#also now that ive done some lives with him i can say that this mv outfit is so gorgeous

[4giorno]

this was honestly such a mistake im aware of that, but i dont regret it at all. i also got the kitty ritsu card (i accidentally tapped away before taking a screenshot 💀) which im so happy abt so all in all this was such a nice thing for me atm and i needed it 💖💖

[stanharu]

beastars episode 24 thoughts!

this post got kinda long i have Many Thoughts on this one

Overall I had fun watching this ep but I could really tell it was rushed and there was so much that got cut, which makes me super sad. our fears about the finale having pacing issues due to all the added scenes & rearranging were confirmed & it rly sucks, but i'll elaborate more on that in a bit.

this week's ep covered the end of chapter 92, chapters 93-97, and included small bits of chapters 98 & 99.

so the ep starts with the ED and the latter part of the tunnel scene with ibuki and louis. i liked the visual effect they used to show that they were in the dark. louis' voice acting was also On Point. for the most part i think this scene was done pretty well but I can tell it's being rushed also. I really wish we got more buildup and narration instead of just jumping straight to ibuki telling louis to shoot him. the way it is in the anime feels less impactful imo.

also im sad we didnt get to see this in the anime

before i move on, i wanna talk a bit about louis and his relationship w/ the shishigumi and ibuki. i feel like in the anime quite a few of the lil moments that really endear you to the shishigumi and also ibuki were either cut or kinda glossed over, which is strange to me considering how much effort and care went into the ED. it's very emotional and good but i feel like maybe anime onlies are missing out only seeing the anime and the MV. but idk.

legosi and riz's fight was quite rushed as well. there's so much narration and dialogue missing from it and that really rubs me the wrong way. It wasn't all bad but compared to the manga I just don't think it's as good. I will say tho that I really liked the sequence w legosi and the moths. I thought it looked really nice and was pretty well done.

also i liked how the backgrounds had some anti-yahya graffiti, its a nice touch imo

it says "high quality horse meat"

I was happy to see legosi do the "tell me more" pose but I'm honestly disappointed that the anime took out the whole exposition about why legosi did it. like i feel like without that it's just legosi being weird when he has a reason for it!!! This is just one example of the anime taking out crucial narration during the fight.

I also think it's kinda weird how they changed how louis shows up at the fight. im not sure how i feel about riz just charging at him like that, but i liked how legosi kicked him before they ran lol.

i dont have much to say about pina's small scene but I did wanna say that during my first watch thru of the ep i was too distracted trying to read the graffiti behind him that i didn't notice him getting his phone out of the dumpster and calling the cops lmao

it says "devour yahya"

and now... here we are... the predation scene.

overall i thought it was pretty well done but, like the rest of the ep, i could tell it was also being kinda rushed. some important beats werent given enough time to really sink in, and there's a few bits of narration taken out of this part as well that i find disappointing :^(

tho i did like how the anime called back to this scene in s1 when legosi mentions utilizing his strength.

also this part where louis is remembering ibuki had me like😭

I also really liked seeing louis cry. I was crying too sjdflskjdflsjkdf. i thought that scene was really good, its prolly my favorite part of the ep tbh. getting to hear the whole predation scene voiced made me kind of a mess lol. i really liked louis' expressions throughout this whole ep too. studio orange used their whole louis expression budget on these last 2 eps lmao.

seeing legosi instantly get all beefed up was great too. he looked a little ridiculous but i kinda loved it lol. he's so huge and poofy. i love him.

big pomeranian

anyway, im also sad they took out louis' line about being reduced to a flashback character lol. instead he tells legosi "be a hero" again which... im not sure about that change. i liked the part with riz thinking back about tem tho. tho imo the way riz realizes he's in the wrong feels pretty sudden. again adding to how rushed the whole ep feels.

before i move on again i just wanna say legosi looks so cute. even all puffed up and covered in blood. how does he do that

baby boy baby. i wanna ruffle his cheek floofs.

i think one of the things im most disappointed about from this whole ep was how the fight got wrapped up. i really like how the cops show up and totally shift the tone in the manga jslkdfjskljdf. im also really sad we didnt get this interaction

tthe anime really took out most of the sillier moments from the finale, which makes me pretty sad to think about. i know the anime and manga have different tones but pls let the boys be silly sometimes!!

the next part where legosi and louis finally establish their friendship was really cute tho ❤️ even tho it was pretty different i enjoyed it a lot.

BABIESSSS 🥺😭❤️❤️

the wrap-up for this arc and this episode gave me whiplash sdjlfkjsdf. it literally speedruns thru legosi's predation conviction, being released, louis & haru's graduation, and legosi deciding he's going to drop out of school. that is SO MUCH AT ONCE. also i was holding out hope that legosi would have his new years call with haru after the fight instead but that didnt happen!! so it just got cut!!! kinda mad about that tbh. legosi and haru having a lil scene at the very end made up for it a lil bit but that's still one of haru's few moments in this arc that's just not included.

we didnt even get the part wher legosi learns he can't marry haru bc of his conviction.

ive been really hoping for a season 3 announcement once this season ended. with all the background allusions to yahya, the added plot point of someone stealing elephant tusks, and sebun and melon's lil cameos in this season, it seemed to me that studio orange was kinda teasing a 3rd season. but now, with the dismissive way the anime ended, and paru's note from earlier today, im less sure about the possibility of a 3rd season. i'd still like to see the rest of the series animated, but i guess we'll just have to wait and see if more anime is announced in the future.

if we do get another season in the future i just hope that we swing back around and actually address the things that got completely glossed over in the last couple minutes of this episode instead of charging forward w/o touching them again.

i really think the finale for this arc should've been two episodes at least. not including the tunnel scene. i think then things wouldn't have felt so rushed. people have been saying this season really would have benefitted from at least 1 extra episode and i cant help but agree. some have even suggested a whole 24 episodes just for this arc, but i think that this arc couldve been done properly with 12 or 13 episodes if there was some better prioritizing on what to include and what to cut.

like i dont mind not getting the parts about legosi's family if they can be addressed somehow in a future season (or if theres no more future anime seasons thats a plot thread that doesnt have to be worried about). i could have lived w/o seeing sheila & peach's chapter animated if it meant more time for the focus of this arc. and was the kangaroo red herring really necessary?

adaptation wise, i dont think this season was as good as the first. i still think it did fairly well, but i know that it could have been much better. ive been excited to watch this season with my friends once the dub releases, but now im wondering if i should just tell them to read the manga instead. sighs idk. perhaps it comes thru better as a bingewatch, or perhaps im being a bit too harsh. idk. at some point ill do a rewatch and see how i feel about the season as a whole, but that wont be for a while.

if you've read this far, thanks for reading my ramblings!! it's been fun to make these posts every week and im gonna miss getting new episodes every week.

[jonghos-left-airpod]

PLEASE READ THIS

This is a letter to atiny but especially black atiny ( from a black atiny) and also other kpop stans as most of you may or may not know, hongjoong had cornrows during a set of concept photos. Now of course like always people spoke up about it and atiny started to email KQ. Then we got a response from the dance teacher saying that they were sorry and would better educate themselves next time and would take the steps to fix it. Later that day KQ made a statement saying they could only change the hairstyle in lives but could not change it in the photo cards or in the mv. Now as we all now KQ is a small company so this is understandable. Now I've been a kpop stan for 4 years and ive seen braids on idols come and go . I've been told we were overreacting and that trying to educate these idols and companies was a form of hate( which we all know isnt true). So for KQ to make this statement means the world to me and makes me a proud supporter of not only ateez but also KQ. Now on the topic of hongjoong I feel that he as shown on multiple occasions that's he respects and adores black culture and has even ask us to hold them accountable if they ever offend anyone( not just for blackAtiny but any atiny) . So it was very disheartening to hear that he was receiving death threats from some,idk who but I saw someone speak up about it on Instagram. So now it is time to speak up for our leader who has spoken up for us . To show him support to show all of ateez support ❤. Their are people out there that dont know that they apologized and dont know about the past things our leader has done for our community so let's tell them let's educate them. Please educate yourself on the matter ( cultural appropriation) so that you speak up too . If dont really understand yet theres this post on insta that explains it perfectly so if u want you can send me ur @ or I can download it and post it on here with giving the credit to the original person. But please dont stay silent on the matter speak up use your voice and God bless.❤

[astro-break]

I don’t see it being talked about here, so I get to ramble about Crazy:B and Honeycomb Summer so buckle in, its going to be a ride

Quick disclaimer. This is the first time I’m doing something like that and I am simply coming from this as a fan and not as a professional. Some of the things I say might be wrong. And thats okay, I invite you to DM/Ask me questions, correct me, and even have a discussion with me. I’m very willing to learn from things I’ve done wrong and I’d love to hear everyone’s thoughts on this as well. The main purpose of this post will be to analyze Crazy:B’s growth through MVs with really low quality screenshots as my evidence/to make your reading experience more tolerable. I’ll also be speculating as to what might come going forward for the unit so if that interests you skip to the smiling Nikki screenshot near the end. So with that out of the way, have a smiling HiMERU and Nikki, get some water, and lets start.

So one thing ive always noticed with the previous Crazy:B MVs is the distance each member has with each other. This is most prevalent in Crazy Roulette, as the only real contact anyone has with each other is HiMERU and Rinne in that one “Bet. Omae wa dou da” part. In formation transitions, the space they give each other is pretty wide which in itself isn’t that big of a deal but it’s more common to have quick and snappy transitions with minimal spacing in a faster paced song such as Crazy Roulette. This especially holds true in the chorus but Crazy:B seems to be going for a more “Rile up the crowd” approach to both keep up their image as a party unit and allow their members more time to transition into the next formation

Even in shots where usually you’d expect the to be back to back with each other, they have a large gap between them as if there’s supposed to be a third member filling that space. (Note that Kohaku seems to be guilty of this the most. I think that this just speaks more to Kohaku’s impression of idols at this point in the story and the reason why he even entered the idol world in the first place.)

Even in the one scene of physical contact, HiMERU looks almost sad, wistful even, before putting on a stage smile. In HiMERU’s solo section, his face if very much melancholic and maybe even a little bit regretful. One can play it off as his lyrics have quite the somber tone as it is a lull to help increase the hype when the chorus comes around again, but wistful seems a bit odd when talking about having resolve and taking into account the general party like atmosphere of the song. Keep it in mind because it’s a reoccurring happenstance throughout these three MVs

The distance between the members is especially interesting as Crazy:B’s image is that of a wild and well, party like fun unit where the audience can just loose themselves in the adrenaline and hype. Their songs have a very rave kind of feel, the type that would get you on your feet and hopping around with your friends, so why would a unit like with such a party like vibe that keep there distance? Perhaps its because they are a newly formed unit so their approach of “Interact with the crowd” is better for them as it allows them to take more breaks, alleviate a lot of the pressure of dancing on stage, and it builds a loyal fanbase through constant fan interaction. Though it’s still very obvious from this one MV that Crazy:B is a unit made out of convenience and they’re not having any true fun while up on stage. Their smiles appear forced and it’s like they’re simply moving in accordance with the choreo. The only one who remotely looks like they’re having fun is Rinne, who lets himself go wild. We’ll see more of that in Be the Party Bee

Overall, Crazy Roulette sets up what Crazy:B is at the start of the main story. You can see that they are very individualistic and probably aren’t doing this for fun, simply out of obligation with the only exception being Rinnie. Despite being more polished and more technically impressive, they lack the unity that Alkaloid has. It’s a very good base for Crazy:B to grow from, and they definitely improve throughout the next two MVs

Okay now that we’re finally done with analyzing Crazy Roulette, have a picture of Kohaku smiling. Go drink your water and maybe stretch a bit before we move on 

Be the Party Bee starts off with a weird formation with very little symmetry but then again its Crazy:B, thats pretty on brand. It’s important to note here that the distance between everyone is noticeably lessened, there’s more physical contact between members, and the group seems all the more relaxed. The MV came out around the time the final main story chapter was released (If I’m wrong about this please correct me) so it’s around the end of Crazy:B’s unit arc. It makes sense for them to be pretty comfortable with each other at this point with all the shenanigans they went through.

Rinne especially goes off in this Live with very exaggerated motions. He’s all over the stage, kicking cheering and being very Rinne. You see some of this in Crazy Roulette but its in Be the Party Bee that his off the wall enthusiasm is on full display. He’s a beacon, drawing everyone’s attention to himself but he also passes off the baton to everyone else, giving each member the attention with his crazy antics. Its subtle but also really embarrassing on the recipients’ side, but its there none the less. It’s pretty interesting change from his more self-centered character that was showcased in the main story (Side note, I haven’t read the mains story. At all. If this is wrong please tell me). This side of him comes into play in Honeycomb Summer as well.

There’s still some tension in the group though with them still not feeling super at ease with each other. Distance is still present, and though it is much less than what it was in Crazy Roulette, you still have a sense that these members still aren’t all that comfortable with each other yet. You can see this in shots where the group is required to get into each other’s personal space. But at this point, they have a on stage dynamic that resembles a well thought out shuffle group that meshes well together.

Speaking of shuffle groups, it’s interesting to see how Nikki acts during Date Plan A to Z (The whole MV is interesting in of itself but I won’t speak too much about that. If anyone wants me to make a post on it tho i won’t be opposed) His movements in that MV suggest that he is very much used to someone invading his personal space in the middle of a Live coughcoughRinnecoughcough (Note how he leans back from Natsume as if he’s anticipating him to come closer) and thus acts pretty reserved from the other members of AtoZ. But you also get a very real and genuine smile from him which also implies that up till this point, idol work was an obligation and he didn’t find much joy in the people he worked with but with this new shuffle group, he’s found that being an idol can be genuinely fun. Perhaps its because he was working with Rinne this whole time, working with a whole new group of people, none of which are Rinne, is a new experience for him and he finds himself genuinely enjoying being an idol. Seeing as AtoZ happens after the main story, I hope that we see how being in a shuffle group affects how Nikki interacts with his unitmates in the Heat Haze

One last thing to note about Be the Party Bee is actually HiMERU. His movements during both Crazy Roulette and Party Bee are noticeably more restrained than the other members. It’s more glaring in Party Bee as the unit works more as a team than as individuals. The most obvious section of this happening is during a tradition space where the team breaks off into two groups and fool around for a bit to get into position. Nikki and Kohaku pull this off spectacularly and their little pokes at each other seem fun, high energy, and playful. HiMERU on the other hand, focuses solely on getting into position, barely doing anything to Rinne’s attempts to provoke him into the same playful energy. There are other parts where we get an idea that HiMERU is holding himself back, but this is the most noticeable one. My speculation (hah) is that it also ties into why he looks so melancholic in Crazy Roulette, but we’ll never know what happens in canon until HappyEle gives us some lore crumbs

Overall, Be the Party Bee showcases how Crazy:B is slowly learning to work with each other and mesh together into a cohesive unit. They’re still far from perfect and each member still goes off and does things on their own but overall they have a very different feeling from Crazy Roulette

So we’re halfway done, I’m still surprised that you’re here still reading spontaneous ramblings of someone who looks way too closely into MVs. Good job, go stretch, maybe rest your eyes for a while, drink some water, eat something, do whatever you need to take a small break before continuing. Here’s a smiling Rinne as motivation to rest a bit before we move on.

Now we talk about Honeycomb Summer. Honestly its probably one of my favourite ones just because it shows how much Crazy:B has grown as a unit and as characters. From the get go, you can immediately tell how relaxed everyone looks with giant grins on their face and very energetic movements. You really get the idea that they’re having genuine fun being up on stage. And that to me is the best thing any idol can do, is have fun on stage. Because if your performance is brimming with love and fun, your audience knows it and it makes everyone so much happier. And thats my favourite part of being an idol, to make someone’s day just a little bit better, to make them smile. To everyone them that the world isn’t as awful as you think it is.

The first 25 seconds is just them having fun, and though there is still distance between them, its the type of distance that the performers make for each other so that they’re free to play around, not the type of distance that is made because you are unfamiliar with someone. Everyone participates in this play, when previously it was either very choreographed or it was Rinne being Rinne. How do I know it’s not choreographed and its Crazy:B genuienly having fun? Look at the way each member moves. Each move, though uniform, is injected with personality. Nikki is free flowing, energetic, powerful, and bouncy. HiMERU is calm, measured and precise. Kohaku is wild yet still contained, hitting his moves with calculated power. And Rinne is, well he’s his normal off the wall, noodly, playful self.

One thing that has been pointed out a lot by the IG community is Rinne and Nikki’s dynamic. In Party Bee, Nikki was caught up in Rinne’s pace and was dragged along for the ride looking very visibly uncomfortable and put off. Obviously Rinnie invading Nikki’s personal space wasn’t in the choreo and Nikki, being someone who as of the writing of this post doesn’t seem to have that much experience as an idol and with ad-libbing things on the fly, doesn’t really know how to deal with it other than grimace and hope for the best. Honeycomb Summer provides us with a delightfully amusing face as Nikki’s reaction to Rinne’s repeated attempt to throw him off his game. This, my dear readers, is what we call “The neutral face of displeasure”. Is the face of a man who has let his friend get himself into yet another stupid situation and he’s the going to have to apologize on the behalf of his friend. Again. Nikki shows a “Here we go again” type of expression throughout Rinne’s actions, which is quite interesting given that his reaction during Party Bee was nervousness and surprise. Considering that he and Rinne have worked together before the formation of Crazy:B, I have to wonder if Rinne’s antics are a recent development thus Nikki’s surprise as Rinne must have pulled off similar tricks before.

