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#also hate how i cant talk about this with the one person i know would understand exactly how I'm feeling because we FUCKED our relationship
twistedastrology Β· 1 day
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- let's talk about pop astrology. -
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u can tell from the singular period in the title that this is not gonna be very positive So let's talk abt why i absolutely hate pop astrology!!!!!!!
and to be fair i will recognize what good pop astrology has done, it popularized the subject ofc and it is partially the reason i got into astrology, so while i cant be Too mad at it, i Did get into astrology thru pop astrology to essentially disprove pop astrology soo... πŸ˜΅β€πŸ’«
real quick btw, and this does actually have significance in this post im not just promoting it to promote it, i have an ig now for my astrology stuff- @twistedastrology on ig go follow me there if u fuck with ig-
But if u saw my about me post on there, you'll have seen the slide where i talked abt why i actually got into astrology- to save you some time ill put it here, but please do go follow me on ig anyway if u like what i do and wanna support me πŸ˜΅β€πŸ’«
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like i said, when i got into astrology, i instantly noticed how many of the same keywords were regurgitated for everything.
that's what i notice most in pop astrology.
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pop astrology is where everyone says cancers are crybabies, leos are narcissists, aries are hotheaded and impulsive, capricorns are cold and unemotional, geminis are two-faced, etc.
unfortunately and also fortunately at the same time, i have ungodly pattern recognition in just about everything, so of course i was gonna notice the same thing being said about the same sign and the same house and the same planet over and over again-
and to clarify before we continue (random disclaaaimeerrrrr- hey. dont do Anything that i say in this song-), this is what i personally have observed and experienced with pop astrology, im not sayin that it's All like this, but im talkin abt the very surface level, shallow kinda stuff.
that kinda stuff is what made me not resonate with my rising sign and be incredibly confused by my sun sign-
i would read "what ur like based on ur rising!!!! Cancer: U cry too much." and feel so shitty bro- id have to go look at every other sign to see which one i resonated with more and it was very rarely one of my big 3.
so naturally i was incredibly confused abt astrology but for me, that didnt deter me.
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the stereotypes and stuff offered by pop astrology are incredibly harmful and play a huge part in making people not believe in astrology as a whole.
say someone's an aries sun and they read one of those posts for aries sun right- the post says something along the lines of "ur incredibly impulsive, ambitious and extroverted!!! u probably cant control ur anger" and it doesn't resonate whatsoever because guess what their rising sign is capricorn (side note: why do i always manage to default to aries/capricorn in my examples im gonna laugh 😭😭😭) and their saturn is in cap too-
but ofc they wouldnt know their rising or their saturn sign bc those aren't focused on in pop astrology- it's all sun, moon and rising-
the sun, in my opinion, is actually one of the least important placements in a natal chart- and i can do an entire post on my take on the sun dont worry i actually rly want to- but to explain why i think that real quick, the sun is the culmination of the chart, it's not its own placement.
so every other placement in your chart has influence over it, that's why i never related to taurus sun stuff because i dont have any other earth placements in my chart and mercury in gemini is my dominant planet- so i had to look at gemini sun stuff, but i didnt know that until i was like knee deep into astrology.
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stereotypes are not only harmful, but also largely inaccurate.
and pop astrology also loves to convey the understanding that astrology can be segmented into little pieces, when it absolutely cannot.
"what drives u based on ur mars sign!! cancer mars: ur family :))))" Die.
BUT- say someone Does actually relate to that!!! there's 2 possibilities: they relate to it and they have mars in cancer OR they relate to it and they Don't have mars in cancer
in both of these scenarios, we are completely overlooking the rest of the chart-
you can't make astrology bite sized without also stripping it of all depth. but you can't deliver in depth astrology without it being overwhelming.
kind of a lose-lose, huh?
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here's where we need to understand astrology as if it is a science.
astrology is literally an ecosystem, this is how ive always viewed it. you can't interpret one planet on it's own without taking into consideration the aspects it has to it, the degree it's in, the signs that the planets aspecting it are in.
this is scary, yes, and a great way to ward off beginners, absolutely. But if you think it's scary, then you're overlooking the beauty of learning about something that's an ecosystem.
the beauty is you can't interpret one thing on its own, because everything else will follow.
you cant sit down and learn one thing, because you'll learn a whole slew of things and feel like it's never ending- which can be overwhelming for some and satisfying for others.
imagine walking on a floor covered in wires that are tangled with each other. you kneel down and try to pick up one wire and while you can see part of it clearly, it also brings up like 500 other wires for you to untangle as well.
that's what learning astrology is like.
in my experience, i picked up mercury, and mercury brought with it gemini, saturn, what sextiles are, what conjunctions are, the sun, degree theory, aries, and it just kept going.
and the more wires you pick up, the more wires they bring with them.
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this is why i hate pop astrology so much- they're picking up one wire, cutting both visible ends of it and ripping it out of tangled mess that is the floor we stand on.
now we don't know where the rest of that wire is because it was forcibly removed from the bunch.
