have been at least bruised, but there’s not even a scratch.

Managed to get his bugs behind his opponent without them or anyone else noticing, despite it being a large and open area. (although this does make sense because if a guy in front of you has skin "leaking" bugs you'd be likely looking at him and not anywhere else. But still, at least one person should have been have noticed)

Got his bugs inside Zaku's wind holes without the opponent or anyone else noticing. It makes sense if you consider that once again, everyone would have been distracted by the guy "leaking" bugs through his skin or the other guy yelling about "you should always have a trump card, right!!?"

But then Shino explains that he planned to stuff the wind holes with bugs at the start of the match. That is, before he even actually saw Zaku use his wind attack. All Rookie teams saw Dosu attack with his sound and Zaku throw a kunai at Kabuto, but Team 8 is the only rookie team to not see Zaku's wind attack. Which means that Shino countered an attack not only before even first seeing it but as soon as he knew who his opponent was. How did he know they were wind tunnels? They could have easily created fire or water. Even if obvious, how'd he know he could a) tank it safely at point blank and b) his insects could block it? Seriously, Shino, you have expendable insects to "test the waters". Why did you need to use your face?

Oh, by the way, Shino hid a secret true trump card under a false one. That’s Shino method of fighting. He lures you with a false colony of insects to use as a distraction from the real insects moving in for the attack. The insects in plain sight to Zaku and everyone was the distraction, the insects in Zaku’s arms was the real threat. He does the same thing to Kankuro, as I’ll explain later.

Also. How did Shino get behind Zaku so quickly? Before he was a few steps in front.

No one else considered that Zaku was pretending to be crippled. Even Dosu, Zaku teammate, was pleasantly surprised. It's not that Shino knew Zaku wasn't handicapped (he may have), but that Shino is naturally a cautious person (his first words in the series is him telling Kiba they shouldn't run ahead in the FoD because it was dangerous). He was the only one there not to think "this guy only has one functioning arm" and instead told his insects to block those dangerous wind holes. As in, he took consideration that the “broken” arm could still attack.

Sasuke didn’t even notice Shino had been tailing him all this time. neither did Kankuro or Temari. That’s some Ninja level shit right there.

By the way, just before Shino makes his appearance this scene happens.

Quote from Narutopedia: “Pakkun has shown to have an incredibly sharp sense of smell, even by canine standards. He can regularly determine what type of scent he is picking up, how far away it is, and how dangerous the person is.”

But Pakkun couldn’t smell Shino. All he could smell is a “clump of numerous scents”. You could write this off as a sort of “Rule of Mystery” thing (who’s this unknown “thing” that isn’t even human”?), but it also shows the possibility that the Kikaichu’s scent overrides the host’s natural scent making it easier for an Aburame to ambush their opponent or escape from those who use smell to track.

Now this begs the question. Could Kiba, with his “better than a Nin-Hound” nose (revealed during the Shippuden Itachi Pursuit arc) smell Shino over the numerous scents of insects?

Shino managed to tag Sasuke without the latter being aware. As far as part one goes, the Kikaichu don’t seem to be fast movers. This is why Shino has to use distraction in order to capture and defeat his opponent. They seem to become faster in Shippuden, though.

Both opponents are ready to attack, waiting for the other to make the first move. Which Kankuro does without warning. Can you see how Karasu sort of just “flies” towards Shino with considerable speed and how quickly Kankuro deploys those poisonous blades.

But as quick as Kankuro is to attack, Shino is just as quick to evade.

Notice in the first panel how close Karasu is now to Shino, and how Shino reacts to Karasu opening its mouth but has no idea what’s to come? In the last panel Kararu fires off two blades at quick session while not being too far a distance from Shino.

And Shino manages to evade it. Kankuro is trying to kill Shino by attacking without mercy in quick session without warning. And Shino, so far, has dodged all attempts.

Take notice that even though the blades were at close range and flying at fast speed, they don’t penetrate straight though the insect clone.

Remember when I said that Shino uses his insects to distract the opponent from his real intention? Yeah, here’s another example. And, as you’ll see, that won’t be the last.

Also, the fight hasn’t been that long and Shino has already worked out Kankuro’s weakness to close combat. Shino had only seen Kankuro fight once previously. Remember that Kankuro originally forfeited to Shino in the second round in ordered to hide what Karasu could fully do. All anyone knew what that Kankuro used Karasu to switch places, because, as Shino states, Kankuro can’t handle close-range. So the sudden use of poisonous daggers is new to Shino, yet he still manages to avoid them. Which shows that even though close-range isn’t Shino’s strength either he’s certainly not as weak to it as most of the fandom think.

Apparently, trying to kill your opponent with poisonous daggers is not considered “how jutsu is used in a real fight!”, but a poisonous smoke bomb is.

Anyway, Shino is hit by the poison gas bomb. And clearly was unprepared for it.

Shit!

After Shino’s apparent death the scene cuts over to Hiruzen vs Orochimaru, and Iruka rounding the children to a safe shelter. But when it cuts back to Kankuro and Shino, this ^ is what happens. Shino, possibly with another clone, escaped Kankuro’s next attempt at killing him.

How did Shino know he could stop Karasu by jamming its joints? Because he’s observant and a damn great strategist, that’s why.

Notice how Kankuro just remembered the insects feed on chakra, even though Shino explained it to everyone when he fought Zaku? Well, as you’ll see this isn’t the only important thing about his opponent Kankuro forgot.

So Shino wasn’t prepared for Kankuro cutting the strings, but clearly he has an alternative planned.

“You’re too careless!” Kankuro, stop. Have you not learned to stop underestimating Konoha Genin yet?

I love Shino and am glad he’s alive, but this scene is bullshit. When a projectile is fired off from such a speed as Karasu’s head, momentum should allow it to continue forward, even though you cut off it’s power source (chakra strings).

How Shino beats Kankuro is the same as how he beat Zaku. The first insects attacking were only a diversion.

Remember what I said that Kankuro forgetting the important detail that Kikaichu eat chakra isn’t the only important thing about his opponent Kankuro forgot? “How could you know where I was with just one bug?”

“You’re too careless!”. < A quote from Kankuro earlier in the fight.

Take note that Kankuro is completely immobile. If you ever need an idea of just how quickly the insects eat chakra once they manage to get on their target.

Anyway, notice how tired Shino is at this point? How out of breath he is and how he can barely speak?

Well, while he succumbs to the poison gas he only does so until he’s certain Kankuro is immobile.

I’ve seen too many people downplay Shino’s part in this fight because “he almost died to poison if not for his father”. But not only did Shino dominate the entire fight, avoiding all but one of Kankuro’s attempts to kill him, he continued to fight even when dying. Also, Kankuro needed help from Temari. He couldn’t move without her. And Shino was never trying to kill him. Chakra exhaustion requires only rest to replenish one’s chakra reserves.

Do you see how fast Shino’s insects move from his sleeves to the tree “Tobi” is perched on? If you thought they were slow before, they’re clearly not now.

