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crescentgames272 · 4 years

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What do each part do for a gaming pc

Unforgettable Moments In Gaming Part 3

It really is time to recognize the finest gaming blogs of the year. EDIT:I made use of to watch the Feedback video over at G4 just about every week, but it is gone down hill the last couple of occasions I watched it and now that Adam Sessler isn't on it and they have that girl from IGN that every person hates in each and every episode I just cannot be bothered to watch it any far more. Nevertheless worth going back and watching some of the older ones though. Klepic applied to be on that show and back then in the early days was when it was the very best. Back when they in fact talked about gaming news with some semblance of intellect as an alternative of just gushing about what ever game they are told is cool this week.

You are quietly accepting and at peace with your choice to become a board gamer for life. Your family knows you adore board games and almost certainly play them with you. Your friends know really like board games, and you have good gaming groups. You have committed to assigning aspect of your home to be a board gaming area. For the first time, you've started to eliminate games from your collection. Perhaps you have sold the games, or you basically do not have space to preserve virtually all of them. Mentally you accept that you do not will need to play every game, and you have likely narrowed down a handful of games that you want to play often.

I got into action games late but when I did it completely changed how I viewed gaming forever. The game which brought me round was Viewtiful Joe. Right here was a game with a deep and open-ended combat method which seemed to be constructed as a means for the player to express creativity. This system is then pitted against opponents and obstacles which have been created from the ground up to interact meaningfully with the core program. The course was fixed, but the technique for dealing with that course was completely down to the ingenuity, talent and inspiration of the player. You play like you have a huge audience watching and the game regularly entices you to increase the concentrate is not basically on acquiring the player from A to B, the concentrate is on finding the player to play Viewtifully”.

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ordinaryschmuck · 4 years

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Top 20 BEST Animated Series of the 2010s-16th Place

All aboard the hate train! Because I’m about to say a show people would put in their top tens where it hasn't even made my top fifteen!

CHOO-CHOO!

#16-Regular Show (2010-2017)

The Plot: Two twenty-something slackers named Mordecai and Rigby are working in a local park named...The Park (Yeah, it’s a pretty lazy title when you think about it). When they’re not doing work, they’re usually slacking off by playing video games and hanging out as best bros should. However, amongst their sacred duty to avoid work at all costs, these two friends learn the ordinary isn’t as regular as one would think. Can they survive whatever life throws at them without getting fired? Judging by the number of seasons this show got...probably.

One thing I should mention right away is that this series was the perfect show for teenagers...and the occasional stoned college student. But teenagers, most of all! Or at the very least, teenagers in late middle school and early high school. And when I say that, I don’t mean that Regular Show panders to teens by using slang or sexy women (most of the time), but it at least knows how to talk to them. And it all has to do with the situations Mordecai and Rigby find themselves in.

Aside from when Mordecai and Rigby are forced to fight demons and monsters, any teen can relate to what Mordecai and Rigby go through in Regular Show. Most teens wish to escape responsibilities to play video games or to just goof off. And the lengths that Mordecai and Rigby go through to make that happen helps the target audience root for them. Teens can also relate to the personal issues Mordo and Rigs face. Rigby often struggles with growing up and trying to become a better person. He often comes across as annoying at times, but his attempts to change are both admirable and even relatable. Then there’s Mordecai, who faces something more dangerous than any monster these guys have met: Relationship issues (and also self-doubt, but it’s the relationship issues that the show focuses more on).

Now I know that I’ve complained about romantic subplots in the past and that for some fans, the romance was what dragged this series down as well, but I personally think the romantic subplots are one of the best things about the show. Mordecai’s struggles to have/keep a girlfriend is something that most guys (and maybe even some girls) can relate to. And while I would rather have the show focus more on his self-doubt rather than relationship drama, there is still the essence of self-doubt as seen through how he struggles with making the first move with a girl. The best example of this is in the episode “It’s Time," where Mordecai keeps chickening out to ask out Margret and ends up paying the consequences for it. The self-doubt is still there, but it’s just hidden under romantic drama. However, there is a love triangle, but it lasts no more than just a season-long and is completely tame compared to Star V.S. the Forces of Evil.

And while Regular Show primarily focuses on Mordecai’s love life, there are still other relationships in the show that manage to also be pretty entertaining. I legitimately love the fact that Muscle Man and Starla is the perfect couple, even though it’s revolting to see them be romantic with each other. Not only is it hilarious, but it even comes across as sweet at times. Speaking of sweet (kinda spoilers ahead), both Rigby and Eileen are adorable in later seasons. Rigby is far from perfect, but he honestly tries to be better and more understanding of Eileen. The best part is that Eileen doesn’t encourage him to do this. She likes Rigby for Rigby. Faults and all. Not only is that something most romantic partners should try to aim for, but it’s really adorable to see. (kinda spoilers over). And while not romantic in the slightest, the friendship between Mordecai and Rigby is honestly the best. They both have a great dynamic, and the interactions they have with each other legitimately feel like I’m watching real best friends having fun. I’m not kidding when I say there are actual moments where I forget that these are just characters voiced by people in a booth. Because they come across as THAT authentic.

Speaking of characters, I'm amazed by how there isn’t one in this series that I hate. Or at the very least, not a single character that I’ve learned to deal with. As for characters I love, Benson is on the top of that list. Not only are his frustrations with Mordecai and Rigby hilarious at times, but his struggles to have a life with meaning is something all of us can relate to. Then there's Skips, who is this stoic badass who actually has more layers to him than one might realize. Both Pops and Muscle Man also have great depth to them, one more than the other, while also managing to be the funniest characters. The only characters I really have slight problems with are Margaret, Thomas, and High Five Ghost (Yes, that’s actually his name). Margaret has little to no development until season seven, and even then, there’s really not much done with her. As for Thomas, he was forced into the story, and I felt nothing when he eventually got written out. Then there’s Fives, who doesn’t really have any personality other than being Muscle Man’s bro. While I’ve grown to live with these characters being in the show, they still have problems that I can’t really ignore.

And while we’re on the topic of problems, there is one main issue that I should mention first, and that’s the fact that this show is so weird. That stoned college student jab wasn’t just a joke because it honestly feels like you have to be high to understand the logic of this show's production. Just from looking at the main cast alone, I struggle to wonder how J.G. Quintel came up with these ideas. Not only that but the situations these characters find themselves in can range from bizarre to holy-crap-someone-had-to-be-high-while-making-this. And somehow-SOMEHOW-it gets weirder with each passing season. Sometimes I’m okay with shows embracing the weirdness, but even I have a limit for this series.

Another problem I should mention is Regular Show’s animation. The animation in this series is not all that great. Usually, that isn’t a problem because it relies on dialogue and bizarre imagery to entertain viewers. However, there are occasions when Regular Show utilizes action scenes, and that is when the poor animation really drags the series down. There’s neither weight nor choreography for any of the fights. And rarely can you feel the punches that the characters exchange with each other. Because of this, the action feels both slow and kind of boring at times. A problem that wouldn’t exist if the series had just slightly better animation.

However, what really drags this series down is its seasonal rot. By season five (six if I’m feeling generous), the show starts to lose its magic. The first thing to leave is its maturity. I don’t know if it’s child censors catching up with the writers or if the target audience just got younger, but it is painful to see this show become more kid-friendly. It used to not be afraid of having the characters be in the middle of a shootout (with real guns and rocket launchers, by the way), but by season seven, the series resulted in using lasers and bean bag guns. What also eaves is the show’s sense of humor. At first, the jokes were pretty funny. But after a while, they start to lose their mojo and can be awkward at times. But none of this compares to what happens in Regular Show’s final season. Without giving too much away, the eighth season puts the characters in an environment that doesn’t really fit the show. There are times where even the characters don’t feel like themselves, and it gets to the point where it seems like I’m no longer watching Regular Show anymore. I don’t know how other fans felt about that season, but that’s how I felt throughout most of it (It’s also been four years since the finale, and I still don’t understand how the last two minutes are even possible).

Regular Show is not meant for everyone. Hell, at a point, it no longer became the perfect show for its original target audience. However, that doesn’t mean there’s nothing to enjoy. It’s funny, has great characters, and while it gets pretty weird at times, most fans loved that weirdness for six years. It’s nowhere near the best show in the 2010s, but it was still a good show. A jolly good show indeed.

(That last line makes more sense if you seen the series)

#top 20 of 2010s #regular show #what i thought about

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gamingbugs542 · 4 years

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What is a non gaming license

50 Ideal Gaming Web-sites To Stop by In 2017

It really is time to recognize the best gaming blogs of the year. EDIT:I made use of to watch the Feedback video more than at G4 just about every week, but it really is gone down hill the final couple of instances I watched it and now that Adam Sessler isn't on it and they have that girl from IGN that everybody hates in each and every episode I just can't be bothered to watch it any more. Still worth going back and watching some of the older ones although. Klepic employed to be on that show and back then in the early days was when it was the greatest. Back when they basically talked about gaming news with some semblance of intellect instead of just gushing about whatever game they are told is cool this week.

The close to future promises a bunch of new possibilities for Pc and mobile games. It means we will appreciate high high quality gaming content material no matter what device is made use of. Hey guys! I am looking for indie gaming blogs out there that are truly good. There is an endless supply of gaming resources on-line if you know where to look or who to speak to.

I got into action games late but when I did it entirely changed how I viewed gaming forever. The game which brought me round was Viewtiful Joe. Right here was a game with a deep and open-ended combat technique which seemed to be constructed as a implies for the player to express creativity. This system is then pitted against opponents and obstacles which had been designed from the ground up to interact meaningfully with the core system. The course was fixed, but the technique for dealing with that course was fully down to the ingenuity, talent and inspiration of the player. You play like you have a huge audience watching and the game consistently entices you to strengthen the concentrate is not simply on having the player from A to B, the focus is on getting the player to play Viewtifully”.

Nowadays is the day! I will be steadily releasing the names of the major ten gaming blogs of 2014. Looking over this list, I am positively blown away. So a lot of great posts this year! If you were disappointed by the Ennies… if you assume that the real deep thinkers in gaming commentary do not get the interest they deserve… nicely, people, we are going to fix that.

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darkestwolfx · 4 years

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Legacy - Re-Review #26

We’ve made it! The end of Series 1 is here!

“This is so not good.”

Yeah, I’m with you Gordon.

Because with the end of series one here, of course, so is The Hood. You can’t have a series finale without your series villain. Wouldn’t it be disastrous if this image was how it all ended? Yeah, no thank you. Still, it has to be said that his timing has not improved - because, excuse me Hood, but you don’t interrupt a girl when she’s trying to tell her family something really important! Seriously, this family hardly ever get the time they should together and he interrupts them for a trick? I’m not even going to mention how well planned and thought out it was because I don’t want to be giving the villain credit, but damn he is intelligent.

"Next time.”

“I just hope I’m not too late.”

“Me too.”

And of course we all know that means that it will be. I also love how right from the start in ‘Ring of Fire’, Grandma has been shown to know the truth. She’s a good secret keeper.

Legacy - good title for many reasons. International Rescue was always seen and implied to be Jeff’s legacy, so it makes complete sense.

“It’s like the perfect storm of emergencies all across the globe.”

Of course it is. Because The Hood is actually a good, but ultimately bad, villain!

And look at Grandma back in the main seat and helping out.

“And I’ll take over monitor duty!”

She sounded so happy with that option.

That Island launch for Thunderbird Four though... I have been waiting to see that for a long, long time. It kind of tributes to TOS ‘Terror in New York City’ which saw the only island launch of T4. I know (now of course, but I didn’t know it then), that we will see this launch procedure a few more times, but this first instance made me so, so happy!

And that launch montage that went with it was perfection.

“Everything is RAD.”

“RAD?”

“That’s my new catch phrase..?”

“Alright then.”

But let’s all be honest, everything is not RAD, or even FAB.

No, there’s trouble ahead!

“Tracy Island has been compromised!”

Kayo realised it, which is probably the lifesaving fact of this episode, because else it might have taken Lady P some time to realise and who knows what trouble The Hood could have caused (beyond what he does get away with anyway). Seriously though, this should have been a little expected from ‘Ring of Fire’. Apparently The Hood is good at making explosive devises.

“Scott, I’m back on the Island, we have a situation.”

“You’re not the only one. I’m looking at some kind of explosive devise.”

“Me too.”

“Same here.”

“It’s all of us.”

“You were right about us being tricked, Kayo.”

“That’s not our only problem. Tracy Island has a visitor.”

“Nice view. I think I’ll take it.”

Ur... Mr Hood... You are aware that this isn’t Homes under the Hammer or Escape to the Country or anything like that right? This is Thunderbirds Are Go - which kinda means the Island isn’t on the market.

“You lured every one of us into a trap.”

“And yet only you were able to see through it.”

Yep, family, I’m calling it - and I’ll explain my thinking on it later on in the review.

“When it comes to family, I’m a man of my word.”

I’m sure he is. Well, actually I think he could be. I think that could be the one honest quote The Hood has ever given us. After all, he did save Kayo’s life in ‘Touch and Go’ and he didn’t have to.

“It’s funny how our lives took such different paths. You on a fool’s mission to save the world. And me-”

“Bent on destroying it?”

“Hardly. I want to build. Create. Sometimes that means starting with a clean slate.”

See now that is the sort of brilliant back story hints I’m also going to talk about a bit later! I really wish they’d continued to the end. And let’s just ignore The Hood’s little bit of poetry in that last line. I don’t think he realised that create and slate rhymed... If he did, maybe he’s in the wrong business.

“Execute WASP protocol Alpha.”

That’s another nice reference to TOS backstory considering Gordon worked for WASP.

“I am not amused, Kayo! What have you done?”

Turned into Queen Victoria (apparently) have you now, Hood?

Hmm... anyone see the resemblance..? Because I don’t.

“You have to trust me.”

“Trust? Would he trust you knowing the kind of secrets you’ve been keeping?”

Here we go.

“What’s he talking about.”

“She’s been working for me the whole time.”

“That’s a lie.”

“Is it? And would I be lying when I tell them I’m your Uncle?”

“Kayo, is this true?”

“Yes, it’s true. The Hood is my uncle.”

“The Hood is your uncle? The same evil mastermind responsible for us losing Dad?”

Yes and yes, Gordon. But let’s see in the end we do know about most families that blood is thicker and water, and that family can always be the one we chose, not the one we have by strict genetics.

“There’s only one question we need to be asking ourselves now. What would Dad do?”

Well your Dad knew and still kept her as part of the family so... Yeah, I think they come to the right decision channeling their Father. After all, The Hood was responsible for them losing Jeff, Kayo played no part in that.

I’d also like to say that Grandma and MAX have a pretty good apprehension plan;

“You two look hungry.”

Cue tray of burnt cookies... yeah, I’d rather them than us.

Look at this team of brother’s. They’re unstoppable at the best of times, but we actually forget about a lot of the ground work that Kayo does which is what actually allows these boys to swoop in and be the heroes.

Yes, they probably would have coped, but had they not turned up, I’m pretty sure Kayo still would have had a back-up plan to make sure The Hood didn’t get away. In fact, we should remember that the boys being able to be here to stop The Hood was essentially also part of Kayo’s (hoped) plan.

International Rescue may not be in the “bad guy chasing business” unless they’re making “exceptions”, but the fact is that Kayo, like a shadow (much like the deserved name of her Thunderbird), is always looking out for them even when we don’t necessarily see it. The fact is that her knowing The Hood as her Uncle probably made her know him better. There is a proven statistic that you are more likely to die at the hand of someone that you know. It is also proven that you are more likely to be able to survive at the hands of someone you know - because you know them well enough to either be able to predict or manipulate what they will do.

Kayo may not live with The Hood and she may not accept him as her family, but the fact is, she still knows he lives and thrives off manipulation and mind tricks, and she reflects those right back at him in getting him to think he is gaining and then blowing up Tracy Island. Throwing his own tricks right back at him... pretty successful plan I’d say.

The Hood’s face as they break apart his ship! That was well warranted though in my opinion, and really if we look back at The Hood’s history of escape attempts in TOS we should have known they’d catch up with him in TAG eventually. I mean (warning: big TOS spoilers ahead), we had;

A plane crash [into a building] (’Martian Invasion’)

Car tumbling into a river (’The Edge of Impact’)

Flooded, crashed and exploded submarine (’Desperate Intruder’)

Car falling off a crumbling cliff side (’Cry Wolf’)

Car shot at, set alight, and tumbling over a cliff (’Trapped in the Sky’)

But crucially, he always survived them all - even though I personally think the events of ‘Trapped in the Sky’ and ‘Martian Invasion’ had very slim chances of survival. On the other hand, in ‘Cry Wolf’ he got lucky to be caught on the cliff side and so not in the upturned car - which is actually highly probably in cliff side car falls, because clothes snag on rock and vine (although injuries are usually major, like internal bleeding or debris puncture wounds). But from all that Scott could see it did look highly probable that he couldn’t have survived;

“He couldn’t have stood a chance. Well I guess that’s the last crooked game you’ll ever play.” (Scott, ‘Cry Wolf’)

In fact, out of the six episodes in which The Hood was the main villain, he only made a clean getaway in ‘The Mighty Atom’ and the others - in most real life cases - would have resulted in series injury and/or death. So we should have expected his clean getaways in TAG - ‘Crosscut’, ‘Fireflash’, ‘Unplugged’, ‘Under Pressure’, ‘Touch and Go’ - would eventually come to an end.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m9pq-4ojxFA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXokXzofNjs

Back when TAG first aired, it was kinda rumoured that Amazon had funded more series’, so I kinda knew The Hood would probably be back in some way, shape or form, but re-watching it again now, I can see all the clues in the animation of how The Hood takes his defeat.

For all the ‘scooby-doo’ moments of-

“Curse those stupid boys, curse their stupid father, curse International Rescue!” (’Cry Wolf’)

As a side note I could go on here about how disappointed i was with TAG’s backstory on The Hood, especially considering this implication and all the one’s they gave us prior, but I’m actually going to do that (and the rest of this) in a separate post, so keep your eyes open.

-along with a miraculous escape which they gave us in TOS, in this it’s defeat taken quietly in the end and that gave everything away; no villain of The Hood’s caliber would go quietly. Not to mention, we know he’s smart and has some serious tech, for we saw him get into a GDF jail to see Janus in ‘Chain of Command’. No cell can hold him and now we’re ready for series 2.

And to end with, this soundtrack is legendary - and not just for the CD cover - I completely recommend it!

By the way, as a complete side note, has anyone else (in the UK at least) noticed all the TV glitches lately? Little coloured lines and patches jumping across the screen or scenes pushing and then skipping ahead a couple seconds? I ask just out of pure interest!

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yakumtsaki · 5 years

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Welcome, dear readers, to Part 2 out of 3 of the Union Comeback Season Premiere Episode (title under construction, part 1 here). Right off the bat, let me just admit what everyone is thinking, yes, mass-deleting default replacements was clearly a huge mistake. Looking good in the heart boxers, boys, especially Jojo! Very on brand and not at all ridiculous. On a lesser but equally annoying note, our windows have suddenly turned red while the exterior AND interior of the house are purple. Dark days ahead..

..but not for Goro, who has returned home since running away and is immediately being kicked out again. Good to see you Goro, now pack up your shit, D’vorah won the cat heir position so it’s time for you to move to Melody and Daniel’s farm.

-Well I’m a cat so I don’t have any possessions to pack.

