#duke it out would be extremely funny

[welcometogrouchland]

Disgustingly messy and crusty sketch dump but I couldn't get my own terrible theory out of my head and ended up making a bunch of sketches about it. Also at the end a bonus dickbats and Damian doodle bc I was reading an issue of their Batman and Robin run (IDs in Alt)

[farahblack]

i do not want a stranger things x dghda crossover bc ive seen some of the shit the st fandom puts out and its frankly garbage (sorry), but i WOULD like to see dirk and murray try to attack each other. gay on gay violence. mlm hostility. two karate amateurs trying to kick each other while joyce and todd simultaneously try to stop them and exchange tired looks over their heads

[bruciemilf]

DC can shoot blockbuster movies, but only WFA is genius enough to introduce PTA mom! Bruce who's extremely competitive.

I need Battinson, youngest parent there by far, to roll in, smudged make up, bruises, a busted red lip.

No one thinks to link those marks to Batman. They're OBVIOUSLY evidence of a long night of fooling around in the club instead of caring for his young ward

Margie thinks that's funny, seeing as this guy obviously doesn't get out much. She tried putting him through the trial of Intimidating Mom Show Off and he just said, " I'm going to cry in the bathroom. Excuse me."

I'm sorry, but Bruce being openly affectionate with Dick, Jason, Damian, Cass, and Tim, -- kisses on the cheek, hugs that last until the teacher breaks them off, - would have the fathers cringing.

" Haha, I don't do that with my kids. I'm actually here because my wife bitched at me."

Bruce, straight up, " Don't you like your children?"

" Excuse me?!"

" Not yet. Why do you hate your kids?"

" I love my kids, I just can't wait to get away from them. Come on, you know how it's like."

" No. I love my babies. Why do you hate your babies? Why do you hate your wife. I'll pay for your divorce if you want."

Bruce gets reported VERY often to the principal and board for being inappropriate, and you know what? They refuse to do anything. It was about time someone raised hell around here.

Duke, age 8, watching a grown man throw a tantrum because Bruce called Dick 'baby' : Bruce. I can poke him with my sword

Bruce: Not yet, Duke

Jason tries exploding every kid he doesn't like with his mind. "Trust me, you won't like the alternative. Now be gone! My papi brought me lunch." It's a lunchbox full of books.

Bruce gets along the best with the mothers. They treat him like the class hamster

[timmydraker]

Tim’s parents demand a meeting with Bruce and their son himself to discuss the future of their company and Tim’s place in it. Everyone knows they probably want to get in on Bruce’s wealth and business so they might be able to go from millionaires to billionaires like Bruce.

To everyone’s surprise, Tim accepts and says he’ll do it as long as Bruce will stay with him the entire time.

Obviously Dick refuses not to and Damian insist as the ‘true heir’, which makes Jason want to as well just cause he’s not being left out. Duke promises to stay out of it and keep the girls busy so Tim doesn’t feel cornered or smothered in worry.

So, Bruce and his three sons sit on the meeting with Bruce doing most do the talking and Tim sitting on a chair with his brothers all keeping eyes on him.

Jack and Janet try to give pleasantries to their son but he just stared at them, a blank look that even Bruce can’t decipher if only because he’s never seen it before.

Jack does most of the talking, explaining that Tim still has a set aside amount of many and place in the company but that it’s only there because he’s kept the family name. They explain that they would be happy for Tim to take the Wayne name as long as their son gives up his legal place in the company and hands over his personal funds they gifted him willingly.

They subtly explain that they want him to continue to work with the as he works with WE extremely well, and that they could possibly become partners.

Tim would still be the co-CEO of WE as well as COF for Drake Industries but he must… ‘donate’ money to them regularly as a show of good partner ship.

Bruce is furious that they just want money and haven’t acknowledged their son or the fact that he just turned eighteen, but he remains calm and after almost twenty minutes of talking Dick cuts them all off.

“Perhaps-we could ask Tim himself what he thinks of this offer.”

The growing tension both settles and raises as everyone turns to Tim who is sitting like a statue.

He looks like he could be dissociating but there’s a distinct presence in his eyes like he doesn’t want to miss a single word or second.

Jack sits back and gives Tim a stern look, “Well, son? What do you say?”

Tim speaks in the same voice Bruce has heard him talk to clients he doesn’t like, “I’ll accept, I’ll even give my earnings from the company.” Just as Jack and Janet begin to look smug and his family members look shocked he adds, “on one condition.”

Janet looks at him like he’s the most vile creature ever and covers it with a forced smile as Alfred pours more tea for her as a means to appease the clearly nasty woman.

Everyone waits for Tim to state his condition but none of them are ready for when he looks his parents each in the eye and says in the calmest, most level voice the most shocking sentence nace they have ever heard from both Tim and Red Robin:

“I want you to kill yourselves.”

.

..

…

No one speaks.

Jason and Dick look genuinely afraid, Damian looks taken aback though not nearly as shocked as Bruce is with his jaw hanging low.

Alfred for the first time in his life serving the Waynes spills tea and looks at Tim in a way that shows he is genuinely aghast.

Janet and Jack are frozen looking at their son like he’s a different person, which is funny as that implies they knew he was before.

Tim doesn’t smile or gloat, he does nothing to suggest his words were one big joke or last ‘fuck you’ to them.

He sits still and patient, waiting for an answer.

Janet opens her mouth several times to speak but never gets any words out though Jack manages to get over his shock and fury crosses his face. He opens his mouth, most likely to yell or berate his son but Tim beats him to it.

“It’s your choice. I’ve said all I want, so kill yourself or leave.”

Tim picks up his own tea and watches as Jack and Janet storm out of Wayne Manner.

Silence prevails for a while with none of the family talking until Damian breaks the silence, “Holy shit.”

[doorp]

I loooove how it appears that lenore is the silly one/lenore pretends to be the silly one in the relationship when in reality Annabel is always looking like this

Do not put this woman in situations bc she is not serious enough to have a moral compass

And don’t get me wrong Lenore has silly for days, climbing out windows, into trees, jumping out of trees, talking to birds “I guess I just wanted to see what you would do” “aha I took your blot” she just thinks Annabel’s silly is weird as fuck. And granted, Annabel is a bit off the rails, her silly is very weird as fuck. But ig a big part of why its funny to me is bc of this exchange between Lenore and Duke

Lenore never thinks of Annabel as that prim proper and posh person, she thinks of Annabel as a genius with convoluted as fuck machinations that dont make much sense to her, but she’ll follow along anyway bc that’s *her person* and she has something inside her that is wanting to trust her. so it catches her off guard when people talk about her like that. She’s also probably remembering the widows watch, smug bc of what she pulled on Annabel, and hearing someone being described as “prim proper and posh” right after they were behaving like this is probably gonna make you choke on your sandwich a bit

Also Annabel being lenores person and Lenores urge to trust her is so heartbreaking after what she did to Duke. like Lenore is so extremely down bad for this woman, being mad at her and hating her for what she did is gonna drive her off the rails. and Annabel, Annabel won’t have any idea what to do with herself. lenore has the misfits but Annabel hates almost everybody in her group. annabel is very much an introvert shes canonically drained by other people around her except for lenore, lenore is her person as much as she’s lenores person. divorce arc is going to be juicy (:

obligatory thank you for making it to the end <3

[sketalya]

✨The Narrow Gauge & Mr. Percival full ref's ✨

And of course some of my headcanons about them ;3🌹

(This is a little longer than before but I hope you like it :D)

1) Skarloey | 39 y.o | 165 cm

• One of the oldest on the railway, he was like a big brother to all the young narrow gauges.

• Extremely close to Rheneas, always talking about Rheneas everytime he wasn't around.

• Of course besides always talking about Rheneas, he likes to tell a lot of things and sometimes Rusty joins him for that. He's been on the Skarloey railway longer than anyone so he knows all the secrets and stories.

• Likes inviting his friends to drink tea together, sometimes inviting Mr. Percival for that even though he doesn't come often because of his busy schedule. Skarloey also likes to invite Edward just to chat casually and Edward always likes it when he comes to the Skarloey Railway.

• Afraid of thunder and storms but actually he is afraid of loud noises that startle him. He always hide in his room when that happened. He is also afraid of heights.

• People always thought he was wise but Skarloey himself always thought that Rheneas was wiser than him. Whenever he had a problem he would always ask Rheneas for advice.

