#also idk what it is recently with me posting pictures of myself but it's really fun so you're welcome i guess

[lyxchen]

If that isn't Campbell Bain hair then I don't know what is <3

[kozachenko]

I swear to god, Zanmu has just been on my mind recently, she's taking over my fucking brain please send help

Artist's Note:

Why is it that everytime I do a drawing of Zanmu I always make the canvas size fucking huge and it ends up being a living nightmare to fucking export. I swear to god I had to go from 1200 DPI to 600 to 350.

Exporting hell aside, I loved working on this piece. With Zanmu's design, I wanted to combine all the design details that I love and have seen in other people's drawings of Zanmu and give them my own personal touches. First of all, her sleeves were inspired by @amemenojaku's design for Zanmu, and I absolutley love that detail because not only does it make her feel more regal, it also can be a callback to Satori and old hell, and also gives me the idea that Satori's fashion sense was inspired by Zanmu because IRL a lot of historical fashion was inspired by what the nobles were wearing at the time, and since Satori was around since when Old Hell used to be Hell, she probably took some wardrobe inspo from her (or it could be my headcanon that Satori could've been Zanmu's royal advisor or she was in her court or something but that theory is kinda grasping at strings from other headcanons I have, but that's for a different post). Also, the eye makeup she has was inspired by @jothelion's drawings of Zanmu, and like, I fucking love that detail because it just adds so much like omg I just love it sm.

And now for the design details I put in. I gave Zanmu tassel earrings because I think they'd look great on her. I also really like to exaggerate her hair and really try to make it look wild, as well as having little grey hairs here and there. I also try to add some wrinkles to the corners of her eyes, but TBH I don't know how visible that detail is, since the image is pretty fucking big. I also really exaggerated the tassles/strings on her outfit, since I really wanted to play around with the potential flow they could have. Also, big fan of giving Zanmu longer sleeves and pants. IDK why but I just like how it flows better. Also big fan of making her taller, idk why a lot of fanart makes her short. Also, I placed her horns closer to the front of her head as I just think placing horns in that position looks cool.

Also, if you're wondering about the halo, I took some inspiration from a few of Caravaggio's paintings where he often depicts saints with this very thin halo around the top of their heads. I just liked that detail a lot so I thought I'd include it.

Fun fact, I was originally gonna make the four skeletons Chiyari, Biten, Enoko, and Hisami but I didn't like the prospect of having to draw four more characters, so I chose to replace them with skeletons (if you wanna get silly with it, Zanmu got Hisami to kidnap Aya, set up some skeletons with bones from her bone collection and told her to take a picture of her).

I kinda gave up on Zanmu's feet and the one skeleton's hands (as if drawing hands normally is hard enough but NOPE, HAD TO MAKE IT LIVING HELL FOR MYSELF BY MAKING IT A SKELETON) and the quality of the image may suffer because of how much I had to fucking compress it (Zanmu's presence alone was enough to make the computer lose all of it's desire and motivation to export the drawing of her lmao), but I have been hacking at this piece for a while now, plus I need to learn when to call it quits when it comes to drawings). Also as I was fixing up the hands there was one spot where I forgot to clean up with the sketch and I can't fucking unsee that now and it's going to fucking bother me until I fix it but fixing it requires going back and putting my computer through hell so yeah.

So yeah, that's about all I have to say with this drawing, it was fun but also a nightmare lol

[heyidkyay]

Who can say no to bridezilla? |

Part one

I had to write another after seeing the love the last one got, thank you btw! I've actually missed writing a fair bit so I'm glad you enjoyed it.

> With this one, I started and just couldn't stop, so I might make it into a couple of parts? Maybe? Idk, let me know if that's something anyone would want:)

Summary: With no date to your sister's wedding, what are you to do? No worries though, she's already got it covered, well, sort of...

Masterlist

--

"It's just annoying. I mean- don't get me wrong, I'm proper chuffed you're finally tying the knot and all, but it's just a shitty situation.” I huffed defeatedly as I leant up against the cabinet, watching as a grey sky crept by my kitchen window. 

“I know,” I heard my sister sigh, her voice soft even through the phone’s tinny speaker. “And I’m sorry, but you know what mum’s like, y/n/n. She’ll be devastated when she finds out you’re coming alone! That, and the fact that if you don’t end up bringing a plus one, all of my wedding photos will turn out uneven… And I really, really need this day to be perfect! I want you to think its perfect! To enjoy it! Not just be sat there on the sidelines, watching.”

I closed my eyes for a long moment as I ran a hand through my hair. It was in dire need of a good wash, but between my job and the stress of having recently moved, I hadn’t found the time to even sit down. Still, I could understand where my sister was coming from, and I really wanted her to have the picture perfect day she’d always dreamt of too. But, we both knew that she was laying it on thick now, and with me being the eldest, we both also knew I’d do just about anything to make her happy. This though, was a big ask.

“Listen, yes things ended badly between Alex and I, but now that it’s all finally over, I just don’t think I have it in me to try and force myself to find someone else to replace him. Not yet, anyway.”

Alex, being my most recent ex. We’d parted ways about three months ago now- though ‘parted’ definitely wasn’t the term I preferred to use. But how else was I supposed to describe him cheating and me having to walk in on it happening? With my best mate of all people, too. 

Yeah, that hadn’t been the easiest of transitions, especially since I’d also been flat-sharing with the pair of them.

But my sister knew all of this already.

“Mum will just have to worry about me being lonely a little longer, y/s/n, and I'll just have to prepare myself to deal with her constant fussing over me for the entire evening.” I attempted to cajole, not wanting to outright deny her. “As well as the rest of my life, I suppose.” I added unhelpfully under my breath.

It wasn’t that I didn’t love my mum, God, she was just about the only person who truly understood me. That, and she’d done absolutely everything within her power to make sure that her kids had gotten everything she'd never had. She was an utter saint. But saying that, she could also tend to be a tad bit… overbearing. 

“Ah come on, she won’t be that bad!” My sister fired back before she then paused, as though she’d only just understood the words she’d spoken. I couldn’t not let out an airy chuckle when she sighed, “Alright, fair enough, she will be. But! If you just ask someone along, you won’t have to spend my entire wedding day avoiding her!”

I groaned, rubbing at my face.

“It’s been months since I ended things with Al- mum knows that, babe. I’ve had her on the phone almost every day since, hassling and FaceTiming me constantly to make sure I’m still alive. She even sends down little care packages in the post! Care. Packages. Y/s/n.”

I actually looked over towards the most recent arrival which had awoken me early the previous morning. It was still where I’d left it, chucked beside the foot of the sofa, barely opened. 

Again, I adored the woman, but she tended to be a fair bit dramatic. I could really see where my sister got it all from.

“Besides, how am I supposed to convince her I'm perfectly fine with someone I've only just met hanging off my arm?” I added, puttering on over to the sink to fill the kettle. I think I could feel another migraine coming on.

“I get it, y/n, I do. And I’m also sorry for suggesting it, but if I knew of an easier solution that would magically solve all our problems, then I would. But I don’t, and even though I want the biggest day of my life to go perfectly, I also want you happy.”

I could hear the sincerity in her voice and as I picked up my mug and tossed a teabag inside, I could also picture her sat at the dinning table back home, foot anxiously tapping away in an attempt to conjure up a better idea. She was a nitpicker, right down to the very bone, and I could only guess the amount of stress she was putting herself under in order to make sure that her wedding went off without a hitch for all those involved. 

After a few moments of shared silence, she spoke again, “To be honest, I can’t believe you stuck around as long as you did.”

My mind wandered back to all the time I’d wasted on Alex. We’d met growing up, he’d been our next door neighbour. We went through all of primary school despising one another, only to end up in the same friendship group come secondary. It didn’t take much more than that for us to suddenly become joined at the hip. He’d been my best mate, and when we finally got together, I’d pictured the rest of our lives spent with one another. 

He’d honestly really fucked me over in the end. I hadn’t just lost my boyfriend that day, but both of my closest friends, as well as a few others who’d taken his side in the awkward aftermath that came when most relationships ended. But that being said, I felt more at peace now than I had in a long while. With every relationship came troubles, and by the end of ours, I guessed we had more than most. That wasn’t me making excuses for him though- nah, he was still a massive prick.

“Yeah, me either.” I admitted, a breathy chuckle slipping from my lips as I softly shook away the rest of my thoughts. 

“I am proud of you though, for moving on as well as you have. Always knew he was an arse.” Came my sister’s voice and I couldn’t help the laugh that escaped me.

I grinned, so very thankful for her.

“God, was he!” I agreed instantly, listening to her giggle as I laughed, “A right tit.”

“Oh!”

I blinked at the sudden exclamation heard from down the phone and furrowed my brow slightly as the last of my laughter tittered out, “You alright there?”

“Uh, yes! I’ve just had the most perfect idea!” My sister declared, not even giving me the chance to question her before she was off on a tangent. “Forget about having to chat anyone up, or having some godawful colleague of yours to pose as a fake date- I’ve already got the perfect person for you!”

I felt my mouth part slightly in confusion and was just about to speak up when she beat me to the punch, seemingly excited about whatever plan she’d formulated in her head.

