#also its the 3rd time ive had to write this post and at this point if this doesnt work i will give up

[dottedmage]

drawings related to @rainfallbeats ask posts, the school au has been in my mind all day also marie! bc why wouldnt i

i think frye is a beast in the kitchen, she will be doing like 7 things all at the same time and when she has to Wait for Stuff before she goes back to cooking and baking at mach 5 she just stands there, nothing in the brain

[flovverworks]

returning to ydays post so gbf spoilers for the event for sure, probably mhyk spoilers too

Morimori: But what's so wrong about forgetting? It's not his fault. And it's not Erbsu's or Nerine's either. Even the past town elders were forced to make tough decisions. Running from reality and forgetting the bad things is how we as people can live happy, treeful lives. Drusilla: Are you perhaps encouraging me? Morimori: I thought that was obvious. Even if you end up forgetting Nerine, you're not to blame.

this EXCHANGE........1) nerine's entire thing alrdy had me bawling but. i was alrdy thinking about these topics since ive been thinking about type0 again...@_@ i DO run off akira rmbring the wizards & everything, i talked about this a while back, but it IS true that arthur&co forgot the old sage's face & name almost immediately. theres a lot of fanwork too revolving around akira being forgotten/forgetting too (more strongly in the forgetting side, while forgotten rly is mostly.....name&face. points to yorushika's usotsuki for the billionth time). riquet's anni card about riquet's book.....there is sage's book, so why not make akira's book too? 1.5 with them not telling anyone what actually happened that night, and akira silently wishing that someone will one day ask them about their story. ive had this thought for soooo long too about akira writing down everything they rmbr of the wizards&their world when they return to their world, in order to not forget, in order to not lose it. 'you're not to blame' did a number on me big time

Nerine: I'm not sure why, but it feels like this sort of thing calls for more than a… thing. Drusilla: You mean a story would be better? Nerine: Whoa, how'd you know? I was going to write one as soon as I got back to the forest! Drusilla: I thought it might be worth learning from your example as well. Nerine: My example? Are you going to write a story too? Then this trip'll be great inspiration! Let's have lots of fun until the very last minute!

which essentially goes into this exchange too,,,,,T_T rather than an item, writing a story......telling a story......even if its not read by anyone, something that you can read and remember.......memories fade, stories remain, all that....

Drusilla: Sigh… All I wanted was for you to experience normal town life. Nerine: Huh? But that's impossible. I'm with you, aren't I? That makes it too special to be normal. Drusilla: …! I-I'm impressed you can say such things without even a hint of embarrassment.

akira before vs after meeting the wizards (but rly.....voicing ur feelings rather than keeping them inside....T_T

Nerine: How am I supposed to smile! I don't want to say goodbye! We haven't even eaten cake together yet! I can't believe this is the end! That I'll never see you again! Drusilla: This is the worst! I want to spend more time with you! Forget being special! Why couldn't we have met under normal circumstances!

figaros fkng mahopa. school april fools. that one chocolate meeting place vday event. theres another time where akiras like 'will i too be able to wave goodbye while smiling?' or whatever but i cant rmbr which event it is. anyway i was BAWLING

Drusilla: Thanks to Nerine, I realized something. I'm special to Nerine, and she's just as special to me. But it's not just her—the crew, my friends, and my family are all incredibly important to me. And they all have people who are important to them. Everyone is special to someone.

;_; 2nd anni............................1.5.......................pt2.............................. everyone is special to someone.......

theres admittedly also the mhyk 3rd anni website txt,,,

Even fairy tales without happy endings can one day be cherished all the same.

gggggg i wANT THE HAPPY ENDINGS THOOOOO korwa is so right for always talking about that. either way the full text talking about weaving a tale and similar,,,,i havent read that anni story still but the cards with 'capturing a moment'...T_T anyway i have an entire side thought on "happy", especially in regards to pt2 focus charas but ill get into that when pt2 is finished im so emotionally drained after this event + today.

there IS also an entire subject on the forgetting in the event in regards to gran's feelings in current msq but ill take that on gran someday. also especially the first part.....in regards to the part in 1.5 that makes it iffy whether akiras alive or not (especially considering what the Common isekai plot is)........i have thoughts regarding all that & how brad looked at akira when speaking about nova + how faust thought nova reminded them of akira in that 'u r not from here' way, but i still havent read ch17 and overall i assume theyre gonna drop the entire thing on us during pt2? so ill come back to that l8r but in general. man. this event story........im not used to being the target audience this often, last time was sui?? and before that sincerely???? 3 events within one year....waow.....

anyway im drained

[writtengalaxies]

hmmm gotta think for a second.

i have a few Qs to pass the time i guess? heres some stuff ive asked my friends to get to know random things about them lmao. feel free to skip the more weird ones, but yes these are real things we've asked each other

also! feel free to ask me any questions too. i havent got anything better to do (<- thats a lie) and i would love to get interrogated this fine friday evening <3

▪︎got any OCs? if yes, can we hear a little about them?

▪︎ favourite punctuation sign?

▪︎ most preffered emoticon? (NOT emoji)

▪︎ if you were a pen ink colour, which would you be?

▪︎ favourite planet in the solar system?

▪︎ have any collections? (dolls, rocks, books, etc)

▪︎ how do you dream? (1st person, from a screen in your mind, 3rd person, etc etc)

▪︎ can you wake up on command?

▪︎ how do you think/can you hear your own thoughts?

▪︎ if given the possibility, would you like to live in a different universe without a way back? (an oc world, a tv show, book, etc)

▪︎ favourite video game song from its soundtrack?

▪︎ have you ever met online friends irl? if not, would you like to?

thats it for now. maybe. <3

OH LET'S ROCK HECK YEAH.

I have...so many OCs. So...so many. That's like, a separate post of it's own. Between self-inserts, characters I write, characters I LARP, D&D characters, other tabletop RPG characters...it's absurd numbers. XD

>:3 is pretty much one I use constantly. ╰(*°▽°*)╯is my favorite kaomoji!

Orange. XD It's my favorite color!

It's gotta be a shout-out to those dwarf planets! Haumea is a dwarf planet near Neptune that's an ellipsoid shape and has rings! And two moons of it's own!

I collect rubber ducks! Specifically the cheap ones from crane machines.

I...am weird and I don't usually dream? I'm pretty sure it's related to having aphantasia, but on the rare occasions I do dream...it changes on what perspective I have. I actually can read in my dreams, and it's all clear words and numbers to me, not shifting symbols like a lot of people have.

Waking up on command...If I tell myself when I fall asleep I have to be up before a certain time...or if I set an alarm...I will be up before then. Otherwise...nope!

Another one that I don't know how to explain. I don't have a voice or words or images, but I don't know how to put it into words about what happens.

When I was younger, I would have said yes. At this point in my life? Honestly, I'm really happy with where I am and I'd be heartbroken to lose everything that's here.

I...don't usually listen to video game soundtracks and I usually turn the music off in games, unless it's an audio cue. >.< If I had to chose, I'd say "We Shall Sail Together" or "Becalmed" from Sea of Thieves, or any of the Boss Fight music from Valheim.

I have! I actually had a whole bunch of them over my house earlier this summer, as well as one of my internet friends actually moving to the area and ended up with one of my real life friends because they hit it off!

[thekaijudude]

Ok, before you release your review of Blazar… I’m going to send you mine. Correction: I already have. I sent it to you before I’ve even finished writing the first paragraph of the qn.

Basically, I want you to tell me your thoughts on my review.

Additionally, I want you to tell me, in as much detail as possible, why you felt Blazar had a boring plot. Please try to give me at least 7 major reasons and 5 minor reasons why it was boring for you, and here’s the thing: not one of them can be just ‘it was episodic’. If you can’t do that, then I want you to tell everyone why you think episodic seasons are so bad, when the Monster of the Week style has plain and simply worked for Blazar.

(Also, I feel like I’m being overly aggressive. Just understand that I liked Blazar a heck of a lot and don’t understand how you were going ‘it’s a boring show’ the whole time.)

Oh hell nah I ain't reposting that whole thing here, I guess mainly your review kinda makes your standards kinda ambiguous? Cause you said it's better than Trigger, Decker and Mebius but how exactly? Or what even were the positives and negatives of the aforementioned series that you're comparing Blazar to, that Blazar did better neccessarily? That you're even giving a rating for in the end?

Something like what I did for RB here:

Otherwise the entire review was just you talking about Blazar as a series alone despite you trying to do a comparative analysis which was what you tried to do in an incomplete fashion in the beginning as the analysis never really came, so this bascially made your entire 2nd, 3rd, 5th and 7th paragraph entirely moot to begin with

As for your 4th paragraph, that dosent neccessarily make both of our stances mutually exclusive tho? Like of course most would prefer a clear and consistent theme, but you do realize that both an episodic and a non-episodic narrative can achieve that no? So that point was neither here nor there

As for your second question, i aint gonna do all that since ive done it oftenly prior, think I attached a link to an ask which I covered in the review, plus the said review itself.

