#also for the record I do LOVE Jake and Simon I just think it’s a little uneven 🙃 a lot

[sickgraymeat]

Criticism of Simon: He was kinda creepy but that was just the crown

Criticism of Jake: He was a bad dad but y’know circumstances

Criticism of PB: [essay length explanation of how everything she ever did was terrible and worse than anything anyone else ever did]

Criticism of other characters: [idk I haven’t seen any]

[sophies-junkyard]

NOBODY ASKED but… Obviously Simon’s arc in adventure time solidified the series as one of greatest of all time (and I’m so hyped for this ice king sadness renaissance) but now I’m thinking of OTHER Adventure Time moments that rewired my brain as a kid. In no particular order:

1. “Once the strong guys got it how they liked it they said ‘this is fair now. This is the law.’ Once they were winning they changed the rules”. They really had the cartoon dog say that on tv in 2014.

2. “People get built different. We don’t have to understand it, we just gotta respect it”

3. The entirety of All The Little People. That shit was absolutely nuts for a kids show but also like…. I can’t articulate the lesson I just know there was one and it haunted me. The danger of the human ego. Hubris. Irreverence. Don’t play god bro.

4. Lady and Peebles. When PB ripped Ricardio’s leg off and bashed his skull in with it. And it was so hardcore they edited it out of the episode. Bro. I remember watching that after school one day and how my jaw just DROPPED at a PRINCESS being so brutal. They let her be so fucking angry and that was a game changer.

5. [Finn, about a horrific memory] “that one’s going in the vault. Aaaaaaaaaandd. It’s gone.” I quote that CONSTANTLY. It’s a great way to bring levity to a bad situation, but also forces me to go “hey wait a sec that’s not gonna work forever”. Things don’t stay in the vault.

6. Puhoy. He lived an entire life in that pillow world. He had kids. And then it’s just gone like a dream.

7. The deer. It was probably my first real introduction to horror. The hand wiggle. You all know exactly what I’m referencing. Were the candy people stuck in that well for 6 months???

8. What Was Missing!! Obviously now because it foreshadowed (and confirmed past) Bubbline, but back then just because it was so good??? IMO, this is the episode that defined WHO our main cast was, and how their relationships needed to grow for them to be content. It set up the next 6 years of the show! Plus it gave us 2 absolute BANGERS. Ugh i rewatched that recording so many times it wasn’t even funny.

9. Ghost Princess. Really just for the line where he sounds like he’s gonna shit his pants remembering his death and then in a clear narrator voice he’s like “I was a broken man.”

10. The pajama war episode. Now I’m doing this from memory so I could be wrong, but I think this really marks the start of Finn growing up. “I’ve really enjoyed just… hanging out with you.” The ability to start over with someone you’ve got complicated history with. The kindness. The growth from both of them!! It’s a direct parallel of episode 1 but their tones couldn’t be more different and I love it.

11. The slow and horrifying realization that The Mushroom War was nuclear Armageddon. Mushroom clouds. That went so far over my head as a kid even though they reference it constantly. It finally clicked during “I remember you”. Which I am NOT gonna go into because holy fuck that’s like 18 posts on its own.

12. Goliad! A child mirroring EVERYTHING they see, for better or worse. Seeing Jake in a bad moment screaming at the kids and goliad absorbing that behavior. Seeing she can use fear to control people. Also PB was Fucking Crazy! Her line “I’m not gonna live forever… I would if I could” is even more unhinged when we learn (like years later) that she’s already 900 years old. But she does physically age so I guess there’s that. The Suitor also falls into this category of episodes.

Ok getting into some of the more talked about moments

1. OK I LIED I have to talk about I remember you. I was 11 years old. I turned on the new adventure time episode like usual. 10 minutes later I was grappling with a grief I had never imagined before. Absolutely BAWLING not just for Simon and Marceline (the PLOT), but for what it showed me. The reality that every kid tries not to think about: your loved ones will leave you someday, even if they don’t want to. It’s an episode that becomes more powerful with every year I get older. To get a bit personal, dementia has completely taken my grandparents from me. I’ve seen sides of my grandfather that should never have existed, and I must constantly forgive him for what he does… now that he doesn’t remember me. And someday it’ll be my parents. That’s just the way of the world, ya know? Anyways, I remember my mom got home right as the credits were rolling and we had a long talk about keeping people alive with memory, mortality, and how the future was far away and we should decide on dinner lmao.

2. The Hall of Egress. I was almost 15. Life was changing. I was changing, and it was strange and frightening. That feeling where you know you’re losing your childhood but you just want to cling to it. Follow the same old familiar path, stick with what’s comfortable. But life doesn’t work that way. It took me years to really understand this episode and it’s symbolism. Honestly I still don’t think I could fully explain it. It’s like. How do I put this. I was so glad to be in the target age group in that moment. I was so glad that something I was growing up with was assuring me “you’re changing, but we’re changing too”. And isn’t that the theme of adventure time? Everything stays, but it still changes.

3. The absolute horror of Ferns existence. He’s Finn, but he’s wrong and warped. All those memories of the people he loves and they can’t stand to be in the same room as him.

4. Susan Strong. The introduction of a RUNNING PLOT. The show up to that point had really been so goofy and so monster of the week. I think the only really plot heavy episode before this one was It Came From the Nightosphere? And then suddenly they call into question the fact that Finn really is the ONLY HUMAN in all of OOO. And then… is he? It was SUCH a departure from the usual tone. Ending that episode with him reaching below her hat and gasping in shock, but never telling the audience what he found. And then she’s just gone. Which leads us to Islands!

5. Min and Marty. Second saddest episode in the entirety of adventure time, made worse because you know exactly how this family is gonna end up. There’s SO MUCH to dissect about Martins behavior in the series. A reformed con artist receives a traumatic brain injury while attempting to save his son. They’re both lost at sea, and he never looks for him. Was it the emotional trauma? Was it the physical damage? Meanwhile a mother loses her husband and her child in a single night and never EVER learns why. Nobody but Martin knows what happened that night. Also Finns fear of the ocean from season 1 is finally explained. 7 years of ignoring Finns origins and then they throw you THIS??? Watching it live was unreal.

Anyways I’m sure I’ll think of more. I might add on to this later for my own sake lmao, but I’d love to hear other peoples formative moments, quotes, episodes, etc. I really just needed to dump this information out of my brain so I can get on with my week.

[tarotoftheendless]

Hey... So, yeah, my Waiting for Forever fanfic has been on hiatus... I do plan on continuing to write it, just life stuff has come up, same with just crippling depression.

I have plans for my Waiting for Forever fanfic, so it will come, just slowly, sadly... I love Willie too much to abandon him.

I also have had some other great ideas for fanfics that I both would either like to write myself or allow someone else to write with some input from me on the idea. Most of the ideas for fanfics I have are things I would love to read myself, so...

Of course all my ideas are Tom Sturridge related... Here are some of my ideas for fanfics... If you want to write it yourself, just please reach out to me and ask me what my full idea was and maybe give me a bit of credit for helping to come up with it, that's all I ask if you are gonna write before I have the chance to.

Tom Sturridge fanfic Ideas:

Nathan from 'Skin'. It's an 11 minute short film that showcases how amazing Tom is as an actor. He gives so much to this performance, I was floored.

What we were able to get from the story is that he is grieving the death of his husband. Well, I am assuming Daniel, that's the man's name that Nathan was with, was his husband considering it seemed like it was more than just boyfriends.

The AI voice never states what Company that Nathan works for, so I have been calling it The Company... Which started to sound ominous in my head. It could be a tech company, but it could also be a company with illuminati levels of influence...

My idea, vaguely, was that after the stunt that Nathan pulls to manipulate the AI into playing a recording of his husband's voice, The Company makes him agree to a Live-In Companion, much like a Companion from Firefly but less just a one and done. And in my mind Nathan is bisexual. He agrees, but chooses a female companion.

She is to stay with him for three months, helping him with whatever he needs, like whatever he needs, to help him heal from his grief of losing his husband... So he is work ready again for The Company. If he fails to become work ready in that time or if he does not sign the documentation to start the process, The Company will terminate him and take him to court over the stunt he pulled.

I have so many ideas for this, all of them very thriller sci-fi conspiracy and action, with smut of course thrown in there. Like what if The Company gave Nathan's husband the cancer he ultimately died of? Why? For what reason? Juicy shit my guys, juicy shit.

I wish I could write this myself... And maybe I will... Unless someone else likes it so much to collab with me on it?

Anyway, next idea....

Jake. Jakey. Baby Jakey. Sweetbitter.

So, I had a thought awhile ago that Jake would be great with a roller derby chick... But then I thought maybe he would be great with a professional dancer... Like all styles of dance. She has spent her life training in dance. And she moves into the apartment next door to Jake's place. No new hire at the restaurant bullshit. She is removed from it because that is what Jake needs in a relationship. Something separate from the restaurant.

I had the thought that she was hired to be the choreography coordinator at Broadway, so, she is a career driven woman, something I think Jake needs. Vision. And I think this dancer OC would help him see that he is a good enough photographer to actually pursue that as a career.

Like what if she shows her boss at Broadway his work and her boss wants to hire him for a fuck ton of money to shoot dress rehearsal and opening night, where his photos will be chosen for an article on the play in The New York Times, who is looking for a new journalist photographer. Like it could be life changing.

I had the thought that the play would be the musical Moulin Rouge...

And yeah, Jake will be Jake about it, self-doubt, the Simone of it all. But I think it could work. Giving Jake a partner that believes in him and wants him to choose something for himself and himself alone just this once.

Anyway... Another idea I have is a parody idea... Of a cross-over of The Great British Baking Show and The Sandman. Like it's a promotional episode of TGBBS for The Sandman.

The actors playing The Endless would do the Signature and Technical as themselves, the actors, but for the Show-Stopper, they are their characters.

It was a funny idea. And I don't know all the actors and characters enough to write it believably, so, someone who does, please write this. I think it would be so fucking funny.

And who would win? Is it just one episode or are they doing multiple to actually get the The Endless that is the star of The Great British Baking Show?

Anyway, those are my ideas for fanfics... And yeah, I still am gonna write my Waiting for Forever fanfic, it's just slow going...

Here's a cute Willie for now 😘

[koschei-the-ginger]

Screw it, brief reviews of Jason Bateman's filmography pre-Arrested Development

(there are only 4 pics but the post is long)

1981 Little House on the prairie - He was there for 1 season and already became so popular they made the grand finale all about him being a proof that God exists lol

1983 Just a little more love - can't find this one

1982 Silver spoons - they had to fire him because the second he appeared on screen nobody gave a crap about the other kid, iconic, I've only had Derek Taylor for 21 episodes but if anything happened to him yk yk..

1984 Knight Rider - Derek Taylor steals a car

1985 Robert Kennedy and his Times - I'm sure he's in it somewhere but it's like SIX hours long and incredibly boring

1984 The Fantastic World of DC Cooper - Derek Taylor strikes again

1984 It's your Move - Arrested Development for 6th graders, this show is SO fucking funny the parents insisted on killing it together with his Derek-sona for good.

1985 Right to kill - blink and you'll miss him, this is his sister's movie

1986 Mr Belvedere - MILF CHASER

1986 Can you feel me dancing - a commissioned tv movie to show off Justine Bateman's range

1986 St Elsewhere - see, Dave Hogan can do drama too (no)

1986 Valerie/ The Hogan family - his most famous role pre-AD and I genuinely don't understand why, stale bread even for a family sitcom™. Cancelled for being the only show that was normal about aids thanks to Jason. They also dyed his hair to a different shade of auburn each season for some reason lol

1987 Bates Motel - this was supposed to be a sequel to Psycho 🤨

1987 Teen Wold too - words cannot describe how much I hate this movie and everything about it

1987 Matlock - he's playing "Jason Bateman, the star of Valerie" only 1 year after they fired Valerie from Valerie hmm...

1987 Moving target - this was fine

1988 Our House - if your kids think giving 10k to a teenager will get them a record label at 13 it's on them, he did nothing wrong

1988 Crossing the mob - you can watch this but god at what cost, it's so grainy you can barely see their faces (okay movie tho)

1989 Breaking the rules - commissioned to show that he can do some "serious" acting, a tragic mistake on everyone's part

1991 Necessary roughness - Scott Bakula simps, I understand, no I seriously get it

1992 A Taste for killing - for every good movie (prev) you get 2 bad ones

1994 Confessions: two faces of evil - COPAGANDA

1994 This can't be love - *looks up synonyms for CUTE*

1994 Black sheep - can't find this one either

1995 Hart to Hart - he was so annoying they made him believe he's related to Donald Trump I can't even rgsthsrth

1995 An affectionate look at fatherhood - can't find this one either²

1995 Burke's law - this show is so camp you need to WATCH THE DUEL

1995 Simon - the writing is atrocious, he's trying SO hard to make it work while Harland Williams recites every line as if he had just learnt to read. Tragically, a must watch, I wish it existed in HD

1996 Ned and Stacey - a sitcom star playing a sitcom star in a sitcom making fun of Friends, 10/10

1997 Chicago sons - 3 polish brothers live together, Jared Paladecki isn't in this eventhough there are at least 4 people that look like him

1998 George and Leo - if this came out today AO3 would be full of this elderly gay couple

1999 Love stinks - not mine but yk

2000 Rude awakening - the absence of a laugh track caught me off guard, he's doing his best Bud Bundy impression down to the tragic goatee

2001 Some of my best friends - after this many cancelled sitcoms you stop seeing AD as a show that's simply good but as a miracle

2002 The Jake effect - if Scrubs was about hs teachers

2002 The sweetest thing - nobody cares about the men this is the penis song movie

2002 No way out - this is like Cary Elwes-kind of bad

2003 Sol Goode - blink and you'll miss him (idk what's even happening)

2003 Twillight Zone -someone get him an Emmy for trying to bribe a ghost of a kid he unintentionally murdered

[what-is-your-plan-today]

Leave No One Behind

Ch 12- Win Some, Lose Some

Part 2

Co written with @icanfeelastormbrewing​

Summary: After 2 years of being at the resort Ari and the other agents are gearing up for yet another mission, but there’s a little bit of trouble in paradise for him and Hannah…

Warnings: Bad Language words. Smut (NSFW, 18+ only)

Pairings: Ari Levinson x OFC Hannah Horowitz

Part 1 

Ari woke the next morning and instantly realised something was missing. Simon’s ass from his face. With a stretch he cracked his neck slightly and opened one eye to find that Hannah was also gone. With a little yawn he sat up, rubbing his eyes before he swung his legs off the side of the bed and stood up, heading to the small bathroom. Once finished, he located a pair of swim shorts form the chest of drawers at the side of the hut and pulling them on he made his way outside.

Hannah wasn’t far away. In fact, she was stood straight in front of the hut at the water’s edge as Simon stood by her side, the pair of them simply looking out over the ocean which was alive with the rich, warm pinks and oranges of the rising sun. She was dressed in Ari’s shirt from the night before, her hair in a tangle of curls as it fell down her back, and there was something so raw and intimate about the moment it made Ari’s breath catch. Slipping back into the hut he located Hannah’s polaroid camera and quickly made his way back outside. He took a quick snap, and returned back inside, placing it back down along with the photo to develop before he strode back out of the door and down to the water’s edge.

Of course Simon heard him coming and turned, eliciting a little bark as he trotted towards him. He leaned down to give his dog an ear scratch before he smiled at Hannah who had turned her head over her shoulder to face him. She responded with a smile of her own, looking back at the ocean as he wrapped his arms around her from behind dropping a gentle kiss to her neck.

“You’re up early.” He said as her hands gently came to rest on his strong arms as they pulled her back into him, the fabric of the shirt she was wearing brushing against his bare chest.

“Couldn’t sleep.” She shrugged.

Ari’s nose nuzzled against the skin below her ear and he pressed another soft kiss to her jaw line “You still feeling a little down?”

Hannah took a deep breath and shrugged as her nails raked over his arms.

“You know, if it’s too much…you could go back.” He suggested and felt her still.

“As in, for good?”

“Yeah.” Ari shrugged, “Like I said, I don’t think we have an awful lot of time left…”

“I’m not quitting” Hannah said simply, turning in his arms. “I came to do a job, and I’m gonna see it through.”

“I knew you’d say that” he chuckled and Hannah watched her hands as they smoothed up over his pecs to his shoulders before she met his eyes.

“Why ask me then?” she arched an eyebrow as she looked at him, his hands flexing on her hips.

“Because I love you and I don’t wanna see you sad or unhappy because of me ever again.”

“This isn’t because of you.” Hannah shook her head “You egotistical ass.”

“Harsh!” Ari cocked an eyebrow as she grinned as he huffed out a laugh, “But I mean it Han. I don’t want you feeling like you have to stay.”

“I don’t” she shrugged “Honestly, don’t worry about me. It’ll pass Ari, I promise.”

She pressed her lips to his in a soft kiss before she glanced over to their left and nodded as two people passed them on the beach. “Guests are stirring, I should go shower and get ready for breakfast.”

“Ok.” He nodded and she looked up at him, biting her lip.

“Wanna come scrub my back?”

“You know…” Ari’s hands locked at the base of her back “The amount of times you ask me to do that, you should really invest in a loofah.”

“Yeah but, where’s the fun in that?” she grinned “Besides, why have a wolf and howl yourself?”

Ari gave a snort as she grinned again, stepping out of his hold, slipping her hand into his before she tugged him along with her over the sand towards their hut, Simon trotting behind them. 

****

One of the best traditions the team had come up with since they had started running a now not-so-fake hotel was the party they always held the night before a group of tourists were due to leave. It was the perfect excuse to let loose and celebrate together with another group of satisfied guests, albeit not the ones that were counted on the board. There was always a great bonfire, drinks and good music all accompanied by lots of laughter and wishes of a safe trip back home. 

That night was to be no exception to the rule and as Ari and Max were putting the final touch to the makeshift dance floor and checking the sound system, which had been upgraded since the first time they threw that kind of farewell party, Jake and Hannah were in charge of starting the bonfire under the watchful eye of Sammy. Rachel was looking after them all and ensuring they had a steady supply of beer before she settled down on Sammy’s lap. Simon stood a little away from the group, minding his own business which was chasing and trying to bite his own tail.

They were all discussing the choice of music for the night, as Ethan had sent them some new records with the latest shipment, and Max picked one out to check the sound system was up and running. As the upbeat sounds of Rio by Duran Duran rang across the beach the conversation had taken a rather odd turn, shifting to the discussion about who was the best front man- Simon Le Bon vs John Taylor.

"I used to have hair like John Taylor..." Jake piped up, taking a swig of his beer.

"So did Sammy." Hannah snorted, the look on her brother's face made her burst out with laughter as besides her Ari chuckled, his arm draped over her shoulders.

Sammy groaned. "Yeah, laugh all you want but we don't need to discuss that."

"And the stash?" she pressed, making Jake laugh out loud and Rachel chuckle. “Can we discuss that?”

Sammy glared at Jake and then at his sister. "Shut up, Han."

But, despite Sammy's deadly stares, Hannah continued her tirade. "You should have seen him. It was pretty...”

"Cool?" Jake cut her off.

"Disturbing." she blurted out with a grin.

"You two can kiss my ass." Sammy snapped at them, the pair of them dying with laughter by then, before he patted Rachel's hip and stood up to go and get changed.

A few hours later the party was in full swing, and the alcohol was flowing. Hannah who was visibly drunk by then had disappeared for some time and had returned with her polaroid and was busy annoying the boys with it. 

“Pose for me guys…you’re so pretty.” She grinned, before she looked at her brother “Well, apart from you Sammy."

"Fucking fuck you Han." Sammy protested as he staggered, almost falling over.

Rachel started howling just as Ari chuckled and hiccuped. "You can’t, don’t talk to her like that man." he said, shoving Sammy a little, spilling some of his beer in the process. "Oops." he hiccuped again.

"She’s a dick." Sammy snarled.

"Yeah but man…just no." Ari managed to say, his tongue feeling thick and not quite cooperating.

"Lobo stop mooooving. I’m tryina take a photo." Hannah whined, looking at them. "Sammy can you just... like not be here. In the picture I mean." she said as she shifted her weight on the sand trying to not lose balance.

"Red if you make us stand here any longer my clothes are gonna go outta fashion." Jake complained as he let his head fall, his arms over Max and Ari's shoulders.

"Your clothes were outta fashion when my papa was alive, Jake." Hannah quipped, fast as lighting

"Bitch!" Jake groaned.

“Hey, don’t call my girl names, asshole." Ari teased, yanking Jake's arm off his shoulder and turning to shove him which ended in both men faking a heated fight on the sand. "For fuck sake Hannah." Sammy yelled, stepping away from Jake and Ari's mock fight. "Take the camera back inside. You’re drunk."

"So are you." she said, sticking her tongue out at her brother.

"Yeah but I ain’t holding a camera, it’ll end up full of sand or broken."

She paused and looked at him as his words sunk in, and then she shrugged “Yes Dad” and started walking towards her and Ari's hut, stumbling on the sand, drunk as she was. Only she stumbled a little more heavy than she was anticipating and unable to steady herself she was fully expecting to face plant into the sand, until a hand gently grabbed her arm to stop her from falling.  

"Thanks." she whispered honestly as she looked up to see one of the younger guests from the group that had been diving with Jake the day before smiling at her.

“You’re welcome.” He spoke, but not loosening his grip, instead he kept his gaze locked on her, grin spreading across his face.

Max, who had been watching the guy with curiosity, nudged Ari and nodded his head towards the scene.

"What the fuck is that bastard doing?" Ari yelled, a big frown on his sweaty forehead as he released Jake from the headlock he’d had him in.

"Touching up Cracker...I think..." Max shrugged.

"Quit stirring Max " Jake spoke, brushing the sand off his shirt. "She tripped and he stopped her falling bud, that's it."

Ari groaned and took a sip from his beer, eyes still watching. Eventually he saw Hannah step back and laugh before heading up towards their hut. But he didn't miss the way the dark haired man’s eyes followed her, or the way his pals all nudged him and gestured in Hannah’s direction, all of them grinning.

"I’m��watching you, you German bastard." Ari mumbled but loud enough for Sammy to hear.

"I told you. It’s always Germans." Sammy said before hiccuping.

"Fuck off. My parents are German." Rachel shoved Sammy.

"Yeah Sammy, the in laws won’t like you talking like that." Max scoffed and Ari snorted as Sammy's eyes opened wide with realisation.

"Sorry babe." Sammy apologized and then glared at Ari. Having heard his snort "Yeah, like my mother likes you, asshole."

“You know your mother loves me, jerk. So much so I went round for dinner last time I was home and she made meatloaf."

"What? Why did you…" Sammy stuttered and Ari grinned at him. "Fuck…"

"No, that’s Ethan’s job." Ari quipped, making everyone but Sammy burst out with laughter.

"You’re sick, you know that? That’s disgusting." Sammy glared at him.

"Everything is disgusting according to you." Jake stated, with a shrug.

"To be fair the thought of my mom banging my boss...." Max said, shuddering at the thought.

"Shut up Irving!" 

"He’s very charming with all those elegant outfits." Rachel conceded.

"Yeah well he can go and charm someone else." Sammy glared at her.

"Don’t you mean some-mum else?" Jake snorted, making Sammy groan as they all sniggered. 

"But Rachel has a point. None of you have seen his silk robe." Ari spoke and Max was fast in following suit. "Mama N has."  He grinned at Ari who grimaced, readying himself for Sammy's final outburst.

"Will you all shut the fuck up?" he growled.

"Ok, ok sorry Sammy." Ari tried to calm him down as he shook his head

"What’s up? Are you angry again Sammy bear?" Hannah, who had just come back, asked noticing her brother's angry face. And she felt Ari's arm curl possessively round her waist, pulling her to him as he chuckled at Sammy's roll of eyes at her sister's pet name for him.

"Sammy doesn’t like Ethan banging your mother, Red." Jake explained, crooking a smile at Sammy.

Hannah wrinkled her nose at the mention of Ethan being her mother's partner. "Well... whatever" she started and then shrugged "Come on guys, let’s dance. I wanna dance." she suddenly changed topic as she grabbed Rachel's hand pulling her towards the “dance floor”.

"Bye then." Max raised his beer to the retreating girls.

"Yeah I’m gonna go dance too." Jake announced, and Ari saw his eyes flicker over a pretty blonde woman who was stood with a group of her friends.

"By dance you mean grind against some clueless tourist?" Max jabbed at Jake who flipped a finger at him as he left.

"They won't be clueless for long." Ari snorted. Half an hour later, after some dancing and more drinking, Ari noticed Hannah and Rachel were surrounded by the German Tourists who had all been watching Hannah. Ari was observing from a distance, the jealousy building slowly but surely, and when at one point he saw one of them wrap an arm round Hannah's shoulder and dip his head unabashedly towards her face he snapped.

"Fucker" he snarled as he started striding over but was stopped by someone grabbing his shoulder. He turned round only to see Sammy was the one holding him back.

"Don't cause a scene man. Han's got it, look." Sammy nodded his head in the girls' direction causing Ari to turn to look in time to see Hannah pulling away, her hands planted on the guy’s chest, shaking her head firmly.

"Yeah, back off asshole…" Ari hissed. "Wait. Is she smiling at him? Why is she smiling at him?" he asked Sammy, his eyes never leaving the scene though.

"She's just being polite." Max said in an attempt to downplay the issue.

"Sure." Ari snorted as he watched Hannah still smiling, her hands still on the guy’s shoulders. "Whatever. I’m ending this now." and he motioned to start towards the guy again. Sammy groaned and called at him to stop, but this time it was Max who physically did it.

"Look chill. There’s nothing going on there and like Sammy said, you’ll cause a scene. Besides Jake is close by."

But Ari was pissed and he was equally drunk, his alcohol fuelled brain wasn't working logically as all he could see was Hannah smiling at that guy that was far too close to her. As he stood watching, his jaw twitching, fists balling at his side, eventually the guy stepped back and held his hands up, turning to leave the girls alone.

Hannah watched the guy as he went, shaking her head at his complete and utter forward nature,  and then spotted Ari. His handsome features which were usually soft when he looked at her were hardened and his gentle blue eyes blazed with rage she hadn’t seen in a long time. She frowned at the outward display of anger and she excused herself from Rachel and Jake and headed over.

"I’m gonna grab a snack." Max was the first to split, as soon as he noticed Hannah approaching.

"Good idea." Sammy agreed and they hastily headed off. 

Hannah watched them for a moment as they left and then turned to Ari, whose jaw was twitching. "What’s wrong Lobo?"

"You tell me Firefly." he replied and she frowned at his flat tone.

"I don't know that's why I asked." she said softly, not wanting to fuel whatever was bothering him.

He scoffed. "You can’t be that oblivious."

Hannah stared at him and frowned again. "Are you talking about that guy just then?"

"Oh, so you do know what I’m talking about then."

She groaned, his jealous nature which was cute at times was at others fucking annoying.  "Ari, he made a pass at me, I told him no. I'm not sure what else there is to say."  

She frowned, feeling slightly puzzled not least because she had done nothing wrong but if Ari really believed what he had seen, then he surely would have been straight in there. He had done it before…

"Why you think he made that move?" Ari asked shrugging slightly at Hannah’s shocked expression.

"You think…” Hannah trailed off, her puzzled expression sliding into one of anger as she realised what Ari was implying and she narrowed her eyes. “You know what? Fuck this." she snarled and turned to leave.

"Firefly!" he growled. "Where do you think you’re going? Come back here! Hannah!"

Hannah stopped and turned to face him, gathering all the self-control she had in her not to slap him straight across his face for yelling at her. "To bed Ari. But for the record the only reason I'm not screaming at you right now is because of all these guests. You're being a fucking asshole, Levinson."

 "No, I’m not." he hissed. "You’re being a brat Hannah."

"I’m being a brat?" she let out a sarcastic, hearty laugh. "Fuck you." she spat at him and with that she stormed off in their hut direction.

Ari stood frozen watching her leave for a moment and when the realization of what had just happened washed over him he kicked the sand. "Fuck!" and he paused for a few seconds, considering his options, before he went after her. He could tell she was aware he was just behind her as she sped up till she finally reached the hut and went to slam the door but Ari got his foot in the way.

"Nice try Firefly."

"Fuck you Ari." she spat those words at him again.

Simon looked up from where he had been dozing on the bed, his head cocking to the side at the raised voices.

"Hey! I’m the one who has the right to be pissed." 

"No, no you don’t Ari!"

"Ok, now, you listen to me…" Ari said sternly as he brushed his hair off his face.

“I don't wanna listen. I'm done." she bit back.

"Fine, whatever." he said as he took off his shirt and went into the bathroom. He usually let her go first but not that night, he was making his point and was determined to stand for it, whatever it took or so he thought as he looked at his reflection in the mirror, his hands gripping the basin so hard his knuckles were now white. He sighed and tried to steady his breathing before sorting himself out and emerging into the room again.

