#also: michael should have been there to go out with the boys at the end | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

m1ckeyb3rry · 4 months

Note

Hello,

I have a writing prompt for Michael Kaiser (Blue Lock): Kaiser gets into a pr relationship with an actress and they eventually bond and fall in love.

I think he would have a hard time because of his feelings of worthlessness, but this guy has so much potential, I swear, I love him so much.

If you want to go for a "dark side of Hollywood" type of concept, imagine: a young girl who was raised under the pressure of becoming "the perfect star" and surrounded by the chaos of the industry (Idk, the movie Black Swan comes to mind, or the typical representation of Marilyn's life, something along the lines). I think he could bond with someone who is in a similar mind space as him, but who externalizes it differently, remaining kind and such. He definitely needs someone who is empathetic and can see through his insecurities, and I really like the concept of two characters who are hurt helping each other heal.

If you don't want that much drama, scratch the idea of a hurt oc. Think about someone with an "entrepreneur" mindset: someone ambitious, confident, and level headed, who (again) is empathetic and would call him out and help him grow (I'm thinking about sae, but emotionally competent lol).

You don't really have to go for any of this though, it's just meant to get you inspired to write something for my boy Kaiser. I hope it's not too much. Also, there's no rush at all!!

Thank you in advance. I hope you have a good day 🩷

��─ THE INSTRUMENT

Synopsis: Michael Kaiser is like a rose, and you are the songbird he cannot bear to lose.

Event Masterlist

Pairing: Kaiser x Reader

Chapter Word Count: 6.8k

Content Warnings: fake dating trope, implied/referenced abuse, call me tabito karasu the way i assassinate kaiser’s character in this, open ending, relationship dynamics many would consider…interesting…

A/N: hiiii anon ty for requesting!! i hope that i wrote kaiser in a somewhat satisfactory way 😫 this is my first time writing for him so idk if i got him right 😓 also i have NO idea why but for some reason i decided to write this in the present tense which i literally have never done?? so if it sounds off that’s why 💔 i’m so sorry i really don’t know what possessed me SKDJFSHKL

Additional: part of my 500 follower event! see the event description and rules to make a request of your own.

It’s hot and like a bruise, your first phone call with Michael Kaiser. He’s that brand of aggravating and just shy of painful to speak with; morbidly, you wish for the conversation to manifest as some kind of actual injury, perhaps on your upper arm, so you can poke at it until it is tender and blooming. But of course, that sort of thing isn’t possible, so you amuse yourself by tapping your fingers against the counter and considering what you might eat for dinner.

“Did you hear me?” he snaps when you do not respond to his proposition immediately. He speaks with an accent, clipped and short, lending severity to his words even when he’s saying nothing of note. “Miss L/N. It’s in both of our best interests to cooperate.”

He’s not wrong about this. It’s the only reason you’ve stayed on the call for as long as you have — it’s in your best interest. It’s the same for him, too, and the thought almost makes you laugh, because who would’ve expected your interests and his to ever align?

“Of course I heard you,” you say, twisting open your bottle of water, taking a sip and idly wondering if he can hear an accent when you speak, too. It’s difficult for you to notice your own, but maybe to him, you sound as odd as he does to you. “You should learn patience, Mr. Kaiser. Such a heavy request you’re making of me, and yet you demand my answer immediately?”

He huffs. “It’s not something you need to dwell on.”

“It might be,” you say, though it’s not at all. Your mind was made up the moment he asked; everything after that has been nothing more than a ploy to irritate him. You’re good at that, at irritating people. Michael Kaiser is not an exception.

“Miss L/N,” he says again, something like a darker version of pleading creeping into his tone. “Your answer. Now.”

“Well, you already knew before you asked, didn’t you? Naturally, I’ll do it,” you say. “It’s a mutually beneficial partnership. Though I expect you to really try your best, Mr. Kaiser, or else it’ll all be for naught.”

“I could say the same to you,” he says.

“Between the two of us, who is the actress?” you say, chuckling when he is silent. “I am sure that I will be convincing. It’s you who I worry for. Hiding your true feelings has never been one of your strengths, has it? Or you wouldn’t be speaking to me at all.”

“Shut up,” he says after a moment has passed. “I doubt your acting skills are anything to brag about.”

“I know you’ve watched my movies,” you say, and when he doesn’t refute this, you beam. “Have you really?”

“Only because someone I know suggested I should,” he says. “If I want to love you, then I have to understand you. That’s what he told me.”

“And what did you think?” you say.

“I thought that I don’t plan to love you at all, and then I told him as much,” he says, the force of his eye roll transmitting even over the phone. You’re not sure if he’s acting deliberately obtuse or if he really thinks you care about this inane conversation he’s describing, but either way you sigh, because his answer is so telling of his personality.

“I was talking about my movies,” you say.

“I don’t prefer the genre,” he says, and then he’s hanging up with a promise to call you later, if he is so inclined. He doesn’t tell you not to call him, but you feel like he implies it, so you vow to set your phone aside and pay him no mind for the rest of your evening.

I’m dating Michael Kaiser, you type in the body of your email to your manager, who you are certain will be so delighted by this news that he will combust spontaneously upon hearing it. You want to type it again, this unbelievable turn of events, so you do. I’m dating Michael Kaiser. Then you delete the repetition, reverting it once again into a formal email, instead of a giddy celebration over an event which should not prompt giddiness or anything resembling it.

It’s a relationship meant to salvage his ruined reputation and boost your career in one fell swoop, and so it’s a relationship that can only work if it’s formed between you two in particular. He, who is a foul-mouthed soccer prodigy, known better for his crass treatment of others than any actual skills he may possess, and you, a rising star who will do anything to be famous and are already of a serviceable status to be seen with him.

Despite your burst of excitement, the prospect of dating Michael Kaiser isn’t actually a thrilling one. The rumors of his horrid demeanor aren’t rumors, and you know this well, albeit through secondhand accounts. Cruelty is the way that he operates, his so-to-speak basal mode, and because it is so intrinsic to his being, you do not fancy that he will deviate from that malicious rule, even for you.

But you are accustomed to a false existence. Donning a facade and masquerading as a person who you are not is the only thing you are good at, are good for, and this time is no different than every other. You will put on the mask of a woman who is loved by Michael Kaiser, who has tamed that mad emperor and turned him into her sweet pet, and you will once again fool the world into believing you.

He’s doing an interview today. You’re only aware because he texts you right before and tells you to turn on the TV to a channel you’d never choose if you had a say in the matter. But you’re intrigued and he refuses to explain further, so you do as he commands and find yourself watching as he reclines back in a leather armchair and smirks at the host, who’s clearly nervous.

She’s pretty, her hands shaking but her expression serious. You’ve never seen her before, which means she’s new. Of course, that’s not a surprise; only someone very inexperienced or very stupid would invite Michael Kaiser to their show, and she does not seem to be particularly stupid, so her affliction is the first.

“Um, Mr. Kaiser, it’s a pleasure to have you with us,” she says, like she cannot quite believe that he is actually there, or like she is afraid of what he might take offense at, or some combination of the two.

“It’s a pleasure to be here,” he says, all roguish and self-assured, which is such a contrast to his typically surly demeanor that you have to commend the girl for keeping her composure.

They speak at length about his soccer career, throwing around words you do not understand and do not care to. It’s so boring you almost power down the television and tell him you think as much, but then the girl clears her throat, her face turning a comical shade of red as her fists clench the paper she’s been reading off of.

“This last question is from our viewers, but it’s personal, so if you don’t want to answer, then it’s not a problem,” she says, squirming in her chair, probably hoping he does not humiliate her. It will be bad for her career if he does, even if by now everyone knows what kind of person he is.

“Go on, then. I feel like we’ve built a rapport here, so I don’t mind it as much if it’s from you,” he says. It’s a perfectly packaged sentiment. His PR team must have tortured him into this new persona. You try to imagine it — it’s definitely a humorous thought, picturing the Bastard München representative slamming Michael Kaiser’s face into a bowl of water for every snarky comment he makes. Unrealistic, though. They would never risk compromising his performance like that.

“There’s rumors that you’re seeing Y/N L/N, the actress. A source who claims to be close to you both mentioned it online, and people can’t stop talking about the possibility. Neither you nor Miss L/N have addressed it, though, and our viewers were hoping you might…?” She cringes back, already preparing for one of his tirades, but he only smiles genially and winks at the camera. You remind yourself to tell him later that he’s laying it on too thick, even if you are enjoying this new character that he’s playing up for the sake of it.

“Y/N L/N? I’m shocked that you think I’m handsome enough to date someone like her,” he says. Your phone buzzes — it’s your manager, crowing about how impressed he is with your ‘boyfriend’ and his presence of mind.

“So it’s a no?” the interviewer says, almost hopefully. He’s mysterious when he shrugs, mysterious and more than a little coy, as if she’s flattering him and he’s too shy to accept the praise.

“If Miss L/N ever deems me to be worthy of her, then it’s a yes in a heartbeat,” he says. It’s an excellent setup for his redemption, and the girl plays into it so beautifully that you tell your manager to send her flowers or some chocolate at the earliest possible opportunity.

“I think that you’ve shown yourself to be an excellent candidate today,” she says.

“Have I? I’ve really been trying to prove myself,” he says. Dreamy sighs ripple through the live studio audience. Someone whistles. It’s all very romantic and fairy-tale-esque, although he is far from being any kind of prince.

“You’re doing great,” the girl assures him. “I’m sure that, if Miss L/N is watching, she’ll have no choice but to be smitten.”

“If she’s watching? Oh, the thought didn’t even cross my mind,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck. You shouldn’t have doubted him and his audacity; he’s fallen into the role as if he were born to play it. “How embarrassing. I’ve just confessed to her on live television without even knowing if she’s interested…”

He’s actually blushing. You are doubly awed — he’s a natural-born talent. It’s a shame that he’s devoted to soccer; he could make it out like a bandit in the acting industry.

“No, no, don’t be embarrassed. How could she ever reject someone like you?” she assures him. How, indeed! At the moment, you are so pleased that you could kiss him. He’s better than any co-star you’ve ever had to work with, in that he is making your job exponentially easier instead of exponentially more difficult.

“If she really is watching, then I can only pray she heard you say that part,” he says, waving in greeting, presumably at you. “Hello, Miss L/N. I really admire you, so if you find me at all agreeable, then I would quite like it if you would say yes to the date I’m going to ask you on.”

He’s made the world swoon and your social media mentions triple. People are begging you to say yes, to give him a chance, to see how he has changed. They want to live through you, and you will let them.

When he calls you, you tell him you were thrilled by his performance. This causes him to shoot back that he finds you insufferable and condescending, to which you say that it’s what makes you and him such a perfect pair. Then you recite an address, and he asks you what you’re going on about. You answer that it is the place where you will have your first date, and then you hang up before he can respond, just so that you can deny him the chance to do it to you first.

Cameras flash in your faces as you enter the restaurant your manager has booked a reservation at. Michael Kaiser’s arm is wrapped around your waist, and it’s nauseatingly domestic, the kind of scene that would be the cover for one of those coming-of-age movies your agent loves booking for you. You wait for the frantic sound of camera shutters to slow, and then you tug on his sleeve.

“What is it?” he says. It’s quiet enough that no one else can hear, which is why it’s devoid of any warmth, but you are unruffled.

“Your tie,” you say. “It’s not crooked, but we will pretend that it is, and I’ll fix it so that there is something sweet to accompany the tabloid articles that will come out tomorrow.”

Your hands reach for his neck, and he does something you do not comprehend — flinching back, he shakes his head. When he realizes he’s done this, he grits his teeth, like the anger can make up for the temporary weakness. You do not press the issue, merely furrowing your brow and gazing up at him, doing your best to ensure that your eyes remain soft, so that the exchange is not misinterpreted by the parasites around you.

“No,” he says. “Do something else, but leave my tie alone.”

“Alright,” you say. It’s not sensible for you to argue, and anyways it doesn’t matter much what you are doing, as long as you are doing something. Humming to yourself, you adjust the lapels of his jacket. The cameras go off again. You pretend like you do not notice, like the world consists of only you two, and then you interlace your fingers with his, allowing him to drag you into the restaurant behind him.

It’s your turn to be interviewed. You’re wearing a dress, your legs crossed at the ankles — it’s demure and practical and prevents anyone from leering at you, so it’s been a habit of yours for quite a while. The interviewer is female, though, which calms you a bit. She’s older, around your mother’s age, and the wrinkles on her forehead remind you that you should call your parents and arrange for them to meet your doting boyfriend.

“Miss L/N, I can’t begin to tell you how excited I am to finally meet you!” the woman says. You think her name may be Anne, but she hasn’t introduced herself to you yet, so you’re not certain.

“You are too kind. If anything, it’s an honor for me to be here,” you say. The audience really likes that, when you are humble and shy and so darling. It’s palatable and easy for them to digest, or that’s what your manager tells you.

“Tell us about your upcoming projects,” she says after giving you the appropriate amount of praise for your charming personality.

“I’m currently shooting a new romantic comedy, but I’m afraid it’s all very hush-hush, so I can’t say too much about it. I think you all will really enjoy it, though, and I’m looking forward to the day that we can discuss it at length,” you say.

The conversation goes on like that for a bit, but you know she’s going through the motions because she has to, not because she wants to. There’s only one question she cares to ask, but if she just talks to you about your boyfriend and not your own accomplishments, then she’ll be blasted online as an anti-feminist. You hear quite frequently that this is akin to suicide in the world of marketing, so you can’t blame her.

That doesn’t stop you from having some fun. When she’s exhausted every possible avenue of questioning you about your future plans and past successes, you make as if you’re going to stand up and leave. Panic leaps across her face, and you snicker.

“We’ve spoken at such length about my acting career. You can’t possibly have any more questions about it, hm? You probably know more than my manager does!” Your attitude is balanced out by the joke. The audience laughs. It’s a fine line that you walk, but if you do not have the chance to act sharper every now and again, you believe you will die — internally if not externally — so you take such risks when you can justify them to yourself.

“You’re dating Michael Kaiser now, aren’t you?” she says. It’s a rancid curiosity she hides with a motherly type of concern. You brush off your legs, recross them, and tuck a piece of hair behind your ear.

“I am,” you say. You don’t have to play the games that he did; you both are established now. Official. A bona-fide couple. Anyways, it’s more appealing if you are outright with it.

“How has that been? You’ve really made a difference in that young man’s life, it seems,” she says.

The best way to lie is to tell the truth. “Yes, I suppose I have, but he has made an equal difference in mine. He is as good for me as I am for him; truly, I never understood what it meant when my parents called each other their ‘better halves’ until we met.”

In an hour, there will be thousands of posts online about this. If Y/N and Michael break up, then I don’t believe in love anymore! Maybe soulmates are real! Couple goals! These are the kinds of captions you are anticipating. The two of you will send screenshots to one another and laugh about how gullible the world is, and then you will strategically plan which comments to like and posts to favorite so that your message goes through. That’s the extent of your relationship with him, really, at least when the two of you are alone. The detachedness makes things much easier than they otherwise would be.

“There’s a popular theory going around that the two of you have had a secret wedding already. Is it true? Am I speaking to Mrs. Kaiser at the moment?” she says, eyes glittering like a vulture’s. She’s ready to pounce on any hesitation, any brief indecision that you might show, but you have spent more time in the spotlight than in your own parents’ home, so you don’t even waver.

“Marriage! I think we’re a bit too early in our relationship to be considering such things, and a bit too early in our lives to be rushing into major decisions like that,” you say. “If and when the time comes, you’ll be the first to know, but it won’t be for a while.”

It won’t be at all, actually. This relationship is not going to last for more than another month. Once the buzz surrounding you two dies, you and he will quietly split. It’ll be as if you never met in the first place.

