#also she talks shit abt literally everyone when they're not around

[guinevereslancelot]

bringing lilac boquets for my coworkers not because i like all of them but because i suffer from incurable are you mad at me disease

[cordeliawhohung]

alr alr I will be sending all the p links that remind me of them! u don’t have to post this im just…idk showing them off in the palm of my hand like little treasures

- https://x.com/softintimacy/status/1812019662999228644?s=46&t=Z5vzD1xgw3Rer9-Uz3965A THE MAN IS JUST SOOO SIMON CODED WITH CHIP!!

- https://x.com/lanadelgothx/status/1784665341181723016?s=46&t=Z5vzD1xgw3Rer9-Uz3965A just like this being so…sentual?? it seems like Simon again idk

- https://x.com/akiraevii/status/1802399778883387783?s=46&t=Z5vzD1xgw3Rer9-Uz3965A Simon knows a little too much abt bondage I js know it

- https://x.com/daddyyrough/status/1791610150832247205?s=46&t=Z5vzD1xgw3Rer9-Uz3965A convincing chip to ride him once she’s comfortable enough!! And him just holding her heels. Idk that just turns me on😄😄 hehe

- https://x.com/lanadelgothx/status/1788670746526437754?s=46&t=Z5vzD1xgw3Rer9-Uz3965A the position oh my goddddd even tho that guy is literally a price doppelgänger

- https://x.com/lanadelgothx/status/1740403612768199011?s=46&t=Z5vzD1xgw3Rer9-Uz3965A again a price doppelgänger but STILL

- https://x.com/heliishporn/status/1763706839886119257?s=46&t=Z5vzD1xgw3Rer9-Uz3965A this is just so them (I always say them because I never actually imagine y/n as myself LMAO)

ok that’s it. Sorry that was more than just one link, I just had to share. Hopefully those links work AND idc if u see the weird thing that’s like “this account sent it to u!” bc it’s literally just my random ass Twitter acc LMAO. ALSO SIDE NOTE; I firmly believe that Simon would NOT be a rough sex person, and under any circumstance he was, it could have to be AFTER chip convinces him to be. Probably something like “I’m not made out of glass Simon…you can rough me up a little.” Idk I’m rambling but GOODNIGHT AND I WILL BE SUBMITTING MYSELF TO CHIP NEOW

hello?? a full meal?? i will be responding to each of these like a degen. warning p.links ahead, if that wasn't obvious lmao

1: i'm sorry i'm staring at the wedding ring. and the watch. this is them in like 5 years when they eventually stop beating around the bush and just love each other and build a life mmmmm

2: i watched these without audio so i'm not sure if they're talking to each other at all or not lmfao but this screams first time together chip/simon. just how soft he is, the kisses (imagining since she's a virgin and if this was their first time having to finger her to help her relax after he's misjudged just how much of him you can take which is... not very much lmao) ugh. i love them.

3: man has a dick piercing he DEF is into bondage and other shit. i could see him wanting to do this to you and then asking to make it his background on his phone. consider it a confidence building exercise.

4: the holding the heels is so cute?? oh my god? probably wouldn't spank as much (and would only do it to tease her lmao) but i love it. also, i did write a little one shot a bit before in limbo about simon wanting reader to ride him if anyone wants that lmao

5: ugh the hand holdingggggg. and just like, lazily on your side, i eat that shit up. manuel ferrara the man that you are....

6: FUCKING SHOOT ME HELLO???? the forehead kiss? the way he holds her? just laying together? this is so sososososo simon/chip coded i need to be sedated i need to be put down like a bad dog.

7: the way she just. holds on. for dear life. and he just lets her, stays close to her, doesn't move away or anything. I love it. i love them.

okay now everyone say thank you anon for these lovely videos. i'm going to be thinking about #6 all night actually i think.

(chip feeling bad because she feels like simon is holding back because he's worried about her but she doesn't want him to worry so much about her so she tells him he can stop holding back, that she'll be okay, and he's not mean type of rough it's just intense type of rough and she literally loses the ability to speak i'm losing my goddamn mind.)

[theyapper0]

Litte details abt my Hazbin rewrite that i wanna share :)

OK SO!!! IT'S DOOOOOONEEEE!!!!!!

So I FINALLY finished drawing out everything I wrote out for some major plot point in my hazbin rewrite 😋 BUT!!!

There's some things that I have made art of or talked about that are sorta important (but they're really not, just some silly things that I pictured in this that I never got the chance to talk about yet LOL!!!)

If you don't really care, feel free to skip this but there are some little doodles here too that will basically get all my points across just as well!

-So first point, I've touched on this a little bit here but Niffty and Husk are BROS. Like fr ride or die with each other.

In this rewrite, I want Niffty to have been an overlord like Husk (or at least just as powerful as he is because I feel like Alastor is EXTREMELY attracted to power and he wouldn't just make deals with weak as shit people unless he was gaining something GRAND).

But Husk and Niffty, they both.... really hate Alastor. I think Husk is much more vocal with his hatred towards Alastor but do NOT be fooled, NIFFTY WANTS HIS ASS IN THE GROUND TOO!!!!!!

And I think it's because of this hatred, because of this shared, unfortunate situation that they've both found themselves in in regards to being contracted to the Radio Demon, I think they are really close. Like, they look out for each other and watch each others backs because who else is gonna do it? ALASTOR? LOL!!!!

-Here's my Sir Pentious and Cherri Bomb designs!! I realized when I was making all those drawings for the rewrite that I never drew them! So here they are! 😋

Pentious has prosthetic arms that he made himself not too long after he arrived in Hell YEARS AGO bc I wanted to REAAALLY lean into the whole snake thing. And I also made him more steampunk-y because I think it's cool and that he'd look super adorable with little gear markings on his scales

And I read that Cherri died in around the 80's so I wanted to give her an aussie rocker look LMAOO Wild hair, big ol' hoop earrings and tattered clothes because she's COOL!!

-Niffty is the (m)hotel's maid/rooms keeper still (and it was only SLIGHTLY degrading in the beginning). The biggest reasons Alastor made her the maid is because of her OCD (he's an old man from the 1930's, he thinks OCD means being a neat freak) and because she is able to control all kinds of insects and vermin- which the hotel is INFESTED with

Niffty is also the only one with a spare key to Charlie and Vaggie's house, she's honestly the one they trust the MOST out of everyone at the hotel to have a key to their place in case of an emergency (and she only abuses it SOMETIMES)

-HUSK IS NOT THE HOTEL BARTENDER IN THIS!!!!!!

When I designed the hotel to look more like a motel, obviously there was no place to put a bar and I WANTED THAT! Like, I understand the humor in having a bar in a rehabilitation facility (it IS REALLY FUNNY I KNOW) but I really don't think that, even in this, neither Charlie or Vaggie would allow Alastor or Angel or anyone else to tell THEM what the hotel needs.

Like, they LITERALLY built this place with their BARE HANDS, I think they're both verrrry resistant to any changes and such that others may want to implement (for both the good and bad), even if that person was THE Radio Demon

So instead, Alastor had brought him in as a sorta bodyguard for the hotel (as a huge middle finger to Vaggie, who is not only the hotel manager but also is a very ready protector of this place)

(Husk DOES still sell liquor though, like that is something that is totally happening, it's just very hush-hush. He keeps it in his room and sells it to the patrons of the hotel (sometimes Pretentious and most of the time it's just Angel. Charlie and Vaggie have no idea this is happening))

(Niffty 100% knows since she's the one who cleans the rooms but she wouldn't sell out Husk because that's her bro)

-And speaking of the Radio Demon!!! Neither Charlie or Vaggie are scared of him. I mean, they're not really scared of him in canon (they could be sometimes tho ig)

Charlie is one of the strongest beings in Hell and Vaggie is (secretly) an angel who, as far as they all know, can't be killed by a Sinner. So neither of them are really threatened by him. Vaggie definitely voices this more than Charlie does, in fact, Charlie is almost always more than happy to just let Alastor talk and threaten as much as he wants because she's not violent and is very humble (that's what good people do, right?)

