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ask-the-splitmind-au · 2 months

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Meet the Gourmand (Splitmind AU)

Reblogs > Likes (Reblogging helps out a lot, even if it doesn't seem like much!)

Sound of body and mind, with a pleasant rotundness.

So I wanted to make Gourm a lot fatter but Im really bad at drawing that.

So instead you guys will have fluctuating fatness depending on whatever is easier for me to draw ;w; (Apologies in advance, trying my best out here)

Tagging Station

@doodlebug091

@keeper-of-magic

@angeliteonfridgeduty

@stupidscav

@batnip <- You can blame them for this one too /pos

@riverripplespeaks

@cherry-b0mber

@luxdraconia

@voldkat

@lunas-sketchbook

Pre - Wind

Gourmand was always an indulgent slugcat. His journeys led him from one place to another, seeking only the finest pleasures of an action-filled life. He was also quite the storyteller, and a father figure to many (both biologically and figuratively). He fondly remembers traveling to both Moon and Pebbles, talking to them the best he could and enjoying every moment of his life.

Gourmand's travels weren't alone most of the time, accompanied by other slugcats, slugpups, and sometimes entire other species seeking safety (scavengers, yeeks, lantern mice, everything). It came as no surprise when he eventually found his way to several other iterators, including Grey Wind.

Now, being both functional and not immediately insulting Gourmand the way Pebbles did, he liked the iterator, despite how serious they were. He found ways to make them laugh or calm them down if they were getting particularly frustrated. Wind also used Gourmand as a sounding board for frustrations, including being upset with the general state of the world around them. They wished they were a simpler creature, like Gourmand, and could enjoy life instead of wasting it in a box.

Enter the Firstborn.

Post - Wind

When the strange slugcat pitched the idea to Wind and gave them the pearl, they were hesitant to do it. Despite complaining, Wind still didn't want to abandon their duties as an iterator. It would be highly hypocritical of them to do so. They also didn't want to be living in Gourmand's head, forever burdening the gluttonous beast with their presence.

In the end, it was Gourmand insisting Wind do it so they could explore the world too, along with Wind realizing several other iterators were no longer able to communicate, something they took as the others doing the same thing they were about to do.

After the process was done, the first thing Gourmand wanted to do was show Wind so many simple pleasures. The warmth of the sun, leaves crunching underfoot, listening to the sounds around you, things an iterator wouldn't be able to stop and take notice of. Wind enjoyed every moment of it, and always encouraged Gourmand to try new things - Even when they backfired (Wind still liked experiencing the pain of being stabbed, bitten, starving, etc, because they wanted everything life had to offer, not just the good stuff).

As the duo explored, they found a few other slugcats with iterators in their heads as well. Namely, Gourmand found what he thought to be a mossball, only for it to suddenly uncurl and don a black cloak before smiling at him pleasantly, with an odd beady yellow pupil. Despite both Mond and Wind being unnerved by the other slugcat, they still talked to them. That's how Gourmand met Saint, and it was only after the first time Saint had ascended. Sliver was quick to talk, and Wind instantly recognized the voice. Being a sliverist themself, Wind wanted to do nothing more than talk to her about what she did, but Sliver simply said that she was busy ascending. She suggested Wind to do the same.

Gourmand ran into the same slugcat many cycles later, except they had a perpetually tired look and more yellow patterns. When he tried talking to them, Saint shut him down hard and fled the scene. Gourmand's always been concerned, wondering about where their furry green friend went and what happened to change their attitude so drastically.

Interestingly, one of the few things the duo don't get along over revolves around the spear Gourmand carries. Wind was never used to walking at all, with the only movement being the puppet in a zero-gravity environment. Suddenly, they were given the ability to pilot an insanely obese slugcat on top of learning how gravity works, and they weren't able to fully adjust to it. When Wind's in control, they prefer use of the walking stick, something Gourmand doesn't particularly want to carry around all the time since his legs do work fine.

#rain world #rain world au #rw #rw au #rain world gourmand #rw gourmand #rain world art #rw art #art #rain world grey wind #rw grey wind #rain world chasing wind #rw chasing wind

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fleouriarts · 6 months

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who are your biggest artistic influences my furry friend? we had art classes together for years but i still feel like i don’t know 😭

😭😭😭 honestly thats probably cus a lot of my artistic influences are specifically internet artists that ive been following for several years and not things i couldve brought up in art class. you know that lame ass mr smith wouldve hated me if i said 'yeah i draw like this cus of some bts fanart girlie on twitter'. thankfully i have the Archivist's Temperament and save like literally everything thats had an effect on my style... so below is a journey thru my artistic influences (and various insp folders on my computer) as far as i can remember

of course the most basal Dorian Influence is disney movies. you are my brother in arms in the lion king fandom so you know this. whenever i am feeling extremely artistically bankrupt i try to revitalize myself by rewatching the lion king, atlantis, and treasure planet. and also the prince of egypt but thats dreamworks LOL

in 2016 i found the first "online" artists i distinctly remember wanting to imitate, which were sara kipin and celia lowenthal because i was obsessed with how they used color to block out their illustrations. ive also been following dimetrodone(/dimetrodrawn/deinocheirus) on here since 2016 and love all the shapes and colors in her work

in 2017 i started doing more detailed shading because i saw bts fanart by the artist tyu_naxx on twitter and loved how they did it (below is like THE piece that made me change my whole shit up)

around then is also when i started trending towards using limited palettes and that was mostly inspired by various national parks promo artworks that would only have like 5 colors in them. wish i remembered who made these but heres ancient scans of some postcards i got at sequoia national park that changed me

in early 2019 i started wanting my style to be more cartoony so i would constantly peruse the backlogs of kiwi, officialspec, skunkes and mimiadraws to get whatever inspiration i could from them

in late 2019 i completely pivoted for some reason and started doing lineless rendered semirealistic stuff instead. i think that was mostly cus i hated doing lineart. one of my biggest inspirations in that era was atissi

in 2020 i remember i went crazy stupid on using glow effects and chromatic aberration on stuff and i genuinely think all of it can be traced to this ONE piece of bts fanart by lordizxy on twitter like i was fully obsessed (putting it below also in case it gets deleted somehow)

mid 2021 was when i got tired of semirealism and thought it was too amorphous and restricting so i went back to cartoony shit. i was still looking at the artists i listed for early 2019 but i also added artists like iplidl, catmunches, and chunkysoup22 to the mix

2022 was an inspirationless nightmare i have no clue what i was doing for that entire year. the artblock was BAD. i mostly just looked at art from all the artists i mentioned before while artistically wandering in circles. a lot of this was me trying and failing to figure out whether i wanted to do more dynamic yet less rendered art or... the opposite of that

thankfully in 2023 i finally FIGURED THAT SHIT OUT. i would say the current dorian art era started with this silly drawing of graydon and riley hivemind as a dogboy and a catboy ⬇️

you can kinda see the influences of all the cartoonists i listed above but a lot of the way i draw now is just. me trying to not make myself hate doing art. ive always hated redoing a line 30000000 times for clean lineart so now its sketchy. rendering my art was making my drawings feel super stiff so now thats all messy too. etc etc

i think Right Now the artists i go to for inspiration the most are still kiwi and skunkes, but i also found the artist robottoast recently who makes RIDICULOUSLY good furry art, its so full of life and personality and i definitely need to commission them someday. the most recent singular piece thats changed my whole shit up is this scott pilgrim fanart by benadieshekiel (also below) because i really liked how the clothes were fully rendered while the skin and hair are less detailed with clear lineart. so sometimes i do that too

ok i think that is as full of a chronicle of Dorian Influences that i can give you rn. i was not lying when i said i wanted to yap. hope you enjoy <3

#ask #saintsdead #also obviously have influences for the themes in my original work but i do not feel like going into all that tbh #how my art Looks is MUCH easier to trace

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sn0tcl0wn · 10 months

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wish and the star boy we never got is proof of my long standing theory that disney (and animation as a whole) needs to bring back cute boys. they stopped featuring them as much back when frozen came out to focus more on famalial love and i respect that. however, that was the tail end of an era where animated movies were almost always guaranteed to have one super cute boy. this was the thing that brought audiences in. i swear to god until i was like 18-19 if an animated movie had a cute boy, i and all my friends were there opening night. a movie could look like pure garbage and if a boy was cute we were there. and of course there are other factors like the other character's designs and music if it's a musical, but cool designs didn't go anywhere and i, as well as many people, can overlook a bad musical if the animated dude is pretty (quest for camelot is a movie that exists). like why do you think anime really became so popular amongst preteen/teenage girls? they'll outright tell you, just go in the tags. it's the cute boys. cute boys bring in audiences.

it's not sexism, it's not heteronormativity, it's not "teaching girls all they're good for is marriage" or whatever the fuck people were complaining about ten years ago when disney made the executive decision to step away from having cute boys and by extension started a trend of studios doing that; it's the simple fact that people, especially girls, tend to like cute animated boys. and yeah people like pretty and cute animated girls too but that's kinda the whole point of disney princesses. we don't even need cute boys as love interests, in movies like treasure planet and rise of the guardians there is no romantic subplot for either of the movies' cute boys. it's just cute boys doing cool stuff with other well designed characters.

i feel the overwhelming response of disappointment when the star boy concept art was released is proof that, at the end of the day, animation fans want more cute boys. and i agree. you wanna actually sell that shit to your main demographic of kids, specifically girls, aged 10 and up? cute boys worked every damn time for decades. it only became less prevalent in the 2010s when people decided we for whatever reason didn't need the cute boys and nixed them completely in an attempt to seem progressive and not "reduce" any girl protags to love interests. which is an awful way to refer to writing a love story btw, we need to work on that because that gets said every time this happens and it's weird people can't fathom a strong, independent girl who also has a boyfriend. and yes, yes it's better if she has a girlfriend but there is still a desire to see a cute boy character on screen. the best animated movies from the 90s-2000s all had them and everyone vividly remembers a time where that drawing was their husband or literally them. it's important for some weird reason for cute animated boys to exist and the star boy proves that these movies would do way better with cute boys.

and the "boy" in question doesn't even need to be human or whatever. you think zootopia sold because the trailers actually looked good? what about sing? god no. no matter how much i like those movies, the trailers made them look like trash, but the power of cute boys prevailed even when the "boys" are a fox and a gorilla.

ik this rant is long and it seems pointless but i feel like i cracked the code for why so many animated movies have been sucking harder than ever and it's because for almost two generations we had cute boys to soften the blow of a bad animated movie and now we have more evidence that they're actively making decisions to cause that. i said this about five years ago when i realized the majority of cute animated boys were furries or anime boys and now i see this star boy shit. and i'd been saying how ugly i think the star is for months beforehand too when merch started popping up.

i just feel like they could have avoided fucking themselves so hard if they just let the cute boy exist. i genuinely feel people would at least be more likely to see the movie but most people didn't even bother and the people who did say don't bother. but if a cute boy was there and they used his song as the trailer? we'd wanna know what this little magic man was about. we'd wanna see how things panned out between him and hero girl. and if it ended up being bad we'd all say "yeah but the designs were good" or some shit and disney would get that sweet, sweet centennial money. but that's not what happened because some moron somewhere decided girls don't want to see cute boys in their princess movies and a chain reaction started that won't stop until disney undoes it and gives us a goddamn cute boy. and that's not even a joke. that's my honest to god theory for how to save mainstream animated movies. we saw a glimpse of this with spider-verse. like those movies ate but a big draw for both of them was the fact that there was a cute boy for everyone to crush or project on. we need cute animated boys now more than ever.

#rant #long post #i sound like a mad man #but hear me out

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keefwho · 6 months

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April 08 - 2024 Monday

10:56pm

6.5/10

This morning I skipped cleaning because I wasn't too convinced anything needed cleaning. I regret this because I feel bad skipping out on a chore like that. Something could have been tidied, I know the toilet needs it for example. I wish I had buckled down and done it, I intend to tomorrow to make up for it. For breakfast I made a rice stir fry using spam, onions, peppers, and an egg. It turned out pretty good.

For work I warmed up with more torsos, focusing on the waist. I worked more on 57's commission and am a little disappointed with how the colors came out but they think it looks good so thats at least part of what matters.

After work I did my workout, I almost did the full 4 miles before my 1:30 cutoff time. I couldn't see the partial eclipse today because it was too cloudy. Mom told me some crazy shit regarding the eclipse, saying it's some kind of sign that the US needs repenting or something. I almost said something to her about it but I chose to only do that if she somehow drags me into it or asks for my thoughts. Otherwise I'll just listen.

For lunch I made the best salami sandwich I've ever made. I cooked everything perfectly and it tasted great.

During my afternoon work I spent my time in TK's server while she, her friend, and boyfriend played PoE together. They thankfully weren't only talking about the game so I actually got to chat with them. This really old game called Douchebag Workout 2 came up which I didn't expect anyone to know and one of the guys started playing the old flash game and screen shared it. I took a long time on today's request, partly because it had a lot of specifics. Then I worked on a meme pic for DS a little before I had to get ready for therapy.

In therapy we talked about how I've been reaching out to others and expanding my social network. He also asked me some important questions and basically validated the kinds of things I've been thinking and plans I've been making, ensuring me that it sounds like a good idea.

