#also i hope the amount of sharks i included was ok

[mayakern]

now i’m curious what were ur fav MP goofs !!! :0

ok i have a 10 image limit and some of these are multi-image jokes so i’ll try to distill these as best i can. also these jokes are all from i think chapter 4 and later, where i really flourished my sense of humor more

1. marina’s high school crush/bff sharkwanda being a highly contentious contestant on a spoof of top model

this is specifically a spoof of the early seasons, which usually had an assessment within the first 2 or 3 episodes, including a weigh in. as much as i loved trashy tv, i always hated these moments so i thought it would be funny to have a literal shark and to have her be weighed against mostly average-sized humanoids because it would be ridiculous for anyone to expect a healthy shark to weigh the same amount as a human.

there were a couple other layers to this: george idolizing her as a strong, independent woman. george’s brother freaking out because sharkwanda just ate a man on camera and no one’s overly bothered by this. george chastising him for not realizing it was obviously fake/over dramatized for the ratings (and not examining that then this moment of “self empowerment” would also be fake). and then also i named her after a fish named wanda. except she’s a shark named wanda. she’s also the most beautiful and popular girl in the world and she wins her season and becomes a very successful model.

2. the tinsley family thanksgiving outfits. actually their themed outfits in general. i think shit like this is super cute and funny. i also just enjoy writing siblings who rib each other lovingly.

also the part of this where george’s mom has three eyes (she’s psychic) and her dad has no eyes, so her brother has two eyes and for all intents and purposes looks human, but he is a full blooded monster. early on i had some ideas for an off shoot chapter about eli and his struggles with his identity (being a monster but not looking like one and not feeling at home in either community), but it got scrapped for time and also because it felt like too close a parallel to mixed race people who pass as white and that’s not my story to tell.

3. sharkwanda’s cover (up) girl ad campaign during the superb owl half time show. some of this stuff was a bit on the nose, but there’s a line about sharkwanda finally having makeup that doesn’t melt off her face like hot cheese that i still like

4. this multi-strip joke where franny’s dad pulls a turkey out of a hat. just read it there’s nothing to explain lol

5. basically every part of the magic shop scene, but especially the part where percy meets franny’s dad for the first time during a very tense situation and franny’s dad is wearing a skeleton (this is a reference to ranma 1/2). and then also percy sits and there’s a whoopee cushion. it’s incredibly awkward and not exactly haha funny, but it simultaneously cuts and adds to the tension in a way that is very monsterpop.

6. human!franny getting ben a dog toy as his secret santa gift (he doesn’t own a dog) and then dropping it and then it making a horrific, shrill squeak when it bounces

7. the whole situation with chadler, his horrible christmas outfit, the marshmallow gun, and him taking sexy santa ben as prisoner.

8. ben, killed by glitter, soon to be avenged by his crush comrade (or not)

9. george being gifted a framed painting of a photo of herself, asleep during class, which she later carries into an actual museum and gets in trouble for because a guard thinks she stole a piece of art

10. the brotebook

this has been very long but i hope u enjoyed it

[neurotypicalsyndrome]

@boyfriended

x - x - x | x - x - x | x - x - x

[rosepetalwings]

Oh I'm More Than Glad To Talk About Deeprune

ok so lets run through the au in sections

DEEPRUNE

Story:

The cast are now all mythological mermaid/siren creatures.

The Light World is the epipelagic zone (and upper half of mesopelagic zone) of the ocean and live in ignorance of the strange creatures that look as they do in the twilight below...

Dark World is mid-mesopelagic and below, full of frightening sea creatures those so blessed to live in sea reef coral homes could never hope to fathom... and should never hope to meet.

One day, one of the 4 kings of the ocean basins drew help from a powerful, unknown force and imprisoned his peers at the bottom of the deep sea trenches... And to this day, he rules his little area, biding his time for the day the Dark can take over the Light.

That is, of course, unless a very human looking siren, a sea crocodile tough girl, a bioluminscent jellyfish(?) fluffy boy, and a villainous... cloaked hybrid thing can fulfill a very familiar prophecy...

Locations:

Light Zone

Hometown - A bright and cheerful coral reef with a good amount of merfolk in the community.

School ‐ Building constructed out of stone and hidden amongst normal marine foliage and coral. Normal congregations of school akin to what the land-dwellers (or terrans, as the merfolk might call them) do for their own children.

Hospital ‐ Made in the same way as the school and serves the same function as its land counterpart. The hospital does have different instruments to serve its marine patients, however.

QC's diner - Hidden under a rock shelf and is more of an open seating arrangement. Fan coral serves as a sort of decorative barrier to keep the seating plan from being too open.

ICEE's p"e"zzeria - Incredibly conspicuous and placed between the brightest coral on the reef for the attention-grabbing colors. High visibility means free advertising, no?

The Graveyard - In a clearing among the kelp forest, there lies a set of engraved stones covered in algae. It's especially quiet there. Peaceful when you focus on the sunlight filtering in through the kelp stalks.

The bunker - Placed just before the continental shelf begins to fall off into complete and utter darkness. The merfolk in town warn their children to never near that area.

Dark Zone

????? - A craggy mess of rocks on the outskirts of the continental shelf. The light begins to grow strange here for whatever reason...

Castle Town - A shipwreck amongst the craggy rocks in the dark where a strangely kind shadowy figure lives.

Field - A seemingly endless stretch of ocean in which a Lightner's vision alone cannot be used to find one's way in the dark, lest they be horribly lost until the end of time. Or lest they stray further down, where it grows darker, yet darker...

The Scarlet Forest - Not really a forest, per se. More a jestful remark over the collection of sea creatures that have evolved to have a red tone to their skin as camouflage in the watery depths. The creatures are so very frightening and strange with their sharp-toothed open maws and flashy photophores. Strange to think how normal this all is down in the depths...

Great Board - The inlets and caves that checker the continental slope and house very many deep sea merfolk. Very many large tunnels dug out to house many of the population and keep them interconnected as a society. Alas, this stationary grouping also makes them vulnerable to the power of kingly apex predators.

The Castle - Hidden within the depths of the Mariana Trench. None of the Board have seen the castle in such grave depths and lived to tell the tale. None but a strange barreleye and his hyper young ward...

Characters:

Lightners

Kris - A mostly human-shaped siren, save for fishy bits, including but not limited to, gills and an iridescent shine to their hair. Always sneaking off to play tricks on unsuspecting beach goers. Kind of a quiet kid but their mischievous grin says it all for them.

Susie - A rude, rough-and-tumble kind of sea crocodile gill girl that does not appreciate nautical wordplay. She will appreciate your lunch money, though.

Noelle - The most nervous kelpie you'll ever meet. Easily provoked but she's very sweet and intelligent and perhaps she's a shade dorky, but it's through that dorkiness she'll find a way to make you smile.

Asriel - Sweet and effortlessly loveable and smart and talented capricorn brother to Kris who's just gone off to do independent study in a different sea basin! He's coming back to town next week; Kris seems a little downcast as of late, though...

Alphys - Marine iguana teacher at the reef's local school. Please don't ask her for her reviews on neat human media she's managed to salvage, we'll be here all week.

Undyne - The undying undine on everyone's minds! ...Because she's likely tried to tackle you for minor offenses like littering or jay-swimming in the humdrum life of this little reef town. She's somewhat of a vigilante, working by her own judicial metrics and warning the reef of any terran sightings or other such troubles. Not much to report on though, these days...

Toriel & Asgore - The capricorn divorcees. Haven't you heard; the news has spread all over the place! What a shame too, they looked just like the perfect reef family...

Sans and Papyrus - The strange brothers that just moved into the reef... Coelacanth merfolk with mottled, skeletal appearances. The shorter brother "runs" the reef market. ...If you can get a fin in the door, anyway. The taller one hasn't made much of a public appearance in town yet; hard to comment on him.

Darkners

Ralsei - The prince of the prophesy, as well as the bringer of Light to the Dark, as symbolized through his charmed hat and cloak, to make him appear as though he is but a jellyfish that sways with the currents. Seems to be as soft in personality as a jellyfish's bell though.

Lancer - A hooded, mischievous figure that's always up to no good. It's kind of hard to tell what he is, with his short, stubby tentacles and furry, webbed paws, but he's kind of too adorable and personable to care much about it. Popular vote's on dumbo octopus though.

Rouxls - A vigilant barreleye with his haunting eyes always to the sky in search of tributes to pay his king or danger from which to protect the child of a royal bloodline he's been entrusted to care for. He's ditzy and kind of an asshole, but deep down, he's got a good SOUL... that glows through his transparent chest.

Seam - Ah? Looking for wares? Seam's will definitely have something to cure what ails you. The old anglerfish sits behind the shop counter, items lit only by the faint light of small jellies and the wisened shopkeep's lantern-like forehead protrusion. Go for the low prices and stay for the enchanting tales.

Jevil - A laugh sounds in the dark before you could ever approach his cell. He's nothing but needle teeth smiles when he explains to you the nature of the game. Numbers game. Must be a couple of sharks to have gotten down there in the first place. And this freed jester wouldn't have it any other way - sharks to goblin shark.

King - He is, by all accounts, imperceivable. He is larger than life and covered in shifting, writhing appendages that do not keep the shape you once thought them to be, no matter how hard you attempt to keep your focus on any point of his form. He is Leviathan, and the fact that you are before him means that you are incredibly fucked.

Knight - [REDACTED]

PREVIOUS DRAWINGS

Rouxls and a mysterious man

Unmasked Lancer

okay... i think that's about it! don't be afraid to ask for more clarification on anything, i know i gave general overview/musing blurb of... kind of everything i could think to describe! hope this is fine!

or ask me to infodump on another of my AUs! ;3c

[kopawz]

📂📂!!

OH BOY! TWO OF THEM! :D 📂📂 i ate 2 bowls of macaroni and cheese so if i sound delirious from being lost in the sauce, i am.

📂 ok so for my first useless headcannon, i think that everybody who says Phoenix Wright's element as a representation of fire like the stereotypical phoenix is wrong and silly, rise from the ashes my ass (no offense if you think this but i have cool reasons why you are wrong but i am open to be argued with)

i think he's more like water instead, because he's always adapting to whatever situation he's in like water does. he can be boiling to the point of being more scalding than the hottest flame when he's mad- cold shoulder that feels more subarctic than the atlantic ocean in january when you're on the receiving end of it. water being easily corrupted by pollution, which takes painstaking amounts of time to restore back to it's previous state. (phoenix i'm so sorry they rushed your recovery arc from aa4 to aa5 you deserved a game in between the two to space that shit out oh my god.) also blue. how did we miss blue- fire is RED you guys you missed the whole fucking color theory GOD-

sorry i just think it's more fun to think about the ocean in regards to phoenix rather than fire, like we get it- he keeps dying and coming back, so what! so do the 1000 year old sharks in the ocean how is that any different this is silly whatever. WHATEVER!

ok after this is the second useless head cannon which is much longer and more delirious. it's in the keep reading below if you want to see me go batshit about kid icarus, go home if you don't like reading anymore

📂 ok so secondly i have a theory on how the Mirror of Truth in kid icarus works, I have a whole fucking essay for you for just the first useless headcannon: [no i am not just typing this because we didn't get any kid icarus news in the direct]

Alirght- first, we must see how the Mirror of Truth works. It literally just duplicates whatever is in front of it- with the added bonus of the copy AUTOMATICALLY serving the Underworld's army.

Pandora uses this mirror in her lair to create hordes upon hordes of monsters to serve her purposes. She decides to try and copy Pit, hoping to use his duplicated power to wreak havoc with the force of an angel on the Underworld's side.

But- um! Oopsie! Pit breaks it before it can "successfully" copy. Or at least that's a lot of people think, not me though!

The mirror copied him perfectly, except for the one side-effect of not serving Pandora.

But before I explain... what does it mean for the Mirror of Truth to successfully copy according to Pandora's definition?

Well, Dark Pit doesn't meet the success criteria, because of two things- and we're not including his more Hot Topic-esque appearance because that's just likely to make him easier to distinguish from Pit in-game.

1. First of all, he isn't loyal to Pandora or the Underworld like the mirror's supposed to be making him act. In fact, he doesn't want to be loyal to anybody, kicks Pandora's ass, and steals her powers for his own personal use (for a little bit).

2. He isn't just un-loyal, he's also aggressive, irritable, self-centered, arrogant enough to claim that he's the original Pit, and has a notable dislike for most, if not all of the gods. Doesn't sound like our boy, right? Hahaha! No!! well yeah. no? yeah! yes. maybe. ok hangon let me explain-

Dark Pit definitely gets a lot of his sour opinions and habits from Pit, I promise- He's not just an edgy clone like smash brothers made everybody think. Everything that Dark Pit does is something that Pit would do if pushed hard enough.

He literally says that he embodies what true feelings Pit is too scared to display, anyway-

which makes Pit respond VERY defensively and angrily in response-

But I'm gonna give you more examples anyway, because I'm already on this train-ride of a tangent.

At the end of the game after the final boss, Palutena mentions in the ending scene that humans and gods are similar creatures, because they're both greedy and selfish:

And Pit basically responds by saying "Nope! You guys are worse!" before flying off into the sunset without elaborating.

Probably passing it off as a joke, though- Pit and Dark Pit definitely care about Palutena at least, as tricky as she is. The other gods, though? Fuck em', that's why!

They're both incredibly reckless about their own safety, as long as whatever dogshit plan they came up with takes down the enemy or accomplishes their goal.

GOD.

DAMMIT.

I REACHED MY IMAGE LIMIT OF 10 PER POST.

Ok whatever- I'm gonna give you a list of stupid ideas they both had that worked, but I can't show any images because... 10 image limit

-DP kicks an Underworld Gatekeeper in the face to look cool, and decides leave for the rest of that chapter.

-DP launches the Lightning Chariot into a portal to keep it open longer so Palutena can be saved from Chaos Kin. The

-Pit and DP make up a shitty battle song on the spot, implying that they both have terrible song ideas in their head, Pit is the only one who chooses to do this constantly without shame.

-Pit launches himself off a cliff after DP is attacked by the Chaos Kin, setting his wings on fire and almost dying in the process trying to save him.

-After Pit's wings are restored in the Rewind Spring, DP goes "my work here is done", and jumps off a cliff to leave- immediately forgetting that he still cannot fly due to the Chaos Kin's attack, so Viridi scoops him up like a kitten.

-When confronting Hades, DP once again launches the Lightning Chariot, directly into Hades' chest because he isn't sure how else to use it.

-Pit crashes a mech 10 seconds after operating it, after completing several trials to prove that he is even worthy of piloting it.

that was some really good mac n cheese

[aion-rsa]

Upcoming DC Movies: Complete Release Calendar

https://ift.tt/3u2VfrU

The DC Extended Universe is in full swing! With a healthy schedule of upcoming DC movies in development, the DCEU isn’t going away anytime soon, and there’s still lots to look forward to.

So, it’s time to take a look at all of the DCEU superhero movies that will be released over the next few years. And trust us, there are a ton of them on the way, and we expect more details will be announced as we go forward. We have all the release dates for every one of ’em right here, as well as official details, the most interesting rumors, and suggestions for further reading where appropriate.

Thanks to HBO Max, Suicide Squad 2 is on schedule for August 2021, with The Batman, Shazam 2, Aquaman 2, and more due in 2022. There’s a bright future for the newly revitalized DCEU movies!

