#also this is ugly af wELP

[theoncomingchaos]

Scoy Novel: NueaToh pt. 2

What step were we on? Oh well! We last left Nuea having a surprising gay panic, and by Sky’s advice he is going to try and test his feelings.

Nuea’s plan to test his own feelings: Ask Toh to bathe together and see how he feels.

The result: Sees Toh’s naked back as he undresses, immediately gets hard, then runs to shower first to calm down. Welp that was easy.

And now these idiots are hunting each other.

Nuea is sitting here thinking “This good boy, so honest... I almost feel bad for tricking him. He’s so good will he even know when he has fallen into my trap?” and Toh is over here: “Poor innocent Nuea has no idea the wolf he has unleashed!“ The absolute insanity of this pair. They are both feral.

Bonus Mutual Hunting: Toh was purposefully using the excuse that he moves a lot in his sleep to cuddle Nuea, so the next day (after Nuea realizes his feelings) he uses the excuse to keep from getting kicked around to cuddle Toh. These idiots share one brain cell.

Bonus things Nuea loves about Toh:

-Nuea has a thing for putting his face in the crook of Toh’s neck and just breathing him in. This has happened multiple times and it is cute af every time.

-Toh is excited about everything and Nuea finds that so cute. 

How it’s going after they start dating?

After Toh accidentally outs their relationship to Lan and Nuea’s mom:

Toh: You can break up with me...

Nuea: I’ve never even thought of breaking up with you.

Toh: I’m not good.

Nuea: Who said that?

Toh: I’m saying this for you, why are you angry?

Nuea: If you’re doing it for me, then you must continue to be with me. Don’t go anywhere, don’t look for anyone else, and continue to love me. (Nuea has killed me all over again.)

We are only halfway through the book and Nuea has gotten like top tier level of possessive.

Nuea gets upset about the makeover → Toh: Is he hangry?!

Nuea: Wear the glasses and stay as cute as usual. If you are even more good looking everyone will want to take you away from me and you’ll forget about me.

Toh: (?!?!?! Don’t speak to me of heaven, this is it. I’m ready to be buried)

Nuea: Also, you should be jealous about me too. It makes me feel more secure that way...

Toh: What if it’s a girl, do you want me to jealously hit a girl?!

Nuea: IF. YOU. HAVE. TO.

Toh: (mentally losing it) So, should I go find someone to hit out of jealousy? Give me a minute. :D

Nuea: Give it time, there will be people to hit...

Toh: So...can I be handsome for ONE more day? I want to make a good impression on your family.

Nuea: You can wear the new clothes...but take it easy on me and wear the glasses alright? I like you, I don’t want a new one. I like Toh.

Toh: I’m so tired of handsome men. Maybe I’ll get myself an ugly boyfriend.

Nuea: TOH!! (T-T)

Toh: (My boyfriend really can’t separate reality from jokes can he? Ah well. I may have a dictator boyfriend, but it’s not that I don’t like it, I’m just afraid I’m gonna get spoiled like this.)

Toh absolutely owns him.

[wench-and-jezebel]

Ten Inch Hero Reaction:

Jezebel (@typicalopposite) reacts [with occasional asides by Wench (@scripted-downfall)]

Such a different vibe from Devour ☠️☠️☠️☠️  [alksdjf Tis true]

“Normal people need not apply” ☠️☠️☠️ we’d fit in there  [We would indeed]

Danneeellll

Oh noooo

Sir

I wanna work here [:)) I KNOW]

[I love that the customers get to vote]  The dog.  I love it  [Yes, and the dog]

Hmmm

Ahhhhh!  Omg! He’s here!

☠️☠️☠️☠️  “Well he’s employed here”  [That line bothers me so but anyway]

🤣🤣🤣 “And now you’re hiring people who fail the interview?”

Well.  Shit.  [She’s lying, dear]

🤣🤣🤣  Poor buddy

[Zo!  I love her]

Oh, man, chat rooms  [I know!  We'd never talk long distance on an electronic device]

☠️☠️☠️☠️ His look

Idek what this movie is about and I love it

It just is so chill and nothing is happening (so far) but it’s like 😍😍  [This is the vibe throughout]

☠️☠️☠️☠️ This lady 🤣🤣🤣🤣  [I told you I loved her]

Welp. Now I’ll think of that next time I eat eggs.

☠️☠️☠️ DoorDash.  Back in the day

She ain’t even look both ways; she’s definitely a witch

Ooooo

OHHHHH WELL SHIT.  WELP SHIT.

THIS WHOLE MOVIE JUST YEETED ITSELF A DIFFERENT DIRECTION

Damn, that’s sad af

Ma’am.  You stop that.  Flirt.

Awwwww.  Well that was wholesome as helll

[Buddy is not subtle okay]  ☠️☠️☠️

Bruh this is the one I wanted to watch the most and I’m gonna struggle commenting because I’m too into it 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

They have the same sketch book 🥺🥺🥺

Oooooooh is this going where I think it is [*whistles*]  Oh nooooo tho.  Cause it’s gonna be drama first.  That’s a big no no in adopting

I WANT THAT VANNNNNN

Priestly is adorable

Oh, douchebags

☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

Well that’s what you get you ass

Bruh.  Why am I not loving Danneel?  I wanna love Danneeel!

☠️☠️☠️☠️ Not the eye flutters!  I’m ded  [I love him]  I knowwww

Awwwwww muh heart.  I can’t take it!

Plz tell me Jen doesn’t get hurt

This kid is ADORABLE

AWWWWWW

[I love Priestly flipping the bottle, btw; watch for it]

Oooof  [Poor buddy :(]

Ngl she deserved the door in the face

Poorrrr buddyyyy

[Us if we ever met in person: "we tell each other everything-"]  ☠️☠️☠️☠️

HE IS THE COOOOLEST BOSS

POOOOR BUDDDDYYYY

[THIS SCENE]  OH I KNOW THIS SCENE  [I've made you watch it]

[Sharky boy 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣]

[The first scene that made me like Tish]  Yess!!

Oooooo that’s the face of someone who likes someone pjhhhh

Omg, buddy

Well shit it worked

That’s adorable omg

This is soooo awkward cause it’s gonna look so bad when he realizes

Also ooof; everyone putting feet in mouths

The phone cord ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️ Deceased

[Poor pup looks Unhappy]  Oh poor Bam Bam

Oh the buzz ☠️☠️☠️☠️

Oh my god

[Return of Jezebel the Deed critic]  BRUH.  I GOT NO WARNING.   [I forgot alskfdj]

DANEEEL  YOUR HUSBAND IS LIKE😭👏🏼👏🏼 not him

WELP 👀 *sigh*

[Sheeeeee]

Sweetie dump his assssss

He’s getting bent over by brad anyway [ALKSDJF;LKADSJF]

[It was a demogorgon]  ☠️🤣🤣🤣

[The little girl shouting "FRAT PARTY" tho]

I love this 😭😭😭

Whooooa awkwarddddddddd

Ohhhhhhh just tell me what happens.  I can’t take it!  [About?]  When he finds out  [Wait and see :)]

☠️☠️☠️☠️ [I love him; Priestly's my beloved]

Hell, I love all of them! Even Tish is coming around

Bruh this lady is a witch

[Priestly reacting like that as if he hasn't been doing about the same with Tish tho alksdjflkadsjf]  🤣🤣🤣🤣

I WANT THIS VANNNNNN

Why would you chase a goose

[Okay, I'm warning you now that Jen kindaaaaa annoys me here, but anyway.  (Give it a few minutes.)]   Oooof ok

TISH

JEN

WOTS HAPPENING

Oh, pity party.  Oh, I see

[MA'AM YOU JUST LEFT HIM SITTING BY HIMSELF WDYM]  This is definitely not ok

But like… why are they not saying she’s not ugly 👀👀  This isn’t okay either

[And btw.  I've been in a similar position to her.  So like.  I understand.  I just don't respect it.]

I WANT THIS JOBBBBB

["I was sitting by the phone, waiting, wondering..."  BUDDY.  "There's a perfectly good reason we didn't call" NO?!?!?  THAT’S ALL THE MORE REASON TO CALL HIM AND TELL HIM NOT TO BRING IT UP OR SOMETHING?!?!?]

Ooooh get her

Bruh he speaks truth

["Why are you suddenly Fuzzy's best friend?"  Because he didn't deserve that shit, wdym]

Oooof  [BUDDYYYY]

[The voice crack tho]  OOOOOFFFF

OOOOO WHATCHUUU DOING buddy  [Priestly be meddling]

Oh my goddddd 

OH MY GOD

BRUHHH

BRUHHH BRAD

DOUCHEEEEEBAGS

OH SHIT

WEAK ASS PUNK FELL LIKE A FEATHER

OH BOY

Oh boy

Well shit

Oooooofta

Beat.  His.  Ass.

Someone please do it

Oooo- Get him

Ok?  And? 🤣

[This be go well]

GETTTTTT HIMMM

OH SHIT  YESSSS TRUCKERRRRRR

“YOU DICKLESS YUPPIE”  THAT WAS AMAZING

💕💕💕💕 Preistlyyyyyy

[Tish, ma’am.  You came onto every dude in the shop… Defy gender norms and ask Priestly first instead of making him do it.]

I’m trying to think of who Zo is.  I’ve seen her in something else.  I love her!  She’s so calming

[He has the dark half of a yin-yang tattoo, and I want her to have the other half; I think it'd be so cute]

😭😭😭😭😭 Loveeeeee.  So much loveeeeee!

☠️☠️☠️☠️ What. Are.  [These dudes did not learn the lesson] 🤣🤣🤣🤣

“Keep the lubeeee” [The look tho]

Well she gets A Julia.  Not her Julia, but she also gets a Noah.  So like… Win win

Awwwww

Oh OHHHHH

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Fuzzzyyyyy

[Also, the music here is from the Deckerstar prom.  It's the song he plays for her]  Oh my gawdddddddd

😭😭😭😭

Aight cmon gimme the bad ending

Priestly was like nope I’m getting credit for this

Why can’t they just kiss and let it end here

[Look at himmmm!!!  Buddy's so nervous slkdfj;laksdjf]

In her head (Danneel, not Tish), she’s like yep I’m marrying him

[Who gave him permission to be this adorable tho.  The wide-eyed curious stare thing is just ack.]

Ahhhhh

Aight so headcanon he swaps right back

But omg he rubbed his lips

I’m ded

I’m not even mad, that was adorable

[Hmph.]

Wot Is Happening??? Sweet lord.  [They’re getting married]  Nekked  [Yup]

– – – 

Endpoint Reaction:

Jezebel: That was really good!  😭😭😭😭😭  10/10  (Hah)

Wench: Glad it lived up

Jezebel: Ok I do hate he completely changed for her.  That sucks.  They should have had the scene on the beach him back like before.  Also… Boaz & Platisha  *sigh*  What names.  This was the strangest, most all-over-the-place-yet-all-connected movie I’ve ever seen! But omg no one died!  And everyone got a happy ending, minus Priestley’s style!  (RIP it was not deserved.)

