#also sorry the wheelchair is so shitty

[felsicveins]

Make Otto flirt with Julien, please

They're not each other's type ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

[humanitys-strongest-bamf]

Hiii congrats on 2k! 🥰😘 can I request canon post war Levi x reader exploring the world they fought for and cuz I have to include this the reader blurting out how pretty he is and him calling her a brat

Sorry for this oddly specific weird request I'll go back to my corner now lol

I LOVE THIS PIC SM SDKFJKSDJF HE'S SO POUTY

turned this into a oneshot oops LMAO i just love postwar dadvi sm 😭

also shout-out to @chaotic-on-main for the cute idea of levi trying to explain the rumbling through shitty drawings

Just Being You | 2K Follower Event | Post-War Dadvi Oneshot

✧ word count ➼ 1.2k ✧ notes ➼ post-war, fluff, levi's attempt at explaining the Rumbling to a six year old lol

"Daddy, why is the island the only place that doesn't need to be fixed?"

You looked down at your six-year-old daughter that had been spinning in circles just a few seconds ago that was now kneeling next to Levi in his wheelchair, bombarding him with questions regarding the Rumbling.

The three of you were currently on a boat traveling back from Paradis Island, having decided to take a few weeks of vacationing to see the Titan-free world that so many had been sacrificed for. You were on your way back from the island after showing your daughter where her parents met, as well as some of the nicer areas of the island that wasn't overwhelmed with their military forces, like the beach or the meadow that you and Levi commonly snuck off to when you were overwhelmed.

You quickly tried to formulate some response about how it was too complicated for you to explain right now, not wanting to expose your six-year-old to the horrors that nearly caused the extinction of humanity, but you looked towards Levi as he reached into his bag to pull something out to help answer her question.

This wasn't that much of a surprise to you. Levi wasn't a fan of lying to her. He never was the type to sugarcoat or make up some cheesy story to avoid exposing kids to the grim reality of what had happened, and he especially wasn't the type to do that to his own kid.

You saw him pull out his sketchbook that he had recently picked up, wanting to pursue some type of hobby that he could do from the couch or his wheelchair on days when his knee was flaring up.

You watched as he began to draw out the Titans, explaining how big they were compared to humans, and how colossal the Titans involved in the Rumbling were, eventually going on to explain that the big Titans came from the island and spread throughout the world. You found yourself considerably impressed with how he was explaining the war without going into too many details regarding the xenophobia the world had against the Eldians.

"What's that?" your daughter asked, genuinely interested, but also confused as Levi began drawing the structure of the Walls.

Levi wasn't a great artist. He had started drawing the Walls to explain how the Titans moved during the Rumbling, but it was from a top-down perspective, so it just looked like three circles surrounded by stick figures.

"The walls that used to be on the island," he explained with a sigh.

"Is that the island?" she asked, pointing to the dot at the center that was supposed to represent Mitras. "Why were the Walls built in the ocean?"

"They weren't," he explained, trying to hide the irritation in his voice over his inability to draw something comprehensible. "That was Mitras, the Capital and center of the island. The Walls surrounded it."

You watched her nod rapidly as he explained whatever it was that he was trying to draw. Despite how much he was struggling to get his point across, she seemed to be genuinely interested in the history of the island.

"Why are there people floating?" she asked after he began explaining how you used mobility gear to fight against the Titans to compensate for how large they were.

"Is that supposed to be me?" you asked, finally leaning over to see what it was that he was trying to draw, and pointing at a stick figure that vaguely had a hairstyle matching yours.

Levi paused and you could tell that he was getting exasperated with the comments and questions.

You could almost hear him blatantly groan in relief as he cursed underneath his breath once your child's attention was ripped away by a dog belonging to another one of the tourists running by.

"Mommy, can I go play with the puppy?" she asked excitedly while tugging at your shirt.

You nodded, reaching down and fixing a strand of her hair that had formed into a loop after getting tangled.

"Just don't go too far, okay? And be nice to them. I'm sure that poor puppy is overwhelmed."

You watched as she ran off to play with the dog while incoherently explaining Levi's history lesson to them.

Sighing, you sat down on the bench next to Levi as he pinched the bridge of his nose, quickly developing a headache from how flustered he had gotten while trying to explain a somewhat complex topic to his child that had yet to develop an attention span.

"Maybe we can pay for you to get art lessons once we get back home."

"Don't start," Levi grumbled, barely letting you finish your sentence.

You chuckled at his reaction as you grabbed at the drawings he had produced. They were indeed terrible and barely comprehensible, but ended up looking quite cute as a result, despite the fact that they were attempting to depict a bleak reality.

Your smile gradually faded as you got reminded of the horrific events that occurred surrounding the Rumbling, and even before then, when you were trapped within the Walls, with your comrades dying left and right while fighting in what seemed like a hopeless war.

"Lev'," you voiced, getting his attention, "don't you think she's a bit too young to be explaining all this to?"

He glanced over at you.

"What, you want me to lie to her instead?"

"She's six," you reminded him. "I don't know if she can even comprehend the fact that nearly all of humanity was wiped out."

Levi paused for a moment, knowing that you were right. It was a big topic to be explaining to someone so young. Still, he wouldn't have felt right lying to her in a vain effort to protect her innocence while living in a world that was nowhere near innocent.

"She's a smart kid," he eventually murmured. "She'll manage."

After noticing that you weren't responding, he looked over at you, and saw you eyeing him with a warm smile on your face, despite the fact that the two of you were in disagreement over this topic.

"What?"

"Hmm? Oh nothing, it's just..."

You trailed off, slightly shaking your head as you tried to keep the smile on your face from growing too wide.

"I just love seeing you with her like this. It's almost like it's in your nature—being a dad," you mused, your heart warming. "Never thought I'd be fortunate enough to get to see papa Levi on a daily basis."

You looked at him as you smiled, noticing the slight tint that had appeared on his cheeks.

"Plus, I never get to really appreciate how god damn pretty you are when you're just...being you."

Levi was clearly struggling to hide the blush forming on his cheeks and ears at this point, and cleared his throat as he shifted around in his chair after averting his gaze.

"What?" you teased, noting his struggles in maintaining that aloof demeanor that you had worked so hard to break down throughout your relationship.

"You're such a brat sometimes," he grumbled, annoyed—and a tad embarrassed—at the fact that you pointed out his natural tendency when it came to fathering your child.

You chuckled as you leaned forward and placed a gentle and quick kiss on his cheek.

"Love you too, Ackerman."

tagging since this was an actual oneshot! :3 #: @chaotic-on-main @levisbrat25 @leviismybby @moonmalice @averysmolbear @cathybarn @tclbts @emiwhore @bejewelledd @sad-darksoul @ackermendick @aomi04 @apolloshaiku @laraackerman @pulpolicia @raenacreates @nube55 @roseofdarknessblog @saenora @noctemys @sixpennydame @sleepyfairyxo @heichoucleanfreak @svftackerman @catskze @nixie-writes-aot @la-undercover-latina @v4mp-wife @darkstarlight82 @professorweezy @braunsbabe

[reasonsforhope]

Sorry about the Paris SUV parking fee post and thanks to the people in the notes

who pointed out that that law is going to be a huge problem for disabled people and especially physically disabled people and people who use wheelchairs.

You guys were totally right. It is going to be a huge problem. It's shitty for disabled people, and furthers the unfortunate rising trend of disabled people being hurt in the name of environmentalism.

It also belatedly occurred to me that the law will suck for people with larger families and/or multigenerational households too. Both of which are things that correlate with class and race. After all, you need an SUV if you want to take more than five people anywhere in one car (legally and safely, anyway).

Tbh I'm esp like ://// at myself for not realizing this on my own because like.... I literally drive a disabled van sometimes for work. I literally rode in one the day I wrote the post and drove one the day after I wrote the post. Also, I'm disabled and spent several years of my life physically disabled with significant mobility limitations. And yet!!!!

My anger at increasingly mega oversized cars/trucks got to me (fuck Ford F-150s in particular!) and I totally didn't think through the implications.

So, yeah, my bad, and thank you again to the people who pointed that out in the notes!

[baelpenrose]

Project Praetorian 40: New Arrivals p2 What they're Capable of

This one focuses on Kimmy, and snaps back to the ride over in the blackhawk. Pretty much all the new arrivals have LAYERS.

Beta read by @canyouhearthelight and @writing-with-olive

Oh, TW for more of Jared being himself, which after last chapter should require no more explanation. Also for Imperator being almost unbelievably evil and ableist. Like, Jared is a prick, what Imperator was planning with regards to Kimmy is horrific.

Oh and see if you can count the layers in the title.

Kimmy

The arrival to the new base wasn’t exactly making a shining first impression. First she’d been yanked out of a wheelchair, had her chair shoved into a shitty chopper, and then she’d been forced to fly for hours with a douchebag white supremacist, a girl who was probably cool but who she couldn’t talk to for language barrier reasons, and a dude who would probably be fine but who was busy having anxiety attacks about flying in a helicopter. 

So functionally her discussion choices were either the neo-Nazi dick or silence. She chose silence. That is, Jared made a snide remark to Micah that even the cripple was keeping her cool better than Micah was. 

“You’re really lucky we’re all strapped down so I can’t slap you. Actually, honestly, you’re lucky my legs don’t work because if they did, kicking would still be an option.” 

Jared sneered. “Half a spine and still more than this neurotic little beta will ever have.” He jerked a thumb at the terrified boy next to him.

“I’m proud of you, you’re evolving. You got through a whole two sentences without a racial slur. If you can get through the rest of the ride with no slurs of any kind, maybe your balls will finally drop and a girl will look at you without gagging.” 

“I got your balls and gagging right here.” “Yeah, but that’s why you’re strapped down, and by the time we land, if you stand up and try something, I’m sure I can get someone to get a proper ballgag in you before you’re halfway through it. Honestly, if you ask real nicely, I’ll pantomime the concept to Mia. All that talk about immigrants fucking our country, there has to be some kind of repression there. If I can find an English-Spanish dictionary and you stop being an asshole, maybe I’ll ask her if she’s down to peg you. She doesn’t even know you’re a douchebag, she doesn’t know what you’ve been saying.”