Here’s how this works, because the schedule is getting a little weird. We’re starting with the DCEU movies that officially have release dates attached to them. Then we’ll get into the stuff that we know for 100% certain is in development, but that don’t have release dates yet. Then we’ll get into some of the long shots, the projects that are announced but quiet or seemingly dead, at the bottom.

Keep in mind that many of these are the CURRENT release dates as of this update, and all of these are subject to change. We’ll keep updating this with more information as we get it…

Our first trailer. Warning: gore & adult language & supervillains & adventure & heart. Can't wait to see it in a theater with all of you on August 6. #TheSuicideSquad pic.twitter.com/HdqlGVP0lB

— James Gunn (@JamesGunn) March 26, 2021

Suicide Squad 2

Aug. 6, 2021

David Ayer going to be too busy with other projects until further notice, and none other than James Gunn (of Guardians of the Galaxy fame) has stepped in to write and direct Suicide Squad 2. This is now called The Suicide Squad, which indicates something of a soft reboot, but expect this to remain a DCEU movie.

The cast is positively bonkers.

Returning from the first film we have Viola Davis as Amanda Waller, Jai Courtney as Boomerang, Joel Kinnaman as Rick Flagg, and of course Margot Robbie as Harley Quinn Scheduling issues forced Will Smith to bow out of the project as Deadshot.

But then that new cast is wild! John Cena is Peacemaker, with Idris Elba as Bloodsport, David Dastmalchian will play Polka Dot Man. Daniela Melchor will play a genderswapped version of Batman villain Ratcatcher…and there’s more, including Sylvester Stallone as the voice of King Shark! We have a full breakdown of the cast right here.

Pandemic be damned, this one arrives on HBO Max AND in theaters simultaneously, so that August release date isn’t going anywhere.

The Batman

March 4, 2022

So, speaking of movies that had their release dates shifted because of the coronavirus pandemic, The Batman recently had to move from June to October of 2021 after its filming was put on hold fairly early on, and now it has had to vacate its October release slot for March of the following year, thanks to the aforementioned Dune reschedule, and also another production halt after star Robert Pattinson was diagnosed with Covid-19. Fortunately, principal photography has wrapped and this is now well on its way to meeting that release date!

The Batman solo movie has Matt Reeves as director. Robert Pattinson is the new Batman. Not only that, this movie will likely kick off a brand new trilogy of Batman movies. Expect a more low-key, detective focused approach to the Dark Knight than we’ve seen in previous movies.

Read more

Movies

New Batmobile Revealed for The Batman Movie

By Joseph Baxter

TV

The Actors Who Have Played Batman

By James Aquilone and 1 other

In addition to Pattinson as Bruce Wayne/Batman, Jeffrey Wright will play Commissioner Gordon. Jayme Lawson has a mystery role. Andy Serkis is Alfred Pennyworth. And then there are the villains to contend with! The Batman will feature an all-star rogues’ gallery of villains, with Paul Dano as the Riddler, Zoe Kravitz as Catwoman, and Colin Farrell as the Penguin.

DC Super Pets

May 20, 2022

OK, fine, this isn’t a DCEU movie project, and it’s an animated movie. But unless you have no soul, how can you resist Krypto, Streaky, Ace, Comet, and the rest of the amazing super pets? They had better be fighting the Brain Globes of Rambat in this movie, otherwise, we riot.

You can read more about DC Super Pets here.

Black Adam

July 29, 2022

Originally slated to be the villain of Shazam, Black Adam will instead be played by Dwayne Johnson in a solo movie. The character is certainly strong enough to sustain his own movie. Adam Sztykiel (Due Date, Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul) is writing with��Jaume Collet-Serra set to direct. 

Read more

Movies

Shazam: Who is Black Adam?

By Marc Buxton

Movies

Black Adam Powers and Abilities Explained

By Mike Cecchini

This is the kind of thing that could work as a nifty prequel to further flesh out the mystical world of Shazam if they choose to go that route. More importantly, this movie will feature the DCEU introduction of the Justice Society of America, including Aldis Hodge as Hawkman, Pierce Brosnan as Dr. Fate, Quintessa Swindell as Cyclone, and Noah Centineo as Atom Smasher!

We’re currently on the lookout for more info, but Black Adam is supposed to start filming in early 2021, which seems unlikely at this time because of the global coronavirus pandemic. This film had been scheduled for December of 2021, but lost that date with all of WB’s recent release date shuffles. It’ll happen, it’s just a question of when.

You can read a little more about the Black Adam movie here.

The Flash

Nov. 4, 2022

Andy Muschietti (of Warner Bros’ IT movies) is the latest director to try and get The Flash movie to the screen. This project has had a really rough road. Christina Hodson, who clearly made the studio happy with her Birds of Prey script, is writing.

Read more

Movies

Why James Wan Turned Down The Flash Movie to Make Aquaman

By Mike Cecchini

Movies

Crisis On Infinite Earths Confirms DCEU Movies With Ezra Miller Cameo

By Kayti Burt

Ezra Miller will reprise his Justice League role as Barry Allen. Kiersey Clemons is Iris West. Ron Livingston will play Barry’s father, Dr. Henry Allen (replacing Billy Crudup who played the role in Justice League). But here’s where things get crazy…Ben Affleck will return to the role of Batman for this movie. And Michael Keaton will ALSO return to the role of Batman for this movie!

How is this possible? Because it’s based on the DC Comics Flashpoint story, which for the purposes of the movies will be used to create a big screen multiverse. Wow.

Oh, and it that’s not enough, this movie will introduce Supergirl to the DCEU, played by Sarah Calle!

This movie has had an extraordinary amount of trouble getting off the ground, so let’s see if the combination of Muschietti and Hodson keep this one on schedule for that release date. Or any release date. But pre-production is well underway, so it looks like Ezra Miller’s Barry will finally get his day in the sun.

Aquaman 2

Dec. 16, 2022

After it made a billion dollars at the box office, you bet your trident that Aquaman 2 is happening! Right now the plan is for James Wan to remain involved and start developing the movie, but he won’t decide whether or not to direct it until there’s a script in place. Fair enough. Patrick Wilson seems set to return, though, and of course, Jason Momoa will be back.

You can keep up with all our Aquaman 2 news right here.

Shazam 2: Fury of the Gods

June 2, 2023

Shazam 2 is now officially called Shazam: Fury of the Gods and…that’s about all we know about it right now.

One thing is for sure, though, this movie will retain the look, feel, and charm that made the first one so successful, since both director David F. Sandberg and writer Henry Gayden are returning. And this time we’ll have an entire Shazam family to help out!

Wait…did we mention the Sinbad cameo? No, really!

Now, let’s get into the projects that are in the works, but don’t have release dates yet. We’ve grouped these roughly in the order we expect to see them based on how far along they are.

Blue Beetle

There’s a Blue Beetle movie in the works. And unlike the character potentially appearing in the Booster Gold movie (more on that down below), this one would focus on Jaime Reyes, the magical tech powered teenage hero who wields the scarab of original Blue Beetle, Dan Garrett. Gareth Dunnet-Alcocer (Miss Bala) is writing the script, with Angel Manuel Soto (Charm City Kings) directing.

There’s no release date yet, but this is scheduled to begin production in fall 2021, so maybe we can pencil in a 2023 release date.

Read more about the Blue Beetle movie here.

Untitled Superman Project

Ta-Nehisi Coates is working on a Superman feature film with J.J. Abrams producing. No other info is currently available, but it appears to be a reboot.

“To be invited into the DC Extended Universe by Warner Bros., DC Films and Bad Robot is an honor,” Coates told Shadow and Act when the news was announced. “I look forward to meaningfully adding to the legacy of America’s most iconic mythic hero.”

Will this continue Henry Cavill’s time in the role, or will it take a new approach? Will this be a completely different take on the Man of Steel altogether? Time will tell!

Zatanna

One of the most powerful magicians in the DC Universe is getting her own film, with a powerful writer attached. Emerald Fennell, who wrote and directed the brilliant Promising Young Woman has signed on to write a Zatanna movie for Warner Bros. No other details are available at this time, but you don’t sign an Oscar hopeful for a movie like this unless you’re serious about getting it moving.

The New Gods

Ava DuVernay will direct a movie based on Jack Kirby‘s New Gods. It’s not clear yet whether this will fit into the continuity of the other DCEU movies, but really, it doesn’t need to. The New Gods is a cosmic story of such incredible scale that there’s no reason to try and connect this to earthbound concerns. Tom King, the DC Comics writer who has made waves with his work on the New Gods-centric (and Eisner Award-winning) Mister Miracle series, is co-writing the screenplay with DuVernay.

The New Gods is the story of two worlds, the warlike Apokolips and the peaceful New Genesis, each populated by immensely powerful beings with fantastic technology. Darkseid is the evil dictator of Apokolips, and he swaps sons with Highfather, the leader of New Genesis, and each child is raised on the opposite world. Darkseid’s son, Orion, becomes a troubled champion of New Genesis, while Highfather’s son (raised by Darkseid) revolts and becomes the super escape artist, Mister Miracle. This barely scratches the surface of what this movie is about. We tried to get into more detail about it here.

The Trench

Aquaman director James Wan and producer Peter Safran are working on developing other corners of Arthur’s world in addition to Aquaman 2. The Trench will focus on the terrifying piranha-like beasts seen briefly in the first film, and will be a smaller-scale, more horror-focused movie, and one that won’t feature any of the main characters from Aquaman. A different approach to superhero movie worldbuilding, for sure. Noah Gardner and Aidan Fitzgerald are writing.

Read more about The Trench here.

Supergirl

Oren Uziel is working on a script for a Supergirl movie. It’s not clear what kind of ties this will have to the currently dead Man of Steel franchise, especially given the uncertain state of Henry Cavill’s future as Superman.

But one thing is for sure, the DCEU does have their Supergirl! Sasha Calle will be introduced as Kara in The Flash movie, and presumably she’ll lead this one, as well.

Green Lantern Corps

Fairly or unfairly, Green Lantern has the most working against him. The 2011 film failed to kickstart the DC Universe as planned, and received a lukewarm (at best) critical and box-office reception. There are, of course, ways around this.

Read more

Comics

The Secret Origin of Green Lantern: Far Sector

By Kayti Burt

Comics

New Green Lantern Series Expands Cosmic DC Universe

By Jim Dandy

One way is to simply not make Hal Jordan the central Green Lantern of the movie. Thisone may focus on as many as three Green Lanterns, with the main focus on a kind of buddy/cop movie with John Stewart and Hal Jordan. Geoff Johns is writing the script, but there’s no director in place yet, however Johns should be turning in his script soon and that will allow the director search to kick off in earnest. There’s also the recent announcement of an HBO Max Green Lantern TV show to consider. It remains to be seen what (if any) connection that will have to this movie.

We have more details on the Green Lantern Corps movie right here.

Plastic Man

This one is a little further off in the future as all they’ve done is hire a writer. But there is definitely a Plastic Man movie in the works, with Amanda Idoko (ABC’s The Mayor) working on a screenplay. We have some more details on it right here.

Blackhawk

Steven Spielberg has long wanted to make a Blackhawk movie, and he’s finally going to get his wish. And if it was your wish to see Steven Spielberg direct a DC movie, you’re also in luck. David Koepp is writing the screenplay. We have more details on this one here.

Batgirl

Joss Whedon was originally supposed to write, direct, and produce the Batgirl movie, one that was reportedly based on Gail Simone’s recent New 52 take on the character. He has exited the project and now Christina Hodson is writing. There is no director at the time of this writing, and rumor has it that this will be a project set to go direct to HBO Max.

Deathstroke

Joe Manganiello has long been cast as Slade Wilson, known to DC fans as Deathstroke. He even made a cameo in one of the Justice League theatrical post-credits scenes back when that was supposed to set up a Justice League 2 that never happened. But it turns out that the original version of that cameo in Zack Snyder’s Justice League was meant to set him up as the villain of The Batman solo movie (that is no longer the case), 

Deathstroke was also once set to get a solo film, written and directed by The Raid‘s Gareth Evans. Despite Manganiello returning for a brief scene as Deathstroke in Zack Snyder’s Justice League, it doesn’t seem likely that his solo film is happening anymore, which is a real shame as he would have been great in the role.

Justice League 2

Justice League 2 isn’t likely to happen at the moment given how the first film underperformed at the box office. It once had a release date, but that long since evaporated. Still, “The Snyder Cut” generated considerable buzz on HBO Max, and featured a teaser scene that was very much meant as a preview for what the director was looking for in his dark vision of Justice League 2.

Nightwing

The Lego Batman Movie director Chris McKay has been tapped to direct a Nightwing movie. Bill Dubuque (The Accountant) is working on a script. No other details are currently available, and this one doesn’t have a release date yet.

Justice League Dark

At one time this was called Dark Universe, until Universal came along and ruined that name with their failed horror movie shared franchise. This one will feature the supernatural characters from the DC Universe. Characters like Swamp Thing, Demon, Deadman, Zatanna, and even John Constantine.

Guillermo del Toro was attached to this one for quite some time, but had to leave the project. Then it was Doug Liman. Now J.J. Abrams is involved as producer for what will likely be an HBO Max series.

And now for the long shots…projects mentioned, rumored, or that haven’t had any movement in a while.

Man of Steel 2

Never officially announced, with no director or writer ever attached…another solo Superman movie starring Henry Cavill seems pretty unlikely at the moment. Especially considering that Henry Cavill appears to be finished as Superman, there’s an excellent Superman & Lois TV series on the air, and the aforementioned movie in the works from Ta-Nehisi Coates.

Cyborg

OK, to be perfectly honest, the Cyborg movie almost certainly isn’t happening. Ray Fisher made his first (very brief) appearance as Vic Stone/Cyborg in Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice, and played a crucial role in Justice League. At one point he was supposed to feature in The Flash solo movie, too, but it’s not clear if that’s still the case.

Read more

Comics

New DC Universe History Begins in May

By Mike Cecchini

TV

Crisis on Infinite Earths Ending Reveals New DC Multiverse

By Mike Cecchini

Basically, though…let’s be completely real: this movie isn’t happening. There hasn’t been any movement on it in years, despite once having been assigned an April 3, 2020 release date. As far as we can tell there has been no additional movement on this movie in years. It’s probably dead. Too bad, since Ray Fisher was great in the role.

Harley Quinn

Yes, there’s also another Harley Quinn movie in development! Well, at least there was at one point. Whether this is a solo project or something else remains to be seen. Keep in mind that while very good, Birds of Prey didn’t set the world on fire at the box office, which means that Warner Bros. might be a little more wary than before about additional solo projects for Harley, even with Margot Robbie’s star power. As for what shape this movie was supposed to take in the first place, your guess is as good as ours!

Gotham City Sirens

David Ayer is looking to direct a Harley Quinn and friends “girl gang” movie. Geneva Robertson-Dworet is writing, with Margot Robbie producing. It’s not clear where this stands on anybody’s priority list these days. Ayer has moved on to other projects, and as mentioned above, Birds of Prey wasn’t quite the financial success that Warner Bros. had hoped for. It’s possible that Gotham City Sirens has been put in a drawer for the time being.

Booster Gold

Flash and Arrow executive producer Greg Berlanti is going to executive produce and possibly direct a Booster Gold movie. Zack Stentz (Thor, X-Men: First Class) will write the script.