Wench: Yup, ‘tis true

Jezebel: For Jen… I’m glad she got a happy ending. I think I’m even happier he called her pretty. Because I would have been like 👀👀👀☠️ had he walked in and been like… you’re a good person ☠️ And like, no, looks should not matter, but it’s like.. friendship code to lift your friends up… not agree with them *sigh* 🤣  And they didn’t agree, but they didn’t DISAGREE either

Wench: Right

Jezebel: Idk that bugged tf out of me

Wench: Makes sense.  Do we know what we're doing next?

Jezebel: Hmm…

Wench: We still have our shows to be doing, technically-

Jezebel: So we could do one of each show-  SBC

Wench: Sounds good!  Til then!

[tophats-tea]

"I cant remember the last time someone did this"

CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR CAUSE IMMA ANON THE FUCK OUT OF YOU (<okay what the FUCK am I even saying??)

(Also pls don't block me, for i jest and this is in good fun (or at least, not meant to be taken seriously))

Welp.... Here goes....

Top Hats are ugly af

AUGJDMDJ

how dare you.

[fiona-widdershins]

make me choose: Shane Madej or Ryan Bergara (requested by anonymous)

[blonde-toddy]

Random and Not So Random thoughts while watching Bridgerton: Season 1, Episode 8

So the finale is here.

And baby do we need some resolutions.

This one is titled "After the Rain"

I hope that's a good thing.

Couples montage then lonely Violet. She was blissfully in love with her husband, that's for sure. 8 facking kids worth.

Yes Simon and Daphne are a love match....but they are ripping my heart out right now.

Why are they being so cold?!?!

Way to reference the ruse Daphne. Ugh.

I'm glad that King Granville is here.

Yes push those assholes together.

That shoulder touch. See, irresistible. They are all about each other.

The very picture of devotion, indeed.

Benny and Eloise!!!!

She's wearimg that ugly neck thing again.

No Benny, she thinks Delacroix is Whistledown.

What?!?! Francesca is coming back.

Oh Marina you still pregnant.

Now you shipping Penelope and Colin. That's not weird or anything seeing as you were ready to trap his ass.

Something is amiss!

For Violet to be so wise with her sons, she's awfully thick when it comes to Daphne. I just don't understand.

Daphne is done done done with Violets advice.

I ain't mad at her.

Aww Portia is trying to finesse her way back in. Violet can't stand her.....

Okay Daphne! Let's just hand out all kinds of forgiveness today.

Oh shit. Sir Crane!

Daphne and Portia are GONE!

Ooooh her beloved is dead dead dead.

Yeah girllllllll. All that time you thought he abandoned you. And he was at war.....shit.

What a pill.

I'm glad Daphne has some kind of friend.

Daphne and Marinas storylines are kind of bizarrely parallel.

Jesus Eloise, wtf!

Awww she's trying to save her friend.

I don't think Delacroix is Whistledown.

Oh this is so uncomfortable.....Benny on the low shit.

That shoulder shrug was cute.

"Lock. The door "

Where you going Daphne....what you doing?

Your Graces.

Awww Daphne is still trying.

Damn Simon if she deserves it, step up and give it to her.

Will and Alice ❤

Aw shit Will took Featheringtons bait.

This can't be good.

The deed to the crib?!

This man is out of his mf mind.

Stop it with Anthony and Sienna already!

Simon knows Will is up to something..........

Oh shit he's still there.

Marina you better marry him.

You a damn fool.

Good luck.....you're missing tf out I think.

Right, Portia, right.

Oh she definitely still pregnant.

What are you looking for Daphne?

Ooooh she found the letters he wrote to his father.

And she's reading the mfs.

Oh man.

Yeah girl. It's fucking awful.

Here we go again with hoe ass Anthony.

Under the bleachers. Okay you freaks.

And Will throws the fight.

Featherington is so full of shit and those bookies know he played them. That is going to go horribly. I guaranfuckingtee it.

Simon knows whats up....but he's in no position to judge ANYBODY right now.

Daphne getting serious insight.

I appreciate the relationship between Daphne and Lady Danbury.

She needs someone to be straight with her.

She's giving that mother-in-law type advice and I love it.

You really out here judging him Simon.

Will fucked up but he's still right! Worry about your wife and your life! What's this really about?!

Oh Portia...don't get too excited.

That shits coming back around.

Breakfast together. Is this progress?

Daphne has a peace about her.

She ain't giving up on her man.

To Bridgerton House they go to see Dear Francesca.

Simon is so charming. He is duplicitous af!

Suddenly everyone is just cool with everything. Okay.

Must be the edibles.

Yes girl, look at your hot husband. He is impressive.

Um. Eloise. I think you're wrong boo.

Everybody doesn't have the advantages you have homie! I'm glad Penelope checks her when she gets on that high horse.

Simon with the kiddos just laying it on thick for my girl Daph. Teasing the fuck out of her.

Even Anthony looks all proud and shit.

Delacroix still finds away to shade Portia and it's hilarious.

He lost her mf dowry.

Yes Marina. The bun is still in the oven.

Hastings house is lavish af!

Gawd that picture.

This is not the end. No. No. No.

I share in the doctors exasperation.

Idk what the fuck has happened to Anthony to turn him on his head like this.

Ok mf! You know what, take Sienna to the ball.

Finally giving her the love she deserves from you.

Oh look at these assholes looking at themselves.

"You wound me."

She's light roasting him again and it's lovely.

Come on my babies. Get it together. Y'all are precious.

Also if I ever marry, I want a regal ass portrait like that.

She wants to dance with her man. Same, girl. I want to, and I want you to, too.

Oh we have classic bantering Simon and Daphne.

Come. On. Already.

Fix it.

Fuck....the way they look at each other.

Welp. Party time.

Noooo not one LAST dance.

Ok Will flexed for his baby.

Simon still looking all judgy. Man you better get your own house in order.

Eloise is a living doll, but she's not here for the fellas just yet....or maybe ladies. Or maybe nothing at all. We'll see with her. Just not yet.

I appreciate the evolution of her and Daphnes relationship.

Aww Mr. Finch.

Portia flexing. "The Duchess extended an invitation, personally." She made sure they knew how connected she was.

They're still roasting her wack ass husband though. But fuck him.

Yep he's fucked.

Wtf does Benny do at these balls?

Awe Colin and Penelope.

Penelope bout to confess.

Well Colin killed that. Like dead in the water.

Ya boy is going to Greece.

Sorry Pen. The confession must wait.

Shes devastated. Hell nah she ain't dancing.

Oh Eloise...now is not the time.

Eloise got all that tea!!!!

Hold up this footman looks cheeky. More of him maybe.

Anthony bout to scoop his lady......SIKE.

Sienna pitting an end to this shit.

Anthony you've let her down one too many times.

And Sienna apparently has no desire to put on airs.

Are you sorry though?

And wtf do you do now?

Toss the flowers. Check.

Aww she saved Whistledown.

What a peach.

Come on assholes. Look at y'all looking at each other.

And he still plans on leaving.

Lady Danbury out here dropping wisdom. Listen, Simon, listen!

I honestly do think it's different for them. I think it's different for everyone.

Oh Daphne, Violet is dropping hot ones this time.

What a fucking pep talk.

And now they dance!!!!!

Its that slo-mo smoldering stare for me.

More rain?!

Daphne letting that shit wash her worries away. Go girl.

I mean y'all are cute but this is Daphne and Simons moment.

Cheers to the cane of Lady Danbury.

Danbury put everyone out. Her matchmaking and scheming never end.

At least Simon stayed in the rain with her.

Look at them.....

She told him bout the letters!!!!

Idk man. This love confession is on par with "I burn for you."

She wants to stay with you and love you every day. Man you have a rider. Y'all have dragged each other through the shits. Y'all need this rain.

But there's this lovely thing called a choice.

You really just gonna let her walk away this time and NOT follow her?!

Fucking hell.

Meanwhile at Featherington house.

Oh fuck.

Lord Featherington is dead. I knew that shit was going to blow up.

Fuck. Poor Portia.

Daphne just chilling.

Oh. Ok. Here comes the Duke.

Oh come on Simon. Yes you do. You know EXACTLY what to do.

Nothing else matters when y'all tangled up in them sheets.

They are just so tender!

Yes! Take it to the bed.

Daphne kissing on Simons neck and wanting to give him pleasure and affection >>>>>>>>

A million times over. Its fucking hot. Look at her honing her skillset.

Ride the mf girl!

Ok then! Flip that ass!!!

Out here long stroking the fuck out of her. Got dang.

Oh now you bout to hit that ecstacy.

Is a "congratulations" or "good job" in order?

These beautiful assholes!!!!

I just love them.

All this build up for Simon to ejaculate inside Daphne....but so worth it.

Awww poor Penelope.....

Eloise is convinced Whistledown is Delacroix.

I do love Portia.

Her and Marina grew to an understanding I think.

Marina girl, I think you're making a wise choice marrying your baby daddys brother. Just saying.

Who tf inheriting the Featherington Estate? And have we met them?

Hyacinth is forever in my heart.

Simon and Daphne got that glowwwwww.

Awwe Anthony is all broken up over Sienna.

Ahh yes Anthony, a loving union is the problem. I'm ready for your drama Hoe.

Aha! I knew Delacroix wasn't Whistledown.

Ooooh Eloise!

And you saved her ass.

Really?!?! Pen?!

I can see it a bit.

Aww Daphne is having a baby!!! She got her wish!!!

Simon looks equal parts terrified and amazed.

Aw yall keeping the alphabetical name tradition. How fucking cute.

But you know what, I'm here for it and I find myself satisfied.

And also thirsty!

That's why I went right back and started the series right over again. Yes I did. And I'm proud of that.

Now I will start the books and obsess about season 2.

What a beautiful much needled ride during these times. I feel alive again.

[marikaaajoy]

my relationship with digital art and how BNHA salvaged it

I just wanted to let out my thoughts but I can only do it here :>

This might be a downer for some people but I’d like to share it with people here. BNHA means the world to me and this is why.

I first started drawing when I was 7 years old in 2006

I think it’s ugly now, but 7 year old me remembered being so proud of this because this is a drawing of my stepfather. This is the only drawing I have that was from my childhood. I think the aim here is to draw in anime style BUT I didn’t even watch anime back then. I had a classmate who loves anime and she taught me to draw in school. Drawing became a favorite hobby immediately after that.

Then it was 2013 and I was 14 years old. Drawing is still my favorite thing to do besides being on the computer. I love anime at this point too. My parents bought an iPad for the whole family, but I was almost always the one using it. I discovered an app called ArtStudio and thought “Wow, I can draw without making a mess and with only my fingers” because I was always too lazy to take out my drawing materials and clean up afterwards.

These were my first digital drawings. The pirate one was the very first. I got obsessed real fast. I can color so easily, undo any mistake, layers are a blessing too. There was just so much more freedom. I always sucked at coloring in traditional art and I didn’t like the mess (idk my hands get so messy traditionally)

The next year, it was 2014, I was 15. My birthday is in a couple of months and I knew my parents were planning to buy me something pricey (I think it was a laptop) so I approached them and asked if they could just buy the Wacom Bamboo as a present which was cheaper anyway and I even explained how it works to them and how it would allow me to draw on the computer instead of the iPad. I tried really hard to be convincing. I would have prepared a powerpoint presentation if I had to.