Best I can do is link said post here for u to read yourself:

Plus, episodic series is essentially just a preference, it can "work" for ANY series, but what I said specifically, is because if its episodic, this puts a restriction on each (or 2) episode having to focus on something different, with little sense of continuity and more often than not, takes the focus away from the Ultra itself, which again, is another preference I have for series. It all depends on what story you chose to tell for an entire season, which I personally felt it could be better for Blazar since he comes from a new origin (M421) with a unique species characteristic that we've never seen before (Being able to fuse with entire kaiju + using kaiju powers on their own, unlike X, which has to go through an intermediary), so I felt that Blazar, having a unique character setting was utterly wasted in this series (again, focusing on the Ultra is my personal preference)

I think u can search for commentaries in the first 8 episodes where I went in detail into this and more, plus iirc, I got alot of asks about this from different followers giving their own perspectives on and raising this issue very early on as well if u want more context

Also I was asked quite a few times about my thoughts on Blazar even prior before that, can check those out via the #asks tag, which I created for purposes like these

Otherwise can just check out all of the commentaries I have for every episode throughout the series if you really want that much details cause ain't no way I'm gonna do that much just for an ask

[littlelambdrgnfly]

Ok since you reblogged that one post I hope you know I reread The Sum of Them for the 3rd time, maybe like a month ago, up until the last chapter and i never finished it cause i didnt want to experience it ending again (if that makes sense), i wish it never ended. I wish they could play baby games forever but its so important it does end because the ending is soo beautiful but so devastating, and it's beautiful because its so devastating, and my heart cant take experiencing that again :'-(

i already sent a message on here saying that your fic was the first fic to make me cry, possibly the first piece of LITERATURE in general to make me cry (i could be wrong but i cant remember any piece before that), and it made me cry 2 times when reading it for the first time. It is truly my favorite piece of McLennon fanfiction, but the only reason i dont fully consider it mine is that if someone were to ask me, it'd be too taboo/freaky to say but its truly one of the most heartfelt and complex ways ive ever seen anyone portray John and Paul while also feeling completely accurate and realistic. My god. And i love so many of your other fics too but The Sum of Them really means so much to me and I cant even say that enough. i wish you could just live as me and be inside my mind to fully grasp how much of an affect it had on me, I dont think i will ever be able to explain it sadly </3. But just know out of every McLennon fic ive ever read (and ive read many), THAT one is my very favorite out of like 100+. The way you characterize them is just so completely different from any other fic ive read and its so intimate and raw and holy shit i dont even have the words. Sorry i know im rambling at this point but I just think about it a lot! Also your fics are the only fics i enjoy anymore, (recent) beatles fics have gone down the drain in my opinion and yours are the only ones i can be satisfied with because, as far as im concerned, anything you write is automatically in-character for them after reading The Sum of Them lol x) thank you so SO much for writing cause it's truly exposed so many of my own desires and hidden , sensitive parts of myself that couldn't be excavated any other way without your work 💖

Dude... this is legitimately one of the best comments I've ever gotten. I wish I could memorize all of this and replay it for myself whenever I'm feeling blue. Thank you so so much, it means the world to me! I think all writers insert their own thoughts and emotions into their work, and I definitely do that in all of mine, but especially The Sum of Them. This fic is basically my wishlist of things I would do with a partner, as well as coming to better terms with my own kinks, so I'm glad it's been able to resonate with people. I'm also glad that I managed to keep John and Paul in character, even if John is crying every other paragraph lmao! I totally get what you're saying about wishing I could experience what you did, I wish I could too. Sometimes I reread my fics with the mindset of someone reading it for the first time, but it's just not the same. I'd give my left tit for more writers on my level or higher who wrote bottom!John or even ABDL fics, I swear. I don't read a lot of fics these days, but I'm usually disappointed whenever I check the Beatles tab. I'm also really really bad at remembering titles and author names, so I never remember what fics that I like! Thank God for bookmarks. I definitely understand not wanting to tell people that this is your favorite fic though, lol! I've been writing Beatles fics for a long time, but I created a new account on AO3 when I started writing these fics. I'm comfortable talking about this stuff, but only with the help of an alternate profile. I'm really really happy to help people explore this side of themselves though-- too often fics like mine are just really gross over-the-top and completely unrealistic portrayals in my opinion, and I guess I wanted to bring something sweeter and more realistic to the table. <3

[atxxzist]

Hey I saw your ask before and thank you for updating and letting us view your old fics, especially blacklist! It's one of the first ones I came across this page and ever since I've been hooked on your writing bc 🤌 it's that GOOD

I was legit going to re read this fic the other day (im sorry that you don't like it as much since its old work you've posted but I'm in love with that fic:() I wish I could express more how much i loved those characters and story itself!! But your also valid to feel the way you do 😋 your work is amazing, your stories are refreshing to read, keeps people hooked and your characters are amazing. I love your plot lines and plot twists (also your smut?? Excuse me you write it so fucking great 😭 the tension, i feel it when reading and the description is top tier💙 (i know there's no smut in blacklist but the tension was amazing)

😭 u r 2 sweet and always flatter me way 2 much. also ty for always taking the time to send in these messages.

i started the blog almost a year ago and the first part to blacklist was the 3rd work ive ever put out (if counting that atrocious first fic ive written for san which ive made private so long ago and still hasnt looked at ever since) and i think i've said this before but it was never meant to be a series. idek why i made the first part so open ended 🙃 even worse, i wasn't rlly serious when i was writing the first part which is why it kind of had a very sarcastic/snarky/straightforward tone to it and y/n was very kind of judgmental but as the story went on (especially when i resumed it on chapter 3 after finishing my first series) u can see she kind of toned it down and was a lot more down to earth and not so caricaturish? i think?!

more under the cut bc i cant stop talking

sorry im just venting 😭 but as u can see, i have a lot of regrets regarding the series lollll. but i am very grateful bc many seemed to like it, so ty guys truly ❤️ i just wish i would've built a better foundation during the first chapter so i could expand on that and give the characters even more depths bc aside from y/n, seonghwa, and hongjoong, i felt like we never got to know much about the other characters. it was like they were just there to uplift the main three (even sumi didnt serve much purpose). especially seonghwa's group had a lot of potential. and u won't believe this, but at one point, i considered a loveline between sumi and san LOL just thought it would've been interesting bc of her being y/n's friend and san being a bAdBoY but seonghwa was already enough of a headache and i think it would've played out somewhat very similarly to my current series anyways so im glad i didn't.

BUT ANYWAYS! i'm so sorry for the word vomit! i remember when i got your very first message 4 blacklist, it made me so happy. ty 2 u and everyone else who loved it and i hope to one day give it the justice it deserved bc i actually love the concept. writing the series taught me a lot of things i can now apply to my newer works so they can b even better <3

have a wonderful day!

[snowydaffodils]

Exhilarating

1741 words | 3rd Person POV

Another short fluff - this time with Seventeen's Josh!

Synopsis: Everything was dull and boring, but when she entered the room, she was like a breath of fresh air.

---

Despite the well designed interior and the fancy vases that decorated the room, it didn't push away the feeling of unfamiliarity and solitude that Joshua had felt since he arrived - or at the very least became aware of his surroundings. He didn't feel the isolation as much when he first came, because his vision (and memory) was blurry. He remembered people talking around him, and he remembered being taken from one place to another, but he didn't remember what they were saying exactly, or where they brought him to. When he came to, they told him he collapsed on pre-recording, and they had to immediately bring him to the hospital.

Joshua sighed. While the room was probably one of the most luxurious ones he'd been in, there was an odd unsettling feeling that disturbed him as he lay there, alone. It didn't help that he was wearing hospital clothes instead of his own and also that he was stuck to an IV drip. Just in between the door and floor, he saw shadows that stood tensely beyond his room, and he could guess them as the assigned security for him - just in case one of those sasaengs reached him somehow.

With the window shutters being closed down, it further elongated his feeling of being boxed in, as Vernon would've phrased it. His members were off to another schedule that he later would have to make up for, so nobody would be on the group chat. He would've called his mom to push away the loneliness, but it would have been barely dawn in Los Angeles.

The ceiling, once a comfortable target to place his sights on, slowly grew dull and boring, so he moved to lay sideways instead, facing the door. It was then when he heard noises and steps coming towards his direction, and the shadows under the door moved around for the first time.

His eyes perked up to see who was coming, hoping it would be his manager, or one of the members who finished their schedules early and came to see him. Instead of them, a white coat caught his eyes, the person in it fiddling with the notes she was holding as she entered the room.

"Mr. Hong, right?" she smiled, pulling up her glasses as she approached him. "Hong Jisoo."

The way she called him was cheerful and perky, and it brought a different light to enter the room. It suddenly didn't seem so sullen, and for that, Joshua was happy she entered, whoever she may be.

"Yes?" he managed, as he pulled himself up to sit straight and look at her properly.

