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love-quinn · 3 months

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— GOOGLE REVIEWS

summary — carmen's never been good with his words, so when he finds you crying in the walk-in, he gets some help to convince you that you're capable of doing your job.

warnings — swearing, general customer-service nightmare stuff. reader is younger than carmen but i pictured/wrote her as being mid-late twenties (25-28 ish) and i think carmy is early 30s so there's an age gap but they're both fully adults, also boss/employee relationship so power imbalance but also nothing happens between them

pairing — carmen berzatto x fem!waitress reader, not established relationship

pronouns — she/her

word count — 1.9k

note — first carmen fic so obligatory warning that he might be OOC, i rlly work on dialogue and shit but i am finding my footing. waitress!reader is kinda special to me i might write some more about them cause they're both so silly if that's something people would be interested in? anyway i hope you enjoy :3

“Stupid… fucking useless- fuck!”

The rush is familiar. The lunch rush, the dinner rush, the fifteen different orders jumbling in your head as you struggle to write it all down in time. Holding nine full glasses of nine different drinks in one hand and struggling to push open the door to run the food out into the dining room. Having to go to Richie and tell him that someone’s card declined so you didn’t have to be the one to tell them. Going into the walk-in and just opening your mouth in a silent scream just to go back out there and finish your shift.

The rush of cold air on the back of your neck is familiar too. You don’t know what Carmen’s yelling about in the kitchen. You’d just stepped in there to grab food and had caught the tail end of his rant and you’d left with your tray and a million possibilities running through your head.

You’d written something down wrong and now a dish needed to be remade.

You’d left one of the fridges open and spoiled days worth of food.

You’d given someone something they were allergic to and now you were being sued.

You move through the restaurant on autopilot, avoiding people and chairs and one of Richie’s spitballs sent from behind the counter. You’re so sure that the next time you went back in that kitchen Carmy would be pulling you aside and telling you that you’re fired.

You deliver the food to the table with a smile and stand back upright to check in with them about that being everything. One of the women sits up a little straighter, giving you an apologetic look. “Sorry, I ordered a side of the lemon herb dressing?”

You look down at her dressing-less plate. “Oh, I’m sorry. I’ll be right back with that one, so sorry.”

She waves you off. “You take as long as you need to, honey.”

You practically speed back to the kitchen. Oh, god. You hoped you’d at least get that poor woman her dressing before Carmy fired you. You can’t believe that you managed to screw this up. You’d been lucky to get this job. Carmen had brought you on right when he’d opened up the restaurant and the rest of The Bear had all been super welcoming.

You got on best with Sydney, the two of you were similar in age and she was one of the kindest people you knew. You and Richie also had a nice relationship, you thought he hated you when you first got hired and then he walked out into the alley to have a cigarette, found you crying and punched a guy in the face for you.

You needed this job. You’d graduated a few years ago and were still struggling to break through in your field, and this job paid the bills and didn’t make you cry every single day. Some days, sure, but not every day.

You knew you weren’t the best waitress ever, you screwed up and made customers yell at you pretty frequently. You were lucky that Richie liked you enough to stand up for your honor even when you were probably wrong. But you tried your absolute best, you came into work every day and genuinely wanted to help. You respected all of the chefs so much, they all worked so hard, and you wanted to make their lives as easy as possible.

You go over to Richie and murmur something to him about the dressing, and he takes it to the kitchen. First whatever you’d done to upset Carmy, now this. If he didn’t think you knew how to do your job before, he definitely will now. You glanced over your section. All your tables were eating or had ordered, you’d normally be checking with Sugar when the next reservation was due and triple-checking the table was clean and everything was prepared.

If you were going to get a walk-in minute in, now would be the best time. Maybe you could do it before Carmy fired you.

You brush past Tina, not even hearing her concerned call for you. The walk-in was empty and everyone in the kitchen understood. When someone goes into the walk-in with tears in their eyes you leave them alone for as long as you can.

You can’t believe that you were stupid enough to screw this up.

The door slams open and you wipe your eyes, expecting it to be Tina needing to actually do her job or Marcus wanting to check on you. It’s Carmen.

“What happened?” He hadn’t been expecting to see you so upset. He’d heard the door slam and wanted to leave it alone, but then Richie had raised his eyebrows, stopping mid-sentence.

“God, I can’t wait to hear about whatever asshole yelled at her this time,” he’d shaken his head, trying to go back to what he’d been talking to Carmy about before. One of the shelves had been knocked and two containers of flour had been completely emptied out onto the floor. They had lids on, lids with clamps on them that were meant to stop that from happening but lo and behold Fak was now mopping up something that was beginning to resemble bread dough with how much water he was trying to use. .

“Who?” Carmy’s eyes had still been glued to the walk-in. Richie had said your name and Carmen had practically excused himself in the same breath. This time? Did you get yelled at by customers a lot?

You wipe your face, shaking your head. “Sorry, Carm. I guess I just needed a second, I’ll get back out there.”

You take a step forward and he, without meaning to, moves to block the door. You feel your heart rate climb. This was it, he was going to scream at you in the walk-in. “You’re crying.”

You can feel the tears welling up in your eyes. You didn’t want this to happen, you didn’t want to be crying in front of your boss. Especially not Carmen. He’s a lot, you know that. You’re not in the kitchen a whole lot, but when you are he’s usually not super happy. He’s a yeller, half of Chicago knows that. But he’s always kind to you, he gave you a job when you were fresh out of college in an unrelated field with no experience because he could tell how much you needed one. You often felt out of place slightly, through no fault of the other staff. They spent all shift in the kitchen together and you spent your entire shift out there in the dining room. You know they’re not having sleepovers and braiding each others’ hair in there, but your work mostly took place in a different room.

But Carmen always makes sure you get Family, that you get your break even if it’s scheduled while it’s busy and that Richie isn’t skimming your tips (he’d never, but Carmen’s caught him with his hands in the jar so often that he isn’t sure anymore).

It really doesn’t help that he looks like that.

You’re shaking, and he worries for a second that it’s because you’re standing in the freezer, but there are tears welling in your eyes and he doesn’t want to drag you out to his office when you’re so visibly upset. “I’m sorry,” you’re shaking your head. “Please don’t fire me.”

Carmen frowns. “Why would I fire you?”

The words seem to tumblr from your mouth without your permission. “I know I’m not the best waitress, I’m sure you get lots of complaints about me and I forgot that woman’s dressing and I know nothing about kitchens but I’m trying, Carm. I promise, and I’ll do better.” You’re talking so fast that he can barely keep up. He’s still caught up on the first part.

“Wait, wait,” he holds a hand up to stop you. “Who told you you’re not a good waitress?”

You sniff, tears fully rolling down your cheeks. Carmen knows he’s rough. He’s prone to explosions. Carmen is a hurricane, he wreaks havoc on whatever environment he’s in. He sucks in everyone else’s bullshit, swirls it around and then spits it back out, leaving whatever is left in worse condition than he found it.

You were calm. You calmed everyone. If an asshole yelled at Carmen, or Sydney or Ebra, Richie wouldn’t even dream of going out there and yelling at the customer. Marcus made you a cake on your birthday and Sydney tries all of her newest recipes on you.

The eye of the hurricane.

You’re prattling at this point. “-And that time that I made that guy wait fifteen minutes for a straw, and-”

“Honey,” he doesn’t mean to, that slips out without him meaning. “You’re a great waitress, who gives a shit that guy had to wait for his fucking straw? Who cares, you’re…” he can’t think of a way to talk to you. Great feels too impersonal, wonderful feels too intimate. It’s what you are, though. “You have nothing to worry about. You’re… everyone loves you. We’re lucky to- I’m sure you could get a job at any other restaurant if you wanted. You’re not a bad waitress.”

That’s apparently the wrong thing for him to say. It only makes you cry harder. “Please don’t fire me,” you look pathetic. Crying to your boss while he fires you in the middle of the freezer.

Carmen doesn’t let that slide for a second longer than he has to. “Why the fuck would I fire you?”

You don’t need to answer. Because I’m a bad waitress. It hangs in the air like the frosty vapor that flies from his mouth every time he takes a breath.

“I swear to fuck, you’re a big part of the reason people come in here,” he’s not lying. He knows his name carries weight, he knows people hear “Carmen Berzatto’s restaurant” and that brings them in the door a lot of the time. He pulls out his phone, reception is shit but he’s able to google the name of the restaurant.

He doesn’t have to scroll far down the Google reviews before he finds it. “Food was great, waitress was lovely, made us feel so welcome.” He finds another one. “Waitstaff was on top of it. Two people at surrounding tables smashed glasses and from what I saw one waitress cleaned them both up and still managed to get our appetizers out on time.”

He goes to find another one but stops, looking back up at you. “You’re not firing me?” You take a step back, dropping your entire body so you’re sitting cross-legged on the floor. He watches you, gauging your reaction, before mirroring you. Your knees are almost touching his.

“I’d have to be a fucking moron.”

The silence is deafening.

“Hey,” Carmen can’t bite back the shocked laugh. “That’s… alright. Fine.”

Hearing you laugh makes relief bubbled up inside of him.

“I should go back out there,” you nod towards the door.

Carmy shakes his head, knee nudging against yours. “Richie’s got it, Marcus can walk desserts, Syd’s on top of everything. No one’s gonna hold it against you if you stay here for a bit.”

He stands, hand brushing your shoulder as he moves towards the door. “Have you eaten today?”

You shake your head and he nods. “I’m gonna make you some pasta, okay? Richie can take over for a bit, you take your time in here I’ll be right outside, honey.” He shuts the door and your shoulder burns where he touched it.

#carmen berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto #carmen berzatto fic #the bear fx

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dootdootwriting · 1 year

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♡ PRIDE with the HSR cast ♡

featuring: jing yuan; bronya; dan heng; gepard landau; himeko; march 7th; natasha; sampo; seele; serval landau; welt yang tw: none type: fluff, pride month, hcs, a lil bit silly pronouns used: none a/n: cishets dni with this post <3 it's not for you <3 (normally you are welcome on my blog! just not this post) queer ppl PLEASE interact. idc what ur identity is if you're lgbtq+ in some way this post is for you <3 i love you (YES this includes trans straight people and bi people with crushes on characters of the opposite gender. you are loved and included)

ERM sorry this is a day late i got really tired and had to finish it today!! utc for length as usual

DAN HENG

kind of forgets about it until it's june first and he goes "oh wait. it's the gay month now isnt it"

anyway he's happy he gets to celebrate it with you. otherwise he wouldn't really see the point in doing anything special

probably gets you some kind of gift with your flag on it <3 whether it be a plushie or a banner or just a flag!

if you like going to the parades and celebrations, he'll go with you. he's not a huge fan of all the crowds of people there, but it doesn't bother him too much and he likes seeing you happy, so the net value is positive

buys something for himself if the two of you go shopping this month

he'll see a t-shirt with a little rainbow on the chest and he smiles a bit and buys it to sleep in

you also get him obnoxiously rainbow sweatpants. at first he is incredibly offended, but eventually they grow on him and he starts wearing them around the astral express. march lives for them and was visibly upset that she did not get a pair.

MARCH 7TH

WOW!!! ALL GAY PEOPLES' BIRTHDAY!!! NO WAY!!!

march is the most excited for pride month out of everyone on the astral express. she stays up until midnight on june 1st like it's new year's eve

AGGRESSIVE with all her pride merch. she gets you so much shit too. pride shirt. pride sweatshirt. pride socks. a million pride bracelets.

if the two of you go out together in june, she makes sure you're also dressed to the nines in various flags and rainbow colors

drags you to the pride parades. march convinces the crew of the express to let her make a train float for the parade of whatever planet you're on and she goes TO THE MAX with it.

speaking of the express, when everyone wakes up and enters the main train car, they find march putting up streamers and blasting lady gaga at full volume

tldr she's fucking excited

HIMEKO

ohh pride month! so blowing homophobes up is legal this month?

well, i wish. sorry himeko

she's one for more subtle pride merch. maybe a hair-tie or a bracelet, but she has at least one little flag on her at all times.

also has some pride pajamas. hey, they're comfy.

if you're comfortable, she'll take you to the pride parades. if not, no problem, the two of you can celebrate from home.

also probably gifts you something! she gets matching pins for the two of you so you can be proud... together!!

if any of the other express crew comments on her little pride ornaments, she goes "yeah? and what about it?" like a queen. this is completely ineffective however because the entire crew is queer in some way

WELT YANG

oh, it's june again. alright.

doesn't really see the need to celebrate, but will allow you to adorn him with various pride baubles if you so desire

thinks it's very cute if you get excited about pride... like yeah, yeah you should be proud.

while he doesn't outwardly show much excitement about the occasion, you notice welt gets more affectionate with you

there are more little forehead kisses when he passes you, more reaching for your hand when he walks beside you, and you swear you can feel him hold you just a little bit tighter when you go to sleep

when march proposes the idea of decorating the express, he gives a slight but genuine smile and shoots you a knowing look.

even though he could celebrate himself this month if he chose to, for welt, it's more about celebrating you and the relationship he has with you.

he's more proud of that than anything else.

BRONYA

exhausted by pride month before it even begins LOL

being the head of the city, she's in charge of sanctioning and scheduling and planning all the official pride parades and celebrations happening around belobog, and, well... wow, are people in belobog really fucking gay

also deigns to go give some speeches at a couple of the rallies. she's a cool supreme guardian

cocolia allowed pride parades during her reign, but she never encouraged them. both to celebrate her own identity and yours and completely spite her mother, bronya encourages the people of belobog to go all out

and they do!

she gets a couple of gifts for you. not anything super huge or out there, but a flag or a shirt or a hair pin to match with one of hers.

bronya also gets premium seats to any pride parade she goes to, and she definitely takes advantage of this. kind of the best dates ever.

and when she's exhausted by the day's events and the two of you lay down to bed, you can hear her quietly wish you happy pride.

GEPARD LANDAU

gets really excited about pride, but doesn't really know what to do with it

and also, as captain of the silvermane guards, he's tasked with making sure all the official belobog pride parades are safe and orderly

this is quite the task given how passionate belobog's gay community is

on days where he doesn't bring you, he comes back covered in fans and stickers and streamers and confetti in the colors of pretty much any queer flag you can think of.

he has you deck out his armor for him. you grab your paint and stickers and washi tape and decorate the hell out of him

he's so happy when you do this. it's a very sweet moment full of fun and laughter and intimacy

no cops at pride! only gepard landau and his exuberant rainbow armor

SERVAL LANDAU

YOU LOOK AT HER AND TELL ME SHE DOESN'T BOOK SO MANY PRIDE PARADE GIGS

lord. it's so sexy. she performs her music on as many pride floats as she can, and every single time, she either takes you with her or looks at you in the crowd and blows you a kiss after her big number

SERVAL CAN I HAVE A KISSIE KISS PLS <3333

also aggressively proud. she paints her cheeks with her flag(s) and roams around yelling happy pride at anyone she sees in the streets wearing rainbows

the two of you go to a café and the guy taking your order is wearing a trans wristband and she gets so excited she starts yelling by accident and ends up giving him a 30% tip and a free concert ticket

you stare at her and shes like what??? it's pride month

girl get a grip.....?

probably takes you to a couple of raves too

you paint so many flags on each other that it looks like your skin is rainbow and stay out until the early hours of the morning

SEELE

only knows what pride month is because you explain it to her

while there's a normal sized lgbtq+ population in the underground, chances are pride celebrations every year are short and not very big

she learns about it and is so excited

seele wants to go to a pride parade in the overworld with you, but even more than that she wants to set up a parade for the people in the underground so they can really celebrate themselves

it takes a few weeks of planning and execution, but it's successful and it pays off. it's a huge amount of fun for everyone in the underground who wants to participate, and a welcome distration from the lingering effects of the stellaron

part of the planning for this of course involves taking out to attend pride parades up in belobog

the first few minutes of being in the crowd, seele is a little nervous about all the people and the fact she can't move around too easily. but she gets used to it pretty quickly

she has the best reflexes out of everyone in the crowd and manages to catch every single freebie thrown off of the floats. she brings them back to distribute among the kids in the underground.

NATASHA

natasha is reasonably excited for pride month

possibly the most normal out of everyone on jarilo VI

she puts little rainbow flag posters up on the walls of her clinic to make sure that queer kids know they're safe there year round, but they double during june

YOU CANNOT convince me natasha isn't the biggest giver of hrt treatment on jarilo VI you cannot

she wishes all her trans and otherwise queer patients happy pride when they come in, and hands out little rainbow stickers to kids she has to give shots to

her work takes up most of her day, and she regrets this during this month the most because she can't spend time with you

she's able to take the day off for your birthday and other important occasions, but patients need care

to make it up to you, the month of june is full of extra late-night dates once she's gotten home from the clinic and candlelit dinners.

SAMPO

i've said it before and i'll say it again: sampo runs an overpriced pride merch stall

and you look sooooo cute modeling all those pins and buttons and shirts and socks and hats and

has you stand around waving your flags decked out in all things rainbow, to attract customers

a couple of people rightfully accuse him of ripping them off, but sampo just blinks up at them innocently. they'd really accuse him of such a thing? during pride month of all times? have they no shame?

sampo has no shame. those customers were reacting reasonably.

when he's not conducting business, he's even more affectionate than usual, which, frankly, is difficult to do since he's usually glued to your side

"it's pride month!! we should kiss all the time obnoxiously in public to show people what queer love and joy look like"

babe....

JING YUAN

the general... has almost no time to spare for pride month

which, honestly, is such a disappointment to him. he was so looking forward to june and spending extra time with you

so instead, he has you accompany him to his work and keep him company and chat with him and sit on his lap on occasion and give him kisses when he's tired and

his coworkers are staring.

"do i detect homophobia in the room? during pride month? get back to work." (he's joking)

the lion gets a RAINBOW BOW TIE COLLAR and he is WORKING IT!!

he looks so dapper. he struts around like he's the handsomest man in the world

and he is, second to your jing yuan, of course

to show support for his community, the general flies a rainbow flag from the building

the gay is visible throughout the entire luofu

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here4kpopfics · 2 years

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Coming Home | Joshua

Pairing: Joshua x (f)reader

Genre: smut, fluff

AU: established relationship, idol!au

Wordcount: 4.4k

Summary: Your boyfriend’s flight is delayed and he won’t be home for Valentine’s Day. Your boyfriend is also a notorious liar.