They did give me the wacom as a present. They even gave it to me months before my birthday so I could use it already. I thought I was the luckiest teen in the world with my parents.

These are a collection of my favorite works from 2014 to 2016. The middle one was my second drawing using wacom and Paint Tool SAI. I was a part of a lot of fandoms in those years lol

It gets downhill from there :/

April 2016, my mom and I moved to Japan, while my stepfather and siblings stay in my country. It was tough. For someone who is obsessed with anime, you’d think I’d be thrilled to live in Japan.

I was. Though only at the first few months. It’s not the same as it’s portrayed in anime (I should’ve known but I used to be blinded by anime). It was just lonely. The language barrier sucked and then lots of financial and family issues until my parents split. I got my first boyfriend too and I thought I was blessed by the nicest boy, but the relationship became extremely toxic but I didn’t have it in me to walk away.

All the shit that happened affected me mentally and emotionally. My biggest outlet which was digital drawing, was also out of the question because I did not have a computer/laptop when we moved to Japan. We left it in our home for my stepfather and siblings, even the iPad. I have my wacom with me, but no computer/laptop to use it with. I couldn’t draw.

I tried though. I used my phone to draw, but it wasn’t the same. Then the life problems got piled up, things got worse, and I just lost motivation in anything. Literally anything. From 2016 to 2019, I stopped watching anime, I dropped out of all the fandoms I’m in, I stopped watching my favorite TV series or movies, and I stopped drawing. I even got a bit disconnected with my friends who lived in my country (we talk regularly online). My family was broken so I gave all my attention to my toxic relationship as well which made everything worse too lol

I didn’t draw besides from a few scribbles and the drawings above. I did try digital art on my phone a couple of times again and even posted them on my IG, but they weren’t any good. Eventually, I got mentally and emotionally drained and dropped out of senior high school. I just stayed home for almost a year, leeching off of my mom. I felt even more worthless and my life had no direction at this point. Nothing mattered anymore.

April 2019 or so I think, my (ex)bf bought me a laptop. He says it’s a gift, but I think the real reason was to make up for something horrible that he did (which is stupid because money /gifts won’t resolve anything). I have a laptop. I can draw again, but I didn’t. I didn’t care, I wasn’t interested in drawing anymore anyway.

Welp. June 2019, I went back to my country. My (ex) bf stayed in Japan. The distance helped me end the relationship and my friends were there (they always were) to help put me back together along with two trips to therapy. I went back to finish my senior high school in my own country this time. That said, I have to stay in my country for school (but I was happy because I didn’t wanna go back to Japan yet when the breakup was still fresh and with going back to school, my life has a direction again.)

It was weird. I remember just being sorta lost and confused because I used to put my time, effort and everything into my previous toxic relationship, which was now gone. I was free and I had so much free time that I didn’t know what to do with it. I got so used to doing nothing and being nothing.

This is where BNHA enters.

Dunno when it started, but I started seeing Bakugou frequently online. It’s usually just Bakugou. I knew who he was because my friend suggested BNHA to me back in late 2018 I think but I didn’t watch it since I’ve lost interest in everything at that point in my life.

But ye I thought he hot af but I still didn’t watch BNHA.

But then for some reason he REALLY kept appearing in my social medias and it was really frequent. The last straw was when I saw a pic of him in UA’s gym uniform and thought “damn boi aight imma watch bnha for u” (y’all gotta admit he looks good in those colors with his combat boots XD )

I watched BNHA. Fell in love with Iida along the way. Then I switched to Tokoyami (but Shoji was hot too so aaaaa), but then angry emotionally-constipated sea urchin head caught my heart again. But oof. BakuDeku moments really made me feel some type of way I haven’t felt since I moved to Japan. It felt new but nostalgic. I fell hard in that ship.

I started obsessing. From memes to posts to fanfictions to buying merch to filling my room with BNHA posters. I realized I was reverting to my old self from the time I was still happy and it was thanks to BNHA (and the good people who helped me through the worst too)

Shit I wanted to draw BNHA, I thought.

I mean, I have a laptop, I still have my wacom and drawing softwares. I could totally draw digitally again if I wanted to.

But guess what

I can’t :c

My hand physically cannot draw. My drawings don’t look the way I want them too. 3 years of not drawing really destroyed any skill I had. I was back to square one.

September (yeah they’re ugly, I laughed at it). If you’re wondering why I drew on paper, it’s because, for some reason, I really CANNOT draw digitally. I mean it. I can barely sketch digitally at this point. The lines and shapes just doesn’t come to life. They’re just scribbles. But somehow, I can kinda draw on paper with a ballpoint pen. But yeah, that was the best I could do at this point in my life

After that, I still tried to draw, to regain my old art style, but it didn’t happen... It just doesn’t look or feel the same. Drawing used to be fun. But during this phase, it felt like my ugly drawings were just mocking me (probably was just too emo that time lol)

Weirdly, around a week or two I think, after my half-assed attempts at drawing, I managed to draw digitally somehow o.o

I did a Midoriya and Todoroki drawing like this too. It was my first post here on Tumblr I think. The annoying part here is that I cannot draw digitally unless I draw on paper first, take a pic, and then trace the lineart. I couldn’t draw directly on the computer. Granted, drawing on paper and drawing on digital is very different for me in the first place anyway. But it was still a pain. And it still looked like shit. I can only draw stiff poses :/ it seems like my brain decided to delete all data about anatomy and posture and backgrounds. My lineart here is even messy af. It still really not the same as my old style.

By 2020, I think I got my old art style back. On March, I made this. This took me 27 total of hrs to make.

Right now, I think it’s not bad, but back in March, I was disappointed with the result. This is when I finally broke down crying because it didn’t look good enough and I hated that it took me 27 hrs to draw “bullshit.” I was angry at myself for losing interest in drawing for 3 years when I could’ve used that time to improve. I had to start all over again and it still didn’t look good. (Current me thinks that the drawing above is alright. I was just a lot harsher to myself back then. Used to have a lot of issues but I’m doing great now)

I cried myself to sleep that night. Woke up wanting to cry again. I wallowed in sadness for a couple of days. Eventually told my friends what’s up. Got some pep talk. Even talked to my sister (she’s great, she always hypes me up with my stuff and sometimes I think she’s my biggest fan with how she appreciates my drawings and I’m really grateful for that).

My world turned a 180 and I was weirdly positive after all that crying because brain chemicals and shit. I had a revelation. If I hate how my art style looked so much, then I should have been putting effort in changing my art style, not trying to regain my old art style (that I don’t like anymore)

I researched a lot. I analyzed different art styles and anatomy again. I did everything I could think of to find a style that works for me. I might have even neglected school for a bit to focus on digital art lmao

After all that work, I posted a fanart of middle school BakuDeku in their classroom. I love that fanart so much even if I probably have better ones by now because that was the first fanart I made that I felt like I could be proud of and it was the first one I made in my new art style. It was a milestone for me.

March 2020, I moved back to Japan and without the toxic relationship, I’m a lot positive now. Happy. I’m myself again after the previous bad years. I’m still continuously learning though, trying to improve, but at least, now, I found my own art style :) I really suck at interacting with people online, but I’m always grateful for the support everyone has been giving my fanarts. I’m happy when my content makes people happy.

This is why BNHA is important to me. The series is great alone, but it’s not just that to me. BNHA is so much more. It’s what made me find the passion to create again, only this time, it’s focused on drawing (I used to write, but now I just draw, but maybe I’ll write again for BNHA).

My family is supportive with my love for BNHA, but I think they don’t know the deeper reason why I love it. Sure, I was fine living on with nothing much going on in my life. I’ll finish school, get a job, work until I die or something. It was okay. It was the way of life. But BNHA gave my life color again. I wasn’t just blindly going through life anymore. I have something to look forward to everyday now. BNHA even became a bridge to other things. Ever since then, I’m a lot more open to people, to try new things, to explore and not just live through life and waste away. I got better at leaving my comfort zone. I’ve never been happier in my life :D

Thank you for supporting my fanarts. Thank you so much for giving me a chance to express myself through BNHA. I hope to make more content in the future and improve even more :)

[thenixkat]

Voltron notes 1 (edited?)

Ep 1

No spoiler opening theme

Those are some skinny ass space suits. Shouldn’t they have like tethers and shit to keep them from accidently floating off?

Harvesting ice cores on Pluto or Kerberos or whatever

They wanna meet aliens

No one notices the ship until its right on top of them. Shiro just assumes its a hostile ship

Bullshit and lazy. Fuckin aliens speaking and understanding English

Also Shiro looks so much better with the darker skin. Like, bring back this look.

This ship is very green and that’s unusual compared to later lighting schemes 

Lance is a dick to his friend

Also, you’d think an air and space program would weed out the folks with motion sickness

Lance is overestimating the abilities of himself, the crew, and the ship

Welp, Hunk fucked up the electronics with the barf. Pidge fell from not using her seatbelt. 

Mutanious comments.  

Lance got the team killed

Iverson called them jackasses

I know I shouldn’t be mentioning stuff that hasent happened yet but like? How the fuck does Iverson not recognise Pidge? She looks just like her brother but tiny and that didn’t raise any alarms? She didn’t even dye her hair or anything? Also is her mom ok with this? Is she skipping out on her classes that she should be having as Katie?

Vomit is not an approved lubricant. Heh 

One of those chicks has green hair

Military exploration school

Pidge doesn’t know how to keep her mouth shut

Lance is a fuckin bro

Why is Iverson chewin out Lance for something Pidge said?

Poor Lance

Lights out by five? And it's already getting dark?

Ok but Lance and Hunk in civilian clothes makes them stand out so much while they’re trying to sneak around. WHy not carry backpacks with their regular clothes in them while they wear the uniforms until they find a safe place to change. 

Lance is that friend who gets everyone into trouble

Have I mentioned that I hate fat jokes?

Also these kids are shit at sneaking. They didn’t even wait a minute to make sure the patrol dude couldn’t just turn his head and see them. They also made a shit ton of noise.

Pidge is bad at sneaking too, didn’t make sure she wasn’t followed and didn’t keep an eye out for anyone who might spot her on the roof.

Hunk is scared of heights

Pidge is bad at lying

Hunk is nosey af

Lance is trying to be a good team leader

Pidge is trying to uncover a government conspiracy and picked up alien radio chatter. 

If a teenager with little funds and homemade equipment can pick up alien radio chatter than the people who listen to the stars for a living sure as shit picked this shit up.

Lance doesn’t believe in aliens.

Hunk is scared of aliens

School is on lock down

Holy crow. Lance is a potty mouth

Hunk didn’t believe in aliens either

Pidge and Lance jump at the chance to go check out a crashed alien ship. Hunk doesn’t like this.

How the fuck did Pidge remotely hack a camera feed?

Ok but like it makes total sense for them to quarantine Shiro. He might have space pox.

Also Shiro’s skintone changes between 2 dif frames

Hunk neither knows nor cares who Shiro is. And is trying to be the voice of reason

I’m taking that as a fat joke. So fuck you show.

Where’d Keith get the hover car?

Where does Keith get all the explosives? Does he make them?