Your phone rings as you’re leaving the studio. The caller ID says that it is Michael Kaiser, and the thought that he was watching your interview in the same way you watched his makes you feel odd.

“Hello?” you say.

“I’m not gonna marry you. Never-fucking-ever. If you’re expecting a ring, then put it out of your mind.”

“I wasn’t,” you say. “How else would you have liked me to answer that question?”

“Fuck if I know.”

Neither of you hang up on the other — you don’t think you can summon the wherewithal to, which is out of character for him but typical for you — though you both also don’t speak any further. He stays on the line while you drive home, breathing softly like he is sleeping, but you are sure that he is not. The point of it is lost on you, but then you drive into a tunnel and the call ends on its own, so it’s moot anyways.

Your parents are excited to meet Michael Kaiser. They’ve read up on him extensively, watched all his interviews and even his game highlights. Your mother calls you the night before just so she can gush to you about how handsome he is, how you’ve really done well for yourself this time around. Her approval is nice to have, though superfluous, like a luxury soap or perfume.

Your father is the one who suggests you all go golfing. You don’t know how to play, and neither does your mother, but you recognize it’s his attempt at connecting with who he thinks is your boyfriend, so you accept. You’re not sure if Michael Kaiser knows how to play golf, or really anything besides soccer, but he is game enough to come that you suppose he must.

It’s warm out, the sun beating down on your father’s brow as he lines up the ball with his club. Michael Kaiser stands on his left, and you think he’s somehow beautiful in this lighting. Not beautiful how your many attractive coworkers are, but in a manner which is distinctly him and therefore utterly irreproducible. His body is lean and graceful, his hair shaggy and gold, though he’s dyed the tips blue in what you’re sure is a statement. The shade matches his eyes, and also the inked roses on his neck. You have long ago come to the conclusion that the flowers are also a part of that same statement, but you have yet to discover what that statement might be.

“He’s an improvement from that last boyfriend of yours,” your mother says, leaning back so that she can pour the last few drops of soda from her empty can into her throat. You and her are sitting together in the golf cart, seeking refuge in the shade of its plastic roof, sharing the drinks that your father had bought for himself and forgotten about the instant he stepped onto the golf course.

“He is,” you say. That’s not an exaggeration, nor is it something incredible. Your last boyfriend was an old classmate of yours who loved your celebrity more than he loved you. Michael Kaiser doesn’t love you, either, but he is honest about it, and you do not love him back, so there is no resentment between you and him.

“I like the way he looks at you,” your mother says. There’s a hiss as she opens a new can of soda. It’s a vice, but whenever you remind her of it, she dismisses you. She wants to have fun while she’s on this earth, apparently. Maybe drinking five cans of soda in one sitting means her life will be shorter, but life without soda isn’t worth living anyways, or something like that. The reasoning is stupid, but you know she is loyal to it, so you have to accept it. “It’s refreshing. So gentle. You’ll be talking to someone else, and he’ll just be staring at you like he can’t quite believe you’re his.”

“I hadn’t noticed,” you say.

Your mother is about to say something else, but she is interrupted by a loud whoop. Michael Kaiser has hit a hole-in-one, and before you can tell him to stop embarrassing himself, your father is cheering, throwing his arms around him and calling him son.

“Your father likes him, too,” your mother said.

“Oh, he needs to stop that! I can’t believe he’s making things so awkward,” you say, getting up to reprimand him before realizing that there is an entirely foreign sheen to Michael Kaiser’s eyes as he rests his chin on your father’s shoulder. He is not quite smiling, but it is a close approximation of the expression, and when your father ruffles his hair and says that it may have been beginner’s luck but he’s proud regardless, the curve of his lips becomes deeper.

You don’t understand, but you don’t need to. You may have facilitated it, but the moment belongs to him, and your presence is as unwanted as it is unnecessary.

You sit back down and take a sip of your mother’s soda. She grins knowingly and says that you look like you are in love, too. You don’t have the heart to tell her the truth, so you hum noncommittally and say that you might be.

You are growing fond of Michael Kaiser. It isn’t a slow realization — actually, it hits you very suddenly one day. He hands you a bouquet of flowers before opening the passenger door of his car for you. You ask him why he’s brought you peonies instead of roses, and he says it’s because he despises roses. It’s such an absurd answer and he says it with such a straight face that you have to cough in order to disguise your choked laughter.

“Those must be some other kind of flower, then,” you say, pointing at but not touching his tattoos, at the delicate petals which fold over his pulse, azure and bright and silky.

“No, those are roses,” he says, his knuckles growing white on the steering wheel. Normally, you wouldn’t ask further, but today you want to prod at his bruise of an existence, so you turn the music down and hug the peonies to your chest.

“But you despise roses,” you say.

“It’s a good reminder,” he says. “No flower lies quite as well as a rose does.”

That is when you are certain that you are partial to him. It is an unavoidable fact and also a treacherous one, but true notwithstanding.

You put the peonies in a vase of water when you get home that night and hope they never die, although you know that they will be gone within the week. It’s how time works. The peonies will die and you two will break up and you’ll have nothing but a bare kitchen counter and thoughts of his intricacies to remember him by.

There are no paparazzi around on the night when he wraps your hands around his throat. You are alone with him, sequestered away in the living room of his mansion, a bowl of popcorn shoved between the two of you while a movie plays in the background. This seclusion defeats the original purpose of the relationship entirely, but you sense that that original purpose is no longer fully applicable, so you do not refuse when he calls you and demands you come.

There’s a blanket tossed over your legs, the brilliant colors of his soccer club’s emblem faded from repeated washes. It’s warm, and if you were not busily eating most of the popcorn, you’d pull it up around your shoulders. As for Michael Kaiser, he’s facing the screen, his hair tied back in a knot, a pair of glasses resting on the bridge of his nose and reflecting the visage of the lead actress as she laughs. You observe him as you snack. You’ve seen this movie before and didn’t really like it, so you’re not missing much. He’s more interesting by far.

“I know that woman,” you say, so that he has to acknowledge you.

“Hm,” he says.

“She’s a jerk,” you say.

“Sounds like your kind of company,” he says. You scoff, because he’s not wrong. He keeps watching the movie, and you keep watching him, until a thought occurs to you.

“Can I call you Michael? Even when it’s just us two,” you ask. He purses his lips. The actress screams. Her character has just died, but the scene is poorly shot and even more poorly acted, so it’s not as heart-wrenching as it should be. You would’ve done better, but your agent doesn’t want you taking any gory roles, and your manager agrees. In his professional opinion, it’ll ruin the doll-like persona you’ve spent so long cultivating. He’s probably right. It’s hard to adore a doll once you’ve watched it die so gruesomely.

“You can do whatever you want,” he says.

“Okay,” you say, swallowing another mouthful of popcorn, the salt lingering on your tongue long after the popcorn itself is gone. “Michael.”

“Yes?” he says.

“Nothing,” you say. “I just wanted to say your name.”

“Okay,” he says. “Y/N?”

He’s never called you that in private. Of course, when you’re out and about, he must refer to you with such familiarity, but in private you’ve never been anything but Miss L/N. It’s a change but a good one. You don’t want to ever be Miss L/N again. Not to him.

“Yes?” you say.

“I’m trying to watch this movie,” he says. “It has high ratings, so be quiet and allow me to finish.”

“It’s shitty,” you say, yawning and leaning back against the mountain of pillows you’ve created for yourself. “Overly gratuitous with its use of fake blood.”

“Right, because that’s a cardinal sin,” he says dryly.

“Sorry, but it’s hard to enjoy films when you know how they’re made,” you say. He picks up the remote and pauses the movie. You blink, because that’s about the last thing you expected from him. Then he turns the TV off entirely and you realize you’ll probably never be able to predict what he does next, so you should stop trying already.

“I know how movies are made,” he says.

“Did you have a secret acting career you never told me about?” you say. It’s a joke, but you also wouldn’t be surprised if it’s true. He’s taken to performing like a fish takes to water, and every day you tell him he should quit soccer and devote his life to cinema because of this uncanny skill.

“Not me, but my mother was an actress, and my father was a director,” he says.

“Was?” you say.

“Maybe they still are,” he says. “I don’t know. We’re not on speaking terms.”

“Why not?” you say. He takes your hands in between his, and you can make out immediately that his instinct is to hurt you, to press his fingertips into your wrists so hard that they leave marks. It’s to his credit that he fights back the urge, fights it back and arranges your palms against his carotid arteries. His jaw clenches and his pupils dilate as he waits for you to realize; when you do, you rip your hands away for fear of wounding him further.

“Don’t pity me,” he instructs you, unpausing the movie like nothing happened. “And don’t ever bring it up again.”

Now that you have his permission to refer to him only by his name, you develop a strange fascination with saying it. He’s amused by your new fixation, answering you in a lilting tone every time you call for him.

According to him, you are like a small nightingale, always warbling, always happy, fluttering around beside him and changing his mood for the better. Well, if you are like a nightingale, then he is like a dog, and you tell him as much when you are sitting across from him at a coffee shop.

“A dog?” he repeats, his face pinching. He’s just taken a swig of the black coffee he always orders, but you know his disgusted expression isn’t a symptom of the beverage’s bitterness. “Take that back.”

“Not in a bad way,” you say. Your own drink is sweet, so you sip on it slowly to prevent a stomach ache. “I’m not calling you pathetic. I just mean that you are amiable and lively. It’s a compliment.”

“It’s not who I really am,” he says. “Have I deceived even you? Amiable? Lively? Remember why this entire scam began in the first place — because I am neither of those things.”

“Right,” you say. “A peacock, then. Terribly vain and entirely alluring.”

He relaxes and raises his cup to his mouth again. He’ll be up late tonight, he always is when he has coffee, but it never stops him from drinking it. “That’s better.”

The reminder that whatever you have with him is not real stings more than it should. You throw away your drink almost untouched, which does cause him to raise an eyebrow, but thankfully he refrains from commenting. It’s a relief, because you don’t even know how to explain it to yourself, let alone him.

He walks you to your front porch and waits with crossed arms as you fish for the key in your purse, shoving it in the lock once you have it in your grasp. His farewell when you open the door is stilted and abnormal, so you stop him with a hand on his arm before he can go.

“Michael,” you say. You’ve never said his name like this before. It comes from a place raw and deep within you, a place that you are certain is purple and black like a wound. You say it like you love him, and you think it must be because you do.

“Yes?” he says. It’s the way he always responds to you, his voice like a song, a small smile on his ordinarily strict face — though today, he is not smiling. Instead, he is frowning, like he has come to an understanding that he would have rather not reached.

“Never mind,” you say. “Goodbye.”

“Goodbye,” he says. He drives away, his car disappearing around the corner, leaving you standing alone in the still-open doorway and wondering how you will survive the day when he disappears permanently.

You’re not sure what it is about him that makes pretending difficult, but suddenly, it’s a struggle for you to maintain your aloof front. You find it disconcerting, that he has taken this aspect of your identity and rendered it entirely null and void; it’s even more disconcerting that he has done it unwittingly and unsympathetically. If you loved him any less, you would hate him, because he has stolen who you are and left you blind and fumbling, but you fell for him, and the way you landed broke something fundamental, so that it is impossible for you to get back up.

“I think that I love you,” you say. You are on his couch again, and there is a movie playing again, which is all too similar to a past scenario that you think about when you are lonely. Tonight, it’s some soccer documentary that you find so tedious you are driven to irrationality.

He drops the glass of water in his hands; you reach out and catch it before it can spill, setting it on the table in front of you.

“What?” he says. You shrug.

“I love you,” you say again, and you’re flippant about it because you’re not telling him in the hopes he loves you, too. In fact, you know that he does not, so you are using him as a confessional; after all, the minimum he owes you is sharing the burden of this sin.

“There’s no one around,” he says. “You don’t have to lie. It won’t gain us anything.”

“It hasn’t gained us anything in a long while,” you say. It’s true — your relationship isn’t trending anymore, and most of your dates are in locations where you will not be recognized.

He stands up. The documentary continues as he paces, and a referee blows a whistle while he tangles his fingers in his hair and pulls. You stay on the couch, your eyes following his erratic movements, your hands folded in your lap.

“No, you don’t,” he says.

“I don’t what?” you say.

“You don’t love me,” he says. He wants to sound callous, you are sure of it, but the effect is lost on you. He sounds more lost than anything.

“But I do,” you respond. “Who are you to tell me I don’t?”

“Don’t,” he says. “Stop it. This instant.”

You laugh incredulously. “Do you think it’s that easy? I wouldn’t feel like this in the first place if it was.”

“Why?” he says. He’s still pacing. It’s like watching a tiger in a zoo. You want to study him, but he demands your attention in a different way. “Y/N. Why me? Why at all?”

“The reasons don’t matter, do they? I can tell you, but they won’t change anything,” you say, shrugging. “If you find yourself in the kitchen, bring water back for me. I’m thirsty.”

“Drink mine,” he says, pointing at the cup you had narrowly saved from disaster. “And quit your avoidance. Tell it to me plainly. Why?”

“Because you are you,” you say once you have drained half of his glass and your tongue is not quite as papery. “It’s a series of things; there’s not just one concrete reason. You hate roses and only drink black coffee. My mother thinks you’re handsome and my father is convinced you’re a golfing genius. You are a dog but also a peacock and then again an emperor. Don’t ask ridiculous questions and expect me to answer them when I cannot.”

“I’ll hurt you,” he says. “I’ll hurt you, Y/N, and I don’t — I don’t want to. You’re the only one who I don’t want to hurt, so just give up. It’s for the better if you do.”

“You won’t,” you say. “I don’t think you can.”

“Of course I can,” he says. “It’s the one thing I’m capable of. The only way I know how to love someone is by hurting them. I’ll do the same to you if you let me, and if you’re telling the truth, then you will let me.”

“Because I love you?” you say. “You think I’ll let you hurt me because I love you? For shame, Michael. I thought you knew me better than that.”

“Please,” he says. It’s a word he’s never said, not to you and not in his life. Its weight hangs before you, pulsating in the air like it’s tangible. “If I love you, I’ll destroy you. And then you’ll leave, and it’ll destroy me.”

It’s a selfless desire that he’s disguising as a selfish one. You’re good at pretending, but you’re not good at telling when others are. That much is obvious, because if you had any talent at the latter then you would’ve seen that he’s loved you for as long as you have loved him, maybe longer. He loves you and so he’s urging you to flee, to destroy him before he can do it to you first.

“Damned if I do and damned if I don’t, huh?” you say, exhaling and finishing off the rest of his water. “Listen to me.”

“No,” he says. His obstinance is endearing, but you throw a pillow at him instead of cooing like you want to. He catches it and tosses it back. It lands beside you with a thump. You pat it for emphasis.

“Yes,” you say. “I love you.”

He plugs his ears with his fingers. “Nope.”

“I love you, I love you — hey, I know you can hear me!” you say.

“La la la,” he shouts over your voice, sticking his tongue out petulantly. “I can’t hear you, I can’t hear you!”

“You’re cruel,” you say. “I won’t deny it. I know who you really are, Michael Kaiser. You possess cruelty in spades, but it’s in the way that a rose does. You have grown malice like thorns so that no one may come near your heart, and you think these thorns will tear me apart when I extend my hand past them. What you aren’t accounting for is that I have done so already. I have reached your heart and still I am intact. Now, what is there to cause me harm — a mere flower? But a flower can’t cause anyone harm, least of all a person such as myself. You can’t, or more importantly you won’t. I believe that you won’t.”

He stares at you. The soccer team in the documentary still playing behind him scores, and the crowd roars in approval. You stare back at him and wait.

“I hate roses,” he finally says. “I hate them a lot. They’re the worst kind of flower.”

“I don’t know about that,” you say. “I quite fancy them.”

“They prick your fingers,” he says.

“Not if you are gentle,” you say. “Not if you understand them.”

