#also its a funny realization that i like moustache men a little too much lately

[batakrim]

No no no, you don't understand, I NEED this man

[the-hellion-studio]

Whom A God Loves Dies Young

This is the story of how Joey and Grant got together, from its bloom to its wither. This isn’t a happy story. Bittersweet at best.

Read on Ao3

Masterpost

Chapter 4- Two Can Play That Game

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

Stressful morning for Grant. He almost missed his train, he was too anxious and overslept, he didn't hear his alarm. His heart was beating hard when he passed the door of the studio. Why was he feeling like that? He should avoid coffee today. Wouldn't do good with his mood. He walked upstairs, hesitating an instant in Samuel's office. Should he go say hello to Joey? He did have something to say to him. The thought of it made him flustered and weak. It's been months since they were... Dating? Nothing of the sort had been said between the two men, but they sure were acting like they did. Kisses, cuddles, dried flowers between the pages of his folders. Joey's hand stroking through his hair at night. Grant could have never imagined Joey being so soft. Never he thought such a good thing could have happened to him. For once he felt like someone cared about him. Although it seemed obvious they were in love, Grant still wanted to be clear with Joey. He felt like it was important. 

"I love you..." He whispered, sitting down at his desk. 

Never these three words had been exchanged between them. He understood. It wasn't easy to say them. Especially for Joey, he thought. He was always so reserved with his feelings. Surely he was aching to say it, just as Grant did, but he was scared too. Maybe he was afraid Grant would reject him? 

Grant should reject him. 

Joey was having a breakdown in his armchair at work, an empty pack of cigarettes by his side. He couldn't get Grant out of his mind. Alcohol didn't help. Working way more than usual didn't help. It was driving him mad. He craved the kisses, he craved all the affection the man had for him. He didn't deserve this. He shouldn't allow it to happen. He was so weak willed, so pathetic to be needing Grant so much. What was Grant finding in him that made him stay? He was not a good person. Even Henry learned that in the end. He was rude, distant, he was avoiding Grant as much as he could at work... If he hated Grant so much, why was he asking him if he wanted to stay overnight, why was he still finding ways to be nice while being terrible to him at the same time? His brain was sending him mixed signals. He hated that. He just wanted this stupid thing to stop and be true to himself. But could he allow himself to do that?

The day passed slowly. Everyone left the studio one by one. Henry came to say goodbye, for once. He looked a little sad. Silence settled on the building as night laid its heavy mantle on the sky. Much earlier than the previous months. Damn November. Joey was still working, but his mind was elsewhere. He couldn't keep his focus on his drawings. He heard someone climb the stairs. Oh, at last. Maybe Grant would ravish him from his numb and sluggish state.

Hesitating silence.

Soft knock on Joey's door.

"Come in." Joey said, feeling himself bloom back to life.

Grant entered the office, always tiny and nervous, out of breath from having climbed the stairs so fast. He raised his head up to Joey, a big smile under his thick moustache.

"Good evening!"

Joey was so happy to see Grant he forgot to greet him. He held back a smile. What was it going to be today? Grant asking to stay over because he needed him, or did he just want to be close for a bit? A curious, inquisitive hum rang in his throat. Grant's face became a little pale despite his happy expression.

"How are you tonight?"

He played with his fingers, slightly jumpy. Joey raised an eyebrow.

"I'm fine. What brings you here?"

"Oh, uh- I just wanted to see you!"

Silence. Grant was struggling with something.

"Okay, uh. Joey... There is something I've been meaning to tell you."

Grant's voice was struggling to get out of his mouth. 

Joey got his attention to him, straightening the papers in front of him on his desk. Grant hugged himself, nervous. His gold eyes rose up to Joey again.

"I'm in love with you." Grant said quickly.

These words hit Joey like bullets. 

Oh no. 

Oh no.

Grant fell in love. He fell in love with him. Was he stupid? Why did he say that? How could he love someone like Joey? Why say it now, why here? Why? Why? Why? Disgusting. This little game went too far. Joey stared blankly at the wall in front of him.