Alastor is also just as good of a Facility Manager of the Hazbin Hotel as he is in canon, and by that I mean he does not do his job and when he does, he sucks at it LOLLLL. He is very unhelpful.

-Sundays are the only day where the hotel isn't doing any reformative work/lessons so it's everyones' day off (it's holy day AMEN!) 

(Charlie WOULD make them pray on Sundays if it wasn't for the fact that every time she would try to guide a prayer, she would bleed from every hole in her body) 

-AND THE LAST POINT IS....

The Hazbin Hotel doesn't JUST do lessons in goodness, they also teach about the 10 Commandments and go on “field trips” to do volunteer work (soup kitchens, cleaning parks, helping Hell with one smile at a time :)

Thanks for reading and be sure to check in tomorrow for the first page of a comic retelling Charlie's meeting with Adam in episode one!!!

[wof-reworked]

ok I can't stop thinking about the jade winglet, here's my gender hcs for all of them

Moonwatcher - she/they (nonbinary)

I feel like this is fun bc rn (in canon) her gender is just "anxiety" but like,,, one day in the future she gets to actually play around with it

like she captures a very specific type of person I've met who you go "oh I mean I know she's gay but she's probably cis..." and then you have like one real convo and find out they're like not only nonbinary but better at it then you

I think she should get to be butch when she's older. I think she deserves being a) massive compared to her two twink boyfriends and b) gnc as shit

Kinkajou- any/all (genderfluid +transfem)

Kinkajou strikes me as being like. totally ambivalent to gender. Kinkajou changes her pronouns based on how the fruit he ate for breakfast makes him feel. Kinkajou is better than you

I think she was like staunchly using she/her for a while bc it just felt right and like changes pronouns situationally- Rainwing village is she/her, Jade Academy is any/all, close friends it varies, etc etc

Qibli- he/they (transmasc)

Qibli's just always kind of known who he is, and has been like. pretty contentedly in his corner for a while. I think it's like- a pillar of stability for him of like "at least I know I'm (x)"

Proximity to Moonwatcher puts the they/them in there bc I think it's nice when ppl get more comfortable so they start branching out a lil bit :> Qibli has like. guy who says "he/they" because he doesn't mind they/them and wants his friends to feel supported y'know

Winter- he/him (cis + gnc)

Look I feel bad making him one of like. two cis ppl at JMA but like I think it's funny if he's cis but inflicts a status effect of gender envy on every trans person in his proximity

guy who does makeup flawlessly because "it's fun" and decimates your sense of identity as you wonder why the fuck god gave these gifts to a man

extra funny for the fact that as a dragonet he gets offended by the implication he's pretty. he gets over it eventually I think

Turtle- she/her or he/she/they (transwoman/trans)

See here. Otherwise I think she's like trans and this could go in like. any fucking direction ngl

transmasc turtle??? hell yeah !!! transfem turtle??? hell yeah !!! gender is whatever Turtle has going on and god knows if she knows it

last egg to crack bc Turtle is immune to self reflection that isn't anxiety and self loathing

"Haha everyone hates how other people refer to them and their gender what do you mean? :)" (entire jade winglet: cringing with worry)

Umber- he/him (cis)

cis and a lil insecure about it but like. he's just nice :)

he's like experimented with pronouns and gender and found none of them really stuck so like. cis+. cis (extended dlc). you know what I mean I hope

gonna be honest I'm lost for him bc I genuinely forget he was there bc he peaced out so fast. justice for my boy I want to know more !!!!!

I could be persuaded for transman Umber ngl,,, it tempts me,,,,,,

Peril- she/her (trans woman)

On one hand I'm torn bc I think it almost doesn't make sense for her backstory BUT ON THE OTHER HAND the idea of Scarlet being supportive of Peril's identity and LITERALLY NOTHING ELSE is hysterical to me

though actually if we wanna get sad,,,, that 100% could be a manipulation tactic of Scarlet. "see I love you I even accept you" etc etc. now I just feel bad man

Peril's also in the same camp of Qibli of knowing this abt herself since she could think and being happy in it. She knows what she's about

BONUS:

Carnelian- she/they/he (transmasc)

Look butch can be a gender and sometimes you're a mean butch skywing idk what to tell you

wish she stayed alive bc her and Moon could've been legendary together. girl who will kill for you vs girl who desperately wants you to do anything else please we talked about this you can't solve your problems with murder

I think Carnelian's true gender is Skywing Patriot and idk how to put that in hc form but this is as best I've got

[transfemlogan]

idk if you were being serious lol, i have trouble with tone. but whats wrong with some of the ts critters?

which ones are "right" and whos just "shitting on anything"?

i am finally off of work & just ate a sandwich so now i can finally talk abt this.

please note: I am referring to a small group of fans within the critical side of things.

On both sides of the community, no one (hyperbole) can ever settle with a middle ground or have any sort of grey area. it's always extreme. it's always "thomas is the worst person ever & all of his actions r terrible" or "thomas is the best person ever & all of his actions are good", when in actuality human beings are complex and cannot be contained in one absolute or another.

Some TSS critical fans focus on things that absolutely do not matter or have the most wild takes I've ever seen. I was one in a sasi critical discord server awhile back and everyone was complaining about Thomas' posting his clothed ass on instagram ... he quite literally underpaying his employees. i think one of these is more important than what he does with his own body.

and the thing is there are some things that he does in regards to his body that IS weird, such as: why is he posting sexually as velma, a teen character, on his patreon which (at the time, idk if it is still now) is not age restricted.

but him posting himself in a spiderman suit where if you look REALLY hard you can "see his underwear" is not the biggest issue in the world. or him not wearing a dance belt in the same costume. sorry, but actually i think you're the weird one if you're focused so heavily on how his genitals look in cosplay! the way you guys talk about it is lowkey leaning towards sexual harrassment, and I don't know if Thomas has an opinion on it or not, but's its incredibly weird regardless.

Shitting on thomas & co, current & past, employees for breathing. there's a new blog going around mentioning how they "hate brei" bcuz she "always starts drama" and the drama that they're talking about is her getting laid off... like. thats not drama, i think an artist is allowed to speak about their experiences with a certain job.

I feel like certain TSS critical fans have such an unrealistic view on creators, in the same way certain non-critical fans do. where non-critical fans think he shouldn't be held accountable for anything that he does, critical fans think every single thing he does is inherently evil or whatever.

"thomas shouldn't be attacking people in his twitter replies" this is an inherently true statement, however there's certain things that really depend on what's happening.

What is this person saying under thomas' posts? Who is saying it? How is thomas reacting specifically?

someone who comments unhelpful & rude ass comments underneath thomas' posts, such as infantalising him by telling him "thomas, thomathy, my sweet child, learn how to wear a skirt!!!" does in fact deserve some heat back because that's fucking weird. telling thomas advice on how to pose for a photoshoot is also probably fucking weird. but a child (or even an adult) commenting how much they miss sanders sides because it's been 4 years? that's fine and deserves a lot more compassion than thomas gives them.