Warnings: Language, pet names (pretty girl, baby) oral (f receiving), fingering, overstimulation, squirting, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), Shua’s a little shit but we love him

Rating: M/18+

AN: HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY @baljinciaga I hope you enjoy Shua loving up on you. Thank you @playmetheclassics for beta-ing & @classicscreations for the banner. 💜

Masterlist | Taglist | AskBox | Coffee?

“Say that again?” Your voice trembles just a little, enough to let him know you’re upset. You almost drop the moisturizer container on the counter.

“My flight is delayed until tomorrow evening.”

“You can’t just take another flight?” You’re being irrational, and you know it. You’re fully pouting, and although he can’t see your childish behavior, he can picture it correctly, so he lets out a breathless laugh.

“I’m sorry, baby. The weather got worse, so they delayed every flight until tomorrow.”

“But this was gonna be our first Valentine’s Day together, Joshua.” The container makes its way safely to the counter as you scoop out enough moisturizer, staring at it in your hand, still pouting.

“I know, y/n. And it’s killing me that we won’t be together. But hey, I remember you saying you never liked the day anyway. So we can have Valentine’s Day the day after. We’ll get all the chocolate for half off, and make a day of it. We’ll go out when there’s not a million people with reservations. We’ll go for a walk, come home, have a spa night, I’ll tell you how much I love you over and over. It’ll be perfect.”

It does sound perfect, but you’re still an irrational child right now as you huff a breath out in annoyance, rubbing the moisturizer across your face.

“I only said I didn’t like Valentine’s Day because I didn’t have someone to spend it with. Now I have you, and I was looking forward to it…” you take a deep breath, temper tantrum dying as the moisturizer melts into your skin. “It’s okay. You can’t change the weather, and you’re right. We can have the day after be our day.”

“I’m sorry, pretty.”

“It’s fine. But next year. Next year, you are doing the whole nine yards of cheesy Valentine’s Day.” The laughter from the phone’s speaker makes your heart flutter. You love that laugh so much. You love everything about Joshua. It’s a little sickening.

“I promise, my love. The whole nine yards.”

“Good.”

“I gotta go, but I’ll see you the day after tomorrow, okay? And then we can celebrate in our own way.”

“Okay. I love you, Shua.”

“Love you too, baby. Bye.”

“I also bought a sexy lingerie set for tomorrow. Sucks you won’t see it. Okay byyyyeeeee.” Your words stick together as you say it all in one breath, leaving just enough time for him to start saying what before hanging up on him. You go back to getting ready for bed, giggling at the influx of text messages from your boyfriend.

Shua🧸: you bought a what now?

Shua🧸: I wanna see.

Shua🧸: Pretty Girl.

Shua🧸: Answer me pls. 🥺

Oh, the damn pouty emoji with the nickname wins every time.

You take the set out of the bag, laying it on the bed and instead of getting into it like you know he probably wants you to. But it’s late, and that’s just too damn bad.

You send the picture of the set off to him, and not even a second later, your phone is a mess again.

Shua🧸: …

Shua🧸: Baby please put that on and let me see.

Y/n: no

Shua🧸: 🥺

Y/n: nah nah nah. The pouty face won’t work twice in a row. Come home and maybe you’ll see it.

Shua🧸: I’ll fucking fly the plane myself if it gets me home sooner.

Y/n: good luck with that, Shu. Goodnight 😘

You silence your phone, getting settled into bed with a smile on your face. You’re bummed about not seeing him in the morning, but it’s always fun to tease your boyfriend. Maybe you can wear the set and send some photos tomorrow.

You fall asleep thinking of ways to make a shitty situation better.

The next morning, you decided to follow through with the plan, getting ready for work and wearing the pretty little lace thing you bought underneath your pencil skirt and a flowy blouse. You took a few photos before finishing getting ready and sent them off to Joshua, and left for work.

Work sucked, however.

Until today, you were unaware of how many of your coworkers were in relationships. And until today, you were not aware of how horrifically stereotypical some people could be about Valentine’s Day. It really wasn’t that many, but it felt like every hour, a flower delivery would happen for a few of your coworkers at a time. But it grew more confusing each time because it was almost always a dozen roses for each coworker.

Except when the delivery person comes by your cubicle with a small vase with a few beautiful sunflowers in it and a tiny card attached.

“We’ve been trying to reach you about your car’s extended warranty.”

~🧸

The sputtering laugh was completely unintentional and surely scared some of your coworkers, but you didn’t care. You whipped out your phone and took a photo of the flowers and card arranged nicely on your desk and sent it to Joshua with a few heart emojis. As it was sending, however, you noticed he never responded to the lingerie photo. It just said it was seen.

You toss your phone in your desk drawer, feeling self-conscious, and ignoring it the rest of the work day.

The bus ride home sucked more than work did, with couples holding hands on their way to their crowded dates, and couples on their way back home and being a little too handsy with one another. You stay seated, annoyed with yourself for forgetting and leaving the sunflowers at work.

You check your messages again to find nothing from Joshua. The stupid read receipt shows under the photo but no replies. You put your phone away, instead focusing on the city outside the window the rest of the way home. You start to zone out until you hear a small voice.

“Excuse me, lady?” You turn away from the window, finding a little boy, at least five or six years old, smiling ear to ear.

“Hi?” How the hell do you respond to children? Especially stranger children?

“This is for you!” He exclaims, handing you a single rose.

What?

“Oh?” You hesitantly take the rose from him, eyes scanning the rest of the bus until you find what you assume to be his mother sitting across from you, smiling at you and her son. You smile back, nodding your head to her before looking back at her son.

“That’s so sweet of you. Thank you!” You grin, nodding your head to him as he does to you.

“I don’t have a Valentine. Will you be mine?” He asks, and you have to bite back a laugh, sharing another glance with his mom, who just shrugs with a laugh.

Well, he did give you a rose.

“Sure! What’s your name, Valentine?”

“Min-su!”

“Ahh, nice to meet you, Min-su! My name is y/n!”

You two talk for another ten minutes. Or, rather, you let him excitingly tell you about his day at school and all the things he and his friends did while you and his mom share looks of amusement. When it’s time for them to get off the bus, he quickly reaches in his backpack and takes out a small pack of Sour Patch Kids, shoving them in your hand.

“Thank you for being my Valentine!!” You laugh, thanking him back and waving at him and his mother as they get off the bus. You sniff the rose, holding it close to you and smiling the rest of the way home.

You climb the stairs to your apartment, still playing with the rose in your hand, and come to halt at your doorstep once you unlock the door.

You didn’t leave the lights on, did you?

Why does it smell like the oven is on?

Why are there candles lit?

Before you can do or say anything, someone rounds the corner from the kitchen and into your living room.

“Ah, crap! I thought I had more time!” Your boyfriend. The boyfriend that said he wasn’t going to be here until tomorrow. That boyfriend. Is somehow standing in your living room, wearing a simple white shirt loosely tucked into his jeans.

“I don’t suppose you can, like…go back outside for ten more minutes so I can get everything set up, right?”

You glare at him, still not moving an inch as you try to figure out what the hell is going on.

“No. I can’t. It’s like 10 degrees outside.”

“Right, right. Okay…then uh…” he looks around the room for a second. “How about your room? Wait, no. I didn’t finish setting up in there. Please don’t go in there.”

“Setting up?”

“Maybe the bathroom?”

“Josh.”

“Yeah, the bathroom…”

“Shua.”

“It’ll only be like a few minutes, I promise.”

“Joshua!” You yell, finally silencing him. His mouth parts in shock, switching back and forth on his feet, hands playing with one another.

“What the hell is going on? You said your flight was delayed.”

“Oh…uh…” he fidgets in place before looking at you nervously. “I lied!”

“You lied?”

“Yeah?” He can sense you getting mad, remembering how much you hate when he lies, even if it’s as a joke or surprise, and switches into defense mode to quickly explain himself.

“But it was part of the surprise! I was gonna have all the cheesy Valentine’s Day stuff ready to go when you got here. I have your favorite meal going and your favorite wine. I was gonna put out a bunch of rose petals leading to the table and the bed. I was gonna light more candles, but then it got too stuffy in here, and I know you hate that. And then I got you a teddy bear, one that looks exactly like the emoji one you use in your phone for me. And I got a heart-shaped box of chocolates, I sent you the flowers…whe- where are the flowers?”

“I accidentally left them at work…” you both look down at the rose in your hand.

“Oh. Why do you have a rose?”

“My Valentine on the bus, Min-su, gave it to me and a pack of sour patch kids.” You pull the candy out of your pocket, placing it and the rose on the table by the door.

“You’re cheating on me?” You roll your eyes, kicking your shoes off.

“He’s like five, Shua.” You groan, hanging your purse and jacket by the door.

“You’re cheating on me with a five year old?”

You scowl, giving yourself a moment to calm down.

He’s here. On Valentine’s Day. He lied to surprise you.

Your heart’s going to burst.

“Shut up and hug me before I start crying.”

“Say less!” He rushes over to where you’re still standing, wrapping you up in his arms.

God, you missed this feeling of his arms tightly around you, keeping you safe. You tuck your face into his neck, breathing in the scent of him, and you don’t want to cry, but when you take another breath, a soft sob escapes you.

“Is this why you didn’t respond to me all day?” Your question gets muffled against his skin.

“Yeah, my love. I’m sorry.”

You pull away from his neck, quickly wiping the tears from your cheeks. His hands drop to your hips as he kisses your forehead.

“Okay. I was worried you didn’t like the photo.” You hiccup, face flushing in embarrassment.

“Oh, pretty girl,” his fingers dig into your hips, pulling you flush against him.

“That was the first thing I saw when I got off the plane,” his hands riding up your waist, “and it took everything in me not to just go straight to your office and have my way with you there.”

Your breath catches in your throat when his hands stop, his thumbs pressing against your rib cage just below your breasts. He can feel the wire lining of the bra and he sighs almost in relief.

“Are you still wearing it?” You nod slowly. “You wore this even though you thought I wouldn’t be here?”

“I wanted to feel good. My boyfriend wasn’t going to be home to do it.” You smirk, and he’s the one glaring now.

“I really want to take this stupid skirt and blouse and throw you on the bed, but I made your favorite meal and so it’s gonna have to wait.”

“What a shame.” You joke when he gives you a quick kiss, letting him lead you to the kitchen.

He makes you wait at the table for him to finish preparing everything. You smile watching him dart from one room to the next and back and forth to the kitchen to make sure everything is cooking correctly. You offered to help various times, but he ignored you, telling you just to sit and be pretty while telling you how he planned this whole thing and the shit he had to go through to travel here unnoticed.

When he wasn’t looking and fiddling with the Bluetooth speaker in the kitchen, you snuck away to your room, trying not to look at the over dramatic Valentine’s Day set up he made and just heading straight for the dresser, pulling out a little fabric bag, stuffing it in your bra, before quickly returning to the table before he noticed.

The dinner was amazing, and you insisted on helping him do the dishes, saying you could go to the bedroom a lot faster if he let you help.

Of course, that worked, and he was soon practically dragging you to your bedroom, no shame in being ready to rid you of your office attire.

The room is straight out of a romance movie. Valentine’s Day decorations everywhere, rose petals leading to the bed that form a giant heart across the mattress. There are a few candles lit, both real and fake, but most of the light is coming from the fairy lights you had painstakingly put up when you moved in.

He doesn’t give you much time to admire his work, hugging you from behind the moment you step into your room. His lips attach to your neck while his hands wrap around your middle, teasingly pulling your blouse from your skirt.

“I’ve missed you, pretty girl.” He pants in your ear, “I’ve missed being able to touch you, I’ve missed the sounds you make when I do, I’ve missed this fucking body and the way it reacts to only me.”

You whine when one hand grabs one of your breasts, pulling you closer to him. You rest your head back against his shoulder as his hands continue to wander your body, slowly unbuttoning your blouse. It’s when he gets to the last button that you remember the bag.

“Wait. I have. A present for you.”

“What?”

“It’s in my bra.”

You look up at his confused expression with a grin, your hand pulling the little bag out from your cleavage and handing it to him.

“It’s not much, but I thought you might like it. It’s subtle enough that you can wear it without suspicion.”

His hands leave your body, opening the bag and letting a small bracelet fall into his palm. It’s thin, silver, and has two very small gems on it that you would only notice if you actually looked.

“Are these?”

“Our birthstones? Yes. It’s crazy amounts of cheesy, but I suck at getting gifts, so I don’t know. I thought this would be cute? You don’t have to wear it if you don’t want to. I can try to get a refun—”

You’re cut off by suddenly being turned around and lips crashing against yours. His big hands, still holding the bracelet, cradle your cheeks as he deepens the kiss, backing you towards the bed.

Your body is eased down onto the bed, one of his hands quickly scattering the rose petals from under you, laying you down in the center as he positions himself over you, lips barely leaving yours for more than a second.

“It’s perfect. And beautiful. Thank you, my love.” He peppers your face with his lips, both of you being sent into giggle fits as he sits up, straddling you as you help put it on his wrist.

“I have a matching one, see?” You raise your wrist, shoving off the matching bracelet as he puts it on.

“I didn’t even see it earlier.”

“Exactly. It’s perfect for us.” His fingers wrap around your wrist, bringing it to his lips to kiss where the bracelet sits. He looks down at you, lying underneath him, your blouse unbuttoned, and finally showing him the bra you sent a photo of earlier today. A small groan escapes as he leans forward again, pinning your arm above your head, your other arm naturally following without being touched or told.

“I like the sound of that.” He whispers above your lips.

“What sound?”

“Us.” He kisses you deeply, nipping at your lower lip before leaving a trail of kisses down your throat. “You. Me. Us. You’re mine, and I’m yours. I like it. I love it.”

You don’t fight back the moan he coaxes out of you when he finds the sensitive part of your skin between your neck and shoulder. You arch your back to try to get closer to him, desperate for his touch against your skin.

“Shua.” You whine, feeling his lips curve into a smile.

“What do you need, pretty girl?”

“You.”

“You have me.”

“Touch me, please.”

“Only because you said please.” He lifts himself from you, sitting up and finding the zipper to your skirt, slowly pulling it down.

“You know your hands aren’t actually tied up, right, baby? You’re free to move.”

“No,” you shake your head as you lift your hips. “You get angry when I do.”

He smirks, harshly tugging your skirt down your body, tossing the fabric off the bed.

“Only when you’re being bad. Right now, I just want to love you.” He hums, ripping your stockings and laughing at your gasp.

“I’ll buy you new ones.” He quickly says before you can yell at him.

His hands slowly slide up and down your thighs, gently pushing them open. His eyes dart straight to the wet patch of your matching underwear.

“Baby, you’re soaked.”

“Please.” You rasp, your hands no longer above your head as you try to reach for any part of him. He notices your grabby hands and offers one of his, and you take that perfect opportunity to pull him back on top of you.

“Just fuck me. Please, Shua. I need you inside me, or I’ll lose my mind.” It’s almost embarrassing how fast he reduces you to begging as you bring his lips to yours, molding together perfectly.

“You don’t want me to prep you?” He asks with a hint of nervousness. “I don’t want to hurt you, pretty.”

“I’ll be fine,” you shake your head, completely ignoring one of his hands sliding between you both, “just want you right now, plea- fuck.” You curse when two of his perfectly long fingers move your underwear to the side and immediately start to finger you roughly, his thumb rubbing circles on your clit.

“I’ll give you whatever you want, pretty. Just fall apart for me once first.”

His fingers curl inside you, pressing in exactly the right spots to make you shake underneath him. Part of you thinks it’s embarrassing how fast he can make you come, but then you see how happy and proud it makes him. How that cockiness makes him a little less gentle with you because he knows his pretty girl can and will take it.

A jumbled mess of words and curses escapes your lips as he continues his attack with his fingers.

“Too much, Shua. Too much,” you whimper, but he doesn’t stop, his open mouth hovering above yours, the evil smirk barely showing.

“You can do it, baby. One more for me.” You lift your head up to kiss him, but he leans back just far enough.

“Nuh-uh. Come on, baby. Focus.” He chuckles when you whine again, leaning down to kiss your neck again, his fingers hitting inside you a little harder.

“You said only once first,” your voice raises in pitch, your fingernail digging into his biceps.

“I’m feeling a little greedy tonight.” He rasps against your throat.

“So just one more, and I promise,” your back arches as his fingers somehow get even deeper inside of you. “I promise I’ll give you what you want.”

This orgasm hits harder than the first and without warning. He has to smother your screams with his lips, fingers leaving you, quickly rubbing the tips of his fingers against your clit, coaxing you to continue to squirt. Your hips raise, desperate for his touch to continue as the rest of your body shakes.

“You’re okay, pretty. You’re okay. Come back to me.” His fingers slide back in, slowly pumping as you come back down. “You did so good for me.” He leaves a soft kiss on your forehead.

“Shua,” you pant, grabbing his wrist and pushing it away from you. “Please.”

“Okay, okay.” He chuckles, bringing his fingers to your lips. You lock eyes with him and wordlessly open your mouth, allowing his fingers in, and suck the taste of you off him, your tongue swirling around his digits. His other hand slides under your back to unhook your bra, pulling it off you and tossing it aside.

“Fuck, you’re everything and more, my love.” He murmurs, quickly kissing you after removing his fingers and then shedding his clothes. You reach out for him, letting out a small groan when your arms start feeling heavy.

“Hold on.” He laughs, crawling onto the bed, fist stroking his hardened erection, smearing his precum along the way.

“Can you get on your knees for me, pretty?” You make a fuss, both of you smiling as you flip yourself over. Your arms and knees wobble slightly, and it doesn’t go unnoticed by Joshua. He grabs two pillows and tucks them under your stomach, and hands you another to hold onto.

He leans forward, kissing the spot where your neck meets your back.

“Just relax, baby. Let me take care of you.” He murmurs against your skin, sitting back up when you relax more in the position, the pillows helping keep you up.

He pulls your underwear to the side again, one of your arms reaching back to hold it. You moan at the feel of his tip sliding against your folds, gathering your slick and rubbing against your clit. He doesn’t wait for you to beg for him before he’s sliding in in one thrust.

“Fuck, Shua.” You cry out, the feeling of him stretching you so perfectly adding fuel to the fire burning inside you.

“You take me so well every time, y/n. Such a perfect pussy. And all for me and just me, right?”

“Just you.” You think you say it coherently, but it’s more of a muffled moan into the pillow as you try to raise your ass to meet his hips.

His fingers dig into your hips when you press against him, trying not to come already and letting out a low groan. His grip loosens as his pace picks up, one arm reaching around your waist, the other reaching for your throat, pulling your body up to him.

