#also kind of feel like the lyrics are more dean but...

[r3medialch8os]

so since u guys liked that i did this with remedial chaos theory i will now also be doing this for epidemiology.

the most incredible thing about this episode is that it is in fact Not merely an homage like most concept episodes are; it actually happens. a zombie epidemic For Real takes place at greendale. it's not a gimmick or a game or a way to frame the plot. the actual conflict is derived from the fact that people are zombies and the study group need to outrun them/turn them back. how often can you say that a sitcom incorporates a storyline like this and sincerely pulls it off? never.

the emotional tension in this episode is framed around troy/abed/jeff and the dichotomy of being a nerd vs. being cool, which respectively get attributed the qualities of caring about the people around you who have turned into zombies or wanting to run and escape from the zombies without trying to help. abed and jeff's costumes are both pointed out in the beginning receiving clear denotations of 'lame' and 'too cool to care' and therefore their positions in the conflict are cemented. the episode has a push-pull with troy being the moving factor, having to decide what he thinks is most important. he gets swayed in the beginning by two girls rejecting him over his costume and jeff mentioning how expensive his suit is. he changes from his ripley costume into a 'sexy dracula'. abed spends the whole episode trying to get troy back to his side, even saying "what defines a nerd? committing to an awesome halloween costume with your best friend?" troy is eventually 'turned back' into his nerdy self (perhaps a zombie metaphor itself, keeping in tone with the theme of the episode) because jeff cares more about his suit getting dirty than surviving the herd of zombies.

a crucial part of the episode is that it is soundtracked by abba music playing from the dean's playlist. now, who would i be if i didn't investigate significant music choices connected to scenes? first up and probably the most important one: s.o.s. is used in the background of a scene where abed confronts troy about changing costumes. troy insults him and walks away. the lyrics are: 'you seemed so far away, though you were standing near. you made me feel alive, but something died, i fear. i really tried to make it up, i wish I understood. what happened to our love? it used to be so good.' next; gimme gimme gimme plays right before the scene where chang and shirley hook up. another insane choice is at the end when troy is fighting the zombies. the whole sequence has mamma mia playing in the background Faintly. then when troy eventually gets to abed and has to fight him, the music comes in much louder with the lyrics: 'here i go again, my, my, how can i resist you?', which i think fits perfectly. the ending song fernando has the lyrics 'there was something in the air that night', both referencing the thermostat changing the zombies back and the fact that it was just an incredibly weird fucking night.

troy is dressed as ellen ripley and also kind of acts as the ripley of this episode. his journey in this as being the sole survivor and the one to eventually save greendale adheres to a common science fiction model where a life-threatening force is faced against the protagonists and they fall off in degrees, resulting in one person being left to mend everything. here specifically, it seems to mirror ripley's journey in alien (1979) as it starts with a crew that eventually gets cut down leaving only her. i thought that was really cool.

more alien tidbits, but the jumping cat scene is also inspired by it. jones the cat is an imporant figure in the first alien movie. in various scenes, members of the crew will go looking for him, then get ambushed by the titular alien and subsequently killed. it is a minor homage to the movie through yet another subtle reference. the bit is also parodying jumpscares in horror movies in general, and how they are used to cheaply amplify the tension. anyways, it's quite the multilayered joke because it also really works out of context as a bizarre comedic moment.

troy and abed's scene in the basement pays homage to princess leia and han solo's scene in the empire strikes back. the conversation in the film takes place just before han is frozen alive in carbonite by darth vader. not knowing if he’ll survive, he kisses leia, only to be torn away from her by stormtroopers. she says 'i love you,' and as he descends into chamber, han replies, 'i know.' an undeniably romantic moment, maybe one of the most memorable ones ever, is applied to troy and abed who have held reign over the emotional core of the plot for the entire episode. it's pretty special that such an iconic moment is given to them, i feel like the creators of the show wouldn't just do this sparingly. it also perfectly resolves their conflict as troy makes such a vulnerable statement and abed assuring him that he already knew, validating their bond once again.

more on troy and abed, it is pretty amazing realizing the emotional implications tied to how dire the situation was. everyone in this episode was under the direct threat of Not Surviving, and still abed sacrificed himself for troy. he knew this was for real. he couldn't be sure if they were going to make it. but i think he had enough faith in troy to aid in his escape. it's very touching. further, it's incredible that troy is willing to fight all the zombies (all his friends) but when it comes time to punch abed, he refuses to do it. he's struck by the force of their friendship, mumbling 'we're friends' defeated before eventually succumbing to his bite.

troy saving the school by controlling the temperature; nicely setting up his further plot with the ac repair school.

him being the one to escape and abed saying 'be the first black man to make it to the end' subverts the common horror trope of 'black dude dies first'. a playful way of keeping up with the horror movie theme of the episode.

also ironically this episode, which features the song mamma mia by abba, sets up a plotline in season two about shirley not knowing who the father of her new baby is, which is functionally the plot of the movie mamma mia!, a musical based on abba's music. probably a coincidence but a pretty funny one.

at the end when the army arrives, they ask the dean about witnesses. when he says he is the only witness, one of the guards reaches into his jacket, suggesting that he's pulling a gun intended to kill the dean and get rid of the witness. when they notice everyone in the school is still alive, they abandon this plan and go for 'scenario b'. kind of dark but i laugh every time that scene happens.

anyways that's all i could pull from my brain crevices for now. this episode is a genuine masterpiece, it will never ever get old and will remain to be one of the most unique sitcom episodes ever created.

[pagannatural]

2.15 Tall Tales

-once again we have an earth-shattering revelation episode followed by silly sibling hijinks episode. Last episode Dean confirmed out loud he would rather die than kill Sam and that he is devoted body and soul to saving him. Now he is eating sloppily from a takeout container on Sam’s bed. Fascinating ecosystem.

-so Dean is on Sam’s bed. He likes hanging out and making a show of being annoying while lying on Sam’s bed. He must want Sam’s attention because it seems territorial. He’s licking his fingers and smacking his lips and being as loud and expansive as possible. Maybe Dean is reclaiming Sam in some way after he was possessed last episode by laying claim on his space.

-Sam asks Dean to turn down his music so Dean turns it up, and the song is actually so fucking perfect look at the lyrics

I could really just highlight the entire song. It’s about someone avoiding talking to the subject and the subject feeling out of their mind lonely about it.

It sets the tone for the whole episode and adds meaning to why they’re getting on each other’s nerves so badly. They’re avoiding talking about the big thing on their minds and subsequently picking at other things and at each other. Again, they’re lonely when there’s distance between them and they don’t feel they belong to each other.

-Sam and Dean recount their investigation into the case so far to Bobby. It’s a storytelling device that allows us to see into the characters’ perspectives and the ways in which they are unreliable narrators.

Sam recalls Dean being a sloppy drunk and basically asking him to have a foursome with him, a girl at the bar, and her sister. He recalls Dean leering at him and wiggling his eyebrows and Starla drunkenly hanging off of Dean, doing the same. It very much seems as though Dean and Starla are suggesting a small, incestuous orgie.

Sam turns up his nose because Dean is drunk and he thinks the girl is trashy and tanked. His judgment toward her is palpable and betrays his jealousy. It’s also a glimpse into the way he perceives Dean’s attempts at setting him up—he recognizes Dean’s interest in him sexually, he remembers when this happens, but he doesn’t think it’s serious because he thinks it’s about the girls rather than about him. Dean is a himbo in his story, kind of without intention or feeling.

Dean, however, describes hitting it off with a woman who is a classy grad student. He remembers Sam being extremely feminine and prissy and confronting him about making out with a woman like he’s Dean’s nagging girlfriend.

Trying to set Sam up is not a part of his story, instead he tells it like he’s the center of attention and Sam is jealous. It makes me wonder if Dean is self conscious about how he treats Sam, how he often involves him in his sex life. Later in the series Dean is described as “needy” more than once in the context of his relationship with Sam as a way to taunt both of them. It’s interesting that Dean would feel shame about needing Sam, whereas Sam’s shame is never really about needing Dean. This is one of the dynamics in their relationship that tends to operate consistently in the background for the entire show, and I see it as a birth order thing. Dean as the older sibling feels responsible for Sam, so he can’t be clingy and unhinged the way that Sam sometimes is without really thinking anything of it.

Dean also portrays Sam as feminine. Like, flamboyant. It’s probably easier for Dean to focus on Sam’s sexuality and make fun of him for being gay rather than take him seriously for being in love with him. So Dean is doing the same thing Sam is doing, dismissing Sam’s intentions and chalking his behavior up to something else.

Both stories are defensive in their own ways: Dean paints himself as totally uninterested in Sam. Sam paints Dean as indiscriminate and careless in his attentions but wanting Sam to join in. Common elements are Dean’s attention being on someone else and Sam being jealous. The variables are the why’s.

-Bobby: you’re bickering like an old married couple

Dean: no see married couples can get divorced

Okay so you’re not like an old married couple—not because you’re not married or because you’re not a couple, but because your connection is more permanent? Okay!

The brothers say they’re more like conjoined twins which is wild because regular siblings get on each other’s nerves plenty but they are not regular siblings and that description is not enough for them so they describe themselves as physically part of each other. Over and over we’re told that actually they are not “just brothers” like Sam said in Playthings.