SO! this is why i try so hard to make these posts and explain how literally Everything depends.
"what about mercury in this sign?"
"ya sure! so here's what i think it Could mean, but ultimately it depends."
"depends on..?"
"the entire rest of the chart."
"oh."
anyway i think im abt done yapping now but i hope this made sense- i think the next post i do will probably be the sun one so be on the lookout for that- and again i have an ig for astrology stuff now, link is at the top here- and i have plans to eventually probably make a tiktok as well for astrology but im still figuring that out so ill let you know what happens with that But!!!
thank u for reading i appreciate u and dont be afraid to think in depth abt vast concepts, that is where the mind is exalted πŸ™πŸ™
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nobodysgf Β· 5 months
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i hate the politics in this country, ihate how apathetic and ignorant and stupid people are here
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incorrecthpjo Β· 1 year
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I know JKR is an asshole and Hogwarts Legacy sucks and shouldn't be played at all costs but there are more than 20k deaths in Turkiye, and i feel like people care more about cancelling Rowling and pretending to care about human rights than actually caring about people and making help
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thedevotionaltour Β· 26 days
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karen is MY special white woman. my problematic fave. because i understand why she sucks. i think in order to be allowed to be a karen fan you have to actually understand why she sucks. if you don't understand why she sucks then you're a bad karen fan i think.
#i think one of fhe reasons i dont like many of her fans and what made me feel :| about liking her at first is her many like.#unconditional supporters i think. and i get it. a lot of it comes from how misogynistic ppl are about her. but like. she also sucks mega bad#this is also mostly show fans. not many ppl are talking about her in a comic context. but it's like.#there is a difference from defending her from the very real misogyny against her VS defending her every move#the same way there is a big difference between critiquing her and analyzing her as a character vs straight up misogynist hate#but it's like. oughhhhh not enough of you get her. to be fair despite my jokes i know i cant claim to mega understand her either#but i think i give a lot more thought than some others do about her.#also all her wrongs are honest to god equivalent to many other male characters in this series in terms of ''''Bad Person''''.#but we get more of a focus on it bc she is the love interest.#but like. foggy is also deeply ableist to matt too. and rude as a friend to him for a long time.#and matt sucks so bad himself. and is /deeply/ misogynist for a long time in comics.#they all have their faults and when i think about that im like it really is no sin to like her. bc many other characters in terms of the#things people very validly crit about her. not many others of this cast are better!#and it's fine. bc it's who they are as people in their story. bc this is how real life often is and of course they will not hold the same#beliefs as you the real person who can often know better than them. due to also living in a very different time period from their creations#+ where most of these runs take place.#OKAY IM DONE TLDR I like karen! she sucks! but so does everyone else in this series! so i have let myself learn it is fine#but also. ohhhhh my beef with show karen. very different from my beef with comics karen. i have a lot of very specific beef with show karen#but also. a lot of that comes less from her as a character (MAJORITY OF THE TIME. DEFINITELY TIMES WHERE IT IS OF HER OWN AS A CHARACTER BUT#STILL IMPACTED BY) THE. HM. ATTITUDES OF THAT WRITING ROOM. THE VERY PISS POOR RACIST ATTITUDES OF THAT WRITING ROOM.#so trust me. trust me i doooooo understand the hate. but there is still a hefty majority of misogyny fueled hate about her instead of her#actual character flaws and the beliefs she has and holds and acts on.#but oh a karen lover who hates elektra in show well it makes me wish that blond woman would get laser shot.#but that is besides the point. point is i love comics karen and i think it's interesting to analyze and view her#my romance comic leading lady trapped in a cape comic<\3#static.soundz
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goethitee Β· 28 days
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i think im gonna quit my job. i rlly dont think i can do this anymore. it is just so exhausting my body is falling apart i am in so much pain all the time. & it is so thankless too. i mean, thats not always true. i have clients that love me & i truly care about them & their dogs, but theres just - so many assholes. & ik thats everywhere. i get it. but i put in so much work for what? & something that i actually said to my bsf the other day - i could deal with my body falling apart if the pay was good. but it isnt!! & there isnt truly anyway for it to get better!! it was never my dream job to begin with, but i could stick with it, but i really think it is time for me to leave now, before too long & theres even more pressure for me to stay. i just cant do it anymore.
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caffeinatedopossum Β· 2 years
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I hate how even in asexual communities, it's still so hard to find other sex repulsed aces. Like idk it feels like no matter where I am, I'm the one who has a problem and I hate it. I never asked to be like this but at the same time I don't want people to keep treating me like I'm just damaged and need to be fixed. Or like it's fine as long as I don't impose it on other people...
idk how to explain to people that I'm not just internally tolerating things, I'm actually in a lot of pain over it. I'm not just disgusted, I'm panicking and upset over the fact that I feel disgust sometimes toward people I like very much actually. Idk I just feel like it's never talked about and it's extremely upsetting.
