#also this was my 420th post

[ms--lobotomy]

Man. I was going to write more of the Mertarion fic but uh. Uh. I have fleas,. Help they are coming for you too

Summary: Typhus mashes genitals with his perpetual test subject.

Word Count: 1200

Content Warnings: SMUT, needles, captive reader, I'm going to hell for this one, probably stockholm syndrome or something, oh this is FILTHY filthy, death but you're a perpetual so you're fine, tentacles, overstimulation, impact play,

Image Credit: @squishyowl (sorry)

You couldn't die. You'd figured that one out long ago, when he'd first stolen you away, and it wouldn't do you well to repeat that incident, would it? You'd missed your home planet, and the diseases that he'd given you were painful and ugly (to say the least,) but when he'd rewarded you for being such a good girl for him? When those gauntlets traced your bare skin, when his mouth found his way onto yours and you tasted nothing less than the sickening sweetness of overripe fruit?

You'd grown to love him.

You'd heard the shifting of his armor long before he announced his presence. Ceramite ground against defiled ceramite as he slowly sauntered his way in, calling out your name not long after. It sent shivers down your spine, the way he said it. You were stark naked on the ground of your cell, ever bashful about showing your bare skin. It was all the better to study you with.

"Typhus," you choked out, the window of your cell caked in slime and viscera. It wasn't a clean room, not by any stretch of the imagination.

He fumbled with the key to your cell before swinging the door wide open. You didn't think to escape, it wasn't something on your mind. Not now. The needle he carried in his hand was delicate against him, a small glass thing with a clear liquid in it.

"Stand up for me," he barked. "I'm not going to be able to reach you unless you stand."

You stood up. Although his face was obscured by his helmet, you could tell how his eyes were roving the contours of your body. He knelt down, his corroded gauntlet hard against soft flesh as he lined up the needle with your neck with his other hand. You felt tears form in your eyes as he inserted the needle into you. Your arms fell to his shoulders as he gripped your jaw in his hand, forcing you to look up at him. Even kneeling, he was still taller.

He suddenly released you as he stood up. You keeled over on the ground, grasping at your chest. Typhus chuckled.

"I love how you look when you struggle against me," he said, sitting down on the ground. "So weak, so helpless. Do tell me how you are feeling?"

You keeled over, trying to choke out any semblance of a word as you felt the skin on your neck crystallize. You felt the hardened skin as it spread over the rest of your body, freezing you in place. Your heart froze in your chest, but your brain was still running rapidly, taking in everything for the time being. This wasn't the worst, per se, but it would be nice if you could turn your brain off for a bit.

Typhus stood up, looming over you. "Feeling funny?" he asked. You were still as a statue. There was no blood circulating into your brain, there was no oxygen being delivered. He watched intently as you faded out, slowly but surely. Somewhere along the way he removed his helmet, revealing half of a face. The other half looked withered off, a battered skull remaining. He left his helmet on the ground, absolutely fascinated with watching the disease wreak its havoc.

As soon as you faded away, the crystals on your body began to recede back into your neck before disappearing for good. You inhaled sharply, shivering profusely as he put his corroded gauntlet to the back of your neck.

"I would have died," you muttered, looking away from him.

"You should be used to it by now," he replied. "I almost can't believe someone so fragile would still be around."

"I can't leave," you sighed.

Typhus chuckled. "You're catching on," he said, his other finger brushing your slightly opened lips. "So soft, so fragile. All mine," he said. "Ready for your reward?" He left no time for you to respond, pressing his mouth to yours.

You let out a slight mmph! as you felt his tongue part your lips, tasting yet again of overdue fruit. You relented, wrapping your arms around his neck. Arms and other appendages roamed your body, with a tentacle surrounding your nipple and squeezing.

"Nngh-!" you cried as he bit your bottom lip, chewing lazily. He chuckled into you as one of his tentacles found its way between your legs, rubbing slowly at your apex. His hands were at your bottom, squeezing roughly before one left for a brief moment before he struck you there.

