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#but yeah I basically just think that the family reunion where no one knows exactly what happened but still has to watch Lincoln and Warrior
tired-fandom-ndn · 1 month
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i do like imagining oisin trying to make a good impression with the family by remembering their names
but its damn near impossible because theyre mostly a bunch of elves who names all start with “a” and despite being different, are at the same time similar but still different, where you cant quite get it on the first try
that mixed with the fact his elvish aint that fucking good prior to making fallinel a frequent place to visit
and eventually one of grandma’s (i know she has a name but i cant remember it, amatherial?, idk) kids pulls him aside and says something along the lines of
“we appreciate you trying but truly i think it’s impossible because even i dont know some of their names at times. but we all love each other, except those dim witted fucks that our adaine and aelwyn had for parents those fuckers we hate and are glad theyre dead and dont inhabit this plane of existence anymore, and that’s what matters.”
[context]
(Very close on grandma's name, it was Amarthriel!)
Yes yes, this is so good anon and exactly what I was thinking of! Oisin would try soooooo hard to learn the name of every single one of Adaine's family members because he wants to impress her AND not embarrass himself in front of her family but it's not possible.
Adaine and Aelwyn give him a 10 page guide with the names of every single person and how they're all related, and the other Rat Grinders all help him make flash cards and study with him. Ruben sincerely tries to help with the studying, but Kipperlilly and Lucy are the only ones who are actually helpful; Ivy makes it a million times harder by making fun of him and adding fake names to the flashcards and Mary Ann is just sorta there doing her own thing.
And yet, the moment he actually gets to the reunion, all that studying goes right out the fucking window. He spent HOURS practicing names in front of a mirror (with Kipperlilly spraying him with a water bottle when he got one wrong) and all that practice was useless because the moment he opens his mouth, not a single name comes out correctly. When he actually gets someone's name correct (which is very rare), he stumbles over the pronunciation so much that it's basically incomprehensible. Some of the words that come out are instead deeply offensive elvish swears.
At one point Oisin successfully identifies a distant cousin with an extremely long name. Unfortunately, while trying to pronounce his name, Oisin manages to say that that particular cousin's mother looked like a giant bat and he was promptly cussed out in a language he could barely understand.
Amarthriel steps in because she likes him and is thrilled about his relationship with Adaine and it really would be a shame for him to be brutally murdered by one of her grandchildren for accidentally insulting their entire family line. And yeah, there is not a single person at that reunion who can actually name more than 20 other people there; even Amarthriel, the matriarch of the family, only remembers the names of her siblings, children, and her favorite grandchildren (namely Adaine and Aelwyn).
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hawkzeyes · 6 months
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hey i'm so sorry i know you've linked to it probably a million times but i can't find it: can i have the link to your hawkeye reading list pleaseee and thank you 🥳
Hi Hi!! Please never apologize for asking I have the most unorganized blog in all hawkeye accounts LMFAOOO so not being able to find recs in here is understandable
Im assuming you mean Clint, but just in case not I will add Kate's in at the end!
So First of course is this icon's first appearance in
Tales of Suspense #57 (1964) - (he also shows up a few more times in tales of suspense but obviously this is the most important one!)
The Avengers #16 (1965) is when he joins and becomes our favorite little Avenging Archer (forewarning he is a little shit here. His favroite pass time in the beginning is driving Steve up a wall. I personally find this dynamic very funny but some dont)
He is with the Avengers for a really long time. Like more than 150+ comics(he isn't Hawkeye the whole time though as he does have a little bit I believe that starts in Avengers #63-#98 where he is Goliath. He comes back to us as Hawkeye in Avenger #99)
Hawkeye (1983) is his first solo ever! It's a mini series but its one of my personal favroites!
West Coast Avengers (1984)- this is where we get to see him take lead in a brand new team in California!
The West Coast Avengers (1985)- this is just a contitnuation of the previous mentioned!
Solo Avengers (1987)- We find out more tea about Clint's life prior to avenging here
He stays with the West Coast Avengers for a hot minute before we get his second solo
Hawkeye (1994) he's reaaaaal tough guy big feelings in this one
then he shows up in Avengers again in 1995 (yeah I know but hey he is the avenging archer so that's where youre gonna find him the most) He even gets a new lil fit and everything (he looks like he belongs in a boyband and I love it)
Thunderbolts (1998) is where Clint shows up ( in 2001 I believe) and takes over the team! He essentially helps try to guide them into being a good hero team and if I remember correctly I think its either #74-#75 where he leaves the Thunderbolts (I can't remember exactly I'm sorry)
Hawkeye (2003)- a third solo!!! look at our little guy go!!!
Then he... well he dies LMFAOOO in Avengers (2004) and the Clint Barton you knew and love is about to change forever
The New Avengers #26 (2006) if i remember correctly and it's.. well it's a sad one and he isn't the lovely Hawkeye when he comes back either. This is where Clint becomes Ronin, which is a rather dark time for Clint.
Secret Invasion (2008) This is also sad im sorry LMFAOOO Clint's morals are tested often as Ronin
The New Avengers (2009) Again he is ronin here so if youre looking for Clint just as Hawkeye he isn't here but don't worry he is back as Hawkeye soon enough
New Avengers: The Reunion (2009) whooooo's he getting a reunon with ;)
Hawkeye & Mockingbird (2010) guess what, that's who he got a reunion with I LOVE THIS COMIC
Widowmaker (2010) is basically a continue on of ^ with Nat involved
Avengers: Solo (2011) CLINT!!!! AS!!! HAWKEYE!!! Doin Hawkeye shit
Hawkeye: Blindspot (2011) do you like family angst? Good. Here. Have the family angst.
There is an event going on around this time called Fear Itself that he is involved in and also he is in Secret Avengers (2012) starting #21 or #22 where he becomes the leader.
Hawkeye (2012) We all know and love this bad boy. You could fit so many tears into it.
Secret Avengers (2013) again??? yes again.
Secret Avengers (2014) haha yeah again
Hawkeye Vs Deadpool (2014) it's fun! it's cute! Wade makes me laugh and he has a soft spot for the Hawkeyes
All-New Hawkeye (2015) there is some retconning done here
I don't wanna talk about Civil War II (2016) it makes me really sad LMFAOOO but yes he is in it and it should be read because well.. he makes a BIGGGGGG choice here that I feel has def echoed in his characterization since and has caused lots of misleading beliefs about Clint
Occupy Avengers (2016) Woooooooh I like this one it's fun
Secret Empire (2017) He is in it if I remember correctly but I grouch about this whole concept because I thought it was stupid. It gives the same energy as "What if Superman was evil" and I'm sure as a DC fan you know how annoying that concept is.
Generations: Hawkeye(2017) This is soooo cute I love this one. Kate meets a younger Clint in it and they run around together
Tales of Suspense #101 (2018) This will never not make me laugh. Him and Bucky working together is always funny
He is also involved in Kate's Hawkeye run during this time but I've got that on her list
West Coast Avengers (2018) I liked this. I love when Kate and Clint work together and I liked seeing the nods to the original WCA
Hawkeye: Freefall (2020) crying puking throwing up it's so good and fun until it's not fun anymore
Black Widow (2020) Not my favroite run for Nat... feels like the tone is off but he is in it
Thunderbolts (2022) I liked this...would have been super cool if Marvel had kept it as a continuing run because I feel like it didn't get to finish it's story. I'm still sour about it.
NOW obviously this is not everything ever he has ever been in and I'm certainly not perfect enough to have read every. single. appearance. So please forgive me if I missed something important cause sometimes my brain is not so greeat with memory.
x Kate Reading List!
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Co-parenting Found Family
[Miu (has a baby), Rantaro, Tsumugi & Kokichi friend group, Saiouma]
Me: you ever read a crackfic one-shot and realize you'd want to read a serious longfic with the same premise? cause now I am thinking of this stupid.. pregnant Miu shows up to saiou's apartament, asking Kokichi for help but instead of going with the crap about her not realizing she's pregnant for this long, I would like it to be angst inspired by her lhs
Clown: Yessss!!! I read that one!!! Absolutely loved it, mostly because I'm a sucker for them navigating something like this so ridiculously
Me: I liked it too, the joke about her not being able to tell rubbed me the wrong way, but it was actually nice after that, I would read more of it if they write a continuation
Me: basically, Miu ghosts everyone for a few months, not that unusual, she can disappear in her projects, she pops back up to brag about the prize she got for it when she's done, but not this time, this time she shows up to saiou's apartment, severely pregnant and devastated turns out she jumped headfirst into a relationship with some guy, tried to go through with her baby-trapping idea from LHS, because, hello abandonment issues, and for a bit it looks like she's exactly where she wants to be, but then, only weeks before she's due the guy ditches, leaves some note about realizing he's too young to be a father, and he's gone also, I'd add https://archiveofourown.org/series/976308 friend group to the mix, so while Ouma is the first person she comes to, the whole gang unites to help her
Clown: The friend group coming together instead of another potential partner is clenches fist so good. Miu is someone who is pretty fixated on relationships, it's almost as though in her mind she won't really be completely until someone loves her that way. So to give her a chance to move past that in this situation is just so interesting AND ITS JUST SO GOOD! In my mind for her to come to ouma of all people. Because he provided some familiarity to her, some safe space where she can in her own way step back into her usual. And Ouma would low-key go "shit. I'd jump shit too" and shuichi sends him a look but doesn't dare say anything because he kinda agrees. And it's a complete wreck but it's good
Me: yeah, if it's platonic relationships being as important as romantic ones, if not put first (actually, love Kokichi kicking Shu out so he can focus on comforting Miu), I am an insane person unapologetically I just think. found family coming together to raise a child. like if you agree I've done it before with DICE adopting a kid and I'll do it again
Me: Kokichi would agree with being the father, he's going to use it to gaslit their other ex-classmates (I imagine this is a few years post-HPA) into thinking he's the one who ended up with a kid their friend group + Shuichi know the truth of the arrangement, but that's it she might have been in a state of shock when she suggested it to him, but he's embraced it he Will be "the ultimate dad", (she regrets coming to him instead of Rantaro or Tsumugi when she sees all the custom print tees he got) he's telling Kaito about His pregnancy and childbirth experience the next time he comes over, he's preparing stories when it's aliens that got him pregnant, but no it was actually one of those dinosaur foam pills he swallowed, unless… Kaito, who just wanted to eat lunch with Shuichi: Shuichi, who is a simp: [relieved emoji] he won't help you, Kaito
Aalliyah: He swallowed a watermelon seed
Clown: He's taking this so seriously jagdjdhs He laid an egg [pensive emoji] I love shuichi just going along with it. Everyone expects some sort of something from him and he's just "We planted him in our garden from a toe nail and-"
Ves: this is gonna be the most spoilt baby
Me: on some bigger (as in just about the whole class is there) reunion, (probably a regular event organized by Kaede, like a movie or boardgame night) they look to Rantaro, who's always been the most reasonable of their group, and he's just mentally in the hehe hoho I'm an uncle and doesn't have more to add, he's zeroed-in on the baby, will get back to you later, maybe. [replying to Ves] oh, absolutely Tsumugi is part of the problem, always making something but. there is always somebody who wants to carry the baby never left out of sight
Clown: How do the squad [sunglasses emoji] , eventually find out??
Me: I think after Miu cries herself to sleep Kokichi texts their group chat using their emergency code (sacred, extempt from lies) to get Rantaro & Mugi to come over the next morning so they can tackle it together because in reality, he's a little overwhelmed too, and in the moment doesn't know yet if Shuichi will adjust to this with him so they all eat breakfast together, reassure Miu that they'll be there for her no matter what, start making a plan, a shopping list, beginning of a schedule, then Kokichi has to take the first scary step of the plan - talk to Shuichi about it; but Shuichi is like: yeah, of course because how could he expect his boyfriend not to help out? this is literally why he loves him, of course he will go a little overboard when it's for his found family he knew he had to prepare himself for Something when he saw Miu crying on his couch, at least it doesn't involve committing crimes against whoever hurt her, for now.
Clown: It's a big step!! (And very sudden) Even if it'll be a shared responsibility It's an entire new person! One that ouma is already in his mind accepted he'll be there for. He wouldn't immeadiately expect Shuichi to agree to something like that on a whim, but to know Shuichi is willing to look for solutions, to stay and work through it with him without question because of course. Sobs. Yeah. They've GROWN!!! Planning would be hellish though. Oumas filling the table with hundreds of scribbled papers and everything. Yes absolutely we need to sign this bitch up for maternity classes. Fuck it, Rantaro you go too, check in with us later. Tsumugi!! Need 3 months of baby clothes STAT! SHUICHI!! you just sit there and look pretty…SIKE ERRAND BOY GET THIS FOR ME
Me: let's be real, he's the first to sign up for those parenting classes and buying books about it but yeah, he does make Miu go too, for sure
Clown: Yeah he would!! He wants to be prepared
Me: also not to take from egg's family au directly but https://eggs-can-draw.tumblr.com/post/711383943783579648/omg-i-just-thought-so-byakuya-would-be-like Togami's motherhenning = Kokichi here and, while this is all sweet, I think Miu also needs to get mental health help, get that girl some therapy, she needs to work out the flaw with her logic, because, while it was already proven wrong when the guy left her, she needs to be given alternatives and you know, I think she would struggle with her feelings about the kid, it was supposed to be her ticket to being loved, and the kid is certainly getting a lot of love, but… maybe she would want more attention for herself? how is she meant to score a relationship now? she's going to need help understanding that those people are her family and that she's already loved
Ves: yeah!!! i think kokichi would b pretty blunt abt it too he tells her to shape tf up
Clown: YEEEAHHH. Honestly having a lot of people helping her out, some who give out reassurance easier than others, is a good start. But she is in that place where she's looking for something else to latch on. Usually that's the kid. I feel like had she gone through this alone she'd be one of those mothers constantly flipping through "You ruined my life" and "your the only thing in my life that loves me unconditionally" towards her kid. Ouma definitely helps in the way that he doesn't sugarcoat a thing.
Ves: local cluster b morons try to make a child well-adjusted baby'll be ok tho i think
Clown: Yeah baby will be ok! Everyone gets therapy [gun emoji] by law
Ves: praying that includes whatever poor man miu fucked up RIP king the kid is gonna be FUNNY when it grows up tho
Clown: [2 sob emojis] they'll be the ultimate comedian
Ves: saihara please pretend to be normal they need a balancing influence
Apollo: That kid is gonna commit crimes and use the skills Shuichi teaches them to get away with it
Clown: Somehow they pick up only on saiharas ingrained need to find the answer to questions The question is what would happen if a fork goes into an outlet
Apollo: They manage to somehow get the baby proof thing off the outlet and Kokichi fucking dives to stop them
Clown: Miu is just "let it happen. This is how I learned!"
Apollo: Kokichi just looks at her, blood dripping from the cut in his forehead and mumbles about how 'That explains a lot' Kokichi acts like kids will be kids and thus they get injured so there's no need to panic but the kid trips and he freaks the fuck out Like the kid doesn't even fall over. They stumble slightly and Kokichi is instantly there
Clown: He's the doting one. He's sobbing going, "my god. Your going to hate me one day. I'll be cool!! You can do a drug!"
Apollo: Poor Shuichi wakes up to Kokichi sitting up in the middle of the night because he's stressing over if he's cool or not and Shuichi has to remind him that the kid isn't even a year old yet and thus, has no idea what cool even means
Beez: smh shuichi just lie to him and say he is
Clown: Shuichi for real he needs to know, is he the lamest guy at the daycare?
Apollo: He's too tired to lie right now. Kokichi bursts into tears because is this his way of saying he isn't cool?
Clown: The pure betrayal!! From the one he trusted most!!!
Apollo: It's 2 in the morning [sob emoji] Kokichi has to have his devices taken away because he's staying up searching up how to be the cool guardian Ves: miu and him fight over who's the cool one when the kid is older (it;s neither of them)
Me: I can see Miu and Kokichi arguing about which one of them is cooler, but it's definitely Miu who lets the kid get away with things (like not brushing teeth) to be cool, and would likely mean the letting them do drugs thing, Kokichi would scold her for that and then his version of cool is teaching them lockpicking and making the scary faces, which in turn, she tells him off for
Apollo: Kid says it's Rantaro and both of them decide that he must go /silly Rantaro is riding the high while running away from Miu and Kokichi
springbug: it [rising the baby] surprisingly goes well too sure the kid might pick up on swearing at the age of 5 BUT THAT'S OKAY
Apollo: I mean, kid's gotta learn at some point Okay but father's day at daycare and just Shuichi, Rantaro, Kiibo and Kokichi all show up [idek why Apollo added Kiibo to the mix, he wasn't mentioned before, I didn't skip anything like that]
springbug: "i'm the father" "no i am" "what are you guys talking about? i look just like them" "sorry ma'am, im actually the father"
Me: nah, daycare, kindergarten etc. people think Miu and Kokichi are divorced or something if they come together they probably have some of their barely censored banter; sometimes Kokichi comes in with Shuichi, or it's Shuichi who drops the kid off on his own while he's on the way to work, kid refers to him by his name and calls him "dad's boyfriend"; sometimes uncle Rantaro or aunt Tsumugi come to pick them up; both Miu and Kokichi love to act like they're a single mom, works three jobs when other kids' parents try to ask them about life, and sometimes complain about each other
springbug: imagine gonta taking them to the park and showing him all the cool bugs [smiling face with tear emoji]
Me: once the kid is a bit older they let Rantaro and Gonta organize a camping trip for them and their friends, Kokichi is crying when letting them go because he's a motherhen and his baby is growing up and not scared to sleep away from home and him because the bugs will kill them
Clown: Miu and Kokichi giving their all to be divorcecore so true Everyone has ideas of the outrageous affair that ended their marriage that never happened
Beez: u just know the tea is PIPING among the staff
Clown: They're picking sides for sure
Me: imagine someone on the staff is homophobic so one of those days when it's Shuichi's turn, he gets told that his gay agenda is the reason the kid has to live in a broken family he's so confused the asshole is dealt with, but the anecdote lives forever also, I think Kokichi is the parent that always takes the chance to help out at school when they ask for a volunteer to join the trip or some event at school idk, if it's an universal thing, but here it's common practice that when little kiddos go on trips around town one or two of the class moms are asked to join after the first time the teacher is like "does anyone other than mr. Ouma wants to join? [sweat smile emoji]" but he persists he's just a little to prepared for anything to happen and kids feed into that energy and it becomes entirely beyond the teacher's control
Clown: OUMA BECOMES A PTA MOM AKSHJDHD The children are the next in line to be a part of his criminal organization so he needs to see them regularly, duh
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wutheringmights · 2 years
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bites i mean puts in three votes MYSELF. :grabbyhands: modern au :O??
ok enough people have bitten me than I am obligated to talk about this so prepare to be VASTLY DISAPPOINTED by how mundane all of my ideas are
Instead of a war, the entire drama is based around the results of a civil suit that has the potential to change the law, etc etc etc
Very important and dramatic stuff
And you know what? I wasn't planning on there being a tied in reality show aspect, but at this point, we got to do it, don't we?
The Knights of Hyrule are a law firm headed by Lincoln Harkinian, which deals with high profile cases as well as a lot of charity cases
So the backstory is that Warriors, who is in college at the time, is told to help out on a very important legal case as an intern involving his distant cousin, Spirit
Spirit at this point was also in college to study to be an engineer. he and Warriors are distant cousins from the same massive extended family that every member of the Chain is from
I should mention that this family is so massive that it can be a little unclear at times how everyone is related to each other. Have you ever gone to a family reunion and met someone who is your mom's cousin's uncle's child? Like that.
So the original plan was that Spirit would stay the summer at the Harkinian home while Warriors interns with his dad to work the case
The case is probably something like Spirit being accused to doing something illegal at his engineering internship when in reality he was a whistleblower for some massively unsafe work practices
Except Warriors messes the case horrifically to the point where Spirit not only loses but his reputation is ruined, and that's not to mention that Warriors's had terrorized Spirit the entire summer
Needless to say that this was the last straw and Lincoln disowned him and kicked him out
Warriors has nowhere else to go, so he blows his savings on a huge trip around the world and disappears for a few years
When his savings are up, he ends up having to beg for a place to stay with his extended family
Up until this point, he's been a high living city boy (like New York), but everyone in the family who isn't a Harkinian is living in farm country
So this small home town has the majority of the Chain living there more or less, and Warriors has to adjust to having a massive wrench thrown into his life plans
So Warriors begs for a place to stay, and what do you know, Time takes him in
Except, Warriors doesn't know he and Time know each other from before. See here, that same time period Warriors was working on the case, their distant cousin was also staying with him and Spirit.
Despite being older than him, this cousin had a massive baby face and hadn't hit his growth spurt yet, so they all thought he was still in high school
And now that Time has finally grown, aged, and got face tattoos; he's utterly unrecognizable
Warriors can't ever remember meeting Time before, but he also hasn't been to a family reunion for years, so he just smiles and nods and goes along with it
Between his soul-searching trip, therapy, being away from the city, and having some consequences be knocked into him, Warriors has started to get over his emotional issues and decides he wants to give college another try and maybe get into law school on his own merits
And he starts to make friends with all of his other distant cousins, who all turn out to be really cool people
(Wind is still younger than Spirit, but he's still his uncle by virtue of people in his family having babies very late and too early in life)
Plus all of Warriors's distant cousins barely know anything about the Harkinian branch of the family, so he gets to skirt by unnoticed
The entire origin of the AU is the idea of how funny a modern family reunion would be when the Harkinians are this infamous branch of the family who are both extremely successful and a total mess. Rumor has it that Lincoln disowned his kid. He and Warriors get into a fight by the open bar and Warriors splashes a margarita on him. Lincoln married some guy from the Dragmire family (who have wronged our family for six generations now!) but Ganondorf actually seems like he's ok and honestly we like him better than any of the other Harkinians so he can stay. Plus he goes to all of Warriors's school plays and talks about him and Linkle like they're his own kids. Apparently this massive bit of drama happened in their family a few years back and Time is the only one who knows what happened but refuses to speak about it because then he'd have to take a side and he's not willing to do that.
Anyway, eventually Lincoln comes back into Warriors's life because something from the case Warriors screwed up is relevant in this civil suit and Warriors's expertise would be greatly appreciated
So Warriors is flung back into not only city living, but workings of the rich folk as he tries to right his wrongs
of course he brings his favorite cousins with him (or more like they invite themselves)
And Spirit has disappeared at this point, but basically he ended up abandoning his degree and is now making a good life for himself as a car mechanic
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fruitcoops · 3 years
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Hi!! I was wondering if you could do another fic involving jules and coops together? Just like sweet moments between the three? I loved the baby sitting series you did and could not stop thinking about it❤️❤️ Thank you!!
Yeah, of course! I love writing my boy at any opportunity. SW credit goes to @lumosinlove, but the relatives are my ocs!
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Sirius asked under his breath as Remus finally—finally—appeared from the mass of people.
“It’s fine,” Remus said around a forced smile to a middle-aged man across the yard.
Sirius hid his mouth by pretending to look down at the nearest casserole dish. He didn’t even know what was in it; nobody had bothered with labels, and everyone’s dishes were the same basic florals in different colors. “I love you, Re, and I totally get the whole ‘meet the parents’ thing, but this is a bit much if I’m being honest.”
“Honey.” Remus’ shoulder pressed against his own. “I’m sorry you’re not having a good time, but my Aunt Jen would skin me alive if I didn’t bring the man I’m marrying to the family reunion. We can leave tomorrow if you really hate—oh, no.”
“Remus!” a shrill, excited voice called. Sirius felt his fiancé straighten up as a tall, redheaded woman in star-painted jeans hurried across the grass with three other women in tow. She reached up and gave Remus’ cheeks a squish, then leaned in a planted a lipstick-stamped kiss to his forehead. “How are you, my duckling? Was your flight alright? Make sure you stay away from the salt or else your feet will swell.”
“Hi, Aunt Jen,” Remus said, grimacing a little at her rib-crushing hug. “I’m doing well, and our flight was fine. How are you?”
“Peachy keen,” she assured him. Dark brown eyes lasered in on Sirius half a second later and he felt his fight or flight kick in. “And who are you?”
“Aunt Jen, this is—”
“It was rhetorical, honey,” Jen interrupted with a pat to Remus’ arm as she stepped closer to Sirius and immediately hauled him in for a hug. She was as tall as Remus, but broader in the shoulders and hips; he had never felt so engulfed by someone. It was a strangely enjoyable feeling.
“Aren’t you a handsome one?” the shortest of the group cooed, as if she was talking to a particularly small dog in a purse. “Our Remus always knew how to pick them.”
Remus furrowed his brows. “Aunt Lisa, this is the first boyfriend I’ve—”
“But he’s not just a boyfriend!” Jen trilled, giving Sirius’ cheek a pat. “He’s a fiancé, something I learned from your mother. Not from your father—oh, I gave him a talking-to about that—and not from you, duck.”
Sirius bit back a laugh at the nickname and spared a glance to his left, where Remus had gone pink all the way to his ears. “Sorry.”
“Introduce us!” the shortest insisted, taking the other two by the hands as pulling them forward with an eager smile.
“Everyone, this is Sirius Black, my fiancé.” Remus gestured between them, and the four women beamed at him. “Sirius, this is Aunt Jen, Aunt Lisa, Aunt Allison, and Aunt Mary, my dad’s sisters.”
“It’s lovely to meet you,” Sirius said, holding a hand out.
“No need to be so formal,” the brunette grumbled with a teasing grin. “We have heard so much about you from Lyall. After those damned pictures—”
“Allison,” Jen hissed.
“—after the damned pictures,” Allison repeated with a pointed look. “I was about ready to drive up to Gryffindor myself and give that lousy son of a bitch a piece of my mind—”
“Allison!”
“—but Lyall talked me down and I have been waiting to meet you ever since.” She finished with a soft huff and gave his arm a quick squeeze. “Remus is a lucky boy to have you. It’s very exciting to see you in person at last.”