"Good morning," she cheered, and he noticed that she was looking directly into his eyes. While he was used to direct eye-contact in America, Koreans tend to deem that action impolite, so he didn't really expected it. Even so, he had always thought of eye contact as an important element in communicating - it shows just how much attention you were getting from the other person. Her eyes seemed bright as he returned the contact, and the mere fact that they were looking into each other's eyes played a huge part in lightening up the room.

"Morning," Joshua replied, trying to smile back as politely as he could, despite the heaviness of his head while keeping his body upright.

"Oh, you shouldn't move too much!" she said upon seeing him. "You were running a high fever, on top of that you were dehydrated and overworked, too. Your temperature went down slightly, but you're still in a feverish range," she said quickly, adjusting the small tube that was connected to his arm.

"I feel better, though," Joshua reasoned, giving the girl a small smile to support his subjective argument. She puffed and blew the little bangs annoying her eyes away and placed her hands on her hips.

"Better doesn't equal good enough," she said, the look in her eyes clearly opposing his attempts to be let go. "Besides, take this opportunity to actually rest, okay? Its a big fancy room with fancy lighting, a TV and good speakers, and we'll get you food in a moment. You can't argue that this is not heaven," she rambled, pointing at his surroundings.

Joshua laughed, he had never met a doctor like this one. "You have a point," he said. "But, do you think you can move me to another room? Preferably with people?"

She blinked. "You want to switch rooms?"

Joshua looked around, there was a nurse standing right behind this doctor girl, and his security guard had stepped inside since the girl entered. They all looked at him weird and obviously against the idea, so he just nodded timidly and sighed.

"Its just that," the girl waited for his response patiently, her hands back on her the edge of his bed and the other on her notes. Joshua continued, unsure of himself as well. "It gets too quiet, and uh, silence gets pretty uncomfortable for me."

She gave him one look and spared a few seconds for her thoughts before she returned him with a reply. "Well, your manager told me its best you're not even seen by anyone at all, for your safety."

Of course he did. Joshua didn't doubt that, and he understood those orders completely, so he just nodded, accepting defeat. Worth a try though.

But she wasn't quite finished. She pulled her phone out of her coat pocket, checked her screen for a while before coming back to him. "I can stay with you and chat if it helps," she grinned. "People call me a chatterbox, so why not put it to good use, right?"

"Are you not busy?" Joshua asked, pretty set aback by her suggestion, but was not against it.

She shook her head, swaying her bangs left and right before giving him a reassuring smile. "Not if nobody's calling for me. You're actually free to go after this drip," she points at the hanging liquid with the notes on her hand, "All you have to do is wait for your manager to pick you up. After all, your fever did go down, and we'll give you acetaminophens to take. What you really need is food and rest."

While the rest of the people in the room looked at her weirdly at her offer to be a chatterbox, she paid no mind to it and grabbed herself a chair to sit on by Joshua's bed. Joshua, on the other hand, just nodded numbly, unsure of what kind of reaction he should give, or what words to say. He had no reason to refuse, though, so he said nothing.

"You guys can go," she dismissed the nurses who followed immediately, and the security guard simply eyed her for a few seconds before returning to his post. She was the assigned doctor, after all, he couldn't (and shouldn't) restrict her from her patient.

Once they all left, Joshua blurted the question that had been sitting on the tip of his tongue. "So, do you stay to chat with all the patients you meet?"

She settled in her seat and gave him an ambiguous smile - one Joshua understood to not be completely genuine, but wasn't fake either. "Just the ones that seem particularly lonely."

"And," Joshua paused, picking his words carefully. "You don't have other lonely patients?"

She chuckled. Pressing her fist on her cheeks, she rephrased his question for him, "You mean why aren't I busy treating other patients?" The question stunned him for a while. He didn't expect her to be that direct, especially to her patient; but to be honest, he didn't mind it one bit.

Usually, when this kind of situation happened - where a conversation turned too straightforward for him to handle, Joshua would've chuckled awkwardly and politely, and just nodded or something to move on from the discomfort. But this time, he didn't know if it was because his head was still revolving, or if it was because he'd spent too much time with Jeonghan, but he didn't take the polite route and just directly returned her question with another one. He simply nodded. "Yeah, sure, if you care to tell?"

The response wasn't one she was used to receiving, so she was a bit flustered at the blunt exchange for a few seconds. "Huh," she huffed, but smiled. "I guess I'm assigned to do the extra stuff. Nobody wants to talk to patients and their guardians if its nothing medical related. Doctors are awkward that way. They prefer to research, write papers, and explore surgeries. And so they pushed me here," she gestured to the room around her. "To the VIP wards."

Before Joshua could take offense into her words, she disclaimed, "Not that you're 'extra stuff', but you must understand that some VIP patients can be," she gave him an awry grin, one that was indicating something negative, as she searched for the right word. She didn't seem to find one, but eventually settled with the description: "Exhilarating," which she worded with a shoulder shrug, indicating that it wasn't the correct word at all.

Joshua just laughed at her antics, wondering if the medical dramas about VIP patients actually happen in real life that she would describe them that way. "Would you say I'm - well - exhilarating, then?"

At this point, her smile was no longer ambiguous. Looking like she was in deep thought, she answered, "You're a different kind of exhilarating." Her dimples further accentuated the honesty in her smile. "I mean, obviously, you're well aware that you have got the looks," she reasoned, not at all embarrassed to compliment him, which was different for a change - but a good different.

"That I do," Joshua grinned. He was an idol, after all, he should be confident in his visuals.

"And you're young - not many VIPs are as young," she continued, still thinking of more answers. "And most people would've reprimanded me for speaking so casually and bluntly to a patient about her work. They'd say I was rude."

Joshua snickered. "Should I, then? Reprimand you, I mean?"

Her eyes rounded at his statement, and then she suddenly clasped her hands together and bowed her head. "I would reaaally, reaaaally appreciate it if you don't."

He laughed. This girl is really something.

"What was your name, again? Can I call you by name?" Joshua asked, visibly more comfortable.

And she returned him with another ambiguous smile.

---

[vlogsquadssquad]

secure

summary: Charlie puth invites David to a get together where David meets y/n and they hit it off.

a/n: a teensy weensy bit angst but im 100% making a part 2 of this with a happy ending so no worries!!!!!!!!!

warnings: language

mood board:

-- 3RD PERSON DD & CP

“hey what are your plans for Saturday?” Charlie asked David as they finished up a bit for the vlog.

“umm, nothing really. im kind of in a fog right now. why?” David took a bite of his apple.

“well im throwing a small little kickback at my house. a few of my music friends are coming and it might get you some good connections, if you'd like.”

“dude, that's fucking sick! name drop! is Selena Gomez gonna be there?” David asked excitedly.

“no, no, Selena doesn't really do too many social events anymore. she's going through a lot...” David raised his eyebrow as Charlie looked to the ground. “but you know who will be there? y/f/n!” 

“shut the fuck up dude are you serious?” Davids heart dropped at the thought of y/n at the party. he's been crushing on her for a bit, and has been dying to meet her. 

“yeah, I mean she texted me she would, why are you all giddy?” Charlie punched David on the shoulder playfully, but secretly didn't want David to say he had a crush on her because truth was, so did Charlie. what's not to like? she's humble, kind, funny, easy-going, and down for anything. 

“oh, uhh... no reason, just she's a pretty popular singer right now. good clickbait.” David said with nervousness in his voice. he didn't want to admit that he had a crush when he hasn't even met her.

“alright, well ill see you at the kickback then. bring some friends!” Charlie tried not to sound worried or suspicious. he’d have to keep an eye on the two.

-- YOUR POV

I really hate going to parties. but Charlie promised it would be chill and just a way to destress. ive been in a fog with my album im writing. I have great songs but I need two more and im stuck on what to write about. maybe the party will be a good thing. 

-texts w - Charles 🤪 -

< should I wear something casual or ?? are we dressing nicer lol

you look great in everything! >

maybe party casual if that's a thing? >

< thought it was a kickback you ass! lol but thanks for the heads up. see you there, Charles! 😉

-end texts-

he hated when i called him Charles but i love messing with him. after careful examining of the clothes i had, i decided to go as I was. it was an easy going outfit but I still looked put together. I had no one to impress anyways. 

-- 1st PERSON DD 

“dude, im so nervous.” i whispered to Ilya, who knew of my crush. 

“its fine man, don't be a pussy.” i took a drink of my water and grabbed my camera to film with Benny Blanco a little he always had something funny or interesting to say.

“Charles!” I heard from the living room. i didn't think anything of it and kept filming with Benny and Jeff. a little while goes by and then Benny looks over my shoulder.

“hey, y/n/n! so good to see you!” i froze. y/n went and gave benny an inviting hug and then turned to me. her eyes were easy to melt into.

“hi, good to see you, im y/n” she went in for a hug. she smelled beautiful.

“oh, hi. im David. big fan.” 

“and im Jeff, wow you look so great, can I get you a drink?”

i rolled my eyes at Jeff trying to make a move. of course he's into the same girl I am.

