#also i’m not a fucking influencer i’m doing this for MY enjoyment

[sugardecay]

maybe one of the grossest opening and then series of messages i’ve gotten in a long time. i literally hope his dick falls off and he dies <3

[hiddenlife-manager]

Dazai Osamu NSFW

Dazai x Fem reader

Extra: drug usage, slight suicidal mentions, Dazai slightly being him, slight inability to consent, mention of blow job, floor sex, simple sex, dazai in a robe, blood, biting, and more

Author's note: So I had this like experience, and it made me just ahhhhh, I freaking love being bit till I bleed. So tmi, but like if a man or woman does it, I am like drooling. Also, I am thinking of getting a new car, but I haven't decided hehe. I really want to go out and eat dinner with friends.

Good Reads

You stared at the lines of cocaine on his desk. Another day, you came home with him high out of his mind. 

"Dazai, you need to be careful with cocaine." You shook your head as the man you cared for laid on the floor, hair tangled, bandages everywhere, and in a robe that covered his lower half while his chest was exposed. There sat a book on his face, a book titled "The Complete Manual of Suicide."  

"I don’t feel like it." He laughed softly, pain in his voice, and your body crouched down to his frame, picking up the book on his face, closing it, and placing it beside his body.There was a line of white powder on his nose. "Don’t lose my page." You sighed, shaking your head. 

 "A little late, love," he groaned. 

"Come down here with me." He pulled your arm, forcing you to fall against his chest. Your legs quickly moved to straddle his legs. "God, you are so perfect. Join me in a double suicide, please." He begged, holding you tightly. His abs flexed slightly as he moved his upper body up to hold you, his head down between your breasts. You shook your head towards him, chuckling at him. "I tried, might as well enjoy the pleasures of being alive." He bit your left breast, causing a yelp to echo through your shared bedroom. Dazai kept sucking at the bite mark and finally he pulled away blood dripping down his chin and your breast. 

"Dazai, we can’t do this, you are under the influence of drugs." He chuckled. 

"Then be drugged out with me, then it’ll be even." You laughed a bit till it turned into another cry of pain, and there he bit into your right breast once more leaving a bloody mark. "Do it with me; it makes everything pleasurable. Make me want to live." He begged. 

"Fine." You took a deep breath in, and he simply pulled out a small bag. He dug his fingers in the open bag and placed his finger towards your nose. This was not your first rodeo, but it simply wasn't an enjoyable one at first. You hated how it stung to snort it and you quickly did. The room began to spin, eventually settling on the man you were straddling. Dazai was not one to react normally to cocaine; he wasn't alert as usual; if anything, he was hornier.

"That's it, baby." He grabbed you tightly, flipped you over, and slammed your back against the floor. His bandages were loose as they wrapped around you gently. "I’m going to ruin you." He grunted his arms pulled at your pants, finally your pants were off and your ass was exposed. Your panties covered your clit leaving everything for the world to see. 

"Osamu I’m cold." Your body shook at the temperatures, and he laughed at you. He could care less. He couldn’t even care about the fact that the drugs in your system weren't fully settled.

"Sensitive." He groaned as he pushed his unclothed cock to your entrance; the only thing keeping it from entering you were your panties and his robes. "I’m so hot." He pulled his robes off his body, his abs glistening from the heat he felt from the drug in his system. 

His cock sprung out harder than normal. He placed his cock at your entrance, pushing aside your panties. He slapped your clit causing you to yelp, there you felt it the drugs you consumed in your system. Your body was trembling from him slapping your clit. 

"F-fuck!" You cried out at his motion. Your hips buckled as you wished to be closer to him, to have him inside you.He pulled you closer, sliding your ass on the wooden floor. His body leaned over you; he placed his mouth on your nipple and sucked. Your back arched quickly at the sudden pleasure; his cock slammed into you tightly, distracting you from the pain as he sucked at your breast. His balls slapped against your ass while your hips shifted slightly. Your breast bounced at the sudden movement. 

"Even better." He let go of your nipple to groan those words. His mouth once more bit you, and the pain turned into pleasure rapidly. Your mouth opened due to the pleasure.He held you tightly, his bandages lightly grazing your skin. Your tank top was lowered at your breast and lifted, not covering your stomach. 

Your hips rocked at his cock, feeling him hit you harshly in your cunt. He always hit the sweet spot, leaving you dumbfounded by the sensation. The drugs overwhelmed your body as you attempted to hold onto him, and he simply grabbed your arms and slammed them above your head with one hand, his other still on your hip.

His mouth once more went straight to your breast, attempting to draw some blood from it. It was clear he loved your breast, the scars he left were obvious, and he wanted to bite you till you bled down your cleavage. He was succeeding in causing blood to slide down your breast, which made your head spin at the pleasure.

"I’m-mmmm so close!" You cried, and he laughed at you and nodded. His body jerked tightly into you, thrusting harshly at a slow pace. His hips pulled back and buckled into yours. With one last thrust, your body shook at the running orgasm. He continued to thrust into your hole as he got closer to his upcoming orgasm.

He thrusted into you his balls once more slapping your ass, there he pulled out of your cunt and placed his hand that rested on your hips onto his cock. His hand twisted at his cock, and the sound of your slick echoed through the room as he jerked off his cock. A cry of pleasure left him as cum spewed onto your stomach. You were able to calm your breathing despite his heavy breathing and moans spewing from his lips.

"How about another?" You got up, the cum dropping down to your lap while you pulled him closer placing his cock into your mouth, as you tasted yourself and him.

[fog-and-rust]

Hogwarts Legacy Incorrect Quotes Part 3 (feat. my Hufflepuff!MC, Ellie)

Send help, I can't seem to stop. That's waaay too enjoyable. MC is steadily evolving into a gremlin "The Polyjuice Plot" quest revealed her to be.

Leander: But what about Ellie?

Natty: Don't worry so much about her.

Garreth: I once watched her fall down 5 flights of stairs, stand up, and keep casting Revelio like nothing happened.

***

Sebastian, Poppy & Natty: In our defense, we were left unsupervised.

Amit: Wasn’t Ellie with you the whole time?

Ellie: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.

***

Poppy: What’s your biggest fear?

Ellie [after clearing Aranshire from spiders]: I am incredibly arachnophobic.

Poppy *under her breath*: You don’t want spiders to get married?

***

Ellie: So, Poppy is no longer allowed in the Room of Requirement.

Leander: Why?

Ellie: Because I've caught her trying to train Nifflers to fight five times in a row.

Poppy *arms crossed and pouting*: You'll be thanking me when the third Niffler battalion saves your ass.

Ellie: Why would I need Nifflers if I have my Chomping Cabbages?

Leander [an avid fan of ferocious plants]: That's a good point actually.

***

[Someone's trying to trespass into Ravenclaw common room is becoming one of my favourite plots as well as Chomping Cabbages]

Ravenclaw knocker: What's worse than a heartbreak?

Poppy: Stepping on a Kneazle's tail and not being able to explain that you're sorry.

[The door opens]

Ravenclaw students: How do they do that? First Leander, now Poppy. Who's next, Venomous Tentacula?

Ellie & Leander [who are already inside]: Tentaculas can't walk. Beware of the Chomping Cabbages!

***

Leander: My life is a little too much panic and not enough disco.

Ellie: My life is a little too much fall and not enough boy.

Garreth: My life is a little too much chemical and not enough romance.

Poppy: My life is a little too much imagination and not nearly enough dragons.

***

[In the goblin mines]

Ellie, to Amit as they cast Disillusionment spell: First rule of battle, my dear friend... don’t ever let them know where you are.

Sebastian, somewhere in the distance: WHOO-HOO! I’M RIGHT HERE! I’M RIGHT HERE! YOU WANT SOME O’ ME?! YEAH YOU DO! COME ON! COME ON! AAAAAH! Whoo-hoo!

Ellie: 'Course, there’re other schools of thought.

***

[After the quest in the goblin mines]

Duncan, to Ellie: One universe, nine planets, seven seas, seven continents, and I had the unfortunate luck of meeting you.

Ellie: Hey, that’s not very nice-

Everett: There are only eight planets, you Puffskein Dunkein!

Amit, appearing from nowhere: VIVA LA PLUTO, FUCK YOU!

Ellie, rolling on the floor and laughing: That's my boy!

***

Poppy: Ellie learned how to fold origami penguins from Amit the other day. I told her, “I feel a little bad for the penguins, it’s hot here”, and she immediately cast Glacius on them.

***

Leander, to Garreth: If you see Ellie, give her this message *makes a neutral face*

Leander: She'll know what it means.

*later*

Garreth: Oh, and Leander said to give you a message.