And the worst part is, if I tell people, everyone has their own assumptions about what "made me this way" and tbh that is just not something I'm comfortable with. My only choices are to either be uncomfortable because I'm panicking and being excluded from a lot of things (usually conversations but sometimes other things too) or to be uncomfortable because I set a boundary and asked people to stop and now everyone is either mad at me or making assumptions about me that I quite honestly don't think I'm okay directly addressing.
I don't know. I just wish there was some non-judgmental recognition that this makes so many things really really hard for me I guess.
#usually the assumptions are that i was sa'd and need to be 'fixed' in therapy#which is just. i dont even know how to explain how fucked up that is if you dont already see it#i dont want to talk about that with pretty much anyone. the only person ill talk to that about is my gf#and only when were alone and i know no ones going to judge me or see me breaking#i start shaking and crying and i cant stop and everytime i hear people making this assumption it puts me back in that headspace#where im so vulnerable and terrified and panicking#and i just hate it. i hate that other people can openly talk about their sexualities but mine is too personal#i do in a way want to be fixed but not with the outcome that other people would want#i just want to be okay. that is literally all i want. i still fully believe ill always be asexual#but when i tell people im sex repulsed its like they assume im secretly not asexual#i kinda think if they think that they probably also hate other asexuals but its just disguised better but idk#im just so tired of being uncomfortable all of the time. i hate it and i dont even know if its me that i hate or everyone else#id just like it to be neither someday#oh yeah also resources as in research and published studies and actually knowledgeable doctors are realllly hard to find#the majority is still overwhelming biased and believe that its a mental disorder and the result of sa too#and i just wish they would actually conduct studies without polluting them with their own biases all the time
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devotedlystrangewizard Β· 4 months
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anyway if, by the time i have figured out how to code a game, we still dont have it (and i expect we wont) i WILL make an rpg with aro "love" interests. ur protagonist can be an aroallo whore now. whats love if not the thing that some people feel sometimes. some of your allies are only down to have sex with you and will reject you outright if you try to romance them. no monogamy limits outside of maybe specific actual romances. these aros would be absolutely destroyed by the potential fandom but its ok i didnt make them for you <2
#ramblings#it wont be a big rpg i mean. solo dev moment#unless i magically get some decent classmates in school willing to back me up#OR i dare to put myself out there. on the internet. and ask for help.#but for now it is a solo thing#i like games with love interests weve all seen how i talk about my 3 da boyfriends. and gale#but man i wish we had something where sex didnt eventually lead to a romantic confession#like as an aroallo person i just think maybe it would be nice.#& like. specifically aro. you can be specifically aro. some companions would be specifically aroallo#not 'im in it for the sex but you can romance me if you do your best' no i want SEX. and SEX ALONE!#as i was writing this post i remembered how aro characters are treated (will never forget 'but shes still ace in my fic')#and yes. these characters despite being explicitly aromantic. would still get romantic fics#and yes. i would hate that happening.#but also as i said. i didnt make them for you. your toys are right there. look. fwb to lovers is overdone. go play baldur#this post WAS triggered by me thinking about baldursg despite me really liking that game#i love that game but it sucks i cant just. idk. experience my specific brand of homosexuality#listen marrying el to gale was delightful but my actual self insert character was so SO alone#and withers going 'thou hast no bosom companion why' actually made me a little mad. sorry#like no ones gonna cater to aroallos except for aroallos. i know this. but it still kinda sucked
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haemosexuality Β· 1 year
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these past few days i have been uncharacteristically. emotionally open. w my friend and it has me thinking about how truly for all of my life i just did not expect anything from anyone
#like since i was a kid i just accepted in my head that all the ''friends'' id have were ppl who either were just putting up w me (probably#bc they had no one else and i was like. what was available) or ppl who cared ab me yeah but i was still their second or third choice#and i was just like. yeah ok. i can survive w that. like consciously i made the choice to hang out w people i knew didnt really like me#bc it was better than not having anyone to talk to#did it hurt any less when those ppl eventually stopped talking to me or i learned theyve been talking about how annoying i am to others?#no it didnt. bc i still cared about Them and had Them as my first choice. but i just thought. thats just how it is. im jist not really#likeable. so ill take what i can get#when i was like 7 or 8. i had one friend at school. and she had like some issues at home or smth idk but sometimes she would just start.#treating me badly or just ignoring me for months at a time. and its not like it deeply traumatized me or anything i honestly didmt remember#this fact until like last year but the thing is that i just. accepted it. i was just like yeah ok for half of the year or so my only friend#will act like she hates me and ill have no one to talk to. thats fine. ill just wait until next year when she likes me again. at age 7. and#now im just like what the fuck man why did i just accept that as my life. through all my childhood and then with other friends in my teen#years why did i never not once try to do better for myself. yknow?#when i was 11 and in another school my best friend suddenly started not talking to me. after a month or so of this i decided to invite her#to my house to play like we had done so several times before and she just looked at me like she was confused i was talking to her at all#and said ''why?''. and i was just like. ok. thats that i guess. genuinely why did i just accept these things#and like yeah i have friends that i feel Get me now and one i love just so much and i can tell loves me back but theyre online. i dont talk#to anyone irl. i dont know how. and im happy im so happy but im also scared that im just doomed to be extremely lonely forever irl#because i am legit just not likeable. not to be a weird a weirdo but yeah im just too different from ur average person my age i cant#connect with them in any way. and i also dont know how to talk to people or make friends or to find people that are like me. ill just#not have anyone forever#i guess#especially bc now i dont hate myself enough to hang out with people i dont like so like. i dont even have that as an option skdbskdjks#Every friend i ever made happened bc the other person reached out to me first and insisted on it. all the friendships that stuck were the#gay autistic/adhd weirdonerds who can relate to my hyperfixations and dont expect me to act Normalβ„’. idk how to find the former group irl#and have never once iniciated a friendship. my fate is to be someone who has online friends only and exclusively#and dont even get me STARTED on the topic of having a girlfriend someday-#anyways. certified magnus archives moment
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rotshop Β· 11 months
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no sorry i do have more to say on this actually. this layout is so indistinguishable from twitter that i genuinely cannot see the appeal in using this site anymore because. erm. well. i have twitter right there. i can just use that if i want to. in fact i would probably like it MORE there because at least thats familiar and not some massive frankensteined overhaul of a layout that's stayed relatively the same for years upon years. yes obviously there are differences in management, but i dont like staff here either. like you all fucking remember that massive wave of bots. mobile has been a warzone. the desktop version is held together with tape and twigs.