Thank you for providing an example of why you lost the cat heirship via this painfully boring reaction to the news of your defeat.

-No, he’s right, we cats don’t have any possessions to pack.

Omg D’vorah shut up. How on earth you boring flops are Alegra/Ronroneo’s grandchildren AND Sophie’s children I’ll never understand. I’m this close to making Maxx the cat heir and he’s not even a cat.

-Correct, I’m a dog.

Worst group of pets e v e r.

Oh look who autonomously woohooed for the first time in a century, I guess those base game heart boxers were simply too hot to resist. If one of you gets knocked up a week away from elderhood I’m gonna have a meltdown the likes of which the world has never seen.

-For the love of God, can we get some privacy here?

I’d love nothing more than to give you two bozos eternal privacy by never looking at either of you again, but the headmaster is here for Wulf so put some clothes on-

-WHAT THE FUCK. Why do we keep getting new headmasters instead of the ones we’ve already terrorized into submission?? Now we have to ‘show BJ a good time’ and ‘maybe we could give BJ a tour’, I’d honestly rather give BJ a bj and get this shit over with, I’m tired of threatening headmasters with murder. Hopefully it doesn’t come to sexual favors but if it does, Wyatt, you’re up.

-Pourquoi moi???

Pourquoi toi still haven’t gotten promoted and toi sleep 22 hours a day, it’s high time toi pulled your weight around here.

Good, that’s the spirit.

-Bonjour, monsieur Headmastér! I wòuld introdûce yoù to Wûlf but hé is très busý with unpàid çhild labόr.

-Haha, what a hilarious joke, Mr. Union!

-Alright Cinderello, after you’re done cleaning the flooding shower you’re going to need to jump out the second floor window and go study in the crypt, so the headmaster doesn’t see you and ask you any uncomfortable questions about whether I acknowledge you as my son. I have to go help your father charm our guest by giving my trademarked speech on how I never got impregnated by aliens and what a blow it was to humanity’s future.

-Ok Mr. Jojo!

-For the last time Wulf, it’s not ‘Mr. Jojo’, it’s ‘Mr. Union’. God.

-Ah hello there Headmaster BJ, apologies for my lateness, I was tucking little Wulf in bed because I definitely acknowledge him as my son. As I do all 3 of my children and not just Cyneswith. Ask anyone! But not Wulf or whatshername.. I want to say Shenar? Anyway, now that that’s been cleared up, what are we talking about here? The fact I never got impregnated by aliens and what a terrible blow it was to humanity’s future? I assumed as much.

-Haha aliens?! Well you are just a family of crack ups, does your son share this amazing sense of humor?

-Oh yes yes he definitely does, and he is definitely OUR son, that’s exactly how I view him as well, not solely as Wyatt’s offspring just because he appears to not have a drop of my DNA. I mean who even cares about that? Not me, that’s for certain. Yes, Wulf was just telling me the funniest joke while I was reading Cinderella to him before I put him to bed-

-Man, it’s so hard to concentrate on math with a broken leg from jumping out the window and Grandpa’s disembodied head floating around.

Grandpa’s disembodied head??

OH FUCK KOMEI

-What?

Nothing! Looking good! The decision to delete default replacements didn’t affect you in any way!

-Thank god, have you seen Vic with that base game hair? Talk about scary.

Yes, talk about scary indeed. Do you happen to know if the matchmaker performs the occasional exorcism?

-No idea.

Well she hates me anyway so that was solution was dead in the water. I have to go back to the headmaster fuckery now, but I want you to know I’m really sorry for what Salome did to you.

-Sό, monsieur Headmastér, the όnly tràck reçord which est bettér than the όne we havé with bébés wόrking, est the oné we havé with our animàls rûnning awaý!

-Oh my.

-He’s joking, he’s joking Headmaster BJ, we’re both excellent pet owners and excellent parents, if you’ll excuse me the phone is ringing-

-Cyneswith darling! An adult bartender is calling for you and he has the Komei face! You might be 14 but he’s clearly future husband material!

-Be right there, daddy!

-Alright, I think I’ve seen enough here.

No you haven’t! Wyatt, take off your robe!

-No need, I’ve made up my mind..

-..you’re obviously a perfect match for our school!

What the hell? How? Even by our standards we legit didn’t do shit.

-Headmaster Jitmakusol left a very distraught letter regarding your family before he was institutionalized, the gist of it being it is pointless to try and keep you people out of the school, and his successor should simply ‘roll with it’.

Well ok then! Pleasure doing business with you, BJ.

-The pleasure was all mine, please don’t ever contact me again.

We’ll make sure to be in touch.

In the meantime, Komei has recovered his body!

-Why me? WHY ALWAYS ME? CYNESWITH IS RIGHT THERE

-Sorry honey, we play poker for it every night and Victor won dibs on Cyneswith.

-That’s right, the first one to scare everyone gets ghost-bingo!

Are you fuckers playing ghost-poker or ghost-bingo?

-It’s a hybrid, we have a lot of time on our hands, being dead and all, so we developed an overcomplicated gambling system for our scares.

Yea ok congrats Victor, now can you fuck off before you actually do kill one of the kids?? They have 10/10/9 energy, they literally never sleep.

-No can do, if you actually kill someone you get Yahtzee!

How many fucking games are involved in this bullshit?

-We told you, we have a lot of time on our hands. SUCK IT VICTOR, I WIN FOR THE NIGHT

Win for the night? Who cares about that, you have Wyatt cornered, go for the Yahtzee!

-Oh, but you said our games were bullshit!

That’s before I realized Wyatt was awake for his allotted 2 hours per day non-sleeping time. Wyatt istfg bro, are you half French-Arab and half panda?

-Pandàs eàt for 14 hourès idiόt, ne pas slèèp.

Well look who knows a suspicious amount about pandas now! Almost like he’s descended from them.

Oh good, everyone’s favorite couple simultaneously has the day off. How about I take you two out for a nice date at Londoste since you’re about 55 years old?

-How about hard pass on that architectural monstrosity of a restaurant and we hang out for 6 hours in our front yard instead?

-Oui, oui! Très blanc garbagè of us!

Well at least we’re not forgetting our roots.

Alright then, we’ve crossed into white trash territory unironically with the yard pda and we’re also freezing to death, how about we take this inside?

-Non!

-Yes, non indeed! I love how frozen your hands are, dear, it’s like you’re a real corpse!

Oh my G-

-Catch me, Creature!

-Je t'aime, dr. Frankènstèin!

Ok, new suggestion, how about instead of going inside we visit a nice church?

-How abοùt you lôôk awày, pervertir!

Bold words from someone doing Frankenstein roleplay, and I’D LOVE TO, but the kids are at school and the animals are sleeping, so there’s no looking away from whatever the fuck this is.

Oh thank god, Cyneswith is back from school and ready to cockblock her parents as always. First time I’m genuinely happy to see you, Cyn.

-Straight A’s again! Ah, we may only have one child but she is THE BEST. Wyatt dear, come here to congratulate Cyneswith and further inflate her ego. Wyatt?

-Why is he ignoring my straight A’s, daddy?!

-Ugh, he’s probably jealous since everyone is jealous of you, darling. Pay him no mind, let’s go inside so I can give you the diamond tiara I got you for your birthday.

-But my birthday is in four months, what will you get me then?

-A throne to go with it and anything you want from Sihara’s and the other one’s rooms?

-They have no rooms, remember? They both sleep in the crypt.

-Right, well how about I act like I got them presents, give them to you and make them watch as you unwrap them?

-Aw daddy💗

-Je ne pas fèèl bien..

Yes, you’re dying, so it’d be some real Frankenstein shit if you did feel bien.

Is this Komei-clone bartender serious, first he calls while the headmaster is over, now he calls while we’re dying, FEEL THE FUCKING ROOM PAL

..and there we go. RIP Wyatt, it’s been sorta ok having you in the fami-

-WTF HOW ARE YOU ALIVE

-HA. I lièd, I AM hàlf pandà and mon beàr gènes protéct moi!

GODDAMMIT I KNEW IT. Is that why the one child you gave birth to is your exact clone?

-Oui! Wulf est 1/4 pandà, et toi wènt et namèd him WULF.

Well, to be fair, not a lot of famous pandas I could have named him after even if I knew.

-Toi çould hàve namèd him Pandà!

Oh man, Panda Union does have a nice ring to it, especially next to the other names.. ~Shajar~, ~Cyneswith~ and PANDA. Thanks a lot for depriving me of the opportunity by withholding your genetic info.

-Je think Wulf est ontό it..

Onto the fact he’s 1/4 panda? I highly doubt that.

Yea nevermind, he knows.

Oh great, Shajar has brought yet another uggo with a culturally appropriative hairstyle home from school.

-That’s what you get for letting her out of the crypt.

Give it a rest, Jojo, we’ve had enough of your incredible parenting to last us 10 lifetimes at this point.

-And then it goes: I send the thunder from the sky, I send the fire raining down, I send a hail of burning ice, on every field, on every town! I send the locusts on a wind, such as the world has never seen, on every leaf, on every stalk, until there's nothing left of green! I send my scourge, I send my sword, THUS SAITH THE LORD🎵

-Great, thank you, Shajar, for singing the entirety of the ‘10 Plagues’ song from The Prince of Egypt 27 times. I’m really sorry but I have to go home now-

-It-was-nice-to-meet-you noogie!

..Shajar, please, PLEASE see a doctor.

-My sister Shajar may be super popular, spoiled and beloved-

WHAT LMAO

-but I have the friendship of animals and that’s all that matters!

Yea, Cyn, no offense, but it feels like you’re trying to cultivate an underdog Disney princess persona for yourself that is the exact opposite of actual family dynamics around here.

-What makes you say that?

Your tiara and throne vs Shajar sleeping in the crypt come to mind.

-So to be an underdog you need to be a loser?

I mean narrative-wise kinda, yea.

-Message received.

No, no that wasn’t a message-

-Yes it was and I got you, loud and clear.

Oh god.

-WHAT? YOU’RE REJECTING ME BECAUSE I’M TOO PRETTY? MY HEART IS BROKEN! I DON’T THINK I’LL EVER GET OVER THIS

-Uh, who are you again? Shajar invited me over, ordered a pizza and has been hiding in the bushes for 1 hour waiting to noogie the delivery guy.

-I CAN’T BELIEVE WHAT I’M HEARING! I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO SING ABOUT THIS IN AN ENCHANTED FOREST FOR ABOUT 3 AND A HALF MINUTES

Jfc, where are the ghosts when you need them.

-Mommy has dibs on you tonight, Jojo!

-Mom please no! Your hair is so damn hideous! Just stay in your urn until the default replacement has been put back!

-Ah excellent, I have upgraded my robotic abilities up to cleanbot level!

That actually is excellent, I really want us to fire Kaylynn.

-Cleanbots don’t change cat litter.

..UGH then why even bother, Jojo? The cat shit is 90% of our problems, make something that fixes that or stop wasting airtime with your nonsense. Istg some people.

-Alright sis, how about we go out again tonight and ~play the field~? If I get rejected by a couple more mean boys I can earn my underdog princess badge!

-You are so stupid, Cyneswith, if you want to earn your underdog badge all you need to do is board a doomed ship, Titanic style, and then give the floating door to someone you’ve known for a couple of days while you selflessly and pointlessly drown in the freezing ocean despite the fact you could take turns sharing the door.

-But then I would be dead.

-I know right? Everybody wins. Let’s go get you some tickets.

Yea, let’s not, but let’s get out of here because the ghosts are out of fucking control and you two aren’t sleeping anytime soon.

-Shaj-and-Cyn-in-da-club noogie!

Shajar FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, ENOUGH.

OMG IT’S SOPHIE MIGUEL. SOPHIE MIGUEL IN THE HOUSE

-Whaddup dildos, ‘tis I, Sophie fucking Miguel, the meanest townie teen there is. I’ve only taken 4 steps into this place and I can already tell I’m surrounded by a bunch of beta turbocucks.

SHAJAR GO TALK TO HER!!!!!

-HEY BITCH, I’M NOT A BETA TURBOCUCK, I’M ALPHA AS FUCK. I’M NAMED AFTER SHAJAR AL-DURR! DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHO THAT IS?

SHAJ WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING, WHAT IS THIS APPROACH

-Of course I do, the first Mamluk Sultana of Egypt. Nice.

OMG THAT SHIT WORKED. LAND THE PLANE SHAJ

-Ohhhhhhhh😍 Do you want to talk some more?? Do you like the 10 Plagues song from the Prince of Egypt???

-Nop, as suddenly as I came into your life, I’m dramatically getting the fuck out for no discernible reason, cause that’s just how I roll. Gone with the wind, baby! I’m like an outdoor cat. You’ll never see me again.

-Oh but I will..

YES YOU WILL SHAJ. I’m so on board this particular Titanicesque crackship that it’s un.real. I mean Sophie Miguel literally came into this place, talked to Shajar for less than one minute and then left the bar entirely, in turn leaving us dick in hand. What.an.icon.

In the meantime Cyneswith.. did this. Game-changing night for everyone!

#gen 2 #ts2

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zen3to5 · 4 years

Text

J/H 7-21: 2120 So. Michigan Ave.

As I said last time, these rewrites are now setting up for the series finale instead of just adjusting the Jackie/Hyde material, and that brings us to an episode where there is no Jackie/Hyde at all! Well, to be more specific - none of the scenes with Jackie and Hyde from this episode got rewritten. Here, Eric's situation with Casey and the gym gets a total overhaul, in preparation for what's to come with his teaching career... (the Zen will be back next time, promise.)

FF.Net AO3

***

SHOW TITLE INT. FORMAN BASEMENT – NIGHT A war zone, of sorts. The couch, the chairs, the coffee table, the floor – everything in sight is covered with potato chips, and potato chip bags lie everywhere. KELSO lies on the floor beneath the coffee table while HYDE crouches behind the turned-over lawn chair. Slowly, they stand, with ERIC and FEZ doing the same from behind the couch. HYDE: That was probably our second-best potato chip war ever. RED enters from the stairs. He freezes on the landing when he gets a sight of things. RED: What the hell? KELSO: (sits on couch) We'll clean it up later, dude. RED: I'm not your "dude," and you never clean anything up. KELSO: Well, we mean to, but then we leave, and then we come back, and it's already cleaned up. RED: (to all) You eat my food, you dirty up my house, and every time I go into a bedroom, I have to wonder about finding one of you naked with some poor girl! FEZ: Well, at least you know that if you find me naked in a room, I'm by myself. RED: All right, I want everybody who doesn't live in this house to get out now! KELSO: (stands) You know what? You're a real bummer, man. Come on, Fez. Let's go to our new apartment, where people can do whatever they want, whenever they want. Just like the Bible says - "let my people do whatever they want." He and Fez exit through the basement door. Hyde rights the lawn chair and sits. Eric moves around the couch to stand before Red. RED: And you want to be a teacher. You – Mr. Salty Spud. Yeah, America’s got a bright future ahead of her, now that her fresh young minds are all gonna be learning from Mr. Salty Spud. ERIC: Dad, you’ve wanted me to get a plan together for my future all year. How about a little bit of support now that I have one? RED: How about a little bit of my foot in your ass? How can I believe that you’re any more serious about teaching than all the other crap you’ve tried, when I come down here and find you buried in Lay’s with the foreign kid? ERIC: Well, I am serious. I already talked to UW, they gave me a spot in the teaching college, and I found a way to get myself prepared over the summer. You know, test the waters. Red’s eyes narrow; he’s suspicious. RED: How? ERIC: The high school has that summer sports program for younger kids. I signed up to be an assistant coach. Red regards his son for a minute, then bursts into laughter, which Hyde joins in on. RED: (through laughter) Assistant coach? You? What sport could you possibly help teach? He and Hyde erupt again. ERIC (cont’d): What? No, I – come on, I can do this. I mean, I know the rules. I know how most sports work. HYDE: That’s true. When the wrestling team used to beat him up after gym, he knew exactly what holds they were using. ERIC: Yeah. And, you know, what is teaching if not passing on the wealth of knowledge you have about things you have no ability to do? Red sighs and Hyde snickers.