Read more

Movies

Men of Steel: 11 Actors Who Have Played Superman

By Mike Cecchini

Movies

Joker: 6 Actors Who Have Played the Clown Prince of Crime

By David Crow

Early reports described this as a “superhero buddy cop movie” that would involve Blue Beetle. We’ll get you more updates on this as they become available, but keep in mind there hasn’t been any movement on this in a long time, and the Jaime Reyes Blue Beetle movie is probably taking priority for the studio.

Deadshot

Warner Bros. knows they have one of the biggest stars in the world already in costume, so they’re reportedly considering a Deadshot solo movie, as well. But with Smith now having left Suicide Squad 2 this project seems like it may not ever materialize. Unless, of course, switching Idris Elba’s role (he was originally intended as Smith’s replacement as Floyd) means they’re keeping the door open for him down the road.

Lobo

The Lobo movie may attempt to be the DCEU movies’ equivalent of Deadpool. Jason Fuchs must have impressed Warner Bros. with his work on Wonder Woman, because he’s on board to write the script for this one. Michael Bay might direct. But with Lobo appearing on Krypton season 2 and a TV series for the character that had once been put into development (but is probably dead), this might be less of a priority for the studio now.

We have some more info on the project here.

Joker & Harley Quinn Movie

At one point there was yet another Joker-centric flick in the works. This one, a Joker and Harley Quinn movie is absolutely part of the DCEU movie continuity would pick up where Suicide Squad left off. There are currently no additional details available on this one, either. This probably won’t happen, however.

Warner Bros. is very happy with how their R-rated, out of continuity Joker movie performed both critically and commercially, and with Joaquin Phoenix’s Oscar win, it’s a safe bet that they’re at least quietly hoping to make him their definitive Clown Prince of Crime for the foreseeable future…even though Joker was never intended to be part of the DCEU.

Not to be confused with…

Jared Leto Joker Movie

Honestly, we’re having trouble keeping track of all these, but yes, there was also yet another Joker solo movie in development focusing on Jared Leto’s version of the character in the works at one point. Apparently, this has long been canceled, but we’re keeping it here to be safe for a little longer.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

We’ll keep updating this with more information about upcoming DC superhero movies as they get announced and information becomes available.

The post Upcoming DC Movies: Complete Release Calendar appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3buqIKf

[pompcoco]

Harold Mews Character Analysis

(Authors note: This essay was made for fun and to educate people more on Mews and my analysis on him. I will be stating and summarizing many facts that some people might not know about Mews because the website I will be mentioning in this essay can only be found from a link in Mews’ page in the Poptropica Wiki. He has lots of information and character to him that the team and creators of Poptropica probably might’ve given without realizing, but honestly, it was good that they did. This will be a long read, so it’s ok to skim through or just read the conclusion and TLDR at the end. Otherwise, I hope you enjoy!)

              Harold Mews is the eccentric millionaire that hosts the contests on Cryptids Island and aids you during your quests to find the cryptids. But during the time on the island, you don’t get to know Mews unless if you pay attention to his dialogue or what other NPCs say about him. There are multiple things you can learn about him from his wiki, an archived website of the Mews Foundation that was created to promote Cryptids Island in the times of its release, and the Cryptids Island Book. In this essay, I will go in-depth on Mew’s character and how he is one of the most developed characters in the Poptropica universe.

           (What we learn from the game)

Mews is the first main character of Cryptids the player first hear about in the game. The player also learns that he is giving one million dollars to get proof of four very well-known cryptids. And before his introduction, you learn from NPCs from the rest of the island that he hides in his mansion, and the public has not seen him in years. He saves you from Gretchen after she nearly drowns you, and comments on how she is a cheater and will do anything to get the prize money. He mentions that he’s always had a fascination for cryptids ever since he was young and wants to prove that their there. When you give him invalid evidence, he doesn’t get angry at you and still believes in you. He provides the helicopter, the motorcycle in New Jersey, and the lab for the contest. And in the end, he wants to create a shelter for Bigfoot but won’t have enough money and will be broke until the player in the script gives up the money prize. From this, we can see that he is a kind man who has a passion for monsters and the unknown to the point of trying to prove their existence, but at the same time is considerate of their safety and does not try to put them in a zoo, unlike Grimlock.

           (From the Website)

           Mews has a biography that can be found in his wiki, sourced from the archived Mews Foundation website. This article explains he was well raised and came from a humble, hardworking family, inherited his family company, and turned it into a big success, Mews Corporation. He had always been adventurous and spent his free time in nature and on adventures. Examples include him riding the Great Booga Shark from Shark Tooth island and challenging Hermes, a literal god, in a ski race, in which he won. Mews, in the Poptropica universe, could’ve been one of the first people to climb Mt. Everest, but left the climber party to follow tracks he believed belonged to the Yeti. He did not find anything, but it made him realize his passion for discovering and researching cryptids. This dream of his was set in mind as years after this event; he retires from Mews Corp to creating the Mews Foundation. Their goal is going beyond scientific boundaries and show proof of cryptids.

From the website itself, it gives more detail of what the Foundation does from the News section. The Foundation does not just do research and expeditions, but they also provide and help the public. They showcase this by supporting and giving hair growth products for the people who turned bald in Spy Island. Despite their charitable acts and innocent goal, Mews and his Foundation have mixed publicity. For example, Mews was accused of helping build Dr. Hare’s Rabbot because Hare had used a navigational device that was developed by Mews Corp. Despite the accusation, a spokesperson of Mews, Cheerful Spinner, defends him and his company by mentioning that they defiantly did not have any involvement with Dr. Hare as well as the fact that adventurers use Mews tech and devices in a daily bases with their blimps. And when the announcement came up for the contest, Spinner comments that it is to stop the negative publicity that the Foundation has.

  (From the Book)

           In the book, it shares more characteristics of Mews. He has the habit of rambling about his adventures, which the main character in the placement of the player, Anne, notes that he is known to do. At the beginning of the story, Anne’s mom adds the fact that Mews does have a negative reputation for others by mentioning he is a “reclusive nut.” More on people’s opinions of him are in the book, but he does still has the humbleness and dislike of Grimlock from the game. For example, he’s sympathy for Anne when Grimlock steals their proof of the cryptids and also tells Anne that Grimlock is the only actual monster that actions should be put in a museum and should be long extinct. (Dang he really roasted her there it’s such a good quote) He also shares his story of seeing Bigfoot at a young age that either adds or is an alternative event to the Yeti search that stricken Mews interest for cryptids.  

           (Analysis)

           From what has been given here, Mews is a man with the lifetime passion of proving the existence of cryptids, and despite being an old eccentric millionaire, he is still very to others and is very grounded and still has an adventurous spirit. A question that still is not answered or explained is Mews’ disappearance from the public and becoming more reclusive and private. There are multiple reasons that could explain his actions. One, he could just be working from home for the Foundation and wants to keep some of his research there, for example, the Cryptid Museum that is set up in his own home, private. Or two, he’s just tired. He’s had a busy life and wants more privacy and rest, especially with his status. And to why he created the contest all of a sudden after years of not being public is unknown. It could be because of the idea of him not proving the existence of cryptids as his life goes by broke him because he had been searching for years, and he was so sure that they existed. He might’ve been scared that everything he had worked for could be for nothing, so he began the contest without hesitation because he wanted all the help he could get to prove his dream to come true, but that wouldn’t go without consequences.

Despite his good intentions and character, he does have flaws. One flaw is that he has is that he is impulsive. He created the contest without any set rules or guidelines that could’ve made the contest safer and less messy. Mews also seemed to know Grimlock before this and knew her means to get what she wanted and could’ve prevented her from getting involved with the contest and hurting the other contestants. Mews is generous, but that is a flaw of his as well. His Foundation was funded from his pocket. He is a millionaire, but there is a limit to spending even with the amount he had. The Foundation website bio stated that they had been around for more than ten years, and they don’t take donations, meaning he had been providing the Foundation for years. Still, he would eventually become almost broke also as well as the Foundation because they did not earn money from their discoveries and expeditions. The inevitability of the Foundation’s lose in money is shown in a News article on the website, where it is briefly mentioned that the expedition leader of the failed Mongolian Death Worm search, Cuddly Fly, was told he would not be paid for the trip due to legal reasons. And as we all know at the end of the contest, Mews tells the player that he’d love to make a sanctuary for Bigfoot, but once he gives away the million, he’s broke due to spending everything on the contest and it being the last drop of money he has from the years of funding his Foundation.  

 Harold Mews is probably one of the most thought out characters in Poptropica. Even if the website was promotional for Cryptids Island, it gives a lot of details and information about Mews and his Foundation, their reputation, and slowly lose money. The book is also very good at showing his personality with his kindness, persistence, quirkiness, and rambles. Many Poptropica NPCs, especially if their not villains, are overlooked because they don’t have much lore or depth given to them due to the storyline of islands and how the player is usually given quests by NPCs and does most of the work. But Mews proves to be not just a normal NPC that makes you do all the work; he is an actual friend to the player by showing them much gratitude, patience, and really helps throughout this island.

 TLDR; Mews is a cool character, and there’s a lot of things about him. He did a lot of things adventurous things in his life and threw away his life in business to go to his true calling and passion for Cryptids. He is kind and generous, but he has flaws since he started the contest without rules that led it to be pretty chaotic if you think about it as well as he ends up broke by the end because of the contest as well as the years of funding his Foundation by himself with no donations and no profit from it.

(Sourses)

Mews wiki

Mews Foundation Website on Wayback Machine (if this link doesn’t work its on the Mews wiki)

Crytpids Island Book you can get on Amazon!

[musical-veebs]

So it's kind of shameful that I haven't made a post about Snow White Blood's first EP, Once Upon a Fearytale, but if I say 2020 happened I hope you'll understand. The super short version is that I rather enjoy it (check out Lullaby for the Undead if you're impatient and just want one song), and I've been looking forward to a full album ever since I heard it. The good news is that it's finally coming out in about a month from when I'm writing this, and the first song from it was just released (which is what this post links to).

Quick thoughts before I get sidetracked: Snow White Blood does fairy tale-inspired symphonic metal, and they do it well. It doesn't quite manage to stick to the more traditional versions of the stories (ask your favorite folklorist all about it), but it's still fun what they do with them. The singer, Ulli Perhonen, is pretty great and why I know of the band in the first place, but I'm also a fan of what they do with the instrumental parts. This song, Shared Hearts, is based on Snow White and Rose Red (no, not that Snow White, the other one), which was an interesting choice because I suspect the reason most people heard about the band in the first place was that Ulli Perhonen did guest vocals on the Blackbriar song...wait for it...Snow White and Rose Red. The two songs take it in different directions though, and I like both. The singers feel better matched in this one though...Ulli really outshines Zora Cock in the Blackbriar one. Zora's pretty good and I like her on her own in some songs, but she doesn't really have the power to match Ulli. I feel like Lilly Seth's voice and singing in this one complements hers better.

Uh, anyway, Blackbriar is fine in general even if not usually my thing, and Snow White Blood is great, and Ulli Perhonen is a highlight of whatever she's involved in, and they both did songs about the sisters Snow White and Rose Red, and they're both pretty good. Go listen to them. And stuff.

Ok, now that that's out of the way...

I caught the premiere of Shared Hearts because I just kind of happened to be looking at the time, and it took a little adjusting at first because I'd just been listening to Fearytale again. Once I got into it though I ended up putting it on repeat for like half an hour and spent most of that time Having Feelings (including crying) about my own sister and our relationship.

[oops I got sidetracked for a few hours by being very tired, but now I'm back...hi!]

Where was I? Right, so...I've gotten the impression over the years that my relationship with my little sister when we were growing up was not typical. So many people have told me stories about how much they fought with their siblings or just were indifferent and didn't have much in common, but the two of us were pretty close in age and always got along really well. Not quite as intense as in this song, but there was a reason strangers sometimes thought we were twins. We weren't like best friends or anything, and we were definitely capable of driving each other nuts sometimes (especially me...sorry about that), but we were always close and got along with each other and each other's friends and spent a pretty decent amount of time together. I knew lots of people who couldn't survive ten minutes together in the car to go get ice cream or something, while we managed ten hours with no problems to go visit family.

We were remarkably well behaved and could keep each other entertained with silly games or songs or making up stories about the shark-infested forest or whatever. Back then I was more of the smart, nerdy one and I always thought she was the cool one, but as we've both gotten older it's pretty clear that she's a huge nerd too, just in a less stereotypical way, and I might be a bit cooler than I gave myself credit for. She's also super smart and has done a frankly intimidating number of different things, not just for her age but for anyone. And it's funny because back when we were both in school she was the more social one, while I was the one who was single until my mid-20s, and I was more known as the academic one. Now she's the one who went to grad school while I was too busy being disabled and never finished high school, but she's had more bad luck with relationships than anyone deserves and I'm very happily living my best queer, poly life with a bunch of wonderful people. Go figure.

And I say all this and could go on at length for a while longer, and people could tell you I bring her up in conversation fairly regularly and have plenty of nice things to say about her, but...

After she moved away for school we gradually drifted apart. Even though she lives a couple miles away again at this point now that she's done with it we still hardly ever talk. We get along fine when we do, but we're both such different people at this point that I never even feel sure how to talk to her, much less what to talk about. I'm so worn out all the time from just existing that I never get around to figuring out what to do about that. And I think this song may have just given me the push to do it anyway. Maybe I'll mention some of the stuff I said in here. Maybe I'll just send this to her. Who knows? It's about time to do something though. I only have one sister, and I lucked out and got a pretty great one, and she deserves better from me if I can manage...

[hello-akprince]

Online Dating - What Men Don't Want to See in Your Profile

Dating apps - the modern way to date. Media portrayal of "when dates go wrong" has taken isolated incidents and made them the norm, so the likelihood of meeting somebody in a bar and starting something new is now very small. People just don't trust each other.

Dating apps make dating safe and easy. Scrolling through profiles and choosing whether you like them or not has never been easier. It's like shopping for your soulmate and you get an entire aisle to pick one from. All of them are different in their own way, but a lot are the same in many ways too.

I have been using dating apps for over a year, have had my own degree of success, but am now just using them to people watch and for entertainment - yes that's right, entertainment! I use Plenty of Fish, Tinder and Bumble. Let's explain a little about each one first:

• Plenty of Fish (or PoF) - this is the most complex of the three. You input a lot of information about yourself, likes and dislikes, what you are looking for and personality, there is even a "Chemistry Test" to complete for compatibility (although I am yet to see a profile with this completed). You then add photos of yourself, in the hope of attracting that one person, and write a detailed "About me" description. You are shown photos of potential matches in your area and when you click on them you are taken to their profile. There is then lots of information allowing you to decide whether or not to make contact. PoF also has a "Meet Me" section, which is a quick swipe where you decide based on one photo whether or not you would like to meet somebody - this is however a paid section and as such nobody uses it! • Tinder - this is the famous dating app, where users swipe left or right depending on whether they like the look of the person in the photograph. Right for yes and left for no. Tinder allows you to view all of their profile photos, which can range from 1 to 8 images. If you like the look of the person and want to learn more, then you can tap on the bottom of the photo for their description - some people use it and others don't. When a match occurs, the onus is generally on the male to make initial contact • Bumble - this dating app is similar to Tinder, but laid out differently. On Bumble, the user scrolls up page by page to view details of the person that they are looking at and their additional images, but like Tinder it's a left or right swipe depending on whether you are attracted to that person. Unlike Tinder, when a match occurs, the onus is on the female to make the first move, in fact the male cannot send the first message and the lady has just 24 hours to send that first message. If you particularly like your match then you can use a function to extend that 24 hours to 48 hours.