& then you see how some people dm him about certain things or comment on his posts about it, when none of it is warranted. yes it's fucking weird for you to dm him, a REAL HUMAN BEING, and tell him to "hurry up and finish the fucking video"!!!! but its ALSO weird for him to post your username publically knowing how big his fanbase is and knowing how they will react.

im sorry but some fans are, in fact, fucking rude ass cunts. & thomas is allowed to tell you to fuck off. but its important to know when thomas is allowed to do that and when some fans are not being rude ass cunts. thats the point of critical thinking.

and there is some entitlement within the critical side of the community. yes thomas does owe his fans things, no he doesn't owe you certain things.

it's not surprising that he gives sasi upsets on his patreon, it's almost like that's what the point of a patreon is. but he does owe those patreon users something, since they are paying him Money For promised content that never comes.

it's not surprising that he got upset you provided unwanted critique on how he's posing? in a photoshoot? and then didnt... "credit you for the advice" ... thats not exactly how advice works. he does not owe you that. But it is weird how he does take from fan creation and headcanons. after Joan (& thomas, im pretty sure) talked about how they don't like reading fanfiction because they don't want to steal from fans, only to go on and make logan's eyes orange.

(note: i do not know what that user's advice even was, since they never go in depth about it. so maybe it was warranted some credit and not a rude response, but i have no idea so I am going off what I know.)

A lot of fans, again on both sides of the community, think it's a very black & white situation. if one thing applies then everything else does to, when in actuality like .... situations are more complex than you guys expect.

sometimes there's just not a lot of nuance or fucking thinking that goes into some of these takes, and it's one of the reasons I dislike looking at TSS critical blogs now. its why i dislike the concept of a "critical discord server", because no one here can use critical thinking.

i want nuanced, intriguing takes and criticism. not random fucking baseless hate just because you want to shit on him. its annoyingggg!!!

[ferdihound]

Alton OC lore/facts thing :3

at alton towers (fictional one in my head), there are human versions of the rollercoasters that are AI android things. they are all sentient.

from the thrills to the family attractions, there are androids for the rides. (i have yet to design them, trust)

their bodies were built during their construction

every android is sentient AI, some know that they're ai and accept it, some dont know. they get in relationships with eachother, they have friendships, siblings, and enemies, rivalries, ect.

they also get phones... but have restrictions on what they're allowed to say sometimes

more is under the cut incase anyone wants to read. tw for mentions of death

the androids CANNOT leave the park.

why? because they'll either die, or get shut down until retrieved... and there have been many cases of the androids trying to be free.

the known cases of escaped androids are: (these are the coasters i know abt)

oblivion - the old body was never found, just rebuilt into the oblivion we know now. (this is reference to the the queue line video where a ride-car thing went missing) this was before smiler was built.

enterprise - ran away because she heard she was gonna be taken down... but she didnt know that she'd die anyway if she tried to escape. this happened to the old rides at the x-sector too.

nemesis - ran away, was found, and rebuilt into nemesis reborn. her old memories of nemesis is hidden somewhere.

air - the second he left the alton grounds, he died. body was found when galactica was being made.

thats all i have for the deaths for now :3

anyway time for me to yap about my main characters Oblivion and Smiler and how being trapped at Alton effects their mental ai health... and facts about them. time for absolute nonesence because i wanna talk about them

tw for alcoholism

Smiler handles being trapped at Alton since birth kind of well. he has everything he needs. he has the Ministry, his secret lab that not even Alton knows about (because they'll take it away), only Oblivion and the Ministry know about it. in the lab he does actual marmalisation, medical malpractice, ect... yeah he's evil sorry guys. so since he has everything he needs, he's pretty content... at first.

he started getting tired of being treated as an attraction (which he is) and wants some fucking respect (he gets respect from the Ministry, thankfully.), so he started being a bit rude after a year of living. as the years went on, he acts like how he does now.

Smiler snaps often when ordered around by anyone because he has a big ass ego and thinks he deserves respect and thinks hes better than everyone becasue he's THE Smiler.

his AI mind has been around before the rollercoaster was built, so he's alot older because it was kept somewhere by the Ministry for years. (im working on it)

he barely gets a break, he has to work everyday and literally gets paid nothing because he lives at Alton (in the x-sector).

now onto how Oblivion handles shit.

Oblivion... he's been around for 26 years. everything gets boring for him, guests feel the same, everything feels the same. he wants to be outside of Alton because he has places he wants to go. he wants to be able to go to pubs, concerts, raves, ect.

after being at Alton for like years, he picks up drinking because he wants to feel something... the same thing everyday really dulled his emotions. ever since the others at the x-sector died, his drinking has gotten WORSE. and smiler does NOT help with his constant bitching. (smiler did actually kind of help but still, oblivion is too addicted)

oblivion, after the park closes for the day, often sits ontop of his rollercoaster, sitting on the edge of the drop just to see over the treeline, wanting to see the world outside of Alton. he just sits in silence, drinking and smoking until he gets tired/bored and goes to bed.

after him and smiler started dating, oblivion eventually decided to bring smiler up ontop of his ride for their date. its to show he sees smiler as someone important to him.

their usual dates would be walks around the park, feeding the ducks and wildlife there, going in the rollercoaster restaurant, going on other rollercoasters (they arent allowed to do it, but they do it anyway. they get the androids of the rollercoasters to operate the rides for them safely.)

they're only allowed to do this when the park closes for the day, of course.

if you want a silly bits of their life, check out my ask blog

they're keep eachother from going actually insane and attempting to run away because they love eachother <3

anyway, oblivion is an alcoholic and a heavy smoker, there you have it. smiler doesnt drink alcohol, he dislikes it. tried it once and never again... though he does smoke sometimes, only with oblivion on their dates <3

THATS... i think thats all i have for now. its just waffling i wanted to yap about, now yous can go back to your doing your thing

the end

[daydadahlias]

What’s your stance on the Ashton hate right now?

ok so i've gotten a few asks abt this now and i will concede and answer this one because i love the insinuation here that I can have a stance like I'm a politician or smthn <3 thank u for voting and for this platform <3

I'm also going to take the opportunity to say this is entirely my stance, not what i think everyone should believe or i think is the "right" perspective or blah blah yada yada disclaimer disclaimer. no one come at me saying I'm forcing my beliefs on you. you catch my drift. if you disagree with me, that's your prerogative and i frankly just don't care very much.

that being said <3 lock in for a jessay <3

if we're being entirely honest, I think people in the modern age - especially twitter users - actively seek out reasons to be upset. they crave drama like bees crave honey. especially when it comes to ashton tbh. the man can't breathe right without people claiming he's being problematic so I don't put a lot of stock in general in anyone's opinions of him but my own, especially bc I'm in fandom for my own enjoyment, not for anyone else's !! so it doesn't much matter to me what they think of him. i don't value their opinions!

if you'll notice, fandom is a lot about curating your own special little bubble and here on tumblr, literally no one is talking shit about ashton that i follow. it's literally just on twitter that I've seen any hate because twitter is a cesspool filled with chronically online social justice warrior bullshit :) and there's a reason I'm not on there often.

i think hate like this is just point-blank stupid because, as I've said before and I will say again, cancel culture is fucking fake ! it is literally not real and it is invented by people who have miserable sad little lives and want to self-impose their issues and hypocritical views onto others to pretend that they're doing good in the world when, in reality, they're making it that much worse!!

now, don't get me wrong, i really don't mind someone saying to their fave, "hey, this thing you said was hurtful for X reason, maybe you could consider that in the future :)" but I've already seen people saying ashton should kill himself sdfghjk so ! i don't care much for any opinion they have because they undermine their own arguments by telling people to spread kindness by spreading cruelty. it's frankly moronically hypocritical and embarrasses me every time i go online and see it.

