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syzyg3tic · 11 months

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Yuletide Letter 2023

Hello!

Thanks so much for writing for me! I’m excited to see what you come up with :) Here are some general likes and dislikes, as well as fandom-specific thoughts. Feel free to think of this as a grab bag of starting points or inspiration, not hardline prompts (of course)! I am equally interested in all three fandoms, so have fun with whatever you want to write!

ALSO I love treats.

General Likes:

-Character study/character motivation exploration

-Expressing emotions physically–sex or kissing or any physical interaction as conversation/argument/apology/confession/goodbye

-Characters B&C talking/making out about their mutual feelings for Character A (probably most useful for 180Degree)

-Missing scenes/vignettes

NSFW likes:

Again, no pressure to write explicit fic, but if you do, here are some things I like to read about!

-Sensation play

-Breathplay

-Solo/fantasizing

-Sex as conversation–sex that’s also about forgiveness/goodbye/someone else/admission/catharsis/grief

-First times/exploration of each other

Dislikes/DNWs:

-AUs

-A/B/O dynamics

-Soulmate/one true love stuff

-Mpreg/pregnancy/kidfic

-illness fic

-Noncon

-Scat/pee

-Non canonical character death

Requests

1) สามเราต้องรอด | 3 Will Be Free

Characters: Miw, Mae

Why I like it:

I love all the characters in this show a lot, and I love the hero trio and the “villain” trio on their own, but I think a LOT about the two women, on their own and together. They both have had to learn to be hard, and to push away their feelings. They both are scarred by the memories of the first person they killed. The fact that one woman’s revenge quest hinges on another’s downfall is aaah it’s a big feeling, especially because Miw gets what she wants in the end and Mae doesn’t. This pains me. The 3 who end up free are the only people left in the world who know what Mae went through, and she can’t really talk to them about it because of the nature of their situation!! Their connection in that big confrontation in the forest really hit home how similar the two of them are, and how well they’d get along in other circumstances. I think there’s a lot of bittersweetness in that. I want Mae to be happy.

Concepts:

-I would love to see postcanon fic where Mae and Miw meet, either planned or by accident, and get a chance to talk. To create some kind of friendship forged in trauma. I think they are both capable of forgiving each other, since they now know they both acted the way they did because of situations they did not control. I can see them wanting to take back control from those external forces by being good to each other, both learning to feel worthy of the other’s forgiveness. I can see this being fully friendship or turning romantic or physical. I love the idea of them experiencing queer gender euphoria together. I don’t want you to break up Shin/Miw/Neo, but hey, they’re already polyamorous, why not let Miw have a girlfriend also! Or at least a one off emotional cathartic hookup (or series of healing hookups) with Mae??? And Mae deserves the world, by god, and I want her to have SOMETHING good after the story ends ;-;

DNW “welcome to the polycule, here are the rules” type long winded relationship negotiation. The way the main 3 navigated their relationships in the show was pretty fluid and organic, and a bit of checking in with each other is fine, but I’d like to keep that relaxed tone, if you do take this in a romantic direction.

I didn’t request the other characters because I wasn’t interested in fic that focused on them, but feel free to include them as side characters if you like.

2) เส้นลองจิจูดที่ 180 องศาลากผ่านเรา | 180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us (TV)

Characters: Inthawut, Sasiwimol, Siam

Why I like It:

This show obliterated me. The way In, Mol, and Wang balance and unbalance each other and circle around the absence of Siam. How it ended the way it should have but made me ache for other possibilities. All the damn line and bridge and travel imagery and concepts. It was so restrained while making me FEEL unhinged. Real fuckin art. Anyway, the show made me feel like my heart got scraped over gravel, and I would love to feel worse. I mean. I am also down with a hopeful ending, but if you want to dig into the angst (especially for In), feel free.

I requested In, Mol, and Siam, and I am happy to have any fic focusing on any one of/combination of those three characters! While I do love Wang, and the fucked up juicy tension of Wang/In, I am not interested in fic that focuses on their relationship, which is why I didn’t request him. I am fine with him being a background character, and his different fraught relationships with both In and Mol can still be present, if you write about the canon era, I’d just rather have the main dynamic the fic is about be some combination of the other 3.

Concepts:

-More about the past era! Could be more about a time In and Siam almost got together but didn’t. Or make it more Mol focused, her trying hard to Not See the truth, because if she manifests what she wants hard enough, surely it will happen. Or a time when they were happy (or thought they were happy) In/Mol, In/Siam, Mol->Siam, Siam shooting his shot to try and get a 3 way, and it absolutely not going well, if at all. Any of that!

-This is uh. The most wretched concept I’ve got, but I am very fond of it. I keep thinking about what if In and Mol did some grief hooking up once. The show is pretty clear on the fact that they didn’t hang out after Siam died, but like. What if Once. And it was just miserable for them. Lots of talking around Siam. Or what if they run into each other, pretend they don’t know each other, and hook up playing like they’re strangers but they’re both definitely aware of what’s going on? Or Mol trying to get In to talk about Siam while they’re having sex and it making In dissociate. I just really love the trope of persons A and B hooking up about person C that they both love. And this would work both with them acknowledging this to each other or not. This could be cathartic or make things worse, or both!

-Any kind of In, Mol, or Siam navel gazing, past present or future, self-aware or unreliable narrator style.

-And a note about Mol–She’s one of my favorite parent characters ever. She’s extremely flawed, but I think the show does a good job of showing us why her fears make sense to her, and how they lead to her narcissism and hold her back from being a happier, better person. I know some people have a hard time with her character, but I love her a lot, so if you feel up to writing her, I’d love it if you show that she is trying hard to be good, to be loved, to not be left behind, rather than just demonizing her.

3) One Piece (Live Action TV 2023)

Characters: Arlong, Nami

Why I like It:

Ok well the reason I like the SHOW is that it is silly and fun and chasing its bliss, with the anachronistic costuming and shonen power dialed up to full earnestness. It's sweet and weird and hornier than I expected. But I also like the way it allows for darker moments, to make the good "friendship means everything" message that Luffy brings to the crew really land--these guys are coming from some TRAUMA, huh?? I also like how the "villains" are sometimes villains for complicated reasons, and that the military/government is often the real enemy, and that outcasts and oppressed peoples lash out when they've been held down long enough. So for this fic I really am leadning harder on the traumatic pasts, but i DO love the hopeful future Nami finally allows herself to want by the end of S1, thanks to Luffy, so feel free to use the tone balance you like most.

Concepts:

Well. Ok so the thing is I would love to see some absolutely wretched Nami/Arlong from when Nami was younger and horny and sad and fucked up and potentially had never even kissed anyone, and was like "maybe if i crawl into Arlong's bed he will like me more and let me go faster." But then the end result is that no, he wants to keep her around longer, now. What if Nami had a not horrible time hooking up with him, and then felt weird about it because, you know, this guy killed her mom and kept her captive? What if she has complicated feelings about him that are definitely not Love, but when you wanna hook up and your options are limited and a hot shark guy is there, and he Knows you like no one else does, well. Oops. Arlong could be immediately down, or he could be surprised and unsure at first because of some silly little piece of affection for her that he has buried, but overall I like the idea of this being Nami's idea, and Arlong ahhh, rising to the occasion. Dubcon is great on either end (or both! What if they both feel like they're the one getting one over on the other one!), Noncon is a DNW.

I am only familiar with show canon, where their ages are more vague and handwavy, which is fine with me. I am not looking for SUPER young Nami here, but if you keep it just vaguely in the past it'll be fine. The power imbalance and Nami trying to take some control here is what I'm most interested in, so the age gap is like. THERE, but it isn't the main reason I'm interested, if that makes sense.

If you like writing flashbacks to the horrors with a happy current day, feel free to frame it as Nami remembering this happening, or with a coda at the end with Nami comparing her life then to how it is now. I like any and all ship mashups of the crew, so if you want her to have friendly casual sex with Luffy (who imo would kiss any homie), or her with Zoro (who i feel Get each other on a tortured introvert level, though i feel like Zoro is a Kinsey 5), feel free to add that in! I didn't officially request it bc I'd rather the fic focus on Nami and Arlong, but go wild if you're into adding those things on to the end! If you want to include any non-Nami ships in any present day addition, I am partial to zosan and luffy/zoro, but I'm not super picky.

Things I forgot to put in my signup because I did it at the last minute but that you can please keep in mind:

-If you got assigned me for this canon and you don't want to write explicit fic, that is also completely fine!! You can use the same energies for a Nami/Arlong kiss, or even for her just thinking about trying to seduce him and ultimately deciding against it.