After therapy I joined AE and his friend and watched them play games while I worked more on that meme. I left when DS was ready to work on her fursuit. I finished drawing and winded down by watching the furry con videos she had playing. We also watched a little EAH and MH content.

In bed we did our puzzles ez, read a really long MH chapter, and played KH2 as usual. We talked about some things and I got something off my chest that I needed to for awhile. I actually told my therapist earlier about doing that and I didn't think it would happen so soon. I needed it though, that was for my sake. After she fell asleep, I started writing a bunch of stuff down that I need to talk about in the future.

~~~

Today I did well when thinking about defusion. I've started imagining my thoughts in Donald Duck's voice sometimes and it does the trick. It also feels appropriate because in Kingdom Hearts he is one of the main good guys but has been a bit hostile and problematic in the past. My automatic thoughts aren't "bad", but they sure can be unhelpful sometimes. I did a good job being able to focus today. I also just feel kinda good about myself, expressing my thoughts and needs without fear because I know they are valid and that ultimately I'm trying to do whats best for me and the people around me. There is nothing to be ashamed of there, I define that as the mark of a well rounded person.

#journal #diary

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fleshmechsystem · 6 months

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TW: some vaguely body horror description about what I'm currently going through

Patch: Bits of my self are slowly degrading. Seems just appearing, dark blots just appear all over me.

I know symbolism and all that stuff could be seen as fake but... Whenever I find myself being lost or just stressed, I get these dark blots all over myself. Sometimes I see myself having half of my head just gone. The eye and the brain just ripped off, leaving a dark void where it's supposed to be.

Ever since I came to existence there are a lot of challenges still, the fusion of Cal and Max isn't an automatic "Oh that means they won't go struggle now" but that's clearly not the case.

Despite being not human and being a creature that resembles one, I do still struggle by quite a lot.

There were a short handful of times I just saw that old shell of husk with no face. Similar to what happens to me when I'm stressed except the entire face is hollowed out.

It's their body. There was also a time I danced with it as some macabre vision or something. It's really strange.

Right now I'm starting to get over that person I did date (Not Riley but someone else outside the system) although currently I am going through stress from schoolwork being overwhelming and getting triggered again by information that upsets me (mainly stuff I didn't need to see like conservatives being... Themselves and all that).

It's due to this reason I genuinely think this site isn't good for me, I only ever check it for some neat furry drawings I find and all that but otherwise I avoid it.

It even made me think about decommissioning this blog as a result but then decided I shouldn't do that because being the one that fronts the most don't give me a say of what I could do.

This account was made for the system after all. For us to share our lives sometimes and other things whenever we feel like it.

So I can't do that without explicit permission from other members.

Otherwise I'm surviving. Although I do wish I could see the others more, I've been reclusive lately and ironically despite saying I want attention, I'm actively avoiding it.

I'm just tired. I wish the world isn't as scary as it is. I wish I could be a lady without fearing for the possibility of anything happening to me despite being an adult.

Being trans is scary sometimes. I want to be able to support myself without being discriminated against. I want to change my name without being questioned those government dogs.

I'm not paranoid, I'm just not happy with this predicament as a result. We're currently seen as the latest scapegoat in the world right now. Man, woman or anything else really.

So yeah, kinda scared of being publicly feminine despite the voice lol.

I could say more but I would probably sound horrible if I say anything against the people in this country so I'd rather not be childish about it.

Stress makes you feel things you otherwise shouldn't, makes you fear things that won't happen in the coming years.

I'm just not sure if I even would look good as a woman. I feel ugly after using my body for bad people. It's consensual sure but it did dampened my confidence.

I wonder if I'd look stupid. Look like one of those soyjacks those subhuman garbage people draw.

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tits4life · 1 year

Note

yesterday I hadn't offered you goo thoughts

Today? Who knows

Oh no no queen, I'm not scared of hate and shit. Im scared of being lame. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-

Ty for the compliments the toast smiles òuó

I'm mostly in the gungoo for the GOO and the fact their dynamic reminds me of that I have with my own friend who's like my gun haha

Omg the gun slander uhm don't tell anyone but tho I don't HATE gun, man whenever I'm searching my husband up and HE appears instead of him I just want to like *CENSORED DUE TO GRAPHIC VIOLENT* LIKE BITCHASS GUN GET OUT I'M TRYING TO HAVE MY HUBBY

Look I can totally understand the gun appeal,but you know what he's not? He's not semi underrated! My mind automatically not enjoy

Giving up? Oh yeah I gotcha-

When the consequences of your actions are easier to deal with than the action itself

pfft- oh yeah and about this talking habits of mine,, Yknow one time someone told me that I talk like a furry

You know what my reaction was?

"Pfft-"

I like including them in my text, makes my text unique from others >u> (this too. I love it cause it looks like I'm looking sideways and stuff pssht)

speaking of fury which I'm not OH YEAH I HADN'T TOLD YOU MY KITSUNE GOO RAMBLES

But if I begin about it it'll be,,damn long-

And also yipee I love your arts<3<3 I get that, when you don't feel like your drawing good and you try again but the art just not arting--

Ah well I wanna see your artworks too tho >:]!

hail the queen imma spam my rambles

~🍞

Hello Toast!! uhh sorry for not replying to you for 4 days :P I was kinDA buys. I mean I still am but i don't give a shit rn.

ohhhHHHHH Goo ramble. I want goo ramble. I need a power point slide just on Goo. He is so fucking delicious to talk about, I wish the homework was based on Goo instead of fking cartilage, those are only good for crunch.

Lame? Who the fuck thinks you are lame? Clearly they got a brain problem if they do so :]

Gungoo was an immediate ship for me. Their dynamic is so fuking gooddddddd. Husbands fr.

I have mixed feeling with gun. I get that he is hot and what not but whenever I am praying for goo to pop up on lookism, I see those white orbs staring at the depths of my soul and I lose my shit.

YES. WE NEED A WHOLE DIFF FANDOM JUST FOR GOO. WE NEED A GOO EMPIRE. MINIONS FOR GOO!!!!!!!

...

I did give up buttttTTT somethig else happened. We, the whole class, came up with a plan to just not do it. These notes were for practical marks in the final examination. So we thought if the whole doesn't do it then the teacher won't be able to fail all of us. We tHOUGHT we could beat the system🤡. Turns out there was a rat hiding in the class and submitted the work before anyone knew, so the teacher threatened us that he will be calling our parents if we don't complete it under time and that is till tmr. 🤡.

If the consequences was being sent to the principal's office, i would not have give a shit but calling my parents is a bIG NO NO.

That person must have to be furry to know how a furry talks. But honestly I haven't seen a furry talk like that tho

'>u>' this one kinda cute ngl. Pointy eyes.

ohhh kitsune Goo. I am not saying but I would die to just get a brush of his tail. I would. I wish I could touch it.

Oh thank you<3333. I love your little art of Goo's as well 💝💝💝💝💘. I am just severly lacking in motivations rn so I have been experimenting on a bunch of ocs here and there to get out of artblock, which are not really worth posting so imma just tuck them in one corner of my mind.

YOU CAN TALK ABT GOO AS MUCHAS YU LIKE. I ENCOURAGE THIS. TALK MOREEE. SPEAKKK!!!! Althoug I might just dissapear on some bad days but doen't mean I am dead, I will even arise from dead if it means for goo. So please don't ever stop talking abt him.

#~🍞 toast #lookism #I need to sleep but i have so much work left to do

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fools-end-art · 2 years

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3, 9, 11, 12, 13, 16, 19, 20, 29, 30

Oh god. Hi goots. Thanks for all these. Long post ahead :D

3. What ideas come from when you were little?

Not many, actually. When I was little I kind of exclusively painted and drew horses (there was the occasional extremely shitty goat too), which... you don't really see in my art these days

9. What are your file name conventions

I promise like 93% of these actually do still make sense to me. The drawings all titled some variation of "au" was a bad period for me though and I could never can no longer tell them apart by name. Bad choices

11. Do you listen to anything while drawing? If so, what

98% of the time music, and you know what my taste in music is, 2% (milk) of the time I get really zen and work in silence

12. Easiest part of body to draw

Arms, I can consistently draw painless arms that I'm happy with

13. A creator who you admire but whose work isn't your thing

I wish I had a better answer for this one, but no one really? Most work that I really admire is stuff that's kind of similar in some way or another to my own. I don't even mean that in an egotistical way, it's just that the elements in work that I admire are the same elements I strive to put in my own work

16. Something you are good at but don't really have fun doing

Furry porn, apparently

19. Favorite inanimate objects to draw (food, nature, etc.)

Uh. I dunno how much of my art you've looked at. But plants. Twiggy, branchy, twisty, overly detailed plants growing by questionable means is my artistic happy place

20. Something everyone else finds hard to draw but you enjoy

Anything in traditional media Hands I guess? Aforementioned complicated plants? Oh also I've really come around to drawing feet. I finally figured out how to draw em and now I do get some enjoyment out of it purely as like, a flex to myself

29. Media you love, but doesn't inspire you artistically

So it sorta depends--like almost any (non-music) media I really like will inspire at least one piece of fanart, but it's gotta really resonate with me artistically to inspire something original

30. What piece of yours do you think is underrated

All of em. But I'm gonna take the chance to plug this comic because I truly think I put my whole Joeussy into it

Anyway thanks, this was fun, hope it delivers

#this was composed entirely after 9pm and we all know what I'm like after 9pm.#hence the sauce #ask #non-vampiric-chicken #long post

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fakeloveaskblog · 3 years

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Yay lasertag!!! Janus you should totally go visit Remus on the weekend and hang out! Also, maybe invite Remy too, if they wanna come. Then (specially if they don't show) you can plan with them both to maybe go on another hangout with Remus but to somewhere you like and let Remy tag along for the ride if they wanna while u're at it.

(Words: 3153 words)

Janus: "Ah yes! I will let you know that after hanging out with Remus I managed to use my incredible totally very good texting skills to ask the Rems if they wanted to go to an art museum and they both for some reaosn, maybe they are being blackmailed, said yes! I hope it will go g-"

He cut himself off as he saw the two Rems come towards him. He had been waiting outside the museum. (Honestly half the reason he had choosen it was because he knew Remus liked art)

Remus waved at him while grinning. He had on sweatpants, a way too large t-shirt and a necklace made out of animal bones. Remy had their arm swung around him. Even though they had sunglasses on their eyebags were still visible.

“Aight gamers! Are we ready to do an epic art heist!! I got my sunglasses ready!” Remus exclaimed. He didn’t, he was planning on stealing Remy’s sunglasses.

“Partner you’re forgetting that we must first observe the security measures of the museum before we can even start to plan the heist” Janus replied.

“Oh!!! That’s what we’re doing today isn’t it??”

“Correct partner!”

“Babes I dunno why you gotta steal art when I’m standing right here” Remy added while posing.

“Good point. Good point”

Janus had on a yellow bowtie he’d gotten from Logan, a loose purple shirt and black dress pants. People had to look fancy when they went to museums right? Remy had a skirt short enough to fool god and their boyfriend’s hoodie on (it looked oversized on them but with how skinny they were Everything looked oversized on them).

As soon as they got in Remus started to bounce up and down as he looked at the posters showing all the different exhibitions. There was a modern art one, classical and one smaller exhibition for specifically mosaic works.

“So whatcha you wanna look at Snakey?” Remus asked.

Janus was caught of guard “Why are you asking me?”

“Well you chose how we would hang out. C’mon you deserve to choose this too”

He looked over to Remy who shrugged “Uhm okay. Well. The classical paintings would proably give us the most money on the black market so lets look at those”

“Yay!”

Remus quickly took on his noise canceling headphones and a chew necklace before doing thumbs up. He firmly took Janus’ hand in his. He sent him a soft smile which made Jan’s heart spin before dashing of with him into the exhibition.

A few big paintings from the renaissance hung on the wall. Remy came a little later since with the cane they walked pretty slow. Remus eyed the paintings from a distance before squinting at them up close. He flapped the hand he was hoding Janus with around.

"Oh!!! This is so cool!!!! This is from the renaissance but it's not using the chiaro oscuro technique like everyone did 'cause Da Vinci would eat their newborn if they didnt!”

"Is that why it's looking flatter than me?" Remy asked.

“YEah!! Augh I love the renaissance!!! Mostly because they were dissecting bodies so much!! sometimes for the sole purpose of drawing anatomy better!! I wanna do that! Or watch someone do that! Getting to see one of those old classrooms where they dissected corpses would be so awesome!”

“Huh good way to get rid of bodies. Great time for serial killers” Janus commented.

He let out a dreamy sigh “It truly was. They’re doing serial killers dirty nowadays”

They went through some more rooms of renaissance paintings. Janus made sure to hold Remus back a bit so Remy could keep up with them. The duke kept rambling about different shading techniques.