as for the actual reason ashton's getting hate right now, i don't personally think it's as big a deal as people pretend it is. and this is getting into my own personal perspectives of things and please feel free to disagree with me on this because i know it's a Hot Take, but i can believe and support victims while simultaneously thinking that anonymous twitter allegations are mostly bullshit.

all allegations against All Time Low were entirely anonymous from a twitter user with no evidence/support/timeline (and, yeah, a random user said there were "97 allegations" but when people asked where she got that number from, she literally admitted she made it up and deactivated her account. but that didn't stop people from just fucking running with the number) and when ATL threatened to press charges for defamation, all of a sudden this anon user disappeared with no further comment. but twitter went wild - as it often does - and completely exaggerated all the actual information given.

twitter spreads misinformation like a disease. that's just the truth. and im certainly not saying all allegations that originate on twitter are fake because they aren't but i am saying that people online need to support victims at the same time that they actually start thinking critically about things. twitter acts like it's "guilty until proven innocent" instead of the other way around.

that being said, i don't personally support ATL because i didn't listen to their music before so this doesn't affect me and - if there is the chance they're abusers, i don't really want to listen to them. But that doesn't mean i tell people to turn them off if they like them or something, or tell them to stop being fans. because it doesn't affect me and i, frankly, just don't care. people need to learn that supporting the artist and supporting the art are two totally different things. you can listen to a song you like without knowing every allegation the artist has ever faced. also, if we stopped listening to every song made by a problematic artist, I'm afraid there would be very little music left.

that's where this brings me to the fact that people are throwing around insane accusations like that ashton supports rapists which is a fucking insane thing to say about a) people who arent even confirmed/charged rapists and b) over the fact he literally just played a song by them? he was DJ-ing for an emo/pop punk night? people would have been shocked if he hadn't played All Time Low??

also, I'm sorry but are you going to boycott every single person and establishment that plays one of the biggest pop-punk bands ever?? if you walk into a store and hear it playing All Time Low, will you never shop there again?? where is the line drawn?

and finally, the whole thing pisses me off because people use it as an excuse to say that they stand with victims and that ashton is actively harming victims by playing All Time Low when, I'm sorry, but no the fuck he's not ?? and, in my opinion, this is actually does MORE harm to victims than it does good? it's all just performative crap to make yourself look "woke".

and, excuse me, but what have you actually done to genuinely fucking support victims other than tell some random rich man who you don't fucking know that he should kill himself for DJing at an emo night?? using all this time to "cancel" Ashton Irwin's privileged cishet male ass could have been spent actually raising awareness about rape or helping actual real life fucking people in your community? this level of vitriol doesn't help anyone. it's pathetic.

this is just my real problem with the internet in general is that people act like hate inspires kindness and education when it does the exact opposite.

so, that being said, i just think the hate against ashton is small-minded and embarrassing. it doesn't mean anything at all. and I'm going to keep enjoying tumblr where people aren't pathetically insane (they're funny insane) and we can just learn how to fucking enjoy things because the world is too ugly right now to not find beauty in SOMETHING, goddammit! i am in fandom to have fun. not listen to people bitch and moan about their uninformed, damaging views of what social justice is.

and i will also spend my time in my real life genuinely supporting victims of assault and abuse instead of just pretending i do on fucking fandom social media.

[maxe-murderer]

so uh, tssm band au i guess

might eventually do the rest of the designs but i doubt im gonna do anything with this au aside from some art and daydreaming

thank you @voltrixz for the continued fueling of my brain rot

ramblings abt the au under the cut

ok so sandmans lead guitar, shocker is rhythm guitar and also electric banjo when the vibe fits and vocals (baritone/tenor range), electro plays bass (can play guitar but mains bass) and vocals (baritone with particularly good low growly notes), vulture gets the keys and can sing but doesn't do much aside from some backup here and there for the whole group (baritone/tenor but like, softer, good falsetto), rhinos drums and vocals (bass), and ock gets the mother fucking theremin he does also swap out for keys tho (but he's mostly a classical piano type)

their style is very all over the place but stick mostly to rock and similar feeling genres. each song tends to feel a bit more like one persons style in particular. they swap around vocals depending on the vibe with the more growly, heavy metal, screaming type vocals going to electro and rhino while shocker and vulture are more traditional ig with their singing. ock does most the composing and vulture majority of the lyric writing. they're in a constant state of breaking up, getting back together, and rearranging members

spider-band! ok so peter of guitar and vocals (tenor, he's the front man), gwen on drums and vocals (mezzo-soprano), and harry plays keys (cause cmon no way he wasn't required to take piano lessons or smth) and will do some backup vocals but like he's not a singer and he knows it. mj joins later on and plays bass, she joins in on the backup vocals (alto) when with the band but does have an insane voice, she does do plenty of solo work tho.

mysterio plays like, everything. but is most known for playing the electric violin cause cmon its a fuckin electric violin that shits cool. high baritone tenor (just like, imagine the phantom ok that was my only thought process with this decision). he did try to go into acting but for as great as he is with everyone on tech he's a little shit to work with if he's onstage and too cheesy for most directors. fucking ate as carlos in a production of legally blonde once tho. he works a lot with chameleon (somehow manages to do great hair, makeup, and costuming) and tinkerers some sorta techie but my tech experience is all theater and i know jack about instruments and shit

black cat imma say is an alto (listen i was an alto for a long while before i became a tenor) and like, i think poppy is a good point of reference for some of the vibes im getting for her. and in general a mix of like, sultry seductive type songs and straight up heavy metal.

ok sandman and rhino were/are obviously a duo, shocker does his own solo stuff and is a part of the enforcers (its straight up country),

literally no fucking clue for kraven. ok i think this is everything i thought of. if you read all of this thank you lmao

ok its 1am and i got shit to do tmrrw love yall talk to me abt this show at any time pls

[17gz]

it just ENRAGES me beyond words that i reconnected with a friend from high school (who reached out to me since i was 1 out of 2 people in our grade of 500+ kids that were visibly out as trans)

because she wanted to let me know that she came out and got on E and told me her name and how she's been doing. we'd been talking for a while.

and i knew her pre transition in high school. she was miserable. and meeting her in person, she was a different person. i saw so much happiness and life in her eyes that i'd never seen before. it was so amazing to see her as who she really is.

i told everyone in my group who was going to pride about her. they all knew beforehand that i was inviting her. i expressed how happy and proud i was of her.

and when she arrived i saw a switch flip in my roommates heads. both of them. including the afab intersex one wearing a niohuru x "big dick girl" bikini for pride. my friend fully said "i use she/her. i don't like they/them, i prefer she/her." and these roommates used they/them for her the entire night.

they were so annoyed that she took up any space at all. they were so annoyed that she was excited. one of these roommates talked so often abt how its hard being autistic. and yet that same person made the rudest and most passive aggressive looks and gestures towards my friend because she's autistic. it was disgusting and juice even yelled at this person at dinner when this person kept doing high school bully shit at my friend.

and when we were forced to confront this person bc "they didnt understand why we were mad at them" we were completely honest and said that their treatment of my friend was unacceptable and disgusting and transmisogynistic

and this person denied all their behavior and even tried to cover it up by saying "i'm just a silly little guy" i wish i was fucking making this shit up i really fucking wish i was. we were stone faced and said they were treating my friend poorly bc shes a trans woman. they said "they'd never do something like that to someone in the community. they're part of the community!" and when juice said they are not incapable of being transmisogynistic, the crocodile tears were running immediately.

