#sorry I could write an essay about their relationship and friendship

[loveourfuture-c]

You see, I always got this impression that Paxton was in a way a ticket for Devi to feel self validated. He was the popular guy, the unattainable. She was physically attracted to him so the perfect fantasy and that’s Devi in a nutshell when she starts the series. She wants the dream of being popular because she thinks that outside validation (that she gets through Paxton) will give her the love she wants to feel for herself. So Devi walking away to follow Paxton at the party reflected her priorities at the moment. It was accurate for her arc.

Then, she got to date him and she archived *that dream* and yet she wasn’t happy or fulfilled. She realized that she cannot seek validation from outside forces and while Paxton was the one to break up with her I think she was able to get over him so quickly because she finally got to know what it feels to be popular and to date him and it wasn’t the life changing thing she thought it would be. She liked him but she was not in love with him. He fitted into the part of Devi that wanted to be popular but does not align with her new dreams anymore.

Sea was a means to and end. I think it allowed Devi to move on from Paxton but also figure out what she wants from a relationship. I like that in both relationships Ben was still a constant in her life.

Lastly, Ben is someone that aligns a lot more with who Devi truly is. Her new dream that is not longer about wanting to feel loved by external factors and she knows she is enough for Ben as she is and not what she thinks should be.

Anon this is the most correct thing anyone has ever left in my inbox. I also feel like her wanting to date Paxton was 1. To be “popular” and 2. In her own words, “be a normal girl that could actually have a boyfriend”. So yes she wanted to have that sort of validation but also she was looking to distract herself from her grief and all the things that made her “not normal”.

Also to add on a little bit to that last part, the reason why Ben was able to remain a constant in Devi’s life is because they are friends. They genuinely like each other and have so much in common. Like their relationship is best friends who are in love with each other and it’s amazing.

[heesdreamer]

IN MY ROOM

PAIRING ➩ heeseung x reader

WARNINGS ➩ none really, unresolved angst and one sided heartbreak

WC ➩ 2.6k

AUTHORS NOTE ➩ Normally I don’t write small drabbles but obsessed with this song and wanted to do something for it. No full fic for this or part 2 sorry it’s supposed to hurt! I highly suggest listening while listening or beforehand since it’s fully inspired by the lyrics and vibe

I like when it's dark out, October will cure me

I'm walking these woods, am I thirty or thirteen?

The size of your heart seemed to grow and shrink with the seasons, always fluttering and aching depending on the shade of the trees and sometimes it felt like it got quiet all together.

You figured out a long time ago that the actual shape of it and your anatomy wasn’t changing and instead you were just an over emotional person (if there was such a thing). Your mother blamed it on your father being a writer, saying you inherited his soul and his passion for pouring all of his love into every little thing with the hopes something worth putting to paper would appear in return.

You didn’t write like he did but you did often find yourself overthinking the journey of tree roots and being curious about how building a proper nest weighed on a birds confidence.

It was a lot easier to fall inlove with everything than to tune the world out and that didn’t fall short of affecting the way you interacted with the people around you.

The way you loved your friends wasn’t always romantic but you had a deep connection to all of them and a mental list of all their habits and cute quirks like the way Wonyoung covered her mouth when she laughed hard and the raise of Riki’s eyebrow whenever he was curious about something.

You loved Heeseung in a different way.

Your heart was heavy as you walked through the tree covered trail that led to your house, knowing once you started thinking of him it was nearly impossible to stop.

In your defense, he seemed to have that affect on a lot of people.

There was just something undeniably charged about Heeseung and the way he interacted with the world around him. He was ever confident in a natural way that didn’t have a hint of arrogance and his gentle nature struck you hard the first time you met him when you were 13 and he had just turned 14.

You became close friends after getting partnered for a school project and your heart was soaring when he kept talking to you even after you’d turned in the essay and gotten a low B.

He was bestfriends with basically everybody he interacted with but you couldn’t help feeling special when you kept getting closer and closer and your friendship started to actually hold some weight instead of just having surface level conversations in between class lectures.

The cold fall chill ripped through your sweater right as your mood started to sour and you shook your head free from the thoughts of him or at least as free as you could.

Not asking for much, man, thought maybe you'd call me

I slit my own throat just to see if you'd mourn me

“He really hasn’t said a single thing to you? Like not even something random and completely unrelated to his absolute betrayal?”

You rolled your eyes and sighed at the dramatic exaggeration of Wonyoung’s statement but she was right to be upset on your behalf considering you had a hard time being mad at him yourself.

Your sigh continued as you rolled onto your back and tugged the phones chord as tight as possible so it reached further on your bed, nearly coming off the wall with how hard you were stretching the old elastic.

“He’s waved at me in the halls but I can’t talk to him.” Your voice was muffled just from how much you didn’t want to admit the extent of which this bothered you.

You weren’t at all exaggerating, you really couldn’t bring yourself to talk to Heeseung ever since he had casually announced on his MySpace that he was now in a relationship with one of your more casual mutual friends. He hadn’t told you beforehand that he even had feelings for her and you felt completely ridiculous for thinking he held you as close to his heart as you did for him.

Even your friend group had been thrown off by the news considering everybody followed the silent understanding that you and him were more than friends.

You’d rolled your eyes the few times they’d brought it up, both in light teasing or genuinely trying to pry and get you to answer their burning questions about your relationship.

You never fulfilled their curiosity for a multitude of reasons but mainly because you had no idea what you and Heeseung were exactly. You liked him more than you’d ever liked somebody in your life and your face turned red whenever you saw him smile or felt his hand brushing against yours under the lunch table but he’d never said anything to you about it.

His feelings might’ve seemed obvious to somebody who didn’t know him, figuring you were dating the second he wrapped his arm around you or ordered your food without checking what you wanted since he already had your preferences memorized.

But that was just who Heeseung was and you were no stranger to that.

He was overly caring and involved with everyone he met and he could make somebody he’d met seconds ago seem like they were best buddies from kindergarten. He definitely had a sweet spot for you but there was no real evidence that it extended past platonic admiration.

You were overwhelmingly glad now you’d never been stupid enough to tell your friends you were together before confirming it considering his abrupt new relationship that completely shattered your view on what you’d been to him.

Clearly you’d misread the signals the entire time and the two of you were just friends but the more you thought about it, the more angry you got. Not at Heeseung because your heart strictly forbid you for ever thinking negatively about the boy but just at the entire situation and the lack of understanding from both sides.

It wasn’t friendly when he stared into your eyes with the waves crashing behind you and your friends laughing somewhere in the distance. Not at all platonic when he was taking your hand in his at the school dance and ignoring the dozens of eyes staring at him, waiting for a turn.

They never got it because he spent the entire night spinning you in his arms and complimenting your dress and hair.

You weren’t confused when he laid in your bed after his parents threw a fit about his new piercing, his head on your stomach and his voice a whisper when he told you that you were the only person who understood him.

“You’re my person and I’ve never felt like that with anybody before so it freaks me out sometimes.” His eyes didn’t stray from the blank spot on your ceiling and yours stayed locked on the bruise forming around the new piece of middle inside his eyebrow. “I couldn’t think of anybody else I wanted to run to.”

“Is that a bad thing? Wanting to come to me?” Your fingers smoothed over the piercing and he winced a little because of how fresh it was but you didn’t move your touch away, just lessening the pressure you were applying.

“It’s only bad because how much it consumes me sometimes.”

You didn’t ask him to explain what he had meant that day because you figured you knew but apparently you were somehow wrong.

“Y/N? Earth to Y/N, are you still there?” Your friends voice over the line was bringing you back to reality and you assured her you hadn’t left before asking her to repeat whatever it is she had said. “I said that he was totally wrong to do that to you, we all think so.”

For some reason the thought of your friends seeing the same thing as you didn’t make you feel any better.

It actually made you want to curl into a ball ten times worse because you couldn’t blame it on your rose colored glasses if the closest people to you also felt like something was blossoming between the two of you. Your confusion in his abrupt relationship only made you feel sicker and sicker.

I want your things in my room, I miss you all of the time

I stalk myself on the internet just to see what you'll find

I want your things in my room, I miss you all of the time

You make it look so easy, leaving everything behind

Two weeks had passed since Heeseung posted the photo of him and Aubrey with his relationship status being changed right afterwards, glaring harshly at you on your home computers wavering screen.

Your eyebrows furrowed as you studied his expression underneath the grainy edgy filter he applied to it, eyes tracing the squint of his eyes as he smiled brightly and her lips pressed against his cheeks.

He looked happy and that somehow made you feel even sicker.