“Right, okay, just listen. I know this guy, a friend of Adam’s, yeah? He’s been off of relationships for a little while now, not really looking for anything at the moment ‘cause he’s been away for a bit. Busy, and what not. But y/n, he’s a right charmer, proper looker, too! He also happens to owe Ad a big favour!”

I closed my eyes for a moment, frowning. “What are you getting at here, y/s/n?”

The huff that sounded then, all but echoed in my ear and I couldn’t not roll my eyes at her dramatics.

“He can be your date, y/n! I know he’d be well up for helping us out if I give him free-rein to do what he pleases, always up for a laugh, and he'll be able to keep mum off your back about finding someone new. Plus, I can guarantee you a good time because I just know that the two of you will instantly hit it off.”

“What?” I squawk, far beyond perplexed. “You can’t just ask some randomer to pretend to be my date to your wedding, y/s/n! Are you actually insane?”

“He’s not some randomer though! I know him through Adam, and Adam’s known him since school!” My sister pestered, and I could practically feel her excitement bubbling up from down the phone. “He’s well lovely, nothing like He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named— Plus! When we were first introduced, I’d had the thought of setting him up with you, but well, you know, you were still with What’s-his-face and you seemed happy enough.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, to be frank. And went to say as much, when she cut me off again.

“Come on, y/n/n! It’ll be so great! And besides, who would it hurt? You’re both single, not looking for any sort of commitment, and both without dates to my wedding. Mum’ll be over the moon about it, too, once I let her know! And this way, I won’t have to fork out God knows how much on another two plus ones.”

“I’m really not sure about- hang on, he’s already going?” I questioned, confusedly. 

“He’s Adam’s best mate, of course he’s coming!”

“I thought Ad’s best mate was George?”

Her eye roll was implied when she retorted. “You can have more than one best mate, y/n. Look, you worry too much. I’ll have Ad phone him now and ask, yeah? If he agrees, I’ll get him to message you.” I was still beyond fucking baffled and could hear the obvious delight which lined my sister’s tone. “That settles it, I’ll do it right now. So talk to you later, yeah? God, I'm so excited! Love you lots!”

Then she was gone.

I let the phone fall away from my ear and stared down at the blank screen with vacant eyes.

What the fuck.

“What the actual fuck?” I found myself asking my empty flat aloud. I rubbed at my forehead tiredly before I ultimately tossed the device onto the pile of cushions perched on the nearest armchair, leaving it there to hopefully die, or something. 

Didn’t quite turn out that way though. I ended up fishing it out about an hour later when I’d started running a bath, needing it for it’s musical capabilities.

It was then, after the tub had filled and I’d slipped into its mountain of bubbles, that a notification disturbed the perfect playlist I’d curated. 

I grumbled as I pulled myself up and out of the water.

It was a text from an unknown number, I frowned as I unlocked the device.

“Oh, for fucks sake!”

I hadn’t actually believed that she would do it. Ask someone to be her sister’s fake date to her own wedding! But I really, really, really should’ve known better. 

And so I tossed the phone back on the side, submerging my body in its entirety back under the soapy water in hopes that I might just drown. She was so dead.

—

Maybe I’d been a tad bit hasty in scheduling the perfectly timed event of my sister’s impending death. 

Listen, I could admit when I was being a total drama queen, but my sister had well and truly pushed her luck this time around, and so I’d been quick in my judgement of the situation. Perhaps a little too quick.

Several weeks had passed since that day and in the time leading up to my sister’s wedding, I had spent a good portion of it texting Matty back and forth. 

That was his name, by the way- the poor bloke my sister had roped into accompanying me on her big day. And if I was being honest, I was rather grateful for the fact that she’d chosen to stick her big nose in where it wasn’t wanted and set the whole thing up. Though, I might have been better inclined to admit so if she’d been a whole lot more normal and just introduced the two of us in a much more conventional way.

When Matty had texted me that first night- rather delighted by the fact that he’d been gifted the privilege of a front row ticket to the shit-show I was still calling my life- I’d been dreading the entire thing. 

He had taken the utter piss out of me in all truth, and had then proceeded to rinse the shit out of the entire situation for all it was worth. But, strangely enough, he’d done so in the very best way. 

I can honestly admit that I don’t think I’ve ever laughed as hard as I have than when I’m messaging Matty. He was everything my sister had described and more.

He knew how to have a good laugh, when to flirt or to tease, and he was pretty open about the things that mattered most to him once you’d bartered your way past that overzealous ego of his. He also appeared to love music almost as much as me, which was honestly saying something. And he spoke highly of his family and friends, in length too when they had come up here and there in conversation.

I really hadn’t expected to have grown so close to him in the time we’d spent texting back and forth, but there was just something about him, in his nature maybe, that just made things feel so easy.

It was so, so strange, because I hadn’t even seen a picture of the bloke, and I’d only ever heard a few short snippets of his voice through the odd voicenote we'd shared here and there, but I’d openly call him a close friend to any one who now asked. It was as though we’d known each other for years. 

And I really wasn’t one to let many people in, I liked the small family I had created for myself, one full of friends I’d known for eons, and relatives that meant the world to me. So to have Matty slip by all of my defences so effortlessly, was something I thought a lot about.

“Oi,” Jamie suddenly prompted with a bright grin, a jabbing finger to my side untangled me from my thoughts. "You ready for the big day?

I’d been stood a little way a way from the chapel’s entrance, waiting for everyone else to arrive, and was seemingly a little lost in my own head. Apprehensive, maybe. Jamie had startled me slightly as I’d not even heard his approach, but I allowed myself to relax somewhat as I gave him the once over.

“Just about.” I replied with a teasing smile, “Clean up nice, Jim. Loving the suit.”

Jamie was my cousin, but we were so close in age I practically saw him as another brother. We’d grown up together, which also meant that he’d been close with Alex too.

Though, he’d actually been one of the few people who had taken my side after everything that happened, even with the two boys having been rather close since they were kids. I was glad to still have him, so glad, even if it did mean that I still felt a little guilty about the whole thing from time to time.

“Don’t look too surprised.” Jamie laughed at my light jab as he pulled me in for a short hug. “Though, you are looking good too, I suppose.”

I swatted at his shoulder when we parted. “Don’t be a twat, you know I’m the best dressed here.”

“Oh yeah…” He dragged out sarcastically, a small smirk playing on his lips. “Definitely ready to upstage the bride.”

I just rolled my eyes as I laughed. “Where is bridezilla anyway?”

“Just saw her with your mum, actually. They were fussing about something or other, but I reckon they ended up sorting it out.” Jamie replied with a small shrug as he pulled on his lapels.

I let my eyes roam around the surrounding area again for a brief moment as he did, skirting over the mass of maple trees, which were now in full bloom, and the familiar faces that crowded the gravel drive. 

“Exactly why I can never see myself going through with any of this.” I commented offhandedly, too preoccupied with the anxiety of finally meeting my so called date.

My gaze found Jamie’s again when he wearily voiced, “What- even when you were with…?” His voice held a hint of genuine curiosity.

I shrugged, in truth, I’d never really given it much thought, my wedding day. Even after having been with Alex all that time. I could just never see it happening for myself.

“Not really.” I said, “How about you though? Can you picture yourself all kitted out and waiting at the end of that aisle?”

Jamie laughed, his eyes squinted. “Not too sure about that. I mean I like the sound of it, spending forever with someone and all, but I dunno who’d be brave enough to have me.”

I snorted as I clapped my cousin’s shoulder in condolence. “They’d have to be a tad bit mental, Jim. But they’d also be fucking lucky too. You’re a gooden.”

“Love you.” Jamie smiled as he enveloped me in another hug. He was a lot taller than me now so he all but squished me into his side, but I couldn’t bring myself to mind even as I jokingly shoved him away.

“Stop, you’ll ruin my hair and makeup.” I scolded lightly, wrinkling my nose.

Jamie just chuckled, “Since when have you cared about any of that crap?”

“Never.” I grinned back at him in retort, “Just didn’t want you sliming all over me, snail-face.”

“You’re a right fucking weirdo, you know that?”

“I do, Jim, I do.”

I fixed the side of my dress whilst my cousin just rolled his eyes, seemingly content with waiting beside me now.

When I’d made sure that I was still somewhat presentable, mostly for both my mother and sister’s sake, I allowed myself to reevaluate the rest of the oncoming arrivers. Still no sign of that date of mine.

I sighed quietly, checking the time on my phone again to make sure I hadn’t missed a text.

“You all good there?” Jamie questioned quietly after a few minutes, I looked up to find him staring down at me with a concerned frown. 

I hummed, “Fine, why?”

“Just seem a bit nervous, not like you that.”

I huffed a light laugh before shooting my cousin a somewhat strained smile. “Yeah, maybe a bit. It’s just I’m waiting for my date to arrive and-”

As I uttered that sentence Jamie’s eyes all but boggled out of his head, “You never said nowt about a date!”

I gave him a sheepish grin, I hadn’t really mentioned Matty to anyone. Only having allowed my sister to pass on the message that I wasn’t turning up completely alone to my mum. I’d not given much thought to anyone else’s reaction.