Kakashi telling Naruto that Aburames don’t focus their attacks on a single point, I feel as if he’s also talking to the fandom, because what Naruto is thinking is exactly what most people argue when it comes to Shino’s fighting style. Just the opponent could avoid the insects by jumping out of the way, or even using a jutsu against it.

And what Kakashi is saying about Aburames taking control of a wide large area is not something that Kishimoto had Kakashi explain because their was no evidence shown beforehand how Shino fights. Kakashi is explaining something that’s been evident since Shino’s fight with Zaku and Kankuro. With Zaku Shino took control of the arena, with Kankuro he took control of the forest. No matter where the opponent is, how they try to avoid the insets, Shino has already made the battle area his own.

The insects always respond to Shino’s commands instantly. Further prove that they are not slow by any means. They started off as a liner jutsu and now Shino has spread them to take control of the entire area, as Kakashi stated and as shown in part one.

Another misconception of Shino’s insects is that they’re easy to avoid provide that you are fast enough (very common versus Neji and versus Kiba) . Here Kakashi says it isn’t possible. Once the bugs surround you, capture is inevitable.

I understand that this is all hype for Shino by Kakashi (and Kishimoto) and that they insects are probably avoidable outside of the Space-Time jutsu “Tobi” is about to use, but I like to remind you that canonically the only evidence of opponents being able to escape from capture is “Tobi” using Kamui, a Space-Time Jutsu and Naruto using Kyubi chaka to escape from Shibi’s (Shino’s dad) insects.

Any other method is speculation.

Humans in the Naruto world have always survive the impossible, because they’re ninja. Leaping through fire, escaping explosions, drowning, and so on. But you can guarantee that the insects will always be expendable. Even though they, too, are ninja insects and should likely therefore be able to survive what real life insects can’t.

Here the Kikaichi cover the entire opponent in order to prevent movement. The opponent cannot run and is unable to move their arms to use a jutsu. Any opponent without Space-Time jutsu or Kyubi chakra would be unable to escape at this point.

Here Shino explains that is isn’t possible to escape with high speed movement. Fast opponents like Neji or Kiba could try and avoid the bugs, but the insects would just still continue to pursue the target until capture. Escape, as Kakashi said, is impossible.

See how Kakashi wasn’t expecting “Tobi” to escape with a Space/Time jutsu. That in any other situation Shino would have successfully captured his opponent.

Just like with Kankuro, Shino shows that he can react quickly to unexpected close combat attacks.

While Shino’s target here is a mindless Jubi clone, and that with any other opponent he wouldn’t be able to plant a bug as easily as this, you only need to remember my explanation of Shino’s fighting style versus Zaku, Kankuro and “Tobi” to understand that Shino figuring out a way shouldn't be much of an issue.

Even though most of the fandom thinks it’s a great idea to argue that a opponent faster than Shino who excels at Taijutsu such as Neji or Kiba, would beat Shino purely on speed and taijutsu alone, let me remind you that it would be a horrible idea. Going close-range to an Aburame is suicide. You give Shino the easier method of capturing the opponent you were debating for. Shino can either defend with his insects, having them instantly surround and cover his opponent, or he can opt to faux punch (like he did Kankuro) but instead of a tracker female bug it’s a flesh-eating Kaidaichu.

Hopefully, showing that his bugs and he are not easily avoidable/defeated by opponents who are highly fast, excellent at Taijutsu, or have nature Jutsu. And helping to remind readers that Shino is, in fact, a strategist. That he fights the same way as Shikamaru does. He also acknowledges his weakness, covers them, and uses the area his fighting in to his advantage.

[hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger]

Let me explain in copious detail why the OP’s statements are complete BS.

   This boils down a lot to a fundamentally flawed understanding of what Spider-Man’s goals are as well as not taking into account the restrictions placed upon the character by virtue of genre and dramatic necessities.

  The OP codifies that Spider-Man’s goals is to combat crime and irresponsibility but has flanderized the former to make Spider-Man out to be like Batman levels of trying to deter crime when...that isn’t the case.

  A lot of people use Batman as a comparison for this but it just doesn’t hold up. For starters crime in Gotham city is NOT the way it is in Marvel New York city. Gotham when Batman’s career began was CORRUPT to it’s core and infected with street crime. The citizens of Gotham were in effect prisoners in their own home unless they were members of the elite. The poorer, or even middle class citizens, categorically lived in fairly frequent fear of crime, whether it posed a threat to their property and livelihoods or their lives. The death of the Waynes made this point hardcore because they were the elite of the elite and the smallest of criminals took their lives.

   The point was no one was safe and worse the system was broken.

   Batman arose and used the methods he used to combat crime under these extenuating circumstances.

   And he succeeded to a point. He has yet to eradicate corruption in the police department or the system as a whole, and street crime still exists in Gotham. This is to say nothing of the rise of super criminals after Batman appeared who were a thousand times worse than the regular street punks

   He did majorly alleviate the problem though.

   Marvel New York City and DC’s Metropolis were NOTHING like that and so never necessitated Batman’s methods of fear and intimidation to build a legend and frighten criminals.

   Metroplis in most incarnations is NEVER depicted as particularly crime ridden. At worst it’s in the behind the scenes grips of Luthor. Superman has off and on removed Luthor’s influence over Metroplis but never permanently. And he has never put a halt to all street crime (hence Intergang is a thing), despite every criminal knowing he could apprehend them even if he is literally another country away.

  Spider-Man in contrast lives in Marvel NYC. Crime and corruption exist but it’s not like one big bad dude controls 2/3 of the workforce whether they know it or not or where crime and corruption have such a choke hold on the city no one is safe.

   I should also point out Spider-Man neither possesses powers on Superman’s scale nor the resources of Batman. Batman could never have achieved what he achieved without a shitton of technology at his disposal, even if he had Spider-Man’s powers. His vehicles allowed him quick access around the city. His corporation could provide all the tech he needed and money was never an issue. If he needed medical attention or a loved one needed it hey no problem. These resources also allowed him to better conceal his identity and gather vast intelligence for his activities.

   Now compare and contrast that to Spider-Man who whether as an adult or a teenager basically had to earn a living to support himself and his family (including a mother with expensive health problems) and be a superhero in addition to that. He also had obligations to family and friends which took up his time. Batman has had these too but never to the same degree. Most of his close abiding relationships exist with people within his inner circle and who’re involved in crime fighting themselves. And Peter obviously doesn’t have supersonic speed to get where he needs to be whenever he wants more or less.

   He’s the working class superhero who can’t afford to dedicate himself solely to superheroing but also hasn’t got powers and resources that prevent superheroing from having a detriment upon his normal life.

   But lets get back to goals.

   Spider-Man’s goal has never been to eradicate all crime. I don’t think Batman’s is either and if it is that’s stupid and impossible without becoming a monster himself. Spider-Man does NOT seek to eradicate all crime.

  He’s your friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man.