He buries his face in his hands. “Go home, Y/N.”

You do as you are told, flagging a taxi and shivering while you wait for it. You wish for things to be different, but the amount of unfulfilled wishes you’ve made outnumber the stars in the sky, so you add this one to the list and vow to move on.

You have no desire to leave your bed the next morning, but you are also hungry, and your hunger wins out over your despair. You muster up the energy to roll out of your sheets and trudge downstairs, but you are miserable as you do so. You are utterly miserable, and the fact that you are only worsens the feeling, trapping you in an endless kind of loop.

When you enter your kitchen, you are surprised to see a pot of flowers sitting innocently on your counter. You didn’t put them there, so you should feel afraid, but they’re roses, and they’re the same arresting shade as the sky, so you don’t. You only grin, slowly and then all at once as you begin to giggle helplessly.

There isn’t a card or an explanation provided, but you don’t need either. You already know who they are from.

#kaiser x reader #kaiser x y/n #kaiser x you #michael kaiser #bllk x reader #bllk #blue lock #reader insert #fake dating #m1ckeyb3rry milestone #m1ckeyb3rry writes

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henneseyhoe · 1 year

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My Big Three As Boyfriends|

Trevante♡

You wanna have the perfect balance of a country boy and a city boy rolled into one? He’s the man for you!

His love feels like coming into a warm house after shoveling snow.

The first time you two ever kissed, my lady by Tyrese played in the background and since then ‘my lady’ with a brown heart has been your contact name.

He’ll sing any song you ask him to even though his ass can barely hold a tune in all seriousness.

Uncovering your ears, you start laughing. “Yes, sounds just like how Tyrese sung it” He smiles and takes a bow.

You try not to be the clingiest since he loves his space sometimes, but he definitely has his moments where he needs you near him like some kind of support teddy.

Hates when you all up on him when it’s time to sleep but always ends up damn near on top of you by the morning.

“Move, Bae, it’s hot” he groans. 8 hours later. “Tre…Trevante…baby, you crushin’ me!” You huff, trying to push his arm and leg off of you so you could go pee.

He’ll blame you as if your little ass can move him from one side of the bed to the other.

Expect booty slaps every time you walk by, and don’t let him be upset with you prior, cause it’ll be harder this time.

“Tight ass shorts” he’d say as you walked around the house as free as you wanted in the Nike shorts HE bought you.

Often play fighting and roughhousing until he accidentally hits you too hard and has to be soft with you for the rest of the day.

“Awwnnn, cmere, I didn’t think it was gonna land that hard” he holds you as you pout, rubbing your now sore arm. “That actually hurt, Tre. Like seriously 🥺”

He makes fun of the Erotic books you read, but you caught him peaking over your shoulder once and following along with one of your favorite stories.

“Don’t get too hype, I peeped something and the shit was interesting!”

Has a habit of putting his hand up your shirt when you two are cuddling.

He hates when you leave for work because he works mornings and you work nights. Sometimes on his day offs(though a bad idea) he’d stay up at night and bother you on the phone all throughout your work, dropping hints that you needed to come home on your snack break for a real meal.

-you’d brush him off and sneak off to the bathroom, sending him a titty pic to hold him off till you got home.

-‘oh wow. I just might take a trip instead actually’

-He’s definitely already taken trips up there a few times to get you right, as he should.

Michael♡

A REAL certified loverboy

If you told him to jump, he’d ask how high.

He would never admit it but he is CLINGY. He wants to be with you and all up under you as soon as those paparazzi cameras turn off.

Also certified double texter.

‘babe’ ‘Y/N’ ‘Y/N’ ‘Y/N’ ‘babe’

‘don’t act like you don’t see these texts’

‘WHAT boy’

‘I miss you’ ‘wyd my love’

‘working. Something you should be busy doin’

‘I finished already’

‘Fast reader you are. Here’s a gold star⭐️’

‘What can I say? You’re engaged to a smart man’

‘Engaged?’

Boo🩷 has unsent a message.

‘Forget you read that till further notice’

The man can’t hold water, as you can see. Which is why you don’t tell him anything that’s meant to be a secret.

He literally can’t sleep without your leg thrown over him some kind of way.

He remembers all the cute little shit you like year around so he already has a laid out plan of gifts for Birthdays, Valentines, and Christmas.

A good bit of his camera roll is just you and screenshots of things he wants to keep tabs of.

Can’t organize for shit and that’s exactly why his phone storage is about to explode

Begged you to organize his work stuff, so you agreed, until you saw NOTHING was put where it’s supposed to go.

“how do you work like this?!”

“I honestly don’t know…I- I do not know” he responds, staring at the unorganized files.

“Your assistant doesn’t take care of this stuff?”

“I don’t like to bother her like that”

“Nigga, she’s an assistant, she’s supposed to be bothered!”

Thursdays were self care days for you two. Wether you were just sitting around and watching a movie or doing actual things to improve the body, it was still self care to y’all.

Both of you are foodies, but he’s more adventurous, so he always tries to get you to try new foods when out together.

“would you ever try live squid?” He asks, looking through the menu the restaurant provided for them. “Uhh..I dunno. I don’t think I’d like it, but I’d probably try. Just have to ignore the memory of that story of that man who ate a live squid and it killed him and crawled back up his throat” he stares at you for a moment then looks back down at his menu. “Never mind then…”

Soooo protective of you and thinks you don’t stand up for yourself enough so he always makes sure you’re heard in any and all conversations.

Takes any chance to show you off. Was it cause he genuinely loved you or was it cause he liked showing niggas what they’ll never have? Both actually.

“Oh, and y’all know my girl, right? My beautiful, wonderful girlfriend” he grabs you by the hand, and kisses the top of it, pulling your attention away from your drink. You smile and look away, feeling extra appreciated.

Gentlemen in the streets, freak nasty in the sheets.

You ever came so hard that it took a few seconds for your vision to come back? Yeah.

Yahya♡

The dynamic between the both of you is just very unserious. He is truly your bestfriend who also happens to be your boyfriend

It’s hard to get anything done when the both of you are constantly cracking jokes back and forth, a con of having the same job.

“Yahya, please, my stomach hurts!” you spoke in between laughs, tears prickling the both of y’all’s eyes as you tried to make it through a SINGULAR business email. “How the fuck do you misspell so much shit on a business email?!” He howled, wiping tears from his face and slouching in his seat, you still crying.

He blames you for when he doesn’t get much work done, but he knows damn well it’s his fault for being the goofy mf he is.

When you two were just friends, your mutual friends would tease him by calling him “boy Y/N” because you both had so much in common.

He’s your reminder to eat like a normal person

“What’d you eat today?” Yahya questions, reading over his weekly to-do list. You glare at him then look back at your computer, not answering because you didn’t wanna hear his mouth about you forgetting to eat. Sighing, he gets up and heads into the kitchen to make you something quick.

At first the relationship felt like you two were still just friends, but you both grew into being a little more intimate with each other.

You both can’t help but create small(but healthy) competitions. You were both a little more competitive than you’d like to admit, but you both had competitions so often that basically everyone you guys hung out with knew of them.

“Damn” You sigh as you watched your paper ball miss the trash basket. “Hm” Yahya hums and gets up, picking the paper ball up. Instead of throwing it away right then, he went back to his seat that was a bit farther back and took a shot, the paper effortlessly making it in the basket. You look back at him with a squint and he smirks. “Okay, bet” you whisper.

Ten minutes had gone by and you both were throwing balled up paper that you needed in the trash. To make what point? Neither of you knew, but you both were entertained.

Theres a box in his closet with Polaroid pictures of you two throughout the five years of dating each other, most taken by Yahya himself because in his words, “I just love looking at you. Pictures don’t even capture all that I see, but damn, baby”

The man could easily make you melt like some chocolate. He was just as smooth as he was when you first met him.

Once you both got more into the relationship, he was honestly the most romantic and caring person ever. He’d do anything to make you feel those butterflies.

Sent you on a corny little riddle game for Valentine’s Day once which lead you to some of your favorite places around the city until the last clue brought you home to three bouquets of your favorite flowers and a ring the size of your brown eyes.

Alexa, play whatever you want by Tony! Toni! Toné!

Some niggas don’t trick, but Yahya? Oh he’s gonna step. In the end, if you’re happy, he’s happy.

The night ended with something else a little more eventful that had the neighbors thinking to call the cops for the third time that month.

He plans on staying with you for the rest of his life, and made that know.

And he’s determined to put a baby in you one of these days, with or without that damn ring.

✮✮✮✮

Looks and bias aside, who would y’all pick as a boyfriend? 🫣 I think I’d pick Yahya 😭

#black fanfic writer #black fanfiction #black!reader #masterlist #black actors #black reader #black!fem!reader #black!oc #smut masterlist #trevante rhodes #trevante rhodes x reader #michael b jordan #michael b jordan x reader #yahya abdul mateen ii #yahya abdul mateen ii x reader #blurb #henneseyhoe

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smahell · 1 month

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is there a villain in obey me?

yes. according to this simple search, diavolo is the antagonist we should fear. and date. and collect cards of. for some reason.

this was sent in a discord server I was in as a very very obvious joke (hopefully) and this result is surely ai generated, or google's done a whoopsie-doodle and taken something off of reddit.

yes, diavolo can assert himself as an antagonistic force, but all of his actions are always within logical reason. though it may be against the wishes of the brothers and MC, he always does what is right for the devildom, whether that may be putting lucifer on house arrest, or locking belphegor away from his brothers.

diavolo is literally just trying his best, and he's been doing that since his father basically dumped the responsibility of a whole realm on his shoulders and abandoned him to sleep at the bottom of the devildom. his past is genuinely so sad.

so, who's the villain in obey me????

you could certainly say it's belphie.. but you can also date him. belphie changes through our the story, and as of right now, he holds nothing against humans and anyone in general. though it was a short span of time, he has gained the (somewhat undeserving) forgiveness of everyone around him after trying to kill MC.

like yes, michael, but it's very obvious with him disguising himself as raphael, going against god's will, and even his manipulation of the brothers that he wants the brothers back, and still sees them as family. even if that may not be reciprocated.

you could say father. but in a sense, lilith broke the rules, and so did the brothers. they all needed to be punished accordingly. and the brothers still refer to him as "father" and not by any other name. they don't hate him as of now.

they feel sympathy. an attachment. a connection.

in the og where michael was mentioned once or twice, the fandom was quick to assign him as The Bad Guy™, but getting to know him through nb, he really is just like all the other characters in terms of role. and throughout nb michael is doted on fondly by the brothers. it's that sort of difficult familial love estranged families can relate to.

are these good decisions? no

but he's not a villain.

if you lost the loving family and friends you knew, and you had the power to get them back through such unconventional means... michael is just using the powers he was given.

"so then.. maddie's the bad guy." okay grandpa, let's get you back to your wheelchair..

she's barely even mentioned for starters, and from what I've heard, she's not even been mentioned in nb. all she's done is made mammon cry at some point, and tried to marry diavolo. she might be a shitty person, yes, but she's never even involved enough to make out lives, or even all the brothers's lives a living nightmare. she's a very minor nuisance, at most.

all the characters do something antagonistic. every single one of them. if there was a villain it would discredit the fact that the game isn't about heroes and villains and morality, but about people. and that's what makes obey me so good. and if there was (a villain), the story would've ended by now, long before the franchise's fifth anniversary. ****

every character is morally grey, and the fact that it leaves it up to the player to annotate what is good and bad makes the whole experience more immersive and personal than ever. however, it speaks volumes concerning a lack of media comprehension that anyone would try to assign a villain to obey me.

obey me is about dating silly demon boys, and watching people live, whether that be in peace and harmony, or in tense, on-the-brink-of-destruction moments. the story has no need of a true antagonist, when we have well developed and wide range of characters gets that impact the story no matter what. enjoy the game, hate or love the characters.. whether they're antagonists or not, just have fun.

****(because the devs weren't very good at writing the first game.. so I doubt they could've had the support to have written a second one)

[edit: this was brainstormed between @prettylittlelambs and i on discord :3 thank you for sort of inspiring me and going me come up with more ideas]

#shitpost taken seriously #smahell talks #obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me nightbringer #obey me!#おべいみー #obey me diavolo #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me fandom #obey me michael #NB: hhhnnnnnn

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andrea-lyn · 3 months

Text

Roswell New Mexico - Master Fic Rec Post

See under the cut for thirty-four total recs, predominantly Malex. There's also 10 additional in the "Recs Less Travelled" project here.

a few drinks and some conversation by @christchex

Michael Guerin makes a friend who isn’t his sibling, an ex, or a sibling’s ex.

Astriferous Sea by hrhbrittany, Sismyn

Alex has always been the baby among the sirens in the Dead Sea. Michael is performing beard services for his sister. Communication is a little wishy-washy.

This AU came out of nowhere and smacked me right with the ‘I’ve always wanted this and I just never knew’. It has sirens and rescues and bad guys and false relationships and real marriages and rings and drama and romance. It honestly reminds me (in the best way) of an exciting romance novel and I’m so jazzed there’s still one part left to it.

The Bachelor by Sweetgirl2019

After the events of high school, Michael, Isobel & Max moved to California while Liz, Maria & Kyle stayed in Roswell and Alex went to war overseas. Once his enlistment period ends, Alex gets thrown into something that brings him and Michael back together again.

So I think this might be my favourite to see updated right now. It should be a run-of-the-mill fluffy AU, yet the author threw this incredible curveball by using the alien background in a canon divergence to turn The Bachelor into both a romantic dramedy for the boys, but also keeping the looming threat of people finding out about aliens in the background. Also, I think this is top tier pining that you will actively feel in your own chest, that’s how good it is.

blink back to let me know by haloud - Roswell New Mexico

Alex doesn’t have important conversations over the phone when he can avoid them. It feels too much like going in blind. But in some ways, the phone makes it easier–it’s easier to break when no one’s looking.

It’s Mylex and the 5th in a series, and every part is worth reading, but I definitely re-read parts 4 and 5 a lot. It’s so well written and the dynamic is mwah and I love how Kyle fits into this. One of my favourite pieces in this is how Kyle reacts to his father in relation to Michael & Caulfield and it’s an amazing read.

built this house on memories by @villanellve

He wakes up eight years in the future, and everything is strange, but Alex is there.

YOU GUYS. If you were to write a list of tropes I adore, this would be way up there at the top because of how much I love it. I am a sucker for a character having to be removed from their situation to learn (whether it’s an alternate universe or the future or the past), but this one is so achingly painful and perfect and hopeful. I love the callout that the situation is almost too hard for Alex, I love the resolution at the end on Michael’s part, and you could just soak in the happiness and comfort of their future lives if you let yourself.

Can’t Get No by one_flying_ace

“They’re on round two already,” he says, tilting his head towards the truck again, “or maybe three.” Guerin grimaces, and that’s fair; it’s his brother, after all. “You know how they’re feeling. Could I handle it, if you stopped-” being in control, he doesn’t say, but Guerin shudders. “I’m good, Alex. Just keep the hell away.” (Or: alien sex rocks don’t make them do it, but they sure do help.)

Sex pollen/sex-or-die fics are pretty much a requirement, but this is my absolute favourite and I have re-read it more times than I can tell you (let’s put it at six or seven?) The restraint that Michael has in this is amazing, but the mental images of it are incredible as well. I loved Max and Liz’s secondary presence as well and how each character was tonally perfect down to the little things (like Max not noticing Michael’s sex marks). What a good. What a hot. What amazing.

Constant as the Northern Star by celzmccelz

Michael stares at Kyle. “But I’m a guy! How can I be pregnant?” Kyle looks embarrassed. “Well, you appear to have a fully functioning set of female reproductive organs—or, I mean, like, the kind of reproductive organs that are associated with a double X-chromosome in humans, so I’d assume that you probably became pregnant when semen was introduced into your reproductive tract—” “Jesus Christ, Kyle!” says Michael. He could have happily lived the rest of his life without ever hearing Kyle Valenti say the words “semen” and “reproductive tract.” Kyle’s eyes widen. “Have you been having unprotected sex?” “Oh my God, I am not having this conversation with you!”