“You okay, baby?” His lips find your ear, his panting making you clench around him. He hisses in your ear, adding a little pressure to the hold on your neck. “Talk to me, pretty girl.”

“I- ah, I’m okay. Feels so good, Shua.” You whine, reaching behind you to grab his hair, your other hand’s nails digging into the forearm around your waist.

“Gonna come all over my cock, right baby? Give me a third?”

You nod, biting your bottom lip to stop yourself from being too loud.

“Come with me, Shua. Please, baby.”

“Where do you want me?” He growls in your ear, but he already knows your answer, his hips snapping to yours a little harder when you mutter the word inside.

“If that’s what the pretty girl wants.” He grins, kissing the space under your ear.

A few more thrusts and you're warning him of your impending third orgasm.

“Let go.” He whispers, and you do. You lean your head back on his shoulder as he buries his face in your neck, and you clench around him. It takes three more sharp thrusts before he buries himself deep inside you, groaning against your skin as he fills you up, your walls milking him for everything.

You feel yourself go limp in his arms, allowing him to maneuver you to lay back down on the bed. You both groan as he pulls out of you, his fingers quickly taking over to shove any escaping cum back inside.

“You keep that in there for me, so I can taste it later, yeah?” You grunt in response, an exhausted smile forming as tired arms reach for him. He’s quick to give you what you need, laying beside you. You run your fingers through his hair, caressing it softly at the base of his neck and giving him goosebumps.

You adore him. You love him. He’s yours, and you’re his. There is no better feeling than being loved by Joshua.

“I love you.” A whisper escapes your lips, and he hums, his head leaning into your palm.

“I love you, too, pretty girl.”

“I’m still mad that you lied, though. Don’t think you’re getting away with that by being a perfect boyfriend.”

“Oh, I’m aware. And I will do whatever you need me to do to make up for it.” You scoff, pulling your hand away from him.

“Oh, you will. Later though. For now, I want my Valentine to cuddle me.”

“Min-su? He’s a kid. I don’t think that’s appropriate, y/n.”

“Ugh. You’re the worst.” You grumble, flipping over on your side so your back is facing him. He doesn’t hesitate to respond, curling up against you and kissing any part of your face he can reach, making you giggle.

“I’m the best, and you know it. Min-su could only dream to be even as close to the best as I am.”

You don’t respond, not wanting to entertain his bit. You reach behind you for his wrist, the bracelet wrapped around him perfectly and hold his hand close to your chest, enjoying the visual of the two pieces of jewelry connected.

“Happy Valentine’s Day.�� He whispers it in your ear as you fall asleep, the happiest and most in love you’ve ever been.

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bookishblogging · 1 year

Text

THE ILIAD: FOR DUMMIES ☀️ MASTERPOST

just kidding you're not a dummy, you're some hot stuff right there! i will be going through the entire iliad and giving you a general overview, some interesting plot points, additional context, and some other analysis tools to better help you understand the epic!

This post will serve as a table of contents (at the end) to my Iliad posts and a general overview that I will be constantly updating! I am using the Richmond Lattimore translation of the Iliad, alongside my companion book by Malcom M. Wilcock

Before we get into analyzing the actual Iliad, we need to get into some essential questions and context about the book

WHAT IS THE ILIAD:

The Iliad was written by Homer (this is actually debated but we can get into that later) around 750 and 550 B.C.E.

At its core, the story is about heros and humans. It's an Iron Age poem about an event, the Trojan War, that was supposed to have taken place in the Bronze age. The Iliad is considered to be a poem comprised of multiple books, 24 to be exact

This story is only a few days of the tenth and final year of the Greek siege against the city of Troy- this means it relies on the audience already knowing most of the basic details about the Trojan war and the gods themselves (don't sorry, I will provide this for you as we go along)

WHO IS HOMER:

The age old question: who the fuck is Homer?

Literally nothing is known about this dude except that he wrote (or was credited with writing) the Odyssey and the Iliad

People have referenced his writings for EONS. Archilochus, Alcman, Tyrtaeus, Callinus, and even Sappho have referenced the poems of Homer in their own works. These also were popular in fine art in the late 7th century B.C.E.

There is a general consensus that Homer was from Ionia- a territory in western Anatolia or modern day Turkey that was populated by Greeks who spoke the Ionian dialect, aka the birthplace of Greek philosophy. Want more info on Ionia? Click Here!

His descendants were called the Homerids/Homeridae

There is scholarly debate on if he even wrote both the Iliad and the Odyssey, or if he only wrote one, etc etc etc. This is due to some very specific differences in the structure of the words used (like the use of short vowels, and the seemingly unimportant semivowel of the digamma being missing from the epics...yeah it's a lot)

The poems were reproduced ORALLY. This means that the poems were passed down by word of mouth, which if I were to sit and listen to this entire book via a guy singing at me...idk man I think I would leave

All of this to say, we really don't know who Homer is. There's a lot more information about what he could have looked like, if he really did write the Iliad, and a million other things, but I've already talked your ear off and we haven't even gotten into the book yet. If you want more information about Homer, check out my sources at the end of the post!

WAS THE CITY OF TROY REAL:

Yeah. There were nine layers exposed at the site of where Troy was expected to be, and nearly fifty sublayers at the mound of Hisarlik

Troy was a vassal state: meaning it had an obligation to a superior state, which happened to be the Hittite Empire

Troy had a lot more allies than original fighters in the city, meaning they had many language barriers- making the army harder to control than the unified Greek enemy.

THE STYLE OF THE ILIAD:

Cause - Effect - Solution

The poem is concluded with a mirror image of its beginning: an old man ventures to the camp of his enemy in order to ransom his child

The poem foreshadows the death of Achilles in MULTIPLE passages! He knows he is destined to die young if he fights at Troy, and the demise of his lover (don't fight me on this) Patroclus gives us an even more extended foreshadowing of the grief that is to come

When Achilles dies, Thetis (his mom) takes his body from the pyre and takes him to a place called the White Island. It's not clear whether he is immortalized BUT the reference to Achilles funeral in the Odyssey states that Achilles is cremated and his bones are placed in a golden urn along those of Patroclus, and the urn is entombed under a prominent mound (tsoa fans...you're welcome)

This isn't really necessary knowledge but moreso something I think is cool: the backstory from the Iliad of an abducted bride also appears in the Sanskirt epic Ramayana (circa 4th century B.C.E.)

okay now here is the ACTUAL important stuff

Humanity is the center of the universe in the Iliad. Humans motivations and concerns generate action in the poem, while the gods are often reduced to the role of enablers or spectators

The style of the poem collaborates with the vision that the speciousness of this epic means that every thought and gesture, spear cast and threat, intimate conversation and lament CAN be recorded. It gives a consciousness behind the demands of the iliad that these interactions MUST be recorded, this attention to detail is another way of showing centrality and the worth of the human experience (Greek OR Trojan)

The Iliad is ultimately a poem about death, the chief elements that distinguish the mortals from gods are: Death shadows every action, and death is neither abhorred nor celebrated. Instead it crystalizes by means of this one theme, death in battle, the essence of what it means to be human (Life is a struggle each person will always lose, the question is how one acts with that knowledge)

Modern readers and analysis blogs will state that one's inner spirit is somehow the "real" self, however the Iliad assumes the opposite: The psykhai (soul, spirits) of dying heroes fly off to Hades while their autous ("selves") are left behind in the form of dead bodies

Glory is INCREDIBLY important in the iliad, why? If mortals could live forever (like gods) then glory would be useless. It's a commodity to be exchanged, and because of this it has an economic and symbolic reality

Companionship is incredibly important

Pity is also very important, it's the concluding note of the poem. Even the gods feel pity

THE GODS AND THE ILIAD:

The Iliad gains depth by the divine dimension shedding glory on the humans at Troy. The gods are so intensely concerned with warriors and their fates which elevates the mortals to a special plane

Mortals are only separated from gods because they grow old and die

The symbiotic bond of gods and mortals is always see-sawing between adoration and antagonism

Humans who get too close to the gods risk being struck down, case in point, Achilles. He's young, well-made, he's a warrior but also a singer/musician (the only hero to be seen doing such a thing), he looks and acts like Apollo. THEREFORE...it's no coincidence that Apollo is ultimately the god who slays Achilles, just as he did Patroclus

Poetry supplemented or even guided ancient Greek religious interpretation much more than the activity of priests due to the lack of any official religious text. This gave ancient Hellenism a very fluid nature

This was a long post, and it's only the first of many! I will continuously update this with more sources about the Iliad and answer any FAQs that come up! I love classic literature, and as a STEM student I need to entertain my passion somehow lol. There is a table of contents at the top of the post, as well as right here. This will be updated for each book of the Iliad I write about, as well as any supplemental posts I make about certain topics and themes as I go along. I am putting a LOT of work into this series of posts, so let me know your thoughts or anything you'd like me to change/add/etc! Happy reading!

TABLE OF CONTENTS:

(This is empty because this is the only post...more posts coming soon)

Sources/Citations/Additional Material

Homer- Britannica

Homerids- Britannica

Who Is Homer- The British Museum (fuck the British Museum)

Ionia Information- World Encyclopedia

The Hittites- Britannica

Ramayana Overview- British Library

Overview of Greek Mythology- Theoi

The Iliad- Overview via Britannica

Thetis- World Encyclopedia

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clowndotgay · 1 year

Note

Want to know more about Claydolls! AU.

i got a really big (evil) smile on my face when i saw this ask. this is my first AU and thus i have never posted about an AU and do not know how to , really , so i am just going to dump some information

(by the way, "claydolls" was a temporary name two weeks ago, but it seems like its sticking. i stole the name from something else i'm really into. if you recognize what its from you get nine thousand million hundred trillion and thirty six thousand and fifty three cents in dollars.)

claydolls is largely the same as toontown: corporate clash but with a lot of headcanons inserted. it started with a couple headcanons that i felt too weird about having just as headcanons because they're so wildly out there and once i accepted that i can just make stuff not canon compliant it got kinda wild? but, y'know, it's cogs and toons fighting. they're not working at a coffee shop or something.

it revolves around a handful of toons (and cogs) that have an interest in the mechanics of life & the mechanics of death, and the other people that get wrapped up in such interests. it sounds edgier than it is but also its mine so i'm free to be cringe if i want to. a lot of the story is just tropes from other stuff that i love that doesn't conventionally fit into toontown anyways!

but uh, here's characters! the ones that aren't already from the canon!

pre-empting any questions about roxy being 114, toons average life expectancy is solidly past that. he's old, but not that old for a toon!

if you sent this ask because you were curious about what's going on with brian and misty specifically, i can say that the last time brian has been seen by any resistance ranger or c.o.g.s inc employee was early december 113, and the current year is late-august 114. more about that soon i think!!

(yeah, the calendar does operate relative to when cap'n roxy was born, but that's just because it's easy to think about for me this way. i didn't want to make up a random number, because the real actual start point in a whole timeline would be WAY too far back to bother)

i'm gonna post more timeline stuff and stuff with other characters & whatnot when i have the energy to do so! if there is anything u are curious about send an ask!!! i hope i'm able to write/draw/post more about Grin n Roxy, because they're very dear 2 me ! :)

sorry if this post was kind of barebones, but i can't say much until i actually bother to introduce the characters that matter! this was a text wall anyways what am i even apologizing for???? i'm gonna go write up another post introducing two cogs i made very recently...

#ttcc #toontown #claydolls flowergrin #claydolls roxy #me.txt #cdg art #toontown au #claydolls au

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unwelcome-ozian · 1 year

Note

Hi. When you get the chance, do you mind linking resources on articles detailing at least some of the... less-than-good things Freemasons have done? Other than the. William Morgan stuff. I mean more like in this post (https://www.tumblr.com/unwelcome-ozian/173401786219/hi-there-its-star-anon-again-sorry-i-meant-it-in?source=share) where you say "numerous reports" -- do you happen to have any of those on hand? I know it's been a while since that post was made, but it would help immensely. Thank you so much.

Hello. Oz has listed some of the reports of abuse in the past (here). Though not all of them directly refer to sex-rituals, there is language of sexual abuse involved. I have included links referencing those articles and have included two additional articles at the end. I have also included a link to a survivor testimony. There are also various survivor reports that we've heard through interactions with survivors that are not in the form of articles. Known forms of Masonic programming within survivor systems is also evidence of “less than good things Freemasons have done”. Not everyone involved in Freemasonry is aware of these kinds of abuses.

There was the Waterhouse report regarding children’s homes that involved abuse by masons.

link

Here are some news stories of Freemasons and sexual abuse:

Jones v. Masonic Home of California (Covina, CA) Child sex abuse verdictMasonic Homes of California Held Liable for Childhood Sexual Abuse For Second Time - More Than $12.5 Million in Damages Awarded, Including Punitive Damages

On Tuesday, July 24, 2007, a Pomona jury found Masonic Homes of California liable for more than $12.5 million in damages to three adult-male victims who were sexually abused while they were children residing in the Masonic Home for Children in Covina. The award quickly followed the jury’s unanimous findings that Masonic Homes of California knew or had reason to know that Wayne Rose, now of Newport Beach, California, was committing unlawful childhood sexual abuse, yet failed to take any reasonable steps to prevent further abuse of the plaintiffs. These three plaintiffs were the second trial group out of fourteen total plaintiffs who claim they were sexually abused by Masonic Homes of California’s employees and agents while they resided in the Masonic Home for Children in Covina from the late 1960s through the 1990s. The plaintiffs in the first trial in October, 2006, 7 year old girls at the time of the abuse in the late 1960s, were awarded more than $3.5 million dollars by a jury that unanimously found Masonic Home knew or had reason to know the Home’s agents or employees were molesting child residents. Nine of the remaining plaintiffs’ cases against Masonic Homes of California are set for trial through July, 2008. David N. Bigelow and Graham B. LippSmith of Girardi | Keese represented the plaintiffs in this and the previous trial. They also represent the remaining plaintiffs in the upcoming trials against Masonic Homes of California.

link

Sex-abuse settlements may lead Masonic school to close

DALLAS (AP) — A financial crisis caused in part by at least $6.9 million paid to settle lawsuits alleging sex abuse at the Masonic Grand Lodge of Texas’ Masonic Home and School has led to a convention this weekend where masons will decide the school’s fate. Bickle’s lawsuit involved at least a dozen other students, his former attorney said. Stewart left the school shortly before Bickle’s lawsuit was settled. The lawsuit alleged that school and Masons leaders “had a significant history of documented child sexual abuse at their facility dating as far back as the 1970s” and refused to seek criminal charges “in every confirmed instance of sexual abuse/assault of children residing at the Masonic Home.”

link

Masonic Camp for Children

John Shirley was arrested in 1997 for photographing teens “mooning” (showing their buttocks) his camera at a Masonic camp. Instead of removing Shirley from his voluntary position as a DeMolay Chapter Dad, national and state DeMolay officials investigated the complaints and concluded Shirley had used “bad judgment.” In 1998, at least 11 boys in his DeMolay Chapter told police Shirley gave them alcohol and drugs, fondled them or had sex with them. Most of the sex-related activities happened over three years. Shirley, a Mason aged 48 at the time of conviction, was sentenced to life imprisonment being found guilty on 27 of 36 felony child sex abuse charges. He was also convicted of 13 misdemeanors, including charges he contributed to the delinquency of minors.

link

Investigation of abuse by Royal Order of Jesters

link

Case Study

link

Presentation by Kristin Constance (survivor) at 2012 S.M.A.R.T. Conference

link

~Josha

#answers to questions #freemasons #organized abuse #masons #Josha

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ledenews · 7 months

Link

#Charleston #Day60 #ErikkaStorch #House #Senate #WestVirginia #WVLegislature

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bestshirtcanbuy · 2 years

Text

Elizabeth Holmes sentenced to more than 11 years in prison for fraud

lizabeth Holmes was sentenced to more than 11 years in prison on Friday following her conviction in January for defrauding investors while running thefailed blood testing startupTheranos.

Judge Edward Davila imposed a sentence of 11 years and three months in prison, with another three years of supervision after Holmes is released. The sentence also includes a fine of $400, or $100 for each count of fraud. Restitution will be set at a later date. Holmes was ordered to turn herself into custody on April 27, 2023. She is expected to appeal her conviction.

Holmes, who wasfound guilty in January on four charges of defrauding investors, faced up to 20 years in prison as well as a fine of $250,000 plus restitution for each count.

Lawyers for the government asked for a 15-year prison term, as well as probation and restitution, while Holmes’ probation officer pushed for a nine-year term. Holmes’ defense team asked Davila, who presided over her case, to sentence her to up to 18 months of incarceration followed by probation and community service.

Before the sentencing was announced, a tearful Holmes spoke to the court in San Jose, California. “I loved Theranos. It was my life’s work,” she said. “The people I tried to get involved with Theranos were the people I loved and respected the most. I am devastated by my failings.”

Elizabeth Holmes, the founder of failed blood testing startup Theranos who was convicted of fraud earlier this year, was sentenced today by a judge in court in San Jose, California. She is shown here making a statement to the judge before the sentencing.

She also apologized to the employees, investors and patients of Theranos. “I’m so, so sorry. I gave everything I had to build our company and to save our company,” she said. “I regret my failings with every cell in my body.”

“The judge imposed a powerful sentence that confirms that fraud cannot masquerade as innovation in Silicon Valley,” said George Demos, a former SEC enforcement attorney and adjunct law professor at UC Davis. “When given the opportunity to speak, Elizabeth Holmes made a statement that she takes responsibility for Theranos but did not say she takes responsibility for the fraud.”

In arguments before the judge on Friday over her sentence, Kevin Downey, one of Holmes’ lawyers, said that unlike other defendants in corporate fraud cases, the Theranos founder did not express greed by cashing out shares or spending money on “yachts and planes.” Instead, the money was “used to build medical technology.”

The rise and fall of Elizabeth Holmes: A timeline

Federal prosecutor Jeffrey Schenk pointed out that Holmes did gain fame, admiration, and a lifestyle from the fraud, even if she did not make financial gains. “These still are benefits she’s receiving,” he said.

Friday’s sentencing hearing caps off Holmes’ stunning downfall. Once hailed as a tech industry icon for her company’s promises to test for a range of conditions with just a few drops of blood, she is now the rare tech founder to be convicted and face prison time for her company’s missteps.

Holmes, now 38,started Theranos in 2003 at the age of 19and soon thereafter dropped out of Stanford University to pursue the company full-time. After a decade under the radar, Holmes began courting the press with claims that Theranos had invented technology that could accurately and reliably test for a range of conditions using just a few drops of blood taken from a finger prick.