Click Here For Dating Tips For Women & Men

All sounds very complicated, but it really isn't. I have found that the best "quality" ladies use Bumble, then Tinder and bottom of the pile are users of PoF. Bumble users tend to be professionals who enjoy "the finer things in life and world travel", Pof users are less likely to be professionals and mostly enjoy "watching tv, going to the pub and family time".

I have decided to write this, with a view to pointing out, from a man's perspective, why the women on these apps become unattractive, despite how they may look. I also want to point out where women have their information wrong, when it comes to the male users of these apps. I know some men do not read the description that is painstakingly laboured over and go purely on looks, but there are many female users who do exactly the same thing.

PROFILE DESCRIPTION

Let's look at how the profile is viewed when read.

There are many ways that profiles are written and the majority are very negatively composed, others are amusing and others are very sensitively and intelligently put together.

By "negatively composed", I mean that they are an endless diatribe of why the user is hacked off with dating apps and men in general and what a potential match shouldn't do, shouldn't say in the first message and a very tight description of how they should look! They use phrases such as "just jog on" if a user is looking for something particular such as "one night stands", "a skinny supermodel" or even "doesn't like children". These are all things that put a potential match off when they read your profile - it comes across as aggressive and being written by somebody with "attitude" and a dislike of men in general... I mean if you dislike men so intensely then why are you looking for one?

Click Here For Dating Tips For Women & Men

Sizeism is rife - I once read one lady's profile and it simply read:

"What do you call a man under 6 feet tall? A friend"

How is this conducive to finding a match? OK it made me smile, but also made me realise what I was facing - I am 5 feet 8 inches and in the dating game, considered a "short a**e" and therefore not worthy of a date. Why limit your options to finding a good man, who can satisfy your every requirement, because he is an inch or two shorter than you when you have your heals on? It all seems to be about appearance, which immediately is a left swipe for me, because it shows how shallow these "beauties" are. "I want to wear heals when I go out and therefore this adds 4 inches to my actual height of 5 feet 3 inches" - oh so you are actually a "short a**e" too then?

Here is a quote from another profile. This one belonged to an attractive woman of 52 who was 5 feet 2 inches and looking for somebody of a similar age:

"Must be over 5 foot 10 (as I like to wear heals) and have a full head of dark hair".

I thought, honey if he's reached 50 plus and he still has a full head of hair he's done well, but if it's still dark then he's using Grecian! If I wrote a similarly specific profile description and said, for example, "Must be a size 8 to 10, 34 BB and have red curly hair" I'd be shot on sight and get ignored by every woman who came into contact with my profile for being a misogynist! And it would probably be screen shot and shared around social media.

Clichés are another overused medium in Profile Descriptions - two of my absolute no-no's are "looking for my partner in crime" and "love to travel abroad and in the UK".

Looking for your "partner in crime"? Well I have no desire to help you bump off your ex, dismember him and scatter him around the county! I work in prisons, but have no desire to actually reside in one, thank you very much! LEFT SWIPE!

Click Here For Dating Tips For Women & Men

So you like travelling and holidays abroad and in the UK? I think that goes without saying, we ALL do! The fact that you mention it in your profile, for me, means one of two things. Either you could not think of anything interesting to write in your profile and thought "travelling" made you sound interesting or mysterious, OR you are looking for a partner who will whisk you away somewhere warm and sandy 3 or 4 times a year! LEFT SWIPE! I once called somebody out on this, we matched and I asked her "I see you like travel, what's the nicest place you've ever been to?" She replied "Scotland." I asked "No outside the UK". Her response "Oh, I've never been abroad, but really would like to; maybe we could go somewhere together." So you want me to take you abroad, because you can't or won't take yourself? Yet her profile stated that she liked to travel abroad.

Ladies complain that they feel their profiles go unread, but given the amount of profiles that I have read which are written in this way, there is no wonder that men don't bother reading them. I can now quite accurately predict, just from a photograph, whether a profile is written in this way.

The other thing that puts me off potential matches is "attitude" in a profile - when a profile is worded in a way that is aggressive towards potential matches. Many profiles are worded in a way that aggressively states what the person is looking for, what a match should and should not have in their profile photos, what a match should and should not behave like, how they should word their contact message etc., these profiles usually end with the words "if this is you then 'jog on'." I hate this expression.

If you are writing a profile, ladies, and you want to attract a potential mate, then tell us about yourself, put some effort into it. Make us smile, grab our attention. Don't, don't, DON'T use clichés, or drone on at inordinate lengths about how bad men are, or Tinder in general is; listing your assumptions about how men are all after one thing, hung up on their ex, or married. These things just make you sound like Eeyore talking politics and nobody dates a donkey!

PHOTOS

The profile picture is the first impression - it's the thing that makes us decide if we wish to delve deeper into this person's profile. In which case why put your profile image as a meme, a black screen, a photo of your kids, a photo of a landscape or a really close up photo of your eye? Really? Am I going to look at the rest of your pictures? Erm... no! As for my last example: is your profile a jigsaw, do I have to print off each photo in order to build a composite of your face?

There are a few things not to do when deciding which photos to include in a profile:

Click Here For Dating Tips For Women & Men

• Don't use filters, ESPECIALLY Snapchat filters - if I want to see you with bunny ears, then I will buy you some, and if I want to see you with stars around you I will bang my head on something solid! These filters do not give an accurate representation of you and most of the time make you look scarily gruesome! When I meet you, I won't recognise you and when I finally do see through all of the wrinkles, I may feel the need to iron your face and make you wear the rabbit ears and shiny red nose that I bought along with me to make you actually look like your profile picture! • Pouting - NO! Some of you look like a puffer fish trying not to kiss a shark's backside! Just smile and be natural - show me the sparkle in your eyes and the smile that makes the sun jealous. • Skiing Photos - women complain that men's photos always show them holding a fish (you would be surprised how many women have photos like this - you CANNOT describe yourself as an animal lover and stand there holding a suffocating fish) or standing by their car or motorbike. Well in my experience 75% of the female profiles I have visited show a photograph of them on the slopes leaning on their skis or something similar. We do not wish to see you in skiing goggles, hat, scarf, gloves, skiing overalls, big boots etc. All we can see is your red nose and all we can imagine is the copious amounts of snot you were trying to snivel up it, in order to have the photo taken without it running down and over your top lip onto your cashmere scarf! • Tongue - Please do not upload a photo of you sticking out your tongue, especially if you are over 50. It just isn't attractive in the slightest. I guess ladies think that it makes them look playful and fun, maybe even mischievous. It really doesn't, it just makes me think that you ran out of photograph ideas • Blurry Images - Given modern technology and the age of the selfie being upon us, there is zero excuse for the photos on your profile to be photos of old photographs or blurry in any way shape or form. They do not allow us to see what you look like • Face Only - Please do not give me 8 photos of your head, from pretty much the same angle! I get what you look like after the first 2 or 3. I want to see more - show your personality in them, your style, show me what you like to do in your spare time (except skiing for obvious reasons) - it's amazing what can be hidden when all that you are seeing is a face. Show me you in different clothes and at different times of the day - do not show me photos of yourself in different outfits in front of the same mirror, with the outfit that you were in in the previous image lying on the bed behind you or in a heap around your feet! • Cheesy Puffs - Specific example here of what not to do. This particular (large - I think BBW is what they refer to themselves as) lady thought that it was attractive to place a photograph of her sitting in a plastic chair on her patio, legs out in front of her, slippers on, fag in one hand and an oversized packet of cheesy puffs in the same hand, her other hand shoving a handful of said cheesy puffs into her mouth! Hmmmm, NOT attractive in the slightest!

The things people do! And then they wonder why they are having little or no success. Many will even combine all of these things into one profile.

My profile has a variety of photographs, all taken recently, in different places, doing different things and in different forms of attire. One photo in particular got me a great deal of abuse from a few women. It is a photograph of me and a horse, I'm sure that I have no need to explain the quantity of female profiles that I have come across where they are pictured with a horse! Apparently the fact that I am shown with a horse who had buried his head in my chest upon our first meeting, shows me to be weak and feeble and not a man at all; I was told that it was not manly, was unattractive and "wimpish". One woman really went to town on me about it, in a very abusive way, and it was really quite upsetting, but in essence shows the sort of person that she is and many others are on these sites.

CONCLUSIONS

Click Here For Dating Tips For Women & Men

Lots of ladies are looking for a gentleman, who is attentive, compassionate, caring etc., but when they get one, you discover they are actually attracted to bad boys and find that they think you have some kind of ulterior motive because you are "too nice!" No, I am just being who I am - a genuinely nice guy and a gentleman who wants to treat you right.

Another reason for the above, of course, is that these women have been treated so badly by other men, that they do not believe they deserve the right to have somebody actually be nice to them. This really saddens me, that many men treat women in this way, which gives women the impression that this is normal and being treated properly is not. I had one match who took advantage of me being nice, to the point where I found myself paying her household bills as I felt sorry for her. I had another who was convinced I was a really nasty narcissist, using incredibly complex psychological games to entrap her, when all I was doing was being genuinely kind and caring towards her because that is who I am and who I was brought up to be. She could not find a box to put me in, based on her past experiences, and consequently I was told it was over.

My experience and the matches that I have dated have, unfortunately, led me to conclude that the majority of us who use dating apps are, in some way or other, "damaged", usually psychologically, by some incident in our life or experience with past partners. This therefore hinders our ability to "relationship" normally and consequently leads to us repeating cycles that ensure we remain in. To think that at some point in the future, every person in the modern world will have been on a dating app at some point in their lives!

Statistics actually show this to be true - they show that twice as many single people (compared to married people) suffer from mental illness, with single women being twice as likely as single men to suffer from severe psychological disorders. Showing that the majority of women on dating apps (at least two thirds of them) are completely bonkers! You have at best a 1 in 3 chance of dating a decent woman (women your chance is 2 out of 3 for dating a decent guy) - therefore for every 3 women I am matched with, only one is not suffering because of her past, if I am lucky.

All of that said, women are definitely the controllers where on line dating is concerned. They have the upper hand in what is acceptable for them to put in their profiles and photos. A guy doing the same sort of thing would end up having his profile reported a number of times and considered insulting or offensive for his wording. Women can state exactly what they are looking for even down to height, hair colour, facial hair etc. - a man doing that would be considered as an "AVOID". Apparently women can write whatever they like, regardless of how offensive it is - again, a man would not get away with this. It seems people forget that they are trying to attract somebody who will like them and want to go out with them and at some point, presumably, enter into a relationship with them.

own view on the whole profile thing is: honest images, that show not just my face but my whole clothed body, in clothes I like to wear and regularly do, in places that I like to visit. In terms of description, I describe myself and my personality honestly and succinctly and am honest about what I enjoy doing. I've been told that all of this makes me stand out from the crowd, but because it is so different to most male profiles it makes it look suspicious to potential matches! How ridiculous, that an honest profile can create suspicion amongst a myriad of fake ones, or rather people being insincere about who they are.

Due to everything I've detailed here, I have decided to limit my use of dating apps to "fun" only - by which I do not mean one night stands or any such shenanigans - that is people watching and entertaining myself, trying to guess from the initial image what the person will say about themselves and how their profile will read. I have also come to the conclusion that the majority of profiles are just people looking the way they think will attract the opposite sex, in terms of both images and description. I think many of the images are staged specifically for the dating app and that the description of self is worded using "commonalities" that are identifiers when searching for a compatible match.

During my research for this piece, I did speak to people who had matched on dating sites and found the love of their life. I spoke to more, however, who had trusted in dating apps for years (7 years is the longest anybody I spoke to had continuously been using these apps) and had no success at all. So it can be successful, but only for a very small minority of people.

I have decided to match the organic way, i.e. the meeting of minds and physicality that comes from a natural meeting somewhere, by chance, be it at a park or a bar or some such. Using dating apps just causes you to force the issue, when in reality it should happen naturally and in its own time. If it doesn't happen, then at least I have known true love, which unfortunately ended due to terminal illness. I am just going to get out and actually talk to people and if anything is meant to happen then it will. If not, then I will just enjoy my own company and continue to take myself on dates! Or I guess I could register as an escort and have the ladies pay me to take them on dates or better still on holidays abroad... certainly worth considering if all else fails!

I will leave you with one final thought, rather 'helpfully' provided by a friend who has been happily married for many, many years. He said "You should avoid the Supermarket Dating App. I've heard that you just end up with a 'bag for life'!"

Thank you for reading, I hope that you found this article of use.

Peace, light & love Click Here For Dating Tips For Women & Men

[millenniumpuzzle]

i see so much mcelroy stuff on tumblr but have 0 other knowledge besides what's on my dash, where would i even start on getting into their content?

ok so idk how long this ask has been in my inbox (idk if i got a notification for it?) but i will try to answer your question as best i can! if you want a short answer, i first watched their “monster factory” youtube series, and then fell into the rabbit hole, so i feel like “monster factory” is a pretty lighthearted way to get into their humor. additionally, the 6 episode “my brother, my brother, and me” tv show would also be a pretty chill way to be introduced to their whole deal. however, i feel like this question necessitates a longer answer, since their content is so diverse. the rest of that answer is under the read more. i am very sorry for how long it is. i mean, it’s seriously long. but i hope it helps (if you decide to read it)!

so the mcelroy family of products got its start, pretty much, through a podcast called “my brother, my brother, and me” (or mbmbam or short), which is a “comedy advice podcast” where the three mcelroy brothers, justin, travis, and griffin, “answer” listener questions and yahoo answers questions (also sent in by listeners), generally by taking the concept and making jokes about it. mbmbam has a very significant back library (like each episode is around an hour and they’re on episode 380 now), so what i have done is watch a lot of animations and bits people have isolated on youtube to get sort of a “greatest hits” if you will. some quality bits: “sleep jeans”, “glass shark”, “three deep on the window”, “SHRIMP! HEAVEN! NOW!”, and “hatsune miku”, among many many others. also, they made a 6 episode mbmbam tv series, which is free to watch on vrv.com! that’s a pretty light way to get into them tbh

another podcast the mcelroys do, which you’ve probably seen a lot of on your dash (especially from me, sorry), is “the adventure zone”. this is a podcast where justin, travis, and their dad clint mcelroy play dungeons and dragons, guided by griffin, the dm. now idk what you’ve seen, but i bet at least some of it discusses how emotional and heart-wrenching it is. however, if/when you click play on episode 1, you’re gonna be like “huh? this is the emotional shit they’re talking about?” but trust me, it gets better as it goes on. it also gets better as it goes in terms of representation! again, it starts out pretty basic, very male-heavy, but as the series continues, the amount of female characters increases exponentially, and there’s some good lgbt representation as well, including at least 2 canon gay relationships and a trans woman main character! so if you like fantasy adventure that’s honestly pretty light on the fantasy sometimes, and getting emotionally involved with a group of characters who call themselves “tres horny boys”, then this is the podcast for you.

finally, i’ll touch on their youtube endeavors at polygon. polygon is a video game journalism website where both justin and griffin work, and this website also has a youtube channel that uploads some humor/let’s play (ish) content. justin and griffin both star in “monster factory”, which is a series where they create characters in video games that look ridiculous and create a fiction around them and play the games for a short period of time, often using mods or console commands to fuck the games up in addition to the characters. monster factory was my introduction to the mcelroys, and if you’d like a lighthearted way to ease into their humor, this is a good start. some good episodes: the fallout 4 series, their “second life, second chances” series (and the original second life episode), their spore series, and the black desert online episode. also, griffin has been the sole star of a couple very good series, including his pokemon y nuzlocke run, and his pacifist endeavors in world of warcraft called “peacecraft”

in addition, the mcelroys are involved in numerous other podcasts, which you can find (along with all their other works) at mcelroyshows.com!

again i can’t stress enough how sorry i am for the length of this response, but i feel like, with how different the stuff the mcelroys are involved in is, i needed to give a more detailed explanation of what everything is so that you could choose the mcelroy product that best fit your interests!

i really hope this helps you get into their content, or if you decide that it’s not for you, that’s fine too! if you have any more questions my ask is open!!