MAIN CREDITS BUMPER MUSIC NOTE: “Welcome Back” by John Sebastian. INT. SCHOOL GYM – DAY Summertime sports, inexplicably confined inside: the gym floor is cleared, but racks of baseball bats, ball nets, and various items of protective gear line the walls. Kids in Point Place Players T-shirts and shorts shuffle awkwardly around, quietly chatting with one another as they await the commencement of summer training. A man in a green track suit, his back to the camera, stretches in one corner. Eric, also dressed in T-shirt and shorts, enters with DONNA and KITTY. ERIC: All right, first day on the road to teaching. Man, I can’t wait. (nods to kids) I get to take all these little guys and help lead them to their futures. Which, for nine out of ten, will be menial jobs in a crappy Wisconsin town – but when that one left makes it big, I bet you he’ll remember Mr. Forman. DONNA: Okay, I’m proud of you, but you probably shouldn’t call them “little guys.” A few of them are bigger than you. Eric “ahs” and nods. Seeing the man stretching, he takes a step toward him and raises his hand in greeting. ERIC: Hey there, coach. Eric Forman, your new assistant, ready to play. The man turns around, revealing: DONNA: Casey Kelso? Indeed it is. CASEY’S track suit is open, showing off the T-shirt underneath, and a whistle hangs around his neck. He’s also grown a very ‘70s – and very “gym coach” – moustache that doesn’t suit him. CASEY: Hey there, Pinciotti. Wow, look who you got with you - little Foreplay. He ruffles Eric’s hair. ERIC: Yep, that's me. Okay. Okay, okay! (jerks his head back) Okay. CASEY: And Mrs. Forman. God, you get younger every time I see you. KITTY: (swooning) Oh, me too. CASEY: Yeah. (to Donna) Pinciotti, you are looking so good. You know, now I’m trying to figure out why I ever broke up with a blonde. DONNA: I was a redhead then. CASEY: Man, I gotta start paying attention. The thing is, see, I got this tendency to, uh... what's the word? KITTY: Smolder? DONNA: (to Casey) I think the word you're looking for is ditch – bail - run away. CASEY: No, no. Oh, wait, did you say "bail?" KITTY: So, Casey, how did we get so lucky to see you here today – (touches his arm) A little bit sweaty? (laughs) CASEY: Well, um, I'm the coach. ERIC: No way. That's funny. It looks like a normal gym, but apparently, I've stumbled into the mouth of Hell. CASEY: Yeah, see, the regular coach needed someone to fill in, so he called the best quarterback that Point Place High ever had. And I figured, you know, the cheerleaders - they practice in here, so it'd give me a good chance to see what's gonna be on the market in a couple years. ERIC: And I have to be your assistant? CASEY: Looks like it. Speaking of which, we’d better get started. (blows whistle) All right, kids, give me two minutes of laps around the room, go! He blows his whistle again. The kids scramble into their laps. Casey shakes his head as they move. CASEY (cont’d): Hustle, Weaselface! Come on, Fishhead! Hey, Two-Chin, no snacks on your laps! ERIC: Do you just have rude and demeaning nicknames for everyone? CASEY: Yeah. See, I got this thing with the kids where they tell me their names and I don’t remember ‘em. He blows his whistle again, driving the kids to pick up the pace, as Eric shakes his head in disbelief. *** INT. SCHOOL GYM - DAY It’s an interesting regiment that Casey has the kids on: with all the sports equipment available, he has everyone in a line across the gym, throwing balls at one lone kid cowering in the corner. Casey and Eric stand by the door, observing. Eric notes the fear of the victim and the reluctance of the throwers; Casey strokes his moustache, checks his watch, and casually blows the whistle. CASEY: Okay, that’s your time up, Chipmunk. Grab a ball and fall in line. Forehead, you’re next. The next boy in line, a skinny kid in glasses, timidly steps forward as the others gather up the balls. ERIC: (to Casey) You nicknamed that kid “Forehead?” That’s – come on, man. That’s not even good. CASEY: Well, I’d go with “Foreplay” since his name starts with “for,” but you took that one. ERIC: Whatever. What’s the point of this game, anyway? CASEY: It’s Target, Foreplay. You have a target – (points to Forehead) And the point is to hit it. ERIC: Yeah, but why? I mean, a game like this is just mean. Sports should teach kids, you know, strategy and teamwork and how to deal with drunken, angry people who could never do your job telling you how you could be better at it. Come on, Casey, give them something fun to do. Casey looks Eric over, scoffs, and blows his whistle. CASEY: (to the kids) Hold up there, Forehead. Y’all have a new target for Target. ERIC: Wait, new target? What’s... QUICK CUT: New angle. Eric cowers in the corner as balls bombard him from all sides. *** INT. FORMAN KITCHEN - DAY Late afternoon. Kitty and Donna are at the kitchen table, sharing a cup of tea. An exhausted Eric staggers in through the patio door and drops down in the empty seat at the table. KITTY: Hi, honey. How was your first day of school? ERIC: It was awful. Casey's a terrible coach. He’s just bullying those kids. KITTY: Oh, that doesn't sound like my Casey. (beat) I mean, the world's Casey. ERIC: Man, it's like he’s everything guys like me hate about school gym, you know? Nothing’s fun, you don’t learn anything – it’s just some botard with a whistle calling you names, throwing things at you, and walking out halfway through practice so he can check out the cheerleaders. DONNA: Eric, you signed up for this summer sports program to get started as a teacher. You’re the assistant coach. If Casey leaves, you’re in charge. Why don’t you use that time to teach the kids? You know, as long as it isn’t how to throw? ERIC: You know what? You’re right. KITTY: Well, I just can’t believe someone working at the school is taking a peek at those cheerleaders. I have half a mind to put on some lipstick and go have a talk with Casey. She stands, taking her cup with her. Eric and Donna share a look as she crosses to the sink. *** INT. SCHOOL GYM - DAY The next morning. The kids are all there, but Casey is nowhere to be found. Eric enters and looks around. One thing is obvious: no one wants to be there. ERIC: (to himself) You know, if this teaching thing falls through and I end up working in a funeral home, it’ll probably be the same atmosphere. (to the kids) Okay, guys, Coach Kelso’s out... assessing the market, so – looks like I’m in charge. Now, who here’s signed up for soccer? No one raises their hand. ERIC (cont’d): Who here’s signed up for basketball? No one raises their hand. ERIC (cont’d): Who here’s dad signed them up to get them out of the house? Every hand goes up. ERIC (cont’d): Wow. It’s like Bizarro Superman. You know, Superman’s dad sent him to a planet with a yellow sun to give him superpowers, and ours send us to the Institute of Things We Can’t Do. That gets a nervous chuckle out of the kids. Eric smiles and rolls with it. ERIC (cont’d): Okay, let’s forget about the ball sports for a minute. Um... oh! Has anyone here seen Star Wars? The kids all gasp. One of them, FOREHEAD, puts his hand up. FOREHEAD: You’ve seen Star Wars? ERIC: (laughing) Oh, kid – I think we’re all in for a much better day today. He takes a fold-up lightsaber from his pocket, extends the blade, and strikes a few poses. The kids, wide-eyed, take it all in. FADE TO BLACK COMMERCIAL BUMPER INT. SCHOOL GYM - DAY Shortly after the previous scene. A complete turn-around in atmosphere: the kids, wearing baseball catcher’s masks for protection, are all enthusiastically practicing lightsaber combat with whiffle bats. Eric paces behind the attacking line, his lightsaber held over his shoulder. ERIC: Yes – very good, little ones. Remember – (doing Obi-Wan) “A Jedi can feel the Force flowing through him.” He chuckles and continues down the line. He pauses at one pair, where the defender keeps missing his parries. ERIC (cont’d): Hey, Westley? Watch the shoulders, not the blade. You’ll see the strike coming. (to another pair) Fisher, try mixing up your attacks, buddy. Don’t go for the head every time. He makes it to the end of the line, where “Forehead” is aggressively attacking his partner. ERIC (cont’d): Whoa, Forrest, ease up. You’re not fighting Darth Vader here. You’re practicing with Biggs. “BIGGS” pushes his mask up. BIGGS: Coach Forman, can that be my new nickname? I hate the one Coach Kelso gave me. ERIC: What was it? BIGGS: Butthead. ERIC: Wow, he is really slipping with those. He indicates for “Biggs” to flip his mask back down and resume practice. *** INT. SCHOOL GYM - DAY Lightsabers have been set aside for now. The kids now have mats strapped to their backs – some green, some yellow. They run around the room, the greens throwing whiffle balls at the yellow mats and vice versa. A small number of kids without mats stand against the far wall. Eric watches from near the door. FISHER, a yellow mat, takes a hit. Eric blows his whistle. ERIC: That’s your last hit, Fisher. Your screens are down. Fisher shrugs off his mat. FORREST: Defensive formation! Forrest and two other yellow mats surround Fisher, protecting him from more whiffle balls. The other yellow mats form a line in front of them and start returning fire on the green mats. Donna enters. She comes up to Eric and nudges his shoulder. DONNA: What’s going on? ERIC: Oh, hey! Check it out. I’ve got the kids in teams – the Federation and the Klingon fleet. For each “ship” that survives, the winning team gets bonus points, so they have to work together to save as many ships as possible. A kid on the green team who’s lost his mat takes a whiffle ball to the arm. Eric blows his whistle. ERIC (cont’d): That’s one more down for the Klingons! Evacuate, Chip! CHIP shuffles off to join the others at the far wall. DONNA: Wow, Eric. You’ve really reached these kids. I’m so proud of you. A little embarrassed, but mostly proud. She and Eric smile at each other and hold hands. Casey enters, unnoticed by anyone. He takes a long look at the scene before him, then slaps Eric on the shoulder. CASEY: What’s all this? ERIC: I’ll tell you what this is – He points out to the game, where another green sheds his mat. ERIC (cont’d): That’s screens down for another Klingon. The Federation’s comin’ back! The yellow mats all cheer, even as the game continues. At least, it does until a scowling Casey gives a loud blow of his whistle. CASEY: Okay, kids, hustle up. (they do so) Coach Foreplay thinks you all should learn something from this, so here’s a free lesson: what you’re doing here’s a great way to earn yourself an ass whooping. Like you all did now. So ditch those mats and get yourselves ready for Target. The kids all groan. Eric, mouth agape, looks from them to Casey, and moves between them. ERIC: What? No! Come on, man. Look – none of these kids want to be here for sports, and it’s not like you were teaching them any. They all have to be here. Can’t we let them – you know, have fun? Hang out? Work on getting along and cooperating? And getting called on by their actual names? I mean – is it that hard to remember Chip? He points to Chip. ERIC (cont’d): Look – you obviously don’t wanna take time out from scouting future ex-girlfriends, and we’ve got a good game going here. Why don’t you just let us play? CASEY: (looks Donna over) Well, I’m not so sure I need to be down by the cheerleaders anymore. But, uh, how about you take that nerd gibber down to summer debate prep and let somebody whip these kids into more shape than you’ve got, okay, Foreplay? ERIC: (beat) No, okay. You want us to play Target? He grabs a dodge ball from one of the bags against the wall. ERIC (cont’d): Oh, we’ll play Target. CASEY: You’re gonna try and hit me with that? ERIC: Not me – her. He hands the ball to Donna, who drives it right into Casey’s gut. He clutches it as he bends over. Eric sweeps his arm toward the kids, “join in.” They all shed their mats, grab some balls, and lob them Casey’s way. FADE TO BLACK CREDITS INT. SCHOOL GYM – DAY The end of practice. Eric, Donna, and the kids gather up all the balls scattered over the gym. As the kids fetch the balls, Donna and Eric feed them into a net. Donna bends over as she puts a ball in, and Eric looks over her and notices his students looking her way. ERIC: (whispers) Hey, Donna, I think my kids are checking you out. Donna glances over her shoulder. DONNA: (to Eric) No. (beat) You think? She stands, turns, and strikes a pose. DONNA (cont’d): Hi, boys. The kids, caught out, hastily resume gathering balls as Eric chuckles. END.

#z's fics #that 70s show #zenmasters #jackie x hyde #zen3to5+#fan fiction #fan script

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edorazzi · 5 years

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Well, here we are again! Twitter said yes to a review post for a Miraculous magazine that suddenly showed up in my local area. ‘Tis the season after all, and by that I mean someone bought it for me as a joke birthday gift and I was way too happy about that.

I’ve done previous reviews of the Miraculous Christmas calendar, Easter egg set, superhero fashion dolls and action figures, so let’s dive into the unknown world of merchandising yet again!

(As always, if you enjoy my posts, please consider checking out my Twitter page or supporting me on Patreon for lots of bonus content!)

4 FREE GIFTS! PACKED WITH ACTIVITIES! MEET THE KWAMIS! PRANKS & LOLS! CUT-OUT MEMES! FANGIRL ALERT! NAIL ART! 100% OFFICIAL! I’m overwhelmed! It feels like I’m having a seizure just from the packaging!!!

I should preface this by saying I haven’t bought a magazine like this in years. Possibly ever. I read things like the Beano, Animals & You and the odd Disney Princess zine when I was a kid but I have no idea what to expect from a free-gift-packed kiddie magazine in 2019. If the outside is anything to go by we’re in for a wild ride.

I’m noticing that it says “Miraculous #20″ on the back. Does this mean I’ve missed 19 previous issues? I’m genuinely a little upset by that. My local area is a complete dry zone for Miraculous so I haven’t had the chance to pick these up.

First step: let’s separate everything out and get a look at these freeeee giftssss. Except they aren’t free, because this magazine was like £3.99. This does seem to be the current trend - it’s kinda rare to see any kids’ zines without the excess packaging crammed with ‘free’ stuff. Is it really too expensive to just produce the magazine? Probably, in this economy.

Chat Noir is revealed on the cover! He was on the back of the plastic jacket, but it’s still nice to see the kids as a front-cover duo. Apparently we’re going to learn to draw Pollen, too, which sounds fun. I’m actually liking the look of the gifts as well, but we’ll get into those in a minute.

This hairbrush............. is adorable. Oh my god. It’s pretty cheap and flimsy but it functions the way it’s supposed to, and the Ladybug design has been taken into account in a better way than “it’s red/black, that counts” (lest we forget the UTTER BULLSHIT of the Christmas calendar, and YES I’m still mad about that). I don’t know how well I expect the outer sticker to last, but if it can take a bit of wear and tear this would be an adorable little travel brush. Nicely done, lads!

These nail stickers? Also adorable. They remind me of the kiddie makeup sets I had when I was little, back in the early 00s when plastic stick-on nails and decals were all the rage. Are they still a thing? That’s nice to know.

There are 13 designs (that I can count) - a Queen Bee mask, Chat Noir pawprint cake, macaron, cupcake, heart-print cookie, Ladybug stud, flower, lightning bolt, love heart, Marinette heart, bee, fox tail and star. The majority are directly related to the show and that makes them feel special. No Carapace though? :(

I’ve put a little Marinette heart on my furthest finger. At the time of typing this up (about a day later) it’s still firmly in place. I haven’t really knocked it around, granted, but it’s not flimsy enough to fall off after five minutes either. It’s also really cute to look at. Guess I’m still a decal-loving 2004 girl at heart......

These stickers though!!! Wow! They’re those holographic and slightly-puffy kind and they feel like pretty good quality, and the designs are so cute! I can’t fault these, they’re absolutely adorable. I immediately want to stick them everywhere.

So I’ve stuck them everywhere. I’m especially proud of the light switch pun. My room looks GREAT.

I saved these “mystery stickers” for last because I’m weak for the thrill of mystery bags, and there wasn’t anything on the packaging to indicate what kind of designs to expect. And OH!!!! OH, IT’S MY BOY!!!! Look at him!!!!

I made jokes with the Christmas calendar about all the Chat Noir items being stolen ahead of time, but that’s definitely NOT the case with this magazine. I have been SPOILED with the presence of my cat son.

These stickers are similar to the sticker sheet (and the Chillin’ Out design is reprinted), but they’re puffier and non-holographic. I’m deeply allured by the “decorate your phone or tablet” suggestion on the packet, but I’m going to see how the previous stickers withstand the wear-and-tear of my laptop lid before adding any more. If I damage these beautiful Adrien stickers I’ll be devastated.

Those are our free gifts! They’re actually very fun and cute, I’m really happy with them! I guess now it’s time to get into the magazine itself...........

I genuinely almost forgot the magazine was the main part of this package. I figured I was done, but we’ve barely even started! Here’s a splash page of the kwami. Kwami with a capital K? Kwamis? I still feel like it should be singular-lower-case-k-kwami. I’ve never been happy about this “miraculouses” business either.

But is that--

It IS!!!! It’s Nino!!!

I guess this is the new flavour of Miraculous tie-ins. Now they’ve broadened out to a full team we’re seeing a lot more of Adrien alongside the girls, and Nino is the elusive hero who shows up once in a blue moon. At least this time his name isn’t in the title of the gotdam show.......

Anyway, I can see I’m supposed to draw my “fave Kwami”. Better get to it.

Felix just wants a break. Just one break. But not in this magazine.

Speaking of seeing more of Adrien (and, tragically, less of Nino), this is the kind of splash page I want to see! Both kids are here! The banner themed with Marinette’s signature flowers is a nice touch too; that’s associated with her arts ‘n’ crafts in the show already and it makes sense to apply it to the creative portion of this magazine too.

I LOVE the promotion of Chat Noir nails as something the little girls buying this magazine will definitely want to try. I’d expect them to do Marinette vs Ladybug nails, but instead we get a boyish option! Hell yeah!

I’m a little confused by the Queen Bee masks apparently going on the Chat Noir nails though. I guess they’re friends? Is this secret AdriChlo confirmation? Watch out, Marinette, Kagami’s not the one to be worried about.

SURE WOULD BE NICE TO HAVE SOME TURTLE STICKERS FOR AN ALL-BOYS THEME BUT I GUESS NOT HUH

Next up is a short merch catalogue (why would you put the big bold arrow pointing right to the underoos.....). Would those Chat Noir socks come in my size? Asking for me.

Then there’s......... this page. FANGIRL ALERT. God. It’s like the Ladyblog, if only the Ladyblog ever gave a heck about reporting what Chat Noir’s up to.

THE SPELL WAS BROKEN AND THE FANDOM IMPLODED WITH JOY.

I really have to wonder what age range this is meant for. Do kids know what a “fandom” is? Do little girls consider themselves “fangirls”? I guess most kids have enough internet access to figure it out these days (all the hashtags and LOLs and memes speak volumes), but I can’t imagine being young enough to fit the target range of this magazine while also knowing these terms. I dunno.

(Also, the definition of ‘implosion’ is ‘an instance of something collapsing violently inwards’, so I’m not sure that’s the word they’re looking for. Unless the return to the status quo in Dark Cupid and the continuing stagnation of the love square was enough to make people quit in frustration? Probably.)

I’m filling it in, of course. Because I must.

I gave up on the pre-approved ratings system pretty much right away, but I think this is an accurate rating of my LadyNoir opinions.

I might be kinda cynical about it here, but I am actually pretty fond of how this magazine sells Ladybug and Chat Noir as a couple. The show’s portraying it as very onesided lately, with Chat pining over Ladybug who has absolutely no interest in him (Glaciator was a TERRIBLE episode and I’m still hurting from it), but reading this zine I’d guess they were already dating. It’s cheesy, but in a nice way.

I have to laugh at “the most amazing thing about this super duo is that they always look out for and protect each other” though. Chat’s usually pretty focused on LB, sure, but there are endless instances of LB using Chat as cannon fodder and just generally abandoning him to get mauled by akuma while she carries out her personal private plan to save the day. Maybe we’re just focusing on the better-written episodes, huh?

Moving ahead. I’ve been dreading this page since reading “Plaggs Pranks & LOLs” on the back of the packaging. I feel hatred in my very bones just looking at it.

I like that there’s ONE instance of the term “ladybird” in the joke column. This is a UK-based magazine and that IS the word we tend to use over here - “ladybug” is an Americanism - but it’s like they’re worried kids could have got to the middle of this magazine about a superhero named Ladybug and then not understand the bug jokes. Maybe whoever was writing this page slipped up?

OH NOOOOO. MARINETTE, NOOOOOOOOOO.

THIS IS WHY FELIX GOT RID OF YOU, PLAGG. THESE ARE ADRIEN’S PROBLEMS NOW.

(mmm whatcha saaaaay)

I mean........... YEAH, I guess, but we absolutely did see Plagg destroy Felix with an entire shelf of heavy books. I guess he’s nicer with Adrien. It’s all fun and games until someone has a nervous breakdown in the library.

I do love the concept of Tikki getting glitter-bombed by Plagg through the mail. She just curiously opens up the little letter which got slipped into Marinette’s purse, and-- WOOSH. One entire wall of Mari’s room is glittery except for a little Tikki-shaped silhouette.

Next up is a two-page comic which is absolutely adorable! Look at those little chibis! The warm and soft colour palette! This is nicer than most of the official Miraculous comic book art I’ve seen, I hope they keep giving this artist work.

Nino’s here too (and he looks great!), and I like the touch of Marinette and Adrien playing as each other’s superhero characters. Adrien even wins the match, though I guess there’s something to be said about Ladybug beating Chat Noir (again)......

It does raise the question yet again of where this tie-in merchandise is coming from! They’ve had action figures, a movie, music video features, now an arcade game... Who’s getting the royalties here? Who’s profiting? Is this how Fu can afford to buy all those rare ingredients for the magic potions?

Over the page we have an activity to Design your Secret Lair! Right away I love the Marinette theme of the page, the soft pink and flowers, and the drawing space looking like a page in a binder with marker tabs and everything.

I have to design my secret lair, of course:

What do you think? I’m very creative. I’ll need an adult to send in the drawing of my hideout but I think I’ve really got a shot at those unicorn headphones.

Now we’re on to puzzles and character pages. I don’t know what ol’ Gabe is doing trying to meet a 13 year old girl in the dead of night without telling anyone, you’d think if he’s got that much free time on his hands he could be spending it with his son.

I don’t know how those points in Ladybug’s power profile are awarded or what they mean, but you can tell this is a fan magazine. Official sources would have put her at a 10.

Standard House of Villains page! Most of these were good episodes but I’m deeply offended Riposte isn’t on here. Maybe her motives weren’t dramatic and cartoonish enough to be up in the ranks with Glaciator and Gorizilla?

“Cat Noir’s dad is also the evil Hawk Moth”, huh? I mean that’s not WRONG, but is it really something to put in his power profile when Adrien doesn’t even know yet??? Feels like we’re kinda jumping the gun on the poor boy. What if he picks up this magazine?

