#also thinking about the fact that he sacrifices himself in swan song because he wants to redeem himself in dean’s eyes | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dandelion-turtle · 3 years

Text

Hyakinthos

Hyakinthos was a Spartan prince, most prominently known in Amyclae with a decent cult following. there are a couple of different people listed as being his parents, but the most popular is King Amyclus and Diomedes. if Amyclus was his father, that would also make Daphne, another of Apollo’s lovers, Hyakinthos’s sister. it seems like he would be quite simple, he has a relatively small story with one of the earliest written records from Hesiod. in this version there is no love rival, just an accident. written in the 7th century BC, it was merely one, albeit long, sentence.

”. . ((lacuna)) rich-tressed Diomede; and she bare Hyakinthos (Hyacinthus), the blameless one and strong . . ((lacuna)) whom, on a time Phoibos (Phoebus) [Apollon] himself slew unwittingly with a ruthless disk.”

however, the most famous version, and one that most will know, comes from Ovid’s Metamorphosis. written somewhere between the 1st century BC and 1st century AD, this sentence long story grew to be paragraphs long. in which Ovid describes the love Apollo and Hyakinthos have for each other — which was the ultimate demise for the young prince. with parts of it coming from the perspective of a mourning Apollo, Ovid writes how Hyakinthos was turned into a flower with “ai, ai” written on the petals to express Apollo’s sadness. and the version that we all have come to know including betrayal and jealous rage from Zephyros (the West Wind), is hinted at in Pausanias’ “Description of Greece”.

”[In the temple of Apollon at Amyklai (Amyclae) Nikias (Nicias) [painter fl. c. 320 B.C.], son of Nikomedes, has painted him [Hyakinthos (Hyacinthus)] in the very prime of youthful beauty, hinting at the love of Apollon for Hyakinthos of which legend tells . . . As for Zephyros (the West Wind), how Apollon unintentionally killed Hyakinthos, and the story of the flower, we must be content with the legends, although perhaps they are not true history.”

despite this seemingly clear-cut story, there’s a lot more than meets the eye with Hyakinthos. according to many historians the -nth part of his name is pre-Hellenic and comes from the Mycenaean era. another word like that would be Corinth — a pre-Greek polis that was destroyed and rebuilt. this leads many to believe that Hyakinthos was around BEFORE Apollo. he would have been a chthonic vegetation god — almost like the male equivalent to Persephone. this leads to a few different theories, but before I get to that, let me tell you the story of Hyakinthos as told by Ovid and Lucian’s “Dialogues of the Gods”. ═══════════════════════════

⊰ The Myth ⊱

Hyakinthos was a beautiful Spartan prince. he had many lovers, but the one that had eventually won his heart was Apollo. the god taught beautiful long-haired Hyakinthos how to play the lyre, how to use a bow and arrows, a little bit on prophecies, and gave him a swan chariot. the two were incredibly in love, but sadly, there was someone who didn’t like that. Zephyros, the west wind, was jealous for he too loved Hyakinthos. he had tried to woo him but it really was no match for Apollo. he watched the two men play again and again until he had eventually had enough of it. he ultimately created one of the most tragic love stories. like most days, Apollo and Hyakinthos were together, playing around and having mild competitions throwing a discus. Apollo wanted to show off for Hyakinthos so he could see just what a god could do. he threw a discus high into the air, clearing the clouds away and it disappeared into the sky. Hyakinthos wanted to impress his lover as well, so he chased after the discus laughing. Zephyros in a fit of rage at the two men enjoying themselves changed the course of the discus. as it came to land, the force was so strong that it bounced off the ground and smashed into Hyakinthos’s face. Apollo ran to his lover and tried every kind of medicine and healing he could think of. he even placed ambrosia on his lover’s lips but blood flowed freely from the wound. there was no way for him to stop a wound of Fate. in his despair, he turned Hyakinthos into a flower, but seeing that wasn’t good enough, he wrote his grief upon the petals. ═══════════════════════════

⊰ Symbolism From The Myth ⊱

Taking A Temple as mentioned before, it’s very likely that Hyakinthos was an older deity from the pre-hellenic period. something that many Greek writers did, was create a myth of how a deity began their worship in a specific place. we know the temple that Apollo was worshipped at in Amyclae was older than when his worship would have started. one theory behind this myth then, is how Apollo came to be worshipped over Hyakinthos at the temple and area; by killing the previous deity. it sounds sad, but it’s actually happened several times, and even with Apollo specifically. the most famous example I can think of would be at Delphi. originally the temple was in honor of the titan Gaia. Apollo came in valiantly and killed the Python (which is what gives Apollo’s priestesses their name) and inevitably took the temple over with his worship. what this doesn’t account for, is the fact Hyakinthos is still worshipped at the temple heavily, his and Apollo’s worship having mingled and being near inseparable. it is even said that upon his death and burial, Apollo said to give him (Hyakinthos) all offerings first. now, if you know a thing or two about Greek worship, the first portion of the offering was incredibly important, especially considering hero worship was probably closer to chthonic sacrifices in practice; though they were not considered to be ‘dead’. within my research so far, I have yet to find this happening somewhere else, but I will update this if I ever do. now all of this is unusual with the theory that this myth symbolizes one deity taking over. if that were the case, why continue to worship Hyakinthos? Duality some of you may not know this about me, but I am a sucker when it comes to duality, specifically with lovers. this myth may be a symbol for the growing season and harvest of the crops. while it may be a common motif, especially among the Greeks, I think it’s a sweet and somber story giving personification to an important aspect of Greek life. I also believe the duality is less about the exacts of what they rule over, but the way they were worshipped. the closest example I can think of also comes from Delphi with the duality between Apollo and Dionysos (who, shockingly enough, was the only other god historians believe was present during the Hyakinthia festival besides Apollo and Hyakinthos). as a hero, or simply for his chthonic aspect, the ritual and practice would have been far different than that for Apollo. while this isn’t exactly backed by anything I can find specific to duality, I personally feel a reason both Apollo and Hyakinthos were worshipped together in Amyclae is due to that duality between them. Hyakinthos would have been a chthonic deity probably for vegetation or agriculture, whereas Apollo here is a god of light (not the sun) representing life, health, and the ultimate grief. their worship in Amyclae was always together once Apollo was introduced (to some this hinted that they were possibly the same person representing a cycle, but most disagree with this theory). the duality is clearly a theme already for Apollo, and I think what happened at Delphi with Dionysos is the same for Amyclae and Hyakinthos. together they represent loss and mourning but also happiness and life — love. ═══════════════════════════

⊰ Hyakinthos Associations ⊱

okay, now that I have bored you all to death, let’s talk about some less heavy things. due to their worship being completely together, I would say that nearly anything related to Apollo can also be associated with Hyakinthos and vice versa. however, we love individuality in this house, so let’s talk about the things either associated with him through the various, limited texts we have and some UPG. Associations ➳ larkspurs/hyacinths ➳ swans ➳ bow and arrow ➳ summer! ➳ new spring growth ➳ chiton’s (they were offered to him by the women of Sparta) ➳ death ➳ rebirth/cycles ➳ chariot’s ➳ blood ➳ blue/purple/red colors ➳ discus (sorry) ➳ lavender ➳ lyre ➳ lapis lazuli ➳ amethyst ➳ black tourmaline ═══════════════════════════ Devotional Activities ➳ keeping a garden ➳ maybe even an indoor garden ➳ go to parks and feed the swans/birds ➳ archery ➳ sports ➳ making a chiton ➳ writing poems ➳ taking care of those around you ➳ growing larkspurs/hyacinths ➳ get a devotional journal ➳ create a playlist (sad songs for the most part) ➳ fall in love deeply ═══════════════════════════

⊰ Deity Or Divine Hero? ⊱

I don’t know if this question can be answered for a fact honestly. what we do know is that he was at least worshipped as a hero, that much can be said. anything further than that comes at a later time and from the outside perspective. a lot of ancient Greek writers didn’t write down certain things because they saw them as common knowledge. this doesn’t help us looking back now. what we can say, is that some of the offerings given to him were not common with hero worship and would have been reserved for the gods. this is according to Angeliki Petropoulou, a professor in ancient greek studies/religion, and the author of “Hyakinthos and Apollo of Amyklai: Identities and Cults. A Reconsideration of the Written Evidence” pages 153-161. Within this, she makes the argument that Hyakinthos has gone through ‘apotheosis’. this is the action of a mortal, usually a hero, becoming a god. note: ‘βουθυσία’ is a traditional oxen sacrifice.

“The βουθυσία for Hyakinthos, which is indicative of his new immortal status, should be placed on the third day too. Oxen are costly victims, the bull being the most “noble” sacrificial animal. After mourning for Hyakinthos’s death and making a propitiatory sacrifice at his tomb, they honoured him with a bull sacrificed as if to a god. Yet the geographical range in which he was regarded as god was rather circumscribed and did not spread beyond the borders of Lakedaimonia. The βουθυσία for Hyakinthos would have been instituted after the construction of the altar on which Apollo received sacrifices; for the only altar excavated, in an area filled with remnants of burnt sacrifices, is attributed to Apollo.”

so there you have it. most places will probably call him a hero, and that wouldn’t be wrong. others may call him a deity, which also isn’t wrong. I’ll tell you what I’m personally going to go with, and everyone can make their own decision based on the information listed through this post and the readings I’ll link at the bottom. no matter your conclusion, the relationship you have will be completely yours, and it’s ok! if anything, I encourage that over taking my word for it. ══════════════════════════ for me, I think I consider him a deity. I know that I heavily romanticize the story, and with Apollo being so near to my heart, him having a terrible love life hurts my soul. while I don’t exactly want to rewrite any myths, I won’t claim that they are married, I will say that I believe them to be happy. their worship in Amyclae was so intertwined and based completely around each other from the history we know, that, for me, it makes sense to also honor them together. I’ll leave you all on one more incredibly sad quote from Lucien’s “Dialogue of the Gods” (that I referenced from earlier).

”Apollon : Well, my loves never prosper; Daphne and Hyakinthos (Hyacinthus) were my great passions; she so detested me that being turned to a tree was more attractive than I; and him I killed with a quoit. Nothing is left me of them but wreaths of their leaves and flowers.”

it’s ok to cry, I do nearly every time I read that.

⊰ For Further Reading ⊱

➳Hyakinthos theoi ➳Apollo theoi ➳Hyakinthos Wiki ➳My Hellenic Research Google Drive this also contains the Sparta book I reference and a few others worth a read.

#mine #greek #greek gods #greek mythology #greek paganism #hellenism #pagan #apollo #hyakinthos #greek pagan #theoi

120 notes · View notes

omgitsshrimp · 3 years

Text

Attack on titan OP 7 - Lyric and Image Interpretation

So I’m going to go through the lyrics for the new op and the accompanying images that played along with the lyrics that I feel have significant meaning or implications.

So here we go:

So two of the very first shots in the op are of a close up of Eren’s feet starting to walk, then before Eren’s foot touches the ground it quickly cuts to the foot of a colossal titan stepping on the ground. This is portraying Eren’s direct involvement with the rumbling. It’s happening because of him and he is responsible for it. He’s not being controlled or manipulated to do this, he chose this path.

All I ever wanted to do was do right things,

I never wanted to be the king, I swear

Eren is affirming that he never wanted anything bad like the rumbling to happen. He always just wanted to do right by his people. He just wanted freedom for himself and those he cares for.

As for the second line, I already made a post about what I think about it here , so you can read my thoughts on that, but basically I feel like Eren and Historia may be married and thats why Eren is referring to himself as a king. I don’t think Eren married Hisu for the sake of being a monarch, but simply because he loves her, and that what I think he means by that line.

He’s basically saying: ‘I just wanted to do good things, live free, marry the person I love without all the BS attached, a simple life, thats it, I swear.

In the op, it shows Eren walking and there are white birds near by, but they aren’t going near him. One bird is shown flying in the opposite direction that Eren is going. The white birds represent good, nonviolence, peace. Eren has chosen a course of action that is the antithesis of that, ie the rumbling.

Eren is shown walking between light and dark. He has a choice of what to do, what path to take. In the next shot he is shown walking but with black birds flying with him in the same direction. Black birds represent a darker path, violence, death. Eren has chosen the darker path.

All I ever wanted to do was save your life,

I never wanted to grab a knife, I swear

Alot of people are interpreting this as Eren referring to that time he killed the kidnappers to save Mikasa, and I don’t entirely disagree. But I do feel like this can also apply to Historia. Eren has expressed multiple times that he refuses to sacrifice Historia and wants to save her from becoming a titan. But he’s also expressing that what he wanted was to save her life, he didn’t want the rumbling.

Eren is desperately trying to affirm that he did not want the violence, he only wanted good. It’s like he’s desperate to convince himself of his morality. Like he’s trying to hold on to his ‘goodness’ in a way.

**(The next images in the op are basically just exposition. It’s just going through all the titans/titan shifters as a sort of role call. So I’m not going to try to interpret those shots.)**

Tearless, fearless, burning, burning

This is describing Eren doing the rumbling I think. He’s not crying, he’s not afraid. The rumbling is burning and trampling everything on earth and he’s sustaining his conviction.

You tell me what have I missed,

Still wandering in the deep mist

I feel like this is referring to the fact that Eren hasn’t seen all the furure memories. He knows things, but maybe not everything. So in a sense he’s still wandering through events, moving toward the end, after the rumbling is completed.

If I lose it all, slip and fall

I will never look away

When the phrase “lose it all” comes up in the song, I think it’s just a way of saying “if I kill all these people”. When he says “slip and fall”, I feel like it might refer to Eren’s fall from grace. He was once a trusted comrade of the scouts and now they’re essentially enemies. He was once fighting for humanity against the titans (in seasons 1, 2 and 3) and now he’s going to use titans to slaughter humanity. It ties into op 4 “like a fallen angel” (Red Swan).

When he says he’ll never look away, I think he’s expressing his resoluteness on doing the rumbling and completing it.

This shot in the op is of Eren/youngEren standing in the sky looking in awe. It also shows an image of someone holding a knife to stab someone. I believe it’s the moment that Eren killed the kidnappers in season 1. That was the first time Eren ever killed anyone. That was the moment he lost his innocence as a child, and I guess they’re drawing parallels between that moment and Eren doing the rumbling. Perhaps this shot illustrates what Eren said to Zeke in paths, “I’ve always been like this...”, when he explained he won’t hesitate to take someone else’s freedom if they’re trying to take his.

As the line “lose it all” repeats, we’re shown shots of the people outside the wall. Basically this is illustrating the meaning of the phrase “lose it all” (as stated earlier). It means, “if I kill everyone”, and the visual tells us who Eren is referring to when this line is heard. Which brings me to the next shot.

If the phrase “lose it all” means “if I kill...”, and the image tells us who he’s referring to, then It��s fair to theorize that this shot implies that he may be of the mindset of sacrificing his friends to complete the rumbling.

Personally, I feel like Eren will end up killing his friends, even Mikasa. In fact I think Mikasa’s death is meant to have an extremely sad impact on us, the audience. That’s why I feel like they focused on her after this shot.

If I lose it all outside the wall,

Live to die another day.

He’s once again talking about killing everyone outside the walls with the rumbling. When he says “live to die another day”, I think this alludes to Eren possibly knowing something about the future that keeps him going. Or it can refer to the fact that if he completes the rumbling paradis will live on, but it doesn’t make sense with the “die another day” part. So that’s what makes me think Eren is aware of something (this is just speculation, maybe he made a deal with Ymir?), that implies a situation where if he completes the rumbling, he will survive and maybe even be rid of the titan curse. This is just a guess tho.

This shot shows the childhood memories Eren has with Armin and Mikasa, but when they’re standing in front of the tree, Armin and Mikasa disappear, leaving Eren standing alone. This could be illustrating that Eren is on his own, his friends aren’t by his side fighting with him anymore, theyre on opposite sides.

It could also allude to Armin and Mikasa dying and Eren being the only one left. Like, if the scenario of Eren killing all his friends happens, story-wise, it would be Armin and Mikasa who would be the last to die because it would be the climax of the conflict, and serve as a huge moment in Eren’s character arc.

I don’t want anything

I’m just here to...

This could be saying that Eren is very focused on his goal, he doesn’t want to do anything else except, complete the rumbling. He can’t be swayed by anyone at this point. He’s just here to kill people and get it over with.

This obviously shows Eren’s pain over the whole situation. He’s also facing the dark, the sun is behind him. In an earlier shot, we saw his friends facing the sun. I think this may show their differing perspectives on the world, and foreshadow the inevitable clash that will ensue between them.

The last shots are of a colossal titan’s foot print with blood, showing someone died. Then it quickly cuts to a human footprint, with a crushed butterfly underneath. So obviously the crushed butterfly represents a person who’s been killed (in the rumbling). These shots tie in full circle to the first shots of the op. Eren is responsible for this and, although he doesn’t want it, he feels compelled to do it for some reason. Like this is the only way forward for whatever his specific end goal is.

My guess is that his goal is freedom, to break the cycle of hate and end it all once and for all because he does not want future generations to have to shoulder these burdens.

And that conlcudes my op 7 interpretation. Feel free to let me know what you think. Be kind, please. Thanks for reading! And please credit me if you refer or use snippets of my work, thanks!

#attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #Eren Jaeger #Historia Reiss #eren x historia #aot #snk #levi ackerman #erehisu

51 notes · View notes

peach-coke · 4 years

Note

PEACHY!! I just finished the final. How u doing? What do you think?

Hey Sol! Sorry for leaving you hanging with an answer for a couple days but I had to process. And mourn, after all I said goodbye to something that has been part of me for 15 years. That's half my life. It's weird and I don't think I've ever cried as much as I have in the past 3 days but... Well. Luckily, they're happy tears. "Don't cry because it's over, cry because it happened" aside? I love the ending.

It's all I could've ever asked for. Ah, who am I kidding? It's more than that. I was prepared to be gutted in a really bad way. I am gutted but for all the right reasons. It was tragic. It was painful. It was beautiful. But most of all? It was a Love-Letter.

I know there’s a lot of people who’re upset about parts of the episode; I understand. We’re all grieving in our own ways. I hope however, that once the dust has settled and feelings stop spiking into extremes, people will realize that the episode left so many things unsaid and ambiguous... Meaning there's lots and lots of space for interpretation and headcanons to “fix” the finale into something that makes it better for you. And I’d like to think this was done on purpose.

I’m soo sorry I end up rambling on one of your asks again Sol, but I’ll do exactly that to pick up some of the things I’ve seen people be most upset about and give some of my perspective on them. Maybe it’ll help some people to feel better and grow to love the final as much as I do ♥

One thing I’ve seen a lot of people be upset about is that Dean didn’t get to live the life they’ve fought for so hard. Actually? We don’t know that. There is no timestamps, no indicators that tell us they didn’t do what we saw in the first domestic montage for a couple years. The only hint we have is that Miracle is still around and kicking, so it couldn’t have been more than maybe 6 years (because 6-8ish is when a dog that size shows clears signs of aging). Besides that? Nobody and nothing stops us in believing they had that “domestic bliss with a little bit of hunting on the side”-life for quite a while before it happened.

