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thedeadhandofseldon · 3 years

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The Anti-Mercer Effect

On the Accessibility of D&D, Why Unprepared Casters is so Fun, and Why Haley Whipjack is possibly the greatest DM of our generation.

(Apologies to my mutuals who aren’t in this fandom for the length of this, but as you all know I have never in my life shut up about anything so… we’ll call it even for the number of posts about Destiel I see every day.

To fellow UC fans - I haven’t listened to arc 4 yet, I started drafting this in early August, and I promise I will write a nice post about how great Gus the Bard is once I get the chance to listen to more of his DMing).

Structure - Or, “This is not the finale, there will be more podding cast”

So, first of all, let’s just talk about how Unprepared Casters works. Because it’s kind of unusual! Most of the other big-name D&D podcasts favor this long, grand arcs; UC has about 10 hours of podcast per each arc. And that’s a major strength in a lot of ways: it makes it really accessible to new listeners, because you can just start with the current arc and understand what’s going on!

And by starting new arcs every six or seven episodes, they can explore lots of ways to play D&D! Classic dungeon delve arc! Heist arc! Epic heroes save the world arc! Sportsball arc! They can touch on all sorts of things!

And while I’m talking about that: Dragons in Dungeons, the first arc, makes it incredibly accessible as a show - because it lets the unfamiliar listener get a sense of what D&D actually is. (It’s about telling stories and making your friends feel heroic and laugh and cry, for the record). If I had to pick a way to introduce someone to the game without actually playing it with them, that arc would definitely be it.

And I’d be remise not to note one very important thing: Haley Whipjack and Gus the Bard are just very funny, very charismatic people. Look. Episode 0s tend to be about 50%(?) those two just talking to each other about their own podcast. It shouldn’t work. And yet it DOES, its one of my favorite parts, because Haley and Gus are just cool.

And a side note that doesn’t fit anywhere else: I throw my soul at him! I throw a scone at him - that’s it, that’s the vibe. The whole podcast alternates between laughing with your friends and brooding alone in a dark tavern corner - but the laughs never forced and the dark corner is never too dark for too long.

Whipjack the Great - Or, the DM is Also a Player!

I think Haley Whipjack is one of the greatest Dungeon Masters alive. The plots and characters! The mechanical shenanigans! The descriptions!

Actually, let’s start there: with the descriptions. (Both Haley and Gus do this really fucking well). As we know, Episode 0 of each arc sees the DM reading a description - of a small town, or the Up North, or the recent history of a great party. And Haley always strikes this tricky balance - one I think a lot of us who DM struggle with - between giving too much description and worldbuilding, and not telling us anything at all. She describes people and events in just enough detail to imagine them, but never so much they seem static and unreal - just clear enough to envision, but with enough vagueness left to let your imagination begin to run wild.

While I’m thinking about arc 3’s party, let’s talk about a really bold move she made in that arc: letting the players have ongoing control of their history. Loser Lars! She didn’t try to spell out every detail of this high-level party’s history, or restrict their past to only what she decided to allow - she gave them the broad outlines, and let them embellish it. And that made for a much more alive story than any attempt to create it by herself would have - but I think it takes a lot of courage to let your players have that agency. Most Dungeon Masters (myself included) tend to struggle with being control freaks.

And the plots! Yeah, arc one is built of classic tropes - but she actually uses them, she doesn’t get caught up in subverting everything or laughing at the cliches. And it’s fun! In arc 3, there really isn’t a straight line for the players to follow, either - which makes the game much more interesting and much trickier to run. And her NPCs are fantastic and I will talk about them in the next section.

Above all, though, I think what is really impressive is how Haley balances mechanics, and rules as written, with the narrative and rule of cool - and puts both rules and story in the service of playing a fun game. And the secret to that? She’s the DM, but the DM is a player, and the DM is clearly having fun. Hope Lovejoy mechanically shouldn’t get that spellslot back, but she does, and it’s fun. The changeling merchant in Thymore doesn’t really make some Grand Artistic Narrative better, but wow is it fun. And she never tries to force it one way or the other - the story might be more dramatic if Annie didn’t manage to banish the demon from the vault, but it’s a lot cooler and a lot more fun for the players if Annie gets to be a badass instead - and the rules and the dice say that Annie managed it.

Settings feel like places, NPCs feel like people, and the narrative plot feels like a real villainous plot.

Anyway. I could go on about the various ways in which Whipjack is awesome for quite a while - she’s right, first place in D&D is when your friends laugh and super first place is when they cry - but I’m going to stop here and just. Make another post about it some other time. For now, for the record I hold her opinions about the game in higher esteem than I do several official sourcebooks; that is all.

Characters - Or, Bombyx Mori Is Not an Asshole, And That Matters

Okay, I said I would talk about characters! And I will!

Just a general place to start: the party! All of the first three parties are interesting to me, because they all care about each other. Not even necessarily in a Found Family Trope sort of way, though often that too. But they generally aren’t assholes to each other. The players create characters that actually work together, that are interesting; even when there’s internal divisions like SK-73 v. Sir Mr. Person, they aren’t just unpleasant and antagonistic all the time. Listening to the podcast, we’re “with” these people for a couple hours - and it isn’t unpleasant. That matters a lot. (To take a counter-example: I love Critical Role, but the episode when Vox Machina pranked Scanlan after he died and was resurrected wasn’t fun to listen to, it was just uncomfortable and angering and vaguely cruel).

All of the PCs are amazing, and the players in each arc did a great job. If you disagree with me about that, well, you have the right to be incorrect and I am sorry for your loss. Annie Wintersummer, for one example: tragic and sad and I want to give her a hug, but also Fuck Yeah Wintersummer, and also her familiar Charles the Owl is the cutest and funniest and I love him. And we understand what’s going on with Annie, she isn’t some infinite pool of hidden depths because this arc is 7 episodes and we don’t have time for that, but she also has enough complexity to be interesting. Same with Fey Moss: yeah, a lot of her is a silly pun about fame that carries into how she behaves, but a lot of how she behaves is also down to some good classic half-elven angst about parenthood and wanting to be known and seen and important. (Side note: if your half-elf character doesn’t have angst, well, that’s impressive and also I don’t think I believe you).

There are multiple lesbian cat-people in a 4-person party and they both have requited romantic interests who aren’t each other. This is the future liberals want and I am glad for it.

Sir Mister Person, the human fighter! Thavius, the edge lord! Even when a character is “simple,” they’re interesting, because of how they’re played as people and not action-figures. And that matters a lot.

In the same way: the NPCs. There really aren’t a lot of them! And some of them come from Patreon submissions, so uh good work gang, you’re part of the awesomeness and I’m proud of you! The point being, the NPCs work because enough of them are interesting to matter. It’s not just a servant who opens Count Michael’s door, it’s a character with a name (Oleandra!) and a personality and history. They’re interesting. Penny Lovejoy didn’t need to be interesting, the merchant outside the Laughing Mausoleum didn’t need to be interesting, but they ARE! And Haley and Gus EXCEL at making the NPCs matter, not just to the story but to us as viewers. I agree with Sir Mister Person, actually, I would die for the princesses of the kingdom. I actually care about Gem Lovejoy of all people - that wouldn’t happen in an ordinary campaign! That’s the thing that makes Unprepared Casters spectacular - and, frankly, it’s especially impressive because D&D does not tend to be good at making a lot of interesting compared to a lot of other sorts of stories.

And, just as an exemplar of all this: Bombyx Mori. Immortal, reincarnating(?), and described as the incarnation of the player’s ADHD. I expected to hate Bombyx, because as the mom friend both in and out of my friend-group’s campaigns, the chaos-causer is always exhausting to me. And yeah, Bombyx causes problems on purpose! But! She is not an asshole.

And that’s important. Bombyx goes and sits with the queen and comforts her. Bombyx gives Annie emotional support. Bombyx isn’t just a vehicle to jerk around the DM and other players; Bombyx really is a character we can care about. To compare with another case - in the first couple episodes of The Adventure Zone, the PCs are just dicks. Funny, but dicks. Bombyx holds out an arm “covered in larva” to shake with a count, and robs him of magical items, but she also cares about her friends and other people! She uses a powerful magical gem to save her fertilizer guy from death! Yeah, Bombyx is ridiculous, but she’s not just an asshole the party has to keep around for plot reasons; you can see why her party would keep her around. And one layer of meta up, she’s the perfect example of how to make a chaotic character like that while still being fun for everyone you’re playing with, which is often not the case. And I love her.

The Anti-Mercer Effect - Or, “I think we proved it can be fun, you can have a good time with your friends. And it doesn’t have to be scary, you can just work with what you know”

The Mercer Effect basically constitutes this: Matthew Mercer, Dungeon Master of Critical Role, is incredible (as are all of his players). They’re all professional story-tellers in a way, remember, and so Critical Role treats D&D like a narrative art-form, and it’s inspiring. Seeing that on Critical Role sets impossible standards - and people go into their own home games imagining that their campaigns will be like Critical Role, and the burden of that expectation tends to fall disproportionately on the DM. And the end result, I think, of the Mercer Effect is that we get discouraged or intimidated, because our game isn’t “as good as” theirs. (And I should note - Matt certainly doesn’t want that to be our reaction).

So the Anti-Mercer Effect is two things: it’s D&D treated like a game, and it’s inspiring but not intimidating. And Unprepared Casters manages both of those really freaking well. Because they play it like a game! A UC arc looks just like a good campaign in anyone’s home game. They have the vibes of 20-somethings and college students playing D&D for fun because that’s who they are (as a 20-something college student who plays a lot of D&D, watching it felt like watching my friends play an especially good campaign). They’re trying to tell a good story, sure, and they always do. But first and foremost, they’re trying to have fun, and it shows, and I love the UC cast for it.

And that’s the other half of it: it’s inspiring! It’s approachable; you can see that Haley and Gus put plenty of work into preparing the game but it also doesn’t make you feel like you need hundreds of pages of worldbuilding to run a game. Sometimes a cleric makes Haley cry and she gives them back a spell-slot from their deity! That’s fantastic! It’s just inspiring - listening to this over the summer, when my last campaign had fallen apart under the strain of graduation, is why I decided to plan and run my new one!

That quote from Haley Whipjack that I used as the title for this section? That’s the whole core of this idea, and really, I think, the core of the podcast.

The Mercer Effect is when you go “that’s really cool, I could never do that.” But Unprepared Casters makes you look at D&D and go “wow, that looks really fun. I bet I can do that!” And I love the show for it.

And I bet a lot of you do too.

#unprepared casters #bombyx mori #haley whipjack #long post #this is really rough but I don't have time to keep working on it and it's already a month later than intended

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cerastes · 3 years

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May I request a review of general coolness and awesome of the horses we saw during the event?

Right, Maria Nearl event!

I liked the event quite a lot, though I do feel like it dropped the ball at the end. That aside, I had a lot of fun the entire time!

First of all, the cast was wonderful. Maria is explicitly not a powerful or skilled fighter to any degree that matters in the frame of strength the story takes place in, being definitely more skilled than the average person and even the average nameless knight, but being woefully outclassed by practically anyone that has a name in the Major. A humble mechanic with a heart drenched in justice, Maria doesn’t even like to fight, and adheres to a knightly ideal and a duty she must fulfill instead to justify her participation in these commercialized bloodsports, which carries the narrative. She is joined by a lovable cast of rambunctious family and family friends, who serve as her mentors and support: Her aunt, who is more akin to an older sister-slash-maternal figure, Zofia, who we are immediately shown is so close to Maria that the moment Maria made a big decision (the participation in the Major) without confirming with Zofia first, she immediately chastised her, wondering why she did not consult with her beforehand. Aunt Zofia is her aunt only due to technicality, as she’s a lady-in-waiting (or, in other words, belongs to a branch family of the Nearl clan, and is actually only 5 years older than Maria) and, more importantly, a decorated, retired competition knight who earned enough in her career that she can live comfortably for the rest of her life, ironically far outstripping the main Nearl house in terms of wealth. There’s also Kowal, an old Ursus mechanic, engineer and smith who mentors Maria in the ways of the wrench, willing to pass his workshop to Maria with her as his successor any day of the week, who himself also used to be a squire to V, an old, retired knight of old who served as Grandpa Nearl’s peerless sharpshooter and who trained Zofia back in the day. Finally, we have Old Marcin, owner of the cast’s favorite hangout, a little bar where he and Maria mediate the infinite squabbles, fights, and arguments that Kowal, V, and occasionally Zofia spark between one another. The event does a great work of introducing the dynamic between these five characters as something extremely domestic and comfortable: You can tell these five are tight and that they have spent a long time together. It’s just another day in their low profile lives when, suddenly, Maria dons Margaret’s old armor and decides to take arms for the main Nearl house, which is currently on the brink of ruin and about to lose its knighthood and nobility titles.

And this decision, and everything this decision means, informs everything that happens afterwards: Zofia tells Maria that if she’s worried about being left homeless, then that’s just foolishness, since Zofia is absolutely 100% ok with Maria moving in with her. She’s loaded. They can live comfortably for the rest of their lives without a concern. Kowal, likewise, insists that Maria is a good enough mechanic that she can earn a living by doing that. But, see, it’s not about a livelihood for Maria, it’s about preserving that for which Margaret and Grandpa Nearl fought and stood for, it’s never about the wealth, it’s about the name, the principle, not the glory, the weight of ideals that blood was shed to nourish and maintain. Maria is not even sure if she’s doing the right thing, but she’s got to do something. Why? Look no further than Uncle Mlynar. A bitter man, a corporate slave, spitting bile at her niece and apologies at his bosses. And the fact that it is very clear that this guy can kick some serious ass -- we never see him without his trusty blade hanging on his hip and, at the end, tells Margaret to square the hell up -- makes it all the sadder: In any other context, Mlynar might be a knight’s knight, hell, Margaret herself says she respects him still, but the Mlynar we see now is an unimportant cog in the capitalist system, just another grunt apologizing to his phone every time his lips part, who gets in hot water just by making small talk because, whoops, your workload accumulated again, better get chop chopping. Mlynar is a very telling character, because he represents everything Maria resents about the current state of the Nearl family: Disgraced, meaningless, existing as an extension of other bigger conglomerates. He is what she wishes to never become, and what the Nearl house cannot be any longer, if she has any saying on the matter.

Maria is not a good fighter. This is important and delightful, because she wins not due to aptitude, strength, or experience, she instead uses her knowledge as a mechanic, her “pegasian sight” (what Grandpa uses to refer to Maria’s incredibly powerful investigative faculties, being able to analyze situations and catch even the smallest details quickly) and the sheer heft of her brass pair of metaphorical horse balls to pull through with clutch victory after clutch victory. Zofia trying to cram as much fundamentals as she can on Maria in as little time as possible so she can survive also helps a lot.

Maria’s victories earn her the possibility of sponsorships, which would, superficially, fix her problems: The main Nearl house would retain status, she’d get a Title, and she would not have to fight anymore. But, see, this is not the point of Maria’s fight. One might say “Maria should’ve just taken the sponsorships”, but that’s not the point of Maria’s fight. She is pushing back against this highly commercialized view on “knighthood”, just like Margaret before her did. Margaret had a clear intent and her passions made her act mostly in anger, as she makes no secret: She hates Kazimierz for what it has become. Maria’s intent is less clear, even to herself, but she’s very much aiming for the same thing, but instead of Margaret’s anger, Maria has her determination. To have taken any sponsorship would have superficially kept the Nearl house afloat, but Maria is not looking to keep the house alone afloat, she’s looking to keep the house and the ideals in which it was built afloat. It goes beyond mere status.

In a world as bleak as Arknights’ and specially Kazimierz, Maria is no doubt naive to the point of frustration... But it is that which we call naive that makes a knight’s knight: Chivalry forged from ideals, sacrifice’s blunt borne from beliefs. The easy way out would’ve ultimately doomed her story, hence why she did not just move in with Zofia, hence why she did not just succeed Kowal and accept his workshop, hence why did not accept a sponsorship: It never was about that.

The very first event of the game, Grani’s Treasure, takes place in Kazimierz as well, but in the isolated outskirts, and we see hard-working, honest people, inhabitants of a nice little scenic hamlet. Now, we see what Kazimierz really looks like: A sprawling megalopolis of neon and concrete where the system shamelessly feeds on whoever sticks out their neck. The contrast couldn’t be harsher, and any hell is upheld by its demons: Czarny was a fascinating character, in that he very clearly held a lot of influence and power... And was extremely replaceable. The moment he messed up badly enough, he was instantly replaced by just whoever the hell picked up the phone next. It’s chilling. One puppet performed poorly? Irrelevant, there’s an endless supply who’ll take his place, provided enough fear and funds. Fear and money. The two currencies of Kazimierz. When a shadow council can just appoint you as the next Spokesman just on basis of you having picked up a phone without any real background check beyond “the previous Spokesman likely intended for this next sack of meat to pick up his phone in case he messed up”, well, congratulations, you’ve crafted a terrifying capitalist hellscape. No wonder Margaret hates Kazimierz so much, given the rot brewing in its underbelly and upper echelons.

And to all this, I have to say: It’s lovely. I loved the world building, implicit and explicit, I loved the cast, I love the themes explored and how characters were used to juxtapose these.

I feel it kinda drops the ball at the end by just... Not having a conclusion? It just sort of ends, which is very weird because events tend to be good at concluding themselves. I assumed we’d get some post-Challenge stages cutscenes to tie everything up like in the past but... No, not really, it didn’t happen. Margaret swoops in, the sisters perform the Ultimate Kamehameha on the Sarkazian Knights, and then it sort of ends one brief talk later. It needed a bigger epilogue, for sure. But this doesn’t ruin the event or anything, just a bit of a weak ending, everything else is still delightful and I loved it very much.

So yeah! The horses sure were wonderful!

#whiskas does stuff #arknights #maria nearl #arknights lore post

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seattlesea · 4 years

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bad representation in the riordanverse

Racism:

-Gave Hazel and Piper gold and ‘kaleidoscope’/brown-blue-green changing eyes and pretty much went ‘Let’s add some characters of color but they cANT HAVE BROWN EYES THAT’S NOT PRETTY ENOUGH’ as if whitewashing isn’t more than just the skin.

-East Asian characters: Riordan pretty much went 'Here are my East Asian characters- one of them looks like a fat baby on steroids and is super undeveloped, his mother is strict and cold, and all the others are just described as 'Asian' because different countries in Asia don't exist and there's obviously no difference between Japanese, Chinese, and Korean'. His portrayal of East Asian characters went like this: Frank: Chinese, chubby, hates himself, underdeveloped, described to look like a 'Chinese Canadian baby man' and a 'panda' as if that's not stereotyping, and only learned to love himself when he looked hotter. Drew: Asian, villainized, rude, shallow, vain, and selfish. Ethan: Asian, rude, evil, a traitor, and deceased. Grandma Zhang- rude, strict, cold, traditional, and deceased.

-Hazel: Has gold eyes. Has 'cinnamon brown' hair even though dark brown or black hair would be way more inclusive and realistic. Had a mother portrayed as a rude and selfish witch who sacrificed, used, and trafficked her own child. Was the only character called or described as a witch while African-Americans were usually accused of witchcraft just for their skin color. Was the only character who was cursed. Had a mother who literally practiced voodoo. The only African-American character in the series before ToA who isn't dead (but she also died). Was paired with a sixteen year old guy even though African women are constantly forced with older men and that's blatantly racist stereotyping.

-Piper: Had 'chocolate brown' and then 'mahogany' hair? Has kaleidoscope eyes. Put a feather in her hair (which is stereotyping)- and it was an eagle feather, which is also wrong because eagles are extremely sacred to First Nation tribes and only spiritual leaders or warriors can wear it or it has to be gifted by an Elder of the tribe, and Riordan basically went 'Feathers are very important and it's racist to make a character wear one at inappropriate times but I'm going to make my character wear one as a cute accessory to make her look cool, pretty, and headstrong and to add to her 'Aesthetic'’ even though Cherokees didn’t wear feathers (which proves he did the bare minimum of research). Constantly oversexualized (56% of First Nation women are sexually harassed and Riordan had the audacity to put Piper in an 'embarrassingly low v-neck' and to have her constantly drooled over by a WHITE MALE and have her sexualized by her 1000+ mother without her knowledge or consent). It's said that her father was from a reservation in Oklahoma...but there are no reservations in Oklahoma, only cultural centers (which also proves that he did the bare minimum of research). She's the only First Nations character and she's the only character (besides Nancy Bobofit) depicted as a kleptomaniac (First Nations people are constantly called thieves by racist assholes). “The week before, he’d turned down several million dollars to play Tonto in a remake of The Lone Ranger. Piper was still trying to figure out why. He’d played all kinds of roles—a Latino teacher in a tough L.A. school, a dashing Israeli spy in an action-adventure blockbuster, even a Syrian terrorist in a James Bond movie. And, of course, he would always be known as the King of Sparta. But if the part was Native American—it didn’t matter what kind of role it was—Dad turned it down.” (The Lost Hero, page 165). So her father is fine with playing an extremely racist and stereotypical Middle Eastern role but not a First Nations role. Uses a cornucopia as a weapon (how she got it- cutting it off a half-bull- is disrespectful to her culture as hurting an animal is banned and she used a cornucopia- a symbol of Thanksgiving- as a weapon). Cut her hair, which is basically taboo in First Nations culture.