Apparently he’s one point weaker than Ladybug (seriously???), two points faster, equally as agile, one point less skilled and two points less cool. Despite all those lesses he still comes out at an equal 9, which is a relief! These kids are a team, putting either of them below the other would have been a big no.

I did the colouring page too, naturally. Je suis un artiste.

Now we’ve got a page fresh from the Ladyblog, a Miraculous quiz! Not a lot of excitement, but it’s nice to see Alya getting her own section.

I like that the qualifications of “you could be Ladybug herself!” are knowing what city Marinette lives in and what school she goes to. Well done, Mari! You’re doing your best!!!

TEACHER I AM SO HUNGRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

I gotta say, I’m not so sure about decorating donuts with fondant. I’ve never tried it so I could be wrong, but it feels like rolled icing instead of frosting(?) would be too heavy for an entire donut. The texture is totally different.

I mean I guess if you’re going to load your kids up on sugar you might as well go all the way. They’re going to look like they’ve eaten something horrible with all that black fondant, but they’ll have fun. Adrien would love these.

WHERE’S NINO. THIS IS JUST UNFAIR. You’ll have four out of five heroes, then a double of Marinette and Tikki? Maybe this just goes to show how little memorable dialogue Carapace has.

Though if “Spots On!” is Marinette’s dialogue and not Ladybug’s, why are the other transformation phrases attributed to Rena Rouge and Queen Bee instead of Alya and Chloé? Surely they could have picked something better for Marinette to justify having her on this list twice instead of Nino.

The next page brings us one of those flowchart quizzes! And ouch, yet again the absence of the other heroes is obvious. I can understand not including Chloé here since she’s technically not a “friendly” character yet, but no Nino? Alya and Marinette are close friends, but Adrien doesn’t really hang out with them without Nino around. Having the three of them together just seems strange.

I do like the little fashion page! They’re all cute and affordable and easy to find on the high street here. I’d love to see how other issues of this magazine are structured; is there a different fashion spot every time? Styles to channel each individual hero would be adorable.

Moving on to a tutorial for a Ladybug notebook! I would have made this, but I didn’t have the time nor a notebook to stick it to.

Between this and the donuts, it seems weird that these designs are based on, like... an actual beetle, eyes and antennae and all. Shouldn’t it be Ladybug’s symbol? These come across more like “fun animals” arts ‘n’ crafts instead of themed after Miraculous specifically. I think if I made this (or decorated the donuts) I’d miss out the head and match the spot pattern to Ladybug’s symbol.

The hidden message design is adorable though. I can see this being a craft kids are super proud of.

Another activity page! I didn’t have a go at these but they’re pretty standard. It’s cute that the coded message designs are the same as the stickers and nail decals!

Also, apparently Ladybug’s ‘secret’ is “LB mask + heart + CN mask”, which was (somehow) stolen by Volpina. Is that the secret Hawk Moth was talking about earlier in the magazine? Is he blackmailing Ladybug with revealing she has a crush on Chat Noir? How did Volpina ‘steal’ this secret? Is LadyNoir finally reciprocated???? THIS IS A WHOLE EPISODE IN ITSELF, I NEED ANSWERS--

Next page we have an ad for another girly magazine (Quizzes! LOLs! Celebs! Cringes! Puzzles!). I think I’ll pass, no matter how appealing that giant microphone pen is.

And a “Miraculous Identity” quiz! Tikki’s apparently super fickle with her wielders, three seasons of relentlessly praising Marinette and now she’s telling us we’re the Chosen Ones. You can’t fool me with those big ol’ eyes.

My inner superhero is Marvellous Fox, by the way. Though yet again I’m noticing we don’t have turtle options...................

And on the back cover... the memes. Oh, sweet lord, the memes. They’re hashtag-SoRelatable! And I can cut them out to keep! Oh boy!!!

Is this what kids do when they have limited internet access? Cut fresh memes out of magazines and carry them around? I need to know.

That’s a very sinister Ladybug at the bottom of the page though. What’s-- What’s she going to do to me if I don’t cut out and keep these memes. Ladybug what are you going to do if I d--

Well that brings us to the end of the magazine! And yet again I’m surprised by how much time it takes to just put a bunch of photos together and write about them.

This is a neat little magazine all in all! The ‘free gifts’ are pretty nice, there’s a fair amount of content and the whole thing is pretty cute for young fans of the show. I could see myself buying this again - if it ever shows up on shelves, Miraculous is so scarce around here that I fully expect it to disappear again after this one issue - just for the free junk, but it would be interesting to see how they’d structure different issues too!

I notice we never did get that promised tutorial on how to draw Pollen; the one advertised on the cover. Was the “draw your favourite Kwami” activity supposed to cover that? I’m not sure that really counts.

If you got this far, thanks for joining me on this Miraculous journey! We’ll meet again whenever I get another piece of weird ML merch to cover. Bien joué!

#miraculous ladybug #josie talks about things #josie's art #i really should get a review tag #ANYWAY there's a bit more art in this which isn't just the header image so give it a look!#and felix features a couple of times because WHY would he not on edorazzi dot com

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myriadimagines · 5 years

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Common Face (pt. II)

Game of Thrones One Shot

Pairing: Reader x Margaery Tyrell

Other Characters: Cersei Lannister, Tommen Baratheon, Olenna Tyrell

Warnings: imprisonment, swearing, death (hhdfngjdf)

Requester: anonymous

Request: “i wanted to request a part 2 for 'common face' (margaery x reader). while the reader tries to keep a low profile, margaery is imprisoned (just like in the series) & the reader visits her in secret a couple of times. cersei still suspecting and maybe almost being caught to tommen? If you can, could you extend it to the Great Sept of Baelor episode? During Margaery's imprisonment the reader eavesdrops on Cersei's plans and tries to stop the wildfire, but is prevented by soldiers. Ending with the reader leaving for Mereen, to join Daenerys, knowing that he might get to see Olenna and talk things through.”

Word Count: 1,964

A/N: I hope you like it! Sorry I kinda jumped over certain parts mainly because I’m a lazy fuck but anyway, for anyone who hasn’t read it, here is Part I!!

please reblog/leave comments, they’re very much appreciated!

You don’t care about Olenna’s multiple warnings, don’t care about the dangers of being caught, don’t care much about anything ever since Margaery’s imprisonment. Your brain feels frazzled, disconnected from your body as you find yourself unable to think straight about anything. Your body moves on instinct and impulse alone, any shred of logic thrown out of the window, simply driven by the sole fact that you love Margaery and can’t let anything happen to her.

Or let anything else happen to her, anyway.

The Septas glance at you suspiciously as you weave in between them, keeping your head low as you follow behind the Faith Militant who leads you to Margaery’s cell. You would be suspicious too, if you were them, as the seemingly lowly servant you’ve disguised yourself as has no reason to visit the former Queen as often as you do.

You can only hope the High Sparrow and his followers still see you as a servant, and aren’t aware of your true identity and allegiance to the Tyrells. They have eyes and ears everywhere, after all, making it all the more crucial for you to keep a low profile as to not unveil anything. You tread lightly, walking through life as if you’re being constantly watched. As a spy, being suspicious of everything and everyone isn’t new to you, yet you feel as if everything has been shifted into overdrive.

But as a Septa steps forward to unlock Margaery’s cell, you almost abandon everything to rush forward and hold her in your arms.

You remain frozen in place as Margaery looks up, cowering in a dark corner of the dismal cell. You’ve already visited Margaery as many times as can without raising suspicion, but it doesn’t make it easier to see the woman you love suffering in such horrible conditions. The only source of light is the diluted sunshine through the barred window, casting blotchy patches of light onto the opposite wall. The stench is overpowering, the air thick and heavy, and every inch of the floors and walls are covered in a layer of dirt and grime. Margaery herself doesn’t look much better, donned in drab robes that almost camouflage her into the walls, her once styled hair now hanging in limp, greasy strands obscuring her exhausted face.

Her eyes initially narrow, before you step into the dim light, and her eyes widen with recognition. Her mouth opens, but you shoot her a look, warning her not to react before you hold out the small tray of food in your hands, “The Queen sent me. Wanted to make sure you had enough to eat.”

The door closes behind you as Margaery’s eyes narrow at the food, and both of you immediately relax as you rush up to her. You place the tray at her side, reaching up to hold her face in your hands, and she closes her eyes as she places her hands over yours, whispering, “You’re the only thing keeping me from going insane.”

“I wish I could kill everyone here to free you, my love,” you sigh heavily, your thumb brushing against her cheek. Her eyelids flutter open as you tuck her hair behind her ears, leaning forward to press a kiss to your cheek. “I’m sorry I didn’t visit yesterday when I told you I would. Cersei caught me heading to the Sept, and I didn’t want to risk being followed.”

The mention of Cersei’s name again makes Margaery coil away slightly in disgust. “That devious bitch.”

“Lady Olenna and I are doing everything we can to fix this, but…” you suck in a sharp breath, almost feeling physical pain as you continue to finish your sentence. “Cersei is a step ahead of us.”

You can see Margaery’s jaw tighten, anger flashing through her eyes. Bitterly, she spits, “Of course she is.”

“Margaery,” you tilt her chin to face you, softly smiling at her as she can’t help but return the smile. “I will save you.”

The both of you suddenly stiffen upon hearing voices outside. You and Margaery share an alarmed glances, and you jump back just in time as the heavy door suddenly swings open, revealing Tommen in the doorway. You can see the surprise in Tommen’s face as he looks at you, before glancing down at Margaery. Quickly jumping to salvage the situation, you pipe up, “Queen Cersei sent me to bring food for Margaery.”

Margaery lets out a low scoff upon hearing Cersei’s new title, and you struggle to keep a straight face as Tommen slowly nods. The boy is too naive for his own good, you think, as he simply accepts your flimsy explanation for your presence. Bowing your head, you cast one more secret glance at Margaery before you leave, leaving Tommen and Margaery alone, where Margaery will no doubt begin to work at him to get him to free her.

And you have work to do, too. You need to figure out Cersei’s plans.

—

Your heart hammers so loudly in your chest it threatens to explode right out of your body. You hastily shove everyone out of your way, ignoring the irritated yelling and curses thrown your way as you continue to sprint down the streets, towards the Sept of Baelor.

A young man in front of you pulls his horse to a stop, dismounting as he greets his friend. You push him aside, snatching the reins into your hand as dig your foot into the stirrup, hoisting yourself onto his horse as he attempts to jump in front of you, blocking you. The man quickly leaps to the side as you kick the horse into a gallop, tearing down the streets as you can see the towering building of the Great Sept draws nearer and nearer.

“Move!” you yell, your voice booming through the streets with the loud clatter of hooves, and the commoners around you quickly scatter away from the path. Your mind is racing, a million thoughts spinning rapidly through your head, but one thing is clear, the one thing that is often the only thing clear for you — Margaery is your priority.

You had been tailing Cersei for days following her walk of atonement, listening in on her conversations when you could in order to find any information you could use.

However, when all was revealed, it was more monstrous than you ever could’ve imagined.

Tears were prickling your eyes now, the world around you becoming a muted blur as you urge your horse on faster. Cersei has the building orchestrated to explode using the wildfire under the Sept, killing everyone who stands in her way, Margaery included. You know Loras is also in the Sept, and you need to do everything you can to save Olenna’s grandchildren.

Your horse wrestles against you as you suddenly yank your reins, narrowly pulling to a stop in front of the perimeter of guards that line the road to the Sept. Panic claws at your throat, and you struggle to breath as you demand, “Let me through.”

The guards don’t respond, instead gripping their shields and weapons tighter as the band together, relentless. You urge your horse forwards, but it tosses its head, especially as the guards slam their shields down, forming a wall that spooks your horse. Dismounting, you use all your strength to slam your body against theirs, and you can feel yourself losing your authority and control as you plead, “Please, let me through, you don’t understand, the Sept is-”

Everyone suddenly freezes as you hear low rumbling, rubble on the street beginning to tremble as everyone around you looks at each other in confusion. Your heart plummets to the floor seconds before you do, and you collapse against the guards as you realize what’s to come.

You’re too late.

“Margaery!” her name rips through your throat, an excruciating sound of heartbreak and grief just as screams fill your ears, the commoners running away from the Sept as you watch it being rapidly swallowed by vibrant green flames. You lunge forward, though you’re held back by the guards who begin ordering everyone to evacuate, but you can’t hear them as you let out another scream. “Margaery, no!”

Sobs overcome your body, which begins to weakly tremble as you sink to your knees. You let out an anguished cry so loud you’re not even sure a human body can handle it, can handle the immense pain and agony that courses through you. Everything in your body feels like it’s collapsing — you struggle to breathe through your heaving lungs, your heart feels as if it’s cracking with each pump. Your limbs feel numb, your entire body succumbed to the grief and heartbreak, and you don’t have the energy to fight.

Her name is still on your lips, still filling your mouth and suffocating you as you manage to tilt your head up to see the Sept burning to ashes. The green flames dance maniacally against the sky, taunting you, forcing you to think about the lives it had just taken. Tears stream faster down your face now, soaking your cheeks and blurring everything around you. Bodies push past you, trampling around you as everyone attempts to flee, but you remain on the cobbled streets, sobbing so hard you surely don’t have any tears left.

But no matter how hard you cry, the sadness doesn’t leave. It sits on your chest, weighing down on you, crushing against your ribcage. And no matter how many times you scream her name, no matter how much you plead to the cruel Gods that took her away from you, you know that nothing will bring Margaery back.

—

The sailor tips the small sack of coins you wordlessly hold out to him into his hand, eyes widening upon seeing the gold that spills out into his palm. Looking over his shoulder, he quickly drops them back into the bag, slipping it into his tattered jacket pocket as he repeats, “Mereen, you said?”

You nod in response, throat still too raw from endless nights of crying to speak. The sailor beckons for you to step onto his small boat, and you nod gratefully at him, pulling your hood further over your face as you check, one last time, to make sure you’re not being followed.

As the boat pulls away from the docks, you bitterly watch King’s Landing grow smaller and smaller the further you sail away. It has been a week since Margaery’s death, and your grief and melancholy is now mixed with fury, and a strong need for revenge. Despite wanting to slit Cersei’s throat yourself, you decide revenge which will come in the form of Daenerys Targaryen, whom Olenna had talked about the last time you saw her, and whom she will no doubt be with after she receives the tragic news about her grandchildren.

Your hands grip the edge of the boat, tears threatening to fall again as you force yourself to look away, leaving King’s Landing behind you. You need a clear head, you try and tell yourself, need to forget about the city that has now become a giant graveyard for you, a tombstone for the woman you love.

I will save you.

As you head into the ship’s chambers, your last words to Margaery echo in your ears. You suck in a sharp breath, sitting on the edge of the worn-down mattress as you bury your face in your hands

I will save you.

“I’m so sorry.” you choke out in a whisper, hoping she can hear you, wherever she may be. You might not have been able to save her, you furiously think, but you’re going to save the Seven Kingdoms from Cersei Lannister, if it’s the last thing you do.

tag list: @chinike / @gofandomsandotherstuff / @emmacata / @pascalisthepunkest / @musicallisto

#got imagine #margaery tyrell imagine #reader x margaery tyrell #margaery tyrell x reader #got #got one shot #margaery tyrell #margaery tyrell one shot #imagine #imagines #reader insert #oneshot #one shot #god i had to rewatch a bunch of clips to write this including the explosion scene and i am so PISSED #also im rewatching b99 and im on 'show me going' and this ep always makes me cry so hard #that and when holt talks to rosa when the squad goes to her place for game night after she comes out

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jackredfieldwasmyjacob · 5 years

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SKAM ESPAÑA SONGS GAME

So, since I was little I’ve always played this game in long car rides, in which I have a list of characters and I associate them with a random song playing on the radio. Then, I imagine a scene in which they could be singing it, like it was a musical. So, today I don’t have the energy to do anything for the uni so instead I’m gonna do the game with Skam España characters and my Spotify playlist.

Note that there are not all characters here, that’s because some of the songs didn’t fit that well. But most of them did!

So, let’s start:

-Cris: “Tu mirada me hace grande” (Maldita Nerea)

Ok this one really fits. It translates to “Your gaze makes me big” and it could be either sung by Cris or a duet with Joana (a la Mitchie and Shane in “Wouldn’t Change a Thing”) during last week or even this couple of days, it doesn’t matter. Cris is just confused and sad about what’s happening, but wants to see Joana (and viceversa), and she’s just walking in the streets, looking miserable. I’m gonna translate some of the lyrics just so you can see how well this fits:

“Like a leap into the void / of someone who doesn’t fear death. / Another night in the weariness / of not being able to understand you” (these are the opening lyrics btw)

“If you wanted to trust me / it’s never late, late, late / I need to see you here / You’re gaze makes me big / And may the two of us be alone / tumbling in Madrid” (this is part of the chorus, it even says Madrid)

“Really undeserved / a silence like this one” (like come on)

-Eva: “It’s so easy” (The Crickets)

This one is a bit harder to fit, but I didn’t want her to be the only in the girl squad to not have a song. I imagine she’s finally fallen for Cristian, and maybe while singing this song she’s getting ready for a date with him, dancing and just being joyful all along. Some lyrics for reference:

“It’s so easy to fall in love / It’s so easy to fall in love”

“Look into your heart and see / What your love book has set apart for me”

-Viri: “La danza del fuego” (Mägo de Oz)

The title translates to “The Fire Dance” and I find it perfect for Viri because of the sound, really celtic and medieval, characteristic of the band, and the song talks about a Navarre traditional legend, so she could be in a fantasy setting with a large pink dress in her fashion, singing it all happy and poppy. But the lyrics are quite something, and I think they also fit into her story and how she is, because I’m sure her life is not as she pretends it to be. Here are some translated lyrics.

“I’ve lived in solitude / amongst a crowd, / I’ve never been able to love / as I don’t even love myself”.

“When you hear a little boy asking / why the sun comes and goes. / Tell him: “because in life there’s not / light without darkness”.

“Surround yourself with good people / and you’ll look like one” (THIS LYRIC OMG)

-Nora: “Don’t Stop the Music” (Alfred García) [I know it’s from Rihanna, but I prefer his version and also I think it’s more fitting for her]

The setting would be really similar to Cris’ party and the karaoke, when she’s singing and there’s Alejandro looking at her with heart eyes. She notices him, and her heart starts racing, but she’s conflicted inside because of what he did to Viri and his reputation as a fuckboy. She ends the song with tears in her eyes, and jolts off the karaoke or wherever she is, crying her heart out.

We all know the lyrics, there are no need for them.

-Amira: “The Middle” (Jimmy Eat World)

So, this song would take place in an au (or a couple of episodes ahead, we just don’t know) when the bullying against Cris with the “lesbian” messages and stuff has become so bad that Cris is thinking of ending herself, she’s really low. And here comes Amira, the bestest friend to ever exist, to cheer her up and make her enjoy herself, dancing with her and mocking herself to make Cris laugh. Here are some of the lyrics, while you imagine how wholesome would that scene be:

“It just takes some time. / Little girl, you’re in the middle of the ride / Everything, everything will be alright / Everything, everything will be alright, alright”

“Live right now / Yeah just be yourself”

-Joana: “The Reason” (Hoobastank)

Like isn’t it this one of the most intense love songs ever or not???? I can totally imagine this being the climatic getting back together of Cris and Joana, in which Joana secretly organizes a concert (in San Isidro!!!) where Cris is mysteriously invited to, and Joana appears and starts singing this to her. They both burst up in tears and end up crying. And it’s the cutest thing ever. Like here are some of the lyrics, tell me this song wasn’t written for this scene:

“I’m not a perfect person / There’s many things I wish I didn’t do” (these are the. opening. lyrics!!!)