We can clearly see Nikki’s growth and maybe desensitization with his antics when Rinne tries to elicit another reaction out of Nikki. Here, he ends up smiling a cute exasperated smile and its a nice moment where Nikki has grown close enough with Rinne that he can guess when he is going to pull off his ridiculous stunts. The reaction very well may be staged though with how much time was given to highlight such a face, 

What comes next is yet another showcase as to how far Crazy:B has come to trust each other and enjoy each other’s company. Before, it was only Rinne causing chaos, mostly to Nikki, yet in this segment Kohaku and Rinne team up to lovingly bully HiMERU and its the best. Its. its everything I’ve ever wanted and more. I have a full gallery of the group’s antics right here (since I can’t embed every picture into this post, it would get way too long, but i adore this moment) but I can’t even begin to express how great this is when it comes to showcasing Crazy:B’s current dynamic. At this point, the unit is close enough to each other that they feel at ease to fool around on stage. These clearly aren’t staged as they seem to follow the choreo yet there’s aspects that seem very organic such as HiMERU’s small jab at Kohaku with his admittedly very cute smile and Rinne barging in on the two’s play. This is further backed up by how awkward HiMERU and Kohaku’s choreographed movements are, as if the performance barged into their moment. Even HiMERU and Rinne’s exchange is very reminiscent of Rinne’s antics during Party Bee though HiMERU handles these provocations in vastly different ways from Nikki. These small moments are organic, fun, and a small window into what the current dynamic between the unit is like.

The chorus certainly doesn’t disappoint either with so many good story telling beats. Throughout the chorus its very evident that Crazy:B is still a unit of individualists, though these individualists have learned to work together to create a performance that they alone as one person could never hope to create. They each get a chance to sing a small solo but their movements tell a different story, one that meshes very well with the whole. Instead of riling up the crowd like they did in Crazy Roulette, the unit instead uses their dance to entice the audience, sticking to the center of the stage and preforming as a collective, very rarely moving to the wings. That transition from individual to collective is such a satisfying change, and it speaks to how Crazy:B has developed trust with one another, knowing that the unit is there to cover if they ever make any mistakes.

Arguably, the best thing about this MV is the sheer number of genuine smiles that are on their faces. I have around 30 screenshots of just their smiles, a portion which can be found here, and the rest I’m willing to share if anyone just asks damn it. The amount of precious and pure smiles in this performance is staggering that my measly 30 screenshots is a simple fraction of how many beautiful smiles there are. For the first time, you get the feeling that they’re having fun up on stage. It really reminds me of Knights and their own growth and how they came together as a unit as well. In terms of growth, Crazy:B has gone through probably the most alongside Valkyrie and their progression from an individualistic and fragmented group made out of duty and convenience to a family is such a joy to watch 

Here’s the curious thing through. HiMERU still keeps his distance away from anyone. Even in the group shot, he isn’t as close with anyone as everyone and shies away from Rinne’s attempts at invading his personal space. Notice how HiMERU is right beside Rinne in the first screenshot, but quickly moves forward very quickly even through its clear that Rinne is attempting a hug. Even in the second screenshot, as they invade Kohaku’s space, HiMERU still keeps his distance, simply poking his head in to follow with the choreography while Rinne and Nikki bounce towards Kohaku. (Though this is can also be explained as HiMERU respecting personal space, something Crazy:B isn’t all to fond of doing in general) Nonetheless, its clear that he is enjoying himself, and his movements are much more energetic and expressive compared to the previous performances, he’s still more conservative when compared to the other members.

One final observation I had was how down to earth Rinne could be at times. At some points, he seems lost in thoughts, acting like HiMERU at times. These are very few, only appearing twice if I’m not wrong, but they are followed with Rinne “harassing” his unit mates. This leads me to believe that there is something on his mind and his heart isn’t fully in the performance. I have no idea as to the reason why this may be the case, but I hope it’s addressed in the coming event. I’ll talk about about my own hypothesizes in the next segment though

Finally, we’re finished with Honeycomb Summer. I thoroughly enjoyed the MV and it was absolutely brimming with so many details that make me so excited for the coming event. The growth showcased in this one performance is phenomenal and awe inspiring. I’m really impressed by the people who modeled and programmed the MV, it’s no easy feat to create such subtle expressions and dynamic movements.

Okay, so we’re in the final stretch here. I’d like all of you to take a moment to listen to your body and attend to anything you need to do. Maybe stretch a bit, drink some water, talk with someone, take a small break. Nikki is cheering you on as we enter the final segment.

Alright so this final section will be my thoughts on what’s going to happen in the future. The main topic on the table will be: So what I am hoping to see in the new event? bc let’s be real, HappyEle likes to throw us curveballs, we won’t actually know what happens in these events until the come out

My first and most selfish wish is for Shuffle Units to be addressed and how being in AtoZ affected Nikki. Looking at both Honeycomb Summer and Date Plan A to Z, Nikki is genuinely happy in both instances. I’d love to see how being in AtoZ made him realize that how he can help change his own unit into an environment that he can genuinely have fun with.

On that note, something that would be really cool would be Crazy:B teasing Kohaku over his partnership with Mikejimaman and being a part of Double Face at the same time with Crazy:B. I’d also like to know how throwing GFK off the stage flew with the rest of the idol world, but we’re most likely not getting that haha.... Actions have consequences guys, I just want to see those consequences come into play.

Something else I’d love to see is Hiiro and Rinne, how their new dynamic has impacted them and the people around them, and how they themselves interact with each other on a daily basis. I’d like to think that Rinne’s odd behavior in the MV is because he’s hit a snag with Hiiro, but we won’t know until the event actually comes out

Finally, can we please have more HiMERU lore. For all the guessing I’m like to do and digging I do in accordance to my own experiences, seeing things that I remember and speculate both becoming canon and getting jossed from hell to back is something i eagerly look forward to. Please HappyEle give us the HiMERU crumbs. They probably won’t though, considering that we recently got a HiMERU feature scout and some lore there :p

And with that, we have reached the end of a very long post. I don’t blame you if rn your expression is like Kohaku or HiMERU, it was very long for the both of us. I think I’ve said all that I wanted to, so any closing thoughts would just be reiterations of what was already said earlier. All I have to say is, Thank you for sticking through this long post, please ask me any questions you might have, and I hope y’all have a good day.

Thanks~

[velveteencurtains]

evermore first impressions!

willow - GIRL EUEJDNSKJDJEJD LOST IN YOUR CURRENT LIKE A PRICELESS WIINE!!!!! TAKE MY HAND!!! WRECK MY PLANS!!! THATS MY MAN!!!!!! girl this is so fcuking GOOD! gonna be 100% honest the 1 is a better album opening but this is so fucking good you guys. life was a willow and it bent right to your wind!!! ID COME BACK STRONGER THAN A 90’S TREND???? EVERY BAIT AND SWITCH WAS A WORK OF ART??? SHES SICK SHES REALLY SICK I SWEAR. the way she sings “that’s my man!” yes ma’am yes ma’am!!!!!! the parallel between “I knew you stepping on the last train” and then “you know my train could take you home” SHES SICK YOUR HONOR SHES SICK

champagne problems - okay we love a piano opener. i’m so conflicted on what i think this song is gonna be about. MORE TRAIN LYRICS GIRLIE. this really is this is me trying’s older, sadder sister. “our group of friends/don’t think we’ll say that word again” MA’AM??? SHE WOULD HAVE MADE SUCH A LOVELY BRIDE SUCH A SHAME SHES FUCKED IN THE HEAD??????? IM LOSIJG MY FUCKIJG MIND. taylor and joe wrote this together? we love a couple with shared mental illnesses

gold rush - jack antonoff do not let me down. GIRL THE HARMONIES AT THE VERY BEGINNING JUST GIVE ME A MINUTE. okay I can definitely see what they meant by this song being about being lost in a daydream, the juxtaposition between the chorus and the verses is AMAZING. this is just gorgeous’s older sister huh???? “ocean blue eyes/looking in mine/i feel like i might sink and drown and die” and “eyes like sinking/ships on waters/so inviting/i almost jump in”

‘tis the damn season - i can’t tell if i want this song to be christmassy or not. OH SO THIS IS JUST HOLIDATE. TAYLOR JUST WATCHED HOLIDATE AND WROTE A SONG ABOUT IT. this is a continuation of tim mcgraw, argue with the wall. NO BC TIM MCGRAW IS ABOUT LIKE A LOVE FROM HIGH SCHOOL AND THIS IS LIKE COMING HOME FROM COLLEGE AND REUNITING WITH THEM BC YOURE BOTH DEPRESSED AND LONELY

tolerate it - jesus christ i’m not emotionally ready for this. STOP THIS IS THE PRELUDE TO BETTER MAN. LIKE BETTER MAN IS AFTER SHES ALREADY LEFT BUT THIS IS BEFORE WHEN SHES STUCK AND KNOW SHE DESERVES BETTER BUT SHE JUST TAKES IT IM GONNA CRYYYYYYYYYYY. okay but i’m imagining the babe music video and that whole of like the doting housewife who gave up everything for her husband and does everything to make him happy but he just does not appreciate it at all and he doesn’t see how much his indifference hurts her. @taylorswift mv now. honestly? loved that but as a track 5 it’s pretty weak

no body, no crime - I PREDICTED THIS WAS GONNA BE MY TOP SONG ON THE ALBUM LETS SEE IF I’M RIGHT. GIRL THE SIRENS AND “HE DID IT” AS THE FIRST LINES?? THEN THE COUNTRY INSTRUMENTAL??? TAYLOR HAS FINALLY GIVEN ME A GOOD OLD FASHIONED “MURDERED MY CHEATING HUSBAND” COUNTRY SONG HELL YESSSSSSS. OH THE WIFE IS MISSING???? NOT GONE GIRLLLLLLLLL MISS TAYLOR CHANNELING AMY DUNNE HERE!!!!! OH SHUT UPPPPPP SHES A LESBIAN WITH ESTE’S SISTER AND THEY COVERED UP HIS MURDER AND NOW THEYRE GONNA LESBIAN TOGETHER MISS TAYLOR

happiness - okay miss happiness you’ve got a lot to live up to but let’s do this. NOT THE MIRRORBALL PARALLEL “i was dancing when the music stopped” and “when no one is around, my dear/you’ll find me on my tallest top toes/spinning in my highest heels, love” NOT THE IDEA OF CHANGING YOURSELF JUST TO KEEP SOMEONE BY YOUR SIDE IM GONNA SOB taylor please stop this i cant emotionally handle any of this. girl this is the prelude to tolerate it which is the prelude to better man

dorothea - okay so seven’s older sister? so dorothea and whoever this singer is were besties when they were teens and then dorothea moved away and now the singer misses her former best friend and also first love and also they’re lesbians yeah it’s gay it’s so gay. taylor i’m literally begging you from the bottom of my fucking soul please give us a music video with two girls please miss swift i ask of you this one (1) thing

coney island - see i thought this was gonna be seven’s older sister when the tracklist was announced so now idk what to expect! JESUS OKAY I KNOW IT SAYS “feat. The National” IN THE TITLE BUT I FORGOT AND I GOT SCARED BY HIS VOICE. NOT A FUCKIJG CAR ACCIDENT TAYLOR IM REALLY SORRY I RRALIZE YOU ARE YOUR OWN PERSON AND I NEED TO STOP CONNECTING YOU TO HARRY BUT REALLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. okay anyway here’s my theory hear me out: This is dorothea’s husband who’s confused why his high school sweetheart wife doesn’t love him anymore and why she’s now hanging out with her old high school best friend again damn that’s weird they’re like really super close that’s super odd. anyway that’s just a theory I actually don’t really know what this songs about! miss swift is too smart for me

ivy - stop this song is so sweet!!!!!! i feel like this is getaway car’s sister! i need to stop doing that i know it gets annoying but really honestly it is! NO NO NO THIS IS DOROTHEA’S PERSPECTIVE WHEN SHE HAS AN AFFAIR WITH HER HS BESTIE AND HER HUSBAND STARTS TO FIND OUT GUYS IVE FIGURED IT OUTTTTTTT. WAIT WAIT WAIT THE HS BESTIE IS FROM NO BODY NO CRIME AND DOROTHEA IS ESTE’S SISTER GUYS IVE FIGURED IT THE FUCK OUT YOU GUYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS I GOT IT

cowboy like me - let’s yee and let’s haw ladies and gents. WHOS SINGING????? WHOS SINGING WITH HER???? taylor shut up for a second lemme hear who tf this is. AM I CRAZY OR IS THIS JOE???? i’m probably dumb. but am i? why can i not at all remember what joe’s voice sounds like rn. is that joe??? im so confused. maybe i’m super dumb and it’s really obvious and i’m just fucking stupid. it’s probably not joe it’s probably some country legend that everyone else knows bc they grew up yeeing and hawing and i’m but a wee city slicker but i’m gonna hold onto this stupid theory that it’s joe singing with her until someone proves me wrong later. also this song is fucking gorgeous where’s my cowboy hat not wearing one while listening to this song makes me feel sacrelige. okay wait tay and aaron wrote this one is it aaron? i’m sorry taylor i don’t listen to the national you can hate me if you want

long story short - god the production on this slaps!!!!! and the idea of being hurt before and then finding your love and being all about them and not even caring abt what happened before!!!!! god i’m gonna cry i’m gonna cry. NO MORE KEEPING SCORE NOW I JUST KEEP YOU WARM?????? taylor really said “oh you’re not in love and i’m gonna make you feel like SHIT ABOUT IT” taylor pls a petition to let us say “BITCH” after the last line so it’s “i survived...bitch!” okay pls and thank you

marjorie - oh is this about taylor’s grandma :(((( i knew she used her name but this feels like it’s really all about her. babey. this is so sweet. taylor i love you

closure - okay the opening??? slaps! literally! okay the production of this is interesting! okay i’m like trying to figure out who this is about....who cares this is so good. oh my god the distortion??? it just underlines the anger of it all so perfectly and i love

evermore - exile hive let’s GOOOO. please be an exile pt 2 pls be an exile pt 2. so odd to me because, as a whole, this actually feels like a way more happy and optimistic album than folklore did, yet the title comes from the line “i had a feeling so peculiar/that this pain would be for/evermore”. OKAY BON IVERRRRRR. the violence of the dog days? that’s my next instagram caption thanks taylor. NOT A DUET SECTION AGAIN LIKE IN EXILE TAYLOR PLEASE I CANT HANDLE THISSSSSSS. “we always walked a very thin line” AND “is there a line that we could just go cross?” THE PARALELLELLLLRJSNDBBD. I’m gonna die for this I really think. okay so she ends it on this pain wouldn’t last evermore so that’s good

overall? this is a masterpiece. miss swift has done it again. folklore aoty 2021 and evermore aoty 2022. no body, no crime is really THAT BITCH. i need a mv miss swift! okay bye gonna go cry over this

update: after listening all night i feel like i need to point out that i’m stupid and thought este was the mistress and the singer was the wife when in fact ESTE is the wife in no body, no crime. SO addendum to my theory: este and dorothea were besties in hs then dorothea left and got married and so did este but este’s hubby cheated so then este’s friend murders him and she’s cool w it, then dorothea and her husband move back home and este and dorothea reconnect and realize their long hidden feelings for one another, dorothea leaves her husband and she and este run away together

ANOTHER UPDATE: ‘TIS THE DAMN SEASON IS FROM DOROTHEA’S POINT OF VIEW!!!!!!!! WHEN SHE COMES HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS AND SHES SINGING TO ESTE!!!!!! CJNECNSJSNNDN

[osamuniichann]

Map of the Soul: 7

After a ~315 day drought without new music and a comeback from the legends, we are finally back with MOTS: 7! It been a hot minute since ive done a album review (solely for myself LMAO) so lets get back into it bc this album is a home run

Interlude: Shadow. Here we have the extended version of the interlude. can i just say that the lyrics to this masterpiece are so real and true. its not suga speaking nor is it agust d, this is min yoongi speaking of his internal conflict with the celebrity life, which is heartbreaking. on another note, the visuals of the mv are stunning and the ending--dont u just wanna go apeshit??? truly a great addition to the album!

Black Swan. sister black swan has been with us for a month-ish now? it still bumps. HARD. i blasted this to and from my drive to work to the point where i was scared if id get sick of the song but that didnt happen. the way how its hard to pinpoint when and where a member would sing/rap because they INTENTIONALLY wanted the voices to blend as if they were one body. this is the group’s narrative on how no matter how passionate one is on a certain craft, when they lose that drive, its like a death. and it is up to themselves to spark that love and interest once again. a very relatable story across various media, talents, skills, etc.

Filter. When I first heard that this was a jimin solo showcasing the many sides of Jimin, i thought that it was going to be a sad ballad to kind of follow the theme mots: 7 seemed to give off; thought that it would talk about how he has to force personas onto himself to appeal to the masses, but it is the complete opposite. Jimin is all the faces he puts on, he can be cute, sweet, and caring Jimin but he is also a sexy, flirty young man that can attract any living being. how he switches from falsettos to a lower register voice is beyond me, what a versatile one he is! <3

My Time. Moving onto jungkook’s solo, I knew the lyrics were going to be sad especially when it seems to compare himself to others his age. How he speaks about how fast time runs for him, how his childhood and current life is not of the average 22 year old (LIKE UM HERE I AM, SAME AGE AS JUNGKOOK AND IM NORMAL AF while he’s out here breaking records?? WOW). but the life of jungoo can be a bit overwhelming, completely understandable. I just want our boi JK to know that he can be himself and live freely despite such different circumstances. On another note, the groove of this track is so GOOD. it reminds me of Ari and ugh i LIVE for this jam

Louder Than Bombs. When the track started, I could totally tell Troye Sivan helped produce it, it has such a unique sound that only Troye would use. It sounds like this song would totally be on a movie soundtrack IDK WHY. like, i can picture it during an apocalypse movie sldkjg im not completely sure what the meaning is to the song (bc im big stupid) but i feel like its a track saying that no matter the struggles, they will continue to sing confidently, strongly, and wholly to us endlessly. beautiful, just beautiful.

ON. Moving on to the title track of MOTS: 7! I’m very picky about strong anthem-type songs but ON is actually p addicting HAHA There’s a background sound that repeats in the back that sounds like Sans from Undertale, aint that wild LMAO but anyways, the Manifesto Film was crazy good. The drums, the band, the breakdown of it all? UNBELIEVABLE. Also, JK’s vocals during the bridge? H O W. That breakdown tho...oof, that was amazing. They still dance with the thirst that rookie bts would and i think thats why ppl are so drawn to them no matter how many years pass. Fun fact: the choreographer of ON as well as Dionysus actually is from my city in Hawaii and we went to the same high school THATS WILD. the talent she holds!