-Samirah: Had an arranged marriage (at age twelve, and she believed that she was groomed to be married to a rich and respectable family and nothing else). Ripped off her hijab in front of tons of male characters. The only Muslim character. The only Muslim character and she's the only character who married her cousin (you're supposed to break stereotypes, not enforce them).

Thomas Jefferson Jr: Said that he was thankful to the British for not siding with the South during the American Civil War even though they needed the South's cotton (but they didn't side with the North either). AKA a black man and son of a freed slave was thankful to Britain for not openly oppressing him? And at the same time he was named after a racist slave-owner.

Reyna: She's brown and her entire story revolves around her being independent, strong, alone, and self-sufficient but also desperately needing love and support but then Riordan says that she can't get her heart healed AKA she went through an abusive home, killed her father, left her sister, felt alone her whole life, worked a two-person job alone for months, and had to put on a brave face for others throughout all this then was literally told 'Shut up no one wants to hear about your struggles, just suck it up and deal with it’ and have you seen all the shit brown girls have to go through and keep silent about it?

Extra: -Latino, Puerto Rican, African-American, Chinese-Canadian, East Asian, First Nations, etc. characters and the two most powerful, best, and most skilled characters and who the stories mostly revolve around are two white guys AKA white supremacy.

-"Harriet Tubman, daughter of Hermes, used many mortals on her Underground Railroad for just this reason" and that World War II was caused by a child of Zeus and a child of Hades fighting very blatantly erases the shit those people went through and Riordan just went 'Let's use these racist movements as little easter eggs in my story'.

-Thanatos, who was chained and enslaved, is described with dark skin.

-Riordan writing the characters went a little something like this: Drew: You get common Eastern Asian features like dark hair and eyes because you're arrogant, selfish, conceited, and rude, and because you're an antagonist and you're going to be used to make one of my protagonists- who has unique traits- look good so you're going to have the basic, 'boring' physical traits so the readers know who's the more superior of the two of you. Leo: You get common Latino features like curly dark hair, dark eyes, and light brown skin cause you're the weird, hyperactive unattractive one who's very flirty but constantly gets rejected and you're the only main character without a love interest and the only way you can get a girlfriend is when she's forced to fall in love with you through a curse. Frank: You get common Chinese features like dark hair and eyes cause you're the fat unattractive loser who catches the eye of the African character who already has unique and 'special' traits so you don't have to be super attractive. Reyna: You get common Puerto Rican traits like dark skin, hair, and eyes cause you're the stoic, lonely, intimidating, and cold one who wants all the guys (two white guys for that matter) but none of them want you and they both have girlfriends with traits like blonde hair and gray and kaleidoscope eyes so the readers know who are the more interesting couples. Piper and Hazel: You two get eurocentric features because you're the main characters I have to set apart from everyone else- including other females whom I'm going to make one of you rivals with- so the readers know who's more superior so I'm giving you unique eye colors that literally cannot be found in humans so I'm going to try to validate it by saying that it's from something mildly associated with your godly parent even though neither of them have those traits. Riordan basically said that the common features are bad and boring and that unique and special features- aka features not found in those ethnicities- are good and cool. Also- if gods don’t have DNA how can their traits be passed down to their demigod children checkmate Riordan.

-Cecil Markowitz is the only Jewish character in PJO and the first thing used to describe him is "That kid, always thinking about the potential payout".

-Lavinia said that she was going to bring her date to her bat mitzvah even though you don't bring dates to bat mitzvahs or bar mitzvahs and she said that it was 'awkward' to tell her rabbi that someone was going to be her date even though you don't explain your guestlist to your rabbi, and they're most likely not even going to be at the party.

-Only three Latino and Puerto Rican characters (Leo, Reyna, and Hylla) and all three came from abusive households.

-Leo said 'Mamacita' as if that's not stereotyping.

-Made Nico ‘pale’ even though he had olive skin and gave him black hair and dark eyes despite Italians usually having light hair and eyes just to add to his ‘Goth Boy Aesthetic’.

-Hazel described Pluto to look like Adolf Hitler.

-Carter Kane said that Elvis took African-American music and made it sound like rock 'n roll and described it as cool- like no it’s cultural appropriation.

-Leo was abused and Riordan thought that it'd be funny to make all the other characters line up to punch him and then try to make it look funny.

-Gave almost every single POC character a white name and sometimes gave them white first names and POC surnames, and Reyna and Bianca are the only POC characters with names from their culture/native language and one of them is dead and reborn as someone else and the other’s full name wasn’t revealed until the fourth book in her series and she hates using it.

-Made two POC characters with names from their culture- Samirah and Olujime- go by white nicknames (Sam and Jamie) to make it ‘easier to read’ despite having white characters with the same amount of syllables in their names (like Annabeth) that didn’t go by nicknames.

-Never actually described the characters of color with physical traits from their ethnicities (Reyna, Hylla, and Leo with big eyes, thick eyebrows, brown hair, wide noses, full lips, etc., Piper with almost-oriental eyes, shovel teeth, high cheekbones, black hair, etc., Nico with light or brown hair and eyes, olive skin, a narrow nose, etc., Hazel with a wide nose and lips, dark brown eyes, black or dark brown hair, big eyes, thick eyebrows, etc.).

Anti-LGBTQ+:

-Nico was forcibly outed by Cupid and Riordan and the fandom didn't care and the only thing they thought was 'Aww, he has a crush on Percy! So cute!' AKA romanticizing a forced outing.

-Riordan said that he didn't want to make Reyna lesbian or bisexual because he thought it'd be stereotypical making her LGBTQ+ because she didn't want men anymore even though she could've been bisexual all along but Riordan casually dismissed the idea of that saying "Having a girl end up with a woman after dating men is a bad stereotype" and basically said that real bi girls don’t exist.

-The Hunters of Artemis were made so Artemis/Diana could protect those girls from men and their behavior towards women but Riordan dismissed lesbian relationships- even though nothing about that was said in real Greek mythology- meaning that he thinks that women need protection from other women just as much as they need protection from men.

-Alex Fierro is the only gender-fluid or transgender character and she/he’s seen as rude, snarky, and sharp and Magnus could magically tell when Alex changed gender.

-Riordan said that he wouldn’t make Reyna a lesbian because of stereotypes despite the reader asking if Reyna was going to get a girlfriend, not come out as lesbian AKA Riordan thinks ‘Girls liking girls’ is automatically ‘lesbian’ and completely dismissed bi, pan, poly, omni, etc. girls.

-Used a self-insert to make fun of wlw readers who saw themself in Reyna and thought she could be a cool character to relate to.

-Enforced LGBTQ+ stereotypes like the cold-hearted Asexual, the flamboyant bi/pan, the snarky gender-fluid, the emo gay, the laid-back and rebellious lesbian who dyed her hair pink and chews a lot of bubblegum, etc.

-Has one-hundred fifty-five characters total minus gods/goddesses, Titans, giants, nymphs, dryads, satyrs, monsters, etc. and only has fifteen confirmed LGBTQ+ characters (do the math, that’s exactly one out of ten regarding OCs).

-Only one character that isn’t cishet.

-Saves most the LGBTQ+ for the side characters or only confirms characters LGBTQ+ once they’ve become a minor character despite being a main character before.

-Only stated that Reyna was Asexual outside of his books and on Twitter as if that’s not exactly what J.K Rowling is doing.

-Used the LGBTQ+ community to make Piper seem like the ‘special snowflake’ and to set her apart from her siblings to make it seem like she’s better than all of them and used Hera/Juno and Aphrodite/Venus as excuses for his homophobic mindset that believes that straight is the default cause “Suddenly, much of what she and I had talked about started to make sense. Not being defined by Aphrodite’s expectations. Or Hera’s ideas of what a perfect couple looked like. Piper finding her own way, not the one people expected of her” in synonymous words is 'The expectations for love and the idea of a perfect couple are a heterosexual relationship, and anyone who 'finds their own way instead of the ones people expect' are different'. ‘Different’ and ‘default’ are antonyms AKA if he thinks that LGBTQ+ people are ‘different’, he thinks that straight is the ‘default’. Remember- an author writes their own personal beliefs.

-Josephine is the only black LGBTQ+ character.

-Reyna is said to be Asexual despite feeling sexual attraction towards Percy cause no one likes someone five minutes after knowing them and it’s anything but sexual attraction.

-Magnus and Alex are the only LGBTQ+ relationship whose growth and development is actually shown in the story (while there was also Apollo and Commodus, Piper and Shel, Will and Nico, Apollo and Hyacinthus, Emmie and Jo, Lavinia and Poison Oak, etc.).

-Riordan never canonically said the name of any sexuality and is clearly uncomfortable with the LGBTQ+ community shown by his little to no writing regarding physical affection and deep emotions in his LGBTQ+ relationships.

-Only added in LGBTQ+ relationships for publicity- Percy Jackson and the Olympians release dates: 2005-2009. 2005-2009: LGBTQ+ support was nearly at an all-time low. No LGBTQ+ characters, relationships, or references in the books. The Lost Hero-The Mark of Athena release dates: 2010-2012. 2010-2012: LGBTQ+ support was still very low. Still no LGBTQ+ characters, relationships, or references in the books. The House of Hades release date: late 2013. Mid-2013: the giant spike for LGBTQ+ support and allies. One confirmed LGBTQ+ character. The Sword of Summer release date: late 2015. 2015: LGBTQ+ support was good and gay marriage was legalized. A few LGBTQ+ references but no confirmed characters. The Hammer of Thor and The Ship of the Dead release dates: 2016-2017. 2016-2017: LGBTQ+ support was quite high. Two confirmed LGBTQ+ characters and the first canon LGBTQ+ relationship and kiss. The Trials of Apollo release dates: 2016-2020. 2016-2020: LGBTQ+ support was very high. More LGBTQ+ characters confirmed in one book than all the other series combined. Kind of obvious he was just following the public opinion.

-Legit said ‘Reyna can’t like girls cause she has had crushes on guys before’.

Ableism:

-It was heavily implied in The Battle of the Labyrinth that Rachel Dare had schizophrenia/psychosis but it's never brought up again.

-Grover's fake feet made it look like he was disabled from the Mist and it was said that he was bullied because of it but it was never brought up again.

-It was said that Tyson looked like he had down syndrome from the Mist covering his one eye but it was never brought up again.

-It was stated that every character but Frank has ADHD and dyslexia but never actually showed any symptoms after Percy Jackson and the Olympians and characters like Piper and Leo were even able to read English writing throughout The Lost Hero and the only symptom of ADHD Riordan showed through his characters was ‘a lot of fidgeting’ as if that’s not a blatant stereotype.

Pedophilia:

-Luke, a twenty-two/twenty-three year old had a crush on Annabeth, a sixteen year old. That's a six-seven year age gap.

-The only two girls put into relationships with much older men are black (Hazel and Sadie).

-Hazel, a thirteen year old, got together with a sixteen year old guy. Hazel's crush on Frank is normal- a girl having a crush on an older guy, but Frank's crush on Hazel is disgusting- an older guy looking down at a child and thinking about making out with her.

Misogyny:

-Aphrodite's kids are seen as useless, weak, snobby, shallow, vain, and selfish just because they’re feminine.

-Riordan portrayed Aphrodite’s kids as feminine despite Aphrodite being the goddess of love and beauty, not femininity, as if romance and beauty are reserved for women only.

-Piper is the only 'tomboy' child of Aphrodite and she's portrayed as tougher, stronger, and better than her feminine siblings (and it's portrayed that way multiple times throughout the story like other characters telling Piper she’s "-tough for a child of Aphrodite").

-Piper immediately stereotyped and disliked every single feminine character like Drew and the rest of the Aphrodite cabin just because they liked makeup and skirts as if that’s not shallow criticism.

-Feminine characters like Drew, Isabel, Khione, and Medea are used or even created solely as antagonists to make Piper- the tomboy- look better.

-Calypso is the only feminine character and she sucks at everything.

-Riordan’s take on female characters: Drew: a vain, rude, selfish, snobby, and bitchy mean girl. Silena: a shallow traitor. Reyna: a cold-hearted robot. Piper: internalized misogyny that was never brought up again. Calypso: an island whore. Athena: a rude, aggressive bitch with no emotions. Aphrodite: shallow, vain, conceited, and self-centered. Hera: completely evil with no backstory added into it. Marie: an evil witch who selfishly used and sacrificed her daughter.

-The Hunters of Artemis were blessed by Artemis to protect them from men but Riordan made it only about the men in their lives (again) and portrayed the whole 'losing men' thing like it was a burden and that they're 'giving men up' even though they join the Hunters to leave men. He distorted the original meaning of the Hunters- protecting women- by making it about the Hunters hating and being forced to leave men even though they're asking to have no men in their lives, cause that's the point of it.

-The Amazons and Hunters of Artemis despise men and literally attack them if they so much as speak as if sexism is reserved for women only.

-Portrayed femininity as weakness (and masculinity as strength, it’s even in the word- tomBOY).

-Constantly pit women against women for the sake of romance and love triangles instead of normalizing women getting along despite liking the same people and let the female’s relationships get controlled and influenced by the men in their lives.

-The men always outpower the women in powers and skills. Riordan’s portrayal of powers and characters- Percy: You’re going to have epic water powers and can even create your own personal hurricanes and even though you’ve only been canonically training for eight months total you’re going to be the best swordfighter despite multiple characters having years more training than you. Jason: You’re going to be able to fly, control lightning, create storms, and electric shock people into another dimension. Leo: You’re going to be able to create and control fire and blow shit up with just a screwdriver. Frank: You’re going to be able to shape-shift into any animal you want, even a whole dragon. Nico: You’re going to be able to control darkness and shadows, literally teleport, and raise a whole army of undead soldiers. Reyna: Powers? Nah, your only ability is to lend strength to others as if that benefits you at all. Annabeth: Powers? Nah. Piper: You’re going to be able to manipulate and seduce people and are literally going to use your body and attractiveness as a weapon and your power is literally called charmspeak. Hazel: You have more powers than all the other characters combined that can literally destroy anyone in less than a second but you’re never going to use them or even remember that you have them cause screw the female character being more powerful than the males.

-The men always accomplish the most incredible feats and if the females ever do accomplish something great (Reyna healing the riff and defeating Orion while the Hunters and Amazons couldn’t combined, Annabeth going through Tartarus, Hazel learning to control the Mist, etc.) they are never praised or rewarded or all the credit goes to the men.

-Ares/Mars in real Greek/Roman mythology was the feminist patron of the Amazons who loved his daughter very much and killed a rapist but was portrayed as the dumb, cruel asshole who loved nothing but bloodshed and tried to kill a twelve year-old kid who was trying to help him while Poseidon/Neptune in real Greek/Roman mythology was a greedy, short-tempered, and arrogant asshole who raped almost as much women than Zeus/Jupiter but was portrayed as the kind, caring, and gentle father figure.

Fatophobia:

-Frank is the only chubby character and he hates himself because of it, was constantly fat-shamed, and only learned to love himself after he got rippling abs, muscles, and looked hotter (because fat = ugly in Riordan’s mind, even though it's not).

-Clovis was depicted with a pot-belly and Drew described him as 'repulsive'.

-Dionysus/Bacchus is also depicted with a pot-belly and he's portrayed as a useless, rude, lazy, and drunken asshole.

Lookism:

Basically how Riordan wrote his characters- Percy, Annabeth, Jason, Reyna, Hazel, Piper, and most minor protagonists: You’re all going to be super attractive, have at least one character or more pining for you, have your looks constantly commented on, and some of you will even use your looks as a weapon cause that’s not obvious sexualization cause you’re all the main characters and protagonists that readers need to know are the protagonists. Nico, Leo, and Frank: You three are originally portrayed as unattractive but at some points are described as cute and two of you are insecure about your looks cause you’re scrawny and chubby and one of you hates yourself cause of your body and only learn to love yourself once you magically gain abs cause more muscle obviously equals more attractiveness. Luke, Silena, Chris, and Ethan: You four are going to be super attractive because you’re traitors but all of you make up for your actions and decide to help the demigods and become protagonists again. Octavian, Bryce, Michael, Titans, giants, etc.: You all are the antagonists so you have to be super ugly with multiple physical imperfections cause you’re not allowed to be attractive since you are against the protagonists and I have to set you guys apart and show the readers who’s the better and more superior character.

-Frank hated himself cause he was chubby and only loved himself once he got skinnier and gained muscle through magic but even then was called ‘cute like a panda’.

-Leo was described as scrawny and unattractive and was insecure about being short but even then was called ‘cute in a scrawny way’.

-Piper had facial imperfections and even a pimple on her nose but once she got claimed all of those disappeared and they stayed gone even after the blessing washed off despite all the magic being gone and only then was Piper’s looks commented on multiple times.

-Lester/Apollo hated his appearance cause he had a little flab and acne and his physical imperfections were used as comedy by making fun of it as if insecure readers don’t exist.

-Percy and Annabeth had one canon physical imperfection- a gray streak in their hair- and that magically washed away.

-None of the other characters were described with any physical imperfections like pimples/zits/acne, body hair (despite none of the characters having the care or time to wax or shave), bushy/frizzy or messy hair or eyebrows, big or small hands or noses, blackheads, super thick or thin eyebrows, blemishes, birthmarks, scars, stretch marks, braces, lazy eyes, yellow or chipped teeth, eye bags, glasses, moles, dimples, love handles, flab/fat, visible veins, freckles, etc. unless it added to their ‘aesthetic’ despite none of those being bad and saves it only for the antagonists as if ‘physical imperfections’ = ‘evil’.

Bias:

-Riordan portrayed the Romans as cold, cruel, ruthless, strict, and overall horrible despite them being the more inclusive camp regarding family and godly parents, have multiple families and rules that ensure their camper’s safety, and hold the nicest characters in the series while the Greeks are portrayed as fun, wild, reckless, silly, and cool despite holding the most prejudiced and rude characters, outcasting and ostracizing characters of certain godly parents just for their parentage, stereotype almost every single cabin, and make some campers without siblings live, sleep, and eat alone.

-Every Greek traitor (Luke, Silena, Ethan, and Chris) were portrayed as powerful, kind, attractive, and awesome and each made up for their actions but each Roman ‘traitor’ (Octavian, Bryce, and Michael, and only one of them are actually a traitor) were portrayed as unattractive, cruel, ambitious, ruthless, and extremely weak and never actually did anything useful.

-The Greeks were part of the Union and the Romans were part of the Confederacy (adding on to Riordan adding racist movements as fun little easter eggs in his stories).

-Four out of seven of the main Seven are Greek.

-There are at least 70+ Greek characters and less than thirty named Romans.

-The Battle of San Francisco Bay was used for the sole purpose to weaken the Romans and make the Greeks seem stronger than them and while the Greeks went through two whole wars, their camp laid almost completely untouched but the moment the Romans are introduced, half their population is wiped?

Romanticization:

-Romanticized Annabeth judo-flipping Percy AKA romanticized physical abuse/harassment (emotions, angriness, feelings of love and affection, ‘they went through a lot together’, etc. do not excuse hitting someone) despite Annabeth knowing where Percy’s Achilles Heel was and not knowing he lost it and flipping him on his back anyways (if Percy didn’t lose the Achilles Heel, Annabeth would’ve killed him).

-Romanticized Leo killing himself to see Calypso again and to take her off her island AKA a romanticized suicide.

-Romanticized Calypso yelling at and insulting Leo and Annabeth insulting and canonically lowering Percy’s self-esteem AKA romanticized verbal abuse/bullying.

-Romanticized Will trying to help Nico through his loneliness and depression as if that can’t be portrayed as someone just wanting to help another person AKA romanticized mental illness.

-Romanticized every character kissing another character without asking first and without their consent AKA romanticized sexual harassment.

-Romanticized Piper taking advantage over Jason’s amnesia and mental state and jumping onto him despite knowing there might be a girl he couldn’t remember AKA romanticized manipulation.

-Romanticized Piper and Annabeth’s possessive, overly-jealous, and controlling behavior over Jason and Percy (even before they were canonically dating).

-Romanticized Nico being forced to confess his crush on Percy AKA romanticized a forced outing.

Rick Riordan:

-Refused to apologize for his actions even after being called out by people from the groups he was writing inaccurately and stereotyping (Muslim, Jewish, African, First Nation, lesbian, gay, Puerto Rican, etc.) and tried to make himself look like the victim.

-Claimed he was being ‘bullied’ by readers half his age who were just pointing out his books’ racist flaws.

-Showed time and time again that he is not willing to listen to the voices of minorities.

-Clearly didn’t do his research on ethnicities, sexualities, religions, etc. shown by how he got the simplest things wrong.

-Tried to say that he- a straight white man- was right when people of the actual groups he was writing about (gay, First Nation tribes, etc.) were wrong.