Jared scowled and finally shut up, realizing that he was losing, and Kimmy smirked, offering Micah a slight grin. Jared was right about one aspect, unfortunately, which was that Micah was neurotic in ways that could be difficult or annoying at times - and certainly weren’t helping him survive this shithole.  

*** 

When they finally landed, it didn’t take long before she was offloaded and put in her chair again - almost immediately drawing looks. One curious - followed by an almost immediately dark, almost terrifying look from a wiry boy with short curly hair. A good-looking black guy who introduced himself as Xavier was already squaring off with Jared - and she wanted, badly, to watch that but found herself pulled aside by two people. One was a girl with teak-dark hair and long skirts, and the other was a person whose every aspect screamed some variety of genderqueer - and who didn’t speak. Until Kimmy recognized that the gestures they were doing were a form of speech, at which point she managed to fumble her way through some of the ASL she remembered from the disability support group she’d been put in after her accident.

The deaf person reacted with obvious delight, signing faster than Kimmy could follow, and Kimmy said, “wait, wait, slow down, I’m not totally fluent.”

The other girl nodded. “Right, sorry. I’m Casey, this is Shiloh. You probably have a lot of questions. So. Welcome to Imperator and welcome to the Praetorians. We get experimented on, given superpowers, and forced to fight aliens. None of that is a joke.” Casey said with a grimace. “We managed to win this cookout as a reward for our first major victory.”

Kimmy felt a flutter of nervousness. “I…knew about the experiments. We’re getting changed to be super soldiers? Can…can they fix my spine? If they can’t…” 

Shiloh winced, then signed something. “What happened to it?”

Kimmy looked down. “I was a gymnast, heading towards regional championships when I was around twelve. I was doing the beam routine, but I…it was a dumb mistake. Twisted a bit. Hit my back on the dismount. Total fluke. Had the twisties, didn’t call it. Near-total paralysis below the waist. I’m lucky in that I had good doctors, and I can…still go to the bathroom without a lot of help, like it didn’t take a lot of work to give me that capacity.” 

“Won’t your parents ask where you went? I mean, you were a gymnast in regional championships, you disappearing is gonna…”

Kimmy winced. “Yeah. Uh. Thing is. They had hopes of me being an Olympian at some point. So, when I broke my back, they put in a lot of work to try to restore me, but when it didn’t work, things just kinda…got more distant. I mean, yeah, I got support groups, but I went from being the thing they were excited about to being a thing they had to deal with. Like at first I was all for the tests, since I wanted to get back on the beam as badly as anyone, I hated being bound to a chair and sorta still do, I want to be able to run and jump again, but after a point, I just wanted the constant testing to stop and the disappointed glares when nothing worked to stop. There’s a reason I wanted to make sure I could handle my own catheter. So then about three months ago, they heard about this new, experimental trial for nerve regeneration pioneered by a Dr. Winters at the Aventine Research Institute, and they signed me up…”

She suddenly went quiet as she noticed that Shiloh had gone absolutely still, their gaze very, very far away and breathing very slowly. Casey wasn’t touching Shiloh, very noticeably, but was quietly signaling someone for help.

“What’s…” Kimmy signed, slowly. 

Shiloh signaled and Casey replied. “They say I can tell you. Your parents signed you over to their mother. For the same reason that their parents experimented on them. It’s a little different, at a guess since you started off wanting to be fixed, and being paralyzed actually did take your sport from you whereas they didn’t really mind being deaf, but…that’s why.” 

Kimmy absorbed that. “What kind of hell is this place?” 

Casey was quiet, clearly thinking about something. 

Kimmy felt cold. “Can they fix my legs?” 

Shiloh didn’t move. Casey was quiet. “I’m not sure.”

“Then what do they want me for? And…what’s the process like?” 

Shiloh signed, slow enough for Kimmy to follow. “It’s terrible. It’s frightening, painful, humiliating. Powers are a crapshoot. Combat is better, mainly because you aren’t helpless. I’m sorry your parents sent you here.” 

Kimmy felt her blood run cold. “But can they fix my legs? So I won’t be helpless?” Underneath that, the real question: what are they going to do with me?

Shiloh

Kimmy’s reactions to their answers were the obvious ones, and Shiloh glanced at Casey, and realized neither of them could give the kid the answer she obviously wanted. Couldn’t answer the question she was really asking. Truth be known, Shiloh did know the answer. Had read the medical data out of Koleth’s process because it was really relevant to the body modifications they and their siblings were undergoing and how it impacted their metabolism. Impacted their healing. 

Shiloh looked to Casey to translate. Then began signing, very, very fast. “Short version: theoretically yes, but we don’t know for sure if they can. Yes, it’s possible, but power development seems to be random chance.”

Koleth, in short, had no idea what impacts anything would produce when someone was tested. Merely that all impacts behaved within certain parameters of anomalies, and that there were predictable parameters of mutability in the genome that made someone a Praetorian candidate. Yes, Kimmy’s spine COULD be regenerated by the process - but she could just as easily wind up with a powerset that would be near-totally useless in combat if attached to someone who could not move or could only move from inside a vehicle. Yes, Kimmy could wind up with a powerset that suited her perfectly to being in a support role away from frontline combat and thus made her disability unimportant, like Echo or Shiloh themself, but they could also very easily wind up like Casey or Jonathan or even Vergil, who despite being able to stay back to some degree still needed to be able to maneuver at which point she would be effectively useless to Imperator.

“We aren’t totally sure what we’ll have you do, but Mark? Her boyfriend? The skinny guy with the curly hair? Yeah, he’s the boss in combat, he’ll figure out something. Or you’ll get a power that’s more suited for spying and figuring out the enemy, then you’ll be taking your orders from Echo, the black girl who looks like a model.” Kimmy nodded as Casey translated, even as the other girl glared at Shiloh for calling Mark her boyfriend.

And Shiloh knew Franklin, Stricken, and Gideon too well to delude themself that they’d keep a useless asset, nor even gamble on the possibility of one. Meaning they already had an alternative use in mind if Kimmy developed a powerset that neither reversed her disability nor allowed her to deploy in a way that made it irrelevant.

“That said, if you’re really worried about it, there’s something I can try.” 

And Shiloh knew their own parents, and more chillingly, Koleth, well enough to know exactly what that alternative use would be.  Kimmy would develop the ability perform to the standards of the rest of the Praetorians, or Kimmy would be used as a test subject to determine the outer limits of the mutation process without any of the safeguards Koleth kept to avoid damaging ‘valuable assets’ - like the Praetorians who were definitely useful in combat. 

Casey snapped a look at Shiloh. Then spoke for herself. “You said it was an injury. They straightened it and braced the spinal column surgically, right?”

Kimmy nodded. “Yeah.”

Casey turned to Shiloh. “Are you even remotely sure this is possible?” 

Shiloh signed back rapidly, explaining to Casey what they hadn’t to Kimmy. Then finished, “worst case, I accidentally put her in shock when the nerves start reconnecting and the shock kills her. Which is still better than what happens if Koleth gets to play with her.” 

Casey nodded. “She should know.”

“I wasn’t gonna start without asking. And we should both eat a lot before I try. This is gonna be one of the hardest things I’ve ever attempted.” 

Casey turned back to Kimmy. “Shiloh is our medic. They can regenerate damaged tissue. They might, might, be able to fix your spine, but they say you both need to eat first. And…they said it might put you into shock and kill you if the nerves connect wrong, because it is going to hurt horribly when they first start. Other hand, you’re in real danger if we don’t and the powers you get don’t make you useful in combat - the people working on us are evil. It’s your decision. I, personally, would trust Shiloh more than I trust Koleth.”

Kimmy glanced between them, then took a breath. “Fuck it, I already do. Just because they asked and they’re used to people trying to fix without asking. Wait, question, do powers usually eat a bunch of calories?”

Shiloh paused. Casey answered. “Seems different for all of us.”

“Makes sense. Okay, so…food, then Shiloh tries to make me walk again.” Kimmy tried to wheel herself over, struggled on the shitty paving of Imperator’s walkways, then based on Casey’s reaction, let loose a truly impressive litany of profanity. Her wheel had gotten caught in a pothole that had been there as long as any of them remembered and was invisible in the bad lighting. She relented, signaling that yes, someone could help her. Casey began helping her wheel over to the meal tables and piled her plate high with a bit of everything, whereupon Kimmy began wolfing food down with reckless abandon. 

Casey

Casey flicked a signal at Shiloh. “I’m gonna go talk with Gideon and be right back. About kidnapping someone to be tested to death.”

Shiloh nodded. Then signaled, pausing. “Check with Echo to make sure we don’t need him alive.” 

Casey snorted. “I’m not gonna kill him. This time.” 

Gideon was talking with one of the pilots by the landing strip, and Casey took her time. She grabbed a marshmallow stick from the fire and heated it until it glowed, then jogged over, heating it and keeping it hot with her power. Something to add a little fear to the situation.

Then Gideon saw her and calmly hung up the phone. “Ms. Martin.”

“It can’t happen again.”

“Are you approaching me with a demand from all your team or just yourself?”

Casey didn’t answer - no point in letting this asshole think she had no backing or that Mark wasn’t in control of the team. “I’m not saying anything the others won’t. It can’t happen again. Imperator can’t scoop someone up for the purposes of testing them to death.”

“How do you know that was our intent?”

“You don’t keep people around you can’t use. If Kimmy couldn’t fight - and you have no way of knowing what powers she’ll develop - you’d have found another use for her. That’s the obvious one.” 

Gideon inclined his head. “Since the process could kill any of you, just that Koleth’s safeguards make it less likely when the asset is valuable - why is this so different? You all risk a bad reaction every time you climb in the tubes.”

“Risk is one thing. Guarantee is another. We’ll fight aliens, but our loyalty is to each other first - and we’re not going to watch another Praetorian tortured to death for Koleth to refine something.”

“You just met the newest one. Your bond isn’t that strong already. Even in such a sentimental group.” 

Casey shrugged. “Maybe not. But we’re in it with her, which we aren’t with you.” Then, with a gesture, the air around the glowing marshmallow stick blazed to life and she waved it like a wand, feeling the heat raise her hair in a wave, lighting the night around them with the force of her fury. “It won’t happen again Gideon. If it does, I’ll burn you alive one layer of skin at a time.” 