Yes, going in, there are some warnings to be cognizant of. It’s mpreg, there’s a lot of medical stuff to go through, but I think this is my absolute favourite of the mpregs I’ve read and it actually comes down to Michael’s support system outside of Alex, namely in Kyle. There’s no sudden BFF bracelets being given, but that morality that makes Kyle Valenti who he is, that’s right there. Also, given that this is an mpreg fic, it delves into family and plot in a way that I haven’t often seen. Plus, you get the ‘getting back together’ Malex that I so deeply crave.

Contigo me encontré by beautifulcheat (Katalyst), ladynox

The Lockhart House was once a home, although it was never a happy one. Steeped in tragedy, it still stands today, in the heart of Old Town Roswell, attracting ghost hunters and those seeking to catch a peak of something from beyond the veil.

Contrary to popular myth, it wasn’t currently haunted (except by one paranormally talented docent). It was Michael’s favorite job and the best part of his summer home from UNM. Or at least was until Alex Manes was hired to man the gift shop, complicating an otherwise fun and easy job.

everywhere on earth you go - @evepolastried

Across the room, he can still see how Michael Guerin is looking at him. And that’s something different, something new, something so very familiar. The thrill of nerves, of guilt, of want. Alex smiles, and he starts to sing. (OR: Alex Manes grabs his guitar and gets the hell out of Roswell in 2008, and he leaves behind a letter. Here’s what happens ten years later)

I love this. This one has something incredible, and it’s something I called out, but it has this amazing work with pace. There’s a frantic moment at the bar and it’s chaos, and you feel it. It’s rushed and wild and crazy, but then everything slows down and it gets perfect. There’s Michael, there’s Alex, there’s music, and it’s such a great ride.

Family Matters by @bestillmyslashyheart

Isobel is telepathic. Most of the time she ignores it. She used to pick up on other’s people’s emotions but she’s long since learned to tune that out. Until one night she can’t. Someone, somewhere is in such a state that it’s spilling over and she’s left to deal with the brunt of it. Or, Michael keeps things close to the vest until he can’t. The night after Alex leaves him at the drive-in, everything he’s feeling bubbles up inside until it spills over onto Isobel. Suddenly he’s left with no other choice but to open up.

This is an early fandom piece, but I still think it’s held up to an immensely amazing rate. Not only that, but I love how it delves into powers, Michael and Isobel’s relationship, and the incredible idea of spillover, which I still actively wish would become canon because of this fic. I think it’s so IC, especially with Michael’s active wish not to talk about it that he screws himself over in his sleep and seriously, it’s such a good read for both Isobel & Michael stuff, but also Michael & Alex.

the first who ever did - nostaljinks

Five times Michael saves Alex + 1 time Alex saves Michael back.

I feel like there aren’t enough words that I can heap onto this of praise. This fic is well-written, well-plotted, well-thought out, well-everything. It’s a beautiful emotional roller coaster and will make you ACHE, but in a great way. It also is the right amount of long that you want more, but you also get it, and it’s just as quality as the rest. ABSOLUTE must read.

fish bowl by @sabrinachill

Alex makes a series of phone calls and bad choices that lead him directly here — an Airstream on the edge of a junkyard with a distractingly attractive mechanic showing him how the dining table converts into a bed that he can sleep on for just $75 a week. It is, of course, completely absurd. But there’s something cozy about the fuzzy yellow blanket on the bed/table and the sparkling sunlight streaming through the mostly-clean windows, in the smell of leather and motor oil and aftershave and summer storms, in the hopeful half-smile on Michael’s face. That’s his name — Michael. Alex’s potential new roommate and landlord. (AKA An AU About Quarantined Roommates Who Fall in Love)

I highly recommend anything by @sabrinachill, but this fic is a really clear argument about why. It’s an AU that involves quarantine, and you might think ‘oh, I’ve read that before’, but then it will take you down the unexpected road that you didn’t expect to go down, but as soon as you take that twist, you instantly realize how much better it is that way. Hats off to the clever plotting not just in Fish Bowl, but other fics!

Funny How Things Never Change - @waroftheposes

“What can I do for you?” Michael asks, turning to face Alex. Alex can tell the moment that Michael’s mind registers who he’s addressing, because the polite smile drops from his face and the hat falls from his hand. He stands there, eyes wide and unbelieving, looking at Alex. Alex takes a deep breath, willing his racing heart to settle. “Well,” he begins and is his voice shaking? “For starters you can get your stubborn ass over here and give me a divorce.” – (A Sweet Home Alabama AU)

Yooooo, guess who was bereft when she thought she lost this link. It was absolutely me. This AU makes me happy in so many ways, especially the storms in the desert motif that keeps coming back around, and also that it’s messy. I like that it’s not cut and dry, that it goes right up until the wedding, and that it takes some real talk for them to get back together. I love fics where they all get to be human and this one is just so good.

I Know Nothing Stays The Same by aewriting

“Alex doesn’t believe in miracles until one happens to him. His father has a hammer in one hand and Alex’s throat in the other. As Alex’s consciousness fades, he’s dimly aware of movement. His father’s about to swing the hammer, and this is how Alex will die.” When an unexplainable force puts a stop to Jesse’s attack in the shed, Alex and Michael are forced to go on the run. Leaving Roswell is an easy decision, but navigating the consequences of that choice months and even years later proves to be much more complicated.

I think this one became a must read very early on, but then it’s continued to deliver. There’s been a few stories that delve into the characters getting therapy, but there’s a whole chapter here where it genuinely feels cathartic as we go through the process with Alex. This fic also is an excellent and long version of an AU I think that we’ve all wondered, about what would happen if they ran away, and it’s so well written and so real that I know I will be re-reading this a ton. Like many of the others, why I love it is because it’s not perfection, but it’s the kind of real where I want to wrap myself up in it.

i won’t go, i can’t do it on my own by @queersirius

alex tries to let go by giving back the pieces of michael he’s kept

Millie has a bunch of AMAZING AUs (guys, the 10 Things I Hate About You is something I never thought I’d get, especially from a favourite author), but i think this one is actually my favourite, especially when it comes to the ship piece that Alex has. Again, when I talk about ‘fics that make me want to be better’, this one was one. The writing is engaging, the characterization is fabulous, and the emotions are so honest and real. Then there’s this line, like a gut punch: “Because it’s the last thing I have of you,” he admits. “The last piece of you I have to let go of.” which I love because it’s still Alex’s journey, an honest attempt to offer closure (if closure is wanted).

in some other life - @spaceskam

michael tries to build a time machine, but ends up in a different reality all together

There are a lot of these that have been written and they are all quality, but I love this one especially because of how we get into Alex in the other universe, get the glimpse of this unknown Michael, but also the scene that strikes this one out for me is that Alex doesn’t want to let him go. I love that Alex gets to be selfish, that he begs for him to stay, and that we don’t get the automatic happy ending in that, but there’s still the hope for it. Also, Alex the Angel, unf.

intimate encounters of the third kind by @alexmanes

Three years after Antar and its people take Earth under their wings, Roswell becomes the epicenter for human-alien relations between both planets. It doesn’t take very long for Alex Manes to find himself embroiled in a scandal that threatens this intergalactic partnership, all thanks to a beautiful man named Michael Guerin who is not nearly as human as he claims to be.

Okay, so, if you like No Love Like Your Love, the truth is that you have this fic to thank. This was my first introduction in RNM fandom as to what a really amazing fic could be that incorporated the royalty elements into the pairing. Once 1x12 aired and we met Michael’s mother, it was pretty much a done deal that I wanted to do something that played with that, but this is the actual inspiration. It’s well plotted, it has a great ensemble cast, and plays with the kind of care that it takes to know your plot inside and out, but also to leave breadcrumbs that guide the reader along. It’s very methodical in the sense that nothing is by accident and it has you on the edge of your seat.

It’s a long road back to you by @magsthemagical

Michael finds out that Alex is dating Forrest and he’s okay with it, until he’s not. Maria suggests a double date to show they can all hang out as friends. But they can’t… not really. [OR the one where Michael & Alex realize that they belong together and so they say goodbye to their respective relationships and start anew]

Honest truth time - in terms of ‘ships, while I always love people to ship and let ship, my personal preference for both Michael and Alex is one another, so both Maria/Michael and Forrest/Alex aren’t things that I usually seek out when trawling Ao3. This fic is so good to all parties involved. No one is a villain and I appreciate that they get to talk about things like Alex’s reticence to do certain things in public, but also being aware that Alex deserves to have something new as much as Michael.

Last Stop: This Town by @ubiestcaelum

Someone asked what it would have been like if Michael had gone home with the Evan’s and I couldn’t let it go.

Am I cheating because I requested this? idk, maybe, because another one I requested will end up here too. I am addicted to the idea of Michael getting the support system he needs, but THIS FIC takes it to the most impossibly amazing level and fleshes out the Evans parents in such an incredible way. I love that it’s not super sunshine and rainbows, but it’s an honest telling of raising kids (and maybe too many kids versus what you expected). I know this is only in progress (several today will be), but even as it is, it’s worth reading multiple times, because I know I have.

let me count the ways by @queersirius

liz ortecho isn’t allowed to date until her snarky, determined-not-to-date brother, alex ortecho, does. luckily, one of her suitors has a plan. well, max goes to isobel for a plan, which involves getting their brother, michael, to woo alex. or, the 10 things i hate about you AU

Obviously this needs to be here as I desperately pleaded for it to exist, but it’s so beyond what it might be as a mini tumblr ficlet and has become a whole world. It’s not just a great Malex story, it’s an amazing story for all the characters and really fleshes out a world, but weaves in the RNM characters perfectly, but also gives me a dynamic I want more of, in Alex being an Ortecho. It’s not quite finished yet, but Millie has never steered us wrong and I can’t wait for more.

Loathly by @aewriting

When King Manes and his sons are caught illegally hunting on Antarian lands, King Noah gives King Manes a choice - correctly answer a riddle or accept death. A year-long search for the correct answer ensues, leading the youngest son of the king, Alex, to strike a bargain with a mysterious woman who claims to know the answer. This is an AU of the Arthurian legend “Sir Gawain and the Dame Ragnell.”

Love at First Sass - @daffietjuh

Taking a class of 30 high school kids on a school trip to an Air Force base was about as exhausting as it sounds, luckily, the Captain giving them the tour is perfectly capable of handling a group of rowdy teenagers. Michael may be slightly in love Okay, so first of all, if you haven’t read any of the author’s other work, you should. The AUs are fantastic and the hockey one is still one of my favourites ever, but this one also just was exactly what I needed. It was sexy and flirty and fun, but also fit their personalities perfectly!

Everything in the Michael Sanders AU, by prouvaireafterdark which is a fantastic series that gives us what we all wanted, which is Walt Sanders giving Michael the home he deserved (and getting one right back).

My love is a life taker by @jocarthage

By the time he turned 15, Captain Alex Manes had been to every war zone and unofficial conflict the United States of America was involved in. It wasn’t regular practice, or even heard of, for a Colonel to bring his son along on combat missions; the exception was if the child had been identified as Time Aware, able to travel in time along their own timeline using stolen alien technology. So here Alex Manes was, 28, and ducking bombs, killing who he’s told to. On his way back from a mission, Alex slips into another timestream. It should be impossible. But he can hear a child crying and he heads towards the sound. This is the story of how Alex saved Michael and Michael saved Alex, with lots of time travel shenanigans and angst.

This story is incredible for so many reasons and one of them I continue to praise is the balance. It’s an Alex driven story, but you can break his life down into friends, mission, family, and Michael, and often those elements combine, but there’s never any update that doesn’t give you enough (imo). It’s excellent writing with engaging OCs and wonderful plot, and the most incredible love story.

not in this world (or the next) by @hannah-writes

It isn’t until he realises he can’t find the keys for his fucking truck anywhere and that there’s mail on the table addressed to Mr M Evans that Noah called him ‘Evans’, too. He fumbles inside the wallet that he’d managed to locate and pulls out a New Mexico licence with his picture on it; he doesn’t have a black eye and a split lip in this one, his hair’s tamed and he doesn’t look like he’s gone three days without showering. His date of birth is stamped, clear and correct, but then where his name should read ‘Michael Guerin’, it reads “Michael Evans’ and the address registered on the license is that of Max and Isobel’s childhood home. Noah had also said ‘your mom’s’. Not ‘Mrs Evans’. It feels like a bucket of ice water’s dumped over his head as he finally accepts that something is very, very wrong. (aka, the fic spawned from a tumblr prompt about Michael waking up in a parallel reality.)

This one, guys. This is an absolute beast of angst and love and a really well plotted story, but also is really amazing for how it creates Mikey, but also creates motive behind what drives both Michael and Mikey in ways that are the same, but also different. Genuinely, this fic is a great read because you get so much attention to the characters while also driving along the relationships, and who they are.

nursery sharks by christchex

Six firsts in the Sanders household and a second.

Otherwise Engaged by JustAsSweet

Alex Manes was perfectly happy with his job at Colden Records but when his visa is rejected and deportation looms, marrying his assistant Michael Evans is his only option. And when they make a trip to Alaska to see Michael’s family, everything becomes a lot more complicated.

AKA: The Proposal AU that no one asked for but I wrote anyway.

Shadow Work - @myrmidryad

After his discharge from the Air Force, Alex Manes is working as a shade - a professional ghost hunter - when Michael Guerin tracks him down. Alex left Roswell thirteen years ago and never went back, but overnight Michael’s family has vanished and the supernatural activity in Roswell has exploded, and he wants Alex’s help. Featuring: ghosts, more ghosts, metaphorical ghosts, and a lot of sex without talking about feelings. Also missing family members, government conspiracies, and gratuitous worldbuilding.

No, YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND. I can’t rec this enough. Literally, this is a novel-type rec. If this were a book on a shelf, I would be shouting that you need to go read it, because it is literally good enough to be a published work on a best-selling list. It’s so fucking good. Every time you think it can’t get better, it does. It has nuance and plot and world-building and it is So. Fucking. Good. I could sit here and sing praises all day and it still wouldn’t be enough. Please give yourself a holiday treat and read it.

The World Forgetting, By The World Forgot by Anonymous

Michael and Alex erase each other from their memories. It does not go according to plan. [Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Roswell style]

I mean, I could rec anything by Anonymous and it would be worth your read. They’re so good and so in character, but this one is my favourite. It’s angsty as fuck, don’t get me wrong, but it plays with the movie plot in such a Roswell-specific way that makes sense that I honestly never even compared or contrasted it to the movie past the first few beats. The pain is visceral, and the memory loss segment is incredible, but also delivers on a positive ending.

To Trust Love by @laughsalot3412

The prisoner’s voice sounded like home. He could have been raised in Roswell, the way his accent stretched his vowels. He definitely hadn’t been. Alex would have remembered eyes like those. (AU where Alex Manes goes on an undercover rescue mission in Caulfield Prison and forms a bond with one of the prisoners in the process.)

I don’t have enough words in the English language to praise this one. Honestly, I don’t. For one, the pace and the length is perfect. That we got the parts as quickly as we did was honestly such a treat, but then every part was just as high quality as the last. There are chapters in this one that made me go, “holy shit, this would’ve been a novel I read”, and then there are little emotional impacts where the tone shifts, but it works so well. It’s SO HOT, and the AU is so perfect, and also helped inspire the one that I wrote last night with the “genie”.

Unwind Me - delgay

“Think you can manage that? Sitting next to me, without picking a fight?” Michael challenged. “Can you?” Alex returned. “No idea,” Michael admitted with a sideways grin that never failed to make Alex’s stomach turn over, “But I’m eager to find out.” Alex is avoiding everyone, but he can’t seem to escape Michael.