You wondered if he hadn’t told you about it because he feared your reaction or if he possibly couldn’t bring himself to silently end whatever it was that you felt towards each other. It hurt more than it might’ve a few years ago because you’d finally begun to feel like the two of you were on the same page, managing to be mutually single and interested at the same moment for the first time in all your years of pining.

A dozen near misses were finally leading to something big and concrete.

Or at least you thought so until you logged onto your MySpace account and saw his post, the same one you were glaring at now.

You hadn’t posted anything since you cut off communication with him but you couldn’t help yourself from checking your page and scrolling down it, curious if he’d be concerned over your silence if he ever went to see what you’d been doing with his absence. Maybe he hoped you’d be posting sad song lyrics or actively breaking down on his feed but instead you’d gone completely cold.

It was the only option in your mind considering you never were able to be normal when it came to Heeseung.

The sight of his hoodie on your bed or his left over guitar picks and crumbled up pieces of paper with random doodles scattered around your room was enough to bring you to tears and settle a sick feeling in your gut so you couldn’t imagine trying to sit and type out a post that would read as normal. Perfectly fine and not obsessing over who your friend was dating.

You told yourself that you were mainly caught up on the specifics of it because he hadn’t bothered to tell you about it.

It was worse to find out from a simple post over him sitting you down and letting you know but instead your entire world crumpled with every comment and heart from people who didn’t know him outside of passing him in the halls.

They didn’t know him during those late nights and they didn’t know the way his heart beat harder whenever you brushed your fingers through his hair or met his eyes in a crowded room. The faceless usernames had no idea there was somebody out there absolutely shattering at this simple ‘in a relationship’ post.

You groaned into your hands and shut the computer down without bothering to close his blogs tab, knowing you’d be opening it first thing tomorrow regardless.

You look so cool getting high

No handlebars, you wanna fly

You look so cool, I wanna die

Is it too soon to say what on my mind?

“Hope you brought some bandaids.” His voice was wobbly as he circled around you and you laughed softly at his clear fearfulness, the sound muffled by the straw of your slushy that was clutched between your knees.

“For when you inevitably eat shit?”

He laughed at your bluntness and the action almost caused him to do exactly that, the bike wheel rapidly twisted on the rugged gravel and nearly sending him straight into the rocky parking lot he was currently riding handless around.

One of his hands was occupied with his own extra large slushy from the gas station near you and the other was holding a small joint that was nearly smoked out of existence. You had hated when Heeseung started to smoke and you spent the last few years complaining about the smell of his clothes and scolding you when he left the scent on your pillows.

You’d never tell him that you slowly got used to it, almost liking it as it blended easily with his signature cologne and his naturally aroma that you found yourself leaning into whenever you had a few feet between you.

He rarely smoked infront of you once he realized you genuinely didn’t like it and you were just nagging at him but today was the exception.

Heeseung had turned eighteen today and while your friends had begged and begged him to either throw a party or let them do it in his honor, he had strongly declined. You had been confused considering he was shy to partying and it would definitely be one of the bigger events of the year with how many people would love to gather and get drunk in the honor of Heeseung.

Your confusion was lost when he wrapped himself around your back, arms circling your middle and casually telling your friends he’d rather spend the night hanging out with you like it didn’t completely uproot your existence whenever he said things like that.

You didn’t even doubt the honesty of his answer, genuinely knowing he had more fun in this dirty parking lot with cheap slushees and your company than he would’ve at a huge rager.

“What do I get if I don’t fall?” He was smiling at you as he rounded back into your point of view but he was behind you again before he could see the way your own lips turned up. “Doesn’t that call for a prize?”

“A prize? What would you want?” You watched his eyebrows raised like he was in deep thought and you laughed at the absurdity of him disappearing back behind you as he continued to ride his bikes in circles around you. You didn’t like riding bikes as much as he did but last summer he’d painted a pair of pegs pink for you, sticking them to his otherwise blacked out frame and smiling proudly.

It was something you’d rolled your eyes at and you’d given him a quick thankful kiss on the cheek but you secretly loved standing behind him as he rode you around, hands on his shoulders and the wind blowing through your hair.

You especially loved how happy he was to show you that he’d done it, something that would make you more comfortable when you rode together.

He was humming like he was deep in thought and you waited patiently with your chin resting in your hand, smile bright on your face at his theatrical responses.

“If I don’t fall…. you let me stay at your place tonight.”

Your heart was already starting to beat out of your chest at the soft request and the way his voice got lower like he was waiting for you to reject him. Both of your reactions were ridiculous considering he’d spent the night at your house dozens of times and was over more than he went home but he always asked beforehand.

Something you liked because then it always gave you the opportunity to tell him that he was welcomed.

“I figured that was the plan anyways.” You took a large drink of your slushy after letting the words fall out more casual than you felt and he pressed on the brakes when he was in front of you this time, a wide smile still on his face and genuine easiness radiating off of him.

“You sure know how to make a birthday special.” He was so beautiful when he said that and the way he looked at you made you feel like he genuinely meant what he was saying even if he was just making a joke about your rather simple nature.

Telling him you love him was heavy on your mind and even heavier on your tongue and it took almost everything inside of you not to just blurt it out and accept the brute force of whatever his reaction might be without any preparation. You wanted him to know that his birthday was special, you needed him to know that you loved him and that you wanted to spend every year like this no matter how old you got.

Instead you took another sip of your slushy and let him ride around you until his tire gave out and he was landing on the gravel with a laugh that inspired your own.

You hadn’t know then that you were currently experiencing his birthday with the two of you for the last time and you wondered now if you would have told him back then if you had known. Would it have made a difference or was he always fated to leave?

Did your love story really end with a simple post from his end and the smell of smoke ever fading from the smooth fabric of your pillow cases or was this all some large twisted joke from the universe, one last test of your affection towards each other before you finally stopped nearly missing.

You tried your best to stop thinking about it and him and all the little things he’d left in your room.

[felizusnavidad]

so it's been a few days since you saw waitress, what are your initial thoughts?

thank you so much for reminding me and sorry for being quiet about it for so long, i've been meaning to write this mini essay but i really needed to take a deep breath & collect my thoughts first. so...

sugar, butter, flour... (it's been ringing in my head for days)

i honestly didn't really know what to expect when i started watching it. i knew a little bit about the plot, not that much tho, & i knew who wrote the music for it, the rest was a mystery to me.

i always say the best musicals are the ones that make you cry & this was definitely one of those. it made me feel... so many things at once. so first of all, i think the proshot was absolutely beautiful & i wish we could see more musicals this way. second of all: the characters! all of them so incredibly written & so real!

ok, i am really trying not to be chaotic here, but it's not easy (i've cried multiple times while watching it, ok???). jenna's story completely broke my heart. also, as a person who ended a very toxic relationship not that long ago, i must say i could feel her pain & struggle even more (earl reminded me of my ex so much it hurts, but we are not going there). but she wasn't the only relatable character here, this may be surprising for you, but i literally had a mental breakdown on "when he sees me" cause i found a little bit of myself there (wow, i've got issues)... another song worth mentioning is definitely "she used to be mine" (that was the moment i had to stop watching for a second cause my eyes were so full of tears i couldn't see anything lol). and don't even get me started on "you matter to me"... especially when you think about the ending...

the ending was really surprising for me, but not in a bad way i guess? as much as i wanted a happy ending for jenna, i didn't want it to be all perfect cause that's the thing about life, right? it's never perfect. but she did found herself & her happiness eventually & to be completely honest with you anon, i love a good story that shows us we can be happy without men (even tho it broke my heart a little bit). also, she wasn't left alone. she had amazing friends (another thing that always makes me cry because friendships are so important to me & they are always my favourite part of the plot) & her little daughter! & her own place! & omg i think i'm gonna start crying again...

so, like, you know. i will probably rewatch it pretty soon, i'm also gonna listen to the soundtrack more cause my thoughts are really chaotic at the moment, but overall i think this is such a great musical, definitely one of the best i've seen so far and i am dying to see it live! the choreography was absolutely incredible, the whole cast was amazing, the music was really, really good and the plot made me cry like a baby. this is all you need to know. i loved it so much!!!

[cactikiki]

YOU ASKED FOR THE ASK AND I AM HERE TO PROVIDE THE ASKING 👋

I am assuming that you meant like actual questions when you said specifics but if I saw it wrong I'm sorry😭

But I was thinking like, how did the dialogue between Greg and Ellis go when Greg said he wanted to change the story? Was there any reluctance from Ellis at all or was he totally chill with it? It's hard to really tell because it's stated that theyve been friends since they were younger, but then again Ellis seems a bit careless in some ways, so maybe he was just going along with everything because he wasn't interested in the story in the first place?