 "Can I go in now?" Hannah asked sarcastically, standing up from where she was sat on the bed.

"All yours." he replied, equally as sarcastic.  

She stalked past him, staring straight ahead, before she shut the door behind her. Once alone in the room she  sat on the toilet, her head in her hands as she started sobbing, all the rage she was feeling seeping from her eyes. That was not how that night was supposed to go, but she had no fucking idea what or why he thought she’d encouraged anything. And the hypocrite was talking just the previous day about keeping the guests satisfied after she’d teased him about flirting. Did he really not trust her that much? She was well aware they were both drunk, so that was probably worse than it should be but still…it hurt.  She felt the tears sting her eyes and wiped them away as he breathed in deeply before standing to wash her face and clean her teeth.  

When she came back into the bedroom Ari was led on his back, looking up at the ceiling. She made an effort to ignore him and grabbed a vest and a pair of shorts, changed and got into bed, turning so her back was to him before clicking off the small lamp at her side of the bed.

Ari turned his head to look at her, letting out a sigh. He hesitated for a moment but he then shuffled and turned towards her back and was about to stretch his arm out for her when she spoke.

"Don’t you dare touch me, Ari."

He grit his teeth at her hoarse voice. He could tell she had been crying but at that point in time he was pissed off. He tried to come up with an equally hurtful comment to show his annoyance but all he managed to say was “Good night firefly."

As no response came on Hannah's part, with an angry groan and a roll of his eyes he turned back the other way and for the first time since they started sharing a bed 2 years ago, they didn’t fall asleep wrapped up in each other’s arms.

And the space between them felt like miles.

******

The next morning Ari woke up to Simon, as always, led on his face. Pushing him off, the dog giving the usual low grumble of protest, Ari grimaced a little at the movement, his limbs feeling heavy.  The room was quiet, but he could hear Hannah in the bathroom. With a groan he dropped his arm over his eyes in an attempt to keep the light from painfully flooding his system. His head was pounding and the inside of his mouth felt like he had been eating the sand from the beach.

He cast his mind back over the events of the night and he could remember drinking, fooling around and then everything going to shit. He really didn’t want to think about it, but his stubborn brain led him to replay it over and over again. The more he thought about it, the more he knew he had been an ass, but that bastard making a move to kiss his girl had sent him into overdrive. Fortunately the current set of tourists were leaving that morning and once they were gone Ari could concentrate on damage control with Hannah.

At that point the door to bathroom opened and he moved his arm away from his eyes to see Hannah stepping back into the room, already dressed in a pair of red shorts and a loose fitting white t-shirt that slouched off her right shoulder giving him a flash of her blue bikini strap. Ignoring the fact that the room was spinning, Ari sat up slightly in bed to look at her for a moment before he tentatively spoke.

“You woke up early Firefly” his voice was a little croaky, fuck he needed water.  

“Couldn’t sleep” came the clipped response.

“Han…” he sighed, but she clearly wasn’t in the mood to speak to him.

“I think I’m gonna go for a walk on the beach.” She replied, her tone flat. Ari started to protest but she completely ignored him. “I need to get out of here. I’m suffocating”

“Hannah.” He tried again, and this time she took a deep, annoyed voice and snapped her head round to look at him.

“What?” she demanded.

He knew that speaking to her whilst she was still angry at him would merely result in them arguing even more so he sighed, shaking his head. “Nothing.”

“Whatever.” She rolled her eyes and walked towards the door. As she wrenched it violently open, Simon bounced off the bed and trotted after her as she left, slamming it behind her causing Ari to wince at the noise.

He lay back with a groan, cursing himself. Hannah was really pissed, and now his mind began to wander furiously. He had to make this right, he couldn’t risk losing her. Not again.

“For fucks sake Levinson, get a grip” he chastised himself. This was an argument, a stupid, ridiculous argument that’s all. Worrying about losing her was a little extreme. Wasn’t it?

He lay there, his mind arguing with itself for a few minutes before the sound of voices drifted through the lattice screens which covered the window to their hut. Knowing that he really should get up to see the guests off he kicked off the blankets and swung his legs off the side of the bed before he headed into the bathroom. After a quick shower he pulled on a clean pair of swim shorts and a light and pink hooped t-shirt before he shoved on his socks and hiking boots and headed out.

Breakfast was a quiet affair. Everyone was visibly hungover, plus the tension between Ari and Hannah was festering in the air casting a shadow over the usual well natured meal. There was no gentle touching, no longing looks, no grins, no giggles. The atmosphere was sour, and impossible to ignore.

“You ok, Han?” Sammy looked at his sister as she was picking at a croissant, not really eating much of it.

“Fine Sam.” Her response was short but not angry. Sammy frowned and looked at Ari who was drinking his coffee, deliberately avoiding anyone’s gaze.

Rachel and Jake exchanged glances as Max studied Hannah for a moment. Suddenly conscious everyone’s attention was her she pushed her plate away from her and stood up.

“Excuse me, I need to feed Simon.”

She moved away from the table, Ari following her with his eyes, his head bowing slightly once she was out of sight.

“Something wrong with Cracker?” Max asked.

“Leave it.” Sammy instructed, his eyes flicking to Ari’s before his best friend turned away. He then glanced at Rachel who gave a small sigh and stood up, ready to go and find her but Ari stopped her as he drained his coffee and issued an instruction.

“Make sure everyone is checked out, the bus will be leaving in 30.”

Rachel looked at him, blinking but she didn’t argue “Sure.”

With that he stood up and wandered outside, lighting up a cigarette. As he took a drag he leaned on the wall and out came the group of tourists that had been dancing with the girls the night before. He nodded his head to greet them, a little stiffly, offering no trace of a smile. His eyes watched the asshole that had made the move on his Firefly as he nudged one of the guys on his left, laughing as one by one they settled on the sun-loungers, a few meters away, suitcases by their side ready to depart.

Ari tuned his attention to the ocean, watching the early morning sun bouncing off the surface, and he was trying not to listen, he really was, but he just couldn’t help it when one of the guys, clear as day, asked the asshole if he had said goodbye properly to the Spanish hotty. Ari stiffened, and found himself suddenly undecided as to whether he was happy he could understand German or not.

“I wish.” The asshole laughed in his home language “She seems to have disappeared into thin air. I’m so pissed I only got to speak to her on the last day.”

“You’ve been eyeing her up since we arrived man!” one of the other guys shot back “Pity she turned you down.”

Another snorted “Yeah man, flat out no!”

Sniggers arose from the group and then one of them looked up, Ari hastily averting his gaze, but he clearly wasn’t quick enough.

“Keep it down, I’m pretty sure I’ve seen her with the owner”

Asshole shrugged “He’s American, not German, can’t understand us!”

Ari fought to keep his face straight. Dick.

“You know, you’re worse than that dog that wanders around!” the guy that had told them to shut up shook his head “You cannot keep it in your pants anywhere!” “Can’t help it. But come on, guys! You seen her?”

“Yes, yes we have. She cute.”

Asshole sighed “Pity we’re leaving, reckon I could have worn her down, got her on her back with a little more time.”

Ari felt his jaw clench, he’d heard enough. With a cough he cleared his throat and then felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned to see Rachel looking at him.

“All set.”

He nodded and turned back to the group of boys “Bus is ready if you want to climb up.”

They all turned to look at him and the one sat nearest on the edge of a lounger nodded. “Sure man.”

Ari watched them all gather their luggage and make their way back into the hotel. He nodded as they all walked past him, Asshole taking up the rear, and as he went to pass, Ari placed his arm over the doorway, hand curling round the edge of the frame, blocking his way.

“Hey…” Asshole began to protest but Ari fixed him with an icy glare.

“Next time you wanna talk about getting my girl on her back, maybe check I can’t actually understand you…and for the record, if you weren’t leaving today you’d be shark bait.” He hissed in German, before he moved his arm as Asshole swallowed, his eyes wide with shock and horror. Ari smiled and then spoke to him in English “Have a safe trip home, dick.”

The guy scurried away as fast as he could, Ari’s eyes burning a hole in his back as he left. Once he was out of sight the anger Ari was feeling gave way to guilt as he had basically accused Hannah of leading the asshole on, even though he knew that wasn’t the case. Hannah wouldn’t dream of doing something like that. Sometimes she could be a little flirty but then so could he, it was just who they were, and to accuse her the way he had done was ridiculous. But then again he had been drunk, and even when sober he was a total mess when it came to his girl, and now she was giving him the cold shoulder.

He had to fix this.

Taking a deep breath he headed inside to look for Hannah and found her in the office with Rachel. Immediately he spotted her red puffy eyes and the concern on Rachel’s face and that made him feel like complete shit.

“Rachel, can you give us a minute?” he asked softly. Rachel looked to him before she shrugged.

“Sure”

She turned and left the office, not before giving him a filthy look and once she was gone Hannah looked at him.

“What do you want Ari?” She sniffed and Ari took a deep breath

“Sweetheart, I'm sorry”

“Sorry for what exactly?” she tipped her chin up to look at him, and Ari should have known she wasn’t going to let him off with a mere, simple and overarching apology.

“Last night. I was out of order” “Talk about an understatement! You basically called me a slut.”

“No, Hannah.” Ari began to protest “That’s not what I said.”

“Not with those exact words maybe, but you implied it Ari.”

“It’s not what I meant.” He repeated his sentiment, “Look, I’m so sorry Han. I don’t know what got into me”

“You know…” Hannah shook her head “I knew you had this jealous streak in you but..”  she took a deep breath and licked her lips .”I think I need some space”

At that she made to pass him in the doorway but Ari gently grabbed her arm. “Han, wait.”

“Let me go Ari”

Ari glanced down at his hand and released her arm “Hannah.”

“I just need to be alone.” She swallowed “Please.”

At that Ari gave a small nod and stepped to the side allowing her to leave. With a groan he ran both hand through his hair before his right fist slammed down on the desk in a fit of rage.

“Fuck!” he yelled out, his voice and the thud of his hand punching the desk echoed around the room and he ran his hand down his beard. He was really worried now that he’d completely screwed everything. Today was fast shaping up to be a complete shit storm and it wasn’t even midday yet. For a second he considered heading after her but he knew he needed to respect her request for space, so instead he headed into the bar area, grabbed a bottle of bourbon, necked a shot or 3 to sort his headache out and turned on his heels and left.

****

Later that afternoon Hannah was heading to her hut when Rachel stopped her and said that she needed Ari’s passport for some paperwork which Colonel Madibo requested when he had stopped by on his Annual Visit a month or so prior. Rachel had failed to find Ari so had instead asked Hannah if she could find it in his absence.

As usual when she needed something, Rachel couldn’t wait, so Hannah shrugged and headed back to the hut to see if she could find it and decided to try his backpack first off. As she dug around her hands curled around a leather book. Curiosity piqued she removed it to see it was a note book of sorts and she flicked open the first page, finding it simply to be a log book, written mostly in code but she recognised it as being a short hand that most agents were trained in. It appeared to be accounts of the missions they’d run but as she closed it, she noticed that there were a few photos tucked into the back cover. She gently pulled them out and smiled as she saw the first one was of Ari and Maya when Maya was a toddler. Ari’s hair and beard both much shorter. The next one was a Polaroid of the team at the front of the hotel, then there was one of her and Simon which she had never seen before, but that had been taken yesterday morning from the looks of things, and then one of her, Ari and Sammy which was of her graduation. She frowned a little, unsure why Ari kept this with him considering it was from so long ago at a time when they hadn’t even been together. She turned it over, as if expecting to find the explanation there but she didn’t find anything but Ari’s haphazard scrawl in the bottom right hand corner- “Firefly’s Graduation”

A wave of nostalgia washed over her as she thought back to that day, the gift Ari had bought her, and that being the time she realised she was hopelessly in love with him. She swallowed, before tucking the photos back where she found them. After a little more digging in the backpack she found his passport and headed back to the main hotel and into the office. She held it out to Rachel who smiled, the grin immediately slipping as she caught sight of Hannah’s face.

“You ok?”

“Yeah…have you seen Ari?”

“Not since before no.”  Rachel took the passport she was holding out from Hannah “you know I’m sure he-“

“Yeah, I know.” Hannah shook her head, not wanting to talk about it anymore “Listen, Rachel, I don’t want dinner. I’m tired so I’ll grab something later if I’m hungry.”

“Ok, sure.”

She gave Rachel another smile before she made her way back out to the beach. She stood, hands on her hips as she contemplated going to find Ari to talk but before she could she heard Max yelling at her to take care of Simon who was chewing some of the equipment he and Jake were trying to store. With a groan she went to retrieve the pain-in-the-ass dog, took him back to the hut where she led on the bed and closed her eyes, completely drained.

When she woke a few hours later it was dark. The hut was completely silent apart from Simon’s soft snores and Ari was nowhere to be seen. Standing up she grabbed a warmer top as it had gone a little chilly outside and leaving Simon snoozing on her bed she wandered out onto the dimly lit beach to find him. The resort empty, not a soul to be seen, and it was completely dark apart from the light which was pooling out of the door which led to the main reception area. She made her way to the door which was open and saw Ari sat straddling the desk, legs dangling either side. They were swinging to and fro slightly, the muscles in his strong thighs straining and stretching as he did so, cigarette in his mouth as he studied the ‘Satisfied Guests’ board on the wall. With a soft sigh he led back against the desk, closing his eyes.  

“Ari?” Hannah spoke softly and he turned his head sharply towards her. He eyed her for a moment, clearly trying to size up her mood and she allowed her face to soften slightly and he gave a slight smile in response.

“Hey firefly.”

“It’s late.” She stepped into the room a little more.

“I know.”

“So what are you doing sat on the desk?”

“Just reviewing our satisfied guest number.” He shrugged “Which is gonna go up tomorrow.”

“Exactly, so you should come to bed, you never sleep the night after a mission so…”

“I was gonna take one of the spare rooms.” Ari admitted and Hannah rolled her eyes.

“Don’t be so dramatic.”

“I’m not being dramatic” he shrugged. “You said you wanted space…”

“I’ve had space all day.”

“I know I just…well, was waiting for you to decide when you’d had enough…”

Hannah took a deep breath, bit her lip and nodded to the board he’d been studying. “Look at the back.” She instructed.

“What?” he frowned at her sudden change of subject.

“I said, look at the back of the board, Ari.”

He gave her another puzzled look before he shuffled over and spun it round, his eyes roaming the 5 digits that had been carved into the back. “3. 19. 80.” He looked at her “That’s you birthday 2 years ago.”

“Yeah.” She nodded, “I wanted that date permanently carving into something other than my brain.”

“I’m not…”

“It was the first time you told me you loved me” she explained softly, and Ari felt his eyes widen “I waited so long to hear you say it.” She took a deep breath “Which is why I can’t understand why you think I’d ever look at anyone else.”

Ari sighed, turning the board back round, as he spun his body to face her, legs dangling off the edge of the desk. “I don’t, Han. I was just being a stupid, jealous prick.”

Hannah took a deep breath, looking at him. His eyes were down cast, his face pinched with regret. She exhaled and shook her head “No more ok? I can’t deal with your stupid fits of pathetic jealousy and possessiveness.”

“I know, I know. I’m sorry.” He shook his head, looking down at his hands. “I just, well, you’re not the only one who waited so long for us. Sometimes I worry that, well you’ll realise that I’m just an asshole after all and that you could do so much better.”

“I already know you’re an asshole.” She shrugged, a smile playing on her lips “But you’re my asshole. And I don’t want to do any better.”

Ari’s eyes locked onto hers and he let out a deep breath, smiling softly before he gave a jerk of his head “C’mere…”

“Ari…”

“Just get up here Firefly”

The roll of her eyes and little groan would have maybe fooled anyone else into thinking she was frustrated, but not Ari. He caught the smile on her face as she walked over towards him and hopped up onto the counter. With a grin, Ari looped both his arms around her waist and clumsily pulled her with him as he fell back, both of them laying chest to chest, his arms round her holding her close. She gave a low chuckle, shaking her head.

“Dumbass.”

“Yeah.” He agreed, reaching up and tucking her hair behind her ears with both his hands. He then cupped her face gently, before he leaned up and gave her a soft kiss.

“I love you.”  He said gently “And I really am sorry.”

“I know.”

“You know that I love you or you know that I’m sorry?”

She hesitated for a second before she smirked and arched an eyebrow “Both”

Ari chuckled and Hannah grinned and lay against Ari’s chest, snuggling into his t-shirt, the top of her head up under his chin. Neither of them said anything for a little while, just lay there basking in one another’s warmth, the argument forgotten until eventually Hannah felt her eyes growing heavy.

“Ari.”

“Yeah”

“Seriously, we need to go to bed.”

“Yeah…” he hummed back, his hands stroking up her neck.

“I mean it.”

“Mmhmmm.”

“Ari!” she said exasperatedly and he gave a low groan.

“Okay, okay…”

With what felt like a Herculean effort Hannah pushed herself up and hopped down from the counter, Ari doing the same, his boot clad feet echoing around the empty room as the soles slapped on the tiles. He stretched his arms, causing his t-shirt to ride up a little at the bottom as he ran both hands through his hair. Silently, he held out his hand and Hannah slipped hers into it, and together they headed out of the door pausing only to turn off the lights and make sure the main doors were locked.

**** The next morning was hectic, for two main reasons. A new batch of guests had arrived and in between that they were doing the preps for the mission later that evening. Rachel and Hannah were busy with the guests whilst Max, Jake and Ari were busy with the equipment. Radios needed to be tested, the trucks needed to be checked over to ensure there would be no mechanical issues and Sammy was busy making sure the medical supplies were stocked and packed.

Once that was gone, Ari took himself off for a run, in an attempt to burn off some of the usual nervous energy he had the day of a mission. He was out for a good hour, and as he rounded the edge of the cove onto the last few hundred yard stretch of beach up to the resort he spotted a few new guests were sat out in the sun reading and chatting. He nodded to them as he rounded up the small path off the main shore line, coming to an abrupt halt as Simon ran up to him from goodness knows where, almost tripping him over.

“Hey bud…” Ari panted a little, removing his headphones and clicking off his walkman “Where’s mom?”

“Here.”

Ari spun round to see Hannah stood there in a pair of shorts and a white tank top, the strings of her bikini visible round her neck, her hair damp.

“Hey sweetheart.” He smiled, and she took a moment to look him up and down, noticing the sweat dripping from his forehead and his damp t-shirt that was sticking to his torso. “Pervert.”

She shrugged and grinned before she spoke again, her cover accent thick on her tongue. “Good run?”

He nodded as he continued his deep breathing looking round “Not as much fun as this morning’s exercise though.” He flashed her a cheeky wink as she chuckled and took the soft kiss he offered. “How’ bout you? Good dive?”

She nodded “Still waiting for that elusive Hammer-Head sighting. You know, I’m beginning to think Irvine made it up.”

With a chuckle Ari gently looped an arm round her, pulling her to him as they headed into the main room of the resort, Hannah shoving against him, protesting at the fact he was basically wiping his sweat all over her but their teasing and joking died down as Rachel immediately accosted them, her German accent flawless as always.

“There you are. I was just talking about you with our new guests.”

Ari looked up to see 3 people in chairs in the reception area, and as the man in front of him stood and turned he saw it was Walton Bowen, the guy from the CIA that he had last seen in Khartoum Airport.

“Mr. Thomas, nice to see you again.”

“Now this is a surprise.” Ari smiled, shaking the hand Bowen offered before his hands dropped to his hips, his breathing still recovering from his run.

“Well, I'm sure it is. You're not an easy man to find. I think I saw you nearly two years ago. You were an anthropologist back then.” Bowen eyed Ari shrewdly taking a drag from his baby cigar.

“Right, well...” Ari smiled again, “Didn't pay the bills.” He offered as means of an explanation for the huge change in career direction.

“Yeah…” Bowen looked at him again, his eyes then flicking to Hannah.

“Sorry, where are my manners.” Ari apologised, “Rosa, this is Mr Walton Bowen. Works for the US Embassy?” he made it a question, even though he knew full well all about Bowen’s actual background having been debriefed back in ‘79 following his arrest.

“Of a fashion” Mr Bowen smiled. “Cultural attaché”

“Right.” Ari nodded “Well, Mr Bowen, this is Rosa Garcia, my partner and head of guest relations.”

“It’s a pleasure.” Hannah smiled, shaking Bowen’s hand.  

“Likewise.” Bowen smiled, releasing her hand.

“And you’ve already met my general manager, Angela.” Ari concluded and both Bowen and Rachel nodded in agreement before she spoke.

“I was just about to give Aziz the dinner order, will you be staying?

Bowen shook his head “That’s very kind but, no thank you. We’ll need to get back.”

“Ok, well in that case can I grab you anything for now?” she asked.

“I could go for something.” Ari looked at her, knowing full well the mission meant he would miss dinner and they usually ate a little earlier. Rachel understood perfectly and gave him a nod, turning to go.

“I’ll help.” Hannah turned to Ari who nodded and dropped a kiss to her temple before she hurried out after Rachel. He turned back to Bowen who was simply looking at him, his eyebrow raised a little.

“She a guest who never left or…”

“It’s a long story.” Ari smiled.

“I’m sure it is Mr Thomas.”

Ari nodded and then gestured towards the dining room, indicating one of the tables. “Shall we?”

Bowen turned to the two people who were with him and with a jerk of his head they moved outside. Ari watched them go before he nodded and the two men made their way over and settled at the large table the team usually ate round. Ari grabbed them both a bottle of water from the fridge at the far side of the room and settled in a chair, his elbow leaning on the back of it, as relaxed as he could make himself. They made small talk until Hannah and Rachel, or Rosa and Angela even, having had Aziz fix some crudités and hummus brought them out and dropped them onto the table before they too moved outside to take some to the two other unannounced guests. As Ari watched Hannah then walked back past them into the kitchen, and he returned his attention to Bowen, trying to appear interested, all the time simply waiting to find out what the man had actually turned up for. “Well... the hawks are demanding stricter Sharia law. Nimeiry is increasingly paranoid.” Bowen spoke, dipping a carrot into the hummus. “If you ask me, this entire country is a fucking tinder box.”

“Really? We don't really feel that out here.”

“No?”

“No.”

At that they both looked up as Hannah walked back into the room with a jug of iced tea and placed it in the middle of the table.

“Thanks honey.” Ari smiled at her as he reached for it “You wanna join us?” He paused and glanced at Bowen who gestured with his hand to say he didn’t mind so he poured 3 glasses and Hannah sat down at the seat next to him. Ari sat back in his chair, his arm casually draping over the high back of hers, her hand dropping to his thigh, fingers curling around the curve of the muscle, gently squeezing. He was tense, she could feel it. She softly rubbed his skin and his hand moved slightly in response, the pads of his fingers began tracing random shapes on the top of her arm.

“State's sent cargo planes for us, ready to evac in the event things take a turn for the worse. Oh. -And this refugee crisis, it's... it's really not helping.” Bowen shook his head as he looked at Ari, then Hanna, who met him with a blank look.

“Refugee crisis?” Hannah frowned.

“Yeah, you have entire refugee neighbourhoods just disappearing.” Bowen gestured with his hands “Into thin air.” “And that’s bad?” Hannah’s voice was puzzled. “Refugees are normally viewed as a burden, I’m not following.”

Clever girl… Ari looked down at the table, scratching his head

“The UN offers a stipend to the Sudanese for every refugee they house, so when people start to disappear that's just...  bad for business.” Bowen finished matter of factly.

At his blasé tone, Hannah felt herself growing a little angry at the way he was talking about real life people. Her people more specifically, as if they were nothing but commodities to be traded.

“Well…” Ari cut in, “The only crisis we face is whether or not we catch fresh lobster.” The three of them laughed as Ari shook his head. “Just kidding.”

“Well, I just got back from Gedaref, where the Mukhabarat had executed another 30 people.” Walton Bowen deadpanned and instantly the mood around the table changed. Cold washed over Hannah and besides her Ari shifted ever so slightly in his seat, the smile slipping from his face. “This is quite serious.2

Ari inhaled deeply and raised his eyebrows, he was done. They had a mission to prep for, and now more than ever he had to make sure that it was a success especially as his prediction seemed to be coming true- the net was closing in on them now and who knows how long they had. “I'd like to stay and chat, but I gotta get back to work.” He spoke, looking at Bowen.

“Yes, we have dinner to do and some night diving to prepare.” Hannah added.

“Sure. Okay.” Bowen nodded as the two of them stood up “Enjoy the...” he waved at the food on the table with his other hand as they both walked towards the exit, but Walton said something else that stopped them both in their tracks.

“Kabede Bimro, right?”

Ari glanced at Hannah, the pair of them hastily covering their shock with what they hoped looked like a confused glance and Ari shot a look at Bowen “Excuse me?”

“Hmm? Oh I just think it's such a funny name. Kabede.” The man shrugged.

“Yeah…” Ari made a face as if he found the whole thing baffling, before he turned back, his hand dropping to Hannah’s back but before they could move Bowen spoke again.

“And what about Ethan Navon…”

Hannah gave a little start. It was slight, an almost imperceptible slip, but a slip none the less. She swallowed, recovering, and turned to look at Ari, frowning.

“Guy, do you know what he’s talking about?” she asked.

Ari shook his head “Not a clue Firefly” he used her nickname in the hope it would calm her, and also to play the whole situation as naturally as he could. He looked at Bowen “I really have no idea who these people you’re talking about are, should I?”

“You tell me”

“I wish I could.” Ari gave a chuckle, shaking his head again, and giving Bowen a look that he hoped made the man believe that Ari thought he was crazy.

“You know, Mr Bowen…” Hannah spoke again “It’s getting late and it can get dark out there pretty quickly. If you’d like a room for the night we can fix it.”

“Not necessary, but I wouldn’t mind a look round.” Bowen shrugged “Maybe I’ll come stay sometime in the future, that is if I’m still in the Country, of course.”

“Go ahead” Ari nodded “Just shout if you need us.”

At that the pair of them made their way as calmly as possible from the dining room and into the kitchen, where the rest of the team was congregated. “What's the CIA doing here?” Sammy asked, “What did he want?”

“I don't know.” Ari ran his hand over his beard.

“He mentioned Dad, Sammy. Hannah looked at him.”

“I heard” Sammy nodded.

“I think he was trying to warn us.” Hannah shrugged.

“Fuck! He knows about Kabede.” Jake slapped his palm on the side behind him and Ari stood up tall, looking through the doorway at Bowen before he turned back.

“We gotta go.”

“No, this is just so fucking stupid.” Sammy shook his head “Tell Kabede it's too dangerous. We'll pick it up in two weeks when we have a chance to assess the threat.”

“We have 200 people—“ Ari began to protest but he was cut off by Sammy

“Yeah, and we'll have 200 people less if we fuck it up.” He hissed.

“For fuck's sake, Sammy, will you just trust me for once?”

“Well, if we're doing this, we need to leave now.” Hannah spoke, looking around “So what's it gonna be?”

Max, who hadn’t spoken a word since Ari and Hannah had joined them, swallowed the sandwich he had been eating and wiped his hands on his shorts “We go.”

“That simple?” Sammy looked at him and Max turned to Sammy, fixing him with a stare.

“Yeah, that simple.”

[mevekagvain]

Chapter 54- Once again, Marie's clothes are atrocious.

Chapter 55 - 'The wounds are healing like a normal person's would'. Uh no?? For a normal person you'd need to treat and stitch up that shit, not leave them wide open as you poke at them.

Chapter 58 - Honestly you don't get to say that others take away lives so easily when you and everyone under you is also murder happy Rai. Like yeah there's nuance but it's still not as clear cut as you'd think.

Chapter 65 - It's hilarious how both Rai and Frankenstein suck at all sorts of games. Maybe that's the real reason they're bffs.

- Yuna,,, cutie,,,

- You did your best M-24. It wasn't very good because you should have been distracting the infected not Jake, but you did your best.

- Never understood the whole being in pain thing from being flicked in the forehead like, how hard are they doing it?? I've been foing it to my sister my whole life and vice versa and neither of us have ever been in any pain.

Chapter 66 - They're posing while blocking the way of the kids sjksksks. Also you can obviously see that M-21 is turned away because he doesn't want to do this on a deeper note. Not that it matters because they're posing.

- Marie is so smart I love her.

Chapter 76 - The kids are honestly so sweet.

- I do not like that Jake is taller than Rai. He himself is already too tall, and Jake's supposed to be taller??

Chapter 77 - They really had to get Marie's boobs into her death silhouette huh... ew.

Chapter 78 - Wow even Cloud wasn't strong enough to handle the experimentation. The Union is real hardcore.

Chapter 79 - Tbh calling Marie and Jake the best of the best still makes sense even with all the stronger opponents considering that said stronger opponents are all in higher positions than them. Exception would be Cerberus who I'd say are more at an equal position and that's easily excused by saying they have more experience. Plus it was said by M-21 who knows jack shit and only got info from loudmouth Jake so obviously none of it is going to be accurate anyway.

