#also this is a joke so don't take it too seriously

[ryuvnosuke]

…perhaps “Will you marry me?” + souheki 👀

"Will you marry me?"

Ranpo giggles. He didn't need any more proof that Dazai is really drunk, but that confirmed it.

"Do you want me to marry you?" he asks, playing with Dazai's hair. He's practically lying on top of Ranpo, head on his chest and arms around his waist, and that's just another proof of his drunkenness.

(Maybe it also proves other things, but he's a little drunk too and doesn't want to think about it now.)

"Mhm," Dazai nods. "A small wedding. You and me."

"I guess that kind of defeats the point of this, doesn't it?" mutters Ranpo.

They've started the game a while ago, but Ranpo really doesn't want to think about how they don't show themselves publicly like that anymore and instead have moved everything to their private lives. He doesn't think Dazai takes it seriously because Dazai doesn't take anything seriously when it comes to relationships, and Ranpo won't be the one to make the mistake of falling where it's not convenient. He is not that kind of person.

(His hand is still in Dazai's hair, and Dazai settles his head like he wants to hear his heartbeat, but Ranpo will deal with this when he's sober.)

"I'll buy you a nice ring," Dazai says, ignoring Ranpo's words. "And I won't steal from Kunikida to do it."

Ranpo hums. "Oh, you're serious," he jokes.

"Yep~." Dazai pulls away from him a little, just enough to be able to give him a kiss on the chin. "Will you?"

Ranpo thinks about it for a second. "If you ask me again when you don't smell so much like sake, maybe I'll think about it."

That seems to placate Dazai, because he nods and settles back on his chest. He falls sound asleep a few minutes later, and Ranpo has to maneuver to escape from his in his arms. Leaving Dazai's apartment feels a little like running away.

[storiesbyjes2g]

3.112 Cutting ties

Love Day came upon us again, and it was so nice to have someone to celebrate with. Someone to celebrate, period. Sophia and I rarely did things traditionally, and I continued that trend by asking her out on a breakfast date. I suggested Vivianna's because it was the first place that came to mind, and I really liked their food. But Sophia was in goofball mode and said I wanted to see my girlfriend. I didn't like her saying that, but I loved seeing her in high spirits in those days, so I let it ride. When we got there, the host seated us at the same table from last time, and that sent her even more.

"It's a sign, Luca! If she's our server again, it's means you were meant to be."

I shook my head at her.

"You are way too high on life right now."

She gasped, still giggling at her silly joke.

"Luca! She's here! I think she's coming this way!"

I was still shaking my head when Yasmine walked up.

"Happy Love Day," she said drily. "Y'all don't have restaurants in Oasis Springs?"

"Of course we do," Sophia said before I had a chance to even think of a response. "But we love this one."

"Hmph. You must really love this food. I wouldn't unfriend someone and still show up at their job. Are you ready to order?"

Sophia looked at me in surprise but also trying to hide more giggles.

"Uhh...yeah, we're ready," I said, unsure if I should even respond to the first part.

When I finally looked at her, I saw her face matched her dry tone. Generally, she wasn't the cheeriest sim, but something was off. Granted, I was probably the last sim she wanted to see, but she should have been over that. Something else had to be going on, and I asked if she was okay.

"What do you care? I can't do this right now. I'll send someone else."

She hurried away into the kitchen, leaving us utterly confused.

"What in the world was that?" Sophia asked. "And you unfriended her?"

"Yeah! She's been sending me mean messages ever since-"

"You broke up?"

"Would you stop with that?? She wasn't my girlfriend!"

I couldn't understand why she found this situation so amusing. It annoyed me, but her laughter was so contagious. I couldn't help but laugh, too.

"Did she look different to you?" I asked.

"Sure did. I think she's pregnant."

"Pregnant? Yasmine? No way."

"She's definitely pregnant, babe."

"How do you know? She's not showing."

"Women know these things!"

"Hmph. Some sims don't need to be parents," I said under my breath. At least I thought I did.

"Luca!"

"What? It's true. She doesn't want kids right now. And she's mean...self-absorbed... Can you imagine her raising children?"

"I mean...I don't disagree, but... It's still not a nice thing to say. Maybe taking care of someone else will be good for her."

Nice or not, I meant every word. It was hard not to get upset about it. Sims all around us kept popping up pregnant unexpectedly while Sophia and I woohoo'd each other's brains out to no avail. WE want a baby! Why won't it happen for us? It wasn't fair. But I didn't want to ruin our date with my petty, jealous thoughts. That rant would have to remain in my head.

"Anyway... You excited about moving tomorrow?"

"You know it! I can hardly believe it."

"Yeah, seriously. I've been thinking about that house for so long... I have to keep reminding myself this is real life."

My Social Bunny chime went off, so I checked to see who sent me a message.

"Oh...it's Maira."