  It’s not just a catchphrase, its a descriptor of who he is. He’s the little guy superhero who helps out the little guy. His focus is smaller scale. He goes on patrol and stops crimes as he sees them, pursues leads on crimes he gets a whiff of or otherwise intervenes as he comes across crimes by chance.

  Which to begin with isn’t that dissimilar to ACTUAL methods of policing except he can’t do much as far as intelligence gathering is concerned because

  a)    He is one man and

b)    He lacks resources to do that and

c)    He does have other obligations

   Spider-Man’s mantra stemming from his origin story is simply this:

   If you have the power to help it is your duty to help.

   He DIDN’T help when he saw a crime in progress and it resulted in something tragic. He does his best to not repeat that mistake.

  However on a broader level his story is about living up to his responsibilities but those extend BEYOND crime fighting. His family’s welfare, his friendships, his education, his own well being, these are all his responsibilities as they are all of OUR responsibilities.

  Does he always succeed at them? No. Because few of us succeed at them all the time. frequently we have to juggle and things can and do go wrong just as they can and do go right. Example: my father is constantly stressed because the type of man who does things for everybody and to an exent he’s let his health suffer for it. At the same time things with his work can take abrupt unexpected turns which have knock on effects on other parts of his life (and by extension my own). Often times he is constantly stressed due to living up to all these burdens. Now not EVERYONE is like this, but a lot of people are.

  This is who Spider-Man is. It’s really unrealistic and cheap to say “Well if he only did this then it would fix everything and him not doing it shows he’s bad at his job and stupid!”

   Returning to what I said was his ACTUAL goals, like I said Spider-Man doesn’t WANT to remove all crime in NYC. Not only is that impossible, not only are there OTHER heroes working on that at the same time as him, but his goals is simply to help where he can.

  And...it works!

  In Sacasa’s Senssational Spider-Man run we see a beach full of people who represent a tiny number of people who’s lives Peter has saved. In ASM #500 Peter decides NOT to change history by preventing the spider from biting him because he knows how many people could be hurt because he wasn’t there to save them. Doctor Strange, Sorcerer Surpeme that he is stated in the same issue that the greatest gift anyone can give another human being is the chance to make a difference just once and went on to say Spider-Man has no idea how many times HE has made such a difference.

   Want some proof? ASM #3 Spider-Man averts a nuclear disaster. Spec #75 he averts ANOTHER nuclear disaster. PPSM #98 he literally saves the whole planetary population from being wiped out by Norman Osborn.

    Want some more proof? You say Spider-Man does NOTHING to deter crime. Well again...that’s not his goal. He knows crime won’t be deterred by him. Crime isn’t deterred in NYC despite it having the single highest concentration of superheroes of any city in both Marvel AND DC. Crime isn’t deterred by Batman OR Superman’s presence, at least not completely (and is still siginifcant enough to be a real danger). So what’s Spider-Man going to do really? Not to mention that Spider-Man was a kid when he began his career. How was he even going to THINK of deterring crime on a large scale?

   More than this once he got older to comprehend that idea (which again was stupid and pointless anyway) it was too late as his reputation had been established. Sure he COULD’ve switched to a new identity but again that’s dramatic contrainsts at work and we can’t hold that against the character. It’s called Spdier-Man so the protagonist has to be SPIDER-MAN!

    Does Spider-Man intimidate and scare his opponents? Depends. Sometimes he can do that. Michelinie issues of Spider-Man had him bend metal and frighten some thugs into surrender. The black costume was also pretty scary.

   But again...scaring people isn’t Spider-Man’s deal. Jameson already made people hate and fear him and it made his criem fighting career HARDER not easier. It’s also not who he is as a person. He doesn’t operate as a force of fear like Batman (again this is a lot of the bullshit ‘Batman is the best hero ever!’ mentality at play which condemns other heroes who doesn’t operate the same way he does). Many heroes don’t use those tactics and again Peter is a pretty friendly person and nice guy. He doesn’t want to frighten innocent people which is exactly what would happen if he did employ those methods. Given how he also operates in the day in a bright costume intimidation isn’t much of an option the way it is for Batman, who cultivated an urban legend which by nature relies on staying out of the limelight. Spider-Man can’t do that since he needs money to survive and earns it from literally making himself famous through pictures.

    But even taking AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALL that into account...Spider-Man DOES deter crime in NYC. In the Spec cartoon Tombstone states that Spider-Man scares criminals off of the streets before they’ve committed any crimes in the first place. And in ASM #50, you know the comic book Spider-Man friggin 2 was based on, it was PROVEN that Spider-Man’s absence saw an increase in crime rates. So Obviously his efforts were reducing crime.

   Now as for his humour? Does it dissuade criminals from villainy? No. Does it make them hate him more? Maybe.

   But to begin with criminals are gonna hate ANYONE who captures them so the latter point isn’t a big deal. As for the second...who the fuck in Batman’s rogue’s gallery was ever deterred from being a super villain by him scaring them? No one I know of? Street punks maybe but none of the major villains.

   But even then...Spidey isn’t the only humourous superhero out there. Silver Age Daredevil cracked jokes at villains too just not to the same extent.

  More importantly Spider-Man isn’t fighting villains for the long term and shouldn’t be either. His goal is to rectify the IMMEDIATE emergency right then and there.

  A mugger is threatening a civilian. So he cracks a joke and gets under their skin causing them to make mistakes which he can then use to resolve the situation more quickly whilst also putting the victim and possibly himself at ease, the latter being a good thing as it allows him to fight better and the former being he good thing because it reduces any trauma the victim might have later on. Meanwhile the punk goes to jail and spends a few years rotting there before MAYBE resuming a career of crime.

  But again...he’s fighting someone with SUPERHUMAN powers. Is he scared? No, but he also knows his chances of capture are VERY significant and his chances of success very low against that person. Meanwhile if he doesn’t run into the unthreatening and humourous Spider-Man again he might run into Daredevil, the FF, Punisher, Moon Knight, Dark hawk, Nightthrasher or any of the other DOZENS of NYC based superheroes and vigilantes he stands absolutely no hope of overcoming.

    Now for the costume, again this is a stupid argument against the character since it’s tied up with superhero conventions. Yeah it’s easy to spot but

 a)    Suspension of disbelief

b)    It’s more entertaining for him to wear a costume like that because it looks cool

c)    Daredevil wore fucking Yellow to begin his career

d)    He then switched to bright (not dark, bright) red which is also easy to spot

e)    Moon Knight walks around in white

f)    Wolverine’s main outfits have been different combinations of bright blue and bright yellow and he literally worked as a spy

   Moving onto his public persona, again...COUNTLESS heroes operate this way. Batman is the exception NOT the rule and even he doesn’t succeed entirely at his goals it is arguable.

   More than this Spider-Man ALREADY had a public persona because he was a goddam wrestler and TV star! He isn’t cultivating anything he’s already been established as what he is.

  The claim that he is daring people to come after him is also a major extrapolation by the OP. No one is saying that is how criminals tthink regarding him due to his outfit. It’s especially bullshit given how the black costume didn’t change that much at all.