Chapter 81 - Cutie 🥺

Chapter 82 - Huh, so vampires are category B in the Union for experimentation records. I'd say nobles but that's doubtful since they've only been able to replicate mind control and mutation through drinking blood. The latter only occurs in vampires since their blood bonds are corrupted.

Chapter 85 - This just reads like a creepypasta or scp lmao.

Chapter 87 - Rip Simon, I always liked him.

Chapter 88 - If Rai heard how much I mocked him he'd be shocked. Ofc he wouldn't hurt me since I haven't committed crimes but I bet he'd be hurt inside.

Chapter 89 - Even Crombel appears to think vampires and nobles are one and the same which is interesting. Maybe that means vampires, even though severely mutated through weakened blood bonds, have the same basic dna make up as nobles? Or I suppose they could have managed to get nobles to experiment on. Wouldn't be too hard to snatch a dead one from the Loyard massacre.

Chapter 90 - It wouldn't be strange if Raizel was under the impression that M-21 was actually a werewolf who was experimented on and this had his power trapped within him initially. After all, he has a werewolf heart and likely an aura somewhat similar to one in Raizel's eyes. Thus he could have easily thought that since he would never have met an actual werewolf who had been prevented from using their power and wouldn't know what their aura would be like. So human aura with faint werewolf traces? Must be a werewolf. It would be disproven quickly enough for the audience not to notice either too since Frankenstein does a checkup on him.

Chapter 91 - Raizel and Frankenstein going 'tf are you talking about' @ M-21,,, that's me at noblesse characters always.

- Idk where Frankenstein gets so much trust in Raizel's choices. The last group of people he hung out with was the traitors and as the name suggests, that didn't go well. But then again... the whole thing happened precisely because he didn't trust them enough to be their friends so I guess he's kinda right? In that if he doesn't trust ppl they'll definitely betray him compared to if he does trust them where even if he gets betrayed he'll know it's not his fault. Anyway that's irrelevant and the point is that Frankenstein has no reason to be so confident when Raizel's previous stray pets were the traitor nobles.

Chapter 92 - I guess Shinwoo doesn't like bananas if he keeps pawning his off to Rai.

- 5 hours to get to a place he's been before and should know the way to... Yeah no wonder mvp lord was always so fucking worried about him.

- Queen I know you think he's hot but you're gonna get brain damage. Also looking at the girl on the right there are definitely other foreigners in Ye Ran.

- By my hcs this would be said by Urokai because think most human experimentation in the Union is stupid. Like experimentation to cure idk, cancer? Good. This shit? He hates it.

Sidenotes - Tbh I've never really had the same complaints about the kids not being the main characters along with Rai and Frankenstein the way other people do. Like sure it would have been cool and I would have loved Shinwoo to be Union or werewolf related somehow but I always just found it hilarious how all expectations were subverted and it turned out they really just some normal kids TM. And it make sense! Sure they're special, for completely normal teenagers. Just let them chill and be teens instead of getting the trauma the rest of the household carries around like designer handbags. I say that but Shinwoo being Urokai's son is my canon lmao

- Good thing that the abandoned building didn't have automatic or rotating doors or else the kids would be super dead.

[partnersatfazbear]

Analysis of The Real Jake (SPOILERS)

I can't decide whether to make this post a stream-of-consciousness style or group it into evidence for x... but since it's easier, I'll just write my thoughts as I go. Although a lot of this is factual ties to, say, FNAF 4, things like relating Margie to Henry are just my own headcanon and you can do with that what you will AKA don't take this all too seriously, but have fun with it. There’s also specific notes about Michael Afton, for those that just want to know what was said regarding him (presumably).

Before I start, please note I've had three hours of sleep in the last... 28 hours? IDK I can't math, especially not on this little sleep. So, there may be errors. I tried to make a note on things I was unsure about, too. 

Note: I wrote this before the Evan=CC theory was all but confirmed. Although I believe this theory from the logbook, I think a lot of these notes are still valid.

Read my notes under the cut:

Margie shares similar physical appearance to Henry: Pg 84 “The window fan blew a lock of her shoulder-length brown hair across her upper lip so it looked like she had a mustache.”

“Mrs. Afton” stand in is mentioned: Pg 86 “...it had been four years since his Mom had died...” (Jake is 9 in the story)

I notice when Scott mentions plaid. Pg 87 “...a green-and-blue plaid plush chair...” I mostly wanted to note this since canonically, Henry had a green plaid shirt.

“William” stand in is mentioned. Pg 89 “And you know he thinks about you [Jake] all the time?” “So, he has to concentrate on what he's doing... ...I don't want him thinking about me and end up shooting himself in the foot or something.” Pg 102 “Yeah, I did. [I spilled some chocolate ice cream] Right on my shirt!” Pg 122 “I did that today! [While playing a DDR like game, breaking a shoelace.]” (Admittedly, I only counted these because I headcanon William is much more of a bumbling fool than he appears. It comes up very often as you can see... although you could write it off as Evan just trying to relate to his kid.)

“William” stand in is mentioned. Pg 92 “...Margie was pretty sure Evan couldn't afford to replace a washer and dryer” and “...Evan, at his rank, could barely afford her” Pg 110 “Gillian's house shared stlying with Evan's, but hers was probably four times bigger.” (Again, I headcanon William and his family is on the low end of middle class, if not lower, in terms of income. Particularly, the house is cramped.)

“Mrs. Afton” stand in is mentioned. Pg 93 “First, Jake's Mom was killed.” Pg 139 “The mom's dead.” (You could infer that she died via something akin to a car crash in the context of the story, however if you reflect it to the games given the commonalities, I like to think of this as confirmation that William murdered her, given the word 'killed' is used.)

Margie records herself on her cell phone. Pg 93 (and on other pages) (Again referencing my headcanon for Henry, in which he records ideas/diaries often. At minimum, Henry is referred to as “Cassette Man” in PizzaSim so... I just thought it could make for an interesting comparison.)

Jake mentions his “friends”. Pg 99 “Patty and Davey... Vic... and the twins... Ellie and Evie... Kyle, Clay, and Garrett” (Also, he isn't mentioned until later, but there's his best friend Brandon, too. I noted these in reference to CC talking about his 'friends', either IRL or the plushies. I assume his IRL friends are the MCI victims. The number doesn't add up though. I really, really wanted to make a connection about the twins, considering Charlie and Sammy are twins, but there wasn't enough evidence to write it off as anything other than a coincidence. Also... Clay, really? We need another double name in this series? Ugh.)

What's your favorite flavor? Chocolate Pg. 102 “What flavor did you get?” “Chocolate. Duh.” (This is a stretch, but it did remind me of Help Wanted's final level in the main game, where you're asked to choose your favorite cake flavor. Although, they're discussing ice cream here.)

Maybe some insight into William's personality? Pg. 103 “You ever do that, Evan?” “What?” “Let off steam.” “Me? No. Steam is pretty much what keeps me going.” (Just more evidence that William is obsessed with his work. You could imply “steam” implies he runs like a machine, but that's stretching a bit.)

Pg. 113 -118 (Jake climbs out of his window to run off to play at the arcade with his friend. Obvious parallel to the child in Midnight Motorist, although it's daytime and no animatronics/fursuits luring him.) There is this, on Pg 121 also. Jake says, “We played all the racing games. I love racing games.”

PURPLE Pg 121 “...did you get a slushie at the arcade? I got one. I got grape. It turned my tongue purple.” “My tongue's purple, too!” “Purple power!” (Uh, do I really need to explain this? I should note that Evan is the one mentioning “grape”. I guess William likes grape flavor and purple.)

'Michael' is mentioned. Sort of a stand in for Michael Afton, but it should be noted that Michael and Evan are brothers in this universe. Pg 126, 127 “Michael...lived in Europe for a few years...” “Michael's a serious dude. He's, well, a little different. He's intense about making money...the way he is about it... can make him seem like he's not human.” “So, he's like a cyborg with bad programming?” Michael has some dialogue: “You must excersize caution. You could get chocolate on my suit, and that would be bad. Very, very bad.” (The very very bad thing is a running joke in the family, which is why this comes up. I don't have a lot to say about it, though. I think Michael [Afton] being obsessed with money seems a bit counter intuitive to how we know him, but who knows? I also want to note that Evan doesn't seem antagonistic towards Michael; in fact, he “hate[s] to ask him for favors”.)

Also, Pg 141 “His [Michael's] flat, gruff voice was unmistakable.” Michael is also the first one to hear his father is dead and informs Margie about it. “I have been notified that Evan's dead.” Pg 142 “She had only met Michael the one time, and she knew the way he processed the world was very different from what was “normal”” Michael also states to Margie: “I've got Evan's will... you're Jake's guardian and he left you the house and some savings. I'm the executor.” Margie also says: “He[Michael]'s a numbers genius, manages money for the wealthy people and has made a killing doing it.” “He's not a bad guy. He just doesn't know how to connect. He doesn't feel the way we do.” (Just more Michael characterization.)

Direct FNAF 4 easter egg references: Pg 128 “...the IV stand lurking in the corner of the room” Pg 129 “...and the line of perscription medication bottles marching across the top of the chest of drawers”

Margie is more than a nanny and possibly in love with Evan: Pg. 139 “She'd come to love Evan, too... like a brother.” Pg 140 “...she was included in the outings, movie nights, game nights, and storytelling time...” Pg 149 “...she wanted Evan to be more than just a boss, and being in his room when he was gone made her feel like a lovelorn stalker.” “Love him like a brother... She snorted. Boy, had she been lying to herself.” Pg 158 “What she was feeling called for a screaming fit or a total mental breakdown.” (Yeah, this is just me reading too much into this for Willry content, haha... But still. I am determined that Margie is a Henry stand-in.)

'I will put you back together' Pg 140 “I'm trying to bring you home whole.” (Evan is discussing “no man left behind” with his son, Jake. I think this is obvious.)

William's home office? Pg. 149 “When he was home, she'd go in and vacuum or put away laundry... ...when he was gone...coming in here felt like an invasion of privacy.” “Evan's room would be her room.” “...I'd feel like I was sleeping in your bed, she thought.” “...the room felt discretely masculine.” “The walls were covered in family photos.” “The shelves were stuffed with fiction... mysteries to classics, nonfiction... how-to books...from rebuilding a car engine to planting a garden.”

FNAF 4 reference. Pg 152 “Outside, a dog barked.” (You can hear a dog barking as ambient noise during nights when playing FNAF 4.)

Other notes:

It happens a lot, but one of the main things in the book is the doll Simon and how Jake talks to it. This is very blatantly a reference to the Golden Freddy Plush (“Psychic Friend Fredbear”). The story confirms it's Jake's father, Evan, talking through it. Although it makes the one scene in FNAF 4 a little wonky (the only scene where we see Purple Guy), I think it's pretty much confirmed that it's William talking to CC now. Obviously, we already suspected this due to Sister Location's “Secret Room”. In this story, Evan says he did it because he wanted to give Jake some hope he would live. Combined with both the IV/medicine bottle easter eggs (in the story and FNAF 4) I think it's plausible to assume that CC was taken home after the Bite of '83 for a period of time before he passed away. I will admit, also, that Evan definetly comes off as a very caring father (in comparison to how we presume William is based on what we've seen of him as a person; although I argued this before on this blog, I don't think William hates his kids. I think he's neglectful, moreso as the story goes on. I think he resents Michael for many reasons but I won't go into that here. I just don't think he's the abusive monster the fanbase interprets him to be—at least not early on.)

The cabinet reminds me a lot of the closets in the novel series. A built in shelf with a doll in it. A doll that represents a child. Considering Margie tends to this doll (see Pg. 130-135), I have to draw more parallels between her and Henry.

The fan is mentioned A LOT. I don't really know why, but I guess we can't help but think of every single FNAF office when it's brought up. Specifically, on Pg. 106, Margie mentions the fan in her room is as loud as a jet engine and the sound made her nervous. Once again, I'm reminded of PizzaSim. Seriously, screw you fan.

The heat is mentioned a lot, too. I know the story takes place in summer, but this did remind me of Pizza Sim.

Pg. 93 “Margie sat down in the faded blue webbed lawn chair that was set up, for reasons she never understood, in front of the shelves by the stairs.” (I noted this because it's specifically called out and I don't know why.)

Margie talks about why she's working for Evan: Pg. 95 “I didn't get the internship I applied for.” I like to think her and Mia (from 1280) were after the same internship. (I may be misremembering, but I'm pretty sure Mia mentioned an internship at the hospital.)

Jake is mentioned to have brown hair, green eyes. His favorite color is green. He also wears green often. I couldn't find anything really interesting about it. It would make more sense as a Puppet reference, tbh (because of the green bracelet (and eyes? I may be remembering wrong) I guess it's also worth noting that Elizabeth has green eyes.

Pg 135 “Are you afraid people will think you're murdering me?” “...I could end you so quickly you'd never make a sound.” (Just an odd conversation between Jake and Margie. Margie is joking here, obviously.) Also, Pg. 136 “I just figured your [Jake's] wires got crossed or your circuits were frying.” (Admittedly, I don't know what to make of this. Could be a reference to Robot-CC, if you believe that or MikeBot [I don't], but more likely just ironic dialogue. It could also reference Jake's future in the Stichwraith?)

Pg 139 “Sometimes, Margie wished she was like one of the robots Jake liked so much.” (Although I can't really compare this to Henry, I did write William with this mindset and thought it was worth mentioning.)

Pg 141+ So, Evan dies overseas (he's a soldier). (I think this could be hinting that William has been springlocked around the time CC passes away. Jake has been home for some time after his diagnosis so we can infer based on that and the easter eggs that CC was brought home to die in peace. At the very least, William's probably very absent during this time. Possibly brought in for questioning but not arrested. I don't know. I feel like there's something to this.)

Pg 154 “Dave's at work.” (Why? Can we not use established names? Aghhh)

Pg 155 “The ambulance arrived at 11:32.” (I don't know why this is stated so outright. I couldn't find a reason, except that a few paragraphs earlier they say it will arrive by noon. I don't know why it's so specific, but I felt like noting it anyway.)

Pg 159 “Five people. Five sets of eyes. And none of them noticed...” (Yeah. We all know how important 5 is in FNAF.)

Three medical personel are mentioned. One at the end is named Nancy [No Last Name Given], but I like to think its a reference to Man in 1280 and we're dealing with Heracles Hospital once more, although it's never said in this story. Speaking of, the only thing that really stood out to me in 1280's story was that a billionare funded the restoration of the hospital. I like to headcanon that was Henry's doing—I imagine him obscessing over overcompensating for his mistakes by giving back in every way possible, even if it isn't directly related to him.

So, this post only took two hours of my life. I hope someone gets some use out of it, be it for my intended Willry purposes or maybe those Michael fans that are curious about it. If you enjoyed this post, let me know. I'd love to write up more of these if I have the time.

I have other write-ups on this blog, too. Just search fnaf theories on my blog page!

[wiypt-writes]

Leave No One Behind

Ch 12- Win Some, Lose Some Part 2

Co written with @icanfeelastormbrewing​

Summary: After 2 years of being at the resort Ari and the other agents are gearing up for yet another mission, but there’s a little bit of trouble in paradise for him and Hannah…

Warnings: Bad Language words. Smut (NSFW, 18+ only)

Pairings: Ari Levinson x OFC Hannah Horowitz

Leave No One Behind Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Part 1

Ari woke the next morning and instantly realised something was missing. Simon’s ass from his face. With a stretch he cracked his neck slightly and opened one eye to find that Hannah was also gone. With a little yawn he sat up, rubbing his eyes before he swung his legs off the side of the bed and stood up, heading to the small bathroom. Once finished, he located a pair of swim shorts form the chest of drawers at the side of the hut and pulling them on he made his way outside.

Hannah wasn’t far away. In fact, she was stood straight in front of the hut at the water’s edge as Simon stood by her side, the pair of them simply looking out over the ocean which was alive with the rich, warm pinks and oranges of the rising sun. She was dressed in Ari’s shirt from the night before, her hair in a tangle of curls as it fell down her back, and there was something so raw and intimate about the moment it made Ari’s breath catch. Slipping back into the hut he located Hannah’s polaroid camera and quickly made his way back outside. He took a quick snap, and returned back inside, placing it back down along with the photo to develop before he strode back out of the door and down to the water’s edge.

Of course Simon heard him coming and turned, eliciting a little bark as he trotted towards him. He leaned down to give his dog an ear scratch before he smiled at Hannah who had turned her head over her shoulder to face him. She responded with a smile of her own, looking back at the ocean as he wrapped his arms around her from behind dropping a gentle kiss to her neck.

“You’re up early.” He said as her hands gently came to rest on his strong arms as they pulled her back into him, the fabric of the shirt she was wearing brushing against his bare chest.

“Couldn’t sleep.” She shrugged.

Ari’s nose nuzzled against the skin below her ear and he pressed another soft kiss to her jaw line “You still feeling a little down?”

Hannah took a deep breath and shrugged as her nails raked over his arms.

“You know, if it’s too much…you could go back.” He suggested and felt her still.

“As in, for good?”

“Yeah.” Ari shrugged, “Like I said, I don’t think we have an awful lot of time left…”

“I’m not quitting” Hannah said simply, turning in his arms. “I came to do a job, and I’m gonna see it through.”

“I knew you’d say that” he chuckled and Hannah watched her hands as they smoothed up over his pecs to his shoulders before she met his eyes.

“Why ask me then?” she arched an eyebrow as she looked at him, his hands flexing on her hips.

“Because I love you and I don’t wanna see you sad or unhappy because of me ever again.”

“This isn’t because of you.” Hannah shook her head “You egotistical ass.”

“Harsh!” Ari cocked an eyebrow as she grinned as he huffed out a laugh, “But I mean it Han. I don’t want you feeling like you have to stay.”

“I don’t” she shrugged “Honestly, don’t worry about me. It’ll pass Ari, I promise.”

She pressed her lips to his in a soft kiss before she glanced over to their left and nodded as two people passed them on the beach. “Guests are stirring, I should go shower and get ready for breakfast.”

“Ok.” He nodded and she looked up at him, biting her lip.

“Wanna come scrub my back?”

“You know…” Ari’s hands locked at the base of her back “The amount of times you ask me to do that, you should really invest in a loofah.”

“Yeah but, where’s the fun in that?” she grinned “Besides, why have a wolf and howl yourself?”

Ari gave a snort as she grinned again, stepping out of his hold, slipping her hand into his before she tugged him along with her over the sand towards their hut, Simon trotting behind them. 

****

One of the best traditions the team had come up with since they had started running a now not-so-fake hotel was the party they always held the night before a group of tourists were due to leave. It was the perfect excuse to let loose and celebrate together with another group of satisfied guests, albeit not the ones that were counted on the board. There was always a great bonfire, drinks and good music all accompanied by lots of laughter and wishes of a safe trip back home. 

That night to be no exception to the rule and as Ari and Max were putting the final touch to the makeshift dance floor and checking the sound system, which had been upgraded since the first time they threw that kind of farewell party, Jake and Hannah were in charge of starting the bonfire under the watchful eye of Sammy. Rachel was looking after them all and ensuring they had a steady supply of beer before she settled down on Sammy’s lap. Simon stood a little away from the group, minding his own business which was chasing and trying to bite his own tail.

They were all discussing the choice of music for the night, as Ethan had sent them some new records with the latest shipment, and Max picked one out to check the sound system was up and running. As the upbeat sounds of Rio by Duran Duran rang across the beach the conversation had taken a rather odd turn, shifting to the discussion about who was the best front man- Simon Le Bon vs John Taylor.

"I used to have hair like John Taylor..." Jake piped up, taking a swig of his beer.

"So did Sammy." Hannah snorted, the look on her brother's face made her burst out with laughter as besides her Ari chuckled, his arm draped over her shoulders.

Sammy groaned. "Yeah, laugh all you want but we don't need to discuss that."

"And the stash?" she pressed, making Jake laugh out loud and Rachel chuckle. “Can we discuss that?”

Sammy glared at Jake and then at his sister. "Shut up, Han."

But, despite Sammy's deadly stares, Hannah continued her tirade. "You should have seen him. It was pretty...”

"Cool?" Jake cut her off.

"Disturbing." she blurted out with a grin.

"You two can kiss my ass." Sammy snapped at them, the pair of them dying with laughter by then, before he patted Rachel's hip and stood up to go and get changed.

A few hours later the party was in full swing, and the alcohol was flowing. Hannah who was visibly drunk by then had disappeared for some time and had returned with her polaroid and was busy annoying the boys with it. 

“Pose for me guys…you’re so pretty.” She grinned, before she looked at her brother “Well, apart from you Sammy."

"Fucking fuck you Han." Sammy protested as he staggered, almost falling over.

Rachel started howling just as Ari chuckled and hiccuped. "You can’t, don’t talk to her like that man." he said, shoving Sammy a little, spilling some of his beer in the process. "Oops." he hiccuped again.

"She’s a dick." Sammy snarled.

"Yeah but man…just no." Ari managed to say, his tongue feeling thick and not quite cooperating.

"Lobo stop mooooving. I’m tryina take a photo." Hannah whined, looking at them. "Sammy can you just... like not be here. In the picture I mean." she said as she shifted her weight on the sand trying to not lose balance.

"Red if you make us stand here any longer my clothes are gonna go outta fashion." Jake complained as he let his head fall, his arms over Max and Ari's shoulders.

"Your clothes were outta fashion when my papa was alive, Jake." Hannah quipped, fast as lighting

"Bitch!" Jake groaned.

“Hey, don’t call my girl names, asshole." Ari teased, yanking Jake's arm off his shoulder and turning to shove him which ended in both men faking a heated fight on the sand. "For fuck sake Hannah." Sammy yelled, stepping away from Jake and Ari's mock fight. "Take the camera back inside. You’re drunk."

"So are you." she said, sticking her tongue out at her brother.

"Yeah but I ain’t holding a camera, it’ll end up full of sand or broken."

She paused and looked at him as his words sunk in, and then she shrugged “Yes Dad” and started walking towards her and Ari's hut, stumbling on the sand, drunk as she was. Only she stumbled a little more heavy than she was anticipating and unable to steady herself she was fully expecting to face plant into the sand, until a hand gently grabbed her arm to stop her from falling.  

"Thanks." she whispered honestly as she looked up to see one of the younger guests from the group that had been diving with Jake the day before smiling at her.

“You’re welcome.” He spoke, but not loosening his grip, instead he kept his gaze locked on her, grin spreading across his face.

Max, who had been watching the guy with curiosity, nudged Ari and nodded his head towards the scene.

"What the fuck is that bastard doing?" Ari yelled, a big frown on his sweaty forehead as he released Jake from the headlock he’d had him in.

"Touching up Cracker...I think..." Max shrugged.

"Quit stirring Max " Jake spoke, brushing the sand off his shirt. "She tripped and he stopped her falling bud, that's it."

Ari groaned and took a sip from his beer, eyes still watching. Eventually he saw Hannah step back and laugh before heading up towards their hut. But he didn't miss the way the dark haired man’s eyes followed her, or the way his pals all nudged him and gestured in Hannah’s direction, all of them grinning.

"I’m watching you, you German bastard." Ari mumbled but loud enough for Sammy to hear.

"I told you. It’s always Germans." Sammy said before hiccuping.

"Fuck off. My parents are German." Rachel shoved Sammy.

"Yeah Sammy, the in laws won’t like you talking like that." Max scoffed and Ari snorted as Sammy's eyes opened wide with realisation.

"Sorry babe." Sammy apologized and then glared at Ari. Having heard his snort "Yeah, like my mother likes you, asshole."

“You know your mother loves me, jerk. So much so I went round for dinner last time I was home and she made meatloaf."

"What? Why did you…" Sammy stuttered and Ari grinned at him. "Fuck…"

"No, that’s Ethan’s job." Ari quipped, making everyone but Sammy burst out with laughter.

"You’re sick, you know that? That’s disgusting." Sammy glared at him.

"Everything is disgusting according to you." Jake stated, with a shrug.

"To be fair the thought of my mom banging my boss...." Max said, shuddering at the thought.

"Shut up Irving!" 

"He’s very charming with all those elegant outfits." Rachel conceded.

"Yeah well he can go and charm someone else." Sammy glared at her.

"Don’t you mean some-mum else?" Jake snorted, making Sammy groan as they all sniggered. 

"But Rachel has a point. None of you have seen his silk robe." Ari spoke and Max was fast in following suit. "Mama N has."  He grinned at Ari who grimaced, readying himself for Sammy's final outburst.

"Will you all shut the fuck up?" he growled.

"Ok, ok sorry Sammy." Ari tried to calm him down as he shook his head

"What’s up? Are you angry again Sammy bear?" Hannah, who had just come back, asked noticing her brother's angry face. And she felt Ari's arm curl possessively round her waist, pulling her to him as he chuckled at Sammy's roll of eyes at her sister's pet name for him.

"Sammy doesn’t like Ethan banging your mother, Red." Jake explained, crooking a smile at Sammy.

Hannah wrinkled her nose at the mention of Ethan being her mother's partner. "Well... whatever" she started and then shrugged "Come on guys, let’s dance. I wanna dance." she suddenly changed topic as she grabbed Rachel's hand pulling her towards the “dance floor”.

"Bye then." Max raised his beer to the retreating girls.

"Yeah I’m gonna go dance too." Jake announced, and Ari saw his eyes flicker over a pretty blonde woman who was stood with a group of her friends.

"By dance you mean grind against some clueless tourist?" Max jabbed at Jake who flipped a finger at him as he left.

"They won't be clueless for long." Ari snorted. Half an hour later, after some dancing and more drinking, Ari noticed Hannah and Rachel were surrounded by the German Tourists who had all been watching Hannah. Ari was observing from a distance, the jealousy building slowly but surely, and when at one point he saw one of them wrap an arm round Hannah's shoulder and dip his head unabashedly towards her face he snapped.

"Fucker" he snarled as he started striding over but was stopped by someone grabbing his shoulder. He turned round only to see Sammy was the one holding him back.

"Don't cause a scene man. Han's got it, look." Sammy nodded his head in the girls' direction causing Ari to turn to look in time to see Hannah pulling away, her hands planted on the guy’s chest, shaking her head firmly.

"Yeah, back off asshole…" Ari hissed. "Wait. Is she smiling at him? Why is she smiling at him?" he asked Sammy, his eyes never leaving the scene though.

"She's just being polite." Max said in an attempt to downplay the issue.

"Sure." Ari snorted as he watched Hannah still smiling, her hands still on the guy’s shoulders. "Whatever. I’m ending this now." and he motioned to start towards the guy again. Sammy groaned and called at him to stop, but this time it was Max who physically did it.

"Look chill. There’s nothing going on there and like Sammy said, you’ll cause a scene. Besides Jake is close by."

But Ari was pissed and he was equally drunk, his alcohol fuelled brain wasn't working logically as all he could see was Hannah smiling at that guy that was far too close to her. As he stood watching, his jaw twitching, fists balling at his side, eventually the guy stepped back and held his hands up, turning to leave the girls alone.

Hannah watched the guy as he went, shaking her head at his complete and utter forward nature,  and then spotted Ari. His handsome features which were usually soft when he looked at her were hardened and his gentle blue eyes blazed with rage she hadn’t seen in a long time. She frowned at the outward display of anger and she excused herself from Rachel and Jake and headed over.

"I’m gonna grab a snack." Max was the first to split, as soon as he noticed Hannah approaching.

"Good idea." Sammy agreed and they hastily headed off. 

Hannah watched them for a moment as they left and then turned to Ari, whose jaw was twitching. "What’s wrong Lobo?"

"You tell me Firefly." he replied and she frowned at his flat tone.

"I don't know that's why I asked." she said softly, not wanting to fuel whatever was bothering him.

He scoffed. "You can’t be that oblivious."

Hannah stared at him and frowned again. "Are you talking about that guy just then?"

"Oh, so you do know what I’m talking about then."

She groaned, his jealous nature which was cute at times was at others fucking annoying.  "Ari, he made a pass at me, I told him no. I'm not sure what else there is to say."  

She frowned, feeling slightly puzzled not least because she had done nothing wrong but if Ari really believed what he had seen, then he surely would have been straight in there. He had done it before…

"Why you think he made that move?" Ari asked shrugging slightly at Hannah’s shocked expression.

"You think…” Hannah trailed off, her puzzled expression sliding into one of anger as she realised what Ari was implying and she narrowed her eyes. “You know what? Fuck this." she snarled and turned to leave.

"Firefly!" he growled. "Where do you think you’re going? Come back here! Hannah!"

Hannah stopped and turned to face him, gathering all the self-control she had in her not to slap him straight across his face for yelling at her. "To bed Ari. But for the record the only reason I'm not screaming at you right now is because of all these guests. You're being a fucking asshole, Levinson."

 "No, I’m not." he hissed. "You’re being a brat Hannah."

