#also i found 4 things i needed to fix so yeah

[liveontelevision]

Suffer Pt. 4 | Lucifer x Reader

The time has come, babes, this could be the final part

I wanna say this part is 18+ , so MINORS go away

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3

♡♡♡

"I'll see you, Lucifer."

"I hope so."

Even with high hopes, Lucifer anxiously paces his own workshop, twisting his grip on his cane and watching the minutes pass by. Literally. He would either pull out his phone and check the time, or peak up at the novelty clock hanging nearby, and scoff at how little time has passed since the last time he decided to look. To occupy his time, he would rummage through his piles of squeaky creations, scanning over them as if he had anything on his mind other than you. He'd walk in front of a mirror, fixing his lapels, straightening his tie, then questioning whether or not he should just change entirely. With one more pacing lap around the small room, he stopped in front of the mirror again, while brushing his hair back with his claws. The sudden glimmer of his wedding band reflecting some light caught his attention. He froze in front of his reflection, then shifted his gaze down to his left hand. He twisted it around as if he never noticed it until now, even after wearing it for 10,000 years. Why is it bugging him now?

Oh, yeah. He was about to see you in just a few minutes.

But that shouldn't upset him, you two were becoming friends again.

Lucifer broke his gaze from his hand and looked towards the large family painting still hung on the wall. He couldn't take it down. He had no idea why Lillith left, for all he knows, it could've been a perfectly valid reason. But she looks so happy in that picture. In fact, they all looked so happy. How did that happen? A combination of the clock chiming, and an alarm he set the day before, going off at the same time made him jump. He fumbled his phone into his suddenly sweaty claws, letting out a nervous yelp. 

3:01PM

"Aw, Hell! I'm late!" Before snapping his fingers to open a portal to the hotel, he mindlessly slipped the ring off his finger and placed it carefully on his desk, leaving it alongside a family portrait.

— 

You hummed your usual tune, the same one that calmed you and young Charlie, as you twisted and turned to examine your outfit. You were almost as nervous as Lucifer was. Well.. not really. He was a wreck. But why should you be nervous? Why would he be nervous? You two only agreed to meet up at the hotel and.. catch up some more. No activities were really planned, it was as if you simply wanted to hear each other's voices again. As if the late-night calls you were having weren't enough. It was a nice change though. No matter how late you were talking to each other, you slept like a rock the rest of the night. No need for some silly radio anymore.

Speaking of,

"Alastor, what did I say about knocking? Or even going through the door in general?" You questioned out loud, not even looking away from your figure in the reflection. The radio on your nightstand suddenly started playing a barely recognizable old-timey tune, and you could feel the radio static sensation growing in your chest, so you felt no need to break your concentration to look his way. You heard your bed creek next, only peeking in your reflection for a moment to catch Alastor sitting cross-legged on the edge of your bed.

"Isn't today your weekly Rosie visit? What do you want?" It's not like he was bugging you, but recently Alastor had been keeping close quarters. You found him sitting next to you a lot, a little too close, during exercises. Which was strange, considering he never really attended exercises until recently.

Obviously, he's been inviting himself into your room without permission, which caused him to interrupt some phone calls with the king. He's also been inviting you out to Cannibal Town more often, and even bringing some unannounced fresh-cooked meals for you. You wouldn't admit to the cannibal thing, but it's hard to avoid it after working in that bakery for so long. You didn't mind it, as long as it wasn't.. rare. So, you suppose it was nice of him to cook for you. 

"Indeed! I’m assuming you'll be joining me, that is why you’re dressing so formally, correct? Rosie's been talking about you quite a lot, considering you've missed our last few outings." You could hear his teeth clench while he spoke his final words.

"All good things, I hope?" You had moved on to looking through a little jewelry box, occasionally pulling out necklaces and holding them up in the mirror to see how it'd look on you.

"Of course!" Alastor reassures, rising from the bed to stand behind you, his hands gently placed on your shoulders. He has to bend at the hips a bit to see his own face in the shorter mirror.

"Then, I'm sure she can handle one more lunch date without me. I'll join next time." You said, still rummaging through the little trinket box. With a victorious hum, you pulled out a little golden chain, with a snake charm that swirled into an S shape.

As you held it up to your neck, like you did with the rest, you felt Alastor's hands shift from your shoulders to take each end of the necklace, carefully pulling the chain around your neck to fasten it in the back. With a quick thank you, you pulled your hair to the side to assist him. His breath was hot against the back of your neck, sending an instinctive shiver down your spine. Alastor started to feel a bit flushed at the sensation, which surprised even him. The thought of sinking his teeth into the softest part of your neck, doing anything to keep your mind off of that damned angel, immediately flooded his mind. He fastened the necklace quickly, pulling away as fast as he could after that grotesque thought crossed his mind. He was sure that he was just hungry. He cleared his throat, stepping a good few feet away from you.

"So? How's this? Does it look okay with the dress?" Oh, it did. You tried your best to not concern yourself over what you wore, but Lucifer was always one to dress in his finest suits, so you'd hope to meet him at least halfway. Excuse the phrasing, but God bless Angel and his eye for fashion. You arrived in Hell before Charlie was even born, then essentially worked in uniforms up until you arrived in the hotel. Emphasizing that this was not a date, Angel found you a pretty little purple dress. It was perfectly fine as is, with thin straps, a skirt hugging your hips just slightly and stopping right below where your thighs meet. But he insisted you "spice it up", accessorizing you with a patterned corset, decorated in leafy designs and tied together with a silky ribbon at your back. It took you hours of convincing to even put it on for today. All this for just a hangout. What would you even do? Have dinner? Would Lucifer go into Pentagram City with you? What would happen if you stayed in the hotel? 

"Not exactly my style, I prefer something with more.. coverage. But you look lovely either way." Alastor's words broke your train of thought and you immediately turned red, embarrassed by how lost in your own thoughts you got. You recovered and rolled your eyes at him, finding your phone and looking through it.

"I don't know why I asked, it's not like I'm dressing up for you." You said, Alastor watching you as you swipe through something and then smile at your phone.

"Then who might you be dressing up for, might I ask?" He asked with a sly grin, leaning foward on his cane, craning his neck to look at your whatever could be making you smile so brightly. You pulled your phone to your chest and glared at him.

"No one! ..Me! I'm dressing for myself! Is there a problem with that, Al?" You let out a little humph, before checking the time on your phone.

"He should be here soon.." you said softly, almost hoping he didn't hear you. "Tell Rosie I said hi, will you? I'm seeing Lucifer today." You said quickly as you left your room, hoping you could avoid his response by leaving in a hurry. Luckily you did. You felt the static running through you soften as you went down the stairs, looking at your phone as you did. With one more mental pep talk, you took a deep breath and opened the hotel's double doors.

"Heyyyy! You!" Lucifer stood eagerly, without a ring to fiddle with, he toyed with his clawed hands behind his back. You should respond. You should greet him, say hi, welcome him in, anything. But he stood there wearing a plum and black purple blazer, that stopped just at his waist. It was fitted nicely over a ruffled black top and dark trousers. Before you could stop yourself, you realized you had let your eyes trace his body up and down. Quickly meeting his eyes with a reddened face, you nervously chuckle, stepping aside to let him in.

"S-Sorry.. I- uhh.. Hi. Lucifer." You finally greet him, shutting the door as he enters the hotel.

"You look nice. Purple always looked good on you." He stated out loud. Purple? When was the last time you wore anything purple? Looking around the hotel, he examined any detail he might have missed from his last visit. Of course, that wasn't what he was really doing. He was trying his hardest to keep his eyes off of you, needing to let his heart rate slow.

After finally calming himself down, he turns to you with a grin, opening his mouth to say something- but what he saw was you gripping onto the hem of your skirt with a nervous look on your face, your eyes wide.

Purple always looked good on you.

"Are you okay? Sorry, did I - uh.. should I - " you quickly step away from him, waving your hands.

"N-No! You're fine! I'm okay, I just uh.. dinner! You want something to eat? Or.. we can check out the city-" Desperately trying to take the topic off your feelings, you threw out some ideas for the night.

"Oh! Okay, Dinner sounds great! We should probably stay in the hotel, but will.. will anyone else be joining us..?" He looked around the clearly empty room.

"Charlie and Vaggie just left to try and recruit some sinners, Angel's working and Husk avoids people if no one's the bar, so.. I think that it might just be us." You smiled. Why were you smiling? Maybe because they're contagious. 

Alastor. The familiar grinning face comes trailing down the stairs, greeting you and you alone.

"Oh! Your Highness, I had no idea we'd have company!" He walked behind you, placing his hands on your shoulders again as he looked down at Lucifer.

"Al, I told you he was coming by." You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms over your chest. Lucifer glared, immediately breaking the contact from him to look at you.

"Will he be joining?" Lucifer asked, in an agitated low tone.

"No, he's busy. Right? You were just leaving for Cannibal Town." You stressed, turning your head to look up at the towering demon. Lucifer wondered how you weren't intimidated by him? Your head barely reached the center of his chest.

"Of course, I wouldn't want to intrude! Just be careful with our little doll here, your majesty." He says, then leans closer to the crook of your neck. "And I thought I'd bring your cardigan, dear, it's a tad cold today." The sweater suddenly appears in his hands and he drapes it over your shoulders. It felt heavier than usual.

"Oh, um.. thanks.. Al." You clear your throat, shooting him the best smile you could muster in this embarrassing moment.

"Have fun with Rosie!" You finally said, essentially pushing Alastor out of the hotel's doors. None of that had to happen, he could've easily phased his way out of the hotel and you knew that. With a final sigh, you went back to Lucifer, taking off the sweater and folding it, before draping it over the couch in the lobby.

"What, not cold anymore? He was just trying to be nice." As much as you'd like to hear that as a joke, it had a sense of discomfort to it. You knew Lucifer didn't like Alastor; he made that clear multiple times. Considering he's been so kind to you though, you thought you had to at least try to defend him. But with Alastor's recent actions, and just how.. touchy... he's been, it's getter harder to try and explain his actions.

"It's Hell, Lucifer, it's never cold. It doesn't go with the dress anyway. Now, c’mon. I can make something quick in the kitchen." Trying to move past the subject, you take hold of his hand and guide him to the kitchen area.

You definitely cooked a lot more since you stayed in the hotel. Despite your mild cannibalistic tendencies, you loved making regular, flesh-free, food for everyone else. It was just who you are, you loved to dote. At this point, you were making meals for everyone, cooking specific courses for certain demons. Specializing in their favorites. It was no different than how you were when you were taking care of Charlie. A messy toddler had a constantly changing appetite, and Lucifer always seemed to admire how well you could keep up with that. I mean.. despite kissing a married king, who was also your boss, you were actually good at your job.

The cooking process went by fast, you put on an apron before starting to cook, which Lucifer could argue looked adorable on you. But he would never admit it. He simply sat on a nearby counter, his legs crossed over each other as he leaned back on the palm of his hands. You recreated something that used to be a favorite back at the manor, and of course, it was delicious. The two of you didn't even make it to the table. You plated everything and went towards the door, but before you could leave, you turned to see Lucifer already working on his plate as he sat on the counter. You laughed at him, before attempting to join his side. This was probably for the best, sitting at a table while eating seemed so.. Date-y.

You struggled to hop up to the counter without flashing anyone. Dammit, Angel. With a quick motion, Lucifer had his hands on your waist and he lifted you with ease onto the cold tabletop. With a nervous exchange of thanks, he hikes back up the counter and sits next to you. It felt ridiculous to examine the entire moment. Here you are, sitting on the edge of the damn kitchen counters with Lucifer, kicking your legs every now and then, laughing at jokes and just.. enjoying everything. He made you glad you lived in Hell.

The plates now set aside, Lucifer had turned to face you, his crossed leg lightly brushing against yours as he recalled some embarrassing things that Charlie did when she was growing up. Things that happened after you left.

"Oh it was bad, we don't even know what she used to dye her hair but it was not easy to get out. You know.. Teenager stuff, I guess." He showed off some images from his phone, making you lean into his shoulder to catch a better glance. You found yourself leaning past Lucifer, your sides fully together at this point. Lucifer braces himself up with his hand behind your back. When you finally had enough of the pictures of Charlie in her emo-phase, you sat straight, making Lucifer's arm shift to the small of your back. You hummed quietly at his touch.

Don't do this. Don't ruin this, not again.

"Dishes! I'll um.. let me clean up and we can find somewhere with actual chairs.." You hopped off the counter, stumbling a bit before leaning into the sink and starting the water. Before you could even start scrubbing, the dishes simply poofed from your hands and into the drying rack at the side of the sink, sparkling clean.

"Oh, right.. Angelic powers." You laughed nervously, looking around the room for a moment.

Finally deciding that the air was too thick with some kind of tension, you gestured him out of the room and showed him off to the small book room. You didn't go in here often, but it was either this or your bedroom.. Obviously, that wouldn’t end well.

Taking a seat on the little sofa in the room, you managed to get the conversation back on a regular topic, complaining about some customers you used to deal with while working in Cannibal Town. He finally went on a rant about his rubber duck fixation, which baffled you but didn't really surprise you.

The conversations didn't last long. It was bound to happen. Alone in the hotel? Catching up after all these years of built-up tension? It started with Lucifer placing his hand on the small of your back, something that has always given you butterflies. It didn't feel the same when Alastor would do it. Lucifer's hands were obviously smaller, but they were so gentle. And he had no intent on pulling you closer or keeping you sitting upright, he was doing it just so he could touch you. Your hands had traveled in between the two of you, supporting you as you leaned into him. The room was silent, but your thoughts were screaming in your head. He's hurt you before. He's just been alone for too long, this isn't anything special. Don't make the same mistake.

Staring into each other's glazed-over eyes, unsure of how to proceed but unwilling to move away, he finally bites the bullet. Raising his free hand to caress the side of your face, brushing a few strands of hair away, you place your hand overtop of his, relishing in his gentle touch. You felt his hand flinch a bit at your actions, but when you fluttered your eyes shut and leaned into his palm, he immediately felt at ease. He moves his hand towards him just slightly to better bring you closer. Your foreheads now pressed together, all your concerns went away. This wasn't like before. You felt so safe with him, there was no fear of things going wrong or being ruined. Not anymore. Not at this moment. Your comfort was disrupted by his quiet voice.

"A-Are you sure about this.? Can I.. Maybe we should just-" Shut him up. You muffled any other worried thoughts he might have by placing a gentle and quick kiss on his lips. His eyes widened just for a moment, looking surprised despite all that's happened beforehand. Suddenly desperate, he pulls you in, making your lips meet again in a long, long, overdue embrace.

You were just as desperate for this. All you could think of was how gentle he was being, even with the eagerness of his quickening breath. You leaned in more, forcing Lucifer to prop himself up with his hand beside him. You kept leaning. At this point he's taken both his hands off of you, needing to brace himself up. Your lips never pull apart. You placed your hands on his chest, moving underneath his jacket, and onto his shirt, just to be even the slightest bit closer to him. Suddenly processing the position, Lucifer shifted his leg to allow you to crawl closer to him. You were careful, you knew this was long overdue, but it'd be a bad idea to do anything too intense right now. It would overwhelm both of you. Still, finally breaking your kiss, you pushed back to assess his beautiful expression. He looked disappointed. Almost runny eyes, he was propped up by his elbows while you kelt your hands placed on his chest. His porcelain skin contrasted with the red glow across his cheeks.

"You okay, Lucifer?" You asked softly, reaching a hand to brush some strands of hair back into place. He only nodded, before returning a hand onto your back and pulling you on top of him, deepening the kiss you had so rudely interrupted. You felt his hand pull away for a moment, and heard him snap his fingers. You heard the door shut. Then you heard it lock. That made you as nervous as it did relieved. Pulling away for a moment you decide to tease him.

"What, you couldn't have done that before?" You said slyly with a smirk on your face. With a sarcastic laugh, he pressed a kiss onto your smile. Neither of you could believe what was going on right now.

Both your breaths were becoming heavy, Lucifer had scooted to rest his back on the arm of the couch, he pulled you closer and rested his hands around your waist. Neither of you had made the decision to go any farther than enjoying each other's lips yet, but at the same time, you wouldn't complain about staying connected to him like this forever. He reached back and tugged on the silky ribbon of your corset, maybe not as an invitation, but to find something to fiddle with to keep his nerves at bay. You weren't sure. But there was no harm in assuming, right? You took hold of his hand, which still held one of the laces, and guided it to pull it completely loose. It wasn't covering anything, it just loosened the fit of your dress. It wasn't like you were stripping for him. But his face was absolutely flushed by the action.

Letting the corset belt drop to the ground, you leaned forward and ran your hands up his chest. Moving to the inside of his coat, you slipped your fingers over his shoulders to guide the jacket off of him. With some more shifting and adjusting, you both sat straight. Lucifer found himself dragging his lips to your chin, then your jawline, guiding your head to tilt back for easier access. Pulling your body against his with one hand, he cradled your head with the other, running his claws gently across your scalp before doing so. The action sent shivers down your spine, almost a relieving sensation to your hot skin.

He speckled kisses down your neck, taking his time to cover every inch of you. You could feel his labored breath against your skin every time you let out a little moan or hum. He ran his hand down your shoulder, hooking the strap of your dress with his thumb and moving it aside, careful not to undress too much. Not yet. With the newfound space, he nipped at your skin, making you yelp quietly. You quickly place a hand over your mouth, embarrassed by the sounds coming from you. Lucifer was not going to let that happen. He traced your arm, running his fingers along your skin, and gently pulled your hand away from your mouth.

"W-What - " You could barely question him, before he forced another yelp from you, sinking his teeth into your shoulder just a bit deeper this time. He hummed at your finally unmuffled voice, taking your hand that he had been holding and guiding it to his head. You immediately took hold of his hair, gripping just lightly, something to keep you from floating away, while he continued to work across your collarbone. Feeling a light suction, you gasped and yanked on his hair, pulling his face away from your chest.

"N-No, no marks! Don't be.. mm... s-stupid.." you scolded, as he leaned down, and ran his tongue up the length of your neck.

"What if I put them somewhere only I can see?" He had moved to your ear at this point, kissing the crook of your jaw as he spoke so sweetly against your skin. Ooh, fuck, you wanted that. Bad.

You took a hold of his jaw and pulled him back up to your lips. Placing your thumb along the bottom of his lip, you opened his mouth a bit, inviting yourself into his mouth. Tracing his lower lip with your tongue, you slid inside, his tongue feverishly following suit. The sensation forced a quiet whimper out of Lucifer, you felt his body weight droop for a moment, falling forward and pushing you onto your back. Caging you in with his arms, he refused to pull away, even if he needed to breathe.

You pushed his chest slightly, and he immediately pulled away, his lustful gaze turning to concern. You watched him catch his breath. While he was panting, you could see his forked tongue just slightly hanging from his lips, which were glossy from the messy and desperate kisses you'd been exchanging. You looked up and down his body for a second. Keeping your hands on his chest, you smoothed over his shoulders, before pulling him back in for another kiss. With your hands still near his chest, you reached towards the clasps of his shirt, beginning to work the expensive feeling fabric off of him. You could feel the heat radiating from his skin. You ran your closer hands across his bare chest, once completely undone. He was overheated and panting, you were just helping him, obviously. You'd say anything to convince yourself that what your doing was okay. Why wasn't it okay, again?

"It's okay, babe, we'll try again later." A saddened groan was muffled through the closed door. Oh. Right. You heard Vaggie comforting a frustrated Charlie just outside the room. You both looked at each other with widened eyes, probably for longer than you should’ve. It was a mixture of disappointment and anxiety. And a little bit of consideration, that maybe they won't check the room if you're quiet. The set of footsteps was coming closer, possibly passing the room to go up the stairs, but it finally forced you out of your head.

You pushed him off of you, desperately making as much distance as possible. The motion of pushing him from his chest, which your hands were so sweetly caressing moments before, took the air out of his lungs, forcing out a loud groan. Hushing him as if you weren't the reason he was wheezing, you struggle to get your corset back on. Finally giving in, you threw it over the back of the couch and took hold of your trusty sweater that was still draped over the back of the couch. You scrambled to put it on. Lucifer simply snapped his fingers to fix up his hair and return his suddenly clean and crisp top back on him. You also heard him unlocking the door.

"Fucking angelic magic.." you muttered, out of breath from your little frantic display. He lets out a cocky chuckle. Taking the risk, he pulls you in for one more quick kiss. His hand lingered on your cheek for a moment, his eyes absolutely sparkling just at the sight of you.

His hand slipped away quickly once the door opened.

"Holy shit- dad?? You didn't tell me you were visiting!" Charlie held onto the handle as the door was opened, Vaggie stood beside her looking just as confused. Before you could acknowledge it, Lucifer gestured to the little coffee table in front of the couch, with some random board game sprawled out on it. When did that get there?

"Heyy Sweetie- well, I-I uh.. we were just catching up, ya know, playing some games. The.. usual.." He grinned nervously, picking up some random game piece and observing it like he knew what it was for.

"Yeah, don't worry Charlie, I'm kicking his ass." You said smoothly, smiling at him when he turned towards you with a glare. You were definitely better at acting casual than he was.

"Oh! Well.. okay, then! Maybe we can all get a game in before you go!" Charlie planned out, already walking off. Lucifer sent a sweet smile and a little wave to Vaggie. She returned the greeting, a comforted smile on her face as she followed after Charlie.

"Well! That was-" Lucifer turned to you with a nervous expression, scratching at the top of his hand.

"- A close call?" you said through some chuckles, "but.. good. It was good." You tucked a strand of hair behind your ear with a smile you couldn't shake off. You looked at him nervously fidgeting with his hands, your eyes widening at the sight of his ring-less finger. Blinking a few times, thinking that maybe your mind was playing tricks on you, you couldn't stop yourself from turning red.

"Just good? I'm offended, sweetheart, I thought I did a pretty amazing job there." He boasts, crossing his arms across his chest. Jokes were another coping mechanism Lucifer used often. But you weren't caught up on that.

Sweetheart. You sucked in your lips to hold back a ridiculously wide grin.

Awkwardly clearing his throat when you didn't respond, he clasps his hands together in his lap.

"Sooo.. what now..?" He asked sheepishly. He sounded nervous asking that. You took a hold of his hand and kissed his knuckles, before standing and taking him along with you.

"Now, we have to play some random board game with Charlie. That's your fault, by the way." He laughed after letting out a sigh of relief, following behind as you left the room.

Things were really looking up after that. The board game was awful, and you had to avoid eye contact with Lucifer the rest of the night, the sight of him turning you red immediately. His lips were all over you literal minutes before this, yet he’s acting much calmer than you. It almost frustrated you. Charlie even asked if you were feeling sick at some point. What a fucking nightmare.

Besides that, the unavoidable tragic events proceeding with the extermination day came and went. You did everything in your power to defend the hotel alongside Charlie and your newfound family. During the battle, you found yourself getting distracted by Lucifer's little fight with Adam. It's not like Adam wasn't getting a few hits in, but Lucifer seemed completely unphased. Sometimes you forget. You've seen him as a nervous, loving father, with a habit of making too many ridiculous jokes, but at the end of the day, he was powerful. He was more powerful than anything else in this realm. It was kinda hot..

A spear flying by your head snapped you out of your thoughts, and you groaned, simply embarrassed by your own mind.

The construction of the hotel went the same, he was creating endless materials amd assistance for the crew and you couldn't help but appreciate his strength and abilities. You assisted Charlie to keep your mind from thinking about Lucifer's teeth sinking into your shoulder or how smooth and warm his bare skin felt underneath your hands. But you found yourself chatting it up or helping Lucifer with some tasks every now and then.

Still, you had your fun during the process, sneaking off every now and then to "recharge". A single kiss on the cheek gets this man going, but you kept it at that. You weren't willing to risk any more run-ins.

Finally, the renovations were nearly finished, you were walking the halls just looking for any little things that may need to be cleaned up before you were meant to meet outside for the finale touches. Humming and scanning the area for any debris, you were stopped in your tracks feeling a fuzzy static sensation. It didn't feel like Alastor's usual presence, it was uneven and wavering. You looked around, finally finding him leaning against a wall with a hand clutched over his chest.

"Holy shit- Al! We thought you died, what happened?Oh my god, are you hurt? I mean everyone's gonna be relieved that you're okay, but we have to get you patched up soon or-" you rushed towards him as you spoke, watching a new pocket of blood seep through his coat. Attempting to reach for the wound, his hands came to your shoulders, Holding you with a bruising strength.

"A-Al, that hurts.." you gripped his wrists, attempting to pull him off of you.

"I hate to do this, love, but it appears I'm desperate. In exchange for my silence, you said you owe me one. Now, do me a favor. Stay away from that pompous king." Before you could say  anything else, a whirring green smoke encased you both, finalizing the deal.

"What? Hold on, what did you do? Alastor, what's going on?" You questioned him desperately as he released his hands from your shoulders.

What just happened?

"Hm. Don't make such a fuss, I'm just helping you. Unless I'm forgetting, I'm quite sure he did something to hurt you in the past. So it's probably for the best to keep your distance. Ah! I believe they're looking for us, outside, dear! Shall we?" Alastor brushes off his suit, covering the stain with his overcoat and suddenly dropping the injured act. He hooks your arm into his and the two of you melt away into the shadows before you could protest to anything that just happened.

♡♡♡

lmao jk there's more parts coming

( Just an extra extra note, it honestly takes me awhile to write, I usually work on it piece by piece over a few days, then it takes me a day or two to finish editing it, plus it all depends on what's motivating me that day :') PLEASE keep sending more requests and I really appreciate everyone who has already sent one in being so patient )

!Taglist! (Some of the blogs aren't tagging and I have no idea why if anyone knows why please lmk :,)

( @vififofum @thornwolfy235 @tinywolfiegirl @chipper-chip @bat-boness @misfitgirlwrites @nayomi247 @lonelynmisunderstood @escapistoftherealworld @b4ts1e @hamthepan @kyo-kyo1 @looking1016 @polytheatrix @littledolly2345 @lillianastuff @yourlocalcryptidbee

@0strawberrysorbet0 @themageofblood @jayyyayaysblog @floralsightings @azmosposts @8har0ley8 @actuallyspiderwoman @sirenetheblogger @christineblood @kaytemchugh @cimadreamer @simpdevil66 @azmosposts @m3ow1 @acrazyartist @redfoxwritesstuff @4k1to @meesachan @corvusskid @alientee @xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx @alon3lylov3r @sapphireravensworld @phamtasic @mjmdragons )

[adascore]

Hello! Not sure if you’re taking requests but would you consider doing an addition to TSS where young!arsenal reader was starting before Beth and Viv came back and has been benched majority of the time since (Kyra core☹️). Maybe during like the west ham game was one of the subs thrown on halfway through and after the loss made a snarky comment about “being thrown on to unfuck everything” type of thing to another teammate and Viv/beth overhear and think she’s talking about them (maybe they’re already a little insecure about losing such an “easy” game, self doubt post ACL) and things are super frosty and weird at home until one of them snaps and makes a comment about how they still wouldn’t have won even if R started. Hurt/comfort angst but with a happy ending!! Not sure if any of that strikes your fancy but I had the thought and you’re so talented:) no worries if not!!!

TO JUMP THE GUN(NERS)

pairings: arsenal x teen!reader / meadema x teen!reader / kyra cooney-cross x arsenal!reader

warnings: the west-ham match. swearing. angst. awkwardness.

author’s note: OMG LOVE THIS IDEA ! like this was right up my alley I felt like 😭 thank you so much, and I hope you enjoy the story!

masterlist

February 4, 2024 - Essex, England

It had become a routine, seeing her name and number on the bench. She took a glance at Kyra, a knowing look in her eyes.

The young Arsenal homegrown wondered where it all had gotten wrong. Well, she knew the answer, but it wasn't exactly something she could say out loud to anyone.

She was transported back to the 2022/23 season, where she would warm the bench until either Vivianne or Beth were too tired or they needed to be rested for the next match.

Their injuries had changed everything.

Y/N not only became a regular starter, but became a vital part of their game. Her absence would be noticed.

She scored the goals that got them to the semifinals of the Champions League, keeping them level with 2x champions Wolfsburg.

However, Beth and Vivianne were back now. Alessia's arrival also didn't help much, the former Manchester United player having cemented herself into the starting line-up.

It also didn't help that Jonas was not a fan of rotating. Only in specific Conti Cup matches or against what he deemed 'weaker' teams in the league would he make changes to the usual starting XI.

In other words, she was back to step 1.

That's why it was hard to watch her teammates falling 2-1 behind against West Ham, with no one seeming to find an answer or any will to turn the game around. It was a painful spectacle.