Grant was kind. Grant was thoughtful. He was pleasing to be with. Joey had to admit he enjoyed his company. He loved to hear him laugh, hear him talk, hear him snore next to him in bed. The endless nights they spent together. How quickly did this summer passed? How quickly was he to fall for Grant? He realised that all these times he was getting himself sick over how he thought he was just playing with the other man, just abusing his kindness and his warmth, maybe he was actually not. Maybe he was also in love. It was not even an eventuality. He was. He was in love... And he hated that. Why was he always realising things so late. It's been three months. It was time to be finally honest about his feelings. Time to say he loved him too.

"I really went too far, didn't I?" Dry. Blank. He couldn't do it. He couldn't say it. What a coward. What an idiot.

"What?" Grant whispered, feeling tears rise in his eyes. This wasn't going as he thought it would.

"I..." He looked at Grant. "I'm sorry I played with you like that. I should have stopped sooner."

Grant felt his soul shatter. He couldn't understand what was going on. He held back his tears, his jaw trembling. After all they did, said, lived together? It was all fake? He couldn't believe it. He didn't want to. It didn't make sense.

"Joey, what are you saying?" His voice was so weak. 

Joey sighed. Why was he doing that. Why was he ruining everything. He stood up, walking past Grant to reach for the door.

"What I'm saying is that I don't want to see you anymore. I regret to have done this but we're not meant to be. It was a stupid idea."

Grant felt like he was falling. Why was he acting like that. It didn't feel sincere. He was silently looking at Joey, holding his breath. He placed himself between the door and Joey, blocking the way.

"Now you're gonna listen to me, Joey." Grant said firmly, despite being on the verge of tears.

Joey froze. All the times Grant said his name, it was soft, almost like a prayer. All the times he was whispering his name when they were in each other's arms, all the times he was screaming it in ecstasy... Love and kindness always surrounded him between Grant's lips. For the first time it was nothing more than a hiss. An agonizing animal's last cry. 

"Why would you do this? Why did you let me fall in love with you? Why did you take me in your arms if you didn't want me near you?" He wasn't holding back. His voice was cracking. His tears were rolling on his cheeks. 

Joey was looking down, away from him. He tried to walk around him to reach the door, wanting to escape the situation. Grant pushed him away from it and grabbed him by the wrist. The bad one. Joey winced, staying silent. He didn't dare moving.

"Answer me! I've been nothing but nice to you, I've devoted myself to you, I've done my best to make YOU happy!" He sobbed, taking a pause to take a deep, painful breath. "Why did you do this? Why are you like that? What the fuck is wrong with you?!" 

He pulled Joey away from the door, pinning his bandaged wrist against the wall over his head. The redhead didn't resist, he didn't want to risk hurting himself further.

Grant felt strangely good about this. Only now he realized he was holding Joey by his weakest point. He was in control, he thought. Joey was weak. Brittle. Frail. Grant was much bigger, much stronger than him. He could break him. Like he just broke his heart. He pushed his wrist harder against the wall. Joey let out a shaky whimper from between his clenched teeth.

"Oh, that's what it takes to make you talk?" 

He squeezed his wrist, a cruel spark in his eyes. He knew how it looked under the white strips of fabric. There was more than carpal tunnel problems. It looked like some kind of wild animal attacked him. Not even a few days ago he was helping Joey cleaning the wounds, putting clean bandages back on. He remembered laying a kiss on his palm before letting go. Why did Joey show him how vulnerable he was if it was all a game? If it was meant to stop so soon? It did not make sense. Joey was breathing fast. He looked like a scared rabbit. All curled up on himself, his body relaxed, motionless, only his chest wavering under his too large black shirt. The new flash of pain coming from his wrist ripped a new growl from him. His arm twitched. 

"Tell me, now. Why are you doing this to me? Why are you doing this to yourself? Talk to me."

 Tensed silence. Grant's bitter sobs. Joey was wincing from the pain.

"Oh, so you don't like hurting? Why are you doing this to everyone around you, then? Why are you so awful to Mr. Oswald? I know he values you. You're a dear friend to him! Why do you talk to him like that? Can't you see how much he loves you? Can't you see that hurts him? And why are you so awful to Samuel? He's a nice, creative, funny guy! He's worried for you too! He cares about you despite the SHIT you throw at him constantly! Henry loves you! Samuel loves you! Wallace loves you! I love you! No matter how horrible you are to us we are stupid enough to keep loving you! Why are you pushing all the people who love you away from you systematically? Why are you refusing their help? Why are you refusing their love? What makes you think it's okay to treat them like that? Why are you being such a piece of shit when I've seen- when we've seen how great you can truly be? Why are you hiding that? What makes you so scared of being a good person? Can you say why? Do you even know?"