• Everytimes the young narrow gauges were causing trouble, Skarloey was too tired to deal with it so he mostly told Rheneas about it and Rheneas is the one who will always handle that.

• He also considered Nancy as his best friend and he always allowed her to help him polish his engines.

2) Rheneas | 38 y.o | 165 cm

• Another big brother figure for the young narrow gauge. Always wants the best for the Skarloey Railway so sometimes he can be a little strict about it.

• And because of that, Sir Handel and Peter Sam liked to joke about him acting like a mother. Sometimes he was deliberately called mom by them whenever Rheneas advised them and it always annoyed him.

• Doesn't like it when his name is misspelled. Especially when Duncan and Sir Handel deliberately misspelled his name as "Rhene-ASS". But sometimes he's called "Remy" by Skarloey and he's okay with that.

• Has a pretty tough past and Skarloey is the person he considers his first friend. Doesn't like to talk about it except with Skarloey.

• Swear police number one. Always trying to cover Luke's ears whenever Duncan starts swearing.

• He can become overworked and even get sick because of it. He will really appreciate nap time.

• He never knew he could see ghosts and he always thought it was just a hunch, Rusty was the one who noticed it. Once accidentally saw Rusty talking to Boulder (FYI Boulder in my AU is a giant rock ghost where he will look like an ordinary large rock to the human eye but Rheneas can see its true form just like Rusty)

3) Sir Handel | 27 y.o | 163 cm

• Is the type of person who is unpredictable. Always think that he is the coolest among the others and will say it out loud.

• Wears shoes with wheels that can be lowered whenever he wants to use them. Rheneas and Skarloey always tried to warn him that it was dangerous to wear rollerskates on the railway but he never listened and he always to show it off.

• Always complaining if there is something doesn't go as he expected, it can make him act a bit rude.

• Sometimes makes trouble for his friends because of that, and he will feel sorry for that. (Still cause problems after that)

• Can be very competitive and vindictive.

• He considers Peter Sam as his brother. Peter Sam and Duke sometimes calls him "Falcon".

• When Luke officially joined them, Sir Handel was the one who was most happy about it. (That's because he's no longer the shortest one among them)

• Secretly loves romantic novels and always hopes that he is the main character. He also has a diary book that he keeps very secret.

• The reason why Mr. Percival always prefers to use his bicycle or ask Thomas to take him whenever he needs to go somewhere. (This is quite funny actually, maybe I'll tell you about this another time)

4) Peter Sam | 27 y.o | 170 cm

• The definition of looking like a cinnamon roll that will actually kill you. Always try to act good in front of Skarloey, Rheneas, and Luke but he can be such a troublemaker when he's with Sir Handel and Duncan. (Still a cinnamon roll)

• Whenever he was bothered by Sir Handel, he would always call him "shortie" to shut his mouth. (It works)

• Sometimes called "Stuart" by Sir Handel and Duke.

• Has a scar on his neck because of the trucks incident.

• Always acts like he doesn't like fairy tales or something but actually he likes them and always listens whenever Skarloey and Rusty start telling stories.

• One of the people who has met Proteus besides Rusty. But he forgot about it because Rusty erased his memory about it through his dreams.

• He really likes to eat and he always brings a large bag of food to work. He cooks it himself and doesn't mind sharing it with others. Sometimes brings snacks for Luke.

• Always confused about making decisions for himself so he's the one who always asked Skarloey, Rheneas, and Duke for advice very often.

5) Rusty | 25 y.o (Fake age) | 169 cm

• One of the most reliable on the railway, he can always fix anything so his friends always ask him for help with it and he doesn't mind helping.

• Just like Skarloey, he always likes to tell lots of things and his favorites are horror stories. He likes to scare Duncan and Peter Sam with it.

• He really likes relaxing classical music and sometimes he will borrow Duncan's headphones to listen to some music.

• He wasn't originally human, he was a ghost before and then being given a second chance to become mortal by Lady and Proteus. Narrow Gauge didn't know about this. And of course he can see ghosts.

• Has a special ability given by Lady and Proteus and that is dream control. He can make dreams and make it seem real when people are asleep, actually given this ability to help Lady and Proteus but sometimes he likes to use it for fun.

• Likes to experiment with it by giving dreams to his friends, although sometimes he accidentally gives them nightmares. The first person to know about his abilities was Skarloey but without them knowing, Sir Handel and Peter Sam overheard about it and of course because of that all the narrow gauges knew about his abilities even Mr. Percival. But they all thought it was cool and promised to keep it between themselves.

• At first he was afraid of Boulder's existence but then he got along quite well with it after that incident.

6) Duncan | 25 y.o | 172 cm

• The tallest among the narrow gauge.

• Worse than Sir Handel, he can be really stubborn and rude. Even Skarloey and Rheneas had quite a hard time dealing with his attitude. But somehow Rusty and Mr. Percival are patient enough to deal with it.

• Always acting tough but actually he can be soft without realizing it.

• Afraid of heights and of course ghosts. He really doesn't like it when Rusty deliberately tells him horror stories. He could have nightmares because of that.

• Has many piercings on his face and ears which are considered cool by Sir Handel and Luke.

• Really loves rock and heavy metal songs, always listening to them through the headphones he always carries. But Mr. Percival wouldn't let him use it while he was working because it will make it difficult for him to stay focus and it could cause problems.

• Very close with the twins Patrick and Pansy. Every time Mr. Percival took them both, he would play with them.

• Very adventurous, he will force Rusty to come with him whenever he finds somewhere interesting to explore.

• He liked to take Sir Handel and Peter Sam to race on the rail track with their engines.

• Also another reason why Mr. Percival always prefers to use his bicycle or ask Thomas to take him whenever he needs to go somewhere. (This relates to how unfocused Duncan can be if he has his headphones on while doing something)

7) Duke | 54 y.o | 167 cm

• He was the mentor of Sir Handel and Peter Sam. Highly respected by both of them and has been considered like a father figure to them.

• Even though he was very old, he refused to retire and decided to continue working on the railway.

• Called "Granpuff" by Sir Handel and Peter Sam. In fact he was still called that by other narrow gauges after moving to the Skarloey Railway.

• Always knows how to deal with the mischievous behavior of his two students. He never falls for any of their pranks and may even be the one who always beats them.

• The Duke actually has connections with the Lady and Proteus. When he was declared missing, he was not asleep for a long time but was actually helping Proteus with something and that because of Lady's request. (There's lore I made for this and it's related to my AU so maybe I'll tell you more about it another time)

• He was the one who gave the diary book to Sir Handel and taught Peter Sam how to cook.

• In his spare time, he really likes to ride around the railway and enjoy the beautiful views. It was really calming for him.

• Never take his glasses away from him. His view completely changed to 144p without it.

8) Luke | 22 y.o | 157 cm

• The youngest and also the shortest among the narrow gauges.

• Literally a cinnamon roll. She's so innocent, a little timid, and too kind. He was always treated like a little brother by the others which was quite cute.

• Having a phobia of the ocean, he actually tried to face his fear but was still unsuccessful due to his trauma.

• Whenever he had free time, he would go to the Steamworks to meet Victor, and because of that he became close friends with Kevin as well. Luke also still often meets Thomas and his best friend Millie.

• Has a deer as a pet and will sometimes take it with him to work.

• It's still quite difficult for him to trust people he just met, but it's different with the narrow gauge, he really trusts them with all his heart.

• Luke was very happy when invited to drink tea by Skarloey, take care of his deer with Rheneas, try roller skating with Sir Handel, eat snacks made by Peter Sam, going on an adventure in a dream made by Rusty when he was asleep, doing Rock n Roll with Duncan, listening to many stories from Duke, and even helping Mr. Percival is out of work.

9) Mr. Percival | 34 y.o | 185 cm

(Ok, this one is actually quite difficult for me because I didn't get much information about him either from ttte eps, wikifandom, and tumblr. So all of this is purely my imagination and how I view him. I hope it doesn't sound so ridiculous :D)

• If Duncan is the tallest among the narrow gauge then this man is much taller than Duncan. And that's why he likes to imagine the narrow gauge as 7 dwarfs. (But of course not to Duke because he respects Duke)

• Not like Sir Topham Hatt. Because his age is not much different from narrow gauge and even younger than Duke, Skarloey, and Rheneas. Mr Percival is also seen as a friend by them outside of work. And he really appreciated that.