In the 63rd minute, Jonas decided to throw herself, Kyra and Cloé in the match, and take out Vivianne, Victoria and Beth. It was a desperate attempt, and the three Gunners found themselves on the pitch, tasked with the challenging mission of trying to fix everything that had gone wrong so far.

Y/N and Cloé quickly created some chances but the West Ham defense or the swift reflexes of Mackenzie Arnold saw them go in vain.

The teenager could see the expressions of her teammates on the bench, visibly frustrated with how the match had unfolded since Alessia's successful header.

Vivianne couldn't hide the discontent in her eyes as she sat with a subtle shake of her head. Her partner, sitting beside her, noticed and Beth patted her thigh, offering silent support as they continued to watch their team scramble for a late equalizer.

As the final whistle blew, the disappointment within the team was high. Y/N did her usual post-match routine, and congratulated all the West Ham players on their win, while giving and receiving solace from her own teammates.

The teen found Kyra again, someone who she had found a friendship in over the months the Australian had joined the Gunners.

''You alright?'' The midfielder asked her, a dejected tone in her voice.

Y/N nodded. ''Yeah, you?''

''Not too great, but there are worse things in life.'' Kyra responded, trying to put the loss in perspective.

''True,'' the striker agreed, ''I can't believe he keeps putting us in these positions.''

Kyra nodded. ''You think he would learn after Tottenham.'' She sighed.

''Apparently, we're not good enough to start, but when he needs us to unfuck everything that happened, then he knows who we are.'' Y/N said, her frustration evident. The unfair treatment of some players during the season lingered in the air, leaving a bitter taste after the defeat.

As the youngsters continued their conversation on their way to the locker room, Vivianne and Beth, unintentionally overhearing their discussion, exchanged puzzled glances.

''Did you hear that? 'Unfuck everything'?'' Beth repeated her housemate's words to her partner.

Vivianne's brow furrowed as she processed what was said. ''Yeah,'' the Dutchwoman breathed out, ''not very nice.'' A hint of sadness lingered in her voice. It stung that their efforts were being discussed in such terms, especially by the young girl they were living with.

They didn't say much else to one another as they strolled through the corridor.

The atmosphere in the locker room was subdued, void of any banter and entertaining chats. Most of the players were already there as the couple walked in.

Beth took a glimpse at Y/N and Kyra who still seemed in a discussion with one another, although they were whispering now.

''Girls, we're a lot better than this.'' Kim broke the ice, a neutral expression on her face.

Everyone nodded at the captain, the collective disappointment from the match was visible. ''Well, it's done, we can't change anything about it. So, everyone just do a reset, try to get some sleep or distract yourselves on the bus, and I expect everyone with fresh minds and legs at training.''

The team nodded and weakly applauded Kim's small speech.

As the team began to disperse, Y/N caught Beth's eye, offering a faint smile in greeting. However, the winger's response was noticeably strained, her usually warm demeanor replaced by a subtle tension.

"Everything okay?" The younger one ventured, her concern evident.

Beth's smile faltered slightly, her gaze flickering away before returning to meet Y/N's. "Yeah, everything's fine." She replied, though her words sounded hollow even to her own ears.

The striker's brow furrowed further, a flicker of uncertainty clouding her features. "Are you sure?" She pressed gently, not used to this awkwardness from her teammate.

"I... yeah, I'm sure." She retorted, her voice tinged with irritation.

"Okay..." Y/N trailed off, unsure of how to proceed. Sensing the dismissiveness between them, she offered a hesitant smile before turning back to where she had been talking with Lia.

As her housemate walked away, Beth's expression hardened, a pang of guilt gnawing at her conscience. She knew she shouldn't act like this towards her, but her words had really struck a nerve for some reason and it was hard to pretend it didn't.

The drive home on the bus wasn't that different, though the atmosphere was more subdued due to the loss. Y/N and Kyra were seated next to each other, Katie and Caitlin sitting on the other side of them.

''You alright, Y/N?'' Caitlin asked, noticing the youngster's quietness.

Y/N looked up, glancing away from her nails to the older Australian player. She hesitated answering, not knowing if it was appropriate to say anything about her interaction with Beth.

She sat up straight and motioned for the three of them to huddle together over the small table. They got her message and did just that.

''Did anything happen on the bench or something? Cause I had this weird exchange with Meado, and it's just stuck in my head.'' She explained, her voice hushed.

They all frowned at her words. ''No, she was just frustrated about the game, but so was everyone else.'' Caitlin responded.

''What happened?'' Katie chimed in, curious to know about this exchange.

''I don't know. She was looking at me in the locker room, and I smiled at her, but she, I don't know, just looked weird at me. I asked her if she was alright, but she was kinda distant with me? She responded a little irritated so I left her alone, but it was weird.'' Y/N gave a small summary of the interaction.

"That is strange." Kyra mused, breaking the silence that had settled over their huddle.

They nodded at her words, agreeing with the young Australian.

''I didn't notice anything.'' Caitlin said with a pout, feeling sorry she couldn't help her younger teammate out. ''Me neither, kiddo.'' Katie added, a similar expression on her face.

Y/N smiled sadly, disappointed she wasn't any wiser on Beth. Katie rubbed her arm once she noticed her dejected expression. ''Hey, I wouldn't worry about it. It's a tough loss.''

The youngster nodded at the Irishwoman's words. ''Yeah, you're right.''

Katie was not right.

As soon as she got in the car with the beloved couple it was clear that something had gone down for them to act in such a sour mood. Vivianne's knuckles were white against the steering wheel, while Beth stared out of the window, her expression unreadable.

Sensing the palpable tension, Y/N shifted uncomfortably in her seat. The youngster wanted to break the silence, but the words wouldn't come out. It felt like they were stuck in her throat.

The drive home felt like forever. Every minute made the atmosphere worse. Y/N tried to catch Vivianne or Beth's eye, hoping for some sign that things would get better, but there was nothing.

Car rides after losses were never filled with much conversation, but it had never been like this.

A wave of relief went through her as the car was parked in front of their apartment complex, longing for the comfort of her room where she could hide from whatever the situation was.

Y/N couldn't even come up with a guess on what had transpired. Did they have a fight? Did she do something? Did someone else do something?

She had absolutely no clue.

However, the tension seemed to follow them into their shared home. The silence had become even more deafening with each step they took.

Beth disappeared into her room without a word, while Vivianne headed straight for the kitchen, her movements stiff and mechanical. Y/N stood in the hallway, feeling like an outsider in her own home.

Their behaviors made her feel anxious, feeling that knot inside her stomach. What had happened during the game? What had caused them to retreat into themselves like this?

Unable to handle any of it longer, Y/N tentatively approached the Dutchwoman in the kitchen. "Um, Viv?" She began, her voice small.

Vivianne glanced up, her expression guarded. "Yeah?” She replied, accent heavy.

The younger girl hesitated, unsure of how to broach the subject. "I, uh, did, uh, something happen at the game?" She stammered, her words stumbling over each other in her haste to get everything out.

The striker's eyebrows furrowed. "What are you talking about?” She asked, her face neutral.

Her response only added to the youngest one's confusion. It seemed as though they were both dancing around a subject neither wanted to address.

"I-I just... noticed things were a bit off between everyone after the match," Y/N explained, her voice barely above a whisper, "and, well, the car ride home was... a bit weird, you know.”

Vivianne's expression softened slightly, though her guard remained up. ''Don't worry about it. Just… frustration from the game.''

But Y/N couldn't shake the feeling that there was more to it than just frustration. She wanted to press further, but the fear of causing further conflict held her back.

Instead, she offered a hesitant nod. ''Okay, good.'' She murmured to the floor, retreating back to her room with a heavy heart.

The Arsenal homegrown player pulled her phone out of her pocket, searching up Kyra's contact. It only took a few rings for the Australian to pick up, she was probably already on her phone as she was called.

''Hey.'' Her accent momentarily bringing a smile to Y/N's face.

''Hey, you're home?''

''Yeah, just arrived. What's up?''

There was a brief pause before Y/N continued. ''Things have gotten a bit weirder since, uh, on the bus.''

''Shit. What happened?'' She asked, her voice filled with genuine worry.

''It's just... the tension at home is almost suffocating," she explained, ''it was completely silent the entire time we were driving home, and when we got home, Beth immediately went to her room. I tried to ask Viv about, but she told me it was just frustrations, but it clearly is not just that.''

There was a moment of silence as Kyra processed Y/N's words. "That doesn't sound good," she finally replied, ''you really have no idea what might have happened? Maybe they had a fight or something?''

Y/N shook her head, even though her teammate couldn't see it. "No, that's the thing. I'm completely lost." She admitted, frustration lacing her words.

''Same. I wish I knew what to say to help.'' Kyra said softly.

''It's alright, Ky. Thanks for letting me ramble.'' Y/N chuckled, appreciating the opportunity to unload her worries onto her friend.

''It's fine, honestly. It must not be fun to be in this situation,'' the Matilda replied, feeling for her friend, ''if anything else happens you can always let me know, okay? I'm gonna have some dinner now.''

Y/N smiled gratefully. "Thanks, Ky. I really appreciate it.”

''Anytime. Take care, I'll see you at training.''

''You too. Bye, bye.'' They bid each other goodbye before hanging up the phone.

Y/N prepared to leave her room again, wanting to check if Vivianne had started dinner yet or not.

Just as she stepped into the hallway, she nearly collided with Beth, who was coming out of her room with a tight-lipped expression. The sudden encounter caught them both off guard.

''Shit, sorry.'' The younger one apologized first, giving her housemate an awkward glance.

''It's alright,'' Beth brushed off, ''uh, were you on the phone just now?" She asked, her brow furrowing slightly.

Y/N nodded. ''Uh, yeah, with Kyra.''

Beth's expression shifted, a flicker of something unreadable crossing her features. "Oh, Kyra." She murmured, her voice tight.

The younger girl simply stared at the winger, not knowing what to say to her words. "Is everything okay?" Y/N ventured, her voice hesitant as she searched Beth's face for any sign of what might be bothering her.

Beth's lips pressed into a thin line, and for a moment, she seemed lost in thought. When she finally spoke, her words were tinged with a hint of irritation. ''Everything's alright.''

Y/N offered a small, uneasy smile and nodded. "Oh, okay." She said, though her words felt hollow even to her own ears.

With a nod of acknowledgment, Beth turned to walk away. As she watched Beth disappear around the corner, she wondered if it had been something she had done. However, she couldn't recall saying or doing anything that day that would have provoked this kind of demeanor from the couple.

The young striker walked into the living room, noticing Vivianne bustling about in the kitchen. But what caught Y/N's attention was the hushed whispers exchanged between the couple, Beth and Vivianne not being subtle about their gossiping.

A sense of discomfort washed over the youngster as she hesitated in the doorway, unsure whether to interrupt or retreat unnoticed. But before she could make a decision, the Dutchwoman glanced up and caught her eye, her expression inscrutable.

''Hey, dinner is almost ready. Just some leftover pasta from yesterday.'' She informed Y/N, her tone somewhat forced as she attempted to maintain a facade of normalcy.

Y/N forced a smile. ''Nice, thanks, Viv.'' She answered, trying to ignore the awkwardness that hung in the air.

She retreated to the couch, feeling as if she wasn't welcome in the small space. Something was off, and she couldn't help but feel like she was on the outside looking in.

She scrolled on her phone for a few minutes before Vivianne called her to the table as the food was ready. As they gathered around the dinner table, the atmosphere remained strained, the tension thick enough to cut with a knife.

Vivianne served up the leftover pasta, her movements brisk as she avoided making eye contact with anyone. Beth sat across from Y/N, her expression unreadable as she picked at her food.

Y/N tried to focus on her food, but the uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach made it difficult to swallow.

For a few moments, the only sound was the clinking of forks against plates, the silence punctuated only by the occasional awkward cough or clearing of throat.

Finally, unable to bear the tension any longer, Y/N opened her mouth. "So, um, what did you guys think about the match?'' She asked the pair, her voice coming out more high than she had intended.

As if on cue, Vivianne and Beth glanced up from their plates at the same time.

''It was tough, but it shouldn't have been tough. We lacked a clear tactic.'' The experienced striker answered, filling up the silence.

Y/N nodded, relieved at least one of them responded to her attempt at conversation. She took a peek at Beth, who did not seem amused in the slightest to talk about the surprising defeat earlier that day.

''It was just another match of us fucking everything up, and you kids having to unfuck it all.'' Beth said, her tone dripping with sarcasm.

The youngest's eyes widened slightly at the cutting remark, not expecting those words to come out of the Brit's mouth.

Vivianne shifted uncomfortably in her seat, casting a quick glance at Y/N before fixing her gaze on her partner. "Beth, that's enough.'' Her voice was stern, warning Beth that this was not the way to go about this.

But Beth ignored her girlfriend, her eyes fixed on Y/N with an intensity that made her squirm. ''No, she needs to learn to not talk about teammates that way, especially the ones that have just gotten back from serious injuries, and need time to reintegrate into the group.''

Y/N felt a flush of embarrassment creeping up her neck, she cast a desperate look at Vivianne, silently pleading for her to intervene and diffuse the situation before it escalated any further.

''Beth, I wasn't-''

''You weren't what? You weren't talking shit to Kyra about us right after the match? You weren't talking shit about us to Kyra on the phone just now?'' The oldest continued in an accusing tone.

Vivianne let out a sigh, her frustration evident as she attempted to defuse the situation. ''Beth.'' She said firmly, her gaze shifting between the two other people at the table.

''I wasn't talking shit about you guys. I would never do that.'' Y/N managed to let out, offended at the mere idea of her not appreciating the two women who'd let her move in with them a 1,5 years ago.

''Y/N, we heard you. On the pitch after the match, with Kyra.'' Beth responded bluntly.

Y/N swallowed hard, slightly ashamed of being caught. ''We were just... we were just frustrated, okay? That comment wasn't directed at any of you guys, it was more at Jonas, to be fair.''

The couple grew silent at the admission, realizing they had greatly misunderstood the two young girls' conversation. ''About Jonas?'' Vivianne repeated, her voice carrying a note of embarrassment.

The young striker nodded. ''Yeah, me and Kyra have just been a bit upset with our game time, that's all. It felt like a repeat of the Tottenham game.''

Beth and Vivianne exchanged a glance, coming to a silent understanding. ''We're sorry for jumping the gun on that one, darling. We really thought we needed to teach you some manners.'' The Brit nervously apologized with a chuckle.

''It's alright, we probably should've been a bit more discreet.'' Y/N brushed her apology off with a hand gesture.

''No, you two are in your full right to complain.'' Vivianne retorted, agreeing on the playing time matter.

The teenager waited a few moments before elaborating. ''I don't mind sitting on the bench, it's great to get rest, you know? But it almost feels like he doesn't trust me to get the game starting or something. I like to think I did great last season, so this kind of sucks.'' She opened up, not having voiced these thoughts to anyone but Kyra.

''You did amazing last season, you stepped up when we needed someone and the team will never forget that.'' Beth smiled, squeezing the youngster' s hand.

''It seems that Jonas forgot.'' Y/N muttered bitterly, looking down at her empty plate.

The couple silenced themselves at her mumbled words, not knowing what the appropriate response would be to cheer her up about the situation. They were indirectly responsible for the young girl to not get as much game time anymore, so whatever they would tell her, she would most likely not feel much better afterwards.

''Just focus on what you're doing right now. Show up to training, recover well, maximize everything in the minutes you do get. Show him that he should trust you to start, and that you deserve to have that spot in the line-up.'' Vivianne chimed in, her voice soft but resolute.

Y/N nodded at the older woman's words, though her demeanor still seemed dejected. ''Yeah, I'll continue to do that.'' It came out somewhat passive aggressive.

''I know it doesn't fix the situation, but you're my personal star girl, regardless whether you play or not.'' Beth softly smiled at her.

The teen managed to crack a small smile back, appreciating the sentiment. ''Thanks, Beth.''

''You're mine too.'' Vivianne added.

''Hey, that's my compliment for her! Find another one if you want to be cute!'' Beth scolded her partner, dramatically feigning annoyance.

The Dutchwoman frowned. ''Everyone calls her ‘star girl'! You're not original either!'' She pouted back.

Y/N couldn't help but let out a chuckle at the banter between the couple, happily accepting the momentary distraction from her frustrations.

Beth playfully rolled her eyes. ''At least I'm complimenting her!''

''Sorry that I was just giving useful advice, Bethany.'' Vivianne retorted.

''Useful.'' The Brit repeated, her voice heavily tinged with sarcasm.

Vivianne's mouth gaped, pretending to be offended. ''It was useful! That's what I would have wanted to hear at 19 year-old.'' She defended herself.

''19 year-old's want to hear praise, Viv. They want to be called star girls, not receive a lecture.'' Beth quickly replied, with a smirk.

''Y/N, it was useful, right?'' The older striker turned towards the teenager.

''Yeah, Y/N, tell Miss Miedema how useful her advice was.'' Beth chorused her words, grinning from ear-to-ear.

The youngster simply glanced between the two of them, before picking up her empty plate and standing up from her seat. ''I'm taking this as my sign to leave.''

She ignored their pleas with a satisfied grin, making her way to the kitchen to dump her plate, and walking back to her room.

The couple watched her depart, sharing a knowing look, a hint of amusement dancing in their eyes. ''She's gonna call Kyra, isn't she?'' Vivianne chuckled.

''She so is.'' Beth agreed with a laugh.

requests are always welcome!

[bnuuyteethh]

Hi! I'm Bunny and I'm redesigning the whole cast for hazbin hotel

{PLS READ THE WHY SECTION BELOW}

Anyway.... Onto my designs! I'll be detailing the stuff I changed/added

First is.,..!! Sir pentious! Weird right? You would think it's Charlie but uh nah, he's my favorite character and I wanted to make him similar to my tastes.

Yes he is trans! I have a small little HC that the egg boys are his boys...

And he is much longer/bigger due to this because of sexual dimorphism! But we love him for who he is now he's so silly :). He also has a barbed tail that I would say is used as a 5th hand! To grab stuff. He already has 4 arms cause why not? He needs to push himself around already..

Next is.. Angel Dust!, he doesn't have an alt version because I feel it's not needed but here he is!

I added pedipalps, those are the mandible looking things. They are a part of spiders I think are so cool and I wanted to add them! Unfortunately they're not counted as legs and adding another set of legs to angel I couldn't figure out... But good enough!

I also changed his eyes! To include a spiderweb, I'm not entirely sure why he has that black eye, so I thought I would change it up a little bit.

A friend gave an idea that his sight from that eye is kaleidoscope-like so I'm implementing that too! And how could I forget! The spiderbutt! Without it it's kinda weird looking so I wanted to add it in cus it's so cute

Next up.... Husk! He's one of my favorite characters so.. kinda went all out on him

I didn't change much about him besides his patterns and colors, but generally his silhouette is the same!

I wanted to add a lot more feathers and fluff to him! And putting on the casino style bringing back the spades and hearts to his wings again!

I thought the spades were funny

Up next.. Vox!

I found his design interesting that he is a flat screen TV even though he died in the 50's? So I decided to change that! Turning him into a box TV again!

And giving him a cable tail, I thought it would be clever that when sleeps he charges himself up for the day!

Next up... niffty! She's the last character I've designed so far!

Also while looking up her historically accurate date I found out she's 22??? Weird... But yeah she did end up looking a little older here I'm glad, but I really wanted to give her a bigger needle! What's she gonna do with that small thing?

And her dress is based on 50's maid outfits! With the addition of an embroidered poodle!

.

Why?

Well first I'm crazy and second, I've been now made aware that the show itself does a certain type of representation so disgustingly that I'd rather make my own designs and fix what they couldn't do.

I don't support viv or the show.

If you want to read into it yourself I advise a trigger warning for S/A. It happens in episode 4.

[the-oblivious-writer]

Touch Tank

Tara Carpenter x Reader

One-shot

Summary: Tensions are high when you go over to the Carpenters' apartment after telling Tara you would fix their sink; Sam isn't exactly what you would call your 'biggest fan'

Warning(s): Swearing, Tara & R aren't together, & no pronouns used

Notes: Another work based off of Gilmore Girls! Currently re-watching it and I'm slowly inching towards s3 ep 19... I'm avoiding it like the plague (I wanna stay in literali bliss just a lil longer 😔)

4/7 for Seven Days of Christmas

You made the mistake of agreeing to fix Tara’s sink.

Somehow Tara roped you into agreeing. Plumbers were expensive, and with paying rent in New York while also paying for college, they were already on a tight budget. You offered them a cheaper price, and you honestly didn’t mind giving Tara a favor.

That was before you remembered Sam would be there too.

You have known Tara all of five months, and in that time you haven’t exactly left the best impression on her older sister. Sam has already caught you sneaking in ten times—you got lucky every other time—and it didn’t help that you had an attitude. 

Tara wanted nothing more than for Sam to get to know you—to not just go off the you she made up in her head. So, when Sam found out you would be coming to fix their kitchen sink… she figured it wouldn’t be such a bad idea to give you another shot. Besides, she was doing this for Tara. She wasn’t sure as to why Tara was so persistent on it, but all she knows is that Tara wants you and her to get along. 

—

You walk up the stairs to the shared apartment after getting buzzed in by Tara. Once you get to the door you knock and the door opens.

“Hey,” Tara greets.

“Hey back,” you reply. Tara moves to the side, letting you in. Once you’re inside you look at Tara once again before smiling to yourself.

“You’re very punctual,” she remarked—watching as your eyes wandered.

“Yeah, well, it was either this or more apartment hunting with Danny.”

“You’re moving?”

You shrugged, “I don’t know. Don’t really get the point—the apartment’s fine. He says there’s ‘interior damage’ or whatever. Nothing I can’t fix.”

“Who knows; a new place could be nice.”

“I guess. He’s kinda eyeing the vacant apartment that’s not too far from yours.”

“Really?”

“Yeah… not saying it’s a sure thing but if we do move, can you promise you won’t get sick of me?”

“Sick of that face? Never…” She gently pinched your cheek teasingly; heat rushed to your face. 

“Did you change your hair?” You asked suddenly, changing the subject.

“What?”

“Your hair looks…different.”

“So segway’s not your thing, huh?” 

“Is it?” 

“Uh, no. I wear it like this a lot. Why?”

“Just…” You shrug, “Different.”

“Oh. Bad ‘different’?” She tugged on the hem of her shirt, suddenly feeling nervous for some reason. 

You smirk, about to answer her question, but turn your head when you hear a noise coming from down the hall. It sounded like Sam yelling a curse before Tara looked back at you with a light chuckle.

“The sink hasn’t been putting her in the best mood,” she elaborates. 

“She’s usually in a good mood?” You quip with raised eyebrows, tone laced in sarcasm. Tara scolds you with a look, causing you to back down. “Alright, alright.” 

“This fucking sink is driving me insane–” Sam cuts herself off, stopping in her tracks when she sees you. 

“Oh. Y/N. You’re here,” she says and you simply nod at her words. “Refreshing to see you use the front door for once…” She murmurs but you and Tara hear it. Tara scolds her with the same look she gave you just moments before. 

“If you want there’s Dr. Pepper in the kitchen,” Sam reluctantly offered. You looked at Tara then at Sam before briefly nodding. 

After a few seconds of silence, Sam clears her throat. “Okay, well, everything’s in the kitchen if you want to get started. The toolbox, and gloves are all there. If you need anything else just call one of us.” 

Tara looks between you and Sam before speaking up, “Come on, I’ll show you.” She extends her hand, gesturing to the direction of the kitchen. You begin to walk in that direction but before Tara follows behind, she gives Sam a look.

“I’m trying,” Sam huffed. 

“Well keep it up pleasee,” Tara requested as she walked away to the kitchen. 

By the time she was there, you were already setting up. “Question,” She states.

“Yes?” You put the pair of gloves in your back pocket, looking over at Tara.

“You come over. You seem to have a very firm grasp of the English language. You put together several full sentences—even using a couple of words that contain two or more syllables. And then my sister appears, and suddenly we need a thought bubble over your head to understand what you’re thinking. Can you tell me why that is?”

You looked down at the four-way silicone key in your hand before looking at Tara again with a  response. “The verbal thing comes and goes.” 

Tara sighed, lightly rolling her eyes. “I would really appreciate it if you would try to get along with my sister.”

“I took the Dr. Pepper,” you stated as a matter of factly. 

She furrowed her eyebrows, “I know.”

“Personally, I think it’s a little crazy to put lemon in Dr. Pepper—buuuut I took it anyhow.” You reached for the bucket and rag as you heard Tara huff.

“Stop it.”

“Ooo, stern face,” you say as you lift the tool and bucket to place by the sink. Tara continues, following you as you crouched down by the sink.

“Look. I went out on a limb for you, trying to get my sister to give you the benefit of the doubt. Okay? So, I don’t think it would hurt you to try to be nice.”

You put down the wrench you had just picked up, now fully turned and standing to look at Tara as you spoke. “Why?” You simply asked, taking off your jacket.

“Why?” Tara mirrored.

“Yeah. Why?” 

“Because she’s my sister—and she and Danny are dating.”

“So?” You tossed your jacket on top of a nearby chair.

“What do you mean ‘so’?” She asked incredulously; her eyebrows stayed furrowed.

“So, just because she’s your sister or Danny’s girlfriend doesn’t mean that I automatically have to get along with her,” you stated with pure conviction, rolling up your sleeves. 

“Y/N, my sister is a great person. She’s also my best friend—so if you care about me at all you will take that into consideration,” Tara was now crossing her arms as she stood her ground. “And you will be mildly polite to her.”

You couldn’t help but smirk, looking her up and down before responding. “What makes you think I care about you?” Tara didn’t need eyes to know you were smirking and enjoying this way too much.

She blushes, looking down at the ground and shaking her head as she grows flustered. “I–I don’t mean care-care. Like—care. I mean if you like me at all—not like-like! I just meant that–” Tara stumbles over her words, tucking in a loose strand of hair behind her ear. You watch her with amusement, a soft smile grazing your face as you let out a light snort.

“If you think of me remotely as the sort of person you could occasionally stand to talk to then you will try to get along with my sister. That’s all.” 

Your eyes never pulled from her once, only looking at her with fondness as you finally said something. “Okay,” you nod.

“Okay?”

“Can’t guarantee that it’ll work but I’ll try,” you confirm. 

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome…” You glance at the sink then back at Tara. “Should probably get to work.”

“Right. Sorry—go ahead.” She turns to walk away, looking at you one more time before leaving the kitchen. You crouch down by the sink again, not meeting her gaze but feeling it. She doesn’t see how you grin to yourself; your mind being plagued with thoughts of the younger Carpenter.

Guess it wouldn’t hurt to make an effort. 

—

Later that night, you decided to stop by Tara’s window for a surprise visit. You looked at her for a few seconds—admiring how peaceful she looked—before lightly tapping on her window. She turned to look at the window, a grin grazing her face when her eyes meets yours.

She lifted the window with a smile as you looked up at her fondly. “Hey,” you finally said after the window fully opened, expression never faltering as you leaned your head against the window frame.

“Hey back,” she replied. “Didn’t you say something to Sam about not coming through the window anymore.” Tara heard from Sam that you managed to hold somewhat of a conversation with the older Carpenter, actually making an effort to try with her. No matter how awkward it might have been on your end, at least you tried.

“You talk about me with Sam?” You asked smugly.

She rolled her eyes with an infectious smile. “Just get inside.”

“I didn’t hear a no~” You say in a sing-song voice. Tara pulled you in by your sleeve, roughly, might you add. “Watch the shirt,” you complain while you’re pulled inside her room.

“Quirk it.”

“How gentle,” you sarcastically complimented; you dusted your pants off with your free hand, not commenting on how Tara still held a grip on your other arm. 

“So,” Tara began as she sat on her bed—dragging you with her, “What are we watching tonight?”

“I can’t do Freaky Friday again.”

“Fine.”

“How about Cursed?” You inquired. Tara was leaning her back against your chest; she looked up at you with those beautiful brown eyes.

“That movie’s terrible.”

“One-hundred percent, but Milo Ventimiglia is in it.”

“Doesn’t he only have like six minutes of screen time?”

“But in it, nevertheless.”

“You drive a hard bargain… Get the laptop?”

You respond by reaching over to the night stand, grabbing her laptop. You hand it to her and she opens it on her lap. 

Tara would never comment on how she was the only one who got this side of you—the gentle, kind, and considerate side. Well, when she wants to see you squirm she comments on it. But for now, she’ll keep it to it herself.