“Um, yeah.” I replied, feeling a little uncomfortable upon having to mentally decide whether I should let Jamie in on the truth or not. The kid had always been a massive blabbermouth though, he just couldn’t seem to help it, but I knew he’d understand wholeheartedly. “It's new, but it’s going good…”

Jamie’s smile was wide enough that I could practically see either side of his molars, a megawatt sort of thing.

Immediately I felt my stomach churn. There was that guilt again.

“I’m well chuffed for you, y/n/n! Can’t wait to meet the lucky fella- when’s he set to get here? Didn’t you come together? Where’d you even meet him, anyhow? Does y/s/n know you’re bringing him along?”

Fucking hell, what was with the twenty-one questions?

I swallowed thickly. I hadn’t realise how hard this was all going to be. Was the rest of the day going to be like this? All consuming guilt?

“Er, should be here soon enough, I think.” I found myself saying, playing with one of the rings on my left hand. “Something came up last minute- his mum needed him. Urgent, you know how it is… and he’s a right mummy’s boy that one! So I suggested he just meet me here, and well, he was grateful. Felt really bad though. Promised he wouldn’t be late and all that.”

Jamie seemed to be eating it up and just kept nodding along, making me feel as though I had to continue on.

“We actually met through y/s/n, weirdly enough. She introduced us when I’d popped round to surprise her a while back. He’s close with Adam, best mates and that. We just hit it off I guess.”

I silently cursed myself and my ability to not know when to stop. fucking. rambling. But I was too nervous to think up a believable enough lie and so I’d decided to just tangent off from the truth. It was close enough, I figured.

“Awh, I’m so happy for you, cuz. Congrats!” Jamie said, obviously thrilled for me, as he wrapped an arm around my shoulder and squeezed. “Know why you’re so wound up now, your mum will be on your case all night!”

We shared a laugh. Because wasn’t that the fucking truth.

I tried my hardest to hide my slight grimace though as I allowed my cousin to congratulate me. During a few shared conversations with Matty, we had thought up a convincing enough plan, but now that it was time to put it all into action I wasn’t sure we’d actually be able to pull it off. Especially with the reminder that we’d be lying to my mum of all people.

“Oh shit, there’s Laura! Best head on over.” Jamie suddenly announced, his eyes focused on a brunette in the distance, far enough that I had to squint to even make out who he was referring to. 

But before I could comment or question Jamie’s twenty/twenty vision, my cousin was already bouncing on the balls of his feet, all but ready to run off.

He turned to me before he did though, squeezing my shoulder slightly. “Make sure you come find me with this date of yours, yeah? Gotta make sure he meets the mark.” I smiled, a little touched. “But I truly am buzzing for you, y/n. After everything, you deserve someone good.”

My chest ached and as my cousin gave me one final grin I couldn’t help but feel a little like the grinch, my heart had to have shrunk to half its size at the very thought of having just lied to Jamie. 

I couldn’t linger too long on the regret I felt though as my phone buzzed in my hand. Immediately I peered down at it, chewing on my lower lip. 

As the screen lit up, I frowned. What the fuck had I gotten myself into?

Matty had just messaged, but before I could even think up a reply I heard a few of the other guests around me start to whisper. I glanced up and over to where I then heard a muffled squeal. I pulled a face as I watched one of my younger cousins, Arielle who’d just turned fifteen, jump behind Jordan, her older brother. 

I shook my head and pivoted slightly, eyes scanning over the rest of the guests who had yet to make their way into the chapel. A few of the women were openly staring down the gravel drive, gossiping amongst themselves, and I couldn’t not follow their gaze.

I was really confused, everyone’s attention seemed to be drawn towards the figure who was wandering closer. He was decent looking, I supposed, clad in a fitted tuxedo he'd paired with a black bowtie and an uncaring expression, but he was no James Dean. So I couldn’t quite get my head round why they were all so bothered.

As he grew nearer, I took in what I could. The dark narrowed eyes hidden beneath a pair of furrowed brows, the cropped cut of the hair he’d greased back, the handful of silver rings which cluttered his fingers. What caused me to pause though was the cigarette, which hung effortlessly from his bottom lip. Because, shit. 

Instantly my focus moved back down to where my phone screen was now dimming and I quickly tapped at the home screen to view the last message I’d been sent. 

Keep an eye out for the oncoming smoker, alright x

My heartbeat quickened, and my gaze flitted back and forth between the approaching figure and the text. Surely it couldn’t have been anyone else.

“Sweetheart?” A voice called out with a sure northern twang, erupting goosebumps up both of my arms. I glanced up.

Sure enough it was him, he’d been the only one to ever call me that.

My throat grew dry, “Fuck me.”

“Little early for that, I reckon. Heard about there being an open bar though, buy me a drink and we can talk again later, yeah?” The man ribbed, smirking as he plucked the fag from his lip. He drew closer and I was taken back a bit from how confident he appeared, almost identical to the way he seemed over the phone. But now in tenfold.

"God, sorry.” I laughed, covering my face with the back of my hand as I shook my head to try and cover my reddening cheeks. “Didn’t expect, well- this.” I added, only furthering my embarrassment by vaguely gesturing towards him.

Matty’s grin dimmed almost immediately then, and I frowned.

“Hang on, you are Matty, right? The same Matty I’ve been messaging for weeks. The guy who texts me at all hours of the night going on about how ripe a banana has to be before you can eat it… and who sends me little voice memos of theme tunes he’s rewritten so that they sound aesthetically more pleasing?”

The man looked confused for a moment, and his brown eyes surveyed me before he ultimately chuckled. I blinked at the sudden change in behaviour.

“Guess you could put it like that.” Matty laughed once more, this time a little more airily. And God, did I want to listen to it on repeat. I’d thought about it once or twice, what it would be like to hear him laugh, to listen to him talk. “Hope you weren’t half-expecting some model to come waltzing in here. I mean, I’m fit but I can only do so much, babe.”

It was said jokingly and though Matty was probably one of the most vainest people I’d had the pleasure of meeting, I also knew that there was some genuine apprehension in his eyes. Almost like he’d been both dreading and craving this moment as much as I had. 

“Fuck off! Model.” I scoffed, and laughed alongside him as I shook my head. But then I peered around at the few who were still staring and was now suddenly hyperaware of them all. I didn’t really think too much about it as I stepped in closer to shield him somewhat. “Christ, Matty. Feels like you’ve just walked off an album cover or something, with the way you’ve got everyone leering at you.”

And wow. I watched in slight disbelief as Matty scratched at the back his neck with a small, almost bashful smile. I took note of the small hoop he had cuffed around his lobe.

“Piss off.” The man chuckled, finding his feet again as he realised the proximity we now held. “Reckon they’re all looking at you though.” He commented, looking me over with a sly smile. “Hann painted a good picture, but you’ve exceeded all expectations, darling.” 

I couldn’t help but smirk, regaining my usual confidence. “Spent a lot of time thinking about me, have you Healy?”

Matty’s tongue darted out to wet his lower lip, his unlit cigarette dangling between his fingers in the small space that separated our bodies.

“You’d know all about that, babe. Your first words, if I do recall, were 'fuck me'. And though I’d be happy to comply with your reasonable request, I don’t think Adam, or your sister, would very much approve of me taking you in front of all these lovely people.”

I hummed mischievously, eyeing him. Yeah, this was my Matty alright.

“Can’t say I’ll come to regret those words.” Then, before Matty could even think up another retort, I wound my arm around his and started leading us in towards the chapel. “Best play the part, yeah?”

And I had to dampen my grin when I heard the man’s joyous laughter sound beside me. Ignoring all of the other onlookers to sneak a peak over at him, I found myself loving the squinted grin he made as he tucked his cigarette behind his ear.

This night would definitely be memorable.