"I’m being a brat?" she let out a sarcastic, hearty laugh. "Fuck you." she spat at him and with that she stormed off in their hut direction.

Ari stood frozen watching her leave for a moment and when the realization of what had just happened washed over him he kicked the sand. "Fuck!" and he paused for a few seconds, considering his options, before he went after her. He could tell she was aware he was just behind her as she sped up till she finally reached the hut and went to slam the door but Ari got his foot in the way.

"Nice try Firefly."

"Fuck you Ari." she spat those words at him again.

Simon looked up from where he had been dozing on the bed, his head cocking to the side at the raised voices.

"Hey! I’m the one who has the right to be pissed." 

"No, no you don’t Ari!"

"Ok, now, you listen to me…" Ari said sternly as he brushed his hair off his face.

“I don't wanna listen. I'm done." she bit back.

"Fine, whatever." he said as he took off his shirt and went into the bathroom. He usually let her go first but not that night, he was making his point and was determined to stand for it, whatever it took or so he thought as he looked at his reflection in the mirror, his hands gripping the basin so hard his knuckles were now white. He sighed and tried to steady his breathing before sorting himself out and emerging into the room again.

 "Can I go in now?" Hannah asked sarcastically, standing up from where she was sat on the bed.

"All yours." he replied, equally as sarcastic.  

She stalked past him, staring straight ahead, before she shut the door behind her. Once alone in the room she  sat on the toilet, her head in her hands as she started sobbing, all the rage she was feeling seeping from her eyes. That was not how that night was supposed to go, but she had no fucking idea what or why he thought she’d encouraged anything. And the hypocrite was talking just the previous day about keeping the guests satisfied after she’d teased him about flirting. Did he really not trust her that much? She was well aware they were both drunk, so that was probably worse than it should be but still…it hurt.  She felt the tears sting her eyes and wiped them away as he breathed in deeply before standing to wash her face and clean her teeth.  

When she came back into the bedroom Ari was led on his back, looking up at the ceiling. She made an effort to ignore him and grabbed a vest and a pair of shorts, changed and got into bed, turning so her back was to him before clicking off the small lamp at her side of the bed.

Ari turned his head to look at her, letting out a sigh. He hesitated for a moment but he then shuffled and turned towards her back and was about to stretch his arm out for her when she spoke.

"Don’t you dare touch me, Ari."

He grit his teeth at her hoarse voice. He could tell she had been crying but at that point in time he was pissed off. He tried to come up with an equally hurtful comment to show his annoyance but all he managed to say was “Good night firefly."

As no response came on Hannah's part, with an angry groan and a roll of his eyes he turned back the other way and for the first time since they started sharing a bed 2 years ago, they didn’t fall asleep wrapped up in each other’s arms.

And the space between them felt like miles.

**** The next morning Ari woke up to Simon, as always, led on his face. Pushing him off, the dog giving the usual low grumble of protest, Ari grimaced a little at the movement, his limbs feeling heavy. The room was quiet, but he could hear Hannah in the bathroom. With a groan he dropped his arm over his eyes in an attempt to keep the light from painfully flooding his system. His head was pounding and the inside of his mouth felt like he had been eating the sand from the beach.

He cast his mind back over the events of the night and he could remember drinking, fooling around and then everything going to shit. He really didn’t want to think about it, but his stubborn brain led him to replay it over and over again. The more he thought about it, the more he knew he had been an ass, but that bastard making a move to kiss his girl had sent him into overdrive. Fortunately the current set of tourists were leaving that morning and once they were gone Ari could concentrate on damage control with Hannah.

At that point the door to bathroom opened and he moved his arm away from his eyes to see Hannah stepping back into the room, already dressed in a pair of red shorts and a loose fitting white t-shirt that slouched off her right shoulder giving him a flash of her blue bikini strap. Ignoring the fact that the room was spinning, Ari sat up slightly in bed to look at her for a moment before he tentatively spoke.

“You woke up early Firefly” his voice was a little croaky, fuck he needed water.  

“Couldn’t sleep” came the clipped response.

“Han…” he sighed, but she clearly wasn’t in the mood to speak to him.

“I think I’m gonna go for a walk on the beach.” She replied, her tone flat. Ari started to protest but she completely ignored him. “I need to get out of here. I’m suffocating”

“Hannah.” He tried again, and this time she took a deep, annoyed voice and snapped her head round to look at him.

“What?” she demanded.

He knew that speaking to her whilst she was still angry at him would merely result in them arguing even more so he sighed, shaking his head. “Nothing.”

“Whatever.” She rolled her eyes and walked towards the door. As she wrenched it violently open, Simon bounced off the bed and trotted after her as she left, slamming it behind her causing Ari to wince at the noise.

He lay back with a groan, cursing himself. Hannah was really pissed, and now his mind began to wander furiously. He had to make this right, he couldn’t risk losing her. Not again.

“For fucks sake Levinson, get a grip” he chastised himself. This was an argument, a stupid, ridiculous argument that’s all. Worrying about losing her was a little extreme. Wasn’t it?

He lay there, his mind arguing with itself for a few minutes before the sound of voices drifted through the lattice screens which covered the window to their hut. Knowing that he really should get up to see the guests off he kicked off the blankets and swung his legs off the side of the bed before he headed into the bathroom. After a quick shower he pulled on a clean pair of swim shorts and a light and pink hooped t-shirt before he shoved on his socks and hiking boots and headed out.

Breakfast was a quiet affair. Everyone was visibly hungover, plus the tension between Ari and Hannah was festering in the air casting a shadow over the usual well natured meal. There was no gentle touching, no longing looks, no grins, no giggles. The atmosphere was sour, and impossible to ignore.

“You ok, Han?” Sammy looked at his sister as she was picking at a croissant, not really eating much of it.

“Fine Sam.” Her response was short but not angry. Sammy frowned and looked at Ari who was drinking his coffee, deliberately avoiding anyone’s gaze.

Rachel and Jake exchanged glances as Max studied Hannah for a moment. Suddenly conscious everyone’s attention was her she pushed her plate away from her and stood up.

“Excuse me, I need to feed Simon.”

She moved away from the table, Ari following her with his eyes, his head bowing slightly once she was out of sight.

“Something wrong with Cracker?” Max asked.

“Leave it.” Sammy instructed, his eyes flicking to Ari’s before his best friend turned away. He then glanced at Rachel who gave a small sigh and stood up, ready to go and find her but Ari stopped her as he drained his coffee and issued an instruction.

“Make sure everyone is checked out, the bus will be leaving in 30.”

Rachel looked at him, blinking but she didn’t argue “Sure.”

With that he stood up and wandered outside, lighting up a cigarette. As he took a drag he leaned on the wall and out came the group of tourists that had been dancing with the girls the night before. He nodded his head to greet them, a little stiffly, offering no trace of a smile. His eyes watched the asshole that had made the move on his Firefly as he nudged one of the guys on his left, laughing as one by one they settled on the sun-loungers, a few meters away, suitcases by their side ready to depart.

Ari tuned his attention to the ocean, watching the early morning sun bouncing off the surface, and he was trying not to listen, he really was, but he just couldn’t help it when one of the guys, clear as day, asked the asshole if he had said goodbye properly to the Spanish hotty. Ari stiffened, and found himself suddenly undecided as to whether he was happy he could understand German or not.

“I wish.” The asshole laughed in his home language “She seems to have disappeared into thin air. I’m so pissed I only got to speak to her on the last day.”

“You’ve been eyeing her up since we arrived man!” one of the other guys shot back “Pity she turned you down.”

Another snorted “Yeah man, flat out no!”

Sniggers arose from the group and then one of them looked up, Ari hastily averting his gaze, but he clearly wasn’t quick enough.

“Keep it down, I’m pretty sure I’ve seen her with the owner”

Asshole shrugged “He’s American, not German, can’t understand us!”

Ari fought to keep his face straight. Dick.

“You know, you’re worse than that dog that wanders around!” the guy that had told them to shut up shook his head “You cannot keep it in your pants anywhere!” “Can’t help it. But come on, guys! You seen her?”

“Yes, yes we have. She cute.”

Asshole sighed “Pity we’re leaving, reckon I could have worn her down, got her on her back with a little more time.”

Ari felt his jaw clench, he’d heard enough. With a cough he cleared his throat and then felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned to see Rachel looking at him.

“All set.”

He nodded and turned back to the group of boys “Bus is ready if you want to climb up.”

They all turned to look at him and the one sat nearest on the edge of a lounger nodded. “Sure man.”

Ari watched them all gather their luggage and make their way back into the hotel. He nodded as they all walked past him, Asshole taking up the rear, and as he went to pass, Ari placed his arm over the doorway, hand curling round the edge of the frame, blocking his way.

“Hey…” Asshole began to protest but Ari fixed him with an icy glare.

“Next time you wanna talk about getting my girl on her back, maybe check I can’t actually understand you…and for the record, if you weren’t leaving today you’d be shark bait.” He hissed in German, before he moved his arm as Asshole swallowed, his eyes wide with shock and horror. Ari smiled and then spoke to him in English “Have a safe trip home, dick.”

The guy scurried away as fast as he could, Ari’s eyes burning a hole in his back as he left. Once he was out of sight the anger Ari was feeling gave way to guilt as he had basically accused Hannah of leading the asshole on, even though he knew that wasn’t the case. Hannah wouldn’t dream of doing something like that. Sometimes she could be a little flirty but then so could he, it was just who they were, and to accuse her the way he had done was ridiculous. But then again he had been drunk, and even when sober he was a total mess when it came to his girl, and now she was giving him the cold shoulder.

He had to fix this.

Taking a deep breath he headed inside to look for Hannah and found her in the office with Rachel. Immediately he spotted her red puffy eyes and the concern on Rachel’s face and that made him feel like complete shit.

“Rachel, can you give us a minute?” he asked softly. Rachel looked to him before she shrugged.

“Sure”

She turned and left the office, not before giving him a filthy look and once she was gone Hannah looked at him.

“What do you want Ari?” She sniffed and Ari took a deep breath

“Sweetheart, I'm sorry”

“Sorry for what exactly?” she tipped her chin up to look at him, and Ari should have known she wasn’t going to let him off with a mere, simple and overarching apology.

“Last night. I was out of order” “Talk about an understatement! You basically called me a slut.”

“No, Hannah.” Ari began to protest “That’s not what I said.”

“Not with those exact words maybe, but you implied it Ari.”

“It’s not what I meant.” He repeated his sentiment, “Look, I’m so sorry Han. I don’t know what got into me”

“You know…” Hannah shook her head “I knew you had this jealous streak in you but..”  she took a deep breath and licked her lips .”I think I need some space”

At that she made to pass him in the doorway but Ari gently grabbed her arm. “Han, wait.”

“Let me go Ari”

Ari glanced down at his hand and released her arm “Hannah.”

“I just need to be alone.” She swallowed “Please.”

At that Ari gave a small nod and stepped to the side allowing her to leave. With a groan he ran both hand through his hair before his right fist slammed down on the desk in a fit of rage.

“Fuck!” he yelled out, his voice and the thud of his hand punching the desk echoed around the room and he ran his hand down his beard. He was really worried now that he’d completely screwed everything. Today was fast shaping up to be a complete shit storm and it wasn’t even midday yet. For a second he considered heading after her but he knew he needed to respect her request for space, so instead he headed into the bar area, grabbed a bottle of bourbon, necked a shot or 3 to sort his headache out and turned on his heels and left.

****

Later that afternoon Hannah was heading to her hut when Rachel stopped her and said that she needed Ari’s passport for some paperwork which Colonel Madibo requested when he had stopped by on his Annual Visit a month or so prior. Rachel had failed to find Ari so had instead asked Hannah if she could find it in his absence.

As usual when she needed something, Rachel couldn’t wait, so Hannah shrugged and headed back to the hut to see if she could find it and decided to try his backpack first off. As she dug around her hands curled around a leather book. Curiosity piqued she removed it to see it was a note book of sorts and she flicked open the first page, finding it simply to be a log book, written mostly in code but she recognised it as being a short hand that most agents were trained in. It appeared to be accounts of the missions they’d run but as she closed it, she noticed that there were a few photos tucked into the back cover. She gently pulled them out and smiled as she saw the first one was of Ari and Maya when Maya was a toddler. Ari’s hair and beard both much shorter. The next one was a Polaroid of the team at the front of the hotel, then there was one of her and Simon which she had never seen before, but that had been taken yesterday morning from the looks of things, and then one of her, Ari and Sammy which was of her graduation. She frowned a little, unsure why Ari kept this with him considering it was from so long ago at a time when they hadn’t even been together. She turned it over, as if expecting to find the explanation there but she didn’t find anything but Ari’s haphazard scrawl in the bottom right hand corner- “Firefly’s Graduation”

A wave of nostalgia washed over her as she thought back to that day, the gift Ari had bought her, and that being the time she realised she was hopelessly in love with him. She swallowed, before tucking the photos back where she found them. After a little more digging in the backpack she found his passport and headed back to the main hotel and into the office. She held it out to Rachel who smiled, the grin immediately slipping as she caught sight of Hannah’s face.

“You ok?”

“Yeah…have you seen Ari?”

“Not since before no.”  Rachel took the passport she was holding out from Hannah “you know I’m sure he-“

“Yeah, I know.” Hannah shook her head, not wanting to talk about it anymore “Listen, Rachel, I don’t want dinner. I’m tired so I’ll grab something later if I’m hungry.”

“Ok, sure.”

She gave Rachel another smile before she made her way back out to the beach. She stood, hands on her hips as she contemplated going to find Ari to talk but before she could she heard Max yelling at her to take care of Simon who was chewing some of the equipment he and Jake were trying to store. With a groan she went to retrieve the pain-in-the-ass dog, took him back to the hut where she led on the bed and closed her eyes, completely drained.

When she woke a few hours later it was dark. The hut was completely silent apart from Simon’s soft snores and Ari was nowhere to be seen. Standing up she grabbed a warmer top as it had gone a little chilly outside and leaving Simon snoozing on her bed she wandered out onto the dimly lit beach to find him. The resort empty, not a soul to be seen, and it was completely dark apart from the light which was pooling out of the door which led to the main reception area. She made her way to the door which was open and saw Ari sat straddling the desk, legs dangling either side. They were swinging to and fro slightly, the muscles in his strong thighs straining and stretching as he did so, cigarette in his mouth as he studied the ‘Satisfied Guests’ board on the wall. With a soft sigh he led back against the desk, closing his eyes.  

“Ari?” Hannah spoke softly and he turned his head sharply towards her. He eyed her for a moment, clearly trying to size up her mood and she allowed her face to soften slightly and he gave a slight smile in response.

“Hey firefly.”

“It’s late.” She stepped into the room a little more.

“I know.”

“So what are you doing sat on the desk?”

“Just reviewing our satisfied guest number.” He shrugged “Which is gonna go up tomorrow.”

“Exactly, so you should come to bed, you never sleep the night after a mission so…”

“I was gonna take one of the spare rooms.” Ari admitted and Hannah rolled her eyes.

“Don’t be so dramatic.”

“I’m not being dramatic” he shrugged. “You said you wanted space…”

“I’ve had space all day.”

“I know I just…well, was waiting for you to decide when you’d had enough…”

Hannah took a deep breath, bit her lip and nodded to the board he’d been studying. “Look at the back.” She instructed.

“What?” he frowned at her sudden change of subject.

“I said, look at the back of the board, Ari.”

He gave her another puzzled look before he shuffled over and spun it round, his eyes roaming the 5 digits that had been carved into the back. “3. 19. 80.” He looked at her “That’s you birthday 2 years ago.”

“Yeah.” She nodded, “I wanted that date permanently carving into something other than my brain.”

“I’m not…”

“It was the first time you told me you loved me” she explained softly, and Ari felt his eyes widen “I waited so long to hear you say it.” She took a deep breath “Which is why I can’t understand why you think I’d ever look at anyone else.”

Ari sighed, turning the board back round, as he spun his body to face her, legs dangling off the edge of the desk. “I don’t, Han. I was just being a stupid, jealous prick.”

Hannah took a deep breath, looking at him. His eyes were down cast, his face pinched with regret. She exhaled and shook her head “No more ok? I can’t deal with your stupid fits of pathetic jealousy and possessiveness.”

“I know, I know. I’m sorry.” He shook his head, looking down at his hands. “I just, well, you’re not the only one who waited so long for us. Sometimes I worry that, well you’ll realise that I’m just an asshole after all and that you could do so much better.”

“I already know you’re an asshole.” She shrugged, a smile playing on her lips “But you’re my asshole. And I don’t want to do any better.”

Ari’s eyes locked onto hers and he let out a deep breath, smiling softly before he gave a jerk of his head “C’mere…”

“Ari…”

“Just get up here Firefly”

The roll of her eyes and little groan would have maybe fooled anyone else into thinking she was frustrated, but not Ari. He caught the smile on her face as she walked over towards him and hopped up onto the counter. With a grin, Ari looped both his arms around her waist and clumsily pulled her with him as he fell back, both of them laying chest to chest, his arms round her holding her close. She gave a low chuckle, shaking her head.

“Dumbass.”

“Yeah.” He agreed, reaching up and tucking her hair behind her ears with both his hands. He then cupped her face gently, before he leaned up and gave her a soft kiss.

“I love you.”  He said gently “And I really am sorry.”

“I know.”

“You know that I love you or you know that I’m sorry?”

She hesitated for a second before she smirked and arched an eyebrow “Both”

Ari chuckled and Hannah grinned and lay against Ari’s chest, snuggling into his t-shirt, the top of her head up under his chin. Neither of them said anything for a little while, just lay there basking in one another’s warmth, the argument forgotten until eventually Hannah felt her eyes growing heavy.

“Ari.”

“Yeah”

“Seriously, we need to go to bed.”

“Yeah…” he hummed back, his hands stroking up her neck.

“I mean it.”

“Mmhmmm.”

“Ari!” she said exasperatedly and he gave a low groan.

“Okay, okay…”

With what felt like a Herculean effort Hannah pushed herself up and hopped down from the counter, Ari doing the same, his boot clad feet echoing around the empty room as the soles slapped on the tiles. He stretched his arms, causing his t-shirt to ride up a little at the bottom as he ran both hands through his hair. Silently, he held out his hand and Hannah slipped hers into it, and together they headed out of the door pausing only to turn off the lights and make sure the main doors were locked.

**** The next morning was hectic, for two main reasons. A new batch of guests had arrived and in between that they were doing the preps for the mission later that evening. Rachel and Hannah were busy with the guests whilst Max, Jake and Ari were busy with the equipment. Radios needed to be tested, the trucks needed to be checked over to ensure there would be no mechanical issues and Sammy was busy making sure the medical supplies were stocked and packed.

Once that was gone, Ari took himself off for a run, in an attempt to burn off some of the usual nervous energy he had the day of a mission. He was out for a good hour, and as he rounded the edge of the cove onto the last few hundred yard stretch of beach up to the resort he spotted a few new guests were sat out in the sun reading and chatting. He nodded to them as he rounded up the small path off the main shore line, coming to an abrupt halt as Simon ran up to him from goodness knows where, almost tripping him over.

“Hey bud…” Ari panted a little, removing his headphones and clicking off his walkman “Where’s mom?”

“Here.”

Ari spun round to see Hannah stood there in a pair of shorts and a white tank top, the strings of her bikini visible round her neck, her hair damp.

“Hey sweetheart.” He smiled, and she took a moment to look him up and down, noticing the sweat dripping from his forehead and his damp t-shirt that was sticking to his torso. “Pervert.”

She shrugged and grinned before she spoke again, her cover accent thick on her tongue. “Good run?”

He nodded as he continued his deep breathing looking round “Not as much fun as this morning’s exercise though.” He flashed her a cheeky wink as she chuckled and took the soft kiss he offered. “How’ bout you? Good dive?”

She nodded “Still waiting for that elusive Hammer-Head sighting. You know, I’m beginning to think Irvine made it up.”

With a chuckle Ari gently looped an arm round her, pulling her to him as they headed into the main room of the resort, Hannah shoving against him, protesting at the fact he was basically wiping his sweat all over her but their teasing and joking died down as Rachel immediately accosted them, her German accent flawless as always.

“There you are. I was just talking about you with our new guests.”

Ari looked up to see 3 people in chairs in the reception area, and as the man in front of him stood and turned he saw it was Walton Bowen, the guy from the CIA that he had last seen in Khartoum Airport.

“Mr. Thomas, nice to see you again.”

“Now this is a surprise.” Ari smiled, shaking the hand Bowen offered before his hands dropped to his hips, his breathing still recovering from his run.

“Well, I'm sure it is. You're not an easy man to find. I think I saw you nearly two years ago. You were an anthropologist back then.” Bowen eyed Ari shrewdly taking a drag from his baby cigar.

“Right, well...” Ari smiled again, “Didn't pay the bills.” He offered as means of an explanation for the huge change in career direction.

“Yeah…” Bowen looked at him again, his eyes then flicking to Hannah.

“Sorry, where are my manners.” Ari apologised, “Rosa, this is Mr Walton Bowen. Works for the US Embassy?” he made it a question, even though he knew full well all about Bowen’s actual background having been debriefed back in ‘79 following his arrest.

“Of a fashion” Mr Bowen smiled. “Cultural attaché”

“Right.” Ari nodded “Well, Mr Bowen, this is Rosa Garcia, my partner and head of guest relations.”

“It’s a pleasure.” Hannah smiled, shaking Bowen’s hand.  

“Likewise.” Bowen smiled, releasing her hand.

“And you’ve already met my general manager, Angela.” Ari concluded and both Bowen and Rachel nodded in agreement before she spoke.

“I was just about to give Aziz the dinner order, will you be staying?

Bowen shook his head “That’s very kind but, no thank you. We’ll need to get back.”

“Ok, well in that case can I grab you anything for now?” she asked.

“I could go for something.” Ari looked at her, knowing full well the mission meant he would miss dinner and they usually ate a little earlier. Rachel understood perfectly and gave him a nod, turning to go.

“I’ll help.” Hannah turned to Ari who nodded and dropped a kiss to her temple before she hurried out after Rachel. He turned back to Bowen who was simply looking at him, his eyebrow raised a little.

“She a guest who never left or…”

“It’s a long story.” Ari smiled.

“I’m sure it is Mr Thomas.”

Ari nodded and then gestured towards the dining room, indicating one of the tables. “Shall we?”

Bowen turned to the two people who were with him and with a jerk of his head they moved outside. Ari watched them go before he nodded and the two men made their way over and settled at the large table the team usually ate round. Ari grabbed them both a bottle of water from the fridge at the far side of the room and settled in a chair, his elbow leaning on the back of it, as relaxed as he could make himself. They made small talk until Hannah and Rachel, or Rosa and Angela even, having had Aziz fix some crudités and hummus brought them out and dropped them onto the table before they too moved outside to take some to the two other unannounced guests. As Ari watched Hannah then walked back past them into the kitchen, and he returned his attention to Bowen, trying to appear interested, all the time simply waiting to find out what the man had actually turned up for. “Well... the hawks are demanding stricter Sharia law. Nimeiry is increasingly paranoid.” Bowen spoke, dipping a carrot into the hummus. “If you ask me, this entire country is a fucking tinder box.”

“Really? We don't really feel that out here.”

“No?”

“No.”

At that they both looked up as Hannah walked back into the room with a jug of iced tea and placed it in the middle of the table.

“Thanks honey.” Ari smiled at her as he reached for it “You wanna join us?” He paused and glanced at Bowen who gestured with his hand to say he didn’t mind so he poured 3 glasses and Hannah sat down at the seat next to him. Ari sat back in his chair, his arm casually draping over the high back of hers, her hand dropping to his thigh, fingers curling around the curve of the muscle, gently squeezing. He was tense, she could feel it. She softly rubbed his skin and his hand moved slightly in response, the pads of his fingers began tracing random shapes on the top of her arm.

“State's sent cargo planes for us, ready to evac in the event things take a turn for the worse. Oh. -And this refugee crisis, it's... it's really not helping.” Bowen shook his head as he looked at Ari, then Hanna, who met him with a blank look.

“Refugee crisis?” Hannah frowned.

“Yeah, you have entire refugee neighbourhoods just disappearing.” Bowen gestured with his hands “Into thin air.” “And that’s bad?” Hannah’s voice was puzzled. “Refugees are normally viewed as a burden, I’m not following.”

Clever girl… Ari looked down at the table, scratching his head

“The UN offers a stipend to the Sudanese for every refugee they house, so when people start to disappear that's just...  bad for business.” Bowen finished matter of factly.

At his blasé tone, Hannah felt herself growing a little angry at the way he was talking about real life people. Her people more specifically, as if they were nothing but commodities to be traded.

“Well…” Ari cut in, “The only crisis we face is whether or not we catch fresh lobster.” The three of them laughed as Ari shook his head. “Just kidding.”

“Well, I just got back from Gedaref, where the Mukhabarat had executed another 30 people.” Walton Bowen deadpanned and instantly the mood around the table changed. Cold washed over Hannah and besides her Ari shifted ever so slightly in his seat, the smile slipping from his face. “This is quite serious.2

Ari inhaled deeply and raised his eyebrows, he was done. They had a mission to prep for, and now more than ever he had to make sure that it was a success especially as his prediction seemed to be coming true- the net was closing in on them now and who knows how long they had. “I'd like to stay and chat, but I gotta get back to work.” He spoke, looking at Bowen.

“Yes, we have dinner to do and some night diving to prepare.” Hannah added.

“Sure. Okay.” Bowen nodded as the two of them stood up “Enjoy the...” he waved at the food on the table with his other hand as they both walked towards the exit, but Walton said something else that stopped them both in their tracks.

“Kabede Bimro, right?”

Ari glanced at Hannah, the pair of them hastily covering their shock with what they hoped looked like a confused glance and Ari shot a look at Bowen “Excuse me?”

“Hmm? Oh I just think it's such a funny name. Kabede.” The man shrugged.

“Yeah…” Ari made a face as if he found the whole thing baffling, before he turned back, his hand dropping to Hannah’s back but before they could move Bowen spoke again.

“And what about Ethan Navon…”

Hannah gave a little start. It was slight, an almost imperceptible slip, but a slip none the less. She swallowed, recovering, and turned to look at Ari, frowning.

“Guy, do you know what he’s talking about?” she asked.

Ari shook his head “Not a clue Firefly” he used her nickname in the hope it would calm her, and also to play the whole situation as naturally as he could. He looked at Bowen “I really have no idea who these people you’re talking about are, should I?”

“You tell me”

“I wish I could.” Ari gave a chuckle, shaking his head again, and giving Bowen a look that he hoped made the man believe that Ari thought he was crazy.

“You know, Mr Bowen…” Hannah spoke again “It’s getting late and it can get dark out there pretty quickly. If you’d like a room for the night we can fix it.”

“Not necessary, but I wouldn’t mind a look round.” Bowen shrugged “Maybe I’ll come stay sometime in the future, that is if I’m still in the Country, of course.”

“Go ahead” Ari nodded “Just shout if you need us.”

At that the pair of them made their way as calmly as possible from the dining room and into the kitchen, where the rest of the team was congregated. “What's the CIA doing here?” Sammy asked, “What did he want?”

“I don't know.” Ari ran his hand over his beard.

“He mentioned Dad, Sammy. Hannah looked at him.”

“I heard” Sammy nodded.

“I think he was trying to warn us.” Hannah shrugged.

“Fuck! He knows about Kabede.” Jake slapped his palm on the side behind him and Ari stood up tall, looking through the doorway at Bowen before he turned back.

“We gotta go.”

“No, this is just so fucking stupid.” Sammy shook his head “Tell Kabede it's too dangerous. We'll pick it up in two weeks when we have a chance to assess the threat.”

“We have 200 people—“ Ari began to protest but he was cut off by Sammy

“Yeah, and we'll have 200 people less if we fuck it up.” He hissed.

“For fuck's sake, Sammy, will you just trust me for once?”

“Well, if we're doing this, we need to leave now.” Hannah spoke, looking around “So what's it gonna be?”

Max, who hadn’t spoken a word since Ari and Hannah had joined them, swallowed the sandwich he had been eating and wiped his hands on his shorts “We go.”

“That simple?” Sammy looked at him and Max turned to Sammy, fixing him with a stare.

“Yeah, that simple.”

***** Chapter 13

[johnny-and-dora]

how sweet the taste of certainty

Finally, she doesn’t have to wonder if their love is doomed to be some quiet, fragile thing. It’s not some fickle flickering candle at all, but rather something as bright and as certain and as inevitable as the sunrise. Something beautiful and familiar that, in earnest, is only just beginning.

or, amy tells her parents the shining, golden reason why she can't marry teddy. (a missing scene of my royalty au)

read on ao3 / read the original  -

The morning after she asks Jake to marry her, Amy stops a couple steps short of the heavy dining room doors, heart in her mouth, feet suddenly and brutally rooted to the ground. The eloquent and respectful speech she spent all night planning has seemingly evaporated, leaving her less of a person and more a pile of nervous mush.