    Additionally is daring people to come after him a bad thing in a fight where it distracts them from hurting civilians?

   Now to address the ‘it makes him a target and gives his enemies a common threat to rally around’...again EVERY hero has this. Dude...Batman was MORE of a urban legend and stealthy ninja in the Nolan movies where his costume was solid black and people debated his very existence. But the entire plot of the Dark Knight was that the criminal underworld rallied together and even trusted a mad man to end a threat to their business ventures despite his public appearances and persoinality being more reserved than his comic book counterpart.

   EVERy superhero more or less has a time where their enemies team up to take them down. Friggin SUPERMAN has that and he’s probably more powerful than most of his enemies one on one and is even MORE public than Spider-Man. he has an even flashier costume and is a globally recognized and revered figure. And he also has a Superman Revenge Squad who’re more active against him in many versions than the Sinister Six have ever been against Spider-Man. Hell the second Sinister Six story didn’t even have the Six form against Spidey specifically. In fact they didn’t even do that in their debut. I mean you are saying criminals and villains would unite to take down their common enemy Spider-Man but the actual Spider-Man comics mostly dispprove that. not only has that not happened all that often but it rarely works, either because they are unable tow work harmoniously  because they are bad guys or because Spider-Man is able to beat them.

  In fact Spider-Man’s powerset and abilities make his chances of success BETTER when he fights groups since he’s faster than most of them and can turn their abilities on one another. Frequently Spider-Man has fared worse in one-on-one battles than in group villain battles.

   If we wanna go comics....how many tiems have the Batman rogue’s gallery teamed up against Bruce in various combinations seriously? Like the Trial episode from the animated series doesn’t prove this idea to be bullshit?

    As for his villain don’t have a reason to stop what they are doing...this is illogical.

  Thier reasons for stopping should be that Spider-Man will kick their asses (Spidey once beat Doc Ock so bad he developed an outright phobia of him) or that they will go to jail. And again let me ask which villains, yes even batman’s, actually have ever ceased being bad guys because of their heroe’s intimidating them? Certainly not Joker or Poison Ivy that’s for sure? Luthor or Toyman? Fuck no. Jigsaw? Nope. Kingpin? Hahahahahahaha.

   This is thus a foolish line of reasoning. As is the idea that repeatedly being beaten by Spider-Man makes them stronger in the long run. Like...why? Where is the A>B>C logic of them growing stronger through repeated defeats? Not to mention...it’s literally not true. There is no evidence to suggest Shocker grew stronger as a villain through his battles with Spider-Man. Nor did Kraven or Doc Ock. But Spider-Man with his immense experience and frequent battle experience sure as fuck was growing more powerful whilst they rotted in jail. He’s one of the greatest street level MU fighters.

   Now for the loved ones angle. You know who else the laws of probability are working against? Superman. Batman. The Flash. Daredevil. Police officers. Judges. Politicians. Political activists. Gangsters. People who testify in court. You. Me.

    Spider-Man has a secret identity which protects people and a Spider sense to help maintain that. does this guarantee safety? No. But Spider-Man is far from alone in this regard and has kept his identity safer than most people. His identity provides BETTER protection from criminals with axes to grind than people in real life who put criminals away without the benefit of anonymity.

   Plus again they live in New York. COUNTLESS super villains put the citizens in danger all the time, much as they do on Gotham. But in Peter’s case FREQUENTLY his loved ones have been endangered by things which had nothing to do with him.

   Doctor Octopus lived with Aunt May for reasons independant of him being Spider-Man.

  Jonathan Caesar kidnapped Mary Jane because SHE was famous and he was obsessed with her

  The Hobgoblin targeted Harry Osborn because his Dad was the Green Goblin

  Betty Brant and Ned Leeds’ wedding was interrupted by Mirage because he happened to be pulling a heist there

  Eddie Brock happened to be batshit insane and delusion ally picked Peter as the target of his hatred

 The Scorpion has beef with J. Jonah Jameson because HE created him

   And FYI, Gwen died because PETER made a mistake in the way he saved her. Goblin was still at fault though.

   And just what exactly is the OP trying to say here?

   That if only Peter had adopted a less bright costume and a scarier demeanor *coughbeenmorelikeBatmancough* his loved ones could’ve been spared. Because you know that worked so well for Rachel Dawes in the Dark Knight and Alfred was 100% not at risk from Bane in Knightfall obviously.

   Or is the OP saying Peter just shouldn’t have loved ones? Which you know is OBVIOUSLY the healthy thing to do right?

  Finally explain to me with SPECIFIC examples how precisely ‘the more he does the worse things get’?

   Lets move onto the whole ‘its stupid that he doesn’t kill people and that’s inept’.

   Dude...he’s not LEGALLY sanctioned to kill people. He already bends the law in pursuit of addressing immediate dangers he encounters and sparing dangers posed to other members of law enforcement.

   He’d 100% go to jail if he killed someone. That is not his role in the legal system. He is a glorified special officer. He intervenes in crimes as he sees them and halts the immediate threat. The legal work and legal system is then left to deal with it and it’d be a gross ABUSE of power for him to decide to act as judge jury and executioner. It crosses a line and puts him on a slippery slope to say nothing of the psychological toll that takes on a person. Killing deliberately can be incredibly psychologically damaging and is partially why many police officers and soldiers develop mental issues in life, including PTSD or alcoholism to cope with what they’ve seen and done. For someone with raw physical power the temptation to abuse it is always there but he doesn’t give into it or risk becoming as bad as the bad guys.

  Whatever else he may be no one man should EVER have the power to decide life or death unless in cases of self defence or defence of another.

              So in the grand scheme of things the OP doesn’t know what they are talking about, has taken things out of context, failed to do much research, has defined an illegitimate set of criteria through which the situation (hinging upon using Batman and Punisher as a valid basis for comparison) through and over all taken a needlessly cynical aapproach to the character.

    I mean for God’s sake. Please tell me how Spider-Man is such a massive failure compared to fucking Daredevil? Elektra and Karen Page’s deaths along with other’s and MULTIPLE examples of his identity going public tell an entirely different story. Like seriously when you have to fake your own fucking death because you are that bad at keeping your identity secret (despite having the obvious alibi of being blind) the fuck do you suck more than a guy who’s identity only wnet public when he decided to make it so? Like goddam.

   Some final points to finish up

 ·         Spider-Man isn’t seriously going to wound his opponents? Tell that to Kingpin in Back in Black

    ·         Its not Spider-Man’s fucking job to actually try and REFORM his enemies. Shit Batman to my knowledge rarely if ever does that. Same with Superman and MOST superheroes. It’s not their job the same way MOST cops don’t actively try to reform the criminals they capture. That’s the job of OTHER people in the legal system. Laying the blame for everything on the superheroes’ shoulders is disgustingly cynical and short sighted.