also the excuse that this is 'to help twitter users adjust !!' is ummm bullshit and also a lie an also bullshit. like first of all that is the most condescending shit ever. every single site you use is going to take some time to learn and grow familiar with, that's just how your brain works, that makes sense. so now just totally cutting that step out is a little bit 'oh i know this is so so so so so hard for you so im going to make it unbearably easy'. do you get what im saying. also if it was just to help twitter users adjust you wouldn't make it a mandatory change for people who didn't use twitter to adapt to as well. you're literally just shifting your audience. you cant have your cake and eat it too.
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semercury Β· 3 days
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#stuff sarah says#im so just like. idk how to even describe it#i just feel really really yucky. and i have for a while#also its fucked up that good dreams bother me more than nightmares#like yeah yeah something trying to kill me blood rain and demons ripping my limbs off whatever#but an artist i look up to telling me my dreams are cool and that i shoud pursue them?#pit in my stomach for days#bc it becomes this like awkward like. thats not how it would play out. at all.#first off. people dont give me the time of day like that. and i dont want them too. im repulsive and i dont want to inflict myself on others#second even if somehow we got past that i just? i would clam up. id be so worried of saying something stupid. like i do with p much anyone#but i think it really just like. gets at the root of like. i hate myself#i really do feel like im inflicting myself upon others when im around them. nothing good is ever inflicted#im disgusting to look at and i dont think my personality is enough to make up for it#i just dont feel like anything about me makes up for the me-ness of it all#and also related but like. i hate that ill be in church and just hit with a sudden overwhelming ''i shouldnt be alive people would be better#off without me i should just die'' feeling and it happens like. every sunday#and i cant talk about it to anyone bc no one gets all the specific nuance of it all with me personally#everyones too on one side or the other and i feel like im smack dab in the middle#i wanted to talk about it more with my therapist. i briefly brought it up in one of the last few sessions but i dont get that chance anymore#he would get it. he would know the right thing. i miss him a lot. he would have a lot of the answers i need right now#idk. i feel gross. crying is making my jaw hurt for some reason?#i just really dont want to be here. i wish i had died a long long time ago. i wish i had never been born.#you know. normal sunday night thoughts. its whatever. im fine. ill always be like this.