• When he heard that Rusty could control dreams, he didn't believe it at first and he even challenged Rusty to give him nightmares. And after Rusty actually does it, he regrets his own request and then believes it. (He even asked Rusty not to tell about his dream to the others)

• Just like Duke, never take his glasses away from him. He would literally go blind without it.

• At first he seemed like a strict person but after being with narrow gauge for quite a while, he was actually quite a chill person. He even casually asked Sir Handel and Peter Sam to be in charge while he is away. (Even though he actually knew they would mess up)

• He doesn't have a hobby that he really likes so when he's not busy and bored, he likes to hang out and have fun with the narrow gauge. He thought that they were very random but that was part of the fun.

• Swear police number 2 after Rheneas, he will glare at Duncan when he starts swearing. He would even keep an eye on him when Duncan played with the twins.

• He always keeps his words professional and polite. But he won't hesitate to be sarcastic when he's annoyed or talking to someone he doesn't like.

• Personally, he doesn't really like driving by car and would prefer to use a bicycle. (And that was made worse after the incident that happened when he asked Sir Handel and Duncan to drive his car. Truly the worst decision he ever made)

• This man has a large collection of bicycles at home and even his children are like that because they follow their father. His wife Polly was doesn't surprised by it and couldn't do anything about it.

• He really doesn't like being seen as that stereotypical nerd just because people assume that he looks like that. Once Sir Handel and Duncan said that he looked like an "emo nerd" just because he wore glasses and always wore black. That really triggered him at that time.

• Has a pet dog which he named Perri, but she (the dog) hates him and only likes Mrs. Polly and the kids.

[shakespeareallanpoe]

Damian is NOT a morning person

What I don't understand is that I see so much content and read so many fics that have Damian waking up at like 5AM. Just because he's routine and skilled doesn't automatically mean he's an early bird- night owls are extremely productive too. Plus, the boy literally patrols at NIGHT. He takes shifts with his Gotham family throughout the night so Gotham is protected during it's most dangerous hours. And I'm not an expert on assassination but I find it hard to believe that they would strike in broad daylight unless it's a special hit, and even then would they do it in the early morning? Our favorite demon spawn probably learned how to kill using the night to his advantage and he was likely used to being up extremely late for that reason.

And I know in Son of Batman Alfred made a comment to Bats that Damian had been in the yard training since 5, but remember that he had traveled halfway across the world the night before from Nada Parbat to Gotham, so he was very likely just jetlagged.

Jon even makes fun of Damian's sleep schedule on multiple occasions because being a farm kid, Jon's used to waking up with the sun and he finds it funny that Damian hates waking up that early. Here's a panel from one of their comics (though I don't remember which one):

All I'm saying is that yeah, Damian being all stoic and regime and waking up at 5 is cool but inaccurate, but we are all missing the comedy that is the normally put together Damian being grouchy AF by nothing more than the existence of the sun in the morning. The boy hates the sun. Catch him anytime before 8 and he'll be on the verge of pulling a katana on it. Do NOT drag him out of bed in the morning unless you want to see an unfiltered side of him that's somehow even worse than what you usually get.

Anywho, I don't know how as a fanbase we all collectively looked at Damian what-is-curfew Wayne and decided that he's totally fine with being up before dawn. I'm sure somewhere in the DC universe he's seething because Duke accidentally dropped something in the manor and the crash woke him up at the ungodly hour that is 7 in the morning.

[wandixx]

Ghost of fries and Hero of cookies part 3

All work words count: 14 643

Words in this part: 3 056

Summary of whole work: Duke wasn't expecting to wake up from his quick rooftop nap to some meta kid with fries. He also wasn't expecting kid to stay

Or

Danny asked Dani to stay safe while she was in Gotham. Where would she be safer than under the wing of local hero? And he looked like he needed bad day combo anyway

This part summary: Joker goons are in for an orange surprise and Duke does not like it in the slightest

Beta read by @audhumla-sailor though English is second language for both of us, so proceed with this in mind. I also know all of the charaters through fics alone, so probably ooc. Stay catious if it's something you don't like

First part, Previous part

trigger warnings: gun violence, panic attacks, dissociation, mentions of Joker gas and what it doeas to people (tell me if i missed something, I'll add it)

Duke was having quite a good day. His schoolwork finally got lighter and up until now nothing notable happen on his patrol. Obviously, couldn’t have Gotham without at least one mugging and bank and corner shop robbery. About the last thing, if it was chain store he would conveniently arrive too late to stop it and just follow up to make sure cashier didn’t get fired. He used to be intimately close with hardships of getting necessary supplies like food or gas masks while corporate assholes were trying to suck people dry. But it was family business so he actually had to step in. He did mention secure way of getting resources to would be robbers though. All in all, not so bad, pretty good day. As for now, he was swinging on grapple to meet with Dani, armed with healthy snack Alfred demanded he took for her when he got texted on his Signal-work-phoneTM. It meant important business 90% of the time, so he stopped to check it out. Other 10% were memes from Dani that usually were worth it anyway.

Got it in one, Hoopoe texted. He opened chat expecting funny video or something instead to be greeted by:

Dani: Hey Signal

Dani: Peple aint spossedf t get out f Arkham

Dani: Amirite?

His stomach dropped. He wished it was hypothetical question but he knew better than to believe such fantasies. Things didn’t go so well in Gotham, especially not with Hoopoe.

You: Yeah, your right. What’s up?

You: You’re*

Dani: Nerd

Dani: Whatre you’re thots on clowns

Dani: ?

His stomach officially landed at his feet and decided it wasn’t enough dropping and ended up on a street below. Even if Joker was still locked up, his goons being active were bad news.

You: Where are you?

You: Hoopoe, where are you?

Dani: Clm dow I ned to chek

Dani: I have ni ieda

Dani: The box building rod

Dani: roof*

Dani: Warehouse?

Dani: That the wors

Dani: I think

You: There are over 1000 warehouses in Gotham

Dani: Idk wht yu want me totll yu

Dani: Therere other warehous arond?

You: Okay

You: Check corners for symbol and number

Back in the day everyone other than Bruce decided to take part in a challenge to count all of the warehouses in Gotham manually. They each got their sector and graffiti spray to mark counted buildings. Later it kinda turned into a way of identifying them. 

Dani: Red blb with too wite dots

Dani: #83

Okay, he wasn’t too far. He risked roof hopping and checking texts to make sure she didn’t try anything stu-

Dani: Im goin in

You: No!

You: Stay where you are!

You: Hoopoe!

You: Hoopoe!

Dani: Calm down worrywart

Dani: Jus wante ti get ab look

Dani: Invisible

Dani: M not dump

I doubt it

You entered building with Joker’s goons with no back-up or plan. It’s extremely dangerous

Dani: Yeah, yeah don care

Dani: 5 goons in clown masks

Dani: Maks idk wat of

Dani: Not northern hemisphere of sky for sure

Dani: Weird containter s

Dani: Ari smells funny

Dani: Giggly i guess

Dani: U prbl know better

You: Get out of there

You: NOW!

You: Try not breathing it in

Dani: K

Dani: Ill stop brething then

You: GET OUT!

Dani: K

Dani: Why so agressive

Because Duke knew what Joker gas could do to person. He knew how it took wonderful people (like his parents) and left shells wand shadows of who they used to be. Because every gas release left him with panic attack. Because he knew it was more dangerous than even some vigilantes thought it was.

You: Wait until I get there

Dani: K

He almost tripped with how much he tried to speed up.

Dani was actually vibrating when he arrived but stayed quiet. Good. If she breathed in some Joker gas it wasn’t working dose yet. Duke had deep feeling not even Alfred’s cookies would be enough to deter her from entering. Offering her a granola bar he sat at the edge of the roof with bone deep sigh. Girl took snack eagerly, bouncing around like puppy high on caffeine.

“How about we take a note of this happening and get going? Other Bats are better equipped to deal with this,” They weren’t but he didn’t want Dani anywhere near this mess. He himself didn’t want to be anywhere near it either.

Kid got deadly still, staring at him as if she could read his deepest secrets if she looked hard enough.

“They’re scaring you” she whispered with strong feeling but Duke had trouble reading what feeling was it. He put his face in his hands for a moment. How was he even supposed to answer that?

“Joker is one of the most dangerous people in Gotham and these guys are working for him. They have guns. Of course I’m a little scared”

Judging by the face Dani made, she wanted to call him out on his bullshit but thought better of it. She floated to sit next to him, swallowing granola in few bites.