-----------

A/N: the urge to write a paper on how jess mariano is a truly misunderstood character grows each & each day...

(I got beef with star hallows. we leave it at that.)

[scekrex]

Hey absolutely love your stuff (obviously since I keep requesting lol) anyways could I request Adam who somehow survived after getting beaten up by Lucifer and stabbed who even knows how many times by Niffty gets found by the reader who while an overlord isn't that powerful is super rich (I also picture them being like a mix of Alastor and Vox where like Alastor still holds a lot of more old timey views but also tries to adapt with the changing views like Vox) and decides to take him back to his mansion to try and help him survive (wants to make a few bucks later using him) after a bit the two share an oh fuck moment when they realized they have caught feelings. I hope you have a wonderful day/night!

Overlord reader?? Uh fuck yeah!! I fucking love this ask so much xoxo/p

Part 2 ; Part 3 ; Part 4

Chains on my lips just add flames to the fire

pairing: Adam x male!reader

warnings: language & sexual tension

note: not beta read bc fuck you I don't have beta readers

The battlefield was a mess through and through and while the devil and his daughter had built up the hotel again, a new, more inviting looking building was now located on the lonely hill in the pride ring, you still felt Adam's presence. The residents of the hazbin hotel must've already forgotten about him and therefore didn't notice you at all, too caught up in their doing.

The first man was badly injured and while you normally wouldn't care for such things, especially because it was an exorcist angel, this case was special. Because not only was the brunette laying in front of your feet the first man god had ever created, no, he was also the leader of said exorcists. You could only imagine how many sinners and Hellborn people would pay a good amount of money to harm him, even if it was just the slightest injury possible. So you bowed down and scooped the passed out man in your arms. If these sinners and even Lucifer didn't care for him, you would put him to good use. For your own benefit that was, but no one had to know about that yet. So you carried the first man across the entire pride ring of hell until you reached your home. The brunette man in your arms was still unconscious and given the blood he had lost and the hits he had taken that was pretty normal.

Once inside your mansion, you headed to the hospital wing, walking through the building with slow, heavy steps that echoed through the empty hallways. The hospital wing was close to the entrance, a decision you had made after stumbling through the doors with a fatal wound that had been exposing your guts. It was quicker to reach in an emergency and while those rarely occurred, you didn't like the risk. You put the first man down onto one of the beds, your claw sliced smoothly through the fabric of his once holy robe to get it out of the way. You needed to take care of the stab wounds the nifty little demon girl had caused. The stabs were deep but nothing you couldn't fix. You gave Adam one last glance before you stepped over to the medicine cabinet and for a quick moment you asked yourself why Lilith and Eve had left Adam, he wasn't bad looking at all, quite the opposite. And Lucifer had mentioned that Adam had ‘kinda let himself go’ which meant back when the two women were married to him, he must have looked even better. You quickly shook your head, what in the devil's name were you even thinking?

With wound cleaning supplies and a healing potion you stepped back to Adam's bed, the first human ever seemed to be slowly waking up. He braced his palms against the mattress, tried to lift himself up but you were quick to push him back down, the more he moved while his wounds were still ripped open the more blood he lost. And while Adam would be able to recover either way, the more blood stayed inside of his body, the better. At least that's what you thought. “Stay,” you hummed as you cleaned the blood from his skin. It was unusual to clean off golden blood instead of the red mess you were so used to. But you didn't mind, didn't care even.

Adam flinched away from your touch, tried to lift himself up yet again. Your hand took a hold of his throat and held him down by it, “I said stay, stupid angel.” Adam's eyes seemed to clear up a little, the fog that had covered his golden eyes, had made them seem yellow, lifted and the brunette stared at you, clearly not knowing what to feel. You saw anger in his eyes, rage and hatred but at the same time there was fear. Fear and pain.

Once the blood was no longer staining his perfect skin, you took the potion you had grabbed, popped the cork and held the smooth, cold glass against his bottom lip, “Open up,” you demanded, yet your voice stayed gentle. Adam hesitated and you really couldn't blame him. “It will cause your wounds to heal,” you explained to the former leader of the exorcists and he seemed to consider his opinions for a moment. Then he actually parted his lips and let you spill the disgusting liquid onto his tongue. His face scrunched up at the bitter taste and he kept the liquid in his mouth. “Swallow it, Adam.” Adam looked up at you, once again seemingly considering alternatives he had. Given the fact that he did as you told him, there hadn't been many.

Adam checked his chest as the wounds that had caused enough pain to make him pass out healed quickly. The only hint left that they ever even existed were golden scars that seemed to be permanent from now on, but the first man couldn't complain, could he? He was still alive and on top of that there was no more pain. The first man frowned at you, mistrust was lingering heavy in his eyes as golden orbs followed your every move. Yet he remained silent, not a single word was falling from his lips.

Your hand that had been holding him down by his throat let go of him and Adam was sitting up right in his bed in an instant. His hands traced over the new found scars, you watched him in silence. There was something about him, about his vibe that was different. It wasn't the fact that he was an angel, no, even though that made his vibe different too, but it was something soft, something afraid to break. You cleared your throat loudly and Adam's eyes were on you within a heartbeat, while mistrust still lingered heavy in them, curiosity was close behind and you couldn't help but catch yourself that you were curious about him too.

-

Adam always bragged about being the first man, like that was his biggest accomplishment and if you looked at it from a different viewpoint it wasn't even his accomplishment but God’s, Adam didn't create himself after all. Yet it was the only thing worth mentioning whenever he didn't want to do something, “I’m the fucking man, not your fucking housewife, I'm not gonna fucking clean that.” You sighed as you took a step towards Adam and he flinched, trying to back up but his back hit the kitchen counter sooner than expected. Your hands grabbed a hold of his waist and you effortlessly lifted him up to sit on said counter, Adam was taken aback by that.

It had been a couple of weeks since you had found and saved him and the mistrust that had been filling his eyes from the first second on had never truly left them. He would always leash out on you only to back down as soon as you reacted in some way that seemed too unpredictable for him. “When will you learn to think before you speak?” Your voice held a certain amount of softness, it always did when you were speaking to Adam. The guy wasn't a threat to you, not in his current situation. And you were trying to use that to your advantage. Because he was scared, basically a deer in the headlights, why not put that fear to use? You nudged his knees apart to stand between his legs, still taller than him you hovered over the first man with a mix between a sly grin and a soft smile. “When you start to suck my fucking dick,” you chuckled as his choice of words, very aware that he simply wanted you to fuck off and leave him be, you acted oblivious to that. One hand was placed on the counter to steady yourself, right next to his thigh, the other grabbed his chin to tilt his head upwards, forcing the brunette to look you in the eyes.

“Right now? Right here?” your voice sounded so delicious, Adam wanted to eat it up, in fact, he wanted to devour you entirely, feast on every piece you had to offer and only stop once he swallowed it all. In Christ's holy name, what was he thinking? Your lips were so close to his, so so close, all he would need to do was - he leaned into your touch, why he wasn't sure, it was as if his body was following a call sent to him by nature itself. And then his lips met yours and a low groan spilled from his throat as his hands grabbed your shoulder firmly, he was afraid you'd pull back, that you'd leave him like Lilith and Eve had and he didn't even know why. Why was he afraid of losing you, a sinner, a man he barely knew? He couldn't wrap his mind around it. And yet he kissed you like his life was depending on it.

The hand that had been braced against the counter was now on his thigh, squeezing the soft flesh playfully and drawing a delicious sound from Adam's lips. Oh you could drown in the noises the first man made, the little huffs and puffs, his groans that he tried to keep as quiet as possible, the whimpers he would later deny. Adam was the most beautiful creature that had ever set a foot into hell and you mentally punched yourself in the face for wanting to use him to make money. There was no way you'd use such a divine, holy and glorious man for that, no. Adam was yours, your little secret and you'd keep it, keep him.

When you two partened a sting of saliva connected your lips and both of your eyes were hazy, he looked blissed out and it was then that you decided you wanted to see him like that more often - as often as possible. You were to lean in yet again, wanting more, needing more. But your phone rang. “Pick it up, bet it's something fucking important, they don't fucking call overlords for shits and giggles, do they?” You knew Adam was right and you hated it. You pushed your body away from the first man's and you saw how he wanted to reach out, wanted to keep you close but didn't say a thing about it. You grabbed your phone off the dining table and answered the call, “The fuck do you want, Vox?” It was the first time Adam had heard you speaking so vulgarly, you usually seemed to be collected, considering your words wisely, but that? In the name of God, that was truly something else. And it was ridiculously hot. “No I fucking can't, ask someone else,” and with that you hung up, tossed your phone carelessly back onto the table and found your place between his legs yet again. “Where were we?” you hummed through hooded eyes. And it was only then that the two of you seemed to realize what exactly you had just done, what you were about to do again.

Both of your eyes widened and the next thing you felt were Adam's hands on your body, not just your shoulder this time but also your waist, your chest, your thighs, your back. It seemed as if he was claiming you with his hands and the worst part of it? You truly didn't mind, you even enjoyed his touch on you, leaned into it and closed your eyes to fully focus on his hands roaming over your body.

Fuck, you had fallen deep for this man, way deeper than you ever thought you'd fall. But Adam had followed you, had fallen with you.

“You were about to suck me off,” Adam mumbled, his voice already sounded fucked out and you hadn't even started yet.

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

March 23rd

~*~

1. Hi. Looking for this fic wherein wwx tried to prank lqr and the elders by acting like a Lan. It backfired because they thought wwx was possessed by Lan An, especially when jwy visited cloud recesses (almost causes a war between jiang and lan). For it to end, wwx pretended to be Lan An and said goodbye then fake fainted (as if Lan An left wwx’s body)

please help me find it 🙏

Hi! I’m from the recent fic finder #1. Unfortunately that’s not what i’m looking for because I remember it being post canon (meaning wangxian are already married). I also remember the Lans asked lwj if lwj still do lovers stuff with wwx (as they really thought wwx was possessed by lan an)

FOUND? Wei Wuxian is Definitely Not Possessed by CursedBlessing (T, 20k, WangXian, Misunderstandings, General Dumbassery, Humor)

#1 I think was deleted. I know the fic they're asking about and I can't find it either.

Number 1 is the correct fic, it's just Chapter 3. / Yeah, 1 IS the correct fic, op's scene is the entirety of ch. 3

~*~

2. Hey, I'm looking for a wangxianfic, in which wei ying and lan zhan are already married. Wei ying goes on a night hunt with the juniors and gets hurt. I think it was a cut on the stomach with poison. Lan zhan cares for him but wei ying is almost dying. Lan zhan is davasteted and says that he can't wait for wei ying again. It was a completed work and I think just 4 chapters. Please can you find the title? With kind regards @smarti1997

~*~

3. I'm not sure if this is something I think happened in a fic, or it really exists, but on the off-chance someone know what I'm talking about - the Sunshot Campaign ends differently with Wen Qing/Wen Ning in charge of the Qishan Wen, and as part of reparations(? Maybe?) the family vaults are revealed. Wen Qing warns people not to touch anything but JGS is too greedy and grabs something and dissolves in dust? And then WQ opens the real vault, the first was to stop thieves. Thank you in advance! @katonahottinroof

I know which fic #3 is talking about but i cannot find it either, gonna go deep dive on ao3 tho (is it that one where the wens have a secret passage into the throne room that opens only with wen blood isnt it. unless im mixing fics too)

FOUND! ❤️ Gentians in bloom by teawater (M, 251k, WangXian, XiQing, XuanLi, Canon Divergence, Political Marriage, Dysfunctional Family, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Hurt/Comfort, Fix-It, LQR bashing (not really), POV Multiple, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Eventual Happy Ending, BAMF WWX, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, madam yu bashing (again not completely), MXY Deserves Better) the thing with jgs happen in chapter 34

~*~

4. Hi writing in hopes that someone remembers this fanfiction.:

i once read a fic where LWJ and WWX were stuck in the Xuanwu cave and WWX was i think on the verge of dying but then something emerges from the waters and gives LWJ a deal that if he gives up his voices then as an exchange he can save WWX's life which LWJ obviously does so his voice goes away but by the end of the fic Wangxian go back to the cave where LWJ gets his voice back because he once again strikes a deal with that creature giving up his immortality or something that has to do with him being worshipped for gaining his voice back. was a one shot that i remember clearly and was on ao3 platform also thank you so much cause this blog has bought me my favorite Wangxian fics.

FOUND! Outside Another Yellow Moon by Vamillepudding (T, 10k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, YLLZ WWX, Fairy Tale Elements, Hurt/Comfort, LWJ Needs a Hug, Curse Breaking)

~*~

5. help. hey i am certain the fanfics in my memories exist but they keep on eluding me so there are these 2 fics:

A) the premise of this story was time travel where modern WWX travels back in time when other WWX is living with the wens in the burial mounds when LWJ comes to the borders with his modern counterpart and when modern wangxian meet they have a sweet reunion in which they share a kiss after that they are joined by the hip much to the mortification of OG wangxian. WY's parents are dead (car accident) but madam Lan's alive and he calls her mother or mom and modern them is engaged they also have their phones by which they click a photo and after coming to modern world WY sees that as proof that it actually happened. read it on ao3 muti chaptered (completed) with either 4 or 6 chapters 6 being maximum

B) in this one the main Lan fam is captured body swap between WRH and LWJ occurs and after LWJ realizes what has happen he commands that his body's head be severed which is currently housing WRH's soul and LXC and LQR are present to see that happening and grieve over LWJ not knowing WRH was the one who died and LWJ doesn't inform them about the body swap but tells the guards to take LXC and LQR to their rooms he keeps his own body's severed head in his room also. LWJ asks guards to bring him WWX which they do but injured and WWX sees LWJ's severed head and gets angry he also practices to be more like WRH so nobody suspects this is the most clear i remember there were also i think one appearance of WQ and some from WX and WC was on ao3 ongoing atleast when i was reading think over 5 chapter but under 10 the last i had checked (i was so curios to know what happens next but i lost the fic)

thx and sorry if its too confusing

5B)

FOUND? where the sky begins by Shializaro (Not Rated, 17k, WangXian, Bodyswap, Blood and Violence, Body Dysphoria, Dissociation, Rape/Non-con Elements, Crack Treated Seriously)

~*~

6. Hello! This is for ficfinder, I have lost track of two fics, and would very much like assistance finding them again!

A ) an Addams family style modern au. I cannot remember the title, but Lan Wangji enjoyed the taste of Hemlock tea, Wei Wuxian always dressed in gothic clothes, A-Yuan keeps getting possessed, Wen Ning would die temporarily every now and then then, and the reason Lan Wangji went to Yiling in the first place was to find his mother (madam lan is alive in this one).

B ) Young Prince Lan Wangji fled the palace to avoid an arranged marriage, and met an older Wei Wuxian and traveled with him, keeping his identity a secret. Lan Zichen catches up with them after Wangxian have spent the night together (bottom LWJ), and Lan Zhan is taken back to the palace. Wei Wuxian returns to claim his hand, revealing himself as Baoshan Sanren’s heir. Fix ends with them watching their kids play in Lan Zhan’s mother’s garden.

If you can help me find these, I would appreciate it very much!!!! ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ @cullen-blue23

6A)

NOT FOUND🔒The Altogether Ooky WangXian Family by FluffyHippogriff (T, 72k, WIP, WangXian, 3Zun, Modern AU, Addams Family AU, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, mostly because death can be overcome with the help of a little necromancy, Kid Fic, Comedy)

FOUND! lovely thorns and singing crows by isabilightwood (E, 37k WangXian, Modern AU, Addams Family Vibes, meet cute at a funeral, Madam Lán Lives, Light Horror, Curses, Possession, Fluff and Humor, Developing Relationship, Found Family, Weirdo4weirdo wangxian, Eventual Smut, Blow Jobs, Hand Jobs)

NOT FOUND🔒darkness there and nothing more by wvlfqveen (M, 21k, WangXian, Addams Family Fusion, Magical Realism, Body Horror, Addams Family Levels of Violence, Identity Issues)

6B)

FOUND! Beyond These Walls, the Heart Calls by wayward_wing (E, 13k, WangXian, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Fluff and Smut, Adventure & Romance, Prince LWJ, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Bottom LWJ/Top WWX, Jealous WWX, LWJ Flirts, Sleeping Together, Masturbation, Slight Voyeurism, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Oral Sex, eating ass, Older WWX, Younger LWJ, Getting Together, Naive LWJ)

~*~

7. Hi. I've been trying to find this Untamed fanfic which I bookmarked but somehow is not in my bookmarked collection anymore! :(. I think it's post-canon but WWX (of course) is injured and LWJ is helping him recover, told from LWJ perspective totally in-character where he has to remind himself to breathe. Once,wj returned to inn room, found WWX gone from the 2nd bed and he tripped over his own feet and was "resigned to the fall". Once he tucked WWX into his bed and sat at his desk to breathe.

FOUND? Always Light My Way by cqlorphan (E, 27k, wangxian, Post-Canon, Getting Together, Friends With Benefits, to lovers, wherein dual cultivation may be counted as a benefit, Jealous WWX, a little bit, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Pining while fucking, angsty sex, Switch WangXian, Bottom LWJ, Service Top LWJ, Topping from the Bottom, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Coming Untouched, Dom/sub Undertones, the angsty sex happens in the beginning but they get past it dw, Oblivious LWJ, archer wwx, Smart WWX, Porn with Feelings, probably at least half of this fic is just that, Panic Attacks, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dual Cultivation)

~*~

8. thank you again for this wonderful blog! loading up on fics for my next offline trip and i have one that is driving me nuts. I remember seeing the reference here awhile back but for some idiot reason didn't bookmark it. What I remember is something like this : its after canon - Wei Ying is back, its after Guanyin's temple - but Lan Zhan has a soulmate to get back to so leaves Wei Ying alone on the road. that scene in Untamed haunted me. does this ring any bells? appreciate any help!! @oldoni

FOUND! Boy Trouble, We've Got Double by saltyfeathers (E, 60k, wangxian, Post-Canon, Case Fic, betrothed to someone else, unfurling of wifexian scrolls: the fic, Pining, Unresolved Sexual Tension, (it gets resolved lol), WWX POV, Protective wwx, WWX centric, explicit stuff only happens between wangxian, (or wwx and his own hand), Masturbation, get wwx a fainting couch agenda, Alcohol, wwx has some brain problems in this one, Consensual Non-Consent, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, straight boy WWX)

~*~

9. Hello! Please help me find this fic. I don’t remember much, but there was an OC lan elder, who is rescued or helped by Wei Wuxian. I am not sure but Wei Ying didn’t know he was a lan or something. Later on they meet again and elder favours or helps him. I am sorry for being vague, but this is what I remember. It would be great if somebody knows what this fic may be !

Hello, this is requester for number 9. I am really grateful for the person who replied but unfortunately I don’t think that it is the fic I am looking for. As far as I remember wasn’t QHJ, rather an OC lan elder. However I really love the suggestion and enjoyed the fic, so thank you for that!

NOT FOUND The Shadows of My Old Palaces, Falling Across The Moats by ChilianXianzi (T, 8k, WangXian, onesided QHJ/WWX, Canon Divergence, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, QHJ lives, Domestic, Angst, POV Outsider, Age Difference, Fix-It of Sorts)

~*~

10. for the FF: it was a fic where wx are full time dom/sub (sub wwx), i dont rmmbr much except that theres a part where jc causes a scene fearing lwj is abusing him (bc fulltime d/s, he chooses what wwx eats, wears, etc) and jyl has to tell him to shut up and that her and jzx are in a d/s relationship too! i read it ages ago T^T its not "something so flawed and free" by verseau btw! thank u guys <33 love u all mwah

FOUND! rainfall by daltoneering (E, 37k, WangXian, Modern AU, Established Relationship, lifestyle kink, 24/7 D/s, Kink Negotiation, kink discussion, Communication, BDSM, dom lwj, Sub wwx, Top LWJ, Bottom wwx, Kink Exploration, collaring, Body Writing, Breathplay, Orgasm Denial, Bondage, Subdrop, Safewording, Panic Attacks, [Podfic of] rainfall by exmanhater)

~*~

11. Hiii! I don't remember much except for the first few chapters, but the fic was really long. I think the plot started off as "What if the Incident in Qiongdi Path never happened?"

The first chapter or so takes place at Jin Lings one month celebration

Wei Wuxian is really damn depressed the whole time (he's really damn depressed the whole fic actually)

Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan never die. Yanli wants to spend time with Wei Wuxian and she makes some soup, but he gets spooked at some point and Wen Ning helps him run away back to the Burial Mounds???

At some point later on in the fic, Jin Zixuan and Jiang Yanli go to Cloud Recesses and they bring some food for Wangxian.

~*~

12. hii :D im looking for a modern au fic where lz works as a in pharmaceutics and meets wy who is the tech guy of their apartment. he calls himself mo xuanyu and lives with ayuan and is trying to escape his past with the help of police officer nmj. i think there was an autistic lz tag in that fic too. it was so good but i think i forgot to bookmark it.. thanks for your help! @harapecowee

FOUND! Stop and Stay by Fantazy_Eyeland7 (M, 98k, wangxian, LXC/NMJ, JC/WQ, JYL/JZX, LXC/JGY, SL/XXC, WIP, Blood and Violence, Hurt WWX, Kidnapping, Torture, WWX discovering weighted blankets, Pining LWJ, Modern, FBI Agent NMJ, Protective LWJ, Emotional Manipulation, Toxic JGY, not JGY friendly, LWJ learning how to communicate, WangXian have competence kinks, adopting children, Bad Parent YZY, Protective JYL, Protective JC, Protective NMJ, Past Child Abuse, Precious LSZ, Baby LJY, Warning: XY, Blind Character, slaps top of WWX: This bad boy can fit so much trauma inside, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Everyone is ending up in well-needed therapy, Child Abandonment, Genius WWX, Obsessive XY, Yunmeng Siblings Feels, Eventual Smut, Bad Parent JFM, Junior Quartet Dynamics, (As Babies!), Implied/Referenced Suicide, sort of a slow burn, but not really, because they KNOW, they just can't, Good Uncle LQR, eventually) It doesn't have the austistic!lz tag, but everything else fits.

~*~

13. Hi! 🤗

I'm looking for two fics:

A) A fic where WQ makes a second operation with WWX and JC. The only thing I remember is that WWX is really in a bad condition and they ask JC to give the half of the golden core to WWX. He accepts.

B) I'm not sure if it's one o two fics that I'm mixing, but all I remember is that LWJ when he knows about the lost golden core of WWX, decided to make a second golden core inside him to give it to WWX.

Thanks for the wonderful work! 🥰 @wangxiansgirl

13A)

FOUND! The Fire Lapping Up the Creek by notevenyou (E, 66k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Hurt/Comfort, Canon-Typical Violence, Injury, Injury Recovery, Blood, Respiratory Illness, Major Illness, Fever, Grief/Mourning, Burial Mounds, Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Hunger and food scarcity, Surgery, Fix-It of Sorts)

NOT FOUND! Twelve Moons and a Fortnight by stiltonbasket (M, 290k, WangXian, Humor, Slow Burn, Post-Canon Fix-It, Long-Distance Relationship, Epistolary, Love Letters, Family Feels, a-qing lives, teenage romance, Adoption, Romantic Comedy, Happy Ending, Weddings, Case Fic, Parenthood, Politics) might also be, (around chapter 43)?

NOT FOUND! in this place where we don’t have a prayer by Cerusee, Mikkeneko (T, 42k, WangXian)

13B)

FOUND? 🧡 Discarded by teawater (E, 178k, WIP, WangXian, Lots of Angst, Hurt/Comfort, YLLZ WWX, Golden Core Reveal, Case Fic, Depression, Family Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Worth Issues, Angst with a Happy Ending, POV Multiple, BAMF WWX, dubious morals in the Lan sect, Feels, Pining, Grief, Fix-It, BAMF LWJ) If 13B is different from 13A, maybe B is Discarded Lan Zhan creates a "seed core" that Wei Ying can use to grow a new core.

FOUND? these colours fade for you only by doodlebutt (T, 36k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Fluff and Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Everybody Lives, Golden Core Transfer Fix-It, ...eventually, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, bed sharing, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Sunshot Campaign)

~*~

14. Im trying to find a fic

It was modern setting and maybe has cultivation still? wwx is a tattoo artist and I believe lwj saw some type dark energy out side his shop. So he went in and ending up saying he wanted a tattoo, wwx was who ended up talking to him about it and making him a design. I think it had something to do with bunnies and, then finally when the day came for lwj to get the tattoo. He’s like I’m sorry I never wanted one, wwx gets upset and tells lwj to pay him money in cash for compensation. Lwj does that’s all I can remember I think wwx might have adopted or least helps take care of a -yuan. @zerokogane

FOUND! Demon Ink by Jade_Valentine (E, 189k, WIP, WangXian, Flower Shop & Tattoo Parlor, Tattoo Artist WWX, Magic, Chaotic Bisexual WWX, Demisexual LWJ, background NieLan, Slow Burn, Angst, But substantially less angst than canon, Mutual Masturbation, Domestic Fluff, Welcome to my LWJ & NHS friendship agenda, Shower Sex, Brief mentions of past Lan Bro abuse at the hands of LQR, wangxian family feels, WWX is the Best Dad Ever, WWX's canonical abuse at the hands of Madam Yu, Blow Jobs, Slight Make-Up Kink)

~*~

15. Fic finder request please!!

This is a short omegaverse wangxia? I think it might’ve been part of a series? where it’s Omega WWX and YZY gets him married off to LWJ where she expects him to be treated badly. Instead bc the Lana treat omegas very well, WWX is happy and content. Meanwhile JYL is jealous that WWX actually got mating bites and equal status bc Jin Zixuan didn’t even do that for her. I can’t remember anything else. 😅

FOUND!🔒Alliance AU by Ilona22 (E, 21k, WangXian, JYL/OC, Arranged Marriage, A/B/O Dynamics, PWP, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Intersex Omegas, Not JC Friendly, Matchmaking, canon Jiang family dynamics, Family time, Night Hunts, Mention of male omega pregnancy, Intrigue at Jinlintai, Mentions of Prostitution, War, Conflict between characters)

~*~

16. Sorry to be asking this(fic finder), I really don’t remember how I got to this fic but now I cannot find it but I feel like it probably was here

It’s a fic about how when wwx comes back to life he meets lxc instead of lwj in Mo manor. he asks for lwj and that confirms to lxc that he is wwx and not Mo xuanyu and asks him to go back with him to cloud recesses where he takes care of lwj who couldn’t heal after the 33 leash punishment.

At first wwx doesn’t want lwj to know that it’s him. He brings him bunnies and helps him re learn how to play the guqin(he cannot play it due to his injuries and because he hasn’t practiced since he was punished) lan Yuan helps wwx to learn how to play it and lwj starts being more active

Lxc is happy and let’s wwx go to a small one week vacation but lwj gets worse that week, he also discovers mxy is wwx I think

Tsm for the help🙇‍♀️

~*~

17. hi! i’m looking for two fics:

A) one where wei ying lives with ghosts and is a teacher and runs into lan zhan for the first time in years during a class field trip

B) all i can remember is that wei ying wrote a software called yiling

17A)

FOUND! won’t take the easy road by twigofwillow (T, 47k, wangxian, JC & WWX & JYL, WWX & WQ, space au, yearning, found family, complicated family feels, ghosts, food, teacher WWX)

17B)

NOT FOUND Tempo Rubato by Spodumene (E, 107k, WangXian, Modern AU, Angst with a Happy Ending, Romance, Persuasion au, Separations, Mutual Pining, Depression, Miscommunication, Emotional Roller Coaster, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Reconciliation, Eventual Smut, Jane Austen Fusion, Underage Kissing) I think no. 17 might be "Tempo Rubato" but the software is "Stygian"

NOT FOUND The Fated Fortuity by devinokaze (T, 26k, wangxian, WIP, Royalty AU, Modern, Social Media, WWX is Wen Ruohan's son, Qishan Wen Kingdom, stangers to lovers, Prince WWX) The software is called Yin Tiger Tally and Su She tries to claim he wrote it lol.