-Dean was watching porn on Sam’s laptop. He eats in Sam’s bed and jerks off with Sam’s laptop and it’s like he’s a dog getting his scent on everything Sam touches.

-Sam gives Dean the sassiest look anyone’s ever given anyone

and I’m including it in this analysis because it’s giving major fem vibes.

-the alien story is actually super fucked up and horrifying, although it’s clearly played as a joke. The guy says he was probed and forced to slow dance. The brothers seem to be telling this particular story together in a shared perspective, because it’s already embarrassing for them to hear and talk about, and underneath the bickering they respect and understand each other.

-the next interview is Dean’s telling, and in it Sam is acting emotional and over-sympathetic and Dean says “you’re always saying pansy stuff like that.” Sam is once again caricatured as feminine and clingy. Dean puts a comforting hand on Sam’s shoulder and says It’s okay, and Sam’s face crumples. So in Dean’s retelling, he’s Sam’s shoulder to cry on when Sam is over emotional.

- Dean is reasoning through the connections in the cases and says the punishments are almost poetic “or actually it’d be more like a limerick” and sorry was anyone going to talk about Dean’s knowledge and interest in poetry?? I LOVE poetry but I didn’t technically know what the fuck a limerick was (so I googled it) and it’s a short poem that’s funny or silly in content. Dean is well-read. It would make SO much sense for him to be well-read because when he was younger he longed for more of a connection to the world outside of Sam and John and being locked in motel rooms, and reading would have been a good way for him to do that. He seems to enjoy fiction and characters he can relate to. It probably makes him feel less isolated.

-The brothers’ arguments this episode reveal such interesting glimpses into their life. Sam says “I don’t lose things” which would have been important as a child living out of motels trying to maintain his grades and seem normal. He probably learned as a child that he can’t just forget his things somewhere and go back to look for it later or call people he knows. If he leaves something in a motel room, that’s it, it’s gone forever, they will never go back and no one is finding and mailing it to him. I wonder if that’s also why he’s so particular about Dean not touching his stuff, because he had so little that was his. He probably got Dean’s hand-me-downs, and he had to share Dean himself with their dad which he famously hated.

Sam also says that Dean’s socks are in the sink. The only reason I can imagine for Dean’s socks being in the sink rather than just like, Dean leaving his dirty socks on the floor, is that he must’ve been washing them in the sink. Do they hand wash their clothing in motel sinks? It must be more convenient than going to a laundromat sometimes.

Sam also comments on Dean’s food going bad in the fridge. I read a whole essay on how this connects to Dean’s food insecurity, which makes sense to me. It also could be that he’s just kinda messy and doesn’t throw away his gross old food. I think Dean tends to get messier the more stressed out he is. He’s one of those people you can tell how he’s doing mentally by how his space looks— if he’s angry he’s breaking shit, stressed he’s looking worse for wear, happy he’s got everything neat and clean and starts nesting. Not to mention taking care of the Impala, his and Sam’s childhood home, is his pride and joy and one of the only mainstays in his life. His self care is very visible.

He is stressed as shit right now. Maybe eating greasy food on Sam’s bed is a cry for help and wanting Sam to talk to him about everything but not knowing how to bring it up.

-they fight over some money. It’s really something.

They are rolling around in bed grunting. Sam initiated the physicality of this fight by tackling Dean. It seems like a shared telling of what happened, and a good time to remember that the brothers have told wildly different stories and are both trying to make themselves seem as normal, cool, and under control as possible in these stories. And yet still they’re telling about the time they were rolling around and grunting in bed passionately. I’ll just leave that there.

-Sam pauses on the rush to the car with Bobby after driving a stake through the trickster’s heart. He starts apologizing to Dean, sincerity on his features, and Dean picks up on his intention and assures Sam “me too.” They gaze at each other lovingly over the roof of the Impala until Bobby interrupts and asks them to move it along.

-episode theme is perception, deception, and things not being what they appear. The trickster (Gabriel) casts illusions and the format of the narrative highlights how differently Sam and Dean can see the same story. They’re not seeing each other clearly, and they’re hiding from themselves, and it makes them lonely.

[sounknownvoid]

Sam's "puppy dog eyes" are just him,hurt or ashamed - vulnerable?

We all know (&love) sammy's "puppy dog eyes" - & thanks to dean, we've been told of its amazing powers of persuasion and influence on people... I mean look at the evidence:

How could you possibly say no to this face?... I certainly couldn't ...but maybe that's the point - hear me out..

In "Scarecrow", Dean waxes lyrical about how his brother could give you this "look" and people would just "buy into" whatever it was he was saying at the time...

Elsewhere too, it's remarked upon, by Dean, about how no one can resist the power of the "puppy dog eyes" - thing that strikes me though is the language used - its almost framed like its a "manipulative tactic", something that Sam deliberately uses to his advantage somehow and is a weapon in his personal arsenal to disarm and influence people....ie "mere mortals" - the language is almost ominous and sinister...from dean.

Similarly when he talks about how sam is the one more easily able to coax whoever they're interviewing on cases to trust them, persuade them gently with his demeanour to divulge information that they'd perhaps otherwise not have shared...again framed almost like a "secret power" of Sam's....by Dean.

But then, watch the actual show and the actual times those 'puppy dog eyes' are shown by sam - he'd usually hurt or bewildered or ashamed and guilty and scared - yes, even soulless sam coz y'know he was still an actual person... if it IS a tactic it usually seems to be to try and get other person to stop hurting him or to show that he's hurting (the point of facial expressions) in hope the said person will stop - which BTW, note how he blanks in later seasons instead and stops showing his vulnerability any more?...

and whenever he's been able to convince people to share information and to trust them - it's been because he employed EMPATHY n understanding and cared about the situations these "normal" people found themselves in...ie he simply treated these folks as normal human beings caught in a bad situation and showed them some consideration,thoughtfulness amd kindness.....and that's all.

Contrast to whenever dean has been on his own (or when soulless with him instead) - he has a hard edge to him and gives off some pretty angst n downright scary vibes- not too mention, he's usually pretty suspicious or scoffing at the "civvies" in his demeanour - prolonged contact with sam has taught him to moderate himself/his approach but it's not his "natural" state with folks...

And that brings me to the point I'm trying to make on this post...

What if dean, struggling with his own "complex feelings" and being unable to ever deny sam anything coz of his own love n conditioning reads Sam's wounded look as a manipulation- a way to explain away his own "weakness" ( coz remember in john & dean's world vulnerability & love is a weakness is not what a "man" does) - ie "sammy made me do it with his bewitching eyes" instead of "I love my brother so much I can't deny him anything" is more palatable to dean.... and also, because his feelings frightened him and he's scared of the (perceived) hold sam has on him - he thinks sam MUST know of his effect on dean and MUST be using it on purpose....because conflict/threat&it's defusal & disarmament of said threat or weaponising their tools/themselves, is what they do.

And then, to further justify it to himself, he points to the interviews with civilians and how sam is able to persuade them too - so it's not just him, samm DOES have these "powers of persuasion"-bordering on ahem, the supernatural...but it's just sam being a decent human to these folks...

Just like everything else Sam's been blamed for or, something ominous being made of something he does or is - maybe those "famous" puppy-dog eyes of his are just sam looking actually, genuinely hurt,wounded,betrayed? - but it's so much easier to deflect and dismiss as a manipulative tactic so that no reparations or even acknowledgements need to be made and so no accountability required to be taken - which is after all, "dean special power"?....

it strikes me everytime, how much of our views of sam are molded and informed by dean's POV in the narrative of supernatural....

I'm beginning to wonder if we've ever actually seen sam as he was in the story at all - from an objective standpoint, let alone his own POV (which I'm sure would be far darker of himself and also inaccurate?)...

[r44d]

song analysis for bashslash 💗 ( for @shesttyy )

~ all of the girls you loved before (taylor swift; single: a.o.t.g.y.l.b)

; this song is about Taylor saying she is better than all of the exes of her current partner ( lyrics : “every woman that you knew brought you here. I wanna teach you how forever feels”. “All of the girls you loved before. But I love you more” ). it's a love letter to them. A love letter to all of those who have shaped her lover to who they are now, and how they love her as a whole. ( lyrics : “Your past and mine are parallel lines. Stars all aligned and they intertwined. And taught you. The way you call me, “baby.” Treat me like a lady.” ). Unlike any of her other songs, she feels security in her relationship instead of jealousy. This relationship is secure, and all of her partner’s exes brought them together. ( lyrics : “Every dead-end street led you straight to me” ). This song was believed to be about Joe Alwyn, as at the time of release they were going strong (7 year anniversary).