“My friend Johnny mentioned him,” she started between chewing ”he said ‘bastard murdered my baby bro Jay and Jay knew his way in fight, stay away from him Dani’. Normally Johnny isn’t so careful”

“All more reasons to leave it for others!” Duke almost shouted, hope growing in his chest. Maybe he could steer her away from it!

“He also told me to hit him if I happen to meet him. He would owe me ‘big one’ then. Do you think I could get ‘small one’ for couple of goons?!”

“Hoopoe no!”

Girl looked thoughtful and after over two weeks of working together he learned to fear this expression.

“Whatever you’re thinking, no. I’ll buy you biggest fries, just leave this–” he waved vaguely at the warehouse hoping it would get message across “–whole mess alone” There was lump in his throat.

Dani haven’t abandon whatever thought got her like that and nodded to herself few time. She drifted around a bit, shifted under her way too long cloak and finally settled with a soft smile.

“You’re scared… Terrified. You’re terrified of them,” she started calmly, like she would talk to a victim if she actually knew how to do it ”It’s okay. It’s great. Fear is what keeps humans alive,” she nodded as if she recounted something from textbook properly in front of the class “But I’m not scared and I fought people much stronger than them and I’m even better now thanks to you. If you’re so terrified, it means they need to be dealt with and it needs to be done fast. It’s okay,” her grin from soft turned devilish “I was itching for some fun fight anyway”

“Dani-”

“It’ll be quick, I promise,” she said, serious again “Don’t worry,” she stood up, saluted and fell through the roof, all too fast to react or not miss it with a blink. Frankly, it caught Duke so off guard he couldn’t even move for a few seconds after the whole ordeal anyway. He threw himself down to the nearest window as soon as he regained control over his body. His heart was stuck in his throat.

Dani tackled first goon with delighted giggle right when he crashed inside. He checked if his mask was secure on reflexes he plummeted towards the ground, moving his body to land safely on top of the shelf. Warehouses were weird place to fight. Easy to get vantage point like Duke just did but was also hard in a way. Little space made it hard to use wider streaks, easy get backed into corner. Annoying more than anything.

Dani’s wrestling match was so attention grabbing that nobody even looked at Duke, despite his far from subtle arrival. He threw himself forward when he caught telltale shine of the gun in one of goons hands. It was dumb move when Dani was so close to his ally, but who he was to criticize Joker goon’s live choices. It didn’t take Signal long to understand he wouldn’t make it on time. He had to but there was no-

Two gunshots rang in rapid succession split second before Duke got to the goon and, with swiftness granted only by adrenaline and fury people got when someone their got hurt, knocked man out cold. Before body could hit the ground he spun around to see the damage because Dani still refused to wear any armor and from this close goon would have to be Storm Trooper to miss her. Because she was most likely bleeding heavily. What if they hit something instantly lethal?

He faced a fight right in time to see Dani jumping at another goon also openly wielding a gun. He wanted to yell at her but bullets were fired before he got a chance. He looked for blood dripping from her torso while dodging another man  barely taking his eyes off Dani.

“That wasn’t nice,” she sounded like she pouted! At being shot! “If I was anyone else I would be seriously hurt right now, you know?” her voice was somewhat off. Like it wasn’t quite made by her vocal cords but some awkward voice generator.

Before the appalled man could react, he got technically not too good right hook to the jaw. It was strong enough to make him unconscious and get quite loud creak out of his neck. Duke hoped Dani didn’t mess up the guy's spine. He was criminal but he didn’t deserve this type of treatment.

Duke focused back on his own fight when he made sure that girl wasn’t in immediate danger of dying. He dodged running goon again, who literally ran himself into the shelf because of that. Signal used his short confusion to hit him in the side of his neck, rendering the opponent unconscious. Okay, they made it, this was the last-

Another gunshot made his sped-up heart skip a beat. Lump in his throat suffocated him.

No, no, no, no, no-

“I shot you in the face!”

 He looked her way ready to see unmoving body and red decorating concrete floor.

“There was a good quip for- oh right” she started cheerfully, entirely unharmed, before her face twisted into something actually demonic.

“Y̶o̸u̵r̵ ̶p̵e̶s̴k̶y̵ ̴l̷i̷t̶t̸l̶e̸ ̵b̷u̸l̴l̴e̶t̷s̵ ̴w̸o̴n̵'̸t̵ ̵h̶u̵r̶t̸ ̸m̷e̶, ₥ØⱤ₮₳Ⱡ₴”

She laughed in distinctly Dani way, all bright and joyful while also so not like herself, distorted and echoey it mage hairs at the back of his neck stand.

Duke froze when goon fired again and there was no way she dodged it. There was not enough space. She had to get shot. She got shot and he did nothing to stop it. A child got hurt because of him-

He looked at but hadn’t quite seen how Dani knocked out last goon and flew up to him. He heard her voice but words were impossible to understand over rush of blood in his ears. He could tell she was laughing. They should get out. Dani mentioned giggly smell in the air. It had to mean Joker gas. They needed to be out yesterday.

He stumbled a bit, forcing his leg to cooperate, half caring, half dragging girl to the nearest exit point. Fact that he could touch her and didn’t feel any blood was grounding a bit.

“-gnal, Signal are you okay? Your heart is beating weird,” Dani asked, sounding a bit scared for the first time today. Duke’s brain felt too fuzzy to care “Signal, you’re freaking out, calm down, please”

Light assaulted their eyes the moment they were out. Before he got fully used to it, he set girl in front of him and detached her cape. She may have squawked at this action but he didn’t care. She was shot, he needed to check her for injuries.

She got shot, she got shot, she got shot-

“Signal what-” he was clearly freaking her out “Oh. You think I’m hurt. I told you I could handle it. I’m fine. Signal I’m really fine. I have intangibility, bullets can’t hurt me. I’m fine Signal”

Duke wanted to make sure. Adrenaline or simple wish to not worry him could make her ignore something. He couldn’t let her. He made her turn maybe a little to roughly.

He wouldn’t be able to forgive himself if she bled out.

She was actually fine.

Relief hit him so strong he crumbled against the wall, his mind finally succumbing to the haze. It was fine. It was all actually fine.

He may have heard some yelling.

Next thing he registered was something tad too warm, almost burning his palms. His gloves did their job of protection well though. There was a herbal smell. Melissa, he registered after a moment. It took him some more time to realize that the source of the smell was in his hands. He had scathingly hot cup of melissa in his hands. He stared at a little bit squashed paper again trying to get used to the light. He didn’t even realize he closed his eyes. Sound of the paper bag made him look up where Dani, still without her cape, crouched few feet away from him.

“You back?” she asked cautiously. Duke wasn’t sure how to answer. He was and he wasn’t. His mouth didn’t work anyway. He shrugged, mindful of the cup in his hands. Blanket, he didn’t even know he was wrapped in, fell from one of his shoulders.

“I don’t know what happened but Jazz likes this tea when she needs to calm down. Though she usually needs to drink it to make it work,” Dani rambled, gesturing widely “You’re still breathing kinda funny, can you slow down? It’s not good for humans to breathe so fast. It doesn’t let good stuff from air get in your blood and travel around your body and it’s not healthy. I know, Jazz told me and she is really smart. She wants to be this doctor who stabs brain back into working. She had this smart word for it… Neurosurgeon, I think it’s this one. She said breathing like that is not good for brain so slow down? In for four, out for four? I don’t know, Signal, just calm down?”

Right, he still was hyperventilating. Duke focused on his lungs, forcing them to expand, trying to match up Dani’s slightly gasping breaths.

He really was freaking her out, wasn’t he?

Melissa was almost lukewarm by the time he was back in his body enough to drink it. It was sweet, a bit too much for his taste.

“You good now?” Dani asked and Duke nodded. He was as good as he could at the moment “Great, I didn’t want to leave you for too long so I don’t have BatBurger. I got cookies though. And I can go get it now”

“Don’t,” he caught her arm and squeezed, not sure why he did it himself.

“Huh?”

“Don’t go anywhere”

“Sure. Wanna cookie? I have chocolate chips and healthy, wheat ones”

“Chocolate”

“Okay” she nodded and fixed blanket on his arms. It was comfy. If Duke was firing on all cylinders, he would wonder where she got it.

“Don’t ever do it again”

“What is it though?”