His normally inexpressive face went pale at that, and Casey hoped she’d made her point. She felt hollow and shaken on the walk back. The display of power had been so…minor, honestly. The threat was only meant to accompany it to scare him, something that she could imagine one of the villains from one of Mark or Xavier’s nerd movies saying - made credible by the fact that, at least on a physical level, she could actually do it.

When she’d actually said it she’d come to the horrible realization that not only could she do it, she actually would if Gideon ever again.abducted a kid for the sole reason to be tested to death.

She forced herself to walk back to the cookout, and saw Shiloh and Kimmy eating, signing slowly back and forth, even as Molly approached them and chatted with Kimmy, Vergil edging in. She heard Kimmy mention something about rhythmic gymnastics to Molly, and Molly smiling back.

Kimmy

The night was going well - existential terror notwithstanding. The new crowd seemed a lot better. Cute, shy, skinny boy who everyone told her was the team sniper but who seemed like a dork. The cute ginger with the rosary who kept stealing glances at a gorgeous girl who Kimmy could only assume by description was Echo. The girl who’d welcomed her in, the black boy who made Jared back down, the super hot giant dude, Shiloh, and the boy who everyone told her was in charge talking with Micah and actually getting the guy to relax. 

Overall things were looking up on arrival here. 

Then, Molly and Xavier took up a position in the middle of the place and began pumping music and Kimmy found herself clapping and laughing. Okay. If this was going to be my life now, experiments or not - especially if I got my legs back - this might actually be a step up from parents looking at me like a disappointment for getting hurt in a competition I’d been too nervous to back out of when I’d gotten a condition that made even the GOAT back down. 

Then, as the music was dying down, Shiloh handed her a rag, and Casey gripped her hand. As Shiloh put their hands on her spine, Kimmy saw Molly looking at her, curiously. 

Then Casey told her to bite down on the rag. Kimmy nervously put it in her mouth, biting down on the cloth and clenching.

Then her world flashed in pain unlike anything she’d ever experienced - it wasn’t like breaking her back. It was like having hot wires replace the nerves, having them all set ablaze. But she could feel fibers moving beneath her skin, like it itched on the inside. Kimmy screamed into the rag, and bit down. Kimmy was certain she had half-crushed Casey’s hand, and Shiloh stood up. She could hear Casey asking where Shiloh was going and Shiloh flashed an answer Kimmy couldn’t understand. 

Casey whispered in her ear. “Fixing this is taking a lot out of them, they’re grabbing coffee and more chow then they’re gonna come back.” Kimmy felt tears trickle down her cheeks, eyes blurry with the pain - it hurt so much. But it hurt. She could feel the pain.

Kimmy don’t know how long she waited, but Casey was with her, gently stroking her hair and whispering assurances. Then Shiloh was back and the pain flared up worse, but Kimmy could suddenly feel her toes again. The pain subsided, sort of. Though it was there and it was horrible, she could feel the lower half of my body again. 

Kimmy spat out the rag and tried to twitch her legs, which were slowly coming to life like a thousand little pinpricks. The girl shoved the rag back into her mouth to scream again. 

Then, as slowly as she could, she stood up, leaning a little on Casey and Shiloh, and smiled, throwing the rag aside, even as her back ached. Casey said something to her, about how nerve pain took time to heal, how Shiloh was warning her it would take time before the pain went away but that she was actually better.

Kimmy saw the redhead - Molly - looking between her and Shiloh, mouth agape. 

She was overwhelmed, in shock. She was walking. 

She turned, slowly, and looked at Shiloh. 

“Thank you,” Kimmy whispered, throat hoarse with pain and joy at the same time. 

Shiloh signed back. “I couldn’t let them use you up and throw you out.” 

“Even still.”

[squarebracketsmileyface]

Ignore this, I need to scream into a void about disability services being basically unusable lol

The state of disability services in the UK is fucking insane. Like, I know I live in a shitty little county in the middle of nowhere and you can't expect rural areas to be given the funding to make them properly liveable for disabled people, but Jesus Christ. it makes me want to tear my own flesh off. Like, what do you mean you're no longer picking me up at 11 like you said you would and now I have to wait until probably 3pm or later??? (Knowing hospital transport. It'll be later 💀) Fuck my energy levels and my ability to get literally anything else done I guess.

It's the way they keep changing the ETA too. Like, phone them at 11 right after my appointment like I'm meant to: yeah your transports ready for you right now, you've got like 10 minutes to wait.

w a i t i n g

Nothing fucking happens. Phone them at 12: we don't have anyone allocated to you, whoops! Phone us back in 20 mins and we'll try and get you someone

w a i t i n g

Phone them at 12:20: yeah, we don't have anyone still, you're looking at anywhere between 1 and 3 for collection sorry bye.

Like, I can't stand that long. Its hot. I'm stressed. My legs are trying to fall apart under me, my neck and back are also trying to fall apart and I have something important to do tomorrow that I have no idea if I'll have the energy or pain levels or the LITERAL ABILITY TO MOVE in order to get to. Because this is the exact thing that's likely to fuck up my brains signals and leave me with paralysed legs or hands or bladder (which is apparently a medical emergency. Learned that recently. If you can't pee, go to the ER or A&E immediately. It's like, really dangerous apparently?), or an episode where it looks like I'm having a stroke. And if I get a migraine or slip one of the bones in my neck or ribs or spine out of place from the tension I'll fucking kill someone. I will run them over with my fucking wheelchair, clean the gore out from my casters and wash it into a fucking sewer.

I can't even do anything useful with the time I'm waiting to get picked up, (1 because pain and exhaustion, and 2) because unless I'm standing exactly where they expect me to at exactly the time they expect me to, they'll just drive off and fucking leave me here, an hour from home in a city I really don't fucking know my way around. I know the outpatient facility and the Greggs down the street from it and that's it lol

Christ I'm so tired 💀.

Top tip folks. Don't be disabled in the UK, and definitely don't be disabled and dare to try and retain even a fraction of your ability to be independent. It won't fucking work. /Sarc

Anyway, if anyone needs me I'll be sulking with No Hope Street (NHS) by Eras End on loop at full volume lmao

[orgrimmar-archive]

azeroth races and their wheelchairs

probably gonna put this one under a cut, it'll be long.

Im going to start with the Alliance since they're on the left side of the screen in the character creator and most people tend to fall towards the left first. Also, I care a lot more about the Horde, so I'm just going to get it over with.

ALLIANCE:

Humans have the really shitty wagon-wheel wheelchairs (I.E, what we see Eraleshk in), because it shares a model with chairs found in Kul'tiras. Also, they're boring. Sorry.

Dwarves have iron-wrought chairs, I'd assume with 3-wheels ala D&D's combat wheelchair, probably with less spikes. I'd assume there'd be a gryphon/hammer motif depending on where it's from.

Kal'dorei chairs are likely similar to their buildings, warped trees grown in a specific pattern to make a sort of low bucket-seat with a raised angle for the legs. Stone/marble reinforcements for the axles and likely some sort of living aspect (maybe a treant willingly allowing itself to grow into the shape so it has little legs?)

Gnomes probably just have mechanical legs, I doubt they would 'limit' themselves to a chair shape. Lame in general.

Draenei likely have another 3-wheel situation, likely powered wheelchairs through the use of their mana/lightforged crystals.

Worgen/Gilneans.. Pompous bastards definitely have some kind of highly detailed embroidery that wears off after any actual activity.

Ren'dorei ... See Sin'dorei, but make it purple.

Lightforged Draenei have 4-wheeled, tanky combat wheelchairs with crystals powering them. I'd assume they'd want to keep as many Lightforged on the field as possible.

Dark Iron Dwarves use.. well, dark iron, obviously. I'd assume there's a drill on the front and those who use them typically end up as tunnelers and miners.

..I don't even want to look at a Mechagnome.

HORDE:

Orcs likely have very combat-centric wheelchairs as well, but for daily use I'd assume it would be simple wood/iron mix, likely with a pelt draped over the seat for extra comfort. I think many Orcs value customizing their chairs as well, with clan emblems and the like.

Forsaken likely just have shitty human chairs with some extra improvements. I'd assume most are salvaged from ruins in Lordaeron and future chairs are expanding on that simple sort of wagon-wheel design, likely incorporating metal wheels for more durability. Perhaps an on-the-go apothecary station as well?

Tauren who use wheelchairs likely are the last to know how to Plainsrun, in my opinion. I'd like to think they're taught how to move on all fours, with their chair supporting their hind legs. For those who would rather not do that, I'd think they'd have 8-wheeled chairs, automated by Kodo if they choose, like a little cart to themselves.

Troll wheelchairs are different depending on the tribe to me, so I'll focus on Darkspear, as they're the main playable ones when just default trolls are chosen. Darkspear chairs likely have a lot of orcish innovation, iron wheel treads and the like, with a totemic motif on the main seat, painted/carved. I'd assume they also have places to hang decorations off of, as a lot of trolls seem to really love just hanging shit up. (Me too though.)

Sin'dorei is the one I've been waiting to talk about. I would assume getting a wheelchair in Sin'dorei culture would be something quite respected, as in my perfect world nobody is ableist to chair users and I can pretend that's true in WoW. I'd think a lot of flowing, phoenix motifs, very obviously alluding to the royal family and to the concept of rebirth in general. Those who have lived through injury or simply have endured to the point that brought them to getting the chair are given a symbolic 'rebirth'. Many flowing, feather-like patterns, especially on the armrests and the wheel-wells. The back of the seat would likely be influenced by the Sin'dorei phoenix crest in some way, and I wouldn't doubt that gem inlays or metal detailing is common. I'd assume the wheels would have a wooden axle with filligree metal on the actual treads. The younger the elf is, the more grand the party is, a celebration of your new beginning and a way to allow yourself to let go of the past.

Goblin wheelchairs are likely a more minature version of their trikes, and probably will explode if exposed to even the smallest of errors. I would not really trust one in the same way I wouldn't really trust a gnome to make a wheelchair for me. They probably have a built in glider in case of a surprise ejection, though.

Shal'dorei wheelchairs are likely similar to Kal'dorei wheelchairs, with a more heavy focus on the stonework aspect. I would assume the chair itself would be wood, reinforced with stone and powered by arcane magic, with elegant cloth detailing and perhaps even drapery. I wouldn't doubt that they lack wheels entirely, and would likely be more like palanquin with magical hoisters.