You cried out again, your nude form collapsing in on his rough armor. He chuckled as you regained your composure, hands on his shoulders as he squeezed you and rubbed between your legs.

"Sensitive?" he asked, rubbing the area he struck on you with his hand.

"There's a lot going on--" you whimpered. You grinded on him without thinking to, and he chuckled again.

"Oh, you're so desperate for me, my little lab rat," he said, his voice dry and menacing. "So desperate. I want to hear you say it."

Your voice caught in your throat as you clenched around him. You came on him, hard and wet. The noises coming out of you were incomprehensible at best. He smirked, moving his armored hand so that it cupped your face.

"That's not good enough," he whispered into you. "I want you to tell me how desperate you are."

"I need you," you whimpered softly, "I need you and I don't care-- nngh, how. Gods, I'm so desperate..."

Typhus was already undoing his codpiece. When you were finished, he tackled you to the ground, pinning your wrists down. "That's a good girl," he muttered, grinding on you. "Good girl, my good little lab rat..."

You squealed as he found his way into you, stretching you out further on him. His gaze on you was intense, and his grip was no less so. "Fuck, you're so tight," he grunted as his hips started to buck. "So tight around me, I could break you so many times and you would come back ready for more."

You grabbed for the back of his neck, pulling him down towards you. He smirked, pressing another rough kiss to your lips. His tentacles were still wrapped around you; squeezing your nipples, rubbing your clit, keeping you in place. You shivered before you came again on him, loud and hard. "Typhus..." you murmured against his lips as he pulled away. "Typhus, please, more..."

He bucked his hips harder, sending waves of sensation throughout your body. He grit his teeth, fucking you senseless for what seemed like hours before he finished inside of you, blowing his load into you. You let out a sharp cry as he filled you up. Sticky liquid trickled down your legs, pooling on the floor. Both of you were panting.

Typhus picked you up, guiding you to the corner of the cell before he sat down. He brought you down on him, wrapping his arms around you. "Had your fill?" he asked, running his hands up and down you.

"For now," you said, leaning back into him.

"There will be more," he said, holding you close.

Taglist: @bispecsual@justeverythingnothingelse@bleedingichorhearts @nekotaetae@historitor-bookshelf

[wuhohdotcom]

tf2 mercs and the smokes i think they would pick up from a gas station. source: i work at a gas station

reasonings below the cut:

scout: i chose newport red shorts for him because i feel like he would think menthol is for losers. newports to me are a very. basic cigarette. the layman's cig. i also find newports, especially red newports to be a little nasty lol. also i dont see him as much of a cigarette smoker but i do think he smokes every once in a while, esp if hes really stressed out or had a bad match. his 1 box will last him a few months. after a while i think he would switch to newport gold shorts, as theyre lighter.

soldier: i know theres a lot of art of soldier smoking cigars, esp blue soldier. while i don't disagree with that notion, i dont think hes coming into a convenience store and picking up a pack of cigarillos. i went with lucky strike red shorts because theyre an All American cigarette and have been around forever. theyre on the cheaper side as well and he smokes them in Emesis Blue. i didn't go with american spirits because theyre advertised as an "organic" cigarette, and i feel that he would find that to be pretentious and an overall turn off. also american spirits are more expensive.

pyro: i dont think pyro is a tobacco smoker. if the pyro is smoking anything its going to be weed wrapped in a banana backwoods. banana is one of the more strange flavors backwoods has, and i feel like they would go for something on the fruitier side. i also chose backwoods because backwoods fucking rule and the shits look like twigs bc theyre full leaf wraps. i also feel like they would choose banana because none of the other mercs would want to smoke that.

demo: with demo it was more a process of elimination than anything. i dont think he's a cigarette smoker. so i went with a cigarillo because i can so very clearly see him smoking one. i don't think he would go for swishers as a lot of them are fruity, and that doesn't seem up demo's alley. i went with white owl sweets because theyre simple and straight forward, and i feel he would like a pack of sweets. to be honest, im a little shaky on this one, but i don't think anything else would suit him besides like. game greens. to be fair, i don't think he smokes much, and would probably go for something higher quality and hand wrapped if he was smoking a cigar. overall he would get these if he needed something quick and cheap.