Part two >

[drdemonprince]

Hi Devon,

this might not be a question you can answer, or maybe it is! idk. this is about covid & alike

for context on myself, i’m a white gendrfucky trans guy who’s also autistic & an immigrant (so some cultural context is probably lacking)

as we know, we’re in a 2nd highest surge & the pandemic never stopped and it increasingly dangerous and disabling to so many

i wear my kn95 everywhere i go now, and while i tried last semester, it was a lot easier to abandon masking because of

1. others’ around me negligence

2. some classrooms being IMPOSSIBLY hot and close to unbearable with a respirator on

3. attending crowded events where people needed to hear me

i’ve reevaluated and am rebuilding my practices now, but what i’m finding really difficult is to get people i have in my life to wear a mask again

i feel so lost. i share the informational posts, i talk to my people, i offer masks- what else is there to do?? i know the exhaustion i feel is absolutely incomparable to what disabled and immunocompromised people feel, especially when they’ve done the work for years!

i just don’t understand how i’m supposed to keep moving through life. i mean ofc i’ll keep doing what i’m already doing but it’s so incredibly isolating to be the only person masked in a meeting of 20,30,50 people.

i don’t know how to make people care. i don’t know how to have conversations with my friends in a way that will let our relationship evolve with this new understanding of care. i don’t know how to not polarize people into defensiveness when i talk about the powers wreaking atrocities in falasteen being the same ones shortening an isolation period to 1 day.

i don’t know how to be eloquent enough to be listened to and firm enough where people take what i say seriously. i don’t know how to not start screaming WEAR A MASK anytime it’s a crowded (or even not crowded) meeting indoors with no air filtration.

idk how people don’t realize the “cold” they’ve had for 3 weeks is either covid or direct aftermath of it. idk how they stand for seemingly the right things and then come to work sick & unmasked.

i don’t know how to engage with most people in a meaningful way & find connections because the delusion, the “it won’t happen to me”, the “i don’t care if i catch it and die”, the “this is just the way it is” seems to be a wall made of unbreakable cement and i don’t know what will melt it.

i feel insane for having compassion towards the world and seeing how it can be better. i feel insane for being angry people don’t mask & downplay this issue. i feel insane for even trying to talk sense into people.

i’ve recently been called a lying phony by an account that talks about masking bc a lot of my recent pictures show my face without a mask. i archived the posts since, apologized and reflected. but a lot of pictures i take are in my own room so i am unmasked. idk

i feel like the gap between me and most people i know is growing wider by the minute and with every reading i do about interdependent revolutionary practices, etc.

i know that when one understands something, it is their responsibility to make an impact on their bubble of the world and transform it with their knowledge. but i doubt i’m the only one doing the reading and knowing what’s going on, i just seem to be the only one masking.

i don’t know. i’m sorry it’s such a long ask & i’m sure you have your own stuff you’re dealing with. i just don’t know who else to ask that might understand. i’m sure there are people around me who might but so many are in survival mode and i currently don’t know anyone with the capacity to hold space for this.

i guess it’s bold to assume you do.

anyway, i hope your day goes alright today<3

You are placing wayyy too much responsibility upon yourself as one compassionate and informed individual here, and expecting far too much perfection of yourself in ways that do not help you and do not help the cause. You've done a lot to unpack the terrible individualism that has led to anti-mask sentiment being so rampant, but you are in a way still applying that logic to yourself and your situation by imagining that if you, one humble person with limited power were able to be adequately persuasive, you'd somehow change the actions of thousands. That is not how behavior change works.

Persuasion almost never happens logically or instantly, almost never through one person's remarks. Behavior is shaped by a vast array of economic, sociological, emotional, and ideological factors.

It's also not helpful in my opinion to worry about the opinion of someone who would shame you for not wearing a mask at home alone in your bedroom, either. Obsessing over the optics of our actions and wanting all people to morally approve of us at all times is yet another consequence of individualism and Puritanism. as you well know as someone who masks in a crowd of maskless people, sometimes we gotta do what we know is right and disregard others' opinions.

What you can do, in my opinion, is this: keep masking. Your behavior reminds people of the need for masks and models socially responsible behavior. Bring spare masks with you. Offer them to your family and friends and the people standing near you in public. If they refuse, and you have a good relationship with the person where they have shown they respect you and listen to you, then you can tell them why masking around you is important to you. You cannot change the opinion of someone who has never shown you any respect so don't expect that to ever work.

Even if you do have a good relationship with someone, persuasion is a long, hard process. Do not expect yourself to change their mind. If you can get some people to mask at least around you, that is a victory. Perfection is an unrealistic goal here to expect of yourself, and for public health in general. Any improvement you can inspire is a victory. Even if it's just making one or two friends mask more often when they are with you. That still lessens risk. That still sends a visible signal to everyone around you. You have no idea of the impact you truly have on other people in the long term. It is both more modest and far larger and longer-reaching than you as an individual will ever know.

Please be easy on yourself. You are just a person. An average person with very limited power. So is everyone else for the most part. When you stop burdening yourself with the unrealistic responsibility of changing thousands of people's behavior, you will feel less resentful toward others as well. When we resent other people it always means we are doing too much.

And when you feel less overwhelmed and overburdened, you will be more effective in the conversations you do have with people about COVID too. People do not respond well to (what they perceive to be) guilt or intensity or someone presuming to know better than them. What people do respond to well is to be asked genuine questions, listened to, validated in their feelings, given help where they are facing barriers to action, and being treated with compassionate gentleness.

But to do that you have to work on believing that people who are flawed in their response to COVID have reasons for doing so that make sense to them, and that they aren't all foolish and lacking in compassion. As my friend @kim-from-kansas says, people do not do things that do not make sense. If a person's actions do not make sense to you, it is because you are missing a piece of their context. The sad fact is people have many reasons to think that masking doesn't work or is hopeless. People have been very heavily propagandized and trauma also makes many people value life less.

Convincing people to take COVID more seriously is a tall, tall order, but if you wish to do so, you will need to be more than correct. You will have to put real work into not making people feel judged, and you will have to make peace with not always (or even usually) succeeding. It sucks but that's how it is. Best of luck!!

[mggssocks]

hi everyone!! sorry I dipped for a few days lol. I’m trying to work on people’s request but I don’t have much inspiration. anyways here’s a semi-sad one with Rowan Blanchard as face claim. I’m thinking you are a famous singer. You and drew dated for about 1.5 years. And then you eventually break up 3 months prior to this taking place. And then he’s randomly seen with Odessa a lot more often which sparks speculation on whether they are dating or not. Enjoy. (Also have nothing against Odessa. This is all fictional and for entertainment purposes)

This was inspired by opposite by Sabrina carpenter

obxfanupdates

215 likes

obxfanupdates (the photo above has nothing to do with this update lol) there’s been a lot of speculation on whether drew and y/n y/l/n has broken up or not. She deleted all of her posts that has anything to do with drew or obx and drew has been seen with Odessa on multiple occasions this past week.

view all 18 comments

y/nfan32 noooooo

drewfan28 idk she may be trying to fix her insta aesthetic and him and Odessa may just be friends.

↳ obxfanupdates y/n and drew hasn’t been seen together in like 3 months.

obxfan166 but he still has some posts of y/n sooo

↳ obxfanupdates again, this is all just speculation.

Odessa’s Story

obxfanupdates

314 likes

obxfanupdates drew and Odessa recently. picture taken by a friend of hers (now deleted)

view all 57 comments

drewfan11 if y/n and drew are really broken up I will cry

↳ y/nfan19 no me too

obxfan117 if you’re right and they broke up around 3 months ago, that means he moved on pretty fast…

↳ drewfan625 that’s what I was thinking.

y/nfan038 did you see Odessa’s story?

↳ obxfanupdates yes I was just about to post.

*******

yourinstagram

liked by arianagrande, zendaya and 1,974,589 others

yourinstagram thank u to everyone. love u all. new song out at 12 am est. 3 GRAMMYS BABY.

view all 68,827 comments

arianagrande proud of u 🫶🏼

↳ yourinstagram thank u babes, love u

alexademie no way you just slid that 3rd sentence in there

↳ yourinstagram 🫣

y/nfan282 the way she gives no fcks abt drew and Odessa?!!?! queen

↳ y/n336 why would she?? It’s her night

y/n110 NEW SONG?!!?

****

yourinstagram

liked by sza, madelyncline and 2,718,618 others

yourinstagram opposite out now.

view all 72,628 comments

y/nfan61 I thought this was gonna be a hype song what

y/nfan287 didn’t bank on crying myself to sleep tn but okay

↳ yourinstagram sorry babes

y/nfan32 okay this is definitely abt drew.

madelyncline missing you

↳ yourinstagram miss u more. come n visit any time.

****

obxfanupdates

15 likes

obxfanupdates Drew and Odessa at the airport recently. photo taken by a fan.

view all 32 comments

drewfan778 so it’s official?

↳ obxfan526 I feel like y/n’s song is confirmation enough

obxfan62 him and y/n were endgame 🥲

y/nfan17 I feel like opposite was definitely written abt them

drewfan218 the rose… :(

*****

yourinstagram

liked by lizzobeeating, drewstarkey and 1,864,075 others

yourinstagram thank u all for the love on ‘opposite’. I appreciate you all. more music to come.

view all 97,627 comments

y/nfan92 DREW LIKED

hunterschafer you’re incredible

↳ yourinstagram thank u I love u

carlaciagrant love you!!!

↳ yourinstagram love u more. text me

drewfan839 them still being friends even though things are over between them </3

[bluegekk0]

If anything I think you should speak more, because I love everything you write (and draw.) You've been one of my biggest inspirations to go back and give all of my ocs actual stories instead of just designs.

In fact, ever since you mentioned having non-fpk family ocs before, I have been incredibly curious.