Joey kept his mouth shut. A tear streamed down his face.

"Is that what you want? Being hurt back? Do you want to play this game?"

He could feel his fingers crack because of how hard he was gripping on Joey. He was hurting him. He deserved it. Joey was sobbing against the wall, his face down and away from Grant.

"I can do it too, see? I can stop being nice. I can be terrible to you too. You're not special. If anything, you're just like everyone else."

But then Joey raised his head. Slowly, struggling. His mouth twisted in pain, his face red and his eyes full of tears.  Grant realized what he was doing. Grant wanted to care. But his brain was so fogged up by a the anger and hurt, he couldn't. He knew he was really damaging Joey's wrist right now, but it was just too bad for him. He felt blood seeping through the white fabric onto his hand. 

"Let me go." Shaky, weak. Barely recognisable as Joey's voice. He broke down into tears as his sentence ended.

Grant stared. Unmoved. At least on the outside. He tugged on Joey's hand and slammed it hard against the wall again. Something definitely cracked. Joey's body tensed up and he yelped in pain, crying harder. Loud.

"LET ME GO. LET ME GO, GRANT!"

Now he was struggling to free himself from Grant's strong hold, weakly clawing at his arm, barely able to grip the fabric of his shirt. Frantic. Desperate. Scared. Grant never thought he would hear his name being screamed like that. Especially not coming from Joey's mouth. He looked at what he was doing in horror. Hearing Joey scream his name woke him up. This was a human being he was torturing like that. This was the man he loved that was crying and trying to break free from him.

He released his wrist.

He took a few steps back.

He put his hands over his mouth.

The second he was free, Joey pressed his injured arm against his chest, holding it with his other hand, dropping on his knees. His shoulders trembling and following his hard sobs. Grant was speechless. What did he do? He felt tears rolling down his face again. It burned. 

"... I'm sorry." He whispered as he ran out of the office, leaving Joey there.

NEXT CHAPTER

[thatonekawaiigirl13]

Who Said Death Was Easy? Death Note [Chapter Eight]

Chapter Eight: Debriefing 

[A/N: Wow, this is the longest chapter yet lmao, there was just so much...just a warning! Anyway, please let me know what you guys think! Any comments, whether positive or negative, are always welcome!]

Keiko’s POV:

Keiko stared out the window of the car, looking around at all the buildings and people that they passed on the way from To-Oh University to this secret and supposedly secure location.

She paid little mind to the man sitting beside her, Taro Matsui, who appeared to be occupying himself by attacking a loose thread on his suit.

Instead, she busied herself by thinking of all the questions she had she wanted answers to. She was also thinking about, in the worst case scenario, ways to try and escape. It was just in case this Taro Matsui wasn’t who he said he was. He didn’t look that tough, and Keiko was sure that, if need be, she could take him on pretty easily.

After a few more minutes of driving around the city, the car came to a halt in front of a luxurious looking hotel. The driver, a tall old man with a white moustache and glasses, got out of the car, and held the door open for Keiko.

She stepped out of the car, Taro Matsui following close behind her.

“Why are we at a hotel? Wait...there’s not going to be any funny business, is there?” Keiko demanded, her arms crossed against her chest defensively, “you said-”

“No, no,” Matsui interrupted, and awkwardly laughed, “uh, it’s nothing like that, I promise you. It’s just...this is the safest location for us right now. One of my bosses decided that, due to recent events, the safest meeting place would be at hotels, rather than the police station itself.”

She sighed, letting her arms fall back down, “if you say so. I guess I have no choice but to trust you. However, you’re dead if you’re lying to me.”

Matsui just shook his head in response, “I swear, on my honor as a policeman, no harm will come to you.”

With that, the old man led the two of them inside the hotel and checked in at the front desk.