They stepped into another room and the style changed. Remus continued to flap his hand nonetheless. Janus was definitely going to have pain in his wrist tomorrow. It was worth it if he could hold his hand though.

Remy leaned their elbow on top of Janus’ head “This is like the baroque time right?”

“YEah!” Remus’ eyes went huge “Bean you didn’t tell me you were into art history??! Do you know about Ruben too?? I like how he paints butts!”

“What? Nah. I just- I can like see it on the clothes in the paintings. Can’t you?”

“Do I look like a time traveling fashiong guru” Janus replied sarcastically “That is honestly impressive”

Remy sunk in on themself and a hint of red appeared on their cheeks “No. Nah. I’m like a total airhead! Completel idiot! hehe I’m like tots sure everyone knows this stuff. Y’all are just bad at fashion. I uh anyway Rem you were gonna rant?”

“I was?”

“Yeah!”

“Oh....Okay!!” He looked around the room before getting caught on a small painting in the corner. He dashed over to it “HANds!”

The painting depicted 2 bloody hands over a table. They were holding onto each other. the red stuck out against the dark background. It was hard to see if they were supposed to belong to two people who were fighting or in love.

Remus looked down at Janus’ hand while playing with his fingers “I think my favorite body part are hands” He mumbled “I mean they’re horseshit to draw but they can do so much”

Janus looked away from the painting as well. He let his crush do whatever he wanted with his hand as long as he kept holding it. the way he held him so lightly but kept rubbing his thumb up and down his skin made him melt.

“Yeah they can do a lot of fucked up shit” Remy butted in. Jan nearly jumped. He’d completely lost himself in adoring his crush.

“Well hands can also be used to give snakes small berries! And to make coffee!”

“Girl I wasn’t starting an argument. But you sure did won it!”

Remus was staring down into the floor as he said “When I become a cannibal I would wanna try eating human fingers first. I’m sure they would be tasty”

“Why was there a when in there?” Jan asked in a small amount of terror.

“Oh yeah babe totally. I will like actually eat a dick” Remy agreed.

“Why is there a will in there? What kind of time tenses are you people on?? Does english grammar mean nothing to you heathens!?”

Remy got a smug look on their face. They poked their finger right into Janus’ chest “C’mon say what you will eat when you become a cannibal”

“Yeah Snakey” Remus squished his cheeks “Say it! Say it! Say it!”

The two of them kept going on while Janus looked like a sour lemon until he finally caved in.

“Fine. I would either eat the stomach or....the buttocks since they would have the most fat and sustain me the longest”

The Rems looked at each other before bursting out into laughter. “He said butT!” Remus cackled out. The other Rem nodded along and pretended to wipe away a tear from laughter.

“Aight babe let’s put the guy out of his misery”

They motioned for Remus to go ahead. He happily skipped into the next room and grabbed Jan’s hand to take him with him. The snake couldn’t help but notice how Remy stayed behind for a monent.

“Oh cool!! We’re onto impressionism! The first real art style!” He sighed “From impressionism to cartoon furries. How magical the journey of art is”

(Jan who had a scaley phase in high school chose to not reply)

“I love the music as well. Crazy lads. My favorite lad?” Remus snickered “De bussy!!”

“That’s my porn name” Remy instantly replied, coming up behind them. “Hey that paint lady kinda like looks like Terra” They pointed at a painting.

“....Hey YEaH! I guess my art is timeless!”

Janus looked between them “who’s Terra?”

“Well girl” Remy playfully ruffled Remus’ hair “She’s just Rem’s tots cool like cartoon character. She’s like all over his sketchbook. Makes it look kinda straight if you ask me but she does have like a very cool design so I get it!”

“Oh......Yes...Sounds very....cool”

The group kept going around looking at art. While it felt like lead was filling Janus’ chest. He’d never heard about Terra. He’d never seen his sketchbook. Meaning they had spent time with each other without him.

He pierced his nails into his palms to stop the thoughts. He refused to be some jealous person who didn’t allow his friends to hang out without him.....Still he wish he could have seen the drawings as well....seen them smile together...heard their shared laughter....

Oh. Oh what if they thought he was annoying. What if they preferred being without him. What if he’d forced them to come here today. What if-

“Hey snakey wanna look at the modern art as well?” Remus interrupted.

“What?”

Without realizing they’d gone through all of the classic art. Now they were in the last room with not much more than a giant painting the size of one of the walls and a bench.

“That sounds horrid!”

“Yay!”

Remus quickly continued of into the next exhibition. Janus still had the taste of lead filling his throat as he went to follow. Until he realized Remy wasn’t there. He turned around and saw them sitting on the bench in front of the painting. They were leaning their arms on their cane.

“It would probably give us a lot on the black market” Jan said while sitting down beside them.

“Mhm. It’s pretty. I just like wanted to look at it some more” They lied.

“Understandable”

The painting was pretty much a big flower field with a summer sky shining down on it. Janus noticed how Remy forced deep breathes through their gritted teeth. Their brows were furrowed and their hands kept shaking.

“Are you alright?”

“Of course!”

“I have some painkillers with me. Would that help agains the pain you’re totally not in?”

They glanced over to him “Girl what you doing walking around with painkillers?”

He looked at them with the most deadpan expression “Remy I’m overweight. You can not phantom how often I get knee pain" He took out a pill and held it out to them "Here"

"There's really like no need! I can like handle it"

Even more deadpan "You shouldn’t have to ‘handle it’. It's 1 painkiller dear. I'm not exactly becoming a saint because of this"

They hesitantly took it "Thanks"

He did fingerguns "No problemo"

They stayed sitting for a bit so the pill could kick in. Jan shuly glanced over to admire them every now and then. Remy kept looking down into the floor while picking at their skin.

“I’m sorry” They said it in a much quieter voice than their usual high pitched one “I tried to do everything right so I wouldn’t ruin everything. I even went to bed early so I wouldn’t get tired....I...I really looked forward to getting to be with you two”

Janus heart beat faster. He pulled himself together to comfort them “You haven’t ruined a thing”

They hid their face in their hands “I’ve been tired and out of it all day. I keep like slowing you down. Don’t think I haven’t like noticed how much you have to hold Rem back from going faster! I’ve just been making this all much worse than it should have been”

“Well you’re here aren’t you? I for one appreciate you simply being here. You don’t have to do anything to make me appreciate you, don’t even have to talk. I hope you know that”

“....really?”

“Oh no darling I totally expect you to win the nobel prize while in a kind of pain I can’t even imagine being in on a daily basis”

Remy chuckled “Thanks”

“There’s really no need for that. I am at any and all times doing the absolute minimum to be counted as a decent human being”

“Sure snakey-babey” They had a soft smile on their face.

They moved to hug him. Their arms wrapped around his back and they muffled their head right between his man titties. Janus sat still for a few seconds, too flustered to think before moving his arms around them as well. A hand on the back of their head, another on their lower back. Their skin felt so cold against his.

Remy closed their eyes and let themself calm down. They could feel Janus’ breathing against their hair.

“I think my fav like human part is the chest” They mumbled out “‘Cause I can hear the heart beat. It reminds me I’m- we’re still like alive”

“Like a bloody biological seashell”

“Exactly” They pressed themself closer. “I like being with you” It was nothing more than a whisper, like it was a secret “When you’re here I feel a bit less like a rotting corpse”

Janus held onto them harder “Well I-I try my best”

“I know babe”

His heart was beating out of his chest. The people around them must think they were a couple. He closed his eyes and focused on Remy’s touch, on Picani’s words from their last session. He managed to push enough of the shame away and focus on the happy butterflies in his stomach instead.

Remy moved away. The moment broke.

“We should probs go find Rem before he starts like eating the art”

“haha yeah” Janus did thumbs up but kept sitting. He’d gone full idiot.

It wasn’t until he saw Remy straining to stand up even with the cane his brain kicked back in.

“Is there some way I could help?”

They didn’t answer. But they did lean their arm around his shoulder to let him carry some of their weight. They slowly but surely made their way to the modern art exhibition.

Remus was sitting crosslegged in front of a weird statue, he was doodling in his sketchbook but shone up into a smile when he saw them.

“There you are! I was starting to think that either the zombie apocalypse had started or you were making out somehwere”

“Oh yeah babe. Full tounge” Remy joked back. Jan let out an inhumane noise.

He closed his sketchbook “I think we’re done here. You’re looking tired beanie. We can come back some other day”

Remy held back the urge to lie that they were fine. Instead they weakly nodded.

The gang left the museum. Right beside it was an ice cream shop. Remus got 3 scoops of a worryingly weird mix of flavors. Janus got 1 scoop of lemon. Remy didn’t feel like eating.

They sat down on a couple of benches right outside. Remy laid down with their head leaned onto Remus’ thigh. He chewed his ice cream while calmly moving his hand up and down their back.

Soon enough they were deep asleep. Janus quickly laid his jacket over their legs. He didn’t want to accidentally see anything under their skirt without their consent.

Remus stared at him like a blood sucking eagle while smiling “Soooo now when beanie is in dream land.......Do” He stopped to giggle “Janny. Janny. Do. Do you like someooooonnneee??”

Janus just blinked at him for half a minute. This was too much. This whole day was too much. He was a wreck. His crush was asking him THis?! While his other crush was laying in his crush’s lap?!?

“Why- Why- What- Who are you working for?! The fucking FBI??? Are they after me?” He desperately tried to joke it away.

“No. No. But seriously JanJan!” He wiggled his shoulders around in a stimmy way “Do you happen to like anyone with a name that starts on R????”

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Janus kept glancing between his two crushes while his blushing could be seen out into space. He wanted to lie but his mouth wouldn’t move.

Remus leaned closer and whispered “You’re into Remy right?”

He nodded. A breathe of relief went through him. At least Remus didn’t know he liked him.

“OH I KNEW IT!” Remus yelled out in excitement while flapping his hands.

“Shh! Shh!” Janus scrambled to cover his mouth as Remy stirred for a moment. “Shhhh!” They cuddled closer to their friend and fell back asleep.

“I knew it!” He giggled “Or I mean Remy knew. They told me they thought you were into them”

“WHAT?!”

Now it was Remus that covered his mouth. He was full on cackling “Yeah! They said it was really obvious! But good for you snakey! I’m sure if you murder their boyfriend you can get them in no time! Or you can become a fab homewrecker!! I can help you buy a nice sexy dress and all!!”

Janus paled in terror “How- In- What- In what way did they say it was obvious?”

“Oh y’know-”

The notif on his phone went off. He checked and his eyes went wide. He carefully moved Remy’s head onto the bench before standing up.

“Sorry snakey! Ro needs super duper emergency help! Gotta go!! See you later! Don’t die!”

Remus left him just like that. Right after dropping THAT bomb on him. Janus sat unmoving. His mouth was slightly agape in shock. His thoughts were runnig around screaming nonstop.

He sat like that for over 20 minutes until Remy let out a yawn and slowly woke up. They took off their sunglasses to rub their eyes. Just seeing their vibrantly green eyes made Janus panic even more.

“Did Rem disintegrate?” Their voice was hoarse from sleepyness. Janus pinched himself to hold back the uhm feelings.

“He- he uh he went he went he sure did went yeah”

“....Cool!”

They stretched their joints, they all cracked. They looked to Janus and moved closer. He couldn’t breathe. They knew. They knew. They knew.

“Girl are you feeling okay?” They pressed their palm to his forehead “You’re like super hot. In both ways! Maybe you should like go home and rest. I gotta get home before my boyf gets home anyway”

“Y-yeah” Was all Janus could get out.

“Cool. OH! By the way! Girl!!! We haven’t like hung out just the two of us right?? We should tots do that! Just like tell me whatever you wanna do and we can do it!”

“Yeah”

“Awesome! Well I’ll see you on that hang out then”

They hugged him for just a few seconds but for those seconds Janus felt like he was in heaven.

They got up and left. Janus slumped over on the bench. His heart was going crazy. They knew. They knew and now they wanted to hang out alone with him. He turned to you. His eyes were wide and panicked.

Janus: “W-what am I supposed to do? I don’t know any good hang out plans! Do you know any??? I’m- this is all- how did they even know I like them! Oh I’m sounding like an overdramatic 13 year old.....This totally isn’t really overwhelming. I would hate getting Logan cuddles right now!”

#thanks for the ask!!#im sorry these keep getting longer #i really do try to cut them down #dukeceit #demus #janus sanders #remus sanders #remy sanders #mini fic #sanders sides #desleep #desleepmus #dukeceitsleep

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snarktheater · 3 years

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Ready Player Two — Chapter 18

Last time: Wade got another shard, found out that the next one was on the educational planet that Wade didn't want to return to, and also some romantic teasing between him and Samantha that I really wish had included more decapitations.

And now, as promised, our protagonists teleport to Halcydonia, in a tree house Wade received for "completing educational quests" as a kid. I'm not going to question using video game quests for educational purposes, because I think it could work, but the tree house? Given everything we know about the OASIS, I think that would cramp up the space really fast. Plus, logistics aside, there's a tiny thematic problem here…

[Kira and Ogden] cooked up the Be-Free Treehouses as a way to give kids around the world a free, happy, virtual home inside the OASIS that they could always escape to, and find themselves surrounded by an endless assortment of furry friends and anthropomorphic animal teachers who were always overjoyed to see them, and who just wanted to teach them how to read, write, spell, and do arithmetic, all while staying physically fit and being kind to others.