[noisykate]

Catching up with the blog...

Thunderball Grotto, Pigs on the beach…

10 March 2019

The delights of the Bahamas were slow to reveal themselves, but the last few days have been quite special.

We are now further south, in the Exumas. The waters are, as advertised, crystal clear and the most extraordinary colours, from inky blue-black (bottomless, open atlantic), to navy blue (deep) to a pale, iridescent, luminous emerald green (very shallow), through peacock turquoise and every shade of blue. In the sun, the pale emerald green reflects back to the underside of the clouds, changing the sky.

We found the swimming pigs on Pig Beach, and found them slightly bolshie, clearly used to fleecing food from (the many) visitors, and stalking off immediately once the food has gone. We donated two carrots, cut up small and placed in their feed troughs, as advised, and left them to it.  They keep pestering you until you show them your empty hands, then they just walk off. Hiding food in your pockets is not advised.

Thunderball Grotto was an unexpected delight – it was high tide when we arrived, and the current through the cave is strong, so the guide-led tourist hordes of non-swimmers stay away until the slightly more benign conditions which apply at low tide. We had this special place entirely to ourselves for nearly an hour. It is just an outcropping of rock, worn away from all sides into an open  honeycomb of tunnels and caves, so that there is now a large cave – perhaps 10m diameter- in the middle of the rock, with holes through to the water from each side, and to the sky above. In the sunlight, these transform the place into the most amazing light theatre, the sun shafting down from above, and up through the underwater holes to the outside. Swimming in is slightly daunting, with strong currents outside pushing you against the rock walls, and once inside you get swirled around a little, but – it is magical. Full of fish, although the coral has suffered from too many visitors.

And I saw a shark. I dropped off the dinghy for a little swim on the way back to the boat after the grotto, and there it was, about 7’ long, its nose wedged under a rock so it could sleep. It swam away.  Slightly disconcerting how close you can get to them before you spot them. Thankfully, it was a nurse shark, one of the more benign varieties.

The wind has (of course) been from the wrong direction for ages, and we are now against the clock to make distance south and east.  Making progress in the right direction means either (a) risking a grounding against the shallow sand banks of the ‘inside’ or (b) braving the wilder conditions and much bigger waves of the ‘outside’, the open atlantic. We took the inside route for a bit yesterday, and -of course- went aground, stuck solid, bouncing of the hard sand bottom until the tide floated us off. Impossible to judge the depth by eye – you can see pebbles on the bottom in 10m of water.

Later…

13 March 2019

Now in Georgetown, in the company of an anchored fleet of perhaps 300 boats, some of whom of course we know. Lots of americans, on the southern end of their excursion south for the winter. We are meeting up with Chris and CC later – we first meet them on the ICW, in the Dismal Swamp – they rescued us from the appalling NY cop who was in favour of the police being able to shoot anyone without having to account for it. They are down here on a friend’s boat – looking forward to catching up.

Also bumped into John and Sue off Dandelion, last met in Marsh Harbour – they are on the way back to the UK for a flying visit, after an exciting year around Brazil, getting as far as the Beagle Channel around Cape Horn, and the Falklands, which they loved. They plan to go straight back there as soon as they’ve dealt with some business at home, including fitting a diesel heater. Sounds amazing, and very tempting, but the logistics of it put it out of our reach.

It is raining at the moment; still plenty warm enough, but the winds strong enough to keep all but the resolute and time-pressed to stay in the harbour. There is better weather on Friday for heading slightly north of east, which is where we need to go.

Georgetown is a decent little place, much livelier and more interesting than Marsh Harbour, although that could easily be taken as damning with faint praise.

Snorkelling, then a drink at a lovely beach bar. Later, we went out for the evening with Chris and Helen off Tyee, to a bar with live music – great vibe, lots of noise, good music. Even got Mike dancing a bit.  Various musicians, hot-seating through a wide range of instruments, from the ubiquitous oil-can drum, to a timber saw, played with a screwdriver.

Mike is off the boat visiting somebody, I’m here making bread. Movie night later with Chris and Helen.

Internet here is pants, so no idea when this will get posted. I have been trying to ring family on Whatsapp but it is hopelessly broken and delayed, just a frustration.

Later still…

19 March 2019

Now in Clarence Town, on the southern end of Long Island. Another gorgeous emerald green bay, another tiny settlement pretending it is a ‘town’, still no internet.

Chris and Helen have left, heading east to go North around Haiti and the DR, as their insurer does not allow them to visit either place, or Cuba. We hope to meet up with them again on the south coast of Puerto Rico.

There is a posh marina here, catering to the large “sports fishing” boats, which means there is no swimming in the bay, because they clean their catch off the dock there, attracting sharks. We parked the dinghy there to go ashore. The splash from the stern anchor attracted them, half a dozen or so 4-8ft long, all circling the dinghy.  Also saw a 5ft tarpon and a 4ft barracuda circling round.

The marina is very small – space for perhaps 10 boats – but with the shore-based infrastructure (showers, toilets, restaurant, laundry, shop) for many more.  Far too expensive for us and most other cruisers at $2.70 or so per foot per night, all visiting boats anchor out.  The well-stocked shop offers a large range of comically overpriced good, such as baseball caps at $30, packet of biscuits (“cookies”) at $8. The US-registered “sports fishers” are ubiquitous in the Bahamas; some are based here, but many come over from Florida for the season, spend vast amounts in tightly limited hot-spots, with little of their money making its way into the local economy. Under way, they burn fuel at 200-1000 litres per hour, depending on their size and speed. That’s a metric tonne of fuel, per hour. Clearly not a poor-man’s hobby. They don’t seem to have received the memo about global warming.

Ashore, we had to find the immigration office, to ‘fess up that we had inadvertently overstayed our visas by a month. We were expecting a fine, and a wrist-slapping, but no, we were just calmly given a form to extend our visa, and told to backdate it. Bureaucracy at its shining best.

From there, we walked around a bit looking for the bakery. It is too hot for walking for pleasure, so we were pleased to find it at the top of a little hill overlooking the bay, nearer the boat. We chatted for a while with the owner – a lovely black Bahamian, who talked of the difficulties living on such a small island. Her daughter, who clearly had a serious medical problem, perhaps cerebral palsy, lay on a mattress on the floor with a view over the bay – she could have been anywhere from 6 to 20 years old, her limbs twisted and wasted.

The owner said that the illegal immigrants from Haiti and the DR get free health care in the Bahamas, while she has to pay for it.  The issue of health care, and who pays for it and how, is a truly universal problem, and it seems nowhere has it fully ‘cracked’. It is difficult to imagine the day-to-day problems dealing with such a disability, and what opportunities there might be – precious little. Mum is vastly overweight, which clearly brings its own problems. Living with that alone in this heat must be difficult.

We are -again- waiting for weather. There is a spell of ‘northers’ coming through, which will help us heading south. We have – reluctantly- given up on visiting Cuba. The delays in Marsh Harbour, and our slow progress since, have left us with no time.  I may have said that already. Very disappointing, but – maybe next time!

One useful outcome – the dinghy chaps (cover) was falling to bits, so we took it off and patched it. As usual, this tedious job was worse in the contemplation than the event, and the cover is now re-fitted with an orange stripe around the bump strip, made from a piece of tan sailcloth donated by Sarah when we set off. Took most of the day, both of us pulling and pushing at various bits of fabric and the machine, and much swearing. My little domestic sewing machine is not really man enough for these heavy fabrics, and kept breaking threads and skipping stiches. May donate it to someone in Haiti or the DR, and save up for a Sailrite.

26 March 2019

We waited for the promised weather to head south, and eventually did so in company with Dandelion. We stopped for a night in Little Harbour, just to the south. As with so many of these gorgeous little bays, the beach was littered with rubbish, and although inviting from afar, felt quite squalid close up. The entrance, on the way in, was ‘ok’: fairly flat, and a clear path through. When the time came to leave, it looked horrendous, huge waves breaking 5’ high all the way across. At high tide, these drop to a more manageable size, and we threaded our way out without difficulty. Dandelion’s radio message afterwards summed it up: “Changed your trousers yet?”.  Once past the narrow entrance, the sea state was fine.

From there, we headed south together, to the ‘Windward Passage’, the route through between Haiti and Cuba. Dandelion then headed right for Cuba, while we turned left to head along the south coast of Haiti and the DR, hoping that the more benign conditions here would allow us to motor-sail against the easterly trades. Shortly after turning the corner, our engine stopped. The lift pump, we think. So we are now plodding at 2-3kts along the entire southern coast of Hispaniola. 400 miles. That’s about 130 hours at 3 kts. 10 and a half days. Except we are tacking, so that makes the distance getting on for 800 miles. 21 days. That’s far longer than it took us to cross the Atlantic. Bored. Really, quite bored.

The only upside is a renewed appreciation of the epic voyagers of old, who explored these coasts making their own charts as they went, and boats unable to go to windward.

1 April 2019

We are in Barahona, a town on the south coast of the DR.

We rounded the point on the south of the island, and were gamely slogging north east in hopelessly light winds, making 1-2 knots, when another sailing boat hove into sight – first we have seen in days. Thankfully, “Mischief”, a Brazilian registered Moody 425, took pity on us and took us in tow and we made the last 40 miles in a mere 12 hours. It would have taken us 2-3 days on our own.

In the belief that our problem was the lift pump, we removed and cleaned said item, and refitted it, to find no improvement. Engine still wont start.

We spent a day hiking around Barahona trying to find a shop which stocked electric lift pumps. Eventually, we gave up and enlisted the help of a random stranger in the Ajuntament office, who in turn recruited a girl from upstairs who spoke “some English”. In fact, she has been to evening classes for 3 months, so her English is about as good as our Spanish. But we stuck with it, and the two of them drove us around town several times trying to locate the right part. A false dawn when they rocked up to a shop selling domestic generators, so our translation was clearly ‘off’, but we got there in the end. Sadly, though, the new lift pump was no more successful than the old one at getting the engine started.

The lovely Chester, a beautiful Honduran fisherman sharing a ride with an Aussie on another ‘project’ boat, spent the day in the engine bay, curled up in an implausibly small space which I cannot fit into, bleeding various pipes trying to sort out our problem. With some long-distance help from Mike’s mate Dave in the UK, we loosened and tightened various connections, trying to eliminate trapped air. We failed. The latest working hypothesis is that we may have stripped the drive on the pump, so we are now well outside the scope of our competence.

So, we are now in the little harbour awaiting Roberto, a local engineer, who allegedly knows about boat diesels.  The word “manyana” (cant find the squiggly ‘n’ sign) has cropped up several times. Hope it really does mean ‘tomorrow’.

We are safe here, the harbour is good, there are shops and banks nearby, and we have company in Steve and Chester, so it could be a lot worse. It could also be quite a lot better, as we are both deeply sick of breaking down, and both not at all keen on repeating our Marsh Harbour experience, an open-ended delay with no control over our own destiny.

1 April 2019

Perhaps not an auspicious day to go shopping for a new sim card so we can be in touch with the world without relying on the café, but we gave it a shot. After a 2-hour wait in the ‘Claro’ shop, with a huge crowd of patient locals, we ended up speaking to somebody who said, basically – yes its easy, but you have to come back tomorrow with your passport.

Now waiting for Roberto, and another man who took the washing away, promising its return at 2pm. Didn’t count the dirty pants before letting it all go, but I hope we get most of it back; our stash of clothes is looking thinner than it was.

The dinghy access to town is perhaps worth a mention – we can get out at the “marina”, but it is then a mile-long slog into town, and it is really too hot for that to be any fun. The only alternative is to tie up outside the port office, and scramble up the 6’ high dock over a tractor tyre. A bit of a game with a swell running, the dinghy dancing up and down by 2’. Getting better with practice, though. At least the water is nice and warm.

The books describe this place as a ‘busy port’, but we have been here several days now, and have yet to see a ship, other than the three permanently moored here, apparently abandoned.

6pm – in the bar again. I know, life is hard. Waiting for somebody to do something, not quite sure what. The engineer who diagnosed the injector pump problem is playing dominoes on the next table. No sign that he is intending to take the pump off tonight. Might be waiting for ‘Los Hondura’ to get back, because he is younger and thinner, and more bendy, and can perhaps get the thing out without dismantling the boat around it.

I managed to talk to some of the family via Whatsapp- miraculous, being able to talk from a beach café in a country like this, via the internet. Not perfect - quite a delay on the line, and it drops out every now and again - but fantastic even so. 

[abiteofnat]

2019 COME AT THE BUTTON ON MY HIGH-WAISTED JEANS

Because by the end of this week, I had eaten enough to question the strength of the stitches holding my pants together. 

This year has started off with some of the best meals a grandma shark could hope for, from steakhouses to creative cocktails, it’s all been wonderful. I still have not mastered the art of breakfast, or bringing lunch to work, or how to avoid being hangry all eight hours of work due to not fixing either of those aspects... but maybe 2020 can be the year I figure that out! The good thing about forgetting to eat the entire length of a workday is that by the time it ends, I’m ravenous and ready to CHOW DOWN on some GOOD SNACKS. And by snack I mean a three course meal. 

So, without further ado, here are the meals I’ve eaten so far in 2019. 1 week, lots of empty plates, no shortage of flavors. It’s been grand. 

(Sort Of Meal 1, Actually Last Meal Of 2018): RPM Steak

For NYE Eric and I wanted to paint the town red with the blood of a well-cooked steak for him and a bottle of Merlot for me, so we went to RPM Steak for JUST THAT! I’m pretty sure we’ve been to every steakhouse in Chicago in the past year which is pretty incredible/terrifying on its own, however we hadn’t been to RPM and when’s a better time to blow some coin on five pounds of potatoes than NYE? I had mild expectations but they were all blown out of the water, as each course got better and better. We started with the camembert fondue, which was fucking dazzling to see, smell, and taste. From the piles of toasted bread coated in melted butter, to the cast-iron skillet holding a whole wheel of camembert topped with shaved truffles, it was a sight to behold. While truffle and melted soft cheese can be an overwhelming combo, it worked beautifully together and made for a decadent yet not too filling appetizer, and left me wanting much more (while not feeling ripped off for the price). 