Them talking about mourning Cas and Jack is no indicator either. I still mourn people I lost 15 years ago, when the occasion calls for it or I remember them in moments that they would’ve loved to be part of. Mourning never stops… Of course, even 6 years aren’t a lifetime. But do we really think Dean - our Dean - would’ve been happy and content with a 9-to-5 job? Yeah, didn’t think so either...

Then, we have the rebar. Which honestly didn’t bother me at all, for several reasons. First, I love parallels and this episode was so full of them… Not only was the whole “stabbed in the back” thing a direct callback to arguably the most painful death in the series to date – Sam’s first in All Hell Breaks Loose – it was also a callback to The Song Remains the Same. The episode where Sam is stabbed by Anna – with a rebar/fixture she ripped out of the wall - and bleeds out on the floor. The only reason he got out of it alive, is because John!Michael fixed him. Otherwise? He would’ve died by being stabbed with a rebar. Just like that.

Ash himself told them that they died several times together and can’t remember because the angels don’t want them to. We, the viewers, have never seen them die together until Dark Side Of The Moon. Which strongly implies that they must’ve died on random hunts. More than once.

So Dean’s death in the barn? That’s what happens to Hunters who have no divine intervention. That’s what happens to Hunters who are living the life without being chosen for something bigger. That’s what happens to Hunters with free will. Dean’s death in the barn was a true Hunter’s death. The one he always wanted. There’s no glory, there’s nothing special about it. It just is. And I thought that was tragically poetic in its own way.

I know people were expecting them to go out Butch and Sundance style. Together – I admittedly wanted that too. But the way Dean’s death happened didn’t bother me at all. And honestly? Sam’s soul died in that barn, too. We know it did. So they did go out together, one way or another. It was just not the way we expected.

The cinematic parallels of Sam’s life without Dean to Dean’s life without Sam after Swan Song honestly floored me. It was beautifully heartbreaking.

We see Sam living his life while Dean is driving along “right there beside him, every step of the way”. We see him holding on for Dean, fulfilling the promise he made to his brother about living on. Making sure there’s always a Winchester that knows love left in the world. The final sacrifice of Sam, the bravest and strongest man we know. Sam, who sits down in the car he once called home, to be close to the one person that always held the same connotation. Sam, who knows his other half is waiting for him, sitting just there in the same spot he is. Every step of the way. That’s my Supernatural right there.

What I especially like about the whole thing is, that it once again leaves us with another take besides the one we actually saw and thought obvious. We can also pretend Sam died on that werewolf hunt, shortly after Dean’s death. There is nothing that stops you from seeing this as canon, (There’s actually quite a few hints that it’s a very strong possibility), because the way the whole scene played out could’ve easily been a daydream of Dean while he was driving in heaven.

The fact they left it open like that is a gift, in my eyes. They could’ve easily forced a fixed narrative on us. But they didn’t. Same with so many other things. They left us with so many possibilities and room for our own takes. And I think it’s fair that people need time to process what we’ve been given here. It’s fair that people are still upset about some aspects, because they have yet to realize that there is a pathway for them to see it differently, without discarding canon at all.

There’s only one thing that is not open for interpretation. And that’s that Sam and Dean love each other as much as two human beings can love each other. And none of them is complete without the other. I never quite understood why some people needed the show to end on romantic notes. Supernatural has never been about that. It has always been about the deep, abiding love those two brothers had for each other and how neither heaven nor hell ever stood a chance against it. Platonic love is just as beautiful as romantic love; sometimes even more so. And that’s what this finale showed us.

And that’s why I love it so much. Why I say it’s a Love-Letter. It’s a Love-Letter to us; The ones who’ve been there all the way from the start. The ones who’ve seen the show for what it is and what it has always been: The epic love story of Sam and Dean Winchester.

Despite all that, it is still valid to dislike the ending. You are entitled to do so. But if you really think Sam and Dean - two soulmates, surrounded by the people they love, at peace - spending the rest of eternity together in heaven is the absolute worst possible ending that destroyed everything the show ever stood for? I’m sorry, but in that case you did not understand Supernatural at all.

#Asks and Requests #Sent in by solisoccasus #SPN Spoilers #SPN Finale Positive #Sam and Dean are Soulmates #and y'all can take that from my cold dead hands

568 notes · View notes

cheri-translates · 3 years

Text

[CN] Season 2 Summary (Volume 3: Ch 6 - 9)

🍒 Warning: Detailed spoilers from S2 🍒

Along with the update on 3 June 2021, the CN server released a “Plot Review” which contains bullet-point summaries of S2 :>

Volume 2 Summary: here

You and Shaw are in the middle of the railway tracks. Watching as the train gets closer and closer, Shaw shields you, leaving the tracks

All of a sudden, two more people make an entrance. Shaw hides you, then confronts the two of them by himself. They appear to be investigating something. It’s a pity that before they can ask about anything, the entire passage collapses abruptly

Fortunately, Shaw brings you out safely. The misunderstanding between the both of you is cleared up

With your deliberately designed “trick” during the conversation, Shaw tells you that he came here to investigate a historical ruins. Since you’re also investigating it, you hope that Shaw can share and exchange resources

“Fine, I promise you.”

You head to the Black Swan building to attend a board meeting. During the meeting, the members of the organisation once again use the “Small Syringes” incident to criticise you. The BOSS, Victor, doesn’t say a word

“Without my permission, you’re not allowed to do investigations in private.”

Knowing that Victor is worried about your safety, inexplicable emotions occupy your heart

Afterwards, you realise that Victor met with a second shooting incident at the roof of LFG last week! Very quickly, you discover that the weapons were purchased by Gray Rhino. But these overt clues seem to be part of a scheme, making you recall the Evolver assassination incidents from before

In the evening, you’re held under duress by Set, an ex-member of Black Swan. He is seeking to find experimental records related to CORE from 17 years ago

According to information he somehow acquired from Gray Rhino, these records will appear in an auction this evening. At this moment, Victor appears, and willingly follows along

At the venue of the auction, the surroundings suddenly turn pitch-black following a loud cracking sound. In the chaos, you decide to seize this opportunity to search for that document. Unexpectedly, someone got to it first. Based on the memories you read, the document should have been entrusted to a bank, and placed in a safe vault

However, when the safe is opened up, there’s nothing inside. It turns out that this incident was a trap

Pretending to have the documents, you plan to flee with Victor while tossing them to Set. However, Victor brings you to a lift in the depths of the safe vault. What’s above is actually a building of a bank

In a small room, Victor stands before the window, looking at the quiet and pitch-black street. For now, the both of you are safe

“We need to find a way to leave.”

Victor heads outside. While you’re pondering over the incident in the room alone, the surveillance monitor outside the door shows that someone’s coming. After a moment of contemplation, you leap off the balcony, planning to use the balcony underneath the window as a buffer

While falling, you can feel time pausing for an instant

Because Victor was worried about your safety, he used his Evol

The car meant for the evacuation has been prepared. After having a change of clothes, Victor takes you out of this place. Perhaps furious at how you acted presumptuously without considering your own safety, Victor remains silent during the journey

You understand that he’s worried about you, and try to show that you’ve reflected upon yourself

“At all times, you have to take care of yourself for me.”

In the Black Swan building, the two of you analyse that the dangers from yesterday seemed to be a test. Victor gives you a document - in the capacity of a punter, he has entered the Hunter Game

His trust, a sense of security, and the motivation to get things done - you know that these are things Victor has given to you

"All you have to focus on is taking large strides and continue running forward.”

After parting ways with Victor, you return to your usual work

“Miracle Finder” has been receiving extensive attention recently due to the past spate of incidents

You discover that Lucien has expressed his support for the show on the internet

After expressing your gratitude to Lucien, you invite him to a hospital which exclusively admits Evolvers for treatments. There, you interview people who have used the “Small Syringes”, gathering materials for a show

In the middle of an interview, the director of the hospital tells the both of you that a few Evolvers who used the “Small Syringes” experienced pathological changes. However, Lucien points out that the pathological changes may not have a causal relation with the “Small Syringes”

You and Lucien delve further into the topic of Evol. When the topic of Evol and evolution crops up, he invites you to attend an external class he’s conducting at a museum which has “evolution” as its theme

The next day, you head there as agreed

While having a look around, Lucien engages his students in a scientific debate related to “evolution” and “sacrifice”

His thoughts have never changed. However, your way of thinking has changed from before, back when you had no idea about anything

You notice that there’s a stone tablet in the museum with the symbol “8″ engraved on it

“The beginning and ending of a civilisation is akin to this symbol - its start and end are linked together.”

After sending the students back on the bus, you and Lucien take a stroll along the seaside. All of a sudden, you hear an inexplicable electronic sound announcing that the both of you are currently in the Hunter Game

While discussing with Lucien whether the game could be an imitation of the experiment from 17 years ago, you ask him to hide in a police box that you can “see”. At this moment, you suddenly find yourself falling back into the museum from earlier. But when you take a careful look, the surroundings turn into a patch of empty space

Only now do you realise that everything you “saw” earlier could have been an illusion

On the other side, Lucien never actually saw that police box you mentioned. Right now, he can see that you’re in an open and spacious room, feeling around the walls

Lucien realises that there seems to be a glass separating the both of you. Neither of you can hear the other party

Lucien places his hand on the glass. At this moment, you happen to press your hand there too, covering his palm which is separated by the glass

“Why... why exactly are you...”

You finally locate the “hidden button” separating illusion from reality, leaving this strange space and joining Lucien

The abrupt electronic sound rings again. Before you, the scene instantly morphs into an abandoned building. Other players chase after the both of you, engaging in close combat

You and Lucien discuss your current situations in the game, and how to escape

“We have a simpler way.”

Making use of the folding space, Lucien instantly brings you back to the seaside during the stroll earlier

You ask Lucien if he believes that the world can go backwards while making forward progress

Lucien says that if civilisation exists in a cycle, it is possible for the world to reflect the past. But the further one walks forward, the more opportunities one has to seize one’s own destiny

“Being able to persist in your dreams is already very good.”

A few days later, Shaw takes you to the antique store to exchange leads as promised

“Returning to the main point, get that painted scroll, and be gentle.”

Faced with your series of questions, Shaw says that these symbols are merely totems. No one knows what’s within the ruins, and wanting to get in poses great difficulty

While speaking, a man clothed in black barges in, demanding leads from Shaw

Naturally unwilling to give in obediently, Shaw and the man are embroiled in a fight. In order to assist Shaw, you work together with him. By overturning a gigantic water jar, the water guides the electricity, successfully striking the man clothed in black

Not wanting the man to leave, Shaw sends you away in a hurry

“I’m tired. I’ll leave the investigation to you.”

Behind you, a wounded Shaw sits in the antique store by himself, his body temperature abnormally high

You and Savin are at the airport to pick Kiro up from his overseas trip where he “took a breather”. In actual fact, his location was unknown. While you’re feeling uneasy, and didn’t expect him to actually appear

When you and Kiro return to the rehearsal room, he quickly pulls you into an embrace

You repeatedly ask Kiro why he had to remain in the arena the last time, what happened afterwards, and why he had to hide it from you

“But when you’re with me, I always can’t help but worry about you, and hope you can be as far away from this place as possible.”

You suddenly receive an anonymous phone call which tells you to put a stop to today’s news conference. However, you ignore it

When the event is about to begin, Savin can’t be found. While you’re feeling confused, you and Kiro receive a disjointed call from him. Locating his position, the two of you realise that he’s on an empty train which should have ceased operations, but is moving forward

Ah Liu, who has the ability to transfer objects, sends you and Kiro onto the train to find Savin. Aside from that, you spot a youth

This youth is called Xiao Nan, and he has an Evol related to magnetic fields. He’s the one who made the train move, and plans to cause the train to go off the rails, crashing into the civilians who have gathered to attend Kiro’s conference for his new song. He had warned you about cancelling the conference, but you had failed to note just how critical the situation was back then

Through sieving through Xiao Nan’s memories, you discover that Gray Rhino had instigated him into doing work for the organisation as he was bullied and humiliated since young for having Evol

The youth wants to leave this extreme organisation, but he’s afraid because he has done wrong things. Kiro reassures him by talking about his own experiences in youth, which are similar to Xiao Nan’s. He also tells the youth that he has to face his difficulties with courage, and find his place in the world

The youth is finally swayed, and he does his best to stop the train

Unfortunately, the train continues to travel due to inertia. Kiro tells you to leave first and evacuate the crowd in the plaza. Meanwhile, he will stay behind to think of a way to stop the train

In order to draw the crowd away, you change into a teddy bear mascot costume, announcing that this is one phase of Kiro’s announcement of his new song

The fans are successfully drawn away, but you end up being chased by them. When you’re at your wit’s end, someone suddenly grabs your hand. He removes your headgear - it’s Kiro

“Not a minute or second late. I’m punctual for the appointment.”

Kiro brings you through small corners to leave the crowd, then returns to the stage at the conference, bringing the event to a perfect end

During the celebratory banquet, Kiro sees that you have a worried expression on your face. He reassures you earnestly that as long as you’re by his side, he’s happy

The night grows dark, and a dash of silver flashes on the roof of the Black Swan building - it’s Helios

He appears to be talking to someone

I’m not helping you to do anything. You have no right to give me orders.

Not long after you leave the building, Helios hops back in, and he sees the experiment report you left behind

“I command the both of you - forget everything that happened earlier.”

You receive a call from Gavin - he needs your help

In the STF, Gavin mentions that he has a unique witness, and he needs the help of your Evol to read his memories

It turns out that someone was shot at the train station, and the witness happens to be an elderly man who is blind. You do your best, concentrating to sense what you can. Unfortunately, you aren’t of much help

While Gavin sends you back, the both of you pass by a stall. You make the impulsive decision to pull him along to play a shooting game

While leaving, the sky suddenly begins to pour. Gavin removes his jacket and covers the roof of your heads

“Let’s go. The journey isn’t long. I’ll send you home.”

You suddenly recall that in high school, Gavin coursed through the curtain of rain just like this. Everything seems to a certain miraculous overlap

Not long after, another Evolver dies an unnatural death, and you realise that the victim is Xiao Nan

Faced with the death of this youth, you’re unwilling to sit by and do nothing. While investigating the scene of the crime, you spot a suspicious man. Chasing after him, you arrive at an unfinished building. Unexpectedly, you meet Gavin in the building

You explain why you've appeared in the building to Gavin, and he tells you that he’s currently on a mission, and suggests that the both of you look around for leads

“Right now, staying by my side is the safest.”

When you step on a protruding object, a gigantic explosion causes the ground to turn into an artificial precipice. The man who lured you here reveals himself

During this confrontation, the ceiling above you explodes and collapses. It seems that this was a trap to lure the STF over

You toss out a mini flash bomb, then pull Gavin along to escape. After conjecturing that there are many automatic explosives in this building, Gavin holds onto you, using his Evol to send the both of you to the 30th floor

After finding the main device and wanting to dismantle it, the man appears again, lifting his gun and taking aim at the device

The man is extremely enraged with the STF, as though the STF has concealed an important truth

You confront the man while Gavin focuses on dismantling the device. At a crucial point, you shoot the man in the lower leg to stop him from taking action. As expected, Gavin successfully dismantles the device

“Only when you're alive can you find the truth that you seek.”

Likely moved by Gavin’s determination, the man chooses to trust Gavin, and asks him about something before he leaves

You and Gavin finally leave the building. He carries you as he flies into the city. Feeling his warmth, you feel incomparably at ease

Right after reaching the ground, a young man dressed in uniform requests for you to cooperate with him in an investigation, as you’ve become a suspect for the Evolver assassination incidents. He also provides evidence that are stacked against you

Even though all the evidence is unfavourable to you, Gavin says that he will investigate the truth of the case, and will definitely protect you

“Regardless of position, I’ll never let you get caught up in danger.”

Volume 4 (Ch 10 - 13): here

More S2 content: here

A detailed translation of Gavin’s part is available here!

#mlqc #mlqc cn #mlqc spoilers

41 notes · View notes

gracerings · 4 years

Text

here’s a list of dean's romantic relationships and my own personal opinions about them and dean's feelings toward each of his love interests (disclaimer: these are my personal opinions, which means it's fine if you disagree, we all interpret things in different ways!)

crowley: personally I think nothing would have happened between dean and crowley if dean hadn't become a demon. dean never trusted him enough to let himself go like that with him, without the filter of inibitions being taken off. I also don't think dean had romantic feelings for him. crowley definitely did and he hated it, but dean.. I think he only went for it because he was a demon, having fun with hookups and threesomes every night and crowley was there. non-demon dean developed a begrudging sympathy for crowley eventually, something that confused him and made him almost mourn him a little when he died, but. I don't think there was much more than that for dean.

benny: his relationship with benny was definitely more intense, due to the circumstances of how and where they met. their connection was born out of a trust built day after day in a constantly dangerous situation where they had to rely on each other if they wanted to survive. there was attraction there and later trust, gratitude and shared experiences, something pure but also detached from reality, much like purgatory. however, all in all, I don't believe dean loved benny. I think he cared about him and was obviously very sad to see him go, but then again I don't think he could have asked him to sacrifice himself, if he really had loved him.

cassie: I think cassie was the first person dean could see himself be happy with. their personalities seemed to fit very well with each other and I do believe dean loved her, but in the way you can love someone you've only known for a few weeks (a month?). there was very intense physical chemistry between them that was mirrored by how quickly they connected emotionally. it was very much a first love situation (I'm not counting robin in this list, but to me that was puppy love, cassie was dean's first adult love), in which every emotion is amplified and felt tenfold. if dean had got the chance to be with cassie for longer, I believe he would have come to love her in a more mature way and they might have lasted.

lisa: I think dean loved lisa and deeply cared for her, however I don't think they ever really fit. In comparison I’d say he and cassie were a lot more compatible. I think dean was drawn to lisa because she and ben represented the heterosexual ideal of the traditional nuclear family he thought he was supposed to want. aside from the fact that going to lisa at the end of swan song was basically sam's dying wish, I think in that moment in particular he was probably drawn to the comfort of a stable traditional family, after losing his own (with sam dying and cas leaving to fix the situation in heaven). overall I think dean and lisa's relationship provided comfort and a sense of belonging, but I don't believe he was ever truly happy while he was with her, partly because he was still grieving, but also because he was changing parts of himself to try and adapt to the traditional role of husband/father he was trying to fulfill.

cas: in comparison with all the other relationships listed before, dean's relationship with cas is in another league entirely. the depth and intensity of their connection and dean's feelings for him become even more obvious when you compare them to dean's other love interests. aside from the slow burn spanning 12 years, aside from the symbolism surrounding their story, at its core their relationship is one rooted in a profound bond of friendship. it's utter trust and mutual respect and love, it's devotion and shared values, it's knowing one other so well but still being able to surprise each other, it's companionship and partnership, inside jokes and found family. it's shared trauma and mirrored experiences, it's silent communication, affection and care, it's indulging but also cherishing each other's quirks and interests, it's deep mutual understanding and compatibility. it's selfless and it's genuine and it's real, the only real thing in the universe and an active act of free will. I believe dean is in love with cas, like he's never been with anyone else. there is an unconditional quality to his feelings for cas that wasn't there with any of his other relationships. It’s not something he fully understands of course and it takes him years to even start to recognize the nature of those feelings (which he then proceeds to bury as deep as possible), but dean is always choosing cas over and over. he cares for him and worries about him constantly, and even when he’s pissed at him, he actively tries to fix it and he knows he will forgive him, no questions asked. and even despite how difficult it is for dean to vocalize emotions and feelings, there are multiple times where he genuinely tries to do that for cas, because he wants him to know and he wants to share those feelings with him. he finds cas endearing, he values his advice and his opinions, he likes to make him smile and cas makes him smile too. he feels comfortable in talking about personal stuff with him even early on during their friendship and he wants cas to do the same, he’s utterly devastated when cas is gone, he wants to protect him despite cas being an actual angel of the lord. he makes him watch his favorite movies because he likes sharing things with him, he loves cas’ quirks and personality. he trusts him, he relies on him and he wants him to stay, he always wants him to stay.