Sirius’ heart gave a happy little ka-thump and he smiled. “I’m glad to be here. Thank you for having me.”
“He is so polite,” Lisa said to Remus out of the corner of her mouth with a wink and a thumbs-up. “Good choice.”
“You know what I just realized? We haven’t said hello to Jules yet. We’ll see you in a few, yeah?” Without waiting for an official answer, Remus wrapped an arm around Sirius’ waist and practically carried him away from the table. Once they were out of earshot—and the aunts had busied themselves with one of the younger Lupins—Remus relaxed with a slow exhale. “I am…so sorry.”
“For what?”
“I had no idea they were going to corner you like that. I mean, I did, but I was hoping it wouldn’t be for another few hours. They tend to move in a pack at reunions, like sharks. Or wolves.”
“They’re really sweet.”
“They are,” Remus said grudgingly, though Sirius could read the affection dripping off him like his favorite book. “My dad’s the youngest of five, and I was the first nephew. You can imagine how that went.”
“Baby of the baby?”
“Exactly.”
“Can I ask one thing?” Remus nodded, visibly confused, and Sirius found he couldn’t keep his grin down any longer. “Duckling?”
“I hoped you didn’t hear that,” he groaned as they headed toward the kids’ play area beneath a large oak. “Long story short, it involved five-year-old me, a pond, and a sinus infection that made me sound like a duck when I sneezed.”
“Oh my god,” Sirius laughed, earning himself a light elbow to the ribs. “And the name stuck?”
“Considering she was the one that had to stay with me while my folks were working, she could call me whatever the hell she wanted. Please don’t ask her about it unless you want a thirty-minute TED talk about the ins and outs of my sinuses.”
“She’s a doctor?”
“No, she just overshares.”
“Sirius!”
Sirius looked up and saw a herd of small children racing toward them, led by his favorite person under the age of eighteen; Jules crashed into his legs and squeezed him tight around the waist. “Hey, I missed you!”
Jules propped his chin below Sirius’ sternum and stared up at him with the classic hazel-gold eyes that were far more common than Sirius believed before they arrived in the Lupins’ backyard. “I missed you, too! How’s the team? How’s Harry? Is he still super small or did he do that weird thing that babies do where their legs grow and the rest of them still looks normal? How was your flight? Did you have turbulence?”
Sirius thought for a moment. “Good, also good, growing normally, and yes.”
“Sweet! Come play cornhole with us!” Jules grabbed his hand and dragged him along the grass at the closest thing he could manage to a sprint with Sirius’ added weight—the pre-teen years had lent him gangly legs, though he didn’t seem quite sure how to use them yet. He looked more like a foal than a sixth-grader.
“What the hell is cornhole?” Sirius muttered as the flock of kids ran ahead to grab armfuls of beanbags.
Remus grinned. “Something I’m about to kick your ass at.”
------------------------------------
By the time the sun set, Sirius was exhausted. He had been introduced to dozens of people who looked just enough like Remus to be eerie, as well as plenty who seemed to have been acquired by one Lupin or another over the course of their life. Jules fluctuated between laminating himself to Sirius’ side and disappearing for an hour at a time, only to return more grass-stained and rumpled than ever as he begged Remus to swing him around by the ankles again. His ass had been thoroughly kicked at cornhole and freeze tag; it was a true miracle he hadn’t already passed out into a food coma. For all of his earlier griping, Sirius couldn’t think of a time in recent months when he had been more content.
“You’re a brave soul,” Remus remarked as they sat in the grass together and watched the fireflies wake. Though it was a warm night, it seemed the citronella candles littering the tables were doing their job of chasing off mosquitoes.
Sirius leaned his head on Remus’ shoulder. He smelled like grass and summertime and sunbaked warmth. “Am I?”
“Mhmm. I’m sure most people would have run screaming by now.”
“I like your family.”
A beat of silence passed; Remus rested his temple against the top of Sirius’ head. “I’m really glad to hear that. They’re weird and loud, but I love them.”
“And I love you.”
“Are you saying I’m weird and loud?”
“On occasion.”
“Asshole,” Remus laughed, giving him a nudge that hardly qualified as more than a gentle sway.
“Language, there are eight million kids around.”
“They’re busy.”
Sirius watched as small group run by in a wave of giggles, all clutching mason jars of fireflies with their names written on masking tape. “Thank you again for asking me to come with you.”
“Like I said, Aunt Jen would—”
“Remus.” He fell quiet. Sirius didn’t remember the last time he said Remus’ full name aloud. “Your family loves you so much. They’re everything I ever wanted growing up, and it means the world that you wanted to share them with me. All they want is to see you happy. It was amazing to finally meet them.”
“They really, really love you,” Remus said softly, his voice a little thick. “I had about twenty people tell me how wonderful you are. They all thanked me for bringing you, and not a single one mentioned the celebrity thing. Even my Uncle Jay didn’t say a word about hockey.”
“He was the one in the jersey?”
“I’ve known him for my entire life and I’ve never seen him without one.”
“Huh.” Sirius tucked his face closer to Remus’ neck and let the sound of the bullfrogs in a distant marsh lull him. “What time is it?”
“Almost eleven. The adults will be up for a while, but the kids will start crashing soon.”
Footsteps on the cool grass rustled to their right and Sirius looked up. “Who wants pie?” Aunt Allison singsonged, breaking their quiet bubble with paper plates and utensils. “This one is blackberry, but we have peach, pumpkin, and a few others on the table if you’re still hungry.”
“Just a small piece, please,” Sirius said.
Allison paused and cocked her head, then burst out laughing. “Oh, you’re funny!”
“I am?”
“Don’t fight it,” Remus whispered.
“You are a growing boy,” Allison said as she cut a thick slice and plonked it onto his plate. “And there’s no such thing as too much pie.”
I’m 26, Sirius wanted to say, though he held it in. “Just a small one for me, as well,” Remus said.
“Ha!” Allison snorted. “You’re already too skinny. Eat your pie or you’ll end up a string bean like your father. The NHL might have given you muscle, but it’s useless if you don’t enjoy some of your favorite aunt’s—”
“—woah, hey now—”
“—pie once in a while.” Allison kissed the tops of their heads once both plates were secure and bowing in the middle. “I’m going to make sure the kids aren’t poking around in the river again. Sleep well, you two.”
Sirius stared down at his plate as she wandered away. “I’m honestly going to die if I eat this.”
“Yeah, please don’t make yourself sick on pie. You really don’t have to eat all of that. The aunts and uncles are convinced that none of us are eating properly once we turn eighteen.”
“Really?”
“I wish I was kidding. You’re going to sleep so well tonight, though.”
As if on cue, Sirius stifled a yawn with the back of his hand and cuddled under Remus’ arm again. A familiar shadow bounded over not two seconds later and he barely held down a groan. “Hey, can I join you?”
Remus shrugged. “ ‘course.”
“Sweet.” Jules settled himself across their laps, staring at the sky with his head pillowed on Sirius’ thigh. “Did you have fun? I’m really glad you could come.”
“I had a great time,” Sirius answered honestly. Now please move on so I can take a nap.
“Mom and dad and me got here yesterday, and Aunt Jen kept checking the door for you guys even though she knew you weren’t coming until today. She was worried you wouldn’t like us, I think.”
“That was never an option, Jules.”
“Yeah, I know.” A devilish grin flickered over his face. “Remus is the weirdest of all of us, and if you want to marry him—”
“Get off,” Remus grumbled, shoving Jules’ legs onto the picnic blanket. “You know, you were a lot nicer before you turned eleven. Can I return you and get a new one? I have the receipt somewhere.”
“Nope.”
“That’s all a birth certificate is, right?” Sirius raised his eyebrows. “If you bring it back in good condition, I hear they give you a ten percent discount.”
Jules scowled. “That’s so not true.”
“How do you think I got Regulus?”
“Isn’t it past your bedtime?” Remus asked with a pointed look. “Run along, problem child.”
“Of the two of us, I’m the least problematic.” Despite his words, Jules clambered to his feet and dusted his hands off over Remus’ head. “I’m not the one that got a secret boyfriend and got engaged in a year. I’m so easy. Mom and dad want two of me.”
“Keep telling yourself that,” Remus sighed as he stretched out on the blanket. “They had a second kid because they wanted two of me.”
“You’re adopted.”
Remus cracked one eye open in disbelief. “No, I’m not.”
“How do you know?”
“Because—y’know what, go to bed. Or go find the stampede, I think they’re by the river.”
Sirius whistled lowly as Jules scampered off again. “That was impressive. Isn’t your aunt over there?”
“Yep.”
Realization clicked into place. “She’s going to make him go to bed.”
“Yep.”
“You’re brilliant.”
Remus smiled without opening his eyes, and tugged Sirius down by the sleeve to lay next to him. “You’re just figuring that out now?”
The stars were brighter than anywhere Sirius had ever seen; for a moment, he was struck speechless by the endless rivers of sparkling white overhead. He stared until his eyes burned from dryness, then put his head on Remus’ chest and kept on looking. There was no way he could tear his gaze from it. A few shooting stars streaked across the clear sky and he felt his heart skip a beat in pure amazement when he realized there was nothing else he would wish for in that moment. He could listen to Remus’ heartbeat and the sound of his new family talking against a backdrop of the night, relishing in a full belly and cool wind, and simply stay there for as long as he liked.
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twilightdruig · 3 years
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help?
pairing : george weasley x fem!reader
summary : “hi i’m your neighbor and while i know we’ve never spoken but you’re a single parent of two and my sister recently died leaving me to raise her infant and i have no idea what i’m doing, help?” au
warnings : swearing , mentions of character deaths , fluff , au where george lives alone with his two children in a cottage near the burrow , au where fred and cedric live.
words : 2.6k
a/n : this is my first fic so it’s probably gonna be shit (as you can probably tell i’m not good with titles either) but yeah hope you enjoy :> and i might do a little part 2 on this soon
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holly l/n was loved by multiple. a sweet hufflepuff student who was favored by all the teachers and students. her sister, y/n was a scary and intimidating gryffindor who hung out in the library.
ever since the battle of hogwarts death eaters have been imprisoned in azkaban. but, that didn’t mean all harm was gone.
now here y/n l/n was, standing in the heat of the summer, her nephew connor l/n mourning the death of a family member.
the service was beautiful. a few hogwarts students came including luna lovegood and neville longbottom and professor sprout and professor flitwick decided to pay their respects. headmistress mcgonagall sent her condolences through a letter as well.
conner wasn’t old enough to go to hogwarts yet. there was no one else for holly to leave connor with. her husband, ronan died during the war, all connor’s grandparents died and the only appointed godparents were holly’s best friend cedric diggory and her sister y/n.
cedric diggory was now teaching first year flying at hogwarts and is married to cho chang.
y/n was currently doing nothing with her life. she wanted to live alone in a cottage, reading, stitching, picking apples and getting drunk on fruity cocktails. but now? she had to take care of her sister’s spoiled son.
y/n hated children more than she hated the people in her own hogwarts house. more so, she didn’t know how to take care of them.
she had to enroll her nephew in hogwarts, teach him basic life skills and other stuff like that. there goes her life goal on being that cool stoner aunt that hates love and children.
“shit, connor!” y/n exclaimed as her 3 year old nephew accidentally ate a ton tongue toffee made by the joke shop in diagon alley owned by the weasleys.
“sorry aunty y/n”
she was never close to the weasleys. all of them, stereotypical gryffindors, loud and chaotic and always the main characters.
the only thing she knew about them is that one of the twins live next to her. y/n didn’t know how to shrink his tongue and thought it was quite the convenience that he lives next door. he was a single dad with two daughters, maybe he could help her control her nephew and technically her adopted son, now.
she sighed. “put on your coat, we’re visiting our neighbors, ok con?” the little boy nodded in response
went the small cottage came into view, there were two little girls picking flowers on the front yard and a tall red-headed man on the porch watching them.
“hey! weasley!” she yelled with a small smile as she approached the small gate.
“l/n? what are you doing here?” george asked
y/n gestured to her nephew who was holding his now 3 foot long tongue. “he accidentally ate one of your products and i’m not entirely sure how to fix it”
“right, right” he laughed “come on, connor right? i’ll reverse that”
y/n felt a tug at her oversized cardigan. she looked down to see two identical ginger twins.
“hi there!” one smiled.
“hello!” y/n tried to sound as nice as possible. looking back at her teenage years she remembered laughing at kids who fell of their brooms their brooms when she’d watch first year flying. she remembered laughing at seamus finnigan when something blew up in his face. or when she’d laugh at any kid accidentally getting hurt.
“these are for you! they’re pretty just like you” the other twin exclaimed.
“i’m charlotte and she’s billie” charlotte giggled.
“how do u know our daddy?” billie asked
“oh! um, we went to school together and i live just next door” y/n replied
“do you know our uncle freddie?”
“i know all your uncles and your aunt ginny, aunt hermione and uncle harry. they were all famous when we were in school”
“wow!” they both exclaimed
george and connor came back out. “look aunty y/n! my tongue’s normal again!”
“aunty?” george questioned. “holly. she died quite recently.”
“oh! i’m so sorry. i heard about her. yeah. i believe mum sent some flowers for the service”
“yeah we received them”
“i’ll see you around?” george inquired
“yeah, yeah. and i might need some parenting advice? you knew how i was back at hogwarts”
“i am flattered, dear l/n”
“oh hush. and they get along.” she pointed to the three children running around.
“they do. and yes, i would love to help you tame that little rascal” george laughed.
“thank you, george. really.”
“i’m just next door, yeah?”
“yeah” y/n smiled “come on, connor. we’re going home. but we’ll definitely be seeing these lovely ladies soon.”
“bye pretty lady!” y/n heard two young voices call after her
“daddy, who was she?”
“is she gonna be our new mommy?”
george and y/n had been hanging out for the past weeks. he had given her advice on taking care of connor and how to deal with children. they also spent time talking about family and their time back at hogwarts. she was told about the attack of death eaters at one of his brothers’ wedding and how his daughters were named after his brothers bill and charlie.
a knock at y/n’s door interrupted her reading.
“oi, l/n!” she heard a familiar voice on the other side of the door.
“weasley” she muttered.
connor recognized george’s voice and the twins’ giggles, he decided he would take matters into his own little hands. connor knew how stubborn his aunt was at the young age of seven.
“hi billie! hi charlotte! hi uncle george!” the little boy squealed.
“hey there, con!” george ruffled his hair while billie and charlotte ran over to y/n.
connor and the twins were two years apart. connor was going to hogwarts the next year. no doubt would he be trouble to professor mcgonagall but everyone knew they were always her favorites.
“aunty y/n! uncle george brought cookies!” connor yelled excitedly. y/n was never the type to bake or cook. she did try to but it always ended in almost burning the house down. she usually fed connor fruits or store bought food.
“you didn’t have to” y/n responded while taking the plastic box.
“oh yes i did” he teased “i heard you’ve been starving this poor little fellow”
“daddy didn’t bake those cookies” charlotte stated “grandma did” billie continued
“oh” she smirked at george then turned to the twins “tell your grandma i say thanks!”
“uncle george! i wanna show you something outside! the twins can come too!”
“connor, what are you gonna show them?” y/n grumbled.
“your paintings! they’re amazing” her nephew jumped.
“paintings, eh?” george smiled “okay, let’s go, champ. see those paintings of your aunt.” the two scurried outside, two redheaded girls following after.
y/n groaned and fell back into the couch, finishing her book.
it’s been a few days since george and the twins came with cooking to y/n and connor’s cottage. she wanted to throw connor a little surprise birthday party.
connor has loved the twins and george so much, he thinks of them as blood relatives. y/n decided to call up cedric and cho to look after connor while she’d do some errands.
the two arrived exactly on time as y/n was preparing to go out. she had on a simple cardigan and loose denim pants.
“ced! cho! hi, how are you guys?” y/n greeted as she saw her old friends apparate into the cottage.
“hi y/n!” cho greeted “hey nerd” cedric snickered.
she sent cedric a small glare before connor jumped at the two.
“uncle ceddy! aunty cho! you’re here” he shouted.
“yeah buddy! your aunt’s gonna run some errands and visit your uncle georgie?” cedric winked at y/n. she had been owling cedric about george and how he’s been helping her with connor.
“are you going out with uncle george?” connor asked, eyes twinkling.
“i don’t know, actually. i might check him out next door.”
“george weasley?” cho teased.
“yes, cho,” y/n rolled her eyes “but on that note, i have to go”
“bye, connor! behave okay?” she crouched down and squished his cheeks.
“bye, ced! cho!” her voice faded when she dashed out the door.
y/n passed george’s cottage to see if he actually might want to come with her and do errands.
she was standing outside the small gate, hesitating. ‘maybe he was busy’ ‘he wouldn’t want to do errands with me’ ‘maybe he would if i told him it was for connor’s birthday’ she thought. y/n didn’t know why she was overthinking her choices. the first time she was standing right outside the gate she bursted in and demanded george to fix whatever happened to her nephew. now, she was nervous. her palms were sweaty and clammy.
she pushed herself in and walked to the front porch. she knocked a few times and was met with a head of messy brown hair.
“hermione?!” she squealed
“y/n!” hermione jumped to hug her old friend.
there were overlapping voices in the background and when they pulled away she was met with multiple mops of ginger hair, a head of blonde hair and another with black hair behind hermione.
“l/n?” ginny weasley asked, quite shocked what she would be doing outside george’s door.
“oh! did i interrupt something? i am so sorry!” she said feeling a bit nervous.
“oh! you must be the dearest y/n george keeps talking about!” an old woman she thought was mrs. weasley approached her from behind her children.
“hi there!” y/n said feeling a little embarrassed she might’ve barged in on a family reunion.
“ah! l/n? i have heard of your family! muggle-borns right?” arthur weasley joined his wife.
“uh, yeah!” she pursed her lips “i am so so sorry i interrupted! i should go. tell george i’ll swing by next time”
“oh it’s absolutely alright, dear” molly reassured her.
“george! there’s a really pretty girl! get your arse out here!” fred yelled to george who was probably inside the house.
“is she here?” charlotte and billie ran to the door.
“hi girls! tell you dad i was here yeah? say i’ll come by next time” most of the weasleys came back in. she took it as her time to go on with her day.
“oi! y/n! wait up” the voice she recognized as george’s called after her.
“george, hey”
“where’r you off to?” george pointed to the small bag that was swung over her shoulder.
“errands. connor’s birthday is coming up so i thought i’d prepare something for him. first birthday without his mum, you know”
“his birthday’s coming up?” george looked as excited as a child on christmas morning.
“yeah. why?” she smiled
“you’re talking to one of the best party planners there is. you also did talk to another one of them… i think”
“fred?”
“oh yeah”
“i wanted to ask if you wanted to come but seeing as to your family is in your house… i’m gonna take a wild guess and say you aren’t available right now” she giggled.
“maybe if you went another day” he said sympathetically. george really wanted to go and prepare connor’s party with her. he treated him like his own and boy did he remind him of how fun it was to be a kid. he loved his aunt so much it was adorable.
“george. seriously, it’s okay. spend time with your family” she laughed.
“yeah, yeah. i’ll see you when you get back” he waved.
connor’s small birthday gathering was in full swing. y/n became acquainted with george’s siblings. bill, charlie, percy (whom she was actually friends with back in hogwarts), fred, ron and ginny. hermione was a very good friend of hers and so was harry. she recognized fleur from that day in the cottage as beauxbatons triwizard champion.
connor had quite a bunch of guests for his birthday. cedric, cho, luna, neville, fred, percy, ron, harry, hermione, bill and fleur and their little victorie. of course, billie and charlotte helped george and y/n fix up the party. mr. and mrs. weasley sent a small cake for connor when they heard about y/n not knowing asingle thing about cooking.
fred offered to take care of the twins and connor while george and y/n ran off somewhere. the two found themselves near a small creek. y/n explained how the cottage was where she’d go off exploring and the only person who knew was holly. she was overjoyed when her sister got the cottage she used as a hideaway.
george was surprised when there were lights and blankets and everything. the soft sounds of running water was calming.
the two were pretty intoxicated when they sat down; stumbled onto the picnic blanket. y/n was sober enough to not spill her deepest darkest secrets. george on the other hand…
“have i ever told you how pretty you are?” george mumbled next to her. y/n only snickered and blushed.
“um, can i hold your hand?” he continued, taking a look at the girl next to him.
“sure” she winked.
“you know” he started again “i actually fancied you a bit back in school”
“yeah?” she rolled over to her side “i wonder… what did you like about me?”
“i don’t even know. my heart just felt so full with you. still does, right now, holding your hand, under the stars by a stream.” he had this glint in his eye when he looks at her.
“hey,” she brushed some hair out of his face “these past few months have been great. and you’re a huge help with connor. you know i’ll always be there for you, right?”
“yeah darling,” he yawned “yeah”
“wait, george!” she sat up “no. don’t fall asleep!”
“fuck” she groaned before falling back down on the blanket.
“i think i love you” she whispered.
morning rolled around and they were still lying somewhere in the forest behind the cottage. some childish chatter and laughs were heard from where they were still sleeping soundly.
until, a red ant bit y/n and george’s intertwined hands. “ah shit!” y/n woke up from the bite. her yell also woke up the sleeping man next to her “what?! what happened?” he jumped.
“oh. did i wake you up?” she asked.
“no. it’s honestly no worries” he said “but i do have a killer headache”
“an ant bit me” she muttered, wanting to scratch it.
“hey, no don’t scratch! i’ve had a lot if experience with insect bites” he explained “want me to kiss it better?” he teased.
“oh, ha-ha” she rolled her eyes but blushed.
“we should probably head back” he checked his watch while standing up.
“ah! there the lovebirds are!” fred exclaimed.
everyone was cleaning up from last night. there were children running around while chasing balloons and each other.
“yeah,” george started “we, um, fell asleep”
“sure ya did” this time ron teased the two.
“i’m gonna clean up here,” y/n offered “you guys should go home. you know, get some rest”
cedric gasped “y/n l/n! are you kicking us out?” he said in mock offense.
“technically, yeah. i doubt connor got any sleep”
“maybe we should,” fleur said with her accent “victorie was very excited for the party she is very worn out”
george snuck behind y/n “i think i love you too” he muttered under his breath. he wasn’t sure if she heard it. she did.
“i’ll see you later, y/n!” he yelled “come on, princesses, we’re going home. we’ll see connor and y/n later”
connor and the twins hugged while y/n said thank you’s to all the guests.
maybe it wasn’t such a bad decision to ask for help.
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It Was Always You
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A/N- HEY HEY! This was our first time writing for Coco and we had so so so much fun and we are now starting to feel our boy Johnny more. (or at least I know I am- Britt)
Cheers to Coco, the man who deserves so much more than he has been given thus far! 🥰😘😍
We also have a group chat that you can join and we will post our fic updates in that! 
Thanks so much everyone! We love youuuu!!! 
Imagine: You and Coco grew up together. The pair of you were the best of friends, inseparable right up until he met the woman who would eventually become the mother of his child. From there, you started studying hard in an attempt to get out of Santo Padre and into New York's best writing program. Coco on the other hand spiraled out of control, he was incarcerated and then later he enlisted into the marines. You kept tabs on him, but ultimately you focused on school. You got into the writing program of your dreams, you moved to New York and everything was perfect...so yeah, every now and then you had to ignore the voice in your head that told you that you missed Coco and should call him..but you leaned to cancel that voice out.
Every year for your parents birthday you would facetime them and send them a gift in the mail. As a huge editor to a very popular magazine, you couldn't afford to take time off. This year however, your father was sick, and you knew you needed to see him.
So you packed your bags, jumped on a plane and flew out to Santo Padre. The entire flight you were nervous and you kept fidgeting in your seat.
You had not set foot inside Santo Padre since you were 19 years old. You were in your early 30s now. So many things had changed, but deep down you knew in your soul that one thing remained the same....
Your love for Coco.
You parked in front of your parents’ home, letting out a sigh. Driving through Santo Padre, memories hit you left and right, thinking of shooting the shit with your cousins, sneaking out to smoke some weed at the outskirts of town around a bonfire. 
Santo Padre held such sweet memories for you, but they were also bittersweet. You passed by the park where you and Johnny used to play as children, your love for him growing from there. You passed by the elementary school where you and Johnny held each other down during the third grade, shared lunch since Celia was the worst fucking mother. You passed by the middle school where you realized you had a crush on your best friend. You passed by the high school where you and Johnny eventually grew apart. 
Coco, it was a nickname you fondly gave him, a nickname you made for him and it just stuck. You can’t even recall why you called him Coco, but here you two were now, apart and strangers. But you had to do what you had to do. Seeing Coco with another woman was hard enough, knowing they had a child? It was even worse. But in some ways, you were happy for Coco, it was his chance to have a family.
Even though your family was essentially his. Your parents adored Johnny Cruz. He was always so good with them, helped your mother whenever he was over, learned the ins and outs of car mechanics with your father. He was essentially an adopted son, but when you pulled away, your parents respectively did as well. 
You were startled by the knock on your window. You looked to the side and found your father, looking frailer than usual, but a bright smile still on his face. You returned his smile and quickly got out of your car. Feeling your father’s warm embrace, it made you regret not coming home much more often. You weren’t obtuse, you knew your time with your parents were slowly dimming, it was the harsh reality of life. But you were going to make sure your father was going to be healthy so he could come visit you as he intended to later this year for Christmas. 
“How are you?” You questioned as you pulled away.
“I’m fine, your mother was overreacting. I had pneumonia, it takes the wind out of you, but I’m feeling better. I even helped Coco with this car he got for his daughter.” Your father froze at his words and he sighed. “You know we’ve been talking to Coco.”
And you did, your parents were always honest with you and when you left, they rekindled their relationship with Coco. They excused that one kid was out of the way, at least they still had their other. It made your heart clench when they said that, it was even worse when your mother wanted to update you about Coco, but you refused. No matter how much time had passed, your love for Coco was still ever present, but you figured it would.
He was your first love, and you never had closure. 