Please feed me all of the information like a bird feeding its young, except its letters going into my eyes instead of food going into my mouth

you have no idea how much that warms my heart, i'm really flattered that you see me as an inspiration. it's all i could really ask for

i do have some ocs, yeah. though i will say, the fpk au characters are definitely outliers when it comes to the amount of personality and lore they have. most of my ocs have very basic backstories, and many of them only do because i used to roleplay as them with my friends. a lot of my original designs that i'm attached to don't even have names, let alone personalities

since i'll be posting a lot of pictures, i'll throw this under a read more so it's not too long

i guess i'll start with my oldest oc, a lion king character who used to be my "fursona" (well not exactly, since i've never considered myself a furry. but persona wouldn't fit here) years ago, back in 2012 i believe. she went through a lot of changes over the years, but i've settled on a design that i really like

her name is swahibu (used to be swahili, i wasn't particularly creative, and i changed it recently since it was a bit awkward for her to be named after the entire language hahaha), and she has a little brother named kobe. their lore isn't anything too elaborate, they're essentially scar's grandchildren who used to be outlanders, but after the events of the second movie joined the pridelands. swahibu is bitter and a bit mean, but cares very much about her little brother. she got her scars in a fight with rogue lions which unfortunately ended with their mother's death, so they're now on their own. kobe is a smart cub, and brings a bit of joy and innocence to his big sister's life. as they both resemble their grandfather more than they'd like, they're often the object of nasty comments from those who lived under his tyrannical rule, though they do eventually earn the pridelanders' respect. not much else to say about them, except that i like to hc swahibu as gay. also, they have a very simple family tree that i made to show what their parents looked like, here (might not work if you don't have a deviantart account, but i'm not sure)

--

next up, there's a character i've considered my persona for quite some time, and one i used to put in many funny scenarios with my friends' ocs. he also changed the most out of all of them throughout the years, and recently i gave him a more furry like design as i hate drawing human faces haha

his name is rick, and he's a hybrid of all kinds of different animals. he's very laid back and lazy, though the fact that he's a hybrid gives him some animal-like traits and behaviors. he used to have a backstory but it's kind of stupid so i'm considering changing it, but he was basically created in a lab and then released after it was shut down. now he lives on his own with his cat, jon. he's one of those characters who are very flexible, so if i wanted to, i could modify him to fit into any scenario (for example, he used to have an assassins creed universe version which i used for roleplay years ago hahaha). not much else to say since i'm still in the (slow) process of changing him

--

i also have a lot of dragon characters, most of them were made for the purpose of a larger roleplay story with my friends. in general i take 'dragon' as a very vague term, since to me a dragon can look however you want and all those classification rules are kinda stupid. but you'll still a bit of, idk, i guess a paleoart like direction for their designs, since i like speculative biology and such. also, some of these originated as heavily based on some of my favorite characters at the time, you'll see that with the first one especially

his name is stark and he's probably the dragon that has the most lore behind him. i won't go into too many details regarding the backstory since it's long and very connected to the roleplay (you know, bit of a "you just had to be there" moment haha). but tl;dr he was taken in by a village and raised from hatchling, so he's very docile and a little bit confused. the village was attacked and he was able to survive, but one of his legs was scarred pretty badly, so he noticeably limps while walking. he's a semi-aquatic dragon, so he's an excellent swimmer. funnily enough, he went through a complete "reboot" a few years ago. in the original rp, he was a massive asshole, he'd hurt others for his own amusement and was generally very aggressive and not pleasant to be around. also, he had a prosthetic leg, though i scrapped that as it was far too advanced for the setting i envisioned him in. i much prefer this direction, i love my giant himbo gator-dragon. and i wonder how many of you can guess what character was the inspiration for his appearance (it used to be a lot more obvious in his first design iterations)

(and no, his wing isn't missing. this is just to show his back haha)

these next three don't really have too much backstory to them. well, except for the first one, his name is ithaar, and he was one of my first ocs ever. he went through a massive redesign quite recently, so he has close to nothing in common with his first iterations. the other two characters, eurus and ash, were made for rp purposes quite recently, and so don't have too much lore behind them

ith is a bit of a coward, he struggles with his self-confidence and believes everyone sees him as insignificant due to his small size and inability to fly. he can camouflage, though, so he's a lot cooler than he thinks. also, he moves by hopping around like a little kangaroo. his design is very dromaeosaur-like, with short stubby arms and yi-qi inspired wings

eurus is very pterosaur-like, though much larger than even the largest azhdarchids. he doesn't like the company of others, he's a bit of a loner (with trauma!). he may seem mean on the surface, but his past experiences make him unable to walk past someone who's in need. not quite a gentle giant, though. i think it's easy to see which pterosaurs in particular were the inspiration for his design, though his crests are very dilophosaurus-like

the last one is ash, and she's the newest addition to the roster. her rp session was very short and didn't really add much to her lore, but she's generally a huge jerk who likes annoying others and stealing from them. but of course, it wouldn't be an oc of mine if there wasn't some trauma involved, and she's no exception. she believes she doesn't fit anywhere, she felt rejected by her own kind for her unnatural abilities (she can move things with her mind), and so she copes with it by being a prick. her design was inspired by junker queen from overwatch haha

---

i also have four night fury characters i made during my httyd phase, and i redesigned them about a year ago to be a lot more "natural" in their appearance. they used to be quite a bit more colorful back in the day, and not in the good way haha

their names are vel'ri, sherok, atis and marivo. no real backstory, just vibes. the first one used to be my "main" character during the httyd phase. vel'ri and atis are female, sherok and marivo are male

--

and lastly, some non-dragon characters. these don't really have any backstory that i think is worth sharing, but i still love them very much

this one is named rugat and they're a genderless, shapeshifting magma alien thing. i don't know what they are. i just really like their design. they're aggressive, but they have a soft spot for small, weak creatures. god knows what their reasoning is, but i thought it was a cute personality trait

and these two are named lox and bagel. they're a ragarox, an original species i made years ago when it was cool and hip to have a closed species. they're eyeless cave dwelling lizard things. very chubby. these two guys are not related but they hang out all the time. 🏳️‍🌈 perhaps?

lox, on the left, is the more active and territorial of the two. but he's also super affectionate towards bagel

bagel, on the other hand, is the couch potato. very round and chubby, 10/10

as a fun fact i like to think their long tongues have very distinct smells. lox's smells like lime, while bagel's smells a bit like blueberry

--

and lastly, here are two unnamed characters. i like their designs but i haven't had the chance or inspiration to think of any details about them

the first one is an okapi-like thing. with a kitty face. the second is like a weird mix between a ceratopsid and some kind of mammal

oh and, here's some redesigns of old dragon characters that i forgot to mention earlier. they used to be very different (all but one were inspired by other characters, but you can't see it on their current designs), and i don't have any backstories for them yet. their names are also going to be changed, so consider them nameless for now

(fun fact: the top left one was one of the first iterations of eurus' design, but i decided to turn it into a different character cause i still like it)

[noctivague]

Revamping my altar - Part 01🙃

Let's ingnore the fact that I ghosted my blog for the most part of this year and jump right in as if nothing happened....

Starting point

I'm a very aesthetically driven person and I'm bored with my current altar, which has been remained the same for a long time. (I thought I had a picture but I don't and it's gone now so oops...)

I want to create something that puts me in an inspired mood just by looking at it. That looks inviting and beautiful and brings me delight and motivation. A little sanctuary nook kinda.

I want to revitalize things and symbolize the new era i'm in, due to the fact that i recently moved into a new flat, got a new job, and overall my life is very different than it was last year.

So here is the journey of making my new altar :) At the moment it's far from done but here is the first part of the process!

Part 02 will follow once I've received the things I ordered, probably at the end of November or early December.

Inspirations

So i went on a quest to find inspirations on pinterest that would sort of align with what i wanted to make.

ngl I dislike most of what I see because I find them too cluttered for my personal taste. The main issue is that i'm clumsy and i hate the idea of my hand having to slither through a forest of objects to be able to grab what i want lol

Still managed to find a few cool examples, here they are:

I love the rough, folk-esque, natural aspects of them, the blend of stone, marble and wood. The branches, the sculptures, the iconic symbols and the fact that there is a variety of heights of things, if that makes sense. I also like having a strong art piece in the middle, which i prefer over having a mirror like many examples i found. Idk i just find the idea of having to stare at myself at my altar a bit uncomfortable lol

But it's still different from what would be authentic for me and also i gotta do with what i have or what i can buy.

The thing is that my altar is not dedicated to a single deity so i can't go with one strong themed vibe but i have to put them all together. Currently, Apollo, Artemis, Hekate, Dionysos, Hermes and Demeter share the same space.

Furniture

Thankfully the new book shelf I got is quite wide and has three levels, which is plenty enough space to give everyone their own space and even host my incense, tarot cards and spiritual books.

I almost sold a kidney to get an antique cabinet, which looked really cool but was not going to fit in with the interior style of my living room, where my altar is located.

So I went in with a more modern yet slightly organic-shaped one:

Not 100% what I was looking for but at least the space is there. Love the curves an the contrast of the two colors, but I wish the wood was darker. I could sand and re-varnish but who's got time for that.

Current state of the sculptures

I've been collecting sculptures and hand painting them for a while now (you can check out my pinned post for pictures of some of them), and although I love what I made, I really want to get some new ones that are higher and I'm even wondering if I should just keep them white and gold instead of colorful.

Also, for the life of me, I can't find a sculpture of Hekate that I like. They either look too bland or too new-agey for my taste. At the moment, I have the classic three women holding torches and stuff that I hand painted in blue, yellow and silver, but idk it's not what I have in mind and I think I'm just going to resort to do clay modelling myself. I'll probably do a separate post for the process!