“I’ve found a reason for me / to change who I used to be / A reason to start over new / And the reason is you” (the chorus)

“And all the pain I put you through / I wish that I could take it all away” (!!!!!)

-Alejandro: “Piece of your heart” (Mayday Parade)

I see this song as a sequel to Nora. Maybe after she bursts off crying, she comes back to the karaoke, more calmed, and then Alejandro decides to use this song to declare his love for her. He probably declares before singing it that the song goes for Nora, and throughout the song they are looking each other with heart eyes. In the end, they kiss and everybody just goes nuts.

Here are some lyrics, because I think they really fit Alejandro too:

“I’ll take whatever comes with it as long as it’s yours”

“You are the brightest I’ve seen, you are the best side of me / And just for when we’re apart I’ve got a piece of your heart / But I want the whole damn thing”

“And I don’t know, I just can feel it in the atmosphere / If I’m wandering, I’ve wandered into just the right spot”

“If I could go back / I would do it all over with you again”

-Jorge: “Dearly Departed” (Marianas Trench)

This song is actually really sad because it was written after the singer broke up with the love of his life. So, of course, Jorge would play this song just after the breakup scene in the Basketball court. I imagine him with the Ukelele, and Eva by his side, with her head on his shoulder, both of them brokenhearted but knowing that it had to happen. Here are some of the lyrics:

“It’s the third of October / you should come over” (this is how the song starts btw)

“One final shoulder / here before we’re none / And then there were none”

“We’ll toast what could have been / My dearly departed / To my dearly departed”

“I don’t know how to mend it / when this chapter ended / when all of my plans have depended on you”

-Dylan: “Soldadito Marinero” (Fito y los Fitipaldis)

This is kinda a bonus one, it translates to “Little Sailor Soldier” (it sounds really weird in English wow) and it’s one of the most loved songs in Spain from one of the most loved artist. It tells the story of a little sailor soldier that made really poor choices in love, and everyone knows it. So, as Dylan is also someone that I think everybody likes, I figure he would be the one to sing this song in the karaoke (the one from Nora and Alejandro’s story). The two of them are finally together, everybody is happy, and this song serves as the final song of the night. In the end everybody is singing the chorus and with their hands up. Here are some of the lyrics for reference:

“He is walking slowly because haste is not good / On his arm, folded with care the jacket / he passes through the street where the young ones play. / He also wanted to be a kid, but he got caught in the war” (these are the opening lyrics)

“Little sailor soldier you met a mermaid / one of those who say I love you if they see the wallet full” (part of the legendary chorus)

“After a bad winter, a bad spring / tell me why you’re still searching for a tear in the sand” (this is the outro, how the song ends and what probably everybody is singing in the karaoke)

So that’s all! I hope you liked it, and feel free to do more if you want!!

I might do it again another day :)

#skam españa #skam spain #skames #songs game #cris soto #eva vazquez #amira naybet #joana bianchi #nora grace #viri gomez #jorge crespo #alejandro beltran #dylan

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duhragonball · 6 years

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Dragon Ball 101 :(

This is it! The finale of the Tien Shinhan Saga and the 22nd Tenkaichi Budokai! We got a lot to cover, so let’s get moving.

Tien’s final gambit to win the tournament was to destroy the entire ring. Since he can fly and Goku can’t, Goku will have no choice but to land out of bounds, thus giving Tien the victory. Unless Goku was destroyed along with the ring, of course. No one can find the li’l guy.

Which is why I love Chiaotzu’s ominous “He’s alive...”, accompanied by the bead of sweat on his face. Sometimes, Goku is like this movie monster in the form of a little kid. You can run, you can hide, you can beat the crap out of him, you can kill him, but then he keeps coming back for more.

Tien’s mistake was in thinking that Goku would only jump high enough to avoid the destruction of the ring. It didn’t occur to him that he would jump even higher than Tien was floating. So he flies up to meet him.

You gotta hand it to the tournament announcer. He came prepared. There were a few midair battles in the last tournament, but I don’t think any of them required binoculars. Even so, he brought a pair with him just in case.

Tien is ecstatic to find Goku survived the destruction of the ring. This might be the happiest he’s been, probably because he’s starting to think ahead to the day he can Goku can fight again.

As for this fight, the only thing Goku can do is fall, and as soon as he hits the ground it’s all over. And yet, Goku insists that he has one more attack to secure a victory.

Goku starts charging up a Kamehameha, putting everything he has into it. Tien doesn’t see what good that will do, since it won’t save Goku from getting eliminated from the match. Master Roshi takes that reasoning one step further. When Krillin suggests that maybe Goku can make a really BIG Kamehameha, Roshi says that it won’t matter, because Kamehameha waves simply don’t work on Tien, regardless of size or potency.

I’m not sure I understand that. The only time Tien took a Kamehameha was when Yamcha tried it on him in the first round, and he deflected it, sure, but that’s no different from anyone else blocking any other energy attack. If Yamcha had been stronger, or if Tien had been tired, things might have gone differently. At least, that’s what I always assumed.

Roshi seems to be suggesting that you could shoot a Kamehameha at Tien while he’s asleep and it still wouldn’t hurt him. If this is true, then Goku seems to have intuited this as well, since he never actually tried it. The only Kamehameha he’s deployed in this match was to save himself from a ringout a couple of episodes back.

The reason I bring all of this up is because there’s a power-up item in the Xenoverse games called “Haaaaaaaaah!” that just makes your character immune to any Kamehameha moves from any opponents. It’s especially handy in this one bullshit stage where you have to fight Goku, Gohan, and Goten, and all they do is spam Kamehamehas over and over. But it’s a Tien thing, and I never understood why it was a Tien thing until now. I think whoever came up with the item must have been referencing Roshi’s dialogue here.

In any event, Goku doesn’t use the Kamehameha to attack Tien directly. Instead, he points it the other way, which drives him head-first into Tien’s gut, which knocks the wind out of him and sends them both falling to the ground.

So now it’s just a question of which one of them will hit the ground first. Tien was exhausted from destroying the ring, and he only had enough power left to stay aloft, so taking that headbutt has left him in the same predicament he planned for Goku. Once again, the World Tournament Announcer came prepared, and he has a little air-cycle that allows him to follow the boys and track their descent.

For a moment, Goku’s actually at a slight disadvantage, but he fires one last Kamehameha, and it’s incredibly weak because he used up all his power on the last one, but it’s just enough to give him a bit of altitude

But that all gets shot to hell about six feet before they hit the ground. The boys fall over a road, and a truck just happens to crash into Goku, which changes his trajectory enough to knock him to the ground a split second before Tien.

So there it is. Your winner and World Champion of Martial Arts, Number One Under the Heavens, Tien Shinhan. Give him a minute, folks, he’s still kinda groggy.

Everyone at the arena goes nuts and rushes out into the street to find the fighters.

Huuuuuuge babyface pop for Tien when they find him. The spectators congratulate both Tien and Goku for putting on such an awesome match, but Tien has no idea how to process this. Then he sees Master Roshi nod to him and it starts to come together.

Tien would probably have gotten a very different reaction if he had cheated and killed Goku as Crane Hermit had wanted. But by repudiating the Crane School and embracing his own fighting spirit, Tien has won over the people. Instead of fearing him, they respect and admire him, and he’s overwhelmed by it.

Two huge dudes carry Goku and Tien over to each other, and they do the whole mutual respect thing, and Krillin gets all verklempt.

So does Puar, but he’ll cry over anything really.

Yamcha starts doing the slow clap, and everyone joins in and applauds. Man, how much would it suck if you did this in real life and no one joined in? I saw a TV show where that happened and I thought it was funny, but it also filled me with dread. I’d never dare do the slow clap in real life. The risk of it backfiring is too great.

Goku doesn’t even mind losing, even though it was so close.

Goku’s clothes are all wrecked from the fighting, so Krillin gives him his own Turtle Uniform to wear, just like the last tournament. Tien shows up and offers to split the prize money with Goku, because as far as he’s concerned, their match was a tie. But Goku doesn’t know how to spend money, so he declines the offer. What a guy.

Then Yamcha shows up and congratulates Tien on winning the title. Tien apologizes for breaking Yamcha’s leg, and Yamcha’s like “No worries, bro.” Yamcha’s a class act all the way.

Roshi asks Tien and Chiaotzu where they’ll go next, and invites them to stay with him, which leads to this moment:

So yeah, Launch (the blonde one anyway) is in love with Tien. This is not a filler scene. She says this in the manga too. But here’s the funny thing I learned.

I had fallen behind on the manga, but I went back and checked to see how things played out with Bulma and Launch, because in the comics, the tournament was done in a single day, while the anime stretched it out into four. So in the anime, it made sense for Bulma, Launch, and Puar to eventually go back to the stadium to watch the rest of the matches. In the manga, there wouldn’t have been time for that. So whenever they show Goku’s friends in the audience, it’s just Oolong and Turtle, because they were the only ones who didn’t go with Yamcha to the hospital.

That means all the scenes of Launch watching Tien fight after the Yamcha match were filler scenes. She was in the hospital the entire time, although we do have these panels from the comics showing them listening to the tournament on the radio. Launch apparently sneezed at some point, since she was Blue during the Tien/Yamcha match, and Blonde here.

I guess what I’m driving at is that, if you go by the manga, Blonde Launch never actually witnessed Tien’s character arc. She only got to hear play-by-play of Tien vs. Goku, and maybe Tien vs. Jackie Chun. At first I wondered if she admired the way Tien broke Yamcha’s leg, except she was Blue Launch when she saw that fight.

So I’m not entirely sure what Lanch is referring to when she says she’s fallen in love with him. We in the audience have seen Tien’s “wildness”, so when I first watched this episode, it didn’t surprise me at all. But in the original story, Blonde Launch missed most of it.

You know, maybe I’m looking at this all wrong. Maybe what really got Launch’s attention was Tien’s contrition in the aftermath of the tournament. She sees him offer Goku half of the purse, and she sees him apologize to Yamcha, and she sees Roshi invite him into his home, and maybe it reminds her of how she got accepted into this group. She knows of his savagery, but mostly indirectly, and what she sees in person is the other side of his savagery. Maybe that’s what she connects to. I’ll have to think about that some more.

Anyway, Tien says that he and Chiaotzu cannot join the Turtle Hermit, although I don’t understand why not. They’ve already betrayed the Crane Hermit, and I get why that’s a big deal, but that line has already been crossed. I guess Tien feels that turning against the Crane Hermit was necessary, but dishonoring him further would not be, so he won’t.

Tien doesn’t say no to being pen pals with Launch, though (sly goku face).

So with all that out of the way, Roshi suggest they all go to dinner, and Tien offers to pay for it. The only trouble is that Goku left his Nyoibo and Four Star Dragon Ball back at the arena. Krillin offers to fetch them for him, since he knows Goku’s exhausted and hungry.

Then there’s this super weird lull where Goku watches Krillin run off, and he calls out to him, and we pause on every character’s face while they wait for Goku to say whatever it is he’s going to say, and then he admits that he forgot, and they all sort of laugh it off. This whole sequence is still ominous to me, after all these years.

But Krillin is late getting back, and everyone’s tired of waiting for him, so they agree to start without him. Look at Turtle’s little kiddie table, that’s great. How’s he gonna use those tiny salt and pepper shakers? That’s adorable.

Goku gets this weird feeling, and he bolts out of the restaurant without even touching his plate. He gets to the arena and finds Krillin and the World Tournament Announcer down on the ground. The Announcer is dazed, but okay. Krillin, on the other hand...

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU---

This image of Dead Krillin still haunts me. I watched Z first, and I’d seen Krillin die on that show. I even half-expected Krilln to die in this show, because in DBZ Goku said that Krillin couldn’t be wished back since he had died once before. But I never knew when or how, or why it happened in Dragon Ball.

I’m just imagining what a crappy 4k!ds style dub would be like for this scene.

GOKU: Kevin! What happened to you, friend?

KRILLIN: (without moving) Land’s sakes, Goku! Ah was just mindin’ mah own beeswax, when alla sudden this monster moseys on in and grabbed yer Four Star Dragon Ball! Ah tried to fight the low down dirty varmint, but he was tougher’n a Mississippi mule! He even spilled some ketchup on me!

GOKU: It’s okay, Kevin. The important thing is that you weren’t hurt.

Well, this ain’t no 4!kids production. Krillin’s dead, and someone’s got to pay...

#dragon ball #2019dbliveblog #goku #tien #krillin #launch #chiaotzu #master roshi #oolong #paur #yamcha #turtle #bulma #22nd budokai saga

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fycarmensandiego · 6 years

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My thoughts on the new show

It’s not really a proper review because how would I even do that, so here are my various thoughts, somewhat collected! (This is long as hell, fair warning.)

General thoughts:

Le Chevre and El Topo are definitely a couple. I’m so glad other people in the tag are seeing this too. My first inkling was when they were hugging each other after graduating, but it was Carmen’s comment that they only ever work together that really got me like “oh they’re gay.”

Speaking of gays, Dash Haber (Countess Cleo’s courier) is one. His voice is so gay-coded, I knew this one immediately. Not crazy about him being an antagonist (even among antagonists), but he amused me, so he’s good.

Even if they have the same names, these are different characters. The exceptions here being Carmen, the Chief, and possibly Julia. This isn’t a Tomb Raider: Legend case of putting characters in different situations and slightly changing their personalities, or even a Tomb Raider 2013 case of radically changing their personalities to coincide with their new paradigms. Chase, Zack, Ivy, and the rest are really entirely new characters that simply share their names with past characters. It’s almost as if the names are references to the past shows and games than ties to those characters.

For the most part, they even have different designs. Zack is certainly the most radical change, but even the most similar have some changes. Prof. Maelstrom isn’t nearly as stocky as his namesake, and while Dr. Saira Bellum has wild hair like Dr. Sara Bellum, it’s a strange shape as well as a strange color, and her skin is darker.

This isn’t the first time something like this has happened in the franchise, either. Minnie Series from Where on Earth is apparently a totally different character from Minnie Series from the original Where in Time game. Adventures in Math changed a lot of the characters’ designs and backstories: some, like Jacqueline Hyde, still had the same core, but others, like Jane Reaction, are so different they have to be considered different characters. And then there are all the different iterations of the Chief: old white guy, middle-aged white guy, middle-aged Black gal, hologram, presumably white guy shrouded in mystery...

I will say that as a result of this, I was disappointed with Zack and Ivy. Not because this Zack and Ivy are bad characters, but because Where on Earth Zack and Ivy are my favorite characters in the franchise after Carmen, and I was looking forward to getting to see them, or at least characters resembling them, again. But, it is what it is.

I get the Kim Possible comparisons, but they’re not where I’d jump first. There are similarities: both are action shows with deliciously OTT villains (though the VILE gang wish they were as effortlessly iconic as Drakken, Shego, and Señor Senior, Sr. and Jr.) and similar art styles, and Player/Wade is a fair comparison. But I have to say I’d never have thought of that comparison if I hadn’t seen it here on Tumblr, perhaps because KP was rooted in Kim and Ron’s daily lives (Sailor Moon-style), whereas CS is rooted in its overarching plot (Chuck-style).

I do agree with another comparison: Coach Brunt and Countess Cleo, and Eartha Brute and the Contessa. I saw a post in the tag earlier today that brought this up, and while I hadn’t thought of it - probably because the Where in the World show is one of the parts of canon I’m least familiar with - it seems legit to me. I had wondered why these two were seemingly born out of nowhere, when the other three had their names and likenesses drawn from Where on Earth characters. (Shadowsan seems to me to be based on Suhara’s design and, to some extent, personality, with Shadow Hawkins’ name.) The specific theory that post espouses, that it’s a legal issue, seems possible to me. Although the World villains did appear in other Carmen media, I know WGBH and WQED own the copyright to the show, though they licensed the franchise from Brøderbund. So I have no idea what the legal tangle is behind that show, and I imagine it’s very complicated.

Speaking of WGBH: I wonder if Zack and Ivy being from Boston is an incredibly subtle reference to its location there.

I have mixed feelings about the art style. It is great in still shots, but I found it a little hard to watch as animation for very long.

I don’t ship anything – yet. Julia’s clarification of “travel partner” is certainly ripe for shippy implications, but for me there’s really not much on a personality level to ship her and Carmen at this point. (Likewise Carmen and Ivy, or Carmen and Zack.) I could definitely get behind Julia having a crush on Carmen, the way I feel OG!Jules certainly does.

As to Gray... he was plainly asking Carmen out / hitting on her when he gave her his card. But even on the way to the date, she insisted she saw him as an older brother figure. Like with Julia, I could potentially get behind it in future, but I’d have to see it developed further. There’s also the matter of him trying to kill Carmen, which I’m not crazy about... Carmen’s forgiven him since he was under orders from VILE, and his mind-erase courtesy of Dr. Bellum has given him a fresh start, but it didn’t change who he fundamentally is as a person, and that person made the decision to join VILE and ultimately to agree to kill Carmen. But I’m not totally anti-Carmen/Gray at this point.

(In re Carmen’s sexuality: I have always felt strongly that all of Carmen’s previous incarnations were ace/aro, but this Carmen? The sapphics have claimed her, and I’m here for it. I’m fine with her being gay, bi, or pan. I’m fine with her being acespec and/or arospec, or not.)

I was surprised by the violence. Scenes of literal attempted murder would never have made it in previous shows or games! In fact, a lot of the melee combat wouldn’t have. The franchise hasn’t always been totally non-violent - Ivy whacked the occasional villain around on Earth, and ThinkQuick and Stolen Drums both required the player to destroy VILE robots, the former featuring robots with personalities - but I don’t think it’s ever been shown in such detail as the combat scenes in this series. I don’t have a problem with it, exactly, but it was a little jarring.

Things I didn’t like:

The educational moments were utterly didactic. I guess you could say the same about Earth, but I feel like it integrated the education into the plot better, and it certainly made the educational moments more fun by working jokes into them. Meanwhile, this show is taking the Stolen Drums approach of info-dumping for two minutes and then moving ahead with the actual plot with no attention to education thereafter. To go back to my favorite video game (I warned y’all), fucking Tomb Raider: Legend did a better job integrating education with action. And it’s not even supposed to be educational!

Stop trying to make “caper” happen. It’s not going to happen. It’s a perfectly good word to use from time to time, as it always has been in canon, but for “The ____ Caper” to be every episode title, and for it to be used at every opportunity in the script when “theft” or “heist” or another word could have been used just as easily gets annoying. The thesaurus: it exists. Also, it’s so overused that at a certain point I started thinking of the culinary garnish instead of a crime. (And I’ve never even eaten capers. I don’t think I’ve ever even seen them in person.)

I’m not crazy about the newly established genesis of Carmen’s name. Having her grow up with no name but “Black Sheep” makes me feel uncomfortable tbh, and while I like the significance of her choosing her own name, pulling it off a hat label seems cheap. And out of character for someone as thoughtful as Carmen.

Some of the villains seemed like real cultural stereotypes. Thankfully, it was not nearly as bad as Adventures in Math, or we’d literally have had Le Chevre saying, “Hon hon hon, baguettes!” but Shadowsan and Paper Star in particular made me uncomfortable as they felt like very stereotypical “Japanese” characters. The same could be said of Coach Brunt, who while not a stereotype of any marginalized group, was definitely a bit one-note. Coach Beiste, but evil and Texan.