~*~

18. Hello!! All good? I'm looking for a fic in which WWX becomes a god after his death, I think he's the god of death if I remember correctly. I remember a part where Madam Yu and her Husband (the leader of the Jiang sect) decide to reincarnate... I don't remember much, it's been a while since I read it, another thing I remember is that he communicated with Jiang Cheng through dreams. I already searched the Tag Deity Wei Ying | Wei Wuxian but I didn't find it... Thank you for your work!! @sweettiebah

FOUND! 🔒 Of Destruction and Rebirth by demoniqt (M, 88k, wangxian, JYL/JZX, major character death, rape/non-con, underage, graphic depictions of violence, Slow Burn, Canonical Character Death, God WWX, God Verse, BAMF WWX, Grieving LWJ, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon Divergence, Gods & Goddesses au, JC & WWX Reconciliation, Rabbits, Fix-It, Attempted Sexual Assault, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Canon-Typical Violence, Blood and Gore, Castration, Lots of it, repeatedly, Punishment, Hell)

~*~

19. heyy could u help me find a fic, I only vaguely remember the details

I read this quite a while ago, wwx is some sort of courtesan, pretty sure he works in a brothel, lwj is either a cultivator (like in canon) or he's a noble/king smth like that! he meets wwz in the brothel place and I think wwx is pretty sly, MAYBE he's wearing dresses and I'm pretty sure they get married in the end? I think someone in the lan clan is against wwx (either lxc or lqr) and I'm also pretty sure it's a pwp, they might have been conspiring too, it's all very vague! any help would be appreciated thanks!!!

FOUND! 醉 | drunk; intoxication by sweetlolixo (E, 15k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Mythical Creature WWX, everyone falls in love with weiying at first sight..., Besotted LWJ, Romance, Pregnant WWX, Fluff)

~*~

20. Hi I’m looking for a fix where sizhui and jingyi travels back to the past (maybe to the conference) and they make commentary during the entire time they were waiting to get back to their present. I think in this fix, sizhui revealed that some of the people (madam Yu and others) are listed on lan zhan’s lists. Sizhui also mentions that lan zhan has several lists for different things. Also jinyi called Jin guangshan jin guangshit throughout the whole time they’re there. Thanks

FOUND? A Room Full of Dead People by BurningBlueDiamond (T, 10k, WangXian, Time Travel, Fix-It, but not really, Canon Divergence, Conference in Qinghe but canonically they stay in Gusu, strangely fluffy, POV Outsider)

~*~

[yougottalovebuckybarnes]

Hi, I’m so sorry that you have been having a hard time and that you can’t graduate when you wanted to I know that must be hard but you’re taking the time to look after yourself and that’s the most import thing!!!!

If and when you’re up to it I’d love to see a part 3 of forgive me, also maybe with a bit of Sam included? I’m a strong believer that Sam would 100% be on Bucky and Y/n side

Forgive Me, Pt. 3 (Bucky x Reader)

A/N: This request for a third part was from AGES ago, so I apologize for the long delay lol. On the plus side, I’ve finally graduated from college so that is no longer a worry! :) Anyway, this series will definitely be getting a Part 4. I couldn’t stop writing and coming up with more ideas lol. I hope you all enjoy!

==========

“Hate” had always been such a harsh word to me. Of all the feelings that existed, that was the one that I never could seem to grasp fully. Perhaps my heart was too soft or my nature too forgiving, but I had yet to find a person that I truly hated.

I could not even find it in me to hate Steve Rogers, despite all that had happened. Forgiveness was still a work in progress, but perhaps one day I would forgive him completely.

It had been three months since Bucky had found me in our bathroom with an open medication bottle in my hand, and it had been equally as long since he had spoken to the rest of the team. While I found it impossible to hate any of them, Bucky could not stand to even look at them. We had moved out of the compound within twenty four hours of his confrontation with Steve and hadn’t been back since.

Our little apartment in the city was comfortable, but it was not home. I knew that Bucky felt the same, but he refused to admit it out loud. Several attempts to urge him to reach out to Steve had not gone well, and my heart ached as I witnessed his anger consume him. Bucky had reassured me that I was all he needed now, but I knew deep down that he needed his friends, especially Steve. This anger would destroy him if not confronted properly.

And that was why I reached out first.

I found myself in a quiet little cafe in the city on a early Tuesday morning, sipping on an iced late as I watched people make their way down the street to work. The chair across from me scrapped on the ground, and I looked up to find Steve Rogers taking a seat. His face was solemn, almost shameful as his eyes made contact with mine. It was a version of him that I was unfamiliar with. The weeks of sneering and secret glares had melted away into shame and regret.

Part of me thought I should be content, seeing him humbled in this way. But I could not find it in me to rejoice in this. Steve Rogers was doing just as bad as Bucky was, losing his best friend the way that he had. There had to be a way to remedy this.

“Good morning, Steve.” I spoke softly, watching him evenly.

“Good morning.” Steve nodded in response, looking a little uneasy. “Look, Y/N-“

“You know why I asked to meet with you.” I prompted, pushing past the need for small talk to get into what really mattered. I was also quite honestly not ready to accept his apology either, if that was what he trying to do.

“Yeah.” He sighed, looking away briefly. “I don’t know what else I can do. Bucky won’t respond to any of my messages and I wouldn’t dare show up uninvited to your apartment.”

“That would not have gone well.” I agreed, sipping again on my beverage. “But we need to fix this, Steve. I’ve never seen him like this before. He needs you.”

“No, he needs you.” Steve replied, his voice remaining even. “And I realize that now. I didn’t know how much he cared for you until that night. Hell, I’m surprised he didn’t tell me that you two got married.”

“That really surprised you?” I asked with a slight scoff. “After how you all treated me?”

“I’m not looking for a fight.” He held up his hands slightly. “I’m just wanting to fix things.”

It was silent for a moment, and I let out a small sigh as I nodded in agreement. We were both in agreement for at least this one thing. While I did care for Steve and the others like family before this mess, all I cared about now was making sure Bucky was cared for and supported. In order to do so, we had to work together.

“Is Sam in town?”

“He is.” Steve nodded. “I’m thinking he might be able to help best since he was nutural in this whole thing. Just talk things over with him. If it doesn’t work, we can figure something else out.”

“I agree.” I glanced at my phone, seeing a text from Bucky asking where I was. I began to rise from my place at the small table. “I have to go now. Let me know when Sam can come over to see him.”

“Wait.” Steve’s voice caused me to stop and I looked over at him. “I…I never gave you a chance to explain your side of things, and for that, I’m sorry. I should not have treated you the way that I did.”

I looked at him evenly, my heart aching in my chest at the memories of the day prior to my attempt and Bucky’s hospitalization. After a few moments of silence, I gave him a sad smile. “If you want to know what happened, look at the Tony’s camera feeds from that day. The journalist stopped me at the front entrance to the building so you should have clear audio. It’ll tell you all you need to know.”

And without another word, I grabbed my purse and made my way back towards my apartment.

===========

Bucky’s POV

It had been odd waking up without Y/N by my side. That had been all but established as part of our routine, early mornings spent together in bed. But for some reason that had been broken on a random Tuesday, and part of me wanted to investigate why.

But her return only an hour later had washed all my worries away and our regular life routines resumed as normal for the next week. Part way through the week, Y/N had left the apartment to run a few errands so I was left on my own on the couch watching reruns of ‘The Office’. But a sharp knock on my door interrupted my plans of relaxation.

I approached the door, assuming that Y/N had forgotten her key inside after I had locked it behind her. But the familiar face of Sam Wilson surprised me as I found him on the other side. “Sam?”

“How’ve you been, man? “ Sam smiled.

“How do you know where I live?” I returned a smile hesitantly, wondering if the others had sent him as one last resort to connect.

“I saw Y/N on the street.” He replied casually, and my shoulders relaxed slightly. “She thought it would be a good idea for me to visit!”

“Of course. Come on in.” I stepped aside, letting him into our apartment and shutting the door gently. “I haven’t heard from you in months. Where have you been?”

“Long term mission abroad.” Sam sighed, sitting down on the couch. “It was quite an interesting experience. But not as interesting as finding out you moved out of the compound. What happened?”

I froze slightly at his words. “Did Steve send you?”

“Can’t I just be concerned about my friend?” Sam replied, scoffing slightly.

“I’m not saying you can’t.” I snorted, sitting down on the opposite end of the couch. “But this feels like an interrogation. I have had enough of those to last a life time.”

“I did speak to Steve, but he only gave me a few details. But I also don’t want to hear just one side. I want to hear from you.” Sam replied, glancing at me. “You two are incredibly close and now you live far apart from each other. What happened?”

All that had happened began to play again through my mind. The article published, the attitude shifts from the others, the gunshot to my shoulder, finding Y/N with the medicine bottle in hand. It was almost too hard to handle. But I willed myself to speak, telling my friend all that had happened.

“How can I forgive him for this?” I asked, my voice cracking slightly. “How can I forgive all of them for this? They did not give her a chance to explain herself, and made her feel like she was worthless. I could’ve lost her forever.”

“How does Y/N feel about this?” Sam prompted gently.

“She wants me to reach out to Steve.” I sighed, sinking back into the couch. “I don’t know how she can forgive him so easily, after all that has happened.”

“Y/N talked to me too, Bucky.” My eyes flickered over to Sam, surprised by his words. “She is worried about you, deeply. “

“I’m doing just fine.” I scoffed, but slightly concerned by his words. How had I not known she was worried about me?

“So you say.” Sam replied, almost skeptically. “Don’t you miss everyone? Steve at least?”

“Of course I have!” I bristle slightly, my metal fist clenching slightly. “But how do I move on from this?”

“I know you can’t immediately forgive the others for this, and that is understandable.” Sam spoke firmly. “But you can’t stay this angry forever. It will destroy you.”

“I can be as angry as I damn well please!” I snapped, glaring at him. “They almost caused her to end her life!”

“Bucky-“

“No!” I rose from the couch, a wave of rage flowing over me. “You don’t get it, and why would you? It wasn’t your wife!”

“No, but she is my friend!” Sam did not move, keeping his gaze steady with mine. “And she is scared that she is losing you, Bucky!”

“I need you to leave.” I shake my head, walking to the door and pulling it open. “Now.”

Sam clenched his jaw slightly but did not respond as he rose from the couch before walking to the door. Just as he was about to step through into the hall, Y/N appeared with a handful of grocery bags in hand. Her smile of greeting faded as she sensed the tension in the room. “What’s-“

“Please leave, Sam.” I repeated firmly, watching him leave before shutting the door behind him. “Why did you invite him here?”

“Maybe because he’s one of your friends and you could use a visit from one?” Y/N walked into the kitchen, placing the groceries on the counter before turning to me. “Why did you throw him out of our apartment?”

“Because everyone is insisting that I must forgive Steve!” I snapped, my jaw clenched. “I can’t even fathom how you can stand the thought of him!”

“Bucky, I still haven’t forgive him yet! It’s too hard!” I shake my head as I watched him through pained eyes. “But I’m not as angry anymore. You can’t let this anger consume you!”

“I heard the exact same thing from Sam.” I let out a bitter laugh. “I can be as angry as I want!”

“Bucky…”

“Did you coordinate this with Sam? Steve too?” I scoffed, not even hiding my anger anymore. “Why are you working with the people who want you dead?”

Y/N’s face went blank for a moment before her eyes filled with hurt. Deep hurt. I had never regret speaking as I quickly as I did in that moment.

“Alright.” Her voice was quiet, trembling slightly as she picked up her purse from the counter. “Dinner’s on the counter. I’m going to go stay somewhere else for the night.”

“Y/N…” My voice cracked as I reached out to grab her hand, but she slipped away from my touch and out the door, slamming it hard behind her.

I walked over to the couch, sitting back down quietly before the first tears began to fall. I could not remember when they stopped, if ever. Perhaps the anger had already destroyed me. And perhaps I had already lost the love of my life because of it.

=====

TAGLIST (from the last part! If you wanted to be added or removed, just let me know lol)

@missvelvetsstuff

@erinallene

@ladyalexandranna

@angelwatson

@buckyalpine

@ada728

@bwhitewolfbarnes

@kjah97

@ineverybreathofyou

@sarbear94

[mikachacha]

𝙰𝚕𝚕 𝚃𝚘𝚘 𝚆𝚎𝚕𝚕 (𝙱𝚊𝚍𝚊 𝙻𝚎𝚎 𝚡 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛) 𝙿𝚝. 3

Synopsis: Bada wanted you to stay in Korea with her as she found work there but then your relationship is falling apart rapidly.

Warnings: toxic relationship and behaviours, angst. This'll be pretty heavy so please if you're not into this kind of stuff, you can ignore this update and wait for the regular fluffs and smuts 🫶🫶

(A/N: i hope none of y'all are experiencing this in real life or if you have experienced this, im so sorry that you have gone through such shit relationship but don't give up, yeah? Things will get better eventually.)

Prologue | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 |

Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8

🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁

It hasn't been well for you and Bada ever since that incident while meeting her friends. You still couldn't believe how she can do that to you. You wanted to get away but at the same time you want to mend your relationship with her. You didn't wanna lose her despite everything that has happened. Plus she's showing lots of effort for you to forgive her. She even got an apartment in Seoul so you and her can live there and won't have to pretend to be best friends anymore like you did at her parents' house. It was a big step for you both but then it also meant that whenever a fight would break out between you and her, you had no one to run off to.

"Jesus.. You scared me!" you exclaimed. You were in the kitchen, making some tea since you just couldn't fall asleep. You've been having a hard time falling asleep the past few days as thoughts plague your mind. Bada noticed you weren't in bed next to her so she got up and searched for you, only to find you making tea in the kitchen.

"I'm sorry my love.. Didn't mean to scare you. Was just confused since you weren't there beside me. Having trouble falling asleep?" she asked and you nodded. She wrapped her arms around you, pulling you in for a warm embrace and kissing the top of your head. You melted in her arms. You missed moments like this with her.

"Baby.. I may need to go back to the states soon. I got a job offer there." you told her and she hugged you even tighter, like it's her own way of telling that you shouldn't go back and to just stay with her in Korea.

"Y/N.. Do you really wanna leave me all alone here? I got this apartment for us and then you're gonna go back to the states?" Bada's questions made your heart ache. You didn't wanna leave her despite everything.

"I.. I don't know if I'll be able to find a job here, Bada.. I don't speak Korean that well and I don't want you to shoulder all the expenses for us." you tried to reason with her that led to an hour long discussion about applying as an English teacher there or working from home as long as you don't leave her. You were tired and just wanted to sleep so you agreed. The next morning, Bada helped you search for jobs before she went to her own. She has been hired as a teacher at a dance studio nearby and she's got to work with artists as well. You're happy for her since it has been her dream to be able to work with artists and teach people to dance.

"So baby, we're going somewhere this Friday. The studio is holding a welcome party for me and I want you to be there with me. I want you to meet my workmates and some friends." Bada said as she came home one day. What happened when you last went out with her to meet with someone didn't end up well but you wanted to move past that and you also didn't want to disappoint her so you agreed to go with her. You really don't want to start an argument with her as you're still trying to fix your relationship up.

"Yeah.. Is it a formal event? Do I need to really dress up?" you asked and she placed her head on your shoulder. She played with your hand, drawing patterns and kissing it.

"Maybe a dress would be fine. It's not too formal plus you look amazing either way." Bada says that made your heart flutter and heat to creep up your cheeks. She really knows how to win you over even with just words.

The night of the event came and it was rather chill. You didn't feel that out of place since you've been studying Korean when you had time to spare. You were able to hold conversations and didn't cling to Bada that much. You were having fun, chattering with some of Bada's friends when you saw something that shattered you to pieces. It was Bada and a girl who looked so familiar. It was Redy, one of Bada's exes before she started dating you. She was clinging to Bada like they're still a couple and the sight made you feel physically sick that you had to excuse yourself to the bathroom. You're just crying there, trying to convince yourself that it's probably nothing and that you're just overthinking stuff when the door opened and there stood one of Bada's dancer friends.

"Hey are you okay? What happened? Should I call Bada to come here?" the woman asked and you shook your head, wiping your tears away. You're embarrassed that this stranger saw you in a vulnerable state.

"Y-yeah I'm okay.. Sorry you had to see me like this.. But I'm good, everything's good. No need to call Bada." you assured her and she offered to help you freshen up which really helped you calm down.

"I'm Monika by the way and if you need to talk to someone, you can reach me via Instagram." Monika says and you followed her on instagram to which she reciprocated. You thanked her and gave her a hug just in time that Bada came in the bathroom, looking for you and saw you hugging Monika. The look on her face terrified you and your heart sank knowing that this will be another fight between you and her.

Monika excused herself when she saw Bada and now, you're left alone with your girlfriend who looked really pissed off. She looked at you before grabbing you firmly by the wrist and basically dragged you back to the car. The whole car ride was filled with deafening silence but it was a whole different scenario when you were finally inside your shared apartment.

"So what was that all about? Lusher told me that you excused yourself to go to the bathroom and haven't returned after 20 minutes. What were you doing there? Flirting with Monika?! What the hell is wrong with you, Y/N?! Am I not enough?!" Bada yelled at you and you flinched. She was still holding on to your wrist rather tightly and it's starting to hurt now.

"Let me go, Bada.. You're hurting me.." you told her and she did let you go but she didn't stop yelling at you and accusing you of cheating.

"Hurting you? Have you ever thought about how much you've hurt me when I saw you hugging Monika?! Who knows what else happened there!" Bada was absolutely furious and you're starting to get pissed off as well. She's accusing you of cheating yet you saw her and Redy looking like they're still together while Bada couldn't be bothered to even check on you, spend at least a minute with you in that party.

"You're really going absolutely crazy about me hugging Monika when you were the one having her ex cling to them and couldn't be bothered to check on their girlfriend the whole night! I was crying in that damn bathroom because you were never there for me, you were paying more attention to your damn ex more than me! How was I supposed to react to that, huh?!" you finally snapped back and Bada just stormed off to your shared bedroom and locked you out so you slept on the couch that night.

The days went by and you could really feel you and Bada drifting apart. She wouldn't even look at you, wouldn't speak to you. It was horrible and you felt like everything was your fault. How did it come to this? What went wrong? Where was the Bada you once knew and loved? You were about to message her when a friend messaged you first, asking if you and Bada broke up since all your pictures together are apparently deleted from Bada's socials which was a shock to you. You checked and sobs wracked your body at what you saw. It was true, it seems like Bada has erased you from her life already.

With a heavy heart, you grabbed all your belongings and packed your bags. You left the apartment and booked a hotel. You're just gonna stay there for a bit until you can find a cheap apartment to stay. You were planning on leaving Korea once your contract with the company you're currently working at ends. You deactivated all your socials and only kept in touch with your friends and family from the states. You just wanted to be alone and away from Bada to really think things through. To think if the relationship is still worth it or if you needed to just let go of it.

—————

𝚃𝚊𝚐𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝:

@lil-elliesgf, @efyyylee, @hwm1hyun, @mikaleialt, @bunnywonyo, @badaswifey, @mrs-grim-reaper

[reyanfia]

the warrior and his healer — neteyam x reader ☄. *. ⋆➢ part one!

other chapters are up! read it here -> chapter 2, chapter 3, chapter 4

setting: awa'atlu, pandora

pairing: neteyam x fem!metkayina!reader

warnings: nothing much in this part, but if we are talking about the entire series, mentions of bl00d, a bit of angst, teyam survives!

summary: the newcomer seems to enjoy your company! he seems to like what you do, too. let's hope nothing bad happens to your study buddy.

a/n: I actually requested this to @bonnibuckets, and they did great at writing it! but I wanted to try and write it myself. pls enjoy ^^ by the way, I'm replacing y/n with _____ because I personally find y/n weird to read. and yes, it is like loaksky's style, but I don't think it should be a problem. :)) a lot of the medicinal stuff in here is made up since little about healing is known in avatar.

"ah! here she is." tsireya smiled as she skipped into your marui, dragging the eldest sully boy from behind her.

you looked up from your papers, meeting eyes with them both. figuring she brought him to you to fix up some injuries, you placed your studying materials aside.

you hadn't acquainted yourself with any for the sully kids, but you have watched them train with tsireya, ao'nung and rotxo.

from your observations, you thought that the younger sully boy, lo'ak, was the first one who tsireya would bring into your marui for any injuries that had to be healed. it didn't cross your mind that the eldest would be hurt before him.

you weren't an official healer, to be exact. but you are training to be one. ronal, the tsahìk, had announced that due to the lack of healers in the village, she will be choosing a few more girls to help out the elders. but to be qualified to do so, they must have enough knowledge about medicine and healing.

tsireya dubbed you to be the best among the other girls, as to probably why she brought neteyam to you.

tsireya's beaming smile stayed on as she sat neteyam down in front of you. "here, he scuffed himself by the corals. would you mind patching him up, ______?"

you glanced at his bleeding forearm and back to her. "no, I don't mind." you gave her a small smile, which she enthusiastically returned before she ran off.

you then got up and went to your shelves. "i'd thought that your brother would come running in bleeding first," you stated as you grabbed the covered bowl of healing salve.

neteyam laughed. "well, he did get hurt. but it seems tsireya has taken him for herself to tend to."

you smiled, and though you were facing away from him, he could see it. "she has talked a lot about him the past few days. i've heard more about him than the firstborn son of toruk makto."

you set all the things you needed onto the floor. you sat where you previously were, preparing to tend to the cuts on the arm.

he felt his face warm when you said it. "you don't have to call me that," he could barely look into your eyes, something you found odd. you'd expected him to be a little more confident than his brother. seems the roles have switched.

"why not? i suspect people call you that all the time back in the forest." you dipped the cloth into the bowl of water, and started dabbing around the wound to clean it.

the boy before you winced. "ah— well, yeah. i guess it feels weird to have somebody new saying it to me." he replied, clearing his throat after.

you nodded. you also took notice of the abnormal rasp in his voice, possibly because of all the breath-holding and accidental swallowing of the ocean water.

after you finished cleaning the wound, you took a small amount of the healing salve. "this is going to feel a little cold," you warned, applying it onto the cuts. it only soothed the pain more. neteyam felt instant relief as you gently rubbed it into his azure skin, the sting immediately going away.

as you were busy tending to the injury, he sat still. but his eyes roamed and observed.

he watched your brows furrow in focus, your clean hand going up to your hair to tuck it behind your ear every now and then. he looked at the plants and scriptures you were studying, there was a pile of it by your right.

you reminded him of himself. hard-working and busy.

"what's all that?" he asked, pointing towards the pile of things. your head snapped up to him first, then to where he pointed. "oh that, it's uh— stuff that i need to know to become a healer. tsireya thinks im good at it — probably why she brought you to me."

neteyam glanced from your face, and down to your hands. you were done with the paste — you took a long strip of soft dried seaweed, wrapped it around the wound and secured it in place by expertly tucking the ends in.

"all done. better?" you released his arm, letting him have a look at your handiwork. "much better. tsireya may be right." you smiled at his indirect compliment, as to which he did back.

"maybe i should go now?" neteyam suggested. you were about to let him, but his voice reminded you about that medicine you needed to try out.

"oh! before you go, try this medicine that i made. it'll help with your hoarse voice."

you reached from behind him, revealing a large, curved flower petal that contained a golden-amber like liquid. "it matches his eyes." you thought as you handed it to him. he drank it.

it was surprisingly sweet, it tasted like what humans would call honey, and it alleviated the discomfort in his throat. "how is it? does your throat feel any better?"

he stared at the ground for a few seconds. how on pandora did you manage to come up with such a thing? it worked like a charm.

he nodded vigorously. "it's amazing. now tsireya was definitely right."

you laughed along with him, glad that the mixture you made helped.

you may have just made yourself a new friend.

— ☄. . ⋆✧ .

neteyam can feel kiri's eyes piercing through the side of his face. sighing, he turned to her. "kiri, did i do something wrong?"

she shrugged and looked to his wrapped wound. "you seem oddly happy."

he shook his head at her answer, lying down onto the marui floor. "hm. i wonder why."

and he knows exactly why.

it was calming being in your presence. tranquility was a stranger to him. with all the pressure and expectations, neteyam has not known a day of peace. no one he knew before gave him peace. except now that he's met you. that's fun.

kiri wasn't stupid though. copying him, she sighed. "I wasn't born last night neteyam. what's her name?"

he froze. he remembers tsireya mentioning your name when she dropped him off at your marui, but he forgot it. somehow.

"oh damn. I'm not sure. she's that girl that tsireya always hangs out with. we've seen them together a couple times—"

she cuts him off. "_____? the healer in training?" neteyam nodded against the marui floor, slightly scratching his head in the process. "yep. her."

kiri turns her head upwards, as if remembering how your face looked like. "hm. she's pretty. would be surprised if she liked you back though."

"oh cut it out, kiri." neteyam swatted at her arm. "I don't like her."

she rolled her eyes in response. "yeah well, not yet."

"who are we talking about?" both kiri and neteyam get hit by a blast of cold wind when lo'ak opened the marui entrance. "ah! there you are. had fun on your date with tsireya?" kiri teased, barely dodging whatever it was that lo'ak had thrown her way.

"shut up! it wasn't a date." neteyam couldn't see much while lying down, but he saw enough to catch a glimpse of his brother's blushing face. he chuckled to himself at his siblings continue to bicker.

and as eclipse settled in, he slowly fell asleep then, his last thought being about you.

©ronalsgirl

tagging: @azaleaniath @theycallmesia

those who request to be in the taglist under this chapter, will be tagged in the next one. thank you!

next part will be out soon :] [next part is out! check top of this post.]

[eufezco]

IM ALL IN FOR YOUR STRANGER THINGS ERA 🫶🏻🫶🏻 if you want to and can could you write something where billy is dating the good girl from school and everyone tells her that he’ll break her heart bc it’s billy hargrove but in reality billy wants something serious with her

AAAAAAAA THANK YOU SO MUCH BABY 🫶🏻

Everyone in the high school parking lot stared at Billy's car as he parked. He's been the center of attention since he arrived at Hawkins two years ago. "What time do you finish? I'll come to pick you up." Billy fixed his hair looking at his reflection in the car mirror, you looked at your feet, your cheeks growing hot as you felt everyone's eyes on you two. "At 5 pm." Your boyfriend hummed. "I'll be here at 4:30." He leaned to you and kissed your cheek. "Let's go." Billy got out of the car and so you did, noticing how all the girls were checking out your boyfriend, which you didn't blame them for. Billy approached you and hugged your waist with one of his arms, letting those girls know that he was already taken. You took advantage of his movement and got closer to him, practically hiding on one side of his body.

When you entered the high school, you needed to part your ways because Billy had to go to the gym and you had maths. "I'll see you later, beautiful." He cupped both of your cheeks and gave a sweet kiss to your lips. You showed him a little smile and he left. You pressed your books against your chest as you walked down the hallway. "Y/n!" You heard a voice calling your name behind you, you stopped and turned around to find Nancy walking towards you. "Hey Nance." She had maths too so you both went to the classroom together talking about your final exams, about the school newspaper, but Nancy seemed worried to you. As if she needed to let something out. "Y/n, I wanted to ask you something."

"Yeah, sure, what is it?"

"Are you dating Billy? Billy Hargrove?" The question surprised you because at this point you assumed everybody knew. You nodded. The girl was also surprised because how can someone like you be dating someone like him. She thought of the best way to tell you this. Her opinion of Billy was based on how she knew he had treated other girls. He used them. He was mean, rude, an asshole she might say. "Can I tell you something? As a friend?" You nodded again, wanting to hear what she had to say because you trusted Nancy. "I don't think he's good for you."

"He is good. Billy is the best, he-" You firmly confirmed to her. Nancy shook her head. "You might think he is, but he's using you y/n. And when he's done with you, he will ditch you like he has done with plenty of girls before." Your heart hurt, and your eyes started to get glossy with tears. Thinking you were just another one of all the girls he'd been with hurt your feelings, even more, when Nancy was the one making you doubt this hard of your relationship. "I'm sorry, y/n." Her hand landed on the lower part of your back. You shook your head, wiping away your tears. You didn't say anything else besides 'it's okay’.

Apparently, Nancy told Steve who sat with you and Nancy during lunchtime to talk to you. Thanks to that, Jonathan also found out, and you've never seen him and Steve agree on one thing except for their opinions on your boyfriend. "We're keeping you from getting your heart broken, y/n." Jonathan was trying to find your gaze as he put his hand on yours, but your eyes were focused on your food. Getting your heartbroken, again. You didn't want that to happen. "I gotta go." You announced and left the table, your three friends looking at you as you left.

Your last classes were long and slow for you. You avoided them succesfully for the rest of the day until it was finally 5 pm. Your feet walked fast to Billy's car. He was leaning against the trunk, smoking and waiting for you. He stepped on the cigarette when he saw you, that playful smirk of his showing up on his lips, but the moment Billy saw your face, it disappeared. You went directly to his chest, hiding your face there. At first, Billy stood there with his arms open, not hugging you because of the surprise. However, when he realized you were sobbing, both of his arms wrapped around your body. "What happened?" One of his hands went to the back of your head, Billy clenching his jaw to the people watching and looking for anyone with guilt on their face, trying to find if someone had made you cry. "What happened, y/n? You have to tell me or I won't be able to help you."