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hamausagi Β· 26 days
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trying REALLY HARD not to be delusional
#jents#like i KNOW i need to trust him and he has no reason to cheat on me.#its just so hard when he drops everything he's doing with me to go see his ex who's still one of his best friends#and she's been away for college and he hasnt rlly talked to her or seen her in a while and she just got home so like. i get it.#and i know hes known her a LONG long time before he even met me. and they dated in like. middle school so like. whatever.#but last year he was still so hung up on her and before we dated he showed me the paragraphs upon paragraphs he wrote abt her#bc of how in love he was with her#and idk i know he loves me. and hes said he doesn't love her like that anymore. but its so fucking hard to not be jealous#i know jealousy is a terrible quality and i hate that im the psycho jealous gf and i dont wanna be overbearing#and i dont want him to know i feel this way#bc she is still one of his best friends. and they havent dated in many many many years. so i have no reason to be possessive#and he doesnt get worked up when i hang out with other men. which is nice bc my ex got worked up when i would fistbump other men.#so im really trying to be normal. its just so hard for me to trust#and im really really trying to be normal about it. its just so fucking hard and i feel terrible and guilty#it sucks bc i love her and shes so nice and fun. but damn i get so self conscious bc she matches his personality way more than i do#shes so bright and fun and loud and full of energy and im just not like that. but he's also bright and fun and loud and full of energy#theyre both so social and im not#ugh#i hate feeling this way why cant i just be normal
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valpuduzz Β· 1 month
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god im supposed to be working on a project but i think this is a venty kind of night. i dont feel good at all. im sorry (anything suicidal that im mentioning isnt meant to be taken seriously btw, im just going through it)
#the meowing of a cat 🐱#vent#i dont think i want to go to DC anymore for the con. but i also dont want to go to mexico. and i rlly dont want a job#i dont want to hang out with anyone i dont want to see anyone i want to be left alone. i want to rot in my room#i just wanna shrivel up and die and i want to kill myself#i really really want to kill myself#i really really really want to kill myself#it's really hard to cry. i feel empty and on edge and like ive been put into this earth to suffer and yet i cant cry#and oh yeah here we go. crush problems once again. im sorry my dear mutuals#i love him so much i love him i love him but. i have no right to love him. i wish my feelings never latched on to him like this#i barely talk to him except when we voice call in the server im in. i dont have the right to love him like this#i kinda just wish he could straight up just tell me he hates me so i could finally have peace of mind.#i wish i knew how to talk to him. i wish i wish i wish. but i cant. because my desperation is so obvious and i'll come off as a creep#the last thing i want to do is make him uncomfortable#i think what hurts the most is that no matter how many times i tell him he's my friend and that i love him he wont know#the extent of my feelings for him. im jealous of his close friends because i know i'll never be close or special to him#because i dont know how#i already told him how i felt a while ago in march. and you cant confess to someone again#one time is okay. two times is being much too forceful and desperate#ive been trying so so so so fucking hard to get over these feelings. he's just a fucking crush ive only know for like three months#and yet it fucking hurts so fucking bad i fucking hate it i hate that my brain has put aside the friends who actually care about me#for a crush who even though is a dear friend of mine isnt as close to me as the other people in my life#genuinely think i should kill myself for this and im not lying#i hate this so much i hate that ive been abandoning my friends for him. but i love him so much i love him so fucking much#and i cant just randomly say that out of nowhere because he's gonna know im still in love with him and he'll hate me for forcing him#my biggest fear is he forces himself to like me back. i'd never forgive myself#im so sorry to my friends but this crush shit has taken over my mind and it's not good and it's toxic and i hate it#i wish i had an excuse to leave his life but that would mean he'd think he did nothing wrong when he did nothing to me#the only person to blame in this situation is me myself and i#fuck i reached tag limit OOPS
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cicadas Β· 2 months
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If ur so socially isolated then why are you talking to me lol
#personal#idk its those people who disappear and want people to notice their absence and 2hen no one dpes they get pissed like yeah thats called life#also like maybe no one chevks pn you bc they know its just a weird manipulation game to make people perform their caring about you its gros#like ur basically punishing people for not noticing you enough and honestly u cant be mad when ppl dont miss u#actually gatekeeping myself from certain people is an extremely calculated and careful thing for me#also as slmeone whp was fprcibly socially isolated for a lot of my life it fucking annoys me when people 'choose' isolation just to be#dramatic and manipulative#like fuck you lol i dudnt get to be isolated as a means to some end#i was isolated bc people fucking bullied me#like ???? lol#ive never really understood thus but thats bc i knew that being me if i stopped talking to people they would t even pretend to care theyd j#st move on so lol its funny when normal people choose to isolate themselves and get pissy when other normies dont gaf like yeah babe thats#the world yoy normies live in why are you surprised haha#also if you choose to be isolated maybe its reasonable to assume sometimes people want to spend time alone and not everyone is responsible#for your mental wellbeing or to manage whether youre being alone to mediate abd take time for yourself or like out of depression#how is anyone supposed to know that?#quite often i just like to be alone with my son. its not that deep. but anyway i hate people that use isolation as a tool to manipulate#others bc i didnt choose this its just my life and i dont do it to bully people into treating me better actually i feel guilty about it and#wish i wasnt like this so i could do more for the people i love#alao the way people just aasume others will miss them bc their presence is SO wonderful and fulfilling πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚like girl get a grip
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hyperexplosion Β· 6 months
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#vent again just ignore please and thank you. chewing at my arm. ik why we have to wait till next year for me to get help i do know why and#i understand but it also just sucks. its at least helping though no matter what i just gotta hold on but i rly dont want to hold on anymore#id say i sound pathetic or worthless but im not. ik im not. talked about mental health with my best friend today snd idk made me so self#aware of myself i feel gross and ugly. i cant even look in mirror by how ugly i am. i want to drink. i really want to drink. it sucks.#ditched or the person seems bored.. there's no point lmai.#the craving sucks. im sleepin almost all day and than night fucking sucks. i should be sleeping now but i need to write my thoughts out or#i will feel worse i will feel so much worse snd i dont want to be a burden. i dont want to bother people. i hope when im like.. getting hel#and getting better i hope i can like idk not be afraid to ask people to vibe with me. maybe one day but im so scared amount i have been#and sorry tired of hearing same 'just do something distract yourself' yeah only so much a distraction is s distraction. i never felt this#low.. i never felt this low for months now. im so tired idk this week is busy maybe that will help. maybe decorating for my fav holiday wil#help my brain a little. than again why would she want me around. i think about how dad asked mom if i was okay on my birthday. is the facad#fading? are people catching on? i need to stop before i see my brother on friday. even my best friend noticed he hugged me but i didnt even#hug back i just leaned into him for awhile before moving away. i want to die. will i? no. i wont. im too scared. but i want to.#i can sleep now.#i think people should stop lying i hate liars i am not afraid to drop anyone that does.