Theranos raised $945 million from an impressive list of investors, including media mogul Rupert Murdoch, Oracle founder Larry Ellison, Walmart’s Walton family and the billionaire family of former Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos. At its peak, Theranos was valued at $9 billion, making Holmes a billionaire on paper. She was lauded on magazine covers, frequently wearing a signature black turtleneck that invited comparisons to late Apple CEO Steve Jobs. (She has not worn that look in the courtroom.)

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The companybegan to unravelafter a Wall Street Journal investigation in 2015 found the company had only ever performed roughly a dozen of the hundreds of tests it offered using its proprietary blood testing device, and with questionable accuracy. Instead, Theranos was relying on third-party manufactured devices from traditional blood testing companies.

In 2016, Theranos voided two years of blood test results. In 2018, Holmes and Theranos settled“massive fraud” chargeswith the Securities and Exchange Commission, but did not admit to or deny any of the allegations as part of the deal.Theranos dissolved soon after.

Former Theranos COO is guilty of federal fraud

In her trial, Holmes alleged she was in the midst of a decade-long abusive relationship with her then-boyfriend and Theranos COO Ramesh “Sunny” Balwani while running the company. Balwani, she alleged, tried to control nearly every aspect of her life, including disciplining her eating, her voice and her image, and isolating her from others. (Balwani’s attorneys denied her claims.)

In July, Balwaniwas found guilty on all 12 chargesin a separate trial and faces the same potential maximum prison time as her. Balwani is scheduled to be sentenced on December 7.

“The effects of Holmes and Balwani’s fraudulent conduct were far-reaching and severe,” federal prosecutors wrote in a November court filing regarding Holmes’ sentencing. “Dozens of investors lost over $700 million and numerous patients received unreliable or wholly inaccurate medical information from Theranos’ flawed tests, placing those patients’ health at serious risk.”

More than 100 people wrote letters in support of Holmes to Davila, asking for leniency in her sentencing. The list includes Holmes’ partner, Billy Evans, many members of Holmes’ and Evans’ families, early Theranos investor Tim Draper, and Sen. Cory Booker. Booker described meeting her at a dinner years before she was charged and bonding over the fact that they were both vegans with nothing to eat but a bag of almonds, which they shared.

“I still believe that she holds onto the hope that she can make contributions to the lives of others, and that she can, despite mistakes, make the world a better place,” Booker wrote, noting that he continues to consider her a friend.

Ahead of the hearing, there were also questions over how Holmes’ sentencing could be complicated by developments in her life after stepping down from Theranos. Holmes and her partner, Evans, who met in 2017, have a young son. Holmes is also pregnant, as confirmed by recent court filings and her most recent court appearance in mid-October.

Mark MacDougall, a white-collar defense lawyer and former federal prosecutor, told CNN Business before the hearing that the fact that Holmes has a young child could impact how she is sentenced.

“I don’t know how it can’t, just because judges are human,” he said.

MacDougall also said he doesn’t see what a long prison sentence accomplishes. “Elizabeth Holmes is never going to run a big company again,” he said. “She’s never going to be in a position to have something like this happen again.”

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eyeswithoutafqce · 3 years

Text

First Date Jitters

parings: george harrison x reader (female reader)

request: ‘“Sorry…your hair was in your face…I thought i should move it so you could see better” with george please <3’

warnings: none!

summary: You’d been friends with George for as long as you can remember, but how long had you been in love with him, too?

oh my god HI HELLO i am so sorry it has been nine million years guys i’ve been so insanely busy lately & my mental health is hitting a WEEEEEE BOOM moment but it’s okay!! i am managing to recover with some time to myself & finally got the chance to finish this req :) WHICH I CANT FIND IN MY ASK BOX I LOST IT IM SO SORRY ANON BUT HERE U GO I HOPE YOU ENJOY MWAH <3333 *kiss on the forehead & also big hug*

First date jitters were always the worst. You took every nausea pill you could find in your medicine cabinet, but to no avail, you found yourself sick in the stomach over the beautiful boy you were planning on meeting at the coffee shop down the street.

You knew George since you were primary school children, dancing on the playground together, arm in arm, to some nursery rhyme the kids had made up on the schoolyard. George was a sweet, fang-toothed, curious and funny boy who was no longer the little boy you knew. George was part of The Beatles now, the most popular band in what seemed to be all of the world now. He was also your best friend, who you had been in love with for over fifteen years. This was a dream come true for you! How could you possibly be nervous?

Well, you were nervous because you knew this man was an absolute sensation. Girls flocked to his sides on every street corner like birds to leftover chips. Girls prettier than you, nicer than you, softer than you. You were simply afraid of being replaced. And of course, causing an uproar. What if something happened to George because a crazy fan didn’t like you? You gave yourself a pass for being nervous.

But nonetheless, you slipped on your prettiest pair of bellbottoms (the ones with the embroidered flowers on the bottom) and a tie-up pink top, doodled up your hair and makeup and you were off. You released a shaky breath as you locked the door behind you, feeling your legs carry you down the street. You focused your eyes on the deep blue sky and made your way to the coffee shop.

Arriving at the small shop was just as normal, saying hi to all your favorite employees and stealing your favorite table by the window. You sat patiently, your leg bouncing nervously as you waited silently for your best friend (now boyfriend?) to arrive. Softly, you picked at your fingernails.

A *Ding!* caught your attention as you looked to the door, watching George walk in the shop. Your breath caught in your throat as he looked around for you, smiling when he caught your eyes. You smiled in return and waved him over.

“Fancy seeing you here.” He joked, pulling out his chair and maintaining eye contact. You couldn’t bring yourself to look away, as his deep brown eyes have been haunting you for years, his every breath a lingering thought on your mind from your daily wake. You stared at him but only for a moment, memories of the two of you flooding in your mind and shown in your eyes and ears as you could hear George’s giggles from when you ding-dong-ditched your awful next door neighbor as children. Staring into his eyes, you could practically feel your own melting into his, feeling the two of you fuse together. You smiled softly. Maybe this wouldn’t be so nerve-wracking after all.

“I could say the same about you.” You smiled, your voice quiet and soft. “How have you been, George? I’ve missed you.”

George smiled at your words, his face tinged slightly pink. His eyes focus now on his hands, which are tight together resting on the table. You stare at them with him, they look soft, his fingertips worn from guitar strings. He laughed quietly, focusing his eyes back on your face.

“I’ve been awfully busy, y/n. I’m sure you can believe it.” George giggled, your own laugh followed. You couldn’t even possibly imagine how terribly busy and overwhelmed he could be, considering he was a beatle.

“Oh of course..” you trailed off, smiling at him. You stared at the small piece of hair hanging in his eyes as he kept his eyes on his coffee, and your instincts took over. With gentle hands, you brushed the hair from his face and held your hand there gently, savouring the feeling of his soft skin after so long. Pulling your hand away, you blushed, wrapping your hands around your coffee.

“Sorry … your hair was in your face… thought I should move it so I could see you better.” You whispered quietly, avoiding George’s eyes. Suddenly, you felt a gentle calloused hand tugging your fingers away from your drink. George’s hand held yours softly as he rubbed over your fingers.

“Your hand looked heavy, I thought I should hold it for you so you can focus better.” George slyly whispered in return. You giggled as you faced him. George’s warm brown eyes met your own, feeling your energies exchange into each other’s fingertips. You stared into his soft eyes, letting the internal magnets pull you together as your pink-painted lips met George’s slightly-chapped, perfectly sitting lips. Fireworks erupted through you as your lips moved in sync, closing your eyes in fear of the moment disappearing.

George pulled back gently, staring into your eyes and running his hands over your fingers wordlessly as you came down from your high. You smiled at his pink lips.

“What do you say we do this forever, eh?” George smiled in return. “Y/n, would you like to be my girlfriend?”

Your heart began to beat rapidly, seemingly being able to not refuse the sweetest boy in front of you. Your dreams had come true.

“Yes, I’d love to.” You smiled, watching a blush take over George’s cheeks. Your dreams really had come true.

131 notes · View notes

babymetaldoll · 3 years

Text

DIWK: Chapter eleven: "Can't get you off my mind"

|Word count: 9,7K

Summary: Reader struggles with her feelings for Spencer and tries to work with Seaver. Neither of those things works. Spencer's headaches are getting worse. Also, it's Anderson's birthday! Things are getting a little more complicated.

Warnings: Hardcore fools in love. It's getting painful to watch. Spoilers of Criminal Minds Season 6 Episode 11. 25 to life. Cursing, and frustration. Alcohol consumption. Assholes being blind.

A/N: Please don't hate me! but these two are just so blind, it hurts!

Masterlist

.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.

Spencer's point of view

Psychotics in a break always evolve. Well, I was psychotic at that minute of my life, but the only things evolving were my migraines. They were driving me insane. I could feel them taking over my life, my head, my sanity. I could feel my good judgment slipping through my fingers every day, especially since (Y/N) had started acting strange.

It wasn't like she had stopped talking to me or hanging out with me. But I could feel a void growing between us every day. And it was driving me insane. I couldn't understand where it had come from. I just knew it was eating me alive.

Morgan was having a bad day. One really bad day. The man he had vouched for parole had just murdered a man after nearly 70 hours of freedom, and now the team was trying to solve the whole case. Don Sanderson claimed he had been framed guilty of the murder of his wife and baby daughter, but after 25 years in prison, the first thing he did as a free man was to murder someone else.

It made no sense.

We had visited the murder scene. Hotch was still on a leave, so it was just Prentiss, (Y/N), Morgan, Rossi, Seaver, and I. Emily was in full "training agent's duty," walking Seaver through every step of the procedure, which was very nice of her. It was her first case after the incident in New Mexico, and she was eager to do better work than that time. She was nearly jumping all over the place, taking notes.

I talked with Garcia on the phone because he was worried about Morgan, and then I walked to (Y/N), who kept a safe distance from Emily and Seaver.

- "The bullets were in the other room, but the gun is right here,"- I said as I looked around the room. (Y/N) turned to me, ready to speak her mind, but Ashley spoke first, which annoyed her beyond belief.

- "Maybe killing him was an accident."

I looked at my best friend as Prentiss and Ashley continued talking. She just crossed her arms and walked around the room. She surely wasn't dealing well with having Seaver around. I wanted to ask her something, anything, but nothing came to mind.

- "Sanderson was out of prison for what, Reid?"- I answered Emily's question but didn't even turn to look at her. My eyes were following (Y/N), moving around that room.

- "At the time of the murder, 51 hours."

- "He's free for 2 days and change? What's the big hurry to find this guy?"

- "Are you ok?"- I whispered and stood next to (Y/N) as Prentiss and Ashley kept analyzing the scene.

- "Yeah, just tired."

- "Do you wanna have dinner with me tonight? I didn't see you this weekend, and I thought we could do a movie night."

(Y/N) took her time to answer, but finally, after a moment, she nodded and agreed.

- "Movie night sounds nice."

- "Great, ‘cos I rented your favorites."- I might have sounded more excited than I should, but I had really missed her those days, and I may or may not have watched and read Pride and Prejudice a couple of times.

- "Did you? Really?"

- "Yes, I was hoping to spend some time with you."

- "Are you coming, Spence?"- Seaver interrupted us and looked from the door- "Rossi called. They are interviewing Sanderson at the BAU."

- "Yeah, we are coming,"- I answered and looked away. (Y/N) shook her head and walked outside in silence the second Prentiss called my name, and I couldn't follow her. Which, I guess, was a good thing.

- "Is everything ok?"- Emily stayed behind with me. She raised an eyebrow, watching (Y/N) walking out of the room as Ashley waited for us by the door.

- "Yes?"- my answer came more as a question because I honestly didn't know what to say- "Everything is ok, Emily."

- "Correct me if I'm wrong, but I have the feeling (Y/N) isn't thrilled to have agent Seaver around."- I almost chuckled at her words and just nodded.

- "It's not like she has made it hard to tell. She literally yelled at her at the jet."

- "Is she mad at me because I am supervising her training?"

- "I don't know. I don't think so… she hasn't told me so. Well, she hasn't talked to me much lately."

- "Why? Did you fight?"- Prentiss wide opened her eyes and moved a little closer to me, trying to read my expressions.

- "No, I don't know what's going on. She just… we…"- I couldn't find the right words to explain my mind, and I think Prentiss knew it, ‘cos she didn't push me.

- "You should talk to her."

- "Yeah, we are going out tonight."

- "You have a date?"- Ashley walked over and asked me with a short smile. I cleared my throat and shook my head right away.

- "No, just meeting with a friend."

- "Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to intrude,"- Seaver blushed and looked at her shoes. Prentiss smiled, probably reading something I wasn't seeing.

- "Come on, Rossi is probably waiting for us at the BAU, and I'm guessing Morgan is not in a good mood."

For the rest of the day, I tried to find a moment alone with (Y/N). I needed to talk about what was going on. But it was impossible. We worked late, rereading the original case files, trying to find something that might help us help Sanderson. But it was frustrating and nearly impossible.

So around nine, we decided to call it a day and go home.

- "Are you in the mood for Chinese?"- I looked at (Y/N), gathering all the things as I stood next to her desk- I thought maybe we could get some take-out from that place you love on our way home.

- "Sounds nice. What are we watching?"

- "Pride and Prejudice, Coraline, maybe Beetlejuice. You pick, I've got all your favorites,"- (Y/N) narrowed her eyes, looking at me in silence- "What?"

- "So you rented movies ‘cos you wanted to hang out with me?"

- "Yes."

- "You usually don't rent movies. You rent documentaries."

- "Yes, but I wanted to do something different this time. I told you I missed you."

(Y/N) blushed as she stood in front of me, biting the inner part of her cheek, trying not to smile. I looked at her, nearly beaming, excited to see her reaction. I had felt so scared to lose her, feeling her pushing away from me. It was a balm watching her so happy, and just because I missed her.

- "I love Pride and Prejudice,"- Ashley said from her desk- "I've read that book so many times, I think I can recite it."

I looked at her and nodded with an awkward smile. I knew she was just trying to be nice ‘cos she was new at the BAU, and she was also trying to be nicer to (Y/N), to get on her good side. But that wasn't the way to get to her. Maybe I had to talk to Seaver and explain that my best friend is a special woman.

Neither of us answered her comment. We just stood there, looking at her in silence, until Anderson walked over and waved.

- "Hey agents, before you go, I wanted to tell you, this Friday I'm celebrating my birthday, and I'd love to have you over."

- "Of course, Sonny!"- (Y/N) wide opened her eyes and clapped. She had called him "Sonny" since they sang "I got you babe" by Sonny and Cher in the karaoke at the Christmas party the year before.

- "Happy birthday, Anderson!"- Derek waved.

- "Thank you! We'll gather at a bar nearby. I'll text you the address."

- "We wouldn't miss it for the world,"- Prentiss added and smiled- "Do you mind if we tell JJ and Garcia?"

- "Please do! I haven't seen JJ since she left, and it would be amazing to have her over. You too, agent Seaver."

- "Thank you!"- Ashley smiled and nodded- "Count me in."

I could feel (Y/N)'s eyes rolling, annoyed, even when I wasn't even looking at her at that minute. I grabbed my bag and my coat and held her hand.

- "Bye, guys! See you tomorrow!"- that was all I said as I dragged her out of the bullpen. Emily waved at us, and Derek cut me an evil grin I could decode easily. I just ignored him and turned to the door.

- "Have fun, pretty girl!!"- Morgan chuckled at his own words, and (Y/N) just smiled and winked. Why? Probably to show him she didn't care about all his teasing, ‘cos nothing was ever going to happen between us.

(Y/N)'s point of view

It might have been childish, but I had to take advantage of Morgan's innuendo just to show Seaver things could happen between Spencer and me. It had been immature and silly, but I just felt like I needed to do it. It was like a stupid animal instinct that forced me to mark my territory.

I shouldn't have done it. Spencer wasn't mine. Not even close. And I had to stop being jealous of Seaver. If he didn't want me, he had the right to be with anyone else. But just the thought of Spencer being with someone, anyone, made me feel sick in my stomach. I hated being in love with him. I honestly did, ‘cos I didn't want to ruin our friendship with useless feelings. Spencer wasn't in love with me. He was just my friend. My very thoughtful, cute, adorable, and lovable best friend.

I was fucked. Completely and utterly fucked. Even that second, sitting on that couch with Spencer, I couldn't focus on the movie. I pretended, but I didn't even pay attention to it. All I could think of was how warm his body felt sitting next to me, like a gigantic magnet that called for me. I could simply just move my hand and intertwined his fingers with mine. Or lean in closer, rest my head on his shoulder, feel how he wraps an arm around me, and melt in his embrace, like I had done a million times before.

But I couldn't. I had to stop that daydream of a domestic and romantic life with Spencer. It wasn't healthy. It wasn't sane. But most of all: I wasn't real. And I was never going to move forward in life if I kept thinking those movie nights meant something.

- "More popcorn?- Spencer handed me the bowl, and I shook my head- "You have been awfully quiet considering we are watching Coraline."

- "Well, we are supposed to watch the movie in silence,"- I answered and didn't take my eyes from the screen.

- "You have never done that."

- "Maybe I wanted to give it a try."

I grabbed a bunch of popcorn just to keep myself busy. I could feel Spencer's eyes on me, and it was killing me ‘cos I knew I didn't have to look at him. If I did, I wasn't sure how I would react. I was overthinking everything and anything you might think of.

- "Are you ok?"

- "Yeah. Sure."

No, I wasn't.

- "(Y/N), can you look at me?"- Spencer paused the movie and turned to me. I hesitated, thinking my best friend is an amazing profiler, and I didn't want him to know how I felt about him ‘cos it didn't want to ruin our friendship.

After a few seconds, I moved on the couch and raised an eyebrow. His brown eyes stared into mine in silence for a moment, trying to read me.

- "What is going on?"

- "Nothing,"- I lied and frowned- "Why are you so obsessed with the idea something is going on?"

- "‘Cos I have this… feeling."

- "You got a feeling?"- I chuckled, trying to be funny but failing completely. In the end, I just stared into his eyes for what seemed to be a million years but were, in fact, just a few seconds.

- "Are we ok?"

- "Of course, we are, Spencer."

- "You never call me that"- he frowned immediately, almost hurt.

- "What?"

- "You just call me Spencer when we are on a case, and there are people around us. But when we are home, I'm never Spencer to you."

"When we are home." That killed me. I hadn't realized how badly I wanted that to be our home, to have a life with Spencer.