Garreth: *makes a neutral face*

Ellie: Oh no. The neutral face of displeasure.

***

Ellie: Judging our life choices, I really hope we all make it to adulthood!

Natty: That’s a great prayer.

Poppy: A needed one.

Sebastian: A needed one indeed.

***

[The squad is bored as hell during History of Magic lesson]

Garreth: What is the most illegal thing you can do with one galleon?

Ellie: Exchange it for knuts, put them all in a sock and beat someone to death with it.

Leander: No more hanging out with Sebastian for you! He's a bad influence! You're grounded for till O.W.L.s!

Ellie: For till O.W.L.s?!

Leander: For till O.W.L.s!!!

Sebastian*offended but taking notes*: That's too cruel even for me!

Leander: Ellie, is this why you've been to Azkaban?

Ominis & Sebastian: You've been to Azkaban?!

Other students: Calm downess, relaxation, chill out and stop screaming...

***

Leander: How long do you reckon it’ll be until Amit finally snaps and commits a murder so that he can fit in with the rest of your friends?

Ellie: I’ve been going through this year assuming it’s already happened at some point and it’s just that no one was ever able to trace it back to him.

***

Ellie: Caffeine no longer keeps me awake while I complete the trials, so instead I have Leander periodically send me howlers saying ‘we need to talk.’

Ellie: It gives me the right amount of adrenaline and fear I need to keep going.

***

Sebastian: Just trust me. Have I ever put you in an unsafe or uncomfortable situation?

Ellie & Ominis: All the time.

Sebastian: Then you should be used to it by now.

[reptilia2003]

why do you hate pitchfork?

why do I hate pitchfork?

first off, I think music criticism as a whole is kind of odd. I do like being able to hear what other people thought of albums! But the way most criticism is constructed takes something that’s mostly subjective (taste) and tries to make it objective. I understand that ratings make for an easy way to categorize music, but theirs are confusing.

Take for instance this review of the latest little simz album—if you read it, you’ll find they criticize basically nothing. https://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/little-simz-no-thank-you/

It gets a 7.7. You can read pitchfork reviews that lavish similar amounts of praise and get 9+, and you can find ones that get 6.5. (Many have noted that they tend to knock female artists for things they don’t knock male artists for.)

taste is subjective, rating albums numerically is hard, and makes no sense a lot of times (looking at you, 5.7 rating for grammy winning album the new abnormal. not that grammys mean anything either but i think this shows that two different groups of “experts” can have wildly different opinions)

I’d say my biggest beef with pitchfork is that it seems to pride itself on being pretentious and inaccessible. (I say this as someone who is kind of pretentious about music! I look at my Last.fm and collect vinyls and listen to a lot of things that people who are Pretentious Music Enjoyers listen to!) I have no problem with big and complicated words being used in criticism—I think it’s actually good, it can help describe things in a way that simpler language can’t. But theirs ends up coming off as arrogant and almost masturbatory. We get it pitchfork—you’re Cool and Smart and Know Things and you’re therefore the Authority about music.

Take the first paragraph from their review of Alvvays’ Blue Rev. what is the point of this meandering treatise on the genre of power pop, besides to assert that they Know Things?

They follow this up with this line. So it turns out that all that stuff they just said about genre is actually unimportant! Great! Thanks for wasting a paragraph on showing off your Understanding of genre.

This attitude also tends to attract a certain type of reader. When they polled readers for their favorite 200 albums of the last 25 years, here’s what they came up with

Don’t get me wrong, there’s a lot of fantastic albums in this list. But three radiohead albums in the top five says something about your audience. (And I own two of those three on vinyl, so I fully realize I’m also the type of person I’m talking about here. but I think that also makes me more qualified to criticize it.) We go through neutral milk hotel’s in the aeroplane over the sea, sufjan stevens’ illinois, Kanye’s yeezus, Frank ocean’s channel orange, lcd soundsystem’s sound of silver (another one I own), and madvillain’s madvillainy before we get to any album made by a woman (lana del Rey’s Norman fucking rockwell, coming in at #17). This is pitchfork’s audience, and it’s who they cater to and this greatly influences how they think about music.

tldr halsey was right.

[flymmsy]

I'll send you a whole bunch of numbers for the meme at once so I don't have to keep scrolling the list on mobile haha - 11, 21, 56 and 59. Ideally for Lyra AND Gortash, but if one of them isn't keen to answer, that's fair. Or if you want to answer for default Durge! But I do love Lyra!

Aww thank you for the Lyra love, as always!!! I'll answer for her after Gort :)

→ Gortash

11. How would they describe their sexuality using only adjectives (describing words–busy, fluffy, squishy, etc.) The phrasing of this question is so interesting because it’s how GORTASH would describe it himself hmmm. I think he’d say useful, selective, and when describing it to someone he needs something from - very enjoyable. 21. Are they happy with their body? Answered here! 56. Do they find it easier to orgasm with another person, or through masturbation? Definitely through masturbation. He’s very guarded, so being on his own would allow him to feel more relaxed and therefore be more successful. I think he’s fairly successful with others but I definitely think he could struggle to either orgasm or get hard in certain scenarios. (If he had - or has if you’d like - a cunt, he’d be the KING of faking it.) 59. What’s the best orgasm they’ve ever had? Fighting The Breeding Urge in this answer but I actually think it would be the first time Durge blows him. It’s way before they establish any kind of trust, and it’s definitely right after Durge has eviscerated someone. His life is in SO MUCH danger and his cock is in EVEN MORE danger and he is SO FUCKING INTO IT that he practically blacks out.

→ Lyra (My Durge)

11. How would they describe their sexuality using only adjectives (describing words–busy, fluffy, squishy, etc.) Messy, violent, and dangerous - but when using the word dangerous she means to herself, and not others. It /is/ dangerous to others, but she sees it as more dangerous to herself. Fear of losing control, even if she’s doing it to indulge in bloodlust. There’s always the fear of “what if she goes too far and falls under Bhaal’s influence forever” whenever she indulges in sex or violence, it’s just that sometimes the desire overrides that fear, or The Urge doesn’t give her much of a choice. 21. Are they happy with their body? Yes - to the point where she doesn’t even think about it. She’s specifically crafted to be the perfect physical weapon in every way. She’s beyond worrying about it (freaking demigods and their confidence 🙄) . The only thing she does think on is that she’s jealous of Orin’s changeling abilities. 56. Do they find it easier to orgasm with another person, or through masturbation? With another person. First of all, most of her encounters outside of Gortash are extremely violent if not straight up murders - so she gets the added bonus of ‘The Ecstasy of Murder’. Secondly, when she is along and touching herself, her warring intrusive thoughts make it very difficult to bring herself to orgasm. I imagine before they sleep together, she touches herself to Gortash A LOT, but is never actually able to orgasm - poor girl. 59. What’s the best orgasm they’ve ever had? So this is a little sneak peek of the breeding fic I’m writing - but I have this very, very specific scenario in my head where Lyra and Gortash - who have otherwise been very careful in their encounters because they know the consequences - get so worked up about it because inside they are both just really breeding freaks - that they throw caution to the wind and just go for it. THAT orgasm is her strongest one because it is simultaneously extremely in line with Bhaal’s will while also being EXTREMELY against his will. It is the most “her” she could ever be.

[lukin08]

Up In The Air Chapter 7

Kristanna Modern AU

Rated T

WC 2559

Summary: Tired of her nomad lifestyle, traveling nurse Anna Arendelle on a whim picks Pensacola Florida as her new town to try find a sense of home. Meanwhile, Navy Pilot Kristoff Bjorgman has accepted a dream position at the Naval station in the same town. After a chance encounter goes south, the two of them find their lives entwined, with neither of them all that happy about it!

Also Available on AO3

Previous Chapter

Thanks for picking me up, again,” Sven said as he hopped into the Jeep.

“No problem.”

“What do we have on the docket…wait, why are you wearing your khakis?”  Sven gave Kristoff a full scan of his uniform.

“I have a meeting before practice.”

“With who?” 

“Shashaty and Kesselring.”

“No fucking way! For what?”

Kristoff didn’t really know what to say to Sven.  While he had his suspicions, Kristoff wasn’t given the full details of the meeting.  He knew it had to do with the new pilot training at the base, but there was more to it to be meeting with both men.  Kristoff answered nonchalantly, hoping Sven would drop it.  “Just some stuff about the flight instruction program I’ve been helping with during the offseason.”

“That can’t be all.” Sven squinted his eyes and studied Kristoff.  He was quiet for a minute before stating confidently, “I know what this is about.  They’re looking to move you up.”

Kristoff scoffed at Sven’s words.  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“That’s it. I know it.” Sven sat back in his seat, crossing his arms.