-You are welcome to include the politics and ethics of the Fish-men as much or as little as you feel capable of. If you feel you can address the race allegory with nuance and care, and you like writing about that sort of thing, feel free to address it! But it is also fine to not make that a focus--just don't be racist and I will love it.

#yuletide 2023

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hfxdadap · 2 years

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CGL is simply the broader term to describe DDLG. It encompasses DDLG and its variations. Whereas ageplay is a kink where you roleplay a certain age either to enhance sexual experiences or to merely relax.

Ageplay and CGL are best represented in a Venn diagram because not everyone who roleplays age necessarily acts younger and not everyone who’s into CGL is into ageplay.

That’s why a portion of ageplay in the Venn diagram has gray lines. Think of that as an area excluded from the CGL tree because it’s the part of ageplay where practitioners roleplay older roles. It’s pretty rare, but it exists.

As you already learned, DDLG is very fluid. There are elements common to littles and daddies such as dominance, submission, and little ages, but they’re not always a fixed rule.

And this rings true when it comes to gender. If there’s DDLG, then there’s its opposite: MDLB or Mommy Dom/Little Boy. There’s also DDLB (Daddy Dom/Little Boy) and MDLG (Mommy Dom/Little Girl).

If you’re gender-fluid, you don’t have to stick to one camp either. Sometimes you might be in the mood for some MDLB or sometimes you might want to try DDLB.

If both you and your partner are switches, sometimes you might try DDLG, and sometimes you might try MDLB.

Really, anything is possible.

But because you’re here specifically for DDLG (hence the title), I’ll be using that term mainly from here onward. But keep in mind that what I say can also be applied to the other CGL variants.

Little Ages

In the diagram, I segmented the little ages into 4: ABDL (which stands for Adult Baby/Diaper Lover), little ages of toddler age to 12 years old, middle ages or teenage to young adult years, and no little age.

You’d notice that ABDL spans all age groups. That’s because age here is optional. Sure, the subcommunity loves wearing diapers--it’s the whole point of it. So, it’d only make sense that their little ages should probably be from newborn to toddler age, right?

But you don’t have to ageplay to enjoy wearing diapers. As with any other aspect of CGL, how you practice ABDL depends on you and what you’re most comfortable with. Whether it’s for erotic reasons, a mere stress reliever, a hobby, or a lifestyle, it’s all up to you.

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the-quiet-fire-of-defiance · 2 years

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A (Belated) Entry for @aspecardaweek Day 4 Prompt ‘World-Building’: My Thoughts on Noldorin Terminology

Imagine: Noldor with the absolutely wildest linguistic traditions around queerness.

On one hand, I’m basing this on the idea that this is a society without heteronormativity or cisnormativity. The fact that there's no divisions or attitudes attached to sexuality means that there's less of a social drive / desire for labelling, because it’s simply not important. It’s almost like having a word for being attracted to brown-haired people. Why would you? Some people are, some people aren’t, some people are attracted to people of all hair colours, some people are mostly attracted to blondes but occasionally fancy a brunette. It’s a fact of life, and why would you sort people into categories based on that? It would be weird as fuck.

On the other hand; they’re Noldor. They take linguistics seriously.

Noldor simultaneously:

Don't put much importance on categorising people based on what gender they’re attracted to

Often have hyperspecific labels for themselves that they create and define on an individual basis, made of a portmanteau of other words to describe their own unique experience.

You know how people make jokes about German because you can basically make your own compound words by putting a whole lot of smaller words together? Eg:

Käsesalamipizzaabhängigkeit (cheese + pepperoni + pizza + dependence = cheese and pepperoni pizza addiction)

Noldorin terms for sexuality & gender do exactly the same thing. You find the exact words that you want to include in your self description and smoosh them all together into one word.

No one loves pedantic linguistics more than Noldor. You choose your own unique label that describes your experience exactly how you want to. Everybody knows the root words, so they know what you mean when you put the ones you want together. There’s no rules except linguistic ones.

It’s the same for gender! While a large proportion of Noldor society in both Valinor and Beleriand would identify with the terms neri or nissi (often translated as ‘elf man’ and ‘elf woman’), these are seen mainly as umbrella labels. Most Noldor would put their own qualifiers on it, like “vaguely a ner most of the time but sometimes not and I bake lembas* but only when I’m not a ner”.

*(which is traditionally the role of nissi)

There are two parts to most Noldorin attraction descriptors. The first part is about the kind of people you’re attracted to, and often but not always includes gender preference. It can be all sorts of traits, though, not just gender. The second and much more important part is about the patterns of attraction/desire that you feel. So there’s a lot of Quenya terms similar to aspec microlabels (demisexual/romantic, cupiosexual/romantic, etc), terms for “I used to feel attraction but don’t anymore”, and every kind of microlabel you could possibly imagine. That then often gets broken down into sexual, romantic, aesthetic attraction, etc, etc, etc...

In some ways it’s efficient to get all of that information across at once, and never have to explain terms or go searching to find one that fits you. You just create it. At the same time, it’s a needlessly pedantic process that creates ludicrously long words that only one person will ever use. But it’s absolutely perfect for them. It’s chaotic, and ridiculous, and wonderful.

Most elves identify as the elf equivalent of aspec for at least some period in their lives. Your experiences of sexuality and romance tend to be pretty fluid when you live forever. It’s very common for elves to experience a prolonged period of reduced or absent attraction and desire at some point. This can last anywhere between a few yeni to literal Ages of the world, and sometimes it never comes back. But of course, there are also elves who have always identified as aspec.

Some famous aspec elves include:

Maedhros: caedsexual and caedromantic after his captivity

Findis: aromantic lesbian

Curufin: recipromantic sex-repulsed asexual

Gil-galad: homoromantic/aroflux grey-asexual

Cirdan: non-partnering aroace

Thingol: alloromantic asexual

Finally, there is one very short term that is common across all groups of elves, from Avari to Calaquendi. It means;

“I am [spouse’s name]sexual/romantic.”

#aspecardaweek #silmarillion #maedhros #findis #curufin #gil-galad #cirdan #thingol #trans tolkien

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musclesandhammering · 3 years

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“Sylki isn’t even a m/f pairing cause they’re both genderfluid!”

↘️ I really really wanted Loki to be canon genderfluid, but the problem with that is that in Ep 5, they do everything in their power to make both Loki and Sylvie seem Very Very cis. All the Loki’s straight up say they’ve never seen a female version of themselves, and Sylvie says that she was born a woman (and never shows any sign of presenting as anything else). Even if Ep 5 hadn’t happened, though, the only mention of anything gender-related is a little Easter egg in Loki’s file that says “Sex: Fluid”. Easily missed by a casual viewer, so not much confirmation at all.

“You’re biphobic if you have a problem with Sylki!”

↘️ Putting aside the fact that I’m actually bi myself… In real life, it’s totally valid for a bisexual person to only date the opposite sex, but on screen “Show, don’t tell.” is the golden rule. There are plenty of problems with Sylki other than the fact that it’s a m/f ship. However, it’s extremely frustrating for queer people to see the writers patting themselves on the back for giving us one (1) throwaway line that can be easily edited out for homophobic audiences, and then to see absolutely no further acknowledgment of Loki’s supposed attraction to men, along with him being shown openly flirting with 2 different women. It just seems awfully convenient to be able to tell and not show where m/m is concerned and then to show m/f where it isn’t even necessary.

“You just hate that a woman got in the way of your two white dudes kissing!”

↘️ If Sylvie was the main character and she had pretty good chemistry with a woman, and then all of a sudden a male variant of her was introduced and a romance was forced between them, I’d be pretty pissed about that too. I don’t want Sylvie out of the picture! My ideal scenario would be her and Loki being Chaos Twins. And I don’t even want Lokius to be canon! Again, my ideal scenario would be Chaos Twins with their best friend/handler Mobi. This isn’t about her getting in the way of another pairing, it’s about how this pairing in particular is just Not It.

“You just want Loki for yourself, you’d be mad at anyone he was paired with!”

↘️ No I… really don’t? I’m gonna get mauled for saying this, but I don’t even find Loki particularly attractive. Tom? Sure. But Loki? Mmmm… not exactly. Aesthetically pleasing maybe. Intellectually I know that he’s pretty hot, but he doesn’t do anything for me :/ I also really really hate reader inserts sooo yeah lol. And if you’ve seen my blog you’d know I ship him with a lot of people, both male and female.

“Sylvie is her own person so it’s not really selfcest!”

↘️ Except the writers have gone out of their way to make it clear that they are the same person. Not exactly the same, but they’re similar enough that it’s clear that they’re versions of each other. Plus they canonically have the same parents, very very similar DNA, and essentially the same basic origin (adopted, Asgard, etc). They’re not exact clones of one another but they very much are slightly different models of the same person.

“Selfcest isn’t the same as incest!”