Btw I'll do a free giveaway in the future to re-home my old sculptures so stay tuned for that!

What I have in mind

Sooo I'm not sure of the exact height and width of the things that I have coming in, and I'm still looking for a strong art piece or relief to go at the center back so I'm not sure if my disgusting mouse-drawn photoshop sketch is going to be accurate at all lol

The more I stare at it the more I think it makes no sense 🙃

So basically, from left to right; Apollo (new statue incoming); Artemis (old statue at the moment but need to upgrade); Hekate in the center (need to craft that); Dionysos (new bust incoming); Hermes (new bust incoming); and on the lower lever Demeter (still love the statue as I think it's my best one so it will stay this way).

Still missing:

one or two candles i use during worship, preferably gold

art piece in the center, either a plaster relief or canva print of something

plant with long falling ''arms'' (idk the word in english)

dried branches to go in the left vase

a way to fix the antlers to the wall

an old key for hekate (need to go to a thrift store)

maybeee a bigger box to store my incense and ritualistic plates and glasses

I don't think I want a table cloth simply because I had one in the past and it was always a mess to clean. Having the bare table is much easier, especially considering that I will burn incense and candles and that gets messy.

---------------------------------

Okay that's it for this long ass post, see ya in a few weeks for part 02!!!

[breakbeatbun]

i did a lot of "boy things" as a kid and I've always felt less "girl" because of it, i never played with stuff that was considered feminine, partly because i was afraid of judgment, but also i found "boy stuff" more appealing. it's tough not relating to one's peers in a binary way. i would love to play cars

tags on this post for context

i was raised by a mechanic and carpenter so a lot of my early free time was spent in a barn full of tools, machines, welding masks, piles of cut-up BMX bikes we'd find in the garbage, stripped-bare sandrails and their engines, couple rifles or compound bows here or there, probably listening to whatever crusty old rock music my dad put on. hell, i was rowing through the gears of my mom's old square body S10 while she drove us to the store before i was barely tall enough to see over the dash. "hanging out with friends" was playing Guitar Hero or Racing & Skateboarding Video Games, or riding our bikes and skinning our knees. "hanging out with dad" was often target shooting in the backyard or building something; I rarely ever held the flashlight, i had the tools in my hands and grease under my fingernails.

that's a lot of exposition but i'm trying to paint the most specific picture i can! TL;DR, a lot of arguably "boy things" in my upbringing, and i fit right into it, lot of fondness in my heart for it still!

around the time i had my big Gender Awakening at the tail-end of high school i had already been Online for a bit - hell i learned what it meant to feel non-binary from this very website circa 2013 - but it wouldn't be until maybe 2019 or so when i moved out that i really started making other queer and trans friends, and it was pretty immediately obvious that i was extremely different from the rest of my community, both online and offline. of course, nobody was rude about it, everybody was VERY respectful of my name and my pronouns and my identity, but it was still really easy for me to feel "othered" because our shared experiences didn't line up at all; At most maybe i got made fun of for having long hair. it made it really easy to feel like i wasn't doing enough work to justify my queerness.

at the other end of that spectrum, i recently tried on she/her pronouns at the front of my bio, just to see if i was missing something, and i was quickly met with an IMMEDIATE outpour of support from friends and community alike. SO many people were loud about being So Proud of me, Knew i Had It In Me, i had multiple friends message me privately to offer information and easy routes to HRT "just in case ;)" i was thinking about it! and, yeah, it's nice to have that kinda support, i'll admit! but it was hard not to feel a little invalidated in not wanting to change. it really felt like a lot of people, close friends even, just kinda saw me as a trans woman waiting to have a bigger realization, as though being non-binary was just a meaningless stepping-stone to something greater. and i mean, i can't blame them, they just wanted to help!!

today i'm pretty firmly Queer/non-binary (with a little bit of Girl on the side when it's either Appropriate or Funny), and my body and voice are very much unaltered from the ones i was born with. virtually indistinguishable from a cishet version of myself, just with the he/him lopped off and they/she sloppily appended in its place; simply because i don't have the energy or don't care to put much effort into change, and that's very much fine for me. I know damn well i don't owe it to anybody but myself anyway, granted none of it tends to matter much when you present as a rabbit girl on the internet LOL. I'm thankful to have built myself a little space where i can engage with others like me, or where other queers feel welcome to express interest in the things that I'M all about! even if it's a little few and far between. still struggle with feeling like i fit in with The Girls tho LMAO.

IDK! this post is my half-baked love letter to my fellow AMAB NB folks who get treated like Cis Men, Trans Women who don't "put the effort in," or Anyone who can Otherwise Relate in the same, or even an opposite sort of way. we are playing cars together

[nondienary]

i saw this post sharing designs of the infinights in GL2 and it inspired me to share my own! enjoy (i guess)

and obligatory spoilery rambling warning because character design makes me so happy

starting off strong with kyborg!

details i enjoy- his blue hairties and gold ear cuff are inspired by the ones he has in the picture on the home page of the stinky dragon wiki. im especially happy with the ear cuff because it turned out way better than i expected.

i also really like the arm (and yes i know he doesnt have the diagem in it anymore but it needed some pizazz! said pizazz made me temporarily hate myself because it used up his 4th face accessory slot but i don't even remember what other face accessory i wanted for him anymore :P)

also his boots. idk why but i like them

his hair!! i went through a bunch of styles and chose this one and i'm glad i did because this is a pretty accurate representation of how i imagine his hair, including the color! his mom was a redhead so ya boi is a strawberry blond (ish)

details i do NOT enjoy- the fact that gl2 doesnt have a hip quiver :( because i had to add the quiver to his back but that took up his second cape slot so he couldnt have his cloak of many fashions. and also even if i could give it to him w the back quiver i would still want a hip quiver because i imagine him with a hip quiver! because you can't do somersaults barrel rolls with a quiver on your back!

anyway

i probably should have made these separate posts but oh well you signed up for rambling and rambling is what you get!

next up: mudd!

loml

details i enjoy: his cloak, i spent ages on it because i was overthinking what to do with his cloak of billowing vs his cloak of the secret garden (?) but i'm very happy with what i settled on

the detail in the undercut drove me crazy because again, characters are limited to 4 cace accessory and i was using one for the runes in the undercut. which i obviously changed but that brought me so much pain and misery /lh

im so happy with how his face, especially his eyes turned out because again, i struggled with them for some time. but now his face is SO perfect. except the lack of sideburns.. maybe something with the side hairs? i keep forgetting that's an option in this game

the little daisy earring. spur of the moment addition, so glad i did it.

details i do NOT enjoy: his outfit :( for all the others i knew what i was going for but with mudd i had no clue other than the cloak. it's based off his puppet outfit because i legitimately couldn't think of what he'd wear. i like the shoes and choice of belt but between this and the sideburns mudd is definitely next in line for a redesign

ok someone who was just redesigned is gum gum!

details i enjoy: his face. that is such a gum gum face. wish i couldve added bigger tusks though. and the lil smudge of dirt on his cheek!!!

silly almost easter egg i added is that each of the colors of the rainbow is in his design at least once because dia's whole thing is rainbows and light and stuff. at first i just had it in the accessories and his whole outfit was blue pretty much but i looked at bart after completing all the accessories and i was like GODDAMMIT he has all the colors. and it's actually incorporated into the outfit AND it looks really good.

the fact that vee and i both designed his hat nearly exactly the same completely independently of each other is so epic.

i originally came up with the shoulder flower while working on mudd but i was like "oh wait gum gum's the flowers guy mudd's the animals guy." and gave it to him instead. and i'm very glad i did it fills in that space in the cloak very well.

speaking of the cloak, i very much enjoy it

things i do NOT enjoy:

honest, nothing comes to mind! maybe it's because he was the most recent to get revamped but its so wonderfully gum gum.

and last, and maybe least in stature but not in much else, bart!

things i enjoy about this design: the little thigh dagger. bart is totally the kind of man to strap a dagger to his thigh instead of just attaching the sheath to the belt like a normal person

i made him VERY visibly part dragonborn because it's honestly hilarious. because gum gum has known bart since he was a baby, he knows bart's just Like that. kyborg hadn't interacted with another person in like 30 years before he met them and mudd had probably never seen a halfling in his life, and even if he had, he wasn't just gonna have his first conversation with the guy be "i don't believe you when you say what race you are." tbh mudd's probably applies to kyborg as well. and bart assumed its just because of the different subraces of halfling. he's a stout halfling, alleve is a lightfoot halfling, no wonder she doesn't look like him!

also the hem of the pants is so fun and piratey and i love it and it's perfect.

i also gave him a crystal resembling his diagem, i haven't decided what's going on with that yet. i didn't give mudd one because no way in hell am i trying to make a ring WITH a diagem in it. how about no :3

things i do NOT enjoy: gl2 doesn't have enough curly hair options, specifically for rear hair. so bart's hair in this is not as accurate in this to my mind's eye as the others. its alright it does look good regardless

and that's all ive got in terms of commentary, please enjoy me talking about my silly little hyperfixation guys. byebye!