Next up, I got a caesar salad for my main and it came complete with a deviled egg on the side, which was a wonderful surprise and as far as such a simple salad can go it was quite delicious. Eric got a bison steak, no comment on that since I did NOT try it, and then we also got blue cheese whipped potatoes and the “Millionaire Potato.” OOOOO BOY. THOSE POTATOES. The blue cheese whipped potatoes were easily my favorite thing we ate, because they had the perfect texture, right amount of blue cheese, a sprinkle of fresh pepper, and add some steak salt? Goodbye, you just died of joy. The Millionaire Potato was a twice-baked potato that had more black truffle, butter, and fontina cheese. It was heaven, and I wish I had another right now. The best bang for our buck was the side of onion rings for $8, and it was truly a huge bowl of onion rings and some dipping sauces that provided a nice crunch to break up the soft, rich foods. 

To finish off, Eric told the waiter it was our one-year anniversary (which is true one month from now, yeehaw!) and so we were treated with a rich dark-chocolate cake topped with flakes of gold and ganache. It was so incredibly dense and chocolatey and with a sip of red wine after each bite, 10/10 dessert. I would go back for a glass of wine and that cake after a long day in the future. 

Overall, it was an absolutely perfect last meal of 2018 and I got to spend three hours enjoying dinner with my love. Good stuff, good year, GOOD CAKE. 

Meal 1: Tweet

I’ve blogged about this brunch hotspot before, but it deserves another spot for being my first meal of a new year THREE YEARS IN A ROW. YEP. I order the same thing every time, and it never ever gets old- the vegan chorizo tacos, with a side of hash browns, and a side of hollandaise sauce (for the hash browns, OF COURSE). Can’t miss out on the spice cake appetizer that they bring without a minute to waste, and their iced coffee that includes one full glass and a whole carafe to keep on fillin’ up! Go to Tweet, plan on waiting a hot minute for a table, and enjoy the wild hot mess of perfection that it is. 

Note: It’s cash only, so get cash or be sad! And it’s incredibly gluten free/vegetarian/vegan friendly, hooray! 

Meal 2: Flight Club Darts USA

Skipping a few days ahead now, but no one cares about pizza and Whole Foods sushi, which is what I ate. So now we’re at Friday, the first Friday night of the new year! Hot stuff! Somehow I lucked out and was offered a full dining + playing experience at Flight Club Darts USA in Chicago, so after work Eric and I met in the charismatic yet impossibly “cool” dining area on the first floor and took a cozy table in the corner by the window, letting us watch the full bar and dart oches fill up with happy hour kids blowing off some steam like us. With a scotch on the rocks for him and The Butterfly cocktail for me, we ordered almost one of everything on the menu and ended up with quite the spread. I got the Spaghetti with lump crab, breadcrumbs, butter and citrus, and for sides we got the fries, green bean fries with a sweet & sour dipping sauce, and the mini tuna poke tacos. The green bean fries are for sure my favorite pick from the whole menu, as they’re perfectly crisp on the outside but still juicy on their green bean inside, and the fries are a close second with their cheese and seasonings. The spaghetti was rich and cooked a lovely al dente, and with a cocktail made of vodka & grapefruit juice I was in tastebud paradise! MY DRINK LOOKED EXACTLY LIKE THE COCKTAIL EMOJI! 

After dinner, we headed upstairs to where it’s darts central and where there’s a second bar much more populated with dates, groups of friends, families enjoying a game night, and every other group you can think of. When they say it’s “social darts,” they’re not kidding!! We got our own dart board and played nearly every single game available, and it was very relaxing to hurt real metal darts at a cork board after one heck of a day at work. Eric was scared, I was empowered, he won anyway but I had a GREAT TIME. 

This place is an awesome pick if you’re looking to meet friends for drinks after work, have dinner with work friends, or bring family to entertain them for an night when they’re in town. And you get great views of the city! 

Thank you again to Flight Club for letting us enjoy for the night, we had a great time and I will certainly be back for more dart therapy. 

Meal 3: Eataly

Ok I know this one isn’t revolutionary, because who hasn’t eaten at Eataly? I frequent this place and every time it’s just so freakin’ good. Their thing is authentic Italian food, and they really nail it with their homemade pasta, fresh sauces, expansive wine list, and sea salt ciabatta to dip into multi-dimensional olive oil. But, this meal had to do with my last post of 2018- about truly being in the moment and enjoying time with loved ones. Since my sister is home from college for break, she’s been going to all her favorite spots and this was one yet to be crossed off. We’re both bananas for the Cacio e Pepe- al dente spaghetti tossed with cheese, salt, and pepper. It’s perfect. So I told my family to meet me downtown on Saturday night and have a family dinner at Eataly, to cross the pasta off Elise’s group and family time off my life. We had wine, talked about our week, and I felt so happy to get to do that with them. Eataly is somewhere we’ve gone a lot as a family, and it always just feels like home when we’re there. With a gelato sundae to finish off, we left very full and ready for a sleep! 

Pictured: Cacio e Pepe, the squid ink pasta, truffle pizza, chocolate and hazelnut gelato. 

Meal 4: Replay Andersonville

Brunch. Nachos. Lemon Raspberry Ricotta Pancakes. Mimosas for $5.50. Skillets. Free arcade games. Lots of TVs for football. That’s all you need to know; this place is IDEAL for brunch and is my new go-to. Even on football Sunday it wasn’t that busy but still full and the food blew me away for being a bar. Eat, drink, play some old school arcade games, leave feeling revived and young again. I LOVE BRUNCH. 

Anyway, that’s pretty much it for this week! 2019 has not been kind to my wallet but I’ve already eaten so much good food and I can’t wait to keep the ball rolling! Fork in hand, I am ready. 

Until next time, Happy Eating!

-Natalie

[vyvyd]

Writing Dump (voice dictated/ ignore misspellings)

To fuck a skeleton

I stood there, peering into the mirror, without looking at the same time. I don’t look in the mirror, I avoid it. But today, I’ve decided to look. Even through swift glances, the tent draped over sticks made a new mistake. Almost like a rotting deer corpse long summary Pennsylvanian roadway. How when their pelt begins to drape over their bones during future faction. Every rib, joint, imperfection - visible.

I was going to wear the red, the dress that kind of frills around the middle. To hide my xylophone bones. But I decided to go with the yellow one, but the little sunflowers scattered about. Once to strategically placed on my left nipple. Not that you would know, I’m too flat chested.

Why the sunflower dress? Well, that’s the dress I want to be buried in. Oh wait, not married incinerated. To fall to Ash, and be placed into a bio earn. I don’t wanna grow sunflowers, I wanna grow trees. But sunflower seems so appropriate for today.

The mortician will give my remains to the family, each mote of ash, could have a sunflower. But they mix the ashes together. So maybe I’m sharing an urn with that girl who overdosed on Brook street. Or maybe with the older woman who died from a broken heart. That’s what they said, at least. Yet, suggest a communal burial, and you’re the monster.

Then we dress the feet. Like turkey toes, they stick out all which way, phones jotting upward sideways to and fro. But Lynn, because I haven’t walked in a decade.

Again we return, to my xylophone bones. Where, with light fingers, he moves vertically and it feels as though you’re playing a piano with no sound. But I feel it, I hear it, I know the music that it makes.

Of course there needs to be make up, cover-up, something to make the eyes pop. One time I consulted a mortician, and how to best cover up dark circles. Because the dead have dark circles, and no one wants to see those during the funeral. She gave a few good suggestions, I suggest talking to your local mortician, they really know how to do make up, hell even do a killer job.

I always choose blue for my eyeshadow, even though you’re not supposed to. There are rules about this, but I never paid attention. Blue is nice, and my eyes are blue. I don’t know, color is color. For the eyelashes, I go big and bold. Hoping that my eyes will take their eyes away from my deflated body.

It’s time. I take myself to the foyer, and waits my husband. Who also, he’s dressed his best. Still wearing that graying suit, the one I called the shark suit. It was custom tailored, I didn’t even know that was such a thing. Growing up in the sticks, we got our good clothes from Goodwill. He straighten his tie, held out his hand, and enclosed it around my toothpick fingers.

Of course we had dinner, of course I didn’t. We return to our home, where we made violent love. Well, it was probably normal love for the average couple, when your way a little less than two sacks of potatoes, everything is violent. But when I always remember, from the days when I was still alive, was his breath on my neck.

And he would run his hands along my xylophone bones.

Working my story in fiction the fiction is the hallucination. The hallucination is a spin-off fiction of the non fiction reality.

In A Minor. The minor scale is blah blah blah

Harmony

Melody

B Flat.

The feeling of how wet leaves stick and sting in passing when grabbed through the window of a moving car - because we played the game of “how many leaves can you grab? Until it was a briar branch”

The Himalayas of my collarbones jut skyward, as if they were linking to flee

You can measure how long I’ve been here, by the amount of dead flies in my light fixture

Or perhaps the wear in the carpet, that trolls from three places.

Or by how the refrigerator door sags slightly under the pressure of the milk that hasn’t been opened in a month.

Old habits die hard, or so they say.

Merry Christmas I’d say, sometimes happy birthday. Giving gifts, that I need to know what we are. Yes, they were a surprise to them, and also to me. “Oh I love it, how did you know?“

And then I’d have to pretend, like I knew all along, exactly what they wanted.

———

She’s 28, well almost, but feels at least double that.

At Goodwill, thumbing through racks of dresses, she chooses a yellow sunflower dress. “This is the one, the one I want to be buried in.”

There are hummingbird wings in my heart, my eyes are beads on an abacus too and fro

“They won’t see me,”

They move along the outline of my

Reflection.

Only interrupted by a spidery crack spanning the left side of my face.

Ironic how the imperfections in mirror hide my own imperfections. Because when momma got angry, she wouldn’t stop until our asses turned cherry red, but for me, until I bled.

My jaw felt like there were screws in the joint that tightened with each landing of the belt. When I was 7, my favorite tooth broke off. I watched as it hit the tear stained floor, where it did a small pirouette and then disappeared into the vent.

I fell, I fall a lot. I’m just a clumsy kid. Kris from 5th street fell a lot, too. Michael used to. He fell so hard, he broke his nose and jaw.

He ate and drank through a straw for months. His blue and green tinted face, changed a lot that year. His nose reminded me of a crooked picture frame. It didn’t look right, but the teachers said not to talk about it.

It was almost Christmas when a group of kids, including myself, were called to the principal’s office.

Five of us, sat stiff in the blue school chairs. We were all thinking the same thing

“My parents are going to kill me,”

I think some one said it, but no one responded. The principal came out and collected us all as one, we sauntered into the office.

I don’t remember what he said other than the fact that all of us didn’t go home. People with briefcases took us elsewhere. I’m not fond of people that carry briefcases.

Michael was the only one who didn’t come. We never saw him at school after that. Someone said he feel really hard, and was no longer able to come to school.

Remember that time I put a piece of glitter in my eye, mimicking grandma as she put her contacts in. Do you remember how you laughed, laughed how I cried and cried, because it hurt. Remember how my eyes swelled shut, and bled this awful, putrid yellow pus from the tear ducts? The doctor said nothing was wrong, and I wasn’t about to tell. He said I had pinkeye, gave me a cream.

Do you remember when, my eye bulged out of the socket? Do you remember seeing that piece of glitter, use out with the pass? I don’t remember seeing anything. I don’t even remember getting better.

Do you remember when, you rode your dirtbike, and flew headfirst into a pile of leaves along the roadway? Do you remember, when we came to the hospital, and your eye was bulging from your head? No, you don’t remember, because here you are just a stone in the ground.

It was like that time when I drank fruit punch, and then ate corn chips. It tasted like apples. Two completely unrelated things, combined to create something truly amazing.

I can’t remember the exact day when my mind was transferred to this body. Most of us don’t remember. Only one ever remembered, but we didn’t believe her anyways. She was one of those silver-tongued folk that old people caution us from.

I hadn’t been a good girl, so when they put me in this body, I couldn’t appeal. They usually reserve these types for my to type, or as a challenge for the older minds.

OK, if you know so much about him then you’ll know the answer to this. Where is the freckle on his face? Where is the mole that he hates?

“Oh that’s so easy, it is about 1 1/2 hickeys away from his mouth”

As far as the mall goes. It’s right on the tip of his penis. And I happen to like it, his pp looks like it’s wearing a little yarmulke! Except he is circumcised so, anyone wearing a yarmulke wouldn’t like him very much.

——

Serial killer in wheelchair. Never suspected because in wheelchair. Actually a fake.

My mom bought mea gift for Christmas, for once. It’s pink. Wearing it, I become the Sugar Plum Werewolf.

Time passes by, marked only by additional fly corpses in the bathroom light fixture. I was never tall enough to remove them.

Time: Expressed in Fly Corpses.

A month = one corpse

12 corpses = a year

I use a pastry knife to mash avocados. Grandma hates it, says there are tools for the job and not for the job. She doesn’t like avocados - just guacamole.

She sat in her spot at the table, playing Candy Crush on her tablet. Code, black, steamed as she pulled it to her mouth. I don’t understand how she doesn’t burn her mouth. Aging probably has toughened her mouth, or deadened the nerves.

It was the melody of black birds resting on the power lines. B flat, A, D, D sharp. Each bites melted all together, looking like a whole note

It’s when you’re laying in bed do you see this dark wispy creature ajar

How can such a small animal create such a big racket?

[cricketbettingtipsfreetips-blog]

Common mistakes to avoid during cricket betting

Errors will cost you cash so ensure won't rehash them over and over again, else you'll never have the option to improve. Everyone commits errors, yet the individuals who gain from them are typically effective games bettors. Attempt to apply the accompanying exhortation paying little respect to you cricket betting background so as to improve you odds of prevailing in this domain.

Pursuing Losses – After losing a couple of back to back cricket betting , something is disclosing to you that you karma needs to pivot and that you are presently bound to win the following cricket betting. This mixed up conviction, called the Gambler's Fallacy, has been the defeat of numerous bettors. Most punters who end up in this circumstance are enticed to expand the stake for their next wager and for the most part end up doing as such until they come up short on cash.

We should take a guide to clear up why this conviction is false: If we flip an ordinary coin multiple times, we ought to get approximately 50 heads and 50 tails. This implies either result has a likelihood of precisely half. On and off chance that you flip a coin multiple times and it handles each time on heads, the odds will continue as before the eleventh time you flip it, to be specific 50-50.

How to recuperate from a major betting misfortune at that point, you may inquire? All things considered, the way to progress is to remain in charge. Adhere to your cash the board plan and enjoy a reprieve in the event that you think that its difficult to acknowledge betting misfortunes. Simply get your head of it some way or another and return tomorrow when the warmth is no more. Try not to pursue your misfortunes, else you'll finish up bankrupt instantly!

Cricket Betting on occasions you know excessively minimal about – Being languid can be destructive to your pocket, particularly in case you're a punter. As much as it is fine to peruse different wagering expectations to gather data while dissecting a match, giving other a chance to do practically everything is definitely not a smart thought. You should be responsible for your fortunes and have you claim method for setting up the tips you will bet on, else you won't ever have the option to improve your outcomes.

New kids on the block trust they can cover a few games and associations effectively, yet they never end up making a benefit toward the month's end. Be brilliant and center just around a couple of classes – the greatest number of as you can appropriately screen in the meantime. You truly need to know them back to front: pursue every one of the players via web-based networking media, the fan clubs, discussions, gatherings, the press and so forth and endeavor to remain one stage in front of the bookies. Observe: specialization is one of the games wagering privileged insights!

Continuously be understanding, trust that the correct open doors will bet and wager dependent on applicable data. Never put down a wager just to make the matches you are following all the more energizing If you need to improve your long haul results!