“Pops, thanks again.” His voice made the butterflies in your stomach go crazy, you almost felt embarrassed how juvenile it was. “Leticia should be coming in a few hours, if she gives you shit let me know.” He couldn’t see you since your father was blocking your way. As frail as your father was, he was 6′4, 250 pounds, he covered anyone. 
“Coco, you know Leticia loves us, she can be like you, but we’ve done well with you.” Your father moved to the side and Coco’s steps halted, stopping at the middle of the street.
“Hello Johnny.”
Coco blinked a few times as he continued to stare at you. The expression that was plastered on his face made him look like he had seen a ghost.
Your father cleared his throat and that seemed to snap both you and Coco out of your trance.
“I’ll be inside…oh and Johnny, Selena is making dinner tonight if you want to stay. It's homemade enchiladas.”
Coco let out a tiny groan that made your stomach clench as the sound made your thoughts darken to a more impure path.
You felt the blood rush to your face- you had not even been home for thirty minutes and you were already thinking about dragging Coco to your old room.
You took another kick to the stomach as you remembered that Coco never belonged to you that way, he never wanted you that way and he never would. In the past you had hoped, but almost a decade had passed by and he never bothered to reach out.
If he had truly had anything to say to you he would have at least sent you a damn text message.
“Yeah- yeah enchiladas sounds good pops… I just gotta call Letty.” Coco responded
Your dad waved him off.
“Nonsense, she is welcomed too. It’s a family reunion.”
You bit down in your jaw and tried not to outwardly cringe at your dad. He truly was making this more awkward than it needed to be.
“See ya kids inside” He said as he walked off.
Coco watches your dad for a second before he looked back at you. It seemed the initial shock had worn off because he gave you a small smile and shuffled over to you.
“Damn long time no see chica, how the hell have you been?” Coco asked
His voice sent goosebumps crawling up your arms and you couldn’t help the warm feeling that spread through your body as you locked eyes with him.
“I’ve been good, busy… but ya know. Good…..you? What’s um… what’s a Mayan?” You asked as your eyes hovered on the leather kutte he was wearing.
Coco glanced down at his kutte as if he didnt wear it all the time. His eyebrows furrowed before he looked back up at you and huffed out a nervous sounding laugh.
“Its a motorcycle uh club.” He responded
You leveled him with a look, half of you wanted to push him for more information because he was clearly hiding something, the other half just wanted to catch up with him like the old days.
“Ah… so what’s been going on with you? I see you’re still stalking my parents.” You joked as you moved to pick up your suitcase.
Coco laughed and moved quickly to scoop up your bag. As he took the handle in his hand, his fingers brushed over yours and it sent a shockwave through your body that you had not been expecting.
You let out a small gasp and Coco just stared at you with his intense, soul piercing gaze.
You swallowed thickly and moved around his body so that you could make your way to the house.
“I don’t stalk, I’m welcomed here. I’m like their son they never had.” Coco joked back
You snorted but didn't respond. How could you when his joke had landed harder than he had meant for it to.
“So you and Leticia are close huh…I’m glad to hear that Johnny. If I’m being honest I was worried about you… especially since I never heard from you after I left.”
Coco stopped walking and his actions halted yours. You glanced over your shoulder and raised a questioning eyebrow at him.
“What?” You asked as he stared at you.
“I’m sorry you know…. for like never reaching out. I-I figured you were out in New York doing big things and uh..I–I didn’t want to bring you down so uh, I never reached out.”
Your heart clinched at his words and you turned your entire body around to face him. Your feet began to take on a mind of their own and you found yourself walking over to him, stopping only when you were about a foot away from him.
“Johnny…seriously? You were my best friend, I cared about you, I could have never seen you as someone who would have brought me down.”
Coco dipped his head and stared at the ground in silence as he took in your words. You desperately wanted to know what he was thinking, but you knew you couldn’t push him, so instead you stood there in silence, waiting for him to respond to you.
You sighed, somehow you always found yourself waiting for Coco Cruz.
Coco knew you were waiting for him to respond. But where does he even begin? He was sorry he basically walked away from you after he met Alejandra? That he was sorry that he didn’t have the balls to talk to you? To reach out to you? That every day for the past decade, the itch to call, to text you was always great, but it heightened during your birthday or the holidays? It was acceptable to text people during the holidays with no pretenses besides the fact it was the holidays, but you were too special to Coco for that. 
And he was a fucking idiot. 
He didn’t know where exactly it went wrong. He just knew that after he met Alejandra, you ceased to exist in his life and he didn’t even know how to make it right. If anything, he didn’t want to make it right since he spiraled out of control. If Coco was going to ruin his life, he would do it on his own, he could never drag you down with him. It would kill him, knowing he was the reason you were stuck in this god forsaken town. He got out and came right fucking back.
But not you, you were Ms. New York now. 
Missing you never became easier, but it became easier to hide it. Though during the time he was intoxicated, where his inhibitions were low, he called out for you then, it was pathetic, but he couldn’t help it. You were the best part of his life and he was blinded by everything. In hindsight, he felt that he did it himself, to let you see your potential, but he couldn’t credit your greatness to him.
You’ve reached your dreams and it was further proof that you didn’t need him, that you were much better without him. 
You waited patiently at what seemed like forever, but Coco finally opened his mouth to speak. 
“Because after what happened, how I abandoned you during your time of need, I never forgave myself for that. You may not see me as someone who brought you down, but I did. Look at where you are now, if I stayed put, you would be stuck in this fucking town with me.” He grimaced, saying it aloud hurt him much more than he would like to admit. 
“What do you mean?” You were confused as to what he was referring to. High school was tough, but it wasn’t unbearable. 
“When your abuela died, I was so fucking high, you called me ten times and I didn’t fucking answer.” You couldn’t recall that day much, the only thing you remembered was your mother holding you, trying to soothe you the best you can. 
But you guessed that was when things changed for you two. You began to stop relying on Coco, replying to his messages, but not going out of your way to talk to him. It wasn’t all on him, losing your grandmother was hard on you and the following years went by like a breeze. You immersed yourself in school work because you knew she wanted you to further yourself. 
So you did. Trying to distance yourself from Johnny, find a way out of Santo Padre and make your grandmother proud, it was your driving force. 
“It’s fine Johnny shit happens.”
“Stop that, don’t brush it off like it didn’t mean shit.”
“It’s not that it didn’t mean anything, why am I gonna hold it against you that you had a life?”
“I was your best friend, but Alejandra just had this fucking hold on me.”
“She gave you the attention you wanted, can’t fault you for that.”
“What?” 
“Alejandra made you feel good about yourself, there was no pretense with her. She didn’t know you well enough so whatever you gave her, that’s what she knew about you. And she worshipped you, you were basically the greatest thing since eyeliner for her. Can’t fault you for that, you loved her.” 
Alejandra did a number on your relationship. She didn’t like how close you two were, boys and girls couldn’t be friends. They could be, but Alejandra saw how you looked at Coco and made it a mission to break you two apart. 
“I gave up Letty since Alejandra turned up to be the bitch you told me she was.” And he didn’t believe you then, he told you that you were just jealous because you had no one.
But you did have someone, you had him. When those words came out of his mouth, you realized you didn’t have him after all and it hurt you, but it pushed you away, just like what he wanted to do.
“I never cared for Alejandra, but I wanted to be there for you. You were my best friend, I could swallow whatever Alejandra threw my way as long as I had you, but you know, I didn’t.” The chuckle you let out, Coco could hear how forced it was, how you were trying to make light of the situation in some ways. “But, what’s done is done. I’m glad that you’re doing well for yourself Johnny. And it seems like you’re doing well with your daughter.” You offered him a small smile. “I always knew you would be an amazing father, you wouldn’t be like Celia or your deadbeat dad. My parents would have killed you.”
“It does matter, what happened between us, how much time I let pass, it should have never happened. It killed me that I couldn’t bite the bullet and just call you, shit,” Coco sighed. “You were the best part of my life, you gave me a family and you gave me a reason to keep pushing forward.”
“Let’s not dwell on the past, I’m just glad you’re okay.” 
If you were being honest, you just didn’t want to hash it out with Johnny in the middle of the street. Your neighbors were nosey and it was not needed drama. You also didn’t want to tell him that your mother kept you updated on the latest happenings of Johnny’s life. As much as you tried to defer, your mother knew you wanted to hear how your old friend was doing. You knew about Celia, his daughter, and how he was doing better, to some extent. You didn’t know what the hell the Mayans were, but from what you gathered, they were like a family to him. “You live across the street from my parents?”
“Yeah, your pops helped me out with it and it was easy cause I served.”
You nodded your head. “Son they never had.” You shook your head playfully rolling your eyes. 
Coco couldn’t help but look at your left hand and noticed that something was missing.
“Where’s your ring?”
At the mention of your ring your left hand clenched shut. You hid it behind your back and grimaced.
“How did you….” you asked trailing off “My dad talked to you about it??”
Coco sighed and nodded.
“He didn't mention that you broke up though… or why.” He stated
“I didn’t tell him! ” You snapped. Your ex fiance was a sore subject for you, especially since you had just called off the engagement a month ago.
Coco evaluated your body language… he knew you well enough to tell that there was a story there. He didn’t want to pry or upset you, but he also needed to know what happened.
“What happened Y/N?” He asked
“It's a long story.” You replies shortly. You didn't want Coco to find out the reason you dumped Adam. Besides, who was Coco to know practically everything about you when you knew nothing about the man he was today.
“I got time. Shit….its not like I live across the street or anything”
You rolled your eyes at his dry sarcasm as you messed with the finger that used to hold the diamond ring on it.
“It's nothing Johnny….turns out Adam wasn’t who I thought he was.”
Coco gave you that intense stare again and tgrb he smacked his lips together.
“He cheated?” Coco grilled
“Amongst other things.” You shrugged.
Coco took another step forward, effectively making the distance between your bodies smaller.
“What, is he a drunk? A liar? An addict? Controlling? Abusive?” Coco listed off all the reasons he thought you would leave someone over. He gauged your reaction for each one and then stopped when you flinched at the word abusive.
“I’ll fucking kill him.” Coco growled. 
You watched his whole body transform in front of you. He went from soft and sweet to angry and murderous in two seconds flat.
You sighed as you ran a hand through your hair.
“It's over with Johnny.” You stated
‘The fuck it is!!! I’ll cut his hands off and make him eat them, then I’ll kick his ass, then I’ll kill him.“
You couldn’t help it- a chuckle escaped your lips and you shook your head. Maybe a normal person would find this declaration insane, but you knew Coco, and you found it charming that he was so upset and ready to commit literal murder in your honor.
“I’m fine Johnny, please…please just dont tell my dad. He’s already sick and I don't need him worked up over this.” You pleaded taking another step towards your best friend.
The muscle in Coco’s jaw twitched dangerously, and you knew he was still angry, but you also knew that he would keep this secret…for you.
“Fine….but lemme see this dick on the street. I’ll have him dead on the sidewalk in no time.”
You let out a loud laugh now and before you could stop yourself you threw your body into Coco’s surprised arms. Your chest hit his firm one first , and then after the shock wore off his strong arms wrapped around your waist and he pulled you to him tightly.
His chin rested on the top of your head and you both took a moment to learn each other's new bodies. You breathed in his scent, a deep cologne mixed with cigarettes and leather. You memorized it and decided then that it was your favorite smell in the entire world.
Above you, Coco’s lips brushed your head as he kissed it gently.
“I missed you…” Coco whispered into your hair
“I missed you too…” you said without hesitation.
You could feel Coco’s lips pull into a smile before he placed another kiss on your head and pulled back to look at you.
“Listen mama, I gotta tell you something…. but you gotta hear me out and promise not to get mad, okay?”
You looked up at his worried face, and nodded in confusion.
“What is it Johnny?”
He inhaled and then slowly breathed out before the words tumbled out of his mouth like a stolen train.
“"After Alejandra I…I didn’t think I would fall for anyone again….she fucking wrecked me….but the day you moved away to New York was the day I realized how badly I fucked up. I..shit…I loved you more than anyone else and I didn’t even know it, shit maybe that was part of the reason she and I broke up, because I always loved you….. and I- I still do. Ya know….love you.”
You wanted to slap yourself, pinch yourself, anything that would give you painful stimuli so that you could wake yourself up. Were you still on the plane? Was the flight attendant about to wake you regarding your arrival to the airport?
It had to be a fucking dream.
For years, you’ve had different versions of this dream, you’ve had different versions as to how Coco would confess to you. One was back in high school, another one when he came to stop your wedding and another was during your Christmas visit, which was totally out of one of those Hallmark films. Regardless, you always thought it would remain a dream. That you would never hear such sweet words come from Coco.
Coco watched as you looked at him, speechless. Dread seeped in. Maybe it was too quick, this was your first meeting in so long. Maybe you didn’t feel the same way, he couldn’t blame you. What would you want with someone like him? Even his own flesh and blood didn’t want him. He was waiting for the let down, the ‘I’m sorry Johnny, I just see you as a friend’. He felt like he was taken back to high school, to where girls made him fucking nervous. But it was the worst with you because your opinion mattered most.
Just as you opened your mouth to reply, you heard your mother shriek out your name. You turned around and caught her, wrapping your arms around her. She pulled away, pinching your cheeks before pulling you into her embrace again. Coco loved your mom but for once, he was not happy to see her.
“My baby is home.” She cupped your cheeks. She turned to Coco and she clicked her tongue. 
“Johnny, cut your hair, you look so unkempt.” She sighed. “Trying to make me bring out my scissors.”
Coco laughed and shook his head. “I told you mama, I like the wind blowing through my hair.”
“Stubborn as always.” She shook her head but had that smile she always had for Coco. “Come, I prepared snacks. And don’t you even try to get out of it, I had Bishop give you the day off so we can spend family time.”
It dawned on you that your parents were trying to set up a reunion between you and Coco. While your father was sick, he was fully recovering. Your parents were such meddlers.
“I know what you’re doing.” You informed your mother.
“What am I doing baby?” She looked at you with such innocence in her eyes, it almost made you feel bad about accusing her, but you also knew your mother.
“Don’t faux innocence with me, I see you.” You playfully narrowed your eyes at your mother.
Selena laughed. “I think you need more sleep.”
The day went off without a hitch and you met Coco’s daughter, Leticia. You were grateful that Leticia hardly had any of Alejandra’s features. She was definitely Johnny’s child. Dinner was served and the laughter and conversations you all had was nostalgic. You felt like a child again, enjoying dinner with your parents and Johnny. Having Leticia as an addition was even better.
“Are you sure you’re okay with watching her tomorrow?” Coco questioned as you two made your way towards the front door.
“Not at all, as much as I want to get my nails done, I do not want to do it alone. This town pounces on you.” You’ve been gone for quite some time, you knew the people of this town never forget and they would be on you regarding the various rumors they heard through the years. “See you tomorrow Letty!”
She waved goodbye, crossing the street to go to their home. Coco watched her till she was inside. He turned to you and smiled. His confession from earlier was still replaying in his brain but you two have had no moment alone. With your parents in bed, it was just you and Coco.
“This was nice.” You commented.
Coco nodded his head. 
“Yeah it was.” He didn’t want to keep you up, it seemed like you had a busy day tomorrow. 
“Good night preciosa,” it was Coco’s nickname for you and to this day, the butterflies in your stomach still went wild.
“Good night Coco.”
He smiled and turned to make his way to his own home. He wanted to kiss you, to finally feel your lips against his, but he didn’t even know how you felt about him.
“Wait,” you called out, going down the few steps on your porch. “About earlier.”
“Don’t worry about it, I get it, you don’t feel the same way.” The smile on his face hurt you, it was the one he gave people to show he was okay, but he was hurting inside.
“I love you.” You didn’t beat around the bush. “It was the reason I worked so hard to leave because I couldn’t be in a place where I would have to see you be a family to someone who made it a mission to drive us apart. I couldn’t bear seeing you two together because Alejandra was right, I wish I was her, I envied her.” It felt good to let it out. “I love you Coco, I loved you then and I love you now.”
Coco froze and you watched his body transform as he took in your words. At first it didn’t seem to register with him, what you said, but then his eyes widened and a smile broke across his face making him look 10 years younger.
He let out a laugh and shook his head as he half jogged over to you. His hands came to rest on either side of your face and his thumb caressed your cheeks.
“Shit, we wasted so much time when we could have just been together.” Coco whispered
You shook your head and brought your hands up to rest on his forearms.
“We didn’t waste time Johnny, we were just getting ourselves together.”
Coco huffed but didn't disagree.
“Say it again…” He said in a way that sounded like both a command and a beg.
“I love you Johnny Coco Cruz.” You said softly while you absentmindedly traced this vein on his forearms.
Coco stared at you for two more seconds before he dipped his head and connected his lips to yours. His hands slipped down to your waist and he pulled you flush to his body while he pushed his tongue into your mouth. Coco kissed you passionately, aggressively and soft all at the same time. He took control of your mouth and he had no plans on giving it back.
Coco knew that if humans didn't need oxygen to breath, he would spend his entire life kissing your lips.
Butterflies flew in your stomach and goosebumps broke out on your skin as he traced your bottom lip with his tongue. You were trying your best to keep up with his energy but he was like a man starved.
He slowly walked you backwards, your back hit the side of your house and everything faded away. All you could focus on was Coco’s lips and how they felt so perfect against yours. His hard body was firmly pressing yours into the wall while his fingers squeezed tightly into your hip bones.
You bit down on his bottom lip and he let out a small groan. You shifted your body a tad to the left and felt a shift in the energy.
What was a simple sweet, much over do, was now quickly turning into a hot, desperate attempt to get each other in bed.
You gasped as you broke free of Coco’s lips. He tried to chase after you but you pushed him backwards by his chest.
“We need to get a room…” you laughed
Coco was quick to respond. Grabbing your hand and pulling you towards his house.
“Wait, letty….” you started
Coco ignored your question and gripped your hand tighter. He walked faster and you struggled to keep up.
The next thing you knew you were standing in Coco’s living room.
“LETICIA- I need you to leave. Go hang out with Gabi.” Coco yelled
You heard Letty open her door and listened as her footsteps made their way to the living room.
“Oh great, your having sex…. just use protection. You don't want another me.” Letty said before she smiled at you and brushed past her father.
She shut the door and left you and Coco in silence. A nervous energy washed over you as Coco leveled you with a look that sent your libido into hyperdrive.
“You sure about this?” He asked
You rolled your eyes, still surprised that he was questioning your intentions. You wound your arms around his neck and pulled him closer before you smiled.
“I’m 100% sure Coco.” You whispered before you brought his lips back down to yours.
Coco lost himself in you.
Years of longing, wanting, loving, it was all coming down. He was able to push all of this for years, fucking bitches didn’t require anything, just his dick to be hard. But with you, it was different, of course it was. He didn’t want to just devour you, he wanted all of you. The cries of pleasure, the feeling of your body in one with his, he wanted it all. He always imagined how it would be to kiss you, to be with you.
This was knocking every expectation out of the park. 
He’s never made love to a woman before and he knew if he ever did, it would be with you. For years, he wanted to contact you, to swallow his nerves, his fear, his pride, but now, the wait was well worth it. You were right, you were working on yourselves and now, he would never let you go.
He pulled you closer to him, one hand cupping your face, while the other rested against your hip. You couldn’t believe this was happening, whatever you imagined before, this blew it out of the water. You never felt this when you kissed your ex-fiance. This was something else, something more.
Coco lifted you up, carrying you to his bed, gently, he placed you down and reluctantly parted with you. He looked at you as your chest rose up and down, letting the oxygen trickle in once more. Removing his clothes, he left his boxers on, making his way over to you, causing you to move back on his bed. He wrapped his fingers around your ankles, pulling you towards him. 
“These leggings are going to fucking kill me.” His hands moved up and down your legs, shivers going down your spine. You were wet, you’ve been wet, but the way Coco’s voice dipped a lower octave, the way his hand was just hovering over your clothed core, you wanted to scream. But you didn’t want to rush through it. You’ve only had a handful of partners and you knew Coco was the far more experienced one. 
He pressed two fingers against your clothed center and you let out a low moan, which in turn made him moan.
“Fuck, I’m never going to get tired of that.” Coco’s fingers went to the waistband of your leggings, pulling them down. He threw the article of clothing behind him while you took off your shirt. His eyes roamed around you, taking in every part of you. It made you flustered, flushed, and scrambled to cover yourself. He smacked your hands and made a ‘tsk’ sound. 
“Don’t let me admire my girl.”
You smiled. You were nervous, this was Coco. This wasn’t anyone else, this was Coco.
“Hey, don’t overthink it, just let me make you feel good ma.”
He crawled over to you, hovering above you, he kissed you once again, his hands were all over you. Wherever he touched, your skin burned in the most delicious way.  He slipped his fingers under the band of your underwear, teasing your aching pearl before slipping a finger inside you. Moaning into his mouth, you arched against him, one hand caressing his cheek, while the other slid down his stomach and inside his boxers. He groaned against your lips as you wrapped your hand around his cock. 
“Fuck princesa,” you took your hand out of his boxers, spitting on it before putting it back inside, sliding your hand up and down his cock just as he added another finger inside of you. 
“Fuck Coco, that feels so good.” Your ex hardly provided foreplay. He lubed it up, condom on, and you two fucked. No emotions or regard for you, it was just sex. But this, this felt so much better. 
“Yeah, that pendejo didn’t know how to pleasure you?”
You shook your head, you let out a breathy gasp as his thumb made contact with your clit. You clenched around him and it didn’t take long for him to get an orgasm out of you. You whimpered, moving your hips down to meet the thrust of his hands. Before long, you were both naked, Coco slipping on rubber. 
He tapped his cock against your folds, the tip hitting your clit. You looked at how well endowed he was, which almost made you laugh. You always thought Coco was gifted, but to confirm that suspicion? It was fantastic. 
“You ready preciosa?” 
You nodded, never more ready for anything. He bent down and kissed the tip of your nose and then he slowly pushed the head of his dick into your wet, awaiting folds.
You let out a low, broken sounded moan. Seeing Coco’s dick had been one thing, but feeling it as it stretched you out almost to the point of pain was a completely different experience.
Coco’s left hand grabbed onto the sheets by your head and he clinched them while his other one stayed firmly on your hop- helping to ease him in without hurting you.
He was so close to bottoming out, but before he could fully set himself in you, bubbles of laughter started coming out of your mouth.
Coco moved his head so that he could look at you, his body hovered over yours and he froze, mid stride, with his dick more than 80% of the way in you.
"What?” He asked
You laughed again and pushed Coco’s stray hair behind his ear.
“My mom was right, you do need a haircut.”
Coco tsked and shook his baby hairs out of his eyes.
“Don’t be jealous because my hair is more luscious than yours.” Coco joked back
You laughed some more and Coco took this opportunity to push himself the rest of the way in you. Your laughing faded off and turned into moans and despite trying his best to make this all night, he couldn’t stop the quick pace he had set from happening.
His senses were overwhelmed by you, he wanted to fuck you deep and slow, but he also wanted to fuck you hard and quick. He wanted to kiss your lips, but he also wanted to kiss your neck and map out your entire body with his mouth. He wanted to intertwine his fingers in your hair and pull just enough for it to sting but not too hard to where it pulled out your roots, but he also needed to touch every part of you.
There wasn’t enough time.
He wanted all of you- he needed all of you but the way your warm heat wrapped around his dick and pulled him in was intoxicating him more so than any drug he had ever used.
“Fuck! You feel so good. I’m never letting you go again.” Coco said into your ear.
His breath ghosted across your skin but you were too blissed out to respond. One of your hands found their way into Coco’s thick hair and the other gripped tightly onto his forearm.
Your body bounced softly as Coco rammed into you. He kept pounding your G-spot over and over again to the point where you were now seeing stars. Your moans were now just whispers, and all you could say was Johnny over and over as if you were praying to him.
He lowered his head down and caught your lips with his. He kissed you once before you broke apart and simply breathed each other's air. Your lungs were burning and your breaths were coming out ragged.
Your orgasm was quickly approaching, and despite never having sex with you before, Coco knew you were right there on the edge.
He gripped your body tighter and forced himself to slow down his thrusts.
As he did, you let out a needy whine which caused Coco’s heart to melt. Seeing how much you needed him was all he ever wanted from you. Selfishly, he wanted you to need him so that he could always be apart of your life
“Don’t worry preciosa. I got you.” Coco whispered.
His next movements were smooth and calculated. He pulled himself all the way out and before you could complain, he grabbed your legs and roughly flipped you over onto your stomach. His hands found your hips and he yanked them upwards so that your ass was sticking out and your head was down.
You glanced over your shoulder and locked eyes with Coco as he pushed back into your pussy. He let out a groan and your head fell back onto the bed. You gripped the seats as the muscles in your stomach clenched.
You were so close, so fucking close you just needed–
Coco knew what you needed. Fuck he always knew. He moved his body so that it draped over you more, and his long arm reached under you and his fingers found your clit. He began to rub on it and press down on it while he fucked into you with a precision that was blinding you.
Your body was overheating and shaking, your mouth was spilling Coco’s name along with a stream of cuss words and you knew that if you didnt come soon, you would die from overstimulation.
Coco let out another moan and he wrapped his free arm around your waist and yanked you up, making your back flush with his chest. The new angle caused you to let out a louder scream. Coco pressed on your clit harder and started licking at your neck.
It only took two more thrusts before your body broke. Your legs shook so badly that they threatened to give out on you, your moans suddenly cut off and your breath left your lungs. Stars exploded behind your closed eyes and you realized that this is what they talked about when people said orgasms were like little pleasure bombs.
Your body was lit up with ecstasy and you rode it for as long as you could before your limbs went numb and refused to hold you up and longer.
Coco eased you down onto the mattress, still on your stomach. He pushed your legs together and straddled you as he gently pushed on your lower back and fucked in and out of you.
“Shit Y/N. This pussy is addictive.” Coco groaned out
You pushed your ass back as best as you could- attempting to meet Coco’s rough thrusts head on. Based on the way he was moaning and cursing you must have been doing a good job, so you kept doing it until you felt his thrusts becoming shaky and uneven. The fingers on your back dug into your skin causing you to hiss in pleasure.