UGH! Rap line ATE this shit, are we KIDDING. An ode to all the hate comments that we receive, u can see how fed up they are. They made POINTS and we all agree, its the damn law. The way how they opened up with a gunshot, we knew it was coming. Everyone joked about how we bout to hear some gunshots on this album, well they threw ALL of it on this track. Can i just say that Hobi’s verse tho? it hits different, it really do. When they went “ahem, ahem. ahem, ahem-ahem, YOUR AHEM. AHEM-AHEM--” OOOOOUGH i felt that shit!! god, imagine this in concert...the building aint ready!

0:00 (Zero O’ clock). Now we have the vocal line track, we knew they were bout to present some vocals. Great sound, slow and reflecting. Not the first track I’d listen to but it is a great listen. The lyrics tho get to me. The way how they comfort us and say that life can be rough but you can be happy. no matter what happens, with the turning of the clock to 0:00, its a brand new day and we can make the day better. what a powerful message that all of us need to hear once in a while. we will be happy guys, we deserve to be.

Inner Child. Tae’s solo which is a message to his young self. I expected a slow ballad filled with his warm vocals reminiscent of Winter Bear, 4 o’ clock, and Scenery but boi was I wrong. He has this sunset glow voice that wraps u so warmly and the sound is just so happy, pure, and innocent. Its a hopeful message to his younger self on how we will change and be the amazing person we want to or will be. I was sobbing at this song, I tell u. It was 2:00 am in the morning and I was sobbing into my pillow. Imagine comforting your past self that everything will be okay and to take ur hand, it will be all worth it in the end. When he sang “ur my boy, my boy, my boy, my boy!” Ugh...the tears!

Friends. When I heard this was a vmin duet expressing their friendship with each other, I knew it was going to be so emotional! I didn’t expect such a fun, poppy sound tho. They truly are soulmates, the love they have for each other is so wholesome and real, it truly exhibits the love I have for my friends--they’ve been with me through thick and thin, during happy and sad times; the amounts of serotonin they give me is just HHHH. The way how Tae and Jimin have been friends since high school until now is just ugh...we love it. Towards the end when they started singing “you are my soulmate!” towards each other, i started sobbing so hard because WOW. the shivers i felt, this song made me so happy and full! 

Moon. Next we have Jin’s solo which is an ode to us army’s. And on another perspective, this is a song from the moon (jin) to the Earth (army)--i have tears in my eyes. The lyrics especially got me in a chokehold and made me sob, the way how he says that he will always be by our side no matter what, the same way how we are there for him...god. The chorus really gets to me, it feels so happy and thankful and I just want to tell Jin that I will forever follow him and the boys. They’ve been with me for years now and I will continue to support, love, and listen to them. Ily to the moon and back, our moon.

Respect. I didn’t expect a Namgi duet but HERE WE ARE. Goddd when i heard that i was SO EXCITE. They’ve known each other for +10 years now and they never miss the chance to tell everyone that they’ve been friends for that long. Not @ how they disliked each other at first but grew to be so mf close, to the point where their family. Ughhh, im so uwu rn. Im so happy, so so happy that Nams started it with AYO SUGA; i SCREAMED. Also, i heard that they recorded it in one take and i could see how much fun they had--especially considering that their rap styles are completely different. Even tho in the song they joke about not knowing what the word Respect means, we know...we just KNOW the high amounts of respect they have for each other. As they mentioned before, Yoon’s respects towards Nams’ leadership and care towards everyone and Nams’ respect towards Yoon’s love and passion for music and producing. Peak comedy is Yoongs overloading on autotune during his parts to the point where its intentional. Bless Namgi.

We are Bulletproof: The Eternal. I felt like a CLOWN when this track started. Like everyone, i thought we were going to have a third installment similar to that of the strong, hip-hop, gunshot-filled part 1 and 2 of we are bulletproof, but we were met with soft vocals and rap. The lyrics tho get to me. This truly was a song about their entire journey and i felt like I experienced all years with them. They’ve been through so much and the way how they sang “we are we are together/forever bulletproof!” They are proud of where they came from and it has stuck with them till now. They are such real people...i cry. ALSO the “We were only seven, but we have you all now.” Whenever i see pictures of their debut fanmeets/concerts vs now its just crazy. imagine singing as an entire being during concerts when they start “OOOOH OH OHH” im so immensely proud of the feats they’ve reached and im excited on what they do next! <3

Outro: Ego. The way how he started it with the fitness gram pacer test just like in previous albums, ugh what a throwback! this song is such a Hobi track, its fun, dance-inducing and its just so FEEL GOOD. the way how he switches flows and is capable of doing so is *chef’s kiss* the way how he speaks about the path he takes is difficult but he doesnt regret it...SOBS also the mv??? UGH SO CUTE. the flashbacks too;; i cry

ON (feat. Sia). With this track, there’s not much extra I can say, all my opinions still stand with the original track wit ot7. I jokingly told my friend that if Sia is gonna be on the track “hey nanana’ing” the same why Halsey was only “oh my my my’ing” i will ctfu. and...welp, that was what happened. I do love Sia tho so props to her!

Overall: I initially thought that MOTS: 7 was going to be a dark, ballad-filled album but it was anything but. It had so much fun songs, the lyrics are again, so deep and meaningful--it pulls at your heartstrings. It felt so raw, personal, emotional, and i love it in all its being. The boys will continue to amaze me no matter what they put out and i forever and endlessly will support and love them the same way they do for us. MOTS: 7 is a masterpiece and im in love

[warmau]

Ooh can you do an au base of nct dreams' go mv?? Like them as rebellious teens or something like that?? It's fine if you're not comfortable with it, Still Thank You tho!!!

futuristic rebellious teens is something i can do!! (also all the people asking for bad boy!dreamies,,,,this is the closest i can give you LOL)

Mark 

leader of the “lost boys”, which is what the group of teenagers call themselves 

basically, they’re runaways that are anti-government and since they dont have anyone like parents or authorities to answer to - the job of protecting everyone fell onto the oldest

and,,,,as much as mark doesnt look the toughest or the scariest out of all of them in a long run - he is the most stable

with a natural knack for getting everyone out of sticky situations

and he’s no hacker like jaemin or salesman like haechan - he is the person everyone turns to for big decisions

like when they almost lost renjun in a street fight with some other teens,,,or when he was alerted that jisung was caught stealing and needed to somehow get bailed out 

mark, unlike any of the other members of lost boys, started off with a pretty normal teenhood 

but after the world started focusing less on humans and more on tech and money

he couldnt take it and promised he’d do something to help the world realize that being plugged in all the time was no way to live

he’s got “lost boys” tattooed on the inside of his wrist and even if he doesnt say it outloud - he’d gladly give himself up to save any of his other members

you’re kind of a rouge runaway - you don’t belong to a street group or anything like the “lost boys”

but you too aren’t exactly fond of authority - made obvious by the way you stand out

in a flood of other teens all dressed in their prim school uniforms or boring, copy and paste outfits for going out

you’ve got rips on your worn out jacket and your nose is stuck in a book rather than your phone

mark notices you right away - there’s empty seats on either side of you on the train

and everyone else keeps glancing suspicious looks your way that you don’t even bat an eyelash too

 “what a delinquent” “probably dropped out of school” “id never want to end up like that!”

are comments being thrown around - but you dont flinch

mark, on the otherhand, cant stand to hear it anymore

he makes his way through the crowded train and sits down beside you

without even looking up you mumble “don’t pity me. i know what they’re saying.”

mark is shocked at how easily you’ve seen right through his intentions,,,,but he doesnt get up

instead he tilts his head down to read the title of the book in your hand and smiles

“i remember that book when i was back in canada”

this sparks your interest, you move your gaze toward his and mark notices the pretty color of your eyes

“canada? how is it there?”

mark shrugs “i havent been back in a while.”

you shut your book, resting it on your lap

mark wonders if the bag with you is full of more books - you look like the type to carry pen and paper in a world where everything is digitalized

but that’s not bad,,,,mark likes that

“do you like reading? and not on your phone, i mean books.”

mark flushes a little in response, “i do but - ever since all the bookstores closed i havent really, you know,,,,been able to find any”

as he guessed, you fish another book out of the bag with you and plop it in his hands

somewhere in the train people have started whispering “oh now there’s two of them? two troublemakers up to no good!”

but you and mark both ignore them

“i dont know if you like historical fiction, but its all i have to give you now.”

mark touches the book, it’s been a long time since he’s held one. the last time he was in school, the textbooks had been chucked out for ipads

“ill be sure to return it to you.” 

you see the tattoo on mark’s hand and think ‘lost boys? ive seen that name around before’

the next stop is mark’s,,,,,but when he asks you where you’re going

you shrug and motion vaguely “i dont really go anywhere. i just,,,,,,,float around kinda,,,,,,”

the train begins to slow as it pulls into the station and just as the doors open, mark takes a hold of your wrist

he tugs you up and you stumble as he pulls you out of the train

“well then, why don’t you come with me.”

you stand and the wind from the train leaving blows you and marks hair everywhere

you both laugh 

the only two people in the whole station that are looking at one and other and not at their phones

and you nod

“ok, ill follow you for now.”

you say and mark lets his hand shyly slip from your wrist and into your palm, squeezing as he holds it warmly

Haechan

he’s nicknamed “the salesman” by the rest of the lost boys 

due to his ability to appeal to anyone and everything

in a world where everyone has access to the highest forms of technology 

to flying cars, personal androids, hologram phones

haechans charm is a skill both forgotten by most, but also when he turns it on he could sell someone a flip phone from the 00′s and make it look like its better than the current iphone52

for their group, haechan uses his skills mostly to buy from the black market 

the group doesnt have a real means of making money - but jaemin’s hacking ability, renjun’s capability with his hands, and chenle’s agility and fighting skills - can be sold for the right jobs 

and in many situations haechan has to figure out how to trade those talents for daily necceassities

although there are a couple of cafes with workers who are just,,,,,quite smitten with haechan’s adorable face,,,,that every now and then he can score some free good on the sides

but what really matters is when the group needs something like medicine 

or tech that has otherwise been banned by the government

haechan is the one to get it 

your father was an avid collector of old gaming systems, and after he went missing you inherited the boxes and boxes of all this old wiring and consoloes

and that’s how you got into selling it on the black market - after learning that a lot of it had been banned

so ,,, as a seller ,, you knew haechan

he didn’t have a bad reputation or anything - but he was different

for one thing, he had the words ‘lost boy’ tattooed below his ear and out of the usual customers on this market

he was pretty young,,,,,,,,and pretty different

you’d heard he was even friends with a renowned hacker and a teenager who was skilled in martial arts

both things that you just,,,,didn’t expect from the normal person

and although you’d never done business with him - you were surprised one afternoon to see him show up at your front door

your apartment,,,,,was covered in boxes from your fathers storage

haechan looked around, picking up this and that till he finally stumbled across some part of a system and went 

“this is what jaemin wants, are you selling it?”

you nod, “everything has a price.”

haechan grins, “i like the way you talk. so - how much?”

you name the amount and haechan’s grin falters

“and you’re not interested in,,,,,,anything but money? i know a guy who could hack into just about anything?”

you shake your head, “i dont need a hacker, i need to feed myself.”

haechan shrugs, “fair enough.”

he takes out a holographic card, the blue flashing screen lights up and the currency transfers from his name to yours

you thank him and haechan looks around a little more till he heads for the door

“by the way, do you live by yourself?”

you look down, your fathers disappearance has left you abandoned but you don’t really like to talk about it

the look on your face gives haechan enough of an answer

“you should come work with me, you have so much material and im assuming you’re good with tech too?”

you fidget, you’ve never really been one to be social

so being invited to ,,,, work with someone,,,,,especially haechan - you don’t know what to say

but suddenly you feel a warm hand on your shoulder and you look up to see haechan smiling

“c’mon, im not trying to bribe you or anything - but i think you’d be better off with us then all alone!”

you freeze a little,,,,,but haechan’s touch is warm

and his eyes are pouring into yours in a way that,,,you’ve never experienced before

“a,,are you only asking me to join because you want all of my dads stuff?”

haechan sighs, “you know - if it was anyone else in the world, id probably say yes. but it’s you and,,,,,,,,i like you,,,,,so no. im asking you to joing because you’re you.”

“yo-you like me?!?”

haechan grins, “i do, and as much as i like to think my charm works on people - you’ve successfully ignored me for a while until now.”

you furrow your eyebrows

“ignored?”

haechan starts counting on his fingers “there was that time i saw you with that other tech seller and i said hi and you just looked past me, ive also complimented your skills in tech before but you didn’t even look up at me and then-”

you put your hand over haechans to make him stop and to your surprise he interlocks your fingers

“so, will you join?”

you look around,,,,your home is nothing but a storage unit full of wires and memories of a painful past

and haechan is standing in the middle of it all like a beckon of light

so instead of pulling your hand away you nod, and let haechan pull you out into the bright world 

Jeno

the tagger of the group 

has always had an affinity for art, he’s actually the one who designed the lost boy tattooes

his is in a loop around his ankle bone

and even though the future has shifted its focus from man-made art to digitally created sculptre’s and paintings 

jeno enjoys working with his hands

and some of his work is graffiti 

mostly because the lost boys are rebels - and they cant just always be silently lurking in the shadows

so every now and then jeno has a “tagging project” 

where he makes the lost boys known through graffiti and sometimes it’s more than just the name of the group

it’s art,,,,,,it’s whatever jeno believes encompasses the values of the ‘lost boys’

you’ve always admired taggers,,,,,

you come from the upperclass - the people who embraced technological advancement and threw away all the hand painted, man made art that was passed down through generations

as a kid you remembered hearing the names of famous artists,,,,but as you got older

all you saw was digital art

no one talked about the movements, about modernism - impresionists

no one wanted to study the old art of egypt, of greece, of china

when one of your parents found you sketching to yourself on the terrace, they’d ripped the paper violently out of your hands

and replaced it with a tablet

“just tell it what you want to draw and it’ll do it for you”

you hated it, and whenever you saw tagged art out on the street - knowing it was drawn by someone 

by someone real, not some system built into a computer - it made you so happy

so to your amazement, you couldnt believe that you were seeing a tagger

when you stumbled upon jeno, hunched near a back alley wall - finishing up his new art for the lost boys

“i know you!” 

you couldnt help to blurt out, jeno turning to you - ready to dash for it 

but instead of the police he saw you, wide eyed and staring right at his art 

with a look that jeno,,,,had never really seen before 

is that,,,,admiration? 

you broke his thought as you stepped closer, touching the wall and jumping a bit

the paint was still wet and the tips of your fingers had turned red where you’d touched it

“im so sorry, i didn’t me-”

jeno smiles - he’s probably the least intimidating of the lost boys and he’s been told that his smile has some kind of power over people

instantly your nervousness calms and jeno hands you his brush

“you can just paint it over for me”

he suggests and when you touch the brush, a rush of electricity runs up your hand

it’s been so long since you’ve held a brush - let alone painted something by yourself

and jeno is watching you, careful and steady and realizes that like him

you’re a born artist

he lets you stay around to help him finish, even when the dark of night starts breaking into the morning

jeno steps back to admire your work and you notice that he isn’t wearing the usual clothes that you see around

from his ears dangle pretty jewelry that look as if they’re made from metal lying and simple things like paperclips or nails

he’s grinning and you see the way his jacket falls off his shoulders 

for a moment you think isn’t it possible that people can be art too?

when jeno turns to you he goes “you can’t tell anyone about this though, tagging is supposed to be anonymous,,,,”

jeno explains and you nod, slowly but then point out “but i always know your art from everyone elses. it’s distinct and unique,,,”

the flattery makes jeno’s heart skip

but before he can say much the familiar sound of sirens pull up down the street and jeno has to grab you and run so you two can get away without being seen

and when you both stop- pressed up together in another tight little alley you feel jeno’s heartbeat against your arm

it’s fast - probably from the running - but also probably from how close you two are ,,,,,,,,

“hey, if you want to do more art with my sometime,,,,ill be around. they’ll probably erase our tag by tomorrow so -”

you pull away from him when the coast is clear, but nod excitedly 

you pull out your holographic card, a small hologram that looks like you pops up and you tell it to transfer your data to jeno’s

he shyly waves you off and when you’re gone he pulls out his own holographic card

your hologram pops up again and jeno thinks the same thing you were a while ago

people,,,really can be art too,,,, 

Jaemin

a hacker

was supposed to actually work for the government as an intern engineer but ,,,, he decided to drop out of his prestigious high school and start well

hacking the government instead of protecting it 

he got into the lost boys when he met mark at a cafe - he thought mark was interesting

so naturally, he hacked into his holographic card only to understand that mark,,,,

really was hiding everything about himself quite well

so - after meeting with him (and apologizing for hacking him) jaemin joined

got his lost boy tattoo on the side of his finger 

he mainly hacks into large scale programs of the government that deal with citizen information

basically the government monitors people through the holograph card everyone carries around - and through their smartphones if they still have one

the lost boys believe that the government shouldnt have access to private info of people - because they exploit it

so jaemin’s whole task is to figure out how to shut down the whole system

of course,,,,that’s not going to happen in one sitting - he has to hack thousands of smaller networks

and gain information on governmental workers

and all without being traced so,,,,as usual he’s inside most of the time on the computer

he gets parts that haechan “buys” from people or that mark somehow manages to come by or that renjun builds

when the group needs extra funds he also sells his hacking ability under an alias on the black market

you are a well known hacker in the market as well - you and jaemi are probably the most sought out in the field

the only problem is ,,, you’ll do ANY job - even if it means working undercover for the government 

and jaemin disproves of that - so whenever you guys have contact he’s always like “you could do much better with your talents” and you’re like “im trying to put food on the table i dont care what my talents are used for”

and jaemin just,,,,cant get over your whole ‘i survive only for myself’ mentality 

it bothers him - he feels like there’s more to you,,,,that he just doesnt know

so one day - he decides he’s going to hack you 

and he knows he should feel guilty because hacking you is,,,,basically just doing what the government is already doing to others

but he’s just scared - what if something,,,,something bad is happening to you to make you this way

but of course - as soon as he attempts it

a billion firewalls pop up and his holographic card suddenly starts malfunctioning 

and suddenly there’s a message on his screen

and he doesnt even have to open it to know that your hologram is going to pop up and be like “jaemin. why are you hacking me?”

he freezes, “how do you know my name?”

you huff, “it wasn’t easy to guess. plus haechan has a big mouth. so,,,,why the sudden interest in my life?”

jaemin looks down, his dark eyes hovering over his keyboard until your hologram eggs him on to speak

“i just,,,i just wanted to know if everything is ok- recently ive heard you’ve been working with officials and i,,,,are you really ok with it for the money??”

it’s quiet on your end and jaemin waits until your hologram goes fuzzy - and then offline

and jaemin grabs at his holographic card, shaking it to see whats going on when another message appears

it’s an address

when jaemin arrives, you’re already there with a backpack over your shoulder

jaemin stares at it and then at you 

“what’s in there?”