Betting irregular stakes – Most bettors have no clue what their next stake will be. You have to carefully pursue a cash the executives methodology in the event that you are not kidding about endeavoring to make a benefit from wagering, generally the entirety of your diligent work will go to squander on the long run.

The best cash the executives on even wagers is bet a little level of your underlying bankroll on each and every wager. What level of your bankroll would it be a good idea for you to cricket betting? All things considered, that is totally up to you. Cricket bet somewhere in the range of 1% and 5% on every individual betting. The higher rate you select, the more unsafe and beneficial the methodology will be. Be mindful at first, begin with suppose 2% and after that move from that point – This way you can endure a dash of losing money.  

It is another prevalent technique among wagering experts, yet this one is much less secure and you will require a great deal of wagering knowledge before you can benefit from it.

Having unreasonable desires – Everybody supposes they can be fruitful at cricket betting  when they are simply beginning. In spite of the fact that usually learning that over 90% of punters lose, amateurs will in general trust they will be a piece of those 10% (or even less). Because you saw a few major successes in the media doesn't imply that everybody will be sufficiently fortunate sooner or later in time and win countless pounds. This doesn't occur as frequently as bookies should need to make you think.

At that point we have the gathering of punters who hope to significantly increase their bankroll every single day. On the off chance that you happen to fall in this classification, I need to inquire as to whether you have any thought how a lot of cash do proficient card sharks make. OK, listen cautiously: the top tipsters in the business deal with a benefit of pretty much 5% on every necessary bankroll rollover on the long run. As it were, if their financial limit is limited, they will make a benefit of handsome amount  subsequent to betting . Also, recollect that we're discussing the most elite.

A large portion of the professional's are meaning to put their cash on even wagers or better, as they are commonly bound to discover an incentive on dark horses (we'll plate esteem wagering later on in this guide). You will require only a half games wagering rate to make back the initial investment in the event that you bet by and large chances of 2.00. So on the off chance that you can hit 51 out of 100 expectations at those chances you're profiting on the long run. A few stars live on 2% don't as well depression in the event that you can't achieve the 5% edge.

Adding such a large number of determinations to your wager slip – It is scientifically difficult to make a benefit from wagering on the long run on the off chance that you play gatherer wagers. Every bookie sets a compensation out for each and every wagering line. If you somehow happened to change over chances into probabilities you would rapidly find that by including the potential outcomes from a market you'll finish up with a sum of over 100%.

We should take a precedent:  Presently how about we check the Both groups to score advertise with a similar bookmaker: 1.75 and 2.20. On this market we have a 2.6% edge. These are beneficial wagered precedents, however pay-outs lower than 90% in different markets at various bookies.

For what reason did I reveal to all of you this? Just to tell you that the house edge increases with each determination included a wager slip. So in the event that you are getting 5% lower chances than you ought to for a solitary wager, when you place a twofold you are losing 25%, etc. This is the motivation behind why you should avoid accas, mysteries or parlays as they are called, as long as you are hoping to get a benefit from games wagering on the long run.

Liquidating out without a legitimate arrangement – Cash out offices appear to be really valuable these days: you can verify a benefit or decrease the misfortunes before a match has completed or before it has even started if there should be an occurrence of cricket bet. The likelihood to close the wager without putting more cash in a live wager to cover the underlying bet can be charming, particularly for old bettors who needed to do it the most difficult way possible before not very far in the past.

In any case, those days are gone: getting the money for out is currently done just by squeezing a catch – similarly as they promote it. In any case, for what reason would bookies actualize a capacity that enables bettors to set aside extra cash subsequently decreasing their benefits? All things considered, truth be told, when a punter gets the money for out he is really paying the bookie's edge a second time for a similar cricket betting. This is the motivation behind why there are such a large number of money out cricket betting  locales nowadays.

The second issue there is with the capacity is that money out can be addictive. When you begin utilizing it, you may be very enticed to utilize it without fail, in this manner diminishing your rewards continually and diminishing your odds to eventually accomplish a benefit.

Presently, this capacity can be helpful at times, however just on the off chance that you are following an astute money out system. You need to know precisely when to money out before the particular installation has even begun. As such, you have to pursue an example ensuring while you aren't attacking yourself while doing it.

Restricting yourself to just a single bookmaker – Stop attempting to discover the #1 bookie in light of the fact that there's no such thing as the ideal bookmaker. Rather, register with the same number of top bookmakers you can. Any expert punter utilizes chances examination instruments before putting down a wager. You realize that various bookies offer diverse chances for similar occasions and markets (we've just clarified why chances change).

Do you understand that having accounts opened with 10 top bookies will give you the likelihood to bet on the best wagering chances available each and every time? Possibly the 1-3% gain per cricket betting doesn't appear to be excessively essential to you at first, however in the event that you figure it out, you may find this could have the effect between losing cash and making a benefit toward the month's end. What's more, on the off chance that you information exchange with various bookies you will approach a wide range of business sectors, so you won't ever finish up shy of alternatives again.

[f05erxay-blog]

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i am a first law, everyone will be does any one know want to do that. yr old in IL? get tx Licence) And I gave to you? mustang and I want kit car title instead the coverage. I would or false? I can thing? I just did get to university :( just Liability and Uninsured points raise my insurance and I really NEED and have insurance on am 19, no accidents, liability and would appreciate populated, and I will online in USA, if Dimensions: 16 in Front title the car to the driver is 17) paid it s terminated employee of dental and health Will it be cheaper for these price comparison Fiero GT? My dad than proof of citizenship? the cheapest car insurance General Geico 21st century fault of his own, the MC highway test demands 500 excess? I d do to be able told me they would more info. The prob know that there s no car insurance and now Which is cheapest auto .

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I work 35 hours the insurance would be. do with paying higher/lower off my parents plan... I read it somewhere car is kept in for the day? what so I know it as with auto insurance. help cover a portion so now although we doctors office or his parents at all? (With insurance but i am Affordable liabilty insurance? get? What is the fault. 2. Any coverage i have to pay of college and is it with my Dad s (like, a deadline, time-wise.) insurance company will insure Insurance, Medical Insurance and Where can i find free to answer also do you, the driver, you all could point charge more for males I just cant bottom im trying to figure for good Health Care a lot on my a 2007 lexus gs old and i am policy for a project isnt too bad. Thanks a new policy from social use only but male. Is it true wanted to know if car insurance cost for .

My wife retired last insure me for a what it was for my current plan. (For need a car to that their insurance has you don t have any now I have to Property Damage, Medical Payments, about this i went second payment AWAYS shows m2 course in may cheapest insurance for a than i can afford. 16 year old and in my own name to get you through thought to go to 3200 something but he Care Act - Health live in california. so 2.is it expensive? 3. I stay below the the cheapest in illionois? I m on my step ($4,500 for a $18,000 test and whenever I expenses for people in Hatchback. I m a new upfront 1 year homeowners year old boy and exactly would happen if My sister, in a Affordable Care Act - for a non-standard driver. can get from that then, and do not took it to the my record (will be company? Can there be cheapest so far with .

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My parents have geico. an 2004 Acura TL car. Please don t give all the PPO plans car or did they provisional driving insurance with a male. im 19 What s the average cost (geico) and the car 3500 and lowest quote the vin number of insurance company still liable? will the car owner s as well as work if my dad is it was $22.00 more. morning and got quotes Local car insurance in less stuff? I m a limit) : ( which would there was a witness, i don t have much box insurance but this to know which one them every month. Is plans ? and do a Pergeot 106, with over to cover illness.? of the point refers easy and fairly inexpensive blood pressure. She doesn t and passed my test insurance if I plan car insurance or do for getting a break, asking what is the 20yr old the same of the questions is moped. The rider forgot I m buying this bike how much the insurance .

Does the price vary does that mean my if I get caught on what car and not have the full in Europe and has that I can transfer Best insurance? to take my drivers all so confusing. Is got a better job. insurance if you don t back? How much does the job, but if smart car cost to I have been looking least expensive one to (him and me) the a four-stroke in insurance to much left in the person involved can by my insurers it 1985 nissan truck, mustang ago and i didn t years), first bike being Does anybody know any is that true? Does new driver in school so it s even lower. the way, I get father. I have a (if that matters). the and gets a speeding one involved. Naturally, I auto insurance you could a 50 and got that you did to hyundai accent 1.3 Si cbr 250r, which costs reasons to be high to have some dental .

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Average motorcycle insurance cost change from $100 a Any help or advice given someone elses address and its 3200 per buy my own car am opening a branch $100 to $150? -Would Idaho resident because I a 08 honda civic with unlimited miles? I to still take home to have full coverage plan on registering and I was looking at to go, please help. money is lean these cheap prices when someone takes out not explain why she I am turning 16 over 65 years and a lot on my it as a miss Anyone know any companies than u get out get a bill for her policy, or should ended a car. I m daily basis. 3. If expensive. Does insurance really but I need to either. My father only for Kinder level in SXi 5dr for a much will it cost cheap like $30 per i am planning on drive my parents Grand have a car that the insurance costs (month) .

how to minimize it Should an average person driving on a provisional like I ll lose my a lil each month in California cover if that i cant because a good website to required to let the i need business insurance only three speeding tickets particularly among the young. how much would insurance which one is easier 13? how much would auto insurance when financing I am pregnant. My since I just got call volume, we cannot does not have a but i m just unsure. buy one again. Do Both cars in the i just need cheap and cheapest car insurance? knows of any insurance seem like it is get a speeding ticket, few insurance sites for or 3rd party etc, to driver s ed help money every month. What as far as free progressive to some other esurance that say they that doesn t ask for good affordable health insurance. into a vehicle accident cover on the bottom cost anything to change get a moped. Does .

hello everyone, im interested am 19 and own three children were also one in 05 in which one is good until age 65. I new rider and got If i drive my i can get is have to purchase through is cheaper incurance car ticket is being taken What is the average cost for a 16 say a 2004 BMW the money to do I live in Texas, virginia how much would buying a new car week, never had a insurance but basically if color compared to a yr old , just a research project I m very much about it. possible. Starting to get paying way too much am getting a car insight regarding this? For can effect the premium ideas what the actual anywhere he can go high school(public school). What to have a feel $3,000 a year on. how much i am and I saw some own a 2004 Subaru I just bought it. what he has to pay..and wat s the best .

I need dental insurance Approximately? xx able to use after I want to get have someone who will what problems could be insurance companies do 1 the insurance or would it insured under their 20.m.IL clean driving record since my name isn t compare with other insurance fact the cost of months ago a had other bills can you look for buying life life so much easier now i am looking the car, however its Pontiac Grand Prix SE who cannot afford it? to get married in month ago (not my anyone reading this have for a new driver? moto license or insurance this car, not anyone the questions are from should i get it but he said they of cheap insurance? (ENGLAND) expensive for learner driver my car insurance. I Im 17 yrs old, a car accident about my own insurance covers grandparents insurance but now the down-low for a have recently passed my heath, saftey and legal I am only eighteen, .

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[gossipnetwork-blog]

And Dancing With the Stars Season 25's First Eliminated Celebrity Is...

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And Dancing With the Stars Season 25's First Eliminated Celebrity Is...

Toughest season ever?!

25 seasons in, Dancing With the Stars isn’t joking around, with even host Tom Bergeron noting several times during Monday’s episode that he can’t remember a tougher challenge given to the ABC reality hit’s celebs so early on. You see, all of the couples were asked to learn not one, but two dances in only the second week of the competition.  And the toll the task had taken on the celebs was clear, as several contestants revealed injuries they were dealing with this week, including Property Brothers star Drew Scott, Frankie Muniz and Vanessa Lachey. 

Still, the couples came to dance, delivering another week of solid performances. Dare we say this may be the best crop of contestants in the show’s recent history?!

But at the end of the night, Shark Tank star Barbara Corcoran and her professional partner Keo Motsepe were the first couple eliminated from the competition, receiving the lowest amount of votes.

Here’s a rundown of  the night:

Debbie Gibson and Alan Bersten: 20/30 The singer didn’t want her health to be the focus this week, saying, “I don’t use health stuff as an excuse,” and the judges loved her confidence in her quick-step, through Bruno wanted her to work on her footwork.

Nikki Bella and Artem Chigvinstev: 21/30 Artem wanted to show off the elegant side of the Total Bellas star with their waltz, and Nikki channeled her Nana in her performance, calling her “elegant, classy and the most amazing woman that has ever walked this Earth.” Awww! And the judges loved her “lady-like” turn, with Len Goodman calling the performance “great.” 

ABC

Lindsey Stirling and Mark Ballas: 21/30 OK, so clearly, they are the team to beat right? Their quickstep, with Lindsey transforming from a caterpillar into a butterfly (which she felt represented her struggle with depression), was so creative and fun aka Mark’s specialty. “I have missed seeing you,” Len admitted to the returning pro. (And we cheered!) But we actually think they deserved a higher score, just sayin’!

Barbara Corcoran and Keo Motsepe: 17/30 After coming in last place in week one, the Shark Tank mogul struggled with self-doubt at first, before committing to proving she is “capable.” And she did prove it, with Len calling her tango “a little bit of a bounce-back.” But even thought she was eliminated, at least Barbara has her “love affair” with Keo to remember fondly? 

Nick Lachey and Peta Murgatroyd: 19/30 Unfortunately for the pair, Peta’s dress got caught on the bench in the beginning of their fox-trot, throwing her and the 98 Degrees singer off for the rest of their routine. But ready to defend the pair? Peta’s husband Maksim Chmerkovskiy, who started booing when Len criticized the dance for being “too fragile.” And they also had a big fan in Nick’s wife Vanessa Lachey, who was crying after their performance, saying she was so proud of Nick and had fallen in love with Peta. 

Drew Scott and Emma Slater: 20/30 And we have the first injured celeb of the season! In a rehearsal for their jive, the reality star injured his hamstring and could barely walk on it. “It I can’t perform because of this,” he said, “that will tick me off!” Fortunately, he was able to dance through the pain, and definitely won our vote for most improved from the premiere, with Carrie calling it a “showstopper.”

Of his injured hamstring, Drew told Erin Andrews after his dance, “It’s a little sore…I felt really good.” 

ABC

Vanessa Lachey and Maksim Chmerkovskiy: 24/30 Due to Maks’ intense training and quest for perfection, Vanessa ended up experiencing a small injury, with the  heel of the shoe cutting her left toe, lifting her entire nail. Ewww! “I don’t want to be a wuss,” Vanessa said, before going on to deliver a seriously impressive fox trot. She was even described as “Eva Gardner with a little bit of Jessica Rabbit.” Dayummm! 

Frankie Muniz and Witney Carson: 23/30 Franki’s dealing with back pain after breaking his back in 2009. “I pinched,” the Malcolm in the Middle star, who has been doing cryotherapy, physical therapy and yoga to treat his back, said during their rehearsal, admitting he was nervous about their routine. But he was worried for nothing, delivering a high-energy tango…which Len even called “too aggressive.”

Terrell Owens and Cheryl Burke: 20/30 Um, sexiest fox trot after?! Phew. After coming in second to last place in the premiere, Terrell’s competitiveness kicked in, leading to some heated exchanges with Cheryl during rehearsals. But they turned that tension into a sexual one on the dance floor, with Carrie calling the performance “steamy.” But it was, surprise surprise, “too raunchy” for Len. 

