#also it’s good to point out that Paxton and Devi are friends and that’s why they didn’t bother to stay in touch.

[loveourfuture-c]

You see, I always got this impression that Paxton was in a way a ticket for Devi to feel self validated. He was the popular guy, the unattainable. She was physically attracted to him so the perfect fantasy and that’s Devi in a nutshell when she starts the series. She wants the dream of being popular because she thinks that outside validation (that she gets through Paxton) will give her the love she wants to feel for herself. So Devi walking away to follow Paxton at the party reflected her priorities at the moment. It was accurate for her arc.

Then, she got to date him and she archived *that dream* and yet she wasn’t happy or fulfilled. She realized that she cannot seek validation from outside forces and while Paxton was the one to break up with her I think she was able to get over him so quickly because she finally got to know what it feels to be popular and to date him and it wasn’t the life changing thing she thought it would be. She liked him but she was not in love with him. He fitted into the part of Devi that wanted to be popular but does not align with her new dreams anymore.

Sea was a means to and end. I think it allowed Devi to move on from Paxton but also figure out what she wants from a relationship. I like that in both relationships Ben was still a constant in her life.

Lastly, Ben is someone that aligns a lot more with who Devi truly is. Her new dream that is not longer about wanting to feel loved by external factors and she knows she is enough for Ben as she is and not what she thinks should be.

Anon this is the most correct thing anyone has ever left in my inbox. I also feel like her wanting to date Paxton was 1. To be “popular” and 2. In her own words, “be a normal girl that could actually have a boyfriend”. So yes she wanted to have that sort of validation but also she was looking to distract herself from her grief and all the things that made her “not normal”.

Also to add on a little bit to that last part, the reason why Ben was able to remain a constant in Devi’s life is because they are friends. They genuinely like each other and have so much in common. Like their relationship is best friends who are in love with each other and it’s amazing.

[catty-words]

not sure why the line i know who he is, and he's a good person grabbed me this time around, but i really like the way it turns out to be both naive and true. naive because paxton gave haley an upsettingly well-justified reason for warning devi to protect herself. he was careless with haley's feelings and didn't want to own up to that for really selfish reasons. and the fact that this deep friendship exists in his past without devi having any knowledge of it speaks to the way she doesn't know much about paxton at all, actually.

but also, he is a good person because he legitimately cares about doing better, even if it takes a beat for his better nature to assert itself, and she does know him because her inability to be anything but her fully emotional self often draws the same vulnerability out of him (see: him coming to apologize to her about his rebecca sensitivity in 1.02, their kiss in 1.08, their conversation when he drives her home in 2.08) .

and i like that tension of character as a larger theme in season three. rhyah is both the friend nalini desperately needs and a bad friend when it comes down to it. des is both the perfect boyfriend for devi to have to come into her own and someone who alienates her from everything that's made her devi to this point in her life. manish is both a way to satisfy nirmala's traditional picture for kamala's future and too americanized.

[randommusingsstuff]

Hey 💕, i just wanted to say i love all your metas so i have a question. When do you think everything started to change between Ben and Devi?

Hi! I love your blog! Thank you so much ❤️

This is a tough question to answer because I feel like it happens in stages. It's pretty clear that Ben has feelings for Devi from the beginning. He notices her. He sees her failed attempt at flirting with Jonah and he sees her reaction to Paxton. He goes out of his way to get her attention. All of that is straight out of the teenage-boys-with-awkward-flirting-skills starter pack.

His realization that he likes Devi happens in episode six. He is miserable because Devi is icing him out and Andy Samberg asks the question "why did Ben even care?" . Those of us who picked up on their flirting from episode 1 know exactly why, but for the rest of the audience and for Ben this is a turning point.  By the end of the episode Devi Venmo's him money "so he never has to accept food from a pedo again" which means everything to him. In a life of neglect, someone actually listened to him and remembered.

For Devi, things are more complicated. I actually believe her feelings for Ben have also existed from episode 1 but are very dormant. She notices the things he does, pushes herself to be as good as him, and obviously their flirty banter is off the charts. However, Devi confuses her fixation on him with hatred. Things start to change in episode 2 when he decides to be nice to her after she lashes out at him in class, and she thinks maybe he's not the worst. There is a turning point again in episode 5, where they decide to team up for Model UN and she thinks maybe they could be friends. The final realization that she has feelings for him happens in episode 10 when he says "I just wanted to make sure you were okay." Maitreyi is such an incredible actor, and you can see the realization flash across her face. She never turns back after that.

[cupcakesandtv]

i would like you to expand on the idea that Paxton loves Devi, please?

The thing is that Paxton loves Devi.

I just don’t see any other reasonable explanation for his behavior over the two seasons. Even when I disagree with the writing, I still think the case can be made that he’s in love with Devi. Paxton has been around. We know now that Devi is his first real girlfriend, he said as much when he told her she’s going to do his homework. “I thought we were-” (We’ll come back to this later too) He thinks “labels are cheesy” or whatever. We know Devi is his first real girlfriend/ boyfriend interaction.

There’s no shame in that, but he has been around. He’s hooked up with lots of people and he thinks dates should involve friends and video games which is wild but clearly, this has worked for him.

When Devi asked him to have sex with her no strings attached in 1x01, he agrees and then in 1x02 he’s ready to go through with it, but by the end of 1x02 it’s clear he understands Devi likes him and if they have sex, there will be strings on her part, so he sets the boundary that they aren’t going to have sex. But we all know by the look back, he’s intrigued. He’s trying to figure her out. 

Their friendship grows, but then he finds out she’s lying about them having sex and he’s hurt. He thought they were friends. He trusted Devi but she was using him for clout. She apologizes and makes amends and Paxton starts to see her as somebody he actually likes. He also didn’t correct anyone who asks about him having sex with Devi which seems in direct opposition to him in s2 saying he’s embarrassed of her, but whatever. He goes to Ben Gross’ party because of Devi. He wants to go because she’ll be there. She invites him, he’s down to go. Devi at this point is back to thinking she has a chance and she’s not reading that signal wrong. She does have a chance, Paxton rescues her, they have a smokin hot kiss where I think it was sealed for Paxton that Devi is different from the other people he’s hooked up with and he LIKES THAT SHE’S DIFFERENT. He likes her. All her weird and awkward and he genuinely is concerned about her and her feelings and everything that happened to her. He’s invested.

That kiss was technically pretty tame, but the build up, the way they both acted, before and after, Paxton converted to the Church of Devi. (literally quoting my own fic but lmao it’s the vibe!!!!! “If you kiss me again, I’m gonna have to admit that I don’t like kissing anybody else.”) He did not expect the kiss to go like that and he was pleasantly surprised. Instead of seeing her Monday, this dummy took her dress that he’d definitely laundered to her house the next day to see her. OF COURSE her mom rips him to shreds for the second time despite him only ever being kind and polite to her. (he gives good parent) So he blows Devi off for a while. Nalini hit at his biggest insecurity, his intelligence. I think she likely didn’t do very well with the comment about knocking Devi up either because Paxton is generally Mr. Responsible so I feel like that definitely hit him in a point of pride, he’s having sex but he’s not stupid, he’s safe. He tries to rebut with “we only kissed” not knowing that was just as bad to Nalini. Paxton got roasted by an adult that he will have to spend more time with if he decides to keep seeing Devi so he blows her off. His sister calls out his douchery but she gets that Devi is different to Paxton too, I think that’s why she called him out like that. He told Becca they kissed (another point for Paxton really thinking that kiss was top shelf, new bar to meet, the gold standard. God is a woman, her name is Devi Vishwakumar) So he apologizes. He braves Nalini’s wrath and spends his whole afternoon/evening waiting for Devi to get back from Malibu so he can make good and ask her out. Because now he’s solid. He likes her. She’s different. He’s opening himself up to what could be with Devi. But the date is bad because he doesn’t know what a real date is and when she tells him she’s going to India, he’s like whoa I’m all in, this is happening, “gotta make it count.” However the show wants to backtrack, Paxton was clearly into Devi. He was dating her. He wasn’t embarrassed of her. And even if labels are cheesy or whatever, by the time he finds out what she’s done, he’s deeply hurt.

This is a big turning point. He opened himself up, he knew she was different and instead of doing the regular hookup, hang out, bail, he was with Devi. 

She hurts him. He is hurt because this was his moment knowing she’s different and he acted differently, but he got played. And to boot, he breaks his arm, meaning she’s spun his whole life out of control by putting his swim scholarship chances at risk. His whole future is at risk now.

It’s reasonable for him to want nothing to do with her. He’s hurt for a while over it. His friends mock him. His future is in limbo. Paxton is upset and done with Devi. Different or not, she’s not worth it. No matter how much he liked her. No matter how vulnerable he was. 

Paxton takes his homework to Devi and lets out a little of that anger at her, he slips and says “i thought we were-” but it doesn’t matter. He’s not going to let her in anymore. He’s not going to show her how deep he was to begin with because clearly she and people around her (her mom) are adept at hitting him where it hurts so he’s using her for his grades and he doesn’t give a shit. Except very quickly he does give a shit. He feels bad. She’s doing her best to make amends and he feels like a jerk and Becca reminds him again, he’s taking the easy way out. Nobody deserves to be treated how he’s treating Devi and the thing is, he knew that. He already knew it as he was doing it. It didn’t make him feel better to treat her like shit. (We can compare this to Ben enjoying tormenting her but that’s a different discussion.)

Paxton turns the corner. He’s going to learn this stuff. He’s going to ask Devi to actually help him. She’s running herself ragged trying to do it for him and he can’t let her do that. It’s messed up and if his mom knew, she’d be horrified not because he’s cheating, but because she’s more concerned about kindness and he’s being far from kind. 

OKAY SO NOW almost immediately, once he’s asked Devi to actually help him, he shifts entirely easily and quickly into friend mode. He loves hanging out with Devi. He’s reminded that he loves hanging out with her even if she’s weird or awkward or says whatever pops into her head. He enjoys spending time with her. She’s fun and oh no when he’s close to her she’s cute and he’s reminded he was all in and when she’s smiling at him he can forget that she cheated on him. He likes her that much. He even floats the idea. “Isn’t that weird because we used to hook up?” They have that sweet heart eyes exchange but Devi pulls back and this puts Paxton on the end of “I gave my best smolder and she rejected it. We’re just friends.”

So he doesn’t move forward. Even more, the next time a moment like that hangs, he tries the opposite float “we don’t make sense” and she agrees. 

She’s upset about it but I think from his POV, she’s agreeing and he’s remembering that she hurt him BAD. She hurt him bad and her mom hates him and thinks he’s an idiot and his friends still fuck with him about getting played and they’re debating his place in the group. Who cares if Devi is pretty and he never kissed anybody like her, all these things add up to being friends and not putting himself out there for her to hurt him again. But unlike in S1, Devi takes the information, takes the friend boundary and respects it. She’s not reading between the lines anymore because she’s busy with Aneesa and thinking she wants Ben because it seems like he wants Aneesa. (WHAT I WOULD HAVE KILLED FOR PAXTON TO DROP SOME LINE LIKE “she’s not devi 2.0, there’s only you, Aneesa’s her own thing and you’re not interchangeable, even if Ben thinks so.”) So Paxton is struggling because up to this point the thing that actually kept him academically interested was Devi. He was doing his own work but he got to hang out with Devi and he had a reasonable excuse to feed his friends and anyone else about why they were hanging out and he LOVES hanging out with her. He’s tied his academic success to Devi. He’s not wrong for being upset that she ditched him several times but she’s not wrong about holding his hand through this. He has to grow up and do it for himself. 

He’s mad at her again. And I wonder if she had come around to apologizing quicker or if it had only been one thing (Just being suspended because of the Aneesa thing or JUST being mad about Aneesa and Ben) he might have jumped to accept her apology quickly. But I think that even just the fact that it took her a minute to remember he existed hurt him again. He likes Devi. He likes hanging out with Devi. Loves hanging out with her. He loses his excuse to do it because she blows him off and he can’t possibly sink to just let that go easily because he likes hanging out with her. This is like the third or fourth or fifth time she’s hurt him and he’s not fucking around. He’s done. 

Until she’s crying and walking home and he LIKES DEVI.

He knows she doesn’t talk to people well when things go bad so he offers to drive her home and he gives her space to open up and talk about it and she doesn’t really but she at least takes interest in HIM again and that’s really enough to remind him that he really likes Devi. He doesn’t ice her out anymore, he’s back to being friends with her and he’s back to having an excuse to hang out with her. And along the way he learns something about his family history, his grandfather, he goes above and beyond and he likes the way it feels. Nobody thought he could do that, certainly Ben Gross isn’t out here suggesting anyone can study and do well. He’s just an asshole who wants other people around him to be stupid so he looks better. Devi isn’t the best peer tutor because she is that good at tutoring. It’s because she believes that everybody, if they work for it, can achieve it. Education/teacher language DEVI IS ALL ABOUT THE GROWTH MINDSET. This stuff doesn’t come naturally to her. And actually if we go back to that conversation in the Jeep about Paxton accidentally swimming to San Diego, it sounds like Devi doesn’t have much that comes to her naturally except maybe making messes. She works for everything. That attitude and experience makes her more equipped to believe in others. 