“Are you ready?” Rosa meets her gaze, her armour glinting in the summer morning sunshine.

“No.” Amy admits, smiling nervously, calculating the nearest escape route and how long she could survive in the forest based on her existing hunting and foraging skills. “Do you think this is a bad idea?”

Rosa considers it for a beat. “No. I think it’s crazy, and it might blow up in your face, but I think it’s a good thing. For everyone.”

She can’t help but feel reassured by her best friend’s trademark bluntness, smoothing down her dress and fixing her hair again almost compulsively. It’s just breakfast. A breakfast that may as well be taking place in the middle of a minefield, but still just breakfast. She can handle breakfast.

Amy takes a deep breath, nods at Rosa, and pushes the doors open.

She’s greeted by the tail-end of an idyllic Santiago family meal; her parents sit at the head of the table, looking stoic and serious as usual. Three of her brothers are also dotted around, Julian in the middle of shoving an entire croissant in his mouth as he waves at her. David is mercifully absent. Silver linings. She definitely doesn’t need the golden child around today.

“Amelia – good, we were starting to worry…” Her mom trails off, a weight behind her words that instantly sends an unpleasant lick of irritation down her spine. She clenches her fists, resisting the urge to tell her just how much she really needs to be worried about. Just how close she was to smuggling herself and Jake over the border last night and never looking back.

Amy knows this won’t work unless she’s calm, firm and collected – she needs this to go perfectly, the stakes for this particular conversation so far past the roof they’re practically up in the stratosphere (Jake’s words, not hers). So, instead of letting out all the latent anger kicking around in her chest, she takes a deep breath and smiles politely, the one usually reserved for dukes that condescendingly call her “sweetheart” and then drop their jaws when she can recite state law from memory.

“You guys said you wanted to see me?”

“Prince Theodore has been asking after you. He’s waiting at the West Wing gate.”

“Good. I need to talk to him.” Amy says, forcefully enough that her mother sharply raises an eyebrow, sucking all the air out of the room in the process. “I need to talk to you, too.”

Her mom and dad share a quick, loaded glance. Everyone falls quiet, Tony and Simon no longer squabbling over who gets the last bread roll, Julian letting a blob of jam fall on his shirt without noticing. All eyes are on her as Victor gestures for her to continue – ideally, she’d do this with as little of an audience as possible, but she confesses to Jake later that she couldn’t help but revel slightly in the drama of it all.

She’s Amy Santiago – she’s fluent in five languages, director of the royal art collection, ambassador for human rights and one of the best trade negotiators in the seven kingdoms. She is capable of anything. She can do this. She’d barely last a week in the forest anyway.

“I’m not going to marry him.”

“Amelia…” Her mother sighs disapprovingly – it drills into Amy’s soul, but she stands her ground, making peace with her portrait being one step further away from the mantel. Her father eyes her warily as if he was expecting this.

“No, I know. I know you think it’s what’s best for me. I know a marriage like that worked for you two, and I know that it would benefit the kingdom and that’s great. But I can’t marry someone I don’t love, and you can’t force me to.”

“Accepting his proposal may seem like a risk, but a one worth taking.” Her father says. “He’s good for you, Amy – his reputation, his influence, it could really help you build something. You two are perfectly matched.”

Amy chews her bottom lip, a nervous tic she just can’t shake, gathering her courage. “Maybe in a different situation, Teddy and I would have worked. I see what you see in him. But it’s more than just on principle. I physically can’t marry him.”

“Why not?”

“Because - “Amy says, voice shaking a little, but eyes alight, “-I’m engaged to someone else.”

And, well, there it is. Her whole life changed by a single sentence.

It has the intended effect, increased tenfold thanks to a truly magnificent spit take from Julian as he chokes on his orange juice. Her parents stare at her in stunned disbelief – a wide-eyed Tony pats Julian on the back as his coughing dissolves into laughter. Best of all though, Amy can see Rosa smiling wide and proud in the corner of her eye, and it’s all she needs to feel newly emboldened, heart thumping in a way that makes her feel powerful instead of helpless.

“My God, Amy. I thought I had it with the whole one-night-stand with the Prince of Arabia thing, but you officially just won most dramatic family announcement. Well played.” Julian laughs, uproarious and bright. She’s glad he’s here.

“I…don’t understand. You are…already engaged?” Her mother asks weakly.

“As of last night, yes.” Amy tries to remain as neutral and matter-of-fact as possible, but she can’t help softening at the fresh memory of Jake saying yes over and over again, punctuating each affirmation with a kiss as she laughed, buoyant and alive with unadulterated joy. It’s all still very surreal, especially considering she hasn’t slept since; but if it is all a dream, it’s one she never intends to wake up from.

“I don’t see a ring,” Julian says, a bright grin plastered on his face that Amy ever so slightly mirrors, unable to completely tamp down her happiness any longer. “Isn’t there supposed to be a ring?”

“There is, but he has it. I proposed to him.”

“Oh, of course you did.” Julian shakes his head in a perfect marriage of awe and amusement.

“How…what…who…” Tony stammers – having graciously passed the point of no return, Amy decides to throw all her caution and concern to the wind and dive headfirst into the unknown.

“His name is Jake Peralta and he is the absolute love of my life. I have never been surer about anything than I am about that fact.” She consciously pours every ounce of conviction she has into her words, and it tastes like honey on her tongue, fresh air in her lungs. “He’s a baker and he helps out in the kitchen with Charles and he is the kindest, most loyal, most wonderful person I have ever met.”

There are so many ways to describe him – completely unexpected, completely full of warmth and laughter and more love than she thought any human being was capable of containing. Loving Jake is endlessly surprising, but it’s also the easiest thing she’s ever done.

“I didn’t tell you because I knew you’d never approve of me being with someone who didn’t have ‘reputation’, but the truth is that Jake is good for me in a way that Teddy could never be. He is unconditionally supportive and thoughtful, and he sees me for me, not just as a status symbol or some idealised fairy-tale. I love him and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with him.”

She says her piece, affection flowing from her almost of its own accord. As she does, she’s flooded with memories – throwing grapes at each other at the picnic they shared in the wildflower meadows beyond the gates. Jake smuggling cupcakes to her to cheer her up on bad days. Him clumsily risking his life climbing through her bedroom window just to help her rehearse her big address at a formal dinner, planting a kiss on her forehead every time she got through a cue card.

Their walks around the castle grounds, laughing at stupid inside jokes. Playing cards in the kitchens with Charles, Terry and Rosa. Teaching him how to paint and sketching him in increasingly ridiculous poses. Having dinner with his mom. Stealing away moments behind the stables and on staircases. Most vividly, their countless private rendezvous in the forest, free of all façades and responsibilities and reputations to uphold.

Amy refuses to hide any of it anymore – he is, openly and unashamedly, the man she loves.

No-one speaks, for a little while; she lets her honesty sink in. Her mother is wearing a look of abject horror – her dad’s expression is stony and unreadable, and it startles her when he is the first one to break the silence, directly addressing Rosa standing guard by the door.

“Diaz. Is all of this true?” Rosa glances at Amy, who gives her an encouraging nod. She knows her father has always valued Rosa’s directness as much as Amy does.

“Yes, sir.” She pauses. “And for the record, I’ve known both of these people a long time, and this is the happiest I’ve seen either of them. It’s kind of sickening, actually.”

Her parents exchange glances, a silent conversation Amy isn’t privy too – she’s too busy feeling her heart swell with further affection, this time for her best friend. She and Jake owe so much to Rosa helping them out, relaying messages back and forth and covering for them. When this is all over, Amy’s definitely embroidering a thank you pillow for her to punch.

“I see. Will you please bring this Jake Peralta here for me?” His tone is even and calm, almost unnervingly so. Rosa nods, quickly disappearing. She knows exactly where Jake will be; in the kitchens, probably stress eating day-old pastry and getting a last-minute pep talk from Charles (which is guaranteed to be largely unhelpful and delivered through hysterical tears).

She’d warned him that they’d probably want to meet him; he’d expressed anxiety about it last night, but Amy had quickly reassured him that no-one else’s opinion mattered to her about this. They’re getting married, whether her parents approve or not.

Obviously, she wants them to like him. She’s dedicated a lot of time to making sure he knows he is loved and accepted, and she’s willing to work even harder to wax lyrical about how wonderful he is for the rest of their lives if she has to. For now, though, she just has to focus on not getting them both exiled.

Her dad calmly asks her brothers to leave the table – Julian mutters in protest as he exits, only stopping to brightly clap Amy on the shoulder and earnestly congratulate her with an enthusiastic high five.

“He sounds great, mimi. I can’t wait to meet him.” For once, her older brother is completely sincere, save perhaps for the suggestive wink he gives her, and it’s a touching gesture that eases some of the relentless anxiety building in her gut. Amy dreads to think how insufferable the pair will be when they do finally meet. She can’t wait either.

Part of her is absolutely fucking terrified to be left alone with her parents with her open defiance and violation of their wishes hanging so ominously in the air – Amy Santiago has never been a rule breaker. She’s always worn the stupid fancy dresses even when she’s dying for something more practical and let Gina give her more and more complicated and ridiculous hairstyles and politely mingled with the endless line of boring high-status bachelors as her parents watched on hopefully. She’s always played the role of the only princess to perfection.

But then she thinks of little six-year-old Amy demanding that she be taught the same combat training as her brothers and twelve-year-old Amy petitioning to allow female members into the Royal Guard and, well. They really should have seen this coming from a mile away.

Thankfully, it doesn’t take long before Rosa strides back in, a clearly nervous Jake hurrying forward in her wake. For a moment, her original plan of whisking him away to start a simple life together swims into her head, a powerful urge to protect him surging over her.

But then their eyes meet, and he waves, a small nervous smile on his face. And then she notices, as it catches the sunlight streaming in through the window and glitters as if enchanted, the engagement ring hung proudly around his neck. And she just knows, as sure as the sun will rise, that they can handle anything.

“I understand that you are engaged to my Amy.”

“Yes, sir.” Jake rocks on his heels slightly, nervously fidgeting the way he always does when he’s anxious. “I’m very lucky to know her and I love her very much.” It’s not the most eloquent speech ever performed in this great hall, but it’s by far her favourite.

“How do I know you are good enough for my only daughter?”

“Oh, there’s no way I’m good enough for Amy. She’s the most incredible person I’ve ever met and the best thing that’s happened to me.” He steps closer to her, silently taking and squeezing her hand as he speaks. “But she still chose me, and I promise you that I will spend every moment of the rest of my life trying to be someone worthy of being loved by her.”

She wants to scream from the top of her lungs that he is completely and utterly good enough, and she wants to hurt anyone who has ever made him feel otherwise. Instead, she squeezes back, and mouths I love you while her parents exchange another hushed conversation.

“Well then - it appears there’s nothing we can do to stop you. Nor do I think we should try.” It could be a trick of the light, but she swears that she sees a glimmer of pride in her father’s eye. Her mom clears her throat, clearly still struggling to comprehend the situation.

“Mija, what we want most for you is for you to be happy. Does he make you happy?” She asks – Amy glances at the man beside her and finds her best friend, her fiancé, her favourite person. Easiest solve in the world.

“More than anything.”

“Then that settles that. You two have our blessing.” Her father says, as simply as if he was commenting on the weather. Amy blinks once, then again, her grip on Jake’s hand getting tighter.

“We…we do?”

“Yes, you do. We clearly have much to discuss, but I must first inform Prince Theodore that other arrangements need to be made.”

“I…wow. Thank you. Thank you, so much, I…” Her brain appears to be malfunctioning, so she does the only thing that feels right; she hugs her parents, whispering another strangled thank you, and then hastily pulls a stunned Jake out of the room, now squeezing his hand so tightly it’s probably cutting off all the circulation. If it does hurt, he doesn’t say anything – then again, in the moment neither of them seems able to speak.

She drags him into the nearest room; Holt’s classroom which, blessedly, is currently empty. Heart pounding, she finally meets Jakes gaze. He looks like he’s just found the end of a rainbow.

“Did they just…”

“Yeah. Yes. I think they did.”

“So, we’re…”

“Getting married. Yep. That is a thing that is officially happening.”

There’s a single moment before they’re both collapsing into shocked, near-hysterical laughter, an amalgamation of relief, disbelief, exhaustion and above all else, joy. Amy practically throws herself around him, performing some kind of strangled hybrid of laughing and crying as she buries herself into his shirt.

They stay like that for a while, completely wrapped up in each other. It could be seconds or minutes or maybe even hours – she doesn’t care. Time has ruled their life together for so long; now, it’s an insignificant enemy, no longer precious, unpredictable or finite. It’s bliss.

“Hey, listen. Rosa told me, uh, what you said. To your parents. About me being the love of your life and all that.” Jake says, suddenly adorably shy.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. She said it with a disgusted look on her face, but I think she’s secretly rooting for us.”

Amy hums in contentment, making a note to call her a secret sap and then hug her the next time she sees her. Jake clears his throat nervously, calling her attention back to him, all soft and warm honey gaze.

“You’re mine too, by the way.” He says sheepishly. “Just in case…I mean I hope you that know by now, but-“ She smothers his nervous ramblings with a firm kiss, finally. Finally, the abstract brush-strokes and subtle hues of the future they could have together come into sharp focus, vivid and prismatic.

Finally, she doesn’t have to wonder if their love is doomed to be some quiet, fragile thing. It’s not some fickle flickering candle at all, but rather something as bright and as certain and as inevitable as the sunrise. Something beautiful and familiar that, in earnest, is only just beginning.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, future wife.” He grins, kissing her again. She’s sure, now, as her lips meld to his that he is the person she was always meant to come home to, to find a home in.

Amy feels a wave of exhaustion overwhelm her; now that the adrenaline is wearing off, the unfortunate side-effects of not sleeping for almost twenty-four hours rapidly take hold. She barely suppresses a yawn, scrunching up her nose as Jake looks at her fondly.

“You wanna go back to bed? I happen to know an excellent nap partner.”

“Oh, great, me too. I’ll see if Hitchcock’s available.” She says, laughing when Jake pouts in offence, draping her arms around him, leaning up so that their noses are almost touching.

“It’s our first day together as an engaged couple. I want to do something special.”

“Ames, we have the rest of our lives to do something special.” He says, gazing down at her with so much undiluted affection that her resolve completely melts away. The rest of their lives. She really likes the sound of that.

“Okay, napping sounds pretty good right now too.”

“Good, because we have about five minutes until I collapse from twelve hours straight of nervous hysteria. Would you mind carrying me to your bedroom?”

She rolls her eyes and shoves him, but also offers him her hand. They soon collapse into Amy’s four-poster bed, quickly pulling the covers over their heads, wriggling around and fighting for space while they giggle like little kids. Amy sleepily leans into him when they’re all settled in, and she’s never felt safer than she does now, being lulled to sleep by the steady rise and fall of his chest.

“We’re getting married.” She whispers reverently, eyelids heavy – she feels his lips gently ghost against the top of her head in response, perhaps subconsciously as if he were made to do it. They drift off, and the last of her anxiety ebbs and flows away as if merely a bad memory.

It’s the best sleep either of them has had for months.

[amyscascadingtabs]

julian santiago and the case of the sister’s mystery boyfriend

so, finally, finally, i finished my assignment for the @b99fandomevents fic exchange! i was assigned @397bartonstreet and i chose to include the prompts 'amy's brother finding out she's dating someone from an instagram post' and 'peraltiago from a third party's perspective'. thank you for the creative prompts and thank you so much for your patience!

read here on ao3

DECEMBER 2014

Julian Santiago considers himself to be pretty close with his only sister. He's only two years older, they've gotten along throughout most of their childhood, and still do today. They're piano portrait buddies, although he accepted a while ago that he’ll always be a little bit closer to the stairs than she is. They shared a room as well as secrets growing up, and she's the first person he tells when he meets his first real boyfriend. Likewise, Julian is the first Santiago brother to learn when Amy gets together with Sergeant Teddy Wells and the first to learn when they break up. They're close, and out of all the seven competitive brothers, Julian likes to think he's the one who knows and understands his sister best.

It's a mystery on multiple levels when he can't figure out how okay she seems about the breakup. His sister, the person who cried for days straight when she broke up with her college boyfriend, his sister who has never been known for taking relationships lightly or being far from tears when she’s going through something, is sitting in their parents’ couch a mere five days after her breakup and seeming fine. She’s laughing and grinning in the most genuine way he recognizes, nodding with surprise when he asks if she’s okay, and Julian understands if she wants to appear strong in front of their hyper-judgmental parents, but this is eerie. She’s too okay. It’s mind-boggling, and either he’s not getting an answer or he’s not asking the right questions, but eventually, he makes the educated guess that there must be someone else in her life. She must have wanted for this to break-up to happen, he figures, and a new mystery lover could very well be the reason. Julian simply has to figure out who it is. 

It doesn’t take him many hours - two, actually - before he has a guess. He’s heard his sister talk about her detective partner, Jake Peralta, before, but this is excessive. It starts with a retelling of some funny anecdote he’s told once, continues with her mentioning how she won over him in a confusing set of games and ends with further repetitions of Jake said this and Jake told me that until Julian is as certain as can be. They're dating, he knows it, but he has to be sure - he has to find some way to dig this secret out of her and be the first of the brothers to know - so he brings it up.

Not in front of everyone, of course. He’s made that mistake before and it ended with Amy being too furious to speak to him for weeks. No, he waits until his dad suggests the siblings go out on a walk while Camila finishes up what is sure to be a delicious roast dinner, and while he’s not by definition alone with his sister, it’s the maximal amount of primacy which can be had during Santiago family gatherings. David and Victor are power-walking fifty feet ahead of anyone else, Luis and his wife Emma are walking thirty feet behind with their three-year-old twins. Tony, Isaac, and Christian are close but too deep in conversation about different kinds of protein powder to listen to anything else, their respective girlfriends are deep in conversation about what Julian thinks is a reality show but might as well be politics, and Simon is trying to keep up with David and Victor while holding a camera in front of his face. It’s chaos, but Julian finally has a chance to have a conversation only with Amy, so he jumps on it.

 “So, that Jake guy, huh?”

“What?” Amy flinches, looking at him like he just started speaking Russian to her. “Why are you bringing him up?”

“You two are definitely dating, huh?”

“What?” She nearly screams this, earning herself a confused glance from everyone nearby, and Julian almost jumps to the side in shock. “What - why are you - what would make you think that?”

“I don’t know”, he shrugs, “maybe because you’re mentioning him once every five minutes?”

“He’s my work partner.”

“Who you talk about constantly.”

“I don’t talk about him constantly!” Amy’s still gaping, nose scrunched and eyes clearly judging him for his apparent stupidity. “That’s - you’re - I don’t.”

“You do, though.”

“I don’t!”

“Sure”, Julian grins. “I know you just want to keep it a secret from mom and dad, that’s fine, but you can tell me.”

“Jake and I aren’t dating!” She’s wheezing her words, looking anxiously around her before lowering her voice further. “We’re not. We’re really not.”

“But you’re… something?”

“He has a girlfriend, Julian.”

“Ohh…” He contemplates this confession, the cogwheels in his brain working and immediately jumping to the next guess. 

Except she wouldn’t. His sister wouldn’t. Or would she?

“Are you, uh -”, he whispers, “are you the other woman?”

“JULIAN!” They’re earning themselves looks and raised eyebrows again, now also from an older lady walking past them. Amy shoots her an apologetic smile before returning to the conversation. “Trust me, I’m not in love with Jake. And even if I like him - it wouldn’t matter.”

“Why wouldn’t it matter?”

“Because I would never date someone I work with, dumbass! It’s unprofessional.”

“You dated that pilsner guy -”

“Teddy and I worked at different precincts. Jake and I work at the same. It would be...” She grimaces. “I don’t know. I just don’t think it would work. Either way, it doesn’t matter because I don’t like him.”

“You’re talking about him a lot, is all I’m saying.”

“Julian”, she says his name like it’s a warning about life and death. “Let. It. Go.”

“Like the Frozen song?”

“You’re hopeless”, Amy declares, walking away from him in a pace so rushed he has to jog to keep up with her. 

“Fine! Fine! You don’t like Jake!”

It pains him as an older brother to give his sister that much privacy when he could be repeatedly teasing her, but Amy’s threatened to beat him up once before and Julian knows from experience his sister is strong. As tempting as it is to do the opposite, he lets it go. 

OCTOBER 2015

Julian doesn’t ask his sister more questions about her love life for the year that passes by. Jake the work partner must still be dating someone else, seeing how Amy steers clear of him bringing up for the next months. Whether she has feelings for the guy or not, Julian’s still unsure, but asking seems to do no good and eventually, he gives up.

He can’t shake the suspicion that she’s dating someone else, though. Every time they meet up that summer, Amy is in a better mood than ever. She’s practically glowing every time someone asks her how she’s been, laughing and participating in every conversation even when she says she’s tired from work, and there seems to be an air of confidence and happiness around her that he’s not seen since his sister was promoted to Detective. Whatever - or whoever - is causing it, Julian can’t help but be happy for her. She still mentions Jake now and then, but nowhere near the frequency she once did; whatever unrequited crush was once there, he figures it must have calmed down. 

In the end, Julian doesn’t give much thought to the possible mystery boyfriend. If it was serious, Amy would surely tell them, or at least tell him. Therefore, it comes as a pure shock when a late October evening, his half-hearted Instagram scrolling leads to a major discovery. 

Julian recently moved in with his boyfriend of five months - Lucas - and while he usually doesn’t have as much time to spend on social media as he’d like, he’s found that during an episode of Game of Thrones is his best shot. Lucas is too into the show to care what Julian does as long as he can rest his head on Julian’s shoulder and have his hair played with, and the episodes are long enough for Julian to thoroughly go through his own Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram feeds. So thoroughly, in fact, that sometimes he has time to go down the rabbit hole of random accounts and comments discussing Broadway shows or veganism, or simply do some benevolent stalking of his loved ones. Go through what accounts his sister follows, for example, and see if there’s anything juicy there she’s not telling him during their weekly phone calls. 

There are a lot of inspirational accounts about books and studying, even an account that seems to be centered specifically around laminated documents. She dutifully follows simon_says- the Instagram created by their youngest brother to advertise the supposedly successful YouTube channel no family member truly understands the point of - as well as a bunch of her friends from college and what seems to be every single Santiago family member who has social media. She follows a single account for a handmade jewelry store that Julian quickly scrolls through, and then she follows her co-workers.

Jake Peralta’s Instagram is frequently updated. Mostly with quirky selfies of himself, but also with pictures of chicken wings, Taylor Swift records, and pictures taken together with a short-grown man in beige clothing tagged as charles-foodie-boyle. He’s posted a single selfie in which Amy appears as well, grimacing behind her desk, but Julian doesn’t make anything of it. Considering there’s a twenty-to-one ratio of pictures Charles is tagged in versus pictures Amy is tagged in, he would almost consider it more likely that Jake’s dating him. He checks out Charles Instagram, simply out of curiosity. That’s when the heart attack occurs.

Charles Boyle posted a picture merely an hour ago. It’s taken in a gruff-looking bar, the lighting a little dim and the details a little out of focus, but he can see the three people in it clear as day. Charles is in the front of the picture, smiling enthusiastically and doing a thumbs up, but Julian’s attention is drawn to what’s happening in the background. His sister, wearing a purple blouse he’s seen at many a family dinners and her hair up, is pictured kissing the one and only Jake Peralta.

Julian has never been so angry about an application lacking a zoom function before. Not that he needs it; it’s clearly his sister and it’s clearly Jake Peralta, he’s looked at the man’s face in enough selfies to be certain, and they’re clearly kissing. She even has a hand on his shoulder, displaying more PDA than Julian had ever thought his sister was physically capable of. There are two beers next to them on the bar table, but it’s a work night and Amy’s not the type to get black-out drunk on weeknights. Not black-out drunk enough to be kissing random people. No, Julian has to get the bottom of this, and he has to get to the bottom of this now. 

“Lucas?”

“Yeah?” His boyfriend’s voice is distant, his green eyes focused on their television screen.

“I have to make a phone call. Family emergency.”

“Okay,” Lucas mumbles, squeezing Julian’s knee when he disentangles himself and leaves for their bedroom. “Be back soon?”

“I promise!” He half-shouts, unsure if he’ll be able to stick to the wording of soon. He has a lot of questions for the person he’s about to call, and he’s still formulating most of them in his head as his phone searches for and calls up Amy Santiago.

She answers after three signals. She must still be at the bar, he judges from the odd clinking glass and the muffled conversations in the background, and there’s a confused tone to her voice when she speaks.

“Julian? Did anything happen? Is there an emergency of some kind?”

You bet there’s an emergency, he wants to say. You not telling us about your dating life. 

“You’re dating Jake Peralta, aren’t you?”

There’s silence on the other end of the phone. Then, a yet more confused, but also curious, voice.

“How on Earth did you figure that out?”

“I, uh, Instagram-stalked you,” he admits, somewhat sheepishly. “I was bored, and I.. I went onto Charles Boyle’s account? He had a picture of you and Jake, that he posted like an hour ago. You two were… kissing.”

Yet more silence, then a loud and angry statement, shouted at someone else on the other side. 

(“Charles! I’m going to kill you!”

“Ames, why are you killing Charles this time?”)

“Sorry,” she says when she returns to the phone, not with as much background noise now; she must have walked a bit away. “I’ll yell at him later. But yeah - uh - it’s true, I guess.”

“So you’re dating?”

Amy sighs. “Please don’t tell mom about it. You know how she is about everyone I date.”

“Yeah, yeah, you don’t have to remind me twice,” he assures her, “but now tell me everything. How long have you been dating?”

“A little over four months,” she admits. “I mean, I almost thought it was obvious - I feel like I’ve talked about him a lot.”

“You talked even more about him before you were dating!”

“Did I?”

“Yes.”

“Really?”

“Yes. You literally didn’t shut up about him,” Julian snorts, thinking back to when he first questioned her about it on that winter walk. “Either way - I’m… happy for you.”

He can’t see her reaction on the other end of the call, but he has a distinct feeling that she’s smiling, the kind of shy but genuine smile often accompanied by blushing cheeks.

“Thanks, Julian. I’m really happy, too.”

“He’s treating you well and all those things, right?”

“Obviously.”

“Because I’d beat him up otherwise. Or I’d send Tony to do it,” he offers. “Or pay Simon to make a video about him? Point is I’d find a way.”

This makes Amy laugh, a burst of melodic laughter that reminds him of inside jokes and morning cartoons when they were younger.

“I think I’m good, thanks. Jake’s amazing. I can tell you about him over lunch next week?”

“Lunch next week sounds great.”

“Talk to you later?”

“Absolutely. Have a good night, Ames.”

She hangs up on him. After making a single victory gesture in the bedroom mirror, Julian immediately phones Tony to inform him there’s a winner in the bet on whether Amy would ever date a coworker.

JANUARY 2016

Julian meets the famous Jake Peralta for the first time four months later. At that point, he's built up so much curiosity it feels like he's bursting at the seams, itching to actually meet the person he's heard about since the day his sister transferred to the Nine-Nine. He's excited, but he’s also wary. Amy's talked about this guy in every single phone call and meeting he's had with her for the last months, insisting that you’d love him, Julian, I really think you’d get along until Julian had started to question whether she was trying to pair him together with Jake. 

The information Julian has gathered is that Jake is supposedly brilliantly funny with a sweet personality, an amazing detective, worthless at math and basketball and an intense fan of Die Hard and Taylor Swift. (The last piece of information, Julian’s gathered on his own through more professional brotherly Instagram stalking. It’s the same method he’s used to discover that Amy doesn’t, for once, have horrible taste; Jake Peralta actually is cute when he’s not grimacing in pictures. Not Julian’s type, but cute.)

It’s overwhelmingly positive information. Then again, Amy described Teddy Wells with nearly as many positive adjectives to a beginning, and the hours Julian spent listening to that man talk about pilsners are hours he’ll never get back. Therefore, it’s a positive surprise when Jake shows up to the casual siblings-and-partners dinner and lives up to Amy’s description.

He’s far more handsome in person than his Instagram feed makes him out to be, which Lucas seconds before mentioning to Julian that someone should give Jake a proper lesson in taking non-quirky selfies. As a service to the world, he says, and Julian punches him in the shoulder before agreeing.

Jake is visibly nervous to meet so many of the brothers at the same time, seeming tense and giving short replies to a beginning, but once he relaxes, Julian is fully prepared to agree with his sister - Jake is funny. He’s genuine, a natural in conversations, and he chimes in with the jokes or comments no one else would think of. He’s effortlessly nice, almost remembers every different brother’s name, and it’s clear that he meets the most obligatory criteria; he makes Amy happier than Julian’s seen her in a long time. She’s almost shining, grinning and laughing and watching her boyfriend with a gaze so enamored it would have made Julian nauseous if it had been anyone else. He later catches Jake looking at her in the exact same way.