Highmountain wheelchairs follow their eagle and moose motifs, I'd think. There would be two styles, eagle being more akin to an active/sports wheelchair and moose being more like a regular manual wheelchair. I'd think the eagle wheelchairs would have four wheels while moose have three, and would have a much slimmer profile. That being said, it is likely traditional to paint the seat and wheels yourself when you receive it.

Mag'har orcs likely follow similar traditions to vague-orgrimmar orcs, with more iron. I'd assume their wheels also are just treads, so they're more 'all-terrain'. Depending on the clan, there are different decorations. (For instance, if you were Lightning's Blade, they probably put a lightning rod on you for fun.)

Zandalar does not believe you should push your own chair, so you get a beautiful carriage with raptor attendants, unless you are in favor with Jani, and then you get a legion of saurolisks and a little wagon.

Vulpera probably just use alpacas, but in the event they can't, they likely have small, very portable chairs with metal frames and soft, comfy seats, with ample room for their tail.

NEUTRAL RACES:

Pandaren wheelchairs are likely a mix of wood and metal. I'd assume the frame would be wood, with the axles being metal, and the seats having wood frames with cushions bolted into it. The cushions would likely feature embroidery, and I would even go out to say that you could have it blessed by a certain celestial and it would affect the appearance.

Dracthyr wheelchairs are likely combat focused. I would say that they feature metal primarily, with armor plating and little to no backrest in order to have full range of motion with the wings. If the wings do not work, the backrest would still be low, so as not to smush them. I'd think that there would be seatbelts so the dracthyr could still fly while they are inside of it, and I'm sure they have special chairs /for/ the event that you will be flying often.

[dandyshucks]

okay okay here we go - very messy off-the-cuff oc intro under the cut with some design sketches + doodles (IT'S KIND OF LONG):

random other doodle (another system member's self portrait i think? idk djfkdl) for the last pic there sorry fhdksl it was just a handy photo i had on hand that had almost the same dimensions for tumblrs cropping shenanigans (also that one emoji is there in the first pic bc i couldn't get that eye to cooperate fjkdkl)

anyhowdy uhhmm heres Theodor and Philby... Theodor uses he/she and Philby uses they/it and I'm literally just now realizing that they cover the main four bases wtf ... that was not intentional but it is funky and fun !! Theodor has a few nicknames like Teddy, Dory, Theo, etc, while Philby is is just Philby (their full name is Philbert but only their parents call them that LOL)

Theodor has a port wine stain birthmark on his left cheek ! and Philby potentially has rosacea but I'm still looking into that to make sure I'm not pulling any shitty moves if I'm going to have that be a part of their character. they (Philby) use mobility aids occasionally, generally just a cane, sometimes crutches, but they also have a wheelchair on hand for more difficult days.

Teddy is an interesting mix of very patient and loving while also sometimes cocky and impulsive, so he sometimes say things that are unintentionally hurtful or offensive (but is learning to apologize swiftly to help mend his mistakes). to people who don't know him well, he might come across as arrogant occasionally. he enjoys designing clothing items that Philby will often sew up for him, as well as experimenting with different coloured art mediums (pastels, paint, chalk, etc) and makeup (he is absolutely a skincare girlie fjfkdl). he comes from a family that's well-off (definitely upper class but not necessarily wealthy) so he's used to having money to throw around and doesn't quite fully grasp what it's like to be poor or working (or even middle) class, so there's some butting of heads there.

Philby comes from a working class family, not poor but definitely lower class lol. they have a fair amount of pride and can be kind of prickly, but they're extremely thoughtful and can be very kind and patient when they want to be. they're very practical and well-organized, and is integral to keeping things running smoothly in the household. they're very skilled with sewing and they also happen to be a good cartoonist! it takes a bit for them to warm up to new people, but they're usually just neutral and maybe a bit blunt with people they don't know well. if they dislike a person, they tend to have an attitude of "i don't want to waste any of my time on this person" and avoids the person rather than taking the time and energy to decide if they want to be pointedly rude or remain polite.

both of them are really good with kids in their own way! Philby likes being fun and clownish while Teddy prefers to be more of a comforting ... well... teddy bear sort of presence LOL. both of them are super patient w kids though, and they love to spend time helping out with kids when someone needs a babysitter! (why yes this is almost entirely just an excuse for me to think abt how they'd be so good with the kiddos in our system LMAO) if they ever ran a daycare or preschool together they'd be absolutely phenomenal at it, especially since they make up for what the other lacks in their approaches to interacting with children.

Theo prefers kitschy grandma-type aesthetics in both clothing and decor, while Philby enjoys a lot of bright colours and fun patterns that would fit more into "c.lowncore" and "k.idcore" aesthetics (with some occasional punk influences). Theo enjoys a lot of clothing that is maybe considered more feminine, while Philby just wears whatever is comfortable and brightly coloured, occasionally with some blacks to make the colours pop more!

they have a really interesting contrasting dynamic, Theo being a "gentle giant" while also being somewhat impulsive and more prone to hurting people accidentally with his words, and Philby being smaller in stature and more prickly but also much more thoughtful and careful with their words and actions.

also bonus funny thing: Theodor had a trad g.oth phase as a teen in highschool that lasted a couple years hehe

[alfiely-art]

Act 5 act 1 is done ! Thank goodness. This took me a couple days so some notes may be outdated (ie: karkat birthday)

Also I finished this last night but. Yk.

Act 1 reaction here

Act 2 reaction here

Act 3 reaction here

Intermission reaction here

Act four reaction here

Notes:

NOOOOO JADE'S DREAM SELF IS DEAD FUCKKKK 

Did Jake write this

Hrrrrngggg this is so. Jade just wanted to hang out with him :( 

Man give the kid some time to cry his friend's dream self is dead!!!

I. Okay. Grieve how you need to grandpa. That makes me so uncomfortable but it's okay 

Oh Morse code. I'm not whipping out the decoder sorry I'm distraught over Jade. I'll download the Pic and translate later 

Hussie idgaf about your recap. What the fuck is happening I thought this was act 5 a few pages ago. Are we NOW At act 5???

Is this trollian

Yaaaaay alternia I've heard of this one. Looks kinda dead though

Yaaaay Karkat birthday. Apparently his bday was yesterday irl!!!!

Emooooo lmaooooo

Troll Sander. Oh Karkat. You and John can and should be besties forever. Kiss now /j

BAHAHAA IVE SEEN THIS PANEL BEFORE. I REFERENCED IT WHEN I DROPPED MY MATH BOOK AND IT MADE A DENT IN THE FLOOR. “I'm karkat-ing it up” I SAID. NO ONE UNDERSTOOD ME

“You were meant to be a bigshot” HAHA SPAMPTOB!!!! Nows ur chance to be a big shot, be a big, be a big, be a big shot 

Omg is this gamzee. Or some other purple guy 

Faygo mention!

AHA YES it's gamzee!!! I know because :o)

Oh gamzee <3 Silly guy. Sure hope he doesn't do anything horrible and violent later (i know a bit of what he does. lord english <333)

The juggalos….

NEPETA AND EQUIUS USERNAMES SPOTTED!!! oh yeah karkats doing stuff. That is what I am supposed to be focusing on

Karkat you're such a drama queen oh my godddd

Terezi you're so cute 

Wait I wanna know the password thing…

CAN WE PLEASE GET TEREZI INTO ACE ATTORNEY. THIS IS SO CUTE I LOVE HER 

That's less cute actually why are you hanging your stuffies. Oh well. Girls can have hobbies I don't mind

YAY NEPETA YAY NEPETA YAY NEPETA

Adorabloodthirsty!!!

Oooo this is Aradia right

That's Eridan methinks

No strife….

This is kinda moving fast ? I mean I don't mind but also I liked the slowness of the previous acts. Oh well. Maybe it's cuz we gotta introduce more characters rn

Sollux!!! I have been told he is not an Eridan lover. Oopsie. The fandom lied to me

HI NEPETA

Aradia what are you doing 

Hey. Is this code how Lord English us born. Isn't it

Oh hi girl! I don't know your name but I've seen you!!! 

Hi tavros! I didn't know you were in a wheelchair. Why do I never see art of you in a wheelchair. All your art is of you smooching gamzee.

HAH REFERENCE… alien reference…

Equius is just Standing There.

ALSO I DONT THINK THATS THE PROPER PROCEDURE TO GIVE SOMEONE PROSTHETIC LEGS

Is that Vriska

Aww… shitty rap offs <333

Ohh yess your name is Aradia!

BAHAH OUIJA BOARD 

Vriska it's you ! I will finally know who you are other than Nagito's daughter. Yippee hurray

Woah baby boy calm down what's in that honey that's making you blast lasers out of your eyeballs

HI SILLY CAT GIRL

OH MY GODDD. The cave in… : (

Autistic girls in caves ftw!!!!

Meowrails… nepeta bite him now 

Team scourge?!?!?! Like warrior cats?@?!?@?@ i never read warrior cats I just know scourge 

Slur count: 13

Vriska what the fuck are you doing

OH MY GOD VRISKA WHY DID YOU DO THAT

Karkat bite her. Vriska that is unhealthy for you to do you cannot control others 

HI EQUIUS what uh. What's that stuff in your horse paintings. Equius. Boy. Theyre public everyone can see them

Oh the girl!! Fish girl!!!! uhh.. f… Ferrari. No wait Guy Ferrari is in this. F something

Me too Nepeta. Me too. Idk what's happening I'm just here for jokes and references and Hal when he shows up

DUN DUN DUN!!!! 

Ribbit

Be the huge bitch

Bitch autocorrected to bitcoin. Phone you will perish in a day

Oh. You gotta feed your parent other kids… not great 

Slur count: 14

Holy shit dude I can't read this

Anyway EQUIUS TIME!!!

Lusus Milk. Ummm. Did he milk himself 

Equius never play video games you'd get so much gamer rage

Yaaaay Equius and Gamzee are chatting!!!

Gamzee why are you so cute. I know you do silly things later!!!!

Awww is he talking about Aradia. Buddy just forget the troll racism 

HAH. Yeah that's fair Equius I'd slap someone who was trying to read my mind. Although can he just. Do that any time?

Yaaaay Aradia bot!!!