[kokonutcat]

[Naruto rant/criticism]

Please don’t interact if you’re going to insult me for having an opinion that differs from your, I will correctly tag this post so if you’re a nh stan read at your own risk. I’m not responsible of your actions.

In the recent days I’ve really been having a naruhina hate brainrot. I’ve actually always disliked that pair since the first days I started watching this anime. But the more I think about this ship and the more I dislike it and see less reasons to enjoy it.

Yeah I used to ship ss in the past, because even if Sasuke never has been interested at least he was Sakura’s teammate and had plenty of missions together. (Well I learnt from my mistakes but that’s not the topic of this post!)

However, what do Naruto and Hinata have seriously? For being characters who got married and one of them being the mc their interactions were barely existent and Naruto having basic human decency toward her isn’t a proof of him having romantic feelings. I still literally can’t picture him being on a relationship with her either, no matter how much I try. I always used to find this ship painfully bland, boring, tasteless. I would rate it a solid 1/10 at best, and I’m on a good mood rn.

I got spoiled very early that they were going to be together at the end and even despite that when I watched the last episodes it blew my mind when I saw them going to be married all of sudden. It was so hard to believe. If they were so planned to be together since the beginning they could’ve at least given them some development idk it’s not even that complicated I don’t ask Kishimoto to write peak romance. Don’t even talk to me about "The Last" lol that movie is just laughable. It’s basically Naruto into a genjutsu and Sakura forcing him, guilt tripping him to love Hinata and telling him how much "he deserves her". No sorry but I can’t take this sh*t seriously.

Another thing, when I still was into the first episodes of the series I used to think that Hinata will have a development, she will be strong and all but I was apparently wrong as hell because she’s just as pointless, irrelevant but more annoying and her whole existence stills revolve around N-Naruto-kun 🥺👉👈. The shippuden era was the moment when she seriously started to get on my nerves. She reached a new low when Neji frustratingly f*cking died for her the the only thing she was thinking about was N-Naruto-kun’s big warm and manly hand. The audacity lmao. I would be so ashamed to myself at her place. Also there’s nothing wrong with her being a housewife, raising kids is far from being an easy task by the way but she could’ve at least done something for her clan as the "Hyuga princess", especially about the oppression and slavery that endured the secondary branch through generations and that caused the death of her cousin in front of her. But no, she got married to N-Naruto-kun, so it doesn’t matter, damn why am I even surprised, that was the only goal of her life anyway. That cute uwu girl’s """"development"""" disappointed me a lot, to say the least, I saw a lot of potential in her not gonna lie.

Poor her, she existed only for the sake of a ship that happened just for the dull sequel also more commonly known as "Boruto".

[itzgarrehandro]

My experience with Duncan Burden (Puppiez0)

(WARNING: What you're about to read contains sensitive subjects such as grooming, CP, and... IDK, "coomer" stuff IG?)

...I think it's time I come out and say this

I was a victim of grooming (and as you could probably tell that's not fun. At all)

You're probably wondering "who did this, and what did they do?"

You ask, I'll tell: The person in question goes by the username "Puppiez0", or his real name "Duncan Burden" (or "McNinja", whatever the hell you wanna call him), who has recently been caught in 4K for drawing NSFW out of a 15 year old (but I'm not gonna bore you to death with that info)

It all started back in 2015 when I was invited to a Skype group chat with him (don't remember alot), but we didn't really get close until I'd eventually join some online community known as the Powerhouse of Entertainment

But by 2017... That's when real shit dropped, he'd go on to start some shit called "POE After Dark" and, lo and behold, he went on to draw, let's see, uhhhh... Lucoa (from Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid) with her breasts out and added me "playing with myself" in the background

Which, at first, I kinda didn't mind nor think it'd be bad at first. But eventually when time went on, and he got cancelled... I was not ok with this. And you're wondering "how old was Duncan at the time he drew this?"

He was 17, and I was like 13-going-on-14 when he did this, so... I was a minor (and THAT'S technically grooming)

At first, I thought it wouldn't be THAT bad when he drew it, but as time went on and eventually he'd get cancelled, it just... eugh, disgusts me. To think how this shit just slipped through my fingers all those years, and nobody speaks up about this until now

Not to mention, he'd also ask for money from some of my friends (and some others) for pictures that they didn't even commission for... Just because he lost his job

...Really??? Are you THAT lazy to do a job search on Indeed? Whatever job you get, I'm sure they'd pay much more hourly than everyone else, you could've been spending all that time looking for a job, working and getting paid and all that stuff, as long as your bills are paid and as long as food is in your fridge, but NOOOO, you spend it BEGGING

...I think that's all I have to say, in the meantime, I recommend reading this for further context:

I know this post was rather... long, or however to put it, but I needed to be more open and let this all out of my system. Apologies if this came off as rather half assed, tried to explain this out of memory or sumn like that. Thanks for reading this

[spongebob-connoisseur]

It’s amazing how much Nosferatu became an integral part of SpongeBob lore. Especially since he was just a gag character for the ending of the night shift episode. He even appeared as a character in the CGI Camp series as a younger version of himself. Why the recent interest?

I've grown to LOVE Nosferatu! Outside of the fact that he's a blorbo by association to Slappy. Slappy supremacy 🙏

I just think he's neat.

I remember some thing on twitter where SB fans were complaining about the show reusing old characters like Nosferatu and Granny Prunes but honestly SB fans on twitter are kinda annoying to begin with and will complain about anything. I couldn't care less, gimme more German expressionist characters <3 <3

Jokes aside. Idk I've grown really fond of Nosey. He's just a silly guy. Outside of flickering the light switch on and off, he has a funny life. His ship never made it to Wismar and he ended up stuck underwater. Now he has a dorky fish butler and a son and he lives a relatively mundane life. He's the nightshift manager at the Krusty krab, hes a single dad, he writes screenplays sometimes, he promoted products. He auditions. He even did an interview once.

Its weird but funny. The first vampire in cinema and the first (unofficial) adaptation of dracula is just some guy chilling with fishes and living his life. He seems pretty content with things and I like that. He's what I aspire to be <3 ((NOT BALD))

As for the show, spongebob the show is trying to build continuity. Idk why but it's been since the beginning of the post secondary movie era and the tidal zone shenanigans. Its more likely to reference locations and old characters every so often. Some people complain that its trying to milk nostalgia but honestly I think they're just trying to make the world more connected and cohesive. people complain when the show does literally anything, they complain about old characters being used but they also hate the new characters so it really doesn't matter.

I personally love the direction the show is currently in. Its fun, I like how they expand on some characters and they all have their own little thing going on. I also like Nosferatu specifically because of how absurd it is to have a German expressionist movie character existing in a childrens show. People say it ruins his original gag because it was supposed to be random but Nosferatu being a regular character on it's own is random. This dude was spreading his plague to Wisborg, now he pulls pranks underwater by flickering the lights. He has a morally decent fish Dr. Caligari as his primary care physician. It's funny.

Also you mentioned there's a kid version of Nosferatu in Kamp Koral. That's not a child nosferatu. That is The child OF Nosferatu. I wonder who conceived Kidferatu? Idk but its funny that Nosey is a single dad working to support his kid. In Squidferatu you can see a framed picture of his son in the background :D (I really want to see Slappy being a good nanny to Kidferatu. Please please PLEASE)

I love the episode Graveyard Shift and I love his reappearance in The Night Patty. I always liked this weird guy but I only became invested once he got associated with Slappy. I think once the synopsis of Slappy Daze dropped and it revealed Slappy being nosferatu's butler was when I became obsessed and watched every nosferatu/dracula adaptation (don't ask, I comb through things fast. Also I liked vampire media years before this but this took an existing interested and pushed it to obsession lol)

Also watching the 1979 adaption of Nosferatu in particular gave me brain worms. I was like "....he kinda bad tho" I'm trying hard not to say I've begun to simp for him but I am 👉👈 I'm mildly disgusted with myself but its also like. I kinda like him more than what I should. I sorta want to slap myself for such a weird thing because REALLY look at him. But I can't help but like it. Ughhhhh. I wanna grab his big nose. I like to imagine it'll honk like a clown's nose.

It doesn't help that he's so silly in Spongebob like that's not helping at all😭

Obviously I prefer Slappy because he's my murder bby but I also think Nosferatu could get it as well.

So yeah. In other news, I preordered the super7 nosferatu figurine. I cant wait to get it. But idk the NECA nosferatu figurine looks better. It was also cheaper. Idk its too late now to change anything. I am still quite happy. I want to make that Nosferatu a proud supportive dad to my Draculaura doll :)

[the-witness-sys]

alter intro: michael

[pt: alter intro: michael]

linky winky

hello!!! i wanted to make an intro post but idk what to say B) cutely copies alex's formatting

purple is MY color i can't believe he stole it smh /lh

about me!