You turned your head to the left and let out some breathy moans.
“Johnny…I… I need you to come for me. Come for me please.” You begged
“Fuuuuck, you’re sinful as shit and I love it.” Coco groaned out.
He thrusted into you a couple more times before he stilled.
You couldn’t feel his seed due to his condom, but you could feel his dick pulsing in you and your needy walls contracted around him, begging him to rip that stupid condom off and fill you properly.
After a couple of minutes, Coco gently pulled out of you. You slowly rolled over and groaned as your back popped slightly.
You tracked Coco as he made quick work of peeling his condom off and taking it to the trash can in the corner of his room.
You sat up on your elbows and admired him from afar. You cataloged every tattoo and vowed to ask him the story behind each one.
“Imma add today’s date to them…” Coco said as he caught you staring.
“To what?” You asked in confusion as he made his way back over to you.
The bed dipped as he climbed on it and crawled in between your still shaking legs.
“My tattoos. I’m getting today’s date tattooed on me.”
“But…why?” You laughed out
Coco smirked and pressed a gentle kiss to your lips.
“It's the day you and I changed forever. The day I got to be with my true love. Why wouldn’t i want that on my body as a reminder.”
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haikwritings · 4 years
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Forgone | Part Five
Character Mentions: Kōtarō Bokuto, Shōyō Hinata.
Summary: Bokuto & Y/n haven't seen each other for five years, but an unexpected reunion awaits them when he learns that he has a daughter.
Next: Part Six
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Bokuto was extremely happy and excited for his little family to move in with him.
“Yeah, yeah, we need to return earlier, Hinata.” Bokuto said through the phone.
And that's why he had to return earlier from his two-week vacation which had Hinata a bit irritated.
“Yeah I know.” Hinata answered sweetly but a little irritated through the phone.
Hinata knew about the situation since Bokuto had told him— but he wanted to at least enjoy his vacation one more day.
“I’m sorry man, please be here in five minutes.” Bokuto said as he hang up the phone.
He knew he had destroyed his friend's vacation but he would repay him later.
“Spud, did you pack the clothes like I told you?” Y/n asked very sweetly, making Bokuto look at her daughter.
He was concentrating on helping his girls pack.
He knew that they would leave a lot of things behind and he wanted to take into account the things he had to buy when they get to his house.
“N-No.” Akiko answered shyly.
He wanted to support them and give them the best life that he could give.
“Bo, I will pack her clothes. Can you put her shoes on?” Y/n asked sweetly.
“Y-Yes.” Bokuto answered sweetly, excited to have his first moments with his daughter.
He hadn't been able to talk to his daughter much and he wanted to spend the necessary time with her.
“So? What shoes are we putting on?” Bokuto asked sweetly, looking at the white shoes her daughter was carrying.
“D-Dis ones.” Akiko answered softly while handling him the shoes.
He was laughing adorably inside at how small her daughter's shoes were.
“L-Let’s go with the right one first.” Bokuto said while putting her shoe on.
As he was putting it, he could tell his little daughter was laughing.
“Now let’s go with the left.” Bokuto said while putting her other shoe on.
And still, his daughter kept laughing.
“What’s so funny, little one?” Bokuto asked sweetly but curiously.
Suddenly feeling Y/n behind his back.
“B-Bo, her shoes are backwards.” Y/n pointed out in disbelief.
“W-What?” Bokuto asked confused while seeing his daughter shoes—
Backwards.
“Oh.” Bokuto answered embarrassed.
Bokuto had no experience taking care of children, he basically acted like one.
“W-We’re ready.” Y/n said as she was carrying her bags along with her daughter's.
But he knew that he was going to learn little by little.
“Kōntarō.” Hinata knocked at the apartament door.
And he knew he was going to learn how to be a father.
“He’s here.” Bokuto said as he opened the door.
“The cab is waiting—” Hinata was saying until he looked at the little girl who looked ALMOST EXACTLY like his friend.
He knew he would learn from her and his friends.
“I- I— B-Bokuto, s-she looks like you.” Hinata said in disbelief.
And he could tell they would be amazing helpers.
“C-Can you say hey hey hey?” Hinata asked sweetly.
And amazing uncles—of course.
“Hey, hey, hey.” Akiko answered giggling.
Making Hinata fall from the cuteness.
“A-Art.” Hinata praised.
After the adorable moment everyone witnessed—Hinata helped the little family put their bags in the cab.
“Hinata.” Bokuto called as the girls got inside the cab, not being able to hear the conversation between the two.
“I- I need you sit with spud at the flight. I need to talk with Y/n about...stuff.” Bokuto said.
“You got it, man.” Hinata answered sweetly.
After all, Hinata wanted to help his friend in any way.
“Where’s your destination?” The cab driver asked.
“The Airport.” Bokuto replied sweetly, while looking at his daughter and her.
On the way Bokuto only thought about how his life was going to change in a positive way. He was even looking for information on schools near the area—He just wanted to be prepared.
“I will buy snacks for the flight, little one. What would you like to eat?” Hinata asked happily.
“I want candy!” Akiko replied happily.
“Then you will have them, spud.” Bokuto said while giggling.
But what they didn't know was that the sweets made her very energetic.
“J-Just try not to feed her with candy so much.” Y/n said very sweetly.
Which made Bokuto confused.
“M-Mommy please!” Akiko pouted sadly, making her hair deflate— just like her dad.
But he somehow got the message.
“Just a little.” Y/n answered sweetly.
“Aww okay.” Akiko pouted sadly, looking at Hinata with puppy’s eyes.
Maybe he was like him—
He gets very hyper when eating candy.
“You can have all the candy you want.” Hinata muttered, low enough to not be heard by her parents.
“Y-You the best.” Akiko whispered sweetly.
When they arrived at the airport, they took their bags and delivered them to the front.
“Hey, why don’t you guys buy the snacks?” Bokuto asked, giving Hinata hints.
“Y-Yeah, sure.” Hinata said as he took Akiko.
He wanted to have the opportunity to talk to her.
“D-Do you want snacks?” Bokuto asked sweetly, trying to make a conversation with her.
“I- I will just take a water bottle.” Y/n answered sweetly.
“S-Sure let’s go get it.” Bokuto said as they both walked to a little store.
He wanted to win her back after all this years.
“A-Are you sure you don’t want a pj sandwich?” Bokuto asked sweetly.
He knew they were her favorites.
“I- I don’t like them.” Y/n lied, trying to make him believe her.
But he knew she wouldn’t change her favorite snack.
“I- I will buy one just in case.” Bokuto said.
He knew how stubborn she was.
“So...” Bokuto said as he grabbed the pj sandwich.
“So...” Y/n said while walking around the store.
“H-How have you been?” Bokuto asked, mentally hitting himself for the stupid question.
But she knew he meant to harm.
“Overwhelmed, but I will be okay.” Y/n replied sweetly.
And she knew he wanted her, she just didn’t felt...ready.
“S-So, umm, h-have you been dating anyone?” Bokuto asked while looking down.
She knew his intentions were good, but she just...
“N-No. I have been alone, Bo. Thanks for getting worried, though.” Y/n answered while picking a small cookie.
She just wasn’t ready.
She just felt insecure that he would leave her.
“Oh, i-is nothing.” Bokuto answered overwhelmed.
Since she had her daughter, she hadn't dated anyone. She hadn't even one night stands either—she was just alone.
“I- I look...” Bokuto said but was suddenly interrupted by Hinata.
“We’re back.” Hinata said while carrying a shopping bag full of candy.
“Mommy!” Akiko said sweetly.
“The flight is in ten minutes, we better get there.” Hinata said happily.
“Y-Yeah.” Bokuto answered sweetly.
But he still wanted to try, after all...
He wanted to be with her.
“Who’s spud sitting with?” Y/n asked confused while arriving to the plane.
“M-Me!” Hinata suddenly said as he remembered the conversation he had with his friend.
“O-Oh okay.” Y/n answered sweetly.
Immediately following Bokuto to take a seat.
“H-Here.” Bokuto pointed the sit next to him.
“T-Thanks.” Y/n answered very sweetly.
Bokuto had planned the things he wanted to say. He wanted to know her imput and wanted to know if he still had a chance.
“Are you okay?” Y/n asked worried as she saw him tense.
But he didn’t wanted to make her uncomfortable.
“I- I just...I just want to know something.” Bokuto asked nervously.
And she knew what was his question...
She knew him.
“O-Okay.” Y/n answered nervously.
She just knew him too well.
“Do I still have a chance?” Bokuto asked nervously.
“Bo—” Y/n was saying but was interrupted by him.
“Do I still have a chance to redeem myself?” Bokuto asked nervously again.
She knew he had the chance...
She knew he was a good guy.
“Bo...” Y/n answered softly.
But she was scared...
Scared that he would leave her again.
“You’re going to leave me...” Y/n said while looking down.
And he understood what she meant.
“And I don’t want to suffer...” Y/n continued saying.
And he understood what she was feeling.
“I- I don’t want to see you leave again.” Y/n said.
Both of them had strong feelings for each other.
Even after the years.
“I- I won’t.” Bokuto said while grabbing her arms.
They still loved each other.
“I- I won’t leave you.” Bokuto said while tearing up.
They never stopped thinking about each other.
“I- I love you.” Bokuto whispered in her ear.
“Good morning dear passengers. Please fasten the waistbands, the plane is going to take off.” The stewardess said.
“I- I love you.” Bokuto repeated, tears falling from his eyes.
They still had a connection with each other.
“Y-You promise?” Y/n asked while tearing up.
“I- I promise.” Bokuto answered.
“The plane is going to take off in 5 minutes.” The stewardess said.
“I- I love you.” Bokuto confessed again.
“I- I love you, Bo.” Y/n said, grabbing back his hands.
Because the red thread between the two never broke.
“L-Let’s make this work.” Bokuto said smiling, wiping her tears.
“L-Let’s make this work.” Y/n repeated smiling.
General TagList:
@elianetsantana @pillowpets @boosyboo9206 @chagi-nana @melacholy @kara-grayson04 @sangwoosashyashes @milkawabread @answer-the-sirens @habi20212 @thelilyflowersworld @kellesvt @yuueisteria @dai-tsukki-desu @saeranoppa @wompwompwompwompwompwompw1111111
Additional Tags:
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moonlit-imagines · 4 years
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Headcanons for being Diego Hargreeves’ child
Diego Hargreeves x child!reader
warnings: knifes, blood, guns, death mentions, mental hospital
a/n:
prompt: anonymous: “Hi! Could you please write a “The Umbrella Academy” Diego Hargreeves x daughter reader headcanon? I always think Diego is such a overprotective softie dad ♥️♥️”
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deigo really said “?????”
how dad
but also he’d just the most loving dad anyone could ever ask for
✨it’s because he was never loved by his dad✨
“hi cutie, i love you, i love you, i love youuuuu”
he locked away all his weapons so that you couldn’t hurt yourself on them
but he always missed a few and he’d turn around and see you holding throwing knives and just FREAK OUT
“no, no, no, you may not have those! knives are for big boys like me, not babies”
“give back”
“‘give back?’ are you nuts?”
diego has conversations with lil you as if you know what the fuck he means dhshshhshs
as you got older, you became more interested in his “career”
“no, i dont care if you have powers or not! you have a bedtime, that means no vigilantism, you hear me?”
“if i say ‘no’ can i be a vigilante?”
“you know what? how about you clean up the gym for al so he doesn’t evict us?”
you did not sign up for this
you really wanted to meet your aunts and uncles, but you weren’t exactly sure they knew about you
i mean, you knew you had a cousin but everyone knew about her because aunt allison was a goshdarn celebrity
“dad, i want to meet the family!”
“no you don’t”
end of discussion
despite having a bedtime, you still watched movies late at night with your dad
he really liked marvel movies
“come on, that would never happen!”
“you come from a family of superpowered kids, a robot mom, and a monkey, and you’re upset about...a guy that shoots arrows?”
“maybe i am, what’re you gonna do about it?”
you ask about umbrella academy stories a lot, you your dad usually makes it about him
“and then i punched that guy in the face! and then i stabbed him in the leg because he was a dick! bet you’re friend’s dads arent as cool as me”
*yawning bc you’ve heard this story a million times*
you go to public school
you do have your dad’s last name
which occasionally gets recognized
“woah! wasn’t your dad a superhero?”
“i have no idea what youre talking about” :)
practicing your knife throwing while diego is away, him coming home to find his knifes stuck through various targets
so proud but he had to make sure you didn’t hurt yourself
you actually had to learn how to patch him up because he did come home a bit battered and bruised several times
“im okay, y/n. no need to freak”
“dad, there is literally blood dripping on the floor will you just sit down and stay still for five goddamn minutes?”
“woah, who the fuck taught you to cuss?”
watching the news at home when your grandfather was reportedly dead
you were actually very upset because you wanted to meet him so bad
even if he was a dick
your dad came home silent and you knew he knew
“you okay?”
“oh, yeah, im better than okay!”
finally getting the chance to meet your family
“who are you?” -allison
“im, uh, y/n. diego is my dad”
*jaw dropping*
and you know what? that happened four more times (plus ben but you didn’t get to see that)
“and you are?” -luther
“who’s the...the little one?” -klaus
“well, what do you know? diego’s a dad” -five
“don’t tell me that’s...no way” -ben
“you’re diego’s? wow, i can’t believe he didn’t tell anyone” -vanya
“i...i know who all of you are” -you
diego bragging about how perfect you are while everyone simultaneously rolls their eyes
“well, y/n, maybe one day we’ll schedule a playdate for you and claire” -allison
“‘playdate?’ how old do you think i am?...but yes i wanna meet her”
“god, you’re so much like diego, it’s unsettling”
you had been secretly training at al’s gym during your dad’s late night activities
so when trouble came your way, you were able to handle yourself pretty well
“where the hell did you learn that?”
“al showed me a few moves!”
“that old man? you’re kidding”
you met your grandmother, grace, who was tasked with keeping you safe at all times
you actually loved her sm
but there was something a bit off about her
besided the fact she was a robot
klaus snuck you out so that you two could have BoNdInG tImE
it wasn’t all bad
ben was a lil choked up that he got to meet one of his niblings
“they’re perfect”
“they just stabbed someone, buddy”
“who are you talking to?”
FIVE EVEN SCHEMED WITH YOU
“okay, y/n, i need you to curve something when i throw it, got that? right at that security guard”
“what are you throwing?”
“you’ll know when you see it, make your uncle five proud”
“IS THAT A GUN”
<3 family
running into patch!!
“hey, kid, i just saw your dad. i thought i told you to handcuff him to the radiator when you were away?”
“yeah, well, he wouldve chewed his hand off so here we are”
that was the last time you saw her :/
well, your dad was now a wanted man
“what happened to your arm?”
“no”
you actually didn’t expect this family reunion to go south like this
wait—yes you did
vanya has powers????
“i thought vanya was the one without powers?”
“yeah. so did we.”
diego straight up did not want you anywhere near that
but you, again, were his child and also fuck authority you do what you want
the vibe is almost getting shot several times
by hazel, cha cha, and “commission” guys?
going 2 ur auntie’s concert 😌✨
“y/n, hide in the bathroom and stay there until i come get you”
“dad, i love you, but no”
“y/n, i love you too, but yes”
“no”
“yes”
“NO”
“YES”
you won
but in the end (or not so much) you time traveled to...1961?
without any of your family
“this is...this is not good”
understatement of the year(s)
what was a kid like you gonna do in dallas, texas in 1961
no seriously, what
it was rough, but you managed to survive on your own
and open a paper in 1963 to find a mugshot of your dad
“son of a—”
visiting dad! (two years later)
“y/n? oh my god, y/n! shit, i missed you so much! why do you look different? you’re bigger, oh god. how long have you been here?”
“2 years, dad. you?”
his hair was so LONG
“2 months”
“christ, that’s it?!”
“i have to stop jfk from being assassinated”
“what makes you think that’s a good idea???”
“its the right thing to do, wanna help?”
“shit, i guess. as long as i dont end up here”
“no promises, people in the 60’s are crazy”
diego: 👁👄👁
you: 👀
running into five on the street soon after
“uncle five?”
“no time to talk”
“okay, asshole? i’ve been here for 2 years and you dont care?”
“two years, huh? i spent 45 years in a post apocalyptic world as a 13 year old and beyond”
“i didn’t say it was a competition, dude. you kinda dropped us all at different times. at least, me and dad. he—”
“is trying to kill lee harvey oswald, i know. come with me”
finally running into your other aunts and uncles, who were so excited to see you
you ran into their arms and they picked you off the ground and you felt closer than ever after only knowing them for 10 days
dad broke out
lila too
“im your new mom!”
“you’re what?”
diego dragged you along with him almost everywhere
he had missed you so much, but he keeps forgetting you kinda grew up without him for a while longer
meeting grandpa :)
“a grandchild, huh? how unfortunate”
“bitch”
“what did you just call me?”
“a bitch.”
your dad and basically the entire table trying to hold back laughter
reggie was stunned
cold hearted just like him <3 he didn’t know if he was offended or proud
this is so confusing
diego just disappeared off the face of the earth
and assassins were on your case
“the goddamn swedes are back oh shittt im gonna die”
“y/n, just curve their bullets”
“it’s not as easy as it sounds, klaus!”
you were doomed
theres too much to go over
apparently you died on a farm????
and then you didn’t??????
and your dad was almost apart of the commission
“hey, you okay, y/n?”
“i would like to take a nap please”
“yeah, me too”
“me three!” -klaus
yeah it was never that simple 😌💕 the end
taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @cullens-stuff // @lotsoffandomrecs // @takethebladeawayfromme // @that-nerd-tessa // @teenwaywardasgardian // @spidergirla5 // @sheridans-dynamos // @freya-xo // @johnmurphyisbisexual // @jay-is-groovy // @ravenmoore14 // @purpleskiesstorm // @abbiesthings // @thereagles // @ofthedewthesunlight //
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the-killer-queenie · 3 years
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Good Impression (Tommi Lalli x reader)
Inspired by this video and by suggestions of a couple of anons, I presented you all this Tommi/reader fic
Words: 1438
English is not my native language so sorry for the mistakes/typos you might found.
Note: for the sake of the story, let’s pretend Tommi lives in Helsinki and not in Oulu.
Hope y'all enjoy it!☺️
Tommi’s parents have invited you to spend the weekend at their house since it was going to be Tommi’s grandma's birthday and there would be a family reunion to celebrate it back in Oulu.
You hadn’t really ever left Helsinki or its surroundings, your work and studies tying you to the capital, so you were pretty excited to have this mini road trip all the way up to Tommi’s natal city and to get to know his family. It wasn’t exactly a “meet the parents” situation, since you’ve already met them one time when they were in the city visiting Tommi. So you weren’t extremely nervous although the usual bad scenarios popped up in your mind from time to time.
The night before leaving, you were sitting on the floor of your shared bedroom, still trying to pack your bag. Tommi was on his phone, already laying in bed, since you planned on leaving early in the morning.
“Babe, which blouse should I take, this green one or the black one?” you asked, showing both options to him.
“I’d much prefer you without one,” Tommi said without looking up from his phone.
“Always the tease,” you said as you decided on one of them and put it on your bag.
“Remember it’s only a weekend though and it won’t be that fancy of an event…”
“I know, but I just want to make sure I leave a good impression,” you replied as you closed your bag, deciding you already had everything you’ll need for the weekend.
Having finished packing, you crawled into bed next to Tommi, who left his phone on the nightstand and wrapped his arm around you.
“There’s no way you won’t be leaving nothing but a good impression, prinsessa” Tommi whispered in your ear as you drifted off to sleep.
The next morning, you woke up to an empty space next to you and to sounds coming from the kitchen. Someone was not wasting any time. After having some quick breakfast Tommi had prepared and loading your bags in the trunk of the car, you were ready to leave.
“Ready kulta?” Tommi asked as he put his sunglasses on.
“Ready Tommi-bear.” you answered as you opened the music app on your phone. You have spent the week prior crafting a playlist to blast through the road trip. It had some of yours and Tommi’s favourite songs plus some duet worthy songs, since you weren’t oblivious of the fact that Tommi had a beautiful voice. So of course you didn’t waste any chance you got of hearing it.
“Ok, here we go,” he said as you pressed shuffle on the playlist.
The first song that came through the car’s speakers was Dancing Queen by ABBA. Tommi chuckled. “I thought you made the playlist, not Aleksi,” he ironically said, commenting on how the dark haired DJ plays that song on concerts, soundchecks and pretty much whenever he gets the chance.
“Hey, it’s a good song.” you said and started singing along. Tommi smiled and eventually joined in.
After a couple of duets passed by, you suddenly shut up, leaving Tommi singing on his own. He didn’t realise it wasn’t a duet anymore until a couple of minutes later, when he turned his sight from the road to you, who were softly smiling at him.
“What?” Tommi asked, and you could swear he slightly blushed.
“You should sing more often, you know?”
“Oh shut up,”
“I really mean it! Maybe I should text Niko or Joel…”
You told him how his voice was really lovely and soothing but he just brushed it off, although you could see a little smirk growing on his face.
The ride went really well and smoothly. You both chatted about everything and nothing, music playing on the back as you made sure to get some chill songs besides the karaoke worthy ones.
Since Tommi had made the road countless times, mostly because of Blind Channel gigs, he recounted some funny stories with the boys as some places you were driving though made him remember about them. Of course, the anecdotes were nothing but pure Blind Channel chaos which had you laughing up to the point of crying.
Speaking of Blind Channel, you had thrown into the mix one or two of their songs so when they came into the shuffle, you headbanged like there wasn’t a tomorrow and randomly played air drums, trying to copy Tommi’s moves when on stage, which made him laugh out loud.
“Maybe I could give you some drum lessons when we go back,” he said while tapping his fingers to the beat of the song.
You bit your lip. The image of you sitting on his lap while giving you drum lessons presented you with thousands of thoughts that you decided to keep for yourself, at least until you got back to your apartment back in Helsinki.
As you were getting closer to Oulu, you asked Tommi who he thought would be at his grandma’s party. Tommi started listing an incredible number of people, describing them and telling how they were related. Basically giving you a sort of brief of his family. But as the list grew, your nerves too started to rise up.
You passed through a sign telling you were now entering Oulu and you became quieter and started mindlessly tapping your foot. Tommi noticed the sudden change of the atmosphere.
“Hey, you’re gonna make a hole on the car’s floor if you keep with the tapping,” he said, trying to bring up the lively spirit again.
You giggle and stop with the tapping, but remained silent while looking at the passing scenery through the window.
“Nervous?” Tommi asked.
“Yeah, I guess... I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m really excited to meet your family but at the same time there’s this voice in my head sort of panicking and questioning ``what if they don’t like me?´´” you confessed to him.
“Well, then I guess I’ll have to cut ties with them if they don’t like you,” he replied with a straight face.
You gave Tommi a playful punch on his arm.
“No, but in all seriousness, I can’t think of a simple reason they won’t like you. You know, I haven’t told you this but my parents didn’t do anything but praise you after meeting you. And I’m sure they already passed on their stamp of approval to the rest of the family,” he reassured you.
Tommi’s words comforted you and made you relax a little. You turned up the music and tried to enjoy the last couple of kilometres you got left of the trip.
You finally arrived at Tommi’s parents house, who were waiting for you on the porch. They greeted you both and asked how the trip was. But before you could answer, an old lady came out of the house, calling Tommi’s name. It was his grandmother. You recognized her from some family photos Tommi had shown you ahead of the trip. She made her way up to where you were all standing and you couldn’t help but melt at the sight of the height difference between her and Tommi when she went for a hug.
“So you’re the young lady that stole my Tommi,” the woman said as she turned around to look at you. You gulped, not sure if she was being serious or just messing with you. She must have seen the panic in your face as she clarified with a laugh, “I’m only joking. For what I see, he’s actually the lucky one,” she said with a warm smile. You blushed at the woman’s words and thanked her while allowing yourself to loosen up a little.
Tommi’s mum invited you to come into the house, since she had prepared something for both of you to eat after the long journey. As Tommi took out your bags from the car, the old lady intertwined her arm with yours and slowly began walking towards the house.
“Now, we have many things to chat about that grandson of mine. Like, have you noticed his nose…” she started saying, lowering her voice as if it were a confidence only you were allowed to hear.
“Ei, mummo, not again…” Tommi groaned, interrupting her while escorting both of you on the way into the house.
You just giggled and continued to listen to the old lady’s complaints of his grandson's features. You might disagree with her on that but as you start approaching the house, you started to feel at ease and though to yourself that it will be a fun weekend.
Ei, mummo = No, grandma (thanks duolingo)
yeah, sorry if the end sucked but I really wanted to make the reference to the q&a video.
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destiniesfic · 4 years
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i hate everybody (but maybe i don’t) 1/3
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This is my @jurdannet​ & @jurdannetrevels​​ Secret Snusband gift for @sevenfreckles-for-sevenloves​​! You tapped into a story I’d been wanting to write for ages, so you get three parts and three POVs (Vivi, Cardan, and Jude). Happy Holidays, I hope you like it. ♥ Thanks to @xdarkofthemoon​ for betaing!
This fic is rated E. Content warnings this chapter for excessive alcohol consumption, references to alcoholism, and (prescribed) antidepressant use.
Read on AO3 or read below:
Bars in Barcelona are not especially different from bars in the US. It’s a discovery Vivi has made over the course of her study abroad tenure: everything is different on the outside, but on the inside, not so much. She does like the outsides, though. She likes the tidy streets, the way the buildings don’t rise to blot out the sun as they have a habit of doing in American downtowns. She likes the cozy sameness of the facades, broken by the whimsical surprise of the odd Gaudí contribution. Like a lot of the European cities she’s visited there seems to be some unifying design principle, some common understanding. At home it’s anyone’s guess what the next office building or apartment complex might look like, a mishmash of styles as the cities clamor to reinvent themselves, modernist or postmodernist or deconstructionist or whatever.