Lance spotted his eternal rival and doesn’t want to be beat in rescuing the hero. Hunk knows who Keith is

Pidge doesn’t know who Keith is

Why’d they choose that ugly ass tone for Shiro there? He looks kinda grey

Lance was not important enough for Keith to remember him

They’re making Keith take them along for the ride. Also that is not a vehicle designed to carry so many people.

Keith’s got snark.

Pidge yer not doing anything else the least you can do is be useful and keep Shiro from falling off the bike.

Hunk can identify every teacher chasing them

Keith is having fun driving while everyone else screams in terror

So Shiro’s just wearing Keith’s dad’s clothes

Convenient amnesia

Also Shiro’s got a generic ass masculine face

Keith can sense energy

So, those markings and paintings had to have been made by some Native Americans. Which group? What’s the timeframe? Those paintings are showing Blue do stuff so how long was her pilot still around and kicking for? Did she have other pilots before going into lockdown and just chose to stay on Earth? How’d she get to Earth in the first place if fish dude probably died in battle with Galra forces?

Lance hesitates b4 shaking the mystery alien cyborg hand

Hunk is nervous that there might be an alien invasion soon.

Hunk is nosey as hell and a bit of a dick

If I point out everything that is or probably is a fat joke I’ll be here forever

Hunk is smart as hell

Matching a wavelength of an element to a terrain carved by erosion? What? That’s not how anything works

Wait, if Keith has pics of the murals why didn’t they start looking there?

Yeah no those kids are hurt, possibly dead from that fall

The Voltron

The eyes have no pupils and the head isn’t moving, how can you tell the eyes are following you?

So did all of the lions pick these kids and college student from seeing them through Blue’s perspective? How does the lion choosing thing work?

Hunk states the obvious

How is Lance supposed to read the screen when the text is constantly changing. That’s not how computer.

Lance takes Blue on a joy ride and even Keith is not having fun

Also Blue is just fucking up the poor desert

Hunk is a little bitch who thinks giving people what they want will stop them

Holy crow. Hunk has a potty mouth.

So there’s just like a Galra ship right at Earth. The Galra know where Earth is and probably invade it. We just gonna forget about that? Like yes that ship is chasing the lion but nothing is stopping more galra going to Earth.

Shiro is the senior officer so Lance defers to him

So the lions can open wormholes on their own.

Hunk vomits inside Blue

Lance why?

How did none of them notice the castle. Like that is a massive ass castle

They just didn’t check to see if the air was human breathable

Pidge, why the fuck would the steps be bigger if the control seat of the lion was human sized?

Alien tech speaks english

Why do they reuse Cree’s voice for so much

Why do aliens from 10000 yrs ago fucking speak english

Also fucking elves

Also fucking Europeans

Rude. Allura’s first response to meeting an alien is insulting his species looks

Quiznak. Coran has a potty mouth

Also how the fuck do you know anything about this alien’s biology? Why the fuck would a sleeper hold fucking work?

SO why didn’t Alfor use the ‘strongest weapon in the universe’ to fight Zarkon? What, did Black not want any other paladin than Zarkon?

Alfor lies to children.

So how did they send away the other 4 lions? Alfor probably got caught and killed but like from that flashback ep the other three og paladins weren’t in their armor nor shown near the lions or anything. Did the lions hide themselves? Did they have other paladins that piloted them away?

King of the Galra? Bitch he was an emperor well before his fall you should know this.

Convenient amnesia.

How long is the average Galra lifespan?

Could Haggar not? Sense the Blue lion on Earth? How?

Also Haggar really went and got herself a whole ass monster husband

Zarkon calls in the squad. Sends Sendak to fuck shit up

Lance is not good with numbers

Sigh

How do yall even know the food in the castle is safe for humans?

Coran how the fuck u know yall the last Alteans left? Did ya fuckin look?

How the fuck did some nasty ass mice get into the fucking cryopod? How did they survive in a cryopod calibrated for an altean? Why are the mice necessary to the story?

How do the alteans recognize a galra battleship after 10000 yrs?

Lance starts a fight with Keith for no reason. Shiro breaks up the fight.

Did I mention that I hate body functions humor? 

Why and how did Alfor connect the lions to Allura’s life force?

Coran just straight up called Pidge a slightly less stupid than average primitive. Racist as fuck.

Lion’s choose their paladin so Allura just fucking assigns lions to aliens she’s known for less than an hour.

How does she know anything about these aliens? Its been less than 5 mins since she met them.

How the fuck does Allura know here all the lions are but the red one?

How do we know Voltron is the most powerful in the universe? They ain’t seen the entire universe

How do the Alteans know how long an earth hour is?

So an altean brought Green to this planet?

What the fuck kinda dumb ass rabbits come out of hiding when they know strange creatures are near?

To be fair, peaceful might mean something else in Altean. They are fucking space Brits

Hunk asks good questions when he’s not stating the obvious

Also that is a barren ass planet. But it was formerly inhabited.

Hunk rewires alien machinery while under heavy fire

Why does it take so long for yellow’s murals to start glowing? Was Yellow thinking about whether or not she wanted Hunk as her Paladin? Yellow really said if you want me you gotta put in effort.

The Galra were this close to getting Yellow too.

Pidge asks questions.

Who built that pyramid for Green and why did they let it get overgrown?

Pidge somehow didn’t break a leg from that jump

So I’m gonna assume that Blue told Yellow what was up

How well can Yellow move through rock?

Green really wanted Pidge. Like she was lighting shit up immediately.

So Blue actually got pretty damaged from regular ship fire and hiding the ground wrong

Hunk would apparently have let Lance die

Pidge and Shiro are some lyin ass bitches

Lord of the Known Universe. Most of the Galra empire is empty space

It took 600 yrs between a grandfather and grandson altean?

Lance and Hunk vote run

Pidge votes stay and fight

Um. Why would the Galra fuck up Arus when yall are the top priority? Like, sure they can come back for it but the lions are a bigger deal and thus they would chase yall over take Arus

Hunk is making very good points

Also Keith, while Sendak could destroy Arus and then come after yall. It’d be a waste of time and resources. 

Keith votes stay and fight

Shiro chooses not to vote

Alfor’s hologram admits he fucked up with sending the lions away

Allura votes stay and fight and I guess Coran isn’t voting like Shiro

Fuck you show. Why did we need eighteen thousand fuckin fat jokes?

Coran is an asshole

Ok but like that doesn’t look like a good chest plate? Like it looks like if they bent over they’d get poked/stabbed by it? And what’s up with the high sides of the belts?

What the fuck Pidge?! That coulda killed Lance or taken him out for a good while?

Wait, if the ship has a thing that can like just fucking make suits? Why can't they just make more bayards? Why wouldn’t Alfor design something to make more bayards?

Why doesn’t the galra ship have rear view cameras?

Wait! How the fuck do you cut a hole in a space ship and that not fuck with pressurization or set off any safety allarms?! The fuck kinda bullshit is that?

Sendak? Why do you expect aliens to know what that beam was for if you didn’t tell them?

~False surrender is a fucking war crime b/c it removed the option of surrendering for real if the need arrives so it leads to more fucking people dying~

No they didn’t Shiro. Battleships are things that get mass produced. If this is the exact same ship u got put in after the green one then that is bullshit on a cosmic scale.

Shiro is ok with letting prisoners die. Pidge is not, granted it's probably b/c she thinks her family might be on there.

Poor Mrs. Holt. She just got fuckin forgotten by everyone.

So Pidge has an outburst and fucking disobeys the mission leader. Shiro decides to help her just b/c he might know one or two of the people he was willing to let die. And they leave Keith with no fucking backup.

Keith would have legit died if the guards remembered that they have fucking guns and can shoot him when he dropped his shield. Which means Keith would have died if not for plot bullshit b/c his teammates don’t particularly care about his health and safety. Pidge and Shiro care more about the male Holts than Keith and all of the other prisoners that might be on the ship.

Wow.

How does Keith not hold this against them?

No the mice were not necessary, not if either of these dunces whent and opened the control panel from the other side.

That sounds like bullshit. 

Ya know I didn’t have any problems with Hunk the engineer being able to operate an alien elevator or drill by hotwiring shit. But I do call bullshit on Pidge reprogramming a sentry pod thing by changing the connection of one wire.

I still call bullshit on aliens speaking english and all atmospheres being 100% agreeable to humans. B/c that is bullshit

And why the fuck would the color of Rover’s lights fucking change?

… they only checked one fucking room for prisoners but that’s  it I guess? The fuck

Why did the Red lion let the Galra take her? Did she consider that one of the galra on the ship might make a good paladin for her?

Keith gets caught b/c his dumb ass starts shouting on a stealth mission

Keith, they already have the lion. Yer the one trying to take it

Like I said previously the guards forget they have guns and thus Keith lives.

So… how did Keith impress the Red lion? He fought people, lost and blew out the airlock. Which is still a loss if the lion didn’t feel like saving him.

Vore

Guards continue to forget they have fucking guns for plot reasons.

Hunk and the gang leave without destroying the enemy ship or making sure that its irreparably damaged

Coran, Lance, and Hunk have foul mouths

And this is why you fucking confirm yer kill

Why isn’t there a combine button?

Heh, Yellow’s face after slamming Red. Also Red looks so offended about being rammed. 

What the cheese

Hunk’s gone into panic mode and Keith has accepted death.

Shiro gives a speech and they form Voltron

Why are the bad guys giving them the time to form voltron?

Why doesn’t Voltron have a tail? Where does Black’s tail go? Voltron should have a tail.

Any other prisoners on that ship are dead as fuck

How did I watch this show  the first time? It's not good. It’s pretty but it is not good.

[blindingechoes]

Okay, so I got to play with the new EP yesterday and so far here’s what I think of it. And before anyone asks, the EP was very kindly given to me by a mutual yesterday, I didn’t win it or somehow find an extra 50 bucks to blow on the EP :) That being said, here’s what I think of Get Famous so far...

I like that fame is not a given and that you can opt out of it completely, which I know I will end up doing in 90 percent of my saves. But the fact that it’s a grind to make and to keep is nice, fame is fleeting and the fact that the EP makes note of that is nice.

The world is terrible, there, I said it. It’s ugly, it’s tiny and it feels less like a proper world and more like a vacation area like Granite Falls. I haven’t been this underwhelmed by a game world since Forgotten Hollow, but at least that was really more of an add-on neighbourhood opposed to a fully fleshed out world. Del Sol Valley sucks, it’s 99 percent unusable set dressing. Which might be a commentary on the fakeness of Hollywood but more likely EA was just lazy af.

♥ Shark pond, need I say more? ♥

The acting career is interesting in the fact that you only actually work every few days, the rest of the time you have to get the skills for roles. The active accept of it is also cute, if not a bit repetitive, much like the other active careers. But at least it takes up less time than the other ones, which I like. I can see myself using it more than the others for this reason alone, but still very rarely. Really, active careers do not interest me. When did Get To Work come out? Two years ago? I’ve only ever gotten to the top of one of the careers, the Doctor one. I’ve yet to finish the Scientist career or the Detective career, just because like I said, those types of careers don’t really fit my play style.

I like that the makeup and costume people can fuck up so badly the day of the shoot, unrealistic, but funny nonetheless.

Welp, that’s all for now I guess. I’ll see about playing with the pack more soon, but really I don’t want to get into the game too much until the aging glitch is fixed and lord knows when that’ll be.