and then my friend i've known for 6 years (whos dating that pos) said we were being racist to their partner. and then within 12 hours we dropped the news that we were moving out. we moved out abt 17 days after that. from an apartment i literally hunted down and did all the work to find. and had expressed ALL year that i didnt want to move out from.

cannot stress enough that this roommates partner was staying with us rent free even though i even said they could pay at least $100-$200 per month to help with household expenses since money was getting tight for us and 4 ppl in there vs 3 ppl was rough (but i didnt want to say $800 -$1000 for them bc i knew they were in a tough financial state) (but also we were not doing well either and they took and broke SO much of our shit without offering to do a damn thing about it and spending their money on dumb shit)

and they'd been living rent free at our place for 4+ months. we were coerced into letting them stay w us. and the entire time they treated us like absolute garbage. they constantly made comments about us being fat and how they thought we were ugly.

not to mention. meatball is brachiocephalic. my ex friend was literally with me at the vet appointments where the vets said do NOT have smoke or candles or anything around him.

while i was vacuuming and getting him air purifiers to put around the house and spending over 2k on vet bills, the two of them were hotboxing him in their room when they smoked. i told them a trillion times to ventilate their room and keep the door closed and let the room air out when they smoked and they never listened. we only found out they were hotboxing meatball in july.

not to mention all the racist shit and the painting my friend made where they painted me as a rapist being eaten by them. never done anything like that, i was not ok w them using my likeness and even told them that, i was the darkest skinned person im that apartment, and they felt 0 shame or regret about it. and now theres a painting of me, depicted as a cis man rapist, darker than i actually am, being killed and eaten by this person.

i cannot even begin to describe my anger and rage and disgust and hatred towards this person. i genuinely hope they die. i wish nothing but misery and suffering upon them

[minquiec]

stupid jipunk highschool things

Mostly prior getting tgt cause they're so fxking dumb and ARHGGG

- there's this one time where jia went and did her nails as red and white for fun but secretly it was to match his hair and so she's like walking around school w her new nails and hb pulls up like 'omg love ur candy cane themed nails 😆😆' but the problem is it was the middle of like july. people around them were like r u deadass rn 🗿 and jia kicks him like 'U IDIOT 👹' CAUSE SHES EMBARRASSED HE PERCEIVED HER (she was gonna get embarrassed either way cause when it comes to him she acts a little unwise and silly) and so she like walks off and he's just ???? but afterwards someone probably spells it out for him 😮 ohhhh 😳🤯 cause he's so dumbwbdjwndnw and then later that night she probably posted a insta story w her nails showing AND ITS RLLY DUMB CAUSE SHE DEFINITELY POSTED IT TO LONDON BOY LIKE GIRL UR SO OBVIOUS ATP PLEASE but he probably sees it and starts being dumb and doing that thing where u kinda go insane in ur bedroom and screaming into ur elbow EITHER WAY THE BOTH OF THEM ARE DOING THAG CAUSE RHEYRE SO DUMB AND SO STUPID AND I HAGE THEM he probably took a screenshot

- speaking of her insta, reiterating the fact he probably stalks it, he does this thing where like he'd click on a post and then immediately throws it across his room cause akdnksjdja@)#!# so his phone has a shit ton of cracks in it I doNT CARE THIS SEEMS OOC IM ALLOWED TO MAKE SILLY CONTENT ABT HIM ITS WHAT HE DESERVES HE NEEDS TO BE SILLY SOMETIKES TOO

- they're that type of like couple u see in manga where it's really fuqqing obvious they have the worlds biggest fattest crush on each other to absolutely everyone and everything except for themselves because dumb teenage crushing which is so dumb and so stupid and they're so dumb and so stupid and I hate them so. muchj

- they're in the same class and he sits behind her unfortunately (or fortunately depending on how u look at it) so he's 90% always like sprawling across his desk or he's leaning reaaaally down his chair cause his lanky ass could reach her desk cause he's a little shid and always pestering her 😬 like if he's leaning forward he'd poke her with the back of his pen and if he's leaning back he'd be tapping on the leg of her chair cause he's so dumb and annoying and has such a big fat funking crush it's a little ridiculous at this point I hat e thhh em (x2)

- both of them are actually equally popular cause they don't rlly hang in cliques and are just nice to everyone but her version of nice is different from his version 😭❓❓ idk how to word it SHES LIKE A ☺️👌✨ NICE AND THEN HES JUST A 💥💥😆🔥🗣️🔇🔊🔇🔊🔇 NICE ??? he's a hypeman that's what he is

- there's literally no rhyme or reason for why she started liking him bc it's y'know that situation in highschool where ur literally minding ur business and then you see this one person in ur class too much and ur like okay no hang on. 🛑 but yea it's she literally went like "okay there's this guy in my class who's kinda loud okay whatever 😑" and then a week passes and she's like "omg he's so annoying isn't his face just so annoying like I hate the way I have to break my neck to talk to him omg I just never wanna talk to him again cause he's so annoying" and then flash forward again and this time she's like "ugh I hate his stupid ass stupid face stupid laugh stupid stupid stupid

wait.🧍

Like it's actually so dumb.

And the thing is he wasn't even initially trying to annoy anyone or whatever he's just like that but after he caught feels he started being the most intolerable idiot ever to her half on purpose half not

- actually going back on the 'everyone knows they have a crush except for themselves' thing I think at one point they probably did suspect the other also returned the feelings but they just never said anything cause awkward teenage shids

- so. So much of vague highschool flirt tactics it's dumb. Like it's the kind where like you ask to compare hand sizes or smth or otherwise it's she 'accidentally' squeezed too much hand lotion and smears some on his hand or buying extra snacks LIKE they're. Just so

So

So stupid I can't

They r just rlly silly and give me a lot of cuteness aggression and I kinda wanna squeeze them to death silly silly goofy teenage crushing argh

[streaminn]

enid x JOC polycule anon again

i saw that ask where Yoko is paying Ajax to make all three girls jealous and i thought that was hilarious

when Yoko first tells Ajax abt the idea he’s like ‘no fucking way i will actually die’ then Yoko becomes extremely annoying about it (and offers a shitton of money) so eventually he accepts mostly to get her to stfu (and also the money)

i imagine after taking the deal he lives in constant fear because he can practically hear Wednesday planning his murder every time he’s around Enid, feel Tara’s glares boring holes into his very soul and did Phoebe just growl at him—

and the thing abt Ajax is that (i imagine) it was a mutual break-up and theyre still friends so there isnt any like, super angsty shit going on between them that they have to overcome so yk

one day he overhears the 3 of them talking about the best way to get rid of him and because he’s prolly not very sneaky they see him

so after a few seconds of silence he just fucking runs for his life, screaming as they chase after him

he finds Yoko in the quad and he’s like ‘hEY CAN WE FINISH THE DEAL THING NOW ENID’S SUITORS WERE LITERALLY PLANNING MY MURDER—‘ and then they show up and he runs again and Yoko’s dying of laughter

meanwhile Enid arrives in the quad cuz its lunch and she just sees Wednesday throwing several knives towards Ajax in quick succession, Tara running after him and Phoebe jumping onto him from the second floor wtf—

i just think that would be really funny LMAOAOAO

yeah enjax are chill, they're homies and it simply didn't work out. It left enid feeling like she needs to overcompensate for her relationships tho but she holds no hard feelings

idk about yoko paying ajax to make them jealous because wednesday can be very dangerous and while she enjoys a bit like everyone else, yoko knows that wednesday would maim when willing