“information.”

jaemin stares at it - then back at you

your face is half hidden by a facemask, you don’t make direct eye contact but jaemin can see

that you’ve got pretty features - that for some reason you’re trying to hide from him

he touches his own face, completely exposed to you and takes the backpack when you extend it

“don’t tell me you’re giving me the files the officials sent over to you-”

you shrug and jaemin can tell you’re smiling under the mask

“so you are a good person afterall,,,” he starts

and you look away,,,,suddenly your face is hot under the damn mask

when you and jaemin part ways 

jaemin is sure of whats in the bag - and when he gets back home all the lost boys crowd around him

and walla - all the files from the officials are in there

before he sits down to get to reading through some, jaemin finds a note stuck to one of the files

‘don’t try to hack me again. next time, just ask me out like a normal person’

jaemin blushes,,,,but picks up his holograph card - maybe you’ll be free on a weekend or something 

Renjun

his nicknames the “builder” 

he just,,,,really likes making things - and he can fix things as well

built a bike for haechan out of scrap garbage

fixes jaemin’s motherboards on the daily

chenle had asked for a staff to practice some martial arts with and it took renjun like two hours only to make it perfectly

he seems to just have the ability to touch something and understand how it works

but,,,like any lost boy,,, he doesnt exactly want to be building things and selling them for profit just to be used to hurt others

his lost boy tattoo is on the back of his neck

he really only talks to the lost boys - he doesnt really like making conversation with others

because he has a fear of,,,saying something and getting everyone else in trouble

but with his group he can definitely be a little ,,, sassy

“stop breaking things and making me fix them, and if you dont - learn to fix them yourself.”

“but renjun i cant fix-”

“but renjun is now gonna take a nap, goodnight!”

haechan is known for being the sociable one,,,,so he’s always the one going out getting everyone odd jobs or food

but one afternoon he asks renjun to go pick up some food from this cafe where one of the workers knows haechan

at first renjun refuses, he wants to stay home and tinker with these new electronics mark just brought to him

but it’s haechan - and even renjun cant lose an argument with him

so renjun ends up outside of this cafe after closing

where he meets you - he comes out of the back carrying a couple of brown bags full of extra food

and when renjun sees you - it’s like time stops

it’s been a while since renjun has looked at anyone and you - you look like,,,,,,,,,an angel

you bring the bags out and sigh sadly, “not a lot this time,,,,the owner is sort of one to me”

you say and hand them to renjun who almost drops them out of pure shock

“are you ok?”

you ask, helping him steady himself as you tuck your hair back and stare

renjun nods slowly

“by the way - who are you, haechan said that ‘the builder’ was going to come. is that you?”

again, all renjun can do is nod

you nod too “what do you build?”

“a-anything.”

your eyes go wide and renjun is taken by the color of them

“anything?! woah - that’s amazing!”

renjun can feel the weight of the bags - but once you say that it’s like they disappear and all he can feel and hear is your voice

“id love to see your creations sometime -”

you start, but a voice from inside calls you back in

you wave and renjun doesnt even have the strength to say anything back as he watch - like slow motion - you disappear inside

a couple of days pass and renjun feels like he cant build ANYTHING 

until,,,finally he starts a little something

and finds himself waiting outside the cafe one night as you come out with your bag over your shoulder

your holographic card in your hand, showing you the weather and what not

till you look up and rush over to renjun 

“oh - the builder! what’s up?”

renjun pulls something out of his pocket and sets it in your hand

you open it and ,,, out of metal wiring and whatnot is a butterfly

whose wings buzz slightly when you touch it and you look back up at renjun

“did you make this?”

“for you.”

renjun finally speaks and you flush, looking at it and grinning

“you really can build anything, this is so cute!”

renjun blinks and doesnt really know what to say until natrually he just goes

“you’re cuter”

you both get slightly embarrassed, but you tuck the butterfly safely into your bag and reach out for renjun’s hand

he lets you take it and doesnt even question where you’re going to take him

even this silhouette our back is beautiful 

he could look at it forever 

Chenle

he doesn’t have a real nickname,,,,but he’s kind of the brawn of the group

and believe me,,,,everyone looked at him on his first day and was like “you can fight? but you,,,,,you’re so skinny”

and chenle was like, try to land a punch on me then

no one could

and rather then strength, chenle has honed the ability of agility and stealth

and when needed - he’s a great person to be a bodyguard or protector 

because no one suspects him coming

other than his fighting ability though,,,,he can be scatter headed and has numerous times found himself lost in the city

having to call haechan or mark to get him

he has also done dumb things like tripped over alley cats or gotten himself accidentally bruised when he walked into a pole because he was too focused on this good looking cake in a store window

but that aside - chenle really is capable of some amazing things

his lost boy tattoo is on the part right below his ribcage

chenle also sometimes has a habit of sticking his nose into unsolicited business

so when you find yourself cornered - a group of other street teens are trying to get you to give over your holographic card so they can sell it 

well

chenle can’t just walk by

and ,,, although he does have the element of surprise there’s like five of these teens

and you know chenle is in trouble when he’s on the ground with a little bit of blood coming out of his nose

so you just toss your holographic card toward one of them and tell them to back off of him

happy with getting what they want, they leave you and chenle alone

you scramble over, checking his face here and there and panicking because

you cant take him to a hospital - you’re both street teens

and you dont have anything on you to stop the bleeding 

so all you can do is kind of hold your hand over chenle’s nose and tell him to tilt his head so it stops

and when he’s all good - just bruising and not bleeding

he looks at you and sheepishly goes

“,,,,,sorry you had to give up your holograph card”

you shrug “nothing important on it anyway.”

chenle looks at you, his clear skin riddled in red bruises and tiny cuts

and he feels bad just,,,,leaving you

after he tried to help but just ended up making things worse

so he invites you to come with him

you, of course, say no. you’re not going to join some stranger

even if this stranger is cute

and did try to help you

but chenle just rolls up his shirt (much to your shock - your hands go right up to your face to hide your eyes)

to show off the lost boys tattoo

and you’re like wait,,,i know that tattoo - you guys are that group against the government

and chenle is like yep! if you want, you can join us - i mean anyone who throws their holograph card away like that must not really like what the government is doing huh

and you shrug, you don’t care either way but ,,,the idea of belonging to a group instead of being all alone

is kind of nice

plus chenle ,,,, doesnt seem all that bad 

and when you guys show up together jaemin is like whose this and haechan is quick to question you

but chenle explains what happens and mark, ever the nice boy, lets you stay

out of curiosity, jisung comes over to talk to you and chenle shoos him away

“they’re with me”

jisung raises an eyebrow “aren’t they part of our group - so they’re with everyone?”

you blink confused, missing the spark in chenle’s eyes and the whisepred

“that’s not how i meant it jisung, now go away!”

jisung gets the message and scurries off, but you’re still ? until chenle is like OW geez this bloody nose hurts if only i could lay my head on someones lap,,,

you: you can lay your head on m-

chenle: thank you. 

the camera zooming in on haechan: corny

Jisung

the youngest and the ‘wild card’ of the group 

mark had forbid him from getting the lost boys tattoo because he’s a kid but jisung still managed to get it 

mark was mad but jeno pointed out that hey, unless it didn’t get infected or anything like that

his tattoo is right above his elbow

he’s a wild card because no one in the group really knows if jisung understands what the lost boy cause is

or if he just likes getting into it with other street groups and causing a ruckus 

out of everyone he likes piercings the best - knows a guy named ten in town who does them on the low

since society has kind of forbid people from having anything but their ears pierced

jisung looks wild with his hair a mess and his nose pierced

(again - the piercing did almost give mark a heartattack but jeno was again like at least it’s not his tongue right?)

(jisung definitely plans to get his tongue pierced though)

you’ve seen jisung around - he likes to cause trouble

alone or with his group

you see him a lot when you’re on your way to class, he likes to hang out with the tagger jeno

or sometimes you just see him trying to badmouth off to adults who tell him he looks ‘scary’

you try to ignore it - you don’t want to meddle with anything or anyone that could get you in trouble

but,,,,,jisung thinks you’re interesting

sometimes he’ll just end up walking beside you, leaning over to play with a strand of your hair

offers to carry your books which you just snatch away

he once asked you if you’d ever want to go see him get another piercing and you made a face

that you thought meant disgust - but which jisung called “just adorable”

and no matter how much you say he’s not your type

he’s the opposite of it

there is something magnetic about him

he’s nothing like other boys around 

and the one time some other dude had tried to come onto you in the street - jisung had showed up and made no big deal out of getting into the dudes face and telling him to

“get his dirty hands right off them”

you tried to act unimpressed,,,,but you were thankful and even let jisung keep his arm around you

the problem was,,,,you think after that,,,,you’ve actually fallen for jisung

so when he doesnt show up on your walk to class one day you start panicking 

and you go around - asking if anyone’s seen him

everyone asks why in the world you’re worried about a kid like him and you try to make excuses

until you leave a shop and bump right into jisung

who gives you a smile and flicks your forehead lightly and goes

“heard you were all worried about me, does that mean someone is in love?”

you huff and brush past him

“i just wanted to make sure you didn’t get yourself killed -”

jisung pulls you around a corner and you look around with paranoia that someone might see 

but jisung just makes you look back at him and before you know it he’s kissing you

and you squirm and he pulls back and goes “don’t like it?”

and you just cant hide the look on your face so you go

“it’s fine - but do it somewhere private i dont want the whole world to see!”

“what, that you’re kissing a lost boy? a dirty street kid?”

you push at him gently, but jisung abides by your wish and pulls you somewhere quieter where he kisses you again - softly

and you think fine whatever so you do like him and he is a good kisser

and as long as no one finds out,,,it should be alright,,,,,,maybe?!?

jisung that day coming back home with a big goofy smile on his face, jaemin just turns around and is like

“i hacked your holograph - says you kissed your crush today.”

jisung: “sTOP haCKING MY LIFE,,,,but yeah i kissed them and jaemin. i think im in love”

haechan: oh no an idiot in love the world better watch out jkjk 

[dreammutual-remade]

idol!you and lucas

request: please do a bullet scenario about lucas and his gf both being sm idols - anon

word count: 2.6k 

a/n: first of all,,,, this gif hurts me badly, seCOND OF ALL im so sorry for the inactivity !!  I have finals this week and I graduate really soon n ive just been v busy !!! also I had hella writers block trying to finish this ish up but I hope u like it anon !!!!its a lil hard for me to write as an idol just because thats such a Wildt lifestyle but I did my best ily

warnings: cursing n also some crying because god knows all of our boys prolly have during their idol days :(((((((

what’s up butter cup

let’s dive tf in

as a pre-warning thingy i’m making you a singer so i’m very sorry if you can’t sing i can’t either bby

alright so this story begins when you’re not even 16 years old and you audition for a bunch of companies

tbh you didn’t think you were /that/ good at singing or dancing but ???

all the companies wanted you??? you got offers from JYP and SM and Pledis ????? go off queen

we stan

anyways

you decide to go with SM since they produced leGENDS SHINEE

FUCK I LOVE THOSE GUYS

(binch if u went to JYP u literally could have been in TWICE ?!?/&.&. ABSOLUTE LEGENDS UR LOSS THOT)

also because you just think that’ll be best for you ?? idk we don’t judge here (i already did though i’m So Sorry)

on your first day as a trainee you’re in search of the female dorms and you just can’t find them

eventually you run into this,,,, Gang Of Adolescent Boys

they’re wearing dorky ass muscle tees and keep saying shit about “foreign swaggers”

(.... y’all already know who it is sjdkdkd)

and you’re Meek and New and Small so you’re like um, hellowherearethegirlsdormsplease

okay there’s four of them and they’re all fckin huge except for one

the Biggest One with the american accent points you in the right direction and you try to scurry away but end up smacking into the Second Biggest One’s arm because he moved in your way on accident ouchie

“god lucas why don’t you just run the poor girl over”

“hYUNG PLEASE”

“hehehhehe i’m just kiddin”

and you just kind of mumble that it’s fine and go on your way

okay so you train for three yEARS before your debut

and you def come out of your shell alright like you’re Extroverted and whatnot

you still see those boys and even make friends with mark and donghyuck and the Foreign Members

but the entirety of the group you met has debuted except Lucas

you’re not close but you wave and say hi when you see each other

you turn pink everytime from Emotions and also Holding Your Breathe Due To Anxiety

and he was cute years ago but he’s only gotten prettier with age dude

they recently dyed his hair to give him some Blonde Stuff and he looks reaLLY GOOD

LIKE TO THE POINT WHERE U HAVE TROUBLE LOOKING HIM IN THE EYE

but eventually you’re like hey now i’m a grown woman i can handle this giant childish man !!! quit that @ emotions

alright so you debut like, days before him no lie

you’re a solo artist bc idk

red velvet was full 😔🤟

anyways you’ve been filming the video for the past couple weeks and the concept is sort of filmy and shimmery like old sparkly anime water u kno ?

and you’re wearing similar stuff to what ten was wearing in the new heroes mv (BIG OOF) except less warm toned ?

like swishy sort of see through white shirts and spandex underneath

you’re a Beautiful and Skilled dancer so they have u all over the place with this choreo

on the FLOOR on the WALL in the AIR

no joke they had you in a harness doing cool swirly shit in the air this is the stuff of legends my g

but like the inside of SM ? is very cold

if you’re not filming you’re bundled up in a blanket and trying to rub the goosebumps out of your arms and legs

because you have to look all smooth and flawless for filming and those are two things goosies are not

luckily the song wasn’t a huge ballad because it’s rather hard to belt out long ass notes when you’re upside down lmao

anyways, the song is a bop and the mv is beautiful and you are wearing minimal clothing and although these are all nice things but also

RECIPE FOR DISASTER

the filming is almost done thank GOD

you’re taking a break from filming and you go out in the hall in your costume to go get another water bottle because ain’t nobody around to give a pre debut thot a water bottle 🤧🤧

your arms are wrapped around yourself when lucas jogs up behind you and throws his jacket around you??

literally throws it like you made an oof noise

“um ,? thank you that was aggressive”

“i knOw i’m sorry it’s just you are practically naked and it’s Cold in here and also walking behind you i noticed you were Very Exposed sO”

you turn bright red because that means everyone has seen your ass prolly and you duck your head and pull the jacket tighter around yourself

“oh! i’m sorry i mean you look uhh? really good ?? yeah you look good nOT that i was looking super hard or anything or that i uH saw aNything BUt if i did it would look good i’m sure nOT THAT I thInK about that ?$/&/“

and now you’re both blushing very hard but you feel a little better when you see he’s just as flustered as you

you brush your fingers on his forearm to get him to stop staring at the floor and tell him thanks and ask about when he’s debuting

he tells you the mv filming is done since they had to go Real Far Away to do it and get it done ahead of time and that the teasers will be out in three weeks and then the mv release and then its Show Time Baby

you’re excited for him and he’s excited and you debut really soon as well and he’s excited for you and !!!!!

there’s excitement all over the place

he’s smiling so big and his eyes are cute and crinkly and :(((((

you still got a crush on him /sigh/

one of the staff literally yells your name down the hall and you’re like aw shit that’s my cue lol

you leave him with with a lil squeeze of his bicep and you’re BOTH shook

him because ?? was that fLIRTING

you because ?? THAT WAS FLIRTING

also because his biceps are thicc i’m gonna cry

big baby stands there for like 3 mins just shook and with uwus oozing from his pores

you skrt very quickly to avoid the consequences of your actions and get back to filming

okay TIME SKIP

your mv was released and did GOOD AS FUCK

you didn’t hear it from me but lucas + nct boys were seen on vlive jamming the fuck out to your song

you’re backstage like 10 mins from going on and having an absolute panic attack

what if you trip ??? or your voice breaks !!:&::

what if all the reviews say you’re Trash live and that the mv was better since they edited

what if you FLOP AND HAVE NO FANS

NO ONE DOES THE FANCHANTS

FUCK FUXKFUCKFUXKCUDJ

so you do call the king of debuts

mark lee

and you’re like mARK FUCK IM GOING TO CRASH AND BURN PLEAS LLSSE DHELPD ME

he tells you to Calm The Fuck Down and assures you it’ll be fine but it’s not working and mark is but a young boy he don’t know how to deal with FEMALES

you hear some deep ass voice on the other side ask who’s on the phone and mark says your name and then the voice is closer and deMANDING to be given the phone

u already kno it’s our boy yukhei

he can hear you gasping through the phone and having a mental breakdown and immediately makes his voice all low and soft

wow i’m , affected writing this shit

“hey, y/n, listen to me, you’re okay, you’re fine. i promise it’ll be okay.”

“bUT WHAT IF I-“

“you won’t. you’ve worked too hard and practiced too much. i know you i saw you do it. do NOT let all of that go down the drain. you can do this. now get your cute ass out there and take NO SHIT”

“i know but i am, scared”

“don’t be! this is what you love isnt it?”

“i mean,,,, yeah”

“and you want to do this more than anything don’t you?”

“well , yeah”

“then for gods sake don’t be a wimp and do it”

“hey i miss the part of this conversation where you were being nice to me”

“that part’s over babe you need some TOUGH LOVE now please for me and for yourSELF get out there”

“okay.. thanks lucas”

“anything for you, angel”

yOU HANG UP SO QUICK

how dare he

you were all Comforted but then he went on with that angel bullshit

okay long story short you ended the industry dude

all solo artists BOW BEFORE YOU

VOCAL QUEEN

DANCE QUEEN

lucas: shaking because His Angel did so well and you were wearing white and actually looked like an angel

but you don’t see him for the next like twO MONTHS because he’s promoting boss and you’re promoting your single and neither of you are home ever

when you do get a second to yourself you try to send him an encouraging text but

you seldom get a second to yourself :(((

he does the same thing and they’re so sweet :(

“good morning i hope u slept well !!”