And I've been wondering since Greg and Ellis seemed to be around each other alot, if the topic of GGY ever actually came up in their conversations, or if the topic of Greg being GGY came up either. It would add a whole new layer of things if Ellis did know, and it could be why he didn't try to stop Greg from changing the story. (Being forced into submission under the threat of him or his family being harmed in some way, it would make more sense than him just being entirely thoughtless and choosing to let Greg change it all despite how hard Tony worked on it.)

I apologize if this is alot, I just really like talking abt this kind of stuff and the whole GGY thing in general, there is so much missed plot potential 😭😭

I AM HERE TO PROVIDE THE ANSWERING LIKE 2 DAYS LATER

Okay so.

This is gonna turn into a shitty essay so more below the cut

Tony doesn't talk to his friends. Communication is key in any relationship, and he doesn't seem to understand or utilise that. He doesn't tell Ellis or Greg how he feels about things, about his plans, and so on; and it leads to him always doing things on his own now.

I think the GGY trio has a flawed friendship.

Tony and Ellis are the root of it since were friends first-- since childhood. They should be close and know the most about each other; Greg joined the trio last and remains mysterious. It's probably canon that Tony and Ellis never even met the real Gregory, the one in SB and parts of RUIN. Therefore it's not really Gregory to blame for anything Greg does, but the Mimic/glitchtrap/Afton, whoever you perceive it to be

And so, I won't count Gregory entirely because he was being mind controlled and all that. 'Greg' is causing many of the issues between them, it seems, but there's also this oneeee big problem.

Communication.

It's like he expects them to read his mind, to just know what's going on in his head.

I think Ellis and Greg really did want to help, but Tony just... Went off on his own, doing his own thing out of impatience. He did the entire thing without them.

It is more likely it's the former, though, and Greg would've given Ellis the idea. He needed a coverup, and Tony's little story was too close to the truth; what if others got suspicious?

The thing is with this... Are they really assuming? Ellis just knows Tony always starts without them. He never talks to them about ideas, he just goes off and does it alone. If Ellis (and ig Greg) feel like they can't have input, why would they interfere? And maybe that's why Tony feels like they assume he'll do it all, on purpose.

I wonder though if that's actually what's going on...

I think changing the story was maybe Ellis and Greg's way of getting him back (and I've heard some mutuals share this thought), either upon realising Tony has written it all himself, or they'd planned it when they noticed Tony already going off on his own for the millionth time.

So Greg would've spoken to Ellis, maybe brought up his insecurities. I don't know if Ellis is worried about Tony moving on, given how much closer he is with Greg now than him-- that's just a headcanon I have. But if it were canon, 'Greg' would 100% use that to manipulate Ellis into helping him write a new story as payback. I think he'd hesitate, but in the end be convinced.

And it is hard to manipulate him like that. "Change the story your friend worked so hard on because if you don't, he'll hate you." I think it'd be hard to convince him at all. How does that make sense? But Greg is persistent and Ellis is scared of losing his best friend

Ellis, of course, doesn't communicate either. None of them do. And I think it's definitely 'Greg' making the friendship between the two worse, stirring the pot instead of helping like the real Gregory would.

But honestly... I don't think they got to know the real Gregory before one of them died and the other saw missing posters of his only two friends all over town a few days later.

They're such a tragic friendship but it's interesting to think about... I love talking about relationships between characters especially tragic ones auughhh. This is why whatever happened exists specifically

I hopeeeeee. Everything here makes sense. I'm not always good at writing my thoughts unless I have someone else to bounce off of in a conversation, because that makes me think more about specific things and gives me ideas etc

But I tried!! So enjoy that abjshdhebjd

[blackroseguzzi]

Girl Next Door Part 5

Summery: ‘I love you’ and ‘I’m sorry’. Something good happens before something bad.

Sitting at your desk inside your small bedroom, you stared at your old MacBook. The college essay prompt was written in bold letters on the top of your document.

‘Discuss an event that sparked a period of personal grown and a new understanding of yourself and others.’ 

Before today you had been stumped, having complete writers block when it came to this important paper. You felt a tear roll down your cheek as your fingers started typing feverishly over the keyboard. The words effortlessly coming out of you in your emotional state. After the events that had happen in the last few weeks, you knew just what you had to write about. 

Exactly two weeks ago you had been sitting in that same seat, staring at the snow falling from the sky out your bedroom window. You couldn’t find any motivation to write this paper. You were a small town girl living in the suburbs, with zero crime and white picket fences. You had good grades, a great family life, and you were not some leper in society. You fit in well with most, especially with your neighbor Kai, who you had been hooking up with for the last 7 months. 

It was hard to believe it had been that long since you shared your first intimate moment together. You guys didn’t talk much about your relationship status, hell you didn’t speak of it at all. You were best fucking friends, and both you and Kai didn’t want to discuss what your new level of friendship was doing to your old one. 

Your thoughts were pulled from you as your phone rang beside you.

It was Kai, so you decided to answer. “What’s up?”

“Can I come over? I just really need to get out of this house,” You could hear it in his voice that his parents were arguing. Winter was always at her girlfriends, and Vincent hadn’t been living there for years, so you knew it was just Kai home with the two of them as they were at each others throats.

“Yeah of course, I’m just finishing up my essay.” You lied. Kai thanked you before hanging up the phone. You frowned as you looked to your empty document on your computer screen. Sighing, you shut the laptop and got up from your seat at your desk. You sulked down the  stairs moments before Kai’s hand banged on your front door. 

He looked tired and worn out as you invited him inside. Your parents had taken a mini vacation for themselves for the 26th anniversary so you had the house to yourself all week. You hoped someday you’d still be in love with your husband 26 years in, just as your parents were. 

He rubbed the fallen snow out of his brown shaggy hair. “Hey, thanks for letting me come over. I hope I’m not interrupting anything?” You looked down at your appearance and suddenly felt a wash of embarrassment wash over you as you looked down at your yoga pants and Baggy sweatshirt with a guacamole stain from your afternoon snack lingering on the chest. 

“No god Kai, you know you’re always welcome over.. Especially when your parents get like that.” You smiled lightly at him, nodding at him to follow you up the stairs. 

You got to your bedroom door and entered the mess of your headquarters. Your room was a vibrant coral color, but the artwork on your walls were of dark comic book covers and thriller movies. The vast difference in the interior design of your room always gave kai a warm feeling in his heart. 

Kai plopped down on your unmade bed, his back falling back as he stared at the ceiling which was scattered with stick on glow in the dark stars from your childhood. 

“You know, sometimes I wish they would just fucking give up already.” Kai closed his eyes for a moment, fighting back the emotions pulling at him from the inside. “They’re just going through shit after your dads’ accident. It can’t be easy for either of them, or for you.” 

You took a sip from your iced coffee that had been sitting so long in your quest to break your writers block that the ice was already melted. 

“Its been years y/n, this isn’t going to get better. It's just gotten worse over the last year, and I feel like I can’t leave home. I can’t leave her with him.” He sat back up, his eyes were glassy. You knew he was talking about his mother. She was the brunt of all his father’s PTSD. 

You had overhead your mom talking with your dad about how Kai’s mother had been showing up with bruises on her arms lately and that she was worried about what was going on in the Anderson home. You knew that Kai’s dad was a dick, but you really didn’t know how bad until you had found out he was leaving marks on wife. 

Casting your eyes away from him, you fidgeted in your seat, “I’m sorry, I wish I could make things easier for you.”

“You do. Seriously you’re the only good thing in my life,” his words made your head shoot up and your eyes locked into his. He was smiling sheepishly, and you wondered how you had gotten so lucky as to have him.

“You don’t mean that,” Your voice came out as a quiet whisper. You felt your chest tighten at the words he had spoken to you. He had always been sweet but something in his words felt different today, like they were heavier than normal.

“Y/n, I know things with us are unusual and we’ve never really talked about what we are. I just want you to know that I love you. I love you as a friend and I love you as something more. I always will.”

It had been two days since Kai had confessed his love to you, and you froze and all you could do was kiss him in fear he was going to expect a reply. You didn’t want to complicate things more, and you really were starting to worry what was going to happen when you went off to college…if you went off to college. 

You had other things to worry about today of all days because even though two days ago Kai told you he loved you, it had been two weeks since your missed period. 

You stood in the bathroom of your home with a pregnancy test in a cup of your own piss. You paced the bathroom, biting your thumb nail and going through all the other options of why you could have missed your period. I mean there was stress, that was a big one. You had been under so much stress since applying for colleges, the essays lay dormant in your document drafts. 