Cross-language misspellings. Namely, Shadowsan and Le Chevre should be Shadow-san and Le Chèvre, should they not? The omission of accent marks has always been one of my major bugaboos, and while it’s not the first time the franchise has done it, it still annoys me. Shadow-san’s missing hyphen annoys me even more, since the hyphen indicates that other honorifics could be used, and in fact, it would (if I understand correctly) be more appropriate for his students to address him as Shadow-sama or Shadow-sensei while his peers call him Shadow-san.

I felt some real misogynistic undertones to Tigress. In a show that otherwise is quite female-forward, it irked me that of Carmen’s four classmates, only one is a girl - and she’s the one who becomes Carmen’s rival. And then for that to continue throughout the series, setting her up as the mean girl to Carmen’s good girl (in many ways, the Regina to Carmen’s Janis Ian), really bothered me. I certainly don’t think female characters have to be perfect, or expect perfect representation, but it feels like Tigress’ development just was not done mindfully, and instead they let themselves fall into misogynistic tropes. It’s not like you to pit women against each other, etc. etc.

The ages and timeline confused me. Carmen seems to be in her late teens or early twenties throughout the main part of the series (I saw a post that mentioned she says she’s 20), yet she was clearly still a preteen or young teen when she stole Cookie’s hard drive. Since Cookie’s delivery is an annual event, its information shouldn’t last Carmen those several years to grow up.

By a similar token, Player seems to be the same age in the flashbacks as in the present day. As a result, he seems a little older than Carmen to start, and a few years younger to conclude. It messes me up. Not least because, not gonna lie, I want to be sure it’s okay for me to be so gay for Carmen.

Things I liked:

The references to previous canon. Along with the aforementioned names, we have:

Rita Moreno’s cameo! (Please, please, God, give us another Rita cameo and cameos for the rest of the Earth cast next season.)

Mentions of punning names. This was delightfully lampshaded with Gray’s original codename of “Graham Crackle” and the subsequent drags from his classmates. And while most of the other characters didn’t get punning names, one of the two who did was Rita’s character, Cookie Booker, the bookkeeper - or, indeed, book-cooker.

The very meta plot point of Carmen getting her outfit by stealing it from Cookie, voiced by her previous incarnation’s voice actor.

Frequent utterances of “Where in the world is...” or “Where on Earth is...”

Tigress’ name, a reference to an Earth episode where Carmen faces a new rival. I don’t know if the Duchess plotline was also a deliberate reference to this episode, or a subconscious one, but it’s so similar that I can’t think it was total coincidence.

I’m thinking “the cleaners” are a reference to the Ick brothers, the janitors from World and USA 3.0.

Carmen is ginger. I have a significant bias for redheads. (I dye my hair red and am only half-joking when I call myself transginger as well as transgender. Heaven on Earth-era Belinda Carlisle is one of my major style rolemodels.) Carmen suddenly being auburn for the first time just makes her even more endearing to me than one would have thought possible. Plus, Ivy and Zack both being redheads? Iconic.

Carmen is also gorgeous. Now, unlike some of you, I have never previously been gay for Carmen; she’s always been more of a big sister figure to me. Instead, as a kid, I was gay for TV!Jacqueline Hyde, Ann Tikwittee, and Ivy, in that chronological order. But the moment I saw this Carmen with her hair up in the trailer, I was a goner. And in her cocktail dress at the charity auction, or her black catsuit at the end of episode 9? I thirst. There were several other points as well where I was just like, “Oh my god, she’s so pretty.” Yes, darlings, I am very gay.

That choker. Most fashionable thing Carmen’s ever worn. Fight me. We love a stylish queen.

Player has a fidget spinner. And it’s only seen briefly, which to me says it’s an everyday part of his life, not something they threw in to try to seem cool... Which in turn allows me to point to something and headcanon that Player is autistic. He’s also known mostly by a username, and spends most of his time working on his special interest, and doesn’t seem to be one for socializing in traditional ways. We love an autistic prince. (Also, this makes him in some ways a male version of my girl Futaba from Persona 5. Again, iconic.)

(To be clear, especially since it wasn’t in my little self-introduction the other day, I’m self-diagnosed on the autism spectrum. So well-written characters being autistic is really fun for me.)

Player is from Niagara Falls, near where I live (I’m on the outer edges of the Buffalo/Niagara Falls MSA), while Zack and Ivy are from Boston, where I’m moving next month. Totally personal to me, but I’m so delighted. Now, granted, Player is on the Ontario side of the Falls rather than the New York side, but still. (Hell, who can blame him for not living in Niagara Falls, NY? It’s a hellhole.)

The VILE leaders stay iconic. Countess Cleo’s crush on Zack in his “Duke” guise is hilarious and adorable, and Dr. Bellum’s obsession with cat videos? Legends only.

Paper Star is generally fantastic. It’s actually too bad for me she’s a villain, because I find her super likeable. Her tendency to hum/sing to herself is also really endearing, and she’s another one who’s easy to headcanon as neurodivergent. I really hope we get more of her, and more of her outside combat and the daily business of villainery, because she’s easily my favorite of the VILE crew.

Tigress is also awesome. Yeah, the female character bias is real, but she’s def my second-favorite, which amplifies my annoyance at the aforementioned misogyny. To be honest, though, part of it may be that she’s basically Amanda Evert, my girlfriend from - you guessed it, folks! - Tomb Raider: Legend, with purple lipstick.

Zack and Ivy met Carmen while casing a donut shop. This is so delightfully silly, and I adore it. Like, who the fuck robs a donut shop of all things? I feel like it could’ve been a reference to them being fat, maybe one that was meant to be developed further but ended up on the cutting room floor? On that note...

The fat positivity is real. Zack and Ivy are still able to move around and are even somewhat athletic; the Countess crushes on Zack; and nothing negative is said about their weight (except the potential implications of the donut shop). I love this.

Carmen and Jules’ conversation. As I said above, it’s not enough for me to start shipping them, but I love that Carmen casually addresses her as Jules rather than Julia. It’s so much like when people I don’t know well call me Soph instead of Sophie, which I always love because it connotes that closeness. Moreover, since Julia’s previous incarnation / namesake was almost always called Jules, and was Carmen’s former detective partner, I feel like there’s an implication that Carmen coined that nickname and it became her primary moniker. It’s just so good, and shipping or no shipping, I really hope we get more interactions between them next season.

The voices are good... mostly. Maelstrom is definitely the one I was most impressed with, as his voice has a lot of character while still being easy to understand. Liam O’Brien was doing a great Tim Curry impression there, but much less egregiously campy and therefore more believable. Sharon Muthu was also fantastic as Dr. Bellum - not as fantastic as WOEICS!Sara’s voice actor (Candi Milo?), but then, who could be? And Kari Wahlgren’s performance as Tigress was snarly perfection.

Gina Rodriguez is a big departure from Carmen’s typically low-pitched voice, but she’s perfectly fine. I never sat up and went, “Wow, what a performance!” but I can’t find any fault with it either. Finn Wolfhard as Player is obviously cross-promotional stunt casting, but surprisingly, it’s also perfect casting.

On the minus side... Zack and Ivy. Part of it is that their accents are so ridiculous that it’s distracting (see above Tim Curry comment). Part of it is that, at least to my ears, the accents aren’t believable - I thought they were supposed to be from Brooklyn until they mentioned Boston. I actually don’t fault the VAs for this, as they both have moments where I got the sense they’d be capable VAs for the characters (and I know Abby Trott is talented as I loved her in Tales of Berseria and Nier: Automata), but rather the voice director(s) who pushed them toward those performances. I feel like if the direction had been different, I’d have liked Zack and Ivy a lot more.

That plot twist. I truly never saw it coming. I suspected that Coach Brunt was not, in fact, the one who found Carmen, but I’d actually thought it might have been Prof. Maelstrom. The extent of Shadowsan’s revelations was a big surprise to me. Kudos to the writers for pulling that off.

Conclusion:

It’s not the series I expected. It’s not the series I hoped for. But it is one that I enjoyed, both on its own merits and for revitalizing the franchise. As I said last night, it is a hell of a feeling to have new Carmen content in 2019 (that’s actually getting attention), and for it to be really good content is a relief.

If anyone else wants to share their thoughts, either one-on-one or with the rest of the community (as it were), please do! I’d love to talk more about this series and this franchise and the thieving queen of my heart, Ms. Carmen Sandiego.

#cs2019 #carmen sandiego spoilers #reviews

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jbuffyangel · 6 years

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Weekly Rundown 10/21/18-10/26/18

Time to rundown what I’m watching, loving, hating and everything in between! Spoilers ahead! Full episode reviews and reactions are linked in the titles.

Daredevil Season 3

Just so y’all know - most nuns do not wear their habits in public anymore. It’s been that way since Vatican II, but TV refuses to catch up.

The action is amaaaaazing again. I love how Matt actually gets tired when he’s fighting.

I don’t want Matt to put that ugly Daredevil suit on again he looks ridiculous. Keep the black mask and call it a day.

I want Foggy to propose very badly. I need a Foggy wedding in Season 4.

Is there any particular reason why Karen didn’t haul ass to Frank’s Punisher lair when her life was in danger and Matty Mcbrown eyes was off Daredeviling an existential crisis? That’s where I’d go.

Matt refusing to ask the other Defenders help because “it’s not their fight” is the stupidest reason ever.

Arrow (“The Longbow Hunters”)

It is a bit creepy when Stan says, “I bet a guy like that would do anything to keep his family safe.” Maybe Stan is a nuthouse, but leave me to my dream for now.

Is it me or did Yorke look older than 40? 1978????

Deputy Director Bell is evil. Calling it now.

The Longbow Hunters don’t actually use bows. This is a twist I did not see coming.

Bl*ck S*ren can’t lawyer worth a damn, but she can wear a suit.

“Stay behind me.” That was oddly hot Rene. I’m wildly uncomfortable that I find you attractive right now, but it is what it is.

Rene: Been back in town a week and you’re already sneaking out of A.R.G.U.S. behind Papa Dig’s back? I’m so proud.

Felicity: Thanks man.

This whole exchange was delightful and not remotely derogatory like “Blondie.” THY NAME IS CHARACTER GROWTH.

“Grab your balls Curtis, we’re going in.” If the Rene character only exists to say this one line of dialogue then it was worth it.

Why didn’t BS and Dinah go after the Longbow Hunter? What is up with allowing all these criminals to run away at a moderately brisk pace and our people acting like they can’t catch them? They are called legs! Move your ass!

BITCH YOU BETTER NOT STEP ON THAT PHOTO!!!!!!!

Legends of Tomorrow (“The Virgin Gary”)

Legends Season 4 premiere is fantastic and full of all the hi-jinks I’ve missed over hiatus.

“Speaking of the same old crap isn’t that what he did last year?”Legends gets points for acknowledging that Wally gets the storyline shaft a lot.

When you are officially a hero the time bureau gives you a medal, but I was more excited about the balloons.

It would be super weird if the Legends spent more than a day in 2018.

Remember when Oliver asked Sara to move in with him and she went running screaming in the other direction? It all worked out because Sara knew he was really in love with Felicity. I’m just saying she’s come a looooong way.

I want to be clear about one thing and it’s not up for debate. Ready? The best thing about Legends is Mick. It’s always Mick. That is all.

OMG NATE’S FATHER IS BIFF FROM BACK TO THE FUTURE?????!!!!!!!! THIS IS SPECTACULAR CASTING!!!

Manifest “Connecting Flights”

It was nice to fill in the back story of the characters left behind after the plane went missing, however the show is starting to lose my attention. I need more movement on these character relationships. Manifest is hitting a lot of the same notes week after week.

This Is Us (“Toby”)

Randall is going ahead with the city council job? Are they independently wealthy Does no one have to work?

Baby Toby is the cutest.

Holy crap is this how in vitro really works? It’s so friggin expensive and no guarantees. Wow, my sympathies to all those who have gone through this excruciating process.

Randall unbuttoning his shirt is all the reason I need to vote for him. Done deal.

Toby used his wonderful sense of humor to cheer up his depressed Mom. Ugh my heart.

But for real though sometimes you need just “one damn day.” #MomLife

Three hours to get ready Kate? Just as an FYI - that’s all over when you have a baby. You’ll be lucky to get a shower.

Miguel carried a piano up stairs to cheer Rebecca up. That’s love.

“There’s so much of her in you it scares me.” THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU SAY TO YOUR CHILD ASSHOLE.

A+ on the prom dresses. Absolutely what I wore in high school. We were fashionista slaves in the late nineties.

Kate’s impression of Adele is dead on.

Miguel tries so hard. He’s just trying to keep his promise to Jack.

Rebecca is such an amazing mom. Kate doesn’t give her nearly enough credit.

KATE IS PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Rookie (Pilot” and “Crash Course”)

I really loved The Rookie. I typically don’t hate procedurals, but this one has surprised me thus far. It’s fast paced, so it held my attention more. I hope it stays that way.

I love how it is the rookies versus the training officers. It fills my Rookie Blue void.

I am not invested in any ships yet. I am not buying the romance between Nolan and Lucy so far. I actually think Lucy has more chemistry with Bradford and Nolan with the Captain.

A Million Little Things (“Friday Night Dinner” and “The Game of Your Life”)

I want to love this show, but they are making it next to impossible. I hate cheating storylines in any show. It’s one of the main reasons I quit watching Shonda Rhimes’ shows because she is unable to write one without including adultery. Arrow’s original love story revolved around cheating and was an absolute mess. It feels like a lazy way to inject drama. This cheating storyline between Eddie and Delilah is making two characters who are otherwise very likable extremely unlikable.

Instead of jettisoning this plot into the atmosphere where it belongs and never speaking of it again, A Million Little Things is double down on it. Delilah is pregnant! Oh wonderful, now we get to play “Who’s the Daddy?” for several weeks.

Apparently, the writers come from The Fl*sh school of writing. Characters can only be mad at other characters for one episode. All the friends found out about Eddie and Delilah’s affair and the very next week they are sitting down to pizza. It’s at Delilah’s house and Eddie’s wife Katherine comes too because FRIENDS. No. Just no.

Instead of being angry at Eddie and Delilah, the friends make excuses for them. Regina’s conversation with Delilah turned into a huge “I didn’t see your pain” apology, which is flat out ridiculous. What Delilah did was so off the charts wrong there is no excuse for it. If you are in pain see a therapist. It’s not an excuse to cheat on your husband. Also, Regina you are not to blame for Delilah lying to everyone for over two years.

Gary, who has been the angriest, decides he’s being too hard on Eddie (ya know by actually holding him accountable for his actions) and lets Eddie move in with him after his wife finally kicked him out. Are you freaking kidding me with this? I was already mildly irked at Gary for giving Delilah a free pass, but I understood his reasoning because her husband just jumped off a building. She has been punished quite a lot. But Eddie? I think we could muster a couple episodes of anger towards Eddie.

The writers attempted drum up sympathy for Delilah by shining a little light on her seemingly perfect marriage with Jon. It’s not really perfect, but what marriage is? Jon was short with Delilah during a family dinner. He took a phone call from work and snapped, “Everything I do is for this family.” What a bastard. Of course, that is reason enough for Delilah to jump into bed with Eddie, her husband’s best friend. GIVE. ME. A. FRIGGIN. BREAK. If my husband slept with someone else every time I was cranky with him, he’d have a harem.

So, on top of being suicide apologists, the writers are adding cheating apologists. There is no reason to cheat. It’s just mean. Nobody has put a gun to your head. If you want out of your marriage you march to an attorney’s office and file for divorce. Not sure if you want a divorce? Then go to counseling. But cheating, under any circumstances, is wrong. It’s cruel and selfish. It’s trying to have your cake and eat it too. A Million Little Things trying to excuse away Eddie and Delilah’s heinous behavior is almost as bad as the cheating itself. Trying to make suicide and cheating okay with excuses is dangerous behavior. I AM NOT A FAN.

Stray Thought - on what planet is a school program presented in the middle of the freaking day? What kind of ridiculous school do Eddie and Katherine send their son to?

Blindspot (“The Quantico Affair”)

Zapata has a very interesting running stride. Sorry I was in cross country. That stuff interests me

Roman saying "He knows. This is it. Kill him" underscores the dramatic tension.

I’m gonna need someone on Team Blindspot to pick up on Remi's side eye. Y'all are FBI agents for goodness sake.

I don't actually know what Patterson's name is, but I feel confident it is not Lisa.

I think Martin Gero saw me write "Where is Patterson's storyline?" in my last review. I could have opted for patience, but complaining loudly via written word felt like a better plan.

Hey watch the condemnation Remi aka Jane aka double secret agent who told so many lies I can't keep it straight anymore.

OMG Rich not explaining how the tattoo was solved is the best thing ever. PLEASE DO THIS EVERY WEEK

I wanna talk about the Book of Secrets mostly because Rich calls it the Book of Secrets.

Hahaha. Her one night stand showed up at work. This is how Meredith and McDreamy began. I highly recommend elevator scenes too.

One night stand boy is Weitz's nephew. IT. JUST. GOT. BETTER

Sure Madeline come on in and check out our super secret tattoo murder board.

"Thundercats ho!" OMG was that an ad lib?

Totally ship Patterson and this dude. I should probably learn his name.

Somebody tell Rich about the one night stand. Pleeeeeeeease.

I'm not calling him Lincoln. He shall be known as "Slab of Man-Ham" forevermore.

Patterson and Rich are the perfect work wife/husband team. Remember Rich is the work wife

How does Weitz maintain employment? This may be the greatest of all Blindspot's mysteries.

Of course "Jane" and Weller are on the train Weitz. IT'S THEIR JOB. Seriously someone get this dude a DVD of #Blindspot S1-S3

Patterson girl, Jane is never that cranky with you when she's diffusing bombs. SOMEBODY NOTICE PERSONALITY CHANGES PLEASE!!!

"You're new here." ALL KNEEL TO PATTERSON.

#daredevil #arrow #this is us #legends of tomorrow #a million little things #blindspot #weekly rundown reviews #weekly rundown

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myinazeaanazazi · 6 years

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my villain pet peeve and Infinity War

So, I saw Avengers: Infinity War last Friday and I’ve been reminded once again why I dislike most villains.

Spoilers ahead.

Now, watching Infinity War started sucky. Because they kill Loki before the Title even shows up on screen. That made me a bit mad for multiple reasons.

I only saw Thor: Ragnarok once, so I had no idea that the after credit scene was “Thanos shows up”... I mean, I knew when I watched the movie, but only because I watched one of those ‘prepare for infinity war’ videos on youtube. So, right off the bat: Continuity.

Now, controversial opinion: Why not put that not-even-five-minute scene at the end of Ragnarok? I mean, Marvel wouldn’t have had to hire Tom Hiddleston for Infinity War, which could have saved them money, I guess? More importantly, it would have helped with continuity, because I can promise you I would have remembered Thanos offing Loki. Also, there would have been the additional tension of ‘Do Loki and Thor live?’ Plus, I would have loved to see the spaceship destroyed and not being thrown into a pre-destroyed spaceship.

It kinda deadened me to the following deaths. Like, we killed a dude in the first five minutes. I expect copious amounts of blood flow... and didn’t get any. Like, people, uh, died, but it was Loki, nothing, nothing, nothing, Gamora, nothing, EVERYONE... and without blood.