#supernatural #destiel #spn #dean winchester #jensen ackles #castiel #misha collins #deancas #benny lafitte #deanbenny #crowley #drowley #lisa braeden #deanlisa #cassie robinson #deancasssie

81 notes · View notes

spiders-hth-is-an-outlier · 3 years

Note

Possibly a big ask to get just out of the blue but: what are your Supernatural season opinions? Which one is your favorite? Least favorite? Did you watch long enough to have showrunner opinions? If yes, which showrunner is your favorite and which is your least favorite? If no, which season that you haven't seen most tempts you to get back in the Supernatural trenches? Answer exactly as many of these questions as you want to. Carry on.

You know, I am not sure how long this Ask has been sitting here, because my Tumblr notifications are borked -- I hope not long? If long, I apologize, I wasn't ignoring it on purpose!

Okay, so I have more than the average number of Supernatural opinions, probably, but I'll try to keep this to a dull roar! Inside Me There Are Two Wolves: one of them believes that only the original five seasons of Supernatural are worth defending in any way, the other really, really loves seasons 11 and 12. The Kripke Era had a lot of problems, particularly in its treatment of women as bodies without agency and its treatment of Black men as literal predators, but also for all its flaws, it had a kind of coherence and narrative drive that comes from being the product of a dude who obviously cared about it and had something to say. Taken on its own, seasons 1-5 are a brutal and compelling story about the traumas of being men in a universe that's been absolutely destroyed by its Fathers: on almost every level, it's about these abandoned and brutalized boys discovering that their entire reality is the product of an abandoning and brutalizing God, populated by authority figures who are universally demanding and arrogant, but also completely fucking useless. It's quite literally about Sam and Dean trying to hang onto their souls and their own agency when everyone around them wants them forced into shapes formed by conflicts that fell into place at the beginning of time. It's hard to remember, but back then even the Lucifer plotline was about that! It was about the damage fathers inflict on sons! Things were about things, in the Kripke era!

Then we get to the Gamble era, and. Woof. I actually -- don't hate 6 and 7? Like everything Sera Gamble touches, those two seasons are kinetic and memorable and funny and weird and hit some really, really great emotional beats. There are Some Problems, but Gamble was saddled with a pretty dire job, trying to find a way forward after everything about the series really had effectively wrapped up in Swan Song, and I think she did an okay job. People got mad at her for killing Castiel, but you know, damn, I give her this: that was a storyline. Like, this character who was fresh out of the cult he was raised in becoming disillusioned by how messy normal life is and deciding that maybe people need better authoritarianism instead -- the way he's driven to take too many risks by the fact that he's abandoned and desperate -- Crowley as a legitimately scary villain while still being charming af -- and the tragic resolution of Castiel being torn apart by both his hubris and his heroism. It's actually really good. I understand why people didn't want what Gamble was serving up -- and I'm able to like it because it was undone later, you know? -- but she really did commit to a full season of character arc and saw it all the way through to an earned ending, and I gotta respect that.

I genuinely hate seasons 8 and 9. I think everyone is a dick, particularly but not exclusively Dean, to the point where I just find it a bummer to watch. I mean, you get Benny, and I love Benny. You get, I dunno, bits and bobs of decent episodes, but overall they are very fucked up seasons in my opinion. So Carver era is on thin fucking ice with me, but I do think you start to get a rebound in season 10 with the Mark of Cain stuff, although I wish they'd managed to keep Cain around longer. All the really good Claire stuff starts happening, which is nice because Claire, but also because for once the show is really letting itself go back and deal with the mess these protagonists leave behind them constantly. Castiel and Claire have maybe the most interesting non-Winchester relationship on the show. Oh, and Rowena shows up around here too, right? Love her. So the back half of Carver, 10 and 11, are starting to really gain traction for me. The world is building outward, secondary characters are starting to be genuine characters in their own right, the politics of Heaven and Hell get a little richer and more interesting. The show is really starting to feel like it takes place in a universe, which is great because we love the Frigging Winchesters, but they shouldn't be the only thing going, right? We have 15 seasons to get through! Season 11 is basically bracketed by what are probably my two favorite Supernatural episodes: Baby and Don't Call Me Shurley. (I think I'm the world's only living Metatron fan; I fucking love that little dude.)

Dabb takes over in 12, and I really, really, genuinely love season 12. I fucking love Mary. There are so many episodes I adore -- Celebrating the Life of Asa Fox is a special favorite of mine, and I remain pissed off that the Banes twins never made it to recurring status, bluntly that feels wildly racist to me -- probably the best three-episode streak in the show is Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets to Regarding Dean to Stuck In the Middle (With You), three just almost perfect episodes. So I was poised to really love the Dabb era. I wanted to! My body was ready!

And I do really love the first chunk of season 13, the Widow Winchester arc. Obviously I'm a romantic, love that for me, but it's just also really good? The acting, the writing, the psychological complexity of Dean wanting Jack to be Bad so he has an outlet for his anger and Sam wanting Jack to be Good so he can retroactively parent himself and raise a Lucifer-tainted child who isn't crippled by self-loathing. Billie's great, and it looks like she's going to start being one of the major powers of the universe. Unfortunately -- with the occasional exception of this or that solid episode -- that's kind of the end of Pretty Good Supernatural. Season 13 kind of unravels; season 14 always feels like it's looking for itself (which is a bummer, because I wanted very much to care about Michael); season 15 is, idk. Idk about any of it, it's all pretty pointless. I feel bad complaining on some level, because the show's been on for like fourteen years at this point! It's kinda justified in feeling a little worn out. But the reality is that the later seasons systematically undo all the expansion that had excited me earlier -- the Wayward Sisters crew pretty much vanishes when the spinoff isn't picked up, Naomi and the angels stop doing anything, Crowley's gone, Mary's gone for much of it. We're just kind of futzing around with monsters who don't seem to matter (very much including Lucifer, who hasn't mattered in ages) and a lot of Jack, who. I try not to shit all over, because I know he's a popular character, but I find him just ungodly boring. Everything in the last two and a half season just feels like it's headed nowhere in particular, and also it bored me. The Empty deal is just sadness porn; it doesn't have any resonance or meaning in terms of Castiel's character, it's just him agreeing to die for his kid, which is okay, it means he's a loving dad, which he is, but there's no conflict there, ergo no real drama. It's just mean; it happens because it'll make us sad, and no other reason. Rowena is the only strong secondary character left, and her ending also doesn't feel particularly relevant to her, it's just a generic Sacrifice to Save the World. Everything just feels like they're autogenerating plotlines, rather than letting the actual needs and drives of the characters shape the narrative. So while I have this weird split personality with Carver where I either hate what he's doing or I love it, most of the Dabb era is just. There. It doesn't make me feel anything except kind of tired and embarrassed. Which is a bummer, because I have an inexplicable fondness for Dabb, probably just because of how much I love s12. I wanted to love his seasons! I did love his first season! I feel like maybe something happened when the CW rejected Wayward Sisters? I know that was kind of his darling, and it feels like maybe losing that kind of sucked the joy out of him, and he's kind of checked-out by the end. That's genuinely just my guess, however.

That's Professor Milo's Intro to Supernatural Studies, don't forget to fill out your course survey on the way out!

7 notes · View notes

princessconsuelapark · 4 years

Photo

my ultimate Sam and Dean are soulmates playlist | 61 songs, 3 hr 59 min

I started putting this together over my summer SPN re-watch, and I thought I'd share it with you all, so we can all cry over our Wincest feels together. It has all the usual cliché songs, and some of my own favourites. (Very country-heavy, so if that's not your thing proceed with caution.) I'm a writer, so lyrics are very important to me - I linked them for every song. All songs are individually YouTube linked, alternatively you can find the Spotify version above. I included some comments and explanations for all my choices, as well as quotes from the show. Happy listening! | Last updated: 18 November 2020

Carry On My Wayward Son by Supernatural: The Musical Cast // lyrics // Cliché and all that, but a good place to start.

Somewhere Only We Know by Lily Allen // lyrics // Even as children - as tumultuous and layered their relationship has always been - it was just the two of them, alone, in their own little world. I Found by Amber Run // lyrics // I found love where it wasn't supposed to be.

Fade Into You by Mazzy Star // lyrics // Unhealthily codependent Weecest vibes.

I Wanna Be Yours by Arctic Monkeys // lyrics // Secrets I have held in my heart / Are harder to hide than I thought. Something's Gotta Give by Christian Kane // lyrics // Wanting to get out of town as a metaphor for Dean wanting to act on his feelings for Sam? Yes, please. Christian Kane being a country god? Absolutely. The fact that this man was actually on SPN as Dean’s freaking love interest, and Jensen and him got to sing together still makes me the happiest person on this planet.

Don't You Wanna Fall by Frankie Ballard // lyrics // So, I love the lines Fall down here where an angel should know better than / To walk around this world with me, because god, Dean so often thinks he belongs in Hell, and is terrified of forcing his little brother into anything he doesn’t want. But still, he can’t stop himself: Don’t you wanna fall? (Shoutout to any Destiel shippers out there, because what a perfect song for you guys too, wow.) Thinking of You by Christian Kane // lyrics // Dean, just before Sam leaves for Stanford. (Link is for the Leverage version, because I love that show, and because Eliot Spencer is an angel. Funnily enough, Alona Tal was actually in that very episode, and did actually sing this song - you can find that here.) Hold On by Limp Bizkit // lyrics // I'm waiting for you, I know you're leaving / I'll still adore you, you never need me. LOST BOY by Troye Sivan // lyrics // Thinking about little Sammy’s stolen college admissions guide. Arms of a Stranger by Niall Horan // lyrics // Some jealous!Dean, while Sam is at Stanford angst.

Walking Away by Lifehouse // lyrics // Silence is all we have to give / And the memories of a life I wish we'd lived.

San Francisco by Niall Horan // lyrics // Listen, it’s a song about pining and not being able to let go and love in San Francisco. I mean, where do you expect my mind to go? Stanford Wincest all the way. How Did You Know? by Jedward // lyrics // I don’t wanna hear a bad word about Jedward, they are good lads. It’s a cheesy song, but hey, I love it. Sam comes back. Well, here I am / I couldn't stay gone. Drive by Halsey // lyrics // All we do is drive / All we do is think about the feelings that we hide. And the California never felt like home to me line! So perfect. "We made a hell of a team back there." (01x01 Pilot) Belong by X Ambassadors // lyrics // This is where Sam belongs, really. Riding shotgun, in his brother’s car, on the open road. Link is a fanvid that makes me feel things. Go and watch it, because it’s everything.

You Could Be Happy by Snow Patrol // lyrics // “Sam, you were right. You gotta do your own thing. You gotta live your own life.” (01x11 Scarecrow) Do the things that you always wanted to / Without me there to hold you back, don't think, just do.

Big Black Car by Gregory Alan Isakov // lyrics // "Who was that?" "My brother." "What did he say?" "Goodbye." That soft, disbelieving, confused look on Sam's face when Dean tells him he's proud of him. When it turns out Dean loves him enough to let him go. It should make him feel happy and free, it should make him loathe his childhood, defiance should fill him to the brim. Instead it makes him run straight back to Dean. (01x11 Scarecrow) Hey Brother by Avicii // lyrics // Faith. (01x12) Link is a fanvid, because reasons. Oh, if the sky comes falling down, for you / There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do. Sober Me Up by Frankie Ballard // lyrics // Sam always seems to make the world all fall into place. (Sort of 02x03 Bloodlust vibes?) But baby when you kiss me all the demons seem to disappear.

Always Gold by Radical Face // lyrics // “Killing this demon comes first, before me, before everything.” “No, sir. Not before everything.” (02x07 The Usual Suspects) And they said you were the crooked kind / And that you'd never have no worth / But you were always gold to me. Sold My Soul by Zakk Wylde // lyrics // Bit on the nose, but my god, how fucking real. (02x22 All Hell Breaks Loose: Part 2) Let Me Sign by Kirk Matthews // lyrics // "Well, then let it end!" & "I'm gonna take care of you." (02x22 All Hell Breaks Loose: Part 2) Follow You by Bring Me The Horizon // lyrics // “I mean, you sacrifice everything for me. Don’t you think I’d do the same for you? You’re my big brother. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.” (02x22 All Hell Breaks Loose: Part 2) Say Something by A Great Big World // lyrics // "I just wish you'd drop the show and be my brother again. Cause... just cause." (03x07 Fresh Blood) Take Me To Church by Hozier // lyrics // “This obsession to save Dean? The way you two keep sacrificing yourselves for each other? […] Dean’s your weakness. And the bad guys know it, too.” (03x11 Mystery Spot) Outlaws of Love by Adam Lambert // lyrics // "You're my weak spot. And I'm yours." (03x16 No Rest for the Wicked) Everywhere we go we're looking for the sun / Nowhere to grow old, we're always on the run / They say we'll rot in Hell, but I don't think we will / They've branded us enough, "Outlaws of Love". Wanted Dead Or Alive by Bon Jovi // lyrics // Well, I had to include this one, for obvious reasons. (03x16 No Rest for the Wicked) In Other Words by Ben Kweller // lyrics // Dean's going to Hell. Sam's not okay. In his eyes I see the fear. Real With Me by Cady Groves // lyrics // Dean is not dealing well with remembering Hell. Sam is upset that he's not opening up. And it was never about what you were not / But I don't know how much longer I can hold on. Devil's Backbone by The Civil Wars // lyrics // None of it matters. Leaving for Stanford, choosing Ruby, the demon blood, that he’s Hell’s chosen. Dean will always come for his brother, no matter what. Stay by Florida Georgia Line // lyrics // Sam leaves. It's fucked up. "Hey, you, uh... wanna take the Impala?" Dean doesn’t trust him, not like he used to, but he would say anything to make him stay. (05x02 Good God, Y’all) Hotel Room by Calum Scott // lyrics // They die in a motel room. They find out they share a Heaven. Sam can't find the words to explain. He wishes Dean would just give him time. (05x04 The End) So I kind of wrote a ficlet about this...? Read it if you fancy. Here Tonight by Brett Young // lyrics // The Wincestiest Wincest song to ever Wincest. The lyrics! Sometimes they can just take a minute to sit on the hood of the Impala and watch the stars, Apocalypse be damned.

I Hold On by Dierks Bentley // lyrics // “Sam, it’s okay. It’s okay, I’m here, I’m here. I’m not gonna leave you.” (05x22 Swan Song) Dean believes in his brother, and I’m a sucker for pick-up truck metaphors Lifeboats by Snow Patrol // lyrics // The look on Dean's face when he hugs Sam, when he realises that Sam's back, that he's alive. (06x01 Exile on Main St.) Potentially also some Purgatory vibes. Wild Horses by The Rolling Stones // lyrics // The moment Sam turned up on his doorstep, there was no question he'd choose him. Choose him over Lisa and Ben. Choose him over everyone. “But the minute he walked through that door, I knew. It was over. You two have the most unhealthy, tangled-up, crazy thing I've ever seen. And as long as he's in your life, you're never gonna be happy.” (06x06 You Can’t Handle The Truth) Heavydirtysoul by twenty one pilots // lyrics // “Pick one... Sam’s soul or Adam’s.” “Sam.” (06x11 Appointment in Samarra)

H.O.L.Y. by Florida Georgia Line // lyrics // Oh, this song. A bit of religious irony and whatnot, but my god. The lyrics are everything. You're the healing hands where it used to hurt immediately makes me think of how Dean helped Sam turn the pain from his scar on his palm into “stone number one, and build on it”. (07x02 Hello, Cruel World) I mean, Sam can't even tell what's real anymore, but he trusts his brother. Blindly and with everything he has, because that's who he is. But then there’s also Dean making his promise in the church, and Sam choosing him over dying in 09x01 (I Think I’m Gonna Like It Here). God. Just. I love this song for Sam and Dean.

Through The Dark by One Direction // lyrics // "We'll figure it out, okay? Just like we always do." (08x23 Sacrifice) Leave Out All The Rest by Linkin Park // lyrics // Sam is okay with sacrificing himself. He is ready to die. When my time comes / Forget the wrong that I've done. Demolition Lovers by My Chemical Romance // lyrics // “There is nothing, past or present, that I would put in front of you... I need you to see that." (08x23 Sacrifice) Okay, but look at the lyrics, and try and convince me this song is not about Sam and Dean. Love Will Tear Us Apart by Fall Out Boy // lyrics // "You wanna know what I confessed in there?" (08x23 Sacrifice) TALK ME DOWN by Troye Sivan // lyrics // The look in Sam’s eyes changes, his face falls. "How do I stop?" He chooses Dean like he always does. (08x23 Sacrifice) Brother by Kodaline // lyrics // “Come on. You and Dean? That’s something special, don’t you think?” (09x08 Rock and a Hard Place) Link is a gorgeous fanvid, go watch it and cry. Little Lion Man by Mumford & Sons // lyrics // Dean really messed up this time. Gadreel fall out stuff. Sam breaks up with him in a motel car park in Wisconsin. (09x12 Sharp Teeth)

better off by Jeremy Zucker & Chelsea Cutler // lyrics // "Something's broken here, Dean." (09x12 Sharp Teeth) & "No, Dean, I wouldn't." (09x13 The Purge)

I Can't Go On Without You by KALEO // lyrics // Sam taking Dean’s body home, laying him on his bed, drinking by himself in the dark. (09x23 Do You Believe in Miracles) I Won't Give Up by Noah Guthrie // lyrics // "I am going to save my brother." (10x01 Black) Sam never gives up on Dean. Brother by NEEDTOBREATHE ft. Gavin DeGraw // lyrics // “I never even said thank you, so…” “You don’t ever have to say that, not to me.” (10x04 Paper Moon) Link is another beautiful fanvid, because I can’t help myself. Sittin' Pretty by Florida Georgia Line // lyrics // Sam's sunshine and he’s endless planes of warm skin, soft long hair, and sometimes Dean looks at him. Really looks at him. (No, okay, but the Chevy line really made it for me.) Blood Brothers by Luke Bryan // lyrics // "I don’t need a symbol to remind me how I feel about my brother.” and "The two of us against the world!” "What she said.” (10x05 Fan Fiction) I don’t know, country songs just make me think of Sam and Dean, okay.