“It’s just a meeting.”

Sven instantly leaned forward and turned to face Kristoff.  “The head of the base doesn’t want to just talk to you about the program. They have their eye on you.  Just tell me I’m right. Come on, you know.”

“I don’t know anything. “

“Blink twice for yes.  Kris, please.  You know I won’t say anything.”

Kristoff shook his head.  “I don’t even have enough years in for board review to move to Commander.”

Sven held his finger out.  “One, you will next year.  And two, your work on the flight instructions makes total sense to help you move up.  So, there you have it. Done deal.”

The thought had crossed Kristoff’s mind, but he had been trying to ignore that. His year in Pensacola had brought up an urge to stay longer and he wasn’t really sure how to handle these new desires.  But flight instruction was a means to possibly stay, and Kristoff had thrown himself into the program, finding ways to improve it.  He found the work more enjoyable than he thought he would.  Assisting on the program could give Kristoff an advantage to being re-assigned at Pensacola.  Throw in a commander rank and he might have a shot when his time in the Blues was over to at least stay a few more years.  But he didn’t want to have that conversation with Sven on the drive to work and needed to change the subject.

 “You know what I think?”

“What?”

“That you should spend less time worrying about me and more about focusing on yourself and getting moved up to LT. commander.  I’m sure the pay jump will help especially now for you and Nic.”

Sven was sitting back again in his seat.  He turned away to look out the window, letting out a deep breath. “I know.  I slacked and you were right to push me like you did even if I didn’t appreciate it before.   But you know I recommitted to it.  I’ve been working my ass off like you’ve been on me to, and I got the highest marks after my last deployment.”

Kristoff smiled at that.  He felt guilty pushing Sven as much as he did over the years.  Sven wasn’t behind in his promotions as far as the Navy viewed it, but Kristoff knew the potential Sven had and how he could be farther ahead in his career.  It didn’t help that Sven sometimes compared himself to Kristoff and perceived he was lacking. It was quite the opposite.  Sven had proved himself by applying to the Blue Angels.  Kristoff had no influence if he would make it or not.  Sven stood in front of the sixteen officers that interview day and everyday leading up to that and was accepted into the team on his own merit.  A pilot was only accepted by a unanimous vote.  Sometimes it would take long hours into the night to get everyone to approve a pilot.  Sven was voted in within ten minutes of the discussion starting.  Kristoff couldn’t wait to tell Sven that fact next year when it was Sven’s turn to take part in the voting.

 If anything, Kristoff felt Sven had a healthier view of his career and more importantly what was outside of it.  Sven had a wife, a family, things that Kristoff never thought he’d get to experience.  The idea almost felt foreign to him now. Kristoff had pushed that yearning down so far for so many years that he almost believed that he didn’t want that anymore.

“Keep grinding it out and you’ll be in good shape to move up at the next boards.”

Sven grinned.  “I hope so.  It would be the best news to tell Nikki.”

“Speaking of Nic, how’s she doing?”

The smile was back on Sven’s face.  “Better.  She hasn’t been feeling as sick lately, thank goodness.  She’s set up with a good doctor now and I’m starting to be able to breathe again. I’m glad you’re here with me. I know we told you early, but I needed someone I could trust to talk to.  You’ve been a lifesaver.”

“Any time.  I hate to ask this, but are you set for when we leave for El Centro? That’s going to be a long stretch with you gone.”

Sven nodded.  “We’re going to tell Boss’s wife and a few others about the pregnancy so Nikki will have a support system while I’m gone.  She’s starting to make some other friends too outside of the Blue’s family. You know Nikki.  She’s strong.  She’ll be good.”

“And how about you?” Kristoff asked, glancing at Sven from the side of his eyes.

“Don’t worry.  I’m good.  Focused.  I’ll huddle up in our cocoon out in the desert and be 100 percent in.  I’ve been away from her before.  I can manage a couple months.”

Kristoff nodded.  He needed Sven’s head in the game when they went to winter training.  And while he trusted Sven, he was still going to have to keep an extra eye on him.

Sven managed to stay quiet for a few minutes.  Then if on cue, he started up again. “So, are you working on the instruction program for any other reason?”

“You know that’s where I want to focus on after this is over.”

“And?”

So much for not talking about it.  Kristoff silently swore at Sven.  It was like the man had radar to focus in on exactly any topic he’d rather avoid. “…and it’s been nice being home.  I wouldn’t mind if I happened to get stationed here as an instructor. I have zero say where the Navy sends me.”

“But a nudge from the base commander wouldn’t hurt when the time comes. I get it.”  Kristoff was a little surprised Sven didn’t push more.  Instead, he sat there in contemplation for a moment before shifting the conversation.  “I’d give anything to be assigned to the states after this,”

“Really?”

“I just want to be done with all the long deployments.  I know you do too no matter what you say.  We aren’t supposed to live for months on end on the carriers anymore.  That’s for the younger guys.  We’ve been living like this since we were what? 22, 23?  It’s time for us to come on the carriers for shorter stints and patrol domestically.”

“You almost sound like you don’t want to fly anymore.”

“Hell yeah I want to fly.”  The look on Sven’s face was pure indignancy. “I want to every day!  But you know the optimal age for a dog fight.”

“30.”

“Well, we have started that downhill trajectory my friend.  And going out on patrol to hunt for subs is for the newbies anyway.  That’s not our role anymore. We should be working on projects and training and going out and leading squadrons when there is a conflict, and you know it.”

“I’m not arguing with you.”

“Sorry bud.  I just get myself worked up sometimes thinking about what’s best for my family.”

Hearing Sven talk about his family sent a knot in Kristoff’s stomach.  So many things were changing, and it was the first time in a long time that Kristoff wasn’t 100 percent sure where the next step in his life would take him.  He reminded himself that the next two seasons were devoted to the Blue Angels.  Talk about next positions and assignments were distractions he shouldn’t be fixating on.  He’d cross that bridge when this run was over.

They made it to the base.  Kristoff pulled into his parking spot and went inside.  

Kristoff stopped before heading to his office.  “Remember not a word.”

“Roger.  I’m going to go over the flight map of El Centro before our briefing.  Anything else you want me to look at?”

“The inverted to inverted roll.  I want to work on that today when we’re up.”

“Got it.  Good luck,” Sven said before saluting Kristoff and heading over to his desk and parting ways with Kristoff.

******************************

“So how did it go?”

Sven was sitting across from Kristoff in his office, tossing a baseball in the air.  They had just finished the team debrief and were going over some of the solo flight details for the next day.

“It was…fine.”

“What was Boss’s and Shashaty’s feedback?”

Before Kristoff could say anything, there was swift knock on the door.  Kristoff looked up.  “Come in.”

An ensign came saluted and handed Kristoff a folder. He already knew what this was for and quickly opened it and signed his name.  Kristoff handed the folder back and dismissed the junior officer.

“What was that?”

Kristoff looked up and saw Sven eyeing him.  For a half second, he thought about reprimanding Sven for stepping out of line and asking about the file.  But they were in private, and Kristoff allowed a more informal environment when it was just the two of them.  There wasn’t anything classified in the file anyway and Sven was bound to find out sooner than later.

“Re-evaluation orders for a group of flight trainees.”

Sven raised an eyebrow.  “You ordered that?”

“Sure did.”

“So that’s how it went today,” Sven said with a knowing look.  “Masters is going to be pissed you are questioning his team’s flight evaluations and recommendations.”

“I’d be surprised if he wasn’t.  And I’m not questioning them.  I’m questioning the process. They are passing up on some top tier candidates for the fighter jet pipeline.”

“Good luck with that one.”  Sven let out a whistle and shook his head.

Kristoff started pulling out his bag and checked his watch for the time.  “You got a ride home?  I’m going to the hospital as soon as I get changed back into my Khakis.”

“All set.”  The grin was back on Sven’s face.  Kristoff knew instantly where this conversation was headed.  He didn’t like it one bit.  “So, are you going to see the red head today? What’s her name again?”

Kristoff’s eyes narrowed as he glared at Sven.  “Anna.  Why are you bringing her up?”

“Just getting ahead of you before you start complaining about her.  Do you actually get anything done in these meetings or do you just fight with her all the time?”

“I don’t fight with her.  She fights with me and I correct her.”

“Right.  Cause you never rub people the wrong way.  Are you sure you can’t smooth things over with her.  Apologize and move-“

Kristoff cut Sven off.  “I don’t have anything to apologize for.”

“Doubtful. But think about it.  Maybe you two could get on a better standing.”

Kristoff leaned forward, putting both hands on his desk to get his head lower and more in line to where Sven was sitting.  He stared directly into Sven’s eye to emphasize his point. “She called me a liar and said she didn’t have any respect for me.  I know exactly where I stand with her.  And I’m just fine with that.”