“Ah, yes, the master suite, room 507,” the receptionist said, handing the room key over, “I hope you enjoy your stay with us.”

Keiko followed in silence as the three of them made their way towards the elevator. The elder man led the way. Once they had arrived on the fifth floor, he turned to Keiko and Matsui and said, “please excuse me, I know she is probably harmless, but we must still follow protocol. Ryuzaki’s orders. Matsui-san,” he nodded towards the younger man, “check her.”

“W-wha-?” Keiko choked out. Matsui gave her an apologetic smile, his face turning a little red as he frisked her. It was clear that he was somewhat flustered as he roughly passed his hands over her body, and he accidentally grazed her chest with his hand a little longer than was necessary, earning him a glare from Keiko.

“S-sorry,” he stuttered out before continuing on with his search.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m sure you are. Search me however you want, I guarantee you won’t find anything suspicious,” Keiko grumbled as Matsui reached for her back next, quickly searching through its contents.

“I also have to ask that you turn off your cell phone,” he added, and Keiko reached into her pockets, pressing the button to turn off her phone. It gave a little chirp before shutting down.

“Anything else?” she asked him, she was clearly a little annoyed. He shook his head, still looking through her bag. Once he was thoroughly satisfied, he handed her bag back to her and gestured at the elder man to open the door.

It was the grandest hotel room that Keiko had ever been in, with four couches arranged in a square shape near the middle of what appeared to be the living room right in front of her. In the middle of the couches, there was a fancy looking end table.

“Sit, sit,” the older man told Keiko, gesturing over to one of the couches, and he told Matsui to stay with him for a moment to be briefed.

Keiko eyed the two men she was with wearily, but she still listened, and sat down. The two of them lingered by the door, speaking in soft, hushed tones.

She strained to hear them.

“Ryuzaki is on his way over from the university, he wanted to do a little more looking around before coming,” she overheard the older man say to the younger one, “he will be here shortly. Until then, he has instructed you to keep our guest comfortable while I set things up.”

“Understood,” she heard Matsui reply, and she quickly turned her head back when she saw Matsui was heading back in her direction.

She fiddled with her fingernails, trying to act as natural and composed as possible. However, on the inside, she was bursting with curiosity and the thought of having to wait even longer for answers was killing her.

So this Ryuzaki person was at the university, eh? The only university that makes sense in this case is To-Oh. It would appear that this Ryuzaki is the same one that Matsui was talking with on the phone earlier. If he was at the university, why didn’t he just talk to Matsui in person? Maybe it would’ve looked too suspicious...either way, he can’t be L, I doubt he would willingly show his face, especially now with Kira on the loose. So this Ryuzaki is probably some high up policeman, or...perhaps another investigator, and if he is, there’s a chance he could be working with L. He’d better get here soon...

“Uh, would you like anything to drink?” Matsui asked her while shyly ruffling his hair, breaking her away from her thoughts, “I was going to grab a water bottle myself.”

“Water is fine, thanks,” Keiko replied.

She watched as Matsui grabbed two water bottles from the mini fridge, passing one of the bottles over to her as he sat down. She opened the bottle, taking a sip as she surveyed the room once more. Behind them, she saw the older man sorting through what she suspected were police files, a laptop was open nearby.

“That’s Watari,” Matsui explained to her, “he’s, like, an assistant of sorts.”

Keiko nodded, “I see.”

The room got quiet, aside from the shuffling of papers behind them. Matsui already seemed at a loss for words, and she suspected he was only quiet because he wasn’t sure what he could or couldn’t reveal to her yet.

After a while, Matsui gave a little chuckle, finally daring to break the silence, “that entrance exam today must have been pretty difficult.”

Resorting to small talk, I see...

“I’m sure by now you’ve done enough research on me to know that I’m smart enough to have passed it, easily,” Keiko replied tartily, “and I’m sure I did pass.”

“Right, because you’re at the top of your class, same as Light-” he suddenly stopped, realizing he had said too much and his face turned pale again. Keiko’s eyebrows shot up.

Light? Have they been following him too?...wait a second...we’re waiting for Ryuzaki to arrive from the university...that weird guy that was staring at Light during the entrance exam...could it be? Could he be this mysterious Ryuzaki? He looked like he’s younger than this Matsui, though, if it’s him then he has to be smart, smarter than I am.