“princess don’t forget 2 hydrate”

“i saw ur mnet performance u looked beautiful <333”

this man is practically begging you to wife him up i mean

he’s cute

he’s BIG and WARM

very sweet to you :(

talented and lovely

absolute dweeb

supportive of you even from great distances

BEST BOY UWU

you try to be just as encouraging back because he deserves it UGH

“bub don’t forget to eat i know ur hungry rn”

“!!!!!! you came foR MY LUNGS WITH THAT CENTER DANCE AT THE END BOI”

“why are u sending me messages u need to rest bby :((“

when things calm down though you,, see each other

he doesn’t formally ask you out and you don’t say anything but, youre dating sort of kind of

as idols you’re both still so so busy and you JUST debuted so neither of you are really allowed to date anyways

you settle for little bits of cuddling and secret touches as you pass each other in the hall

you both stand outside of your respective dorms at night to facetime without waking your dorm mates

he desperately wants to go on dates and do Normal Couple things but there’s no time :(

the most affectionate you’ve ever been is when the girl group who shares a dorm with you was out promoting and you had him over and you took a nap together :((((

he Insisted upon being the big spoon and basically wrapped your whole body up with his limbs

pressed a few lil kisses to the back of your neck and your shoulder when he thought you were asleep

you weren’t though and you turned around to kiss him on the cheek and then tuck your face into his neck and pass tf out

he has to leave though because mark texts him and is like YO I KNO UR WITH Y/N AND HER ROOMMATES ARE ON THE WAY HOME

ABORT MISSION DUDE

and that’s pretty much it :(

months pass without much between you even though you’re trying your best

and even though you live in dorms you’re still so lonely especially when you’re traveling because you don’t have any group members

you don’t want to annoy or worry lucas though so you don’t complain

he notices though and late at night he’ll call you while you’re in bed and talk about his day and how he misses you and wishes you were there

and when you get all emo he says he’ll be waiting for you at the airport

(he really does he goes and hides in the bathroom and texts you so you can go in there and TACKLE HIM)

he still calls you angel all the time :((((

god that’s another weakness of mine ??? IM SUCH A WUSS

but it has specifically changed to “my angel”

uwu

your first kiss and first Real Confession happens on the Worst Day Of Your Life

you’re about to go on stage (you’ve released an album since your debut so this is new stuff) when you get a call from your mom ??

she’s crying and tells you your grandma is sick and in the hospital and it’s really bad

immediately you’re barely holding yourself together because that woman half raised you and was the reason you stayed in dance and worked so hard to become who you are today

there are tears streaming down your face already and the makeup team is fluttering around you trying to fix what you’re messing up and it’s bad

you still have to go on though so you go and perform with tears in your eyes and your manager yells at you after for not pulling it together

you go home in tears and then you’re not looking where you’re going and ran straight into a staff who yells at you some more for being some entitled idol brat

originally you weren’t gonna say anything to lucas but, the staff pushed you over the edge and you call him in tears and are incoherent and can barely tell him where you are before you hang up

our boy BURSTS into your room and sees you sitting on the floor with your face buried in your knees and 🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨 !!

he gathers you in his arms and sits on the bed with you curled up on his lap

he holds you close and rubs a comforting hand up and down your back at the same time as he frantically tries to figure out what’s wrong

“y/n?? baby what’s wrong? angel, please you gotta tell me or i cant help”

“i jjJJUST Got a cALL and my grandMA IS SICK AND THEN I DI D BAD AND DISAPPOINTED EVERYONE AND My mManageR yeYELLED at me and theN I RAN iNtO a staffF meMbEr and he yELled at me too and I JSUT .$:&:&;& i’m sO SORRY u doNT need to deAL WIYH ME you have problems of YouR own and-“

“shhh listen to me i always care about you okay? angel, i want to help you no matter what you know that. also, if you weren’t so distraught i would go beat some SM ass you didn’t deserve to be yelled at :(((( how about we call your mom and check for updates with your grandma and i’ll stay here with you for the night?”

you nod and then reach for your phone while keeping as much physical contact with lucas as possible

he’s the only reason you haven’t reached the Depression Point Of No Return so

we stayin close

you put your mom on speaker and set your phone down before squishing yourself back into his chest and sniffling while the phone rings

your mom answers and you shakily ask for any updates and she tells you not much but your grandma has improved and they think that within a couple weeks she’ll be better

you cry some more and tell her you love them both and you’re so relieved and lucas kisses the crown of your head and is just There For Comforting

once you hang up and you’ve calmed down a little more you back up a little and turn to face him

“hey thank you so much, you didn’t have to come and help me so much but you’ve always been there to make me stop Freaking Out and laugh and i just, love you. yeah that’s what it is. I LOVE YOU I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU, WONG YUKHE-“

he cuts you off by snatching your face in his big warm hands and kissing you right on the lips

he then kisses your nose and your forehead and pulls you back into his lap to tuck you under his chin

“it’s all for you, angel ;)))) i love you more”

[jackofftao]

Jeno Boyfriend AU !

It’s been a while since I’ve done this so excuse the rust that clouds my writing. It shall clean with time. (lmao that made no sense) 

anyway 

lets get to it !

OKay so we gonna do a like getting together story because I’m a lonely roll

School ! no one loves it 

except for that one weird kid in the back of your class

you ride the bus alone 

and you meet your friends when you get to school, suffer for a bit, eat lunch, suffer a bit more, cry, -lmao you get the point

then you ride the bus home again

alone 

someone bout to change that

Jeno hardly goes to school because of schedules 

and crazy fangirls lmao 

promotions had just ended tho 

so now he’s stuck in this hell hole with everyone else

he rides the bus with Renjun and loud ass  Chenle

also Jisung but he has to stand up because that boy too tall 

Renjun is usually drawing, Chenle is doing last minute hm, and Jisung is trying to figure out how to kill himself with that hand strap thing if he has to stand up while riding this god forsaken bus one more time lmao 

tHATS WHEN 

he notices that theres a girl who goes to their school (and doesn’t chase them down like a maniac) and always sits alone in the back of the bus 

so he gets his nerves out of the way and asks if he can sit next to you because he hates doesn’t want to stand 

and ofc ur like “Ya sure my dude” 

Things are honestly v quiet and weird to start off with 

and he always is looking at you with his mouth opening and closing like a dam fish 

so you start up convo 

“whats ur name ?”

“Jisung”

“Nice, I’m y/n”

Jisung is honestly relieved because obviously you don’t know who they are if you asked for his name. 

“What are you listening to?”

you hand him one of your ear buds and thats how u two become friends 

You two listen to EXO all the time on the way to and back from school 

The group™ asks where he’s been and Jisung is just like “I made a new friend” 

The group™ watch you two like all the time lmao

especially Jeno

soon enough you are talking about classes and such 

“Hey! You have the same classes as my friend Jeno!”

jeno ???

Jisung never really talked about his friends tbh 

you figured he didn’t have any since he was standing all alone 

LMAO RIP JISUNG

anyway so you ask to meet his other friends and he’s like suRE

He told you that they ride the same bus 

u were dumbfounded 

you agreed to meet them after school at an ice cream shop 

The ride to the ice cream shop that day was like playing where is Waldo

“Is that them?”

“no”

“Them??” “still no”

“The bus driver ???”

“What- nO”

“well I’ve guessed everyone on this bus so i just figured-”

“Oh my god you’re the worst” 

When you finally got to the ice cream shop you were kinda annoyed because you had guessed them but he said no 

“You owe me ice cream now”

“for what”

“,,,,,ummm,,,,emotional distress” 

“You’re so dramatic lmao”

he still didn’t buy you ice cream 

When you all sat down it was really quiet and weird 

You and Jisung sat next to each other on one side of the table sharing earbuds and everyone else was on the other side 

“are u 2 dating or what” - Chenle

“No oh my god they’re ugly” - Both u and Jisung 

everyone ended up laughing 

“My name is y/n, nice to finally meet you all. Tbh I didn’t even know you guys existed till this morning.” 

Chenle gasped and held his chest and pretended to have a heart attack or something but it just looked like a dolphin out of water

then Renjun body slammed Chenle into the ground while Jisung cheered Renjun on by yelling “WORLD STAR WORLD STAR WORLD STAR” 

thats when you knew these were a fine™ group of boys 

while the younger ones are off trying to keep Chenle from jumping all over the place

you strike up convo with Jeno 

“Hey ur in my grade right” 

turns out you have the same first period and 5th 

you two hit it off nicely and get really involved in convo 

you two don’t even notice chenle, renjun and jisung leave 

until you look at your phone to check the time and see a text 

From: Jising sang sung

Have fun on your date lmao

Que you laughing but also planning his murder

Jeno walks you home because you live close 

what a gentleman 

the next day at school you sit next to Jeno in first period 

for the next month you two get close 

group projects, free time, ext 

you even start sitting with him at lunch 

he even replaced Jisung on the bus 

bye bye Jisung

Until one day 

Jeno isn’t there 

neither are the boys™

SO your dumb ass finally put 2 + 2 together 

Jeno was an Idol 

so you did some Research™ 

If found my new punch line its ™

and BOOM 

The boys™ are actually NCT Dream

so you start watching some of their MV’s 

and like wow 

Jeno is a visual ?

And he can Dance?

And hes super sweet 

Thump thump is that a crush growing ?

i think so 

You decide to keep it a secret that you know

and wait till he tells you 

after a week you text him 

To: jeNO Bub where you at :(((((   Still Sick ?  To: jeNO I miss you and  >:’0 GET BETTER SOON HOW DARE YOU LEAVE ME

He didn’t reply till like 3 am lmao 

and it was just “Oof ya its a real uh nasty cold,,,,be back soon !!!”

and ur like laughing because you know that he has a comeback soon but he out here pretending to be sick lmao 

what a dork 

After a month you start becoming really impatient 

and he still hasn’t replied to your 50 unread messages 

after the second month you stop texting 

on the third month you stop saving his seat 

on the fourth month you move back to your old seat 

you check your messages one last time and you see that your 125 unread messages remain unread 

a couple of weeks later you hear a roar of girls in the halls

and they are comping your way 

and u don’t know why tbh and ur terrified 

but they just run right pass you????

escaped death

but you just continue to the lunch room to sit with your friends

but someone grabs your shirt sleeve panting 

“y- y-y/n” 

“Jeno ??????”

And ur like happy but also pissed 

“You mug where were you ??? Why didn’t you answer my texts!! Ive been worried you know that! I checked my messages every day for 2 months ! Two months Jeno ISTG u better explain urself rn or I’m deleting your number” 

“I know I know Just its- I don’t know how to say this but uh okay follow me and I’ll explain everything”

So he takes you to the fountain our front and explains that he’s an idol and everything and he got really busy with comebacks and felt bad for lying to you about being sick and he didn’t want to keep that up for four months because he would have to have some real bad illness for it to last four months and he didn’t want to have to pretend to be in the hospital and everything just because he had promotions but didn’t wanna tell you because he was afraid you would look at him differently and- 

tbh u were like shut up you mug I already knew you were an idol but it still hurt :( 

and he was so sorry this poor kicked puppy 

“How can I make it up to you?”

“A date would be nice”

“A-a date?”

“yea I think the ice cream shop would do, you’re paying btw”

“Wait you like me??”

“,,,well ya ? I wouldn’t have asked you on a date otherwise”

“Oh okay good. I like you too!”

“Can I call you my boyfriend now or???”

“I’d like that, Girlfriend” 

“Stop oh my god you’re greasy”

and he just laughs with his eyes like crescent moons

[milo-gin]

soft bias tag

tagged by @sugas-kookies thanks (imissyou)

❦ Who is your bias?

The man in my profile photo and his many sides and endeavours. Min Yoongi/Suga/PD/AGUST D

❦ What made you notice them?

Well, since I like talking I’ll write the entire story. One day (this is a pun and you’ll see why) I was watching art videos and ran into this amazing fanart of a guy with white hair and it said “AGUST D SPEEDPAINT” since I had a thing for white haired characters I gave it a go, without knowing it was KPOP related because as no one knows I despised kpop and their fandoms A LOT, moving on though, I went along and watched the entire thing and I after watching @auriee video more than 10 times I started to accept the fact that I REALLY LIKE THAT SONG AND I HAD TO KNOW THE MAN BEHIND IT. When I saw him maaaaan I fell, and as plus I was trying to get into rap a little more because I was in need of new music so this one fit the glove perfectly, then I procedeed to slowly tap the waters and listened to his other MV, after that I started reading the comments to see where could I download that mixtape, and found it on twitter...This wasnt enough though so I was like I need m o r e  music from him, and later on found out he was in a KPOP band and was like....NOPE...But slowly my curiousity and love for his outstanding talent go the better of me... So I explored this so called “BTS” and tried many songs didnt like any of them they were too hyped to get into them as a first, but then I found love of my life ONE DAY lol As a funny side note I later on discovered that it was almost meant to be I had both photos of him and Taehyung as hot guys I wanted to draw, the selca I’d saved was the following

So yeah....that’s my story LOL ❦ What’s your favorite thing about them?

I love that he speaks his mind, maybe because that’s a quality I lack also I love that he’s shy and aloof. That’s always been kind of the guys that I like physically they always have this coldness to them, but in reality they’re always the kindest people, and this is without a doubt the case with him too. He’s just such a nice and talented human. I admire him a lot, he’s such an inspirational soul.

❦ Who would initiate skinship more?

I think me if the scenario was perfect then we’d probably known each other for quite some time so i think I would be the one to make things happen since Im more of an acting kind than talking irl

❦ Who would hog blankets more?

i feel like because of the way I am I’d let him hog the blanket haha and get another one for myself so that he feels comfortable

❦ Who would be more clingy?

neither? I’m not clingy and yoongi doesn���t seem like he’s too clingy either

❦ Who would say ‘l love you’ first?

Damn...maybe me cuz I get attached super fast, and I am in a sort of “no ragrets” run so if I like, love, feel anything for someone I tell them. I now speak my mind more so than I ever did before cuz I learned the hard way that sometimes it’s better to ask for forgiveness than permission as we say in spanish

❦ Who would be more easily flustered?

I think he’d pretend not to get flustered lol but he’d definitely get more flustered...depending on the situation also cuz I am very aloof about many things mostly when it comes to detaching myself from others 

❦ What cuddling position would you two have?

Not to be that person, but I’m a scorpio venus and moon...so maybe id be big spoon because i love babying the shit out of people, and I recently found out I love being big spoon, adding up Im a cancer mars so yeah there you go that’s why I like giving more than receiving

❦ Which colours remind you of them and why?

I think of blue idk why but that’s the color I associate with him, teals, and cold colors maybe the shade pigment too...basically dark and cold spectrum colors

❦ Which season would you like to spend with them?

I have no idea, but I think he doesnt function well in warm weather so summer is out of the table lol cuz he kinda doesnt like it. So maybe Winter or something that’s very chill not too cold or hot...balanced weather I guess that would be Spring

❦ Who would bake the cookies and who would steal the batter?

I dont bake lol so he’ll do it. I’ll be stealing

❦ Which one of you would make bad puns and how would the other react?

i’m a libra, end of the story. We make a lot of puns, i like puns if you dont like them we cant be friends

❦ Who would want to adopt 50 dogs and cats?

Hmm seeing how he loves Holly i’ll convince him somehow and we’ll end up doing it haha

❦ Which one of you would nearly burn the down the kitchen to try to microwave a pop tart and who would come to rescue?

me...I always burn stuff while cooking. Im sorry, im a poor excuse of a woman

❦ Who likes to lean over tall railings and who pulls them back?

I fear heights so...maybe none of us. I dont know him lol so I wouldnt know how he’d act on this one

❦ What would watching a horror film with them be like?

I dont think he’d watch a scary film, he’s said he doesnt like them so he avoids them and he seems like the stubborn type when it comes to things he likes to do which is why he always says that he wants to be with someone that is very similar to himself. So i cant imagine it sorry. I just dont think it could work

❦ Who would be the cheesy flirt and who would be the smooth flirt?

I think he’d be the cheesy flirt hahahhaa he’s a softie and he’s sometimes very impulsive from what i’ve picked up so he’d do it and regret it immediately. I know that I am very smooth as a flirter cuz I just ignore people i like o _ o ) but jokes aside in a comfortable situation I am very smooth

❦ Who is more competitive?

hmmm i think none of us haha i dont think things are worth fighting about when they’re not serious like games, sports, all those things I take them as entertainment and I want to take out stress. If I take it seriously and compete ill stress out which is missing the point of the whole thing.  Given the way he’s with music I think he’d end up competing and ill be like “meh” ahaha but on the inside id be like “i dont wanna play anymore cuz i keep losing” 

❦ Who would have to be given constant reminders (remember to eat, don’t forget your keys, etc.)

MEEEE lol I hate that shit. It’s my “pet peeve” it gets under my skin, I hate being told what to do when I know I have to do it.

❦ Who sends memes and who sees cute ‘I miss you’ texts at 3am?