↘️ No, it’s even worse lmao. Imagine two people that share parents, DNA, and some life experiences, but they’re even closer than twins…. Lol yeah.

“Ok but you gotta admit selfcest is pretty in character for Loki lololol”

↘️ No it’s not… One of my favourite things about Loki in all 6 movies is that he never had a love interest. Never even a hint of a love interest. And even in this show he makes it clear that he’s never really been in love before- never had anything “real”. And, this considered, people saying that it makes sense that his first and only canon love interest would be a version of himself implies that he’s incredibly narcissistic. Which, despite what some shitty writers try to tell us, he’s not. His narcissism is performative. It’s posturing. He’s incredibly insecure and self-loathing and that ends up manifesting as violence in some instances, and that’s his whole problem. The exact opposite of narcissism. Quite honestly, Loki would never trust or even like himself enough to be romantically interested.

“You just want Loki whump, you hate to see him happy!”

↘️ I do enjoy Loki whump on occasion, but at this point we maxed out on the whump meter about 3 movies back… I absolutely want this poor man to be happy, for once in his damn life. And the show gives us everything but that. Just like people said Ragnarok gave us a happy Loki, when in reality all we got was a humiliated Loki that was beaten down even further to build other characters up and give the audience a laughs… which is pretty much exactly what’s happening here. Not all the time! There’s some super progressive moments for his character development and mental health, but overall? The show isn’t giving us a happy Loki at all, and Sylki definitely hasn’t resulted in a happier Loki so far.

“They have great chemistry though!”

↘️ I’m sure any two characters could have good chemistry if the writing team put 85% percent of their effort for the whole show into squishing a man and woman together and making them kiss, even going so far as to build the plot around it, when they could’ve spent their time and energy improving other aspects of the series.

“Ok you have to admit the blanket scene was pretty cute!”

↘️ Yes, I will admit that! It was adorable actually! But given the myriad of issues I listed above, one cute scene isn’t enough to make me hate the ship any less.

#an anti sylki response handbook #anti sylki #anti sylvie #to an extent #it’s not even really anti sylvie but I know her stans are gonna burn me at the stake if I don’t tag it #loki series negativity #loki spoilers #anti loki series #loki series spoilers #lokius #kinda but not rly cause I don’t even ship them in canon #in fanworks absolutely but do I want it canon? nah #anyway…#I’ll just leave this here and go #wanna also say that if you ship sylki then great! good for you #this is just an extensive list of reasons as to why I don’t #and also why the commen pro s*lki arguments don’t work for me

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mistressemmedi · 3 years

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Måneskin: "Different from whom?"

Greetings from Miley Cyrus - phenomenal numbers.

The streams of Zitti e Buoni are growing by the second, and ahead of Muse, on the top of the English charts, twelfth in the Spotify Global Chart. We almost tripled followers after Rotterdam (from 1.4 to 3.3 million, ed). Contagious and universal madness: T-shirts and merchandise sold out in 10 minutes. Like records, tickets for a tour that adds dates and expands on maps. They are even looking for us in festivals where the Rolling Stones have played. - Thomas

After the whole cocaine scandal that was started against us from France, which was later denied by my drug test, in Spain there people have been making murals with my face saying "No drugs". Some tweets made us laugh: «Congratulations, Italy! I have never been so sure that four people have fucked each other ". Miley Cyrus started following us. "You are great". “You are more” . - Damiano

From rags to riches - what a story

It was only 2016, and we were playing in restaurants, on the streets, in via del Corso (famous street in Rome). Damiano without a microphone, Thomas's guitar with broken strings, Ethan drummed on a cajón. At the occupations of the high schools in Rome (Kennedy, Virgilio, Mamiani) we had our first gigs and half an hour of fame, between those who criticized us and those who said "these guys are so cool". One of the rare times in which they offered to pay us to play - 50 euros each - we offered that money to those after us, in exchange for the chance to play during their time slow, as we knew there would have been a bigger crowd. We already understood then how it worked. That visibility was worth more than the money. We still think so ». - Victoria

The intimacy of rock - Choice of a genre

Music allows is this miracle which allows one to talk about very personal and private topics, even difficult and delicate ones. They are and remain deeply yours, but at the same time they become a confession that reaches a wider audience, and in this passage which is like a delivery, they also find their place in you, their elaboration. They are overcome, they are accepted. One moment it feels aggressive, one moment later a (soft) ballad. It's very cathartic. - Damiano

Against panic - The stage as therapy

I have suffered a lot from anxiety and panic attacks, it is a problem that I have worked on thanks to a course of psychotherapy, to my friends and family. Playing has helped me not to let myself be paralyzed by my fears, not to be limited in my private and professional life. I have learned to accept, to live with this side of me. I don't hide it. I no longer feel ashamed. - Victoria

This belief that only crazy people go to the psychologist is widespread ignorance. Nobody is born learned. And it is often difficult to understand why we are here, let alone the derivation and direction of our desires. It is a long and legitimate journey towards one's clarity. - Damiano

Essere fuori di testa – Ma diversi da loro (Be out of your mind - But different from them)

Already feeling a strong passion for something that is not a 'regular' profession but an artistic language, it puts you on a level where you're an anomaly, and while you're neither superior nor inferior to others, it places you in the condition of what breaks the mold but you're also being at a loss, leaving it to you to be bold and to take risks, hoping that they will pay off and land you somewhere. "What good is it if you don't stand out on your own?". You want to give it an aesthetic to your artistic dream, but to others it boils down to " You dress differently! You must be gay! ”, I'm 22 now and it makes me laugh, but at 17 it had an effect on me too. - Damiano

The beauty of being unique - Of believing in that and defending it

After all, we are all different not because we want to be alternative but because really no one is the same. Justice is being judged on what you do and not what you are. Justice is equality, respect, beauty. - Ethan

Fluid sexuality - Pride is freedom

We appreciate heels on men, we kiss each other, we have an open, extended mind, and we are proud of it. The horizons become vast, beyond the oppression of conservative families. With information on the web, knowledge is enriched and with it the possibility that minorities will be fewer and fewer, because majorities will be fewer and fewer. This will lower the volume to insults and bullying. If social networks can reach a village of 50 souls to reveal to someone, who is afraid of the darkness, that someone has felt that same fear.. There is no longer the need to give it a name, to define that "something" to fear, to brand it with labels that only limit you. Definitions have always had this effect on me. Gender should not even be considered in a person's judgment. Let alone orientation ". - Victoria

Sexism - A culture to be dismantled

Emma (Italian singer) dropped the bomb:" When I went to Eurovision, they insulted me over a pair of shorts. Damiano - half naked and in heels - was never criticized ". The judgment against women is constant, ferocious, and demeaning (if I have a lot of sex I'm cool but Vic a whore, where I show myself strong I'm a leader she is domineering and pain in the ass, who is successful because only because of her looks [and not the hard work she puts in]). As a male I am privileged, the harassment I suffer is not comparable to that experienced by a woman, the comments on my aesthetics are focused only on my aesthetics and do not insinuate anything about my professionalism and my competence, while women are victims of this kind of thinking in a systemic way. But I did find myself in a situation, out of nowhere, with someone who, pulling close to her for a selfie, started licking my face ... "What do you want, did you ask me?" Consent exists, and it is a must ». - Damiano

To grow as a person - The only rule to follow

For me, to conform is the total opposite of educating oneself, and the asphyxiation of one's expression (of freedom). Fortunately, I did not suffer heavy bullying, to the point where I felt I needed to change to adapt to how others saw me. But the matrix of who I am and the aggression that marks me is the same. If I'm a kid who dances and loves dolls, then allow me the freedom to do so. I used to be a kid who wanted long hair and played with Barbies. My friends, as a teenager, looked my long hair and teased me: "You have to find yourself a girl with a short hair to make up for it". My grandparents took the dolls away from me and said: “Stop it, they're not for you” ». - Ethan

“I was six and I already could not tolerate the distinctions between masculine and feminine. I've always had strong ideas about how I wanted to be. I refused things typically defined as feminine as a child, and they made fun of me for skating, for playing soccer, for not wearing skirts, for giving myself the chance to be as I wanted to be. I suffered a little, as I was bullied, but I had courage to stay true to myself, and today thanks to that courage I know that I could have been much more hurt, or I would have risked leaving the most important decision to others: the one about being just me". - Victoria

Love - music and girlfriends

I've been married to music for the past 20 years. I cannot wait to celebrate our golden wedding anniversary. - Ethan

Everyone goes through their own experiences, sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad, but it's never other people's business." - Thomas