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snekdood Β· 9 months
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anyways if nick fartez and any of his skeevy fans are spying on me online I needja to know this: no one will ever love you or like you or fuck you and its all your fault bc your a nazi. the only way you'll ever get anything is if you rape someone and you and I both know that doesnt mean shit except how desperate you are to stick your dick in someone and how much you're willing to violate people who actively dislike you and would never be around you if it was their choice. it didn't hafta be this way but you decided being a ugly skeevy nazi was more important than anything, which is sad. honestly jump off a cliff, save yourself the time.
#posting this bc idk where I saw the clip maybe a vaush video or keffals or some shit but he mentions his 'jewish bully' which he says in a#way thats obvious he doesnt actually have one but seems like a direct reference to me and how I would vent about having a bully who was#jewish also. but the whole point I was making in the first place is that her being jewish has nothing to do with her being a bully. its#whatever trauma that made her so shitty bc otherwise her sister was really nice to me and we got along and were friends#just thought I should post this to remind them since they probably hate watch me and try to see me as a lolcow to compensate#for their own shitty fuckless lives.#hey at least I can get some lmao.#really makes me wonder though. who exactly is reporting to him about me? I WONDER if its the same person I keep kinda#coming to the conclusion about that theyre secretly a alt righter which is why they desperately try to paint me as one.#i mean hey bud! why were you writing lyrics to a song about hitler on your kupika?#im sure you're so so happy that that website is taken down. too bad I have screenshots and video evidence of it huh 😒#+everything else about you and your history ik about and the shit you cover up like. it kinda seems like its compiling into one thing.#innit ya channer? hey at least I thought those conspiracy theories were about something else entirely. you prolly know exactly what#theyre referencing. which is probably why when I started talking about them not knowing what they really meant you instead#saw it as an opportunity to take down a trans person. and also why you somehow knew about the β€œbohemian grove” and were the#first person to tell me about it. but whatever no ones gonna believe me... for now.#cant wait for the day your ass gets exposed for the shitty skeevy fuck you really are xoxoxo#though who knows. maybe nick and his fuckless followers picked up on me from vaush's chat. but honestly I feel like i'm such a nobody ass#person on there that idk why they would. so kinda think its someone else. someone who might've been following me for longer.......#and was the first person to tell me about the bohemian grove and also enabled and egged on the conspircy theory beliefs πŸ€”πŸ€”πŸ€”πŸ€”
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hannieehaee Β· 2 months
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18+ / mdi
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content: coworker!jk, sub!jk, afab reader, confession, reader is mean to jk, plot moves super fast to get to the smut lol, smut, handjob, oral (f receiving) penetrative sex, etc.
wc: 2570
a/n: this is loosely based off an audio i heard once but i cant remember where</3 also not 100% proofread
masterlist
"yeah, you should probably ask jungkook for help with that, he's actually really good with those forms. he has the whole process memorized," jungkook heard namjoon say from his desk, though he was unable to spot who he was talking to.
he decided to not question it, continuing his work while mentally preparing himself to help any coworker who might stop by to see him.
however, his work was promptly interrupted when he heard a chair pull back and steps head in the direction of his cubicle, looking up to find you and namjoon standing over him, a smile on joon's face and an annoyed frown on yours.
jungkook knew that frown was reserved specifically for him, as he knew you were quite nice to literally everyone else in the office. he seemed to be the one exception, somehow undeserving of your politeness no matter what he did.
"hey, kook. would you mind helping y/n here with these forms? it should only take you about twenty minutes. i know it's staying a bit later than you usually do, but i have a date and i really have to go if i wanna beat tra-"
"it's fine, joon, don't worry," jungkook interrupted. as much as he didn't want to stay late with you, noticing that everyone else had already left, he also could not find it in himself to say no to joon – or to you, for that matter.
as embarrassing as it was to admit, jungkook had a huge crush on you. sure, you were always mean and short in words with him, but he couldnt help himself. he had come to realize that your personality was sweet and bubbly, despite never showing that side of yourself to him. even if you hated him for some reason, he liked to spend time with you whenever possible, hoping that maybe you'd change your mind about your negative feelings for him.
