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clownboymcchucklefuck · 1 year

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Colored Gaze: Simon is the LI that knows everything about MC.

Yall buckle up for this one its a little all over the place💀

It has been mentioned a few times that there is a LI in Colored Gaze that knows everything about MC and although I've nearly lost my mind trying to figure out who it is, I think I have the answer.

We can go ahead and check Zachary off the list to being the LI. It was said that during the demo is the first time Zachary has met us and that one of the other ones have known us ever since they moved into town. Putting our options to Seth or Simon.

I'll be honest, I was going to make this theory about Simon AND Seth and anaylze the proof between the two but looked at the bigger picture and decided to change it to just Simon since he has the most proof.

Now this is where reading all 972 posts on the C.C comes into play.

It has been hinted at many times that Simon has known MC longer than just in the demo so there's already a bit of proof that Simon is that LI since he's known them for longer than anybody else.

Theres a few more but it literally takes me 20 minutes just to find one post so take this. 💀

That post can also align with this post:

Take note that both of them include "love them no matter what" and I'm pretty sure these were posted close to each other which could give more clues of it being Simon to.

This post is kinda what confirmed that it was Simon for me and I can even use the process of elimination for this.

It can't be Zachary because its been stated that Zachary has never met MC before the demo, the demo was the first time Zachary ever saw MC.

It can't be Seth because if pushed to the point by MC then he'd [SPOILERY THING I WILL NOT MENTION]. Seth is also the only LI that would be okay with breaking up with MC.

I would also like to take a flash to the past (?) and bring up this art that was posted on the tumblr and twitter:

Now honestly, and what I think most people may have assumed is that this was just a little wholesome drawing of Simon, right? Well I think there's more to it and the main thing that caught my attention was the art style to me.

It kinda reminds me of the devs old artstyle:

So I think this was one of the old drawings of the actual first time Simon ever saw MC.

I could just be analyzing the art to much so I'll give you some other stuff to think about.

You might need some more proof that Simon has known MC longer than just the demo so I raise you this; Simons job. We all know Simon works as a delivery driver so it's more than likely he's seen MC before around town since they all live in a small town.

Seth Argument:

But alas the most confusing part of this for me is that Seth also has some proof for being the LI that knows everything about MC which makes things more difficult.

If I remember somewhere on the C.C somebody asked how the boys would react to finding out MC works for the government/FBI and Seth's mentioned something about "He would be surprised that he didn't find that out while researching MC" and me and Kam have theorized before that Seth might have something to do with the government so he might have access to more information than the normal person. I'll talk more about this in my Seth theory but Seth's intelligence could help him with alot of things such as stuff like finding out information about people.

Seth also has some proof from the C.C as well:

"I already knew what I signed up for beforehand" implying that he might know stuff about MC before dating them.

There was also another ask where somebody asked for the boys reaction to MC texting them that they were at the hospital with the police and to eat dinner without them and Seth's answer really caught my attention because it mentioned that he already knew what hospital MC was at. This could be implying he's the LI or that he's just a stalker.

Simon's Song Playlist:

There's obviously hints to what the LI's are like especially since the dev even said there are hints to how the LI feels about MC or how they met.

Simons playlist was kinda hard to decipher not gonna lie but I did notice alot of songs and lyrics about being a hopless romantic so yeah, Simon is a hopeless romantic for MC.

There's also this part that caught my attention too:

Now this gives obvious vibes and references to Simon first meeting/seeing MC for the first time.

There were also a few that had a little possessive lyrics and some about what I assume is Simon wanting MC to trust him. And of course some ones implying that Simon was hiding a deep secret. :)

Hints from the demo:

Theres also of course this scene that caught my attention along with another one because I be making sure I pay attention to those subtle hints 💪

Simon was obviously about to say something but was then interrupted by MC's phone call. My first initial guess was something like "I love you" maybe and then after he would probably correct himself or say he didn't mean it like that. That could work because bro is no thoughts head empty (?) and since he's a hopeless romantic would probably say something like that on accident without thinking.

Shoutout to @mysticnebula for saving my sanity and screen recording this scene for me 💪

Something I noticed is that during Seth's route in the demo it mentions that MC forgets to put on their name tag whenever they get ready. However in this scene Simon already calls MC by their name before looking at the clipboard or them telling him their name which gives even more proof to him knowing them before the demo takes place.

There's also of course the walk home scene that it is beyond a doubt that Simon (?) Is the one following us.

We all thought that Zachary was the one at the window but this basically confirms that its NOT Zachary. And it can't be Seth either because even in the route that we don't meet Seth we still get followed and we still see somebody watching us from outside the window. Technically, Simon is the only one you have to deal with throughout the demo if you choose the right options.

It would also make sense for Simon to be the only one that knows where we live because of his job. Or it could just be him (?) following us home.

Theres obviously going to be alot more hints in the next update so we'll just have to wait for that. Until then we can only go off of these little clues and hints here and there :)

_______________

This theory may be a little all over the place because this is the first time my Host alter is writing and posting the theory but I hope its good 😭

TAG TIME: Simon belongs to @clrdgaze @dont-wannadothis-anymore

#Also my Google docs stopped working after I hit my goal of 1k smh 😒#Posting this 15 mins early because I love yall <3 #ONCE AGAIN IM SORRY FOR IT BEING MESSY BUT I REALLY HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE IT #yandere vn #yandere visual novel #yandere #male yandere #visual novel #coloredgaze #colored gaze #clrdgazevn #coloredgazevn #yandere male #coloredgazesimon #coloredgazevnzachary #coloredgazeseth #Simon 🌵

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ozmatippetarius · 1 year

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The Nembutal wasn't Henry's first attempt to poison Charles

Pretty late in the novel, Charles shares that Henry gave him a bottle of Nembutal capsules; Richard immediately recognizes this as a poisoning attempt and is horrified. (If you google "nembutal alcohol", like I did when confirming my understanding for this post, every result that comes up is a suicide hotline: that's how well-documented this interaction is.)

This isn't Henry's first attempt to poison Charles, though, although it's the first one recognized by the characters. Charles's "infection" that lands him in the hospital is. This one is a lot better planned-out and executed, and as a result is a lot less obvious to everybody. At this point Charles's mental health is in such a bad state that it's easy to believe that he could land himself in the hospital through poor self-care alone. I'll call out below a number of points that are pretty damning to Henry, though, from a narrative standpoint.

The hospital can't diagnose Charles's illness, and it resists treatment.

The doctors couldn’t figure out quite what was wrong with Charles. They’d tried two antibiotics over the course of the week, but the infection—whatever it was—didn’t respond. The third try was more successful.

If you've ever heard anything about poisoning cases, this will sound familiar. Even today, "It is difficult to determine whether a patient has been poisoned and, if so, what toxins caused the poisoning."

Henry discourages Richard from bringing Charles to the hospital.

After Richard picks up Charles, he tries to call Francis, who isn't home. Afterwards he calls Henry and is surprised when Francis answers the phone. Francis is clearly uncomfortable.

“Francis? What are you doing over there?” I said. “Oh, hello, Richard,” said Francis. He said it in a stagy way, as if for Henry’s benefit. “I guess you can’t really talk now.” “No.”

When Richard explains the situation, before Francis can give any sort of response, Henry takes the phone.

“Did you give him some aspirins?” “A few minutes ago.” “Well, then, why don’t you wait and see. I’m sure he’s fine.” This is exactly what I wanted to hear. “You’re right,” I said. “He probably caught cold sleeping out of doors. I’m sure he’ll be better in the morning.”

I'm obviously not suggesting that it's criminal for somebody to say the answer to a fever is "give him an aspirin, wait and see". I am suggesting, though, that narratively it's suspicious that Henry has apparently coerced Francis (the one person we know would be certain to say "go to the hospital") to come to his place, where he is clearly uncomfortable for reasons that are never explained to us, and takes the phone before Francis can make that recommendation.

Henry had opportunity to acquire poison.

“I mean,” he said, pushing his glasses up on the bridge of his nose, “that strictly in terms of virulence there are any number of excellent poisons, most of them far superior to this. The woods will be soon full of foxglove and monkshood. I could get all the arsenic I needed from flypaper. And even herbs that aren’t common here—good God, the Borgias would have wept to see the health-food store I found in Brattleboro last week. Hellebore, mandrake, pure oil of wormwood.… I suppose people will buy anything if they think it’s natural. The wormwood they were selling as organic insect repellent, as if that made it safer than the stuff at the supermarket. One bottle could have killed an army.”