Equius kill yourself now /j you're so fucking weird. Can your lusus curb your weirdness a little 

JELP EQUIUS YOU KILLED HER LUSUS

NOOOO AURTHOUR!!!!!!

Okay I kinda like the drama Terezi and Vriska are having. they're both kinda bitchy and conniving but Terezi seems to have good intentions. And vriska. Uh. Spooder

Aradia nooo don't listen to the voices trust me

Waaaait wait wait. Is this white guy Doc Scratch. I know Hal hasn't even shown up yet but is this Doc Scratch. Is he doing time shenanigans. Please let this be doc scratch I need lord english stuff 

Vriska. Vriska what did you do to sollux. Also aw him and aradia are dating??? Sweet

FUCK YEAH I WAS RIGHT!!!! DOC SCRATCH!!!! I LOVE YOU MR SCRATCH

Mr Vanilla Milkshake

Isn't that Jade's cue ball. I knew it was related to doc scratch

“I will explode in your face’

I fucking love Doc Scratch. Yeah Vriska I don't care that your spider mom died I'm busy being a Homosexual 

BAHAHAH EQUIUS. You're such a fucking nut. I mean a fiddlesticks nut. No that doesn't hit the same way

This a hilarious dynamic actually. I love you Aradia

EQUIUS IS DOING THE MEME POSE

But anyway. Fuck yeah Aradia. Equius you freak. Aradia bite him

This makes me realize a pair of my homestuck ocs are like this but yk. Toxic and codependent. There's like four people who know they exist 

Huh

Nepeta cucked… jk I know moirails and the heart thing are different. Silly though. “This my boyfriend equius. And this is equius's girlfriend aradia. And this is aradia's boyfriend sollux.”

SHIPPING WALL WOOOOO

Yesss karkat. “you will never find love or hate” YOU TELL HER!!!! 

Also ooo jack

Yaaaay red blood. Actually I forget what red blood means its low isn't it 

OHHH wait he's got mutant blood. Dangggg

Jack is metal af. What a way to earn a kids trust

Cahoots!!!!

WOOO DOC SCRATCH!!! GIVE JER NEW PURPOSE YAAAAA

Man I sure wish I could have learned all of this in a natural way instead of jusy being told in a couple panels. Haha. Sure would be a fun experience methinks !!

Yaaaay kanaya

Glub glub glub

Slur count: 15

THATS NOT THE PROPER SURGERY PROCEDURE

Troll blood tastes bad. Got it

Yo wait she's moirails with Vriska??? Girl get outta there. Actually wait I love toxic yuri please continue 

Holy shit I didn't think eridan would be so boring to listen to. Snoreeeeee. Eridan do something funny pls poke poke

Funny that Karkat was wrong about Vriska getting bitches though. Why do you guys want her

Where did that last line come from. Eridan you emo. Real though

ROSE'S GAMEFAQ!!!!!! 

Ong troll rose lalonde… kanaya imagines her as a highblood it seems that's cute 

VRISKA YOU CANT SAY THAT actually you technically Can but VRISKA DONT BULLY TAVROS!!!!! 

Vriska girl please go to therapy. Tavros kill her

Scurry!!!!

Someone needs to have Vriska read the You're Not A Real Gamer post

Stabby hatefriend <33

Alright we are doing Peter pan now

Tavros just kill her already. She's scary 

WOAH VRISKA YOU CANT JUSG KISS HIM!!!! 

TAVROSSSSS NOOO DONT FALL FOR HER!!!!

It's kinda funny she hates his guts and he likes her. Can they please get a room

KANAYA GOT CUCKED :(

Poor Kanaya actually… she has horrible taste in women but I feel bad for her

Rose's mom and John's dad are matesprites… man this incest pile is getting crazyyyyy

Oh they are in love!!!!! Hate love!!!!

I love incest!!! the pail Has come 

The rammies… sorry I can't hear ramifications without thinking of the rammies…

Aradia and Equius's little gif matched the beat of the music I'm listening to

FAYGO also I think I completely forgot that Eridan isn't fuschia. Oopsies. Thought he was 

HI JOHN!!! I wish I was reading about your adventures currently 

Okay what's up with Eridan and the fishy girl. This is the second time we've cut to them during this explanation

Hi Eridan. WHAT DONT KILL THE WHALE

Okay hi fish

Ohhh Feferi… that's your name… okay

I don't think that was adorable but okay

Poor orphaned troll : (

Genocide complex… okay sure buddy why don't you get back to larping Harry potter. I'm canceling you babygirl

Aw :> I kinda like Feferi it's sweet she wants to change things for the better

COWBOY X WIZARD FUCK YEAH

Feferi really does have a lameass bi boyfriend

I'm just gonna call them all boyfriend and girlfriend btw. The quadrants don't sound yummy to me. Except pitch. I like that word. Sounds like bitch 

Do u not fw faygo

Just like Dave's fridge…

Can we peleeeease get back to good stuff I'm so sorry I.dont care about these guys. Maybe I will later but I wanna know what's going on with John and the other kids. Maybe focus on Karkat. Maybe on WV and the gang. I don't. Want to see them have a will-they-wont-they… 

Okay real talk. This act has been. Kinda a drag despite them going SO fast with plotpoints. People say that acts 1-3 were slow but I was so entertained by them!!! Is this a lame take. If they just slowed the fuck down I would like this a lot more. Hussie let me enjoy your fucking comic I don't want to speed through it 

Anyway. That aside.

she's in a fish bowl that's not good for her :(

HELP WAIT I TAKE BACK WHAT I SAID ABOUT NOT CARING ABOUT FEFERI AND ERIDAN. OH MY GOODNESS. SHES BREAKING UP WITH HIM KINDA THATS SO

FEFERI KEEPS DOING FISH PUNS WHILE BREAKING UP WITH ERIDAN OH MY

I love Feferi I think. My opinion has changed. Get Fucked Eridan

WHAT HAPPENED TO SOLLUX also why are Gamzee and Jack just. Standing There. Menacingly

SOLLUX NO EHAT COME BACK

I LIKED SOLLUX NOOOOOOOOO GAMZEE STOP HONKING

Feferi kissing Sollux's corpse would be so fucking weird if I didn't know what happens when you do that in homestuck

Sollux back <33 

Oh I forgot uh. That guy is watching. Legit can't remember his name ! Guy without an arm is watching !

THE NEVER ENDING STORY REFERENCE 

Oh hi audience insert !

Hussie. I don't care actually

I think you should be going SLOWER 

DONT THROW CAL also. I don't care!!!! 

:/ :/ :/ this makes me want to *remembers I'm not supposed to make jokes about killing myself*... cull myself 

Thank God we're back

Oh cool! Sollux gets two dream selves!!!

DEUCE?!?!?!?!?!

Terezi is so cute btw. I adore her

FUCK YEAH GO NEPETA

Theyre so cuteeeee I love meowrails

Slur count: 16

VRISKA'S FUTURE USERNAME SAYS FAG BAHAHAHAHA

I'm not including these in my Slur count these are funny

Okay hold on I thought these guys were dead… whag

Whoaj What are you up to Snowman… 

What the fuck

OHHH KICKAAS WINGS TEREZI. What the fuck was happening with the last panel though

Karkat stop calling things schizophrenic honey. I'm grounding you

I love Terezi and Karkat. My babies

Again??? I don't know the Password but I wanna look at what it is…

Is this troll sweet bro and Hella Jeff

I don't understand what really happened in that animation but YEAHHH FUCK HER UP ARADIA FUCK YEAHHHHH

Alpha timeline mention!!! I'm assuming that has to do with the alpha kids

A scratch… LIKE DOC SCRATCH!!!!!

Oh thank God that act is over. Kinda. Friend told me act 5 act 2 has more of the stuff I like. Act 5 act 1 gave me such a fucking headache I did not enjoy it very much!!!

The ending had that same sorta flair as usual homestuck but. The rest. It was like reading bullet points. Like you're doing now except I'm not telling a story I'm telling you my reactions to the story

Idk. Yeah. Not A fan Of act 5 act 1. Here's to hoping act 5 act 2 is better !!!

[flowercrowncrip]

Hi Echo, I hope you don't mind this question, but I made the switch from a manual chair to a powerchair recently and I've been really struggling with my confidence especially because people treat me so much differently. Do you have any tips for how to gain confidence as a powerchair user?

Hi, I don't mind this question at all :-)

I also really noticed how differently people treated me when I started using an electric wheelchair and it was pretty horrid, I'm sorry you're experiencing that too. People can be rubbish. It's something I've had to get used to, which sucks

I think what helped me the most was enjoying the time I got to spend out the house and away from people. While there's a lot of places my manual chair could go that my power chair can't, getting my power chair meant that I could spend a lot longer out of the house, and had more autonomy than being pushed in a manual chair. I'm lucky to live somewhere quite rural, and even the city I lived in was more like a big town, so finding quiet footpaths and roads wasn't too hard.

On the flipside, if you're getting too isolated, spending time with people who actually see you as you are instead of just stopping at the wheelchair is important. For me at the moment that's my disabled friends and my work colleagues.

The other big thing I think for me was to make my chair more "mine". Things like adding stickers, a fun joystick, and patterned tape made me feel more comfortable in myself, and (while I might be projecting) I think it makes other people more comfortable with my chair as well – or at least acts as a reminder that I'm a real person with an actual personality. Another thing I did one point when I studied using a manual chair was to dye my hair bright green just to give me another focal point.

The only other thing I can think of is to find other wheelchair users if possible. Whether that's through disability sport or support group, online or even just seeing other people live their lives in social media, TV or podcasts. I remember watching A Lot of Silent Witness because the character Clarissa (played by Liz Carr) takes no shit and is incredibly empowering to watch.