Like, how does this fit in with the whole "escapism is bad" theme exactly, when the most you do for children is give them an escape in virtual world? When Wade did it, I could have taken it as the protagonist making a mistake he'll learn from, but it gets harder to buy when you also have these characters (who have repeatedly been framed as the good people counterparts to Halliday) do the same.

Being able to put on my OASIS visor and be transported to the magical kingdom of Halcydonia was one of the things that kept me sane […] And it did the same thing for millions of other kids around the world.

I rest my case.

Anyway, Wade implied some trauma related to this place, and well, he recounted to us his mom's entire history of suffering with depression and addiction earlier in the book, so you can guess why that is. And if you can't, don't worry, Wade confirms that that's exactly it: he came here to escape from that, and his mom would join him to hang out here rather than in the real world.

I was too busy teetering on the verge of an emotional breakdown, as I took a long look around the room.

But don't worry, he's not too on the verge of a breakdown to stop from telling you all the references he made in decorating this place, because this book loves nothing more than telling rather than showing. And, well, I just think it's kind of odd that these references, 11-year-old-Wade's interests, which 100% predate his mom's death, and thus the Hunt, which sparked Wade's interest in 80s pop culture, are also 80s pop culture stuff.

Oh, the book explains it, mind you. Heaven forbid this book has a plot hole, so it's excused as Ogden and Kira putting those things on Halcydonia and exposing the kids to it. But my issue, thankfully, doesn't lie there: my issue is that this still clashes with Wade's motivations as explained in book one, even though he would have desperately benefited from already being invested in 80s culture before the start of the Hunt. I wrote a whole post about that so I won't repeat myself here, but this is a strange thing to retcon in. Plus, it just diminishes the impact of the Hunt not just on Wade but on the world, because the claim was that the Hunt introduced many people to 80s culture, but now you're claiming that kids raised with the OASIS were already raised with that culture essentially from birth, so what gives?

And thematic muddling aside, I just think it's kind of lazy. This was one opportunity to reference literally anything else, to maybe show a different Wade, before the Hunt, to showcase some other nerd culture that Ogden and Kira might have liked, but not Halliday, and you just…didn't.

The walls of my treehouse were covered with old drawings and artwork that my mother and I had created together. Lots of knights and wizards. And Ninja Turtles. And Transformers.

What better way, though, for the book to accidentally highlight how static its protagonist is, than to tell us that no, actually, Wade has always been this way, and his mother's death, the subsequent trauma, and his newfound purpose through the Hunt? None of that actually changed him on any fundamental level.

Samantha's the only one who realizes something's up, mostly because the book has decided that she should have empathy, because even I, reading Wade's narration, couldn't figure out that something was up except for the line where he told me so.

This leads to Wade trauma-dumping to his friends. I know, I'm using the buzzphrase on purpose, but he is literally infodumping about his trauma.

“You guys should know something,” I said. “I had a nervous breakdown the last time I visited this planet. That’s why I haven’t been back in so long.” They all studied my face to see if I was kidding, and saw that I wasn’t. “I was eleven years old at the time,” I said. “And my mother had just died of a drug overdose a few days earlier. I went back to Halcydonia because my mom and I had spent so much time here together. I thought it might bring me some comfort, but it didn’t. It just pushed me over the edge.”

And that's literally it. His friends comfort him and tell him he's not alone, and Wade moves on to talk about the Shard clue. You really delved deep into your character's psychology for that one, didn't you.

The clue leads to the queen of the land of math, which would take them hours to get to since teleportation is forbidden here. Even to admins? That seems like questionable design. But don't worry, Wade already knows a shortcut. God, I'm so glad we don't have anything challenging to deal with.

As they leave, Samantha ambushes Wade to give him a hug, all the while Wade worries about her seeing him cry and uses his emotion-suppressing software to ensure she doesn't, because this man totally has his priorities straight. And because the book has its priorities straight, instead of delving into those emotions, or Wade's repression, we get an infodump about how Wade used the ONI to try heroin and find out what his mom was hooked on.

Doing a drug via ONI playback wasn’t the same as shooting it into your own bloodstream. It felt the same, but it didn’t cause the same long-term damage or physical addiction symptoms.

Okay, but addiction is psychological in a lot of cases, right? Hell, Wade was talking about his own addiction to social media at the start of the book. Wouldn't the ONI be more than capable of getting you hooked on substances, even without the physical addiction? Especially a person like Wade who already has addictive tendencies?

Well, whatever, the book doesn't know that, and that's apparently all we get in terms of catharsis, because the hug ends and I guess Wade feels better now that he got a hug and that Samantha is holding his hand.

Our protagonists get moving, which means more descriptions of all the educational minigames at hand, and in particular Wade's shortcut, which is just…a flying car that you can summon by singing a children's song. I have no idea why they couldn't just use their regular OASIS transportations if that's allowed, but whatever. This leads to more sightseeing, since the car is meant for exploration purposes (in an educational sort of way), and Wade feeling nostalgic about the place.

I caught myself smiling too. I didn’t realize how much I’d missed this place. Why had I spent so much time running away? It felt genuinely good to be back here, despite the circumstances.

Is his trauma is cured already? You know what, good. I'm glad it's that simple.

After that, they reach Halcydonia City, enter it by solving a simple math problem, and run into characters from the movie Rain Man, all tapping out MORSE in, well, Morse code, which is strange because it's an R-rated movie and these characters should absolutely not exist on this kid's planet.

But Wade decides to practice the phrase "no thoughts, head empty" and ignore the incongruity while heading to Castle Calculus, the queen's domain. Since Wade completed all her quests as a kid, he can get an immediate audience with her and ask for her help finding the shard.

“The shard was given to me for safekeeping, a long time ago. I wondered if anyone would ever show up here looking for it, and now here you are, at long last. But before I can give it to you, you’ll need to earn all fifty Halcydonia Wearit-Merit Badges.”

Oh no, that sounds like a probl—never mind, Wade already has the badges because he got them as a kid with his mom's help. Well, that was easy.

No, really, this is it. He hands his badge sash to the queen, and it turns into the Fourth Shard. And like, if you didn't want to make seven challenges for the characters to solve, you could have picked a different number. Or you could have done without the time limit that forces each challenge to take a ridiculously small amount of in-universe time.

Yes, I'm once again expressing my suspicion that not an ounce of structural editing was done to this book.

This shard comes with a flashback of Kira coming up with the design of Halcydonia Interactive, the company she and Ogden founded after they parted ways with Halliday. It is three paragraphs long, and once again, is only a dry description of the event. Like yep, she sure drew the design then showed it to Ogden who liked it. Thanks. I know so much more about her now that this was turned into a flashback.

Seriously, this is starting to be a problem.

As for the clue, well, the book spoiled itself, because it's another symbol. Namely, the symbol Prince used to stylize his own name. Which I may not have recognized on sight if, for those keeping score, the book hadn't featured a Prince quote (and this symbol) at the start of Level Five. Though even if I hadn't recognized it, Aech does instantly, so it probably wouldn't make a difference.

Also, yeah, I'm just going to pause on that for a moment, that Aech, the one main character who is queer and black (or even just one of those) is the one who recognizes Prince. And that similarly, the challenge Shoto helped with was the one to do with Japanese video games. I don't know, I just. Think it's interesting is all.

So yeah, Aech is a big Prince fan. And she also immediately whines that Wade wouldn't watch Purple Rain with her, and accuses Wade of it being because it would make him sexually confused.

The old Wade would have denied this. But like I said, the ONI had broadened my horizons. Enough, at least, for me to recognize the truth about my adolescent self.

Boo. Boring. Give me an in-depth look into the fluidity of human sexuality. Or at least canon bisexual Wade Watts. Not this bullshit.

…On second thought, though, I'm gonna speak for all bisexuals and say we do not want Wade Watts. The straights can have him.

“There is an entire OASIS planet devoted to Prince, his life, his art, and his music. But we don’t call it ‘the Prince planet.’ Its name is an unpronounceable symbol. The symbol on that shard. But you can refer to it by its nickname, ‘The Afterworld.’”

So. It's named the Afterworld. I assume the rest of that was some kind of reference, but like, this is very much a name.

So it's off to the Prince planet, except Wade suddenly remembers Ogden might have come here before Anorak pulled him out of the OASIS, and hey, weren't there NPC that were out of place here? I know, it was so subtle, especially after the book went out of its way last chapter to tell us about clues left by Ogden.

But what the hell was he trying to say?

Well, I'm sure you'll figure it out exactly when you need it, with information that won't have been made privy to us ahead of time.

Before they can leave, they also get a message from Faisal, asking to meet at the GSS headquarters so Anorak can't eavesdrop.

Sure enough, as soon as we took our seats, Faisal told us he had “even more bad news to share.” But as he began to relay it, it quickly became clear that “bad” wasn’t a strong enough adjective, and that “downright apocalyptic” would have been far more accurate.

You know this is a book and you don't need to end a chapter with a dramatic one-liner, right?

But hey. We're getting a reprieve from the quest. Maybe. I honestly can't tell if that's good or bad.

#ready player two #st: ready player two #ernest cline #book review

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demoisverysexy · 3 years

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An Open Letter to the Person who Blocked Me for Being Mormon

For context:

If you’re reading this, I hope it finds you well.

This letter is mostly for me, so I can get my feelings out. I’ve already talked about this with a few of my friends, and I’m feeling better than I was than when you blocked me. I’m still upset. Mostly because of general trends I see on tumblr of hatred for Mormons. A lot of it comes from ignorance and misunderstanding. Some of it comes from a place of genuine hurt that can’t go unaddressed. I don’t want to be dismissive of those who have faced trauma at the hands of my church. I am one of those people, and I know how deeply pain associated with my church can be. After our interaction, I felt that talking about it would help me process this.

Before I go on, I must be clear that this is not an attempt to get you to unblock me. As nice as it would be to be able to see your blog again – you’re very witty, and I enjoy your content! – I can live without it. This is more a response to the trend on tumblr specifically of hatred against Mormons, and assuming that they’re all bad people who are complicit in every single bad thing that the church does. You just happened to force me to be a little introspective about my church and my relation to it. Thank you for that.

First, however, I would like to clear up some misconceptions:

Your initial joke that prompted me to tell you I was a Mormon was a joke about Mormons and polygamy. The largest two organizations that can be classified as “Mormon,” The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and the Community of Christ (which incidentally allows for gay marriage and has female clergy, though I am of the LDS sect), both disavow polygamy. There are other, smaller offshoot Mormon groups who do still practice this, which is where horror stories of polygamists marrying teenagers arise. These people are also Mormons, though I wish they weren’t, in the same way that problematic Christian groups are Christian, though many Christians wish they weren’t.

I do recognize that mainstream Mormonism has been labeled as a cult by many people, though the reasons people provide generally don’t hold up. Often the proof that people provide of my church’s cult-like nature is to take note of corruption that can be found in almost every church. These issues – such as racism, homophobia, and misogyny, to name a few – while real and important to address do not a cult make. Sometimes the proof is to point towards practices that are demonized in my church, but are practiced in other religions with no comment, or even celebration. Other times people will point to their own experiences with toxic church congregations, and while those issues are very real, they are by no means universal. My experience growing up Mormon was a lucky one in many ways. I personally don’t think that most people who study my church from an academic vantage point would call it a cult. I would consult them on this matter. After all, someone in a cult is rather hard-pressed to be able to tell whether they are in one or not.

Another point often levied against Mormonism is how it leaves its queer members with religious trauma due to its homophobic teachings. I understand this well. I have experienced deep religious trauma associated with my political stances in favor of LGBTQ+ rights (though that wasn’t the whole story). I won’t go into detail about this right now, but suffice it to say, I had a very traumatic time on my mission that led me to a very dark place, and ended with me contemplating choices I would never be able to take back. I’m fine now of course, but I carry those memories with me.

So why would I stay despite all this? Is it because I’m brainwashed? You would have to ask a psychologist about that, but I would say probably not. I knew, and know now, that the ways I was being treated were unfair and wrong. I don’t have time to go point by point to address every grievance I or anyone else has with my church and explain my position on it, as much as I would like to clear the air once and for all on this topic so there is no misunderstanding. Here’s the reasoning that has kept me here so far:

I think that every person of faith must, at some point, deal with the problematic aspects of their church’s history and doctrine. This comes with the territory. Whether it be disturbing stories in scripture, imperialist tendencies, doctrines that chafe against us, or problematic leaders, no person of faith is exempt from wrestling with the history that accompanies their faith. I have studied my church’s history in depth. Many of the horror stories I heard were provably false. Many were true. Where does that leave me?

I believe that God is bigger and better than us. We make terrible, awful mistakes all the time. But I don’t think that makes God less willing to work with us. If anything, I think it means he wants to help us more. He wants to help us move past our histories and become better. My church has a long way to go in this regard. For too long we have been silent when it mattered, and people have been wounded by our silence. Or even the words we have said out loud! If you look at my Mormonism tag on my blog, you will see some examples of what I am talking about. I have been wounded by the things my church has said and not said. It hurts awfully, and I ache for those who have been wounded more deeply than I.

But at the same time, I cannot deny the healing my faith has brought me. Whatever problems my church has – and it has many, deep and pressing issues – it is because of my faith that I am the person I am today. I can draw a straight line from my religion to the positions I hold today. Because I am a Mormon, I became a Marxist. Because I am a Mormon, I became nonbinary. Because I am a Mormon, I became a leftist. I cannot ignore that my religion, flawed as it may be, has led me to where I stand now. I am at the intersection of the hurt and healing the church offers. It is a difficult line to walk. But I hope that in walking it, I can bring healing and love to those who hurt in the ways I do. To let them know that they are not alone, and that they have a friend who can help them wherever they choose to go.

Yes I am queer. Yes I am a Mormon. I am here because I am trying to fix things. If at some point in the future I realize that I cannot change things, perhaps I will leave. I hope it does not come to that. And things are changing. They have changed before, and they can change now. I am confident that my God is willing to lead my church where it needs to go. I hope I can help speed things along. We shall see.

But spreading unequivocal hatred and disdain for Mormons does not help those of us who are Mormon who are trying to fix things. Yes, those who have left Mormonism due to trauma need a safe place to be away from that, and acknowledging the church’s many faults can be helpful to those people. I myself have criticized my church quite vocally. But refusing to listen to the stories of those of us who choose to stay, telling others that we are evil or stupid or what have you, is also quite traumatic to us. We are people too, with thoughts and feelings. It is easy to dismiss us out of hand if you assume we aren’t.

I try to be open about my religion and political stances on my tumblr. See for yourself: It’s a mix of Mormonism, LGBTQ+ activism, Marxism, and pretty much every other leftist political position you can find. Along with all the furry stuff, of course. But despite all this, I am still terrified every time someone follows me to tell them I am Mormon. More than I am to tell them that I’m queer. Tumblr is not representative of how things work in the “real world,” of course, but I have received hatred for being a Mormon there as well. And it’s mostly other Christians. So on the one hand I’m hated by LGBTQ+ folks, on the other hand I’m hated by my church for being queer, and on the third hand (as apparently I have three hands), I am hated by other Christians. I do not face hatred to the same degree from other Christians. I saw it most on my mission. But still, it exists.

(Incidentally, Evangelicals, who you seem to have problems with, and perhaps rightly so, though I have not done a study of the matter myself, largely despise Mormons, from what I have heard. Something to consider.)

I want allies. I want help. I want understanding. If I am to push back against bigotry in my church, I need your help. I need everyone’s help. Fighting bigotry wherever we see it is a worthy pursuit, I think. And if we can succeed, we can make the world a better, safer happier place. I want to fight off the ghosts that haunt my church. You don’t have to fight them with me, but I would appreciate it if I could have your support. It would make my job much easier.

We aren’t enemies. At least, I don’t think you’re my enemy. We both have been hurt by homophobia and bigotry. We live in a capitalist hellscape where police brutality and racism are on the rise. Fascism is looming over the political backdrop, along with the ongoing threat of ecological disaster. I think we would be better off helping each other than going after each other. I ask that you please listen to us when we say you are hurting us. The Mormons you blocked knowingly followed you, an openly queer person who calls out racism and bigotry and pedophilia. Yet you assume we are in favor of those things. Someone can at once be part of an institution while recognizing it’s flaws. (Aren’t we both Americans? Why not move if we hate it so much?) And perhaps we have used the “No true Scotsman” fallacy to justify why we stay. I don’t believe I have. I don’t feel I need to.

I hope that you consider what I’ve said here. I hope we can work together. And I hope that no matter what, you find peace wherever you end up.

Yours truly,

Demo Argenti

#religion #leftism #mormonism #LGBTQ stuff #marxism #racism #misogyny #feminism #homophobia #queerstake #shouting into the void #ok to rb

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somethinginthethunder · 4 years

Text

dumb with love [joe mazzello x reader]

I loST THE FIRST VERSION OF THIS SO I’M SORRY THIS IS LATE. Also, I’m back!! I’m so sorry for that really long hiatus.

I hope this is good. I haven’t written for Joe in such a long time, so he might be a little out of character, and my writing is just really bad and rusty :’)

Hope you enjoy, though! Feel free to drop a like or reblog, idk.

Also!! I obviously don’t know where Joe lives, so don’t attack me for saying he lives in an apartment. This is for the sake of the fic!!

Plot: a misplaced letter sparks what seems to be a friendship (?) between you and the boy next door.

Word Count: 2,800

Warnings: none, except I haven’t reread this or edited (sorry).

---

“Hades, time to go inside,” you mumbled, tugging on the leash lightly.

The goofy schipperke made its way back to you, allowing slack on the leash that held him to you. His nose rubbed against your hand, signalling he was ready to move.

You clutched the coat against you. It was cold for some reason. You had just gotten back from work, and decided to take Hades out for a bit of a long walk.

When you returned to the apartment building, you had decided to check you mail. You knew there wouldn’t be much, but it wouldn’t hurt to check, obviously.

To your surprise, there was more than usual in your mail box. You pulled a small package out and let Hades hold on to it, collecting the rest for yourself. As you walked to your room via elevator, you decided to check through while you weren’t doing anything else.

And, curiously, as you were exiting onto your floor, there seemed to be one letter out of place. It was not addressed to you, but to a certain Joe Mazzello, your neighbor.

Now, you lived at the end of the hall, and Mazzello lived right next to you. Across from you was the cleaning closet. Had you seen your neighbors very much? No, admittedly. Perhaps you had seen him once or twice.

Of course, you weren’t going to keep the mail from him, so, as anyone would, a return would be in order. But, for now, you were going to drop your mail and Hades off.

Oddly, the universe seemed to want to put your plans off a little.

Right next to you you could hear the click of a lock. Turning your head, you realized someone had left the apartment next to you. He was a young man, with auburn hair and hazel eyes. His hair was a little messy, but his aura was casual and friendly. Was he Joe? Most likely.

“Oh,” you said. Oh??? OH? Outstanding conversation starter, [y/n].

“Oh?” the stranger echoed, just realizing your presence next to him.

You cleared your throat, a bit embarrassed.

“Sorry, but are you Joe Mazzello?” you asked.

For some reason, that made him break out into a smile. “Yeah, that’s me!”

Relief washed over you for a moment. “Great! Sorry- does that sound weird? It’s just- I think I got one of your letters by mistake,” you said, stumbling over your words. If you could only choose one moment in your life to facepalm, it would be right at that moment.

“Really? That’s pretty weird,” he, Joe, commented, taking the letter that was presented to him by you.

“Yeah,” you agreed.

This left you in a quiet, awkward position. Neither of you knew how to comfortably continue the conversation. Thankfully, Hades didn’t seem to care, as he got impatient. Whining, he pawed at the door to be let in, dropping the package he was tired of holding.

“Ah, I should probably go. Enjoy your mail,” you coughed, opening your door for your furry friend.

“Definitely. Thanks for returning it!” Joe grinned, finishing locking his door.

“No problem.”

And that seemed like the end of the conversation. Until-

“Wait,” he suddenly said.

You turned back to face him, your hands lingering on the door and entry way. “What’s up?”

“I didn’t get your name,” he murmured, now standing to face you completely.

Something about that gave you a bit of a light and friendly feeling. Almost comfortable, despite being strangers.

“I’m [y/n] [l/n],” you said, reflecting his smile.

“Cool, cool,” he responded. “I’ll see you around then, [y/n],” he beamed.

You hoped that statement to be true when you bid farewell to each other and parted ways.

You just didn’t expect it to be so soon afterward.

The cafe was quiet and peaceful. You were responding to a client’s email on your phone, sipping your drink. In your mind, you had decided to leave and return home in maybe ten minutes. But, once again, the universe seemed to foil your plans again.

“[y/n]?”

The sound of his voice, and your name, of course, made your head shoot up suddenly in its direction. There he was, clad in a dark shirt, jacket, and jeans. In his hand was a cup of what looked like coffee, his other hand stuffed into his pocket.

Shutting off your phone, you suppressed an unusually large smile. He was just your neighbor, no need for a smile so big.

“Joe! Hey, take a seat if you want!” you greeted back. He took the seat across from you gratefully.

The conversation that followed lasted, what? Ten minutes? Thirty minutes? No, it was more like an hour, which was strange for someone like you. You had decided to talk about some mundane things, like the weather and how your guys’ day was. Turned out he had just come back from a meeting. And that had pulled in the topic of jobs.

“What do you do?” he asked, genuinely curious.

“I’m a photographer, actually. What about you?”

“Ooh, I’m an actor.”

Oh, now that really started the conversation. As time passed, you became even more comfortable with each other. He was an actor? Now, how was that not supposed to be interesting?

“Wait, really? Was that what the meeting was for, then?” you asked, a little shocked by his modest answer. He seemed proud, that wasn’t a lie, but in no way was he boasting.

“Yeah! I got to meet all my co-stars, so that was pretty fun,” he answered. “What about you? You said you were sending emails?”

“Yeah, kind of boring, but it was just for an appointment I had just finished. I need to get them all done since I’m going away for a couple of weeks.”

“For what?”

“Just visiting family. Kind of like a reunion,” you replied. In reality, you grandmother was sick, but you didn’t feel like it was too important of a detail. Besides, the pity you get from just that statement was a little tiring.

“I bet your dog, Hades, right? Will have a fun time somewhere new, then!” he beamed.

In return, you gave him a bit of a sad smile. “He would, wouldn’t he? But he’s not coming. Travelling stresses him out, so I’d rather not move him unless it was necessary,” you clicked your tongue. “In fact, I still have to find him a dog sitter. Everyone I know is busy so-”

“I’ll watch him!’ he offered immediately.

That made you pause for a moment. “Are you sure? I mean, he’s no trouble at all, but still-”

“Yeah, I’m sure,” he said, a confident sound in his voice. “We haven’t started filming yet, and the project is still new for us. Besides, he sounds like a pretty fun dog to be around.”

You laughed at that statement. “Yeah, he is. I’m leaving in a few days, but if you change your mind, you can tell me. I can really just hire some random dog sitter near me or something.”

��Nonsense, it’ll be fine!” he reassured you, drawing out the “fine” as if it had a million letters in it.. At that moment, he took a quick look at the time. “Look, i’ll give you my number and we can talk about it, okay?” he offered.

The thought of giving him your number made you feel as if you heart had been filled with clouds. How strange, as you had only met a few weeks before.

“I- okay, sounds good. Thank you again! And here,” you held out your phone to him with an open contact, to which he exchanged his number with you.

And only moments after that, though he insisted he really did not want to end this conversation, he decided it was time for him to head out. The cafe closed early that day, and he had to drop by a friend’s house that day to pick something up. However much you didn’t want to admit it, you wished you could talk with him more, but you also had things to do as well, such as pack, plan, and give attention to Hades.

With that, you bid farewell again and parted ways.

While texting, he made conversation easy, and made everything seem comfortable to you. Now, you had started developing some type of feelings, but there was no way they were real, right? Must’ve been just a little crush that would wear off in about a week or two when you’re away.

You had talked about the details with taking care of Hades, and when the day came to leave, you unfortunately had to say goodbye to your lovely little boy.

“Bye, sweetheart. I’ll be home before you know it,” you cooed, scratching his head as Joe held the door open to bring his stuff in. It was early in the morning for everyone. He was wearing a plain white shirt and what looked like old shorts, looking as though he had just woken up, which he probably did. Your flight was early, but he insisted he was fine with the hours.

Standing up, you looked up at the boy next door once again.

“You sure you’ve gotten everything?” you asked, slightly worried.

“Don’t worry about it, [y/n]. We’ll have fun, okay? Now, you have some too. I’ll send you pictures even,” he reassured you, a lazy smile on his face. He did that a lot, didn’t he? Smile like there was no problem in the world? It was almost like a domestic sight.

“Thanks, Joe. Really, I’ll pay you right when I get home and-”