When, for the first time, I developed feelings and attraction for a girl it was a bit disorienting because I had never had the courage to go beyond the limitations I had imposed on myself. For society, being heterosexual is the norm and therefore often one automatically pegs himself in that way, giving up the freedom to experience many different shades and facets of love. Once I got over the initial insecurity of having to question one's own certainties, I lived my sexuality in a very natural and free way, as it should be for everyone. - Victoria

I had paparazzi under my house morning and night. So, after four years of relationship, I finally revealed her name. I still have the paparazzi under my house morning and night, but at least I don't have to hide anything anymore. - Damiano

The value of the group - Protecting each other

But the real relationship, the real family, is between us. Our band. We believed in it from the first day, even before calling ourselves Måneskin (moonlight in Danish), even before Ethan drew a giant moon, on the poster for our first concert. We share everything, even the pain of the tragedy of Seid Visin, who committed suicide at 20 because he was a victim of racism. Being a group is what we should all do together: stay united and not retreat in the slightest in the face of abuses generated by a distorted vision of someone "being different|. - Thomas

Non ho l’età – like Gigliola (It references Gigliola Cinquetti who won both Sanremo and Eurovision with her song "Non ho l’età" which translates to Not old enough)

Before us, the only one to win Sanremo and Eurovision together was Gigliola Cinquetti (in 1964). Is there is something for which I feel I am not yet old enough for? No, honestly no. Maybe for kids. I'll be honest, I'm not enough to be a dad. - Damiano

Reached the sky - What fears still remain

We are more than in the dream, we have conquered the dream. To fly high this high, there is the risk is to fall and get hurt, but we will try not to end up like Icarus, who burns his wings with the sun. Everything is in our hands. And this - somewhat presumptuously - reassures us rather than frighten us ". - Damiano

(ORIGINAL INTERVIEW IN ITALIAN)

[Please note that I have changed some words or structure sentence, trying to make it so that the interview made more sense lol - I skipped the first two paragraphs, which was basically the interviewer gushing over how pretty the band is lmao (relatable).

Any mistakes in the translation are sorely mine, nothing was proofread, so apologies in advance]

#maneskin #ethan torchio #damiano david #victoria de angelis #thomas raggi #i'm off to drink some wine lol

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alighieri-sparda · 4 years

Note

Hi again. I'm completely in love with your posts !! Could you please make Vergil, Dante, Nero and V reacting to s/o wearing a black lingerie?

DMC Boys + S/O wearing black lingerie

➤ Masterlist | Rules

Damn, I took so long for this one. I’m so sorry. :( But thanks for staying here. I truly appreciate.

I must confess this work has been in my drafts for a while without any progress, because I had literally no ideas. Yeah, your little boy here is still passing through a terrible creative block, but he’s trying his best.

Since you haven’t mentioned any pronouns, I decided to use our well known friend Gender Neutral S/O. Hope you like it, my dear. Thanks for trusting your desires on me.

WARNING: Sexual content under the cut. Pretty 18+, I must say. Gender Neutral S/O.

Dante

He’s probably the one who bought them this lingerie in the first place. Dante is a huge fan of his S/O wearing this kind of garments, and once he realized they were enjoying this idea as much as he was, he started to give them some lingeries as a gift eventually — when he has the money to do so, of course.

They’ve already tried a few lingeries through their relationship with Dante, but none of them was black. It’s not like it was intentional or anything, Dante just forgot the black color was a valuable option. Although once Dante saw that specific blackened piece of clothing, his eyes sparkled. They’d look divine on that.

And when his S/O welcomes him after a boring day at the Devil May Cry office wearing the said lingerie, his thought proved to be more than correct. The smirk on Dante’s lips comes up with an amused chuckle and mischievous hands moving right to their hips.

“Glad you liked this one,” He says, already feeling their curves gently coated with silk fabric under his playful fingertips. “Why don’t you lay down on the bed, huh? I wanna see it closer.”

Exploring their body with his hands and mouth has never been more fun than now. Dante is extra — and unbelievably — careful with his actions due to the delicacy of the fabric, but it doesn’t mean he holds back. Although the slowness of his movements is impressive, his usual intensity is still there to make his S/O gasp as he touches and tastes the sweetness of their skin.

It doesn’t take long until the lingerie is dropped on the floor. Dante does enjoy the view, but what he truly wants is actually underneath that.

Nero

To be honest, Nero hasn’t thought about the possibility of his S/O wearing this type of garment at first. So, when they suddenly call him to the bedroom and surprise their boyfriend by wearing black lingerie, he’s clearly stunned. The excited smirk on his lips couldn’t be helped though.

Nero wants to ask why and when they decided to buy that lingerie, but it doesn’t matter at the moment. The only thing he says is “You’re hot as fuck on this”, and then Nero pulls them to a heated make out in the bedroom. If they’re ready and waiting for him, why would he waste time just looking at them?

He surely wants to see them wearing lingerie more often. But this conversation will just happen later because they both are pretty busy now.

They don’t take long to realize that they’ve awakened a beast. His S/O can tell it for sure since the grip on their hips is tighter than usual and they haven’t been pressed against the wall with that eagerness in a while. At this point, between deep kisses and teasing touches, they wished this idea had crossed their mind sooner.

Despite the excitement Nero is feeling to go further with what they both started, something inside his mind convinced him to become teasy. His touches aren’t exactly gentle, though he’s not yet being rough; through the eager and heated kisses, stroking his S/O’s sex over the silk clothing doesn’t seem to be a bad idea at all.

Nero just takes that lingerie out of his S/O’s body when the piece of clothing is totally messed up with their fluids.

Our lovely poet is still learning the most various things about the world. He’s not a naive person at all, just an inexperienced person who is barely a month old; so, when his S/O shows up wearing black lingerie, V can’t help expressing his surprise… and interest.

“Black does suit you, my love.” He says softly as he runs his curious and amazed eyes through their body. “What an unexpected yet wonderful view you’re giving me now. Can you show it more closely for me?”

V has always been a person who enjoys observing and appreciating the divine view of his S/O’s beauty. With this recent addition to their relationship, he doesn’t make any efforts to hide how his sight was being blessed by their body seductively coated with that black silk garment. The smirk on his lips and the amused look on his green eyes are enough to make his S/O try more lingeries in other opportunities.

But just looking is not enough for V. He also wants to touch them, to see them gradually getting bare and worship each part of their stunning body, which doesn’t have any part that wasn’t explored by this curious man at the point they both lay down on the bed.

Like Dante, V puts a lot of delicacy and gentleness on his touch. From measured and deep kisses to intimate nibbles and smooches at their inner thighs, everything feels so heavenly and sweet, like he has a deity sprawled under him. The favorite places for his hands to rest and grip are their thighs and waist.

He keeps his S/O’s body wearing that beautiful lingerie until he’s done with foreplay.

Vergil

Holy shit, this GIF. Look at this beautiful smirk.

He’s not as innocent as his only-human part, even if he’s almost as inexperienced. Vergil is aware of the whole thing about this type of clothing, and when he found out about its existence, the only thing that crossed this devil’s mind was the image of his S/O wearing one of those. But Vergil didn’t find the courage to tell them he wanted to see them like that.

But he got lucky. During a quiet night in their apartment, Vergil gets his reading section on his armchair interrupted by his S/O’s body suddenly climbing on his lap, coated by a seductive black silk garment; for a moment, Vergil considers the possibility that his S/O might be able to read minds. Well, he doesn’t have the time to wonder about it and doesn’t want to either, because a more interesting thing is about to occupy his mind at the moment.

Before saying anything, Vergil prefers to express his amusement by kissing his S/O. His hands explore the sensation of the delicate fabric over their soft skin as they run through their body, paying extra attention to their thighs and waist. Once the kiss is going further and deeper, Vergil pushes their hips against his lap to sit them on it.

His touches are passionate and teasing, as usual. He’s obviously excited to see their beautifully dressed body at its completeness, sprawled under his touch, but he cares about impressions. Demonstrating too much eagerness and lack of self-control is out of character for him.

Once they pull out from the kiss, Vergil whispers in their ear as he gently grabs and squeezes their hips: “You look divine, just like I imagined you’d do.” They can’t see his face, but Vergil has a wild smirk on his lips.

This time, the lingerie stayed on their body throughout the entire act. It wasn’t hard for Vergil to find a way to make them ride him without taking the garment off.

#i am REALLY sorry for this #you deserve something better but i unfortunately can't make it happen :')#dmc #devil may cry #dmc headcanons #devil may cry headcanons #dmc dante #dmc nero #dmc v #dmc vergil #dante x reader #nero x reader #v x reader #vergil x reader

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justmenoworries · 4 years

Text

Not Up For Interpretation - An Essay On Nonbinary - Erasure

(Trigger Warning: Misgendering, Transphobia, Nonbinary-phobia)

If you’ve been following me for a while, you probably know this was a long time coming. I’ve made several posts about my frustrations concerning this topic and how much it hurt me just how socially accepted erasing an entire identity still is. While representation marches on and things have become better for nonbinary people as a whole, we still battle with a lot of prejudice - both intentional and unintentional.