I really hope your new chair is helpful and that people stop being shitty

[cringefail-loser]

The Art of Screwing Up, by Mike Wheeler

SUMMARY: Mike Wheeler, (an absolute idiot), stupidly decides to procrastinate asking Will to senior prom, before it's too late. Watching his childhood crush dance with a girl is absolutely heart wrenching for him, but there's nothing he can do about it now... right? NOTES: Hey !! This my second ever byler fic, so soz if it kinda sucks. I'm in a really shitty mood because I said something horrible to my (ex) boyfriend and now he hates me, so I figured that writing fan fiction about it would get my mind off of things. Hope you enjoy !! Also, the song that plays at the end is "Dancing With Myself" by Billy Idol :)

warnings: mild language

words: 1.7k

also read it on AO3

I screwed up. It was as simple as that. I didn't ask Will to the dance in time, and now he's dancing with some random girl I don't even know. He looks like he's having the time of his life, and I'm standing over here in the corner of the room, shuffling my feet awkwardly while Dustin, Lucas, Max, and El are all laughing and drinking fruit punch. I'm such a loser. "But there's always next year, Mike!" You might be thinking to yourself. No. No no no no. This is senior prom, which means that it's the last dance of my life. At least, probably. Unless I become, like, super famous, and get invited to a bunch of super fancy parties or whatever, there is no other dance I can ask Will to. This is it.

I figured that, as much as it seemed like my only option in the moment, moping around wasn't the best plan of action, and maybe I should just, y'know, go talk to my friends like a normal person who doesn't have a prom date would do. 

I awkwardly make my way over to the snack table, and nonchalantly grab one of the mini bottles of water out of the plastic material that they're kept in. You know what I'm talking about. (If you don't, that's super embarrassing for me, and I'm sorry.) I tried my best to make my presence known to the rest of the party, but Max is the only one who does, and all she does is give me a little wave. Even Lucas, the friendliest member of our little group, doesn't even look my direction. My logical mind is saying that they're just too distracted with whatever they're talking about or doing to notice, but my emotional mind is saying that they're purposefully ignoring me because I did something to piss them off. The more I think about it, the more likely it seems. I guess I did make that one slightly mean joke to El about how she needs a haircut, when I know full well that she's very sensitive about her hair. Whatever it was, they were clearly pissed with me. 

Except for Dustin, apparently. 

He's chatting with Lucas about our most recent campaign (the one where I was clearly flirting with Will, but he didn't seem to take notice), when he spots me. He waves me over to where the pair is standing together. I awkwardly make my way over to them.

"Mike! Hey, man! I feel like we haven't seen you in forever," Lucas smiles. He gently pats me on the back. I don't know how to reply, so I just smile. "How have you been?" He asks, but I'm too distracted at the sight of Will, laughing and smiling as he dances and twirls with the brunette. Dustin takes notice and elbows my arm. 

"Are you really checking out Will at senior prom, instead of asking him to dance?"

"Look at him! He's having the time of his life with some random girl," I groan. "And why would he want to dance with me anyways?" 

"Because... you're super awesome and cool? And he clearly loves you?" Lucas suggests. I'm not sure about the second part, but the first part is totally accurate. 

"Thanks, man." I smile weakly. 

"So, are you going to ask him to dance, or what?" I hear Max from behind me. She's managed to roll her way over to us without me noticing. It's been a while since we've hung out. Ever since she's been using a wheelchair to get around, her mom never lets her leave the house. I mean, that's a bit of an exaggeration, but you get the idea. Although, she did get her hair cut short, and I will admit, it looks pretty rad on her. 

"I-I mean-" 

"Just go do it, Mike." She rolls her eyes and crosses her arms "I'll help you, even." My eyes go wide.

"Really?" I ask. There is just no way that Max Freaking Mayfield is willing to help me. She basically hated my guts when we first met a few years ago. And for good reason. 

"Yes really, dumbass," She rolls her eyes once again. "c'mon, let's go!" She pulls on my arm with her one free hand, and drags me across the room, making her way through the crowd. I'm closer to Will than I have been in like a week.

"Ok." She speaks. "When I say to, you're going to go up to Will, and say 'Hey, do you want to dance?', got it?" I nod in response. I look over to Will again. He's sitting on the wooden bleachers, smiling and nodding to everything the girl he was dancing with says. A lump in my throat forms. Sure, most people at this point know that I like men (and women, but that's not really important right now), but still, asking another boy to dance in front of someone I don't know? What if she like, yells at me or something? You really never know with people. 

My heart is beating faster, palms covered in sweat, like I dipped my hand in a bucket of grease. I can feel myself heating up, the feeling boiling in my chest and sending a tingling sensation throughout my body. It's uncomfortable, but it only gets worse.

"Mike? Mike!" I hear Max yell. I look over to her, she has a concerned look twisted on her face. "Are you ok?" she mouths. My quickened breathing slows down to a light pant. "Dude, you like, totally zoned out there. It was weird. Is everything ok?" She asks. I nod like an idiot. "then get yourself out there, and ask Will to dance!" It's obvious at this point that she's tired of my shit, and honestly? Me too. I'm tired of my own bullshit. I've spent the past five months pining over Will, and doing literally nothing about it, basically clinging to him like a wet kitten, and always talking about him. But apparently, I don't even have the courage to ask him to dance? What's wrong with me? I'm going to take a deep breath, puff out my chest, go up there and ask Will to-

"Hey, Mike!" Apparently, Will had made his way up to me without me even noticing. Maybe I fell in love with a ghost instead of a real human boy. 

"o-oh! Hey, Will! Wh-what's up?" Why am I stuttering? I've talked to him like a bajillion times.

"Oh, not much, just, y'know, waiting for you to ask me to dance?" He grins. Wait. Did I hear him correctly? He wants me to ask him to dance? He's waiting for me to ask him to dance? Am I going insane?

Will notices my pause, and how I nearly choke on the air trapped in my lungs. "I-i mean, only if you want to? We don't have to dance. Sorry if that was weird."

"No!" I yell, maybe a bit too loudly, as a few people turn their heads my way. "I do want to. I do want to dance with you." His slight frown turns into the biggest smile I've ever seen on a person, and I swear to God, his eyes were glistening a bit. I turn to Max. She's motioning wildly to the dance floor.

"Go, you idiots!" She yells, playfully shoving us to the center of the room. Will looks at me. He places his arms on my waist.

"Wait." I furrow my eyebrows.

"Yeah? What's up?" He asks. 

'I've never danced with anyone before." I hate to admit it, but it's true.

"Honestly, I haven't either. At least- I've never slow danced with anyone. But I'm sure we'll figure it out." He grabs my hands and puts them on his shoulders, then he wraps his hands around my waist. He steps one foot backward. I'm not sure what to do, so I just stand there. He tugs on my arm a little bit, causing my to nearly topped forward on top of him. "Mike. you're supposed to dance with me, not just stand there." he laughs. But I'm nervous. There are dozens of couples surrounding us, and none of them are two boys or two girls. Or two of whatever. To make matters worse, a few of them are staring at us like we've just formed into one being with two heads. I can feel myself starting to panic again. 

"Mike, come on and dance with me! Everything's going to be fine." My head immediately snaps towards Will's directions once the words leave his mouth. "Just dance with me!" He smiles. I nod. "All you really need to do is shuffle your feet a little bit." I do as I'm told, and move my feet like I need to piss, but in slow motion. I can see Will is trying to stifle his laughter. I'm a little bit embarrassed at first, but once I watch him move around, I get into the flow too.

Right as I finally feel like I've got it down, the music is changing and all of a sudden everyone is jumping up and down and dancing at a fast pace. I feel disoriented and like all of a sudden, I'm all the way across the world at a different party. The whiplash doesn't seem to affect Will, though, as he's grabbing me by the hands and yelling at me to dance with him while he moves his body around, not exactly to the beat, but also not exactly to a different beat either. He's just moving around and having fun.

On the floors of Tokyo, or down in London town to go-go 

The crowd is singing along, and Will is screaming with them. You only live once, so why not join in?

When there's no one else in sight, in the crowded lonely night

Now we were having the time of our lives together. I had successfully danced with Will at senior prom. I didn't throw up, I stand in the corner all night, and most importantly, I didn't chicken out like I thought I would.

Maybe there were some things I could do right in life.

[horrorsequel]

My dad got an email today from an ice cream place that we visited yesterday where we did not even have the option to give them our email and I had to like talk to my parents abt how their data gets collected and sold and stuff and my mom was like “no wait how would they even do that” and I had to outline like 4 possible situations for her and she was like “you need to turn that off” to my dad. And like yeah sometimes you can opt out but sometimes it’s just in the eula or tos and just using the fucking thing at all is how they get u and my mom was like “no, you can always turn it off” okay pretend we don’t live in hell. Keep your eyes shut.

My oarents are so funny tho like my dad keeps getting pissed off abt strikes but my mom is pro-strike and like they’re both conservative/republican blah blah but like very often u can tell my mom grew up dirt poor and my dad was middle class his whole life like it’s crazy. Like my mom is still pretty capitalism-poisoned but she’s a lot more sympathetic . And like my dad is in disability but he only like realizes how shitty the gvmnt is abt assistance when it’s happening to him. SOMETIMES when it’s happening to me but not a lot. And like my mom is still weirdly unsympathetic to MY situation and like “you should be glad you’re getting money at all!” And like ofc she sees it that way cos if I didn’t, she would be paying for all my shit.

My parents are crazy miserly and they’re like WELL ITS FOR UR FUTURE and I’m like. You can’t spare any of it NOW to make sure I GET TO SEE THAT FUTURE? like I’m a very I’ll person and my mom is planning on living well into her 90s and she can’t fathom me dying before her but I really really can and it’s like what r u gonna do if I don’t even get that money u made us all miserable over by keeping so much of it in a locked room. Like I’m so. God okay I know if my parents die I will need that money really bad but also like god fucking damnit my mom is always talking abt how she makes a lot of money but we still live like we r poor and like I personally am poor but like my parents won’t even pay to have all the broken shit in my room fixed (windows/ceiling fan) and shit like that man idk sorry this all sounds petty and stupid when I say it out but it’s facing me up all the time. Like they wouldn’t help me get a wheelchair when I couldn’t walk and we didn’t know if I ever would be able to again and I can sometimes now but life would still be easier if I had a wheelchair but even the cheapest one that has everything I need is more money than I get in a whole month god fuck augh sorry

[aspelbees]

*banging table over and over* I JUST FINISHED THE FIC AND I NEED TO SEE RAN AND TUBS PLS

!!!! Warning for Tubbo : graphic scars !!!!!

Also spoilers for my fic!!

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So some extra lore stuff too!!!

Ranboo and Tubbo have severe memory loss and ongoing memory issues! Boo has forearm crutches as his legs are weak from the years he spent infected! His right hand is weak, but his arms are strong enough for the crutches!