So i think ajax genuinely hanging out with enid would help! so they vibin, the girls get jelly because of this etc etc

enjax as bros will forever be neat

[yuukei-yikes]

omg elaborate on your traumatic childhoods for hibihiyo + takane .... iirc takane is raised by her grandma right?

oh!! well it's nothing super awful compared to everyone else's

my hc for hibiya comes from the fact his parents lock him out of the house when he asked to go to the city😭😭😭 the only way they agreed was bc he said he'd study but even like that they didnt want it he had to lie abt a special course abt india and pretend he was obsessed with india. which is a very funny bit BUT yeah they lock him out of the house at night. with WOLVES.👎 awful move amamiyas.

my hc actually leans a bit more to what the anime shows since in the novels both his parents do that but in the anime it's the dad. so my hibiya hc is he comes from a Toxic Masculinity Household. he's from an old fashioned farmer family in a small village yknow (they have a dojo in the anime buuuut farmer hibiya is real 4ever👨‍🌾 idk why the anime did that. idk why the anime did many things)

anyways so his dad biggest piece of shit person alive. his mom. his mom is NICE hibiyas definitely close to her while he's afraid of his dad but i think she is maybe the kind of mom to break down all the time and be like oh poor me my life is misery and hibiya feels responsible for her. like she is not bad shes just been married to an awful awful guy for many years, she's a victim but also makes it very known she's a victim. hibiya definitely is the type of kid who feels like he has to shield his mom. hibiya's mom i love you. she is said to pour him tea in the hallway while he waited for hiyori to call him (before locking him out of the house but like i said im ignoring that it was just the dad 2 me💥👨‍🌾)

FOR HIYORI look ayaka literally ESCAPED from her parents. hiyori didnt KNOW she had a sister. and they're rich people. i think they're very old parents and hiyori is a last minute kid bc their first one was a Bust according to them so they'll have another Heir and this time do it RIGHT that means eyes on her all the time, giving her 0 autonomy but also absolutely everything material she asks for so we keep her under control. something like that. just very controlling parents but i also hc hiyori is so off the rails after the august in the city and they're pretty old already so they're like Ohhh god. and they're always fighting lol but before that hiyori was like Yes sir with them. think the northwests in gravity falls lol

and for takane I've obviously talked of her. but answering what u said, honestly we dont actually Know if she was raised by her grandma. and if she was, it's her grandparents! both!! her grandpa was around til his death, which is implied to be a little before or after takane starts highschool since he picked that school for her. her parents work overseas but her grandparents take charge to the point they're choosing what school she will go to etc, you know?? these arent headcanons btw that's all canon. we just dont know.... why. im so curious bc it's so oddly specific lmao like why werent the grandparents just. parents. but no. she's said to live with her grandma but used to also have a grandad and her parents work overseas. like. what. what was the need to come up with all this bro

anyways my headcanons. i do hc she was raised by her grandparents. since the parents work overseas im assuming they're very career oriented, and since the grandparents are both individually mentioned to be super worried about takane's illness, im assuming the grandparents were like can you STOP taking this sick kid from place to place and the parents were like fiiiine. here u can have her😐 and that's it lol i dont think they're rich parents or HORRIBLE PEOPLE i know it's popular to hc them as these Awful Horrible People i personally think they aren't Mean. they just are not AROUND. i dont think they'd be mean to her if they saw her i think they'd just sit there rly awkward like so... how is school going.... but they Won't because they Don't care👍

my extra hc is that the grandparents dont get along with the parents bc of this, or they're like wtf how did we raise someone who ABANDONED THEIR CHILD. so they raise takane with that in mind a lot and amd and and they're family.... and love each other... we do also gloss over takane losing her grandpa i know it's cuz its BARELY MENTIONED AND ITS AN ODDLY SPECIFIC DETAIL WE JUST. HAVE. but she was like 15 or 16 when he dies bro u_u fuck the tateyamas crying for ayaka can i see how my girl ene was doing losing unnamed grandfather

[lakesbian]

General thoughts about the reveal on who the Maggie in the Toronto arc was?

Also general thoughts on the arc?

i think its fun that she and blake are both connected (& she's the last tether blake has to anyone knowing he exists) via having both slipped through the cracks due to Whoopsie-Daisies. also say what u will about literally everything else in wb's writing but i like how girls in wildbow novels are more often than not grungy and a little weird. already talked abt the goblin thing some in the last maggiepost but i do really like the goblins. "pure distillations of the dirty abandoned scraps of the world which exist solely to kick you when you're down" is an extremely coherent and fun spin on goblins. the constant "fat = gross" associations are insufferable but the rest is solid. the padraic thing isn't one of the iterations of maggie's prophecy but it does feel fitting for her character that the girl who was initially inducted into being a practitioner via living somewhere that was slipping thru the cracks was fucked over for a Second time via slipping thru the cracks. i hope she is fucked over a Third time by it for rule of three. also i was in fact correct previously when i said this:

i also think she’s probably still in over her head without realizing. she’s manipulated into ordering someone’s murder and then is like “you know i think i can make up for this one AND go on a fun little adventure to add to my scrapbook of knowledge at the same time.” that’s not how reality works! you killed someone! and then tried to semi-earnestly befriend slash mooch from their cousin! she’s only been a practitioner for six months–i think there’s a very fundamental disconnect btwn the maggie that’s lucky enough to still have parents she can be a normal silly teenager with and the maggie that’s making forays into The World Of Backstabbing, Horror, Murder, and Fates Worse Than Death. and i think that disconnect will result in strain for her as the fact that she’s sort of doomed to do some really awful things, have some really awful things happen to her, and/or both sinks in.

except instead of just Strain. that fact had to sink in via her doing, as sandra put it, the magical equivalent of crashing a car 2 learn respect for the road. YA protagonist maggie holt died in the crash now it's just wannabe goblin queen mags scrambling 4 purchase in the wreckage. i believe in her i hope she captures sooo many crass little creatures. i'm glad that buttcheeks stuck around he's fun to watch :)

i don't feel like we actually know johannes yet. the thing about the really successful practitioners is that they're doing less Desperate Violent Scrabbling to maintain their positions and subsequently have more luxury of ostensible niceties and lofty philosophies. they should throw a bucket of mud on him and toss him to the wolves so i can see what he's like when shit gets real. also the entire arc is a really funny demonstration in how severely being a thorburn has fucked blake over. everyone is sooo much nicer to maggie than him he's out there playing on hard mode. this is what i mean when i say that alec would b a diabolist, diabolism is fundamentally abt when you are marked Rotten by the world by virtue of the family you've been born into, defined more by their legacy than by anything about yourself, even moreso than the other brands of practitionerism.

hmm anything else. oh yeah i think we should flog wildbow for crone mara. ok thats all. OH yeah and Not Being Maggie Holt Anymore is a really funny way to skip out on the other iterations of the prophecy. its that fairy bitch's problem now. i have a lot of thoughts on pact faeries but that's a post for one of the "why are pact creatures good" asks just know i'm rotating them in my mind rapidly

[sillywormz]

THEME OF BEGINNINGS AND ENDS YOURE SO RIGHT!!!!!

can we also briefly talk about poor fucking Sam lmao. he is Under Attack by creatures for most of the show. I also low-key. would have loved for kamen and Sam to talk. both of them apologize. maybe that's out of character but I just really wanted some resolution for them. i really like the thought of Ursula talking to him after he dies, she's alone in the captains room or whatever and just talks to him about what's going on. tell him "we're not leaving, but we'll survive"

also. consider. levi painting I think she would enjoy trying all sorts of creative hobbies but I Know her paintings would be stunning!!! AHHH OMG LEVI SINGING TO HER BABIES. KNITTING THEM LITTLE CLOTHES!!! whittling little toys.