I Will Follow You Into The Dark by Daniela Andrade // lyrics // “This is my life. I love it. But I can’t do it without my brother. I don’t want to do it without my brother. And if he’s gone, then I don’t…” (10x18 Book of the Damned)

Golden by Fall Out Boy // lyrics // Dean is so so broken. “No, there is no other way, Sam. I’m sorry.” (10x23 Brother’s Keeper)

Church by Fall Out Boy // lyrics // This whole song screams Sam and Dean to me, and initially I thought of Sam’s Wall breaking down, but then I got stuck on the lines And if death is the last appointment / Then we're all just sitting in the waiting room / I am just a human trying to avoid my certain doom and that’s so clearly Dean killing Death, unable to murder his little brother in the end, because his devotion to Sam runs too deep. (10x23 Brother’s Keeper) In which the SPN writers and Pete Wentz really should get together and discuss over-the-top religious imagery. You are doomed but just enough. Right Back Home by Lifehouse // lyrics // “We are home.“ (11x04 Baby) Be There by Seafret // lyrics // "Bring him back. Bring him back and take me instead." (11x17 Red Meat) You're my way out / You're my way through / And I can't, I can't / Be without you.

Only the Brave by Louis Tomlinson // lyrics // “I need him, he needs me.“ (11x23 Alpha and Omega) With or Without You by U2 // lyrics // The absolute poetic tragedy of 12x09 (First Blood). The way they don’t even have time to really look at each other after six weeks apart, that they are both ready to die for each other without a moment of hesitation.

I Won't Mind by ZAYN // lyrics // “I'm good with who I am. I'm good with who you are. Because our lives? They're ours and maybe I'm too damn old to want to change that.” (14x13 Lebanon)

Fine Line by Harry Styles // lyrics // "Just us.” (15x19 Inherit the Earth)

#spn playlist #supernatural playlist #sam and dean playlist #wincest playlist #sam and dean #wincest #sam x dean #spn #supernatural #wincest quotes #wincest song recs #this is how i'm coping with the show ending okay #leave me alone i'm sad #spn s15 #my post #sam winchester #dean winchester #15x20 #the epic love story of sam and dean

58 notes · View notes

prince-of-elsinore · 4 years

Text

On the Weechesters that could have been

Or, Supernatural has a flashback problem

So, I've been thinking a lot about Dean's confession ("I didn't know what I would've done if I didn't have you," "it was always you and me") and how it shapes my view of season one and my pre-series headcanons. On the one hand, it really only confirms what we could already infer, but on the other, it enshrines as canon, beyond a doubt, just how big a deal the events of the pilot were to Dean, how much he wanted and needed Sam in his life. Meaning Dean already knew back then that Sam was it for him. It's possible he didn't fully examine or accept this until after Sam had left, but either way, the groundwork for that need was laid in their childhood. Despite various complaints Dean has voiced over the years (either jokingly or seriously) about having to look after Sam, all he wanted at 26 was to have his brother at his side again, and that could only arise from true affection and attachment--and yeah, an unhealthy dose of codependency.

And we know the affection and codependency run both ways, even if it wasn't as explicitly stated on Sam's part, especially in season one. Personally, I trust Jared Padalecki to understand Sam best, and he's said that Sam's happiest moment was committing to getting back on the road with his brother--despite the fact that back then, Sam's assumption was that he would return to his normal life after they found Jess's killer. Jared has also said something to the effect of "Sam loved his father and brother so much he had to leave" which definitely reframes his decision to go to Stanford--because of, rather than in spite of, his love. How to make sense of these statements? They only track if Sam really is just as smitten (in the platonic sense) as Dean. In spite of whatever resentment he had towards Dean, he loved him (keep in mind, the deeper the love, the deeper the potential resentment) and, importantly, liked him, and was intrinsically tangled up in him. Everything Sam does and says makes perfect sense if you accept that Sam loved his family, but hated hunting. Of course he's upset that the father and brother he loves and needs go out and risk their lives all the time. He's right to be. And of course he would be especially upset that his brother doesn't even try to imagine a different life for himself, that he takes their father's word as law despite the damage it does to Dean. And, when Sam finally does leave, it hurts him that Dean doesn't try to understand his decision because it would shake Dean to his foundations to consider that Sam might be right, let alone to consider following him out of the life (as I believe Sam would have preferred, though he probably knew it was a lost cause). Dean can only see it as Sam abandoning him, even though for Sam it was always about leaving hunting, never about leaving his brother. Sam wanted nothing more than his brother on his side, by his side, and it broke his heart when Dean seemed to choose John over Sam. The tragedy of the Stanford split is that Sam and Dean each thought their worst fear was confirmed--for Dean, that Sam didn't need him, and for Sam, that Dean hated him--even though this really wasn't the case.

So, why this digression about the old Stanford grievance and the boys' headspaces in the pilot? Because I wish so much we got to see how they got there--and the flashback episodes, for the most part, do not show us. In fact, there's a frustrating pattern of flashbacks that don't really corroborate this textually-supported characterization of young Sam and Dean. Almost universally, the flashbacks concentrate on the brothers in isolation from each other, either physically or emotionally (or both). That's not to say that they're all bad episodes or that they don't reveal other important information about Sam and Dean. It does, however, give an overall skewed impression of their "normal" as kids, and presents something of a paradox in considering the Winchesters' childhood. We see, textually, that the brothers must have been extremely attached to each other growing up, beyond just Dean's sense of duty to look after Sammy (which is hammered home again and again, and again...), but this isn't the impression most flashbacks give. Let's take a closer look:

1x18 Something Wicked--Sam is too young to be much of player. It's all about Dean and his sacrifices/responsibility for Sam--all important stuff, but aside from Sam offering Dean the prize in the cereal box, there isn't much evidence of actual affection between them. Dean appears only put upon--fair enough for a young kid given such (way too much!) responsibility, but it's to the complete exclusion of any potential positive emotion, even fondness, for Sam.

3x08 A Very Supernatural Christmas--This flashback is the exception, and it's why it's my favorite! This was a crucial moment for the brothers in their young lives, when they chose each other over anyone else. Sam trusts Dean, not his father. Dean tries to put on a nice Christmas for Sam because he feels it's his job, yes, but he then experiences genuine gratitude when Sam gives him the pendant. They lean on each other. They comfort each other. In short, we see the why and the how of their relationship. I wish every flashback accomplished what this one does.

4x13 After School Special--The focus is mostly on Sam and his relationship with Barry and that English teacher, with a big emphasis on Sam's dissatisfaction with his life. That's super important, but I can't think of any moment between Sam and Dean that reads like anything other than pretty average brothers... which they are decidedly not. The episode drives home the diverging desires of the brothers more than anything.

5x16 Dark Side of the Moon--Not strictly a flashback episode, but we do glimpse important memories in Sam and Dean's heaven. Dean's 4th of July memory is iconic for a reason--it's one of those rare moments we really see why these brothers feel the way they do about each other. They're having actual fun together--the only time we get to see young Winchesters doing that! We all know which of Sam's memories were in heaven, though, and how that made Dean feel. Now, it makes sense that Sam would cherish moments when he was getting away from The Life, but the fact that the writers again chose to prioritize this (beat a dead horse, one could say), over showing a single good memory Sam had of the family he supposedly (actually, really!) loves, feels wrong and motivated solely by the plot's need for more artificial brother drama. Could anyone really blame a casual viewer for believing that Sam doesn't love his brother as much as Dean loves him? And yes, one can make excuses--Sam probably had lots of heaven memories of Dean that weren't shown! Zachariah was messing with them!--but it's still on the writers to make that clear.

5x23 Swan Song--I'm including this one for the flashes we get of little Sam and Dean in the Impala. These are beautiful moments, but it amounts to telling, not showing: we get toy soldiers and legos, and a brief shot of Sam and Dean carving their initials. What we don't see is the impetus behind that action. We are essentially told how to feel about these things. (Don't get me wrong, I think it's still a really well done episode and I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel exactly what it wanted me to feel--I'm just pointing out a pattern.)

7x03 The Girl Next Door--Dean is only present as a voice on the other end of a phone call (do we even hear him? Can't remember. Don't think so). Oh, and Sam has doubts, yet again, about hunting monsters. Hm, I think we've been here before. Sam has an instant connection with a girl he just met and he seems ready to put her before his family. I get that he doesn't want her to die, which is sympathetic. But again, one would be forgiven for thinking he does not care about--or even actively hates--both John and Dean. Maybe he does hate them a little bit in this moment, and wouldn't that be interesting to explore? (Cue Jared saying Sam had to leave because he loved John and Dean so much! He couldn't stand the thought of it all turning to resentment! It makes so much sense!) But, alas, the episode just doesn't go there.

9x07 Bad Boys--This time it's the Dean show, and we get to see Dean finding happiness away from his family, even if he needs some time to warm to the apple pie life. Okay, cool to know this about Dean. And the moment at the end is interesting, and gratifying for brothers fans, since Dean doesn't seem pulled back out of a mere sense of grudging obligation to Sam--he gives such a genuine, loving smile when he sees him. He wants to go back to Sam. But it's just a gesture, telling rather than showing again. We don't know why Sam makes him feel that way.

11x08 Just My Imagination--The only brother interaction, over the phone, doesn't reveal much about how the brothers feel about each other, though it does hint that Dean would ultimately come down on their father's side when John and Sam were at odds. Dean asks John, on Sam's request, to bring Sam along on a hunt, but he doesn't press the issue when John refuses. If anything, this leaves me more curious than ever about what the good in their relationship looked like, if Sam was so often disappointed by Dean's kowtowing to their father.

Sully seems a bit like English Teacher 2.0, encouraging young Sam to figure out what he wants for himself and reject the family business. I think it's quite well done and sweet, actually, and it's nice that in the end Sully actually thanks adult Dean for looking after Sam (how rare for anyone to acknowledge that), and Dean likewise comes to appreciate Sully. In the flashbacks, we learn that Sam was eager to join in hunts when he was little, which is interesting and sad when you think about how that changed. Already, though, he must feel pretty ambivalent, because he's seriously considering running away at the same time. Ultimately, Sam chooses his family--articulating that what he wants is to be with his dad and Dean--and rejects Sully's message of self-determination. He makes the decision that may not be best for him, but he's motivated by love. It seems in character, and hints at the claustrophobic pull of the Winchester family. Yet again, though, we are left to fill in the blanks ourselves about why Sam wants to be with his dad and Dean. In fact, the motivations for his two apparently conflicting desires--to stay or run away--are never very clearly laid out. We don't know what, specifically, Sam doesn't like about the hunting life, when part of him also wants to hunt, and we don't know what it is about his family--what good memories, desires, or needs--that draws him back to it.

15x16 Drag Me Away (From You)--It's unfortunate that the young actors had no chemistry whatsoever, but the script also didn't do them any favors as far as displaying their dynamic. Dean has a moment of vulnerability (if you squint) over Sam thinking about college, but aside from that, it's almost amazing how little the brothers interact, given that they're staying in a motel together, on their own. What a missed opportunity. Can you imagine if the episode had focused even a little more on Sam and Dean, rather than on their interactions with those other random kids? If it had given us just a fraction of the relationship "A Very Supernatural Christmas" managed to show in such an understated, poignant way? You wouldn't know these brothers liked or loved each other from this episode. When Dean said "We made a good team" I was honestly baffled because they barely did anything together. You could argue Dean was reaching with that statement because he was desperate, but again, there's nothing actually shown to back that up.

Ultimately, what these flashbacks show can all be true--it doesn't negate what we know about Sam and Dean from the show's present. Of course, like any brothers, they teased and annoyed the hell out of each other. Of course they had vastly diverging desires for themselves and their lives--that's sort of the premise of the show and characters in the early seasons. These aspects of their relationship are true, but these aspects are not the whole story, which is why it's frustrating that almost every flashback focuses exclusively on these things. From the flashbacks alone, you might think Dean is only about "protect Sammy" (and later, "order Sammy around") and Sam is only about "I hate my life (and by extension, family)." Most of us could tell all along--and the finale confirms--that there's another story underneath this one, though, of two brothers who are soulmates, destined to find each other like magnets again and again.

But this requires the astute viewer to do a lot of legwork in characterizing the brothers' childhood dynamic beyond what's shown--partly as a result of some logistical and practical issues (especially with child actors), to be sure, but mostly of lazy writing. There's a difference between respecting your audience's intelligence enough not to spoon-feed them every detail, and expecting them to pick up the slack and make excuses when your characterization and plotting is inconsistent or one-note. This is far from the most egregious example of this in Supernatural, but the finale had me thinking more closely about what is canon for the pre-series era, and it drove home how much it applies to the flashbacks.

So what would I have liked to have seen? What it comes down to is interaction between the brothers. The only flashback where we have both brothers in equal focus, interacting with each other rather than outside characters, is "A Very Supernatural Christmas." It's impossible to show the progression and significance of a relationship when you consistently show only one side of it at a time (or don't even focus on said relationship when both parties are in the same room--looking at you, 15x16). Sam and Dean are the heart of the show, and they should have--together--been the heart of the majority of flashbacks. It's not that Sam wasn't a lonely kid, but as Dean says to Sam in "Just My Imagination": "You had me!" Of course, Dean's memory is skewed--he isn't thinking about all the times he went off with John on a hunt and left Sam behind, and hell, even when Dean was supposed to be babysitting, we know from "Plucky Pennywhistle's Magical Menagerie" that he sometimes dumped Sam. But I can't believe that Dean is totally wrong, either. Sam and Dean must have been each other's best--only--friends, living the life they did. What we see rarely looks like friendship, and it certainly doesn't track as a basis for the codependency we see in the series present, starting with the pilot. That didn't come from nowhere, though.

I would have loved to have seen that first hunt Sam went on in Milwaukee, after he left Sully. I would have loved to have seen Dean, proud of his little brother becoming a hunter. Or Dean, looking out for Sam on a hunt (and treating Sam's peril like a bigger deal than he does in 15x16, where it barely phases him). I wish I'd seen the moment that made Sam reject a future as a hunter, after his initial excitement. Did something happen on a hunt? Was it the violence of it? The brutality against a monster with a human face? Or the peril? Was there a moment when Sam's life was in danger? Or perhaps, a moment when John's or Dean's was, that scared Sam even more? I wish I'd seen Sam grappling with how leaving hunting would mean leaving the family he loves. I wish I'd seen him mention it to Dean, try just once to convince him to try a different life, and get shot down. I wish I'd seen more of the Dean who wants to give Sammy the world, struggling with the increasingly impossible task of balancing Sam's wants and needs with John's orders. Dean, caught in the middle of their arguments and torn apart by it. Sam, hurt when Dean doesn't back him up. Dean, terrified that Sam might actually follow through with that college pipe dream. Perhaps all of this would have been indulgent (not to mention difficult to film, with the right child actors and JDM), but even part of it would have allowed for some nuanced characterization.

More than anything, though, I would have liked to have seen a few more of the good memories, because they are actually important to understanding the characters and the story. It's not about fluff; it's about showing rather than telling. What are the good memories that made Sam love Dean and even his dad? Sam's anger towards their father is all the more compelling and believable if there is a fierce love underneath the layers of resentment and betrayal. And you know what's even more sad than a kid whose dad didn't make it home for X occasion? A kid whose dad did come home, just once, and the kid who enshrines that one perfect memory because they don't realize how messed up it is that it's such a rarity. Or, if it wasn't John making it home for one holiday, maybe it was the one time Sam remembers getting John's approval in some way--it could be any number of small things. The good that a character holds onto, no matter how small a scrap, says a lot about them. And the same goes for Sam and Dean. Where was Sam the social outcast, wanting but struggling to fit in, grateful that at least he doesn't have to put on a pretense of normality around his brother? Dean, feeling the same, though he'd never admit it? Dean, talking Sam up rather than tearing him down? How they felt safe, comfortable, only with each other? Even if they both had to act a certain way to earn the other's approval or admiration, that act must have felt worth it for the reward. Where was the Sam that looked up to and tried to emulate Dean, and the Dean that cherished that more than anything? Where were the moments of fun, the contentment Dean felt when he managed to put a smile on Sammy's face? The small acts of rebellion that united them, however briefly, against both their father and the world? The fireworks scene has to do so much heavy lifting all on its own, in the face of all the flashbacks that repeatedly give the opposite impression.

People are complex, of course, and we're fortunate to have two such complex characters as Sam and Dean. Both the good and the bad of their childhood, and their relationship with each other, are true, but the writers chose to emphasize one side much more than the other when it came to the flashbacks. As much as I'm a believer in the power of the audience's imagination and of transformative works, it is still up to the writers to guide that imagination in a certain way. Unfortunately, in the case of the flashbacks, that guidance is off-track and unbalanced at best, and negligent misguidance at worst. The story of Sam and Dean only makes sense with a more balanced picture. It only works if it really is about two brothers who love each other more than anything. It only makes sense if there's much more to their childhood relationship than we were shown. Now that the series is over, we won't be getting any more flashbacks (unless prequel series? Unlikely haha), so we're left to fill in these gaping blanks on our own. At least the finale gave us some good crumbs to work with.

#spn meta #weechesters #weechesters meta #sam and dean #dean winchester #sam winchester #winchester brothers #spn #spn critical #not like super critical. but it is a critique.#spn finale positive #my meta #musings #long post #wow like so much longer than the couple paragraphs i though i was gonna write oh well #responses welcome!#even if you disagree. just keep it civil

33 notes · View notes

hi-im-dazey · 4 years

Text

My first thoughts on 15x17

Behind the cut for head-canon and spoiler avoidance for them that wants ‘em

Chuck was writing versions. Each version had a different twist to set them on the path to Chuck's ending.

So what was the twist for this Sam-n-Dean that made them able to defy the narrative? Where was the moment that Chuck "screwed" his story and made actual free will?

I'll tell you what I think.

I think Chuck accidentally made one human with free will.

Only one.