: tying back in with the idea of Dean having a girlfriend in Chicago or many ex girlfriends, they definitely shaped his view on love. They chiseled away at him in ways that were both good and bad. Although he doesn’t know how because he’s never had a healthy view on love and romantic feelings. The relationships were never secure, nor were they showing him how forever feels. [ However Dean definitely has the mindset of calling his girls babe/baby. And it does carry on when he gets with Fulton. (“If I had a girlfriend, I’d call her babe… cause she’s a babe. But I have Fulton (a boyfriend) and that’s like the same thing right? It’s still a romantic attraction, just different genders so… I’m gonna call him babe”). He just likes seeing Fulton blush -_- ]. But with Fulton it’s completely different. It’s easy in a way that’s still challenging because easy is boring. He likes the challenge, he likes Fulton. He likes how easy it is with him when they are being all tender and soft, it doesn’t feel like a chore for him, but he also likes the challenge of their arguments. Don’t get him wrong he HATES arguing with Fulton [loves arguing though], but he kinda just likes the combativeness because he’s so quick to it. He thinks Fulton fighting back is pretty hot (because Fulton isn’t like that, not all the time. He’s gentle and sweet and kind, but he’d throw punches at anyone who lays a finger on his teammates. But it also takes him a lot of pushing to be thrown over the edge. He does try to work it out or calm everything down before resorting to pushing and fighting and yelling). Being with Fulton is like breathing, it's like charging head first into a brawl out on the ice, it’s like laying in warm sand on a sunny day at the beach. It shows him how forever feels.

: the lyric “your past and mine are parallel lines” really does fit with them in the sense of their trauma.

↳ Fulton has a traumatic familial relationship: he’s in and out of foster homes, his bio parents weren’t all that great, although somehow he will end up back in the care of his father. (His bio mom was an angel. He looks the most like her, he has her hair, her nose, her eyes. He has her love of reading, her love for animals, her love for gardening; well learning about flowers. His dad, on the other hand, is an alcoholic abusive deadbeat. He didn’t want a kid, he wastes away on the couch spending all his money on beer or out finding something to hit (it used to be Fulton, that’s how he got the scar on his cheek. He’s bigger than him now, and can fight back. The only thing Fulton got from his dad was his love for hockey, his broad shoulders and some of his anger). He’s been in the foster system, he’s been to institutions because people on the streets believed he had issues and that he might become a danger to those around him (for sticking up for kids on the streets, being quiet and having a mean slap shot). He believes he’s unloveable, and those thoughts were put into his head by his father figures. He hides who he is, he keeps to himself, he’s afraid to love, he’s afraid to feel. He’s afraid to get hurt again… by someone he loves. (He started smoking weed to distract himself).

{D3} Dean hurt him by leaving, The Ducks hurt him by choosing to stay at Eden Hall instead of fighting for their name, Charlie hurt him by saying he isn’t needed.

{D1, D2, D3} He was hurt by Bombay constantly leaving and him constantly giving the Ducks up for anything else, giving him up. He felt as though, like Charlie, Bombay was a fatherly figure to him. All of his father’s walked out on him, or hated him, it felt like he was walking away too.

↳ Dean’s familial relationship is much of the same. They don’t love him, and much like everyone else in his life, they only notice him when he fails, when he makes a complete fool out of himself. When he acts like a big jerk, a doofus, an idiot. They are highly religious people, who forced religion on him the moment he was born. They made him go to church, Sunday school, they forced him to read the Bible whenever he did something bad. They yelled at him for his mistakes and they yelled at him for his apologies. He grew up to be tough, he was raised tough, and he grew up to rebel. Against his parents, against school administrators, and teachers, against anyone who told him he was to stupid to make it anywhere in life. He’s a guilt ridden, traumatized, child behind the iron bars around his heart. He’s a lone wolf, with no familial support, no friends, teammates in Chicago he keeps around for convenience (well now they are ex teammates), not that they ever liked him. The Ducks are different, they are good people. They are close, they banter, they support each other. That’s what they do. They are their own little found family, and Dean really doesn’t want to even think about the fact they have got to him. That they wormed their way into his heart. They make him… soft, inside, and Dean doesn’t want to let them get away with it. Fulton, maybe, he’d let get away with turning him all mushy, but the rest of them. Hell no. (He lets it happen anyways because they are the only people who care about him, who support him. And in turn he’s got their backs, maybe that’s just cause he’s their enforcer, maybe it’s something else).

(When I think of Dean Portmman’s parents, I think of John Bender from ‘The Breakfast Club’. “John Bender : [Imitating his Father] Stupid, worthless, no good, goddamn, freeloading son of a bitch. Retarded, big mouth, know-it-all, asshole, jerk. [Imitating his Mother] John Bender : You forgot ugly, lazy and disrespectful. [Father's voice] John Bender : Shut up bitch! Go fix me a turkey pot pie. [His own voice] John Bender : No dad, what about you? [Father's voice] John Bender : Fuck you. [His own voice] John Bender : No dad, what about you? [Father's voice] John Bender : Fuck you. [His own voice] John Bender : Dad, what about you? [Father's voice] John Bender : Fuck you! [Pantomimes getting punched in the face]” ).

[manygeese]

mega projecting rn, this is

PERCY JACKSON CHARACTERS AS SONGS FROM MY PLAYLIST

aka what I think they would do for karaoke, what’s they like, and what song is them coded

PERCY

What he’d do karaoke to: Beyond the Sea by Bobby Darin. Son of Poseidon thinks water songs are funny.

What song he’d like the most: either Angry Young Man or Allentown, both by Billy Joel. Hard hitting lyrics and instrumentals to match.

What song he has the vibes of: Kodachrome by Paul Simon. Silly, jaunty, but kind of soothing at the same time. Reminds you of your childhood, almost.

ANNABETH

What she’d do karaoke to: Stand by Me by Ben E. King. She’s a romantic lady, what can I say? She’d totally be winking at Percy when she sings the chorus.

What song she’d like the most: Arthur’s Theme (Best That You Can Do) by Christopher Cross. She has classical vibes and this is the closest thing to classical as I have on my playlist. Also, I feel like she’d love jazz and this is jazz-adjacent.

What song she has the vibes of: She’s Always A Woman by Billy Joel. Sentimental, cool, but still oozing with emotion.

JASON

What he’d do karaoke to: Total Eclipse of the Heart by Bonnie Tyler. Boy puts on a performance.

What song he’d like the most: My Way by Frank Sinatra. He feels good about himself and all the stuff he’s been through while listening to it.

What song he has the vibes of: Out of Touch by Daryl Hall & John Oates. Edgy, cool, and a bop.

PIPER

What she’d do karaoke to: Lovefool by The Cardigans. Daughter of Aphrodite thinks love songs are funny. She’s a really good singer though, so she can choose any song and still knock everybody’s socks off.

What song she’d like the most: Yesterday by the Beatles. I think she’d like sad songs (not breakup songs, more like “wallowing in self pity, wondering what happened to us” songs).

What song she has the vibes of: Thank You For the Music by ABBA. Self worth problems, putting all your value in one ability? Piper coded.

LEO

What he’d do karaoke to: Let’s Hear It for the Boy by Deniece Williams or Thank God I’m A Country Boy by John Denver. The first because he’s some sort of LGBT+ and thinks it’s funny, the second because he’s Texan and thinks it’s funny. Also Fernando by ABBA.

What song he’d like the most: Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go by Wham! He identifies with it. Also he loves the dorky Just Dance for it.

What song he has the vibes of: Telephone Line by Electric Light Orchestra. Hopeless romantic vibes right there.

HAZEL

What she’d do karaoke to: Fly Me to the Moon by Frank Sinatra. She’d eat any jazz song up, really, but this one’s got her name written all over it.

What song she’d like the most: Bad, Bad Leroy Brown by Jim Croce. It’s got that school house rock vibe that you know she’d love. And also, bar fights! Yay!

What song she has the vibes of: Put Your Records On by Corinne Bailey Rae. Happy, sends a message, gives off sunny day and Hazel vibes.

FRANK

What he’d do karaoke to: Delilah by Tom Jones. He’s belting this shit in the shower at 3 AM.

What song he’d like the most: Oh, What A Beautiful Morning by Gordon Macrae from the musical Oklahoma. He’s embarrassed to admit it, but this boy loves old Roger’s and Hammerstein musicals (The Music Man, Carousel, etc.) that go on for too long and have unnecessary songs. He thinks they’re pretty.

What song he has the vibes of: Everybody Loves Somebody by Dean Martin. Gentle giant vibes.

NICO

What he’d do karaoke to: So Long, Mom (A Song for World War III) by Tom Lehrer. He’s a sucker for old satirical songs and loves watching his friends react as he sings them.

What song he’d like the most: The Vatican Rag by Tom Lehrer. Again, because he likes satirical songs. He cried laughing the first time he heard it, having grown up in the Catholic Church (of Italy, no less).

What song he has the vibes of: Carry on Wayward Son by Kansas. Stark contrast from the earlier songs but it’s just… so Nico coded. The type of stuff you can head bang but also perform ballet to.

REYNA

What she’d do karaoke to: We Didn’t Start the Fire by Billy Joel. She memorized the whole thing and likes flexing on everybody else about it because they don’t have the guts nor the dedication.

What song she’d like the most: Fame by Irene Cara. She unwinds to this in her room after a long day. She also totally does embarrassing dances to it.

What song she has the vibes of: Leningrad by Billy Joel. A song about war, seemingly endless cycles of violence, but small victories and reconciliation.