In this essay, I want to discuss just how our identities are being erased almost daily, why that is harmful and hurtful and what we all can do to change that.

Chapters:

What does Non-binary mean?

Nonbinary- representation in media

So what’s the problem?

How do we fix it?

1. What Does Non-binary Mean?

Non-binary is actually an umbrella term. It includes pretty much every gender-identity that’s neither one or the other so to speak, for example, agender.

Agender means feeling detachment from the gender spectrum in general. If you’re agender, you most likely feel a distance to the concept of gender as a whole, that it doesn’t define you as a person.

There are many identities that classify under non-binary: There’s gender-fluid (you feel you have a gender, but it’s not one gender specifically and can change), demi-gender (identifying as a gender partially, but not completely) and many others.

Sometimes, multiple non-binary identities can mix and match.

Most non-binary people use they/them pronouns, but like with so many things, it varies.

Some nonbinary-people (like me) go by two pairs of pronouns. I go by both she/her and they/them, because it’s what feels most comfortable at the moment. But who knows, maybe in the future I’ll switch to they/them exclusively or expand to he/him.

There is no one defining non-binary experience. Nb-people are just as varied and different as binary people, who go by one specific gender.

There are non-binary people who choose to go solely by she/her or he/him and that’s okay too. It doesn’t make them any more or less non-binary and their identity is still valid.

If your head’s buzzing a bit by now: That’s okay. It’s a complicated topic and no one expects you to understand all of it in one chapter of one essay.

Just know this: If a person identifies as non-binary, you should respect their decision and use the pronouns they go with.

It’s extremely hurtful to refer to someone who already told you that they use they/them pronouns with she/her or he/him, or use they/them to refer to a person who uses she/her.

Think about it like using a trans-person’s deadname: It’s rude, it’s harmful and it shows complete disrespect for the person.

Non-binary people have existed for a very long time. The concept isn’t new. The idea that there are only two genders, with every other identity being an aberration to the norm, is largely a western idea, spread through colonialism.

The Native American people use “Two-Spirit” to describe someone who identifies neither as a man nor a woman. The term itself is relatively new, but the concept of a third gender is deeply rooted in many Native American cultures.

(Author’s Note: If you are not Native American, please do not use it. That’s cultural appropriation.)

In India, the existence of a third gender has always been acknowledged and there are many terms specifically for people who don’t identify with the gender that was assigned to them at birth.

If you’re interested in learning more about non-binary history and non-binary identities around the world, I’d recommend visiting these websites:

https://nonbinary.wiki/wiki/History_of_nonbinary_gender

https://nonbinary.wiki/wiki/Gender-variant_identities_worldwide

https://thetempest.co/2020/02/01/history/the-history-of-nonbinary-genders-is-longer-than-you-think/

https://www.teenvogue.com/story/gender-variance-around-the-world

Also, maybe consider giving this book a try:

Nonbinary Gender Identities: History, Culture, Resources by Charlie Mcnabb

2. Non-binary Representation In Media

The representation of non-binary people in mainstream media hasn’t been... great, to put it mildly.

Representation, as we all know, is important.

Not only does it give minorities a chance to see themselves in media and feel heard and acknowledged. It also normalizes them.

For example, seeing a black Disney-princess was a huge deal for many black little girls, because they could finally say there was someone there who looked like them. They could see that being white wasn’t a necessity to be a Disney princess.

Seeing a canonically LGBT+ character in a children’s show teaches kids that love is love, no matter what gender you’re attracted to. At the same time, older LGBT+ viewers will see themselves validated and heard in a movie that features on-screen LGBT+ heroes.

There’s been some huge steps in the right direction in the last few years representation-wise.

Not only do we have more LGBT+ protagonists and characters in general, we’ve also begun to question and call out harmful or bigoted portrayals of the community in media, such as “Bury Your Gays” or the “Depraved Homosexual”.

With that being said: Let’s take a look at how Non-binary representation holds up in comparison, shall we?

This is Double Trouble, from the children’s show “She-Ra And The Princesses Of Power”.

They identify as non-binary and use they/them pronouns. They’re also a slimy, duplicitous lizard-person who can change their shape at will.

Um, yeah.

Thanks, but no thanks.

Did I mention they’re also the only non-binary character in the entire show? And that they’re working with a genocidal dictator in most of the episodes they’re in?

Yikes.

Let’s look at another example.

These three (in order of appearance) are Stevonnie, Smoky Quartz and Shep. Three characters appearing in the kid’s show “Steven Universe” and it’s epilogue series “Steven Universe: Future”.

All of them identify as non-binary and use they/them as pronouns.

Stevonnie and Smoky Quartz are the result of a boy and a girl being fused together through weird alien magic.

Shep is a regular human, but they only appeared in one episode. In an epilogue series that only hardcore fans actually watched.

Well, I mean...

One out of three isn’t that bad, right?

Maybe we should pick an example from a series for older viewers.

Say hello to Doppelganger, a non-binary superhuman who goes by they/them, from the Amazon-series “The Boys”.

They’re working for a corrupt superhero-agency and use their power of shape-shifting to trick people who pose a threat to said agency into having sex with them. And then blackmail those people with footage of said sex.

....

Do I even need to say it?

If you’ve paid attention during the listing of these examples, you might have noticed a theme.

Namely that characters canonically identifying as non-binary are either

supernatural in some way, shape or form,

barely have a presence in the piece of media they’re in,

both.

Blink-and-you-miss-it-manner of representation aside, the majority of these characters fall squarely under what we call “Othering”.

“Othering” describes the practice of portraying minorities as supernatural creatures or otherwise inhuman. Or to say it bluntly: As “The Other”.

“Othering” is a pretty heinous method. Not only does it portray minorities as inherently abnormal and “different in a bad way”. It also goes directly against what representation is actually for: Normalizing.

As a general rule of thumb: If your piece of media has humans in it, but the only representation of non-white, non-straight people are explicitly inhuman... yeah, that’s bad.

So is there absolutely no positive representation for us out there?

Not quite.

As rare as human non-binary characters in media are to find, they do exist.

Here we have Bloodhound! A non-binary human hunter who uses they/them pronouns, from the game “Apex Legends”.

It’s been confirmed by the devs and the voice actress that they’re non-binary.

Nice!

These are Frisk (bottom) and Chara (top) from the game “Undertale”. While their exact gender identity hasn’t been disclosed, they both canonically use they/them pronouns, so it’s somewhere on the non-binary spectrum.

Two human children who act as the protagonist (Frisk) and antagonist (Chara), depending on how you play the game. (Interpretations vary on the antagonist/protagonist-thing, to say the least.)

Cool!

......

And, yep, that’s it.

As my little demonstration here showed, non-binary representation in media is rare. Good non-binary representation is even rarer.

Which is why those small examples of genuinely good representation are so important to the Non-binary community!

It’s hard enough to have to prove you exist. It’s even harder to prove your existence is not abnormal or unnatural.

If you’d like to further educate yourself on representation, it’s impact on society and why it matters, perhaps take a second to read through these articles:

https://www.criticalhit.net/opinion/representation-media-matters/

https://www.pbs.org/newshour/arts/why-on-screen-representation-matters-according-to-these-teens

https://jperkel.github.io/sciwridiversity2020/

https://www.forbes.com/sites/quora/2019/05/22/why-is-equal-representation-in-media-important/?sh=25f2ccc92a84

https://www.theodysseyonline.com/why-representation-the-media-matters

3. So What’s The Problem?

The problem, as is the case with so many things in the world, is prejudice.

Actually, that’s not true.

There’s not a problem, there are multiple problems. And their names are prejudice, ignorance and bigotry.

Remember how I said human non-binary representation is rare?

Yeah, very often media-fans don’t help.

Let’s take for example, the aforementioned Frisk and Chara from “Undertale”.

Despite the game explicitly using they/them to refer to both characters multiple times, the majority of players somehow got it into their heads that Frisk’s and Chara’s gender was “up for interpretation”.

There is a huge amount of fan art straight-up misgendering both characters and portraying them as binary and using only he/him or she/her pronouns.

The most egregious examples are two massively popular fan-animated web shows: “Glitchtale”, by Camila Cuevas and “Underverse” by Jael Peñaloza.

Both series are very beloved by the Undertale-fanbase and even outside of it. Meaning for many people, those two shows might be their first introduction to “Undertale” and it’s two non-binary human characters.

Take a wild guess what both Camila and Jael did with Frisk and Chara.