Sam Fucking Winchester.

Sam can see and understand exactly what's going on. AND he is coming to realize that he is outside of Chuck’s control.

He knows Dean is being manipulated. Dean is clearly aware of it too, but he doesn't seem able to stop it. So what's the difference?

Sam told us, he told Dean, he told everyone, throughout the show, for 15 years,

‘It’s not who you are; it’s what you do.’

And because of this understanding, he relies on one particular trait of Dean's.

Dean will do literally anything to protect Sam. It's not always the right thing (he doesn't “always like it”) but in the end Sam knows and has always known the magic spell to trigger this trait in Dean. (call it “puppy dog eyes” if you want, but someone having blind trust in you, no matter what, is a helluva drug. Dean is addicted to it.)

But how come? Where did Chuck make his fatal error? What was the twist this time? The one that broke, not only the plot line Chuck wanted, but the character of Sam, as well. Making Sam incapable of following the narrative laid out before him.

I think the moment where Chuck made his mistake was the moment he had John hand the baby to the four-year-old. There’s a reason that’s the scene that kicks this all off.

A moment of extreme trauma and dire importance, literally burnt into Dean's brain.

Setting up this trait in Dean enabled Sam to truly push through any obstacle Chuck's story presented, because he knew Dean had his back when push came to shove.

Nothing bad was ever going to happen to him as long as Dean was around.

It's the song he grew up listening to.

"But," you say, "Everything that ever happened to Sam was quantifiable as ‘bad’!" (the joke of the only stroke of luck Sam Winchester ever had was that coffee cup landing on its ass is sad, but true)

Yes, and don't you think he has noticed that?

He’s given considerable thought to the fact he has survived this long with that much crap, against all odds, largely because of Dean. Anyone else would have been dead the first time and it would have stuck. Yet here he is. This has only reinforced the fact that Dean will try to do anything to save him. Not only will he try to do, he will succeed.

Without Dean he may have died at six months, or any time between then and now. It’s an important revelation when Dean tells Sam about carrying him out of the fire in season 1, Sam did not know that before then, but it makes Dean’s entire character snap into focus for him.

Sam has seen the pattern, he sees the hand of Chuck in their lives. He tries to break them out of the pattern over and over again.

Even before he fully understood what was happening and that it could be broken out of. Or that this was what he was doing. Before he was consciously breaking free, he still broke out of the plot.

Dean sees it too, he's not dumb.

But Dean's life did not belong to anyone, not the way Sam's has always been his responsibility. He only has Sam to help him break out of the hamster wheel, and I think they are just now seeing that.

I think Sam understands now, that for some reason, he is free and can refuse to do what is laid out before him. And, indeed, that he has been refusing his entire life.

He also understands that Dean can break out of the pattern too, but he needs Sam to help him.

Sam is the snapped fingers in the corner of Dean’s eye.

Sam is the trance breaker for Dean.

Sam is that moment of real panic that flooded his system when the house was burning and Sam’s life was in his hands.

That moment, that plot twist, is what broke Chuck’s story.

I’ve said before that the reason Chuck is afraid of Jack is that Jack was not written by Chuck, Jack is what the characters in the story wrote when Chuck left them alone (to go off and play with Amara), and in Unity Chuck admits there were things he “didn’t write”

So someone else must be writing things. When did that start, though? At what point did Chuck lose control of the authorship and accidentally allow another author into his sandbox?

Maybe when John Winchester handed a baby to a four-year-old. Maybe the reason Sam has free will is because he is also capable of writing in Chuck’s world. Or maybe he is capable of writing in Chuck’s world because he has free will.

What we saw in Unity was Chuck forcing his will on Dean to get to his poetic, tragic ending. He squeezed all of Dean’s rage up to the surface, and added more, he gave him an order direct to his nerve ending, squeezing his ink through Dean’s veins... “This time, fire that gun, boy!” Daddy’s blunt little instrument fed on rage and frustration and anger at being thwarted and impotence at being led on a string...

And Sam, again, snapped his fingers in the corner of Dean’s rage and broke him out. I think we saw Sam beginning to realize that he has the upper hand here.

And I don’t think Chuck has realized that Sam himself is, in fact, the issue.. yet.

Not the bullet hole, or Sam’s hope, or the demon blood, or the latent powers or missed destiny.

Sam’s existence and being are the issue. What Sam DOES, not who he is or was meant to be. Sam’s actual free will is the problem for Chuck. (and take a moment here to remember that almost every crisis Chuck wrote for Sam involved removing Sam’s agency and autonomy.)

He thinks they are all refusing to toe the line, I don’t think he understands that Sam is the one editing his book yet.

And what about Castiel? Well, the moment he shook hands with Sam, he was broken. His chassis may have come off the assembly line cracked, and Naomi may have patched him up time and again, but the second he shook hands with Sam, he was irredeemable for Chuck’s narrative.

Chuck inserts himself in to the story as the prophet, maybe to check in and see what’s going wrong? Figures out that Cass is broken (again?) and takes steps to make an opportunity to “remake” Cass. Then again, once back in Sam’s orbit, Cass is again, broken... there is something that cracks apart for Cass when he interacts with Sam.

This is not a shippy thing, btw. It’s being confronted with a creature that has actual free will... Cass is not equipped to handle that. He left the angel factory without that blind faith setting. He can ‘see’; and he ‘sees’ Sam. Every interaction with Sam shows him what is wrong with the rest of the story.

And again, Chuck rebuilds Cass, and this time traps him in a story where Cass himself is the villain. And Cass was a great villain, that was a good story, no matter how you feel about Cass or Misha, season 6 was a good story.

When Cass returns again, in season 7, hyperbole is gone now, he literally BREAKS himself upon touching Sam. There is no metaphor here, he takes on Sam’s brokenness, with a touch.

(”you’re broken [...]broken toys? You throw them away...”)

The only way Chuck could possibly hope to keep Castiel from being broken is if he can keep him away from Sam.

But Chuck hasn’t realized this yet. He tries to write a narrative that Naomi is “tuning him up as he transgresses” as she has in the past? or as she has in other worlds?

Is Dean what really breaks him free of Naomi?

No, touching the Angel Tablet does it... and again, this is just Chuck, writing his way to his preferred ending. The Narrative Cycle begins again because the Angel Tablet ‘resets’ Cass. This plot point starts us on yet another iteration of the “remove Sam’s agency so one of the brothers sacrifices either himself or the other” cycle.

~~~

Looping back again to the fifth season...

When Chuck says “endings are hard” in Swan Song he’s not talking about writing that ending. That ending was good, it was solid, it closed out the story on a note of melancholy hopefulness, Sam was gone, and the apocalypse averted. It wasn’t happy but it was complete.

That ending wasn’t hard to write.

It was hard for Chuck to read.

Because that wasn’t what he was trying to write, Sam took over his narrative. Sam refused to kill Dean, Sam refused to kill Adam, Sam refused to kill Michael or allow Michael to kill Lucifer, or allow Lucifer to kill either of Sam’s brothers or his own brother.

Sam effectively cock blocked Chuck’s little ‘fratricide 21-ways served in a light creamed-angel sauce with a side order of fried surrogate dad’ all you can eat and there’s dancing after banquet finale.

Cass comes back, almost immediately, because Chuck needs to re-boot the cycle. Because Sam screwed it up for him, again. (Maybe if Chuck takes Sam’s soul out of the equation... he can get some traction on his plan, this time.)

Sam Fucking Winchester is simultaneously Chuck Shurley’s hero, voice, protagonist, and muse.

He’s also Chuck’s biggest problem.

Sam Fucking Winchester is the corner Chuck has written himself into.