“Woah, woah, woah. Who said anything about paying?” he snorted. “This is a favor. Now go, you’re gonna miss your flight!”

Taking one last look, you gave him a quick smile, and a kiss to Hades’ forehead before leaving onto the elevator.

While you were away in [y/s], Joe had kept his word. Everyday he had texted you goofy pictures of him and Hades, whether it be with him looking over the counter longingly at a piece of meat Joe was eating, or him bounding across the park with Joe’s cheerful commentary in the background.

And, to make it even better, Joe had started talking to you outside of the topic of Hades. He would strike up conversation every now and then (and even you would, too), or start asking about your day after sending a video of you goof of a dog trying to play hide and seek with Joe.

It was nice, making you feel like he really did care about knowing you, besides talking about your dog and polite conversations. Eventually, a week in, the conversations became anything. Whatever you felt like talking about, you talked about it. Like why Pringles cans were shaped the way they were, why the letter w isn’t ‘double-v’ instead. It made you excited to come back home besides seeing your pup again.

While sitting with your grandmother in the hospital room, you had gotten a message from Joe. As she was still asleep, you decided to open it. It was a simple video, with Hades rolling around the house, to which Joe described as “trying to get his wiggle-waggles out”.

A small laugh left your lips as you watched, responding to Joe within only a few seconds.

Because you were so invested in the conversation, you were surprised to hear your grandmother speak up from her supposed slumber.

“You’ve got a boyfriend now? Why does nobody tell me anything,” she murmured under her breath.

You turned your head to look at her, not realizing your phone screen was visible to the woman’s eyes.

“He’s not my boyfriend. We met only a few weeks ago, grandma. He’s dog-sitting Hades for me,” you explained. How absurd it was for someone to assume you were in a romantic relationship just because he was a guy. However, you’d admit you wouldn’t mind a little romance. But this isn’t what we’re talking about right now.

“Oh, really? Hum. A good connection you have, then, from what I can see.”

“You were reading my messages?”

“I may have terrible hearing, but my reading can go to your screen, young lady. If you’ve known each other for only a few weeks, then it seems like you guys clicked very well,” she murmured. “Besides, seems like a friendly guy. You don’t come by those too often, huh? Especially in my time.”

You smiled fondly at the moment, squeezing the woman’s hand gently. “Ah, I think they’re easier to find now, ma, I think you’d be glad to know. But you can’t really tell that just from seeing one of our conversations,” you commented.

“Or can I?” she asked mischeviously, her face morphing into a sly smile. Her eyes crinkled at the edges, voice filled with humor.

…

Could she? She couldn’t, right?

When you returned home, it was like a weight had been pulled off your chest. You couldn’t believe your flight was done, lugging your suitcases and bags across the sidewalk to your apartment building. Oddly, there stood two familiar figures. Hades and Joe.

“Welcome home!” he said, jogging down the steps with your excited companion. He grabbed a suitcase and bag from your hold. “Decided i’d help you with your stuff,” he explained, his eyes squinting against the bright rays of the sun.

“Aw, that’s really sweet, Joe. Thanks, you really didn’t have to!” you laughed.

“Don’t mention it!” he said teasingly, walking up the steps with you.

Seeing him again had awoken something in you. It made your heart feel high and your intelligence feel low. Something your grandma would say ‘dumb with love’.

You had thought these feelings would go away when you spent time away from him in another state, but you happened to be wrong. You didn’t know whether to be annoyed or glad of this fact.

Finally, after a short conversation about how your trip went, you had arrived at your guys’ floor. Joe took another extra step in help and decided to help you put your things inside your room. It was as if he was finding every excuse to hang out with you as much as he could.

When you finished with the moving, and the conversation seemed to come to an end, you took out a neat wad of cash.

“What’s this for?” he asked, before realizing. “Oh. Oh, no. Are you crazy? I’m not taking that. As I said, it’s a favor.”

“Fine, then take this as a favor,” you challenged sassily.

“You wish, princess,” he joked, laughed at the situation. Before you could process the little nickname, he had pulled out a letter and held it out to you. “Also, I think this is for you,” he said.

What a coincidence. Another misplaced letter, just like the way you two had begun to know each other.

“Really? Weird. Thanks, by the way,” you chuckled, taking the letter from him.

For a fleeting moment, he seemed nervous. How did you pick that feeling up? You weren’t sure. But there was something there between the two of you. This silence wasn’t awkward like the ones before, but nice, actually.

“Well, I should probably head to work. I’ll see you around?” he asked, as if trying to reflect what had happened weeks before.

“Definitely. I’ll look forward to it,” you responded, glee evident in his face when you agreed.

And that was the end of the conversation for that time, with him leaving for work and your heading inside to unpack and catch up on clients.

Later that night, you had realized you hadn’t opened up the misplaced letter Joe had returned to you, yet. Upon further inspection, you realized that… it wasn’t even a proper letter. All it had was your name on it and gibberish as the return address. How strange.

Opening the letter, it read:

Dear [y/n],

This might be embarrassing to say after only knowing each other for a short amount of time, but I really enjoy being around you.

I know I won’t let you pay me for taking care of Hades, but maybe you could let me take you out on a date and we can call it even instead of cash? I’ll pay, don’t worry.

No pressure!

Signed,

Joe

P.S., please let me dog-sit Hades more often- I (really) love him. He’s a good dance partner. And no, I’m not joking.

Enclosed in the envelope were several pictures of Hades playing with Joe and early morning pics that he hadn’t sent to you before. It was like a little bonus, and on the back he had written little notes describing the moment. It was sweet, really.

And so, in response to his letter, it only seemed appropriate that you would respond in the same way, right?

Taking out a paper and pen, you began to write:

Dear Joe Mazzello,

Haha don’t hate me, please :)

I didn’t want to write more because I felt that would be too long, but I don’t know if you guys would even want a part two or to make this a series (which would take some time). Let me know your thoughts!

#joe mazzello x reader #joe mazzello imagine #joe mazzello fluff #joe mazzello #joe mazzello fic #bohemian rhapsody fic #queen fic #queen x reader #borhap boys

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yourdeepestfathoms · 4 years

Text

take me out to the back of the shed (and shoot me in the back of the head)

(Read Anne as Courtney!Anne)

Title is from the song Old Yeller. It’s apparently a TikTok trend song but I first heard it from a furry animation when I was in 8th grade lol

Word count: 3112

Prompt: “Calm down! You’re scaring me!”

———————

“Jane! Jane, look at this painting I made for you!”

“Yeah, yeah- hang on a moment. I’m busy.”

“Jane-”

“In a minute.”

“But-”

“In a minute!”

This is the exchange Anne watched from down the hall- Joan following Jane around with a canvas gripped tightly in her hands like a little duckling and Jane doing her best to pretend the girl didn’t exist. After she was snapped at, Joan moved away slightly, but then perked up, hope glinting in her eyes.

“Okay...I’ll wait in my dressing room, alright?”

“Alright,” Jane said, not really listening to what was being said to her.

“Just come in when you’re done, okay?”

“Okay, Joan.”

“Great!” Joan beamed. “I’ll be waiting!”

With that, Joan turned around and scurried back to her dressing room, an excited smile on her lips. Anne watched her go, waited a moment, then walked to Jane’s room. Inside, the woman seemed to be packing up to leave for the day.

“You’re going to go see Joan, right?”

Jane looked up as she was grabbing her purse. She sniffed, nostrils flaring slightly, clearly miffed.

“She can wait.”

“She would starve to death by the time you finally got around to seeing her,” Anne pointed out, leaning against the doorframe with her arms crossed over her chest. She raised an eyebrow at Jane as if to add, “Am I wrong?”

“I have other things to do.” Jane said, sliding past the comment instead of facing it head on.

“Like what? Knit? Watch Love Island? Cuddle Kitty for the hundredth time?” Anne narrowed her eyes in an accusing stare. She’s been defensive of Joan ever since the Live where the music director fell asleep in her lap. “All of that stuff will still be there after you take ten minutes to go see what Joan made for you.”

Jane’s soft, kind facial features contort into that of a snarling white tiger’s- teeth bared, eyes alight, ears pinned back. But Anne wasn’t scared of her- not anymore. Deep down, she knew that Jane was nothing but a scared little kitten trapped in a circus cage.

“Joan isn’t my main priority,” Jane said dismissively, but the tiger’s claws remained unsheathed. “I don’t have to do anything for her.”

“Jane, that girl would take a bullet for you.” Anne said, stalking closer. Her voice went into a low whisper- a growl of sorts. “You know that, Jane. She would do anything for you.”

It was like a stare down between a tiger and a mountain lion- neither wanted to back down or step away.

“Why can’t you just be a good person? I’m not asking you to sign adoption forms for the kid, I’m asking you to just be a friend to her and go see what she wants to show you. It’s not that hard. It’s— her presence isn’t going to strike you dead! Just go look at her painting!”

Jane stared into Anne’s smoldering eyes, adjusted the strap of her purse hanging from her shoulder, and stepped past her towards the door.

“Kitty needs me.” She merely said.

“Of course she does,” Anne rolled her eyes. “It’s not like there’s three other fucking people living in that house than can respond to her every beck and call.”

Jane didn’t reply, as she was already out the door and making her way to the lobby by the time Anne finished her grumbled comment.

Anne considered going after her and dragging her to Joan’s dressing room by the hair, but she didn’t want to give the woman anymore thought. So, instead, she went to the dressing room herself and her heart broke a little when she saw Joan sitting patiently in the chair at her desk, legs swinging back and forth excitedly, smiling down at the canvas in her hands. Her head snapped up when she heard Anne step inside, but her expression dimmed when she saw that it wasn’t the silver queen.

“Oh. Hey, Anne.”

“What? Am I really that bad company?” Anne said teasingly.

“No,” Joan said, giggling slightly. “I just- I thought you were Jane.”

Anne frowned. She walked over to the girl and set a hand on her shoulder. Joan looked up with those adorable, glistening lamb eyes of hers and the words momentarily caught in Anne’s throat.

“I don’t think Jane is coming, dear.”

Joan blinked. Anne knew she knew what she meant, but she was trying to not believe it by playing dumb.

“What do you mean?” She asked.

“She just left.” Anne answered gently.

Like that, all hope and excitement is gone in a flash, replaced with deep sadness that forms over Joan’s head like a thick, dark rain cloud. She looked down at the painting lying in her lap and clenched her fists tightly around the edges.

“Oh.” She whispered.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” Anne said. She looked down at the canvas, too, and before her eyes soft watercolors and metallic paints and dark line-art came together brilliantly to form the beautiful painting of Jane Seymour. It was a bust shot of her in her show costume, but she was also adorned in shimmering strings of diamonds and pearls and topazes, and had a sparkling crystal crown sitting atop her head.

“This is beautiful, Joan!” Anne exclaimed honestly, because it absolutely was true. Joan truly was skilled with paints and pencils. “You’re so talented.”

“Thanks,” Joan replied, slightly disconnected. She appreciated the comment, Anne knew she loved praise, but she didn’t want to hear it from the green queen.

She wanted to hear it from the silver one.

Joan sighed and stood up, and Anne half expected her to destroy the painting or throw it away, but a tiny, hopeful smile actually tugged at her lips.

“I’m just going to leave it on her makeup table,” She said. “So- so it’ll be the first thing she sees tomorrow!”

Anne smiled and gently rubbed the girl’s head.

“That’s a good idea, Joey!” She said, even though she knew the odds of Jane actually going to Joan and telling her how much she loved the piece of art were very slim.

Still, for the time being, it cheered Joan up and she beamed at Anne before hurrying to go put the canvas in its place. Anne’s smile disappeared the moment she was out of sight and she sighed. She made a mental note to stay up until 11:11 that night so she could try wishing. Might as well see if the superstition was true.

———

Anne ended up falling asleep way before 11:11, but it didn’t matter because she knew trying to wish on a set of ones on her phone screen and alarm clock wouldn’t have made a difference since Jane would still be prancing around the theater like she is now, as if she hadn’t been gifted a gorgeous work of art. Anne wasn’t even sure if she had even seen the painting, but upon peeking inside the dressing room and seeing that the canvas was moved to the side of one of the makeup tables proved that Jane had, in fact, seen it.

She just didn’t care.

And that made Anne furious.

Poor Joan. She didn’t even have time to warn or distract the girl before she was skittering up to Jane with excitement glittering in her eyes.

“Jane!”

Jane sighed as she was getting a cup of coffee from the break room. If Joan heard the noise, she didn’t acknowledge it and just kept up her eager demeanor.

“Hello, Joan,” Jane said. All evidence of the warmth she had been speaking to Kitty with just a few minutes earlier was now gone.

“Did you see my painting? The one I made for you?” Joan asked. “I waited for you yesterday, but you didn’t come in and I just assumed you were too busy, so I left it on your table! It was there, right? Did you see it? Or did it get moved? Was it there?”

“Joan!” Jane growled, her hand clenching tightly around the cup she was holding. The sudden sharpness in her voice made the girl before her step back slightly. “Joan.” She smoothed out her tone, but remained as caring as Zira from The Lion King 2. “I saw it, yes. It was there.”

The momentary flash of fear and anxiety from getting yelled at disappeared from Joan’s eyes. She perks back up again, her feet now shuffling and tapping happily on the floor (her “Happy Feet”, as it's been dubbed by Maria).