“Im so fucking stupid,” You whispered to yourself as you leaned over the sink, staring at yourself in the mirror. Your hair was slung in a messy bun and the mascara smudged on your eyelids from the tears that fell from your eyes.

You pulled out your phone, realizing that it had been 10 minutes since you had stuck the test in your urine. It was clearly enough time to give an accurate result.

You slowly made it over to the back of the toilet, your eyes smashing shut as you picked up the stick. You prayed, prayed to a god you hardly believed in, but you told him that if he cared at all about you that he would let you off the hook just this once. Please dear god, don’t let me be-

PREGNANT

The words om the little electronic test were clear as day, and you dropped the stick with a shaky hand and covered your mouth. The tears escaping and cascading down your face. 

How did this happen? How would you explain any of this to Kai.

Kai. Oh my god, Kai. 

You were supposed to go over his house for a movie night tonight, but you couldn’t even fathom how you were supposed to break this news to him. 

You picked up the test off the ground, the words pregnant still permanently written on the clear blue test in your hand. You chucked it hard at the wall, the test clanging against the tile of your bathroom. ‘FUCK!,” You angrily yelled out. You stared at the stupid stick that lay flat on the floor. Your hands were sweaty and your throat felt like it did when you were 5 and found out you had an allergy to shellfish.

You grabbed your phone off the sink and pulled up Kai’s number, texting him a quick message that you were headed over. 

Entering the Anderson household you rushed right to the basement, walking by Winter and her parents at the kitchen table. They awkwardly looked between themselves at the odd actions of their neighbor. It wasn’t unusual that you walked into their house without knocking, but you usually said a quick hello. Tonight you were on a mission.

Kai sat on the couch, his laptop on his lap when you rushed down the stairs. Kai’s eyes grew wide as you walked down the stairs quickly, letting tears flow freely from your eyes,“woah woah, what’s the matter?”

 He shoved the laptop off of him and walked briskly to meet you in the middle of the room, grabbing you in a secure hug. He rubbed your back as you cried into his chest. 

“Are your parents okay, what’s happening?” He pulled your shoulders away from him, concern wrecked his face as he watched you shake your head. 

“My parents are drinking fucking mojitos on the beach right now,” You sniffled, gaining some composure and looking at Kai for the first time since you barged into the basement. 

He looked terrified, but you knew he would look even more terrified when you told him why you were upset in the first place. 

“Okay good, that’s a start. What’s going on then?” He questioned you, but all you could focus on was the sweet tenderness of his warm hands moving up and down your arms to comfort you. You wanted to soak every inch of him in before you ruined your relationship forever.

“I need to sit down, I need to sit,” Kai moved you slowly over to the couch and you plopped down on the old sofa that harbored so many memories. It was probably where you got yourself into this mess anyway. The thought made your skin grow goosebumps. 

“You’re freaking me out, y/n. What’s going on?” Kai’s eyes were wide, and he looked you over for a sign of an injury. Everything in you wanted to just cling to him and feel his body close to yours. If only you could close your eyes hard enough that when you opened them you’d be awake from this terrible nightmare. 

“I feel like I can’t breathe.” Nobody told you what an anxiety attack felt like, but you were pretty sure that you were experiencing one.

“Okay listen to me, whatever is going on I’ll help you, just talk to me.” 

You shook your head, feeling the heaviness overtaking your chest and you continued to cry. Kai ran his hands through his hair before pulling you to his chest and gently shh-ing you until he felt your body let go of the tenseness.

Moments passed until you felt strong enough to leave the comfort of his hold on you. Kai’s eyes searched you more for answers, and you couldn’t stop repeating yourself. “I’m sorry Kai, Im so sorry.”

“Woah chill, y/n. What is fucking happening here?” He was drained of color seeing you this way, and you just had to rip the band aid off.

“I’m pregnant, Kai.” 

[metamatar]

Wish i could read your communist essays about sasuke

look anon im sorry i don't love naruto enough (just like it hates women) to actually write a effortpost but. sasuke is the heir of a large landowning clan destroyed by the shoring up of modern state power. fire country and hidden leaf are in a precariously balanced relationship bc the individual ninja has the power to completely transform the relationships of production but the individualised location of that power means the feudal form remains powerful by personalising domination. we cannot simply appropriate the machines in naruto universe anymore.

sasuke's rebellion against the hidden village being coopted into homilies abt friendship & family was really sad and i actually did not end up finishing the manga bc it got so much worse after orochimaru. the plotting was haphazard and their was a lack of genuine exploration of the worldbuilding in favour of bigger and better powers.

[hitomisuzuya]

Hiii! Ily and your works, so if you're feeling tired feel free to let this rot in your inbox.

Can I have more touchy, feely, clingy, reader? Except they're like, totally stressed out with assignments and reports, and responible adult stuff x Scara? Sorry if you don't write for modern au.

a/n: Rest assured, I do write Modern AU😊 I hope you enjoy. Also I hope you don't mind that I wrote it that they are together in college. I don't feel comfortable writing any AU related to highschool, reason being that I am not a minor. I know I write for minors, and I don't mind that but I won't write anything related to writing the reader as a minor.

Scaramouche x reader who is clingy and stressed with responsibilities. SFW. Set in college years. Fluff.

You sighed, your head coming to rest with a soft thump against the table. "I am never going to get this done," you groaned as frustration and stress set in. "I still have two more reports to write that are due tomorrow. I'm so tired."

"Then take a break, it can wait," Scaramouche replied. You'd met him during your first semester. Friendship blossomed into a relationship during those months. When he'd finally asked you out, this is how he'd done it: "Get ready, we are going off campus to get lunch. This place is crawling with shitheads today."

Placing a hand on the desk next to you, Scaramouche looked over your shoulder. You were writing a very advanced essay for your English Lit. class, one about interpreting the themes in The Glass Menagerie*. "You really should've started this sooner, idiot. You've known about it for a week now. There was a lot of ways that the play could be emotionally interpreted.

You put a hand over his, squeezing it for extra comfort. You'd always been clingy, even insisting that you hold his hand every time you were walking with him in public.

Even though it took Scaramouche awhile to get used to your clingy nature, he didn't mind. In fact, he enjoyed that quality about you. It showed him that you genuinely wanted to be with him. If you squint hard enough, and they are there don't worry, he can be clingy at times as well. He will never admit this out loud.

The comfort you felt from having your hand on his head had relaxed you into a sudden slumber. Sighing, he waited for a few minutes to gingerly pull his hand out from underneath yours. Draping a blanket over your shoulders, he grabbed your stuff off the desk and flopped down (quietly) onto your head.

When you awoke in the morning, your back aching and already panicking that you'd fallen asleep without realizing it, you quickly calmed down. Three reports were stacked neatly on your desk with a note on top of them. It read as follows: I've gone to bed. I stayed up all night writing these for you. Reword them in some places so your Professors don't catch on.

Bless his soul. Scaramouche may be difficult to deal with sometimes, but he really loves and cares about you.

*The Glass Menagerie is a play written by the great Tennessee Williams. I had the pleasure of reading it during my own brief stint in college. I highly recommend it.

[qprsmackdown]

what submissions have the most convincing propaganda: rather for being silly or being serious

hi anon. mod zazie here. i read through every single one of the submissions to answer this because i am insane. and the results are as follows ^-^

techno & phil fans are INSANE over "for you phil, the world!!" as they should be!! i, too, read bunfloras' phil & techno fics. but even if i didnt already know who emeraldduo was, you all have VERY GOOD propaganda. Immortal lifelong best friends... <3

dsmp fans i love you im holding out my hand to you in a gesture of friendship. hello. both mods are also mcyt fans and dsmp fans. we know abt characters vs ccs. we also despise cc!dream. you are safe here. im sorry that previous polls have traumatized you :((

c!tubbo/c!ranboo fans also fucking turned out you have VERY convincing propaganda

ive never read the locked tomb, know nothing of the characters, but to the submitters who sent in Camilla Hect and Palamedes Sextus youve convinced me. VERY good job. where can i find your media i need to learn more. no like fr

jrwi fans are you okay. good lord /pos. also youll be pleased to know WE HAVE NOT ONE BUT TWO SUBMISSIONS OF THE GREATER MANA POLYCULE

to the etho/skizz fan who submitted an essay. hi. i think youre so right for putting them in a httyd au. very convincing propaganda. also are you okay.

hi silmarillion fans. do you need hot cocoa.

jrwi fans are literally so not normal about their guys. sorry to call you out but oh my god not a single one of you is normal /pos. its great.