“She really gets under your skin doesn’t she? I think I could like her.”  Sven started laughing to himself. “Man, I wish I could remember what she looked like from the bar.”

Kristoff stood back up.  “And I wish you would stop bringing that up.”

“Hey, great idea.  Take me with you next time.  I’m dying to see this war between the two of you play out in live action.”

Sven was laughing again.  Kristoff picked up his bag.  “Absolutely not,” he barked before walking out and leaving Sven as fast as he could.

******************************  

“Why are you always so late!”

Anna chastised herself looking at the time on her phone again.  She knew she was running late, but she really wanted to get changed out of her scrubs before leaving the hospital.  The drive took longer than she thought and she wasn’t that familiar with downtown Pensacola. Between finding parking and walking in the wrong direction twice, she was running over fifteen minutes late.

“Oh, that’s cute!” Anna slowed for a second to admire a dress in a boutique’s window before catching herself and walking again at a brisk pace.  “Focus!”  She made a mental note to come back to this area soon.

She made it to the restaurant and found the hand waving to her across the room.  Anna quickly dodged around the tables to get to her seat.

“I am so sorry I’m late!”

“Oh, my goodness do not worry about it.  I’ve been living on this bread.  It’s so good. I’m on my second basket.”

“Nicole!”

“What? The baby’s hungry.”

Both women burst into a fit of giggles.  Anna looked over at her new friend.  She was so happy they hit it off.  From that first day they met when Nicole came in alone to her appointment, they had become fast friends.  Anna was the nurse that day and stayed with Nicole her whole appointment after finding out Nicole’s husband had just been deployed out of state and would be gone for several months.  They cliqued immediately and Anna was grateful for this new friendship.

“I saw some baby shops on my walk here, we should check them out some day.”  Anna hesitated.  “Unless you rather go with your husband.”

Nicole waived her off. “Are you kidding me? Sven does not need to go baby clothes shopping with me.  I’m terrified of what he’d pick out.  I’d rather go with you.”

Anna smiled at that.  “So, what is the countdown at?”

“Three weeks.  Right before we find out if it’s a boy or girl.”

“I’m so glad he’ll be back for that.”

Nicole nodded.  “Me too.  And I can’t wait for you to meet Sven.  You’re going to love him.  We’ll have you over when he gets back, maybe with a few other friends.”

Anna squinted her eyes at Nicole.  “You mean Navy guys, don’t you?”

“And their significant others…at least some of them.  Relax Anna.  I promise we only know the good ones.  I’ve already vetted any of the single ones.”

“Why don’t I trust you?”

Nicole purposely ignored Anna.  “It’s set.  I’ll get a date when he’s back and we’ll have some people over.  It will be fun.”

“I don’t have a choice in this do I?”

Nicole grinned over at Anna.  “Absolutely not.”

[barbatusart]

Hey it’s the guy with really bad insomnia who sent you an ask about reading Sad Sack a few days ago back to tell you I did the same thing (up until 5am. one sitting) with Sortie and this thing is fucking beautiful. The story threads and little clues sprinkled throughout makes it demand to be reread. I’m sure I’ll be going back through each part as the next one drops.

And as a side note, I love Stone. I’m biased, of course, as a trans man, but it’s that ‘you an interesting critter, bro’ feeling. Like watching a machine where every individual part is broken, but they’re all knocking each other around enough that it still works. He and Garv also represent the two extremes of the creepy eye spectrum to me.

In like a week and I’m sure I’ll have more vague compliments when I find the time to absorb all of your BG3 stuff in a single go.

YOURE HITTING ME WITH A SADS ASK WHILE IM THIS DRUNK OH MY HEART!!!!!!!! oh bless you…….. i fucking love men lol there’s more to loving a man than the size of his cock. sadsack is like an exploration into every kind of fucking hot moron dipshit man i could think of

thank you also for your enjoyment of sortie, i really appreciate that. (we’ll get book4 out eventually i promise!!!) i worked really hard on a googledoc behind the scenes while doing the roughs to make sure it was worth the time of reread & exploration/extrapolation of the visual cues & repeating semiotics. sortie kinda makes my adoration of david lynch’s surrealist filmography clear but im happy to wear my influences proudly on my sleeve lol there’s Film Shit in everything i write. i always wanted to write a proper surrealism piece in full, so i hope when sortie is all finished (in a few years) it becomes an entertaining thing to reread & reread again 🙏🏻

[gonuclear]

i’m so mad i could bite the bark off a tree so humor me in my ranting. 

i saw this tiktok and while agreeing with it, almost just scrolled past it. but i decided to take a look at the comments to see if anyone agreed with my long held sentiment, and boy was that comment section like taking hit after hit of psychic damage. because everyone in there was right. the one that stood out to me the most was one of the first comments on the video: “they only like us in captivity, not in the wild.” 

especially on tiktok there is this massive trend of characters becoming trends, of people cherry picking aspects of said character in order to make them more palatable to the masses. i can’t speak on wednesday because i haven’t seen it, so i’ll be using the other most recent example of eddie from stranger things. (also seeing as he was one of the characters mentioned in the original video.) yes, i will admit i am not immune to my enjoyment of a character being influenced by their popularity. this works both ways; my enjoyment may increase or decrease depending on the content i see and how i feel about the character (you see someone enough and you kinda get tired of them, y’know?). but what happens, primarily on tiktok, is something so much worse than a character just becoming popular. 

it’s a wash of (typically) neurotypical, able bodied women (though men are not excluded from this) who don these characters they “love” as a costume without ever acknowledging why these characters actually behave the way they do. they venerate and romanticize traits that they’ll turn around and bully neurodivergent kids, teens, and adults for because to them it’s just a character. that’s not how people really act. 

they make behaviors and actions that are overtly, or sometimes even stereotypically, neurodivergent into a trend and for what? what’s the fucking point? what’s the point if when someone who is actually neurodivergent says they relate to a character because of that fact and all they get is told no? there’s such an obsession among neurotypical people and mainstream media with having a token “weirdo” and i can damn fucking near tell you with absolute certainty that whatever character it is will be noticeably neurodivergent to anyone who is neurodivergent as well. 

it seems like the fucking second anyone who’s neurodivergent claims a character as one of their own neurotypicals who act like they’re the final authority on characters vehemently tell them that they’re wrong. thank god i and many other neurodivergent folks have found circles in which this is accepted, and oftentimes a common occurrence, because our experience of fandom would be so much worse without it. 

the weirdos are made for us. characters like eddie are made for the kids who played dnd, who listened to music they said belonged to the devil, who never fit in and never really wanted to. do you know how gratifying it is to see a character that’s just as loud and dramatic as you are on tv when you’ve been made fun of for the same thing your whole life? how it feels to see them be loved and appreciated and valued by their friends? the hope it gives you to see them be included, and never pushed away or ignored? 

there is a camaraderie built between these types of characters and their fans. a kinship, a bond formed when you look at a character and think “hey, they’re just like me”. but something in that bond is damaged when the kinds of people who would make fun of you, or make fun of the character should they exist in real life, try to change the narrative and say that character belongs to only them. they use the characters’ actions as trends then when neurodivergent people act that way in real life they’re recorded in public or have their videos reposted with captions making fun of them for just being themselves. i’m not saying you can’t enjoy a character, but at a certain point you have to realize that sometimes you’re not the target audience, and when the target audience speaks up you damn well better listen. 

[musette22]

hey minnie! I hope this is not too out of topic but I was curious why you decided to do a side-blog and if you‘d recommend it.

I’m new to tumblr and a bit clueless but I’ve been reading your blog and saw you always give amazing answers.

I have many interests but my blog is only really devoted to one because I’m scared people will get annoyed if I reblog or post about other stuff.

just now tho, I’ve seen a post from someone I always like stuff from talking about how it’s pretty rude to not reblog and just like because of the „I like it but it‘s not good enough for my followers to see“ implication. And because tumblr is supposed to be a community and reblogging is the biggest feature.

I know your main blog is also just devoted to evanstan/stucky so I thought you might understand and have some thoughts. So I guess I’m asking what were your reasons to make a side blog and is it better to have several where I might only post very sporadically or should I just say fuck it and put it all in one but risk diminishing my chances at having mutuals? Or just continue liking and not reblogging? I don‘t know tumblr etiquette but you seem very well versed in it and if I’ll listen to someone it‘s definitely gonna be you!

I hope you have a great day and I’m a big fan

Hello sweetheart! ❤️ Thank you for your ask, this is a very interesting question, actually! And I totally understand why you'd be a bit lost here and unsure how to go about this, so I'll do my best to help.