Henry had access to poison Charles.

Just days before Charles ends up in the hospital, Henry has been in his apartment moving Camilla out. The novel actually goes out of its way to remind us of this, and call out that Henry has had his hands not only on Camilla's things but on Charles's that were left behind, by telling us that when Richard goes to the twins' apartment, "The place was ominously neat." (We've been previously told that both of the the twins are quite messy.)

Henry had motive to poison Charles.

Just a reminder: Charles and Francis were 100% not involved in the farmer's death, and serve as each other's alibis. I've written about this elsewhere, but I think it's clear that Camilla implicated herself intentionally to protect Henry (believing that Charles would never go to the police to report Camilla, when he very much would have reported Henry.)

We know that the twins' estrangement begins during the visit to the Corcorans' for the funeral. Francis speculates that Charles learned about Camilla's relationship with Henry during this time, and Richard is reminded that Cloke told him about a conversation between Camilla and Henry that he overheard on the phone, while Camilla thought he was asleep. Richard never gets more details of this phone call from Cloke, but Charles (who spent this entire visit hanging out with Cloke) certainly did.

I feel certain that whatever it was that Cloke overheard and shared with Charles was badly incriminating, and exposed that Camilla had been disingenuous about her involvement in the farmer's death. Imagine how shocking and awful that would have been for Charles to learn: instead of having participated in the murder of his friend to protect his sister, he actually did it to protect a man he actively hates.

I mean, this isn't jealousy. This is a more deep-rooted anger about a very serious betrayal.

“Have you talked to my sister?” he said to Francis. He said it in a very cold way, as if he were saying Have you talked to my lawyer? “Yes,” Francis said. “She’s all right?” “Seems to be.” “What does she have to say for herself?” “I don’t know what you mean.” “I hope you told her I said go to hell.”

(And I mean, if you do think that Charles is just jealous about their relationship here... this actually becomes quite funny. He was expecting Camilla to have spilled her guts to Francis about having left her incestuous relationship for another lover? Absurd.)

Anyway, this is all to say: at this point Charles is furious and no longer has as much reason to shield Henry for the farmer's killing. He's now a liability who could go to the police at any time.

This conversation between Richard and Henry while Charles is in the hospital.

As he said this, he trailed away. “There,” he said at last. “Does that look all right? Or do I need to open it up more in the middle?” “Henry,” I said. “Listen to me.” “I don’t want to take off too much,” he said vaguely. “I should have done this a month ago. The canes bleed if they’re pruned this late, but better late than never, as they say.”

#i actually have more on this but i'm attempting to practice self-control #the secret history

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buckevantommy · 5 months

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alright i finally managed to get a copy of the ep and i'm watching it on my smallass iphone screen which isn't ideal but i can't wait 3 days to get access to a bigger screen so here we go:

i need to know if that rainbow flare on buck was intentional

i might be looking too hard but that hand grabbing buck's throat and then eddie's junk could be foreshadowing for you know what, i mean who's to say?

oliver deserves a fucking oscar for his nervous smitten buck performance

tommy shaved for their date which is so old school i love it but i also miss the scruff and need to see its return asap

hints of Tommy Backstory, my beloved

the convo about renting out a home with marisol and eddie but including buck is making me think of how buck is possibly being 'rented out' to tommy in the narrative for now but later eddie will be the one to buy

i understand tommy ending their date early but WHAT HAPPENED to him picking up buck from his loft?? and don't tell me he ubered for a first date when we know he drives. although i get not wanting to drink and drive ig

also: tommy was meant to pick up buck at 8pm and now they've finished dinner so wtf is eddie and marisol doing starting their dinner at like 930pm is that an LA thing bc that's insane

'oldest italian restaurant' sign just makes me think of tommy and buck's age gap and i giggle and gasp

buck's reaction to being rejected is breaking my hearrrrt. tommy opened him up to his sexuality and buck was So Excited and now this guy is just dumping him?? who is he supposed to bounce his restless bisexual energy off now??

we're not even 10mins in so i have no idea what the bulk of this ep is gonna be about

oH YEAH THE GAY MOMS pls let them be happy

BUCK COMES OUT TO MADDIE ACCIDENTALLY like a true bisexual disaster

The Guy Thing is very much The Point buck, you sweet thick cinnamom scroll

buck is doubly an ally. he's a bially.

keep talking buck i am cackling you adorable baby bi

insane thing to have eddie post-sex with his nun gf after buck was gushing about tommy

it's okay buck, false starts with difficult convos happen, you'll get there

something something buck intending to come out to eddie and eddie explaining his sex problems all while eddie gets sweaty and swole

LIKE SEAMONKEYS! buck i adore you

buck wishes he could lend eddie a hand but he can't bc he's no homewrecker and bc eddie is quote unquote straight. not bc he himself is taken, bc the hot pilot dumped him and oh now i'm sad again :(

there's some buck+guilt [re:self worth] meta glanced over here that makes me wanna delve into some introspective reads

buck giving good advice is something that can be so personal

hen saving a rescue dog after it attacked the firefighter trying to save it as a parallel to their current foster child situation. it's just good storytelling. the dark stuff is getting hopeful

HANG OUT WITH THE BOYS eddie you don't know how perfect your words are

i really love the way they chose for buck to come out to eddie. trying to do it at a certain time didn't work for him, it was too daunting. but as soon as eddie mistook buck's date with tommy for something platonic? buck doesn't want to hide anymore. it really speaks to the human and especially the queer experience - that need to correct someone's misinterpretation (someone important to buck) of who you are.

GAY TOMMY CONFIRMED

supportive eddie and 'this doesn't change a thing between us'

buck finally getting to talk to his friend about getting dumped by a guy he was really hoping for more with

eddie's turn to give good advice to buck re:his dating life and we come full circle

buck's relief at eddie knowing and accepting him. the double-back for the hug. the comfort is all there.

i want to shower the wardrobe department in love for putting buck in that slutty blue 70s polo for his date within tommy and then the sky blue sweater and now this tight stripey number i am digging the vibes

buck hearing that he didn't screw things up with tommy, tommy just didn't want to pressure him bc the feels are mutual! and buck taking responsibility for his behaviour bc he's mature like that he's a good dude

i love lou but oliver literally glows - and i don't mean from the sunshine - he lights up every scene

the way buck gushed about tommy's confidence to maddie and now he's the confident one reassuring tommy that he wants this and that it won't be weird for tommy i am so proud of him

HOUSTON WE HAVE HAND HOLDING

sad my buddy chim was barely in this ep :(

WEDDING TEASER and we've got a Hangover situation and a missing groom omg

the writers are working their magic and we are reaping the rewards.

#911 spoilers #evantommy #.txt #watchnotes #bucktommy #buck is bi #buddie #911 abc 7x05 #bisexual disaster #bisexual characters #summary

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nordic-language-love · 1 year

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Hello! I hope you’re doing well! I was wondering if you could give me some advice when it comes to furthering my language learning. I’ve been learning Norwegian on Duolingo for almost 5 years now but I feel like I’ve barely made any progress into actually learning the language. I’ve seen you mention that Duolingo isn’t the best way to learn a language, just on its own. What more can I be doing to actually learn Norwegian? I appreciate any insight you might be able to give. Thank you!

Hi there!

I actually think Norwegian Duo's not that bad, especially compared to other courses. It got me to A2 level without my really using any other resources! But of course, A2 is still only the top of beginner level, and from thereon out it's pretty ineffective on its own (although I still used it even at B2 level as a way to refresh vocab I'd forgotten or just do a little practice every day when I didn't have the time or energy to do anything else).

There are a lot of different ways you can study Norwegian. Here are some things I did (it's an essay lmao I'm so sorry):

1) Listen to Norwegian radio. You'll probably think I'm mad when you first try it because you'll probably understand very little other than the odd word here and there, but I promise it gets easier and you'll get used to the rhythm of the language in a way Duolingo doesn't prepare you for. Try to shadow the speakers (repeat what they say just after they say it. You don't have to know the words they're actually saying; just approximate the phonemes and the melody and the stress patterns. I promise you your pronunciation is gonna get SO good)

2) Take to Youtube. Check my resources list here for some links to channels that teach Norwegian.