Underverse, X-Tale IV:

(Transcript: “Frisk lied to me in the worst possible way... I... I will never forgive him.”)

Underverse, X-Tale V:

(Transcript: “I-It’s Chara... and it’s a BOY.”)

Glitchtale, My Promise:

(Transcript: (Referring to Frisk) “I’m not scared of an angry boy anymore.”)

Glitchtale, Game Over Part 1:

(Transcript: (Referring to Chara) “It’s ok little boy.”)

This... this isn’t okay.

Not only do both of these pieces of fan-art misgender two non-binary characters, the creators knew beforehand that Frisk and Chara use they/them-pronouns, but made the conscious choice to ignore that.

To be fair, in a video discussing “Underverse”, Jael said that only X-Tale Frisk and Chara, the characters you see in the Underverse-examples above, are male, while the characters Frisk and Chara from the main game remained non-binary and used they/them (time-stamp 10:34).

Still, that doesn’t erase the fact that Jael made up alternate versions of two non-binary characters specifically to turn them male. Or that, while addressing the issue, Jael was incredibly dismissive and even mocked the people who felt hurt by her turning two non-binary characters male. Jael also went on to make a fairly non-binary-phobic joke in the video, in which she equated gender identities beyond male and female to identifying as an object.

Jael (translated): “I don’t care if people say the original Frisk and Chara are male, female, helicopters, chairs, dogs or cats, buildings, clouds...”

That’s actually a very common joke among transphobes, if not to say the transphobe-joke:

“Oh, you identify as X? Well then I identify as an attack helicopter!”

If you’re trans, chances are you’ve heard this one, or a variation of it, a million times before.

I certainly have.

I didn’t laugh then and I’m not laughing now.

(Author’s note: I might be angry at both of them for what they did, but I do not, under any circumstances, support the harassment of creators. If you’re thinking about sending either Jael or Camila hate-mail - don’t. It won’t help.)

Jael’s reaction is sadly common in the Undertale fandom. Anyone speaking up against Chara’s and Frisk’s identity being erased is immediately bludgeoned with the “up for interpretation”-argument, despite that not once being the case in the game.

And even with people who do it right and portray Frisk and Chara as they/them, you’ll have dozens of commenters swarming the work with sentences among the lines of “Oh but I think Frisk is a boy/girl! And Chara is a girl/boy!”

By the way, this kind of thing only happens to Frisk and Chara.

Every other character in “Undertale” is referred to and portrayed with their proper pronouns of she/her or he/him.

But not the characters who go by they/them.

Their gender is “up for interpretation”.

Because obviously, their identity couldn’t possibly be canonically non-binary.

Sadly, Frisk and Chara are not alone in this.

Remember Bloodhound?

And how I said they’d been confirmed as non-binary and using they/them pronouns by both the creators and the voice actress?

It seems for many players, that too translated to “up for interpretation”.

(Transcript: “does it matter what they call him? He, her, it, they toaster oven, it doesn’t matter”)

(Transcript: “I’m like 90 % sure Bloodhound is a dude because he could just sound like a girl and by their age that I’m assuming looks around 10-12 because I’ve known many males who have sounded like a female when they were younger”)

(Transcript: “I don’t care it will always be a He. F*ck that non-binary bullsh*t.”)

(Transcript: “Bloodhound is clearly female.”)

(Transcript: “I’m not calling a video game character they/them”)

(Transcript: “exactly. The face was never fully shown neither was the gender so I’d say it means that the player is Bloodhound. So it’s your gender and you refer to “him” as yourself. It’s like a self insertion in my eyes.”)

So, let me get this straight:

If a character, even a player character, uses she/her or he/him, you can accept it, no questions asked.

But when a character uses they/them, suddenly their identity and gender are “up for interpretation”?

This attitude is also widely prevalent in real life.

Many languages only include pronouns for men and women, with no third option available. Non-binary people are often forced to make up their own terms, because their language doesn’t provide one.

Non-binary people often don’t fit within other people’s ideas of gender, so they get excluded altogether. Worse, non-binary people are often the victims of misgendering, denial of their identity or even straight-up violence when coming out.

People will often tell us that we look like a certain gender, so we should only use one set of gendered pronouns. Never mind that that’s not what we want. Never mind that that’s not who we are.

Non-binary people are also largely omitted from legal documentation and studies. We cannot identify as non-binary at our workplace, because using they/them pronouns is considered “unprofessional”. We don’t have our own bathrooms like men and women do. Our gender is seen as less valid than male and female, so even that basic thing is denied to us. I’ve had to use the women’s restroom my entire life, because if I go into a male restroom, I’ll be yelled at or made fun off or simply get told I took the wrong door. It’s extremely uncomfortable for me and I wish I didn’t have to do it.

And since non-binary people aren’t seen as “real transgender-people”, we often don’t receive the medical care we need. This often renders us unable to feel good within our bodies, because the treatment and help we get is wildly inadequate.

It’s especially horrible for intersex people (people who are born with sex characteristics that don’t fit solely into the male/female category) who are often forced to change their bodies to fit within the male/female gender binary.

And you better believe each of those problems is increased ten-fold for non-binary people of color.

We are ignored and dismissed as “confused”, because of who we are.

Representation is a way for Non-binary people to show the world they exist, that they’re here and that they too have stories to tell.

But how can we, when every character that represents us is either othered, barely there or gets taken away from us?

We are not “up for interpretation”.

Neither are the characters in media who share our identity.

And it’s time to stop pretending we ever were.

For more information about Non-Binary Erasure and how harmful it is, you can check out these articles:

https://everydayfeminism.com/2015/08/common-non-binary-erasure/

https://www.dailydot.com/irl/nonbinary-people-racism/

https://nonbinary.wiki/wiki/Nonbinary_erasure

https://traj.openlibhums.org/articles/10.16995/traj.422/

https://medium.com/an-injustice/everyday-acts-of-non-binary-erasure-49ee970654fb

https://medium.com/national-center-for-institutional-diversity/the-invisible-labor-of-liberating-non-binary-identities-in-higher-education-3f75315870ec

https://musingsofanacademicasexual.wordpress.com/2015/05/11/dear-sirmadam-a-commentary-on-non-binary-erasure/

4. How Do We Fix It?

Well, first things first: Stop acting like we don’t exist.

And kindly stop other people from doing it too.

We are a part of the LGBT+ community and we deserve to be acknowledged, no matter what our pronouns are.

Address non-binary people with the right pronouns. Don’t argue with them about their identity, don’t comment on how much you think they look like a boy or a girl. Just accept them and be respectful.

If a non-binary person tells you they have two sets of pronouns, for example he/him and they/them, don’t just use one set of pronouns. That can come off as disingenuous. Alternate between the pronouns, don’t leave one or the other out. It’ll probably be hard at first, but if you keep it up, you’ll get used to it pretty quickly.

If you’re witnessing someone harass a non-binary person over their identity, step in and help them.

And please, don’t partake in non-binary erasure in media fandoms.

Don’t misgender non-binary characters, don’t “speculate” on what you think their gender might be. You already know their gender and it’s non-binary. It costs exactly 0 $ to be a decent human being and accept that.

Support Non-Binary people by educating yourself about them and helping to normalize and integrate their identity.

In fact, here’s a list of petitions, organizations and articles who will help you do just that:

https://www.change.org/p/collegeboard-let-students-use-their-preferred-name-on-collegeboard-9abad81a-0fdf-435c-8fca-fe24a5df6cc7?source_location=topic_page

6 Ways to Support Your Non-Binary Child

7 Non-Negotiables for Supporting Trans & Non-Binary Students in Your Classroom

If Your Partner Just Came Out As Non-Binary, Here’s How To Support Them

How to Support Your Non-Binary Employees, Colleagues and Friends

Ko-fi page for the Nonbinary Wiki

The Sylvia Rivera Project, an organization who aims to give low-income and non-white transgender, intersex and non-binary people a voice

The Anti Violence Project “empowers lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, and HIV-affected communities and allies to end all forms of violence through organizing and education, and supports survivors through counseling and advocacy."

The Trans Lifeline, a hotline for transgender people by transgender people

Tl:DR: Non-Binary representation is important. Non-Binary people still suffer from society at large not acknowledging our existence and forcing us to conform. Don’t be part of that problem by taking away what little representation we have. Educate yourself and do better instead. We deserve to be seen and heard.

#non-binary #agender #demigender #gender identity #essay #erasure #lgbt representation #misgendering #undertale #she ra spop #apex bloodhound #doppelganger #steven universe

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boys-night · 3 years

Text

Mickey and Ian - communication, sex, and relationship styles, post 11x07

Here’s my take on how Ian and Mickey relate to sexuality and relationship styles, thinking mainly about 11x07, but also looking more broadly at the series and including HoS. If you’re not interested in incorporating 11x07 in your version of canon, ignore this! I enjoyed 11x07 but I understand people have different ways of seeing Ian and Mickey’s relationship. I’m also doing the classic meta thing of taking seriously exaggerated/comic/contradictory elements in the show because that’s how I roll.