-Used excuses like having a ‘headstrong’ and ‘stubborn’ character who wants to ‘show their culture in their own way’ for his stereotypes. No, Riordan, you want to show the culture that way, not Piper. She’s a fictional character, you’re real. Dumbass.

-Literally said ‘Sorry I put feathers in Piper’s hair, I can’t change what I wrote in the past and I didn’t know that sensitive readers existed’ then continued to write feathers in Piper’s hair in the future books.

The Fandom:

Note: Not to all of the fandom, obviously

-Draws Piper with light skin, light hair, and kaleidoscope eyes with feathers, hippie bands, and beads (yes, it's canon, but you're allowed to change it if it's blatantly racist, and the bead and hippie band thing was created by the fandom and that's also stereotyping).

-Almost always draw Reyna, Hylla, and Leo with light skin and Caucasian traits (props to the few artists who drew them with the right skin tones).

-Draws Hazel with gold eyes, ‘cinnamon’/light brown hair, and an adult body.

-Sexualizes female characters by drawing them in sexy and revealing clothes and giving them all the same exact sexy, slim, and perfect hour-glass shaped bodies.

-Almost never include physical imperfections, muscle, scars, stretch marks, etc. in drawings.

-Fancasts white actors for characters of color and puts actors/faceclaims of white people or people of different ethnicities in the moodboards or aesthetics for characters of color.

-Participates in cultural appropriation by wearing feathers when cosplaying Piper and wearing a hijab when cosplaying Samirah.

-Supports Riordan, tries to defend him, and condones his clearly racist and bigoted actions just cause they ‘like the books’ (if you are straight, white, and/or cishet, I definitely don’t want to see you trying to defend a fifty-five year-old multi-millionaire who is clearly racist, sexist, homophobic, and transphobic).

-Romanticize physical abuse, verbal abuse, mental illnesses and panic/anxiety attacks, etc.

-Ship pedophilic, manipulative, abusive, and wrong relationships.

-Barely allow others to have their own opinions (looking at you Perachel haters) without yelling at, insulting, cursing out, and/or even threatening them for liking or disliking different things than them including ships, characters, books, plots/faults, and Riordan himself.

-Straightwashes characters like shipping Nico with female characters or setting him up with a female character in fanfics.

-Whitewashes characters like drawing Hazel and Piper with eurocentric features, Reyna, Hylla, and Leo with white skin and Caucasian traits, Nico with white/pale skin, etc.

-Try to excuse and explain abusive, manipulative, possessive, and overall very wrong and toxic behavior.

-Fail to recognize and/or admit the toxic, racist, homophobic, sexist, transphobic, wrong, abusive, etc. faults in the books, ships, and characters just cause they like them.

The Percy Jackson franchise does not add good representation. You can still like the series as long as you don’t condone Riordan’s racist and toxic writing and actions and don’t try to ignore the horrible and stereotypical faults just cause you don’t want to admit that your favorite or childhood story is horrible.

193 notes · View notes

softer-ua · 4 years

Note

i can't be the only one who wants izuku to get fucking pissed at his situation, at all might, start questioning what the fuck is going on with OFA.

because if you're going to trust a fifteen year old with something like OFA and bind them to the life of a symbol, you do not get to withhold information. deku was not told he'd be dealing with an enemy like AFO when he got the quirk, nor was he told that basically its whole point was not fighting some vague concept of evil, but fighting a very tangible very dangerous villain. he wasn't told that up until all might, inheriting this power was guaranteed suicide, and even after all might you only have a vague chance of survival. to be offered such a life altering "gift", Izuku should have been warned of everything. from the start. and if not then then from the very moment izuku started seeing vestiges, or at least when AFO resurfaced. WHY IN GOD'S NAME WOULD YOU HIDE ANY, ANY BIT OF INFORMATION ON A QUIRK THAT IMPORTANT?????

no because, if you look at it cynically, All Might took this kid who had nothing and who looked up to him as effective god. He took this kid who he knew had no sense of no self-care or self-preservation. This extremely reckless kid who he saw putting his life at risk three times (sludge v1, hanging on to AM as he jumped, sludge v Katsuki) within 24 hours. He picked this kid who he knew would give everything (because Izuku had "nothing", and therefore nothing to lose) and "gifted" him with a ticking time bomb. Of course Izuku is willing to break himself if it means using OFA to max potential. So much of his self-worth is based on OFA. He's said time and time again he isn't sure if he deserves it, that it's a borrowed power. If you've taken this kid and given him everything practically overnight, of course he'll go to self-destructive lengths to prove himself worthy of it. Who'd want to go back to being nothing after all?

And this is a logical conclusion. Someone like Izuku, someone like All Might probably used to be in his youth and still kind of is, they're perfect to be put on this kind suicide mission. They're a perfect vessel. Sure they're heroic and brave and selfless, but most importantly they're willing to die for the cause. OFA the quirk knows this. Literally two seconds after Katsuki sacrifices himself telling Deku not to do shit alone, Deku renders said sacrifice useless by doing exactly what Katsuki warned him not to😭 And the quirk and vestiges encourage him. They don't give a shit about repercussions and Deku's chronic pain or possible arm paralysis. They just want to beat AFO. You go son you break those arms 🤠

Doesn't it all feel a little bit exploitative?

Look at it like this. A kid is born with no power. This kid wants to be great, but the world says he can't. He meets his hero, and the hero says he can't either. Then the kid acts heroic, but reckless. The hero sees an opening. This kid is good and doesn't care one bit about his well-being? Jackpot! He offers the kid a deal. Great power, an extraordinary gift at surface layer. But one with so many more hidden strings attached that hurt and break and haunt the kid, that he was never warned about or taught how to deal with. But he can always give it to someone else! Can he, really? Can he go back to being nothing? With a personality like his, well nope. And that's why you pick the overly selfless reckless ones. The ones that will feel indebted to you to a ridiculous degree.

Isn't it like dare I say... like a deal with the devil?

As we progress more and more into the lore of AFO and OFA, I can really see why Katsuki's started to view it as a cursed power. And with how wildly different from expectations (at least mine) + far more nuanced the Todofam drama has revealed itself to be compared to what it seemed upon first intro, I'm inclined to believe there's more to the OFA story than clean cut, young bro good guy vs mean big bro oppression.

TL;DR - All Might is the metaphorical devil jr who gave Izuku a passed down deal, and neither he nor broccoli boy read the fine print.

Bakugo’s ghost sent me this ask 💀

Lol but seriously, these are all excellent points and I’ve been sitting on this ask until I had time to answer it because you’re absolutely goddamn right

This shit is explotive af, and I’ve got a suspicion as to why

I don’t think Deku was a random choice, there’s a layer of fate/mystic woven into the bnha world that gets over looked.

Sir had insane fortune telling abilities that were never once wrong about anything except when it came to the 2 OFA users fates. Deku even specifically says he’ll smash any fate in his way, and I think on some level he knows he can because he has a different destiny.

The vestiges break him from Shinsos hold, meaning the can have some level of control over Dekus body. You think AM noticed every time something like that happened? AM didn’t even notice Bakugo internalizing all the blame for his retirement even after watching his mom force him to apologize for it??

“I keep forgetting that your still a child” AM, sir, this is the third time you’ve admitted out loud that you were just gonna let Bakugo suffer his own fate 💀 please stop indicting yourself and at least pretend you care about Bakugo outside his relationship to Deku jfc

Also what are the chances you get nine random holders and none of them turn out to be corrupt or at least too self serving to die for the cause??? Slimmer than the pages bnha is printed on.

There’s something pulling some strings here, and I think it’s the true power of First users quirk.

What would be the point of transferring a quirk if that’s it’s only power?

What would be the point of this quirk being essentially password locked?

What would be the point of this quirk being able to forced on to someone?

There’ wouldn’t be any.

But what if that’s not what the quirk is?

What if the quirk is actually passing something along, and that’s why it’s dna based, it’s the transfer of an integral part of them.

Something that would change a person if forced on them but would possibly eradicate someone if stolen. Something like a souls desire? That could be a dangerous thing to give to someone else especially if it’s something they didn’t want, now they suddenly have to?

Then you give this quirk a strength enhancing quirk?

Now it’s got some juice, how much stronger did it get? Can it sense others with a similar goal, can it make its host gravitate towards those people?

Is the firsts quirk purposely finding exploitable heros, like Nana AM and Deku. All people who were/are willing to give up everything for the cause. How much of the first is in there, how much sentient power does this quirk have?

We know that Nana gave up her family, her child, for the cause. AM never bothered cultivating a family and pushed away Sir and anyone else who is anti him dying, and now we’re seeing Deku do the same.

Deku who had no friends to begin with, a dad who’s out of the picture, and an already slightly strained relationship with his mom?

Is this quirk capable of learning? Does it know that having people you care about slows you down from sacrificing yourself?

Does this quirk compound with the other users goals make the drive stronger each time?

Idk but there’s a glimmer of hope that Deku isn’t doomed to be a glorified meat puppet, and it exists in the form of Kacchan.

No one else had someone so deeply rooted to them, who could fight right along side them. Bakugo is an outlier in this story, almost the exact opposite kind of hero OFA wants, his connection to Deku breaks the cycle.

Deku would never give up on Katsuki, and even if he tried Endeavor will start coughing up ice cubes before Bakugo lets him. He couldn’t leave Deku alone when he was convinced he hated him, there’s no way he’d do it now.

Dekus story will be different from the other users that’s for sure.

#get it?? cause endeavors quirk is hell fire 😀😀😀#bnha #mha #my hero academia #boku no hero #bnha bakugo katsuki #bakugou katsuki #kacchan #deku #izuku midoriya #all might #OFA #AFO #oneforall #allforone #nana shimura #softy answers #am i on to something #or have I just officially lost my mind?

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hermit-pistol · 4 years

Text

Guido Mista Fluff Alphabet:

Okay Mista fans, here’s your food. Only one more alphabet and this series will be one! Make sure to show love and read under the cut!

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

Mista has a super adventurous personality and this also shows in the activities that you two take part in. He always likes to do things that others would usually think of as silly, like going to the zoo. But! He always finds a way to make it entertaining and unforgettable. (Who wants to hold the baby kangarooooo)

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

He loves your laugh, and whenever he gets to hear it, it feels like the best reward for him. While he may have flirted with his fair share of girls in the past, looks aren't most important to him. In order to get you rolling around on the floor, he'll have to pull out the big guns, of course. Sometimes he'll tag team with Narancia to pull pranks just to get a rise out of you.

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

Mista absolutely hates when you're sad because that also makes him feel sad. When he sees you sulking on the couch, he joins you, wrapping his large arms around you. He'll keep asking you why you're sad while sticking out his lower lip, (which was absolutely lethal for you). Soon after, you forgot why you were down in the dumps, which was Mista's main goal the whole time.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

He's a romantic, so he's always thinking about the future and what it will bring in regards to his love life. Within a few years of dating, he'll already want to move in and get a dog. Maybe two dogs, who knows. He sees marriage, children, grandchildren...all of it.

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

Mista can be pretty stubborn in certain situations. He will make the plans for dates and activities that the two of you can enjoy. He'll always ask you for your input, of course. Overall, the balance of power in the relationship is equal.

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

Mista can be a little childish when disagreements are involved. There's a possibility that he'll use humor to get out of a sticky situation, but don't let him get away with this all the time. If he's in the wrong let him know, or else things can get blown out of proportion easily.

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

Mista thanks you for the companionship and happiness that you've brought into his life. You are the longest relationship that he's had in quite some time given his current line of work, and he loves that you have the patience to stick around with him. Even though his stand keeps him company most of the time, he's glad to share time with another human.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

Mista is very honest with you. Whether it be where he's going on a mission (sometimes, Bruno yells at him for telling you this), or telling you about his past before joining the organization, he's very transparent with you. You appreciate this, and make sure that you do the same. Hardly any secrets are kept between you.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

Like R mentions 👀, you inspire him to keep himself clean. Of course, a normal person would want to keep up with appearances but Mista is a very special guy.... While he was cheerful before the relationship he's over the moon when he sees you and prioritizes your time together.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

Mista will be quiet, which is very uncharacteristic of him. His stand will always manifest and say whatever he’s thinking, probably along the lines of taunting and verbally harassing the person you’re talking to before they eventually grow frustrated and walk away. The Pistols would cheer, celebrating their victory.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

Mista's kisses are very eager and wanting. In addition, he doesn't care who's around and has absolutely no problem with kissing in public. Even if you blush and get embarrassed this only give him another reason to hold you tighter and go to town. Prepare yourself... 😳

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

Mista will literally confess to you on the street. The first time he tells you that he loves you is actually in casual conversation. You had to do a double take, and he merely shrugged in response. It would take some getting used to, but you were elated that he felt the same as you!

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

He'll want to get married after his time in Passione is over, or at least has settled down to where he can live comfortably with you. The ceremony will be small, with only a few family members attending. Even if you haven't yet upgraded to a larger living space, he'll want to start a family right away. If you decide you're not ready you remind him that the Pistols are already his children.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

Every name invented is fair game. He loves using stupid niche names too that come up after a few months of dating. Examples include but are not limited to: "green bean", "lil mami", and "bicycle crusher" (the last refers to your thighs in a related incident).

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

He tells the gang that he's crushing on someone all the time, so when he first reveals that he's in love they really don't believe him at first. Although he "always says that", it's the Pistols that escalate the situation even further. Whenever you're along with him they'll come out and start egging him on with kissy noises and the like. He'll turn as red as a tomato when you grant him his wish.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

Mista LOVES to show you off in public, and he loves watching the reactions of the passerby as he has an arm slung around your waist traveling dangerously close to your butt. It drives him nuts that out of all of the guys in Italy you chose him, and now that you two are a couple he wants to show the world.

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

While many other guys may hate the concept of hugging, Mista loves it wholeheartedly. Whenever you're having a bad day, a good day, or are just walking around he won't hesitate to wrap his arms around you and smile. Sometimes the Pistols will even join in for a group hug! He's basically the hug king, and you're not opposed to that role.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

Very romantic babey. Since he’s so smelly he would suggest taking a bath or shower with you. This will take some extreme confidence from both of you. Whether it becomes sexual or not, just being intimate in this way is so special to him.

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

He believes in you like nobody's business. Also, he loves seeing when you follow through with your goals and sees your dreams coming to fruition! It's extremely exciting for him, and you love seeing his reactions to watching you succeed.

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

Mista loves the thrill that life and living provides. There's something new that arises every day you spend with him, and you never get bored. Loves booking hotel rooms for trips and the like and not telling you until the night before, which can be stressful yet cute.

U nderstanding - How well do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

Mista is stupid but means well. Sometimes you can quiz him, and he'll still forget something as simple as your favorite food, or your favorite color. In time, he'll learn more about you and your emotions, but for now every time you tell him a fact about yourself he'll write it in his phone so he doesn't forget. 🥺

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

Mista will be so cheesy about telling you how much you mean to him. -"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways...."- <-- If he pulls anything like this he usually givers you permission to slap him. You're one of the only partners that's stuck around with him for this long, and he's not planning on letting you go any time soon.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

Mista insists that he should help around the house at times, and this means that he's going to help with the chores in any way that he can. You end up assigning him grocery shopping (a big mistake). He is so unorganized and claims that he doesn’t need a list to go off of, and this usually results in him buying whatever he wants. Watch him get all the way home and still manage to forget the milk and bread. Good thing he bought the family pack of ice cream sandwiches though.

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

If you look up affectionate in the dictionary, there's a very good chance that you'll see Mista's name. He loves to cuddle with you and especially loves to nap with you because of the intimacy. Mista can nap anywhere, anytime, but he prefers falling asleep with you in his arms!

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

Mista will be soooo needy when you are away, and so will the Pistols. When you have the free time between class or meetings he'll call you begging for you to come home with his six children screaming in the background. Eventually, it'll get to be too much and you have no choice but to come home, much to his delight. He'll never let you go.

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

Mista will definitely buy you presents if he has the money at hand. Expect lavish gifts like jewelry and clothes from him, whether it's a special occasion or not. If he could, he'd give you the world, but at times you have to remind him that you have more than enough and you don't need to be impressed by physical possessions.

#only one more boys #let's goooo #guido mista #guido mista x reader #jojos bizarre adventure #jojos bizzare adventure x reader #jojo #jjba #jojo headcanons #jjba headcanons #fluff alphabet #600 Follower Special #please enjoy!

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bossbex · 4 years

Text

5x06 Reaction

JARCHIE!!! I missed their interactions so much... like honestly in S4 they barely spoke. I’m loving the “roommates” dynamic.

Ok the kevin/fangs/toni apartment(?) is... amazing!!

I love how they hired actual teenagers (or close to it) to play the high school kids... since all the “teachers” were playing high school students, what, 3 episodes ago??

Ok mechanic Betty is SO HOT

DORITOS I AM CRYING AT THIS PRODUCT PLACEMENT

Veronica’s taking over the Blue Velvet!!! Why not reuse that set lmao

Thoughts on this initial barchie interaction:

I’ve seen all the discourse about it seeming like Archie doesn’t care about Betty’s problems, or not taking them seriously, and people comparing Archie’s “oof - that sucks” to jughead’s “white noise” speech in 1x08 (which I thought was cringy AF and I even liked b*ghead at the time) and here’s what I’ll say:

His “oof - that sucks” comment as MATCHING Betty’s tone - she says it kind of matter of factly and with a bit of an eyeroll, she does NOT seem very upset about it, and she is a grown ass adult who DOESN’T need Archie’s condolences in that moment - and Archie knows that.

She then brings up Polly, and Archie ASKS A FOLLOW UP QUESTION: “didn’t your mom say she does this? Takes off for a couple of days” which shows that he is referring to a previous conversation about this - they’ve BEEN talking about it and he DOES care (not to mention they showed that he had texted her about Polly at the end of the last episode)

She says she’s trying not to panic - because she knows this is something Polly does and may not actually be in danger - SO HE OFFERS A DISTRACTION during a time when she is basically asking for one, and then SHE COMES UP WITH THE IDEA OF WHERE TO GO HAVE SEX

Anyway I have argued with enough people on twitter about this lol.. I feel strongly. Also, this scene was super cute and both Archie and Betty look so good in it.

I love Tabitha. Smart, enterprising, witty... I’m all for the Jugitha pairing. (seriously though, is a ship name decided for them? I’ve seen Tabhead and Jabitha as well, lol.

Uhhhhh ok this car sex scene? It somehow feels even more explicit than the shower scene?? The moaning and breathing?? HOW DARE THESE STONEWALL KIDS INTERRUPT THIS

LMAO NIGHT JOGGING

Is it just me or is Sheriff Keller looking really hot? Silver fox??

I have to note that Archie’s hair colour looks SO BAD in this whole episode but especially this football scene with the Reggie confrontation. It’s like, almost burgundy? But somehow bright orange at the same time? I hate it.

Ok Cole is absolutely nailing this “down on his luck, beaten down” adult Jughead. His character is funny all the sudden?? I love that he kept the money in the tip jar like OF COURSE

Ok Chad coming into Veronica’s class HE’S THE WORST!!! And then SITTING AT THE BACK I HATE HIM SO MUCH FOR THIS

Alright, now we have another scene that has people talking, which is where Archie meets Chad. My thoughts:

Archie clearly sizes up Chad. I mean, he dated Veronica for 3-ish years (in the show’s timeline) so yeah, it’s normal to meet your ex’s new partner and size them up. It read more like “he thinks Chads a douche” as opposed to “he’s jealous of Chad because he wants to be with V”.

They show makes a point of showing Betty’s reaction to them meeting. THIS SHOT IS NOT RANDOM. Yes, I’m sure the show will go there, she’ll get jealous of V at some point. Betty thinking that Archie is jealous of Chad is not the same as Archie actually being jealous of Chad.

I kind of loved how Chad just jumps in here to join in the karaoke night - he didn’t redeem himself from the previous scene where he SAT IN THE BACK OF HER CLASS WHILE SHE WORKED but I like how they’re not playing him completely evil

Next scene: BETTY AND TONI ARE TALKING!!! I REPEAT!!! BETTY AND TONI ARE TALKING!!! Seriously, it’s so refreshing that they’re actually letting all kinds of new dynamics and character interactions happen this season.

Also, NEDSLIST!!!! THIS SHOW!!!!

I am living for Cheryl being completely beautiful whilst yelling at construction workers.

So like... she actually doesn’t have that much money. She couldn’t really afford the donation for the school... I kind of wish that once she says “I can’t afford it” people would like, not keep pushing? I’m looking at you Toni, whom I absolutely adore, I just wish the writers didn’t make it like Cheryl’s being squeezed dry. I get that it’s needed for plot purposes but I don’t love it.

Kevin and Betty are friends again!!! Love it!!!

Karaoke night thoughts:

At no point is Jughead hanging out or interacting with the rest of the group. He stays separate from them - with Tabitha, which I appreciate, but I am just noting this because I’m sure it was done purposefully.