This whole fic is intensely amazing, but it got on my rec list for the absolutely electric scene with the dancing that was absolutely beyond incredible. You also get Michael courting Alex, which is something he utterly deserves and I love the way Michael goes about it.

we feel so american by thepredatorywasp

“Papa’s on the spaceship again?” River asks, his bright green eyes welling with tears and his face growing red. “Comin’ back?” “Of course he is,” Alex says, smoothing down the son’s hair and adjusting the Mickey ears atop his head. “Always.” There is no easy way to explain to your three year-old that not only is he an alien, but his Papa is an alien and that apparently, Michael loves leaning hard into irony because he has gone on Space Mountain approximately ten times over the course of four days.

LOOK. I LOVE A SWEET KID FIC. The next rec will prove this, but this one will melt your fucking heart. I love it because it’s not perfect and easy. There’s difficulties, there are issues, but it’s Michael and Alex and their baby boy in Disney and if you do not come away feeling warmer from this, then I just don’t know.

We’re Waking Up Slow by myrmyriad

“I think need a little time to process all of this. Um. Storm’s getting closer and I don’t really wanna get snowed in here, so…let’s just talk later, okay?” What if the storm that blew in during S01E10 came in a lot faster and heavier, and Alex was snowed in at the junkyard?

Again, fic that makes me wish that I could write as well as this. This one makes you feel it all. You’ll feel the cold, the wet, the storm, the pain, the hope, the healing. You feel the connection between Michael and Alex, and you’ll be left wishing at the end that this had been how canon went, but also that it’s justifiably not that far off from how it could have, had they taken a different tack, because of how well it’s written.

What’s Up, Pregnant? by Marie_L

Michael Guerin is broke, practically homeless, and a knocked up secret alien. What now?

Speaking of kid fics, this mpreg is one that I really like, because if nothing else, it introduced the concept of mpreg using pods to me in the fandom, and I kind of went, “YES, of course”. I love that it’s got everyone rallying, but I mostly love the psychic connection between Michael and his baby, and the softness of loving sugar and Alex.

With Love Overflowing by Nestra

"We both agree that this is not the place we belong, right? Please say yes."

Michael tossed his hat on the coffee table and dropped onto the couch. "If you mean that your dad's been dead since CrashCon and some kind of crazy shit is going on, then yeah, I agree."

(This one was for me for Secret Santa, it is just THAT GOOD that I want everyone in the world to read it)

x marks the spot (where we fell apart) by catching_paper_moons, preciousthings

“Don’t write it off,” Alex says, and Liz is so relieved someone is coming to her defense, even if it’s someone who already knew beforehand. “Liz and Kyle have ideas, and there are people in this room with literal superpowers. It’s pretty much our only option.” “Our only option?” Isobel scoffs. “What are we, Ocean’s Eleven?”

#malex #malex fic recs #roswell new mexico #roswell new mexico fic recs

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calumsargwife · 10 months

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'i told them about you.'

calum hood x fem!reader

summary: for the first time in a while, Calum tells his friends about you

warnings: bad language maybe, mentions of drinking or smoking. (English is not my first language so there may be some grammatical errors, sorry!)

word count: 1.9k

note: hey! i know this took a while but here it is! i hope you guys like it. question: do you think i should also write for other people? maybe characters from movies or smth. tell me your thoughts!

"So, how's this new girl going?" Luke asked with his second drink of the night in hand.

As they normally do, the boys had gotten together today to hang out, to see each other in another context other than work (as if they didn't see each other every day already).

They had dinner and were now having some drinks prepared by Ashton, who had 'accidentally' made the drinks a little stronger than normal.

"Yeah, you haven't told us anything about her." Michael added as he sat in one of the single chairs.

Calum sighed as he took a drag on his cigarette and sat down in the large armchair in the living room, trying to hold back a smile as he exhaled the smoke from his mouth.

"What's that smile for, uh?" Ashton teased and pinched Calum's arm, also with one drink on the other hand.

"Don't know..." Calum modestly answered.

"Aw, c'mon. Just tell us something!" Michael insisted.

"How long have you been dating already?" Luke questioned as he smiled mischievously at the other two boys.

Ok, the truth is, you two weren't dating, you were still just getting to know each other and the boys knew it, they just liked watching Calum get all red.

"Two months." Calum answered shortly as he diverted his gaze towards the large window, which gave the view of of the tall illuminated buildings; the suppressed smile on his lips made his cheeks hurt. He remembered that surely you would love to have one of these windows, you liked to have a great view of the entire city.

"And...?" Ashton pressed.

Calum took another drag of his cigarette, exhaled the smoke and sighed to give the long-awaited response to his friends. "Wrote a song about her."

There was a moment of silence as everyone processed what was said until Ashton spoke again. "There's no fucking way." He spoke in disbelief while he leaned his back on the chair in surprise.

"A song?" Michael asked you. "About this girl?" The boy turned his head to look at his friends with wide eyes. "You've never done anything like this so quickly."

They weren't wrong. Calum was normally one to have casual relationships, he said he was in a moment in which he couldn't focus on a completely exclusive relationship with so much commitment. I mean, he and the guys were at the peak of their career now, they were recording an album, doing a lot of interviews, maybe they were going on tour and... well, he just didn't have the time.

So it's obvious that his friends are confused. Calum was quite strict about the rule of not dating for a long time.

"What changed?" Luke asked, who was now analyzing his friend a little more.

"Her." Calum responded immediately without taking his eyes off the window. "She changed everything." He said now taking his eyes off the window and looking directly at the group. "She broke every rule that I could have ever set for myself."

Calum finished his cigarette and placed it in the ashtray on the living room table. "So, I wrote her a song."

"Damn."

"I know." Calum sentenced with a smile while he rubbed his hands and played with one of his rings, the one you gave him for his recent birthday. A birthday that the boys assumed had ended early because of you. "I just really like her, you know?" Calum raised his head to look at his friends. "I know it sounds crazy but..." he tried to explain himself.

"No, it's alright... I get it, really." Luke interrupted him. Calum quickly turned his eyes to him.

"Really?"

"Yeah, man." Luke answered with a smile and looked at his friend tenderly. "Maybe you're falling in love, who knows." He teased.

The boys laughed at the joke. Calum laughed lightly and looked out the window again, instantly thinking of you. Luke's joke resonated in his head, maybe it wasn't that crazy.

That night While Calum was telling the boys about you, that same night, they spent the night over together at Michael's and Calum was the first to wake up and leave. He didn't say anything but he was walking frantically around the house while he picked up his things and had breakfast with his friends, who were very relaxed sitting in their chairs while looking at Calum with an amused expression.

Once in his car, Calum began to reflect. He had to pick you up at your house in exactly twenty minutes to go have lunch together at his house.

He knew he had changed, he knew he was different and that things were different with you. And he didn't see it as a bad thing, really. Because for the first time, he was taking his time to do things the right way. He wanted to know you well before making things official, he wanted to know you deeply.

Calum was enjoying this little secret situation of getting to know each other. He liked that no one knows what's happening and that it is something that only he can witness. He was fascinated by the feeling of privacy and that no one could steal those moments, they were his and his alone. So, telling his friends about you was a big step for him.

Calum liked you a lot, so he couldn't contain his smile as he turned the corner of your house while simultaneously trying to remember that spice you like so much in salads, he wanted to have it mentally written down.

His smile widened when he saw you standing waiting at the door of your house. He got out of the car and came out to greet you with open arms.

"Hello there, beautiful." He greeted as he eagerly brought his lips to yours without waiting for any response from you.

You giggled before connecting your lips to Calum's. "Hey..." You received another kiss from him on your cheek. "I missed you."

"Me too." Calum had recently started to admit that he missed you when you weren't together. You couldn't deny that you liked the feeling of him missing you. It warms your heart a little every time he says it.

Calum at first was... complicated, to say the least. You really had a lot of patience and trust in the process because this guy wasn't easy. He was very closed to the idea of being in a relationship again or even trying to be in one. It took a while for him to really open up fully, you knew who he was before you started dating and Calum was careful about it. He thought that at first he couldn't trust you, but oh how wrong he was.

You were the most fantastic person Calum had met in recent years: completely honest and spontaneous, you were really patient with him, you never rushed him or pressured him into anything.

Maybe it sounds like you chased him around but the reality is that it was Calum who asked you out (as contradictory as it may sound) after having seen you several times in the same places as him, he developed a crush on you the moment he saw you.

So being here now, opening his car door for you to go to his house, makes it seem like everything was really worth it.

"Have you made any progress on that song you told me about?" You asked after the trip started, your hands intertwined, you felt Calum's finger lightly caress your hand. You definitely didn't know that Calum had written you a song.

Calum smiled to himself as you remembered what he told you, something he was excited about. "A little bit yes, we've been with the boys defining the chords a little so then moving on to polishing the lyrics a little more."

"Sounds fun." You answered him while with a sweet smile observing the panorama through the window.

Calum looked at your profile for a bit and sighed discreetly.

"And how are you doing with your thesis?" He asked you now. "Have you been able to find out anything else or...?"

You laughed a little before answering. "It's not a thesis, it's a research." You gave him a tender caress on the cheek when you saw that he didn't remember the difference. Calum did know the difference, he just likes to play dumb with you so he can see you explaining the same thing to him for the fifth time. "But it's going well, we changed the methodology so it's giving us better results."

The small, casual conversation continued throughout the remainder of the trip. Once they arrived, you didn't wait for Calum to open the door for you before rushing to his house, eager to see his little dog, Duke.

"Why do you seem more excited to see my dog than me?" He asked with an amused smile as he reached your side at the door.

"Because I am." You answered without looking him.

"Rude." Calum answered as he pretended to be offended.

You giggled and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. Once the door opened, Duke instantly jumped onto your lap. While you were busy greeting the dog, Calum went to the kitchen to start preparing lunch.

Minutes later you joined him and you began cooking a simple but delicious lunch: a classic pasta. Calum was fascinated, he'd never tell you but deep inside he was completely giggling and kicking his feet. Everything came so naturally to the two of you, nothing was forced and you functioned as if you had known each other your whole life.

After a while, the two were eating in Calum's dining room. You made casual small talk, mostly in silence as you enjoyed the food. Calum savored this moment and tried to imprint moments of this tranquility into his brain.

"You know..." He began as he took a sip of his drink. "The guys..."

"Your bandmates?" You finished his sentence.

He nodded. "I told them about you."

Now you were in shock.

He told his best friends?

He told them about you?

You did know that they knew Calum was seeing someone. But that he told them specifically about you.

Wow.

Now that was a big step. Especially for Calum. You knew how much his bandmates meant to him, how much he trusted them. You also knew how Calum hadn't been in anything serious with anyone for quite some time, so it was probably a surprise to them as well.

You swallowed nervously. "Oh really?"

"Yeah, and they were happy for me." He answered you with a sweet smile as he blushed a little and looked down at his plate.

"Well, I'm happy for you too." You told him with your most honest smile as you took his hand across the table and gave it a light caress.

"They want to meet you..." Calum told you, a little nervous that you would say no. "And I want you to meet them too, honestly."

"Seriously?" You tried to contain your surprise. It wasn't a secret that you were also a fan of the guys's music, so you felt the pressure.

Calum nodded with a smile and looked into your eyes again. You saw hope in them, he didn't want you to say no. "Then I would love to, it would be an honor, really."

Calum smiled happily and pulled your hand to pull you over to where he was sitting at the table. He smiled and sat you on his lap. "Thank you, it means the world to me." He told you with a genuine smile while with one hand he caressed your waist and his other hand cupped your face and brought you close for a sweet kiss.

As you shared that kiss, Calum couldn't help but feel a great emotion inside of him, for the first time in a long time, he had a good feeling about this.

#5sos blurb #5sos fic #5sos x reader #calum 5 seconds of summer #calum blurb #calum hood #calum hood fluff #calum hood x reader #calum hood x y/n #calum imagine

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lakesouperior · 11 months

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🐻🐤🐰🦊 just some thoughts on the fnaf movie

🐻the attention to detail that was put into it, with all it’s little details and easter eggs. the posters in the background, (and i haven’t seen anyone bring this up), the guy who got face-mauled by the cupcake wearing a midnight motorist t-shirt. the spring lock scene. the fact that scariest of all the jumpscares (of which there weren’t a lot but it’s kind of for the younger demographic ig they can’t make it too bad) was freaking balloon boy. the highest kill count going to MVP Carl the Cupcake. this is what i mean when i say movies from established franchises should be made by fans, for fans.

AND THE MATPAT CAMEO. HIS ACTING ISNT EVEN BAD AND EVEN IF IT WAS I EOULD STILL LOEV ITTT DVDNFB

🐤 you can tell they put a lot of thought into the child actors. abby is phenomenal. the five missing children? properly creepy and sad looking.

🐰 characters were all really well written and entertaining. the karen aunt, for all that she is an antagonist and very much hateable, still manages to be funny. even background characters are hilarious, like Doug for example, and don’t even get me started on the friggin matpat cameo i nearly screamed in the movie theater.

🦊 vanessa and mike are naturally each other’s narrative foils (and stand-ins for respectively Michael Afton/Elizabeth Afton (MichaElizabeth if you will) and Charlotte Emily imo), and them saying the same line, the “that’s two jobs”, mike at the beginning, and vanessa at the end, TO THE SAME CHARACTER?? TO THE BIG FUCKIN BAD HIMSELF??? WHO THEY BOTH HAVE DEEP HISTORY WITH???? literally this is good writing. i’m not saying the movie is perfect because it isn’t, but this is good writing.

🐻 and vanessa, as much as she kind of is, doesn’t feel like a coward because her worst fear does come true. her own father, the person who she thought the world of, tries to kill her as soon as she steps out of line. her fear wasn’t unjustified. she spent her entire life under his control — has literally never known anything else, and to still rebel after so long must’ve been the hardest, most terrifying thing in the world but she still did it because she’d grown to care for mike and abby.

and this is what i mean when i quote that one post: “strong female characters ≠ characters who are female and punch good, but strong female characters = well-written female characters” like yeah, vanessa’s an antagonist, or an anti-hero i suppose, but she’s still, once again, likeable and mysterious and funny. and the “bring her here again and i’ll fucking shoot you”?? that was probably her first act of true rebellion, aside from telling mike more than she should’ve about the pizzeria.

🐤 mikes arc is a very obvious “let go of the past and learn to cherish the present” which isn’t exactly revolutionary, but i think it’s done quite well though it could be improved a bit. and as much as you think he is an absolute cabbage head for telling them they could have abby for even a second, but you still, once again, get it.

our man’s running on like two hours of sleep and also meds, finally getting to see his baby brother up-close and even touch his face for the first time in probably more than a decade of blaming himself, and then getting told he could go back and see his parents again, the grief over who he probably hasn’t been able to process since he had to take care of abby when they died (possibly even took his own life in the father’s case if he’s supposed to be a henry stand-in like i think and doesn’t that just make it fifty times worse)

and it’s set up that he wants that perfect family back, the kind that he had during his childhood, that abby never got to experience.

and maybe he feels guilty for that. maybe he thinks, in his sleep-deprived and grief-ridden mind, for only a moment, that she would be better off, since she seems to like the animatronics and their ghost children better than him and he still feels like he doesn’t know how to raise a kid.

🐰 speaking of abby, for once Child Character in the horror movie isn’t just there to do some stupid shit for Plot Reasons (cough, The Curse of La Llorona, cough cough). i mean yes, she does go with them at the climax, but she has been given no reason not to trust them and considering the fact that they are other children, it would honestly be more suspicious if she didn’t trust them (also we’ve been shown she doesn’t really have friends before the end, so they’re also her first and only friends, no wonder she’s clinging to them) plus she’s been left alone with the aunt she does not like, possibly still believing mike is abandoning her. you get it.

she’s also very entertaining in her sassiness. like “are you here to arrest my brother?” or “yeah, love you too bro, kinda don’t wanna die tho, can we leave?” literally i can’t stand kids in general, but especially so in in horror movies, but i would give my life for abby.