So no matter what his misgivings are about being hurt again, Paxton offers himself up all wet on a platter to Devi. Coming into her window because he likes her. He likes her so much he’s willing to risk Devi hurting him again, the wrath of her mom who hits him where it hurts and does not go easy, AND gravity because remember, Trent recently fell off that roof, Paxton barely got his cast off from breaking his arm! Paxton takes a page out of Steve’s book and crawls through her window ready to be hurt again. 

And he loves spending time with her. He’s spending all that time with her. He’s finally doing what he wants, without judgement from anyone else. He’s dating Devi on his terms, as safe as he can make it. And he likes her so much. 

But Devi is reading the signals and she’s like wait a second, I like you so much I wanna go to the dance. Because you like me, so that’s a reasonable expectation. Paxton hates turning her down and tbh I don’t even know if it would have gone as badly if Trent and Marcus weren’t just behind him ready to kick dirt in her face. She fucked up their guy and she’s “crazy” and they’re gonna publicly humiliate her because she did that to Paxton. (boys are so weird honestly like just go to therapy) 

Devi says she’s not gonna be a secret and that moment when she shakes his hand, he definitely did not think that was going to happen. Devi’s not obsessed with him anymore. She knows him and she likes him AND she’s not willing to be somebody’s secret and she wants more than he’s offering.

Instead of going to the dance, he stays home. All his bros went, he’s been to prom regularly since he was in 7th grade (YIKES) but he’s sitting this out because he’s not interested in hanging out at a dance with anybody else. Except Devi. But he can’t hang out with Devi because she’s asking too much of him and he turned her down. I refuse to believe he was sitting comfortably at home NOT thinking about Devi. The show makes it seem like the counselor calling him reminds him of Devi but he was definitely thinking about her all night. Everybody is at the dance and he’s at home because he didn’t want to open himself up to not just Devi hurting him again, but also to his friends fucking with him. He’s not embarrassed of Devi. He’s worried about his place in the social hierarchy of school and she’s hurt him a lot of times. This is where he decides that Devi’s worth it. Paxton loves Devi. She’s different from all the other hookups. She’s different from his friends. They make a good team and he WANTS to be with her. He wants to hang out with her and he doesn’t need an excuse. He can just open himself up to a relationship with her and that’s all he has to do to get to hang out with Devi. A very “i love josh” moment.

So right after being terrified that he might have hurt her (seriously, if you’re a driver, you’ve prob had that nightmare) she’s okay and she’s asking him to be clear. “Damn, you’re gonna make me say it?” is much less about him thinking he’s too good for her or embarrassed of her, he’s opening himself up to Devi again. Again. And he’s willing to put it all on the line for Devi because he loves her. But he can’t tell her that because he’s not an idiot. He knows he’s been around the block more than she has and he doesn’t want to spook her, so he says “as your boyfriend” and he kisses her and they go into that dance and Paxton looks nervous but I’m gonna say it, it’s less about being embarrassed. It’s absolutely about the fact that he sees this as a big step. This is someone important and he’s growing up. Devi is worth it. Devi is special. Devi is different. Because he loves her. 

[seeyoumondaydevi]

About the Paxton only showing up for Devi only when he gets something out of it.. and how he kept asking if Devi would study with him and things.. and completely relying on her if she would help him get her grades up... (I’m just collectively answering to all the anti- paxton asks cause im lazy af to answer them individually lol)

 Devi was ASSIGNED as his tutor by the teacher/ counselor. So like any tutee he did need her help to study. But towards the end he didn’t. He wanted to the group project, when Fabiola asked both the boys if they were okay with her doing the work and them just taking the credit, Paxton insisted on doing the work too, Devi didn’t tell him to do anything.. later in that or the next  episode she did give him a push for the extra credit project thing “Swim to San Diego in school” but he put in the effort and did his project well. He’s been with her throughout season 1, and what did he get out of it in the end? He just got hurt that she used him for a sex rumor and her mom yelling at him on the streets. He was just absent for one thing. Devi’s drive to malibu. He had no idea of what was going on... how was he supposed to help?

I’m just going to go over their relationship from the start,

This is nothing big, but if you see it from Devi’s point of view, the whole school refers to you as the unfuckable nerd but the most popular guy agrees to have sex with you... without expecting anything in return..

Devi approached Paxton for sex and the first time she panicked but I have to add this here.. Paxton LISTENS. Devi made up a stupid lie to get out of Paxton’s garage about her mom having Polio and later when Paxton showed up at her doorstep to apologize for kicking Devi out, and when her mom yells from inside the house asking them to not laugh he goes “I’m so sorry about your polio” just gets me lol jsjs anyways.. He chose to apologize in person when he knows he’s wrong. He holds himself accountable. He could have just texted her or anything but he chose to apologize in person says alot. 

Later at Trent’s party, Paxton was the only one who made Devi feel welcomed. He got her a drink as was talking to her.. About the Paxton and Zoe deal, Paxton probably knew Devi for 3 days. Isn’t he entitled to his feelings? Just because Devi is into him and asked him for sex doesn’t mean he’s tied down to her. He took her in as a friend and opened up to her a little bit in episode 2 about his sister and how people who he even considered as friends bullied his sister. 

Later when Devi is bit by a coyote, everyone was busy taking a video or just standing there and Paxton leaps in and stays with her in the hospital until her mom kicks him out. He doesn’t really get anything in return from any of these. He also was the ONLY one who asked her why she even got close to the coyote in the first place and she felt comfortable enough to tell him even though she thought she sounded crazy.. but he always found it endearing “No I think you’re crazy.. but in a good way” ( Again, he gets nothing out of it).

After the Ganesh Puja, I felt like Paxton has a natural thing to calm Devi down.. which is exactly what she needs. He see’s Devi kicking lockers in anger, leaves his friends and talks to her. Asks her about her culture and wants to know more about it, keep in mind Devi was/is also embarrassed about her Indian roots, so he kinda idk how to word it him asking about her culture and being genuinely intrested at least would help her embrace her Indian traditions instead of being embarrassed of it. He asks her why she’s so frustrated, didn’t judge her for her temper just calms her out... again he gets nothing in return... and him complementing her in her traditional wear omg it kills me.. hey I’m Indian and everytime I’m in my traditional wear for weddings or anything I pretty much just hide in the washroom cause I’ve had guys bully me for what I wear smh so Paxton seeming intrested in her culture and complementing her just melts me. 

The next episode Devi’s rumor gets out of hand, and Paxton is hurt. Most of you all say he can’t be hurt just because he’s popular. wtf? She used him for a sex rumor, anyone would be hurt. He felt USED. He thought Devi was his friend and she used him. The same way he considered people as friends and they bullied his sister. That definitely hit a nerve, he still didn’t insult her, and ADMITTED to the rumors Devi started? Again. He doesn’t get anything out of it also proving he isn’t embarrassed of her. 

At Ben’s party, Paxton got his name checked into the fight, in front of the whole school, Devi falls into a pool, and her bestfriends just walk away and the whole school, including Paxton’s friends, Trent, Marcus, Zoe were pointing fingers and laughing. Paxton jumps in to help her again, his friends were laughing even after Paxton pulled her out, so Its dumb to think he did it all to look cool. He gave her his sweats, stayed with her till she sorted herself out and didn’t care about the party and dropped her home. Again. He gets nothing out of this. Just imagine Devi soaking wet, sorting herself out and walking home.. ALONE. Paxton again is the only one who asks her if she’s okay after the fight with her friends and she jokes about it, but he asks again because he cares?! He listens to her. He gets nothing out of this. She felt like everyone in her life was done with her and he kissed her.. because he likes her and also probably to show that he wasn’t done with her? And my boy left saying “see you Monday Devi” so HE HAD NO INTENTION OF AVOIDING HER- but then yeah, she left her dress in his car and he shows up at her door to return it and then gets yelled by Nalini just for coming to Devi’s rescue.. She said awful things, called that boy an idiot who ruins girls futures by getting them pregnant. he ends up distanced himself from Devi because he’s just a hurt 16 year old boy. Then again he realizes he still wants to be with Devi and shows up at her doorstep.. again. 

He waits right outside her door all day for Devi to come home, because he didn’t want to miss his chance. He could have been caught by Nalini.. but he’s willing to risk it.

he asks her out. Then we see that he brought his friends over. But then he explains himself, He doesn’t know you’re not supposed to bring friends on your date. But this guy has been having his friends at all his dates, not only Devi’s. He realizes he messed up and Devi doesn’t like it, but he stands up and doesn’t want to give up and wants to take her on an actual date “Okay, I will take you on an actual date”. He still doesn’t give up even when she says its too late and that she is moving to India. About the Paxton being embarrassed of their relationship in the start, he wasn’t he just didn’t call her his girlfriend. Even Zoe, wouldn’t call herself Paxton’s girlfriend. In the first two episodes, he wanted to ask Devi if they would pick garbage together but she asks Ben because she thought Paxton just wants to be friends, and then he looked bummed about it and asks her, why she didn’t pick him instead of brushing it away and hiding it. He also kissed her in public? He flirted with her at her party, asked her if she would come to his swim meets because he’s love to come out of that pool and look at her?? “I’d love to come out of the pool and look at you”

Then he later went around searching for her because he likes spending time with her?? and not because he gets something out of it. Also when Devi tried to uninvite him to her going away dinner, he was so disappointed and just wanted to be there with her. When he got cheated on publicly he runs out. He's hurt as fuck. Swimming is taken away from him and he has a broken arm and all his friends were making fun of hin for being cheated on.. and idk theres this scene where Trent Shira and Paxton were playing video games and Paxton just looks at shira like ugh- so was that supposed to look like he's missing Devi?Im just guessing because we had a parallel of Devi and Paxton playing. He looked so uncomfortable being mean to Devi, even his narrator said "Paxton didn't enjoy being mean to Devi".

He was not just embarrassed of being cheated on in public.. he was also hurt. In episode 3.. he doesn't bring up about how she publicly humiliated him.. just how he felt like an Idiot. "You must think I'm such an idiot, I liked you... I thought we were... doesn't matter" He was actually hurting.

He did forgive her and then she starts tutoring him.. and they have sm fun. Daxton study dates next season pleaseee.

She keeps blowing him off.. she isn't only doing him a favour she was also ASSIGNED as his tutor. She yells at him and he's mad but he's still there for her when she's crying on the road...

He later climbed through her window in a STORM. He risks it again, getting hurt by Devi or caught by Nalini.. also a fall and breaking something again.. I mean that boy is hanging onto the sides of the first floor in pouring rain...

He wanted a secret relationship because he was scared of getting hurt again.

After he and Devi called off their secret relationship.. he didn't even go to the dance. This guy has been goin to prom since 7th grade (he mentions this in ssn 1 ep 3) and its never a problem for him if his dates cancel or anything but he didn't even go to the dance this year.

He later realized Devi is worth it and shows up at the dance for her as her boyfriend. He isn't getting something out of it, he's so obviously going to loose his friends. They totally judged him when he walked in with Devi.

Anyways all I'm saying is, whenever Paxton KNOWS that Devi needs someone.. he is there for her without expecting anything in return. If we all can let go of Devi's dumb choices.. cut Paxton some slack too.. He's just a 16 year old boy.. he does some dumb things.. but he later regrets it and never does them again and tried to make it better. Also not y'all hating on him for not using emojis 💀

Everyone has a different way of texting pls.

[edwinas]

Hmm Ben drove Devi to Malibu. Went out of his way and put a roof over her head when she was homeless. Got her friends to talk to her. Was never embarrassed to be with Devi in public and ran to and comfort her when she was crying and what did Paxton do? Bring his friends on all of their dates and make Devi do his homework

B*n coined “UN”, repeatedly degraded and antagonised Devi, called her paralysis fake, was racist, didn’t help her in his own house and went to make out with Shira instead, tried to kiss Devi after she rejected him, was nice to her only after realising he likes her in S1. He put himself and Devi in danger by driving when he doesn’t know how to, call an Uber or something. It was nice of him to open his massive empty home to Devi and help mend her friendships though.

In S2, he publicly mocked Devi every chance he got, enjoyed humiliating her, egged her to permanently alter her body to “teach her a lesson” (how is that not a huge red flag??), almost cheated on a girlfriend again. 

In S1, Paxton saved Devi twice, cheered her up at Ganesh Puja, didn’t tell on her when she lied about them having sex to not ruin her reputation, complimented her looks, went to Devi’s house to make amends at the risk of seeing Nalini etc. He didn’t know Devi’s home situation because he was avoiding her and isn’t psychic.

I agree S2 Paxton could have behaved better. But he’s a hurt kid and is allowed to act out, you can’t expect him to be a saint when no one else was. His reasoning was flawed when he thought Devi owed him because he can no longer go to uni for swimming after being publicly cheated on and getting hit by a car. So he feels she’s responsible for this mess and goes about it the wrong way. But he does come around and works for his grades.

Him taking his friends on his dates is a weird concept but he explained that’s how his previous hook-ups went and it’s obvious he doesn’t have dating experience. So it makes sense that he hugs Devi and Trent, doesn’t mean he’s “hiding” her just that he doesn’t know how to act. Paxton was seen walking alone with Devi, wanted to go to her soirée as his date, invited her to his swim meet – he’s publicly invested in them. Not knowing dating moeurs isn’t wilfully hurtful. Once pointed out, he acknowledged his ignorance and strived to do better.