Heather could name them all, if Heather were here.
But Heather isn’t here. Tonight, Vivi is out on the town with her two younger half-sisters, Jude and Taryn. Her twin baby sisters, although they hate it when she calls them that. The twins’ spring breaks overlapped by happy accident, so their adoptive dad, Vivi’s biological father, had sent them off on an all-expenses-paid Barcelona trip for a mini family reunion.
Taryn had been thrilled to go out. “I’m so excited that we can drink here,” she’d exclaimed, as she touched up her makeup in the AirBnB’s living room mirror. It’s a two-bed, two-bath apartment with an updated kitchen and certainly beats the dorms. Vivi was forced to give a silent, resentful thanks, Dad, but not out loud.
“You drink at home,” Jude reminded her from the bathroom, where she was trying to wrangle her hair into some style Taryn had sent her from Pinterest. “We have fake IDs.”
“It’s not the same,” Taryn had huffed, applying another coat of mascara. Vivi got that. It had not been the same when they came to Europe before, either, because they had been with Madoc, Oriana, and little Oak. Somehow parents at the table makes the glass of wine with dinner much less daring.
Jude had eventually settled on a high ponytail, and off they went.
Now they’re out at a bar not far from the AirBnB, with each of the twins perched on stools and Vivi leaning against the bar between them. Maybe it’s because she hasn’t seen them for so long except over FaceTime, but Vivi is shocked to notice that her little sisters aren’t kids anymore. They haven’t been little for a while, not since they overtook Vivi in height when they were twelve, but it’s one thing to not be little and another to be an adult. Taryn, who’s been yearning for adulthood since her tweens, finally looks more at home in the role. And Vivi doesn’t know how Taryn got Jude into that dark purple halter dress, which dips low in the front and lower in the back, but the way she wears that and her lipstick is a stark reminder that Vivi’s sisters are in fact nineteen, and no longer chubby, soft-faced children. It’s weird, and Vivi doesn’t like it.
Vivi gets hit on sometimes—with her undercut and piercings, mostly by “alternative” men and curious women—but the novelty of good-looking twins means Jude and Taryn shouldn’t need to pay for their own drinks. And they wouldn’t, except anytime a guy gets too close to Jude or Taryn, Jude adopts a laser-eyed glare and says, “No,” which is thankfully the same in both languages. Otherwise she might start speaking with fists.
“I don’t know why you won’t let us get free drinks,” Taryn pouts.
“The drinks are on Madoc,” Jude points out, nodding to the credit card Vivi puts back in her pocket. “They’re basically free.”
Taryn mutters, “It’s the principle of the thing.”
“You guys are such sisters,” Vivi says, taking a swig of beer.
“What does that mean?” they demand in unison.
Vivi grins and closes her eyes, shaking her head. For a second she just stands there, between the twins, and lets everything wash over her: the sibling bickering, the pungent smell of beer and whatever syrup is in Jude’s cocktail, and the music. Music is a strange experience in bars here. First there’s a Spanish song Vivi’s never heard, and then there’s Halsey, crooning over a Chainsmokers beat, and then back to Spanish with perennial favorite “Despacito.” It’s total whiplash. Vivi loves it.
It’s only because she’s listening so hard that she hears Taryn give a tiny gasp.
Vivi opens her eyes. Jude has gone very, very still. Her shoulders, which had been hunched up around her ears as she leaned over the bar, roll down her back, and the muscles there tense. Vivi is not sure Jude is remembering to breathe. She and Taryn are both staring at some fixed point across the bar, so Vivi looks too.
“Oh, hell,” she says.
On the other side of the bar—of the small space they are all crammed into—are four familiar figures. Three boys, one girl. Vivi has to blink to place them, because it seems absurd that four kids they went to high school with would show up in Spain while they, the Duarte sisters, are also in Spain, and also because they weren’t in Vivi’s grade. She knows them, though. Everyone knows Cardan Greenbriar and his trio of hot, mean friends, but Vivi knows them particularly well because of how her sisters have tangled with them over the years.
Taryn whispers, “What are they doing here?”
“I can go ask,” Vivi sighs. That group of kids has no quarrel with her. She and Cardan were friendly back in the day, meaning “ten years ago when Vivi would go hang out with Cardan’s older sister.”
“No,” Jude says, voice firm. Without taking her eyes off the interlopers, she picks up her cocktail and downs the rest of it.
Vivi doesn’t know exactly what happened, but Jude shed her fight-or-flight response sometime in high school. Now, she only has a fight response. Maybe Vivi took her flight response, because it was Vivi who was the terror until she turned eighteen, when she got the hell out of dodge. Taryn has always been in the middle, trying to keep the peace.
“We can go somewhere else,” Taryn suggests.
“No,” Jude repeats, setting her glass down on the bar a little too hard. “I’m not going to let those jerks keep me from having a good time.”
“Which I respect, and more power to you, but also, like, there are plenty of bars in Barcelona,” Vivi points out.
Jude glares. “I’m fine.” And then she holds up one finger in the bartender’s direction.
“You know those are really alcoholic, right?” Taryn says. Worry begins to seep into her voice like melting snow through cracks in a sidewalk.
“I know my limits.”
Vivi and Taryn exchange a wary glance. Jude might know her limits, but she has no problem blowing past them. Jude may not think Vivi remembers the tae kwon do tournament she sat through when Jude was eleven and Vivi was thirteen, but oh, Vivi does. Vivi remembers how her sister volunteered to spar until she had tired herself out to the point where she could no longer stand. Vivi also remembers Jude driving to school on a single hour of sleep after staying up to finish an extra credit essay in a class where she already had an A. Jude somehow didn’t crash her car, but she had been unbearable the entire day. Jude is a danger to herself and very occasionally a menace to society.
But Jude is also an adult and it’s not Vivi’s business.
“Suit yourself,” Vivi says, with a shrug. “It’s dear old Dad’s money.”
A few minutes later, Jude is nursing her second cocktail, and Vivi and Taryn are trying to carry on a conversation as though everything is fine. Any normal person would be well loosened up by now, but Jude retains that unnatural stillness like a dog who’s noticed a squirrel on the other side of a yard. Or, more accurately, maybe like a deer who’s spotted a human hunter approaching over the ridge.
Jude is no defenseless herbivore, but Vivi knows half a lifetime of being bullied has made her feel like a target.
“Hey,” Vivi says, jostling Jude with her elbow.
“What?”
“Tell me about your freshman year misadventures. Taryn won’t open up.”
Jude snorts. “What misadventures?”
“You have to have a few,” Vivi says. “I didn’t raise my sisters to be boring.”
“You didn’t raise us at all,” Jude mutters at her cocktail.
Vivi has never seen her sister anywhere near drunk before and is not sure she likes her like this. “What about boys?” she asks, gently elbowing Jude again. Then she raises her eyebrows. “Girls?”
“No. Nobody.” Jude finishes her second drink and, glaring across the bar, apparently makes the decision to switch to shots. “Vivi, is vodka still ‘vodka’ in Spanish?”
“I’m not answering that.” Vivi sighs. “What about you, Taryn? Anybody?”
“Huh? Um, no.” Taryn had been looking at their erstwhile schoolmates too. One of the boys, the redhead, is looking back. Locke. Vivi exhales. Bad news. There’s history there, the kind of history that shouldn’t repeat.
“Reeeeally?” she asks. “Nobody? Not one boy?”
Taryn blinks back to herself. “Vivi, I go to school for fashion design. They’re all gay.”
“Well, that can be fun.” Vivi gestures at herself. God, she wishes her sisters had brought Heather along. The hot lady bartender with the gorgeous tattoo sleeve keeps trying to catch her eye, and Vivi and Heather had established a “what happens in Barcelona stays in Barcelona” policy before she left, but Vivi doesn’t want a hot lady bartender. She wants her girlfriend.
“Yeah, they’re cool.” Taryn glances back across the bar. Now the blue-haired girl—Nicasia, Vivi recalls—is looking back, along with Locke. Not good.
Since Jude is negotiating for a shot of vodka with hot lady bartender in competent enough Spanish, Vivi lowers her voice and asks Taryn, “Are you feeling especially homesick?”
“We’ve kept in touch.” Taryn doesn’t meet her eyes.
Vivi would hold more of a grudge if someone had tried to sleep with her and her sister, but that’s very much not her circus or her monkeys. She asks, “Did you know he’d be here?”
Taryn shakes her head. “He said they were doing a European tour for spring break, but, like, it’s a big continent.”
“Good news,” says Jude, holding up a shot glass. “It’s vodka in both languages. Cheers.”
“You are going to be sick,” Taryn says.
Jude gives her a sarcastic shrug and then downs the shot. She coughs a little, which somewhat ruins the impression she’s trying to make, but swallows it all down.
“Jude,” Vivi says, beginning to worry, “we really can just leave.”
But Jude is looking at her old high school nemeses again. Cardan had been a particular thorn in her side, or he in hers; Vivi never made sense of that conflict, of who had started what. What she does know is that they’ve definitely been spotted now. The blond boy—Vivi doesn’t quite remember his name—seems to make a move to walk over to them, but Cardan reaches out and grabs his arm, shaking his head. Valentine? Valentino? looks sour, but doesn’t approach. Jude stares them both down.
“I have to use the bathroom,” Taryn announces. “El baño.” Taryn had taken French in high school.
“But—” Vivi begins.
Taryn has already vanished into the crowd. Vivi puts her elbows on the bar and cradles her head in her hands. “This is all going great.”
“Not how you pictured our night out on the town?” asks Jude, who has obtained another shot of vodka from God knows where.
“Yeah, not really.”
“Well, I can fix it.” Jude drinks her second shot and does not cough this time. “I’m going to go talk to them.”
Vivi picks up her head. “That’s a terrible idea.”
“So what?”
“Dad’s going to hold me responsible if anything happens to you.”
Jude fixes a level stare on her. “Dad never holds you responsible for anything,” she says. She slips a little when she gets up off her stool. Vivi wonders if she’s really thinking about fighting someone in those heels.
“You’re mean drunk,” Vivi tells her, trying to grab her arm. “Don’t go.”
“I’m mean sober, but nobody notices,” says Jude, which doesn’t make any sense. She shakes Vivi off. “Besides, I have a few things I want to say.”
And for the second time that night, Vivi watches as one of her sisters pushes her way into the crowd of people, unsure if she should follow or not. Maybe it’ll be good for Jude, in the end, to get some of this out of her system.
The guys across the room are watching Jude approach. Cardan especially. The blond guy is sneering, but Cardan watches Jude with the same strange stillness with which she’d watched him. Like he’s holding his breath until she gets there. Unlike Jude, he doesn’t seem that drunk at all, which Vivi notices because, well, it’s a rare day that Cardan Greenbriar isn’t drunk.
But he is too busy watching her and not his blond friend, who decides that he’s going to intercept Jude before she can even reach Cardan. He pushes over to her first and bars her way, and although Vivi is too far away to hear what’s said between them, she notices the squaring of Jude’s shoulders and the widening of the blond guy’s sneer. Because she is watching closely, she sees that Valerian is the one who shoves Jude first.
Valerian. That’s his name.
It clicks right before Jude punches him in the face.
The bar erupts. Cardan springs to his feet and tries to pull his friend away from Jude. A couple of nearby patrons try to save Jude from herself—Vivi could have told them it was a fool’s errand—by holding her back, not knowing Jude has sharp elbows. Valerian struggles hard and manages to break away from Cardan, only to find himself being grabbed by more pairs of hands. There is shouting in Spanish. Even the hot lady bartender is drawn away, trying to signal her coworkers.
The most Vivi-like thing to do would be to leave Jude to it and keep her nose clean. But Vivi remembers asking Madoc on the day of that fateful tae kwon do tournament, while they revived Jude with sips of Gatorade, why Madoc hadn’t stopped Jude when it became clear she was flagging. “Your sister needs to learn for herself when to stop fighting,” he’d said. “If I make those calls for her, she never will.”
Vivi has a lot of qualms with Madoc’s parenting style, and Taryn is nowhere to be found.
“Oh, hell,” Vivi says again, and she dives into the knot of drunk brawlers to pull her sister from the fray.
---
“I can’t believe you got us kicked out,” Vivi says.
Jude, drunk, hapless Jude, is sitting on the curb with her head between her knees, presumably trying not to barf. There’s still enough anger left in her to flip Vivi off.
“Unbelievable.” Vivi folds her arms and looks left, then right. It seems like a good quarter of the bar spilled out onto the sidewalk with them, a crowd of people chattering about what just happened. Forget kicked out, Jude’s lucky she wasn’t arrested. “Do you see Taryn anywhere?”
“What do you think?”
Vivi pinches the bridge of her nose. Taryn will be fine. She has the AirBnB address and a phone she can use on WiFi. Besides, as far as Vivi knows, she ran off with Locke. Vivi hasn’t seen the two of them come out of the bar yet, and she would not be surprised. She knows a bad decision when she sees one.
“You keep sitting down,” Vivi tells Jude. “I’m going to figure out a ride home.”
“Your face should keep sitting down,” Jude mumbles spitefully.
“Hey, guys? Vivi?”
Vivi cringes as soon as she hears the voice, because she knows the voice, and because in this situation the owner of that voice will only make things worse. Vivi doesn’t have any personal grudge against Cardan Greenbriar—they’ve even sometimes been friends—except for how her sister feels about him. Taryn’s always said he was kind of a dick, but Taryn doesn’t hate him like Jude does. Nobody hates anybody the way Jude hates Cardan. Vivi wonders if Jude has something to prove.
Sure enough, Jude’s head swivels at the sound of his voice like the kid’s head turning around in The Exorcist. “You,” she snarls, and then stumbles to her feet.
“Jude,” Vivi says, trying to catch her sister’s dress to pull her back, but Jude is already out of reach. With another sigh, Vivi stands too.
“What are you doing here?” Jude demands of Cardan, openly hostile. It would be funny, because Jude is a full head shorter than him, if Jude was anybody else’s sister. “We were all having a great time until you showed up.”
“It’s anybody’s city,” Cardan says, but he doesn’t seem to be mocking her. He holds up his hands to show her they are empty.
“Go the fuck home!” Jude yells, and shoves him, sending him back a couple of steps.
Vivi shouts, “Woah!”
“It’s okay,” Cardan tells Vivi over Jude’s head. “She’s not hurting me. Let her get it out.”
With a little cry, Jude pushes him again, and this time he only stumbles back a half-step, but he keeps his hands up and his stance somewhat grounded. The next time Jude shoves him he doesn’t budge at all, and Jude lets out a grunt of frustration, fisting her hands in his jacket.
And then she bursts into tears.
“Oh,” says Vivi, but Cardan doesn’t seem that surprised. She wonders if he’s used to people behaving badly while drunk or just being drunk himself.
“You’re so a-awful,” Jude says between sobs. “Everything’s awful all the time.”
“I know, Jude,” Cardan replies. He gently pries the jacket out of her fists so he can remove it and drape it over her bare shoulders. Jude grabs onto his shirt instead.
“Why do you hate me so much?” she asks, with a small hiccup.
“I don’t,” Cardan replies. His hand rubs circles between his shoulder blades. “But I hope you’re too drunk to remember that.” He looks up at Vivi, and Vivi feels a brief flash of embarrassment, like she’s intruded on something intimate, before she remembers that they’re in public and, also, she has no shame. “Were you going to get a taxi? I can keep an eye on her while you do. I don’t think she should walk back.”
“Oh.” Vivi blinks. “Yeah. I’ve got it. Where’s your ‘friend?’”
“Sent him packing. He’s back at the hotel, or he should be.”
“Well… good.”
But Cardan isn’t listening. He’s already looking down at Jude again.
It turns out Vivi has, carelessly, let her phone die. She isn’t anal about things like that. Taryn’s the one who keeps a charger in her purse at all times, but Taryn has vanished, and Jude’s phone only works on WiFi outside of the States.
So they hail one of Barcelona's bumblebee-like taxis the old-fashioned way, and Vivi is the one who climbs into the passenger’s seat and tells the driver where to go in Spanish that’s fluent, if definitely not Spain-Spanish. It is deeply ironic that Vivi, the only sister without a drop of Duarte blood in her veins, is the one who speaks Spanish the best. But Jude and Taryn were only seven when their parents died. Vivi had been nine. Two years makes a big difference with these things, especially because memories are shaping and re-shaping themselves in the minds of children that young. As far as the twins’ brains are concerned, they only had their parents for a short time.
Vivi remembers more. She remembers sitting on the counter in the old kitchen, legs swinging, as her dad cooked on Fridays—the special day, the end of the week day—and pointing at things in the kitchen so Justin could tell her their names in Spanish and she could echo them back. Cebolla, onion. Queso, cheese, of course. Cuchara, spoon. The words had a favor of their own, different from the English words she learned in kindergarten. She remembers the smell of toasting coriander seeds, the bright songs her dad would hum, the vibrant melodies bursting from the CD player Vivi leaned her elbow on. When she got far enough along in school, she threw herself into Spanish, hoping the words would pave a road that would lead her back to the man who shaped her.
Sometimes Jude gets in a sulk about their awful twist of fate, or Taryn gets weepy, and Vivi just wants to yell Justin Duarte was my dad, too! She feels like her throat is raw from screaming it her entire adolescence. It was easier in the end to just move away for college.
She ended up in Spain because Madoc and Oriana weren’t keen on her going to Mexico. Oh, sure, they’d been before on vacation no problemo, but as soon as Vivi wanted to go alone it was game over. No matter how much Vivi told them it was very racist of them and a total double standard. Apparently Oriana didn’t want her getting kidnapped. Vivi, who has in fact seen the movie Taken, knows she can get kidnapped in Europe just as easily, thanks very much. That had not been a persuasive argument with Madoc.
So here she is, in Barcelona, where familiar words can have entirely different flavors, and that’s even before getting to Catalan, which she can now speak a little but not well. Most of the time, she’ll be honest, she does love it here. At this moment she’s not feeling charitable toward anything.
Cardan helps load Jude into the backseat of the taxi. The driver, looking in the rearview mirror, asks, “¿Su novio?”
“¿Qué?” Vivi asks reflexively. She cranes her head around to see Cardan sliding in next to Jude, his arm around her shoulder. She switches to English. “What the hell, dude?”
“She won’t let go,” Cardan says simply. It’s true; Jude is clinging to him like a very weepy barnacle, her shoulders still shaking.
“Alright, well.” Vivi turns back around. It’s good to have the extra pair of hands. She wishes again that Heather was here. “You’re the official Jude wrangler now.”
“Copy that. I just—” He sighs, and in the rearview, Vivi sees him rub his face with his free hand. “It’s my fault.”
“Sure is.” The taxi begins to pull away from the curb, and Vivi checks her anger. She amends, “Actually, no, it’s not your fault that my sister’s a lightweight and an angry drunk. But from what I hear, the years of prior psychological damage are totally your fault. So, credit where credit is due.”
Cardan nods. Jude sniffles forlornly. Vivi is intrigued by how gentle he’s being with her, how tolerant. His shirt looks like a regular cotton tee, but knowing him it probably costs about the same as a single night in their very nice AirBnB. He doesn’t seem to mind that Jude’s getting snot and tears all over it.
“Hate you,” Jude mutters, pressing her face into his shoulder. “Hate this.”
“I know.” He pushes a lock of hair that’s escaped from her ponytail. “What are you on?”
“Huh?” There’s a pause. Vivi is watching the road now, but she can imagine Jude’s confused blinking. “I don’t… drugs.”
“Meds.”
“Oh, um, fuck.” Another pause. “Zoloft. I switched this year.”
“You’re not supposed to drink on that stuff,” Cardan says, but it almost sounds like he’s teasing. “It messes you up. I thought you were supposed to be the smart one.”
Jude sniffs. “It’s not like I’m operating heavy machinery,” she says, slurring slightly.
Cardan chuckles. “I did the Zoloft thing, too. I’m not on it anymore, though.”
“‘Cause you couldn’t drink?”
“Like anything would stop me.” He pauses, and Vivi looks into the rearview mirror to find him biting his lower lip in an exaggerated way, so drunk Jude is sure to get the joke. “No, there were... personal reasons.”
Jude is utterly nonplussed. “What?”
“Ah, you know…” He leans over and whispers something to her. Her eyes widen, and then she lets out a small, nervous chuckle. “Oh.”
“Yeah, I was like ‘If I can’t have sex, won’t that just make me more depressed?’”
To Vivi’s great surprise, Jude giggles. A totally surreal sound. She hasn’t giggled like that in years, if ever.
“There we go,” says Cardan, weirdly indulgent. “No more crying. Or, well—oh, okay,” he adds, as Jude turns her head and begins quietly sobbing into the sleeve of his shirt. “I guess some more crying.”
“You seem very sober,” Vivi remarks.
“Yeah, I’m trying it on. Just club soda for me tonight.” He leans over to rest his head on top of Jude’s. “It, cómo se dice, sucks.”
“Like your accent.”
“So I’ve heard.”
Vivi is beginning to get vaguely suspicious. She says, “But you are handling this well. Just used to dealing with a lot of drunks?”
“Huh? Oh.” Cardan’s dark eyes flick up to meet Vivi’s in the mirror. “This isn’t the first time. Jude got wasted at prom, after the stuff with Locke and Taryn came to light. Completely trashed.”
“I didn’t know that.”
“You were finishing up sophomore year, right? In like, Massachusetts? And it’s not like she would have told you. If she’s lucky, she doesn’t remember it. I loaded her into the Uber that took her home.”
Vivi’s stomach twists, but she channels the newfound sister guilt into suspicion and narrows her eyes. “Decent of you.”
“Yeah, I was trying that out, too. Got puked on for the trouble.” Cardan leans his head back against the headrest now. Jude’s sobs have quieted down. “But I still remember the Four Phases of Drunk Jude Duarte.”
“I’m glad somebody does,” Vivi admits. “What are they?”
“Angry, weepy, horny, sick.”
She snorts. “Basically Snow White’s shittiest dwarves.”
“Basically,” Cardan agrees. “But you’re not in danger of her getting sick yet, because we haven’t hit—ah. Um. Well.” He clears his throat. “Never mind.”
Vivi looks up into the mirror again to see Cardan plucking Jude’s hand off of him and returning it to her. “Did we just hit horny?”
“We just hit horny,” he says, his voice strained. Jude has her face buried in his neck again, but this time for entirely different reasons. The hand he had returned to Jude is already sliding back down his shirt. “Okay, hands above the waist. No, above—”
“Oh my God.” Vivi covers her mouth to stifle her laughter.
“Great. Very helpful, Vivienne,” Cardan says, grabbing Jude’s wrist and holding it still. It speaks to their relationship as nearly family friends that he can use her full name without invoking her wrath. “Your sister is outright molesting me and you can’t even tell her to knock it off?”
He doesn’t sound totally panicked, though. “I think you might want my sister to molest you,” Vivi guesses, turning around in her seat to look at him. Somehow, Jude has managed to thoroughly drape herself across him, but Cardan is showing admirable and frankly uncharacteristic self-restraint by keeping her from doing anything that can’t be undone. “Just a little.”
“When she’s sober. Jude, don’t bite my ear. Jude—”
Vivi snickers. The rest of the short ride passes like that, with Cardan deflecting Jude’s advances and Vivi deflecting the taxi driver’s questions about what exactly is happening back there and whether Jude is going to be sick all over his floor mats. They are lucky enough to not hit “sick” until Jude is out of the car and walking up the five stairs to the door of the apartment building. With Cardan’s warning in mind, Vivi is able to jump back in time.
Cardan, who is nearer to Jude, is not so lucky. She leans against the railing and doubles over it, but his shoes and the bottoms of his jeans are still caught in the splash zone. “Okay, great,” he says, gathering her back up. He does not sound entirely tolerant now, but he also doesn’t sound as angry as Vivi might expect. “That’s over. Feel any better?”
“No,” Jude mutters.
“You might in the morning.” He moves them both so Vivi can pass and open the door. “Man, is this really only the second time this has ever happened to you? I have to say, I’m jealous. Not of you in this moment, of course. Just in general.”
“We can’t all be charming teenage alcoholics,” Vivi says, propping the door open so Cardan can help her through.
“You hear that, Jude?” Cardan asks. “Your sister thinks I’m charming.”
“Uh-huh,” says Jude.
“Don’t let it go to your head,” Vivi warns. “She’s almost out. Let’s get her upstairs.”
Jude doesn’t make it into the bedroom she and Taryn are sharing. They put her to bed on the couch, on her side, with Cardan’s jacket draped over her. There’s no laundry machine in the AirBnB, but Vivi finds some detergent in the cabinet and they fill the bathroom sink with lukewarm water so Cardan can wash his jeans. Vivi is not sure the right time for the conversation she should have is now, when Cardan is standing in his boxer briefs and Jude is passed out in the next room, but on the bright side, there probably isn’t a worse time.
“You know, I didn’t think we had this level of friendship,” Cardan remarks, dunking his jeans in the sudsy water. “Dealing with your sister must really be a bonding experience. You always liked Rhyia best.”
“Well, Rhyia’s cool.” Vivi folds her arms and leans in the doorway. She kicked off her boots when they got in the door, so Cardan now looks even taller, although certainly not very intimidating in his underwear. “Calvin Klein. Nice. You always struck me as more of a boxers guy, I have to say.”
“Sometimes. These jeans are pretty tight, though.” He looks over at her. “Do you need something?”
She shakes her head. “Oh, nothing. I just can’t believe you’re trying to fuck my sister.”
“I’m not trying to fuck your sister,” Cardan says, massaging his jeans in the sink in such a way that Vivi is forced to wonder whether he’s ever done his own laundry. “She’s wasted. And she hates me.”
Vivi frowns deeply.
Cardan asks, “What?”
“Nothing.”
“Vivienne Leigh—”
“Don’t you pull out my full name for this. You’re playing some game here and I will figure out what it—oh.”
“What now?”