heavy: idk about other stores but my store has 1 million dorals and nobody is buying them except for maybe one person every 6 months. heavy is that person. if heavy is smoking anything he's smoking light 100s because i can't see him smoking or liking a rich or full flavor cigarette. also dude is big so he's not getting shorts because they're too small and will be gone in two seconds. these smokes are a mystery to me; i have no idea of the quality or price range. but in my mind i can see him coming up to my counter, asking for these, and leaving without a word.

engie: i almost went with marlboro southern cut for this guy but it felt too on the nose, even if i think he would enjoy the smoke of those. i went with honey bourbon backwoods instead. the flavor seems right up his alley, and i can clearly see him asking for these at a convenience store. as to what he does with them... i can see him smoking them as they come in the package, or using them as a wrap. overall engie looks like he drinks good whiskey, and these cigars look like good whiskey. well... bourbon.

medic: i had a hard time deciding what medic would smoke and went thru all the brands i know of. at first i discounted marlboro because of how commonly bought they are, figuring he would smoke something weirder. but when i came back to it i had figured he would enjoy menthols, and i landed on marlboro menthol blue 100s. he wouldn't go for full flavor, as they would irritate his throat. i feel like smoking these shits would be like sipping cold water after having mint gum. i mean, they're described as "smooth" and "cool." medic is smoking basically spearmint and cold water, but not enough to the point of where he's buying a pack of marlboro ice and its variants of gum package looking cigs.

sniper: i chose cheyenne menthols for him because to me sniper looks like he loves old school shit. the youngest person i have seen come in and buy these has been maybe 40. i don't think he would go for a basic cigarette. cheyennes are box cigars, and a box of these goes for under $3, and typically have more tobacco in them. i feel as if he would enjoy that as well as menthol full flavor, and the smokes themselves are brown instead of white. i can see him smoking a brown looking cigarette so clearly. also the packaging has an outdoorsy look to it lol. basically, i just Know he would go for these. if he was going to go for anything else, he might smoke camel menthol wides. he would also pick up zig zag unbleached cones for his joints.

spy: look we all know spy is smoking that hoity-toity imported french bullshit but if for whatever reason he had to pick up a pack a cigs from a mobil or something it would be parliament blue 100s. i already think he smokes 100s in general, and would go for parliaments because theyre expensive. where im from they sell for like $13 a pack and its always dudes in suits and/or gold chains asking for these things. the packaging isn't an issue here as spy keeps them in a case, but i don't feel like he would turn up his nose at it. overall these are his best option for a gas station cig.

[vault81]

[donkeysatemyfigs]

oh no guys i just found foreign material (glass) in my Trader Joe's Kale & Cauliflower Chili with Navy Beans (SKU 66886)

[planetaryplut0]

EVEN MORE DNDADS ODYSSEY INCORRECT QUOTES WOWOOWOWOWOW

also this was my 420th post-

[oersteds]

"nooooo you can't just make your 420th post about live a live!!!"

hehe oersted headcanons go brrrr

made with my personal au (twizlore) in mind. these can work for any au where oersted doesn't die tho. these are my headcanons, don't try and ""correct"" my interpretations.

(content under the cut as per usual)

He's got very... interesting eating choices. Balmgrass isn't the only strange yet edible-adjacent "food" he's eaten, much to the horror of Straybow and any other witnesses. Joshua Tree Seeds? Eats those. (They have a good crunch to them!) He even thought Holy Water was a drink, once. (He realized his mistake after finishing a bottle. It was pretty good, though. Given the chance, he'd drink it again.)

The only food-adjacent thing he outright refuses to eat under any circumstances are Trifles. (aka "This Thing" in the fan translation) He tried it once. It was so bad, he turned to stone. Twice. (He got better.)

Enjoys doing challenging things, just for the sake of doing it. "Because I can" is his go-to explanation when people ask. Incredibly difficult task that everyone else keeps putting off? He's doing it. Hard video game? Played it, beat it, probably 100%-ed it. Player-made challenges for an otherwise simple game? Does those for breakfast. He will face the very void itself until it relents. Why? Because he can.