“Jumping into danger like that”

“Oh, really? It wasn’t that dangerous, they were normal humans”

“They had Joker gas and guns”

“Intangibility means I can ignore bullets Signal, don’t be such worrywart. It’s bad for your health. What’s Joker gas?”

Question and the whole statement felt so surreal that Duke couldn’t help but laugh, choked and hysterical as it was. She didn’t know what Joker gas was. Worrying about her getting shot was bad for his health. He just had a panic attack and was comforted by a ten years old girl with cookies and melissa. What the fuck?

“Hey!” Dani pouted “Don’t laugh like that! Jazz always says that you shouldn’t laugh when someone doesn’t know something, just explain it to them! Signal!” she whined but the damn broke he couldn’t rear his hysteria back in “Alright, I’m Googling it”

She did as Duke’s laughter winded down. He was almost calm when she deemed her research enough.

“Alright, this is some nasty shit”

This sentence startled him into full silence. Dani was ten, swearing wasn’t something she did, like, ever. He must’ve scared her a lot.

“I’m fine though. I didn’t breathe it in. Did you? This laughter sounded a bit worrying to be honest”

“I’m okay, I had gas mask. People sometime laugh to release tension”

“Oh”

“Yeah. But you were in the building with it and didn’t have gas mask”

“I wasn’t breathing”

“You were talking”

“Our fucked up biology, as Danny likes to put it, means that one doesn’t mean another. I just don’t use it often because humans find it uncanny and my throat gets itchy after some time”

Something in Duke wanted to argue more but it was squashed but utter exhaustion that crashed him.

“Alright”

They sat for a long moment.

“Are you ready to patrol now?”

Duke would laugh again if he had any energy left.

“I think we should end for today. I would be useless like that”

“Okay, valid. You go home I’ll fly around a bit”

“No. You’re going home too. I don’t have enough emotional energy to worry about you getting into some mess like this again”

They stared at each other for a long moment before Dani looked away with angry huff.

“Okay. You’re worse than Danny, you know?”

“I don’t care. Go home and stay safe”

“You sure you will be alright if I go now? I can walk or fly you somewhere, not home if you don't want me to but maybe somewhere closer?”

“I’ll be fine. I can call my brother. Just go please”

“Sure. See you tomorrow, Signal. You were really brave today”

“Thank you, Hoopoe” If she answered, he didn’t hear her. He fumbled with his comm to turn it on with still shaky hands. Finally he managed and called a pick up in the form of Jason. It was great to have older brother who always had time like that. Even if it meant a lot of unnecessary questions about what happened Duke wasn’t up to answering it yet and threats of serious violence on his enemies.

Duke couldn't force himself to let go of the orange blanket. It was grounding.

Though Alfred made him hot chocolate with marshmallows. He wouldn’t repeat today for that, but it certainly was nice accent.

*********

"Humouristic" summary of this part

Dani: Yo, there are goons here. Gonna investigate.

Duke: *quietly freaks out*

Random Joker's goons: *do normal goon things*

Dani: *attacks them* HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Duke: Is this what minor heart attack feels like?

Goons: *start shooting*

Duke: Is this what major heart attack feels like?

Dani: Dude, you good? Here, get some tea, cookies and blanket

*

Dani, few hours later, texting: Hey Signal, remeber to bring back my cape tmrw

Duke, internally: Wait, this is her cape?

Duke, also texting: Wanna better one? Like Spoiler has?

Dani, somehow conveing Ghost Speak via text: Don't you dare

Thank you for reading this <3

Next part

[breadandblankets]

how i hc duke's relationships with the other (main) bats

bruce: mentor/friend/weird HS teacher u bond with kinda thing, i think bruce on his end still feels simmering guilt for not being there for duke when he needed him, duke feel simmering resentment towards bruce for being another adult that left him, this will boil over at some point but then they'll get over it, they will never be that dumb nuclear found family thing, i think doug and elaine would like bruce tho so maybe one of those friend of the family situations where u call someone ur not related to aunt/uncle

cass: very very good friends, would probably consider her a sister from another mister if u will, i would hesitate to call her a best friend *gestures at all of war* but i think she's up there, i really love the headcanon that there is some tension on duke's end because cass has the ability to be more efficient but she actively chooses not to, i think for a long time duke is going to be holding some unhealthy and unrealistic standards both for himself and also people around him, like everything else this causes tension then erupts before it gets resolved, cass i think would know about said tension the whole time but have no idea how to bring up the issue or how to even think about resolving it so it drags on

dick: i think duke holds a grudge for the robin war thing, and i think he fucking should iykyk, (the way he just leaves duke on a roof??? with cops????, i was shouting at my fucking comic) idk i think dick would probably make light of it for a while but duke would be real fucking clear that he remembers and won't be forgiving and forgetting any time soon, i think they're acquaintances at best but realistically, coworkers

damian: like cass Extremely good friends, found family if you will, honestly i think they got a lot of their interpersonal issues out of the way before duke becomes signal, so really its a matter of time before they actually become friends and not just acquaintances, they're old man young to me, i think they do old man things like feed birds in the park and play Go together, i think damian is probably one of the only people duke doesn't hold to his standards, he thinks damian deserves to be a kid, making damian be a kid is probably some of the only time that duke is forced to relax by proxy, therefore duke and damian's friendship is strongly encouraged by bruce who is out of his depth for what to do with both of them and throwing them at each other seems to be working (👍 parenting)

tim: i honestly don't think they know each other well, like i think they may have talked once??? so i don't have shit to base their relationship off, generally i think they're amicable if distant, like a coworker you say hi to at the coffee machine

babs: i Need them to interact, honestly it would be really funny if duke meets babs for the first time as oracle and he's just like??? you're my favorite librarian? and babs is like !! we missed you when you stopped volunteering!!! and duke has to be like yeah that was the joker, i think they would have a good relationship, they don't work together all that much cause oracle doesn't run duke's ops and duke isn't usually on the night shift but they know they can call each other in if they need. one of duke's few trusted AdultsTM

jason: i think rocky at the start, duke would definitely have some Memories of the red hood, that would probably be a hill to overcome, but i generally think that jason will eventually move into a more positive position in the city even with the shadows of all that stuff following him ofc. they are absolute Assholes to each other in a way that is clearly affection, jason will let duke get away with anything up to and including murder, duke will never let jason get away with anything, its like a typo in the group chat

steph: re same as tim, and babs practically nothing to base the relationship on BUT i think they would get on like a house on fire, like cass: sister from another mister energy, steph is giving duke the "you just found out ur dad is a supervillain" support he needs, they are the only bats successfully going to college they probably go to events on campus together, idk they have so much potential as the forgotten robins and all that, i think they should bully bruce together that would be so fun.

[maithefluffychicken]

It's a shock, for Astarion, when Wyll simply says "no" to Halsin, once the big druid openly asks the young man for his favours.

Astarion is, as he does, eavesdropping their conversation - a terrible, awful habit he has - and has to suppress a gasp when Wyll rejects Halsin, in a gentlemanly, extremely polite way.

If Halsin looks disappointed by it, Astarion can't say. In his shock, the pale elf rushes to his tent, ignoring the inquisitive glances of his favourite ex-sharran cleric. Maybe he'd tell her later, sharing one of the expensive bottles of wine Astarion likes to borrow from forgotten shelves.

Back in his tent, and with Gale muttering far too close to his liking, Astarion tries to distract himself with a spicy book he found earlier that day in the city. And right before the fierce pirate captain could kiss the hero of the story, Wyll clears his throat to get his attention.

Astarion smiles at him, his stomach feeling light and funny. Fuck him, to feel all flustered just because of a human.

Devil?

Is Wyll still human? Not that Astarion cares. A devil lives longer than a human, if they both survive all this illithid shit, then... maybe then...

"Gods, you're beautiful," Astarion lets the praise slip through his lips. He wishes his voice wouldn't sound as needy as he feels. But Wyll really is breathtaking, his dark skin glowing softly thanks to the closer candles.

"Astarion, I..." Wyll is nervous, he has to clear his throat again. He's so delightful. "Halsin..."

"Oh, darling, I was wondering how long it'd take for him to try!" Astarion barks a high pitched laugh, feigning surprise.

"How did you know?!"

"I guessed it!" Astarion lies. Imitates the druid's voice and speech about free love. Wyll looks both shocked and amused.

"I said no, anyway," Wyll continues. "Just wanted to tell you what happened."