Super long post under cut.

I’ve been reading Sexuality: A Graphic Guide by Meg-John Barker and Jules Scheele which is where a lot of the following ideas and terminology come from. I’ve also been looking at Meg-John Barker’s free relationship zine on their website rewritingtherules.com. I highly recommend their work, including the podcast they have with Justin Hancock, The Meg-John and Justin podcast (although MJ has left now and it’s called Culture, Sex, Relationships, but you can check out the backlog!)

They think about sex and relationship styles using various models including monogamy/polyamory, allosexuality/asexuality, romance/aromance etc. They look at these different facets of sexuality/relationship styles as complicated continua rather than binaries which shift over time. They also write about sexuality on an action/identity spectrum, communication strategies around relationships styles, and the windows into relationships. Here, I’m looking at all of these things thinking about Ian and Mickey’s relationship and as individuals within the relationship.

The monogamy/polyamory continuum

I’ve seen a bit of debate about how to label Mickey and Ian’s relationship on the monogamy/polyamory spectrum and I think it’s a pretty complex question especially considering those labels mean different things to different people and that relationships shift a lot over time. While labels like these can be useful, they can also be rigid and restrictive in their own ways.

Some terms that come close-ish to what they say they’ve decided in 11x07 are monoamorous and polysexual, considering they aren’t at all interested in romantic connections outside of each other but are up for sex (in a broad sense) with other people. But these terms don’t account for the agreement that they’re only exploring sex with other people when they’re together.

As people have pointed out, some of the boundary setting around exactly how they’re involving other people in the relationship is left off-screen, and also they’re not necessarily going to form identities around how they act in one episode. I’ve also seen people suggest reading their relationship style as monagamish and/or that what they do with other people is part of kink/play. I think these make sense in different ways and that in 11x07 Ian and Mickey definitely focus more on what they do (action) rather than who they are (identity) in regards to monogamy/polyamory.

In 11x01, Ian’s focus is more on identity. He sets up a binary choice between being monagamous or not in their relationship. 11x07 indicates they’ve moved through off-screen discussion into a much more personalised arrangement with more focus on actions allowing for flexibility over time. In 11x07, we see them agree on rules: sex in a broad sense is allowed outside of the primary partnership, love isn’t. They keep negotiations ongoing (e.g. in the bedroom, in the furniture store), and there is an indication that these rules could change over time.

I’d love to read/explore more about the ways in which this approach has changed over the course of the whole show. At the start of their relationship, definitely prior to s4, they have much more implicit rules about who they can have sex with, and those implicit rules become problematic in s5, when they realise they’re not completely on the same page regarding them. They bring up clashing ideas around the rules when Mickey’s leaving prison in s10 too. In s11, their relationship becomes more intentional, with these rules stated aloud rather than assumed.

The action/identity continuum in regards to gay sexuality

On a slight tangent, I think there’s a comparison to be made here to how they relate to sexuality (specifically gender of attraction) and the idea of gay identity, which seems to develop in the other direction. For Mickey especially, for a long time having sex with men was something he did rather than something he was, and that’s gradually somewhat shifted over the course of the show. There’s so much more that can be explored here, for instance, about how the action-based approach is much more acceptable within the hyper-masculine environment he was raised. Terry also approaches it this way when talking about prison sex, for example. According to this very oppressive social script, having sex with men in certain circumstances can be OK but claiming that as part of who you are is absolutely not.

But I also want to stress, I don’t think either approach to gay sexuality, looking at it through actions or through identity, is inherently better or worse. These different lenses on sexuality also intersect with class and levels of education. As explored in Sexuality: A Graphic Guide, the identity approach is also relatively a very modern way of seeing sexuality (late 20th century). Gender of attraction is also only one facet of sexuality (which includes amount of sex you want, type of sex, sexual roles etc.) but its now often regarded as the only or most important facet of sexuality. The identity-based approach is much more acceptable within the more aspirational/middle class settings they interact with in s10 and s11. In these seasons, Mickey and to a lesser extent Ian aren’t completely willing to accept it wholesale. I like how, for example, even well after “coming out”, Mickey often still approaches sexuality through actions rather than identity, e.g. his response to the woman at the flower shop asking if he’s a homosexual: “He is, I just like having another man’s dick up my ass.”

However, I also think it’s cool/interesting how Ian and Mickey both move towards and embrace various parts of mainstream gay identity in s11 too, and a large part of that involves combatting the sexism, femmephobia, and hypermasculinity with which they were raised, e.g. of course, singing and dancing to Lady Gaga and Ariana Grande in the bathroom.

You could also look at the different ideas about the origins of their gay sexuality in HoS through this lens. Mickey goes for a psychological/behavioural approach (based in like early 20th century sexological theories); Ian goes for a born-this-way, biological/genetic approach (popularised in the 1980s as part of gay pride movements).

Mickey’s approach is very old school (definitely a way of thinking that reflects his upbringing), which assumes straight is the norm from which gay deviates, to do with Freudian theory/the idea of homosexuality as pathology. He doesn’t, for example, seek to use the same model (Fiona’s bad relationship history) to explain why Lip is straight. Ian’s approach (”not because I was born this way?”) reflects his investment in the intractability of sexuality related to his strict opposition to conversion therapy models and the idea of being gay as a choice. It also reflects the way he reacts negatively/disbelievingly to Debbie’s more flexible sexuality (in s8?). While obviously it’s fucked up/impossible to force people to change their sexuality and it’s perfectly reasonable for him to define the origins of his own sexuality however he wants, this approach risks excluding more fluid experiences of sexuality.

Again, Mickey’s approach is more behavioural/action oriented and Ian’s is more identity oriented. They both seem pretty willing to shift their ideas around this though (especially Mickey, who potentially is just regurgitating old stuff he’s heard without thinking). The concluding thought is that Ian is gay because he likes Mickey’s d, lol.

Individual differences on sex and relationship continua

I really like the detail that Ian doesn't want to have sex and be friends with anyone else aside from Mickey. In 11x07, he doesn't want to make friends with the guys in the locker room although he's down for repeat sexual experiences which suggests he thinks he forms romantic attachment through a combination of both sex and friendship. It seems like it's important to him in his negotiation with Mickey that they don't form romantic attachments outside of their own relationship.

This relates back to the 87% thing in HoS where Ian says he tends to get at least slightly attached to everyone he has sex with and Mickey has 87% of his heart. Mickey doesn’t like the 87% thing at all but I reckon it outlines a really interesting difference between the two characters in regards to relationship styles. It indicates that Ian is comfortable with a slightly less mononormative way of doing nurturance/care than Mickey, while Mickey seems to initiate more of the polysexuality than Ian in 11x07. (Although of course, we don’t see how Ian would react if Mickey were to tell him he’s got 87% of his heart! -- but this is a very difficult to imagine scenario).

Sex is a big part of their relationship for both of them. Both Ian and Mickey seem pretty allosexual (e.g. they feel sexual attraction for other people generally), but Mickey is possibly even more so than Ian. Mickey also maybe falls on the aromantic/grayromantic spectrum (once again, the labels can be really useful but I don’t want to be too prescriptive/rigid). Ian seems to be more alloromantic, with a capacity to experience romantic attraction to a whole bunch of people. For him, sex and romance seem to be more interconnected in all cases although he can definitely separate the two (especially when thinking about transactional sex etc).

But I think it's more complex than that. For instance, Mickey reserves certain sexual acts for just between him and Ian and its clear that they have both intimacy and exploration in their sex life. From the outset, Ian and Mickey’s relationship involves exploration and excitement with sex, and provides a freedom to explore their sexualities in regards to sexual roles and kink. It’s clear that Mickey values the safe space Ian specifically gives him in this regard from very early on in their relationship. There’s a parallel here with the bathroom Gaga/Grande scene where Ian’s instinct isn’t to tease or make fun of Mickey but support him embracing more stereotypical gay behaviours and/or more fluid gender roles to the ones he’s grown up with outside of sex too.

Also it might be useful to complicate the idea of romance itself which is a really difficult idea to pin down and which seems to mean different things for both of them. I love the stress on friendship in 11x07. Friendship and also family connection play such key parts in their relationship with one another and the way in which they are attached, arguably even more so than traditional models romance. Both HoS and the Hopper painting discussion are interesting to think about in regards to the ways Ian and Mickey think about the concept of romance differently and the ways it intersects with or differs from their ideas around friendship/family. I like how Mickey’s willing to see getting a coffee together as romantic in a positive way for instance after Ian explains that it’s about togetherness in hard times. While maybe Mickey sees Ian’s suggestion of having a bath together as awkward/weird because he views it more as trying to live up to a social script of what is “romantic”.