“She probably forgot it’s Gekko now” uhhhh didn’t Toni announce V as “Veronica Gekko” in the last episode?? LOL THE SHADE

I love Veronica’s voice

Ok so Chad actually comes off so great in this scene?? I guess this is part of his manipulation - come off as such a great guy in front of all her friends to get them to like him?

Jughead’s reaction to the duet is so me every time I’ve watched people do karaoke lmao

During the “or do you need more? Is there something else you’re searching for” they cut to Archie’s and Betty’s reaction. Archie is not thinking about V in that moment.

I am not seeing one iota of jealousy from Archie. He looks genuinely happy for them.

This Chad and Veronica bed scene makes me uncomfortable. But I’m glad they’re showing their softer moments!

The Archie/football recruitment sequence... Chad in the back of Veronica’s classroom again??? HOW IS THIS HAPPENING I HATE THIS!! Also, this is another scene where Chad looks jealous of Archie... not the other way around.

Britta!!! I love her. And I feel like the writers inserted her in specifically for Britta Lundin, former Riverdale writer and acclaimed author (read her book Ship It, seriously, it’s so good), and I love that. BUT THE WAY ARCHIE LOOKS AT BETTY IN THIS SCENE IS THAT EVEN LEGAL

We get the first glimpse Toni’s “Operation Bring Cheryl Out Of Hiding” plan here, when Archie asks her for funding for the football team and says its earmarked for something else (hmmmmmmm... this plan has been in the works for a while... and I’m here for it)

Ok. This scene where Archie goes to ask Cheryl for money is... a mess. My first reaction is that it was so OOC for Archie to bring up Jason in that way. Then I got to thinking... Archie probably would want to honour his dad in that way and was genuinely suggesting that as something that might actually be helpful to her, as opposed to purposely trying to manipulate her. He knows what it’s like to lose a family member, he just didn’t realize that Cheryl doesn’t grieve in the same way. The boy doesn’t have a malicious bone in his body. Anyway, now he’s been banished from Thornhill! But don’t we see him (and everyone) there in a bts photo from possibly 5x08? Isn’t that at Thornhill? Will this be addressed or will the writers just forget it ever happened?

I love Betty and Kevin investigating together. It’s so refreshing.

Ok this place Jughead is going to is legit the creepiest shit I’ve ever seen. I am having trouble making myself care about this “Mothmen” plot??

Betty’s “Straight to the Point” interrogation style is actually effective in this truck stop stakeout scene.

Alice again with her wine... I wonder if there will actually be an “Alice is an alcoholic” storyline or is the wine just part of her personality now?

Ok like it’s so inappropriate for a teacher to be wearing an HBIC shirt BUT I AM HERE FOR THIS DRAMATIC VIXENS HALLWAY WALK!! And Toni is correct, Cheer is a sport so sit down, Archie. Notably Toni adds in “not even Cheryl managed to do that” - I’m thinking she new Ms. Bell would be eavesdropping ;)

WHY IS THIS PORTAIT OF JASON WORTH SO MUCH??

Is this Minerva character going to be important?? I keep seeing people talking about how she and Cheryl are going to hook up but is that just because she’s a female character who interacts with Cheryl? I’m not seeing it yet but hey, it’s Riverdale.

JUGHEAD BRINGING UP THE EPIC HIGHS AND LOWS OF HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL I SCREAMED

Seriously though, since we know Jughead wasn’t there when Archie said that, there’s two options: Either Archie told him he said it, or (my preferable theory) Archie used to just SAY THAT REGULARLY and has said it in front of Jug lmao.

Chad again seems legit supportive when she tells him about her jewelry store plan?? THEY’RE SO UP AND DOWN!!!

Ok, so Betty is an FBI agent (trainee, whatever) and she JUST NOW THOUGHT OF TRACING POLLY’S CELL PHONE

This scene... when Veronica finds out Chad has been talking to Hiram behind her back... this is where she decides she’s done with Chad.

Another scene with Archie - I am still getting zero vibes that he’s into Veronica? And zero vibes that Veronica’s into Archie? It makes complete sense that Veronica would want to help the bulldogs. Chad is a total dick here and is definitely threatened by Archie... again, not the other way around. Side note: Chad, if threatened by Archie, is a TOTAL IDIOT for suggesting Archie renovates the Pembrooke - like, he’s going to be working? All the time? Where Veronica is staying? And probably taking his shirt off because he’s sweaty from all the working?? WHYYYYY WOULD CHAD ENCOURAGE THIS

This little flirty scene between Jughead and Tabitha (and it’s the first that I would say has any flirty undertones whatsoever) is pretty cute.

THIS BARCHIE PORCH SCENE I HAVE THOUGHTS

The fact that people are suggesting Betty showed up there because she wanted to talk to Jughead is SENDINNNNGGGGGG

Let’s be clear, she only asked about Jughead so she could make sure he wasn’t home so that she could bone Archie. There is no other interpretation for this.

THIS IS THE BEST BARCHIE KISS TO DATE

They are playing the song from the porch scene in the pilot... DON’T TELL ME BARCHIE IS MEANINGLESS WHEN THEY ARE USING THIS SONG

I think the fact that this is the first time they had sex and we didn’t see it is meaningful - they are showing that the relationship is deepening and they are more than “just sex”

As Betty leaves, Archie looks like he wants to reach out for her and then stops himself - he is definitely falling hard and he’s afraid Betty isn’t feeling the same way

Ok, Cheryl is straight up wearing lingerie in Toni’s office!!! And the red lipstick is back - notably, throughout the entire show, she has worn the red lipstick as a kind of shield - she never has it for her “vulnerable” scenes. Seems like that is still happening. AND this is where we see Boss Toni’s plan come into fruition - she started up the vixens and MADE SURE CHERYL FOUND OUT ABOUT IT because she knew that was the one thing that would make Cheryl come out of her Thornhill hiding spot. Well played, Toni.

Archie and Veronica announcing the bulldog funding... again, I’m not seeing ANY “romantic/attraction” vibes here? He does react when she says her last name is Lodge again but like, anyone would?

MS. BELL YOU GOSSIP I’M OK WITH YOU REPORTING TO CHERYL BUT I DRAW THE LINE AT HIRAM

Is Reggie... filing his nails? Lmao

I really hope Polly isn’t dead?? Like I very much want a Polly redemption story!!

Sooooo I guess Archie and Jughead are both going to die in this fire? Lol... well... they’re main characters so I’m sure they’re good.

I’m doooone for this week! So far really enjoying the timejump? Obviously because of barchie but also, everyone is just - better.

Well this turned out to be a novel. If you made it this far, thanks for reading :)

#riverdale #barchie #riverdale thoughts #riverdale 5x06 #5x06 #riverdale season 5

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meichenxi · 4 years

Text

Grimm’s Law and Verner’s Law: part 1 - Indo-European background

OR: how ‘cannabis’ and ‘hemp’ are actually cognates

tldr: sound change is cool and this great series of videos can explain it better than I can: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aal9VSPkf5s. this is going to be the first of a few posts on sound change in German and English. I originally wanted to explain the second sound shift, but quickly realised that it doesn’t make sense without any of the historical context, so please bear with me

What makes a language Germanic? Imagine for a moment that you’re an alien a la Matt Haig, newly arrived to Earth and presented with a sample of the world’s languages - or specifically, part of Eurasia’s. Some languages look very similar to each other; some very different. How would you go about building a hypothesis about which languages were related to each other, and which weren’t? How would you then test this hypothesis? And how, presented finally with data that shows your languages are related, would you explain how these changes came to happen in the first place?

Before we go on to Germanic, though, let’s talk about Indo-European today. You guys probably all know that IE is a large language family that stretches from Icelandic to Hindi; Germanic is one of the sub-groupings of this wider IE family. Within the sub-family itself, there are divisions: German is more closely related to Dutch, Norwegian to Swedish, Icelandic to Faroese and so on. This seems all fairly obvious to us now.

Way back when many centuries ago (not that many centuries, and certainly long after the Bible began), the idea of a language family spanning English to Russian to Farsi was a little less obvious. For much of the 17th century, people (esp a bishop dude called John Wilkins) sought to prove that English was related to Hebrew - this was an important endeavour at the time, because it would lend the language religious authority, especially in its translation of the Bible. Fast forwarding to the 18th century, a man named Sir Williams Jones who lived in Bengal realised - on account of his classical education and extensive contact with Indian languages - that there were much greater similarities between Latin, Greek and Sanskrit than anybody had previously realised. He wasn’t the first to think it, but he was one of the first to make such a definitive statement. The following quote is probably one of the most famous in historical linguistics, so I apologise for quoting it in full: ‘The Sanscrit language, whatever be its antiquity, is of a wonderful structure; more perfect than the Greek, more copious than the Latin, and more exquisitely refined than either, yet bearing to both of them a stronger affinity, both in the roots of verbs and the forms of grammar, than could possibly have been produced by accident; so strong indeed, that no philologer could examine them all three, without believing them to have spring from some common source, which, perhaps, no longer exists: there is a similar reason, though not quite so forcible, for supposing that both the Gothick and the Celtick, though blended with a very different idiom, had the same origin with the Sanscrit, and the old Persian might be added to this family.’

He was wrong in a lot of ways - he excluded some languages that do belong in this family and erroneously included others. He also wasn’t the first to come up with this idea. This quote, more than anything, marks the beginning of people’s interest in the ‘common source’: how could such a thing ever be proven, if we didn’t have access to the language itself? Part of the building ground for Indo-European historical linguistics was the desire to prove that linguistics was an empirical science much like any other, with laws that held universally and hypotheses that could be tested and demonstrably falsified. This rested on two principles both promoted by the Junggramatiker, or Neogrammarians, a Leipzig based group of scholars. Firstly, that sound change - the process by which sounds change, arise and disappear - was a highly regular process that held universally and obeyed certain rules. Secondly, that languages that exist today are structurally and in principle no different from languages that existed thousands of years ago - that is, we have no reason to assume that processes existed in the past that don’t exist today. This is called the uniformitarian principle.

If both of these things are true, that means that it would be possible to not only determine how exactly these languages were related, but also reconstruct an earlier version of the language once spoken by all Indo-Europeans!! (I hope you agree that this is immensely cool.)

Reconstructing these rules is important, because it allows us to better understand structural similarities between languages. There are some similarities which are surface deep: it’s easy to compare English cold and German kalt or warm and - well - warm, and say that they look alike. Pfad and path is a little harder, but when you compared Pfeffer and pepper it’s clear, ok, there’s a <pf> / <p> alteration going on there. Leaving the Germanic family behind, though, things get a little more tricky.

How exactly is venue cognate with come? What about English quick and Latin vīvus? And how can sister and Hindi bahan possibly be cognates??

Some of the most meaningful observations are structural; they are not surface deep, and they’re not immediately available for study. This is because, quite simply, the time depth since Indo-European was spoken is vast; there have been extensive sound changes in all of the languages concerned.

And that’s exactly what Grimm’s Law is. It’s a sound change that happened specifically in the Germanic branch of Indo-European, so it’s common to all Germanic languages, and nothing else. It’s one of those diagnostic criteria that an alien would use to determine that Norwegian and Dutch were related: it’s present, apart from where further sound change has obscured it, in every Germanic language - and it’s not present, apart from in borrowed words, in any non-Germanic language. That’s what we mean by diagnostic.

Let’s have a look at some examples! We’ll explain it in more detail next time, but this might whet your appetite. Don’t worry if you can’t read the phonetic description; it’s the consonants that are important at the moment (don’t, please, ask me about vowels. just please don’t).

(nb: where I use an asterisk *, this means that this form is reconstructed, not actually attested: we don't have any records of IE. > just means ‘goes to’ or ‘becomes’ in the various daughter languages. Also <these> brackets are talking about spelling, and /these/ brackets are talking about phonemes, or actual sounds. Also, the little ‘ means aspiration - we’ll talk more about what that means next time)

*p > f (no later shift in German, though /f/ is sometimes spelled v):

Engl. brother, Germ. Bruder (cf. Lat. frāter, Skt. bhrā́tā)

Engl. full, Germ. voll (cf. Lat. plēnus, Skt. pūrṇás)

*t > *þ (Engl. th) > Germ. d

Engl. three, Germ. drei (cf. Lat. trēs, Gk. /trê:s/, Skt. tráyas) Engl. thin, Germ. dünn (cf. Lat. tenuis, Skt. tanús)

*ḱ, *k > h (no later shift in German):

Engl. hundred, Germ. hundert (cf. Lat. centum, Gk. /he-katón/, Skt.

śatám)

Engl. horn, Germ. Horn (cf. Lat. cornū)

*kw > *hw (Engl. wh) > Germ. w:

Engl. what, Germ. was (cf. Lat. adjective & relative quod, Skt. kád)

*d > *t (Engl. t) > Germ. z:

Engl. two, Germ. zwei (cf. Lat. duo, Gk. /dúo/, Skt. dvā́)

BRUH. ISN’T THIS COOL!! AND THERE ARE MORE!

You can see here already by looking at the German and English that both have sometimes subsequently undergone sound changes, like English */hw/ to /wh/ and then finally to /w/, which becomes German <w> or /v/ - these sometimes obscure things. And if you really want to find out why German is different to English, well, we’ve got quite a few sound changes to get through before we get there!

Melissa, you might be saying, I know for a fact there’s something yucky and not-worky about Grimm’s Law. What about cases where it doesn’t seem to apply? What’s that? Also, I swear some Danish dude had the idea first but just didn’t publish...

Well. You’re not wrong. But this post is long enough already. Next time, we’ll go over what exactly it is, where exactly it manifests itself, and how it didn’t seem to work 100% of the time...and I suppose I still haven’t answered how ‘hemp’ and ‘cannabis’ are cognates...you’ll just have to stay tuned!

Bis zum nächsten Mal!

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maybeimamuppet · 3 years

Text

it's me and you

hello friends. happy Wednesday. welcome to the work that inspired 'Tuesday minus five'.

tw for alcohol and a scene that might be triggering to those who struggle with disordered eating.

otherwise, please enjoy.

“Jayjay!” Cady calls loudly, leaping onto her fiancée from above. Janis yelps and catches her.

“Jesus Christ, Peanut, don’t do that,” she breathes once Cady is safely on the bed next to her. “What is it?”

Cady rolls on top of her and hovers over her on her elbows. “We have a wedding to plan.”

Janis grins a little at the reminder. “That we do. I’m guessing you want to do it now?”

“Uhhuh,” Cady nods happily. “Well, not all of it. But I want to start now.”

“Okay,” Janis says, rubbing over the backs of Cady’s arms. “You gonna let me up?”

Cady groans like it’s a terrible inconvenience and flops to the side, but takes Janis’ hand when she reaches out to help her up and follows her to the living room.

They sit on the ground around the coffee table, and Cady pulls her laptop and a notebook seemingly out of thin air.

“How do we even start with this?” Janis asks. They’re not planning on anything crazy, just their families and close friends, but they still have no idea how to approach planning it.

“I don’t know,” Cady shrugs. “I guess we should probably pick, like, a date for it?”

“Yeah, that makes sense,” Janis says. “You wanted spring.”

“Yeah,” Cady says. “Is April too cold?”

“I don’t think so. It gets pretty warm by the end of it,” Janis hums.

“And it should be easy to remember,” Cady says, tapping the end of her pen against her notebook. “What about April thirtieth? That’s as close to the end as we can get, and a round number.”

“Works for me,” Janis says. “So far, we’re nailing it.”

Cady laughs at that, writing the date in large letters on the first line. “You’re cute. Okay, um… location?”

That’s a bit more tricky. They want an outdoor wedding, but where?

“I don’t know,” Janis says anxiously. “All I can think of is the woods again.”

“That wouldn’t be terrible,” Cady hums thoughtfully. “It’s an important place to us, and it’s beautiful. And we wouldn’t have to pay very much, either. We’d have to get everyone to Illinois, but that’s doable.”

“Yeah, we could do that,” Janis says. “Are you sure, though? You don’t want somewhere more fancy?”

“As long as it’s not Las Vegas and I’m married to you by the end of that day, I couldn’t care less where it happens,” Cady says contently, adding their newest bit of information to the notebook. Janis grins affectionately as she nibbles on the end of the pen once it’s written down. “Okay, what now… um… color scheme?”

“Do you have anything in mind?” Janis asks. She’s not terribly fussed about this.

“Yeah. Do you?” Cady asks back. Janis nods. “Same time?” Another nod. “Okay, three, two, one.”

“Yellow,” Janis says.

“Purple,” Cady says at the same time. They both smile when they hear that the other picked their favorite color. “Our first disagreement. Okay, hmm.”

“Compromise color?” Janis suggests.

“Okay,” Cady giggles. “What do you get if you mix yellow and purple?”

“Brown,” Janis says quietly after a beat. Cady scrunches her nose. “Yeah, um… what about green? That’s yellow and blue, that’s pretty close.”

“Green might be nice, but if we’re getting married in the woods everything would blend in,” Cady says. They both think on it more, and suddenly her eyes light up. “What about rainbow? This technically is a gay wedding, and then we could have every color. Everyone could pick which one they want to be. And it would make the flowers a lot easier.”

Janis smiles at her. “That does sound beautiful. I like it.”

“Good!” Cady chirps. “Look at us, communicating.”

Janis laughs and inches herself closer. “What now?”

“We should probably invite people,” Cady realizes. “Okay, who do you want as bridesmaids and… brides…men?”

“I don’t know, I think we’re going to be picking from the same group,” Janis says. “Damian, Aaron, Julie, and the Plastics?” Cady nods. “We could just… share them, I guess.”

“Do you want Damian as your best man? I’ll let you have him,” Cady says, writing down everyone’s names.

“Yes please,” Janis responds. “Who do you want as yours?”

Cady goes quiet. “Would it be dumb to pick Rhys? I know he can’t… be there, but…”

“But you love him, he’s your brother,” Janis finishes. “That’s not dumb at all, baby. We’ll do something special.”

Cady grins at her thankfully. “We’ll do something for your dad, too. What about maids of honor?”

“Juliana,” Janis says. “Mine’s pretty easy.”

“Yeah,” Cady chuckles. “Oh, I don’t want to pick between the Plastics, that’s mean.”

“You don’t have to, necessarily,” Janis says. “You could have all of them, or none of them, if you want. This wedding is already very untraditional, I don’t think anyone would be surprised if we fiddled with that part too.”

“That’s true,” Cady says thoughtfully. “All of them, then. If they want, I’ll let them choose.”

“Good plan,” Janis says. “This is easier than I thought.”

“Don’t say that, you’ll jinx us,” Cady chuckles, looking up how to book the venue and finding caterers. “I have a job I think you should handle alone, too.”

“Oh, Christ,” Janis says anxiously. “What is it?”

“The cake,” Cady says with a cheeky wink. “I trust your judgement. You’ve always liked it more than me, I think you should handle that.”

“Oh,” Janis says in relief. “Yeah, I can do that. But that means you have to handle the flowers, I’m terrible with those.”

“I can do flowers,” Cady agrees with a chuckle.

“Um…” Janis says before she trails off. Cady looks at her and raises an eyebrow. “What are we going to wear?”

“I don’t know. What do you want to wear?” Cady says, pulling up a website for inspiration.

“I want to wear a dress,” Janis says shyly. “But I also kind of… don’t.”

“Me too,” Cady hums. “We could each get a dress and then a… not-dress. Wear one to the ceremony and the other to the reception.”

Janis nods. It’ll be expensive, but they have a pretty solid budget. “That’s a good plan. Do you know Gretchen’s schedule for the next while?”

“I think she said she’s stepping back from the spring scene this year, so she might have a bit more time. I would love to wear her stuff if we can,” Cady hums. “I’ll ask her.”

“Make her let us pay her full price,” Janis insists.

“Of course,” Cady agrees. “We’ve done pretty good, today. I love you.”

“I love you more,” Janis says.

“We’re never gonna get to the end of this,” Cady chuckles. “I love you most. Speaking of, where should we go on our honeymoon? If we don’t go too crazy with the ceremony, we should have a good budget.”

Janis has actually planned out this bit. “I was thinking… Kenya?”

“Are you serious?” Cady asks excitedly. Janis can see her hands shaking. “We’re gonna go to Africa?”

“I don’t see why not,” Janis shrugs, trying to hide her own excitement and joy. “I’ve wanted to go since we met. See your animals, where you’re from. Why not now?”

Cady rockets into her with a squeal, knocking her back onto the rug. Janis wraps her arms around Cady’s back and holds her close against her, laughing at the ticklish sensation of Cady kissing her neck and cheeks over and over and over.

Eventually Cady does calm down, but makes no effort to leave Janis’ embrace. Her face is still tucked into her neck and Janis’ cheek is squished against her curls.

“I love you, Jayjay,” Cady murmurs, muffled against the column of Janis’ neck.

“I love you too, Caddy,” Janis responds, holding her tighter. “I can’t wait to marry you.” She feels a smile against her.

————-

In February, they decide it’s probably time to take everyone shopping for their wedding attire. Gretchen had agreed to designing and making their dresses and outfits, but the bridesmaids and men still need things to wear.