"Why do you say it like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like you're surprised your friend is messaging you."

"I'm not surprised. It's just...I don't know. Every time I hear from her, I feel bad."

"How come?"

"Because I'm such a bad friend to her."

Sophia's lip quivered.

"I highly doubt that."

"It's true though! I never call her. She's always the one reaching out. Even back in the day it was like that. When I was open to dating her-well, she says we did date, but whatever. I got mixed signals, so I kinda stopped putting energy into our friendship. Then I met Yasmine-"

"While you were talking to me," she said sarcastically.

Like a light switch flicking on, I understood why she continued to joke about me and Yasmine. She still felt some kind of way about realizing she wasn't the only one I was talking to, and this was her brand of petty behavior. I shook my head because I knew she would never let that go, and the jokes were a permanent part of our marriage.

"Yes, I was talking to you. I met Yasmine and Chi Chi-"

"I thought you didn't date her."

"I didn't. She came to my classes a lot and invited me to her house a few times."

She eyed me suspiciously, but I continued my story.

"Dating, having female friends, and all of that was new to me. I didn't know how to say no to her. I couldn't say no to her; you know how she is. And I was talking to you on top of dealing with my own issues... It was a crazy time, and I didn't know how to handle it all, so I ended up neglecting Maira. I feel bad because it wasn't like that in the beginning."

"You didn't have any distractions then."

"Yeah...that's true."

"Do you think it's time to let her go? Everyone's not meant to be in your life forever."

"I know. That might be part of the issue. I want to be a good friend while being respectful to you, but I honestly don't know how she fits into my life anymore. But severing the relationship? I don't think I want to do that. At least not yet."

"Okay." She turned back to her food and took a few bites before a very obvious idea let up her face. "Since we're moving now, we should do a combo celebration! We can turn my birthday party into a housewarming party! Invite her to that."

"Oooh good thinking! You know I married you for your brains."

"Ah ha! The truth comes out."

[tawaifeddiediaz]

HE’S A 10 BUT... + eddie diaz (pt 1)

(911 + he’s a 10 but...)

[Image ID: five large rectangular gifs of Eddie Diaz from multiple episodes of 9-1-1. Each gif is overlaid with text in the meme format, "He's a 10, but...". "He's a 10 but..." is in white text, with the meme below in bold orange-and-pink text. Underneath is a byline in parentheses, written in white capital letters.:

GIF 1: Eddie bending over the pizza box to grab two slices at once in 2.17. He turns to walk away before he's called back by Captain Chimney. The text reads, "He's a 10 but...he eats pizza like a caveman (two slices at once = war crime)."

GIF 2: Eddie telling Buck and Christopher that he only mentioned the coffee maker to Buck and Hildy in 4.03. He pauses, looking slightly contrite as he lowers his voice when he says Hildy. The text reads, "He's a 10 but...he's terrified of artificial intelligence (and still owns a whole Apple store)."

GIF 3: Eddie seated on the truck in 5.09 waiting for Ravi to bring back coffee. He shrugs and defends himself watching telenovelas by saying that's how he and Chris practice their Spanish. The shot cuts to Buck grinning widely, knowingly as he says, "uh-huh" as if he knows better. The text reads, "He's a 10 but...he watches telenovelas on the regular (to soak up that drama)."

GIF 4: Eddie spitting out Abby's name in disgust as he tells Bobby why Buck's risking so much to save Sam in 3.18. His expression is tight with annoyance and a hint of fear over Buck's lack of self-preservation. The gif transitions to Eddie watching Taylor knowingly, a little haughtily in 5.11, where she's picking at her food. The text reads, "He's a 10 but...he's petty about his bestie's girlfriends (always unsubtly)."

GIF 5: Eddie typing away at his keyboard to tweet out traffic updates in 5.11. The shot transitions to his screen, before it goes back to him again as he flexes his fingers and taps resoundingly on his keyboard. The text reads, "He's a 10 but...he has a million followers on Twitter (he's LAFD Metro Man).”

/end ID]

[adobe-outdesign]

you’ve heard of “Yellow Guy is Lesley’s son” and “the series is the afterlife described by the Lamp” now get ready for my totally serious theory, which is that Duck is:

Not a Duck

Not A Bird Either

Evidence:

No one in DHMIS can properly ID a bird (”a little baby pigeon”, “Warren the Eagle”, “oh. it’s a rat”, etc etc.)

We’ve never seen another sapient bird puppet in the series to compare him with; closest thing we see are the photos in the car in ep. 5 that he himself put up

Don’t know what his parents look like, and he doesn’t seem to know them if the family episode is anything to go by

Can’t fly and has fingers, complete with fingernails, instead of wings

Eats chicken despite that being a kind of bird

Has been shown having human teeth at least three times (during the rotting scene in DHMIS 2 as well as the spoon reflection and disembowelment in DHMIS 5)

Has rabies despite the fact that birds can’t get rabies

If concept art is to be believed he also can’t swim despite supposedly being a duck

Describes himself as a “crow-like thing”, meaning that he’s not necessarily a bird, just bird-like

Conclusion: Duck’s not a bird, and is instead a creature(TM) that happens to look like a bird and doesn’t know better because literally no one in DHMIS knows What A Bird Is. thanks for coming to my TED talk

[creator-savannah]

Ending the Clover's gender discourse once and for all.