I was in love with my best friend. I was spending every single hour of every single day of my life with him. That wasn't right! If I knew he didn't have feelings for me, why was I doing that to myself?

- "(Y/N)?"- Spencer's voice took me from my thoughts. He looked so worried I didn't know how to convince him there wasn't anything wrong, considering it felt like everything was wrong.

- "What is it?"

- "Please tell me what's wrong."

- "I told you, nothing is wrong. I just called you Spencer. That's your name. It's a lovely name. I had never met someone called Spencer ever before in my entire life. You just called me (Y/N), not pumpkin, cupcake, chipmunk, or ma chère,"- he sighed, frustrated and maybe a little annoyed.

- "Nothing is wrong, honey. I'm really ok. Just tired, maybe feeling a little invaded with Seaver in the team"- I knew he knew I hated her, so I had to blame her in a way.

- "Why?"

- "You know I'm not her fan... I hate working with her,"- I kind of chuckled at my own words because I was trying to make a joke out of my awful reality.

- "It's just for a few weeks,"- he tried to reassure me, probably to ease my mood, but the truth was I hated how it always felt like he was defending her.

- "One week, one day, it's the same torture,"- I shook my head and turned to the screen again.

- "Don't be dramatic."

- "I'm not dramatic! I just hate how she is always playing the victim ‘cos her father is a serial killer. She is clearly overcompensating! Besides, we have all gone through bad shit in our lives, and no one is using it as a tool to get things in life."

- "I don't think that's what she is doing."

- "No? Do you think she belongs at the BAU? She is a trainee agent who almost got killed in her first assignment. She works hard, and she is not stupid, I give you that. But she is not top of her class. She is not there ‘cos she is the brightest. She is there ‘cos Rossi, Hotch, and probably Prentiss felt bad for her after what happened and decided to let her hang around and learn something for a while. If you ask me, I think there are more qualified trainee agents we could use in the team, but Seaver played her "my father was a serial killer" card and got the job. And who knows how many times she had done it before, and how many times she will use it again."

Ok, that may or may not have been too hard, but it was exactly how I felt. There was a deep silence in Spencer's apartment. The movie was still paused, and after my speech, Spencer just looked at me with wide-opened eyes. I just sighed and regretted every word that had left my lips ‘cos they made me sound bitter and shallow. But at least they didn't tell him the truth: that I was jealous of the thought Seaver might get his attention. Scared that he could look at her the way he had never looked at me. Just to imagine I could bump into them kissing terrified me.

- "Maybe I should just go home,"- I whispered and tried to stand up, but Spencer grabbed my arm and pulled me back onto the couch.

- "No, please. Stay,"- his voice was a whisper but still managed to shake me.

- "I don't wanna argue with you, honey,"- I thought I would speak too loud, but no, I actually murmured, matching his tone of voice.

- "We don't have to talk about Seaver anymore. Just watch the movie with me. You love this movie."

- "You love this book,"- I added and looked at him. He smiled. God, that smile is going to be the end of me.

- "It's just so dark! But it has such a good message."

- "Not all nice people are good people?"- I just spoke about what the book had meant to me ever since I was a little girl, and Spencer analyzed the whole plot again in less than a minute.

- "I was going to say overcoming your fears, but I like your analysis the most."

- "Of course, you do, ‘cos it's better,"- I teased and stuck out my tongue to him. Spencer just stared at me and nodded.

- "You might be right. Yours is much better,"- he kept his eyes on me for a few more seconds and continued smiling until he snapped from his thoughts- "More tea, ma chère?"

- "No, honey, thank you. I'm good."

I cut him a quick smile and sat back on the couch, trying to relax. I knew it was going to be impossible, but I honestly didn't want to leave. I wanted to be with him. I had stayed home alone the whole weekend, hidden underneath a pile of blankets, in something that looked pretty much like a fort, according to Lu's words. She had stayed with me Saturday night ‘cos I told her I needed a girl's night. It was my poor attempt to stay away from Reid, and she was happy to help.

Ok, Lu didn't know I wanted to stay away from Reid. I just told her I needed a girl's night. I really didn't want to deal with all her questions. You have the right to avoid dealing with your feelings from time to time if you can. And I told Spencer Lu wasn't feeling so good, so I wanted to spend some time with her. He sounded disappointed ‘cos he was making plans for our weekend off but understood completely I needed to be with my friend.

See? Spencer made it so easy falling in love with him! He was so thoughtful it freaking hurt!

I couldn't fight the feeling anymore and rested my head on his shoulder. It felt he was waiting for me to make that move, ‘cos in a few seconds, his arm was wrapped around me protectively.

- "I know Lu needed you, but you missed a whole weekend of cuddling on this couch watching your favorite movies with me,"- Spencer whispered, bumping his head carefully against mine. I bit my lips and smiled, not taking my eyes away from the screen.

- "We do this pretty often"- that was all I could answer.

- "At least once a week for the last… thirteen-month two weeks, and… four days."

- "I love how precise you can be when it comes to our friendship, honey."

Calling it a friendship hurt me at that point, but it was what it was. Spencer chuckled and just nodded. We enjoyed our company in silence for a moment. His fingers drawing figures on my arm and my head resting on his shoulder, letting his smell invade me. It was heaven.

We were finally watching the movie… though what I really wanted was to watch a movie with Spencer instead of actually watching it. But that was the nature of our relationship. We were friends. Friends don't watch movies.

- "No way,"- I argued when his cellphone rang and interrupted our moment- "Please tell me we don't have a case."

- "We don't,"- he quickly answered and picked up the phone- "Hello? Hi… it's ok, tell me"- he didn't stand up or moved from me. He kept holding me tight against his body and finished his call by simply saying.

- "We can meet tomorrow at seven at work. I can help you with your test."- I hated those words immediately.

- "It's not a problem, see you tomorrow. Bye."

I was afraid to ask ‘cos I knew the answer. The knot on my stomach was the fair warning of what had just happened. That bitch had ruined our moment yet again.

- "What are you doing tomorrow at seven?"- I did my best to sound as casual as possible, but I knew that conversation might not end well. He hesitated. I could nearly hear his neurons struggling to find the correct answer to that question. Until he simply whispered:

- "Please don't get mad."

- "Why would I?"

- "‘Cos Ashley just called to ask me to help her study for a test…"

I took a deep breath and held it for a few seconds, doing my best to calm myself down at least a little before speaking.

- "I'm not mad, Spencer,"- I tried to lie as smoothly as possible. I even cut him a smile and looked into his hazel and confused eyes.

- "I know you don't like her, but I had offered to help in case she needed any… what?"

- "I'm not mad, really,"- I smiled again and turned to the screen- "We said we were not going to argue, and besides, she just called to ask you for help. That's not something to be mad about, right?"

Technically I wasn't mad. I was beyond furious.

- "Are you sure?"- he narrowed his eyes, baffled- "Not that I want you to be mad or something, but we just argued over her, and you said you felt invaded by her… so…"

- "Yes, but I don't wanna argue anymore. I don't want you to think I hate Seaver because I don't. And most of all, I don't want her to be the reason we fight. I don't wanna fight with you. Ever."

Spencer sighed, relieved, and smiled, pleased with my answer.

Spencer's point of view

Something felt off the following day when I walked into the bullpen and saw Ashley waiting for me by my desk with two cups of coffee. (Y/N) had said everything was ok, and I decided I wanted to believe her. But I had an awful feeling about everything that was going on.

- "Hi!"- Ashley smiled and handed me a cup- "Figured you might appreciate one of these for making you wake up earlier."

- "Thank you"- I smiled awkwardly and held the cup- "Are you ready?"

- "Yes, I brought all the notes from the class and my books…"- she set them on her desk and giggled as I went through her notes, sipping my cup- "I feel back in high school…"

- "Why?"

- "I wasn't the best student back then, and I always had to ask my classmates for help,"- I couldn't help but think of something (Y/N) had said the night before.

- "And are you a good student at the academy?"

- "Yes, I think. I'm not in the top three of my class, but I have good grades. I'm just not… a genius, like you."

Her eyes lingered on my face, and her cheeks blushed after a few seconds. I frowned, not getting why she was embarrassed. Was it just ‘cos she didn't have the same honorifics as I did?

- "I don't believe that intelligence can be accurately quantified,"- I simply answered, remembering how many times in my life I had ever said something like that. Way too many, to be honest.

It was hard to focus on the subject when Seaver kept asking me personal questions every five minutes. She seemed more interested in knowing about my childhood in Las Vegas than learning about profiling and victimology.

- "Good morning, kids!"- I turned around and smiled at Morgan, so glad to see him I might have actually felt a little relieved- "What are you doing here so early?"

- "Hey! I was just helping Ashley with her test,"- I stood up and walked from her desk over his- "And about you?"

- "I have a meeting with Strauss in a while, and Sanderson's case didn't let me sleep. It was better to come here and start working than to keep on rolling on my bed. But I'm glad you are here. Wanna help me go through a few extra files?"

- "Of course!"- I left the notes I was holding on the closest desk and walked with Morgan to the conference room.

I considered our session with Seaver finished, mostly ‘cos for the last ten minutes, she had been asking about me. What I liked doing outside the BAU, favorite bands, hobbies, anything. I answered her questions and kept trying to push her to study. I didn't want her to blame me if she failed her test.

- "Hey, kid."- Morgan whispered after a few minutes and took a look around, just to make sure no one else was near. I looked at him confused ‘cos he was never that careful to say anything in the office.

- "Is everything ok?"

- "Yes?"- I answered, though it sounded like a question ‘cos I wasn't sure what he was talking about.

- "Are you excited to have Seaver on the team for the next month?"- I shrugged and kept reading the file in my hands- "Come on, Reid. She is clearly sweet to you."

- "I don't know what you are talking about."

- "She has a crush on you, kid."

- "No, she doesn't!"

- "Come on! Are you blind?"- I stared at Morgan, not getting what he was talking about- "Man, Seaver gives you loving eyes even when we are on the field!"

- "She does not!"- I knew I was blushing. I hated those kinds of conversations, and Morgan always made me feel awkward when he hinted I should flirt with a girl or just talk to them.

- "And I would appreciate it if you didn't say anything like that ever again."

- "What's the matter, kid? You don't think she is pretty?"

- "I don't look at her that way!"- I buried my head in a file and tried not to notice how he scanned my whole face, looking for micro expressions.

- "I see. Are you afraid (Y/N) might get jealous?"- Morgan chuckled at his words and tapped on my back a few times, making me flinch- "Relax, man. I'm just kidding!"

- "I don't like those jokes, Derek. Really."

Morgan kept his eyes on me a little longer and nodded. I did my best not to show how I really felt, but somehow, I failed miserably.

- "You know, kid, it would be much easier if you just told (Y/N) how you feel about her,"- Derek's voice was soft and even more concerned than I thought he could be. I nearly shook when I heard him, so I failed my mission of remaining stoic.

- "Reid, it's ok. There's nothing wrong with having feelings for her."

- "I don't… like talking about this,"- I whispered and closed the file- "Can we just focus on work, please?"- Derek nodded and stayed quiet for a few seconds. But I knew he wasn't done yet.

- "Reid, listen. I know you are not really fond of sharing how you feel with us, I know you share almost everything that happens in your life with (Y/N), and as your friend, I've always felt glad and relieved to know you have her. But if there's something you can't tell her, and you need to talk to someone, you can count on me. You know that, right?"

I nodded and looked at him. That conversation took me back to the year I was using and had to keep it secret from my friends. I knew I could count on Morgan if anything happened, but I really wasn't comfortable sharing my thoughts, feelings, and fears with people. (Y/N) made it so easy. Was it ‘cos I loved her? I just always felt I could tell her anything. That had never happened to me before with anyone.

- "Morgan, Strauss was looking for you,"- Rossi walked into the room holding a cup of coffee and stared at us, raising an eyebrow- "Everything ok?"

- "Yes, we were just going through some files,"- Morgan stood up and grabbed the case folder- "I'll be right back."

- "I'll finish reading all these,"- I said and pointed at the box filled with more files. Morgan nodded and walked away.

- "Do you need any help?"- Seaver walked over that second and smiled at me. I stood up and shook my head.

- "Thanks, but I'm basically done. I'll just go make myself another cup of coffee."

- "I'll go with you!"- she smiled and waited for me by the door. Rossi looked at me and raised an eyebrow. I just cut him a straight smile and walked to the kitchenette, followed closely by Ashley.

(Y/N) walked into the bullpen that minute. I watched her as she opened the glass door and took out her jacket. It felt like the time passed in slow motion as she walked. I couldn't help it, I just smiled as soon as our eyes crushed, and for a few seconds, life was perfect. Just to know she was there, smiling at me made everything worth living.

See why I couldn't tell anyone how I was feeling? They would make fun of me. Morgan would never understand the agony and the dimension of my love for her. He would just tease me. I wonder if he had ever actually been in love 'till that point in life.

I didn't want anyone to know what was happening to me ‘cos I was sure they would make fun of me, and that was the last thing I needed at that moment. So I did what I knew best: I locked it all inside and waited for it to burn me alive.

- "Good morning, chipmunk!"- I stood by (Y/N)'s side and smiled as she left her things on her desk and turned to me. She just looked into my eyes, and my brain turned into mush.

- "Good morning, honey bunny. Did you sleep well? You look tired."

- "Yeah, I just got up extra early today to help Seaver, and now I was helping Derek with some files."

- "Do you need a hand?"

- "Sure!"- I didn't even analyze my answer. I just spit the words, thinking it would be amazing to spend some time with my friend, working together.

- "Hi (Y/N), how are you?"- that until her face changed completely when Seaver waved at her- "Spencer, do you want me to make your coffee?"- I froze and turned to her in silence.

- "No, thank you. I'll… just… wait a little before having another one. I just had my third cup."

- "Three cups in already"- (Y/N) narrowed her eyes and turned to her desk, giving me her back- "How long have you been awake?"

- "Not as long as Morgan, I tell you that,"- I pointed at him, walking out of Strauss's office and heading back to our conference room.

- "Let's help him, then."

(Y/N) walked quickly, and I followed closely. I wished I hadn't said no to that coffee. I really needed one to go through that morning.

During that morning, Derek questioned Sanderson again and finally took him and Rossi back to his house, trying to trigger any memory that might help us crack the case. Meanwhile, the rest of the team and I stayed back in the office, repeatedly going through the case files. So far, all we knew is that a team had attacked Sanderon's home and framed him for the murder of his wife and daughter.

The whole day, I focused on work ‘cos it's my favorite escape, and clearly, there was something more important to think of than whatever was going on with my life. But my head was killing me. The migraines were starting to get more intense, and I think they got worse the more thinking I gave to my relationship with (Y/N).

- "It sounds like we need to profile a dormant killer"- Ashle's voice surprised me when I was pouring myself a cup of fresh coffee in the kitchenette.

- "A very lucky one. He was essentially given a gift, a patsy in the form of Don Sanderson, and he'll do anything to protect that story."- I answered, thinking I didn't want to be in Sanderon's shoes, trying to clear my name of something I hadn't done.

- "When someone has a secret this big, everything becomes a lie."

Somehow, Seaver's words hit me. I'm sure she didn't mean to strike a nerve, but she did. I had been in love with my best friend for too long, and now it was starting to affect my life. I didn't want it to get in the way of work, and we were at work most of our time together. But there was nothing I could do about it. I just had to keep on faking everything was normal.

- "He'll most likely be pathological,"- I nearly choked at my own words as I tried to shake away the thoughts from my head.

- "So, we're looking for a liar in D. C. I thought we were trying to narrow this down."- Ashley tried to joke and waited for my reaction but didn't get anything. Instead, I just cut her a straight smile and walked away.

By the end of the night, Morgan had gotten the unsub. But I was still a mess. It had been the longest day in weeks, not just ‘cos I had barely slept the night before, but because I was overthinking everything that happened around me. It was exhausting.

- "Are you coming, Batsy?"- (Y/N) asked me and grabbed her bag after putting on her coat. I stood from my desk and nodded.

- "Yes, ma chère."

- "Where are you guys going tonight?"- Derek asked and smiled at us- "No. Don't tell me, planning this year's matching Comic-Con costumes"- I chuckled and probably blushed, busted.

- "We already settled those, Derek. We are way ahead of schedule this year,"- (Y/N) answered and stuck out her tongue to him.

- "(Y/N), can you give me a second before you go?"- Prentiss stood up and smiled at my friend, who just nodded and walked with her to the conference room. Derek and Seaver looked at me.

- "What?"

- "Do you know what's that about?"- Morgan questioned me.

- "I have no idea."

(Y/N)'s point of view

- "Please don't freak out,"- Emily smiled and turned to me after she closed the door behind her back- I just needed to clear the air a little bit between us.

- "What? Why? Is there something wrong?"

- "I don't know, I just feel you have been acting weird lately, and I needed to know if it has something to do with me supervising Seaver."

I nearly gasped. Not ‘cos I felt insulted but ‘cos I felt caught. I knew I hadn't been subtle about my feelings for Seaver. I just didn't want them to get in the middle of work.

- "I haven't been weird with you, Emily, and I don't think I've been acting strange."

- "Come on, you don't like Ashley, and I offered to supervise her while she works with us."

- "Yes, but neither of those has anything to do with me and you. We are friends, Emily."

- "I know, and I wanna honor that friendship, (Y/N). I love working with you. I just want you to know I'm not… I just… I'm trying to help Seaver start her career."

- "I understand that. We are ok,"- I tried to reassure her, but I knew she could read between my bullshit.

- "Do you think you could try to be a little bit nicer with her?"

- "Nicer?"

- "Yes, (Y/N). She is making an effort to get along with the team, and you've been giving her the cold shoulder since day one." -I crossed my arms on my chest, obviously annoyed and defensive.

- "I have been friendly with her, Emily. I just don't like her, and you can't force me to be her friend."

In my defense, in my mind, that argument didn't sound as childish as it did when I said it out loud.

- "Don't be selfish! Just because you are jealous, you can't deprive her of the opportunity of a lifetime with this team."

Emily's words were knives against my ego and nearly destroyed my facade. I stared into her eyes and wondered how to get out of that situation without hurting my friend. I could pretend I didn't know what she was talking about, but we both knew that was bullshit. I could actually try to tell her how I felt, but it was so humiliating I refused to open up. So instead, I just nodded and smiled at her.

- "I'm sorry that's how you see me. I'll try to be a better version of myself tomorrow,"- and needless to say, I turned around and left.