3) Norwegian podcasts! I made a list of some beginner/intermediate-friendly ones (check the link in point 2). The plus with podcasts is you can slow the speed down to half-speed too. Again, don't be discouraged if it's difficult at first; just focus on the rhythm and stress of the language

4) Norwegian TV. You're gonna struggle at first but you need to struggle to improve, so don't be discouraged even if several months pass without you feeling like there's any improvement. Intermediate level sucks I'm afraid. Some shows I like that don't require a VPN (as of the time I'm posting this) are Fra bølle til bestevenn (it's got dogs in it), Hva feiler det deg (game show where normal people with internet compete against doctors to guess a patient's diagnosis), 113 (documentary following paramedics in Trondheim - try not to cry at the dialects), Klassequizen (quiz show with 10th graders, pretty A2/B1-friendly), Side Om Side (popular sitcom, sometimes the second-hand embarrassment kills me but mostly it's pretty funny) and Superkrim (did you know that crime stories around Easter time are a Thing in Norway? They make a new season of this one every year but it's accessible year-round, and the language is a lot simpler than a lot of shows, and it's pretty fun and a bit silly)

Note: subtitles are in Norwegian only, and half the time they match the nuance but not the actual words being said. I recommend trying to listen without them first, then listen with them, then listen without them again and see if you can catch a few more words.

5) Textbooks, if that's your jam. I recommend The Mystery Of Nils (you can jump straight to book 2: Mysteriet om Nils if you think you're ready. It's a bit of a jump but no point wasting money/time on something that you won't enjoy) and Norwegian Tutor (from the Teach Yourself series. The first few chapters will seem pretty basic but it's great at explaining nuances and prepositions in later chapters).

6) Read things in Norwegian. You can get short stories for beginner/intermediate level online, as well as read news articles (even if you can't read the whole article, just try the first paragraph). When I was about A2 level I would print things out and go through them just translating them, highlighting new words, words I'd encountered before but couldn't remember, words I could work out from context, particular grammar patterns and words I couldn't figure out and needed the help of a native speaker to work out.

7) Follow Norwegian accounts on social media. Here's a list I made earlier.

8) If you have some extra cash, investing in an italki tutor can be helpful. I've had lessons with a number of tutors so feel free to send me a message if you want help deciding which one to go with.

9) Keep a journal in Norwegian. Look up words you don't know and write them in a different colour. Maybe try to use words you learned that day and write them in a different colour too (even if by using them you're literally just writing "jeg lærte ordet «______» i dag. Det betyr ______")

10) You can also try creative writing. I started out by writing fiction largely in English but with Norwegian dialogue. I then moved on to writing short articles and then essays, then short stories and fan fiction.

11) You can try apps like HiNative and HelloTalk to find native speakers for language exchange. If you only know English though it might be difficult to find people because Norwegians typically speak really good English and aren't looking to learn/practice.

12) Listen to Norwegian music. Get on spotify and search "norsk (music genre of your choice)" and find some songs you like. Listen to them and pay attention to the lyrics. Then find the lyrics online and listen with the lyrics. Then try to translate the lyrics on your own. Finally, look up someone else's translation and see how close they are. Then try to learn the song and visualise meaning it with your whole heart as you sing along.

13) Practise speaking to yourself. It feels super awkward when you first start, but I always manage to get into the flow pretty quickly. You can have GT in front of you so you can look up things if you need to, or you can just write down words you don't know/couldn't think of as you go along, then look them up once you're done (I prefer this method; having GT in front of you encourages your brain to be lazy and not try to actively recall the information you need). Not sure what to write? Try my Speaking In 20 Challenge prompts.

14) Flashcards. I put this one last because really flashcards are only useful as a supplement to learning through other methods. They help to keep vocab fresh in your mind until you see it in context again (and it's the seeing words in context that's gonna cement the meaning in your brain. I've never heard anyone say "oh, I know that word because it was in my flashcard deck that I reviewed every night before bed", but I hear people say things like "oh, I know that obscure word because I watched cooking shows in my TL and the host said it aaaall the time" or "it's in a line from one of my favourite songs" a LOT).

Okay, that's it, essay over 😅 Hope I gave you some ideas! Best of luck with your Norwegian-learning journey!

#norsk #norwegian #ask

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honeesblog · 9 months

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The difficulty of proper academic comportment, dress, and relationships

As a female academic I am held to a very different standard to male academics in regards to physical appearance and this has only become more true as I've gone from undergrad to graduate student. At this point, I have to essentially dress for a job interview all the time, which luckily is quite natural for me as I've always preferred business casual clothes but moreover makeup and a splash of perfume and jewelry have also become staples. This is further complicated by the fact I don't have a full length mirror in my room, so dressing has become more difficult. Furthermore, as my goal is to become a professor, I need to think of my appearance and comportment in a very pragmatic way so as to further my chances.

I recently read an Economist article titled ' The Economics of Thinness' and it very poignantly made the case that being thinner, especially for women, raises employment outcomes and pay. I have always been on the larger side, never obese or even seeming as big as I really am. I swam competitively and I still lift weights and play several sports and at 5ft 8, my weight is quite well distributed. Most people would guess I weight 160-170lbs just on the edge of a healthy BMI but I in fact am 200lbs, well within the overweight BMI category. Since starting my PhD I've lost some weight and gained quite a bit of muscle from thrice weekly lifting sessions to deal with the stress alongside skipping breakfasts and sometimes lunches due to being busy but either way I'm larger than is economically ideal. Since I've lost weight I've noticed a social shift as well. Another great article is by Alana Massey titled 'You're Right, I Didn't Eat That' where she discusses the social benefits of thinness and her own need to maintain her thinness. She examines her own behaviour as half pragmatism and half pathology, making clear that it is not effortless, as I think so many of us assume when we see other women with prominent clavicles and flat stomachs. I feel I'm also in the same semi-pathological state occasionally, I need to go to the gym or get 10 000 steps but I don't need breakfast other than a coffee and splash of milk. Again, I'm not that thin yet but I'm working my way towards it, not because I hate my body or have self esteem issues (although I'd be lying if I said that those don't also factor in) but because I love what I do and I want to do it for a living. If I need to never eat breakfast again for my field I'd do it in a heartbeat. It doesn't help that I'm quite a competitive person and have been trying to get back into swimming again as I have free access to my university pool... Another issue is clothes, makeup, and jewelry. I've been updating all of these things as I want to seem sophisticated and intelligent as well as attractive. This Christmas I'm treating myself to some very nice jewelry and lipsticks, which are extremely expensive, and I keep a collection of perfume samples. Eventually I should buy a full size perfume of my choosing as I actually wear perfume most days now but it is all so very expensive!!! Same thing with clothes, I either need to take clothes in or buy new clothes as I've lost weight but its quite expensive for a student!

Dating is another aspect of my life which is important but frustrating. I would like to be married and have a child before my mid 30s. I have a long time sure but due to my commitment to my career and studies I've never been in a committed relationship. Even now that I'm actively looking to date, I get overwhelmed by my nerves and emotions and basically decide that dating is not worth the hassle due to fear. Academia also complicates the idea of having a partner as I will go all over the world for my job and whoever I'm with should support that and be willing to help and while a lot of women will do that for their men, the same can't be said for most men.

Anyways, in all of these things I think I'm headed down the right roads I just need to keep to the course and commit myself to them. I'm planning on starting swimming 4-5 times a week once I get off break so hopefully that will work out.

Thanks for reading x.

Hon.E

#phd #phdblr #phdjourney #phd life #beauty standards #academic #women in academia #female academic #makeup #weight loss #fashion #academic culture #dark academia #light academia #chaotic academia #mypost

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vodkassassin · 1 year

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Quick transmigration original story (agent 22) for WIP Wednesday!

@mad-madam-m oooh I’m so glad you’re interested!

—

Alesseo sets his glass down on the table with such a careful hand that it barely makes a sound. He chooses to stare at the clear liquid inside of it, and the vibrations that carry across the surface of that with every small noise of the room, instead of at the other people at the table.

Though, he can feel their stares on him.

He thinks it was a blessing, in fact, that the original Alesseo’s family was not close to him. That they did not care too much for him to interact overly much. Less interaction means they don’t know him as well as they might even pretend to.

As long as he remains politely distant, it won’t be too difficult to build himself a road of points toward resolving one of the original’s major Regrets.

“You’ll be going back to the university, then?” One of the brothers, the second eldest brother, Dantevius, suddenly asks.

Alesseo blinks and raises his gaze up from the cup. He considers the older man for a moment before dipping his head in a simple nod.

“Yes.” He replies.