"You saif 'no'? Why would you refuse the company of such a creature?" Astarion asks and he honestly wants to know the answer. "I wouldn't get mad if you ever wanted to have a ride with the bear, darling."

"I know you wouldn't oppose to open our relationship, my star," Wyll says, smiles at Astarion so sweetly it hurts. "But I'd rather be just us, if that's ok? I'm too old fashioned I'm afraid, and I'd understand if you-"

Astarion takes Wyll's hands in his. He doesn't initiates contact first often, so this small gesture is enough to get Wyll's full attention.

"You don't want to? Even if it's been a while since we haven't...?" Astarion asks, if he had a heart, the poor thing would be hammering in his chest like a bat out of hell.

"Astarion, my love, I'm not with you because of sex," Wyll says slowly, looking at Astarion's ruby eyes intently. "If you don't want to have sex ever again, that'd be fine. I just want to be with you, because of you, and I'd be happy to be with you for as long as you'll have me."

"I- Yeah, I was being foolish, wasn't I?"

"May I kiss you, my star?"

"Y-yes," Astarion swallows, taken aback by the duke's warmth, by his soft, gentle manners. By the love this young man proclaims to feel towards him.

Their lips meet in the middle, and Astarion doesn't doubt to deepen it, pouring all his feeligs, his needs and his fears into it.

Wyll look dazed when they take a step back, his lips glistening, a soft dopey smile in them.

"Ah, you are perfect, Wyll Ravengard."

[skatingbi]

Yo we out here with some more Ace lives AU but i'll make them little bullet points so I dont have to write a whole essay. Enjoy my little headcanons!

Warning: Theres. So many. Im not sorry tho lmao

Ace joins the strawhats after the time skip, nobody really minds and theyre happy to spend time with luffy's older brother. He quickly becomes best friends with Nami. I just feel it in my soul that they would gossip together.

Both Ace and Luffy suffer from awful PTSD symptoms after Marineford. With Luffy, his crew eventually learn how to help him. With Ace, though, he only has Luffy to lean on for support until the crew get aquanted with him.

Actually, to add onto that bc im a sucker for acesan, Sanji is the first after Luffy to reach out during one of his bad days when even really small triggers can make Ace spiral into a panic attack.

More acesan sorry lmao. Ace is usually either out on the figure head of the sunny looking at the ocean when Luffy isnt occupying that spot, in the gallery when Sanji is working, or just out on the deck laying on the grass. He especially likes being around sanji in the gallery.

Pre timeskip Ace is extremely different than this AU's Ace because yes he's silly and carries an air of confidence with him still, but he's never shirtless around others anymore. For a long while, Ace doesnt leave the ship or pick fights. His confidence is a facade for a long time.

Depression hits ace like a truck in this AU and its only eased with the help of Luffy and Sanji. Chopper also helps the best he can with what he's got. Ace is grateful for this, and eventually his old self starts to emerge more and more. Luffy is there with him the entire time.

Ace has insomnia, but so does Sanji and Zoro. He'll hang out with them during late night hours either on watch with zoro sharing stories or with Sanji talking to him while he's doing prep work or inventory. He'll probably also fend off luffy when his little brother tries to break into the locked fridge lmao

But more funny headcanons!! Im getting depressing here sorry!! Ace will mess around with Luffy and entertain him before meal times by play fighting. Their asses will be duking it out on the deck and Chopper will be all concerned and Zoro and Nami will be like "Siblings." Like thats the most obvious answer in the world.

Tbh, the crew members with any type of sibling or sibling bond will get it. Luffy will deadass try to steal Ace's food and Ace will smack his hand lightly with haki and Luffy will dramatically exclaim how mean his big brother is.

"Ace is so mean! I'll starve to death!" "Yeah, sure, you little menace"

Ace regaining strength over his devil fruit powers by making little shapes out of fire for chopper, luffy, and usopp. Franky and brook join the group to give ace prompts. It becomes a nightly occurance at this point.

The first time he decides to go shirtless in front of the crew, they realize his old tattoo is replaced by scar tissue that covers nearly his entire back. Nobody says anything, but I think Franky and Nami would be really understanding. Also luffy. Luffy would be like "We match! Ace has a cool scar like I do!" and it reassures him but also breaks his heart simultaneously.

Ace eating nearly as much as luffy and Sanji being like "Are you sure youre not blood related? Because youre both gonna run my kitchen dry"

Ace not really having a defined role in the crew and them not really minding it. Ace floats around basically. It kind of fits him more that way since he knows a bit of everything. He'll look at maps with nami to chart a course to the next island, He'll fight alongside zoro and sanji, he'll tell usopp about different ways to use combustion and heat in weapons or ammo, etc.

Ace and nami using the power of their good looks to scam people lmao and ace being able to swindle men and women. Nami is impressed and also jealous.

Luffy growing his hair out so him and Ace match, but luffy apparently has curlier hair than Ace so its just a fluffy mess until usopp caves and teaches them how to actually take care of their hair (luffy does not absorb a single thing and ace now has to help luffy with his hair when it gets as long as his)

Ace noticing one day how zoro looks at luffy and being like "yikes...you got it bad, man" and zoro just being like "SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP-" but ace is fucking cackling and now zoro cant be too mad about that. He's still embaressed as fuck about it though.

Expanding on that actually: Ace actually being supportive because he knows how loyal zoro is. He isnt worried. Plus, Luffy is extremely strong and it takes a lot to actually hurt him. So he's like "dude you gotta just tell him straight up he is dense as hell"

Ace the ultimate wingman for zoro. Not luffy, though. That's what Nami is there for. Him an nami are definitely working together and placing bets on when and who asks who out with robin, usopp, sanji, and franky. I wont say what they chose for their bet but robin definitely wins.

BUT luffy, nami, zoro, robin, usopp and franky place bets on Ace and Sanji. Ace is never subtle. He flirts openly and is proud of it. Sanji is very subtle with ace, though. The crew immediately see past his bullshit of trying to be straight. Its painful to watch. Poor sanji is trying so hard to remain closeted but the closet is literally glass. I wont say who betted what as per my last bullet point, but surprisingly zoro won. Everyone (nami) is outraged by this incident. Luffy is here for a good time.

The crew playing card games except they learn sometimes ace cannot handle flammable objects because he will burn them accidentally. Competitive card games are now banned if ace is playing.

Ace is also banned from using his devil fruit powers while sparring on the deck. The poor grass on there has been burned so many times. Nami has kicked his ass over it.

Ace and zoro get really competitive. Not like zoro and sanji, but they'll spar without weapons and at least one of them will leave with a busted lip or eyebrow and a lecture from chopper. Theyre chill though they just forget to hold back on their punches. Ace one time used haki and had to help franky fix the deck afterwards.

[missbluesunflowersstuff]

More Damian Wayne headcanon

Because I can and this time is more about future(?) and batkids siblings and I'll also talk about some canon points, then please respect

Damian is not a Bruce clone, then he won't become a bodybuilder like his father when he grow up, but he will be more like Ra's and Talia side, something tall and elegant (and long hair like his grandfather)

Damian sees heritage as something very important, this is more on the cultural side than really a title, he is of Arab and Chinese descent so it is obvious that the issue of him being Batman's son and the devil's grandson is something important, no as a title but with cultural value and perhaps a curse

Look being Batman or Demon Head (I hate when DC is lazy and do this) is is for him a birthright, a duty as a member of that family and also a curse

I know Americans don't really understand the weight of this, but it's something of extreme cultural importance

So you can imagine what a funny thing it was when Dick stole the chair and now we have a Nightwing!Damian or whatever title the boy has brought for himself

if DC keep written Batman like that, I think Bruce and Damian's relationship will end up becoming "I still respect you, but I want distance" something worn similar to Dick and Bruce's relationship

Speaking of family relationships, Damian gives a lot of value and respect to family, just look at his relationship with his mother and grandfather, even his relationship with his cousin. They will fight to the death one day and the next they will be sitting around eating vegetarian food together

At this point I believe that stabbing a family member to see if they is worthy of staying in the family is an Al Ghul thing, Ra's started it as a big joke and they all continue it out of tradition and because it is also funny, one bonding family activity (Talia just never explained this inside joke to Bruce because she wants to annoy him)

Damian is an altruist and a lowkey suicidal (these two combinations together is what led to his death - he sacrificed himself for Gotham; and you can see it when he choice give his clone a sanctuary and also create a sanctuary for those kids in that tournament) and his family lives in fear of those events repet again