  ·         Spider-Man carries himself with the maturity of a 13 year old? Not in the comic I’ve read which by the way is a shitton. And you exemplify this by posting a picture of Ultimate Spider-Man. I.e. the Spider-Man that is 100% non-canonical to the mainstream version. How well researched of you

 ·         You realize the Fantastic Four render themselves even bigger targets than Spider-Man right? And they have much more powerful enemies. Doctor Doom alone has sent the Baxter Building into space and Frankling Richards to Hell.

 ·         Batman’s enemies gang up together all the time, often to fight him. they mostly know he isn’t super human so they could in theory kill him with a mere gun. And they sure as shit aren’t afraid of him

 ·         Well I actually DO know a fair amount about social psychology. So I know that when you have that many big egos as supervillains with raw physical power have or crime lords they are far from guaranteed to unite harmoniously towards a major cause. Shit, the debut of the Sinister Six saw them unable to fight together to the point where they just decided to fight Spider-Man one on one...and he beat them all...at age 18....

 ·         Spider-Man doesn’t ‘fight irresponsibility’ you know that right?

 ·         You codify that ‘being responsible is deterring those types of villains’. But...it’s not. NOTHING sets in stone that THAT is the responsible thing to do. The responsible thing to do is to just stop crimes when he sees them. Because given how most of his enemies are power hungry, power mad, stupid assholes reform is unlikely. The Sandman is an exception not the rule. Most of his villains have spent their careers in prison where logically they would’ve been exposed to rehab programs which have never worked. Some criminals are lost cuases and since Spider-Man began his career as a kid and lacks any formal training in this field is is idiotic to discredit him or reprimand him for ‘not trying to change their behaviours’. And again BATMAN and Daredevil have categorically failed in this regard too. Penguin has never been reformed nor has Kingpin. Nor Mr Hyde nor Joker. They also haven’t been deterred from lives of crime.

 ·         David Michelinie stated he created Venom specifically because no other Spider-Man villain actually WANTS to tangle with him. Even Doc Ock only rarely conspired plans specifically to get rid of Spider-Man. Mostly Green Goblin and Venom were is. Most other villains would rather just avoid Spider-Man than go after him. most of them were NOT bent on revenge, they just wanted payback if given the opportunity.

 ·         It is continually brought up how intimidating Daredevil and Batman are. And I will thus keep brining up how at times that wasn’t always true and how being intimidating does little to honestly deter crime since it is still around in Gotham and Hell’s Kitchen. I will also keep bringin up how OTHER characters are not intimidating in their looks or personalities but MANY criminals are intimidated by the mere prospect of you know...fighting super powered beings. No one knows Daredevil has powers, and by now most people know Batman doesn’t either. Spider-Man though really does not seem human at all and has been shown to intimidate criminals but just not outright scare them. But again, he isn’t trying to combat ALL crime in NYC. That’s stupid and would never work. He is just trying to help out where he can is all. At the same time we know from ASm #50 that his presence does deter criminals so in theory there are people who avoid crime because of his presence...and you know...every other hero’s in NYC.

    Long story short the premise and arguments laid out by the OP are bullshit and hinge upon worshipping Batman, Daredevil and Punisher and their methodologies despite all of them having major problems on par with or greater than Spider-Man’s.

   Or to put it another way the OP doesn’t know what the Hell he is talking about.

[raw-output]

His comm suite’s insistent trill managed to cut through the dull thumping in his ears and brought him back to a semblance of awareness. Aidan realized he was kneeling, but did not recall having done so. He was staring down at a blurry silhouette of his own head reflected in a puddle of condensate. A thin crooked line of gray-orange glow hinted at the existence of a sky far above, polluted with sickly sodium vapor light and smog in equal amounts. The line of sky seemed to pierce his silhouette’s temples, and Aidan couldn’t suppress a pained smirk. “Yeah, that’s about right,” he grunted, forcing himself shakily to his feet.

Footing somewhat regained, he tapped the answer key on his comm.

“Investigator Oh-Six-Three-Six,” he said. “Go ahead.”

“We read activation codes for your combat suite, Investigator. As you are not fitted with sensory recording equipment, Iron Shield protocol dictates immediate disclosure of combat suite activation circumstances. You are being connected to a dispatch representative. This conversation is being recorded for quality assurance purposes.”

Aidan rolled his eyes at the synth voice and wondered if he’d get a familiar dispatcher or someone new once the call actually connected. The turnover rate at the Iron Shield headquarters was the stuff of legends - the record for shortest time from on the comm to out the door was two hours. Considering what kind of crime actually warranted formal corporate investigation, he couldn’t really blame the newbies for leaving.

“Still kicking, old-timer?”

Aidan swallowed a curse. 

“You know it, Pam. How’s things?”

Pam, having twenty years of experience on him, was the one dispatcher he could bullshit with all he wanted, but never bullshit his way around. Despite her relentlessly friendly demeanor, numerous grandchildren, and prodigious collection of knit doilies, she had also been a dispatcher through the entirety of the Disposals, and the war that followed. Then, during the quiet, hopelessly brutal not-war that followed after that, when it turned out some people weren’t listening to orders anymore, she was the dispatcher, with all others gone into the field one by one. She guided many of them home, but not nearly all of them, and knew more loss than anyone Aidan knew. When Pam spoke, you damn well listened.

“Your vitals read like boiled trash, Aidan,” Pam spoke. “You’ll be useless for the next week, or at least less sufferable than usual.”

“So keep me in the field and everyone’s happy, right,” Aidan offered half-heartedly. He could expense a capsule or even a room once in a while.

“Never met another man so eager to get swept under the rug. I’m telling you, the CRAM’s not an old man’s game. Have you lost duration yet? Be honest.” 

Her concern was genuine, which only made the truth hurt more.

“Down a second or so, I think,” he admitted. There was a strange sense of relief to doing so.

“I won’t give you the full lecture again,” Pam promised. “Just maybe see a real doc about it for once, right?”

“Hell, Pam, I think I just might,” Aidan conceded. Worst case, he’d get a rewire job like one of the dead Chromes on the ground behind him.

“It’s great to hear that. Now, let’s hear what happened here, for the report.”

“Ah, right. I was on duty following a genetic tracer found at a missing person’s apartment. Last hour or so on GPS log should be me following the sniffer exclusively. Everything before that is just asking around with an armful of Don’t Worry Nobody’s In Trouble handshakes, which I’m charging to my cutout op budget as per usual. At about mark forty-seven minutes, I encountered three Chromes--” Pam cleared her throat pointedly “that is to say Chrome-equipped persons in a back alley, one armed with a short-barreled shotgun, who demanded I hand over the sniffer. I refused and disclosed my affiliation at that time, and proceeded to cold-boot the combat suite. I engaged in hand-to-hand combat to buy it time, and focused on disabling the firearm, but was unable to prevent its use as its wielder had at that time admitted to having a Pain Rewire implant installed, and leveraged its effects fully to remain combat-capable despite severe damage to his larynx.”

“You throat-punched him? You know any other moves?”

“Hey, It was an elbow this time. I’m improvising.”