“It’s too soon.” Mother immediately intercedes. There is a severe expression on her face that makes her look years older than she actually is. “You just got home from the hospital! You need more time to rest and recover.”

“The exams are coming up soon, so I need to prepare.”

“Mm.” Liera’s lips press even thinner, but she has no way to refute that.

After all, it’s not as if the university will reschedule the annual exams just for one student.

No matter what noble family he hails from.

“Recently, I’ve some investigations that bring me around the university sometimes.” Dantevius continues the conversations amiably, a pleasant expression on his face. Although, he also looks somewhat imploring. “I could…”

There’s a brief moment of silence. Glances are exchanged between family members, but none of them quite look at Alesseo. The youngest looks rather awkward, even.

Dantevius coughs to clear his throat. “I was wondering if it wouldn’t be too rude of me to, ah, stop by?”

Alesseo looks at him, confused.

“And… visit?” Dantevius isn’t looking at him. His gaze is a mask of politeness aimed toward the far wall.

Beside him, the eldest son is looking a little bit annoyed now.

“A few times?”

Alesseo isn’t sure how to respond?

“Ahem. Once?”

“Oh.” Alesseo coughs into his fist, eyes returning to his drink. “I don’t think there’s a rule against that.”

There’s another beat of awkward silence. He glances up. Dantevius is staring at him with a rather intense gaze, sharper at the corners than usual.

Oh! It makes sense, actually.

If Dantevius, who is a rather well-known officer of the knights order’s investigation unit, shows up at the university, it would draw a lot of attention. Too much attention would make trying to investigate whatever case he is on that has to do with the university rather difficult.

However…

If Dantevius, who is an older brother of one of the students of the university, dropped by casually to see his younger sibling for a family visit, then it was much more likely he’d be left alone out of politeness. Which would give him easier access to the university, and thus make the investigation go much smoother.

Alesseo nods decisively. Yes, there definitely is a reason that Dantevius Ardizzone was an up-and-coming super star of the Knights Order investigative unit. It wasn’t just because of his looks, he was actually very smart.

“I’m sorry for not inviting you before now.” He says. “I wasn’t aware that you would want to come. But, I wouldn’t mind if you visited, big brother. Whenever you want.”

Assured that he’s made the correct decision, Alesseo mentally pats himself on the back and finally digs into his meal.

He’s too busy eating to notice the contemplative frown that has made its way onto Dantevius’ face.

#vodkassassin fanfiction #Alesseo 22 #original fiction #quick transmigration

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boygirldykefag · 8 months

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I was a Wolf main before Humans completely changed the meta in nearly every server. My character got tamed and eventually I switched my main to Dog. Adjusting from a Hunter class to a Support class was difficult, but once I got the hang of it, I realized playing Dog was far easier than playing Wolf. I didn't have to use much energy, my party members would bring me free XP, and they often saved me from things that would have given me a game over as a Wolf. After thousands of years of playing Dog, though, it got boring; there's not a whole lot of variety in Dog gameplay.

I decided to play Human, since, after Dog, it was the class I was most familiar with. And Human is way more complicated than I thought it would be. Human runs last a very long time, and they're extremely complicated. Every animal has a lot of RNG to its spawn, but Humans seem to have 10x more. I was lucky to spawn with really good party members in a decent server, but I know some that didn't, and got a lot of debuffs from unlucky events in their tutorials. I got a few, but I got a lot more buffs, because my early party members are kind, smart, and have the "financially stable" attribute. They even helped me with the Transition Sidequest once I discovered I had the Transgender perk. I'm really glad I did that sidequest; now the perk gives me a big passive morale boost, which makes nearly everything in the game easier. I recently finished the tutorial and now I'm playing the Extended Tutorial DLC. My tutorial party members have been nice enough to help me pay for it, because this DLC is very expensive. I may do the Extended Tutorial 2 DLC, but I'm still thinking about it. The main purpose of Extended Tutorial is to level up my Writing skill, though I also really like the sidequests and finding other players for morale-boosting activities, and the communal living makes this really easy. Eventually I hope to make enough progress on the Write A Book sidequest to gain the Published Author prestige. This prestige gives you Fame and Money, though there's a massive amount of RNG to this. What's good about this sidequest is you can do it any number of times, although it takes a significant time investment, and even more time if you want to increase your chances to get a lot of Fame and Money.

Human plays like no other class. As a Human, you can forego the main quest with basically zero downsides. There are hundreds of options for specialization as a Human, and many of these specializations are so specific that they essentially are their own classes. These "classes" have their own quests that can replace the main quest, too. For example, my specialization is a Creative specialization, so my main quest is to collect a certain amount of Fame points. This is also true for Performer and Athlete specializations. Most Humans still do the main quest, though, exceptions being Humans with the Homosexual or Asexual perks.

Resources are also entirely different for Humans. As a Human, you have to worry about the additional resource Money, which is massively RNG dependent. Some players start out with a lot of Money, but many more start out with very little Money. Money can be earned mostly through a Job, and each Job has its own specific requirements and they usually have different rewards. The Job you pick is very impactful to your run; many Jobs give you a debuff, most commonly to your morale, but some can permanently cripple your character or even give you a game over. I'm pursing Professional Author, since it mostly consists of the Writing task, which usually gives my character a morale boost, but there's RNG to that, too. I'm hoping the Write A Book and Published Author prestige give me enough Money. Money is required for every base resource as a Human, which is both good and bad. If you have money, acquiring resources and gaining XP is incredibly easy, but if you lack money, you lose access to critical resources look Food and Shelter, which can give you huge debuffs or even a game over in some cases. So far, I'm happy with my Human playthrough. The tutorial went really well and I have a good opportunity to spec into a subclass that's really fun for me. I hope everything continues to go well and I complete my subclass's main quest.

#outside #tierzoo

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caffstrink · 1 year

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your points about omori are so real but i also think the story isnt even that good like the "twist"... like not only does it not really make sense logistically (puts on my cinemasins goggles for a minute) how did two small kids drag an older girl into the woods to hang her without getting noticed and also why even come to that conclusion instead of making it look like more of an accident in the original scene (takes off my cinemasins goggles sorry about that) but i felt like it was kind of cheapened when it wasnt her killing herself. like he still couldve blamed himself for that because he wasnt there for her and didnt notice the signs but its like no he accidentally pushed her down the stairs. (and then framed it as a suicide which Was indeed actually a bad thing to do so yeah man you should feel a little guilty) but that could just be me being an enjoyer of explorations of suicide and its aftermath in stories

Honestly the twist was the only praiseworthy thing i found in the game and even so it wasn't enough to redeem the whole journey to get there imo. I think my opinion happens to be the opposite of yours bc mari comitting suicide would've been too simple, too expected, whileas sunny accidentally causing her death is what explains the guilt that makes him repress his emotions/identity and choose to live in his imagination. Theres 2 main big issues i have with it though, and since you've given me the opportunity I'll rant about it.

If i remember right at the time of her death mari was 15 while sunny/basil were 11 or 12, so i don't think it would be far-fetched for the two to carry her body together, although hanging her from the tree would be difficult. As for no one noticing i think that's actually pretty normal as far as these cases go, you'd be surprised at how many murders happen in broad daylight in suburban areas where there's neighbors walking outside yet no one notices bc they're not looking at someone's backyard to see some guy burying a dead body (if you watch those murder documentaries you'd be surprised at how common these cases tend to be). Basil trying to frame it as suicide is honestly a very very stupid idea, but considering their age and the situation it does make sense since they were panicking and people have 0 braincells when they're panicking.

The main reason i liked this twist though, may be because of how i perceived the scene where we see mari's hanging body and how it had an eye open, i thought it implied mari could be still alive when they hung her, and the uncertainty of it is what wouldve plagued sunnys psyche for the following years. Idk that was what i thought at least, but i don't recall seeing anyone else point out mari possibly still being alive when she was hung, so it may be just me.

Now here's the rant part. The game subtly implies that sunny's parents knew it wasn't a suicide. And by subtly i mean in a HIDDEN ROOM YOU HAVE TO ACCESS THROUGH ALTERING VALUES IN THE GAME FILES instead of, i don't know, in the annoying dragged out black space horror segment? Anyway in that room you see a shadow of what looks to be Sunnys father chopping down the tree and he says "you're no son of mine" or something along those lines (its been a while so i forgot the exact quote). PLUS its kind of obvious maris body wouldve been taken to be analyzed and theyd for sure see the head trauma that caused her death, but since it was accidental and both sunny and basil were minors, it's likely they went unpunished and Sunny's parents covered up with the suicide story so the others wouldn't think of them as murderers.