🦊and the drawing thing? it’s beautiful and sad and really hammers home the fact that these monsters, however scary they have been made by their brutal and cruel deaths, they were, and are, just children who didn’t deserve to die and communicate the same way children like abby do. it also makes abby herself relevant to the plot and actually useful.

🐻and about abby; i have my own Theory there. we know she wasn’t in the picture during Garrett’s disappearance, which means she’s at least twelve years younger than mike. it’s actually quite common for couples who are going through a rough patch to have kids to try to fix it, which i think is what happened here, made even more possible if they also had her as a sort of replacement for Garrett. this, as i said earlier, makes mike’s indecision all the more understandable — if abby doesn’t just look a lot like Garrett, but was actually supposed to be him and would’ve never existed if not for the tragedy.

but that’s Just A Theory. 🐻🐤🐰🦊

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thestupidhelmet · 7 months

Note

AU T7S Where Kelso Doesn't Exist on the Show

This turned into an outline/first-draft hybrid of a fanfic I would call One Difference: Michael Kelso Doesn't Exist.

Quite a few twists. Lots of Zen. Plenty for the other characters, too.

Season 1

Jackie joins the basement gang because of Fez. Jackie enjoys his flattery and attention, but she hasn't promised him anything romantic or sexual. She also keeps her time in Eric's basement secret, acting like she doesn't know Fez, Donna, Eric, or Hyde while in school.

Hyde influences Eric to be more delinquent than he otherwise would be. Without Kelso as his partner in crime, Eric fills that role.

Eric gets into more trouble with both his parents because of his shenanigans with Hyde. Donna also finds Eric slightly hotter for his rebelliousness. In canon season seven, she tells Eric she thinks it's hot when he does naughty stuff.

Unfortunately for Eric, his parents don't agree. He doesn't get the Vista Cruiser, as he does in "That '70s Pilot" (1x01). They tell him that unless and until he acts responsible enough to have a car, he's not getting one from them.

Red's opinion about Hyde is also different. Instead of seeing Hyde as a good kid who's rough around the edges, he thinks Hyde's a danger to his son and tells Eric Hyde's no longer allowed in the house. He also tells Eric to let Hyde find another dumbass to get into trouble with.

Jackie wants to go to the junior prom so badly that she accepts Fez's invitation. Problem is that she's finding herself attracted to Hyde in spite of herself. Before Red banned him from the basement, regardless of how annoyed he is by Jackie, she's drawn to him.

Hyde is the only one who fights the guy (and his friends) who punched Eric unconscious in "Grandma's Dead" (1x23). Without Kelso there, Fez tries to help but is tossed aside and passes out.

Hyde gets more than a fat lip from that bar fight. He's bruised all over. He's allowed to go to Grandma Forman's funeral to support Eric (because of Kitty).

When Red sees Hyde, he assumes the worst about why Hyde's bruised and swollen. Eric tells Red what Hyde did for him, and that significantly changes Red's mind about Hyde.

Fez is confused as to why Jackie runs hot and cold with him. Hyde and Eric both answer that she's a nutbag and he should look for a girlfriend elsewhere. Donna, though, defends Jackie. They're friends now, and Jackie's helped Donna transition her friendship with Eric into a romance.

Fez decides to fight even harder for Jackie's love, and Hyde and Eric groan.

After Edna abandons Hyde, Red (without knowing yet what happened) lets Hyde join his for dinner three nights in one week. During these dinners, Red starts to understand that Hyde is a good boy who's rough around the edges. Kitty, who always liked Hyde, is grateful for how he stood up for her son.

Once Red and Kitty learn that Hyde's mom abandoned him, he allows Hyde to live with them on probationary status. Hyde has to cut out the nonsense and stop cutting classes.

Hyde excels at following Red's conditions, so much so that Eric becomes jealous. With Hyde no longer doing senseless stupid stunts, Eric decides to do a stunt of his own. He's got way more experience in it since Hyde essentially trained him in the art for eleven years.

Eric, who's earned the Vista Cruiser a third through the season, decides to take his mom's keys to the Toyota and find out how fast and far it can go on one tank of gas. Donna, Hyde, and Fez try to convince him not to.

Jackie is present for this moment, and she encourages Eric to go with his plan. This pisses off Donna and Hyde, but Fez finds it hot (despite not wanting Eric to do it).

Hyde tells Eric if he's gonna do something so stupid, Hyde better go with him.

Eric ends up swerving to avoid another car, but the Toyota's bumper falls off and the left taillight is busted. A good measure of paint has been scraped off.

When Red discovers what happened to his car, Hyde takes responsibility for it. Eric objects and says it's his fault. They fight over it, and Red fights internally with himself whether to blame Hyde and kick him out.

But, unlike Donna and Fez who have run off, Jackie steps in and says it was Eric's idea and that Hyde tried to stop him. She's a witness. She knows Hyde will be homeless if Hyde doesn't let Eric take responsibility, and then she'll lose access to him.

Red is relieved and disappointed. He makes Eric and Hyde work to pay off the car repairs. Rather than being upset by this punishment, Hyde feels more like part of the family.

Season 2

Fez tricks Jackie into a kiss during the movies. Once she realizes what he's doing, she stops him. With no Kelso to slug Fez, Jackie runs out of the theater.

Jackie tells Donna what happened and admits she liked the kiss. She's considering dating Fez in secret.Donna has two problems with this idea: one, Fez tricked her into a kiss, which doesn't set a good precedent for the start of a relationship; and two, Jackie shouldn't date Fez in secret. If Jackie has romantic feelings for him, she should be proud to date him and not let xenophobia -- or fear of others' xenophobia -- dictate how she lives her life.

Jackie says in this conversation that she's never had a boyfriend before and she's getting long in the tooth. It's time for her to start dating already. Fez is a terrible choice. "He worships me. He's great dancer, but ..."

Donna says, "He's foreign."

Jackie says, "No. I mean yes, but you're right that I shouldn't treat him like a dirty little secret. The problem is ... I love kissing, and Fez is good at it, but I'm not sure Fez is the one I want to kiss."

Donna, shocked and intrigued, says, "Is there someone else you want to kiss?"

Jackie becomes cagey, an obvious tell, and Donna calls her out on it: "There is someone you want to kiss! Who is it? Do I know him?"

Jackie, very uncomfortable, escapes the question by escaping the conversation (and Donna).

In the circle with Eric, Hyde, and Fez, Donna does her best to keep her mouth shut about Jackie. But Fez brings up how he kissed Jackie at the movies and that Jackie ran away afterward.

Eric and Hyde rag on Fez (and Jackie): "Why Jackie? I mean ... why Jackie?" "You found the Holy Grail, man -- the secret to gettin' Jackie to disappear."

Donna, unhappy about their burns, says, "Jackie liked the kiss, you jackasses -- " which makes Fez brighten -- "but she wants someone else to kiss her that way."

Fez, Hyde, and Eric: "Who?"

Donna: "I don't know. She wouldn't tell me."

Eric: "Oh, God -- that must mean it's one of us!"

Hyde: "Donna's hot. Wouldn't blame her."

Eric: "Not Donna. Us! You and me!"

Hyde: "No way, Forman. You make her sick, and she makes me sick. She wouldn't go after her best friend's boyfriend anyway."

Donna, Eric, and Fez: "How do you know that?"

Hyde: "Uh ... "

Donna (teasing, singing): "Hyde and Jackie sitting in ... in ... have you two ever sat in anything together?"

Fez (sad): "Only the remains of my heart."

Hyde: "Look, last winter at her ski cabin, she whined to me about wanting this guy Jake Bradley -- "

Eric: "The Jake Bradley? The Vikings quarterback?"

Hyde: "Yeah. But he's dating Kat Peterson, so that's never gonna happen."

Donna (remembering): "Right! And you tried to 'comfort' her by saying Jake wouldn't cheat on Kat with Pam Macy either, so Jackie's in good company.

Hyde (chuckling to himself): "That was a pretty good burn."

Donna: "You were a total jerk that weekend -- and not just to her."

Hyde: "Yup. I was. [Sincerely to Donna] Sorry, man. For all of it. No excuses. Just a reason: head was screwed up from my ma. Wouldn't want anyone to do to me what I did to you, and I'm glad we're still cool though I don't deserve it."

Donna's about to accept his apology, but Eric says, "What did you do to her?"

Fez (morose): "What I did to Jackie."

Eric (pissed and confused, to Hyde): "You kissed her in a movie theater in Alpine Valley?"

Donna and Hyde: "The ski cabin."

Hyde: "And she slapped me good. Too bad it didn't knock sense into my skull."

After this circle, Eric is uneasy about Hyde.

Laurie, bored, finds a sad Fez moping around the Forman driveway. She gets him to open up about Jackie's latest but as-yet unspoken romantic rejection of him. Laurie sees an opportunity to amuse herself.

Laurie: "You're a virgin, right?"

Fez: "Yes -- no! I have done it with many women. Like a stallion."

Laurie: "Mm-hmm. Care to prove it?"

Fez glances around. "Where?"

Laurie holds up the keys to her parents' Toyota and nods her head toward the car.

"B-b-but we could get caught!" Fez says.

"It'll be more fun that way," Laurie says and pulls Fez to the car.

A little later, Hyde goes to the driveway. The garage door is open. The Toyota is rocking. At first Hyde thinks the Formans are having sex, and he back away. Then Laurie screams, "Fez!" in passion (and in an attempt to get caught).

Hyde is more repulsed by the idea of Fez and Laurie screwing than the Formans and flees to The Hub.

At The Hub, Jackie is eating at a table alone. Hyde brings his tray of fries, a hot dog, and a soda to her table.

Jackie (suspicious and intrigued): "What do you want?"

Hyde: "You don't have to worry about Fez anymore."

Jackie: "Huh?"

Hyde: "Look, we all know he's been after you for months, but someone caught him in her web today. He's probably gonna stay there willingly, even if the spider sucks out his insides ... leavin' him a dried husk."

Jackie (annoyed): What are you talking about, Hyde?"

Hyde: "Spotted Laurie and Fez doing the backseat bossa nova."

Jackie: "Is that some kind of dance?"

Hyde (smirking): "Some kind. Doesn't require clothes. [To himself] Hope he's wearin' a condom."

Jackie (understanding): "HE'S HAVING SEX WITH LAURIE?"

Hyde winces at her shout. "You should be happy, man. Now that she's got Fez on his back, he'll get off yours."

Jackie: "I -- well -- who's gonna ... "

Hyde: "What?"

Jackie: "You'll just burn me if I tell you."

Hyde: "Likely. [Gently] You can still tell me."

Jackie: "It's just that ... I don't get a lot of attention at home, okay? And I have no boyfriend to lavish me with the adoration I totally deserve, so now that Fez'll be all over Laurie, I'm gonna be alone."

Hyde: "Not alone. Lonely."

Jackie: "What's the difference?"

Hyde: "Trust me; there's a difference."

Jackie stares at Hyde a moment. Then she says, "I do. I do trust you."

Hyde, realizing he made a big mistake, says, "I'm gonna take the rest of my lunch to-go." He stands up with his tray of food and leaves The Hub while Frank (the manager and cashier) yells at him about it. Hyde says, "I'll bring it back!" and hurries away outside.

Fez, exhilarated and a little scared by what happened between himself and Laurie, looks for someone to confide in. He wants someone who will react helpfully, so Eric's out. Hyde's at The Hub with Jackie, so Fez can't find him. Next door, however, is Donna.

Nervously, Fez relates to Donna that he just lost his virginity to Laurie. Donna's first reaction is disgust and shock, but she recovers and asks if he's okay. "And please tell me you used a condom."

Fez: "I don't know if I'm okay -- but yes, Pépé wore a coat. Laurie said I was all right, which is a synonym for *okay,* but did she really mean it? And the first-first time lasted five seconds. The second first time was eight minutes and -- "

Donna: "Spare me the second-by-second breakdown. Please. I want to know how you feel -- emotionally. Because, y'know, it's Laurie! And how did this even happen?"

Fez (laughing): "Oh, you silly virgins and you're silly questions. Sex-education in this country is very lacking. You see, women have -- "

Donna: "I know how sex works! I mean how did you and Laurie ... *why* did you and Laurie?"

Fez: "Oh. She was bored. I was heartbroken over Jackie, and now Fez is no longer a virgin. But what if Laurie just used me to burn Eric? Or if she'll never have sex with me again? Or if that will be my *only* time having sex? Because I liked it ... about four minutes into the second first time."

Donna wishes Hyde were the one Fez was talking to. She's very uncomfortable. She's also worried about how this situation will affect Fez and Eric. She says, "Laurie is always up to something. Whatever you do, even if it's having sex with her again, don't trust her. And don't mistake sex for love. They're totally not the same thing. And I think you should tell Eric right away. Like now."

Fez: "Wow. This is a lot to think about."

Donna: "I just don't want you or Eric to get hurt."

Donna supports Fez by being present in the basement when Fez tells Eric about Laurie. Eric has a negative reaction, and Donna tries to calm him down. Hyde enters the basement amid this bit of chaos.

Hyde: "So Forman knows Fez and Laurie did it, huh?"

Fez, Donna and Eric: "How do you know about that?"

Hyde: "I was there, man. In the driveway. Saw the Formans' Toyota rattling around. Once I spotted the cause, I was outta there."

Eric, hoping to find an ally, says to Hyde, "So what now? Laurie's not hanging out with us just 'cause she and Fez committed that abominable act."

Hyde (to Fez): "Whatever you do, whoever you do, is your business, man. Just don't make it ours, all right?"

Donna: "I already warned him not to fall in love with her."

Fez grows annoyed at his friends' controlling, unsupportive attitudes. He decides that if Laurie's interested in him, he'll have fun with her as long as it lasts.

Throughout the rest of the season, Fez and Laurie's strange relationship continues. Jackie's disgusted and thankful she'd realized she doesn't have romantic feelings for him early. Red is oblivious, but eagle-eyed Kitty recognizes that Laurie is "playing" with Fez (please excuse the unavoidable double entendre).

Kitty sits Laurie down and has a serious talk with her. Kitty knows Laurie is in no way faithful to Fez and doesn't want her to break Fez's heart. Laurie tries to reassure Kitty, albeit dismissively, that the heart isn't the organ Fez is concerned about.

Dissatisfied, Kitty goes to Red. Big mistake. Red puts the onus on Fez and tries to scare him off Laurie. Fez tells Laurie about this development, which makes her want Fez more.

Jackie tries to befriend Hyde, much to his annoyance. She likes how real he is, especially compared to the guys who are part of her social circle at school. She finds in his personality and demeanor aspects she feels she lacks within herself and is attracted (platonically) by that.

Hyde shows no interest in reciprocating any friendship until he witnesses at school a nasty encounter Jackie has with a very competitive cheer squad teammate, Julie. Julie is gunning for cheer captain for the varsity team next year. She sees Jackie as a threat and uses Jackie's lack of boyfriend as a way to spread rumors about her.

Hyde teaches Jackie his version of Zen so she can protect herself. He also introduces her to the circle in between lessons. Unfortunately, being Zen goes only so far when Jackie Burkhart is a lesbian (remember, 1970s) and other untrue statements about her are written on blackboards and whispered by students whenever Jackie walks into a classroom or a school hallway.

To mitigate these rumors, Jackie starts dating Chip. Hyde is wary of this development and keeps an eye on it.