The new couple sticks together for the duration of the evening, never leaving each other’s side for more than a couple minutes. It doesn’t even seem like they’re thinking of it but simply gravitate towards each other without a second thought, seeming displaced once the other one leaves. Julian watches them share secret smiles, looks and squeezes of hands without having a clue what the two of them are communicating, only that they seem to be checking in with each other, speaking a sort of private language. It’s all kinds of cheesy and it’s all the lovey-dovey-ness he can stomach for a day when he can see them kiss through the window the moment they’ve left, but he loves his sister, so he lets her be. He’s happy for her.

NOVEMBER 2017

Because Julian now follows Charles Boyle on Instagram, he finds out about the engagement through an excessive number of insta-stories the moment he wakes up on November 1st, 2017. Amy doesn’t answer her phone for a full three hours after Julian’s first tried to reach her (he does not want to know why), but when she does, she facetimes him on his lunch break to show off the ring and tell the slightly insane story of how the proposal went down. 

The proposal follows almost immediately upon Jake’s release from prison. Even before that, the couple had already spent six months apart while he was in witness protection and Amy told all her brothers they were broken up but whispered the truth into Julian’s ear late at night after a couple of glasses of wine. From the stories Amy’s told him, he’s wondered more than once how many more brutal hurdles this couple will have to face, and it’s with great happiness he congratulates her on the engagement. She deserves this. Jake deserves this, they deserve this, and he couldn’t be happier for them.

“So I win the craziest engagement for the year,” Amy brags when she’s told him everything, and Julian has to agree that she does. Then he starts sketching up plans for a private two-person heist he can surprise Lucas with. 

MAY 2018

Julian isn’t at his sister’s wedding. He was going to be, thank you very much, he wasn’t intending to miss it, but apparently, nothing’s ever simple in his sister’s life and a bomb threat interrupts the planned event and sends every member of the Santiago family back to their respective homes and hotel rooms. The actual wedding, he learns, takes place outside their precinct with the couple’s colleagues and a few gawking New Yorkers as witnesses, while the real family has to be happy with an impromptu dinner at a nearby restaurant the next day. 

It's a chaotic dinner. Luis, Christian’s and Isaac’s kids are spilling food and getting overtired, Roger Peralta and Victor are massaging their own shoulders while shooting each other threatening looks, Simon’s filming and there is definitely a hint of competition to every toast held by the bride and groom’s parents. Still, it's pleasant, and there is laughter and smiles all around when the just-married couple tells the story of how their wedding day went down. 

They're almost sickeningly in love, Julian notes, acting like they're part of their own private universe where they can finish each other's sentences and give each other glances that he supposes are meant to be secretive but definitely isn't. They were only a couple of minutes early to the dinner - late in Santiago measurements - and the buttons on Jake’s shirt were clearly buttoned in a haste. Julian loves his little sister and all, but he did not need to think about that image of her.

In the end, he's happy if she's happy, and just-married Amy is by far the happiest Amy he's seen in his life. She barely listens when he tells her he and Lucas are leaving, watching Jake with googly heart-eyes as he's telling Tony some story and glancing back at Amy about every tenth second. 

It's what she deserves. As much as he doubts any man could ever be good enough for her, the way Jake watches Amy with awe every time she speaks is everything Julian could ever wish for his sister.

[gretavanfleetposts]

Hii I’m somewhat new to the fandom and ur blog really helped me dive deeper and so I’m here for a ship submission ✨

My name is Isabella and I’m almost twenty one. I’m non binary and I’m comfortable with all pronouns (I usually just tell people to use whatever makes them comfortable although I tend to use she/her more frequently out of habit) Im a gemini sun, sagittarius rising and taurus moon (I have no idea what my chart says about me lol but just in case?) I’m half indigenous Brazilian and half Dutch; I grew up in Rio, surrounded by waterfalls and concrete jungle. I now live in the Netherlands and I’m majoring in Art & Design

Physically I am a brunette and have a natural wolf cut (I shaved my head back in ‘20); my eyes are the colour of amber and I have one eyebrow piercing and two nose piercings and unfortunately my dad’s colonising blood was too strong and am as pale as Bella Swan lol I’d describe myself as plus size and overall I’m pretty confident over myself although I do hate on my tummy from time to time but I think I have great 🍒 and a good 🍑

I don’t really have a particular style; it really depends on the day. Today I’m wearing a black turtleneck and faded black jeans stained with acrylic paint and whatnot; yesterday I was wearing dark brown bell pants, deep blue tunic with white embroidery, big fluffy faux fur coat with a cheetah print and sandals (because the cold can’t and won’t stop me from showing my cute ankle/foot tattoos)

I’m romantically and musically very fluid, I love everyone and everything 😌 From GVF to Eminem, One Direction, Iron Maiden, Stray Kids, Pierce the Veil, Nina Simone — I could go on and on 😮‍💨

I collect cd’s and vinyls, crystals and books. I write poetry and paint in my free time. I’m obsessed with Greek mythology and even got Atlas tattooed at the back of my left arm. I love going on long hikes and I love to explore. Feel the dirt between my toes and the small stones under my heels

Although I suck at it, I love to dance to Brazilian folk music — especially if I’m zooted lmao. I love being surrounded by kids (I have more nephews and godchildren than I can count) and I honestly can’t wait to start my own family ugh<3 Sadly I don’t have any pets but my favourite animal is the Humpback Whale 🐋✨ (I want to get a dog as soon as I can 😔🙏🏻)

For a first date — no idea. I think I’d like to keep it simple; maybe go to a market to get some food and maybe some trinkets and then go to a lake to swim or something. Cooking together and making playlists for each other sounds good to idk

Anyway sorry for writing so much I got carried away lol thank you for taking your time to read all of this <3

Hello there! It means so much to me that you found something from our blog! I will gladly write you a ship. (And please, never apologizing for writing so much. I love getting to know all of you)

I ship you with Jake!

You give me edgy Josh vibes. You seem so sweet and so open and like you're totally not afraid to be yourself. And I think that's something Jake would really love. Like, I think he would love the parts of you that are creative and kind but also there would be so much more there to get to know. I think your music taste would really open him up to a lot of things he hasn't given a chance before. And he would probably love to watch you dance. He might even let you teach him how if he's had enough alcohol. I'm picturing the two of you having an amazing time together getting lost out in nature. Or searching around different record stores for a particular record. And then coming home and cooking together and just enjoying each other's company.

- ⭐

[drneilfox]

Music Films Book Blog 2 (November 2020)

Month two is out of the way and it felt very different.

I finished drafting my chapter on Geographies on Sunday November 8th. This made me feel good about the writing part drifting into the following month. In hindsight watching as many films as I am and drafting the chapters in the same month was never going to work. My insane workload at work and the impending uncertainty and (welcome) disruption of Christmas means I have put watching on hold until January so in December I will be writing and catching a couple from my December watchlist that I tracked down late.

On that note it was a rewarding month of watching films where I had reached out to filmmakers and archives to see work. I emailed two filmmakers and one archive and managed to get positive responses to all the requests and the all films were rich texts that will provide real value to the work, I believe. I also reached out via a friend for one film, when I realised that it wasn’t available in my territory, and that came off wonderfully too. So thanks to Johnny Fewings for sorting that out. The film in question was Bayou Maharajah about James Booker and it’s great. Booker recorded a track called Gonzo that a dear friend of mine bought me on 7” because of my affection for the Hunter S. Thompson iteration of the word, including calling myself Dr Gonzo when I used to DJ. So it was lovely to learn in the film of how much HST loved that song too and drew on it for inspiration when the Gonzo ethos was percolating.

These personal connections bubbled up all across the month. Re-watching some of the films I was viscerally taken back to my first viewings of them. I remember staying with my friend Kingsley when I first moved to Cornwall to take up my job at Falmouth University. It was while sleeping on his floor that I saw the A Tribe Called Quest documentary Beats, Rhymes and Life. Then there was the film Milford Graves Full Mantis that I had seen Ashley Clark extolling the virtues of online, so I grabbed the chance to talk to the director Jake Meginsky for the Quietus when the film had its UK premiere at Sheffield Doc/Fest. Jake has since become a friend and we screened his film, one I think is a masterpiece, at the 2019 Filmstock Festival in Luton. Re-watching the Nina Simone doc and its focus on the song My Baby Just Cares For Me reminded me (again, as it did first time) of discovering Nina’s music through that song on the cassette of the compilation Now That’s What I Call Music! 10. So many sense memories this month.

Another was remembering my visit to Harvard’s Hip Hop archive in 2015, when attending a conference in Boston. I learned of the Harvard archive from the Nas film Time Is Illmatic. Revisiting that film brought back memories of that wonderful trip, one that helped shape a paper I later gave and will no doubt shape the Nas aspect of this chapter and the book as a whole. Finally on this note, I finally caught the Syl Johnson documentary - Syl Johnson: Anyway The Wind Blows. This was a film that I reached out to the filmmaker to see and was grateful that they responded positively. I picked up the flyer for the film in New York in 2015, same trip as the Harvard one I believe. The film was playing at DocNYC and though I wasn’t in town for the screening I carried the flyer home and have looked at it a lot, knowing one day I would watch it for this book and that moment came last month. It was special. Then in Scratch, Beck’s DJ - DJ Swamp turns up. The film was made in 2000, the same year I saw Beck at Leeds Festival, where he gave over a good portion of his set to the mad turntablist skills of DJ Swamp.

Things I’ve learned that I am hoping to think about more and put into this chapter as I write it -

So few films about black music elicit the opinions of Black critics and writers. This is really apparent watching so many in a row, and feels like a real problem.

The wealth of archive material of Black American artists in Europe, particularly later in their careers, vastly outstrips US based material. This corresponds, in some way, to the amount of films about Black American musicians that originate in Europe or from European filmmakers.

Dave Chappelle’s Block Party contains two of the most joyous and exhilarating moments in music documentary. Read the book to find out what they are.

And, a very important shout out to Bailey, my beloved companion, who has snoozed on his bed with me pretty much all month through every viewing, and there were a lot this month. It’s been wonderful watching and rewatching this work in his company.

Here’s what I was listening to while writing in November -

Don’t forget you can listen in to my book themed playlist here.

You can also see what I am (re)watching, in order, here as well.

Finally, a bit of fun. Here are my favourite notes from this month’s viewing sessions:

Doo Wop on the Corner

Leans into the Sex

The Key went to the Moon

Bewildered Traffic Cop

“We work on the other side of time”

“The people have no music that is in coordination with their spirits. They are out of tune with the Universe”

Shirley loves Felix the Cat

Cold Turkey in Philly

Secret Black Technology

Carl Craig on Kraftwerk

“It starts in darkness”

“All City”

“We shook up the World!”

William Klein + Brakhage

Haloed by sunset lens flare. Perfect

“What I do is Blues-y”

The House that Wu built

Survivor’s Guilt

“The essence of creativity is the newness of things”

Belafonte, MLK, Baldwin, Sammy Davis Jr, Poitier, Langston Hughes

Anger shifted her octave

I Am. I Be

Experimental plant sequence

Can I get a Red X in the printed book?

The hug

Lives with his Mum still. Cute

Prayer circle like D’Angelo

He called Harry Connick Jr for help when H.C.J was 12yrs old.

[nobodiesheartlessshitblog45]

Halloween With The Vega Family (also walking dead spoilers

It was Halloween night and re Vega House hold Coal and Ernest were getting ready to take Mickie trick or treating.

Mickie: (wearing a Spiderman costume) Daddy! Ewest! Candy!

Ernest: We're coming, baby bro. (dressed up as a Zombie)

Hugo: (smiles when sees his boys all dressed up) Aww, Hold on I'm gonna get a picture of us.

Ernest: Dad, no. You took like million before.

Coal: (comes walking out, dressed up as Negan from the Walking Dead) Ready, boys?

Mickie: (jumps up-and-down excitedly) Twick or tweet. Did I say right?

Hugo: OhMYGod!Mickie say that again, that was too adorable! (starts recording wit phone)

Coal: (grabs a plastic and tires to a Negan impression) Oh, I don't know about you, but I'm ready for good ol trick and treatin, bashin' in some mother... (looks at Mickie) freakin skulls. (smirks)

Ernest: You know, you would like twice is badass you had the actual Lucille. And were taller. (smirks)

Coal: (gives him a playful punch on the shoulder) Ha. Funny. (looks Hugo) You sure you don't to come trick-or-treating with us?

Hugo: No, I'm going relax, and watch the New Walking Dead episode. So excited.

Ernest: Pretty awesome so far.

Hugo: Great and no one dies right?

Coal and Ernest: No for the last damn time.

Hugo: Okay, have fun. (Kisses Mickie, Coal and was about to kiss Ernest)

Ernest: Daaaaad! I'm too old for that!

Hugo: Awww, but you always be baby boy~ (smiles and his son)

Ernest: Okay, I'm outta here. C'mon, Mickie. (takes Mickie by the had, and walks outside)

Coal: Well, we're headin'. Are you sure you don't wanna come along?

Hugo: Yeah, I need some alone time. Just have fun, and be careful.

Coal: Alright. Enjoy down time. We'll be home around 8. (kisses him, and walks out)

Hugo: Finally. (walks into the living room and turns on the TV) Get to watch the season The Walking Dead~.

A few hours later...

Ernest and Coal came walking into the house with Mickie passed out in his arms.

Ernest: I'm going to tell Dad I'm spending the night at Jake's house.

Coal: Okay. (heads upstairs to Mickie to bed)

Ernest walks into the living room and sees Hugo sitting on the couch with a book and a Cup of tea.

Coal comes walking in.

Hugo: Of course sleepover at Jake Lee's house.

I can drive you if you want, Ernest.

Ernest: No, Jake's dad is on his way. (walk out the living room)

Coal: Have fun. (walks over and sits down next to Hugo)

Hugo: (hugs him) How was trick-or-treating?

Coal: Fun. Mickie is all tired out and in bed. Did you watch the New episode.

Hugo: Yeah, and ... If Gabriel dies... ... I may cry. Honestly who would risk their lives the shit stain Gregory. Hell Maggie saved his ass and she's pregnant. I think out of everyone I hate Simon and Greg.

Coal: Who do you thinks gonna die?

Hugo: Coal, Sweetheart, I love you very much, but I'm not ready for that.

They sat there for a while and Coal smirks.

Coal: You know, Hugo, Mickie's a sleep and Ernest is gone for the rest of the night... (smiles)

Hugo: ... (smirks back)

So they got extra comfortable on the couch together and and started binge watching Walking Dead episodes.

Hugo lying his head Coal's lap.

Hugo: Wow. First season still hold up really well.

Coal: Yeah, it really does.

[oneofus-islying-blog]

Who is really guilty?

From now on I will be focusing on the character of Bronwyn Rojas.

A few days after Simon’s death, police keeps on investigating and our characters are grieving.

A few tumblr posts pop up from an anonymous writer, which turns out to be the killer. The first one says how they have been planning Simon’s death for quite a while, and how they got the “inspiration” and perfect smoke curtain: everyone at Bayview High wanted Simon dead.

The second post reveals something else, more intriguing. The one responsible for Simon’s death saw him die. This points at one of the other four teenagers who were in the room, too.

(x)

Bronwyn Rojas is a scholar, she is the top of her class and Yale bound. She has good grades and has never failed a subject in her life. Although she did get close to. Let’s just say, chemistry was a hard “challenge” for Bronwyn to tackle.

Months prior Bronwyn had been using a computer in the library and found that the Google Drive of Mr. Camino, the chemistry teacher, was open, and with it, all the tests and homework for the rest of the year. Our girl Bronwyn decided to copy the documents in a flash drive and then used it for months afterwards to get a good grade. A stain in an otherwise spotless record.

(x)

It was after Simon’s funeral a that detective from the case approached Bronwyn and took her, along with her parents, to the police station to make her a few more question about that day. The detective showed her an unpublished article on About That, Simon’s gossip page. It was the article the teenager was supposed to publish the day of the tragedy.

 First time this app has ever featured good-girl BR, possessor of school’s most perfect academic

record. Except she didn’t get that A in chemistry through plain old hard work, unless that’s how

you define stealing tests from Mr. C’s Google Drive. Someone call Yale ....

On the opposite end of the spectrum, our favorite criminal NM’s back to doing what he does

best: making sure the entire school is as high as it wants to be. Pretty sure that’s probation

violation there, N.

MLB plus CC equals a whole lot of green next June, right? Seems inevitable Bayview’s

southpaw will make a splash in the major leagues ... but don’t they have some pretty strict

antijuicing rules? Because CC’s performance was most definitely enhanced during showcase

season.

AP and JR are the perfect couple. Homecoming princess and star running back, in love forthree years straight. Except for that intimate detour A took over the summer with TF at hisbeach house. Even more awkward now that the guys are friends. Think they compare notes?. (One of Us is Lying, page 60)

   Everyone in detention that day was about to be exposed and everyone had a reason to want Simon dead. This makes everyone look guilty, maybe it was a group murder.

(x)

  On their way home, after what happened in the station, Bronwyn was going over on what had happened.  How did Simon know she cheated? Why didn’t he exposed this earlier? What she had done happened months ago, why bring this to light now? What would happen with Yale if this ever gets published? She is also ashamed of cheating and confesses to her parents. They are disappointed on her, but not more than she is of herself.

Names mentioned on the blog

BR: Bronwyn Rojas

Mr. C: Mr. Camino

NM: Nate Macaulay (the bad boy)

MLB: ???

CC: Cooper Clayton (the jock)

AP: Addy Prentis (the popular girl)

JR: Jake (Addy's boyfriend)

TF: TJ (Jake's best friend)

[weekendwarriorblog]

WHAT TO WATCH THIS WEEEKEND MARCH 8, 2019 – CAPTAIN MARVEL!!!

 This is a big weekend for Marvel Studios, as they release their first superhero movie with a female protagonist -- not counting Elektra (thanks for the laugh, Max Evry!) -- and the question is not whether it will make $100 million this weekend but how much MORE than $100 million it will be making this weekend. But that’s a question to be answered over at my gig at The Beat and it will be answered in about an hour...

CAPTAIN MARVEL (Marvel Studios/Disney)

Directed by Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck (Half Nelson, Sugar, Mississippi Grind) Written by Boden, Fleck and Geneva Robertson-Dworet Cast: Brie Larson, Samuel L. Jackson, Jude Law, Ben Mendelsohn, Djimon Hounsou, Lee Pace, Annette Bening, Gemma Chan, McKenna Grace, Lashana Lynch, Clark Gregg MPAA Rating: PG-13

I’m not sure how much more I have to say about the latest Marvel movie after writing about it extensively for The Beat. (You are reading my Box Office Preview there for all the stuff you used to read in this column about the wide releases, right?)

I am greatly looking forward to seeing this on Thursday night for a number of reasons and none of them are due to “old white man hater” Brie Larson, who I used to have respect for until she decided to attack me and my livelihood and ability to get work.

That said, I’ve been waiting for directors Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck to break out and do a big studio movie for many years, as I’ve been a fan of theirs since Half Nelson and have spoken to them a number of times including one of my favorites of theirs, the road trip movie Mississippi Grind, starring Ryan Reynolds and Ben Mendelsohn, who played a much nicer and more sympathetic role in that then he has portraying the villain in many studio movies since then.

I’m also looking forward to Captain Marvel since it introduces to the MCU the idea of the alien races, the Kree and the Skrulls, who have played such a large part in some of my favorite Marvel Comics storylines, including the “Kree-Skrull War” from The Avengers, which certainly could be something being set up in the MCU. I also loved the Skrulls as Fantastic Four villains, and here’s hoping that with the new Disney-Fox merger, we might actually see a GOOD Fantastic Four movie one of these days (or a crossover with Avengers even!)

Anyway, we’ll see whether I feel like writing a review for this on Friday after seeing it on Thursday night, but it’s really tough to be fair and impartial when the star of a movie has already gone out of her way to write you off, due to your gender, race and age.

More importantly, let’s get to some…

LIMITED RELEASES

One of the best movie out this weekend is Oscar-winning Chilean filmmaker Sebastian Lelio’s new movie GLORIA BELL (A24), starring Julianne Moore. A remake of his 2013 Spanish language film Gloria, the filmmaker behind A Fantastic Woman makes his English language debut with Moore playing the title character, a lonely older woman dealing with family issues who goes out dancing on Friday nights in hoping of meeting men. On one such night she meets John Turturro’s Arnold, and the two of them fall into a romance that runs into issues when he finally meets her kids and ex-husband (Brad Garrett).  Although I never did see Gloria, I was pretty blown away by how Lelio told this story, and Moore gives one of the best performances of her career – YES, MUCH better than her Oscar-winning turn in Still Alice. I know that A24 brought the movie to TIFF last year, but for whatever reason, they decided to hold it until March… just like Brie Larson’s Free Fire, ironically enough. Personally, I think Moore has a real chance at another Oscar nomination, but having a movie released so early in the year will make it tough, sadly. I was really able to relate to this movie more than I thought I would but mainly to Turturro’s character.

Another film worth seeking out is Vincent D’Onofrio’s second film as a director, the Western THE KID (Lionsgate), as in “Billy the Kid,” played by Dane DeHaan. The “kid” in the title is also teenager Rio, played by Jake Schur, who is on the run with his sister (Leila George) trying to get away from their abusive uncle (played by Chris Pratt!) Along the way, they meet Billy the Kid, as well as Sheriff Pat Garrett, who has been sent to capture and try Billy.  It’s opening in 250 theaters on Friday, so it won’t be too hard to find, and I’d love to say more wonderful things about it, but I’ve been embargoed. I hope to have an interview with D’Onofrio soon over on The Beat!

Another film worth seeking out is 3 FACES (Kino Lorber), the new film from Iranian filmmaker Jafar Panahi (The Circle, Offside), who has been banned from making films in his home country but continues to find a way to make films anyway. This one received an award for Best Screenplay at Cannes last year and has played Toronto and New York Film Festivals before opening at the IFC Centeron Friday. Panahi also stars in this drama along with Iranian actor Behnaz Jafari, as they go on a road trip to help a girl whose family has forbidden her from attending a drama school in Tehran, encountering various people along the way. The film continues Panahi’s exploration of combining his personal life with dramatic storytelling in the real world, which I haven’t really enjoyed as much as his straight dramas.

Opening at Metrograph is Black Mother (Grasshopper Films), the new cinema verité doc from filmmaker and photographer Khalik Allah (Field Niggas), which combines portraits of denizens of Jamaica shot on 16mm and HD with audio recordings of them talking about life in Jamaica. It’s a really beautiful film, and this is from someone who generally doesn’t care for cinema verité docs, but this really is a compelling film that’s worth seeing.

Oscar winner J.K. Simmons stars in his wife Michelle Schumacher’s second film I’m Not Here (Gravitas Ventures) playing Steve, as a lonely man who is haunted by memories of his past locked into the objects and sounds around his house. The film also stars Sebastian Stan, Mandy Moore, Max Greenfield, David Koechner and Harold Perrineau, and it opens at New York’s Village East, Los Angele’s Laemmle Monica and in other select cities this Friday. (Simmons and Schumacher will be at the Laemmle for a QnA on Sunday evening.)

Opening at New York’s Quad Cinema Friday is Giacomo Durzi’s doc Ferrante Fever (Greenwich) about novelist Elena Ferrante, who has made waves both in Italy and in America, thanks to a few independent publishers.

Gabrielle Brady’s directorial debut Island of the Hungry Ghosts, winner of Best Documentary at last year’s Tribeca Film Festival, will open at Astoria’s Museum of the Moving Image. It focuses on the residents of Christmas Island off the coast of Indonesia where asylum seekers are held in a high-security detention center and counseled by trauma therapist Poh Lin Lee.

Since I haven’t had a chance to see JC (All Is Lost, Margin Call) Chandor’s new movie Triple Frontier, starring Ben Affleck, Oscar Isaac, Charlie Hunnam, Garrett Hedlund and Pedro Pascal (Narcos) as Special Forces operatives planning a South American heist, I don’t have much to say about it, although I’m sold based on the premise alone. It’s opening In New York and L.A. on Wednesday in single theaters in both places (Sorry, Steven Spielberg!) but it will stream on Netflix a week later on March 13. Maybe I’ll write more about it next week. Maybe not.

Opening at the Film Society of Lincoln Center is the late Hu Bo’s An Elephant Sitting Still (KimStim) which played at New Directors/New Films in 2018.  It involves a teenager who accidentally injures a bully and interacts with various people who are dealing with their own burdens. Actor Zhang Yu will be making appearances before and after screenings including a reception before the 6:30pm screening on Friday.

This week’s Bollywood offering is Sujoy Ghosh’s BADLA (Reliance Entertainment), starring Taapsee Pannu as a young entrepreneur who is locked in a hotel room with the body of her deadl lover, so she calls upon a prestigious lawyer (Bollywood vet Amitabh Bachchan) to figure out how she ended up in that predicament.

REPERTORY

METROGRAPH (NYC):

Ringo Lam X3 continues through the weekend, while Raul Peck X2continues with a screening of Murder in Pacot  (2014) on Saturday. This week’s Late Nites at Metrograph  is Fassbinder’s Love is Cooler than Death (1969), and the weekend’s Playtime: Family Matinees is 1982’s The Last Unicorn, an animated film from Rankin and Bass that was co-created by the Japanese anime studio Topcraft, who went on to form Studio Ghibli – you’ve probably heard of them. The voice cast includes Mia Farrow, Alan Arkin, Jeff Bridges, Angela Lansbury and Christopher Lee, and it’s probably a bit of a lost classic.

THE NEW BEVERLY (L.A.):

Weds and Thursday is the Billy Dee Williams cop double feature The Take  (1974) and Nighthawks (1981), and then on Friday and Saturday, the Bev double features One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest  (1975) and Arthur Hiller’s The Crazy World of Julius Vrooder (1974) (a movie I’ve never even heard of!). Sunday and Monday’s double feature is two Paul Wendkos films, The Case Against Brooklyn and Tarawa Beachhead, both from 1958. On Saturday and Sunday, the Kiddee Matinee is the Australian horse movie Phar Lap  (1983) while the midnight offerings this weekend are Kill Bill Vol. 2 on Friday and The Groove Tubeon Saturday. Grindhouse Tuesday is back with the “Bruce Li” double feature of Soul Brothers of Kung Fu  (1977) and The Image of Bruce Lee  (1978), movies made after Bruce Lee’s death.  (If I lived in L.A., this is where I would be on Tuesday night.) The high school comedy classic Clueless (1995) will screen on Tuesday, as well.

FILM FORUM (NYC):

Starting this weekend, the Greenwich Village theater presents a new 4k restoration of Jack Clayton’s 1959 film Room at the Top, which won Oscars for screenplay and actress Simone Signoret and was nominated for Picture, Director, Actor and Supporting Actress (for Hermione Baddeley’s 2.5 minute appearance in the film). It’s about a working-class guy who sets his sights on the daughter of the boss.The weekend’s Film Forum Jr. is Joe Dante’s 1993 film Matinee, starring John Goodman. Also, author David Thomson will present a screening of Joseph Losey’s 1963 film The Servant on Sunday.

MOMA (NYC):

New month, new Modern Matinees series and for the next two months, it’s a doozy with Modern Matinees: B is for Bacall, showcasing the fabulous filmography of Oscar-nominated actor Laure Bacall. This week, they’re screening the 1954 film Woman’s Worldon Wednesday, Howard Hawks’ The Big Sleep (1946) on Thursday and 1947’s Dark Passages on Friday. (Note that most of these movies will be rescreened later in the series in case you miss them this week.) Also this week is the series William Fox Presents More Restorations and Rediscoveries from the Fox Film Corporation, which features lots of movie from the ‘20s and ‘30s, many of them accompanied with live piano. Wednesday is Hangman’s House from 1928 and 1920’s Just Palsand Friday is 1929’s The Cock-Eyed World and Me and My Gal (1932), and there’s more on Saturday, Sunday and next week.  This is a busy time for MOMA as they’re also presenting Carte Blanche: Mariette Rissenbeek on German Women Cinematographers, which mostly features films from the last 15 years but many which never have received U.S. theatrical releases.

EGYPTIAN THEATRE (LA)

Big weekend for Albert Finney fans as Albert Finney Remembered presents a few fantastic double features including Two for the Road  (1967) and Alan Parker’s Shoot the Moon (1982) on Thursday, the Coens’ Miller’s Crossing  (1990) and John Huston’s Under the Volcano  (1984) on Friday and Tom Jones (1963) and Tim Burton’s Big Fish (2003) on Sunday. The Egyptian’s big event for the weekend is the 7-movie day-long Boris Karloff-Bela Lugosi Movie Marathonon Saturday, which will include Frankenstein, Dracula but some lesser-seen classics like The Raven (1935) and more. If I lived in L.A., this is where I would be on Saturday.