"Can we just leave?" His hands found their way to your cheeks as he nodded, his eyebrows arched, showing you the compassion you needed. Billy wiped away your tears and looked into your sad eyes. He had never hated something so much as seeing the sadness in your bright eyes. He let you go and went into the car.

Billy drove in silence, with one of his hands on your lap holding yours until he parked in front of your house. "Okay, now you gotta tell me what happened." That's when you started crying again, your hands covering your face as Billy turned his body to you. He had never known how to act when people cried in front of him because when he was a child, his father would let him cry all day long until his throat bled. But with you, it was so smooth, his reactions were so pure, Billy didn't even need to think. He took your shaking hands away from your face and held them firmly between his. "I don't want to be just another one for you."

"What?" Billy was confused. "You've been with a lot of girls and- and I don't want to be another one of them."

"That's not like that. We're dating. You and I are dating. Do you know when was the last time I dated someone? In elementary school. What I've had with other girls it's nothing like what we have. You're the only one for me." You sobbed on last time, cleaning your nose with your jacket cuff. He didn't want to think about who could have possibly put those thoughts in your head because he wanted to focus on you now. Billy leaned even more and kissed your lips, tasting your salty tears on them. "You are the only one for me." He repeated one more time, making you smile shyly.

[pandorascripts]

Hey I love your writing style and was wondering if you could write Wednesday Addams x a reader who’s a Gym Rat

Sweaty Kisses💋

Summary: Wednesday knows she likes you, and she knows you like her. It’s only a matter of courage, and the perfect rom-com setting.

pairing: wednesday x fitnessjunkie!fem!reader

warnings: nothing just fluff :)

note: thanks for the request! I had an idea like this a bit ago and wrote it into my note document w other ideas, this gave me the shove to write it! thank u sm :)) also to the other person who sent in the request for another yandere wednesday, it’s like 3/4 done, just need the climax! ——————————

Wednesday’s typing stopped abruptly as you walked out the door. You had just finished showering and unfortunately for Wednesday, had zero boundaries, so out you came wearing nothing but tight a spandex and a clad sports bra. 

A subtle glance to her right, and Wednesday was a mess. You’d been drying your hair off with a towel, abs on full display for all to see. Wednesday gulped, taking in a shaky breath before she continued writing. In this current chapter, Wednesday let her mind wander, righting down anything her mind came to. Unfortunately, Wednesday found Viper also fawning over a tall, muscular woman. Although it seemed Viper was getting the biggest score of her life. 

In a fit of rage, she yanked out the piece of paper, missing the recycling bin by a foot. Thing scampered over, fixing her mistake. 

She breathed in again, readjusting her posture, and continued typing the proper storyline. 

You took a quick glance over to Wednesday, watching as her fingers pressed roughly on the keys. Looking away, you paced over to your cabinet, pulling out powder and milk. 

You whistled whilst you worked, scooping one and a half cups of powder, before pouring exactly three cups of milk. You grimaced as the taste hit your mouth. 

“If you do not enjoy the taste, then why force yourself to drink it?”

Unlike most people, you didn’t jump at Wednesday’s startling presence. 

“Because protein is protein, Wednesday.” You smiled at her, leaning up and against the counter. Thanks to multiple threats to Weems, she’d agreed to give the two of you a make-shift kitchen in your dorm. 

A confused looked graced your face as Wednesday’s eyes flickered down. You would’ve believed that she was looking at your lips, like every other rom-com scenario, but this was too low. You ignored it, marking it off as her staring at the floor. It truly was odd, Wednesday seemed to believe heavily in eye contact. 

“Ridiculous.”

You tutted, tapping your fingers against the blue bottle. “You should work out with me some time.”

Wednesday looked up at you, severely unamused. “Why would I?”

You shrugged. “I dunno, for fun?”

“I don’t do fun.” 

“You do autopsies. And you desecrate graves, and you make threats, and—“

“I’m going to stop you from that mess of a sentence.” Her eyes pierced through yours, an intense look over her face shadowed her usual deadpan one. “You need to find something other than working out. I can’t stand the amount of groaning and panting that happens when you do.”

A deep blush covered your cheeks. You tried to utter out words, but they died flat on your tongue. 

“Yeah,” you agreed, nodding your head and bashful you ducking it. 

Wednesday pinched herself hard, biting her lip as she did so. 

“Thought you were still writing,” you said, trying to change the topic. Luckily, it worked. 

“I was, I’ve seemed to his an impasse in my story. I decided to cut it short today.”

You nodded. “Makes sense.”

Wednesday’s eyes flickered down once again, and you watched as she pinched herself. She muttered something incoherent, clearing her throat. 

That’s when it hit you. She was staring straight at your abs. 

“Do — Do you want me to put a shirt on, or?”

Her head snapped up. “What?”

“You keep looking at my stomach. Is it bothering you?”

Wednesday’s eyes widened in surprise. “No — No, you’re alright. It’s not a horrible sight.”

Your jaw dropped. Did you have too much protein or did Wednesday just… flirt with you? Your mouth bobbed up and down a couple times, before altogether dropping. 

Wednesday sighed, her finger extending out and putting your jaw back up. She patted your cheek, her lip twitching slightly. As she walked away you stared at her retreating form in awe. 

Holy fuck. 

That was the only thought that rang in your head. Even as the night progressed, and Wednesday shut off the lights for bed, you laid up and awake staring at the ceiling. 

Wednesday thought she’d broken you, and as much as that pleased a dark part of her, she didn’t want you broken just yet. She really didn’t mean to make that comment about your abs, it just slipped out. But, ever since she’d said that, Wednesday grew worried. It wasn’t the fact that you may be straight, lord knew you weren’t, it was the concern that maybe she’d crossed a line. 

As Wednesday’s thoughts raced and passed through her mind, some of them thinking about your abs, other about your biceps, the biggest — and most recurring — one was the thought that maybe you didn’t like her. Although, Wednesday knew you did. She saw it when she swayed her hips just too much, your eyes lower than her head, she saw it when you shot heart eyes at her, practically drooling. It was also obvious in the sense that when she’d asked your previous roommates if you’d done that to them, they’d all say no.  

It wasn’t a guessing game, Wednesday knew you felt the same. It was just a matter of courage. 

Your arms shook as you raised yourself once more, a huff of hot air blew out of your mouth. Lowering back down, you took in a deep breath, shaking as you rose again. You repeated these steps once more, desperate to not give up. 

“Are you going to give up?”

“N — No,” you huffed out.

It seemed as with every pushup you did, Wednesday’s presence on your back only increased. 

“80,” she counted. 

You rose again. 

“81.”

Down. Up. 

“82.”

With that, you stomped your foot and Wednesday got off you in an instant. You flopped down, breathing out heavily. “Still not good.”

A tut of disapproval echoed from somewhere in the room. “You got eighty-two push-ups with me on your back. That’s not at all a simple task. Give yourself some credit, please.”

A sheepish smile taped itself to your face. “Thanks, man.”

A glass clinked right in front on your face, which was smushed against the cold floors. A second later, a pink straw was plopped in there too. “Oh.”

Wednesday cleared her throat. “It’s imperative you stay hydrated. Dehydration isn’t a funny thing.”

“Thanks,” you whispered, busy trying to handle your blush. 

Trying to not move a muscle, you opened your mouth, bobbing it as if the straw would come closer. 

“You truly are a child.”

“A buff one.”

You may not have been able to see Wednesday, but you could practically hear the eye roll. 

Then, black nail polish covered your eye sight and a moment later, the straw was bent into your mouth. 

You smiled as you drank the ice cool water, goosebumps covering your skin. A content sigh escaped your closed lips. 

Wednesday shivered before clearing her throat. She watched as you stood up, stretching and groaning. 

You walked up to Wednesday, that stupidly hot grin on your face. You held out your hand, slapping it against Wednesday’s. She reluctantly slapped back, hitting the back of your hand before giving you a fist bump.

A giddy laugh erupted out of your throat, bubbling into the warm air. Wednesday watched as the world turned to slow motion. The sunlight shined through the window, highlighting your skin and casting you in an ethereal glow. She could’ve fainted at the sight. You towered over Wednesday, your hair perfectly set, some strands sticking to your sweaty forehead, others stray and wild. 

“I’m go —“

Wednesday grabbed the back of your neck, bending it down so she could meet your lips. You stumbled over yourself because of her force, but you recovered soon after. You pushed against her mouth with as much pressure as she was applying, hands holding her waist. Wednesday leaned back, slightly craning her neck to the side before kissing you once again. Her free hand traveled south, lightly tracing your abs. Wednesday’s mouthed slotted perfectly against yours, and you couldn’t ignore the image of her with smudged lipstick. You shuddered out a breath, eyes flickering open as you pulled back. 

Wednesday was the first to speak, not bothering to put any distance between you two. “You’ve robbed me of the one thing that was mine to control,” she husked out. 

You breathed in, waiting for her to finish that sentence. You were hoping it was something good. 

“My self control is no longer a gift, instead a short fuse that seems to go off when I’m around you.”

You grinned ear to ear, trying to contain it by biting your lip. 

Wednesday’s hand came up, putting pressure on your bottom lip as she drew it out from under your teeth. 

“I really don’t understand what’s gotten into me,” she spoke, staring intensely at your kiss swollen lips. 

Her hands idly scratched along your abs, goosebumps rising in her wake. 

“I don’t have that big of a vocabulary, Wednesday, so I’m just gonna sound like an idiot here, you’re really fucking pretty and I can’t think right around you.”

A low chuckle bubbled out of Wednesday’s throat. The sound wrapped around your ears, heart eyes wide and proud. Her laugh was like Heaven, enough to start wars over and drive men insane.

“You truly do have a way with words, cara mia.”

You drew in a sharp breath, releasing it shakily. “Do that again. Please,” you whispered, gently grabbing her hand and placing a kiss on it. 

“What? The Italian?”

You nodded your head, absolutely head over heels for this woman. 

“After you shower.” Wednesday placed a finger on your upper chest, gently pushing you away. “You’re truly a gift, but you just got done doing eighty pushups with me on your back. You’re coated in sweat.”

You laughed, smiling brightly as you walked into the bathroom.

[mightyflamethrower]

25 reasons Trump won’t pay a dime to E. Jean Carroll

That eye-popping $83 million judgment will not survive an appeal. A proper settlement would subtract at least $82,972,000.

In 2019, a strange woman named E. Jean Carroll accused Donald Trump of raping her in a changing room of the Bergdorf Goodman department store in Midtown Manhattan. Trump called her crazy, and a jury found him liable for both sexually abusing her and defaming her with the “crazy” talk. Last week, a New York jury decided Carroll deserves $83 million for defamation.

Here are 25 reasons why that’s nuts.

1) Carroll has said rape is “sexy”

She backs up this insane statement with, “Think of the fantasies” (which my wife and I can’t stop saying to each other). For the record, having someone forcibly violate you against your will is the exact opposite of “sexy.”

2) She’s already bragging about shopping sprees

Remember in “Goodfellas” when that idiot shows up at the party with his wife wearing a $20,000 fur coat and De Niro tells him to “bring it back”? When you run a scam, you need to lay low for a while. Carroll, conversely, is making appearances on national television telling Rachel Maddow she’s going to buy her a “penthouse in Paris” as well as fishing gear and a motorcycle for her counsel (could she pick weirder presents?). Her lawyer awkwardly murmured, “Uh, that’s a joke.”

Yeah, this whole thing is a joke.

3) The scenario she described came from her favorite TV show

She is a self-described “Law & Order” fan, and there is an episode wherein a man muscles his way into a changing room at Bergdorf Goodman and sexually molests a woman. This is likely where she got the idea. She’s also a big fan of “The Apprentice.” Would you like to watch your rapist on TV?

4) She didn’t want to press criminal charges

Being on the cover of New York magazine is one thing, but taking your BS story into an actual courtroom is a whole other level of fraud. When Bill de Blasio said he would change the law to make the case admissible, Carroll kept awkwardly repeating, “The experts told me … the time has passed.”

5) They changed the law

The case had no merit because the statute of limitations on civil action had passed. So what happened? The New York State Legislature changed the law. Is there anything that screams “witch hunt” more than that? What are we, Zimbabwe?

6) The man who backed the lawsuit is a major DNC donor

Leftist activist billionaire Reid Hoffman is the money behind this operation. His motive is obviously to bankrupt Trump so he can’t run again. Carroll denied this at first because she’s a liar, but her lawyer was forced to come clean.

7) The whole thing was George Conway’s idea, apparently

Though she denies it, it’s clear this entire plan was concocted by “conservative lawyer” Conway at a radical leftist cocktail party in Manhattan.

8) Carroll’s lawyer is desperate to fix her reputation as a rape-enabler

Roberta Kaplan was supposed to champion victims of sexual assault with her #TimesUp movement, but she used it instead to run cover for perverts such as Andrew Cuomo. She got caught and she got fired. Her comeback included representing Ashley Biden (A Biden lawyer going after Trump? Is anyone surprised?), but this case could permanently rescue her Google results.

9) Carroll’s dress didn’t exist back then

Carroll said the rape happened in the early 1990s. We just learned the particular dress she said she was allegedly wearing did not exist at the time.

10) She cannot remember when the rape happened

We’re not talking about the exact date. She can’t tell us if it was 1993 or 1995.

11) She won’t let anyone test her coat for DNA

Carroll calls the dress her “bad luck dress” and told CNN she will never make a talisman out of it — as though the idea had occurred to anyone. Why did she keep it around? This could be the left’s Monica Lewinsky dress, but she refuses to let anyone analyze it.

12) She doesn’t know if Trump ejaculated

I don’t know if anyone reading this has engaged in sexual intercourse, but evidence of the male orgasm is almost impossible to hide.

13) She is a serial accuser

Despite being a 3.5, she has claimed men have sexually assaulted her at least a half-dozen times. This isn’t proof of Trump’s innocence in and of itself, but it becomes relevant when surrounded by 24 other points.

14) She said it wasn’t sexual

Carroll has said pretty much everything that you could say about this encounter, from “it was not sexual” to “it was the definition of rape.” She said she would not press charges, however, because it would trivialize the experience of illegal aliens who are being “raped around the clock.”

15) She’s not his type

Trump is into elegant Slavs. This woman is like that hysterical chicken lady from “The Kids in the Hall.”

16) The judge and Carroll’s lawyer are pals

We’re told Judge Lewis Kaplan was Roberta Kaplan’s (no relation) mentor back when they both worked at Paul, Weiss, Rifkind, Wharton & Garrison. Roberta Kaplan denies this, but it can’t be denied they worked at the same firm at the same time. That alone is a conflict of interest.

17) Carroll didn’t talk to anyone about the alleged assault, until she did

If a woman is sexually assaulted, she is morally obligated to report it immediately, so the rapist doesn’t do it again. Carroll did not do this. What’s more, she didn’t talk to any of her friends about it. At least not at first. This is peculiar behavior for a blabbermouth.

18) Even if it’s all true, the settlement would be tiny

Carroll alleged that Trump cost her a columnist job at Elle, but the magazine made it clear it ended her contract as an advice columnist based on nothing more than lack of interest. But let’s assume Elle fired her because Trump wrote a mean tweet. A good price for an advice column would be a couple of hundred bucks per piece. That’s $2,000 a year for Elle. Assuming Carroll lives as long as “Dear Abby” columnist Pauline Esther Friedman, who died at 94, that would be a whopping total of $28,000 (Carroll is 80).

So, we’re off by about $82,972,000.

19) She said women “love” being abducted

She told Charlie Rose (remember him?) in 1995 that women love the idea of a caveman knocking them unconscious with a club and then dragging them — by their hair — back to the cave. I’m no feminist, but I’m pretty sure the cerebral contusions from this kind of violence are not a turn-on.

20) She said it wasn’t a big deal

“I’m a mature woman,” she said. “I can handle it.” OK, then why does she need $83 million to recover? That’s four times the amount of money you get when your kid is decapitated.

21) She lives in a Mouse House

Anyone who doubts this lady’s mental state needs to check out her house. She calls it “The Mouse House” because it’s infested with rodents (to whom she has given individual names, such as “Terbrusky”). She has painted the trees blue. She has printed out 27 years of advice column questions and stacked them all over the place. Yes, writers can be weird. But it is impossible to look at her place and not think, “This is nuts.”

22) She is a hoarder

Hoarding is a mental disorder. You can’t sue someone for calling you “crazy” if you have a mental disorder.

23) Her cat is called “Vagina” — seriously

E. Jean Carroll is obsessed with sex and her vagina. She said she lives in the woods because if she lived in the city, she’d have 16 boyfriends. She’s 80, remember?

Her dog “Tits” has blue hair, and her cat is named “Vagina.” The left-wing media thinks this is irrelevant. “Among the stranger complaints made by the former president … was that the jury wasn’t informed about the name of his accuser’s cat: Vagina T. Fireball.” Uh, when the charge is “calling a sane woman crazy,” Vagina T. Fireball matters.

24) She writes notes to herself

Wait, doesn’t everyone do that? Not like this. “The Mouse House” is festooned with bizarre messages. Her microwave says, “Burn Baby Burn.” Her bookshelf says, “Always amused never angry.” And, in a moment of deranged honesty, she taped a note to a lamp that says, “Hold your nerve. Pursue your radical options to the bitter END!”

25) Carroll said she wanted to “rape” Trump

Apparently, she thought having rough sex with him in the changing room would make for a “funny story.” (Wait, I thought she didn’t tell anyone about what happened to her out of fear.) She also suggested she’d do it for $17,000 if he was unable to speak. Sounds awfully rapey, doesn’t it?

Anyone who takes this case seriously and doesn’t see E. Jean Carroll as a complete basket case is a complete basket case.

[drippingmoon]

Merry new year to everyone, again! 🥳💞🥂

I know it wasn’t an event this year, but writing a yearly wrap-up is really therapeutic, you know? So I decided to continue the tradition, and if anyone wants to join me, absolutely view this as an open invitation^^ Introduction is over, and now let’s see what 2023 looked like:

(spoilers: I adored it. I'm also probably going to make this my fixed post, in case anyone ever wants to catch up with me. And also because my second baby, AoS, is growing, and it doesn't have an intro, but I can't leave it out.)

Stats

Aquiver, Aglow: 181k (draft 4) + 195k (draft 5) + hmm, draft 6 is an outlier, because I didn’t rewrite from scratch, so I’m unsure of the written word count. I didn’t change much from draft 5, so I’d say an extra 15-20k. Total word count: 376k+

Remains of a Night: 120k 

Aberration of Sunlight: 134k

This was definitely my most productive year to date. And I got so hungry: the more I wrote, the more I just wanted to keep writing, and honestly? I’m proudest of myself for literally carving writing time whenever I got a spot into my schedule. Mostly it was from 8pm-11pm, but I had a mad run where my only free window was from 1am till I literally felt I was dying… I’ll talk about that separately🤣🤣👌

Though, I'm seriously understating it.

Like a lot of other people, I would have all these hours when I was younger when I didn't have anything to do, yet I'd still find some excuse not to write. "I'm waiting for the right time." "I'm anxious I'm not going to get it right." "Tomorrow! Tomorrow I can start right from the morning, and I'll have more time to write, yeah?" or "I'm too tired now, it's late..." and so the snowball rolled down and downhill and I found every reason under the sun not to write, now that I think about it. Sigh. So much time wasted. But I can't regret it either, because I needed those baby steps at that time.

And now! Now I do what I thought I'd never learn to: I prioritize, and I actually organize my daily stuff so it's not so impossible anymore to have a little bit of writing time. I don't take it for granted either. It feels like such character growth for me, I'm immensely proud of it.

And for the record? This year was a huge improvement over yesteryear mentally, too. It turns out, what I needed to get over my word count anxiety… was to be faced with people who literally didn’t give a fuck about it, and just cared about the story. One of the most unexpected things beta stage managed to do to me… was to quench all my anxieties. It’s as simple as that. I read and enjoy very long books. People also do that. So, I’m very happy to say I’m no longer in a tizzy about ‘quiv. It might kill my chances for trad publishing, it might not. I’ll be happy come what may.

Because it’s so simple how working on ‘quiv or thinking about it makes me joyous, and now I can just enjoy that freely. I will miss writing this story so much. I really will. But at least I’ll have it forever to reread, and I hope this thought brings comfort to everyone who also has problems letting go, like it does to me.

Let’s break it down a little, shall we?🤩

Aquiver, Aglow◇◇◇

My little star of the hour. How fond I am of it.

Like you could glean from above, ‘quiv went through three drafts this year. More specifically: in the first part of the year, practically almost as soon as February arrived. I knew it was getting closer to the final version, and gave me the push to finish all three back to back. I couldn’t justify anymore the bazillion AUs I do with rewrites (basically, WHAT IFs from events, WHAT IF it went this different way, WHAT IF Tyrone actually said this here… and so on and so forth. I wanted to test out as many pathways as possible, and did I exhaust every one of them in existence? Definitely not. I don’t think that can happen, you just keep getting new ideas. On and on. What happened, instead, is that these couple different pathways, at some point, cemented themselves as canon in my mind. I didn’t want to tease myself with alternatives anymore, and that’s when I knew they would be it. Some bits from the first draft, some from the third, some from the second. Some were even draft 6 originals!

It’s a bit of a weird process. I definitely didn’t need to reach draft 3, and meet Mezusa, because I could’ve feasibly made it work with just Yles in the story. It still would’ve made sense, though in a different way. But if I hadn’t… I might’ve missed one of the best characters I’ll ever probably have created, and the story (and Yles) is much stronger for her, if you ask me. 

For that matter, yes, full rewrites every single draft might take a lot of time and effort, but honestly I don’t think I’d ever change my writing process (save for the moments of frustration when I think I will lol) because of the sheer satisfaction of it. Whoever said so long never to settle on the first version, I owe you a beer and probably some curses as well lmao, but very lovingly. You shaped my writing life.

I don’t have much else to share about ‘quiv, other than it’s off with my beta readers my beloved, and maybe a tentative promise that, if anyone wants, you’ll be able to read this precious ball of hope of mine relatively soon. This story is so gentle to me. And as much as I loved to write and work on it, I dearly hope that whoever decides to give it a go, is treated just the same. That’s the only wish I have.

I also don’t know if I’ll go trad or self-published. Instincts say trad, because I fuckin’ suck at marketing (fact), and I know I’d grow resentful if I’d have to put so many hours into advertising when I know I could instead… write. I’m a writer. That’s the only thing I know how to do. Trad, however, might not be as kind on a ~200k as life’s been, so I might not have a choice. If it comes down to that… I’ll just treat it as I do everything. I don't love this story any less if I just write, publish without a fuss, hope that maybe, just maybe, a reader or two will stumble upon the story and we could talk. Maybe we can have the fun of our lives, create some genuine connection. I know that’s applies to a lot of writers. I hope we can accomplish it.

And so, I’ll finish this section of the wrap-up with a kiss to my ‘quiv, for all the warmth it’s ever brought me. It’s come so far, I know it can live distinct from me from now on. It brings me great comfort. And I look forward to the times I’ll reread it, and we can relive our best experiences together. Never thought I’d get to this point. Thank you, ‘quiv.

Remains of a Night♤♤♤

Mwhahaha! And because ‘quiv took all the pressure, this left AoS to be an extremely fun and spirited experience. Literally the chillest I’ve ever been writing. In many ways, it’s more my thing than I expected ‘quiv to be: I get to murder characters left and right, it’s more plot-heavy and banking on the tension created by a creature that horrifies the characters down to their marrow, but still the only way to defeat it is to know it better, which, uh, might have unpleasant consequences for them. It’s got chase and stealth scenes, and it always shoots me with adrenaline to think about them. In short, exactly my jam.

It’s not a new book, nope. You knew it before as Aberration of Sunlight, but from the get-go I felt it would be bigger than ‘quiv. Very fortunately for me, I had a place where to break it, and behold: there’s RoaN (book 1), and AoS (book 2). There might be a third book, which I dearly hope not because titling sucks, but it depends on the Sycamine arc. More on that in AoS.

One last thing to note, before we delve into the story (hoo-ray for earlier drafts, because I can talk more frankly about them). This is the culprit of my 1am writing adventures!!😫❤ My schedule became too packed, then NaNo came round and I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to honor how AoS began, because it was last year’s NaNo, aaand I’m happy to say I won NaNo, somehow, with 56k down before I died. At that time, I only had one section left to write (from both books), otherwise, hahahaha, yeah, it wouldn’t have flown. Still, most of draft 2 I’d written in September-October, with my fairy lights, late nights, and cups of hot cocoa, exactly like how life should be<3

Alright. We’re going through them chapter-by-chapter again, exactly because I love seeing the titles so much:

ACT 1

Cracked Visor, Scorpion Grass

I did it! I did! Twas another shower thought I managed to get down in time. Bare broken sentences, but they did the impossible, and arranged this chapter into a structure I adore to bits and won't ever change. (And 'quiv's naughty voice left me alone for once and I could write it properly!) While I don't think I'll ever be happy with a first chapter (not as a concept, but the writing — part of me will always wish that the reader just had all the information already lol), this one is in the right place.

It pays its respects to the story of the broken helmet at the foot of a spaceship, and how it reconnects Madigan with all the people who'd suffered from being tethered to the planets when they yearned to fly, but the Beast punished them cruelly for it. It makes him feel phantoms of their efforts. The tone is exactly what I needed this story to start from: melancholy and numbly hopeless, against the backdrop of the Beasts's echoed cries.

Rain Through the Universe

Unlike 'quiv, because RoaN and AoS are way more plot-heavy, it's not as easy to change things willy-nilly (whereas 'quiv was all about character bonds and dynamics). As such, it's very similar to draft 1. Because of that, I'll frankendraft next (select and combine drafts 1 and 2, rewrite to connect them) and afterwards I'll try something I've always wanted to. (Scrivener keeps hinting at it!) I'm gonna split the chapters into scenes, and focus on those individually and how I can just rewrite them and set their purpose in stone<3 I'm excited!

As for the chapter itself, gods, I love the atmosphere. Just the wreckage of a sundered ship, and Madigan’s sudden madman appearance making a lasting impression on Spica, because how could it not. They no longer answer distress calls in that age, it just means more dead bodies. In fact, they're forbidden to. Madigan instead brings him what he himself lacks: hope. And a lot of crawling around while dreading the Beast's lambent eye opening, and oh my, the moments are really flying by😈👏 extreme fun for me as the writer.

Aberration of Light

If you remember, the books follow two timelines, which will connect at some point. The first and main one is Madigan and Spica’s story. The other is Holloway’s, in the distant past of that universe, and who’s been dubbed the most selfish man in existence. That’s important, because of how the Beast came to be. But that becomes important later. For now, a weird-ass new recruit has joined the ship, and the witchy crew will very soon start making bets if she’s the Beast in human flesh, which really wouldn’t bode well for their future.

Night Falls On Their Reflection

Draft 2 became Spica’s draft. It was high time. He didn't exist in the original idea beyond chapter 2, but he refused to die with his story untold. And now he's one of the most independent thinkers I've ever written. Now he's Madigan's son (yes, even at 25), best friend, back-to-back partner all in one, and I could watch the trust and mutual respect between these two forever. To be sure: Madigan comes up with the dumbass plans, and Spica's only too happy to follow him through everything (it is good fun.)

He's repaying the incredible kindness Madigan's shown him when answering his distress call, after all.

But it goes a bit further than that, doesn't it? Madigan is used to watching over myriad people. He's the Superintendent of his planet, and while he genuinely loves people, kindness is his default. It doesn't go further than that for him. He doesn't necessarily think people need, much less desire his presence there beyond Madigan extending help, and most of the time, he's content with that. Kindness does make him happy. And it should be the same with Spica now, shouldn't it? He's kind, but he's not Spica's family, nor ever will be. Yet he immediately feels a connection with the boy, that has nothing to do with bonding over escaping-a-cosmic-disaster. And so does Spica.

This is the moment when Madigan starts feeling guilty, for stepping where he should not. But here's the beauty of Spica's character: he's nothing if not dead sure of his own feelings, and what he sees with his eyes. It's okay if Madigan keeps unexpectedly taking steps back. For very long, there'd been nobody to support Spica's beliefs. So he does the same, as when he followed his heart to go into dead space: he believes in himself and Madigan, and that their paths aren't meant to diverge. They mean too much to each other for that to ever happen.

(In short, and legend says you can still hear me screeching about these two ten thousand years later, I love these two so much, and especially the parallels between Spica going alone into outer space and loving Madigan.)