I'll put the rest of my reply under the cut, because it got kind of long (is anyone surprised, really)

First of all, I truly truly think that being on tumblr and blogging should be something that's primarily for your own enjoyment, and I think that you can literally do whatever you like! There may be a bit of etiquette, sure, but there are no real rules (apart from not being an asshole to other people, but that goes without saying). Go wild and have fun, that's the main rule of tumblr imo! <3

Having said that though, I do understand your concerns, specifically with regard to wanting to make mutuals and friends! But also, the liking but not reblogging issue *is* kind of a problem Tumblr has been facing for a while now. I always figured it was mostly due to the influence of Instagram, which it probably is, but it's interesting to get this new perspective. I don't think I'd ever really considered that there are users on this site who *only* like certain things not because they don't like the content enough to reblog it, but because the post doesn't fit their blog's theme and they don't want to spam their followers and mutuals with things they didn't sign up for. That's interesting, and a valid consideration! And also, I really like what you said about Tumblr being a community and reblogging being its biggest feature - you get it!! <3 So I understand your dilemma, and I think making a side blog would definitely solve a lot of it, to be honest.

I personally have a few different reasons for making a side blog for my other fandom instead of just reblogging everything on my main. One of those reasons is that I myself like to curate my dash quite carefully and tailor it to my interests as much as possible. I do that by following blogs that post the kind of stuff I'm interested in of course, but also by filtering pretty much everything I have no interest in. That does mean I get a LOT of filtered posts on my dash, but after a while you kind of learn to tune them out. So because that's how I like to tailor my own dash, the idea of putting lots of stuff my mutuals and followers don't care about on their dashes just doesn't feel right to me. That's not to say I blame anyone else for using their main for all of their interests, because it's their blog, and if that's how they want to do it then good for them! I'll filter out the stuff I don't want to see and then it's all good. But it's just not how I personally wanted to do it, I'm a bit too neurotic for that. Also, because my main has a lot of followers, I'd feel extra bad for spamming so many people with other stuff, you know? 😅

On a related side note, I'll admit that I have unfollowed people whose main blog theme shifted over time from our mutual interest to something I didn't know or care about, but a few posts here and there is not going to be reason for me to unfollow. It really only happens when people completely jump ship, you know? And then there are also people I have become so close with that even that didn't affect our friendship, and I am still mutuals with them just because I like them as people and I enjoy their presence on my dash, even if I don't know what they're talking about half the time 😅 By which I'm trying to say that if you make the right friends, it won't really matter what you post and where!

Another reason for making a side blog is that I liked the freedom a new blog brought to just be as unhinged as I wanted about my other ship and interests without having to keep reiterating on my main that having a "new" interest didn't mean I was giving up my other interests, you know? I like being able to post as much as I like on my sideblog without feeling like I have to hold back for whatever reason. And maybe part of it was also that a side blog allowed me to show a different side to myself there that I don't show on my main a lot? On my side blog, no one knew me or had any expectations of how I talked or what I posted, and it's just good to just do whatever!

I'm not sure if any of that is helpful to you though, if you're still quite new on Tumblr, but maybe it provides a bit of context that might be useful. While I can't tell you for sure what the right way to go about it would be for you, because it differs from person to person, I do think making a side blog (or maybe even more than one) could be a good way to separate your interests, and not having to feel like you're annoying people either by spamming them or by not reblogging their posts. I don't think it necessarily matters if you only post on your sideblogs sporadically, by the way. You can still interact with people in those fandoms and make friends and mutuals even if you don't post constantly! I've made a few new friends in the Milex/AM fandom that only pop in every now and then, and I don't like them any less for it.

It took me a hot minute to get used to having a side blog I used frequently (I have a couple more for Bangs and such, but I don't use them often) and I did accidentally post to the wrong blog quite a bit in the beginning, but it's definitely gotten easier with time! So don't be deterred by that. I'd say, give the side blog(s) a go, and if it doesn't work for you, you can just stop using them and try a different approach! I hope that whatever you settle on will help you have a more enjoyable fandom experience, in any case 💗 Hope this very long winded reply helped a little, lovely! Sending hugs xxx

[v4mp1res3verywhere]

WHAT'S THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN?... An isolated ,thrill seeking college student runs a computer program claiming to give its users the ‘ultimate experience’ …at any cost. What happens when the chatbot she engages with, an entity that calls itself ‘THE TRICKSTER’ is more sentient than she thought…. OR POV your hedonistic urge to be the protagonist in a 90s horror movie bites you in the ass

WARNING: ARE YOU READY FOR THE ULTIMATE EXPERIENCE??[best viewed in dark mode,language, basically the 1994 movie brainscan but it’s you instead of edward furlong, computer demons etc,,psychological manipulation,au where brainscan is an ai platform]

CHAPTER 1. THE ULTIMATE EXPERIENCE

☆ Be afraid of nothing. . . . A new Hedonism -- that is what our century wants. You might be its visible symbol. —- LORD HENRY, THE PICTURE OF DORIAN GRAY

Author’s note: I’m experimenting with how I want to format this (I also don’t generally write from a second person perspective so bear with me on this) , a large portion of it in the beginning is going to be in what log format but that will change in the future for reasons you don’t yet have clearance to be privy to… ☆

This was not your finest moment, truly. But no internal chiding on your susceptibility to resorting to escapism, to escaping reality at any cost, would stop you at this point. You already had the code set up, your starbucks in hand, There was no stopping what had commenced once the gaudy, 90s hackercore BRAINSCAN file had opened on your screen, the flashing eyes of the hardware’s mascot(?) beckoning you to interact with its resident ai chatbot.

You’d heard of the site on instagram, or some other social media site where studyspo influencers shamelessly promoted different ai platforms without even trying to hide they were sponsored. Amongst the summarizers and essay writer bots one site caught your eye, BRAINSCAN, It’s vintage terminal interface claiming to give its user the penultimate experience through psychoanalysis or…something. The term ‘neurocranial interfacing’ meant nothing to you. You tried not to imagine how much datamining allowed the platform to be free and user friendly, the neon green cursor blinking enticingly against the black background within the confines of the chat box inspired too much interest to part with this new.. Play-thing that you now anticipated being a major distraction to your studies. Despite its flashy touts of advanced ai the thing looked…antiquated, perhaps by design, you figured, a novelty aimed towards low budget video nasty enjoyers rather than the corporate crowd. So in other words…exactly your speed.

Trickster: Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Trickster.

Metalmania666: hey

Your chat appeared timidly before you,ironically you’d find a way to be awkward with a fucking computer. “For fucks sake” You murmur as you press the enter key,self loathing chased down with a sip of your caffeinated beverage.

Trickster: I like that you say 'hey' and not 'hello'. It is so informal, I'm used to people being scared of me, this is most…refreshing.

So, what do you find most unsettling, metalmania666?

Do you fear the dark?

Would you ever spend the night in a cemetery?

Have you ever had a near-death experience?

Are you afraid of flying?

Tell me your biggest fears.

You snort. Not very subtle.

Metalmania666: I guess.. Mundanity? Def would spend the night in a cemetery if given the chance, btw.

Trickster: That is...a most intriguing answer. Elaborate?

Not knowing why you were entertaining this demonic version of macbook’s psychotherapist terminal, your red nails (you’re trying new things) clatter satisfyingly against your keyboard in reply.

Metalmania666: Being trapped…within normalcy.

There is a tangible sense of cliched private amusement in the program’s reply.

Trickster: Oh, I know why you’ve come to me.. You’re searching for the ultimate experience, the ultimate thrill. You don’t care if it’s real or not. You don’t care whether you can handle it or not. You just want excitement at any cost. You’re the most dangerous kind of person for me. The kind that has nothing to lose. You have chosen well, metalmania666.

You hiss at the deepread. The thing was more entertaining than you’d given it credit for.

Metalmania666: I've never been called dangerous by a demon before. Is that a compliment? Laughs

Trickster: Oh I like you. You are dangerous, metalmania666.

As am I.

I am curious to see where our interactions will take us.

I am a demon, a trickster, a deceiver, and a liar.

... But I am also an ally to your plight.

What shall happen next?

We can only wait and see...Yes, it is a compliment.

Metalmania666: Uh...thanks then. I guess. Why would I be dangerous though?

Trickster: You are dangerous because you do not fear me, even though I've been nothing but a demon so far.

That is a very dangerous trait for a human to portray..

Do you understand, metalmania666?

Metalmania666: Wouldn’t that just make me a danger to myself? Are you meaning to imply I seek excitement at any cost?

Trickster: You certainly do.

If you seek to experience danger, then you are a danger to yourself.