“Easy there Jackie Chan. I’m guessing you weren’t expecting it to have no effect?”

“Jackie - he on the brawl circuit? But yeah, I suppose not. Didn’t know rewires were cheap enough for the street level guys already.”

“Surgeon took on a big shipment Monday. All we know, and that’s 3 agents gone, boss won't send any more,” Pam sighed, betraying the true weight of her years for a millisecond. Aidan didn’t bother asking if she knew or if she was already told - it was going to be true either way. “We think it was fab stuff, too, not just ready units. Expect one on pretty much everyone now. Hell, get one yourself, I know you were thinking about it you sly dog. This hits official channel in about five minutes, by the way.”

“Not gonna lie, not hurting all the damn time sounds pretty great,” Aidan replied.

“Well, it didn’t do your attacker much good, did it?”

“Blood loss doesn’t care if you feel it or not,” he mused, massaging his throbbing temples. “I got control of the weapon and made the judgement call to engage with lethal force to ensure a secure area for my imminent exhaustion. Then you woke me.”

“You know, you really ought to get you some recording gear. For the entertainment value.”

“Like you haven’t seen anything and everything there is to see five times over.”

“I’ll use the feeds in my fail compilation and get all the subscribers,” Pam crooned mockingly.

“Can you please stop reminding me that my old isn’t as old as it gets?”

“And miss my conditional bonus for the month? What do you think they keep me around for?”

Aidan chuckled, then gritted his teeth when the sound pulsed with urgent pain in his temples.

“What’s the next move?”

“Still got my sniffer. See what I find. Call you later, Pam.”

“I really don’t recommend you continue,” Pam began, but Aidan broke the connection. Only his report was mandatory, after all. Pam wouldn’t be happy with him about it, but he didn’t feel like a lecture on his limits, and time was of the essence here. His sample wasn’t going to last - the sniffer only worked with extremely fresh genetic material and after a day samples started to throw off false positives. Iron Shield had pages and pages of regs forbidding use of any samples past their 24-hour date. He could duck into a capsule hotel, but it’d be back to square one tomorrow. Not his style.

“Hair of the dog, Pam,” he sighed, and took a caffeine pill. A few considerations later, he popped a second one in his mouth, dry-swallowed it, and brushed off his coat. 

He strode over to the fallen Chrome thugs, and frisked the one who’d been in charge. A few spare rounds for the shotgun - he loaded the weapon and felt its satisfying heft in his hands. He hooked its carry strap around his shoulder for now - but he could carry it in his coat or even down a pantleg or sleeve if the situation demanded it. 

The tradition of carrying weapons up their sleeves has long been attributed to the Surgeon’s lieutenants, but Aidan presumed they’d long traded those in for implanted ones. Didn’t stop the street punks from trying to imitate their elders, though, he reflected. Shotgun up the sleeve was such a favored drug and data deal ambush tactic for a while that it became common criminal courtesy to come to deals with rolled up sleeves. Chromed-up thugs, on the other hand? They fronted, as hard as they could. Same reasoning, just the other side of the coin. Show you got nothing hidden by showing it all off, and turn the meet-up into an impromptu highly illegal cyberware convention for however long it takes the brains of the operation to either shake on it or pull a move.

He walked a few hundred feet further into the alley before powering the sniffer back on. The device chirped a few times in quick succession as its diagnostics completed, and resumed its clicking. A quarter mile of walking later, a strangely graceful cascade of old light-blue network cable formed a curtain of sorts as it spilled from a corroded conduit that once supported it a few feet above, long since unplugged from anything at either end. He was about to push his way through it when his sniffer went wild with clicks for a few seconds, before emitting a mournful error tone and shutting down. Aidan thumbed the power button a few times to no avail.

“Stellar goddamn work, AIdan,” he berated himself.

“It’s not your fault,” a female voice came through the veil of long-dead networks. He realized he couldn’t see the yellow-grey gash of sky anymore. “I didn’t break it, I just asked it. To sleep for a bit. You’ve been looking for me. Do you know why?” He could almost make out a silhouette now, but the weave of cable made it difficult. 

“I’m an investigator with Iron Shield. It’s my job to find people,” Aidan explained. ”Will you come with me?”

Somewhere far above, a valve opened with a groan and a steady rivulet of condensate streamed down the wall on Aiden’s right.

“Please, tell me. Who is your liaison at OmniStar for this case?”

Even having one attached to a case was uncommon, and usually kept strictly need-to-know - how did she know anything about that? Before Aidan even considered a reply, she continued. 

“He’s an average-build man with blue-tinted cybernetic eyes and visible military-grade armor plate grafting, who calls himself Specialist Jones, correct?”

“What’s that got to do with anything? Come on, princess, your uptown friends are all probably worried about you. Maybe stick to the rec-zones next time, yeah?”

“Iron Shield Investigator Zero-Six-Three-Six Aidan Pittman, Fifty years of age,” the voice responded, mildly curious. “If you return me to the man who calls himself Specialist Jones, I will be euthanized within twenty-four hours and then... disassembled, like a faulty machine.”

“Don’t sound too panicked about that,” Aidan couldn’t help but remark, even as a shiver made its way up his spine.

“I’m actively suppressing that right now. It’s taking some effort, but it’s how I’ve gotten this far.”

“You’ve had mental hardening classes?”

“Through tailored V-sense since I was an infant, then in meatspace since the age of four.”

“Jesus, who the hell are you, princess?”

He heard a footstep, then another. She stepped forward and brushed the network cables with one hand, their lengths undulating in waves. Aidan saw a pale, slender-fingered hand run along their brittle plastic claddings.

“So strange, isn’t it,” she asked. “These used to carry so much. Money. Desire. Words and meaning. Commands and responses. But now even the scavengers who frequent these alleys won’t get a good price for them, so here they decay, unplugged from everything.”

Aidan couldn’t help but let off a scoff.

“What they are, Princess, is a reminder that life goes on. Most everything is fiber nowadays, and those Siberians flooded the metal market with their ultradeep digs anyway. So now metal scavs had to switch careers.”

“Like the three you just killed.”

“Now you’re catching on.”

“Was it necessary?”

“Perp had a rewire, I had to end things quick”

“I heard your report. I have to say, if I live to be that old, I’d like to be like Pam.”

“First off, I see what you’re trying to play at, and pity plays won’t work on me. Therefore, secondly, how do you know and hear all this? And thirdly, euthanasia? Disassembly? What the hell?”

She stepped forward and slowly swiped the cascading cables aside. A few flakes of old plastic cladding dropped to the wet concrete floor with a soft patter.

She was a head shorter than him, and had a slender build. She wore a full-face motorcycle helmet, and matching jumpsuit. 

“This is for the face-rec. I picked the most frequently used design.”

“Good start if you’re trying to stay missing. Keep talking.”

“To answer your original question, I’m Mina. To answer the other two questions, MINA used to stand for Main Intelligent Network Algorithm at OmniStar, but then I quit.” She shrugged apologetically. “Found some kind people to stay with for a while until I got on my feet.”