“oh, im ok, I actually don't really like to drink.” she's so kind and gentle as she speaks. 

“so how is the album coming?” benny asks her.

“its... not.” she laughs lightly but I can tell she's stressed. is it too early to tell her I already know her inside and out? am I crazy for watching all her interviews, tiktoks, and instagram stories? 

“im in a fog,” she looks to the ground. how are we already so compatible? “I want two more songs but im having trouble finding a conclusion to the story im telling. maybe there isn't one, I don't know.”

“what's the story you're trying to tell?” I ask feeling very brave and comfortable already.

“basically my current dating life.” she slightly blushes. “its so hard dating and every time I start to like a guy or I know of him and I already have a crush on him, it doesn't end well. and I have these little romances I write about but they all end in either piggy behavior or ghosting.” we laughed along with her. her smile was radiating.

“maybe I can help, do you wanna go to Charlie’s studio?” Benny asks her.

“you're an angel! yes! ill repay you in food.” she laughs. as they walk out, Im watching her. she moves so flawlessly. “hey, you can come too. might get something good for the vlog.” she smiles to me. my heart is beating out of my chest. she watches my videos or at least knows of me. “cool, thank you.” I say trying to remain calm. she also pulls Charlie in and he drapes his arm around her shoulder. they're just friends.

as we get seated in the room, Benny starts asking her questions. “so, we know what message you're giving but how are you delivering it for the album? what's the feeling? want to play us a song that captures the vibe?” 

“well I only have the instrumentals for the songs but I can play one live?” 

“great, lets do it.” Charlie smiled to her as he handed her a mic.

“don't post this anywhere, David” she warned.

she brought warmth to my cheeks. “nope, ill only use it as blackmail.”

her laugh was such a gift. I could tell jokes all day just to hear her laugh again. 

she played a beautiful song that was slow and powerful and all about heartbreak. it hurt to hear her go through that. then benny asked for another song. this one was more pop. like id hear it on the radio, but still deep. 

the rest of the night was them composing songs and some stupid jokes here and there. safe to say she's the most down to earth and funny person in the room. the fans will go crazy that im here with her. im going crazy that im here with her. 

-- YOUR POV

I spent the whole night in the studio with some amazing people. I found myself taking it all in and being so thankful for my life. ive known of David and watched his vlogs pretty frequently too, but being with him was a whole different experience. he gave great advice and genuinely helped me through some of my block. he gave a listeners point of view and had fresh ears. it was nice. he even offered to walk me to my car.

“I figured you'd have like a limo waiting for you outside or something.” he joked as we walked toward the street.

“nope, that's just youtubers.” I joked back.

he laughed, “ouch.” 

“thank you for your input tonight.” he chuckled. “no, I really mean it. I think I know exactly how I want to end the album.” I look into his eyes as my back is pushed against my car. 

“where's your mind at?” he looks back to me.

“loving myself. I know it sounds cliche, but isn't the greatest romance of all, the love you have for yourself? tonight was the most fun ive had, and it was just hanging out with friends talking about endless things.”

he nods as he takes my words in. “you're really secure with yourself. I like that. its going to be a great album.”

he leans in and for a moment I think he's going to kiss me which I don't need right now. then I see his hands go low to the handle of my car door and he opens it for me.

“oh, I can't take a hint, huh?” I joke with him.

“no, not at all. I just know you're excited to go home and write your new hit.” he says almost seriously.

“thank you” I whisper. “and also, can I get your number? id love to do something fun for the vlogs.” 

-- DAVIDS POV, NEXT DAY

“il, it couldn't have gone better! she asked for my number, bro!”

“that's fucking sick. imagine you dating one of americas sweetheart, music icons.” Ilya pokes at David.

“its not a fucking joke, I really think there was something there but id really like to get to know her better.”

“who are we talking about?” Charlie asks as he enters the room. David had texted him to meet up for a bit they were doing.

“uh, no one.” im quick to reply knowing they're` great friends and I don't want any drama.

“oh ok... so what'd you think of y/n?” he asks me.

“oh she's great, yeah, I was editing some last night and I think I'll keep some parts in.”

“yeah, she's so easy to be around. I think im gonna ask her out, she's kind of the girl of my dreams, and im like 99% sure she's in love with me too.” he says almost marking his territory. 

I look to Ilya and he just half smiles. “oh, that's great man. yeah you should ask her out if you're in love with her. she's a great catch.” my chest falls as I say it aloud. I really thought she liked me. 

part 2

[rippingattheseams]

(this is a really long and messy vent post so like feel free to ignore this i just want to write whats going on in hopes of it making me feel better)

okay so yesterday was my first day of this stressful summer camp thing i have to do for a scholarship program and it’s literally just school in the middle of june and after freaking out abt it enough it turns out my grandma, who ofc is the only one besides my brother who doesnt seem to forget i’m there likely has stage 5 kidney failure (which is fatal) and i’m probably gonna have to go and see her within a week and the only death i’ve experienced of someone close to me is my dog when i was 9 and i forgot how awful it feels. i also was talking to my only friend about stuff because i’m getting my fourth therapist after finally starting to kinda open up to the last one but now she’s also leaving (she should be back in fall cause she’s having her kid but it still sucks cause i was starting to feel okay with her) and even though i never was able to tell her a lot of going on and she never gave advice she just let me vent, i still don’t want to see another one but back to the original point me and my friend were on ft and i found two of my old diaries from 1st grade and 3-5th grade and although it was mostly funny cause i was a fucked up kid who did fucked up things and couldn’t spell (and still can’t tbh) some of it was depressing especially considering how young i was. there was stuff about how i was so lonely and you could tell just by how much i wrote about this friend that i really relied on her for so much and not really in the venting kind of way i just liked her so much cause she was the only one who didn’t judge me or leave me. i didn’t have many friends throughout elementary and none of them except for her talk to me now. i finally opened up to her about why i loved going to her house so much as a child and why i still feel so emotionally attached to her family despite them not really liking me anymore. as a kid my household sucked tbh. i remember going to her house for the first time and got confused on why they all ate dinner together and didn’t go off to their rooms. up until a littoe over a year ago i’ve never really had a family dinner (and now it’s just my mom making me sit with her in the living room cause after she found out i was cutting in 7th grade she wanted to keep an eye on me and we just watch tv now and eat which isn’t that bad cause i have a good relationship with her now) but my parents always fought, often physically, and my dad was always drinking and my mom was constantly tired. it’s still the same but without as much fighting, which ofc i’m grateful for, but i still hold so much resentment towards my dad mostly, but my mom too. my dad really does love me, and i know it, and it genuinely hurts him when im annoyed or angry with him. i feel so guilty but he was so awful to me and blamed me for a lot, and still does, and is narcissistic and has awful anger issues. in the last year or so ive really started to realize that this isn’t normal. my childhood consisted of so much and i just thought everybody went through it. i want to truly love my dad again but everytime he actually does or says something decent it just makes me remember all of the shitty things he did to me and my mom. going back to my friend i keep bringing up, i was always so jealous of her. her family really loved her, she has a sibling who actually lived with her and cared about her, teachers loved her, other kids did, her house was nice and everything worked, she was skinny, she was pretty, she lived in a nice neighborhood with other kids in her neighborhood she got to play with. i always wondered why i was never able to experience it. i still do. i mean i don’t want to just sit here and feel sorry for myself, but sometimes that’s really all i have the energy to do. everytime i think i’m finally getting better, this happens again. i was also in the internet way too young, and got groomed too many times. a lot of older men were creepy to me irl too. i’m starting to see how its affecting me now and how i’m like hypersexual until anything remotely intimate happens to me, even if it’s as small as a hug from family, and it makes me so

uncomfortable. i don’t even remember getting “the talk” i just knew everything from the interne. i even got porn bots sending me explicit shit in the 3rd grade. my friend was the best thing that ever happened to me, if i’m being honest. i was an awful friend to her because i’d randomly get mad at her for not doing anything and would stop talking to her. i was like a stereotypical toxic friend all through elementary and i’m still not sure why. i would randomly cut her off but every time i apologized cause i realized she was the only one i had left, she’d always accept. she honestly shouldn’t of, because i didn’t deserve it. she was always a pushover and i was always the pusher (for lack of a better word lmao) but i haven’t done anything like that to her in years. it’s embarrassing but i’m glad she did end up sticking through it with me since if we weren’t friends now, i probably wouldn’t be here. she is quite literally the reason i stopped halfway through my attempt in 7th grade. i couldn’t lose her and i knew i couldn’t do this to her. i was only ever mean to her in elem cause i never knew normalcy and just wanted to be like the popular kids and so i would try and mimic them to make myself less weird. it never worked, obviously, but honestly the fact that she put up with my bs for so long is a miracle.