not a fnaf fan but "Theyre also both canonically queer, if that helps. That has nothing to do with the lobotomies or the dying and being revived as a soulless walking corpse, though." is the sentence of all time. i hope whoever wrote that is doing well.

good evening to the homestuck fan who wrote jake & dirk propaganda so convincing that for a moment i wanted to go check out their media only to remember its Homestuck and ONLY to the homestuck fan who wrote jake & dirk propaganda so convincing that for a moment i wanted to go check out their media only to remember its Homestuck.

we've been over the jesus christ/mary magdalene submission but did you know apparently there's actual evidence to back it up? lots of it in fact? i did not expect to read that tonight (for future reference slash in case you're curious i am an atheist & cycad is christian)

the little women fan has some SERIOUS propaganda. my respect o7

hello to the autistic sp (south park) fan who wrote a genuine essay on kenny mccormick and eric cartman. wish you well (and like, we got a voltron submission as well. i dont know either of those shows/fandoms at all besides vague knowledge that they're not great but eh we're here to have fun. who cares (this is in response to you mentioning you didnt know if sp was allowed (i dont know actually youd have to ask cycad but im like 95% sure its fine (can you tell i have adhd))))

GIGOLAS FAN SPOTTED. they didnt write a lot of propaganda but HELL YEAH WE GOT SOME LOTR FANS HERE. theyre so qpr to me you dont even KNOW

i didnt even think about link/zelda being a qpr before this but you have convinced me. youre so right. they Are

besties who drink poison together STAY together!!! (merlin and arthur). fuck yeah baby!!! i have never seen merlin bbc

oh moirails are a homestuck thing i saw those in our asks and was unsure what they were

CANON QPR IN FABLE SMP? oh i need to check that out. fable smp fans ik this is a long shot but if anyone wants to give me reccomendations for where to start watching.

hiya qsmp fans. no need to worry you have turned out in both numbers AND propaganda. wowzers.

we have One submission for q!quackbur but now im wondering why no one has submitted c!quackbur. theyre literally homoeretic business rivals whose relationship could be viewed as platonic or romantic. smh

Roman and Youngblood from Roleslaying with Roman have very dedicated fans.

divorce quartet the divorced qp polycule ever but also im very biased. (both scott/cleo and scott/martyn were submitted multiple times)

we have some very fun ocs & real life qp relationships and im so here for it.

oh hey lifesteal smp i know those guys. wow damn theyre kinda fucked up arent they.

POLYARCHIVES SUPREMACY <3 BASEDBASEDBASED

POLYMECHS SUPREMACY ALSO SO BASED

Hi. Person who submitted both jesus/mary magdalene and now hamlet/ophelia. I love you. You are here to cause CHAOS and i for one applaud you for it. Can we kiss /j

[kaisacobra]

Thank you for saying that it really means a lot, I actually used to write fan-fiction a couple years back and I’ve recently tried to start again but I’m very critical of what I write and how I write it so I’m incapable of producing a single chapter.

Keep it mysterious, I’ll be eagerly awaiting whatever you gift us ✨

Now that you mention it, yes I completely understand what you mean about R not being able to be extremely cold to Tara. R seems like the type of person who’d be hurt and disappointed, someone who wouldn’t necessarily be cold to Tara but would definitely hide from her. For R I’d imagine it’d be an internal battle of what she wants versus what she deserves, we already get a feel for that in the first chapter but it was easier for her to choose what she wants- which is to provide whatever comfort and happiness Tara wants because she loves her so much over what she deserves- someone who cares about her in a consistent manner and not only when it’s convenient (boo Tara😡). After Tara’s outburst I think R would have to force herself in every way possible to really process that she can’t put Tara’s needs above her own anymore, as much as she loves Tara doing that would reinforce the notion that everything Tara said is true. We know she always runs back but now that’s she’s been ridiculed for it she can’t.

The way she’s always there for Tara makes me wonder about her background. Maybe this is TMI, but I personally have experienced many relationships like this in the past. My father abandoned my sister and I at a very young age, so part of the reason I would always be there for them and never left first even when I should’ve but wouldn’t- was because I never wanted them to feel as unloved and unworthy as I did when my father left me. By the time I was a teenager I’d already forgiven him for all the abuse my family endured because of him, in my heart nobody could ever hurt me the way he hurt me- so I’d forgive them even though the people around me would expressively tell me not to, you know? But im older now and I stand my ground, i can leave when if its what’s best for me and not get too caught up in what’s best for them.

I’m from California by the way! It’s 10:30PM right now, you’re from Brazil though? That’s so cool! Did you grow up there? My parents were born in Mexico but they moved to USA in the late 1980’s, I wanna move to Mexico and live there for a couple years because my mother loves and talks about her hometown so much, the idea of seeing where she grew up in person and picturing her as a little girl warms my heart.

- ☘️ (I’m gonna use this as my anon tag from now on)

I feel like everyone is gonna be critical when it comes to their own stuff, like, I'm not kidding when I said i thought second best wasn't that good, specially because I used to be an essay tutor/monitor at school and my writing had to be more than perfect. Just remember that usually you're gonna be more critical of your work than other people and it doesn't mean that what you write is actually bad.

I'm so sorry that happened to you and I'm glad that you can stand your ground now!💪 I know this will sound oddly ironic but all the background information I have on R is about... Tara. In my head, R is divided by past (beginning of friendship, woodsboro), present (the current mess) and future (what's gonna happen) so, in a way, maybe her life is all about Tara😔

I don't think R's family are gonna make an appearance so I'll leave it up for you guys to hc whatever you want as R's reason for being so attached to Tara.

California seems so nice! And yeah, i grew up here and i wouldn't have it any other way🤭 Maybe this happens to everyone in their own home country but i just love my culture and history so much, I can't imagine living anywhere else.

Mexico sounds super cool! I've been wanting to go there, specially in 2026 because of the world cup (really wanted to see it live) but i dont think it's gonna happen😔 Either way it's a beautiful country i wanna visit someday and i definitely have to start improving my spanish.

[quiznak-ofgrayskull]

Um. I think I just wrote a whole essay on Ninjago love triangles I'm so sorry.

Has anyone ever touched on the parallels that Ninjago draws with its two love triangles? Like. Nya and Misako, Jay and Wu, and Cole and Garmadon (as the love triangles are presented in canon). Like I know both love triangles were shoehorned in, blah blah blah, but I enjoy the trope shush.

So like both Misako and Nya (until her elemental powers were revealed to her) were both normal people who were stuck with all the cool elemental masters.

Jay and Wu were the usual "good guy" in accordance to how love triangles must work, that the person typically ends up with. Falls in line with the "young Wu was an absolute dumbass" hc (is it canon? idk-) as well as with both of them being a bit more romantic in nature (the awkward s1 date, and the sappy love letter)

And Cole and Garmadon are the "bad boy" alternative (once more in accordance to Love Triangle Rules, and possibly one of the main reasons the Nya Jay Cole love traingle does not work - Cole doesn't fit this), and they come in to disrupt the "endgame" couple. And character parallels are a bit more difficult to draw because Cole really doesn't fit this, but I suppose they could both be more subdued characters (compared to Jay and young Wu), as well as not very romantic in nature (Garmadon not writing his own sappy love letter (that we know of), Cole in general). Cole is definitely more level headed than Garmadon but still.

And then where the relationships diverge: The endgames. Because Misako actually went with the "bad boy" character, which from what I've seen doesn't happen often. That sort of character is typically there to add tension for the inevitable endgame, but Misako actually did choose Garmadon.

And Nya chose Jay, which does fall in line with the actual love triangle logistics.

I'm not good enough at analyzing things to pinpoint exactly what this means about the characters, if it were to mean anything at all. Like, is there technically a right choice? Is the "good" guy the right choice, and did Nya learn from Misako's errors? Did Misako make a specific error that Nya never even had to face? Did Nya make the wrong choice because she'd never considered anything else before? (Or are they different characters under different circumstances in which different choices were made, may the be good or bad?) And listen, I am well aware that the love triangle isn't good writing. I enjoy it because I am stupid. But if there was a point trying to be made, I think it's interesting.

Plus how it affects the relationships between the romantic rivals. Brothers and best friends, respectfully. Like, the rift that it creates between both groups, and the friendships that have the potential to be destroyed over romance- which is actually quite rare from what I've seen in these tropes. Typically the romantic rivals aren't so close? They know each other, of course, but rarely is their own relationship being compromised a focal point. And yeah, I know it's annoying to see romance being put on a pedestal above friendship, but it's also just interesting to me.