Why the hell does the game never mention his parents except on the real world? Its shown they divorced after mari died, did sunny not really care about that? Why does his ugly pastel escapism fantasy not have any mention to them? Did he not feel guilty about the grief he caused his parents? WHY IS IT NOT MENTIONED IN THE GAME AND ONLY IN A HIDDEN ROOM

And the second thing is the reasons that caused the incident in first place, it felt like it couldve been explored much more than it was. Like ok i get it, sunny didnt actually want to play violin, his friends thought he did and he was too afraid to disappoint them when they bought him one. But the main thing he mentions he hates about it in his diary is that he needs to practice on saturdays and misses 1 hour of cartoon watching with his friends. Like man. Come on. Priorities i guess? There wasn't any pressure of someone moving away, or someone leaving for college, or anything like it that would explain why sunny needed that 1 hour of cartoon watching with everyone so badly that it emotionally distressed him to that level.

My second complaint is how Mari is treated like a pure saint through all of the game, which was kind of a missed opportunity to have shown that she also was flawed and not always the kind big sister he idealized her to be in his mind (it could've also been shown that the Saint Mari in his brain is due to his guilt, but no, apparently she was just was like that irl too), the only flaw mari had was that she was perfectionist about the piano recital and pressured sunny about it? Like come on man there could've been more here. We could've had accepting mari was a flawed human as a part of sunnys recovery so he can move on from itn but instead mari is just a perfect angel through all of the game who unfortunately was accidentally killed by her younger brother bc she got upset he broke his violin on purpose like any 15 year old would. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

#long post

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bluegekk0 · 1 year

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So you said that grimm can consume blood to extend his lifespan, does he tend to suck blood often? I would imagine that he doesn’t do it as much because I think that would involve killing the bug and since most of the bugs are citizens of hollownest he probably wouldn’t want to negatively affect PK’s kingdom like that. But I wanna hear your what you have to say about this :)

i'm really sorry if this is all over the place and convoluted. i still haven't properly written down grimm's au notes, so a lot of it is kind of messy. i do have ideas that are more or less clear in my head, but it's difficult for me to put them into words at this time. on top of that, the last few days have been quite stressful, so i'm perhaps not in the best state of mind. but i hope this is not too confusing, feel free to send another ask if you want me to clarify anything

but to start: he doesn't need to do it very often, although the more he does it, the longer his body can last. it does have its limit, he can't run the body on blood alone, and since all of its functions have an "expiration date", simply due to the fact that the nightmare heart's power is limited (which wouldn't be a problem if he wasn't kicked out of the dream realm he shared with the radiance, but that's a story i'm still working on and i don't want to share too many details just yet), he has to replace it sooner or later. generally speaking though, drinking a large amount of blood once per ritual cycle would be enough to keep him going for at least a week or two longer. alternatively, he can drink smaller doses more often, which would be a better option if he wants to avoid killing. in either case, it's only effective up to a certain threshold, so he can't "stack" the effect to sustain his body indefinitely, if that makes sense

like you mentioned, doing so would generally not end well for the victim. of course, he can try being more gentle about it, simply cutting the outer shell with his fangs and licking off the blood that pours from it would usually do it, but 1. it's not a lot of blood for the effort it takes and 2. it can be very difficult to do if said bug is wiggling around trying to fight back. besides, he enjoys the smell and taste of fear, he's a creature of nightmares after all, he relishes in it. so most of the time he doesn't worry too much over the victim's fate and drinks the blood until he's satisfied. if they somehow survive? good for them. if they don't? not his problem

he does have the option to feed on animal blood, but they're a pain to catch if you're not a skilled hunter. grimm may have a lot of talents, but he's no bear grylls, and so he does not bother getting his hands dirty trying to catch tiktiks or other animals. if he has a chance to drink their blood, he will take it, but he would much rather just visit the city of tears and find a target there

speaking of the city of tears, that would be his main "hunting ground" within hallownest. there are two main reasons for that. firstly, he made a promise to fpk that he would not harm anyone in dirtmouth, although i do think that over time he gains some fondness for those living there, so that would be another point in their favor. and from all of the other communities in hallownest, the city is the biggest and the easiest to access. secondly, the bugs in the city are quite hostile towards fpk. they view him as a beast and so they treat him with no respect, and that irks grimm. i mentioned it before, but i like to think this is fpk's doing, he pushed for the "rise above beastly instincts" rhetoric during his reign, blind to the hostility that resulted from it, and now it's back to bite him in the ass. deserved, arguably, but the main point is that he now does not feel welcome in the city. grimm takes note of that, so he picks his targets carefully, usually among those in the city who have wronged fpk in any way. that, or he simply goes for those he finds annoying, which is not difficult if you're in a city populated by snobs (they may not be rich anymore, but they sure as hell act like they are). point is, he doesn't just attack anyone he sees, he's not that desperate

i did talk about it before, but i'll mention it again here before anyone starts wondering "but isn't the city dead?". yes, it was basically empty during the infection, not including the "zombies" controlled by the radiance. however, with her gone, the infection disappeared, and i imagine that those that were infected while still alive, and whose bodies have not been damaged by the infection too drastically, have survived. this ranges from common bugs to the rich bugs in the city. and the latter, although smaller in number, began repopulating the city and rebuilding it, slowly bringing it back to where it was before the infection. naturally, it's still a husk of its former self, but i do think that with time it slowly reclaims its capital status, with traveling bugs that visit hallownest choosing to stay there over places like dirtmouth (which also begins to see new residents, mostly those who don't fancy living in the city)

as for fpk and his mindset about the kingdom, he doesn't see himself as its ruler anymore. he failed his subjects, he doesn't deserve that title. if hallownest rebuilds itself, he has no right to call it his own anymore. on top of that, he can't protect everyone in it anymore, and with the city's hostility towards him, part of him doesn't even want to. instead, he chooses to focus all of his attention on dirtmouth, as that is his home and his community now. he realizes that, in his desperate attempt to make his kingdom last eternal, he hurt those the closest to him, so he now prioritizes them over those he has no attachment to. of course, that doesn't mean he's completely fine with just letting those other bugs die, he does ask grimm to at least try not to kill too many of them, and often offers to bring him animals instead, but he also doesn't lose sleep over it (he has plenty of other things to worry about anyway). is he a coward for not taking responsibility of his once-subjects? perhaps, he isn't without his flaws. though at the same time, he is in no mental or even physical state to do it, and knowing how it ended last time, perhaps it's for the better that he stays away and lets them take care of themselves

to bring this back to grimm, since of course i started rambling about fpk: another thing worth mentioning is that he often drinks blood outside of hallownest. he visits other kingdoms that are still alive, not as often as he did before reuniting with fpk, but he still leaves occasionally, whether it is to perform with the troupe, get something for his family on the market, or to simply wind down and enjoy himself. and in those kingdoms, he has no reason to hold back. any bug or other creature that gets in the way is a potential target if he feels like it, and the aftermath is none of his concern since he leaves the kingdom soon after. so that decreases the potential number of his victims within hallownest even further, making it easier for him not to kill too many local bugs, just as fpk asked

so to sum it up, in case you find my rambling incoherent: he doesn't need to drink blood too often. he respects fpk's wishes not to harm anyone in dirtmouth, and so picks his targets carefully, mainly among those fpk holds no attachment to. unless he is in another kingdom, in which case he just does what he wants, since those living there are none of fpk's concern

well, i think that's all i wanted to say. again, sorry if it's messy. it took me a very long time to write this cause i kept feeling insecure about it and considered scrapping/rewriting it on multiple occasions, but i still hope that it makes at least some sense

#ask stuff #feral pk au

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im-clapped-af · 1 year

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In the shadow of the past Chapter 6

6. Hogsmeade

3rd September 1890

Ominis straightened his tie and buttoned up his vest, attempting to pay attention to Sebastian as he rambled on about the Crossed Wands duel the day before.

“And then she just cast Levioso straight at him and sent him flying into the wall! She’s so quick with her wand, it’s hard to believe that she hasn’t much experience duelling.”

“Ah well, some people are just graced with amazing duelling abilities. It’s like an instinct almost.” Although Ominis was not one to take part in the duelling society, he was no stranger to trusting his instincts. The few time he had taken part, the students thought that his blindness would set them at an advantage. However, his ability to process and compute sound was a great benefit. The slightest echo of his oppositions foot touching the floor would alert him of their direction, which he would then shoot sparks at.