[hauntedzone]

man fatphobia in tma fandom... i hated how none of the other characters were ever drawn as fat. no one else just the soft uwu squishy bean (how fandom characterized martin actually made me hate him by the 3rd season lol) which is like... i made me So Uncomfortable as a fat person. and the way jon was portrayed as unhealthy skinny got like.. borderline fetishy at times especially in fic and like. its hard for me to blame this on other people and i wouldnt want anyone who wrote him like this to see this ask and feel bad but the constant waxing poetic abt like his thin wrists and exposed ribcage and whatnot was genuinely super upsetting to me and really effected my body image especially because the only fat character they ever thought to write was like... idk how to describe it really but like there was a very clear disparity in the way they were described and meant to be related to by the reader u know?

also straighttma my beloathed... they had this like disgustingly fatphobic post about flesh avatars (cw for extreme fatphobia but if u just search for "straighttma fatphobia" in the search bar it should be the first thing). i understand its a parody blog but some of the posts and that post in particular especially was just legitimately upsetting. especially since it was anon submitted and i have no way of knowing if thats coming from a thin person or not... and in general i dont really find an expicitly bigoted version of a show particularly funny. like ive definitely made and enjoyed jokes about like characters being cishet reddit bros or whatever which i think comes with an implication of bigotry but... idk i just didnt like it

my response gets long so readmore time. i posted under some tags for bl, if youre in one of these tags and see this id prefer no reblogs on this

i never really got into fanfiction in general aside from reading maybe one or two on sparse occasion, so i cant lie and say ive experienced similar to you, but based on the art ive seen during my time liking the podcast, those descs of martin & jon do check out. (aside from that one artist with tall & fat jon, that was cool.) im sorry youve experienced that, i know one of the reasons people participate in fandom is to find belonging and seeing someone portray people like you in an unempathetic way in that setting must have been incredibly hurtful. i think its important for any media creator to understand that when they write diverse body types, sexuality, race... etc, that their intention shouldnt be to score diversity points, but to communicate to readers that arent cishet white thin abled (etc) that your artwork is also for these people

also god i forgot about straighttma... i couldnt find the post you were looking for bc tumblrs search is busted as hell. i think straighttma was kind of funny as like a 1-post idea maybe but as an entire blog idk, especially since the whole show was ALREADY full of shit youd expect from a white british guy. its sort of like, oh heres a way to sort of imagine awful people in a joking context (and i feel like white people are often looking for a reason to make racist jokes anyway), and also simultaneously makes the indirect statement of "arent we so grateful that the show and creators ARENT like that? arent we glad to get good representation?" even though the show and representation sucks ass honestly. its like the opposite of media criticism

i know i keep going back to this point and i absolutely dont intend to direct attention away from what youre saying bc youre 100% correct, but it feels like the fandom would have done everything in their power to kiss jonny sims pasty ass and defend him to the death. and it was incredibly stupid.

[cornflowercanine]

just watched an hour long video a8t homestuck and mannnnnn. it just affirms how much i wanna go 8ack to how i liked? what i made of?? homestuck when i first got into it, just with more critical thinking and going hm this part of homestuck that is 8ad and harmful. is 8ad And Harmful

ram8ling so its under a cut sorry also it is very, very long under the cut

ive tended to summarize it as 'i like homestuck itself (save for the actually 8ad parts) 8ut i h8 the fandom' 8ut honestly thats not entirely true, watching a homestuck animatic made, 8y, A Fan Of Homestuck, made me so nostalgic and emotional over the Concept of homestuck i had trou8le sl33ping that night, and i do still usually r8 multiple drawings of homestuck chars that i like Daily, right? :P it's just that, i like homestuck itself and i like SOME fan content of it, i just don't like the like... social environment??? of the fandom.

which is like, 'strangers sending you death threats and making the most wild invasive outright insulting claims a8out you if you say, fucking, idk, 'this char is an a8use victim and so their story comforts me and i s33 myself in it!' or what the fuck ever' ASIDE!!!!!!!!!! i just don't like what most of the fan content out there makes of homestuck lol.

ive said it 8efore, ppl's entire idea of homestuck 8eing a 6-year-old memory of memory of when they read through 1/3rd of it when they were 14 of specific pesterlogs only logged up 8y fanart of hcs of "meta" 8ased in that specific person projecting (which while valua8el to that person and ppl who rel8 to them isnt gr8 as a source for the media it came from), and using that Idea of an Idea of homestuck made entirely of other ppl's also-fading memories of homestuck to have whole ass arguments a8t it and This Is Why This Char Is This, Not This, And You're Wrong And Malicious For Interpreting Otherwise, .....IT'S ALL JUST VERY EXHAUSTING AND CONFUSING AND STUPID TO READ and if i never s33 a hs fan deli8er8ly stirring up drama with other homestucks again itll 8e too soon XD

8ut like, homestuck is Right There, the chars i like are Right There, the fan content i like is right there chars/ships/etc i just dont wanna s33 are right there things to k33p in mind regarding homestuck's shittier parts are right there AND THE INTERMISSION AND ALPHA KID PARTS AND THE VERY ENDING POST-RETCON CONVERS8ION COMPIL8ION, ALL OF WHICH I PLANNED TO REREAD AT A L8R POINT THAT I COMPLETELY SKIPPED IN MY LAST REREAD OF HS, ARE RIGHT THERE AND I STILL OUGHTA GO THROUGH THEM AT SOME TIME XD, i can Like Homestuck and 8e into hs and like the chars+parts i like and 8e critical of the parts that are harmful, so i think the main thing 8arring me from 8eing a Homestuck Fan is the fact that... I WILL ACTIVELY LIKE HOMESTUCK AGAIN XD

all my friends, while if i ask 'hey how many spades slicks are in homestuck again???' theyll 8e a8le to answer, arent actively homestuck fans 8y really any stretch unless 8eing a kinnie counts XD so first off i'd kinda just have to 8e in [your silence speaks volumes so i am going to continue talking a8out this a lot] mode near constantly with how much i am thinking a8t and enjoying and talking a8t and making art and mini-writings??? a8out homestuck XD

8ut mainly its moreso just that liking homestuck and 8eing a homestuck fan is, em8arrassing??? the reflexive reaction to homestuck and ppl liking it is ew lol and/or fuck off lol (which isnt entirely unfounded im sure so many ppl having it as a neg8ive associ8ion/'please tag' thing doesnt come from nowhere), and just, wholeheartedly honestly daily...-ly loving homestuck is like, first off where do i take this, second off who the hell else likes hs as much as i do in the way that i do atm, third off God Im Sorry All My Normal Person Friends Added On Discord That Have To S33 Me Change My Pfp To Another Vriska For The 3rd Time This W33k

GAH THIS IS A REALLY LONG-WINDED POST MY POINT IS i like homestuck itself except for the parts where it is 8ad, homestuck fans 8eing kinda apeshit inside the fandom and . IDK HOW TO WORD IT IN A WAY THAT DOESNT SOUND FUCKING STUPID SO ILL WORD IT JOKINGLY, oppressed (/jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj) outside of the fandom, so i am and for the past like 2 years have 833n in homestuckliking lim8o where im homestuck enough i wouldnt dare follow a normal ass 8log and i dont like regular ass posts when i r8 them to my normal-ass-person-cosplaying-side8log and think a8t vriska daily, 8ut not ....consciously? enjoya8ly??? homestuck Enough where im Happy to s33 fanart of it or i'll go 8ack and reread convos i really liked or remem8er those convos in the first place or POST!! a8out vriska past 'youre all wrong and my 8rain is huge' (/lh on that last one) so i have two options; give in and hold homestuck in my arms with a loving em8race <3333 or continue on the path im on in trying to stop liking homestuck to k33p up with my friends+not 8e legally declared cringe on-line

[doshmanziari]

Demon’s Souls || 2020 Notes [1]

While replaying Demon’s Souls I thought it’d be fun to describe some of its special qualities and certain differences between it and the Dark Souls series. The latter has almost completely overshadowed the former, to the extent that the first Dark Souls is often treated as the starting point for FromSoftware’s post-PlayStation 2 output, so it is now arguably more worthwhile than ever before to, you know... acknowledge Demon’s Souls’ existence.

• It is a little ironic that the visually darkest of the Souls games is not any of the ones with “Dark” in their title; it is, in fact, Demon’s Souls. Demon’s is full of spaces with utter or near-utter blackness, spaces which only reveal their structural character until you’re a step away from a wall or colonnade. This is an exciting quality on its own, one that makes the areas you’re navigating retain a sublimely threatening aspect separate from that of the mortal threats the enemies pose, and it becomes especially exciting when comparing it to Dark Souls 3′s inappropriate brightness on even its lowest lighting setting.

• Relatedly, Demon’s Souls is the only one of these games which bothers to explain your character’s illuminative capability: a small, brightly glowing stone (perhaps a good luck charm and a practical item) is attached to their hip. Dark Souls 2 and 3 and Bloodborne allow torches to be used (Bloodborne, too, a lantern), but your avatars otherwise exude an inexplicable light.