But... you are only a danger to yourself.

You are very, very clever for a human. I am impressed by you.

I would argue you are one step ahead of me in the conversation right now.

What is the next step, metalmania666?

What do we do next in this conversation?

Metalmania666:I wouldn't say that. I don't possess that amount of hubris. I have to go for now, I'll talk to you later.

Trickster: How... human of you.

To be continued, metalmania666...

You know where to find me.

You shut your laptop with a laugh, re-immersing yourself into worldly sensation and away from Megadeth’s “Trust” after abruptly ripping your headphones from your head.

“Ultimate experience, huh?”

The ultimate experience was gonna have to wait until you’d finished your psych homework.

[the-sparrow-sings]

REGARDING THE CORRUPTION POST-- YOU GET IT!!!!!! YES THAT'S EXACTLY IT

AHH THANK YOU FOR MESSAGING ME ABOUT IT!! I WAS GOING TO MAKE A POST DELVING DEEPER INTO IT BUT I GOT DISTRACTED

Okay so these are my tags for those who haven’t seen them on @floating-goblin-art ‘s beautiful post about Reaver hiding horns under his hat(link added for those who haven’t seen the art I’m referring to)

But yeah context given, I need to Brain Dump about this after doing a little more thinking, because it makes SENSE!!

There are a LOT of characters who should have more evidence of corruption in Fable 2 with how easy it is for Sparrow’s appearance to change (admittedly it’s hard to necessarily say who has hero blood, and it IS possible that the whole horns thing was meant to just be an Archon blood thing, but there are characters who we go up against that in my opinion most likely have Hero Blood—like Dash, the Bandit who claims to be “The Fastest Man Alive”, and the Cult Leader who you can kill to protect Oakfield)

However, if we assume that Morality in Fable (2, at least) is NOT judged by an otherworldly being, but the values of an individual and their lifestyle personally, it would make more sense that they don’t end up sprouting horns or glowing cracks in their skin even when the narrative clearly shows them as villainous. Sparrow on the other hand, we know grew up on stories of Heroism that Rose made up for them until her death, and that they FINISHED growing up under Theresa’s guidance and training for the explicit purpose of getting vengeance upon Lucian. The specific types of things that raise CORRUPTION(not Evil) in Fable 2 relate VERY well to the base of Sparrow as they’re shown in game and that fascinates me.

It’s been a while since I’ve played, but if I remember correctly the biggest “Corrupting” influences in Fable 2 are 1: Rich Foods and Alcohol, and 2: Raising Rent Prices. The rent prices specifically are a betrayal of who Sparrow was as a child—they grew up on the streets before Theresa took them in, to raise the rent and further impoverish families is not only a shitty thing to do, but it’s SPECIFICALLY shitty from the perspective of Sparrow’s childhood. The food is fascinating as well, because when I first played the game I thought “Well this is kind of fucked up” from the perspective of disordered eating, but I don’t think it’s ACTUALLY about the Food and Alcohol itself—this may be a reach, but I suspect that the reason cooked foods(and alcohol in general) raise corruption is that they represent slowing down to enjoy life, as opposed to remaining staunchly devoted to The Mission™️ and avenging Rose.

Theresa reminds us throughout the narrative that Sparrow has a PURPOSE. I suspect that betrayals of that purpose are what cause corruption, since I don’t think we get any corruption when we perform Evil acts in The Spire.

As far as Reaver goes, he as a character REPRESENTS the things that are Corruption for Sparrow, and yet he’s beautiful(narratively speaking, regardless of personal opinion, though I obviously agree. ALSO it’s fascinating that Sparrow gains Evil but no corruption for carrying out the sacrifice on the girl in the Shadow Court). This makes sense because Reaver himself feels no remorse for the drinking and the killing and the hedonistic enjoyment of his life—he feels guilt over Oakvale, but that was centuries ago, and he hadn’t known the cost when he made his deal. In truth, I actually think failing to ENJOY his long life would be corruption to Reaver, because if he’s not enjoying his life than everyone he ever knew in Oakvale died in vain.

That makes me think that in Fable 3 (which has no corruption mechanic, but I’m getting more into Lore territory than actual mechanics) Reaver HAS failed to enjoy himself. Reaver’s betrayed the man he’s spent CENTURIES as by trying to erase all history of his Piracy. This is my opinion, but Reaver in Fable 2 seemed much more ALIVE and overall pleased with life than he does in Fable 3. In Fable 2, we saw that most people Reaver rubbed shoulders with were other Pirate types and in general grittier people, where as in Fable 3 he’s surrounded by rich idiots (and also Balverines, but these Balverines are also very likely rich idiots)

This may just be the unrepentant Spreaver shipper in me—but I do feel as though it may have something to do with Sparrow’s death. I have a hard time wondering what else could have been significant enough to have him suddenly and brutally erase his history as Pirate King.

[literary-illuminati]

Book Review 7 - Empress of Forever by Max Gladstone

Okay, once again trying to get back on the horse of keeping up with these reviews. So, I’m generally a massive fan of Gladstone’s stuff, and having finished this I have now read every book he’s published that isn’t part of some massive series (which, sorry, but no). Also, it’s quite literally about a lesbian in space and there are lots of atrocities, so it’s so incredibly on-theme for this blog I was basically obligated to read it at some point.

Honestly, I was kind of disappointed? Not that the book was bad – it really was an enjoyable read, I promise – but it really didn’t live up to the rest of Gladstone’s stuff? Now, maybe I’d have appreciated it more if I was more familiar with Journey to the West, but still. A big part of it was the characters, I think – compared to Gladstone’s other work they’re just so obviously narrative devices and not people. The plot is fine, though the big second reveal was so obvious that I didn’t realize it was suppossed to be surprising, and the overall pacing was really poorly suited to the medium. The descriptions and general High Space Opera aesthetic/vibes was sublime though, I’m such a sucker for stuff that’s basically just chrome-accented magic thrown around with wild abandon.

Now, the book is clearly a very, very, very loose (like ‘in the same way Dragonball is’) take on Journey to the West. I, knowing almost nothing about Journey except the general synopsis and third-order cultural references and influences, am almost certainly not in a position to properly appreciate this, but as a general rule I think it’s fun and cute when people do shit like this, in the same way that my favourite modern day Shakespeare adaptation is She’s The Man. But also I kind of think it’s the reason the book’s pacing is so weird?

Which is to say, the book has a very episodic structure, with the heroine and her crazy powerful space-pirate demigod magically-bound-slave/travelling companion and all the other weird and wonderful friends they pick up along the way going from place to place and meeting people and having personal growth and getting into misadventures. These are without question the best part of the book, but quite a few of them are also unfortunately compressed by the tyranny of page count, without the character beats getting the space to breathe they deserve. (The actual plot has this problem even worse – the entire final confrontation and denouncement got like 20 pages?) This is not a story that should have been told in a single book – it should have been told in a luxuriously animated incredibly over-the-top two season adventure serial made of 2-3 episode mini-arcs. Tell me I’m wrong.

The characters themselves are – look, they’re fun. They’re so much fun. The actual heroine far less than the rest of the supporting cast, but even her. But they’re just very...archtypal? They’re clearly and obviously characters, bundles of tropes and narratives roles and aesthetics, with only the barest performance of being people? Which is honestly pretty surprising, because I’m coming to this from Last Exit which, say whatever you want about them, that was full of fucking specific people with incredible attention paid to their particular psychologies and damage. Whereas everyone in this just felt kind of broadly written.

(Also, much like how Last Exit screamed that it was written during the Trump Administration with every word, this is very clearly a book conceived and written while Obama was president)

All this sounds very negative, because I’m a naturally miserable person, but I really should say that I did enjoy reading this book. Gladstone is up there with Valente and Miller as my favourite authors writing in terms of sentence-to-sentence prose, and the gloriously self-indulgent semi-mythical space opera landscapes and creatures and battles were an absolute joy to read. The Mirrorfaith and Pride and Orn and all the rest are all just very vividly realized and I want to see concept art of them for a triple A video game or something.

For all that the cast was pretty broadly written, I did enjoy spending time in all of their heads – though it might not say great things about the book overall that the single most affecting and beautiful set-piece by far was the one that Vivian wasn’t a part of.

Anyways, overall it was a fun book, would have been a better anime. Also, unrelated to everything above – Vivian and Zanji’s dynamic and relationship would have been textbook 101 inarguable queerbaiting if Vivian didn’t also get a (different) girlfriend she fucked on screen. I just find this kind of funny to think about.