[theoldestofthettails]

Brody, the dog (not actually, but it made me laugh, so…)

In a desperate attempt to distract myself from the ultimate fuckboy that is Roy, I continued my Tinder shenanigans (or Hinge in this case), and I matched with Brody. And Brody is an interesting fellow; he went to college not to far from me, lives not to far from me, and did some time in the peace corps but was pulled out because of a civil war in the country he was in (if you feel so inclined to do the research, you can definitely find where he was, but that’s on you).

             And so I was excited to meet Brody because he seemed like such a cool guy. He knows like 4 languages, served in the peace corps… Is just an overall cool guy, right? He told me some funny college stories (he was definitely wilder than I was in college), so I was fully prepped to have a fun night with a typical college douchebag and I was okay with that.

             But so I meet Brody out for dinner one Friday night. Important detail: I have a friend coming to spend the weekend with me from college though she isn’t supposed to be here until 9, and we’re having dinner at 7, so plenty of time. But anyways, I went all out. Curled my hair. Heels. Lipstick. The whole deal. And I should mention that I did all of this to go to fucking ShakeShack (you can laugh; I’m laughing at myself). But anyways, I’m totally feeling myself and am hype about this date because I look hella cute and this guy seems super fun.

             But of course, nothing ever goes according to plan. Because I definitely left my house with enough time to get there, but was still 10 minutes late because of traffic (jesus I hate where I live). And I hate being late, so I’m just sweaty when I get there. I also had no idea where we were going, so I got lost and it took us a solid 10 minutes to find one another. But whatever. It happened. We made it work.

             So I find him. Kind of. We’re on the phone and he’s like “I see you I think” and he’s right – he’s on the floor below me, looking up at me. So we meet at the escalator. And guys… I’m so sick of ugly guys. His pictures were cute AF, but in person, he just didn’t do it for me. And this guy is actually really nice too. So the niceness combined with his face and body… My pussy was dry. But whatever, my pussy doesn’t need to be wet for me to eat a burger.

             We get to the place and it’s packed (again, I hate where I live). So we get in line and order food and we order beer. But since we got beer we definitely have to eat there (or chug them, which I definitely suggested and was down to do – he was down if we couldn’t find a table by the time we got our food). But so we got out food and a table and we sat down to eat and chat. And boy did we chat. I think that’s my favorite part about first dates. Well, only if the other person is fairly outgoing. I’m pretty good at matching the personality of those I’m with, so if I’m with someone super outgoing, I can match and it’s totally good. But I definitely enjoyed talking to his ugly ass and hearing all about his experiences and sharing some of my own.

             We begin wrapping up our dinner and I know that the end is near so I need to make the decision to peace the fuck out or continue hanging out with this dude. And so I suggest we go to the bar upstairs in the mall and keep drinking. So we go and order giant beers and keep drinking and it’s great mostly. But there are two important moments that are worth noting, and my reaction to both are also super important.

             First: he is showing me pictures of himself form all of his traveling and his time in the peace corps and I’m pissed because the guy in the pictures is so cute and then I look to the guy holding my phone and I’m just not. Into. It. When you aren’t physically attracted to someone, you shouldn't continue to hang out with them (either that night or more generally, after), but here I am, just hanging out with this ugly guy that I'm not into. It’s fine.

             Second: he told me a story about when he went to visit his friends’ college while he was in college. And it was Halloween or something and, so, Halloween is always a fucking nightmare, right? Well he’s hammered and he’s party hopping which is fine, but his friends and him take a bus to go to another place and he finds this girl on the bus (also hammered). And so they start making out – totally fine, two consenting adults, whatever. But then they reach his stop and his friends get off, and leave him on the bus making out with this girl. Not really a big deal either. But then he goes to go home with this girl. And they get to her place, and her friends/roommates let her in and slam the door in his face (and she does the awkward “I’m so sorry but my friends are out of control – there’s nothing I can do”). And so I’m really weirded out by this story, because we all know those guys. Those weird fucking guys that we end up hooking up with and regret, so we text our friends telling them to get rid of him. We’ve all literally been there, right? We’ve all had to get rid of the weird guy, right? And it just made me super uncomfortable that I was having dinner with the weird guy that another girl desperately tried to get away from. I should have let this end here, but of course I didn’t.

             We finish our beers and we’re in the process of leaving the bar. I tell him that if he goes with me to get wine, I’ll drop him off at the metro station on my way home (there’s one right by my place – of course, this dude doesn’t have a car either). He agrees, and onto the grocery store we go. And I don’t know how the fuck we got on the topic, but I start telling him how I’ve been hooking up with these non-white people that just all seem to have tiny dicks, right? Like I’m going tf off about how every dude I go out with sucks because their dicks are tiny. And it’s fine, because Brody is white and I fully expect him to have a little peen, too, so I’m kind of indirectly insulting him though he doesn’t know it.

             But here is where it gets interesting, because he isn’t the least bit offended because he claims he’s significantly larger than the guys I’ve been with recently. The fuck? I’m like, there is absolutely no way in hell. And he responds, goig on this rant about how white guys get a bad rep because there are no white “show-ers,” they’re all “growers.” Weird flex, but okay, Brody.

             We go into the grocery store, get the wine, and are getting back into my car when my gas light comes on. So I’m like “can we get gas before I take you to the metro station?” and he agrees, so up the road to a gas station we go.

             And, look, I’m thoroughly not proud of this… But he was explaining how large he is, and I’m a bit desperate. I’m desperate to not feel anything for Roy. I’m desperate for sex that mirrors sex with my ex (he was large, and that’s all I had for 2 years, and I just wanted the sex I was accustomed to having). I’m just desperate. And so yes, Brody is ugly, but I suggest he goes home with me for quick sex before my friend gets there. It’s like 8:45 and for some reason, I legitimately thought she was coming at 9:30 (reality: 9:00PM), so I was thoroughly convinced we had plenty of time. And he, of course, agrees, so he runs into the gas station, buys MAGNUM (yippee) condoms, and onto my place we go.

             He says hi to the beasts, and then we head to my bedroom. He starts taking off some clothes, I start taking off some clothes, it’s fine. Except that he’s kind of sweaty, which is kind of gross? It’s like 40 degrees out, why is he sweating? But still, I persevered. And guys, look, I know my body isn’t great, but I’m got enough going in the right places, you can kind of ignore that my stomach isn’t flat. But this dude…. He just looked soft. Like no part of him was hard (minus, you guessed it, his dick). He just looked like a soft, squishy thing, and I just wasn’t into it… But still, I persevered.

             Anyways, he starts kissing me, and he kisses in the same way I imagine a snapping turtle would. I tend to, the first time I'm hooking up with a person, go slow and let them lead, but my dudes, this man was going nuts. It was all teeth and darting tongue – he like bit me, and not nearly in the good way. And he’s just going for it. And it’s all so fast. He’s pawing at my body. He’s panting. And I’m just not with it. But I’ve made it this far, and Jenna doesn’t give up!

             He realizes I’m just not feeling this, so he lays next to me, slows down a little, and just kisses me. Still not great, but without the speed, the ferocity of his kisses is significantly less, so I start to get there. And we do the thing. And it isn’t great. I’m not wet. He is large, it hurts; skin is pulling… And he’s just gross. Full disclosure, I can only orgasm on top, and so I’m on top, and I’m looking at his face, and I just… HELP.

             I close my eyes, I finish, I let him finish, and we’re scrambling for clothes (my friend should be here any minute – it’s like 9:23 [Note: she was supposed to be here at 9, but I thought 9:30]). We get dressed, and I walk into my living room to put on my shoes only to see my friend, Mia, is walking up my walkway to my place. GREAT!!!

             So Mia comes in, gets to meet Brody, and thinks this shit is fucking hilarious. Brody is visibly uncomfortable, climbing into himself, and I'm just like “welp, we’ll be back! Going to the metro!”

             And of course, after I drop him off and get back, Mia is all “dude, he’s UGLY!” Yes, thank you, I know…

             So that’s my story of Brody. He’s texted me since; he wants to hang out again. He suggested coming over to make me dinner, and we have a tentative day scheduled for that. That said, depending on how I feel that day, I may cancel. I don’t know why I’ve agreed to see this ugly guy again, but here I am. Maybe I’m just super lonely, and will grasp at anything to not have to spend a weekend alone. Maybe I’m horny. Maybe maybe maybe…

[herecomesthewitch]

I am trying to start a grimoire, and I have no shortage of ideas, but I’m holding back because I know that if I mess up any single aspect of how it looks that I’ll rip out the pages and my new journal will be ruined. Do you have any advice? Thanks a lot boo. ❤️❤️

Hi~

Ok, so I literally did this. Like, I would buy nice books and do a couple pages and then the second I messed up I was like “welp it’s ruined got to start again” and really there are only two ways to deal with this:

1. Make a rough draft of your book. If you know what you want to put in your book, then I recommend getting a journal that isn’t super fancy, but is more than a spiral notebook (just so that you still want to work with it - you don’t have to 100% love it, but def make sure you like it). And then do a draft of your pages, down to the last detail. Write the exact information, draw or illustrate how you want. Use your markers, paints, tea-stains, etc. If you mess up, simply make notes in the margins of what you want to change and how you want to change it.

(An example would be, you thought using a green color on your divination page would look boss af, but once you make it you realize blue would look so much better. You could write a little note in the margin that says “jk go with blue”)

This way, when you do buy that perfect journal, you know exactly what you are putting on it and you don’t have to worry about any mistakes because you’ll just be copying from one book into the next. Plus you can have a little bit of freedom to experiment with new styles and techniques to see if you like it. If you try something new and you don’t like it, make that note that is like, nah don’t do this again.

2. Learn to love your mistakes.This is super hard to do for a lot of people, and it was for me too! When I was making my huge grimoire, I got quite a ways through before I made my first mistake (as in I painted one of the pages and while the paint was still wet, it fell off my desk and closed, leaving my entire pretty cover page covered in white paint…) but at that point I had put sooo much work into that book, I was gonna be damned if I started over, so I just took a deep breath and told myself that now my book had a dramatic flair of character and a funny story to go with it.

There are lots of ways to work with your mistakes, instead of against them. You can always cover stuff up. Use paint or markers or scrapbook paper to cover up your mistakes. Or, turn your mistake into something different by adding more to it. Using art supplies and getting creative sometimes helps you get over that pesky perfectionism. After so many mistakes I just realized it was easier for me to go with them instead of scraping pages and journals trying to be perfect.

Also, I would like to say that if you have to tear a page out, it won’t ruin your book! If those jagged edges drive you nuts, buy an exacto-knife (I’ve gotten them at Rite-Aid for cheap) or use a pair of scissors and slowly cut the page out, that way there’s none of that ugly tearing, and you don’t have to worry about damaging the bindings. 

And if you plan on gluing anything in your book, like images or charts or plants or whatever, you want to tear out pages. Everyone has seen my grimoire. It’s super fat and thick and quite frankly, a pain in the ass to take anywhere because I didn’t cut out pages I kept thinking “Oh no I need every last page in this book!” And let me tell you, I’ve got like ten extra pages in the back that I have no use for. When you glue things in, it makes the book thicker than what the binding is made for. Adding a few things doesn’t really mess with anything, but when you’re like me and you’re adding something every couple of pages, it puts excess pressure on the binding and makes that “crocodile jaw” effect. So ripping out pages actually makes room for all the stuff you might want to add in.