Before Jackie and Chip's third date, at school Hyde questions Chip -- whom Hyde knows is a year older than Jackie and has bragged about previous sexual "conquests". Chip says what he and Jackie have is quid quo pro. Chip goes on a few dates with her, tolerates the yapping, and on the last date he gets to nail her.

Hyde: "Is tonight gonna be the last date?"

Chip: "Hell yeah. She's a bitch."

Pow!

Hyde lays out Chip with one punch. It's witnessed by a lot of students, including Jackie. Jackie wants to know what happened. Hyde manages to get out, "He said bitch. Last date. Nail you -- "

Unlike the Jackie of T7S Prime, this one is a virgin at this time on the show. She's sexually inexperienced, and she pieces together what Chip intended and why Hyde punched him.

Unfortunately, the school principal arrives. As he hauls Hyde to his office, Jackie shouts that she loves Hyde. Many students witness this moment, too.

The principal suspends Hyde from school for the rest of the year, which only has two weeks left, but it means he can't take his finals. He'll have to attend summer school and anger management classes.

Eric and Donna's stories in season 2 are relatively unaffected by Kelso's absence except as described above.

Season 3

Jackie happy-brags to Donna about what went down and why Hyde has to go to summer school. Donna thinks what Hyde did is noble but that Jackie needs to tell her dad about it since the principal doesn't know.

Jackie thinks Donna's idea is great. She does tell her father, who uses his influence to get Hyde out of anger management and a commendation on his transcript for community spirit-- despite the principal condemning the use of violence to solve issues. Chip is expelled because of Jack's influence (and fury that someone thought to hurt his daughter in such a way).

Hyde remains suspended for one week but is allowed to return to school to take his finals.

Jackie is flustered that Hyde doesn't thank her for her intervention on his behalf. He protected her, and she protected him, so -- to her mind -- they should be really close now.

When Jackie confronts Hyde about his lack of gratitude, he tells her he never would've had to punch the guy (Chip) if Jackie didn't give into social pressure. Although this statement is victim-blaming, Jackie does think hard about how toxic her social circle is and tells Hyde he's right. She'll choose her friends better. In fact, he'll be seeing a lot more of her from now on.

Hyde complains to Eric and Donna about this latest situation. Donna's pissed at Hyde for blaming Jackie for Chip nearly taking advantage of her.

Eric, meanwhile, is still focused on Fez and Laurie's relationship and says he bets Laurie took advantage of Laurie, but no one was around to punch her before she could get to him -- not that a man should punch a lady. But if Donna had been there ...

Donna slaps Eric's shoulder and tells him to pay attention to the matter at hand.

Hyde takes to heart Donna's point about victim-blaming Jackie and wants to make it right. He apologizes to Jackie, in his own way. He says, "I get feelin' pressured, and sometimes it puts us in situations we don't know are dangerous. Chip is a sneaky bastard, and you're not used to sneaky bastards. I am, but you couldn't have seen what he had planned for ya. Even if you could -- "

Jackie: "You're rambling, Steven."

Hyde: "I don't ... yeah, okay, I do. I am. Anyway, I'm sorry for acting like a dillhole after I punched Chip. I kinda punched you, too, with my words."

Jackie: "Yeah, you did. It really hurt ... and not only because I really like you."

Hyde: "You shouldn't -- like me, I mean. I'm no good. But under your abrasive, bossy exterior is someone I can stand to be around."

Jackie (touched): "Aw! Does this mean we're friends?"

Hyde: "I knocked a guy's teeth in 'cause he called you a bitch and planned to do a lot worse, and you had your dad bail me out of goin' to summer school and more. People who hate each other generally don't do things like that, so ... "

Jackie (excitedly, hugging Hyde): "We're friends! Hey, why don't we go to the Sizzler for dinner and celebrate?"

Hyde (uncomfortable): "I'm not sure we -- "

Jackie: "I'll pay."

Hyde (now agreeable): "You've had a rough couple of weeks. Let's go, kid."

Jackie and Hyde's arc in season three is their growing friendship that they manage to conceal from everyone but Mrs. Forman. She keeps it mostly to herself but talks to Red about it. Red approves because of his experience with her in "Career Day" (1x18).

Fez and Laurie's relationship ends when Fez discovers that Laurie's cheating on him. His friends say they all warned him but still display various levels of sympathy.

Donna says, "Why did you like her so much anyway? She was mean to you most of the time."

Fez: *She had sex with me, Donna. Regularly! How could I not love a woman like that?"

Hyde: "Dude, you didn't love her."

Fez: "I loved that she had sex with me. Regularly! And sometimes strangely, which I also enjoyed very much."

To help Fez get over Laurie, Hyde takes Fez "cruising for chicks". It cheers Fez up a little, but he's relatively down the rest of the season.

Eric never gets the idea of getting Donna a promise ring because Kelso doesn't exist to give it to him. Still, Ric and Donna's relationship goes downhill because of h increasing independence and his increasing insecurity.

At the end of the season, Eric has an important conversation with Donna. He says, "When do you think we'll get married? Before college or after college?"

Donna (laughing, thinking he's joking): "Why not tomorrow? We could drive to Vegas, and an Elvis impersonator can officiate."

Eric: "I'm serious. Donna, I can't imagine my life without you."

Donna (stunned): "Are you, like, proposing?"

Eric: "Hypothetically if I were, what would you say?"

Donna: "I'd say, 'We're seventeen and have no idea where our lives will take us.'"

Eric: "But wherever they take us, you see us together ... don't you?"

This question leads to the rest of their breakup scene in "Promise Ring" -- minus the actual ring.

Season 4

Eric's depression proceeds as it does on the show. For the first half of the season, he dates random girls. Donna doesn't date.

The heartbroken Eric and Fez set up the get-Hyde-a-girlfriend party. Jackie invites Rhonda -- not because Jackie's insecure about not being the prettiest girl at the party but doesn't want to find Hyde a potential girlfriend. Fez and Rhonda hit it off.

With no Kelso and no vanity-driven insecurity, Jackie stays at the party and watches Hyde closely but sneakily. She's relieved when he doesn't seem seriously interested in any of the girls.

After a short absence, Hyde returns to the party with Melissa. Jackie recognizes how disrespectful and manipulatively Melissa treats Hyde. Once Melissa leaves, Jackie pulls Hyde aside.

Jackie: "Melissa's really pretty."

Hyde (still dazed by his attraction to Melissa): "Uh-huh ... "

Jackie: "She's also everything you hate about me."

Hyde: "What?"

Jackie: "You clearly didn't pay attention to how she acted. She was bossy, mean, and -- and -- what's that word you taught me, when you described how your mom used to give you the silent treatment whenever you pissed her off by blinking too loud?"

Hyde: "Withholding."

Jackie: "That's it! She's emotionally withholding, and she's gonna use that as a weapon against you if you date her. I can see it already."

Hyde (annoyed): "Jackie, I spent an hour with her. You can't tell all that."

Jackie: "You had one conversation with Chip, and you knew exactly what he had planned for me."

Hyde: "Because he told me!"

Jackie: "And Melissa told me. I might not have your sexual experience or whatever, but I'm an expert in manipulation. ... Just think about what happened between you two tonight before you call her, okay?"

Hyde (mostly because he wants to end the conversation): "... Okay."

But Hyde does as Jackie asks. He flashes back to how his mom treated his dad (Bud) and eventually himself. Melissa did seem to resent him already, and he'd end up resenting her. She might be a great girl -- but not for him. She clearly doesn't think he's enough for her as he is now. Not a great way to start a relationship.

At The Hub a few days later, Donna tells Hyde that Melissa told her he never called. Donna asks why.

Hyde: "You called me whipped after she left the party. That was enough."

Donna: "Oh, come on, Hyde. I was teasing. Melissa's really cool. You're cool. I don't think you should miss out on each other."

Hyde: "And I don't think you and Forman should've broken up. You obviously miss each other, but what can I do about it?"

Hyde hit the target he was aiming for. Donna, emotional and pissed, leaves The Hub.

Jackie arrives at The Hub and passes Donna, who says, "Hyde's being a jackass today. I wouldn't sit with him."

Jackie does sit with Hyde, however, and she gets him to spill about not calling Melissa and his interaction with Donna.

"Thanks, by the way, for lookin' out for me," he says.

Jackie: "That's what friends do even when it might piss their friend off like you did Donna."

Hyde: "She'll get over it. Don't know how she and Forman'll get over each other, though."

"Tornado Prom" (4x15) happens a few episodes earlier in this AU. Jackie really wants to win Snow Queen, but she laments to Hyde that she has no date. Hyde shrugs. Jackie says, "You could take me."

Hyde: "I could, but I won't. Plan on partying in the principal's office."

Jackie: "You can still do that. But if you're my date, the teacher-chaperones won't be as watchful of you."

Hyde: "Huh. ... All right. I owe you for Melissa -- and I hate owing anyone -- but no dancing."

Jackie: "Five dances, and you wear a tuxedo."

Hyde: "No dances, and I wear a shirt and pants."

Jackie: "Steven!"

Hyde: "Whatever. One dance."

Jackie: "Four and a tux. I'll rent it."

Hyde: "Two dances, and I wear the suit Bud left me after he -- well, left me the first time."

Jackie: "That mustard thing? Ew! ... Three dances, a nice suit jacket, pants, dress shirt, and tie I'll buy you, and I distract any teachers who might be eyeing you."

Hyde: "Deal."

During his dances with Jackie at Snow Prom, Hyde begins to realize his romantic, aesthetic, and sexual attraction to Jackie. It scares him. After their third dance, he definitely wants to have his circle in the principal's office. Jackie joins him with Fez and Rhonda.

Jackie falls asleep. Hyde draws a unibrow on her forehead. She wins Snow Queen, and Jake Bradley wins Snow King. Jackie is elated but can't understand why everyone in the gym is laughing at her. Then she sees her face in a mirror and knows Hyde is the culprit.

Jackie is furious, but instead of letting humiliation get the best of her, she goes Zen. Everyone is impressed, including Hyde -- and he knows now he's in big trouble.

After "Tornado Prom," Eric realizes he'll never get over Donna if he doesn't actually try. Without Jackie setting Donna up with Casey Kelso, Eric's able to focus on his own date life. He asks out Shelly ("Eric's Panties" [3x06], who is happy to go out with him.

Donna's emotional spiraling begins again. She doesn't want to date anyone, but she's afraid Eric and Shelly might actually have a chance at a relationship (unlike his previous dates).

Jackie (to Donna): "Oh, my God, you still love him!"

Donna: "Of course I do, but that doesn't mean I can be with him. He tried to control my life."

Jackie: "No, he confessed his undying commitment to you, and you rejected it."

Donna: "Because the second I carved out a little piece of my life just for myself, he freaked!"

Jackie: "Someone who loves you as much as Eric does would be willing to work through that."

Donna: "How do you know? You've never even had a boyfriend."

Jackie: "No, but I understand love and that it takes compromises and work ... and trust."

Donna: "Then I guess I don't trust Eric to work on compromising with me."

Jackie: "He compromised with you all the time!"

Donna: "I compromised with him. Until I was sick of him refusing to respect me enough to do the same."

Jackie: "Have you ever told him that?"

Donna: "I told him to trust me."

Jackie: "That's not the same thing."

Donna: "It should've been enough."

Jackie: "Obviously, it wasn't."

Donna: "Well, that's not my problem."

Jackie (mockingly): "'That's not my problem.'" [She pinches Donna's arm, and Donna cries out in pain and anger.] "Who's problem is it, then? Eric's, someone who Shelly or another girl might give a chance to let him learn from his mistakes and be happy? Or the person so stubborn she'll end up alone and miserable because she's in love with someone who needs more time to understand what he's doing wrong?"

Donna can't absorb Jackie's insight all at once, but the seed is planted.

Jackie's parents find out that Hyde took Jackie to Snow Prom. They think she's dating him, despite her protestations to the contrary: "We're just friends! He'll tell you the same thing!"

Jackie's parents want her to stop hanging out in the Formans' basement. She can go to Donna's house, but if she keeps going to the Formans', her father will cut her off financially.

Jackie has more than Hyde to lose. Despite that Donna doesn't go to the basement as often, especially now that Eric's dating Shelly, Jackie will miss all her friends there.

In the basement, Jackie announces her conundrum without saying that Hyde's the reason for it. She says her dad wants her to spend more of her spare time with her "real" friends from the cheer squad and in her own grade. She's decided, though, to get a job because she knows everyone here will miss her too much.

Eric, Donna, Fez, Rhonda, and Hyde's reactions are unenthusiastic. But in private, Hyde asks Jackie what the actual deal is.

Jackie, to her surprise, admits the truth. Hyde laughs and says, "That's ridiculous. Your folks are ... "

Jackie: "Ridiculous! I know! You'd never like me that way."

Hyde: "Right. Never. And you wouldn't date a poor, lowerclass burnout dirtbag."

Jackie: "Exactly! Not that you're a dirtbag ... or poor in the non-money sense. You're richer in every other way that counts compared to the sons of my parents' upperclass friends."

Hyde (sensing the awkwardness between them): "So you're getting a job, huh?"

Jackie: "I'm going to the mall. Maybe Halverson's is look for someone pretty to model its clothes."

Jackie ends up at the Cheese Palace, hired to hand out cheese samples to potential patrons. She has to take the bus to the mall and back because her dad took away her keys to the Lincoln.

Hyde feels partially responsible for Jackie's situation, so he drives her home from work when his own work schedule allows.

Eric catches Todd "the Cheese Guy" kissing Jackie (Todd had tricked her when she was down about her parents' lack of trust in her and low opinion of Hyde).

Jackie doesn't want Eric telling anyone because she's humiliated that her second real kiss was due to being tricked by another boy. Moved by compassion, Eric keeps her secret.

Except that Jackie feels like she cheated on Hyde in some way.

By the end of the season, Fez doesn't get terrible advice from Casey Kelso, and his relationship with Rhonda is intact.

Donna has grown completely depressed. She refuses to try to break up Eric and Shelly by telling Eric she loves him. She had her chance to work through the toughest part of her relationship with Eric, and they both blew it. She needs to get away for the summer, and she heads to the bus station -- and California -- to stay with her mom.

What Donna doesn't know is that Eric has broken up with Shelly. He's still in love with Donna, and he can accept living in the now with her and leave the future unwritten.

Jackie tells Hyde about what happened with Todd. Hyde says she doesn't need to confess to him. He's no priest.

Jackie: "I do. I feel terrible about it, Steven. He tricked me!"

Hyde (growing protective): "What do you mean by tricked?"

Jackie: "He offered to give !e a sympathetic hug because of my parents, you know? But he turned his face, and his lips pushed against mine, and we were kissing. I was so confused, but I kissed him back! Just like I was confused when Fez tricked me at the movies and kissed me -- and I kissed him back."

Jackie (tearing up): "My teammates are right about me: I'm a naive loser. God, I've never been kissed by a boy I've chosen to kiss. Who I've wanted to kiss. And -- and if you hadn't looked out for me another boy, Chip, might've done a lot worse."

Hyde (consoling): "Hey ... hey, that sucks. But it's not your fault, all right? I didn't get to choose most things about my life, either, but I got to choose my friends. Like you."

Jackie feels a little better, but her first tear falls.

Hyde: "Listen, any guy you choose to kiss someday will be lucky."

Jackie: "Any guy?"

Hyde: "Well, someone who wants to kiss you back."

Jackie: "Would you want to?"

Hyde (flushing a little): "If you kissed me ... it would be cool."

Jackie: "That can mean anything!"

Hyde: "I wouldn't hate it. ... Hell, I'd probably like it."

Jackie places her hand on Hyde's cheek. She kisses him gently. He responds gently -- at first -- then they're making out with each other heavily. Fade to black.

Eric goes to the Pinciottis' house to tell Donna about his breakup and what he's learned about trusting the moment. Unfortunately, Donna's not there. Bob and Joanne don't know where she is. They let Eric wait for her in her room. He waits a long time.