When adult he just don't give a fuck about Justice League, even when he is recognized as a great hero, Damian has no patience for any of them but he can helps if Jon, Kor'i or Connor Hawke ask for help if it's another hero, he'll say no

in the future Damian become the Jason Todd of the Al Ghul family

child and teen Damian talk about the cool older sister he has occasionally, much to the brothers' dismay, Bruce confirms the girl's existence, saying that Damian adopted her as a sister. The batkids meet Maya eventually

Occasionally Damian can also talk about his cool older brother from League but he refuses to elaborate this one

One night, when the batkids were gathered to eat a batburger, Duke asked as a joke how long it would take for Damian to adopt a child and this makes everyone relive unresolved childhood traumas. Duke just sits back and eats fries while enjoying the chaos, as now everyone is making calculations about the odds of this happening or not

when everyone finally calms down, Duke (again by pure menace) asks what kind of child Damian is most capable of adopting, and all the screaming and calculations starts again (Bruce lowkey traumatized everyone)

Tim says he (the kid) will be an assassin, so he (Damian) can save the child like Dick saved him. Dick says he (the kid) will be a little stalker who is charming the big hero. Jason calls them cowards because how sure are they that the child will be a boy and not a girl? And at some point they start debating whether the dead Robin's curse will follow these children

Duke Thomas has a good time that night

and now every member of the family has an emergency kit for the hypothetical child that Damian will adopt

Damian can use magic, but he never brings it up. The brothers suspect that he can - due to their blood heritage with Ra's - so they each (separately) have a contingency plan in case someone reacts badly to the fact that Damian knows how to use magic

Let's me explain: once they are all grown up, they don't want to go back to Damian's early days where a brother distrusts Damian in the house, individually they all understand that Damian is his own person and there is no reason to fight anymore, but they don't trust in the reaction between them (Bruce lowkey made everyone paranoid), so this contingency plan is in case "hey Damian can use magic, but now one of my brothers/Batman is mad at him again in the most nosense way, so I'm going to protect my little brother and not let This stupid member of my family hurts my little brother"

Dick reaction: "Oh this is actually more beautiful than I thought….but have you already talked about this with Bruce? He and Tim might react badly because of Ra's, so if you've already told them, we can leave the country until things calm down. Actually I have a spy friend who can help you, you like pandas, right?"

Jason reaction: "oh shit, oh shit, We have a problem now...I already told them that I'm injured and they will know that you healed me, so I want you to take my plane and go to Kor'i, I can talk to her on the phone, she owes me a favor then she will let you stay on her planet due to Bruce and the replacement's reaction because ...you know Ra's' paranoia"

Tim reaction: "I knew it! but I think now we have a problem, your father still have resentment about your grandfather then...take my keys and go to my house, I'll text Bernard about this don't worry, do you want me to pick up your pets?"

and things go this way (they most fear for Bruce bad reaction than anything else)

when kid Damian had the habit of sleeping with the sound of the Batmobile's engine, all the family members have carried him to bed more than once because of this

One night, when Damian is around 17~19 years old, Steph asks him to paint on her wall in her new apartment, in the end she gives him a ride back home and, to her surprise, Damian fell asleep on the passenger seat in the same way he always did as a child

This news made all the brothers always offer him a ride at night, Dick even bought an blanket exclusively for this (one time the baby brother is always the baby brother)

Some batkid headcanon: Damian || Duke || Cassandra || Stephanie || Tim || Jason || Dick

[damianbugs]

okay question, if you want to answer this! but what do you think duke and dick's relationship is like? i feel like i don't see them interact in fics often, and i can only think of 😖 wfa

oh they're such a fun dynamic !! if wfa did one thing correct, it's a lot of duke's dynamics with the bats, since the teasing older brother is definitely how i perceive dick towards duke. i do think that duke would be just as cheeky back, meeting dick's bants very easily. if you're an older sibling with younger siblings, you'll know that at some point they became WAY too cool to make fun of, and suddenly, YOU'RE the one getting made fun of. that's them.

i think this fits them mostly due to their interaction in the Robin War two-part mini that was in Grayson (2014), where during robin school training duke figures out dick's identity, and the fact that he was the first robin and nightwing.

it's so funny to me. dicks like woah, good job for figuring that out and duke's response is what like it was HARD?

they're a good team, and a very silly one at that. they also get along very well because they're quite similar too each other, in the sense of being rather stubborn but extremely brave. i'd say they're both quite the adrenaline-junkies as well.

another aspect of their relationship that's really nice is that dick is really impressed and respects duke and isn't afraid to let him know. many characters have mentioned how great duke is at being a leader and caring for a team, but i'm pretty dick was the first person to actually say it to him directly. i think it set the tone well for all the duke stories that followed.

i also think it's a nice mention that while duke had dick all figured out, dick had been looking into duke way before. he knew what he was capable of, and was still impressed. even after betraying them and duke being rightfully pissed off at him for it, dick makes sure to mention how he doesn't regret picking duke as his robin.

they're a very charming and VERY underrated dynamic. i always thought it was unfortunate that we never saw a team up after this given how dick had picked duke personally as his best student and kind of like his successor.

they're the kind of dynamic that they just look at each other and without saying a word immediately start racing to see who can get across the room the fastest. dick would never say it, but duke is probably his favourite sparring partner, mostly because he does not stick to one style and constantly keeps him on his toes. they probably do ridiculous activities together, like three-day hiking trips where duke complains about the weather the entire time and dick threatens to shove him off the next cliff they see. duke pushes him off first.

they're so family.

[speedforce-zoomies]

Something I think that’s funny (not in a judgey way) is how a lot of the fandom views Tim’s relationships with the other Batfam members/Gotham heroes

Tim might be the bat fam member/Gotham vigilante with the most positive relationships out of every one but for the angst a lot of people ignore that (again not judging, also love a good angsty fic, just think it’s interesting) and I listed it out below : )

Tim & Alfred - Alfred loves him, that’s one of his boys

Tim & Jim Gordon - as far as I’m aware Gordon has never had anything bad to say about Tim

Lucius Fox - they worked well together to stop Ra’s al Ghul from destroying Wayne enterprises/Industries (whatever its being called now) in Red Robin

Tim & Bruce - that’s his son and most of the time Bruce acts like it

Tim & Selina “He’s a goody two-shoes but I like that kid” (Catwoman #31)

Kate Kane - as of Tim Drake: Robin their relationship hit a rough spot but he was still wanting to do whatever he could to protect her so I think they are/ will be good

(Tim & Luke Fox - genuinely have no idea if they’ve had any significant interactions so I’m gonna assume they’re good but not sure if it counts so I’ll leave that up to individual opinion)

Tim & Barbara - Barbara has said he’s the only batboy with manners lol and she has fallen for his baby brother charms

Tim & Dick - has literally stated in canon that he would do anything for Tim, he’s Dick’s litte brother, Dick is absolutely Tim’s favorite brother

Tim & Jean Paul Valley - JPV hurt him but due to his reaction to hearing Tim got the clench and trying to save him he obviously still cares and they’ve worked together since so I think they’re on good terms

Tim & Helena - she was so genuinely heartbroken when she thought he was killed by killer croc, has also fallen for his little brother charms

Tim & Cassandra - siblings who have each others back no matter what

Tim & Jason - despite their rocky start, as of Knight Terrors: Robin they’ve been shown to have a civil if not a positive relationship

Tim & Stephanie - besties despite being exes

Tim & Harper Row - what I’ve seen of them has been a fun relationship “I should go. Probably some kind of mischief going on.” “Mischief huh?” (Batman Eternal #52 I think)

Tim & Duke Thomas - they alway come through for each other and haven’t had any beef as far as I’m aware

Tim & Darcy Thomas - good relationship

Tim & Damian - as of Tim Drake: Robin, Tim is calling Damian his little brother. They may have hated each other in the beginning but they don’t now

(Am I missing anyone??)