Another alternative to ripping out the page is to cover it up and make like a mood board or inspiration page. I’ve noticed that it helps to break up the monotony of your book. So if you’ve got a page where you had to scribble something out, cover up with paint, or some old newspaper or what-have-you and then put something over top of it. Or you can print out a picture (or cut one from a magazine) and glue it on the page. This way, you don’t lose the page but it’s still witchy and looks like it belongs.

I hope this helps, and good luck!!

~L

[realmzenith]

answer All the questions for your newest oc

DEAD U HAD TO ASK FOR NEWEST DIDN’T YOU. welp in that case have ya boi eneko

What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?he’s a patient dude! eneko can likely sit still doing nothing for as long as his physiology will allow aka until he needs to go to the bathroom or smth. he does well w low activity as he’s an introspective person

How easy is it for your character to laugh?FAIrly easy?? on a level of one to ten w one being laughs at anything that moves or doesn’t move i’d say he’s a.. 6. ok so not that easily like he IS fairly taciturn but he will smile and laugh at a good joke esp if he’s comfy around the person making it

How do they put themselves to bed at night (reading, singing, thinking?)by crying- no jk he doesn’t… cry… emotions? what are those??? (thats a lie he’s an emotional mess) he will plan for the next day, strategizing and such but that’s honestly rlly bad for him. he stresses easily. on nights when he’s got a clearer head he’ll hum softly or read if he’s not feeling too guilty abt burning off candles. he does like night walks they always clear his mind

How easy is it to earn their trust?oh oof that’s a tricky one. not that easy but at the same time- OKAy yeah just not that easily from one being the easiest to ten being the hardest he’s likely a 8

How easy is it to earn their mistrust?VERY hard. once you’ve gained his trust he will be LOYAL af to u eneko is quiet n not the most expressive but he will absolutely go down in flames for someone he’s deemed trustworthy. a solid 9. 

Do they consider laws flexible, or immovable?laws are flexible defo. he PREFERS structure but if morality trumps laws he will break them. it also helps that he’s lowkey part of a rebellion so technically his existence in the present is breaking the law

What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling?god save us all. he’s a nostalgic dude so uh, oh damn i dont have backstory for him yet i made him last night rainy stop bullying me but ykw we’re doing this. flowers defo. queen anne’s lace n bluebells esp? bring back memories n also pumpkin stew. mixed memories w that one. queen anne’s lace mean sanctuary n bluebells mean gratitude which is LOWKEY ironic considering they spawn memories of burning along w memories of his older sisters so yes?? he does like remembering his sisters but no not in that context. the stew is a weird reminder of his first love n that’s. also complicated 

What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child?talk more and talk better. he’s got a bit of habit of being short abt things and the middle sister of the fam was ALWAYS getting on his case abt no u can’t word it like that but the eldest was and is a terrible influence n absolutely encouraged it bc she found it hilarious. it’s good they love each other i swear

Do they swear? Do they remember their first swear word?yes he’s part of a rebellion and a soldier what more do u eXPECt and no he doesn’t remember his first swear word. he also doesn’t curse that much dont get me wrong. he has to be comfy around u

What lie do they most frequently remember telling? Does it haunt them?gosh uh. eneko is still v underdeveloped so i .. WELL I CANNOt tell u in the present it’s prbly smth angsty involving his sisters or his lovER but the answer to does it haunt him? yes absolutely he must Suffer :)

How do they cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretend they understand, etc)?it depends on the situation’s levity. if it’s smth important he will absolutely bluntly ask for clarification if it’s smth casual he’ll just nod and pretend like he knows what ur talkin abt bc social anxiety is a b

How do they deal with an itch found in a place they can’t quite reach?Suffer in Silence

What color do they think they look best in? Do they actually look best in that color?he doesn’t rlly think abt this. he likes green tho but he wears a lot of black (that’s partially required by his associations and partially bc idk what other colors exist thanks @ god) he looks best in hmmm red

What animal do they fear most?himSELF 

How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first?he’s usually fairly forthright so he sounds like he’s saying whatever comes to mind but the reality is he says abt 1% of what he’s thinking and he won’t say things that are quite obviously rude. who knows tbh maybe he gains secret enjoyment from watching ppl squirm under his bluntness eyes emoji

What makes their stomach turn?torture n he hates the sight of bones. blood he can stand but bones? no thanks. unfort in the business they’re in he comes across both of those more than he’d like. he also hates working in the theoretical. it’s unnerving but he’s fine if someone he trusts is wading thru the abstract for him aka thank u @ kent for being the resident intuitive 

Are they easily embarrassed?nah not particularly 

What embarrasses them?if u slap his BUTT in public jkjk i mean that would embarrass him if u caught him by surprise but hmmm he doesn’t like attention if u draw attention to him he’ll freak a lil that would fluster him also excessive praise esp if it’s expressed publicly. he squirms beneath the spotlight

What is their favorite number?19. day of the month he last saw his sisters smiling

If they were asked to explain the difference between romantic and platonic or familial love, how would they do so?he’d prbly say smth deep which i cannot truly replicate but prbly smth like. “familial love is steady. it’s the mountain beneath which u were born. it’s the protection n the stability n the impossible sheer volume of it that can’t quite be comprehended. platonic love is like cords linking u to them. it’s the promise, the assurance of i will pull u up if u fall and if i can’t ill fall w u. it’s a tug o war and an anchor. romantic love is a stallion. it’s the passion and the chance but if u know how to tame it it serves to make u a better man than u could ever become on ur own. it’s the teamwork and the flames”

Why do they get up in the morning? to execute justice and to experience each new precious day he’s been gifted

How does jealousy manifest itself in them (they become possessive, they become aloof, etc)? it’s ugly when jealousy rears its head in him. he doesn’t SAY anything but his actions become more erratic and he has a harder time focusing. it’s likely he’ll become more impulsive. he’s not DANGEROUs per se but it’s not a situation u want him in

How does envy manifest itself in them (they take what they want, they become resentful, etc)? envy he’s better about. mostly bc unlike w jealousy he doesn’t already have the thing. it’s smth he’ll just push down and soldier thru like he does w most uncomfy things in his life

Is sex something that they’re comfortable speaking about? To whom? oh MY GOD DONT TALK ABT SEX that’s SCANDALOUS- the answer is no he finds it unprofessional in his line of work but he would be comfortable discussing it w his s/o

What are their thoughts on marriage? good. he approves. however, for himself he finds the prospect unlikely considering the high risk nature of what he’s involved himself w. he expects to die before 35 in all seriousness

What is their preferred mode of transportation? in the sweet embrace of death horseback

What causes them to feel dread? the knowledge that everything’s falling apart. that fate and circumstance are slowly but surely chipping away at the very foundation of what u live for and there’s absolutely nothing u can do to stop it. also freaking the appearance of the antagonist or his minions

Would they prefer a lie over an unpleasant truth? in theory? no. in practice? he’s actually p sensitive that’s a difficult one to answer. it would greatly depend on the circumstance but in the long run he prefers the truth

Do they usually live up to their own ideals? yes but in his own eyes, no. he holds himself to extremely high standards and is very self critical. also he has rlly unachievable ideals he’s a lil bit idealistic beneath the guise of realism

Who do they most regret meeting? ohohOHO jk i have no idea not there yet in the story but prbly the antagonist he’s a b

Who are they the most glad to have met? funnily enough? he could almost say the antagonist. he’s the reason why eneko’s working as hard as he is for what he is. without the introduction of the antagonist he would’ve been oblivious to the terrible injustice around him and likely ended up a victim by some obscure mindless death order. however the person he truly admires is the rebel member who took him under her wing however she’s still in the works so i can’t give u much on her

Do they have a go-to story in conversation? Or a joke? i don’t think so, no

Could they be considered lazy? NOPE not in any sense of the word. eneko works extremely hard. he’s v dedicated n dutiful

How hard is it for them to shake a sense of guilt? oh, very hard. he’s naturally altruistic so he tends to take failures to heart and internalize them and considering the dangerous line of work he’s in he oftens has guilt building up inside him. he’ll likely carry it w him for the rest of his life once he’s decided to be guilty abt smth. if someone doesn’t help him w it it can break him down in ugly ways

How do they treat the things their friends come to them excited about? Are they supportive? yes!! he’s a pure son. you’ll definitely get a smile out of him if smth good has happened to u. he’s very supportive of his friends. he would die for his friends and likely all of u i just want u all to know this 

Do they actively seek romance, or do they wait for it to fall into their lap?neither. he finds seeking romance irresponsible w his lifestyle. as i previously stated he expects to die young

Do they have a system for remembering names, long lists of numbers, things that need to go in a certain order (like anagrams, putting things to melodies, etc)? he has fairly good memory esp w faces! but otherwise? i would say he learns best by touch. he’s a tactile person and also fairly auditory. music defo helps him remember things

What memory do they revisit the most often? prbly the day he separated from his sisters. it’s not a particularly good memory but it’s seared in his mind

How easy is it for them to ignore flaws in other people? he doesn’t ignore ppl’s flaws per se? he’s p perceptive so it’s difficult for him to just turn a blind eye at least within his own mind but eneko is v tolerant of ppl and accepting. even if he dislikes u it’s doubtful you’ll know he’s fairly good at keeping up the same respect for most everyone he comes in contact w. but yeah? he knows what flaws are there but he will simply accept ppl bc he knows everyone, including himself, esp himself, has many flaws

How sensitive are they to their own flaws?oh oof yeah he’s?? a p sensitive guy so while he recognizes his own faults jabs to his weak spots will hurt him and he’ll prbly sit on the accusation or callout for days esp if someone accuses him of being selfish or immoral or not having done enough for the ppl he cares abt (smth along those lines) he’d absolutely hate that. but if u tell him he’s blunt he’s going to be like im well aware of that

How do they feel about children? he’s SUCH A DAD he loves kids and he’s rlly good w them they love him bc he’s SOFT ok but he doesn’t plan on having them himself even tho he’d like to for the exact same reasons he isn’t pursuing romance/marriage

How badly do they want to reach their end goal? enough that he’d die to reach it

If someone asked them to explain their sexuality, how would they do so?eneko is either demi or grasexual w pan preferences. he’s also panromantic. if someone asked for explanation he’d be like “i’m attracted to people of all genders” and just leave it at that unless ofc they were like RLLY curious or smth but he doesn’t rlly consider himself demi or pan or anything he just knows he isn’t straight LOL