Like, Misako, and Wu and Garmadon's rivalry mattered so much to the two of them that years later, Wu got mad over the letter. Like, as adults, that affected them. And Jay and Cole being able to resolve it, and be friends despite it is also very cool to me.

And Wu being hung up on it shows the general lack of resolution that he got from that. He might have been waiting for a response for his letter, that he put all his heart into (to the point he forgot to sign it), only to find out, in a letter from Misako he had hoped would be for himself (or maybe one from his brother), that the two were together. Maybe that stung a bit, that Misako hadn't even mentioned his letter. Maybe he wondered about it, why she never mentioned it one bit. Maybe he put the pieces together, but brushed it aside as jealous speculation, in favor of trying to support his brother. Maybe that's why he got so angry when he found out.

And I think we can agree that it never really mattered as much to Cole as it did to Jay, which also makes for an interesting dynamic. Their friendship was strained more so from the rivalry than the romantic rivalry. Jay was super invested in it, and Cole probably just wanted things to go back to normal (maybe he was just competitive, or got carried away in general). And I think Jay and Cole's friendship being more important, and resolved first, is actually really cool. I really love that scene in season four, always have.

Not to mention Jay and Cole being separated for a long period of time between seasons 3 and 4, which let feelings, and misdirected anger and grief fester. At that point, it was a lot more than Nya.

Same with Wu and Garmadon, probably. Not so much canon evidence, but I can imagine that after so much, they got bitter over the whole thing, too. Wu did, at least.

Okay I think that's it? If anyone wants me to rant more about the ninjago love triangles I will do so gladly (clearly). Though I severely doubt there's a market for this. Pretty sure it's one of the least favorite writing decisions ever made in the show. That does not stop me though-

[tamelee]

did you ever watch tokyo ghoul? do you know about the main character ending up with a girl he always had a crush on but he was shipped a lot with his male best friend and all the gay shippers lost it when they revealed the guy and girl not only explicitly being in love but also have sex? i heard it's not in the anime and the manga is more explicit but yeah. i watched tokyo ghoul once when i was younger but didn't finish it cuz i got bored of it but i do remember the main guy having a crush on a girl, but idk if the girl is the same one he ended up having sex with later on. i just know there was a girl in the beginning and then he met a girl (or it was the same one? idk) later on in the ghoul community. he was good friends with his male friend throughout the whole thing, they were childhood friends, and he stuck with him the whole time. when i found out about ppl's reactions to this i wanted to know about the relationship to see if it's like sns lol since they have a similar "childhood friends to lovers" situation but from what i remember the mc did like a girl. but he also had a cute friendship with the guy, i think i remember a really emotional moment between them, and the guy's friend also ended up dying? like the really popular pic from this anime, idk if you've seen it, where the white haired guy is carrying another guy, that was the mc and his friend. also ppl on anime twt like to use this anime and its ships to prove how when yaoi fans hate on a girl that gets in the way of their gay ship it's usually cuz of misogyny. that's actually how i found out about this lol . cuz this girl apparently isn't a hated character like sakura, or has legit reasons and traits about her that are misogynistic in writing therefore not likeable like hinata, but ppl still hated on her like crazy when this was revealed.

Oh, I don't think I actually know anyone that finished watching the Anime it got so boring for sure -.- I think, although I don't really remember, I really liked Season 1 and then struggled through the second one, then dropped it eventually. I still really want to read the Manga because I've seen a lot of people say it is SO much better and that the Anime ruined it? The art from the few panels I've seen are so beautiful 🥹 but it's a shame if that's true because the concept of the story I think is really cool.

(also, that OST 👌) Uh, I only remember this purple hair girl and I know what the best friend looks like and that I really liked him, but other than that I have no clue anymore, sorry 🫣

Cute though~

"also ppl on anime twt like to use this anime and its ships to prove how when yaoi fans hate on a girl that gets in the way of their gay ship it's usually cuz of misogyny. that's actually how i found out about this lol . cuz this girl apparently isn't a hated character like sakura, or has legit reasons and traits about her that are misogynistic in writing therefore not likeable like hinata, but ppl still hated on her like crazy when this was revealed."

I don't know anything about this regarding TG but yeah, people in the SNS fandom who don't like Sakura and/or Hinata get that thrown to their heads all the time but it is a shallow assessment that doesn't take anything else into consideration. This idea isn't entirely baseless though because it does happen a lot in many fandoms gosh. But in Naruto's case it's just... not the same *childish-foot-stomp* 😆 The entire foundation of the story is involved, its Themes rely on Naruto AND Sasuke, they live the problem and in the end are the solution, they are literally the big 'why' of its story. I mean I probably could write a thousand essays on that alone... And so, controversial opinion maybe, but I don't think it's very valid to compare Sakura and Hinata with other female characters regarding things like this because of Kishimoto's intentions (which I get not everyone agrees with this method but.. yk) and the way he wrote them to convey what he wanted to tell. In that sense they are merely literary tools used to show contrast in order to explain what the other end of that contrast means for Naruto and Sasuke without actually having to spell it out... and it's so cleverly done but it makes a discussion about female characters (especially a generalization) and the way they are treated difficult. Nonetheless, it's always an interesting conversation though because that line between a character being allowed to have a flaw or criticizing the character meaning it's misogyny can be very blurry at times...

[swordfright]

please write that essay

I assume based on your timing that this ask is in reference to this post, in which case I'm sorry it took me a couple days to get around to answering! This is not gonna be super well-organized but here are my thoughts:

The lore tidbit about c!Quackity actually having WON the bet with Glatt is literally the best possible way that whole situation could have gone. It’s such a solid storytelling move and I respect cc!Q to the moon and back for confirming it, both because I think c!Q's actions after having won the bet are very in-character for him and also because this option is, simply put, more narratively satisfying than the alternative. I'll explain why I think that.

c!Quackity's whole character arc is about belonging and agency and, importantly, how the pursuit of those things can go wrong. When he first joins the server he struggles to find somewhere to belong and gets used by others. His later attempts to exercise agency in order to foster his idea of a safe and stable community (yes, I'm including Butcher Army here) largely end in disaster. So eventually, Q establishes his own country, his own place where he can control every potential element and risk factor, but arguably he does so at the cost of love and friendship and community, the things he wanted to foster and maintain and protect in the first place. His defining fears about community safety eventually become reduced to fears about personal safety. To me, it’s a very clear negative character arc. When Q makes the bet with Schlatt’s ghost and ends up torturing c!Dream for the revival book, the audience are led to assume it’s because he lost the bet and is still beholden to Glatt in this one final way.

The exact nature of his and Schlatt's relationship prior to Schlatt's death carries some degree of ambiguity, but it's pretty widely interpreted as an abusive romantic relationship, and I'd argue that canon supports this interpretation. They were engaged following the Manberg coalition, and we know their relationship was increasingly rocky during this period. If you subscribe to this particular interpretation of their relationship (which I do because again, I believe canon supports it), then this adds a certain weight and gravity to Q's bet with Schlatt's ghost. The bet becomes a horrible postmortem extension of this toxic relationship that has deeply left its mark on c!Quackity, and Q losing the bet puts him in a vulnerable position both psychologically and literally. He is still beholden to his shitty ex, despite having put him in the fucking ground. That's a powerful motivation to get the book and be done with Glatt forever --- so it makes sense that when Q started torturing Dream for the book, many viewers automatically assumed it was because Q lost that bet.

Personally, I never really liked that assumption, because I feel it lets Q off too easy. It's too convenient an excuse. It dismisses the horror and cruelty of Q's deal with Sam by allowing Q the plausible deniability of desperation, characterizing the torture as his final desperate attempt to escape Schlatt's legacy, i.e. “My abuser made me do it, I’m still being threatened and coerced, I’m not culpable for my own actions!” (Which isn't even a justification that c!Quackity himself would ever use, so it's frustrating to see viewers fall back on it. The c!Quackity woobification in this fandom is much worse than the c!Dream woobification but let's leave that discussion for another day.)

But then (BUT THEN!!!) we find out that no, c!Quackity didn't lose the bet, he actually WON. He didn't want that book for Glatt, he wanted it for himself. He tortured Dream for this reason and because he enjoyed torturing Dream, and it’s an amazing anti-reveal because it pulls the rug out from under you but it also makes perfect sense given the sort of person we’ve watched Q becoming over the course of the past year’s worth of lore content. It’s about cycles of violence! In a story that has been about cyclical violence from the beginning, this is a natural conclusion for Q's character arc. DSMP is a story about building as an escape, and escaping what you've built. And ironically, this reveal makes c!Quackity a perfect foil to c!Tommy because Tommy is an abuse victim who, in a lot of ways, strives to be better than his abuser (hello I realize this is a controversial opinion but whatever this is my post) and Quackity is an abuse victim who intentionally strives to out-do his abuser.