The Plastics all agreed to be Cady’s maids of honor, and all decided to take on different responsibilities. Gretchen’s main one is obviously to focus on designing and sewing. Regina would be handling things on the day of the wedding, and Karen is throwing Cady’s bachelorette party. Cady is a little nervous about that.

Juliana visits for Cady’s birthday, so they decide to take everyone out while she’s in town with them.

“So what color scheme have you guys picked?” Gretchen asks as their crew enters a bridal shop.

Cady and Janis lock eyes with a small grin. “All of them. We picked rainbow.”

“Aww, gay,” Damian coos.

“All of you get to pick your own color,” Cady chuckles.

“That’s a really good idea,” Regina says. “Can I be red?”

“I want orange!” Karen adds.

“Can I be yellow?” Gretchen asks shyly.

“I’ll be blue, I guess,” Aaron says.

“Dibs on purple,” Damian calls.

“Then I guess I’m green,” Julie shrugs. “That was easy.”

Janis and Cady nod confidently and lead them into the store. Aaron and Damian go first since they both get suits, which are a bit easier. Damian’s is a vibrant grape shade of purple, which suits him remarkably well. Aaron picks a sapphire one with a similar style to Damian’s. Both will be tailored to a perfect fit for them before the wedding, so their work is done.

The Plastics go next, heading to different areas of the shop to find dresses in their respective colors. Each of them come back with no fewer than five to try on. Janis slumps down slightly in her seat, realizing this is going to take a while longer than she had anticipated.

Regina eventually settles on a ruby dress with a slit up the skirt and a slight v-neck on the tight bodice. Karen’s tangerine colored dress is similar, but hers has sleeves that loop around her upper arms instead of the spaghetti strap style that Regina chose. Gretchen has a harder time deciding between her options, and eventually gives it up to a group vote. The winner is a beautiful dandelion yellow one, with a higher neckline and only one sleeve.

Juliana is the last one to venture off, and she also returns with several options. After about the tenth, they’re all starting to look rather similar to everyone. Janis goes back to the dressing room with her sister to help weed out some options. Once they’ve sorted it down to three, it’s much easier to handle.

Julie tries on all three no fewer than twice each, before eventually, finally, landing on an emerald green dress with off the shoulder sleeves. It actually looks rather similar to Cady’s dress from their senior prom, just green and with a much less poofy skirt.

“Yay,” Damian cheers happily when they’re all outfitted. Cady insists on getting a picture of all of them together in their ill-fitting outfits for the first time.

“Lookin’ good, guys!” Janis calls from behind her fiancée. “Gay as hell.” She adds under her breath. Cady flicks her gently in retaliation.

“Yes, you are,” she murmurs. “They look good, don’t be mean.”

“I wasn’t! They’re literally a rainbow, that’s gay,” Janis insists. “That’s the whole point!”

Cady kisses her to shut her up, a tactic that always works. “We have to go feed them now, come on. Pick a restaurant.”

“Sushi,” Janis says instantly. Not a restaurant, but something Cady can work with.

“Fine, only because it’s a special day,” Cady agrees. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Janis says. “This was a good idea.”

“Thanks,” Cady chuckles. “They do look good together like that.”

“You’d make a good artist,” Janis suggests. Cady chuckles in disbelief. “No, you would! You just need practice, you clearly already have an eye for colors.”

“I have a good teacher,” Cady says, tipping herself back into Janis’ embrace. “Now come on, we really do have to go.”

————-

The time continues to fly by, and it’s March before they know it. They’ve already heard back from all their family and friends, so they know who’s coming. The florists and the caterers have all been booked, along with the venues. They have Kevin G. as the DJ for the reception, which both Cady and Janis are slightly nervous about. Decorations have been purchased, and Juliana agreed to be the officiate and marry them.

All that’s left is the cake. Janis’ big job. She ordered a large sample box from a bakery nearby, since they’re back home for Julie’s birthday. Damian and Aaron came too, so they get to help.

Cady’s left every little detail up to Janis. The flavor, how it’s decorated, the size. Frankly, she’s put a remarkable amount of trust in her fiancée.

There’s a bit of conflict in the fact that Janis and Cady don’t have the same taste in sweets. Janis prefers chocolatey things, while Cady usually goes for fruity things. Janis got a sample of every flavor the bakery offers.

“Fucking hell, Jan,” is the first thing out of Damian’s mouth when he opens his front door, finding Janis with a box of cake bigger than she is. Juliana has to hold the other end so she doesn’t drop it. It doesn’t even fit on the dining room table, so they rest it on the floor in the living room and sit in a circle around it. Janis feels like they’re about to perform some strange ritual together.

She opens the box of wonders. “Okay, so over here is all the chocolate stuff. Devil’s food, death by chocolate, I think this one might actually just be a brownie. And then this is vanilla cakes, so, like, white and yellow and stuff. And then fruit. Lemon, strawberry, raspberry, I forget what this one is. And then I got carrot cake for fun.”

“In what world is carrot cake fun?” Julie asks. “I swear there’s no way we’re related.”

“Rabbits think it’s fun,” Janis retaliates. “Here’s your forks. Dig in.”

They start strong, but the cake quickly loses its charm. Once you’ve tasted nine different kinds of chocolate cake alone, it’s not quite the same.

Julie is the first to tap out, quickly followed by Aaron. They both lie on the floor in a sugar coma. Janis and Damian are determined to continue.

“I think,” Damian says after a long moment. “That this was a mistake.”

“We definitely should’ve split them up,” Janis agrees, but takes another bite. “This one is… it would be good, under normal circumstances.”

Damian is the next to go, putting his fork down in defeat and collapsing onto the ground. Janis presses on. The fruit flavors provide a nice sort of respite, and she thinks that Cady would really like the lemon.

Janis doesn’t quite make it to the carrot cake. She knows her limits, so she admits defeat and rests herself down with the rest of the group. She pulls out her phone and texts a picture of all of them to Cady.

Cady’s job for the day is to try on her outfits with Gretchen, so it takes a few minutes for a response to come through. Janis gives an involuntary groan when she remembers Cady’s contact name.

caddycakes: Oh no, lovey D: What did you guys do?

jayjay: a terrible thing

jayjay: caddy

jayjay: i have consumed entire worlds and i regret everything

caddycakes: Poor things. Why did you do them all in one?

jayjay: an alarming display of hubris

caddycakes: Ah, of course. Drink water and have protein, it’ll help the stomachache. I’ll be there soon to take care of you

jayjay: ur gonna take care of me even tho i did this to myself ??

caddycakes: Darling, we’re getting married in a month and you’re the most impulsive, clumsy person I’ve ever known. If I refused to take care of you when you’re hurt or sick just because you did it to yourself we’d both be in for a world of misery

jayjay: i love you

caddycakes: I love you too, dearest. Hang in there 📷

Janis clicks her phone off and gives herself a few minutes to recover. She’s dreading the idea of putting anything else into her body at the moment, but Cady is right. Water will help make them feel better.

After about ten minutes she manages to peel herself up from the ground and head into the kitchen. Janis still knows her way around, so she grabs four glasses and fills them with ice water for her friends.

They barely react to her return, so she carefully rests a cup in each of their hands and keeps the last for herself. Carefully, they sip at the cold liquid until their stomachs stop aching quite so much, and they can move to the couch to continue the food coma there.

“I’m getting married. I’m an adult,” Janis mumbles eventually. “What the fuck have I done? I’m nowhere near responsible enough. Look at us.”

“Caddy’s responsible enough for both of you, it’s fine,” Damian replies deliriously. Juliana and Aaron grunt in agreement.

Cady enters after another short while, letting herself in with the key she still has. “Oh no, guys. What did Jay do to you?”

“That death by chocolate stuff was literal,” Aaron complains.

“Poor things. Oh good, you have water. That’ll help a little,” Cady says. She kisses Janis on the forehead gently. “I brought antacid tabs and some nuts. They have a fair bit of protein and they’re salty, that’ll help too.”

“An angel among idiots,” Damian says thankfully, popping a few tabs and taking a handful of the offered snack. “Thank you.”

“Of course. Did you guys pick a flavor or just eat yourselves to death?” Cady giggles, handing the treatments to the rest of them as well.

“The lemon was good,” Janis murmurs.

“I didn’t make it that far,” Aaron says. “But the… the fudge one was the best that I tasted.”

“I liked the white one too,” Julie says.

“Well, that’s something, I guess,” Cady chuckles. “I hope you’ve learned something.”

“Yeah, never let Janis talk you into a dessert tasting,” Damian says. Cady laughs and runs a hand through Janis’ hair gently.

“She meant well. You just need to plan better, love,” she hums. “Can you move yet? We should get you home.”

Janis nods and pulls herself up, then helps Julie. Cady leaves another few of the tablets and the rest of the snacks for Damian and Aaron, then grabs the cake box and follows the sisters to the car.

Cady also drives them home, dropping Julie off at their house but keeping Janis for herself. Janis pouts sadly once she’s in comfy clothes and nestled in bed to recover from the day.

“Caddy?” She asks quietly after a moment.

“Hmm?” Cady hums from above her, stroking through Janis’ hair.

“Are you sure you want to marry me? I’m… I’m such an idiot, sometimes. Why do you want to be stuck with this?” Janis asks sadly.

“Whoa, darling,” Cady hushes. “What? Of course I want to marry you. Of course I’m sure. I love you.”

“But why? Look at me,” Janis whines. “You said it yourself, I’m too impulsive.”

“No, mpenzi, shh for a second,” Cady says gently. “I love you because I choose to. I fell in love with you back in high school because you’re you. And now, every day, I choose to continue. I choose to love you. I love your passion, and your heart, and your mind. I love the things you create and the way you tick. And I love how impulsive you are, even though sometimes I get frustrated. You keep things interesting. And I love you for that.”

“But do you really want to deal with me forever?”

“Where is this coming from, my love?” Cady asks in concern, gently pulling her closer and kissing her forehead. “I’m not dealing with you. I’m loving you. I’m not trying to say I’m never going to get upset with you for being impulsive, just like you know you won’t always be okay with me being so set in my ways. We’re different people, we work differently. We have different minds. But we match pretty well, right?”

Janis nods and cuddles closer, but doesn’t say anything.

“I love you exactly as you are, wild decisions and all. We’ll work through stuff as it comes, but don’t think for a second that I’m ever going to stop loving you. I love the impulsivity because it’s part of you, and I love you,” Cady concludes. “And I hope you’re feeling better, because I’ve already used up a good chunk of my vows here and I still need material for the real ones.”

Janis chuckles into her chest and nods. “I’m better. I love you too. Even though you can be a stick in the mud sometimes.”

“I never understood that phrase,” Cady mumbles. “Like, if the stick is in the way of you having fun in the mud then just… pick it up and put it somewhere else.”

“I don’t think that’s what it means,” Janis chuckles. “But that is a good way to think of it. Does this mean I can pick you up and drag you out to do fun stuff?”

“You can always pick me up,” Cady chuckles, braiding little strands of Janis’ hair together. “And yes, you can sometimes make me do fun things. But I can also be the stick and stop you if you want to do something dangerous or dumb.”

“My ideas are always good,” Janis says defensively.

“Darling, you had the equivalent of about three whole cakes in one afternoon and dragged our friends down with you, sometimes your ideas aren’t great,” Cady says gently.

“Exactly. It was a great idea in theory to get it all out of the way, but it wasn’t good in practice,” Janis says.

“You should be a lawyer, you’re very good at arguing,” Cady says lovingly.

“No way, I’m done with school, thank you very much,” Janis replies.

“You’re a teacher.”

“Shhh. Quiet time.”

“Okay,” Cady giggles, kissing her forehead and drifting off for a nap alongside her fiancée.

————-

The week before the big day, both of their bachelorette parties are thrown. Cady goes off with the Plastics, while Janis gets to spend the night with Damian and Aaron.

Karen is throwing Cady’s, and she’s a little worried that her friend is going to do something crazy. She’s pleasantly surprised to find it’s just the four of them, a lot of alcohol and food, and what looks to be a spa night.

“Aww, Karen! This looks so fun, thank you!” Cady says excitedly.

“You’re welcome! Bride emoji, balloon emoji. I wanted to do something bigger, but I don’t think you would’ve liked that. So, we get to do face masks and watch movies!” Karen says.

“Yeah, this is perfect. I love it,” Cady says.

Janis shows up to Damian and Aaron’s apartment, slightly nervous about what she’ll find. Damian lets her in, and she’s pleasantly surprised to find a painting set up and a fair bit of food and booze.

“Aww, Dame,” Janis says happily. “This is great! What are we doing?”

“Getting fucked up and painting stuff,” Damian replies. Aaron comes out from the kitchen with a tray of even more snacks. “And eating. And then maybe we’ll watch movies, I don’t know yet.”

Janis hugs him tightly. “This is perfect.”

“I know,” Damian jokes. “Let’s get going, you’ll have to teach us your painting extraordinaire ways.”

“I’ll try,” Janis chuckles.

————-

Cady is squished in between Gretchen and Karen on their small couch, soaking her feet in a fancy foot bath and watching Legally Blonde. Suddenly, her phone starts ringing with a Facetime call.

“Damian? What’s up?” She asks confusedly when his face pops into view.

“Um… Janis is kind of… drunk,” he says anxiously. “And crying. Can you talk to her?”

“Oh no,” Cady pouts. “Of course I’ll talk to her, where is she?” The camera flips to show Janis curled up on the ground, weeping into her knees while Aaron awkwardly tries to comfort her. Cady dries her feet off and heads into the bathroom for a bit more privacy. “Poor thing, what happened?”

“Jan, it’s Caddy,” Damian says gently, offering her the phone. “Tell her what happened.”

Janis sobs a couple times before bursting out with a very slurred sentence. “Was-was tryin’ to paint you,” she says miserably. “B-but m’ hand wouldn’ workin’. ‘N then I for-forgot what you look-look like! ‘M gonna be a terrible wife!”

“No, darling, no,” Cady says. “Love, you’re drunk. That’s why your hand wasn’t working. And it’s okay that you forgot what I look like. Again, you’re drunk, and faces are hard to memorize. It doesn’t mean you don’t love me, it’s okay.”

“You-you’re not mad?” Janis asks shyly. Her bottom lip is still jutted out sadly, but she’s not crying quite so hard anymore.

“Of course I’m not mad,” Cady says. “I think it’s so sweet that you were even trying to paint me from memory. How much have you had to drink, mpendwa?”

“Um… six.” Janis says, which explains very little.

“Six?” Damian exclaims in shock from off camera. “Jan, that was vodka, you did six shots? Jesus Christ, no wonder you’re so drunk!”

“‘M not drunk,” Janis insists. “Th’ room’s just spinny.”

“Because you’re drunk, Janis,” Aaron explains. “Let me go get you some water.”

“‘M not drunk!” Janis says again. “Was just little cups. Little baby drinks. Why ‘m I on the floor?”

“Jellybean, those were shots, and you did a lot,” Cady says. “Do what Damian and Aaron tell you to, okay? They’ll help you feel better.”

“Not th’ boss ‘f me,” Janis pouts. Cady tries to hold back a laugh. Janis is cute when she’s drunk, but Cady is glad she doesn’t have to encounter it too often.

“They are for tonight, then I’ll help with your hangover tomorrow,” Cady says. “Behave, or no cuddles.”

“No cuddles?” Janis asks in shock, and her lower lip starts trembling again. Cady mutes herself for a second to give an exasperated sigh.

“Less cuddles. I’ll cuddle you a little bit. But if you listen and actually do what they tell you to, you’ll get more cuddles,” she says. It’s all in the phrasing.

“Oh. Mmkay,” Janis says, suddenly sounding much happier. Cady sighs in relief when she sees her chug down the water. “Caddy, I miss you.”

“I miss you too, Bluejay. I’ll see you tomorrow,” Cady says. “Keep drinking water.”

Janis suddenly sits upright and stares at the screen for a second. “Caddy, I can see you.”

“I know,” Cady chuckles. “I can see you too.”

“No, I can see you! Stay,” Janis says. “Can paint you now.”

“Jellybean, I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Cady says gently. “You should be resting. Why don’t you watch a movie with Damian and Aaron?”

Janis pouts. “But you’re not here. How ‘m I s’posed to watch movie with no Caddy?”

Cady grins at her. “I love you. Why don’t you take tonight to watch all your favorite scary movies? I’m sure we’ll be able to watch some other happy ones together tomorrow.”

“Mmkay,” Janis whines. “You’re so pretty.”

“Thank you, darling,” Cady chuckles. “You’re very pretty too. Go get comfy.”

Janis picks herself up from the ground and heads to the couch, cuddling in with a blanket. Damian sits next to her, and Aaron sits on his other side.

“There. Keep hydrated, mpendwa. I’ll see you tomorrow. I love you,” Cady says. Janis pouts when she says goodbye.

“I love you, Caddy,” she says. “G’night.”

Cady blows her kisses and hangs up before heading back to her friends.

“Everything good?” Regina asks, looking up from her phone.

“Janis got drunk and started crying because she couldn’t remember what I look like,” Cady sighs. “Give me something, I need a drink too.”

Gretchen helpfully pours her a shot of their favorite bubblegum schnapps, and Cady downs it like it’s nothing.

“Thank you. Now I really do need this spa, thanks Karen,” Cady says, settling back into her spot.

Janis comes stumbling into their apartment around noon the next day. Cady woke up with a slight hangover, but was right as rain after a few painkillers and some water. Janis doesn’t seem to be faring quite as well.

“Hey, love,” Cady says quietly as Janis takes her sunglasses off. Janis still winces at the volume. “Poor thing. Did you take anything?”

Janis shakes her head. “Did I call you yesterday?”

“Damian did for you, you were pretty upset,” Cady replies as she grabs some more medicine to help Janis’ hangover. “And drunk, so I’m not surprised you don’t remember.”

“I have no idea what happened, I remember trying to paint… you, I think, and then I have a vague memory of watching The Shining, and then I woke up with a hangover,” Janis mumbles, swallowing the pills and downing the water.

“You said you did six shots of vodka, but I don’t know if you had anything else,” Cady chuckles gently. “But yes, you did try to paint me. And I don’t think it went particularly well.”

“I’m not surprised. I haven’t been that drunk since… ever,” Janis says. She refills her own water cup and heads to lie on their small couch, kissing Cady on her way. Cady follows and lifts Janis’ feet onto her lap.

“Why did you drink so much?” Cady asks quietly. “Is everything okay?”

“I’m not planning on doing it again, if that’s what you’re worried about,” Janis jokes. Cady gives her a look. “I know. I don’t know why I did it.”

“You still want to do this?” Cady asks. Janis snaps her head up to look at her.

“What? The wedding?” She asks. Cady nods with a hint of sadness. “Baby, of course. I’ve been looking forward to it for, like, a year. Minimum. We’re gonna be wives next week, I’m so excited.”

“Are you sure?” Cady asks. “I’ve been thinking about… me, I guess. Are you sure you want me, forever? You don’t want someone more… like you? Brave and fun and cool?”

“What? Peanut,” Janis pouts, hauling herself upright with a great deal of effort and pulling her fiancée into a cuddle. “Of course I want you. I want you as long as you’ll have me. I don’t need another me, I need you. I love you. I love your random bits of knowledge that I’ll never understand and that you’re always so worried whenever I get another stupid idea.”

“But I’m so… plain. You dye your hair wacky colors and then cut it off and paint all your clothes yourself and make art and do… cool stuff. I do calculus for fun and go to bed by ten,” Cady says. “I’m so boring.”

Janis lies back down to cuddle Cady on top of her. “You’re not boring, Butterfly. You could never be boring. You’re from Africa, for crying out loud. You tell the best stories, and you help me understand things that don’t make sense. I wouldn’t have gotten through high school or college without you. And I need someone to balance me out, you know? Keep me on a leash when I get some crazy dangerous idea. I love you as you are. You’re perfect.”

Cady nuzzles into her neck. “I love you.”

“I love you too, baby. It’s like you said after the Cake Incident. We’re different people, we work differently. But we work together. We work because we balance each other out,” Janis says. “I need my Caddy.”

“I need my Jayjay,” Cady says, propping herself back up and leaning down to kiss her. Janis rests a hand on the back of her head to keep her close for a long moment. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Man, you took up a lot of my vows, too,” Janis says with a chuckle. “Now you have to cuddle me for the rest of the day, I’m sick.”

“You’re hungover,” Cady retaliates.

“Same difference. You said you’d take care of me,” Janis pouts.

“Always,” Cady whispers.

————-

They fly home to Illinois the next day, both feeling much better. They’ve decided to spend the rest of the week apart, to make their wedding that much more special. Neither of them is particularly looking forward to their separation, but they know it’ll be worth it.

Their friends and family follow them to Illinois over the next few days while Cady and Janis run around town making sure everything is in order. The venue is perfect, Janis managed to get the cake in order, and everything else was handled months in advance. Julie gives them both a practice version of her speech, which they love. For a barely-seventeen year old, Juliana is an excellent writer.