(And, okay, obviously all these developments don't happen in a single chapter, but I couldn't stop gushing🤭🥰.)

Who Puts These Tombs in Ice

Overall, I think draft 2’s Luitgart performed worse than draft 1. Mainly it's the setting I want to revert (still an icy, sempiternally dark hell, but with different ice constructions) because some of the beats are a huge improvement, and again, I gotta combine the two. Otherwise, I’m still as obsessed about the Luitgart arc as I’ve ever been, and huge thanks to it for being so strong it could function as an ending of its own, allowing me to split the book.

Gettin’ into spoilery territory, but I have to un-kill Madigan so many times it leaves me in hysterics. That was what I was supposed to fix this draft. It got worse. Considerably.

(One constant: the chapter being a love letter to Madigan, and how his first answer will always be to help the other, no matter if they deserve it or not<3 and finally, finally, he gets acknowledged for it, and the favor returned.)

ACT 2

Lemon-Dotted Days + Remnant

Two Holloway chapters! I’m actually massively pleased with how they’ve turned out. Last year, I said the main issue was that I had an outline, and that never works for me. So I did what I do best and rewrote everything from scratch, and the result is both uncanny and… unexpected.

Unexpected, because I never in my life thought Holloway’s voice would make me laugh so much. He’s supposed to be unsympathetic, but then you get his interactions with Saintlark (the new crewmate, possibly Beast) where they’re contemplating the harvest of a nebula, and he’s harshly critical of it, which gives Saintlark hope… only to go deadpan One Moment Later: if they’d used the nebula to prolong their lives instead of bolstering the war, they wouldn’t have died like clown idiots. 

And, they could’ve maybe stolen immortality from the nebula. They would've had to share it with him, of course. Or he would've murdered them to get it.

That, my guys, is his personality in a nutshell.

I have a lot of feelings on Holloway now, and most involve me huffing and slapping my forehead while groaning, but oh my gods. Was it ever so fun. And wait, wait, wait. Since I'm talking of humor (apparently a lot of comedy fit into this horror lmfao) I have to show you guys the following section🤣🤣👏:

Corpse Snow

The drifters are set howling on the ice. They share glances, five separate vehicles nodding at each other. Madigan revs up the engine, splitting the air with a jet of steam and vibration.

The last of the marines are climbing into the box. A figure flashes past Madigan’s drifter — and he leans over, teeth grinding because of his ribs, and he does his very best to grab someone by the back of their suit and pull. Workout days were never his strength, though. He only succeeds in stopping them in the frost smoke.

It’s Spica dangling from his hand, expressionless.

Lieutenant Hahn instantly seizes on the situation. He throws Madigan a long, withering look. “Whatcha doing, Boss?” he asks softly, about to unhinge his jaw again.

Madigan nudges Spica into the drifter. “Picking up your boy.”

Spica gets the hint and deposits himself into the front seat, glancing from his father to his Superintendent. He seems to give up on whatever’s going on, and makes himself cozy in the frosty spot. And Madigan, of course, pretends not to notice Hahn’s drifter sliding closer.

“And you didn’t consider I might want to have my son with me?”

Madigan looks up and sighs. “Lieutenant, dear Lieutenant,” he starts pleadingly. “Why won’t you show some leniency to a poor, wounded man?”

Hahn’s drifter stops, summoning a breeze across the icy floor that gently rocks the other vehicle. His breathing distorts the comms with static. “And what exactly is my son right now?”

“My trusty navigator,” Madigan answers easily.

“Sir’s emotional walking stick?” Spica pipes in at the same time.

They both look over. Spica’s quietly turned to the navigation, as serene as daylight, seemingly oblivious to how Madigan's expression changes, lightning-fast. He quickly hides it under the guise of a polite mask, as the marines stir and turn their attention on them. They’re snickering.

Lieutenant Hahn throws up his hands, giving up on everything.

This is also the first 30k chapter I’ve ever written. It's everything I've ever wanted to do with ice.

Heart of the Void

The end of the book. Originally, it was the ending section to Corpse Snow, but since it already got so ungodly long, I chipped off that bit and I have to say I’m very happy with how it works as an epilogue! So it ends the frosty, weary journey, and I can’t see the two books as separate yet, but here we bid goodbye to the first.

Aberration of Sunlight♧♧♧

I did the unthinkable and created a fifth arc. This might not seem like much to you, but I was screaming bloody murder you guys😭😭😭. Sigh. It’s so sigh. For so long, AoS consisted of four clear-cut acts, but it was necessary. With the introduction of Sycamine, and making it two books, it was just needed. It’s still one of the worst things I’ve ever done because I was used to four😃💔

(The chapters continue from where RoaN left off – from chapter 10, to 21.)

ACT 3

Retro Spectrum

Sycamine, oh Sycamine. Definitely the break I needed before Days in Darkness. It made for a really neat beginning. It’s calmer, focusing on the knowledge they have on the Beast. It’s also a reflection on Procyon (their main star) and the story of the two straggler dog constellations, and what they'd been running away from. I liked the direction it took. It veered away from the Beast for a bit, so the tension kept expanding in the background. And when it returns, well... maybe they shouldn't have been so eager to see it again🤭.

It suffers from the same syndrome as draft 1’s first chapter… it’s there in the vicinity of the idea, but too much to the left. Not bad for a first attempt. The setting annoys me – I really don't enjoy writing cities, and AoS didn't change that. So, for our next try, I was thinking... maybe we don't need to be on the planet, but up close and veeery personal with it. It's a secret❤.

And, oh gods. I put a moustache-twirling villain in this. And then I couldn’t stop myself from naming some sucker Sweetman Calories. I don’t know what happened to me during those days, but I’m crying🤣🤣🤣.

Toast to the Light

Holloway and Saintlark’s story is slowly coming to an end. Unexpectedly bleaker than draft 1, yet it feels much more sincere. Holloway has a way of saying everything Saintlark needs to hear. No surprise. They did that to themselves.

Dissonant Recognition

Ahhhh, the Madigan-is-slowly-losing-his-grip-on-reality chapter, or maybe he should really stop staring into the suns. One of my favorites<3 Also because it features Moren (!!!) who has a blast staying in the grey morality area, because she doesn’t know if her actions could ever matter, or if she could change anything. Does she just exist? Is she a player or just pawn? Who knows. Besides that, she gets along great with Spica. They form such a teasing duo, the level of mutual respect they felt for each other on sight was a delight to write. My favorite ally of theirs, even if her destiny lies elsewhere.

Night Beneath the Elevator

Best title hands down, dethroning Solgesis. I’m going batshit crazy about the visuals, it's exactly my thing. This half-light slanted over an elevator waiting in a rundown basement to be boarded. And there's something underneath it, and always has been. Something insidiously creeping up and waving its tendril fingers at you as you're just waiting for the fucking thing to ascend. Immaculate, guys, I'm telling you, and I'm cursing my hands because I can't make a wallpaper of this. I want to eat that atmosphere.

Time-sensitive missions, y'all.

And why the heck did nobody inform me I was going to add Command as an actual character and have them talk with Madigan?! That entire convo, made up entirely on the spot but somehow with a direction, made me realize what an idiot I’d been for not doing it sooner. They mean so much to Madigan, after all.

(And Mariya. So much Mariya in these chapters.)

ACT 4

Loop System

Like Who Puts These Tombs in Ice, draft 1 might’ve done it better. Not Spica and Madigan, though, because of the sheer development Spica’s been through and the dynamic he’s managed to form with the crew. It's different from Madigan’s, but similar enough that it’s got Hahn commenting lightly: [Spica’s] picked up quite a few habits from Madigan, hasn’t he? Almost as if they’ve gotten very very close, huh? How about Madigan tell him more?

(I adore writing Hahn.)

Outreach

Another Holloway chapter. Doesn’t have the punch of the kids subplot from draft 1, but this just makes it worse for Saintlark personally, because, this time, the consequences are on her.

Days in Darkness

I knew the moment I first got the idea this would be my favorite chapter. Well, it finally happened in draft 2: when the entire crew is here, this time, and ready for the final countdown, to relive the experience of being trapped in a ship that's disintegrating. No more heroes left behind. I'd been so tired writing this chapter in draft 1, but this time around it was incredible. Everything went up sharply from here, both in terms of events and how on fire I was.

(Maybe less than the gorgon, but I was.)

ACT 5

Echo Terminal

The first of the two log chapters.

I've never written smoother, more visual chapters than in this period. Days in Darkness changed me so much, I was writing day and night by this point and couldn't get enough. Well, I hit my limit in the second half of the very last chapter, but I am beyond satisfied. Even the Beast's metamorphosis took me by storm, because I'd been wondering what the final verbs, the final images, the final design for it was going to be. I didn't expect it to come to me this early, and with such thrill. Those were my very best days of the year, and I toast to them.

(And I knew it was going to be fantastic when Halo's Warthog Run OST started blaring in my head, with as much adrenaline.)

Where, Now? + Solgesis

My beloved. The second and last of the two log chapters, but it’s Noelle Saintlark’s log.

Holloway’s timeline ends here. Or maybe it just gets carried into the future. I thought I’d want to rewrite his parts again, make the plot just a tiny bit more psychedelic and nonsensical because it’s so close to the Beast… but Solgesis put all my fears to rest. Even the formatting and layout is a bit of that special thing I’ve always wanted to try, and it really changes the perspective of the previous chapters. There's a new confession that stands at the heart of Holloway's stories.

Honestly, the only thing that needs urgent working on is the anger at the end of the chapter.

Anger is so hard for me to write sometimes. Not because I don’t connect with it, but because I feel self-conscious writing it. The wildest I felt it was when I tackled 'quiv's chapter 3 and Imera's Turning speech, both in quick succession (before I'd even written draft 1. I'd been taking notes.) Since then... I just thing back to how keenly I'd felt that anger, and I kind of intimidate myself out of it. Kind of like a natural resistence, I quench it from myself. Which is actually hilarious when you think about it. It’s like I’m going I BANISH THEE FROM MY BRAIN because generally, as a person, I dislike feeling and operating on anger. But no worries. I’m going to find a way around it.

Watch me😎.

What Goes Around…

(Now it’s the time for me to start crying some rivers, and, alright, it won’t be visible so I’ll say it: the chapter titles are holding a conversation, guys. They speak to each other. And sometimes it’s both sides of the same coin, like how What Goes Around (comes around) hints here. If you take two chapters, one from the beginning and one from the end (for example 1 and 21) it'll tell you a little secret. Okay, What Goes Around and Rain Through the Universe communicate through their plot, which I can’t spoil but of course it has to do with Madigan and Spica and how they first meet… but there is one title pair that does it best visibly. 

Lemon-Dotted Days and Days in Darkness.

And I hadn’t even planned this. All the parallels I wanted to draw… I feel like they built themselves, guys. They really did, and it makes me so wildly happy I don’t even know how to stop my hands from flailing.

And, with them being 21 chapters, they meet in the middle, on the one unpaired chapter.

Called Toast to the Light.

I friggin’ love everything.

New Sunrise, Forget-Me-Right

Of course, Forget-Me-Right is a play on Scorpion Grass. But it’s also such a gentle name for the chapter, because everything ends here. Lying on their backs, staring out into the universe, and it really, really is over. Just a dark horizon on which stars flare and bloom. And suddenly, that maddened rush to make every sacrifice count, to remember every soul they’ve encountered because the legend says the Beast absorbs you when it kills you – all that suffocating pressure dissipates. Lightness remains. Because they’ve protected each other.

For the first time in my writing journey, blood rushed to my head with such emotion I had to stop writing, which never happens. I had to look up and exclaim, holy fuck. But how could I not, considering how the story ends for the Beast? I am speechless. A lot of gorgeous surprises this draft.

Conclusion□●□

Whew, what a year it's been! As for how 2024 will probably look like, though I don't like making plans: finishing the beta stage for 'quiv, and tackling RoaN and AoS's draft 3. Thaaaat one I'm actually starting on Christmas, when I can (finally!!) reread draft 2 with my mug of hot cocoa (or maybe mulled wine for a change) and, no surprises here, I'm hyper stoked for that<3 <3 <3 I legit can't wait to see where the new draft brings them. I might not have set any expectations for them, but they're vying to keep up with 'quiv and I adore it🤭❤

As for my lovely friends... well, you know by how I spam your tags how much I adore you and wish you happiness forever🤩🥺🥳 I don't know what my activity will look like in the near future, so for now I won't be saying anything, and my semi-hiatus continues. Semi, because you're unforgettable and I crave to see what everyone's been up to and (!!!!) what you've written!

So let's meet in 2024 again, and all the best wishes to you, the reader🥰🥂❤.

[gojo-inabox]

screws loose (kishibe x gn!reader)

You’ve lasted 4 years in the Devil Hunting business, and that time was long enough for Kishibe and yourself to come to terms with your nonchalant feelings towards eachother.

Word Count: 3957

Warnings: Kishibe (lmfao 💀), smoking, alcohol, describing violence and fighting, slight gore (??), dead body, language slightly, kind of OOC but that’s also kind of the point idk man, kissing, weird but comfortable tension

Admittedly, you didn’t hate your job. You couldn’t.

For the most part, working as a Devil Hunter wasn’t terrible: Sure, yeah, the whole death at every corner thing was a major blow, but you didn’t mind the pay, or the people you met along the way. Sure they were short lived, but it was fine.

You could deal with it, if they died they died. If you died you died, at that point it didn't matter if you got paid - and hey, if you lived, a hefty penny was sent your way.

You could deal with the idea of death, with the idea of devils lurking every corner, your coworkers being so bittersweet and temporary.

Though, for some particular reason, for every person that died in your vicinity, it only solidified the one constant thing in your life: Kishibe, your partner.

Only Makima knows why you would get partnered with the grizzled alcoholic, but it didn't matter - he was solidified in your life the moment you were paired together at the beginning of your career as a devil hunter.

Kishibe was the one thing that never changed - alcoholic, unashamed, calm, and blunt. Even if every person around you dropped dead, even if you watched every rookie get brutally murdered by some low life devil, even if you yourself played your cards a little too wildly and didn't know if you'd come home that day - it seemed you'd always end the day parting ways with him.

The roughed up blonde wasn’t a bad person per say, he’s generally relaxed and polite, when speaking it’s obvious he has years of experience under his belt. His lack of emotion in his day to day work mildly pissed you off, but you two meant a lot to each other - you just didn’t know it.

Though most days you’d claim he went out of his way to piss you off, and that you swore you hated the man - you were mostly lying to yourself.

"This is a matter that needs to be resolved quite quickly, but also carefully. We cannot risk hitting heads with any private civilians at this time." Despite the pressure at hand, and the severity of the situation, Makimas voice was soft, and careful.

Her hands were clasped tightly on her desk, eyes barely blinked, scanning yourself for any signs of emotion. Even after working for Public Safety for 4 years now, Makima made you incredibly uneasy. The longer you found yourself alive and working here, the more often you'd be in Makimas office, you found yourself memorising her office - the lack of decorations and very subtle touches of herself.

Makima took your silence as understanding, and continued, "(Y/N), I hope you would know where your partner is? He was supposed to join us."

Of course she'd ask that. Technically - no, you didn't know where Kishibe was, but you'd take a guess. It was common for him to leave you to all the office and paperwork stuff, so he could fuck off somewhere with a bottle of booze in hand and show up later. He did it because he knew that you would handle yourself, and that he wouldn't really be reprimanded.

Simply nodding, you stood up and quickly fixed your blazer and wiped your wrinkled pants down, "I could probably guess. Don't worry about it, Makima, I can relay the information."

All she did was smile, nodding and following suit. Walking around her desk and at your side as you both walked towards the door. As she saw you out, she handed you the file, “I expect this to be taken care of before Friday, and next time, make sure Kishibe joins us.”

Nodding, you smiled and walked out, her office door closing behind you. The second you heard the click, your smile dropped, body moving down the hallway, and to the stairs. Slugging down the stairs, flipped through the file, internally cringing at the prospect of explaining the mission to Kishibe.

Once out of the building, you slouched against one of the concrete walls. The sun was almost completely gone, the night sky being illuminated by the light pollution from the city, you breathed in the crisp air. Even at night, the city was still so busy - cars driving by, people in and out of store fronts and restaurants, the noise of traffic filled the air.

It all seemed so simple, yet here you are.

The next day was rough. Getting up later than you would typically wish, it wasn’t really your style to be late, you had 20 minutes until Kishibe would pick you up so you two could deal with the problem Makima was up in arms over. Scrambling around your apartment, you tried your best to get ready in record time.

The front door knob jiggled and eventually opened, Kishibe just letting himself in - normally any other person doing this would warrant you probably killing them, and well this certainly added to the list of things Kishibe did that pissed you off, you let it be, walking right past him into your bedroom to grab your blazer.

“Ready yet?” Kishibe calmly asked, watching you scramble to slide the blazer on, all while scanning the living room for your watch.

“Yeah one sec.” Trailing off to find it, Kishibe shifted into your kitchen, rummaging through your liquor cabinet to fill up his flask . Again, another thing to add to the list, but you certainly couldn’t be bothered.

Finishing up, the pair of you headed out the door and down to his car. Kishibe had the grace to drive you basically everywhere, after 4 years it was basically his love language to say, ‘Hey I don’t hate you’, just as you let him raid your liquor cabinet as he pleases.

As both of you hopped into his car, he leaned over to pop open the glove box, pulling out two brand new cigarette boxes.

Handing you one, you smiled, “Thanks, you didn’t have to.” Kishibe didn’t say anything back. He didn’t mind. Though both of you knew you’d end up sharing a cigarette anyways.

The drive wasn’t too long; you gave Kishibe a brief overview of the situation, explaining the devil and the precautions you’d have to take to not interfere with the private sector's work.

Honestly you doubted he listened, but it was your job, so you explained anyway, “The devil has just recently appeared, he seems rather weak, it’s just he’s awfully clever. Private hunters attempted to kill it two days ago, and they’re going to try again tomorrow, so we better deal with it today.”

“Or else Makima gets pissed.” Kishibe scoffed, flicking his cigarette out of the window. The drive continued in silence.

The two of you stood on the sidewalk of a, almost, dead city street, everything was grey it seemed. Modern architecture sucked. Gazing up at the building the Public Safety Devil Hunters got a report about, it was an older office building.

The pair of you walked in, silence basking yourself and the lobby of the building. Nothing felt wrong - not yet at least - there was no signs of any disturbance in recent years. Dust was everywhere, on every surface and in the air. The wooden floors creaked with every step, you found yourself turning to the back of the receptionist desk, looking at the reminders of the past.

“When I was a kid, my dream job was actually being a receptionist.” You stated, smiling at the loose notepads and office supplies. Kishibe’s brows knitted together in confusion, you continued, “Sitting on your ass all day and writing paperwork for a decent paycheck? It sounded appealing. Then I did it while in college.”

“Didn’t work out?” Kishibe humoured you. He always did, he loved your rambling. Rounding back around the desk, the two of you turned the corner to wander down a main hallway.

The hallway was long, and dark, dust particles visible as they floated in the rays of sunlight peering through the few windows - most of which were boarded up. Despite the status as being abandoned, the halls were decently clean.

You scoffed, scanning the hallway and peering into each door you passed. “It was okay work. Money wasn't bad. I just didn’t find any thrill in doing paperwork.”

“From paperwork to devil hunting. Huh.” Kishibe chuckled, rolling your eyes as you shoved him a little.

Laughing, you continued, “You can’t act like my job now isn’t still 75% paperwork, because someone doesn’t wanna do their job.”

Kishibe let a smirk pull through, he couldn’t help that your laugh was rather contagious. It was a rather mundane and meaningless conversation, but he didn’t mind. It wasn’t often devil hunters got to have a normal conversation.

As Kishibe pondered his comeback to your comment, you both stopped dead in your tracks, feeling a presence weight on both of you. Your hand met your waist, grabbing at your weapon and holding it firmly, Kishibe doing the same.

Peering into the room you had stopped in front of, you were quick to spot a body laying in the centre of the room. It was a woman, from what you knew most likely a private devil hunter, though she was dressed in the same attire as both yourself and Kishibe.

Looking around the room for an enemy, you stepped closer to the woman. Her body was almost completely devoid of all moisture; face was ashy, lips chapped and cracking painfully, eyeballs shrivelled and almost nonexistent. Her hair was crisp, thin, and looked like it was missing in chunks.

Littered with bruises, cuts and scratches, she didn’t go down without a fight. Furrowing your brows in confusion, ‘Where is the devil, then?’ Kishibe shared your mental sentiment with his body language, staying almost completely still whilst peering around the room.

After a few moments, you felt that feeling go away. This was definitely the work of a devil, but it seemed unlikely that the devil was still here with you right now. A hand placed itself upon your shoulder, you sighed, turning to face Kishibe and hopelessly continue the survey of the building.

That wasn’t Kishibe.

Almost immediately upon turning around and coming face-to-face with some grotesque devil, you were slammed across the room, back hitting hard against the wall. The devil let out a rather annoyed giggle, trying it’s best to contain its laughter.

That shit hurt, you probably knocked through at least 5 desks, and you scrambled up out of the dent that your body had made into the wall. Kishibe hadn’t even attempted to check on you, immediately making work of fighting the devil - he knew you were fine.

It wasn’t hard for Kishibe and yourself to get into a flow while in battle, once you picked yourself up, you joined in. Kishibe and yourself taking turns at attacking the enemy, confusing it, as it didn’t know who to hit at. You both dodged its attacks, as they were rather repetitive.

You took your own turns at chopping some of the limbs of the devil off. The devil shrieked, frustrated that it was loosing this battle so quickly. It hastily picked up office furniture and flung it around, hoping it hit one of you.

Before you knew it, Kishibe grunted rather loudly, snapping your head you watch him fall down.

Shit. He got hit.

Kishibe dragged himself backwards, trying to get out of line of the devil momentarily. Panicking, you grabbed ahold of the devil and flung yourself on top of it, the devil twisted and turned, trying to throw you off as it’s now stubby limbs attempted to regenerate.

Kishibe grunted out your name, probably trying to get you to get off of the thing, but you didn’t listen, shamelessly taking hits and hitting the devil back. The devil shrieked again, very loudly, as you stabbed it in the eye with a piece of metal.

It fell to the ground as you pierced it, pushing and digging the piece deeper and deeper into the devil. It went limp, and you tumbled off of it. It was dead.

Scrambling to get up, you slugged your body towards Kishibe. He was fine, a deep cut on his arm was the worst of his injuries, the rest were a few cuts, though he would definitely be waking up with a hefty bruise on his back tomorrow, as would you.

“That was stupid of you.” He commented, accepting your hand as you pulled him off the floor. Shrugging, you lead him out of the now destroyed room. A comfortable silence is present among you two as you make your way backwards, back down the hall and eventually out of the building.

God, even after you basically saved his ass, he still irritates you sometimes.

Though sure, Kishibe never failed to piss you off with his attitude and lack of communication, in all honesty, you didn’t hate him. A rather low bar certainly, but it was remarkable. Even after 4 years, and him getting on your nerves like no one before, you didn’t mind his presence. Not just as a partner, but as a person.

Maybe it was you being content with your situation, you found yourself not minding his company. Sure he did a lot that made your head spin, but you thrived off of the little things; When you two would finish a job and get dinner after, or when you’d take turns taking swigs from his flask after a particularly irritating meeting with Makima, or when he’d listen to your ramblings about something that pissed you off at work giving rather blunt comments, taking drags from a cigarette you shared.

The past 4 years together, it wasn’t bad, honestly.

Maybe you could admit you liked Kishibe as a person. For one thing, he was definitely attractive; an older, grizzled man who had some years under his belt. And for another, his personality, albeit somewhat difficult, was rather endearing, especially when you stayed around longer than he expected, and especially when he realised you weren’t going anywhere.

Kishibe liked you too, in his own ass-backwards way - well you assumed.

"Don't make me think I wasted my time training you." The grizzled man said, taking a chug of his silver flask.

The sky was dim, oranges and pinks painting the west sky, a cascading light shifted the darkness and shadows of the buildings and street lights - the sun was setting.

The two of you had made your way to Kishibes car, calling Makima and alerting her to the elimination of the devil. Rummaging through his glove box, you pulled out a bandage to apply to Kishibes mild wound. It would do for now, you knew he wouldn’t go to the doctor until tomorrow morning.

You shrugged, rolling up his sleeve, beginning to wrap his wound, "I think at this point l've proved myself. If anything I’m starting to wonder if whoever trained you failed.”

The blonde chuckled, letting you finish the quick dressing of the cut, pulling away as you finished, screwing the lid of his flask shut tight, shoving it in his coat pocket, “How so?”

“Maybe how you never showed up to our summons to Makima? You didn’t even know why we came here.” You argued, pulling out a cigarette from your coat pocket and lighting it. Kishibe smirked slightly - he was the one who got you to start smoking, you even smoked the same brand as him.

Kishibe sighed, looking around carelessly, he honestly was surprised that you were still so serious about the job. Maybe he had worked here too long, “No, but you did, I can always count on you.”

For a split moment, you caught each other's eyes, you’d maybe even be tricked into believing he meant that. Breaking the contact, you scoffed, wiping blood off of your weapon. Kishibe leaned against his car, plucking the cigarette from your mouth and into his, taking a long drag.

You could feel him staring, wondering what could be going on in that head of his. The cigarette met your mouth again, looking up, the man was merely inches from your face, intently staring at you. “I figured it out.”

Scrunching your face and furrowing your brows, you scoffed again at the blonde, “Oh? Another drunk prophecy?”

Kishibe sighed, pulling back away from you and assuming his position leaning against his car, his eyes stared up at the sky, “You didn’t have any screws loose when I met you. I thought you’d make it a few months tops.”

“That’s awful. Thank you, I guess.” Kishibe chuckled at your response. Shuffling over to him, you assumed a position leaning against the car next to him, your bodies touched as you both stared off into the sky. His warmth was comforting, you didn’t get a lot of that in this business.

“Yeah. But you’ve stuck around. It’s been 4 years and 5 months.” Kishibe kept count, in fact, to the month. You didn’t take him too much as the sentimental type, you figured he was rather nonchalant about whether or not you stayed around - at least that’s how he typically acted. Sure he had his moments of kindness, they weren’t stereotypical, but you figured it just meant he was being civil as a co-worker.

Your silence enabled him to continue, “The devil hunters with a few screws loose stick around the longest, because devils are scared of them. But you? I didn’t really get it, to be honest.”

The sun was completely gone now, pinks and oranges had faded into the night sky. Though for the night sky, it wasn’t very dark, and you couldn’t see many stars - despite it being clear. That was the downside of being in Tokyo.

The air was crisp, and cold, you almost wanted Kishibe to take you in his arms, his warmth was tempting. The temperature always dropped this time of year, you hated it.

Kishibes point still wasn’t being made, it’s not like he had a near death experience, so you were perplexed by the sudden admission of empathy he was expressing. Maybe he just finally let the bowl overfill.

“I’m not crazy enough for you?” His eyes rolled at your comment, but he stayed silent for a moment. The air between the two of you was slightly thick, his every word was out of character and unpredictable.

Kishibe turned to you, grabbed the cigarette from your lips once again, putting them to his and taking a drag, the smoke flowing from his nostrils. “I figured it out though. You have a screw loose.”

Again, he was right up at your face, inches away. His every feature on display for you to see, his eyes were blank despite his words, the scent of alcohol filled your nose.

“Yeah? What is it?” Shakily you breathed out, heart racing at the sudden lack of space between you two. He could see it written on your face, how much this made you nervous, how you wanted this to last - you basked in the feeling and in the moment.

Flicking the cigarette aside, he continued to look down at you - it seemed he was doing the same, taking in your features. “You like me.”

It wouldn’t be far off to say your heart made a terrible halt, you honestly probably had a slight heart attack. “I mean you’re my co-worker, I kind of have to-“

“No. You like me. You find me endearing, like being around me. That’s your screw that’s loose.” Kishibe stated rather bored, his eyes scanning your face for any sign of a reaction, your silence bothered him, “Am I wrong?”

“No.”

Within a moment of uttering that, he leaned in, grabbing your jaw and pulling you further into him, finding warmth as your lips touched. Your soft lips moved effortlessly against his rather rough ones, his hand wandered from your jaw to the back of your head, the other hand at your waist, pulling your body as close to his as he could.

The warmth of your bodies combined, his rough, large hands kneaded at your waist. Soft moans were pulled from your throat as he pushed into you, your back was harshly pushed against the cold metal of his car.