Paxton said he wasn’t embarrassed of being with Devi but he wanted to save face after being publicly humiliated. He’s also more guarded by nature because he’s been betrayed in the past. It makes sense (and Devi thought so too) but I didn’t love it. The show drastically undermined his reasoning too. Paxton wasn’t embarrassed of Devi before, including when they were dating in S2 ep 1 or throughout S1, why is he now? Feels like a cheap drama-inducing trope so I’m happy he pulls himself together and takes Devi to prom. I want him to apologise for some of the stuff he’s done regardless.

This is probably the last time I’ll answer an ask like this because it was never about having an honest chat, just holding both boys to wildly different standards when they were in the exact same predicament.

There’s tons of nuanced analyses of Paxton’s actions and motives by pro-Paxton bloggers. We were the first ones to criticise Paxton but suddenly you can’t read.

So instead of wasting my time in the future, I’ll redirect you to existing posts and people who send asks in good faith will get an answer.

[teebeornotteebe]

Precious Daxton moments

Was thinking about what my favourite Daxton scenes have been over the course of the series and why. A quick list: 

5. ‘I don't fake kiss and tell’ This is the first time that Paxton forgives Devi. Unfortunately it won't be the last but in this case Paxton forgives her not because he loves her or has feelings for her that he recognizes. He forgives her because he's Paxton. This scene says so much to me about him, and it's validated when we see him repeatedly move past slights and attacks as the series progresses. Paxton is not a grudge holder. He's not vindictive and he certainly isn't vengeful. In any other teen show the high school jock would've probably exposed Devi's lies for what they are but Paxton takes the heat and keeps his mouth shut. They're cool he says. And then, the shows SHOWS us how cool they are. For a few seconds, they sit in silence, next to each other, there's an easy harmony between them. No need to fill the silence with inane small talk, they're natural and comfortable and cool with each other. That ease is my favourite thing about their relationship. 

4. ‘.. we used to hook up’ Paxton and Devi studying together at home is a VIBE. I love how one minute they’re exchanging playful banter about academics and then suddenly they’re slipping into a palpable state of sexual tension that turns the atmosphere electric. These two have chemistry and it shows. Paxton knows exactly what he's doing here, and Devi is simply no match for his charm. She's flustered and lost for words and damn it so are we! Though there's no kissing or making out, I find this scene very hot. More of this please. 

3.’ It feels like everyone in my life is just done with me’. Having just been humiliated in front of her peers, and rejected by her best friends, Devi is driven home by the only soul at that night that felt sympathy for her and acted on it. She's feeling the weight of her own actions and their consequences, she's almost resigned to being friendless and alone. It slips from her, in a moment of vulnerability and Paxton just takes it in. Then before she can gather her walls back up, and before he loses his nerve, he leans over and kisses her. Softly but firmly, chastely but there's no mistaking the desire behind it. It's not a coincidence that Devi in arguably her lowest moment socially ends up being rescued, comforted and desired by Paxton. We don’t see it explicitly until the next season but he’s the one who’s never ‘done with her’. 

2. I just wanted to say thank you. I love this scene for all the good stuff it gives us, the rain, wet Paxton, the killer soundtrack, the awesome kissing. All good, delightful stuff. But I really love this scene because Paxton says thank you to Devi for her help. We often talk about how selfish Devi can be, as a friend and as a daughter and how hurtful her self absorption has been to others. And it's true. And Devi is troubled by how frequently her actions screw things up. But Devi is also rarely acknowledged or recognized for her efforts when she's helpful or being selfless. And I love that Paxton direct and clear-headed, says THANK YOU FOR WHAT YOU DID FOR ME. I can only imagine how good that must have felt to Devi. Almost as good as the kissing I'd bet! 

1. ‘Who cares what people think, you do you Vishwakumar’  As season 1 unfolded, one of the primary things Devi struggled with was acceptance. Accepting what had happened to her, starting to come to terms with her trauma but also accepting herself, the things she wished she could improve on (her temper). Paxton gently calls her out on her frequent loss of control but without judgement, and then goes on to ask about the one thing she's particularly sensitive about that day, her ethnicity. Devi is also struggling to embrace all that makes her, including her culture, and Paxton, totally unknowingly encourages her to just be her. His use of her ethnic last name when Devi's been subjected to "David" all season long just hammers home the point. And THEN Paxton goes to leave, turns around and tells Devi that she in all her brown, ethnic glory, looked ‘cool in that outfit’. People, it's not just about the superficial compliment, as great as that is, it's about the acceptance of who and what Devi is, even if it was only in that small moment in time. What Devi hears Paxton say is “I see you and what I see is good”. She beams, her face lights up, gratitude and pleasure written all over it. And he smiles at her, and turns away, unware of what an impact he’s just had. Beautiful.

[forasecondtherewedwon]

Runaway Ride

Fandom: Never Have I Ever Pairing: Devi/Paxton Rating: T Word Count: 4889

Summary: Kamala gets herself into a pickle, Devi needs to go to her, and Paxton has a car. Problem-solving has never been so simple, but that's how it is when your new boyfriend is Paxton Hall-Yoshida. Throw in a little hand-holding on the highway and this family crisis might just be the best date Devi will ever have.

When they finally took a break from dancing—disconnecting hands from hips and shoulders, lips from lips—Devi stepped away in a dreamy headspace. She almost collided with Jonah, but he didn’t tell her to look where she was going, only offered a shrewd, indulgent smile.

Actually, everybody was treating her like that; every eye that caught hers on her way to the table where she’d left her stuff was unjudgmental, admiring, straight up fairy-godmotherly. Devi hadn’t received this much notice since her dad’s death and her subsequent paralysis. And those looks had been pitying, freaked out. Positive attention was new and cool and she wondered, as she grabbed her phone out of her turquoise clutch, whether her socials would show more of the same when she opened them. Would people have snapped stealthy pics of her and Paxton dancing now that she’d been vaulted into the pseudo-celebrity strata of the high school hierarchy? Would the Insta posts be captioned with hashtags of their ship name? Paxi? Daxton? Vishwall-Yoshumar?

Devi never got to check.

Unlocking her phone, she found two missed calls from her mother. Maybe two wouldn’t have seemed like a whole lot to someone else, but Devi knew that, in order for her mom to risk rudeness by stepping away from the company she was hosting at home not once but twice, she’d need to be pretty frantic. Two missed calls from Nalini Vishwakumar were the equivalent of six or seven from any other mother.

Skirting the edges of the gym as she headed away from DJ Humanoid—that nit-witted saboteur of slow dances—Devi was about to call her mom back when her screen changed to an incoming call from Kamala. She pressed her other hand to her ear and answered it.

“Hey. Do you know what’s going on with my mom? She called me twice and, honestly, she knows I’m at the d—”

“Devi, shut up. Sorry,” Kamala sighed. “But I may have kidnapped your history teacher and now I’m panicking a little.”

Devi stopped in her tracks.

“You did what? Why is the sound weird?”

As she was trying to identify the background noise coming from Kamala’s end, her eyes swept over the crowd of her classmates and landed on Fabiola’s. Her friend had been smiling, mid-sway as she held Eve from behind and chatted with Sasha, but it fell off her face like Devi off Dr. Jackson’s roof. Fab disentangled herself from her girlfriend and crossed the room to stand with Devi. She was frowning, silently asking for an explanation for Devi’s distress, but Devi didn’t really have one yet.

“We’re in his car on the highway,” her cousin was saying. “He was a little drunk, so I’m driving.”

Devi had imagined that Kamala was exaggerating, but no, this was really starting to sound like a kidnapping.

“You better be on hands-free right now,” she lectured. Then, because she wasn’t exactly a paragon of road safety herself—barely an hour ago, she’d walked right out in front of Paxton’s jeep—didn’t wait for confirmation. “What the hell happened? Context, Kamala!”

“Well, as soon as I snuck out of the house—”

“But why did you sneak out?!”

“Devi, I can’t talk about that right now!” Devi’s eyebrows shot up at the clear and abnormal hysteria in her cousin’s voice. “I ran out of the house,” Kamala continued, “totally directionless, and the first thing that popped into my head was Manish’s invitation for me to come to karaoke…”

“Ew, what the fuck, don’t call Mr. K that.”

What? Fab mouthed at her, but Devi shook her head.

“That is his name and what he asked me to call him. Anyway,” Kamala said, sounding strained, “I went to your school and met up with him and now I’m driving his car and I think I might have shut my sari in the car door, but I’m scared to pull over and check because if I stop the car, I’m going to have to confront things and I think I’d rather not do that yet.”

“Kamala,” Devi said in a heavy, careful voice. “You have to pull over. I totally get what you’re saying because it sounds like something I might do—minus the part where you kidnapped Mr. K—” Fabiola’s eyes went dramatically wide as she was adjusting her tiara. “—but this isn’t you. You don’t run away from your obligations and elope with my teachers!”

“Manish and I didn’t elope. It isn’t in any way romantic.”

“For sure though? It’s not?” Devi heard another voice in the car ask.

“Mr. K, back off! Kamala’s in the middle of a crisis!” she shouted. “And please be drunk enough to forget that I yelled at you.”

“Devi, what should I do?” Kamala asked, sounding desperate in a sad way now.

“Where are you?”

“I’m not sure.”

“Ok, well, which direction are you heading in?”

“Um, either north or south.”

“You’re a disaster,” Devi muttered.

“What was that?”

“Uh… I said, don’t drive any faster. Try to read the next sign you pass so you can tell me where you are.”

“Alright,” Kamala said.

Devi tilted her phone away from her mouth so her cousin wouldn’t hear her frustrated sigh. She locked eyes with Fabiola.

“Kamala panicked at her engagement dinner and ran off with Mr. K. They’re either headed for Mexico or Canada, but I’ll know more in a minute.”

Fab blinked.

“Wow.”

“I know. It’s a lot. And this is me talking,” Devi emphasized.

“I don’t know if you would do anything this big. Mainly because you don’t have a driver’s license.”

“True.”

“Santa Barbara in twenty-six miles,” Kamala said in her ear.

“Damn, you made good time.”

“The traffic was quite manageable.”

“Try to calm down a little and get off the highway when you can. Don’t go past Santa Barbara. I’m coming to talk you down in person,” Devi said. “Oh, and don’t answer any of my mom’s calls; she’ll just stress you out.”

“That doesn’t seem very responsible. How about I send her a text when I stop to let her know I’m ok?”

Devi rolled her eyes.

“Suit yourself.”

“Thank you, Devi. But how will you get here?”

“Let me worry about that. Text me when you stop so I know exactly where I’m going.”

“I will.”

“’K. I’ll see you in a bit.”

Devi hung up and sighed massively, slumping into the wall and feeling a streamer crumple against her back. She and Fabiola stared at each other.

“What are you gonna do?” Fab asked.

“Be the hero my family needs, but not the one they deserve.”

“Are you misquoting Batman to justify doing something reckless?”

“First of all, rescuing Kamala isn’t reckless, and second of all, the movie isn’t called Batman, it’s The Dark Knight. Young-ish Christian Bale, hello.”

Fabiola pointed a finger at her own face.

“Young-ish out-of-touch lesbian, hello. At least I was close.”

Devi sighed again while Fab smiled sadly at her in obvious sympathy.

“It’s after ten at night. How am I gonna get to Santa Barbara?”

“Assuming you’re not going to ask your mom—”

“No.”

“Then you need a ride.”

“You need a ride? I’ll drive you.”

It was Paxton, walking up and tentatively taking Devi’s hand while darting uncertain glances at Fabiola. Devi felt her entire face light up.

“You don’t want to know where or why?” she teased.

His expression said those were insignificant details. Wow. Devi’d never had a fantasy where Paxton joined forces with her, bounty hunter-style, to track down a flighty Kamala, but this felt oddly romantic. Passionate even? They’d see where the night took them.

“You wouldn’t wanna leave the dance unless it was serious,” Paxton reasoned. “So, I’ll drive you. You wanna go now?”

“I guess we better. Lemme just grab my…”

“I’ll get it,” Fab said, raising a hand like the nerd she was as she volunteered.

She darted back through the dancers to grab Devi’s things and Devi watched their classmates part for their Cricket Queen. She was so proud of Fab. Also, she felt kinda bad for ditching such a momentous occasion. But Kamala needed her, and would totally do the same for her if she ever went off the deep end and kidnapped a dude while fleeing a proposal. Not that Devi could see herself fleeing a proposal (she glanced at Paxton as she thought this, then quickly away, thinking, Way too soon!). Carrying out a kidnapping? With a sufficiently convincing pro-and-con list, anything was possible.

“Basically, Kamala freaked and drove to Santa Barbara with a drunken Mr. K,” Devi said, because Paxton might not have asked to be informed, but she wanted him to know what he was getting himself into. Beyond that, she wanted to give him the chance to say, No way, Devi. I came here to look hot and dance up on you, nothing more.

“Oh shit,” was what he said.

“Damn right, oh shit. You still want to drive? This is going to take a while.”