[foolondahill17]

My top 10 fic picks from 2022

(all updated or completed in 2022, in no particular order)

This was the year of devouring content from new favorite authors. Special shoutout to @outdean and @urne-buriall . Right Where you Left Me and spirit of the west are on track to becoming new fandom classics, methinks. 

1. Right Where You Left Me by outdean (@outdean), 93,581 words, E, destiel, canonverse

 Cas comes back from the empty 10 years after his death, only to find Dean married (to a man! gasp!). Heartache ensues, but not without a heartwarming end. Warning for (spoilers!) infidelity and emotional abuse from a spouse. Last year's serial fic of Tumblr was Cheapest Room in the House, and this year's was no less beautiful and engaging. What I especially loved about this fic was the sense of community and excitement it spurred in the fandom. It was so fun logging into tumblr after every update for collective squee and memes. What's also particularly praiseworthy about this story is outdean's sense of character. Not only are Dean and Cas authentic and oh-so tangible, but so are the other cast of characters: Jack is especially endearing, but also convincingly adult and complicated. And Dean's husband, although delicious to hate, is also a little difficult to hate, too. At its heart, RWYLM is an unerringly human tale, zits and all. 

2. spirit of the west by teen_dean (@urne-buriall), 140,680 words, M, destiel, AU 

Beautifully atmospheric, at times brutal, at times gentle - this 1990's horsegirl!Dean fic is one for the ages. Dean is 18 and lonely on his father's horse farm - that is until his childhood friend, Cas, returns to town, and they quickly fall into the kind of intimacy that's titillating, tantalizing, and terrifying all at once. TW for strong themes of domestic abuse and PTSD, also homophobia and animal death. The prose is charming and lyrical. The characters are lively and full. It's the kind of writing that's so detailed and visual, you feel like a participant in the story, not just a spectator. Despite the darkness and fear in Dean's life, with Cas by his side (and a host of other lovable characters), he grows to accept love from others and for himself. This is more than a coming-of-age novel. It's also a story about hope: in the face of cruelty, there will also be unfailing kindness. 

3. so much smoke in the hall of mirrors by AreYouReady (@autisticandroids), 6,232 words, E, pre-destiel/one-sided destiel, canonverse

 Dark. Dark. Dark. But also disturbing and alluring in the best possible ways. It's season 6, and Cas is lured steadily further from the light by Crowley and the pressures of the Angelic civil war. To blow off some steam, he creates a Dean sex-doll out of living flesh. Warnings are well-listed in the tags, but include non-con voyeurism, dehumanization, and torture. Although the premise is bleak, this fic is a fascinating and believable dive into Cas's characterization pre-godhood powertrip. Well worth the read if you don't mind a little moral ambiguity with your morning wheaties. 

4. Dateverse by aeli_kindara (@gravelghosts​), 47,057 words, 3 works, E, destiel, canonverse

After the Mrs. Butters business, Dean asks Cas on a date. Warnings for typical Dean bad headspace, but there's plenty of fluff to soothe our (and Dean's) ills. aeli_kindara is an author whose careful writing perfectly suits Dean's caution as he pursues Cas and navigates a relationship within their emotional pitfalls and chaotic surroundings. What I especially admire about her writing is her use of motifs: photographs in the first story, memories in the second, and sunsets in the last. The third installment is waylaid by the events of the final few episodes of the series, but the fic seamlessly blends canon and fresh events into a believable and satisfying happy ending. Also, Dean goes to therapy! What's not to love? 

5. where black stars rise by teen_dean, (@urne-buriall), 27,770 words, T, destiel, canonverse

This case fic carves through the grand, sweeping mysteries of the universe like the Sidewinder Canyon through the desert. No specific warnings other than that very distinct, unnerving state of mind you enter while driving alone at night, darkness and pin-prick stars above you, and it feels like you're nothing but an infinitesimal speck of dust on the cusp of eternity.... Anyway, this fic follows Dean and Cas on the trail of several missing persons on a canyon trail in Arizona, unobtrusive until time and space, itself, unravels at the seams. Teen_dean plays with words and the cosmos like Play-Doh, molding an ethereal, enthralling story that rocketed up to one of my favorite fics of all time. 

6. iconography by foccacciabread (couldn’t find a tumblr), 3,578 words, G, Mary and Dean centric, canonverse

A simple enough premise: Mary finds old photographs of herself on Facebook. Cue family heartache, the punishment of lost time, and navigating old wounds. How to be a son when your mother isn't who you thought she was? How to be a mother when your child is dead but somehow still alive, but so, so changed? No warnings, but heavy angst. 

7. Dont Stop, Make It Pop by dumbassnatural (@dumbassnatural), 34,661 words, WIP, T, destiel, canonverse

Cas accidentally becomes a tik tok sensation, and Jack uses his technological and business savvy to make his dad a star. Both parts sweet and earnest, this story starts with a silly premise and takes it to surprisingly heartwarming places. No warnings other than the fact this is a WIP that hasn’t been updated since January, but it does leave off in a place that isn’t hard to extrapolate what might comes next. 

8. in present tenses by focacciabread, 31,463 words, E, destiel, canonverse

After getting Cas back from the Empty, Dean decides the smartest move to guarantee Cas doesn’t ever leave him again is to just start sleeping with him. It’s what Cas wants, right? And it won’t do any further psychic damage to Dean, right? Right? Surely it will not have any negative effects whatsoever on their relationship. Warnings for bad Dean headspace throughout. There are a couple fics with this premise floating about, but I was especially drawn to focacciabread’s evocative writing and convincing Dean internal monologue. We love a messy boy. 

9. AITA for disapproving of my brother's high sex drive? by birdsofthesoul (couldn’t find a tumblr) and PlaidIsTheBestPattern (@cacophony-of-notions), 3,907 words, T, implied destiel, canonverse

This one also made its rounds on Tumblr, so you’ve probably already read it, but it’s an absolutely delightful, only partially serious take in Dean and Sam’s Reddit Rivalry and that particular brand of moralizing found in online spaces. It does what all the best “crack taken seriously” fics do, which is gives us an amusing premise but never deviates from the voices of these characters we know so well. Very mild warning for homophobia. Also be sure to read the rest of the AITA series.

10. peace came upon me (and it leave me weak) by outdean (@outdean), 73,773 words, E, destiel, canonverse

After Cas gets taken to the empty, Dean gets sober. Cas comes back a year later. Problems ensue. This one deals seriously and carefully with addiction and alcoholism, especially heavy mistakes done under the influence. Dean has a lot of growing to do and a lot to atone for, and he isn’t let off the hook easy. Cas has his own journey as he learns to forgive Dean for passed mistakes and navigate a future life with the man he’s in love with. It’s not an easy path, and it’s not an easy story to read, but it’s well worth it. Outdean navigates serious issues with finesse and delicacy that’s wonderful to observe. 

Honorable mention: 

Pater by TaraxcumWine, (couldn’t find a tumblr),  184,366 words, E, destiel, AU

I recced this as a WIP last year, but it finished posting early in 2022. I didn’t want it to take up a spot again, but I can't help but mention it. It’s a thoughtful, intricate, and beautiful look in Dean and Cas’s relationship from their first meeting to present day. It deals with heavy themes of child abuse, past non-con, mental health issues, homophobia, etc. so tread carefully. This is especially recommended for those who liked spirit of the west or my own silver linings series, as it deals with similar themes. It’s very well worth the read despite the hefty length. 

[ravenbloodshot]

Dean (Krnb Artist) Reputation Reading

I feel like dean has a lot of "yes men" or enablers that surround him. People view him as moody and the type to act like a asshole when he doesn't get his way but people around him also excuse this aspect of him. Like if Dean walked out of a restaurant him and his friends were hanging put at bc he was in his feelings about something petty,his friends would be the type to say "ahh, someone go get him, let him know we didn't mean what we said" kind of coddling him and appeasing him. If somebody was to question why Dean acts like a child and why his friends put up with it, they would get a "boys will be boys" response

People view him as an emo, loner boy. Like a person who wants to be left alone and isn't open to new adventures or doing anything outside of his comfort zone.

I think a lot of people try to get Dean to put them on and help in their careers, but Dean doesn't help these people. And his reason may be that he doesn't know how to, he's like "man, I barely know how I did it myself". So people could view him as kind of "know-nothing artists", like an artist that may act like they know the ins and outs of what it takes to make it in the industry but in reality they don't know shit. The good thing about this is people think he's also just a naturally gifted artist, seeing as how he doesn't have the "know how" so his talents seem more organic and is respected amongst others.

People view him as a guy who uses a lot of dark humor at his own expense and others (says self depreciating and depressive jokes). But also, he's quite sensitive about ppl joking about him or teasing him (he doesn't care for this, could catch an attitude if he thinks someone's gone too far with joking about him). Like the example I gave in the beginning, he could storm out if he starts feeling a way. And he probably does that often.

People like the way he sings and also the way he speaks. He sounds very lyrical and angelic, his speech is quite lithe. People feel as if they could listen to him for hours.

Ummmm....I think Dean may have a child (an unexpected child). I was already getting a vibe that people, even in his close circles, don't see him often. And then I kept pulling, and I got the energy of a woman that loves him dearly and thinks of him as her soul mate. Then, I pulled a card called "children." I just assumed at first ppl thought he's childish and petty (which is still likely true). But the next card after called "pregnancy," this speaks for itself. The man has a secret family somewhere

That's probably why he takes so long to put out new music, preoccupied with his girl and kid.