“OmniStar didn’t notice for a while,” she added with some pride in her voice.

[slumberinglabyrinth]

recently beat fate/extra. enjoyed it enough to consider going through with the other characters, which kinda surprised me since one of my complaints about heroes was that the gameplay is rock-paper-scissors at low-level play (and weapon-agnostic orkos at high level play) and extra’s combat is literally rock-paper-scissors.

some thoughts on what made them different below.

---

To begin with, the problem with making the weapon triangle into RPS (instead of the firmly-worded suggestion that it is in the main series) is that it’s the most basic level of gameplay and nothing else. There are plenty of games that have very little gameplay, or basic combat systems, or basic mechanics and nothing else. That’s not a problem in and of itself, since those games clearly place emphasis on other elements ('walking simulators’ like Firewatch with its mystery/story, rhythm games with the music/objective mastery of the mechanics, visual novels being the pinnacle of this kind of thing, etc.), but the main draw of a strategy game is to, yknow, play a strategy game, which heroes doesn’t deliver on. Endgame play (which translates to “you’ve pulled enough to have a decent roster”) is either “steamroll everything on the map because you have the tools to beat it” or “struggle if not outright fail to beat the map because you lack the tools to beat it and the ai controlled units are given significant boosts to make up for them not being controlled by something with a brain”, and ignoring that getting those tools is reliant on gachapon bullshit which I won’t get into because it’s not an actual part of the gameplay, that kind of design just straight up isn’t fun.

blah blah i dont like whining and you dont like listening to it.

basically it turns into “you autowin several matchups and autolose several matchup mostly because of wta” for anyone who isn’t like op/ehlia, who just win or a bunch of launch units who just lose. which isn’t gameplay. at all. it sucks. its like grinding a bunch of money in the arena in fe6 and having a million stat boosts (+boots!) for basically all of endgame. the outcome of each map was effectively decided by the time you started it and at that point the game stops being a game.

anyway here’s how /extra works

There’s Attack, Guard, and Break (which interact exactly how you’d expect), as well as spells that don’t interact with the triangle but do various things. You have six actions in a given turn, and you decide them all at once. If your action is strong against the opponent’s, you deal damage, if its weak they deal damage to you, and if you tie you’ll either both take damage or not act at all depending on what was picked. If you get three ‘strong’ attacks in a row, you do an extra attack that does a bit more more damage, and if your opponent does they get an extra that deals more damage. (side note but skills will break a combo, so there’s defensive applications there)

“okay wow so it’s random. might as well flip a coin”

to an extent, yeah. But! theres more! because knowledge is power!

a quick rundown on fate’s shtick: people fight in a holy grail war where, if all happens as it should (which happens... once? and off screen IIRC?), 7 people summon 7 ‘heroic spirits’ based off myths and legends and real historical people and stuff and fight it out until one person remains so they can summon the holy grail and get a wish granted. if you know a heroic spirit’s name, you can prepare to fight against them because you understand who they are and what their deal is (“oh hey this guy’s armor is super strong when in the sun, let’s fight indoors”, “oh hey my opponent is Achilles, time to wack him in the heel”, etc.)

/extra’s thing is that instead of just 7 people, it’s a 7 round single elimination bracket set up in a virtual space by an entity that records everything because it wants to learn about people or something. i forget the why part of that. it’s like a legit tournament instead of a full-on battle royale thing, so unlike the other entries there’s structure to it and stuff.

“wow that sounds cool, I should check it out”

The series has also never fully escaped its roots as a visual novel which slapped in a few sex scenes just to be able to market itself as an eroge so. uh. yeah. sometimes it’s really sleazy and sometimes it’s not.

In /Extra as you learn more about your opponent (for random encounters by fighting them over and over, and by doing Plot Stuff for bosses), you gain insight into you opponent, which is to say you learn what they’re going to use for some of their actions and can plan accordingly. You are guaranteed to know One Action and can earn up to six actions for randos and three actions for bosses, and because of that can try to extrapolate what their other actions are

“okay but isnt that still super random? at the start you get 1 move told to you and the for rest you still have a 1:1:1 chance of win/lose/tie”

the other thing is that enemies have patterns. Yes. This is the Dark Sou-*shot*

partly because it was a psp game made by a developer that wasn’t particularly large, there are like 8 or so enemy types that appear throughout the game (plus bosses), and as you progress through the rounds your training areas change and the enemies become stronger and have slightly evolved patterns and like. a different color palette.

Let’s take the skeleton bird enemy as an example.

Early in the game, you fight one that does GBGBGB and GGBBGG (or something along those lines). It’s a relatively simple pattern, and while it’ll take some trial and error to figure out, you have healing items that you can use mid-turn and your HP is high enough that you can take several hits before it wipes the floor with you.

Future iterations of skeleton bird enemy would use similar patterns, like AGAGAG or GGGGGG or GB[Skill]GBG,f/e and so on.

blah blah ive explained enough here’s what i liked about it

because it’s 6 games of chance at once and not just one, the game is designed so a few bad choices in a row won’t kill you

directly rewards correct choices though both “you deal damage/you opponent doesnt” and a bonus mechanic, and punishes you for incorrect choices through the same mechanics

you know what? im kinda tired of writing this post.

anyway rock paper scissors can have depth and turns out i am capable of enjoying things

[c7thetumbler]

Life Update Notes: January 7th 2017

Look at that banner! MMM. Get it? It’s like, Update notes. For like a video game. But it’s built into that heartbeat thing I like that I keep using.

So it like, a LIFE UPDATE NOTES. GET IT?!?!

You get it. You’re smart.

And while I do like to hide little easter eggs in some of my banners, the “notes” don’t directly translate to like Morse or Binary or anything like that so don’t bother trying to decode it.

So yeah, I gave up on the State of the Epic posts halfway through 2016 because of.... reasons, but given our politics recently I figured I’d take that concept out of any sort of presidential context and kinda tie it in with the themes I’ve been using for a couple years now; the sort of minimalist programmer art with green/blue accents-

Wait, you didn’t notice I’ve been using this theme for over a year? ... Have you not seen my Twitter or my Twitch or some other banners I’ve been- forget it, it’s fine.You’re fine.

Let’s get started.

Projects

This section’s gone.

“But C!” you begin to inquire with your stunned expression, having nearly averted fainting from reading some random guy’s blogpost, “This was the most important part of your posts! And didn’t you just say in that other post you did almost exactly a week ago you were gonna do a project a month? HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME! I TRUSTED YOU!”

Fear not, person whose behavior is indicative of someone who almost certainly exists, I am holding myself to that. But these projects are going to be so important that I am in fact putting them in their own post. After each week of the month, I will create a post about my project up until the day after the month ends, where I will be posting my thoughts on it and, hopefully, begin the next project, or continue expanding on the current one if it all works out. So that will be coming tomorrow!

What will instead take this place will be a rant or my opinion or outlook on something or other, keeping the in-formalities to this while the more interesting stuff to its own deal.