She should probably have felt guilty about trying to subtly persuade him with her eyes, but not only was Paxton the least complicated option, he was also her first choice. If she maintained eye contact long enough, Devi figured it might trigger some kind of boyfriend override that made going for a long drive at night just as appealing as staying here and dancing with her butt pressed thrillingly to his groin when the teacher-chaperones weren’t looking.

“As long as we can hit up the bathrooms first. I was going to, but then I got talking to Trent, and then Marcus was doing a handstand…”

“Definitely,” Devi assured him. “Good call. Empty the tank. Oh, actually, that reminds me… how much gas do you have in your jeep? If we need to stop at a gas station, I’ll have to factor that in to the ETA I give Kamala.”

Paxton shook his head at her, smiling in what she liked to think was affectionate amusement.

“I filled it up on the way here. I needed a minute to, uh…” To her epic astonishment, he ducked his head self-consciously, cheeks pinking. “You know. Get my shit together. Up here.” He tapped his temple with his index finger. “I wanted to show up for you, like, completely. You know?”

Right as Devi was at dangerously high risk of sagging to the floor in blissful bonelessness, Fabiola sprang to her side, shoving the rest of her possessions at her.

“Ok, ok!” Devi said, harried.

She had to dump it all on the bathroom counter a minute later anyway, but after she’d done her pre-road trip pee, she came out and gave Fab a better thank-you.

“Your Highness,” Paxton told Fabiola with a nod.

Fab nodded back, smiling wryly.

“Prosecutor.”

“I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship,” Devi assessed, “but we gotta go! Say congrats to Eve for me again!”

“Sure. Drive safe!”

Devi and Paxton pushed through the doors together, striding quickly with his hand wrapped around hers. In the parking lot, she glanced sideways to see him digging his keychain out of his front pocket.

“Oh,” she said, “so I wasn’t just feeling that you were very happy to dance with me.”

Until they got into the jeep, it was too dark to see whether she’d gotten him to blush again, but she liked to think that she had. He was definitely smiling.

They got in and Devi carefully tucked her skirt around her legs, mind on Kamala’s cautionary tale. At least it was until Paxton leaned forward to shrug out of his jacket and she saw his shoulder muscles jump beneath his fitted button-down, his narrow black tie swinging forward. Dang. Fifty shades of Hall-Yoshida.

“Santa Barbara?” Paxton double-checked once he was settled behind the wheel, steering out of the student lot.

“Santa Barbara.”

Until they were on the highway and heading out of Los Angeles, Devi did her best to keep her worry about Kamala’s situation contained to the way she flapped her phone against her thigh. Usually, she was stressing about the problems right in front of her (when she wasn’t blatantly ignoring them, only to have that approach bite her in the ass later), but with whatever was going on with Kamala, she kinda had to look ahead.

Had she wanted Kamala to get engaged to Prashant that badly? Well, the best thing about Prashant was that you never knew when having additional hot relatives would be to your benefit. (Devi was already hoping that Mr. K would get over the more nerve-wracking elements of this night and just remember having fun with her stunning cousin… and that this could possibly translate into at least a month of generous grades, if she could somehow spin these shenanigans as an intentional blind date arranged by herself.) However, an engaged Kamala was wholly different from a married Kamala. She wouldn’t be around to watch nonsensical episodes of Riverdale, or be duped into hijinks, or listen to Devi when her mom was too tired, or bitch about her shitty lab-mates in exchange for sitting through Devi bitching about her complicated feelings on the subject of Aneesa dating her ex. She wouldn’t live with them anymore, and the family that had begun to miraculously fill out after her dad had died would be back down to three. And the other two members of it would be old (Sorry, Mom, she thought) and not at all prepared to champion her dating life or the cleavage-accentuating formal dress currently buoying it.

So, yeah, Devi was looking ahead—eyes glazed over as the yellow lights of cars slipped around them to prevent her vision from fully adjusting to the blue-black sky—and feeling more than a little nervous and scared of the Kamala-shaped hole she’d have in her life if her dazzling, dorky cousin left her house for one she might eventually fill with the most beautiful children the world had ever seen.

Thankfully, Paxton was there. It startled her when he took one hand off the wheel and felt across her lap to grab hers, loosely interlacing their fingers. Devi quit hitting her phone against her leg. She sent off their updated location to Kamala and then let her phone fall flat.

“Did she say where she was?” Her boyfriend’s voice was quiet in the car and she realized for the first time that her head had been too crammed with thoughts to put on any music.

“Carpinteria State Beach. Do you know the exit?”

“We’ll find it.”

“And if you want me to drive while you rest on the way back…”

Paxton laughed.

“No way. Safety first.”

“Says the guy driving one-handed,” Devi countered, not that she was eager to surrender the hand warming hers.

He turned his head just long enough to shoot her a look.

“Whoa, pal, eyes on the road!” she said. (She had a half-baked plan to call her boyfriend ‘pal’ a few times and thereby de-weaponize the word in a memory that still felt like a fading bruise, an almost-gone sore spot in who she and Paxton were before they were openly a them.)

“Sorry,” he said, staring out the windshield again. He grinned. “You look gorgeous.”

“Really?”

“So gorgeous.” Paxton’s voice was softer this time, the underlying laugh it had carried since she’d offered to drive his jeep drained out of it. It was nearly a sigh.

“Thanks. So do you.”

“You know, I feel fucking awful for hitting you with my car, but I still think I mighta felt worse if I’d walked in and seen you dancing with somebody else.”

Devi twisted their hands, touching the back of his to her thigh so she was sandwiching it between leg and palm for a moment, aiming for reassuring.

“I wanna say I would never be that flaky, but my previous offenses speak for themselves.”

“So does doing this with me.”

“Uh,” she droned, “to recap, you left a fun thing to do a huge favour for me. You’re talking about it like this is my act of redemption. I feel like if you examine it for a sec, you’ll see how I’m actually kind of a dick for accepting your help.”

“I want us to be together,” he said bluntly. “Here we are. Together.”

“It’s that simple?”

“I don’t see why it can’t be.”

“Huh. I think you’re really gonna be good for my tendency to overcomplicate a situation.”

Paxton laughed and unthreaded his fingers from Devi’s. But it wasn’t to release her for pointing out that this date was, in actual fact, the coordinated response to a family crisis; his fingertips moved lightly over her palm, momentarily trapped when her fingers flinched inward in reaction to how it tickled, then traced along the thin skin of her inner wrist. He wasn’t trying to pull away. He was lingering. Though his touch when he sunk his hand into her hair or drew her closer by her waist had always been fairly gentle, it had often had the faint aggression of hastiness to it, clutching her as they made out in her room, always listening for footsteps in the hallway. How Paxton touched her now was pure, exploratory tenderness. It made the hairs on the back of Devi’s neck stand up as a wave of shivers rushed up her spine and crested somewhere around the nape of her neck.

He must’ve felt that wave break, the foamy aftereffects in some tic of her arm or quickening of her pulse while his fingers skimmed gradually up the inside of her arm towards her elbow, because he chanced another quick glance at her.

“That feels good,” she explained.

Paxton looked forward, nodding slowly, and shifted in the driver’s seat.

“Good.”

She thought it must have felt good for him too, knowing he’d made her shiver.

—

The miles were flicking past for Paxton—another, another, another, as fast and steady as the dashed lines painted between the lanes, his arms cutting the water on the front crawl. He wanted Devi, beside him, to believe that he was paying attention to his driving, but he was honestly kinda zoned out. Like that time he’d swum to San Diego, he let his body go through the motions (in this case, twitching the wheel, putting on cruise control when traffic thinned so he didn’t have to focus on the pedals) while his mind floated freely.

Where it floated was to his girlfriend.

At ten years old, he’d been the last kid in his swim class to jump off the 10m board. It was optional—a treat after getting water up their noses turning somersaults below the surface and doing egg-beater legs in between—but all the other boys in the group had done it eagerly, shrieking on their way down to sloppy pencil dives. Paxton had climbed the stairs all the way to the top easily enough, even stepped onto the wide platform, bordered by metal railings and rough under his bare feet. He’d walked out to the end and frozen to find himself so high above the pool.

He hadn’t feared the water, he’d feared the air. Being so exposed on his own at the end of the diving board. Eventually, he’d retreated, then surprised the coach waiting down at the poolside by turning around and taking the jump at a run. Few memories felt as good as the sensation of giving himself back to gravity and letting it reunite him with the water. He’d just had to get past the exposure.

Same thing tonight, going to find Devi at the dance. Holding her hand in his had been him reaching the platform, but when they stood together, just inside the school’s doors, Paxton hadn’t known for sure whether he would take the leap or retreat. And not just for a running start this time, but in a way that turned his sixteen-year-old present self back into one of those nervous ten-year-olds who wimped out and had to take the coward’s way down—descending each step they’d climbed. He might not have run, and yet he hadn’t needed to back up and race into their relationship either. Momentum hadn’t carried them inside for everyone they knew to see them. It had been a calm approach, even if he’d been shaking on the inside when he saw Trent staring at them.

So maybe Paxton had learned something in the last six years, or maybe it was harder to feel exposed with somebody right next to you.

She really did look gorgeous, like he’d said, and because he didn’t want her to worry about his focus if she spotted him gazing at the side of her face while she texted her cousin, the glances he stole were of the knee region. Her dress’s overlay sparkled when the high lights of eighteen-wheelers passed them and the specific teal of the dress itself reminded him of a river he’d swum in once during an out-of-state family vacation. Natural and deep and fresh, and exasperating for his parents because he’d accidentally doggy-paddled himself all the way to a small waterfall and hadn’t heard them calling him back for dinner around the campfire. He felt all that about Devi, except for hoping for a different reaction from his parents when they met her.

Holy shit. He was going to have to introduce his girlfriend to his embarrassing hippy parents. But then, she’d already met Rebecca, so maybe they were set? A sister’s approval should count for a ton.

No, no, no, Devi would have to meet his parents. He was doing this. The two of them were doing this. Paxton exhaled determinedly through his nose and made himself concentrate on the remaining miles he needed to cover. His mind, anyway. His hand continued to stroke and search, covering his girlfriend’s hand with his until he had her fingers tucked away protectively under his own, and then caressing all the way up to the crook of her elbow so suddenly that she made a noise between a laugh and a yelp because he’d unintentionally tickled her. Man, she was cute.

The very end of their journey required the most concentration from Paxton; he finally took back his hand to have both on the wheel as he steered them off the highway and Devi’s got lonely or something, because it chased across to where he was sitting and landed on his thigh. His jaw clenched. He could feel the heat of her palm through his pantleg and congratulated himself on being a driving legend for driving smoothly to where they needed to park for beach access.

Devi had a pink sweater that she put on, but Paxton grabbed his jacket out of the back as well in case she needed it. It was almost midnight and a breeze rolled up off the water, rippling his tie and swishing Devi’s dress. He didn’t have to ask what they should do next—there was just one other car parked nearby and Devi’s cousin was already standing outside of it, raising a hand to wave sheepishly as they got out of his jeep.

“Here,” he said, holding out his jacket for his girlfriend to put her arms through the sleeves. “You guys talk. I’ll be down at the beach.”

Devi turned her back to him as she accepted the jacket, but she glanced over her shoulder with a look of concern.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. You’ll want privacy. I need to stretch my legs anyway.”

“Just don’t swim away, ok?” she requested. “I don’t think I can handle more than one rescue mission per night.”

Paxton could tell by her expression that it wasn’t entirely a joke. He grinned and gripped his lapels, now on Devi, reeling her in.

“I promise. You’d probably take the opportunity to try to drive the jeep home, and I don’t want to risk that.”

“Me committing grand theft auto or me getting hurt?”

“I bet they tested you for smartness,” he said, “but you think they have a test for being a smartass? You’d score high, Vishwakumar.”

“I know, I know, you don’t want me to get hurt.”

She was so infuriatingly flippant, rolling her big brown eyes at him.

“That’s right,” Paxton said plainly. There he was, up on the platform again.

Devi straightened his tie and let her hand rest flat on his chest. He remembered how overwhelmed she’d looked the first time he’d placed her palm there, right on his skin. Even now, it almost made him laugh.

“Ok,” she said, and he was surrendering himself to the sweet strength of gravity, propelled down to the beach while Devi stayed to talk to Kamala.

—

Devi had heard that there were tidepools here, and she was nervous about stepping into one and spearing some aquatic animal on her high heel. Well, she couldn’t magically improve her night vision, but she could take her shoes off and remove the possibility of impalement. They dangled from her fingers as she picked her way down to the beach.

Her boyfriend was sitting in the sand, staring out at the ocean. It just looked so romantic—with the stars the sky was too bright to see at home, and the waves, and the back of Paxton’s white shirt in the moonlight—that Devi decided to slip into the scene without saying anything at all.

A mistake. Paxton gasped and jumped. Apparently, he hadn’t heard her over the noise of the water.

“Sorry, sorry!” she said.

He sighed and smiled, getting to his feet.

“How’d it go?”

“I think it went well. She was feeling calm enough to drive, so she’s on her way home now. She’s gonna cover for me until we get back.”

“That’s good… but what about Mr. Kulkarni?”

“He was passed out in the passenger’s seat,” Devi stated. “I guess he’s kind of a lightweight? Kamala said she’s going to drive back to our school and leave him and his car in the parking lot. She’s planning to call my mom for a ride home. If it were me, I think I’d take the bus and try to sneak back into the house as quietly as possible, but Kamala still has a lot to learn about how to thoroughly dodge your problems.”