Finally, Q winning the bet with Glatt is like, the only option that carries any kind of narrative catharsis. Because if he’d lost the bet, it means that despite Q's tireless efforts to gain agency, he never truly succeeded and is still being used as a pawn. Which is boring imo! It’s literally “area man ends up exactly where he started," which can be a compelling arc but it's not the most compelling possible arc for this particular character in my incredibly biased opinion. Whereas Quackity having won the bet gives his character arc direction. The arc then becomes “area man strives against all odds to achieve agency, succeeds, forfeits humanity in the process.” Area man escapes cycle of abuse only to perpetuate it. Which I personally like because I think it's interesting!

It may not be an uplifting arc, but it’s an arc! It starts in one place and ends up somewhere else. It has momentum! Even though this reveal technically reflects “poorly” on Quackity’s character (idc lol he will be my forever babygirl no matter how many times he violates the Geneva Convention), it’s a plot twist that respects his character so much more than the alternative. There's only so far you can take a story about a guy being powerless. It's much more fun to tell a story where the powerless guy finally attains the agency he always wanted, but at a great personal cost.

(Coincidentally, this is also the reason I wish c!Wilbur's finale stream had ended not with him leaving c!Tommy but with him asking Tommy to accompany him to Utah and Tommy rejecting his offer. But I digress lmfao I'll be bitter about that storytelling decision on my own time)

Anyway, I think @elmhat phrased it really well when they said "We care about Quackity because of his choices." Not just what happens to him, but how he decides to react.

[dearweirdme]

one day I'll stop writing essays in your asks but your questions and the responses are always so interesting to me especially as a non taekooker! So here's another one,lol.

I always knew another member was coming to taes picnic. I knew for the same reason I wasnt surpised when 3 of the members performed at yoongis concerts.

BTS want to see army. That's their whole thing. If they can make time for it that's what they're going to do. I'll admit that I thought it was gonna be JK who came and I assumed it was going to be him up until I heard he left Korea again. Then I was pleasantly surprised when Jimin came.

Not to shade the person who is exhausted by the "vmin" soul mate thing but Jimin wasn't going to taes vicnic because of some elaborate ruse by hybe to push the soul mate narrative, like its not 2020. Nor do i think he was there to make it seem like their relationship is soooo strong.

I want to remind people this is the duo who people have joked about being divorced all year. They both have only recently started mentioning each other and hanging out so I definitely dont think they care about our perception of their closeness through a platonic soulmates lens.I think Jimin and taes friendship is beautiful and i think if youre lucky you'll have several playonic soul mates in your lifetime. I think thats what jimin and tae were/are saying when and if they still use that word about each other.

Its pretty obvious that Jimin was there, not for any elaborate narrative or as a flimsy substitute for Jk. Jimin came cause tae asked him too and beause Jimin enjoys seeing army. Its pretty in his nature to show up for his members and he misses army. He told us he did in his live less than 48 hours ago so why wouldn't he jump at the chance to see us/them?

As to why JK wasn't there its the same reason he didn't get on live for like a month. He had a schedule, he's very busy. And for any taekooker who worries or gets irrationaly annoyed by them not having as much time together, you should know that taekook is more used to each others schedules than any of us are. Im sure JK was worried about tae and missed him when tae was going non-stop as I'm sure tae is worried and missing JK now. But whatever you believe they're doing, jk not being there today doesn't change it and I'm sure he wish he could have been.

I dont see him not showing up as a grand scheme by the company to push any type of narrative but just obvious logistics. Frankly if JK was home and didn't have a schedule I think JK and Jimin both would have come.

((((And this is a bit of a tangent but regarding the idea that theres a fandom narrative that taekook isn't close, I personally am not a taekooker or a jikooker and have never seen that narrative in any of my fandom spaces. I don't think the majority of the Fandom outside of the straw lovers believes that at all, but i could be wrong. Now do I think there's a huge focus on their closeness, when it comes to marketing or pairing them up? No, lol.But if I'm in a queer relationship with my band mate and I'm not ready to be perceived by the public I would take there not being a huge focus or emphasis on my relationship as a blessing. Just a different perspective i thought id offer ,but I get pushing back on the narrative when you see it because honestly its annoying when anyone says two members arent close, but I will say ive never heard anyone say taekook isnt close personally.))

anyways that's my essay for the day and since I seem to be popping up here a lot I will sign off this time so in the future when i pop up you know it's me lol- BYM

Hi BYM-anon!

Sorry for being a bit late in responding!

I agree with most of your ask. I think the things we disagree on are that I think Tae and Jk are more to each other than friends, and I think a large portion of fandom actually does think Tae and Jk drifted apart between 2016 and 2020. I think most of fandom sees that they are close now, and have been for some years.. but there's still those (yes, probably Jkkrs mostly) that disagree.

I think in part the lack of Tkk footage is from allowing them privacy and safety. From Bighit's perspective, having an actual in band relationship must've been super unconvenient, no matter how they personally view queer relationships or Tae and Jk as persons, business wise it's seen as a risk. There's the risk of them breaking up, there's the risk of them having a rocky relationship with drama, there's the risk of them being distracted, there's the risk of discovery in a queer unfriendly country. So I think as soon as BH became aware, they introduced boundaries and rules Tae and Jk had to adhere to. Which isn't all too weird, because in 'normal' situations companies would also probably tell their dating coworkers to act professional. I think Tae and Jk, as well as the other members, do want their privacy. Was the intent from Bighit to protect them? No, I think they just want to protect their company. You can tell that at times Jk and Tae did not like the way they were treated.

How do Jk and Tae feel about the boundaries and rules they had to live by? Probably very conflicted. I think rationally they probably understood, but emotionally it was very hard and different situations probably came with varying feelings. There's so much to consider. There's the band as a whole, they wouldn't have wanted to put the other members' future at risk, they also wouldn't have wanted to put their own future at risk (though at some points they might've wondered if things were worth it). Keeping their relationship safe and hidden, was the safest way for them to carry on professionally and privately. But, being young and in love calls for feelings that are so strong.. they must've felt very frustrated at not being able to show that. I think they also felt the rules and boundaries were too strict, prohibiting them from even acting as close friends. Having to watch other members be close with your partner (having a full blown other ship to take root) while not being able to do much themselves. I think it truly hurt them.

We see a lot of "Jk is trying to hide" stuff, and I do think Jk is a bit more carefull (of sharing friendships and bonds in general), but when all you've ever known is to hide your relationship, that's what has become your safe place. I do believe Jk doesn't like the shippers comemnts in his lives, and justly so. It's people asking for information they have no right to.

Mentioning Tae and Jk in one sentence always comes with some tension.

[ipegchangbin]

hi z <3

im not good at writing and English isn't my 1st language so im super sorry in advance

im also bring to keep this as gender neutral as possible

dunno how open to this concept u are but : loser!chan and mean/bully!reader ? if not pls ignore/delete this ask lol

warning: unhealthy relationship dynamic

its not bullying out of malice but out of confusion, reader doesn't understand their feelings and takes them out on Channie who is head over heels for reader

uni/college setting would be perf for this channie does their hw, essays and other assignments for a little bit of their attention and reader plays around with him but gets upset at other girls who take interest in him

I really like this concept because of Chans ppl pleasing nature, there's just something so attractive about a strong buff man being desperate to please no matter what

this could be in form of doing assignments like I said but also bailing on band/sport practice because reader send him a nude telling him to come over or neglecting his needs to please them by performing oral on them until they come only to be send away ( and if he ends up cuming performing oral he gets made fun of and humiliated )

he doesn't know why he's so into them because on paper there's really not a single positive interaction between them but he really likes the way he gets butterflies every time they call him perv for getting an erection even though they rubbed their foot on his crotch in the middle of the busy library, he also sees the way they angrily stare every time a girl has the audacity to approach him, the way they go out of their way to humiliate this girl by spilling their drink or picking a fight with her

( I tried writing more nsfw but I am not very confident in doing so , so I will leave it at that , I will practice writing more but I just really like this dynamic and wanted to share )

with love, your bully anon

❕aforementioned warning: unhealthy dynamics

ive read this ask about 5 times over and i still melt at it. HELLO BULLY ANON youre doing things to me OUR TASTES CLICK SO MUCH???

really really love the way you put it: y/n cant really pinpoint what it is that they feel about chan, but their affection for him translates differently. they’re like fuckbuddies, a little more than just the usual “campus bully-picks-on-campus loser,” but less than an established relationship—at least, not yet.

maybe they were study peers: y/n needed to take extra time for their classes and chan wanted extra credits. they were unlikely seatmates, with y/n being restless and mighty while chan simply wanted to learn. eventually, what seemed to be something of a casual friendship became something a little more when they both realized they have some mutual feelings. y/n just doesn’t know what that feeling is; before they knew it, their display of affection towards him happened to be bedroom pain and pleasure.

imagine the possibilities with these two, though: picture y/n teasing chan and cockwarming him (either he is warming them or they are warming him), threatening him to finish their work before he gets to finish.