Vivi squints at him. “Are you in love with my sister?”
Cardan lets out an exhausted sigh. “Taryn isn’t really my type.”
They both know they aren’t talking about Taryn. “What the fuck. How long?”
“Like a year. Or maybe my whole life. I’m not sure.”
“Does she know?”
“I really hope not.” Cardan grimaces at his reflection in the mirror, and then looks past himself to see where Jude sleeps on the couch. “She’d never let me live it down.”
“Okay, well…” Vivi pauses. This is more older sibling responsibility than she signed up for. “What are your… intentions?”
“I don’t have any.” Vivi purses her lips, and he adds, “I really don’t. I wasn’t expecting to see her tonight. I kind of thought I’d never see her again after we graduated.” He pauses and looks down at the sink. “I think, someday, I’d like to be a person she likes. That she’s capable of liking.”
“That’s it?”
“That’s it.”
“Huh.” He has it really, really bad. Vivi can’t imagine what Jude said or did to make him feel that way about her. Maybe it was her total lack of regard for him? “Is this why you bullied her for years?”
“I hope not!” Cardan exclaims, in a way that suggests this thought has occurred to him before, and moreover, that it actually bothers him. “I don’t know! I don’t want to be that fucking cliché, Vivi.”
“We’re all cliché in our own special ways,” Vivi says, glancing back at Jude. A vague plot is beginning to take shape in her brain. Jude is the plotter, Taryn the planner—there is a difference—and Vivi the pantser, normally. But there is something here that she thinks she can exploit. “Seeing as you have no pants, you should probably stay over. I don’t think any of our clothes will fit you.”
“Seriously?”
“Seriously. You can have one of the twin beds.” After a beat, she adds, “I’m not telling you which one is Jude’s.”
“Darn,” Cardan deadpans. “Now I don’t know which one to jerk off in.”
Vivi pulls a face. “That’s the idea.” And then, because Cardan is hopeless, she reaches forward and yanks the plug from the drain. “Rinse off your jeans in clean water. Otherwise they’ll dry all stiff and soapy.”
“Thank you for the advice, oh wise one.”
She rolls her eyes and leaves him to it. After checking on Jude, whose coloring and breathing are both normal, she heads back to her room and looks at her phone. Nothing from Taryn, even though it’s later than Vivi thought, but Vivi isn’t worried. Taryn’s kind of like a cat in that, somehow, she always manages to land on her feet. Vivi fires off a quick text to her, then stares at the glowing screen, thinking about the way Cardan had rested his head on top of Jude’s in the back of the taxi.
She texts Heather: sisters are a lot of work
And:
i wish you were here
It’s much earlier in New England. When the three dots pop up to indicate that Heather is typing a reply, Vivi smiles.
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typinggently · 3 years
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I'm still obsessed with that Wincest scenario you came up, based on Coast to Coast, with one brother behind bars and the other free (esp if the one locked up is Sam? Wow)
babe thank you sm...🖤✨✨ honestly the concept is super intriguing to me, too — I love when they’re forced to interact with others independently from each other, I love how weird they are. Honestly, with that concept you could go serial killer AU (which was my first thought, very delicious), or just regular them? Weirdos. Either way, I hope you don’t mind that I’ll take this as an opportunity to, you know —
.🖤.
When you work at a prison, you see all kinds of shit going down during visitor's hours — break ups, reunions, first dates. Tears, laughter, fits of violent rage. You see a lot, you get used to it. And honestly, this here would be endearing.
Would be, if they weren't so fucking odd about it.
It's been about a month now, and the guy's been — difficult. Not like he's out to pick fights, no. Not him. He spends most of his time quietly doing a task or other, always silently busy with something. At this point, they’ve given up on trying to figure out what exactly he's been doing and how he keeps getting his hands on all these tasks and duties, but there's basically not a moment in time when the man isn't doing something. Silently, keeping to himself. But he's pretty, alright? He's got the tan, the handsome face, the trim waist. Guy like him at a place like this — well. So they, the guards, they kinda watch him, watch the way the others watch him. Placing nonverbal bets. Except —
Except, five days in he breaks Trooper's jaw, dislocates Anderson's shoulder and smashes Big Tiger's nose to bits. It's a fucking mess, blood on the floor, shoes slipping on wet tiles, men howling and stumbling, tripping over each other, and the guy at the centre of the storm, tall, pretty, dripping blood. Self-Defense, arguably. Definitely, actually, and by the looks of it, he could’ve done a lot worse but chose not to. So yeah. He's difficult.
It's been about a month now and the other men usually avoid him, let him be pretty and silent in peace. He doesn’t seem too bothered by it, though. Doesn’t try to rise through the ranks despite the fact that he proved he could, easily. Doesn’t open his mouth for more than two words at a time, in fact, letting attempts at conversation slip and drop from him like rain from a lotus flower. Except for Tuesday afternoons, that is. Visiting hours.
Because every Tuesday, 3pm on the dot, the brother will come in. Drop dead gorgeous, tall, summer-sweet ease in every move. Show stopper, that one. He'll sit down, hands folded on the tabletop, shoulders back. Right across from the glass where the guy waits, mirror image. He’ll sit down and open his mouth.
"Look at you," he'll say. "Fuck, I'm sorry, man. This is my fault, isn't it?" That's the usual, of course. Except this guy's pretty like a doll and just as cool, saying the words with the conviction of someone reciting a poem. One could think he’s doing it for an audience, except his eyes don’t seem to register anything in the room that’s not the other guy, hands folded on the tabletop, shoulders back.
"Fuck, baby, 's all my fault, huh?" Face cut from marble. "Let you play with those guns, they always say that oughta mess a kid up in the head. But how are we supposed to know, right? Hell, you never had anyone to teach you good and proper, just me.” Absent father, vet who brought guns and a history of violence into the family, then left. Tragic story, but one has to wonder how it only ever affected just one of them. And for all of those expressions of guilt, the brother is perfectly innocent. Never hurt a fly, apparently, which is at odds with what the judge had to say about the tall one, at odds with what he’s not quite saying now.
“Shoulda known, baby boy." And that's - it's a bit weird. Baby boy, Handsome, Sugar. He says Princess, once, and the other one cracks a smile. Exhales through his nose, flicks his head to the side and the corner of his mouth twitches. Not a word from him, but the brother's pink around the ears, sniffs. "Ah, Sammy, don't gimme that look. Make a guy blush." He doesn't call him Princess again.
"Was it the fuckin' shit you been taking? Break my heart, why don’t you? You said you were clean." - "Clean? Nah, not me." They stare at each other like it's a joke, except no one's laughing. And of course he was tested, right when he came in. The kid hasn't touched pills, syringes, powders in months.
"I'm glad they caught you, man. You were scaring me, baby boy, with the guns and the silver and the chanting at night. They'll fix you right up, I promise. Send you out as a changed man, do a better job of that than I ever could." And he never mentioned that in court, it kinda contradicts some of the other shit he’s reciting, but no one knows what it means. Chanting. The guy sits on his bed at night, sometimes, staring at thin air, a shadow in the dark with glittering eyes, but no one's been smooth enough to sneak a glance at his lips to check if he's whispering.
"Sugar, I shoulda done better by you. You're my baby boy, I shoulda seen it. Always too smart for your own good, baby, too sharp. Shoulda kept you on a tighter leash, kept you closer. Kept you away from those bad influences. Fuck, not like I don't know you like to put your dick where it doesn't belong. Call that nature and nurture, huh?" That’s — yeah, that’s another thing that doesn’t make sense. The guy worked alone, not a trace of any kind of influence to be found. No one but the brother, who’s got a spotless white vest, who’s doing nothing but prove his sorrow, two hours at a time.
And then visitor's hours are over and they get up simultaneously, mirror images, and turn to leave. Neither of them says a word of goodbye, never. As if it’s self-evident that next Tuesday, they’ll be back on opposite sides of that glass, hands folded on the table top, shoulders back. And they are, again and again and again, until one day, neither of them shows up.
-
("Next time," Sam says as he balls up his third wet wipe and drops it into the little trash bag with the others, tinted pink and smelling of iron, "you go in. The food fucking sucked."
"Aw, baby," Dean purrs, "I'll make it up to you. Besides - you look cute in apricot. Your colour, I say."
"Fuck off." Sam shakes his head, but the corner of his mouth is twitching into a smile and he melts into familiar leather seats. Hot with adrenaline, smoke in his hair and sweat shimmering on his cheeks, his temples.
Dean takes his eyes off the road to stare at him, his gaze heavy and greedy, like they haven’t seen each other in months. "So, you make any new friends?" Sam hums, drops his head back, undoes the zipper of his jumpsuit. Rolls his eyes, too, not that Dean would notice. “Yeah, lots.” Dean clicks his tongue, hums, deep and dirty in his throat. “That’s my boy.”)
-
Gotta be all that coco, ayy? Playin' too much of that GTA Playin' too much of that Dr. Dre Doom, Quake, where'd you get the gun from, eh? Really think that metal gonna make you safe? Playing peek-a-boo with the devil these days Black cap back with a trench coat, ayy Living in the valley cuttin' porno tapes
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actualbird · 4 years
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nobody asked but here is every unraveled episode (as of may 2020) as how they’d be as a lover | a 2.5k word long post written in the style of an unraveled about unraveled and also love
Ah. Unraveled. Polygon’s golden boy of a video series where Brian David Gilbert is beckoned into a suit, lured into a blackbox studio, and is only granted escape after he has explained to three cameras whatever batshit video game adjacent thesis he has been cursed with this time. Unraveled is a wonderful video series, and we all love it.
But what if it could love us?
If you’ve ever asked this question to yourself, boy, do I have some content for you, because for the past 2 days, I’ve been working on this post where, for entirely too long, I explain to you how each Unraveled episode would be as a lover. And more importantly, which ones would be the best lovers.
Before I fall deep into this unhinged hole and take you down with me, I need to explain some things.
First: I want to make it clear that I am not categorizing BDG as he portrays himself in each Unraveled. I am instead taking each Unraveled episode as a fully formed being, the story, performance, etc, and letting that shape a character of its own. This character is where I extrapolate details from to create an Unraveled episode’s qualities as a lover. What I’m basically doing is anthropomorphizing Polygon dot com video content. And then making you date them. If this doesn’t make sense, don’t worry, it will as you read along. And if it helps you to visualize the Unraveled Episode As A Lover, I invite you to just imagine whomever it is you are most attracted to---or for those who don’t experience attraction, whomever it is you find most aesthetically pleasing---and then just add in the wild personality traits I describe through the course of this post.
Second: I know what you’re thinking. “Avian, the characteristics of what makes a good lover is subjective!” And I wholeheartedly agree. I’ve been through college, and I’ve witnessed my friends whom I love so dearly enter relationships with some of the most wack ass motherfuckers I’ve ever met. I know that people are into different things. But do I judge them for it? Well, kinda, yeah! Yes, what we want in a lover is subjective, but I’ve consumed a metric fuckton of romance media over the course of my life and am also in a wonderful relationship with my own girlfriend, and thus have my own personal idealized ranking for what makes a good lover. Feel free to disagree with my rankings of Unraveled Lovers, but also, I’m writing this post. I say this with as much love as I possibly can, but if you disagree with me, make your own post. If you don’t wanna make your own post, you’re just going to have to trust me for 2.1k more words.
With that out of the way, let me take you on a journey through the 23 Unraveled Lovers, from worst to best.
BAD TIER: I would probably advise you to break up with these Unraveled Lovers as soon as you are emotionally capable of doing so.
Hoo boy, we’re starting at the bottom. The perfectionists, the nitpickers, the emotionally unavailables. These Unraveled Lovers would have good intentions, but just have aspects within their personality that will wear you and your relationship together down until both of you can no longer take it.
“Ranking all 200+ Megaman robots” is a lover obsessed with the concept of “is this worth it?” They would unknowingly but inevitably rank parts of your own personality on a scale of ‘worth the trouble in this relationship’ and ‘not worth the trouble’. Any lover who deals with you with this kind of dichotomy is somebody you should not be with. You should be accepted and loved for all your parts, the beautiful and the ugly.
“How to make the perfect E3 press conference” is a lover who spent years consuming romance media and has a list of what makes the perfect relationship. So not only do they have unrealistic expectations for what a relationship is, but they will be obsessed with reaching that unreachable perfection. That will definitely put a strain on your relationship until the veneer of desired perfection crumbles away, leaving you both tired and sad.
On a less deep note, “How to tell apart all 596 Fire Emblem characters” just won’t remember any of the names of your friends or family. Sure, they’ll try, but they’ll give up in like 15 minutes and you’ll never be able to take this Unraveled Lover to a family reunion or a party with your friends. Probably not a dealbreaker, but as the Spice Girls said “If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends.” This Unraveled Lover will not. Next.
“No one asked but I found Mortal Kombat’s best cuddler” and “I wasted 3 weeks of my life finding Castlevania’s hottest monster” are two Unraveled Lovers with a similar problem: they both won’t shut the fuck up about their exes. Mortal Kuddler constantly brings up all the other cuddles they’ve experienced and Castlevanias Hottest Monster will tell you you’re beautiful, but also bring up like 69 other monsters they think are also beautiful. This might not be a red flag, but personally, this would tire me out, always being thought of in comparison or contrast to others.
That ends the BAD TIER and brings us to the OKAY TIER where a large chunk of the Unraveled Lovers fall into, so much so that I had to create more specific sub tiers under the OKAY TIER.
So let’s get into the OKAY TIER: These Unraveleds Lovers are alright, you’ll just have a sublimely weird relationship.
These Unraveled Lovers will treat you right but they’re also just very peculiar. Nothing wrong with that at all, but I’m here to explain to you just in what ways these okayest lovers are bizarre. Let’s start with the first sub tier.
OKAY SUB TIER: College Students who are way too into their major
There are a lot of Unraveled Lovers under this subtier, and this shouldn’t surprise you, because Unraveleds are inherently nerdy. These are lovers that will be good to you but also just never fucking shut up about what it is they’re studying.
“I read all 337 books of Skyrim so that you don’t have to” and "Understanding Kingdom Hearts (and every other story" are Creative Writing majors obsessed with analyzing every single thing they read. As a Creative Writing major myself, I would advise you to never date a Creative Writing major unless you are a Creative Writing major yourself. I think that’s the only way the relationship can be ethical. Being sent essays from the New Yorker every day would be torture if you didn’t actively enjoy it.
“We made all 78 Breath of Wild recipes in one day” is a Culinary Arts major and, score, they’re gonna wanna cook for you! A lot! Beware though, because it’ll be a hit or miss on whether or not the food will be good, but you must admit, that there is nothing quite as attractive as your lover making you food (let’s just hope the food doesn’t harm you).
“Smash Bros. owes millions of dollars in OSHA violations” is going to law school and that should be a dealbreaker in itself, but I’ll be a bit lenient because they’re always working towards the safety of everybody. This Unraveled Lover will always remind you to put your seatbelt on and also tell you exactly what laws you are violating.
“Bowser’s military hierarchy” is a Political Science major, and Political Science majors scare me. So I’ll just say they’re okay, and leave it at that.
“Which Dark Souls Boss is the best manager?” is a rare non-evil Management major because they actually truly care for the welfare of employees. They just will always talk about it, even when you guys are on a date. I know worker’s rights are important, but it’s not exactly what I want to talk about in between kisses, yknow?
“I fixed Fallout’s music by creating a totally new genre” is a Music major who keeps accidentally making Ska love songs to you. You didn’t know Ska love songs could be a thing. This Unraveled Lover makes it a thing.
“Scientifically Calculating the Game of the Year” is a Math major so you will never have to worry about calculating bills because they can do it for you.
“Calculate your pet’s HP with my 100% legitimate formula” is a Veterinary Medicine major so if you’re an animal lover, this Unraveled is the one for you! Just beware, because this Unraveled Lover will also spend a lot of time observing you from afar to quantify your health points, but both of you will inexplicably find this activity strengthens your relationship.
And last but not least for this sub tier, “When can Mario retire?” is a disillusioned Accounting and Finance major who chose this line of study to get a job and, through the years, realized what a hellscape capitalism is. You may have to deal with a lot of zoning out and staring off into the distance, with this Unraveled Lover, but a lover who hates capitalism sure is a good egg.
That brings us to our next sub tier!
OKAY SUB TIER: Cultists or Conspiracy Theorists (AKA...College Students who are way too into their extracurriculars)
These Unraveled Lovers are alright! They’re just a little bit off the shits.
“Every Sonic game is blasphemous” will get really really worked up about things and probably try to start a cult. For most, that’s a definite dealbreaker, but what makes Sonic Bible an okay lover is that they eventually calm down from the cult outburst and apologize. So this Unraveled Lover will treat you well, you just have to be ready to ground them when they get a little bit bonkers.
“Solving the Zelda Timeline in 15 minutes” is very similar to Sonic Bible, except instead of starting a cult, every once in a while they’ll just sit you down on a chair and explain to you their latest obsession while slowly and intensely stripping. Which, hey, that could make for a fun night, if you’re into that kinda stuff! Definitely okay in my book.
That brings us to our last okay sub tier.
OKAY SUB TIER: Your Unraveled Lover might need to schedule some sessions with a therapist, and that’s Okay
Listen, we all have baggage. We all have problems. These are Unraveled Lovers who want to be the best for you, but at the same time have issues of their own, and you’re going to have to support them when they pop into their local psych clinic to make themselves better people.
“Waluigi” is an Unraveled Lover who is going through some identity issues. They want to be good for you, but they don’t even know who exactly they are. They may feel as if they are tricking you into being in this relationship, that they aren’t who you think they are, and while these fears are irrational, they wholeheartedly believe it and will never feel fully secure in this relationship until they have made peace with themselves. If you love this Unraveled Lover, you’re going to have to stick with them as they learn more about who they are.
“Kirby” is an Unraveled Lover who, for some reason, is obsessed with the constant quest to make things make sense. This need of theirs bleeds into every aspect of their life and can definitely affect your relationship. This Unraveled Lover may sometimes perhaps cite that they don’t deserve you because they can’t seem to figure out a logical and objective answer for why you are with them. This issue of treating everything like a puzzle to solve is an issue they will have to work out and recover from, and they will be receptive to this process of recovery because they cherish the relationship they have with you and understand that not everything has to be solved; some things can just be felt. If you choose to stay with this Unraveled Lover, you must be prepared to support them when they take a mysterious but needed soul searching journey in the woods. You must be prepared to sit with them along the shores of the beach and reassure them that life is about living, not about answers.
And that, dear readers, ends the OKAY TIERs. Now it’s time for the tier you have all been waiting for.
Drumroll, please!
GOOD TIER: Pop open the champagne, bring out the strawberries dipped in chocolate, and let Spotify play Careless Whisper, baby, because we’re in the Ideal Lover zone.
Welcome to the Ideal Lover Zone. Here, we have three Unraveled Lovers who are just extremely good fellas.
“I used the Sims to perfect my apartment” is an Unraveled Lover who will work their hardest to be the best for you, but unlike the BAD TIER perfectionists, it will naturally dawn to them that perfection is unattainable. After this realization, they will find comfort and happiness in your romantic relationship and the other healthy relationships they have with other people. This Unraveled Lover will be sincere with you when the time calls for it, but will also not be afraid to be goofy for it. Above all, this Unraveled Lover will ask for help when they need it. They may often be shy, at first, but they understand their limits and will openly communicate to you when situations call for it. Communication is the bedrock of any good relationship, and this Unraveled Lover will never keep you guessing.
“The Perfect Pokerap” is similar to the Sims, in the sense that they will at first strive for perfection in the honeymoon phase of your relationship but then understand that that isn’t possible and then set more reasonable and realistic goals. What sets this Unraveled Lover out from the crowd though is just how much they cherish you. How devoted they are to you. The love you will feel in this relationship will be transcendental, and, even if you do break up, this Unraveled Lover will never forget you.
And finally. Who---according to me, a mildly delirious 21 year old rando on the internet---is the most ideal Unraveled Lover?
It’s “Find your Kojima name with my simple 11 page form.” Why? Because this Unraveled Lover wants to know you. They want to know everything about you, the parts you like and the parts you don’t like. This is a lover who will not shy away from any aspect of yourself, but instead, embrace you for who you are as a full fledged person.
They’ll also give you a whack ass pet name, and boy, isn’t that romantic?
Well, there you have it. All (as of May, 2020) of the Unraveled Episodes as 23 Unraveled Lovers. What did I learn from this endeavor? That romantic love is complicated, but if you’re into it, it is definitely worth the trials and tribulations.
...As long as I’m not dating the Castlevania Unraveled. Seriously, when we’re making out, I don’t wanna hear about how sexy the Hyena With Gun is. Learn how to read the room, dude.
(Thanks for reading.)
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HSMTMTS 2x9: so dreaded, so exciting, 'Sword!' (yeah, I went there, I've been thinking about this scene - you know the one - since yesterday for some reason)
After two computer malfunctions and a very tough, very sleepless night, here I am with a third attempt to write this post. The universe is against me today. Is Mercury in retrograde or something? Ugh, I just want to get this over with already. And I haven't even managed to see half the episode yet. You better like this cursed post because it's taken me two hours at this point, and will probably take another to finish - and that is if nothing goes wrong this time. Please bear with me. This is my reaction to HSMTMTS 2x9, take 3. Let's hope and pray it's the last one.
I'm normally [unpopular opinion alert] a very spoiler-positive person (it's the combination of anxiety and ADHD and a bunch of other stuff, I suppose), but for this one I've been refraining from looking at the tag all morning, so by now I'm simply bursting with impatience. But before we dive in, I need to get some stuff off my chest.
Some pre-watch thoughts and feelings (let's see how well they will have aged by the end of the episode):
Seriously, what is with whoever writes this show? I know it's impossible, but I feel like they've been toying with my emotions specifically all season. Like:
Ah, so you were a Rini shipper last season? Great, now we'll make them obnoxious and borderline toxic to the point where you actually want them to break up, but then their old chemistry will be back just for the breakup scene so that you can cry your eyes out over the one couple you couldn't stand - even though you can't seem to relate to a single song from Sour, we'll make you feel like you do for a hot second. At least it will remind you that you loved Ricky.
So you say Redlyn own your heart and soul? Great, we'll make you dread something going wrong with them for a week straight, and mess up your sleep schedule beyond repair over it. You're welcome!
We heard you said Rodfini give you life? Perfect, how about a big Seblos fight? And would you like a side of questioning your choice to stan Carlos with that? Because what is life without a little anxiety, a bit of doubt of your ability to read people, and a pinch of existential dread, right?
Ah, so you claimed not to ship Portwell romantically, is that right? Brilliant, we'll make you ship them and then we'll use that to torture you, too.
You've been excited about ABF and Asher Angel guest-starring ever since they were announced? Magnificent! We'll make you hate ABF's character to the point where you can't even look at him, and we'll make you call him names you thought yourself incapable of uttering. And as for Asher, you'll be left waiting for him until the last third of the season, and then you'll dread the possibility of hating his character, too. Do you love us yet?
Oof! Right then, I've got that out of my system. Time to dive in.
Miss Jenn playing around with the backgrounds is, like, 90% of the people who had online school this year, and honestly, I love that for her.
Wait, why is Nini first on this call? Are they going through with the Rose thing? Cos like, the song is nice and all (and, might I add, much more to my taste than nearly all of Sour, don't @ me), but if they use it, it will get them disqualified. They’ve been told that! Gosh, please let me be wrong about this.
We get it, Carlito, rich and fancy and over-the-top is kind of your thing, but have you stopped for a second to think about how others will feel about this? Especially Seb, whom you claim to care about. Seriously, though, I love Carlos and would not hesitate to die for him, but I’m getting the feeling that, unlike my other favourite (you know the one), he wouldn’t do the same for me. Oh well, he’ll figure it out. He’s just a kid. Give him time.
Wait, Milky White? Is that an Into the Woods reference I smell? Cool! If I had a cow, I’d totally name her Milky White (or Gertrude, but don’t ask me why). I just hope they don’t have to, like, take her to the market and exchange her for magic beans, if you catch my drift.
Ahhhhh, Caswell cousins content! We love to see it!
‘You guys are watching, like, old old movies’ WTH, Nini (or is it Nina)? Scary Movie is literally younger than me. But what do you know about it, you 21st-century baby! Ugh, I don’t know why I’m being so hostile today... must be the lack of sleep. Hope it doesn’t influence my reactions to the episode so dramatically as to make me forget how much I love this series. Because I do.
Yay! Big Red is here! I can finally smile. And did Ash just say they’re soulmates? Because yes they are! Ahhh my heart is going to explode.
‘Nini, have you heard from [Ricky]?’ Yikes, awkward... but of course, Big Red can be counted on to save the day here, too.
Ok, so that was a cool cold open. Time for some nice in-person scenes, though. I did not spend all of three semesters doing online school just to have the characters of my favourite series do the same.
Wow, Gina is really embracing that French accent thing! And I really don’t want to think about, erm, ‘Napoleon over here’ right now, but I really think the fact that she’s doing it better than him will be another piece of evidence towards my theory of fake-French!Antoine... ugh, I said his name. Oh well. Back to Gina. Too bad the French thing didn’t work out for her.
Ahhhh, Portwell with Ash in the background! And Ash is going to paint EJ’s nails! I feel like he’s going to end up loving that, despite what he says right now. But seriously, I just love how comfortable these two are with each other. Can you blame me now for shipping them as friends? Well, I mean, it’s obvious they will be more than friends, and somehow, despite the amatonormativity of it all, I’m here for it.
Wait, was that Asher? That was Asher, I’m 100% sure of it. And Gina said ‘a sign’ and then looked at him, even from the back... what am I supposed to think and feel here? I’m confused. Moving on.
Ahh, poor Ricky being a burrito... good thing that breakup scene last time reminded me that I love him, because the entirety of the season before that was very good at making me forget that.
Wait, did she say ‘the Bean’? As in, that Bean? The infamous Bean? LOL.