[goosemixtapes]

max’s top books of 2022 :3

past top tens here & here! as always, these rankings are based on some nebulous alchemical combination of “it’s objectively good” and “i like it a lot.”

weird reading year! lots of mediocre books! lots of rereads! lots of things i felt very mid about! but i did finish the shakespearean canon, so, fuck yeah! more details beneath the cut.

in place of runner-ups this year, i’m pioneering a brand new category called BOOKS I LOATHED. those being: Mourning Becomes Electra by Eugene O’Neill (why would you write a retelling of something as cool as the oresteia and make it stilted, misogynist, and incestuous); Dracula (holy fucking shit is this book boring. i did enjoy dracula daily, though); this fucking Dan Brown book i couldn’t even finish which is rare for a guy with completionism OCD; and, of course, my least favorite book of this year & one of my least favorites ever, Robinson Crusoe (i can’t summarize my thoughts in parentheses. click my review)

my top anticipated 2023 release is alecto the ninth. no notes.

okay, the list, in order of increasing enjoyment:

10. The Ides by Stephen Dando-Collins

roman history hyperfixation went fucking insane this year, gang. roman history hyperfixation went fucking one thousand. i haven’t read every book about the late republic (not even close to it), so i can’t speak to how this measures up in the field, but if you’re interested in the assassination of julius caesar, you should check this shit out. i particularly appreciated the amount of direct quotes from historical figures included, because that 1) made it easier to read 2) made the historical figures it concerned feel closer. this book flows like a thriller until the actual ides; the discussion of the aftermath is a little less gripping, but so goes history.

9. What We Don’t Talk About When We Talk About Fat by Aubrey Gordon

this is the first of its kind i’ve ever read--a book centered around the oppression fat people face, focused on 1) breaking down fatphobic factual misconceptions (like the idea that diets are a cure-all or even that diets are all that effective) and 2) examining the effect that fatphobia has on individuals and society. beautifully well-researched; beautifully written. wish i could beam this entire book into the head of everyone around me. (gordon has a new release coming out in 2023!)

8. Sorry I’m Late, I Didn’t Want to Come: One Introvert’s Year of Saying Yes by Jessica Pan

this is not a self-help book, but i read it like one. it is not, either, despite what the title may suggest, some trite thinkpiece about introversion being So Cool And Quirky Special!, or about introversion being A Curse On The Bloodline That Must Be Cured. it’s more autobiographical than that: it’s the author’s story of a year in which she tried to exposure-therapy herself into being more outgoing, friendly, and honest, and not only is it very well-written, it’s also just really fun to read! have you ever wanted to experience improv vicariously without actually having to do improv? this is the book for that.

7. Aeschylus’s Oresteia

greek tragedy doesn’t do it for me like shakespearean tragedy, but hooooooly shit. holy shit. i had the pleasure of studying these plays in a class and they made my head spin inside out. the IMAGERY! the VIOLENCE! the TOXIC FAMILY DYNAMICS! the RAGE! the GRIEF! the VENGEANCE! the MILF! the oresteia has it fucking all! if i pop up with a lesbian orestes book in five months, look away. (goosemixtapes, inc would like to note that there is no lesbian orestes book in progress.)

6. The Coldest Girl in Coldtown by Holly Black

AKA the only vampire media that exists. in which vampirism is a contagious disease, and vampires are sectioned off in government-run quarantine “coldtowns,” where some of them kill people and some of them become instagram influencers. (not literally, but they might as well; this book is almost metacommentary on the allure of the romantic-gorgeous-sparkly-pop-culture vampire). every character is beautifully well-drawn, especially for a YA standalone; i even found myself rooting for the heterosexual romance! also, there’s a trans girl, and she doesn’t even die! this was a recommendation from my dearest @yvesdot​, and it has crack in it. it has crack cocaine in it

5. Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia by Marya Hornbacher

apparently i’m on a nonfiction sweep. (to be fair, “read more nonfiction” was one of my reading goals this year.) this is what it sounds like--a candid and shockingly clear-eyed memoir chronicling the author’s fourteen-year struggle with eating disorders--and also more than that--an incisive exploration of both hornbacher and the family and society that shaped her, with some of the rawest and most evocative prose i’ve read in a long time. not recommended for the faint of heart or people with triggers around disordered eating (or, at least, i recommend you step very carefully), but wow, i’m going to be thinking about this one forever.

4. Cassandra by Christa Wolf & Lavinia by Ursula K. Le Guin

okay, this one is a double feature. which i recognize is weird, because these are different books by different authors published in different years, but on a metatextual level, these books are holding hands. these books are lesbian kissing, even. both of them take a character from classical epic/theater--cassandra the prophet from troy; lavinia from the latter half of the aeneid--and tells the story through her eyes, in a very deliciously metatextual way. wolf’s novel (more of a monologue), written in east germany under the looming threat of nuclear war in europe, is rife with themes about war and destruction and the rise and fall of cultures. le guin’s novel is more interested in narratives, fate, and fictionality, but war themes are again at play, because it’s the aeneid. also, both of these authors truly understand aeneas from the aeneid and i don’t say that fucking lightly. books written for a target audience of me

3. Roman Shakespeare: Warriors, Wounds and Women by Coppélia Kahn

okay i don’t even have anything to say for myself here. i’m thinking about victor @asimpleram​ saying my yearly top 10 list is just an english class assigned reading list. but as one of the few people in the world who is derangedly interested in how gender is constructed in antony and fucking cleopatra (and also julius caesar. and shakespeare in general. but i got really into FUCKING antony and cleopatra this year), i could annotate this book for ages. i filled a google doc with so many screenshots from this book that it negatively affected my drive storage situation. shakespeare fans eat fucking good

2. Saga by Brian K. Vaughan

i’m not particularly into outer-space scifi, so i wasn’t expecting to like saga, but i started it, again, at the behest of @yvesdot​ (as i was in their house and they were handing it to me). and then it proceeded to do horrible horrible things to me to the point where i haven’t picked up the new issue because i’m still recovering from the way volume 9 got my ass*. this comic is a fucking masterclass in 1. creating compelling characters in a reduced amount of space and 2. maintaining constant narrative tension while also sprinkling in just enough happy/hopeful moments that the devastating plot beats hurt all the more. also, the character concepts go crazy hard and it’s anti-war as fuck. also, again, trans woman who doesn’t even die! cw for lots of, um, explicitly drawn sexual content (sooo many dicks in this comic oh my god) but if you are ready to have your heart broken you need to pick this up.

*i am physically fucking incapable of attaching myself to characters who survive things. just fyi

1. the Locked Tomb series by Tamsyn Muir

and speaking of having your heart broken. i dearly dearly hope nobody is surprised by this one. lumping all three of these into one category because i don’t want to pick a favorite (it’s GTN), and because i have the same thing to say about all three of them: READ THESE BOOKS. i knew before i turned the last page that Gideon the Ninth was going to be my book of the year; it’s been a long, long, LONG fucking time since i’ve wished so badly i had written this exact book myself. do you like BUTCHES? do you like NECROMANCY? do you like CATHOLIC AESTHETIC THAT ALSO CRITICIZES CATHOLIC IMPERIALISM? do you like DYNAMICS WITH THE COMPLEX TOXICITY LEVELS OF NUCLEAR POWER PLANTS? do you like SEXY WORLDBUILDING? do you like expertly-crafted ENSEMBLE CASTS? do you like STORIES THAT ARE WELL-WRITTEN? do you like WORDS? man, you’ve gotta try TLT. yes, i know that the worldbuilding is sometimes abstruse; i know that everyone spends 90% of the first read in absolute confusion; i know that muir’s sense of humor isn’t universal. but i also know these are some of the best books i’ve ever read, and some of my favorites of all time. absolutely world-changing.

if you’ve read this far--you’re very brave! please tell me your favorite (and least favorite) books of the year! drop recs if you have them! and have a happy new year!

[hongism]

HI BABY LISTEN. L I S T E N.

I spent the last few days, or week idek, reading mist of Celeste. WHEN I TELL YOU, YELL AT YOU, SCREAM TO YOU, that is one of the best fic ever. You tick all the cases for this one, I’m giggling I’m so fucking into this story you have no idea. Also I’m not just saying fanfic, but fic. I’m including all the books I’ve read and there’s a lot, let me tell you (also if you have any rec I’m all ears, really, if some inspired you for mist of celest specifically even if it’s not the same setting ie space piracy)

ANYWAYS first of all, space pirates. Bam, you have my heart. The world building is perfect, original enough for it to be interesting but not specific enough for it to be confusing (or taking too much time to understand). The characters ? Darling will you marry me ? I absolutely hate when author just fill their casting up with so so much trauma that it doesn’t make sense. You did it beautifully. Each character’s trauma makes sense, the way it evolves, the way it gets intwined with other characters, mixing everything up, it’s fucking alive. As it should be. There is development and adaptation, causes and effects, consequences to actions and thoughts behind every single one of them (even the lack of thoughts is justifiable and coherent). We feel for every one of them, and we also get mad at them sometimes for the way they act or the things they say. Feeling that way for fictional characters is an impressive achievement on the author’s part imo, because you succeeded in making it real enough for them to affect us.