sam is literally the show's punching bag poor fella.......... i loved sam sm he's a good guy he didn't deserve what happened to him :-( part of me still hopes that if there's a s2 he could come back somehow even though i know that's completely unlikely lol. i'll miss him a lot

a resolution between him and kamen would've been so interesting, but imo i highly doubt either of them would apologise. kamen is still probably too prideful to apologise bc apologising would mean admitting he's fully responsible for the mess they're in, and i don't think he's ready to accept that yet, or at least he wasn't while sam was alive. and given that kamen got them into that mess and has continued to do shit that makes things worse for everyone i.e., the hollow shenanigans, i doubt sam would see a reason to apologise to him or accept an apology from him........ maybe if they had some time where they were forced to work together and learn more abt each other they'd find common ground and make up but i think it's probably a dynamic that would've been permanently antagonistic, even if sam had survived 😔

I LOVE THE IDEA OF URSULA STILL TALKING TO SAM........ he was her only companion for months and i'd imagine it'll be hard for her to adjust to not having him around anymore. even though they weren't even friends before the crash they ended up relying on each other for survival after it, and imo there was even a spark of romantic chemistry starting up between them............. and then ursula lost him when they were so close to the demeter. i think sam was often a grounding presence for her and they did a lot of mutual mediating and helping for each other, filling each other's weak spots etc. it makes sense that she'd maybe ask him for advice etc even after he's gone, as a way to think through in her head what kind of decisions he might have made in the same situation.

I LOVE THE IDEA OF LEVI BEING AN ARTIST SO MUCH......... she already sings and composes her own music so it makes sense that she'd branch out into other areas as she explores her independence and sentience........... THE IDEA OF HER MAKING THINGS FOR HER LITTLE BABIES IS SO CUTE. i love the idea that even though she was originally just a robot and is still partly robotic, she'd do little kind nurturing things for her kids like other animals do for their babies. bc i guess she kinda IS an animal/organic being now. she's a whole new Thing altogether really, and her babies are the first generation of that Thing after her........ i'd love to see them interact with her more........

[boyswanna-be-her]

Let me preface this by saying that I'm recounting all of this kind of mundane shit about BFR for myself because guaranteed I'm going to be trying to understand/recap this narrative while im lonely in colorado. And honestly I know it's gonna be easy for me to forget details and second-guess shit that feels so obvious to me in the moment. So if you don't want a blow by blow of this absolutely PG romantic relationship, just skip this one for now.

Today was really nice and the first day in a little while where I haven't had anything pressing to do. It was pouring at the clinic today--has been all week. Yesterday I sat in my front seat w BFR and we smoked a joint together and made fun of the one wet protester until the rain passed. Great morning.

We had lunch together at one of my favorite taco spots in my old neighborhood, and then we had to walk back to the thai place where we ate dinner the night before bc they'd left their sunglasses behind. We went to a coffee shop for a while where they patiently waited for me to be done with a working meeting on my laptop. Then we took a walk in the park in between rain. It was just seamless, idk. There's no question that we'll go do the next thing together. When the rain wouldn't let up at the park, I suggested we go to one of my fave places in the city, and I drove us to a giant used bookstore that was a few miles away.

I didn't realize until we got there that they'd never been before!! I try to take everyone I can there if they're from out of town, and it is ABSOLUTELY my favorite place to both take a new date and have a special date with an established partner. I don't feel guilty about taking basically everyone I've ever dated there--a good date is a good date. There's a lot of built-in conversation to be had and it's easier than a bar and free to wander around. We accidentally killed an enormous amount of time there, and we shot the shit about 20th century history which is my jam, so amazing to talk abt it w someone who can hang, READS, and doesn't have anything to prove in terms of static knowledge recall.

We hung out for a little while but they had yoga and I wanted to head home so we split up after that and it felt... weird? Like it always feels like there's this last step we are missing to our goodbyes. They forced a hug one time when we were saying goodbye from the clinic, but it was really early on and RIGHT when I was coming to terms with being attracted to them (like second time seeing them after having the realization) which means I was in ultra robot mode, and also assumed it was one-sided and they were just trying to be nice. Like I literally think I did a one arm side hug and they were so dejected they never tried again. Now we're weeks later and it feels weird that we're not kissing goodnight or something.

But I had the evening to myself and finally broke down and talked to someone from my real life about them. He was very affirming that I'm not insane, and just recapping the timeline to someone made it make more sense in my mind. I didn't even have to present half of my evidence for my friend to say yeah, that's going in A Direction. I just second guess it all for a variety of reasons, but for example when I screenshotted a text and sent it as evidence that I feel like they text me like a coworker sometimes, my friend pointed out that nobody in the history of neutral coworkers has ever crafted such a long and careful text. Which. Touche.

This morning we were back out at the clinic bright and early. My friend was supposed to join us but she couldn't at the last minute. Instead she dropped into the chat and asked if someone could fill in for her. If I didn't feel like we were already attracting attention (spoiler: we are), i would've REALLY preferred to jump in and say "noooo worries, no third wheel needed please." But we are getting a little visible. So I didn't. And BFR's friend jumped in to take my friend's place volunteering with us.

I ended up being really happy the friend was there though! The two of us are more like a couple when there IS a third person there, although the vibe can be a lot to navigate sometimes and I often have to shut down and take some time to myself. It wasn't unwelcome to have him there though. It makes the vibe between me & bfr more apparent, pronounced, whatever. We already have such a shorthand in common which 😍 wrow, communication fluency.

I invited his friend to lunch with us, and he accepted, and it was fun--I took them to my favorite Greek place which is legit like three blocks from the clinic.

Friend went on his way, the two of us moved to the next location: their favorite spot to work. I also love this location bc you can watch the afternoon rain and vape furiously on the porch without getting wet. Like I said, today was the first day in a while where neither of us had much to do in the way of work. They have been threatening to inflict their favorite board game on me for a while now, and it finally happened today. I am notoriously uninterested in board games (more like bored games amiright) but the combo of my biggest fan being excited to teach/compliment me on how AMAZING i am at it (rofl lying but ok) and the inherent fun of the game meant that I, uh, had a lot of fun, unfortunately.

We did two REALLY close rounds, and in the second game they almost fully missed a work call they had at 7:00 (I remembered bc i am insane but I also didn't mention it until 6:50 bc I thought maybe they were goofing on me and pretending like they'd lost track of time). Turns out they had been planning on muting and barely looking at the meeting anyway bc they didn't wanna stop playing--which is flattering but I'm also like "[Redacted], i already very much want the best for you, INCLUDING not becoming completely codependent and risking your living bc im so charming and fun" so there was a lot of me pausing the play and asking about the meeting.

By the time that was over, we were already butting up against the time we were supposed to meet their friends to lift tonight. We hadn't eaten dinner but they offered to feed me at their place which was perfect. We went straight back and holy shit their homemade leftovers were delicious.

Their friends came on time to lift and the first thing out of the mouth of the one who knows me better was "you and [redacted] have really been spending a lot of time together huh?" The two of us made eye contact and kinda laughed and BFR said "yep" and both made the 😬 face and the friend wouldn't let it go and repeated "you guys spend all day together now..." and my 😬 face couldn't get any more intense and he said "all day... today..." i said "yep we're pretty codependent." (I'd made the same not-joke yesterday when I was very truly pointing out that I don't remember what to do with my alone time anymore, and they not-jokingly replied "yeah we've ruined each other." Which like. At least we're aware.) Only later did I realize that BFR mustve been talking to the friend about it bc I definitely wasn't and there was no public talk about it in our shared discord so 👀 bitch i see u chatting in private abt me.