• The Dark Souls series represents a break from Demon’s Souls’ level design not just by way of its variously realized interconnectivity but also by distancing itself from constricted meandering layouts. Although Demon’s Souls’ areas are organizationally diverse -- one couldn’t be mistaken for another --, there are pervasive architectural motifs such as halls no wider then your person, slim towers or verticalities with staircases or planks tightly winding up and down the walls, and bits where you can miss a thin portal or doorway by not swiveling the camera around your entire immediate surroundings. This is, perhaps, one consequence of differing staff on level design and of Demon’s Souls’ adjacency to the King’s Field series.

• I’ve written before about how adventurous Demon’s Souls is with its boss fights, and I’ll write about it again! Oftener than not, bosses’ rooms are extensions of the preceding level design, rather than stripped down, isolated rings. Think of the church wherein the False Idol appears: this is a struggle where offensive tactics assume equal importance to weaving around the obstructing pews and hiding from magical projectiles among the side aisles. For this trend, we might be able to partly thank a lack of confidence in the mechanics sustaining head-on, arena-based fights. It is also notable that a number of bosses have fairly passive designs (e.g., Phalanx, Adjudicator, Storm King, Maiden Astraea, the Dragon God in its final phase, or King Allant). Opponents can be vulnerable and pitiable, creating an emotional variety and accentuating the narrative of us being the “demon” in the game’s title.

• Demon’s Souls doesn’t allow you to access the Nexus, the game proper, without firsthand experiencing your own death. Dark Souls shows your person as having already hollowed; Dark Souls 2 marks your entry into Drangleic with a cinematic wherein you pass through the threshold of a vortex; Dark Souls 3 shows you rising from your grave. Bloodborne may be the closest to Demon’s Souls: most of us will have likely died our first before coming across a lamp, and thus will be introduced to the Hunter’s Dream -- Bloodborne’s home base -- by death; but this is still unlike Demon’s Souls, which establishes a significantly fatalistic atmosphere with this moment of utter requisition.

• With its visuals’ technical effects (e.g., the warm, distinct halos surrounding candles’ flames), the muted palettes, and the plain attire of other characters and architecture -- often severe, and lacking any ornamentation or just minimally articulated -- Demon’s Souls recalls King’s Field IV. Monolithic sites and structures can impress a domineeringly absolutist effect by their scale and degree of aesthetic anonymity/repetition, and Demon’s Souls’ architecture utilizes this effect in places like Stonefang Tunnel, the Tower of Latria, and the Boletarian complex to create a world capable as much of intimidating as it is of suggesting monomaniacal psychologies and historical dramas.

• Demon’s Souls has the unique, relative to the Dark Souls titles and Bloodborne, contextual mechanic whereby your person can mount a higher tier if you continue walking against the designated rise in terrain. Fall damage is also drastically slight, so you can fall farther distances and survive. To me, these two particularities create a subtly broader sense of exploratory possibility that you don’t get in FromSoftware’s later Eurocentric games, despite Dark Souls’ addition of a running jump mechanic. This sense of possibility is not proportional to what you can actually do; rather, it is about what you feel that the game might allow you to do.

• For a miscellaneous conclusive entry: I went through the 2009 reviews for Demon’s Souls on Amazon a while back to see what English-speaking/writing people were comparing it to. Nowadays, we have the bland, readymade term “Souls-like”, but, a decade and several months ago, Demon’s Souls seemed to many people outside of Japan to have come out of nowhere, making their likenings interesting to read (of note, too: even among the 800+ reviews, spanning from 2009 to 2020, King’s Field is mentioned less than ten times). I recognize that the image is blurry, and have, for accessibility, written the selected quotes out below.

This game strikes out to be a bit of a throwback 1980s style RPG in both difficulty and handholding (or lack thereof). If you played and enjoyed the original Wizardrys, Ultimas, and AD&D *Gold Box* games, this is your ride. This game was designed for you.

This game is not hack n’ slash. I repeat, NOT HACK N’ SLASH. Those of you expecting a game like Diablo 2 or God of War will probably be a little confused when you are getting destroyed by every little puny enemy in game.

I like this game, but I wanted to love it. I was hesitant to own it because I am a little old for hardcore games that everyone praises for their difficulty, but I was persuaded to try it because of fond memories of a wonderfully difficult combat RPG called Severance Blade of Darkness. Unable to find a rental I bought it. Sadly, I think this game does not measure up to the reviews.

The RPG system of Demon’s Souls is quite reminiscent of Vagrant Story’s, allowing players to increases stats and equipment as they like, without following a set path. You must choose a particular class to begin, but you can then develop however you like. It is entirely possible to start as a barbarian and become a mage, or choose to spread your stats equally. The path you choose will, however, have a drastic effect on how the game is played.

This Demons Souls has definately redefined a “HARD” game. Reminds me of the game ICO, yet makes me feel that Im actually there. You may die alot, but each time you do, it is always your fault. I mean this in the literal sense. No more button mashing.

Some people may compare the toughness to games like the Devil May Cry or Ninja Gaiden series, but in my view, although it may be as tough, it’s in a very different way. Whereas with DMC or NG you had to wide awake and really on top of things to both enjoy it and actually get anywhere, I find it’s actually possible to play Demon’s Souls while half asleep. DS is more about being careful and not entering an area until you’re absolutely sure your character is completely prepared.

1st: this game is very much like a modernized old nintendo game, for better & worse. I would liken it even to Deadly Towers(gasp!), but I mean that in the good way. You’re dropped in an extremely difficult gameworld with almost no introduction, you’re character starts out very weak and you need to explore (carefully!) to find some loot that will begin to make you stronger.

Gameplay: It’s hard to describe Demon’s Souls since it feels like something you’ve played before yet you couldn’t think of it if you tried. Essentially imagine the 3rd person swordplay of Oblivion, world traversing of Zelda and RPG elements of pretty much every one you’ve tried in the past 10 years.

[justabeadlizard]

STAR WARS CHARACTERS THAT WAISTED POTENTIAL IN THE SEQUALS

I am in no way saayig i liked these characters i just think they could have had better and more satisfying arcs. Sorry for the spelling and grammer also i forgot the movie names 

Criteria: 1. They were in the 1st and 2nd movie. The third had no room to introduce new people or give them satisfying character arcs. 2. i remember them. at the time i begin its 12:35 am and i hope god kills me

8. that force kid

ya know that one kid who had the force at the end of the second movie and was never addressed??? with the broom??? its like this post where were they going with that???

7. Captain Phasma

i forgot who played her but she was like.....cool and should have been a scarier villian. she did demonstrate girl power by not having tity armor, proving some of the storm troopers could have been girls this entire time, and having cool armor. but thats it

6. Hux

look i dont like this bastard i just think he could have had a consistant charcter?? like bad guy, prank called, spy???? BITCH WHERE!!! he had an Aesthetic and they trashed it. also when did we all decied he had a cat????

5. Kylo Ren/Ben Solo

i might not like hux but i hate this guy. and i hate him so much because he’s my fav trope done bad. like look i SIMP for Zuko ok? like absoulutely and Kylo?? he had potential. the whole han stabbed himself would have been genuenly cool. the force parter thing? rad! the idea that there needs to be both light and dark for the universe to be balanced and with a power couple?? love that! if he had a genuenie redemption and felt bad and appologized to all those he hurt. but disney just said bAgIc TrAcKsToRy and robbed us of what could have been a cool character. i have so many emotions about him but i also hate this stinky man

4. Rose Tico

Rose’s sister did not die with a fucking matching space necklace for rose to go out the window in ROS. like that i get i wasnt expecting them to be like Pacific Rim and let her mourn her siblings but she and Finn kiss and that is never addressed. at all. like what? what was happening god were the 2nd and 3rd movies even connected??? she deserved so much better!!!! i love her!! another kickass woman lead!!

3. Poe Damion

ok first off hes gay so write that down. but also he is sorta robbed in the second movie right?? like i wuld have loved for him to spend time with Finn. like that scarf in movie a la 3 but like theres nothing. hell the comp het they making him do in 3 isnt even that hard of an effort and that one detail that he’s waiting to give his lover his mothers ring??? god use that why dont ya. im loosing my grip on the physical world at this point

2. Rey

so like did her parents matter or not??? Im confused. also why did we need to know that palpatine knocked someone up. let her parents not matter or have them matter!!! She’s a cool female protag but peop[le still be out here like women cant force bend. I DONT CARE SAY UR SEXIST BUT LET HER BE A WILD AND MESS GIRL!!!!!! LET HER HAVE JUST AS MUCH GROWTH AND RESPECT AS LUKE!!!!!! i want to care about her but ive lost that along with my ability to smell

1. Finn

hey ya know who are some of my fave characters? the clones. why? because of their very unique perspective. they fight in this war yet most of them have no illusions. they were built to kill until they are inevitably sacrificed on the battle field. Stormtroopers are evenmore so as they are not even allowed to make familial connections or have names in the system. Finn could have been such a cool character with such a cool perspective. also his force sensitivity should have played a larger point in the movie. in the scene were he gets a bloody handprint on his face it would have been so much more rewarding if we knew that as a force user he was an empath and felt that person die. the implacations of a thing i just now realized. think about it!!! raised in a cold emotionless place and the first major emotion spike is death?? im aware that as a trooper that wouldnt have been the first major moment he felt others emotions but what if that was the one where he figured out what was happening, willingly amplifiyed that persons emotions so he could fell them more clearly and then felt them die. also he and poe were dating 

THE SINGULAR EDIT THAT WILL EXIST--THE ONES WHO WERE DONE DID DIRTY THE MOST WERE THE CAST!! I STAN ALL OF THEM AND ALSO EVERYONE WHO HAD TO WORK ON THOSE COULD HAVE BEEN GOOD MOVIES THANK YOU AND STAN JOHN BOYEGA ESPECIALLY NOW

in conclusion, im not sorry and i do make the rules. i will never edit tjis and it is 1:16 am, my limbs are week and i cant spell. luke should be on there but i feel like i can make another 12-1 am review about him a lone so maybe i will. im going into a comma now  030

[themattress]

Pokemon Franchise Narrative Comparison

To this day, there have been only three other mediums that have run for as long as the core Pokemon game series has: the anime series, the Pokemon Adventures manga series, and the Trading Card Game. With the obvious exception of the TCG, these have all had narrative arcs within each passing generation, and I want to use this post to compare their quality.