[pt: about me!]

name: michael

nickname(s): mike

pronouns: he/him

gender: trans male

sexuality: dudes r cool (gay gay homosexual gay)

age: 20.....? idk i thought my age was constant but i'm feelin kinda 18 or something rn o_O anyways

role(s): official silly guy (also co-host, i guess)

more stuff below . you should check it out B)

cool lil facteronies

[pt: cool lil facteronies]

- i kiss men. on the lips

- i'm a michael afton fictive B) (one of three in our system, actually)

- i don't remember shit from source! i'm still very attached to it though

- i love looking at fanart of myself <3 feeds my ego /hj

- out of the hosts (me, alex, rain), my memory is the worst (i think it's an adhd thing though)

- despite this, i am also a memory-holder. seems like a design flaw to me

- the others are trying to force me to make my own blog so i stop filling our dashboard with fnaf content. smh

- i like working with my hands B) i've recently taken up wood carving but i think the wood i got is too hard :(

- i dunno man talking about myself is so hard

- oh yeah i unironically play league of legends. the others make fun of me for it :((

w-woah! links!

(pt: w-woah! links!)

i don't know how to descibe the voice i read this in, but know that it's meant to be read in A Voice

- pinterest (i really like hospitalcore so maybe don't look if you have medical trauma. also there might be syringes/needles in there i don't remember)

- pronouns.cc (not a whole lot to look at. i only use he/him lmao)

- maybe i will have my own tumblr eventually but i am oh so eepy rn

pictures.

(pt: pictures.)

im too tired to think of something funny rn

i was gonna add some more picrews to match alex's intro but i actually don't really have any. i don't spend all my time being emo and making picrews of myself like some people /t. instead, here are some edits B)

these images make me scream /pos

edits by @mizukolai (thanks again!!!!!)

original art by madowotti on twitter

anyways i am going bed. thank you for reading and feel free to say hi whenever B)

[teneriadvos]

Teneri ad Vos

meaning "enthralled by you" in Latin.

💜

Vos || 18 yrs || He

Can't stress enough: MINORS, DNI. DO NOT INTERACT. THIS IS NOT THE BLOG FOR YOU. ALSO, I WILL BLOCK YOU IF YOU TRY TO FOLLOW ME AND YOU DON'T HAVE AN AGE IN YOUR BIO OR PINNED POST. THANKS.

💜 Fun Vos Facts! 💜

- College student

- Writer

- Total nerd (D&D, Video games, etc. Ask me about my collections!)

- In case you can't tell, I'm a Latin nerd too :)

- More holes than the average man

- Bi guy

- Happily taken :) I have a lovely girlfriend and she smokes weed

All of the other stuff is going below the cut. One more time, MINORS DNI. FINAL FUCKING WARNING. THANKS.

💜 Sexy Vos Facts!! 💜

Okay, green for giving, blue for receiving. Purple for both.

I'm switchy as hell but I'm really only going to be thinking subby thoughts on this blog. I might make the rare dom post or two but I will not play dom. Thanks 💜 Okay now let's get into it:

- Raging hypnosis / brainwashing kink. Love getting tranced out 💜

- Dumbification and stuff like that :) I guess it kind of goes hand in hand with the hypno but sometimes it's just so nice to not Think about Things

- Praise kink my beloved. To care and be cared for is always really nice

- Denial and edging. God it's so much fun but I'm so bad at it lol

- Bondage!! Tie me up in ribbons and rope! Plus, I want to learn shibari so bad...

- Puppy play stuff!! Ask me to bark and I go woof!!

- Mommy kink :) Sometimes it's just nice to be mommy's baby boy y'know?

- Royalty kink. I'll gladly be a knight or prince of your kingdom hehe

- Blasphemy and the corruption that comes with it. Turns out there's a reason I like being called angel so much :3

- Plus some crazy fantasy stuff. Y'know, tentacles and aphrodisiacs and monsterfucking and holding hands with someone who really really loves me, etc etc

- Uhhh recent development I wanna get pegged and / or actually railed??? I want cock or strap in my hole??? ASAP??? please and thank you???

[This list is subject to change or expand depending on what Tumblr does to me.]

💜 What Vos doesn't like. 💜

- If you're kind to me, I will be kind to you. That's the golden rule on my blog. Don't be a dick, and don't be a creep.

- ABSOLUTELY DO NOT ASK FOR PICTURES OF ME. I know I'm whoring myself out on the internet but I'd like to keep it to just words.

- Please don't open conversations by sending me nudes or spirals. It's kind of weird to me. Say "hi" or "hello" or even just ask me first!! Thank you!!

- Please keep your sissy, detrans, forced-fem, and misgendering stuff to yourself please.

- Additionally, no thanks on piss, scat, race, and gainer/feeder stuff! It is NOT for me. Also, I'll probably block you if it's your whole account.

- I block empty, no-pfp no-name no-description etc. blogs on site. At least make your profile look a little lived-in.

- MINORS DNI. DO NOT INTERACT WITH ME. I KNOW I'VE SAID IT A COUPLE TIMES ALREADY BUT I AM BEING SO SERIOUS. THIS IS NOT A BLOG FOR YOU IN ANY CAPACITY. GO AWAY.

- I'm not looking for a long term dynamic. But DM me maybe and we can play around?

[These boundaries are also subject to change. If you're freaking me out, I will tell you. If you continue to freak me out, I will block you. If you're a robot, uh, go fuck yourself. Idk.]

💜 Vos Terminology Index 💜

Please call me...

- Masculine terms; man, boy, guy, dude, etc.

- Pretty, good, sweet, and baby boy.

- Dumb, empty-headed, pathetic, needy.

- Prince, puppy, dog, toy, angel, doll.

- Chest, dick, and hole to talk about my anatomy.

If you're unsure about something, pop in and ask!

💜 Closing remarks! 💜

I'm a total nerd with a writer's background, and I tend to get really wordy. If I write some nerdy or horndog ramble, just bare with me. I like talking lol

Okay, that's all from me!! I hope all of this wasn't too boring! Remember, be kind and receive kindness in return.

Vos out. 💜

[formulatrash]

This recent apparent trend of f1 team tiktoks just posting thirsty driver content. Idk if I'm just too old for tiktok or if there's something a little uncomfortable about it given how women / queer fans are also treated. Do you have any coherent thoughts on whether it's just me or whether this is genuinely a bit weird?

hello!

yes, I do, a bit. so when I worked in social media (before tiktok, this was 2017/early 18) for motorsport... ok not a team but Honda was very much a player, I very gently suggested we should lean into the fact Brendon and Pierre, as our incoming Toro Rosso drivers, were quite pretty and anime in a way that Honda itself wanted to use in more branding.

there was a real amount of discomfort and pushback. not in a 'we would be sexualising them' (that wasn't what I was suggesting, I was just saying that people shots play better on insta and we should ask our photographer for more portraits) but because they were like well that's a bit homo. to be clear, this did not come from Honda but an agency they were working with.

it hit me like a tonne of bricks cus I was like fucking hell guys we're finally past the misery of the McLaren divorce and we can be positive! Pierre's our driver and Brendon is lovely! but they were like oh having dudes on our feed sounds gay.

I was like well err, hate to tell you that this sport is full of dudes. and people like lil guys. having worked in social media for BBC Radio 1/1X/2/6/Music, I was like what the fuck do you mean posting a beautiful picture is weird? this is just editorial? we want to make our drivers look cool, no? and then when I worked for F1 that one ultra HD gif of Lewis stroking Charles' face to a background of fireworks is, full cop, my work but also it was a beautiful, cinematic moment after a tragic race and I think men should be allowed to show emotions so whatver.

but then there's been a real 180 in the past two years to posting sewis and carlando and really prettifying and borderline objectifying (or outright, in some instances, objectifying) the drivers and that's not it. I would be deeply uncomfortable if the teams did to women drivers what they do to men and I don't think it's ok.

there's something very odd about leaning into that fandom without understanding how to respect the limits. I know about shipping fandom so I can steer myself around it. I know about thirsty stuff so I can recognise it. but on the other hand it gets clicks and thats the metric we live and die for in almost everything, so.

idk, I don't really blame anyone but it's super uncomfortable. probably not as bad as George getting asked if he'd go out with a fan in lockdown or the fucking milk challenge but up there.

[seoafin]

ok i will preface this by saying i have JUST recently discovered the ripverse (i am kicking my legs giggling twirling a phone cord reading all the asks and like. supplementals you’ve posted/people have sent in though have NO fear) but something about how rip!mc was supposed to die at 16 but was saved by love really stuck with me. and i think this is kinda similar to what the other anon said (hi) but i also never felt like i was meant to live long like not even through anything tragic just like. i could not picture a future for myself! and high school was desolate enough as is but no one i knew there could picture me having a future either which did not help things. so i kinda drifted through just in the back of my head knowing i was gonna be gone soon and being okay with that. and then i went to college and i met my friends and my ex and i’ve never mentioned it to them and idk if i will bc the feeling isn’t completely gone but just through existing in my life they did kinda save me. or at least made me consider myself as a permanent living thing and that life wasn’t just something happening to me but was my actually life. and idk if this makes sense but i love the idea of being saved by love and how people really can have such a positive impact sometimes without even knowing it. like what is the point to anything if not to love and be loved. and i think being saved by it kinda exemplifies that perfectly. anyway thank you for writing the ripverse and through that giving me a reason to ramble about love <3

me sobbing and blowing my nose into a tissue: i-it's about l-l-l-love.....