Out of the other characters that are generally considered to have good/positive relationships with everyone else -

From my understanding, Alfred, Gordon, & Barbara have had mostly positive relationships with the others (sometimes they’ve had bumps in the road but usually the relationship recovered from that) but I don’t recall if they have had a relationship with ALL of the above characters

Cass and Jason did have beef due to extremely different ideologies and I’m not aware of that being resolved

Duke Thomas has not been shown to have interactions with all of those listed above

Dick has some on again off again beefs with some of the others

+ other beefs I’m aware of

Jason & Damian last I recall were still getting into tumbles whenever they made the other angry, which is a lot

Bruce has multiple beefs going on at all times it seems : (

I feel like I’m forgetting some unresolved beef involving JPV but maybe I’m wrong

Anyways my point is, unless I’m majorly wrong about any of the above, or forgetting several people, Tim is most likely the canonical Batfam member with the most positive relationships amongst Gotham vigilantes (if I went past that that list would never end lol) even if a lot of his relationships with the others started out rough or had a rough patch at some point

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

i think you're onto something with the romance novels world and plot points needing to mirror the kind of outlandishness of the love story. bc the main characters are already inherently acting absurd just by falling madly in love in a month or whatever and then if you add in the contrivances of romance tropes, it starts to feel like whiplash trying to pretend the characters live in any sort of grounded "normal" world. Like when the author adds in a family conflict subplot where the MC is like in absolute shambles because her mom said something slightly passive aggressive at lunch. that reads as more jarring to me than like conflict being something ridiculous that her mom doesn't want her being a marine biologist bc they come from a long line of fishmongers. Give me absurd drama to match the over the top dialogue and character emotions, I knew it would be unrealistic it's a romance novel! I guess this applies more to romcoms, but the same would apply I think to an analogous serious scenario. Or at least that's my take on it

okay so having just finished genuinely the most boring romance novel I have ever read in my LIFE I'm going to expand on this a little so thank you for sending an ask that gives me such a great platform to do that

I personally generally prefer a romance that just gets fucking silly with it, like really outlandish. A Lady for the Duke (Alexis Hall) is obviously the dream, being a whole swoony historical trans-affirming fantasy, but contemporary fake relationship stories can also be fun in their sheer ridiculousness, like Love, Hate, and Clickbait (Liz Bowery), which I actually liked, and Unfortunately Yours (Tessa Bailey), which I did not like but was very funny. and let's not forget queen Helen Hoang's Bride Test, which has a premise that dances perilously close to human trafficking but all works out in the end!!!

BUT HAVING SAID THAT. I don't think that something needs to be totally implausible to be a good romance. two of my very favorites romance novels anywhere ever are Helen Hoang's Heart Principle (no one should be surprised Hoang is on her twice I adore her) and Akwaeke Emezi's You Made a Fool of Death with Your Beauty. both of these books are very grounded in reality but with very uncommon situations to heighten emotions and add urgency; in Hoang's case it's a character's adult autism diagnosis + death of a parent and in Emezi's case it's a very sudden and #problematic attraction coming out of absolutely nowhere. the stakes are very real, mostly centering around being true to yourself v disappointing your family, but the circumstances are still wild enough to make you say "god DAMN" and keep turning pages. hell, I'll even be extremely generous and include Mistakes Were Made (Meryl Wilsner) which is kind of a flop but does have the intriguing premise of "what if you were fucking a milf but her kid was YOUR BEST FRIEND and it was a secret?"

those are like the two sweet spots TO ME, and this book I just read (which was Thank You for Sharing by Rachel Runya Katz, I feel so bad putting it on blast but I know people are going to ask) really solidified it for me because TYFS didn't fall into either of those categories. I'm going to say something absolutely insane, which is that multiple times while I was reading it I found myself wishing that the book was fanfic, because on its own it just... didn't bring a lot to the table? it falls into the grounded category but doesn't really bring any of those heightened stakes to the story, it's just 330 pages of people in their late twenties complaining about dating and their office jobs. if I wanted that I could just ask my group chat! there's nothing particularly particularly gripping about watching made up strangers do it!

but then I was like oh hang on... if this was two fictional characters who are usually fighting with swords or throwing cars at each other or something this would be so gripping. it's literally the coffee shop AU principle, right? like seeing people in a very mundane setting having an office job and going to a bar is very shrimpteresting when they're normally defusing space bombs. I was explaining this to my housemates and I couldn't think of a straight couple to apply it to (the book is m/f) so I said Naruto and Sasuke, which is crazy because I've never seen a single episode of Naruto, but like. idk Naruto being a museum curator who has to work with Sasuke, a marketing specialist who he had beef with a summer camp 14 years ago, sounds kind of compelling, right? definitely more than just two people I don't know.

there's a post on here that I think about a lot that talks about why advertising a story with tropes doesn't work for original fiction as well as it does for fan fic because knowing the tropes is more helpful when you already have a sense of investment in the characters and their personalities, and I think this is related to that! I think sometimes you NEED to have a wider sense of scope for the characters for them to be interesting in a very mundane setting!

ANYWAY. much to consider, etc.

[lakesbian]

should comment on the first (<- optimistically hoping there will be more) lamb interludes too

i like ashton so far i think it's fun to add another more Noticeably Alien Freak lamb. kindof autistic to be a fucked up biohorror lab experiment that doesn't know how to imitate people yet and consequently has no volume control & errs on the side of speaking too softly instead when you think about it.

the effect of him constantly vividly imagining peoples heads exploding for fun may be somewhat lost on me because i'm like well he's not hurting anyone so good for him.

the nonhuman visual perception was fun to read about i liked that

it has sadly occurred to me while writing this that the next time we see him it's gonna be timeskipped so far ahead that he'll be a Normal Boy and i won't get to enjoy the development phase, which seems like it should be the appeal of adding a new little vat boy to the team

his interlude segment portrays jamie 2 as a bit of an older sister. this is a win for me.

helen thoughts:

best interlude so far hands down because helen is special. one of the best Scenes At All Ever so far hands down because helen is special. it is so EXTREMELY effective to show her away from the lambs for the first time and have her casually remind that the personality she's been displaying for most of the book is an entirely calculated act for the lambs' benefit, and even the glimpses beneath it they've been getting had a heavy dosage of acting involved in the presentation. utter fucking Crocodile of a girl. it's so good

it's also extremely fucking funny for helen to be told to stop acting and respond by standing up and going "i want to gore that guy over there. Sexually."

specifically a big fan of how it's explicitly belabored that she stands up during the interrogation because she's no longer acting. like, the idea that even the most basic level of expected human behavior that would seem common sense exists only because of an act, and immediately ceases if the act does, replaced entirely by some reptilian Thing who stands up and states desire to crawl murderously into someone's mouth--that's really fucking good. and then the act goes back up and helen the Thing remains lying there underneath.

not directly from the interlude but i thought it was cute when sy explained to her that she was possibly feeling loneliness. if i was mary i would treat helen right...reptilegirls need hugs too...i would let her cuddle with me at night like a weird cat...

gordon:

i like him but he's very simple and overshadowed compared to more special individuals like helen. i'm sorry gordon

i do think it's SO fucking funny that he unironically mentally gets worried and compares him thinking mary is hot to helen talking about wanting to crawl into peoples skin and shit. teenager experiencing normal levels of teenager feelings and being like oh NO im some sort of weird intense freak pervert of the earth. like no man youre just a teenager youre gonna be okay buddy. well, you're not going to be okay, but that's for reasons unrelated to being attracted to women. that part is normal and fine.

it's nice to have confirmation that gordon is mind beaming "holy shit please shut the fuck up" at sy just as often as sy is mind beaming it at him. not that we needed it to know, given that sy receives the mind beams 95% of the time minimum (and elects to ignore them almost as often)

i like the bit abt him being a segmented stitched-together person made from composite parts & his feelings also being sort of metaphorically processed as composite parts he can pick and choose from to engage with. griffon boy...

we should kill the duke

we should kill the baron

we should kill the duke and the baron

mary: unfortunately theres not so much to say about this one because she spent 65% of it vividly imagining how she could murder people. love you mary

lillian:

it was fun to see how sy looks from someone else's perspective and then find out what the fuck he was actually doing next chapter. and like just in general fun and convincing to see how she reads him without being privy to the one million insane things he's thinking at any given second

i have to confess i was bad at actually thinking a lot about lillian during this one. one of my main thoughts was "oh good we finally have more detailed description of how sy looks." wildbow novels are cool because you have to wait until one fucktillion words in to find out that a character has long eyelashes. adding that to my list of mental notes for drawing sy

detailed descriptions of how sy kisses lillian (extremely real and true and in character for him by the way you know he was doing a death note monologue in his head about his methodology) made me remember that im going to have to read the lesbian sex scene that fails the bechdel test at some point because mary tries to imitate it and then i went 🙁and had to try to stop thinking about that.