The kiss was rough, it was hasty, it was sloppy. Despite this, you enjoyed every second of it. It was like you both waited your entire lives for this moment, but now that you had it, you were both utterly unsure if you’d ever have the chance again.

Placing your hands on either wait of his face, you pulled away, gasping slightly for air. His hands are still positioned at your side and the nape of your neck, caging you against the car. Once again, you two found yourselves taking in each other's features.

A part of you was still shaken from the sudden admission from Kishibe, while he didn’t admit he also felt the same, his actions spoke volumes - the other part of you was heavy, you wondered if he did this just cause he’s drunk or still riding off the adrenaline of the fight.

Kishibe could see the look in your eyes, he could practically read your mind. His grip on you loosened slightly as he sighed, nodding to himself. Letting go, he rounded to the driver's side of the car and opened the door, “Let’s get you home.”

You sighed at his statement. Nodding and rounding around to the passengers side, slipping into the seat and shutting the door. The ride was silent, there wasn’t really much tension, the both of you just seemed to be in thought.

Kishibe kissed you. And yes, you kissed him back.

Over 4 years ago you were paired with the veteran devil hunter by seemingly luck. Makima claimed she believed you two would benefit from being around each other. Whatever that meant to her, it was true.

The first year or two was tough. Kishibe was thoroughly under the impression that you would kick rocks eventually, whether you’d quit or die a meaningless death. Too stuck up, too complacent with the rules, he believed your lack of purpose and drive would surely lead you to your death.

For a while, maybe he was right.

But four years later, he stood corrected. Recently, you had reflected a lot on the past four years; You remembered the first time he realised you were sticking around, the first time you made him laugh, your first cigarette, the first time you and him got drunk, you remembered it all.

Fuck. You really did like the guy.

Pulling into the parking lot of your apartment complex, Kishibe didn’t say a word. Honestly, you didn’t know what could be going on in that head of his, maybe he regretted kissing you entirely.

But fuck, you didn’t regret kissing him back.

As a devil hunter, any day could be your last. It was one of the many cons of the job. Sometimes you ended a day surprised you even were able to make it back to your bed. So fuck it, “Hey it’s not too late, so you wanna get dinner?”

Kishibe looked at you with a rather unreadable expression, his hands still gripping the steering wheel, “You sure?”

Asking him to continue the night, it meant you were okay with what happened. You could just go inside now and forget today even happened, only speaking of today when telling Makima that the mission went successfully. The two of you would see each other tomorrow and nonchalantly discuss meaningless work things throughout the day - acting, pretending like something didn’t happen between you two.

That sounded miserable.

“Yeah,” You said, smiling at Kishibe, “Maybe you can pull another screw loose for me.”

[kittyt-hexxed]

Hiiii! I’ve been hesitant to ask because I’m not sure if you’re in this fandom, but could you do a fic for Suki from ATLA? Definitely older cause she’s like sixteen in the series, but one where Reader is Katara/Sokka’s older sister and she instantly falls for Suki. (Reader has a thing for women who can knock her out) Have her be a secret water bender (ya know, cause Katara) and like Suki catches her bending. Reader begs her not to tell and Suki is like “only if you let me train you.”

Maybe a smut scene after practice, it’s totally up to you! But I would love it if you wrote this, I love your Arcane work! Oh! And Reader has loooong curly hair like past her butt! Thank you!

Can You Keep a Secret?

Suki x Fem!POC!Reader

Author Note: You don’t understand the excitement I felt seeing an ATLA request! Writing this helped my writer’s block, too, so thank you for that! I am in both fandoms ATLA and TLOK! I have also read the Kyoshi novels for future reference ;)

Warnings: ATLA Spoilers (Season 1, Episode 4), Young & Dumb Sokka, Older Suki, Waterbender!Reader, Accidental flashing, Cute Flirting, Teasing, Playful Training, Suki kicks your ass and you’re into it, First Time, Hickeys, Fingering, Praise/Compliments

Summary: You tried your best to hide your bending, but Suki managed to find out within a few hours. You beg her to keep the secret and she agrees… only if you let her train you.

Your head was spinning from the events that happened within the last few days. Not only did your little sister find the Avatar, but you nearly got a face full of fire! It didn’t help that you were hiding your bending ability. You wanted to drown that stupid kid for attacking your family. He was lucky that Aang came in when he did, or you would have sunk him under the ice. Then there was the heartbreaking revelation at the Air Temple… so, it’s actually relieving to you that Aang wanted to go on a little break. You were also really enjoying traveling by Bison. You really enjoyed feeling the wind in your hair. It also helped that if you found the right spot, you couldn’t hear them talking over the loudness of the wind. It was your favorite place to take a nap until you shifted over.

“Stop bugging her, airhead.” This is the first thing you hear as you tune back into the conversation, causing you to open your eyes, “You need to give girls space when they’re doing their sewing.” You raise an eyebrow at that. ‘Where did he get that from?’

“What does me being a girl have to do with sewing?” Katara asks.

“Yeah, little bro.” Sokka jolts as he realizes you’re awake and listening, “What does being a girl have to do with that?” He’s silent for a moment as he tries to figure out the words to say.

“Simple. Girls are better at fixing pants than guys, and guys are better at hunting and fighting and stuff like that.” He shrugs, “It’s just the natural order of things.” Your eyes feel like they’re going to pop out of their head as you look at your brother in disbelief.

“Really?” You say coldly, “I guess I should stop hunting then since I’m so horrible at it.”

“I’m all done with your pants and look what a great job I did!” Katara says too sweetly, tossing his pants at him. They hit him in the face and he panics, realizing that there’s still a hole in them. He looks to you for help, but you close your eyes and pretend to go back to sleep. What he said concerned you. Where did he get those ideas from when you were the main caretaker of the family? You hunted, gathered firewood, and took care of everyone. That’s why you were so reluctant to leave in the first place. Your people needed you, but Gran Gran was persuasive.

By the time you landed, you wanted nothing to do with the group. Sokka and Katara had been bickering nearly the whole time while Aang kept trying to get your sister’s attention. You found it funny at first, watching this kid try to impress your sister while not knowing how to interact with her. You were silently cheering him on but it was painful.

“I’m going to go over there. Spirits know I need a moment to myself.” You point off to the side where there is a bit more of a private area, “Don’t do anything stupid.” You pointedly look at Sokka.

“Why are you looking at me?!” Sokka protests, “You should be saying that to Katara! She’s already done stupid things!”

“Oh, really?” Katara scoffs, “Like what?” You watch them bicker for a moment before shaking your head. ‘They wonder why I’m always hunting.’

“Don’t you want to see the Elephant Koi?” Aang asks you.

“No, I’m good. I’ll check them out later since we’re camping here.” You give him a reassuring smile. You glance at the two behind him who are still arguing and roll your eyes. There wasn’t a moment where your siblings weren’t at each other’s throats. It got tiring trying to be the mediator so you stopped. You just let them hash it out. You walk away from the group, looking forward to getting a little bit of alone time.

Now in a private place, you pull off your coat and strip down to your undergarments. You would have invited Katara along but between Aang wanting to impress her and your social flame going low, you chose against it. ‘Some peace.’ You smile to yourself. You find a place to sit in the sand and get comfortable. The sand was warm, already heated up from the sun, and felt wonderful on your skin. You sigh in contentment, laying back to enjoy the area's warmth. If you were back home, you would’ve been bundled up to avoid the cold. It didn’t bother you much, but it got frustrating sometimes. Having a chance to show some skin and not have the possibility of freezing to death is wonderful. You were excited to travel the world, even if you’d miss Gran Gran back at home.

You were probably lying down for a total of five minutes before you heard screaming. Your eyes snap open and you jump up from the sand. You’re sprinting back to the group before your mind can even process it. You gasp in shock seeing a giant sea serpent chasing Aang across the water. Your fingers flex, itching to jump into the water and help him as you get to the bank with your siblings. It wasn’t necessary though as Aang comes flying out of the water and collides with Sokka. You flinch as they get thrown back into the trees.

“Sokka! Aang!” You shout, running to them with Katara. You give Sokka a concerned look seeing him slumped against a tree while Aang looked fine.

“What was that thing?” Katara questions.

“I don’t know.” Aang responds, putting his clothes on.

“It might have been a sea serpent of some kind.” You put a hand on your hip, “Dad used to warn me that some hung out in the water near the ice floes. That’s why we didn’t go there for my initiation.” They all look at you as if they just realized you were there before shouting and turning around. You blink in confusion.

“Y-Y-Y/N!” Katara shouts, her face an impressive shade of pink, “Where are your clothes?!”

“I heard screaming. There wasn’t time to put clothes on if something was wrong.” You deadpan, crossing your arms over your chest, “I’ll go get them now that I know you’re all okay.”

“Great! Then we can leave!” Sokka says, not turning back, “I am not sticking around to find out what that creature actually is.”

“Yeah, yeah.” You wave him off, turning around and heading back to where you left your clothes, “I’ll help you get ready to go once I’m dressed.” You leave them by the trees. ‘There is a lot Katara and Sokka haven’t been exposed to.’ You frown. ‘Our age differences have affected them a lot more than I would have liked. I was thirteen when we lost mom. I had more than enough time with her to learn about waterbending or go adventuring with Dad. They’ve been sheltered for far too long.’

You find the area where you left your clothes and pull your tights back on. You exhale, sad that your moment of peace has gone just as fast as it arrived. You bend down to put up your tunic, straightening up to dust the sand off and the next thing you know a figure drops down in front of you. Your feet are swept out from under you before you can react, and the person grabs you by your chest wrappings as you fall. You’re yanked forward by them, but you feel them come undone as they’re not as secure as they should have been. The gang's haste to get into the air the other day didn’t give you the time you needed to do a warrior wrap. The person in front of you gasps as the wraps fall away, suddenly spinning you around and blinding you. You let out a yelp as your chest is exposed to the air, but your tunic is on shortly after. Ropes are tied around your upper body, pinning your arms to your sides. They pick up your body, drape you over their shoulder, and start running. ‘That happened way too fast.’ You think, dazed. That couldn’t have been more than a minute. You don’t even have the words to say, honestly. You were surprised. Very surprised. Who could move like that?! The only time you moved that fast was while ice skating! Were there people who could move that fast normally? Aang didn’t count because he’s the Avatar. Who knows the extent of his abilities.

You weren’t sure how long it took, but your body was tied to something after a while. From the sounds of it, the others were right next to you so at least you don’t have to worry about that. You shift your body, trying to figure out how exactly you’re tied up. You practically jump out of your skin when you hear someone talking.

“You four have some explaining to do.” A man’s voice sounds.

“And if you don’t answer all of our questions, we’re throwing you back into the water with the Unagi.” A woman says after him.

“Show yourselves, cowards!” Comes from your idiot brother somewhere to your left.

“Oh sure, Sokka. Call the people who tied us up” the blindfold is removed from your eyes, “cowards.” You hiss, then go silent as you see a group of girls standing in front of you. The man you heard was with him, but he was the only one.

“Who are you? Where are the men who ambushed us?” Sokka demands.

“There were no men.” The woman in front scoffs, seemingly irritated by that question, “We ambushed you. Now tell us - who are you, and what are you doing here?”

“We-” You try to speak but Sokka speaks over you.

“Wait a second, there’s no way a bunch of girls took us down.” You can hear the amusement in his voice and it makes you want to smack him. How many times do you have to yell at him for him to understand that it’s not just the men in your tribe who do things? Besides, the woman was clearly agitated, and saying that would only make it worse.

“Sokka, you’ve got to be kidding me.” You sigh.

“Bunch of girls, huh?” The woman grabs Sokka by his coat and leans in threateningly, “The unagi is going to eat well tonight.”

“Please ignore my dumbass brother!” You shout, getting her attention, “He does NOT speak for the rest of us!” You glare at him.

“Then, I’m sure you can answer my questions. Since you seem to be the oldest here.” She stands in front of you and you meet her dark blue eyes, “Who are you? What are you doing here?” Her voice was lowered and it was spoken in more of a threatening manner than before.

“We’re from the Southern Water Tribe. We were just passing through and wanted to relax before continuing.” You swallow, feeling intimidated, “That’s all, I promise.”

“It’s my fault.” Aang speaks up, from somewhere past your brother, “I’m sorry we came here. I wanted to ride the Elephant Koi.”

“How do we know you’re not Fire Nation spies?” The man hisses accusingly, “Kiyoshi stayed out of the war so far and we intend to keep it that way.” That makes you scoff in anger. How dare he accuse you of being a spy for that wretched nation! As if you’d want anything to do with the people who destroyed your family!

“This island is named for Kiyoshi?” Aang sounds oddly happy about that, “I know Kiyoshi!”

“How could you possibly know her? Avatar Kiyoshi was born here four hundred years ago. She’s been dead for centuries!”

“I know her because I’m the Avatar.” Aang says making your jaw drop. ‘He did not just say that out loud! Why would he tell people that after I told him to keep it a secret?!’ You panic. ‘If these idiots would have let me handle this, I could have gotten us out by now! But, no, don’t let the adult handle this!’

“That’s impossible! The last Avatar was an airbender who disappeared one hundred years ago.” The woman shakes her head as you drop yours in exasperation.

“That’s me!” You can practically hear Aang’s grin. You were going to strangle this kid the moment your hands were free. Avatar or not!

“Throw the impostor to the unagi!” The man commands. ‘So, he’s likely the chief.’ The women snap out metal fans and move closer to surround your group. Your eyes widen and you internally curse that your hands are bound. There was nothing you could do to help your situation.

“Aang, if you’re going to claim that you’re the Avatar you need to prove it!” You tell him, not liking the sight of those fans, “Do some air bending!” There’s a gust of air and you hear the people gasping in awe. Whispers fill the air as Aang floats down and you feel relieved as you hear the Chief say that he believed him. They threw a feast in honor of Aang’s arrival and you were shocked to see so much food on the table. You were hesitant at first, but Aang insisted so you ate until you were satisfied. The Chief and the leader of the Kyoshi Warriors joined your group. Thankfully, Sokka was too engrossed in stuffing himself with food to notice the warrior sitting with you. If he had, you were sure dinner wouldn’t have been as pleasant as it was.

“Hello.” The woman greets you as she takes the seat to your left.

“Hello.” You greet her politely.

“I wanted to apologize and introduce myself to you.” She brushes her hair behind her ear, “I’m Suki, the leader of the Kyoshi Warriors. I’m sorry we ambushed you like that. While we live away from the mainlands, people have been begging us to join the war. It’s been going on since before I was a little girl. We’ve been very careful with newcomers.”

“That’s alright. I understand that. My village was raided by the Fire Nation when I was a teenager. After that, the men in the village refused to let anyone who wasn’t from the neighboring villages in.” You reassure her, “You were only protecting your home. I can’t blame you for that when I would do the same. It’s admirable.”

“That’s a relief. Thank you… but um… that’s not all I wanted to apologize for.” Suki rubs the back of her neck, lowering her voice, “I was the one who jumped you on the shoreline. You looked to be around my age, so I wasn’t sure what training you might have had.” Her words sink in and you begin to feel mortified.

“I saw your chest and I wanted to let you know that wasn’t my intention.” She whispers, and you think you see her face turning pink, “I’m very sorry for that.”

“I-It’s okay.” You frantically wave your hands, “I’m not upset about it at all. At least you had the decency to cover me.”

“O-Of course! I wouldn’t do that to another woman!” Now she’s waving her hands frantically, “Not unless they wanted me to, but that’s not- I’m going to stop talking now.” She facepalms, making you laugh at the absurdity of the conversation.

The mess that was your first conversation didn’t do anything to ruin the rest of them. You found yourself talking to Suki the most as you were sitting next to each other. She listened intently as you talked about your life at home and what you did for fun. Unfortunately, you had to leave out anything that involved waterbending. Katara was the one who talked to Suki about that one. But, you learned about Suki’s life on the island and how it was her dream to become a Kyoshi Warrior. You congratulated her on becoming the leader and she made a soft comment that had you raising an eyebrow, “It’s rewarding to train pretty women like you.”

You weren’t new to flirting. You were lucky enough to interact with people outside of your tribe before your dad left. It’s just been a while since you’ve had a chance. So, you fell into it. You flirted with her, and she seemed to be into it. You couldn’t believe your luck. You’ve been gone from home for such a short time and here was an attractive woman hitting on you! The end of dinner made you a little sad, but you had the itch for some more alone time, so you asked one of the islanders where you could find a quiet cove or something close to it. They directed you to one on the other side of the island that’s past the training building for the Kyoshi Warriors.

It was a good distance to walk, but that meant you wouldn’t be bothered by anyone either. With your siblings and Aang preoccupied, you took the chance to sneak away. It felt like the perfect opportunity to get some waterbending practice in. You let out a slow breath, moving through the meditative poses your mother taught you as a child. It helped not only to relax your body but your mind when it got too unfocused. And, it was definitely too unfocused. There was something about Suki that got into your brain. You couldn’t stop thinking about her. Knowing that she was the one who took you down earlier made you flustered. You’ve never come into contact with anyone who can do something like that.

So, once your body is focused, you let your awareness spread to the rolling waves in front of you. You smile to yourself as you lift the water and bring it towards you. It whirls around your body, the soft whooshing sound of the water bringing you peace of mind.

“Okay, mom.” You exhale, widening your stance slightly, “Guide me through the exercise.” You move through the waterbending techniques your mother taught you, steadily going faster and getting harsher with each re-run of the sequence. Your muscles are used to the movement, due to training over and over again. At some point, you’d have to break the news to Katara. She’d be pissed with you for keeping this a secret, but she wasn’t ready. You couldn’t teach her something that could kill someone if she couldn’t control her anger. You will never forget the day you nearly speared your father with an icicle during an argument.

“You didn’t tell me you were a bender.” A voice comes from behind you, making you shriek. You whirl around, the water following as you whip it at whoever snuck up on you.

“Ouch!” The person yelps, clutching their side and you realize that it’s Suki.

“Oh, Spirits! I’m so sorry!” You gasp as she looks at you with an impressed look, “Are you okay?!”

“It’s okay!” Suki giggles, rubbing her side as she moves closer to you, “I guess we’re even after what happened earlier today.”

“I guess we are.” You chuckle, “Are you sure you don’t want me to check?”

“Well… I’d have to remove everything so…”

“Oh.” You blink, “Then, I’ll take your word for it.”

“Anyway, that was some impressive bending. How come you didn’t bring it up when Katara was talking about it?”

“My brother and sister don’t know. Our mom trained me in secret in case my siblings couldn’t bend. I haven’t told Katara for various reasons.” You sigh, running a hand over your hair. It was the one conversation you were dreading.

“Hmm, is the reason because you’re so good at it?” She says flirtatiously, “If you had fought me with it this morning, I might have been the one retrained.”

“I doubt it.” You flirt back, “I could just freeze you in place.” You demonstrate by sneakily freezing her feet to the ground. She gasps, tugging on her ankles to try and get them unstuck.

“Then you wouldn’t have been able to go anywhere.” You giggle, giving her a playful shove. Suki laughs as she pinwheels, unable to fall.

“You’re interesting, you know that?” She grins, watching as you melt the ice and pull the water back to you.

“Says the woman who took me down in seconds.” You chuckle, “I have never been so confused in my life.” She could take you down that fast and had the strength to lift your body. You found that kind of attractive.

“Will you show me your bending?” Suki questions, leaning forward on her tiptoes, “I haven’t seen waterbending like yours up close before.”

“Only if you keep it a secret.” You get a raised eyebrow in return, “Please, Suki. I can’t have them finding out right now.” You give her a pleading look. She makes a face like she’s contemplating what you said. You bite your lip, wondering if she’d tell them about your secret. She didn’t seem like that kind of person, but you only just met her. She tied you up and planned on murdering you without a second thought, too. It was to protect her people but…

“I’ll keep it a secret.” Suki agrees, a teasing smile on her lips, “But, you have to let me train you. You’ll need to know how to protect yourself.”

“Deal!” You hurriedly agree. That earns you a big grin from Suki and you spend the last of your daylight waterbending for her. She seemed dazzled by what you were doing. She asked you questions and even attempted to do the moves with you. For the first time in forever, you didn’t feel alone while practicing. She made you laugh and even tried to surprise attack you! You managed to hit her away, but you suspected she made it easy for you.

Once the final dredges of sunlight were about to disappear, Suki took your hand and guided you through the woods. She said you could use the actual training building because you’d be the only ones there. With the arrival of Aang, she had given the others the evening off. But, it will be right back to work tomorrow morning.

“This is where you practice?” You gasp. The building was very simple on the inside with a large open space. There were some weapons hanging on the wall and two doors at the back of the building.

“Yup. From sunrise to sunset.” Suki turns to you, putting her hands on her hips, “Now you’ll get the chance to see how we train.”

“So, why did you want to train me?” You question, letting her pull your hair out of its ponytail. You shake it out and blush at the awed look Suki gives you. Your hair was very long. You took great care of it since there wasn’t much to do in your free time.

“If you’re going to keep pretending you’re not a waterbender, you still need to be able to protect yourself.” She retrieves a box and has you kneel before her, “So, I’m going to walk you through our traditions.”

Suki takes the time to get you dressed into the robes the Kiyoshi Warriors wear. You’re almost surprised at how heavy the robes are on your body. If they wore this and managed to move that quickly, they must be inhuman or something! It interested you, and you found the way Suki talked so proudly about it to be cute. You listened to her closely, letting her put the makeup on you as she explained the history behind it. Once that was done, it was time for practice.

“We’re going to move through some motions, so spread your feet apart like this and bring your elbows into your body.” Suki demonstrates. You mimic her and she stares at you intensely as you do. A few seconds pass before she walks over to you.

“You want to come down a bit farther.” She puts her hands on your hips and pulls your body down some more. You feel your breath catch in your throat as she manipulates your body. Although you had no skin exposed, you could feel her touch lingering on your skin. It felt like the air was heating up between you two. She watched your body movements, using her own hands to support you or correct your form. You stopped breathing when her hands moved up your body, feeling dizzy in a different way. Your gazes lingered, and you watched her lips move as she talked.

“You’re doing a great job!” Suki compliments you, “You’re a natural at this!”

“Thank you.” You feel fluttery hearing her say that, “It might just be because I have a great teacher.”

“A great teacher is only made by a great student.” She winks at you, making you giggle.

“Can you show me your moves in action?” You tilt your head, “Slowly, at least. I’d like to be able to see it this time.”

“Okay, get in position across from me.” Suki motions with her hand, and you do as she says. You lock eyes, getting lost in her gaze. A moment passes and then Suki becomes a blur. You gasp in alarm, feeling her grab your arm out of nowhere. You’re yanked forward and you feel your body flip through the air. You let out a grunt of pain as your back hits the floor and Suki pins you to the ground. Your jaw drops as she smirks down at you.

“Was that slow enough?” She asks teasingly.

“Yeah…” You breathe out, feeling an unknown emotion settle in your chest.

“That’s it for tonight, then.” The smirk doesn’t leave her face as she helps you up, “Let’s get you out of that. We’ll take the makeup off first.” You nod wordlessly, still in awe. The two of you head into the changing room where the shelves are filled with extra uniforms. There’s a basin of water there that’s used to remove the makeup, but you feel a little spontaneous.

“Let me remove the makeup for you.” You pull water from the basin and let it stick to your palms, “It’ll be faster this way.”

“Okay.” Suki smiles and sits down, patting the spot on the bench next to her. You get close to her, Suki’s hand on your thigh to steady herself as she lets you carefully run your hands over her face. Little by little, the makeup comes off to reveal her features and you’re taken by her beauty.

“You’re staring.” She whispers.

“Sorry.” You go to back away, but she grabs your wrist.

“I’m okay with staring… but I’d prefer to kiss you instead.” You make a noise in the back of your throat, surprised by her statement.

“If I read this whole evening wrong, you’re more than welcome to tell me no.” She continues, “But if I haven’t… I’d like to kiss you.”

“You haven’t.” You whisper, closing your eyes to remove the makeup from your face. Once you do, you send the water down the little drain next to the basin, “I’d like to kiss you, too.”

Suki didn’t waste a second. Her lips were on yours, soft and sweet from the berry juice in the lip paint. Your heartbeat picks up as she guides you onto her lap, and you rest your hands on her chest. She wasn’t your first kiss, but she’s the first kiss where it was good. Suki knew how to kiss and it showed. The way her tongue found its way into your mouth, not too much to send you running or she’d take a moment to suck on your bottom lip and make you impatient.

“Can I touch you?” Suki asks sweetly, “Have you been touched before?”

“Ah, no, I-I haven’t.” That question wasn’t one you were expecting at all. That made you a little nervous. You haven’t even touched yourself before. How would you know what to do or-

“Hey, don’t worry. We don’t have to do anything.” She brushes your hair behind your ear, “I was just asking.”

“I’d like to… I’ve just- I don’t-”

“You don’t need to do anything.” She giggles, “Let me do it for you.”

“Okay.” You agree.

“Let’s get you undressed then.” Suki waits for you to stand before instructing you to turn around. Piece by piece, she helped you out of the warrior’s uniform while leaving kisses on your neck. Your body felt warm, your heart was racing, and you were slowly getting excited for what was to come. When your robes were off, you helped Suki even though she didn’t need it. Taking your cues from her, you did the same thing and kissed her neck, giving in to the urge to leave little bites as well. You were doing something right by the way you’d hear soft gasps leave her lips. The moment the last piece of her robes were off, she backed you into the wall and hicked your leg up to her hip.

“Kiss me.” You demand, making her chuckle.

“Eager.” She grins before kissing you again. This time you were more intense with this kiss. You weren’t sure why but only that it felt right to be. You could feel her fingers playing at the edge of your underwear and it sends shivers up your spine. Her fingers move across and down, over your covered clit to press against that spot between your legs. You gasp against her lips, wrapping your arms around her to bring her closer to you. She rubs her fingers down there for a bit, continuing to kiss you as you struggle to hold in your moans. Your body is trembling at this point, eager for more stimulation from the gorgeous warrior pinning you to the wall.

“Do you still want me to put my fingers in?” Suki asks after backing from the kiss.

“Yes…” You breathe out. You hold each other’s gaze as you feel her move the cloth aside. Her eyes sparkle in the light, such a deep blue you could always get lost in them. You gasp as one of her fingers slips into you, whimpering as she touches you in a way no one has. It’s all you can focus on. The feel of her touching you so deeply in a place that sent your body tingling with pleasure.

“Suki.” You moan out her name, tilting your head back.

“You’re so beautiful, you know.” She kisses your exposed neck, “It’s a shame you’ve never felt pleasure like this before.”

“You’re the first.” You mutter, not able to speak any louder.

“I’m honored.” She hums, putting another finger in and stretching you out, “You have such a cute pussy. I’m enjoying letting you experience this.” You groan, the soft burning from the stretching not doing anything to distract you from the pleasure. Only a few hours ago, she had tied you up and now she was in an intimate position with you. Who would have thought leaving home would end up with you like this?

“Thank you…” You say breathily, “It feels nice. Really nice.”

“Don’t thank me yet, cutie.” Suki giggles, “I haven’t made you cum, yet.” You weren’t sure what she meant by that, but you couldn’t ask. She had moved her thumb to a bundle of nerves further up and you were too enthralled to talk. The trembling in your body only got worse, except now something was tightening in your abdomen. It kept getting tighter the more she touched you and you didn’t want to tell Suki to stop. You were more aware of her fingers than you were earlier and the pressure in your abdomen had reached its peak. A loud moan left your lips as you felt it snap, your fingers digging into her shoulders in the process.

“Spirits!” You hear Suki exclaim in surprise and then giggle as you feel a liquid run down your legs. She didn’t stop until you could feel your body relax, but your mind was definitely in a different state. You felt a little foggy.

“I didn’t think I’d make you cum that hard.” Suki chuckles, slowly sliding her fingers out, “Are you feeling okay?” She asks.

“Yeah.” You nod, trying to catch your breath, “I am. I just- I’m not quite sure what I’m feeling but it feels good.”

“Don’t worry, it’ll go away soon.” She kisses your cheek, “You did great, cutie.”

“Thank you.” You blush, thinking about kissing her again, “Can I…?”

“Can you kiss me again?” She smirks, making you giggle and nod your head.

“I don’t mind that.” Suki lifts your chin and kisses you.

[thelastarchangelaskblog]

Seventh Year: Reconciliations Bonus Scene 7

Oh, I finally did Gabriel's POV of the thing! The thing! That scene where the breakdown happened.