"okay, great. thank you so much, jungkook," he then turned to you, "i'm leaving you in great hands, i promise," he declared before bidding his goodbyes to the two of you, taking his leave and leaving the two of you alone in the empty office.
turning his chair to look at you, jungkook offered you an awkward smile as he got up, grabbing a few papers from a drawer nearby in order to help you figure out the form you needed assistance with.
you seemed annoyed despite his helpful disposition, but jungkook chose to ignore it, simply walking over to an empty table nearby and gesturing for you to follow him there. he chose not to take a seat, knowing this would probably be quick and also feeling slightly awkward at sharing a table with you for some reason. he'd rather keep his eyes down and on the paperwork.
"okay, uh, what is it that you're confused about?", he finally asked.
"nothing, jungkook. i didn't realize namjoon would drag you into this if i asked him for help. you don't have to act like you want to help me, you can just go home," you said in a deadpan tone.
"'act like i want to help you'? what do you mean?" he cocked his head to the side, "i really don't mind helping you."
"please, jungkook, you look like you'd rather be anywhere but here," you shot at him, completely disregarding the paperwork he'd pulled out.
"that's not true! i'd love to help you. you could've asked me and i would've helped you out with no issue," he argued back, suddenly feeling quite passionate about the subject.
"i don't believe you."
it was hard for jungkook to not grow frustrated at how short and unreasonable you were in your words. how was he even supposed to help you when you clearly despised his presence? all he wanted to do was build some sort of bridge with you. why were you so pleasant with namjoon but willing to pick a fight with him just after mere minutes together?
"what do you want me to say? i want to help you. id help you with anything you ask, but you're always either ignoring me or avoiding me while you're nice to everyone else. i don't understand what i did wrong. did- did i do something to you? do you just not like me?", jungkook finally let out, growing more emotional by the word.
"i don't like it! i don't like how you act with others. you're- you're too nice!", you almost shouted back, inexplicably frustrated.
"i- what? i'm too nice? what does that even mean? i-"
"i don't like that you're nice to everyone else! i hate it! i've seen the way you flirt with the receptionists and hang around the coffee cart with lia. you're so nice to everyone else but can't even speak a word to me. it's so annoying – you're so annoying. you know what, i'm just gonna go. i'll ask joon for help tomorrow morning," you ranted, red in the face and out of breath as you turned around and marched away.
jungkook almost couldn't function after your sudden outburst, but luckily got a hold of his senses before you could walk away, surprising both you and himself when his arm went out to grab onto yours and stop you.
"wait," he breathed out, "it-it's not at all how you think. flirt? i- i don't mean to make it seem that way. i- i've never flirted with anyone at the office. i'm just trying to be nice, and- and i've never meant to make you feel like i'm only not nice to you. you just ... you intimidate me so much," he winced at his own admission, "i'm sorry, i ... you've always been so cold with me, i just assumed you hated me and tried to stay out of your way. i don't hate you. at all. it's not like that at all," he rambled, "i like you. so much. you have no idea, i- wait, wait no, i- fuck."
his eyes widened at his accidental confession, making him stop in his tracks and let go of your arm, far too embarrassed to even make eye contact with you anymore. he couldn't even gauge your reaction to his words before shutting his eyes close and scrunching up his nose in embarrassment, looking down at your feet rather than yourself.
"i- i didn't mean that. no, i did, but, i just- fuck, it wasn't-"
"jungkook, stop," you instructed, stepping towards him decidedly. but jungkook wouldnt budge. he stayed still and avoided your eyes as much as he could, making even a further embarrassment of himself.
suddenly his head was lifted up by a pair of arms that belonged to you, forcing his head to turn in your direction and being pulled towards you, his surprised yelp interrupted halfway as your lips locked with his own.
he moaned in surprise, unable to process what was going on as his lips attempted to follow your own. you led the kiss, licking into his mouth and molding his lips however you so wished. there were no complaints from jungkook, just delighted confusion. he couldn't bring himself to question you when kissing you just felt so damn good.
but his brain caught up to him soon enough, making him pull away with a gasp, "wait, i- does this mean-" but he was interrupted with another wet kiss, "d-do you like me ba-" and another, and another, and another one on top of that.
the two of you made out for a few moments before you finally pulled away from him, this time having him pathetically follow your lips as if in a trance.
"i do, jungkook. i like you. i ... i guess i was just jealous of all the attention you gave everyone else that i didnt realize it might've been my fault," you revealed sheepishly, though your hands were still tightly holding onto his hair.
"fuck, really? you like me back? i- shit," he couldnt help the embarrassingly big grin that took over his face, "can i ... can i kiss you again?", he murmured after calming himself down.
you nodded and leaned in again, immediately sticking your tongue in his mouth and pulling him towards you. after making out for a few short moments, you walked yourself back onto a table nearby, sitting yourself on it as jungkook stayed standing between your legs. wrapping your legs around him, you brought him even closer to you, the kiss getting steamier.
"kookie ..." you breathed out, kissing your way to his ear, "will you be good for me and get on your knees?", you murmured with a sensual lick to his lobe.
shuddering, he nodded, kneeling and allowing you to trap him between your lace-clad legs. his hands were not shy in feeling up your legs, adoring the lace tights adorning your gorgeous legs.