QUESTIONS FOR CREATORS

A) Why are you excited about this character?…strong silent type. that’s all i have to sayB) What inspired you to create them?i’ve taken some inspiration from other characters from shows, etc. i’ve written so he’s a bit of a love child of the best of my musesC) Did you have trouble figuring out where they fit in their own story?im still figuring it out so that’s a probable yesD) Have they always had the same physical appearance, or have you had to edit how they look?he’s been edited a bit there were a few reincarnations of him like at first he had straight black hair in an undercut style but now it’s WAVY and dark brown and he also got darker. id say he’s like latino w a lil african blood this is esp amusing considering i literally created him last nightE) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?i think we’d get along alright if we could get past the initial awkwardness bc we’re both kind of crap at interpersonal relationships actually he isn’t that bad it’s mostly me and i THINK he might find me slightly abrasive n energetic (even tho im PLOT TWIST low energy compared to most extroverts) but he’s tolerant it wouldn’t be too badF) What do you feel when you think of your OC (pride, excitement, frustration, etc)?love…. i love my soft boi i usually hate my ocs aka i would slap them if given the chance but eneko? deserves happinessG) What trait of theirs bothers you the most?he is not real in general and non existent in actual writing as of the present. the latter tragedy i will soon solve. in all seriousness it’s prbly his bluntness it has the tendency to give me second hand embarrassmentH) What trait do you admire most?his tolerance and patience i have none loLI) Do you prefer to keep them in their canon universe?for now, yes! i dont have a solid grasp of him so until then he’ll stay where he was BIRTHEDJ) Did you have to manipulate or exclude canon factors to allow them to create their character?not rlly! the entire story he’s in is still in the works so everything’s rlly flexible

[whoopsaccidental-blog]

My versions of the Greek gods~~~~

Welp, I'm bored so I'm going to give a brief explanation of what my versions of the gods are! Keep in mind that these are my opinions and are in a modern setting. (they're mortals! none of them are really related except the big 6 and the twins)

Aphrodite-- sweet, bubbly, blonde but actually pretty damn smart, pan, matchmaker/shipper

Apollo-- biiiiiiiii, blonde and smart (who would've thought?), pretends to be a player but is totally not, the only braincell in his friend group

Ares-- total jock, still wears a varsity jacket for some reason, not as dumb as you think, pining for Aphrodite, constantly competing with Athena, a brunette

Artemis-- dyed her hair blue, always has her hair in a messy bun, is very much done with Apollo, probably a lesbian, ew men, feminist, a total badass

Athena-- also a badass, super fit and super smart, feminist 1000%, good friends with Aphrodite, takes none of Ares' bullshit, brunette, kind of short, she could still kill me by poking me though

Demeter-- save the planet, vegan, short brown hair, wears crocs unironically, her room is a garden, smells really nice, Persephone's protective best friend, brothers be damned am I right?

Dionysus-- the youngest, no braincells, constantly drunk, has slept with most people, pan af, twink, long brown hair, flower crown!, found Aphrodite's booty shorts one time and has been stealing them ever since

Hades-- I love the idea of him being really short, emo boi, definitely dating Persephone, black hair but (get this) it fades to white :o, oversized sweater

Hermes-- hot boy, carries a messenger bag because of course he does, beanie, idek how to describe this guy's hair, think 2010 Justin Bieber but better in every way imaginable, he has like 2 braincells, 100% bi, kind of a bad boy

Hephaestus-- ugly boy T^T, shaggy and unkempt hair, pining for Aphrodite, he likes arts and crafts and cats, gentle giant

Hera-- is it bad that I actually like her?, long dark brown hair, not with Zeus cause ew, honestly she's too good for men, very fashion

Hestia-- ginger!, she's suuuper nice to absolutely everyone, she basically adopted Dionysus, really warm, smells like pumpkin spice, the oldest

Persephone-- really tall (because I love role reversals), blonde hair always in a ponytail, sweet but also could kill you by blinking, super tough, dating Hades, I made their height difference really severe so Seph is 9 inches taller than Hades

Poseidon-- bro dude dude bro bro dude, blonde hair in a man bun, his hair fades into aqua, he's shirtless more often than not

Zeus-- the worst, brunette, if he wasn't Zeus his name would be Kyle, playeeeeeerrrrrr, he makes me go ew

[rokurookajima]

doing some questions bc i sent a risky text and i need to look @god until i get a response

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say?

last person i texted was my friend john who i absolutely hate so wow that would be a HUGE yikes

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?

lmao good question. actually i mean i know the answer, we’re friends with benefits and we’re very cool with it. it would be cooler if he would respond to my thirst text rn u feel me

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?

technically i guess my exboyfriend and my current fwb are into drugs?? like they both smoke weed and do psychedelics lmao. im p current boy has also done coke but didn’t like it. but wow yeah i guess the question was would i care. nah as long as they’re not doing anything dangerous like driving while on drugs, and they’re not doing anything serious like heroin, i’m chill

4. Is your last name longer than six letters?

nah its 5

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?

it was sober, but my first kiss with that person was drunk lmao

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?

uhhh yeah i mean both my ex boyfriends. they fucked up too, but at the time, i wanted it to work out and felt like it was mostly my fault 

7. What does your last received text say?

“if only i had that influence” lmao i told my friend its too late to hang out tonight and that the only thing that would summon me out of my house would be sex

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?

uhhhh wow good question. idk how many times we’ve kissed like actually but we’ve been alone together three times and made out all three of those times 

9. Where was your last kiss at?

it was in the boy’s house, at the front door before i left how cliche

10. When is the last time you saw your sister?

wow i don’t have a sister

11. What do you drink in the morning?

usually just water if i’m at home and not going to get breakfast, but me and olivia keep getting diet coke in the morning before sculpture its bad

12. Where did you sleep last night?

alas it’s been a minute since i slept anywhere other than my apartment

13. Do you think relationships are hard?

i mean yeah they are, but up until the last month of my last relationship, it never felt like…palpably hard?? like there were hard things, but i never felt like it was so hard i questioned if it was worth it

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?

ha welp yeah five months ago was the last couple weeks me and my ex bf were still together and between then and now there are so many fuckin things i would change

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?

not at all yo i’m TRYING to lock him in a room with me but idk where he is

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?

rainy B’)

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?

i know i do, but i can’t remember who it is right now

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?

i’m not wearing pants at all my guy how scandalous 

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?

wow i really hope so 

20. Does anyone like you?

lmao my friends like me B’) but i mean like like?? welp pretty boy likes me enough to have sex with me, but we’re not romantic. this kid josh from my photo classes told our friend that he likes me sorry josh :/

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?

yes i have my girl saoirse 

22. Is the last person you kissed gay?

no

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?

jesus CHRIST yes there is it’s this girl in my photo class that is the WORST

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?

not a single day in my life i would never have 11 tattoos on my body

25. In the past week have you cried?

surprisingly i haven’t. i’m probably gonna jinx myself but since i got involved with this boy i haven’t rlly been sad at all. which is much more a correlation than a direct causation but he plays a part it’s a long story

26. What breed was the last dog you saw?

wow this french bulldog ran up to a fence while me and my friends were walking by and it was so scary bc we just hear this goblin sound and see a vague shape running at us out of an alley. but then it turned out to be a french bulldog and it was the best thing ever

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?

i usually pull the towel into the shower and wrap up in it, but don’t actually dry myself off til i get out

28. Have you ever kissed a football player?

uh not an active football player but my ex boyf played football in junior high if that counts 

29. Do you think you’re old?

sometimes. like i’m only 20 but also like i’m 20 and i’m a junior in college and soon i’ll be a college graduate and that shit is FUCKED

30. Do you like text messaging?

yes i do i’m a fan

31. What type of day are you having?

it’s pretty average. not bad, pretty decent. little exasperating bc i’ve been pressed to see this mans and haven’t heard from him but that’s rlly my own dang fault i need to chill the thirst out

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?

yep and i did twice

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?

cold!! but not like freezing, i love chilly weather like 50-60 degrees (f) is SO prime

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?

yeah there’s a few!! luke, clayton, german, kevin, john even tho i hate him a lot. my ex boyfriend will always mean a lot to me bc of what we had. i got a soft spot for the current boy too i mean i gotta admit. and i guess my dad even tho he’s problematic af

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?

overall i’d prefer a relationship, but i’ve never had a fling until the last few weeks and idk if it’s even a fling it’s just not a committed relationship. i think both are good under certain circumstances 

36. Are you a simple or complicated person?

i think i’m somewhere in between like idk i think i’m pretty simple but i operate on a lot of fuck shit so who knows

37. What song are you listening to?

my 600 lb life 

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?

absolutely always 

39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?

lmao wow there are so many. olivia and evie definitely know the most about my life currently, and i have told them a lot about my life pre college. annabeth, gabrielle, gillian, and rachel also know a lot about me since we’ve been friends for a thousand years and now i still try to keep them updated on p much everything 

40. What made you start liking the person you like now?

uh even tho again its not a romantic thing i’ll still talk about pretty boy. weirdly like i met him last summer with my ex bf and i never knew what his name was, then i would see him literally all the time in super random places downtown. i don’t think i even knew his name til like november?? we also didn’t actually talk to each other til a party in december but i was super fucked up and don’t know what i said and i was moreso talking to his friend. now that i think back on it, i always thought he was attractive and when i’d think about possible like….hook ups he’d usually come to mind, but i didn’t think much about it. i was at a party a few weeks ago, and both of us ended up in the back of the kitchen and we were talking then we just kept talking and i was very drunk and we went upstairs and ended up making out in my friend’s bed. so uh. that was how. i guess why, it started mostly as a chemistry thing i guess but also he’s rlly rlly easy to talk to and always seems genuinely invested in what i have to say 

41. When did you last receive a text message?

like 2 minutes ago from evie 

42. What is wrong with you right now?

i haven’t heard back from the boy and honestly i wanna kiss :/

43. How well do you know the last female you texted?

the last are evie and olivia in our group chat and i’d say i know them both preeeetty well

44. Does anyone disgust you?

lmao that’s kinda extreme. i don’t think so but idk maybe

45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?

uh wow i don’t think so. idk i’m content with what i have rn, just kinda wish i saw him a little more often

46. Are you in a good mood right now?

yeah i guess, i’m chilling 

47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?

uh it was zach, who is my friend kevin’s friend and a barista at the coffee shop i went to earlier, so we chatted while he hooked me up with a cold brew

48. What color shirt are you wearing?

i’m also not wearing a shirt jesus why am i like this. i’m wearing a black bra and a green jacket

49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?

mmm i don’t think so? 

50. Anyone you’re giving up on?

no i don’t think so. i’ve moved on from seriously wanting my ex boyfriend to come back so i guess that kind of counts, but that’s not really giving up on him 

51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?

no definitely not. i wanted to for a minute, but it really felt so much worse to hate him

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?

i guess maybe at the end of my relationship, there were times where my friends said maybe i should end things bc it was causing me so much more stress than anything else, but i couldn’t ever give it much thought bc i wanted to make it work so bad 

53. Do you like rain?

i do i love rain so much!! i don’t like when i have to walk through it, but even still it’s worth it

54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?

nah man. again like the drugs question, my ex boyfriend and the current weird boy both drink. as long as they’re not like. ugly disaster drunk, or drunk driving, then i don’t mind at all

55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?

lmao i kinda had a crush on one of my best friends in high school but it was more of a like….coming of age/grips with my sexuality thing than an actual like, and i never told her, so that’s the closest thing to that. 