“Interesting,” Keiko gave a curt laugh, “you were also tailing Light, weren’t you? If not you, someone else from the police force or some other agency.”

Matsui gulped, and all of the sudden, there was a beeping noise.

Heh, look at him, saved by the beep. For now.

“Ryuzaki is here,” Watari announced, getting up from his spot. Keiko watched with an ardent interest as Watari opened up the door, revealing the guy she had seen earlier during To-Oh’s entrance exam.

So I was right...who is he? He’s so young, he has to be really intelligent.

He glided into the room, his eyes flickering from Watari to Matsui, and finally, to Keiko. He flashed her the same lazy smile he gave earlier as he sat down on one of the couches. Watari set the laptop and the files on the table in front of him.

“Kagami Keiko, you’re a third year at Daikoku Private Academy. You are in second place as far as rankings go, behind Yagami Light, whom you appear to be rather close with. You do not care to raise your rank, you do not mind that you lost to Light. Instead you are glad that you don’t have the burden of being rank one. Your two closest girl friends are Shunsuki Akito and Matsumoto Maki. Your ex boyfriend is Nakumura Daicho, and from my research, the two of you dated for about six months, however he was cheating on you with another girl. In my opinion, you were too naive to see the signs, but I digress. It appears you’ve been on multiple dates since then, but you haven’t seriously dated anyone, aside from Light recently. Your father, the late Kagami Hiro, was a highly sought out private investigator and detective. It would appear that you want to follow in his footsteps, and you keep track of cases in a special notebook. Right now you are currently trying to keep up with the Kira investigation as best you can while dating Light and keeping up with your social life and your school work.”

Keiko gave a little uncomfortable cough, Ryuzaki ignored her, continuing on, “as I suspected, you knew right away that someone was following you. However, you kept it to yourself, not wanting to appear crazy or suspicious to those around you. You are curious as to why someone would be following you, and you suspect it has to do with the fact that you are investigating the Kira case. You must have assumed that I am some sort of policeman or another investigator that is close to L, thinking that L would not be willing to show his face. You are well aware he is also working with the Japanese police force. You know that people call me Ryuzaki and that I, too, took the To-Oh entrance exams earlier today. You also assume that I am investigating Light, and I will say, you are correct about that.”

How the hell?! Who exactly is this guy? He’s torturing me like this on purpose!

Ryuzaki gave a laugh, sensing Keiko’s ever growing curiosity, “hmmm...while you were right about most things, you were wrong about something, though, Keiko-chan.”

Keiko shifted slightly, irritation bubbling inside her now, “and what, pray tell, was I wrong about?”

He leaned in, his eyes never once leaving Keiko’s as he replied, “the thought never crossed your mind that I could be L simply because you assumed that it wasn’t possible, knowing full well how secretive L is.”

He smirked at her as he added, “however, you were wrong because...I am L.”

Keiko’s eyes widened, her heart hammering wildly in her chest. She almost felt like she could have toppled over from shock, “y-y-you’re...L?!”

“Yes, I am L. You see, Ryuzaki is an alias I am using while investigating the Kira case. It’s for my own protection,” he explained.

Keiko let his words sink in a moment, the wheels in her mind turning. As shocked as she was, she was now even more curious.

L, the great detective that I look up to, is him? L willingly showed his face to me? What is this? Is he pulling my leg? He can’t really be L, can he? There’s no way...also, he’s so young...I didn’t think L was this young, for some reason, I had always imagined an older man. If this man is really L, then he’s a lot younger and much more attractive than I thought he was, even with those eyebags of his. Which says a lot, I guess.

Matsui nodded, suddenly cutting in, “it’s true, he really is the great detective. Taro Matsui is an alias that I am using as well. We’ve deduced from watching you that you aren’t Kira, so I think it would be okay if I told you my real name now. I am Touta Matsuda. Sorry for deceiving you, I am really a cop, though!”

Keiko glanced over at him, she had gotten so distracted by Ryuzaki’s confession that she forgot there were other people in the room.