Love to hear your thoughts! :)

Bonus Scene 1

Bonus Scene 2

Bonus Scene 3

Bonus Scene 4

Bonus Scene 5

Bonus Scene 6

Bonus Scene 8

**

When Raphael returned sans Michael and in too little time for anything to have happened, Gabriel was simultaneously disappointed and also resigned. Of course.

“Well?” Draco demanded. It felt rude calling him by his last name after everything. “What happened?”

Raphael looked and felt a little discomfited. “He says he would like time.” She glanced at Gabriel.

“We’ve been giving him time. It’s not been doing anything,” Gabriel pointed out.

“Not long enough,” Raphael disagreed. “We had so much time, Gabriel. Time he hasn’t had.”

On the surface level…sure. He could see that. He glanced at Samael. Ne looked unconvinced.

To the side, Draco and Luna seemed like they were about to gear up to protest.

“What exactly did he say, Raphael?” Gabriel asked. “Wasn’t it you who told us he’s masking?”

“Yes, but I understand that. I went through it myself. He and I – we’re very similar.” On noticing Gabriel still expected the details, Raphael sighed, obliging him. “He said there’s no issue. Pointed out we’re very similar and that he needs time. The same time I needed. He was…reassuring.”

There was a dry laugh from Draco. He rubbed a hand over his face.

“He asked that we trust him,” Raphael continued speaking. “Trust that he knows what he’s doing.”

Gabriel let out a hiss through his teeth, scrubbing a hand over his face. He’d spent some time with Michael here now. Time trying to get him to relax and come out of his shell. Just…anything other than the damn blankness that they were dealing with.

Their own conversation had gone so well, though even then Gabriel knew he was hiding something. Whatever Michael had shown him was true enough but it wasn’t the entire truth. It couldn’t be. Not when it felt so different from his other siblings.

There’d been a glimpse of it with Samael during that disastrous conversation after his friends came here. A glimpse of something Gabriel hadn’t seen since. That exhaustion and that all-too-familiar self-blame. It was a game Gabriel was intimately familiar with.

Gabriel rolled his shoulders, then turned towards Raphael. He tucked himself in, then reached out reassuringly, warmly. “Like this, sister?”

Raphael startled, giving him a wide-eyed look. Samael didn’t look that surprised, more resigned.

“It’s going to be okay, right?” Gabriel said, smiling, keeping his tone gentle, fitting the energy of his Grace. “Hey, I got it handled.” He laughed, giving a quicksilver grin, and shifted once more, bringing out boldness. “It’s all good, yeah? There’s nothing I can’t handle.”

“Gabriel—”

And he shifted once more, throwing aside the nervousness of what he was about to do. Tony sharpened his grin. “I got this.”

“This might make things worse,” Raphael cautioned.

Tony glanced at Draco and Luna, both of whom looked faintly bewildered. He gave them a reassuring smile. “Things are already fucked, Raphael. Besides, fixing things is what I do.”

He didn’t wait for a response, taking off to where Michael was. He found him standing in the forest, looking up at the sky and very carefully not feeling. Yeah, no. He landed right by Michael, taking hold of his shoulder. “So! That’s enough of that.”

Michael jolted, startled, even though there was nothing in his Grace. He was satisfyingly wide-eyed, though. He tried to twist away, but Tony held onto him tightly. “Gabriel—”

“If the next words coming out of your mouth are ‘I’m fine’ I will set your pants on fire.”

Michael narrowed his eyes, seeming to consider how serious Tony was. “I wasn’t going to.”

Tony had felt the incoming “I’m fine” coming a mile away. It was ridiculous. “And I’m the king of Asgard. Seriously. Michael.”

“What?”

“Don’t be obtuse.” It was like Samael all over again. Just…less moody. Or at least less moody in the open. “Sure, you can take all the time you want, but I don’t see how that’s actually going to help you when you keep flagellating yourself.”

“I’m not—”

“You are. You think I can’t recognize it?” It wasn’t quite the same, but Tony knew what it was like. Of not being good enough, of not being enough. Of needing to leave because no one would ever listen to him and it was all broken anyway. He gave Michael a pained smile. For this to work, he was going to need to share a little. So Michael knew he wasn’t in this alone – that he wasn’t being judged or pitied. “Take it from someone who did a deep dive into identity politics because I couldn’t stand being me.”

There was no response from Michael. He was just staring at Tony, wide-eyed and still so damn blank.

“I’m not going to tell you how I did it,” Tony said, “trade secrets being what they are and all, but it happened. I get it, Michael. I also know that all the time in the world did jack shit with helping me out.” Being Loki hadn’t helped. Being the Trickster hadn’t helped. It had just shoved it down further and further – how he ran from being him. Ran from his responsibilities.

Michael huffed, something like irritation flickering across his features. “And you’re going to tell me what did?”

Tony was hit with a sudden rush of nostalgia for teenage Sam. Down to the irritated little scrunch between the eyebrows. He shrugged. “Talking did. My friends did. My family. It still took time, but it wasn’t quite so painful with company.” He didn’t look away from Michael’s eyes. “You’re not as fine as you’re telling us you are, and you’re not as fine as you think you are.”

There was a flicker there. Something like fear in Michael’s Grace, but it disappeared so quickly Tony almost missed it. But his face did something else, flinching back.

“Don’t give me that look,” Tony said, aware he was pushing but this needed to happen. “I’m just saying. Anyone who went through even half of what you did would be a mess, and you’re claiming you’re just fine? Can handle it on your own?”

Michael looked away, though it seemed to take an effort. He was as stiff as iron under Tony’s grip, trying to move but Tony wasn’t having it. Not now. If he ran now, this wasn’t going to work. Tony was done with this entire affair; he’d had it.

But it seemed like a little of it had gone through. Maybe. He still wasn’t getting anything concrete off Michael beyond the very clear air of do not want to be here.

It seemed fitting that Michael’s vessel was that of a teenager. He certainly behaved like one at times.

Even if he wasn’t one, and Tony knew why Michael was behaving like this, even if it was frustrating. He sighed. “You probably can manage it,” he acknowledged. “Muddle your way through it. It’s what you’ve done all this time, isn’t it? Alone. I’m going to say it again, and this time maybe it’ll sink through your thick skull. We’re here for you.”

“You shouldn’t have to be,” Michael said immediately.

He hadn’t expected the quick answer, not when Michael had seemed to shut down. But this seemed to be something he could use. “There’s no should about it. There’s no ‘should’ about any of this. We are.”

Michael dropped his eyes to the grass.

“What should you do?” Tony asked after a moment, since the “should” seemed to be a sticking point. If Michael thought they shouldn’t help him, then there had to be something Michael thought he should do. He’d mentioned it before back during the argument with Samael.

There was a startled, almost suspicious side-eye from Michael. He seemed to be gauging Tony’s sincerity. Considering Tony was being 100%, bona fide sincere here, Michael wasn’t going to get anything else.

After a long moment of this, Michael slowly responded. “I should protect you.” He paused, then added, “I should have protected you.”

“Okay,” Tony agreed easily. This was expected. Michael had mentioned this before. “What else?”

There was another suspicious side-eye here, like Tony was leading Michael into a trick. “I should be fine.”

Oh, this was new. This was something different.  “Ah, acknowledging you’re not?”

“I am—”

“Pants. On. Fire.”

Michael thankfully did not continue that statement, which would have been a blatant lie to anyone who knew him. He also clammed up, no longer looking at Tony and instead staring off into the distance.

But it was a relief that Michael had the awareness that he wasn’t fine, even if he kept insisting he was. And maybe on some level he was really fine, but on so many other levels he wasn’t. That was the issue and that was what Tony was trying to finagle here. “There’s something else as well, isn’t there?” he asked, gentling his tone.

Predictably, there was no response. Tony waited several minutes, counting it down, before realizing Michael had said what he was going to. If there was going to be anything else, Tony would have to push a little more. He’d have to give just a bit more. “Is it… ‘I should be better than this’?”

That did get a reaction, Michael immediately looking up at him.

Tony smiled ruefully. “I’ve thought that, too,” he admitted. “There’s a lot of things I should have done differently. A lot of things I failed at because I wasn’t good enough.” He rubbed the side of his neck with his free hand, shrugging loosely. “You’re not the only one to think that, Michael. Not the first and not the last.”

“Isn’t it different?” Michael asked.

Tony didn’t ask what Michael meant by what should be different. Michael’s intention was clear in their link. They may have been angels, may have been other, but that didn’t mean they were infallible. But he didn’t want to just answer him; he wanted Michael to have his own answer. “Who says it is? Who says you should be fine or better?”

Michael tilted his head, something distant crossing his expression for a moment before he looked back at Tony. “Isn’t it expected?” He gestured vaguely between them.

Tony raised an eyebrow. “Expected? Bro, since when have I ever done what was expected of me?”

Tony didn’t need to read minds to know that Michael was thinking of answers and coming up with nothing.

“So why can’t you do the same?” Tony pressed. “Because you’re the obedient child? How well has that worked out for you?”

There was no response from Michael, but the non-answer was as good as one for him.

Tony nodded, adding, “It hasn’t worked out for any of us. So throw away ‘should,’ Michael. There’s no ‘should’ in free will. Which is a thing we have. I know I mentioned this to you before.”

“And what of our duties, Gabriel? Like it or not, there are things we can’t lightly abandon even with free will.”

Of course it came back to that. It usually did, though this was a question Gabriel had to deal with before. He nodded, then shrugged. “Yeah, sure. But we’ve got all the flexibility in figuring out how we can do those duties. I can do my job just fine here; no reason for me to go back to Heaven to stay. So there’s no reason for you to do whatever you’re doing because you think you should.”

It looked like there was a question on the tip of Michael’s tongue, but what he ended up saying instead was “I don’t know.” He turned away again.

“That’s okay,” Tony said quietly. “You don’t have to. I didn’t either. The only reason I do now is because I’ve been doing this a lot longer.”

A muscle twitched in Michael’s jaw, just about the only sign of frustration Tony could pick up from him. “You’ve had all the time in the world,” he said, no sign of that frustration in his voice. “You don’t seem quite so willing to extend me the same.” It was a very reasonable tone. One which he’d probably used on Raphael.

It would probably have worked on Gabriel before, too, but he had the experience to not believe that tone now.

Tony shot him a sharp look, poking his neck with a finger. “Oh, I know that tone. That’s the whole ‘I’m being very reasonable right now and you better listen to me’ tone.”

“I don’t – I don’t have that tone.”

“You do. It’s also the ‘I’m your big sibling and know better so trust me’ tone.”

There was a frown now, Michael’s lips twisting.

“Unfortunately for you,” Gabriel continued, “that tone stopped working on me a long time ago.”

“Did it.” Michael’s tone was bone dry.

“Oh, it did. You see, I like to be contrary. Tell me one thing, and I’ll do the opposite.”

There was a beat before Michael actually said, “Then don’t go away and don’t give me time.”

It took Gabriel several seconds to actually comprehend that Michael had really just said that, like a petulant child, before he burst into laughter. “Ha! Nice try there, buddy.” He leaned an elbow on Michael’s shoulder, pressing him down slightly. He poked Michael’s cheek. “I raised four kids and took care of multiple others. You’ve got nothing on me in terms of pulling the wool over my eyes.”

There was a rueful smile from Michael here, the smallest quirk of his lips, before it disappeared. He didn’t otherwise react.

Tony refocused, breathing slowly. “My point is,” he said firmly, “that might work on Raphael, but it sure as hell won’t work on me. I mean, sure, we can leave you on your own. Give you all the time you’re asking for and more. But what’s that going to do? Leave you to stew in your thoughts?”

“It worked before,” Michael muttered, still sounding like a petulant child.

Tony had to do his level best not to pinch Michael’s cheek, settling for slinging his arm around Michael’s shoulders and poking his cheek. Not pinching. Poking. The goal wasn’t to piss him off. Ideally he’d do this without holding onto him, but he had the strong suspicion that if he let go Michael would just up and flee and having a conversation like this while running didn’t really work. “That’s the problem, isn’t it? Before sucked. Before left you alone. Before led to this mess. There are a lot of things we’re doing now, and we’re doing our best not to repeat our past mistakes.”

Michael shot him a glance before turning away. He didn’t say anything, just drawing in a slow breath. He was still, annoyingly, blank. There was nothing Tony could pick up from him.

“Hey.” Tony tugged him in closer, nagging him. “Talk to me.”

There was just a head shake.

“You were doing well before. What happened?”

Michael didn’t even shake his head, eyes fixed on the grass. It wasn’t even that he was looking at something else off in the distance; his gaze was intent. He was also ignoring Tony to the best of his ability.

Again, Tony was hit with the image of a young Sam, downcast and stubborn and terrified of being rejected. None of his other kids had ever had those moments, except for the gods, but even they’d felt comfortable talking to him.

But he’d gotten through to Sam. He could do the same with Michael.

“Michael.” He tapped Michael’s cheek, repeatedly, until he definitely had Michael’s attention. “I can be very annoying. I can be so annoying. You’re not getting out of this.”

There was an instant of stillness before Michael broke, a frisson of anger sparking through his Grace. He spun on his heel, throwing Tony’s arm off with a burst of unexpected strength. “What’s the point?”

There was a moment of almost-panic before Tony got hold of it. He was very used to pissing off people. Michael could join the ranks. “What’s the point?”

“Yes, Gabriel. What’s the point of this? What exactly is this supposed to do?”

Michael wasn’t going to hurt him. He wasn’t. Tony refocused on Michael, on what he was here to do. “The point is to get it through that you’re not alone and you don’t have to deal with things by yourself. You don’t have to bottle it up. You don’t have to hide.”

“I’m not—”

“You are. Think I can’t see it? Think I haven’t seen it on others? I don’t know what you’re hiding there, but I know it’s not anything pleasant. I know that it’s not something you should deal with alone.”

“There’s no should in free will,” Michael said, irritating the fuck out of Tony and eerily sounding exactly like a mulish teenage Sam.

Tony winced, groaning, rubbing a hand over his face. “Of course that’s what you take away from this,” he muttered into his hand. He dragged in a long breath, doing his best to quell the frustration, the grief, because that wasn’t going to be helpful here. They were back to “should.” Fine. He could use that. “Who says you should deal with it alone, Michael?”

There was no verbal response, but Michael’s Grace flickered. It wasn’t steady. Michael’s jaw clenched, and he took in a breath that seemed to steady his Grace.

Tony stepped in closer, only for Michael to take a step back. Tony didn’t take another step but instead leaned in. He wasn’t going to let this go. “Who, Michael?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Michael’s tone was flat.

“Spell it out to me like I’m five.”

Michael’s frown was confused now. “You’re not five.”

Fine, he’d give Michael that. “Irrelevant. Pretend I’m a human kid and need small words.”

Michael swallowed, pulling in another breath that steadied the tell-tale flickering of his Grace.

“No.” Tony just restrained himself from reaching out, thinking that it might actually break something. “No. You’re not hiding.”

“You don’t need to see this,” Michael ground out. “None of you do. This isn’t your responsibility. It’s not your responsibility to deal with my mess.” His Grace flickered but it wasn’t enough for Tony to pick up what Michael was hiding.

They were back to responsibility. Something else Michael had brought up to Samael. “Then this isn’t something dear old Dad told you to do, is it?” he asked softly.

“He told me to protect you,” Michael said. “He told me to protect all of you. You know how well I succeeded with that.”

“And this is protecting us?” Tony gestured to all of Michael.

“My mess is my own. It’s not yours to take on.”

“Then whose is it?” Tony waved around wildly at the trees around them. “Samael? You can’t even stay in the same room as nem. Raphael? You sent her away. Gadreel? Balthazar? Castiel? You can’t even look any of our other siblings in the eye. Just who is supposed to help you take this on?”

“No one is,” Michael snapped.

“Because it’s your weight alone?”

“Yes.”

Oh, fuck it. This was going round in circles. This was so incredibly frustrating that Tony felt bad for Michael’s friends for having had to deal with this for years on end. The even more frustrating piece was that despite Tony’s own aggravation at having to deal with Michael stonewalling, he also got it. That was even more ridiculous.

“Do you even hear yourself?” Tony dragged a hand over his face and through his hair. “Ugh, I hear you and I hear myself and I can’t believe no one punched me in the face.” He was sure Rhodey had come close to it at times. Natasha would have just stabbed him. But he couldn’t just leave this. “Michael. I know your friends wouldn’t have let you keep thinking this. They certainly reamed us out for leaving you alone.”

There was a flicker over Michael’s face now, something resignedly fond.

“It’s not a weight you should bear yourself,” Tony said, gentling his tone slightly. “None of this ever should have been. And I know…I know bridges have been burned that may not be rebuilt. I know what I’m asking you to do isn’t easy. I know that.” This wasn’t pain easy to share; this wasn’t a weight one felt comfortable sharing, not when sharing it made one vulnerable. His throat ached, and he winced, rubbing over it briefly. He didn’t meet Michael’s eyes, struggling with this next piece. He had to – had to if this was going to work. For Michael to even feel comfortable sharing with someone he saw as a little brother. “I…I was so ashamed that I had to rely on Gadreel. That because of my weakness, he had to shoulder my pain and figure out what to do.”

A flicker ran through Michael’s Grace, something darkening it. “That wasn’t…that wasn’t your fault.”

Tony smiled weakly. “Maybe not. My choices led me to that position, and I’d do it again. I would.” That scar still ached, partly phantom, partly actual pain. He rubbed over his throat once more before dropping his hand.

“I wouldn’t.” Michael looked slightly startled at the admission.

Tony’s next smile was a little wry. “But you can’t go back. You can’t go back, can’t change what happened, so what’s the point? You – Michael – everything that happened, it wasn’t just you. I made my choices. Samael made nir own. And Raphael made her bed and lay down in it. We all did. What happened wasn’t just on you. It’s not just your weight, and even if it were, let us share it with you.” Tony extended a hand. “Let me share it. No one else is here; no one else is looking. That’s what you’re worried about, isn’t it? The others watching? Judging? They won’t; they can’t. It’s just us. And, Michael, I’m not. I’ve been there. I get it. I really, really do.” He’d tried to make that clear; he didn’t know how much clearer he could make it. “And if I have to keep you here until it gets through your damn head, I will keep you here because it’s gone on long enough.”

There was no response for a long moment, but Michael wasn’t shutting down. He was studying Tony intently, likely once more gauging his sincerity. It was all he was going to find.

Tony didn’t move, keeping his hand outstretched in that figurative and literal offer to help. He just hoped Michael was going to take it because he was almost out of ideas at this point beyond chucking Samael at his head to see if something blew up.

“And if it’s my choice not to?” Michael asked eventually, quiet. “Would you take that from me?”

Oh, that sucked. Tony twisted his mouth, pulling back slightly. Michael’s face was still unreadable, as was his Grace.

This was the awful piece for free will. That while he could disagree with someone else’s choice, that was still their choice to make. Even if it was a fucking stupid one.

Tony considered his options here, what to say that wouldn’t give Michael a clear out. “If you can tell me honestly, openly, that you’re choosing it because you absolutely want to, and not because you think you should. Only then, Michael.”

Michael wouldn’t be able to wiggle out of that quite so easily as with English. It was the last card he had to play here.

And it seemed to make Michael stop, something else flickering over his face and his Grace. He swallowed, his next breath shaky and loud to Tony’s ears.

“Can you?” Tony asked.

Michael seemed mute, staring blankly at him. There was something else about him now, something that was almost difficult to pin down but seemed…heavy. It was an unbearably long moment later when Michael shook his head.

Oh, thank the universe. He relaxed slightly, stepping closer, relieved when Michael stayed in place. “I’m here, sibling.”

“You don’t want to be,” Michael whispered. “I don’t.”

Wasn’t that a familiar sentiment? Not wanting to be stuck in his own skin – his own Grace? But for all they could jump vessels, they couldn’t stop being themselves. Not really. Gabriel gave Michael a wry smile. “No one can make me do anything I don’t want to. You certainly never could, no matter how much you tried. I’m here because I want to be.”

Michael didn’t respond, but Gabriel hadn’t expected one. He also didn’t move, which was another positive. He hadn’t looked away from Gabriel. That heavy sensation was still around him, just…lingering.

“Trust me,” Gabriel said, half-pleading. He extended his hand once more. “Trust me as your equal.” He wasn’t Samael; he wasn’t even Raphael. He had to hope that just being him would be enough.

Michael didn’t take his hand, but something else shifted as he breathed, his attention moving from Gabriel to something else – something inside him.

There was no physical movement, but they didn’t need to move to see each other. And Michael’s Grace – his true form – was motionless, no change but for something that had Gabriel on the edge because he could tell he was trying.

Tension seeped into Michael, his vessel’s shoulders tightening and his breathing quickening.

“Relax,” Gabriel murmured, keeping his tone as calm and gentle as he could. They had time for this. This wasn’t going to happen quickly, not if Michael had kept himself this tightly controlled for so long. “It’s okay. There’s no rush. I’m not going anywhere, I promise. Take your time.”

Michael’s next breath was shaky, sharp grief hitting Gabriel with all the force of a spaceship. It was there for a moment before disappearing, Michael hiding it, but there was panic now, too.

“It’s okay.” Gabriel kept his voice calm, soothing. “I’m here. You can let it out.” He didn’t physically reach out but did send reassurance towards Michael, hoping it would help.

Michael’s flinch was both physical and with his Grace. He reeled back from Gabriel, still panicky, wildly uncontrolled in a way Gabriel had never seen before. And yet, in that brief touch, Gabriel knew it wasn’t something he deserved, it wasn’t okay, why did he need that?

Gabriel stepped in closer, reaching out to try and steady Michael, but Michael took another step back, and this seemed instinctive, like he wasn’t even aware he was doing it.

There was a dull burst of aching pain that hit Gabriel in the chest. He winced, his own Grace aching in sympathetic pain. He couldn’t even fully tell what it was, only there was grief there, before it was gone as Michael clearly attempted to pull it back.

“It’s okay, Michael,” Gabriel murmured, though he wasn’t sure how much Michael was registering or even processing right now. But he could at least make this as reassuring as possible, make sure Michael knew he wasn’t alone. “You’re not alone; I’m here. Let it out; you’re doing great. You’re doing so great.”

He thought he was better prepared this time for reaching out to reassure Michael, but the gut-wrenching grief, loathing, disgust, disappointment that hit him left him almost gasping. And there was more. There was so much more that hadn’t yet come out yet and the grass was browning at Michael’s feet and the earth cracking ominously, the trees shaking and groaning as their bark split.

Asgard was not going to make it if this continued. The only reason Gabriel was still as fine as he was could be attributed to his new position.

Gabriel reached out again, this time to gently take hold of Michael so they could leave Asgard. He met instant resistance (too gentle, too gentle, not for him), Michael flailing and struggling and it was only because Gabriel technically didn’t need to fly anymore that they even made it off Asgard to begin with before he lost his grip and Michael crash-landed on a planet.

Well, he wasn’t about to hurt Michael and with how Michael had struggled, he would have needed to hurt him to restrain him.

Gabriel landed a split-second after Michael did and was hit with blazing anger that felt like a Wolf-Rayet star at its hottest, barely bracing through it before he was choking on acidic and sharp guilt.

It wasn’t anger at others. It was anger at himself, and that was terrifying.

Michael didn’t think he deserved gentleness. He didn’t think he deserved sympathy. He thought he deserved the pain.

And that – that was – no. Fuck it, Gabriel muttered. You’re going to like this and take this.

He reached out again, making sure to keep it as gentle as possible because Michael did deserve that, and this time he held on tightly and didn’t let go. He pulled Michael into him, hugging him physically and wrapping himself around his Grace.

The exhaustion was next, so unbearably heavy and awful that Gabriel really did just feel like lying down and not getting up. He could scarcely find the energy to breathe for air, though that wasn’t altogether bad considering how awful this planet’s air was. It didn’t disappear, magnified by feelings of utter helplessness and hopelessness that he was worthless, wrong, it was all because of him.

The earth around him cracked, but Gabriel wrapped himself around Michael further, making sure it wouldn’t affect the planet. He buffeted the anguished energy from Michael’s Grace, breathing through the slight sparks of pain in his own as the heat scorched him; it was far more bearable than it had been before, and this was manageable.

At least Michael wasn’t pulling away anymore. He was holding Gabriel back tightly, burrowing into his Grace and thankfully no longer rejecting the reassurance. His vessel had also gotten the memo, arms wrapped around Gabriel’s stomach.

The exhaustion still soaked into Gabriel and he had trouble seeing how Michael even had the energy for anything with that always dragging him down. The self-loathing, though… Yeah, that tracked; it was more familiar.

Thankfully that was the last of it. The grief, self-loathing, anger, guilt, disappointment, exhaustion… There wasn’t anything else that came out from behind the discarded mask.

Michael still didn’t seem to entirely have awareness of where he was or who he was with, just clinging and shuddering. It was almost frightening, but Gabriel had asked for this and this was what he wanted. He just stayed still, holding onto him.

A volcano erupted in the distance, the earth rumbling beneath their bodies in a pattern that was solely the planet’s. He was not going to get the stench of sulfur out of his clothing anytime soon unless he cheated.

There was another eruption closer to them and a minor earthquake before Michael jolted back into proper awareness, shuddering and whining in the back of his throat. He was panicking now, Grace writhing against Gabriel’s (too much, too much, hide it).

Hush, Gabriel said quietly, not letting him go. Breathe. It had worked well enough for Michael before. Focus on that.

Michael did breathe, though he struggled and choked on the toxic air of the planet. He didn’t quite seem to have the fine control necessary to breathe and heal the damage to his lungs so clearly gave up and just held his vessel in stasis. He felt vaguely reproachful.

Yeah, that was definitely Gabriel’s bad. Sorry. Not my first choice but you didn’t give me a whole lot of options.

Michael didn’t respond, but Gabriel wasn’t surprised given the level of exhaustion he was still picking up off Michael. But he was so much more open, everything clear for Gabriel to read if he wanted. And like this, pressed close, it wasn’t even an option. It just was.

And the protest from Michael was as clear as day.

Gabriel laughed, then regretted it when the air scraped against his own throat and lungs. Hey, I was all for taking you somewhere else but you ejected early. So…here’s where we’re at.

Michael didn’t physically move but Gabriel could feel him evaluating their surroundings.

He rubbed a hand over Michael’s back, watching the dust wipe off the black fabric of the robes he continued to wear. He did the same with Michael’s Grace, though Michael shrank back from that, radiating shame and guilt.

No, they weren’t going to deal with that. Hey. Look at me. Do you see any pity?

Michael had a similar connection with Gabriel’s Grace given how they were pressed together. He would definitely notice pity, and that was the last thing Gabriel felt for him. There was no pity.

There was a silent negative from Michael, along with a cut off but that Gabriel knew the rest to.

You deserve this, Gabriel said flatly, firm. Get that out of your head. You do.

Michael’s response was to pull back. He didn’t let go of Gabriel, but his Grace withdrew slightly. He seemed to be trying to regain some of the stability he’d shed, though it wasn’t quite working.

Gabriel could feel him shaking where he was lying in his lap. He rubbed over Michael’s back again. You don’t have to hide, he said reassuringly. Not from me. I’ve already seen it all, and I don’t care. Wait, he might take that the wrong way. Well, I do care, but I don’t care that you’re feeling that way. No, shit. No, I do, but not in a way that’s bad. I mean that it’s okay for you to feel that way and I don’t care if you show it. Michael wasn’t laughing but he seemed close to it. Hey, stop laughing!

The sense of laughter didn’t fade, the amusement warm and fond.

It was catching, Gabriel laughing now despite the earlier experience with this planet’s air. Stop it. You know what I mean. There’s no need to hide here. Not from me.

He only knew Michael heard him because of how he no longer attempted to shy away from Gabriel. He just lay there, letting Gabriel hold him.

Which was great. Gabriel didn’t want to disturb him, but this was the wrong sort of planet for something like this. He did let it be for now, until the constant erupting of volcanoes was all he could hear and would likely continue to hear for the foreseeable future. C’mon. Let me take you somewhere better.

It took a while for any kind of answer from Michael, but eventually he had one, and Gabriel shifted them to the planet he’d selected. It was nice and verdant, moist and rich. The sound of water bubbling filled the background, which was nice compared to the last planet.

Gabriel rubbed over Michael’s shoulders. “Try breathing now. Should be decidedly less toxic.”

It took a minute before Michael did start breathing, restarting his body’s biological processes. He otherwise didn’t move, just breathing and existing.

It wasn’t quite so terrifying anymore, seeing Michael like this. It was almost a relief, because this seemed more like Michael than he’d ever been before. And Gabriel wanted him to stay like this, open and not closed off and hurting.

Maybe he could be.

There were a lot of things that seemed possible now.