“I know, but you wouldn’t believe what I saw yesterday. Besting me in a duel is one thing but winning a duel where it is just you versus three third years is truly something.” Sebastian tied his shoelaces quickly, they were cutting it close to when breakfast in the Great Hall ended, and he was not one to miss out on a meal.

Ominis tapped his wand and raised It slightly, ready for it to guide him to the Great Hall. “Does this mean I will be competing for your attention now? You seem infatuated with Audrey already, this is only her third day here, don’t scare her away.” Sebastian rolled his eyes at Ominis’ teasing.

“Don’t get jealous now, you’ll always have a special place in my heart.”

“Hmm, rightfully so.”

A few hours later, the boys sat in the library studying during a free period. Ominis traced his finger over the book, reading the braille that formed on the page as he pressed his finger against a word. Sebastian had his head stuck in a book, reading more information on Shrivelfigs. He sat back in his chair, annoyed at the revelation that despite its healing properties, it couldn’t reverse the effects of curses.

“See something you don’t like?” Ominis asked him. Sebastian sighed and dragged his hand down his face.

“I just want to find something that can help Anne. It doesn’t even have to cure her straight away, I just want to find something that can ease her pain.”

Ominis looked up, offering a sympathetic smile, “Sebastian – I’m sure there will be something out there eventually.” He didn’t sound convinced by what he said.

Sebastian stood and closed the book. “I’m going to the Restricted Section again. I haven’t seen Scribner in a while. There should be something in there that can point me in the right direction.” He turned away, making his way to the closed off section.

“Sebastian, you know that isn’t a good idea, Scribner is becoming immune to your sweet talk now – “

“Well, when do you ever think an idea of mine is good anymore.” Sebastian huffed, ignoring Ominis’ sigh.

Once he made his way to the gate that prevented students from accessing the Restricted Section, he crouched slightly and peered over his shoulder, measuring the likelihood of him being caught. He pulled his wand out and cast AlohomoraI. The lock didn’t click open.

“What?” He whispered out loud to himself. He held onto the handle and tried pushing the gate open but was met with resistance. Fuck! He thought to himself, Scribner must have place an anti-Alohomora charm on the lock. It made sense; he had been caught on numerous occasions sneaking into the Restricted Section and they somehow decided to not make it any more difficult to gain access to it.

“Sebastian Sallow!”

Shit!

Sebastian stood straighter, turning to face Scribner. Her arms were folded over her chest, foot tapping on the oak floor. It sounded as though she was tapping for every instance she had caught him trying to sneak in.

“Third day back and already trying to sneak into the Restricted Section! When will you learn Sebastian.” She seemed genuinely disappointed. He looked down at the ground. He wasn’t ashamed, he never was. He felt guilty over being caught and not being able to gain more information to help Anne. “I guess this means detention after school tonight, how does detention tonight cleaning the candelabras sound to you?”

Not again! The last time he did that he was in the library past midnight. It would mean that he wouldn’t get a chance to speak to Audrey until tomorrow.

“Ah Mister Sallow.” Professor Weasley strolled up to the pair. “I’ve been looking for you. Is everything ok here Miss Scribner, I hope this isn’t what I think it is.” She looked at Sebastian, eyeing him.

Scribner sighed, “No Professor Weasley, I was just reminding Mister Sallow here that the Restricted Section is off bounds to students. We don’t want a repeat of last year now do we.” She smiled at him, to which he responded with a grin.

Weasley pulled him aside as Scribner wandered off, most likely to harass other students who wanted to quench their thirst for knowledge. Weasley informed him of her suggestion to Audrey that he join her in a trip to Hogsmeade.

Oh, how perfect. He would thank Audrey for what she had done for him. A way out of detention and a trip to Hogsmeade. She was proving herself quite useful for him.

Sebastian stood near the main entrance of the castle waiting for Audrey to arrive. He never seemed to know where she was. She was always running around the castle helping students and having additional lessons with the professors. Last he heard; she had secured an impressive gob stone collection that had belonged to Zenobia. The Ravenclaw deserved it, especially with how she laughed at him and Ominis after she beat them both at the game.

She saw him waiting, and quickly made her way over to him. He smiled broadly at her, that cheesy grin that make those brown eyes glow. “Sebastian, there you are!.”

“There you are.” She couldn’t help but hold on to the way he said ‘you’. “I’m told you’re in dire need of supplies and I’m to accompany you into Hogsmeade for them. Is this your first foray into the village?” He cringed to himself slightly. Why would he ask that? Of course, this would be her first visit to the village, Weasley told him it was.

“It is. I haven’t left the castle since I arrived.”

“Well, I shall endeavour to be the very best guides then. Hogsmeade’s c charming little place. Self-contained, too. We should be able to find you everything that you need. Shall we?” They started towards the doors. Audrey blushed a little. This was her first time she would be unchaperoned with a boy. It appears the wizarding was more progressive by allowing men and women to accompany each other without someone looming over their shoulder, checking that they were not getting too close to each other.

“I was glad Professor Weasley asked me to join you today.”

“As am I. Thank you, by the way.”

He responded more eagerly than he intended to. “Of course! You’re the only one who’s ever bested me in a duel. The way I see it. I’d be wise to keep an eye on you. Speaking of Weasley, she seems to have taken quite a shine to you.”

Audrey hadn’t noticed. “That’s nice to hear.”

“I’m still surprised that a professor would entrust me with anything, given my detention record.”

“Spend a lot of time in detention, do you?”. They were coming up to a bridge, she slowed down a little, admiring the scenery around her. Living in London, she was never really exposed to the beauty that was the countryside. Its rich greens and fresh clean air calmed her, London could not live up to the scenes around her.

“Just enough to keep me well-rounded.” Audrey laughed. “Speaking of detention, this trip to Hogsmeade might’ve saved me from one.”

“Glad I could be of service.” He told her of his great escape from Scribner, courtesy of her and Weasley. She asked about why they were on bad terms with each other. She could sense his irritation over not being allowed In the Restricted Section; it radiated off him like the spells from her wand did. He stopped, pointing over to a patch of grass and told her of lacewing flies and the benefits of them. Audrey wandered over, examining them as they flew around shrubbery. Yellow flowers, like daffodils, hummed and buzzed next to her. Sebastian admired her as he stood behind, watching her take in the magic of their world. It reminded him of himself in his first year. Despite being well-versed of the wizarding world due to his professor parents, there was a spark of excitement that Hogwarts brought that couldn’t be beaten.

“Merlin’s beard! From the Forbidden Forest! Look!” He pointed towards two white hippogriffs that flew through the sky. Audrey stared in amazement. “Quite a sight, isn’t it? You certainly don’t see that every day.”

“It’s beautiful!”

As they made their way further to Hogsmeade, Sebastian pointed out the Forbidden Forest. He warned her that it was out of bounds to all students. It felt more like a suggestion from him. He did say he had a habit of sneaking into restricted areas. They spoke of her adventures in the castle, something she had little to do, unless you counted getting lost on the way to lessons as exploring. It appears every staircase she took changed direction when she got to the top of it. He spoke of his experience of still not knowing where everything was after five years of studying there as well as knowing there was still places to explore.

“Oh? Any you’d like to share with the class?”

“perhaps one day, I cant go around telling you all my secrets now, can I? You still haven’t indulged me as to how you’re so good at duelling” He teased her. She didn’t respond, instead, focusing her attention of the thestrals pulling the carriage which they had moved out of the way for. “I’ve always thought thestrals pulling a carriage a bit grim. Though I suppose most people don’t see them at all.”

“But you can see them?”

“Unfortunately.” Neither of them liked the way the conversation had turned sombre, preferring the playful teasing that had started earlier. “But you’ve seen quite a bit yourself first-hand too – most notable that dragon attack. Hopefully the rest of your year isn’t as eventful.” They continued in silence. Audrey thought back to the moment the dragon snapped its jaw shut, crushing the man inside its mouth. The sound of the mans screams turning into silence had haunted her. They approached the groundskeeper, who warned them of something. She didn’t understand. He appeared drunk, something in his pumpkin juice Sebastian had mentioned.

“My sister Anne thinks he’s lovely.”

“Oh, is your sister in Slytherin too?” She hadn’t realised he had a sister. There wasn’t anyone in the common room that looked like him.