- "(Y/N), please wait,"- but I didn't stop walking. I refused to continue talking about Seaver with anyone. I refused to deal with feelings or the real world.

- "Everything ok?"- Spencer asked me the second he saw me appear by his side.

- "Yes,"

- "You are blushing. Did you and Prentiss argue?"

- "No, honey. We didn't argue. She just wanted to check on me ‘cos she was worried I was mad at her. But that's all."- Spencer just nodded and looked at me in silence.- "Why don't we just go home and forget about today, honey?"

Easier said than done.

So Seaver was getting under my skin. And it was getting harder to control. That week was hell, and I didn't want to show it. Eventually, I talked with Emily again, and I tried to explain to her I wasn't being mean with Seaver. I just didn't like her. And though I gave Emily my word to be friendlier with Ashley, the circumstances weren't really helping.

Things didn't get any better than Friday night. No, if anything, that was the night that made it all worse. Prentiss, JJ, and I got together at Garcia's house and had a few drinks before leaving for Anderson's birthday. I was making my biggest effort to have fun and ease my mind. Spencer said he wasn't sure he'd make it ‘cos he was tired, and automatically I almost turned out the whole deal, but Penelope literally dragged me to her house and put a beer in my hand.

- "You, my young lady, are going to put some makeup on, a hot dress, and we are going to party!"

- "But PG, I'm not…"- but she didn't let me out of it. Instead, she shushed me and raised an eyebrow, looking pretty convincing.

- "No "but." You are going. End of the conversation."

So she dragged me to the bar, along with Prentiss and JJ, who had left Will with little Henry to join us for what was promised to be one epic girl's night.

Anderson was so happy to see us. He was a sweetheart who was always willing to help us. I knew technically he didn't work at the BAU, but he was always there whenever we needed him. We all felt he was part of the team.

- "Sonny!!"- I yelled and hugged him tight

- "I'm so glad you girls made it!!"- and his smile was priceless- "JJ!!"- he actually yelled when he saw her and ran to give her a triple bear hug.

- "Grant Anderson!! I can't believe it's really you!!"

- "I've missed you so much!! How's Henry?"

- "So big!! I feel I haven't been out with friends in so long!"- JJ looked around, and her face kept lighting up as she recognized more friends and acquaintances from Quantico. I looked around and recognized Morgan already flirting with a woman at the other side of the bar.

- "Looks like chocolate thunder knows how to keep himself busy,"- I joked, and Garcia turned immediately.

- "Have you ever seen him shirtless?"- she asked in a lower voice and leaned a little closer to me, just to make sure no one would listen- "I'm sure it's illegal looking so good in real life."

I laughed and turned to see Prentiss walk to the bar to get us the first round of drinks. Ok, I'll admit it, I was having a great time. I know I didn't want to go at first, but spending time with my work friends and not just with Spencer was refreshing. Not that I didn't do fun things with the rest of the team, but my relationship with Spencer, I mean the friendship that pretty much looked like a relationship, consumed most of my time. But I just loved being with Reid more than anything.

But one night without him wasn't going to be the end of the world. Right?

Right.

Anderson and I danced and laughed. It was all very innocent. And though I've never considered myself a hot chick or whatever, a few guys asked if they could get me drinks, and I kindly declined. I wasn't looking for a one-night stand or anything. I just wanted to have fun with my friends.

- "And where's Reid?"- Anderson asked as we reached our table, where Prentiss and JJ were catching up and laughing.

- "Home, he said he was tired."

- "And? When are you two going to come clean about your relationship? You know, having the confirmation of your romance would be the best birthday present you could ever give me."

- "Grant Anderson, you nosy bastard!!"- I hit his arm and heard his laughter- "You know we are not dating!"

- "Come on!! I mean it! You have to get together! You are like the FBI sweethearts!!"

- "Shut your face!"- Anderson laughed even harder and took a look around the bar

- "So, if you are not dating Spencer, I have a friend who asked about you."

- "Who? What friend? Is he here?"- Garcia shouted question after question as she had overheard the whole conversation and even moved closer.

- "His name is James. He saw you on the news a few months ago, at a press conference with Rossi, and has been asking about you ever since."

I frowned and looked at Garcia, who was wide-eyed staring at Anderson. I had no idea what was going on. It was bizarre.

- "No, thank you?"- I whispered, not even sure of what I should answer at that- "I'm very flattered, Grant, but… I'm really not looking for someone right now."

- "You are not?"- Garcia asked me, and I just shook my head.

- "No, I have too much going on in my life, with work and… well… what we do…"

- "Really?"- Anderson sounded a little disappointed- "Well, in case you change your mind, James is…"

- "(Y/N)? Can I talk to you for a second?"- Garcia grabbed my arm and crawled me to a side of the bar.

- "What? What is it?"

- "Munchkin, you know I love you."

- "Yes, I love you too, PG."

- "That's why I feel like I need to be honest with you, ‘cos you've always been so sweet, and we've known each other for years now, and I feel like if I don't tell you this, you are never going to forgive me."- Penelope was nearly hyperventilating as she spoke.

- "Ok, what is it? You are scaring me."

- "You have to tell Reid how you feel."

- "What?"

- "He has to know! You have to tell him!"

- "I don't wanna talk about what, Penelope"- I tried to walk away from her, but she stopped me, grabbed my arm, and pulled me back.

- "No, (Y/N). He loves you, I'm not a profiler, I don't even play one on tv, but I am sure what I see in his eyes when he looks at you is love… ‘cos it's the same you have when you look at him!"

- "Son of a bitch!!"- the words escaped my lips as my heart nearly left my chest.

- "No, (Y/N)!"- but Garcia lost my attention that second, ‘cos all I could see was Spencer Walter Reid walking into the bar and Ashley Seaver hanging from his arm.

- "What do you want me to tell him, Garcia? To have fun with his new girlfriend?"- I pointed at the door, and her jaw nearly hit the floor.

- "Ok, no. There has to be a reasonable explanation for that!"

- "Yes, but Spencer being in love with me is not the explanation. I'm gonna get a drink."

Spencer's point of view

I was surprised to get Ashley's phone call that night. When my phone rang, I was ready to go to bed. My head was killing me. I had already scheduled an appointment with the doctor for some exams. I was starting to have a bad feeling about what those headaches really were, and I was too scared to tell anyone what was going on. Not even (Y/N).

Actually, of all people, she was the one I wanted to keep in the dark. Why? ‘Cos ever since we met she had taken care of me, I didn't think it was fair. She had taken me into her life and given me a place in it. And sometimes, I felt I was a burden. She helped me overcome all of my traumas and even my drug addiction. She introduced me to her best friends and made me part of her life. (Y/N) had taken trips with me to Las Vegas just to see my mom, ‘cos she knew it was hard for me to do it on my own. If it hadn't been for her, I would have probably spent over a year without visiting her. Now, we took a weekend to see mom every few months.

Why would I trouble her with some headaches? It wasn't fair.

When Ashley called, for a moment, I thought it might be (Y/N), asking me to pick her up. But no. It wasn't her that time.

- "Hey Spence, I'm sorry to bother you, but… are you at Anderson's party?"

- "No, actually, I'm in my house."

- "Why? I thought you were invited too."

- "Yeah, I know, and I was, but I'm kind of tired, and I wanted to come home and get some rest. Why? Are you at the party?"

- "No, but I was getting ready to go. But now I feel kind of awkward asking you."

- "What? What is it?"

- "I just… wanted to know if you could come with me. I'm so sorry, Spence, I didn't know you were tired. I just… I wanted to go to the party, but I feel kind of silly going alone. I wanted to ask Prentiss, but she left with (Y/N) and Garcia, and I felt so awkward asking…"

I wanted to groan, roll in my bed and hide under my pillow. But Ashley was the new girl, and she deserved to have some fun.

- "Don't worry, I'll take you there,"- I know I whispered my answer ‘cos I didn't really want to do it, but somehow I felt it was my duty.

- "Really?!"- and by the excitement in Ashley's voice, it was clear that was what she wanted to hear.

- "I'll pick you up in half an hour, ok?"

- "Thank you so much, Spence!!"

But when I walked into the bar, I knew I had made a mistake. I felt it in my guts. The same intuition I never followed in my personal life, only on the field.

I quickly looked around as Ashley held on to my arm tightly and walked into the bar with a big smile. I soon found Prentiss and JJ talking at a table filled with empty glasses, and my heart jumped inside my chest at the warm, familiar feeling that my friends gave me. I missed JJ very much. And not just as a team member but as a friend who had been taken away from us. (Y/N) always said I didn't know how to deal with change, neither did she, and the shifts in the team always affected me.

Soon I saw Morgan too, talking with Anderson and some other agents. Garcia had to be close then, but I couldn't see her or (Y/N) anywhere around.

- "Come on! Let's get a drink!"- Ashley said and crawled me to the bar.

- "I don't drink and drive"- I said, and she pouted.

- "Come on! You are no fun! Just one!"

- "No, just water. Thanks,"- I turned and scanned the place. Everybody was there, and they seemed to be having fun. Penelope waved and walked to me suddenly. She cut me a short smile and grabbed my arm.

- "Hey, what the hell are you doing here?"

- "I didn't want to come, but Ashley insisted and…"

- "Hi!"- Ashley appeared by our side and handed me a bottle of water- "I'm so excited to be here! We really needed to decompress after everything that happened this week, right Garcia?"

Penelope stared at us, trying to formulate an answer. I could see her making her bet to say something, but she just didn't. Instead, she just turned around and walked away.

- "Is she ok?"- I didn't know how to answer that, ‘cos Penelope's reaction surprised me. Ashley just looked around and grabbed my arm again.

- "Come on, Spencer! Let's dance!"

- "No, I don't… dance, sorry."

Lucky for me, Prentiss showed up and invited us to sit with her at her table. I don't know if she noticed I was uncomfortable, but I was glad to see her. Being in that bar made me feel pretty awkward and exposed.

I had never been much of a party person. I wasn't used to bars and gatherings until I joined the BAU. When I first met Derek, he tried to take me out a few times and be my wingman. It's obvious he failed at that mission. Meeting people at a bar is the most complicated equation I could ever try to solve. It doesn't work for me, no matter how hard Derek pushed me to do it. He said I had to rely on what made me feel comfortable. But no. It wasn't that I couldn't meet people. It was that I didn't want to meet anyone once I met the woman of my dreams. Even when I knew she could never be mine.

When (Y/N) came along, she started hosting these fun "dinner parties" with Frank, Lu, and Mikey, which changed everything. It was the first time I was hanging out with people my age doing things I actually liked doing. It wasn't about drinking or picking girls in a bar. It was about playing Jenga, or charades, eating pizza, and talking about movies and sometimes even books.

(Y/N) said her friends considered me part of the gang, which was all I ever wanted to hear. That I belonged. It's kind of sad when you think about it, but I don't care. I had never felt like I belonged anywhere, and they made me feel like I was one of them. They took me to their rock shows, and I jumped along with the crowd, knowing I wasn't an outcast there. I was with my friends.

You don't know how good that made me feel. And for years, they were my social comfort and cocoon. Then, when Rossi joined the BAU again, he started hosting fancy dinner parties at his house, and I got to hang out with the whole team without being at a bar, pushed to meet people. And it was so good. (Y/N) always said Rossi's arrival had a cohesive effect on us. Not because he brought us together, but the circumstances of his arrival and everything that happened that first year.

This team is no stranger to trauma, and that's a fact. I think Rossi's dinner parties gave us a space to be ourselves, relax, have a few drinks and enjoy our time together. I think that's when we stepped from being friends to be family.

And I hadn't had one before.

I hugged JJ tight as soon as I saw her smiling at me. I hadn't seen her ever since her goodbye party, over two months before, but we had talked on the phone a few times.

- "I've missed you so much, Spence!!"- she said and held my face with both hands- "You and (Y/N) owe me two babysit nights,"- and I laughed, thinking we promised we'd take care of Henry so she and Will could have a date, but we were called for a case.

- "Wait! It was one night!"- I argued, chuckling- "Why is it two nights now?"

- "‘Cos I lost a very exclusive reservation due to the two of you."

- "Technically, it wasn't our fault, we were called in for a case..."

I smiled and sat next to JJ, and Prentiss sat next to me. Ashley stood by the table and smiled at JJ. Right, they didn't even know each other.

- "It's very nice to meet you, Agent Jareau. The team talks very highly of you,"- she shook JJ's hand and smiled.

- "Ashley, right? Prentiss was just telling me you will be taking your remedial training at the BAU. Congratulations, it's a fantastic team to work with."

- "Thank you,"- I took a look around, still trying to find my best friend around. But it seemed useless, and I was starting to feel worried.

- "Where's (Y/N)?"- I had to ask.

- "She was with Anderson a minute ago,"- Penelope said and looked around- "I am going to look for her and bring her here in a second. I'll be right back."

And so, she was gone.

Prentiss and I pretty much interrogated JJ about her new job and the new team she worked with at the pentagon. I sipped my water and half-listened her answer, ‘cos most of my head was trying to register what was going on around me. No, actually, I was trying to find (Y/N). Penelope had been gone for half an hour looking for her, and I was starting to think something weird was going on. Besides, my head was killing me, and all I wanted was to go home. But I hadn't seen JJ in weeks, and I couldn't waste a chance like that.

Ashley talked with Prentiss too, and every once in a while, she tried to engage in conversation with me. But to be honest, I couldn't really concentrate on anything. I just wanted to know (Y/N) was alright.

- "Excuse me,"- I stood up slowly and looked at my friends- "I'm going to the bathroom, be right back."

- "Can you get us another round on our way back?"- Prentiss asked and smiled guiltily.

- "Sure."

- "Do you need help?"- Ashley tried to stand up, but Emily stopped her.

- "He got it, don't worry."

So I was left on my own. I walked around the bar. In my mind, I kept telling myself I was "looking for the bathroom," but I knew very well I was indeed trying to find (Y/N). I had been in that bar for an hour, and I still hadn't seen her. I was worried.

I walked around the bar and found Anderson. He seemed to be a little shocked to see me there but smiled and hugged me. It was weird hugging people, still. But Anderson was part of the team. It always felt like it. We had known each other for years, and somehow it was like he was in the background of our daily basics.

- "Have you seen (Y/N)?"- I asked him, and he widened his eyes- "What?"

- "Yeah, she's right there, actually… "- Grant Anderson pointed and turned around- "Later, Reid."

- "Bye"- I didn't even look at him. I just turned and looked around to see (Y/N).

But my best friend didn't notice me. She was too busy kissing some guy.

I stood in front of her, not knowing what to do. Her eyes were closed, and her arms were around his neck, so clearly, she wasn't in distress, and no matter how badly I wanted to take her from him, I just couldn't.

For a minute, I couldn't believe my eyes. I just stood there and stared at (Y/N), trying to understand what was going on. I always knew she wasn't meant to be mine, but I had never gotten such a brutal reminder. Not even when she was dating Paul. Watching her kissing someone else was shocking. The way that man put his hands on her waist and held her close to him, just like I always dreamt of doing, was painful.

Painful. That was the only word I can explain how it felt.

I stood there for a minute or so. I really don't know how long it was, but it felt long enough to burn in my memory everything I needed to torture myself with for the rest of my life. I stepped back after a minute. It might have been longer; I really can't recall. And all I managed to do was to walk out of the bar and reach my car.

I opened the door and slammed it as I sat behind the wheel. I wanted to cry and yell. But I didn't do either of those. Instead, I stayed still, staring at the nothing in front of me, trying to erase that fresh memory from my head. But it was impossible. (Y/N) was making out with some guy inside that bar, and there was nothing I could do to stop her. So I did the only thing I could do at that minute. I started the car and got the fuck out of there.

–

DIWK Taglist:

@all-tings-diego @big-galaxy-chaos @muffin-cup @shilohpug @eternalharry @tvandfanfic @fandomtrash2405

Spencer taglist

@calm-and-doctor

General Taglist

@spenxerslut @ash19871962 @babebenhardy @meowiemari @archer561

–

Do you want to be on the taglist or ramble about this chapter with me? Just send me a message here.