I doubt he wants the public to know. Bc I struggled for about 2 weeks to tap into his energy. I think he was guarding himself to keep his situation quiet. I guess I should stop here then, leave him and his secrets alone

There Goes My Baby by Usher is a song that fits this reading

[heyitsme1040]

The Road Ahead [d.w]

summary : Getting ready to go on the road with Dean, the only unusual thing is that it isn’t for a hunt. Your excitement is hard to contain, having no idea where the road will take the two of you. These moments are unforgettable, so different from anything you’ve experienced with him before.   

pairings : Dean Winchester x Reader

warnings : None, (If I missed anything please let me know!)

word count : 530

AO3 (x)

a/n : The third bonus Comfortember post is here! This one is based on the alternate prompt of ‘travel’. These are just glimpses of what I imagine a road trip with Dean would be like if there wasn’t the pressure of a hunt weighing on the two of you. 

“Are we forgetting anything?” You look across the hood of Baby to Dean.

“We’ve got our bags, your camera and film, a small bag of weapons just in case, and a cooler filled with snacks and water,” Dean lists off. “What else could we need?”

“I just feel like we’re forgetting something. Did you charge your phone?”

“Sweetheart, relax. Yes, I charged my phone. I also have a battery pack just in case either of us need to recharge our phone. Anything we could have possibly forgotten can be bought.”

“You’re right,” you shake your hands out. “Sorry, I’m just nervous. And excited. They’re conflicting emotions.”

Dean walked around the hood of Baby, grabbing your hands. “Take a deep breath, you’re fine. You don’t need to worry about a thing. Everything is alright.”

You take a deep breath, nodding. You knew Dean was right. There was no reason to be worried. Everything was fine, you and Dean weren’t going on a hunt. You didn’t need to make sure you had everything. Blowing the breath out, you smile up at Dean. 

“Thank you,” you swing your linked hands. 

Dean smiles back, leaning down he opens your door. Gently guiding you in, he kisses your forehead briefly before closing your door. You watch as he strides to the driver’s side, gets in, and starts the car. 

You weren’t sure what was more enjoyable on your travels. The long stretches of open road, or seeing what the towns and cities had to offer. 

On the stretches where there was nothing, the windows were rolled down and the music turned all the way up. Dean’s music was the kind you couldn’t help but sing along with. Sometimes the singing devolved into yelling the lyrics at each other between fits of giggles. You rarely got to see Dean in this relaxed state, and you couldn’t get enough of it. He resembled the Dean you’d always heard about in fond memories the boys would retell. 

The small towns you came across were either run down or quaint. The occasional motel was where a room would be rented. There was never much to do in these towns but pass through. You’d stop for the night and get dinner at the local diner to bring to the room. On the way out of town you’d fill Baby at the only gas station while Dean quickly went inside to buy some drinks and snacks. 

The times you found yourself in a bigger city, Dean always made a point to stop for a day or two. Getting to play tourist was fun. You’d grab your instant camera and roam the streets with Dean holding your hand the whole way. There were unique stores, aquariums, hotels, and tourist attractions all documented by you. Every picture either you or Dean dated and wrote where it was taken before putting it in the box you had under your seat. 

The two weeks you were gone seemed both too long and yet far too fast an experience. Getting back to the bunker, you were glad to return to your own bed yet missed the idea of waking up to a new adventure every day. 

Author’s Note : Reblogs are appreciated, likes are welcome, and if you want to read more of my fics then maybe follow.

©heyitsme1040 If you find this post on any platform under a username different than heyitsme1040 it is not their work.

[sheenashifts1217]

hello! ^-^ i just saw your post about shufflemancy, and if you're still taking requests, i would love to get a message from dean winchester (he/him) from my supernatural dr.

my name is ange or angelica (she/her). i don't really have any specific questions. anything that comes through i will be happy with!

tysm for doing this for the community!! getting a reading helps so much with motivation it's crazy 🫶 and i personally LOVE shufflemancy because music means so much to me. if you decide to do this, please take your time, i'm in no rush. take care!! 🫂💕

Hello, pretty!! You’re so kind. I love doing shufflemancy and learning more about it. I love it so much because music means a lot to me as well. Im also really excited to do this reading because I love supernatural!

What Dean wants to say to you:

First song:

Lyrics standing out:

“I’m so glad you made time to see me

Your guard is up

I left them there to die

This is me swallowing my pride

I’m sorry

Nothing but missing you

Wishing I realized

All the time

I haven’t been sleeping

Your birthday passed

Watch you laughing from the passenger side (I literally saw you laughing in his impala while y’all ride with the windows down. Sam sitting in the back seat pouting)

Gave me all your love (he feels that you’re the best thing that has and will ever happen to him. Awww)

Freedom

Change my own mind

Your sweet smile

So good to me

So right

You saw me cry

I swear I’d love you right

I’d go back in time and change it, but I can’t”

Oh girl, the love this man feels for you is DEEP. I’m picking up on a slow burn between you guys in the past. He hates that his guard was up so high when you guys first met or maybe started getting close and he pushed you away at first. He hates that he did that and he’s so sorry. But, you stayed anyway, even when he did push you away and he’s very grateful for that. He’s almost jealous of you because of how kind hearted and patient you are with him. It pisses him off lmao. He wants to be more like you. He says, “you make me better”. He worries he will ruin you or take away your “Pureness”, but he will never leave you. He doesn’t like that you put yourself in danger for him. He feels like he doesn’t deserve it. He wants you to hold him at night. He has a soft spot for you, but he said “you already know that”. Ever since that day you saw him at his most vulnerable and showed him that it’s okay to be vulnerable and you accept him, he’s felt like he owes you the world. He loves you so much and wants to keep you pure.

Second song:

Lyrics standing out:

“Feeling destructive

Let me break it down

Build it up

Let me be honest

Wanted to protect you

We ain’t that different (he sees himself in you, the part of him that he thought he lost)

Don’t you walk away from me

See the mansions

Falling for weakness

I know you love when I sing

Pray I get through”

Idk why, but I kept seeing that scene of him as a kid at Christmas time. He’s a self destructive person due to the trauma he’s been through. He doesn’t want to put that onto you, but he knows you’re willing to listen. He needs your reassurance. He’s afraid of saying too much and scaring you away. He sees himself in you, the part he locked away because he thought it made him weak. You amaze him because you’re like that part of him but you’re so strong. You make him feel like a kid again. He wants to sheild you from the world and wants you to always come to him and open up. He also LOVES your car rides together and when you tell him he’s a bad singer. He really loves your smile and always wants to be the reason for it. He also really wants to dance with you.

Overall, Dean put up a lot of walls in his past and didn’t know what to do when you broke them down. Im hearing “Heart attack”, by One Direction, playing in my head. That may mean something to you. He’s so happy you tore those walls down. Now he needs you to guide him without him. Like a horse getting used to not having to wear blinders anymore. Like he has so much freedom now, he doesn’t know how to use it. He wants to be able to guide you in the same way. He would give you the world. He loves how you two are playful with each other and have a very “puppy love” relationship.

Happy shifting, my love. I hope this resonates and please give feedback :) 🫶💗

Edit: also, I’m not sure if he is your s/o or not. I picked up on either him being your s/o, but I also kind of felt like a best friend kind of energy. Could be a best friends to lovers? Either way, he loves you deeply and wants you to know that. Whether it be platonically or romantically

[bloodydeanwinchester]

hi jenna gif questions for u 💜 what's your favorite part of making gifs? what's the most valuable thing/tip/trick you've learned? what's some of your favorite gif sets you've made?

hi ida!!!! sorry i took a couple days to answer this i wanted to wait until i had some time to think about it before i answer! i loooove these questions tho so thank you so much for sending them 💜💜

my favorite part about making gifs is probably coloring and like...that moment when i get the gif to look exactly how i want it to. i like to play around with coloring and try a lot of different things with it and that can be so fun! i think over the last like 6-8 months my coloring has really improved a lot and i've been having a lot of fun learning new ways to do things! but i actually had a really hard time coming up with an answer for this question because i mostly enjoy the entire process! the only part that i don't really enjoy is picking out the frames for each gif. i always start with way too many and then i have to cut stuff out and i hate that part. also it's reaaally hard sometimes to not end up with like 20 gifs cause there's so much i want to include!!!

okay im gonna cheat on this one and give a few things i've learned since i started that have been sooooo valuable to me. first is the importance of having a good quality download to start with. i think my gifs got significantly better when i finally downloaded all of the episodes in 1080p instead of using the screen recording on netflix like i had been before. second sharpening is so important! i did not do any sharpening on my first gifs i made! sharpening makes the gifs loook sooo sharp and crisp and pretty. third and kind of similar to sharpening was learning/figuring out how to use the camera raw filter. there's sooooo much you can do with camera raw filter (coloring sharpening lightening). and finally one thing i learned that i think made my coloring look significantly better was to try not to lighten the gif too much and/or to figure out ways to lighten darker gifs without it messing up the background too much (sometimes when they're lightened too much it will like pixelate the background and it looks awful)

and finally (in order of when they were made from oldest to newest) here are links to some of my favorite gifsets:

Bloody Dean Throughout the Seasons Set - this one actually came out really good considering the fact that it was made only a month after i first started making gifs! if i remember correctly it's the first set that i ever used sharpening on.