A fake name, eh? That’s pretty smart. That way, they have extra protection against Kira. Otherwise, there’s a strong chance Kira would be able to eliminate them...and anyway, so this is really L. The L. And he was investigating me, of all people! What the hell?!

“While yes, we did deduce that she is not Kira, it is still unwise to give out your real name. However, I suppose, as long as she is not Kira, then it’s fine,” Ryuzaki commented with a little bit of a snarky undertone, which made Matsuda shrink a little bit.

“This is all so crazy, you know that right? What do Light and I have to do with the Kira investigation exactly? Did you really suspect I could be Kira? Or Light, for that matter?” Keiko asked, focusing her attention back on who she now knew was L.

“Patience, Keiko-chan. The others will be arriving any second now. We will begin as soon as they get here,” L responded.

There are others coming? Ugh, so far instead of getting answers, all I’m getting are even more questions. And, if they also followed Light, why am only I here? There has to be a reason he isn’t here. Do they still suspect him of being Kira? Why do they even suspect him in the first place?

A few seconds later, as if on cue, there was another beep. Watari once again got up to open the door. There were five people in total that walked in, and Keiko realized that one of them was Light’s father. While she had never officially met him, the resemblance was uncanny, and she remembered that Light once mentioned his father was the chief of police.

She could only assume that the rest of the men that walked in were police officers under the chief’s command.

The five of them sat down on the couches, and Keiko watched as Light’s father glanced at her, his expression unreadable.

One of the officers started to introduce himself but L cut him off, “she knows the name you were about to give her is a fake, Aizawa-san. Matsuda already gave out his real name, so I suppose you guys should follow suit at this point. We’re safe here anyway. She also knows I’m really L.”

He paused, looking over at Keiko, “I feel you already know this but, when out in public, if you see them you must refer to them with their alias and not their real name. However, when we are all together in private like this, using their real name should be fine.”

Following L’s orders, the policemen introduced themselves to Keiko one by one.

Light’s father went last, “I have been wanting to meet you,” he said, “but not like this. It’s too late to change anything now, though. I must say, I was skeptical of my son dating at first, but after finding out more about you, and given your background and academic standing, I think you and my son are quite compatible as boyfriend and girlfriend.”

Keiko gave a shy smile, “Thank you, Yagami-san. Though, to be honest, Light hasn’t officially asked me out or anything, we’ve just been on a few dates. So, you see, I’m technically not his girlfriend...”

“Anyway,” L interrupted rather loudly, before any more conversation could go on between the two of them, “since we are done with introductions, I’d like to begin now. What I have learned from my investigation of you is that you are not Kira. While you are intelligent enough, you are also naive, and you do not share Kira’s childish nature. I got a clear sense of what you feel is right and wrong when I learned about your own personal Kira investigation. There is also the fact that you cannot be Kira because Kira has a close connection to the police, if you had any link to police files, I would have found it by now. There’s no way that you would have left a clean trail....anyway, I’m sure you’re wondering why I brought you here and why I am telling you all this…well, Keiko-chan, to be blunt, while you’ve been cleared of suspicion, there’s still a chance that Light Yagami is Kira.”

“Ryuzaki, you know I don’t like you talking about my son that way!” Mr. Yagami bellowed out, “besides, I thought you said he was cleared of all suspicions, like Kagami-san. When you mentioned bringing in Keiko into the Task Force, I thought you said it was because of her investigative skills, not because you still suspect Light!”

L gave a small smile, “well, honestly, it was both. And you see, just because Light didn’t do anything suspicious when we were watching him doesn’t mean he isn’t Kira...he could have been misleading us on purpose. Though, I guess the chances of him being Kira went down about 2 or 3% from my original percentage.”

Keiko let out a breath, “let me get this straight. You were tailing the both of us, me because of my relationship with Light and because of who my father was, knowing full well that I intend to be just like my father as a detective. While watching me, you came to the correct conclusion that I am not Kira, however, you still suspect Light. Bringing me into the investigation would benefit you, so you decided to do just that. Basically, you want me to get close to Light on purpose and spy on him for you is my best guess.”

“Bingo,” L said, “I knew you’d catch on quickly.”