This makes the fact that we get little to no reaction to the people dying another problem I have. Like, Thor sheds a single tear ... and Star-Lord punches Thanos because he killed Gamora ... Thanos cries one single tear ... and that is all the emotional reaction we see the characters have to the deaths. Sorry, but that doesn’t exactly move me ... which might be a failure on my part.

Then there is the fact that there are a few character points that irk me.

Scarlet Witch and her inability to prioritize. Seriously, your boyfriend is begging, begging you to kill him because it’s the only way to prevent genocide and you choose smoochies over the universe? I get that she’s lost a whole lot of shit over the course of her life and doesn’t want to lose any more people, but Vision has ... knowledge and thinks about things. He’s arguably the mentally most skilled of the bunch and still smoochies top genocide? Cause I’ve seen a review where someone actually called Wanda decisive and I was screaming at my monitor that “NO! She literally waits until the very last fucking second to kill her boyfriend, that is NOT decisive at all!” Plus, wouldn’t it have been so much more devastating (read: interesting and having emotion-potential) for her to a) realize when they get to Wakanda (cause they would’ve gone there anyway) and b) make Thanos have more power and make him less likable if he’d turned back time for more than 2 minutes? and having Scarlet Witch realize that she even though she killed her boyfriend and has been struggling with that for more than fifteen seconds, that sacrifice was for naught? I mean, she disappears a minute later, so there is no emotion there ... Plus, that stupid stupid stupid scene that was all about Scarlet Witch and Vision being a couple? After we’ve last seen them in civil war and we hadn’t even had confirmation that they’re together, did we have to spend ten fucking minutes on them being all lovey and in an established relationshps? I realize, partly that’s me being not all that interested in Scarlet Witch, a character that showed up 2 movies ago, who has been nothing but that antagonist that joins the team late in the game and whose powers we don’t even actually know a lot about, because nobody has spent time developing her. There has been no movie about her, nothing. She’s been a side character for 2 movies. Nobody gave either Hawkeye or Black Widow a truly impactful role in the last few movies, and we know so much more about them than we know about Scarlet Witch. Mostly, I just hate that she’s nothing more than a plot-device and everyone treats her like she’s the second coming.

Star-Lord punching Thanos, because EMOTIONS. I was sitting in my theater when they almost pull off the glove and telling Star-Lord not to fucking punch him. Yes, it was predictable as fuck and dear God did I want to see Thanos besting the heroes after the took off the glove, but nooooo, Star-Lord had to be ~overwhelmed by his emotions~ after finding out that Gamora is dead, and hit Thanos in that one moment when they could have succeeded. I was so angry at the little twat.

Dr. Strange giving up the Time Stone after explicitly stating that he’s definitely going to sacrifice everyone to keep the stone safe, he gives up the stone to Thanos. Like, dude. Really? I thought you understood priorities.

Dr. Strange’s last words are something along the lines of “Sorry Tony, this was the only way.”, which ruins the whole thing. He looks at 14 Million possible futures. And of course, there is ONE future where they win. He couldn’t have said, like, seventy-five? Like, ALL the stars have to align to win. 75 out of 14 Million is still not a snowball’s chance in hell if you’re talking probabilities and it would have sounded less ... you know ... farfetched. Now, that’s not my biggest problem, because that doesn’t take you out of the movie in the very last moment of the movie. You only remember that later when thinking about it. Which I greatly prefer to having them shove the fact that the whole movie was pointless because of course they’re gonna win, because Dr Strange has put everything he can into motion and he knows they’re gonna win.

Now, Thanos. Thanos, Thanos, Thanos. Let’s summarize what I remember about Thanos pre-Infinity War: In the Avengers after-credit scene, Buffy/Angel-Wesley tells us/Thanos that fighting Earth’s mightiest heroes would be a great way to ‘court Death’. Now, me, a person who hasn’t read the comics, I went on the internet and did a little bit of research (not a lot^^) and found out that Thanos is in love with the anthropomorphic personalization of Death and wants to court her via killing as many people as he can, as gifts to her. Which felt like a cool thing. So I was a bit disappointed that they dropped that angle entirely. Which we find out when we find out that Thanos wants to bring balance to the galaxy.

And that means I have to downgrade Thanos from villain-status to antagonist-status. Imagine my disappointment when instead of Buffy’s “the First Evil”, I got “The Initiative”. Now, both are kinda scary concepts and valid and stuff, but one of them bit off more than they could chew while the other just ran out of people they could manipulate. Plus, one’s embodied by Nathan Fillion in my head and the other by ... Marc Blucas. I had to google that because while Riley was a character on Buffy for 31 episodes and Caleb only for 5, one of them made much more of an impression than the other.

My problem with Thanos as we see him in Infinity War is that he’s misguided. JUST misguided. And I despise misguided villains because most of them aren’t done very well. I understand the desire for villains outside of run-off-the-mill bloodthirsty insanity, but in my head, Thanos is just a person who uses the wrong ends to achieve the same goal as our heroes. Saving the universe. Granted, the heroes’ need to save the universe only arises because Thanos wants to save the universe, but the goal is the same.

I’m not saying that the end justifies the means, but the Thanos we got to know during that movie (that feels inappropriately titled, because, really, shouldn’t it be called ‘Thanos’?) sees his way as the only viable way after experiencing Titan’s downfall. Therein lies my problem. We see Titan lying in ruins. True, there could have been any number of reasons for that, but operating on what we know is Thanos’s level of knowledge, Titan was destroyed because of overpopulation and no way they devised of countering the overpopulation helped. The rationale that killing people, aka Thanos’s way, is the only one that works is sound. Which makes him the hero of the story. You know, the one that makes the hard choices. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. Sure, a nice side-effect, he feels, is that people are going to thank him once they realize that what he’s done is great, but that’s not his main objective.

Thanos is too human for my taste. In a bad way. Red Skull was human once, but the way we see him in Captain America dehumanizes him while making him a villain. A goofy villain, sure, but a villain nonetheless.

This is my first problem.

The second one is speculation based on what I know about books and movies and stuff. Namely that after that scene with baby Gamora looking all disappointed in Thanos, the logical way this is going to continue is Thanos is going to realize that he made a mistake and will want to make amends and put everything to rights. And that would really suck because if you want to make Thanos into a hero, don’t market him as a villain.

Redeeming villains has its time and place, sure, but not fast. Please, let there be character development first...and please don’t do that in a superhero universe when you’ve built the guy up for the past ten years.

I mean, I get that there’s other ways to go with the story. I really hope I’m wrong, but ...

My third problem is not with Thanos himself but with our heroes, who, although they should have learned that just punching people isn’t any kind of solution, that’s the only way they even think about solving their problem. Like, I would have expected at least someone to be like “He’s talking about saving the universe. Shouldn’t we, like, try and convince him that killing people is not the solution?”, and then maybe someone to say “Don’t you think there are any number of people who tried that?”, but as far as I can tell, there is nobody who’s ever stood up to Thanos with anything other than violence. I’m not a pacifist, I actually like action movies and the violence in them. Like, from a distance. But nobody ever even talks about a different solution. We have time to establish that Scarlet Witch and Vision are in a sex-having relationship, but we don’t have time for that?

I also don’t know what Thanos can do with the Infinity gauntlet, because nobody says what all that entails. Yeah, he can manipulate reality, but what does that mean? We only ever see him do shit that temporarily affects shit, so ... what? As The Film Theorists pointed out, Thanos could have just doubled everything except the population, but can the gauntlet do that? Other people pointed out that the people aren’t actually dead, just sucked into the soul stone, so is that whole “doubling shit” even an option?

My biggest problem is that I can’t really root against Thanos. Especially when none of our heroes even tried talking to Thanos. Like, sure, they don’t get the chance, but they don’t even consider the option of not waging war. They don’t ever try to find a solution. Sure, he kills people by the billion, but he doesn’t do that for his own gains (as a proper villain should, in my mind) but for the good of the universe. I fucking hate that. Like, Voldemort and Umbridge and Ultron and .... others I can’t think of right now, are actually malicious. Not just ... goal-oriented.

Well, not true. My biggest problem is that all of what I just listed detracts from the good things about infinity war.

Like, the story is actually quite good. The characters fit together well. The chemistry between the characters is great. The banter is great. The visual effects are great. Everything but what I listed is outstanding in my mind.

#thanos #worries about the future of thanos #infinity war #opinion

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zen3to5 · 5 years

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J/H 3-09: Ice Shack

I decided to set up shop for this project on a side blog.

Originally, this was a one-shot done on the spur of the moment on my main blog after going through the entire series for the first time (well, the entire series up to Season 6). But, now that I'm watching it again from start to finish, I've decided to dip my toe into T7S writing again. And I decided to continue on from my original premise: if Jackie and Hyde's relationship up to "Jackie Bags Hyde" had follow-up in in the rest of Season 3 and Season 4.

I'm well aware I'm not the first person to have that idea, though I can't claim to have read many other examples out there. This is just something I'm doing for fun, and to loosen up my chops writing dialogue and structuring plots. I'm not aiming to "correct" anything in the show as it is. The goal here is to produce something that could realistically have been of the show, given its genre, time period, and time limitations, with just one major aspect (and the resulting ripple effects) changed. Not every episode is getting re-written, and some episodes will only have "B" stories, or even one or two scenes, changed (though the unaltered material will usually be included, for context.) I'm also aiming to reconnect with canon by early Season 5 and end this project there, with the (very slim) possibility of doing an alternate Season 7 finale.

First up: the germ of this idea, my original re-write of 3-09, "Ice Shack." It's been slightly altered from what I originally wrote, partially due to reconsidering dialogue, partially due to trying to adhere to restrictions of time and structure, and partially because, now that this is an ongoing project, certain things are best saved for later.

FF.Net AO3

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SHOW TITLE INT. FORMAN BASEMENT - NIGHT The gang has just finished a round of poker. HYDE is in his chair, ERIC, DONNA, and JACKIE share the couch, KELSO is in the lawn chair, and FEZ is in the hoppity hop. Everyone else groans as HYDE laughs triumphantly and scoops the pot up into his arms. Kelso and Fez exit out the basement door, grumbling. Jackie rises and gathers up her coat. JACKIE: Goodnight, Steven. HYDE: Whatever. Jackie stares at Hyde for a moment as he counts his money, then exits. On the couch, Eric and Donna watch Hyde and trade whispers with one another. Hyde rises, gathers his coat, and makes for the door. HYDE (cont’d): Alright, I’ll see you later. Donna nudges Eric lightly. He nods and looks up to face Hyde. ERIC: Hey, why don’t you go ahead and sit back down there, Hyde? We’ve gotta have a little talk with you, mister. He points to Hyde’s chair, and Donna nods. Hyde gives them a long look, and Eric gives an insistent look back. Hyde shrugs and sits down. Eric and Donna inch across the couch to get closer to him, and Donna reaches a hand out and places it on Hyde’s knee. DONNA: Okay, Hyde...is there anything you want to tell us about your date with Jackie on Veteran’s Day? HYDE: (beat) Okay, bye-bye. He stands again, but Eric and Donna stand too, and push him back into his chair. HYDE (cont’d): Whatever, man. So we went on a date. So? DONNA: “So?” Hyde, she stalked you for weeks, you went to jail for her, and when you two finally went out, neither of you said anything about it. HYDE: (shrugs) Nothing to say. DONNA: But Hyde, if anything happened, then the whole group is - HYDE: Nothing happened. (they stare) Nothing happened. DONNA: Okay, so, that’s it? It was a dud date, and it’s all over? HYDE: Yeah. I mean... yeah. Well... yeah. ERIC: (beat) Hyde... HYDE: What? She said she didn’t feel anything, so - DONNA: Wait - she said she didn’t feel anything? Donna and Eric both break into matching grins and lean in. Hyde shifts in his chair. HYDE: (beat) Oh, no. You got it all wrong, man. So she thought the kiss was - DONNA: Oh my god, you kissed? ERIC: The horror! Donna and Eric gape at Hyde, who jumps to his feet. HYDE: Hey! Listen to me - I don’t like Jackie! I only took her on that date to shut her up about all this fantasy hero-worship crap she’s been on! Nothing happened, and there’s nothing to say about it! ERIC: Oh...well, you know... (reaches out to take Hyde’s hand) In Point Place, they say that Steven Hyde's heart grew three sizes that day. Hyde yanks his hand free and storms out of the basement, while Eric and Donna fall against each other, laughing.