Ranboo is more prone to hallucinations because of the damage done to his brain(Ref here!)

Tubbo has a much harder time physically. His left arm is almost unusable at the moment because of the nerve damage from the nite and also the years spent infected. So most of the time he needs assistance getting around.

He's trying to get some strength back into his arms so he can try crutches or at the very least be able to wheel himself around. He still has what's left of Tommy's bandana and he made it into a bracelet

Right now, they have a cushion in the shitty hospital wheelchair while they're trying to find him a better one. It sucks, but it's better than nothing right now.

Also he has bad burn scars on the right side of his face and has only a vague blurry memory of how it happened. Both Tubbo and Ranboo are traumatized by the years they were infected and both have had shifts in their personalities because of this(I just drew him over the image of a wheelchair, so no specific ref for him sorry :( )

[selamat-linting]

continuing my last liveblog, this time focused on the characters.

-vriska is. amazing. she is THE CHARACTER EVER. i enjoy her a lot but when it comes to morality, she's... i dont know what to make of her. like, from all the fandom drama i heard secondhand, she was made to be this mass murderer. like yeah, she is responsible to a lot of fuckups in plot, she is ableist to tavros and used aradia's boyfriend sollux to kill her, and sabotaged jade's attempt to get into the game but i think at her core, she's just a 13 year old bully. if she was in a normal human environment, raised by an ordinary family, at worst, she'd be the kind of girls who spread mean rumors of the outcast kids at school. still bad but, garden variety shittiness that can be fixed with age and growth. its the condition she's in that drove her into such terribleness. alternia let kids kill and maim each other, eliminate people who defy the law and customs. its a tyrannical empire and of course the kids produced in that kind of environment are vicious to each other. its not wrong the other kids dont want nothing to do with her and seeing her gets her shit kicked by aradia was cathartic but. man, i still feel very sympathetic to her.

-also, if im not wrong, her romantic relationships now would be :

nicholas cage - one sided matesprit(?)

kanaya maryam - moirail / auspistice (?)

tavros - the most unhealthy kismesis i have ever seen

-also, poor tavros. im waiting for the scene where he gets to kick the shit out of vriska like aradia but alas. its nice that he and vriska seems to get on better terms later on. i have to admit, vriska taking the time to dress up and set the mood to kiss tavros is kind of endearing while also being yikes what the fucking fuck my guy. but anyway, tavros being disabled as only a fodder for stair jokes, and then getting his legs forcibly replaced when the wheelchair jokes gets old, and then making him the butt of the joke again, good god. i want tavros's narrative arc to be treated more seriously. andrew hussie you are an ableist piece of shit you know that right?

-and kanaya! its so interesting how space aspects players are all very aesthetic-minded. they always have the cool pretty stuff. also she had a crush on rose isnt she? the way she admired her gamefaqs playthrough guide reminds of that tumblr fairytale where cinderella reads aurora's diary and fell in love. haha! right after i have that suspicions, i check tumblr to see if theyre a popular ship and apparently theyre also canon? cool. its so nice to be proven right. theyre both unhinged weird girls but in a very subdued way. also, i think karkat have been underestimating how much she helped on cooling down the group's animosities. not just between tavros and vriska, but eridan and feferi too, to an extent.

-speaking of feferi, ugh, i feel so bad for her. i cant believe someone as positive as her could be corrupted by the horrorterrors. one moment, she's the only one preventing a trollnazi and a doomsday lusus from destroying the shit out of everything, and suddenly shes twisting squibbles into cthulhu. "dont you get it, im dead," baller fucking quote but im so sorry girl. she has always been someone who is resigned of the fate of everything, but she never stops trying to make the best of it, unlike aradia.

-Also, why is equius so horny all the time? my god he is so fucking rapey.

-terezi!!! terezi!!! she's my favorite troll. her friendship with dave is so adorable. i like how they start out as enemies mocking each other but end up as (shitty) art buddies. but man, she is just as extreme in her trolling effort like, she did kill john in a timeline. anyway, back to dave and terezi. they both think theyre so cool but theyre actually cringe. also, is the drawing of the guy above the his tyranny writing in her room, meant to be karkat? ugh, i wish im her.

-i dont have much to say over sollux but as a gemini, he has the coolest design. literally the coolest shade ever. twin signs represent!

-karkat is... *grits teeth* self recognition through the other (derogatory). i hate that i shared his classpect. he ruined an objectively awesome title just by being himself. but i never really know what kind of guy he is, just his notoriousness as a grumpy anime boy slash tumblr sexyman. i hate him even more after knowing him btw, because he really is just like me! on the surface, he's just a 13 year old version of jean vicquemare from disco elysium. but seeing his memos, seeing his... everything. oh my god. i hate myself. his constant bitching is my inner voice everytime i have to deal with [redacted] and [redacted]. only that im now old enough to know i shouldnt unleash that to everyone indiscriminately. also, i too did the future writing thing. like, i would actually look at my old diary entries, and wrote a response as if speaking to my past self. but, is it weird that seeing him makes me a bit more confident in my own leadership skills? I dont know. anyway, he's funny. god even him just living his life and breathing is hilarious. i want to see you suffer little man (not in a whump way i want to see him get mad, eat shit, and react to ridiculous shit)

-JADE!!!! i miss her a lot. finally she's in the game. she's one of the nicest and the coolest of the beta kids. and i envy her house a lot. im sick of her being out of the loop. also, just from her science alone, she's pretty OP. she dont need powers to defeat the imps. she's very much my favorite out of the beta kids

-i cannot believe dave resorts to ruining the stock market. he would have liked nfts. cant believe that plotline exists and it was actually an elaborate troll plot. i cant wait to see him blossom to his cool future selves. caw caw motherfucker was impressive as hell despite being ridiculous. i have no idea how his sprite make that cool. also, his bro's dead? its kinda sad. like, i know the training and the smuppet shit wasnt exactly healthy and sane but, its still a tragedy that he never really get the chance to understand his parent or get closure. bro's dead. thats it.

[alebrijediscordico]

Yknow what. even if the way of water ends up being good, im just gonna say right now what i could've changed in the first movie to like. make it a bit more heavy in the story department,

like. starting with whatever the Fuck is going on on avatar's earth. i feel like, going with and idea of the military of that earth Maybe not even giving jake's brother (twin? i need to watch the movie again) a proper funeral. so- what if this earth is a fully military dystopian.

like i can almost visualize this scene where jake tells how is earth, something along the lines of "-and i remember reading history books telling us of this great man, who united the world and helped science go even further than we could even dream... just to turn around and tell everyone that the stars were full of enemies, and we needed to make sure we gotten them first before them us. and they were keeping materials from us. 'precious, precious materials' i remember my teacher saying back then. my brother ate all those weird lies and enlisted the first day he turned 18" or... idk. but you get the idea.

Then once he's in pandora, he's just... kinda amazed with the world. perhaps experiencing child like wonder for the first time in Years. or maybe even ever. like.. pandora was so full of life and creatures, so beautiful and free...

maybe its even a surprise to him because probably most of the greenery and animals in earth is much less now. or worst even, behind some kind of paywall, so seeing all these plants could probably lead him to rebel the military (because maybe he respects them, but the trust of them is on thin ice. idk i feel like it adds smth)

(also, maybe instead of not being able to use both of his legs, maybe he lost one or was born without one, BUT still uses a wheelchair to make more obvious that the state on earth is fucking shitty, in the sense that maybe prosthetics stopped being made because the dictator that turned the earth into that state was Beyond Awful and idk,, didnt see an use on them? but Also maybe for some reason his avatar is also missing a leg but they Do give him a prosthetic (to his avatar and later to him too) for military reasons. and in a weird way that could send him and the audience the message that they only did that because he was useful to them)

anyways, so the movie goes forward, he gets to know the na'vi and i mean Know them. he sees little and Big cultural things, like dances, traditional food and hunting, clothes, children playing while chasing each others tail, maybe even word puns with their language (IDK, MORE STUFF. A BIGGER GLIMPSE OF A CULTURE THAN JUST PRETTY BLUE PPL ( sorry, my demons)). And that, along side other missions he takes to see more of that world, break more and more the ice under jake until he's in the deep end, almost drowning at the face of having to choose; he either has to tell the na'vi of the soon to be invasion and be seen as a traitor or keep quiet and try to sabotage the next missions + the big one against the tree. and maybe to add more emotion, i was thinking since the planet of pandora is like this Big Connected organism, the na'vi learned from it to connect stuff too, to their surroundings and to themselves, to the point the prosthetics they make are more natural, almost feeling like if it was skin and bone. because no-fucking-body is gonna tell me a sentient species could get that far without taking care of the ones with less, facing problems out of their control or severely hurt. NO ONE.

Now, for reasons jake tries to first sabotage the missions along side the other characters + more scientists that are slowly being dragged to the good side, but they fail so he has to run and warn the na'vi... but he fails, he's too late like in the movie.

and almost everything is the same, up to the point where he needs to get their trust back. Now, at some point he gets the news that Neytiri has become Toruk Makto to be able to defend her people more easily, so the white savior narrative is officially out of the fucking window now, thank you very much. And besides!! it makes! more! sense!!!

now, what happens instead of him coming up with the Leonopteryx, is that once he and neytiri reunite again, she lets the Leonopteryx connect to the tree they had and then tells jake that "it will decide if youre worthy of getting our trust back" and if he doesnt... he dies.

but since it got connected to the tree before, telling some of his worries and asking for advice, almost praying to the ones in the tree to help him do the right thing, the Leonopteryx takes that in mind and gives him a second chance. Neytiri takes more time to forgive him tho, but she accepts the help.