“Oh! Great!” If she had a tail, it would definitely be wagging. Or if she were alone, she’d probably be frolicking around the room like a happy little lamb. “So? What did you think? Did you love it? I mean—like it? Did you like it?”

“It was nice,” Jane said, trying to swerve around Joan and her radiation of glee blocking the path to the door.

“Really?” Joan wanted more. She wanted more than just ‘nice.’ She needed more. “I’m really glad, Jane, because it was the first time I tried out watercolors and metallic paints together in one painting so I had no idea how it would turn out but it seemed to be good, right? I mean- obviously! You just said it was nice! B-but, umm-” She watched Jane walk for the door without really listening to her. She followed after her desperately. “S-so— Are you gonna hang it up?”

That’s what got Jane to stop. She turned to the girl impatiently fidgeting behind her and looked at her as if there were elephants parading out of her ears.

“Why would I do that?”

Up until that moment, Joan had been looking at Jane in a way that made it seem like there were swelling hearts in her eyes. But those hearts just broke with that single comment. Joan is left scrambling to pick up the pieces, but can barely catch anything, as all her hope also bleeds out through her fingers.

“B-because I...I made it. For you.” She said meekly.

“Fans make me stuff all the time but you don’t see me putting it on the fridge,” Jane chuckled, actually quite amused by the situation. “It was nice, Joan. And I appreciate it. No need to push it farther than that, because then it’ll just get weird. Like I’m worshiping a simple drawing or something.” She laughed again, then continued her stride out the door.

Joan was distraught, but as she watched the queen leave, her words fully sinking in, anger bubbled up inside of her. She grit her teeth, fingers clenching into fists. She could feel the ram horns poke uncomfortably against her forehead and slowly breach from her flesh, primed for blood.

“It’s not just some simple drawing, you—!!”

That’s all she could yell before Jane wheeled back around and stared at her from the hallway. Then, she enters once again and Joan backs up in fear, as if she were being stalked by a starving white tiger. She could almost see it in Jane’s face, but her teeth weren’t bared. Her lips were just set in a startling flat line that brought out the horror of the rest of her blank features.

“What? What?” Jane prodded. “I’m what?”

“Nothing...” Joan squeaked, hunching her shoulders in and lowering her head.

“I’m what, Joan?”

“Nothing!”

“A jerk? A prick? A bitch? A cunt? What am I, Joan?”

“Nothing! You’re nothing!” Joan cried. “I’m sorry!”

Jane had Joan cornered- literally. The girl was backed up in the far corner of the room near the window, which she glanced at for just a moment, as if she were considering jumping out of it to get away from the queen’s sterling wrath.

Jane calmly set down her cup of coffee on the nearby counter and laced her fingers together against her stomach. Her gaze was callous and cruel, offering absolutely no pity to the girl cowering beneath her uncaring stare.

“I’m going to explain this to you once, Joan, so you better listen because I will not tell it to you again.” She said. Her words are slithering slowly from her lips like venomous snakes, scaly and fanged. They bite Joan’s ears, pumping their poison into her brain no matter how hard she tried to combat them. “Nod if you understand that.”

Joan nodded shakily. She isn’t making eye contact, rather focusing her gaze on the floor and nothing else.

“I am not your mother figure.” Jane said bluntly, not even bothering to sugarcoat the comment. She was so tired of having Joan trying to force her way into her life. “You are not my daughter.”

With just those two simple sentences, it was as if Joan’s entire life just ended. It didn’t just come crashing down to her feet- it was over. She was nothing without her queen.

“B-but—”

“You are not my daughter.” Jane repeated coldly. “Do you understand me?”

This time, Joan doesn’t nod.

Jane narrowed her eyes dangerously.

“Nod, Joan.”

“Wh-what about—Kitty-”

“Don’t bring her up, Joan. This isn’t about her.” Jane warned lowly.

But Joan couldn’t stop the words that began to bubble up in her throat. Her voice comes out way too loud and way too shrill and way too desperate, but she can’t choke it back.

“Why? What does she have that I don’t? What did I do? What can I do to make you love me like that? Why her? What makes her so—”

The sound of a slap resonates through the room.

Joan was hit so hard she actually stumbled into the wall. She tentatively touches her stinging cheek, which burns upon contact, then looks up in fear at Jane, whose hand is slightly red from the force she had used.

There is no remorse present in the queen’s steel grey eyes.

“Do NOT speak of my daughter in that way again, you vile little pest!” Jane roared. Her old self, her fearsome queen self slips out in her words, and it chills Joan to the bone. “I will bring your guts into your mouth if you even THINK to do it again!”

It’s as if Jane was dehorning Joan- grabbing onto the ram horns with strong, clawed hands and twisting and twisting and twisting until they snapped off and are pulled out of her flesh with copious squirts of blood pouring free, leaving twin gaping red horrors open in her head.

“C-calm down!” Joan squeaked. “You’re scaring me!”

“And you WONDER why I don’t want to be your mother figure!” Jane went on, ignoring the plea. “I could list a hundred reasons right now and that still wouldn’t be enough to explain to you about how much I don’t want you as a daughter!” Joan doesn’t ask for any of them, but they’re still shoved down her throat anyway. “You’re clingy, you’re needy, you expect everyone to like you, you’re always tugging at my sleeve, you seem to think everything is about you, you act like a complete attention whore, to name a few! Why would I EVER want to be the mother to someone like you?”

“HEY!!”

It was like watching two big cats fight on a wildlife documentary- Anne seemed to come out of nowhere and charged her entire body into Jane’s, sending them both slamming into the back wall.

They tussle and squirm for a moment, snapping and hissing and clawing, and then Anne’s hand closed around Jane’s neck. Not enough to choke her, but enough to shove her head back up against the plaster and grind her skull into it.

“Anne, get off of me—”

“You bitch! You fucking bitch—”

“Get off—”

“You’re absolutely—”

“Stop—”

“What gives you the fucking right—”

“Let go—”

“You deserve to—”

Jane shoved Anne’s shoulders with both hands, causing the woman to totter backwards before she regained her footing. She almost lunged at the silver queen again, but somehow managed to tame herself enough to not pounce on her like a puma and gouge her eyes out, as much as she wanted to at that moment.

“You are SICK!” Anne yelled.

“You were about to strangle me!” Jane fired back.

“Yeah? Well, I wish I fucking did! Because God knows you deserved it!”

Anne paused her spray of fire to look at Joan, who was hunched against the wall, knees buckled and barely holding her up, tears streaming from her eyes, one hand cupping her swollen, red-purple cheek. Anne snapped her head back to Jane, bloodlust and rage blistering in her eyes.

“Did you fucking hit her?” She snarled.

“She was being a—”

“BULLSHIT!” Anne snapped, cutting Jane off. “That’s not what I fucking asked! Did you hit Joan?”

Jane just glared at Anne, as if she were an angry child that didn’t get the toy they wanted.

“Oh my god,” Anne half gasped, half laughed. “You absolute cunt! You really think that nobody else in this world matters, huh? Some ‘cast mother figure’ you are. It’s just you and that spoiled little weasel you keep on a harness!”

Despite loving Kitty to death, Anne couldn’t care about the comment she just made about her baby cousin because it was true.

Jane went to say something, went to somehow defend her actions, but Anne was talking again.

“I get it now! I finally understand!” She said. “You didn’t die of natural causes at all! You died from God striking you down because he KNEW what a horrible, cruel mother you would have been. He SAVED Edward from you!”

Finally, that’s what got Jane to crack. And, damn, it felt good to watch horror twist up her features.

“You really do have a heart of stone.” Anne spit.

She crossed over to Joan, who had been crying silently, and wrapped an arm around her shoulder, helping her stand. The poor thing was shaking so badly.

“Come on, sweetie,” She whispered, her tone softening in an instant. “Let’s go.”

Joan staggered for a moment, nearly collapsing, but Anne managed to hold her up. She grappled onto the queen’s shirt and Anne could see that her cheek was definitely bruising.

“Oh, Joan…” Rage bubbles in her veins. She hears the girl whimper. “Shh, it’s okay. I’ve got you. I’m not going to let her hurt you ever again.”

Anne casts a dark look at Jane.

Jane does nothing but stare forward blankly, lost in her own memories.

“Come on. Let’s go get something for your cheek.”

Joan didn’t resist. She let Anne guide her out of the room.

But not without Anne shooting out one last comment.

“Oh, and I’ll make sure to vote for you as Mother of The Year, Jane.”

#six the musical #six the musical fanfic #six fanfic #six fanfiction #six fic #sixfic #anne boleyn #jane seymour #nana boleyn #joan on the keys #katherine howard #take me out to the back of the shed

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fleouriarts · 1 year

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Hello! I thought I’d just say this here, your art is outstanding!! I love your world building abilities, it’s incredible how you’ve created such an in depth universe! It’s a huge inspiration to me! Also the way you portray trans characters in your work makes me so happy! Since I’ve found your work I’ve started making my characters unapologetically trans after seeing how confidently you draw them! I’ve stopped worrying about making a character’s gender easy to read or understand and it’s been more euphoric than I expected! I was wondering if you have any story writing tips/world building tips? I’ve got this one story I’m working on but I’m a bit stuck on adding creatures and stuff to it

Thank you so much!

first of all thank you so much for all the compliments! i'm always really happy to see people touched by the way i depict my trans characters + my interpretations of other characters as trans, it's nice to know my art has that sort of impact

as for worldbuilding/story writing tips, i honestly get most of my inspiration for worldbuilding from my college classes. i'm a biology major who usually takes some anthropology and art history classes on the side to offset my ridiculous amount of STEM work, so i end up encountering a lot of stuff that would inspire both my cultural and biological worldbuilding. however, obviously i know that not everyone is in higher education, but you could probably get the same sort of thing by hunting down documentaries about things you'd like to put in your world (or things you like in general! i often just add something to my worldbuilding cus i like it and find a way to justify it later). if anyone has any recommendations for stuff like that please post those in the replies!

for creature design specifically, i would recommend looking through jayrockin's character design tag, especially if you're going for more hard spec bio. i haven't really gotten around to designing a lot of sumakha's fauna, but when i do, i'll probably take this approach to it. i think a really good way to make unique-looking designs is by focusing on a species' niche and what they would've had to evolve to be successful in it. for example, ketvidae are a mishmash of cats, lemurs, mustelids, and a bunch of other random mammals cus i was basically just pulling from anything that was an ambush predator and/or arboreal. i sort of did the same thing with pemadae, where i based them on horses/antelopes but gave them a raptor stance since all of those animals are things that run fast and (at least for horses and antelopes) live in grasslands. i find this approach to be helpful for making creatures that don't look exactly like a single real-life animal while also not getting too nonsensical about it (but also things being nonsensical CAN be really fun, don't be afraid to 'rule of cool' your way into a design you really like)

as for story writing... i wish i had tips but i'm really flying by the seat of my pants with it. my two main stories/worlds (comatelma and sumakha) are things i've had for multiple years now and i've just been rewriting parts whenever i come up with something or the old stuff no longer works. i know it's hard NOT to stress about being stuck, but if you keep trying to brute force your way out of that block, i think it'll just make you feel worse (speaking from experience). personally, inspiration hits me at the most random times in the most random places. i didn't work on sumakha for almost a year because i couldn't figure out how to redesign pemadae, and then someone in a server i'm in posted about raptor furries and suddenly everything clicked. so don't feel bad if you haven't had that 'click' moment yet, it'll come eventually (though i know it's frustrating to wait for LOL)

i guess that's all the tips i have, hopefully i answered your question well!

#ask #anonymous

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maraudererasmut · 5 years

Text

Experiment MJ001

TW: Drug and alcohol use. Mentions of drugs and alcohol use by minors.

Marjiuana is legal in my country. It has been for a while.

I’ve always been very nervous about things in my life. Not anything in specific, just things in general. I had spend so long being repressed by my parents, I had cotten it in my head that drugs = bad and since marjiuana = drug, QED marjiuana = bad.

Today, I decided to do something out of the ordinary and purchase a (legal) chocolate bar from the pot store and try it out!

So, I am currently high for the very first time in my life! (I’m in my late 20s)

I had an idea that I thought was brilliant at the time to write Wolfstar fan fiction about Remus getting high for the first time WHILE I was high and see what happened!

I also decided that I’m going to POST IT. Without editing it! (Pure, unadulterated chaos!!!) Now, for your viewing pleasure, the ramblings of a T on Pot. I have no idea if this is good or not. I haven’t read through it yet. I’ll probably wake up tomorrow, read this, regret it and delete it. But until then... enjoy!

((I’m sorry if it’s terrible!!!))

((I am also currently still high while typing this, so I apologize for any errors!!))

Remus had never consumed marjiuana before. Growing up, his parents had been very strict with what kinds of medication he was allowed to consume, particularly in regards to his lycanthropy. “You don’t know how it will affect the wolf, Remus.” “You don’t know what will happen…” “We can’t predict how the wolf will react…”

Magic had always been the go-to remedies for colds or maladies; Muggle drugs were never to be trusted in the LUpin home.

So when Remus got drunk for the first time, he made sure that his friends were around to help him through the experience.

Now, in his seventh year of school, Remus finally built up enough courage to ask his friends to, once-again, monitor Remus while he was testing the waters.