“But that’s ridiculous,” Keiko replied, “you seriously believe that Light is Kira...okay, fine, let me get in your shoes and think for a moment. You probably suspect Light because of who his father is, and you know that he would be capable to get police information but smart enough to cover his tracks. I deduced that, at first, you suspected that Kira was a student, but right after you came to that conclusion the times of the killings changed, and Light would have had access to that information. But L-er, I’m sorry, Ryuzaki, tell me, what other reason do you have to suspect him? He wouldn’t be the only one with connections and access to top secret information, you know that.”

Ryuzaki reached for some papers on the table, handing them to Keiko, “why, I must say, that’s rather impressive. I never released to the public that I suspected Kira was a student at first, but you still managed to catch on...anyway, the truth is, right now, there isn’t that much more reason than that. Now hear me out, isn’t it a little too suspicious that the times of the killings changed so suddenly after I made my deduction? It’s just a feeling at this point, and I know he isn’t the only one with connections. However these are the facts; Light clearly has access to police records, not only that, as he also wants to follow in his father’s footsteps, that means he must have a strong sense of justice. Kira also has a strong sense of justice, in his own twisted way, that is. On another note, how about you look through those papers?”

Keiko rifled through the papers a moment, realizing that they were files of FBI agents, and she recognized one, Raye Penber. She gasped once she saw that he was listed as deceased. In fact, all the agents were listed as deceased. They were killed off by heart attacks, each and every one of them, “w-what’s this?”

“Ah, are you done looking through that?” L asked her, “I doubt you would have known this, seeing as it was top secret information, so I thought I would allow you to leaf through the papers before explaining. Truthfully, before I started showing my face to this small group, I had to ensure that none of them were Kira. How does one investigate members of the Japanese police force? They must bring in an outside source. I had the FBI investigate the police force and their family members, I was tailing them, much like I had Matsuda tail you this last week. However, as you can see, all of the FBI agents I had investigating ended up being murdered by Kira. This led me to deduce that someone I was investigating had to be Kira. While I realize I have no solid proof of this, the one I suspected the most out of those suspected with Light Yagami. He was one of the last people to be tailed before they were all murdered, actually.”

Keiko’s eyes widened upon hearing this, and she could feel a knot starting to form in her stomach. She was almost worried that she was going to be sick.

For a moment, she was reliving the bus jacking with Light. She could hear the hijacker’s screams about the monster at the back of the bus, the bus tires squealing as the bus came to a stop, and finally, she could hear the sick sound his body made upon impact when the car hit him.

Oh god...there’s no way the two could be connected, right? Wait… stop for a moment and think, Kira kills with a heart attack, if Light were really Kira, wouldn’t he have killed the bus jacker then and there with one? The hijacker was hit by a car, he didn’t have a heart attack, there’s no way...it can’t be. But the FBI agents…no what am I thinking? Just because Light was one of the last people to be investigated doesn’t prove anything, there were a lot of people that the agents were following, not just Light…should I tell them about the bus jacking? Or would that make me look more suspicious? However, if I tell them about it, that would lead to a lot more explaining on my end, and I’m here for my questions to be answered, not to be questioned myself. Unless it appears that I absolutely should tell them about it, I’ll keep quiet. Besides, I’ve only just met them.

Keiko sighed, and took another sip of her water bottle, trying to calm herself down. She had to try and keep her cool, especially if she wanted to make a good impression with L and not let on that she was hiding something.

Luckily for her, it wasn’t too suspicious that she was overwhelmed. She was being thrown a lot of information all at once, so it was perfectly within the realm of possibility for her to be a little shocked.

“Keiko, I know this is a lot, but there’s more I need to tell you, so please try and stay focused,” Ryuzaki said, taking the papers back from her side of the table.

He moves on way too fast...but I suppose, in this investigation, a fast pace must be maintained in order to achieve maximum efficiency. However, is he always this emotionless when talking about evidence? He gave me a list of dead FBI agents like it was nothing…

She swallowed hard. As if sensing how she must have been feeling, a couple members of the Task Force told her that it would get better, that she would get used to the way that Ryuzaki acted and ran things.