AERO  (LA):

The AERO continues its Hitchcock, Truffaut and Jones series with double features Hitchcock’s The Man Who Knew Too Much  (1956) and Truffaut’s 1968 film The Bride Wore Black (which I’ve actually seen fairly recently!) on Friday, and Rear Window  (1954)and Mississippi Mermaid (1969) on Saturday. The theater will also have an all-day screening of Sergey Bondarchuk’s 7-hour epic adaptation of War and Peace  (1967) in four parts with two brief intermissions.

QUAD CINEMA (NYC):

The Quad’s still a month away from its 2-year restoration anniversary, but they’re reshowing Bertrand Blier’s Going Places and Luis Bunuel’s Tristana this coming weekend. The former is also part of Amour or Less: A Blier Buffet, a retrospective of the French filmmaker who I’m not even remotely familiar with. (Sorry!) They’re showing eight of Blier’s films before the new 40thanniversary restoration of his 1978 film Get Out Your Hankerchiefs opens on Friday, March 15.

IFC CENTER (NYC)

While Weekend Classics: Early Godard  seems to be taking a weekend off, Waverly Midnights: The Feds  is screening the Wayan Brothers’ White Girls (2004) in a 35mm print! Late Night Favorites takes a break from showing Ridley Scott’s Alien (which celebrates its 40th anniversary this month!) to show David Lynch’s Eraserhead (1977).

BAM CINEMATEK (NYC):

Premiering at BAM on Friday (as well as the Laemmle Glendale in L.A.) is the U.S. premiere of a restoration of Franco Rocco’s 1980 film Babylon, which was banned from the New York Film Festival and never released in the United States. Written by Martin Stellman (Quadrophenia), it stars Brinsley Forde from reggae group Aswad as a dancehall DJ who fights again racism and xenophobia in Thatcher-era London.

MUSEUM OF THE MOVING IMAGE (NYC):

See It Big! Costumes by Edith Head concludes this weekend with screenings of Hitchcock’s The Birds (1963) and Marnie (1964).

LANDMARK THEATRES NUART  (LA):

The Nuart’s Friday midnight screening is George Miller’s Mad Max: Fury Road Black & Chrome Edition (2015).

STREAMING AND CABLE

Season 1 of Ricky Gervais’ new series After Life will debut on  Netflix starting Friday, but there are also a few new movies including Clark Johnson’s Juanita, starring Alfre Woodard as the mother of three who goes on a trip to Montana, plus there’s Conor Allyn’s Walk. Ride. Rodeo., an inspirational drama that tells the true story of Amberley Snyder, played by Spencer Locke from the Resident Evil series, a 19-year-old rodeo rider who barely survives a car crash that leaves her paralyzed from the waist down. So yeah, Netflix is even trying to sidetrack Brie Larson’s Captain Marvel rerelease with other female-led films just like they’re going to try to derail Warners’ Shazam! with Brie Larson’s directorial debut Unicorn Store next month. The struggle continues.

Now available for digital download is Joe Eddy’s Steve McQueen biopic Chasing Bullitt (Vertical), starring Andre Brooks as the legendary actor who in 1971 makes a deal with his agent to let him choose his next acting gig if he finds his Ford Mustang GT 390 from Bullitt. Also available digitally is Dallas King’s action-thriller Kiss Kiss (Cleopatra Entertainment) that follows four strippers who go to a wine tasting that turns into a female fight night. I didn’t make this movie up, but apparently, it’s counter-programming to Captain Marvel.

LOCAL FESTIVALS

On Thursday, the Museum of the Moving Image is presenting the 6thannual Philip K. Dick Science Fiction Film Festival with two programs of short films. Also on Thursday, the IFC Center will kick off Canada Now 2019 with Nicholas de Pencier and Edward Burtynsky’s new doc Anthropocene: The Human Epoch, another globe-crossing from the duo behind Manufactured Landscapes. There will also be other Canadian films that have played in various film festivals north of the border.

Oh, yeah, also South by Southwest is happening in Austin, but I’m not going, so…

That’s it for this week. Next week, Captain Marvel will probably be #1 again, but there are a few other movies hoping at least for second place.

[challengersvschampions]

Episode 1 — “I’m Not a Patient Person” (Eddie)

Wow, it's like you guys literally tried your hardest to fuck me over.

ok so yall just opened the confessionals up but dont hate me for the book I'm about to write, the confessional is literally my home away from home and the only reason I'm recognizable enough to come back in the first place ajdfs *record scratch* *freeze frame* Yup, that's me. You're probably wondering how I ended up in this situation. And to that I say....GIRL ME TOO TF. I can NOT believe I'm back and playing tumblr survivor again, the last time I played this everyone wanted to attack me, burn me like a witch, you name it. a MESS is what it was. But whatever, I'm an attention seeking drama thirsty whore so I'm back for more. Last time I played this game I think I did play a really good game, I didn't do much, because I didn't have to, and I was never a target, and I only ever got 2 votes cast against me, with only winning individual immunity once. Now back then, I was definitely in over my head and thought I was doing a lot more than that which is one of the several reasons I lost at final tribal. My game then depended a lot on luck and intuition, but this time around I want to prove that I can do more than just rely on the odds. I want to prove that I am a boneified survivor player, because I am one. This time I'm gonna put more effort into having a solid social game and try not to just fade in the background as much, however, since it worked for me before maybe I'll do a little of that too just with more umph. Anyway, as far as this cast goes, I was definitely worried about pre-existing relationships playing a factor in this game....and then I look on my tribe and  WHO do i see? JAKE. JAKE JAKE JAKE. AND ON THE OTHER TRIBE??? JESSY. GORL. WE INVENTED PRE-EXISTING RELATIONSHIPS!!!! Not only were they my hosts on egypt, but the only reason im apart of this community and did egypt was because we knew each other way before then. They were some of the first people I ever met on tumblr and talked to and they know exactly what I'm capable based on games we've played in the past together. Which is both good and bad...good because maybe I can try to get them to work with me by just playing up the whole "omg reunited!! yay!!" angle, but bad because they know just how dangerous I am and if they're smart they'll get me out as soon as possible, but honestly, I would love for us to work together and make it to f3, and represent  bbmafia an era that's been long forgotten. I've also talked with a lot of the other people on my tribe now too, and I already feel like I'm developing more of a social game now than I did on all of egypt if im spilling tea.

While this was being uploaded, I MISSED getting an advantage in the rules. I feel like I was the second person because the link still existed when I got there but the image was gone, I'm upset.

I wasn't planning on returning this soon after All-Stars, but here I am, and I'm kinda happy about it? Speaking of All-Stars, why are there SO MANY All-Stars people here!!! Ari, Carson, Jakey, Jenn, Jessy, Kait, Ryan, Simon.......including me, that's nearly half the cast, omg. So obviously this cast is pretty stacked because that season was pretty stacked. I don't know how I feel about it, either. I'm happy to be playing with friends, but I kinda wish most of them weren't here. Tribe rankings so far: 1. Ari aka Riley- One of my favorite people outside of Tumblr Survivor!! I'm thrilled they're playing this with me, and I hope we're able to go far together. There's a lot of people that know how close we are though, so I don't know if we can pull it off. I hope we can, I wanna get them to the Rites of Passage that I robbed them of in Heroes Vs. Villains II 2. Ryan- He's hosted me in nearly every game I've played, so it's kind of refreshing to play alongside him for once. He's a really huge asset because he knows so many people, and I trust that he won't target me anytime soon. Plus I luv him 3. Elliott- We have a connection through The Miranda Wowart of Tumblr Survivor: Olympics and Tumblr Survivor: Egypt fame, and thankfully Miranda has said nice things about me to him. We've agreed to look out for each other, and he seems pretty cool. I want him to teach me some yoga moves 4. Ting Ting- Seems really sweet! We've talked about our pets, and she seems like she has a good sense of humor 5. Callie- Only had a brief conversation with Callie so far, but I like her a lot!! 6. Jakey- Nice person, but he's a bit of a snake, and I don't wanna let him get too far, honestly 7. Alex- Interesting 8. Adam- Stopped talking to me right after saying how he had a bad social game in his first season lol 9. Eddie- He's a Libra

Night 1 - What the fuck am I doing to myself? Ima get voted out real good and early I can just FEEL it. The tribe chat is quiet AS FUCK and it's really awkward to me. Anyways, I have some things to work with at least for the moment. Jakey - we were partners on RRN Fresh Meat and got fucked over together so hopefully I can get that partnership together. Logan - we both have a love for Miranda so that has brought us together pretty quickly. Eddie - we were both in Bangladesh so we have that season connection. I didn't vote for him to win, so hopefully we can play up a feud like I did in Bangladesh with Joe to get myself further. Alex - seems really cool and we've been talking so hopefully that goes somewhere. Ryan - I'm not actually sure where we stand, we haven't ever worked together before, but he might not have many connections in this tribe starting out so hopefully he's more trusting of me, at least early on. Although, he's really the only person here that knows how much of a comp player I can actually be, so that could be a problem. The rest of my tribe I haven't had much conversation with. I was hoping to see certain Champs on the other tribe to make my post-swap life a little easier (Miranda, Gage, Sam G.), but nope. Simon is my best hope. Kait and Lexi and I worked a lot together on RRN Battle Dome, but we were kinda forced to work together so I'm not sure how much I can rely on them. Also, they (hopefully) are very large targets because of how close they are and will be targeted early. Whew, after writing all that down, I might not be in as rough a position as I thought. Idk, we'll see (:

FADE FROM BLACK: Int. of Don Corleone's home office -day BONASERA (seated in front of the Don's desk, facing the camera) I believe in America. America has made my fortune. And I raised my daughter in the American fashion. I gave her freedom, but -- I taught her never to dishonor her family. She found a boyfriend; not an Italian. She went to the movies with him; she stayed out late. I didn't protest. Two months ago, he took her for a drive, with another boyfriend. They made her drink whiskey. And then they tried to take advantage of her. She resisted. She kept her honor. So they beat her, like an animal. When I went to the hospital, her nose was a'broken. Her jaw was a'shattered, held together by wire. She couldn't even weep because of the pain. But I wept. Why did I weep? She was the light of my life -- beautiful girl. Now she will never be beautiful again. [Bonasera breaks down. The Don gestures to Sonny to give Bonasera a drink] Sorry... [Bonasera, taking the drink, sips from the shot glass] I -- I went to the police, like a good American. These two boys were brought to trial. The judge sentenced them to three years in prison -- suspended sentence. Suspended sentence! They went free that very day! I stood in the courtroom like a fool. And those two bastard, they smiled at me. Then I said to my wife, "for justice, we must go to Don Corleone." VITO CORLEONE (sitting behind his desk, petting a cat) Why did you go to the police? Why didn't you come to me first? BONASERA What do you want of me? Tell me anything. But do what I beg you to do. VITO CORLEONE What is that? [Bonasera gets up to whisper his request into Don Corleone's ear] That I cannot do. BONASERA I'll give you anything you ask. VITO CORLEONE We've known each other many years, but this is the first time you came to me for counsel, for help. I can't remember the last time that you invited me to your house for a cup of coffee, even though my wife is godmother to your only child. But let's be frank here: you never wanted my friendship. And uh, you were afraid to be in my debt. BONASERA I didn't want to get into trouble. VITO CORLEONE I understand. You found paradise in America, had a good trade, made a good living. The police protected you; and there were courts of law. And you didn't need a friend of me. But uh, now you come to me and you say -- "Don Corleone give me justice." -- But you don't ask with respect. You don't offer friendship. You don't even think to call me Godfather. Instead, you come into my house on the day my daughter is to be married, and you uh ask me to do murder, for money. BONASERA I ask you for justice. VITO CORLEONE That is not justice; your daughter is still alive. BONASERA Then they can suffer then, as she suffers. (then) How much shall I pay you? VITO CORLEONE (stands, turning his back toward Bonasera) Bonasera... Bonasera... What have I ever done to make you treat me so disrespectfully? Had you come to me in friendship, then this scum that ruined your daughter would be suffering this very day. And that by chance if an honest man such as yourself should make enemies, then they would become my enemies. And then they would fear you. BONASERA Be my friend -- (then, after bowing and the Don shrugs) -- Godfather? VITO CORLEONE (after Bonasera kisses his hand) Good. (then) Some day, and that day may never come, I'll call upon you to do a service for me. But uh, until that day -- accept this justice as a gift on my daughter's wedding day. BONASERA (as he leaves the room) Grazie, Godfather. VITO CORLEONE Prego. (then, to Tom Hagen, after Bonasera leaves the room) Ah, give this to ah, Clemenza. I want reliable people; people that aren't gonna be carried away. I'm mean, we're not murderers, despite of what this undertaker says. CUT TO: Connie's Wedding reception. We hear the music "Connie's Wedding (The Godfather Tarantella)" -day CUT TO: Connie and Carlo at the head table CUT TO: The family gathers for a family portrait VITO CORLEONE (to Sonny) Where's Michael? SONNY CORLEONE Don't worry; it's early. VITO CORLEONE We're not taking the picture without Michael (then, he tells the photographer, in Italian) TOM HAGEN What's the matter, Sonny? SONNY CORLEONE It's Michael CUT TO: The Don meeting some guests outside CUT TO: Mama dancing with Sonny's twin girls CUT TO: Connie and Carlo laughing with guests at head table CUT TO: Long shot of guests dancing CUT TO: FBI arrive at entrance CUT TO: Clemenza dancing with his wife CUT TO: FBI take license plate numbers CUT TO: Tessio sitting at a table with Carmella & twins, tossing himself an orange CUT TO: FBI continuing to take license plate numbers CUT TO: Don Barzini arrives VITO CORLEONE Eh, Don Barzini. (then, Vito introduces Barzini to someone, in Italian) CUT TO: Clemenza is dancing, gets tired, and spins off the dancefloor, laughing. CLEMENZA (after dancing) Hey, Paulie! Let me have some wine. Paulie! More wine... PAULIE (OS to someone) Scusi, please (then, in view, to Clemenza, handing him a pitcher quarter-full of wine) Ah, you look teriff' on the dance floor CLEMENZA Hey, what are you a dance judge or something? Fatt' i cazzi tuoi ["Mind your own damn business"] Go take a walk around the neighborhood -- do your job. CUT TO: Sonny pinches Lucy Mancini's cheek as he walks towards his wife, Sandra SONNY Hey Sandra, do me a favor, huh; watch the kids -- don't let'em run wild, all right? SANDRA Well, you watch yourself, all right? CUT TO: Reception continues with Part 2 of Connie's Wedding Song (The Godfather Mazurka). We first see Tessio dancing with a young girl standing on his feet. OS: Eh Tessio, cosa fai? ["What are you doing?"] CUT TO: Don Corleone dancing with his wife, Carmella (Mama) CUT TO: Connie collecting gifts for her bridal purse. Paulie is watching. PAULIE Twenty- Thirty-grand. In small bills, cash. In that little silk purse. Madon', if this was someone else's wedding, sfortunato ["Oh, how unlucky I am!"]! BUTTONMAN (from afar, tossing him sandwiches) Hey, Paulie! I got two gobbagool... gabagol [cappicola] an' a prosciutto! PAULIE Eh, you stupid jerk! CUT TO: A photographer takes Barzini's picture. Barzini motions to his men to get the camera PHOTOGRAPHER Eh, what's the matter? [The men bring the film to Barzini, who exposes and crumples it] CUT TO: Tom going up to his wife, Theresa, who's sitting at a table at the reception TOM I have to go back to work THERESA Oh, Tom TOM (after he kisses his wife) It's part of the wedding: No Sicilian can refuse any request on his daughter's wedding day. LUCA (rehearsing his lines as Tom passes him) Don Corleone, I am honored and grateful that you have invited me to your home... CUT TO: Sonny goes out into the driveway to see the FBI guys. The Mazurka ends. SONNY Eh -- what's this -- Get outta here; it's a private party, go on! (then, to FBI man in car) What's is it? Hey, it's my sister's wedding (then, he spits after being shown a badge. He turns and walks away) Goddamn FBI don't respect nothing [jazz music begins to play from party] (then, to photographer) Eh, come here; come here; come here; come here, come here; come here; come here... (then smashes camera, which Paulie kicks, and flips cash to him) [music ends] ***Extra dialogue from The SAGA only*** NAZORINE (off screen) He was captured by the American army. Then he was sent to New Jersey, as a prisoner of war... *** CUT TO: Nazorine and Enzo in Don Corleone's office -day NAZORINE (seated in front of the Don't desk) But towards the end, he was uh paroled to help with the American uh war effort. So for the last six months he's been working in my pastry shop. VITO CORLEONE (seated) Nazorine, my friend, what can I do for you? NAZORINE Well now that the war is over, this boy, Enzo -- they want to repatriate him back to Italy. Godfather, I have a daughter. You see, she and Enzo...

I didn't think I'd be playing ORGs again this soon after but.... I'm here! I really love this tribe and I'm gonna try and work my social game because every time I play I just flop with that, but 39 days isn't too long to talk to people daily. It's so weird to be here because I'm such a bad player and I barely know how to play, and I'm playing with people who have all won or played like a million times, and it's just weird? I don't know. Aside from my paranoia of being horrible at the game, I really am going to try to go full throttle this time. Usually when I play, I don't throw out names because I'm scared that I'll be targeted for it, but how else am I going to win with players of this caliber? So, safe to say, that this is a NEW LEAF for me, and I'm playing hard. Socially, strategically, and strengthly (is that even a word?) I will DOMINATE! (hopefully.) Ooh, also, I almost forgot, but this idol thing, body and strength or whatever it is for us, is interesting, but with only 36 spots, and 10 people guessing, I'm assuming whatever was hidden was already found. Also, I found the MAROONING ADVANTAGE, hidden in the rules, but SOMEONE GOT IT BEFORE ME. https://challengersvschampions.tumblr.com/marooningadvantage https://i.gyazo.com/c279e5e96fc79dad7c431905c83878e6.png I took a picture of what it said on the URL because it showed when I posted it in Skype which is like.... so scammer-ish but.. that's me! I'm sooooo mad I didn't get it especially because Connor removed it from the rules after, so I got there like... shortly after the other person. And, I'll give some thoughts on my tribe because the Challengers will lose again so they don't matter. Hanne - love talking to her! shes really sweet and i lowkey wanna align with her. also both our cats are named kiki so..... it's fate! Jenn - have barely talked to her, but i really want to work with her after all stars, but im still cautious. Jessy - yes!!!! im so happy  to be playing with her and able to work with her for REAL after all stars, because we met in all stars and like shes became such a close friend of mine and i love talking to her and im so excited to FINALLY be able to work with her and just ahh im excited to have someone i trust around. Kait - same as jenn, but she talked to me a bit more Lexi - we shit talked mj then our conversation just kinda trailed off, but she's nice from the  like hour i talked to her! idk if i want to align with her, but im open for anything. Molly - i dont think she likes me! thats all i get from the short time i talked to her is that she doesnt like me. Sam - i talked the most to her about tons of stuff and she's definitely one of my favorites on this tribe and i really want to work with her moving forward. Shareef - same as sam! really like him! Simon - he keeps cutting off our conversations short and isnt like... that fun to talk to? i don't know And, an order of who I would align with: 1. Jessy 2. Sam 3. Shareef 4. Hanne 5. Kait 6. Lexi 7.  Jenn 8. Molly 9. Simon And.... That's it! Jessy said she liked Shareef/Simon, but I don't really like Simon, so! I forgot how much I love writing confessionals! Thanks for letting  me play, Connor and MJ, and I'm gonna try and win this, or at least make a champion win again. In the spirit of the Olympics.... let the games begin!

The first night was quiet and I hope that doesn't mean that I was put on the outs. I've heard through the grapevine (aka Eddie's been telling me) that Ari/RTP/Logan are pretty close which doesn't look too good for me. But so, with all this Cutthroat controversy/politics going on, it's kinda fun that while that's going on Elliot and I are having a simple conversation about names.

Okay so the video I submitted was my first impressions on the cast, I thought it might be helpful if I added timestamps so it's easier to navigate! Ryan: 0:44 Callie: 1:08 Simon: 4:04 Sam: 8:01 Molly: 9:57 Hanne: 11:15 Lexi: 12:16 Jessy: 13:30 Jenn: 15:39 Carson: 16:51 Kait: 17:17

Why does it feel like a lot of the newer players are really bad at carrying on conversations?? It felt that way in All-Stars, and it feels like that now. They just come off as indifferent and like they aren't interested in anything I have to say, which is annoying. And I would think that I'm the problem, but other people like Riley have been saying similar things, kinda squashing that idea. Whatever, I guess. I know a lot of people aren't good at small talk, but how are we supposed to move past the small talk part if you give me literally NOTHING to work off of!? Conversation is a two-way street.

https://prnt.sc/fwjvlq

Me every time my bunny falls in winterbells: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BD_vt-pXs5Q

https://68.media.tumblr.com/fb24a9fe6be206d6b4cc1c4c984e8c0e/tumblr_omig384i7u1teep5ro2_500.gif It's time for my first confessional of the season! I'm really glad y'all bitches cast me again so here it goes... Instantly right off the bat I can tell I'm on a tribe with big players who I know are going to cause some trouble. I see Shareef who straight up DOMINATED two seasons in a row with Jakey on his side for one of them which makes me feel a little more comfortable around him. I see Sam who I just got off a season with so I'm feeling a little nervous about that. Anyway let's get down to the REAL business that y'all are here for. I bond really well with Carson which is good for myself but I'm scared that people might know we're close. I've been trying to downplay it with everyone but I'm not sure if it's working because we both played a season together which I think will be noticable. I need to try to downplay it really well because if I don't it might fuck me over. I also like Shareef because he's really funny and I just like him a lot as a person, but I know he's very smart and will do what is best for his game even if we're friends from a past game. I shared idol guesses with Sam which was really cool because I thought working with her would be really fun this time around! I was thinking of like.. being HVV levels close but I'm not sure. I also talked a lot to Kait so she could just like me, since once again the only thing we have in common is us both being friends with Jake so I'll try to work harder on that. Anyway down to the REAL REAL business! I have a spreadsheet of my own and Shareef told me we should make one for idol guesses but like I don't wanna spill all that earl grey at once... It wouldn't be a good look! He made his own so I was like oh okay that's fine. KLSKLBMASDKL Yeah, I think he wants to make an alliance with Carson and I because we'll gravitate towards him eventually since Carson said the only person he talks game to is Shareef. I'd be fine with that because like... it's an alliance? I'm not gonna say no gal! Speaking of alliances, Kait said she wanted to make one with me and that's fine! That's great! From my last season, I worked with people deemed "non-threatening" so I wanted to work with players that were seen as really good this time around so I could hide behind them and manuever my way around this game. I'm not sure if that'll work because these people are blood thirsty and want to win. The least talkative people on this tribe I think are Lexi and Simon so if I see an opportunity to possibly snatch one of them up.. I will! I think Lexi might be the first boot so I'll try to snatch Simon under my wing and see how that goes. Shareef said he was really smart so I hope I don't turn him off or anything, but like I never saw how good he was in our last season together so idk! I know I just won a season so I shouldn't be like.... this thirsty for another win? But like I wanna win! I remember that I was kind of annoyed that Jenn could've thrown for her friends in All-Stars so I don't wanna do that and make this a season where I didn't try as hard as I could've. https://media.tenor.com/images/1905513144999e9d87a7a6e8b830a65e/tenor.gif So it's Night 2 and Shareef told me he was on a call with Kait and we'd talk soon but SOON turned into like 2 hours so I was like okay there better be some good tea? And there really wasn't any. All he told me to do was to talk to Jenn more often and didn't give a really good explanation as to why. I'm left confused... shook... and tea-less. The tea bags are cold and someone slipped some tiny ice cubes in it. I feel like I'm being paranoid about this but I feel like Shareef could snatch the world from Kait in 2 hours? Also he told me that Sam told Kait about her idol guesses, and then he proceeded to tell me their's so like I'm worried that he knows I've known about the Sam idol guesses.. but I just didn't tell him. So I might own up to that tomorrow because it's snakey but I wanna make it seem okay but that's REALLY hard to do with Shareef. I'm un sure why I did it, but I think it's because I really want to snatch an idol or advantage this time around. But yeah, I think these people are going to underestimate me this game because I don't have Allison or Scott with me this time so I'm going to prepare and cultivate relationships of my own. http://66.media.tumblr.com/459d0878d92171d20f901e84962f3207/tumblr_o9xl1xeEAk1v9bduuo6_r1_400.gif

Ok so first things first I found the legacy adavantage!!! woho!!!! yea no, it's useless until final four and I'm not a patient person. I would much rather have a double vote our something that would help me out before the final 4, cause who know's if I'll even get there. Alex on call: OMG eddie so there was an advantage on the rules page but i was just seconds to late from getting it Me: Advantage who? What? where? What’s an advantage? https://media.tenor.com/images/fb3f2d1e814190100a4ae401b1660d5b/tenor.gif Alex and I have been getting really close, we called for almost two hours on night one, and we called for about 40 minutes last night. [7/16/17, 4:57:13 AM] Eddie Bracco: I made alex woke to the fact that logan and “riley” were very close in animal crossing, and ryan hosted animal crossing. Also I served him tea about the group chat from almost a year ago and how Ryan has all these connections in the game. If callie will actually work with me i will be so loyal to that girl. There is something about her i just love and i want to run this game with her. She’s sweet and kind, and if i can remember correctly in R&R she was playing the middle and she was taken out because sole was woke to how good of a position she was in? And I got taken out in maldives because sherry was woke to me playing the middle. Then in bangladesh, I found somebody who was just as good as I was at playing the middle aka sam, and we ran circles around that cast. So I’d love to make callie my sam. It’s just about her trusting me and believing me when i say i want to go all the way with her. And it really is in callie’s best interest to work with me. I will be such a big meat shield for her in the merge. I usually like to be the one hiding behind people. But with this cast there’s no way I can hide. There’s people on that champion tribe that will want my head on a silver platter as soon as we’re on the same tribe together. Alex wants jakey, elliott, adam, me, and ting ting but I’m trying to lowkey get callie into it. I told alex that I would rather not be at the forefront of creating this alliance but he said he has no problem creating the alliance and being at the head of it so I’m like ok then bish go right ahead. I’m going to go on call with callie tonight when she gets home and let her know what’s going on and see what she wants to do about it. I think this would be a really good way of building trust with callie and showing her that i really am loyal to her at the moment. Im going to try to get alex to do all the dirty work. He will think that he’s making the decisions and running the show, and it will be apparent to people that he is, but behind the scenes I’m going to be pulling his strings. Also another reason I need to really strengthen my trust with callie is because I need lexi to want to work with me whenever we end up together. Right now I feel like lexi probably wouldn’t really want to work with me because I screwed her over in bora bora so hard. But i know her and callie are best friends, and if i am someone who is good for callies game I can probably avoid her targeting me for a bit, because she wouldn’t want to do anything to harm callie’s game. And if she brings up targeting me to callie I need callie to trust me enough to turn it down and say she doesn’t think it’s a good move right now. And honestly, maybe callie won’t be the one hiding behind me. Maybe i’ll be the one who can exploit her and her friend ship with lexi to the point where people will want them out because of how tight they are, and I can let them take the bullets and allow myself to go under the radar for a few rounds. Not only that, but alex is pretty confident that the champions are going to 100% stick together so he wants a strong group going into the merge. If Alex wants to do that go ahead that’s fine by me. But I know Callie will have an in to the champions side because of lexi which means that Callie and I could easily play the middle come merge. This is all so reliant on callie actually trusting me and wanting to work with me long term though. So Ima need to get to work on that.