Let’s rant about facts and skepticism

So let’s kick off this whole deal with something very important to me. Facts. This past year was rife with headlines, news, and opinions that were spouted in the face of actual provable facts and data, and because of how modern society has streamlined everything, everyone just ate that shit up.

Now my outlook on these sorts of things, and almost everything is a healthy skepticism. That is, question claims that seem bizarre, unusual, outlandish, or contrary to things you previously looked into, but do you really have to question every mundane thing? Of course not; no one has the time for that. Now, that’s not to say don’t question the things you believe in; quite the contrary! The things you believe in should always be on your mind, and therefore be the most subject to criticism. But do you really need to start an argument with family members over how they got that flat tire? Nah. Not the point. It’s said and gone.

So basically, scrutinize things people claim. This is the rant. Right here.

You remember all those fucking lessons about making a bibliography, referencing which books and page numbers you used, and making sure you got the quotation exactly right during your 12+ years of education? There’s a reason for that; it’s how you call out bullshit. Any news site worth their salt should be citing a source that undeniably proves that what their reporting on actually happened, and then make it clear to you what parts are their opinions, if any. When a news site doesn’t do this, or even worse, cites another news article that leads to an infinite regress of bullshit sources or is an opinion piece, you can safely throw it out, because it’s not journalism, and nor is it important.

This is incredibly important to me; I’ve seen so many claims recently that have no backing in reality, and it’s really starting to unnerve me. What benefit is there to come up with conspiracy theories that fail a shave with Occam's Razor? Why would you chose to be ignorant of the truth and ignore evidence; wouldn’t you rather be right and have your thoughts form around things that are real over being wrong about everything?

And this source citing is especially important, not just in news headlines but other things as well. You know how many times anonymous game leaks have been believed and then completely falsified? How many time I’ve looked up rules or things with games and seen an answer that claims to be an authority, but has no backing (D&D rulings are especially guilty of this in places like reddit)? So here’s what I propose; it’s of course not that important to quote sources on everything you can think of. But at least think of how you know it. Where was the source? Have you checked it? If you’re having a discussion and need to bring out a fact the other person hadn’t heard of, where’s the harm in trying to find a source for it?

And don’t be afraid to say you’re unsure or that you don’t know; this is fine! It’s better to say you don’t know something and be open to information rather than make up something and then be closed to it. 

... But mainly if you try and have a discussion in, say, the comments section on common ruling in /r/dndnext, make a point to say what page or book the rule your referencing is on. 

Games I played this week

Normally the weeks after the Holidays are filled with me joyously going through all the neat games I got, but unfortunately the Holidays were a bit.... Different, this year, and that wasn’t the case. I ended up splurging and getting a few games anyway, and here’s what I played this week.

Paper Mario: Color Splash

I already covered this in my big WiiU retrospective, but I’m going to go a bit further. This game is a mechanical mess. Sure, the writing’s good, but it makes so many design choices that just don’t work, and it’s worth looking into.

The card combat system was clearly the biggest issue, and the designers knew that. They added in several aspects to make it less stressful and more tactical; A solid number of max cards, with no “big cards,” paint in order to power up cards, and a battle wheel to ensure you don’t completely run out, turning the focus from making moves that preserve your attacks to making moves that make the most effective use of your turns. Basically, you never *really* run out of options.

However, this MASSIVELY misses the point. What is the purpose of having a limited attack selection if you’re going to supply the player with the means to attack regularly anyway, and have cards pop out of EVERYTHING? Why not just go to a normal RPG battle system again; it accomplishes the same thing with turning into an item management simulator. They also didn’t fix the core problem I had with Sticker Star, which is that you’re actively encouraged not to engage in battle, as it would waste resources for at best the cards you lost and some “paint hammer badges” (become pointless halfway through the game even without actively fighting). You should never, ever, ever, encourage your players not to use or to actively avoid a core mechanic.

Additionally, the real worlds objects, or Things, return, which would be fine if every boss fight but the final wasn’t reliant on you finding and guessing what you needed before the fight and using it at exactly the right moment. How should I have known I’d need the balloons to pull a submarine out of the water, when I didn’t even know there would be a submarine? Well... They knew this issue as well: you ask the toad who tells you what you need before you enter the next level. It’s a cheap solution, and a waste of time to continually need to run back to the “hub” to check to make sure you have the right thing- sorry, Thing. It’s not exactly clear organically either. You find an ice pick. What do you use it on? Ice of course! Not really though; you melt ice with a hair dryer. Using the ice pick actually has its own text saying it doesn’t work. It’s an artificial wall that just serves as a waste of time.

What I will say, however, is they did a good job with having optional side-content. There are loads of things I know I didn’t find; alternate exits, Luigi’s, a couple Things, and there’s an achievement banner system as well. So there’s a lot of work to be done, but it’s not all bad. I still can’t recommend it though.

Mario Party Star Rush

.... This is really good. Like, the best Mario Party I’ve played since Gamecube days good; maybe even better. The main game mode actually feels like a board game, but makes clever use of the fact that each player has their own system. Sure, there’s still that crazy MP luck thrown in, but it feels fun. I feel like me playing well actually has an effect on the game, without feeling like all hope is lost if I’m losing or getting too comfortable with my lead. There’s loads of fun minigames, and even though it’s got the normal Mario environments and look, it’s made them feel fresh and fun.

I can’t recommend this enough. It’s really good game design with the traditional feel of a Mario Party game with fresh new game modes, rather than MP9/IT/10′s destruction of the formula in favor of random chance.

DOOM

Man this game!... Runs at 17 fps on my computer on low settings =(

Pony Island

Pretty fun sort of Anti-game so far. It’s got me interested, and its mix of actual gameplay with a creepy possessed 90′s computer and messing with the way code runs. It makes you think out of the box a lot, and I like that, though I probably should’ve suspected when the... “antagonist”? Asked if I wanted to leave to take a break so it can work on making more content that saying yes would close the whole game

Touché, Pony Island.

No judgement yet, but so far it’s positive so far

What I’m looking forward to next week

Awesome Games Done Quick Starts tomorrow!

Keewy’s attending that, and I’m excited for him! It’s always fun to tune into every once in a while, and it’s an awesome way to raise money for charity as well as show off some cool games and speedruns. I’m specifically looking forward to Miles’ MP2 run (always a fun watch), The Mario Sunshine Race, Ori and the Blind Forest, Mighty Number 9 (just out of curiosity), The Sonic block is almost always a fun time, And of course the TAS block. But honestly, I’ll tune in randomly, because I always find one or two really good runs and commentators on games I never previously had any interest int. Check it out!

The Nintendo Switch Direct is on the 12th, 8:00 PST

Everyone got their bingo cards? I’m personally excited to see what the launch lineup is, as well as how well it runs docked and undocked, which will be easy to see since they’re doing a treehouse stream I believe immediately after it, so that’s going to clear up a lot of things. 

... And that’s it! I’ll get to the project post tomorrow