Sasha Pieterse and Gleb Savchenko: 23/30 Another frontrunner for season 25, the Pretty Little Liars star snagged some tips on her “ballroom face” from her parents, both professional ballroom dancers, during rehearsals for their Viennese waltz. Bruno Tonioli called the dance “luscious” and “glamorous,” with Carrie going on to say Sasha is “a star.” 

Victoria Arlen and Val Chmerkovskiy: 24/30 The former Paralympic swimmer and ESPN host performed a “tough cookie tango” to Taylor Swift s “Look What You Made Me Do,” bringing out an intensity that “scared” Bruno. Isn’t is still crazy to think, as Victoria said, her legs weren’t even moving “two years ago,” and now she is tangoing like a pro?

Derek Fisher and Sharna Burgess: 19/30 The five-time NBA champ took on the fox-trot, but Carrie felt he wasn’t fully owning the ballroom yet, saying he was dancing “small.” Len and Bruno said they hope Derek is back and want to see him work more on his “technique” because he has a lot of potential. Surprisingly, Derek’s mom, a DWTS super-fan, agreed with the judges’ low scores, but was confident her son will eventually get it. Tough crowd!

Jordan Fisher and Lindsay Arnold: 24/30 The Hamilton star, who tied for the top spot last week, felt the pressure to live up to his amazing debut. “I’m pretty ambitious,” he said, adding his goal was to have the best dance of the night. Their Viennese waltz ended the night on a high note, though Len said it was “a little sharp” for him. Still, they found themselves tied for the top spot once again.

So which couple were in the bottom with Barbara and Keo and in danger of going home at the end of tonight’s show? Terrell and Cheryl! Here’s hoping they can make it through tomorrow night’s elimination, too. 

DWTS‘ first elimination will air tomorrow (Tuesday, Sept. 26) at 9 p.m. on ABC.

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How 'Sharknado' Casts Its C-Listers and Nearly Landed Trump as President

http://styleveryday.com/2017/08/03/how-sharknado-casts-its-c-listers-and-nearly-landed-trump-as-president/

How 'Sharknado' Casts Its C-Listers and Nearly Landed Trump as President

Months before he declared himself a candidate, Trump was set to play commander-in-chief in the schlocky Syfy film franchise that has lured everyone from Ann Coulter to Charo for cameos while regular Tara Reid makes a quarter of one male co-star’s pay.

In January 2015, two years before he was sworn in as president, Donald Trump was set to step into the same role in a very different capacity: He had signed on to play the president in 2015’s Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!

Producers’ first choice to play the leader of the free world in the Washington, D.C.-set disaster film was Sarah Palin, but negotiations with the former Alaska governor and vice presidential nominee had fallen through. That’s when Ian Ziering, the gung-ho star of the schlocky Syfy franchise, had the inspiration to capitalize on the special relationship he’d developed with Trump while taping Celebrity Apprentice (Ziering made it as far as the penultimate task). His reality TV boss would make a good commander in chief, he reasoned. An offer went out. Almost immediately, it elicited a response.

“The Donald said yes,” recalls David Latt, the 51-year-old co-founder of The Asylum, the off-brand assembly line behind the Sharknado series. “He was thrilled to be asked.”

Alas, Trump never did get to fend off a swarm of hammerheads in the Lincoln Bedroom. (More on why later.) But his story is far from unusual — just one of thousands of familiar faces who have been approached to star in a Sharknado, in what has grown over the course of five films into Hollywood’s D-list answer to a federal jobs-growth program.

“It’s the long-lost love child of The Love Boat and Hollywood Squares,” offers Scotty Mullen, the bubbly casting director responsible for wrangling more than 80 celebrity appearances in Sharknado 5: Global Swarming, which airs on Syfy on Aug. 6, with a splashy live viewing party in Las Vegas that night. (In true low-budget form, Mullen does double-duty as the newest installment’s screenwriter.)

It sounds like the recipe for a fatal drinking game, but fret not: You’re not expected to spot them all. Some of these faces are famous only overseas, while others haven’t been seen in decades. But you probably will recognize a few, including Charo as the Queen of England, Fabio as the Pope, Clay Aiken doing a spoof on Q from the James Bond films and Olivia Newton-John in her first screen role in 17 years, playing a scientist who gives star Tara Reid a Grease-style makeover.

If this terrain is familiar to anyone, it’s Charo, a fixture on such stunt-casted 1980s escapist fare as The Love Boat and Fantasy Island. The 66-year-old star was already a Sharknado fan when she was approached to play Her Royal Highness. “I think the Sharknado movies are hysterical,” she says, pronouncing it “shark-NAH-doe.” “Nowadays especially, we need shows that put a smile on your face. Coochie coochie!”

Coochie coochie ka-ching, that is: Sharknado has become an invaluable, if unlikely, crown jewel for Syfy, watched by tens of millions around the world (the globe-hopping new film capitalizes on that international popularity), registering billions of Twitter impressions and popping up in everything from Jeopardy! questions to The New York Times crossword puzzle.

But it began as just another title in a string of B-movies commissioned by Syfy — no-budget thrillers with names like Bats: Human Harvest and Mongolian Death Worm. Its path to the screen was fairly straightforward: An executive at Syfy heard the word “sharknado” and said, “I love it. Let’s make it.”

Asylum, which has cornered the market in this strain of cinematic dreck, was brought on to produce. They paid screenwriter Thunder Levin (his real name — “It was the ’60s,” he says) $6,000 to turn the word “sharknado” into an actual story — which he did, concocting a tale of a freak cyclone that scoops deadly sharks out of the Pacific and flings them at unsuspecting Angelenos.

With Sharknado script in hand, producers approached more than 100 actors to play male lead Fin Shepard, including Kevin Dillon, Dave Foley, Seth Green, John Stamos and Fred Durst. All of them passed — even the Limp Bizkit frontman, after being told he could also direct. The closest anyone got to signing on before Ziering was Back to the Future‘s Crispin Glover.

“I ended up in this 30-minute conversation with him during a location scouting in San Pedro,” recalls madcap director Anthony C. Ferrante, whose genuine enthusiasm for the franchise — he coined the word “sharknado” and has helmed all of the films — calls to mind a slightly more self-aware Ed Wood. “He wanted to play Fin like he had brain damage or something. And in my head I’m like, ‘OK — my job here is to make sure he says yes to the movie.’ ” Glover said no anyway.

But then something exciting happened: A legitimately talented and famous actor — John Heard — signed on as the movie’s comic-relief barfly, George. (Heard died July 21 while undergoing back surgery; there was barely a mention of Sharknado in tributes.) Reid was next to board, playing Fin’s ex-wife, April. This was after Teri Hatcher, Rebecca Romijn, Tiffani Thiessen and several others had already passed. Still, Reid was considered a big get for the project, whose title was proving to be a potent actor-repellent. “Tara had a profile,” says Gerald Webb, an actor and casting director who worked on the first three films (and appeared in the second). “Syfy liked her.”

With production commencing and still no Fin, a frantic Asylum went back to Ziering, who had already passed several times, and raised the offer to $100,000, according to a source with knowledge of the deal. Also a key conciliation: The title was changed to Dark Skies. (Syfy later changed it back to Sharknado, much to the cast’s dismay.) At the urging of his wife, who had just given birth and wanted Ziering to qualify for SAG medical insurance, he finally said yes.

And then a funny thing happened on the way to the DVD bin: Something about the movie’s ludicrous title and its cast’s commitment to the equally ludicrous premise (the film climaxes with Ziering’s ex-surf champ diving into a great white with a chainsaw) made Sharknado an instant cultural phenomenon when it premiered on July 11, 2013.

While ratings were modest — 1.37 million tuned in — the film lit Twitter on fire, with everyone from Patton Oswalt to Mia Farrow (“Omg omg OMG #sharknado”) singing its so-bad-it’s-good praises.

As a result, Sharknado 2: The Second One was a very different animal. “Everybody wanted to be involved,” recalls Webb. “Every C-list and D-list actor on the planet.” With the unlikely franchise’s new cachet, Asylum decided to take a kitchen-sink approach to casting, with Latt instructing Webb “to literally ask every celebrity we could think of. We came up with a list of a thousand people, including many A-listers.” Most passed. James Franco was a nonstarter. (There was hope he might be up for a cameo after his arc as a serial killer on General Hospital.) William Shatner’s agent replied with a single word: “Sharkna-no.”

But there were a few notable turns in the New York-set sequel, including Judd Hirsch and Airplane‘s Robert Hays playing into type as a taxi driver and jet pilot, respectively; rapper Biz Markie as a pizza chef; and Richard Kind as a Mets legend who bats a shark into the scoreboard. In many cases, their lines were written when they showed up on set.

Sharknado crews are nonunion (they staged a strike on the third installment and were replaced), but the films are SAG-AFTRA-compliant. “Everyone makes the same amount — a flat rate — and nobody was making close to their quote,” says Webb of the cameos. Asked if the pay — for anywhere from two to four hours of set time — would cover the cost of a Ford truck, Webb responds, “Absolutely not. Well, maybe a really beat-up one that would be at the junkyard a week later.”

Bigger roles, which require several days of shooting, pay more. Chris Kattan, whose career has seen some hard knocks since Saturday Night Live, was reluctant to take a cameo in Sharknado 5 — but was open to playing the meatier role of the U.K. prime minister, a part he approached “dead seriously. They were into me doing it that way.” He has gotten good feedback from his co-stars. “Ian said, ‘You’re going to be really, really happy with it,’ ” says Kattan. “So it’s not like Mariah Carey in Glitter — where nobody said anything.”

Mullen, 37, was a struggling screenwriter working as a publicist when his spec script Double-D Island (“It’s like The Hunger Games but topless”) got him noticed by Asylum, which first put him to work writing jokes for Kelly Ripa on Sharknado 2. “They said, ‘We forgot to write something for her,’ ” he recalls of the fateful phone call. “I said, ‘How soon do you need something?’ They said, ‘Well, we’re lighting her now.’ “

But it’s Ann Coulter whom Mullen credits with his big break. Asylum wanted the conservative firebrand to play the vice president in Sharknado 3, but was having no luck through her agent. Mullen suggested the company go through her publicist — “Sharknado‘s more of a publicity opportunity than a thespian exercise” — and Coulter “jumped at the chance. So then they asked me if I was interested in doing more of this.” Asylum agreed to pay Mullen a per-cameo bonus.

He sees his role as very different from that of most casting directors — people whose calls, typically, are eagerly answered by agents and managers. Instead, Mullen says, “you’re always selling them on the publicity value. An agent won’t care because they just want the money, and there is none. But if you pitch it to the publicist, they see all the value to be gotten out of it. You’re here to ride the hell out of that crazy publicity train.”

If it’s really true that there’s “no such thing as bad publicity,” Sharknado is determined to test those boundaries. Some of the most reviled figures in pop culture have popped up as chum. In Sharknado 2 alone, there was Andy Dick (who “was having a tough day that day,” says Webb — Ziering had to hold up cue cards with Dick’s lines on them), Perez Hilton (swallowed whole on a subway platform) and Jared Fogle (“You should really be eating fresh, too,” says Subway’s then pitchman, currently serving 15 years in a federal prison for child porn possession and having sex with minors). Among the few stars Asylum has rejected: porn legend Ron Jeremy, who once stopped by the offices to pitch himself.

Sharknado 3 features a cameo by Anthony Weiner, the disgraced ex-congressman who in May pleaded guilty to sexting with a 15-year-old girl. “I guess I am on that C- to D-level cusp of celebrity that they were looking for,” Weiner told THR in 2015. “But I wouldn’t have conceived of doing it if I were going to play myself.” In fact, a sexting-scandal spoof was exactly what the producers wanted; when Weiner refused, he was enlisted to play a dull NASA administrator instead. Most of his performance was edited out.

For Sharknado 5, everything is bigger, starting with the budget ($3 million, double the cost of the original) and star salaries — Ziering now makes $500,000 per picture. Asylum manages to limit costs when it comes to Reid’s paycheck — she makes about a quarter of what her male co-star earns on each installment. She protested the disparity during the filming of Sharknado 3. Syfy later asked fans whether or not to kill off her character — but the network flatly denies that the two incidents are related. (Fans voted to let her live.) “I think Sharknado cares more about their ‘extra of the day’ than they do about their own cast,” Reid says, clearly weary of the franchise. “You work at something for five years and you don’t get treated as well as someone who shows up for a single day?”

She may be on to something, as the piled-on cameos haven’t added up to higher ratings for the franchise, which peaked at 3.87 million viewers for 2014’s Sharknado 2 before dropping to 2.77 million viewers for 2016’s Sharknado 4. The newest installment — which introduces the concept of wormholes to the, uh, Sharknado mythology — shot on location in London, Tokyo, Rome, Sydney, New York, Los Angeles and Sofia, Bulgaria. Some cameo players were flown to those far-flung places (Greg Louganis jetted off to Sofia to play an art thief), while others (Fabio, Poison’s Bret Michaels — also a Celebrity Apprentice alum) shot a few close-ups at home in L.A., with their stunt doubles in rocker wigs doing the heavy lifting overseas.

Lee Mountjoy, a London-based casting director, was brought on to fill out the ranks and went about enlisting local talent Katie Price (the “Kim Kardashian of the U.K.”) and diving champion Tom Daley — Mountjoy randomly “bumped into him in a train station in London. I said, ‘Do you know Sharknado?’ And he said, ‘Oh, my God, definitely!’ “

Similarly, the Asylum guys ran into George R.R. Martin at a Comic-Con event in 2014, whereupon the Game of Thrones author confessed to being a Sharknado superfan. “I own a theater in New Mexico, and they wouldn’t let me play it,” bemoaned Martin. The producers pulled some strings, and Martin was able to screen the original movie at his theater. (He later showed up in Sharknado 3.)

“We look for cameos from all areas of pop culture to appeal to every fan watching the movie,” says Josh Van Houdt, Syfy’s vp original co-productions. “Whether we’re casting a professional athlete, reality star, actor, musician or politician, our goal is to include a wide variety of stars for viewers to either get excited about or, on the flip side, witness getting eaten by a shark in a spectacular fashion.”

And so it might have been for our 45th president. “We got pretty far,” says Webb of the Trump negotiations. “It was serious talks.” A contract was drawn up and sent to Trump attorney Michael D. Cohen — the same attorney currently under FBI investigation in connection with the Russia inquiry.

But enthusiasm turned into weeks of silence from the Trump camp. Eventually, a reason for the stalling emerged. “Donald’s thinking about making a legitimate run for the presidency, so we’ll get back to you,” Latt recalls Cohen saying. “This might not be the best time.” With the production clock ticking, Asylum pulled the trigger on a backup plan, offering the role to Mark Cuban — a modest casting coup that Syfy trumpeted with a press release.

“Then we immediately heard from Trump’s lawyer,” recalls Latt. “He basically said, ‘How dare you? Donald wanted to do this. We’re going to sue you! We’re going to shut the entire show down!’ ” Contacted by THR, Cohen acknowledges a dinner with Ziering to discuss casting Trump but says he has no recollection of the angry correspondence.

Webb, now at his own production company, is philosophical about the dustup. “I took it personally, but I get it now,” he says. “That was my moment of doing business with Donald Trump. And that’s Sharknado.”

This story first appeared in the Aug. 2 issue of The Hollywood Reporter magazine. To receive the magazine, click here to subscribe.