I get cheesy at 3 am and im usually awake very late so I’d send the “I miss you” text and he’d respond with a meme of his face like

I think he’d do that cuz he likes acting all cool and stuff, but inside he’d be dying when told someone missed him (maybe like ive said I wish i knew him but I can only speculate from what I’ve picked up on his lives and stuff they’ve done for us to be a little more “public”) I’ll tag: @jin-sin @billiethebean @chiminichichi @lukello (idk if youll do this cuz i know how you see your boo) @hobislobster @gaypopped @daegutown @its-suga-sweet @jungkookiimonster @sugaa @anaevilbanana

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

no dont apologise! i didnt check until just then so np :)

mmm yeah it is a bit trippy. hehe ITS TRUE THO. yeah sadly i think ur right, and tag blocking is probably a good idea. sometimes smut written well or not in excess is okay but goddamn when its abt 01 line and thats the whole fic... *silently blocks tags*

hehe i do that all the time lol this conversation is carrying on threads from a month ago :) mmm yeah ur probably right sadly, same. HA HE DIDNT HAVE A CHOICE and now i have someone to talk to abt them, so thats good! I KNOW felix was actually the one who got me into skz with his iconique gods menu line so i guess i have a soft spot for him. i always tell myself my bias is chan but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ guess im more whipped than id like to admit. mmm yeah that does make sense dw i hope they do that as well. YES king seungmin hIMSELF. GODDAMNIT DONT GET ME STARTED ON MINHO IN GODS MENU I DIDNT EVEN KNOW HE WAS PART OF THE GROUP UNTIL I STARTED GETTING MORE INTO THEM. BITCH (affectionate) THE LINE DISTRIBUTION HAS BEEN UTTER DOG SHIT but *deep breath* its better now so were moving on adn hoping it stays that way. sis same but i may or may not have gone thru a rlly depressed phase and actively sought out the elimination episodes so i could actually force some tears out of my emotionless shell of a heart but what cna you do? lmaoo i feel that irl, binnie deserves more vocal lines. yesss channies accent is rlly prominent then, i think also the way he structures his phrasing? is more english speaking than korean? but yeah i totally get what ur saying. AJKSAL lmao

okay then! im excited for whenever it gets done! (maybe tag me?) ahh the cold shrivelled heart of a dark au writer beats again at the thought of torturing another poor characters very soul (/j) :(( yeah that would suck not being able to see them. ohhh ur on the other hemisphere to me! were just going into spring rn. mmm smth to look forward to! YES you put it into words. they rlly are pretty independent from the company (remember how jyp rejected that other dudes songs after like 3 seconds and then how he was apparently nervous to show the song hed written to chan cos chan was so good at writing hits ahhh sweet revenge) mmmYES we rlly need a mute and remove notifications button for our brains dont we?

YES CORRECT i totally agree. some people jsut dont give it a try, adn assume its bad cos its korean smh racist assholes. yes! im coming up to my 6 month anniv actually! sis sAME, i feel like theyre being tugged into appealing to the western american market and theyre not staying as true to their artistic flair as a group, especially with only writing english songs atm. *sigh* ah well, at least theyre bringing recognition to the kpop world. AHUH dead on, theyre going to be discarded pretty soon and then where will bp be? theyll prob go solo paths which is rlly sad but what can you do when the company is run by a prideful asshole? yg is not going to last much longer in the big four if they keep this up.

hehe you get it. oooh very cool! whos ur ult? (sorry if youve said this before) mmmm yeah good decision, i feel liek thats probably a wise decision. this is my first album release as a kpop stan (not counting mixtape oh) so i think ill get it for sentiments sake. yeah! im excited for the new music! mingi was the one who got me into them, but atm my bias is seonghwa followed by san, wooyoung and ateez but jonghos high notes man *swoon* he, yeah atm ive got jake, jay, nikki, jungwon and sunoo down so just trying to get the rest :) heh, yeah kard i rlly only got into cos of bm, ive seen him like interacting with a lot of idols and he seemed nice so i decided to check out the group. ikr gunshot man *another swoon*

no noe! i didnt know what it was until i got it lol. thx toffee ill try and take that to mind :) yeah lol im on a waiting list thats not going to be free until late september so hopefully i can hold on until then. hope ur okay, that sounds like it sucks, hope you can find someone. maybe ill just take you along on my phone and the therapist can get a two for one patient deal lmaooo. mmm, sorry no i havent mentioned it before, i dont rlly talk abt it much. uhhh basically hypermobility? if you google it, it doesnt seem bad, jsut joint flexibility but ive got the severe end of the stick, leaning towards ehlers danlos syndrome so thats fun. basically it just makes it hard for me to exercise, run, jump, stand or just walk for long periods of time and gives me a lot of joint and muscle pain so... thats fun! but obviously so many other people have it worse than me, so i try not to complain. normally in young people it will improve as they get older, but my doctor said bc its severe in me, its unlikely to get much better. but again, i dont have the worst lot in the bunch, so its all g.

oh its good that its not the bad type of rain, a light sprinkling can be relaxing sometimes. aww thx darl, the concern is appreciated but it went pretty well and i managed not to cough too much on stage or kill myself trying to run around to the other side of the stage in the pouring rain so thats good! oooh tea buddies! my dogs a labradoodle, but shes a bit more of a feral poodle lol not much labrador in her at all, unless its her relentless urge to hunt down every bird that has ever walked this earth smh :((( hopefully they can come back on soon, does uni have dances?

ahhh a mood if i ever heard one. hopefully things will get better for you soon, ik anxiety sucks ass. ooh thats always good! when its sunny here, its always melt ur thongs to the pavement hot so the nicely cool sunny days are a lovely change. hehe impatience is not so good for you, but good for us that get to see ur beautiful theme early. ahh no worries, itll come eventually hopefully. and if not, then just things that make you not anxious are good. it doesnt have to be black or white, sometimes gray is good. mmmmm sames i have midterms this week to catch up on and then two weeks of end of terms so thats fun! i hope u can overcome that a little, heres some channie to be ur motivation https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8LWyNjzOww. hah! i hear that all the time, he seems to be everywhere. did you see that tiktok of hans slowed back door rap, i stg it sounded EXACTLY like namjoon, it kinda scared me. also teh beginning of another day, sounds so much like joon i swear.

that reminds me! idk ur biases! i feel like this should be smth i should know so please! feel free to elaborate!

ahh im glad, i was worried it is. mmm same, so no hard feelings if either of us misses a day or smth. ill start worrying if weeks/months have gone by, but if its just a little while thats more than fine. ill just picture you studiously completing notes and i wont worry lol

<3 w.a. 🐺

at some point i really think i'm going to start blocking accounts because blocking tags won't be enough. i saw ask tags the other day and it just made me want to bleach my eyeballs.

i could talk about god's menu felix for hours man. the teaser for god's menu that featured his part on the bridge made me look forward to the mv release. you: biases chan, also you: lixiesbabyhands. yes you are more whipped than you think. i can't believe orange haired minho was given NOTHING during that era but they kind of made up for it in the b-sides. i also hope it stays that way. the distribution for this era was pretty fair.

"torturing another poor character's soul" in all honesty, i used to live for this. 2017 me leading up to early 2020 wrote nothing but angst. i have another aussie friend on twt and tbh i'm still really (O.o) about the seasons! jyp should be terrified skz could easily take over that company. heck if skz grow old and start their own company, they'd probably do a great job at running it. PLEASE. i have issues on muting/notifications both mentally and in real life. sometimes, i just wish to disappear.

some people in my country are just disgusting tbh. not only racist but homophobic too. they label kpop as 'gay' and it DISGUSTS me. it's a problematic behavior/mindset people in my country need to fucking get rid of. anyway, HELP ME 6 MONTHS??? and i've been in this shit for like a decade eye. tbh, i’m not fond of kpop groups trying to appeal to the western audience :// it feels like they’re losing their identity in a way. yes recognition but at what cost? yg has my favorite groups but that’s one shitty company when it comes to promoting.

okay my ult! it’s haechan from nct but i consider chan an ult too. like a close second above my whopping list of kpop boys. oh yes! you should get the album just for like a keepsake? remembrance? how did mingi appeal to you? omg did you start getting interested in ateez back when he was still on hiatus? NOT YOU BIASING THE SAME PEOPLE I DID WHEN I FIRST STARTED STANNING. the infamous ateez thot-line. jongho is easily one of the best fourth gen vocalists out here, no one can change my mind :( good luck with memorizing the rest of enhypen! just in time for the comeback too. i hope i’ll get into kard soon but i’m pretty content (and a tad bit overwhelmed) with the amount of groups i stan right now.

please hold on though, feel free to vent here if you like. thanks for the offer tho HAHA but like i’ll try to get checked here too when the cases die down a bit. i’m sorry to hear about your condition though :( please don’t ever overwork yourself to the point that your joints/muscles would ache. it’s completely valid to complain about it tho. i get that you have others in mind but keeping that mindset really doesn’t do you (like you internally) any better? so if you need to, vent your frustrations out and don’t keep it in.

oh my god, about your performance last sunday. was the stage out in the open? glad you didn’t cough too much and did well on your concert. i’m proud of you! i can never understand dogs and poor birds T_T uni doesn’t have dances unfortunately. i think there’s just one party at the end like a graduation ball. what year are you in anyway? if it’s something that you’re fine with sharing. if not, it’s cool.

good luck with your exams! and thanks for the link! AHA what a cutie. i think he does this motivation thing once in a while during his lives and it’s just comforting. yeah joon and han my irl just freaked when we made that discovery. ult crumbs for her. oh god not me forgetting about every biases when you asked. you can ask for my biases in a few groups just list down the one’s you’re interested in knowing. 

i missed yesterday because i was grinding and finishing what if we stay + school work. finally did it today. i’m sure i’ll reply in like a day or two, definitely not a month unless i state otherwise. if i ever decide to abandon this blog, i’ll let you know.

[himenation]

MONSTA X 2ND WORLDTOUR IN AMSTERDAM (LIVE REPORT) - AFAS 20.06.2018

This is a long live report containing things how I even became a fan, to the AMAAAAAZING (not) queue, setlist, live, m&g and random moments. All fan cams and fanpics are uploaded on my twitter which I linked in this post too!

I went to Monsta X’s 2nd Worldtour in Amsterdam this month! I started to get to know Monsta X during their Beautiful promotions and when I heard they would come to Europe the first time (in 2017), I was doubting whether I should go or not. I knew like 10 songs and another fan could go instead of me. It was not close anyway, so I decided to take part in the campaign for Amsterdam. For people who don’t know MMT. MMT is a fan dedicated promoter, in which you can request an artist to come to your city and if you have enough ‘makes’ (so points) they’ll talk with the artist. 

Anyways, I took part in the campaign in august 2017. Uni was about to start and I kinda forgot about the lives for a while. Until it was around the DRAMARAMA period (and their first win omg!), I followed them again; so after their MBC performance, I got a text message from MMT that they’re starting to talk to MONSTA X. At this point I would give this presale code to somebody else, but I didn't know when the actual concert was supposed to be so I waited. So while I was waiting for their JEALOUSY comeback, I started to watch their shows because I was bored and I LITERALLY FELL INTO THE FANDOM (and not just the music). I loved these guys so much? They were so precious and funny. I really wanted to see them live and regretted not going to the Beautiful Tour. So for their Jealousy comeback, I even bought The Connect; I texted every time they had a show and streamed their MVs so they could win another win (and they did!) (I've only done this for BTS before). So just around the time of the MV release, they announced they would be coming to AMSTERDAM. I was so happy. Flash forward to the ticket sale: I went to uni early, had a computer; laptop and my phone ready and immediately bought 2x VIP tickets!!

After counting down the days to the concert, I was finally here. I couldn't wait to hear Destroyer and Lost In the Dream live (My fav songs of the new album). Fans were allowed to queue from 11, but no-one seemed to listen to it :’) Every standing type had to get a wristband (VIP included). So I was kinda late and arrived at 12 , but my wristband number was 139. I quickly had sushi with my sister at ICHI-e and went to Starbucks (and a grocery store) to get some food and drinks for the queue. Just when we were about to leave the restaurant, I got a message from MMT that they messed up the wristband numbers for VIP and it was now FCFS (First Come first Serve). It was also the hottest day of the week, yippie :’)

Queue The queue was one big mess... Fans were incredibly rude and mean and staff didn’t do anything about it either. Girls were screaming at the security and talking very rudely, fans saying to each other ‘shut the fuck up and sit the fuck down’ (this is an actual phrase someone was screaming behind me). The venue staff gave us WATER IN A BUCKET and it wasn't until a monsta x staff came and gave everyone bottles. I also met two very sweet fansites! They gave out free stuff and were overall very sweet! They talked a lot to us and were next to us in the queue. We also met two friends who wanted to go to their friends, but since people were rude; my sis stopped them and they were next to us. Even though we were strangers, me and my sis shared our food and drinks with them. During the queue certain people started to push fans and we told them to stop and they started to fight with us??? and basically telling us ‘are you blind’ :)) (also they thought the fansites were Korean so they were all nice to them but shitty to other people, but the fansites turned out to be Chinese so these rude koreaboos were really boo boo the fools) at around 18:00 we were allowed to go inside but everyone started pushing each other so we were really stuck and could barely breathe. Once we were inside we had to wait another 2 hours and I was so tired, but wow I was 4th row!  Live I also made a big thread of Monsta X on my twitter. Fancams Fanpics Okay first of all, this group has no visual hole. THEY ARE ALL SO VISUALS I COULDNT BELIEVE MY EYES. Honestly they're so beautiful irl??????? Although I knew they were all handsome, I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw IM, Kihyun, Shownu and Hyungwon DAMN. 

The live was amazing, they kept playing DRAMARAMA, SHINE FOREVER and STUCK in the venue and we were so hyped! Once the live started; they all came in Swaroski Suits (they looked so expensive) singing Jealousy. The fan chants (at least in the VIP) were A M A Z I N G.  AAHHH I finally saw monsta x im sobbing. They then played Be Quiet (it’s one of my fav older songs) ;; and BEAUTIFUL IN SWAROSKI SUITS GUYSSSSSS. They didn't do the jacket dance since, yeah the jackets were pretty expensive HAHAHAH. Too bad.. They then had a long MC and started with Gravity and Tropical night (still wearing the suits). After changing their clothes (some kind of harness?)  they sung Crazy In love (finally a full version) and All In. The crowd really loved All In!!!!!!!! Then we had 20 minutes of solo stuff; the solo of Wonho, Minhyuk and Kihyun were my absolute favourite! It was so cute. The other solo’s were really good too!! The crowd died at Hyungwons and IMs solo though.  AAAAAAAAAAAAAH AFTER SOLO they sung From Zero (Seven member version) and oh my god Wonho looked so beautiful??? This song is so cute?? I can't remember much of Because of You im sorry ;; White love was really emotional, they didn't expect the banner project (1000days with monbebe) at all and really loved it. Rollercoaster was so cute live as well, they all pretended to sit in a rollercoaster lol. After they went off stage, the destroyer MV played AND I SCREAMED SO LOUD I WAS NOT READY, NO ONE WAS READY NO ONE! LITERALLY IM DEAD. But they bloody sung LOST IN THE DREAM and I was really lost in the dream, wow....... The vocals..... wow.. Im........................... it was so beautiful live. Guys, ive heard Kihyuns iconic high note (well a lot of people shouted OOOOFFFF BUT I STILL HEARD ONE OF MY FAV SONG I! CANT! BELIEVE!). Also very random to mention but Jooheon is one hell of a good performer, he was not even nervous and the stage was HIS BITCH, his rap and his stage aura are so mind-blowing.

I always joked they should play lost in the dream and destroyer after each other to let the fans die but they really did IT! The choreo of Destroyer was so good and fitted the song. In the beginning Wonho waved and gave a finger heart though... I was never a fan of Shine Forever, but It was so nice and also doing the fan chants! Rush is a song I used to skip but ooof, it was also very nice to hear. Monsta X really enjoyed singing Special too AND YESSSSSSSS FINALLYYYYYYY TRESPASS THE WHOLE CROWD WAS SO LIT WE ALL RAPPED ALONG AND IT WAS HONESTLY ONE OF THE BEST PERFORMANCES SO FAR IDGJKDSGS. They all positioned to the Dramarama pose and yes they did Dramarama!!!! but now the concert was about to end too :( Monsta X said they love Falling, Ive heard people say they love performing Falling and yes they REALLY LOVE FALLING. My heart was so full of uwu when I saw them performing falling, I love these babies so much :’). We showed them the banners during If Only again and Wonho, Minhyuk and Kihyun were really emotional and it was so sad to see this ending :( But I was about to meet these guys as well AAAAAAHHH. I dont know if it was Minhyuk or IM but one of them took of Wonho’s shirt lol and he threw it in a crowd. Before that they also took a group pic ;; tbh I wished they did Stuck and Hero as well, but overall I really loved the setlist so much.