6x20 F+TM King Set - this one is a favorite mostly just because i love the song so much and tmwwbk is one of my favorite episodes. i think some of my favorite sets to make are the ones that i add lyrics to.

2022 Nov 5th Set - i was really happy with how this one came out! it's so hard to get gifs from episodes over different seasons to look the same! and this one had gifs from 12 different seasons! also i think this was the first set i ever made that got over 1000 notes which i remember being really excited about!

Laughing Dean Set - this one is a favorite purely based on the content of the set. it feels like injecting serotonin every time i look at it<3

1x12 Faith Set - another one based on the content of the set. i just love this episode so much.

Season 9 Dean Set - i LOVE the coloring in this set! and season 9 dean is so beloved to me. he is just so beautiful and bloody and sad.

2023 Cas Day Set - another f+tm lyric set! i love the space overlay that i added and the blue-pink of the coloring so much!

4x18 Destiel Every Episode Set - i loooove this scene so much! this gif series has by far been more popular than any of the other gifs that i post and this set is definitely the most popular in the series. no other set has ever even come close to getting 4k notes like this one did. also i really like the purple coloring a lot<3

[sweetsmellosuccess]

Love Lies Bleeding

Dir. Rose Glass

In Rose Glass’ version of the American Southwest, light pollution is non-existent. Instead, the inky blackness of the night sky is pockmarked perfectly with glittering points of distant stars and planets. It’s a beautiful, unspoiled tableau, standing in marked contrast to the all the griminess of the humans back on terra firma, their hopelessly complicated and messy interweavings casting a pall on those things within the Earth’s gravitational pull. 

It’s that sort of pull that draws feckless gym manager, Lou (Kristin Stewart), to vagabond bodybuilder Jackie (Katy O’Brian), new to the small New Mexico town more or less run by corrupt gun runner Lou Sr. (Ed Harris, sporting a low ring of long hair that makes him look like comic book store owner), who also happens to be Lou’s estranged father. 

Lou and Jackie bond very quickly  —  Lou’s pronounced queerness offering precious few options beyond the mewling propositions of fellow gym-worker Daisy (Anna Baryshnikov), whose teeth are rutted with yellow stains  — and very adroitly (the sex scenes between them are less about nudity and more about explicit context), just in time for other complications to set upon them. Jackie was in town only as a waystation for her eventual trip up to Vegas for a huge body-building competition, but she quickly gets pulled into Lou’s wobbly orbit, as her sister, Beth (Jena Malone), deals with the horrendous abuse heaped upon her by her husband, JJ (Dave Franco, with an applause worthy mullet). 

When JJ finally goes too far, and lands his wife in the hospital with facial injuries, Lou’s fury translates to Jackie’s now-steroid-addled sense of justice, which she goes to enact on JJ’s leering visage. Now embroiled in the aftermath of her vengeance, Lou and Jackie have to navigate the tricky pathways around, and eventually to Lou’s father’s mansion ensconced up in the hills. 

Glass, whose previous debut feature, Saint Maud, was a marvel of psychological complexity and restraint, has fully embraced the pulpy nature of the material (from a script penned by Glass and Weronika Tofilska), a kind of modern noir, set against a backdrop of queerness (reminiscent, ever so slightly, of the Warchowski’s Bound), and studded with some of Glass’s more enigmatic, lyric visual totems (close ups of giant insects, frequent cutaways to glowing red portraits of some of the principles haunting the drug-addled mind of Jackie). 

There is also a visceral component to Glass’s vision: In one early scene, a fully-clothed Lou, lying on her stomach on a ragged couch, masterbates, as her cat slips between her slightly raised feet to nosh on some microwaved leftovers still on their plastic tray; in another, Lou, who smokes like a Harry Dean Stanton character, uses the smoke in her lungs as a kind of wispy sexual prop. Everything feels grubby and vaguely soiled, the endless detritus  —  from plastic food trays, to empty glass Steroid vials, to the forlorn emotional longing of characters whose lives are little to no consequence to anyone else  —  of human existence crowded around the characters miens like loose particles of ore around a magnet. 

The problem is, grotty isn’t a personality: Too many of Glass’s characters, including Lou and Jackie, are flattened out stand-ins for noir tropes: Both have mysterious backgrounds of violence, but are never illuminated beyond the immediate needs of the plot, which holds precious few surprises, beyond Glass’s more adventurous flights of lyric fancy (a scene near the end plays out as fantasy-fulfillment in a way that is particularly jarring). In some ways, the character’s domiciles  —  Lou’s cluttered apartment, the sweat-soaked gym where they meet  — are more articulated than the characters themselves. 

As such, as much as Stewart and O’Brian lean into their roles, we really don’t know enough about them to be moved by their relationship, one way or the other. Without caring about them, the film loses a lot of steam, so that by the climactic showdown between Lou and her father, the stakes feel far too minimal to make an impact. Other than fulfilling the basic tenets of narrative closure, there isn’t a lot of flame to the film’s ubiquitous cigarette smoke. 

[alwayschasingrainbows]

Part 1 of Dean Priest's headcanons (written in a great hope he shall be forgiven):

Dean's first memory is seeing his mother cry. She is hiding in his nursery, with her bowed head, her shoulders shaking with sobs. He reaches out to stroke her hair, trying to comfort her. She wraps her arms around him and whispers "remember, dear, you ARE enough". Years later, he isn't quite sure if he hadn't dreamt it - but he clings to the memory nonetheless. It is all he has.

He grows up, seeing his parents argue. Well, it is his father who raises his voice - his mother never does. She doesn't scream even when his father throws a dinner plate at her. Dean can't help thinking his parents argue because of him.

Dean learns there is a difference between him and the other children, when he is only a few years old. He can't run or play the way other children can. His brothers and sisters are all lively and loud - he isn't. That's why he asks his mother to read him stories. She spends more time with Dean than with her other children (he needs me more, she thinks) or her husband (nobody could blame her for THAT). But Dean sees the envious glances his siblings and father throw at him. Envious - and hateful. It is when he knows - they despise him, too. He keeps telling himself he doesn't care - up to the point he almost believes it.

His mother sings him an old lullaby. She has a lovely, melodic voice. He knows the lyrics by heart. "On a night like this I always think of the 'hills where spices grow.' For years, he hopes that one day he'll be able to 'fly like a youthful hart or roe.' He remembers the day he realizes he won't.

Dean learns how to read very early on. He reads and writes better than his older siblings and everyone notices that. His teachers praise him in front of the class and, for the first time in his life, he feels proud. But then, he hears whispers. He is lame. It is his own brother who starts calling Dean a Jarback and the name sticks. His brother never dares to call him like this in front of their mother, but doesn't hold his tongue in front of father. And father only smiles, in his own, wicked way, so Dean knows he must have heard. He never says a word, though. Dean tells himself it doesn't matter. But his resentment grows.

His mother dies when Dean is only eight years old. Dean is the only one who can't cry (people will later say he's souless - not only lame, not only a Jarback, but also souless). He puts a single, white lily on his mother's grave (he hates lillies afterwards).

Life goes on. Slowly, Dean becomes more and more of a Jarback. He turns to books - they are the only company he will ever need, he tells himself.

Uncle James suddenly dies, with no wife nor children, when Dean is sixteen. He leaves all of his fortune to Dean, to the horror of the clan. He's the only one with brains, Uncle James used to say. All Priests hate Dean a little more - but he only laughs. His laughter has a cynical ring to it, now.

Dean doesn't believe in friendship, so at first he doesn't trust Douglas. Why should he? Douglas is everything Dean has never been. He's good-looking, strong, kind. But they both love books, so in a time, they warm up to each other. They spend long hours in library, arguing over the complexity of human relationships in A Tale of Two Cities, and Dean thinks that maybe... maybe he can be happy.

Perhaps there is something between Dean and Douglas, or perhaps not. Dean never finds out. He goes abroad to study, while Douglas finds a job as a journalist. Dean offers him a loan, but Douglas is too proud to take it. "I'll earn the money and join you". But he never does - because Juliet Murray happens, with her slow, blossoming smile. Douglas writes him about the wedding and Dean writes back, congratulating them. He doesn't understand - for many years he doesn't understand, not until Emily smiles at him - her mother's smile, he later finds out - and he's utterly lost.

He travels to escape. He travels to forget.

He tries to write a book, once. He vowes he will never try again. *inspired by a fanfic*

He tells Emily "I'll wait for you" and hates himself for that. After all, she's just a child. Douglas' child, which is far worse. Dean loved her father - he isn't sure what the love was, as a friend, as a... But now, Douglas is gone and Emily is the only thing Dean has left. *Douglas/Dean inspired by fanfic and conversation on tumblr*.

Dean thinks Emily is going to be gone, too. But he picks up the broken aster she crushed and puts it away between the page of Jane Eyre. He marks a verse "All glorious rose upon my sight / That child of shower and gleam." *canon*

He asks Emily if she's going to miss him. He no longer travels to escape - he travels to hear her voice say "very much so, Dean".