Remus sat with the three other Marauders, staring at the brownie in his hand.

“Are you sure this is safe?” he groaned, internally terrified of what may happen. The scent of the brownie wafted through the air, and Remus cursed his wolfish senses as his mind began convincing him that this might be worth it for the chocolate alone.

“”Yeah, I’m sure, Moons…” Sirius teased, licking his lips like a cartoon wolf sizing up a prized pig as he stared at his own brownie.

“Yeah, Pads and I have done this hundreds of times!” James chimed in, already half way through his. “It’s fine!”

“You’re not werewolves,” Remus grumbled as he turned to Peter. “You’re the sensible one, Wormy. What do you think?”

Peter stared at Remus for a moment before breaking out into a smile.

“I say fuck it!” he said, taking a bite out of his own brownie. “You only live once, Moons!”

Remus closed his eyes, took a bite from his brownie, chewed and swallowed.

Nothing happened.

No big bang, no swirling in his brain, no sudden rush of feeling.

“It’s… not working?” He said, turning to Sirius.

“Give it a bit, Moons! It takes time to work! It’s like alcohol!”

“Okay,” Remus said with a shrug, finishing the rest of his brownie. “So… what do I do until then?”

Sirius shrugged, but his smirk gave him away. He sat back onto the pillows and blankets that they had dragged to the ground, his head resting precariously close to Remus’ lap. He grinned up at Remus before reaching for his wand and giving a lazy flick into the air.

Sirius’ record player began to spin, and All Along the Watchtower began playing, filling the entire room and seeping into Remus’ bones.

Remus laid back on the pillows, his head next to Sirius’. He closed his eyes and let Hendrix drift through his mind, trying not to let Sirius’ scent drive him crazy.

Remus didn’t feel anything.

Not for a while.

He didn’t think it was even working.

The boys had spent the next hour talking, chatting, chilling, as they usually do on Saturday evenings. They talked about girls (James complaining about Lily), boys (Sirius’ trists with that Ravenclaw boy), and everything in between (Peter’s insistence that, yes, James, he is still Asexual. And no, James, he doesn’t need to double check.)

Remus didn’t notice the time passing as he laid on the pillows next to his friends, for the first time in his life actually being able to participate fully. They normally spend evenings hanging out in the middle of the room. James and Sirius always got high. They had since they had discovered Muggle weed last year. Peter had partaken on occasion, but usually insisted that he preferred a couple of beers over weed. Remus, on the other hand, remained sober all night, watching his friends fall into various states of inebriation, testing their limits, seeing new sides of themselves.

This was his first time.

Remus smiled to himself, thinking about how much fun it is to participate, even if he didn’t know what being high felt like yet.

“What’re you smiling about?”

Sirius’ voice was practically a purr in Remus’ ear, and he felt his heartbeat quicken.

“M’not… Not really. Just… happy to be here with you lads....”

“Mmm, same, Moons. Happy to be here… Today’s a good day to be alive…”

“That’s a weird thing to say…” Remus rolled over and looked at Sirius.

Was Sirius always that handsome? Did his eyes always sparkle silver in their conjured lights? Did his hair always look that soft and touchable? What would happen if Remus touched it? Was his skin always so pale, so milky while, Remus had to resist leaning over and tasting it. Remus edged his arm over slightly, comparing his own freckle-dusted arm to Sirius’. One was slender and perfect and tattooed and lovely. One was broken and scarred and ugly.

It was no wonder Sirius never noticed Remus.

“Whatya thinkin’ ‘bout?”

Sirius’ voice distracted Remus from his thoughts.

“Mm? What’d’ya mean?”

I can see for miles and miles and miles and miles and miles…

The Who was playing in the background and Remus watched as Sirius’ head bobbed up and down to the music, a wide grin spread across his perfect cheeks.

“I mean you’re thinkin’ of stuff. We all are… I am… That’s what makes things so cool when you’re high… You think of stuff…”

Remus blinked. What was Sirius even saying? What had he been doing? Was he thinking? He seemed to be thinking…

His brain felt like the needle was skipping across the record. Or that more than one record was playing at a time. Everything that was said out loud was one record in one player, and a vision of him talking to Sirius from a bird’s eye view was another record. And the way the music blended into his brain was another record.

Was this what being high was?

“I’m thinking of the music… I guess. And… Mrs. Robinson…”

“Ha ha! That’s that one Hufflepuff chick, ya?”

“What? No… it’s… coo coo ca choo?” Remus closed his eyes. His mind was feeling a bit foggy.

Put it in your pantry with your cupcakes…

“Oh! Yeah! Jesus holds a place for those who pray…”

“Hey hey hey!” James’ voice came from miles away. Or across the room. To Remus, it felt like both at once.

“Yeah,” Remus said with a grin, rolling over onto his left side to face Sirius. “Coo coo choo, Mrs. Robinson….”

“BOYS!” Peter hollered from the other side of the room. “Hot Blooded! This is my jam!”

Remus grinned, listening as the sound of guitar filled the room. He tapped along to the song, watching Sirius watch the ceiling.

“What are you thinking about, Pads?”

Sirius tilted his head towards Remus and gave a wink.

“That I’m hot blooded,” he said, his tongue resting on his fang.

“Pfftt… You’re just a horny mutt…” Remus teased. He felt an immediate pang of regret as Remus realized that Sirius was likely horny for a certain Ravenclaw boy.

“Mmm, bet you are too. Not that you’d ever date anyone… But I bet you’re real bad, Moons… “

Remus rolled his eyes, trying to keep his heart from exploding from his chest with terror. Why was Sirius talking about how horny Remus was? That wasn’t something Sirius ever talked about.

“You know how it is… not allowed. The whole… furry little problem…”

Oooh, I’m picking up good vibrations, oooh she’s giving me excitations…

“I’ve told you, just date one of us…”

Remus chuckled, trying not to show how much he wished he could.

“Oh yeah, James would totally ditch Lily for me,” Remus teased, listening to the Beach Boys suddenly start the quiet part of Good VIbrations.

“I didn’t say date James…”

“Oh, Sorry… Peter then… Yup. That seems like a great idea…”

Good good good good vibrations!!

“Are those really your only choices?”

Sirius was on his side at this point, facing Remus head-on, giving a sly grin.

Normally, Remus would laugh this off as a joke and change the subject. Perhaps talk about the fact that Sirius had American Woman on his magical mixed-record.

Today was different though. Today, Remus was feeling a little bolder. A little dizzier. A little more capable of looking at the situation differently.

Most days, from the very beginning of his life, Remus had been taught to be small, demure, less than other people. He knew not to make waves or say what was on his mind, because he was not to draw attention to himself. Today, for the first time in his entire life, Remus was starting to understand what it felt like to be a normal person. Someone who wasn’t a werewolf. Someone who didn’t grow up being told that they had to hide themselves because of societal pressures. Today, he could suddenly just say whatever he thought and felt and there was absolutely nothing keeping him from saying it.

“I can’t very well date you, Padfoot. What would that poor Ravenclaw boy do without you in his life?”

“Who, Spencer? Nah, we were never an item. Just fooling around…”

“Fine then,” Remus said with finality, trying to shrug while on his side. Whoooo are you? Who who, who who? “I suppose you’re the only person in all of Hogwarts who I can date.”

Sirius grinned his wicked grin, inching closer to Remus, his eyes positively smouldering.

“I suppose so. Guess we’re to call it, then. We’re dating now…”

Whooo are you? Who who? Who who?

Aaaawww, who the fuck are you?

“Hear that Prongs,” Remus said, playing along with the joke. “Sirius and I are dating now.”

“Well it’s about goddamn time,” James yelled back.

Remus chuckled to himself, but when he opened his eyes, Sirius was there. In front of him, their noses almost touching… There was a moment…

Whoooo are you? Who who? Who who?

Remus inched closer, rubbing his nose to Sirius’, just playing along, just being silly, just keeping up with the game.

Sirius closed the gap.

Remus sank into the kiss, feeling Sirius’ lips against his own, Sirius’ tongue tasting like chocolate and pot, Sirius’ hands suddenly around his waist.

Then Remus pulled away.

Who are you? Who who? Who who?

“Who the fuck are you?”

Sirius laughed, pulling himself slightly away from Remus.

“I just wanted to see how far you’d be willing to play along! I didn’t realize you’d actually let me kiss you!”

“Fuck…” Remus swore, starting to feel angry at Sirius. “Shit... I thought maybe…”

“Maybe what?”

“Nothing…”

“Maybe what, Remus?”

“Nothing, Sirius.” Sirius’ lips were against Remus’ again, but the werewolf knew better this time. He pulled away, his eyes narrowing. “Stop dicking around.”

“I’m not dicking around…” Sirius whispered, his voice dropping low and rumbly. Remus felt a chill down his spine as House of the Rising Sun played in the background.

“Don’t kiss me if you don’t mean it,” Remus grumbled, before he had a chance to think about his words and and regret saying him, Sirius was kissing him again. Remus tasted his tongue and lips and the thrill of kissing someone he had wanted to kiss for as long as he could remember. Sirius pulled away, his eyes gleaming and ravenous.

“I mean it,” he cooed. “I—”

Before he could continue, Remus was pressed into Sirius, taking advantage of his inebriated state and lack of over-thinking.

“Get a room, you prats!” James called across the room. Remus didn’t care. He didn’t care about anything except the feeling of Sirius’ body against his own, Sirius’ hands around his hips, Sirius’ tongue in his mouth, Sirius’ teeth nipping his lower lip. Everything was Sirius.

Remus closed his eyes and lost himself in his Padfoot. He silently prayed that things could stay this easy forever, but deep inside, he knew that would be a dangerous path to head down...

#wolfstar #sirius black #remus lupin #TW: Drug use #marjiuana #getting high for the first time #high writing #T tried pot #it's... wierd #My brain is melting

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shiro-0197 · 4 years

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You're so sweet what?? I'd write you a song too but I somehow suck at stringing melodies together 😣😣 they sound so awkward, I wish I had the talent to write songs :]

omg I remember that moment!! I was so shooketh, like damn, he's pretty strong owo, but omg you're just brilliant, don't be surprised :P I'm so proud to be your friend 😣💖 and I'm so proud of you in general. You're just all the good things rolled into one. Sweet? Soft? Adorable as fuck? A total genius? Yes—

Blondes are geniuses. I Stan. Oops, it kinda seems like you're my type, sir— kindly marry me? Skjdksjsks I think even despite the headaches and stuff, you're so intelligent, and i'm in awe of you, truly. You are one smart cookie :> (did you see what I did there? :P)

3 o clock? XD he's up at the oddest times, just like I am ✌️ my sleep schedule? ✨ Nonexistent ✨ Omg yes that would be such a good idea!! Please send me a pic if you do!! I'd love to see it. I draw bunny ears for my BTS bias, Jungkook, pretty often, because he loves joking around on his live streams and saying he's actually a rabbit and not a human (aight babe, so you're a furry—) but it's pretty cute >.<

I've had the weirdest obsession with catpeople recently 😔IDEK why tho the memes are cringey asf sjhssjak.

Yeah she's a firecracker, and she runs hot and cold. Sometimes she's the sweetest, and other times she's like this; 😶😶😶😶

I didn't like her either. Stuff got so explicit when she was on screen I had to fast forward it all xD but yeah every single character was so well thought out. I didn't expect to love Arisu as much as I do, because he was such a slob in the beginning, but I love how he's gone through character development. Aaah okok!! I love AOT so I was just curious hehe.

A guy who would help me?? Skin my useless board?? Were you?? Made for me?? 😔🤚 Tho those mfs better watch out because I'm scary when I'm angry.

nooo awww that's so cute. Picturing you smiling?? Serotonin📈📈📈 I usually wait till I'm free before I reply, and when I did it at Abigail's house she peeked over my shoulder and was like "omg such long messages, you must really love him" (I do indeed love you very much! and, if the messages are too long feel free to shorten them, idm 👉👈💖)

Thank you for the rec!! I'm gonna listen to it now. I love you too, my precious Shiro. Sleep well, sweet dreams. <333

—a tired individual

Relatable, I tried to do something in LMMS, but I have absolutely no knowledge in music theory and etc😭😭

Me too, I was like... sir?!?!??

Girl🥺🥺 I'm also vv honored to be your friend!!! Cuz like hello you're so awesome, you're smart and sweet and responsible and hardworking and !!!!!!!!!!!

Dnnsjrjsj when's our wedding🤨😻? Heheh I'm glad you think that🥺 tbh I would admit that if it werent for the fact that I cant stand history xd

Hahah, yeah! What's bothering me is that like... aren't you guys supposed to wake up early? Kuro wakes up at 6 am even though his bedtime ranges from 10pm to 5am, and there is absolutely no indicator of what's it gonna be tonight. If you'd only see his eye circles ;-;

Will do!!! Also, that's funny-- I always say I'm a chicken for absolutely no reason. They're so pretty? And tasty- ok I am so sorry XD

IM GONNA FIGHT HER CUZ NP WAY HES MINE🤬🤬🤬 WKKRKSKDKAKZK IM KIDDING KIDDING JQJFJSJDJ

True true, I watched those scenes like "ma'am.... pls". Also what she did to Chota was a bitch move, cuz she expected him to choose her because she let him fuck her🤨😡

True, Arisu wasnt the best character at first, but then I saw how damn good he was at strategies, and I was like. Goodbye😍

I'm also pretty intimidating on my own, and when I'm angry I'm like "😶" and my friends told me that I look like an angel of death I was like🤨🤨🤨🤨 that was funny XD

Hehehhe I love you too!!<33 Idk why I always feel embarrased when people see my messages, even though they're completely normal, like "omg you saw me message someone😩😩😩" I have no idea why that happens XD (trust me, I always try my best to fully respond to everything, because I'll be damned if I skip something, and if I do its mostly because I probably miss or forget to😔)

I hope you liked it!! It's my favorite song from them, alongside Never Meant To Know. Their songs are so good. Too bad I dont understand what they're about most of the time... that's why I love them, their lyrics confuse me bit they sound so good, and I really respect them for creating something like that. Cuz I could NEVER😭😩

I love you so much!! Thank you for your message<33💕💘💕💖💓💓💘💞💝💞💘💓💖💕💕💘💓

#Ari💕#my favorite tired individual😩

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