56. Do you like to cuddle?

boyyyyyyy i fucking love to cuddle i live for it where is the boy so i can cuddle

57. Are you shy?

sometimes, but idk not necessarily but i do get a lot of social anxiety about certain things 

58. Do you get along with girls?

yes dude i fucking love girls girls are life i’ve always had rlly good girl friends and general experiences with girls. way more than boys lmao

59. Have you dated the person you texted last?

i mean me and evie and olivia are actually married sooooo

60. What do you carry with you at all times?

my phone?? that’s a boring answer but its tru

61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?

uh my friend annabeth’s house is pretty haunted and i’ve slept there a bunch of times so pls someone pay me for that

62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?

definitely!! i mean if i legitimately like and care about that person, but if i didn’t i wouldn’t be in a relationship with them at all. 

63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?

lmao yes i was. we were not doing great bc the distance but it wasn’t actually bad in october 

64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?

fucking YES

65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?

my friends are all cute wtf anything with them is cute

66. How old are the last three people you kissed?

uh they were pretty boy, luke, and olivia so 22, 20, and 21.

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself? 

lmao i get them done but my mom pays, the one thing she’ll pay for for me B’)   

68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?    

tbh i’m not a big fan of either, but i guess leopard

69. Do you have any stickers on your car?    

no but i should fix that 

70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?    

lil wayne i guess

71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone?    

iPhone but man let me tell u i had a blackberry the first half of high school and i loved that little son of a bitch

72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?    

i’m pretty sure it was valentines day??? me and evie got some young stuffed crust

73. Do you like diet soda?    

i’m literally going to die from drinking diet coke

74. What color are the walls in your room?

in my apartment, they’re just white, but like at my home home they’re chocolate brown and light blue    

75. Are you 16 or older?    

physically, i’m 20. mentally, debatable.

76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?

no i think i watched the first couple episodes when it came out tho??    

77. Do you have a job?    

yep i’m a real adult i work in an office

78. What are your initials?    

sgg

79. Did you ever have braces?    

i did lmao junior year of high school til right before i started college

80. Are you from the south?    

nah im midwest both in body and spirit

81. What does your last status on facebook say?    

uh it was a click bait thing i shared lmao

82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed?    

i do bc it was gabrielle who has been one of my best friends since first grade

83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad?   

im closer to my mom i think but me and my dad are chill the majority of the time now. i don’t live with them anymore so i don’t rlly spend much time with them in general but y’know

84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics?    

i did gymnastics for a minute as a small small child

85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters?    

wow it’s been a really long time??? i think it might have been the blair witch lmao

86. Do you smoke?    

cigarettes, sometimes. i like to smoke when i’m at parties, and also evie smokes so i’ll smoke with her sometimes. weed, yes more often. haven’t for a while tho wtf

87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops?    

heels lmao i fuckin hate flip flops

88. Is your phone touch screen? 

uh are there people on this site that don’t have touch screen phones in this day and age   

89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly?    

straight

90. Have you ever snuck out of your house?    

nah lmao my parents would’ve killed me i would never have gotten away with it. also where i grew up, none of my friends lived that close together so when we couldn’t drive, none of us could’ve met up. plus there was nothing to do at all after like 10 other than go to someone’s house so there would’ve been no point

91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool?    

i guess a lake?? if it wasn’t a scary one u feel me

92. Have you ever made out in a car?    

yes my first make out ever was in a car parked on my college campus

93. …Had sex in a car?    

no but y’know i’m open 

94. Are you single or in a relationship?    

i feel like i’ve talked about this so much lmao but not really either i guess i’m more single than i am in a relationship, but i’m not tryna sleep with anyone other than pretty boy so idk honestly this is nice to be somewhere in between

95. What were you doing last night at midnight?    

i was sleeping last night was not an exciting one

96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks?    

idk man i think december, the last time i was in florida??

97. Do you like the camera on your phone?    

yeah it’s chill. i rlly like taking pictures with flash through snapchat

98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits?    

once again i’ve talked about him SO much in this questionnaire but yes i do right now he’s a weird art hoe thot that does too many psychedelics and likes to write and teaches kindergarten 

99. Have you ever passed out from drinking?    

nah man i rlly don’t drink that much

100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate?   

idk if i hate them, but i definitely am not friends with a good portion of my Facebook friends  

101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? 

i have not thank god   

102. Name your favorite Kesha song:    

die young B’)

103. Do you have any tan lines right now?    

it’s march in ohio whats the sun

104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts?    

i would never wear cowboy boots honestly i’m insulted

[geleixi]

arc-v because i have a snow day!!!! and shit is going down!!!! :D

ep136

eyyyyy, remember THESE characters?

reira calls leo his father too :/

not sure how i feel about that, considering leo has never been revealed to show reira any affection, and he’s been the main villain of the series up until literally the last episode

shut up edo, you weren’t creating a utopia, you were turning innocent people into cards

aww, sora and his ego

okay that thing where he offered edo a lollipop was cute, but “want a lick?” was a........ Bad Line

...............ew. zarc.

why is his hair down? why are his eyes relatively normal? he looks more innocent than yuuya has in the last like seven episodes

also those goggles just don’t go with the rest of him

didn’t he originally have gray hair? i wanted to see that again, but with his face

scale 0 and 13 wtf

that’s not an infinity, that’s an 8

ohhhhhhh sora referring to yuuya as his teacherrrrrrrrrrrr

i don’t even really care about sora but seeing him cry really Got Me

“can you stop calling me sora-kun?” ohhhhhhhhhhhh

DAMN yuuya’s timegazer and stargazer magicians were fragments of astrograph magician

i JUST realized that the yuus’ color schemes are based on the colors of their special summon monster cards.........

unification summon?

that card background is ugly af

SUDDENLY IT’S AN ACTION DUEL

aww, edo and sora called out to the guy that they each tried to kill in the past..............???????

sora finally conceding to the xyz users :O

ep137

oh fuuuck, the yuus’ dragons are all derivative of zarc’s original dragons

ROMANTIC FLASHBACK TO THE TIME YUUTO JUST STRAIGHT UP PUNCHED SHUN IN THE GUT

GONGENZAKA AND SHINGO???? WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU GUYS BEEN

JESUS CHRIST THEY’VE BEEN GONE FOR SO LONG I THOUGHT THEY WERE TURNED INTO CARDS AND I FORGOT

god zarc’s monsters are annoyingly op

oh jeez that was creepy as fuck

goddammit sayaka

is shun really explaining the effect of the card that kaito just activated

shun and kaito are literally allen and sayaka’s realtionship goals

~boyfriends~

welp. those were some convenient portals

JACK ATLAS

aww, shun and kaito :c

passin along the pendulum

do gongenzaka and jack even know?? what’s going on????

okay they do but it’s not clear how

lmao shingo sitting this one out bc he knows he’s incompetent

aaaaahhh it’s time for me to sleep bc i started this at a ridiculous hour and now it’s an even more ridiculous hour but SNOW!!!! hopefully i’ll continue tomorrow night

[inmythotsdiary]

fifth entry; 02.04.2020

welp....my period just started and now im fucking sad again. i feel pretty empty and it sucks cause i haven’t felt like this in a long time. i also stopped using tinder cause i feel bad for the people that were talking to me. i felt bad for them to talk to someone like me; fat and ugly. if there was a term for a female incel, i would be one. i’m definitely not fucking proud of it but i feel like guys always want a girl to be skinny and beautiful, or in my case, they want a small, skinny af, cute asian girl. when im actually obese and i think i look pretty manly. idk, im just kinda mad at the world rn for no fucking reason but what’s new. 

[noteventalented]

There's no hood like Motherhood

I always wanted to be a mom. At a very young age I knew it would be my biggest accomplishment and I couldn’t wait for it. I remember during school when the teacher would ask “where do you see yourself in 10-15 years” I wouldn’t instanstantly think “with a family first of all….”

I had just turned 24. I worked at a huge Neurology clinic. I was the medical assistant of an amazing woman Doctor whom I owe a lot of my knowledge to. Anyways, I was one day late but I’m the type of person that has to know what is up with my body at all times. I love doctor visits but that’s beyond the point. So i took a test since we had them for the clinic. I put the test in my pocket because we had hella patients. 10-15 mins later I came back to my desk and saw the biggest surprise of my life! No one ever prepares you for those two lines I swear to god. I couldn't breathe. I believe I cried for two days straight. Let's fast forward..

My pregnancy was amazing, almost perfect. My first appointment was two weeks after I found out and I was 7 weeks pregnant. There I was listening to the most beautiful sound ever, his heartbeat. I remember crying during first trimester begging God for one day of peace (I threw up 4-5x daily for 4 months!!). Last trimester testes you like a mf. Besides that I ate/eat healthy for the most part so I believe that plus excersice were major factors in my pregnancy being so fab. I had a good job at the time so it gave me the opportunity to have a great OB and deliver in a even greater hospital, which were also a plus.

Two days before my due date I went in for my last appointment. I actually already had my induction scheduled for the following week incase I went past due. I had a uterus massage which is as uncomfortable as it sounds. The remaining of the day I felt light cramps as if I was about to get my period. I went home and finished my bag, cleaned my house, took a long shower and took my nails off because I desperately needed a new set. Midnight hit, boyfriend and I laid in bed and played an episode of Jessica Jones. Thinking back I realize I might of jinx us by saying “as long as the baby doesn’t come while we go to bed because I’m sleepy af”. Mind you, I was still getting mild cramping then I noticed they were getting closer and closer. I started timing them with my phone and they were literally 5 mins apart. We still decided we would wait, it was prop nothing. Welp, my water broke about 30 seconds later.

I was as chill as Kourtney Kardashian was when she was having Mason. We arrived to the hospital. You know paperwork, testing, IV got put in and then there was the painful ass epidural (seriously it was the most painful part.. to me). I love needles, blood, medicine so I felt in my zone the whole time. At this point I had done tons and tons of research on childbirth. I kept reminding myself “I’m a woman, we are meant to have children, I got this. I got this”. Fast forward a couple painful hours and three hours of pushing I finally delivered my son. I always replay it in my head to forever remember every single detail. I cried instantly. The room went quiet like in the movies. I was slow motion but the room was racing. I stared at my beautiful baby, every inch, counting his toes and fingers. He was perfect, more than I could of ever imaged. The happiness you feel is unexplainable. You’re complete. After labor, the honeymoon ends. Delivering a placenta is hard work. Picture this, you popped out this baby that’s been in your belly for almost a year. Your organs are all over the place (literally, nurses have to massage your uterus to go back in place. It will make you scream) and you still have to keep pushing to deliver all this extra stuff. No count me out. I was dead. Oh and let’s not talk about how you feel the next day. I felt as if I got run over by a train. I couldn’t walk, sitting was a bitch and every inch of me was sore. Sore as fuck. Thank god for pain meds.

Guess what though? I would do it all over again. I actually consider myself so blessed and lucky. I thank God every single day for giving me my son. A son at that. I always saw myself with a son first. My pregnancy was beautiful. I felt beautiful the whole time. I went half on a child with someone I love dearly. My son changed me, he made me a better person. I wasn’t near decent, I was actually an ugly person on the inside at a point in my life. Someone I take great advice from once told me “ask the universe and you will receive”. I did just that, I prayed for forgiveness and guidance to the right direction. I was always a lost child. The universe gave me my child. Everything makes sense now. Life has never been more clear for me.