(Part 2 in a a separate post, because it is too long).

[autisticandroids]

15, 21, 23?

15. something you learned this year

i don't know if i can say i learned a new skill as such. but one thing is like... i really enjoyed making three card stud. and it really opened my eyes to like, how much of what i like about the practice of fanfiction is the meticulous remixing/reinterpretation of canon. there's a way in which the AMV is a more... analytical art form than the fanfic, because you are literally forced by the constraints of the medium to keep to the text. all you have are song lyrics and the kuleshov effect to convince your audience to take the new meaning you intend to convey from stuff already in the show. and i brought that ethos to three card stud even though i did add stuff. in a lot of ways three card stud was just me listing off things from canon i think a lot about and saying eh? eh? like. hoping the context would make it clear *why* this stuff makes me crazy. and i think that was a lot of the motivation behind the fic i'm currently working on, which is about dean and cas getting caught by the police. that fic at this point is mostly lists of things that have happened in spn episodes, placed in a new context by baffled feds and cops. which is the fun part. so like basically i learned that this is really fun, listing off canon facts in a new context

21. most memorable comment/review

so the most memorable traditional comment as such i got was probably this one, on i fold in half so easily (ifihse tends to generate the best comments because it's extremely dark without the ways in which it is dark being obviously flagged. so people are more shocked and more forced to think). "Cas: no officer i am very happy please dont tell dean im emotionally complex" is so funny and true that's literally what happens in that fic.

another top contender is this one, on getting serious, which generates good comments for the same reason ifihse does, though it's a lot less intense.

but in terms of my favorite *response to my work,* it was the breastfeeding anon saga (in chronological order here) which was a response to my fic smorgasbord.

and then i wrote a fic based on those anons, and then i got these very funny tags on my fic post:

23. fics you wanted to write but didn’t

when i tell you about the 120k deanvictor fic which is literally 90k of victor henriksen hunting down a serial killer dean winchester while becoming a little (sexually) obsessed with him and then 30k of victor knowing about the supernatural and moonlighting as a hunter while he and dean suck each others dicks so much.

and also it's about victor's relationship with his two ex wives and his former stepdaughter who he is still emotionally a parent to even though they have no legal relationship and the coworker he had an emotional affair with who he doesn't speak to anymore and how he feels trapped in his life and his job and dean represents this escape for him this total freedom. just living in his car on the road and not having to worry about what your boss thinks or needing to quit smoking. while for dean victor represents this stability and adulthood dean can never achieve. and dean leaves three spare pairs of underwear in victor's divorcé bachelor pad as a kind of little... fantasy. of what life could be like.

anyway the most compelling scene from that, IN MY MIND, is a scene where victor STILL thinks dean is a serial killer. and now he has him in custody. and against his will he's... charmed. by dean. because dean is charming and pathetic, shaking and sweating from mild alcohol withdrawal but still cracking jokes and being friendly and observant and extremely young-feeling, for 28. and earnest in a way he didn't expect. and they're forced to work together against a demon siege, a spin on jus in bello where victor still doesn't find out about the supernatural he's just protecting himself and a prisoner from a threat. and he has the uncomfortable realization that he's attracted to dean winchester (serial killer) (guy he is trying to take down) (has killed so so many people). and he's like well. we can table that for later. and then dean escapes.

so i've been trying to figure out a way to scoop out just that scene and turn it into its own fic because that's actually manageable for me.

the dean and cas pursued by the cops idea also comes a bit from frustration that i can't write this, though the feds in that one are ocs bc it's later.

from here

[regardingjenmish]

Just a tiny “review” of the new album

Okay so these are just some first thoughts I had while listening to the album. No, fr i just wrote it down on post it notes while listening so half of it probably makes zero sense

First thought: Jensen absolutely KILLED it on this album. Second thought: oh this is why it took so long because Jensen was busy working and this is a lot of Jensen. Lowkey his album ngl Right Kind of trouble: A little more vibey and chill than it was at the concert. Jensen obviously sounds amazing and the song is for sure still a favorite. I love the piano solo towards the end and when the song speeds up it becomes even better just like at the concert if that makes sense(?)

Forever ain’t long: Jensen, sir?!?!?!?! his voice is insane and I’m obsessed. I love this song and once again the piano/guitar solo makes the whole thing even better. The song is beautiful, it is a little slow but it’s amazing. And again HIS VOICE

Every Light: that’s Dean’s song idc I didn’t make the rules. I am still obsessed with the ‘booze and cheap tattoos’ lyric, especially because of how Jackles sings it. (also the violin in the back is perfect)

Ain’t no tellin: JENSEN??? The voice!!!! It has a really familiar vibe and i love it. His voice sounds fucking amazing (i swear this is a remark on every song and no one is surprised)

You made me blue: It’s a nice song, obviously a little sad and Steve is the one singing it..

Keep on ramblin’: Jensen bby.. at this point just give me a solo album please. I like the lyrics. It makes me think of something/a feeling that I can’t put a finger on right now. It kind of makes me think of just playing this song while you’re driving in the middle of the night with the windows down even tho it’s not that type of song im sorry idk how to explain it, i did say it won’t make sense

Sweet Escape: hey steve

Return to me: it’s a lovely song that’s more calm and it’s both of them so the vibe is pretty good. it does make me think of like a movie scene where people are slow dancing and someone is just about to leave in the middle of the night idk how to explain otherwise fjdhjfksjs

Restless man: Jensen???? sir, your voice is making me emotional!! I can’t handle this shit! the lyrics are also a little sad. I don’t know how else to explain except that it reminds me of a goodbye from a certain type of life? Nothing bad or sad, just that feeling when you realize a certain moment is ending or beginning idk leave me alone its 1 am however that could be me projecting bc im going through it jshdkjskd. When he sings ‘I found out long ago’ i fucking love the way he sings it, his voice sounds absolutely amazing are we really surprised. And I love the song, especially when it picks up a little bit.

Velvet sky: It’s a nice calm down to end the album especially after Jensen absolutely killed it. Steve is the one singing (Jensen joins in a little bit) and it’s pretty good song. good way to end it.

[canonicallysoulmates]

J2 Gold Panel ATLCon 2023

The boys are looking handsome wearing blue, and red 🥰

Jared brings up the Saturday night concert and asks the crowd if it was thumbs up or thumbs down, then he shares a quick story about how when he was in High School the movie, Gladiator, came out and his Latin teacher was pissed off because in the movie the Emperor gives a thumbs up to mean mercy and thumbs down to mean death but according to Jared's teacher realistically it would be the opposite thumbs up for death and thumbs down for mercy because it's supposed to be a representation of the sword.

Out of curiosity, I did look this up and while some kind of hand gesture involving the thumb was used scholars can't say definitively what this looked like because writers at the time didn't really describe it, and if they did we seemingly have yet to find their writings. So there's a lot of scholarly debate as to what these gestures actually looked like and meant in Roman times. The popular idea that thumbs down was involved and meant death is attributed to an 1872 painting by French artist, Jean-Léon Gérôme, called Pollice Verso which depicts a gladiator asking for his life while the crowd gives a thumbs down. And that's your history lesson for today now back to our scheduled programming! 😅

Getting back to the panel, Jared mentions that there were times that were never printed where Dean would do an exorcism and Jensen would fumble on purpose, and Jared knew he did this on purpose and he would tell Jensen so and Jensen's reply would basically be 'yeah, but if I do it good they'll make me do it more, if i make it look like I can't do it they'll have Sam do it'.

And Jensen mentions what he called "his senior moment" which is that during the Saturday night concert he was singing Simple Man, and it's been so long since he sang it that he forgot the lyrics to the last verse. Backstage, prior to singing, he had the feeling this might happen because, again, it's been so long since he's sang it so the lyrics were printed out for him and placed in front of him on the floor but the font was too small for him to see them so when Jason Mann went over to him, he took his glasses and he said it was like the Matrix 😂

Getting into the questions, not gonna lie the first one is a weird one, but does Jensen remember the color of the belt and shoes he was wearing with the blue suit in his Man About Town UK photoshoot? He answers that he doesn’t think he had a belt on which gives us fangirl!Jared saying "easy access"...sir!

Anyways, Jensen thinks they were brown dress shoes. He says that in those photoshoots you walk in and there’s racks of clothing and generally a stylist and an assistant who will ask what you like, and he'll tell them that he doesn't know that they're the professionals so they just had him try stuff on and he wasn't really paying attention also he had like 12 outfit changes that afternoon which makes Jared mutter 'Jesus'. Jensen says that yeah, it was a lot that photoshoots are not their (his and Jared's) favorite thing to do, they're a necessary thing for their industry but he did have fun on that shoot. x

Out of all the famous horror movie villains which would be the hardest for Sam and Dean to face? Jared says it’s a name he can’t say aka Voldemort. Jensen says the easiest would be Michael cause he just stands there, that he's never understood how he catches people like does he get on like a segway. Jared mentions any villain Walking Dead, I wouldn't be too confident in that answer cause Negan but also I don't watch that show but I do know they've made some changes to the Walkers and they can open doors and climb shit now.