Janis lies awake in her childhood bedroom the night before their big day. She feels almost the way she did the night before an exciting school trip as a child. But better.

She flips onto her other side and looks at the glowing green numbers on her clock. One in the morning. What to do? She’s already not used to sleeping without Cady by her side, and now with the added excitement that comes with tomorrow, Janis may never sleep again.

She only has to think for about two minutes before she makes her decision, rolling out of bed and tugging on some shoes before sneaking out her front door.

Janis zones out a bit on her way to Cady’s house, snapping back to attention when she almost walks past it. She grins to herself as she starts climbing up the same tree she used to climb to get to her girl’s window in high school.

She’s surprised to find Cady already there, sitting on the desk chair she’s pulled over and peering out the window. Cady jumps a little but grins widely as Janis’ face suddenly pops up on the other side.

“I was hoping you would come,” she whispers as she pulls the window open to haul Janis in.

“Couldn’t sleep?” Janis asks once she’s safely inside, closing the window quietly behind her. Cady shakes her head. “I couldn’t either.”

Cady reaches for her, so Janis comes to pull her in for a kiss. They still try to hold back a little bit, to keep something special for tomorrow, but neither can resist the taste and feeling of their love.

They jump apart when a massive crack of thunder booms outside. Cady peeks around Janis to find rain slamming against her window. She grins to herself and takes Janis’ hand, hauling them towards the door.

“Where are we going?” Janis asks in confusion. Cady isn’t a big fan of storms, maybe she’s taking them to hide. Instead, Cady tiptoes them to the back door and slides it open, running into the backyard in her pajamas and bare feet. “Peanut, what are you doing?!”

Cady spins around with her arms far out to her sides like the opening to The Sound of Music, the rain soaking her to the bone. She reaches for Janis, who toes off her shoes and tentatively goes to join her fiancée.

“You’re insane,” Janis says when she reaches her. “What are we doing?”

“Dance with me,” Cady says, reaching for her. Janis comes to her embrace confusedly, holding onto Cady’s waist while she grabs Janis’ neck. They’re only illuminated by the distant streetlights and occasional flash of lightning, and waltzing to the music of the thunder.

Janis thinks she understands after a while. They’re both totally soaked, their clothes dripping and hair clinging to their shoulders. But as she’s held close to her love and staring into her eyes, she feels warmer and safer than she ever has before.

“I love you,” Janis murmurs against Cady’s lips, kissing her tenderly as the raindrops mingle on their cheeks.

“I love you too,” Cady says back. “I can’t wait to marry you.”

Janis smiles against her and scoops her up. Cady squeals in surprise and clings to her tightly as Janis spins them around a few times. Janis tips her face up to see her, and Cady presses their foreheads together to stare into her eyes.

They stay like that for a while, lost in each other while the weather roars around them. After a while, Janis pipes up. “What if it rains tomorrow?”

“Then we’ll dance in it again,” Cady says. “We’ll still be married. We’ll still be with everyone we love. It’ll still be a good day.”

Janis wonders how she found someone so perfect. Little does she know, Cady is wondering the same. They lean in for another kiss at the same time. Janis rests Cady on her feet again and cups her face, while her fiancée holds her waist and inches closer.

“We should-should go in,” Cady says around chattering teeth after a long moment of bliss. “It’s cold out here.”

Janis picks her back up and carries her towards the door. “I’ll keep you warm.”

“You always do,” Cady whispers contently.

She fetches them some towels and clean pajamas and puts their old ones in the dryer. Janis follows her into bed, curling around her in their familiar way. Cady cuddles in close and inhales her comforting scent, this time getting hints of the rain they were just in.

They both drift off with a smile when they remember that this is their new forever, and their last night as just fiancées.

Janis wakes up early and sneaks back to her own house, but gets instantly busted by Julie when she comes down for breakfast.

“How was she?” Julie asks.

“What?” Janis asks with mock confusion. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Those aren’t your pajamas, and you definitely didn’t have them on last night. How is Cady?” Juliana insists.

“She’s fine,” Janis says meekly. “You should be a detective.”

“She’s, like, half your size. I don’t have to be a detective to see those pajamas clearly aren’t yours,” Julie says with a chuckle. “Come eat, stupid, it’s your big day.”

“Julie,” their mother chides as she comes down the stairs to join them for breakfast. “How was Cady, baby girl?”

“You too?” Janis asks.

“You’re not exactly sneaky, honey,” their mom chuckles. “I heard you leave. There’s only one place you would’ve gone. Nice pajamas, by the way.”

Janis groans and smacks her head on the table.

————-

Cady starts pacing once Regina finishes her hair and makeup. She looks killer, she has to admit, but the nerves are starting to set in.

“Cades, chill. Talk to me, what’s going on?” Regina says cooly, helping fix a stray curl of Gretchen’s.

“What if… what if she lied? Or she gets up there and realizes she doesn’t want me after all?” Cady says anxiously, drumming her hands against her crossed arms.

“Cady, have you seen the way she looks at you? The way you are together?” Gretchen asks gently. “She’s still head over heels for you.”

“But… but what if-“ Cady tries, this time getting cut off by Karen.

“Cady, listen for a second,” Karen says, remarkably soothingly. Cady calms enough that she stops pacing for a second. “If this wasn’t happening. If you weren’t getting married today, would you have any doubt that Janis loves you, like, a lot? If this was just another day together for you. Would you be this scared?”

“No,” Cady admits.

“It’s just because this is, like, a symbol of permanence or whatever,” Karen shrugs. “You love each other, but this is still kind of a big adjustment for you. It’s okay that you are, but you shouldn’t be scared.”

Cady blinks as she tries to process the words of wisdom from Karen. “I-yeah, okay. Thanks, Karen.”

“You’re welcome! Now come get dressed,” Karen insists happily, brandishing Cady’s outfit for the ceremony.

Cady takes it happily and pulls it on.

—————

Janis is also panicking in another room a little ways away. Damian is chasing her around with his makeup brushes, trying to finish his masterpiece.

“Janjan, at least stop moving,” he begs.

“There’s no point to the makeup because… there’s… I don’t even know! I can’t do it,” Janis says anxiously.

Damian collapses onto the chair formerly occupied by Janis for a break. “Why?”

“What?”

“Why?” Damian repeats. “Why do you think you can’t do it?”

“Because… because she deserves better,” Janis says. “Someone better.”

“But what does she want?” Damian asks. They’ve had this conversation several times since Cady and Janis got together. “Jan. What does Caddy want?”

“Me,” Janis whispers after a beat. “But-“

“Ah! Ah-ah-ah.” Damian interrupts. “What do you want most for Caddy?”

“For her to be happy,” Janis says immediately.

“And who makes her happy?” Damian prompts.

“Me,” Janis admits with a pout.

“Exactly. You are what she deserves. You are her ‘better’. You’re her best, because you both deserve happiness, and that’s what you give each other,” Damian says quietly. “Today is just supposed to celebrate your love. Now sit your ass down so I can make you pretty.”

Janis pouts harder, but does sit back down in her seat and let Damian finish his work.

————-

An hour later, it’s finally time. Damian heads down first, scattering flower petals down the cloth they’re using for an aisle. Everyone chuckles as he does it in his typically dramatic fashion, adding a personal flair to every handful tossed.

He comes back and grabs Aaron, and they head down together, followed by Julie and Gretchen, and then Karen and Regina. Julie runs back down as well, walking Janis down the aisle along with their mom.

Janis grins slightly as she passes the front row and sees the framed photo of her dad next to another framed picture of Cady’s brother, side by side in the empty seats. There’s a rainbow sash draped over each picture frame, to include them both in the ceremony as they should’ve been.

Janis kisses her mom on the cheek as she stands at the altar, and grins at Julie as she heads behind it to prepare. She’s adjusting her white blazer when the music suddenly kicks off again, and she looks down to see Cady coming down the aisle with her parents.

They’re leaving the dresses for the reception since Gretchen had practically begged them to. The dresses took much more time to design and construct, so she wanted them to get as much wear out of them as possible.

But Cady looks absolutely stunning in her tight white pants and top, complete with a cape that accentuates her shoulders. There’s a positively radiant smile on her face as she makes her way to Janis. Cady hugs her parents tightly as they reach the end of the aisle, before coming to stand in front of her fiancée. They join hands instinctively, giving each other little squeezes.

They’re absolutely lost in each other as Julie begins, staring into each other’s eyes and barely hearing the words being spoken and reactions from the crowd. They also miss the prompt to begin their vows. Cady jumps in surprise when Gretchen pokes her in the back and hands over the ring.

Cady takes the ring with her shaky hands and rests it on the tip of Janis’ finger so she doesn’t drop it, pulling some note cards out of her pocket with her other hand. She clears her throat quickly and begins her vows.

“Janis,” Cady says, squeezing Janis’ hands. “My darling, my Bluejay, my love. When you found me in the bathroom all those years ago, I could’ve never imagined that we’d be here today. But I couldn’t be happier that we are.”

Janis squeezes her back and tries to resist the urge to kiss her before they’re allowed to. Cady takes a deep breath as the tears start flowing and continues.

“One of the last big speeches I made was our junior year Spring Fling. That was… a big day for both of us, but anyway. In that speech, I equated our entire graduating class to stars. I stand by it, but I’ve realized something since then. If everyone is a star, then you are my North Star. You’re the one that shines the brightest, and the one I can always count on to be there. But most importantly, you are the star that guides me home. I just have to follow you, and I’m right where I need to be. You are my home. I promise to love you, always. I promise to help you shine when you feel like you can’t, and to guide you home when you feel lost. We’ll be each other’s brightest star. I love you, more than all the stars in the sky.”

Janis sniffles a few times as Cady slides the rest of the ring on and repeats after Julie, processing the most beautiful words she’s ever heard. It’s her turn then, which she’s violently reminded of when Damian jabs her in the back. She straightens abruptly and pulls out her own cards. Janis re-wrote her vows this morning and quite literally ran them by Damian for a proofread, so she’s desperately hoping they’re suitable.

“Cady,” Janis begins. “That’s the first and last time I’m ever going to pronounce your name correctly, so I hope you enjoyed it.”

Cady chuckles thickly around her tears and squeezes her hands. Janis takes a deep breath and continues, trying to keep the shake from her voice.

“I want to take this time to thank you. For loving me even when I eat too much cake, or get drunk and call you in tears because I can’t work out how to paint you. I want to thank you for being my sunshine. For teaching me how to dance in the rain, and for showing me how good it can be. For showing me what it means to be loved, and letting me know how to love you in return. You light up even my stormiest days, by just being there to weather them out with me. You are the only sunshine I’ll ever need, and I promise to return the favor. I can’t promise I’ll be able to help you through everything we’ll ever go through, but I can promise to love you through everything. I promise to be the light when you feel you can’t show yours, and to help you dance in the rain when the clouds won’t part. I love you more than anything under the sun.”

Cady lets out a choked sob as she finishes, and they both quickly fumble through getting her wedding ring on. Julie coaches them through the other vows and ‘I do’s’ and then says the magic words.

“By the power vested in me by an online class I took in ten minutes, I now pronounce you wives. You can kiss,” Julie says, mumbling an “If you must.” Under her breath afterwards.

Cady practically lunges for her, grabbing Janis’ face and pulling her into the most important kiss they’ll ever share. They both pour all the emotions they’re feeling into it, but break apart after just a few seconds to keep things chaste for their families. Janis smiles wider than she ever has before and rests their foreheads together.

“Hi wife,” she whispers contently, glad to finally be rid of the dreaded fiancée title. Cady grins back at her and wraps her arms around her neck.

“Hi wife,” she says back. “We gotta go.”

Janis is snapped back to reality at that, remembering they’re not alone. She grabs Cady’s hand and leads them back down the aisle, together this time. Once they reach the end of it, Cady leaps into her arms. Janis catches her and spins them around joyfully.

“Janis, you’re my wife,” Cady whispers once the dizzying sensation fades.

“And you’re my wife,” Janis says back. “You look so beautiful.”

“So do you,” Cady says. “I can’t wait to see your dress.”

“Then let’s go,” Janis murmurs, kissing her gently and carrying her wife away.

————-

Their moms each help them put their dresses on, since they take just a bit of wiggling. Cady’s is short sleeved, with a tight bodice and a poofy skirt. The top layer is lace, with rainbow flowers around her neckline that fade out into the white around her waist. She feels like a princess.

Janis’ has long lace sleeves, and the whole thing is more uniform. Her skirt is flowy more than poofy, and her rainbow gradient goes the opposite way. She looks like she’s been walking through rainbow flower petals that gradually fade into the white of her dress as you look up. She feels like a fairy.

They decide to do a ‘first look’ now, in their dresses and technically officially married. Each of them hides behind a tree and pops out when Regina, their photographer yet again, gives them the cue.

Cady gasps when she sees her wife and reaches for her eagerly. Janis shuffles over and lets Cady pull her in.

“You’re so beautiful,” Cady murmurs. “Look at you, my love. How did I get so lucky?”

Janis blushes violently and leans down to kiss her. “You look incredible. And you got your swishy skirt.”

“I know, lookit!” Cady says happily, taking a step back and shaking her hips to show off the excellent swish. Janis chuckles lovingly and snatches her back in.

“You’re adorable. Should we go?” Janis asks, kissing Cady’s nose. She distantly registers a flash from the camera.

“Do we have to?” Cady whines quietly. “Can’t I just be alone with my wife?”

Janis grins. “Later. Don’t you want to see if the cake was worth it?”

Cady perks up a little bit at that. “Oh, yeah! Okay, yeah, let’s go.”

————-

Kevin announces their arrival at the reception, which is happening in exactly the same place at the ceremony but with a new massive tent put up to keep away bugs. Surprisingly, Kevin is doing an excellent job. They gave him the rule of ‘no original material’ which has kept them mostly safe. He’s honestly not a bad DJ.

Janis and Cady enter hand in hand to the cheers of their friends and family and head to the floor for their first dance. They chose Tale as Old as Time from Beauty and the Beast, the first song they ever danced to together as a couple way back in high school.

They sway gently around and stare into each other’s eyes. Janis notices Cady whispering things under her breath as they move.

“What are you saying?” She murmurs gently against Cady’s lips.

“I love you,” Cady whispers back. “In all the languages I know. And the ones I don’t.”

Janis smiles at her. “I love you so much. In all the languages I speak.”

“All two?” Cady chuckles. Janis nods.

“And the rest that I don’t. I love you more than any language could say,” Janis murmurs.

“Stop trying to be cuter than me, it’s working too well,” Cady whines. Janis chuckles.

“I’m not trying to, it’s just happening,” she whispers. Cady rolls her eyes but presses in for another kiss. The song comes to an end and they begrudgingly break apart for their parent dances. Janis dances with her mom and sister while Cady dances with her parents. Janis looks almost longingly at the photos of her dad and Rhys. She and Cady wish their whole families could’ve been present, but they’ve definitely felt them around all day.

After the dances it’s time for cake, Janis’ other big reveal. Cady looks very impressed with what she managed to put together. Even after The Incident, Janis went with three tiers. Lemon on the bottom, chocolate fudge cake in the middle, and white on the top. Janis refused to allow fondant anywhere near it, so the cake is covered in white buttercream and has a rainbow of frosting flowers spiraling up the sides diagonally.

Cady pouts when they have to cut into its beauty. They carefully cut out a piece and grab the forks, feeding each other the first bite. They both independently decide to try to smear the first one on each other’s face, but both laugh and actually taste it with the second.

Cady tenderly wipes some stray frosting off of Janis’ cheek and pulls her in for yet another kiss as the party goes on around them. “Today was perfect.”

Janis nods in agreement, kissing her back gently. “It was. I love you, wifey.”

“I love you too, wifey,” Cady giggles. “So much.”

They chat lightly with their guests for a while as everyone dances and celebrates, until Janis notices Cady slip out of the tent alone. Obviously Janis follows.

It’s sprinkling lightly, just barely a drizzle. Cady stands in the center of the clearing and looks up to the sky. Janis gently comes up to hug her from behind so she doesn’t startle her wife.

“Whatcha doing?” She murmurs, kissing up and down Cady’s neck gently. Cady gives a happy shudder and leans back into her.

“Checking for that,” Cady replies, pointing to the sky. Janis is confused until she looks up and sees a rainbow stretching across the sky. “And I needed a minute.”

“There’s two,” Janis realizes after looking for a second. “Look above it.”

“How fitting,” Cady breathes happily, observing the faint second rainbow just barely visible. “Thanks, nature.”

Janis chuckles and kisses her cheek. Cady turns around to face her, resting her head against Janis’ shoulder and starting to dance.

“I said we’d dance in the rain again, now we have to,” she whispers. Janis sways them back and forth as gently as she can, knowing Gretchen would have to be restrained from homicide if they got the dresses muddy. “Your vows were so beautiful.”

“So were yours, did you not see me crying?” Janis giggles. “I wrote mine this morning.”

“Really?” Cady asks, pulling back to see her. “I thought you said you already had them.”

“I did, I wrote them again. After last night in the storm,” Janis says lowly. “Everything just fell into place.”

“It did. I love you,” Cady murmurs. Janis bends down to kiss her.

“I love you too,” she says when they pull back for a second. They lean in again, before Damian throws the door to the tent open to look for them.

“Stop being cute and romantic in private, it’s time for speeches,” he insists. “And watch the dresses, princesses.”

“Okay, okay,” Cady chuckles, letting him haul them both back to their loved ones.

Regina actually goes first, giving a beautiful speech about their journey together and the things they’ve all been through, with a good smattering of jokes peppered throughout. Julie goes next and tells a story of a time when she and Janis were much younger and Janis used to sleepwalk. Julie had, evidently, woken up one night to find her sister wandering around her room and occasionally staring at her. Janis flushes in embarrassment, and then groans when she realizes that Damian is up next.

He goes on for a while, but he’s such an entertaining storyteller that nobody minds. Damian first tells the story of the time Janis accidentally broke his nose in middle school with one punch, which makes Cady look at her with raised eyebrows. Janis knows she’s going to have to tell her more of the story later. Then, Damian moves on to the story of how they rescued Cady and forcibly led her to join their little duo and become the perfect gay-fecta.

He closes with, “I’ve said for years that I’m too gay to function, so I’d never thought I’d love two women so much. Caddy, Janjan, congratulations. And remember the intervention.”

The ending is a little ominous, but Cady and Janis both laugh and clap for him as he steps away from the microphone.

The reception continues well into the night, and it’s nearly four in the morning by the time they help each other out of their dresses and fall into bed. Cady cuddles into her wife and stares at the rings adorning their intertwined hands.

Janis relaxes against her and nuzzles in, both of them sighing contently as they have their first married snuggle.

Until Janis suddenly sits bolt upright with wide eyes, startling Cady. “What’s the matter?”

“I’m Josh,” Janis says. “My initials.”

Cady is confused, but then she thinks of Janis’ initials. Janis Olivia Sarkisian-Heron does in fact spell Josh. Cady bursts out laughing as Janis cuddles into her with a whine.

“My poor sweet wife,” Cady giggles hysterically. “You agreed to the name.”

“I didn’t think! I didn’t know it would make me a Josh,” Janis moans.

“Do you want to change it?” Cady says, stroking through Janis’ dark hair and twisting little bits together. Janis shakes her head.

“I can live with it,” Janis sighs. “I like it. It’s our name.”

“I like it too. I’m Cady Jane Sarkisian-Heron now,” Cady replies.

“And someday soon you’ll be Doctor Cady Jane Heron and I get to be your trophy wife,” Janis says happily. Cady bursts into laughter again.

“Wouldn’t I be Doctor Sarkisian-Heron?” She asks once she calms down a bit.

“If you really want to, but I am absolutely not going through all the schooling to get a PhD in math,” Janis says. “The Sarkisian part of you has nothing to do with it. I’m just here for moral support.”

“That’s a good point,” Cady admits. “We should sleep, we have a flight tomorrow.”

“To Africaaaaaaa,” Janis replies, stretching the end as long as she can. Cady giggles and cuddles her closer.

“You’re a goof. I love you,” she whispers, tipping them onto their sides and resting her forehead against her wife’s. Janis pouts at the lack of kisses, so Cady peppers a few on her lips until she’s satisfied.

“I love you too,” Janis murmurs back. “Goodnight wife.”

“Goodnight Josh.”

“Hey!”

hope you enjoyed!

request status is still the same, but I am making progress and hope to have them re-opened soon.

thanks for reading!

lots of love,

ezzy

#cadnis #paint by numbers #space safari #cady heron x janis sarkisian #cady x janis #cady heron #janis sarkisian #damian hubbard #aaron samuels #regina george #gretchen wieners #karen smith #mean girls #mean girls broadway #mean girls musical

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jalebi-weds-bluetooth · 4 years

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Ishqbaaz Liveblog, E4: Anyone Between 40-59 is Shit

Previously: E3 “A really good premise”

Welcome! My liveblogging continues. Check out @australian-desi and @tellywoodtrash for more IB liveblogs (if you’re interested in this, TTji is my ultimate guru to lb-ing)!