“And maybe about how to climb to the second floor of your house from the outside?” Paxton suggested with a meaningful smirk.

She did her best to return it, but the odds were that it didn’t look nearly as sexy on her. Then again, she had moonlight and midnight and well-displayed cleavage on her side.

“How’d you learn to do that so quietly anyway?” Devi asked, tossing her shoes to the sand and stepping forward to boldly wrap her arms around Paxton’s waist.

He’d had his hands in his pockets, but as soon as she’d begun to move towards him, he’d pulled them out. His arms encircled her, his hands on the back of his own black jacket. Although Devi wanted to offer him the jacket back—he felt slightly chilly through his shirt—she didn’t want the two of them to separate. Besides, body heat was a thing. This was practically what it was for. So Devi just pressed herself closer, breathing the scent of the ocean and Paxton’s fading cologne.

“Trent,” he said.

“Yeah, actually, that checks out.”

Were there boundaries between warming someone up while having a conversation and just hugging them? It wasn’t clear to Devi, but it felt good when they both went quiet for a while. She stood unevenly on the cold sand and listened to the thud of Paxton’s heart.

“You never said yes,” he said eventually, quietly.

“Yes to what?”

“I told you I came to the dance as your boyfriend and you never actually agreed to be my girlfriend. We kinda just started making out.”

Devi lifted her cheek from his chest so she could look at him. He didn’t appear disappointed, more like he was making an observation. Maybe he’d been reflecting, out here in the dark, while she and Kamala had talked.

“In my books, that’s an obvious yes,” she said, grinning. “What more do you need?”

She could see him trying not to smile.

“A little atmosphere would be nice,” Paxton said. “Maybe a long drive, or the beach. A full moon. Romance me, Vishwakumar.”

Devi vibrated with silent laughter. Or her heart was just beating really, really freaking hard.

“Sounds like you’ve got some pretty big expectations there.”

“And stars,” he added. “There should be a shitload of stars.”

With that, he took one hand off her back to point far above them. Devi tipped her head back, the light of the stars a friendly blur as she tried to pick one to settle on, just one. Paxton’s face coming forward to hover over hers blotted them out. Her boyfriend kissed her, light and ghosting and then firm and slow.

“On the other hand,” he said, pulling back a little, “I think we were onto something with the making out.”

Devi smiled and dug her toes into the sand to make herself taller, lips at the ready and realigned with his.

“We did set a precedent.”

[thebeautysurrounds]

THIS CONTAINS SLIGHT SPOILERS FOR NEVER HAVE I EVER S2 READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

This is quite long I had a lot to unpack.

Since watching the 2nd season of Never Have I Ever a few things have been bothering me about the way people are reacting to Devi, and the show overall but mostly Devi. First of all she’s what a sophomore in high school? and she’s doing this all while being the only brown girl (up until kinda the middle of S2) and still dealing with grief and having absolutely no idea who she is yet. To me outside of being an honor roll student she is not doing things FOR HER she is doing this to appease her mother. Who while she means well pushing Devi to succeed to certain extremes which if Devi shows the slightest behavior of fucking up her mother makes harsh comments instead of understanding Devi is a literal teenager and needs room for fucking up.

Is Devi hella unreasonable at times? YES does she often times act strictly on impulse without a second thought…YES. But as a girl who virtually has no one outside of her friends who also are staring to drift from her and get into their first relationships themselves and have their own activities she essentially is left to navigate the world and her teenage angst alone. While I will give Nalini credit for all the work and time she has put in to not only being a single mother and navigating her own grief but also being a working mother who is a doctor and quite possibly has her own struggles with being a brown women in that filed. My problem lies with her not being able to balance or even let go of a strong arm parenting style that mostly focuses on Devi’s fuck up more than her accomplishments and makes comments on how her fuck ups that haven’t even happened yet. I’m not sure Nalini even realizes Devi is at the very very top of her class because I truly believe (after S1) even though Nalini apologized to Devi Nalini has a ‘hoping for the best but expecting the worst’ attitude when it comes to Devi and that’s in the for front of her mind so much she doesn’t realize Devi goes above and beyond not only for herself but to make her mother proud of her all for her mother to just not acknowledge that.

Now with Devi’s characterization I get where some people are coming from on saying Devi shouldn’t have been “boy crazy” or that they “ruined her character development” but here’s my problem those critiques while valid and your allowed to have those opinions…It’s just not really realistic and let me tell you why like I stated Devi is what a sophomore in high school and she has made it a abundantly clear her parents forbid her to date cause it’s school and extra curriculars only. Which will lead to a good college which thus will turn into a good career. While that’s all well and good. I don’t think y’all realize the FOMO of being in high school and growing up with very strict parents, and wanting to have your first relationship. Wanting to be an actual teenager and not wanting to think about 3-4 years down the line which most teenagers don’t/can’t visualize cause it’s not the right now. Devi wants to have those experiences and there’s nothing wrong with that does she go about it the right way…not exactly but y’all act like YOU have never been a teenager and said and done awful things out of anger or just pure immature stupidity. For the boy crazy part Devi is literally having her first feelings and experiences with boys she has 0 clue what she is doing outside of probably books, tv, movies and what her friends assume they know (even though they mean well) the only person Devi would remotely trusts is gone, and she can’t ask her mother cause her mother would honestly probably shut her down and make her feel guilty for even wanting to start having her first experiences with boys. Y’all have such a warped view of not only real teenagers and high school aged kids but also fictional ones. Y’all are so use to shows having protagonist being awful or starting off kinda okay but then their character turns awful and remains that way. What some of you fail to realize is actual teenagers and “teenagers” in shows can/are VERY morally grey. 

Should Devi have been honest and possibly communicated to both Ben and Paxton that she has some sort of feelings for them both..possibly but Devi is a teenager do you think she is having a in depth analysis and talk with herself (outside of a pros and cons list) about what infatuation versus lust versus genuine connection versus romantic attraction looks like probably not. Let’s also analyze how she literally goes from being in her eyes forgettable to being noticed and even though it’s not talked about in the show explicitly she honestly probably struggles with self esteem/self image issues. To go from being a girl who to her no one cares about/notices to one who is getting the attention of two boys who are in Devi’s eyes attractive in their own right. She is so consumed with two guys ACTUALLY being interested in her that she fails to realize she is/and will hurt them both, Do I think Paxton is genuinely attracted to Devi…maybe. But I’m still on the fence about their relationship to me in the beginning I felt Paxton felt Devi is just another meaningless high school fling that he will forget about once he gets to college but to Devi here’s this guy who is “popular” very attractive and he pays attention to her is she looking at the semantics of the situation and how Paxton is more than likely just using her and is only engaging with Devi to get a passing grade and to basically give her the superficial experience of a “high school boyfriend” no she’s not she’s looking at it like here’s this guy who is attractive and he wants to be with someone like me. But do I also believe Devi in S1 was using Paxton and then fell for him DEFINITELY but I will give credit to Paxton for trying at a real relationship with Devi and I hope he will try to be more open and honest.

Do I think Ben likes Devi I honestly do, While the insensitive jokes (exchanged between both) should be discussed I think Ben over time started to see Devi as a girl who finally saw him not the rich, annoying, know it all. But in his view Devi and him are on equal playing fields because they are both overly driven smart individuals and when she said yes to going out with him it was probably the first time he felt like a girl saw the real him. While Ben too more than likely struggles with abandonment issues him dating Devi in a way made him feel like this was the first time he could actual be happy about something cause it was something he actually wanted and not something he just did to earn points in others books and impress people he genuinely got something on his own and that he was actually happy not a front he put on. To me Ben’s abandonment issues come out even more than in S1 when he tells Devi why he’s so hurt and it’s the night of the party when she runs after Paxton (who he sees has it all) and Devi doesn’t “choose him” Do I think Ben and Devi should date cause they share some form of the same trauma no. But again Devi is not use and doesn’t even know what to do with the attention of two people. Again is Devi looking at the semantics of her relationship with Ben…No. I don’t think Devi even realizes she’s quite literally hurting two people cause we could also discuss how Ben and Paxton probably have had other flings and relationships without a second thought while Devi having no relationship experiences and this is territory for her and she has no idea what she is doing or how to properly navigate this situation.

I’m almost done with this long ass rant I promise but it’s two more things I want to make light of/point out I don’t think anyone really gives Devi credit for still going to therapy, loosing a parent is unbearable especially loosing one as young as Devi did, especially when you feel the only parent that truly understood and supported you is gone. Devi doing things that are impulsive and unreasonable because she quite literally has no guidance her mother is only consumed with Devi not making the family “look bad” Devi’s grief is so heavy and she feels she’s going at it alone because her mother doesn’t take genuine time to talk to her. Now was Devi “stalking” her mother extremely inappropriate yes for sure but do Nalini and her need to communicate better for Devi to understand that her mother wasn’t dating sure even if Nalini was on a date their should have been communication there. Devi will probably never stop grieving her father hell he literally came to her in a dream to tell her she deserves better when it came to “dating” Paxton and Nalini will probably never stop grieving her husband but she deserves happiness too and I believe if Devi and Nalini were both honest with each other her slowly dating again wouldn’t have been a problem. Another point I wanna make connecting Devi, Paxton, and Ben is they all have this view that the grass is greener on the other side and that’s just not the case. Ben is jealous of Paxton cause he feels he has the “Perfect life” but in actuality Paxton is extremely flawed and honestly insecure his own family doesn’t believe in him and he knows people only like him because he is attractive, while Paxton looks at Ben like this, while annoying Ben is smart, rich, and no one ever questions Ben’s intelligence but in actuality Ben is very lonely and has spent most of his life alone or being raised by other people which has caused him to put on a huge front to people and often times overcompensate in his social life, and Devi looks at other girls like they have it all and have 0 struggles or problems (I.e her views on Anissa) but Devi fails to realize thy also struggle, are insecure, is struggling with mental illness, and don’t have themselves figured out, and Devi is looking at this man her mom is “dating” as if he’s taking something away but In actuality he is experiencing his own losses. All in all Never Have I Ever gets teenage angst and messy problematic morally grey teenagers right and the fact that y’all beg for more “flawed or problematic” characters and when you get them you don’t like that they are just that it’s odd to me it seems like y’all only want problematic characters if it’s how you see fit.

TL;DR: Y’all need to stop acting like y’all weren’t gross annoying and had fuck ups as teenagers y’all should really stop pretending like teenagers in real and some of us as teens didn’t have/engage in relationships that weren’t good but we learned from it while this show isn’t real it shows y’all will scream let people fuck up and let them grow but you don’t actually mean it. Devi is a teenager and requires room to grow she even admits she acts out and is impulsive but y’all act like she’s supposed to have the self awareness of a 60 year old.

[quarterfromcanon]

I’m curious to know what you think Ben wanted w that timeslot! Honestly I think it was just for show

I totally agree! 

~ spoilers under the cut ~

At least as of right now, allowing for more information in Season 3, it’s my headcanon that he wrote his name on that roster for Devi to see. I’ve been sketching out the flow of emotions and events in my head, and I fact checked them with the episodes tonight. Basically, it goes:

I) The episode immediately after the boys find out Devi was dating both of them is the one from Paxton’s perspective. During 2.03, Ben sees Devi patting Paxton’s shoulder in the hallway and telling him, “You got this.” He pulls a face and subtly shakes his head. Ben also observes Devi helping Paxton secure an opportunity for a test retake. We get a quick return of Samberg’s voiceover to make sure the viewers are aware that Ben’s taking note of the apparently mended fences between Paxton and Devi so soon after the accident at the party. We’re also told plainly how much it hurts him to see them together this way. 

II) Aneesa flirts with him when they first meet in 2.04 and Ben reciprocates, a surprising connection that night which was likely sweetened by the fact that Devi was present to witness it all. He gains additional satisfaction in the form of the fake tattoo, which he uses to make a point about long term commitment and lies. 

III) When Devi and Paxton are studying with flashcards toward the start of 2.05, Ben and Aneesa come through the doorway laughing and chatting. However, the smile fades from Ben's face as soon as he clocks that Devi and Paxton are sitting together. He's still glaring from the supply table while Aneesa stops to talk to them. Ben calls to Aneesa shortly thereafter, loudly enough that he can draw her away from their company and also be overheard by both Devi and Paxton. He makes sure to talk about Aneesa’s tent and his as a collective, heavily implying they will be sticking close to each other at this relay.

IV) By the time Paxton talks about why he can’t attend the event, Ben has stopped eavesdropping. He’s fully immersed in his conversation with Aneesa at this point. Ergo, as far as he’s presently concerned, there’s every likelihood that Paxton will be there for the relay as well (IF they allow last-minute additions to the list of team members, that is. I’m not certain about the rules.). 