Joined every yearly tournament that he was allowed to in Lucretia for that very reason. Yes, he still tried to join when he was too young for fighting. Didn't see the tournament prize being marriage as a good idea, because nobody knew the king was gonna throw that at the finalists. (Besides the minister, that fucker) He won because Straybow would've been pissed if Oersted went easy on him. (A high IQ stat is not indicative of being smart, it seems.)

Despite not being okay with the marriage, he offered to save the princess because it's the right thing to do. Possibly also because nobody else was gonna do it. He would've tried to somehow cancel the marriage, after the rescue... had it not gone so horribly south.

Has a hard time knowing when it'd be safer to give up. For better or worse, he just keeps trying. ("But what if it is possible?" "I can still fix this!") If the story had any mercy with him, this mindset wouldn't have led to him becoming the very demon he set out to destroy.

He's got a very strong sense of justice, and an equally powerful desire to do the right thing. Him talking about a "fair and just reward" wasn't him feeling entitled to some princess. In that moment, a "fair and just reward" in his eyes would've been being allowed to live.

Lost his sense of self when becoming Odio. Still struggles with it, especially after defeating the Sin of Odio. He has a hard time with remembering what he did, back there. Maybe it's better that way.

Very prone to burnout, but outright refuses to take any breaks. And forgets to take care of himself. Hopefully he'll realize the issues with having this lifestyle soon.

[chaotic-theatrical-weaver]

i want u to know that you were the 420th note on one of my posts i hope u have a lovely day <3

You too on the enjoying your day part! I saw that you followed. Stick around at your own risk. There's a reason my profile says I'm "making a bell of my honor," as I always say, but I also always say that I hope you think I can make good music out of it. <3

[ibis-gt]

i never get tired of giants who purr when they get chin n neck scritchies

[incorrect-darkside-detective]

Emily: Look. I may not be a saint, but it's not like I’ve killed anybody. I’m not an arsonist. I’ve never found a wallet outside of an IHOP and thought about returning it but saw the owner lived out of state so just took the cash and dropped the wallet back on the ground.

Armelia: Okay, that's really specific, and that makes me think that you definitely did do that.

[secondcupstacey]

wilbur would tell george to gather pinecones to make his own pesto and george would do it

[winged-eggers]

Bit the bullet and went full spider because the previous design wasn’t cutting it... If everyone else on Floralia is arthroed pod then Taranza should be no exception. Spiders are cute damn it

Bonus Magolor just because

[smileymikey]

She glances at him. “First festival?”

He smiles, a little ruefully. “First live music thing, really.”

He looks almost a little embarrassed about that, like as a rockstar himself he should be well-acquainted with the ins and outs of attending live shows as a spectator and getting stepped on by men twice your size; holds himself almost like he’s preparing Kiara to make fun of him for it.

Kiara’s learned a few things, having spent so long in everyone’s back pockets. Some of the things she’s still learning, and some she hasn’t even begun to learn, but there’s something there, about friends, about family, something she’s not really ever had before, something she’s still not sure if she even has with them. Teenage, bitchy, angry Kiara might have said something, even if she meant it as a joke, but half of kindness is being observant, knowing when to push and when to pull: knowing that to JJ, this probably isn’t very funny at all.

So instead, she just says, simply, “Guess we need to make this one special, then.”

JJ’s returning smile is full of relief, and something like gratitude. “Yeah. Guess we do.”

[futurepresentashes]

Starter/Plotting Call

Like this post for either a random starter or for me to jump in your IMs to plot a bit. If you’re more happy with winging it, just let me know and I’ll give you something for that and I can work off you in return!

[beelily]

foudn out coming out day was yesterday, i am tired, hello

[lamplighterr]

a birthday present for @funneyman-henry !!! amber emotions in the house 2nite,

[we-are-the-dury]

The Joxter // 6 26 2019 ig // ko-fi // redbubble