"can i rip them off? need to feel your legs ... fuck, ive thought about kissing up your thighs so many times ... so pretty n soft. please?", he pleaded as his pretty eyes stared up at you.
nodding, you gave him the green light, gasping when he easily ripped them apart and brought you closet to him, pushing up your skirt so he could play with you as he pleased. his lips trailed up and down the plush skin of your thighs, suckling a few love bites onto the skin before dragging his tongue over them as an apology. he dragged his nose along the length of your thighs, seemingly catching scent of your essence as he moaned. soon enough, the pretty spot between your legs drew him in far too much, causing him to dig his face between your thighs snd breathe you in, groaning in ecstasy when your thighs wrapped around his head, trapping him.
"oh, god, please keep doing that," he groaned into you, "wrap your thighs around me ... wanna make you feel so good while you grind on my face ...", those were his last words before pushing your panties to the side and licking into your cunt.
he moaned and cried like a depraved man against you, begging you to grind against him and suffocate him between your legs. his hands pulled you closer by your hips, encouraging the canting of your hips against his face. his nose dug into your clit, nuzzling it while his tongue worked itself into your pussy.
jungkook had you on cloud nine with his pathetic desperation, letting out never-ending pleas into your cunt and somehow still begging for more.
"taste so fucking good, oh fuck- it's so good. prettiest fucking pussy," he cried when your hands dug particularly hard into his hair, pushing him in and allowing him no escape.
"kookie, oh, kookie! i'm almost there, please don't stop, i- i'm right there, baby," you cried out as he sped up his movements, absolutely desperate for your orgasm.
he proudly claimed your orgasm on his tongue, hesitant in pulling away from your cunt as he would've stayed there forever if given the option. but this thought was overthrown the moment you pulled him up by the hair and stuck your tongue in his mouth to taste yourself, once again initiating a series of sensual kisses that had him feeling dizzy.
at some point your hand came out to play with his cock, pulling it out from underneath the dress pants you had seemingly unbuttoned while he was too distracted kissing you. he groaned into your lips as you slowly jerked him, pulling away to kiss his neck and whisper all the dirty things you wanted to do with him.
the mere suggestion of getting to fuck you caught his attention, making him plea at you to stop jerking him so he could bend you over the table and have his way with you.
"are you sure, kookie? don't you want my hand? my tongue?", you tormented him as your hand sped up.
"n-no ... cunt- need your cunt so fucking bad. please, just- just turn around, baby," he begged pathetically, helping you flip over when you finally budged.
he ripped off his shirt snd threw off his shoes and pants while you bent over, wiggling your ass at him to provoke him – which you very much did. you were still wearing a shirt and your skirt, but jungkook would worry about seeing your tits some other day. for now all he cared about was slipping off your pretty skirt snd uncovering your even prettier pussy.
lowering your skirt and panties low enough to reveal your ass, jungkook groaned at the view – so pretty and bent over just for him. the thought of your gorgeous body ready for him to use almost made him short-circuit, he knew he'd burst almost immediately after entering you, but luckily an experimental drag of his fingers against your folds revealed to him that you were also at the brink.
"can't believe i get to fuck you, baby. wanted this since the moment i saw you," he breathed out before beginning to ease into you, "oh ... fuck, shit, it's so warm ... so wet and warm, oh, baby ..." all ability to form a coherent sentence left him after that. his hips quickly took over, slamming into you while you whined his name in the prettiest cries he had ever heard. his eyes rolled back in absolute pleasure, hand uncontrollably digging in place to play with your clit, only causing you to tighten up even more.
"kookie ... you're so fucking big ... fuck, fill me up so good," you swore, pushing your hips back into his own.
"i know, pretty, i know," he managed to breath out just when his orgasm began to approach, "i'm gonna cum, baby, fuck. please tell me you're there too ... need you to cum with me, please?", he pleaded as his hips lost all finesse, now humping wildly into you.
"y-yes! i'm there, fuck- just- just cum with me, kookie, i- fuck!"
your own orgasm was all he needed to finally let go, continuing to fuck into you throughout his orgasm, emptying himself inside you with high put he'd whines of your name. the empty office was filled with nasty noises of skin slapping and senseless cries coming from one another.
once finished, he let himself fall into you a bit, though still not putting his full weight on you. with a wince, he eventually pulled off and groaned at the liquids leaking from his dick. he went to grab a few paper towels from nearby to clean you up a bit before helping you sit up and even sneaking in a peck to your cheek in the process.
"does this mean you like me ...?", he asked regardless of how redundant the question seemed.
"jungkook, you idiot," you chuckled, "yes, i like you."
"thank god," he mumbled under his breath, "i, uh, do you think maybe you'd wanna go home with me tonight? or is that too much too soon? sorry, i'm getting ahead of myself, hah-"
"kook, stop. i'd love to go home with you," you smiled at him, pulling him in for yet another kiss, falling in a makeout session again.
the two of you kissed softly for a while, maybe too softly for what you'd just done together in your workplace. but jungkook didn't think of that at the moment. all that he cared about was taking you home and repeating it all over again.
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