We’ve already been told that Ben and Paxton have no social or academic overlap in S2 outside of Facing History, which means there’s a good chance he doesn’t know Devi was *appointed* to Paxton as his tutor. Just going off what he’s seen in passing at school, perhaps he thinks this was a mutually agreed upon thing because they’re back on good terms. It might look like they’re close enough/mended enough in their relationship for Devi to ask Paxton to join the relay as a favor (or at least trade him favor-for-favor in exchange for the tutoring). Paxton would make a logical addition to the team - especially considering Devi’s self-acknowledged limited social circle - given that he is a jock and it sounds like he’s already attended the event during a previous school year. Which leads us to

V) Ben arrives early on the day of the relay with the looming possibility that he’ll have to see Devi and Paxton being chummy outside of school now, too. And there’s one of Paxton’s best friends, Trent, assembling and then announcing what he has dubbed the “Spurt Yurt.” A quick scan of the clipboard shows all the popular kids are nabbing a spot. Marcus, Jonah, Zoe, Shira, and even Trent himself all have one. It’s not such a leap to think Paxton would sign up as well, if present. OR to worry that Devi might sign them up to “study” in the “Study Hall” in the hopes of rekindling their romance. Ben gets the jump. He signs a line before either have arrived. Thus, if one of them does end up adding their name later, Devi will be pretty much guaranteed to catch that his is already there. It’s a win either way, really, in terms of saving face/getting a little payback. If Paxton does show up to the event, Ben has beaten them to a prime slot AND ensured he can’t be accused of registering in retaliation. If Paxton does not attend, Devi will still be there and get a taste of what it’s like to see her ex carrying on with their love life. 

Maybe the fleeting hint of the old D/B dynamic when he helps her with stretches is even in direct relation to this. There’s no sign of Paxton yet or any mention of him so, temporarily relieved and knowing he has that failsafe in place, Ben’s feeling at least a *teensy* bit less prickly toward Devi for a little while. 

I don’t think he ever actually intended to hook up with Aneesa, nor do I think she’d have gone that far with him anyway. It’s still pretty early in their flirtation and she’s talked about how inexperienced she is. The only part I haven’t quite been able to guess is how he intended to proceed once the moment arrived. Invite Aneesa inside, if she was interested, but keep things somewhere in the PG to PG-13 range at most? Content himself with obtaining a slot but never actually show up for the scheduled time? I can’t be sure, but the fandom will no doubt come through working out the specifics in fic. What I do know is...

VI) When plans change and he and Aneesa use the tent to hide, Ben looks *directly* at the relay track as if hoping Devi might circle around in time to see this happening.

[kirwani]

Why do people keep on saying that Paxton and Devi can’t end up together because that would mean another hot popular guy who treated her bad get’s the girl again.... That’s basically what this season, especially his episode, tried to tell us. That guys like that often get labelled as only that. Because they’re hot nothing else should be expected from them. It’s kinda like reversed body-shaming and I’m glad this season adressed that. I’m just a bit sad that the point didn’t really come across since people still think it’s only about his looks. 

Paxton was really trying. He always stood up to Devi in S01, never really bullied her like Ben did. Ok Devi has had a crush on him since forever and it has all to do with his look but last season and especially this season she really got to know him. They even were friends and she still liked him. So it’s not all about the looks. 

Paxton not wanting to PDA them in the end was perfectly understandable. I mean it took him only a WEEK from them kissing to him saying he wanted to be her boyfriend. It took me 2 months to ask my girlfriend if she wanted to go public and be my girlfriend. lol. Give the guy some slack. Devi really hurtled him, made him unsure of everything he once was. 

And it’s not like Devi herself is a sweet angel. She has done some horrible things this and last season. Used Paxton for a rumour and cheated on him, so I think considering he definitely isn’t the evil guy just because he’s popular, hot and a man. They both did things wrong and are both sorry for them. And I really hope we’ll be able to explore them more and this storyline. It doesn’t have to be a cliche.  

As for Ben and Devi, I see what they’re trying to do but I just don’t feel it... except for the kinda forced longing looks I feel like they’re better as friends. I kinda get a brother/sister vibe hahaha. I know it’s more than that but that’s just how I feel. 

And I hate how Ben is been labelled as the “good guy”, I mean he’s done horrible things. Bullied her, and others. He’s jealous, often bragging (i mean the scene were Devi said everything that annoys here about Ben was spot on, get out of my head giiiiirllll). He was even pretty upset when Aneesa ruined his chances of winning the trial. Good thing he didn’t act on it but I find this pretty problematic. He’s also such a hypocrite. I mean in S1 he cheated on his girlfriend with Devi and he broke up with her and then like 5 minutes later he asked Devi to be his girlfriend. DOUCHE. Yet he never got any shit about that and instead he plays the biggest victim in the triangle storyline. I just-- ugh. Also, stop bleaching your teeth. #Rossgeller. But I go think his relationship with Aneesa kinda felt more natural. He just works better in the no-drama department I feel. And I think with Devi it’s maybe too much drama and more insecurities. Idk. I just feel like there really isn’t a “better” guy here. 

Anyways overall I thought this season got really good. Loved Paxton’s episode with Gigi as a voiceover. It was only fair that we got to know his storyline as well. 

Loved Devi and her mom. And I loved how they called Devi out on all her bad behaviour and linked it to the hurt she’s feeling. That’s so relatable and really good writing. Got me all emo!

Also yay for the LGBTQ+ storlyines and characters and how it all got handled. 

Sorry for the rant. 

[egyptian-sun-god]

Never Have I Ever (mildly critical lens)

1. BIG THING. NHIE is not a show that was made directed at me. Yes it has similarities with my heritage as Indian but I am not American. Not born there nor raised. I am a diaspora Tamilian though, and my schools throughout most of my life have had very little Indians and even fewer Tamilians in them. Usually its just me.  So while there is overlap, Devi and I would have innately different experiences and worldviews.

2. Why is her last name Vishwakumar and her Dad’s name Mohan? Where that coming from. Correct me if I’m wrong, but most to all Tamil people use patronymic's right? Like am I right or am I tripping? Someone correct me. I checked Mindy Kaling’s bio and she took her father’s last name so I might be tripping? 

3. Okay straight off the bat, Devi annoyed the hell outta me. Like no joke...I really dislked Devi. But she’s a traumatized teenager who has no common sense and too much hormones. I’ve seen ppl like her so I’m fairly happy we have a flawed and messed up portrayal of a POC and doesn’t feed into the idea of perfection. But also Devi’s mom is suprisingly lenient to Devi’s disrespect man. like I see why but woowowowowo....she’s uncharacteristically tolerant sometimes. 

Now even though I get that Devi is supposed to be flawed and unlikeable. Because she is immensely selfish and bitchy with shitty communication skills. Devi’s friends forgive her waaay to fast. Like ladies, what are you aiming for? SAINTHOOD? Like at least let her grovel a little bit for being such a bitch. 

4. Love interest. Y’all heard me. WHY THE FUCK IS BOTH OF HER INTERESTS WHITE or at least definitely white passing. Like they did Paxton dirty man. Like was it too much? Was it too much to wish for Devi to have more Indian friends or like an Indian/POC love interest? I feel personally that it is such a weird precedent that has been set with POC centric love stories. And this definitely should be a critic that has come up before. 

You know which love stories resonated with me? Nalini and Mohan. Because it represented the possibility of like marrying someone (going off the assumption they were arranged to be married) and falling in love after marriage. A very real scenario for many many couples. Kamala’s entire shenanigan with Steve and Prasanth and having to choose between the uncertain boyfriend situation but losing family but keeping family and going with an arranged marriage. Also props to Kaling for not demonizing arranged marriages. Please please let season 2 explore Kamala’s struggle more. Hell even that one off thing with Eleanor and the tech crew boy was funny. 

5. Kamala’s whole character was many vibes. Because counting down and stressing about marriage is such a goddamn relatable feeling. I ain’t that much younger than Kamala and let me tell you the anticipation/fear is REAL. And like her talking in Ganesh puja and like weighting the options of being a social outcast or going with the arranged marriage and with the hope that like you’ll find someone cool.

6. I don’t like how Devi tries to reject her Indian culture and I really really hope they develop that next season or something and get her to find a balance. Because at the end of that season she did get a good talking to about trying to be Indian enough or too Indian and finding that balance but it doesn’t feel like she’s finding that balance and her being jealous of the other Indian girl does not bode well for me. 

ALSO THEY FUCKING MISSED OUT SO BAD. You make a series about a Tamil American girl and you don’t name drop any famous stars. Thala Thalapathy, Superstar??? VJS?? Surya? Dhanush? Nobody? Why? Like Devi doesn’t know them...makes sense. But like Kamala is from town right? She has to have carried some of that. Like that scene when she called them for a movie right? Why not name drop some famous ass classic like Baasha or Sachein or Roja? Like a cool nod to the Tamil kids out there watching this series to see parts of their culture and language included. Like even the soundtrack and songs have no Tamil songs? Like not even one for the heck of it?? WHY? IS THAT NOT SO SO MUCH MISSED REPRESENTATION? Like typical Tamil things like making a beat out of random shit, Tamil kuthu songs, Typical Tamil mega serials, food and enjoying food together. Like why wasn’t the food stated or name dropped. 

Personally, NHIE was really really really white palatable and it didn’t really get it into any roots of our culture especially for a girl struggling to find roots as in where she fits. Like you gotta show both cultures and let the audience and Devi figure out where she fits. If you show long Netflix shows like Pretty little liars, show alternatives like mega serials such as Chitti or Mudiyaathu Karuppu or Mettioli? Or if you wanna be more modern name drop Tamil webseries’s? If you wanna show English pop hits, show Tamil album songs and kuthu beats. IF YOU WANNA REPRESENT, THEN ACTUALLY REPRESENT. Don’t pull this generic ass BS on me!

5. I hope the lack of tamil culture in the series gets corrected next season somehow. I don’t have ANY ANY faith that it will. But I can be hopeful. Also I lowkey like that Devi has like a “rival” of another Indian girl. I don’t like that is is rivalry cause brown sisters gotta support each other and that’s sort of been the general motto from where I’m from. But like I get why and it would make complete sense. 

I really really hope that Aneesha is like super super Indian. Proud of her culture and brings a lot of her culture and its facets to discussions and not afraid to make her culture a focal point of herself.  It would be a really good foil to Devi and it might spark some thought into her and accepting or at least recognizing the cool shit about being Tamil. I wanna see that mainly cause I used to be lowkey ashamed for having a strong accent when I speak cause I was made fun of and I didn’t like having different lunches or listening to different music and not being part of the more Western culture. But I learnt to ignore that and became like 3000 times more proud of being Tamil and wore like traditional clothes to school, ranging from kurti tops over jeans at first and eventually wearing full on chudidaars and saris (saris to proms at least, I couldn’t wear a sari on a daily, half sari probably, sari would be hard). Bringing traditional sweets and food and distributing them to anyone who would ask and trading lunches.  Please let me see a brown kid who is proud to be brown and straight up in your face about it at times. 

(Unrelated but to Tamil/Indian ppl who had other Indian/Tamil kids in your school like was trading lunches or like sharing lunches common? Like its a pretty common Tamil thing to do and I brought that culture of taking some of everybody’s lunch and giving everybody a part of mine everywhere I went. But like was that a thing? )

[cupcakesandtv]

I was gonna do a cute title like “Never Have I Ever suffered from poor plot pacing” or “Never Have I Ever been so attached to a character that it will slowly wreck the show.” But those were clunky titles and I’m not a tv writer (yet) so I’ll leave that alone. 

I liked the season more than I thought I would. I was worried that the Aneesa stuff would pit Devi against her in a way that felt icky. I was worried that they’d ruin Paxton. I was worried they’d forget all about the continuing grief journey. But they didn’t do those things. Well. I have some complaints but overall, if you’re not spending all your time drenched in fandom, it was good. It was fine. 

Maitreyi Ramakrishna made me cry. Poorna Jagannathan made me cry. Lee Rodriguez made me cry. Megan Suri made me cry. Also Sharon, Eleanor’s step mom? There was a bit where she got me really teary. Or as Paxton mentioned “puffy.” 

I laughed at Trent falling off the roof. I screamed at Paxton getting Regina George’d. I loved Kamala realizing that standing up for herself like Devi would was important. I chuckled warmly when Trent asked Eleanor to dance. 

Overall, it was lovely. 

But I think there were some serious pacing problems. It was smart to get the dating two boys mess kiboshed by the end of ep2. I liked that Devi herself was the snitcher and that her own hubris brought her downfall. She was not out here letting Zoe Maytag take her man or even pretend to. 

I didn’t like that we seem to have circled back to Paxton is dumb, doesn’t talk, only cares about popularity, and the show frames his attraction to Devi as only being physical. He liked her in season 1 because she was weird. She said things he didn’t expect. He got to be vulnerable with her. But I guess he just waited in his car for her all day (including having Chinese food delivered to his jeep) because he thinks she’s just hot.

I didn’t like that Ben is portrayed as not only attainable, but as the better match for Devi. The montage of things we see them doing is competing against each other, kissing, and like studying? It doesn’t seem like they have fun except when kissing. I feel ya, Devi, kissing is fun, but Fab is right, Ben’s grand gesture was dangerous and as boring as her dad’s daily commute. Fab is also right that Ben has never been nice to Devi and he’s been a jerk to Fab and Eleanor too. I didn’t see that improving at all over the season. Somehow they just accepted him into their group? Oh right, btw Ben still doesn’t have friends. He just has a different gf now. 