Communication strategies around relationship styles

In s11, Ian and Mickey’s relationship is very entwined, and, in comparison to Tami and Lip, for instance, they disclose a lot to each other. Ian asks that they tell each other everything, and although Mickey is more resistant to that initially, he becomes much more forthcoming with his feelings in s11 (around Terry, around moving to the West Side, around becoming a parent).

While I appreciate Ian’s role in initiating more communication between the two of them, I felt sorry for Mickey in their initial discussion in 11x01 in re “monogamous or not”. The turning over the paper method is a pretty binary way to open up a discussion about a very charged and complicated thing.

They do seem to complement each other in this regard though with Ian generally more keen to initiate conversation but also getting more trapped into binaries, narratives of normativity and should-stories. While Mickey totally still projects an image that is informed by local expectations around masculinity and white supremacy, he’s also a rule-breaker in many ways and doesn’t have the same desire to conform to what society perceives to be “normal” (thanks HoS), especially behind closed doors and within his relationship with Ian (“liking what I like don’t make me a bitch”). @fiona-fififi had a really good point in the tags a while back about how Mickey’s investment in their wedding and its success might have spurred Ian on further to embrace more normative ways of doing relationships. This is super interesting, and also makes me think just about how being married itself prompts Ian to think about taking a more active role in pushing the relationship further up the relationship escalator and in pushing for more communication around these steps in general.

There’s also something to be said about pressurising each other in 11x07, especially when they jokingly(?) threaten each other with sex with other men if both of them aren’t around. I doubt they were making these suggestions seriously but it definitely doesn’t strike me as the most consensual method of communication. But there’s parallels here with generally using sex as a bargaining chip earlier on in the season. Ian seems to do that after having exhausted his attempts at trying to have conversations around money/monogamy etc, as a tried and tested way of getting Mickey to engage with him. And it definitely reflects using sex with each other and sex/relationships with other people (e.g. s3 Angie/Ned, s10 Byron/Cole) as modes of communication in earlier seasons. It kind of makes sense that they still have these habits in s11 even if they are no longer the primary mode of communication.

Ian and Mickey relied so much on implicit communication in the early seasons and they have highly developed nonverbal ways of communicating. I don’t want to say that either verbal or nonverbal ways of communicating are inherently better than the other. They seem to understand each other on a deep level, which is really cool, but people have pointed out can make them think they don’t need to verbally communicate when they do, because they assume that they’ll understand one another and be on the same page. It’s super interesting to see them maintain that deep connection and continue to use nonverbal cues while also adopting more explicit and intentional communication styles in s10 and s11.

The windows of their relationship

The fandom is always bringing up how Ian and Mickey leave the doors open when they bang, lol, and also making fun of how much Ian overshares. I think this is v fair but it also strikes me as pretty healthy that he wants people to see into his and Mickey’s relationship, especially in his discussions with Lip. But Ian’s got plenty of people around him who can see and help when things get tough.

In s11, it’s great to see Mickey get closer to the Gallagher family and see various members defending him or taking his side in arguments, but he definitely does have less of an on-screen support system than Ian. (I wish that they had developed his and Sandy’s relationship in s11). I think the aftermath of the City Hall incident in s10 really reveals this particular imbalance in their relationship. On one level, Mickey moves in with Byron as a reaction to being hurt and even maybe a strategy of revenge/manipulation, on another, he doesn’t really have anywhere to go aside from the Gallagher house when/if he needs to get away from Ian. Also, the way he retreats back to the Gallagher house when he can’t deal with the Westside is an interesting development of this in s11.

Ian’s need to share stuff about their relationship is kind of exciting considering his history of being unforthcoming about his relationships (and his history of being in a lot of secret relationships), as well as how difficult he found it to talk about Mickey while Mickey was away. But there is a different problem with ongoing talk around privacy and boundaries here too (Mickey doesn’t want Ian to chat about how he’s not into rimming!). Although to be fair, Mickey also chats about a lot of explicit sex stuff with strangers.

Although they do ultimately decide against pursuing the pretty inorganic way of making friends in 11x07, Ian’s desire to make gay friends who he can talk to about relationship stuff makes sense in terms of the way he has been pushing for a more intentional relationship with more communication and more explicit discussion and compromise this season (and last season too). It also intersects with an idea of him/both of them going further to embrace gay sexuality as an identity.

It’s interesting that Mickey’s the one to initiate this decision through ribbing Ian about his relationship with Lip. Why’s Mickey doing that? Is it just to be a little shit or is he also trying (subconsciously?) to activate Ian in some direction? (And also, maybe there’s a parallel there to getting their apartment in the west side, where Mickey’s the one inadvertently introducing Ian to the idea by pushing for them to go play in the pool).

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There’s a lot here which is just scratching the surface of thinking about Ian and Mickey’s relationship in the context of these different sexuality and relationship continua. For e.g. it would be really interesting to think more about this stuff in terms of shifting sex roles and kink exploration. Of course it’s all up for interpretation and I am sure I am highlighting areas that I’m personally interested in and inadvertently projecting myself/my own preferences and styles into this discussion. Very down for disagreements and discussions if other people are interested and manage to read all of this, lol.

#Ian x Mickey #Gallavich #shameless meta #shameless 11x07 #sexuality #relationships #Meg-John Barker #shameless s11 #Ian Gallagher #Mickey Milkovich #why did i write all of this?#Shameless HoS

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hyenafu · 4 years

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Just to be clear, the following is a joke parodying the “why does X character have to be gay?” crowd. Please don’t think I’m being a bossy asshole:

Is there any reason Kieri and Buwaro have to be straight? What’s the point of it? It’s not too late to have one of them discover their trans and make it gay :)

Kieri and Buwaro could easily be bi or pan. They’re just my favorite OTP to the point where I drew a 1000-page webcomic about them. (And some other stuff happened, too, I guess.) It’s not hard for me to imagine them enjoying talking about who they thought looked attractive regardless of gender. Kieri can like girls and Buwaro can like boys while still being in a loving relationship with each other.

As of this moment, I personally have no plans to go into how Kieri and Buwaro are actually trans. But being trans is completely normalized in the world of Slightly Damned (Heaven, Hell, Purgatory, Medius-- all of it). If it warms your heart to think of either one of them or both as trans, that sounds very sweet and I don’t wish to interfere. I just don’t want to take credit for work I didn’t do.

But I will say that it is important to me to have Buwaro be a male character with strong, stereotypically feminine qualities. He likes flowers, wearing dresses, and talking about feelings. But he’s also still a guy. I think cisgendered men should be allowed to have these qualities and like feminine things. Maybe that would lead to more cisgendered men into realizing that they’re trans women or nonbinary, and that would be lovely! But if they decide that they like these qualities and still don’t think they are trans, I think that should be okay, too.

I like having characters who sit comfortably in a gray area. If taken in bad faith, that can be interpreted as baiting and cowardice. I think it’s valid to criticize creators--especially big companies-- for that, depending on the context, and as long as it remains civil. I’ve learned a lot from folks being dissatisfied with media and demanding better treatment! But I also think that the downside of pressuring others to adhere to a strong label is that people who are nonconforming, in the closet, questioning, fluid, etc. may feel like they’re being fake or “don’t count”. If Buwaro can represent a comfortable gray area for someone to emulate while they figure themselves out, then that makes me feel really good about what I’m doing.

I hope that all makes sense. Look, I’m asexual, aromantic, and nonbinary. I don’t really get how all this works, and the older I get, and the more I embrace the idea that the gray areas between labels matter, the less I feel I understand. Everyone is really different, and there’s a lot of room for interpretation! Our understanding and education of these matters is also constantly evolving. It makes it kind of stressful to try to make strict rules for every single character...

...maybe we should just make it simple. The only 100% totally cisgender, totally hetero character in the whole comic is Duster the Fairy, and he’s not a transphobe because transphobia does not exist in Slightly Damned.

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sylvanvixen · 3 years

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@dungeonqueering

It’s here and it’s amazing! I cannot overstate how hyped I am for this project! Exalted is a fantastic and beautiful setting and the design for Exalted Essence has been fabulous.

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Characters play as mortal heroes who've been empowered by one of the major gods or other cosmic beings of the setting who are given the power to perform magical and mythical feats in a diverse fantasy setting. It's got 10 Exalted (basically classes) each with subtypes called Aspects or Castes (basically subclasses).

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#exalted rpg #Exalted game #Exalted Essence #Long post

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