Season 5

Jackie and Hyde's romantic relationship develops over the summer. They keep it a secret because Eric is sad and mopey about Donna. They also want the relationship to be just theirs while in its beginning stages, without their friends' opinions.

Hyde gets Eric the plane ticket (using Eric's Candy Land stash) to go to Donna in California. Hyde and Fez cover for his absence.

Eric and Donna reconcile in California. Without Casey being an issue, and Eric explaining that he dumped Shelly and never had sex with her because he never stopped loving Donna, they actually deal with what broke them up.

When Fez and Rhonda catch Hyde and Jackie in the basement post-kissing -- unlike Fez -- Rhonda recognizes what they walked in on. Hyde decides to act Zen about it. Jackie follows his lead.

Rhonda: "That doesn't work on me. I know love when I see it."

Hyde (laughing nervously): "Love? I don't love, man. I tolerate."

Jackie: "No, no, no. I tolerate. You're so overwhelmed by my beauty that I tolerate making out with you."

Fez (to Rhonda): What are they doing?

Rhonda: "Acting like two in love dorks. Want to see if Mrs. Forman has any peach cobbler left over?"

Fez: "I suppose I could tolerate that."

With Rhonda and Fez gone, Jackie says, "Steven, are we dorks?"

Hyde: "Nope."

Jackie: "Are we ... in love?"

Hyde: "How's about we quit talking and get back to what we were doin'?"

Jackie and Hyde continue to make out but wonder about Jackie's question.

Donna and Eric return from California.

Without Kelso, Jackie and Hyde's arc consists of figuring out just how they feel about each other, supporting each other through life issues (e.g., Jackie's dad going to prison) and not always getting it right the first or second time.

Eric and Donna don't get engaged this season. They're too busy finding the balance between their fears, individual desires, and how all that affects their relationship.

During the senior prank, Eric, Fez, and Hyde are present. Eric tried to get artistic and paint a tribute to Donna. He miscalculated his reach and fell off the water tower. Hyde leaves Fez to check on Eric. Fez is arrested.

Jackie is afraid to admit to Hyde she loves him. Hyde is afraid he's unlovable, but Kitty reassures him and says, "Maybe Jackie has to hear it first."

Hyde: "And if she laughs in my face?"

Kitty: "Steven, you've loved that girl for years. You can deny it all you like, but a mother knows. And if you've chosen someone worthy of your love, which I believe you have, you'll hear the right thing."

Jackie, meanwhile, has gone to Red -- who doesn't want to get involved but does. Jackie says, "When did you first tell Mrs. Forman you love her?"

Red: "Between when I fought in World War II and the Korean War."

Jackie, despite knowing Hyde would never join the military and dislikes conflict of any kind, decides she'll have to take drastic action.

Jackie finds Hyde in the Formans' basement. She says she's declaring war on him.

Hyde, confused since he and Jackie haven't had any serious fights in a while, says, "Before you do that -- whatever that means -- I've got somethin' to tell you."

Jackie wants to speak first, but she's learned that she has a tiny window when Hyde is open and vulnerable enough to say important things to her. She doesn't want him to shut down, so she gestures her assent.

Hyde: "I love you. ... Okay, go declare war."

Jackie, taken a back says, "I -- I ... I admit defeat. I love you, too!"

Hyde (unsure): "You what?"

Jackie: "Mr. Forman went through one war and was about to fight in another when he told Mrs. Forman he loves her. So I thought if I declared war by telling you I love you that either we'd both win or both lose. I just needed a definitive answer."

Hyde (laughing): "You are one freaky, freaky chick. Glad we both won. Medical care for vets in this country, 'specially mental care, sucks. Have you seen that guy on Sherman? He -- "

Jackie quiets him with a kiss. "Another time, Steven. This war is over."

Hyde kisses her back.

Rhonda marries Fez so he can stay in the country. Red doesn't have a heart attack.

Eric, inspired by Fez and Rhonda, proposes to Donna at the end of the season. We don't get her answer.

Season 6

Kitty is devastated that Eric and Hyde are leaving for college. Eric says, "It's in Kenosha. We'll be less than forty-five minutes away."

As in The Middle, we get the characters' college experiences, but they're in Point Place for the majority of episodes.

We learn that Donna said yes to Eric's proposal by seeing the engagement ring on her finger. Their arcs revolve around keeping their engagement secret, accidentally revealing it, and their parents' reactions on top of dealing with college life and sharing a house with Hyde, Fez, and Rhonda off-campus.

With Donna out of the house, Bob spends his fatherly attention on Jackie. It's helpful and annoying, and then her mom returns to town. The conflict this arrival creates is handled more seriously than it is on the show with Kelso.

Hyde struggles in college. He's smart but not academically inclined. His temperament is much better suited to an apprenticeship, learning a craft by doing the craft. He's scared.

During one weekend, Hyde learns Hyde bought Wilson & Son's Muffler Shop. He asks Red if he can work there on the weekends. Red hears the uncertainty in Hyde's voice and gets the truth out of him.

Hyde says he doesn't want to disappoint him or Mrs. Forman after all they've done for him.

Red says part of being an adult is making one's own path. Red will hire Hyde full-time if that's what Hyde wants. Hyde agrees.

Hyde then has to go through the process of telling everyone else. Mrs. Forman is worried but trusts Red to teach Hyde well -- and is happy he'll be moving back into the house.

Jackie is shocked, but she ultimately supports Hyde in his decision. She's also happy he'll be next door instead of forty minutes away.

Eric, Donna, and Fez are not happy, especially Eric. He's afraid Hyde will end up like one of his cousins. But Donna says Red owns a muffler and car repair business, not a gas station. If Hyde's happier, then he needs to make this change for himself.

Once Red and Kitty learn of Donna's engagement, they try to stop it. Shenanigans enue for a few episodes until Eric and Donna finally get the chance to tell them that the marriage won't take place until after college, which they're in.

Rhonda learns she's pregnant at the end of the season.

Hyde receives a letter in the mail from someone who claims to be his sister.

Season 7

Part of Hyde's arc is learning about his biological father and that side of the family. He's been working for Red for eight months, but W.B. works in music, and that's Hyde's true calling. Red lets Hyde go from the muffler shop.

Fez and Rhonda deal with Rhonda's pregnancy while going to college.

Donna gets the opportunity to study abroad in Paris for her junior year. Eric wants to go with her, and he applies for the same opportunity. Odds are against him, but he studies hard, inadvertently distancing himself from Donna she doesn't know why.

Near the end of the season, Eric learns he's accepted. Donna finally understands and wishes he'd told her. He didn't because he didn't want to get either of their hopes up.

Jackie is accepted togoing to NYU in New York City. She's torn because Hyde manages Grooves in Point Place. W.B., though, just happens to be expanding his business into the Northeast. Hyde will run the giant, new flagship store with Angie's help.

Rhonda has the baby. It's a girl, ten pounds, eight ounces. Fez is a proud papa.

Red and Kitty face the fact they'll truly be empty nesters. "Until Eric's senior year," Red says, "when he and Donna will be back in Wisconsin."

The show ends with the Vista Cruiser driving away. We see the license plate, and Hyde shouts (unseen): "Goodbye, Wisconsin!"

Jukebox Ask Game

#that 70s show #that '70s show #jackie x hyde #eric x donna #jackie burkhart #ask game #jukebox ask game #ficlet #michael kelso #steven hyde #fez #donna pinciotti #eric forman #kitty forman #red forman

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3d-wifey · 7 months

Text

NSFT Alphabet: Star (poly!lost boys + Michael) Edition

A/N: I needed to add my girl Star to the equation. It's been a WIP for ages, but I decided to finish it to give my brain a little break from writing Chapter 14 of the Finnick story---which should be the next thing I post. This is to be read in conjecture with the nsfw alphabet: poly!lost boys edition since it's all the same universe.

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Out of all of your partners, you and Star are certainly the closest. Emotionally, at least. When it's just the two of you, it always ends in caressing skin, giggling, and whispering declarations of love to each other. All in all, it's very soft. You're very soft on each other. If you're with the other boys, she'd love for you to lay on her while the two of you watch them goof around.

B = Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partners)

Her favorite body part of hers is her legs. She loves how it feels when you rub your hands up and down them. She especially loves wrapping them around your waist. She loves all of you, especially your hips. She's insatiable, standing behind you with her hands gripping your sides, always touching. She can't get enough of you.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum, basically)

She loves it when you cum on her strap. That way she can fuck into your mouth while she makes you clean it off. She loves coming on your face the most. The pure joy in your eyes when she puts her full weight on your face is almost as gratifying as the orgasm.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

This is a shared one between you and her. The boys will usually send you out together to lure them a meal or two in. I mean, the combined beauty and seductive power between you two is enough to make a nun break her vows.

And whenever that happens, Star has the nifty idea to play up the flirting, so to speak. You could very well get the job done with fleeting touches and coy smiles, instead, Star hangs off of the arm of one guy and you play with the hair of another. Of course, in full view of the boys. The entire point is to make them jealous. And when David, because obviously, confronts you both about it with snippy little comments like "Have fun, girls?" or "You two were playing longer than expected." You just shrug with innocent smiles and hold hands. After all, they're the ones that told you to seduce the prey. They can't get too upset at their own idea, especially when it works so well (they can and they do).

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Star was turned in the 70s, the era of free love, so she's had her fair share of partners. That being said, she has more experience with girls than she does with boys. So you're in good hands.

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying)

Need I say more? I will say more. She loves being on top of you as you grind your wet cunts together. What's not to love? From up there, she can dictate the pace and just how hard she wants to go. Watching you writher and whine under her, the sounds of your begging, and just how wet you both are. It makes her feel desperate to reach her high until she grinds faster and faster against you.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)

She might grace you with one of her angelic laughs every now and then. But honestly, it's almost always a very giggly affair. You're a couple of giggly girls in love.

H = Hair (How well-groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Picture this: you're at Woodstock, you're on crazy hard drugs, the guy on stage is on crazy hard drugs, the people you're having an orgy with are on crazy hard drugs. It's a time of peace and nature and free love, man. You don't need any of that consumer shit the Man says you do, like razors or scissors or basic hygiene. That kind of mindset has sorta stuck with Star even after she turned. But she does trim it before it can get too wild. So, think more of a shrub than a bush.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment? The romantic aspect.)

Now, you're speaking her language. The only person who can rival her in this department is Dwayne, but why would you pit two queens against each other? Between the two of them, you're gonna be showered in so many romantic gestures you'll get a rash in the shape of a heart.

J = Jack off (Masturbation Headcanon)

No need ;)

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Enthusiastic consent: There’s something about the desperation of your begging, it’s a heady feeling knowing just how much you want her.

Mommy Kink: You may have awakened Michael's, but he awakened hers. Now, it's almost guaranteed that whenever you and Star have sex with the boys, they're getting dominated. You're a tag team, a dynamic dom duo. Everybody say “thank you” to Michael. You give up the reins to her whenever it's just you two. Good choice.

Overestimation: To others, of course. Even if you think you can't cum anymore, she surprises you by coaxing another and another and—you get it. Doesn't stop until you and your pussy are crying (Paul loves to be a witness to this). The guys aren't exempt from it. When the dynamic dom duo is loose, the boys get to find out if that accelerated healing is fast enough to stop them from shooting blanks.

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

In her room, one of the surviving rooms of the sunken hotel the boys eventually cleared out for her and moved her bed into.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Pain, but not her own. Odd, for how compassionate she is. She’s not getting horned up over Michael stubbing his toe or grievous harm done to her partners. There’s more nuance than that. Like, the first time you let her give you a piercing, she got alarmingly wet. That kind of pain. Regardless, you wanting her gets her going. Especially if you’re begging her even if you don’t have to considering she gives into you the easiest.

N = No (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

No anal, that hole is off-limits. It's never interested her before, and it sure as shit doesn't now. Sorry, Marko. No period sex, for obvious reasons. If she thought resisting blood was hard before, boy was she in for a surprise. Your period is almost harder on her than it is on you! But she endures it because she loves her baby :(

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Prefers to give you head even though she enjoys your mouth very much, hence why your period is a tricky time of the month for her—for the tribe as a whole, honestly. The boys are especially greedy around that time, they make you feel like a damn capri-sun but at least they take care of your cramps. While the boys are enjoying breakfast in bed, Star and Michael learn the true meaning of restraint.

Prefers to get head from the boys though. Queen shit.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Depends on many factors and what position. She's strapping you down from the back? Fast and deep strokes. Missionary? She's going slow and deep, making sure you feel every inch despite your begging for her to go faster. Tribbing? Fast and rough, she's usually just as desperate as you to cum. The pace with the boys depends on who she's with and if it's more than one person.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Quickies for y'all involve either fingering or oral. The boys might like the thrill of doing it in public, but she prefers the cave where she can lay you out the way she likes. But, she will be taken by the urge to make you cum, and if it just so happens to be in public? Welp. Que her fingers honing in on your G-spot in a truly diabolical fashion. It feels like she knows the intricacies of your vagina better than you do. (Off-topic side note: it's a toss-up between her and Dwayne for who makes you squirt for the first time.)

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)

Like I said for the boys. Safe, sane, consensual—but, unlike them, she actually cares about the sane and safe part too. It's hard to consider much of anything a risk that isn't garlic, holy water, stakes, and the sun. If it's something all parties involved are okay with, then Star is too. (Still no anal).

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)

Supernatural stamina, even as a half-vampire. Goes for a loooooong time, especially with that overestimation kink. If it's just the two of you, you won't even remember how many rounds there's been. Truly insatiable, you'll need someone to tap in (likely Michael).

T = Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Strap-on, obviously. You actually go pick it out with her since, you know, you're the one she's using it on. Michael tags along. She mainly tops whenever y’all break the strap out. Even if you're wearing it, she's riding you.

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease)

She loves to tease. She’s not teasing you, you're her baby, and she can't deny you anything. Now, the boys are a different story. She much prefers to tease them with you.

Something she likes to do with you when they’ve pissed her off, or pissed you off, or just because she wants to is to start making out and feeling each other up in the cave while the boys are distracted with wrestling or smoking or doing something other than doting on their pretty girlfriends.

But the gag is, the boys aren't allowed to join in. It’s always so fun getting them desperate and seeing their reactions. You two usually make a bet about who’ll cave and approach the two of you first. They typically send in Michael or Dwayne since Michael typically isn’t the one pissing you off and Dwayne is, well…he’s Dwayne.

It’s even more fun to do it on the boardwalk because their pride won’t let them grovel like they need to in order for you and Star to let them in on the fun. So they’re forced to watch and not touch.

And if anyone is dumb enough to say anything in front of your five very protective/quick-to-anger boyfriends when they’re already frustrated, well, free meal, am I right?

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Ah, so pretty. Surprisingly raspy. Low tones and sweet moans. She really makes you feel her voice.

W = Wild Card (A random headcanon for the character)

This goes for the whole tribe actually, but she can smell when you’re ovulating. Yeah, and it affects her viciously. Especially when it falls a week after your period. She’s a weak woman, she’s already had to abstain from you for, like, a week. She needs her fix. Truly, as soon as you step foot into that cave when you’re ovulating, you’re getting accosted by seven ANIMALS (>)0o0)>

X = X-ray (Let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

A perky B cup with brown nipples that get hard even when it's not cold. A proud member of the FPS, Fat Pussy Society

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Very high, and she is a fiend. But she’s also a lady, so she wears her horniess better than the guys.

Z = Zzz (How quickly they fall asleep afterward)

Like I said in the aftercare, you’re very soft together and then you pass out together. It’ll really happen between one blink and the next. Suddenly you’re kissing each other, and then, bam! You’re drooling and snoring together. The boys find it adorable, sans Michael who’s passed out with y'all. Makes their undead hearts skip a beat.

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