I didn’t like that Ben was the reason Devi was jealous of Aneesa. There were valid reasons that Devi was jealous of her and boiling it down to Ben felt like an excuse to keep Devi and Aneesa in conflict for longer than necessary. A lot of things felt dragged out and longer than necessary. But that’s to my point about the pacing and being attached to Ben to the detriment of the show. Why does Devi even like Ben? Literally what has he done? One grand gesture? And sometimes they banter. He still calls her “David” which still is so yikes considering how ethnic names are often mocked by white people. It’s like he enjoys having the high ground to be cruel after she hurts him. (The tattoo thing was mean in a way that felt way too much like he was rubbing her nose in it.) And even when they have those little moments throughout when we’re supposed to see that aw, they still like each other, they were just like him being the barest minimum of nice when Devi was suffering. I’m sure plenty of shippers will have list upon lists of things Ben has done and how he and Devi clearly like each other. But it was a lot of tell and not show. “Ben challenges me! I picked up 15 bags of trash today,” is such a weird way to think of someone you like?

The show’s attachment to the love triangle, and Ben’s part in it, will be the nail in its coffin. Just like Danny going off the rails and wanting Mindy to be a trad wife made so many of us rage quit The Mindy Project, the way they’ll continue to push Ben vs Paxton will keep us bored. 

Let me shift back to things I liked again. Absolutely adored Paxton’s episode. I know Chrissy Teigen fucked up and couldn’t be the narrator after all that bullying she did came to light but I would very much like to know what her script looked like because it was probably peak comedy. I feel like her image as a famous, hot asian american (pre the scandal) would have been a better fit than Gigi Hadid. But Gigi did well enough and I enjoyed it. Love that I nailed Paxton’s parents as hippies, it was DELIGHTFUL to find out they’re Jesus hippies. Can’t wait to write some religious trauma into Paxton’s story one day. Love Paxton’s grandpa and I liked how that worked its way around the whole season. I was impressed. OH ALSO SHOUT OUT TO GRANPAX FOR BELIEVING IN OUR GUY WHEN EVEN HIS PARENTS’ DIDN’T. I know I’ve previously said that I hated the idea of Devi tutoring Paxton. I think he’d be way too proud. But the show made it work in a way that made sense. And it was nice to see him come around to understanding he needed to do better for himself. I didn’t love Devi yelling at him that she couldn’t hold his hand forever but I liked the way it got him to see the reality of that point. He couldn’t use Devi as a crutch. He needed to do the work himself. Even if it was hard. I mean, he’s still a junior in high school and clearly he’ll be fine for senior year swim team but pish posh. It worked for the story to have that be a catalyst for him to figure his shit out. 

The “Crazy Devi” stuff really hit. I could see them building to it and I kinda hate that it never got back around to Paxton. I would have liked to see him assuring her she wasn’t crazy. Or even admitting that he started that nickname. (The whole time he was being ~mean to Devi it felt like the writer’s knew Ben was so awful last season that they had to make Paxton look mean too as balance but Darren clearly played it as Paxton being uncomfortable when he was mean to Devi. A contrast to Ben, like I mentioned before, enjoying being cruel to Devi.) I’m glad she went to her therapist about it though. I’m glad that Dr. Ryan assured her that despite her actions being extreme, they were based in pain and trauma and that didn’t make her crazy. The thing with her mom dating….phew. I have never related more, Devi. My dad died when I was a whole ass adult so my trauma is not the same. But the things grief can do to you: like say, when your widowed mother mentions a man more than once in conversation and you start imagining scenarios as to why she’s even TALKING about another man. I’ve been there, Devi. She was right to be hurt and mad finding out her mom lied to her. But I loved the way her Grandma smacked her and reminded her that her mother was an adult. Our parents are imperfect human beings like we are. They make mistakes, or rash decisions, and sometimes they do things just to feel. And Nalini needed to feel. I loved the way that unfolded. (Although I don’t think Common is a very good actor….sorry don’t throw tomatoes. He is very hot so I GET IT NALINI, I DO.) 

It’s like 1am so the last thing I’m gonna talk about is the made up hurdle of Paxton being embarrassed of Devi. I can’t believe they took an excuse that he made up to fool his sister last season (“I’m cool, she’s known for winning the spelling bee”) and made a whole goddamn episode about it. It was transparent as one final obstacle for Devi and Paxton to clear before they let them get together. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad they ended up together. Him hitting her with his car and wanting to take her to the hospital, her demanding that he be clear about his intentions, that was all very cute. But Paxton has never been embarrassed of Devi. In season 1, he hung out with her without any qualms. He had her at the hot pocket. He cheered her on when someone tried to make fun of her after the party. Trent even looked UNCOMFORTABLE when he iced Devi out after her mom called him an idiot. His friends knew who she was and didn’t seem at all concerned with her social status. If anything, Paxton found that part of Devi refreshing. And in season 2, we’re shown that oh, during their brief time dating, he never referred to her as his girlfriend and oh Trent was always there. The explanation given makes sense I guess. But it doesn’t really. He wasn’t embarrassed because he was dating her and she lied. He was hurt. He didn’t even come up with the excuse of her not mattering to him until just before that car took him out. In season 1 when Paxton found out Devi had been telling everyone they were having sex, he wasn’t embarrassed. He was hurt. He thought they were friends. Instead, she was using him to raise her social status. But he didn’t rebut the rumor. He didn’t correct anyone! He wasn’t embarrassed. So this last ditch hurdle felt like they ran out of material. It was nice to see Devi stand up for herself and say that she wouldn’t just be the secret girl, but overall, it just wasn’t believable. Especially since they won’t let go of the love triangle and still left it WIDE open for Ben to swoop in next season. 

So while I’m glad they ended up together, it just feels like it will be switched up next season when she will inevitably date Ben. For some unknown reason. Idk he’ll probably cheat on Aneesa to kiss Devi. Again. That will probably set off more Devi apology tour and hijinks. But at this point, I’m over it. I think the show was best when it was about Devi (and Paxton) learning and trying to do better. But Ben really drags most of that to a grinding halt.

[seeyoumondaydevi]

Hi! Can you please expand on Devi and Paxton's relationship in 2x02 and through season 1 on how he did put in effort through both the seasons and was not embarrassed of her? Thanks!

Hey anon! Thanks for asking this!

I’ll be using alot of screenshots.. I took them during class so bear with me.. I couldn’t gif the scenes. 

I'm starting from 1x05. Paxton was never embarrassed of Devi as a friend or as someone who he could be romantically linked with. 

I saw this post under the Paxton tag last year about how Paxton didn’t have any reason to be mad at her and concluded that he was embarrassed of her so I wanna talk about that too.   They said but it was something like “ he gets mad is because she started the rumor that they had, had sex. Which I don’t get why he was so mad about that. Am I totally mistaken or didn’t he kinda have a reputation as someone who fucked around a lot. Plus Devi goes up to him when they barely know each other, asks if he’ll have sex with her and he says yes immediately. Again though this is a situation where if you really love someone either romantically or platonically... wouldn’t you talk to Devi about why the rumor was circulated before blowing up at her and then giving her the cold shoulder?” 

He isn’t mad about people thinking they had sex. He is hurt that she used him. Hurt. Not embarrassed. And no he doesn’t have a reputation of fucking around. Y’all just assumed this cause he’s an attractive popular kid. 

“I thought we were friends, but you were just using me”. 

People have been using Paxton. Taking advantage of his friendship. 

He’s protective of his sister, he thought of some people as his friends and they just bullied his sister.  He thought of Devi as a friend and she used him. That definitely hit a nerve.  Later he didn’t even deny the rumors she started? After Paxton figured out that she had been lying to people.. she dreaded going to school. I don’t recall him giving her a cold shoulder. But he just admitted to the rumors. 

So if he was embarrassed of Devi, he could have just denied the rumors and moved on. But he didn’t.

 From 1x08 to 1x10

They’re on good terms.. at Ben’s party she falls into the pool and Paxton is the only one who pulls her out WHEN ALL OF HIS FRIENDS WERE POINTING AND LAUGHING. So no. He didn’t go around saving her to look cool. Giving her a ride home, staying with her until she sorts herself out, asking if she’s okay and listening to her.. doesn’t make him look cool. He did all that when he didn’t have any audience. 

They kissed. They BOTH were thrilled. Paxton left saying “ I’ll see you Monday Devi”. He had no intention of avoiding her. He showed up at her doorstep the next morning.

So no McEnroe, he did not “ice her out right after their steamy kiss in their car”

He only distanced himself AFTER Devi’s MOM. Her MOM. Called him an Idiot who knocks up smart girls and ruins their futures. He’s just a 16 year old boy being nice and he gets yelled at. So he made a dumb choice and distanced himself from Devi. But in the end he still went back to the same place where he got yelled at so horribly just to be with her. 

In season 2, I find it stupid for people to say he didn’t put any effort in..  He waited for her to get home in 2x01... he risked Nalini’s wrath again. He asked her out.. and yeah he brought friends on his date. That’s only because he’s oblivious. He’s never been on an actual date before. And he’s immediately correcting himself and offers to take her on an actual date

His friends are present for ALL of his dates. Not only Devi’s. He in no way was trying to hide their relationship. 

He wanted to ask her to be his garbage partner and was visibly hurt when she walked away with Ben

He also kissed her in public so I refuse to believe he was hiding their relationship before the cheating drama. 

In 2x02 

Again, saying he isn’t invested just because he didn’t use emoji’s is bullshit. Y’all attacked him for not using emojis but would shut up when Ben talked about his ex’s boobs and her hand jobs while askin Devi to be his girlfriend. If Paxton had done that y’ll would drag him right?

He was so disappointed when Devi tried to un-invite him to her going away dinner.. he just wanted to be there with her. Trent steps in for Paxton so again.. he wasn’t hiding his relationship

He publicly flirted with her at her party, invited her to his swim meets and I quote “I’d love to come out of the pool and look at you”

Fabiola also has a picture of Paxton having his arm around Devi in the hallway

He only wanted a private relationship AFTER she cheated on him. Which is very valid. You could check this post out :)

The point of narrator is looking through Devi's lenses. In that moment (where she imagined Paxton throwing his arm around Trent too), she believed Paxton was embarrassed of her because she didn't understand why he was hiding her away. It doesn't mean she was right. He later explained himself and she understood and they broke up.. but he later showed up at the dance as her boyfriend. 

[the-paris-of-people]

Hi. This is really not a question but more of a rant. A really really long one. I apologize in advance. I honestly care waaaaayyyy too much about this show than I should. Clearly too bored🙈.

After reading people's comments on this show and the ships, there are so many things that irk me and I thought I'd share even if I might get crap for it. So here goes:

1. "Ben only wants Devi when she is with Paxton." I.e. it's about Paxton. Lol people are funny. As though Ben thinks he can compete with Paxton on a social level. He's not stupid, he knows full well he can't. It's about Devi and in part her obsession with Paxton. People don't like thinking about things from Ben's perspective because they just don't like him. He's the one that finds out Devi is cheating, she runs after Paxton at the party ( now granted before she runs out, she's intensely staring at Ben and then realises Paxton is leaving but Ben's not gonna remember that) and she was busy chumming it up with Paxton in episode 3 in front of Ben with absolute disregard for him. So his natural defence is to guard himself and have his walls go up. It is a valid response. He burries his pain (exactly what Samberg said). And does not let his guard down around her romantically until episode 10 when Paxton literally rejects her at school. At the school dance, sparks are flying between those 2. Is Paxton around at the time...Uhm no (I'll get into the whole Aneesa thing). In his mind Paxton is out of the picture and it's like he can almost trust her again. And then when Paxton shows up with Devi, he basically feels like a fool for ever thinking that he was ever something more than 2nd best or sometimes anything at all ( especially considering Devi still wants Paxton after Devi and Paxton's last public interaction that Ben witnessed- I mean he does not get to see the shit behind closed doors). But then when Eleanor spills the tea, that look on his face is disbelief, yes a little bit of jealousy but overwhelmingly heartbreak. He is essentially watching the chance he never knew he had go away. Now you could argue that he should have known that she wanted him back but she broke his trust and does not explicitly say, " I want you back". Ben's not trying to get burnt again based on some assumption/hunch. He has been wrong before.

2. "How dare Ben be upset that Devi is with Paxton when he is with Aneesa". Fair point. Just like how dare Devi be upset and lose her shit over Ben and Aneesa. But yet it still happend. Devi gets 5 episodes allowing her to be upset and Ben can't even have one moment when a firkken bomb gets dropped on him.

Aneesa and Ben should have never date. Everyone knows that. He was never over Devi. He just pushed those feelings down to make him believe he was over her. I obviously don't agree with this. Aneesa doesn't deserve that. Ben needs to go to therapy. He needs an outlet. He is similar to Devi in that he doesn't want to process what happened and would rather move on and react. However, his reactions are far less impulsive/severe as Devi's. Him dating Aneesa is unfortunately a reaction. He didn't give himself time to really process how he feels. People say he dated Aneesa solely to spite Devi which is not true. Is there an element of " you never wanted me but someone else does"... absolutely but Aneesa is also very kind to Ben, they get along really well and she puts him first. Technically what's not to like. I mean if it was just to spite Devi, could he have not tried to hustle his way back in with Shira?? Problem is that dumb dumb didn't work through his Devi feelings and let's just be honest, the same spark and chemistry he has with Devi, is missing with Aneesa. It often feels forced, especially in regards to the pace of the relationship. I so wished Aneesa remained friends with Ben. That's what he needed...not another relationship.