Jensen is still trying to figure out who would be the toughest, Jared tells him he'd go Star Wars or Harry Potter but those aren't horror movies. Someone in the crowd yells out Jason to which Jared replies he already beat Jason. The crowd also yells out Freddy Krueger but Jensen thinks Sam and Dean would have figured it out although he would be a tough one. x

Can they share any aspects of strain that their characters experienced that might have thought them something? Jared says that in his 15 and a half years on SPN he learned a lot, that it's hard for him to parse out what he learned with the help of Sam and what he learned with the help of Dean, and what he learned from the help of whomever. What he learned is that he went from being 22 to being 38 but he certainly learned that we are more capable than we understand, than we believe. That he loves stories of ultra marathon runners, or the one he was listening to recently on a podcast of a guy who trecked across Antartica. That those stories really inspire him cause sometimes when you're stressed about something and you go 'there's no way I'll figure this out' there's a little reminder in him to keep at it, and that as much as it is a cliche every thousand mile journey began with a single step. He felt that with Sam, and with Dean, and with the show so no matter how tired he is, no matter how emotionally or physically beat down he feels he just tries to keep on going forward.

Jensen says he'll echo what Jared said just slightly different view point. That both Dean and Sam, as his grandfather would say, when the good Lord made them he forgot to put the quit in them. They don't quit. And he can 100% be sure that Jared also has that in him as well and he feels confident he has some of that as well but it's because now they represent these characters that don't have quit in them that that he thinks drives them in their personal lives a little more than it would have had they never played these characters. x

How are the kids? Jared answers that theirs are good, that they finish school in May. That Shep just did a PSIA which is similar to the mathletes Jared did and he got like 4th on the district so he's a chip of the block, that Odette is still queen of the world as far as she knows, and Tom is kicking ass he's in sports and is doing well, that they're all safe and sound. Jensen says his are currently gallivanting around Europe with D, that they were at a museum today and she told him it was a total disaster. JJ is great, the twins however are 6 and very opinionated and if they don't like something- it reminds him of a story Ryan Gosling told about his little girl about how he took her to the Louvre and his little girl gave the museum a thumbs down that Arrow is like that, and that makes Jared share a story about when they were all in the Austin airport together last week on their way to Rome. They were supposed to have a 2hr layover in Atlanta but it ended up being around 5hrs so Jensen and D were trying to keep the kids awake and trying to think positive that maybe this is good cause they'll be more tired - at which point Jensen says that it was nice to have Uncle Jared stuck there with them (💕) - and when they were set to board Jared is standing with his rolling carry on and his backpack and he feels something push his carry on forward, when he looks behind him there's Arrow with her roller bag giggling evilly at him cause she wanted to play so he started to play with her. And then, at another point, he and Jensen had a little race with Arrow and Zep sitting on their carry on's, so Jensen has one of those aluminum rolling carry on's, the ones that you can sit on, and he was walking Arrow up and down on it but Zeppelin started complaining that it wasn't fair even though Jensen had spend a couple minutes already walking him up and down on the carry on too so Jensen looked at Jared and started signaling towards the kid, and Jared was like 'come here buddy' and put him on his bag and they had a little race through the airport. This is so cuuuute!!! I need y'all to go watch this moment for yourself cause it's an adorable story but also so you can see what the look was that Jensen gave Jared when he was asking for help with Zeppelin because it's such a help me with our kids look. x

Jensen had mentioned Lonesome Dove a while back but who would be Woodrow and who would be Augustus? Jensen feels like it's obvious, he would be Augustus and Jared would be Woodrow. Also, Jared mentions that the key makeup artist on Walker won the Emmy for makeup on Lonesome Dove! x

If they got a 60 sec ad in the Super Bowl what would it be about? Jensen goes "ha! you know how much money I just lost buying a 60 second ad?" Jared says that it would just be them crying, and Jensen says it would be an ad about how to stupidly spend your money 😂

Jared jokes his would be herpexia 🤣

The next fan read an article a couple years about how people think, some think in full sentences like a running monologue while others think in pictures and concepts, how do the boys think? Jared says he is absolutely the former. That he's either thinking solving the problems of the world in his head, or meow mix jingle, which he does part of, Jensen asks him if he sees things in text to which Jared replies yes, that he's thinking of the description of the visual more than the visual. Jensen also asks him what the recall looks like in his head when it comes to scripts, Jared replies that it flips in that case that when he's doing a scene he can see the script where the page turns, he doesn't have a photographic memory but he has a visual memory but that's for memorization if he's thinking about what he's gonna do later that day when he gets home he's not thinking about how it looks necessarily he's like making lists in his head.

Jensen says he would probably lean the other way, that when he memorizes a script at first he literally sees the page in his head and is reading lines which is largely why he can memorize lines that he's not even saying like he'll know what Jared's lines are he's basically reading the text in his head. And when talking about daily life if he's thinking about what he has to do when he gets home, he's visualising so if he's thinking about opening the door he sees that door and the dog going out, or thinking about getting the groceries he visualizes the grocery store and the aisle he has to go down.

Jared adds that a big day on Walker or SPN, a one hour episodic tv show, is like 8 pages, if you have an 8 page day you have a full day he thinks the most they've ever had was an 11 page day and that's kind of undoable unless you absolutely trust your director or is a lot of dialogue. He asks Jensen what's the most pages he's done in one day, Jensen answers 24 when he was on Days Of Our Lives that they usually shoot 60 pages a day. x

When the boys had a home ie the bunker was there anything they had to take with them from home or that they kept as a comfort thing when they had to go back on the road? Jared quips a flask. He also says he thinks they probably still had the cooler, he asks Jensen if he got legos or army men Jensen says he got all the weapons in the back. Jared says that when the show ended they had said the things they would love to have so their props department send them some things like motel cards, samulet, an army man and some legos so those are in safe keeping in his house.

The fan asks if Sam and Dean have any favorite driving games, someone in the crowd mentions punch buggies which Jensen says he calls slug bug which is when you slug someone when you see a bug car, and that that's probably what they played Jared says probably while the other one was asleep. Jensen also adds that there a couple of other things that they got from the set which they're not at liberty to talk about but the one thing he really wanted was Dean's two weapons of choice: his pistol and his sawed off shotgun. And that's a little trickier of a prop to take home and across the border because it's not a prop it's a firearm so instead what he did was he got a 1911 Colt .45, and he comissioned the craftsman in Van who had done the filigree engraving in Dean's gun to come out of retirement to do that filigree on the firearm that he bought, and he actually ended up using it in an episode just so he could say it was on tv. Then he did all the paperwork and sent it back home but the shotgun is ilegal if it's sawed off so he didn't think he'd be able to get it until he talked to his dad who told him that he tought his uncle had one and he did, he left it to Jensen when he passed so now his collection is complete. x

J2 Gold Panel Atlanta 2023

[sunny12th]

I've started watching movies again and I watched Giant (1956) last night. what a nothing burger movie. several minor conflicts that couldve developed into some real drama or just Something but nah. Elizabeth Taylor is quite possibly the most gorgeous human to ever walk the earth.

Leslie couldve been a really rich character and I was expecting a lot more from her after the first few scenes.

I liked how menacing the Texas song was, the lyrics were like "Texas has its eyes on you, you cannot escape." I felt that this song should've been the theme for Leslie's initial experience in TX. She's married a man two days after meeting him, traveled across the USA to live with him on his 500,000 acres, and immediately realizes she's moved into an isolated wasteland, to her at least, with a man who immediately starts policing her behavior. and a woman, her step sister, that doesn't want to relinquish any control over the house or her brother.

I also like to think that Leslie's first motivation, before hearing about those 500,000 acres, was that Bick was there to buy her horse. She's *such* a horse girl that she married the man buying her horse just to keep that horse. I really wanted more of a reaction to Lux hurting her horse and the horse having to be put down after.

I liked that Leslie does immediately try to make the best of the situation. She chose this, she pursued this man, and now she has to live with it. Helps a lot that Bick is generally very nice to her and very handsome. I do think we could've had more of an exploration on how different they are as people, how different they were raised. Imagine marrying a man after knowing his for two days and only then realizing the consequences because you don't know his values or ideals. You don't know that he's gonna dismiss you in front of his buddies because they're talking 'man stuff,' like politics and business. Or that he's gonna scold you for being kind to the servants or wanting to improve the living conditions of the farm hands and cowboys families.

It felt like the film was taking note of it, of their differences, but never had any resolution. They just carried on because they love each other. And suddenly 25ish years have fucking passed lmao.

Jet's character is interesting and James Dean did a lot, for the younger Jet at least. Older Jet, nothing really happening there except he's drunk and wants to piss off Bick and his family. And is still obsessed with Leslie because she was kind to him (and also is the gorgeous Elizabeth Taylor.) But we don't spend enough time with him for him to be a compelling antagonist. He never feels like a real threat because he never really is one. Leslie's never tempted to be with him, Bick hates him but not enough to really do anything about it, Jet does try to marry their daughter but he doesn't even seem serious about that.

There's a significantly better story somewhere in Giant but what we got is a lukewarm shallow puddle of a drama. A remake as a limited series would have a lot of potential.