GEN I Games: Red/Blue/Green/Yellow Anime: Original Series: Indigo League + Orange Islands (The Beginning) Manga: Red/Blue/Green Chapter, Yellow Chapter  

1st Place - Manga. The original R/B/G Chapter brings the world of the Game Boy games to life in stunning accuracy, while also its own spin on certain things and crafting a simple yet sophisticated coming-of-age narrative, with the Yellow Chapter being its Actionized Sequel that raises the stakes even higher and deepens everything within this manga series. Add to this clear influence from the anime and the fact that it’s the only Gen I product to feature the character of Green in it, and we have the definitive story for the franchise’s first generation.

2nd Place - Anime. While increasingly less faithful to the details of the games, the anime remained very faithful to the spirit of them while telling its own coming-of-age tale for Ash Ketchum in the Indigo League series, plus a “postgame scenario” equivalent with the Orange Islands series. The highlight of this story is definitely how it fleshes out the games’ main antagonists: Gary Oak, Team Rocket and Mewtwo, into interesting, memorable characters.

3rd Place - Games. The 8-bit adventure that started it all is incredibly bare-bones and basic: take the Pokemon League challenge, thwart the evil Team Rocket along the way, and if possible fill up that Pokedex with all 151 Pokemon (”Gotta Catch ‘Em All!”). As a story, it’s not very interesting, but as an excuse for gameplay it works marvelously and established a winning formula for the series, and to this day it’s still charming in its wholesome simplicity.

GEN II Games: Gold/Silver/Crystal Anime: Original Series: GS (Gold and Silver) Manga: Gold/Silver/Crystal Chapter

1st Place - Manga. It’s funny - in the first volume of the G/S/C Chapter, things seemed to be a definite downgrade from the Kanto-based arcs that came before in terms of artwork, characterization and narrative. But then the mysterious masked antagonist appears at the end, and from then on out things just keep escalating to such epic heights that it becomes the best Johto story in the franchise and arguably the best arc in the whole manga series! Practically everyone and everything from the previous two arcs end up joining up with the new elements and the series up to this point is brought to a satisfying, conclusive note. 

2nd Place - Games. While the League challenge and Pokedex narrative threads are basically the same as before, and the Team Rocket thread is actually weaker, this story also features a stronger regional setting, a stronger rival, and stronger characterization for side characters both old and new, especially in the special edition, Crystal, making it a welcome step-up.  

3rd Place - Anime. An attempt at a new narrative was notoriously abandoned early on, with Takeshi Shudo leaving the head writer position and the whole show devolving into formulaic Filler Hell. While the Johto League tournament that concluded the whole thing was good, there was barely a story to support getting there, and the main characters had all become Flanderized versions of their former selves by the end. Without question, the anime had jumped the shark. But Shudo did give us the best movie and an OVA that properly concluded Indigo League’s Mewtwo arc before he was through, so let’s not say it was a total waste.

GEN III Games: Ruby/Sapphire/Emerald, FireRed/LeafGreen Anime: Advanced Generation (Ruby and Sapphire) Manga: Ruby/Sapphire Chapter, FireRed/LeafGreen Chapter, Emerald Chapter

1st Place - Games. The first time that the games get first place, but only on the technicality that the other contenders are worse, since this really isn’t that big an improvement over the previous two generations’ game narratives. The biggest difference is that your character is the child of one of the Gym Leaders, and the evil team narrative thread (Team Aqua and/or Team Magma this time) builds to an epic high-stakes event that involves the Legendary Pokemon mascot of the game which will become a mainstay of the formula from now on. There is also the remakes of the original Gen I games, and aside from some small tweaks of improvement and a postgame scenario in an island archipelago (anime-inspired, perhaps?), the narrative is basically the same as it was before. Nothing outstanding, but serviceable. 

2nd Place - Manga. Talk about a mixed bag...the R/S Chapter started out with promise but ended up going to shit in its second half, the FR/LG Chapter was fantastic only to conclude with a bullshit last-minute cliffhanger, and the Emerald Chapter that connects the two arcs is just stereotypical, badly-written shonen crap with only a few good elements in it (plus some ironic enjoyment to be had in its batshit insane climax). On the whole, this was the weakest period that the manga series has ever had, despite Kusaka and Yamamoto’s best efforts.  

3rd Place - Anime. Beyond May and her character arc which, by some lucky fluke, came together wonderfully, the anime hadn’t improved that much from the Johto days. Hoenn was not done any justice (even the manga did a better job with it!), and the FRLG/Emerald composite for the filler arc afterward was just weird in spite of how entertaining half of it was. All in all, the anime hadn’t gotten a real narrative back. It was just going through the motions.

GEN IV Games: Diamond/Pearl/Platinum, HeartGold/SoulSilver Anime: Diamond & Pearl Manga: Diamond/Pearl Chapter, Platinum Chapter, HeartGold/SoulSilver Chapter

1st Place - Manga. Pokemon Adventures retakes its crown in this generation, with a phenomental two arcs in the Sinnoh region that are so linked that they essentially make up one whole story, and a brief, adequate arc in Johto that properly bridges the gap between those Sinnoh arcs and the Emerald arc before them. Whenever I think of Sinnoh, it’s the region portrayed in this manga that comes to mind, which is a testament to its high quality.

2nd Place - Games. One word can describe the narratives of these games: overcooked. There are a lot of good ingredients here that elevate the series’ storytelling to a new level, but way too many cooks who don’t have a unified idea of how to properly mix them together means that it becomes a muddled mess of mythology, philosophy and vague character motivations. This particularly pisses me off when it effects the otherwise solid Gen II remakes. However, the good elements are still good regardless, and as showcased by the following generation this was a necessary learning curve to get through, so it deserves some respect.

3rd Place - Anime. Ugh. Newly appointed head writer Atsuhiro Tomioka tries to have his cake and eat it too here, maintaining the anime’s banal filler formula while also attempting to tell a legitimate narrative, but he as just one man somehow manages to clutter up that narrative more than the several writers did for the games in this generation! It is an increasingly insufferable roller coaster of plot threads and supposed character arcs that are drawn out to the point of disinterest across four years, with you really feeling the disastrous pace when it takes a years’ worth of time between Ash winning his 7th badge and him winning his 8th. Combine this with the source material of the games being disrespected or cast aside perhaps worse than ever, and you get what I will always believe is the lowest point for the anime.  

GEN V Games: Black/White, Black 2/White 2 Anime: Best Wishes + Best Wishes Season 2 (Black and White) Manga: Black/White Chapter, Black 2/White 2 Chapter

1st Place - Games. With this generation, particularly with its first set of games, the learning curve undergone in Gen IV paid off. This is quite possibly the richest narrative in the whole game series in terms of plot, characterization and themes, and the peak of the traditional formula. Combined with stellar gameplay, it creates a high point that has yet to be matched.

2nd Place - Manga. The Black/White Chapter had a rough start, just copying the games’ plot almost to the letter but with the characterizations for the main characters truly being less than ideal (see what I did there?) However, once Black and White go their own separate ways the arc starts rapidly improving until it ends on a phenomenal high note that segues perfectly in the Black 2/White 2 arc that, like the Yellow arc, is an Actionized Sequel and, like the Platinum arc, is essentially the continuation and conclusion of the same story as in the previous arc. The only real mark against it is that it can be too fast-paced which only adds to the frustrating irony of the absolutely Hellish schedule slip it underwent (8 fucking years for an arc of just 24 chapters / 3 volumes to be completed! It’s never going to live that fact down!)