~~~

Now this is all just spit balling head-canon, and probably nowhere near where the writers are actually going, but it woke me up early and took over my brain and prevented me from doing my homework (which is also writing, to be honest) until I got it all out of my system.

~~~

Inserting standard disclaimer: (C-A-S-S is how they spell it on the show, and more importantly, it makes screen-reading software for the visually impaired pronounce it correctly; as opposed to C-A-S which makes screen-readers say “Kah.”)

#spn #spn spoilers #spn 15x17 #spn Unity #Sam Winchester #Dean Winchester #chuck shurley #Jack Kline #Castiel #Cass #non-shippy #head canon #spitballing #writers lie #alternate theory #posted 10-30-2020 #Spelling it Cass is screen reader friendly

9 notes · View notes

samsoleil · 4 years

Note

9 and 10?

ask game

V I am sending the most fond vibes in your direction I hope they make it there okay!!

10. Your favourite season and why.

Honestly? Either S2 or S11.

Season 2: Sam has psychic powers and Dean is terrified that his brother might actually be bad, but is still ride or die for him. This is where we can see their relationship flourish without the search for John hanging over their heads. But y'know what does hang over their heads? John telling Dean he'll either have to save Sam or kill him, and Sam who is desperate to be saved and willing to be killed. And then!! when Sam dies!!! Dean saves him in the worst possible way!!!! Also, it's visually gorgeous. You've got the high contrast vibes from S1 but slightly less desaturated and you've still got the grainy film texture. An excellent time.

Season 11: Listen. I still think it should have been Chuck sending Sam visions. And I don't particularly care for the B plot. But Sam and Dean peak in this season for the first time since pre-s4 and it was amazing. It's the immediate aftermath of Sam literally unleashing "a force on the world that could destroy it" to save Dean. Codependency at its peak. And in two mid-season episodes they absolutely nail the S2 energy. I mean, establishing beyond any doubt that Dean loves Sam? And then making him think Sam is dead in the very next episode? Where Sam is also the dictionary definition of BAMF? Not to mention, Sam is just. so understanding of Dean and his messy feelings about Amara. Love that for them.

9. What episodes best encapsulates the brother’s relationship? Does this change throughout the series? Doesn’t have to be the best episode btw.

To answer the second question, the brother’s relationship very obviously changes throughout the show. It’s obviously very codependent from the get go (especially from Sam’s perspective! Literally unendurable), and it varies in toxicity. Some seasons they are very soft! Some seasons I want to shout at Sam to run for the hills and never return. And then there are some episodes in seasons where their relationship is literally awful that are wonderfully tender (like 08x21 when Dean says “You gotta let me take care of you, man”).

Imo, S1-3 are peak brothers. S4/5 are excellent to watch but not the most tender. S6 is on thin fucking ice. S7-10 are, generally speaking, when I would absolutely be willing to kill a man (Dean), but are still SO compelling because these crazy kids are devoted and have no moral boundaries when it comes to the other. S11 is a return to the good stuff! I haven’t seen the seasons after that but from what I have seen, Sam becomes a Dean apologist and Dean just gets worse. But they’re still codependent, so that’s fine. “You were gonna leave and you weren’t even going to tell me?” and “What about me? Would you trade me?” are baller lines. Sam is a grown man but he’s out here saving the world by being Dean’s baby brother. Iconic of them.

OKAY so. First question. I originally had several episodes per season but I have to limit it to 2, this is going to be too long otherwise. Also, as you well know, I've only watched up to 12x06, so I won't include S12 here.

Episodes (and explanations) under the cut!

Obviously, both 01x01 Pilot and 15x20 Carry On. Literally the perfect bookends for this show. I don’t need to elaborate.

01x05 Bloody Mary - Has the moment where Dean actually has an emotional conversation with his brother, because he’s switched on to Sam’s emotional needs. He was willing to let Sam blame him for Jess’ death so that Sam didn’t blame himself! And near the end it has the iconic line "You're my brother and I'd die for you." Dean, right? No! It was Sam!! Anyone with any sort of reservations about whether Sam cared about Dean in early S1 can refer to this episode. It’s episode 5!! of the whole show!! and it has that line!!

01x11 Faith - Sam has absolutely no regrets about someone dying to save Dean's life. In retrospect, this episode says a lot about how much Sam loves Dean.

02x01 In My Time of Dying - Sam can sense that Dean is there, either through psychic powers or because they are soulmates. Both are good. Also, Dean is told that he may have to kill Sam, which influences their dynamic for the rest of the show <33

02x21 All Hell Breaks Loose Part 1 - Dean, on his knees in the mud, telling Sam's corpse that it'll be okay and screaming his name. That is all. Also, after thoroughly chewing out a victim earlier in the season for selling his soul to save a loved one, Dean sells his soul to save a loved one.

03x08 A Very Supernatural Christmas - Sam decorated a Christmas tree with pine air fresheners to give Dean a Christmas. Obsessed.

03x11 Mystery Spot - Dean dies repeatedly, then dies for good for about 6 months, and Sam becomes a ruthless hunter in order to bring him back. Dean spends longer dead in this episode than he actually does at the end of S4.

04x14 Sex and Violence - Dean's siren is literally just a version of Sam that is devoted to Dean and would do anything he says.

04x22 Lucifer Rising - Bobby coming for Dean's life. The VOICEMAIL!! Dean acting as though them being family is a cure-all and saying he'll beat Sam up, but also apologising. I'll take it. And then, of course, the voicemail Sam hears, which is more or less what Dean said in 04x04, and that being what tips him over the edge. The edge, of course, being killing Lilith to avenge Dean’s death, which has been his quest since the end of S3. Excellent.

05x16 Dark Side of the Moon - Ohoho. This episode. You know why this episode is here.

05x22 Swan Song - Same as the above! Dean who doesn't have a plan, just doesn't want his little brother to die alone. Sam, who fights off the devil himself and (essentially) kills himself to save his brother and the car they call their home. That memory sequence, for me, gave Sam the power not to save the world, but to save his brother. The world was just a bonus.

06x11 Appointment in Samara - "Dean doesn't care about me, he just cares about his little brother, Sammy, burning in hell. He'll kill me to get that other guy back." Dean's anger at himself for screwing up and forfeiting Sam's soul was. a lot. Also, Sam begging for his life and Dean just continuing anyway? Horrific. But very testament to their relationship at this point. Dean wants Sammy back and he WILL kill this other guy to do it.

06x22 The Man Who Knew Too Much - Sam being right about the consequences of having his soul put back in. And "You know me. You know why. I'm not leaving my brother alone out there."

07x03 The Girl Next Door - I was tossing up between this and 07x02 but. this has some flashbacks to past Sam!! Unfortunately, it also has Dean punching Sam for using the Impala, the car they both rely on to get around. And Dean murdering Sam's childhood friend for killing rapists. This isn’t an episode that makes you think “Awh, they’re codependent!”, it’s an episode that makes you send Sam vibes screaming at him to get out.

07x14 Plucky Pennywhistle's Magical Menagerie - Ever think that maybe Sam fears clowns because he associates them with being abandoned? Also, nostalgia vs reality.

08x09 Citizen Fang - The voicemail from S4 is still hanging over our heads. Dean asking “Does that sound like the Benny we know?” and Sam replying “I don’t know Benny.” Dean keeping Benny away from Sam because Sam is apparently the one who will kill monsters with no nuance or remorse. But this episode is on the list specifically because of how pivotal the line "Yes, I do – too well. In fact, every relationship I have ever had has gone to crap at some point. But the one thing I can say about Benny – he has never let me down." is in absolutely wrecking Sam's mental health down the road!

08x23 Sacrifice - For obvious reasons! “You know what I confessed in there? What my greatest sin was? It was how many times I let you down!” and then Dean’s speech of blatant lies. It sounded good, though. Dean really is that devoted, but unfortunately he has amnesia.

09x01 I Think I'm Gonna Like It Here - Autonomy violation. This is what advanced care directives are for. Dean being so dependent on Sam that he would violate his autonomy and trick him into consenting to possession. Dean will do anything to keep Sam alive, including destroy Sam.

09x16 Blade Runners - The parallels between Colette and Sam are unbearable. “Drop the blade.” Also, Dean becomes SO feral when Sam’s cheek gets cut.

10x19 Book of the Damned - Sam’s speech! “But I can’t do it without my brother. I don’t want to do it without my brother. And if he’s gone, then I don’t….”

10x24 Brother's Keeper - Ahahahahaaa. Sam kneeling down in front of Dean and letting him kill him, if he wants. Dean not doing so. Please do not emulate this relationship in your real human lives.

11x04 Baby - Obvious reasons. Also, the perfect example of how these two communicate. Dean clearly states his opinion so that Sam has something to base his arguments around, and then Sam provides his perspective. That meta about how Dean and Sam communicate and how Sam is the major decision maker opened my eyes. Impeccable takes.

11x16 Safe House - The thing Dean loves being Sam (and Sam being genuinely relieved that it was!!). Sam propping Dean’s sleeping body against the fridge while saying “I got you! Stay with me.” Him cradling Dean in his arms and patting his head and Dean being SO confused but not fighting it.

11x17 Red Meat - Okay, I lied about the 2 per season thing, I just needed all three of these episodes. They are too good to not include. Dean joking to hide how scared he is for Sam? Being willing to let all three of them die just because he thinks Sam is dead? Attempting/committing suicide to try to bring him back? Sam fighting through immense pain to get back to his brother? This episode is so good. They are absolute lunatics (affectionate).

#emblian #ask game #answered #spn #V I LOVE YOU!!#kael.txt

5 notes · View notes

lazarising · 3 years

Text

@lifeitselves and i finally finished rewatching (me) and watching first time (them) S1-5 of spn and let me tell you. it was a blast but toward the end it was a teeny bit miserable.

positives of the overall first season arc:

dean confronting his demons in relation to his father and other toxic feelings left over from childhood (but also him slowly being stripped of his young and dumb attitude)

sam becoming progressively less selfish, responsible, and more understanding

of course, cas’s progression from orderly angel to an angel sympathetic of humanity (which gets more and more apparent in the next few seasons)

for the most part, the narrative from the beginning to the end makes sense and is engaging. there isn't really a lull in the overall plot and there isn't much retconning. (if it's there it's not that noticeable)

NOW FOR THE BAD:

Season 5 is a mess! Easily could have been condensed and tacked onto the second half of season 4. So much of it drags on and is just unorganized. (episodes needing to be reordered or cut all together)

not enough motw episodes in season 5. everything is about the impending apocalypse so it all just feels like a drag. (or again, something that could have been added to a longer season 4)

i had somehow convinced myself that the "swan song" was a good ending for the overall show and while it is an extremely touching episode...it's not as good as an end as it could have been

The “End” (disclaimer: i know all the horrible ending things in swan song are there because it really isn't the end but I would like to imagine what to change if it was the end)

i think dean should have left lisa alone! leave that poor woman alone! she has a son and a house! she doesn't need you coming with all of your baggage and unwillingness to share any of it.

dean should have stayed in south dakota with bobby. bobby was the only family he had and he should have stayed with him at least for a little while. i understand wanting to be away from everything that just happened and to have the apple pie life, but bobby was like his father.

cas should have stayed with dean. dean was right he chose people over heaven and now he goes back to heaven? dumb

i hate to say it but i think if any of the bros was to die, i think it should have been sam through his sacrifice. i think that would have been a good character arc. in fact, if dean were to die like that too i’d say the same. the only reason dean was miserable after sam’s death in his apple pie life was because he had inserted himself into someone else’s life instead of building his own with his family that is right there (bobby and cas).

so im gonna go ahead and put all of this into my fic lol stay tuned

#out of the impala

1 note · View note

postmodernmulticoloredcloak · 5 years

Text

Rowena’s death and reversals

I have written a little thing about Rowena’s spells in 15x03, but now I want to focus on the last scene of her sacrifice, when she walks towards the hellhole while absorbing the spirits in her.

It’s a very interesting visual, that makes the scene rich in parallels. She lets herself fall into the rift, with something evil inside her body, in a visually similar way to Sam jumping into the cage in hell in Swan Song, when he also did it to trap something evil in hell along with him. Her sacrifice and even her goodbye are pretty much identical to Crowley’s, who also sacrificed himself to trap something evil somewhere, in his case the alternate reality. Those are the most obvious parallels, but I don’t think it ends here.

She has a stab wound in her belly, with a blood stain on her dress, exactly like Mary and Jess when they were killed by Azazel and Azazel’s minion and pinned on the ceiling. Mary’s dress was also pink (the actual scene in the pilot is too dark to see it, but it’s pink in Dark Side Of The Moon and bts pictures of Samantha Smith while filming the pilot show it’s pink), although with white in it; pink is, after all, the color of death in the visual language of the show, like purple is the color of transformation (and the spells Rowena performs earlier in the episode feature purple).

Speaking of death and transformation, death is often a means of transformation in the show; but sometimes it’s just death. It’s possible in fact that Rowena isn’t done for but also due for a transformation, although don’t take this as gospel or a promise because it’s pure speculation! She did die in pink rather than in purple, and her death mirrored Crowley’s quite accurately... but definitely the chance for a death as transformation exists. It’s interesting that the scene frames Rowena as a strong mirror for Mary and also Jess, and hey Jess didn’t return but Mary did, so I’m not putting my money on anything...

Anyway. The scene frames Rowena’s death as a mirror for Mary’s and Jess’, but the similarities come with contrasts: while Sam is essentially the reason for all those events, but Rowena is the one who chooses it, and also the one who lets herself fall down instead of get pushed up.

But the part that interests me the most is the spirit flowing into her belly. I see the scene as a sort of reverse-birth, reverse-motherhood. The spirits enter her body instead of something being put out into the world, she is performing a spell of death that uses her last breath rather than performing an act of carrying someone to their first breath (but both the spell and giving birth involve spilling the person’s blood).

Rowena here acts as a reverse-mother, and it’s interesting that her spell is an alternate solution to using Lilith’s crook, considering that Lilith was an anti-mother figure of sorts with her habit of eating babies (also, the Lilith of Biblical lore hates children because she was set aside for the “good wife and mother” Eve--obviously not the role of Supernatural’s Lilith but there’s a layer of that in the character). But then again, here Rowena performs a spell to save others, to basically give life, which re-associates her with motherhood, in a way. (Also the scene strongly parallels her son’s death, effectively reminding us of her being someone’s mother, but her son is dead.)

There’s all a play of parallels and reversals with birth/motherhood and Mary, and I am not sure what to do with these considerations; but maybe, as the season progresses, this could become relevant. For now I leave you the concept :)

#my spn thoughts #spn meta #rowena #spn 15x03 #spn

126 notes · View notes

snkpolls · 5 years

Text

SnK Chapter 119 Poll Results

The chapter 119 poll closed with 2,021 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

RATE THE CHAPTER 1,942 Responses

This chapter was a roller coaster of action and emotional turmoil, clearly affecting the majority of the fandom, with 92.7% of respondents giving it either a 4 or a 5 rating.

Well, Isayama. Mission accomplished. This chapter did phenomenally hurt me.

Colt became one of my new favorite characters. This is the only series where I can say I'm happy one of my favorites is dead, because that means they don't have to suffer anymore...

don't lose your head now, we are almost in the end

Entertaining chapter, but with some glaring inconsistencies

To me, it was one of the most nerve wracking, emotional, and plot twist chapters that I've ever read in this series.

Isayama one of the madman. That's it. That's the whole thoughts.

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING WAS YOUR FAVORITE MOMENT? 1,949 Responses

Our top three fave moments were Colt hugging Falco as he transformed (28.7%), Gabi shooting Eren (21.3%) and Porco sacrificing himself to save Falco and Reiner (17.1%).

Eren getting his head blown off is my favorite manga moment since the Armored/Colossal Titan reveal... hands down. Might be even better, depends on what happens next

The Zeke scream was my favorite moment. It was so epic, I just can't wait for the anime to use YouSeeBigGirl or 2volt in this scene. It's my favorite moment as a manga reader after Willy Tybur's speech

Colt died a selfless, loyal big brother, and that's all there is to say about that.

Eren getting his head blown off is the best thing to ever happen. We know it means jack shit for him, but we got soooo many great memes. It's a good time to be alive.

I never really had strong opinions on Colt before, but he is 100% best Oniisan, being with his frightened younger brother til the end

Porco went too soon 😢

This poll was also inconsistent this month, I couldn’t vote for Pyxis drinking as my favourite moment.

WHO WAS THIS CHAPTER’S MVP? 1,941 Responses

With so many characters to choose from, it’s surprising but exciting that Porco won this chapter MVP by a landslide. Perhaps even more surprising, however, is Gabi coming in at #2.

I'm so proud Porco.

#GabiGang rise up!

I’m glad that everyone’s eyes have been opened to the fact that Porco is - was - a great character

Colt was too good for this world.

Gabi shoot Eren’s head off was strangely cathartic

Porco the real mvp and you all know it

Even though I don't like Porco, and never have, I will admit he was kind of the MVP this round. Reiner kicked more ass than he did at every given opportunity, dude was kinda useless tbh, so it's cool that he finally served some kind of purpose.

Badass Gabi is best Gabi

The Grice brothers were the only Marleyans I liked from the get-go, so this chapter was yet another wrench in the heart (thanks again, Yams!) Colt was totally the MVP in this entire arc, as far as I'm concerned. His last words to Falco were absolutely heartbreaking. My poor boys. :( Falco's guilt will be devastating to see.

Never cared about Porco before. But this time...

*crying like an idiot*

WHICH MEMBER OF THE 104TH HAD THE BEST SHOWING THIS CHAPTER? 1,919 Responses

The members of the 104th are finally out of jail and back in action! 47.5% think Armin’s epic use of a thunder spear shot him into first place, while 33% think Mikasa, who went to fight the Cart along with him was the standout.

Armin was so cool this chapter <3

Connie & Jean was unexpected

Floch just die already...

So one of Armin's major characteristics throughout the manga up until this point has been him whining about how weak he is and how he never gets better at the gear and how he's such a burden, and now, suddenly, miraculously, he's keeping up with an Ackerman. Amazing plot armor there, Isayama, truly amazing. It certainly would be nice if the other side got even half the advantages that the Paradise crew does. Imagine what a fair and balanced battle would look like!

Mah boi Floch seems to be the only survivor of the attack on the carttitan... he definetly knows how to survive

I love the Armin and Mikasa duo action. I also hope Armin will transform soon

Armin now is so close to Magath. I want to see him try to negotiate with him, but I also want to see him go colossal already ahhhh.

floch suffers again

ARUMIKA GANG, RISE UP. JEANCON GANG, RISE UP.

I miss Sasha :(

WHICH WARRIOR HAD THE BEST SHOWING THIS MONTH? 1,941 Responses

The warriors got a lot of action as well as emotional play this month, and though polls in the past have shown Porco as unpopular, 59.4% of you chose him as the MVP among his comrades. 11.4% think Colt finally stood out from the crowd, 9.7% selected Gabi, and 8.6% chose the sufferboi Reiner.

Best bois: Porco and Colt Best girl: Gab Gab

M V PIECK!!

All of them? Seriously they all did great this chapter despite literally half of these kids dying or being in danger.

I was truly surprised by gabi shooting eren, but god that was awesome i loved it

I hadn’t even liked Porco or Colt before but damn did they earn my respect.

mad props to Gabi for being such a badass that she was able to dig Colt’s rifle out from under his burnt body in order to fire on Eren. Being able to think so clearly and take action even under the weight of her horror and grief was incredible.

Originally Falco was the only non-Paradis character I liked. Now we can all Colt to that list. Shame he had to die in order for me to feel this way.

Falco was the only one who didn't do a whole lot this chapter but a large majority of them got a moment to be recognized as the type of person they are.

WHICH BROTHERLY PAIRING SPOKE TO YOU THE MOST THIS CHAPTER? 1,945 Responses

Colt trying to do everything in his power to protect Falco is what touched the majority of the fandom’s hearts, earning them a solid 80% of the vote. At a very distant second, 10.2% of the fandom were most emotionally touched by Eren and Zeke’s desperation to make contact with each other, only to be ruthlessly denied in the end.

I think Colt and Falco scene was one of the best scenes in all manga, so emotional

WILL REINER EVER SUCCEED IN KILLING HIMSELF? 1,941 Responses

Sorry, Reiner, but most (90.8%) of us don’t think you’re going to have any success in ending your own life. ….But look on the bright side: 11.9% think that maybe you’ll get lucky and somebody else will kill you!

Let Reiner die in peace already, Isayama!

I love that my baby boy Reiner is still alive. 😭

No wonder Reiner wanted to be like Marcel, at least that kid didn't fail at suicide.

ON A SCALE OF "DEAR GOD!" TO "I'VE SEEN WORSE" HOW HORRIFYING WAS FALCO’S TITAN? 1,944 Responses

64% of the fandom veered towards “Dear god!” in response to Falco’s horrific titan form. Only 7.6% replied with confidence that they’d seen worse.

Falco’s titan looks like a hybrid of Cheese from Foster’s Home For Imaginary Friends and Dead Hand from Legend of Zelda: OOT. So horrifying that I can’t not look at it.

Falco gets a medal for having the creepiest mindless titan.

MAN F****** that jaw titan is a problem!

Two things I did not need to see this chapter were Falco's mindless titan form and a decapitated Eren. So much horror, so little beauty…

Why are Falco’s Titan’s teeth in hIS NOSE WTF

WHO WOULD YOU HAVE PREFERRED FALCO TO EAT OF THE TWO? 1,929 Responses

Porco oh so barely edged out Reiner as the person we’d most prefer Falco to have eaten. Looking at the comments, popularity had nothing to do with this. Rather many people seemed to think that dying for Falco was a more fitting gesture for Reiner’s arc.

Disappointing because the Jaws died. Reiner easily could’ve got out his nape and let Falco eat him, we didn’t need to lose Porco.

I feel bad for reiner, becouse he could get his redemtion and complete his perfect development and he lost this oportunity,

I WANT PORCO BACK

i'm pretty frustrated that falco didn't get the armored titan, half because i want reiner to finally have some peace and also because i really wanted to see an armored titan falco.

WHICH CHARACTER HAD THE MOST MOVING SWAN SONG? 1,933 Responses

38.8% of respondents were moved the most this chapter by Colt and Falco’s brotherly love for one another. 26.2% most enjoyed Porco’s sacrifice that couldn’t have happened without a little classic Porco sass. 18.5% are really feeling it for Nile and how he tried to save one child while knowing he’ll never see his own again. Pixis, at least you were still able to enjoy one last swig.

I liked Pixis accepting his fate while Zeke screamed

WHILE COLT'S DECISION TO STAY WITH FALCO WAS TRAGICALLY BEAUTIFUL, IT DIDN'T SERVE A LOT OF PURPOSE. IN YOUR OPINION, IT WAS... 1,942 Responses