Why is this tribe ASLEEP? I had more thoughts that I should share but I'm sick and just spent 8 hours playing Patience so maybe later

omg you can choose my name. shadyyyyyy. anyways this game is cool. i guess. sideeye at connor and mj. joking. anyways WE WON. US BITCHEZ WON THE FIRST CHALLENGE HAHAHAHAHA WHO'RE THE CHAMPIONS NOW. but honestly we're probably going to get taken out by the real champions. sad. anyways let's do some player first impressions. ok so... adam: hilarious. he love peih-gee. i love peih-gee. match made in heavan. he seems kinda quiet though so i'm hoping i can talk to him more in the pms. alex: oh alex. what a character. seamus knew him and was like omg it's alex he's weird but cool. and i'm like ok. i can see how he's a lil annoying but it's like aw like you would look at a puppy dog. is that demeaning? i don't mean for it to be that way. sorry brochacho. callie: queen. slay. i was like yeah i last played in myanmar. and this is what she said On 7/15/17, at 8:02 PM, Callie ♡ wrote: > omg the game u should have won??… i remember tuning into the final tribal for a few mins while at work i think OMG QUEEN FLATTERED and that 99 bottles girl we slayed connor: nasty. we get it you're australian. you like to say mate a lot. eddie: yas eddie. love. we played in world of survivors tibet and i went out quick but not this time haha. we gon go far. i love eddie he's amazing. elliott: steffen was like if you're going to love anyone in this game it's going to be elliott bc he's the sweetest bean. and i'm like girl i believe it. elliott is so nice and he has 2 cats like me. LOVE. jakey: this bitch i can not. i can't say anything except "iconic...?" joking he's great love him but he burnt bacon and i'm like uh uh no. jenna: actually iconic logan: omg he has so many animal friends and i'm so jealous. as;dkfj i want to be surrounded by animal friends. like disney princesses honestly. logan is hilarious and we slayed 99 bottles together. mj: stop asking us to fight. we are a happy family riley: omg i heard something about riley being a catfish but that's probably not true lol. either way i love them. they're from canada. i love canada and justin trudeau. and they love waffles, the obviously superior breakfast food. #wafflealliance made right there ryan: last but least. jk jk. ryan and i are like already working together to find the idol. lowkey along with jakey but none of them know that the other is working with me. idk how that's gonna turn out. but anyways ryan is fun <3 btw um apparently there was this marooning advantage like right in the very beginning hidden on the rules page. i don't appreciate it. plz don't thx.

hello! so... we lost? i think yeah. im trying to work the sochele game but its not really working because everyone knows each other and i feel like whoever goes im screwed. i guess i shouldve figured that, but i just dont wanna be first boot. thats my only goal. well andmake jury but im fine with accomplishing either. names being thrown around are lexi and hanne, which funnily enough, both were told to me by jessy! because everyone says "oh yeah, ill let you know if i hear any names", and then jessy comes to me and be like oh yeah, the person who said theyd let you know told me they wanted out lexi. its nice having kind of a secret relationship with jessy, but im p sure jenn and kait already know. also, theres a big alliance of molly, sam, shareef, jenn, and kait, from what jessy told me, so she said we should work with lexi and simon and vote out hanne this round. lexi is one of the people i told id want to work with so im good with that, but i also cant help the feeling that im just being jessy's bitch right now, but its early on in the game and id rather let her get her hands dirty while i sit back and stay updated. if she ever goes though, im fucked, because shes the only reason i even know anything and the only one giving me the time of day. shareef says how much he likes me then doesnt tell me jack shit, jenn and kait both say they wanna mend our relationship from all stars then offer alliances to like everyone but me, and im pretty sure molly hates me, plus i gave her 3 of my idol guesses and she just said she guessed one of mine. i feel like im in a horrible spot, and i guess i just have to latch on to the power players until i can find my footing, but i dont wanna just be a floater all of pre-merge because that sucks so much. i dont wanna be a goat and i feel like im already being prepped to be a goat to like... shareef and jessy and jenn and kait. also i just feel like no one trusts me bc no one offers alliances to me, or anything and it just sucks. im trying to be proactive but i dont know the difference between taking control of your own fate and overplaying because ive never actually played before! this is the first time im trying to do a social game or trying to make moves or dictate boots and ive never done it before so i dont know whats good or bad or what i should or shouldnt do so i keep coming back to jessy as a crutch to lie on and UGH it just sucks. Tribe Assessment: Hanne - i love talking to her but i think i have to vote her and that makes me sad i really didnt wanna lose bc i do love this tribe Jessy - i really dont know how to feel. i think im just her goat/extra vote and it sucks, but shes also a really good friend of mine, idk how to feel. Kait - kait's so hard to read i never know what shes thinking so i got no idea Lexi - shes fun to talk to but i think she likes jessy more than me from what jessy told me, dont wanna vote her out but it seems like majority is Molly - she hates me i know it, just from how she talks to me Sam - i like sam but jessy said shes really connected. idk Simon - i have no idea im so mixed on him? like he talks strategy one moment then just leaves me hanging or says something to end the convo idk Shareef - i like him but hes not telling me everything like he is to jessy i hope he does soon bc i do trust him but hes a lso a double winner. Jenn - love jenn and love talking to her, shes such a fun person, but i also know she can stab me in the back with a smile and thats scary Ranking of How Likely I Am To Vote Them: (1.Not Likely - 9. Likely) 1. Jessy 2. Jenn 3. Shareef 4. Kait 5. Sam 6. Simon 7. Molly 8. Lexi 9. Hanne orgs suck

Sooooooooo I’m back after a year for a final appearance. http://68.media.tumblr.com/a86b8dd23287e4e6157e9a29c481a96c/tumblr_omzv6xlMLl1w8v6pno2_400.gif Honestly, I expected the cast to be like full of people I wouldn’t know but I’m just here for fun before I go into the skype community “afterlife”. LKSJHDASK My goal is not to be first boot after that idc ^_^ [2017-07-14, 10:49:58 PM] Callie ♡: me day 2: I KNOW YALL PLOTTING AGAINST ME AND U KNOW WHAT.. WATCH IT CAUSE I GOT SOME TE- remembers there’s only 39 ppl watching me: nvm the cast: [2017-07-14, 10:49:58 PM] Callie ♡: https://68.media.tumblr.com/fae46f8f7edb781a532e43f7259b8b34/tumblr_omxidd8Wek1w7ty5ho1_400.gif [2017-07-14, 10:50:46 PM] connor // cvc host: hvdgsdsd omg putting all this in the cofnessionals already Me just before the cast reveal: [2017-07-15, 4:55:42 PM] Callie ♡: I’M HAVING ANGINAAAAAA. DANIELLE_REYES_IM_OUT.GIF [2017-07-15, 4:55:57 PM] Callie ♡: jk im calm. love depression Then I walk into the tribe area and you know who I see??? 3 people I don’t know and Ryan whom I orchestrated the vote out for in rebels & rogues so like that’s like super awesome and I’m obviously winning. 💯😩😍👌🏼👌🏼😍💯💯 Do you know WHAT he messages me first? [2017-07-15, 5:33:10 PM] Ryan Palmer: OMG QUEEN! I am so fucking excited to play with you [2017-07-15, 5:36:36 PM] Ryan Palmer: and like with you this time [2017-07-15, 5:36:41 PM] Ryan Palmer: don't vote me out at merge again Oopsies! He said merge so there’s a part of me who wants to be chaotic and vote him out premerge kalsjhdgasjkjda but like he’s one of the few people I know here so we will see! Tbh idk if anyone should wanna vote me out when like everyone else is considered like a legend and I’m easier to beat in a final oop! More people get added.. don’t know them! I see Riley… and they have hosted me twice before and I was a little sketchy in those seasons (but like only to protect my closest allies) anywhooooooo! Eddie also was added and idk I feel like I could work with him and I think he’d probably assume the half of the tribe that has connections to the winners tribe is coming after him so I look like a safe bet! I spoke with Jake a bit and he seems iconic and we bonded over being awkward and nervous… you know the usual first day talk. Everything died down and that’s when… my depression faded for a bit and… [2017-07-15, 7:26:39 PM] Callie ♡: im gonna have a meltdown [2017-07-15, 7:26:52 PM] Callie ♡: https://68.media.tumblr.com/4d38b77c271145b7ea77ab2052b4c9de/tumblr_inline_on53iuWbxV1tb0ry4_500.gif [2017-07-15, 7:26:54 PM] connor // cvc host: its day one [2017-07-15, 7:26:58 PM] Callie ♡: I KNOW..... [2017-07-16, 12:40:30 AM] Callie ♡: eddie keeps messaging me about riley and asking if it’s ari like BIH THE WIKI LITERALLY TELLS U I just don’t want to be the one who’s like well duh! Because idk if Ari wants to play the Riley persona and I don’t feel like Eddie going to them and being all “well Callie said…” OPKSDIJHUAGSK Ugh I’m losing it already. [2017-07-16, 12:41:04 AM] Callie ♡: adam and alex give me weird vibes [2017-07-16, 12:41:11 AM] connor // cvc host: inch resting Adam had a conversation with me and then told me I could always talk to him for support and in general but like it came off weird alksjhda but then again that’s literally how I come off to people so moving on laid ease! Alex seems like an aggressive player like he just wants an alliance right away and wants to call everyone but he does seem straightforward more than the rest of these (sneaky) players. [2017-07-16, 12:54:45 AM] Callie ♡: i need an alliance [2017-07-16, 12:54:54 AM] Callie ♡: where’s regan and masen when u need them Legends of making alliance chats out of nowhere [2017-07-16, 2:26:11 AM] Callie ♡: i heard eddie always has like a good social game. and that he does this thing where he tries to connect really well with a certain few ppl before backstabbing them later on but like with that said i sure will work with him i think [2017-07-16, 2:26:45 AM] Callie ♡: im waiting for more offers. like… these ppl… are so rude Sidenote I just drank from my water bottle and forgot I had replaced the water with something else. Day 1 and I already blindsided myself! [2017-07-16, 3:28:22 AM] Eddie Bracco: And I'd really love to work with you too. I was really excited when I saw you were on the cast. I feel like you would be a super good ally and I just want to work with people who are genuinely good people and I enjoy talking to. I don't expect to do that well in this game so I just want to have fun while I'm playing. I also feel like you're really smart and are someone I can rely on. I'm honestly so obsessed with the idea of working with you. [2017-07-16, 3:28:42 AM] Eddie Bracco: I was literally just talking about it in my host chat aisjdnend “obsessed” lets not oversell it [2017-07-16, 3:46:38 AM] mj ultra . _/: On 2017-07-16, at 3:45 AM, Callie ♡ wrote: > and then i sprang out the old “let’s work together omg” NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN [2017-07-16, 3:46:40 AM] mj ultra . _/: JKGDLHG;JSKGSD [2017-07-16, 3:47:08 AM] Callie ♡: im hoping it sounded less mj and more christine if u know what i mean Anyways I think I'm okay with Ryan but he seems to know and talk to a large part of the tribe. Eddie and I are officially working together. I think Elliott and Eddie and friends? Or like worked together in a season. Jake and I are bonding over being awkward. So like I'm hoping jake and Ryan are still close and I think Ryan and Riley are close so I'm hoping they'd all bring me into an alliance. But I don't have any high hopes so I'd settle for ppl liking me enough not to come after me. Also I do a lot better on tribal day by being creative last minute ^_^ Oh and like I think ting ting and jake might be friends? Idk she said something to him in the tribe chat yesterday. Adam seems to be okay with me and said I should come to him any time but like idk he sketches me out for whatever reason. I heard he was an Ika fan so like maybe I'll be petty and target him first for funsies. WHKDLSHSL I don't remember if there's more people here so like anywho. +Logan apparently is veryyyyy close with Riley which I heard from Eddie I’ve been sitting and watching the tribe bond from afar for far too long but then Alex talked about his musical so I did what any sane person would do… told him my sister was in the same one even though she wasn’t and wished him luck! [2017-07-16, 3:09:50 PM] Callie ♡: My sister wasn't in the musical btw [2017-07-16, 3:09:58 PM] Callie ♡: I just wanted to be in the conversation [2017-07-16, 3:10:50 PM] mj ultra . _/: fuck It’s not my fault!!! I never have any of the same interests as these people so I gotta lie! [2017-07-16, 4:19:48 PM] Callie ♡: if they make the tribe chat active again.. im gonna count up who sent the most messages in there and make them my target [2017-07-16, 4:19:50 PM] Callie ♡: https://68.media.tumblr.com/68fff2106e8aba194a0ea5f80a09024f/tumblr_inline_onwrrbYwdh1tseyg2_500.gif I reply to ryan thinking he’s gonna make an alliance with me and you know WHAT he says [2017-07-16, 4:35:10 PM] Ryan Palmer: I'm bored [2017-07-16, 4:35:14 PM] Ryan Palmer: there is nothing to do Not related to my game but couldn’t let this be lost forever. [2017-07-16, 4:55:17 PM] mj ultra . _/: On 2017-07-16, at 4:54 PM, connor // cvc host wrote: > crickey mate it's so hot today mate gotta grab my thongs mate I just had a stroke We worked on the challenge and since we did the 99 bottles, we were on call together and they bonded while I was my awkward self and chimed in every few minutes with a laugh or “yeah”. Call highlights: [2017-07-16, 10:32:18 PM] Callie ♡: “i dont like kait” -alex on call On 2017-07-16, at 12:41 AM, Callie ♡ wrote: > adam and alex give me weird vibes CLOCKT! [2017-07-16, 10:32:32 PM] mj ultra . _/: DUVDOLJKDGFHSJ;FLSDKGHJ;SK' [2017-07-16, 10:41:19 PM] Callie ♡: “who even likes brussels sprouts” [2017-07-16, 10:41:23 PM] Callie ♡: BIH…. I DO?!?!?!? [2017-07-16, 11:00:54 PM] Callie ♡: alex messaged elliott and asked him to pick out what he should wear today…. why u telling us this sis! you didn’t message me all day. WEE WOO.jpeg [2017-07-16, 11:16:19 PM] Callie ♡: “callie have YOU seen moana?” me: yeah! (googles the summary) [2017-07-16, 11:16:39 PM] connor // cvc host: u: yeah I was on that tribe [2017-07-16, 11:17:05 PM] mj ultra . _/: SLDKJGHLG;JSD'KSLS [2017-07-16, 11:17:25 PM] Callie ♡: SHUT THE FUCJAFISOUHYHIA [2017-07-17, 3:10:45 AM] Callie ♡: no goodnight before hanging up? penciling that in between targeting adam for being an ika stan. and alex sending the most tribe chat messages. [2017-07-17, 3:11:22 AM] connor // cvc host: dfshdsfhsdggdshgsdhgdssdghsd [2017-07-17, 3:11:42 AM] mj ultra . _/: On 2017-07-17, at 3:10 AM, Callie ♡ wrote: > no goodnight before hanging up? penciling that in between targeting adam for being an ika stan. and alex sending the most tribe chat messages. JUST SNORTED [2017-07-17, 3:12:19 AM] Callie ♡: forgot to mention ryan asking not to be voted out at merge so ill assume he meant he wanted to be out premerge [2017-07-17, 3:12:35 AM] mj ultra . _/: FUCK [2017-07-17, 3:12:37 AM] mj ultra . _/: SHUT UPDS FLSHLG JSD;GKSD [2017-07-17, 3:12:41 AM] mj ultra . _/: IM LITERALLYLAUGHING https://68.media.tumblr.com/a732f16086fe90340f625f77b5a43b7a/tumblr_onhgcp69FO1v9roxto10_400.gif Eddie and I called and he kept convincing me that him and Elliott aren’t on great terms and that Elliott seems sketchy and I’m not sure if he just wants me to believe if I’m the closest to him or if he actually means it. He said him Alex and Elliott made an alliance chat and then we talked about ALL the connections in the game multiple times and there’s so many more than I thought there were. I think my best bet is to go with his group even though my faves to work with rn besides him are Ryan and Jake but they have too many connections with the winners tribe. I just think if we went to tribal that if I voted with Eddie’s group that the others would be mad at me if they expected me to vote with them which could cause them and their friends on the winners tribe to not want to work with me either. So I want to think it all out more and I also want an alliance chat which I don’t have right now. I feel Ryan/Riley/Logan could be together, Jake/Adam/maybe Ting Ting could be together and I know Alex/Eddie/Elliott are together so that leaves me. KLDJAHFGHSJDKAL Jake is kinda close with Ryan I think and whenever I talk to people they all say “I’ve talked to Jake” and that they like him a lot so I mean! Anyways, either way I’m at the bottom which is like good and bad. Good because why would they target someone by themselves but bad because for that reason I’m easiest to get rid of. Depending on how numbers go and who tries to keep me in the loop and whatnot will probably factor into my decision later. [2017-07-17, 4:18:08 AM] Callie ♡: i feel like we’d win the second part and they’ll win the third part and then itll just come down to the winterbells matchups… which is like such a sad thing to say. [2017-07-17, 4:18:24 AM] mj ultra . _/: (happy) [2017-07-17, 4:18:24 AM] Callie ♡: i feel like i remember kait and jenn saying they were good at patience [2017-07-17, 4:18:46 AM] Callie ♡: also lexi won it in palawan [2017-07-17, 4:18:57 AM] Callie ♡: rip us huh! [2017-07-17, 4:20:01 AM] Callie ♡: i wonder if ill be targeted cause im friends with them. but then again im like just super loyal and like 100% honest that anyone would be lucky to have me in their alliance ^_^ [2017-07-17, 4:20:21 AM] mj ultra . _/: GHFGSHDJFKGLH;U'LJKJLGKH;J'K [2017-07-17, 4:20:25 AM] mj ultra . _/: MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Soooo I woke up today to a message from Ryan as per usual and I talked to Alex a bit and told him I’d love to work with him which he just agreed but… [2017-07-17, 5:50:09 PM] Alex C.: I want to work with you too, you're a pretty nice person and I think that'd be fantastic. Idk this doesn’t sound convincing, sounds like a brush off to me laid ease! I don’t think he’ll target me but I wanted more of a concrete alliance. Eddie did tell me earlier that Alex wanted to bring me into their group of 3 but idk if that’s true or if he just wants me to vote with them. Zzzz We won the challenge so I’m not first boot and I’ve accomplished my goal... time to get voted out and leave! [2017-07-17, 7:43:28 PM] Callie ♡: Me last night: was bored outta my mind Them: (tumbleweed) Me tonight: is having a depressed episode and doesn't want to talk and has work at 7am Them: omg lets have a bonding session [2017-07-17, 7:45:09 PM] mj ultra . _/: LSJDKSJDDJJDD Jake messages me out of nowhere and then not even a minute later you know who finally replies? Adam. He’s also literally never here. BUT THEN… I asked who he talked to and he said he spoke the most with me Jake and Ting Ting. Ting Ting never speaks to me... so interesting! Jake hosted the season Adam was in so not completely shocking. Also, Eddie and I spoke about that on call the night before. [2017-07-17, 10:59:31 PM] Callie ♡: adam just said he talked to ryan too… [2017-07-17, 10:59:48 PM] Callie ♡: BIH! why’d i have to message u first then after 2 days I’m exhausted trying to find a way into an alliance, when we finally go to tribal and they need a vote? You can count on me to throw my vote laid ease! Also forgot to mention that Ryan asks me my idol guesses and then tells me his even though I know he’s getting other ones but hasn’t mentioned those to me oop! Tonight Adam randomly gave me his guesses and then Jake said he trusts me suddenly and sends his to me too 20 minutes later… sus. Who even knows if they’re being honest about their guesses but I’m sleep. https://68.media.tumblr.com/6478af2827f3c9bece2b82f20bb63e62/tumblr_ogcknzEuCU1v9bduuo1_250.gif

https://youtu.be/Rf1ACJ0yLgw

"Who here has an alliance with Kait?" https://media.giphy.com/media/xT9KVwVraalcvmKBfW/giphy.gif

We won immunity, yay! I would pay to see the drama at the Champions tribe, I bet it's wild. I was hoping to go to tribal though, just so everyone would wake up a little, but it's whatever. I would've been good, I think. I have an alliance with Riley and Ryan, with Jakey being an unofficial fourth member. Then Elliott and I have a deal to look out for one another, so that's half the tribe right there. Speaking of Elliott, I really like him! Like, a lot! He's so sweet. But maybe too sweet... I was asking him who he would wanna be in an alliance with on the tribe, and the conversation kinda went like: Me: Elliott who should we work with? Elliott: I love EVERYONE on this tribe EQUALLY SO that's far from perfect since we all can't make the merge together and the chances there's no swap is pretty slim, lol. C'mon Elliott, c'mon. If we had lost, I think either Adam or Eddie would get the boot? Adam is really quiet. As for Eddie, Jakey was saying he felt Ryan didn't like Eddie. I think maybe Alex could get booted too, but I hope not anytime soon. Alex is like unintentionally hilarious. The two times we've called he goes on these random rants against Kait, so I wanna see Kait and him interact just to see how messy it would be.

Hello, I am back again for what is hopefully my last season of any game ever (I am high key excited about my retirement coming up). I am on the champions side which absolutely scares the hell out of me since its not like these people have just made it far only once, a lot of them have consistently made it far in multiple seasons and that obviously worries me but I made a promise to myself to work on my social game this season and so far it is working kinda. I still have no idea what is really happening but at least I can say I have talked to everyone on this tribe past day 1 which is a major accomplishment for me. With my tribe consists of some really big icons: Carson - I have never spoken to him before this game but he is one of the few people I think I have actually made a connection with so far in the game. We have spoken a lot since the start and we seem to be on the same page about a lot of things going on so I am hoping to be able to work with him a lot in the future! Hanne - Def the person I have talked to the least in this game and I think its mostly due to our schedules clashing. We did talk a lot the first night but its been a few days since then and she is the player that worries me the most because unlike other players, she is a very low key target in this game. In most games she has played in TS, she has made top 5 AT LEAST and thats a good record plus the fact she is most likely close with players like Jessy and Molly is not good for my game Jenn - I played in Bora Bora with her but she did sort of betray me in that game so I am kind of hesitant with her around. I don't really let past games come into other games unless its like a consistant thing so I would be more than happy to work with her if I have the opportunity! Jessy - She is the most recent winner in this cast (literally just won like 10 days ago wow) and I really like her a lot. I think we have a lot in common and we have spoken a lot but like I said before with Hanne, the past connections thing really does worry me so I dont know if she is playing me or truly wants to work together Kait - we have been rocky the past year but I kinda heard she was playing or at least applied so I was ready to either work things out or get my ass beat but THANKKKFULLY we both were sort of on the same page of working things out since it really would benefit us if we do work together cause dead ass no one would expect it. So we called and spoke things out the first night so as far as I am concerned, legend! Molly - I have heard things from her from like MJ and just around the winners chat in general and people say she is iconic but like I am high key bored talking about retail for the past  4 days fjghd Sam - a legend in this part of the woods but again, our schedules have not lined up at all. She is a night owl and I have turned into a day owl (kinda) so its hard to find a time where we both can  ya know talk about things besides patio furniture Shareef - a bbtc dad. You would think he would be like my number 1 target cause you know 2 time winner and all that fun stuff but right now.. I need someone to take control of things and thankfully Shareef is one heck of a planner cause our tribe would not have made it anywhere in this challenge without him! We are currently talking and we are on the same boat with a lot of things so I am really hoping to work with him in the future if we both are able to make it past things. HOWEEEVVERR, that is mostly counting on if the challengers do gods work and get jake out cause i saw generations! Simon - literally birthed me into the community 2 years ago which is such a long time. He has seen me flop in so many things but I have also seen him flop in many things so its like fate. He is a lot more extreme than I am in manyyy cases but he has been kind to me so far so I am all for ignoring his messiness if it makes sure we both stick together. In this past challenge, I knew after the first hour or so of figuring things out that we would most likely lose. Everyone wanted to do something and I was just like a sitting duck because I wasn't confident in annny of my abilities. After like hours and hours I ended up on the bottle one and that made me scared af cause my mind cant handle sitting there for over an hour staring at the clock anymore but I somehow got through it and so did my other team mates which makes me happy even tho we lost cause giving up is just annoying and stupid in my opinion. As for tribal, I am lost as hell because no one really has a plan and tribal is currently in 4 hours and no one has anything yet but I am still trying to talk to people and if I do end up going then at least I left ya know trying to have a game. I am currently talking to Shareef and Carson and they are saying they have nothing yet so I hope its not just me who is lost. Here is to praying!!!!!

So I went on call with Callie and basically filled her in on everything. I mean what is there to really fill her in on? This tribe is dead af and there's barely anything going on. But anyway yea tru I told her about the alliance with Elliott and Alex. I made it seem like alex and elliott are playing really hard and are dying for something to get started and like alex approached me with the idea of the alliance and i wasn’t gunna say no. I told her we didn’t have to work with them if she didn’t want to but she like immediately replied no i do want to work with them cause i feel like we don’t have any other options. We both agree that taking ari, logan, ryan teddy palmer, and jakey to merge is like basically asking to be in the minority in the merge because of all the connections they have. We’re both woke to jakey’s social game being on fucking fleek and i want him the fuck out of this game as soon as I can do it. I told her about Alex and Elliott wanting to form a majority and I told her about them bringing up jakey, ting ting, and adam as a majority, and callie maybe as a 7th but i plan to make callie higher then seventh and just exclude jakey from it all together and exclude adam as well. While we were doing our wiki research we realized that jakey hosted adam. Im going to have to go on a call with alex today and explain to him all of this. Jake’s scary alliance with shareef from generations, him hosting jen and adam, him and kait working together prior to this and liking each other, (that alone will get alex to want nothing to do with jake being in the majority because alex wants nOTHING to do with kait) Jake being one of the FIVE okinawa hoes on the cast. Alex brought up the possibility of a tight four with him, Elliott, Callie and I. Now I of course and so fucking down for that and I of course ran to Callie immediately when he said this. So I'm trying to get the ball rolling on this thang and get this game going. It's just scary cause you never wanna be the one doing way too much and I already feel like I'm over playing. I'm talking to a lot of people but so aren't others? I don't know this tribe is so fucking quiet like WHY CANT THESE PEOPLE JUST PLAY THIS GAME FAST?? If I'm going to be in the majorityI wanna know it, if I'm gunna be out of it I want to know it. I don't wanna wait till the day we are actually going to tribal council for people to decide to step up and start playing. Like we're here for a reason, we're "all" some of the best players to never win, and we didn't get that title by sitting on our asses and not doing shit. ANYWAY, my ideal would be for a five person alliance between Ting Ting, Alex, Elliott, Callie and I and for us 5 to push for a unanimous vote the first vote, and then take majority. It's difficult to bring anyone else in to the majority because they would all be connected to somebody in the minority and could easily leak what's going on. So yea, basically my next goal is to make these dead people come alive and get something going. On the to do list: - Get this tight four going with callie, alex, and elliott. - Engage in some game talk with Ting Ting, find out who she likes, who she doesn't like and who she wants to work with and maybe try to steer her in the direction of Callie, Alex, and Elliott. And that's about it???? I do want to try and talk to Jakey just a bit more, even though I'm planning on trying to give him the early boot when the opportunity arises I do want to try and cover my bases with him. That's all I really have to say for now. Till next time.

So it's 50 minutes before Tribal Council but I just have to send in one more confessional! It's really smart to keep Lexi in the game but Simon is being really difficult. He's apparently really close to Kait and thinks we should "bite the bullet". No, if we bite the bullet we're next so! Also, Jenn literally just exposed her alliance that Shareef told me about and everyone in the Big Mix chat is lying about it. I'm literally done with them and now at least I have an excuse for the future if I ever want to pull off an Ashy Idols esque move. https://68.media.tumblr.com/9d58c1c344333c8002b2c7e2f3064320/tumblr_inline_oooim4HcSv1qgwh17_500.gif

https://youtu.be/z0Wy7CFAO6k

So hello... let me skip all the dumb cast assessment stuff and get straight into it. So Kait and I go on call with Shareef and discuss aligning and adding other people. Kait wants to add Jenn and we all agreed on Molly but I want Hanne because we know each other and she doesn’t have any other connections and if they’re gonna use their connections then I want mine too. Shareef was like “I can’t vote out Jessy cause Jakey will kill me” honey he ain’t on our tribe there’s no ned to worry about that rn. So we made a chat with me, Kait, Shareef, Jenn and Molly and were gonna let Molly and Jenn decide between Jessy and Hanne as the 6th. But then Shareef wanted to vote Hanne out.... THEN HE ADDED HER TO THE CHAT!!!! https://68.media.tumblr.com/27db5c009974768d1027972be3327b8f/tumblr_ot9it2RRrf1snwhbeo1_400.jpg Like how does that happen??? So we agreed on Lexi as a boot and then I had to go talk to Hanne and Molly and do damage control over the whole Shareef adding Hanne thing. Then myself, Kait, Jenn and Jessy formed an alliance and we all agreed on Lexi. Lexi going is good for me cause she doesn’t talk and she has Callie on the other tribe. So Jenn, Kait and I called and then I got off to call Molly (look at me social goddess queen of everything) and today Carson called me and wants to make a 4 with Molly, Hanne and I but also didn’t tell me that Lexi threw out Hanne’s name. So right now, the fear is that Lexi has an idol and she wants to vote out Hanne which is bad for me. Originally Kait was scared Lexi would vote her but now that she’s not she really doesn’t give a fuck if Hanne leaves. But I can’t have Hanne leave. So there’s discussion of throwing a vote but we’d have to throw 2 because there aren’t any re-votes. ANYWAYS a better confession will come when I have more than 40 minutes. Hopefully I survive long enough to make another. xoxo

https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B8U1xAckrzQWT1IweDkwOXE2eEU

hiiii  um typical hanne here doing my confessional 30 min before tribal BUT i forgot to make the video i was gonna make so this will have to suffice ummmmm i think lexi is going home but pretty sure she's voting for me bc of reasons and shareef fucked up yesterday which was rlly funny bc he added me to this alliance chat i wasn't supposed to be in so 👀 someone tell me how he won twice ANDDD i've been playing dumb as per usual to everyone when i know more than i let on :~) we'll see if it works tonight lmao