Lifting was incredible as always. Their friends who are a decade younger than us and sometimes join us, sometimes don't, really crack me up and I have such a good rapport with one of the guys that I think I lift better with him around (the one who was giving us a hard time tonight). He dishes out the abuse I give him while lifting, which I love. Between him and bfr, I feel like a fucking all-star lifter in that little garage gym. They talk positively about my form when they don't even realize I can hear them. Even so, BFR will not hesitate to call me out when a lift looks bad or I need a cue.

So yeah. It's nice. Hanging out at their place, being fed, getting let in on a LOT more inner details than I got in the first months of knowing them. That's all lovely. I always try to text them and let them know when I've had a lot of fun with them, and that's just basically turned into a nightly check-in. On Sunday, I got a very coworkery (imo) message from them about enjoying our time together, thanking me for my "wonderful company," thanking me for spending so much time together, thanking me for attending so many events with them, and saying that they are "definitely down to keep hanging out in the future." At the time I felt like "that's a weirdly formal way to put all this" but getting home to tonight's much more neurotic message made it make more sense (along w the feedback from a trusted friend who makes good points). Like it was a careful message because they are being exceedingly careful with me. They know some of my more obvious damage (all the psychic sucking chest wounds are hard to ignore after a few weeks of learning about me, and i've been going out of my way to be quite "warts and all" with them). They value our time together A LOT. And the more that I understand our similarities, the more I know that they're also likely really fucking scared to endanger the chemistry of this friendship by introducing ANY other dynamic.

Im finally getting to the end here. Tumblr will probably eat this entry. I'm posting it before a full edit--RIP anyone parsing this.

But the message that I came home to tonight was FINALLY a little more vulnerable, and essentially said that if I want to spend LESS time with them, I'm going to have to tell them that straight up, and that that'll be ok, but if so they need to lnow because this is the amount of time they want to spend with me (all of it), and they don't anticipate that changing.

So! Guess I'll puke and die now! Literally spent five minutes last night considering how I could smuggle them to Colorado with me. Also I haven't had anywhere to put this but since this is an all-bfr all the time blog now, we are going to go on a trip together to chicago in August! There's an actual reason to go other than lovefest vacation (pretty much a work trip for them that I've been asked to tag along for) but as we are actually finalizing the trip plans, it definitely feels more than a little bit like we are going on a lovefest vacation. Which is all the more reason why it would be great to not be hella conspicuous (even though it's a little fun being hella conspicuous).

Like I didn't need another human to come validate my existence, but I *did* need to meet someone who could threaten the idea that I'm ready to die alone. It's nice. It's all nice!! I'm definitely not crying and throwing up!!!

[ddejavvu]

ohh i have SUCH a controversial jennifer jareau opinion. and this is probably gonna be more like an essay. i wish i could say i was sorry.

everyone always says theyre anti jj slander, which is fine ofc, but just weird bc i NEVER see anyone slandering her. in my 3 years in the fandom, ive seen it happen maybe 5 times total, which sucks because she deserves so. much. more. hate.

(spoilers for *that* jeid plotline, as well as some other things)

in season 7, spencer tells her that she has mean girl vibes and she replies "i was a nice girl, especially to guys like you" which ALWAYS pissed me off because she literally just confirmed what he said? and everyone acts like it was a funny joke. she said that shit with her whole chest and meant it, and it wouldnt be *that* big of a deal if it was the only time. but shes consistently mean to him throughout the show, ignoring him, walking away, etc. spencer isnt even the only one shes like this to. and she just has a sense of superiority, idk how to describe it. just by the way she talks and interacts with those around her, you can tell. (while we're on that note, she also ignores her privileged a LOT. maybe not all the time, but theres been multiple times where she acts like she went through hell to get where she is. other than her sister passing, she had it completely easy. in terms of resources, opportunities, etc., she was basically born with a golden spoon in her mouth.)

in s14 when she confesses to spencer that shes always been in love with him, it just makes my blood boil. obviously he had been over her a long time (imo), but that was something she should've kept to herself bc it just brought alllll those feelings back to the surface. not to mention that hes the godfather of her children, and shes married, and will probably (definitely) doesnt know how she feels. thats literally emotional cheating on her part, even though reid didnt reciprocate it, it was still wrong of her to be that close to him without will knowing how she really felt.

there are other things i dont like abt her too, but those are the main things and im trying to keep this as short as possible. but i literally cant stand her, shes by far my least favorite character, and everyone acts like shes an angel sent from heaven, when really shes just a privileged bitch.

i like JJ a lot (i want her to be my mom </3) but i do agree with several of your points - she's definitely not the worst character, each and every character has a list of flaws that we could make, so this by no means makes her the worst, but it does make me angry <3

i just rewatched that 'mean girl' episode!! she doesn't even hesitate before saying 'guys like you', which, you're totally right, means he was right, and she was definitely a mean girl in high school. or even if she didn't say any of it out loud, she was still silently judging 'guys like him' and in high school you can always tells who's silently judging you. they're teenagers. they're not silent about it. the nasty looks they give you?? oh man. but i do think that the blame for ignoring spencer needs to be placed on all of the team members, because they do it all the time too, it's not just her. she has some pretty bad moments with him, but it's definitely something they all do and she shouldn't take the full blame

lmao don't talk about jeid. the writers actually deserve the death penalty for that, god it was so nasty and weird. i know that it was something she confessed in the heat of the moment, like she wasn't sure she was gonna make it out alive and didn't wanna die without saying it but ??? WHY WOULD YOU PUT IT ON HIM TO DIE THREE SECONDS AFTER FINDING OUT ??? like great it's off your chest but now he's gonna spend the (very short) rest of his life thinking about it?? AND THEN THEY DIDN'T EVEN DIE LMFAO SO HE WAS JUST STUCK WITH THAT !! and yeah!! will!! what about will!! or her kids!! it was so... writers i'm watching you...

one scene of hers that really pissed me off was in reid's kidnapping two-parter in s2 (the hankel incident) where she was almost attacked by those rabid (?) dogs and she shot them and she's obviously shaken up and she tries finding reid and realizes what happened and she feels so much guilt for splitting up with him - which was not her fault, she didn't know and should not be held responsible for what happened to him - that she started trying to make other people mad at her?? she cornered derek who was grieving and stressed at the loss of his best friend and they're both sleep deprived and she says something like 'admit it, you hate me, you think it's my fault' AND I???? GIRL. he is being so nice to you?? he was literally like oh honey if you need time off i know you're really shaken up and we can take care of this and and and AND SHE WAS LIKE oH yeah suRe just admit it i'm the worSt everybody hATEs mE- I WAS... this is not about you. go get therapy for the dog attack that you just almost suffered?? do not stand around a crime scene and pester the victim's best friend and delay the investigation because you're feeling guilty. go talk to someone about it. take a few days off. again, i totally get that she was shaken up and hopped up on adrenaline, but everyone told her to go get some rest and she was like no i think i will make myself the problem instead <3

all of that being said i still love her </3 i was not kidding when i say that i wish she was my mom holy shit i would have loved to grow up as her kid but she definitely has her flaws just like the rest of the BAU, and logical, critical breakdowns of a characters flaws aren't slandering, they're analysis, so i think everybody needs to stop shitting on people who criticize or analyze their faves lmao

send me your unpopular fandom opinions