In a chapter filled with so much death, does Colt’s stand out? Was it even necessary? 47.2% feel that his decision to stay by his brother’s side was understandable but unreasonable given the circumstances. 36.1% went with the simple explanation of “Tragic”, where only 8.8% thought his choice was 100% heroic.

I cried when Colt hugged Falco

Colt....I understand you're distraught about your precious lil bro being titanized, but there's a snackalicious founding titan running towards a fuzzy ass monkey, you could've helped in SOME way!

Anyways Colt’s death although it wasn’t necessary was very moving for me, which is the first time anyone from Marley except Falco has provoked any feelings in me to be honest.

Colt is getting unreasonable amount of crap for choosing to stay by Falco's side. I don't blame Colt at all, for seeing no immediate master plan to keep going. His instincts went right to big brother mode, to a self-sacrificing degree. And god help you if you can't appreciate that kind of beauty without feeling the need to say how much better you would have done yourself.

I was shocked to see Colt die so soon, but at the same time, I can understand why he made the sacrifice here, and it was an emotional highpoint for me in this chapter. It's going to be sad seeing Falco's reaction when he learns what has become of his brother, but I think he will understand just how much Colt cared about him

Colt's decision to stay with Falco as the later was turning into a Pure Titan was unreasonable considering the heat of the transformation nearby would kill him, but he must've thought this was the only option left because he thought no one else would save Falco (he especially would never expect Porco to sacrifice himself for Falco) and thus couldn't bear to see his beloved brother be cursed into a Pure Titan, so he just wanted to be with Falco in what he thought would be the latter's true final moments as a human.

PORCO'S DECISION TO SACRIFICE HIMSELF WAS COMPOSED OF MANY FACTORS, BUT WHICH ONE DO YOU THINK STOOD OUT THE MOST? 1,915 Responses

Hearing Colt and Zeke’s back and forth about the lengths they’re willing to go to in order to ensure their little brother’s safety is what 44.6% of the fandom believes most motivated Porco to sacrifice himself to Falco. 25.7% felt that he was pushed the most by his unwillingness to meaninglessly die and have his titan power go to waste. For the remainder of the fandom, just a few more believe that his intent was to protect Reiner rather than saving Falco.

Porco only wanted to feel validated. He died because he was in a situation where he knew he wouldn’t survive, and once he knew the truth and felt validated, he was ready to let go and die. This is why in his final line he says that in the end, he was better than Reiner. Knowing the truth was enough for him to finally stop trying to be the best, to stop trying to show his worth, and to finally accept the fact that he couldn’t keep fighting in this battle.

If we're being honest, I was surprised to see Porco die. I wasn't expecting any of that. At least he can finally be at peace with his brother tho.

Porco’s sacrifice was one of the most noble we’ve seen so far in the series and showed a lot of character development. He’ll be sorely missed!

PORCO'S FIRST AND LAST LINES IN THE STORY WERE AIMED AT REINER. DO YOU THINK THEIR RELATIONSHIP CHANGED OVER THE TIME WE'VE WITNESSED IT? 1,918 Responses

The results were nearly split, with 34.8% of respondents feeling that Reiner and Porco’s relationship was starting to improve after Liberio, with the potential to become even better, while 34.1% felt that Porco let go of every negative feeling he had for Reiner when he realized the truth of Marcel’s sacrifice. 16.6% feel there wasn’t enough screen time to form an opinion, and 14.5% believe there was no change in dynamic by the end.

DO YOU AGREE WITH THE THEORIES THAT EREN HAS ALREADY ACTIVATED THE COORDINATE POWER? 1,922 Responses

While close to half the fandom believe that Coordinate power is still dormant in Eren, more than a third believe that there was enough strangeness this month to indicate that Eren has either touched Zeke already or had some other means of accessing the Coordinate power.

The entire chapter felt... off. Pixis teleporting from outside to inside drinking, Eren’s brotherhood of traveling pants, the whole Magath and Pieck thing, it just... seems weird.

Eren couldn't be using the coordinate rn simple because he needs royal blood...

I can go either way on the inconstancies, all of them seem like reasonable mistakes for a rushed chapter. But that also makes them just subtle enough to actually be clues that paths shit is happening

I think that the battle shown is a false battle created by the founding titans power and the real battle will be shown to an earlier Eren through a memory

I highly, HIGHLY doubt Eren pulled off some War Hammer Titan shenanigans or activated the Founding Titan's power beforehand to make it out of Gabi's shot. The stuff doesn't add up for these two.

WHAT WAS THE MOST GLARING SEEMING INCONSISTENCY? 1,912 Responses

“All of the above” was the favorite response to the question of inconsistencies in this chapter. Of those who made a choice, “Eren’s clothes magically reappearing” was the top pick (27.2%) followed by Pieck’s quick transformation after creating a skeletonized titan form last chapter (13.9%). While we listed several of the inconsistencies we’d noticed, the write-ins contained even more

All the above plus Porco changing out of a garrison uniform to a SC uniform

Bert's crater, and the waterway. But I want to say Eren's clothes because that has been inconsistent for 2 or 3 chapters now iirc, memory manipulation incoming.

Commander Pixis was out and suddenly was inside with other people who drank the spinal fluid

Eren getting hit by the Titan rifle by Magath and then suddenly being okay just after that.

Eren magically getting his shoes back after they got bit off by the jaws

Gabi being in the exact right place at the exact right time. If Eren had to "die" that couldn't have been set up better?

It might be me, but Gabi with the titan rifle. More so "how" she got it, as we can infer it was Colt's. The problem being that Colt had it on his back even after Falco's transformation. Being underneath a burning body (RIP Colt) and being in operable condition, it just seems off to me.

Mikasa magically changed positions at one point way too fast to be possible

No one seems to have mentioned that Gabi's hair is down when she shot Eren

Pixis teleporting from riding a horse to chilling with a drink

Reiner's sudden in-Titan beard is what got me

The three false connections between Eren's clothes (we see once he has a white shirt in his titan, once he is naked and once he had in fact his usual "sweatshirt") I mean, come on, decide on what the boy's wearing Yams.

The Gabi riding a horse wasn't really a "inconsistency" because she spent a month in those Braus stables so of course she'll learn how to ride one in a month.

FALCO FINALLY BECAME A TITAN, SURPRISING NO ONE. OF THE FOLLOWING NAMED MINDLESS “PURE” TITANS, WHICH WILL BE THE ONE FUELING YOUR NIGHTMARES? 1,922 Responses

Perhaps it could be recency bias, but Falco takes the top spot with 31.2% of the fandom deeming him as the most “nightmare fuel” of the pure titans we listed above. 25.4% still abhor the “flaming turkey” or “meatloaf” titan that is Rod Reiss. 20.3% are forever haunted by the Gluttonous Titan.

Armin titan will forever fuel my nightmares, he ate best boi Bertl

Manga Rod Reiss's Titan didn't do much for me. Anime version was the stuff of fucking nightmares.

BEST NAME FOR FALCO'S TITAN FORM? 1,900 Responses

With an… interesting new titan design, it’s time to name it! Just edging out Big Bird, Pac-Man titan is the winner! Third place goes to Muppet Waka Waka, followed by Bob’s Burger Titan.

Absolute Chad

Austrailian Shitposter

Beavis Titan

Canadian Titan

Cheese from Fosters

Giraffe Man Titan

Incel Titan

Leafy Titan

My ex wife

Pelican Titan

Rubber Chicken Titan

YOU GUYS ARE MEAN

DID ZEKE CARE ABOUT COLT OR FALCO? 1,940 Responses

Zeke, who’s not known for his empathy as a defining trait, heard out Colt when he pleaded for Zeke to spare his little brother. 54.8% of you think Zeke cared a little bit, 30.8% thinks he cared a lot, and 14.4% thinks he didn’t care one bit.

When I say Zeke cared a little about Falco and Colt, I do mean *a little*. Like, the littlest little you can care about someone before you care not at all. If Zeke caring was a scale of 0 to 100, he cared about at about a 4.

I really thought Zeke wasnt going to scream

Zeke was self-righteous as usual, nothing new here.

Zeke just shattered his belief that anyone cared enough to possibly aid him in his personal goal to help his little brother.

I think HE thinks he cares, but he’s more attached to the idea of himself as a person who cares and is acting out of compassion for the greater good of eldians and the world, and the truth is he doesn’t have any actual attachment and fondness for them as individuals. The trauma of betraying his parents and eating Xaver rendered him basically incapable of forming true bonds of affection.

Colt developed a considerable bond with the person who was supposed to give him his Titan power in the near future, he had the impression Zeke was not the kind of person to put a child in dire situations, so he tried to remind him of that. He never thought Zeke would do the impossible and turn his brother into a Pure Titan despite telling him the situation. The shock on Colt's face when Zeke apologizes for what he is about to do really shows that.

Fuck Zeke

Maybe Zeke will have a change of heart, maybe he will sulk into a state of depression and failure. I really hope someone convinces Zeke that suffering will always permeate in this world and the only thing he can do is hope for a better ending than how this chapter ended.

zeke is the real life definition of a nutsack

IS THE JAW TITAN’S OWNER ALWAYS DESTINED TO SACRIFICE HIM-/HERSELF? 1,909 Responses

Crazily enough, this was nearly a three-way tie! 33.4% feel that the Jaw titan wasn’t a factor at all in Marcel, Ymir and Porco’s decision to sacrifice themselves for someone else, but rather that’s just the type of people they are. 32.6% feel that the Jaw titan is absolutely a factor, and that it is a trait or the will of this titan to sacrifice itself for others. 31.4% believe that the Jaw Titan’s will drives its holders to protect the Armored Titan only.

It better not be, because that means Falco's next. And we all know who he's constantly protecting with his life…

It‘s coincidence but it‘s ironic how everyone of them sacrificed themselves for Reiner.

I don't know but they need to stop.

It’s the shifter’s choice to sacrifice themselves. It’s not some destiny tf you smoking.

P A T H S

Zeke was given the wrong titan. That's all I have to say.

DO YOU THINK EREN HAD HOPED TO TOUCH ZEKE BEFORE HE COULD SCREAM AND TITANIZE THE MPS AND FALCO? 1,937 Responses

The majority (71.4%) of the fandom are confident that Eren’s expressions and actions are proof that he was hoping to avoid Zeke screaming and titanizing everyone who’s had a swig of the spine wine. 22.5% aren’t sure, or don’t want to say either way, while a smaller percentage feel that Eren probably didn’t care if Zeke screamed, or maybe even planned for it.

For the first time in a while, Eren's face shows that he is not in control of the situation

I think he looked horrified when Zeke screamed, and I want to think that he hoped to use the Founding Titan's power before then. :( I'm also holding out for a reversal of this titanisation IF Eren does survive and manages to touch Zeke.

HOW DO YOU VIEW GABI'S ACTIONS? 1,941 Responses

Gabi has made some questionable decisions in the past, and has been the source of a great deal of controversy. That does not seem to be the case this time around, with ~51% of respondents acknowledging that her actions this chapter seemed to make sense, and an additional ~9% being proudly in her corner waving #GABIGANG flags. Only 8.4% thought that her character development was undone by her latest act of violence… Whether her actions were justified or not, the remaining 31.8% just hope that Gabi is kept away from guns for the foreseeable future.

Gabi's actions are perfectly understandable. She knows sees the Paradis differently but that doesn't mean she sees or understand the person who destroyed her home and killed her friend.

Congratulations Gabi, you have a knack for finding new and inventive ways to utterly RUIN this series for me. You were a mistake that never should have been made.

Eren getting his head blown off is *chef kiss* (Also lol karma)

Eren is my favorite character and even I was like "Gabi did nothing wrong."

LAST MONTH WHEN WE ASKED WHO WAS MOST LIKELY TO DIE, THE WINNERS (LOSERS?) WERE FLOCH (741 VOTES), THE SENIOR MILITARY (650), REINER (598), CONNIE (594), PORCO (588), AND YELENA (583). LET’S TRY AGAIN. WHO’S NEXT TO GO IN THIS BATTLE? 1,918 Responses

Magath and Peick are this month winners for most likely to die next with 20% of the vote each. Floch and Zeke follow with 17.8% and 14% of the vote respectively.

I hope mikasa and armin spare pieck.

I hope that Mikasa and Armin totally destroys Pieck in the next chapter~!

#Zeke_LIVE! #Keep_your_little_brother_safe_you_promised!

I seriously think both Floch and Reiner are going to live to the end. These two especially seem to be really good at surviving, it's been a pattern now

I've recently noticed death flags on Louise since she was introduced, we didn't saw her in this chapter but there are chances that the poor girl will not survive until the end.

Also I'm so glad the fandom was wrong and Falco DIDN'T eat Reiner. However, this chapter is raising massive death flags for Gabi. I hope she won't die next chapter.

Eren is too determined to die. He'll just keep going like a head-less chicken. Like those Cuccos from The Legend of Zelda that refuse to die!

I feel guilty now that in last chapter's poll when it's asked who will die i picked Eren, and now it's a possibility that he's actually dead. But I still want to hug and protect him, my son, even if he's in pieces haha

WHICH EXPECTED UNEXPECTED TWIST ISAYAMA IS GOING TO USE TO KEEP EREN ALIVE? 1,926 Responses

OMG ERENS DEAD NOOOOOOO- well, probably not. Only 5.2% think this is the end of the line for our protagonist. The two most popular options were that he transferred his consciousness, and that Bucket Girl will intervene; with 24.6% and 24.1% respectively.

A mix between being saved by the bucket girl and him transferring his consciousness throughout his body.

Eren is dead, timeloop shenanigans begin.

He uses the last of his power to shift. That, or Zeke catches his head and he uses the founder to grow a new body.

Regeneration: Deadpool style

He will have a long chat with Ymir in the PATHS dimension and rewrite history

Head lands in Zeke’s hand before his brain dies and it’s good enough to count

His consciousness is safe and sound in his left butt cheek.

his consciousness is now in his left testicle

We need explanation about the P A T H S already! Isayama will take advantage of "Eren's death" to let him met the little girl (who everyone here suspects that is indeed Ymir Fritz) and reveal the Great Titan War, The Devil of the Earth, etc etc (and ofc the possibility of seeing him naked again lmao)

Isayama likes Game of Thrones. Therefore, like with Jon Snow, Eren will be kept dead for few chapters (preferably 3 till end of this volume). Then he rises - probably with bucket girl help.

HOW HAS YOUR OPINION ON THE FOLLOWING CHARACTERS CHANGED?

The winners for “more favorable” were Porco and Colt with each getting a huge surge in popularity. On the other side of the spectrum were Gabi and Zeke. While most selected “unchanged”, they still had the largest numbers of people indicating they viewed them less favorably after this chapter.

105: "Imma make Gabi the most hated character in the series" 119: "Hold my beer"

Every time when I'm thinking Zeke can't turn any more awful Isayama proves me wrong. That chapter is a really low blow. Just catapult him on lone island far far away from people he can hurt.

I never thought I could hate Zeke more than I already had. But after Colt absolutely humiliated himself to save Falco and Zeke just screamed...As long as Zeke’s alive horrible things will keep happening.

WHAT WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO SEE NEXT CHAPTER? 1,923 Responses

27.2% of respondents are determined to keep the focus in Shiganshina, and don’t care what happens next so long as we aren’t taken off the battlefield just yet. 25% are anxious to hear news on Levi and Hange’s whereabouts and condition. 20.4% are hopeful that Eren will recover and finally be able to touch Zeke. 10.2% are still hanging on for Annie…. Someday she’ll come out….. someday….

I want to see Yelena next. We get this chapter one panel to her and this panel was strange as fuck. Something is up with her and I have the feeling that her existence will playing a huge role in the plot. I don't know, but I hope to get a flashback to her.

ah, yes, this was such a horrifically tragic chapter *sheds tear* .....anyway, now that eren’s injured CAN WE SEE LEVI AND HANJI ??

Chapter 120: "Oh boy, I can't wait to see what happened to Ere-" *MEANWHILE, WITH HANGE AND LEVI...*

Pls dont switch to Levi and hange next chapter

Annie's never going to show up, huh?

I'm itching to see Historia, Levi, and Hange, as always, but what I really want to see in the next chapter is Mikasa's reaction to Eren's decapitation.

Let Eren and Zeke touch already >:v

AT THIS POINT, AROUND WHICH CHAPTER DO EXPECT THE MANGA WILL CONCLUDE? 1,856 Responses

With lots of news on the ending coming out recently, from the final manga exhibition, to Season 4 being announced as the final season, discussion on where the series will end has been very common lately. 44.1% think it will end with 130, next June. 30.3% think it will end a volume later at 134 in October, the same month the final season premiers. 14.1% think it’ll still be going while the final season is airing, going to 138 or beyond. 9.3% think it will end a tad sooner, at 126 in February.

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 1,841 Responses

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE CHAPTER?

I think there's a possibility that Eren might be dead dead, but his legacy will live through his last wish, supposing Zeke catches his head.

At this point of the story I'm happy Annie is still chilling in her crystal, away from the bloodbath

I never would have thought we would see Falco eating Porco and obtaining the Jaw titan or seeing Eren's head just fuckin fly through the air this chapter was insane.

As much as I dislike Floch, I def do want to see what his reaction will be to Eren’s “death,” even more than I want to see Jean’s and Connie’s tbh.

What I want to know is why do all the people with more use to the story survive when guys like Niccolo who's usefulness to the story ended when the heat from Sasha's death get to stick around?

I don't think Gabi is a bad character, but to me it almost feels like she is just getting in the way of the story progressing. I do however think her actions are understandable for her character, but from a reader's perspective it annoys me.

*Whispers* Ok, but is it possible Porco's alive? and maybe Colt can pull an Armin or survive via P A T H S Magic?

Flying head memes are the best

I was astonished at what a weight it lifted off my chest and how much more forgiving I could be after seeing Eren “I’m too good to tell anyone my plan, I work alone and I’ve always hated you” Jaeger fail so hard that Zeke screamed, Connie, Jean, Armin, and Mikasa all had to save Eren, and he was “killed” by a twelve-year-old.

I actually didn't hate Gabi at first despite killing Sasha. But now whatever development she had is gone and since she is now established as a murderer, I am now aboard the "I Hate Gabi" train.

God, I really hope the next chapter is good because it's at a really pivotal point that could make or break this last arc.

I am very willing to make allowances for the inconsistencies so the chapter itself was very good in my opinion. The story progressed well, awesome action sequences, expectations subverted, suffering continued; therefore, good chapter.

I don't think Eren will return physically, but his presence will remain somehow through PATHS. The title of this manga is Shingeki no Kyojin, not Eren, so the story can resolve itself with the Attack Titan being inherited and Eren's memories explored.

It's a little rushed, but I like the idea and hope Isayama can pull these loose strands together to create an impactful finale.

I don't understand all this Gabi hate. Eren has always been a threat to her eyes : in Liberio's Festival when he brought by his actions death to her home and friends, in the room where he was odious to Armin and Mikasa and threatening them with a wound on his hand, when Pieck -who explained to her the world isn't black and white- designed him as the enemy and here, and here right before her child eyes, because of his and Zeke's plan, Gabi is there when Falco transforms into a titan, killing Colt in the process. It's understandable she was angry and reacted like that.

I know eren isnt dead, but idk how isayama is gonna pull it off without it feeling cheap

I liked it and it was very surprising! Tho it’s time Historia is shown again and Levi and Hange need to come back very soon as well.

I feel like a worrying number of readers seem to have somehow missed the fact Eren is meant to be a major antagonist of this arc lol

I'm torn over that ending. It had the potential to be such a powerful moment, but it just didn't do it for me.

I've never been so upset at a characters death before, not even Armins... Like Jean said to Eren about Marco: "Not everyone gets to go out in a blaze of glory." What a horrible way to go

Isayama delivers every single month.

Isayama. . . Eren internal monologue. . . . . . . when?

I'm excited to see what comes next, but I'd like to jump back to characters like Levi, Hange, Annie, and Historia first so that everyone can come together for a big finale. You can feel that the manga is reaching its conclusion.

Commander Pixis turning into a titan sigh so long dog. All the commanders except Hanje kicked the bucket

Oh boy. This chapter had me bawling. Colt and Porco' s deaths hit me hard. "Your big brother will be with you, always"....damn that hurt.

Shits going down and I'm here hoping to see Armin transforms just to piss Reiner off

Such a mindblowing chapter, I enjoyed it thoroughly. I was utterly speechless when Eren's head flew off. Isayama the madlad

Interesting seeing Porco receive path memories From Eren via Porco. The coordinate is the key to getting vivid memories from past shifters which almost certainly means Eren has access to Kruger’s memories with a little help from Historia.

Wouldn't it be funny if they suddenly cut to Levi and Hange for the next few months

WOW, this chapter was absolutely nerve-wracking! This one may just be the biggest emotional roller coaster ride yet with all those major character deaths and that jaw-dropping cliffhanger!

The start of every month sees a spike in my blood pressure as well as how much I pray while opening my browser to check if the latest chapter is up. Thanks, Isayama. Not only have you made me more religious, you've also made me more stressed out about a manga than exams and applications.

#snk spoilers #snk poll #snk polls #poll results #snk 119

67 notes · View notes

whimsicalethnographies · 5 years

Text

My Thoughts on Endgame

Major spoilers and a TL;DR on how it all collapsed under its own wibbly wobbly timey wimey logic

So, to start, it was fine. Like, it was just fine. There were parts I liked, parts I hated, parts I refuse to except as canon (and may not have to), and parts that just didn’t make any damn sense.

And at the bottom of it all, is how the movie was “a gift to the fans” and, while unspoken, a swan song. The fan service was TOO heavy, and it really felt as though they thought of their fanservice moments, and then built the story around those, rather than building a story and finding fanservice moments to sneak in.

Ok, things I liked:

There were genuinely funny moments, most of which didn’t feel smushed in. Nobody likes the stairs Hulk, and I’m glad that Steve has accepted that sometimes his Cap lines are a little Too Much.

While I hated the death, I do like that Tony Stark is literally the messiah of the universe. He didn’t owe anybody anything anymore, but he still took the step and made the sacrifice to protect his wife and his reality and his children. Plural.

I did like Tony being done, wanting out, yelling at the group. He was at his end and couldn’t do it anymore, and while there are legit discussions to have about CW--I think they were both wrong in a way--but the fact is he was right about the greater threat and nobody believed him.

I can’t believe a dorky photo of Peter Parker looking like a fish and messing up bunny ears and Tony Stark not smiling saved the universe.

Tom Holland is gonna win an Oscar some day. I knew what happened going in--I HATE not knowing--so while I got teary during several points, I started blubbering when he said, “we won, Mr. Stark. Mr. Stark, we won. You did it, sir.”

RDJ should win an Oscar for this. There were moments that were OOC but he still put everything into it. Him, Nat, and Peter were really the only ones I *felt* in this movie.

Their reunion hug--Peter coming back and being Purely Peter, and Tony looking at him, like oh my god, he’s exactly the same and I can’t believe he’s rambling like this I missed him so much.”

“Activate Instant Kill!” Oh, my sweet baby boy Peter. You kept the gauntlet safer than longer than anyone.

Tony Stark has been my Pretend Superhero Dad since I first saw Iron Man in 2008 in a dollar theater while munching on a sneaked-in Whopper. He is Iron Dad, both to Morgan and his Spider-son and he took an extra step, one he didn’t have to do, to make sure they both made it ok.