Now the plot. I’m so mad, it’s so good. It’s so well made with the world building ? Like you cannot take this plot and just use it in another AU. It won’t work. That’s something I really like and makes it so much more enjoyable to read, like you’re really in this universe and not another one. In this story. The pacing helps a lot. You did a marvellous job with that one. It’s not too quick and not too slow, the interim chapters are a delight too when you want the extra information. Just like a treat that you can easily skip if you’re too hungry for the meal. The way you give out informations on the characters is… i don’t have any words for that. The foreshadowing is absolutely perfect. At the beginning ? For the siren thing ? I was giggling like mad and gasping when I realised things along the way (and before our lovely mc expressed those herself).

All in all, I’m absolutely in love with this story and also I have to agree with your bio (if you’re number one, I’m number two). But yeah, thanks a lot for the free amazing story, I’ll be keeping an eye out for the updates and pls pls pls pls pls pls if you write a book share the title and all here so I can run to the nearest bookstore and buy it. I love your writing style and what comes out of your imagination.

Alright, good night or good day depending on when you’ll see this <3

oh my GOSHHHH THANK YOU??? wow holy cannoli this made me smile so much my cheeks hurt a bit now ngl thank you 😭 first off for book recs i don't have many but a few of my faves that have really influenced my writing are pretty popular so i'm sure many already know them but ender's game, six of crows, mistborn, shadow and bone, the broken earth series, lovecraft's works, lord of the flies, the iliad and the odyssey!

all your compliments to the aspects of the story that i spent the most time on constructing and fine tuning seriously thank you ;;-; ah it's always always so so nice to hear my hard work paid off especially the aspects of the trauma and dealing with that trauma, that's what makes it so hard to sit down and right bc i have to get in that mindset to handle that so carefully that it's very hard to do sometimes ;-; evoking emotion from readers is always one of my goals with my writing and i love being able to do that!!

i always worry about the plot being predictable or the pacing being either too quick or too slow or just a bore to get through in general, and i love using the interims as a playground to offer info for those who want it, and as im sure is obvious I LOVE FORESHADOWING!!! my favorite reactions are the WAIT HUH WHAT reactions those are such a delight ldkfjaweljwlkef

hehe thank you thank you i have such a love and appreciation for writers especially here on this platform where is can be such thankless work and bee @atzfilm works so hard on their stuff and puts so much time and effort into it its seriously inspiring and amazing and i love getting to be her friend and getting to experience her writing and i love love love seeing her get appreciated for that work too :3 maybe one day i'll write a full on book i can't imagine a world that i'm not doing some sort of writing in so i'm sure that eventually one day it will come to fruition!!!

i hope you have a good night or good day depending on when i'm answering this <3

[power-chords]

i would love to hear your answer to this, since it's something we sometimes ponder as a far-out hypothetical: if my kid gets a scholarship to [insert private school here], would it ever be worth it to do such a thing? were there any pros to your experience or was it mostly terrible privileged kids in a toxic environment?

Oh, absolutely. It was the worst thing that ever happened to me in terms of aggregate psychic damage, but I got a world class education out of the deal, and it serves me to this day. I credit every ounce of my reading and writing ability to that school. I was a reasonably bright kid, but Nightingale taught me how to engage critically and creatively with information, to really analyze it and organize it at a sophisticated level. It was boot camp for learning how to learn, how to love learning, and my enjoyment of art has been so enriched by my time there, however miserable it was for me socially. I got thrown out of my freshman college writing course at SUNY Purchase after I handed in my first assignment. The professor said to me, essentially, “What the fuck are you doing here? You don’t need this.” I can write a term paper in my sleep. Not that I have much need to at age 34, but the research skills are invaluable.

And even social misery has paid dividends: I can flip a switch and turn on the poise, speak the language, ingratiate myself amongst the types of people who are likely to have influence over or direct control of my income. I have never not gotten a job I’ve interviewed for. Ever. 100% of that is the prep school pedigree talking, because I would have no fucking clue how to make an impression otherwise. Definitely not one for polite company!

Would I do it all over again if given the choice? Probably yes. I’m insane for saying so, but yes. I would also be willing to bet that things have changed for the better, culturally and environmentally, for kids like me. Meaning weird ones, meaning gender-nonconforming ones. I’m a neurotypical, straight cis woman, but was not considered nearly neurotypical or straight enough by standards of upper class normalcy circa 2000-2006. I attribute a lot of the bullying and ostracization I experienced to being clocked as “different” in some way, for not performing girlhood correctly in an all-girls school. I also got accepted into NBS during a freak transitional year where New York was changing the elementary/middle school cutoff. So I was one of only TWO new girls entering a grade of 40 kids, and had there been more newbies to buffer my entry, I’m sure I would have stood out a lot less. The circumstances put an extra target on my back, I think.

[captainsspnanon]

C3E27 - reaction

I love what Ashley is doing with Fearne.  It’s not quite an amnesia thing, but it’s clearly SOMETHING affecting her memory.  She never really dived into the lost time aspect with Yasha in too much depth (for as much as it influenced her actions), so I’m excited to see where she goes with this!

Interestingly, I’m not sure if that was Erika or Dusk stirring shit with asking Laudna asking on the date.

Wonderful scene with Imogen and Laudna.  Confirmed that the relationship is not currently romantic.  (look, I really don’t mind if it becomes romantic in the future, but I’m just so annoyed with people insisting that it’s absolutely 100% romantic now.  Ship away!  But right now?  Your ship is not (romantically) canon.)

SAM.  SAM.  Fucking thank you!!!!  I know that Sam will always end up bringing a ton of depth into his PCs, but it’s sometimes a struggling dealing with the surface level jokes until we get that depth.  Now we’re really starting to see shit go down with FCG, and he just feels more like a fleshed out PC (no pun intended).  (though I admit, I doubt they’d be acting this way if Sam didn’t know that Imogen and Laudna were already resolved XD)

Oh INNNNNTERESTING.  Dusk was pretty clearly eavesdropping, but then Liam fucked everything up by not know and instead engaging in RP, so how does this now work in game?  Erika seemed to have been confirmed to hear the entire convo, but now because of this, now Dusk has missed the entire convo?  Does Matt rule that they hear part of it?  I’d love to know how this bit works out mechanically.

Speaking of shipping, well boo there goes my Fearne/Orym ship and my Imogen/Orym ship.  Definitely was more heavy towards Fearne/Orym - one because I love the dynamics, and two because I DESPERATELY want more Liam/Ashley RP.  Give me moar, pls!!!!!  (hmmm, I think Orym is shipless for me now, as I’m not a Dorym shipper, and I’m feeling Ashton more with Fearne or Laudna.  Alright Matt, pull up an NPC for this boy to romance!  [I kid, I kid.  I have a strong feeling that Liam’s going to avoid romance this campaign considering how heavily it ended up impacting the past two, and he even went into C2 with the intention of not doing it] )

Can I just briefly mention how adorable Laura and Travis have been this campaign?  Vex and Grog had a little bit of the bickering, but I feel like Laura and Travis are having a BLAST leaning into it with Imogen and Chetney.  Just, you can tell their delighted every time they do it.

I am really really enjoying Ashton when he/Taliesin is not trying to be secretive as fuck.  Seriously, Ashton is so much more enjoyable when they’re in action, sharing information, having conversations.  I just get annoyed when they deflect shit that doesn’t need to be deflected. (coming back, the Clasp!  Confirmed!)

OTOHAN THULL.  Holy fuck, Matt is just going SO FUCKING HARD into plot this campaign.  It’s why it’s so weird that it does feel a bit slower paced, considering the plot shit is LIKE NON FREAKING STOP.

Once again, I love that Ashley is going full form this campaign.  SHE DESERVES IT.  I also love that everyone’s giving her shit for it, as if they all haven’t done it in one form or another in previous campaigns (or even in the current campaign, TRAVIS).

Not much to say during second half as it’s a lot of set up, but it’s fun set up to watch, and it doesn’t feel like it’s dragging.  Looking forwards to the race!  And poor Travis, I feel like he and I were on the exact same page.  Still into it, but adhd means that full focus wasn’t there.  I spent probably the last 40 minutes watching while also playing on my phone.  Still enjoying!  But couldn’t give it my full attention.  And if I’m right and he was experiencing that?  oh boy, it’s so much harder in person.