Ryuzaki started up again, “this leads me to my last point. Due to my increased suspicions of Light, I had wire taps and video cameras placed in the Yagami household. Now this wasn’t the only household I bugged, but it was the one that I focused on the most. To protect privacy, it was only the chief and I who watched over the Yagami household. It was during this time period he and I first noticed you and Light were hanging around each other. A couple days after things were set in place, Light had you over for the first time to study with him. He also had you over a couple other nights while we were investigating him.”

The chief gave an uncomfortable little cough. Keiko couldn’t stop a light blush from spreading on her cheeks as she realized that meant that both L and Light’s father bore witness to Light and Keiko kissing that night, and all the other nights she had been over there. Those nights with Light felt oddly private to her, and to realize that they weren’t actually private, well, it was like Keiko was being broadcasted on a t.v. show that she didn’t audition for.

L continued on, as if realizing her thoughts, “yes, that means we saw you two kissing. Don’t be embarrassed, that sort of behavior is normal for two teenagers that are interested in each other...but the fact remains for me that, while being watched, Light seemed almost too normal. It was like he was putting on a show on purpose, like he knew he was being watched-”

“Are you suggesting that Light only had me over to prove his innocence of him not being Kira? That he only took me out on dates, and had me over, for this reason?” Keiko demanded, “you must admit, that sounds rather absurd. It can’t be true.”

The chief nodded his head in agreement, “Ryuzaki, you can’t be serious.”

“On the contrary, I am quite serious. I realize that I sound absurd but that is that is exactly what I’m suggesting,” Ryuzaki looked over at her, and Keiko had no doubt in her mind that he was trying to gauge her reaction. She bit her lip. The knot in her stomach was growing, while L’s accusation was far fetched, the investigative side of her couldn’t entirely ignore it.

“Keiko-chan, don’t worry, I’m sure Light’s not Kira, so there would be no reason for him to lead you on like that,” Matsuda commented, offering Keiko a smile. Keiko attempted to smile back, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes.

“While I hope Matsuda is right for once in his life, I still cannot ignore the fact that Light Yagami is still suspicious to me,” Ryuzaki replied, “Kagami-san, please think this over. If you are anything like your father, your gut is telling you the same thing; you cannot ignore the possibility, however small it may be, that he might be Kira. I know you probably have some feelings for Light, I am not asking you to rethink those feelings, rather to just consider the possibility of him being Kira and keep a more watchful eye on him, all the while reporting back to me, of course. Also, should you choose to help us out with the investigation, a fake name and identification card will be given to you as well, for your own protection.”

“Ryuzaki,” Ukita started, “don’t you think you shouldn’t have dragged her into this? You’re asking a bit too much of her, I think.”

“I agree,” Mr. Yagami commented, “it feels wrong to ask Light’s own girlfriend to spy on him. Perhaps, detective skills or not, you shouldn’t have brought her here today.”

“I think we should ask Keiko-chan what she thinks, after all, in the the end, it’s her choice to make. Also, remember chief, she mentioned earlier that Light never officially asked her out, so technically she isn’t his girlfriend yet, but I suspect he will make things official soon. Otherwise, it would look even more suspicious on his end,” Ryuzaki said, “also, you also can’t deny her skill. She would be an effective member of the task force, and would be free to come and go as her schedule allowed her, of course. Let’s not forget either that she was keeping track of the Kira case as best as she could by herself, and while she didn’t have access to the same information we did, she still came up with some of the same conclusions.”

The fact was, now that L had told her his reasoning, it would be in the back of her mind no matter what. It would haunt her until she could prove L wrong. If she could. She was unsure how to proceed.

All eyes were on Keiko. She swallowed hard, her mind still trying to process things, “I think...I…”

She was unable to properly form words, and instead, opted for another drink of her water.

“Let’s not rush her,” Ryuzaki said, looking Keiko over slowly. “In fact, I think it would be best if we waited a couple more days before hearing her decision. So, Keiko-chan,” he continued on, staring straight into her eyes, “I think this is it for now, but trust me, we’ll be in touch.”

Keiko nodded, still unable to speak. She needed some time to think, that was for sure.

I was right, death is following me, haunting me now in more ways than one. When I started investigating the Kira case, I never imagined I would actually have a chance to get this deep into it. I never imagined that something like this would happen to me...Light couldn’t possibly be Kira...could he?

Chapter Seven

Chaper Nine