Also, and I love Carol, but Thanos yeeted her the fuck off the field with the power stone. Tony Stark withstood the power stone using his nanotech shield on Titan. Most Powerful Avenger.

Scott is a joy.

Cap and Mjolnir was an okay scene I enjoyed, but it was a prime example of writing the story around fanservice. Yeah, it was fun, but it was better to imagine he couldn’t fully lift it in AoU because he knew about Bucky and the Starks, so he wasn’t fully worthy.

Now, the things I *didn’t* like:

How did Carol find the Benetar? And how did she get it back?! Like, I know because she’s the embodiment of the Space Stone she technically has omnipresence and/or is capable of light speed, but does that extend to other objects? Wouldn’t it have torn the Benetar apart?

The time jump was *off.* And I have a hard time believing Tony would have just moved on like that. I think he would have tried, but it was too easy, considering.

The strange mismatch between desolation--NYC, arguably the most important city in the world, is a ghost town, while other places are fine? More on infrastructure problems later.

Hulk dabbing. Come on. Was that a joke on Bruce being old and out of touch, or are people still dabbing in 2023?

Thor. Oh Thor. His PTSD was treated as a joke--save his convo with Frigga--and it sucked, especially since they did so well with Tony’s PTSD. That’s the writers, who we all know have had their noses up Cap’s butt since forever.

The fact that it’s implied Pepper knew Tony wasn’t really happy when he went to talk to her about solving time travel. That he wasn’t settled, that this still weighed on him, even when it was hopeless. Why’d she let him build that life then?

“You can rest now.” Yeah, ok. Suffer so much, finally get what you want in your grasp, then your reward is death. See above. It cheapens his sacrifice because it’s implied he was never fully immersed and happy with his life.

Nat got done dirty. I wasn’t ok with it. I know it was supposed to be the final, “erase the red in her ledger” moment but why? Like Tony, she already had.

The infrastructure issues. The universe was halfed, then doubled, five years apart. Even if we accept that all of Peter’s friends and Flash were snapped, still doesn’t fly. See below for a possible out.

Cap. Oh Cap. My guy is dead but at least he’s The Hero. But they ruined Cap’s character. I don’t for a second believe he’d just sit and hide with Peggy. And they discussed heavily what happens when you subtract something from a timeline, and the splits, but what happens when you ADD something? I know the implication is that he was always Peggy’s husband, but it still doesn’t work, for the timelines stuff AND his character. And who’d he steal the shield from? He took something! And I don’t for a single second believe he went to Vormir. Nope. This was Steggy fanfic. And I don’t honestly care, but the fact is that he’s been working on moving FORWARD. A man out of his time trying to find himself. He literally took a step backwards.

Ok, adding on to that, the timey wimey nonsense. The movie spent SO MUCH TIME explaining the logic of their own rules and then don’t follow them. Here are some diagrams from my childhood bestie who gets time shit more than I do.

Apparently here is what they were trying.

They seesaw back and forth, but in the end Timeline F is the same as Timeline A, or the one they started from.

BUT, here’s her diagram of what actually happened:

It’s a big fat mess, and if the End Timeline is F, then the timeline where Tony snaps is D, and it got very confusing very fast. She’s going to type it up for me, but apparently the last third of the movie can’t exist per their own logic, least of all the end, especially because we don’t know exactly what Tony wished for. Was it the destruction of Thanos? What happens when you add a past to a future then delete that past? Where’s that timeline? What happened with Steve’s stuff? LOKI? A1 never ended because they literally took it. It’s not there anymore. Steve stealing the Pym Particles?! He took something and didn’t put it back. Another branch off. Did Tony wish, “give me what I need to fix this?” IF he did that, she posits, he smushed the timelines together to make everything coherent, AND potentially fix the infrastructure issues, so while A Tony’s BODY may have died, which Tony was it? Did he have a moment in the soul stone, like Thanos? Is that a requirement? What did he do/say there? (Also, just pointing out, never trust a funeral without a body, and the power of the Soul Stone is literally that no death is permanent. That’s its canonical power!!)

There’s so much mess and I’ll have more when my friend sends along her stuff. But I have NO problem deleting most of this from my mind, and I already have ideas to fix it, but I’ll leave those stories in the hands of people better able to tell them (I’m looking at you, @iron--spider) because I’m a dialogue bitch myself.

I told @iron--spider last night I felt adrift, and typing this out I know why. I’m not mourning, I’m not excited. I’m devastated by Tony’s death but there’s so many logic holes my brain isn’t even struggling to see a way around it. I’m livid about Steve, because he went backwards. Thor’s trauma was played for laughs. I have no satisfaction because of ALL THE HOLES, and because they literally wrote a story around fanservice--a huge amount of it their own--instead of writing the story and then adding fanservice to it.

It was fine. I’ll probably buy it when it’s released, but I don’t need to see it again. And I’m curious about Far From Home because of the infrastructure but I don’t know if I’ll wait until it’s out on video just because I don’t have any urge to watch Peter Parker mourn another parent.

In the meantime, until the fix-its start rolling in, here’s a ready-made fix-it that Iron--spider wrote last year, to hold us through: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15183011/chapters/35211239

It was fine. And so full of holes it doesn’t even cement its own canon, despite what Disney officially decided to put on the big screen.

“I recognize the council has made a decision, but given that it’s a stupid-ass decision, I’ve elected to ignore it.”

#endgame spoilers #avengers endgame spoilers #get on this best writers #there's so many outs

22 notes · View notes

wistfulcynic · 6 years

Text

Another Brick In The Wall: Chapter 8

a/n: Effusive thanks to @hollyethecurious for the artwork! I love it so much! Thanks also to everyone for reading, commenting, kudos-ing, and reblogging! I'm so pleased by the way people have been engaging with this story. Love you all xxx

Summary: Emma Swan, sheriff’s daughter, mayor’s niece, quarterback’s girlfriend, is the undisputed princess of Storybrooke High. She is smart and confident and used to getting what she wants. What she wants is Killian Jones, the new boy in school. But Killian is not easily manipulated, and reluctant to allow the dark secrets in his past to touch the girl he is rapidly falling in love with.

Rating: T

Tags for: @darkcolinodonorgasm @jennjenn615 and @resident-of-storybrooke

Chapter 8:

Killian was out of school for a week, for a “mental health break” he called it with a chuckle, apparently a term he’d gotten from Dr Hopper. He saw the psychiatrist daily during this break and spent the rest of his time at the harbour with Liam, working on their boat, reading, playing his guitar, and talking with his brother about everything that had happened.

“We’ve hashed it all out in excruciating detail,” he told Emma as they sat together in the boat’s cabin, she working on her college essays while he practiced a new song. “It’s such a relief to be able to really talk to Liam again. There was a time when we had no secrets between us. He showed me all the information he had collected on Milah and her situation. Apparently her divorce is almost finalised and next month she’s starting a job teaching English in Japan.” He smiled. “She’ll like that, a chance to travel. What she always wanted.”

“Hmmmph,” said Emma, glaring at the screen of her laptop as she typed rapidly.

“Swan,” he admonished, giving her a mock scowl as he strummed a chord at her.

Emma slammed her hands down on the keyboard. “Killian, I just don’t know how you can be so forgiving after what she did to you.”

He set the guitar aside and his expression became serious. “I have to be, don’t you see?” he asked, looking at her intently. “I can’t hold on to my anger or it will eat me alive. I didn’t even realise how angry I was until Dr Hopper helped me see it, and how by not acknowledging it, allowing myself to feel it, and then letting it go, I was only hurting myself. Besides, I did genuinely care about Milah, and I’m glad she’s finally in a place where she can be happy.”

“Hmmmmph.” Emma concentrated on deleting the gibberish she’d produced by her attack on the keyboard.

“A place that doesn’t include me,” said Killian brightly, picking up the guitar again and plucking out a cheery tune. “That’s good, isn’t it Swan?”

“I suppose so,” she grumbled. “Though I’d still prefer if the place was dark and scary and full of nettles.” He laughed heartily at that and she couldn’t hold back an answering smile. “Hey, I’m nearly done with this, will you read it over and make sure it’s okay? Just check my grammar and punctuation and stuff.”

“Of course, love, though I’m sure it’s already brilliant.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Freed from the weight of his worry and guilt, Killian gradually began to smile more easily, and his witty, teasing nature (“cheeky git,” Liam called him, his voice irritated but with a relief so profound it bordered on joy in his eyes) came more readily to the fore. When he returned to school the following Monday, he moved through the halls with a swagger that Emma had never seen on him before. Unlike the arrogant, bullying one that Neal always had Killian’s evoked a simple self-assurance that she had to concede looked really good on him. Despite how much emotional baggage he still had to work through he clearly wasn’t burdened by shame anymore, and equally clearly did not intend to take any crap from anyone.

This made itself evident that morning when he shut his locker and turned towards his first class, only to find himself confronted by Felix and Rufio.

“Really, chaps?” he said, raising an eyebrow at them. “You couldn’t even wait until after school so you could chuck me into the bins, like proper high school bullies?”

This mockery went clean over the other boys’ heads, and they continued to block his path, trying to look intimidating while also trying not to be intimidated by Killian’s calm demeanor and his amused expression.

Felix, the sligtly cleverer of the two, suspected he was being laughed at but couldn’t put his finger on why. He didn’t like it.

Bristling, he sneered at Killian. “Bet you think you’ve won,” he snarled. “Now that Neal’s in jail and out of the way. Now you can move in on Emma like you did on that—” he broke off as Killian stepped into his space. There wasn’t much difference in height between them, but somehow Felix had the impression of Killian towering over him, his face calm but his eyes darkly furious, and for once in his life he felt a stab of genuine fear.

“I’m only going to say this once,” growled Killian in the new, lower register his voice had taken on more often of late, “So you’d better listen carefully. Your mate Neal is a criminal, and not even a good one. He’s in jail because he’s stupid, and that’s nothing to do with me. I have no doubt it’s where he’d always have ended up eventually. Bit of advice: If you’re going to steal confidential information, don’t take pictures of the evidence on your phone, and definitely don’t then show those pictures to the sheriff’s daughter. Neal got what he deserved. I now consider this matter closed, and if you or anyone else—” he raised his voice so that the rapidly assmbling crowd of onlookers could all hear, “—tries to take it any further, you will not care for the repercussions.”

Felix wasn’t sure what “repercussions” were, but the hint of repressed violence in Killian’s manner made him keen not to find out. He had always been content to follow Neal, less out of respect for the other boy than a simple unwillingness to make a thing out of Neal’s belligerent insistence that he should be the one in charge, but he’d always sensed that there wasn’t much substance underneath Neal’s bluster. Killian however didn’t bluster. He simply stated facts, and Felix could tell that he was not the sort of person to make a threat he couldn’t back up with action. Perhaps it was time to step out of Neal’s shadow, thought Felix, and take over leadership of their little gang. He certainly couldn’t do a worse job of it than Neal had, and escalating a pointless conflict with a guy who looked prepared to fight dirty if necessary was much more Neal’s style than Felix’s. He nodded at Killian, and stepped back. Rufio looked surprised but followed his lead.

Killian nodded back then transferred his glare to the crowd of onlookers, which had grown considerably in the past thirty seconds and now included Emma and Ruby, he could see out of the corner of his eye. “As for what you may have heard about me,” he said, loudly enough for all to hear. “It’s all true.” He smirked for a moment as a gasp went through the crowd, then his expression hardened. “It’s also no one’s business but mine, and those in whom I choose to confide. This is all I have to say on the subject. Now, if you’ll all excuse me I don’t wish to be late for class.” He slung his satchel over his shoulder and headed down the hall, turning his head briefly to shoot Emma a wink. People moved aside to let him pass and as soon as he had turned the corner furious whispering erupted in his wake.

Ruby pursed her lips. “I may have underestimated him,” she remarked.

Emma’s heart was pounding, a familiar occurrence where Killian was concerned, but this time it felt different. She’d been worried about how he would react to the ineveitable curiosity and questions from their classmates, but this smooth handling of a potentially explosive situation instead of calming her fears instead filled her with the wild desire to run after him, to fling herself into his arms and kiss them both breathless.

“He’s just so wonderful,” she sighed, and Ruby laughed.

“Down, girl,” she teased. “I’ll grant you this one’s worth your time, unlike the douchemaster general, but remember we’re in school. No one wants to see that.”

Emma rolled her eyes and gave her friend a shove, but the butterflies continued rhumba-ing around her insides, this time accompanied by an odd, hollow sort of ache as she remembered her resolution not to pursue Killian anymore. She was now all but certain that she loved him, that beyond the hot, tingly sensation she always felt in his presence lay a profound devotion. She would do anything for him, sacrifice anything to give him what he needed, and that terrified her. For the first time in her life Emma felt vulnerable, exposed, as though her chest were torn open and her heart lain bare to the mercies of fate and one gorgeous, troubled boy. She hated it. Even knowing that Killian would never intentionally hurt her was no consolation when the truth was that he could hurt her simply by caring deeply for her as a friend. If that was all she could ever have from him she would take it, she knew, without pushing for more, but it would be a wound on her heart that would never heal.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“He’s a bully,” shrugged Killian at lunchtime, when Emma, this time accompanied by a very inquisitive Ruby, found him in the library. “Bullies are just cowards at their core, and cowards are easy to intimidate. He won’t do anything because he won’t want to call my bluff. I might not be able to back it up but he’ll be too scared to risk finding out.”

“And what would you have done if he had called your bluff?” inquired Ruby.

Killian shrugged again. “Probably got the shit kicked out of me.”

“Would you have, though?” Ruby pressed, watching him through narrowed eyes.

He returned her stare with a look of wide-eyed innocence. “There were two of them to only one of me. Seems inevitable.”

“Does it?” Ruby’s disbelief was almost palpable, and having fenced with Killian for months now Emma shared her friend’s suspicion that he was deliberately underplaying his fighting skills.

“Let’s hope we never have to find out,” said Killian with a small smile, in a tone of voice that made it clear he would answer no more questions on the subject. “I quite like my face arranged the way it is.”

“It is a nice face,” said Ruby with a wolfish grin that widened as Killian’s ears turned pink. “But I didn’t come here just to flatter you. Victor asked me to ask you if he could have your phone number.”

“My number?” Killian blinked in surprise.

“Yeah, there’s some concert in Portland and he doesn’t have anyone to go with and he thought you might be interested.”

“Um, sure, I guess.” Killian rattled off the number and Ruby sent Victor a text. A minute later his phone buzzed and he looked at it, snorting as he read the message. “Bit of a wanker, your boyfriend,” he remarked to Ruby.

“I don’t know what that is but I’m somehow sure that Victor is one,” smirked Ruby. “Is that gonna be a problem?”

“Not at all, I’m rather fond of wankers,” said Killian absently as he typed his reply. “My brother is one, after all.” His phone buzzed again almost instantly and he raised an eyebrow at what he read on it.

“Ems, I think maybe we should leave the boys to their chat,” said Ruby, and as much as she hated to sacrifice free time with Killian, from the way he was fixated on his phone, his expression almost gleeful as he typed rapidly, Emma had to admit she was probably right.

“Okay,” she said. “See you in class in a few minutes, Killian. And maybe hang out after school?”

“Hmmm? Oh, I have an appointment with Dr Hopper at four, but I can text you when I’m done.”

“Okay.” She smiled at him but his attention was back on his phone, so she followed Ruby out of the library trying not to feel too disgruntled. Killian should have other friends, she told herelf firmly, male ones who shared his interests. That was normal, and he could use some normal in his life right now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Over the next few weeks, things at school settled back into a routine, albeit one that was markedly different than it had been. Neal had been officially arrested after David’s investigation, charged with burglary, theft, and theft of a medical record, and was facing up to five years in prison. His parents had put up their house as collateral to pay his bail, but weren’t allowing him to return to school.

“Not much point when he’ll just go straight back to the slammer after he’s sentenced,” said Ruby viciously. “So much for that football scholarship he was so cocky about.”

Emma tried to find some compassion for Neal and what was basically the wreck and ruin of his future, but couldn’t dredge up a single particle of it. He had committed several felonies for no other reason than to stick it to Killian for outsmarting him and for becoming her friend, and he’d committed them flagrantly and with no thought to the consequences. He’d probably thought there wouldn’t be any consequences. Killian was right: Neal deserved everything that was coming to him, if only for being so colossally, arrogantly stupid.

People still whispered about Killian as he walked through the halls but true to character he paid little attention. He did, however, gradually began to open up more and allow more of himself to show through his defences, willingly participating in classes and talking to people other than Emma and Ruby. By the time finals week arrived had actually made a few friends.

Killian reflected wryly that in a twisted sort of way Neal had done him a favour. With all his secrets now out on the open he was free to embrace the opportunity for a new life he’d found in Storybrooke. Not that there had been anything particularly wrong with the old life, at least since his father had finally left. He’d been a mean old drunk, Brennan Jones, and by the time he’d been forced to flee his creditors for good, stealing a boat from Bristol harbour and melting into the offshore underworld, his sons had been glad to see the back of him. Killian thought about what he himself had been like back then, before Milah, and even though it had only been about a year since he’d first become involved with her so much had changed both in his circumstances and in himself, he feared that hopeful, enthusiastic boy was lost forever. Who exactly had taken his place was the question Killian had asked himself daily for weeks now, and he still wasn’t sure how to answer it. He’d become so used to holding everything in, to keeping such a tight rein on his thoughts and feelings that letting them out, accepting that it was okay to express them had become almost unbelievably difficult. The only person he felt even remotely comfortable being fully himself with aside from Liam was Emma, whose support and friendship remained unwavering as he bumbled and struggled thorough the reclamation of his life, and he remained intensely grateful for it.

Only one thing about Emma troubled him-- that she no longer seemed to be interested in anything beyond his friendship. All the little hints and cues she had been giving him since they’d met were suddenly gone, and while he was relieved to be free of the added stress of constantly resisting something that part of him desperately wanted, he couldn’t help wondering if there was a darker motivation for this abrupt about-face. Perhaps, whispered an evil little voice in his head, Emma was actually more disgusted by his past than she let on and was simply too kind to tell him directly. Maybe the thought of him touching her turned her stomach now. He certainly couldn’t blame her if it did.

“What do you want from your relationship with Emma?” asked Dr Hopper one afternoon, after Killian had finally brought himself to mention the change in her behaviour. “Do you want it to be romantic?”

Killian frowned, struggling to sort through the complex tangle of his feelings about and for Emma. “I don’t want a romantic relationship with anyone,” he said finally. “I still feel too messed up for anything like that. But I— I’m still really attracted to her. I think about her all the time, about how we kissed at her party, and I want to kiss her again pretty much constantly, but then I remember Milah and how I thought I felt about her, and I just—”

“You don’t trust your judgement.”

“Yeah.”

“Killian, it’s important for you to remember that you have a much more equal relationship with Emma than you ever did with Milah.”

“Equal, with Emma?” Killian snorted. “You have met her, right?”

Dr Hopper smiled patiently. “I understand that you feel she’s beyond your reach, and that’s a separate issue, but what I mean by equal is that she’s your age and at your stage of life. With Milah you were constantly struggling to relate to her life and her experiences, and when you couldn’t you attempted to make up for that by offering her the affection and sexual attention she craved. You forced yourself to offer these things even though you didn’t genuinely feel them because you feared the consequences of not offering them. But with Emma there is no need to manufacture anything. She is placing no demands on you and therefore any attraction and affection you feel for her is genuine.”

“But what should I do about it?”

“Why should you have to do anything? You said you’re not ready for a romantic relationship, and that’s fine. Let yourself heal. The process is slow and frustrating, but believe me you are making progress. Let your feelings for Emma and your relationship with her develop at a pace that is comfortable for you. From what you’ve said it sounds like she will still be there when, if, you’re ready for more.”

“It’s more than likely she no longer wants more. And even if she did, what happens when she meets someone who isn’t so hopelessly fucked up? Then where does that leave me?”

“Why don’t you worry about that if —not when— it happens?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On the last day before winter break, Emma nervously approached Killian’s locker and handed him an invitation to her parents’ annual Christmas party addressed to him and Liam.

“It’s just a thing they do every year for their friends and our neighbours,” she began to ramble as he examined the card, certain he would refuse and wanting to delay that painful moment. “My mom loves to entertain, and my dad says it’s good for building a rapport between law enforcement and the community, and—”

“Swan,” interrupted Killian, giving her that soft, indulgent look that said he knew exactly what she was thinking. “I’m sure we’d love to attend. Thank you for inviting us.”

The butterflies soared in a grand jeté, and she felt like she was flying with them. “Great,” she said trying to keep her voice calm, “I guess I’ll see you then.”

Her delighted smile made his breath catch, and his answering grin set her heart galloping. Their eyes met and held, and as the end of semester chaos whirled around them they stood a breath apart, swathed in frustrated yearning and brittle tension, the only two people in the world.

Then the final bell rang, and they leapt apart, Emma smoothing her skirt with shaking hands while Killian ran his own trembling fingers through his hair.

“So, onion rings at Granny’s?” ventured Emma, wanting to kick herself for making him nervous again, after all her resolutions, hoping desperately he wouldn’t pull away.

Killian sighed in relief, tinged with a hint of disappointment. Granny’s was safe. “Sounds perfect, love,” he said.

#cs au ff #high school au #teenage captain swan #captain duckling #lieutenant duckling #another brick in the wall #profdanglaisstuff

27 notes · View notes