Meet and greet Order: Wonho - Shownu - Kihyun - Minhyuk - Hyungwon - Jooheon - IM Usually when fans meet artist, fans are the ones talking to the artist but now Monsta X was rather talking to the fans, they were so sweet and they all had the most genuine and sweetest smile ever. The M&G was unfortunately very fast and I could only say  Wonho: I think he was still very sad and looked like he cried too but his hands are so soft ;; I thanked him and he nodded and gave a thumbs up lol Shownu: I knew it was his birthday in London so I told him a happy belated birthday ;; and he said thank you as well! Kihyun: ok, I may have said I love you instead of thank you AHHGHGHHGHAHAHG and yeah that was kihyuns reaction too he laughed and said thank you lol Minhyuk: He said thank you very much!! NO THANK YOUUU (while smiling so sweet) Hyungwon: Somehow he was very giggly but we both said thank you to each other!! Jooheon: We both said thank you to each other aaaaaahh IM: Since I barely had time (after hyungwon) I just told him thank you and he said the same ;; We then got a poster from the tour and the show was unforunately over :(( MMT announced a week before the concert there would be no merch so I didn't have a lightstick either so it was nice having a poster as a reminder (and the fans we got from the fansites ofc). Setlist (duration 2,5hours) 1. Jealousy 2. Be Quiet 3. Beautiful -- 4. Gravity 5. Tropical Night -- 6. Crazy in Love 7. All in -- 8. Wonho, Minhyuk, Kihyun - Neol Hada 9. Jooheon, Shownu - Versace on the Floor 10. Hyungwon, IM - Fake Love (Drake) 11. Hyungwon, IM - How long // another IM solo (not sure) -- 12. From Zero 13. Because of you 14. White Love 15. Rollercoaster -- 16. Lost in the dream -- 17. Destroyer 18. Shine forever -- 19. Rush 20. Special 21. Trespass -- 22. Dramarama *ENCORE* 23. Falling -- 24. If Only *Group pic*

Random moments -  They talked a lot of Dutch such as ‘I am...’, ‘I love you’, ‘I miss you’, ‘Fries with Mayo’. IM also wanted to say Sexy but he didn’t say Sexy and Jooheon said to erase our minds LMAO KSJKD he was so embarassed - In the beginning when Kihyun was talking about Hyungwon, Hyungwon looked at him and he kinda slapped away his face (Kihyun to Hyungwon) - Just before Crazy in Love, the group was devided into two to talk with fans (one group was changing their clothes) and Jooheon was doing a weird movement with his hand and was saying AY AY AY and the fans said it too, but then the other group came (Kihyun, Shownu, Hyungwon and Minhyuk) and they all looked honestly so confused and Kihyun was like ‘AY go change your clothes now’ and then Kihyun and Hyungwon were showing off their dance moves lol - Also during the live I started as the fourth row, but people behind me kept pushing and I was suddenly 2nd row and there is a higher place for the first row so my knees kept going on that and it hurted so much lmao - Shownu, IM and Jooheon went to Beyonce the day before and talked about how amazing it was (lmao fanboying on their own concert KAJDKSFJFS) and they also said we will make it possible for them to perform there one day ;;A;; - The day of the Amsterdam concert would be 1000 days with Monbebe we would show during If Only, but since London got cut off we weren't sure whether we would hear If Only and decided to do it during White Love. - Wonho, Minhyuk and Kihyun got teary at If Only - Their reactions to White love were so sweet :((  - Our group hyped up every member whenever they were close to us. Hyungwon, Kihyun and Wonho noticed us a lot lol. Hyungwon waved at us too ;; - During FALLING Kihyun was drinking water and then he came to our side and you could see in his face he was about to do something and when the beat dropped he threw WATER ON US and I got so wet :((((( the fan next to me, her fan was all wet lmao.  - I got a lot of confetti in my face :’)  

[theday]

tagged by @ikyh and @younghyuuns ill be doing both sets !! :D thank you both for tagging me!! this got long so yall dont hav 2 read <3

ru?? rushee’s set!! me: wow ru does not sound like rushee at all ? djsjdhhjd im dumb but i realize now

i. do u believe in astrology? whats ur sign and do u line up with the features usually attributed to it?

fucc... i guess i do ;-0...... and yeah i think?????? like they say capricorns are cold bitches and funny nd im like ya thats me... but they also say we’re hard workers and im like uh.. dont know abt that karen !

ii. what’s ur favorite pair of socks?

bbbbbbb..... socks huh...... i guess my ankle ones? there are also socks that have actual designs on them and those r usually thicker.. keep my feets safe! most of them have pkmn designs bc.. yeah... love the poke mans

iii. what’s a food that reminds you of a specific moment/memory?

i could think of anythiing and get reminded of one situation if that makes sense.. but i thought of pineapple..pizza... anyway the memory isnt anythngn special its just me staring at my delicious hawaiian pizza..... at my favourite pizza place.... love that shit

iv. what’s the longest you’ve gone without sleeping?

i dont have the actual hours but the latest ive stayed up.. like willingly would be until 2am

v. how has ur taste in music changed throughout ur life?

went from 1d to 5so/s + other bands to utaite.... they cover vocaloid songs ig i never kno how2 explain what utaites r then 2 kpop.. but i still listen 2 bands + kpop and utaites.... so nothing much has changed ive just gone broader.. wider... expanded my tastes... 

vi. who’s ur fashion icon?

oh definitely kim wonpil

vii. what’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever done without realizing?

i breathe dumbass particles.. i cant think of one bc my brain probably blocked off all access to my horrifying past but ive been thinking abt how i used 2 send the boy i used 2 like 1d songs....................... 12 y/o old me rly thought. he’d listen.... 12 y/o me thought spamming him was a good idea glad ive learnt from that! 

viii. what’s something you want to brag about?

my grades but it didnt get me into psychology so nvm ! its still good though i didnt expect to get an A1 (hghest grade) for combined humanities since ive had a B my whole life without it i wouldnt be able to move on education wise lmao so thank god for that thanks cambridge thanks bell curve sunbaenim 

ix. when you imagine urself being happy in the future, where exactly are you (like the location!)?

oh definitely an apartment somewhere where its always windy and the curtains are always Moving and the sun just Shines in the room but its not that hot either its just full of warmth and yeah thats the dream maybe also walks in the park without having 2 worry abt sweating my pits out u kno! tldr anywhere but here

x. what’s something you’ve always wanted to own?

let me Think.... i dont need a lot/?? but id love hm.............. i want stability but realistically i want all the hh pcs from the code albums. 

xi. how’ve you been lately?

good good! i finished my *** fic and its. im proud of it though i know its not that good nd i can do better but its done ! and hm i could be going to see mx but asking my mum is stressing me out speaking of her she wont stop Coughing and she refuses to see the doctor ;-/ love those sleepless nights ! other than that i just want 2 get out and feel the sun ???/ wanna get out of this house yea but i need to be.. shady with my money i cant get a job because school is starting in a month and im going overseas again sometime next month so ! no ones gonna hire someone who can only work for 2 weeks at most dhzjhhs shouldve worked when i had the time dumbasses only

ok now falen

1. what’s been on your mind??

hm redacted feeling towards my mum but i cant say them bc itd be insensitive 

2. what are you looking forward to? 

mx? possibly but also finishing my enrolment papers

3. story time!: how and when did you get into day6!!!!!

fuck...... listen up LADS. 

ive told the same story like 10 times but im never gonna get tired of saying this shit bc i love miss boxy so much nd she deserves the appreciation anywy she introduced me 2 day6 after i saw this one (1) picture of brian in minion glasses and instantly i knew in that Fucking moment thatd id die for him. so i asked for the name of my murderer and was introduced to day6 whom frankly id never heard of b4 bdjhjh she sent me all their mvs and i still remember the night . i remember walking out of this japanese restaurant, twitter open, chat wiht boxy there and i was like.. interesting ill go listen when im home so i Did! and my mind was blown away bitch? i honest 2 god expected them to be a boy group,,, dancing and shit yknow? i didnt know k bands existed ! so as a previous 5/sos stan i was like wow. this??? this shit is 10/10 a fucking BANGER thats what i felt listening 2 i smile and just going :O over the fucking instruments so idk if how can i say was the last or second song but Damn. .. it made me scream thanks mister j** he rly dragged me by the collar of my shirt and threw me face first into Heaven so i watched everything i asked my friend for video recommendations and after boxy sent me a page with their face and names i was like this jae kid is 182 cm? wow gotta stan now im stupid and stupid for glasses and tall people so ! it happened bithc,, ugh i lov eday6 so much i remember binge watchng all their vlives after the july after party live (that being the first vlive i watched Ever in my entire life and i laghed so hard despite not understanding a damn thing) please id giv my heart and soul2 day6 im so happy with the way ive progressed as a myday :^( 

bonus when i first started stanning it was 26th june and shortly after i made a stan acc teasers were being dropped but i didnt kno why ppl were freaking out i remmeber seeing jae’s teaser nd going ? ok? its just a pic damn ;-/ and then eveeryone was like: dowoon! choker! me: wdhs? what

4. ????do you have any allergies????

did u think of jae and no i used to be allergic 2 dairy products but thats disappeared

5. a fond memory???

bowling with friends and im just a disaster of a friend im always so loud with them and i thank god everyday that they handle my energy ? i would cheer for them even if they got a gutter or whatever and when they got a strike id go clap like crazy i love my friends i also went i have the power of god and anime on my side before flinging the ball and theyd laugh despite not knowing what vine that was from i love my friends... psg if ur out there yall are the best x i miss hanigng out with them as a trio.. three of us :( 

6. do you paint your nails?? if so, what are your fave colors to use?? if not, why??  

thats so.. tiresome.......... dont u have 2 wait for it 2 dry and shit ? my mums always worried abt ruining the colour or some sht nd im like !!! okY!!!!!!! tldr its a pain in the ass

7. what are your favorite colors?? what are your fave colors to wear??

i like hte colour of the sky... all the colours........ yeah love that bithc and lately ive been wearing a lot of black shirts finally went out of my embarrassing colourful phase ! 

8. what languages would you like to learn?? for what reason(s)??

japanese nd korean jp because i listen to a lot of things in japanese and korean for the same reason but my priority would be jp even tho id love to communicate with my faves i just... yeah although im not exactly making an effort 2 learn bc im lazy but if i Could.... itd be those two

9. when you get stickers, do you use them or do you keep them??

DHDGFHDHDGDSJHJSJAKSSJHFHS THIS FEELS LIKE A CALL OUT???? i keep them......... 

10. are there any groups that you might get into/want to get into?

hm... well theres knk ive learnt their names and im finally able to put name 2 face so thats nice svt too if htey didnt have such large numbers... thats all for now i think?? i love evry girl group though i love gIRLS... 

11. how are you???

idk im constantly just fine?? not the im sad but im fine kind of fine im literally just neutral half the time wjhddshs wild 

both of your questions were really unique and i loved answering them thank you so much for tagging me and if youve read until the end thank you i hope you have a good day!

[chickenfetus]

all moongan

thank you for asking falen tbh i love u sm and i love doing these 

omg is this ask for this ask meme i literally almost posted this along with the wrong ask fml

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?

more cereal than mik because.. i dont eat cereal with milk……… i love the crunch

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

as someone who lives in a tropical country is that what its called idk we dont have seasons and it never gets lower than 25 degrees so yes that would be ideal

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

hrmmmmm… i just remember the page number?? or try to lmao if i dont remember i just skim through the pages and try to recognise where i left off

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

with at least 2 packets of sugar tbh…. i dont drink coffee

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?

omg story time i went 2 get my braces removed and the dentist wanted to take pics so he was like “smile with your teeth!” and i was like ok! but then he kept saying i wasnt doing it right lmao… guess whos never smiled b4… (me) so he told me 2 practice my smile lol i didnt answer the qn but ya,,, i am probably

6: do you keep plants?

i used 2 be very against plants… now theyre okay i guess i dont rly keep any

7: do you name your plants?

refer 2 6

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

art??? i havent drawn in awhile

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?

no LOL

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

on my side!!!! i cant sleep on my back bc i gotta hug smth.. and my stomach is out of the qn

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends?

🅱️… and .. same brainwaves…. poor mans ____…. this is all from the shady hq im so sorry my other pals

12: what’s your favorite planet?

the moon for no real reason

13: what’s something that made you smile today?

hMMm, watching astro and mx perform??? and just being shady with bell lmao

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

this… question,,,..so im thinking of a bright place with white walls and translucent curtains so the light call fill the (living) room perfectly and everythings really ??? sunny and shit idk its warm… the floor’s made of (fake?) wood and theres a small kitchen bc i cant cook and idk if my friend would be able to lol.. theres 2 bed rooms both are painfully small but it works.. theres one other room with a closet for clothes… the bathroom is just a shower, sink and toilet… theres no washing machine rip and ?? thats about it poor mens life

i watchd the like we used mv again and i realized ...... that is literally where i got this imagery from thanks the rose i love a relatable band

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!

heres a fact (?) from me first: it rains diamonds on one planet ?? mecury maybe?? mars??? whomst.. this isnt even a fact its ,me trying to recall shit

ok real fact: There are thousands of other planets out there. sorry lads this website doesnt wanna have fun

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish?

is spaghetti bolognese a pasta dish

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?

im chill with my current hair colour??? bc its brown sometimes idk shitty hair

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

i asked my irl friends (group name: panic support group) and this is what they said

K: everything

E: when u were one hour late (i dont remember this happening but i do know im always late but never for an hour past me wyd)

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?

goDD i dont but i sure want to

20: what’s your favorite eye color?

this is strange but every eye colour is my favourite although ppl with two or more colours in their eyes are so cool

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.

its just my school bag lmao i got it 4 years ago and i take it everywhere even if the event is “small” and they ask us to bring “smaller bags” ill bring my big ass school bag anyway it looks like this (i dont have to but linking stuff is so fun)

22: are you a morning person?

technically.???its the holidays but i still manage to get up before 10 (most of the time) and … even if i have like 5 hours of sleep i manage to feel awake really easily????

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?

tf i just use my phone lmao this is what ive been doing for like a month now… i could watch every vlive i havent watched yet, i could make video compilations i could practice my art but… even though im out of school im still procrastinating.. legends only

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

mmmm falens the closest to that

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into?

my classroom

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit?

white converse??  i have 2 get new ones every like 2 years since theyre also my school shoes and break easily….. other than those i have my blueblack converse too (i dont wear them as much so theyre still in one piece)

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor?

i dont eat bubblegum bc im always afraid ill swallow it and die and im p sure its illegal here

28: sunrise or sunset?

sunset but i dont look outside enough for either

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?

hm……… with jen its when she sends me asks on anon despite it being super obvious like im not a Fan when my friends send me asks on anon bc sometimes i cant tell and i get a sense of false hope but w/ jen its okay but i know its her

with bell its when they reply to my keyboard smashes with their own keyboard smashes lmao and when they just??//?? say smth cute abt their faves (lately its been sanha thank u sh)

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?

ya lmao when i have 2 sleep alone and its completely dark i have half a mind 2 believe some random supernatural being is out for me

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.

hmM. socks are great i always wear them bc i wear shoes almost every time i go outside… i dont have any weird socks bc im Boring but i have 3 pkmn songs and 1 gudetama socks/.. bUT I DID buy my friend those socks with individual toe pockets… it was so funny when my other friend saw it she choked on her drink and almost spat it out. we laughed so hard we hit our heads against each other i love friendship.. i have 2 wear white socks for sch bc… aesthetic? god if i know lmao….. i only ever wear ankle socks bc….. socks any higher than that? cancelled.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

listen ive never stayed up later than like 1am ok maybe 2am??? but i was working on like a project that was due the next day for school with my groupmates (friends) so does that count lmao

33: what’s your fave pastry?

bread………. sugar donuts…….. i am Aware that thats not how u spell it but wtv

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

why does this ask so many qns in 1 qn……. i had a cat?? it had pink stripes and it didnt have a name bc i dont name my stuff… even my pokemon.. and yeah i still have it except its in a big dusty bag where all my other toys are kept

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?

i kinda have to use stationary for school so ya.. p often is correct… pretty pens??? i dont rly see the point whoopS!!! in exams u can only use black or blue so

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now?

im listening 2 day6 so like day6

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?

my room isnt even my room i just go there to sleep .. the place im always at is like a study area except its open?? so everyone can see me lol and . its not messy?? if u look at it from far but the shit on the desk and shelves are so fucking messy god i need to pack those

38: tell us about your pet peeves!

aLRIGHT LADS welcome 2 megans ted talk

(skip this if ur not fond of drama)

so something (refer to the song he said suits myday) happened with jae recently and ive seen fans trying to defend him by @ing him and saying that they love him which is fine - great even! but what i dont approve is how everyone’s basically forgotten about the whole matter because they had concerts so instead of @-ing him and asking him to explain himself, they tell him what a great concert it was which is also great bc their concerts are honestly amazing. basically my pet peeve is when ppl dismiss the problematic action of some people just bc they like them.

another thing is that there were some fans who started guilting others for wanting to drop day6 completely because of what jae did and in my opinion i think it is totally cool to want to drop a group if they did smth bad like??? its ur life???? u can choose who you want to like. what is not cool is pulling out all the good things the person has ever done in their entire life and try to remind others about the positive sides of the person. yes. they’re an encouraging person, etc. but that does not cancel out the bad things they’ve done until they explain/apologise. what is infuriating is just the manner some people took it?? they literally went ahead and tweeted shit like “would your parents drop you if you did smth wrong?” and “you’re seriously gonna drop someone whos been nothing been nice because of one incident?” yes. people will and you dont have any fucking right to stop them? so dont go pulling out receipts.

another thing. its also okay to want to stan the whole group even if someone has done smth problematic. like? to me youre cool if youre able to see and acknowledge the bad shit someone has done and still stand by their side while educating them at the same time its nice to have faith in your idols. however, i wont say much when your idols dont respond and/or respond in a way that shows absolutely no remorse. its cool if you want to support them too, despite that.

tldr; dont fucking excuse someone’s behaviour/action just because youre so far up their fucking ass. dont pull out shit from before either, be it good or bad. and lastly, its okay to want to drop/continue supporting them, its your life.

i just wanted to talk about this tbh,, it was nice to see a few mydays trying to urge jae to explain the whole situation but seeing as he still hasnt and couldve it really irks me :-/

okay update its been a day and i havent really thought about this but im kinda conflicted now bc jae still hasnt talked about the song and im probably just making a big deal out of smth that will never happen again but it really doesnt sit right with me knowing that jae recommended that song to his fans and said it suited mydays?? bc looking at the lyrics... i SURE hope not... idk i have neither forgiven or forgotten but he’s okay now.? i cant stay mad at someone for that long anyway ill never forgive him 4 it though lmao petty ppl only

another thing... jae’s still an amazing person to me with all the encouraging words he says to mydays but this one incident is just soOOOOO hrm and i did go off tangent with the question as usual lol

39: what color do you wear the most?

i wear a lot of colours tbh??? but bc its rly hot out ive just been wearing the same shirt every time i leave the house and its black so

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you?

i dont wear jewelry rip

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?

challenger deep

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!

hm,, ive only ever visited this coffee shop like more than once bc the girl i used 2 like showed it to me b4 like 2 years ago and it was nice i liked their mocha frappe and its cozy i guess??? sometimes i go there with friends to study/just eat but i havent gone in awhile.., its two stories and it has an open air sitting area too i prefer sitting inside bc the sun is a big no thanks.. the ceiling is kind of like?? going downward?? like the kind iin attics???? idk man it was nice

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?

u cant see shit here sorry

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?

cant relate

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?

yea?? sometimes i just gotta bc my brain wont shut the fuck up

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.

suddenly all of the puns i know have left my mind thanks @ me

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

vegetables

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?

the dark and whats basically in it???? like ghosts zombies and shit u kno the scary shit

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?

i like buying albums?? theres a CD in those so it counts lmao i bought sunrise by day6

50: what’s an odd thing you collect?

boxes??? like containers????

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

boxy and letting go by day6

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?