So far I’m waiting and seeing if IB will break Kasautii Zindagi Kii 2, cause KZK2′s plot and non annoyance meter stood firm till 5 episodes. Until new Prerna decided to mega sacrifice herself and marriage a CREEP to save her family’s home. I noped out of that so hard after Prerna’s decision.

And so far I’m pleasantly surprised by IB, and genuinely enjoying it plot-wise.

Here’s the end of my yapping, now enjoy the liveblog!

Episode 4: “Anyone Between 40-59 is Shit”

- Deva Shree Ganesha continues. Till now Nakuul’s chin level is steady (later in the show his nose is permanently in the air - as noted by @ridzmystique)

- Burning Man continues, literally.

- Ganesh Ji also getting nice footage.

- Where is the thunder in the bg music coming from?

- Why ISN’T ANYONE DOING ANYTHING TO STOP THE FIRE? AH SHAKTI nearly went but was stopped by Tej.

- Tej doing damage control. Ofc, classic Tej. Dramatic shot continues, Tej is dramatic AF.

- HEY WE DIDN’T SEE MUCH OF THE OBROS TRYING TO SAVE BURNING MAN. But we must assume cause Shivaay is a bit burnt.

- Shivaay hurt his hand too? Shivaay, are we connecting too? Why? (My hand is hurt too)

- Ah, their first factory was burned but Dadaji decided to save the people instead of inventory #dadajirocks

- Shivaay taking the full pressure of things, as usual. Oh, Nakuul is acting really well in this scene - what do they do with him later?

- Poor Dadiji, she’s so sad - she’ll get a heart attack one day.

- Good vaada to take from older brother, make sure bhaichara remains between all of them.

- Sometimes it is so important to not be like your parents, if your parents are shitty.

- Oh the Mandir is BEAUTIFUL.

- DRAMATC TEJ APPEARS.

- WTF ACQUIRING LAND BY FORCING THE FARMERS? Tej must like what crap the government is pulling right now. #farmersprotest (please check it out and give it the support and awareness it deserves)

- Good, thank God Shakti has some sense. Oh, a flawed man with a conscience - I really like Shakti, he’s very layered.

- Tej is dramatic AF, Shakti is frickkin layered. These two bros are playing well against each other.

- WHO? DADI AND HER TWO SONS FACE OFF.

- YAY THIS POOL IS DEEPER THAN 1 FOOT! (Imagines Arnav swimming through this *cough*)

OK STOP DISTRACTING ME GUYS, LET’S FOCUS ON THE SHOW.

ISS PY

ISHQBAAZ

WHERE THERE’S A POOL

AND NO OTHER THOUGHTS

YOU KNOW WHY I GOT DIVERTED, BECAUSE OF YOU GUYS, YES

ANYWAYS,

- Shivaay… wondering about family name even though someone died?

- You know, what I like about this convo is that both Om and Shivaay are right in their positions.

- Om: worried that a person died, Shivaay: reputation matters

- Damn it, this was a good conversation.

- Ah Rudy. I LOVE LOVE LOVE HOW THEY USED THE BABY BROTHER TO BREAK THE TENSION. The great thing of Rudy not smiling is that you know shit has hit the fan when that happened.

- I don’t like how they’re treating Guggi - the way they tried to make her ‘comedic’ because she doesn’t fit the standard of beauty. I DO NOT like this.

- FINALLY DADI! Finally have a word with your sons.

- Just ignoring Pinky. Jhanvi, I Stan you as always.

- Ah Rudy, I LOVE HOW SHIVAAY AND OM CALMED AND THE CRACKS HEALED BECAUSE OF RUDY BEING THEIR BABY.

- HAHAHAH! Shivaay yelled Om for hitting Rudra by showing Rudy how to hit better!

- HAHAHAH THEY’RE MAKING RAJNIKANTH OUT OF SHIVAAY! I LOVED how in one scene, without too much, showed how Rudy is the glue between two brothers who love each other but are ideologically different (and a difference that can cause a crack if not healed at the right time)

- DADI BRINGIN IN THE KASAM to make sure her two fishy sons tell the truth. Shakti told half truth, smart. WHY IS DADI SMILING?

- OK dadi your sons have a LOT of issues, your sanskaar totes failed.

- Okay, Anjali has transformed to Sahil (I guess that’s the kid’s name). Do we need to be orphans and have a limping sibling to be a television lead? (Taking a hockey stick and heading to my brother)

- Why is the landlady and constables standing in filmy line too?

- UFF THIS LANDLADY KA OVERACTING - OH WAIT SHE’S ACTUALLY ANIKA’S BUAJI BUAJI - DAMN WTF IS SHE. THIS BUAJI IS OVERACTING LIKE SHIT.

- Totally not interested in this character.

- Dude Anika is anaath, isme tera kya jaata hai?

- Yes Anika, kill her.

- Woah who’s manhandling Anika?

- THAT IS A FINE ACTRESS, please don’t make her do a shitty role. WTF? POLICE VIOLENCE.

- Phirse gaana? These three bros should have an album after their name. In case their other businesses fail, this one should keep things floating :D *did I foresee something in this sentence, I might’ve*

- I would call thing cringy, if I didn’t do the same shit with my bro. We’re dramatic AF too, dancing to random songs all the time.

- The police waali has personal vendetta against Anika. Why?

- Ok, almost every 40-50s person in this show is terrible.

- Ok how is this terrible Buaji and the police waali connected? Is this police person a relative or something to Buaji?

- Ok I love the kid, I love how much he loves Anika.

- Ok, we have reason why Anika should be removed from this situation asap (already murdering Shivaay for the future marriage condition).

So it is interesting and I’m eager to see what all tropes would happen when Shivaay and Anika meet. In her words, I have very low tolerance for michimichi! For example: I (largely) hate the swami track, post marriage comedy, sheetal track, when Khushi gives ‘gyaan’ to either Lavanya or Arnav about marriage or anything and all that in IPK.

But I’m also waiting to listen to O Jaana and see the staring, wind and all cause I’m a wee bit sucker for those.

So goodnight and see you tomorrow!

- S

Next up: E5 “Devi Maiyya working overtime for Shivika to happen”

#ib #ishqbaaz liveblog #ishqbaaz #ib liveblog #jalebi watches something else #tere liye ttji

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aion-rsa · 3 years

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The Best Korean Dramas on Netflix to Watch Right Now

https://ift.tt/3iIUp0r

South Korea is one of the world’s biggest exporters of popular culture. From K-pop to K-dramas, Parasite to BTS, the East Asian country knows how to reach an international audience. Korean TV, especially K-dramas, have long been of interest to western markets, but it’s no longer just the Korean diaspora or romance drama fans underserved by western markets checking out K-dramas, international watchers of Korean dramas have become much more “mainstream” in the last few years, especially with Netflix’s increased focus and investment in the region.

Why Are Squid Game’s English-Language Actors So Bad?

By Kayti Burt

Squid Game’s Most Heartbreaking Hour is Also Its Best

By Kayti Burt

Netflix has played a major role in this expansion of Korean TV into the global market. The streamer has not only scooped up an impressive backlog of Korean originals as a global distributor, but, since 2016, has been investing in the Korean TV industry at the production level. At the beginning of 2021, Netflix released an official statement announcing the leasing of two production facilities outside of Seoul, citing the move as “another important example of our continued commitment to investing in Korea’s creative ecosystem.” According to the release, from 2015 to 2020, Netflix invested over 700 million dollars in Korean content. The company also has multi-year content partnerships with CJ ENM/Studio Dragon and JTBC.

Suffice to say, Netflix has a solid Korean TV section, filled with some of the best K-dramas around, both new and old. If you’re new to the world of Korean TV or if you’re simply looking for your next watch, why not try out one of the following…

Crash Landing On You (2019)

The absolute top secret love story of a chaebol heiress who made an emergency landing in North Korea because of a paragliding accident and a North Korean special officer who falls in love with her and who is hiding and protecting her.

If you’re at all tapped into the K-drama scene, then you have at least heard of Crash Landing on You if not binged it multiple times. An original production from Netflix, Crash Landing On You pairs rom-com and character drama elements with an exploration of the cultural pain inherent in the separation between North and South Korea. With charismatic and vulnerable performances from veteran K-drama leads Son Ye-jin as South Korean heiress Yoon Se-ri and Hyun Bin as North Korean soldier Ri Jeong-hyeok; some gorgeous production values; and a memorably melodramatic soundtrack, Crash Landing On You is a whirlwind action-romance that was one of the best shows of 2020, full stop.

Kingdom (2019-present)

In a kingdom defeated by corruption and famine, a mysterious plague spreads to turn the infected into monsters. The crown prince, framed for treason and desperate to save his people, sets out on a journey to unveil what evil lurks in the dark.

If you prefer your TV more horror-driven, Korean TV has some notable shows for you. One of the most internationally popular is Kingdom, a historical zombie drama about a 17th century crown prince who has to fight against a mysterious plague of flesh-eating zombies that threatens to overtake his kingdom. Most K-dramas are structured to tell their entire story in one season, but Kingdom has already had two seasons with a third predicted to be on the way, as well as a one-off special that just premiered on Netflix called Kingdom: Ashin of the North. If you’re looking to get into a longer-running K-drama that favors horror over romance, this could be the one for you.

Squid Game (2021)

45.6 billion won. 456 contestants stake their lives on childhood games.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve probably already heard of Squid Game, which is on track to become Netflix’s most popular series ever. The Korean social thriller tells the story of a group of 456 desperate contestants who agree to compete in a deadly competition for the chance to win the kind of money that could change their lives forever. Socially relevant and compulsively watchable, Squid Game takes a familiar premise and makes it new again with compelling characters, exquisite visual style, and cultural specificity.

Hometown Cha Cha Cha (2021)

When things go awry in the city, a dentist decides to go back to her quiet seaside hometown for a fresh start. There, she finds herself at odds with the village go-to handyman who’s always up to help and fix what’s broken—perhaps even matters of the heart.

If you’re looking for something a little chiller after the horrors of Squid Game, try Hometown Cha Cha Cha, which is basically a Hallmark Christmas movie in series form (which is to say a cozy romance). The series, which is currently “airing” weekly on Netflix, sees a big city dentist named Hye-jin decide to open an office in the small seaside town of Gongjin, where she once visited with her family as a child. It all happens on a bit of a whim, with Hye-jin not fully prepared for the transition to rural life in a town where everyone knows everyone’s business. Enter Du-sik, the town’s darling jack-of-all-trades, who helps the townspeople by doing any and every job they might need. The two couldn’t be more different, but fate seems to have brought them together. You probably have an idea of what happens next…

When the Camellia Blooms (2019)

Dong-baek (Kong Hyo-jin) is the owner of a small-town bar called Camellia. Her ordinary life turns topsy-turvy when three men enter her life — a good guy, a bad guy, and a miserly guy. What kind of stories will unfold in this sleepy town full of colorful characters?

If you’re looking for another K-drama set outside of Seoul, When the Camellia Blooms is the story of a single mom Dong-baek, who moves to the fictional town of Ongsan where she opens a bar called Camellia. When local police officer Yong-sik declares his love for Dong-baek, she is initially not interested, but the two become closer the more time they spend together. Thrown in a solid supporting cast and a serial killer subplot and you’ve got yourself one of the most popular K-dramas in recent years.

It’s Okay to Not Be Okay (2020)

Desperate to escape from his emotional baggage and the heavy responsibility he’s had all his life, a psychiatric ward worker begins to heal with help from the unexpected—a woman who writes fairy tales but doesn’t believe in them.

There’s still a taboo around addressing mental illness in Korea, which is one of the many reasons why this 2020 drama about Gang-tae, a young man who is a caregiver at a psychiatric hospital, and Moon-young, a children’s author living with antisocial personality disorder, made such a splash. While the romance at its center is great, It’s Okay to Not Be Okay really shines in its exploration of Gang-tae’s relationship with his brother, Sang-tae, who is on the autism spectrum. In a press conference promoting the show (via Metro Style), Sang-tae actor Oh Jung-se said of the character: “If you meet someone like Sang-tae, who is on the autism spectrum, on the street, I think it would be nice if people could think ‘I would like to be with that person’ instead of ‘I would like to help that person.’”

Boys Over Flowers (2009)

Unassuming high school girl Jan-di stands up to — and eventually falls for — a spoiled rich kid who belongs to the school’s most powerful clique.

A K-drama classic, Boys Over Flowers follows working class student Geum Jan-di as she arrives at the elite Shinhwa High School on scholarship, only to meet and be unimpressed by a group of privileged boys known collectively as F4 who rule the school. The drama follows Jan-di as she goes from bullying target of F4 leader Jun-pyo to the object of his obsession. It’s a classic enemies-to-lovers set-up, and one that while cliche, is still worth a watch over a decade later, especially if you’re interested in checking out one of the most iconic K-dramas of all time.

Itaewon Class (2020)

On the vibrant streets of Itaewon, something is about to shake up the local food scene. Going up against the most powerful conglomerate in the industry, underdog Park Sae-ro-yi and his band of determined misfits seek to take over Itaewon and turn their ambitious dreams into reality.

Korean TV knows how to melodrama, and this story of revenge and romance set in Seoul’s popular Itaewon area leans into intense catharsis. Itaewon Class follows Park Sae-Ro-Yi, the owner of an up-and-coming Itaewon restaurant called DanBam that becomes a refuge for a group of social outcasts. Together, they work to take down the same business mogul responsible for the death of Sae-Ro-Yi’s father years earlier. Itaewon Class was extremely popular both in South Korea and internationally, and featured the first transgender character in a mainstream K-drama. Added bonus: the Itaewon Class soundtrack includes an original song from BTS’ V.

Mr Sunshine (2018)

In 1905, a Korean American U.S. marine officer returns to his homeland on a diplomatic assignment. Coping with his painful past in Korea as an orphaned servant boy, he finds himself in a complicated relationship with an aristocrat’s daughter.

If you’re into historically-driven period drama, then check out the beautifully-shot Mr. Sunshine. The K-drama is set in the late 19th and early 20th century in Hanseong, the city that would become Seoul and follows activists fighting for Korea’s independence. The story follows Go Ae-shin, an orphaned noblewoman who trains to be a sniper in the Righteous Army, the civilian militia that fought against the occupying Japanese forces, and Eugene Choi, a man who escaped slavery in Korea to become a U.S. marine, only to return to his homeland where he falls in love with Ae-shin. The series uses real-life history, including Shinmiyangyo, the Spanish-American War, the assassination of Empress Myeongseong, the Russo-Japanese War, Gojong’s forced abdication, and the Battle of Namdaemun as a backdrop for its epic story.

Signal (2016)

A cold-case profiler in 2015 and a detective in 1989 work together to solve a series of related murders spanning three decades using a special walkie-talkie to communicate with each other.

This premise has been used a lot—from 2000 Dennis Quaid/Jim Caviezel thriller Frequency to the 2016 CW TV adaptation of the same name—and for good reason. An analog device allows two people to communicate across time, and they must work to solve a murder together. It not only makes for compelling character drama, as two people become closer but are separated by years, but also is a fresh twist on the serial killer narrative. In K-drama Signal, the analog device is a walkie-talkie, and the characters on either temporal side of it are contemporary criminal profiler Park Hae-young and 1989-based Detective Cha Soo-hyun. If you’re looking for a good crime thriller, Signal could be it.

Hospital Playlist (2020-present)

Friends since undergrad school, five doctors remain close and share a love for music while working at the same hospital.

Like Kingdom, Hospital Playlist is the rare K-drama that tells its story across multiple seasons. The hospital drama just finished airing its second season weekly on Netflix, continuing its story about a group of doctors in their 40s who have been best friends since medical school. A true ensemble drama, Hospital Playlist is perfect for fans of Grey’s Anatomy but feels unique in its centering of a friend-group with a such a long history.

Vincenzo (2021)

Bringing his mafia past back with him to South Korea, Song Joong-ki stars as notorious Italian lawyer Vincenzo who isn’t afraid to lend his bloodstained hands to beat the untouchable conglomerates in their own game.

If you just watched the dramatic opening of Vincenzo, set in Italy days after the death of a mafia boss, you might think you’re in for a self-serious organized crime drama. But the Netflix K-drama quickly shifts into a story much more tonally complex. Part romance, part drama, part action thriller, Vincenzo has something for everyone. It follows Vincenzo (Space Sweepers‘ Song Joong-ki), a Korean lawyer raised by an Italian mafia family who must flee the country following his father’s death. As part of his plan of escape, Vincenzo travels to Korea to recover a stash of hidden gold under an old apartment building set for demolition by a corrupt corporation called the Babel Group. Because of this dilemma, Vincenzo becomes unlikely allies with the group of eccentric citizens who live in the building, as well as with a passionate and moral lawyer who has a vendetta against the Babel Group for his own reasons.

The “Reply” Series (2012-2016)

Take a nostalgic trip back to the late 1980s through the lives of five families and their five teenage kids living in a small neighborhood in Seoul.

The Reply series is one of the most popular cable dramas in Korean TV history. It launched in 2012 with Reply 1997 before continuing with Reply 1994 in 2013 and Reply 1988 in 2015. The ambitiously-structured series follows a group of friends and their kids, telling the story in present-day in addition to flashbacks. Featuring a fun soundtrack, as well as some incredibly performances, the Reply series is well worth a watch for anyone who loves character drama with a nostalgic twist.

Prison Playbook (2017)

With only days before his major league baseball debut, pitcher Kim Je-hyeok unexpectedly lands himself behind bars. He must learn to navigate his new world with its own rules if he wants to survive.

Prison Playbook is much more slow-paced than many of the selections on the list, but this character drama is worth the dedication. Though it’s often touted as a “black comedy,” it’s much more tonally light than that suggests, despite the subject matter. The story follows baseball pitcher Kim Je Hyeok, who is incarcerated days before his major league debut for assaulting the attempted rapist of his sister. It follows his life within prison, along with the lives of some of the other inmates and guards, including his old best friend, Lt. Lee Joon Ho, who is a correctors officer. Created by Lee Woo-jung, who also made the aforementioned Reply series, Prison Playbook is one of the most popular K-dramas in Korean cable history ever.

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Sweet Home (2020)

As humans turn into savage monsters, one troubled teenager and his neighbors fight to survive and to hold onto their humanity.

It’s been well-documented that Song Kang is a K-drama darling. The actor has appeared in many a romantic K-drama, including Netflix’s Nevertheless and Love Alarm. Sweet Home, however, is his rare horror appearance, and it’s well worth a watch just to see Song in a completely different context. Of course, this apocalyptic horror story has other qualities too, and holds the honor of being the first Korean series to enter the U.S. Netflix Top Ten. Based on a Naver (aka Korean Google) webcomic of the same name, Sweet Home follows Cha Hyun-soo (Song), a high school student who moves into an apartment building after the deaths of his parents, only to discover that the building also happens to be the home of a species of monsters set on world domination.

Nevertheless (2021)

Like a butterfly hopelessly attracted to a flower, this art student can’t seem to resist the mysterious young man who captures her attention. But the more they get romantically involved, the sooner she will have to decide—will getting close be worth it, when he doesn’t believe in relationships?

Speaking of Song Kang… Nevertheless is the latest K-drama to star the 27-year-old actor. The romantic drama stars Han So-hee as Yoo Na-bi, university art student who no longer believes in love following discovering her boyfriend has been cheating on her. When she meets Song’s Park Jae-eon, she is immediately intrigued. Though the two share an immediate attraction, they resist entering into a relationship due to their respective uncertainties about love. Based on a popular webcomic of the same name, Nevertheless feels unique in its treatment of modern dating life in Korea, depicting some of the more realistic, often internal struggles of what its like to date in your 20s.

My Mister (2018)

In a world that is less than kind, a young woman and a middle-aged man develop a sense of kinship as they find warmth and comfort in one another.

If you’re in the mood to cry, try My Mister, a drama about a financially-disadvantaged young woman just trying to stay afloat as she takes care of her sick grandmother amid mounting debt and a much more financially-privileged middle-aged man who is also being crushed by the weight of his life. The two work together, and form a (mostly) platonic relationship that helps both of them heal. Understated and deeply emotional at the same time, My Mister will subvert so many K-drama expectations in clever ways.

Memories of the Alhambra (2018)

While looking for the cryptic creator of an innovative augmented-reality game, an investment firm executive meets a woman who runs a hostel in Spain.

If you’re looking for another K-drama starring Crash Landing on You‘s Hyun Bin (and of course you are), then look no further than Memories of the Alhambra, a 2018 K-drama with an absolutely batshit (read: amazing) premise. Hyun stars as Yoo Jin-woo, a CEO who travels to Spain in search of the creator of an AR game set in the Spanish medieval fortress Alhambra. Once there, Jin-woo is pulled into a reality-bending mystery with life-or-death stakes and some unpredictable twists that I don’t want to spoil for you.

Romance is a Bonus Book (2019)

A gifted writer who’s the youngest editor-in-chief ever at his publishing company gets enmeshed in the life of a former copywriter desperate for a job.