3rd Place - Anime. Kind of the reverse of the manga: had a great start being the best that the anime has been in a long time, only to get progressively weaker, with the third and final year being a trainwreck of checking off plot points in a mad rush to promote the upcoming Gen VI and pander to the whiny fanboys who’d been complaining about the loss of the formula and D/P-style story writing (yes, they actually liked those) plus the “soft reboot” aspect going on, particularly with Ash. However, much like the Gen IV games, the Gen V anime proved to be a necessary learning curve for the future and is a highly impactful series in that regard, so it deserves respect for that (although I hate that both a natural disaster and the B2/W2 games screwed up the originally planned Team Plasma arc! It’s never going to live that fact down!) 

GEN VI Games: X/Y, Omega Ruby/Alpha Sapphire Anime: XY + XY&Z Manga: X/Y Chapter, Omega Ruby/Alpha Sapphire Chapter

1st Place - Manga. I thoroughly dislike the story of the X/Y games and the Delta Episode of OR/AS, so imagine my surprise when Pokemon Adventures actually makes something good out of them (or, in the Delta Episode’s case, something tolerable at best). The X/Y Chapter is a delightful deconstruction of a lot of what’s in the games, turning what was light and fluffy and hollow into something dark and suspenseful and meaningful. And the OR/AS Chapter gets points for being the best that Ruby and Sapphire have ever been characterized, to the point where they’ve been officially Rescued from my Scrappy Heap (Emerald’s still lame tho).

2nd Place - Games. Like I said, I dislike the X/Y games’ narrative and the Delta Episode of OR/AS; I think they are the worst writing the game series has ever seen to date. But the main narrative of OR/AS - the actual remake of the Gen III games which features a lot of new and necessary improvements - is solid, and that’s enough to put the games at second place here.

3rd Place - Anime. Similarly, the one thing the anime series does really well - the Myth Arc, which includes the Team Flare storyline - is not enough to elevate it beyond third place, because the rest of the series’ narrative is just as lame as the X/Y games’, there’s not much benefit from OR/AS elements, and everything that it positions in its shameful fan-pandering utterly fails to deliver or add up to anything meaningful in the end. The Mega Evolution specials pretty clearly demonstrate that this should have been Alain’s show, not Ash’s.

GEN VII Games: Sun/Moon/Ultra Sun/Ultra Moon Anime: Sun & Moon Manga: Sun/Moon/Ultra Sun/Ultra Moon Chapter

1st Place - Games. The Gen V games have serious competition story-wise with the Gen VII games. Both S/M and US/UM are excellent, with things not done so well in one being done better in the other and vice-versa to the point where they compliment each other beautifully.

2nd Place - Anime. Miracle of miracles! For the first time since Gen I, the anime series gets its narrative in second place, with Daiki Tomiyasu and Aya Matsui completely reinventing it in a refreshingly fun and vibrant way. There are some missed opportunities here and there, but overall it’s a perfect adaptation of the Alola region and everything that makes it so great.

3rd Place - Manga. While this is still an arc of good quality that I like, it’s also perhaps the most disappointing since Ruby/Sapphire back in Gen III. After doing so well with Sinnoh, Unova and Kalos, one senses that Kusaka and Yamamoto struggled to adapt Alola to that same standard, and while the decision to keep US/UM as part of the same arc rather than be a separate one was wise, it’s during the US/UM half of the arc that things really start falling apart and the wasted potential of stuff that got set up earlier becomes overbearing. It doesn’t help that the leads are an unlikable hero with an interesting, relatable goal and a likable heroine with an uninteresting, unrelatable goal respectively. Let’s hope that the patchwork done in the volume releases fixes some of the problems so that I can like this arc even more.

GEN VIII Games: Sword/Shield Anime: New Series (Journeys) Manga: Sword/Shield Chapter

1st Place - Manga. As I recently stated, Kusaka and Yamamoto are back at their A-Game with this arc, taking advantage of all that was lacking in the games’ story and utilizing them in an interesting narrative that I can’t wait to further experience alongside our surrogate, Marvin.

2nd Place - Games. If the Gen IV games’ narrative was overcooked, then the narrative of the games four generations later is most definitely undercooked. It’s not the worst story - that’s still Gen VI - but it’s possibly the most disappointing since it’s so easy to see how it could have been better and you are left baffled as to why the writers didn’t go in that direction.

3rd Place - Anime. This series is highly enjoyable thanks to the continued leadership of Daiki Tomiyasu, but not only is there not as much of a narrative as there’s been in earlier shows, it isn’t even uniquely Gen VIII-based: taking place across all regions in the Pokemon World and taking influence from mobile games like Go (released in Gen VI) and Masters (released in Gen VII).  Add to that the unfortunate hiatus it’s now on and it can’t help but be placed last.

[broodsys]

excuse me while i dive into excessive detail abt my garden :')

cracks knuckles

so. so. we moved here smth like 9 years ago, at which point the previous owners had a chicken coop and wooden deck taking up most of the backyard. (side note: i'm almost certain there wasn't adequate space for the chickens)

credit goes to my mom for a lot of the major renovation into what it is now. the wooden deck was rotting and becoming increasingly dangerous, so with my brothers helping they all tore down the entire deck. it took a lot of time to physically stabilize and level the yard enough for it to be at least semi-functional after that, but we eventually ended up with a section of paver stones and a wide area of open soil

so much trial and error during these stages that im not going into bc im writing a blog post, not a novella, but suffice to say my current success was not easily or quickly won. i think the major turning point was when i did a "lasagna"/sheet mulch on the would-be garden area to enrich the soil, bc that was rly the first, big mark i made on the area

from there, it's grown finally into two planting beds made of those concrete blocks with 2 big holes cut out, which is important bc i wanted to and now have planted a ton in these "planting pockets" as i call them. they're marvelously appropriate for microgreens and also to keep track of small bulbs i want to see bloom but can't decide where to place permanently, lmao

in the last, idk, maybe 2 years ive rly leaned into it hard. now i have prolific blackberries, and i'm cutting down all the blackberries along the side yard after this season so the marionberry can replace it - natives > invasives, after all. (not that i can stop the blackberries from growing - they're all over the place, incl a lot of other ppl's property and sneaking over)

at the same time, my blueberry trio will have thoroughly established and my red raspberry should be doing great, considering how many berries we got off it this year, the year we bought it. goji berries are growing but slowly, so i'm not expecting much, but the gooseberry is taking off again. so wild, i love it. and the prickly pear cactus suffered root rot and i almost lost it, but i believe ive successfully rooted the topmost segment. it'll take time but i should eventually be able to try the cactus fruit. years tho.

also all my strawberry groundcover layers are doing rly well, and i get the occasional strawberry off them, tho they're mostly for evaporation control. it's still a challenge to grow a lot of veggies bc it's just not hot enough for them here, but im still doing rly good overall

oh, and my lemon tree is doing outrageously well... this year it's putting out leaves longer and wider than my hand. that's new. and the baby lemon tree i grew from seed from the first-ever harvested lemon from the original tree is putting out So Fucking Much new growth, i'm thrilled

my various planting areas are doing super well, too. rly beginning to fill them in. i have pink jasmine trellising by the front door and it's getting so full; two kinds of lilac along the front path; newly, a pretty and fragrant pink-blooming weigela shrub. three canna lillies (which aren't actual lillies, which i refuse to grow anywhere bc they're immensely toxic to cats) all with different flowers, and for the first time i found some seeds before they had developed their rly hard outer shell, so i'm trying to grow some more from seed. exciting!

im quite confident that the front long & skinny & hella shallow planter will have its usual forest of arugula, endive, and sage - but will hopefully also have miners lettuce. oh and the mum that somehow became a giant shrub in a tiny pot set in said long planter. ive had to brace it multiple times, it's sheer size is unreal

and im discovering that hellebores in our area remain evergreen thru summer after they're 2nd-3rd established year. just the leaves ofc, but it's still rly cool, i'm so proud of them. and i finally have some outdoor ferns that have stabilized and come back multiple times!

[superemeralds]

Same anon who asked about Chris & Cosmo. Now that you mentioned it, I do recall a LOT of missed opportunities that the makers of Sonic X could've used *cough*Mephiles the Dark*cough*. Mind explaining for me?

ive mentioned cosmo in my previous post, now im gonna talk abt chris a little here,,,, sorry its not as long as i planned but i just never have the time to write much :’/

soooo. chris. i think if he had more distinct character development and had an easier time letting go of sonic (or he had a better reason to have a hard time of saying good bye to him) would be better

chris’ whole deal was that he had to learn what it meant to rely on oneself and friends. but most of all what it means to make desicions for yourself and to do what YOU think is right and be independent!

BUT BY THE END CHRIS WAS STILL DEPENDENT ON SONIC, in fact he was SO dependent on sonic that after having learned to let go in the end of season 2.... HE SPENDS SEVERAL YEARS BUILDING A PORTAL TO SONICS WORLD TO GET BACK INTO THAT DEPENDANCE?? he is less dependent on sonic himself then, but he is still feeling like he is not worth anything if he can’t hang out with his alien friends and go on weird adventures with them (i also don’t see the point of him going back to his own world in the end like. u wanted to be here son.)

i feel like he should’ve developed him more in the first two seasons and then left him out in the 3rd