3. "Aneesa is so amazing, she doesn't deserve to get hurt." I agree. She absolutely doesn't deserve to get hurt just like Ben and Paxton didn't deserve that crap Devi pulled. I think Aneesa is a great addition and I like that Devi has someone within her community to connect to. I'm South Asian myself and I genuinely value this aspect of my own life. I mean she is pretty great, kind and the anorexia rumour Devi unintentionally started was pretty heartbreaking. That scene where she talks to Devi at the relay about it, is so sad (especially coz we as viewers know Devi messed up). Now that being said is Aneesa also low key shady? YES. And it's not because she dated her friend's ex. It's because she started dating him knowing that Devi started the rumour about her because she was jealous about Ben and her. How does she think Devi would go from being so jealous that she starts a rumour, to the next week becoming their biggest "Stan". Come on girl. But there was no way Devi could say no after the crap she pulled with Aneesa. Ben did ask her out so if there is blame, he absolutely gets it too but he didn't know why Devi started that rumour (based on his surprised AF face when Eleanor spills the tea). Which leads me to my next question. Why didn't Aneesa tell him? Aneesa said Ben was supporting her through the rumour. She probably told him Devi started the rumour but didn't tell him why? That is odd? Clearly if Ben had known, he may changed his perspective on Devi actually wanting him instead of ignoring his feelings.

Lastly Aneesa knows there are unresolved feelings between Devi and Ben. This is evident from that dance scene. She literally runs to cut in their pretty intense conversation. Like why you running girl? I didn't think much of it at first but coupled with another moment, it makes a lot of sense. When Ben agrees to dance with Aneesa, he looks back at Devi and lingers and Aneesa picks up on this and pulls him away. It's a blink and you will miss it moment but it is there.

Now all of this doesn't mean she needs to get hurt but they probably need to break up. Ben needs to be single for a while and work through how he feels about Devi, Aneesa and most importantly himself. Whilst I don't particularly enjoy their relationship, you never get to see it from either of their perspectives. Maybe that could change things but honestly I just prefer Ben and Devi.

Also can everyone stop acting like Ben is dating Devi's best friend. Being brown doesn't make you automatically best friends and Ben and Devi met Aneesa the same week. People are acting like he is dating Eleanor.

4. "Devi chose Paxton". Please! The only thought through decision that girl made in regards to these 2 boys is when she chose herself and decided not to be Paxton's little secret. I mean in episode 1 and 2 she can't decide so she dates both. In episode 3, she interacts with Paxton because of the whole tutoring thing. He says they don't makes sense. While she seems a bit sad she doesn't seem too upset like she is season 1 and she isn't looking for any opportunity to spend time with him (unlike season 1). Episode 4,5,6,7 and 8 she is losing her mind over Ben. Half way through 8 she knows she has no choice but to let him go. But even after that she doesn't pursue Paxton. He does that at the end of episode 9 when in all honesty she hasn't really thought about him in a while. Then of course Paxton does what he does and she finally choose herself, issuing an ultimatum essentially. Paxton does eventually show up...but it's a choice by default. She just yo-yo's between them. She also needs to be single, deal with her loss, love herself and think about what she wants.

5. "Devi loves Paxton". Sure bud. Does have Devi have feeling for Paxton? Duh! But is it love. Nope. People like to confuse infatuation for love. She has been infatuated with this boy this the 3rd (she knew squat about him). When her dad died, she turns that infatuation into an obsession. It like becomes a full time hobby in season 1. She ruins relationships over it. In season 2 you can argue there is more depth to it and Paxton does grow in Season 2. But somehow she is still fixated on the fact that it's Paxton Hall-Yoshida. I mean she smells him (totally normal), Mc Enroe's comment at the relay was, "did this hunk of beef just say he likes spending time with her", when she breaks up him she says , "you are very good at kissing" not possibly any of his other good qualities. And at the end she says , "I guess I'm Paxton Hall Yoshida's girlfriend now". This boy is so far up a pedestal that if he fell of it, he'd break something. Now granted if he fell of it in Season 1, he'd be dead. So progress I guess...

Maybe the relationship will change in Season 3 and she genuinely falls in love with him. I mean Id be sad but obviously a real possibility. But also that relationship needs to move on from being just the "Paxton project" which it was basically all of season 2. Maybe actually talk about her every once in a while.

Also people who find the ending so amazing because he shows up...bare minimum bro. I understand his perspective, how does it look to go back with someone who cheated on you. Fair point 💯. However she didn't start this shit up again. He did. He liked her so much that he had to make out with her In the middle of the night out of the blue but not enough to respect her publically. That's some BS right there. If he started it, he should have thought it through instead of guilt tripping her. But he is a teenager and ALL of them make incredibly stupid decisions (we all have). Devi messed up big time too and she apologized. The same compassion must extend to him but in no way is it a grand gesture, it's the bare minimum...like her apologies

6. "Paxton forgave Devi forgave Devi so quickly whilst Ben didn't and was so mean". He did forgive her pretty quickly. Good for him. However let's not act like circumstance didn't carve the way for that. They were pushed together because of the whole tutoring thing and he knows that they have to see each other all the time. So logically just makes sense to keep the peace. But still mature oh his part. Also he wasn't as emotionally invested as Ben. Did he have feelings? Yes. However, based on his inner monologue (Gigi Hadid) his ego took more of a hit because how could Devi, the "weirdest girl" he ever liked two time him with Ben Gross. Did his feelings deepen by the end? Yes. But at the start...it isn't that deep.

Also it's great and all that he "forgave" her so quickly but he sure did like bringing it up a lot. Like at the relay guilting her, upset at the end of 6 because he failed...I mean wtf girl you owe me- I don't really care what else is going on in your life, again in episode 8 in the car and finally we all know the mess that is episode 10.

In regards to Ben. His anger is justified for reasons stated in point 1. In fact his reaction seems more real because he is deeply hurt by Devi. Do I like some of his reaction (i.e. nose piercing-will discuss this further) ...nope but she only sincerely apologises to him in episode 8 vs 3 for Paxton. He accepts it. People acting like they would be so calm and chill about being cheated on. And yes he did cheat on Shira. He tries to kiss Devi at party twice but apologises that day and the following week. He doesn't try anything with Devi the whole of episode 10 until she kisses him. He acknowledges that it was wrong and immediately breaks up with Shira. Although cheating is not something we should condone can we actually acknowledge that Shira was the worst and doesn't even remember Ben's name. Compare that to Devi's premeditated cheating. Her Eleanor are literally laughing at how amazing they are for pulling it off and Devi didn't care about either of their feelings cause she was going to be India. Sorry but that is far worse. She also thinks she can bullshit her apology with Ben. He isn't here for that...which is fine! He kept trying his level best to avoid her but even that she wouldn't let him do.

7. "Ben is Horrible". Has Ben done some shitty things. Absolutely. People complain that he has never apologised for anything. Fair enough. He needs to apologize for the UN comment and the psychosomatic comment. It was incredibly hurtful. However, no one does call him out of it. Now you could argue he should just do it. Please... have you watched these particular set of teenagers? None of them apologise without being called out on it first(except maybe Fabiola). And you only get called out my your support system ... which Ben does not have. He practically looks like he raised himself. He doesn't have parents to put him back in line or a sister to call him out on his shit. Devi has her mom, cousin, grandmum , Elanor, Fabiola and her therapist. Does she ever listen to them the first time? Nope. And her first time apologies are such messes. She only gets it right the 2nd or 3rd time. All of them have some form of support but not really him. And it is heartbreaking. It's why I genuinely believe he needs to go to therapy. He needs an outlet to express everything he feels. He also needs to be held accountable for those comments and understand the root of it (ok let's be honest Devi even in their rivalry was probably the most constant person in his life, and fighting with her meant she stayed close by- it's a subconscious thing). He should apologize to her and also find better ways to communicate what he is feeling. The nose ring thing was manipulative. I agree. He should apologize. But I'm not gonna lie, it doesn't piss me off as much because I think it's pretty messed that it took that for her to realise how much she hurt him. Also tbh if you were willing to alter your body on a 2 minute thought out dare, you wanted to do it anyway. But again not a healthy way to emote on Ben's part. The David thing doesn't upset me because he knows how to pronounce her actual name. It's not like he doesn't know how and doesn't bother to try. It was part of their rivalry to irritate her. I honestly find it quite endearing as part of their friendship and think Devi does. I may be wrong and she may not like it and in that case he needs to stop and apologize.

I am not upset by him coming over to her house and calling her out about Aneesa. She deserved it. Also if she was that uncomfortable she could have taken him outside to talk like she did with Paxton. She is clearly comfortable enough to have him in the house. And her therapist agrees with Ben. If he hadn't, she wouldnt have known that Aneesa was leaving. Her mom took away her phone. And even then her first attempt at an apology was soooooo bad. And I don't think Ben did it solely to get Aneesa to stay so he could date her. This is Ben, he was willing to do long distance with Devi from India, I think he could have done the same with Aneesa from like the same town 🙄

I genuinely like Ben because he is a good kid. He makes mistakes like they all do. His personality is hilarious to watch but also his and Devi's relationship is so special. Me liking Ben and Devi has nothing to do with what Paxton has or has not done. I just like the dynamic between the two. They obviously care deeply for each other. Their conversations are hilarious. I love their banter. I love how comfortable they are with each and am sometimes surprised by the depth of their conversations. But also they have amazing chemistry. All the jealous looks and angst are between these two idiots pining for each other. I think she does have chemistry with Paxton but it's more because he is PHY, school Adonis. I mean let's be honest, he'd probably have chemistry with Fabiola solely cause he is PHY. The two nerds just match each other and it's so funny how often they are in sync. It's honestly adorable. They just get each other. That bathroom scene was the sweetest thing and also proves he's not this terrible person. She only comes out of the stall because of his support. He is genuinely hurt for her when technically it should have been a great moment for him.

I do believe the two have to be single for a bit before admitting their feelings for one another and moving forward. That's why my main thing for season 3 is that he absolutely cannot interfere in her relationship with Paxton. He needs to give her the space to figure that. Do I think there will be moments between them... absolutely but no cheating please. Everyone needs to move on from that. If they do it...I honestly think il be done with the show.

Anyways sorry for the really long ramble. If you made it to the end thanks for your patience 😌

Thank you for this beautiful masterpiece, I pretty much agree with everything and need to put it out there for the world to see

[leighlim]

How does your grief look like? Did it have 'shock' mixed in as well?

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(Hopefully by this point you’ve finished all two seasons of ‘Never Have I Ever’, the kind of person who isn’t bothered by spoilers, or are just deciding if you still want to keep watching.)

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Grief takes many forms. That's probably why this show is still compelling after subsequent rewatches.

Eleanor's home life gets a spotlight this episode and I'm reminded how Mindy and the writers manages to weave the link between the three friends. All three are experiencing a disconnect with their parents. It is a familiar thing going through adolescence because that period is exactly where you're naturally looking for how to carve a life of your own including your own identity. It's kind of difficult to do that if there isn't a strong foundation of support within your family.

Devi couldn't reach out to her dad even if she wanted to. Fab has this deep seated fear of disappointing her parents. Eleanor is an extreme example of a child who's mother clung to the maxim 'follow your dreams' (so much that she couldn't envision a way to stay connected with her child as she tackles to build a life she feels is authentic to her).

PS: I like Paxton's reply to Eleanor when she reacted badly to the revelation that her mother may be not where she expects her to be. Though Paxton was not extremely emphatic (understandable since they aren't close), he didn't react in a way that a lot of high school TV shows depict. For example, like lashing out to Eleanor that he was just being nice to her.

(That scene also reminded me why sometimes it is difficult to write certain characters. Because in the real world, sometimes they choose to be two dimensional. I know that's likely because of society's conditioning: be what the world wants you to be)

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Highlight:

INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY

DEVI enters in business attire. The room is decked out in Model UN style. Formal tables, flags, the whole shebang. Like the UN, but more...personal. Attendees are mingling just like what you'd expect in the minutes before a meeting starts.

She stops. Clocks BEN, chatting with two other 'delegates'. BEN looks her way. DEVI rolls her eyes as he makes a beeline for her.

BEN

Bad morning, enemy. Just an unfriendly reminder that you're not necessarily good at UN, just because you are a 'UN'.

Another eyeroll from the interloper.

BEN

So keep quiet, don't raise your placard, and support all my resolutions.

DEVI

No way. I'm winning that Best Delegate hammer.

BEN

It's a gavel.

DEVI

Whatever. It's mine. So prepare for Equatorial Guinea to do what Equatorial Guinea does best:

She reads from her phone.

DEVI

"...have one of the worst human rights records in the world."

She builds up the triumphant look but then realises what she just read. Her face falls.

DEVI

Damn.

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My verdict of the episode: 7/10

Timestamp Commentary: None (But if there are requests…I may…publish one!)

My Formal review about the show: Up for consideration…since it could be a future post in ‘Comedy To Watch’