Ostensibly based on the TV series Younger, Romance is a Bonus Book is a rom-com set in the publishing industry world. It follows single mom Kang Dan Yi as she struggles to reenter the workforce following her divorce. When he lies about her background to get a job, her life becomes tangled up with childhood friend and publishing phenom Cha Eun Ho.

I began watching this series to see how it compared to the U.S. version of the show, of which I am a fan. Honestly, these two series have only the most superficial details of their plots in common, which is par for the course in many adaptations. Romance is a Bonus Book is much more romance-centric than Younger, which balances the love life of its central protagonist with the many other relationships and concerns she has in her life. But that isn’t a bad thing. They are two very different shows with their own interests and strengths, but if you’re a fan of both rom-coms and the publishing industry, then both Romance is a Bonus Book and Younger are worth a watch.

Black (2017)

A man possessed by death. A woman who can see death. The earthly and the afterworld collide dangerously.

One character is possessed by the Grim Reaper. The other can see deadly spirits. Only Korean can turn this premise into a heartbreaking romance, as the two work together to save people marked for death. If you’re looking for a spooky season watch, you can’t go wrong with Black, which is a delightful (and, honestly, pretty complex) hodgepodge of Korean horror all wrapped up in a rom-com package.

What is your favorite K-drama on Netflix? And what upcoming Netflix K-dramas are you most looking forward to? Let us know in the comments below?

The post The Best Korean Dramas on Netflix to Watch Right Now appeared first on Den of Geek.

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kouhaiofcolor · 4 years

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Just gonna go ahead & say it. interracial dating is not necessarily “progressive” or undoing racism in any capacity when like 99.99% of the time interracial relationships are one-dimentionally marketed as black male × white female. there's hardly ever any alternative (or even just generally broad) representation otherwise. i cannot speak for what marketing is like in other regions of the world, but here in the US at least, you see more commercials, advertising, movies & tv shows that endorse bmwf relationships than quite literally any other combination of interracial pairings & that is truly odd & transparent. esp where colorism & antiblackness are, let's say governing, around relationships between antiblack black men & culture vulture/misogynoir white women.

even wmbf pairings are sparse as hell; & that's literally just the genderswap of the same kind of interracial depiction. Black Women periodT, do not get portrayed in interracial relationships at all next to how often black men are. really think ab that. the wheels have turned so dramatically in fact, that Black Women have suffered a social demotion so profound at the v hands & passive will of Black men & nb women, we're looked at as less valuable than black men these days. so we don't get even a slither of representation interracially — & then they get included in more shit than we do full stop. even with every woman in every corner of the world thirsting to emulate us every single day in every single way. that is truly wild. it's like corporations have taken it upon themselves to capitalize off of not necessarily misogynoir ig, but definitely off of black men both significantly famous & significantly otherwise who aggressively establish how opposed they are to being involved romantically w black women; whether anyone asks, is interested or not. we can't overlook white women taking full advantage of this, either, but truthfully they've had a historic streak in dismantling black family structures for just as long as white men so we don't even have to delve into that. slavery, racial fetishisation & washing of monoracial black love is the face-value irony ofc (which is why calling this particular interracial corporate fav “progressive” has always sounded contradicting to me).

it will never not be wild to me how straight up uncomfortable/pressed it makes society to see a monoracial black couple genuinely love & be committed to each other; esp a dark skinned pair, Good Lord. that's pretty much ‘least aesthetically pleasing’ in most pop culture industries, lbr. which is why a lot of different brands have also jumped on the dark skinned black men × light skinned black women bandwagon as an easy copout. then what's ironic ab that is the equally controversial fetishisation around making biracial children directly related to racist stigmas ab producing children that are dark or brown skinned (speaking of swirlers, whom again are often black men & white women); not to mention those same biracial children being creepily put on social pedestals around colorism, featurism, as well as prejudices around hair texture. add to that how even more divisive antiblackness susceptibily makes biracial groups just to keep up w trends & ideals around fair complexions & particularly curly hair.

it's just odd how interracial couples are hardly ever not black men & white women is what I'm getting at. you don't even see them paired w other races anywhere near as much; never a white girl & an singaporean man, or a black man & a sri lankan woman. like I said, we see Monoracially Black Couples even less — which is even weirder. Bc if any race of ppl deserve controlling the narrative of their own cultural love, it would definitely be Black Folk. everybody feels like they can better cast & be a romantic partner for a black man with agendas to essentially exclude black women entirely & that — for the love of God & every Black Woman constantly invalidated & belittled by our own men & nb women indifferently & like always — is not ok at all.

stop half-assing the relevance of other interracial relationships to lowkey perpetuate antiblackness & the fetishisation behind bmwf relationships; we see what's going on. At least I do. honestly i don't think it's progressive at all to endorse white ppl in particular being in interracial relationships they fetishise openly af both in spite & bc of historic racial prejudice. like how in God's name are we basically open to eugenic exercise in 2020 & ignorantly misappropriating it as beneficially futuristic? Esp for our own communities & Black heritage, the vindictive swirl shit antiBlack black men be on is some truly backwards bullshit. more than that, there is a true abundance of many different races of ppl in this world besides Black men & white women. if film & marketing industries literally only have the energy to portray interracial relationships thru bmwf couples & the children they produce then imo that is just lazy & misogynoir af. & pretty insinuative as to the kinds of future generations corporate industries as well as brands are adapting to prune & profitably objectify for, you guessed it, being biracial. so yay, rite? .-. nobody that matters loses & nobody that loses matters type shit. i get it. & I see thru the illusions.

it's like market logic be like: “if it's gonna be interracial the guy has to be black; & preferably w/ a white woman. uwu just for like, mainstream purposes around ‘dissolving’ racial division, yknow? & if he must be w/ a black woman, honestly the best you'll get is one who is intentionally racially ambiguous. 😲 not for uhh,,,, not for colorist reasons or anything. 😅 black men are fine. we LOVE using black men. of any kind. Er.... that didn't come out right, either, heh 😶 its black women we don— 😧 i-i-i mean,,,, what we mean to say is...,, ahem, black women are just a little... more difficult different to uh. to market. err, advertise. interracially. *cough!*..... 👀uhm,, we love woc & understand how important it is to represent black women fairly as well as accurately. we just have a,,... harmless preference in casting them thru fair-skinned or half black women. if that's fine. 🤐 a-and again, we totally understand that it in fact is not. we just..... 👉🏻👈🏻i mean..... what would you all like us to do? besides literally just stop whitewashing the roles of Monoracial Black Women to conservative hollywood's satisfaction? & besides just pairing mono black ppl w other mono black ppl & allowing Black Love to be represented the way it has literally never been given the chance w/o white intolerance/interference?🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♂️”

#interracial relationships #bmwf #mine.txt #colorism #texturism #misogynoir #black men #white women #blm #swirlers #culture vultures #mixed kids #cultural misappropriation #non blacks don't interact

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bau-rookie · 4 years

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a close examination of Hotch and Foyet

in which Hotch’s greatest strength becomes his fatal flaw.

(a/n: super long essay, because i don’t know how else to consume media apparently lol. i’ve been sitting on this since “100″ because it is really sad and I just wanted to make sure I get all my thoughts in order. It is, to my discovery, Aaron Hotchner’s birthday today, so what better way to celebrate than by explaining all the ways the Foyet arc reads like a Greek tragedy and how Hotch is an amazingly well-written character. Sorry the only way I can think about paying tribute is by making myself sad. Oh there’s GIFs too! I made them and that’s neat :D)

I. Ingredients for a Greek tragedy.

Greek tragedies stem from classical plays, usually about the nobility, and is centered around their struggle against the Gods/Fate. The noble character has a hamartia, or a fatal flaw, usually their own arrogance, that brings upon their own downfall.

Technically, Criminal Minds would fall under the category of modern tragedy which focuses more on common people and everyday problems. (Though you could argue that being a BAU profiler isn’t your typical career, which makes our characters noble not by blood, but in spirit.)

In modern tragedy, there is less of an emphasis on the involvement of a higher power or Fate. Every bad thing that happens is of mankind’s own making, and this is something that CM discusses often, that evil isn’t necessarily brought upon by a higher power. It’s brought upon by ordinary people choosing to do terrible things.

And Foyet is no different. He chose to kill all these people because he wanted to, but his fascination with Hotch and how his plans for him play out, entrap Hotch in a tragedy more Greek in nature.

What Foyet ultimately does is take Hotch’s greatest strength—his stoic resolve to serve justice—and uses it to hold him personally responsible for the death of his ex-wife, all while bending the hand of Fate to his will.

II. Hotch as a noble character.

In “Omnivore” we are introduced to the Reaper and the many ways he tries to exert control and power over his victims. After killing so many times loses its appeal, the Reaper decides to toy with detective Tom Shaunessey by offering him a deal—if you stop hunting me, I will stop hunting them.

While we sympathize with Shaunessey simply trying to save lives, he does so with the knowledge that he is deliberately letting a serial killer go free. The fear and the guilt eats away at him until his death.

Hotch, on the other hand, quickly establishes himself to be a resolute pursuer of justice. We don’t get to make those decisions. We don’t let them get away with it. He holds onto the idea that they have no right to decide who lives or dies and that the victims that unsubs like the Reaper takes, are not something he, or anyone in his line of work, should feel responsible for. Their sole responsibility is to stop them.

This isn’t to say that Hotch is unaffected by the increasing number of bodies. When he turns down the deal and the Reaper attacks the bus full of people, he is visibly shaken by this, so much so that we see Hotch cry for the first time. It takes Rossi delivering some tough love to remind him of what’s important.

Look, if you want to end up like Shaunessy, like Gideon, blaming yourself for everything, you go ahead. But that voice in your head—it’s not your conscience. It’s your ego. This isn’t about us, Aaron. It’s about the bad guys. That why we profile them. It’s their fault. We’re just guys doing a job. And when we stop doing it someone else will.

Hotch and the team in general, are faced with constant reminders that they are only human. They are fallible and cannot control every outcome.

Not everyone can handle the stresses of being a profiler. Despite the horrors, the chance of failing, Hotch’s greatest strength is his stoic resolve. He’s become our beloved Unit Chief, the person on the team who takes on the most pressure, takes it upon himself to, at times, shield the rest of the team from the greater burdens. Personally, he’s arguably also the one who sacrificed the most to have this job, having lost his marriage.

Yet despite the horrors, despite the toll, Hotch shows up for the job anyway. Because he can’t imagine letting the bad guys get away with it.

III. Foyet as a representation of Fate

“The Eye of Providence. A symbol adopted by the U.S. Government with the words: Annuit Coeptis. Latin for “Providence or fate has favored our undertakings.” The Reaper seems to see himself as the personification of Fate.” — Dr. Spencer Reid, “Omnivore”

From the beginning Foyet is shown to have a flair for theatrics. He leaves markings of the Eye of Providence, writes Fate in blood, calls himself the The Reaper. He has delusions of grandeur and posits himself as a higher power, one who gets to decide the course of other people’s lives. Everyone who has the misfortune of coming into contact with the Reaper, becomes another chess piece in his twisted game of Fate.

In another life, Hotch would never cross paths with Foyet. But because he did, Foyet acts as Fate, bringing down divine intervention in the form of driving Hotch into a tragedy of his own making.

Foyet acting as Fate is, paradoxically, also an argument against the actual existence of Fate. Everything that happens is a result of Foyet’s choices. It is him, a man, and not Fate who is choosing to kill, maim and be cruel.

When it came to Shaunessy, Foyet also emphasized pinning the blame of the death of innocent lives on the failure of law enforcement. It isn’t Fate when there’s something you could do to stop it. Shaunessy took the deal because he felt personally responsible for the possible loss of lives, an outcome that Foyet pretty much predicted, but one that doesn’t really affect him. Shaunessy agrees, he gets off on controlling the police. If he doesn’t, well, he can just keep on killing.

Foyet repeats the deal with Hotch. Offers him the deal, which Hotch refuses then immediately murders 7 people on the bus, setting a chain of cause and effect that makes it seems like Hotch’s actions led to this gruesome outcome. Again, placing the blame personally, on Hotch. And Hotch does blame himself, if momentarily.

Later, once Foyet escapes and corners Hotch in his own apartment, he makes it clear, you should have made a deal. Foyet acts as a vessel for Fate, a vehicle through which the consequences of Hotch’s actions are served.

Foyet takes it a step further, when he puts Haley and Jack in witness protection. Left all the usual clues, to simply say your wife and child are in danger because you never took the deal. I hold all the cards here, your fate will come for you eventually.

Then Foyet disappears, and waits. Leaving Hotch filled with guilt over endangering his ex-wife and child, at the mercy of Foyet’s arbitration of Fate.

IV. Dominoes and fatal flaws

By the time “100″ rolls around, you’re so captivated by the action happening on screen that it’s easy to overlook how we got there. When I first watched this season, I had assumed that Foyet would be put on the back burner until the end of the season. His quicker-than-expected return seems to be happenstance, the writers behind-the-scenes doing some plot magic, but if you reexamine the events that lead up to “100″ we see Foyet’s greater machinations at play.

On the surface, the preceding episode “Outfoxed” seems to be a straight forward throwback to an earlier case. Faced with a family annihilator, Hotch and Emily visit the original Fox in prison, believing the current unsub might be a copycat. The episode seems to be about the mental toll being a profiler brings, with Emily contending with a sense of disgust at having to get intimate with a serial killer (post-”Lauren” this reads very differently, but I digress). Until right at the end, when they reveal the admirer letters were actually from Foyet, and the one being outfoxed is Hotch.

When the events of “100″ go down, we hear Foyet repeatedly blame Hotch for what happens with Haley, calls out what we see as a noble resolve to instead be Hotch’s fatal flaw. It was the same thing that led Haley to leave him, a failing borne from Hotch’s own ego, the part of him that insists that it be him who catches the bad guys, that it be him who risks it all. And Foyet uses that to his advantage, uses Hotch’s resolve to trick him into thinking that maybe he did cause all of this tragedy to happen.

One small detail that caught my attention, and set me on this Greek tragedy path, is when they try to track down Foyet in “100″, Garcia notes that he had set an internet search alert for the name “Peter Rhea.”

At this point, Foyet was ready to go after Haley and Jack. He already had pictures and surveillance of the U.S. Marshall in charge of them. He could’ve gone and killed them anytime, but that’s not how Foyet operates. He needs Hotch to feel personally responsible for things ending badly. He set the bait with the letters and simply had to wait for Hotch and the team to get close enough, to find Peter Rhea. This is, of course, incredibly risky. The team could catch him before Foyet gets anywhere close to Haley and Jack, but Foyet is sure of himself and is an extensive planner. He made sure he was always two steps ahead.

The irony is that Foyet would never have gone after Haley and Jack if Hotch and the team didn’t get close to tracking him down. There’s an added layer of Spencer figuring out Foyet’s alias using his genius anagram deciphering brain and Garcia’s expert tech analyst skills. Foyet managed to hurt Hotch because this specific BAU team are just too damn good at their jobs.

Foyet set up dominoes that only Aaron Hotchner could tip to fall. He does it so well it almost feels like Fate.

V. The inevitability of fate

“Men heap together the mistakes of their lives and create a monster called destiny.” — John Hobbes, “Omnivore” closing quote.

A key aspect of Greek tragedy, is that Fate is often the result of divine intervention. They cause certain events to happen in certain ways so as to result in the most tragic outcome, usually death. It’s designed so that the audience is aware of what’s to come, and can see no other way for the story to end. The tragedy is supposed to feel inevitable.

One could argue, that there is no such thing as Fate. Life is simply a sequence of random happenstance, but our need to prescribe meaning to the chaos cobbles up stories of predetermined destinies. Especially when the idea of owning up to our mistakes and their consequences is too much.

All of this was the result of one sick man, George Foyet, choosing to be so cruel. And Hotch was simply a victim of circumstance because if Foyet wasn’t going after Hotch, he’d be going after someone else.

But what are the odds that Hotch’s first case as lead profiler happens to be The Boston Reaper? It was from that moment that Hotch’s fate was really sealed, he and Foyet would be forever intertwined.

Hotch, being who he is, had inadvertently, made the Reaper personal. Even when his BAU team was sent away, his resolve wouldn’t let the Reaper simply disappear. It led him to build his profile, alone and over many years. Any other person might’ve just let the case go, but not Hotch.

So when Shaunessy died and the Reaper resurfaced, the only person in the world who knows enough about the Reaper to track him down, is Hotch. It’s what leads him to George Foyet, a victim at first glance, and Hotch comes to him unaware that he is promising The Reaper a new, worthy adversary, one a decade in the making. And everything, from his prison escape, to his attack on Hotch in his apartment, plays out exactly as Foyet expects it to, because as much as Hotch can read him, Foyet can read his behavior too.

At the end of 5x03, “Reckoner”, Rossi talks about what could have been when it comes to his childhood sweetheart to Hotch. About how he was too obsessed with his job, with the hunt that he gave up his chance of having a family. Rossi warns Hotch, don’t make my mistakes, kid.

You have a family. When all this is over, what are you gonna do to make sure you’re not a lonely guy wondering why you let the purest thing in your life get away?

My initial reaction was that they were setting up for Hotch to leave the BAU for good. The man who hung on to the job so much that it cost him his marriage, for the first time, actually considers leaving it all behind him. Because what Rossi says to him, driven by the circumstances that Foyet has created, is too profound for him to ignore. Foyet is too big of a thing to just move on from once its over.

Of course, my hopes of Hotch riding off into sunset to live a quieter life and watch his son grow up were optimistic at best. It’s a fantasy that purposely ignores the reality of who Hotch is, simply because I want the alternative to be possible. By the time Haley is buried, and Strauss offers Hotch retirement, we already know what his answer is going to be. Because everything we know about this man can only lead us to one conclusion.

Aaron Hotchner is the man who goes after the bad guys, the man who doesn’t let them get away with it. No matter how much I yell at my screen about how Hotch should just retire and spend all his time with Jack, deep down I knew that was never going to happen. Him losing Haley and still going back to work, seems like the only logical outcome. It’s almost feels inevitable.

VI. Catharsis

The point of tragedy is, according to Aristotle, to achieve catharsis. The purging of emotion through the telling of another person’s suffering. And that’s what “100″ does (unless your heart is made of stone and you somehow did not tear up even once).

Others would say that tragedy is meant to teach us a lesson. Meant to teach us the limits of our mortal abilities, to warn against hubris and arrogance; to remind us that they are higher powers and unseen forces beyond our understanding or control.

Criminal Minds doesn’t try to give us that lesson. Like in so many previous cases, the premise of a crime procedural is really a way of examining human nature. Why do people do bad things? More often than not, though our profilers can figure out how an unsub goes from doing thing A to thing B, they don’t have a satisfying answer for why.

In Foyet’s case, he does all of this to Hotch because he can, because he enjoys making him suffer. It is evil, unnecessarily cruel. There is no sense to be found in what happened.

But “100″ does not deliver pure tragedy. It ended in the death of Haley but it also provided hope in the survival of Jack. Hotch finally rids the world of Foyet, though the way it went down, you can’t help but wonder about the price of justice, if the cost is too much for this one man to pay. But then the show reminds the audience, that this one man isn’t bearing that cost alone.

Aaron Hotchner has his team, his family, and with their support, a chance to recover from the tragedy that Foyet wrought.

I used to think that, despite being dead, George Foyet still won. He set out to hurt Hotch, and that’s exactly what he did. We’ve only seen Hotch openly cry twice at this point, and they both were directly caused by Foyet. And I suppose that’s still partly true. It’s hard to really tell with our stone-faced unit chief, but it’s hard to see how Foyet wouldn’t linger.

But that victory isn’t absolute. Foyet is gone, and he loses every time Jack gets to spend another day happy and alive. Foyet loses, every time Hotch shows up for the job and doesn’t let another unsub like him get away with it.

And maybe that’s the lesson. That though good doesn’t always triumph over evil, there is a way to move past tragedy. And that path lies not in solitude, in carrying the burden alone, but in the solace of our friends and family who can bear witness to all that we must face.

For all all my waxing poetic about how Hotch is a noble hero, this entire ordeal just shows how human he is. Yet despite his flaws and the tragedy, the core unassailable truth of who he is, the values he represents, remain unchanged.

He is Aaron Hotchner. The guy who hunts down guys like Foyet. The guy who doesn’t let the bad guys get away with it. The guy who, despite everything, managed to save his son. The guy who will keep his promise to the woman he was once married to, to teach their son that love is the most important thing. The guy who makes sure that his son knows that good people do exist.

Aaron Hotchner is the guy who, despite all the hurt, the pain and the loss, chooses to be the hero. And that’s the farthest thing from tragic.

#did i spend all day thinking too much about a fictional character?#hell yes #i don't know how else to be #i just think aaron hotchner is neat ok #and he deserves the happiest of birthdays #maybe i'll write a fic about it tomorrow #but for now i rest #criminal minds #charlie watches criminal minds #aaron hotchner #david rossi #george foyet #mine: gifs #criminal minds gifs

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