“She is – or rather, she was. She’s not well at the moment but she’ll be better soon and back at Hogwarts.” She heard the resilience in his voice, as if he was trying to convince himself that his sister would be returning soon. “Do you have any siblings?”

Audrey didn’t want to pry further, sensing his sister was a sensitive topic for him. “No, well, my parents had tried to have children before me, but they all died while she was pregnant or when they were born. My mother died when I was born, and my father never remarried, so it’s just me.”

“I’m sorry, I’ve lost my parents too.” Somehow, they had manged to turn the conversation sombre again. “Ah here we are, Hogsmeade. Honestly, if one could bottle the magic of this place.”

He turned to face her, asking what the best course of action was. They agreed to split up, focusing on gathering the items they needed.

Audrey wandered over into Ollivander’s shop. The windows and shelves were filled with boxes of all shapes and sizes. The room was dimly lit, illuminated by candles. A bell announced her entrance, and a thin, pale man appeared. Quickly, he made his way over to her and introduced himself, pulling different boxes out of the shelves with calculated precision. With each wand she was presented, a jolt of electricity shot up her arm and caused a scene. The man searched for another wand, taking his time and considering what would be suited best for her. He tapped the boxes, something she assumed was his process of figuring out which slender box to pull out next.

He reached up pulling a dark maroon box from the top of a shelf. In it, a dark brown spiral wand lay waiting for its owner. She picked it up and cast it. A light emitted from the tip, illuminating the room greater than the candles did.

“Ah elder wood, one that is more tricky to master. Phoenix feather, eleven and a half inches, nice and supple. A very powerful wand indeed.”

Audrey sat on a bench near an overbearing tree, utilising the shade to shield her from the sun. She held the wand in her hand, admiring it while twisting It around. She ran her fingers along the grooves of the spiral. What did Ollivander mean by powerful wand. How powerful was it? What did any of the properties he listed off mean? Phoenix feather? Elder wood? It was something she would ask Fig later, he could answer her questions.

Sebastian walked out of a shop, counting the left-over galleons in his hand from the purchase of a shrivelfig. He spotted her and grinned

“I have all my supplies. Did you get what you needed for your sister?”

“I did. So I suppose the world is our oyster now. Lets see what else we can get up to.” He looked in the direction of the Three Broomsticks. A couple butterbeers wouldn’t hurt anyone, plus, he could use the opportunity to learn more about her. Hopefully, try and find more out about her strange arrival and how she is such a talented dueller.

As if the world never wanted him to satisfy his curiosity, thunder erupted in the air. Although, this wasn’t in the air, it was too clear for it to be thunder and lightning. The ground shook, starling the pair and the villagers nearby. A shadow loomed nearby, and quickly a large troll appeared. It struck down at the ground while two villagers cast spells at it. It turned towards the two villagers and started towards them until it was knocked by a spell. It face Audrey, whose wand had cast the spell. Sebastian quickly brought his wand out, ready to attack. He cast at the troll. It was knocked forward slightly as an Auror cast Bombarda at it. It chased after villagers and auror, who was luring it away from the two students.

Before they could calm themselves, the ground shook again. A troll burst its way out of a building, causing it to crumble down on top of itself. It roared and raced towards the two. Audrey readied her wand. It felt as though the world slowed down, the troll mere moments away from striking her with its club. She lurched to the side, narrowly avoiding its swing. It roared at them again. Quickly, they cast a cacophony of spells at it. It stumbled from being hit by the spells but didn’t seem to slow down. It lunged towards Sebastian, who attempted to dodge but was hit by the club, sending him backwards into a pile of boxes, softening the blow. He recovered quickly, summoning a barrel with Accio and launched it towards the troll. Audrey followed in his lead, summoning barrels and bricks and shot them at the troll. It was visibly weakening. In a final effort of causing harm to them, it lunged towards Audrey.

Inside her, a fire burned. It travelled up her spine and through her veins. Her body hummed as she lifted her wand and pointed it towards her hand. A blue glow emerged from the tip, the brightness growing as she swirled it in her palm as if she was summoning a great power inside of her. She pointed it towards the troll. A bright blue flash shot at the troll, enveloping it in a purple haze. It shook violently, cracks of purple light emerged from its skin until it erupted in front of them. Smoke surrounded where it stood as purple sparkles fell to the floor.

She could barely register what had happened. The Auror ran over to the two of them, voicing her praise and confusion as to how they had taken down a troll on their own. Sebastian watched Audrey, she didn’t appear to be conscious of what was happening, as if what power she just emitted had put her into a state of shock.

“I’d appreciate if you could help repair the damage to the area, I want to check on the villagers.” In an instant, Audrey’s attention was back on the Auror. She couldn’t remember what had occurred between the eruption of the troll and what the Auror had said.

Sebastian pulled her aside. “Hey, are you ok? You seemed to lose focus while the Auror was speaking to us. I can repair the damage, you just take a breather.”

“No, I’m fine.” Before he could protest, she walked off towards a statue that had taken a beating from the troll. She didn’t want to acknowledge what he had saw. So much had happened in such a short time. A little bit of disassociation was normal. Wasn’t it?

After repairing the damage, the two made their way down to the Three Broomsticks. Sebastian told her she earned a butterbeer on him for the fight she had put up. They walked in silence, but stopped when they notice two individuals walking down the steps to the left of them. They stalked over to the side of the building, attempting to overhear the conversation. There, Ranrok and Rookwood argued over the “distraction” and “the child”. The two couldn’t believe what they were hearing. Ranrok looked in their direction, the pair quickly moved out of his view and rushed down the street. They didn’t know whether they had been seen or not. Sebastian felt bile form in his throat. He remembered Ranrok from the Daily Prophet. He noticed the two emerge from where they had been listening to their conversation.

“Quickly! Let’s get inside the Three Broomsticks.” Audrey followed his lead down the street as he guided them into the pub. They walked nervously over to the bar and sat on the chairs, attempting to not look suspicious over their rushed entrance.

A woman greeted them warmly, “Now, what can I – oh there’s a face I haven’t seen before.” Her voice was rich and deep, welcoming Audrey into the comfort and safety of the Three Broomsticks.

“It’s my first time here.”

The woman smiled in response. “Welcome, Butterbeers on me.” She whipped out her wand and two tankards filled up with a foaming golden liquid. It floated over to the pair as she told them how she would look into how the other villagers and shop keepers were holding up after the attack.

“Glad to see you two are ok.”

“Thanks to this one. Single-handedly took down a troll!” He raised his tankard up towards her. Clinking his cup against hers before taking a swig of the drink. She followed, savouring the taste in her mouth. A rich aroma of butterscotch and warm spices filled her nostrils. The frothy foam tingled her sense. The sweet caramel warmed her throat as she drank more. She recalled on Professor Weasley mentioning how she expected her to enjoy quite of few of the golden drink on her visits to Hogsmeade. She was right, the richness comfort it had brought was addictive.

“Thank you for this.” Audrey made clear of her appreciation.

As Sirona began to speak, Rookwood pushed open the entrance doors and sauntered in. Sirona walked out from the bar; irritation spread on her face. He attempted to intimidate her, to which she gave him no pleasure in showing any reaction if it did.

He pointed towards Audrey, “I’m only here for this one anyway.”

In an instant, Sebastian stood up, hand placed where his wand was resting inside his pocket, ready to use it. The bartender defended her,, to which Rookwood ignore and made his way over to the girl. The patrons of the pub all stood up, wands raised alongside Sebastian and Sirona.

“Perhaps you didn’t hear me. I said my friend is busy.” Sirona warned Rookwood one last time.

Sensing that he would not achieve what he wanted, he backed off but not before taunting her.

“Can’t drink butterbeer forever.” He sniggered and turned away, exiting the pub. The patrons returned their wands to their pockets, some leaving them out on the table, cautious of anymore threat that could occur.

Sebastian turned to Audrey, face aghast. “Trolls. Ranrok, and Rookwood? What are you not telling me?” She felt guilty not telling him the truth straight away, but too much had happened that she couldn’t register what was going on.

“I promise to tell you everything, but perhaps best I do that later.”

He sighed, unsatisfied with her answer. He would hold her to that promise later. “I think it’s best we return to the castle now.” He looked at the clock on the wall nearby. “It’s already past eight, we should have been back at the castle half an hour ago. And curfew is at nine, there’s no way we can get back to the common room walking back. Plus, I don’t think its safe for us to walk after what’s happened.”

“So how do you suggest we get back?”