MAIN CREDITS BUMPER INT. FORMAN BASEMENT - DAY The next morning. Hyde sits in his chair eating oatmeal. Eric and Donna, dressed for winter, sit on the couch. They stare at Hyde and grin. As Hyde raises a spoonful toward his mouth, he stops, but doesn’t turn to face Eric and Donna. They keep staring. Hyde resumes eating but pauses again with the next spoonful. Eric and Donna keep grinning at him. Hyde finishes his bite, but when they still won’t stop, he shoves his spoon into his oatmeal and turns to face them. HYDE: This is going in both your faces. I swear to God. DONNA: I can’t believe it. Tough, trouble-making Steven Hyde - no ties, no girlfriends - gets a crush on Jackie Burkhart. She cracks up as she says the name, and she and Eric lean their heads against each other as they laugh. HYDE: Get bent, I do not. ERIC: Yeah, Donna, ease up. It’s gotta be a tough time for our boy here. What with the broken heart, because... Jackie didn’t feel anything. Donna starts laughing again. Hyde flings some oatmeal Eric’s way, and he dodges it. ERIC (cont’d): I dunno, Donna. Someone might have beat us to the draw on the bedroom this weekend. HYDE: What are you talking about? DONNA: The trip to Kelso’s uncle’s cabin. Didn’t he tell you? We’re leaving any minute. A horn honks off-screen. The three share looks and head upstairs. CUT TO: EXT. FORMAN DRIVEWAY - DAY Kelso is standing in front of his van, parked with its back facing the road. He paces and rubs his hands together. Hyde, Eric, and Donna come outside through the kitchen. KELSO: (to Eric, Donna) Hey. So, you guys ready to go? HYDE: Kelso, man, what the hell? You didn’t tell me about this trip? Kelso looks as if he just noticed Hyde was there. KELSO: Oh. I’m sorry, Hyde. I forgot. HYDE: Well, so long as there’s beer, I forgive you. (claps Kelso’s shoulder) Let’s go. KELSO: Wait, Hyde. You can’t come. HYDE: Why not? Kelso hesitates, then steps around Hyde to reach Eric and Donna. KELSO: Okay, I might as well let you in on my master plan here. See, what this whole trip is about is a romantic double date, with you two, me, and Jackie. ERIC: Okay, see, Kelso - double dates usually work better when the second couple are actually dating. KELSO: So, it’s a secret double date. I told Jackie the whole gang was coming, but I didn’t invite Hyde or Fez. (to Hyde) No offense. DONNA: I’m out. She and Eric both turn to head back inside, but Kelso moves to block their way. KELSO: No, I need you guys! Look - I wanna win Jackie back. I love her, I miss her...and I’ve been getting, like, nothing from Laurie lately. Donna rolls her eyes, Eric grins, and Hyde fumes. Kelso ignores them all. KELSO (cont’d): And, Eric and Donna, you guys are, like, the perfect couple, so if you’re there, I can just copy all the sissy, loser things that Eric does, and I’m gold! ERIC: (to Donna) I mean - he asks so nicely, how could we refuse? DONNA: Kelso, I am not doing this! KELSO: Oh, come on! You guys get a romantic weekend out of it, and I’ll have tons of beer! We won’t even need a refrigerator 'cause it’s so freaking cold! (crosses to Hyde) Oh, but I need to grab the beer and gas on the way, so... I kinda need it back. He holds out his hand. HYDE: You need what back? KELSO: You know...my money. HYDE: What money? KELSO: My money from the poker game last night. HYDE: Kelso, that’s my money. KELSO: No, it’s mine! I brought it! HYDE: And you lost it! KELSO: Well, since when does losing it to you in a poker game make it your money? Hyde stares, and Eric and Donna roll their eyes. HYDE: Okay - fine, Kelso. I’ll pay for this trip - with my money - on one condition: I come too. KELSO: What? No, Hyde! That throws off my whole plan! Why do you want to come anyway? ERIC: Yes, Hyde - why do you want to come? HYDE: (beat) Kelso, all your master plans are stupid and blow up in your face. I could spend my poker winnings on beer and Playboys, but those are there every weekend. Watching you crash and burn - that’s something special, man. And I don’t wanna miss it. KELSO: (beat) Alright, you’re in. Kelso, laughing, moves to the front of the van, with Eric following. Hyde and Donna linger by the back. Donna takes a few steps toward Hyde. DONNA: Hyde - you really do care about her, don’t you? Hyde shifts on his feet. HYDE: No... but do you wanna go through all that again? (doing Jackie) “Oh my god, you’re so beautiful, Michael!” (doing Kelso) “Oh my god, you’re so beautiful, Jackie!” (doing Jackie) “But you cheated with Laurie and Pam Macy - you’re such a dirty dog!” (doing Kelso) “Well damn, Jackie! What do you expect from a shallow, stupid man-whore?” DONNA: (laughing) Well, deny it all you want - this is the sweetest I think I’ve ever seen you. But I think it’s good for Jackie that she’s on her own right now. So please tell me you’re not gonna use this trip to crawl all over her too. HYDE: I told you - she didn’t feel anything. Donna sighs and reaches out to rub Hyde’s shoulder. DONNA: Ugh, I can’t believe Kelso. And what about poor Fez? We’re leaving him all alone this whole weekend. HYDE: Actually, I think he’ll be fine. He had some plans. CUT TO: INT. MOVIE THEATER - DAY A packed theater sits back to enjoy a special screening of WILLY WONKA AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY. Pan across the first row until we arrive on FEZ, munching away at popcorn and chocolate. His eyes are wide and his mouth hangs open. FILM (aud. only): Who can take a sunrise (who can take a sunrise) Sprinkle it with dew (sprinkle it with dew) Cover it with choc'late and a miracle or two... Fez sits up straight and sings out, as loud as he can... FEZ & FILM: The Candy Man! Oh, the Candy Man can! Everyone sitting around Fez glares at him. He smiles apologetically and slumps back down into his seat. CUT TO: INT. FORMAN LIVING ROOM - DAY LAURIE sits on the couch in her bathrobe. She watches TV and sips at a mug of coffee. KITTY enters through the kitchen door. Seeing Laurie, she sucks in a deep breath and puts on a hard smile. KITTY: Good afternoon, sunshine. We missed you at lunch. And breakfast. And dinner last night. LAURIE: Yeah...I would’ve made it, but it interfered with my plans to not spend more time in this dump than I have to. KITTY: (laughs) So, ah - what do you have planned for the day? LAURIE: Same as every day. Lie here, do my nails, avoid talking to you. It’s not going that well so far. Kitty crosses to turn off the TV. Laurie makes a hollow gesture of protest, but doesn’t stir from her spot as Kitty joins her on the couch. KITTY: Honey, you’ve done nothing but party all night and sleep all day for months. LAURIE: Oh, come on, Mom. KITTY: Oh, not “come on.” Sweetie, I’m worried about you. The way you’re going, you’re going to end up like...like Aunt Martha. Laurie sits up straight. LAURIE: You think I’ll end up like Fat Martha? With the beer gut? KITTY: The poor woman couldn’t even play putt-putt. Laurie stands. LAURIE: I can’t believe you’d say that about your own daughter! And I can’t play putt-putt either, but only because it’s really hard to get it in the hole! She storms upstairs. Kitty picks up the coffee mug she left behind. KITTY: Not a problem anyone’s ever had with you, I’m sure. CUT TO: EXT. LAKESIDE - DAY Hyde and Eric unload the van as Donna, Kelso, and JACKIE stand back and take in the small, rickety ICE SHACK sitting on top of the frozen lake. Kelso grins, while the girls look incredulous. DONNA: This is your uncle’s cabin? KELSO: Yeah...now that we’re here, I guess I can tell you that part too. It’s more of an ice shack. JACKIE: It’s an outhouse! Kelso crosses over to a large metal barrel just outside the shack. KELSO: No, this is the outhouse. And the hot tub. The girls glare. They join Eric and Hyde on their way back to the van, but Kelso walks after them. KELSO (con’d): It’s for fishing. My uncle comes out here all the time! It’s gonna be a blast. Just us, in this beautiful snow. And we can catch all the fish we want! HYDE: So, on the ride back from this weekend in Hell, we can enjoy the smell of dead fish the whole way home? Oh, boy! Jackie moves to Hyde’s left, as far from Kelso as she can get. Donna takes a step closer to Eric. DONNA: It’s kind of cold. ERIC: Oh, here - take my jacket. He shrugs his jacket off and drapes it over Donna’s shoulders. DONNA: I love you! ERIC: God, were are such the... They both turn to look at Kelso. ERIC (cont’d): ...Perfect couple. Kelso rolls his eyes. Jackie shivers. JACKIE: I’m cold, too. KELSO: Well, damn, Jackie, I can’t control the weather! He notices Eric and Donna glaring at him, and the lights click on. He makes a big show of taking his jacket off and presenting it to Jackie. It is now her turn to roll her eyes. JACKIE: Forget it. Donna, let’s go inside. DONNA: (to Eric) How does that sound to you, honey? ERIC: I think that sounds like a great idea, sweetie. DONNA: Oh my God, let’s go! The two of them link hands and follow Jackie towards the ice shack. Kelso starts to follow, but Jackie holds up a hand to stop him. JACKIE: You’re not coming in. KELSO: What? Jackie, it’s freezing out here! ERIC: Well, Kelso, you can always warm yourself up in the hot tub toilet. He drums lightly on the rim of the barrel. He disappears inside the shack with Donna. Jackie lingers in the doorway and looks at Hyde, still by the van. JACKIE: Steven, are you coming? HYDE: In a bit. Think I’ll fumigate the van for a little while first. JACKIE: Won’t you be cold? HYDE: I don’t feel anything. He and Jackie look at each other. Jackie breaks away first, disappearing inside the shack and closing the door behind her. Kelso crosses over to Hyde and scoffs. KELSO: Man, can you believe this? I mean, what’s the point of bringing Eric and Donna along if copying all his dorky moves doesn’t work? HYDE: Yeah, man. It’s almost as if pretending to be someone you’re not is a bad idea. KELSO: I know, right? I mean, that’s impossible, but it’s so close to what’s happening here. Hyde sighs, claps Kelso on the shoulder, and pulls him along as he steps into the van. BUMPER INT. MOVIE THEATER - DAY WILLY WONKA continues. The “PURE IMAGINATION” song plays off-screen. Fez is now chewing a piece of bubble gum. As the song’s first three chimes sound, he blows a bubble. On the second three chimes, he sucks the bubble back in his mouth. He repeats this pattern two more times, the bubble getting larger and larger each time, until... CUT TO: The bubble blows up, becoming a pink BUMPER. FEZ (v.o.): Ai! FADE TO: INT. ICE SHACK - EVENING The shack is even dirtier looking on the inside, with various pieces of fishing gear and winter clothing adorning the rough walls. Benches surround three sides of a square cut in the ice. Eric and Donna share the right bench, while Jackie sits on the center one. Eric has a fishing line in the water. ERIC: (flat) Boy, ice fishing’s fun. Don’t you just love it here, Donna? DONNA: Oh, Eric... it doesn’t matter where we are. It’s being together that makes it fun. ERIC: You’d rather be anywhere else, wouldn’t you? DONNA: Literally anywhere. You know me so well. ERIC: Eskimo kiss! They start nuzzling noses. Jackie looks on in disgust. JACKIE: What the hell is with you two today? Eric drapes an arm around Donna, and they both smile at Jackie. ERIC: Oh, didn’t Kelso tell you? We’re the... (with Donna) Perfect couple. JACKIE: Yeah - perfectly nauseating! ERIC: Well, if you don’t like what you see in here, missy, there’s some beautiful scenery and a wind chill near 10 just waiting for you outside. JACKIE: At least you’re better company than Michael. God, can you believe that idiot? Who drags all their friends to small, smelly shack like this? I don’t even think we can fit everyone in here! ERIC: (flat) Oh, no. How could Kelso make such a terrible mistake? Jackie pouts and looks at the door. JACKIE: What’s keeping Steven? ERIC: Oh, a little worried about “Steven,” are we? Donna swats his chest playfully, and he withdraws his arm from her shoulder. DONNA: Jackie, we were talking earlier how it’s a little strange you didn’t have anything to say after your date with Hyde. JACKIE: I didn’t think there was anything to say. I mean, at the time, I thought it was the most romantic moment of my life. Steven was jealous, he defended my honor, he took me out... but when we got to the kiss, there just wasn’t anything there. ERIC: Wait, so - Hyde can’t french? Well, that is just so good to know. JACKIE: It wasn’t that, idiot. Steven said he didn’t feel anything either... but only after I said I didn’t feel anything. And just now, when I asked him if he was cold, he said it again. But not like he really didn’t feel anything. More like he was upset. ERIC: Jackie, to be fair, we’re sitting in a shack we were told was a cabin, with a trash can just outside that’s going to be our toilet and bath for the whole weekend. “Upset” covers pretty much everyone right now. JACKIE: Oh my God... oh my God, Donna! What if Steven did feel something? And he just covered it up because he’s vulnerable and afraid and thinks no one would ever love him because he’s so poor? Steven! She rises and starts for the door, but Donna reaches out to take her sleeve. Jackie sits back down. DONNA: Okay, Jackie, slow down. Ever since you and Kelso broke up, you’ve been all over the place with guys. JACKIE: But Donna, I have to talk to Steven. What if - DONNA: Listen, Jackie. Okay, so maybe you go talk to him, but I’m just saying – maybe some time alone would be good for you. ERIC: Yeah, Jackie. At least until you find your... (puts his arm back around Donna) Perfect couple. DONNA: (laughs) Yeah. (beat) And, you know. After that, too. Sometimes. ERIC: What do you mean? DONNA: Well, Eric, I love you, but I need some time for me too. ERIC: Yeah, but that’s not what you’re talking about. You’re talking about time to yourself as in, not being with anyone. Are you saying you’d want a break from... from us? DONNA: Eric, it’s not a big deal. I mean, you need some time to yourself too. It’s not like we go everywhere together. We don’t go to the bathroom together. ERIC: (voice breaking) Well, we’ll have to up here, lady! We don’t have a choice! CUT TO: INT. VAN - EVENING Concurrent with the previous scene. A CIRCLE is in progress, starting on Hyde. HYDE: Man, Kelso, I am so happy I’m not in your shoes right now. Every part of your plan - the trip, the cabin, copying Forman - has backfired. This was such a good way to blow that poker money! Pan to Kelso. KELSO: Jackie just doesn’t know how much fun ice fishing is. I was out here for four days with my uncle once. He fell in the ice, lost all his fish, and woke up a hibernating bear. I laughed my ass off! And I’m tired of everyone ragging on the shack. It’s cozy. Pan to Hyde. HYDE: Kelso, “cozy” is sharing a bed, or a couch, or the back seat of a Lincoln. If you want to get down and dirty in a place that’s down and dirty, you gotta be up-front about it. Pan to Kelso. KELSO: You’re just not thinking about what you can do when you throw a cot over the ice hole and... wait. Jackie drives her dad’s Lincoln... Pan to Hyde. HYDE: Yeah, well, that’s... whatever. Look, Kelso - why do you even wanna do this, man? You’re still with Laurie, and Jackie’s moving on. Seeing other people. And some of them are pretty cool. Can’t you just give her a break? Pan to Kelso. KELSO: Man, it’s just not the same with Laurie. I mean, I know Jackie. I understand Jackie. And... wait. You’re one of the cool guys who saw Jackie! The Circle is broken. Hyde and Kelso stare at each other from opposite ends of the back of the van. HYDE: What? KELSO: Yeah, you took her on that date on Veteran’s Day! HYDE: No I didn’t. KELSO: You so did! And you’re keeping me in here, when I could be in there doing it! HYDE: You moron! Did you forget Forman and Donna are in there? KELSO: You did it with her in the Lincoln, didn’t you? Man, you don’t do that with another guy’s girl! That was where we used to do it! HYDE: We didn’t do it! And Jackie’s not “your girl” anymore! KELSO: Well, is she yours? HYDE: She’s nobody’s, man! She said it herself, the kiss meant nothing! KELSO: (gasps) You’re dead, Hyde! Kelso launches himself across the van at Hyde, and the two begin wrestling. Hyde strikes Kelso in the head right as the van begins to rock violently. The boys stop their fight, look at each other, and bolt for the exit. CUT TO: EXT. ICE SHACK - EVENING The door to the shack opens, and Eric, Donna, and Jackie spill out just as Hyde and Kelso leap out of the back of the van. Hyde’s sunglasses are crooked and he holds his right hand in his left. Kelso has his right hand over his right eye. The cracking sound continues. ERIC: You guys, what happened? KELSO: I don’t know. All of a sudden, the van just started shaking! HYDE: “All of a sudden?” You jumped me, you tool! DONNA: Uh...guys? Everyone turns to watch as Kelso’s van slowly sinks into the ice. Kelso looks horrified, while the others seem torn between anger and schadenfreude. A splash of water shoots up as the van begins sinking quicker. Everyone takes a step back. Kelso looks around pleadingly, to no avail. The van disappears beneath the water. HYDE: Man, this master plan just keeps getting better and better. For me. JACKIE: (to Kelso) Michael, what “master plan?” KELSO: Who cares, Jackie? I’m losing my van! Jackie pouts at Kelso as he stares at the hole where his van used to be. Hyde rubs his right hand, and Eric and Donna glare at each other. FADE TO BLACK COMMERCIAL BUMPER INT. ICE SHACK - NIGHT Later that night. Donna sits on the right bench alone, while Jackie and Hyde share the left bench. Donna has her arms crossed, and Jackie watches while Hyde holds a cold beer can to the knuckles of his right hand. Someone bangs on the door. KELSO (v.o.): Okay guys, I’m getting really tired of being kicked out of my shack! No one even looks up. ERIC (v.o.): Donna? Honey? I think this is enough alone time for one night, okay? DONNA: (stands) Can it, you dill holes! She sits back down. JACKIE: God, how could Michael think this would win me back? After all the crap he did, it’d take a ski trip to Aspen before I’d even consider letting him touch me again. HYDE: You mean you’d consider it at all? JACKIE: (beat) No. Why, do you care? HYDE: Whatever. They look away from each other. Another knock comes to the door. ERIC (v.o.): Okay, we’re gonna go for help, but just so you know - Kelso’s already talking about sharing warmth, and I don’t know how long this walk is, so you just think about that during your alone time, missy! Donna, Jackie, and Hyde all share looks of disgust. CUT TO: INT. FORMAN LIVING ROOM - NIGHT Kitty paces behind the couch nervously while RED sits in his chair, reading the paper. Laurie enters from the stairs. LAURIE: Alright, I’m here. Let’s get this over with. She throws herself down on the couch. KITTY: Good evening to you too. Honey, we feel that you need some direction in your life. RED: (not looking up) And by we, she means her. Kitty scowls at Red before turning back to Laurie. KITTY: Laurie, you have no future ahead of you, and you have nothing in your life right now. Just look at how you spent today. You sat around, watched TV, and drank all your father’s beer. RED: (looks up) And in the future, Laurie - always save one beer for Daddy. LAURIE: (to Kitty) Look, will you get off my back? I have a plan for my future, all right? Find a guy who’s loaded and get married. KITTY: You? Married? I think you left out the part about the unexpected pregnancy and the quickie divorce for your fiancé! RED: See, Kitty? She has it all worked out. She’ll find someone who’s nice, and... not Kelso. Someone who can take care of her. LAURIE: Exactly! (beat) But - Daddy, I could have a career of my own if I wanted, right? RED: (beat) Well, sure. I just don’t want you to set yourself up for... like what happened at the college. If you set the bar too high, the fall might be... you’re just so pretty! KITTY: Oh, I give up. She storms upstairs. Red stands. RED: Kitty, wait! (to Laurie) Here’s five dollars. He slips her a five and runs after his wife. Laurie stares at the money and sighs. The doorbell rings. Laurie stands and crosses to the door. She opens it to reveal Fez, his face and hair a sticky pink mess of bubble gum. LAURIE: What the hell happened to you? FEZ: Please don’t laugh. They all laughed. The audience, the usher, the ticket boy... even the Oompa-Loompas seemed to mock me with their doompaty-doo-doo. Laurie bites her finger to keep back a laugh. FEZ (cont’d): I cannot get the sticky out! Help me, please? LAURIE: (shrugs) Well, at least someone’s day sucks worse than mine. Get in here. She takes Fez by the shoulder and pulls him inside. She struggles to get her hand free. Once she does, she lightly pokes him in the back with one finger to guide him into the kitchen. CUT TO: INT. ICE SHACK - NIGHT Donna stands and looks out the window. Hyde and Jackie still share the left bench. Hyde now drinks his beer, while Jackie holds his right hand and examines his knuckles. JACKIE: What I don’t understand, Steven, is why you’d even come on this stupid trip if you didn’t care about what Michael was up to. HYDE: Have you been sleeping? Gilligan screws up less than Kelso. This is prime-time entertainment here - with beer. He holds up his can and takes a sip. JACKIE: Then why did you keep Michael outside instead of watching him try something with me? And – (holds up Hyde’s hand) What were you two fighting about in the van? HYDE: (beat) Boy, Forman’s sure been gone a long time, huh, Donna? DONNA: Yeah. I hope he’s okay. But what did he have to get so worked up for? I’m with him. I love him. Why can’t he see that “time alone” for me doesn’t mean “time broken up from him?” HYDE: Come on, Donna. Give him a break. Forman’s still in shock you’re even with him. So just ‘cause he’s a little insecure, you leave him out there with Kelso? I don’t know what that guy meant by “sharing warmth,” but whatever it is, Forman’s not gonna like it. DONNA: (laughs) Okay, maybe that was a little much. (looks back to window) I wish they’d get back soon. JACKIE: (to Hyde) And what about your insecurities, Steven? Did you or did you not feel something after our date? HYDE: Does it matter? You didn’t feel anything. JACKIE: Well... HYDE: 'Well?' What do you mean, 'well?' You're gonna tell me you did feel something now? JACKIE: (beat) Ugh, I don’t know anymore! Everything is a mess! Michael’s still after me, Fez was after me, I was after you but you didn’t want me, then I thought I didn’t feel anything with you and you said you didn’t either but I think you did, and Donna says I should take a break and be alone even though I don’t want to be, and I’m wet and hungry and I hate the smell of dead fish! Jackie throws Hyde’s hand away, screams, and buries her face in her hands. Hyde turns to look at her. HYDE: All right, fine, Jackie. You wanna know? I feel... He looks to Donna, who shakes her head. HYDE (cont’d): I feel... I feel like Donna’s right, man. All this crap with Kelso and Fez and... forget it, man. Take some time for yourself. Donna gives a small nod. Jackie looks to Hyde. JACKIE: Is that all you feel? HYDE: No... I feel like I busted my hand on Kelso’s head. Donna laughs as Hyde bends down to put his hand on the ice. CUT TO: INT. FORMAN LIVING ROOM - NIGHT Red leads Kitty back down the stairs. RED: Now, try not to worry so much, Kitty. Laurie’s just our little girl, after all. KITTY: She was a little girl ten years ago, Red. She is a woman, and that woman is going to end up with a beer gut and gout. Red sighs. He takes Kitty over to the couch, and they both sit down. Laurie bursts in from the kitchen. LAURIE: (to Kitty) Okay, look. The reason I haven’t done anything with my life is because I didn’t know what I wanted to do. KITTY: Well, sweetie, the post office has a dental plan that’s - LAURIE: Shhh! But earlier tonight, something happened that made me realize my passion: hair! KITTY: (beat) The musical? LAURIE: No! (she tugs on her hair) Hair! Look! She steps to the right of the kitchen door and holds out her hands in presentation. Fez steps out, with a short, closely-cropped hairstyle. All trace of gum is gone. He stands with his hands on his hips and a very satisfied expression. LAURIE (cont’d): Fez had an accident, and I fixed it! And when I thought about it, I could see that this is where all my talents were! Mom, Daddy - I’m going to beauty school! KITTY: This isn’t something you do through the mail, is it? LAURIE: No. It’s a real school! KITTY: Oh. Well... yay! She starts applauding. RED: Congratulations, sweetheart! LAURIE: Thanks, Daddy! (to Fez) Come on, Fez. Let me practice a manicure on you, and I’ll introduce you to my easy friend Susanne. Fez grins, and lets Laurie usher him back into the kitchen. RED: So, Kitty, what do you think? KITTY: Eh. RED: Yeah. He turns on the TV, and they settle down on the couch. CUT TO: INT. ICE SHACK - NIGHT Everyone is still in their same places. A knock sounds at the door. Donna hurries to unlock it. Eric is waiting outside, his cheeks and nose red with the cold and frost caked in his hair. DONNA: Oh my God. Are you all right? ERIC: Oh, yeah. Three-mile walk to the nearest rest stop, three miles back, snow, wind chill, Kelso trying to cuddle the whole way. No big deal. Donna cups his head in her hands and kisses him. DONNA: Eric, I’m sorry. ERIC: (beat) Me too. (gestures over his shoulder) One of the truckers offered us a ride. He’s waiting outside. DONNA: My hero. ERIC: Perfect couple? They share another Eskimo kiss, gather up their things, and head outside. Jackie and Hyde stand. As Jackie collects her bag, Hyde takes his jacket off and puts it around her. She looks at him. HYDE: (shrugs) You looked kind of cold. JACKIE: Thank you. She briefly places a hand on his cheek. They get their things and head outside. CUT TO: EXT. ICE SHACK - NIGHT Kelso is standing right by the doorway of the shack as Hyde and Jackie leave. He notices Hyde’s coat around Jackie, and that the two are walking closely together and smiling at one another. He gasps in shock. FADE TO BLACK CREDITS INT. FORMAN BASEMENT - NIGHT Fez, in his new haircut with Eric’s bathrobe over his clothes and Red’s hat in his hands, dances around the basement while “I’VE GOT A GOLDEN TICKET” plays on the record player. He uses a pool cue as a cane. RECORD (aud. only): I never dreamed that I would climb Over the moon in ecstasy But nevertheless, it’s there that I’m shortly about to be ‘Cause I’ve got a golden ticket I’ve got a golden chance to make my way And with a golden ticket, it’s a golden day! END.

#z's fics #that 70s show #zenmasters #jackie x hyde #fan fiction #fan script #zen3to5

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