YOU KNOW I HAD TO DO IT TO THEM and oh worm

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?

me: rocky.. ?????? from astro.. /?? no ive never heard of any of those and i saw the word horror so u wont hear abt those from me any time soon

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?

i literally havent been outside for 2 days

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point?

be petty aka yesterday i changed my twitter icon from jae 2 brian bc jae’s being a child rn so hes out

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?

when they ramble abt smth they like thanksk buds

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?

is this the song from p!atd i have it in my playlist lmao oh i fucing hate this song i always skip it im not listening

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?

idk what either of those are but bell and boxy

59: what’s your favorite myth?

idk any

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

anything that eunwoo has ever written

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?

ive given eggs for karissa’s birthday b4 and i got a kermit its not stupid tho its just the closest thign i could think of

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?

i drink water juice everyday every minute every hour

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?

my books are all in shelves lads i just  heard the fucking keys rattle im not doing this shit im logging off night

ok day 3 and im back like i said previously my books are on shelves i tried rearranging them by series b4 but my housekeeper rearrnaged them randomly the next day so i gave up

i make playlists for songs that i like, really like (i still skip them sometimes rip) and songs that my friend recommends me i have a seperate playlist for the songs i like in japanese 2

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?

light blue?? like its actually p white bc its cloudy

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with?

m not rly

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?

just. leaves maybe??

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?

Horror Movie

68: what’s winter like where you live?

oh winter is fucking fantastic it never gets colder than 25 degrees celsius here and if it does rain it lasts for like 10 minutes

69: what are your favorite board games?

i used to rly like snake and ladders and monopoly :-o

70: have you ever used a ouija board?

im not ready for that kinda death

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea?

english breakfast or earl gray??? those r like the standard right

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it?

ya but i never do bc i either forget to or am just 2 lazy

73: what are some of your worst habits?

being lazy + procrastinating :-D

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

okie :-o ..

they’re great ok ive talked abt them like 10 times in the span of 2 months but whatever folks

they’re super nice, kind and just all of the positive adjectives out there in the dictionary ...... they’ve helped me multiple times and they’re always there 2 lend me a listening ear (or in our case, eye lmao) idk??? im just super comfortable around them always and im honestly so thankful we became mutuals (and subsequently friends) last year!!!! i cant say a lot bc ill just get v repetitive but overall they’re an awesome friend and im glad we still communicate daily via twitter and sometimes our skype sessions even if they’re kinda awkward bc i never know when 2 talk bc im scared ill speak and theyll say smth and itll turn into a MESS which actually happened lmao  

im looking forward to the day our skype sessions become super smooth and easy going!!!

75: tell us about your pets!

i have none but id die for boxys cats

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?

well yeah always tbh but its not smth i have to do but more like want to do im just 2 lazy to get around doing it

77: pink or yellow lemonade?

?? i almost said lemons arent pink but i Remembered...... yellow lemonade

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

i feel like this is an Attack? okay LISTEN so story time again.

on the flight back from japan i watched the alien covenant and i couldnt even get past the scene where the baby alien was gonna kill the poor guy who ended up being locked up with the infected dude as soon as i saw the blood and the alien emerge from the guy’s back i bolted lmao

so to calm myself down nd block that memory from my mind i went ahead and watched despicable me 3.. which HONESTLY im the worst critic ever but in my humble opinion.... the movie was good????????? idk i didnt watch minions the movie though i got lazy again whooopS!

anwyay i sidetracked but im neutral im not a fan but i wouldnt go out of my way to call minions annoying?? bc they really arent? i feel like its only seen that way bc of how people make posts abt how annoying minions are even tho.. they arent??

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?

my memory hates me so every specific thing my friends have ever done for me has left my mind but .

the cutest thing? everything my friends do for me

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

theyre yellow and no i didnt theyve been there ever since i could remember

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.

lava cake

82: are/were you good in school?

yeah i was good in school for like the first three years and this year i just flopped so badly lmao and its my important year too oh well my exams r over and i still dont have a backup plan in mind

83: what’s some of your favorite album art?

all of dance gavin dance’s albums have awesome art

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?

back when i was really into 5sos i thought of getting a tally since that was their logo at that time but now no not really unless i decide to get lance’s face tattooed onto my forehead on impulse

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?

im keeping up with hq, bnha and tg manga!!!!

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?

idk what those r but sure

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

big hero 6

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?

who wrote this whats up with these questions

i googled and.. not really?? they all look nice

89: are you close to your parents?

close enough to stand being in the same room as them but not close enough to want to initiate conversations

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.

tokyo was really cool (literally) and if i ever go again id love to go with friends so we can explore more??

91: where do you plan on traveling this year?

japan was supposed to be the only plan for this year but my grandad passed away so i had to go to malaysia multiple times earlier this year ik this wasnt the qn but ive already went to the planned destination tm so

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?

BARELY SPRINKLES A PINCH im anti cheese

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most?

um. like?? i tie the sides of my hair that cover my face back??? bc i dont like hair in my face

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

bell

95: what are your plans for this weekend?

hopefully something useful

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?

i also click remind me tomorrow lmao

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?

infp-t, capricorn, hufflepuff (same as falen nd jen yay)

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?

uh ive never been hiking and i dont plan on it sorry body

99: list some five (or id never shut up) songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

currently......

when you love someone - day6

like we used to - the rose

crazy sexy cool - astro

death of a strawberry - dance gavin dance

if it means a lot to you - a day to remember

idk if these actually “resonate to my soul” they just sound nice

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?

oh worm.. i wouldnt miind either???

i know i have 2 choose but like

if i go back into the past i could be less annoying?? but the past has actually helped me be the way i am today and i think im learning to be a better person?? im definitely way better than how i was previously 5 years ago and im just grateful i was able to learn from my mistakes???

so i wouldnt go back to the past.

if its in the future i can see how ill end up and if its not good i might end up being able to change myself so i dont get my “bad end”..???? maybe or i can just see what happens in the future and i can look forward to it

itll also give me a chnace to have the most fun while i can if its not too nice

so my decision is to go to the future

thank you so much for asking falen god this got so long lmao

[hansolvrnonchwe]

My Diamond Edge Experience

, alright im just gonna list off everything that happened

so we got there at like 3 

and the concert didnt start until 7

so we were waiting for quite awhile

there were a lot of people selling merch but i didnt want to spend too much money because i wanted to buy official merch

which they didnt sell btw just a warning

i was pissed

but anyway, everyone was super sweet

and there were so many people wearing rose quartz and serenity 

i was wearing black lmao

but people were handing out free bracelets and stuff

and this girl saw that i was wearing my vernon shirt and she gave me vernons 17 Carat black ver. postcard and a Going Seventeen photocard and then she took a selfie w me and my friend

she was just so sweet 

whoever you are, i love you.

and i ended up getting some pretty vernon fanart, a seungcheol photocard, and a Hoshi fan pack (which I did pay $10 for)

i ended up meeting the producer from Form of Therapy which is a v good Youtube channel

my voice cracked so much tho lmao

and he filmed me for a youtube video and i was sO AWKWARD I WANT TO DIE OH MY GOD

i will actually be surprised if he uses the footage

anyway, after several hours we finally got into the venue

i actually saw god when that air conditioner hit me

we went to our seats after realizing there wasnt gonna be merch

and while we were waiting for it to start they were playing the mvs for Very Nice, Check In, Healing, Adore U, Love Letter, Mansae, BoomBoom, and Pretty U all on a loop

and the crowd was so hyped during the MVs alone man

and it finally hot 7:00 and suddenly they played Love Letter again

but it was out of order 

so we knew something was going on

and the after Love Letter they played Dont Wanna Cry and everyone freaked the fuck out because it was the first time they played it

and so we all stood up and after the music video the lights went out

and i swear to i god i was so shooketh

seventeen came out on stage after a dramatic opening and began Pretty U

and it was so loud

i couldnt even hear myself speak

and i tried to wave my lightstick but it had no batteries because im dumb

and they performed a few more songs before pausing to introduce themselves

hoshi was so cute oh my god

he kept yelling “HOSHI’S BACK”

throughout the entire concert 

it was sssoooooo cute

joshua and vernon obviously spoke in english the whole time but the rest of the members spoke in korean and had a translator which was rlly cool

they taught us a fanchant where they would yell “SEVENTEEN CARAT”

and we would clap twice and put our hands to the side and say “EDGE”

it was great

performance unit performed OMG, Highlight, and Swimming fool

and nobody knew the rlly fast highlight fan chant but me and this one girl

and we made eye contact 2 rows apart whilst screaming seventeens names at the top of our lungs

it was magical

hip hop unit performed If I, Check In, and Vol. 14 from the mixtape

ive said it many times but seungcheol had me so shook

he went fucking IN during Check In

like

damn b

vocal unit performed Habits, a spooky version of Dont Listen in Secret, and We Gonna Make it Shine

Dont Listen in Secret is one of my all time favorite songs 

and the spooky version made it so much better

its so underrated

they all performed great bops

like Crazy in Love and Chuck and stuff

and then they stopped to talk again and they were like “yo we’re gonna leave after this song but we love you”

AND I WAS DEVASTATED 

because the main songs they hadn’t performed were Don’t Wanna Cry and Healing

and I knew they were gonna perform Don’t Wanna Cry 

but i was looking forward to healing so much because its my favorite

so anyway

they performed Don’t Wanna Cry

and then left stage

and a video of them all talking about what Carats mean to them started playing w smile flower playing the the bg

everyone was crying

mingyu was like “you guys are my oxygen”

and it was hella cheesy but i cried anyway

and then the video ended 

anD THEY CAME BACK ON STAGE AND WE WERE SHOOK

AND THEY WERE LIKE “IT’S NOT REALLY OVER BITCHES”

and they performed Shining Diamond 

i swear to god ive never screamed “I know I’m only seventeen I only got a few dollars” so loud

and then they performed Healing and i was emo bc its my favorite

and seungcheol got on dino’s back and i was living

and then they all did speeches and stuff

and it was so cute i was hella emo

“HOSHI’S BACK”

hoshi did aegyo

we all wanted to die but oh my god i saw hoshi doing aegyo live

so the concert ended fr

and they left stage

and us hi touch people stayed in our seats while everyone left

it took like 30-45 minutes for hi touch to actually start 

but it was probably so seventeen could rest

when it finally started the line moved quick

security were a bunch of assholes

we were ushered through there, man

Joshua was the first in line and he asked me how i was and we all know how soft and pretty his voice is but oh my god let me just say his voice is so soft and pRETTY I WAS SPEAKING TO AN ANGEL

seungcheols hair was wet and when i touched his hand i squeeled and he gave me a look of concern

my friend was in front of me and she said “layla calm down” in front of vernon

and vernon looked so confused

but then he got to me and he was like “ah yes, that makes sense”

it was so embarrasing i hate myself

at the very end minghao was thanking everyone and i got to hold his hand and tell him i love him and asdfghjkl hes so perfect

i blanked out for most of the hi touch and i dont remember most of it because of how shitty security was

they were yelling and pushing us through so fast

uughhhh i wish i couldve filmed

overall i did enjoy it a lot

it just wasnt super memorable because of how fast we were going

like i literally dont remember interacting with most of the members 

im really mad 

but anyway as soon as we got out there was a girl on the floor sobbing

which i wouldve done too if i wasn’t so disappointed with my hi touch tbh

but afterwards this girl went up to my friend and was like “did you do the hi touch?”

and my friend was like “yeah”

and the girl was like “cAN I TOUCH YOUR HAND?”

and my friend was like��“yeah”

and the girl screamed

and it sounds really weird but i promise it was adorable

and from there the night ended and ive never wanted to die more because of post concert depression

a summary: mmt sucks, carats are the sweetest fandom ever, HOSHI’S BACK, seventeen will literally fuck you up live, its def worth it, my love for hansol was reinforced, seungcheol needs to chill, and hi touch was enjoyable but it also sucked and now i wanna die

[sakuurae]

8 questions tag

tagged by the lovely @jaetennys ^~^ thank you, darling 💖

1) What are your favourite mvs?

Oooo, my favorite music videos. Hmmm... I really like ‘don’t fight’ by ants, ‘사랑해줘요’ by mind u, and ‘take you home’ by baekhyun. Im not really a fan of busy (if that is the right word to use) mvs, ahaha. I like them simple with nice lighting, and telling a short story.

2) do you have like a to-do-list before you die?? (like a bucket list) if so, can you list them down? (im really curious)

Ohhh, yes i do!! Haha, i actually have one written down in one of my notebooks, and its quite long so ill just name a few things. Some things id like to do would be going to tokyo with my friends, go on an endless shopping spree with my friends, have our fashion blog be eminent, and to finish writing an entire novel one day (this would be a dream, ehehe).

A lot of the things in my bucket list include activities my friends, haha, because, for me, the best things in my life are never done alone *~*

3) which one do you prefer; romantic love or platonic love? why?

Hmmm...  honestly, romantic love. In my opinion, of course, its more fun in my opinion and i enjoy the whirlwind of emotions that come from it. From being physically close and cuddling, hand-holding, the narrow focus to them solely in a specific admirable perception—just being intimate and having the deep feeling that is created form romantic love—piques my interest more.

 Though, there isnt anything wrong with platonic love either! I enjoy that as well, but i prefer romantic love.

4) who is the person you look up the most? why?

Prepare for absolute cheese, lmao. I look up to taeyong a lot—no surprise here. But its because of what he went through and how he dealt with it. He went through a lot of fire when he finally debuted, and witnessing the crumble of the pillars that held him up confidently made my heart break. I really admire how he handled the drama. It exhibits a growth he has gone through amid that arduous time period. And, honestly, i related to some fractions of it—of him as a person.

But it is not only that factor alone that makes me look up to him; it is also his drive to become a better dancer, rapper—person. I also enjoy how he takes care of all of his members ;~; he makes it so prominent that he cares for his friends and its very respectful. Hes just always thankful for his members and for everything, its aksdjgfh aghhhh.

What always sticks with me about him is the episode (i dont remember which) in ‘nct life: pep rally’ to which he talks about the controversy that surrounded him. What he says really sparked something in me—dunno, i think im just rambling at this point so ill cut this off here lmaoo.

5) favourite songs of all time?

Aaaah, this really is a difficult one. My favorite songs probably are ‘icarus’ by jj project, ‘what i want to say’ by acourve, ‘i smile’ by day6, and ‘the lovely song when we parted’ by mind u.

I wonder if i make it obvious enough, but i really love listening to k-indie/k-acoustic :) my true list of all-time favorites are on my spotify playlist thats filled with them, ahaha.

6) who is/are your bias? why?

Oh boy... My biases are taeyong and sicheng—as if this information is not written on the walls already, haha.

I literally dedicated a huge passage to a fraction of my love for taeyong earlier, and that heavily contributes to why. But pushing that to the side, i admire him for his talent in dancing, rapping, and everything. He is so resilient and that is a favorable quality in my eyes, aaah. His personality is really laudable as well :)

Sicheng... because he is equally meritorious. He traveled over to korea and had to learn an entirely new language, try his hardest to debut, and so much more. He is doing is best and, just like taeyong, he is putting his best effort out there and is growing :’) i also love how he treats his members too; he is just so lovable to everyone, its almost unbelievable.

7) list of things/people that makes you happy?

- Writing is an obvious answer for me to include, haha. Its a great way to start off my day and a good way to calm myself down from a taxing day. I also enjoy sharing the content i create with others, ahaha;

- Reading is also another element. Every morning i read for a good hour or two before i begin writing. I just sit there with my coffee and leaf through my book. It would be an even more perfect day if the weather is nice and warm;

- Going out with my friends. To be honest, i used to never leave the ensconcement of my bedroom; i would say inside and read, write, or just organize my books and closet. It isnt until around a month and a half ago (i think) where my friends have finally egged me to go out with them (i also believe i posted pictures on this blog of it ahaha) and i enjoyed it wholeheartedly. Now, i go out almost every single day with them, and sometimes on my own. I feel like the complete opposite!!! But it makes me really happy, huhu;

- The friends i made on this website makes me really happy. I mean i dont have much but i appreciate the couple that i do have with my entire heart. Knowing them for a short amount of time is unbelievable because it feels like ive known them for years, and everything has been compacted within the month or two we all started to talk. The closeness is really astonishing, but extremely refreshing! I can go on for a while about how appreciative i am and how happy they make me, especially on days where i feel a little down and talking to them normally uplifts my spirits, but i think this will suffice;

- Coffee. The root of my energy tbh. Keeps me going throughout the day and keeps me on my feet during dance, even though i might be too off-the-walls.

8) what are your fondest memories? (it can be anything! about your pet or your friends etc)

Oh boy, this can go on forever too so ill just write the first one that came to my mind.

It was thanksgiving night with my cousins and we snuck out. Skipping over the minor, stupid particulars, we were being chased by one of the neighbors and we started running away for a good five minutes, which resulted in us becoming lost (because we were at our uncle’s city [and we never visit that town]) at a park.

Afterwards, we sat around on the grass for a long while and started to talk for a long while. It was strange at first since we were never really close to one another, but that night was such a table turner. It was one in the morning and we were all sitting or laying on the grass, talking as we stared at the stars—surprisingly, because i havent seen a clear night sky in the city since i lived over at the country side—and we learned a lot about each other and why we differed, which made us argue a lot. Talking it over for hours, our relationship with each other substantially changed and it was like there was never thick air between us to begin with.

Im not sure if this is adequate enough to be an extremely fond memory; but in my book, it is :D i frequently recall this moment despite it occurring many years ago—because it is that life-changing for me. It sort of made me think that despite the negativity i face with others, the other party always has their own reason to why.

I hope this tag is okay! ^~^ i feel like i revealed a larger fraction of myself than what i usually do, ahahaha //profoundly sweats//.

Im tagging @urbanjohnny @writenct @heartachetosing @hey-uta @thenctcults!  I hope its okay to tag you guys, please dont feel obligated to do this if you feel zero desire to ^~^  

My questions for you:

1. Whats your favorite book, and why?

2. What is a good, life changing moment that always sticks with you?

3. Do you believe in astrology? Why?

4. What’s something you have been forced into (like an activity or class) in the belief you would hate it, but actually love it to this day?

5. Name three things you’re proud of in your life and why :D

6. What is the root of your happiness? How did you discover it?

7. Do you prefer clear, serene starry nights within a forest, or an ocean view during golden hours?

8. What’s one thing that not many people know about you?

Again, you dont have to do this if you have zero desire to!! Ehehe