“Floo powder, Sirona keeps some behind the bar. For those who are a bit too squiffy to get home on their own.” He walked over to the bar and spoke to Sirona. She handed him a handful of powder. He made his way over to the unlit fireplace. Audrey hadn’t notice there were too in the pub. One lit and one was not, the unlit one clearly for those travelling the way they were about to.

“Here,” he held his arm out for her to hold onto. “Hold onto my arm and don’t let go.” They stood inside the fireplace, his free arm held out holding the powder in his arm. She blushed slightly at how close they were stood and how tightly she was holding onto his arm. If someone from muggle society saw her right now, the scandal that would erupt!

“Slytherin Common Room.” He enunciated each word clearly and dropped the powder to the floor. Green flames swirled around their bodies engulfing them, and they shot up through the floo network. An intense heat rose through her body. She could barely register what had happened before they were shot out from the fireplace into the Slytherin Common Room.

Sebastian laughed, “Sorry, I forgot to mention it can be quite bumpy. Don’t worry, as long as you pronounce where you want to go clearly, you’ll end up in the right place. One time when I was seven, my parents let my sister and I practice travelling together, we pronounced Diagon Alley as diagonally. We were shot out of the fireplace into an abandoned house. I had to comfort my sister who was crying from fear.”

“I have a feeling it was your sister comforting you.” Audrey teased. He smiled back at her, not confirming or denying what she said. He stood closer to her, raising his hand towards her face.

“I think it’s best we both have a bath. Floo powder can be a rather messy way of travel.” He trailed a finger down her cheek and showed the dirtied finger to her. They laughed. His face was dusted in soot, covering the freckles that littered his face. Audrey thanked Merlin for the soot that covered her face otherwise he would see the intense blush that formed on her cheeks as his hand made contact with her face.

“Yes, you look like a chimneysweeper.” She joked with him. “Thank you, Sebastian, for today.”

“Of course, I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Of course.”

#sebastian sallow #sebastian x reader #sebastian x mc #sebastian and ominis #sebastain sallow x reader #hogwarts legacy #hogwarts #hogwarts legacy fanfic #ominis gaunt

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roseispending · 6 months

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No.7

March 2024 Review / The First Month

Starting my journey in March feels slightly awkward as its the third month of the year, but I keep telling myself it's as good a time as any.

I'm also low key wondering if I want to only have monthly updates or if should I keep the weekly ones for more accountability? As I've been struggling to keep a drawing habit I don't want to have bare weekly posts, but, the point of the weekly posts is for more accountability? So maybe I'm just embarrassed that I haven't got as much work as I'd like to show? TBD

Anyways, this first month had it's cliche ups and downs. I love that I started this blog, and I am happy that I am taking steps forward to accomplish an art career. It has also helped me in my personal life to feel more enthusiastic about my future in the small moments I may think of it.

I kept it fairly simple to be kind and to avoid overwhelming myself which can happen fairly easily tbh.

The one goal I didn't hit was to complete the Tory Polska domestika course. I started this course a while ago, but something stopped me from completing the project. Although I was really interested in it, I just didn't feel ready? I knew that it was one of the more difficult goals for March as I've had some anxiety about it, however I do still have access to the domestika course, and I will eventually complete it. Possibly within the next 2 months? Not sure. That scares me already.

April Goals!

Sharing some personal goals this time as well since my energy is being spent on those a lot more recently. I have job interviews lined up, and they genuinely take a lot of my energy before and afterwards - I need to prepare beforehand, and then it's like I need time to re-energise or regulate myself afterwards. Something to keep in mind and work on.

Setting myself the goal of an original drawing this month since I've been playing it safe by copying 👀 Designing/creating something of my own is where I feel the most pressure and anxiety in so I really want to alleviate that. Or at the very lest be consciously working on it.

That's all I have for now - scared and excited for April!

#Month Review

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dead-loch · 1 year

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I’ve just had my first decent night of sleep in 2 weeks and for some reason I have woken wanting to cuddle anyone here or anywhere who is considered uneducated (and note I said uneducated NOT willingly ignorant).

I used to hide this from everyone except those who already knew but I never graduated high school. I didn’t drop out, actually, although at this point, for my own mental health, dropping out may have been the better choice.

I grew up with a mother who forced me to attend an extremely strict & conservative catholic school, no matter how much I begged her to let me attend the arts school in our city. (My mom would later wish she had let me change schools.)

Being queer and trans in the early aughts was hell. It’s honestly astonishing to see how much things have changed (and in some cases, in some ways, gotten worse but in others, gotten much better). I don’t think I had a single happy day in that school. Unfortunately the teachers and staff were abusive. It was never the other students (which is usually the problem in high school) but the adults who truly didn’t give a shit. But anyway. In my last year, I was depressed and literally unable to get out of bed for months. I failed one class (history) by 5 points. And thus, no high school diploma. I’m honestly amazed I was even able to attend exams.

What really kills me is that I remember that I loved learning before high school (and actually problems began for me in elementary but those were personal). I loved writing. I loved reading. I used to search universities for the one I wanted to attend and as a child I’d picked Oxford because it sounded fancy and it was far away.

Unfortunately, these hopes and dreams were literally and figuratively beat out of me.

What I’m trying to say here is that there’s a difference between lacking (formal) education and being willingly ignorant (that word is important, because it indicates a choice being made). Lacking formal education can make things incredibly difficult, and as a now 32 yr old, I can see the many ways that not having attended university especially can be detrimental. People learn to craft arguments and defend their points of view in structured ways that you probably won’t learn just being out in the world. I think that’s really valuable because often I can only describe my feelings (thankfully I value feeling and emotion but people often look down on that too).

With no high school diploma (and employers having no context), I’ve had to fight for a lot of what I’ve accomplished. While fighting tooth and nail every day working jobs I hated that didn’t even pay me enough to live, I began volunteering at an art gallery. From there, I was offered a paid position. From there, I began a career in arts administration that spans almost a decade and would culminate in communications & marketing management. It’s not an exaggeration when I say that every single other person I have ever worked with had at least one degree.

And then in 2021 I decided to try for something more. I left a full time salaried position which had given me financial stability for the first time in my life and pursued what was in my heart & soul, which was being an artist. I was accepted into a very small program (in fact the only program of its kind in Canada) and suddenly I was back at school, with all of that trauma I hadn’t fully processed.

It was hard. The last time I’d written any kind of essay was in high school, and to be honest I couldn’t remember anything about that time or anything I might have learned. I felt like an idiot in theory classes because the writings were heavily academic and not accessible (this is a whole issue and not just for me).

And guess what.. attending an arts program didn’t fix all of my problems. I missed out on a lot of what people learn throughout their 20s if they get a post-secondary education. I also still have a lot of rough parts when it comes to educators, because I still struggle trusting them, even though the ones I met at this school were amazing and supportive and a complete departure from the ones I had in high school. It really sucks that so much of who we are is shaped during a time where we have little to no control over our environments. But them’s the breaks.

I think what I’m trying to say here (and I honestly have no idea why I’ve just decided to be all introspective this morning— I literally woke up 34 minutes ago) is that high school does not need to define your life. That’s not to say that not receiving a formal education won’t make things difficult. I’m not advocating for one or the other, because there are a lot of reasons someone won’t do well in school. But next time you meet someone who didn’t graduate high school, I hope your immediate reaction won’t be to think that they’re stupid or ignorant. Some of us have just been through it. Others need different environments than the ones we currently have to be able to learn. Still others may have had to make a difficult choice. And even with a high school education, attending university is often something you need access to resources for, and some of us don’t have those resources or don’t want to spend time fighting to get them.

I will say that from the outside, the one really good thing about attending university seems to be that you learn to express yourself and your ideas in very clear ways. Also reading comprehension. I have a lot of trouble expressing myself and I’ll often just give up because the thoughts come out really jumbled and not fully what I was intending. I think that’s invaluable and i think they’re starting to do that in high school too (based on the current people I know who are still there or graduated recently) which is great.

But really the whole point of this is that it hurts me so much when people who don’t have a formal education think they’re stupid because of it and I just want to say, clearly, that you are not. I also want to say that a lot of university grads will (knowingly or not) use their education as a tool to make others— the seemingly uneducated— feel inferior. Instead of speaking in language that is accessible, they will use heavily academic language to make you feel like you have no idea what you’re saying and therefore nothing you say has any weight (instead of using it to, you know, help others understand something). Fuck these people. That’s all I have to say about that.

#education #formal education #learning #high school

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