Next update: June 23th, 2021

#Spencer Reid #Criminal Minds #Matthew Gray Gubler #Babymetaldoll writes #spencer reid x reader #Spencer Reid fanfiction #hurt #angst #fluff #fools in love #criminal minds re write #criminal minds fanfic #derek morgan #emily prentiss #penelope garcia #david rossi #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid fanfictions #diwk

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championofsanghelios · 3 years

Text

Watch Dogs Legion - "My Moron"

["Forgive me for the intrusion..."] Bagley's terminal flickers to life, his avatar appearing above it. ["...but judging by your posture and your frankly outrageous alcohol intake over the last few hours...I'd say something is bothering you."] "Smartest AI in the country." Wrench mutters, staring at the bottle in his right hand. "We've got him right here...underneath a bar in Westminster." ["Sarcastic Humor."] Bagley states. ["The deflection mechanism of fools who regret their life choices. I should know, I was one of them at one time."] "Look..." Wrench suddenly looks up at the terminal, breathing out. "I'm not in the mood for company right now...so if you wouldn't mind...fucking off to wherever it is you go late at night." ["A thousand apologies."] Bagley replies. ["I'll just install myself in the nearest spider bot and scuttle off to Buckingham Palace for tea with Her Majesty shall I?"] "Whatever." Wrench squeezes his eyes shut, taking a swig from his beer and sitting back on the couch. "I don't care. Just shut up and leave me alone." ["Unfortunately I cannot."] Bagley says, a momentary glitch occurring in his speech processors that could have been a sigh if he had lungs. ["As I am rooted through this basement. Also I was here first, so check yourself before you tell me to fuck off."] "I seriously don't have the fucks to give in order to be angry at you right now." Wrench sighs, rubbing at his forehead with the palm of his left hand. "It's just another pain in my ass that I don't need." ["Then might I inquire as to what has gotten you so down?"] Bagley asks, a noticeable lilt of knowing entering his voice. ["Could it be those voice messages that you recorded and have yet to send?"] Wrench opens his eyes again, glaring at the holographic avatar in-front of him. He sits upright. "You hacked my phone?" ["No."] Bagley states. ["I am your phone...and all 27 million above. Or did you forget I'm running on almost every device in this country? Except Scotland...Savages."] A small pause occurs before he speaks again. ["What's stopping you?"] "..." Wrench stares at his terminal. "...I...don't know." He sits back, deflating again. "I guess I'm just a pussy." ["No you're more of a porcupine."] Bagley comments. ["The spikes, both literal as well as figurative. How do people give you hugs?"] "They don't." ["Marcus does."] Another pause. ["From what I've gathered...he's a reasonable person."] he continues. ["Not prone to any sudden mood swings like yourself."] "Exactly." Wrench gestures obviously with his left hand. "He's reasonable enough to know that what I have to say is pointless. That even if we both really tried, it would be doomed to failure and disappointment. That's why I didn't send them. Are you happy now?" ["Not even remotely."] Bagley states. ["Believe it or not, I was human once. You already know that. And I went through a similar...situation to yours."] "Well I hope you did better than me." Wrench shakes his head, placing the beer to the side as his stomach turns. "Because at this point, I just have to accept that some things just aren't supposed to happen." ["Actually I did much worse than you."] Bagley replies. ["But that doesn't matter in the long run. You know why?"] "...enlighten me?" Wrench rolls his eyes, expecting some sort of sarcastic or witty remark. "Because he's running on every device in this country." a voice suddenly says out of the silence, making Wrench near enough jump out of his skin. Marcus holds up his phone in his right hand. "...including mine." "You son of a bitch." Wrench looks at Bagley's avatar, before suddenly standing up. "You called him down here!? Are you out of out of your fucking mind!?" ["I just did you a favor, Reginald."] Bagley replies. ["Now why don't you two have a little chat whilst I run another maintenance cycle."] "Oh no you don't-!" Wrench yells, only for the terminal to go dark and the servers around them to tick off into stand-by mode. He kicks the side of it's casing, cursing when all he gets is a sore

foot. "Fuck!" Turning to face Marcus, he wishes a thousand hells upon the AI. "He sent you those messages, didn't he?" "He did." Marcus nods slowly, his face was passive, but there was definitely a weight in his eyes. "How long?" "I'm sorry about that." Wrench sits back down, reaching under his hood and pulling it back, running his hands through his hair. "He's a fucking dick for sending those to-" "-How long, Reggie?" Marcus asks again. "Just...answer me. Please." Wrench finds what strength he can in the moment to look him directly in the eye. "...since before I left SF." Marcus breathes out quietly, reaching up to his face and pulling off his glasses. His head rolls back and he pinches at the bridge of his nose. "That was nine years ago." "Yeah." Wrench replies, staring at him. He wasn't sure if he was about to charge at him or start crying. Either one wasn't worth thinking about. "...I know." "Why didn't you tell me?" He suddenly looks at him again, stepping forwards. "What part of you thought that I would have any problems with that? You know for a fact that I swing both ways like you." "I didn't-" Wrench stutters, finding that he was speechless, which wasn't new to him, just rare. "You were- There was a lot going on with-" He goes quiet as Marcus stops just in-front of him. He reaches forwards and places a hand on his left shoulder. Before suddenly bringing it across his left cheek. Wrench flinches at the smack, his whole body erupting in shivers, along with the sharp stinging pain on his face. Slowly but sure he looks the Hipster in the eye again. "..." "You're a fucking moron." Marcus says, lowering himself down onto one knee. He takes a hold of his right hand with his left, the other caressing the red spot on his cheek where he'd smacked him. "...you know that?" Before Wrench can respond with anything, he's pulled into a hug. It draws the breath out of him, all of the tension he was feeling releasing in an instant. "But you're my moron." Marcus says, his head resting on his shoulder. . . . (I'm very tired and very gay. Please be gentle with me. ;-;)

#watch dogs legion #reggie blechman #bagley #wrench #marcus holloway #wrencus #i wrote this instead of sleeping #as usual #is this any good?#stories

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buckyssoldat · 4 years

Text

The one (Steve Rogers x Reader)

Summary: Sharon confesses her love to Steve and his girlfriend accidentally hears it, which leaves her insecure and confused. Does Steve love her or Sharon?

Word count: 2650

Warnings: fluff mixed with angst and sadness, alcohol consumption, strong language, mentions of sex, implied smut

A/N: Hope everyone likes this! Also, please check my fic ‘Forsaken - The Fallen Soldier’. Feedback is always appreciated, don’t be shy to share your thoughts on this :)

Her eyes pooled with water as she watched her best friends in the living room of their apartment. She and Steve had been together for almost two years and everything was great, well, except for one thing – Sharon Carter, her best friend in the whole world, was in love with her boyfriend.

Both Sharon and Steve thought they were home alone. They started drinking late at night, which led them to play some games. The one being played at the moment was to tell their deep and darkest secrets. They didn’t hear her come in, so they continued playing the game. And she entered her apartment right when Sharon was exposing hers.

“Steve…” she heard Sharon say while looking at him, “I have always loved you…”

It was in that exact moment that she felt her heart break into million pieces. Sharon was one of her best friends and she trusted her with her whole life, but there was always a part in her that felt jealous of hear, even though she didn’t show it, or at least she tried not to. Having the perfect boyfriend, one of the best agents at Shield, being so beautiful and strong, and the way Steve would sometimes look at her. She had noticed it since she first joined the team. She even thought he was in love with Sharon, but those feelings went away when they finally started dating. She would sometimes feel a bit jealous of their close friendship, but she knew Steve loved her and would never leave her. Seeing Sharon professing her love for him made her feel insecure again, especially after the way Steve looked at her, as if he were ready to confess his love for her as well.

After that unexpected confession, she entered the living room, pretending she didn’t hear what had happened. The best way to deal with it was not dealing with it, or at least that was what she thought. When Steve noticed her presence, he went immediately to her arms, happy to see her home. She did hug him back, but Steve noticed something was wrong with her, especially after seeing her reject Sharon’s hug and giving her a smile instead before going back to the kitchen to make herself some coffee. He decided to speak with her once Sharon left, which happened just a few minutes later. She sensed her best friend was acting strange, so she decided to leave the couple alone and go home.

“You were acting weird” Steve said as he took another bite of the pizza they had ordered for dinner, “Did something happen at work? Was Nat too hard on you during training? She can be like that sometimes, but she doesn’t mean it.”

“I wasn’t acting strange” she answered without looking at him.

“You were. I felt it when I hugged you and then you rejected Sharon’s hug. Did I do something wrong? If I did, please tell me what it was. I hate seeing you like this.”

she sighed before finally locking eyes with her boyfriend, “You did nothing wrong, Steve. I’m just tired from training all day, nothing more.” She got up from the couch and patted his shoulder, “I’m going to bed. Goodnight, Steve.”

He didn’t even have the time to answer her, as she was already inside his bedroom, ready to go to sleep.

Once she was inside their bedroom, she took off all her clothes and picked an old t-shirt from his closet. As she laid down on the bed, she was engulfed by his scent, which was the final straw for her. The tears she had been trying to hold while she ate dinner with Steve were finally running down her cheeks and falling on the pillowcase. Why was she so insecure? Steve loved her more than anything and would never intentionally hurt her. Sharon was not a threat to their relationship, she was happily in a relationship with Frank and would never leave him. So why was she feeling so sad and insecure, afraid to lose the only person she ever truly loved? Steve entered the bedroom only a few minutes later, making her clean her wet cheeks as quick as she could before he noticed. He took off all his clothes, except his boxers, and laid next to her. As usual, he stretched his arms so they could fall asleep cuddling each other, but she immediately moved away from him.

He called her name, trying to figure out what was happening with her, but she didn’t answer him. Deciding that it was best to let her sleep, he shifted himself around, turning her back on her. And for the first time since the couple started dating, they slept with their backs to each other.

It was almost nine in the morning when Steve woke up. Luckily, the entire team had the day off, so he didn’t have to worry about going to work. He turned around, ready to meet his lover, but he only found an empty side of the bed and a note on top of her pillow.

Going off the grid for a few days. Already talked with Nat. Be back for Tony and Pepper’s wedding. I love you.

At first, he double checked the calligraphy in the note to make sure it was hers. Then, he thought it was a prank and that was gonna be waiting for him in the kitchen, but when he got up and didn’t find her there, he started to panic. Picking up his phone, he tried to call her, but she had left her phone on top of the coffee table. Next option was to call Natasha since she said in her note she had already talked with her, but her phone was off, so he got dressed and went to her apartment.

After ringing Nat’s bell for almost a minute straight, she finally opened the door, wearing a robe and yawning.

“Cap? Is everything alright?” she asked as she motioned him to come in.

“Where is she?” he questioned, already inside of her living room.

“Um, I don’t know Steve” Nat started to get worried about her friends. “She called me at 6am saying that she needed a break until Tony’s wedding. I thought she told you.”

“She didn’t.” Steve was pacing back and forth in front of the couch, nervously running his hands through his hair. “I woke up this morning and she was already gone. She left me this.” He handed the note to her. “I’m worried about her, Natasha. She was acting strange yesterday, but I was gonna talk to her about it today and now she’s gone and she-”

“Steve,” Nat interrupted him, “She is okay, I’m sure of it. The wedding is in just four days and she will be back by then. Whatever she’s going through, you’re gonna solve it together, but if she needs space, you gotta give her space, otherwise she will never come back. You know how she is, she doesn’t handle pressure well.”

“I just… I just wanna know what’s bothering her so I can help her get through it.” Steve’s voice was much calmer than it was before.

Nat went to his side and put her hand on his shoulder, “Just wait until Tony’s wedding and then you’ll talk to her.”

The next four days were like hell for Steve. He couldn’t stop worrying about her, thinking about where she was and if she was safe or not. The morning of Tony’s wedding, Steve got dressed and went to the venue. When he arrived there, he saw her happily speaking to Thor. There was a time where Steve was extremely jealous of the god of thunder. When he joined the team, him and her immediately started flirting back and forth. Back then, Steve and she weren’t dating yet, but he loved her. He accidentally found out that she and Thor were sleeping together when he went to her place late at night. It was something they usually did, go to each other’s apartments when one of them couldn’t sleep. That night, Steve was so distraught about Thor that he didn’t even text her he was coming over. When she opened her front door, she was only wearing a big white t-shirt that barely covered her bottom. The first thing Steve noticed was how effortlessly beautiful she looked; the second thing was that she wouldn’t wear that kind of t-shirt; the third thing was the t-shirt was a men’s shirt.

“I’m sorry, I forgot to ask you if I could come over” Steve cocked his head to the right, getting a clear view of her living room, where clothes were scattered all over the place. That was when he noticed the hammer on top of her coffee table. And then he remembered Thor was wearing a white t-shirt that day. “I didn’t know you had company. I’m sorry, I’ll talk to you in the morning.”

“Yeah, um…” her cheeks were burning with embarrassment. She knew Steve noticed the clothes and the hammer on her living room and the men’s t-shirt she was wearing, “this isn’t really a good time, but I can get dressed and we can go to your apartment. It’s fine Steve, really, I just gotta-”

“No,” he interrupted her, “it’s okay. I should have asked if I could come over. We’ll talk tomorrow, okay? Have fun.” Steve immediately left, not giving her an opportunity to answer him.

Since she and Thor stopped sleeping together, Steve never felt jealous of him again, especially after the Asgardian reassured him he didn’t have feelings for her and that he should tell her how he felt about her.

When the couple finally locked eyes, she looked away, continuing her conversation with Thor. Stee went to Sharon so they could finally talk about her confession a few days ago. Little did he know was that she saw them together and got closer to the pair without them noticing so she could hear the conversation. She knew it was wrong to eavesdrop on her boyfriend and her best friend, but she had to. What if Steve was telling Sharon he had always loved her as well? It was possible. Sharon loved Steve even though she had Frank. What if she was like Frank?

It wasn’t the conversation that broke her heart even more, but the look Steve had on his face as he watched Sharon walk away. In her mind, he looked at her as if she was his whole world, as if she was the only person he had ever loved. She thought Steve looked at Sharon like she thought he looked at her and that broke her completely, but she couldn’t ruin Tony and Pepper’s special day, so she had to hold it together. Every time Steve tried to approach her, she would sneak her way around and dodge him.

After telling a couple of funny stories about Tony to Pepper, she made her way to the bar so she could grab another drink, but the bartender wasn’t there. She decided to sit in one of the stools and wait. When Steve saw her alone, he went to her. This was his opportunity to finally talk to her for the first time in almost five days.

“Hey” he said as he sat next to her.

“Hi” she mumbled as she fidgeted with her fingers.

“I’m sorry.”

She let out a snarky laugh, “You don’t even know what you’re sorry for, Steve, so why are you apologizing?”

“I don’t, but-”

“Do you love her back?”

“What?” Steve asked confused.

“I know what Sharon confessed to you that night. I know how she feels about you. My question is, do you love her back or not?”

“How do you-”

“Just answer me, Steve.”

“No, I don’t love her. I mean, I do love her, but not like that anymore. I stopped loving her as soon as I saw you walk in into the tower.”

He tried to put his hand on top of her, but she quickly dismissed his touch. She didn’t believe what he had just said, not after seeing the way he looked at Sharon. Steve loved Sharon and she was just a replacement since he couldn’t have the real deal. She got up, but he gently grabbed her wrist.

“Please, I’m telling you the truth.”

“Let me go. This is Tony and Pepper’s day, I don’t wanna cause a scene, so let me go, Cap. Now.” Steve did as she asked and let go of her wrist. “Call me when you decide to stop lying.”

She left him alone at the bar. Sharon didn’t hear their conversation, but she noticed the way she looked as she made her way to Tony and Pepper to apologize for leaving so early. Sharon wanted to go to Steve, but she knew it would only make him feel worse about himself. She was sure he was in love with his girlfriend and that she was the love of his life, but she was also sure that her confession had left him confused.

She took off a couple more days. No one knew why, only Steve. Sharon suspected it was because of her, but she didn’t say anything. She got the confirmation when she didn’t visit her at the hospital after she was hurt in a mission. The only thing she got from her was a text saying “Glad you’re okay” and nothing more.

After almost one week and a half, she finally decided to text her boyfriend.

I’m ready to talk, you can come over. If you want to.

As soon as he saw that text, he sped up to their apartment. Truth was, he missed her like crazy and couldn’t go on one more day without her. Bucky was right – she was the one.

When he got there, she was sitting on their couch in the living room, a cup of coffee between her hands, waiting for him to arrive.

“Hey” he said as he joined her on the couch.

“Hi” she replied.

“So…” Steve began, “I just wanted to come clear with you – Sharon did tell me she had always loved me, and it’s true that I loved her in the past, but that changed the second you entered the tower. I fell in love the second I laid my eyes on you. And you might think I’m lying, but I’m not. I wouldn’t do that, not to you. If I loved Sharon, I would be with her. But I love you, and only you. You’re the only one and you will always be. You’re the one.”

“Steve…”

“Please, don’t leave. I can’t live without you.”

“I’m not leaving. I wanted to apologize for my behaviour. What I did was stupid and childish, I should have never run away from you, or Sharon. I just got… insecure.”

He put his arms around her shoulders and pulled her closer to him, “You have nothing to be insecure of. You’re the most beautiful person in the whole world for me and I love you more than I can ever explain.”

“I’m sorry, Steve. I really am.”

“I know you are, but I’m not the only one who deserves an apology. Sharon has been worried about you, she loves you and misses you. She was really upset when you didn’t come visit her at the hospital.”

“Don’t worry” she smiled at him, “I already talked and apologized to her before I got here. She said she was sorry for sharing that secret. We’re cool now.”

“That’s good, sweetheart” Steve grabbed her by the hips and pulled her on his lap, “Now let me show you how much I love you.”

She giggled before she grabbed him by the neck and kissed him on the lips, happy to be by his side again.

masterlist

#steve rogers fic #steve rogers one shot #steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers x you #steve rogers x reader #captain america one shot #captain america fic #captain america x you #captain america x female reader #captain america x reader #captain america x y/n #steve rogers fluff #captain america fluff #steve rogers angst #captain america angst #steve rogers sadness #captain america sadness

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psychedellic-phase · 4 years

Text

Perfect

A/N: this is a request that i got forever ago!! so sorry that it took me so long:(

ReidxFem!BAU!Reader

word count: 2.2k

tw: SMUT (unprotected sex, oral (road head, male recieving) , degradation, slight exhibitionism, all around rough sexy vibes plus a sweet ending)

Masterlist :)

The roads were always empty when you’d finally leave work. Your job was never nine to five; it was more like nine to midnight. Not that you minded; the company was always good.

The company was always Spencer. When everyone else would finally give up and go home for the night, he’s the one who always stayed. And once you started your torrid love affair with him, you stayed too. Most nights he’d take you in an empty conference room, or a bathroom stall. Everyone wondered why you two always seemed to have so much paperwork to do, when in actuality it wasn’t about the paperwork, it was about each other.

It started out how most friends-with-benefits situations do. You were both stressed, full of pent up frustrations and sexual energy with no outlet. It started after a case, him showing up at your door unannounced and practically jumping on you the second you let him in. That night ended with two earth-shattering orgasms, and sleeping next to your coworker.

You both swore it would just be that once.

“A moment of weakness,” you had told your girlfriends, but soon that moment of weakness turned into days, turned into months, turned into nearly a year of weakness. Nearly a year of janitors-closet hookups and concealer-caked hickies. Nearly a year of sexting and countless trips to the mile-high club.

It had been nearly a year, and even though you swore it was nothing, it was definitely something. Sure it was sex, but it was also the way he looked at you and the way he’d take care of you afterwards. It was the way he’d burn toast in the morning and kiss your cheek when you woke up. It was more than what either of you had bargained for, but neither one of you had gathered up the nerve to admit it.

You were hopelessly, desperately in love with each other, and neither of you even knew it.

“Staying late again?” You asked him, half sitting on his desk.

His eyes trailed up your legs, admiring how your skirt slid up. He cleared his throat, “Actually, I’m going home.”

You were taken aback. The matching bra and underwear under your clothes were counting on being taken off by him tonight.

“Oh, well, okay then.”

He smiled at you, that awkward smile he always does that you insist looks like a frog.

You made your way to your desk, embarrassed and red, wondering if he was suddenly tired of you. God, you hoped he wasn’t.

The two of you entered the elevator together, the air thick and awkward. Usually, you would’ve been halfway naked, doing god knows what right now, but instead you were standing three feet apart and wishing the elevator would fall through the floor.

When the doors opened, you exited simultaneously.

“Let me drive you home,” He said, delicately grabbing your wrist.

Your interest was piqued, “Oh?”

He pulled you a little closer to him, but not so close that security would see what he was trying to do, “I have plans for you.”

You giggled, “I like the sound of that.”

He pulled you to his car. The old, yellow thing must have been from 1926 and you were amazed it even functioned.

You followed him eagerly, dipping into the passenger seat with ease. He started the car, looking over at you with a gleam in his eyes that you swore was more than just the moonlight.