Clover is genderfluid and goes by all pronouns but mainly uses They/Them.

[ftm-megamind]

me and my boyfriend are sooo javid (he invited me over for a family dinner)

[royalarchivist]

There’s not a lot of Karmaland enjoyers on Tumblr, but I need everyone to see this clip of Quackity, Rubius, and Luzu in therapy anyways because I’ve never heard Quackity laugh this hard

[mythicalheartbeat]

I imagine that if Renfield ever gets caught for his Crimes, it's not the trial of bodies or Amy evidence left behind. It's the fact that he resolutely refuses to use a fake name anywhere he goes and it just takes one person going "hey wait a minute" and that's that.

[accursedthing]

Tbh I kind of hate those "NOT the same person. ARE the same person" Kingdom Hearts memes, not cause there's no humor to them but because most of the explanations for these things aren't actually that difficult, it's just possession or clones or spiritual connections most of the time, which are pretty common in fantasy stories (some of them like the Nobodies are kind of a can of worms but also not hard to understand in context and ANY fantasy story with multiple installments is going to have stuff like that), and yet people who aren't familiar with the series use these images all the time to support the running idea that Kingdom Hearts is like. Impossible to follow and makes no sense. Which I, of course, don't like because at its core it's just people calling a thing I like stupid. And I WILL take it too seriously because I have the kind of autism that makes you deranged about Kingdom Hearts

[superloves4]

Okay, so, I was thinking about Elwë/Finwë/Miriël, and my brain decided to take me to terrible elf biology, so I'm now inflicting it on everyone else:

What if? elves could have more than one 'father' (father here meaning solely as not the one providing the womb) because elven birth is tied to fëar?? But because elves are typically (and in Valinor, strictly) monogamous, and, going back to Elwë/Finwë/Miriël, because Fëanor is so similar to Finwë (perhaps because Elwë and Miriël wanted so? huh?), nobody knows!

I can see two possibilities here:

One, the Valar know that there is something dangerous in elves having more than one partner, they just don't know. what. it. is. so they just decide to forbid non-monogamy as a whole, but without anyone knowing Miriël is already pregnant by the time they arrive in Valinor so when they find out they assume is just Finwë's, but holding three fëars was the danger and it ends up consuming Miriel and the rest is history

Or:

Alternatively, maybe it's not really a danger (and the ban non-monogamy has nothing to do with this), but because Elwë stays behind while the Noldor continue, and a baby's fëar is nursed by the parents, that means Miriel has to pour more of herself into caring for Fëanor and thus ends up dying

...honestly, I mostly just find the idea of Fëanor being a third Thingol hilarious

[hoffmanstits-enjoyer]

my brother in christ, you need to stop hating what people are posting about mark hoffman and start posting all the deep character analysis your heart desires or something because being pissy at the fandom won't achieve shit, i'm being sincere

[wereh0gz]

Random weird thing I've been seeing recently that's kinda bothered me a bit but I've seen a couple sonic gijinkas with light skin and with that I've seen a few posts being like "sonic isn't white!!"

But. I don't think anyone's explicitly said he was??

Like. Mixed ppl exist. Hispanic/Latino ppl with light skin exist (like me). Asian ppl exist also. Black ppl can have lighter skin too. Like literally any poc can be a wide range of skin tones. Just bc they're pale doesn't mean they're White

It's probably mostly just jokes and I'm overreacting a little bit but y'know it just looks like ppl are assuming he's Just White when the artists don't say otherwise even tho that might not actually be the artists' intent. Unless there's something I'm missing here and someone's making posts saying he Is white or some shit idk lmao

[freedom-barricades-bighero16]

So I remembered something a few of my friends in the fandom saying something related to how Momakase has multiple girlfriends (or in a poly relationship with Sirque and Cobra).

And then because the lecture today had fried my brain, why not combine this incorrect quote from Demon Slayer with this idea?

Momakase: Well, I do have three wives.

Wasabi: Wives... THREE OF THEM?! WHY WOULD YOU HAVE THREE WIVES?!

(Momakase throws a handful of knives at Wasabi, pinning him onto a nearby wall. Hiro is terrified while Gogo was pinching the bridge of her nose in frustration)

Momakase: You've got a problem with that?

[icewindandboringhorror]

Recent sky photos 

[ilistentogirlinred]

aussie tumblr should overthrow the australian government

we'd do a better job than the current government