Now, they know the antagonists are coming, so not only they reunite more na'vi to fight them like originally, but they send others to travel far to the tribes of the world, the one's they couldnt get to fast enough for help, with a message. "a danger looms in this world. this danger is big and it wont stop. Its hungry of power, it doesnt reason and it will kill, and their weapons are not for getting food or defend, they are made to destroy. please be warned" Which could be perfect as a set up for the next movie,

anyway, the big fight happens, no one dies but most of the main human characters do need to be transferred to their avatars because their human bodies wont make it.

and thats how my rewrite of the movie would end, BUT, since there's more movies coming, i was thinking. what if the things that happened here had repercussions on the earth of this universe.

like im thinking people get news of what happened and for some time they think the na'vi are bad- until the true gets revealed by a scientist that got back during the second/third movie to share all they had discovered, including the fact that the military burned down a very important thing for the na'vi for no good reason at all (reflecting how the military in that world also burned multiple things for Also no reason at all) and that snaps something in people. like a spark of fire in a dry and dying forest of people who were already fucking tired of the military state of the earth. so while things are going on in pandora, things are goin on back in earth too, so the movies series would probably end with the people on earth winning along side the na'vi on pandora, and the new leader in place of making sure the defeated soldiers and generals going back to earth dont hold any power anymore.

....so yeah, maybe i have A Few thoughts on this movie. it was deffo bim narrative wise, but that just means i got to do This <3

[feuqueerfire]

My Stand-In Ep 11 Live Blogging

I'm so excited, been waiting for the past 5 days. From the previews, seems like it'll be an angsty episode (episode 11 after all) and I'm really looking forward to this "ep 11 angst curse" because the conflict has been hinted at throughout the entire show so far (Ming's rich, shitty family and the fact that they would disapprove if they knew he was gay) rather than random problems that pop-up just because they need conflict. Also, I thinkkkk it may bring the two of them closer together, especially with Ming showing how far he's willing to go for Joe and that he's serious about this, rather than driving the two of them apart.

Ep 11 (July 5)

59 minutes, nice. Also half-glad that apparently it releases early-ish in the morning because I expected it to release closer to noon because today I get to watch it earlier but next week, there'll be an even longer time between when it's released and when I get to watch it and there'll be spoilers abound.

Mike promised Ming something hmm, will we get an ally?

even Sol knew that Joe wasn't gonna be able to not get back together with Ming lol

oh, I hope Sol is bowing out. he even used Phi-Nong for themselves

man, Mike's not an ally, just a soft villain compared to what I assume his father will do. although i wonder if Mike's the one who'll send the contract stuff to Joe's mother because I'm dreading that the most and will make Mike much worse

oh nooooo, we're already getting Ing finding out about the Ming-Joe contract aghhh I don't wanna watch T.T

I don't really even know how Joe would explain this tbh like what would make her be okay?

damn, she really said don't see me until you've paid off all the debt

so Mike isn't behind it? fr? hmm...

sickly, delicate, Victorian boy looking Ming

ohh Ming's telling Mike about new Joe being old Joe

not the parents suddenly coming in, not even a hint that they've come home beforehand

Ming's vomit falling on his mother's hand is grossing me out

lmfao Mike knowing that Ming was faking it. i love siblings and their shenanigans

yay, Mike has become an ally

I know people were shipping Mike and the secretary, though I don't care about that pairing myself

giggling over them playing around and Ming being a cute menace while in a hospital bed

okayyyy is the mother gonna be fine too now that she's seen the two of them together/wants her son to be well? also she's so beautiful

Ah, the mother sent the lawyer to Ing agh

Poor May bro, I can't believe she's stuck with Tong and is gonna have a child too agh I want her to leave him so bad

yess May, I love youuuuu <333333

why is this father actually evil bruh, threatening to disown Ming and take away his business and everything

anyway, that Tong info was barely leverage like Ming could've left and been disowned even without that aghhh should've used it as at least a bit more leverage

I'm once again mad/sad that Ming's not seeing Joe's real face

May, trusttttt, this divorce will be good for you

Do not show me Tong saying "I'm sorry" to the empty air. Is he doing this because he wants to protect May from the debt collectors or something? idc, you can't make me sympathetic towards him, I need to see him get fucked up

Tong leading these debt collectors straight to Joe while he begs him aghhh and now Joe's gotta fight them because he's too nice

girl what even, how did they switch clothes and mask/glasses so that they kidnap Joe instead of Tong and whyyyyy

why why why would you "take care of this" Joe? why

Ming mistakenly calling Tong Joe from seeing his back goes so hard though

500 000 000 baht oh my god, let's just trade and have Tong killed what the fuck

It's not fun to see Tong grovel/admit fault, I want revenge aklsjfaklsfjskl;f

fucking hell. I guess this is how Joe ends up in the wheelchair

we wouldn't happen to get Joe's real body back, would we? Since the cremation happened and everybody attended his funeral

did nobody inform Joe's mother? meanwhile fuckass Tong is here

what the hell is that door?

poor Joe who is fucking tired of everything happening to him. can't blame him for choosing the door, though I wonder if he's gonna turn back around next ep or he'll get his own body back or what

ofc we're ending here

The conflict had been hinted at throughout the show, but the episode was still quite different from the usual episodes where they're mostly in like Joe's house or at work (shooting/practicing/etc.) and Ming's a strong presence, whether it be to psychologically play with Joe or begging Joe lol. And this felt like a bit of a different genre now with the father and the debt collectors kidnapping Joe but we've been building up to it for a while. Like I'm just glad that the ep 11 problems, although more intense and in a different form than the previous episodes, are not out of the left field.

I can take Mike and Ming's mother becoming allies in this episode but I do not have it in me to give Tong grace. They still made him kinda cowardly and selfish in this episode but he's being portrayed as pitiful as well and maybe like he's turned a new leaf but like Enough! I was on board Ming's changes but you can't just make every shitty person become "good," I still need to see Tong get his comeuppance but I doubt we will. If they also make the father come around next episode (is he the one who called the cops?), then what even... we need some villains/antagonists who don't become sympathetic (the debt collectors don't count, they're hardly characters).

I can't believe I've not got to wait a week and ~8 hours to watch the last episode, what the hell... give it to me now. I'm not super worried about what happens next week though because of the scenes with Joe in a wheelchair that are yet to come.

[wack-ashimself]

OMFG. I'm famous. haha. <THIS IS GONNA BE A LONG ONE. I am recalling things I've never posted online...>

So there's only been 2 times in my life I felt 'cool'.

1-You would think all the times I met famous people and (sometimes) talked to them. Nope. It's when I earned an imdb credit (and in turn page) for a voice over I did for a BAD movie (that's why I have never mentioned this publicly till now. And I ain't posting my real name on tumblr. Sorry. It's my only anon site). I wasn't even paid. Given free drinks tho. And an experience I never had before or since (recording was AWESOME. I would love to do professional VO work. TOUGH market tho; actually worse than the acting market. Seriously). It was fun...not gonna act like it was a good movie, tho. AND I got to go the premiere: red carpet and all. It was....one of the better times in LA.

2-When I worked for a few months at a club as the front door greeter (Ids, keep the line, report shit, and once it's going, patrol the club). I got to wear my SUPER TACKY BEJEWELED with an eagle fashion jacket, fedora, and I looked fucking cool; no one had to tell me. Also, best I have ever been treated by strangers IN MY LIFE. They treated me like a demi god (all cuz they thought I could hook them up/break the rules. I did not). It's weird when people (who I KNEW were mostly assholes) fake being nice to you, even trying to bribe you, all because of your power. It honestly made me feel bad for famous/powerful people. Sincerely. You wouldn't know WHO you could trust. That IS tough. Eventually, the gigs died down. All the people I started with originally quit or...no they all quit. I was gonna say some just didn't show, but that's quitting in a different way. I stayed the longest. It was...usually fun. 1/2 of the nights were dead so you're just standing there with your dick in your hand (always hated that expression). The LGBQT parties, tho..... THEY WERE FUCKING NUTS! IMO I had not seen a 'party' party till those parties. I mean, the one on new years eve...it was an EVENT. OMG. I felt bad for the cleaners. And I still remember 2 of the most insane things that if I had not seen, I would not have believed while working there. I do wanna say I don't think these happened necessarily at LGBQT parties. One time, a guy was knocked to the floor, and like SIX people beat the ever loving fuck outta him, and it took a while for it to be stopped (they didn't hire the most guards...) Ambulance had to come and all. Had to work on him immediately, on the ground, once outside. I had only seen a beating one other time like that in my life. The second is a more humorous, but a still violent story (these wouldn't happen at cannabis only parties....). I saw, I fuck you not, 2 people in powered wheelchairs fight. First in the chairs, then one knocked down, fighting on the floor. OMG. They tried to chase each other down at some point. Finally, one left, and the other REFUSED to get back in his chair. Like fought off 2 people trying to get him in his chair. It was a LONG 5 minutes. Finally, the manager (one of them. They had so fucking many. All paid shitty) said 'if you don't leave, I am calling the cops.' Never saw a handicapped person move so fast from the floor to the chair to out the door. It was....you can't make this shit up, kinda stories, ya know? I may have HATED city life, but, I lived a whole LIFETIME in the 3 years I was there. I have so many stories, I genuinely forgot a lot of them...sucks, but sometimes (like these) they'll...pop up.

But NOW, #3 cool moment in my life...

SO, why, today, am I famous? My friend pointed out that on 102.5 WIOG's wikipedia page (ya know, where I worked 5 1/2 years), among the famous known DJ's, MY NAME IS UP THERE.

NO, I swear on my soul, I did not do that. <OR, if I did, I was a new level of black out I have never reached before. Joking.> Cuz...I don't google myself often. Like I did last year for the first time in...3 years? I am starting more and more, now. <cuz my wack885 name which I use on everything is being lambasted by trolls on fucking youtube of me bitching when they choke on overwatch (it's from THEIR viewpoint and you SEE them suck, but they upload it to mock me for pointing out their suckage.> So now I HAVE to look up my real name, wack, and wack885 cuz fuckers have no fucking life. I never paid attention to them; I have no idea how long this has been going on.

ANYWAYS,

The weird part of my name on the radio wiki is....the names they mention around me are all WAYYYY before my time. It's like all classic radio djs I remember...then me, 2nd from the end, outta no where. I mean, no one I WORKED with was even on there, and they were on the morning show.... So it's def a gag/troll thing, but...thanks? lol Because of it, I actually added 'wack' to the 'wack' wikipedia (there's a lot of em').

(Anyone know how to use wikipedia? I actually just created an account. I know nothing. I need to link my name in the article to my name in the 'wack' page. How do I do that? I know I have to edit, but how do I impose the link? Thanks in advance.)

<Yeah...after ALL that shit, I end on a 'help me with my wiki'. But that's me. I'm wack ;) >