“So, what’s the plan, Reid?” You asked as he pulled out of the parking garage.

His hand met your thigh, stroking small circles on your bare skin, dangerously close to where you were already throbbing.

“I was thinking, maybe you could do something for me. I mean, since I am driving you home and all,” He looked over at you, devilish grin.

You bit your lip, “And what would that something be, Dr. Reid?”

He took his bottom lip into his mouth, “Surprise me.”

You took that as your opportunity to reach over, glide your hands up the inside seam of his pants and palm him. He was already rock hard, you could see the pants straining to contain him. You deftly moved your hand up, the same way you had a hundred times, and unbuckled his belt. Then you pulled down his zipper at a ridiculously slow rate.

“C’mon baby, the ride’s only so long,” He said, his voice strained and his breath already heavy.

“Then take the scenic route,” You whispered, biting at his neck as you dipped your hand into his boxers and pulled him out.

The moonlight allowed you to see the gleaming tip, mouth watering as you twisted your body so you could bend over. He tugged his pants down slightly and moved the seat back to give you more space and access.

Your tongue teased the tip first, swirling around the head and dipping into the slit. He tasted musky and salty, the same way he always did. You quickly used your lips to take the entire head into your mouth, sucking hard while your tongue touched anything it could reach.

The sounds coming out of his throat were animalistic, “God, stop teasing.”

He used one hand to gather up your hair and tugged on it gently, your mouth opening up wider. You hit a bump in the road, his cock forcing itself up into your throat and causing you to gag. You kept him there, as far in your throat as he could go. Your hand found whatever your mouth couldn’t reach and moved in the same rhythm as you did. You nipped and sucked at him, tongue drawing broad stripes up and down and up and down.

You removed your mouth for a moment, your hand smearing your saliva and his precum around as you jerked him. Your tongue found his balls sucking and squeezing each of them between your lips.

He bucked up into you, the car jerking.

You giggled, tongue still poking out to lick at him, “Watch the road, Reid.”

He groaned as your mouth and hands switched places, hands toying with him while you bobbed your head up and down. He thought he was going to explode.

“Get off,” he ordered, yanking your hair again, this time pulling you off.

You were confused, mascara under your eyes, cheeks puffy and hair a mess, “But—“

Spencer pulled off the side of the quiet road, “You’re going to go bend over the back seat.”

You wriggled in your seat, “But I want to—“

“You heard me. Back. Now.”

You got up on shaky legs, your neck aching slightly from the angle of the road head.

You opened the door, and bent over, allowing your skirt to ride up.

You felt Spencer behind you, his large hands warm on your thighs as he trailed his hands under your skirt, finding your panties and yanking them off. The air was cold against your wetness but you didn’t feel it for long. His hand traced the curve of your butt before grabbing at it roughly.

“You’re so desperate, pretty girl,” He whispered, sliding the tip between your folds, “You’ll let me fuck you here, in public, for anyone to see.”

You couldn’t do much but whimper. The way he could use his words to build you up and simultaneously tear you down was enough to make you push towards him.

He roughly grabbed your butt again, “Oh, very desperate today, aren’t we pretty girl?”

You nodded, but he couldn’t see.

“I said, aren’t we, pretty girl?”

“Yes!” You yelped, “Yes! Please, please, I need you.”

He pushed into you then, leaving no time for adjustment. His hands fit in the dips where your hips met your waist. He started at a brutal pace, your knees rocking back and forth against the rough seats, destined to be cut and bruised tomorrow. You didn’t mind it.

He grabbed your hair again, pulling your head back so he could look at you, “You like that, don’t you? For such a pretty girl, you’re so dirty.”

You nodded, “Only for you.”

The words meant more than you intended them to, but he didn’t notice, too busy palming your ass and muttering insults at you.

You could feel him in your stomach with every thrust, your wetness spreading around, no doubt dripping onto his seats.

“You’re really just a whore, aren’t you? A pretty little whore, but still a whore.”

Your arms were growing weak, unable to hold you up anymore. You slid down onto your elbows from your hands, arching your back as high as you could.

He yanked your hair, the pain melting into pleasure that flooded down your body, “Look at me while I fuck you.”

You turned your head slightly to catch a glimpse of him. He was sweaty, hair stuck to his forehead and beads dripping down his face. His shirt was half unbuttoned, a peek of skin poking out, tie undone lying across his shoulders. His sleeves were rolled up, exposing the veins that line his arms and hands.

He looked like a God.

You turned back around, not able to handle the feeling in your chest in conjunction with the feeling in your lower belly.

“I’m close,” You muttered between groans, Spencer taking his fingers to your puffy clit and drawing fast figure eights.

“Cum all over me like a good whore. My good whore.”

That was enough to push you over the edge, pulsing and groaning beneath him. With a few extra sloppy thrusts, he was pulling out and cumming all over your ass.

You sighed, feeling the high that always came with him, but the low that always came the second he left.

You didn’t move. He was opening the glove box in search of tissues, wiping himself and you off before fixing your skirt.

He helped you up, knowing that your knees and elbows would be sore from holding yourself up. When you stood, he grabbed your hands to steady you and ran his hands through your hair. You saw that same thing in his eyes again, a lightness that could easily be mistaken for love.

“You know, you really are a pretty girl,” he said, his hand tracing from where he tucked your hair behind your ear to your chin. There he cupped the side of your face softly, pulling you into him for a kiss.

You’d kissed him a million times before, but they were different. They were always hot and heavy and frustrated and passionate. This kiss was light, sweet, kind. The kind that could be mistaken for love.

When he pulled away, you smiled at him.

“I-“ you started, before cutting yourself off. This wasn’t healthy, but if this was what you got, you’d take it. Any time with him was valuable time.

“What? What is it?” His voice was low, the moon above his head.

You blushed, realizing just how close he was to you. You wondered how you’d slept with him many times and this somehow felt more intimate than all of those experiences combined.

“I-we should get home.”

He smiled, “Right.”

When you got in the car, you turned away, knees facing the door. He instinctively put his hand out to find your thigh, but found nothing.

He sighs, “Did I go too far? I’m so sorry, Y/N. I’m so so sorry. I thought you liked–“

You laughed, voice only cracking slightly, “No, you were perfect.”

“Then what’s the problem?” He asked, voice high and nervous, nasally and wary.

“That is the problem,” You sighed, turning to look over at him. Even driving, he was somehow the most beautiful thing to ever grace this earth, “You’re perfect.”

He chuckled lightly, “Far from it.”

You reached out for where his hand was on the stick shift, placing your fingers over his, “Perfect.”

He looked over at you for a moment too long, car swerving as he did so.

You smiled, “Watch the road, Reid.”

He glanced between where his eyes should’ve been and where they wanted to be, “It’s hard to pay attention to the road with you here.”

“Really? Why’s that?” You said, sliding effortlessly back into the usual flirty banter. But the words left unsaid were on the tip of your tongue.

“Because I love you.”

He said it easily, honestly, more like a promise than a proclamation.

You squeezed his hand, the words falling over just as easily, “I love you too.”

He grinned, looking over at you once more, “I mean it. I don’t know when or where or how, but I fell in love with you, pretty girl.”

You leaned over to kiss his cheek, “I don’t know when or where or how, but I fell in love with you too, pretty boy.”

——————

Taglist:)

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redrisingsun · 3 years

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Swedish Holidays for all your Young Royals needs

Due to popular demand (by like five people) here’s a brief description of all the major Swedish holidays and how they’re celebrated because I can’t stand here and pretend as if we really celebrate Christmas the 25th. We have more holidays, I've only written about the ones we celebrate in my family. I come from a working class family and live in Southern Sweden, however I do have family in Stockholm. I'm not religious in any way and as far as I know, most families don't celebrate these holidays because they're religious, but because it's tradition.

yall better appreciate this, it took me literal hours

January

1: Dubbed as one of the collective pizza days in my household. It's the day after New Year, and most people either order in or eat leftovers.

Week 2 or 3: Most people return to their jobs, schools and other daily activities.

February/March

Fettisdagen ("Fat Tuesday"): celebrated 47 days before Easter. The actual date varies, all from early February to early March. It's an old Christian tradition where you'd eat fatty foods before the "before Easter"-fast and is supposedly a thing in other Christian countries as well. These days, most people celebrate by eating semlor with their family, and most don't fast before Easter.

The semla is a sweet bun with whipped cream and almond paste.

Våffeldagen (Waffle Day, 25th of March): I think this day stems from a Christian tradition, but these days the day is mostly to get together with family and eat waffles.

April

Påsk (Easter): Again, the date varies, but Easter is usually in April. Easter stems from Christianity and is celebrated to remember Jesus' death and resurrection. Easter spans over a week, but I personally only celebrate one of those days.

Påskafton (direct translation: Easter Eve, English translation: Holy Saturday) is the Saturday of the Easter week. In my family, the children get to look for Easter eggs (often filled with candy).

Some children also dress up as Påskkärringar (Easter crones) and I think this tradition has to do with the Witch Trials in Sweden, but I'm not sure. Chances are you won't need to know anything about this for your Young Royal fics, because mostly girls dress up.

Sometimes, we decorate eggs.

Later, we sit down to eat together and spend time with our families. Common things to eat for Easter is potatoes, eggs, herring and meatballs.

Valborgsmässoafton (Walpurgis Night, 30th): We burn a big bonfire in the evening to celebrate that spring is here. I live in a fairly small town, so mostly everyone gathers at one spot and burns the fire together. When the bonfire is burned, most people go home and that's it. It's also seen as a reason to have a party (mostly for teenagers and young adults, I think) and get drunk as fuck.

May/June

Sveriges Nationaldagen (Sweden's National Day, 6th of June): Most people are home from school and work. We hoist the Swedish flag. Idk. However, the Royal Family celebrates by getting dressed up in Swedish costumes. This year, the King held a speech and the family went to Skansen (which is an amusement park/zoo. You can read more about it here). There's music and the military does their weird little thing. You can watch the National Day Celebration on Skansen from 2014 here.

Midsommarafton (Midsummer): date varies, but is celebrated a Friday in late June. I'm sure there's a Christian explanation for this one, but I don't personally know it.

Midsommar (midsummer) means middle of the summer.

Again, this is a day to eat and spend time with your family (or drink, depending on who you are). We eat pretty much the same things for Midsummer as we do for Easter.

For Midsummer we also dance around a Midsommarstång (direct translation: Midsummer Pole, English translation: Maypole) and make flower crowns.

How Midsummer is celebrated depends a lot on your age (most teenagers and young adults again see this as a reason to party), where you're from and a million other things.

My personal favorite Midsummer tradition is probably more common in the country than in the city, for example. You're supposed to pick seven different flowers without saying a word. Then, you sleep with the flowers under your pillow. Supposedly, you'll dream of your future husband (or wife! But I think it's more common that women and girls do this). This tradition also varies. Some people say you need nine flowers and some people say you have to climb over fencing for it to count.

Some teenagers or young adults spend time with their friends to party, instead!

You can watch part of a Midsummer celebration at Skansen here.

The Royal Family usually celebrate Midsummer privately, but I think there's usually new pictures of the entire family around this time.

Day after Midsummer: Collective Pizza Day 2. Everyone either eats takeout or leftovers because no one can be bothered to make anything and like half of the population has the worst hangover they've had since New Year.

Summer Holiday Note: most people in Sweden have four weeks of paid leave each summer.

July/August

Kräftpremiär (Crayfish party) - date varies, normally early August. Basically people get together to eat crayfish and drink. You can usually get paper plates and plastic cups and whatever with ugly crayfish motives (which is fun), but I've never done this.

October

Halloween (30th): Halloween is nowhere near as big in Sweden as it is in the States. We just buy some lösgodis ("loose candy", where you can throw whatever kind of candy you want in a bag. See pictures). Trick or treat is so unusual in the town I grew up I've only ever had one kid ask for candy and when I celebrated Halloween with my grandparents (in a city not far from Stockholm), it was the same. I usually buy some candy and watch a horror movie, but that's about it.

However, Halloween is (again) a reason for teenagers and young adults to drink and party.

November

Alla Helgons Dag (All Saints' Day): Date varies, usually early November. It's a day to remember the dead and we usually light a candle at the grave yard.

December

Första Advent (First Advent): Date varies. Sunday four weeks from Christmas Eve. We mostly just light a candle, honestly. Then, each Sunday for the next four weeks, we light a candle. Here's actually the Crown Princess wishing Happy First Advent with her family! Unfortunately without English subtitles, but here's the translation: "Today is the First Advent. Advent means arrival and hope, something that feels extra important this year. (her husband lights the candle) We want to wish everyone a happy first advent!"

Andra Advent (Second Advent): date varies. We light the second candle.

Tredje Advent (Third Advent): date varies. We light the third candle.

Fjärde Advent (Fourth Advent): date varies. We light the fourth candle. In my family we usually decorate the tree this Sunday.

Julafton (Christmas Eve): Celebrated the 24th. YES, THE 24TH. Christmas Eve obviously varies from family to family, but there's a few things most people have in common. Usually, we get one gift in our sock (which hangs on our bedroom doors in my home, because we don't have a mantle) when we wake up. As kids me and my brother almost always got a movie or something to keep us busy until it was time to leave for our grandparents house.

For lunch we eat the Christmas dinner. It's the same damned food as our other holidays. Herring, meatballs, potatoes, sausages etc, but now, we also have julskinka (Christmas ham). Some people eat ham even for Easter, but we only really eat it for Christmas in my family. Obviously the food varies a little from season to season, but as a picky eater I always just eat potatoes, meatballs and ham.

At 3, Kalle Anka (Donald Duck) is on. Yeah, we watch the same damned stuff every year. It's tradition, alright? Anyway, Donald Duck lasts for an hour or so, and first you get to see Santa work in his workshop, then Disney characters wish you a Merry Christmas with scenes from their movies (original, I know). There's Lady and the Tramp, Donald Duck (obviously) and a million other things. Then there's also one or two trailers for movies Disney will release the coming year. I really couldn't be bothered to find everything on YouTube for you to watch, sorry!

After Donald Duck, we open the Christmas gifts in my family. Normally we just rip out gifts open lmao.

After opening the gifts, we usually eat a second time. This time it's time for porridge. Tomtegröt (Santa porridge) is sweet and often served with cinnamon. Usually, everyone is so stuffed at this point that you only eat because you "have" to eat porridge for Christmas (again, at least in my family).

The last thing we do in my family, is to get a puzzle out. My grandpa almost always gets a new puzzle for Christmas, so we'll put that on the dining table and work on it together until it's getting too late for us to stay.

The Royal Family usually release new pictures of the family for Christmas and wish everyone a Merry Christmas.

Day after Christmas: Not a collective pizza day! There's usually too much Christmas food left to be able to order pizza. Usually, we have Christmas food to eat for four-ish days after Christmas, and by then you're getting really tired of it.

Sometimes we watch something on television, but for the most part we just sit around and spend time together. I think the Crown Princess read something from the Bible this year? I'm not actually sure if the Royal Family go to the Christmas Service, but I don't think so.

Nyårsafton (New Year's Eve): last day of the year. We shoot fireworks, eat food and dessert and spend time with family. This day we normally eat something "fancy" or something you we don't usually eat.

At twelve, we go out to light some fireworks (or just watch fireworks). When that dies down, it's time for the cheese platter. My dad wants it, no one else ever eats from it, we still do it every single year because "it's not New Year's without it". When we've had the cheese platter, everyone go to sleep and that's that.

People obviously celebrate this differently, as well. It's not uncommon to go see your friends or have guests over, and some people party rather than have fancy dinner with their parents. I personally prefer spending time with my parents, because that's what New Year's is for me.

Some people give resolutions, but I think it's more common in the States.

Christmas Holiday Note: It's common for people to not work between Christmas and New Year's Eve where I'm from.

Some things you might want to know about the Swedish Royal Family and Sweden overall:

The Royal Family in Young Royals is not the real Royal Family (obviously).

The Royal Family usually spends time on Öland during the summers.

Chances are Wilhelm and his family live at Drottningholm Slott (Drottningholm Palace) and not Stockholm Slott (Stockholm Palace). Drottningholm is used as a home for the current King and Queen and is located west of Stockholm. However, the scenes where Wilhelm is home is shot at a palace called Stora Sundby Slott. I doubt Wilhelm and his family would live here if they were the actual Royal Family since it's used as a place for people to gather when they want to hunt for sport. However, if they truly live at Stora Sundby, it takes almost two hours to drive from Stockholm to the castle.

Bjärstad is AT LEAST two hours away from Stockholm.

Bjärstad to Stora Sundby Castle takes approximately an hour and a half by car, and between nine and twelve hours by bus. Which means these two boys can't just take a twenty minute bus to see each other.

Bjärstad to Drottningholm takes a little over two hours by car and four-ish hours by bus.

Bjärstad to Stockholm Slott takes over two hours by car and three and a half hours by bus.

Hillerska is shot at Kaggeholms Slott (Kaggeholm Palace), and is a hotel.

The age of consent in Sweden is 15, HOWEVER it's illegal to have sex with someone four or more years younger than you if you're not both over the age of 18. Let me illustrate: -Person A is 15 and Person B is 15. It's legal because both are 15. -Person A is 15 and Person B is 20. It's illegal, because there's a five year old gap between them. -Person A is 15 and Person B is 18. It's legal (but probably frowned upon), because they're both 15 or older and there's not a four year gap between them. -Person A is 18 and Person B is 30. It's legal, because both are 18 or older. Idk if this makes sense or if this is what it looks like anymore, but this is what it was like when I still went to school. Obviously people aren't going to run around and call you names if you happen to date someone four years younger than you (I know a girl who met a guy when she was 14 and he was over 20), but please, be mindful of this. Our age of consent doesn't give you a right to be weird and nasty to teenagers (yes, I'm talking about Edvin).

Also, the Royal Family have their own website, which you can find here. As far as I can see, there's more information on the Swedish page, but there's plenty translated to English. You can also read of the Swedish Royal Family and its history on the palaces's website, here.

All pictures have been taken straight from Google. I haven't used any sources, because this is shit I do every single year with my family. Feel free to correct me or add things you do, but keep it respectful, please!

Friendly reminder that I've simplified some parts of this to make sense, specifically the dates of the Advent celebrations.

If there's anything you don't understand or want more information on, you're welcome to contact me! I take pretty long to reply, but I'll definitely try to get back to you as soon as possible. Thank you!

#young royals #young royals netflix #yr netflix #yr #wilmon #please im begging you love this

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