“no, no, —ah— not yet, channie. can you solve this last problem set for me? i’ll let you cum if you do.”

“oh, fuck—”

“do calculators talk, channie?”

they both sound a little stupid when they banter in (and out of) bed, but it’s better when y/n makes chan stupid from the fucking.

“can’t think straight in class, hm? can only think about me?” y/n scolded him in the emptiest hallway, slotting one thigh in between his legs.

“i-i, well, y-you sent the pic, and —ah— i couldn’t think straight.”

“but you were supposed to take my notes. aren’t you a useless little pervert? couldn’t even do the things i asked you to?”

they’re a lovely couple imo ^^ and i want to point out a particular thing you said:

there's just something so attractive about a strong buff man being desperate to please no matter what

😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 AGREED. ARE YOU READING MY MIND? this is precisely the reason why i bias ppl like chan. sub!chan makes so much sense in this scenario another thing about him that makes this better is that he allows them to walk over him. whether it be in a figurative or literal sense, he’d do anything: he’d compromise his reputation and allow y/n’s friends to laugh behind his back whenever they pass him by.

maybe he finds joy in the thought that y/n talks filth about him sometimes.

maybe he loves the thought that y/n thinks of him like that.

maybe he loves the thought that y/n possesses his thoughts so much he’d be willing to be their sore loser no matter what they do to him.

… im delirious now !!!!

& sorry i got back to this late because I NEVER REALIZED HOW MUCH WE ALL NEED TO INDULGE IN THIS THOUGHT! worry not btw, please indulge as much as you need to and no need to worry about fluency, english isnt my first language either <3

thank you for dropping by, bully anon! ily and i hope youre doing great, drop by again soon im looking forward to hearing more from you 🎤

[tworegimesof]

It’s me again, your biggest spammer atp lmao.

One of the reasons I love your stories so much is because you write relationships, romantic or otherwise, so beautifully. I loved your depiction of Aoba and Anko’s friendship in On a Distant Star - their bond transcends the usual human connection. That’s very rare to find, especially in a male-female friendship in writing.

It’s glorious to read about the messiness and complexity of interpersonal relationships in all their twisty beauty - especially when done by an author who knows the ins and outs of humanity. You can make a reader love even the most random background character who’s appeared for, what, a page? Their idiosyncrasies, their flaws, and their passions all shine through in your writing.

Not to mention that I LOVE your rarepairs. As for Raidō and Kurenai??? Hoooo boi I never thought I’d ship it more than her and Asuma 😂 (seeing the three of them and how they interacted in Storms, being so beautifully in character, was a treat. I wanna ramble more because there is SO MUCH). I didn’t even know sai/tenten existed until I discovered one of your fics and that sent me down a rabbit hole asw ahshshshs.

I’m so sorry for the long-winded essay I just wrote you 😂 I’m running on three hours of sleep and am jet-lagged as fuck. Not to mention I had to sit at my laptop for the better part of a day and hammer out two assignments due on the same day. So I apologise for any lack of clarity herein.

Anyway, I hope you have a lovely day! ☺️

Ah, it's not spam! I have Tumblr because I know readers sometimes feel more comfortable connecting here rather than leaving a kudos or comment.

I think I'm kind of a boring writer. My best stories don't have a lot in terms of plot, and mostly I just write what I want to read because I like so many rare pairs. I think we all want to feel a deep connection, platonic or romantic, and for some characters, like Aoba and Anko, I think them being very close friends makes more sense than a traditional romantic entanglement.

I think you're giving me too much credit lol I have just read a lot of books and seen messy people in action. I feel like I abuse the man versus self trope all the time, but that's what I'm really interested in, is how we lie to ourselves and betray ourselves to our own detriment. And the background characters are easier because there's more room to play around with them, and potential readers aren't invested in them the same was as they are with popular characters. Writing Kakashi puts my stomach in knots, but characters like Asuma and Raidou are easy peasy, because I know enough to make guesses and can be creative.

LOL Raidou and Kurenai only started because I thought it was lame for Kakashi and Asuma to be her two options. Raidou was just cute enough and you could see the leap between him to Asuma. LOL I'm never getting away from Storms. It's a mess in a lot of ways and there are things I would change, but from some of the comments I also feel like the people who needed to read it found it, so it stays. I just think that Lovesickness will be better, and a fuller picture of what could've happened.

I will maintain, until my dying day, that Sai and Tenten aren't a huge leap at all lol.

I don't mind the essays! And I definitely know what it means to be jetlagged and a student. I most certainly do not miss either. Thank you so much for reading and leaving such a sweet comment, take care!

(And find time away from you computer, learn from my mistakes and save your eyes and posture lol).

[thepineconelord]

ooh I would LOVE to hear your impressions of three or four cats. and the wife. and anybody else you choose

Sure thing bestie<333

For the cats I'll do Cassandra, Bombalurina, and Skimbleshanks since I don't think we've talked about them in depth.

Cassandra:

First impression: Kinda thought she was just like a cool, loner, suave kinda lady. Meant to represent a cat that really couldn't care less about you.

Impression now: She's kinda mystical and ethereal, I feel like she overhears all the gossip. I also still think shes a cool loner type.

Favorite moment: In 1998 I love the abrupt closeup for the "moonlit eye" line bcuz it always freaks people out.

Idea for a story: It'd be fun to have a story where she gets her fur ruffled a bit bcuz she's normally so unbothered.

Unpopular opinion: no romance for her she's too good for it.

Favorite relationship: Her and Alonzo awkward friendship

Favorite headcanon: She and Mistoffelees scheme together.

Bombalurina:

First impression: Just thought she was the typically "sexy mean girl" type character and didn't think about her too much tbh

Impression now: She's so ahefuehakfhdakfea I love how she is like a cornerstone of the community and how shes so caring, but also like she's such a baddie. Anyway I love her.

Favorite moment: In Bustopher Jones(1998) when Jenny gets the flower from him and she shoots him the dirtiest look for a split second.

Idea for a story: She should get to kill Macavity

Unpopular opinion: I don't think her an Demeter are dating or even sisters I think they've just trauma bonded

Favorite relationship: Her and Demeter would be the obvious choice, but tbh I think whatever her and Tugger have is really funny.

Favorite headcanon: She's definitely fucked Macavity and honestly had a pretty good time about it.

Skimbleshanks:

First impression: The silliest of all time :)

Impression now: The silliest of all time :)

Favorite moment: in the paris 1990 performace where he just yanks Mistoffelees around(pretty sure this was him its hard to tell).

Idea for a story: I think it's be cute to have a little story establishing how like all the London city employees know him

Unpopular opinion: He's probably one of the most disconnected from the tribe bcuz he's employed

Favorite relationship: honestly idk, maybe him and asparagus cuz they're like the only two of that age range.

Favorite headcanon: He actually wears the little waist coat. the humans put it on him.

I don't know if you wanted me to do your wife or mine so I'll do both.

Belos(i'm only giving my general impression bcuz I don't know that much): He's a Puritan, everyone is wrong about him. He'd probably creep me out and I probably wouldn't like him sorry. I probably wouldn't like the owl house in general tho. He's definitely a man, I like how strange and diseased he is and I love the look on people's faces when u say hes ur wife.

Ghostmaker aka Minhkhoa Khan <3:

First impression: I though his design was so cool and I was like "fuck i gotta figure out how to pirate comics so i can read about him" anyway here we are like a year(2 years maybe? idk anymore) later.

Impression now: he's so everything to me. I think he's such a complicated and pained guy and I love him the way he is. I think he's silly but in like a badass way

Favorite moment: When he kills madam midas its like The Moment of all time.

Idea for a story: What if....he was happy... and loved... idk

Unpopular opinion: Rhea Sinha was an interesting love interest and backstory element for him.

Favorite relationship: I love his strange and silly relationship with Icon I could write an essay about it.

Favorite headcanon: The only thing between him and substance abuse disorder is sheer force of will and the tools of modern technology.

anyway thats it :)