‘So the only time you two talk to each other is to gossip about me’ Boy, did I feel that. I once got my hands on my dad’s mobile and I... kind of went through his texts with mum. Yep, all about me and my brother. At this point I feel like they’re only together because of us. But this is getting too personal. I’m here about the episode, not to rant about my family. Moving on.
Yikes, looks like Nini’s got writer’s block all over again. Am I supposed to feel sorry for her? Because I kind of don’t. I mean, no hate towards her, none at all, but that entire scene just felt awkward and unnecessary. And not just because it’s her first time going live. That I can understand. What I don’t understand is why the writers can’t seem to do anything creative and interesting with Nini. Olivia is being wasted there. Idk, that’s just how I feel. Again, no hate.
Ahhhhh it’s Asher! And well, he’s not Jonah, but I kind of really like him as Jack. I wonder if that will last.
So is it just me, or is anyone else not quite sure how to feel about Ricky’s mum? I mean, their interactions seem kind of awkward and strained, but that’s how it’s supposed to be given their recent history, and yet something just doesn’t sit quite right with me.
‘You there, Muse? It’s me, Nini!’ Ah, so it’s Nini again? I didn’t get the memo. Gosh, this episode is kind of really underwhelming. The most exciting thing so far (but not nearly as exciting in practice as it was in theory) – Asher and Sofia’s on-screen reunion. The second most exciting thing? The thought of Ash painting EJ’s nails. Everything else? Kind of ‘whatever’. Is this what I tossed and turned about all night? Totally not worth it. This episode better get, like, 300% better right this instant. It’s just not worth all the frustration and excitement and dread so far.
Looks like my prayers from just now have been heard! That improv scene was hilarious! Guess it was lucky that Miss Jenn had them do improv before this moment. But I need to know more of Jack’s backstory now.
Ok, so that was awkward! So Kourtney is talking to Howie again, I guess. And I guess I know now what Carlos did that was all public and no subtle. Still, what’s wrong with posting photos from your holiday? Guess I don’t exactly know yet what Carlos did to piss the others off so much.
Great, now I’m tempted to google butterfly faces. Good thing I’m not eating anymore. *** Ughhhhh this was a mistake! Please don’t ever look a butterfly in the face if you want to stay sane. Don’t be like me.
Ahhh the Duke sweater! ‘Is that your boyfriend’s?’ Well, not quite yet, it’s not... *screams in Portwell*
Oh, now we’re talking! But seriously, Ricky? The ‘my friends think’ card? Why don’t you just say ‘I think’? It’s clearly something you’ve thought about a lot. I feel like I’m going to love this scene or cry over it or both.
Ooh, therapy. It’s not just... basically the entire fandom... who says it now. Please tell me that means Ricky will be going to therapy at some point. Says the girl who is currently firmly refusing to go to therapy in favour of hyperfixating on HSMTMTS and getting back into the good old practice of having imaginary friends... yeah, I’m one to talk.
My, my, my! Seb has really had it now. I mean, it was about time, but... not quite like this. My heart is starting to do some weird stuff, I can feel it. I might need to lie down.
Ok, so as much as I envy North High for getting to see so many shows on BWay – basically living out my dream – stalking East High on Instagram and being shady about them taking a well-deserved break... just goes beyond all limits. I mean, if you’re so into Broadway shows, you should know as well as I do what happened the last time a certain founding father did not take a break. Maybe you’re the ones in need of a break here.
Nini on the call with the Caswell cousins, though... ‘I’m obsessed with both of you’ – first relatable thing she’s said or done all season. And EJ playing with old toys is pure gold.
Oh, so Jack’s dad is a pilot. Makes sense, I guess. I’m kind of intrigued by this guy. Just as long as he doesn’t try to come between Portwell before they’ve had the chance to happen, you know...
Ashlyn might need to stop swooning over Nini’s songwriting or Big Red might get jealous... I mean, I would not have pinned him as the jealous type before 2x7, but ever since then... I guess insecure + dating a girl like Ash = the jealous type. And although that looks good on him, I’d bet anything it doesn’t feel particularly pleasant on his side. So... wait, why am I talking about Big Red? He hasn’t even got anything to do with the scene at hand. But then again, there’s been so little Big Red content in this episode that I seem to be trying to make up for it. Still. Stay focused.
Ooh, so Big Red did edit that video! Is there anything my boy can’t do? Ok, now I feel like he’s even more criminally underappreciated than he was before. But let’s look at the video. I’m curious to see the whole thing because that sneak peek from yesterday simply hasn’t been enough.
That was... really, really cool! I love how they took the ‘when they go low, we go high’ line from last time and run with it. Now if only they were putting as much effort into BATB... North High wouldn’t know what hit them.
Hmmmm... I guess Gina and Jack could be what I originally wanted Portwell to be... really cool friends. Unless it’s one of those ‘airport magic’ things. Oh well. It probably is. Was that all we’re seeing of Asher here? I did not wait 2/3 of the season for this. Though it was nice.
Ooh, Ricky’s solo song... why is there more Rini chemistry in this song than there was in all the season? Not counting the breakup scene, of course. Also, I feel like it’s just as much about him and his mum as it is about Nini. Some say music is the best therapy. I think they might be right. And no, I’m not crying. You are.
The granola bar, though... this episode might have been very underwhelming in the first half, but... it delivered in the Portwell front, and the music was *chef’s kiss*, so I’m willing to let it slide that the advertised Seblos ‘big fight’ was not touched upon nearly enough. Maybe next week...
Ok, now that we’re done watching the episode, let’s see how my feelings from the beginning have aged:
The Rini breakup: apparently, along with reminding me that I love Ricky, it has rendered me unable to look at Nini. What’s up with that? If this is some sort of tactic along the lines of ‘Olivia might be leaving the show so we’re making you hate her character so that you won’t miss her’, it’s not really working. Because I don’t want to hate Nini. Believe me, I don’t.
Redlyn: ok, so there’s nothing wrong with them whatsoever - we even got a ‘soulmates’, which I loved - but first they’re being swept under the rug, and then the antis come at us with that ‘their relationship is underdeveloped’ nonsense. Individually, though, I liked them in this episode (even if there was a significant shortage of Big Red), and Ashlyn collaborating with Nini again was cool, but... what I really wanted to see was her painting EJ’s nails. Did she even get the chance to actually do it? Maybe next week.
Seblos: I’m still failing to understand exactly what Seb thinks Carlos did wrong (please enlighten me if you did catch that, I’m kind of slow), but he (Seb) does have reasons to be mad at him (Carlos)... and at other people, too. Still, if you want to have a fight between two people in a relationship, you could do much better than whatever this episode was. Maybe next week. I notice I’m saying that a lot. Guess I’m putting a lot of hopes on 2x10. I just pray it doesn’t disappoint.
Portwell: boy, am I happy that my frustration on this front did not age well! What I mean is, apparently they’ve decided to bless us, not torture us for once. Even a rather disappointing episode like this one had to have some sort of silver lining. And Portwell is it.
Asher as Jack: well, luckily I didn’t hate him, but... it’s kind of the opposite problem. I loved him and now they’re taking him away from me. Guess I just can’t win here. Oh well. At least he didn’t have the screen time to get in between Portwell...
All in all: 2x10, my hopes and prayers are with you!
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luxshine · 4 years
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The Great Supernatural Rewatch Project - Salvation
I started writting this in the middle of season 13 but RL and work and some mental health issues made me take a step back from fandom in general and well, I was also fearing this would be an unending job since the series JUST.KEPT. GOING.
However, now that the series is done (And omg, what a clusterfuck that was. My tallies are going to go insane if I get there) and thus there’s an ending in sight, I will do my best to finish season 1, and try and get the rest of the seasons in a more timely manner. Say, before they do the inevitable reunion and ignore the last episode completely.
(I’m going to be honest, part of the problem was that Supernatural used to be SO good back then, and when I see the new episodes I weep a bit inside. I can’t believe they were so much better at creating story arcs when they weren’t TRYING to create story arcs)
Of course, now we all know that Dean’s plots in general will not have a happy ending no matter what, and that makes that particular tally bittersweet. But there are STILL people who claim that nope, Dean was never mistreated by the writers and well, Jack damn it, I am not going to let that claim go without bringing numbers to the table. Hopefully, it won’t take me 15 years to finish (Because by then, I would be the only one caring I guess)
In any case, last lap for Season 1 and we begin with Salvation.
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General stuff
A specific reason for me having rage quitted this episode in particular for so long: For some stupid copyright thing with Netflix, they don’t have Carry On My Wayward Son as the song for the final recap –at least in Netflix Latam. And Supernatural without Carry On My Wayward Son is no Supernatural. So I had to hunt my DVDs. Then my computer DVD player died. Then I decided to make 5 webcomics at the same time. THEN I decided to start doing illustration works, and three other projects and let’s just say I am a bit of a workaholic and leave it like that as the rest is not SPN-related.
Ahem.
Funny thing about the Road so Far –you know, besides being a LOT shorter than the ones we’re getting now- is that it focuses a lot more on DEAN at the beginning, while if you watch the show, well, we know most of those Dean scenes come from MoW episodes and not the actual mytharc. Another interesting thing is that if one believes those things to be chronological, it makes it as if the Colt had been with the brothers for a lot longer than half an episode, and that Sam’s issue with the visions is not that recent. Edition Magic everyone! Also, omg, they were babies when the series started, and how WEIRD is to see John looking at them with pride and smiling at Dean at some points.
Anyway, the recap and the epicness that is Carry On my Wayward Son ends and we start the actual plot.
Hello Pastor Jim. Goodbye Pastor Jim. And here Supernatural begins the long, long tradition of killing characters who could’ve been useful later on, and more importantly, that could’ve been the boys’s support system later on. While here it’s understandable since we need to show how dangerous and vicious Meg is –ah, irony that in about 8 seasons people will be rooting for her Redemption- it also makes the Hunters kind of useless. I mean, he has all that weaponry and only uses a knife? Sigh. Really, a waste. Pastor Jim as a concept was really intriguing –and I don’t think we’ve heard of any other hunter who was also a priest. Funny, when we have so many demons free now. There’s also the fact that when Pastor Jim claims that she can’t be in the church because it’s hallowed ground, she replies that “That might work with the minor leagues, but not with her” and I wonder… did we ever got a demon that couldn’t enter a church? Because right now out of the top of my head I can’t remember, and yet Pastor Jim was surprised but later no one seems to think it weird there were signs of demonic activity around his body. Another sign that, as engaging as the series was, once we start digging the world building, things fall apart very quickly.
Actually, if I may digress for a bit, here we have the very first look at Supernatural´s second biggest problem: killing support characters that may have been useful lately. Here it is because Kirkpe had this weird idea that Hunting would never be glamorized by the show/fandom and it would be a completely miserable and lonely existence. He also didn’t think that the series would survive past season 2. So, ok, killing the guy we only knew by throw away lines didn’t seem so bad. By season 13 every single recurring character had died at least once –and there were petitions to bring back I think every one of those who haven’t come back- it’s a big problem.
As I restarted writing, I also realized that the mere existence of Pastor Jim and his room of awesome research and weapons creates a problem in the future about the Men of Letters because… ok, so ONE member of the clerigy knew enough about demons and stuff to be a hunter and have THE Hunter as his main contact (John Winchester was sort of a legend back then. And he had also fell out of contact with many others so the fact that he and Pastor Jim were still friendly? Kind of interesting), but what about the rest? Did the Vatican have any contact with the British men of Letters or the American ones? And if so, what the hell did they think when suddenly ALL the Men of Letters disappeared? Ok, so that’s a lot of stuff that doesn’t matter right now as it won’t actually exist until much, much, MUCH latter, but see what I mean when I say that they didn’t plan anything and the lack of a series bible hurts the show more than it helped it thrive? I am realizing right now I could write a whole treaty on the Men of Letters and their non-relationship with hunters ONLY using this cold beginning and the Henry Winchester episode.
But this is not the time for that, so we get our title card and a very, VERY young Jeffrey Dean Morgan.
We move to John who is explaining off camera everything he knows about Yellow Eye´s plan. We can tell it´s not much as he thinks it came out of hibernation and that the whole attacking families is part of a cycle, but back then it was impressive how much he had managed to find out about this demon. We also know that it attacks exactly when the baby in the house is six months old, which brings us to this little jewel:
JOHN It starts in Arizona, then New Jersey, California. Houses burned down to the ground. It's going after families, just like it went after us.
SAM Families with infants?
JOHN Yeah. The night of the kid's six-month birthday. 
SAM I was six months old that night?
JOHN Exactly six months.
SAM So basically, this demon is going after these kids for some reason. The same way it came for me? So Mom's death...Jessica. It's all because of me?
DEAN We don't know that Sam.
SAM Oh really? Cause I'd say we're pretty damn sure Dean.
DEAN For the last time, what happened to them was not your fault. 
SAM Right. It's not my fault but it's my problem.
DEAN No it's not your problem it's our problem!
 Now, in the following seasons we will know that yes, it was ALL about Sam. But right now, the characters and the viewers don´t know that. We know that a lot of families were killed by the demon (That at this point was still “The demon” and wouldn´t become Azazael until later), and that he doesn´t take the children. So… how did Sam leap from “this demon attacks families with 6 month old children” to “It´s all about ME!”? He even ignores that Dean and John lost Mary for his last line, when he decides it´s his problem and not their problem. Also, and this is important for the “Dean is the most awful person to Sam” crowd… Dean immediately tells Sam that no, it´s not his fault. While he could harbor some ill feelings against Sam –and demon Dean, 8 seasons later, will voice them- at this point he is 100% on Sam´s side. There’s also a sideway glance from John to DEAN when Sam claims that everything is about him, and then I wonder exactly why, if John knew all about the fact that the demon chased six month old children specifically, he never resented Sam over it. One would think that given John’s love for Mary and deep desire to revenge, Sam would really be the outcast and the one only treated like a soldier (as he claims he was, but not really as we’ve seen), instead of Dean who was completely blameless in the whole thing.
(Also, this is the first time we see that Azazael´s plan didn´t make much sense IF we believed that Kirkpe had everything planned. But that´s a discussion for another time)
Anyway, John interrupts the argument to explain that while he has no idea what the demon is after (Another thing that later would be contradicted as he knew Sam had powers), but that he has managed to figure out his pattern of attack to the point that it even repeated it for Jessica’s killing (Even if much, much later, we’ll learn that it wasn’t Azazael the one who killed her, and Demons would completely forego the signs when attacking. Have I mentioned I miss the times when the myths made sense?) and the three of them pack up for their first real hunt together as they decide they will save the next baby on the demon’s list, in a town named Salvation.
Important thing to note: when John recites the demon signs, Dean immediately replies “that happened in Lawerence”. He remembers, quite clearly, what happened a week before his mother died even if logistically, at his age? He wouldn’t care nor notice. Sure, he remembers his mom’s death because that was traumatic. But random cow deaths before that? Weird show.
If Sam noticed or not the signs before Jessica died, we don’t know. John is the one who points out they happened.
After two gorgeous road shots where we see John’s truck being followed by Baby (yet another thing we lost, John’s truck. I know we needed to have the guys together all the time, but man, if Sam had inherited it, they would’ve been able to cover more terrain at times, have double the arsenal and maybe not being identified by everyone and their leviathan in season 7, but I digress), and just entering Salvation John stops, obviously spooked by something. As Dean stops behind him, they find out that Pastor Jim is dead, and John got a call from another hunter named Caleb to tell him. They assume it may be the demon they’re chasing, or maybe another demon that was looking for Pastor Jim specifically but that last theory is not very probable.
Here I have to pause to applaud Jeffrey Dean Morgan’s acting, as you can practically FEEL John’s despair at knowing an old friend of him died, and that HE was probably the cause for that death. A Winchester trait, of course, blaming themselves for everything bad that happens in their world, but unlike Sam’s early outburst, here it seems far more desperate. Of course, JDM had a lot more experience than Jared at that point, but I really wanted to make a note of it because we lost a LOT of that characterization for John, where he actually WORRIED about people and not just the hunt. Even as he decides the plan for finding out what baby the demon will take in a week, we can see him broken and confused. So much that while Sam calls him “sir” when receiving orders, Dean continues the conversation by calling him “Dad”.
John then declares that this ends now, obviously feeling responsible for what happened to his friend. A long shot from the flanderized man we’d hear about in future seasons who was infamous for letting his hunting partners die without so much as a second glance.
Also, and not to be mean to the writers, but in their endless accidentally making Sam unsympathetic, they made him say that there were too many children in the county that could be a victim and that it would take forever to check all of them. While I KNOW the intent was to make clear that they had a deadline of one week, it comes out weirdly as “I don’t want to do the footwork.” Seriously, writers should be careful with that.
Actually, let’s dissect that. Because I just thought of two ways they could’ve fixed it AND give us more info.
JOHN Now we act like every second counts. There's two hospitals and a health centre in this county. We split up, cover more ground. I want records. I want a list of every infant that's going to be six months old in the next week.
SAM Dad that could be dozens of kids. How do we know which one's the right one?
JOHN We check em all that's how. You got any better ideas?
SAM No sir.
So, first way to make Sam not look that bad: Give the line to Dean. I wouldn’t like it specially, but hey, he’s the sidekick, not the hero, and so far he has only wanted to bail on ONE hunt because he wasn’t sure it was a supernatural hunt so he’d be better standing than Sam in that regard.
Second way: Make Sam say that YES, he has a better idea. Because the brothers ALREADY faced Max, so he could say they could look for a baby that was a bit “strange”, like, with poltergeist stuff going around. John could not believe him, but at least Sam would be being proactive.
In any case, they separate as John planned and we see each of them get into the hospital records. We get a glimpse of John’s collection of fake IDs, that include one for a Morgue forensic doctor, then Sam getting a homely nurse giving him files and him taking notes, and Dean… getting flirty with a very hot nurse.
And I make a point of the “Oh, look, Dean is an irresponsible womanizer” trope because once again the writers shoot themselves in the foot by showing the opposite of what they were telling (And no, this time I can’t blame it on Jensen’s acting and refusal to look at his female co-stars without respect).
WOMAN Hi. Is there anything I can do for you?
DEAN (smiling) Oh God yes.
She smiles and looks down.
DEAN (Holding up his ID) Only I'm uh....working right now, so...
The writers here make us remember that a) Dean is AMAZINGLY charismatic, as the woman IS flattered and seems interested, and b) That he will NOT dump his work for a quickie. We don’t even get a “maybe later” that could make him look as if he was really into her. It’s just that he flirts naturally, or at least, this is what we can infer now, as so far he hasn’t had any one night stand fling. The one time we saw him have a sexual encounter in the middle of a hunt was with an ex-girlfriend.
And again I have to wonder what was Sera Gamble’s intention with those scenes as yes, this was written by the same team as Faith, another episode where Sam’s good intentions tend to have a darker side, and gave Dean some amazingly cool scenes.
We don’t know what Dean says to the woman, as we cut back to Sam, coming out of the hospital just in time to have a very convenient vision of a woman, a nursery and a fire. Thankfully, the vision also comes with the useful audio hint of a train passing by, so Sam gets out his map and starts checking where that could be, which leads him to the house in his vision.
And by this point, we know we’re in the right track and this is an important Myth Arc episode, because Sam only has multiple visions in Myth Arc episodes, and he has one the moment he steps in front of the house in said vision. The gods of convenience smile upon him as right then and there a woman pushing a pram comes by, and he manages to talk to her, all friendly like by pretending to having just moved. Then Sam learns the woman’s name is Monica, her baby is Rosie, and Rosie is just six months old, exactly to the day.
Also, that she’s a very quiet baby and that it sometimes seems as if she was reading your mind. Oh, and that Monica really is blind to suspicious men asking her about her family with a face that reads “Oh shit, this is bad”.
Now, HERE is where the whole “five year myth arc” story falls completely. I mean, we already knew it was pretty unlikely it was real, given Kirkpe’s original interviews, but the mere existence of Rosie contradicts every single future story beat. Because if SHE has powers before Azazael goes into her house, then it means that the babies he was hunting didn’t get powers because of him, just that his blood either connected them (hence Sam’s very specific visions), made said powers far more powerful (quite likely), or made them a little bit more prone to violence/prideful behavior. All of those possibilities match with the plan of “raising” a new King or Queen of Hell, that would be faithful to Azazael, but are a bit iffy on the “finding Lucifer’s vessel” thing. Especially since we later learn that the Angels were also helping, and all Hell knew that Lucifer’s vessel HAD to come from the Winchester/Campbell bloodline due to Cain and Abel being the roots of said bloodline, and later pretty much everyone knew Sam was Lucifer’s vessel so the whole targeting a ton of kids, in particular after Mary’s death, is kinda weird.
Oh, Lux, you will say, it is because he wanted to hide his true intentions! No one knew that Sam had been feed demon blood!
Except that the important parties, namely Heaven and Hell, did. Michael had Heaven convinced of his orders, so even if a rogue angel found out that they were speed running the Apocalypse, said angel could be killed. And any demon who was against getting Lucifer back on top would be smart enough to keep quiet so, why the secrecy?
And again, ok, I buy the original demon blood kids being important to “hide” Lucifer’s vessel but… Rosie? What good would it do to Azazael’s plan to have a psychic 4 year old when Lucifer rose? Was “little four year old girl” a good match against a grown up hunter? What was Azazel thinking, if that was the plan all the time?
Now, I want to make clear this doesn’t make THIS episode or the Season-myth arc bad. This original “Boy King of Hell” storyline WAS good. It had a lot of potential, made sense for Sam and since it was before the days of the eternal “What is wrong with Sam?” seasons, there was no boredom of a repeat. It also set a very good question of what made a monster a monster, which would be explored a bit more in Season 2. And it was long before we realized Dean having a myth arc was a pipe dream, so there was no issue there either. It made sense.
But the fact that the writers kind of forgot about everything I just pointed out with Rosie’s scene to try and weld this to the “Heaven vs. Hell” storyline in season 4, and then just promptly forgot because Sam’s powers were then firmly connected to Azazael’s blood so they never came up again and even worse, we never find another psychic kid that could’ve been feed blood by Azazael THIS year that John was chasing him? (Since we know there were no other survivors from Sam’s generation, and later we have a scene that proves that there were no previous generations to Sam’s), it's kind of weird. Personally, I dunno about you, but maybe a return to this storyline in season 6 would’ve been a lot better than we got. Maybe.
By the way, I am not counting the Boy King of Hell story arc as a dropped plot for Sam yet, as we’re going to keep with this at least until season 3. Yes, now we know it didn’t go anywhere, but at the time, and for these episodes in particular, it was THE myth arc of Supernatural. So it can’t be counted as dropped plot yet.
In any case, Sam goes and tells John and Dean about his vision and… oh, boy do we have to move John’s reaction to Emotional Violence.
It’s not good.
But before he can do more damage to Dean’s psyche, Sam gets a call from our favorite demon, Meg. Even if he doesn’t recognize her voice immediately which is weird because a) he did throw her off a window and one would think that makes a girl memorable, and b) it’s not as he knows that many girls who would call him, despite Dean’s best efforts to get him a new girl.
Meg dismisses Sam and asks for John. She makes clear that she is not playing, that she knows he has the Colt and that he will kill every single person who has ever helped John unless he gives it to her that same day at midnight. And to the brothers’ surprise, John accepts those terms (Unfortunately not before we loss Caleb too. I have a lot less interest in Caleb as a character given that he has exactly half a line in the whole show, but it’s still it’s sad to see a guy so defiant even in the face of death go so soon).
Meg also points out that John having the Colt is a “declaration of war” which is interesting as it sort of implies that if he hadn’t gotten it, then the demons would leave him and the brothers alone. And I find that incredibly funny since… no they won’t. And Azazael would’ve been ok if Sam kept the gun anyway, given why they really wanted and once again I am putting holes on the idea that this was planned from the start, aren’t I?
In any case, John declares that Meg is a demon “or is possessed by one” which… ok? First and only time we get the possibility of a demon not using a meat suit. I don’t think this is a mistake, because after all, this is back before the guys faced demons in a normal basis so they could believe that they had their own bodies besides the ones they possessed (And, more importantly, before there was a retcon that made the brothers face and know about demons since pretty much ever). To be completely fair, as much as I love Jimmy and the whole Lucifer arc once it started to make sense… I would’ve been ok if vessels weren’t needed. It added a lot of complications and ended up making the brothers actual serial killers.
Ahem.
After that little gem of wisdom that will be ignored forever, John declares that he will be taking the gun to Meg to avoid more killing and we get another questionable line for Sam. And I am curious as to how to tally it as it’s the opposite of him wanting to leave the hunt, but it’s not that nice either:
DEAN What do we do?
JOHN I'm going to Lincoln. DEAN What? JOHN It doesn't look lilke we have a choice. If I don't go, a lot of people die, our friends die.
SAM Dad, the demon is coming tonight. For Monica and her family. That gun is all we got, you can't just hand it over.
I mean, yes, it is true that the demon is coming for Monica (Well, actually, he’s coming for Rosie, the baby, but I will let that slip pass. Sam is not interested in married ladies), and that with the gun they can kill the demon but it’s not all they’ve got. By this time, Sam has already had his big hero moment when he exorcised a plane in free fall so they could do that, then chase the demon again and then kill it.
But what is jarring is how he hears “a lot of people die, OUR FRIENDS die” and he goes “yeah, whatever, we have a mission to fulfill”.
Which is precisely what later episodes will tell us John used to do, and was the reason why John was not exactly liked by the general hunter population. And at the same time, it’s an eerie reminder of Wendigo, where Sam is willing to let innocents die (his family friends, in this particular case, just as he heard Caleb choke on his own blood) in order to get his way (revenge on the demon that killed Jess. NOT revenge on the demon that killed his mom, since at this point, Sam is still on the “I never knew that woman” train of thought).
Sure, his mind is in the hunt, and that’s commendable because yes, in the long run, killing Azazael would save more innocents (And probably stop the Apocalypse, not that Sam or the writers at that time know it), but it is still strange to see our nominal hero simply not care for his friends’ lives. I mean, at this point WE don’t know about Bobby, so the closest to a parental figure that is not John that Sam had was Pastor Jim and he just DIED.
Worst part is, this could be solved really easy: Just have DEAN be the one who voices the complaint, and have “empathic” Sam mumble that there has to be a way to save everyone (Which, of course, John will mention in a second). It would make Dean look bad, sure, but we’ve been told once and again that Dean never, EVER goes against John plans. Which… not true, ut we will talk about that later. The scene continues, and John declares that he will go to Meg alone, with a fake Colt and while Dean thinks that that won’t work, Sam has a different complaint:
DEAN Yeah but for how long? What happens when she figures it out?
JOHN I just...I just need to buy a few hours, that's all.
SAM You mean for Dean and me. You want us to stay here, and kill this demon by ourselves?
JOHN No Sam. I want to stop losing people we love. I want you to go to school, I want Dean to have a home. I want....I want Mary alive. It's just....I just want this to be over.
And oh, boy. Do this four lines again hold so much weight.
First, once again, Dean seems to be worried for John (logically, he’s their dad), while Sam is making the weirdest line in the universe sort of work because he’s complaining that John is trusting them to kill the demon, something HE wants to do and not four seconds ago was saying they had to do, as if it was John shifting HIS job to Sam. Seriously, I don’t want to think the worst of Sam but when you take out Jared’s acting, the text doesn’t do the younger Winchester’s any favors.
And finally… John’s lines that encompass pretty much Dean’s philosophy in the following seasons. “I want to stop losing people we love” is pretty telling, but what comes next? He actually WANTS Sam to go back to college and not worry about the Supernatural. He actively agrees that Dean doesn’t have a home, and WANTS Dean to have one. It’s as close as love as we’ll see from John to Dean in Season 1, and it hurts. It hurts because we can tell he knows he won’t be there to see it… and now, in hindsight with the finale having aired, we also know Dean didn’t get that. (And to be fair, this is the John who did deserve Heaven. Not the flanderized version we’d get in the future)
Although, ironically, Mary got to be alive again, so… One out of three?
(No, seriously, it’s obvious the writers didn’t even remember this speech when Season 12 hit, much less Season 15)
Ahem.
Dean is sent to get a fake Colt, while Sam and John wait for him. If they talked about anything, we don’t know, but when they exchange guns, Dean voices what we all know is true:
DEAN You know this is a trap don't you. That's why Meg wants you to come alone?
JOHN I can handle her. I got a whole arsenal loaded. Holy water, Mandaic, amulets...
DEAN Dad... JOHN What? DEAN Promise me something. JOHN What's that. DEAN This thing goes south just...get the hell out. Don't get yourself killed all right, you're no good to us dead. JOHN Same goes for you. (There is a long pause) All right listen to me. They made the bullets special for this colt. There's only four of them left. Without them this gun is useless. You make every shot count.
SAM Yes sir.
JOHN Been waiting a long time for this fight. Now it's here I'm not gonna be in it. It's up to you boys now. It's your fight, you finish this. You finish what I started. Understand?
 Again, I wish they remembered all they had to get rid of demons before, you know, killing everyone willy-nilly. I mean, I don’t even think I know what Mandalac IS but hey, John says it works, it works. And once more, Dean gets a line that makes clear he is the empathic, loving brother, when it wouldn’t have hurt Sam to say it. In fact, it would make clear that no matter what, he doesn’t hate John. But nope, Sam only acts like the soldier we’re TOLD Dean is, while Dean makes clear that for him, family is more important than revenge (And boy will that come to bite him in the ass later, not in the series, but in this same episode).
Also, I have to admit. When I started this rewatch, John’s final line was just a good moment for John to start letting go of his anger. Now? After that horrid finale? It hurts so, so much. But it hurts more because I KNOW that there’s no way it was intentional. Obviously, Kirkpe didn’t know the series would last 15 years, and I highly doubt Dabb remembered this scene when writing 15x20. But even so, it ends up being Dean’s epitaph. OUCH.
In any case, the Winchester separate again, and we go into act three. Get ready for the feels.
John Winchester hunting alone is a thing of beauty. Seeing him scope the place, check the water tank and immediately think of a plan? Makes me wish Jeffrey Dean Morgan had stayed longer on the show. Sure, John became an asshole, but in this episode he’s still not that bad, we still have no episodes that make clear he didn’t care for Dean, and wasn’t textually abusive. And I am willing to bet that if JDM had stayed, John would’ve evolved more to be a Bobby-like character. But well, What ifs is not why you came to this meta for.
As John is hunting, the brothers are staking out the house were they know Azazael will attack. And while they talk and decide that they have no way to get the family out (In a nice callback to how none of their excuses ever work) we get to this little gem of an exchange:
SAM I wonder how Dad's doing.
DEAN I'd feel a lot better if we were there backing him up.
SAM I'd feel a lot better if he were here backing us up.
Where once again we see where the brother’s priorities lie, and I wonder why the hell the writers ever thought they were writing Sam as an empathic character.
Because yes, Dean is wishing he could be out there helping his Dad, proving that for him, it has always been about the family. Not the hunting, but the protecting. But Sam doesn’t want to protect John. He wants John protecting Them. And helping them in the revenge hunt, not trying to save others.
Sure, we know the brothers are there to save an innocent mother, but John is also saving a ton of hunters and people who, in the past, were nice and open to the family. And it would’ve been so much easier to make Sam look better if he instead had said “I’d feel a lot better if we hadn’t had to separate” or something like that, that proved he saw BOTH missions were important.
Seriously, I do wonder why the writers made these choices, and I wish someone had asked this at cons.
We go back to John, who, really, Is an amazing hunter even if he is a horrible father. Also, I wonder if he got ordained at a web church, in order to be able to sanctify water. That would be such a John Winchester thing to do, and I do wonder why the boys never did it too. ANYWAY, he hands the gun to Meg, and to her ally that came so that we could have a scene to prove the Colt is fake as the ally shoots Meg.
As John says, Meg was lucky the gun was fake. And once again, I do wonder what the plan was if it WAS the Colt. I mean, Meg was Azazael’s second in command. Why would nameless demon risk killing her? Or did he kinow the gun was fake?
In any case, this makes the moment where we can be 100% sure that Meg’s meat suit 1.0 was dead. I mean, she could’ve survived the fall in Shadow, but a bullet to the chest? No way.
We go back to the brothers, and Sam breaks every single law of a procedural show by giving this great speech about how thankful he is to Dean for everything, and how he needs to say that “in case” something happened.
Dean is definitely not impressed and reminds him that the only one dying today is Azazael.
As we see John temporarily escape from Meg and her muscle boy, we go back to the brothers who see the demon omens start up so they get ready for the final fight.
The brothers manage to save Monica and her baby, despite the very understandable interference from Hubbard, the husband (I mean, you would not react nicely to two strangers intruding in your house and yelling to your wife to not go into the nursery room), however, before Sam can shoot Azazel, he disappears into smoke (A really interesting question here is, WHY did Sam wait to shoot and then wasted a bullet, but I digress).
Going completely against M.O, Azazael makes the CRIB burst into flames, but fortunately Dean has already gotten Rosie out of it so the brothers escape the flaming house. While Monica cries her thanks, Sam notices that Azazael is still inside, and tries to go after him, but Dean stops him because he is not going to lose his brother to the fire. By the way, I am not counting “Dean stopping Sam from going into a burning building” as “Dean forcing Sam to do something” since, uh, he was saving Sam’s life and it’s something anyone in Dean’s place would’ve done.
At the same time, we see John getting captured by Meg and her muscle boy because he didn’t think about getting a third escape route (But honestly? That was pretty much a plot necessity. John was HEAVILY prepared for that fight)
Back in the hotel, Dean is worried that John is not answering his calls, while Sam is furious that Dean didn’t let him kill himself by running into a burning house. They have a nasty fight that mirrors the one they had back in the pilot, but since it IS a fight between the brothers, you know the drill. We’re examining it under Violence.
Once Sam calms down, he tells Dean to try calling John again. Unfortunately, it’s Meg who answers and she tells Dean that they’re never seeing their dad again.
And we get the first “To be continued” for the series (Which to be honest, despite all the little continuity mistakes I mentioned here? Is still pretty epic)
Violence
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Well, we had to run out of episodes where the brothers don’t fight each other at some point, didn’t we?
This fight, over Sam wanting to kill himself in his search for revenge, is a very neat parallel to the fight they had back in the Pilot, over Sam NOT wanting to even involve himself in the family’s search for revenge. Which I know it’s supposed to be ironic and a show of character growth since now Dean is the one saying that revenge is not worth their lives but… it falls a little bit flat because the reason why Sam is so gung-ho in killing Azazael is, once again, a very selfish one and the way in he expresses it makes it quite clear. (Again, I do wonder if the writers stopped to think about the implications of Sam only getting really into hunting when it was about him or his losses?)
But let’s start at the beginning:
SAM If you had just let me go in there, I coulda ended all this.
DEAN Sam, the only thing you would have ended was your life.
SAM You don't know that.
DEAN So what, you're just willing to sacrifice yourself, is that it?
SAM Yeah. Yeah you're damn right I am.
DEAN Well that's not going to happen, not as long as I'm around.
This right here? Is a nice summary of the relationship of the brothers for the whole series. Sam wants to do something stupid, like, say, running into a burning building, Dean is there to stop him before he hurts himself.
Also, let’s make clear the use of first person by Sam. It’s not “We coulda ended this”, as in the family ending the hunt, but “I coulda ended this”. Again, at this point, not something that is a problem, but considering hindsight, we can see how the writers are completely invested in SAM as a sole main character, and write him as such, while Dean is more of the sidekick.
In any case, the argument continues, still not escalating to violence.
SAM What the hell are you talking about Dean, we've been searching for this demon our whole lives. It's the only thing we've ever cared about.
DEAN Sam I wanna waste it. I do. Okay? But it's not worth dying over.
SAM What?
DEAN I mean it. If hunting this demon means getting yourself killed then I hope we never find the damn thing.
Important thing how Sam apparently forgot he left for four (two) years and wanted out of the family business, now that he is angry and into the revenge thing. It’s not “You’ve been searching for this demon your whole life”, which would’ve been correct AND a logical counterargument against Dean. Before this episode, Sam was supposedly the brother who understood that revenge was a way of living, while Dean is the one who was Daddy’s little soldier. But here, when it actually would matter to the narrative, it is as if Sam’s wishes for a normal life are completely forgotten and it’s Dean the one who understands that there’s more to living than revenge (Which, btw, is consistent through the season despite everyone claiming that Dean needs Sam to keep hunting. All season, Dean has been giving Sam outs, telling him it’s ok to quit)
And of course, Dean here proves that Sam is more important to him than revenge for his mother, as he is willing to never get to kill the demon as long as his family, his brother in particular, survives.
Poor Dean.
SAM That thing killed Jess. That thing killed Mom.
DEAN You said yourself once, that no matter what we do, they're gone, and they're never coming back.
SAM Don't you say that, not you! Not after all this don't you say that.
DEAN Sam look. The three of us...that's all we have...and it's all I have. Sometimes I feel like I'm barely holding it together man...and without you or Dad....
Unfortunately, script doesn’t quiet convey the scene as there’s a LONG pause between “That thing killed Jess” and “That thing killed Mom”. Enough so that we can believe that Sam is using that second phrase not because he cares (in the Pilot he made clear he didn’t), but to make Dean get on board with the whole “I can kill myself if it means getting revenge” plan. In other words, once again, Sam is weaponizing Mary against Dean, and that is a really nasty habit the younger Winchester never quite shakes out of. Instead, Dean shows how he LISTENED to Sam back in the Pilot and repeats Sam’s words to him on the bridge.
Which is when Sam loses it and pushes Dean against a wall, Dean not defending himself at all, and yells that Dean has no right to say what Sam told Dean the very first hunt they had together after years of separation.
And of course, once Dean mentions their father, Sam starts calming down. NOT when Dean says that he’s barely holding it together, or that he only has them.   Just when he mentions their father who is, in Sam’s mind, the one who can help him get revenge.
The fight ends, but Sam never once apologizes for what he said to Dean, nor for the fight. Which, by the way, contradicts his claim that Dean “always has his back”.
Emotional Violence
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Whenever we have John on an episode, we’re going to have to talk about emotional violence and I kind of hate that because on one hand, I get how John could’ve been a very tragic figure that loved his sons but still wanted to avenge his wife, and not being the abusive bastard we know and don’t love that much.
When Sam and Dean explain about Sam’s visions, and how they started as nightmares but have grown in intensity, his reaction is quite subdued, but clear. He is not happy, but the problem isn’t the visions –for a man obsessed with the supernatural, his outward reaction to his younger son being a psychic is quite calm- but that they didn’t inform him of what was going on:
JOHN All right. When were you going to tell me about this?
DEAN We didn't know what it meant.
JOHN All right, something like this starts happening to your brother, you pick up the phone and you call me.
DEAN dumps the coffee jug and cup back on the counter and strides toward JOHN.
DEAN Call you? Are you kidding me? Dad I called you from Lawrence all right? Sam called you when I was dying. I mean, getting you on the phone? I got a better chance of winning the lottery.
JOHN You're right. Although I'm not too crazy about this new tone of yours, you're right. I'm sorry.
And let’s be clear, John’s anger is not directed at Sam, it’s directed at Dean. “Something like this starts happening to your brother” is not “Something like this starts happening to either of you”. Which is also a show of how good an actor JOHN is in universe because WE know that he knew. Missouri TOLD him point blank that Sam was powerful and that he could have known that John was around during the Home episode. But here, he acts as if this was news to him when he could ALSO have told them what to expect if that happened. (Mind you, I am assuming that Sera Gamble knew or remembered about Home’s script when writing this and didn’t just forget or was unaware that John was supposed to know)
Now, all season, Sam has been complaining and yelling about how John doesn’t answer their calls, doesn’t seem to care what’s going on with them. So it’d be logical and in character for Sam to say something here. But instead is DEAN, Dad’s little soldier, the one we’ve SEEN obeying John without question finally have enough and talk back to his father with some truths. And it’s VERY interesting that his first complain is not that John didn’t care that Dean almost died, but that he didn’t reply when Dean called from Lawrence. One could almost infer that Dean expected John not to care if Dean died, but was honestly hurt that he didn’t care about a case that could’ve involved MARY.
John, surprisingly, sort of agrees. He does say “I’m sorry”, which makes him the Winchester who is quicker to say those words… but he still manages to make a threat against Dean “I am not too crazy about this NEW tone of yours”.
Making it clear that before? Dean never talked back. And John doesn’t like it when his soldiers talk back.
It makes it hard to believe John ever thought of Dean as his son and makes it very clear why Dean never understood Sam’s confidence that Dean was the favored one.
Speeches and Apologies
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I considered not including this particular speech, but then I remembered that Supernatural is ALSO famous for their big emotional speeches, and this is Sam’s first, and also, Dean’s first time listening to someone he cares about give him the “I am saying goodbye because I am going kamikaze” speech and after all the drama in season 15, I guess it’s necessary to do some dissection.
It is important that despite all the things that Sam has done to Dean, the words “I’m sorry” are never uttered here.
SAM Dean...ah...I wanna thank you. DEAN For what? SAM For everything. You've always had my back you know? Even when I couldn't count on anyone I could always count on you. And ah...I don't know I just wanted to let you know, Just in case DEAN Whoa whoa whoa, are you kidding me? SAM What? DEAN Don't say just in case something happens to you. I don't wanna hear that freaking speech man. Nobody's dying tonight. Not us, not that family, nobody. Except that demon. That evil son of a bitch ain't getting any older than tonight, you understand me?
 This is not a bad “freaking speech”. I understand why Dean didn’t want to hear it, because it is like jinxing the mission (And, let’s be honest, it did), but it’s not a bad speech.
Except that, reading it again, it lacks one important part. Sure, Sam thanks Dean for always being there (Forgetting that, at least three times this season alone, he has accused Dean of not having his back and being unreliable. Which will ALSO be a constant theme in the series’s long run), but he never mentions the times HE did things that would be hard to back up. Which, again, I am not counting as a bad thing against him in this precise moment in time, since he is young, in his roaring roadtrip of revenge, and we’ve only know the brothers for a year, but it is the beginning of a series’ long crutch to make us forgive all of Sam’s sins without him actually doing the work to be forgiven.
On the other hand, it all goes to waste a bit later when Sam starts hitting Dean for the horrible sin of not letting him run into a burning building and kill himself so… it’s not really a “thank you for having my back” speech but a “You better remember, you never fight me and my choices are the best” speech in hindsight. Which… not good on Sam, no.
Double narrative standards
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This episode is kind of balanced, except for that little moment where we’re supposed to think Dean is wrong for telling Sam that revenge is not worth their lives. So there’s not much to write in this particular segment.
Final Tally
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Ok, back in the saddle. And after all that, I decided not to tally Sam’s little slip about not caring if their loved ones die as long as he gets to kill Azazael. Let me know if you disagree.
The count is still not good on Sam’s side, but as always, you are free to disagree with me, and dm me if you think I missed a tally or I should change one. If your argument is solid and canon based, I will listen to it and may change the numbers.
Numbers (or the TL;DR summary)
(Episode/Total so far)
Times Dean has lied to Sam or to a loved one: 0 / 0
Times Sam has lied to Dean or to a loved one: 0 / 3
Times Dean has been caught in a lie: 0 / 0
Times Sam has been caught in a lie: 0 / 1
Times Dean has hit Sam in anger: 0 / 1
Times Sam has hit Dean in anger: 1 / 4
Times Dean's lies or secrets have caused someone's death: 0 / 0
Times Sam's lies or secrets have caused someone's death: 0 / 1
Times Dean has abandoned (Or wanted to abandon) a hunt in the middle for his own needs: 0 / 0
Times Sam has abandoned (Or wanted to abandon) a hunt in the middle for his own needs: 0 / 7
Times Dean forced Sam to do something: 0 / 0
Times Sam forced Dean to do something: 0 / 7
Secrets kept by Dean: 0 / 1
Secrets kept by Sam: 0 / 2
Times Dean has blamed Sam for something: 0 / 0
Times Sam has blamed Dean for something: 1 / 4
Times Dean has apologized with words to Sam: 0 / 3
Times Sam has apologized with words to Dean: 0 / 2
Times Dean has respected Sam's boundaries and/or rules: 0 / 7
Times Sam has respected Dean's boundaries and/or rules: 0 / 0
Times Dean hasn't respected Sam's boundaries and/or rules: 0 / 0
Times Sam hasn't respected Dean's boundaries and / or rules: 0 / 13
Times Dean has made fun of something Sam does or has: 0 / 6
Times Sam has made fun of something Dean does or has: 0 / 31
Times we focus on Dean's needs: 0 / 1
Times we focus on Sam's needs: 1 / 6
Arc episodes dedicated to Sam: 1 / 7
Filler episodes dedicated to Sam: 0 / 6
Arc episodes dedicated to Dean: 0 / 0
Filler episodes dedicated to Dean: 0 / 4
Arc episodes dedicated to both brothers (or to none): 0 / 2
Filler episodes dedicated to both brothers (or to none): 0 / 2
Dean's Dropped Plotlines: 0 / 1
Sam's Dropped Plotlines: 0 / 2
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losingmymindtonight · 5 years
Text
“Daddy?”
Tony looked up in surprise. It wasn’t often that Morgan wandered into his office when her favorite cartoon was on. It had weird animation, revolved around something like a family of ducks. He watched it with her, sometimes, but it never really made much sense.
“Hey, honey.” He beckoned her closer, and she eagerly made her way up to his chair. It was a display of comfort that he never would’ve showed with Howard, and he always cherished those moments. Little specs of validation. “What’s up?”
“Is Peter coming over today?”
He blinked. Morgan asking for Peter wasn’t out of the ordinary, per say, but it was strange that she was asking if he was coming on a school day. She usually understood that the kid had to stay in the city during the week, despite how much she didn’t like it.
“No.” He watched her expression carefully. “Peter’s at school.”
Her face fell. “Oh.”
“Why, darling?” He brushed his palm over the crown of her head. “Is everything alright?”
“I wanted to ask him a question.”
“Well,” he smiled softly, “I’m quite good at answering those too, y’know. Why don’t you run it past me, and if we can’t solve it on our own, then we’ll give Peter a call, m’kay?”
Morgan bit her lip. “We wrote our names at playgroup.”
He nodded. Pepper had told him about that, sent him a photo of Morgan, purple marker in hand and face twisted up in concentration, carefully tracing the outline of Morgan Stark beside a bunch of other kids.
“I heard. Mom said you did a great job.”
The praise didn’t light up in her eyes like it usually did. Instead, she kept gnawing on her bottom lip, obviously deep in thought. “I finished early so I got to do more names. I did yours, and Mommy’s, and Peter’s.” She stared up at him, full of that childlike intuition that constantly took his breath away. “Is Peter not my brother?”
Well, okay. That wasn’t what he’d been expecting.
“What’re you talking about? Of course he is.”
Logically, he understood that this question had been inevitable. Morgan couldn’t dwell within the cabin’s walls forever. Eventually, the world was bound to start shoving concepts of DNA matches and blood is thicker than water into her head. To most people, brothers were defined by genetics. Your mother birthed you, and your mother birthed your brother, and therefore you were siblings.
There was, as usual, little thought given to the outliers.
So, yes, he’d known. He’d known that this was coming. He and Pepper had even prepared for it, had talked about it before. And yet hearing it out loud was jarring. It had taken him so long, through wars and loss and reunions on battlefields, to finally understand that Peter had always been his kid. Sure, he didn’t donate any genes to his DNA, but that didn’t matter. In fact, nothing had ever mattered less.
“Mommy said that too,” Morgan muttered, face scrunched up in frustrated contemplation, “but Miss Chrissy helped me write his name and when I told her that his other name was Parker and not Stark she looked at me funny and then Katie’s mommy said that that meant he wasn’t my real brother.”
Cool. Awesome. Time to kill Katie’s mom. The next PTA meeting was gonna be awkward as hell.
He took a deep breath. These were… these were the hard moments of parenting. Trying to explain the complicated things without screwing it all up. But he’d done it before. He’d explained both Peter’s absence and sudden reappearance. He’d explained the loss of his arm and the ugly scarring on his face. He’d explained tragedy, and joy, and everything in between.
He could explain this bit, too. Or, at least, he probably could.
“Well, first of all, Katie’s mom is wrong.”
Morgan frowned. “You’re not supposed to say that about adults. Miss Chrissy said so.”
“Well, Miss Chrissy’s wrong, too. Adults aren’t always right.”
“Even you?”
He snorted. God, if only Peter was here. He’d be getting a real kick out of this. “Yeah, even me.”
“So Peter is my brother?”
“Of course he is. It’s just… Peter’s your brother in a special way.”
The concept seemed to glitter through Morgan’s face. She didn’t look confused or frustrated or sad anymore. She looked intrigued.
“How?”
Oh. He… hadn’t exactly processed that having this conversation also meant having the how babies are made conversation. How did he end up with all the hard parenting moments? Where the hell was Pepper when he really needed her?
“Well, see, your mom and I made you together,” he said slowly, really hoping that he could dodge the specifics of how they made her. “You’re half her, and half me. Do you want to learn a really big word?”
“Yeah!”
“Since your mom and I both made you, that means that you’re our biological child.”
“Is Peter not your bio,” Morgan’s face screwed up as she chewed through the new word, “biological child?”
“No, squirt, he’s not.” Although there are moments that I wonder, believe me. “Remember how I told you that May is basically Peter’s mom?”
“Mhm.”
“Well, he’s not her biological child, either.” He paused. This next bit was the really hard part. He’d set it up, but now he actually had to explain. “A lot of times, people become parents the way that your mom and I did when we had you. They get together and they make a biological kid. But sometimes, people become parents because they adopt kids.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means that they pick them,” he said, because that was genuinely the simplest way he could think to put it. “They choose to become their parents.”
“Why?”
“Well, some kids don’t have any parents of their own, because they left or passed away, so that means that other people, like me and your mom and May, get to take care of those kids.”
Morgan nodded, thoughtful. “So you became Peter’s parent ‘cause his first mommy and daddy died?”
“Sort of.” He smiled gently. “It can get really, really complicated, but none of it actually matters, because this is all you need to know.” He bopped her on the nose. “Peter is 100%, without a doubt, certifiably your brother. It doesn’t matter if you’re not both my biological kids, you’re still my kids. Period, done, end of story. Oh,” he added, smirking, “and Katie’s mom is an idiot.”
Morgan glared. “Mommy said that it isn’t nice to call people that word.”
He resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Damn Pepper and her genuinely optimistic life lessons.
“And it isn’t very nice of Katie’s mom to tell people who is and isn’t their brother either, is it?” He countered.
Morgan looked nonplussed at that. Eventually, she shrugged in defeat. “I don’t think Katie’s mom meant to make me sad.”
Jesus. These kids. They were going to be the death of him.
“I’m sure she didn’t.” Because if she did, I’m really gonna kill her. “Do you understand now, squirt?”
“Yeah!” She responded, previous trepidation forgotten. “Peter’s my brother ‘cause you decided that he is. ‘Cause you chose Peter.” She grinned. “That’s so cool! Like picking out a puppy from the shelter!”
Oh, boy. He was definitely telling the kid about that analogy later. He would never live it down.
“Exactly,” he said, biting back a laugh. “And if you’d like, you can tell Katie’s mom that next time you see her. That way, she doesn't accidentally make anybody else sad.”
Morgan’s face brightened at the thought. It was obvious that she hadn’t picked up on the sarcasm in Tony’s voice. Which, of course, had been the point.
“That’s a good idea, Daddy!”
He winked. “I’m full of those, you know.”
And, sure, Pepper was probably going to kick his ass after Morgan schooled Katie’s mom in How Not To Be An Asshole next playgroup session, but it would be totally worth it.
He’d have to have F.R.I.D.A.Y. hack into the playgroup’s security cameras. That was one event that he just couldn’t miss.
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